This Love and all is not my kind of thing
Do you know, till today I have not understood..
..how some people spend their whole lives with one girl
I had already decided that I will not waste my life by falling in love
So are you trying to say that..
..every boy wants just one thing from every girl?. - Right
Every love story, has the exact same story
The hero first runs away from love.. And then..
I love you Simran
I love you and only you
I love you Riya
God I hate love stories!
But I love, love stories
Infact, I love everything
These flowers, this season, rains!
These colours, Pink
Romance, romantic films
I make sets for these films, I am an art director
I love my job,
This filmy world, dramatic stories and..
..The thing I love the most - love stories
In which the heroine Turns around in slow motion,
When the hero sings and calls out to her
Cut!
Emotions! I want emotions!
Stupid! These love stories are stupid
Even more stupid than that are those people who make these love stories
Today, I top the list of these stupid people
I am a stupid directors assistant
Who is enacting something stupid so that he can..
Feel, I want to feel.. I want to get the feel?.
How do they make such stupid films
Do love stories really exist?.
Of course, love stories exists
We have a perfect love story
That's Raj, My Mr. Right!
When I saw, I realized my love
Love means going crazy, Simran
Raj was just perfect
So perfect, that everyone loved him - Perfect! Perfect!
My mom was a Gujrati
And dad, Punjabi
After her experience mom had decided..
..That her son-in-law would be a Gujrati
Enter Raj!
Perfect
Just Perfect
My mom had just one dream
That amongst these cards, One day, would be my wedding card
She was obsessed with marriage
My marriage!
Marriage - none of this crap for me!
I was just not that types of a guy
Infact I haven't seen a happy couple till today
Umm, may be my grandparents
Actually no, I just loved one thing!
Dating!.. I date every kind of girl.. Who loves me,
Who doesn't love me
Who does everything else besides loving me
Or even makes me do things!
I had just one dream
To work with a director who made the best love stories
And that day..
My life was perfect
And I was so happy
Stop yeah! Now leave her and listen to me
Veer was a very big filmmaker
Big hits, big stars, big budgets
Whatever, whatever
But these were not my kind of films.. Not my scene
Infact for me it was like the Taliban
I was here for just two reasons
First, my resume and
Second, Peter's bills
There was another character in my life.. Kunal
My senior in office and My best friend
Kunal was like a villain for every girl
The perfect villain!
Phew! I hate it when girls don't listen to me
Why you still sitting, you want to get me beaten up?. Lets go
Oh Shit!
Speaking of villains Veer, the villain of my life
Sent me to watch this romantic film
Wanted me to see some aunty's performance Casting issues
Actually, he knew how l felt about these films
Sadist!
But I did not know that my life would change that day
Just like an old film,
She turned and looked at me
And me..
Sirji, my family is a little small
You are alone, can you please Adjust on that seat there
What is happening?.
Hi.. J
What's your name?.
Name?.
Simran
How can you be so beautiful?.
Your name is Simran?. Seriously?.
Shut up Jay, keep quiet don't say anything, keep quiet
Quite a filmy name, don't you think?.
No offence
Listen you don't have a boyfriend by the name Raj right?.
No right, Thank God, If you did I would have fallen down laughing
My fiances name is Raj
But seriously, have you ever thought what will happen to your children
In school their teachers will ask them
Child, what are your parents' names?.
Raj and Simran
Child, do they also sing songs in fields?.
Will you please be quiet
Change the mood, say something sweet Jay
Come on, you can do it
I bet your those filmy types
You love these love stories right
Look, your spoiling my film
If you are not interested in this film
Then just leave
I cannot go
Have you hear of Veer Kapoor?.
Of course, he is my favorite director
Of course, he is your Favorite director!
I work for him
He has sent me here
He is mad
He had fallen down somewhere in his childhood..
..and hurt his head and since then he has been making love stories
Which people love
People are mad
God!
This! Childhood romance, childhood Sweethearts, does this even happen?.
It happened with us
Us?. - Raj and l
Oh God, I thought she was really making fun of me
That is why I decided that I will keep quiet
Seriously you need help
You are really really ill
You believe in such love stories?. - Just shut up
Oh, so you must be believing in ghosts too right?.
A lot of films are made on ghosts
Simran, come on ya, don't go like that
Look, why you getting so angry
I was just doing time pass
Come on, Listen Simran please seriously..
..I cannot watch such a boring film alone
I need your company
Best of luck!
Ya right, I won't watch a film without you
Anyways this was the world's smallest love story
This time veer was making a very different film
Sanjana was leaving forever
She was walking towards the aircraft
Cut to, In the frame we see Rahul's feet
Rahul does not want Sanjana to leave
Rahul runs behind Sanjana
He fights with the security guard and screams "Sanjana"
But Sanjana's father does not leave her hand
And then, then, Rahul sings a song
Hearing the song, Sanjana's fathers heart melts
Sanjana leaves her fathers hand and runs and hugs Rahul
Every love story has the same costumes, same sets, same dialogues
Everything is the same..
..just the themes have been changed a little and they say
Our film is different!
It will not be shot in New York or London,
But will be shot in New Zealand
Bollywood's king will shoot in Queenstown
Wow! - This is not just a love story
It's a saga!
Wow!
Veer
Sir. - Jay, I'm sorry your name is J right, not Jay
Ya - Why?. It's cool?.
So tell me J, you did not like my film right?.
No Veer, I thought it was.. - Shut up
I'm sure you think I am dumb, mad
And make the same old films over and over again
But you know what?. I know that
Just one thing, there's one thing that you don't know
That my films have magic..
..that magic which the audience connects..
..with which you will understand one day
Understand?. - It's really
Shut up!
Veer, Nidhi is incharge of costumes..
