1 00:00:03,196 --> 00:00:08,196 2 00:00:10,197 --> 00:00:23,898 3 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:30,000 Once upon a time, in front of a department store far, far away... 4 00:00:31,001 --> 00:00:34,501 Leonardo, New Jersey, 70s 5 00:00:40,747 --> 00:00:44,000 Bobby is a sweet child, staying here for a while, mom will take free cheese, OK? 6 00:00:44,334 --> 00:00:47,295 This will protect you from the sun. 7 00:00:47,337 --> 00:00:50,131 Be a good boy. 8 00:00:55,345 --> 00:01:00,973 Okay, don't move your little defecate machine. I'll try to find something. 9 00:01:04,646 --> 00:01:05,938 What is this? 10 00:01:05,939 --> 00:01:07,940 Excuse me. Who cares for these babies? 11 00:01:07,941 --> 00:01:10,651 Uh, the fat one oversees the small . 12 00:01:10,652 --> 00:01:12,444 Oh, smart old man. 13 00:01:12,445 --> 00:01:14,905 Leave them there and see what will happen. 14 00:01:14,906 --> 00:01:17,408 Hey jerk! You bastard! 15 00:01:17,409 --> 00:01:19,285 Akh, keep shouting. 16 00:01:19,286 --> 00:01:21,912 Did you hear that bastard taught me to take care of you? 17 00:01:21,913 --> 00:01:23,455 Damn it! 18 00:01:23,456 --> 00:01:24,790 Who does he think he is? 19 00:01:24,791 --> 00:01:27,954 What child is as small as you can in front of this damn shop? 20 00:01:27,961 --> 00:01:29,254 Bastard! 21 00:01:31,923 --> 00:01:33,133 Bastard. 22 00:01:33,466 --> 00:01:34,551 Bastard. 23 00:01:34,801 --> 00:01:37,137 Bastard, Bastard, Bastard Bastard, Bastard, Bastard Bastard, Bastard, Bastard, 24 00:01:37,179 --> 00:01:38,763 Bastard, bastard, Ribbled, noisy, noisy... 25 00:01:38,805 --> 00:01:40,724 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4 26 00:01:40,765 --> 00:01:42,684 Noiseless, noisy, noisy... 27 00:01:42,726 --> 00:01:44,936 Suction of weeds, suction of marijuana... 28 00:01:44,978 --> 00:01:46,229 Suck cocaine, drink beer... 29 00:01:46,271 --> 00:01:48,231 Drink beer, beer, beer... 30 00:01:48,273 --> 00:01:49,983 31 00:01:50,025 --> 00:01:52,152 32 00:01:52,194 --> 00:01:54,070 Suck heroin, suck it up... 33 00:01:54,112 --> 00:01:55,906 Who sucked it up, Of course we... 34 00:01:55,947 --> 00:01:58,074 Keep sucking and suction... 35 00:01:58,116 --> 00:01:59,659 Hey, give me a packet. 36 00:01:59,701 --> 00:02:01,912 Fifteen dollars, little man Put the money in my hand... 37 00:02:01,912 --> 00:02:04,122 If there is no money, means you owe me... 38 00:02:04,464 --> 00:02:06,449 Debts to me, owes me, owes me... 39 00:02:06,450 --> 00:02:07,792 "My Jungle Love", yeah... 40 00:02:07,834 --> 00:02:09,920 Yo we yo we yo... 41 00:02:09,961 --> 00:02:11,546 I think you should know, yeah... 42 00:02:11,588 --> 00:02:14,424 Yeah, what? 43 00:02:14,466 --> 00:02:15,926 What do you sing? / You don't know "Jungle Love"? 44 00:02:15,967 --> 00:02:18,677 The song is a historical record. Written directly by God. 45 00:02:18,678 --> 00:02:22,473 46 00:02:22,474 --> 00:02:24,808 And miraculously performed on the greatest band in the world. 47 00:02:24,809 --> 00:02:26,936 Band "The Time"! 48 00:02:26,937 --> 00:02:29,813 You mean the people in the movie "Prince"? / Yes, "Purple Rain". 49 00:02:29,814 --> 00:02:32,609 Their style is like gay. With the 80's style. 50 00:02:34,027 --> 00:02:35,195 Hey! 51 00:02:35,237 --> 00:02:38,072 Never vilify about "The Time". 52 00:02:38,073 --> 00:02:40,616 Silent Bob and I were appointed as their models for life. 53 00:02:40,617 --> 00:02:42,076 Like Morris Day and Jerome. 54 00:02:42,077 --> 00:02:45,829 I'm a rich pimp who collects women. 55 00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:48,874 And this fat guy is my servant... What do you want? 56 00:02:48,875 --> 00:02:51,460 I told you two about trading in front of the shop? 57 00:02:51,461 --> 00:02:55,063 Lower the child and please sell somewhere else away from here. 58 00:02:56,466 --> 00:03:00,637 And in fact, "The Time" is a bad band. 59 00:03:00,679 --> 00:03:05,289 Yo, do you want to know the story he and his colleagues at the Quick Stop Store? 60 00:03:07,561 --> 00:03:09,520 Aren't you supposed to be not here? 61 00:03:09,521 --> 00:03:11,021 Don't start. 62 00:03:11,022 --> 00:03:15,150 Hey, can't we do something to two bastards in front of the shop every day? 63 00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:16,443 Why? What are they doing now? 64 00:03:16,444 --> 00:03:19,446 I've been watching "Clash Of The Titans" and I'm starting to understand... 65 00:03:19,447 --> 00:03:21,615 ... why they always talk about Morris Day and Jerome 66 00:03:21,616 --> 00:03:26,453 I don't think fat people talk too much. / Do I have to explain their biography? 67 00:03:26,454 --> 00:03:28,664 Hi, I took two packs. 68 00:03:28,665 --> 00:03:30,291 What about the "service"? 69 00:03:30,292 --> 00:03:31,917 What is "service"? 70 00:03:31,918 --> 00:03:34,170 Yang at the Unitarian Church last week... 71 00:03:34,171 --> 00:03:36,297 ... where you two got married. 72 00:03:36,298 --> 00:03:37,882 What are you talking about? 73 00:03:37,883 --> 00:03:39,466 Jay says your marriage party is themed "Star Wars" 74 00:03:39,467 --> 00:03:41,677 You tie a knot of clothing like "Storm Troopers". 75 00:03:41,678 --> 00:03:44,346 And he said you were the Bride, and you were the Bridegroom. 76 00:03:44,347 --> 00:03:45,890 I'm a Bride? 77 00:03:45,891 --> 00:03:47,391 If we are gay I will say that too. 78 00:03:47,392 --> 00:03:51,312 Can I shut your mouth? / Very sacred. / Honeymoon is over. 79 00:03:51,313 --> 00:03:52,646 Okay enough already. 80 00:03:52,647 --> 00:03:57,217 I will beat the two bastards which we should have done for a long time. 81 00:03:58,945 --> 00:04:01,071 What the hell, Serpico? What's wrong with us? 82 00:04:01,072 --> 00:04:05,117 We got a report, there were two people hanging out outside the store, and selling marijuana. 83 00:04:05,118 --> 00:04:09,538 We don't suck marijuana. Don't suck, huh? What is this for? 84 00:04:09,539 --> 00:04:13,918 I have a problem with cheek. I take paper from the chocolate wrapper... 85 00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:17,046 ... there's no dirt in my pants. Do not believe? Let me show you. 86 00:04:17,047 --> 00:04:19,381 Please check. Dismantling both sides... 87 00:04:19,382 --> 00:04:21,717 ... until you are satisfied to see and smell smell of gold. 88 00:04:21,718 --> 00:04:25,429 Use your pants, sir Now! 89 00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:27,431 Come along with me, you are detained. 90 00:04:27,432 --> 00:04:31,667 We finish it in the office. / Hey, is "farting" now a crime? 91 00:04:32,771 --> 00:04:34,522 Is there no other way? 92 00:04:34,523 --> 00:04:37,399 Dante and Randall evict with a restraining order? 93 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,026 Isn't that very cruel? 94 00:04:39,027 --> 00:04:40,653 So, will you obey the court decision? 95 00:04:40,654 --> 00:04:43,155 ... or you will run away as a fugitive. Like "Reynold"? 96 00:04:43,156 --> 00:04:47,409 The judge said if we dared to approach the shop ... then we would be thrown into the County. 97 00:04:47,410 --> 00:04:50,913 Do you know what you do in County? Stirring the salad. 98 00:04:50,914 --> 00:04:53,415 I think if you really want to hang out in front of a shop... 99 00:04:53,416 --> 00:04:56,502 ... you have to buy your own shop. With the money you have earned. 100 00:04:56,503 --> 00:04:58,337 That's right 101 00:04:58,338 --> 00:05:00,047 Wait a minute. What money? 102 00:05:00,048 --> 00:05:04,600 Money from making "Bluntman And Cronic Films". 103 00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:09,139 Oh, God. Don't say you don't know. 104 00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:13,435 There is a film based on the comic about you two 105 00:05:13,436 --> 00:05:15,564 What? Since when? 106 00:05:15,605 --> 00:05:17,816 This is a pulse, okay? 107 00:05:17,858 --> 00:05:19,484 And this is the index finger... 108 00:05:19,526 --> 00:05:22,237 Insert your index finger into the buttocks .. 109 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:27,157 Say, you want chocolate covered in pretzels? 110 00:05:27,158 --> 00:05:30,578 Listen, if you read the "Wizard" 111 00:05:30,579 --> 00:05:32,329 You will know the story this month. 112 00:05:32,330 --> 00:05:36,375 Read it. 113 00:05:36,376 --> 00:05:37,960 Why did this happen? 114 00:05:37,961 --> 00:05:40,296 Well, after "X-Men" became top at the box office 115 00:05:40,297 --> 00:05:42,549 Every studio starts producing films based on comic stories... 116 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,884 ... and get dirty money. 117 00:05:44,885 --> 00:05:47,553 Miramax produces Bluntman And Cronic. 118 00:05:47,554 --> 00:05:49,889 Miramax? I guess they only favor image quality. 119 00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:53,434 like "The Piano" or "The Crying Game". 120 00:05:53,435 --> 00:05:56,020 Yes, that's how it was, after they produced "She" All That ", the sales were not very good. Copy to you for the similarity of characters. 121 00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:59,565 122 00:05:59,566 --> 00:06:03,235 123 00:06:03,236 --> 00:06:05,821 We have not received a penny from filming 124 00:06:05,822 --> 00:06:11,452 Okay, I'm not a lawyer, but I think Holden and Banky owe you two. 125 00:06:11,453 --> 00:06:15,748 If I were you, I would look for Holden McNeil and request an honorarium for my Film. 126 00:06:15,749 --> 00:06:19,043 Yes, that's right We have to pay. 127 00:06:19,044 --> 00:06:21,421 And in fact, Let's sing... 128 00:06:37,437 --> 00:06:38,688 Well 129 00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:41,816 Look at these two face-faced bastards. 130 00:06:41,816 --> 00:06:44,903 It smells like dirt on a breakfast plate. 131 00:06:44,945 --> 00:06:47,656 Bong! 132 00:06:47,697 --> 00:06:49,533 Forget it. Come in! 133 00:06:49,574 --> 00:06:53,494 So, what makes the seller of illicit goods come to my cue? 134 00:06:53,495 --> 00:06:55,871 I will tell, what made us come here... 135 00:06:55,872 --> 00:06:58,040 Where is the honorarium from our film? 136 00:06:58,041 --> 00:07:00,376 Do you know? I have nothing to do with finance. 137 00:07:00,377 --> 00:07:01,919 That's a Banky deal. He is in power now. 138 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,630 I have sold half of my shares from making "Bluntman And Cronic" to him last year. 139 00:07:04,631 --> 00:07:07,132 Why did you do that? 140 00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:10,312 Why? For God's sake, I want to keep writing about characters... 141 00:07:10,313 --> 00:07:14,348 ... sucks marijuana, artisan fart, and sex crazy? 142 00:07:14,349 --> 00:07:16,934 I mean, you have to be more mature friends. 143 00:07:16,935 --> 00:07:19,000 Have you ever wanted to go forward for your own good? 144 00:07:20,230 --> 00:07:22,064 I know you are poor. 145 00:07:22,065 --> 00:07:24,108 I see it from your eyes. 146 00:07:24,109 --> 00:07:26,569 And I saw a man crying. 147 00:07:26,570 --> 00:07:27,987 He shouted, "When, God?" 148 00:07:27,988 --> 00:07:30,656 "When is my turn" 149 00:07:30,657 --> 00:07:33,325 "I am a dirty mouth and very stupid" 150 00:07:33,326 --> 00:07:36,078 "Why for so long have I been a victim of ignorance" 151 00:07:36,079 --> 00:07:38,497 "So procrastinating to get a kiss from a girl" 152 00:07:38,498 --> 00:07:41,958 "When, Lord! When? When is my turn?" 153 00:07:45,255 --> 00:07:46,673 He knows. 154 00:07:46,715 --> 00:07:51,515 I am the fool. You are a fool who gives comics... 155 00:07:51,516 --> 00:07:53,387 ... and now we can't get the honorarium from the film, no. 156 00:07:53,388 --> 00:07:54,597 Okay you're right, you're right. 157 00:07:54,598 --> 00:07:56,348 I wish I could handle it partly because... 158 00:07:56,349 --> 00:08:00,269 ... "buzz" is an indicator in this case. Making this film reap huge profits. 159 00:08:00,270 --> 00:08:01,854 What is a "buzz"? 160 00:08:01,855 --> 00:08:03,105 Buzz the internet. 161 00:08:03,106 --> 00:08:05,482 What else is "internet"? 162 00:08:05,483 --> 00:08:07,234 The internet is a communication tool... 163 00:08:07,235 --> 00:08:09,320 ... used throughout the world, where people can communicate inside it Examples of a prostitute can be shared pornography there. 164 00:08:09,321 --> 00:08:11,822 This is what we are looking for 165 00:08:11,823 --> 00:08:14,241 Poopshoot (Fart) Yeah. 166 00:08:14,242 --> 00:08:16,785 This is a site inhabited by fans of militant films... 