- Cowboys? - Cowboys?
Yes, fine, you're free to go watch the game. Go on.
[sighs]
[Fran] Mom, you barely touched your food.
The turkey was dry, even the cranberry sauce couldn't save it.
- Hi. - Hi.
- You good? - Yes, I'm good.
Fran, this was a lovely meal, thank you so much.
I'm so glad someone appreciates it.
How about you? You about ready to head out?
You want to leave now?
Well, I have this work call later tonight,
and I wanted to spend a little time with just us beforehand.
I thought that we could go for a walk out in the garden.
Dad put the lights up.
He's a busy man, Olivia. You understand.
No... Yeah, that's fine.
Of course we can take a walk around the garden.
- It'll be nice. - Okay.
I'm going to go do the dishes.
- Okay. - Okay.
Mom, it's Thanksgiving.
He shouldn't be working on Thanksgiving,
and you shouldn't encourage it.
Oh, honey, lighten up!
He said he'd take a walk with you.
And anyway, maybe his work thing is really you.
[whispering] What is that supposed to mean?
[whispering] You just celebrated your one-year anniversary!
[Fran] Don't you think he has something else planned tonight?
Like what?
Oh, I don't know, maybe a six-karat cushion cut stocking stuffer
that he spent his entire Christmas bonus on just for you.
- No. - I'm just saying.
[Livvy] I bet you never thought that...
you would create your own app and be the head CEO
of your... own company in less than six years?
No, I did not.
[sighs] It's crazy... But that's life, isn't it?
Things... changing all the time.
Yeah.
But I think that everything that's been happening
for both of us,
I think that, you know, change is a good thing.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- With change comes growth, right? - Yes, right.
Okay, well, there's something that I really want to talk to you about.
And... I mean, we've been dating for what? Almost a year?
November 28th will be a year.
Right. Yeah... Um.
So, well, since it's been almost a year...
I've been doing a lot of thinking...
And you know how deeply I care about you, right?
And... [clears his throat] And that's why...
I can't keep this going,
between us, knowing that ultimately in my heart,
you and I just aren't quite right for each other.
- What? - And I know this is bad timing
with Thanksgiving and your family and all, and,
believe me, I wanted to wait until after the holidays, I did.
But I... [sighs]
I just did not think that was going to be fair to you.
You're... breaking up with me?
No... Baby, come on. Don't put it like that.
I thought you were going to propose to me.
Oh... Wow.
I'm so sorry.
I really do care about you, Livvy, but marriage...
- Surprise! - Congrats!
- [bells jangle] - [cheering]
Did you say yes?
Yeah.
[sighs]
[pop music playing]
♪ Ooh, ooh, yeah, baby ♪
[scratches]
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Baby I can't stop this feeling ♪
♪ My body's filled with butterflies ♪
♪ My body's filled with butterflies ♪/
♪ Snow is falling Bells are ringing, jingling ♪
♪ That's how everybody knows it's almost ♪
[Murphy] I don't care what the DA has to say, honestly...
Hold on.
♪ Singing carols by the fire, oh yeah ♪
That's great.
♪ Staring deep into your eyes, oh yeah ♪
♪ If I can't have you I'll go crazy, baby ♪
♪ Santa's really got his work cut out for him tonight ♪
Livvy?
[banging on door]
[Tyler] Olivia Beal answer the door right now
or I swear I will bust through...
with my spare set of keys.
♪ And it'll be Christmas every day ♪ -[sniffs]
- [door shuts] - Livvy?
Ooh...
Um... Okay...
Hey. Can we get up now?
It's December 9th, and... even the clueless barista
who makes your morning Christmas mint latte
is starting to worry.
- Did you say December 9th? - Uh-huh.
The Housewives Holiday Happy Hour,
I haven't even put down the deposit on the teahouse,
and scheduled a caterer, Tyler!
It's a good thing your trusty assistant
was on top of things.
- Huh! - Okay.
But we still have a party to throw today, so please get up and get showered.
- Now? - Yes, now!
Chocolate-covered caramel corn?
Girl, get a grip. No. Go, shower.
Yeah, see, nobody wants to see that.
Now go... Vamonos. Come on.
- Okay, I'm going. - Step over the pillow. Come on.
[women chattering, giggling]
It's so good to see you. Livvy...
You've done an amazing job.
But all matching snow bunny boots for the exchange?
I mean, that's kind of a risky bet, wasn't it?
But thanks to you,
when our husbands drag us to Aspen this year,
we won't have to fight over who wore them first, so cheers to that.
Oh my gosh. Can I give your card
to my husband's boss at his firm?
I know their normal party planner.
He's actually a little under the weather,
- and they have this big New Year's Eve's bash. - Thank you.
But I'm actually going through a break...
So it's actually perfect timing. Thank you that would be amazing.
Okay, I'm going to go mingle. So, do what you do. [giggles]
- Umm! - What? You heard her.
She told me earlier
that they'd be offering 15 G's just for your commission alone!
And the nine pairs of matching boots?
It worked, didn't it?
And besides, I was running myself ragged at the office last week.
It's not like I had any help.
I'm sorry. You did a great job.
- Okay, thank you. - Who knows?
What if this New Year's gig is the turn of a whole new tea leaf?
Maybe some handsome, grounded, young bachelor,
who donates his holiday bonus to the Red Cross every year,
shows up destined to meet with you.
With a hot, closeted twin brother?
[whispers] Exactly.
You know what? You're right. You're right.
This New Year's going to be a whole new start for me.
Next time Anderson sees me, he's going to be sad and alone,
and I'm going to be with someone even better.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
[spits]
- What? - Nothing.
- What just happened? - Nothing.
[gasps]
[laughs] Come here!
[Livvy gasps]
Oh, okay. Thanks.
- You scared me. Oh my gosh. - I'll let you go.
Oh my God.
I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
Whoa, Livvy! Just put down the cupcake and let's talk about this.
[mumbles] That big fat cheater!
Maybe he just started seeing her?
You're right, he's a cheater.
How could I not know he was a cheater?
You know what?
I should go down there and tell that child that he's a jerk.
Before he takes her back for what clearly is a 10 p.m. curfew.
Okay!
If you wanna come across looking like a psychotic stalker ex.
Unleash the beast, Tyler!
Livvy, if you want revenge,
just blast his past all over the Web for the world to see.
True revenge is a dish best served over social media.
What are you talking about? Dish?
Rateyourex.com?
It's that site where people go to complain about their exes.
[muttering] And how do you know all this?
I always do rigorous background checks on my paramours.
How else would I know about all their favorite movies and music before I meet them?
All the girls are doing it.
How have you not heard about this?
Because you're my only girlfriend, Ty.
And I can't just blast Anderson on a website for the whole world to see.
Why not? He publicly humiliated you in front of your family.
You even said your mom sent you home with a plate of leftovers
labelled "Livvy Hearts Anderson."
I say, out his sorry butt.
Because even if I did, he would know it was me.
And then I would be Livvy the loony ex.
Not if you're not the first one.
No, no. This was an isolated incident
because he thought we were getting too serious.
He got scared and dated some thing that he cares nothing for. Okay?
[laughs] Okay.
Whatever keeps those sugar plums dancing in your head at night, dear.
[giggles] Hi.
Hi.
[typing]
[phone vibrates]
Livvy, put down the wine.
Put down the barbell, Ty.
[Livvy] Listen, you were right. I went to that site,
and two of his exes had just posted there and they were just the locals.
I'm not going to say I told you so, but I told you so.
So, I'm actually meeting PrincessPie82 and Fitigator for coffee tomorrow.
Princess what and Fit-n-gay who?
The girls Anderson dumped right before me.
I messaged them,
and they agreed to meet me for coffee!
But you don't know the first thing about these girls.
Well, I know that Anderson broke their heart just as much as he did mine.
So, then, expose his cheating in your story, that's what the site is for, Livvy.
[Livvy] No, no. A testimonial is not enough.
I mean, What if this next girl doesn't see it? I didn't.
I need to know why he does this, why he keeps doing this.