..and we need another girl for properties, can I ask..
Jay, from today jay will be in charge of properties
Veer.. I - You don't understand my world right Jay?.
That is why from today, you will work with my art director
Understand?.
So remember I had told you not to listen to Simran
You will have to listen to her now
Because in front of me was fate again!
What the F..?.
Ah Simran!
Hi Veer
Simran meet.. This is - J!
He was watching a film yesterday
Oh that reminds me, did you actually watch that film?.
Yes. - And he praised it a lot too
Really?. You liked it so much?.
I wasn't talking about the film, I was talking about you!
It was Veer only who hurt himself in his childhood right?.
No! That was me!
Oh really?.
Long story Veer!
Dude, its' a graph! However insolent a girl is..
..she is that hot as well, directly proportional
Simran is only so hot, but she is jacking..
..your case quite badly, its a total loss!
But I think she is a little hotter than that!
How does it matter my friend?. In any case you have to pack up soon
Do one thing, on your way out throw an egg on her
A Simran, this is Jay, Jay Dhingra..
..Oh ya he doesn't like his last name..
..its not cool, anyways ill see you in a bit - Ok
So you complained about me right?.
Fine, but this was a very cheap shot
Jay Dhingra, you spoke a lot of rubbish yesterday..
..and I did not say anything
But don't forget l am your senior here
In this office there will be only professional talks, no rubbish
You will not argue with anyone and will do only whatever..
..you are told to do
I want the production plans now
NOW!!
And Jay Dhingra, Best of Luck again!
What just happened?.
This Simran chic is so..
Stupid! He is so stupid
It's such a good job, such a good set up, but he doesn't care about it
Jaan!
Leave that Jay in office only
Why are you spoiling your mood?.
Hi
I tried leaving him in office
Here, Veer has sent this.. welcome gift
How sweet! - Hey
Hey Hey, I'm J
Hi Jay, Raj Dholakia
Uh Raj Dholakia it's J
You should try the wine, it's really good, I packed it myself
Sorry friend, but l don't drink on weekdays
And today Simran has made lobsters, I'm saving place for that
Simran, you try the wine
Even I don't drink on weekdays
Wow, a match made in heaven!
Yeah.. So tell me, what do you do?.
I'm an investment banker from London
Wow! Stocks, number crunching, trading and all of that
Your dam smart!
Thanks - Yeah
Uh, why don't you join us?. Dinner?.
Uh no thanks
By the way, I drink on weekdays!
And even we want some privacy
Oh, oh Sorry
Uh no..
Hey dude listen, nice shirt,
Red, Nice red
Thanks
What?. He's sweet, poor thing, he was ok.. Simran!
Even Raj thought that jerk was sweet
Was I over reacting?.
Simran! Simran! Simran!
Hi
You know I was thinking Of you all night
You look really pretty at night
Oh.. I, I'm joking!
Look, I know we didn't start off on the right note..
..it was my fault, I'm sorry
Let it go
Hey, will you be my friend?.
Ah Great, so now that we are friends, can I ask you something?.
Sure
Why do you roam around with this flower?. Does Raj give it to you?.
Yes
Everyday?. One white flower?. Is it in mourning?.
What?.
Listen, do you seriously love Raj?.
I mean, come on, you look So good at night..
..I would give you 7 out of 10 points
Easily
But I wouldn't give him more than a 4
What are you trying to say?.
Raj.. Dholakia
Have you forgotten your name?. Jay "Dhingra"?.
I am different and his shirt was ugly
Infact it was fugly, you understand fugly right?.
How dare you?. You said his shirt was nice!
Listen I'm seriously telling you, he is very boring..
..he doesn't have wine on weekdays, why?.
Because he might have a hangover the next morning but..
..that Gujju boy was eating lobster..
..what if his stomach got upset then?.
Just shut up, I had asked you to behave
But that was in office! And now we are friends!
Why you getting so angry?.
I was just doing some time pass.
You girls really overact, seriously!
I thought I could give you another chance but I don't think so
I want these properties, now
Why do you want everything right that moment?.
It's for a girls room, you won't have any problem
All this girls stuff and me?. Come on yeah.. I..
What's happening guys?.
I was just sending Jay to get some properties for Priya's room
And we wanted to know if you had any special requirements
Hmm, Scene number 18 right?.
Sanjana's introduction shot, Sanjana is sleeping on her bed
The first ray of light wakes her up
Romantic music is playing
I need everything, stuffed toys..
.. heart shaped pillows, balloons..
.. colourful bedspreads with flowers on them, colours, colours
I want a lot of colours, but mostly pink
Confused?.
Don't think like a boy Jay, think like a girl
Think like a girl, my boy!
I hated it when she smiled like that
We meet tomorrow at the office at 9:.00 am.. meeting with Veer
Hell and.. heaven
I was clear, a person works so that he can enjoy life
If I cannot enjoy my life, what is the point in working?.
Now step 2, looking for single girls
The rules were simple
Singles don't sit like boring couples
Single girls don't talk to their boyfriends on the phone
And couples never drink so much
Hey.. - Hey
I can solve your problem - Sorry?.
You are drinking here alone, there has to be some problem
There is no problem
But I have a big problem
I cannot party alone..
I'm J - Giselle
What do you do?.
Investment banker, Mery lynch
Oh - Filmy kind of boys don't look cool
Nice - That's why..
I hate the crowd on the dance floor
There is not even one nice couple
You think we should change that?.
If you say no, then I will kill myself
Really
And like always, fate!
J?.
What are you doing in the ladies toilet?.
I'm waiting for my cousin, she is inside
J, have you met my friend?. She really helped me inside
Really?. How nice!
Do you know even Simran's boyfriend works at Mery Lynch..