167 00:08:16,786 --> 00:08:19,663 A sad little bastard, they live in the basement with parents Download the script 168 00:08:19,664 --> 00:08:23,083 169 00:08:23,084 --> 00:08:24,376 170 00:08:24,377 --> 00:08:29,131 And what they think is information about films and actors, they claim to insult 171 00:08:29,132 --> 00:08:33,677 But I can't explain. OK, this is about "Bluntman And Cronic" here. 172 00:08:33,678 --> 00:08:36,347 "News says Miramax will start this Friday" 173 00:08:36,348 --> 00:08:37,932 Based on comic stories 174 00:08:37,933 --> 00:08:39,517 Bluntman And Cronic. 175 00:08:39,518 --> 00:08:42,436 Friday? Damn, will it involve us in film? 176 00:08:42,437 --> 00:08:43,646 No, they are Miramax... 177 00:08:43,647 --> 00:08:47,483 ... so, definitely actors like Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. You know, Miramax has used them in several films. 178 00:08:47,484 --> 00:08:48,859 Who? 179 00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:50,361 You know, the players from "Good Will Hunting". 180 00:08:50,362 --> 00:08:53,030 Do you mean Mork films from Ork in them? 181 00:08:53,031 --> 00:08:54,573 Yes, but I'm not a fan of the film, ok 182 00:08:54,574 --> 00:08:57,243 but Affleck is a bomb in "Phantom". 183 00:08:57,244 --> 00:08:59,787 The "Phantom" cast of the bastard. 184 00:08:59,788 --> 00:09:02,540 What now? 185 00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:05,292 So, we continue. Now, this is the shoot back. 186 00:09:05,293 --> 00:09:08,671 This is where people read the news. Arguing with each other. 187 00:09:08,672 --> 00:09:10,089 For example, we have people here 188 00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:13,008 With a girl magnet call it "Wompa One" 189 00:09:13,009 --> 00:09:15,302 What stupidity does he think about "Bluntman And Cronic". 190 00:09:15,303 --> 00:09:18,138 He said, "Bluntman And Cronic and they are stupid alter ego" 191 00:09:18,139 --> 00:09:20,432 Jay and Silent Bob are lazy They are totally inappropriate have your own film 192 00:09:20,433 --> 00:09:22,518 That's the point Fuck 193 00:09:22,519 --> 00:09:24,144 Read the next one? 194 00:09:24,145 --> 00:09:25,354 The title is "They're Stupid Bastards". 195 00:09:25,355 --> 00:09:27,648 "Bluntman And Cronic the worst comic I've ever read" 196 00:09:27,649 --> 00:09:30,359 Jay and Silent Bob are stupid characters " 197 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,361 Some Stoners are making sense... 198 00:09:32,362 --> 00:09:34,947 " Third stupid couple after Cheech and Chong " 199 00:09:34,948 --> 00:09:36,490 " Or Bill and Ted " 200 00:09:36,491 --> 00:09:38,117 " Fuck Jay and Silent Bob " 201 00:09:38,118 --> 00:09:39,618 " Fuck their stupidity " 202 00:09:39,619 --> 00:09:42,663 Who dares to say that? 203 00:09:42,664 --> 00:09:44,665 A man who calls himself Magnolia Fan. 204 00:09:44,666 --> 00:09:46,333 205 00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:47,585 Alright, look at this one 206 00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:49,545 "Jay and Silent Bob are one of the joke notes" 207 00:09:49,546 --> 00:09:54,550 "The Stoners laugh at them like clowns." 208 00:09:54,551 --> 00:09:57,970 "If they are there, I will throw them with shit Because it's so stupid" 209 00:09:57,971 --> 00:09:59,847 "I'm the one who will boycott this film" 210 00:09:59,848 --> 00:10:01,056 "Who agrees?" 211 00:10:01,057 --> 00:10:02,600 And there are still around fifty posts 212 00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:05,436 People who joined Spartacus. boycott group. 213 00:10:05,437 --> 00:10:08,022 I will kill all these bastards. 214 00:10:08,023 --> 00:10:10,357 Forget it. They don't talk about you. 215 00:10:10,358 --> 00:10:12,818 They talk about Bluntman And Cronic. 216 00:10:12,819 --> 00:10:17,072 They say Jay and Silent Bob. They mention our real names. 217 00:10:17,073 --> 00:10:20,242 It doesn't matter if there are comics about us and the real version 218 00:10:20,243 --> 00:10:22,453 because nobody knows we are in real life 219 00:10:22,454 --> 00:10:23,416 Right? 220 00:10:23,417 --> 00:10:24,914 Everyone reads that nonsense thinking... 221 00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:30,753 .. Jay and Silent Bob are a couple of idiots, because of what they read from the comics of Jay And Silent Bob Maybe one night, I'm going to Lunch Box... 222 00:10:30,754 --> 00:10:33,005 ... met with some prostitutes and... 223 00:10:33,006 --> 00:10:35,090 Ooh, I want to suck your cock... 224 00:10:35,091 --> 00:10:38,052 ... and he asked, "What's your name?" 225 00:10:38,053 --> 00:10:40,137 ... and I answer, Jay and Silent Bob. Introduce? 226 00:10:40,138 --> 00:10:43,015 227 00:10:43,016 --> 00:10:48,270 Then he said, "Ow, I've read on the internet" you two are loser couples 228 00:10:48,271 --> 00:10:51,482 Then he goes and smokes someone else. 229 00:10:51,483 --> 00:10:57,947 Fuck that. We have to stop the prostitutes' children before they damage our reputation. 230 00:10:57,948 --> 00:10:59,907 First, I don't know you have a good name. 231 00:10:59,908 --> 00:11:02,618 Second, you don't have much time to stop making this film. 232 00:11:02,619 --> 00:11:07,873 Internet opens voting. And Americans have opened their voices about this film. 233 00:11:07,874 --> 00:11:12,586 If there is a Bluntman And Cronic movie, those who have read the comics must think negatively about the film 234 00:11:12,587 --> 00:11:13,879 Wait a minute, 235 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:19,844 If there is no Bluntman And Cronic movie, then there are no negative comments about Jay and Silent Bob right? 236 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:24,515 They're not talking about you, ok? They talk about fictional characters. 237 00:11:24,516 --> 00:11:27,309 Bro, bro. 238 00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:29,353 Don't you understand at all? 239 00:11:29,354 --> 00:11:36,735 So we have to stop making this film. / Yes, and will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars. 240 00:11:36,736 --> 00:11:38,863 And you two have the right to be involved in making. 241 00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,155 What did you miss? 242 00:11:40,156 --> 00:11:46,453 And it's not just me in this world who thinks that making this film isn't a bad idea since the first shoot. 243 00:11:46,454 --> 00:11:56,672 Imagine, Jay And Silent Bob's film... Which fools want to pay to watch it? 244 00:11:56,673 --> 00:12:02,553 But, because it's very urgent, I recommend that you look for Banky and request a cash check. 245 00:12:02,554 --> 00:12:05,598 Because it's a quick check to save and that's important, right? 246 00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:11,561 Hmm, that's not Holden McNeil. What matters is a bunch of bastards... 247 00:12:11,562 --> 00:12:16,942 ... even we don't know who cursed us on the internet, until we can't make love. 248 00:12:16,943 --> 00:12:20,279 Stopping filmmaking is the most important part we have to do. 249 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:23,991 So, when will filming begin? This Friday. 250 00:12:23,992 --> 00:12:29,914 If it's Tuesday, then it's our chance... 251 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,332 ... Eight days. 252 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:35,419 Hmm, in three days I think, but you're almost right... / Right. My fault 253 00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:40,716 Three days to stop making that damn film. Come on, Silent Bob... 254 00:12:40,717 --> 00:12:42,219 We go to Hollywood. 255 00:13:03,406 --> 00:13:06,574 Ticket? When has it been charged to take the bus? 256 00:13:06,826 --> 00:13:10,505 Didn't we go to a free bus every morning ? 257 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,503 How annoying, how can we not get a ride? 258 00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:20,340 Because your way is wrong. 259 00:13:21,883 --> 00:13:25,178 You have a little incentive for the driver. 260 00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,097 For example? 261 00:13:27,138 --> 00:13:30,000 Like this. -CERSIFIED HEAD FOR SPILL- 262 00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:35,396 Yes, but when they give a ride, you don't give your head, then they will kick your butt to the curb 263 00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:41,777 Of course if you don't give your head. 264 00:13:41,778 --> 00:13:46,240 Exactly. That's what makes me able to travel hundreds of miles throughout the country... 265 00:13:46,241 --> 00:13:49,869 ... I only capital drawing mouth. / Yes, but we are not gay. 266 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:57,168 Don't be pretentious. This is the new millennium. Gay, not gay, now all the same. 267 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,420 There are no more restrictions. 268 00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:03,549 This is the limit, we are here, you are there. We are not gay. 269 00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:08,053 Hey, the whole "Hitcher" did it. Do people think they want to give us a ride? 270 00:14:08,054 --> 00:14:10,055 If you get a ride, then that's what they expect. 271 00:14:10,056 --> 00:14:17,104 No matter who the driver is. What is the first chapter in the Book / Book? 272 00:14:17,105 --> 00:14:30,548 The unwritten "Road Book". 273 00:14:36,249 --> 00:14:43,273 Follow the instructions in the Book, and you can go anywhere without a long time. Excuse me You two don't need to sit in the back. One may sit next to me. 274 00:15:10,742 --> 00:15:15,577 Where did you come from? / New Jersey, we want to go to Hollywood. 275 00:15:22,003 --> 00:15:26,548 Oh, Hollywood, huh? Travel is still far away. 276 00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:29,552 Yes. Thank you for the ride. _ Doing good to others. That is the teaching of the Book. 277 00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:35,599 Do you adhere to the Book too? / I live by the teachings of the Book. Really? 278 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:41,304 Of course. Do you adhere to the teachings of the Book too? 279 00:15:41,305 --> 00:15:45,526 Since you gave a ride, then I have to... 280 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:48,612 281 00:15:48,613 --> 00:15:57,121 That sounds good, but "It's easier to say..." as the Book says, "... rather than doing" 282 00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:59,082 Will you do it? 283 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,917 Alright. 284 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:23,446 I can't believe it, It's been 5 hours, none has passed. 285 00:16:23,523 --> 00:16:26,855 Every day people go to Hollywood, stops at the studio to make films... 286 00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:30,793 But when we try, we are like being trapped in a cartoon 287 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,381 Creepy. 288 00:16:48,423 --> 00:16:51,217 It's time to solve the mystery "Hijacking Ghouls" (Passenger Ghosts). 289 00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:54,803 Take off their masks, and we see who they really are. / I don't think they are masked. 290 00:16:54,804 --> 00:16:57,890 And I don't think they are also "Hijacking Girls". 291 00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:01,060 Ghouls, idiot, not Girls 292 00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:05,147 I hope "Hijacking Girls", which is very sexy. 293 00:17:05,148 --> 00:17:07,858 Just kick them out. We have a mystery to solve. 294 00:17:07,859 --> 00:17:12,404 The mystery is, why don't we take out our pubic from our underwear... 295 00:17:12,405 --> 00:17:15,199 Take care of your mouth. Or I'll make you food for dogs .. 296 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,952 I can't stand this commotion! 297 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:20,454 Yo! 298 00:17:20,455 --> 00:17:26,126 No need to frown at the one above being below, I have a cure for that... 299 00:17:26,127 --> 00:17:27,963 We call it 300 00:17:28,004 --> 00:17:30,006 "Doobie Snacks". 301 00:17:51,486 --> 00:17:53,613 Ray and Rirent Rob. 302 00:17:59,536 --> 00:18:02,164 I think they fainted. / Good. 303 00:18:02,205 --> 00:18:03,831 What do we do with them now? 304 00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:10,087 Cut the kidney and sell it to the black market. And throw them in a dirty, ice-filled motel bathtub. 305 00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:13,550 No, no! 306 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:24,056 Do you see anything strange? Damn, I have a terrible dream. 307 00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:28,190 I'm hungry. Where can we have breakfast? 