Billy-Ray was a preacher's son
And when his daddy would visit
He'd come along
When they gathered round and started talking
That's when Billy would take me walking
Through the backyard we'd go walking
Then he'd look into my eyes
Lord knows to my surprise
Thank you.
"Wet T-shirt contest"
Not ready?
We'll miss the bus!
We're on vacation.
Meet me at reception.
What a drag.
Hurry up!
You promised me we'd go out to the dunes together.
Sure, I promised.
You promised not to pile on the pounds.
The Marzouga bus has left?
It's not time yet.
Sometimes early, sometimes late.
That's how it goes here.
- What's up? - The bus has gone.
Fantastic.
If you want to see the dunes, Dr. Chapuis is going there.
I'm beat. Go without me.
It's a bummer, but I'd rather stay by the pool.
Do you mind, baby? Seriously?
Hello.
- Sorry to bother you. - Not now.
Come to the clinic later.
- It's not that. - An emergency?
I heard you're going to the dunes,
and I missed the bus.
Are you coming?
Traveling alone?
With my boyfriend.
This is the land for lovers.
Then again, I used to be in a hospital in Tanzania.
Amazing.
Pierre.
Florence.
That's a poem in Brazilian.
I don't speak it.
But you've been to Salvador.
How do you know?
It's magical.
At night, the dancing and music...
Kids, old people, it's crazy.
But, to be honest,
my partner preferred the hotel pool.
So I visited on my own.
Some people are like that.
The world offers itself to them,
but they never move ahead.
They stay stuck in a rut.
That kind of mediocrity...
I'm sorry.
No, I understand perfectly.
Sorry about this.
It's okay. I teach in grade school.
I love kids.
Hanouch.
I'm not Hanouch.
You want candy, you are.
Pierre!
Thank God you're here.
Gisele, meet Florence.
We drove out together.
Delighted.
How are Bashir and Mokhtar?
Great, thanks to you.
The vaccines are in the boxes.
Perfect.
Stand aside, children!
Thank you.
You're at the hospital too?
No, I'm a teacher.
Bashir and Mokhtar were Siamese twins,
joined at the head.
Pierre knew he could save them.
It itches. Can I take it off now?
Take it off in ten minutes, after I leave.
- Kiss your brother. - He's not my brother.
- Kiss him. - He's not my brother.
I'm glad he's found a girl at last.
We're not together.
It's obvious!
No, I swear we're not.
In any case, he hasn't looked so happy in ages.
What do you mean?
- He didn't tell you? - No.
When's the wet T-shirt contest?
This. What time?
Thank you.
Don't overdo it.
To the dunes?
You don't have to.
Have to?
I always keep my promises.
You've got a plan and it seems so sincere
I want a man who can plan to be here
I see your schemes
And your wealth of expertise in
Doing the wrong things for all the right reasons
You're high on hope and I
I want that too
Throw me a rope and I'll climb up to you
You're beautiful, Florence.
What did that poem say?
"I adore your beauty,
"the light of your sympathy,
the delicious love in your eyes."
Look, diamond doves!
They're rare at this time of year.
Forgive me.
So many memories...
are coming back to me.
Go on.
Fantastic.
Tears work every time.
It won't fly.
Don't worry, he kissed her.
Forgive me.
I don't know why I did that.
Forgive you for what? Kissing me?
You've awoken me, Florence.
I haven't felt this alive in ages,
thanks to you.
But it's too late for me.
I'm far away from here.
I know. Gisele told me.
Your divorce, the breakdown.
I can't fall in love again.
But you...
you...
you deserve the best.
Thank you, Pierre.
For what?
Thank you.
That's all.
Okay, we're pulling out.
Well, I have heard
That you are known to be deceiving
So if your cover's blown
I hope that you weren't teasing
I'm halfway up the rope
And then he begins
Doing the wrong things for all the right reasons
That's agreed, then.
My sister won't know I was involved.
You know our rules.
And if she returns to that jerk?
We refund you.
Has it ever happened?
Never.
Uh-huh
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Uh-huh
There are certain things fresh
And certain things mesh
I got my own sound
I don't sound like the rest
And even my attire and my choice of dress
Women in couples come in three categories:
Happy,
knowingly unhappy,
and unhappy without admitting it.
I work on that final category.
My name is Alex Lippi.
I break up couples for a living.
This is my team:
Melanie, my sister, and Marc, her husband.
We help all kinds of women:
Your mothers, sisters, daughters,
best friends, and colleagues.
Our friend's with an egotist.
He's a brute.
My janitor's husband's a jerk.
My mother has a gigolo.
We're here to help these women.
Our goal: To open their eyes.
Our method: Seduction.
We never intervene for racial or religious reasons.
Alex never sleeps with them.
We open their eyes, not their legs.
And, most important of all,
we only step in if the woman is unhappy.
And to attain our goal...
anything goes.