.. just like my boyfriend!
Boyfriend?. He's your boyfriend?.
Oh Simran! You are Raj's girlfriend right?.
Raj who wears really fugly shirts, how nice to meet you!
Jaan, I don't want to meet Raj here, this is not a corporate party
Don't feel bad..
You know.. - Uh you work in bollywood right?.
Right yeah. I have hear your quite insolent, and abuse a lot
You should speak nicely to people, they will feel nice
Bye
These love stories are so stupid, but since I have seen you
Raj! - Jay!
Raj Dholakia, my man
What a shirt! Look, Look
Blue, how nice right?.
Thanks, what are you doing here?.
What does a person do in the toilet Raj?.
Yea but..
What is this?.
It's our anniversary today, small gift
When did you get married?.
No no, not that one, the other one
Oh, naughty boy, naughty boy!
No no its not like that, we started dating on this date
Awe, how sweet! Yeah
You know, next year it will also be our anniversary, same day!
We can celebrate together! I love bankers!
Jaan, we should go
Jaan, we should go, come on
Uh Simran, you should talk to your staff nicely, even outside office!
Shit!
You practice yoga a lot right?.
Yeah power yoga, how do you know?.
What's for breakfast?. You promised me I would get whatever I want
That line was not for breakfast
And then she went on saying the same thing Just louder and louder
What?. - Look, if my landlord gets to know that you are here..
..he will throw me out and have you arrested
What?. - Yeah, you will have to hide and go out
What?. If I had known that, l would have never come here
I know - What?.
I can't find one shoe
Go with one shoe then, you will look like Cinderella
What?.
Bye - What?.
And this way I got rid of problem number one
And now problem number two
I want curtains flying
Jay!
Every morning I wake up and pray to God for just one thing..
.. that oh God please give me the honour of meeting Jay today!
Voila! here you are!
Veer, actually..
Get Out! A man who cannot come to office on time..
Veer last night my cousin died!
What?.
Yeah, Because of a drug overdose!
These kids these days, no family values you know
Uh, I'm sorry Jay,
Jay, why don't you go wash your face and come, freshen up
Even his eyes were red, poor guy
Yes Sir, he must not have slept also, he was on set till late last night
Uh Jay, do one thing, just take the day off
Go home and rest
Rest well and come tomorrow, its ok
No, Veer actually she is not in lndia so..
Oh, Oh ok come come come join us, keep your bag
Simran has made this new set
It's beautiful! Look, look
There is a staircase inside the house
And the staircase has a moulding too
Absolutely new!
These people are not rich,..
..but they shouldn't be too poor also, just right
Beautiful, good job Simran!
But Veer, J had not liked this model
What?.
No, I loved it
To match Rajiv and Priya's scale..
..we have to have a house like that only right?.
These windows are so beautiful! French windows
How real! Surreal!
My uncles house is just the same!
And the temple, we will have a aarti song here right?.
How.. different!
Amazing! how one tragedy has changed you so much Jay
I am so proud of you
Look at you, good idea, the aarti should be here under the staircase
That smile again, something was going to happen for sure
It's not a joke Jay!
I had asked you to bring a simple vase right?.
I don't know what your problem is - I'm sorry.. I
No Jay, this is not about just one vase
Everything you do is wrong
Look Jay, this is my set and..
.. I will make it according to my sensibilities
I do not need your expert opinion
And if you cannot do things right, then just get out of here!
Kunal! Come on, lets go
Jay, Veer has given you a lot of chances
Its time you pull up your socks, otherwise..
What kind of a graph is this?. She has just got after me
You ok?.
Coffee?.
But I knew coffee wouldn't do anything
Check her out! 7 on 10..There 10.30..11
What the F..
What is she doing here?.
Lets' get out of here
And then something amazing happened..
Fate
Ah Sorry man!
J?.
Shit! Sorry
No, I'm sorry
For that!
And for this morning, I should not have spoken to you that way
No, It's ok
No, even Veer got to know
Simran, I know you did not mean it
I know why you were so off mood
Mr. Perfect is troubling you right?.
Listen, he is a nice guy
Just explain to him simply that he should not do..
.. time pass during work hours
He will understand
Everything will be fine
And listen if that does not work, run away from home like me shhh
Ok opening shot
The heroine is standing in the balcony right?.
There is a strong breeze blowing
Jay!
Wow! You are late again today
Come on boys! Give him a hand
Give him a hand
You know what in such a situation I would scream at you
But you know what, l will not scream at you
And you know why?. Because you don't get affect by being screamed at
Today, you will stand in that corner..
..Iike a school child with your hands up the entire day.
Ok?.
Looks silly right?.
Jay! Go!
I am serious!
Go!
Actually Veer
I had sent Jay to get some properties
Last warning
Well then we start with an O.S shot
Here is looking at the heroine ok?.
Zoom in on the heroine, pan in and..
Simran!
Uh Sorry - Ok, we can do this.
Nidhi, dialogue!
Thank you
Thanks
Veer cant be trusted, he'll make me a chicken next time
Thank you for last night's speech
I said a lot right?. It's the beer man, sorry
It was the first time you said something that dint make me feel bad
So, what are your problems other than me?.
Huh?. - Love?. Raj?. Dholakia?.
I love Raj
I told you, you are ill, you need help
He is very nice, if l fight with him even a little..
..my entire day gets spoilt!
But, fights happen, you know how it is!
Yeah That is why l don't have a girlfriend
Really?.
Hmm, in my film there are just one or two meetings and then..
End titles
Listen if you have any hot friends then.. - No
I do not want to show any girl such a bad film
Fine!
Why did you leave home?. - Oh God!
It's not that dramatic!
