Okay, women and men, Walkabout Creek Hotel.
Last chance for coldie before we hit inland.
G'day, all I'm your hostess
You can call me Ruby or love or anything, but it's never too late for breakfast.
[laughs]
And what is your pleasure, friend?
Gin and tonic, please, and Pims for that woman.
"G" and "T" and Pims.
No, I request gin and tonic and Pims.
Yeah, well, there's no harm in asking.
A few beers will be fine
That's the ticket, old friend.
- Hey, Nugget - G'day, Sue.
- Where is Mick? - We got a panic call from Rangers.
They saw a giant crocodile in the Tarrabool swimming pool.
Actually, we throw a coin to see who will catch it, and Mick wins.
- He pursued himself, right? - Not.
Jacko Jackson will go meet him out there
And Jacko, as you know, is the second the best crocodile man in the region.
So you don't worry, love.
My only concern is that I need Mick to choose Mikey after school.
I'll tell Mick for you If he is tied to that crocodile,
- I will take the young friend myself. - thank you
I think you are the second best crocodile hunter.
- Alright. - Oh, he's just simple.
She's one of the best, do you know?
Hey, Sue. If something happens for Mick, I will come to court '.
All right, let's hope Nothing happened to Mick.
Where are you now, Are you a big ugly bugger?
This is good as it gets.
Come on. Come to Uncle Mick.
Great...
big...
big mistake.
Oh, shit.
[Sighs]
- G'day, Mick - G'day, Jacko.
What are you doing there?
Just sit here, thinking about a new career, friend.
Where is your ship
Below.
- How did that happen? - Croc pulls it down.
Interestingly below?
How big is that?
That's big
What now?
Now, we are scrambling ashore and going to the "B." plan
Don't move
Well, it could be worse, friend.
Oh yeah? How is that, Mick?
Alright, someone can see us here,
ride the tree, strangely with a bloody crocodile.
- [Chattering] - [moans]
[Chattering Continues]
[Woman] So help me God, if I see a snake, I will die.
How will they catch a crocodile up there in a tree?
So, where is the second best crocodile hunter on the ground?
[Everyone laughs]
Okay, everybody, we're on A tight schedule here.
We better keep moving. Don't want to disturb hunters.
Back to the bus, please, friend
That's how it is.
Nugget that is bleeding. Good, uh, friend?
Two of the best crocodile in all of the northern region, huh?
Yes.
We look like couples The actual pelikan, isn't that right?
[Both Laughs]
Do you know what I hate about crocodiles? They have legs. Come on.
Oh, remember the good old days when we used to shoot them?
Yes, friend, but if there's no more crocs, they don't need hunters.
Oh, they need hunters... to keep wild boar under control.
Pig? Oh, not the same.
I don't want my child to say, "There is my father, Dundee Pig."
Do you want to know like Porker Jackson?
Well, no.
Now, we need Crocs, friend. They make us somebodies.
Without them, we are just a few old bushwhackers...
with bite marks on our feet.
We will bring it tomorrow. The same time.
Hey, I know a pig farmer called Porker O'Brien once. Hah!
Do you know why they call him Porker?
I hate it when he does it.
Give me horror.
- Thank you, friend - Don't worry.
So, you come out of that tree alright, eh
Now, how can you know about that already
My people have a way to talk no white people can understand.
Arthur, you're really bullshit.
No, this is kind of telepathic mentally, eh?
- Yeah, mentally, alright. - [Cell Phone Ringing]
Ah, I think we just found out one of which is white people.
Yes?
Yes, I heard about that.
[laughs] Yeah, well, he is standing next to me now.
- Oh good. - Yes alright. Yes, later.
- So, did you do the show tonight? - Yeah.
Already matinee. Must make tourists happy, huh?
Oh, well, buddy, lately they are our bread and butter.
That's what we are now 20th century - a tourist spot.
As they say, That's a business show, friend.
By the way, Mick,
This is the 21st century, friend.
Oh, yeah, II know that.
- See you later, Art. - See you again.
- Look yes, Troy. - Look, Mikey.
- Want to go fishing? - Yeah.
- So what did you learn today? - Oh, only school stuff
But we have earthquake videos,
and we learned how that happened in California, America
- Did you see it when you were there? - No, I'm in New York.
They don't have an earthquake there
People there will not stand it. They will be like,
[Mimicking the New York Accent] "Earthquake? Hey, this is Brooklyn.
Get out of here. Forget it. "
They are tough.
Whoa, home work time. What is that?
- This is goanna turd - That means she's close. Find him.
- That's it. - Yap.
- Are you hungry? Want him to have dinner? - Yuck, it's impossible
- Then you better miss - Father, I never miss [Gulping]
Whoa.
Hurry up, Dad, there's a big razor up there. Can you do it?
- What do you do? - You know, that trick. Please.
All right, but it won't work if you are afraid He will smell it.
I know. I will not be afraid. I promise.
Don't look at him until I do
I really won't be afraid if I can bring your knife
[Imitates Growling] Cool.
[laughs]
Alright, Daddy, I'll talk about it with Mick Uh huh.
No. No, and if we decide we must get married,
I promise I'll be the first to know.
Do you want to say hello? for your grandson Good. Wait a minute.
Hey, Mikey. Come on, say hi to Grandpa.
Hi, Grandpa
Pretty good, huh.
- [Sighs] - So what's new?
Oh, Tom Zetland - he ran L. L. bureau from Dad's paper -
just been killed in a car accident
- What, is he your partner? - Actually no.
But the thing is, Mick, Dad now pleaded with me to take his place...
while he looks for permanent replacement
What you say is what you want You will work for him in Los Angeles.
Mm
For how long?
Alright, I told him that I might contents for several weeks.