Because he's a jerk, Livvy.
[Ty] And sometimes there is no reason.
I gave him a year of my life.
Okay, I need to have some kind of resolution,
and I think these girls might be able to help.
[sighs] Just be careful.
You don't know if these girls are total whack jobs.
[Livvy] They dated Anderson.
They're clearly as stable and sane as I am. [giggles]
[Ty] Go to bed, Livvy.
Ty?
Hi. You must be Murphy McCall.
And you must be Olivia. You're late.
- Oh, I'm sorry. - I normally bill out at 350 an hour.
Two minutes is 12 bucks, Ms. Beal.
Can I buy you a coffee?
I don't like to owe anyone anything, so it will be my treat.
What about the other girl? Is she coming, or...?
Well, she just texted and said she's running late, but...
Okay, if I don't get caffeine in me in the next few minutes,
everyone within reaching distance is going to pay. Shall we?
Welcome to the Toasty Roast. Happy holidays. What can I do for you?
I'll have a double shot
with a splash of non-fat. Thanks.
Hi! Are you Livvy?
Zoe! So nice to meet you.
Sorry, I have to go to work after this
and curse this corset,
I just couldn't get it on tight enough.
But wow, it's so nice to finally meet you!
Wait, finally? How long have you two been talking?
Oh, I just meant, since we've all shared in the same tragedy,
that's like unspoken sisterhood in my book.
A book I'm sure comes fully illustrated.
And you must be our other sister!
I'm pretty sure I'm an only child,
but Murphy, nice to meet you.
So do Santa's helpers include 10 maids-a-milkin'
now at the mall?
[Zoe] Oh, the mall? No, no.
I am a working actress,
at Party Princess.
The place they rent out for birthdays?
Mm-hmm. I play a storybook maiden,
and then after the cake, I'm enchanted into a princess.
Sounds like a great job.
[Murphy] Okay, let's get the facts straight.
So, you are saying that you randomly saw Anderson
get into his car last night with some... girl,
and that's the proof that he cheated on all of us?
Yes.
No. I don't really know, but something doesn't add up.
When I think about him, I still get stressed,
and when I get stressed, I'm an emotional eater.
[Murphy] Look, your theory is absurd.
I can smell a liar a mile away.
I know, I smell that way. I'm a litigator.
Now, was I upset when Anderson dumped me
ten months after his company settled a court case
that they outsourced me for? Yes!
But the only reason he did that
was because he was falling so deeply for me
and he couldn't handle those feelings.
Not because he met her.
No offense.
That's what I thought, but humor me one moment.
When did you and Anderson break up?
I don't remember.
I paid a therapist good money to black out that entire year.
Okay, well, the rant you posted was on December 10th,
three years ago.
Was that the date that you broke up?
Give or take a few days, yes.
[Livvy] Okay, Zoe.
You posted on December 10th a year ago.
Do you remember the actual date that you broke up?
I remember it was a particularly chilly day...
The date, Zoe! The date!
Sorry! December 2nd.
That was a month after he hired me for the holiday party,
which means he was seeing me
three weeks before he dumped you.
That...
unbelievable...
Two-timing, love-drunk swindler!
Don't know how he does it. I swear.
It was that one-month anniversary at Belvederes,
I was hook, line, and...
He took you there too?
So what?
So he cheated on me with a party princess pizza server.
It just is what it is, and it's done.
Where are you going?
I'm going home, and I'm going to call my therapist
and ravel up all this crazy that the two of you just unraveled.
So, thank you very much, ladies. Merry Christmas!
[Livvy] Wait, Murphy!
Don't you owe it to this new girl
to show her what a scumbag Anderson really is?
I don't owe that girl a thing.
Don't you owe it to yourself?
I mean, if you could go back and see through his tricks,
your favorite flowers delivered on the first Friday
of every month.
Or the way he would leave little notes on the refrigerator
feigning excitement
for the wonderful weekend he has planned for us.
Or how he would wait until the lights go down in the theater
before offering you a red licorice
with half of it dangling out of his mouth about to kiss you!
If you had a chance to see his wolf eyes under all that fleece,
I mean, wouldn't you take it?
So what do you want us to do?
You want us to go meet this girl
and unravel all of our crazy onto her?
No. No crazy exes here.
I devised an even better plan
to get even with Mr. Whitmire this holiday season.
It went off in my head last night like a bright red bulb.
Oh! Can we call it "Operation: Rudolph's Revenge"?
Yay! Okay, what are we going to do?
[Livvy] We pray on his weaknesses around her.
We show his true natures' self
without them even knowing we were there.
So how do you propose that we do that?
Who knows Anderson better than we do?
Who has a key to his place?
Knows every meticulous routine to a tee
and knows how afraid he gets
when things don't go according to plan.
I venture to say that the three of us
knows every ploy he's willing to pull.
And if we can just stay one hoof in front of him,
I can assure you
there will be no Whitmire for the win this holiday season.
Who's with me?
Code name Cupid Claus, reporting for duty!
And Rudolph has never been more ready for revenge.
What about you, Vixen?
You out, or you in?
Let's put triple exes
all over his holiday greeting card this year.
I could be at a holiday happy hour right now.
Where is this guy?
There he is.
Tyler, meet Zoe and Murphy.
And Izzy Wizzy Wuzzy Pup.
Hi, ladies, and Izzy Wuzzy.
[Livvy] Okay, so tell me.
The flowers were delivered to Anderson's office.
What?
Why? That's impossible.
I know, but that's where the courier took his 3:30 delivery.
He is probably delivering the flowers to her himself.
Well, so much for Plan A, guys.
This has been a colossal waste of time.
Maybe she works there too.
What?
Zoe's right.
She works there.
It makes sense. She's a holiday intern.
- Oh that... - [Livvy] You know what?
Murphy, this could work in our favor.
This is a good thing.
[Tyler] What are you doing? I thought you said,
you were just going to write a note and be done with it.
Nope. Girls, we're going to make an anonymous basket
for Anderson come first thing Monday morning.
What do you want to put in it?
[Murphy] So what's the plan?
You guys hang tight. When lunch arrives,
Anderson will retreat to his office as per usual,
and I will deliver his Christmas basket to his temp.
Oh, that'll be lunch.
I hope Anderson's cold-cut is cold.
I don't know what that means.
Neither do I.
Wish me luck!
[inaudible office chatter]
[office chatter]
[woman] It was so cute!
We were holding hands for like half an hour.
And then we went to this fabulous little ice cream shop on Third.
He ordered us two scoops of strawberry balsamic to share.
- That's so cute. - Right?
Can I help you with something?
Hi.
I was just admiring Anderson's big, beautiful basket.
Anderson's office is down the hall.
No, no, it's not.
I'm pretty sure that it is.
At least for the last two months because this is my office now.
Oh... Who are you?
I work here. Shouldn't I be asking you that question?
Yeah, I am... I am... [clears throat]
[stammers] Olivia Beale.
Ah. I am Carter.
Bolton. I'm the new VP of software development.
Are you Anderson's lady friend?
[scoffs] No.
I just worked here last year at the holiday party.
Oh, yeah. I heard it was a big hit.
I'm a big hitter.
[nervous laughter]
[Carter clears throat]
So... you said you just saw this sitting here when you came in?
You didn't see who dropped it off?
Right, and I think that maybe it could be...
[chuckles] There is no name.
I wonder if I have a secret admirer.
Yeah, maybe.
"You've been naughty this year."
I know who this is from.
So Anderson's not the only person who needs a lump of coal brownies?
Oh, were you digging around in my basket?
It was nice to meet you.
- I'm going to go. - Oh, okay.
[screaming]
- Oh, my God! - It's okay.
I'm so sorry! Let me help you!
It's all right. I'm good, thank you.
- Okay... - I'm good.
Okay, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, wow. Cute shoes. - Sorry.
I'm so sorry.
- You okay? - Yeah.
- Okay. - Who's that?
Oh, that's Anderson's new assistant, Megan.
She's a temp-to-hire.
She's... really pretty.
You seem a little jealous.