I said I wasn't gonna tell nobody, but I
Couldn't keep it to myself
No, I
Couldn't keep it to myself
No, I
Couldn't keep it to myself
I said I wasn't gonna tell nobody, but I
Couldn't keep it to myself
What the Lord has done for me
You ought to been there
When He wrote my name
Name on the roll
- And I - Started walking
- I - Started talking
- I - Started singing
- I - Started shouting
Oh
What the Lord has done for me
Oh, you ought to been there
You ought to been there
The suspect is a young white male,
Rue Robert Ferre.
You ought to been there
When He wrote my name
Name on the roll
And I
Started walking
Started talking
Started singing
Started walking
Started talking
Started singing
Started shouting
Started walking
Started talking
Started singing
Started shouting
About what the Lord
Has done for
Me
Yeah
Forgive me. I don't know why I did that.
Forgive you?
For kissing me?
You've awoken me, Akiko.
It's ages since I felt so alive.
Thanks to you.
But it's too late for me.
I'm far away from here.
I can't fall in love again.
But you...
You...
You deserve the best.
Thank you, Thomas.
Thank you, Cesario.
Thank you, Daniel.
Thank you, Tony.
- For what? - Thank you. That's all.
"HEARTBREAKER"
Isn't that your girl Karine?
Shit.
What a surprise!
I'm really glad to see you.
It's...
What's up?
How was Lapland?
Cold.
Very cold.
Remember Olivia?
Yes, she threw a dinner party for your birthday.
Exactly.
She saw you in Marrakech earlier.
Impossible.
Hi, Karine.
I called the Science Research Laboratory.
They hadn't heard of Alex Lippi.
You're kidding.
I'm not stupid!
The janitor has your stuff.
Give me the keys.
Flo... Karine, calm down. Let me explain.
I'm listening.
I'm not allowed to say what I do.
I'm on a mission for the French government.
I'm being watched, recorded maybe.
I can't get you involved. I have no choice, Flo... Karine.
Gotcha!
Science researcher.
Mr. Lippi.
Sold for 4,000 euros!
Let's move on to lot 52.
The expert assessment, please?
Lot 52 is an imperiale of Chateau Haut-Brion 1989,
the leading grand cru from Pessac-Leognan.
A perfectly preserved lot,
a complex wine with depth, elegance,
and remarkable balance.
We'll start bidding at 8,000 euros.
8,000... 8,500...
9,000... 9,500...
Any phone bids? 10,000.
10,500... 11,000...
What are you doing here?
Your mother loved Haut-Brion.
So?
You won't let me pay for your wedding,
refuse my flowers.
At least let me buy you a few bottles.
Not until your money only comes from your flower business.
Very well, my dear.
It's your wedding.
I have to go.
If you don't come, I'll understand.
Excuse me, the Rodin room?
How long?
13 years, Dutour. I brought this.
I found it during Mom's move.
As a boxer, you had a great right hook.
Too bad you quit over one defeat.
It upset your dad.
The coma calmed me down.
Your dad was a great man. Strict but fair.
Yeah, mainly strict.
How's your mother?
She takes it easy.
Juliette Van der Beck, daughter of the flower tycoon.
Age 30, 5'5", size 36,
Master's, resents her father,
athletic, and hates injustice.
I heard you were good!
Her boyfriend.
You have ten days to end their relationship.
I need more time.
Impossible.
- Why? - The wedding's in ten days.
Before accepting, I research the job.
Juliette.
You forgot something.
Whoa!
This stinks.
It's trash.
I meant the job.
I know.
Here's the deal.
God couldn't have created a more perfect couple.
Nobody's perfect.
I never saw two people so much in love.
Get this.
She gets scented notes after three years.
Scenting an email is a lot tougher, right?
Give me Jonathan's flaws.
Rich London family.
An Oxford graduate.
Humanitarian work in Asia.
He then combined business and pleasure
by founding a food bank that feeds over 10 million kids.
His flaws.
I'm just reading what it says.
- His defects! - Take it easy!
His defects.
Here's something!
He has a jet.
Maybe he doesn't fly it.
Not flying your own jet is a failing...
right?
I have more info.
I can confirm Juliette and Jonathan
met three years ago.
They met as one would expect,
on New Year's Eve in Dubai
on a trader friend's yacht.
They moved in together a year ago
and are now totally in love.
Over.
- What's he getting? - A doggie bag.
So Lord Byron's a scrooge.
He's taking his leftovers home.
A real cheapskate.
How long to wreck a cheapskate's relationship?
No idea. A couple of hours?
See, I know my job. Nothing's ever perfect.
Hi.
I saw you guys when I arrived.
It's for you.
Here.
It's delicious.
Thank you.
I'll have it. I'm starving!
What? You can't help?
Francois, I've never seen such a happy couple.
You run when it gets tough.
Come on, with preparation, no woman resists me.
Your fear of failure hurt your dad.