308 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:57,259 Wow, look! That's internet. Let's see if there is anything new they wrote about us and our film 309 00:18:57,260 --> 00:19:03,349 "Films about Jay and Silent Bob Who will lick the ball, because in reality they are licking balls" 310 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:08,854 Bastard. We have already replied to the post. You type, I read it. 311 00:19:08,855 --> 00:19:14,527 You bastards, will receive a reply. You are soccer lickers. 312 00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:19,114 I will rape your mother while you watch. Until you cry like a prostitute. 313 00:19:19,115 --> 00:19:23,577 After I arrived at Hollywood and met the filmmaking crew 314 00:19:23,578 --> 00:19:27,039 I will force you to eat my filth. Until I come out again, and I feed again... 315 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,251 ... and come out again, and I respond again to my filth mix your poop, force you to eat. 316 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:36,549 And from all of you to the next... Salam Love, Jay and Silent Bob. 317 00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:39,510 Eat it all, motherfucker. Now we can eat eggs A Mooby Muffins Back on the road, go to Hollywood, and stop the filmmaking crew. 318 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:43,681 No more "Bush Hair" Nuns, No more dogs. 319 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,141 320 00:19:46,142 --> 00:19:54,187 Stay focused on Honor. And don't let anything distract us. 321 00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:03,326 Damn it! 322 00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:07,431 Oh, God. Can you get a free refill with that? 323 00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:10,435 Oh, what, with this? I only use it for protection. 324 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:13,771 So that no one can hold. 325 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:16,065 Hi, I'm Justice. 326 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,119 And I really want to fuck you. 327 00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:23,570 I mean, hi. I'm Jay. And he is my life mate and death, Silent Bob. 328 00:21:23,571 --> 00:21:24,907 Nice to meet you. 329 00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:27,701 Justice, huh? That's a good name. 330 00:21:27,702 --> 00:21:29,453 Jay and Justice 331 00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,038 Sit under a tree 332 00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:34,667 Making love 333 00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:38,254 So, you come here often? / Oh, I'm not someone here. 334 00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:40,089 Me and my friends are on their way. 335 00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:41,924 Your friends? Where are they? 336 00:21:41,925 --> 00:21:46,961 Oh. Let me see. There, in the van. 337 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,452 Hi. 338 00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:11,955 I think I've filled the glass. 339 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,750 Girl, girl, girl. 340 00:22:16,751 --> 00:22:20,045 Jay and Silent Bob come here. 341 00:22:20,046 --> 00:22:22,339 Who are these people? 342 00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:25,009 This is Jay and Silent Bob. 343 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:28,804 Guys, this is Sissy, Missy, and Chrissy. This. 344 00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:31,306 Where are they from? / I met them inside. 345 00:22:31,307 --> 00:22:35,227 They need a ride. / Right, I don't think that's a good idea, Jussy. 346 00:22:35,228 --> 00:22:40,441 Of course a good idea, Juggs. Oh, God. He just called Sissy "Juggs". 347 00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:42,568 I'll handle it. Chrissy, no. 348 00:22:42,569 --> 00:22:45,070 We are still far away in the suburb, Chrissy. Don't try to act like that. 349 00:22:45,071 --> 00:22:47,323 Woman with a knife? We will split the cake or something? 350 00:22:47,324 --> 00:22:52,119 Damn, he's too plump to be killed. / Yo, he called you scoundrel. 351 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:55,498 What's wrong with you, Justice? You still remember our purpose, right? 352 00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:58,709 We still have work. / They only took a few miles. 353 00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:00,085 They won't bother on the road, I promise. 354 00:23:00,086 --> 00:23:02,922 I swear I don't know what's wrong with your brain lately. 355 00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,173 Please? 356 00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:08,344 All right, they can join. But they have to go down before we get to Boulder I Promise./ I Promise. 357 00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:10,679 Shut up. 358 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:11,889 I don't believe who you are. 359 00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:13,766 I can't believe you eat that food. 360 00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:16,727 Fast food makes women fart? 361 00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:19,355 Hey, is someone talking about farting? 362 00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:21,857 Hi, Brent. 363 00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:24,735 This is Brent. 364 00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:26,403 He came with us too. / Brent, say Chilli doesn't make women fart. 365 00:23:26,404 --> 00:23:30,407 Oh, of course not. Only Skeevy Stoners fart. 366 00:23:30,408 --> 00:23:35,204 What do you know, Homo? Wow. 3 men, 4 women, what does that mean friend? 367 00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:42,628 Festive. 368 00:23:42,629 --> 00:23:44,002 Hey, Mr. Scientist... 369 00:23:44,172 --> 00:23:47,342 370 00:23:47,384 --> 00:23:50,428 Don't spray aerosols in my eyes... 371 00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:53,765 Because of me... 372 00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:56,017 I really don't want to die... 373 00:23:57,435 --> 00:24:00,522 I'm a holy rabbit... 374 00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:05,274 Are you some kind of band group? / We are SAAC from Kansas. 375 00:24:05,275 --> 00:24:07,736 Creullty Student Againt Animal (Students Against Cruelty to Animals) 376 00:24:07,737 --> 00:24:13,742 And we are on our way to Colorado Provasik location 377 00:24:13,743 --> 00:24:16,745 What is this Whore talking about? 378 00:24:16,746 --> 00:24:18,080 Hey! 379 00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:22,668 Be careful of your language, little child. Many women are here. Huh. 380 00:24:22,669 --> 00:24:27,882 Provasik Pharmacy is a medical laboratory where they exploit animals. 381 00:24:27,883 --> 00:24:32,011 What kind of animal are we talking about here? Bears, rhinos, sheep? 382 00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:37,683 No, more like dogs, cats, rabbits, muskrats, beavers. 383 00:24:37,684 --> 00:24:39,310 Hey, even monkeys. 384 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:45,371 If we don't protect, who else? Right, Jussy? / Right, Brent. 385 00:24:50,822 --> 00:24:54,902 Okay Brent, can we talk for a while? / Yes, sure. 386 00:25:01,374 --> 00:25:04,999 Be honest, you join because you want to make love with them right? 387 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:09,924 I joined because I really love animals, stupid. 388 00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:11,217 Even sheep? 389 00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:12,384 Of course. 390 00:25:12,385 --> 00:25:14,470 Sheep are beautiful creatures. 391 00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:16,597 They are beautiful, right? 392 00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:18,182 Oh, God, yeah. 393 00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:22,686 So that means you will marry a sheep, right? / What's your problem, little boy? 394 00:25:22,687 --> 00:25:25,606 You are mentally ill and a world of perspective. 395 00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:31,237 No, you misunderstood me, Prince Valiant. I mean, if you are a ram... 396 00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:34,740 ... then you will marry a female lamb right? 397 00:25:34,741 --> 00:25:40,538 Oh. If so, I'm willing to mate with sheep. 398 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,123 That's what I meant. 399 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:46,377 Yo, this bastard said he was willing to marry a sheep! 400 00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:50,214 Wait! Not! 401 00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:52,968 Now who is stupid, Basic sheep rapist! 402 00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:06,862 What will we do now? / Shut up, I'm thinking. 403 00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:09,775 What does our destination go to Holywood? 404 00:26:09,776 --> 00:26:11,527 Where are you from? 405 00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:13,737 Yes, right. Jersey represents. 406 00:26:15,448 --> 00:26:16,866 Jersey Boy. 407 00:26:16,867 --> 00:26:19,076 What made you get here? 408 00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:23,204 We were evicted from the front of the Quick Stop Shop. Stop being a dealer or we are detained. Sucks. 409 00:26:23,205 --> 00:26:25,958 There are Silent Bob's fields and houses Since we were babies. 410 00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:28,294 Bob even lost his trip at that place. 411 00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:30,254 Really? 412 00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:33,550 Oh, I'm sure she's a lucky girl. 413 00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:39,897 Hey, fuck that fat guy. I want to tell a little. 414 00:26:39,898 --> 00:26:42,308 Oh. Sorry. 415 00:26:42,309 --> 00:26:46,103 In essence, we talked to Brodie. He told us about Bluntman And Cronic Films. 416 00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:48,438 So we went to find Holden McNeil. And he introduced us to the Internet. 417 00:26:48,439 --> 00:26:52,151 That's where we know the bastards talk about us. 418 00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:54,904 So we went to Hollywood to stop making films. 419 00:26:54,905 --> 00:26:56,113 And now we are here. 420 00:26:56,114 --> 00:26:58,949 I don't understand the point. 421 00:26:58,950 --> 00:27:01,660 That's more or less. So you like animals, huh? 422 00:27:01,661 --> 00:27:02,828 Sure. 423 00:27:02,829 --> 00:27:05,998 That's cool. Even snakes? / You can't exclude animals Only because it can't be carried. Of course I also like snakes. 424 00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:08,792 What about snake pants? / Ooh. Is that snake pants? 425 00:27:08,793 --> 00:27:12,671 What am I waiting for? If it is already standing... 426 00:27:17,385 --> 00:27:20,804 ... open your zipper, and remove it from your pants, stupid 427 00:27:20,805 --> 00:27:23,599 Women like that. 428 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,101 429 00:27:27,938 --> 00:27:32,358 Angels should appear, and tell you to re-enter your bird... 430 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:36,820 ... but we slap your angel, and send him to hell. To run smoothly Let him adventure, man !. 431 00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:38,490 Jesus loves little children. Sorry, I'm late... 432 00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:49,708 So what happened here? 433 00:27:49,709 --> 00:27:52,670 Oh, shit. Don't say you thought to get your bird out in front of this cute girl 434 00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:58,843 Tell you what. Ask for Silent Bob's opinion what removing birds is a good idea. 435 00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:05,823 That's what I mean, friend. Sleep your bird again. You must follow your heart, yo! 436 00:28:07,018 --> 00:28:12,155 There is no pervert for now. Calemlah. Be "Don Juan De La Nooch" 437 00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:18,816 438 00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:22,907 I have to go beat two prostitutes the pubic sucker earlier. Remember! 