Well, tell me this, if we live there in the city,
- Will you take the job? - Oh, sure
I mean, I grew up by a journalist,
and, well, I don't know, I think that only goes into your blood
It resolved it at that time. Take a job
At least for the rest of this year. Mikey and I will go with you.
- Are you kidding me? - Not good for him Help him decide
Decide?
- Your father has a newspaper right? - Mm-hmm.
You are his only child One day Mikey must decide.
Does he want to be an assistant? Crocodile wrangler...
or the owner from a big city newspaper?
That's difficult. And the trip will be good for him.
Remember how my trip to New York...
sort of opened my eyes to the way of the world?
Make me even more - What did he say?
- sophisticated - Yeah.
By the way, Mick, what's wrong? Do you do that terrible trap?
You won't use it for some poor animals?
No, I loaned it to Donk.
Some dogs are sneaking into the pub at night...
and knock on the frog.
[Chuckles] Stealing beer, yeah,
- I think they deserve to be destroyed. - Yeah.
Now, how about you, Mikey? What do you think?
How do you want to live? in California for a while?
- They have an earthquake there right? - Yeah, yes, they have.
cool.
I think you might say that. You will have fun.
Actually, you're the one I'm worried about.
No, I'm fine.
Um, Mick, I seem to remember after a few weeks in New York...
You are really very nervous Yes, a little nervous.
Um, that's what I like about you, Mick. You are always unselfish
Don't worry.
# Yeah #
# Yeah Dance, dance, dance, dance #
## [Women Voice, Unclear]
[Mick] Beverly Hills, eh? Home to movie stars.
Many of them, yes.
You are not in the show business, what is it? - No, I'm in a tourism game myself. - Hey, so am I.
When I drive this. Actually, I'm a writer-actor.
It's just that, you know, driving a limousine between shows Make lots of connections.
Is Tom Arnold in the car this morning.
Tom Arnold
Oh, maybe the wife knows who she is. He-he is in the newspaper business.
- A reporter. - Yeah.
Here, take one of them. You never know.
Thank you.
This is it.
That's-that's good.
No, you can save it. I have many copies.
Crocodile!
[Sue] Okay, tax relief plan. Only state tax
There is no interest there. Traffic accident.
Okay, these numbers compare L. A. For New York drivers, that's good.
Follow that.
Large. So our policy hasn't changed?
- How? - This is what Pak Zetland usually says,
[Imitating Mr. Zetland] "We are New York paper.
Or words for that effect.
So he's not too happy about working at L. A., huh?
Oh, no, no. Tom is happy here No, he likes to expose features...
and investigate fraud and phonies.
- What is he working on? - He did this feature...
in this new mini studio.
He starts getting very happy with that
I think he kissed a mouse.
But what's the problem, only Tom knows.
Maybe you can find out what's triggered His interest is there. Good luck.
Oh, hey, how are your boys? Are they exploring?
Oh yeah. Must be fun too. For both of them.
- [Chattering] - [Man] Come on, guys!
Thank you. Oh, spontaneous applause, thank you
Thank you.
All right, a few tricks. Behind the back
Alright alright, alright, underfoot [Juggler Chattering]
- [Cracking Bones] - [Humans groaning]
[Continuous Juggler Chattering]
[Groaning continues]
Hey, Daddy, look. There are girls from Baywatch.
- What? - Baywatch
On TV, you know? Girls who walk funny, like this.
And Donk and all the men in the pub left, "Wow!"
- What have you done in the pub? - Whoa! Hey!
- I'm very sorry. Wow, muscle fatigue. - No problem.
- Are you okay? - Hey, do you know what time it is
Oh, around 12:30, maybe 12:35
[Chuckles] Oh, that's funny, but you wear a watch
- It's not a watch, it's a compass. - Oh!
Yes, I'm new to the city. I can't find my house without this.
Very? So where? Your house is from here
Eleven kilometers five miles, two degrees north northeast.
Called, uh, Beverly Hills.
Bev Hills? So, do you have a good home?
- Yeah, we got eight vortices. - Yeah, that's eight bathrooms.
- Oh good. This is your son? - Yeah, that's Mikey.
- So, are you married? - No, he is not married.
- So you have custody? - Yeah. Well, Mikey is my child.
- Right So you're a good parent? - Alright, I'll say it.
Right. Oh, this is too good Finally I met a funny cowboy.
He's more Robert Redford vintage than Brad Pitt, but it's okay...
Because he has a big house on Beverly Hills, plus he has custody of his child.
That means he will be a good father for my Cindy and this is -
Oh, there's a catch, right?
Nothing good ever happened to me Are you - you are not available? You - are you gay?
Um, most of the time, is quite happy.
[Chuckles] Of course.
Cute cowboys, Venice Beach, Must be gay.
What I think
- Boy, he is a chat box. - Yeah, friend American woman.
- He has a nice ass. - Yeah. Hey,
You have to stop hangin ' around the pub.
[Sighs] Who taught you that? Nugget?
- Find something suspicious? - Yeah. Listen this.
Silvergate pictures make them the first movie right? Lethal agent.
This is a total bomb.
So the next image they made is Lethal Agent II...
which of course runs straight to video where no one hires it.
And guess what they are doing now to save their reputation?
- Uh-- - Yeah.
I don't know Did Tom talk to these people?
Yes. I think he talked to everyone from the studio president down.
That's when he seems to be very excited about the story
What I can see here is a bunch of really stupid business decisions But of course, is not illegal
Well, you know, that's the research I did for him.
Whatever is being done Tom may be on P. C.
I can get a disk from his home, if you are interested in
That will be great.
And I see they have "meeting and greeting" for the press and industry community.
Do you know who will usually cover it up?
Fay Olson does entertainment.
Good. Tell him that he can have it night off, and I will fill
- Hey, Daddy, what kind of car is that? - I can't see now, friend.
