1
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,205
Holy shit!

2
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:06,648
Oh, fuck!

3
00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:11,755
No, no, no!

4
00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:23,563
Oh, shit!

5
00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:46,191
<i>Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to Jackass!</i>

6
00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:02,569
All right, boys and girls.
It's time for a puppet show.

7
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:07,268
Once upon a time,
there was a hungry serpent

8
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:10,838
and a lonely field mouse
who needed a friend.

9
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:13,678
Hello, Mr. Serpent.

10
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:18,623
My name is Mr. Mousey.
I wanna be your friend.

11
00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:21,486
Yeah, just make sure my
whole weiner's out. I wanna look good.

12
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:25,257
How about if I tickle him on the tail?
Hey, over here.

13
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:31,870
That's not nice.

14
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:34,498
That's not the way we play back home.

15
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,167
That was not nice.

16
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:38,768
Dude.

17
00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:41,543
He's like an inch away.

18
00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:46,584
Here we go. Give me a little kissy.

19
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,878
A little kiss.

20
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:00,926
Oh, God!

21
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:02,898
Oh, God, that hurts!

22
00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:17,811
It's got its tooth stuck in his dick!

23
00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:24,212
I guess the puppet show's over then.

24
00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:26,722
Oh, my God.

25
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:32,426
"Hi, Jackass guys.

26
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:36,165
"I heard you were staying at this hotel."

27
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,066
- What the fuck is that?
- Dude, look at that.

28
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,230
It's like... Someone like...

29
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:43,840
Look at it. What is this?
I can't even read it, dude.

30
00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:46,869
Read it out loud.

31
00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:49,880
"Hi, Jackass guys.
I heard you were staying at this hotel.

32
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:52,974
"My name is Stephanie
and me and my friends love you.

33
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:56,852
"Some of you actually hooked up
with my sister four years ago.

34
00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:58,787
"I don't care about that."

35
00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:00,882
Oh! You fucking dick.

36
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:08,860
Oh, my God.

37
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,129
I was wondering
why it was so fucking small.

38
00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:12,397
Did you see this?

39
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:17,067
Fucking fans just wrote this, like,
saying how much they want to fuck us.

40
00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:21,104
And it says...
Read it up close. It's fucking hilarious.

41
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,840
- Read it out loud for the camera.
- Okay.

42
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:29,952
"Some of you actually hooked up
with my sister four years ago."

43
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,785
It was probably you.

44
00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:34,558
"And I don't care about that.

45
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:38,494
"Me and my friends
will totally rock your world.

46
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:40,791
"I wanna fuck you all."

47
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:57,440
It's the fucking stupidest thing
I've ever seen.

48
00:06:57,617 --> 00:07:00,984
Fans actually put that...
Read the little part, dude.

49
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:17,526
Get Wee Man's little ass up here
but only if... No one be in the hall.

50
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:21,596
- Just, like, Bam. He's selling it so good.
- Is there a chair out here?

51
00:07:21,707 --> 00:07:25,507
Wee Man, dude,
some girl wants to rock your world.

52
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:29,069
Dude, you got to read this.
These fans put up this...

53
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:30,547
Dude, stand on this.

54
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:34,279
Read it out loud for the camera.
It's perfect "behind the scenes", dude.

55
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:37,550
"Hi, Jackass guys.
I heard you were staying at this hotel.

56
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:41,559
"My name is Stephanie
and me and my friends love you.

57
00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:45,687
"Some of you actually hooked up
with my sister four years ago.

58
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:47,799
"I don't care about that.

59
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,765
"Me and my friends..."

60
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,308
Oh, my God, that was amazing.

61
00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:03,944
He actually stood on the chair.

62
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:07,776
Why would there ever be a chair
in the hallway?

63
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,890
I'm Dave England,
and this is the Firehose Rodeo.

64
00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:21,297
Fucking hell!

65
00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:23,766
God damn it!

66
00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:34,446
Oh, shit!

67
00:08:46,225 --> 00:08:49,023
- Bravo, homo.
- Did you see how he slammed?

68
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,199
My ass hurts so fucking bad!

69
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,303
- Hey, is it bleeding?
- Yeah.

70
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:03,170
Man, you are bleeding.

71
00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:06,305
- My ass is bleeding?
- We have rectal bleeding.

72
00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:08,403
<i>Another first for Jackass.</i>

73
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:15,046
Get back here, you little bastard!
Get back here!

74
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:39,569
Now it's time
for a little Bicentennial BMX'ing.

75
00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:52,287
- All right.
- Alley-oop.

76
00:09:52,391 --> 00:09:53,983
Hear ye, hear ye.

77
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,260
This is really going to suck.

78
00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:05,834
Why would anybody ride this shit?

79
00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:08,833
It's like, what's the reasoning?

80
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:12,308
Why wouldn't they just make
two of the same-size wheel?

81
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:20,584
Oh, fuck.

82
00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:25,319
- You all right?
- Yeah.

83
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:27,887
You didn't land it.

84
00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:31,122
<i>My head stopped my body
from getting really hurt on that one.</i>

85
00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:34,021
Oh, fuck.

86
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:38,535
See, we have a weight going up
and it's supposed to hit me in the nuts,

87
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:42,267
but I'd prefer to have, like,
a dildo instead of the weight

88
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:46,334
and then, instead of the nuts,
it'll be my ass. It'll go right in.

89
00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:48,612
That's the way to do it.

90
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,705
Could somebody
make a dick run? Please?

91
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,856
Today's debate.
Is it wrong to be strong?

92
00:10:58,190 --> 00:10:59,782
You be the judge.

93
00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:15,701
Now, Bam just took a golden dildo
up his ass at high speed.

94
00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:18,204
That's what happened.

95
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:25,345
My name is Gloria and I'm 90 years old.

96
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,153
And I'm a slut.

97
00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:32,113
Okay, I'm going to go
get us a table now, okay?

98
00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:34,488
- Bye, Mama. Thank you.
- Goodbye.

99
00:11:39,331 --> 00:11:40,958
Go ahead. I'm fine.

100
00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:56,943
Excuse me, sir.
Could I use your cellular telephone?

101
00:11:58,017 --> 00:11:59,143
What's the number?

102
00:11:59,251 --> 00:12:01,378
I don't know what number. It's the driver.

103
00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:03,614
- Oh, yes. Could you dial it for me?
- Yes, yes.

104
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:04,985
What is the number?

105
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:07,685
I don't know.
What is his number? I don't know.

106
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:10,556
This happens every time I go to brunch.

107
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:15,426
- Is this okay for now?
- Yes, thank you.

108
00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:27,308
I'm Danger Ehren, here with Thor,
and this is the Mini-Loop.

109
00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:37,651
He can barely ride it.

110
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:41,348
Fuck.

111
00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:42,518
Fuck!

112
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,521
All right, let Thor try it.

113
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:53,538
Come on.

114
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,535
I hit my head pretty hard.

115
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:03,374
Good thing I'm wearing that helmet.
Safety first.

116
00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:05,715
I love that confidence.

117
00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:07,683
I'm not gay but I...
I kind of want to fuck him.

118
00:13:24,336 --> 00:13:26,736
- Come on, Danger, get on it.
- How's the bike?

119
00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:28,329
Bike's good.

120
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,237
He's mocking the loop.

121
00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:49,187
After this movie comes out, you're
totally going to lose your virginity.

122
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:53,026
- You almost pulled it off.
- I don't think dudes count, Chris.

123
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:56,093
Here we are
at some random-ass ranch,

124
00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:57,794
and this is the Brand.

125
00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:00,304
And it's gonna suck.

126
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:04,902
- Drop them.
- Good luck.

127
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:05,977
Christ!

128
00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:08,170
- You have no hair on your ass.
- It is pretty.

129
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,214
- You ready?
- No.

130
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:14,377
- You better get ready quick.
- That is a mini hard dick right there.

131
00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:17,284
Try not to move around. You don't want
to have two of those things on you.

132
00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:20,017
Oh, dear God.
I wasn't bummed for you, till right now.

133
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:21,183
Okay.

134
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,085
If I take it off,
it's gonna go cold in a second.

135
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:24,992
I have to keep it on
until we're ready to film.

136
00:14:25,097 --> 00:14:26,189
Fuck.

137
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:30,225
All right.
You said 10 seconds 20 seconds ago.

138
00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:33,203
Clean him off.

139
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:34,670
- All right, you ready?
- No.

140
00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:36,001
Don't move.

141
00:14:36,108 --> 00:14:39,339
- Go, go, go!
- Don't move.

142
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,436
Press it hard, you idiot!

143
00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:46,008
Fuck! It's good.

144
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:49,053
No, it's not, dude. You got to hold it to it.

145
00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:53,918
Oh, fuck!
Dude, that hurts so fucking bad!

146
00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:57,052
Well, if you didn't jump out of the way,
I would've had it done the first time.

147
00:14:57,162 --> 00:15:01,360
- You should've pressed, you asshole!
- I did press! You went like that!

148
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,766
Fuck! Oh, God damn, that hurt so bad.

149
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,499
Turn around.

150
00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:11,633
I'm not going to burn you again.
I already got you three times.

151
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,679
- Three of them.
- You gave me a hologram dick.

152
00:15:15,614 --> 00:15:19,209
There's three solid dicks,
there's one half-assed one right here

153
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,149
and then you gave me a set of balls.

154
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,517
- But a sweet set of balls.
- Rad.

155
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,086
I'd rather rip my dick off
and throw it in the river

156
00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:28,022
than to do that again.

157
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:29,722
God damn.

158
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:33,860
We're at Ape and Phil's house

159
00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:38,033
and I'm gonna present them
the branded dick on my butt.

160
00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:40,631
Let me rephrase that. Dicks.

161
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:43,675
- Well, I gave him a present.
- What present?

162
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,073
He loved it.

163
00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:47,202
- What?
- It still hurts.

164
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:50,373
- What? What am I looking at?
- He gave me a dick farm on my ass.

165
00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:54,680
Oh, my God! What is that?
What is that?

166
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,550
- I branded his ass.
- It's supposed to be a dick

167
00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:58,748
but he did it six times,
so now I have a dick farm on my ass.

168
00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:01,052
- Is that permanent?
- Yes! Look!

169
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:05,324
- What is that, a tattoo?
- It's a brand. A hot iron for cows.

170
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:07,831
Bam, that is so infected!

171
00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:11,425
That does not look good. Oh, my God,
he's going to have that for life!

172
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:14,472
- You're going to have that for life.
- No shit.

173
00:16:14,873 --> 00:16:18,206
If you have one on there, you should've
made it bigger and more realistic.

174
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,541
- That puny thing's embarrassing.
- Ape, I got a muffed-up-ass butt.

175
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,377
I know, and you had the cutest butt ever
and now you've ruined it.

176
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:26,917
- No, Dick Farm Dunn ruined it.
- Yeah, why'd you ruin it?

177
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:30,079
I tried to do it good. He jumped around.
I was scared. I'm burning my own friend.

178
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:32,453
Why would you burn him
in the first place, Dunn?

179
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:34,048
- Because it was funny.
- It's not funny.

180
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,919
Get ready to be happy,
ladies and gentlemen.

181
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:40,897
Johnny Knoxville is going to jump
the entire lake.

182
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,766
He's amazing.

183
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:58,945
<i>What happened? You were going about
one mile per hour,</i>

184
00:16:59,051 --> 00:17:00,643
<i>then, all of a sudden, 60.</i>

185
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:01,947
<i>I thought you were gonna hang on.</i>

186
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,716
<i>There is no holding on
to that motherfucker.</i>

187
00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:06,313
<i>Oh, my God.</i>

188
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:10,759
<i>Ladies and gentlemen, Mark Zupan
is going to jump the entire lake.</i>

189
00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:15,064
Mark, give our regards
to the folks on the other side.

190
00:17:23,909 --> 00:17:27,675
<i>I thought they forgot to set it off
and then it just took off.</i>

191
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,644
<i>- I don't know what happened.
- I don't either.</i>

192
00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:33,217
<i>- All I know is he almost made it.
- He's a hero.</i>

193
00:17:33,318 --> 00:17:35,616
We're here in England
with Mat Hoffman

194
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:39,657
and he's about to jump
the English Channel into Germany.

195
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:41,292
Good luck, Mat.

196
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:55,971
<i>That was fucking great.</i>

197
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:59,104
<i>What was so great about that?
He didn't even go to Germany.</i>

198
00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:00,701
<i>Oh, my God.</i>

199
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:06,515
It's a lovely day for a swim
in the Gulf of Mexico.