439 00:28:22,912 --> 00:28:30,414 Don't remove your bird unless he asks. Or if he falls asleep. Goodbye 440 00:28:33,044 --> 00:28:34,336 Don't ask. 441 00:28:34,337 --> 00:28:37,590 So what we can do for helps you save animals 442 00:28:37,591 --> 00:28:41,385 I'm not sure you can help us. 443 00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:46,724 What do you mean, of course I want to. I am willing to do anything for you 444 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:51,020 I mean all of you. For the sake of all of you. Even if it's just a poop. 445 00:28:51,021 --> 00:28:52,688 Okay... 446 00:28:52,689 --> 00:28:55,691 I'll talk first with my friends. Then I go back to you. 447 00:28:55,692 --> 00:28:58,695 Hurry up. I am faithfully waiting for you here. 448 00:29:14,628 --> 00:29:16,171 Fuck you fat! 449 00:29:33,813 --> 00:29:35,065 Thank you. 450 00:29:35,148 --> 00:29:36,274 Wow. 451 00:29:36,290 --> 00:29:38,609 Do you want something inside? 452 00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:41,087 No, just take it easy./ Nothing? OK 453 00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:11,684 Very uncomfortable. This place is worse than the Quick Stop store 454 00:30:11,685 --> 00:30:18,482 Speaking of "licking", what about Juctice? He is very smooth. The aura is amazing. 455 00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:23,571 His voice is sweet. And his body... 456 00:30:23,572 --> 00:30:29,451 If he gives me the chance to sleep with him just once. I will remove it like pepper spray. 457 00:30:29,452 --> 00:30:33,539 You know Lunch Box. Maybe he is right there. 458 00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:38,043 A smooth step, Justice. Your work is good. Four eyes. 459 00:30:38,044 --> 00:30:41,046 Why did you let that little bastard throw Brent out of the van? 460 00:30:41,047 --> 00:30:45,217 I beg you, if I see the idiot again, I will throw him away myself. 461 00:30:45,218 --> 00:30:49,930 We need Brent, Justice. For our feedback, remember? / Then just look for it instead. 462 00:30:49,931 --> 00:30:52,349 After all why don't you ban Jay when throwing him out. 463 00:30:52,350 --> 00:30:56,145 Because I don't want our disguises to be open. / Disguise? Just say you hate the attitude. 464 00:30:56,146 --> 00:30:59,190 It's not like I hate you. We're a team, Justice. 465 00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:02,067 I'm the Brain, Chrissy Muscle, and Missy Technology. 466 00:31:02,068 --> 00:31:07,072 But I'm confused, what are you here for? / His name is not in tune with us. 467 00:31:07,073 --> 00:31:11,035 Because you let them get rid of Brent. Then the two of them are in their place. 468 00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:14,246 They must go to Provasik. Don't! 469 00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:17,166 Don't? Tell them or you're out of the team, Justice. 470 00:31:17,167 --> 00:31:21,712 It only takes a little seduction to convince them because they've been crazy about you. 471 00:31:21,713 --> 00:31:24,757 Jay? You're mistaken. / Do you think I'm blind? 472 00:31:24,758 --> 00:31:28,302 He kissed your hand in the van as if he were "Lord Byron"? 473 00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:32,389 Or maybe because of manners. 474 00:31:32,390 --> 00:31:37,061 Yo, honey, has your ass been licked by a fat guy wearing a coat? 475 00:31:37,062 --> 00:31:38,562 Yeeaaahh. 476 00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:41,732 When we are just 2 hours away to Boulder. Enough time for you to talk to them. 477 00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:45,569 I don't want to. / Why? Because he is very innocent. 478 00:31:45,570 --> 00:31:47,409 Look at him. 479 00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:51,910 Then who else, Jussy? He or us? 480 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,540 Steal a monkey? Okay, it's not a problem. 481 00:31:57,541 --> 00:32:01,043 Not stealing, I mean to free him. 482 00:32:01,044 --> 00:32:03,462 Wait a minute. 483 00:32:03,463 --> 00:32:07,341 Did you say "no problem"? / Right, we can steal monkeys every day. 484 00:32:07,342 --> 00:32:08,552 Isn't that right, Lunch Box? 485 00:32:10,428 --> 00:32:14,640 Well, that's not a sin. I mean, the goal is good. 486 00:32:14,641 --> 00:32:20,229 Oh, that's the best reason to be able to make love. 487 00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:21,814 Snoogans (Very soft.) 488 00:32:21,815 --> 00:32:24,608 What does that mean? / What does it mean? / Snoogans in what sense? 489 00:32:24,609 --> 00:32:26,277 Snoogans, that's definitely... 490 00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:31,904 Don't think about things, I'm just joking. / Ow, it's a shame. 491 00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:46,839 I can't believe, I can make love just by stealing monkeys. 492 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:51,802 If I know that easily, I will steal a monkey for the rest of my life Don't try to ruin my plan. 493 00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:54,180 Justice and I will get married someday. Don't say "Oh, don't steal a monkey" 494 00:32:54,181 --> 00:32:59,143 I'm Morris Day, you're Jerome. Do not forget it. 495 00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:01,979 The girl fell in love with me. 496 00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:05,316 They will do it. 497 00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:07,151 Good. They do their job, and we do our duty. 498 00:33:07,152 --> 00:33:26,086 Okay, remember. We gather here again if you are done. 499 00:33:26,087 --> 00:33:29,089 Are you sure you want to do it? As sure as you are the sexiest "Bitch" (prostitute) I have ever seen. / Fuck! 500 00:33:29,090 --> 00:33:33,635 501 00:33:33,636 --> 00:33:34,678 Calm the Female Tiger. 502 00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:40,392 What's with this "Bitch"? Because women don't like to be called "Bitch", Jay 503 00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:42,394 Really? 504 00:33:42,395 --> 00:33:45,523 What about "Semok Bumps"? / Neither does it. 505 00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:51,862 So what do I have to call you? / Yes, loving, stupid, sweet. 506 00:33:51,863 --> 00:33:53,031 Boo-Boo Kitty Fuck? 507 00:33:54,282 --> 00:33:57,701 OK, that's an introduction. 508 00:33:57,702 --> 00:34:01,831 Jay, before you can say to the camera something about CLITORIS? 509 00:34:01,832 --> 00:34:06,043 You're a jerk! / Shut up Justice. He is rather awkward. 510 00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:10,089 Listen, me and Jussy will save this recording for Human Sexuality lessons... 511 00:34:10,090 --> 00:34:12,883 ... and we need men's knowledge about CLITORIS. 512 00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:16,262 CLITORIS women? / Of course. 513 00:34:16,263 --> 00:34:19,056 Jay, you don't need to do this. / It's okay, it's cool, honey. 514 00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:25,062 I can explain a little about CLITORIS. I want you to hear it. 515 00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:28,899 I am a Master from CLIT. Look and remember my face. 516 00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:31,360 Wherever you see CLIT, You will remember my face. 517 00:34:31,361 --> 00:34:35,156 I operate CLIT. Nobody can but me. 518 00:34:35,157 --> 00:34:38,409 None of you can of you sitting there. 519 00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:44,623 I'm the CLIT Commander. If I intervene, it will be like this... 520 00:34:44,624 --> 00:34:49,920 Kucubit you little bastard. Then I rub it into my nose. 521 00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:52,590 Awesome. Days to death. 522 00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:54,926 Ow, Clear. / Friend. 523 00:34:56,595 --> 00:35:04,935 So, can I get a little kiss for luck? 524 00:35:04,936 --> 00:35:09,273 Can I get "naked dance" for luck? 525 00:35:09,274 --> 00:35:12,059 No, now. / Fuck. 526 00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:19,396 Don't make me wait, motherfucker! 527 00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:34,799 Jussy, come on. 528 00:36:10,877 --> 00:36:13,755 Are they in? You could say that Time for action. Fast. 529 00:36:13,797 --> 00:36:15,924 You're too gay. 530 00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:14,024 Once you reach the top, don't make a sound. Missy, this machine detects our sound level. 531 00:37:20,363 --> 00:37:26,076 If it's red, die us. Don't make a sound, you understand? 532 00:37:26,077 --> 00:37:30,539 I understand. Good. 533 00:37:30,540 --> 00:37:31,708 Meow. 534 00:37:33,919 --> 00:37:35,420 Justice, hurry up! 535 00:37:41,468 --> 00:37:43,553 Whoa. 536 00:38:05,867 --> 00:38:07,035 537 00:38:07,077 --> 00:38:14,363 Look at this "Lunch Box", animal tranquilizer. Can make you like garbage. Hold it please 538 00:38:16,461 --> 00:38:23,480 Save this, I'll use it to shoot Justice and hit him. Like guinea pigs. 539 00:38:45,198 --> 00:38:46,908 Suzanne. 540 00:38:48,869 --> 00:38:50,078 Oh yeah. 541 00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:45,175 Ah 542 00:40:51,616 --> 00:40:54,286 Fuck! Two little bastards are right! 543 00:40:54,327 --> 00:40:56,037 Jesus. 544 00:41:00,292 --> 00:41:02,751 Run, Escape! 545 00:41:06,464 --> 00:41:07,841 Fast! 546 00:41:08,884 --> 00:41:12,553 Months of plan, broken! Just because it's farting, damn it. 547 00:41:12,554 --> 00:41:15,681 Don't leave them here. Police will arrive soon. 548 00:41:15,682 --> 00:41:18,225 That's the plan, Justice. They will hold the police for a long time... 549 00:41:18,226 --> 00:41:20,439 ... until we can get out of town. / But 550 00:41:24,900 --> 00:41:26,693 Give a little touch to them. 551 00:41:27,694 --> 00:41:29,613 Let's go! Set it up! 552 00:41:29,654 --> 00:41:30,864 Whoo! Ouch! 553 00:41:30,906 --> 00:41:32,199 Alright! 554 00:41:42,709 --> 00:41:46,504 What did you see? There is no food here. 555 00:41:46,505 --> 00:41:49,257 We have got what we want. Let's leave here. 556 00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:56,304 Yeah, I know it's very sad. But what can we do? 557 00:42:05,815 --> 00:42:08,735 Yow! Open the door! 558 00:42:10,403 --> 00:42:12,364 Oh, shit. 559 00:42:19,579 --> 00:42:22,457 Lower the package! Now! 560 00:42:50,402 --> 00:42:51,653 No 561 00:42:53,572 --> 00:42:54,865 Justice. 562 00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:03,373 Justice! 563 00:43:23,810 --> 00:43:25,770 Can I leave this here? 564 00:43:32,319 --> 00:43:34,654 Who let the cat out? 565 00:43:36,615 --> 00:43:37,782 Excuse me. 566 00:43:37,824 --> 00:43:39,993 Who are you? 567 00:43:40,035 --> 00:43:43,370 Federal Wildlife of Marshall. This case is in my power. 568 00:43:43,371 --> 00:43:47,500 Really? What's the reason? / Because there are parties releasing animals out of their cages, sir! 569 00:43:47,501 --> 00:43:52,379 That's just a diversion tactic. Actual theft occurs at the Diamond Stock Exchange 570 00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:57,905 Yes, right. Like a movie scenario. And only in bad movies. 571 00:43:59,554 --> 00:44:00,722 Mr. 572 00:44:00,764 --> 00:44:07,603 Officer Provasik says, all animals have been captured. Except one, orangutan. 573 00:44:07,604 --> 00:44:10,648 The most dangerous animal Living on earth. 574 00:44:10,649 --> 00:44:14,819 Sir, this could be evidence to take to the office. / What is that? 575 00:44:14,820 --> 00:44:17,279 A recording of terrorists responsible for this damage. 576 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:18,697 Do you have a video player? 577 00:44:18,698 --> 00:44:21,200 I'm the CLIT Commander. 578 00:44:21,201 --> 00:44:23,994 Oh, God. 579 00:44:23,995 --> 00:44:25,871 Plaschke, Willenholly. 580 00:44:25,872 --> 00:44:30,291 I want you to invite me On Air in national news. Why?! 581 00:44:30,292 --> 00:44:35,587 Because we are dealing with two of the most dangerous people on the planet. 582 00:44:43,431 --> 00:44:45,809 This is a Jussy monkey. 583 00:44:48,353 --> 00:44:51,016 Justice died for you, jerk monkey! 584 00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:55,110 Do something, fat. 585 00:44:58,029 --> 00:45:01,306 Damn it. Is he waving to us? 586 00:45:02,909 --> 00:45:08,871 Damn, he knows what we mean. Maybe he is a Super Monkey. 587 00:45:13,879 --> 00:45:19,315 You're fat fucking. You are my right hand. Don't side with the monkey. 588 00:45:33,356 --> 00:45:36,108 What if there are still Super Monkeys in the lab? 589 00:45:36,109 --> 00:45:38,777 Maybe they are forming a Monkey Army there. 