1
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:20,500
[Bridget] Another year,
a brand new diary.
2
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,000
Once again I was summoned,
kicking and screaming,
3
00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:27,200
to my mother's turkey curry buffet,
4
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:31,400
where I've had some of the most
shaming experiences of my life.
5
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:34,100
- [Doorbell]
- Hello, darling.
6
00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:37,200
- Lovely to see you.
- [Magic Moments plays]
7
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:39,500
It was, as usual, crammed full
8
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,600
with some of the most dangerous perverts
in the UK,
9
00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:45,800
disguised as close, personal friends
of my parents.
10
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:47,900
- Hello, Bridget.
- Hello, Una.
11
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,500
- Oh, no, thanks.
- Love the jumper.
12
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:54,200
- I prefer what's underneath it.
- Uncle Geoffrey!
13
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:56,600
- Hello, gorgeous.
- Hello.
14
00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,500
- Hello, darling.
- Hello, Dad. How's it going?
15
00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:02,400
I wish I was dead.
16
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:08,000
[Bridget] But this year,
there was one crucial difference.
17
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,900
- Nice jumper.
- My mother's taste never falters.
18
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:20,800
Never.
19
00:02:23,700 --> 00:02:26,800
[♫ The Sound Of Music]
20
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:28,900
[Birdsong]
21
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:43,000
[Bridget hums along with song]
22
00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:58,500
You always wonder how it's going
to work out at the end of the story.
23
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,000
Maria and Captain Von Trapp,
24
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,000
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,
25
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,100
Mark Darcy and Bridget Jones.
26
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:09,700
I've found my happy ending at last.
27
00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:13,700
And nothing in the world can spoil it.
28
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:16,400
Well, almost nothing.
29
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:19,700
[Man] Bridget Jones,
what the fuck are you doing?
30
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:25,300
- I, I can't see anywhere soft to land.
- How about on your arse?
31
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,100
Bridget, unless you want to get sacked
at 6,000 feet,
32
00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:32,400
you will be on your way
in exactly three seconds.
33
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,300
Three, two, one... cue Bridget.
34
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,100
Skydiving:
35
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:42,000
A dangerous bane to the countryside
and emergency services,
36
00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:45,300
or a safe and exhilarating hobby?
37
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:48,800
Well... let's see, shall we?
38
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:51,400
Go. Jump.
39
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,200
- For Christ’s sakes, go!
- [Screams]
40
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,600
[Shrill scream]
41
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,900
- She's out. Unit Two, you got her?
- [man] We see her.
42
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,700
- Bridget, open the chute.
- [Bridget screams]
43
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,000
- Open it.
- [Bridget screams]
44
00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:10,800
Open your fucking parachute!
45
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,600
[Director]
Pull the thingy or you will die!
46
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,400
[screams]
47
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:20,300
Oh.
48
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:25,000
[Bridget] Honestly,
you forget just one teeny, weeny detail
49
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,500
and everyone treats you like an idiot.
50
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:33,400
♫ [Carly Simon] Nobody does it better
51
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:40,600
♫ Makes me feel sad for the rest
52
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:45,400
♫ Nobody does it
53
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:50,100
♫ Half as good as you
54
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,700
♫ Baby, baby
55
00:04:53,500 --> 00:05:00,900
♫ Darling, you're the best
56
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,300
♫ Baby, you're the best...
57
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,700
[Bridget] Where was I?
Oh, yes... Mark Darcy.
58
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:13,600
The question is: What happens
after you walk off into the sunset?
59
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,800
[Director] Bridget?
Earth to Bridget Sodding Jones.
60
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:21,600
- [Pigs snort]
- [Bridget screams]
61
00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:27,400
[Bridget groans]
62
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:32,600
[Director] Bridget, you're on.
You're live.
63
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:37,200
Well, this is Bridget Jones
for Sit Up Britain,
64
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,900
reporting to you
from a big vat of excrement.
65
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,200
- [Pigs snort]
- [Bridget yelps]
66
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:47,000
- [Squelching]
- Give me a close-up of the porker.
67
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,800
[♫ Minnie Ripperton: Loving You]
68
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,600
[Bridget] Who cares about
the odd professional hiccup?
69
00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:00,200
I've been in a functional relationship
70
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:03,500
with an adult male
for six wonderful weeks,
71
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:07,400
four fabulous days
and seven precious hours.
72
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:13,000
Or to put it another way,
71 ecstatic shags.
73
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,900
He's given up being snooty,
and I've given up smoking.
74
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:23,300
-♫ Loving you...
- Well, he thinks I have anyway,
75
00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:25,700
which is practically the same thing.
76
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,100
?... a dream come true...
77
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,200
[Bridget] Mark Darcy is perfect.
78
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:34,900
Not a fuckwit, alcoholic, workaholic,
pervert or megalomaniac,
79
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,000
but total sex god
and human rights lawyer.
80
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:41,000
He is a miracle, really.
81
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,700
- Bridget, will you stop?
- [Record scratches]
82
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,600
Stop staring at me.
Go and find something to do.
83
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,500
Sorry.
84
00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:53,000
[Song starts up again]
♫ La la la la la...
85
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:57,000
[Bridget] So, as you can see,
the incredible truth is
86
00:06:57,300 --> 00:07:00,200
the wilderness years are over.
87
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:04,700
Bridget Jones is a love pariah no more.
88
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:08,700
[Bell]
89
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:11,000
Morning, Bridget. Late again.
90
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,500
[Sighs] Yes. Sorry.
91
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,400
I was in bed with my boyfriend.
92
00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,900
He's a human rights lawyer, you know.
93
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,000
Yes, we know.
94
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,800
I cannot believe how fantastic
shagging was last night.
95
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:29,600
Maybe I'll ring him.
96
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:31,500
No, no...
97
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:35,700
Obviously it's important to tell one's
boyfriend how nice he looks naked,
98
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:39,500
but I have crucial,
Pulitzer Prize winning journalism to do.
99
00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:42,900
[Speed dialing, ringing]
100
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,100
[Mark] Hello?
101
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,600
It's me. Just wondered how you are.
102
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,700
I'm fine, thanks.
Everything all right with you?
103
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,000
[Whispering] Fine, though, er...
104
00:07:56,700 --> 00:08:00,600
I've just had a rather graphic
shag flashback.
105
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:05,600
And you do have
a genuinely gorgeous bottom.
106
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,800
Thank you.
107
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:11,700
I'm with the Mexican ambassador,
the head of Amnesty International
108
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,900
and the Undersecretary
for Trade and Industry.
109
00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:18,100
And you're on speakerphone.
110
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,600
Oh. Right, well...
111
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:25,300
I'm quite busy
with important stuff too...
112
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:29,800
Bridget, we're waiting for that tape
about Tom, the happy hamster.
113
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:33,600
- [Mark] I'll call when I've finished.
- Excellent.
114
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:37,200
And Richard wants to see you
about that crap skydiving report.
115
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,700
[Whispers] Oh, fuck.
116
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:45,000
Oh, dear. Is this the end of my career?
117
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,900
No, it can't be.
118
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:52,900
I will fight this. I am a journalist of
the highest standards and integrity.
119
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,900
[Tape whirs]
120
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:04,000
[On tape] This is Bridget Jones
reporting from a big vat of excrement.
121
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,800
Look, I never said I could skydive
and I'm terrified of heights,
122
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:12,600
- so it was really hard to concentrate.
- Be quiet. They loved it upstairs.
123
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:16,700
Loved it. And they want us to come up
with another regular spot for you.
124
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:19,900
[Laughs] Oh, my God. That's...
125
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,100
- I won't let you down, Richard.
- Precisely.
126
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:27,200
...my friends’ motto was "When in Rome,
do as many Romans as you can. "
127
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:32,100
But if your tastes are marginally
more highbrow, I also have tips.
128
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:35,300
Forget the Forum,
definitely forget the Coliseum,
129
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:38,100
no fun now they can't
slaughter Christians.
130
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:43,000
Forget the Sistine Chapel, first example
of a poof interior designer gone mad...
131
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:47,700
What is Daniel Cleaver
doing on the television?
132
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:51,300
It's called The Smooth Guide.
"Making culture bearable".
133
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:56,300
...equally serene and equally beautiful
Professore Giovana Dabrache.
134
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,800
Who is about to show me her diptych.
135
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:01,200
Same old creep. [chuckles]
136
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,300
Oh. Shame.
137
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,100
He always speaks very warmly of you.
138
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,900
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
139
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:10,600
How about we go out
for a bite to eat tonight?
140
00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:13,900
Oh. Can’t.
I have to go out with my boyfriend.
141
00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:16,200
- He's a human rights lawyer.
- I know.
142
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:18,500
I'm meeting him for a romantic supper.
143
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,100
- [Mobile rings]
- Oh.
144
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,300
- Bridget Jones.
- Bridget, it's Mark.
145
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,300
Oh. I was just talking about you.
146
00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:29,300
I'm running late.
Do you want me to cancel?
147
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:32,300
- Oh. No, that's fine.
- Are you sure?
148
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,700
Be as late as you like.
149
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:39,900
Chuck him, while you're not pregnant
with his unwanted child.
150
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,900
I only said he was working late.
151
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,400
In one hour, he'll be coming
in his secretary's mouth
152
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:48,300
while he rings to say
what he wants for starters.
153
00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:51,700
[Bridget] Friends spend years
finding you a boyfriend,
154
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,900
then instantly tell you to dump him.
155
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:57,500
Even if he isn't shagging her already,
he's thinking about it.
156
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,800
A man dating a woman with large breasts
will bed one with small breasts.
157
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,000
Rubbish. Mark's above all that nonsense.
158
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:08,000
Jellyfisher alert. Jellyfisher alert.
159
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:14,100
[Bridget] Janey Osborne.
Talking to her is like swimming in a sea
160
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:17,600
and being stung repeatedly
by an enormous jellyfish.
161
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:22,500
Bridget. How's it going
with that divine man of yours?
162
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,600
You must be so pleased
to have a boyfriend at last.
163
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,800
First jellyfish of the evening.
164
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,300
Is he taking you
to the Law Council Dinner?
165
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:32,800
Oh. Well, I'm sure he's just forgotten.
166
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,400
Better start slimming into that dress.
167
00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:39,800
He's given you the night off
to cheer up your single friends. Sweet.
168
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:44,800
Actually, he's got a big case on, trying
to get everyone in Mexico out of prison.
169
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,900
We're meeting for a very late
romantic dinner.
170
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,500
Really? That's so odd,
171
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:54,400
'cause I saw him an hour ago going
into his house with Rebecca Gillies.
172
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,800
She's only 22.
She's got legs up to here.
173
00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:00,300
And Daddy owns half of Australia.
174
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,700
See ya, babes.
175
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:12,100
Who is Rebecca Gillies? What's she doing
going into my boyfriend's house?
176
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:15,700
Where he never asks me.
And with legs up to here?
177
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:19,600
- My legs only come up to there.
- [Jude] You have fine legs, Bridget.
178
00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:21,800
Climber’s legs.
179
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:24,700
I say go over there and ask him,
straight out,
180
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,800
are you or are you not
sleeping with Rebecca Gillies?
181
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:31,900
- [Shazzer] If he says...
- I won't dignify that with an answer...
182
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:34,200
Then you know he's shagging her.
183
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:38,600
♫ All that I have
is all that you've given...
184
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:43,000
[Bridget] It's all about confidence and
trust. Mark would never betray me.
185
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:46,600
Everything will be lovely
and we'll have sex in the kitchen.
186
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,800
- Oh, God.
- [Woman inside] I'm coming.
187
00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:53,500
Oh, God! What is that?
188
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,200
[Woman] Two seconds,
I'll be straight down.
189
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:58,400
Who is that?
190
00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:01,200
?... I find you lied
191
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:04,600
♫ And I can't believe it's true
192
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:10,700
♫ Wrapped in her arms
I see you across the street
193
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:13,400
♫ I see you across the street
194
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:19,800
♫ And I can't help but wonder
If she knows what's going on
195
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:26,500
♫ You talk of love
But don't know how it feels
196
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,600
♫ When you realize
197
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:35,200
♫ You're not the only one
198
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:37,100
[Mark] Let's get on with it.
199
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,400
?... oh, you better stop
200
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:43,000
-♫ Stop
-♫ Before
201
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,900
♫ You tear me all apart
202
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,100
♫ You better stop
203
00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:51,300
-♫ Stop...
- You are a very demanding man.
204
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:54,600
-?... you go and break my heart...
- [Bridget yelps]
205
00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:01,800
[Chuckles] Bridget Jones.
206
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:04,100
No, I'm Bridget Jones.
207
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,100
- [Chuckles] That's what I meant.
- You must be...
208
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,600
Rebecca Gillies. I've been
so looking forward to meeting you
209
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,000
- after everything Mark's told me.
- Why? What's he said?
210
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,200
- Where is Mark?
- Actually, er...
211
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:20,200
- [Mark] Becky, who is it?
- Becky?
212
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,000
- Right.
- Great.
213
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,900
- Right...
- Bridget.
214
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,300
Hello, Mark.
215
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,700
[Laughs nervously] Hello...
216
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,800
lawyers who work with Mark.
217
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,200
[All] Good evening.
218
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,300
Everything under control, I see.
219
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:50,100
Um... Excellent graph.
220
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,400
- Lovely legs.
- Thank you.
221
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,700
[Lawyers chat]
222
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,000
I am so sorry.
223
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:07,800
I thought...
Oh, I don't know what I thought.
224
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:10,000
Now you're really angry with me.
225
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,200
- No, I'm not.
- It's OK, you can say if you are.
226
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,700
- It's not the end of the world.
- I'll get you a glass of wine.
227
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,600
The thing is I ran into Janey Osborne,
228
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:25,800
who said she'd just seen you
with this girl, with really long legs,
229
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:30,200
and Shazzer and Jude said
I should get over here straightaway.
230
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:34,100
Following the orders of the dating
war command, you executed a raid.
231
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:37,200
- You are angry.
- I'm not, just disappointed.
232
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,900
Disappointed?
Oh, God, that's worse than angry.
233
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,700
I'm just disappointed
I can't take you home this instant.
234
00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:52,200
Oh. [chuckles]
What about all those lawyers?
235
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:56,500
Oh, plenty of time to butter them up
at the Law Council Dinner next Friday.
236
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:08,100
Don't want to go, do you?
237
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,000
I'd love to.
238
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,600
Oh, stupid Bridget, stupid friends.
239
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:21,400
Wonderful, loyal Mark Darcy...
240
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,600
...who loves me just the way I am.
241
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,200
[Birdsong]
242
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:50,400
[Bridget pants]
243
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,800
- [Mark] What are you doing?
- Getting dressed.
244
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,500
Why are you dancing around in that tent?
245
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:04,200
[Sighs] Because I don't want you to see
any of my wobbly bits.
246
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:08,300
That's pointless, because I have
a very high regard for your wobbly bits
247
00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:10,600
in all circumstances.