These California people are nice and friendly and polite...
Until they get into their car, then they turn into crazy wombats.
Hurry up, Daddy, stop, there's a dog on the road
Where?
- So where is the dog? - He entered there.
I'll catch it
Be careful.
All right, everyone, keep coming back. Don't worry, we will catch it.
I joined.
- What happened up there? - Come on, buddy!
That person said there was something on the road
He looks like a nut to me.
- Maybe a bomb or something. - What?
- He said it was a bomb! - This is a bomb! It will explode!
[All Screaming]
Come here, kid. Come on.
He won't come out. He is scared.
That's not a dog. That is -
I don't know what that is. Some types of possums maybe.
I have never seen a black and white possession.
I think it's skunk.
How do you know what skunk is like? We don't have them at home.
Looks like Pepe Le Pew in a cartoon on TV [Chuckles]
I think the skunk is It should have a bad smell.
[Sniffing] Don't smell
Come on, kid. Come on.
[Chattering Dispatcher]
Explosive devices that are possible and hostage situations.
That's it.
No wonder he's scared.
The bloody helicopter.
Take off!
We have a very complicated situation for the police here
The suspect seems to be holding a young hostage.
Stay where you are!
Put the bomb!
What?
That's not a bomb. That's a cat.
Ah, look, like at home. The police are your friends.
They are here to help us.
That's not a cat. That's skunk.
- You can take it from here, guys. - Uh-eh
Uh, Mike, I don't want to mention this to your mother He might not understand. This is a man's item.
Of course, at that stage, early this morning,
We don't know the bomb Actually, it's skunk.
Officers are reluctantly placed Skunk in team cars...
to wait for the arrival of from animal control
Meanwhile, it's supported traffic in 101...
[Volume Increase] from Calabasas to Pasadena, worst traffic jam -
- What are you doing, Mikey? - Uh, it's okay, honey, it's me.
Oh. Mick, are you sure Do you want to come tonight?
I mean, this is a social thing, But it will work for me.
I'm looking forward to it.
You know, to see if the local community is as friendly as the New Yorkers.
I hope your child feels the same way. He started school on Wednesday.
Oh, don't worry He, uh, he's just like me, really.
From what I heard, he has enough charm to stop skunks from spraying him.
Yeah, well, you know, we roarin 'on the freeway -
No problem.
- You look very cute on TV. - bloody television
## [Rap]
Not this time, friend.
- [gasps] Mick! - Contact the police!
Let him go. He is the servant. He should park his car.
Yes, yes, relax, man.
- tip him - sorry
- Honest mistake - sorry
Valet?
## [Continued Rap]
- Image, please - Sure.
Mind if we get an injection?
Don't worry I will only get drink, mix in.
Good. I will come and pick you up after I have done a formality.
[Humans] A big smile for the camera.
All right, that's your Evian, and here it is...
Your sparkling mineral water with a twist
Oh, and a straight soda club.
So, have you taken or washed your clothes?
G'day. Mick Dundee And you are--
Tony. What can I get? for you, Mr Dundee?
Only cold beer I'll do, friend. Thank you.
That is typical of L. A. today. Nut health
Worried about what they drink, worry about what they eat
I used to be like that until I found the answer
Oh? And, um, what's the answer?
Coffee. Eating and drinking whatever you are please, then flush with coffee.
So you only drink a lot of coffee
No. You don't drink it. I'm talking about colonization.
A good coffee theme makes you clean like a whistle.
[Chuckles] The bottle rises.
Hey, Tony. Enema -
Not where they pushed old hose -
- Yap. Many people swear by them. - With coffee?
- Cream and sugar? - This is L. A.
Sorry, Mr. Rothman.
I want to introduce you to someone.
- Ms Sue Charleton from Newsday. - Hello
Arnan Rothman. Happy. Didi says I have been replaced...
- Our friend is late, Tom Zetland. - [Cell Phone Ringing]
- Excuse me. - That's embarrassing. He is a good person,
and he really knows the way around this business.
Well, I'm afraid I came rather briefly in that department.
Actually I hope Maybe you can help me out.
- Are you playing this film? - I? Oh, no, I'm socializing.
Network. Me, too. Have you seen one of these works?
- No. - Schlock is amazing I don't like you
Shames you for being in business.
The only thing I see worse than the Lethal Agent is Lethal Agent II.
I read this one, and it's even worse.
I don't know how this clown remains in business I think you've heard, then, they made Lethal IV Agent.
What?
Nobody told me. Do you know if they are casting?
I have to contact my agent.
I plan to follow through Tom's story...
more about your film company than this film.
- We shot everything in Greece. - Oh!
[gasps]
Allow me to introduce Milos Drubnick, our international vice president
- Sue Charleton - Nice to meet an American star.
I'm a big fan, all your films.
Well, that's very good of you, But I'm a journalist.
- Sue from Newsday. - Hah.
Milos handles all Eastern European Activities.
I can't work there without him.
You excuse me.
Well, I don't want to monopolize all your time here
I hope we can catch up with in the studio
Right.
That's how they do something
You don't want it, love.
Get some free food in you. You will feel much better.
You're welcome.
- Hey, you're from below, right? - Yeah.
I guess you don't know Mel Gibson.
Mel Gibson? It should be. Bringing him out of prison twice.
You're kidding me. You really know him
- I can tell a few stories about Mad Mel. - Please do it.
I thought you said we were done with the rebel Newsday people.
He just followed up Original story I will handle it
No. Now he wants to come peek around the studio You have to say no.
Listen, we're new kids in the city right?
We should beg for for publicity
We start banning the press, they will be above us.
Leave this to me - He took off his shoes - Thank you, Tony. - You are welcome.
Walk outside naked naked.
Set the fire to the building and burn it to the bloody ground.
[Everyone laughs]
She's crazy.
