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♪ I got my heart
♪ My hands, my family, your friends ♪
♪ My soul, my song
♪ But keep on pushing on
♪ Nothing me can stop me
♪ 'Cause I know what's mine
♪ I'm gonna light up
♪ And let it shine
- Not bad, guys.
So, what do you think?
- That's hot, and we're hot playing it.
- Just missing one thing.
- I swear, it would be easier for me
to skin a cow and make my own drum kit,
than it would be to find a decent girl drummer around here.
- You wouldn't really skin a cow, would you Pearl?
- Hey, did ask at the store downtown?
- Only four girls take lessons there.
Two are just beginning, one has a band already,
and the last has a dad that thinks
rock is Satan's tool, so.
- You know, it doesn't have to be a girl.
We could use a little testosterone in here.
- Yeah, Stef, I know you'd love it
if we stacked cute boys along the back wall,
but I really want my music to be empowering to other girls.
I've got seven months
'til the Grammy Camp deadline and a ton of cash to raise.
- Don't worry, Pearl, you'll make it.
- The competition is fierce, Kara.
The top two campus get to go on tour
with Torno Pilots and Luminous Hearts for two weeks.
And I mean, I have no idea how
I'm actually going to raise this money.
My dad said he'd cover half, but who knows?
- How much do you really need?
- 5,000, less the 612 I've raised over the past ten months.
- That's like, what, four--
- If we can find a drummer, get a few gigs,
my dad actually comes through with this money--
- Hey, chatting isn't getting us anywhere.
Let's play.
- Uh, do you wanna start at the top of her song?
- And don't forget, Flossy Frog is your friend, bye.
Sugar? - Mm?
- I'm having trouble reading on of your codes on this chart.
- Which one?
- Um, LB2, the second bicuspid, DC1 descending canine,
oh, here, what is the one that looks like HDA?
- Oh, that's a new code, hot dad alert, mm-hmm.
- Seriously? - Yes, mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm? - Oh, he's hot.
- Look, I appreciated the bad breath warning,
but can you at least faint a tiny bit of decorum?
I didn't exactly hire you for your name.
- Oh, no.
My mama gave me a perfectly acceptable southern name,
and it suits me to a T.
Get it.
- Okay, but a grown woman named Sugar Cain
in a dentist's office is a bit ironic, don't you think?
- I know your mama, mm-hmm.
You're lucky she had you 40 years ago
'cause in her present state,
she would have named you Pop Song.
- Ah, this morning she asked me
to brush the back of her hair with a remote control.
- Bless her heart.
- Yeah, well, anyway, no more hot dad alerts.
I'm in no position to do anything about it
even if they are single.
- Hey, listen.
You're too young and too pretty
to waste away in the mom mobile for the rest of your life.
- You know, I like my life, thank you very much.
Anyway, keep the codes tooth relevant.
We do get audited, you know.
- Dr. Song's dentist office.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- I'm Dr. Song.
- I'm Cole and this is my daughter, Janis.
- Nice to meet you, Janis.
- Hi, I'm Janis.
I was named after the famous musician, Janis Joplin.
- I love Janis Joplin.
Let's take a look.
- Um, Janis is a little bit nervous about dentists.
- Mm-hmm.
- Ah, you got recommended
on the deaf chat boards.
How did you come to learn ASL?
- Oh, my ex had a little brother that was deaf.
It's a comfort to some of my younger patients.
Don't talk to my 14 year old daughter, though.
She delights in the fact that her favorite uncle,
taught her all the bad words in sign language.
- Well, you, ah, have a teenager?
- Yes, indeed, in fact.
Well, it looks like your dad just earned a lollipop, too.
- You have grape?
- What kind of two-bit operation
do you think we're running here?
- I'm not sure.
- Let's get to work.
Open your mouth.
You can sing a Janis Joplin song
while we're doing this, if you'd like.
Mm-hmm, great teeth, who's your dentist?
Well, Janis, it looks like you need a filling,
but I have some giggle juice that will fix you right up,
and you won't feel a thing.
Unless I lose control of my tickle hand.
Ah, I will be right back.
- She seems nice.
Tell me the truth, was it you?
Did you eat the cookies?
- I'm not scared, Daddy.
She's really nice.
- Yeah, sweetheart, she is really nice.
- And she has a daughter about the same age as me,
and her breath doesn't smell like bologna like Dr. Dustbins.
- His name is Dr. Dreslin,
and no she doesn't smell like bologna.
- And she's single.
Did you notice that she has an ex?
- And single.
- She signs and she's smart.
- I noticed.
- She's really pretty.
Did you notice that?
- Yes, sweetheart, I think Dr. Song is very smart.
She's nice and she's very, very pretty.
And she's probably standing right behind me right now.
Isn't she?
- Yes, daddy.
- You think there's any chance she didn't hear all that?
- Nope.
- Hmm.
- Um, I'm sorry to interrupt but I forgot to ask
our patient if she prefers bubblegum, peppermint
or chocolate flavor.
- I think our little troublemaker
would like chocolate.
- Okay.
- Way to go.
- Mira, was I wrong?
- Oh no.
He's very attractive.
- He's yummy.
Did I mention he's a widower?
- And where did you get that piece of information?
- Ooh let me talk--
- I don't wanna know what laws you've broken
in the interest of playing matchmaker.
- Ooh, right there.
- Oh, hey.
- Bye, Dr. Song.
- Yeah, thank you so much.
I've never seen my daughter smile
leaving the dentist before.
- Oh well she is a joy.
And don't forget, Janis.
Flossy frog is your boyfriend.
I mean friend.
He's not your boyfriend, that's crazy.
I don't know why I.
Don't forget to floss.
- Oh, bye.
- You've been hitting the novocaine, doc?
'Cause you're drooling a little bit
like right there.
What was that?
- I don't know.
- So um,
I was thinking maybe we could do coffee sometime?
Or not, um.
Yeah, you probably get this all the time.
Um, I'm sorry, I'm not good at this.
Bye.
- I'd love to sometime get coffee, sure.
- Okay.
- Um, I'll call you.
- Okay.
Did I just agree to a date?
- Well, it's hard to say since
there really wasn't a complete sentence
in the entire exchange?
- Why did I just say yes?
- 'Cause he's hot and single.
And you haven't gotten any in three years,
and roomie, I don't think that's good for you.
- Stop it, I have a very full life.
- Mhmm.
- Very full, and it's not going anywhere.
But no one's gonna knowingly take on my lovely baggage.
- Who said anything about luggage?
It's just coffee.
And then maybe some dessert later, okay?
- Okay, get out of here!
So what do you do?
- I um,
- Dog manicurist with a little brain surgery on the side?
- Close, yeah.
No.
I uh, I opened up my own gym about a year ago.
And I used to be an MMA fighter.
I decided to finally pursue my dreams, I guess.
- Good for you.
Yeah that's brave, with a kid too
to take a chance like that.
- Yeah.
Sometimes stepping out of that ring makes me feel old.
But most of the time, makes me feel younger.
- It's kind of like parenting.
- Yeah, but with far less bruises
and a lot less tears.
- Which?
Parenting or martial arts?
- Parenting.
- Super tough?
- Mhmm.
I haven't done this dating thing in a long time.
- Oh my.
You thought this was a date?
- Yeah, I mean I thought, um.
- I'm kidding.
No, I make stupid jokes when I'm nervous.
I haven't done this in a long while either.
- We'll get through it together.
So, uh, I know you're a dentist
unless that's just a front for your real gig,
touring ventriloquist act with Flossy the frog.
- Busted.
- Oh, come on old man.
You're gonna have to lay off the kid's happy meals
if you wanna keep up.
- I've flattened out punks bigger than you
long before you had your first burger.
- You know when you tell me how old you, are,
not just napkins come back.
- True.
So did I tell you I went on a date last night?
- Date?
Mmm.
You know what, I might be a little punch drunk
from that kick, but I thought you said something
about a date.
- Yeah, you did.
- Wow, really?
All right.
So you're telling me that after all this time
that I've been trying to help you out,
help you get hooked up,
you figured it out for yourself?
- Yeah.
- That's awesome, man.
