MAN: Gentlemen, This is what we face.
Romano, Francis A. Also known as "Pops."
Alleged leaders from the Romano crime family...
with network from extortion...
prostitution, and underground casinos...
polluting the tri-state area.
This is Paulie Romano, Pops' eldest son.
She's popular with women and good with a knife.
Even though Paulie seems to have the people around him deceived...
the source shows him functional illiteracy...
and has an inferiority complex...
Leading to the unexpected explosion of violence
Peter Romano, Pops' youngest son...
and the muscles alleged from the family.
Spending time in the north after the barroom incident.
Even though he hid it well, said he had...
very depressed homosexual tendencies...
also causes unexpected explosion of violence
Leo Corrigan, Pops' right hand.
He is our informant still in the family circle
With the information we have received from Leo...
We finally got Pops Romano right where we want it [People chatting]
[Car horn horn]
-Help! -Get an ambulance!
-Pops, wake up! -Call an ambulance!
POPS: Stop it!
Stop it!
Get out of here. Stop it!
LEO: Hey, what's this all? is lying around garbage?
Get out of bed, you old man.
Your bet has scotch in this IV, huh?
Ah, Leo, I'm old.
I don't even remember doing half of this nonsense...
they tried to pin on me.
-Eh... -Pop, a week's trial.
I mean, they claim they got an airtight case -
Well, the only way they can get is...
If they have an informant.
No. They must have sent some to be fed in disguise.
Secret? Fuck.
POPS: Undercover.
Alright. They make someone disguise themselves.
We will put someone secret...
to destroy that proof
Wait, we can't do that Who will we send?
They have pictures and files to us...
and all the people we handle.
They can't know everyone
[Snaps fingers] I have someone
- Do we believe it? -family.
Whoa, whoa, Leo, You're not talking about Corky.
Corky is dead for me.
Pops, it should have been holding him in his bed.
Face reality, guys. No one else.
Right now, he is our best bet.
[Sighs]
A-HA SINGING: Today is another day to find you Shyin goes
I will comin ' for your love, okay
Take me...
- [Tires squeal] -Watch that, jerk!
Morning, Hank!
A-HA: Take me, take me
[Honks horn]
A-HA: I'll go
Within a day or two
So, there's no need to say
I have opportunities and goals
But I will stagger away [Music stops]
- [Sighs] - [Phone rings]
Poodles and pussies.
[Dog barking]
-Warrior. -Hey, Dr. Kipper, how are you?
Corky, it's a little slowing down here today
I wonder, can you take over for me
I have a very important appointment with...
uh, this is a dentist Thank you. I appreciate it
Uh oh. Some have shots.
Corky, are you a mind reader?
No, I only saw business in the parking lot...
and it looks fresh.
Judging from the consistency of and pigmentation...
I know it came from cats, maybe calico.
Hello, Mr. Langford, How are you?
Big five, Oscar. Height of five, five in height.
Oh, I guess - arthritis?
How do you know?
I saw him shifting his weight from his feet, but don't worry We will have it and sniff butts in a short time.
KOREK: My God, Connie, Your hair looks pretty
Ho ho! I accidentally threw it in the wash...
who has a red shirt in it.
-Ha ha ha! -I saw you carrying Pierre.
-Bonjour, Pierre. - [Squawks] Bonjour.
Ohh.
He is our only reason for life.
KOREK: I understand. He's a good one.
I'm here with my baby, Jesus, for the examination.
[Jesus growling]
Oh yeah.
[Evolving]
[Grunts]
[Jesus Yowls]
COMPETITION: Well, Mrs. Hernandez...
We have to put it on a small macrobiotic diet...
from seaweed and barley.
Plus, you will have to manage vitamins...
six times a day - rectally.
- [Jesus meows] -Oh.
Kill my baby Oh, no, no, no. You don't need to do it.
Please. He has lived long enough.
I can't kill things, though.
I can't. I can find it at home.
No. Kill him!
-Oh, my little baby - [Jesus growls]
HERNANDEZ: Oh, my baby, my baby [Baby-talking]
You know, when I lost a pet...
I like to pour myself tea sleepy momentarily
Do it!
GOOD.
[Evolving]
[Sighs] Oh, eee.
- I'm sorry. - [Hisses, growls]
Let me get - just delete from...
Clean with a paper towel.
Oh! Uh...
-Sorry. Aah! Ow! It's hot! - [Yowls]
- [Mutters] - [Pierre squawks]
I'm sorry. I m--
Alright. That's a good bird.
- [Squawks] - [Hisses]
GOOD.
Alright, here it is.
This is it. This is your mother This is it. Florence, a little help!
[murky]
- [Squawks] - [Growling]
GOOD. This is it.
Right up there. This is it.
[Pants]
[Pierre berkotek]
Pierre!
[Squawking]
Baby Jesus! Pierre!
- [Squawks] -Pierre!
Oh.
[Unzips of pants] Oh.
What are you doing down there
Come on, get out of there. Come on, come on.
Take off - Uhh!
Ahh. [Baby talk]
- [Pierre squawks] -Courier.
Let's go, honey. Depart. Depart. Depart.
Come on. Depart! Let's go, love Jesus. Depart.
- [Phone rings] -B let go, love Jesus. Depart.
-Food and Pussies. -B let go, love Jesus.
Corky, you have a telephone.
Come on. I'm a little busy now.
-That's your sister -Come on.
hugging? Come on.
Come on. Come on, come on, come on.
How are you father?
Not good, and he's waiting for for you upstairs
GOOD.
Hey, Paulie. How are you?
You look right
what does it mean does that mean?
KOREK: None. We will start again, okay?
- Nice to meet you, friend. - [Fart]
Well... that's good.
-Warrior. -Daddy.
Hi, daddy. I brought you something.
