0 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 1 00:00:41.841 --> 00:00:44.105 Satire, one A. 2 00:00:44.144 --> 00:00:46.442 A literary work in which human vice or folly... 3 00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:49.346 is ridiculed or attacked scornfully. 4 00:00:49.382 --> 00:00:55.343 B--The branch of literature that composes such work. 5 00:00:55.388 --> 00:00:59.017 2--lrony, derision or caustic wit... 6 00:00:59.059 --> 00:01:03.792 used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity. 7 00:01:03.830 --> 00:01:09.826 Bonjour. My name is Pierre Delacroix. 8 00:01:09.869 --> 00:01:14.829 I am a television writer. A creative person. 9 00:01:14.874 --> 00:01:19.174 I'm one of those people responsible for what you view... 10 00:01:19.212 --> 00:01:21.680 on your idiot box. 11 00:01:21.714 --> 00:01:25.445 The problem is, not enough of you... 12 00:01:25.485 --> 00:01:29.353 have been watching out there in television land. 13 00:01:29.389 --> 00:01:32.358 With the onslaught of the internet, video... 14 00:01:32.392 --> 00:01:38.729 and interactive games, 900 channels to choose from... 15 00:01:38.765 --> 00:01:43.862 our valued audience has dramatically eroded. 16 00:01:43.903 --> 00:01:46.963 To put it in much simpler terms... 17 00:01:47.006 --> 00:01:51.966 Iike rats fleeing from a sinking ship. 18 00:01:52.011 --> 00:01:55.606 People are tuning out by the millions... 19 00:01:55.648 --> 00:02:01.052 which, needless to say, is bad for business. 20 00:02:13.700 --> 00:02:16.533 Let's get it. 21 00:02:16.569 --> 00:02:18.764 If you don't dance, we don't eat. 22 00:02:18.805 --> 00:02:21.069 You slow, we blow. You snooze, we lose. 23 00:02:21.107 --> 00:02:23.075 Come on, get up. 24 00:02:23.109 --> 00:02:24.838 Seriously, son, get up. 25 00:02:54.207 --> 00:02:56.334 He went to Juilliard, School of the Arts. 26 00:02:56.376 --> 00:02:59.106 I gave him his first break. He's my partner. 27 00:03:01.548 --> 00:03:04.449 Don't hurt 'em. 28 00:03:12.625 --> 00:03:13.785 Let me shine 'em up. 29 00:03:21.868 --> 00:03:23.062 Wind it up, baby. 30 00:03:28.141 --> 00:03:30.871 What? Now, before you go... 31 00:03:30.910 --> 00:03:32.605 don't forget to give us that cheese. 32 00:03:32.645 --> 00:03:37.344 That m-o-n-e...Why? Because we broke. What's up? 33 00:03:37.383 --> 00:03:38.407 Thank you very much. Bless you. 34 00:03:38.451 --> 00:03:40.919 Thank you, thank you. 35 00:03:40.954 --> 00:03:43.218 Hey, Sling blade, what's happening? Thank you. 36 00:03:43.256 --> 00:03:44.553 There you go. 37 00:03:44.591 --> 00:03:46.286 Bless you from the bottom of your heart, baby. 38 00:03:46.326 --> 00:03:48.556 Big Dela! 39 00:03:48.595 --> 00:03:50.586 It's the Dela man! 40 00:03:50.630 --> 00:03:53.690 There you go with the suits. I like that. 41 00:03:53.733 --> 00:03:55.200 Good morning, Womack. 42 00:03:55.235 --> 00:03:57.567 Looks like you going to an exorcism, man. 43 00:03:57.604 --> 00:03:59.572 I like the suit, though. It's pretty nice. 44 00:03:59.606 --> 00:04:00.538 Thank you. 45 00:04:00.573 --> 00:04:02.438 Why don't you help me and Manray out, man? 46 00:04:02.475 --> 00:04:05.876 We're trying to get some work. You work for the network. 47 00:04:05.912 --> 00:04:08.210 I'll work on something. 48 00:04:08.248 --> 00:04:12.082 Sloan says you're too talented to be dancing in the street. 49 00:04:12.118 --> 00:04:14.416 Word? Why don't you tell Sloan to come see me? 50 00:04:14.454 --> 00:04:17.821 I'll do that. Good day, gentlemen. 51 00:04:17.857 --> 00:04:19.848 "I'll do that." He a damn magician? 52 00:04:19.892 --> 00:04:22.554 You work for one of the biggest networks in the country! 53 00:04:22.595 --> 00:04:27.089 Somebody put a 10 up in here. Check it. 54 00:04:27.133 --> 00:04:29.567 Here we go. One for you, three for me. 55 00:04:29.602 --> 00:04:31.797 You the feet, I'm the brains. Told you, boy. 56 00:04:31.838 --> 00:04:33.396 Yeah, baby. 57 00:04:33.673 --> 00:04:35.868 You have a grand day. 58 00:04:36.743 --> 00:04:39.507 Good morning, Steve. 59 00:04:39.545 --> 00:04:41.206 Hello, Margaret. 60 00:04:42.382 --> 00:04:43.713 Bartholomew. 61 00:04:45.418 --> 00:04:47.352 Kip! 62 00:04:47.387 --> 00:04:48.786 Hey, Jarma. 