I just think, she could be an office distraction.
Wow. Well, I mean, if Anderson was discriminating
against someone for being too pretty,
he might not have hired you either.
[scoffs] Yeah.
You know what?
Here is my card, Ms. Beal.
If by any chance you would be interested, I...
In a date with you? Just... probably not.
No.
No, I was actually just going to ask if you could help me out
with the holiday party at the country club.
I drew the short straw and I just figured you've done it before...
Yeah, I'm just... kind of busy right now.
Hence why Anderson probably didn't mention my name.
And you know it's going to be a secret that I was here,
so maybe if you like... didn't mention it.
Okay. Yeah, yeah sure.
You know what? Why don't you keep my card anyway
just in case...
Okay.
So, how was it?
Did she leave him red and crumbling in tidal wave of tears
in front of the entire boardroom?
Whoa! Do you need a back rub?
He changed offices.
So I delivered it to the wrong office
and his co-worker ended up with it.
And then his co-worker thought it was from this girl he was with last night.
I am... beyond words right now.
Great.
Well, that is another mandatory vacation day
wasted on Anderson Whitmire.
So now what?
His one-month anniversary is coming up soon, right?
That can only mean...
- Belvedere's. - Belvedere's!
Exactly!
A little booze, a lot of witnesses...
Sounds like a prime set-up for sabotage!
Okay. So what are we going to do?
I have an idea.
What does Anderson hate more than anything else
during the holidays?
Feel-good music.
Fruit cake!
No.
Jeez. That's him?
You guys missed a great show.
Beau? Livvy and Murphy. Guys? Meet Santa.
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
Ain't he cute?
Well, I hope you have an Oscar-caliber Santa hiding somewhere in those slippers.
Okay, how do I look?
- You look just like Santa! - Perfect.
Oh, hey!
- You look so good! - Yes!
We just contacted Belvedere's.
They have a 7 p.m. reservation,
and they'll be leaving anytime now.
He's going to do whatever he can not to pay you,
so you need to not give in without a fight. Okay?
All good, ladies. I am a trained professional.
So remember, just look for the...
Flax-haired hottie with a smile you can snack on for days.
- I got it. - Okay, are we don't with this little powwow,
'cause it's 6:30, and he's going to be coming down any minute.
Okay?
Good luck!
[bell chiming]
[Megan] That's not true.
- Well, it might be. It could be. - I feel like it's not, though.
Well, hey.
Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas, kids.
Aren't you too sweet?
You look a little young to play Santa, huh?
Ho ho ho!
Never too young to help out the homeless.
A few pennies for the poor?
All proceeds go to the local shelter.
[Megan] Yes, absolutely.
There you go! [clears throat]
- Babe. - 'Tis the season to be giving.
[Megan clears throat]
Sorry, man. I don't have any more cash.
[Megan] But you always have cash.
Not tonight.
Well, how were you going to tip the valet?
Hey, it's all good.
I get it. Money is tight around the holidays.
You don't have the money. I don't judge.
Are you even legit, man?
You don't exactly look like a charity Santa to me.
I may not be the real Santa...
but I am one of Santa's little helpers.
Okay, look, man, we have a dinner reservation at seven o'clock,
so I don't really have time for this, but I'll tell you what.
You show up on Monday wearing your cute little outfit,
and I'll bring some cash, and I'll throw you a 20. Okay?
[Megan coughs]
No cash?
Well, I guess I forgot I went to the ATM last night.
- It was so late. - Of course!
Short-term memory loss is rampant this day and age.
[Megan clears throat]
Two hundred dollars.
- Wow, thank you. - Oh, okay.
[Megan] Don't worry about it. It's not hurting him.
Plus, the shelter needs it more than he does.
Right.
Merry Christmas to you.
Bless you.
Okay.
Homeless shelter, let's see...
Thirteen hundred bucks.
That ought to feed the charity through the new year, yeah?
Look, man, I'm sorry, but I have been scammed before.
And, well, I guess you're legit, right?
You are the real deal? You're going to send me a receipt for this?
Sure. Yeah. No problem.
Yeah, okay. Good.
That was really sweet.
Well, what can I say?
Sometimes I have a soft spot for the homeless.
[Megan laughs]
Sorry, guys. That dude's a charmer.
I can't believe he shelled out 1,300 hundred bucks
for some holiday intern.
She's like an after-school special that knows how to have fun.
It is disgusting!
Well, at least we helped feed the homeless.
Yeah, but now he looks like some good Samaritan
instead of some two-timing pile of reindeer patties
he really is.
It's not use. YOU know what?
She's young and she's naive,
and she's only going to see what she wants to see.
Well, you know what? You know what she's going to see tomorrow night?
Anderson Whitmire at his absolute worst.
Yeah.
Bye!
Livvy, are you decent?
Livvy, what are you doing?
This is what plastic surgeons are for.
Shut up! I can't look like myself.
I'm ruining Anderson's date with the girl he's with tonight!
Have you completely forgotten about our meeting with Lila Croft today?
You know, the ridiculously rich lady
whose New Year's Eve rooftop party we're throwing in two weeks
- Oh, shoot. - Yeah.
Can you do it without me?
Livvy! This is Beal Events, Inc, not Tyler's Entertainments.
I can't always do this without you.
Are you kidding?
She's rich. She'll love you.
Listen, Anderson is taking Megan for hot cocoa and ice-skating,
and as someone who has been on that date, it's a good one.
Livvy, don't you think you're taking this a little bit too far?
I mean, you could be out trying to meet new guys instead.
How about we go meet with Lila
and then go out for some drinks and boys?
Tyler, you know my portfolio better than I do.
Okay? And you want your own Tyler Enterprises, right?
This is really good for you.
Okay? You'll be fine.
Okay?
You'll be fine.
Wish me luck!
Okay, I'm going to go get the tickets.
You guys hurry up and meet me there.
- Got it? - [both] Mm-hm.
Thanks!
What? Why do I get the granny wig?
Do you really want me to answer that?
You guys were incredible!
Livvy!
Wow! Blond is... very becoming of you.
Kids are very becoming... Wait, you have kids?
No, this is my niece and nephew.
Bryce and Bailey. This is my good friend Livvy. Say hi.
- Hi. - Hi!
- Did you guys have fun? - Yes.
Your hair is wrong.
- It's a wig. - Your wig's wrong.
Kid's say the darndest things.
[Carter] Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, I have to go because I have this tradition thing...
Oh, okay.
Well... I'll see you around?
- Okay. - Okay
Bye! Nice to meet you.
Uncle Carter, your friend's weird.
Really? I think she's kind of cute?
Anderson has her so convinced he's Mr. Perfection
that it is time to watch him crash and burn.
What are you going to do?
I used to do a little figure skating when I was younger.
It's called the sweet stick.
You use it to sharpen your blades at home,
but if you sharpen them improperly...
Kersplat?
Yes!
The only question is how are we going to switch this out
with one of his blades without him seeing us?
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said,
"When skating on thin ice, our safety is in our speed."
Once second, it's kersplat, the next, it is Emerson.
Is anybody else as baffled as I am?
Yes.
Good.
You look good in those pants, actually.
- Thank you. - Are those leather?
These are my skating pants.
- Ah, okay. - So look out.
Oh, yeah! Here we go.
This better be good, Anderson.
- You ready? - I'm excited, yeah!
Let's see what you got.
[Megan laughs]
Been there.
Done that.
Bought the shirt and spilled hot cocoa all over it.
- Come on. - Ready?
[grunts, groans]
[Megan] Are you okay?
I think there's something seriously wrong with these skates.
Oh, sure, blame the skates.
Yeah! -[Megan] Are you okay? Anderson?
[groans]
I don't think it's the skates, but come on.
Slow.
Oh, my God. I don't think I can walk.
- Let's get you on some safe ice, huh? - Yeah, yeah.
Hey, ladies.
Hey.
You ready to shred some ice roller derby style?
Are you kidding? I was born on the ice.
Mm.
There they are.
Oh!
Oh, hey!
It's you.
You remember me?