[Opening the suitcase]
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell.
This is the same copy...
do you and mother use to read to me when I'm sick
KOREK: what's wrong, daddy? Do you want to say something?
You're kneeling in my air tube, jerk.
God, forgive me I got it. I - I'm very sorry
I understand now. I get--
[hissing air]
I got it. This is slippery.
Heh heh
Ahh. Ay yi yi.
Come on, Pops, This is ridiculous.
Look at him. He should wear a helmet
POPS: Corky, come here.
I won't lie for you again
I'm not a land manager.
I don't know what you are talking about Remove your head from the sand, Damn for the brain.
How many landscapers do you know...
paid in a briefcase full of cash, huh?
Oh, you - you did some landscapes, right?
I tried money laundering, gambling...
and occasional landscaping.
POPS: Now, look, kid...
I know you're not comfortable with family businesses...
but we don't have much time
I want you to go undercover as an FBI agent...
and destroy the proof against me
[laughs] Oh.
But I have animals it depends on me We will send someone to fill in for you Do you really think I'm the most qualified? I mean...
The consensus is that you are the least qualified...
but you are family
Can I, uh...
can I - can I-- can I think of this?
What to think about, Corky?
Can't you see Pops swallowing his pride...
only asks you to do this
When was the last time you raised a finger for this family?
It's just that - you know, Everything happened so fast.
Wait wait. Let me talk to him.
Listen, son, think of this as an opportunity to make amends.
You know You broke your pop heart...
when you turn your back on you on a family business.
I don't turn my back on me. They kicked me out after the mother died.
Without feeling, what's important now Does your family need you?
What are you saying, kid?
Paulie, did you get another DUI You need to be repaired?
No, I want you to send something to the FBI
Can you handle it?
DEXTER: Peter, see who you are talking to I got a 120-gig hard drive...
and digital connections NASA will be jealous.
Whoa! Is that one of the epsons...
Can you print a greeting card?
Shut up, Corky.
All right, tell me exactly What do you need.
I need you to plant Corky here...
with the FBI station in Park Realm.
Arrange him with a fake background, name and resume.
And it's better to be good...
because if you don't accept the transfer...
I personally will download...
500 megabytes from my fist to your ass KOREK: Uh, technically, you will upload it.
But, you know, it's not that I'm a hot computer...
or what, because I don't.
Just do the right thing, Dexter.
I don't want to kill you
KOREK: Come on. Let's calm down, huh?
Alright. What is the name?
I really don't care what you call him, pissant PETER: come on, friend
KOREK: For my resume, I am very good with animals.
Thank you.
If you will continue to do it hang out with us...
can you at least try and bring yourself...
a little more like us, please?
Oh, you mean unmitigated anger and violence?
Look, stop trying to talk like mom, okay?
You are too soft
You praise the man on the equipment...
and then you thank him for the time
I mean, Christ, Corky, You might also give him...
a glass of wine and a handshake.
Are you familiar? with the expression...
"Do you catch more bees with honey than vinegar"?
You know that
Ow! Ow! Ouch!
What's your problem?
Paulie, where is this place
-I don't know. -What's the place?
Motel
But I think I live at home in my old room
-You can't stay at home. -Why not?
Well, there are several reasons.
Number one, house is under surveillance
Number two, we turned your old room into the gym...
and throw away all your nonsense
I think I will - God, what is that -
Why-- why did you do that?
- Still. -Listen to your brother.
Alright, pull your pants
No.
Corky, I don't go to give you wedgie I will attach a wire to you.
This is the idea of Uncle Leo...
in case you get above your head there.
Let's go. Pull your pants Let's go.
[laughs]
-Hei. -Come on!
- [Laughter] Stop it -Drop it!
GOOD. Forgive me.
Move your hand
- [Zips up pants] -Ow! Ow! Ow!
Alright, give me a sound check
Continue.
Alright, we're good. We are good That's good.
-B-i-n-g-- -we are good
GOOD. OK.
PETER: When you enter there, remains low profile
Don't jump like the little goddam's god .
Enter and exit. No bullshit Understand?
KOREK: Do you know what this is? What kind of am I?
When I was young, and mom dropped me off...
at Camp Young and Chubby for overweight teens.
And I cry, because I don't want to go...
I cry because I don't want to go.
Isn't that strange...
how does that kind of thing work like that?
Fifty dollars says he didn't do it Do it through the front door.
MAN SINGING: There is a man who leads a dangerous life
To everyone he met he is still a stranger
With every move he made...
[Beep sensor]
Sir, take off your arm.
MAN: Chances are he won't live to see tomorrow...
[Beep device]
Can you empty your pocket, please sir?
KOREK: Pull me out!
Clear your pocket, please sir.
Oh, I'm sorry. I don't realize you are an agent I don't know You are with the bureau.
Yes, I'm with the bureau.
Ahem. Forgive me. I'm just-- I drink too much coffee.
I'm just a little wired. Aah!
I mean "wired" as in "nervous." I don't mean "wired"...
like there is a hidden wire in my crotch
KOREK: I mean, FBI agents use hidden wire...
in the groin - I mean, it will go crazy right?
Right?
You can go now, agent.
I'm leaving now. Thank you.
Excuse me.
I experienced a small confrontation at the checkpoint...
but don't worry I keep my head cool...
and I eradicate it possible suspicion.
Agent Pissant?
Ah!
Yes. Hi. Uh...
Oh, actually, that, uh...
[French accent] it's Pissant
Now, the transfer comes through at the right time.
We can use someone with your experience...
to our special task force.
KORON: Ooh! Special task force, huh?
SHUSTER: That's right
The elite team I recruited - the best of the best...
specifically specifically for capturing Night Vulture.
Night Vulture?
SHUSTER: number six on the most searched list
Largest heroin supplier on the east coast...
moreover the most sadistic
Grr!