Okay, well don't hold out on me.
Give me the deets, what's going on?
- I met her when I took Janis to the dentist.
- Oh, picking up ladies in the waiting room.
That is some advanced stuff.
- No, she actually was the dentist.
- Pff, even better.
Picking up doctors, that's dope.
Congrats.
All right, well.
Million dollar question.
Does she know?
- Oh no, no.
Way too early.
I mean I know it's impossible
but it's nice to sit down and talk
to a grownup for a change.
- Dude.
- No, no, someone not trying to punch my face in.
- Oh, well you know what,
she's a woman, give her time.
Oh, all right well,
tell me more about her.
What is she like?
Is she hot?
How old is she?
More importantly, does she have a gullible younger sister
that I can you know?
- She's gorgeous.
And, uh, forty-ish I'd say.
Smarter than me, like Sarah.
- Well to your credit, you have taken
a few more shots to the head.
So, when's the next date?
- I don't know.
How long are you supposed to wait anyways?
- My man, you've come to the right place
for advice about the ladies, all right?
Okay, first things first, all right?
You gotta stop being so nice all the time, all right?
Dude like I get it, that's probably your character.
It's lovely, but women like guys
who have a little bit more mystery going on,
little more edge.
All right, stop with the nice guy stuff, all right?
- Okay.
I mean I've been out of the game for a minute
but I think women like nice still.
And I'm pretty sure they don't like being called chicks.
- Whatever man, okay?
It's just, number two is your wardrobe, all right?
First of all, pick something that looks like
it came from this decade.
Second of all, show off those guns, dude.
Women love muscles, all right.
You know, show off the six pack, or.
All right, my bad.
But you know what I'm saying.
Just bring her to the gym.
She'll love that, seeing you flex and fight and stuff.
- Here's what I think.
I think your advice is about as on point
as your head kick and your sparring game.
So I say we get back to working on that.
- Right.
- So there was all this excitement and then
nine years later, it was all gone.
Hollywood stopped calling.
Grandma got sick.
We moved back to Michigan.
Dad tried to revive his career
but mom didn't wanna move back to LA.
Eventually she just moved to Sweden.
- Oh my gosh, that's unbelievable.
- Can't make this stuff up.
- But Mr. Bunsen is your dad?
- Yeah.
- TV's most lovable science teacher?
- Right.
- God, my, hah.
My brother in law Adam was obsessed with scientific method.
He used to beg us to watch it with him every Saturday.
- It's crazy, those episodes still air 30 years later.
Dad can't even walk down the street
without getting mugged for pictures and autographs.
But to tell you the truth, he loves it.
- I mean, that must have been a shadow.
I mean to a kid like Adam,
your dad was like this perfect adult
with all the answers.
Always there for those misfit kids.
But in reality it must have been hard to share your dad.
- It's funny, most people don't get that.
Like yeah, when we moved back to Michigan,
being Sam Bennett's son was a reason to get picked on.
They used to call me Hollyweird.
But that's what got me into martial arts,
to stand up for myself.
- It's a wonder why I became a dentist.
- Oh, that was good.
- It was fast.
- I know.
- You talking about the fighting,
it's funny how those certain moments in your childhood
change your path.
- So you became a dentist to extract the teeth
of your enemies?
- Well, yeah, yeah of course.
But no, no, I mean.
That 1983 blizzard when everything closed down
for a week?
My dad started reading Pearl S. Buck's "Good Earth"
aloud by the fire.
And the lights and the heat came back on
but we were so into it
we spent every night after that
huddled around the candle, listening.
- That's a really beautiful memory.
- Yeah.
And in hindsight, it explains my fascination
with Asia and other cultures.
It was like, it was this whole other world
no one knew anything about.
Now I have a daughter named Pearl.
Did I tell you she's from China?
- Uh, no.
Did I tell you Janis is adopted?
- Oh, that's fantastic.
- Yeah.
- It's the best thing I ever did.
- Kids.
Oh, I gotta go.
My kid's swim party just ended.
- Okay.
Um, we should do this again.
- I'd like that.
All right, bye.
- Bye.
Oh gosh.
Did you really think I was gonna answer
any of your seven texts while I'm on a date?
- Hey, I am like Dr. Frankenstein
and you are my creation!
- So it went really really well.
But um, I gotta tell her soon.
- Oh, no no no, too soon, too soon.
- Yeah but it's not fair.
I feel like I'm lying.
She left her phone behind.
- Oh no, no that's good.
I know that trick.
That's the whole leave something behind trick.
She has to see you now.
- Yeah, no, but she said she was gonna go
pick up her kid.
And this is from some dude named Paulo
saying, "Are you coming, I'm ready now."
So here I am worried about whether or not
I'm telling her the truth
and she's running off to meet some latin lover.
- Dude, harsh.
- Yeah well, so much for re-entering
the dating scene.
- This is obnoxious, dude,
you can't like, seriously?
- Ah, hi, is this?
- Okay, you need to chill about this boy, all right?
You've been single for what, three days?
Hold, please.
Stranger danger.
There's this random dude at the door.
I don't know, he's kind of cute for an old dude.
Screenshot this old geezer in case he's here
under nefarious purposes.
I gotta go, right, later.
- Um, so, I'm pretty sure this,
- Oh, that voice.
Who's the old dude?
Are you really getting desperate enough
to open your dating pool to senior citizens?
Smart.
- I'm pretty sure I have the right house, and your--
- Toni said she was gonna cut off my hair
and make a throw rug out of it.
I like my hair and I don't think
it would make a very good rug.
- I wasn't actually going to do it.
It was just a science experiment.
- Toni, what science experiment would involve you
threatening your sister with household utensils?
- We're studying bees.
Bees teach us a valuable lesson.
You might be small.
You might be tiny in a world full of giants.
- Yes?
- When you're chasing somebody with a sharp object,
people will still run away.
- You guys, I'm trying to get the baby down.
- I'm not a baby, Emmy.
- I know Theodore, you're a big boy.
- Sorry, Em, I'll get things sorted.
Night night Theo.
- Night night, don't let the dead buds bite.
- That's bedbugs Theo, not dead bugs.
- If there were dead bugs, they couldn't even bite.
- There is live bugs in the bed?
- No, baby, it's an expression.
Oh, I'm not a baby, Emmy.
- I know Theo, I know.
- Has somebody fed the cat?
- Grandma, we don't have a cat.
- Oh, did he die?
Why wasn't I told?
- No, we never had a cat, grandma.
- Oh well, good.
They're insufferable beasts.
- Uh, so I'm pretty sure this is the right house.
You're Pearl, and this is Susan Song's house, right?
- Yeah, maybe.
Who are you?
- Cole?
What are you doing here?
- Um, hi.
- Who's that, mom?
- Give mommy a moment, Paulo.
Go change into some dry PJs, okay sweety?
- Yo campers, what's everybody doing out here?
- Paulo was your son?
- Yes, I'm sorry, I,
why are you here?
How did you find our house?
- You left your phone behind and
you told me about your sub and the buddha statue.
I'm still confused.
- Kids, please go inside.
Mommy needs to have a chat with Mr. Bennett.
- Mom?
How many of them are yours?
- All of them.
I didn't think you would consider,
I'm sorry.
I understand if you wanna run.
I don't blame you, I know it's crazy.
No one in this day and age has seven kids.
- Well that's a lot.
- But they're all perfect.
And this is my life.
I know I should have told you
but I just, I,
I haven't met anybody in the past three years
that made me feel beautiful.
Or funny.
And you're perfect.
But I know, I know this is impossible.
Why are you laughing?
This is a picture of your youth class at the gym?
Are you offering us a package deal?
'Cause I don't think that's funny
or very appropriate right now.
I know I should have told you,
I probably deserve to be mocked, but,
oh.
Oh, god, is that?
That's Janis.
- Yeah.
Look, I didn't know how to tell you.
I thought you'd just run away.
- They're all yours?
Seven?
I guess we're both crazy.
- Certifiably.
You know what's even crazier?
- What?
Cole, I can't do this.
I mean, it's lovely, you're lovely,
but, seriously.
- I know it's only been two weeks
but I think I'm falling in,
- No, no, no.