200
00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:09,485
I'm Steve-O, and this is the Fish Hook.

201
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,804
Oh, man, that's gone through. I got you.

202
00:18:38,383 --> 00:18:41,750
- Oh, dude.
- We got it? We're good?

203
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:43,913
That hurt to do that to you.

204
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:47,320
Yeah, it looks great.

205
00:18:48,026 --> 00:18:51,553
- Oh, my God.
- All right, cast me out, God damn it.

206
00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:54,197
Now it's time for some man-fishing.

207
00:18:56,768 --> 00:18:59,032
- The hammerhead's right there.
- Oh, my God.

208
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:02,596
Thank God we brought Manny
to make sure sharks would show up.

209
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:06,144
He's coming to get you, Steve-O.
Act like a sick or wounded animal.

210
00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:08,645
Look at that fin right behind him.

211
00:19:09,381 --> 00:19:12,350
Dude, isn't this movie
supposed to be a comedy?

212
00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:20,354
I can't believe I'm fishing for sharks
with Steve-O as my bait.

213
00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:22,188
It's like a dream come true.

214
00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:23,784
Oh, my God.

215
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:27,257
- Here comes a mako!
- Oh, shit! Steve-O!

216
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,667
Oh, my God.
He's right behind you, Steve-O.

217
00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:37,468
- I am the fuck out of here.
- No, you're good, man.

218
00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:38,941
Stay in there.

219
00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:42,342
The shark's coming right at you!

220
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,181
Oh, shit.

221
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:51,413
- Come on, stay out there, O!
- You already got the fucking shot!

222
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,081
I want to hear Manny scream.

223
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,127
Dude, I fucking kicked the thing
in the fucking head!

224
00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:57,455
Get up here.

225
00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:00,462
<i>Steve-O, do you know
how lucky you are?</i>

226
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:01,897
<i>A mako almost bit your foot off.</i>

227
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,695
<i>I've been so lucky today.</i>

228
00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:10,733
Fuck!

229
00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:15,078
You are lucky.

230
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:19,347
Fuck, that hurts. Damn it.
Thank you so much, God.

231
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:21,850
You bastard.

232
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:38,401
This is champion card-thrower
Jim Karol.

233
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:41,334
He's come to throw cards
into Wee Man's ass.

234
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:45,399
What Wee Man doesn't realize is that
he'll be sitting on the Electric Stool.

235
00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:51,281
God, I hate picking on Wee Man.

236
00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:02,688
- Wee Man, I'd say you're up.
- Jump up on the stool.

237
00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:05,325
All right, on three
I'm gonna whip it at you.

238
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:07,625
You might feel it a little bit, all right?

239
00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:09,894
- On three. Ready?
- Don't worry about it.

240
00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:11,026
One,

241
00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:12,695
two...

242
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,307
Fuck! That fucking...

243
00:21:19,544 --> 00:21:20,568
Did it hit a nerve?

244
00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:24,479
- Dude, it hit, like, right in there.
- Oh, I'm sorry. I threw it too hard.

245
00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:28,383
Try one more. It didn't stick.
He's going to get it to stick.

246
00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:32,553
On three. One,

247
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:33,825
two,

248
00:21:34,426 --> 00:21:35,552
three.

249
00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:40,393
I don't fucking like that, dude.
No, I don't fucking like that, dude.

250
00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:42,433
That fucking hurts, dude.

251
00:21:42,534 --> 00:21:44,024
Tell the camera
exactly what's happening.

252
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:47,196
All right, every time this dude
throws a fucking card in my ass,

253
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,331
it fucking jolts me, so I jump off.

254
00:21:49,441 --> 00:21:51,306
I'm not going to fucking sit there.

255
00:21:51,410 --> 00:21:52,775
- Let me do a pickup shot.
- No.

256
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:55,472
The pickup shot is,
you pinch the card in your butt.

257
00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:57,639
- Just stick it in there so it's sticking out.
- All right.

258
00:21:57,749 --> 00:22:00,718
- Okay, go.
- One, two, three.

259
00:22:05,023 --> 00:22:06,718
It's still in there.

260
00:22:11,029 --> 00:22:14,055
- Jump back up.
- Do you want me to lift you on there?

261
00:22:15,033 --> 00:22:17,695
- Wait...
- Okay, fuckers!

262
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:21,469
No, there's a machine in here
fucking doing it,

263
00:22:21,573 --> 00:22:23,734
you fucking fuckers.

264
00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:26,572
Where's the fucking
card-throwing machine?

265
00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:32,341
Where's the fucking
card-throwing machine, dude?

266
00:22:37,222 --> 00:22:39,690
Show him what it is.
Show him what's funny.

267
00:22:40,592 --> 00:22:43,618
Oh, the fucking chair's rigged!

268
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:49,163
Oh, my God.

269
00:22:55,907 --> 00:22:57,966
There's a card-throwing machine
in here, dude.

270
00:22:58,076 --> 00:23:01,978
Dude, Wee Man, I would never use
a card-throwing machine on you.

271
00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:38,208
<i>That couldn't have gone any better.</i>

272
00:23:38,316 --> 00:23:40,716
<i>I didn't know that
Knoxville could do back flips.</i>

273
00:23:40,819 --> 00:23:42,912
<i>It was, like, a front flip.</i>

274
00:23:43,655 --> 00:23:46,556
- Where do yaks come from?
- That's from Siberia.

275
00:23:49,661 --> 00:23:51,891
So that's why Eskimos
don't have rodeos.

276
00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:53,089
Yeah.

277
00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:58,134
Tell me about your
original drawing for this.

278
00:23:58,236 --> 00:24:01,034
See, when I come up with my ideas,
I don't write them down.

279
00:24:01,139 --> 00:24:05,542
I just draw a picture
and fax it to Los Angeles.

280
00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:07,737
I just drew a picture of a fat-ass

281
00:24:07,846 --> 00:24:10,781
and a little guy
with a bungee cord connected.

282
00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:15,379
Jason, how do you compare this
kind of athleticism to what you guys do?

283
00:24:15,587 --> 00:24:17,111
You guys are
a hell of a lot more athletic than us

284
00:24:17,222 --> 00:24:19,383
and a lot crazier, too.

285
00:24:20,659 --> 00:24:22,786
Dude, look how nervous he is.

286
00:24:23,862 --> 00:24:26,695
We're here in Miami Beach
with Jason Taylor

287
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:28,663
and this is the Bungee Jump.

288
00:24:31,903 --> 00:24:33,768
- Are you ready, Preston?
- Just go! Just go!

289
00:24:33,872 --> 00:24:37,069
Three, two, one...

290
00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:44,615
Yes!

291
00:24:44,716 --> 00:24:46,343
Yes! Yes! Yes!

292
00:24:46,451 --> 00:24:47,816
Oh, my God.

293
00:24:50,555 --> 00:24:53,422
- Preston.
- That worked perfect.

294
00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:57,658
- Did I yank you?
- Oh, fuck, yeah.

295
00:24:57,796 --> 00:25:01,698
Okay, I went down, I'm upside-down,
I see Preston coming.

296
00:25:01,967 --> 00:25:05,130
Once he was past me,
he pulled me down more.

297
00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:07,364
- So, like, I slammed the water.
- Oh, you were above the water?

298
00:25:07,472 --> 00:25:10,373
Yeah, I felt the full pressure
of the bungee.

299
00:25:11,109 --> 00:25:14,943
That was intense. Really intense.
Well, not really intense,

300
00:25:15,447 --> 00:25:17,142
but pretty intense.

301
00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:21,910
- What's your name again?
- What? Irving.

302
00:25:22,020 --> 00:25:24,420
- Irving, yeah.
- Irving Zisman.

303
00:25:31,329 --> 00:25:33,763
Hey, can we get some fries, please?

304
00:25:38,069 --> 00:25:39,627
Sometime today.

305
00:25:45,443 --> 00:25:47,411
There you go. Take a sip.

306
00:25:54,452 --> 00:25:57,012
That'll put lead in your pencil, kid.

307
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:03,618
You got a light?

308
00:26:04,429 --> 00:26:05,987
Shit.

309
00:26:12,938 --> 00:26:15,168
Hey, little guy, is that a real cigarette?

310
00:26:15,273 --> 00:26:17,468
- Piss off, man.
- Is it?

311
00:26:17,576 --> 00:26:19,339
He said, "Piss off!"

312
00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:20,870
Jesus.

313
00:26:21,513 --> 00:26:22,946
Here, Gramps.

314
00:26:23,481 --> 00:26:24,778
Thank you.

315
00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:33,190
Don't hog it all, you little prick.

316
00:26:34,459 --> 00:26:35,892
Give me that.

317
00:26:36,528 --> 00:26:38,553
- This is LA.
- What?

318
00:26:38,663 --> 00:26:40,290
- This is LA.
- Yeah?

319
00:26:40,532 --> 00:26:42,500
- Don't do what?
- We don't drink out in public.

320
00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:44,501
- You don't drink out in public?
- No.

321
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:48,699
- Well, maybe you should start, bub.
- Yeah. Where are you guys from?

322
00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:51,401
- We're from your face.
- Yeah?

323
00:26:53,612 --> 00:26:56,137
- Mind your own business, asshole.
- What?

324
00:26:56,247 --> 00:26:58,272
I said,
"Mind your own business, asshole."

325
00:26:58,383 --> 00:27:01,580
- Okay, you'd better be quiet, buddy.
- What are you gonna do?

326
00:27:01,686 --> 00:27:05,178
- You wanna step outside?
- We're already outside, numbnuts.

327
00:27:06,825 --> 00:27:09,521
He asked me if I wanted to step outside.

328
00:27:11,663 --> 00:27:15,030
- You are from LA, ain't you, boy?
- Do you want to go around the block?

329
00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:16,828
Yeah, we'll go around the block.

330
00:27:16,935 --> 00:27:19,904
We'll go around the block
and see your mother.

331
00:27:20,071 --> 00:27:22,596
This is bullshit.
We're surrounded by cocksuckers.

332
00:27:22,707 --> 00:27:26,143
All right, kid.
It's time for Grandpa's massage.

333
00:27:27,045 --> 00:27:28,307
You get massages
with happy endings?

334
00:27:28,413 --> 00:27:29,573
That's right.

335
00:27:29,681 --> 00:27:32,445
- Say goodbye to the hippies.
- Bye, hippies.

336
00:27:33,818 --> 00:27:36,218
- Don't get beat up out here.
- "Beat up out here"?

337
00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:40,655
I don't have to worry about that in LA.
Not with you skinny sons of bitches.

338
00:27:40,759 --> 00:27:43,751
Okay, Old Man River.
Watch your mouth.

339
00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:46,564
I hear a lot of talking.

340
00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:50,765
You're letting that bulldog mouth
overload that puppy-dog ass.

341
00:27:53,171 --> 00:27:54,365
Look at him. Look how tough he is.

342
00:27:54,472 --> 00:27:56,133
You allow your nine-year-old son
to drink?

343
00:27:56,241 --> 00:27:58,573
- It's my grandson.
- I don't give a fuck.

344
00:27:58,710 --> 00:28:02,202
Wow, now you swear in front of him?
What kind of role model are you?

345
00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:03,974
What kind of role model are you?

346
00:28:04,082 --> 00:28:05,811
Get the fuck out of here
and go back to Mississippi.

347
00:28:05,917 --> 00:28:08,511
Step over this line.
Just step over that line.

348
00:28:08,620 --> 00:28:11,248
- Oh! You stepped over the line!
- I didn't step over a line.

349
00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:13,290
You stepped over the line.

350
00:28:13,825 --> 00:28:16,794
That long hair
don't cover that red neck, boy.

351
00:28:18,830 --> 00:28:20,058
Piss off!

352
00:28:20,565 --> 00:28:23,500
- Let's go.
- Go crawl back in your mama's ass!

353
00:28:25,970 --> 00:28:29,633
What the fuck is that?
What the hell is that?

354
00:28:29,741 --> 00:28:30,833
We're sledding.

355
00:28:30,975 --> 00:28:34,536
- Bam, what the hell are you doing?
- We're sledding.

356
00:28:34,646 --> 00:28:36,807
- Give me a ten!
- What about my floor?

357
00:28:43,755 --> 00:28:47,486
- How's your belly feeling, dude?
- I'm just a diarrhea machine.

358
00:28:47,659 --> 00:28:50,822
- Is it like a baby? Is it kicking?
- It's very similar to a baby.