My parents live in long island..
..and my dad wanted me to join the family business
I wanted to be a director
There were fights at home, I left home
That's it!
And you?. you live with Raj?.
Raj and me have known each other from childhood
Family friends son! Perfect match! That's it!
No, no, no, no
So which film have you jumped out of?.
Guys! It's a wrap, we finished long time back!
So, you don't believe in love stories?.
It's a practical world yeah
There is nothing like love It's like..
it's like we have been conditioned..
..from childhood to believe in something
Like.. God
Now what is your problem with God?.
How can I have a problem with Something that does not exist!
What nonsense!
Have you seen God?. Is he your neighbours?.
Look Jay, - I'm sorry, it's my fault, of course you believe in God
You consider Raj your God
You see you God in him! - Shut up!
Love Guru, I see Meena everyday at a grocery store
See?. I mean did you hear?.
Perfect!
Everyone's love is perfect at first
And then you need to go to such cartoons
I think this is a sexual problem, you should excite Meena
Raj and me have known each other from childhood
But our love has not changed
Really?.
We like the smallest of Things about each other
Just like it happens in films
Oh God! Come out of your Filmy world, Simran!
Do you know there are a lot of things other..
..than this love of yours!
Sex!
Sex! See!
Hatred, Jealousy
Ok if Raj sees me drop you home he will..
Nonsense, Raj is not like that
Thank you - See, I'm a very innocent boy!
Which film's set is this?.
Shut up
Simran! Gabbar Singh!
Simran. -Raj! What are you doing here?.
You hardly meet me so I came to tell your parents goodnight
You are so sweet!
See J, this is what I call love
Hey Jay, what are you doing here?.
I have come to say goodnight to you!
Take care - Bye Guys
See You - Raj! Nice shirt
Thanks
Why does he talk to you this way?.
Wassup Gabbar?. Are You in a bad mood?.
Did Basanti Bhabhi, your wife run away?.
What was happening?.
Was J right?.
Was my perfect life actually not perfect?.
Thank you - Anytime
But something was happening.. J was changing
J! Do you want to join us for dinner?.
With your parents?.
I promise, you will not get bored
Why haven't you got married yet?.
Mom!!
No aunty, I haven't found anyone special that is why
Can I help?.
Mumma!
What Mumma Mumma?.
You don't get married yourself, why don't you let him get married?.
Will a Gujrati girl do?.
Mumma, you know what I'm leaving ok?.
Hey, hey, hey calm down!
Actually aunty, there was this girl
Oh
I really really loved her
Ok
But my mom did not like her
Why dint she like her?.
Because she was bisexual
I mean, she batted for both teams
But I like girls that like girls, I'm ok
Mom, J is joking, he is not interested in marriage..
..and he does not have any serious girlfriend
Oh
Wow! Your a Casanova type?.
In my time, even I was like you, like a tiger
Really?.
But nowadays, I stay at home like a housecat
I think I need another drink
Cheers!
Don't worry, it happens, it happens with everyone
Son, I thought you were going to kill him
No Uncle, when someone behaves badly with..
..their staff I don't like it
Now means?.
Nikhil, he wants me to go back to the office.
Problem?.
Hope not
Suddenly I felt like l was standing there alone
Why?.
Mozart, Beethoven.. right!
Hi Veer
You just disappeared?. Have you joined Simran's team?.
Veer you only asked me to join Simran's team
Don't argue
Go get ready, the actors are coming to read their dialogues
Rajiv and Priya?. - Yes
Guys now this was an epic, we are making a saga..
Guys meet Jay, new AD
Uh Jay, so Jay
J
Jay
J - Jay
Yeah
Jay who takes the auditions here?.
Nikhil - So where is my best friend Nikhil?.
Taking auditions
Of girls?.
No kids
Jay Jay Jay, are the kids' moms hot?.
Rajiv come on lets do this now
Yeah yeah.. - Positions now come..
Sanjana is getting married to someone else
Everyone is celebrating karvachaut
And at that time, Sanjana's house catches fire
Sanjana's dupatta gets burnt
And now Sanjana is in a coma
She is fighting for her life
And at that time Rahul comes and..
Get up Sanju, Get up
I know you can hear everything..
..your just acting to fight with me and trouble me
Get up Sanju, say something please
I love you Rahul
What can I say Simran?. Look we do have problems
But why, I don't know
Nowadays l..
Anyway.. I'm going to Delhi tomorrow
When I come back, please give me my Simran back
Please
This was not fate!
I've got into the habit of going home together
Raj and you have fought again right?.
How do you know?.
The glasses, you are the filmy type
Whenever I am sad..
I don't know Jay, everything was normal up till now
But now I feel like something is missing
The magic?.
Yeah J, the magic, the love..
I don't know where it has disappeared
The magic has disappeared! How tragic!
There is nothing like magic Simran, its in your head
You need to keep the spice fresh in every relationship
So all these people need your help
Yeah and you too
This must be a joke for you, but I know what this magic is
You know even PC Sarkar must not believe so much in magic
I don't want to argue with you
All I am saying is that I was happy first
And you are not now, obviously
What does that mean?.
Ok, to be happy you need to be a little carefree but you..
So many tantrums, so many boundaries,
Like there is some big wall and you are stuck in it like Anarkali
Break that wall Simran, Break free
Sex, Every problem has just one solution - How?. - Have Sex
Do you have this everyday?.
No, No, Normally we have beer,
But today for the first time - shots
Why?.
Guaranteed drunkenness!!
Don't you think only one of us should rink?.
See, this is exactly what I'm talking about
Come on, Let go!
Come on. - Ok
Next one next one
I love shots
Peter! I love shots
From today, I'll have shots everyday
So tell me, what's the problem?.