Excuse me.
Friends of Mel Gibson. They are practically brothers.
I have seen them together.
Just say some tales about Mel Gibson.
- You don't know Mel Gibson. - Yes, of course.
You know him too Meet him at the Donk pub.
Mel Gibson. A tall red haired man, goes limp Oh, "Mall." Malcolm Gibson. Not Mel Gibson.
Yes, Gibson Mall. They know about him here!
A small world, right?
Hey, Mick. Mick, You gave me a call at any time.
Okay, man. Hey! Maybe we will have lunch.
- Mick, you're starting to scare me. - I like Hollywood
Good afternoon. Welcome to Beverly Hills.
Thank you.
So, your story in the film company has just been hot red
I am interviewing head of the studio in the parking lot.
I even brought my family. They will tour.
Okay then, then. WELCOME, women and men, boys and girls,
to the Paramount Pictures tour.
This is where magic happens, people. But before we really start,
I will ask all of you to raise your right hand
Okay, cool. What now You will witness...
are some of the biggest secrets filmmaking
So I have to ask that you all don't swear to reveal anything you witness here
Do you swear?
Uh, just say, "I know."
- [All] I did - Fine.
Right, Jim.
Oh, wow, you're signed in for Special treatment here today, people,
Because only in front of we are actually filming...
a giant crowd scene for the latest...
Silvergate Studio Picture, Lethal III Agent.
I told you we should go to Universal
Because it's quite simple, the loss in the first two films...
amortized to cost of franchise
We made this film for practically nothing.
Okay, but still, it's not like that is cheaper to make your film...
whether here or in Eastern Europe are not the two places?
Of course, but our films are set in Eastern Europe.
You can't fake location here?
I mean, they're shooting an African forest next to it.
Sue, can you and I talk? Outside the recording?
- Will you excuse me for a moment? - Sure.
To be honest, yes,
success or failure of these films...
not important to us.
We chase bigger fish.
It's over 300 million people...
in what was once a Soviet block.
People who are starving entertainment
Films shot in their own backyard, starred in their own people
I'm talking about building a large studio, cineplex chain,
even an amusement park.
The agreement I'm talking about will make Euro Disney look like a penny.
Now, this is a great story. A Russian Hollywood.
And when do we enter the note?
[Sighs] Two weeks, peak.
But for you,
24 hours before worldwide.
Exclusive for Newsday.
And instead?
Pause the part you have has already begun. Now, what is that?
This is - It's a story about a small-time studio...
and both movies that don't work
[Chuckles] Who cares?
What are you saying?
- [Buzzing] - Well,
if it's exclusive Newsday, I think you have an agreement.
Claire, why don't you take it? Ms. Charleton went down to the set.
You can see glamor on the business side.
I will contact.
You're good.
[Travel Guide]... where we can transform an ordinary man orw...
become an ape or clown Okay then. Now, before we enter the following portal,
It is my duty to warn you that some forest creatures are dangerous...
it has been seen off, So keep on on the tram at any time.
I don't want to lose anyone... again
- Daddy, do you have a big knife? - Don't think I'll need it here
I might have my pocket knife. What do you need it for?
- If there is an attack on a forest animal. - I think we will be fine Okay, look out, people, it's a giant deadly anaconda!
- [Passenger Gasping] - [chuckles]
- Well, that's awesome, man. - Sorry, reflex action.
Good. Cool.
Let's get out of here.
[Humans] Hey, is he part of the show, or what?
G'day.
- Is that more men's stuff, Dad? - You're right, friend.
- Hey, you two Do you have fun? - Yeah, that's cool.
Yes. So what is your interview?
Creepy.
Have you ever talked to someone and thought Everything they said was a lie?
Yes. Nugget
Now, Nugget is not dangerous. This guy--
Do you know what you have to do? You paper has a police connection right?
You must make the police Background checks on him.
That's how they do it on the NYPD Blue
Hmm. Well, I see Mikey's is not the only one who is fixated...
to TV all day
But we only watch education programs. Right, friend?
Yes. Like wrestling.
"Can you kiss it? What is cooking with stones? "
- Well, does he behave today? - Yeah, he's good like gold.
I'm not talking to you I'm talking to Mikey.
Oh.
And there's no TV. You start school tomorrow
G'day. Mick Dundee
This is to take my ankle. It's the first day.
Ah, Barry Katz. What is it, uh, class?
- Uh, fourth - Oh, just like my son
My son is third. Eric Berry.
- Hi, Eric. - Well, you look like someone outside the house.
What do you think about this the whole idea of survival?
What is that?
The school planted it this summer. Teach children how to survive in the forest.
Fishing, making a campfire. Father accepted.
- Oh. - [Eric] I think that's a good idea.
Give them the opportunity to connect with nature. I'll invite Gary.
Good for you. A few weeks in the bush,
You and your child, Both of you will like it.
Have you ever brought your son inland where are you Under?
All the time
Just last month, I took it to the bush.
taught him how to kill wild boar with a stick
Kill wild boar But he is, like, nine years old!
Yes, fine, you know what they say. Better late than not, huh?
Ah. See you later, fellas.
Hi daddy. Mathis wants to talk to you. I'll meet you there.
- Dorothy Mathis, Mr. Charleton. - Oh, how are you?
Actually, this is Mick Dundee. But I'm Mikey's father.
Oh, Mr. Dundee. Right.
All right, first, Mikey beautiful boy bright, friendly.
There is only one small problem, which we meet all the time here.
We call it "Hollywood Syndrome".
Like when a father plays a policeman in a film,
Children often believe he's actually a police officer
Oh right, already Many children are actors here.
I am not in the film business, I enter the tourism business. Not so glamorous.
Exactly. That's why your child tries to make it...
sounds a little more than it actually is.
Now, it seems harmless, But small fibroids can grow.