590 00:45:38,778 --> 00:45:43,240 Damn, Maybe this is a conspiracy, as in "The X-Files" 591 00:45:43,241 --> 00:45:47,620 "Roswell" style 592 00:45:47,621 --> 00:45:55,164 These little monkeys will be responsible for the extinction of humanity. 593 00:45:55,165 --> 00:46:01,926 The world is crazy, not us who slapped monkeys but the monkey slapped us. 594 00:46:01,927 --> 00:46:07,973 I shouldn't be here. After they beat humans... 595 00:46:07,974 --> 00:46:14,605 ... these monkeys will wear our clothes. And realize the world of their dreams. 596 00:46:14,606 --> 00:46:23,322 When they become super smart, someone like me can only cry bitterly. Damn you guys! 597 00:46:23,323 --> 00:46:24,741 Fuck you guys! 598 00:46:24,783 --> 00:46:29,405 Go all of you to hell! 599 00:46:31,039 --> 00:46:36,845 Damn. It can't happen, motherfucker. You are a Super Monkey! 600 00:46:42,717 --> 00:46:48,486 Okay, you still allow me to live. Meanwhile. 601 00:46:49,558 --> 00:46:53,850 You see that monkey likes me. Let's find something to eat. 602 00:46:56,189 --> 00:46:59,650 We can't carry it. We must go to Holywood right away. 603 00:46:59,651 --> 00:47:06,490 After all, no one will know if we stole it. Fat guy. 604 00:47:06,491 --> 00:47:09,661 I'm Reg Hartner in Exclusive News Now Bulletin (Exclusive News) 605 00:47:09,703 --> 00:47:14,915 Animals for experimental materials in Boulder Prov. are the center of attacks by terrorists .. 606 00:47:14,916 --> 00:47:20,796 ... primate race liberation, which calls itself Coalition of the Liberation of Itinerant Tree 607 00:47:20,797 --> 00:47:23,132 ... increased C.L.I.T. 608 00:47:23,133 --> 00:47:25,259 In a videotape sent to the authorities this morning... 609 00:47:25,260 --> 00:47:28,672 ... authentic proof of orangutan release from the overnight lab 610 00:47:28,673 --> 00:47:35,394 ... motivated by this person. Based on the identification of the record they are known as Jay and Silent Bob. 611 00:47:35,395 --> 00:47:41,484 This recording proves that they really move the CLIT We are C.L.I. Q. Don't hope you will be safe. You may be afraid, because we will not forgive. 612 00:47:41,485 --> 00:47:45,529 I am Commander C.L.I.T.! 613 00:47:45,530 --> 00:47:47,740 Terrible. 614 00:47:47,741 --> 00:47:49,742 Present here to explain us about this recording. Head of the Federal Wildlife of Marshall, Willenholy. 615 00:47:49,743 --> 00:47:51,535 is Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly. 616 00:47:51,536 --> 00:47:53,579 Marshall Willenholly, Thank you for being here. 617 00:47:53,580 --> 00:47:55,289 618 00:47:55,290 --> 00:47:58,709 In essence, what do you know about C.L.I.T.? 619 00:47:58,710 --> 00:48:05,382 From the sources, we have concluded that CLIT is an organizational branch of L.A.B.I.A 620 00:48:05,383 --> 00:48:08,969 Movement for Freeing Apes Before Imposing Apes. / Right 621 00:48:08,970 --> 00:48:14,850 The two men in the recording have names bright Jay and Silent Bob If you meet them or other CLIT members, please be extra careful. 622 00:48:14,851 --> 00:48:21,065 I already said that holding them back was the best idea. 623 00:48:21,066 --> 00:48:24,068 What do you think we should do to prevent CLIT? 624 00:48:24,069 --> 00:48:28,239 A difficult situation. If we deal with CLIT the wrong way... 625 00:48:28,240 --> 00:48:31,659 Tonight, I want to date a lesbian. 626 00:48:31,660 --> 00:48:35,079 627 00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:36,622 What is the sound of your cellphone sir? 628 00:48:36,623 --> 00:48:42,378 Plaschke. Hold them. I'll be there soon. Hit! 629 00:48:42,379 --> 00:48:47,758 Now they are in Utah. Utah residents are prohibited from vigilante 630 00:48:47,759 --> 00:48:52,429 You succeeded. Jay, Bob and CLIT made headlines. 631 00:48:52,430 --> 00:48:56,976 There is no news about diamond theft. / I said two perfect bait. 632 00:48:56,977 --> 00:49:00,771 Don't you regret it? Jay and Silent Bob don't deserve it. They are very innocent I'm sorry for not getting a hurricane on my vitals. like fish playing with crabs. 633 00:49:00,772 --> 00:49:07,778 I don't understand, Justice. We are all destined to be like this... 634 00:49:07,779 --> 00:49:09,071 635 00:49:09,072 --> 00:49:10,906 You used to be all about this girl 636 00:49:10,907 --> 00:49:15,494 ... steal, dance, blow birds. You look like you are under stress. 637 00:49:15,495 --> 00:49:18,497 Very deviant. / One day we will grow up. 638 00:49:18,498 --> 00:49:21,333 Even though obedient children have a broken future when he grows up... 639 00:49:21,334 --> 00:49:24,170 ... if I prefer to use Costume Wonder Woman. 640 00:49:24,171 --> 00:49:26,130 Here it comes Marvelous Pizza is coming! Hey! 641 00:49:26,131 --> 00:49:28,632 Hi./ You ordered Pizza? 642 00:49:28,633 --> 00:49:35,306 He ordered a big one. I prefer the Hot Sicilia. 643 00:49:35,307 --> 00:49:36,640 Don't pay. 644 00:49:36,641 --> 00:49:38,185 Fast! 645 00:49:43,815 --> 00:49:45,442 I'm sorry, Jay. 646 00:49:49,321 --> 00:49:56,657 Justice died to save this monkey. We must take care of him, in memory of his death. 647 00:49:59,539 --> 00:50:05,461 We're here to eat. Do not be afraid. The police won't chase us. 648 00:50:05,462 --> 00:50:08,631 As I said... Fuck the police... 649 00:50:08,632 --> 00:50:10,883 Bastard, fuck... Fuck the police... 650 00:50:10,884 --> 00:50:12,968 Yo, yo, fuck the police... 651 00:50:12,969 --> 00:50:14,762 Bastard, fuck... Fuck the police... 652 00:50:14,763 --> 00:50:15,971 Yo, they are all bastards... 653 00:50:15,972 --> 00:50:21,352 This is the Utah State Police. We know you are inside. 654 00:50:21,353 --> 00:50:26,982 Get out and raise your hands. And give up the orangutan. 655 00:50:26,983 --> 00:50:28,985 Are they talking to us? 656 00:50:34,199 --> 00:50:35,534 Sorry. 657 00:50:35,575 --> 00:50:36,909 Don't shoot. 658 00:50:36,910 --> 00:50:38,244 Hold your shot. 659 00:50:38,245 --> 00:50:44,166 Who are you? / Federal Wildlife of Marshall. Are there monkeys there? / Monkey. / What? 660 00:50:44,167 --> 00:50:46,669 Orangutans are a type of great ape. Not a monkey. 661 00:50:46,670 --> 00:50:50,680 Who is the Federal Wildlife of Marshall here? Me or you? That is what I mean. 662 00:50:50,681 --> 00:50:52,005 Can I borrow for a while? 663 00:50:55,220 --> 00:50:59,890 Jay and Silent Bob. Your CLIT won't work. 664 00:50:59,891 --> 00:51:06,226 No one can take a monkey hostage All lay down, we are ready to shoot. 665 00:51:07,065 --> 00:51:12,236 What are you waiting for? Exit and submit this moyet. 666 00:51:12,237 --> 00:51:15,072 Listen, nothing bad will happen in the Lab... 667 00:51:15,073 --> 00:51:20,244 Maybe they are experimenting with monkeys to make them better, who knows? 668 00:51:20,245 --> 00:51:24,081 Get out the whiny monkey. Damn, there's no way out. 669 00:51:24,082 --> 00:51:28,589 You're the cause of all this. My mind has reached a dead end 670 00:51:31,590 --> 00:51:32,923 Boys. 671 00:51:32,924 --> 00:51:34,300 Don't shoot! 672 00:51:34,301 --> 00:51:35,969 Don't shoot! 673 00:51:37,554 --> 00:51:42,725 We only pick up our children from places that are not friendly. / Their children? 674 00:51:42,726 --> 00:51:46,479 Maybe they are gay couples. / Right, we are gay couples. 675 00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:50,274 We adopt this child. We're not the original people here. 676 00:51:50,275 --> 00:51:56,322 Don't let us go home there is news of the violence that we experienced while we were in Utah God, this is what I hate. Homosexual couples who spread issues to the media... 677 00:51:56,323 --> 00:52:02,786 678 00:52:02,787 --> 00:52:08,000 ... that Federal Wildlife Marshall is persecuting Gay. / Are you crazy? Maybe they are gay But it's not their child. It is an ape. I think I better recognize the intended ape, OK? 679 00:52:08,001 --> 00:52:13,255 And for now, I don't want to break the law and let this "Brady Bunch" go. 680 00:52:13,256 --> 00:52:22,350 You are free to leave, sir. 681 00:52:25,519 --> 00:52:27,479 Yes, you two. / So we can go? / Yes. 682 00:52:29,481 --> 00:52:32,983 Sorry for holding you back. However you are protected by the Constitution Unbelievable. / Add to me, the kid is handsome, as handsome as you. 683 00:52:32,984 --> 00:52:39,949 Of course. Derived from my sperm. I slept with a woman of our friend .. 684 00:52:39,950 --> 00:52:45,704 685 00:52:45,705 --> 00:52:50,251 686 00:52:50,252 --> 00:52:53,529 ... I enter from the side. So we are not fully gay But this husband, he is 100% gay. He really likes birds. 687 00:52:53,530 --> 00:52:58,384 That sounds very satisfying. Goodbye. 688 00:52:58,385 --> 00:53:03,679 Actually it's not my job, but it will sin if separates happy family. 689 00:53:09,479 --> 00:53:14,024 All right, we just throw the tear tears into the restaurant, Catch the one who came out carrying the monkey... 690 00:53:14,025 --> 00:53:19,196 Fuck! Are they not? 691 00:53:19,197 --> 00:53:21,991 I said you like birds. I'm a genius. 692 00:53:21,992 --> 00:53:27,420 Run away, fat ass, run! 693 00:53:31,209 --> 00:53:33,461 Get in a ditch! 694 00:53:41,261 --> 00:53:43,221 It's time to dive! 695 00:53:47,392 --> 00:53:48,894 You're a fat asshole. 696 00:53:58,403 --> 00:54:00,779 Shoot the round ass. 697 00:54:00,780 --> 00:54:03,867 698 00:54:05,118 --> 00:54:10,306 Hold your breath! Think you're skinny. Ready to fire at the ass. 699 00:54:10,415 --> 00:54:14,017 Hold your breath! Enter into! 700 00:54:23,136 --> 00:54:25,472 You're like "Winnie the Pooh". 701 00:54:30,477 --> 00:54:35,437 How to escape which is very amazing. Okay, this is our agreement. 702 00:54:35,438 --> 00:54:37,274 You are waiting here. 703 00:54:37,275 --> 00:54:40,820 I corner them, I call you for help. 704 00:54:40,821 --> 00:54:46,739 I'm counting on you, Sheriff. You gave me lots of lessons. 705 00:54:57,170 --> 00:55:04,256 Fuck him. We go back to the office and drink Cola I won't give up at all! I swear to God! 706 00:55:07,931 --> 00:55:11,975 Hand over the monkey and raise your hand! 707 00:55:11,976 --> 00:55:16,940 Hurry or shoot me! Don't think I don't dare. 708 00:55:17,941 --> 00:55:22,528 709 00:55:22,529 --> 00:55:29,118 Listen, he doesn't want to go back to the lab. And incidentally, I'm not gay. 710 00:55:29,119 --> 00:55:34,456 And in fact, in fact he is not really a human child. 711 00:55:34,457 --> 00:55:41,672 In fact, he likes "birds" / Kneel "Texas Pete". Hurry up! 712 00:55:41,673 --> 00:55:47,720 Damn, he thinks we're like circus seals. I'm the first person who refuses to be kissed by a monkey. 713 00:55:47,721 --> 00:55:51,307 Instead of licking a monkey's spit. What are you talking about? 714 00:55:51,308 --> 00:55:53,684 Listen! Nobody was told to lick... 715 00:55:55,645 --> 00:55:56,855 Damn it! 716 00:55:58,231 --> 00:55:59,858 Wow! 717 00:55:59,900 --> 00:56:01,526 These people are very brave. 718 00:56:01,568 --> 00:56:02,819 Very brave. 719 00:56:09,701 --> 00:56:11,703 Hey, dog infestation! 720 00:56:13,205 --> 00:56:14,331 Hey! 721 00:56:14,372 --> 00:56:18,210 See you in hell, sucker "bird"! 722 00:56:18,210 --> 00:56:20,337 Bastard! 723 00:56:20,378 --> 00:56:22,839 Aah! 724 00:56:44,402 --> 00:56:49,521 Hey! Lower the monkey! That's a monkey from my ex-boyfriend! 725 00:56:50,534 --> 00:56:52,077 Hey! 726 00:56:52,118 --> 00:56:53,995 The monkey doesn't belong to you! 727 00:57:01,253 --> 00:57:05,381 Only a jerk who wants to steal a monkey? 728 00:57:05,757 --> 00:57:07,300 Oh, yes. 729 00:57:07,342 --> 00:57:11,637 A blow to me. We were staying one day to stop this film. 730 00:57:11,638 --> 00:57:19,311 And he just took the only legacy from the woman I love before feeling in my pants 731 00:57:19,312 --> 00:57:23,772 What, chasing the monkey? Even we don't know where the car is going. 732 00:57:25,485 --> 00:57:27,070 What's the point? 733 00:57:29,990 --> 00:57:31,741 You stirred the dirt. 734 00:57:32,951 --> 00:57:34,369 No, no, You stirred the salad. 735 00:57:35,537 --> 00:57:36,954 What did you explain? 736 00:57:36,955 --> 00:57:42,168 Say !. Don't make me wonder. You can hear me say every time... 737 00:57:42,169 --> 00:57:45,045 ... but you yourself don't want to open your mouth, like Ok Jay, I don't agree... 738 00:57:45,046 --> 00:57:48,257 or "Yo, these cheese fries taste good" 739 00:57:49,634 --> 00:57:51,636 Just say it! 740 00:57:53,263 --> 00:57:59,499 The sign on the back of the car reads "CREATURE OF HOLYWOOD" 741 00:57:59,541 --> 00:58:01,939 How stupid you are! 742 00:58:05,901 --> 00:58:08,612 I say "Say", not "Shout" 743 00:58:10,155 --> 00:58:15,573 In addition to me, the child is handsome, as handsome as you. 744 00:58:20,291 --> 00:58:23,335 This is the "Wildlife Expert" 745 00:58:24,794 --> 00:58:26,378 There is a Fax shipment from your office. 