I have principles.
They're happy, I stay away.
You act the same way in love?
No worries there.
Good to see you.
We need the job.
Why?
We're broke, and you keep buying 3,000-euro suits.
We can't receive clients in this dump.
You crash out here,
and I have to keep changing the van's oil or it won't start!
That's why!
- No tomatoes this time. - Delicious.
We create a Berber village,
take over the Sacre Coeur.
It's getting out of hand.
We're artists.
Mozart didn't do an opera on an accordion.
You both piss me off.
Think I enjoy playing Don Juan to feed you?
I have no life of my own.
Mate!
We need 5,000?
20,000 to break even.
You'll get it.
I wouldn't eat nuts like that.
He doesn't speak French.
Stay nearby.
I found him in Serbia.
- He was into dogfights. - Great.
Against pit bulls.
Great!
I need an extra 20,000.
Alex...
forget the 20,000.
I want my 30,000 next week.
I still owe you 30,000?
And Maurice? Didn't he call you?
Just wait. Let me give Maurice a call.
If you don't pay up,
even your own mother won't recognize your face.
Okay.
- Dutour. - Alex.
I'll take the job. I want 50,000.
You're greedy.
She'll be in Monaco from Monday to prepare for the wedding.
Good news, her fiance won't be there until Friday,
the day before the ceremony.
You have five days.
Good luck, Alex.
Everything fine?
Yes, thank you.
We'll deliver to your hotel.
The satin ones arrive from Milan tomorrow.
Something wrong?
My bag. I can't find it.
Nice handbag. Keep an eye on it.
Who are you?
Your father hired me as your bodyguard.
Bodyguard?
You look a bit puny to me.
Size is irrelevant.
It's me.
Lovely to hear from you.
Who's this guy you've hired?
Hold on.
Your joker got himself spotted.
Check it's him.
Describe him.
Age 35, dark, 5'9", whitened teeth,
cheap suit, hick shoes.
Will that do?
- That's him. - What?
I don't need a bodyguard. I'm not 15.
Put him on.
I'm listening.
A bodyguard?
Yes, sir.
Brilliant!
Absolutely.
Good luck. Put her back on.
Juliette, I've had threats.
You're still my responsibility.
It's nonnegotiable.
I'll pay you double to go.
My father won't know.
How much?
Stop it.
Maybe you don't want money.
Ever wanted a quickie with a woman about to get married?
Let's do it in the fitting room.
No panties, just lift my dress.
You have principles?
You're just a flunky who's scared of my father.
Hello?
Yes, darling.
The liar. She has panties on.
My suit's fine. It's a Paul Smith.
Hurry it up!
All set. Pass me the cover.
I never have time to set my cams up.
Move it! She's in the elevator!
Quick!
Hello.
If you need anything at all, give me a call.
Thank you.
Enjoy your stay. And congratulations.
Thank you.
I'm just next door in case you need...
Good, she hates me. Let's keep at it.
- As a jerk... - You're the best.
You think so?
Say, boss,
know how far it is to Italy?
No.
Just over six miles.
No distance at all for a racing driver from Milan.
My accent's getting good.
I have a hold on the character.
Seen the suit?
I got the sponsors updated.
Looks good, huh?
Say the word,
and Matteo hits the starting line
in pole position next to you, pal.
Spaghetti Bolognese, bongole.
If we go after Schumacher's daughter, maybe.
Now get back to your computer.
Let's carry on.
Wow, what a slut.
Look at that hot ass.
You pig.
Her flaws?
A fan of George Michael,
knows Dirty Dancing by heart,
and a dead right shoulder.
You're kidding.
She eats Roquefort for breakfast.
Wild! Roquefort!
There's this too.
At the age of 20, she got into a top business school
but then vanished for a year before coming back,
abandoning business school and studying wine.
What did she do for a year?
No one knows, not even her father.
No one knows.
I've been waiting for so long
Now I've finally found someone
To stand by me
We saw the writing on the wall
As we felt this magical fantasy
Now with passion in our eyes
She split!
- Alex! - What?
- She split! - Shit!
My shoes!
- Fuck! - Your earpiece!
Ms. Van der Beck?
No idea!
Shit!
A gray taxi station wagon!
- What make? - Just find it!
Isn't that your mom up there?
Lucas, your bike!
Great idea, the bike!
Save the comments. Find her!
Near the Opera!
I don't see her!
I see you.
Marc, where is she?
Just a second.
Got her!
At the harbor! Go!
Step on it!
- Hello. - Hello.
I'm not that easy to get rid of.
Ni-hao.
Ms. Van der Beck, I'm paid to ensure your security.
Like it or not, I'm your bodyguard.
No one has treated me like this before!
You can get rid of me for 50,000.
Sorry?
30,000 for 15 days,
plus 20,000 for breach of contract.
That boat ride did you good.
And my father?
I'll say I'm watching you.
All my best.