The last four people that upset him...
ends with their genitals cut off.
I asked the coroner about weapons
He said no.
That bastard did it empty-handed.
Oh.
I am Howard Shuster's agent, station director
Hi.
This is Brick Davis, senior agent...
and my right hand.
Agent Pissant.
KOREK: Uh, actually, it's, uh...
[French accent] it's Pissant
It's - it's - You know, this is French.
SHUSTER: Davis is the best man in his field.
Right now, he will go down...
the most dangerous city crime boss
We are all guaranteed a belief
That's only one. When I finish...
the whole family will be a violator.
SHUSTER: I've reviewed your resume Pretty impressive, but a degree from Harvard...
three compliments for courage...
and Olympic medal to shoot sharply
won't catch you out of the ditch.
We need all hands on the deck around here.
Good afternoon.
sir? Thank you.
DA VIS: Good tie.
Thank you.
This must give some lucky sniper...
good target to go.
[laughs]
Maybe, huh?
[Rummaging]
Just leave. Go away. I want to go home.
-What happened? -Do you see my resume?
It says I know five different languages
I am an expert sniper.
I am a black belt in something called...
gyoing gyoing gyoing something?
Being the hacker is a little crazy Ah, none of this matters.
Just go there and get proof.
Then you can return to give your hamster an enema...
or whatever you do
-No! -Get it there
-No, I don't want to! -Get it there!
No, I don't want to let it go! I do not want!
I don't want to let go! OK. OK, okay
Get me down. Get me down.
PAULIE: Come here. Come here, Lord -
Okay, just forget about it, Paulie. It's useless
Do you know what? We must have...
an ambulance stands by...
for when we break the news for papa
GOOD. I will do it.
I'm sorry. Which way to the evidence room?
Thank you.
Hi.
You must be a pissant
Yes. Actually, that... This is Pissant.
It's - this is France.
I'm Russo, part of the Vulture Night Task Force.
Very?
Hi.
Heh heh
What do you say full name?
Russo. Agent Russo.
Beautiful, beautiful name.
SHUSTER: Russo, Pissant, we need you. He attacks again.
You're kidding me. Who?
Night Vultures.
The rival drug attacker was slaughtered and mutilated...
on the 39th street. Let's go.
SHUSTER: Pissant!
Oh.
Where did he go?
Abrasion on the left elbow.
Watering the blood near the body.
The victim was shot, mutilated, and dragged.
There is no consistency of clots and bile stains in caddy magazines.
Set the time of death at 6:00 a.m.
Hi. Hi. Hey, ma'am, how are you?
-Ham, sir. -o, agent
KOREK: Do you smell that? What is going on?
How are you?
-Agen. -Hi.
Oh, sweet Jesus!
God. Oh, my God.
What is that? You have something
What happened?
Shouldn't we call someone?
[Squish]
Aah! Oh, my God! What is this?
What is that? Is that the wiener?
Shouldn't we have someone put it back?
Maggots - very dirty
Maggot Where?
There, in their larval stage.
Maggots take at least eighteen hours--
Wait a minute. Maggots take at least 18 hours of hatching.
Change the time of death from 6:00 p.m. before 12:00
- Good work, agent -Oh. Grr!
Jackpot - one kilo full.
Someone wants to run this up to proof?
Yes, I - I--
Oh.
[Squish]
Ohh! Oh! Aah! Where is it?
Here.
Uhh!
[Sniffing]
[Rem squeal]
here. Good work, agent
- Thank you. -Goodbye.
Oh.
Well, we can't chat all day, right?
So, uh...
Maybe I'll meet you sometime.
[Tires squeal]
[Car alarm sounds]
[Dog barks]
Hi. Hi, poochie Hi. Hi.
What's the problem? What is the problem?
Poochie can't reach water? Not?
Poochie wants water? Poochie is thirsty?
This is it. You are a tough police dog.
Yes, you are. Yes, you. Yes, you.
GOOD. Oh no. Oh no.
Put it. Place it. Place it.
Come on. Give me a coke. Give me cocaine.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Depart. Depart.
[Whimpers]
[laughs]
[Barks]
[Growls]
[Barking]
COMPETITION: Come on. Poochie, come on.
Come on, come on. Poochie.
Proof space - where?
Pissant Agent, there is a group of second-class students...
from criminal criminals league in the auditorium
I want you to give them a few words to law enforcement SHUSTER: Now.
WOMEN: As a special treat, children...
we have a real FBI guy here...
to talk to us about what it feels like...
to become a federal agent
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
[Feedback] Thank you. It's a little hard.
Clapping a little hard
Yes? Question? Question? Do you have a question?
You don't have a search -
You don't You don't You do You don't
It's kind of here. They make pants tighter.
I don't know, Because I don't wear jeans.
Yes! Question?
I have to buy a ship! Isn't that so No?
Question?
God, I'm just for--
[Hyperventilating]
Yes! Do you have a question? Not?
You did You didn't You did You didn't
Oh, no, that's cool. You don't need to do it.
No, you know, just do it yourself I'm here. Are you there. That is cool
[Feedback] Okay, so - yes
Yes, yes, I know.
Who is this weird person?
DARNELL: I don't know.
DA VIS: Take the injection.
[Camera shutter click]
[Photographing]
What are you doing?
They can watch places
Yes I know. That's why I'm disguised.
Ohh!
PETER: Who is that person?
That's Shuster. He is a, uh... male director.
Who is next?
COMPETITION: That's Brick Davis.
Is he a brown man? and muscular thighs?
What?
Who are the two chuckleheads?
That's Cox and Darnell.
LEO: Hey, Paulie, write a card for Cox and Darnell.
PAULIE: Oh, come on, Leo. I absorb it here, you know?