Ho ho ho!
Oh! Hey!
You gotta stand still! It's Charity Santa. What's up?
[Megan] Oh, whoa.
Okay, yeah, you're really good.
[Beau] Thank you. You're not too bad yourself.
Thank you.
[Megan] Anderson, where are you going?
[Anderson] I'm going to get new skates.
Okay, let me... I got to...
Okay, I'm coming with you. Hold on.
What now? He's trading out skates?
[Murphy] And we just lost Mr. December.
This is what happens when you let a man do a woman's job.
Come on, girls. Let's get to the ice.
Guys, I'm not good at this.
All right, look. I have an idea. You just...
stay up there and just wait and watch. Okay?
- Here? - Yeah.
What are we going to do? Just...
[laughter]
[Megan and Zoe shout]
[Anderson shrieks]
[groans]
I'm sorry!
[giggles]
[Zoe] Oh, my gosh!
Are you all right?
Yeah, I just don't know about my pride, but, you know.
- You got it? - Now I know how a walnut feels.
Why don't we go to my place and relax?
That completely backfired!
He's gonna take her home and she's gonna nurse him,
and he's gonna do the fireside feel-up on her!
Not if I get there first.
Plan B is chilling in the back of my rental car.
What did you get?
Remember Anderson's intolerance?
- [gasps] - Yes!
[whispering] Zoe, watch for Anderson's car. Okay?
Okay. Okay, okay.
[whispering] That's good!
Okay. Good.
[gasp] Guys, they're coming!
Lock the door!
[whimpers]
Oh! Jeez!
- They're gonna see us! - No! Why? Why?
Go back! Go back!
- [Megan] Okay... - Yeah.
- [Anderson] I'm gonna go here. - Okay.
- [Anderson yelps] - I'm right behind you.
[mutters]
Oh! [coughs]
Hi!
- [Megan] Okay... Careful. - [Anderson groans]
[Megan] Almost there.
- [Anderson yelps] - [Megan] Slow, slow!
All right, there's got to be a huge bruise...
Wait! Hang on there. I got you.
- Yeah, okay. - Okay.
- Oh, yeah! - Okay, all right.
[Megan] You just lay there. I'm gonna make you a pack of ice. Okay?
Okay, yeah. Ooh, and how about some of that big kid eggnog?
You know, just to take the edge off the pain.
Ah.
[groans]
[muttering] I can do this.
I told you! He's going in for the fireside feel-up
and it's two dates too soon!
Two dates too soon?
But I got the fireside feel-up on our second date.
What?!
He brought you here when we were still together?
Whoa, Murph, your face is as red as your hair.
Shh! She's coming back!
- All right. Here you go. - Ooh, yes!
- Okay. Hold on. Be careful. - Okay.
- Lift up just a little. - Yeah. [groans]
Lift up.
- Okay, good? - Oh, yeah. Good. Yes, thank you.
- Cheers. - Now, you just lay there.
Cheers.
All right, yeah.
Mmm.
[relieved sigh]
- Yes... - Here, I got it.
- Okay. Now... - I got it.
Come on, come here. Come lay next to me.
[Megan clears throat]
That'll be...
Come on, get over here!
I'm sorry I ruined our big date tonight.
I'm such a pain in the butt.
[Megan and Anderson laugh]
No, it's okay. It's actually kind of nice to know you're not perfect at everything.
Mm. I still think I'm perfect at most things.
Mm.
Come here.
[gasps]
Look at him milking her like a dairy cow.
Until that sweet dairy cow
sends him straight to the restroom.
- [loud gurgling] - [Megan gasps]
What? Was that your stomach?
[loud gurgling]
What...? Be careful!
[Anderson] Give me a minute.
Hold on, let me...
[loud gurgling]
- Anderson, are you all right? - [groaning] Yeah?
Is there anything I can do?
[Anderson] No! I mean, I'm good, thank you!
- [Anderson farting] - Okay, I... Maybe I should go?
[Anderson] Yeah, you know, probably a good thing.
Just it's... My tailbone is really just hurting me a lot.
[Anderson yelping]
Yeah. Look, Anderson, I know what's really going on. Okay?
I have an allergy to shellfish and I get it.
So, there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
Do you want some acid reducers?
[gasping] That would be awesome. That would be great.
They are in the kitchen,
above the sink, on the right-hand side.
Thank you.
Okay. You do you, and I'll be right back.
Acid reducers?
Go. Go...
I think we need to forget this whole thing.
Everything we do is bringing them closer together!
Frankly, I'm tired of missing my cycling class
to watch the two of them paw all over each other.
[Zoe] Maybe she's right, Livvy.
It's starting to affect my performance at the park, too.
Princess almost cried in front of the kids today.
No! We've come way too far to quit now.
I mean, it's five days before the holiday office party at the country club.
That gives us way more than enough time
to case the joint and devise a foolproof plan, right?
Like what?
You guys think of everything and anything we can do to Anderson
to get us put on Santa's naughty list.
Leave the rest up to me. Got it?
Good.
Okay.
[rock instrumental of "Deck the Halls" playing]
Should I sit at this table?
'Cause I wouldn't want you to think I was...
hitting on you again or anything.
Yeah...
I'm sorry.
I was having a rough week.
I was kind of going through a breakup and...
Can we start again?
Sure.
Thanks.
Well, thank you for meeting me.
I think you can tell by my portfolio,
I'm really good at conceptualizing a theme.
Okay, look. I know you're a big hitter...
but I don't want any extravagance.
What I need for you to do is take our bland little clubhouse
and turn it into a cozy holiday retreat.
Just make it homey, like an old friend.
And this was Anderson's idea? Because somehow...
I find that hard to believe.
Actually, it was mine.
[clears throat] Between us, our firm has garnered
a reputation for being a bit... cold.
So I thought the German investor and his wife might enjoy some Christmas spirit.
So this year, I thought maybe we'd step it down a bit.
Ah... So like a cozy little Christmas at home.
Yeah. You think that's lame?
No, those are the best kind.
- So you'll still do it, then? - Yes!
Under two conditions.
One, you can't tell Anderson that you hired me.
It's been a while, so I want to keep it a little secret.
- Okay. - And number two.
Because I only have five days to get this ready,
I have to bring my two associates on board as well.
Yeah, sure, no problem.
Great! We'll just need the keys to the clubhouse
and a list of all arrivals.
Okay.
Carter? These are my associates.
It is nice to meet both of you,
So... do you ladies think you can accomplish all that in five days?
Oh, of course! We've practically already started.
Mm, you wouldn't believe what we're capable of.
Great.
[knocking]
Come in!
Ty brought Thai.
And I see someone's back in the Christmas spirits.
I think I am.
And I think it's going to be the merriest Christmas that ever was.
Good! I am so glad
you got that whole Rudolph's Reject thing out of your system
because we need to talk New Year's Eve!
I was thinking we can do an oyster bar with an open bar,
- and the bartenders can wear... - Tyler, that sounds wonderful.
Can we talk about that next week?
'Cause Zoe and Murphy are coming over
and we're gonna go for this country club Christmas thing
for Anderson's firm. It's...
Oh, so you got a new gig and you asked Crazy One and Two for help instead of me?
Well, not exactly.
See, I couldn't use you
because we're planning on destroying the entire weekend,
not making it pretty and perfect like you and I would!
Tyler, please, don't be mad!
Aren't you and the stalker sisters getting
a little out of control with this?
What is getting back at him going to resolve, Livvy?
It's not going to bring him back.
I don't want Anderson back.
But you don't want this new girl to have him, either?
I just don't want her to fall into the same trap as we did.
I mean, if we didn't step in, then she would be a goner.
I don't wanna leave her as bitter and jaded as we are.
Livvy, is it even about her?
Because last I checked,
you decide if you want to feel bitter or not.
And for the record? I liked the Livvy
who wanted things pretty and perfect much better.
[door slams]
[doorbell rings]
Uh-oh, someone's been naughty.
Do you remember how Anderson freaks and squeals
any time he hears a tiny moving object?
We named her Comet.