Thank you.
The slap was a great idea. Excellent!
Melanie, the bag!
But it's a Hermes.
The bag!
You're a pain in the ass!
Hey.
Shit.
Are you okay?
You're bleeding?
I am.
It's nothing. Okay?
Yes, I'm fine.
Thank you.
I should thank you.
Let's go.
Excuse me, but can you explain?
You're a chambermaid, a parking valet, a waitress.
Who are you?
Now you come to mention it,
I should ask for a raise.
Hello, Ms. Van der Beck.
We need a code word.
Sorry?
If you have a problem,
you shout it, and I come running.
I know my job. We need a code word.
Handbag.
Huh?
Handbag. The code word.
Seriously?
Got a better one?
Hi, everyone.
This is Radio Monaco,
and you're with Matteo until midday.
We have a rich program today,
rich in good humor, coconut palms,
and tasty morsels.
First up, George Michael and Wham!
Get the hot vibes with Matteo!
Jitterbug
You put the boom-boom into my heart
You send my soul sky-high when your lovin' starts
Jitterbug into my brain
Goes a bang-bang-bang till my feet do the same
But something's bugging you
Something ain't right
My best friend told me what you did last night
Left me sleepin' in my bed
I was dreaming
But I should have been with you instead
Wake me up before you go-go
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo
Wake me up before you go-go
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up
Sorry.
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo
Wake me up before you go-go
Take me dancing tonight
I wanna hit that high
Yeah, yeah
You take the gray skies out of my way
You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day
Turned a bright spark into a flame
Do you like it?
It's magnificent.
Excuse me.
Yes?
Has she fallen for her bodyguard?
I could use more information.
Meaning?
What's Van der Beck's problem with this wedding?
I pay you to act, not to ask questions!
Get it?
I get it.
Handbag.
Handbag!
Shit!
I shout "handbag," and here he is!
It's not easy.
No, it isn't.
It's going to be tough.
Tough, yeah.
She's a real pain.
A right stuck-up cow.
Why complain?
You said the work was getting too easy!
Tonight we pull the air-con stunt.
See if she still takes the piss out of me then.
She's not wrong.
You tend to give in easily.
Hey, kids!
I told you not to run barefoot near the pool!
Just doing my job.
I understand.
I realize that.
But my air-conditioning has started up.
It's freezing in my room.
I'll send you someone to mend it right away.
Thank you.
Marc.
You're being promoted. Make it good.
I look the part, right?
Just a second...
Did he have a wig just now?
Did you tell him to limp?
No.
It started up. It's jammed.
No problem, mend it.
What's that accent?
He wears me out.
Shit.
Madam, please no tell.
Problem me one week here.
My boss send me back Poland, no work,
me tiny children, three!
You say nothing, madam.
Or problem van, problem papers, problem boss!
A problem?
No.
No, Miloslav no problem, I handle.
It's cold in here.
No problem.
I can't explain,
but I need a different room for the night.
I'm very sorry,
but the hotel is fully booked.
Have a good evening.
Thank you. Good-bye.
You can have my room.
I'll sleep in the car.
No, that's ridiculous.
Have the couch. Do you snore?
No.
- What's this? - Nothing.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I love this movie.
You do?
Yes, really.
I thought you'd be into more arty stuff.
And I thought you would be the action movie type.
We could watch it now.
If you like.
Shit!
Asshole electrician. Bad work. Bad work!
Hold the position!
I love this bit.
Me too.
Thank you for children, miss.
Me finish job soon.
Thank you.
I think I'll go to bed now if you don't mind.
Not at all, I understand.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
My rounds.
To check that everything's okay.
Look, I should be safe here. Can't you relax a bit?
You slept well?
Yes, thank you.
I ordered breakfast.
Thank you.
I'll be downstairs.
Roquefort.
Sorry, but I love it first thing.
Did it all go well last night?
I left before the end.
I was good, huh?
Tell me if you think I overdid it.
I can take criticism.
I won't get upset.
I get the feeling it was good.
I thought I did a good job.
Run with me.
I feel like Madonna otherwise.
In theory, I have to stick to a certain distance.
We have gone to the country
In your old car
We have lost our way
So many times
Hello
I take you on a trip
Hello
I take you on a trip
Have you secured the perimeter?
That's Menton to the right.
And Cape Martin.
A good restaurant there.
The Two Brothers.
Exactly.
Imagine you knowing that place.
I used to go with my mother for her birthday.
But...
not anymore.
She passed away.
I'm so sorry.
No, forgive me.
I'm sorry.
Look...
see the point there?
No.
Follow my finger.
There.
I went there with my mother too.
We should go back. I have an appointment.
We have lost our way
So many times
Are you married?
I'm single.
I'm not surprised.
- You can tell? - I can smell.
A wife would make you brush your teeth
after eating Roquefort.
By the way, you snore.
So do you.
Juliette!
Sophie?