POPS: You're just lazy. Create a card.
Papa, I'm not lazy Me - me...
I don't even understand my reading glasses
Ah, Jesus.
Is there someone else?
Uh...
[Laughter] No.
PETER: I think I saw chicks. Yes, here it is Many good things we do.
PAULIE: [Whistles] I'm a little disturbed.
Now, don't bother, dipshit This is crunch time.
-Sorry. -Hah, pop, relax
OK, next time, I'll take care of the picture.
PAULIE: Alright, I want you to head...
straight for proof space...
so we can't end today bullshit
You understand Understood. Keep the engine running...
because I will enter and immediately come back out...
so you keep running it
[Click]
Hi.
What did you do?
Oh, I brought you something.
Large.
It's just a little something to get you all day [laughs]
It's funny because it's true.
[laughs]
-Thank you. -You are welcome.
-I have to go now. -WELL.
[beep beeps]
[speaks Mandarin]
[Repeats sentences]
Yes, I know.
It's Chinese for "hello".
I spent some time in China alone.
You speak Mandarin, no? It's on your resume.
CORKY: Yes No, I'm actually - I just said it this morning.
I just got thrown with your dialect I was actually taught language...
by upper class families, Su Sussudio.
You think I'm stupid, right?
-No. -Listen, you little punk.
I'm in you I don't know how you got this far...
but you can't bullshit your way through the FBI.
You better see your back. You understand?
-You understand? -Yes. Mm-hmm.
Good.
Come on. Shuster wants to see us.
DA VIS: It's about Night Vulture.
[Seat squeaking]
SHUSTER: this group from skinhead neo-nazi...
is moving black tar heroin for Night Vulture.
They can be those veins takes us to the motherlode -
the Night Vulture itself.
The Night Vulture is number 6 on the most searched list
Pissant.
I want you to enter and buy.
Great!
KOREK: But don't you think? You might, um--
ahem - wasting my talent on something simple?
I mean, why not Cox and Darnell agents?
I mean, they look like really sweet people
SHUSTER: We need pros.
You will do this assignment
That's all.
Lower your pants We will record this cable to your groin Oh, no, we can't do that, but thank you.
-Why not? -I, uh...
very, very sensitive gonads All men in my family do.
My grandfather returned in World War II...
nicknamed "old cotton ball," so...
I don't want to hear it again about your family ball
-WELL. -We will stick it to your chest.
Cox, give me a razor. We will shave it.
Hmm?
SKIN: Let's see what you got today Come on. Man, you Will do five of them.
Let's go, You are a little coward Hurry up, let's go!
[rock music played]
SKINHEAD: You are nothing You suck.
Let's go. Let's go.
[Turning off music]
Howdy!
[gun cocks] What do you want, bitch?
I just thought that I could get some heroin...
and then we can all go out and do some hate crimes.
[Whimpers] Haah!
[Feedback]
-We lost the transmission -Are we coming in?
No. Pissant has been in this situation before.
I'm sure he can handle himself.
[Crying] I just shared with the FBI for, like, two days!
[Sobbing]
SKINHEAD: Take him to the warehouse at dock seven.
[Barking]
You know, bad dogs aren't born, they're made
[giggles]
[Rem squeal]
TWISTED SISTER SINGING: We won't take it
No, we won't accept it
We won't take it
-Ooh! -Ow!
TWISTED SISTER: Again
Oh!
Hey!
SKINHEAD: Ohh!
He must have released himself wire and left with them.
Once you go to static, we enter...
but they have gone
-Sir, you have a telephone -No now.
Sir, it's Agent Pissant.
[Baby talk] Yes.
Hi friends.
[laughs]
SHUSTER: God, Pissant. Do you do this alone?
KOREK: Eichmann... Come here, Eichmann.
Eichmann, it tickles.
[Chattering]
Hey, hey, this is Pissant.
-Hey! -OK!
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Now if you excuse me, I have to go tinkling.
[beep beeps]
[Door buzzing open]
Pissant.
Hi.
Oh. I will just go find you and - and say hi.
[laughs]
Hi.
What did you get?
It has recovered in the apartment--
the only strong evidence we have against Night Vulture.
Fingerprint on it...
but we can't to get make.
Uhh!
[Object destroy]
That's... Night Vulture guy... Phew!
RUSSO: I will do it some young mu kwon
Do you want to join me?
[Sipping]
[Spry]
You don't match the profile from ordinary food
What do you mean?
There is nothing bad. It's really refreshing.
[laughs] Oh.
[Spry]
I only did this FBI thing...
to pay some bills before I get to my real career.
And what is that?
I will become a licensed veterinarian...
and have my own animal hospital.
- How sweet. -Thank you.
Kyah, kyah, kyah!
Mmm!
I will try tang soo do it Ready?
-Yes. -Nim-po!
[Feedback]
[Snorts]
Listen, you don't have to go easy on me.
What?
Look, here it is I'm talking about
Everyone here is afraid to go full contact with me I'm not a barbie doll. Now come on!
Hit me.
417 is in process Let's go.
Oh. Gotcha. I will get my thermos.
RUSSO: Did you not hear it? A 417. Come on.
Oh.
Back off!
RUSSO: Situation?
Vulture night suspects, armed heavily
He has seven hostages in the building - Demands? -None.
-I will take my gun -Wait.
Our Pissant Ace is in the hole.
You know the practice. Take him out.
[Sighs]
I will blow his head! Now back!
SUSPECT: Retreat!
God!
Sorry. Sorry. I just queued for the shot.
Hey, Nash Bridges, You got security.
[Safety click]
[Crowd screaming]
Oh, my dog!
[Bullet bounces]
- [Explosion] - [Whimpers]
Man down!
I will cover you [Corky panting]
Dogs.
What are you doing? This is dead.