Don't finish that.
We have a lot in common.
Granted a lot more than we both bargained for
but we're adults with responsibilities,
a lot of responsibilities.
- Yeah, but we're human beings too.
- I have a house full of human beings
whose dad left because I think I can,
I think I can take care of the world.
I can't just waltz another man in and out of their lives.
Thank you for a lovely couple of weeks
but I can't, I can't do this.
- So, um,
you're dating.
- Yeah.
I mean, no, oh god, it was just,
it's just a few dates.
Anyway, I just ended it.
- That didn't look like a goodbye.
- Well, why, because of us?
- Yeah, partially.
You guys are my world.
- You know you're entitled to a world outside of us, right?
- Wait, you're okay with this?
- Yeah, you're not?
- Well, I don't know, it's just a lot
to take in, I guess.
I mean, I'm almost 15 and my mom's been on more dates
this year than I've had my entire life, so.
- Well I ended it.
It's complicated.
- Well isn't it always when it involved boys?
- What would you know, small bean?
- I live on planet earth, bean pole.
- So, what's the scoop?
- Oh, ladies.
Buckle up.
I think this is going to require some ice cream
and a pajama dance party
and some, oh too bad you girls are too young for wine.
- A sip?
- No.
- Whatever.
- One one two.
One two three.
There you go.
That's some good work.
- All right man, see you later.
- Hey.
- Thanks for taking the kids out to dinner.
- Son, you don't have to thank me for spending time
with the best grandkids on the planet.
They were like wild animals though.
Fortunately I've got a degree in lion taming.
- G- Pa, I was a good girl, was I?
- You were an angel, sunshine.
- What about me?
- You were a dream, Peanut.
- You guys know he only calls us by these nicknames
because he can't keep our real names straight?
- That is possible.
Inga, Erma, Gertrude.
What are your names again?
- I just, I worked so hard I burned off half of my dinner.
- How was first day of second grade?
- A hot mess.
- Hey, but you tried.
How you all doing?
How's my favorite bunch of savages, huh?
- Excellent, Christopher.
I'm president of the mathematathlon team
and treasurer of the junior chemists this year.
- Wow, that's ambitious.
- What's going on, Toph?
- Hey man, you know me, just punching and posing.
So how does everyone feel about the old man dating?
- Um, they, they didn't know about it
till just now, thanks.
But it's over anyways.
- Actually, I was having an interesting conversation
with Janis about the very thing at dinner.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah really.
She said you asked out her dentist
and you were stuttering the whole time
- Really dad?
You used to do that with mom all the time,
remember that, guys?
- Yeah, and where do you think I got that from?
Listen, let's not make a big deal out of it.
I mean she was amazing,
but it's over and I don't have the time for this anyway
so I have my tribe to tame and I have the gym to run.
- Chris, you got a sec?
Kids, would you go with Chris?
Son.
Sarah left you with a big responsibility
and clear instructions to be happy.
- Yeah, but she dumped me.
I mean, kind of.
It's complicated.
- Women are complicated.
Life is always complicated with women.
But there is life after Sarah.
- Sarah and I were once in a lifetime.
Besides, I'm not lonely.
- Really?
I saw the way you looked when you were talking about her.
Find her.
Tell her.
Or you'll regret it, son.
The things we leave unsaid will tell volumes
about the future.
- Did I tell you she has seven kids?
- Seven, 14, who cares, you're a great dad!
Besides, these kids deserve to see you happy.
- You're right, dad.
- 14?
- 14.
- Here, I've got a plan.
Okay.
You wanna count one more.
Wait, what's it say?
- The strange loping creatures who had found their way
through the fiery place some years before,
it counted as a good friend.
♪ We are not alone
- So dad, what do you think?
- Ah I think it's brilliant, Pearl.
- Thanks.
Here, I should hand you off.
I've been hoarding you.
- As usual.
- Well there's something I really had to talk
to everyone about.
So I met someone I like a lot.
A girl here in Peru.
And it's kind of serious.
- That's cool, dad.
Mom's been seeing someone too.
- No she hasn't.
I mean she did for like three seconds.
- Well I want you all to meet her soon.
- Are you flying home?
- Well, no I can't really.
You'll meet her online next time.
Mari's excited to meet you guys.
But nervous, so be nice.
- Hey, we're always nice here.
I'm always nice here, can't speak for the rest
of these weirdos.
- All right, well I gotta run.
- No crazy stories this time?
- Oh man, B, I'm late.
But remind me to tell you about the sloths
in my hammock Tuesday.
- Bye, bye.
- Well, we should get immunized.
Looks like this love thing is contagious.
- Dr. Song?
You have a surprise inspection from the HDA at reception.
- Hey Sugar?
Can you please pull out our ADA compliance
and bring them back to my,
I thought you said ADA.
- No, no, I said HDA.
Which as you might recall means Hot Dad Alert.
You, you must have just heard me wrong or something.
- I've been trying to call you.
- Cole, I thought it was clear.
There's nothing to discuss.
- Yeah, but.
There's something I need to say.
- Okay.
- I'm not your ex husband.
- I know this, Cole.
But it doesn't change.
- No, but it should.
Because you walked away based on the possibility
that I will make the same selfish choice as he did.
And I don't know if you noticed
but I'm not exactly irresponsible.
- I know.
- I was married for 20 years to a wonderful woman
and we brought each and every one of these kids
into our hearts together.
And when she died, a part of me died.
But you're not Sarah.
- Okay.
At least we agree on that.
Look, Cole, I know you're hurt, but it doesn't--
- Susan, let me finish.
I know how lucky I was
that a lunkhead like me with a woman like that,
kind and smart and lovely,
I would never feel that way again.
But it's okay because of the kids.
- I understand.
- Until I kissed you.
- Mmm, you didn't tell me you two kissed.
You didn't tell me that!
- Sugar?
- Huh?
- I think maybe you can go ahead and go now.
- Just when it starts getting good
you tell me to leave, huh?
Okay, okay.
I'm leaving, okay.
Adios.
- Adios.
Aye yai yai.
- What was I saying?
- I don't know.
- When I kissed you and you kissed me back
I knew I was wrong.
And I came to tell you,
- And you have.
- I came to tell you that I was wrong about
not being able to fall in love again.
You're not Sarah.
You're Susan, and I love how you talk fast
when you're nervous and how you try
to fix the whole world.
I love how you find beauty where others don't.
And I love how you search people's faces for meaning.
Like you can tell more than what they're actually saying.
Kind of like what you're doing right now.
- This is crazy.
You know what, you're right about searching faces.
I knew everything I needed to know about you
the first hour over coffee.
You're the kind of smart that knows the important things
books don't teach you.
You fight for things that matter.
This is crazy.
- Certifiably.
- I can't just go off on dates with little ones at home.
You can't go off anytime.
- I don't wanna date you, Susan.
- Oh, you don't.
- No.
I wanna marry you.
- Cole.
You can't mean this.
We've got 14 kids.
We've only known each other for a few months.
You've got your practice and I've got my business.
♪ You try to find
♪ Who I was, what was left behind ♪
♪ And I, I try to find a new way ♪
♪ Try to find a new way
- I like it, it's different.
- Thank you, but it's still pretty rough.
Can you help?
My focus is off.
- You?
You're like a smart, more focused than
a really intelligent laser beam.
- Thank you, but,
I don't know, my life is just weirder than usual.
- Must be a boy.
Spill, girlfriend.
- Oh, it's a boy all right.
Do you remember that guy you saw on my porch
a few months ago?
- Yeah, okay.
You got a serious daddy complex.
He was hot but ancient.
- No, no not me, taco brain, my mom.
She's like seriously in love.
- Well, old people love.
Gives me hope of not dying an old maid.
- You're 15 and on your like 10th boyfriend.
- True.
But you on the other hand.
- Hey look, I have my music.
Speaking of which, help me with this bridge.
Okay, so.
♪ There's a piece that's missing ♪
♪ A part still hidden
♪ No easy answers to questions I'm bidding ♪
♪ And I try to find a new way
♪ Try to find a new way
- The rhyming and rhythm scheme is kind of off.