Hi, Juliette.
It's okay. Let go of her.
Who is she?
A childhood friend. How come you didn't know?
This really sucks. We're useless.
Cancel Marineland.
Shame.
We just taught the dolphin to say your name.
And the coffee?
Keep it.
I was in my room and realized I had to make a choice.
Carry on getting wasted every night in Mykonos,
or forget that crap
and join my ex-best friend before her wedding.
Guess what I chose.
- What? - Your breast.
You could have warned me.
How will you manage?
This place is full.
You're in room 514, just next to Ms. Van der Beck.
Can you help? I lost my... my card.
Yeah?
I'm so happy to see you!
Are you okay?
No, I'm not.
My pussy's itching for a shag.
Alex, are you eating with us?
No, he's working.
And I have a wedding to organize.
A Sauvignon-Semillon assemblage
will be perfect with the lobster.
Yes, perfect with the lobster.
Everything fine?
Yes, Jacques, delicious.
We'll do even better on the big night.
Good, because this is kind of average.
Turn round.
Turn round!
It's good protection?
Vulcanologists use it.
You don't have to stay.
It's pretty boring.
Yeah, it is a drag.
I need to move the car. I'll be right back.
Sorry, sir.
I didn't see you.
- Didn't it scald you? - I'm okay.
We'll see to it.
Sit down, Alex.
I'm okay.
Very good, sir.
Are you sure?
I didn't feel a thing.
Since a motorbike ran me down,
I've lost all feeling in this thigh.
Incredible! My shoulder too. A skiing accident.
Seriously?
I swear. It's incredible.
So you won't feel a fork jabbed in your thigh?
In theory, no.
I recently put on a new shirt and didn't feel the pins.
Dumb bitch!
Wrong thigh!
Sorry.
And now?
Not a thing.
Isn't the human body incredible?
Are you sick?
No, I'm dieting.
- Let's get wasted. - No.
- Please, just once. - No.
You're no fun anymore.
We're going to the Opera, a Chopin recital.
Yes, Alex.
No, no problem.
Don't worry. You've had a long day.
I never call my father, so I'm not going to tell on you.
Have a good evening.
See you tomorrow.
What?
Nothing.
What is it?
Nothing.
What?
Look, third row.
I don't get it.
I never said we were here.
Let me see.
Know what?
I think I'll bang him later if you don't mind.
Why would I mind?
- You've thought about it. - You're nuts.
You've become such a drag.
Shh!
He doesn't sleep around.
Sure! The guy oozes sex.
I swear.
When I slept in his room, he barely looked at me.
What?
My air-con went haywire.
I was cold.
It happens.
You're an ace. She was hooked.
Tonight, I conclude. Tomorrow, Paris.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
What?
My air-con is broken.
- May I sleep here? - No.
That's not possible.
This is a bad time.
It's warm in here.
Yes, but...
It's...
I have a load of things to do. I can't right now.
I have to work.
I'll take a shower. I'll go take a shower.
Wait. Let me clean you.
Wait.
The nympho's in my room.
She'll screw things up!
Work something out!
Come on.
I don't have time.
Babe, when you try to feel
And you always shut me up
You say that's all bullshit
And you go back to the pub, darling
Oh, I'll never trust in you
So I never know
You're out of your mind!
You said anything goes. Make your mind up.
Shit.
She's hot.
What do you reckon? Taken a look at her?
Just keep her in your room.
No sweat.
Yes?
I am...
the bodyguard.
Alex, isn't it?
Yeah.
Well...
everything's all right?
Yeah, yeah, everything's great.
And, look, thanks for being there
for Juliette this week.
I-I really appreciate it.
That's my job.
That's what I do.
Great, thanks.
He seems nice.
We don't really need him here, though, now, do we?
Maybe you're right.
I'm glad you're here.
So am I.
The Brit turned up. It's getting complicated.
What do you want?
An advance or I quit right now.
You get paid when you finish. Good luck.
I'm onto a big deal.
Give me three days. Call Frank!
Don't call now!
Frank.
Tomorrow.
Not my face.
Thanks.
If you want Italian food,
I can suggest pasta or pizza.
Pizza.
Pizza?
Melanie!
Just a sec.
Where have you been? Ni-hao.
Where are you going?
- Get Marc. He's with Sophie. - With Sophie?
Where to?
The airport.
- What? - To... to the airport.
You're leaving?
To Las Vegas.
We're gonna get married.
Great.
Congratulations.
I just can't say no to her.
La notte e stellata, e tremano, azzurri,
gli astri, in lontananza.
Who are you?
You were screaming my name all night.
I'm Matteo.
Know what? We'll make love again.
Then you'll remember.
- Shit, I need coffee. - I have better.
This bedroom sucks. Let's fuck someplace else.
Buongiorno.
It's cool. I'll explain.
I don't want to know. We have to leave!
Mi amore. We're forever!