[Panting]
Here. Hold this.
What?
This looks like a collapsed esophagus I've seen Dr. Kipper fix one of these before.
Fix what? Who is Dr. Kipper?
Think, Corky, think about it.
Understood. I understand, I understand.
[Blow]
You have an accident, but You will be fine.
[Whimpers]
Now run away. Run together, run together, run together.
[Dog yelping]
That was awesome.
What's amazing
What you just did You just saved the dog's life.
DA VIS: Pissant.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Yes. Sure.
Listen, how do you do it? That's really something.
Yes?
Yes. How are you-- Listen, little bullshit.
You put my life on the phone...
and every other agent out there.
Now, the first chance I get...
I will send you directly to hell, you understand?
Hello, sir.
Pissant, what happened here
sir. Ahem. Not me.
That's the gun. It's all funky.
what the hell are you talking about?
DARNELL: Sir...
I think what Pissant Agent is trying to say...
Is that the perpetrator's gun? is fake
- And he is right Seeing. - [Click]
Pissant, you are a cowboy...
but you have to keep the team up to speed.
We are not familiar with agents...
with enthusiasm like that and attention to detail.
Oh...
I will do my best, sir.
Sir, hostages are safe and accountable.
This clown is not Vulture Night
Should I bring it in?
No, no, no, let Pissant do it. This is the baby.
Uhh! Uhh!
-Uhh! - [Dials]
[line ring]
-Foods and pussies. -Color, hi.
How does Tony's cousin work?
-What do you want? -Do you help Jojo?
I think he is sick.
TONY: Yes, sure, kid. I will fix it for you.
[Squeaks]
Look, kid? All Jojo is awake.
He only needs a new heart.
-How much? -What do you get?
Continue to work well, okay?
I will be amazed again. Goodbye now.
[babbling]
[Turn on the radio] Oh.
MEDLEY AND WARNES SINGING: This will be love, because
I already have
The time of my life
And I have never felt it like this before
This, I swear Is the truth
[Music continues, suspect blabbering]
Sir, can you be a sport...
and open the door for me, please sir?
Ok I understand.
[Suspect kicking the screen]
CONSIDERED: Let me get out of here!
And I will -
Sir, can you please not do that
sir? Please don't do it
Come on. Sir.
Come on. Do not do it.
Come on, sir Hello? Hey.
Look for the truck. Ow! Arm! Arm!
Excuse me. Sir. Hi. How are you?
sir! Please!
SUSPEK: Yee-hoo! Yahoo!
-Well! - [Honks horn]
From the car!
Hey, I understand is a little problem here
KOREK: Hey, ifl can get help...
[Music playing]
Uh, let me get a cup of raisin rum, then, please.
We don't have raisin rum, sir.
All of our tastes are listed on the sign.
Alright, let me...
Give me a cup of rocky roads there, then, please
CORKY: Hello? Please?
Hey, Paulie, come on!
Shut up!
- [Corky shouting over the wire] - [Honks horn]
Alright, just give me a cup from the pistachios there
Signs--
What do you see, pantywaist, huh?
- You suck! - [car horn honking]
You suck, suck, suck!
The key is there.
If you can... turn off the car
-Whoo-hoo! -Whoa!
[Corky whimpers]
Cory, look out!
Lower my car!
Don't put--
Mr.--
[Tires squeal]
Aah!
[Crowd chattering]
What happened with you, idiot?
You almost got us killed What are you, backward? Hah?
-What happened? Are you ok? -I'm all right here?
-Oh, I'm fine -You are okay?
CORRECTION: I am in control. Only a few bender dents.
I'm really in control.
[Starting engine]
What are you doing here?
Alright, get out of the car.
DA VIS: Come on, let's do it. Assume a position.
Ah, come on!
Fight the car.
what's the matter is this all?
PETER: I helped my cousin move.
DA VIS: Alright, boy, Tearing this dago cart apart.
Leave no chairs smudged.
Hold it!
What?
This person just called me a dork.
-No, he doesn't. -Not. Yes, that is so.
-I don't think he did it. -I see - I read his lips.
This person?
[whispers] This is me. Cheerful. Hi.
On the ground, you two
All fours All fours I got a little gift for you.
Sorry I don't have time to wrap it
Now, at least, at least has proof
No, I don't have it.
-Oh, for-- -You don't understand.
I am very close I can feel it.
-Where is it? -I left it at the gym.
Christ, Corky, what if someone finds it?
It's okay! It's in my bag!
This has my name... on it.
PETER: I don't know 'Pops.
The hospital said he was getting worse
They send wet nurses Here, Petey.
I think you mean health mantri.
Oh really? What is it You think, Mr. Educated?
So now I'm a fool, huh?
Let me tell you something, Cheerful.
When you are vegetarian school attracts llamas...
I'm running number for Pops, do you understand me?
- Get out of here! -Outside!
And don't you come back -
Don't come back without the proof, you hear me?
- Alright, I'll go! - [Fall]
Do you know what? Proof! Proof!
Hi, Corky.
Sorry. Sorry.
Looking for this?
I can explain
- Stretch to Shuster. -WELL.
-What about now? -Now it's good.
Pissant, we need you as soon as possible.
-No now. Is busy. -This is a priority.
A large heroin purchase is down in Chinatown.
We think Night Vulture's supply.
No. It's a waste of time.
Return to planetarium like I said.
This is the virtual who is the suspect Night Night.
Sir, I don't know who is your source...
but we've to the planetarium...
and it's on the level.
There's nothing but field trips and old women.
Exactly! The Night Vulture's is a chameleon
That's just the kind of place sadistic boys...
Like who will call home!
Sorry sir. This is directly from Shuster.
We go to Chinatown, and we take the Pissant with us What's up, guys
Seller from Vietnam, buyer from Thailand
Sounds cool. Where do I come from?