What did he say?
I'm afraid he tells everyone You are a hunter,
and you hunt and kill crocodiles. [Chuckles Nervously]
Oh. He knows is better than that
Crocodiles are protected. I did not kill them. I caught them alive.
Oh? Yes, of course.
I'll talk to him. No more fib.
It's nice to meet you, Dorothy.
Looks like a hunter.
Good ass Daddy, will you tell the teachers? to call me Dundee, not Charleton?
Oh, of course. We only have to register you in the school under your mother's name...
because it's yours official name here
Is that the cause? You won't marry Mum?
Oh, no, we're married... rather.
We just haven't finished yet . It's a little legal.
So, what do children say when you tell them are your father a crocodile hunter?
They said, "Okay he is in Beverly Hills? "
Smart kids.
Hi daddy, what did the man do
I don't know Let's go and ask him.
Excuse me, sir. What are you doing?
Okay, I'm meditating, young man.
What is meditating?
Meditating is a special place I live in my mind where there is no interference,
and I accept a great source of strength.
cool. Can you Show me how, please?
Sure. Forward forward and sit down.
- my name is Mikey What's yours? - Hi, Mikey I'm Mike
Oh, hi, Mike. I'm Mick, Mikey's father.
Mikey, Mick, Mike. You got to be kidding me right?
- No. - Alright alright. Hold your legs...
as in the Buddhist position,
grab your ankle save yourself some discomfort,
and, um, we will take it easy - close your eyes, relax
[Deep breathing] Take a positive breath,
[Exhale] exhales negativity.
positive Inhale,
exhale negativity.
Open your eyes. Get up. Relax.
- How are you feeling? - Very strong.
And that's the ticket, daddy-o-- power. Everything is in power.
Mikey, will you hurry forward? I need to talk to Mike for a while.
- OK. - personally
- Thank you, Mike. See you later. - Thank you, Mikey. Watch Out.
Now, Mike, I need help.
You know, Mick, everything needs help from me Okay, I want you to help me. My knees are locked.
It was my fault there. You got it, friend.
I don't want my child to see. Oh! There.
Thank you.
Hey, Daddy, do you see the size? Muscle Mike They are very big.
Yes. You see, you should never judge a book by its cover.
Mike is - big guy, is built like dunney bricks,
but I can immediately say it He is a gentle man.
He won't hurt a fly. I only know people. This is a gift.
[Man On TV] I need you guys to tear this place apart.
Ah, this is a bowlin ball. Pure heroin
- I know it's somewhere. - Check the bowlin ball.
- Hey, what about this bowling ball? - I know it.
[Television Continues]
- Hey, Sue! - Hmm?
- What are you doing, love? - Trying to think like a journalist again.
I used to be pretty good at that
Not that anyone will put...
Sue Charleton and Pulitzer Prize In the same sentence,
But, ah, [sighs] I'm just confused.
Is that a, uh, movie studio thing?
I'm sure this is a complicated front for something. But what?
They are smugglin '.
- Medicine or weapon - How did you get to that?
That's what always happens.
The big money they smuggle to America is drugs And the big thing goes out - weapon
Oh.
And where does this insight main criminal activity come from?
Oh, from TV. I learn fast.
Looks like I just fell off a radish truck, but I didn't land on my head Do you know what you need? You need a mole.
- mole? - I. I will get a job in the studio.
Oh, Mick, I know you need something to do, but -
I made a lot of contact at the film party
I bet one of them can get a job there
Now, what about Mikey? Who will take him to school in the morning
I will give him one of the caregivers. I'll get a good one.
No worries. Leave it to me. This is important.
Look, sometimes I think young Mikey I think I'm a little noble.
Alright, actually me.
I want to show him that being a hamlet doesn't mean you are stupid.
[Man] So our first group, walks on the road,
followed by our three entrepreneurs at a faster pace...
and then both of us construction workers!
- Diego Rosales - Yeah, Mick Mick Smith
Nice to meet you, Mick.
Now, we are in Berlin, so please walk like a German!
How does Germany work?
- One leg after the other? - Well.
So, this is practice! Only background
And... action!
What are you doing?
I only want my child to see me in the photo
Yeah, well, if you start looking for in the camera on take,
- they will take you out of the picture - Oh.
- you're new, aren't you? - Yes, first role. A little nervous.
Cutting! Back to one, please!
- Take it easy. Watch me, okay? - Yeah.
Forget about the camera.
We two stiffs worked on the way to a bar
- Oh, pretend it's real life? - Yeah.
Okay, now, people, we will do it for now, real, and remember--
please pay attention!
- Relax, everyone! The picture goes up - Shut up!
- Roll! - Speed of sound.
Markers
Set. And... background action.
And actions.
Stop that person!
- Cut! Cut! - Man, are you okay
- What happened? - That is my mistake. I see it runnin '-
Uh, what happened was he - he tried to catch him when he fell.
We saw him travel. He left hard. Are you sure you're okay
- Thank you for trying, friend. - Okay, we will go again.
Return to one! As soon as possible! We lose light!
Thank you for covering me up.
I can't help it, you know? Reflexes. Sort of like a flashback of football.
Football, my ass That's not legal handling.
That's at home. This is called dowel and a coat hanger. However, I owe you one.
No, no, it's okay. I have to hold you here.
You are fun I want to see what you are going to do to mess up the next one.
Good.
Oh, uh, what's the problem, Michael?
Miss, do people like mice? in America, or are they just pests?
- why do you ask - There is a large mouse on the bookshelf.
[All Screaming]
[Gasping, Groaning]
- is it dead? - no, miss
I'm just stunned. Daddy says never kill anything unless you will eat it
[All] Eww!
I think we will put it outside, please
She's my best friend, you know?
The key to survival here is that you have to Keep your face away from the camera.