Cut it out!
You're a total idiot!
She has to stay here.
- Please, don't go. - Sorry?
You can't get married on a whim.
You need to think it over.
I'm just doing it two days early.
Las Vegas isn't all it's cracked up to be.
50% of weddings there end in divorce.
Good-bye, Alex.
Melanie, where the hell are you?
Congratulations. Really.
Las Vegas, that's pretty wild.
Thank you, Alex. We have to go.
Then again...
it'll upset your parents.
I got married two years ago without inviting them.
They were hurt.
And then...
they died.
Dead.
Look, I'm really sorry for your loss,
but I have to go.
I haven't checked the plane.
Good-bye, Alex.
I hope you're on board. We're in deep shit.
You screw up our biggest job ever!
You guys piss me off!
A problem?
I have a fitting to do.
Look, I'm sorry, Juliette, but I have to see them.
What's wrong?
Handle security, not my private life.
Hi, Alex.
I don't get it. What's happening?
I'll explain later.
Drop us on Avenue Monte Carlo, please.
Don't bother waiting. We'll manage.
Come on, tell me. What happened?
His parents called him.
And?
He couldn't do that to them.
He chickened out.
I'm not surprised. He's a real bore.
Don't say that.
That's right, I forgot.
You're like him now.
No, don't cry.
It's because I'm happy.
I'm happy you're here.
I'm happy too.
I hadn't forgotten you, you know.
Excuse me.
- Is there a problem? - A problem?
Yes, there are 50 problems.
I'm sorry?
- Are you the manager? - Yes.
Thierry Lamar from sales. You did the training?
Yes.
- What's your name? - Sandrine.
Sandrine, this place is a mess.
It's like some bazaar.
We're useless. The plane was the last straw.
Instead of one step ahead, we're ten behind.
So what do we do?
We work without a safety net.
I like it. I can do it.
The Brit's screwing it all up.
No, we were wrong about Juliette.
I had the same feeling.
She's a dormant volcano, always in control.
She lies to everyone. Even to herself.
That's one thing in common.
Both compulsive liars.
What I can do for starters is...
You do nothing.
I'll wake the volcano.
Sure, wake the volcano.
What is it?
Nothing.
I've been waiting for so long
Now I've finally found someone
To stand by me
The first time you saw Melanie, you...
I fell in love.
Right away?
It was like a revelation.
I knew she was the one.
I gave this sort of frozen smile.
- You didn't? - I did.
That's a smile? You look like a dickhead.
But I'd briefed you.
I was freaked out.
I hooked her talking about dual-core processors.
- Your turn or mine? - You.
It worked. She couldn't stop laughing.
That's what got our business started, after all.
This could be love
Because
I've had
It still needs work.
Juliette, I heard you wanted to cancel the fireworks.
Yes, I thought it was a bit too much.
I ordered a martini without an olive.
Jonathan, don't you agree it would be a shame not to?
Well, I think we should respect Juliette's wishes.
Did you choose this hotel?
Yes.
Why?
Well, don't you think it's a bit tacky?
I mean, all these people wandering about in swimsuits?
I took a peek at the menu.
I-I do feel that we could make some improvements.
Mother, please, don't start.
Juliette's been organizing this entire wedding on her own.
She has my complete faith.
You're right.
Sorry, Juliette.
It's okay.
Well, I've booked a table at the Louis Cannes.
Will you join us?
Thank you, but no.
Tonight it's just the two of us.
I'll grab a bite to eat.
Good idea. A very good idea.
Bro?
- You're not hungry? - No.
I'll use the time to get everything finished here.
I can't believe in 24 hours, you're gonna be my wife.
I know.
We've blown it.
The wedding's tomorrow.
We could try kidnapping him.
Alex!
Come and see.
Shit!
Good evening.
Can't sleep.
Same here.
I'm sorry about earlier.
Really.
It's the wedding and everything.
I'm on edge.
Want to take a walk?
Why not?
I'll be downstairs.
- Sure about this? - Yes.
- Want us to come? - No.
- Take an earpiece. - No.
I'm improvising tonight. On my own.
What shall we do?
Just a sec.
Welcome to the Monte Carlo Bay.
Do I know you?
Sorry, I don't speak...
Have a good evening.
You put the boom-boom into my heart
You send my soul sky-high when your lovin' starts
Jitterbug into my brain
Where to?
No idea, but we're going there!
But something's bugging you
Something ain't right
My best friend told me what you did last night
Left me sleepin' in my bed
Close your eyes. Keep them closed.
There's a step here.
Careful.
That's it.
Come on, follow me. We're nearly there.
Climb over this thing here.
Okay.
Squat down.
Well?
It's a pool.
Not exactly.
Like it?
Shall we swim?
No.
Shit!
Quick!
I'm hungry.
I know a place.
Hey, Carlo.
I'm closing. You're too late.
The chef has gone.