359
00:28:50,929 --> 00:28:52,692
- Is it kicking?
- No, come on! No.

360
00:28:52,797 --> 00:28:54,731
Seriously, I'm not joking. Seriously.

361
00:28:54,833 --> 00:28:57,267
Are you gonna shit?
Wouldn't you feel better?

362
00:28:57,368 --> 00:28:59,233
We have a whole wardrobe van.

363
00:28:59,337 --> 00:29:01,862
I don't want a new wardrobe.
I just wanna not shit my pants.

364
00:29:01,973 --> 00:29:04,533
So, the boys think they're
arriving in a limo for a photo shoot,

365
00:29:04,642 --> 00:29:05,734
but little do they know,

366
00:29:05,844 --> 00:29:08,312
we have a shitload of bees
we're going to put through the sun roof.

367
00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:10,813
And we rigged the locks
so they can't get out.

368
00:29:10,915 --> 00:29:13,281
And when they do get out,
we got a couple of marbles for them.

369
00:29:13,818 --> 00:29:15,615
This is the Beehive Limo.

370
00:29:16,187 --> 00:29:19,816
<i>Last movie, you shit in a damn van
and now you get to shit in a limo.</i>

371
00:29:19,924 --> 00:29:23,792
<i>Yeah, you're stepping it up.
You're stepping it up, dude.</i>

372
00:29:28,566 --> 00:29:29,897
Oh, this isn't good.

373
00:29:30,001 --> 00:29:32,026
Dude, close that fucking sun roof, dude!

374
00:29:32,137 --> 00:29:34,196
Fuck! Fuck! We're locked in!

375
00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:58,562
Oh, my God, that sucks!

376
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:04,966
They're fucking stinging my legs!

377
00:30:07,772 --> 00:30:11,503
Get the fuck off of me, dude!
You're getting them over here.

378
00:30:35,133 --> 00:30:37,761
You guys are fucking dicks, man. Fuck.

379
00:30:39,537 --> 00:30:40,970
They're on my feet!

380
00:30:47,412 --> 00:30:50,404
The poor driver's running around,
freaking out.

381
00:30:51,115 --> 00:30:52,639
That's so good.

382
00:30:53,084 --> 00:30:54,483
Sorry, bros.

383
00:30:55,053 --> 00:30:56,350
I pissed myself.

384
00:30:56,454 --> 00:30:59,446
One just got me, right now,
as we speak. Look at that.

385
00:30:59,991 --> 00:31:01,049
Fuck.

386
00:31:01,893 --> 00:31:05,829
- That was real funny, fuckers.
- Is there even a photo shoot?

387
00:31:07,832 --> 00:31:12,064
We're here with the Three 6 Mafia,
and it's time for the Rake Jump.

388
00:31:12,737 --> 00:31:13,897
Do it!

389
00:31:20,144 --> 00:31:21,543
What an idiot.

390
00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:26,642
I'm going to pay this motherfucker
right here 200 smackeroos,

391
00:31:26,985 --> 00:31:30,819
it's not counterfeit, it's real,
to eat horse shit.

392
00:31:31,122 --> 00:31:32,453
But it's all furry, though.

393
00:31:32,557 --> 00:31:35,185
- Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!
- Go! Go! Go! Go!

394
00:31:37,595 --> 00:31:39,358
Really eat it, though.
Chew, chew, chew!

395
00:31:39,464 --> 00:31:40,897
Swallow it!

396
00:31:40,999 --> 00:31:43,627
- Put your shades up!
- Hold the 200.

397
00:31:43,735 --> 00:31:47,102
- Come on, soldier!
- Don't even think about not swallowing.

398
00:31:47,205 --> 00:31:48,672
It's so dry!

399
00:31:50,942 --> 00:31:52,705
Don't even think about it!

400
00:31:52,810 --> 00:31:55,643
- Swallow it!
- Don't you even think about it.

401
00:31:55,747 --> 00:31:57,738
Don't you even think about it.

402
00:31:57,849 --> 00:32:00,613
- He ain't soft!
- Swallow it! Swallow it, nigga!

403
00:32:00,785 --> 00:32:04,448
Give him a beer, give him a beer.
Give it to him, give it to him!

404
00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:06,587
Really eat it, though.

405
00:32:08,226 --> 00:32:10,251
- I'm watching you.
- Yes, sir.

406
00:32:11,162 --> 00:32:12,424
Here, man.

407
00:32:14,332 --> 00:32:16,357
Dude, your breath smells like shit!

408
00:32:46,264 --> 00:32:50,200
We're here with Daniel Alvarez
from ALS Technologies and...

409
00:32:51,069 --> 00:32:53,333
Why don't you explain what this is
and what we're gonna be doing?

410
00:32:53,438 --> 00:32:56,134
Well, this is the 460 Stingmore Mine.

411
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,573
It has approximately 700
.45-caliber rubber balls in it.

412
00:32:59,677 --> 00:33:02,237
They'll fly out of there
at about 500 feet per second.

413
00:33:02,347 --> 00:33:06,181
They use these charges
on the outside of embassies

414
00:33:06,384 --> 00:33:09,649
to protect the gates
from people trying to break in.

415
00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:12,585
- Looks like it's gonna suck.
- It is. I promise.

416
00:33:12,690 --> 00:33:14,157
Fire in the hole.

417
00:33:17,729 --> 00:33:20,596
- Fuck that, dude.
- Fucking Christ!

418
00:33:21,299 --> 00:33:22,766
That is great!

419
00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:27,266
I'm about to, like,
have an anxiety attack.

420
00:33:27,705 --> 00:33:30,765
I just can't do this one.
It's just too gnarly.

421
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,772
Dude, Knoxville is...

422
00:33:33,144 --> 00:33:35,738
If Knoxville goes in there, dude,

423
00:33:37,515 --> 00:33:39,210
I'll French kiss him.

424
00:33:39,417 --> 00:33:42,181
- Are you insane?
- No. All you got to do is stand there.

425
00:33:42,286 --> 00:33:44,846
Yeah, and get killed. Look at that thing.
That thing blew the hell up.

426
00:33:44,956 --> 00:33:48,392
It's just loud. It's loud. It's going to hurt
really bad, but it's just loud.

427
00:33:48,493 --> 00:33:49,551
You're nuts.

428
00:33:49,660 --> 00:33:52,390
- No, no, no. Come on. It's footage.
- You're nuts.

429
00:34:07,745 --> 00:34:09,474
Son of a... Fuck you.

430
00:34:11,849 --> 00:34:13,612
Holy shit!

431
00:34:14,419 --> 00:34:17,877
<i>All you guys are fucking assholes.</i>

432
00:34:18,656 --> 00:34:20,715
- You all right, Bam?
- You all right?

433
00:34:20,825 --> 00:34:21,951
My God.

434
00:34:22,493 --> 00:34:24,620
- Are you crying?
- I think he's hurt.

435
00:34:25,196 --> 00:34:27,858
Can we give Bam some water?

436
00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:29,996
Maybe a Shirley Temple.

437
00:34:30,101 --> 00:34:33,070
I'm crying. I'm a fucking skateboarder
and I'm getting shot.

438
00:34:33,438 --> 00:34:35,303
They all went for my stomach.

439
00:34:36,207 --> 00:34:38,334
I got hit in the legs worse.

440
00:34:38,709 --> 00:34:40,973
Those... Did any get me in the face?

441
00:34:41,546 --> 00:34:44,174
You got hit in the stomach pretty good.

442
00:34:44,949 --> 00:34:47,144
- That was great.
- That was.

443
00:34:47,251 --> 00:34:48,946
- Thanks, fellows.
- Yeah. Appreciate it.

444
00:34:49,053 --> 00:34:50,645
Hey, is this okay?

445
00:34:51,289 --> 00:34:52,847
Then we're good.

446
00:34:57,962 --> 00:35:00,021
Do you like painting models?

447
00:35:00,565 --> 00:35:02,760
Yeah, but I don't need models
for this type of work.

448
00:35:02,867 --> 00:35:03,959
Okay.

449
00:35:04,669 --> 00:35:08,127
- It looks very vaginal and feminine.
- Well, thank you.

450
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:09,570
- And sexual.
- Thank you.

451
00:35:09,674 --> 00:35:12,234
- Yes, thank you. It's beautiful.
- Thank you.

452
00:35:14,312 --> 00:35:16,940
It's time to play a game
with a bunch of these medicine balls.

453
00:35:17,048 --> 00:35:18,948
And they're heavy as shit.

454
00:35:20,852 --> 00:35:22,046
It's on!

455
00:35:23,454 --> 00:35:26,321
- This is Medicine Ball Dodgeball.
- In the dark.

456
00:35:54,252 --> 00:35:55,913
Can't see anything.

457
00:36:14,805 --> 00:36:18,434
- What did you think?
- That was fun. Let's never do that again.

458
00:36:18,543 --> 00:36:19,601
Ever!

459
00:36:23,481 --> 00:36:25,847
<i>Three, two, one!</i>

460
00:36:28,319 --> 00:36:29,286
Holy...

461
00:36:30,254 --> 00:36:33,052
Who'd want to do that?
You're not doing that.

462
00:36:33,157 --> 00:36:35,216
- Who's going first?
- What rhymes with Dunn?

463
00:36:35,326 --> 00:36:36,520
Fun.

464
00:36:37,695 --> 00:36:39,390
- Ready, sailor?
- No.

465
00:36:40,164 --> 00:36:43,361
- This is dumb.
- This is going to be dope.

466
00:36:44,135 --> 00:36:45,102
Oh, my gosh.

467
00:36:46,837 --> 00:36:48,327
Oh, my God. Oh, jeez.

468
00:36:48,439 --> 00:36:50,100
Get me out of this!

469
00:36:50,474 --> 00:36:52,339
You're a fucking dick.

470
00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:53,544
That was mean.

471
00:36:53,644 --> 00:36:54,611
He needs help.

472
00:36:54,745 --> 00:36:55,712
That was so mean.

473
00:36:55,846 --> 00:36:57,643
You are an asshole.

474
00:36:57,748 --> 00:37:00,683
That was totally not me.
I had nothing to do with it.

475
00:37:00,818 --> 00:37:02,217
You pulled it down!

476
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:03,378
I didn't!

477
00:37:04,288 --> 00:37:06,722
Oh, my God, my hip. I think I gave birth.

478
00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:11,153
Hi, I'm John Waters,
and this is the Magic Trick.

479
00:37:11,596 --> 00:37:13,962
We're gonna make Wee Man disappear.

480
00:37:22,707 --> 00:37:24,197
Where'd he go?

481
00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:32,177
Very nice.

482
00:37:32,617 --> 00:37:34,050
That's great.

483
00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:38,517
You're the best magician ever, John.

484
00:37:38,623 --> 00:37:40,488
Thank you so much. Thank you.

485
00:37:46,097 --> 00:37:47,359
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville

486
00:37:47,465 --> 00:37:49,729
and I'm here with Mat Hoffman
and Tony Hawk

487
00:37:49,834 --> 00:37:51,597
and this is the Gauntlet.

488
00:38:24,101 --> 00:38:26,296
I just gave him a chest pass!

489
00:39:25,763 --> 00:39:27,230
Open the windows!

490
00:39:30,325 --> 00:39:32,190
This is the Toro Totter.

491
00:39:32,393 --> 00:39:35,260
It's me and Pontius Vs. Dunn and Bam

492
00:39:35,864 --> 00:39:38,890
and the last man on the teeter-totter
is the winner.

493
00:39:39,033 --> 00:39:40,967
It's gonna be a bloodbath.

494
00:39:42,704 --> 00:39:43,864
Oh, yes!

495
00:39:57,685 --> 00:39:59,152
What did I do?

496
00:40:00,955 --> 00:40:02,183
What did I do?

497
00:40:14,469 --> 00:40:15,936
Dunn, stay there!

498
00:40:16,070 --> 00:40:18,231
So why did I agree to do this one?

499
00:40:28,616 --> 00:40:30,379
Ryan, run! Ryan, run!

500
00:40:30,985 --> 00:40:32,213
My God.

501
00:40:34,122 --> 00:40:35,180
Shit.

502
00:40:37,392 --> 00:40:39,360
Bam, where are you going?

503
00:40:39,794 --> 00:40:41,591
I am not doing that.

504
00:40:41,729 --> 00:40:43,026
Fuck that.

505
00:40:43,631 --> 00:40:45,030
Down to two!