That way they can use you again and again.
- I've been in every mass scene. - You are a professional All right, everyone! Complete!
- settle down! - Try again.
And background actions!
Actions.
Watch this! Watch this! Kiki, get me a drink
[Chittering]
Cutting! This doesn't work.
What's the problem with monkeys?
Sorry. He was fine. Come here, Kiki. Come here.
I don't understand. He never did this.
Come here, Kiki!
He's just a little nervous. What do you want him to do?
- Have you worked with animals? - Yeah.
- Somewhat. - He should go to the table...
and drinking soda for actors
- Diet or normal? - Whatever. Diet.
- Want a glass? - He hasn't learned it yet.
- We're late here - [whispers]
Can we try one more time? If this doesn't work, we will drop it.
Okay, back to one. This is the real thing, everyone.
Concentrate. Rolls!
- Image rises! - Speed. Markers
- And background actions! - Action!
Watch this. Watch this!
Kiki, get me a drink Make it one food.
And a glass too! Thank you, I'm at Liebchen.
Cutting! Printing! Check the gate.
[Applause] What
[whispering] Order him
Listen, uh, I got a problem. All of my animals are in the forest,
and I can't keep coming back and forth with chimpanzees.
So if you will fill in for me, I will multiply what will be paid.
Will I still be in this photo?
Every day. Kiki is a top-the-title player.
- You got an agreement - [clapping]
You see the new monkey wrangler.
- Thank you for your help, Diego. - Dude, Mick!
Hey, hey, this is a positive career step.
- According to him? - I said, you will go far
Ah! Don't be a stranger now.
A good man's hell.
- [Children chatting - Mikey!
Wait a minute, honey.
- Look, Mike. - See you, Mikey.
I think your father picked you up again Now, he's working this week.
Oh. Bummer. How are you? come home later?
I have a child caregiver like other children.
Oh! Which one is yours?
there. The big one.
- your caregiver - He is Uncle Jacko from behind the house.
- And is Uncle Jacko married? - No, but he saw.
Hi. Dorothy Mathis. I am teacher Mikey.
G'day, Dorothy. Call me Jacko
Very awesome
Los Angeles, eh?
Funny name
Los Angeles.
Yes, that means, uh, "The lost angel."
This is an Italian. Ah, here it is.
I told Sue that I was going to take you somewhere really special for dinner You will love this place Trust me.
Now, choose what you want from the menu here...
and you shout that into the box
Two minutes later, you incised it...
even without getting out of the car
We have this drive-in back home in the city,
But this is where everything starts.
So you can eat like a pig and nobody can see you Smart lawyer, Yanks, huh?
Well, this is why L. A. is famous for all over the world -
for delicious dishes.
[Girl] Welcome to Wendy's. Can I take your order
Let me handle this Good night, Wendy.
There will be four of us Eating in the car tonight.
So we need four or four burgers with cheese...
and four Biggie Fries.
So that's four classic riples...
- Uh, wait a minute - and four Biggie Fries?
Uh, this is Stan and Harry.
Uh, they will also eat with us tonight,
so we need... six three burgers with cheese...
and six Biggie Fries.
Good. Six classic ripples with cheese and six Biggie Fries?
- Do you know what I really want to do? - What is that?
Go to the roof in one of the skyscrapers.
That's easy. Just find the one that's open
S'truth. This is higher than the Ayers Stone.
Yes. Of course, the building in New York is much higher.
I was there, you know.
Old New York.
Or as we call it, "Big Apple."
Big Apple? Why do you call it that?
Well, because is very big and, uh--
Yes, but no such building is as dangerous as this.
What do you mean?
Well, they don't have an earthquake in New York.
They're here all the time right?
Yes.
We can have it now too.
God!
What do you think will do for this building?
Hey, I don't want to be here if he starts shakin ', huh?
[Chuckles]
I've seen enough. You have done?
Oh yeah. There is no point in wandering around.
Congratulations on this earthquake
Don't worry.
Oh, friend, I need a drink After all, 286 stairs.
Don't worry about friends.
Not working
Now, you have to wait. There are hundreds of cars going through...
and only the two of us tried to cross.
Yes? Now there are 20 of us, huh?
Yes, but you can't do that This is illegal.
Well, I don't see any police.
Yes, but they have cameras at all of these intersections, see?
If you do something wrong, they take your photo and send a fine to you Yes, but I don't use a number plate on my neck,
So how are they? will know who I am, huh?
When you land here, You show your passport, don't you?
- Yeah. - Have your picture in it, dopey.
Oh, yes, right.
I hope how much they are fine you
Everything depends on how many times You press the button.
- This looks like us. - good Texas bar We are in
This can be a little fun.
This American cowboy is like a good barroom fight.
- ## [Disco] - Wow, boy. Continue entering
Wow, ma'am.
- Ma'am - Howdy, cowboy
# It's a rain of men Hallelujah #
Crow crows bloody!
That is definitely one of the poofter bars.
Yes. Only I who believe the correct term is "gay homosexuals."
## [Rap]
Give it, punk, or I'll make you leave
- ## [Rap Continues] - Uh, wait a minute I can't hear you
## [Stop]
- That's better. Now how can I help you? - Smart cowboy, huh?
- Give me your money, man! - They are not cowboys.
- They're gay dress up! - Fags have money too [Laughter]
- Give it to me or I'll break the hat on your ass!
Son, you know how fast You have to catch a tiger snake?
I'm always robbed. I have to look rich.
That's one of the soft-top cars. Is buried.
- [Punks Yelling] - [Horn Honks]
- Ow! - You know,
This is definitely why they call L. A. "City on Wheels."
What do you mean?
They don't even get out of their car for your mug.
- Hey! - [groaning] Ow!
That's all your fault, house!
Should we call the police?