248
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:12,800
- Really?
- Absolutely.
249
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,800
I think it's high time
we had another look.
250
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:18,900
♫ Yeah
251
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:22,400
♫ Are you digging on me?
252
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,300
♫ Yeah
253
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,800
♫ I'm digging on you, now, baby
254
00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:29,300
♫ Yeah
255
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,800
♫ Do you want a little bit of my love?
256
00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:34,100
♫ Yeah...
257
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,900
[Bridget]
He really is very, very, very nice.
258
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,300
♫ All the time I knew
259
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,200
♫ That you loved me
260
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,800
♫ And you promised me...
261
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:48,000
I miss you too.
262
00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:53,100
♫ That you would be my only man
263
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:54,700
♫ Yeah
264
00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:58,200
♫ Are you digging on me?
265
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,100
[Bridget] I've never been happier
in my entire life.
266
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:05,600
However, must not obsess or fantasize.
267
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,300
Bridget Darcy.
268
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:11,500
Mrs. Darcy.
269
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,800
Mr. and Mrs. Darcy.
270
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:16,400
Lord and Lady Darcy.
271
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:22,100
Wonder what Mark Darcy
would be like as a father.
272
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,700
To his children, I mean, not to me.
273
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:27,700
That would be a weird,
Oedipus-like thought.
274
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,900
At last, life is on track.
275
00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:34,700
Bridget Jones: Fiancée, wife...
276
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:36,300
mother.
277
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,500
Bugger.
278
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:42,200
[Man] Ever fancied doing it in the dark
with a total stranger?
279
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,500
All right, perhaps not a total stranger.
280
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:55,100
Back off, Cleaver, or I'll report you
to a sexual harassment tribunal.
281
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:56,900
I'm a serious journalist.
282
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,400
Is that your most serious skirt, Jones?
283
00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:01,100
Oh...
284
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,200
Do you like it?
285
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,700
I thought you hated television.
286
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,100
I hate watching television.
Being on it is... Hello there.
287
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,300
...entirely different.
288
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:15,400
Daniel, thought the Madrid piece
was outstanding, really original.
289
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:19,500
Cheers, Jeremy. Appreciate that.
We had to work really hard on that one.
290
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:22,900
Tosser. Talking of which,
how is Mark Darcy?
291
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,500
- You still...?
- Yes, I am.
292
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,100
And I intend to be for a very long time.
293
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:32,900
Good. You know what a fan I am
of any woman married to Mark Darcy.
294
00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:36,400
- That's not funny.
- Seriously, though, Jones,
295
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,300
speaking purely unselfishly,
I worry about you.
296
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,900
You do know that it's a fact that
most lawyer's wives die of boredom?
297
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:48,200
And what about you?
Still shagging anything that moves?
298
00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:51,700
As a matter of fact, no.
No shagging whatsoever.
299
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,000
I'm in shag therapy.
300
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:58,300
It turns out I have a problem. I go
to meetings, talk about my feelings.
301
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:00,600
Hug people who smell.
302
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,400
- I don't believe you.
- I'm trying...
303
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,900
...to be a better man, Bridge,
304
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:09,000
so that the next time
a better woman comes along,
305
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,100
I won't make a pig's ear of it.
306
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,300
Daniel. Meeting?
307
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,000
Yeah, yeah. Thanks.
308
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,700
Very good hair, Jones.
309
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,700
By the way, um, you're not free
for dinner tonight, are you?
310
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,600
No, I'm not.
I'm going to the Law Council Dinner.
311
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,200
It's a very important evening.
312
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,100
[♫ Kylie Minogue:
Can't Get You Out Of My Head]
313
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,100
I can't wear that.
314
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:44,400
Bridge, do you want to get married and
have babies before you become barren?
315
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:45,800
Trust me...
316
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:49,800
[Bridget] Magda: My only grown-up
friend. Married to Mark's partner.
317
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,900
She actually got engaged
on the night of the Law Council Dinner.
318
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,100
Try it with the dress.
319
00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:57,600
Oh, my God!
320
00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:01,700
Remember, we are trying to reduce
your body size by 15 per cent.
321
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,200
You hold the front, I'll hold the back.
One, two, three...
322
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,800
[Bridget whimpers]
323
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,700
- [Bridget shrieks]
- What's going on in there?
324
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:13,500
Not too bad, actually.
325
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:17,100
Tra-la!
326
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,300
Fantastic.
327
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,700
Right, let us begin.
328
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:27,000
I am going to make you into a princess.
329
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:28,400
Goody.
330
00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:32,200
[Bridget] Nothing like being
in the hands of a total genius.
331
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,800
[Whooshing]
332
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:36,800
Wow.
333
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:42,700
- [Jude on phone] Whatever you do...
- Bugger it.
334
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,900
...don't iron your hair.
335
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,000
[Jude] It's a lot worse than I thought.
336
00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:50,200
We could flatten it with Brylcreem.
337
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,700
What about a wig? Lawyers love wigs.
338
00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:57,200
- I preferred you in the gold.
- No, whatever you do, not the gold.
339
00:21:57,500 --> 00:22:02,100
Great. I'm late with mad hair and can
barely breathe in scary knickers.
340
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,900
♫ La la la
La la la la la...
341
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,700
[Bridget] Oh, God. I'm very worried.
342
00:22:08,900 --> 00:22:13,800
What if someone says "Bridget Jones,
get out of here, you are ridiculous"?
343
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,800
Stop it.
344
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:21,100
The most important thing, of course,
is to look absolutely wonderful
345
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:24,100
and make a magnificent entrance.
346
00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:27,500
♫ I just can't get you out of my head...
347
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,900
[chatter]
348
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:36,000
[Violins]
349
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,500
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
350
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:44,000
- Hello.
- I think you should go to the ladies.
351
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,900
But I went before I left home.
352
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,500
Trust me on this one.
353
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:51,900
[Gasps] Oh.
354
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,100
Not good.
355
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,100
[Thinks]
All right, tiny make-up mistake,
356
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:03,200
but I always have wit and conversation
to fall back on.
357
00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:14,400
Thank you.
358
00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:18,400
- Bridget.
- Hello.
359
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,800
Derek, Horatio, Camilla.
360
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:25,100
- Horatio?
- Yes, Horatio.
361
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:29,000
Horatio was just saying
he's totally against charitable giving.
362
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,300
[Laughs]
363
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,900
- What?
- Well, obviously you don't mean it.
364
00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:39,600
Absolutely. Do you think it's helpful
to give a beggar fifty pence?
365
00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:42,800
- Maybe he's just hungry.
- Don't be so naive.
366
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,900
The people you see outside the tube
every day are there by choice.
367
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,000
- End of story.
- Oh, no, it's not.
368
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,900
Some people
have terrible personal problems,
369
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:57,900
and other people might have lost their
family in some tragic ferry disaster.
370
00:23:58,300 --> 00:24:01,800
And some people are just plain hopeless.
371
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:06,800
Honestly, this is the sort of rubbish
you'd expect from fat, balding
372
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:13,000
Tory, Home Counties,
upper-middle-class twits.
373
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:14,400
[Music stops]
374
00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:18,500
- [Chatter resumes]
- [Laughs uneasily]
375
00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:23,000
[Violins, chatter]
376
00:24:25,100 --> 00:24:27,600
[Man] Yeah, very good.
Tested my resolve.
377
00:24:32,500 --> 00:24:34,000
How did I do?
378
00:24:34,300 --> 00:24:37,000
You seem to have made
quite an impression.
379
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,000
I've put you next to Giles Benwick.
380
00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:43,600
- Oh, I'm not sitting next to you?
- No. He's terribly nice,
381
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:47,400
but his wife's just run off
with one of the partners.
382
00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:50,400
He probably won't mention it,
but you should know.
383
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,500
I always knew she was out of my league.
384
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:59,600
You see, there's the high-fliers,
like Annabel and Mark Darcy
385
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:04,600
and there's the gorgeous girls,
like Rebecca there
386
00:25:04,900 --> 00:25:07,300
and there's the rest of us.
387
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,200
Like you and me, you mean?
388
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,400
Absolutely.
389
00:25:14,700 --> 00:25:17,700
I mean, look at the state of us.
390
00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:23,200
You and me stumbled into the VIP room
by mistake
391
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:27,000
and it's only a matter of moments
before they show us the door.
392
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,600
[Pounding]
393
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:38,300
My lords, ladies and gentlemen,
let the quiz begin.
394
00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:42,600
[Laughs] Oh, goody. I love quizzes.
395
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:47,000
All those years of playing
Trivial Pursuits are about to pay off.
396
00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:52,600
Now I want to see your hands
poised over those bells. Ready?
397
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,500
Here we go. What are something
called "customary freeholds"?
398
00:25:56,900 --> 00:26:00,000
- [Bell]
- [Man] Superior copyhold.
399
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,400
[Speaker] Yes.
400
00:26:01,700 --> 00:26:04,300
What is the correct grace
used in the Inner Temple
401
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:07,900
for the second mooting night
of Michaelmas term?
402
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:12,200
- [Bell]
- [Man] Amas bibendo... fructis.
403
00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:15,600
Jolly good.
What is an overreaching conveyance?
404
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,100
What is rack-rent?
When was breach of promise abolished?
405
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,300
Define "damnum sentit dominus".
406
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:26,500
Translate "reddendo singula singulis"
into Ancient Greek.
407
00:26:26,900 --> 00:26:29,000
I believe this is the answer.
408
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:30,600
[Bell]
409
00:26:30,900 --> 00:26:34,500
Hippodamoi credemnon louestai.
410
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,800
- [Speaker] Absolutely correct.
- [Applause]
411
00:26:41,900 --> 00:26:45,500
[Speaker] Now, for our final
and deciding round,
412
00:26:45,900 --> 00:26:49,300
the category is contemporary culture.
413
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,000
[Murmuring]
414
00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:54,500
Who did the design
for Princess Diana's wedding dress?
415
00:26:55,700 --> 00:26:58,100
- [Bell]
- The Emmanuels.
416
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,700
- Correct.
- Excellent, Bridget.
417
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,900
Name the character in Footballers' Wives
418
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:09,700
who, in one memorable episode,
set fire to her own breasts.
419
00:27:10,100 --> 00:27:11,400
- [Bell]
- Chardonnay.
420
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,500
- [Speaker] Correct.
- [Applause]
421
00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:18,800
At this point,
there are only two tables in contention
422
00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:21,500
and only one question left.
423
00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:27,000
What was the name of Madonna's
first UK single?
424
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,700
- [Bell]
- [Bridget quietly] Lucky Star.
425
00:27:29,900 --> 00:27:33,000
- [Speaker] Sorry, I didn't quite hear.
- Are you sure?
426
00:27:33,300 --> 00:27:36,200
- Wasn't it Holiday?
- No, everyone thinks it is,
427
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:37,700
but it's not.
428
00:27:37,900 --> 00:27:40,800
My entire life has been leading up
to this very moment.
429
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:45,100
Take that knife, slice off my head
and boil it if I'm wrong.
430
00:27:46,300 --> 00:27:49,000
The correct answer is Lucky Star.
431
00:27:51,300 --> 00:27:53,500
- No.
- [Groans of disappointment]
432
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,500
- The correct answer is...
- Is it Holiday?
433
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,600
- [Speaker] Holiday, indeed, yes.
- [Applause]
434
00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:06,600
[Speaker] The winners of
the 42nd Annual Law Council Quiz are...
435
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,000
the Legal Eagles.
436
00:28:09,300 --> 00:28:11,200
[Cheering]
437
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,800
- Lovely to see you, Bridget.
- Oh, thanks, Rebecca.
438
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,100
Good night.
439
00:28:36,300 --> 00:28:37,700
[Horn]
440
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,500
[Bridget]
Why didn't you speak to me all night?
441
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,000
[Mark]
That's the point of those dinners.
442
00:28:43,300 --> 00:28:46,800
But you talked to Rebecca.
And you talked to Horatio.
443
00:28:49,300 --> 00:28:51,300
I'll never fit in with your friends.
444
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,500
Not if you go on calling everyone
"balding, upper-middle-class twits".
445
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,900
Well, they were balding,
upper-middle-class twits.
446
00:28:59,300 --> 00:29:01,300
Except for the ones who had hair.
447
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:05,700
I suppose you agree with them
that poor people deserve to be poor?
448
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,900
Don't be ridiculous.
449
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,700
- So now I'm ridiculous?
- Yes, tonight you were a little.
450
00:29:12,100 --> 00:29:14,400
Well, tonight you were an arrogant arse.
451
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,900
I think I may have
made a mistake inviting you
452
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,600
and your folding underpants
into my life.
453
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,500
Good night.
454
00:29:31,700 --> 00:29:33,800
If you had asked me tonight,
455
00:29:34,500 --> 00:29:36,900
I'd have said no, anyway.
456
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,200
Asked you what?
457
00:29:41,500 --> 00:29:44,000
- Bridget?
- [Sirens nearby]
458
00:29:44,300 --> 00:29:46,200
Asked you what?
459
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,900
[Bridget] Oh, God, I've done it.
460
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,200
I've gone and done it.
461
00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:06,400
One minute, you're closer to someone
than anyone in the whole world,
462
00:30:06,700 --> 00:30:09,600
next minute,
you're never going to see them again.
463
00:30:20,900 --> 00:30:22,600
[Beeps]
464
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,500
[Rings]
465
00:30:28,500 --> 00:30:32,300
[Mark] If you have a message for
Mark Darcy, please speak after the tone.
466
00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:33,700
[Beep]
467
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:38,000
Hello, it's me.
I'm really, really sorry...
468
00:30:38,300 --> 00:30:39,800
[buzzer]
469
00:30:40,100 --> 00:30:42,100
Sorry, it's the door.
470
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,900
Don't go away, I have something
really, really important to say.
471
00:30:54,900 --> 00:30:56,100
[Buzzer]
472
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,500
- Yes, who is it?
- [Mark] It's me.
473
00:30:59,700 --> 00:31:02,400
- Mark.
- Oh, right.
474
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:04,700
Er, just a moment.
475
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,700
I'm on the phone.
476
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,700
[Alarm]
477
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,300
[Laughs] You're outside.
478
00:31:14,500 --> 00:31:16,400
Look, er...
479
00:31:17,300 --> 00:31:19,200
I'll ring you later.
480
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:24,100
Unless you've come to chuck me
once and for all.
481
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,500
In which case,
482
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:30,800
bye and thank you,
and... sorry.
483
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:32,600
[Buzzer]
484
00:31:32,900 --> 00:31:34,900
Oh, God, please don't chuck me.
485
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,700
If you have chucked me,
please change your mind,
486
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,000
I'll behave much better in future.
487
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,600
- [Buzzer]
- On the other hand, if you haven't,
488
00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:46,300
please behave better
next time we go out. Stuck-up snob.
489
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:48,200
[Beep]
490
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,300
What do you want?