I think we should play around with it.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Did you find any tapers this week?
- No such luck this week, sweetheart.
But I did get some sweet shots of a jaguar on the hunt
stalking a wild pig.
- Did it end well?
- Well depends on your perspective.
The jaguar or the pig's.
Everyone has to eat, right?
- Oh gross, I don't wanna know.
Hey guys, dad's on the phone.
- Well, I think it's fascinating.
Part of nature, right dad?
Did you get the kill shot?
- You're twisted.
- Of course.
So is everyone there?
Well I mentioned that I was seeing someone
and it's gotten quite serious.
And I wanted to let you guys know that
I'm gonna be moving in with Mari
and help run her ranch in Peru.
- Oh that's huge.
- Yeah.
Well I guess I'm settling down a bit in my old age.
- How is this gonna work with the magazine?
You need to be able to take off at a moment's notice
to chase down pics.
- Well, I quit.
- What?
Are you serious?
You love your work.
- How are you going to make a living?
- Well from the ranch.
It'll be a struggle at first.
I won't make as much.
But I'm not gonna be on the road all the time anymore.
I'm gonna be settled in one place.
- Yeah, like a thousand miles from your family.
- Well Mari is my family too, Pearl.
I'm gonna marry her.
- What?
- Sorry, I meant for that information
to come out differently.
But yeah.
Congratulate me, I'm getting married.
- Congratulations, dad.
- Is she nice, daddy?
- Ah, the best, B.
I want you all to meet her soon.
- When are you coming?
- Well I meant online.
I can't afford travel for a while.
There's not gonna be a lot of extras this year.
- What about Grammy camp?
You promised.
- Oh man, sweet P.
Not this year.
We have some serious financial investments on the farm.
- Well, I'm happy for you.
- Thanks.
So, who wants to hear about the sloth in my hammock?
- Well hello.
How's the rat race?
You feeling like the cheese or the rat today?
- Oh my goodness.
You're Mr.,
I mean Sam Bennett.
It's nice to meet you in person.
- Nice to meet you, Miss Song.
I hear you'd made quite an impression on my boy.
- Oh I suppose so, but then again he's easily impressed.
- If you say so.
- So, you're famous for your perfect advice.
You got any suggestions for meeting the kids?
- Huh.
Yes.
Don't look them directly in the eye.
They can smell fear.
It's kind of like blood in the water.
- Okay, yeah.
You, you're not really making me feel
any calmer about this.
- Look, they love their dad.
You make their dad happy.
What else does anyone need to know?
- Hey grandpa.
- Hey Dylan.
- It's so nice to meet you.
- Dylan, I'm gonna leave this lovely lady with you
'cause I need to change clothes for a news interview.
- Okay.
- Good luck, Susan.
- Thanks.
How are classes going?
- School's never really been my strong suit
but a college dormitory is a lot quieter
than living here.
Can I get you something to drink?
Wine, beer?
- No.
No, I don't drink very much.
But some water would be nice.
- Certainly.
Yo, Miles, Frank, come say hello.
This is Dr. Song.
- Good evening, Dr. Song.
- Hi.
- Please, call me Susan.
I have heard so much about you two little geniuses.
- Well, speak up boys.
I was just gonna get Susan a glass of water.
- Oh, no, we've got it.
How about a cup of blackberry tea?
Janis and I just made a pitcher.
- Sure, that sounds lovely.
- Yeah, we'll go get that.
- Daddy'll be home any minute.
- You're pretty.
- Oh, thank you.
So are you.
- Thanks.
- Jimmie?
- Mhmm.
- And that little cutie must be Billie.
Which would make you Etta.
Oh!
- She's been like a lion all day.
- Well lions are my favorite.
- I like orangutans.
Wanna see me be like one?
- I would like nothing better than that.
Thank you.
Mmm.
This is delicious, girls.
I feel like I know each of you.
Your dad is so proud of you all.
- So we know you're a dentist and all.
I guess you must have perfect teeth.
- Well, that doesn't always go hand in hand.
I had a dentist as a child with a mouthful of fillings.
- Sorry to leave you to the wolves
but I'm in here now.
Better late than never.
Oh, and it looks like I'm a little late.
Someone care to explain?
- What's the matter, Cole?
We've been getting along great.
- Oh, yeah.
I'm sure you have.
But someone had a little bit of fun at your expense
and we're gonna need some toothpaste,
a toothbrush, Etta fetch the supplies.
- It's just food dye.
- A lot of food dye.
- Ah, yeah.
And maybe a little baking soda as well.
And boys, if you're thinking a little,
sorry, a lot of food dye is going to scare me away,
you're seriously underestimating my capacity for vengeance.
- Yeah, baking soda on the double.
Good luck, boys.
- And here I thought they liked me.
- Oh no, you were.
I mean if they didn't like you
your hair'd probably be falling out right about now.
- You know what?
I do look good.
- Sure.
- Give me a kiss.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Mom, stop moving, you're gonna look like a clown.
- I can't help it, I'm nervous.
- You got cold feet, we can call it off.
- Nope, sorry Pearl, but this is happening.
There's no going back now.
- Why, you're not pregnant, are you?
- Huh.
Did you hear from your dad yet?
- No, change the subject.
- Pearl.
He has to be able to have some life of his own.
- I know.
I was just really counting on him,
but I'll figure it out myself, okay?
It's fine, like.
- Well mom, you just have to have your own life too.
And today is your day.
- You're right.
I'm sorry, mom.
You look beautiful.
- Let's see.
Something borrowed, something blue.
Something old.
- Oh!
Mom, did you find grandmammy's locket yet?
- Oh, locket.
You know my mother had the prettiest locket.
I think I had it here in my purse earlier.
- That's what you're meant to be looking for.
Do you need any help?
- What is this?
It's a whisker.
I think the cat's been nesting in this bed.
- Grandma, we don't have a cat.
- You know, on the television last night,
there was a lion.
And this woman in a kimono killed it
with this video game guns.
And then she put the lion's whiskers in her soup.
A lovely seat!
Did you buy this chair, Susan?
- No mom.
- Now, which of you girls is getting married?
- I am, mom.
- You're not pregnant, are you?
- No mom.
- Good.
I'm too young to be a grandmother, you know.
- Well, it looks like it's time for you
to be getting into that dress.
- Yup, all right.
Well, this is it, yeah.
Quick, group hug before I'm surrounded
by 20 yards of satin.
I mean, quick, group hug before I'm surrounded
by 20 yards of tool!
- Ooh, what a lovely locket.
This looks just like my mothers.
I wonder how this got in here?
- Blessed are those who gather.
For life is full of firsts. And for this family,
the surprises are just the beginning.
And I am certain that life
from this day forth for this family
be full of surprises.
Shall we get to it?
- Please.
- Who here gives this woman to we'd this man?
- I.
- We do!
- One more trip and then we got it.
And then we got some serious unpacking to do.
- Can't we just get takeout, start tomorrow?
- Ah, you wish.
- Can't we just live in the backyard and start next year?
- Yes, no, no, no, no.
No.
- Oh, fine.
- Hi, I'm Stevie Hawkins-White
and these are my daughters Elizabeth and Winnifred.
- Hi.
- Hi, you must be our neighbor.
I'm Susan Song.
I mean Susan Bennett-Song.
This is my husband, Cole Bennett-Song.
- My grandfather built your house.
Well, his workers did.
- I'm the president of the homeowners association
so we just wanted to welcome you.
- Thank you.
Yeah, I appreciate it.
- And I also brought over the HOA bylaws
so please make sure you read them.
- Okay, thanks.
Hey Jules, can you put this in the study
in the home filing cabinet?
- Jules is such an interesting name.
I mean what girl doesn't like diamonds.
- Oh it's J-U-L-E-S.
After Jules Verne.
- Is that an actress?
- No, he wrote 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
- I don't really read that much.
I'm always on the go, you know.
You're really lucky that your daughter
has so many friends to help you with the move.
- Yeah, um, they're all ours.
No really, they're all ours.
- You're kidding.
- Nope, happily.
We're still getting used to it.
We just got married last week.
- Wow, that's a lot.