506
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:48,259
I got hit in the back good.

507
00:40:51,973 --> 00:40:54,373
Hey, Knoxville. Oh, shit!

508
00:40:54,542 --> 00:40:58,069
God damn it. Fucking shit. Fuck.

509
00:40:58,179 --> 00:41:00,647
- You all right?
- Yeah. Hold on.

510
00:41:00,815 --> 00:41:04,148
What do you mean, "Hold on"?
The bull's not going to hold on.

511
00:41:06,621 --> 00:41:09,488
Oh, my fucking leg!
God damn, these bulls are strong.

512
00:41:19,334 --> 00:41:20,323
Oh, God.

513
00:41:20,435 --> 00:41:22,232
I'm not out!

514
00:41:22,470 --> 00:41:23,835
Oh, my God.

515
00:41:25,974 --> 00:41:27,635
I'm still not out!

516
00:41:34,482 --> 00:41:36,712
All right, that's it. That's it.

517
00:42:07,615 --> 00:42:09,105
Oh, my God.

518
00:42:09,217 --> 00:42:11,310
Keep God out of California!

519
00:42:12,553 --> 00:42:15,613
Tell Charlie Daniels
to write a song about this!

520
00:42:15,923 --> 00:42:19,086
God is out! He can have the other 48.

521
00:42:19,527 --> 00:42:21,119
Or 49, whatever.

522
00:42:21,896 --> 00:42:26,731
God, I landed straight on my head.
Oh, man, that hurt.

523
00:42:27,502 --> 00:42:29,060
Dude, I'm fucked.

524
00:42:33,741 --> 00:42:36,232
I'm Steve-O and sorry, Dad,

525
00:42:36,344 --> 00:42:38,539
but nobody's going to miss this
for the world.

526
00:42:38,646 --> 00:42:40,273
This is the Butt Chug.

527
00:42:42,817 --> 00:42:44,114
Oh, no.

528
00:42:44,218 --> 00:42:46,880
- I'll hold this while you bulldog it.
- Get it in there.

529
00:42:46,988 --> 00:42:50,151
- Ram it in there.
- It's really got to get in there.

530
00:42:56,831 --> 00:42:59,391
- Open wide!
- Oh, my God.

531
00:43:01,302 --> 00:43:02,269
Take it.

532
00:43:02,370 --> 00:43:06,101
Just relax. Relax. Yeah, do your little...

533
00:43:06,207 --> 00:43:10,075
I'm staring right down Main Street.
It's not looking any good at all.

534
00:43:12,013 --> 00:43:13,412
You're starting to enjoy that, aren't you?

535
00:43:13,514 --> 00:43:16,779
- Oh, shit.
- There it goes! There it goes!

536
00:43:16,951 --> 00:43:18,748
- Keep it going.
- There we go.

537
00:43:19,854 --> 00:43:21,048
Chug, chug it!

538
00:43:21,155 --> 00:43:23,055
- Take it all!
- Oh, yeah!

539
00:43:23,157 --> 00:43:25,717
- Take it.
- I think your asshole's prehensile.

540
00:43:25,860 --> 00:43:27,794
You got it! You got it!

541
00:43:28,896 --> 00:43:33,856
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

542
00:43:38,072 --> 00:43:40,131
You got this! Keep on going!

543
00:43:40,708 --> 00:43:42,198
Come on, you've almost got it!

544
00:43:42,310 --> 00:43:43,971
Two more sips left.

545
00:43:50,918 --> 00:43:53,182
- Oh, my God.
- Give me a profile, Steve.

546
00:43:55,857 --> 00:43:57,825
He's peeing like a girl!

547
00:43:58,793 --> 00:44:00,886
Steve-O, if your asshole
can't see the camera,

548
00:44:00,995 --> 00:44:03,327
then the camera can't see your asshole.

549
00:44:04,499 --> 00:44:07,991
- The camera's over here!
- Right there, right there, right there.

550
00:44:08,569 --> 00:44:11,629
Look at Lance!
Lance can't stop laughing.

551
00:44:15,276 --> 00:44:18,905
He's doesn't know how to face
the cameras when he's peeing.

552
00:44:21,315 --> 00:44:22,680
Oh, my God.

553
00:44:24,519 --> 00:44:26,987
- I think we broke Lance.
- I know.

554
00:44:28,789 --> 00:44:31,349
I think I still have beer in my ass,
but I can't get it out.

555
00:44:31,459 --> 00:44:33,689
Use the bottle.
Put the bottle up your ass.

556
00:44:33,794 --> 00:44:36,854
- Use the plunger!
- Yeah, plunge his asshole.

557
00:44:37,098 --> 00:44:39,362
You'd better shit piss, asswipe!

558
00:44:56,384 --> 00:44:58,648
All right, let's go to the bar.

559
00:45:10,398 --> 00:45:11,558
Perfect.

560
00:45:12,133 --> 00:45:13,225
Fuck.

561
00:45:15,203 --> 00:45:17,671
I'm Ryan Dunn,
and this is the Rocket Cart.

562
00:45:17,772 --> 00:45:21,936
Five, four, three, two, one...

563
00:45:22,043 --> 00:45:23,032
Bye-bye.

564
00:45:35,456 --> 00:45:38,892
<i>- I think I broke my tailbone.
- Really? On the water?</i>

565
00:45:41,462 --> 00:45:44,659
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville
and this is the Anaconda Ball Pit.

566
00:45:45,299 --> 00:45:46,857
Oh, fuck!

567
00:45:48,069 --> 00:45:50,629
I have on a cup and that still hurts.

568
00:45:56,978 --> 00:46:00,141
Anacondas are expert at camouflage.
They're ambush hunters.

569
00:46:00,248 --> 00:46:02,910
- So, what does that mean?
- They surprise you.

570
00:46:03,017 --> 00:46:05,542
I don't know
if I'm gonna be that surprised.

571
00:46:05,653 --> 00:46:10,215
You guys got to catch these guys, man.
They tried to kill J-Lo and Ice Cube.

572
00:46:12,426 --> 00:46:14,189
Yeah, I know. I know.

573
00:46:15,563 --> 00:46:18,225
- Something in your mike?
- Don't fucking push me.

574
00:46:18,599 --> 00:46:19,896
I'm on your team.

575
00:46:24,105 --> 00:46:25,436
You got him.

576
00:46:28,643 --> 00:46:30,338
Get the other camera.

577
00:46:31,512 --> 00:46:32,479
Grab him.

578
00:46:34,015 --> 00:46:34,982
Fuck!

579
00:46:37,385 --> 00:46:38,352
Oh, man.

580
00:46:38,519 --> 00:46:40,544
- Dude, he is bleeding a lot.
- Yeah.

581
00:46:40,655 --> 00:46:42,316
He's starting to smell you guys.

582
00:46:42,423 --> 00:46:44,891
Dude, you guys are doing excellent.

583
00:46:45,159 --> 00:46:47,150
Real good. You guys got it.

584
00:46:47,261 --> 00:46:48,728
Get him. You got him.

585
00:46:52,433 --> 00:46:54,128
Got him! You guys got him.

586
00:46:54,268 --> 00:46:56,736
Oh, no, Dunn's getting coiled. Oh, shit.

587
00:46:57,405 --> 00:46:59,600
Get your fucking hands off me!

588
00:47:07,948 --> 00:47:09,848
You guys have been doing good.

589
00:47:09,950 --> 00:47:12,384
- Where'd his head go?
- He's buried.

590
00:47:15,990 --> 00:47:17,651
- You got him!
- Yeah!

591
00:47:18,225 --> 00:47:20,420
- I have seized the snake.
- Yeah.

592
00:47:23,230 --> 00:47:25,357
It's fucking wrapped around my arm.

593
00:47:30,404 --> 00:47:32,838
Just take him to Manny.
Take him to Manny.

594
00:47:32,940 --> 00:47:34,908
Hey, Manny, come here a minute.

595
00:47:37,011 --> 00:47:38,740
I got him.

596
00:47:42,083 --> 00:47:43,846
Oh, my God, you got nailed.

597
00:47:43,951 --> 00:47:45,919
I didn't do anything. He did all the work.

598
00:47:46,020 --> 00:47:48,284
All right. We seized the snake.

599
00:47:49,924 --> 00:47:51,448
Run, Ryan, run.

600
00:47:53,661 --> 00:47:56,425
Oh, shit.
We forgot about the other snake.

601
00:48:13,180 --> 00:48:14,875
This is the Ice Horse.

602
00:48:15,015 --> 00:48:18,075
See if your balls will stick to the horse.

603
00:48:18,185 --> 00:48:19,982
- Come on!
- You want me to do it?

604
00:48:20,087 --> 00:48:21,145
For the bros.

605
00:48:21,555 --> 00:48:23,250
It's for the bros. Come on.

606
00:48:23,357 --> 00:48:25,655
- It's not gonna stick.
- Yeah, it can stick.

607
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:27,887
You just need a little water.

608
00:48:28,329 --> 00:48:30,229
Anybody got some water?

609
00:48:31,832 --> 00:48:33,823
- Great.
- Thanks!

610
00:48:33,934 --> 00:48:35,993
Don't think about it. Just do it.

611
00:48:36,137 --> 00:48:37,729
You are assholes.

612
00:48:40,341 --> 00:48:42,206
God, your legs are white.

613
00:48:42,309 --> 00:48:45,710
Here. You've got to really
get the water on the balls.

614
00:48:47,515 --> 00:48:50,484
Oh, that's horrible-looking!

615
00:49:02,229 --> 00:49:03,958
It's yanking my hair!

616
00:49:05,733 --> 00:49:07,166
Are you done?

617
00:49:09,403 --> 00:49:10,961
- What an ass!
- Oh, my God!

618
00:49:11,739 --> 00:49:13,570
It ripped my skin off.

619
00:49:14,875 --> 00:49:16,638
Look at the blister.

620
00:49:17,011 --> 00:49:18,308
Look at him gallop.

621
00:49:19,013 --> 00:49:22,505
Hey! There's poop, hair and more poop!

622
00:49:26,220 --> 00:49:28,780
I'm Wee Man,
and this is the Swamp Chute.

623
00:49:45,606 --> 00:49:47,233
Holy shit, dude. You all right?

624
00:49:47,341 --> 00:49:49,332
What? I can't hear, kind of.

625
00:49:49,443 --> 00:49:51,104
"I can't hear, kind of"!

626
00:49:51,212 --> 00:49:53,373
<i>You skipped across the water
like a rock.</i>

627
00:49:53,481 --> 00:49:56,644
<i>Dude, you were at least
an 80-mile-an-hour fastball.</i>

628
00:49:57,051 --> 00:49:58,313
<i>Oh, my God.</i>

629
00:49:58,619 --> 00:50:01,452
When you step into this suit,
magic happens.

630
00:50:04,959 --> 00:50:07,325
Today, we're in Carmen de Arrico

631
00:50:07,428 --> 00:50:10,522
with our friend Serg,
and he is going to show us

632
00:50:10,631 --> 00:50:11,928
how to milk a horse.

633
00:50:12,466 --> 00:50:14,024
The way we're gonna do that is,

634
00:50:14,134 --> 00:50:17,968
they're gonna bring over a stallion
who's gonna be hot to trot.

635
00:50:18,239 --> 00:50:19,968
And they're gonna have the mare here.

636
00:50:20,074 --> 00:50:22,474
And as soon as the stallion
mounts the mare,

637
00:50:22,576 --> 00:50:25,067
we're going to grab the stallion's penis

638
00:50:25,379 --> 00:50:28,007
and put it into this fake horse vagina.

639
00:50:28,349 --> 00:50:30,044
The old switcheroo.

640
00:50:30,217 --> 00:50:31,878
What a mean trick.

641
00:50:32,786 --> 00:50:35,277
- Here we go.
- Here comes the stallion.

642
00:50:36,123 --> 00:50:38,353
He's got the craziest look in his eye.

643
00:50:38,459 --> 00:50:41,360
I've seen that same look
in your eye, Pontius.

644
00:50:41,729 --> 00:50:43,321
It's game on, guys.

645
00:50:46,166 --> 00:50:47,997
Oh, boy. Here we go. Here we go.

646
00:50:49,503 --> 00:50:50,629
Oh, boy.

647
00:50:51,772 --> 00:50:55,037
Okay. We got the penis
into the fake horsy vagina.

648
00:50:56,377 --> 00:50:58,572
I think I feel the tip of it.

649
00:50:58,679 --> 00:51:00,704
Somebody cradle the balls.