491
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:58,400
I'd like to come up.
You are, after all, my girlfriend.
492
00:31:58,700 --> 00:32:01,800
Even though I shouted at you
and called you an arrogant arse?
493
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:05,400
Unfortunately, yes.
You see, the problematic thing is...
494
00:32:06,700 --> 00:32:08,600
I love you.
495
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,000
W-what?
496
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,800
- I said I love you.
- I'm sorry, I missed that again.
497
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,100
I said I love you, for God's sake!
498
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:30,200
[All jeer]
499
00:32:33,500 --> 00:32:36,100
All right, no need to shout.
500
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,400
I'll come down and let you in.
501
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,600
[All cheer]
502
00:32:49,900 --> 00:32:52,300
You might be needing this in the future.
503
00:33:00,700 --> 00:33:02,700
He said he loves me.
504
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,800
- [Tom] He said he loves you?
- He said he loves me.
505
00:33:07,100 --> 00:33:10,800
- Right, where is he now?
- [Whispers] He's in the bedroom.
506
00:33:12,300 --> 00:33:14,200
Go back in there, Bridge,
507
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:18,400
and whatever you do,
act completely nonchalant.
508
00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:26,000
Bridget, you're staring at me again.
509
00:33:26,900 --> 00:33:28,400
Sorry.
510
00:33:30,100 --> 00:33:33,300
Listen, I know this evening
didn't go exactly as planned,
511
00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:39,100
but there was a very important question
I wanted to ask you tonight.
512
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,600
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
513
00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:46,400
[Takes deep breath]
514
00:33:46,700 --> 00:33:49,900
I've actually been meaning
to ask this for quite some time.
515
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,900
I've just never really found
the right way to put it.
516
00:33:58,700 --> 00:34:00,600
Darling Bridget...
517
00:34:03,300 --> 00:34:05,000
...would you...
518
00:34:06,300 --> 00:34:08,700
...like to go on a skiing mini-break?
519
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:14,800
Yes!
520
00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:20,200
♫ What the world...
521
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,900
[Bridget] This is not just a mini-break.
522
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:27,300
This is a holiday in heaven.
523
00:34:29,700 --> 00:34:33,600
Told a tiny lie about being
an extremely experienced skier.
524
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,400
But, honestly, how hard can it be?
525
00:34:38,500 --> 00:34:40,600
- Ah.
- Shall we?
526
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:50,000
[Bridget[
I know I'm going to like skiing a lot.
527
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,900
Very romantic, very relaxing.
528
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,200
- Bar going up.
- No. What? Why?
529
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,100
[Bridget whimpers]
530
00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:04,300
Um...
531
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,400
Er...
532
00:35:06,700 --> 00:35:08,600
Oh. Oh, God.
533
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:10,400
[Whimpers]
534
00:35:11,700 --> 00:35:13,400
Oh, God. Oh.
535
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:16,500
[Groans]
536
00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:20,200
Ah.
537
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:30,900
[Screams]
538
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,700
Bridget.
539
00:35:37,900 --> 00:35:41,200
Rebecca. What are you doing here?
540
00:35:41,500 --> 00:35:44,800
- Didn't Mark tell you we were coming?
- No, he didn't.
541
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,100
It was me who recommended the place.
542
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,000
- I've been coming since I was 11.
- Really?
543
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:51,900
[Thinks] Three whole years.
544
00:35:52,100 --> 00:35:54,200
Come on, up you get.
545
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:56,100
Come on.
546
00:35:57,100 --> 00:35:59,400
- There you go.
- Are you all right?
547
00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:02,400
Yes, fine, thanks.
548
00:36:02,700 --> 00:36:04,900
- You sure?
- Why is Rebecca here?
549
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:08,300
Oh, God. Well, I mentioned
that we were coming
550
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:12,500
and she said why didn't they come too,
and I couldn't say no, could I?
551
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,200
Come on, you two, let's crack on,
shall we?
552
00:36:16,100 --> 00:36:19,300
Actually, I might just sit this one out.
You head on.
553
00:36:19,700 --> 00:36:22,000
- See you down there.
- You sure?
554
00:36:22,300 --> 00:36:24,400
Absolutely. I'll be fine in a minute.
555
00:36:24,700 --> 00:36:27,100
Right, I'll see you at base camp, then.
556
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:33,700
[Thinks] Bastard.
I can't believe he's left me.
557
00:36:37,700 --> 00:36:38,800
Ooh.
558
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:48,400
Oooh.
559
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:03,400
[Thinks] So, romantic getaway
has turned into lawyer's reunion.
560
00:37:03,700 --> 00:37:05,200
Oooh.
561
00:37:05,300 --> 00:37:08,300
I can't believe
we're already into group holidays
562
00:37:08,700 --> 00:37:11,800
after only eight weeks
of total, undisturbed sex.
563
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,500
Wait a minute...
564
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,100
No. Eight weeks?
565
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:19,700
It couldn't be, could it?
566
00:37:19,900 --> 00:37:22,000
Totally undisturbed...
567
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:25,400
Oh, God. I'm pregnant.
568
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,100
[Whines]
569
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:30,000
[Screams]
570
00:37:30,300 --> 00:37:32,300
And going to die!
571
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,300
[cheering]
572
00:37:38,900 --> 00:37:40,300
[Screams]
573
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:49,600
[Screams] Oh, my God!
574
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:51,900
I can't see!
575
00:37:52,100 --> 00:37:54,200
[Screams] Big bump!
576
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,400
Get out of the way!
577
00:37:56,700 --> 00:37:58,600
[Screams]
578
00:37:59,700 --> 00:38:02,700
Who's this? An eccentric
but exhilarating performance
579
00:38:02,900 --> 00:38:04,000
from a total unknown,
580
00:38:04,300 --> 00:38:07,500
who's now solidly in position
for the bronze.
581
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,900
- [Screams]
- [Bell clangs]
582
00:38:21,100 --> 00:38:22,800
[Whines]
583
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:35,200
I would like a pregnancy test, please.
584
00:38:35,900 --> 00:38:38,100
A pregnancy test.
585
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:42,100
Ich bien, er, possibly...
586
00:38:42,300 --> 00:38:44,000
mit baby.
587
00:38:45,300 --> 00:38:47,100
Er...
588
00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:51,400
Kinder! I am on back...
589
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:53,900
and he, er...
590
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,900
maken ze lieben.
Er, with me.
591
00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:01,200
[German] She's pregnant!
592
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,500
Oh, no! No, no, not pregnant.
593
00:39:06,500 --> 00:39:08,300
[German] She's bloated.
594
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:10,400
- Condom?
- Nein. Nein, nein.
595
00:39:10,700 --> 00:39:13,500
Maybe like this, but maybe like this.
596
00:39:14,700 --> 00:39:17,300
[German]
I think her problem is psychological.
597
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,100
[German] There is nothing
a pill can do to help her.
598
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:23,000
I'm a girl and I met a boy.
599
00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:26,500
Fraulein, and I met frau... boy.
600
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:31,500
And possibly now mit baby, uh-huh?
601
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,500
Right, moment of truth awaits.
602
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,700
What if I am pregnant?
603
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:45,900
I must try not to get hopes up too high.
604
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:49,100
Boyfriend and baby seems just too lucky.
605
00:39:49,500 --> 00:39:52,600
Bridget? I have been looking
everywhere for you.
606
00:39:52,900 --> 00:39:56,800
I thought you'd broken a leg
or something... Oh, God.
607
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:04,900
- You're not...?
- I might be.
608
00:40:07,100 --> 00:40:10,600
- What if I were?
- Well, I suppose I'd...
609
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:16,400
To be quite frank,
it'd be bloody fantastic.
610
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,500
I mean, if a little ahead of schedule.
611
00:40:19,700 --> 00:40:23,500
- Are you really pregnant?
- Well, give it three minutes.
612
00:40:34,500 --> 00:40:38,800
- What do you fancy? Boy or a girl?
- I dunno, it doesn't matter.
613
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,300
Although, I suppose I've always had
the fantasy of a son.
614
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:48,400
- Another Mark Darcy.
- Or maybe something like Huck.
615
00:40:48,700 --> 00:40:52,400
Or River. Or some fabulous
Hebrew name like Noah.
616
00:40:52,700 --> 00:40:56,000
Anyway, I could teach him
to play cricket and rugby
617
00:40:56,300 --> 00:40:58,500
and visit him at Eton
on St Andrew's Day.
618
00:40:58,700 --> 00:40:59,700
Eton?
619
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:03,900
Yes. The Darcy men have been going
to Eton for five generations.
620
00:41:05,300 --> 00:41:07,900
Well, my son's not going to be
sent away from home.
621
00:41:08,100 --> 00:41:12,200
Especially to some fascist institution
where they stick a poker up your arse
622
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,000
that you're never allowed
to remove again.
623
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,900
I see.
624
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,000
- I didn't mean you.
- No, of course not.
625
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:22,900
So what's the alternative?
626
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,390
Sleeping in his parents' bed and
breastfeeding until he's a teenager
627
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:28,300
whilst attending some progressive
school where the entire day is spent
628
00:41:28,310 --> 00:41:31,440
singing Yellow Submarine and practicing
group masturbation?
629
00:41:31,490 --> 00:41:33,100
Oh, you're absolutely right.
630
00:41:33,300 --> 00:41:37,400
It's madness to allow a child to enjoy
his education or live with his parents.
631
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:41,600
What is madness is to have a child
if his parents can't have a discussion
632
00:41:41,900 --> 00:41:43,800
without one shouting at the other.
633
00:41:44,100 --> 00:41:45,200
- It's negative.
- Negative.
634
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,700
- That's too bad.
- Yes, very sad.
635
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:26,400
Perhaps we should go out for lunch
tomorrow. Get out of the grump.
636
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:33,000
That's a good idea in theory,
but you made a family arrangement.
637
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,100
Oh, God.
638
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:37,900
[Doorbell]
639
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:39,300
Darlings!
640
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:42,400
I've had the fabulous idea
of inviting your parents.
641
00:42:42,700 --> 00:42:45,600
[Bridget] Another one
of Mother's culinary triumphs.
642
00:42:45,900 --> 00:42:49,400
- Everything in miniature.
- Mini treacle tart, Admiral Darcy?
643
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:53,700
No, no, thank you. The mini spotted dick
rather finished me off.
644
00:42:54,100 --> 00:42:55,400
[Polite laughter]
645
00:42:57,300 --> 00:43:01,000
So, Mark, Bridget, when are you
two lovebirds going to name the day?
646
00:43:01,900 --> 00:43:05,100
Bridget, you must want to hear
those ding-dong bells.
647
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:15,900
Well, we're certainly not thinking
about that yet. Are we, Bridget?
648
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:18,700
No. God, no.
649
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,800
Of course not.
650
00:43:21,100 --> 00:43:23,400
[Mr. Jones] Good.
Well, that's that sorted.
651
00:43:23,700 --> 00:43:26,200
So, Admiral, out on the high seas.
How was it?
652
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,700
- Did you mean that thing you said?
- What thing?
653
00:43:45,100 --> 00:43:48,500
- You know what thing.
- No, I don't know what thing.
654
00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:51,400
The thing thing.
655
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,200
Now, let's see, there are any number
of things, um...
656
00:43:55,500 --> 00:43:57,800
in an afternoon full
of all sorts of things,
657
00:43:58,100 --> 00:43:59,900
so I, um...
658
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:04,500
The thing where you said
you're not, um...
659
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:12,600
That you're not,
not even thinking about, um...
660
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,700
What's the matter?
661
00:44:32,500 --> 00:44:34,500
Let's get a drink.
662
00:44:42,300 --> 00:44:45,800
I'm going to go to the loo,
then I'm going to come back.
663
00:44:46,100 --> 00:44:48,400
And then we're going to be civilized.
664
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:54,500
[Telephone]
665
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,100
If you have a message for Mark Darcy,
speak after the tone.
666
00:45:00,500 --> 00:45:01,400
[Beep]
667
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,700
Mark, it's Rebecca. Are you there?
668
00:45:05,500 --> 00:45:08,500
Obviously not.
Probably still out with Bridget.
669
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:12,900
Um... Anyway, I hope lunch
with the parents went well.
670
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:16,300
I'm sure you were dutiful
and very polite, as usual.
671
00:45:16,500 --> 00:45:21,400
Er... Whatever. Anyway, look, maybe
give me a ring when you get back.
672
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,400
I thought I might pop round
for a nightcap.
673
00:45:25,500 --> 00:45:28,800
But I suppose that's a silly idea.
Bridget's probably there.
674
00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:31,600
- Sleep tight.
- [Beep]
675
00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:38,100
Oh, Christ, what now?
676
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:42,100
Are you or are you not having an affair
with Rebecca Gillies?
677
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,800
I won't dignify that question
with an answer.
678
00:45:46,100 --> 00:45:47,800
Right.
679
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:50,600
All I did was go to the loo.
680
00:45:51,900 --> 00:45:53,700
Bridget!
681
00:45:56,100 --> 00:45:57,800
Bridget.
682
00:45:59,100 --> 00:46:01,400
That's not your coat.
683
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,300
Oh, right.
684
00:46:13,100 --> 00:46:15,000
Oh, Bridget, what are you doing?
685
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:20,500
I read you should never date someone if
you can think of three reasons not to.
686
00:46:20,700 --> 00:46:22,400
- Can you think of three?
- Yes.
687
00:46:22,700 --> 00:46:26,400
- Which are?
- Well, first off, I embarrass you.
688
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,900
I can't ski, I can't ride,
I can't speak Latin.
689
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:33,800
My legs only come up to here and yes,
I will always be a little bit fat.
690
00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:37,600
And you, you fold your underpants
before you go to bed.
691
00:46:37,900 --> 00:46:41,200
- Now, hang on, that can't be a reason.
- No, it's not a reason.
692
00:46:41,500 --> 00:46:43,500
But you're not perfect either.
693
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,400
You look down your nose
at absolutely everyone,
694
00:46:46,700 --> 00:46:51,200
and you're incapable of doing anything
spontaneous or potentially affectionate.
695
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:54,800
It feels like you're waiting
to find someone in the VIP room
696
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,600
who's, who's so fantastic...
697
00:46:58,500 --> 00:47:00,400
just the way she is,
698
00:47:00,700 --> 00:47:03,200
that you don't need to fix her.
699
00:47:03,500 --> 00:47:05,000
Bridget, this is mad.
700
00:47:05,300 --> 00:47:07,600
Perhaps you've already found her.
701
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:13,500
Do you want to marry me?
702
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:17,800
Look, I...
703
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:23,000
You see, you can never
muster the strength...
704
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:26,600
to fight for me.
705
00:47:46,100 --> 00:47:48,400
[Bridget] I can't believe I did that.
706
00:48:25,100 --> 00:48:29,700
♫ What do I gotta do
to make you love me?
707
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:36,800
♫ What do I gotta do to make you care?