Eight of them?
- Uh, yes, 14.
- 14?
Oh
- Yeah, oop, there's my little jumping bean right now.
Hey.
- I'm not a jumping bean, daddy.
I'm a girl, I have a vagina.
- Oh yeah, right.
Billie, say hi to Mrs. Whitehawk?
- Mrs. Hawkins-White.
- Daddy doesn't have a vagina, he's a boy.
Right daddy?
- Right sweety.
- What's a vagina, mama?
- We're leaving.
- Well that was weird.
- Do you think we're gonna get an invitation
from Mrs. Hawkins-White to the yacht club
for our family this weekend?
- I wouldn't go off
start blocking up your social engagement
calendar anytime soon.
- Ah, man.
- All right, slacker.
Back to work.
Come on!
- I like the new group, girl.
- Yeah, it's cool.
A little crowded.
- Instruments in the garage, right?
- Yeah.
- Did you see that?
- That looks promising.
- Promising?
Looks like every Christmas wish come true.
- What?
- Is that your new brother?
- Yeah.
All three of them.
Dylan's actually really nice
but way too old for you.
And Miles, the second one, is a total geek.
But the pale one has taken up half of one of the bedrooms
with enough technology to launch NASA
and has the same sparkling personality as his robots.
- Dylan, huh?
How about Hotty Mchotness?
How do you live in a house with a teen version
of Johnny Depp without breaking all laws of nature?
- Down, girl.
I don't think they were talking about the hot stepbrother.
Did you see what they were carrying to the garage?
- Besides my neatly packaged heart?
No.
- A drumkit and a nice one at that.
- I vote that we can forget about this girl drummer thing.
If he's good he's in.
- I really wanted to stick to an all girl band.
- Hey but you said, there aren't any decent
girl drummers around.
- Oh I think there's something you guys should know.
- Not now, Etta, okay please?
We're in the middle of something.
- Whatever.
- Look, you're always saying that we should be trying
to sell diversity and story?
I mean and he's your brother right, and Romanian.
- You know what, fine.
But he has to be really good or,
- Hi, what do you guys wanna know?
- Janis, how can you?
Like I had no idea you were so good.
So I mean, do you think you can hold down a beat
with a full band?
- No, I miss cues.
If I can't hear what you guys are all playing.
- Oh yeah.
That's okay sis.
- Well, what if you could see it?
- How?
Even if someone was right in front of me
I wouldn't be able to see every note over the kit.
- Well I could hook up the other instruments
to an adaptive music program
and Miles could help me with the coding.
You'd see color coded notes and rhythms on a screen
right next to you.
Real time.
- You would do that for us?
- Pff, no.
But I'd do it for her.
If she wants me to.
- Yes!
Thank you!
- Looks like we have a drummer.
- And a sweet story too.
- I mean, if robot and braniac can get this to work.
- Pff, we can get it.
- We got a drummer!
Oh my god, this is gonna work!
- Yes, finally.
- We're gonna make the deadline.
- Uh,
- Hey, what can I do for you?
- I was just wondering if you read that HOA bylaws?
- Uh no, we've been swamped.
So maybe you can sum up the highlights.
- The highlights are that you have to read the HOA bylaws.
It's all very important.
In the meantime, there is a noise ordinance.
- Did I scream too loud when I smashed my thumb
with a hammer earlier?
- It's 62 decibels.
And the sounds coming out of the garage
far exceeds that.
- 62.
Sounds like I'm gonna have to put a muffler
on my lawnmower.
I'll insulate the walls in the garage.
But let me hang my curtains
and let me put some beds together
'cause I'm sure you don't want me walking by the windows
in my skivvies, right?
- Fine.
Please, just have your children quiet down.
- Sure, my daughter though, she has some music deadlines
so um, I'll have them stop by eight.
- These are quiet estate homes.
Not Bourbon Street Whiskey halls.
- Let me assure you, I put strict limits
on the amount of whiskey that my kids can drink.
- Your jokes aren't gonna work with me.
Good day.
- Hey.
Can one of you tell me why I found holes
with scorch marks on the back end of both of your jeans?
- We were lighting each other's farts.
- Yeah it kind of got out of hand.
You know how it is.
- Uh huh.
And I don't suppose either of you know
how we ended up with a dead frog
in the washing machine?
- Oh no, Bob is--
- No, definitely not.
We have no knowledge of this frog.
- Yep, nothing.
- Uh huh.
And Toni.
I just got milk out of the family room carpet.
Will you stop letting the dog
lick milk out of your mouth?
- But she likes it!
- Dude, that's nasty.
- Yeah, well you're the one that peed in the backyard.
- Paulo, please.
Mrs. White is developing an entire dossier
on our family and probably has hidden cameras installed.
- What's a dossier?
- Never mind, just come indoors when you need to pee.
Please.
Please?
Well, someone is up from her nap.
- Where's Pearl?
- She's in the garage.
Did you get into the birthday cupcake, sweety?
- It was an accident, I'm going to be four.
- Really, an accident?
- I think the dog did it.
- Dog, huh?
Well, let's get you a bath.
- No, Pearl, Pearl can help me.
- Really?
Okay, let's go find your sister.
- Hello.
- Hey.
They called you in too?
- Yeah, I don't know why they'd bug you at work,
I said I'd be here.
- Maybe Pearl pushed them to call me.
- Pearl, what does she have to do with this?
- She and Toni are the ones in trouble.
Jimmie's fine.
- Jimmie?
I'm here for Miles.
- What?
- Mr. Bennett.
We have a strict policy on inappropriate language.
- Okay.
- Miles is an excellent student but,
I cannot exempt him from the rules.
- I understand, I'm just not used to him
being a rule breaker.
What exactly were the offending remarks?
- For the purpose of enlightening your father,
you can repeat the joke.
- It was a science joke.
Snowmen have snowballs,
what does a snowwoman have?
- What?
- Snowvaries.
See, it's funny.
- It does show a good understanding
of human biology and puns.
- The discussion of ones private parts,
whether in jest or not, is a violation
of the respect code, Mr. Bennett.
- Yeah, but he said snowballs.
I'm sure an otherwise well adjusted student
could say tennis balls or chicken breasts
without the PC police carrying them off to juvie.
- Context is important.
But I can't make exceptions.
Look, this is just a meeting.
No permanent record.
Can you please just bring him home
and have a conversation with him
about filters and boundaries in school?
- Certainly, Miss Anderson.
Well, I apologize for the trouble.
- Thank you for your time, Mr. Bennett.
- So?
- Oh, no biggie.
They said to talk to Miles about boundaries and filters.
- You, really?
- I know, right.
- Anyway,
Apparently, Toni hit both of these boys.
- Two dudes?
Why?
- They were calling Jimmie bad names
like racial stuff.
And she was really scared.
She was trapped, and I was really mad.
- Okay now I understand that you'd be angry
but just because you get mad doesn't mean
you can hit people.
You know what I do when I get mad
is I take a deep breath and I blow it out slowly
while I count to 10.
Like this.
- How does blowing on them help?
- All you need to do is meet hate with love.
When you love your enemies, they become your friends.
- Wow, that is wise, Paulo.
- That doesn't mean you should smooch them though.
That would be gross.
- Yeah.
So what are you here for?
- Witness for defenseman.
- And you?
- Paulo ran to get me and I told them
if they wanted to mess with my other sister,
they were gonna have to go through me.
- I don't see a problem with that.
- I may have implied that I'm an Asian karate ninja
that knows how to rip out the hearts of their enemies.
- Okay, so that's terrifying.
- And?
- And I may have called them racist little punk ass bitches.
- Ooh.
Okay.
- Listen.
I think it's wonderful that you both stood up for Jimmie.
But we need to understand that there is an appropriate way
to deal with things in school.
Tonight I think we need to have
a family chat about boundaries.
- Now the standard in these situations is to speak
with the victims of school violence first.
- Excuse me, victims?
- You are aware that your daughter hit
both of these boys.
- They were calling my sister names
and made her cry.
- Toni, I'm sure you heard the expression
sticks and stones.
Now name calling is never an excuse for physical violence.
- No, sometimes they hit a lot harder.