And Operation: Rudolph's Revenge just got realz, yo!
[Christmas song playing]
♪ On a cold December night ♪
♪ Feels so good to know that you'll soon be by my side ♪
♪ Life moves fast Gotta slow it down ♪
♪ Let's drink this moment in right here, right now ♪
♪ So raise a glass ♪
♪ Raise a glass ♪
♪ Celebrate today and give thanks to the past ♪
♪ So raise a glass Raise a glass ♪
♪ All right, give a little love share a little smile ♪
♪ Spread a little hope 'cause it's Christmas time ♪
♪ Raise a glass ♪
♪ The table's set ♪
♪ And we're all here ♪
♪ It's that season when you get that feeling ♪
♪ Of holiday cheer... ♪
[Livvy] Okay, I'm gonna start untying the tree
and then we can do some decorating and defiling!
♪ Life is better when you've got something good to share ♪
♪ So raise a glass Raise a glass ♪
♪ Celebrate today and give thanks... ♪
[Livvy, grunting] Okay, tree. Okay!
And you gotta go!
- Can I help with that? - [screams]
[Livvy] Okay.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.
Yeah, and watch me fall and eat tree.
You gotta admit, you're not the stealthiest person on the planet.
Oh, I have stealth like you've never seen before.
She says with... bark all in her hair.
Here, let me help you with this and you can get cleaned up.
- Thanks. - Yeah.
But Comet wants a kiss.
Will you put that rodent back where it belongs, please?
[Murphy] How do you expect Anderson to pee his pants...
Hi, guys! -...unless we are throwing him a Christmas party like no other?
Hi!
Carter came to help us. Isn't that nice?
How lovely! Thank you, Carter!
Yeah, sure, no problem. Do you guys need me to stay?
- Help with decorating? - No.
No, we're good. We got it covered.
We would love some help, thanks.
- Yes, that'd be nice. - Okay.
Okay.
I can't believe you!
Now he's definitely not going anywhere!
Sorry, but it's obvious, he likes him some Livvy!
- It's cute. - How is that obvious to you?
You can't even tell the difference between an evergreen and an oak!
I thought he said we could pick any tree we wanted!
Anyway, a true actor is a great observer.
Well, do you have any idea how hard it's gonna be
to set up Anderson's self-sabotage with him here the entire time?!
Maybe we can just plant my safari sounds CD in Anderson's car,
so it blares when he turns the engine on to leave.
If that doesn't send Megan screaming back into the city,
I don't know what will.
That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
I bet if you just hang around, that's gonna do the trick.
[Zoe shouts]
[crashing]
[panting]
[Livvy] Oh! Mind your head.
So what made you get into event planning, anyway?
Well, my mom had a theme for every holiday party growing up.
Each had its own special dinner menu,
and flower arrangements, so...
I guess I just became really good at it.
And how about your colleagues? How'd you guys meet? They seem fun.
They're great.
I met them on...
an event planning website thing.
What about you? Why software engineering?
Well, believe it or not,
I was a bit of a computer and gaming nerd
when I was growing up. Don't say anything.
And... I don't know, I guess it's just like what you said,
I just realized it was something I was good at.
That's good, 'cause you kind of suck at what you're doing.
We're supposed to be making bows, so...
- I knew that. - You did?
I did, and you know what? I bet I can make better bows than you can.
What's your wager?
- Do you cook? - [scoffs] Yeah!
- Delicious is my middle name. - I'll tell you what,
I'll take the bottom half, you take the top.
Whosever is better wins,
and if you win,
I'll cook you dinner. But when I win...
[scoffs]
You have to make a culinary Christmas masterpiece.
Deal.
- That one. - That one.
No!
What's for dinner?
[women whispering]
Do not let that rodent out again.
It's not a pet, it's a prop.
Livvy, this food is amazing!
She's right, Liv. It's all really delicious.
Actually, did you guys know
that Livvy's middle name is Delicious?
What? You never told us that!
[Zoe] Who gave you that middle name?
My exes. All of 'em.
- It's uncanny. - [Carter] That was nice of them.
You must have dated some really great guys.
Great guys with great words and zero follow-through.
Men: worst investment risk there is.
Puppies are a much safer bet.
Wow. Is this the Broken Hearts Club?
[Livvy] If it is, it's a big one.
Because all of us have been through the same experiences.
We've all been lied to or cheated on...
Yeah, but surely you recognize there are some good guys out there still?
What happened to your ex-girlfriend?
Well... It ended.
And she just really wanted to get married, and...
I knew that deep down, we weren't really in love each other, so...
So you dumped her?
Yeah. I didn't lie or cheat on her.
Right, but you didn't commit either.
I mean, what's so wrong with committing to a woman
who knows what she wants out of her life?
No. See, that's the thing. She didn't know what she wanted when it came to us.
All she knew that she wanted was a ring on her finger and a couple of kids someday.
It didn't matter if I was the right guy or not.
Half the time it felt like we barely even knew each other.
We weren't even friends.
Maybe she wanted to be more than just your lady friend. You ever think of that?
Or an independent woman who can't speak her mind without judgement.
Or seen as nothing more than banging legs
and perfect teeth and big brains.
Or maybe it's just that you girls are chasing this image
of an unattainable guy that you think you want,
and then when you finally catch him, you realize,
he's not half the guy you spent all this time cracking him up to be.
Maybe it's not the problem that all guys are alike.
Maybe it's just that you girls aren't very good at picking them.
[scoffs]
Wow, is that the same lame excuse
you're gonna give that gift basket girl
when you're ready to call it quits with her?
Hmm!
Wow... If by gift basket girl you mean my mom? Then...
I would say no. It's probably pretty hard to call it quits on her.
Your mother is the one that you thought gave you that gift basket?
Yeah. I mean, she denied it,
but when I was a kid, she used to always joke
and say if I was naughty, I wasn't going to get any presents,
so, I just thought it was like a secret gag gift from her.
Wait. Who did you think gave me the gift basket?
Some girl you were seeing?
Ah...
Well, if that were the case, I guess...
I could see how that would make me appear, but...
I'm not that guy.
Apparently not, and I'm sorry.
It's okay. We all...
misjudge a little bit sometimes.
Hey, why don't we pop on down to that little dive bar we passed on the way in?
What? Eww! Why?
You know, so we could spread our Christmas cheer.
Oh, right.
Yes! Yes, we should do that.
Whose going to help me with the tree?
I could stay.
Come on. You know you could use my help.
Okay.
Bye.
- Have you ever decorated a tree? - Of course!
So, if it is honky-tonk, Middle America in there,
we pass out invites.
But if it's a skid row and serial killers,
then we are out of there. Got it?
Yeah.
But wait. What is middle America?
The Party Princess 52 weekends out of the year.
- Go. - Oh.
- [door opens] - [patrons chattering]
[gasps]
- [door closes] - Zoe... Zoe!
What are you doing?!
Passing out invites to the Middle Americans.
No, no, Zoe. These people are not safe.
- They have scabies or rabies... - [baby cries]
- Babies! - No, not babies.
How cute. I love your babies!
You wanna hold one of them?
This one's Sadie, and the gassy one here is Rosie.
Careful, that one's full of soda pop.
Aw!
You should come to our Christmas Eve party tomorrow night.
It's just down the road, and it's gonna be a blast.
Invite all of your friends.
No, no, no! Zoe, no!
Please, put the baby back! We have to go. Okay?
[Murphy] Yeah, this is not safe.
[country music playing]
Oh my God, I love this song.
♪ Oh, They don't know ♪
♪ Boy, it's tough to be a girl ♪
♪ High-heel shoes and miniskirts ♪
♪ Takes at least an hour to do our hair ♪
[applause]
[Carter] Here is my famous hot cocoa.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
So what do you do in your free time?
Other than take your mom out for dinner dates.
- No, no judgement! - Ha-ha.
Well, I'm a nighttime regular
- at the Rockin' Rotisserie. - Oh.
And I am a sucker for primetime crime dramas.
With "Her Convicted Criminals" being the best one.