746 00:58:26,379 --> 00:58:34,723 That person sent a post on an internet page signed by "Jay and Silent Bob" 747 00:58:34,724 --> 00:58:39,683 "You bastards, will receive a reply. You guys are soccer lickers." 748 00:58:39,684 --> 00:58:42,477 "I will rape your mother while you watch. Until you cry like a prostitute" 749 00:58:42,478 --> 00:58:45,357 "After I arrived at Holywood and met..." 750 00:58:46,608 --> 00:58:48,859 They are headed for Hollywood. 751 00:59:11,967 --> 00:59:15,511 What's wrong? Don't be cheated. Justice has died exploding. 752 00:59:15,512 --> 00:59:19,682 OK, this is our plan. First we find out where the shooting is. 753 00:59:19,683 --> 00:59:28,342 After that, we look for the monkey. Previously, we had to find people who knew the Hollywood area. 754 00:59:28,343 --> 00:59:31,569 Heroin? Do you want to buy? Drives you up. 755 00:59:31,570 --> 00:59:35,437 No. Do you want to buy marijuana? / What is your job? 756 00:59:35,438 --> 00:59:39,660 Right! Local Jersey 404. 757 00:59:39,661 --> 00:59:40,911 Ho, ho, man! 758 00:59:40,912 --> 00:59:44,582 Pumpkin Escobar, Los Angeles Local 305. 759 00:59:44,583 --> 00:59:48,586 Oh, shit! How are you? / The world is narrow. 760 00:59:48,587 --> 00:59:52,298 Hey, can I ask? Are there rehabilitation treatments in Jersey? 761 00:59:52,299 --> 00:59:55,551 There is no news yet. May be held in September. 762 00:59:55,552 --> 00:59:59,387 Oh "Norma Rae" cheater? / Maybe you can help us. 763 00:59:59,388 --> 01:00:01,140 Do you know where ordinary people are shooting? 764 01:00:01,141 --> 01:00:06,145 You ask us, in Hollywood you have to be more specific. 765 01:00:06,146 --> 01:00:10,591 Studio Miramax. Because of "buzz". People defame us on the internet. 766 01:00:10,592 --> 01:00:14,058 Although they are not talking about us, but character building is based on us. 767 01:00:14,059 --> 01:00:19,218 On the other hand, we are looking for a monkey inherited from an ex-girlfriend who died in a car explosion. 768 01:00:19,219 --> 01:00:25,206 Honestly, I don't understand what you are talking about. But you are special people... 769 01:00:25,207 --> 01:00:29,251 ... come here and touch my heart. 770 01:00:29,252 --> 01:00:32,755 So I'll give you a clue. Give the map, Scott. 771 01:00:32,756 --> 01:00:34,298 Give the map, Scott! 772 01:00:34,299 --> 01:00:37,534 Do you know where Miramax is? / Miramax? 773 01:00:37,535 --> 01:00:41,349 I put 70% of my business in Miramax. 774 01:00:43,350 --> 01:00:45,851 Is Hollywood ready for Jay and Silent Bob? 775 01:00:45,852 --> 01:00:49,479 The Widllife Marshall Federal Office told us 776 01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:55,361 A post was taken from an internet chat page which was allegedly posted by two local terrorists. 777 01:00:55,362 --> 01:00:57,655 Surprisingly, the next target is Holywood. 778 01:00:57,656 --> 01:01:01,534 Jules Asner is currently in at Miramax Studios. Jules? 779 01:01:01,535 --> 01:01:07,258 Steve, one day after the recent Tinseltown terror, Office of the Federal Wildlife Marshall found out... 780 01:01:07,259 --> 01:01:11,460 ... that terrorist Jay and Silent Bob are targeting Studio Miramax... 781 01:01:11,461 --> 01:01:15,297 ... for bloodshed, violence and theft of monkeys. 782 01:01:15,298 --> 01:01:18,551 In a post taken 783 01:01:18,552 --> 01:01:21,262 The threat of two terrible people which I quoted. 784 01:01:21,263 --> 01:01:24,056 "After we went to Hollywood and met the Miramax Crew" 785 01:01:24,057 --> 01:01:25,891 "-sensor- that makes" 786 01:01:25,892 --> 01:01:27,393 "Bluntman And Cronic Film" 787 01:01:27,394 --> 01:01:29,895 "We will force you to eat -ensensor-" 788 01:01:29,896 --> 01:01:33,022 "we, then we respond again with their -densensor" 789 01:01:33,023 --> 01:01:37,192 "Which consists of our -disensor- and their -disensor" 790 01:01:37,193 --> 01:01:39,864 "and force you to eat it". Quotation mark. 791 01:01:39,865 --> 01:01:43,659 So far we haven't received a statement from anyone from the studio. 792 01:01:43,660 --> 01:01:46,203 There are no signs of Jay and Silent Bob? 793 01:01:46,204 --> 01:01:50,374 There are no signs. But no one knows a bit... 794 01:01:50,375 --> 01:01:55,212 ... like Jay and Silent Bob. For that, we are in the parking lot. 795 01:01:55,213 --> 01:01:57,756 Damn! / Jules, Reportedly Ben Affleck and Matt Damon... 796 01:01:57,757 --> 01:02:00,926 ... is filming in the parking lot. Do you see them? 797 01:02:00,927 --> 01:02:02,387 No, Steve, but... 798 01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:05,140 Fuck. 799 01:02:15,734 --> 01:02:16,943 OK. 800 01:02:16,985 --> 01:02:20,237 He has access. Let him enter 801 01:02:21,031 --> 01:02:24,326 We have to play well. 802 01:02:34,753 --> 01:02:38,215 Hey! You don't have access! 803 01:02:57,776 --> 01:03:01,328 I hate Hollywood falsehood. Where do you want to run? 804 01:03:01,363 --> 01:03:02,697 Let me go! 805 01:03:04,533 --> 01:03:06,326 Don't. 806 01:03:06,368 --> 01:03:11,212 Monitor, here catch 10-07. Two intruders, asking for help. 807 01:03:11,289 --> 01:03:15,376 I guess the code is 10-82. / Not, is the code for "The Disappearance of the Body of a Prostitute" 808 01:03:15,377 --> 01:03:19,505 The film trailer is Ben Affleck./ Ooh, the Affleck. Help slid. 809 01:03:19,506 --> 01:03:23,801 Hey, we made a deal. He sucked "your bird". Then release us. 810 01:03:23,802 --> 01:03:28,013 Unlike you two, Not everything here is homosexual What about this agreement? He will suck "my bar" and you look while masturbation 811 01:03:28,014 --> 01:03:34,645 Agree. 812 01:03:34,646 --> 01:03:36,273 Make as little as possible. 813 01:03:37,732 --> 01:03:40,651 Do your best or choose a prison. 814 01:03:40,652 --> 01:03:42,153 And you know what they do in prison I'm just Security Good. 815 01:03:42,154 --> 01:03:44,780 And when it's done, Say: Oh, what a beautiful tea party 816 01:03:44,781 --> 01:03:46,324 What are you waiting for, bitch. Start to suck! 817 01:03:48,160 --> 01:03:49,494 Worth a try. 818 01:03:49,536 --> 01:03:54,580 819 01:04:04,676 --> 01:04:08,469 820 01:04:19,399 --> 01:04:21,401 821 01:04:21,443 --> 01:04:28,949 I want to put it in your mouth, ***. You really want to suck my egg. 822 01:04:32,579 --> 01:04:39,396 Alright, Remember! Don't look at Ben or Matt. Or you will be fired. 823 01:04:39,419 --> 01:04:42,971 Do you understand? Thank you. 824 01:04:45,926 --> 01:04:47,985 You polish your hair. 825 01:04:49,221 --> 01:04:52,349 Yeah, I polish my hair. Looks better. 826 01:04:52,390 --> 01:04:57,751 This is definitely part of Bluntman. Look at two bastards in the movie "Mork". 827 01:04:57,771 --> 01:04:59,064 Lips, teeth, tongue or lion face? 828 01:04:59,105 --> 01:05:01,274 Lion face! 829 01:05:01,316 --> 01:05:02,567 Lemon face! 830 01:05:02,609 --> 01:05:03,777 Lion's face! 831 01:05:03,819 --> 01:05:05,070 Lemon face! 832 01:05:05,070 --> 01:05:07,364 Enough. When can it start, Gus? 833 01:05:09,491 --> 01:05:10,659 Gus? 834 01:05:10,700 --> 01:05:11,868 I'm busy. 835 01:05:11,910 --> 01:05:13,078 You're a true artist, Gus 836 01:05:13,119 --> 01:05:14,912 Let's just start. Do it well. 837 01:05:14,913 --> 01:05:17,164 Are you the director? / Pushed from "Bounce Kid" 838 01:05:17,165 --> 01:05:19,750 Remember what we talked about when I first filmed 839 01:05:19,751 --> 01:05:22,086 I mean, I'm talking about "Dogma" One thing 840 01:05:22,087 --> 01:05:25,589 Listen, I'm sorry to have dragged you from a serial killer gay Those who ride horses and like to play golf 841 01:05:25,590 --> 01:05:27,758 "Touchy Feely Pictures" production will begin this week. 842 01:05:27,759 --> 01:05:29,593 Haven't I invited you to watch Forces of Nature 843 01:05:29,594 --> 01:05:31,762 You're like a child. What should I say to you? 844 01:05:31,763 --> 01:05:33,347 Your movement must be smooth Then it will produce beautiful images. 845 01:05:33,348 --> 01:05:36,517 846 01:05:36,518 --> 01:05:38,227 Sometimes you have to repeatedly move 847 01:05:38,228 --> 01:05:41,604 Because the person watching said: "I paid a lot for this movie" 848 01:05:42,274 --> 01:05:43,899 Sometimes you have to do it again and sometimes like you play "Reindeer Games". 849 01:05:43,900 --> 01:05:45,568 That's what I mean 850 01:05:45,569 --> 01:05:47,278 What we have to do is how to approach them. 851 01:05:47,279 --> 01:05:52,449 Do your best, Guys You're here. 852 01:05:52,450 --> 01:05:55,244 Your friend is here. 853 01:05:55,245 --> 01:05:56,996 Just stand up and just shut up Don't speak Especially you. 854 01:05:56,997 --> 01:05:58,622 Alright! 855 01:05:58,623 --> 01:06:02,001 That's pretty funny. 856 01:06:02,002 --> 01:06:03,210 Aim the camera for shooting 857 01:06:03,211 --> 01:06:04,588 Good luck friend. 858 01:06:04,629 --> 01:06:07,631 Get rid of your hand from me. You bastard! 859 01:06:07,632 --> 01:06:08,841 860 01:06:08,842 --> 01:06:11,635 861 01:06:11,636 --> 01:06:15,764 Alright. On the third count We do it fast, beat them... 862 01:06:15,765 --> 01:06:18,574 ... because when everything gets messed up They can't make that film. 863 01:06:18,575 --> 01:06:18,893 Right? 864 01:06:18,894 --> 01:06:20,436 Ready? 865 01:06:20,437 --> 01:06:23,481 1, 2, 3! 866 01:06:23,482 --> 01:06:25,816 "Good Will Hunting 2, Hunting Season," 867 01:06:25,817 --> 01:06:31,030 16th Scene, 5th Taking 868 01:06:31,031 --> 01:06:33,033 Think about salary. OK. 869 01:06:38,705 --> 01:06:40,999 You don't want to say "Action" Gus? 870 01:06:41,041 --> 01:06:44,127 Please Ben I said I was busy. 871 01:06:46,922 --> 01:06:51,967 Right, I still remember that class. But honestly, I feel very innocent. 872 01:06:51,968 --> 01:06:56,222 I also remember at that time. Between hours will be afternoon. 873 01:06:56,223 --> 01:06:59,517 Will we repeat it again? 874 01:06:59,518 --> 01:07:05,523 I hope, maybe you give a little cheat sheet about "Shouthern Colonies" 875 01:07:05,524 --> 01:07:11,362 Remember what Wood said? / What words? I said you were here to throw up again Gordon Wood. 876 01:07:11,363 --> 01:07:15,863 But you forgot about Vickers./ No, I've read Vickers... 877 01:07:15,864 --> 01:07:20,955 ... so I inherited wealth, Will Hunting. But now you are better, Smart Youth... 878 01:07:20,956 --> 01:07:24,375 ... you used to easily vent anger. 879 01:07:24,376 --> 01:07:29,883 No, you stopped reading books while I read it... 880 01:07:29,884 --> 01:07:34,635 You don't even know it at all. Face it, friend. 881 01:07:34,636 --> 01:07:39,182 You're not as good as before, Will Hunting. 882 01:07:43,061 --> 01:07:47,190 Do you still like to eat apples? 883 01:07:49,401 --> 01:07:52,953 I hate hearing them say apple, Will. What we will do? 884 01:07:53,029 --> 01:07:55,323 Chuckie? Yes? 885 01:07:55,365 --> 01:07:58,034 This is the hunting season. 886 01:08:02,706 --> 01:08:04,666 Apple Jam, Bitch. 887 01:08:06,793 --> 01:08:10,296 Sorry to disturb, gentlemen. We are working on a 10-7 case 888 01:08:10,297 --> 01:08:13,507 Ah, you do it again, Ben? Do not lie! 889 01:08:13,508 --> 01:08:16,343 Because today I'm not with Prostitutes! 890 01:08:16,344 --> 01:08:17,469 That's them! 891 01:08:17,470 --> 01:08:20,932 Affleck, you exploded in the "Phantom" movie, yo! 892 01:08:23,101 --> 01:08:24,561 Catch them! 893 01:08:26,753 --> 01:08:40,562 resync by genoveva 894 01:09:02,307 --> 01:09:05,602 All right, you bastard. We see who you really are. 895 01:09:09,231 --> 01:09:12,234 Damn Miramax. Cut! 896 01:09:14,361 --> 01:09:17,488 Shannen, I have the right to say "cut". / Monkey, Wes? 897 01:09:17,489 --> 01:09:21,617 I mean, even you have never trained it right? 898 01:09:21,618 --> 01:09:23,662 What? The results of the research state that people like monkeys. 899 01:09:27,207 --> 01:09:29,167 We like this monkey! 900 01:09:30,710 --> 01:09:31,920 Right? 901 01:10:05,704 --> 01:10:08,039 They are fantastic people. 902 01:10:22,596 --> 01:10:28,965 You know what I mean, friend. You really like "my dog" right? 903 01:10:32,105 --> 01:10:36,358 Oh God, you must be sick. Are you all right? Help them stand up. 904 01:10:36,359 --> 01:10:38,195 Hey, aren't you screwing pie? 905 01:10:49,039 --> 01:10:52,851 Right? 906 01:10:52,876 --> 01:10:54,085 Did you hear? Will never. 907 01:10:54,127 --> 01:10:56,670 Hey, hey, you're a loser right? or Sissy, you sway in the Boys And Girls 908 01:10:56,671 --> 01:11:00,549 That saying is always "screwing pie". I am haunted by those words. 909 01:11:00,550 --> 01:11:04,093 910 01:11:04,094 --> 01:11:08,220 You put your "bird" into pie. / Enough! I'm Jason Biggs. 911 01:11:08,221 --> 01:11:12,228 Are you really up to three times with that Russian girl like in a movie? 