Look, I understand that you have your policies,
I really do, but,
you gotta understand that we live in a world
where a lack of respect for cultural identity
is stirring up a hornet's nest.
- I'm not sure what you're saying.
- They called her by a racial slur that marginalizes
her birth culture.
- Mr. Bennett, I think you're being a little sensitive.
Jimmie's an American.
She's always lived here.
- Not always.
And that doesn't mean that she doesn't feel
or understand the sting of those words.
- They also told her that her real daddy Kumar
was going to come take her to live at 7-11.
- If you don't understand the girl who's lost
both of her birth parents and then her real mother to cancer
is going to feel real pain when somebody implies
that they're gonna take her away from her family,
then you don't understand an eight year old child.
- Is this true, Donald, Mike?
- We didn't hit anybody, she did.
- Some black kid comes out of nowhere claiming
to be her sister, and then this oriental girl
starts yelling bad words.
- It's Asian, you neanderthal.
- So you're concerned with Donnie making a childish joke
about convenience store owners
but not with this girl calling our son's names
after her so-called sister punched them?
- So-called?
If you think Pearl's language after they use racial slurs
is somehow more offensive than your so-called response,
look, I'm not defending the violent response
but I will not tolerate anyone
implying that we are not a real family.
- Okay, okay, there are a lot of feelings
in this room right now, but I'm sorry.
My hands are tied when it comes to physical violence.
Toni will be suspended for two days.
And Pearl, one for their language.
And Donald and Mike will be suspended for one day
as well for their language.
- Oh come on, suspended?
- I hope you all take this opportunity
to think about the power of your words.
I know I will.
- No, no.
I took a half day to get my mom to the doctor.
Yeah.
Well I let the nanny off and got Theo and Billie to home.
Mhmm.
- No one here seems to recognize
this is a crisis situation.
- Well mom's taking the littles to the park
so I can finish up some paperwork at home
before I have to pick up Frank from robotics,
Jimmie up from violin and somebody else from something.
- I think the FBI's been rooting through our cabinets again.
Or maybe the CIA.
JC Penney, that's the worst.
- Hey, can you hang on a second?
Mom, do you need help finding something?
- I'm looking for my big blue gin and tonic cup.
The small ones just fall through the sippy cup holders.
- Do you think it's wise to drink at the playground?
- Have you been to the park this time of day, Susie?
I don't think it wise to go sober.
- Whoah, this is like mining for diamond armor,
but smellier.
- Theo, no, no, no, no, no.
Why do we have kitty litter?
- Oh, for the cat, dear.
Are you losing it?
- We don't have a cat.
But yes, I am losing it.
Yeah, you're right, I admit it.
Yeah, I'm gonna need you to rescue me this weekend.
I don't know, I need a new hairstyler, a new hobby.
I don't have enough brainpower
to make a decision either way.
- Full impact yodel wrestling, that's a great hobby.
And as for the hair,
how about bald with a tattoo of a chipmunk
clinging to your scalp?
You're welcome.
- I just love the wrestlers.
I think their uniforms are dishy.
I think I might call for cheerleader.
Hey team, what's that sound?
Eagles running prey to the ground!
Then shake it.
We shake it.
- Go grandma.
- Oh so you agree?
Hey, uh,
I gotta let you go.
Yeah, okay, all right, bye.
Mom?
Are you okay to go to the playground?
- I'm a good babysitter Missus, um,
- Mom?
- Oh Susie.
I'm okay.
- You sure?
- Well,
I get confused sometimes with the time and the year
but they'll be fine with me.
They ground me.
When it's just me with them,
I never get confused.
Hell, you call them by their wrong names half the time.
- You're right.
You take good care of your grandbabies.
- I don't know how you do it, Susie,
taking care of all those babies and me.
And it means the world to me
being here with them and with you.
- Mom.
We're a family.
You belong here with us.
Come here.
- You're my favorite child, you know.
Don't tell your brother.
- I'm an only child, remember.
- I'm just pulling your damn leg.
Besides, you ruined my uterus,
tore that place right up.
- Mom!
- I'm taking off with the little beasties now.
You get your work done.
- Yeah, I will.
Get my work done, right.
- Well you look happy.
- That is because I am a genius.
- Well tell that to your last report card.
- Please, Grade Point Averages are big brother's way
of controlling the masses.
More importantly, I'm going to Grammy camp after all.
- What is this?
- The answer to all of my problems.
We can record the performance in front of a live audience
and it all goes down three days before the deadline.
- Look, Pearl.
I know you're excited and you guys are awesome
but I mean there's a lot of talent in this state.
- Yeah but this is my last shot.
And I have a few tricks up my sleeve.
- Oh yeah, like what?
- You'll see.
- Okay.
Well, buckle up.
We have four minutes to pick up Frank from Robotics club.
- Can't we just leave him with his fellow robots
where he'll actually be happy?
- I thought you guys were getting along.
- You have to question the values of someone
who suddenly respects you after getting busted
on school profanity.
- True.
- See you guys.
- Hey, Chris.
Hey man.
- So you said you got some favor to ask, get clothes,
want more advice about women?
- Ah no.
You said you had a friend who pays top dollar
sports memorabilla collectibles, that type of thing.
- Ah yeah, yeah I do.
What you got?
- Hey, you got a minute?
- Um, yeah sure.
Not like I'm making any real progress here anyways.
- Ah, what's that?
- We're studying DNA and identity.
Part of the project is examples of dominant
and recessive factors we get from our parents.
And how you're very related to our siblings.
- Hm. Sometimes we get the opportunity
to educate our teachers.
How are you planning on expressing yourself on this?
- During research on the majority and minority groups
in the area of China I'm from,
which is actually really fascinating,
I just can't find the right words to relate it
to the assignment.
- Maybe you'll have some interesting perspective,
some nature versus nurture.
- Maybe.
So what's up?
- I've been thinking about camp.
- Look, I understand with the move and all,
we can't afford it.
I get it.
Lot of maths.
- I know, I know it's important to you
but yeah it's been a crazy year.
- I don't need lectures on patience.
This year was different.
And Tyler freaking Joseph will be there in New York Week.
I mean Tyler and Luminous Hearts
is masterclassing the LA Week.
I mean those are two of my biggest influences.
But seriously, don't worry about it, okay?
I'll figure this out myself.
- First, I'm not here for a lecture.
And second, maybe you don't need to do everything
all by yourself.
- Okay, I get it.
We're all family, yay.
- I know you weren't thrilled about,
you know, all of this.
I know what it's like to want something so bad
that you'd sacrifice your left,
left hand for it.
When I was trained to become WXC champ,
I sacrificed my day job, most of my friends
and my girlfriend.
- And you won, right?
That's that big gaudy belt up at your gym.
- Yeah.
It was.
And now it's here, ready to follow a new dream.
- That's not.
Are you serious?
But that was your dream.
- Yeah, and now it's yours.
I can go visit it on display in LA
whenever you become a big rockstar.
- No, you can't do this.
I mean Frank wants that Robotics kit
and Miles is probably going to get early entry
into MIT next year.
That belongs to your kids, not me.
- Jesus Pearl, you are my kid.
I mean I know Clive is your dad
but you're my family too.
Frank's got a part time job,
he's won most of the money he needs.
Miles has got scholarships.
- Just because you married my mother
doesn't mean you have to cut off your left, whatever
to help me or my brothers and sisters.
- I didn't marry your mother and end up
with the rest of you guys in the bargain.
I fell in love with each and every one of you.
I fell in love with the way Emily
needs to care for everyone as if her life depended on it.
I fell in love with Toni's wit and swagger.
B's whimsy.
- Don't suppose I made that easy.
- Are you kidding me?
I can't even decide what moment.
Maybe a little at your fearlessness.
Undoubtedly, standing up to two racist little punks
picking on your sister that you've known
for all of three months.
But, without a doubt
the first time I heard you sing and play.
Uh, it's like you popped into existence from stardust
to create art.
You're 14.
And you create magic in ways I could never imagine.
I love you Pearl, including your stubbornness.
And I wanna do this for you
not because you're Susan's daughter.