You translate.
Perfect.
What did he say?
He said so very good eyes Tell him I said thank you.
What?
What is happening?
Aah!
Someone took me out of here!
Peter! Paul! Get me out of here!
[Corky shouting]
ANITA WARD SINGING: You can ring my bell
Oh yeah, That's what I'm talking about.
My ring, you can ring my bell [Clucking]
- [Spits] - [shots]
[Whining]
Ah, shit. The two of them got away.
Pissant has one.
[Chuckles]
You only reminded him this horse thief he once knew...
and I defend your honor...
and he gets angry.
You have a cool head, man.
Goin 'kneels, crying like a girl
It was fun!
That is something I learned from our friend the possession.
This is the tactic he will use to frustrate his enemies.
We will support you at any time, Pissant.
-Mm-hmm. -Call me Corky.
-My name is Terrence. -Hei.
-I'm Bob. -Hey, Bob.
You want to get it julius orange or what?
We can't. Brick sent us gathering evidence...
in some underground casinos.
Do you know where is Kate, by chance?
He might get a kick out of all this
-He left. -What do you mean, leave?
We are not free to discuss it.
Yes I know. He did not leave a message...
or a little joke or poem, By chance, right?
No. See you later.
See you later
SHUSTER: Pissant! Give me one good reason...
I shouldn't have your butt right now...
to violate the protocol with the Romano file?
Sir, I just want to get it A closer look at the file...
and lend my expertise, sir.
You don't enter and take proof!
You fill X-7-4!
And then you get it approved by the boss! You understand?
Sir, the point is, because I'm very excited...
I forgot to follow the procedure...
but I took full responsibility for my actions Pissant, you are an honest person.
That's a rare quality today through money.
-I admire that. -Oh, what is it ?!
He only confessed to breaking the protocol!
At least he has the courage to admit it We can all take the page out of the Pissant book.
Good afternoon.
Hi.
[striped ring]
[Little girl] Hi. Do you want some cake?
[Sighs] I'm sorry, you guys What's the matter, Corky?
I can't get - sweet Jesus!
[gasps] Ay, Dios m o!
What is he doing here?
That's Esperanza, New nurse, daddy Don't worry about him. He don't speak English
-How do you know my name? -What?
-Warrior. -You said that name again
Hahahaha!
Why are you freakin 'out?
COMPETITION: I'll go, uh, make some...
Strudel toaster for everyone.
Anyone? I assume everyone wants it.
[whispering] What is this? are you here
What are you doing here? And why are you dressing like that
I just came meeting of Girls of America...
and I sponsor one of the girls...
and it's traditional that you wear...
This outfit is at a meeting.
I didn't have time to talk. What are you doing here?
I didn't realize anyone will only be my hand...
a good incognito case, so I made a Shuster...
send me here to collect more evidence.
-what about you -I'm also disguised.
That's very typical! Shuster gave me his word...
that he doesn't want to send a man to cover me No, I am here first. That's why I'm here now.
How can it be Shuster? doesn't say anything
He doesn't know.
Are you disguising without permission or backup?
-It's crazy! -I know. It's crazy, isn't it?
Uh, look, this area is really closed.
You can retreat now.
No. I work hard for this. You retreat
Listen, I don't have time to fight with you, okay
I don't want you to get hurt.
I don't need you to protect me.
-Good. -Well.
PEGGY LEE SINGING: Romeo loves Juliet
Juliet, he feels the same way
When he hugs him around it [whispers] I have to go.
PAULIE: Huh? Hah? I don't believe this nonsense.
What happened?
Get off at the casino, they catch...
some chumps with hidden cameras
Who are they?
PAULIE: A married couple Your little FBI friend
KORON: Cox and Darnell.
Black sweet.
[Spanish accent] Black sweet.
You know, I read this book for my child.
POPS: Now you try to read it.
Continue. I will help you
"The - m-m-mor-morning..."
Very good. Sound it out.
RUSSO: "Death morning..."
POPS: "... ing."
RUSSO: "ing."
Whoa. Where do you think you go?
To the underground casino.
I hear you have very good craps...
and I'm in a bad mood, so... heh heh heh.
-You can't enter there. -Says who?
The woman said beat her up! Understanding?
Oh... yes, sir.
That's a good little bitch.
KORON: Aah! Uhh.
This will take heck of more than that.
3 DOORS DOWN SINGING: I took walking around the world
To ease my troubled mind
I leave my body lying
Somewhere in the sands of time
But I see the world
Hey!
I feel There is nothing I can do
Yes
Ow! Oh! God, my nose!
WOMAN: You are perverted!
-What? - [Spraying]
If you are crazy, then you will Still calling me Superman?
If I'm alive and well, will You be there to hold my hand?
I will take care of you by my side with my super powers Aah! Aah!
[Woman shouting]
Uhh! God!
[Banging on door] WOMEN: Get out!
[Gasping]
Uh! Ha ha ha! Uhh! Uhh!
Ahh. Ahh. Ahh.
-Uhh! -You again.
- [Snarls] -Ooh! Aah!
[Whimpers]
Hmm?
WOMAN: Aah!
-Hmm? - [Neck cracking]
Waaaaah!
HUMAN: Let's introduce him to be shaky.
Get in there
Hey, come on, you guys. Someone will get hurt.
[shouts and shouts]
Sorry, Mr. Romano.
I don't know You are with family.
Ah, Don't let it ab-bout.
You are g-guys just doing your job.
Is there something I can get you
No, b-but if it's okay with you...
m-maybe I can take m-my friend with me
That's another one we owe you, Corky
Yes, what is rubbish.
We should help you Catch Vulture Night.
If you can, don't say the people in the department.
Mum is the word w. W-b-b-b-b-ah!