I'll do the cooking. A dish of pasta.
Everywhere else is closed.
The lady's hungry.
How does a guy like you end up with a babe like her?
You screwed her?
Not yet.
Can I get a glass of wine?
Sure.
Eat up while it's hot.
I added a little mint.
Delicious.
Married this year.
If you have the last drop.
It's tomorrow. Wish me something else.
A beautiful love story.
What's the craziest thing you've done for love?
As a kid, I fell for a girl in my class, Agnes.
Her dad taught us French.
For her, I joined the school theater group.
We worked on Tristan and Isolde.
I was Tristan.
She was Isolde.
Yes.
After the performance,
during the curtain call,
I declared my love onstage in front of everyone.
And?
Nothing.
She didn't love me.
I looked like a total jerk.
I quit the workshop
and changed schools shortly after.
Excuse me.
Hello?
Juliette, where are you?
You scared me to death.
No, don't worry.
I'm with Sophie.
What are you doing?
She organized a surprise bachelorette party.
I didn't want to wake you.
Okay, well, just come back soon, okay?
Okay.
Bye-bye.
Now I've
Had the time of my life
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've
Had the time of my life
And I owe it all to you
I've been waiting for so long
Now I've finally found someone
To stand by me
We saw the writing on the wall
As we felt this magical fantasy
Now with passion in our eyes
There's no way we could disguise it secretly
So we take each other's hand
'Cause we seem to understand
The urgency
Just remember
You're the one thing
I can't get enough of
So I'll tell you something
This could be love
Because
I've had
The time of my life
No, I never felt this way before
Yes, I swear
It's the truth
And I owe it all to you
'Cause I've had
The time of my life
And I've searched through every open door
Till I found
The truth
And I owe it all to you
I never imagined you danced so well.
It's my favorite movie.
It's crazy you like it too.
I know, the uptight princess falling for the bad boy.
Dumb, but I like it.
Sorry, but you don't get the film.
No?
It's all about the animal side,
the sexual tension.
It's wild.
Yeah, you're right.
Seen from that angle...
Were you on vacation here?
I'm here on business.
I work in finance.
I run a food bank that feeds 2 million children
all around the world.
That's wonderful.
Yeah, wonderful.
But I don't brag about it.
My pride is my wife.
The love of my life.
Here's to your wife, then.
Strong cocktail.
It's funny.
I'm married to an amazing guy too.
Actually, he's a racing driver in Milan.
You lucky girl.
Ever thought of cheating on him?
Actually...
Yeah, with you.
You could cheat on me?
If I cheat on you with you, it's not cheating.
Same difference.
You really hurt my feelings.
Come closer.
You have something there.
My last night as a single girl was perfect.
Thank you.
I feel good with you.
You don't try to impress me.
You're natural, without any lies or pretense.
But I don't know much about you.
That's not true.
I told you about my biggest humiliation.
But you've told me nothing.
The day I got into business school,
I went to celebrate with Sophie
at a Boston Rats concert.
No one knows them. An indie heavy metal group.
We were in the front row, we'd been drinking,
and the singer invited us onto the stage to dance.
I slept with him, Sophie with the drummer,
and then we went on tour.
I was mad about him.
We traveled the world.
We were backup singers, groupies.
Not the only groupies after a while,
but I didn't care.
It lasted almost a year.
And then Mom died.
I wasn't there for her funeral.
My dad never forgave me. Neither did I.
What is it?
Nothing. Why?
I don't know. You...
Don't be offended, but you look like a bit of a...
Dickhead.
Exactly.
I feel good with you too.
I told you, he's a real pro.
Thank you.
What's he doing?
What a jerk.
You were right.
When it gets tough, he chickens out.
It's not that.
So can you explain what you're doing?
It's the plan. No problem.
There is a problem.
We think you're confused.
Don't fail us now, Alex.
You've come a long way.
Sophie.
Thank you.
If Jonathan asks, I was with you all night, okay?
You slut. Who were you with?
Alex.
You shagged him?
No way.
Are you screwing up?
What do you mean?
Your guy's Prince Charming and filthy rich too.
First get married.
Then you can shag anything in trousers, okay?
Believe me, that's what I'd do.
Maybe there's some mistake.
Speak English?
You speak English?
That'll show you, asshole.
How was it?
Nice.
I wish you'd told me.
Well, if Miss Van der Beck wants to get married
in a couple of hours,
I think she'd better hurry up.
Wait.
You've awoken me, Juliette.
I haven't felt this alive in ages.
Thanks to you, but for me...
I feel alive thanks to you too.
Hold on. Let me finish, please.
For me, it's too late.
I'm far away from here.
I'll cancel the wedding, everything.
Forget what I just told you.
We had a lovely evening, it was really great,
but it ends right here.
It's Van der Beck.
Your mission is over.
All right.
What's she going to do?
She's getting married.
Neither you nor I can hope to stop her.
You did a great job.