But because I couldn't love you any more
if I would have been there the moment
you were created.
- I love you too.
- What?
- You heard me.
- Okay I think everyone's been fed.
Keyboard is loaded.
- We just finished loading up the drums.
You ready, Pearl?
- No.
I mean yeah, maybe.
- You got this, little nugget.
And we got you.
- Thanks, Dylan.
Oh Frank, the um,
yeah, it's fully charged, the camera's fully charged right
and you have the storage thingy?
- Chill, everything's checked and ready to go.
- Okay, let's load everyone up.
Everyone check their travel buddies.
- I forgot my travel buddy.
- I got you buddy, you me and B.
Let's go.
- Um, what is she doing here?
- I don't know.
- Lila Jean, this is my sorority sister,
Betsy Snowden, the new CEO of Snowden Meats.
- It is such a pleasure to meet you.
- And you.
After the show, I have a few juicy college stories
about your aunt.
- And, that you wouldn't dare, actually.
- On second thought, you probably have a few
stories on me as well.
- This is Paul Deville, of Deville Real Estate.
- Charmed, I look forward to hearing you play.
- Pleasure's all mine.
- And he's also a member of the club with me.
- Oh and I've had the pleasure
of getting in the way of her golf slice.
- Oh come on, I'm not that bad.
Welcome everybody, hi.
Before we begin, we're about to start,
I'd like to ask everyone to turn off your cellphones please.
- Do you know if grandpa's here yet?
- I don't know mom, are we saving the seat for G-Pa?
- Um, I don't know honey.
- No, he's tucking in.
He's about a half hour out still, so.
- Social media, texting, nothing.
Please, no sharing until Friday
when the show airs on TV18 White Murdoch Cable.
Okay?
And we are going live in five, four.
Welcome friends to the first Annual
State Youth Talent Competition.
♪ Everything's oh so fun
♪ Nobody's safe when we can't find a nun ♪
♪ Spread your arms across that tree ♪
♪ I spread the love you gave to me ♪
- Pearl Song, you're on deck in five.
- We're next, are you ready?
- I think.
Only two more acts after us, so
assuming I don't faceplant, I think we have a good shot.
Okay.
- Hi.
Are you Dr. Bunsen?
- Why yes I am, young lady.
- I loved your show, can I have your autograph?
- Well sure.
You have a pen?
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
What's your name?
- Laura.
- There you go.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
But, that's the autograph you should be getting.
Pearl Song, she's my granddaughter.
- Hi everyone, hi, it's me again.
Just a quick note.
I've been informed that our next act
has a change in name.
Instead of the Pearl Song band,
please welcome The United Colors of Bennett Song.
♪ We are stars beneath the sky
♪ We are roots beneath the stone ♪
♪ We offer up our lives
♪ We offer up our bones
♪ Each one of us different yet so much the same ♪
♪ We weather the sunshine and the rain ♪
♪ Through seasons of heartache
♪ Seasons of change
♪ Somehow we still remain
♪ We are not alone
♪ Roots beneath the stone
♪ We are voice upon the sand
♪ Seeking answers in the dark
♪ We create the future with our hands ♪
♪ In the image of our hearts
♪ Each one of us different
♪ Yet so much the same
♪ We reach out for love through joy and pain ♪
♪ Pray that our struggle is not in vain ♪
♪ Somehow we still remain
♪ We are not alone
♪ Roots beneath the stone
♪ My family give me roots
♪ My family give me wings
♪ We'll always eat together
♪ No matter what life brings
♪ My family may be crazy but they make me strong ♪
♪ We're the United Colors of Bennett Song ♪
♪ I've got a sister from Kenya
♪ And a brother from Romania
♪ Now here's some knowledge from my sister from Albania ♪
♪ So many siblings from Mumbai to Guatemala ♪
♪ Syria, Russia, China, Congo, Colombiana ♪
♪ But no matter where we came from ♪
♪ Our hearts all beat as one
♪ Who you love or what you look like ♪
♪ You're never alone
♪ When you see the world in black and white ♪
♪ Life is so much duller
♪ It's so much sweeter when we live in living color ♪
♪ We are storms beneath the sky ♪
♪ We are roots beneath the stone ♪
♪ In our brief uncertain time
♪ Let our light be clearly shown ♪
♪ Each one of us different
♪ Yet so much the same
♪ All the same soul
♪ From many names
♪ So many fires just one flame
♪ Forever we shall remain
♪ We are not alone
♪ Roots beneath the stone
♪ We are not alone
- That was surprising.
You're really good.
- Thank you.
- I'd say the best so far, but I'm up next, so.
I'm kidding.
- Okay, well break a leg.
- Thanks.
I think we have the same voice teacher,
Miss Berthal, right?
- Yeah.
- She mentioned another one of her students
is applying for Grammy.
- Yeah, well, that's me.
So uh how do you know Stevie Hawkins-White?
- She's my aunt.
You must be her neighbors.
I've heard all about your family.
- That's kinda crazy.
- Lila Jane, you're on deck.
- Well, I'm up.
Best for last, I guess.
Kidding.
- Do you guys wanna watch her?
Guys, I'm still freaking out from our performance.
I mean, did you see that standing ovation?
I seriously think we've got this
unless she's really really good.
♪ And this place we're bound forever ♪
♪ Hold me close
♪ Don't let me go
♪ We fight sometimes
♪ We kiss and make up
♪ Heavy hearts and pointless breakups ♪
- You know it's technically bad luck
to say good luck.
- Really?
Oops.
♪ Be the one you always want to ♪
♪ Everlasting close enough to tell ♪
♪ You're secrets to
♪ So take a seat
♪ We'll watch the world go blue ♪
♪ Ooh
♪ Blue
♪ Ooh
♪ Blue
- Our third place prize
of 200 dollars and dinner for four
at Luca's Steak Palace goes to,
Let's hear it for the magic of Kent Michaels, everybody.
And finally, one of these next two acts
will win our second place prize of 250 dollars
and dinner for four at Costa's Italian Villa.
And the other will win our grand prize
of 2,500 dollars and a three month supply
of meats for the whole family from Snowden Meats.
Second place goes to,
uh I could puke.
The United Colors of Bennet Song.
And our big winner is,
Miss Lila Jane.
Great job everybody.
One more round of applause for our big winners.
- Sorry, sweety.
You guys were awesome.
- You were great.
- You really were extraordinary.
- You got my vote, kiddo.
Keep up the good work.
- Very nice.
- Mr. Bennett, a word please.
- Sure.
- This is Paul Deville, he's one of the judges
of the talent show.
- Mr. Bennett, it's been brought to our attention
that this young man videotaped portions of the show.
- Yeah, what's the problem?
- Well the application of programs stipulate
that the show or results couldn't be taped
without permission from the committee.
Due to the risk that it would air
before the actual TV debut.
- But other parents were taping.
- Well I don't know about any others
but I'm afraid we're gonna have to confiscate the drive.
You can file the paperwork online today for clearance.
- What, can we do it here and now?
- We don't have any of the paperwork here.
- No, I need that footage edited two days from now.
We won't post it anywhere, I swear.
- I can't do anything.
- Mom?
- Oh my god.
- Stevie, I can personally deliver the form to you tonight.
Can we, I mean surely you can provide that clearance.
- I can't tonight, I'm sorry.
- Dylan will you help me with my keyboard?
- Sure girl, let's go.
- What are we gonna do?
- Well, there's my little rockstar.
And up by the crack of noon.
- It's spring break.
You're lucky the sun's still up.
- Ah, to be a teenager.
You know, I'm very proud of what you did yesterday.
- But I lost.
And I needed that money.
Even more, I needed that video.
- Well I suppose you could look at it that way.
But you created art out of thin air
and you did it with people you love.
- Yeah.
I get it, process is more important than the result.
- Pearl?
Pearl.
Art gives a voice to the voiceless.
It opens minds and hearts to progress and healing.
It inspires, it unites.
We need our stories, our songs
to help us through tough times.
Just as we need our family to lean on
when times are tough.
And guess what, kiddo, you have both.
- Yeah but, all I did was write a song
and perform it.
At a talent show which I lost.
- Hello, earth to Pearl.