708
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:38,900
[Dog barks]
709
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:44,800
♫ What do I gotta do
when lightning strikes me
710
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:46,600
♫ Hmm
711
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:51,500
♫ And I wake to find
that you're not there?
712
00:48:55,100 --> 00:48:59,600
♫ What do I gotta do
to make you want me?
713
00:49:00,300 --> 00:49:01,500
♫ Hmm
714
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:06,800
♫ What do I gotta do to be heard?
715
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:09,100
[Siren]
716
00:49:09,900 --> 00:49:15,200
♫ And what do I say
when it's all over, babe?
717
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:17,000
♫ Oooh-ooh
718
00:49:17,300 --> 00:49:21,500
♫ And sorry seems to be the hardest word
719
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:28,300
♫ It's sad
So sad
720
00:49:28,700 --> 00:49:32,000
♫ Why can't we talk it over, babe?
721
00:49:32,300 --> 00:49:34,700
♫ Always seems to me
722
00:49:35,300 --> 00:49:39,600
♫ When sorry seems to be
723
00:49:40,700 --> 00:49:44,900
♫ The hardest word?
724
00:49:48,700 --> 00:49:50,800
[Bridget] Five weeks later.
725
00:49:51,100 --> 00:49:53,800
Weight: 4,000 pounds.
726
00:49:54,100 --> 00:49:58,100
Am enjoying a relationship with two men
simultaneously.
727
00:49:58,500 --> 00:50:01,700
The first is called Ben,
the other, Jerry.
728
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:05,100
Number of current boyfriends: zero.
729
00:50:05,500 --> 00:50:07,700
Number of calls from ex-boyfriend:
730
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:11,200
[Electronic voice]
You have absolutely no messages.
731
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,900
Not a single one.
Not even from your mother.
732
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,800
[Telephone]
733
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:23,300
- Hello?
- Hello, darling.
734
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:27,300
- You haven't forgotten our lunch date?
- [Bridget] Of course I have.
735
00:50:27,700 --> 00:50:30,600
- I'm suicidally depressed.
- Don't be silly, Bridget.
736
00:50:30,900 --> 00:50:33,200
Meet me at Debenhams at twelve o'clock.
737
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:37,500
Mum... I thought we were going
to have something to eat.
738
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:41,400
[Mum] Patience, please. I've got
a big surprise for you, darling.
739
00:50:42,300 --> 00:50:45,200
- What?
- Don't say "what", say "pardon".
740
00:50:47,300 --> 00:50:49,000
[Shrill] Tra-la!
741
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:52,100
- What do you think?
- Oh, my God.
742
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:54,400
Daddy and I are getting married.
743
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:57,300
- You're already married.
- We're doing it again.
744
00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:00,800
Reaffirming our vows.
You are going to be a bridesmaid,
745
00:51:01,100 --> 00:51:03,900
and absolutely everything
is going to be lavender.
746
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:06,600
And when I say everything, I mean...
747
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:08,700
...everything.
748
00:51:09,500 --> 00:51:10,800
[Laughs]
749
00:51:11,100 --> 00:51:13,200
Oh, God, I'm never going to get married
750
00:51:13,500 --> 00:51:15,900
and my sodding mum and dad
are doing it twice.
751
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:20,000
♫ No more candlelight
No more romance
752
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:23,700
-♫ No more small talk...
- [Bridget] Bloody know-it-all.
753
00:51:25,700 --> 00:51:29,500
New York: The Big, Juicy Apple.
754
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:33,500
The city that never sleeps
with the same person two nights running.
755
00:51:33,900 --> 00:51:38,000
My favorite place in America, where Sex
And The City isn't just a programme,
756
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:40,200
it's a promise.
757
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:43,300
[Bell]
758
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,200
- [Phone rings]
- [Man] Morning, Rach.
759
00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:48,200
Sorry.
760
00:51:48,500 --> 00:51:52,100
Oh, cheer up, misery guts.
I have good news for you.
761
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:54,300
[Chuckles] Sure, right.
762
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:57,600
What's the angle?
I interview some rocket scientist
763
00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:00,700
while he looks through my skirt
with X-ray glasses?
764
00:52:00,900 --> 00:52:02,400
No.
765
00:52:03,100 --> 00:52:05,000
Although that is a bloody good idea.
766
00:52:05,700 --> 00:52:09,600
No. The fact is The Smooth Guide
is doing very well with women,
767
00:52:09,900 --> 00:52:14,200
but the network want us to cast
a wider net and use a Smooth Guide-ess.
768
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:17,700
Me? With Daniel Cleaver?
769
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:21,700
It's the next logical step.
I think Thailand is first on the list.
770
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,600
No. I won't do it.
771
00:52:24,900 --> 00:52:27,500
Not now.
Not in a million years from now.
772
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:30,400
- Excuse me?
- I am a top television journalist,
773
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:32,900
not some boorish bint in a bikini.
774
00:52:33,100 --> 00:52:37,500
Really? Strong words from somebody
who doesn't know where Germany is.
775
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:40,000
- [Sniggering]
- Who told you that?
776
00:52:40,300 --> 00:52:43,700
Cleaver. He said he couldn't be expected
to go out with someone
777
00:52:44,100 --> 00:52:48,900
who thought Iran was David Bowie's wife,
and who didn't know where Germany was.
778
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:56,200
Daniel Cleaver is a deceitful, sexist,
disgusting specimen of humanity,
779
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:59,200
that I wouldn't share a lift with,
let alone a job.
780
00:52:59,500 --> 00:53:03,000
Come on, Jones, there must have been
something you liked about me.
781
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:06,400
Well... you have a nice car.
782
00:53:07,700 --> 00:53:10,700
And quite nice manners.
Outside the bedroom.
783
00:53:10,900 --> 00:53:12,800
But that's about it.
784
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:15,900
And by the way,
I know exactly where Germany is.
785
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:19,500
The question is do you know the location
of your arsehole?
786
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:28,500
As a matter of fact, I do know the
exact location of my arsehole. And hers.
787
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:32,800
Oh, come on, Jones,
it was just a silly joke.
788
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:34,500
Not a very funny one.
789
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:36,100
- Go on, then.
- What?
790
00:53:36,300 --> 00:53:38,200
Where is it? Where is Germany?
791
00:53:38,500 --> 00:53:41,100
- Next to France.
- And?
792
00:53:41,500 --> 00:53:43,700
And also Belgium...
793
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,500
Poland. And it has a sea coast.
794
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:49,700
Which sea?
795
00:53:56,900 --> 00:53:58,800
Oh, sod it. Now, look,
796
00:53:59,100 --> 00:54:01,700
I think we should talk
about Finch's suggestion.
797
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:03,900
I am going to Thailand, Jones.
798
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:06,700
Wouldn't you like to be
my little Girl Guide?
799
00:54:07,100 --> 00:54:08,000
Thailand?
800
00:54:08,300 --> 00:54:11,800
- He'll fucking shag before you've left Heathrow.
- I'll be perfectly fine.
801
00:54:12,100 --> 00:54:14,100
I'm eschewing all men.
802
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:17,500
And cigarettes. And carbohydrates.
803
00:54:17,900 --> 00:54:20,600
- We can't possibly let you go.
- On your own.
804
00:54:20,900 --> 00:54:22,800
Oh, stop it, all of you.
805
00:54:23,100 --> 00:54:25,800
I am a mature, sophisticated,
professional woman
806
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:30,600
and I'm going to Thailand
entirely on my own, thank you very much.
807
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:32,300
- [Shazzer] Fuck!
- Sorry.
808
00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:34,600
- Fuckity fuck.
- Sorry.
809
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:39,200
[Pilot] And now our final passengers
have joined us, we can get underway.
810
00:54:39,500 --> 00:54:41,500
Someone's gotta be last.
811
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,900
- [Crunching]
- [Bridget] Are we not sitting together?
812
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:48,100
Oh, fuck.
813
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,700
I don't think we're really
in a position to, um...
814
00:54:54,700 --> 00:54:57,100
...make a fuss.
Sorry. Hi.
815
00:54:57,900 --> 00:55:00,000
- Sorry.
- [Man chuckles]
816
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:02,900
[Woman] What's our film?
817
00:55:03,900 --> 00:55:06,100
What's your name? Mine's Clive.
818
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:08,300
- Er, Bridget.
- [Clive chuckles]
819
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:11,400
[Pilot] Good afternoon again,
ladies and gentlemen.
820
00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:14,600
We're about to offer a wide range
of duty-free items.
821
00:55:14,900 --> 00:55:17,500
Details can be found
in your in-flight magazine.
822
00:55:17,700 --> 00:55:19,400
[Baby cries]
823
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:29,400
Wonderful people, the Thais.
Particularly the young ladies.
824
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,700
If you know what I mean, eh?
825
00:55:31,900 --> 00:55:34,500
- Oh, for heaven's sake.
- Come with me.
826
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:36,900
Come with me now.
827
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:39,600
- Where are we going?
- Just through here.
828
00:55:39,900 --> 00:55:41,900
Thank you. This is worse than school.
829
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:44,200
It really wasn't my fault.
830
00:55:44,500 --> 00:55:46,700
It's a fizzy drink, you know, it just...
831
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,100
It just sort of fizzied over.
832
00:55:50,700 --> 00:55:53,900
Couldn’t bear to think of you back there
in slum class, Jones.
833
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:58,100
Graham, thank you. You are the best
air steward I've ever come across.
834
00:55:58,500 --> 00:56:00,500
And if I may say so, the smartest.
835
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:02,200
Thank you, sir.
836
00:56:05,100 --> 00:56:07,800
I thought you were there already,
doing research.
837
00:56:08,100 --> 00:56:09,900
Fuck, no. I make it up as I go along.
838
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,800
It's 13 hours for this trip.
I need some in-flight entertainment.
839
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:17,500
Why don't you tell me, in detail,
about your school netball tour,
840
00:56:17,900 --> 00:56:21,300
particularly the unsavory incident
in the communal showers.
841
00:56:21,500 --> 00:56:24,500
I didn't play netball.
Or go to a girls' school.
842
00:56:24,900 --> 00:56:28,300
- Or have showers.
- Now that's just not true, is it?
843
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:30,500
- Let me start you off.
- No.
844
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:34,300
If you're gonna be dull, I'm going
to plunge back into Mrs. Dalloway,
845
00:56:34,700 --> 00:56:37,800
and you know how she loves that.
Dirty, dirty bitch.
846
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:01,800
- [Elephant trumpets]
-♫ Here's a new thing
847
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:03,600
♫ That's gonna please ya
848
00:57:03,900 --> 00:57:06,300
♫ Just a little town down in Indonesia
849
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:07,600
♫ Bangkok...
850
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:10,500
[Bridget] Arrived Bangkok. Very hot.
851
00:57:10,900 --> 00:57:14,700
Relieved at last to throw myself
into serious journalistic work.
852
00:57:16,900 --> 00:57:20,900
Thailand has long called travelers
from around the globe
853
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:24,700
to take spiritual succour
and karmic rest.
854
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:29,900
For centuries, Western visitors
have been inevitably drawn
855
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:33,600
to some of Bangkok's oldest sanctuaries.
856
00:57:33,900 --> 00:57:37,300
So true, Bridget. Even I,
fight it as I may, am no exception.
857
00:57:37,700 --> 00:57:41,600
The moment I arrive here,
I almost feel an irresistible pull...
858
00:57:41,900 --> 00:57:45,500
...to this. The Temple of Tranquility.
859
00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:51,200
Indeed, nothing symbolizes Thailand's
extraordinary fusion of East and West,
860
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:54,900
of tradition and innovation,
better than this.
861
00:57:55,200 --> 00:57:57,400
Fully body-to-body massage.
862
00:57:57,700 --> 00:58:00,000
- Sawatdee kha?
- Sawatdee khrab?
863
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:04,500
An incredible thing about Thailand
is the amazing traditional cuisine.
864
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:08,700
I'm going to taste kapaluk,
the ultimate delicacy.
865
00:58:10,700 --> 00:58:12,900
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
866
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:15,100
Oh, my God. My God.
867
00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:17,800
Um... Er... Mmm.
868
00:58:18,100 --> 00:58:20,500
How about a lovely locust?
869
00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:22,800
I can't. No, no, I can't.
870
00:58:23,100 --> 00:58:25,000
- They're delicious.
- [Crunching]
871
00:58:27,500 --> 00:58:28,800
Oh!
872
00:58:31,900 --> 00:58:36,800
[Daniel] Now that is Ko Panyi, which is
the setting for a very famous Thai poem,
873
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:39,400
which I think you'd like very much,
Jones.
874
00:58:39,700 --> 00:58:43,700
It's all about a badly-behaved prince
who finds true love with a beautiful,
875
00:58:44,100 --> 00:58:47,200
and as it happens,
very slightly overweight princess.
876
00:58:48,100 --> 00:58:51,500
- You're teasing me.
- I never tease about poetry.
877
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:56,100
"Oh, Suvarnamali
Why can you not see that I adore you?"
878
00:58:56,500 --> 00:58:58,800
"Why do you avoid and scorn me?"
879
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:00,900
"If you cast me off and leave me
880
00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:03,300
How should I live another day?"
881
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:10,500
And you thought all I knew of Thailand
was pussies and ping-pong balls.
882
00:59:10,900 --> 00:59:13,800
- You wouldn't sleep with him?
- No, of course not.
883
00:59:14,100 --> 00:59:16,300
Absolutely not.
884
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:18,600
But he is clever.
885
00:59:18,900 --> 00:59:20,300
- Yes?
- And handsome.
886
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:24,000
He's also a dysfunctional,
fucked-up, middle-aged, lost boy.
887
00:59:24,300 --> 00:59:26,200
Well, no-one's perfect.
888
00:59:26,500 --> 00:59:28,000
[Birdsong]
889
00:59:31,300 --> 00:59:33,500
I didn't realize you were busy.
890
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:41,100
- He's young enough to be your grandson.
- I know. Isn't that great?
891
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:44,500
- [Man yells]
- [Ladies shriek]
892
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:48,600
Come on, guys, I've got a very special
treat lined up for lunch.
893
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:51,200
[Bridget]
I'm getting rather fond of Jed,
894
00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:54,700
and I must say he has a genuine interest
in Thai cuisine.
895
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:58,800
[Bridget] I wouldn't have thought
omelette would be big in Thailand.
896
00:59:59,100 --> 01:00:02,600
- Or mushrooms, for that matter.
- [Jed] It's magic.
897
01:00:05,600 --> 01:00:08,400
It is a magic mushroom omelette,
isn't it?
898
01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:13,600
Well, that's awful.
There is nothing funny in this at all.
899
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:17,900
Although, thank God,
900
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:21,400
the mushrooms don't actually
seem to be working.
901
01:00:24,500 --> 01:00:26,200
[♫ Primal Scream: Loaded]
902
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:29,300
♫ Just what is it
that you want to do?