650
00:51:08,956 --> 00:51:11,322
He lasts longer than you, Steve-O.

651
00:51:12,927 --> 00:51:14,155
Success!

652
00:51:15,729 --> 00:51:18,789
- Oh, my God.
- He just pleasured a horse.

653
00:51:21,235 --> 00:51:22,930
Is it okay to drink?

654
00:51:24,905 --> 00:51:25,997
Yeah.

655
00:51:26,106 --> 00:51:27,334
No problem.

656
00:51:28,442 --> 00:51:31,934
If I do this, this gives me an out
for something bad

657
00:51:32,079 --> 00:51:33,046
I'm going to do in the future.

658
00:51:33,147 --> 00:51:34,307
Absolutely. Absolutely.

659
00:51:34,415 --> 00:51:36,610
- All right. It's on video.
- Okay.

660
00:51:36,917 --> 00:51:38,885
That is such a huge load.

661
00:51:39,286 --> 00:51:42,084
I don't know, man.
I could have pictured...

662
00:51:45,593 --> 00:51:47,652
Can you test that out?

663
00:51:58,806 --> 00:52:00,740
That's semen, all right.

664
00:52:04,445 --> 00:52:07,881
I never puke, ever,
and I really almost puked then.

665
00:52:08,749 --> 00:52:10,546
I'm ashamed of myself.

666
00:52:10,884 --> 00:52:12,249
I really am.

667
00:52:12,553 --> 00:52:14,885
I'm completely ashamed of myself.

668
00:52:16,490 --> 00:52:19,323
- Ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready. Are you ready?

669
00:52:19,460 --> 00:52:22,190
You're not going to
break through, anyway.

670
00:52:25,566 --> 00:52:27,227
Pontius, you think
you can do two boards?

671
00:52:27,334 --> 00:52:28,323
Yeah.

672
00:52:28,435 --> 00:52:31,336
What's Bruce Lee do?
That power-breathing.

673
00:52:31,672 --> 00:52:33,230
I think I got it.

674
00:52:40,414 --> 00:52:41,711
Oh, my God!

675
00:52:47,254 --> 00:52:49,222
I was so not ready for that!

676
00:52:51,625 --> 00:52:52,853
We're at the Widowmaker

677
00:52:52,993 --> 00:52:55,154
and this is the Big Tire Race.

678
00:52:59,133 --> 00:53:00,657
- I can't get in this thing.
- Yes, you can.

679
00:53:00,768 --> 00:53:02,827
I guarantee you're getting in it.

680
00:53:04,405 --> 00:53:05,565
Oh, crap.

681
00:53:05,739 --> 00:53:07,138
- On your mark!
- Fuck!

682
00:53:07,841 --> 00:53:09,240
Get set! Go!

683
00:53:09,343 --> 00:53:11,402
- You are fucked.
- Oh, shit!

684
00:53:34,835 --> 00:53:36,234
I'm stuck in here!

685
00:53:36,336 --> 00:53:37,303
Dude.

686
00:53:37,404 --> 00:53:39,031
We got you, buddy.

687
00:53:41,008 --> 00:53:43,442
I hate that. I hate it so bad!

688
00:53:44,478 --> 00:53:45,502
Fucking sucky.

689
00:53:45,612 --> 00:53:49,070
- Why do you hate it?
- I'm bouncing in my fucking head.

690
00:53:49,883 --> 00:53:52,147
- You got it, Ehren.
- Here, Ehren.

691
00:53:53,821 --> 00:53:57,450
- Jesus Christ, you got a fat fucking ass.
- You got to help!

692
00:54:01,328 --> 00:54:02,295
Oh, fuck!

693
00:54:04,865 --> 00:54:07,129
We're here in India
and we found a leech healer

694
00:54:07,234 --> 00:54:09,065
and these boys need a little healing.

695
00:54:09,369 --> 00:54:11,894
- Doc, can you help us?
- Yeah, why not?

696
00:54:21,014 --> 00:54:22,845
That sounds good.
Let's put one on Dave's nut.

697
00:54:27,821 --> 00:54:29,482
Well, don't hand it to me.

698
00:54:30,858 --> 00:54:31,825
All right, gentlemen.

699
00:54:32,092 --> 00:54:34,117
That's the biggest leech I ever saw.

700
00:54:34,228 --> 00:54:36,253
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!

701
00:54:43,537 --> 00:54:45,095
- Oh, my God.
- My God.

702
00:54:46,473 --> 00:54:47,462
No!

703
00:54:51,845 --> 00:54:53,335
He's on. He's on.

704
00:54:54,047 --> 00:54:55,378
He's on. He's on.

705
00:54:56,283 --> 00:54:57,682
Fuck! Shit!

706
00:54:57,785 --> 00:54:58,911
Help.

707
00:55:01,488 --> 00:55:04,013
You got to leave it on for a while.

708
00:55:05,325 --> 00:55:06,622
Fuck this.

709
00:55:07,194 --> 00:55:09,059
You got to leave it on.

710
00:55:09,763 --> 00:55:11,424
You got to let...

711
00:55:12,466 --> 00:55:13,865
Fucking shit.

712
00:55:14,401 --> 00:55:16,198
Please, take it off me.

713
00:55:16,470 --> 00:55:18,734
- Please, will you take it off me?
- All right, I'm gonna take it off!

714
00:55:18,839 --> 00:55:19,806
Please.

715
00:55:19,940 --> 00:55:21,430
- Don't worry about a thing.
- Take it off.

716
00:55:21,542 --> 00:55:22,941
- Just get it off me.
- This is gonna be so funny.

717
00:55:23,043 --> 00:55:24,943
Just get it the fuck off me.

718
00:55:31,251 --> 00:55:33,378
Wait, let's see what you got.

719
00:55:34,054 --> 00:55:35,146
Fuck you!

720
00:55:36,123 --> 00:55:37,090
Fuck!

721
00:55:40,260 --> 00:55:43,696
And now for the grand finale,
the leech monocle.

722
00:55:46,166 --> 00:55:47,428
Thanks, Doc.

723
00:55:47,534 --> 00:55:49,627
- Jesus Christ.
- Look over here. Look over here.

724
00:55:49,736 --> 00:55:52,170
Okay, this is the mouth.

725
00:55:53,073 --> 00:55:54,165
Here we go.

726
00:55:56,476 --> 00:55:57,738
Get him on there.

727
00:55:57,845 --> 00:55:59,676
Come on, leech.

728
00:56:07,187 --> 00:56:08,882
Oh, he's eyeballing you.

729
00:56:08,989 --> 00:56:09,978
I think we'd...

730
00:56:10,090 --> 00:56:11,250
He's on my eyeball!

731
00:56:11,358 --> 00:56:12,848
No, wait, wait!

732
00:56:13,727 --> 00:56:16,252
Okay, stand up and keep your eye open.

733
00:56:16,630 --> 00:56:19,622
Keep your eye open.
Keep your eye open, Steve-O!

734
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:21,461
Steve-O, keep your eye open! Open!

735
00:56:21,602 --> 00:56:23,536
Open! Open, toward... No!

736
00:56:23,637 --> 00:56:24,661
Look!

737
00:56:25,539 --> 00:56:26,972
Relax. Relax.

738
00:56:37,851 --> 00:56:39,182
Does it look cool?

739
00:56:39,286 --> 00:56:41,652
Yeah. It got you about right there.

740
00:56:41,755 --> 00:56:44,155
I just had a leech chomp my eyeball.

741
00:56:44,258 --> 00:56:45,282
Yes!

742
00:56:46,026 --> 00:56:47,288
Way to go.

743
00:56:50,731 --> 00:56:52,323
Are these all for sale today?

744
00:56:52,432 --> 00:56:53,831
Yeah. $5.

745
00:56:53,934 --> 00:56:56,334
Oh, why, they're beautiful shirts.

746
00:56:56,737 --> 00:56:58,637
They're beautiful colors.

747
00:56:59,439 --> 00:57:01,270
This one's really nice.

748
00:57:08,615 --> 00:57:10,845
- Do you think that...
- Oh, shit.

749
00:57:11,285 --> 00:57:13,185
I'd like to buy, maybe, the one...

750
00:57:13,287 --> 00:57:14,652
Hey, your titty out.

751
00:57:14,755 --> 00:57:17,189
- What's that?
- He said your shirt is open.

752
00:57:18,458 --> 00:57:19,584
Put this shirt on?

753
00:57:19,693 --> 00:57:20,785
No, your shirt...

754
00:57:20,894 --> 00:57:23,795
Your thing is hanging out of your
shirt, ma'am. What are you doing?

755
00:57:23,897 --> 00:57:25,762
Put your shirt back on.

756
00:57:25,966 --> 00:57:27,957
Which one was the one you thought
I should get?

757
00:57:28,068 --> 00:57:29,035
Leave me alone!

758
00:57:31,905 --> 00:57:33,702
Bam is absolutely terrified of snakes,

759
00:57:33,807 --> 00:57:36,367
so we brought David Weathers here
to surprise him during the next bit.

760
00:57:37,477 --> 00:57:38,739
King cobra.

761
00:57:39,046 --> 00:57:40,172
Jesus...

762
00:57:41,715 --> 00:57:43,012
Oh, my God.

763
00:57:43,283 --> 00:57:45,478
It's cool. It's been devenomized.

764
00:57:51,725 --> 00:57:54,250
I'm Bam Margera
and this is the Wind Tunnel.

765
00:58:06,573 --> 00:58:08,404
Oh, my God. What?

766
00:58:14,681 --> 00:58:16,649
Bam, cock out. Cock out.

767
00:58:17,117 --> 00:58:19,085
No, no, no! No, no!

768
00:58:20,821 --> 00:58:22,652
A fucking cobra, dude?

769
00:58:25,892 --> 00:58:28,986
Yo, yo, yo, I don't like him
staring like that.

770
00:58:29,329 --> 00:58:32,162
Oh, dude, you guys
are fucking such total dickheads.

771
00:58:34,634 --> 00:58:36,761
- Are you crying?
- Yeah.

772
00:58:37,070 --> 00:58:39,732
Oh, yeah!

773
00:58:41,074 --> 00:58:42,200
He's on to you.

774
00:58:49,449 --> 00:58:50,507
I'm done.

775
00:58:50,617 --> 00:58:53,415
Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

776
00:58:53,987 --> 00:58:55,784
Dave, Dave!

777
00:59:02,496 --> 00:59:05,624
Yo, that is coolest shit
I've seen in long time.

778
00:59:05,732 --> 00:59:07,825
White boy don't like snakes.

779
00:59:08,201 --> 00:59:09,168
Eh?

780
00:59:11,238 --> 00:59:12,637
What's your strategy up there?

781
00:59:12,739 --> 00:59:16,038
My strategy is staying up on the fucking
van because I don't trust anybody.

782
00:59:16,143 --> 00:59:18,805
I should have thought about it more,
but I was sipping on beer.

783
00:59:18,912 --> 00:59:22,313
I was like, "Why the fuck is snake dude
in Louisiana?"

784
00:59:22,582 --> 00:59:24,413
Then I do my bit
and then all of a sudden

785
00:59:24,518 --> 00:59:26,213
a king cobra comes
into the fucking thing.

786
00:59:26,319 --> 00:59:28,879
I'm like... Dude, I'm staying up here.

787
00:59:31,425 --> 00:59:34,292
You fuckers are asses.
I don't trust anybody.

788
00:59:34,828 --> 00:59:36,523
And you made me waste my beer.

789
00:59:45,639 --> 00:59:47,698
- Fucking hell.
- Fuck this.

790
00:59:49,743 --> 00:59:52,541
I'm Steve-O, and this is the Fart Mask.

791
01:00:20,373 --> 01:00:22,204
I took a fucking shit in it!

792
01:00:26,713 --> 01:00:28,305
There's shit in there.

793
01:00:29,850 --> 01:00:32,216
I got a shitty ass. I got to go wipe it out.

794
01:00:32,319 --> 01:00:34,310
That's like, the perfect poop.

795
01:00:35,856 --> 01:00:38,882
I'm Dave England
and this is my big, green ball.

796
01:00:51,438 --> 01:00:54,168
I need you to put baby powder

797
01:00:54,274 --> 01:00:55,605
in my butt hole.

798
01:00:55,709 --> 01:00:56,869
You need me to put...

799
01:00:58,712 --> 01:01:01,272
- Put a lot in there.
- Yeah, yeah. That's great.