912 01:11:12,229 --> 01:11:15,606 Do you mean Shannon? Not true. 913 01:11:15,607 --> 01:11:24,317 Ow, she's very beautiful. If I were you, I will... 914 01:11:26,952 --> 01:11:30,621 Or maybe this one? 915 01:11:31,498 --> 01:11:33,082 Wait, wait, not the one... 916 01:11:33,083 --> 01:11:34,625 Oh, yes. 917 01:11:34,626 --> 01:11:39,463 Pretty funny, friend. Damn, you're Dawson. 918 01:11:39,464 --> 01:11:43,551 James, to be exact, James Van Der Beek. / Why did Pacey steal Joey from you? 919 01:11:43,552 --> 01:11:46,720 If I were you, I'd put him into a garbage can 920 01:11:46,721 --> 01:11:50,808 Did you really watch the film? / Yes, Joey is very sweet. 921 01:11:50,809 --> 01:11:53,811 Have you been with him three times? / Only once. 922 01:11:53,812 --> 01:11:55,313 Wait a minute. Who are you? 923 01:11:56,773 --> 01:11:59,400 They are StuntMan, Stupid! 924 01:11:59,401 --> 01:12:01,611 Is that right? / Of course. 925 01:12:03,029 --> 01:12:07,642 What is StuntMan for? / For films which will begin filming in 15 minutes? 926 01:12:07,659 --> 01:12:08,951 Bluntman And Cronic: Strike Back 927 01:12:08,952 --> 01:12:14,748 Yeah, you are my successor, obviously. A.K. Cast.A Silent Bill. 928 01:12:14,749 --> 01:12:16,125 Bob. Right. 929 01:12:16,126 --> 01:12:23,299 And he is Cronic, A.K.A Ray./ Jay, Fuck! Don't you read the script? 930 01:12:23,300 --> 01:12:28,576 Is there a script? Is there a script for this film? 931 01:12:30,348 --> 01:12:31,515 Wait a minute. We will be back soon. 932 01:12:31,516 --> 01:12:36,854 Fuck you and Dawsonmu. Go to Pacey's hell. 933 01:12:36,855 --> 01:12:43,152 We take it from here. Throw them out. Bam, there's no film. 934 01:12:43,153 --> 01:12:45,237 A useless monkey. 935 01:12:45,238 --> 01:12:48,325 What did the two gays do there? 936 01:12:49,910 --> 01:12:52,661 What is "gay" do you mean? They only discuss in the corner. 937 01:12:52,662 --> 01:12:54,747 Yeah, but ../ Just call it homophobe? 938 01:12:54,748 --> 01:12:56,207 Guaranteed the same? 939 01:12:56,208 --> 01:12:57,541 For example, Oh, it's gay, male. 940 01:12:57,542 --> 01:12:59,585 Oh, look at that gay group. Look at that gay dog. 941 01:12:59,586 --> 01:13:03,339 And others are gay. I understand? 942 01:13:03,340 --> 01:13:06,842 I like gay people, OK? You too. 943 01:13:07,093 --> 01:13:09,501 Oh, look at the monkey! / Surely you would say this monkey is gay. 944 01:13:09,554 --> 01:13:12,557 How do you know if he doesn't suck another monkey's "bird"? 945 01:13:12,557 --> 01:13:14,059 Look, he is so funny. 946 01:13:14,059 --> 01:13:15,519 Very cute! 947 01:13:16,770 --> 01:13:20,895 All right, let's face them, beat and don't stop until Holywood young people... 948 01:13:20,899 --> 01:13:22,901 ... get paid, Ready? Hajar! 949 01:13:30,075 --> 01:13:32,035 It's called Funky Monkey. 950 01:13:34,412 --> 01:13:37,873 Mr. Biggs, Mr. Van Der Beek, We are Security. 951 01:13:37,874 --> 01:13:41,919 There are two intruders in the parking lot. They enter through your bedroom window. 952 01:13:41,920 --> 01:13:45,381 Uh, yeah, they're here. 953 01:13:45,382 --> 01:13:48,759 Did they hurt you? Do I need to contact your Bodyguard? 954 01:13:48,760 --> 01:13:54,431 No need, we've kicked their ass. What a mess. 955 01:13:54,432 --> 01:13:58,310 It's good if we ask permission to enter to take over. 956 01:13:58,311 --> 01:14:03,941 Not yet, me and Jason Biggs are naked here, together. 957 01:14:03,942 --> 01:14:06,819 Oh. OK 958 01:14:06,820 --> 01:14:10,775 We wait until you clean up. 959 01:14:20,292 --> 01:14:24,626 What do we do to get out of here to make them invisible? 960 01:14:27,632 --> 01:14:31,677 You guys got it wrong! You have never watched WB? 961 01:14:31,678 --> 01:14:35,014 I'm a teen idol, damn it! Don't you recognize me? 962 01:14:35,015 --> 01:14:37,476 Look at me! I'm Sleep Pie! 963 01:14:39,811 --> 01:14:43,523 Yeah, well, in prison, he'll be a pie. 964 01:14:44,983 --> 01:14:49,627 Good idea for Lunch Box, This costume is suitable for disguising. 965 01:14:49,738 --> 01:14:52,157 Mr. Biggs, Mr. Van Der Beek! 966 01:14:52,157 --> 01:14:54,284 Good. You have changed costumes. 967 01:14:54,326 --> 01:14:55,494 It's time to shoot. The director is impatient, OK? 968 01:14:55,535 --> 01:14:57,078 The director doesn't like will continue to wait, OK? 969 01:14:57,162 --> 01:14:58,830 Silent Bob! 970 01:15:00,582 --> 01:15:04,668 Look at all this garbage. $ 70 million, I didn't even see a black crew. 971 01:15:04,669 --> 01:15:08,056 This is embarrassing. really embarrassing./ Your coffee, sir. 972 01:15:09,174 --> 01:15:11,383 Did you spit on this? I don't spit in it, sir. 973 01:15:11,384 --> 01:15:13,969 There are boogers in it? / There are no boogers in it, sir. 974 01:15:13,970 --> 01:15:17,181 Do you know the film school? You must know so you can see Negroes... 975 01:15:17,182 --> 01:15:21,143 ... directing big films like this. You have to go to film school. 976 01:15:21,144 --> 01:15:24,688 Does your father know that you gave coffee to Negroes? 977 01:15:24,689 --> 01:15:27,191 Will it kill him? 978 01:15:27,192 --> 01:15:28,526 There are no boogers in it, sir. 979 01:15:28,527 --> 01:15:30,611 Taste it! Feel it! 980 01:15:30,612 --> 01:15:33,489 Taste the taste of boogers. I know there's a boogers flavor there 981 01:15:33,490 --> 01:15:38,202 It feels good, sir. / It's not good at all! Now clean it. 982 01:15:38,203 --> 01:15:43,374 Have white blondes, so I can enjoy it. 983 01:15:43,375 --> 01:15:46,418 You want it, sir. / No, that's your kemuanmu and that's the problem. 984 01:15:46,419 --> 01:15:51,048 Eh, Chaka? Hi, I'm the Banky Edwards author of "Bluntman And Cronic". 985 01:15:51,049 --> 01:15:53,509 We met last week. I'm an Executive Producer. 986 01:15:53,510 --> 01:15:55,427 Oh, you are the Executive Producer! 987 01:15:55,428 --> 01:16:00,266 Why isn't it "Executive Coffee Producer Latte"? and "The Cookies Pie", ok, Fucky? 988 01:16:00,267 --> 01:16:02,726 This is Banky. / No, Fucky. 989 01:16:02,727 --> 01:16:04,998 You know that I respect your work as an artist. 990 01:16:04,999 --> 01:16:08,399 I'm an artist myself. I draw comics. 991 01:16:08,400 --> 01:16:09,775 Yes, man, you're a plagiarist, okay? 992 01:16:09,776 --> 01:16:11,902 Nobody dares to say honestly to you. 993 01:16:11,903 --> 01:16:14,655 You copied every line of the image. Are you a hijacker, okay? 994 01:16:14,656 --> 01:16:16,574 Do you think only Fat Albert is the plagiarist? Not! 995 01:16:16,575 --> 01:16:20,412 Bill Cosby did it with a ruler. And that's very good. 996 01:16:21,746 --> 01:16:24,832 Rubbish, garbage? Rubbish? 997 01:16:24,833 --> 01:16:27,084 Eh, Biggs and Van Der Beek are ready, Chaka. 998 01:16:27,085 --> 01:16:30,046 I don't see it! Where are these trash movie stars? 999 01:16:46,688 --> 01:16:49,398 Damn, this stage must have spent hundreds of dolas. 1000 01:16:49,399 --> 01:16:53,068 Get away from me. What is this? 1001 01:16:53,069 --> 01:16:56,947 Look at this. An ornament of "Gay Hood" and "The Color Purple". 1002 01:16:56,948 --> 01:16:59,909 Who am I? Who am I? I'm the director! 1003 01:16:59,910 --> 01:17:03,162 Chaka Luther King, that's me. / No, wait a minute... 1004 01:17:03,163 --> 01:17:05,080 I think Banky and Holden created this garbage. 1005 01:17:05,081 --> 01:17:08,042 And I stole it. I give it back to Negroes. 1006 01:17:08,043 --> 01:17:11,570 To redeem what you took from us (Negro). 1007 01:17:11,571 --> 01:17:14,598 Do you know that I sparked the idea for "Sesame Street"? 1008 01:17:14,599 --> 01:17:16,133 I started before PBS. 1009 01:17:16,134 --> 01:17:18,177 White people stole it. It is true. 1010 01:17:18,178 --> 01:17:23,140 I call it "Nigger With Puppets" Negro and Bonek, Interesting right? 1011 01:17:23,141 --> 01:17:26,811 1012 01:17:26,812 --> 01:17:28,020 1013 01:17:28,021 --> 01:17:32,316 1014 01:17:32,317 --> 01:17:34,568 1015 01:17:34,569 --> 01:17:38,656 1016 01:17:38,657 --> 01:17:43,244 1017 01:17:43,245 --> 01:17:45,454 1018 01:17:45,455 --> 01:17:48,958 1019 01:17:48,959 --> 01:17:53,170 So, are you ready? OK! We start rolling new movements. 1020 01:17:53,171 --> 01:17:56,298 All right, everyone is ready in their respective positions! / The camera is ready! 1021 01:17:56,299 --> 01:18:00,678 I brought you a new coffee, sir. Without a booger. Keep out of my sight! 1022 01:18:00,679 --> 01:18:02,514 You look beautiful. 1023 01:18:03,765 --> 01:18:05,350 "Bluntman And Cronic Strike Back" 1024 01:18:05,392 --> 01:18:07,519 Scene 37, first take !. 1025 01:18:12,732 --> 01:18:14,484 What are you waiting for? Action! 1026 01:18:17,612 --> 01:18:22,951 Bootchies Umsnootchie? 1027 01:18:27,080 --> 01:18:28,832 What's the matter? 1028 01:18:32,833 --> 01:18:36,033 HALO CHILDREN THIS MARK HAMILL (Applause) 1029 01:18:37,716 --> 01:18:43,721 You don't think I'll find your precious Blunt Cave, Hempknight! 1030 01:18:43,722 --> 01:18:54,690 Now you and your friend finally will feel what is called "COCK-KNOCKER" 1031 01:18:54,691 --> 01:18:58,861 Why are you called COCK-KNOKER 1032 01:18:58,862 --> 01:19:05,993 Actually, there is a funny story behind this. You will like it. The real story... 1033 01:19:05,994 --> 01:19:08,914 Hempknight, get my revenge... 1034 01:19:15,754 --> 01:19:18,381 I think George Lucas will sue someone. 1035 01:19:19,674 --> 01:19:24,221 Last message before I kicked your ball, Bluntman? 1036 01:20:10,809 --> 01:20:12,060 Sick "Pie Sleepers"! 1037 01:20:14,354 --> 01:20:15,939 White people can't fight. 1038 01:20:17,774 --> 01:20:20,944 Don't mess with a Jedi Master, kid. 1039 01:20:25,407 --> 01:20:26,825 Yo, Fist Whore! 1040 01:20:29,953 --> 01:20:34,332 Call me "Darth Balls". Bong! 1041 01:20:34,374 --> 01:20:35,959 God. 1042 01:20:40,672 --> 01:20:42,424 Hey, it's not in the script. 1043 01:21:10,744 --> 01:21:12,996 So this is Hollywood? 1044 01:21:13,038 --> 01:21:18,460 Now, it's time for camera-action Jay and Silent Bob. 1045 01:21:20,212 --> 01:21:23,590 Don't move, you terrorists Child prostitutes! 1046 01:21:24,841 --> 01:21:26,301 God! 1047 01:21:27,552 --> 01:21:30,639 Oh! Oh, God. 1048 01:21:30,722 --> 01:21:35,893 Oh. Uh, sorry everyone. It should be a warning shot. 1049 01:21:35,894 --> 01:21:37,687 I'm clear on the wrong stage. 1050 01:21:37,729 --> 01:21:40,065 Will he be okay? 1051 01:21:41,900 --> 01:21:43,401 Not good. 1052 01:21:49,574 --> 01:21:52,536 You can't beat me, Van Der Beek. 1053 01:22:00,418 --> 01:22:03,839 This film will be like "House Party" looks like "House Party 2". 1054 01:22:03,922 --> 01:22:05,090 Or "House Party 3". 1055 01:22:05,090 --> 01:22:06,883 Shut your mouth. / Yes, sir. 1056 01:22:06,925 --> 01:22:09,845 Chaka! You call Dawson, don't you? 1057 01:22:14,099 --> 01:22:17,310 Chaka! Can I have a "cut" here? 1058 01:22:22,440 --> 01:22:24,442 Not anymore. 1059 01:22:25,944 --> 01:22:27,946 Whose ball is broken, Whore? 1060 01:22:27,988 --> 01:22:30,197 Okay, that's enough. I'm out of here. 1061 01:22:30,198 --> 01:22:32,366 Chaka, I'm going to your house. 1062 01:22:32,367 --> 01:22:34,285 What's the matter ?! 1063 01:22:34,286 --> 01:22:36,996 C.L.I.T. stop here, Jay and Silent Bob! 1064 01:22:36,997 --> 01:22:39,331 Additional white people in this film? Shit! 1065 01:22:39,332 --> 01:22:43,002 Federal Wildlife of Marshall. All hope to be calm. 1066 01:22:43,003 --> 01:22:44,795 Return to your film stage. 1067 01:22:44,796 --> 01:22:47,131 These people are leaders of a terrorist organization sought for kidnapping a small monkey. 1068 01:22:47,132 --> 01:22:49,341 They don't really steal monkeys. 1069 01:22:49,342 --> 01:22:51,177 That's just a transfer so we can steal this. 1070 01:22:51,178 --> 01:22:54,472 And they are not leaders of C.L.I.T. 1071 01:22:54,473 --> 01:22:55,764 C.L.I.T. it doesn't exist. 1072 01:22:55,765 --> 01:22:57,475 1073 01:22:57,476 --> 01:22:59,143 No, no, no. No, C.L.I.T. is real. 1074 01:22:59,144 --> 01:23:00,853 C.L.I.T. there it is. 1075 01:23:00,854 --> 01:23:03,189 A woman's vital tool is a myth. 1076 01:23:03,190 --> 01:23:05,149 Do you know what I'm talking about? 1077 01:23:05,150 --> 01:23:06,484 Are you all right? 1078 01:23:06,485 --> 01:23:08,986 I think you exploded, Boo-Boo Kitty-Brengsek. 1079 01:23:08,987 --> 01:23:11,447 You still remember it! 1080 01:23:11,448 --> 01:23:14,116 Oh, that's a trap, Jay. 1081 01:23:14,117 --> 01:23:17,828 Missy, Sissy, Chrissy, and I are international jewel thieves. 1082 01:23:17,829 --> 01:23:19,872 We arrange you to be a feeder. 1083 01:23:19,873 --> 01:23:25,503 But I can't let it go just because I love you. 1084 01:23:25,504 --> 01:23:27,171 Yes? That means we will make love, right? 1085 01:23:27,172 --> 01:23:28,464 Of course. 1086 01:23:28,465 --> 01:23:31,133 Then, we will consider "Necrophilia" 1087 01:23:31,134 --> 01:23:34,553 Because he will die Hi, Jussy. We caught you when it wasn't right? 