903
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:34,700
Such lovely colors! [gasps]
904
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,900
♫ We wanna get loaded
And we wanna have a good time...
905
01:00:38,300 --> 01:00:42,800
Beautiful Bridget! Beautiful Bridget!
Beautiful Bridget!
906
01:00:45,700 --> 01:00:47,500
Bridget Jones!
907
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:52,800
[Daniel's voice, distorted]
Bridget Jones!
908
01:00:53,100 --> 01:00:54,700
But, wait...
909
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:58,100
- [Daniel, distorted] Bridget Jones?
- What sound is that?
910
01:01:03,900 --> 01:01:06,900
It is Daniel Cleaver. [echoes]
911
01:01:07,300 --> 01:01:11,000
[Thinks]
How unutterably beautiful he is.
912
01:01:12,700 --> 01:01:15,100
Jones, what the hell are you doing?
913
01:01:18,700 --> 01:01:21,400
[Bridget] You are lovely colors.
914
01:01:22,500 --> 01:01:25,200
-♫ I don't wanna lose your love...
- Here.
915
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,400
Here I am.
916
01:01:28,300 --> 01:01:30,700
I think you're completely off your face.
917
01:01:32,300 --> 01:01:34,000
- Hey.
- [Bridget groans]
918
01:01:34,300 --> 01:01:37,200
- Bloody hell.
- [Bridget groans and sighs]
919
01:01:37,900 --> 01:01:40,800
Oh... Oh, I'm an angel.
920
01:01:41,900 --> 01:01:44,600
Oh. How lovely.
921
01:01:44,900 --> 01:01:47,200
Glorious sand.
922
01:01:47,500 --> 01:01:49,200
Oh.
923
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:51,500
I want to be naked.
924
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:56,400
- Naked as a baby.
- Come on, then, angel. Up you get.
925
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:58,700
[Daniel strains]
926
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:01,700
- All right?
- Mmm.
927
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:06,300
- [Daniel] How are you feeling?
- Completely embarrassed.
928
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:09,800
Don't be. You're charming on drugs.
In future, just say yes.
929
01:02:10,900 --> 01:02:15,800
Do you know, I never really understood
why you wanted to go out with me.
930
01:02:16,900 --> 01:02:19,700
- It seemed so unlikely.
- Come on. For God's sake.
931
01:02:20,100 --> 01:02:22,900
You're sexy. You make me laugh.
932
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:25,500
At you, of course, not with you.
933
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:28,200
And you were...
934
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:30,100
...incidentally...
935
01:02:31,900 --> 01:02:33,600
...the best shag...
936
01:02:33,900 --> 01:02:35,400
...I ever had.
937
01:02:35,700 --> 01:02:37,200
The best?
938
01:02:37,500 --> 01:02:40,700
Aside from Simon Reade
in the fifth-form locker room, yeah.
939
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:44,300
Suppose I said you were pretty good too?
940
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:48,400
Pretty good?
941
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:51,900
Was I better than Mark Darcy?
942
01:02:53,100 --> 01:02:57,300
By the way, is it true he always says
"I'm sorry, I think I'm going to come"?
943
01:02:57,700 --> 01:03:00,500
- Who told you that?
- It's common knowledge, isn't it?
944
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,700
Come on, Jones. Who gave who the hoof?
945
01:03:04,900 --> 01:03:07,000
And why?
946
01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:10,100
Let's just say
947
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:13,600
that we suffered
from a fatal incompatibility.
948
01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:19,500
I have missed you, Jones.
949
01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:22,400
I don't suppose
there's any circumstances
950
01:03:22,700 --> 01:03:25,000
in which you would ever consider
951
01:03:25,300 --> 01:03:27,900
thinking about trusting me again?
952
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:32,700
Absolutely not.
953
01:03:39,300 --> 01:03:42,700
Well, I suppose I'll be getting back
to my little hut now.
954
01:03:43,700 --> 01:03:47,100
Thank you very much, Daniel.
I had a nice time.
955
01:03:58,800 --> 01:04:03,000
Is that the Big Dipper
or the little one?
956
01:04:03,400 --> 01:04:05,500
I can never tell them apart.
957
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:07,500
Definitely the big one.
958
01:04:07,700 --> 01:04:10,600
You can't see the little one
this close to the equator.
959
01:04:10,900 --> 01:04:14,400
Oh, please.
You don't know about astronomy.
960
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,200
I most certainly do.
I'm passionate about it.
961
01:04:19,700 --> 01:04:23,400
You know, Jones, if stargazing
is something that interests you,
962
01:04:23,700 --> 01:04:27,600
then it has to be said that the view
from my balcony is quite outstanding.
963
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:32,000
Perhaps you'd like to come up
and have a little look?
964
01:04:32,300 --> 01:04:34,100
I don't think so.
965
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:37,400
See over there? Along my arm.
966
01:04:37,700 --> 01:04:39,600
That's it, over there.
967
01:04:40,700 --> 01:04:42,900
That is Orion's Belt.
968
01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:48,200
And next to that is a very sexy little
constellation called Ursa's Maiden.
969
01:04:48,700 --> 01:04:49,700
Ah.
970
01:04:49,900 --> 01:04:53,100
She's being very naughty
and trying to undo Orion's belt.
971
01:04:54,300 --> 01:04:58,200
All right, what about...
that one?
972
01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:02,300
Yes, well that is
a very, very famous star.
973
01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:04,900
Um, right next to, of course, um...
974
01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:06,300
[chirruping]
975
01:05:07,200 --> 01:05:11,400
I don't know, some other fucking star
that's been there for years and years.
976
01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:15,000
Seen one star, you've seen the lot,
that's what I say, Jones.
977
01:05:18,700 --> 01:05:20,900
Different with girls, though.
978
01:05:23,100 --> 01:05:25,000
Some girls...
979
01:05:25,300 --> 01:05:27,200
...are special.
980
01:05:27,500 --> 01:05:29,500
Are they?
981
01:05:30,500 --> 01:05:32,400
I think so.
982
01:05:32,600 --> 01:05:34,900
[♫ 10cc: I'm Not In Love]
983
01:05:43,300 --> 01:05:46,300
What is this special power
you hold over me, Jones?
984
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:58,100
And what about your therapy?
985
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,000
I think you might be it.
986
01:06:02,300 --> 01:06:04,300
♫ I'm not in love
987
01:06:05,700 --> 01:06:07,600
♫ So don't forget it
988
01:06:09,300 --> 01:06:11,400
♫ It's just a silly phase
989
01:06:11,700 --> 01:06:13,600
♫ I'm going through
990
01:06:16,300 --> 01:06:18,300
♫ And just because
991
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:21,900
♫ I call you up
992
01:06:23,500 --> 01:06:25,200
♫ Don't get me wrong
993
01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:28,200
♫ Don't think you've got it made
994
01:06:30,600 --> 01:06:32,500
♫ I'm not in love...
995
01:06:33,300 --> 01:06:36,000
God, I hope you're wearing
those giant panties.
996
01:06:36,300 --> 01:06:37,400
Please.
997
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:40,400
[Smooching]
Please be wearing the giant panties.
998
01:06:40,800 --> 01:06:42,800
Please. [gasps]
999
01:06:43,100 --> 01:06:45,000
Oh, my old friends.
1000
01:06:45,300 --> 01:06:47,900
Oh, Daddy's home.
1001
01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:51,900
Did you miss me?
Because Daddy missed you. Yes, he did.
1002
01:06:52,900 --> 01:06:54,400
Wait.
1003
01:06:56,800 --> 01:06:58,300
Sorry.
1004
01:06:58,600 --> 01:07:00,600
Can I just have a minute?
1005
01:07:00,900 --> 01:07:02,800
Just a minute.
1006
01:07:10,600 --> 01:07:13,000
[Thinks] Oh, God.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
1007
01:07:13,300 --> 01:07:16,800
♫ Big boys don't cry
Big boys don't cry
1008
01:07:17,500 --> 01:07:21,000
♫ Big boys don't cry
Big boys don't cry...
1009
01:07:31,500 --> 01:07:33,300
[sighs]
1010
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:38,000
- Everything all right?
- Yeah, sure.
1011
01:07:39,200 --> 01:07:41,200
Just a bit... nervous. [chuckles]
1012
01:07:42,500 --> 01:07:45,200
I mean, you see,
if I stay with you tonight,
1013
01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:49,400
well, it's definitely
the end of something...
1014
01:07:49,800 --> 01:07:51,900
important with someone.
1015
01:07:52,100 --> 01:07:54,800
Um, which has probably ended already,
1016
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,900
- but perhaps...
- Bridge, Bridge Bridge, Bridge.
1017
01:07:58,200 --> 01:08:00,500
Doesn't everyone
deserve a second chance?
1018
01:08:02,600 --> 01:08:03,900
Hmm?
1019
01:08:10,700 --> 01:08:12,500
Except Hitler.
1020
01:08:14,200 --> 01:08:17,300
Well, he was very, very, very naughty.
1021
01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:20,800
[Knocking]
1022
01:08:23,700 --> 01:08:25,000
What?
1023
01:08:25,300 --> 01:08:28,700
Nothing. Er, come back later, please.
Thank you very much.
1024
01:08:30,100 --> 01:08:31,600
[Knocking]
1025
01:08:32,900 --> 01:08:35,200
Bridge, it's nothing.
Leave it. Leave it.
1026
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:40,500
You made order for 10.30.
1027
01:08:41,500 --> 01:08:43,500
Order for what?
1028
01:08:44,700 --> 01:08:46,000
Me.
1029
01:08:46,200 --> 01:08:47,900
10.30.
1030
01:08:51,100 --> 01:08:53,700
You know, I've had it up to here
with this hotel.
1031
01:08:53,900 --> 01:08:57,600
- It's been cock-ups like this all week.
- [Thai girl] You Mr. Cleaver?
1032
01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:02,300
Yesterday, you with Maria.
She say you big tipper.
1033
01:09:11,300 --> 01:09:13,200
[Mumbles]
1034
01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:15,800
I mean, I'm up for it if you are.
1035
01:09:17,100 --> 01:09:20,500
Actually, no, that was stupid.
It's just one little slip.
1036
01:09:20,700 --> 01:09:24,200
Don't let it ruin what was gonna be
a fantastic weekend shagathon.
1037
01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:27,700
- I don't want a shagathon.
- No, nor do I. Nor do I.
1038
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:30,900
- You're right.
- You're looking for a weekend of sex,
1039
01:09:31,300 --> 01:09:34,400
- I'm looking...
- For more. I feel I can change.
1040
01:09:34,700 --> 01:09:37,000
- I absolutely can change.
- I need to change.
1041
01:09:37,300 --> 01:09:39,400
I can't believe I fell for it again.
1042
01:09:39,700 --> 01:09:42,400
Daniel, I really do think
1043
01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:45,300
that you should go and fuck yourself.
1044
01:09:45,700 --> 01:09:49,400
Or her. But definitely not me.
1045
01:09:49,700 --> 01:09:51,100
-♫ Think
-♫ Think
1046
01:09:51,400 --> 01:09:53,700
♫ Think about
what you're trying to do to me
1047
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:55,500
-♫ Think
-♫ Think think
1048
01:09:55,800 --> 01:09:56,900
♫ Let your mind go...
1049
01:09:57,100 --> 01:09:59,600
I can't believe he made up
the sex therapy thing.
1050
01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:02,300
Doesn't matter.
I finally learnt my lesson,
1051
01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:05,300
and it's an excellent lesson
to have nailed.
1052
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:07,500
- Fuck!
- What?
1053
01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:10,100
No fucking room in the fucking suitcase.
1054
01:10:10,400 --> 01:10:12,700
There's room in mine. Give me something.
1055
01:10:12,900 --> 01:10:14,600
Great.
1056
01:10:14,900 --> 01:10:18,200
- What the hell is this?
- It is a fertility-snake bowl.
1057
01:10:18,500 --> 01:10:20,800
- Ooh.
- Jed gave it to me.
1058
01:10:21,100 --> 01:10:23,000
-♫ Think think
-♫ Let your mind go...
1059
01:10:23,300 --> 01:10:24,600
How romantic.
1060
01:10:24,900 --> 01:10:26,000
♫ Freedom...
1061
01:10:26,200 --> 01:10:30,200
The way I look at it, in everyone's
life, there's a certain amount of shit.
1062
01:10:30,600 --> 01:10:33,000
- That's true.
- In the last year,
1063
01:10:33,300 --> 01:10:35,600
things have turned out pretty shitty.
1064
01:10:35,900 --> 01:10:38,000
So logically, mathematically, even,
1065
01:10:38,300 --> 01:10:41,100
it's got to be time
for something not shit.
1066
01:10:41,500 --> 01:10:46,000
- [Shazzer] Like what?
- Maybe Mark will have chucked Rebecca.
1067
01:10:46,400 --> 01:10:48,700
And he'll run to my door,
1068
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:53,100
fall to his knees,
possibly wearing a wet white shirt,
1069
01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:55,300
and beg me to come back.
1070
01:10:55,400 --> 01:10:56,600
-♫ Think
-♫ Think
1071
01:10:56,900 --> 01:10:59,600
♫ Think about
what you're tryin' to do to me...
1072
01:10:59,900 --> 01:11:05,200
Yes, I very confidently expect
very, very good times ahead.
1073
01:11:05,700 --> 01:11:08,200
[PA] Final call
for all passengers to London...
1074
01:11:08,500 --> 01:11:11,300
Isn't he cute? Hello.
1075
01:11:11,900 --> 01:11:13,400
Hello. Oh...
1076
01:11:13,700 --> 01:11:16,600
Seems to be getting a bit excited.
[Laughs]
1077
01:11:17,300 --> 01:11:18,800
Oh.
1078
01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:20,400
Er...
1079
01:11:21,800 --> 01:11:24,900
- [Shazzer] Bridget!
- It's just a misunderstanding.
1080
01:11:25,300 --> 01:11:26,900
Hold the plane.
1081
01:11:27,100 --> 01:11:28,800
Hold the plane.
1082
01:11:29,100 --> 01:11:31,100
[Shazzer] Excuse me! Excuse me!
1083
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:36,000
[PA] All remaining passengers
please report to Gate 27 immediately.
1084
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:44,100
[Thud]
1085
01:11:44,300 --> 01:11:46,200
It's not mine.
1086
01:11:46,500 --> 01:11:48,800
- These yours?
- Yes.
1087
01:11:49,100 --> 01:11:51,200
I mean, they're not my favorite pair.
1088
01:11:52,900 --> 01:11:54,600
[Siren]
1089
01:12:00,200 --> 01:12:01,500
[Brakes screech]
1090
01:12:03,800 --> 01:12:05,700
You can't do this. I'm English.
1091
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:08,100
And an award-winning journalist.
1092
01:12:08,400 --> 01:12:12,700
Well, maybe not award-winning, but I
have been to lots of award ceremonies.