800
01:01:22,369 --> 01:01:23,836
Who was that?

801
01:01:26,106 --> 01:01:27,733
Did it go "poof"?

802
01:01:27,841 --> 01:01:29,138
Did it go "poof"?

803
01:01:29,576 --> 01:01:30,736
It did?

804
01:01:49,863 --> 01:01:50,921
Sorry.

805
01:01:59,372 --> 01:02:00,634
Oh, sorry.

806
01:02:07,714 --> 01:02:10,410
Do you have these in size 11?

807
01:02:19,492 --> 01:02:21,016
Let me just see.

808
01:02:21,361 --> 01:02:22,828
These are good.

809
01:02:30,570 --> 01:02:32,629
- Sir!
- Leave me alone!

810
01:02:36,476 --> 01:02:38,137
You come on in here.

811
01:02:41,881 --> 01:02:44,315
You go that way. I don't care, dude.

812
01:02:44,618 --> 01:02:45,710
Police!

813
01:03:33,300 --> 01:03:35,200
He's a frisky little bugger!

814
01:03:35,302 --> 01:03:36,769
I am so sorry!

815
01:03:36,970 --> 01:03:40,770
Oh, my God!
It reminded me of my ex-wife!

816
01:03:42,976 --> 01:03:45,069
It's the middle of the night.

817
01:03:45,178 --> 01:03:48,670
We're gonna wake up Phil
and swap him with Preston,

818
01:03:48,848 --> 01:03:51,043
and Ape's gonna lose her mind.

819
01:03:51,184 --> 01:03:53,015
This is the Switcheroo.

820
01:03:57,324 --> 01:03:58,848
It's all right.

821
01:04:56,216 --> 01:04:58,377
Don't be afraid to get frisky.

822
01:05:36,990 --> 01:05:39,356
I'm gonna kill you in a minute.

823
01:05:39,726 --> 01:05:41,216
Phil, back up.

824
01:05:42,829 --> 01:05:44,023
Back up!

825
01:05:45,832 --> 01:05:47,060
Back up.

826
01:05:47,901 --> 01:05:50,165
Oh, my God. What are you doing?

827
01:05:53,373 --> 01:05:56,137
Are you all right? Jesus Christ.
Are you...

828
01:05:57,076 --> 01:05:58,407
Are you...

829
01:06:00,113 --> 01:06:01,137
Phil?

830
01:06:01,247 --> 01:06:02,305
Phil?

831
01:06:02,649 --> 01:06:03,707
Phil?

832
01:06:04,317 --> 01:06:06,785
What are you doing?
What are you doing?

833
01:06:06,886 --> 01:06:08,251
- What?
- What?

834
01:06:08,955 --> 01:06:11,515
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

835
01:06:12,358 --> 01:06:13,689
Oh, my God!

836
01:06:14,794 --> 01:06:17,194
Who is that? Who is that?

837
01:06:17,831 --> 01:06:19,230
Who is that?

838
01:06:19,532 --> 01:06:22,968
That's not your dad. Who is that?
Who is that? Where's the light?

839
01:06:23,069 --> 01:06:25,128
- How you doing, ma'am?
- What? Who?

840
01:06:28,274 --> 01:06:30,902
I went to get a drink. What's going on?

841
01:06:33,313 --> 01:06:34,610
Oh, my God!

842
01:06:35,648 --> 01:06:37,912
Man, I just felt like
I was committing assault.

843
01:06:38,017 --> 01:06:39,848
Phil, he copped a feel.

844
01:06:40,153 --> 01:06:42,178
He got away with it, then.

845
01:06:43,523 --> 01:06:46,321
Have you ever been
with another man before?

846
01:06:47,093 --> 01:06:48,788
Did he feel fatter?

847
01:06:49,395 --> 01:06:51,090
Did he feel fatter?

848
01:06:51,698 --> 01:06:53,928
You can answer. I won't be mad.

849
01:06:54,033 --> 01:06:56,763
I just assaulted you!
You can say whatever you want!

850
01:06:56,870 --> 01:06:58,633
No, you felt shorter.

851
01:06:58,738 --> 01:07:01,536
- No, you can say anything you want.
- You felt that part?

852
01:07:03,576 --> 01:07:06,067
That's it. I'm going to bed now.

853
01:07:23,696 --> 01:07:25,027
Oh, Jesus.

854
01:07:27,066 --> 01:07:28,397
Oh, shit.

855
01:07:28,968 --> 01:07:32,096
What was that shit?
It's fucking in my eyes.

856
01:07:36,342 --> 01:07:38,207
What the fuck was that?

857
01:07:38,311 --> 01:07:39,278
<i>Oh, my...</i>

858
01:07:39,579 --> 01:07:41,479
<i>I fucking don't understand.</i>

859
01:07:42,148 --> 01:07:44,343
<i>What the fuck did you do to me?</i>

860
01:07:44,450 --> 01:07:46,042
<i>What the fuck was that?</i>

861
01:07:46,653 --> 01:07:48,450
That fucked me up, man.

862
01:07:48,555 --> 01:07:50,352
Let's go inside, man.

863
01:07:53,693 --> 01:07:54,717
- Are you okay?
- Oh, fuck, dude.

864
01:07:54,827 --> 01:07:57,489
Let's get inside. We got a medic inside.

865
01:08:07,073 --> 01:08:11,476
It's moments like these when you know
Johnny Knoxville is one gnarly dude.

866
01:08:15,114 --> 01:08:17,878
I'm so glad
I'm not the star of this movie.

867
01:08:19,452 --> 01:08:23,149
Knoxville's gonna see
what the moon's gonna look like.

868
01:08:23,790 --> 01:08:27,021
He is gonna go definitely 60 feet up
in the air.

869
01:08:27,794 --> 01:08:30,422
He's gonna get annihilated.
But I don't wanna tell him that.

870
01:08:30,530 --> 01:08:32,623
You're gonna be just fine!

871
01:08:33,433 --> 01:08:36,732
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville,
and this is my Big Red Rocket.

872
01:08:36,970 --> 01:08:40,963
Five, four, three, two, one...

873
01:08:41,074 --> 01:08:42,063
Go.

874
01:08:47,981 --> 01:08:51,041
What the fuck was that?

875
01:08:52,585 --> 01:08:54,177
Holy shit!

876
01:08:54,287 --> 01:08:57,120
Oh, my God, he almost died
and he's dancing.

877
01:08:57,390 --> 01:09:00,553
<i>Usually, rockets fail backwards
and forwards, I was told,</i>

878
01:09:00,660 --> 01:09:03,060
<i>but there was a rocket
that came out the side.</i>

879
01:09:03,162 --> 01:09:05,528
If it had been, like, right here,

880
01:09:05,632 --> 01:09:08,726
that would have been a picture wrap
on old Knoxville.

881
01:09:10,036 --> 01:09:12,630
And now we're trying it again.
It's rocket launch, take two.

882
01:09:12,739 --> 01:09:14,673
I'm scared just watching.

883
01:09:15,141 --> 01:09:18,372
- I want a Lance helmet.
- I have full, like, adrenaline.

884
01:09:19,512 --> 01:09:22,538
<i>Even if the rocket doesn't blow up
on me this time,</i>

885
01:09:22,649 --> 01:09:26,346
<i>there's really not a lot of great ways
for it to end, anyway.</i>

886
01:09:27,787 --> 01:09:30,620
- This isn't the best idea ever.
- Yes, it is.

887
01:09:31,024 --> 01:09:34,357
I'm Johnny Knoxville,
and I'm going to the moon!

888
01:09:34,494 --> 01:09:38,794
Five, four, three, two, one...

889
01:09:38,898 --> 01:09:39,990
Later!

890
01:09:51,511 --> 01:09:52,910
Are you okay?

891
01:09:53,012 --> 01:09:54,809
Give us a thumbs-up!

892
01:10:11,130 --> 01:10:13,621
So what's going on, Preston?
What are we doing today?

893
01:10:13,733 --> 01:10:16,998
We're playing a prank on Danger Ehren.

894
01:10:17,103 --> 01:10:20,129
I think that we're gonna
decorate him up like a terrorist,

895
01:10:20,239 --> 01:10:22,366
with full makeup and wardrobe,

896
01:10:22,475 --> 01:10:25,171
and him and Dimitry
are gonna call a cab,

897
01:10:25,278 --> 01:10:28,441
the idea being to play a prank
on the taxi driver,

898
01:10:28,581 --> 01:10:30,048
that they wanna go to the airport,

899
01:10:30,149 --> 01:10:32,174
I guess to commit
some sort of terrorist act.

900
01:10:32,285 --> 01:10:34,412
- So, Ehren, where are you going?
- Yeah, where are you going?

901
01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:36,283
I'm going to Burbank Airport.

902
01:10:36,589 --> 01:10:41,424
And, meanwhile, we've substituted
the taxi driver with Jay Chandrasekhar...

903
01:10:41,928 --> 01:10:46,126
And he is going to punch Ehren in
the face and possibly pull a gun on him.

904
01:10:46,232 --> 01:10:47,358
If he tries to say we're filming,

905
01:10:47,467 --> 01:10:49,697
just go, "Don't talk to me anymore!"

906
01:10:49,802 --> 01:10:52,999
And slap him like this.
You can slap him a lot, too.

907
01:10:54,874 --> 01:10:58,310
I don't know how he'll handle this.
It's pretty high-pressure.

908
01:10:58,411 --> 01:11:00,538
And I don't think
he does well under pressure.

909
01:11:01,647 --> 01:11:02,739
All right, so here I am

910
01:11:03,015 --> 01:11:05,984
trying to contribute
to Ehren McGhehey's new beard.

911
01:11:07,019 --> 01:11:09,886
And I hope he knows that I skipped
showering for about a week and a half

912
01:11:09,989 --> 01:11:12,787
just to make this a little bit more gross.

913
01:11:13,893 --> 01:11:15,326
Sorry, Ehren.

914
01:11:22,535 --> 01:11:24,264
Look at the mane on him!

915
01:11:25,805 --> 01:11:28,774
Someone's got to pick that
out of their teeth.

916
01:11:29,675 --> 01:11:32,701
I'd be so bummed
if I was Ehren right now.

917
01:11:32,812 --> 01:11:34,439
You, like, put powder in there?

918
01:11:34,547 --> 01:11:36,879
Yeah, I put a little Gold Bond on
this morning.

919
01:11:36,983 --> 01:11:38,177
Tickles!

920
01:11:39,185 --> 01:11:42,211
One of the most toxic concoctions
known to man.

921
01:11:42,388 --> 01:11:44,117
It's a disease nest.

922
01:11:45,892 --> 01:11:48,019
Mine, you don't need a lot of.

923
01:11:48,594 --> 01:11:51,085
It's like just a little bit of
rattlesnake venom will get you.

924
01:11:51,197 --> 01:11:53,131
Is that the whole patch?

925
01:11:53,266 --> 01:11:55,666
Wait, I'm just wondering.
Mike, is that a crab?

926
01:11:55,768 --> 01:11:58,760
- What's that white speck on top?
- What is that?

927
01:11:59,372 --> 01:12:00,430
That's a crab.

928
01:12:00,540 --> 01:12:02,337
Mike's got crabs.

929
01:12:02,441 --> 01:12:04,875
Hey, guys! Guys! Mike's got crabs!

930
01:12:06,045 --> 01:12:07,103
What's that?

931
01:12:07,213 --> 01:12:09,238
This? Spirit gum. It's like, the adhesive

932
01:12:09,348 --> 01:12:10,906
that's gonna keep the beard on.

933
01:12:11,150 --> 01:12:15,211
How's the dialog? I mean,
I've never, like, done this before.

934
01:12:15,321 --> 01:12:17,789
- It's a game, you know.
- Compliment him, followed by an insult.

935
01:12:17,890 --> 01:12:20,120
- This is fucked, dude.
- Just don't break the character.

936
01:12:20,226 --> 01:12:21,454
All right, Ehren, the main thing,

937
01:12:21,561 --> 01:12:24,189
you cannot tell him you're
from any country in particular.

938
01:12:24,297 --> 01:12:26,527
This is such a good bit.
It's muffed up, but it's great.

939
01:12:26,632 --> 01:12:28,623
Close your mouth. Relax.

940
01:12:28,734 --> 01:12:30,201
We're making you look like

941
01:12:30,303 --> 01:12:32,430
what we think this guy
expects a terrorist to look like.

942
01:12:32,538 --> 01:12:35,405
You're not making fun of anybody.
We're just trying to scare the cab driver.