What? No!
- "Vegas In Cuffs" is way better. - No way!
- [Carter] Yes. Here. - Thanks.
And on the weekends, a couple of my buddies and I
play in a softball league.
No way! I love softball.
- You play? - No...
Not since junior high. My mom made me quit.
She said,
"You can't bust out your pearly whites.
- "Who would wanna marry you then?" - Huh.
So what do you do in your free time?
- When I'm not working... - Mm-hm.
I'm a One Stop Salad Shop kind of gal.
And on the weekends?
If I'm not doing an event, I would...
always do whatever my ex wanted us to do.
- He never asked you what you wanted to do? - No. He always had a plan.
And my mom always used to say,
"A handsome man with a plan does a good hubby make."
Yeah...
It's interesting.
- There you go. - Thank you.
Well, you know what I think?
I think... you listen to your mom too much.
I mean, I had no idea
what I wanted to do after college and look at me.
I mean, some might even say that I am hubby material.
I don't know. I haven't tried the cocoa.
Mm-hm.
Mm! [coughs]
That is terrible! It's the worst cocoa ever!
See now? Who wouldn't want to marry the man that made that hot cocoa?
Between the banister and this, it's a wonder you're still single.
Well, the banister thing was a complete fluke.
I have no idea how that turned out so well.
Sure.
Actually, you've got just a little bit right there.
And about the dinner... I'm sorry.
No, I...
You were right on the mark.
I... haven't always made the best decisions
when it comes to men.
Or maybe it's just...
hard to know what you're looking for until you've found it.
♪ Boy, it's tough to be a girl ♪
♪ High-heel shoes and miniskirts ♪
Oh! Did we interrupt something?
- No! - Uh-uh.
You should try this cocoa.
- It's freaking amazing. - There's more in the kitchen.
Hmm. It is the holidays.
Where do I sign on for those calories?
[jungle animals cries]
Pretty scary, huh?
Still thinking it's such a stupid idea?
What? I think it was a stupid idea to wake me up like that.
[Zoe] My, my, Vixen.
What reindeer doodied on your Christmas Eve parade this morning?
[giggles]
You doodied!
[Livvy humming]
[music playing softly]
♪ Baby, when I'm feeling lonely ♪
♪ Baby, when I'm feeling blue ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ I never know if I'm gonna make it through the day ♪
♪ And you walk through the front door ♪
♪ Then I look at you ♪
♪ Baby, kiss me underneath the mistletoe ♪
♪ Oh yeah, baby ♪
♪ That's how I know ♪ - Hi.
- [screams] - Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh. Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm okay.
[screaming]
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
I'm sorry. You okay?
- Yeah. - Okay.
Wow!
It's good.
It tastes better when it's cooked, so...
You have a little...
- Can I get it? In your hair. - Yeah.
So was this...
another one of your stealthy moves that I've never seen before?
About as stealthy as that subject change was.
- Right then. Smooth. - Yeah.
- I guess we probably should get... - Yeah!
Cleaned up and have changed before everybody arrives.
Oh, yeah. Thank you so much.
Okay, I got it.
Carter, I...
have something to tell you about Anderson.
- Okay. - I...
Wow! This place looks amazing.
Anderson, you remember Livvy, right?
Livvy?
What are you doing here?
And why are you two caked in vomit?
We had a little... breakfast incident.
I hired Ms Beal
to help decorate the place for us this weekend, so...
Oh! Wow. That's a wonderful surprise.
- Okay, let's get a drink. - Yeah!
Hi. Nice to meet you.
[Megan] So... how do you know Ms. Beal?
Livvy? Is... was... She was last year's party planner,
for the holiday event, at the firm.
And you hired her?
Mm-hm.
I ran into her in the office the other day.
She's really pretty.
Oh...
I'm sensing a little jealousy.
Come here. You have nothing to worry about.
[Anderson squeals]
What's wrong?!
There was a...
No, we're...
It's a...
We're good. Yeah.
I'm fine.
[chattering]
- Beautifully decorated. - Yeah. Thank you.
Hey, Carter. I have to use the restroom for a minute.
Do you mind showing them the pool and the koi pond?
Yeah, sure.
- Hello. - Hi.
What is this?
We have cranberry meatballs,
and bean and olive tartines.
No, I mean, what are you doing here?
And my assistant said you were at my office this week, is that true?
I came by to drop off your spare key,
and I ran into Carter at your old office,
and he offered me a job.
What's the big deal?
The big deal is that we broke up and...
I'm not so sure this is entirely appropriate
that you even took this job.
Well, I don't think it's entirely appropriate
you sharing a room with your assistant,
especially one that you told me wasn't that attractive...
Livvy, look at me.
I swear to you, when I hired Megan,
I had no intention of ever being with her.
Okay?
And it was after you and I broke up
that I even asked her out anyway.
I am so sure, Anderson.
But you know what? Whatever you do in your life
is your business.
I'm just here to serve hard apple cider and...
set the mood!
You sure this isn't some sort of deep-seated,
desperate attempt to get me back?
We know what a deep-seated attempt would mean,
that I would actually have to have feelings for you
in the first place.
Right. Yes.
I mean, you did want to marry me like, what, a month ago?
I'm over it, Anderson.
Why would I be here if I wasn't?
You weren't planning on telling Megan about our past?
I've been working with Carter for two weeks
and I haven't told him, so... why would I tell Megan?
Good. Good.
So just... make sure and...
drop off that spare key to my house
when you're all finished up here and heading out.
[inhales]
Hmm!
Wow. You look...
insanely beautiful.
Thank you.
Um. So after tonight, I would...
really like to see you again.
Would it be too presumptuous of me to ask
if you have any New Year's Eve plans as of yet?
So I'm doing a rooftop party at Old Garth Manor on Second.
Right, of course.
But...
Would you like to come?
I would love to.
- Okay. - Oh, okay.
I am going to go and let you finish getting... foxy!
I actually have something to tell you
about Anderson before...
Okay, look, if you're going to tell me
that you had a thing for him before...
you don't have to, 'cause I already know and...
it's fine.
How do you know that?
Well, I saw the way you sized-up Megan that day that we met and...
I also saw you sneaking into that gift basket to see who it was from
when you thought it was from one of his girls, so...
- Well, actually, what I was... - You know, Livvy,
I don't care that you had a thing for Anderson.
Most women do.
And not to knock my boss, but from everything I've heard,
he's taken advantage of a lot of women.
And... I'm just glad that you're not one of those girls.
Hi.
Why are you sneaking in from the balcony?
Oh... that's a...
good question.
Yeah, well, we didn't want to come in
through the front door, under the mistletoe
because then we would have to, like, kiss,
and that would be like, whoa. Eww.
Okay... I am going to go now.
So...
I see someone has fallen head over heels this holiday retreat,
and it surely wasn't for a Whitmire!
Livvy! Have you even taken care of any of your duties all day
while we've been gone,
or are you just sucking face with Santa the whole time?
Did you rig the bathtub?
Did you plug the chimney?
Excuse me?
I have been too busy cooking all day to do any of that.
Okay. Well, have you even thought about what you're going to tell Carter
when 50 strangers show up banging on that wreath?
Okay, if you guys just stay scarce,
Anderson's not going to know we're involved in any of this.
And if he does, it's his word against mine. Okay?
Oh, okay. So you just want us to stay scarce,
so that you can take all the glory?
I think what she's saying is she wants us to do it
so that she can be with Carter and...
if that makes Livvy happy,
then I'm on board whole-heartedly.
Okay. We'll do that.
We'll just stay quiet and we'll stay out of sight.
Thank you.
Who wants my secret recipe sangria?
Ooh, me!
Bernd!
I think I got a little something stiffer
in the liquor cabinet for you.
- Yeah? - O'Dwyer's single malt.
42 years. Twenty-two grand a bottle!
- Please. - Yeah.
[mouthing words]
Hi.
Jeez, for a 12-pound poodle, you are seriously deadweight.
Get... Get off.
[Anderson clears throat]
Anyone seen my O'Dwyers? 'Cause it was here this morning.