I forgot
Shots!
Ok look, I'm not saying that you.. everyday
You will become Devdas
But sometimes it's good to loose control
Will you dance?. - No You should dance
Excuse me, my friend has a huge crush on you
No he is lying, he has a crush on you
No no what was that
Ok will you dance with me?. - No - Come on
No way - Come on - No No No
Guys, excuse me
I just found out that my wife is pregnant
Ask her to dance with me, come on
I told you, I am an innocent boy
That's it?.
What else do you want to do?.
Hey gabbar
Gabbar Singh! Your mood is not good today also?.
Basanti ran away right?.
Why don't you make do with Dhanno?.
Look, Look, Look my first girlfriend was from your village
We were neighbours
Is your mustache real?.
For the first time I woke up in the morning and thought
What has happened to my perfect life.
I love the rains
I'm shocked
Shut up
Hey that's a nice one yeah, can I keep that?.
I will never give this to you
Have a look at this sir, the Water is falling really well
Looks ok, we will have to make someone stand in for reference
Why don't you break your wall?.
Wow, you look.. fugly!
Raj will just not recognize you
I thought about you everyday, Simran
But you are going away from me.. why?.
Am I doing something wrong?.
Please give me one more chance
Please, let's try and make this work
But the problem was mine,
Sometimes, colours also look good
Red is my favourite colour
Raj always gives me white flowers
He loves white
Do you know, I hated your smile
And now?.
Jay!
What's happening?. Just concentrate on your work
No, Veer this is for the scene
Shh, Anyway the rainfall is too heavy
I want just 4 drops of water..
..to fall on Priya's face
1,2,3,4 drops
And concentrate
God!
The world's worst dialogues
They are not that bad
Everything was fine till yesterday, how did this love happen?.
I Had never imagined that this would ever happen
How did this happen?.
Wow! Not bad
Any one will launch you.
So now do you believe in love stories?.
I want to say something to you
Please don't misunderstand me
I have fallen in love with you
I cannot live without you
Even I am just yours Sanjana just yours
I have to meet you, urgently
Going to the Marriot, Coffee shop see you there
And right there one more love story had been created
I had fallen for Mr. Wrong
I dint know anything
What mom and dad would say
What will I tell Raj?.
What will our future be
Nothing
That wall had fallen down
And I had fallen in love with J
Hey wassup
What was so urgent?.
Is everything alright?.
What is all this?.
Who is that?.
Who?.
She's a friend
What kind of friend?.
She's a friend Simran
And me?.
You what?. What's going on?.
Am I nothing of yours
What are you saying?.
I thought you loved me
What?. When did I say that?.
No, You dint but I thought
Is everything alright?.
Yup.. ahh 1 sec
Simran, I don't know what to say
You here like this
I know J, its my fault
Simran
I just thought that you also love me, its not your fault
I don't know why you thought that
Even I don't know but I just though
We spent so much time together that why
What?. At work?.
Yeah at work Jay.
Simran, I was always your friend
I have never looked at you that way
I know that J
Come on you know how it is
Your not my type
And for God's sake you are engaged
I know J, But l had left everything..
..forgotten everything for a new life
You were right, all this just happens in films
It's not your fault J, I'm sorry
You know why all this confusion has taken place?.
Because of those stupid films, that love in which you believe so much
I know J
Simran there is nothing like love
There is
It has happened with me and I feel like a fool.
Simran's smile had disappeared
She had fallen in love
And unfortunately I had become a part of her love story
Hey, Simran's girlfriend has come
Dude, the schedules getting over, you should join..
..a kitty party with her
Shut up
Jay, Simran has requested for 2 girls as her assistants
Just hand everything over and come over for some real work
Holy Shit
Dude, what just happened?.
I knew it, I knew there was some problem
You did something with her sister right?.
What?. No she does not have a sister.
Then her best friend?.
No Kunal
Oh, then I have no interest
J!
I was just going to come to you
I wanted to say thank you to you for all the hard work
You were right
I had gone mad
I was living in some dream world
I'm sorry
Please forget whatever happened between us
Let's just be friends
Will you be my friend?.
And don't worry I have really praised you in front of Veer
It was the best way to say thank you to you
Thanks
Everything had changed in just one moment
And all this because of the one thing I hated the most
Love
There was nothing left to say between us
But I had to tell someone the truth
I have thought a lot Raj
I think we should go our separate ways
Please don't say that, Jaan
You don't know what has happened to me
And I don't even want to know
We are here again, together, that's all l..
Raj, you are not understanding
So why are you trying to make me understand, Simran?.
Simran, I want to give this relationship one more chance
And I am willing to do anything for that
I just need your support
How could I say No to Raj,
It was time to reopen this door
I told you earlier that Simran's graph was wrong
It's not about the graph, she is a nice girl, that's all
Wow! For the first time you are defending a girl
What's the deal?. - Don't be stupid
Shots for you, sir
Are you crazy?. Have we ever had shots till today?.
What are you doing man?. Get us some beer, regular
I want to gift you something today
There, 9 on 10
How are you?. - I'm fine.
Not interested Kunal
What?. Keep it, I'm going to keep the 16
8 + 8 both!
Not in the mood - Really?.
Yeah - Sure?. - Sure
So then wear this..
What?. - Just, just wear it
Hi Girls
This is my blind brother
It's his day out today, so I have got him out
Oh How Sweet
Hi, I'm Tina
Kunal. Jay
Michelle
He is so handsome, how did this happen?.
Poor thing, he went to watch Black
He came out of the theatre, and everything was blacked out
Oh so sad
Black is such an awesome movie
Totally - Yeah
Uh, Can I buy you girls a drink?.
I'm sure you drink wine
How did you know?.