943
01:12:35,508 --> 01:12:36,873
I kind of already know that.

944
01:12:36,976 --> 01:12:38,967
Father. Hello, Father.

945
01:12:39,078 --> 01:12:41,046
You shut up.
I told you to come here earlier.

946
01:12:41,147 --> 01:12:44,241
- I'm sorry, Father.
- You are late. You cannot be accepted.

947
01:12:44,584 --> 01:12:45,608
I have disgraced you.

948
01:12:45,718 --> 01:12:47,276
Where have you been,
you little bastard?

949
01:12:47,386 --> 01:12:50,048
- I have been making a number two.
- Oh.

950
01:12:51,724 --> 01:12:53,282
Ehren, you are king.

951
01:12:53,693 --> 01:12:55,422
Thank you very much.

952
01:12:58,331 --> 01:13:01,664
What are you laughing at?
You people, you.

953
01:13:01,767 --> 01:13:03,496
Bam Margera and shit.

954
01:13:03,603 --> 01:13:05,833
Look how sweet the beard is, Jeff.

955
01:13:05,938 --> 01:13:07,030
Hello.

956
01:13:08,674 --> 01:13:11,541
- Hello. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.

957
01:13:12,745 --> 01:13:17,546
I look creepy, man.
I wish that I was born this way.

958
01:13:18,751 --> 01:13:21,845
You sound like schtick now.
Don't turn it into a comedy routine.

959
01:13:21,954 --> 01:13:24,354
No, very good. I know what to do now.

960
01:13:24,457 --> 01:13:25,685
No, I think there's gonna be some...

961
01:13:25,791 --> 01:13:27,918
So, we have two cameras following...

962
01:13:28,027 --> 01:13:29,324
Excuse me.

963
01:13:29,528 --> 01:13:30,620
Hello?

964
01:13:30,730 --> 01:13:34,097
I'd like to say, for not ever having
done makeup before your disguise,

965
01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:36,191
I feel pretty...
Like I've achieved something.

966
01:13:36,302 --> 01:13:38,862
I feel like I'm eating pubes right now.

967
01:13:38,971 --> 01:13:41,269
I got this shit all in my mouth.

968
01:13:42,008 --> 01:13:44,841
- Is it on the corner?
- Yes, it's like I'm chewing on this shit.

969
01:13:44,944 --> 01:13:47,174
- Is this real hair?
- No. Go like this.

970
01:13:47,280 --> 01:13:48,975
I'm going to get it out of your mouth.

971
01:13:49,081 --> 01:13:50,548
Okay. Does that feel better?

972
01:13:50,650 --> 01:13:53,551
Well, I still got it
on the back of my tongue.

973
01:13:53,886 --> 01:13:55,717
There. Out?

974
01:13:56,055 --> 01:13:57,682
Yeah, very good.

975
01:13:58,257 --> 01:14:00,157
- Very expert.
- Thank you.

976
01:14:00,960 --> 01:14:03,724
Hello, my name is Ehren McGhehey
and this is Terror Taxi.

977
01:14:07,934 --> 01:14:09,902
Now I shall call to taxi.

978
01:14:10,970 --> 01:14:14,701
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the best skit of this movie.

979
01:14:21,681 --> 01:14:23,979
The cab's here. We're on. We're on.
Let's do it.

980
01:14:24,083 --> 01:14:25,607
- He has no clue.
- I don't want the makeup to bleed.

981
01:14:29,855 --> 01:14:34,315
- We get to listen the whole time?
- I'm so glad I hopped in this van.

982
01:14:35,127 --> 01:14:36,685
Oh, my God.

983
01:14:37,663 --> 01:14:40,826
He's feeling the part so hard
and he has no clue.

984
01:14:42,201 --> 01:14:44,260
It's all downhill from here.

985
01:14:49,308 --> 01:14:51,572
To the Burbank Airport, please.

986
01:14:54,914 --> 01:14:55,938
Okay.

987
01:14:57,083 --> 01:15:01,019
- Where are you guys from?
- It's none of your business, I'm sorry.

988
01:15:04,323 --> 01:15:05,756
You got any luggage or...

989
01:15:05,858 --> 01:15:08,053
No, no luggage where we going.

990
01:15:09,161 --> 01:15:11,789
I do not like this country
very much, though.

991
01:15:11,897 --> 01:15:15,333
I like the countryside, though.
The countryside is good.

992
01:15:16,402 --> 01:15:17,926
And the breasts.

993
01:15:18,371 --> 01:15:19,861
Yeah, I'm married.

994
01:15:19,972 --> 01:15:22,065
What size is your wife's breasts?

995
01:15:22,174 --> 01:15:24,039
Yeah, well, let's just leave my wife
out of it, okay?

996
01:15:24,143 --> 01:15:25,906
Very good, very good.

997
01:15:26,245 --> 01:15:28,304
Are they bigger than a D?

998
01:15:28,647 --> 01:15:29,875
I love Ds.

999
01:15:30,449 --> 01:15:32,610
Do you want me to fucking pull over?
I mean, is that the fuck...

1000
01:15:32,718 --> 01:15:35,186
No. I'm very sorry. I will not talk.

1001
01:15:37,857 --> 01:15:39,415
There's an airplane, there!

1002
01:15:39,525 --> 01:15:41,425
We are very, very close.

1003
01:15:42,395 --> 01:15:44,488
Boom! We are very, very close.

1004
01:15:44,597 --> 01:15:45,655
What does that mean, "Boom"?

1005
01:15:45,765 --> 01:15:48,734
Boom! Like, "Boom! Kaboom!"
and all that.

1006
01:15:50,036 --> 01:15:52,368
There is the airport back there.
Which way are you going?

1007
01:15:52,471 --> 01:15:55,201
Where you going? Where are
you going? Where are you going?

1008
01:15:55,307 --> 01:15:57,502
Where are you going, man?
Where are you going?

1009
01:15:57,610 --> 01:16:01,011
Do not go down the alleyway.
Very scary. Stop it! Fuck you!

1010
01:16:01,113 --> 01:16:04,241
Fuck you! Fuck you!
You are a crazy man. Fuck you up!

1011
01:16:04,350 --> 01:16:05,942
Fuck you! Asshole!

1012
01:16:06,052 --> 01:16:08,953
Shit fucker! Shit fucker! Asshole!

1013
01:16:09,055 --> 01:16:11,319
Fucking money, I give you money,
lots of money!

1014
01:16:11,424 --> 01:16:15,155
Boom! Boom! Boom!
I'll blow us up right now!

1015
01:16:15,294 --> 01:16:17,888
Right now! Right now I'll blow you up!

1016
01:16:17,997 --> 01:16:19,396
What the fuck is up, man?

1017
01:16:19,498 --> 01:16:19,732
What the fuck is going on?
He's got a fucking gun, man.

1018
01:16:19,767 --> 01:16:22,257
What the fuck is going on?
He's got a fucking gun, man.

1019
01:16:22,368 --> 01:16:23,801
I got a bomb, dude!

1020
01:16:23,936 --> 01:16:26,404
Fuck you! I got a fucking bomb, dude!

1021
01:16:27,206 --> 01:16:28,867
Dude, get the fuck off of me!

1022
01:16:28,974 --> 01:16:31,135
Get the fuck off me!
Get the fuck off of me!

1023
01:16:31,243 --> 01:16:33,803
We're just filming a skit!

1024
01:16:33,913 --> 01:16:35,744
Get the fuck off of me!

1025
01:16:38,818 --> 01:16:40,251
- What do you want me to do?
- Get on the floor.

1026
01:16:40,352 --> 01:16:42,445
- What do you want me to do?
- Get on the fucking floor.

1027
01:16:42,555 --> 01:16:44,022
Just get on the floor, dude.

1028
01:16:44,123 --> 01:16:45,385
Lay down.

1029
01:16:45,691 --> 01:16:47,124
This is fucked.

1030
01:16:47,226 --> 01:16:48,591
Lay down on your face.

1031
01:16:48,694 --> 01:16:50,753
What the fuck, dude? I mean, come on!

1032
01:16:50,863 --> 01:16:54,390
I fucking knew it, dude. He fucking
carries a gun. This is bullshit.

1033
01:16:54,500 --> 01:16:56,968
Just do what he says.
Just do what the fuck he says, dude.

1034
01:16:58,170 --> 01:17:01,162
Stay there.
I'm gonna fucking call the cops.

1035
01:17:01,373 --> 01:17:03,568
This guy's got a fucking gun, dumbshits!

1036
01:17:03,676 --> 01:17:05,974
Come on! Get the fuck out here!

1037
01:17:06,312 --> 01:17:07,574
Don't fucking move!

1038
01:17:07,680 --> 01:17:09,341
Don't point the gun at me anymore,
you piece of shit!

1039
01:17:09,448 --> 01:17:10,472
Then lay down!

1040
01:17:10,583 --> 01:17:12,483
- Fuck!
- Just fucking relax, dude.

1041
01:17:12,585 --> 01:17:14,143
Fuck, it's a gun, dude.

1042
01:17:14,253 --> 01:17:15,311
Fuck!

1043
01:17:15,421 --> 01:17:17,048
- What the fuck do you want from us?
- Get up!

1044
01:17:17,156 --> 01:17:18,350
Get up, Ehren. Get the fuck up.

1045
01:17:18,457 --> 01:17:21,358
Why? Why should I get up?
You have me on the fucking ground.

1046
01:17:21,460 --> 01:17:22,654
Ehren, he has a fucking gun.

1047
01:17:22,761 --> 01:17:25,594
Just get the fuck up, dude.
We gotta get the fuck out of here.

1048
01:17:25,698 --> 01:17:27,290
- Get in there.
- No, fuck you.

1049
01:17:27,399 --> 01:17:30,857
- Just do what he says, dude.
- Get the fuck in the trunk.

1050
01:17:31,070 --> 01:17:34,301
He's got a fucking gun pointed at me,
fuckface, asshole, cocksucker!

1051
01:17:34,406 --> 01:17:37,204
- Get in the fucking trunk!
- Dude, get in the trunk.

1052
01:17:37,309 --> 01:17:40,244
If you fuck me up, I will fucking find you,
somehow, or something.

1053
01:17:40,346 --> 01:17:41,540
- Just get in.
- Seriously.

1054
01:17:41,647 --> 01:17:44,411
Why am I getting in the fucking back
of this fucking cab, dude?

1055
01:17:44,517 --> 01:17:46,917
- He's got a fucking gun!
- Get the fuck back here!

1056
01:17:47,019 --> 01:17:48,418
Dude, just fucking put the gun down!

1057
01:17:48,521 --> 01:17:50,216
You shut the fuck up!

1058
01:17:51,056 --> 01:17:52,353
- Oh fuck, dude!
- Holy shit!

1059
01:17:52,458 --> 01:17:55,621
- What the fuck, dude?
- Get the fuck on the ground!

1060
01:17:56,462 --> 01:17:58,157
I'm fucking serious!

1061
01:17:59,865 --> 01:18:00,889
I'm bleeding.

1062
01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:03,400
No, no! Dude, we're filming.

1063
01:18:03,602 --> 01:18:05,968
- Fuck you! Get the fuck out of here!
- No, we're fucking filming!

1064
01:18:06,071 --> 01:18:08,767
That's Bam Margera, dumbshit!
He's famous!

1065
01:18:08,874 --> 01:18:11,240
Look, there's cameras,
there's a sound guy.

1066
01:18:11,343 --> 01:18:12,537
We're filming a fucking movie, dude.

1067
01:18:12,645 --> 01:18:15,079
This guy's got a dynamite vest on!

1068
01:18:16,815 --> 01:18:18,612
Hey, put the gun down, dude!

1069
01:18:22,521 --> 01:18:23,579
What the fuck?

1070
01:18:23,689 --> 01:18:25,350
He shot me!

1071
01:18:25,457 --> 01:18:28,153
Preston, you fucking idiot!
Get me the fuck out of here!

1072
01:18:28,260 --> 01:18:29,693
- Fuck this!
- Please, sir! Please, sir!

1073
01:18:29,795 --> 01:18:31,194
- Fuck! Fuck!
- Sir, please!

1074
01:18:31,964 --> 01:18:33,329
- Please! Stop!
- Sir, please!

1075
01:18:33,599 --> 01:18:35,066
What the fuck?

1076
01:18:35,901 --> 01:18:37,869
Dude, get me out of here!

1077
01:18:38,037 --> 01:18:39,368
Oh, shit!