1093
01:12:13,100 --> 01:12:15,000
[Door rattles and clangs]
1094
01:12:19,600 --> 01:12:21,000
[Clang]
1095
01:12:22,100 --> 01:12:24,900
Hello. Bridget Jones.
1096
01:12:27,600 --> 01:12:29,700
Lovely to meet all of you.
1097
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:34,400
[Bridget] Oh, my bloody God and fuck.
1098
01:12:34,700 --> 01:12:37,100
I hope they've told
the British ambassador.
1099
01:12:37,400 --> 01:12:40,000
Surely Shazzer
would have raised the alert.
1100
01:12:40,200 --> 01:12:42,400
Maybe they got Shazzer as well.
1101
01:12:43,800 --> 01:12:46,100
[Woman speaks Thai]
1102
01:12:49,500 --> 01:12:52,400
Oh, God, 28 hours.
1103
01:12:53,500 --> 01:12:55,300
How much longer?
1104
01:12:55,600 --> 01:12:58,300
[Man] Jones.
Bridget Jones, you come now.
1105
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:02,900
[Clang]
1106
01:13:07,500 --> 01:13:10,600
Charlie Parker-Knowles,
Assistant Consul.
1107
01:13:10,800 --> 01:13:13,000
Thank God you're here.
1108
01:13:14,900 --> 01:13:16,600
Um, shall we...
1109
01:13:16,800 --> 01:13:19,800
I really had absolutely
nothing to do with it.
1110
01:13:20,200 --> 01:13:22,100
Jed planned the whole thing.
1111
01:13:22,300 --> 01:13:25,300
That's why he snogged Shazzer,
who's much older than him
1112
01:13:25,600 --> 01:13:27,500
and slightly past her peak.
1113
01:13:27,700 --> 01:13:30,200
Yes, he sounds the most frightful shit.
1114
01:13:30,400 --> 01:13:31,700
Mmm.
1115
01:13:31,900 --> 01:13:36,200
The bore is everyone who gets caught
has exactly the same story,
1116
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:41,200
so unless we find this, this Jed fellow
and get a full confession,
1117
01:13:41,600 --> 01:13:43,600
you're on a bit of a sticky wicket.
1118
01:13:44,300 --> 01:13:46,100
Well, how sticky?
1119
01:13:46,400 --> 01:13:48,600
Something like 15 to 20 years.
1120
01:13:48,900 --> 01:13:52,300
- [Whispers] 15 years?
- Or maybe ten if we're lucky.
1121
01:13:52,600 --> 01:13:54,500
Ten years!
1122
01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:57,100
In here?
1123
01:14:09,800 --> 01:14:11,800
[Bridget] Very black.
1124
01:14:12,100 --> 01:14:16,000
All my life I've had the feeling
something terrible was about to happen.
1125
01:14:17,000 --> 01:14:19,100
Now it has.
1126
01:14:21,400 --> 01:14:23,300
Bijjit, right?
1127
01:14:23,600 --> 01:14:25,500
Bridget, actually.
1128
01:14:25,700 --> 01:14:27,500
My name Phrao.
1129
01:14:27,800 --> 01:14:29,700
You're my friend?
1130
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:38,000
- Steady on!
- Super bra!
1131
01:14:38,200 --> 01:14:41,300
You lend me. One day, two cigarette.
1132
01:14:42,300 --> 01:14:44,200
Oh. [laughs]
1133
01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:46,500
Well, I'll think about it.
1134
01:14:47,500 --> 01:14:49,700
Actually, I was thinking of giving up,
1135
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:53,300
but that was before I was arrested
and thrown into a Thai prison
1136
01:14:53,600 --> 01:14:56,100
for ten to 15 years. [laughs]
1137
01:14:56,900 --> 01:14:59,000
Circumstances change.
1138
01:15:01,000 --> 01:15:04,200
No, it really, really is "touched".
1139
01:15:04,900 --> 01:15:09,400
"Like a vir-gin,
touched for the very first time".
1140
01:15:09,700 --> 01:15:11,200
- No, you wrong.
- No.
1141
01:15:11,500 --> 01:15:13,300
♫ Like a wersion
1142
01:15:13,500 --> 01:15:16,300
- Vir-gin.
-♫ Fucked for the very first time
1143
01:15:16,600 --> 01:15:20,200
- Touched.
-♫ Like a wersion
1144
01:15:20,500 --> 01:15:22,500
[Bridget] Ten years of this? I
1145
01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:25,500
Stop! Enough. Enough.
1146
01:15:25,800 --> 01:15:29,400
If you're going to do it,
you really ought to do it properly.
1147
01:15:30,200 --> 01:15:35,400
After all, Madonna is nothing
if not a perfectionist.
1148
01:15:35,900 --> 01:15:38,100
Five, six, seven, eight and one...
1149
01:15:38,400 --> 01:15:40,600
♫ Like a virgin
1150
01:15:41,600 --> 01:15:45,500
♫ Touched for the very first time
1151
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:49,700
♫ Like a virgin
1152
01:15:50,000 --> 01:15:52,500
♫ When your heart beats
1153
01:15:52,900 --> 01:15:55,600
♫ Next to mine...
1154
01:15:55,900 --> 01:15:57,400
[cheering]
1155
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:02,000
[Bridget] Dear Mum and Dad,
1156
01:16:02,200 --> 01:16:04,100
I'm missing you a lot.
1157
01:16:04,400 --> 01:16:06,700
Please write as soon as you can.
1158
01:16:09,400 --> 01:16:11,600
I'm feeling pretty low.
1159
01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:14,900
[Man] Bijjit Jone.
1160
01:16:15,200 --> 01:16:17,500
[Inmates shout]
1161
01:16:18,500 --> 01:16:20,900
In there. You have five minutes.
1162
01:16:21,200 --> 01:16:22,900
Just five.
1163
01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:25,100
[Door creaks and clangs]
1164
01:16:31,100 --> 01:16:32,500
Mark?
1165
01:16:37,500 --> 01:16:39,400
You all right?
1166
01:16:39,700 --> 01:16:42,100
Oh... [laughs] Fine.
1167
01:16:42,400 --> 01:16:44,000
Hmm.
1168
01:16:49,200 --> 01:16:52,100
And... scared shitless.
1169
01:16:52,300 --> 01:16:54,300
But, you know, perky.
1170
01:16:57,100 --> 01:16:59,400
I can't believe
you've come all this way.
1171
01:16:59,700 --> 01:17:02,900
I haven't. I was out here
handling a Foreign Office case
1172
01:17:03,200 --> 01:17:05,100
when I heard about your situation.
1173
01:17:05,400 --> 01:17:07,800
I haven't done anything wrong.
1174
01:17:08,100 --> 01:17:10,600
I promise you, it's all a big mistake.
1175
01:17:10,900 --> 01:17:13,300
Yes, well, I'm sure it is.
1176
01:17:13,600 --> 01:17:16,600
I've got all the papers here
and I'm sure we can sort it out.
1177
01:17:16,900 --> 01:17:21,200
I think about you all the time.
And I'm so sorry,
1178
01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:25,700
I really, really am,
for everything that happened between us.
1179
01:17:26,100 --> 01:17:28,000
Yes, well... [clears throat]
1180
01:17:28,300 --> 01:17:32,000
We don't have much time and I need you
to identify someone for me.
1181
01:17:32,300 --> 01:17:36,000
Is this the man with whom you were
seen taking hallucinogenic mushrooms
1182
01:17:36,400 --> 01:17:39,000
before you spent the night
with Daniel Cleaver?
1183
01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:41,900
Yes, that's him,
but I think you should know...
1184
01:17:42,100 --> 01:17:45,200
The same man who gave you
the snake containing the drugs?
1185
01:17:45,500 --> 01:17:47,800
Yes, that's him, that's Jed.
1186
01:17:48,100 --> 01:17:50,100
But it was Shazzer's snake, not mine,
1187
01:17:50,400 --> 01:17:52,600
and as far as Daniel Cleaver goes...
1188
01:17:52,800 --> 01:17:55,800
Your sex life doesn't concern me at all.
1189
01:18:07,300 --> 01:18:09,700
Has there been any ill treatment here?
1190
01:18:10,400 --> 01:18:13,800
No, no. Well, I mean...
1191
01:18:14,700 --> 01:18:17,400
...the toilet facilities
are well below par, but...
1192
01:18:17,600 --> 01:18:19,500
Good, that makes things simpler.
1193
01:18:23,200 --> 01:18:26,200
Listen, they're prepared
to drop all charges against you
1194
01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:29,900
which is extremely lenient,
given the circumstances.
1195
01:18:30,200 --> 01:18:32,600
You're going to be out within a week.
1196
01:18:36,700 --> 01:18:38,100
And...
1197
01:18:42,100 --> 01:18:43,400
[zip]
1198
01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:47,600
Goodbye.
1199
01:18:52,200 --> 01:18:53,600
Mark?
1200
01:18:53,900 --> 01:18:55,400
[Clang]
1201
01:19:04,200 --> 01:19:06,000
Thank you.
1202
01:19:06,700 --> 01:19:10,500
You're welcome. I'm just the messenger.
The order came from above.
1203
01:19:12,800 --> 01:19:15,500
Well, good luck.
Glad I could be of help.
1204
01:19:38,300 --> 01:19:40,200
So, Bijjit, what happen?
1205
01:19:40,500 --> 01:19:42,500
Well, um...
1206
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:45,800
Bijjit! How this can happen?
1207
01:19:46,100 --> 01:19:49,100
This is terrible! You are innocent!
1208
01:19:49,400 --> 01:19:53,000
- They're always cheating us.
- No, no, no. That's all fine.
1209
01:19:53,300 --> 01:19:56,600
They've dropped the charges
and they're letting me go.
1210
01:19:56,900 --> 01:19:58,800
But that good news.
1211
01:19:59,100 --> 01:20:01,100
What is wrong?
1212
01:20:02,300 --> 01:20:04,900
Mark Darcy definitely...
1213
01:20:05,200 --> 01:20:07,700
...doesn't love me anymore.
1214
01:20:07,900 --> 01:20:09,700
[All] Ohhh.
1215
01:20:10,400 --> 01:20:13,100
You see the trouble is
it was me who chucked him.
1216
01:20:13,400 --> 01:20:15,500
[Phrao] He treat you bad?
1217
01:20:15,600 --> 01:20:17,500
Yeah, actually, he did.
1218
01:20:17,800 --> 01:20:20,000
My boyfriend treat me bad too.
1219
01:20:20,300 --> 01:20:21,900
- Me too.
- [Girl] Mine as well.
1220
01:20:22,100 --> 01:20:23,500
[Girl] Me too.
1221
01:20:23,800 --> 01:20:27,100
Then you know all about it.
You think you've found the right man,
1222
01:20:27,400 --> 01:20:29,700
but then there's so much wrong with him
1223
01:20:30,000 --> 01:20:34,000
and he finds there's so much wrong
with you and it all just falls apart.
1224
01:20:34,400 --> 01:20:36,700
Don't tell me. My boyfriend,
1225
01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:38,900
he seem really nice.
1226
01:20:39,200 --> 01:20:43,100
Then he start to hit me.
Make me work on street.
1227
01:20:43,400 --> 01:20:45,700
My boyfriend, he say he love me.
1228
01:20:46,000 --> 01:20:49,600
But he do no work,
and make me work 24 hour a day.
1229
01:20:50,000 --> 01:20:52,100
Then he make me take heroin drug.
1230
01:20:52,400 --> 01:20:55,900
What about you, Bijjit?
What your bad boyfriend do?
1231
01:20:57,500 --> 01:20:59,400
Well, er...
1232
01:21:00,300 --> 01:21:04,000
...he really didn't stick up for me
at this lawyers' supper...
1233
01:21:04,300 --> 01:21:08,600
and, um, then he would fold his...
[chuckles]
1234
01:21:10,700 --> 01:21:13,500
Oh, same sort of thing, really.
1235
01:21:13,800 --> 01:21:18,600
Hitting me and making me take drugs.
Stealing all my money and stuff.
1236
01:21:19,400 --> 01:21:23,700
[Bridget] Oh, God.
I've been the world's biggest fool.
1237
01:21:24,500 --> 01:21:26,500
[Gate slams]
1238
01:21:29,900 --> 01:21:31,600
Bijjit?
1239
01:21:32,600 --> 01:21:35,400
Just a few tiny leaving presents.
No luxuries.
1240
01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:39,100
[All gasp]
1241
01:21:39,400 --> 01:21:41,700
♫ [Madonna] Living in a material world
1242
01:21:42,000 --> 01:21:44,200
♫ And I am a material girl
1243
01:21:44,500 --> 01:21:48,600
♫ You know that we are living
in a material world
1244
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:51,400
♫ And I am a material girl
1245
01:21:52,700 --> 01:21:55,700
♫ Living in a material world
1246
01:21:56,100 --> 01:21:59,000
♫ And I am a material girl?
1247
01:22:00,500 --> 01:22:02,700
If you want something smooth
on your wall,
1248
01:22:03,000 --> 01:22:04,900
you could do worse than John Currin.
1249
01:22:05,100 --> 01:22:08,100
He is about the only
contemporary painter who can paint.
1250
01:22:08,500 --> 01:22:11,600
There's usually something
interesting and allegorical,
1251
01:22:11,900 --> 01:22:14,700
plus of course,
there is a very high perv quotient.
1252
01:22:15,100 --> 01:22:17,400
- [Mark] Did you see her?
- Cut. Cut it.
1253
01:22:17,700 --> 01:22:20,000
Sorry, everyone, sorry. It's my stalker.
1254
01:22:21,300 --> 01:22:23,700
Fuck off, Darcy,
some people have jobs to do.
1255
01:22:24,600 --> 01:22:28,200
Did you see her surrounded by police,
dogs, handcuffs?
1256
01:22:28,500 --> 01:22:31,900
Come on, she's a big girl,
she can take care of herself.
1257
01:22:32,300 --> 01:22:35,500
I'm only going to ask you one more time.
Did you see her?
1258
01:22:35,800 --> 01:22:38,100
You're only gonna ask me one more time?
1259
01:22:38,400 --> 01:22:41,800
- You haven't got your wig on now, dear.
- I'll take that as a yes.
1260
01:22:42,200 --> 01:22:44,400
Yes, I did see her.
1261
01:22:44,600 --> 01:22:47,900
I thought she was smuggling seashells,
or mangoes.
1262
01:22:48,200 --> 01:22:49,500
Right.
1263
01:22:49,800 --> 01:22:53,900
Right, good.
Will you step outside, please?
1264
01:22:54,300 --> 01:22:56,500
Oh, no, it's not possible.
1265
01:22:56,700 --> 01:23:00,100
Darcy, do you have any idea
what century we actually live in?
1266
01:23:00,400 --> 01:23:03,700
Are you gonna step outside
or am I gonna have to drag you?
1267
01:23:04,000 --> 01:23:06,200
I think you're gonna have to drag me.