When I look at you, I feel like I know everything about you
That's so cool
All girls drink wine!
Here you go..
Did u just see that?.
Oh! No I am really blind
You creep!
What did you just do?.
What's wrong with you?.
I told you I was not in the mood
Jay, whether or not you know anything..
..this was your natural talent!
How can you not see this?.
You are screwed!
You're dead!
And the killer is Simran - What?.
You're in love, you have fallen in love!
Don't be stupid, you know I'm not like that
Jay, she is playing on your mind
It's a sign, everything is so clear
Your garage now has a board for all the other girls that says No Parking
And that's why
Jay what are you doing?. - Calling Simran
Leave it man, I was just joking
Shut up and stay out of this
Don't say anything and just listen to me, ok
Have I ever told you that I love you?. No
Have I ever given you any wrong signal?.
No,
So then why are you doing all this?.
I was just your friend
And, and, and let's get one thing straight
You have not brought any change in me
And I don't love you,
Infact you love me!
You understand?.
Yes Son
Good, enjoy
She called me "son"!
I don't know how this happened mom
Raj is perfect
And Jay is a Punjabi!
So is the Punjabi right?.
And perfect wrong?.
Child, Relationships cannot be made and broken off so easily
Many lives are attached
I hope you know what you are doing
But I did not know anything
That is why I decided to face this problem for the last time
She left!
How can she just go away?.
She has just pre-poned her trip, why are you overreacting so much?.
Are you carrying her child by any chance?.
I wanted to say sorry
Then call her again
May be this time her Dad will answer
What is this?.
Oh this! Cliches
The love barometer
Those foolish things that every hero in love does
Like fights, drama, taking lover type photographs..
..running behind the heroine to the airport
He laughs, cries
What's your point?.
Today I can see a new hero
Simran's hero
What nonsense! You know that there is nothing like that
Test it, close your eyes and if you can see her face..
..then it means you love her
Shut up
I'm serious, it works!
There is nothing like that
I'm telling you at least try it once
At least try - Stop it
I will never give you this
Try it
What happened?. Did you see her?.
Simran?.
Preity Zinta
What?.
This scene is from Dil Chahta Hai.. you idiot!
Yeah
Guys! Nidhi forgot to take the production charts
Kunal go to the airport and give it to her
Me?.
Can I go?.
I'm just going to say sorry ok
Yeah yeah
How could Simran just leave?.
I had to meet her
I don't know why.. but I had to meet her
Hey thanks Jay, l thought Kunal would come
I'm sorry Simran
I called you yesterday but.. - Don't worry J,l understand
You are ill, you need help!
I'm sorry for everything Jay
I hope you can forgive me
Simran why are you doing all this?.
Because this is it J
We have some really beautiful memories of our friendship
And I don't want to loose them
May be the end credits of our film should be here
And the thinking in bed started again
The only difference this time was..
They were very beautiful memories
But now all I can remember is the moment she was leaving
I will pray to God that Simran kisses you
You know, I just love when two girls..
Has someone died?.
And once again, we had nothing to say to each other
Someone, somewhere is made for you
But how will I know?.
Will she be standing with a board with my name on it in her hand?.
How will I recognize him?.
In whom will I see God?.
Thank you God, l found my God! thank you
So many signs, what is happening?.
What's happening?.
Something happens Rahul, you wont understand
If she loves me, then she will turn around and look
Turn around, Turn around, Turn around
I am going
Bye
Don't ever say goodbye,
When you say goodbye, the desire to meet again dies
Oh Jay, my friend! How are you doing?.
You are coming for the party right?. - Yes
Its been 2 weeks since we have been shooting
So I forced Veer that he has to give a party
I am looking cool?.
You know, girls really love my butt
That is why I have worn tight jeans, to enhance them
Working?.
Yeah - Cool right?.
You should also try it
Tight Jeans, works, man!
I know what girls would say
What an ass!
Family films are made like this
Boys!
Alright guys! Tonight everyone's getting drunk, ok
The bar is that side get your drinks
No Veer I'm not drinking We are shooting tomorrow
What?. - lsn't the call time late?.
Jay the new serious attitude
No No actually he is pregnant
Don't be silly Kunal, for that Jay has to have some sex
And he runs away from girls
He doesn't run away from girls
I have seen him constantly looking at one girl
So then he is a lesbian
Keep quiet, lesbian, keep quiet
Stop making fun of him, Jay come with me
Come on sit
She is beautiful
Who?.
ME. So beautiful
The same girl who you are sneaking and looking at
No, there's nothing like that
Jay, I am more experienced than you in this business
And I am not talking about films
Simran's that smile had returned
I think she was over me
Come on go for a shot
I am not in the mood
Devdas looks really funny without alcohol
Come on, go for it
And then, that night
Yeah
Girls are like buses
One goes and then another comes
But amongst all these buses
There is just one bus that takes you home
And you should not miss that bus
All the other buses are pointless
Only that one bus
Why haven't you found your bus?.
Because I don't travel in buses
But you don't make this mistake
She's just a friend whose gone far away from me
So go, remind her about your friendship
Don't let her go
Forget everything, just listen to me
I realized that what you see
Does not always have to be true!
May be Rajiv wasn't such an ass
Guys, excuse me excuse me
I just found out my wife's pregnant
And she won't dance with me..
Can You help me out.
I do not remember anything else
I just had to talk to Simran
Go
How are you yeah?.
Don't look so surprised
I was missing Simran a lot
That is why
So how is my shirt?.
Perfect, just like your timing!
Thanks yeah
Ill see you around right?.
Where the hell did this white flower come from?.
Simran's choice is quite bad, don't you think?.
I am not talking about you
What was I doing in this story?.