There are no benefits. Here, they might sue us.
Besides that, it's not their fault.
This is the medicine.
I saw everything about that to Geraldo Rivera.
He knows the streets.
Let's drink a cup of coffee and go home
Don't be too rushed order coffee around here
You may not be too happy with the way they serve it.
Trust me.
And here is a big crocodile almost a little bit of his leg immediately off.
- Whoa! - Neat!
Well, to be honest, kids, is not too big.
No more than 20 feet or more however.
[Boy] Whoa! That's very big
- [Chittering] - Yes I know.
They just don't respect a true artist I will bite it too.
I think you are great.
I don't care what the director said. He is stupid.
You are really good
- You say black with one sugar right? - Oh, yes.
- Thank you, friend Very good - And...
I got a little attention for our friend here
Oh good. It will hit the place.
- Black and one sugar. - [Slurps]
He's a bit angry today.
Not happy with the size of the trailer.
He wants a big one like Virgil, but I keep telling him,
"Virgil is a lion. You are just a monkey "
- [Chittering] - sorry
"Chimpanzees."
Say, have you thought? About changing agents?
Diego, you are talking to chimpanzees. They don't speak English.
I'm not my first wife either.
Keep moving, Dravos.
Don't be stupid The thought of the painting!
[mumbling]
Just brush carefully on the wall now.
- [Thuds] - be careful!
G'day, Phil. What happened, friend?
Hi, Mick Regular continuity nightmare.
Right.
- What does that mean? - That means I have to make this set...
looks exactly like that on location in Yugoslavia.
Yugoslavia. Where is it? all of these paintings come from?
Yes. They have it done there Stupid.
It will be cheaper here, and more realistic.
Oh, so there's nothing valuable. Everything is just a copy.
Yup, and more precisely poor people at that time And this big and tacky frame? For God's sake.
Are they not usually carts set and props...
from one country to another and back again?
Maybe in a large international budget films like Mission: Impossible 3.
But I've never seen Tom Cruise roam around the set, right?
Tom Cruise What is he like?
Like... Tom Cruise.
God, Mick, are you? was born in a cave?
Yes! How do you know that?
Forget it.
Jim, the Van Gogh is on the wrong end Look, here they start with Gauguins, one above the other.
Let's do this We have to finish here tonight.
They are filming here tomorrow
[Sniffs]
[Mick] You see, You can mix heroin into plaster,
Make it whatever you like.
So, when I saw this guy go crazy They hit that poor painting,
That's when I know where the drug is hidden -
formed into a photo frame.
Pure heroin, or as we call it, "hit."
Gosh, Mick, you really did it thinking like a detective
Yeah, well, it came kind of natural to me, you know?
- Hey, Mick - Ah.
It is a police laboratory.
Sorry. The frame is only plaster. There is no medicine.
Oh, just bother.
I'm sure I solved this case.
I don't know Maybe they don't smuggle anything Oh no. They sneak around with something.
I haven't found it yet.
Listen, I read about this friend,
he used to push a wheelbarrow full of cow dung...
crossing the border every day
"Fertilizer for the garden," he said. Lasts for months.
And the border guards know he's smuggling something,
so they will stop it and sweep it is manure with a fine comb.
Never found anything Apparently they are right. He smuggles something:
wheelbarrow
Right under their noses.
Look, it's there, and I just haven't seen it... yet. But I will do it.
No I think he's right first time. This is an anesthetic.
They won't go to everything the problem is for the wheelbarrow.
Cutting! and print.
We will cut when he throws, so it will work well.
- Alright! - Very good, Paul.
[Assistant Director] Listen, everyone, we don't burn the fort now.
That will be a second unit shot tomorrow.
That means everyone goes home early and has tomorrow off.
- what? OK! - Okay, see you all Friday!
First thing
[Man] And you've really seen this painting recently.
Yes, today
Well, then that makes it easy. They are fake.
Do you know that from the photo?
Well, usually, no. But, you see, these Rembrandts...
and this, The Olive Field by Van Gogh,
unfortunately no longer exists
During the bombing from Belgrade by NATO,
The Serbian National Art Museum takes a direct hit,
burned to the ground along with the original of this painting...
and probably the best collection from old masters in Eastern Europe.
That is a tragedy for the world of art.
Ergo, this must be a fake copy.
That's, um, Belgrade, is that in Yugoslavia?
- Yeah. - Where did this painting come from?
What if it doesn't an accidental bomb...
and someone deleted first painting?
Deprivation of war?
Maybe I should see this. Can you take me to them?
That might not be possible.
But if I can get it and bring it to you and it's real,
That means the rest may be real, right?
You have to contact me once You found it. I have to see them.
- Don't worry. - Thank you. Thank you.
- Hey, who is this interesting? - Pablo Picasso
I'm a man drinking alone, but I've never been hammered.
This will be a piece of cake. I know a lot backwards.
- Wait in the car. - Uh, Mick?
I will say, "Be careful,"
but I guess that's kind of a stupid thing to say to someone who hunts crocodiles.
Don't worry.
Of course the difference is is clear here,
but in the movie, this is the perfect match - isn't it? - Alright, we have the painting.
Now should we continue this stupid movie business bullshit?
You really don't understand, do you?
God is in the details.
This goes to the country as a movie prop. Anyone wants to see them "Sorry, we burned it.
Want proof? Go see the movie. "
Deadlock. Brilliant.
Carl, we need your help Carl, the painting must be covered.
I'll be with you soon.
- Then who is that? - [Milos] Stop him!
After him! Immediately!
Shoot low! Don't hit the painting!
After him! Close everything!
- Fast! Hold this! Thank you. - What?
He ran here. Dravos follows it.
Close all exits. Go and help Dravos drive him away.
[whispering] Shhh. I know I know. Mick said to wait here.
This is bust right?