1268
01:23:06,500 --> 01:23:08,500
[Birds cry]
1269
01:23:08,800 --> 01:23:11,500
[♫ The Darkness:
I Believe In A Thing Called Love]
1270
01:23:11,800 --> 01:23:15,200
- [Daniel] You're insane!
- And you're a disgrace, Cleaver.
1271
01:23:16,000 --> 01:23:18,100
[Daniel] You're pulling my hair!
1272
01:23:18,400 --> 01:23:21,400
I'm not going in the sodding water.
1273
01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:28,900
♫ Touching you
'Cause you're touching me
1274
01:23:31,400 --> 01:23:33,100
♫ I believe in a thing called love
1275
01:23:33,400 --> 01:23:35,200
♫ Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
1276
01:23:35,500 --> 01:23:36,900
♫ There's a chance we can make it now
1277
01:23:37,100 --> 01:23:38,900
♫ We'll be rockin'
till the sun goes down
1278
01:23:39,200 --> 01:23:42,300
♫ I believe in a thing called love
1279
01:23:42,700 --> 01:23:45,100
♫ Oooh-ooh ooh...
1280
01:23:45,400 --> 01:23:47,900
- Fuck off!
- No, you're going in, Cleaver!
1281
01:23:48,200 --> 01:23:50,800
If I'm going in, you're coming with me.
1282
01:23:51,100 --> 01:23:52,900
You smug bastard.
1283
01:23:53,200 --> 01:23:55,000
[Clamoring]
1284
01:23:55,300 --> 01:23:57,400
- [Daniel] Oh, my God.
- Get up.
1285
01:23:57,700 --> 01:23:59,600
[Child laughs]
1286
01:24:01,200 --> 01:24:03,100
Well, what are you gonna do now?
1287
01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:05,700
Drown me in 16 inches of water?
1288
01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:07,700
Yes, good idea.
1289
01:24:14,400 --> 01:24:15,900
Fuck! Stop, stop.
1290
01:24:16,100 --> 01:24:18,100
Listen, listen, listen...
1291
01:24:18,400 --> 01:24:22,500
OK, I left her at the airport.
I shouldn't have done that.
1292
01:24:23,700 --> 01:24:25,700
But she bumped into Jed herself
1293
01:24:26,000 --> 01:24:28,700
and I didn't fucking well seduce her,
all right?
1294
01:24:30,100 --> 01:24:32,700
- You didn't?
- There's something wrong with her.
1295
01:24:33,000 --> 01:24:34,700
She's gone all frigid.
1296
01:24:35,000 --> 01:24:37,200
I spent the night
with a gorgeous Thai girl.
1297
01:24:37,500 --> 01:24:40,200
Who in fact turned out to be
a gorgeous Thai boy.
1298
01:24:41,100 --> 01:24:42,500
Satisfied?
1299
01:24:45,200 --> 01:24:46,800
Yes.
1300
01:24:47,100 --> 01:24:48,600
Thank you.
1301
01:24:53,400 --> 01:24:55,300
You know what, mate?
1302
01:24:56,000 --> 01:25:00,000
If you're so obsessed with Bridget
Jones, why don't you just marry her?
1303
01:25:01,900 --> 01:25:04,200
'Cause then she'd definitely shag me.
1304
01:25:06,100 --> 01:25:07,700
♫ I believe in a thing called love
1305
01:25:07,900 --> 01:25:09,600
♫ Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
1306
01:25:09,800 --> 01:25:13,000
♫ I believe in a thing called love?
1307
01:25:14,300 --> 01:25:17,000
- [Man] Bridget!
- [Second man] Bridget! Over here!
1308
01:25:17,200 --> 01:25:18,300
[Reporters shout]
1309
01:25:18,600 --> 01:25:20,800
- What was it like?
- How did you survive?
1310
01:25:21,100 --> 01:25:25,300
Any girl who's been single in London
knows how to handle herself.
1311
01:25:25,700 --> 01:25:28,200
- Darling!
- [Man] Will you be going back?
1312
01:25:28,500 --> 01:25:31,000
Sorry I didn't write.
I've just been so busy.
1313
01:25:31,300 --> 01:25:34,100
Hello, darling. You look lovely.
1314
01:25:34,400 --> 01:25:37,100
- Skinny, but lovely.
- Oh, thank you.
1315
01:25:37,500 --> 01:25:40,400
- [Reporters shout]
- Oh, it's good to be home.
1316
01:25:40,700 --> 01:25:43,000
- [Mr. Jones] Ciggy?
- No, no, thanks.
1317
01:25:43,300 --> 01:25:46,400
- I've given up again.
- Shame. I find them very useful.
1318
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:50,700
I take great comfort in the fact they
might kill me before things get worse.
1319
01:25:59,400 --> 01:26:02,400
The Darcys rang to say how pleased
they were you were out.
1320
01:26:03,300 --> 01:26:06,000
I rather thought Mark might be here
to meet you.
1321
01:26:06,400 --> 01:26:08,800
Yes, but you must remember we split up.
1322
01:26:09,100 --> 01:26:11,300
So no hope there?
1323
01:26:11,500 --> 01:26:13,400
No hope there.
1324
01:26:13,700 --> 01:26:18,500
Believe me,
next time I will not fuck it up, Mum.
1325
01:26:18,900 --> 01:26:21,000
- Language, darling.
- Sorry.
1326
01:26:22,200 --> 01:26:25,600
Next time, I will not fuck it up...
1327
01:26:26,500 --> 01:26:28,700
...Mother.
- [Mr. Jones laughs]
1328
01:26:29,200 --> 01:26:31,100
[♫ Robbie Williams: Misunderstood]
1329
01:26:31,400 --> 01:26:33,500
♫ Trying to be misunderstood
1330
01:26:38,100 --> 01:26:41,600
♫ But it doesn't do me any good
1331
01:26:46,200 --> 01:26:49,800
♫ Love the way they smiled at me
1332
01:26:50,100 --> 01:26:53,500
♫ Hold that face for eternity
1333
01:26:54,400 --> 01:26:58,200
♫ Now let them all fly off
1334
01:27:01,500 --> 01:27:04,500
♫ When it comes down
1335
01:27:05,300 --> 01:27:08,800
♫ It all comes down
1336
01:27:10,300 --> 01:27:14,000
♫ And you will not be found
1337
01:27:17,500 --> 01:27:20,500
♫ When it's over
1338
01:27:21,200 --> 01:27:24,200
♫ It's all over
1339
01:27:26,400 --> 01:27:29,500
♫ Even if I make a sound...
1340
01:27:36,900 --> 01:27:38,500
Surprise!
1341
01:27:38,800 --> 01:27:40,600
- Hello.
- Hello.
1342
01:27:40,800 --> 01:27:42,700
- [Tom] Oh, darling.
- Hiya.
1343
01:27:43,500 --> 01:27:44,900
Bridget...
1344
01:27:45,200 --> 01:27:47,000
I'm so sorry.
1345
01:27:48,800 --> 01:27:50,900
It's all right.
1346
01:27:54,500 --> 01:27:58,300
Well, thank God for Mark Darcy.
I mean, he might be a boring arse,
1347
01:27:58,700 --> 01:28:00,700
but he performed a miracle.
1348
01:28:02,000 --> 01:28:04,400
That's a bit of an overstatement.
1349
01:28:05,200 --> 01:28:07,800
He actually seems
to be the villain of this piece.
1350
01:28:08,600 --> 01:28:13,200
He's a top human rights lawyer and he
left it to someone else to get me out.
1351
01:28:13,600 --> 01:28:15,600
He was just a messenger.
1352
01:28:16,700 --> 01:28:19,400
- [Tom] Who told you that?
- He did.
1353
01:28:19,700 --> 01:28:21,600
Straight from the horse's mouth.
1354
01:28:22,700 --> 01:28:25,300
The horse wasn't quite
telling you the truth.
1355
01:28:25,600 --> 01:28:27,900
I called Mark
the minute I landed in London.
1356
01:28:28,200 --> 01:28:30,500
We went to his office
and within half an hour,
1357
01:28:30,800 --> 01:28:33,700
he'd woken two Cabinet ministers
and half of Ml5.
1358
01:28:33,900 --> 01:28:37,800
But none of them could locate Jed,
so Mark flew over to Interpol.
1359
01:28:38,200 --> 01:28:40,500
Which is in Lyon.
They located Jed in Dubai,
1360
01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:43,300
but they don't normally
extradite people,
1361
01:28:43,500 --> 01:28:46,800
so Mark rang the Home Secretary
who rang our ambassador...
1362
01:28:47,100 --> 01:28:50,300
In Riyadh. Then Mark flew to Dubai
where he identified Jed,
1363
01:28:50,600 --> 01:28:52,800
who was impounded and pushed out into...
1364
01:28:53,100 --> 01:28:56,000
Saudi Arabia, where Mark was waiting
with the police.
1365
01:28:56,200 --> 01:29:00,500
Jed was arrested and extradited back
to Britain. Then Mark flew to Bangkok,
1366
01:29:00,800 --> 01:29:03,800
to make damn sure they'd let you go.
1367
01:29:04,900 --> 01:29:06,500
Oh.
1368
01:29:10,800 --> 01:29:13,400
He was just angry about Daniel Cleaver.
1369
01:29:16,300 --> 01:29:19,200
- He must still love me.
- He fucking must.
1370
01:29:19,800 --> 01:29:21,500
Taxi?
1371
01:29:21,800 --> 01:29:23,100
Yes, please.
1372
01:29:24,900 --> 01:29:27,000
[All shriek]
1373
01:29:27,300 --> 01:29:29,400
Get in the cab!
1374
01:29:29,600 --> 01:29:31,600
[All shout]
1375
01:29:33,200 --> 01:29:34,800
Hurry!
1376
01:29:59,100 --> 01:30:02,700
Oh. I forgot about you.
1377
01:30:04,000 --> 01:30:06,800
Er, I, I, I just wanted to, um...
1378
01:30:07,100 --> 01:30:09,100
say something to Mark.
1379
01:30:09,400 --> 01:30:11,700
He's at the office.
Do you want to come in?
1380
01:30:13,100 --> 01:30:16,300
Oh, no. No, no, I don't think I will.
1381
01:30:17,800 --> 01:30:21,100
I really hope
that you'll be happy together.
1382
01:30:21,400 --> 01:30:23,400
- Sorry?
- You and Mark.
1383
01:30:23,700 --> 01:30:27,500
I really hope that you'll be
very happy together.
1384
01:30:27,800 --> 01:30:29,800
No, no, no, Bridget, listen...
1385
01:30:30,100 --> 01:30:32,400
you've got it completely wrong.
1386
01:30:32,700 --> 01:30:34,900
I'm not in love with him.
1387
01:30:35,100 --> 01:30:37,300
How could I be when I'm...
1388
01:30:37,600 --> 01:30:40,600
seriously heartbroken
and smitten with someone else?
1389
01:30:42,100 --> 01:30:44,100
Someone else?
1390
01:30:44,400 --> 01:30:47,000
- You, Bridget.
- Me?
1391
01:30:47,800 --> 01:30:51,200
Ever since I saw you here
with your hair messed that night
1392
01:30:51,600 --> 01:30:54,400
and bits of garden stuck to you.
You must have noticed.
1393
01:30:54,700 --> 01:30:58,800
I try to hide it,
but every time I see you, I light up.
1394
01:31:01,200 --> 01:31:03,500
I thought you were just, you know...
1395
01:31:04,600 --> 01:31:05,700
...lying.
1396
01:31:06,000 --> 01:31:08,100
Was every look I ever gave you a lie?
1397
01:31:08,300 --> 01:31:10,000
I've been looking forward to this.
1398
01:31:10,200 --> 01:31:12,400
Lovely to see you, Bridget.
1399
01:31:30,600 --> 01:31:32,700
- [Rebecca sighs]
- Thank you very much.
1400
01:31:34,200 --> 01:31:36,200
That was lovely.
1401
01:31:37,700 --> 01:31:39,500
Really lovely.
1402
01:31:39,800 --> 01:31:42,200
But I'm afraid it's still men
in general,
1403
01:31:42,500 --> 01:31:46,100
and Mark Darcy in particular,
that I love.
1404
01:31:46,600 --> 01:31:47,900
Right.
1405
01:31:50,000 --> 01:31:53,800
If, er, if I ever do decide to, um...
1406
01:31:54,500 --> 01:31:57,200
you know, bat for the other side...
1407
01:31:58,600 --> 01:32:00,900
...well, there's no-one else.
1408
01:32:01,800 --> 01:32:03,100
Only you.
1409
01:32:06,000 --> 01:32:07,900
[♫ Jamie Cullum: Everlasting Love]
1410
01:32:10,900 --> 01:32:13,500
- Hello, Giles.
- Hello, Bridget.
1411
01:32:15,300 --> 01:32:17,300
♫ Open up your eyes
1412
01:32:17,600 --> 01:32:19,200
♫ Then you'll realize
1413
01:32:19,500 --> 01:32:21,100
♫ Here I stand with my
1414
01:32:21,400 --> 01:32:23,200
♫ Everlasting love
1415
01:32:23,400 --> 01:32:25,200
♫ Need you by my side
1416
01:32:25,500 --> 01:32:27,100
♫ Girl, to be my bride
1417
01:32:27,400 --> 01:32:29,000
♫ You'll never be denied...
1418
01:32:29,200 --> 01:32:31,700
Inns of Court, please. Fast as you can.
1419
01:32:36,000 --> 01:32:38,500
What do you think of this jacket?
1420
01:32:38,800 --> 01:32:41,300
- Yeah, very nice indeed.
- No, be honest.
1421
01:32:41,600 --> 01:32:44,800
What do you think of the whole
jacket/trouser combination?
1422
01:32:45,600 --> 01:32:49,400
- Disaster.
- Actually, can we take a tiny detour?
1423
01:32:50,600 --> 01:32:53,200
I'll be back in literally two seconds.
1424
01:32:55,000 --> 01:32:57,000
♫ Where life really flows
1425
01:32:57,300 --> 01:32:58,700
♫ No-one really knows
1426
01:32:59,000 --> 01:33:00,500
♫ Till someone's there to show
1427
01:33:00,800 --> 01:33:02,400
♫ The way to lasting love
1428
01:33:02,700 --> 01:33:06,100
♫ Need a love to last forever
1429
01:33:06,600 --> 01:33:09,800
♫ Need a love to last forever...
1430
01:33:16,100 --> 01:33:17,800
Oh.
1431
01:33:22,400 --> 01:33:25,500
[♫ Barry White:
You're My First, My Last, My Everything]
1432
01:33:29,500 --> 01:33:31,100
♫ You're the first
1433
01:33:31,300 --> 01:33:32,900
♫ The last
1434
01:33:33,200 --> 01:33:35,000
♫ My everything
1435
01:33:36,800 --> 01:33:38,900
♫ And the answer to
1436
01:33:39,700 --> 01:33:41,800
♫ All my dreams
1437
01:33:44,400 --> 01:33:45,900
♫ You're my sun
1438
01:33:46,100 --> 01:33:47,500
♫ My moon
1439
01:33:49,200 --> 01:33:51,000
♫ My guiding star
1440
01:33:52,600 --> 01:33:54,900
♫ My kind of wonderful
1441
01:33:56,400 --> 01:33:58,100
♫ That's what you are...