[gasps]
Psst!
[whispers] Shh! Shut up!
Why are you still here? It's 3:00 in the morning.
RUSSO: I live at home.
That is the informant arranged.
Informant? What informants
Ay!
-De korvato -Heh heh heh.
[Sighs] Soy is a person.
-What? -I don't know what that is.
[Close the door]
You Tomcattin 'bastard!
I don't know You are a male woman.
Ha ha! Yes.
Yes, he stayed here 2 days, You already beat him
I'm thinking about it makes him move on his own...
but you know, I can get another.
Say, Pete.
I haven't seen you with a woman for a long time.
Actually, I don't think I've seen you with a woman.
I just haven't found the right one filly yet, that's all
Do you remember when we were children...
how we watched Christmas specifically about Rudolph...
and how Rudolph knows he is secretly different...
of all other deer?
And then, you know, Rudolph tries to hide it...
but that's it, You know, finally...
makes Rudolph angry and scared And then he met Hermey the Elf, remember?
[high pitched voice] And he - he is not - I am not -
He doesn't like making toys.
And, uh, but that really makes Rudolph...
feel like it's fine to be different.
Do you remember that?
I don't have time for this bullshit Come with me.
[Close the door]
Agent Davis just brought this for my attention Do you want to explain that?
Heh heh It looks a bit like me, isn't it? A little...
That's because you, Judas.
Right on the stomach from the animal
Looks like Mr. McFeely here...
has slept with the enemy Is that right, sir?
He stole evidence for the family all the time.
Well, that won't happen.
I'll make sure of that.
Pissant, is this true?
No, this is some -
This is not me This is postman.
-That's you. -Not this one.
-Yes that is. -Not.
-Yes, that's you -That's not me!
Knock it off, Davis!
DA VIS: Knock it off?
You know, friend of this friend shtick between you two...
really starts to wear thin.
What are you talking about?
DA VIS: You know right what I'm talking about
This Pissant and the Pissant.
"Hey, I have an idea. Let's send Pissant."
Well, I'm very sick about Pissant.
When was the last time You talked about me?
When was the last time You congratulated me...
on hostage negotiation situation?
Or say, "Hey, Davis, bang up the work on the tapping"? Hmm?
It's like I'm not even there.
-That's not true. -That is!
Another day, I wear my badge...
outside from my left collar...
just to see if you pay attention to it Are you aware? No, I have nothing.
I'm sorry. Maybe I'm a little busy.
Yes! Talkin 'about how great Pissant is!
- [Door opens] - [Knock on door]
Hey, Howard. You want to see us Howard?!
What happened to "sir"? This is "Mr. Shuster."
And what is with that ridiculous bond?
It's rocking small fruit cake, isn't it?
-Christ! Calm down, Bata. -It's Agent Davis.
SHUSTER: He is right. Calm down, Bata.
You're right.
I'm sorry... Howard.
That's Agent Shuster!
Oh what? I can't call you with your first name...
Because I'm not a member of a groovy care team?
No, that's because you're a jerk
I don't.
Yes, that is so.
Everyone thinks of you, including your wife
Why do you think he left you?
Now, the job is to move it to Paris.
Bullshit Right now he's in Kennebunkport...
gettin 'pierced by some lobster fishermen.
-Well! -How, easy!
-You are dead! -Easy!
[Shouting]
DA VIS: I will kill you!
[gasps]
-Jesus, Corky, you scared me. -Why are you still here?
I'm not leaving until I get an old man on tape...
talking about murder
Murder? I think we tried to get him...
for gambling or tax avoidance, things like that.
No, it's nothing. We want to get rid of him for life.
[Sighs] See...
this task is complete, okay
-You have to get out of here -No, I'm not finished This is straight from Shuster. You have finished Okay, I did it. I got your proof
-You right? -Yeah, only you know what?
I was thinking about it gave it back
-What? -Abduction?
And - and - and - and murder?
What are you - what are you - what do you think...
that I won't know it?
Corky, I've been involved in my share ofscams...
but I never did it There is no one thing.
That's bullshit. You have to trust me Why? Why do I trust you?
I swear by your eyes I never did those things.
Where did you get this?
That's right-- It's here... on...
I don't know especially where...
but here in sworn testimony.
Pops, check out caldones is wide.
Testimony?
Whose testimony?
Hey, Petey, he got proof!
Good work, kid.
Yes, I know grapes for that
What do you tell, I will get rid of this.
KOREK: Wait a minute.
Not until I understand some answers here...
Because there is a serious charge in this file
Please, Corky, since when did do you care...
about everything you have to do with this family
Corky, let adults talk. Come here.
Now, you do a good job. You have proof...
but you don't belong here, so go home
PAULIE: Oh, yes! We Back in business, fellas.
-Pop is back -I'll drink it!
MEN: Ha ha ha ha!
PETER: Let's talk about...
What are you still doing here?
Don't you have a puppy? for breastfeeding?
I don't go anywhere until I'm fucking ready...
Because I'm sick being your pet dog
Ooh, another sister stands for herself
Ooh! Hey! Ow! Oh!
I am part of this family as one of you.
I gave my life on the phone. I keep getting out of prison.
I pay my contribution.
Now you start showing me a little respect!
PAULIE: Alright!
You are part of this family. Now leave me.
You want to try it with me, are you a small pussy?
Don't touch him!
Pops, you will be excited.
Shut up. I'm happy.
Now leave your brother alone.
Oh, of course, Pops. Take the side You always take sides.
What are you talking about
PAULIE: You sent him to college.
You never sent me to college.
You show the nurse more. Respect for you showing me I saw you teach him how to read!
You never taught me how to read!
That's why I still don't know how to read!
POPS: Don't be silly Of course You know how to read.
I saw you with the magazine all the time--
Penthouse, Swank, Hustler.