I know. I just see.
How did you get here? Who cared for Mikey?
Miss Mathis, the teacher is from school
I followed you in his car.
Oh. I will hold you back.
Ah.
[Screams]
Wait and hold Ha! I just went out with them.
- Who is this person? How is he-- - I think he's a monkey.
Mick, the guy who trains monkey. The same hat
How are those monkeys? know about painting?
Is he alone You'd better wish he was alive.
Get in there
[Man On Walkie-talkie. ] We enter the fourth stage.
- We will water it in your way - Received.
[bell rings]
[laughs]
[Moos]
- [Fart] - Oh!
Shoot low. We need it alive.
[Whistles]
- Beware... - [Screaming]
for walls
He goes to the forest.
There is only one way in and out of there
- I joined. - Close the gate until we get there.
[Rustling Leaves]
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Big five
[Man On Walkie-talkie] Stan, copy. The boss says don't go there alone.
- Stan? Stan? - Too late, friend.
Stan!
What is that, um--
I-that's... missed, I guess.
I hope.
Hi, Mick
I know you are still here.
Why don't we stop? playing this silly game?
You can go out and...
Join your friends.
I can't wait for this!
[Mick] Okay, you win I'm out.
Just don't make any sudden movements
You don't have to be too formal. We are all friends You can... lower your hands.
I can't really lower this one.
- And why is that? - Because if I put this arm down...
and break eye contact,
he might come here and tear you apart.
- Who? - Fella who lives there
Seeing. Up on the rock.
[Evolving]
Are you crazy? Can't kill a lion with a. Gun
- You will only upset him. - [Growling]
If you shoot someone, they better not bleed
The lion is raging When they smell blood.
If I were you, I would retreat slowly into the cage.
[Gulps, Cleansing Throat]
Uh, yeah Of course, that is...
tame lion.
Yes. You can be right.
[Roaring]
I shot you You bleed
- I took my chance - But he is not your problem - This is the lady I'm worried about. - [Growling]
I can't handle it.
He has PMS, I guess. Can see it in his eyes.
After all, you do what you have to do I entered the cage
before your mother-in-law drops.
- No! Not! - [Roaring]
- Open the door! Open the door now too! - Give me the gun
You hold the gun to the head of my wife.
- Huh? - That is unforgivable - I will help you lose weight. - How?
Virgil will come down here and bite a big piece of fat you donkey.
- [whining] - Virgil, lunch!
- [Roars] - Sit!
[Roars]
Ah.
If you touch me, I will sue you for every penny you have.
Ha! Well, that sounds fair.
Hey, that's around 40 dollars.
[Laughter] This is a fair agreement.
Bargain.
And how are you?
- What are you doing here? - Well, I have to.
My cellphone is dead,
and I have to come here to find a telephone to call 911.
You are smart, Sue. I never must have thought about it
Yeah, well, that's because he's a Dundee
Or he should be.
Uh, Jacko, watch the thugs and, uh, close your ears.
- What? - close your ears Private talk
Don't worry about friends.
Uh, I have to tell you this
I'm really scared for the first time in my life Alright. Most people are afraid of lions.
No, not a lion. They are just hungry.
That's when I saw the goon with a gun in your head That's when I realized how much I, uh--
You know, um--
Will you marry me?
Now, you're in a hurry to do things, isn't it, Mick?
Are you sure you don't just have a romantic setting?
Local experts say the value of from art is recovering...
can run as high as as $ 300 million.
For the latest, let's go to Marta Waller on the scene. Marta?
Thank you, p. Right now the police took...
This priceless painting is in protective custody.
The woman behind me talking to that detective is Ms. Sue Charleton,
Newsday reporter...
who leads detective cache from stolen works
However, last night,
he said he really was, an expert in the world of art.
Doesn't the person who has a skunk on the freeway?
- [Whispering Man] Hey, Hal! - We will have more stories to unfold.
Right now, let's go to Malibu...
where it rained last night almost a quarter of an inch of rain...
resulting in massive flooding and large mud slides...
along the Pacific Coast Highway.
[Human] Sue, do you accept this larrikin...
like your seasoned husband?
- I did - Mick,
do you accept this beautiful woman as your seasoned wife?
Don't worry.
Fair enough. I now say you...
husband and wife.
[Applause and applause]
- Good, Mick. - OK!
This is official now, friend. You are Mick Dundee II.
- Cool. - Now I think we will wait and see...
did you turn out to be another Crocodile Dundee...
or Michael Dundee, _ newspaper tycoon.
Oh, that's not the brain, Dad.
I will be Crocodile Dundee,
hunters and wealthy owners a big newspaper
I don't lift the dumbbell.
Enter this for photos.
- What for? - You look like a dork in that suit.
- No, no. - You should look like Crocodile Dundee.
No, I think my crocodile The hunting days are over.
From here on, this... "Mick Dundee, Private Eye."
No I'm kiddin '
[Woman Shouts]
##
I come from a country under #
# Beer flows and chunder man #
# Can't you hear can't you hear thunder #
# You better run You better take refuge, yes #
# raveling in. fried combie #
# On the hippie track Full head of zombies #
# I met a strange woman #
# He makes me nervous #
# He brought me in and gave me breakfast #
# He said you came from the mainland below #
# Where women glow and people loot #
# Can you hear can't you hear thunder #
# You better run You better take refuge, yes #
# Buy bread from a man in Brussels #
He is six feet four and full of muscles #
# I said you spoke my language, brother #
# He just smiled and gave me Vegemite # # sandwich # He said I came from a land below #
# Where beer flows and chunder man #
# Can you hear can't you hear thunder #
# You better run You better take refuge, yes #
# Lying in a nest in Bombay #
# With sagging jaws and not much can be said #
# I said to the man Are you trying to tease me #
# Because I came from much land #