The story is always suppose to be Raj and Simran's right?.
May be that is why fate was also on their side
Jay! Dude, we really have some connection
You are sitting and eating alone?.
Anyway now we are here to give you company
No, I don't want to ruin your romance
Oh come on, even I have barged into your outdoor
Am I ruining something?.
Coffee?.
Have a seat ill get it for you
Will you have something?. Sure?.
You're looking very happy
Your love is here
J why are you saying that?.
Baby your coffee
Are you sure you don't want anything?. - yeah
So Jay, what are you doing here alone?.
I mean a guy like you, without a girl?.
What does that mean?.
Look fried, you are not going to fall in love right?.
So you know your kind of girl
Actually there was this one girl
Really?.
But she had to go home very suddenly - Why?.
She fell down somewhere and broke her leg
What?.
I hope you at least took her to the hospital?.
Yeah
You know long back, even Simian has hurt her leg
I used to go meet her 3 times everyday
Remember baby?.
But you don't love her right?. It's different
You haven't tried your coffee yet
And that's a wrap!
Go and tell her
No veer
No Veer there is nothing like that, you are misunderstanding me
We are just friends
You were going to say just this right?.
Dude, I have made a lot of films
And have watched more films than that
No matter how cool you are,
Your story is as filmy as that
Now you have done everything
You have fought, run to the airport
You have got drunk and fallen down
Have a sung a song?.
Look if you don't tell her what is in your heart today
You will loose the little chance that you have also
Go tell her.
Forget everything, just listen to me
Go
Hey!
huh
Need to meet you urgently
Sunset park 9 o clock
Everything had changed, I had fallen in love,
And this was the world's best feeling.
Magic!
That magic has happened Simian
I have fallen in love
The thing that I made fun of, laughed at, dint believe in
That has happened
I love you Simran
And I realised that when you went away from me
Everything is red, there is music, you are here, I am here
I know that Raj is also here, but
If you are with me then nothing else matters
Say you love me Simran, say it!
No J
Today that you have said that you love me
Should that make me forget everything?.
J, even I had said these same things to you
But you did not understand
It took a lot of time for me to get back to normal
And if you laugh at this love story again tomorrow
I will not be able to come back to normal again
But Simran
My Raj, has forgiven me, how can I do this to him?.
How can I do this with myself?.
I don't have the strength to love you again
I'm sorry J
But I love you
So does Raj!
And in just one moment my life had changed
I was alone even today
Don't ask my friend,
The thing that I was scared of actually happened - love!
In every bad film they say..
The thing that I was scared of actually happened
I had fallen in love
And my heart was also broken..
And when the heart breaks, the pattern is fixed
The person stays in bed all day
He takes the help of drinks
And when she smiles, it's beautiful
And your own friends remind you of her.
I ate my food first, then I brushed my teeth
And then I ate my food again!
So sweet!
Tries to work but remembers her even then..
And sometimes she comes herself
That is why Veer decided to help me out
Strip club?.
Veer how do you know about this place?.
Someone had told me about it
Though even I have come here for the first time
Hi Veer, long time no see
But the truth was that I was much more broken than this
What could I do?. I couldn't understand anything
Hello
Mom?.
Jay?. Jay, son how are you?.
I am fine, how are you?.
I'm good, I had called you but..
Yes, I was a little busy
Son, are you ok?.
Ya mom, why you asking me that?.
You have called me today, that is why
Very funny mom
Kill you ego son, tell me what has happened?.
I cant understand anything mom
How did this happen?. How did everything change?.
The thing I have always made fun of
That thing has shown me my place
And I don't know what to do, mom
What is the girls name?.
It a girl right?.
Yeah, Simran!
So why are you overacting so much son?.
Jay, just because your dad and me could not be together
Doesn't mean that every love story will have the same ending
What is the problem son?.
She is with someone else
So she loves someone else?.
No, she does not love him
So she loves you?.
Oh god! Such a clinched problem
And you have already given up?.
What has happened to you?.
You are crying like a girl over the phone
Come on get up, go
Go and fight with her
Make her realise what she is missing
Fight for your love son
Make it happen
I love you mom
I'm sorry, I should not have left home like this
I have hurt you a lot right?.
No son, you have not done anything like that
I love you very much, Jay
Miss you
Mom had shown me the way
I was going to fight for my love
Kunal shut up man! This is serious!
My friend, my hair have gone white listening to your story
Forget her, she is history
No, my mom has said that I have to fight
If you have to fight then join some boxing club or a karate club
Shut up Kunal, Jay you tell me
I will tell you from the beginning
Simran fell in love with you, and you rejected her
Then you fell in love with her and she rejected you
Now what should we do further?.
Thanks! The point is
That even I don't know what she should do further
Hmm..
I don't know, l couldn't understand anything
That is why, once again I decided to make the call Hello Love Guru?.
Hello Love Guru?.
My name is J, actually Jayant
Pandey
We met on a film set, she loves me but is upset with me now
I cant understand how to convince her
Should I play a song for her?.
No, every problem has only one solution
Just have sex!
But that is too far fetched
Uh ok then jealousy
Jealousy?.
Jealousy!
Hmmm Jealousy
You think that will work?.
Forget everything son, just listen to me
Hey!
Giselle, please don't do this
Listen to me
Why should I listen to you Jay?.
Why?. Just get out of here
Giselle please, see what I got for you
Giselle please, forgive me
Now that I have understood what love is, I could only think of you
You thought of me?.
Yeah, what?.
No, no no no I don't love you
I love Simran but I just need some help from you
Giselle?.
You must be kidding
You want me to help you fool some other girl?.
Giselle please, open the door just once
And you will know how serious I am
That's Kunal, that's Nidhi
They have a plan
Plan?.