Oh, shit.
PAULIE: You remember that - that time...
I was arrested at Tony Roma's...
to expose myself in a woman's room?
I think is a men's room!
And what about Uncle Leo...
sent me to the shop for cardboard marlboros...
and I'm back with - with a box of tampons?
Feminine products
Do you think it's funny, right?
I was upstairs in my room crying
Don't look at me like I'm kind of weird...
because I will tell you all other things
He's a homo.
No, I'm not, Pops.
Huh... I'm not - I like boobies.
Oh, bullshit! You have a collection of top mesh tanks.
You got a poster. Matthew Perry in your bedroom
You get Live Divas on DVD, for Christ's sake.
You are a big fag.
Well, at least I can read label, you're an illiterate person!
Take it back, you loop fruit.
You want me to study you How do you spell "dead people"?
-What about some of these things? -How about this, eh?
Stop it! Just stop it "Ooh, help me, I'm gay."
"Ooh, I can't read."
I don't care how gay you are...
and I don't care How stupid you are.
Just forget it! WELL?
Forget it.
Huh?
- [Sobbing] - [Sobbing]
-I can't read -I'm homo.
Alright. Shhh.
Alright.
[Sighs] Alright, everyone goes out of the room
I need to talk to my father...
alone.
-Actually, I'm sorry. -I'm sorry too.
Cheerful! Look at you!
Control the Takin family.
I never thought I will see today.
I never thought I would do it, between.
You know what you look like now
Your mother.
Your mother is the glue that holds this family together.
You have the same instinct.
I see a lot of him in you.
-Is that why you told me to leave? -You know what?
I told you to go because I love you.
You are not suitable for this business
You were cut for something better
And you prove it.
I just want to be a part of the family...
only in my own words.
You are part of the family.
You are my child For what it's worth, I believe You don't do those things.
And I think I know why they think you are doing
[Clock ticks]
[Sighs]
Peter! Paulie! Come on, quickly! Dad has a heart attack!
Leo, call the doctor!
He left, Leo.
His last words, Leo, he called you
Now is your chance to make your peace
Why is Pissant stealing evidence?
DA VIS: He has been in bed with them since the first day.
I only hope he hasn't killed Russo.
God, I've never been in an attack in ten years.
All right, woman Are we ready for rock and roll?
[Guns cocking]
Look, pop...
but all I want is a shot to run a business.
Sorry I gave you Heart attack, you jerk.
I just want you out of the way.
Oh!
But I swear to God, if you are still alive now...
I will tell the FBI that there is no from the dirt that I say is true
LEO: I swear on my father's name.
POPS: Oldjerk, huh?
[Cocks gun] Sorry, Leo.
Just look for the family.
Cheerful! You set this up?
And now you go to catch me Ha! It was a laugh.
Never call my child pus.
You know, I can't believe it We trust you, Leo
So now you give it lectures on ethics?
Ha! Yes, I know it.
So what are you fed or one of them?
Because?
Because I don't think my father...
suitable for die injail.
So where do I match? into your little plan
I might be illiterate, but I'm not stupid Freeze.
[Gun cocks]
-Who are you? -Brick Davis.
[Shouting]
Freeze! Drop your weapon! Now!
Put them on the ground!
-Drop your weapon! -Drop it!
You lowered the gun!
Put your weapon down!
SHUSTER: Russo, you want to tell me...
what happened here
-Sir, this-- -What's happening?
People who do it only run out of space...
and you stand here in your orange tie...
wondering what is happening
Sir, Corky chased after him real criminals
I know that. Corky is one of us!
[Boing!]
[Boing! Boing!]
[Boing!]
[Boing! Boing!]
Uhh!
The face's facts are better, little one. Your luck has just run out.
What time do I want to tell me, Night Night Vulture?
Good I'll take it
You know, I never thought I will live to see today...
the FBI agent will peddle smack.
Don't act so surprised.
J. Edgar Hoover Usually wear clothes.
Just say why, Brick.
I don't know I'm supposed to be That makes her feel sexy.
Not Hoover, you!
- Time for meetings -What is the meeting?
Meeting between your genitals...
and this knife
-What's happening? -He is Night Vulture.
What? Corky, be careful
KOREA AND RUSSO: Nim... ha!
- Move! -Let's go!
What are you doing?
Brick is Night Vulture.
RUSSO: It's true, sir.
Oh, God, Howard.
Take me away. Oh!
God, Corky. That's two You have given us today.
No sir. That's the two we gave you.
Heh. Well.
Looks like we have more to wait for, huh?
I'm afraid not, Howard. I have other plans.
Come on press the gym.
[ringing bells]
Yay, Corky!
Bravo!
Russo!
Cheerful, You make me very proud of you.
-I love you. -I love you too, dad.
I got an announcement to make.
My son is here, this big dog...
he's a fruit, and I don't care who knows it
Come here, you gay bastard. I love you.
I love you too.
Others, he can't read the stop sign
And I don't have it in another way
Come here, You are freakin 'retard
I love you.
Corky, got out of here before I hit you in the mouth.
Alright, daddy [cheering]
Hey, Corky, good luck with the veterinary business
Oh!
I know you will do it alright.
Dr. Kipper, I will never forget you.
Congratulations. -Thank you.
NAT KING COLE SINGING: "L" is for the way you see me "O" is the only one I see
"V" is very, very extraordinary
"E" even more than that whoever you like can
Love is all that I can give you
Love is more than only game for two
Two love can succeed Take my heart and please don't destroy it Love was made for me and you "L" is for the road You see me
"O" is the only one I see
"V" is very, very extraordinary
"E" even more than that whoever you like can
Love is all that I can give you
Love is more than only game for two
Two love can succeed Take my heart and please don't destroy it
Love was made for me and you