1088 01:23:34,554 --> 01:23:37,223 You have to give them up "go down" (arrested) Jussy 1089 01:23:37,224 --> 01:23:39,683 I want to "go down", but this angel... 1090 01:23:39,684 --> 01:23:41,060 appeared on my shoulder saying "Listen". 1091 01:23:41,061 --> 01:23:42,269 I replied, "what?" 1092 01:23:42,270 --> 01:23:43,479 Shut up, before I shoot you with those red boots, sissy. 1093 01:23:43,480 --> 01:23:46,524 Damn, I'm wearing sissy boots. 1094 01:23:46,525 --> 01:23:49,819 Why don't you say? 1095 01:23:49,820 --> 01:23:51,570 Hand over the diamond, Justice. 1096 01:23:51,571 --> 01:23:53,364 I don't want to, Sissy. 1097 01:23:53,365 --> 01:23:54,740 Then your girlfriend will get one bullet in his brain 1098 01:23:54,741 --> 01:23:56,701 Yo, beautiful woman! 1099 01:23:58,370 --> 01:23:59,996 1100 01:24:00,038 --> 01:24:02,999 What if you auditioned for my film 1101 01:24:03,041 --> 01:24:04,501 If you need to invite others. Come on! 1102 01:24:10,799 --> 01:24:12,509 Damn it! Shit! Shit! 1103 01:24:15,220 --> 01:24:17,013 Oh, damn it! 1104 01:24:23,895 --> 01:24:25,689 Whites with weapons? 1105 01:24:25,730 --> 01:24:28,233 It's time for blacks to go away from here. 1106 01:24:33,280 --> 01:24:37,741 You really disappointed me, Justice. Betrayal for a bastard whose mouth is dirty Open that reason, Sissy? 1107 01:24:37,742 --> 01:24:38,993 What style do you want from me to kick your ass? 1108 01:24:38,994 --> 01:24:41,912 Are you kidding me? 1109 01:24:41,913 --> 01:24:43,205 I taught you all your movements There is no move from you which I can't defy. 1110 01:24:43,206 --> 01:24:44,582 You don't fit "ShaoLin Monk." 1111 01:24:44,583 --> 01:24:47,626 1112 01:24:47,627 --> 01:24:49,211 1113 01:24:49,212 --> 01:24:51,380 Yeah, but I'll bury you with "Crouching Tiger" 1114 01:24:51,381 --> 01:24:54,049 The style of "Fly Trap?" / I will strike you with "Dragon Queen". 1115 01:24:54,050 --> 01:24:57,553 What about "Prostitutes, My Boyfriend Is Not a Child from Your Father?" 1116 01:24:57,554 --> 01:24:58,888 Show. 1117 01:24:58,889 --> 01:25:01,849 Aah! 1118 01:25:01,850 --> 01:25:04,477 Stupid slut! 1119 01:25:04,478 --> 01:25:06,395 Yo, I hope one of them will tear the clothes... 1120 01:25:06,396 --> 01:25:10,608 and we can see their breasts rolling around. 1121 01:25:10,609 --> 01:25:14,904 Mr. Biggs, Mr. Van Der Beek, I just want to say hello. Hi, I'm Banky... 1122 01:25:14,905 --> 01:25:16,447 Banky Edwards! 1123 01:25:16,448 --> 01:25:18,574 You're a bastard, we're here for understanding! 1124 01:25:18,575 --> 01:25:20,911 Damn it! What are you doing here? 1125 01:25:26,416 --> 01:25:28,459 Why did you shoot me? 1126 01:25:28,460 --> 01:25:29,960 Two reasons. 1127 01:25:29,961 --> 01:25:33,172 One, because we are girls not! 1128 01:25:33,173 --> 01:25:35,592 Second, because you're a man! 1129 01:25:36,051 --> 01:25:38,595 Just outside. 1130 01:25:38,637 --> 01:25:41,096 Stop the movie? Are you crazy? 1131 01:25:41,097 --> 01:25:43,599 All the bastards on the Internet call our names... 1132 01:25:43,600 --> 01:25:44,975 ... because of this damn stupid movie. 1133 01:25:44,976 --> 01:25:48,270 What on the Internet is only defaming is not clear who is being addressed 1134 01:25:48,271 --> 01:25:55,486 Stopping the movie won't stop them too. 1135 01:25:55,487 --> 01:25:56,654 This isn't fair! 1136 01:25:56,655 --> 01:25:59,156 We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. 1137 01:25:59,157 --> 01:26:01,534 We stole monkeys, we got shot 1138 01:26:01,535 --> 01:26:06,330 and my ball was hit by a person named "COCK-KNOCKER" 1139 01:26:06,331 --> 01:26:08,958 Okay, I'm sorry for you. Really concerned. 1140 01:26:08,959 --> 01:26:11,168 But Miramax, you know Miramax Films... 1141 01:26:11,169 --> 01:26:13,671 ... pay me the money from the proceeds sale of "Bluntman And Cronic" 1142 01:26:13,672 --> 01:26:16,257 So, what I hear about people who insult you... 1143 01:26:16,258 --> 01:26:19,802 on the Website... it's not my business! 1144 01:26:19,803 --> 01:26:22,013 Oh, I think YES We have an agreement with you, based on comics, please know... 1145 01:26:25,308 --> 01:26:27,393 Similarity of Rights... 1146 01:26:27,394 --> 01:26:28,602 ... and because we don't have talent to be an artist... 1147 01:26:28,603 --> 01:26:30,688 ... but clearly based on character... 1148 01:26:30,689 --> 01:26:32,690 ... for the basis of filmmaking, Bluntman And Cronic... 1149 01:26:32,691 --> 01:26:35,526 ... you could say the basic character chosen by Miramax Films... 1150 01:26:35,527 --> 01:26:38,362 1151 01:26:38,363 --> 01:26:41,407 ... legally, you must ask for our consent... 1152 01:26:41,408 --> 01:26:43,576 ... to transfer characters from comics to movies. 1153 01:26:43,577 --> 01:26:46,203 If you don't do it, Banky, 1154 01:26:46,204 --> 01:26:48,581 ... you have violated the original contract... 1155 01:26:48,582 --> 01:26:52,668 Then, you are in a position which must be followed up... 1156 01:26:52,669 --> 01:26:54,796 Yes. 1157 01:26:57,549 --> 01:26:59,383 You will damage my film career. 1158 01:26:59,384 --> 01:27:01,677 Now, we want something for our mental suffering. 1159 01:27:01,678 --> 01:27:04,013 Tell you what, we finish monetary I will give 1/2 of what I got. 1160 01:27:04,014 --> 01:27:05,598 1/2? / 1/2 isn't fair enough? Well. 1161 01:27:05,599 --> 01:27:07,766 I will divide 2/3 from what I can. 1162 01:27:07,767 --> 01:27:09,602 1163 01:27:09,603 --> 01:27:11,604 Your bastard. You said 1/2. 1164 01:27:11,605 --> 01:27:12,813 You can't take it anymore. 1165 01:27:12,814 --> 01:27:14,816 Agree. 1166 01:27:19,905 --> 01:27:22,199 You look weak, Justice. 1167 01:27:22,199 --> 01:27:26,286 Call me Boo-Boo Kitty-Brengsek Bitch. 1168 01:27:36,046 --> 01:27:37,380 Hello? 1169 01:27:37,422 --> 01:27:39,299 Armistice? 1170 01:27:42,594 --> 01:27:44,845 I thought my shot hit them. 1171 01:27:44,846 --> 01:27:46,890 I'm really a sniper. I always... 1172 01:27:47,724 --> 01:27:49,768 Gosh... 1173 01:27:51,895 --> 01:27:54,564 Get out. The game is complete. 1174 01:27:57,692 --> 01:27:59,611 Are you okay Boo-Boo Kitty-Brengsek? 1175 01:27:59,653 --> 01:28:02,155 I just want to jump and save you. 1176 01:28:03,782 --> 01:28:05,992 Damn, police. We have to get out of here. 1177 01:28:06,034 --> 01:28:08,953 No, no, no. I'm tired of blurring 1178 01:28:08,954 --> 01:28:12,915 Oh, Marshall. Hey, are you awake? 1179 01:28:12,916 --> 01:28:14,625 Wake up, Marshall. 1180 01:28:14,626 --> 01:28:16,001 Oh. You are okay? 1181 01:28:16,002 --> 01:28:19,046 Oh, God, I'm paralyzed! 1182 01:28:19,047 --> 01:28:22,258 The monkey shot my ass and I'm paralyzed! 1183 01:28:22,259 --> 01:28:25,386 Oh, sweet insults! 1184 01:28:25,387 --> 01:28:27,596 You're not paralyzed. It's just a sedative. 1185 01:28:27,597 --> 01:28:31,142 Oh, God! Ouch! 1186 01:28:31,143 --> 01:28:33,562 Shot by a monkey! 1187 01:28:37,315 --> 01:28:38,775 Do you have friends at the FBI? 1188 01:28:38,817 --> 01:28:42,070 They all got away, but I failed the test. 1189 01:28:42,112 --> 01:28:45,615 Why did I become Marshall a Wildlife Federation? 1190 01:28:45,657 --> 01:28:48,743 I'll tell you! Because I'm a clown! 1191 01:28:48,785 --> 01:28:50,579 Maybe not. 1192 01:28:50,620 --> 01:28:52,747 I can give you an agreement that makes you enter the FBI without having to take an exam. 1193 01:28:52,789 --> 01:28:54,666 1194 01:28:54,708 --> 01:28:56,751 What kind of agreement? 1195 01:28:56,793 --> 01:28:59,336 You cleared the charges on Jay and Silent Bob... 1196 01:28:59,337 --> 01:29:00,838 ... and said, you never looking for a monkey... 1197 01:29:00,839 --> 01:29:03,174 Instead, I will give you the diamond we stole and submit Missy, Chrissy, Sissy, and myself... 1198 01:29:03,175 --> 01:29:05,342 ... but I want my law to be reduced... 1199 01:29:05,343 --> 01:29:06,886 Do you really want to do it? 1200 01:29:06,887 --> 01:29:08,346 For his sake, I am willing to do anything. 1201 01:29:12,976 --> 01:29:17,814 I'm an international jewel thief who faces a prison sentence. 1202 01:29:22,027 --> 01:29:25,488 Alright. I'm an addict with a monkey. 1203 01:29:25,489 --> 01:29:27,823 If I'm jailed, Are you ready to wait? 1204 01:29:27,824 --> 01:29:29,909 I don't know. 1205 01:29:29,910 --> 01:29:31,161 1206 01:29:31,203 --> 01:29:32,829 Are you going to make love to me if it's free? 1207 01:29:40,086 --> 01:29:43,047 Don't change the subject. Will we make love if you are free? 1208 01:29:43,048 --> 01:29:52,056 Snoogans. 1209 01:29:52,057 --> 01:29:55,476 Wow, there's a lot of love here. 1210 01:29:55,477 --> 01:29:57,812 Regardless of what you might have heard... 1211 01:29:57,813 --> 01:29:59,688 I don't kiss men. 1212 01:29:59,689 --> 01:30:03,902 OK. Take it easy, champ. 1213 01:30:08,448 --> 01:30:11,034 Sorry, Justice. We have to go. 1214 01:30:12,786 --> 01:30:14,161 Hey, don't steal monkeys. 1215 01:30:14,162 --> 01:30:21,836 Fuck you. Fair enough. 1216 01:30:21,837 --> 01:30:23,254 Wait for me. 1217 01:30:23,255 --> 01:30:24,631 What, here? 1218 01:30:38,728 --> 01:30:41,772 Well, you're rich, fall in love 1219 01:30:41,773 --> 01:30:43,524 Well, you're in love 1220 01:30:43,525 --> 01:30:45,526 In the end, You have your own monkey 1221 01:30:45,527 --> 01:30:47,987 What else do you want two Jersey Teenagers to do? 1222 01:30:47,988 --> 01:30:50,447 All we have to do is stop our insult ... on the Internet as a start. 1223 01:30:50,448 --> 01:30:51,782 What have I told you? 1224 01:30:51,783 --> 01:30:53,159 You can't do much to stop them. 1225 01:30:53,160 --> 01:30:54,869 Well, briefly appear in all their homes and beat them all, maybe. 1226 01:30:54,870 --> 01:30:56,745 You know, with the money we get from movies, we can buy plane tickets. 1227 01:30:56,746 --> 01:30:59,040 Yes? 1228 01:31:05,464 --> 01:31:09,551 Are you "Magnolia Fan" who sent a post 1229 01:31:15,474 --> 01:31:16,600 Yes. 1230 01:31:16,641 --> 01:31:21,730 Are you writing Fuck Jay and Silent Bob 1231 01:31:21,813 --> 01:31:22,939 fuck with their stupidity? 1232 01:31:22,981 --> 01:31:26,651 1233 01:31:26,693 --> 01:31:29,613 1234 01:31:29,654 --> 01:31:31,907 Yes. Some time ago. So? 1235 01:31:40,832 --> 01:31:42,667 1236 01:31:42,709 --> 01:31:45,462 You said Jay and Silent Bob were like clowns, and if they were real "I will throw it with dirt because it's so stupid" 1237 01:31:48,673 --> 01:31:50,675 Yes. Is it true? 1238 01:31:50,717 --> 01:31:52,511 Right. 1239 01:32:13,365 --> 01:32:15,617 Right. It is true. 1240 01:32:17,577 --> 01:32:21,373 That's right. 1241 01:32:21,414 --> 01:32:23,500 That's right. Right. 1242 01:32:24,501 --> 01:32:27,921 Right. 1243 01:32:28,922 --> 01:32:30,173 Very good. 1244 01:32:50,068 --> 01:32:51,611 That's worse than Clash of the Titans. 1245 01:32:51,653 --> 01:32:54,114 I can't believe it 1246 01:32:54,156 --> 01:32:56,950 Reminds me to change the Detention Order " 1247 01:32:56,992 --> 01:32:59,035 Why? 1248 01:32:59,077 --> 01:33:00,370 Because I will promote. This film is on the Internet tonight. 1249 01:33:00,370 --> 01:33:02,873 Why has Hollywood never made worthy comic films? 1250 01:33:02,914 --> 01:33:05,542 1251 01:33:05,584 --> 01:33:07,836 Tell them Steve-Dave. Can you stop calling me that? 1252 01:33:07,878 --> 01:33:13,592 That's just a compliment to a teenager who refuses to mature Yes, Sys, but it's better than "Mallrats". 1253 01:33:13,633 --> 01:33:16,094 At least Holden means well to keep his good name. 1254 01:33:16,136 --> 01:33:19,264 Why doesn't Miramax choose another comic, is it because you have a relationship? 1255 01:33:19,306 --> 01:33:26,104 You mean, "Chasing Amy"? It won't work as a movie. 1256 01:33:26,146 --> 01:33:30,066 But 1257 01:33:30,108 --> 01:33:31,234 I'm very embarrassed. 1258 01:33:31,276 --> 01:33:32,861 Unfortunately, it seems like that 1259 01:33:32,944 --> 01:33:34,070 Taking characters and changing them throughout the 90 minutes is just a Gay Joke 1260 01:33:34,112 --> 01:33:38,742 It feels like watching Batman and Robin again. 1261 01:33:38,783 --> 01:33:40,243 1262 01:33:40,285 --> 01:33:44,122 Thank you. That means many people who pretend to be Shaft... 1263 01:33:44,164 --> 01:33:45,749 ... that is against men who are holding hostage Shaft. 1264 01:33:45,790 --> 01:33:48,543 Uh-uh. I don't know you can complain. 1265 01:33:49,878 --> 01:33:50,879 I don't focus too much on movies... 1266 01:33:50,921 --> 01:33:53,965 ... but I just have to say Bluntman And Cronic, "Bluntastic" 1267 01:33:54,007 --> 01:33:56,468 Does the foot also need to be chained? 1268 01:33:56,510 --> 01:33:58,804 Don't force me to shoot you, Justice. 1269 01:33:58,845 --> 01:34:00,472 Yo! 1270 01:34:00,514 --> 01:34:02,140 The party is across the street, 1271 01:34:02,182 --> 01:34:04,643 displays the biggest band in the world! 1272 01:34:04,684 --> 01:34:07,479 Morris Day and Time!