Here, get rid of this.
[cork pops]
What are you doing?
You said to get rid of it.
I didn't mean like that. I meant...
It's the holiday.
Hey, Livvy, are the girls gonna be joining us?
- What girls? - Oh, Livvy's assistants.
Uh... Excuse me. Olivia Beal has female assistants?
- Where's Ty? - Ty? Who's Ty?
- He's... - [doorbell rings]
The door... bell.
- Is... I'm gonna go. - [doorbell rings]
Were we expecting anyone else?
Uh...
- Oh! - [all] Merry Christmas!
[cheering]
Is this Mr. Whitmire's tacky sweater party?
- Suppose it is. Come in. - Nice.
Uh... Hi. And... Who invited all of you...
- guys here? - Do you know Mr. Whitmire?
- I... am Mr. Whitmire. - Then you did.
That's funny, 'cause I...
- Hey! - That's assault.
[Megan] Come on in. Hi.
Whoa! That's a shiny and a lot of metal and...
Sunglasses at night.
Okay.
- Hi! - You're good.
Ooh. Hi.
[nervous laughter]
I'm real sorry about this. I'm not real sure what's going on here,
but I'm gonna throw these people out, right now.
- Anderson! It's the holidays. - What?
You can't just throw all these people out?
What if they have nowhere else to go?
Megan. This is not part of the plan.
Why do you always have to follow a silly little rigid plan anyways?
I mean, really. What's the big deal?
Yeah! Why can't they just... stay?
- Livvy did make plenty of food. - Yeah.
I did make a lot of food.
Livvy!
You're right. I mean, what's the big deal, you know.
- The more the merrier. - It's party time.
- [Anderson] It's party... - Party, party, party.
Party, party, party.
Hey, did you invite all these people?
Oh, yeah. I'm really sorry.
No. What are you apologizing for?
I mean, it's a risky move, but...
investors are having a great time.
Oh. Okay. You go entertain them. I'll be right there.
- Okay. - Okay.
Is that holiday sangria realness you're serving up, Lady Beal?
What are you guys doing here? They're gonna recognize you.
Amongst all of these characters? I don't think so.
Come one, Cupid. Let's ride.
[piano music playing jazzy Christmas music]
Here you go.
Hey, Livvy. Can I talk to you for a minute?
Yes.
I'm sorry. I know you're working and everything. I just...
wanted to ask... I probably shouldn't.
No, it's okay. Ask away.
Well, I wanted to ask, um... Have you known Anderson very long?
Well, I... did the last holiday party,
so I've known him a little bit, yeah.
Okay. So then, you know, from a girl to a girl...
I know you don't know him very well,
but we've been seeing each other for a month now,
and he's so wonderful, it seems like it's too good to be true.
So, do you think he's a nice guy?
When I'm dating a guy that I think is "too good to be true,"
I go on this website called "rateyourex.com,"
and it is all these girls talking about their exes.
It's... You should check it out.
Oh! I've never heard of it. Is it for older women?
- No. It's for everyone! - Great!
But I still would kind of like a person's real life opinion.
So, what do you think of him?
That's it! Who drank my O'Dwyers?
[whispers] What?
[Zoe] Tyler!
[Tyler] Hi.
- Hi. What are you doing here? - Zoe invited me.
What? You said to invite anyone I know who likes to get crazy.
It's a nice tacky sweater, by the way.
I didn't know it was a tacky sweater party.
[Tyler] What is all of this?
Have you completely gone chestnuts?
Anderson might be a little angry,
but I haven't cost him his job, Ty.
We just wanna make sure he doesn't unwrap this poor little girl
before Christmas Eve. Okay?
I mean, he should be thanking me. The investors love it.
What about you? Looking like a desperate, crazy person?
Because I completely don't know who you are anymore.
If you came here to lecture me like my mother, Ty,
you can leave, okay?
We're just having a little bit of fun.
When did you become such a... sourpuss?
When did you become such a sour apple?
I'm sorry. Is everything okay here?
Yes, yes. This...
is Ty...
Tyler. Tyler.
Your old assistant?
- Old assistant? - He didn't mean that.
Zoe and Murphy aren't my real assistants.
- Mm-hm. - Tyler is!
Rudolph! It's time for singing.
[Tyler] I'll be leaving now.
Looks like you're wanted on stage anyway.
Merry Xmas, Livvy.
- [Zoe] Come, come. - [stammers]
- Just one minute. - Okay.
♪ Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom ♪
♪ Santa made a promise like he thought he could keep one ♪
♪ Santa, baby, this is not the story you thought you knew ♪
♪ 'Cause this little missus has a little surprise for you ♪
♪ You've been bad, bad, bad to some good, good, good gals ♪
♪ Made us mad, mad, mad if you couldn't tell ♪
♪ You've been real, real busy breaking hearts for Christmas ♪
♪ And now you're on my naughty list ♪
♪ It's a stormy Christmas The wind is gonna blow ♪
♪ Chill you to the bone ♪
♪ Leave you all alone ♪
♪ It'll be okay ♪
♪ The blues are here to stay ♪
♪ You can make 'em go away ♪
♪ But first you're gonna pay ♪
♪ Hmm! ♪
♪ It's gonna be a stormy Christmas ♪
♪ For ♪
♪ You ♪
[crowd cheering]
Yeah! Right on! Right on!
That song was dedicated to all the jerks who done us ladies wrong!
What is this? What's going on here?
- It's payback. - For doing us wrong.
Anderson, what is going on here?
These are all my crazy ex-girlfriends.
That's what's going on here.
[scoffs]
The Charity Santa.
That was you, right? And then the broken skates.
And the O'Dwyers that I smell on your breath.
And the eggnog.
It was you. Wasn't it?
Oh, you bet your sweet little butt it was.
[Zoe] This is what happens
when you cheat on nice girls with other nice girls
who become friends to seek revenge.
Anderson, is that true?
- Megan, these girls are crazy! - Is it true?
Livvy and I were over by the time you and I started dating.
And what does it matter when it ended?
It matters.
'Cause men like you give men like us a bad name.
[gasping]
That was for you too.
[whispering] Thank you.
Guys.
Hi.
Can you talk?
Your check's on the dresser.
I'll have a crew sent over after the holidays to...
clean the place up.
I'm sorry...
that I didn't tell you the truth about Anderson.
I mean, I tried to, but...
Was that before or after you tricked me into hiring you?
Did it ever occur to you that I could lose my job over this?
No.
Not at first, but eventually.
I mean, that's why I tried to keep the girls out of sight.
And then when I realized what I got myself into, it was too late.
Hmm.
When you said that Anderson had taken advantage of all these girls,
I didn't want you to think I was one of them.
You were the first guy...
who hasn't treated me that way.
That's exactly how you treated me, Livvy.
You played me like a fool.
You even had me believing that this stupid holiday romance was the real thing.
Everything I felt for you, Carter, here...
it was all real.
I didn't expect to fall for you during all of this.
We just wanted to get back at Anderson for making a fool out of us
and show him he couldn't keep doing this to every girl.
I didn't... mean to make a fool out of you.
Do you know what it feels like to be...
lied to and cheated on over and over again?
No.
No, you wouldn't.
That is... That is such crap.
Livvy...
Anderson didn't make a fool out of you.
You girls, you did that just fine on your own.
I mean, I understand that it hurts to have your heart broken.
I've had that before.
Okay, but I what I don't understand
is why you would continue to let someone who's hurt you have so much power over you.
Anderson doesn't have any power over me. Not anymore.
No, Livvy...
Anderson has had all the power over you
on every decision that you've made since the day you met him.
And even now, after he cheated on you
and left you, he still has all the control.
Don't you see that?
No. You wouldn't. Would you?
[sniffs]
[Murphy] It feels good, doesn't it?
Finally socking it to Anderson the way we always dreamed?
You know, in a way.
But in a way, it doesn't really change much either.
What are you talking about?
I don't know about you, but I'm never going to forget
that look on his face when he found out.
That was classic!
[sighs] I don't know. Maybe Carter's right.