1442
01:33:59,600 --> 01:34:02,000
- You look gorgeous.
- Thank you.
1443
01:34:02,200 --> 01:34:04,700
Very important at this moment.
1444
01:34:06,600 --> 01:34:08,700
♫ There's no way
1445
01:34:09,300 --> 01:34:11,600
-♫ They could have made two...
- [shrieks]
1446
01:34:12,900 --> 01:34:15,000
Doesn't matter. It's not about looks.
1447
01:34:16,000 --> 01:34:17,600
[Shrieks]
1448
01:34:17,800 --> 01:34:21,200
-♫ Your love I'll keep for evermore
- As I was saying.
1449
01:34:21,600 --> 01:34:22,900
♫ You're the first...
1450
01:34:23,600 --> 01:34:26,600
Excuse me, I'm looking for Mr. Darcy.
1451
01:34:26,900 --> 01:34:30,000
Down there, right along the corridor,
and just to the left.
1452
01:34:30,400 --> 01:34:32,100
Thank you very much.
1453
01:34:32,300 --> 01:34:35,100
[♫ Beyoncé: Crazy In Love]
1454
01:34:41,900 --> 01:34:44,400
♫ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no
1455
01:34:44,800 --> 01:34:46,700
♫ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no
1456
01:34:46,900 --> 01:34:49,000
♫ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no
1457
01:34:49,300 --> 01:34:51,400
♫ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no...
1458
01:34:53,100 --> 01:34:55,800
I love you.
I always have and I always will.
1459
01:34:58,900 --> 01:35:01,000
Oh, um...
1460
01:35:01,200 --> 01:35:04,400
I don't love you,
and I never have, and...
1461
01:35:05,200 --> 01:35:07,600
...I never will. Sorry.
1462
01:35:18,000 --> 01:35:19,700
Come in.
1463
01:35:25,300 --> 01:35:27,300
Hello, Bridget.
1464
01:35:27,600 --> 01:35:29,500
Hello, Mark.
1465
01:35:30,200 --> 01:35:31,900
Er...
1466
01:35:32,700 --> 01:35:34,600
I'm sorry, I'm disturbing you.
1467
01:35:36,900 --> 01:35:39,600
- Well, yes, a bit.
- I'll just...
1468
01:35:39,900 --> 01:35:42,000
sit outside while you finish.
1469
01:35:42,300 --> 01:35:46,500
No, no, no, please,
say what you have to say, young lady.
1470
01:35:47,700 --> 01:35:50,800
Mr. Santiago
is the Peruvian Secretary for Trade.
1471
01:35:51,700 --> 01:35:53,800
And Mr. Hernández is his number two.
1472
01:35:55,000 --> 01:35:56,900
Hello. [chuckles]
1473
01:35:57,200 --> 01:35:58,700
Hello.
1474
01:35:59,600 --> 01:36:01,600
Hello, hello, hello. [laughs]
1475
01:36:06,200 --> 01:36:08,400
How can we help you, young lady?
1476
01:36:09,600 --> 01:36:11,300
Well, er...
1477
01:36:12,600 --> 01:36:14,500
Er... [Bridget laughs]
1478
01:36:14,800 --> 01:36:17,400
I just wanted to tell Mr. Darcy here
1479
01:36:17,700 --> 01:36:22,300
that I heard what magnificent work
1480
01:36:22,700 --> 01:36:25,600
he actually did
releasing me from prison.
1481
01:36:25,900 --> 01:36:27,800
[Muttering]
1482
01:36:28,100 --> 01:36:33,900
Tiny, tiny misunderstanding to do
with an enormous stash of cocaine.
1483
01:36:34,300 --> 01:36:36,900
And I also wanted to say,
1484
01:36:37,200 --> 01:36:41,200
since having found out that his
girlfriend is actually a lesbian...
1485
01:36:41,600 --> 01:36:43,300
[man coughs]
1486
01:36:44,800 --> 01:36:46,400
...that I love him.
1487
01:36:49,700 --> 01:36:52,600
Always have. Always will.
1488
01:36:54,200 --> 01:36:57,000
And that I'm...
1489
01:36:58,200 --> 01:36:59,600
...you know...
1490
01:37:00,300 --> 01:37:02,200
...available for dates...
1491
01:37:02,900 --> 01:37:05,400
...if he should feel so inclined.
1492
01:37:10,100 --> 01:37:12,700
So, er, your girlfriend is a lesbian.
1493
01:37:14,100 --> 01:37:17,600
Look, if you'll all just excuse us
for a second...
1494
01:37:18,400 --> 01:37:20,100
I think we should...
1495
01:37:38,400 --> 01:37:42,100
Bridget, that was not the most romantic
proposition I've ever heard.
1496
01:37:43,300 --> 01:37:45,800
Well, maybe it is romantic
1497
01:37:46,100 --> 01:37:48,400
because it's not. I mean...
1498
01:37:48,700 --> 01:37:52,200
I know there's no music playing,
and it's not snowing,
1499
01:37:53,400 --> 01:37:58,700
but that doesn't mean that it,
that it can't really be something.
1500
01:38:01,200 --> 01:38:03,100
You're right.
1501
01:38:05,200 --> 01:38:08,100
In fact, there's a question
I've been meaning to ask you.
1502
01:38:08,400 --> 01:38:11,500
All right. As long as it's not
"Will you marry me?"
1503
01:38:18,400 --> 01:38:21,600
Oh, God.
It is "Will you marry me?"
1504
01:38:22,000 --> 01:38:24,200
Well, I'm not gonna say it now.
1505
01:38:24,500 --> 01:38:27,000
- Is it "Will you marry me?"
- The moment's gone.
1506
01:38:27,300 --> 01:38:29,400
No. No, no, no. No, wait.
1507
01:38:30,300 --> 01:38:31,800
Wait.
1508
01:38:32,100 --> 01:38:33,400
- Bridget.
- Start again.
1509
01:38:33,700 --> 01:38:35,600
- No.
- Start again.
1510
01:38:35,800 --> 01:38:37,700
I'm not gonna... It's...
1511
01:38:38,000 --> 01:38:41,300
We've just stepped out
into the corridor,
1512
01:38:41,700 --> 01:38:43,800
you say "I've got a question to ask you"
1513
01:38:44,100 --> 01:38:46,200
and I don't say anything.
1514
01:38:52,100 --> 01:38:54,200
And... then...
1515
01:38:55,500 --> 01:38:57,000
You say...
1516
01:39:05,300 --> 01:39:08,000
Bridget Jones, will you marry me?
1517
01:39:29,500 --> 01:39:33,100
[Vicar] Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here this day
1518
01:39:33,400 --> 01:39:36,000
to unite this couple.
1519
01:39:36,600 --> 01:39:39,600
Do you affirm your love,
one to the other?
1520
01:39:40,800 --> 01:39:43,000
I do. Again.
1521
01:39:43,200 --> 01:39:45,000
And Colin?
1522
01:39:45,300 --> 01:39:47,100
I do. Again.
1523
01:39:47,800 --> 01:39:49,800
As well. Of course.
1524
01:39:51,000 --> 01:39:53,600
[♫ Marvin Gaye: Let's Get It On]
1525
01:39:54,000 --> 01:39:57,700
♫ I've been really tryin', baby...
1526
01:39:59,800 --> 01:40:03,600
[Bridget]
December 31st, year-end summary.
1527
01:40:03,900 --> 01:40:06,000
Prison stays, one.
1528
01:40:06,200 --> 01:40:08,900
Lesbian kisses, one.
1529
01:40:09,100 --> 01:40:11,400
Pounds lost, minus one.
1530
01:40:11,700 --> 01:40:16,000
Boyfriends lost but then regained
following major diplomatic incident,
1531
01:40:16,400 --> 01:40:18,300
one.
1532
01:40:18,600 --> 01:40:21,400
Marriage proposals, one.
1533
01:40:21,700 --> 01:40:24,100
An excellent year's progress.
1534
01:40:24,300 --> 01:40:29,100
Bridget Jones has cocked things up
for the very last time.
1535
01:40:30,400 --> 01:40:32,100
[Shrieks]
1536
01:40:34,900 --> 01:40:37,100
♫ [Will Young] Your love is king
1537
01:40:38,300 --> 01:40:40,300
♫ Crown you in my heart
1538
01:40:40,600 --> 01:40:42,500
♫ Your love is king
1539
01:40:43,600 --> 01:40:45,200
♫ Never need to part
1540
01:40:45,500 --> 01:40:47,900
♫ Your kisses ring
1541
01:40:48,900 --> 01:40:51,500
♫ Round and round and round my head
1542
01:40:51,700 --> 01:40:53,900
♫ Touching the very part of me
1543
01:40:54,200 --> 01:40:56,400
♫ It's making my soul sing
1544
01:40:56,600 --> 01:40:59,100
♫ Tearing the very heart of me
1545
01:40:59,300 --> 01:41:01,500
♫ I'm crying out for more
1546
01:41:01,800 --> 01:41:03,700
♫ Your love is king
1547
01:41:05,000 --> 01:41:06,800
♫ Crown you in my heart
1548
01:41:07,100 --> 01:41:09,200
♫ Your love is king...
1549
01:41:09,400 --> 01:41:14,200
[Bridget] So, as you can see,
I have found my happy ending at last.
1550
01:41:14,600 --> 01:41:19,500
And I truly believe
that happiness is possible.
1551
01:41:22,500 --> 01:41:26,500
Even when you're 33 and have a bottom
the size of two bowling balls.
1552
01:41:26,900 --> 01:41:30,300
♫ Your love is real?
1553
01:41:34,200 --> 01:41:36,400
[♫ Beyoncé: Crazy In Love]
1554
01:41:44,000 --> 01:41:46,300
♫ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no
1555
01:41:46,600 --> 01:41:48,700
♫ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no
1556
01:41:49,000 --> 01:41:51,100
♫ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no
1557
01:41:51,400 --> 01:41:53,400
♫ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no
1558
01:41:58,600 --> 01:42:00,900
♫ I look and stare so deep in your eyes
1559
01:42:01,200 --> 01:42:03,300
♫ Touch on you more and more every time
1560
01:42:03,600 --> 01:42:05,700
♫ When you leave
I'm begging you not to go
1561
01:42:06,000 --> 01:42:08,100
♫ Call your name
two, three times in a row
1562
01:42:08,400 --> 01:42:10,500
♫ Such a funny thing for me
to try to explain
1563
01:42:10,800 --> 01:42:13,300
♫ How I'm feeling
and my pride is the one to blame
1564
01:42:13,600 --> 01:42:15,500
♫ 'Cause I know I don't understand
1565
01:42:15,700 --> 01:42:18,200
♫ Just how your love can do
what no-one else can
1566
01:42:18,400 --> 01:42:19,900
♫ Got me lookin'so crazy right now
1567
01:42:20,200 --> 01:42:22,200
♫ Your love's got me lookin'so crazy
right now
1568
01:42:22,500 --> 01:42:24,600
♫ Your love's
Got me lookin'so crazy right now
1569
01:42:24,900 --> 01:42:27,200
♫ Your touch got me lookin'so crazy
right now
1570
01:42:27,500 --> 01:42:29,600
♫ Your love's
Got me hopin' you'll page me right now
1571
01:42:29,900 --> 01:42:32,200
♫ Your kiss got me hoping
you'll save me right now
1572
01:42:32,500 --> 01:42:34,400
♫ Lookin'so crazy
Your love's got me lookin'
1573
01:42:34,700 --> 01:42:37,000
♫ Got me lookin'so crazy in love
1574
01:42:37,400 --> 01:42:39,600
♫ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no
1575
01:42:39,900 --> 01:42:42,000
♫ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no
1576
01:42:42,300 --> 01:42:44,400
♫ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no
1577
01:42:44,700 --> 01:42:46,800
♫ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no...
1578
01:42:47,100 --> 01:42:49,300
[♫ Jamie Cullum: Everlasting Love]
1579
01:42:54,700 --> 01:42:57,300
♫ Hearts gone astray
1580
01:42:57,500 --> 01:43:00,700
♫ Deep in her when they go
1581
01:43:02,400 --> 01:43:04,600
♫ I went away
1582
01:43:04,900 --> 01:43:08,300
♫ Just when you needed me so
1583
01:43:10,100 --> 01:43:12,300
♫ You won't regret
1584
01:43:12,600 --> 01:43:15,900
♫ I'll come back begging you
1585
01:43:16,600 --> 01:43:17,600
♫ Hmm
1586
01:43:17,800 --> 01:43:19,600
♫ Won't you forget
1587
01:43:19,900 --> 01:43:25,800
♫ Welcome love we once knew
1588
01:43:27,700 --> 01:43:31,200
♫ Open up your eyes
Then you'll realize
1589
01:43:31,600 --> 01:43:34,800
♫ Here I stand with my everlasting love
1590
01:43:35,100 --> 01:43:38,600
♫ I need you by my side
Girl to be my pride
1591
01:43:39,000 --> 01:43:47,200
♫ You'll never be denied
everlasting love
1592
01:43:50,100 --> 01:43:52,600
♫ Hearts gone astray
1593
01:43:52,900 --> 01:43:56,000
♫ Deep in her when they go
1594
01:43:57,500 --> 01:43:59,800
♫ I went away
1595
01:44:00,400 --> 01:44:03,700
♫ Just when you needed me so
1596
01:44:05,200 --> 01:44:07,800
♫ You won't regret
1597
01:44:08,100 --> 01:44:11,500
♫ I'll come back begging you
1598
01:44:12,900 --> 01:44:15,000
♫ Won't you forget
1599
01:44:15,300 --> 01:44:21,100
♫ Welcome love we once knew
1600
01:44:23,000 --> 01:44:26,400
♫ Open up your eyes
Then you'll realize
1601
01:44:26,800 --> 01:44:30,400
♫ Here I stand with my everlasting love
1602
01:44:30,600 --> 01:44:34,000
♫ Need you by my side
Girl to be my pride
1603
01:44:34,400 --> 01:44:37,700
♫ You'll never be denied
everlasting love
1604
01:44:38,000 --> 01:44:41,600
♫ From the very start
Open up your heart
1605
01:44:42,000 --> 01:44:52,200
♫ Feel that you fall in everlasting love
1606
01:44:52,700 --> 01:44:56,400
♫ Need a love to last forever
1607
01:44:56,800 --> 01:45:00,200
♫ Need a love to last forever
1608
01:45:00,600 --> 01:45:04,000
♫ Need a love to last forever
1609
01:45:04,300 --> 01:45:16,600
♫ Need a love to last forever?