1078
01:18:39,838 --> 01:18:41,100
Oh, shit!

1079
01:18:41,473 --> 01:18:42,997
Oh, God, no!

1080
01:18:43,409 --> 01:18:45,343
Oh, fuck. I'm going to fucking die.

1081
01:18:45,444 --> 01:18:49,847
Why the fuck did I agree to do this shit?
Dude, it wasn't even my fucking idea.

1082
01:19:00,793 --> 01:19:02,158
Fucking fuck.

1083
01:19:07,199 --> 01:19:09,190
Oh, my God, dude.

1084
01:19:09,301 --> 01:19:10,632
I can't believe that shit, dude.

1085
01:19:10,736 --> 01:19:13,398
What the fuck, are you an actor
or some bullshit?

1086
01:19:13,505 --> 01:19:15,700
- Come on.
- Fucking crap, dude!

1087
01:19:15,808 --> 01:19:18,709
I almost shit my pants.
I'm not even kidding.

1088
01:19:18,811 --> 01:19:20,745
Dude, that was so awesome.

1089
01:19:21,013 --> 01:19:23,777
Oh, God, dude, I'm so happy
right now. Seriously.

1090
01:19:24,250 --> 01:19:26,684
Oh, my God. I was so worried.

1091
01:19:26,819 --> 01:19:27,786
Fuck.

1092
01:19:28,053 --> 01:19:30,715
I get it. It's a prank on a prank, yeah.

1093
01:19:30,823 --> 01:19:32,916
He fucking pulled out
a gun on me, dude.

1094
01:19:33,025 --> 01:19:35,220
Look where your beard came from.

1095
01:19:36,495 --> 01:19:38,395
Look, look! I'll show you!

1096
01:19:39,031 --> 01:19:40,589
Look at my patch!

1097
01:19:42,434 --> 01:19:44,561
Look! That's all our pubes.

1098
01:19:45,738 --> 01:19:48,002
You should try and get that off.

1099
01:19:48,641 --> 01:19:50,734
Oh, my God, dude, that sucks.

1100
01:19:50,843 --> 01:19:53,676
Every time it gets
fucking worse and worse.

1101
01:19:54,780 --> 01:19:57,442
You guys didn't fucking superglue that,
did you?

1102
01:19:57,549 --> 01:19:58,573
No!

1103
01:19:59,018 --> 01:20:02,010
That sucks! I told you not to do that!

1104
01:20:02,121 --> 01:20:05,022
Ehren, come on!
Why are you getting mad at me?

1105
01:20:05,357 --> 01:20:08,224
I got your dick hair all over
my fucking face!

1106
01:20:08,327 --> 01:20:11,819
This sucks, dude!
Give me something to get this shit off.

1107
01:20:12,031 --> 01:20:13,623
This shit was in my mouth!

1108
01:20:13,732 --> 01:20:15,632
How are you going to explain
crabs on your face?

1109
01:20:15,734 --> 01:20:17,759
This shit was all over my fucking mouth!

1110
01:20:17,870 --> 01:20:19,895
It wasn't from my dick.
Some of it was from my ass.

1111
01:20:23,309 --> 01:20:25,277
Oh, God, this is so bad.

1112
01:20:25,377 --> 01:20:27,607
Look at this. This is from Derek.

1113
01:20:28,247 --> 01:20:30,841
"Okay, who brought crabs to the party?
Fuck me."

1114
01:20:33,419 --> 01:20:35,353
One of the guys had crabs!

1115
01:20:41,093 --> 01:20:45,029
Seriously, like,
was the dick hair necessary?

1116
01:20:45,130 --> 01:20:46,461
Absolutely.

1117
01:20:46,699 --> 01:20:48,724
Like, was that the big payoff?

1118
01:20:48,834 --> 01:20:52,600
Like, "Ha, ha,
dick hairs glued on his face"?

1119
01:20:53,439 --> 01:20:55,839
- Is it itching?
- It's in my mouth.

1120
01:20:55,941 --> 01:20:58,034
Why'd you put it in your mouth?

1121
01:20:59,611 --> 01:21:03,069
I'm Johnny Knoxville
and this is the Bear Trap.

1122
01:21:04,316 --> 01:21:07,285
<i>The best of times is now</i>

1123
01:21:07,386 --> 01:21:11,652
<i>What's left of summer but a faded rose?</i>

1124
01:21:11,890 --> 01:21:14,085
<i>The best of times is now</i>

1125
01:21:14,193 --> 01:21:19,495
<i>As for tomorrow, well
who knows, who knows, who knows</i>

1126
01:21:21,333 --> 01:21:22,527
Get it off!

1127
01:21:23,335 --> 01:21:24,962
Get it off! Get it off!

1128
01:21:40,819 --> 01:21:46,689
<i>The best of times is now</i>

1129
01:21:47,025 --> 01:21:52,554
<i>What's left of summer but a faded rose?</i>

1130
01:21:52,664 --> 01:21:57,260
<i>The best of times is now</i>

1131
01:21:57,369 --> 01:22:03,535
<i>As for tomorrow, well
who knows, who knows, who knows</i>

1132
01:22:10,916 --> 01:22:15,546
<i>So hold this moment fast</i>

1133
01:22:15,654 --> 01:22:21,490
<i>And live and love
as hard as you know how</i>

1134
01:22:21,593 --> 01:22:26,223
<i>And make this moment last</i>

1135
01:22:26,532 --> 01:22:29,558
<i>Because the best of times is now</i>

1136
01:22:29,668 --> 01:22:31,761
<i>Is now, is now</i>

1137
01:22:31,870 --> 01:22:32,837
Fuck!

1138
01:22:34,106 --> 01:22:37,564
<i>Now</i>

1139
01:22:37,843 --> 01:22:43,076
<i>Not some forgotten yesterday</i>

1140
01:22:45,617 --> 01:22:51,317
<i>Now, tomorrow is too far away</i>

1141
01:22:54,660 --> 01:22:59,427
<i>So hold this moment fast</i>

1142
01:22:59,698 --> 01:23:04,829
<i>And live and love
as hard as you know how</i>

1143
01:23:05,304 --> 01:23:10,105
<i>And make this moment last</i>

1144
01:23:10,209 --> 01:23:17,012
<i>Because the best of times is now
is now, is now</i>

1145
01:23:17,983 --> 01:23:23,353
<i>So hold this moment fast</i>

1146
01:23:23,956 --> 01:23:29,394
<i>And live and love as hard
as you know how</i>

1147
01:23:29,695 --> 01:23:34,098
<i>And make this moment last</i>

1148
01:23:34,666 --> 01:23:40,434
<i>Because the best of times is now
is now, is now</i>

1149
01:23:40,539 --> 01:23:42,200
<i>Is now</i>

1150
01:23:42,307 --> 01:23:46,937
<i>Is now</i>

1151
01:23:54,853 --> 01:23:57,947
<i>I'll Jackass Two your ass.
Do me a favor.</i>

1152
01:23:58,056 --> 01:24:00,991
And you wonder why I drink?
I drink to steady my nerves.

1153
01:24:01,093 --> 01:24:03,561
I was so steady,
I couldn't move last week!

1154
01:24:03,729 --> 01:24:06,562
I had vodka and prune juice.
It's called a piledriver.

1155
01:24:06,665 --> 01:24:08,098
I'll be okay.

1156
01:24:33,825 --> 01:24:37,261
<i>Please, God, don't let there
be a Jackass Three.</i>

1157
01:24:37,829 --> 01:24:40,992
<i>Please, please, God, don't let there
be a Jackass Three.</i>

1158
01:24:42,100 --> 01:24:44,227
<i>I don't even like doing Two.</i>

1159
01:24:44,770 --> 01:24:46,169
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

1160
01:24:46,271 --> 01:24:47,932
Welcome to India!

1161
01:24:51,009 --> 01:24:51,976
Can I get off his dick...

1162
01:25:30,749 --> 01:25:32,046
Way to go.

1163
01:26:17,129 --> 01:26:19,097
I don't like this at all!

1164
01:26:26,638 --> 01:26:29,436
Sorry, bro. I didn't see you there.

1165
01:26:29,541 --> 01:26:31,441
I was headed over to Produce.

1166
01:26:31,977 --> 01:26:34,343
You knocked out my tooth again!

1167
01:26:34,446 --> 01:26:35,913
Look at Rick!

1168
01:26:37,015 --> 01:26:39,040
He fucking swallowed it?

1169
01:26:44,189 --> 01:26:45,486
Horse cum!

1170
01:26:47,125 --> 01:26:50,253
I'm not getting paid to be on camera,
you fucking dick.

1171
01:27:00,539 --> 01:27:01,631
That was great.

1172
01:27:02,174 --> 01:27:03,801
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1173
01:27:04,376 --> 01:27:06,241
Yeah, what have you got?

1174
01:27:41,847 --> 01:27:42,905
Marker.

1175
01:27:44,382 --> 01:27:46,145
Don't drop your shit.

1176
01:27:54,092 --> 01:27:56,219
Just act like it hurts, okay?

1177
01:27:59,431 --> 01:28:02,992
Wow. I actually feel energized after that.

1178
01:28:05,003 --> 01:28:06,834
Oh my God, look!
Point it at the cameraman!

1179
01:28:08,073 --> 01:28:09,665
Into the sink!

1180
01:28:09,775 --> 01:28:11,003
In the sink!

1181
01:28:11,343 --> 01:28:13,368
- In the sink!
- In the sink!

1182
01:28:23,155 --> 01:28:24,622
- Are you lubed up?
- Yeah!

1183
01:28:24,723 --> 01:28:27,886
Hey, they're ready to go.
Do you want to shoot it?

1184
01:28:38,570 --> 01:28:40,231
You all right, buddy?

1185
01:28:41,273 --> 01:28:42,968
I'm all right, man.

1186
01:28:48,246 --> 01:28:51,340
Water-based lubricants. Friend or foe?

1187
01:28:51,449 --> 01:28:52,848
You be the judge.

1188
01:29:10,836 --> 01:29:11,996
Okay, I can't breathe.

1189
01:29:27,419 --> 01:29:29,717
Can you take it off, please?

1190
01:29:43,802 --> 01:29:46,100
- Oh, is this your fruit?
- No.

1191
01:29:46,504 --> 01:29:49,871
Oh, these are beautiful!
They're so round and lush.

1192
01:29:50,976 --> 01:29:53,911
- How much is the oranges?
- $6.

1193
01:29:54,012 --> 01:29:55,036
Okay.

1194
01:30:02,454 --> 01:30:05,719
I accidentally cut myself.
I need a doctor, dude.

1195
01:30:05,857 --> 01:30:06,949
Doctor!

1196
01:30:08,493 --> 01:30:10,256
- We're supposed to catch these?
- Yeah!

1197
01:30:10,362 --> 01:30:11,852
You are fucking kidding!

1198
01:30:11,963 --> 01:30:13,260
Oh, my God!

1199
01:30:46,498 --> 01:30:47,760
Don't do that.

1200
01:30:47,866 --> 01:30:49,197
The snake is attracted to the heat.

1201
01:30:49,301 --> 01:30:52,395
Yeah, we got to get the mousey warm
for the snake.

1202
01:30:52,971 --> 01:30:54,199
But not too warm!

1203
01:30:54,306 --> 01:30:57,070
- Look at his face.
- He has a big raspberry.

1204
01:30:57,509 --> 01:30:59,101
A couple of them.

1205
01:31:43,755 --> 01:31:44,722
Shit!

1206
01:31:46,758 --> 01:31:48,589
What the fuck happened?

1207
01:31:49,427 --> 01:31:50,826
- Medic!
- Medic!

1208
01:31:52,664 --> 01:31:53,926
Someone said cut.

1209
01:31:59,137 --> 01:32:00,399
What's up, Bam?

1210
01:32:02,040 --> 01:32:04,770
I hate the fact that I had to fucking

1211
01:32:05,610 --> 01:32:08,511
hang out with alligators
and fucking cobras.

1212
01:32:10,215 --> 01:32:12,513
I have dicks branded on my ass...

1213
01:32:14,352 --> 01:32:16,320
Everything fucking sucks.

1214
01:32:22,794 --> 01:32:26,753
Like, everybody's
just f-ing with me today.

1215
01:32:28,933 --> 01:32:30,696
And my Misfits sock.

1216
01:32:33,938 --> 01:32:35,997
It's not even funny anymore.

1217
01:32:36,174 --> 01:32:37,641
I want to go home.