How did you know I would agree
Well, he told us that you are quite stupid!
Hey Simran, recognize me?.
Hi
You know, I always thought that Jay was madly in love with me
But that dog!!
Now I have fallen madly in love with him
And that mad guy has fallen for some other mad girl
I want jay
I'm ready to give him my wealth and body..
.. and you have to help me
I cant do anything
Oh come on Simran don't be mean
I just want his phone number
Please, please, please, please
Ok
Got it!
But what will Giselle talk to them
Anything, how does it matter?.
Blah Blah blah blah
Giselle?.
Oh How sweet! Have you seen J?.
J.
I have just watched this romantic movie with J
Romantic movie and J?.
Yeah, I love him and his shirts
And like Kunal said the other things did not matter
Blah blah..
Blah blah
Hey baby, lets go
Of course
2 popcorns
This plan will work right?.
Of course, Giselle is acting so well
Thank you
After the movie theatre, dinner!
Giselle!
You are not following us, are you?.
Uh
Just kidding! I have come with J for a candle light dinner
How romantic!
And the rest of the things were not important..
Blah blah
Hi baby!
For you - Than you
Bye!
Are you ok?.
And then a party!
Super, but where?.
Your house!
What?.
Take the screenplay a little forward
It was time to get close to Giselle
Blah blah
Jay, Jay, Jay
Idiot over here!
Look at what is in your hand
She's way hotter than Simran
Take her instead, - thanks.
Blah blah
Hi!
No No No its not like that
What kind of a rubbish plan is this?.
Shut up
But Kunal was right
Because I thought a lot
That if J loves me, what was he doing with that girl?.
Just one last meeting, Simran will break down
Then you can go and propose to her
Really?. So now?.
But I was forgetting a main character of the story.
What's up?.
What are you hiding and looking at?.
Um.. Um..
Uh Jay wanted to buy some clothes
What?.
Yeah Uh, Raksha Bandhan is around the corner
What?. - Yeah
Anyway, Guys! I have a surprise for you
I am going to propose to Simran tomorrow,
She has agreed to marry me!
But, it's a surprise so please don't tell anyone
So boys, come over tomorrow night we will celebrate
I am going o see my wife happy after very long
Ill see you guys later, take care!
He doesn't know what out plan is!
We don't have any plan
What?.
She wants to marry Raj, Kunal
Don't be stupid, you know that she doesn't want that!
So then why is she doing this?.
How do I know?. He loves her and..
Exactly even Raj loves Simran
And I may love Simran way more than Raj does
But who are we to decide that?.
We are not deciding, its Simran who is deciding this..
But we are influencing her decision right?.
We are confusing her
Is this the right thing to do?.
Jay, what are you saying?.
Simran has agreed to marry Raj, I just want her to be happy
And if her decision is wrong, the nothing will happen
She will not go anywhere. She will come back
And if she does not come back then..
I don't know
Whatever happens, please don't tell Simran about this plan
Surprise!
Only for you Simran
I will send you white flowers everyday till the day I die
Everyday!
Raj you don't need to do this
I know how much you..
How much I love you?.
No Simran, this is only because l know how much you love white flowers
Complimentary shots from the bar sir
Thanks, but we don't drink on weekdays
I do
I cannot lie anymore and keep you in the dark
I don't like white flowers
I drink on weekdays!
And my favourite colour is red
What are you saying Simran?.
I really tried to like white
But white is perfect and I don't like perfect
I love red
So that's fine, from tomorrow I will send you red flowers
No Raj, I need to tell you something
But I was leaving everything and going home
So like every hero l had reached the airport
Go from there!
What game was fate playing with me?.
If fate was on my side then why wasn't J on my side?.
Hello - Jay?.
What's up?.
I am so happy son, finally you are coming home
Me too, why is there so much noise?.
My friends have come over for lunch
Even Mrs. Chopra is here.
Her daughter is very beautiful, should I talk to her?.
What?.
Mom I don't want to get married
Crying for Simrans loss?.
Mom stop it!
Oh Ok Ok, O tell me what are your plans after you get here?.
I don't know, I think l will join a film school
Hmm, keep your Saturdays free
I have found a very good psychiatrists for you
For what?.
For you?.
What?. Why?.
Because your in depression, son!
I'm not depressed mom
You haven't noticed, whenever you call you are crying
Where am I crying?. I am completely normal!
Please Jay please, leaving everything and coming back,
Crying on the phone, acting like Devdas
Do you call this normal?.
So what do you want?. What do you want me to do?.
How does it matter what I want jay?.
I had asked God for a son, but I got a daughter
What?.
Girls cry on airports, not boys!
And if you have to do all this drama then go do it in front of Simran!
Now tell me quickly, are you even coming home?.
Jay, Jay are you coming home?.
No
So then where are you going?.
To do some drama
She loves drama
I love you mom.
In every climax the hero runs to the airport
But I was different
Taxi!
Don't run away with my bag! I have noted down your number
Stop stop stop - Where are you going?.
Do you have a pass
What pass my friend?. Its my film
You cannot go inside
Rajiv! Rajiv - Sorry Sir
You have the best bum in the world!
I do, I do
No, No he did not mean that
Hello?. Hello?.
Simran!
Sorry! Sorry!
Magic!
The thing that I made fun, dint believe in
That has happened Simran
Everything is red, there is music
You are here, I am here
The last time I gave this speech you ran away
This is me Simran
I have done everything a cartoon madly in love does
But my feelings haven't changed
I cannot think of any new dialogue
Everything has been used
You know I am not perfect
My name is not perfect
I am stupid
But if you are with me then my first and last love story will be perfect
I love you Simran, l love you very much
I love you too!!
Come on!