Maybe we're not very good at picking good men.
So, what? We should date down?
- Ew. - No.
No. We should date... up.
You know, like raise our standards.
How? In a world where there aren't any.
Maybe that's the problem. Maybe if we...
stopped settling for less and start expecting more...
others would follow suit.
You think?
You're really smart.
I know.
You learn a lot eavesdropping on third-graders while they eat pizza.
[laughter]
So, Murphy and Zoe told me where you found them.
I checked out all my fans on "rateyourex.com."
Wow.
I wanna sue you all for libel and slander.
But I won't.
'Cause I deserved it.
You know, I know that there's not much I can say at this point...
but I do want you to know...
I'm really sorry for hurting you.
It's not you.
It's me.
When things in my life get too serious,
for whatever reason...
I shut down.
Well, I don't think it's entirely your fault.
I think we all put you on some pedestal
that... you didn't really belong on.
You know, the funny thing is Megan didn't.
I think that's what I really liked about her.
Not to say that you don't have your own amazing traits.
I mean, not only are you one of the most...
beautifully kind and quietly generous people that I have ever met...
But look at all this. I mean.
You are one heck of a party planner, my friend.
Even if it was just to... decimate a guy that...
a guy that you once hoped to marry.
A guy that didn't deserve you in the first place.
So if you end up with old Carter...
I think you'll find it gets better.
Well, I don't know if that's gonna happen
because I really screwed that one up.
You're not gonna fire him, are you?
No.
Of course not.
I am gonna have a little chat with him
about letting wily women affect his work performance though,
because apparently I wrote the book on it.
Will you please forgive me?
Well, it's Christmas, Anderson.
What kind of person would I be if I didn't? Mmm?
- Thank you. - Yeah.
[sighs]
Did you lose your investors?
Aaah, yup. Yeah. I think so.
I tried giving them my two tickets to the "Nutcracker, but..."
- "No danke!" - I'm so sorry.
Oh. Whatever. Admit it.
You, you enjoyed watching Megan dump me just a little bit.
Yeah, I enjoyed the heck out of it, but you know what?
You deserve to be better for yourself next time too.
Deal?
Deal.
- [Anderson laughing] - Last one.
- Okay. - Yeah, just last time.
[Anderson] Yeah, right, Lefty.
Livvy, honey. You know when you're depressed,
that dessert counter only compounds your problems, right?
I'm not depressed, Mom. I'm just eating pie.
Honey, it's obvious you're still hurting over Anderson.
And this pie is not gonna help get him back.
So, why don't you
give him a call and wish him Merry Christmas!
Maybe he's thinking about you too today.
Anderson was...
everything that I thought I wanted,
just nothing that I needed.
What?
A friend.
And... just because I...
have a guy I can have fun with
or some girlfriends to sing karaoke, it does not mean
that I will ever stop needing you.
I will always need...
shopping on Sundays
and homemade pumpkin pie.
And maybe if Dad's not looking, then...
we can sneak out and sing some karaoke together.
Well, I was with the women's chorus when I was in college.
- I know, I heard! - Hey, hey, hey.
Honey, you know I just want you to have a good life, right?
I know.
So, whatever makes you happy,
I'm happy for you.
- I love you, sweetie. - And I love you.
I feel like if I had like one last slice of pie, I'd be done.
No more pie. And... No. Out of sight, out of mind. Go.
♪ And I ♪
♪ Remember it all too well ♪
♪ I close my eyes ♪
♪ And I can touch, taste, smell ♪
♪ And I am there... ♪
- Hi. - Hi.
I got you something.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- Hug? - Hug.
- I missed you. - I missed you.
- Okay, is that still... - Yes!
- It is? - Yes!
- I didn't think it was open. - It's open.
- You can leave it right there. - [knocking on door]
[gasps]
Hey!
Hi. How are you?
Thank you!
- Good to see you. You look nice. - Thanks, darling.
♪ We laugh until our stomachs hurt ♪
♪ And I ♪
♪ I wouldn't want it any other way ♪
♪ These December days ♪
Hey. This just came for you.
Thanks, Kay.
That from anyone special?
I don't know. What is special?
I mean, what constitutes as special for one man could constitute as a...
complete waste of time for another. So...
Ouch.
Hey, I can take that.
'Cause you're right.
Somehow I treated Livvy like a...
complete waste of time.
Well, look. From one guy who lived to regret it...
Don't you make that same mistake I did.
- [lively chatter] - [jazzy music playing]
You two have done an outstanding job.
Thank you.
I'm not sure I'll ever hire
that cranky old party planner again.
Credit actually goes to Ty
because he did the whole project from start to finish.
Ty... Have you met my son, Gregory?
- Nice to meet you. - Hi.
Do you wanna grab a drink?
Sure.
- Hi. Hi. - Hello.
Wow. It's nice to see young love still exists.
- I wanted to say thank you. - For what?
I realized I've never had true girlfriends before.
My mother always said: "Never trust a single girl around your man"
because she will always stab you in the back."
Wow! I think what she meant to say was that you
can trust a true girlfriend around your man...
'cause if he screws you over,
we'll stab him in the back for you first.
Yeah!
- Cheers! - Cheers!
To Santa's three favorite reindeer.
- Mm! - Cheers!
- I'll be back. - Oh yes.
I think they're gonna kiss.
- Hi. - Hi.
What are you doing here?
I came here to tell you two things.
One.
Please don't ever put almond milk in my cereal.
'Cause I am deathly allergic to almonds.
[Livvy] Yeah.
And... Two.
Spring sign-ups for my softball leagues start next week, so...
How about I sign us up?
I would love that.
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
- Come on. The countdown is starting. - Okay.
- Come on. - Hi. I'm coming.
[all] Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two, one!
[cheering]
So, you're the handsome, grounded young bachelor
that Tyler said I was destined to meet on New Year's Eve.
My question is...
Do you donate your entire Christmas bonus to...
the Red Cross every year?
- No. - No.
No, but I have been known to volunteer as a Charity Santa,
every couple of years if I'm able to.
Well, Mr. Bolton I am... very excited
to see your sexy Santa outfit.
Oh, well. Ho ho ho.
Still not funny.
Merry Christmas, Livvy.
Happy New Year.
♪ Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom ♪
♪ Santa made a promise like he thought he could keep one ♪
♪ Santa, baby, this is not the story you thought you knew ♪
♪ 'Cause this little missus has a little surprise for you ♪
♪ You've been bad, bad, bad to some good, good gals ♪
♪ Made us mad, mad, mad, if you couldn't tell ♪
♪ You've been real, real busy breaking hearts for Christmas ♪
♪ So now you're on my naughty list ♪
♪ It's a stormy Christmas ♪
♪ The wind is gonna blow ♪
♪ Chill you to the bone ♪
♪ And leave you all alone ♪
♪ It'll be okay ♪
♪ The blues are here to stay ♪
♪ But you can make them go away ♪
♪ But first you're gonna pay ♪
♪ It's gonna be a stormy Christmas ♪
♪ For you ♪
♪ I thought we'd have a wedding but it ended with shotguns ♪
♪ Blew my heart to pieces Should've listened when they said run ♪
♪ You never thought it would come back around ♪
♪ I bet you never thought you'd be the talk of the town ♪
♪ You're not the only one who's got little helpers ♪
♪ To be kind of honest you're not even clever ♪
♪ Finally figured out ♪
♪ Karma never fails to show you what you're worth ♪
♪ It's a stormy Christmas ♪
♪ The wind is gonna blow ♪
♪ Chill you to the bone ♪
♪ Leave you all alone ♪
♪ It'll be okay ♪
♪ The blues are here to stay ♪
♪ But you can make them go away ♪
♪ But first you're gonna pay ♪
♪ It's gonna be a stormy Christmas ♪
♪ For you ♪
♪ All my life ♪
♪ I believed in certain fairy tales ♪
♪ Some things you just don't outgrow ♪
♪ Finding my king ♪
♪ No, I'm not letting go of those dreams ♪
♪ My life can be free... ♪