Have you heard anything I've been saying here?
Pearl.
You did so much more.
My show was on for a long time.
It still is.
And many people thing Dr. Bunsen
was all fluff.
Not to kids.
To the kids, I was the voice of support and authority.
A kind adult with answers.
I made a difference.
And so can you.
- I never really thought about that.
But I mean I can see that in your fans.
- Hey, if I spend the rest of my days
doing community theater or the occasional bedpan commercial,
I'll still be taking my audience on a journey
because it's not about winning or losing.
It's about making something that didn't exist before
mean something to others.
It's about sharing our dreams,
our songs, with our audience.
- Thanks, Sam.
G-Pa.
- It's all in a day's work.
Now if you'll excuse me.
I have an appointment to help your brother Patrick
with a dilemma.
It seems that he's got a crush on a brunette
cutie at school.
- I don't have a brother named Patrick.
- Are you sure?
- I'm pretty sure.
- Really?
Blonde curly headed, 16.
Usually wears a ballcap.
- That's Patrick King, he lives like a block over.
- He's not my grandson?
- No.
- Oh well.
Chase is always on the case.
I go where I'm needed.
- Excuse me, Mrs. Bennett.
- It's Doctor, actually.
Dr. Bennett-Song.
- Okay.
Look, I went through a lot of trouble to get you this file.
- It's been three days.
Did you get my text, my emails?
- You should be thanking me.
- I'm sure.
And this would have been great yesterday.
Before today's delivery deadline.
- Look, I know we haven't gotten along on the best foot.
But I'm on my way to the mayor's right now
to speak to him about the noise ordinance.
We don't run halfway houses here.
- Whoah, I'm sorry, did you just call my family
a halfway house?
- I didn't mean it like that.
- No, no, did you?
- Did you say you're going to the mayor right now?
- Yeah I have a private meeting.
- You know what, you're right.
We did get off on the wrong foot
and we're going to try to be better neighbors.
But um, it's quite the scorcher today.
Could I send you off with a cup
of the Bennett's famous blackberry tea?
- Yeah, that'll be lovely.
- Cool, all right.
- Hey Pearl, come here for a sec.
- I'm not gonna step in a nut
and get shipped to Burma, am I?
- Don't give me any ideas.
I just wanna show you something.
- You've hacked NOAH and don't want my help
stopping global thermonuclear war?
- Again with the ideas, just come here.
- All right.
- Well you know how you told me to upload your video
a month ago?
- I haven't watched it lately, but sure.
- Well I did a little demographic research
and developed my own algorithms.
And watch this.
♪ We are stars
- Wait.
Wait.
That's, that can't be right.
- It's right.
- That's six million views, Frank.
- Look, that's not all. - Oh my god!
- I'm not finished yet.
Once it hit a million views,
I was able to sell ad space
and as of this morning, we have made, 2,435 dollars.
- What?
- Yeah, without even selling dad's belt
you could still afford to pay for your camp.
- But it's too late.
With my band out of town,
I have to send them some lame solo tape
and I didn't get accepted.
- Sorry, I didn't know.
- Do you realize what you've done?
A camp doesn't even...
You put my music in the ears of six million people, Frank.
That's amazing.
And you keep the money, all right.
I have 11 months till next year
and apparently, six million new fans.
- That's not the end of it.
- How can this day get any better?
- Well, I got this email from the Sunshine Maddox Show.
- What?
- Read this.
- Dear Mr. Bennett, we at the Sunshine in the Morning
blah blah blah.
We loved your video and would like your band
and family to appear on the show in the next few weeks?
Oh my gosh, Frank!
Dude, this is amazing!
Frank?
- Yeah?
- Two things, one, thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
- And two, please don't tell anyone I hugged you.
- Not a chance.
- Yes, yes I have been, but,
well no.
I mean,
what?
- Hey, babe.
Everybody's in the car, you ready to go?
- I'll be there in a second.
- Okay.
- Are you sure?
Okay.
I'm leaving town.
I'll see you on Thursday.
- Weren't they amazing!
So we heard before that astounding performance
just how this lovely family came to be.
And I hear that you wrote that song.
And I hear that you've written several, is that right?
- Yes ma'am, I've written quite a few.
- Well that's impressive.
And you wanna be a singer-songwriter?
- Absolutely, but I, well,
wewouldn't be here if it weren't
for my computer-wiz brother.
- Ah, so you're the reason.
Well, you and your sister must be very close.
- No, we actually didn't get along at first.
- Oh, well that's not what I was expecting.
- Oh no, but she's okay now.
She stood up for my little sister
and called some bully--
- I don't think we need to hear that story here today.
- Well this family is full of surprises.
And we love surprises here at Sunshine in the Morning,
don't we audience?
Well first we heard that transportation is a challenge.
So back home, we have two vans with seating for 18.
And all Pearl could talk about was her brother's
incredible software invention.
So with her help, we have an offer from JQ Robotics
for an internship working with the company
to develop his software to launch worldwide.
- That's amazing, thank you!
- Now I understand that you have one in college
and seven more in the next six years, is that right?
- Um, I haven't,
I haven't done that math just yet.
- Well, one of our sponsors, Freeman International Textiles
would like to hire you for a series of ads
for their international inspired clothing line,
Gypsy Chic.
And they'd like to pay you
with a 150,000 dollar college fund.
So now besides all the tech help,
we do know that this all started with a dream
of a 14 year old girl.
Is that right?
- Well 15 now.
And I did originally for a spot at Grammy camp
but I mean, this is the best day of my life.
- Mom, do you have what we asked you to bring?
- I sure do.
- So we made a call to a few of our friends
and we shared your video.
And when your family flies home in two days,
you'll be staying here in New York
to begin your first week of camp.
- Dude, are you for real?
Oh God!
- Well we just love surprises, right audience?
Now I'd just like to take this moment to thank
the lovely United Colors of Bennett Song and Family
for gracing our stage with their talents today.
Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot.
We have one more gift for you from one of our sponsors.
- Okay, I get this one.
A private jet for our family to fly around on.
Yeah, yeah, right?
- No, this is a tiny one.
We have a 2,000 dollar gift card
from Blushing Babies Furniture and more.
- Um.
Our, our youngest is four?
I mean thank you.
But I don't even really see how.
Oh, unless you...
- You're gonna be a big sister, Billie.
- I am, I'll be a good big sister
just like Pearl.
- Yes you will.
Oh, I got an A in my science project.
But honestly I can't say I know a whole lot
about DNA and how it shapes our identity.
I do agree with my teacher that it's hard
to look at families and be able to argue
against some higher power at work.
But it can't all be chemistry.
Science may eventually come up with all the explanations.
But that doesn't deny the existence of
miracles in my book.
Most of my classmates focused on their eyes,
ears, noses, mouths,
in showing how their identity was carved
from generations of family DNA.
My biological parents gave me the greatest gift of all.
What I got from their sacrifice is this...
- Do we have a cat?
- Crazy, chaotic miracle of love that is my family.
There's no denying that wherever I go
and whatever I create in this world,
they are the biggest part of who I am.
♪ We are fires upon the sand
♪ Seeking answers in the dark
♪ We create the future with our hands ♪
♪ In the image of our heart
♪ Each one of us different
♪ Yet so much the same
♪ We reach out for love through joy and pain ♪
♪ Pray that our struggle is not in vain ♪
♪ Somehow we still remain
♪ We are not alone
♪ Roots beneath the stone
♪ My family give me roots
♪ My family give me wings
♪ We'll always eat together
♪ No matter what life brings
♪ My family may be crazy but they make me strong ♪
♪ We're the United Colors of Bennett Song ♪
♪ I've got a sister from Kenya
♪ And a brother from Romania
♪ Now here's some knowledge from my sister from Albania ♪
♪ So many siblings from Mumbai to Guatemala ♪
♪ Syria, Russia, China, Congo, Colombiana ♪
♪ But no matter where we came from ♪
♪ Our hearts all beat as one
♪ Who you love or what you look like ♪
♪ You're never alone
♪ When you see the world in black and white ♪
♪ Life is so much duller
♪ It's so much sweeter when we live in living color ♪