As if I cared.
We're pulling out. It's over.
What's wrong?
Who is he?
Who?
Who is he?
Who?
Him there. Who is he?
Shit.
Is he dead?
Not yet.
Who is he?
Stop playing with that thing!
Cut it out! What the hell is this?
- What? - I'm not your dog!
A kind word could help!
Fucker.
- How much do you owe? - A lot.
- You suck. - I know.
Sorry about the photos.
You don't have anything to prove.
I got the message since your mother died ten years ago.
You're a serious, independent woman
with a brilliant career.
But what are you trying to prove by marrying Jonathan?
I have nothing against him.
He's wonderful, smart, brilliant,
and no doubt very kind.
But he'll bore you to tears.
Excuse me.
Look, I know it's said to bring bad luck,
but you look just incredible.
I'm sorry.
About what?
A week before committing to a man for life,
it's only natural to have some moments of doubt.
I saw you two this morning.
Do you have them too?
Doubts, I mean.
The first moment I saw you, I knew you were the one.
Women in couples come in three categories:
Happy,
knowingly unhappy,
and unhappy without admitting it.
I work on that final category. We're here to help them.
Our job: Break up a relationship.
Our goal: Open their eyes.
Our method: Seduction.
But we only break up couples.
We never break hearts.
My name is Alex Lippi,
and today I've broken my own heart.
I'm glad to be going home.
Back to our ordinary lives.
What are you going back to, Alex?
Your petty lies,
your brief flings...
- Thanks a lot. - You're welcome.
It's a real pity.
After all, you really liked her.
Yeah, but she...
What?
What, Alex?
What was last night like?
A dream.
Never mind.
With your pretty looks,
you'll soon find a Sandrine or a Karine or whatever
and forget her name after sex.
What does it matter?
Dad was right.
You chicken out when it gets tough.
You're all pissing me off.
I don't chicken out!
You piss me off!
Why yell at me?
Screw this! Screw it!
I never said a word!
Whatever happened to the great escape
And all the plans we made
I'm off to see the woman of my dreams.
Congratulations.
I'm telling you because I don't have any money.
How much do you pay a guy to seduce a daughter?
Not a thing.
He refused my money.
There's a car parked outside with the keys in the ignition.
Just in case.
The finest ever made
Crafted with pride by masters of the trade
The world's greatest circus
We have the story
Oh, no.
Of the impossible
A tale
Best told softly
One of make-believe
Maybe impossible
To achieve
And really close
Who soothed the lions
Hungry in their cage
With the confidence of a clown
I hate Roquefort, I'd never seen Dirty Dancing,
I think George Michael is crap, and my thigh's just fine.
I don't know if I'm good enough for you.
I don't have a jet or an apartment.
I sleep in my office.
But I know I need to see you each day.
So...
Maybe impossible
To achieve
And really close
Whatever happened
To the great escape
And all the plans we made
Crafted with pride by masters of the trade
The world's greatest circus
I don't believe it.
How could she do this to you?
That's life.
You know, I'm here.
He won't know he owed me the money?
Never.
I told you he's a bit thick.
Don't talk like that about my daughter's guy.
The little man who rises on the stage
As he falls without a safety net
- Need a hand? - Thank you.
I can't work this thing.
Look, a stray dog!
They're rare in this trashy neighborhood.
You okay?
The memories are flooding back.
I've never felt so alive.
You've awoken me, Corinne.
You've awoken things buried deep inside me.
Just a second.
I don't fall in love easily.
You deserve better.
Let go of me!
You deserve better.
You're hurting me, you creep!
Let go!
Sicko!
Stupid cow.
You deserve a decent guy!
How was I?
Well, the lines aren't too bad.
I could tell she was nearly hooked,
but then I lost her.
She seemed to be reacting well, but then...
Maybe she thought I was going to jump on her.
Did I overdo it?
No, it was just fine.
It looked good to you?
I can't tell. I lack distance.
I'm caught up in it.
I couldn't get the tears to flow.
That's what threw me.
Anyway, it's time to pull out. Let's go, honey.
I was a breath away.
Don't get hung up. It's over now.
I bombed. I'll have to live with it.
Some people call me the space cowboy
Yeah
Some call me the gangster of love
Some people call me Maurice
'Cause I speak
Of the pompatus of love
People talk about me, baby
Say I'm doin' you wrong
Doin' you wrong
Well, don't you worry, baby
Don't worry
Cause' I'm right here, right here, right here
Right here at home
Cause' I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun
I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I sure don't want to hurt no one
I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun
I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I get my lovin' on the run
Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
Whoo, ooh, ooh-ooh
You're the cutest thing
That I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey
Lovey-dovey all the time
Ooh-whee, baby
I'll sure show you a good time
Cause' I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun
I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I get my lovin' on the run
I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun
I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I sure don't want to hurt no one
Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
Whoo, ooh, ooh-ooh