63 00:04:49.889 --> 00:04:51.857 ...18 to 49-year-old audience. 64 00:04:51.891 --> 00:04:54.223 Do you understand? It's pretty-- 65 00:04:56.195 --> 00:04:58.755 Monsieur Delacroix. 66 00:04:58.798 --> 00:05:01.494 -Hello. -Good morning. 67 00:05:01.534 --> 00:05:03.434 This very important staff meeting... 68 00:05:03.469 --> 00:05:07.405 commenced exactly 32 minutes ago. 69 00:05:07.440 --> 00:05:09.465 My apologies around the room for my tardiness. 70 00:05:09.509 --> 00:05:11.272 Do you have any idea how much information... 71 00:05:11.311 --> 00:05:13.541 can be dispensed in one minute alone? 72 00:05:13.579 --> 00:05:17.106 Sir, had I been informed of this important meeting... 73 00:05:17.150 --> 00:05:19.448 I would have canceled my Pilates session this morning. 74 00:05:19.485 --> 00:05:21.180 I did not find out about it-- 75 00:05:21.220 --> 00:05:23.484 You're telling me that everyone in the room... 76 00:05:23.523 --> 00:05:25.753 knew about this little get-together except for you. 77 00:05:25.792 --> 00:05:30.593 People, you can pull a Rodman like our friend Delacroix... 78 00:05:30.630 --> 00:05:33.531 but I guarantee you'll be sent packing just like him. 79 00:05:33.566 --> 00:05:36.797 These are the ratings, people. Read 'em and weep. 80 00:05:36.836 --> 00:05:39.396 As you can plainly see... 81 00:05:39.439 --> 00:05:42.067 the Continental Network System is languishing. 82 00:05:42.108 --> 00:05:46.010 Look at 'em, people. Look very closely. 83 00:05:46.045 --> 00:05:50.311 We are booty, caca. We are doo-doo. 84 00:05:50.350 --> 00:05:52.147 I don't like to be the laughingstock... 85 00:05:52.185 --> 00:05:54.380 of the entire broadcast industry. 86 00:05:54.420 --> 00:05:57.389 I don't like these pricks who call themselves my bosses... 87 00:05:57.423 --> 00:05:58.651 breathing down my back. 88 00:05:58.691 --> 00:06:00.181 It makes me sweat. 89 00:06:00.226 --> 00:06:02.592 These numbers are totally unacceptable. 90 00:06:02.628 --> 00:06:04.152 These numbers have to go up. 91 00:06:06.833 --> 00:06:08.391 Question. 92 00:06:08.434 --> 00:06:10.095 What do you want us to do? 93 00:06:10.136 --> 00:06:11.660 Dumb-ass question. 94 00:06:11.704 --> 00:06:15.299 I want you to write some material that is funny. 95 00:06:15.341 --> 00:06:19.038 Your material is about as funny as a dead baby. 96 00:06:19.078 --> 00:06:22.809 It's not dope. It's not new. It's not sexy. 97 00:06:22.849 --> 00:06:23.873 It sucks. 98 00:06:23.916 --> 00:06:26.180 Thank you, Fish. It sucks. 99 00:06:26.219 --> 00:06:27.846 This meeting is over. 100 00:06:27.887 --> 00:06:29.878 But I want you to think about what I just said... 101 00:06:29.922 --> 00:06:31.719 and how you can deliver. 102 00:06:31.758 --> 00:06:36.024 Otherwise, things are gonna get very grim around here. 103 00:06:36.062 --> 00:06:37.893 Monsieur Delacroix. 104 00:06:37.930 --> 00:06:40.194 Can I see you in my office now, please? 105 00:06:41.367 --> 00:06:42.425 Yes. 106 00:06:42.468 --> 00:06:44.800 Seeing that you're all stretched out and shit. 107 00:06:44.837 --> 00:06:47.897 Sloan, why didn't I know about this important meeting? 108 00:06:47.940 --> 00:06:50.602 Nobody sent me an e-mail. I didn't have a memo. 109 00:06:50.643 --> 00:06:53.134 What good are you if I don't know about these things? 110 00:06:53.179 --> 00:06:55.670 Well, it wasn't my fault. 111 00:06:55.715 --> 00:06:58.878 I was embarrassed. Hey, Chuckie. 112 00:06:58.918 --> 00:07:01.386 Humiliated. 113 00:07:01.421 --> 00:07:04.254 But if I don't know, how are you gonna know? 114 00:07:04.290 --> 00:07:07.282 That's unacceptable. It better never happen again. 115 00:07:07.326 --> 00:07:09.419 Do you know what CP Time is? 116 00:07:09.462 --> 00:07:11.362 CP Time. 117 00:07:11.397 --> 00:07:13.695 CP Time is Colored People's Time... 118 00:07:13.733 --> 00:07:17.225 the stereotypical belief that Negroes are always late... 119 00:07:17.270 --> 00:07:19.534 that Negroes have no sense of time... 120 00:07:19.572 --> 00:07:22.666 except when it comes to music or dance... 121 00:07:22.708 --> 00:07:25.233 then you can set your watch to them. 122 00:07:25.278 --> 00:07:27.508 I'm sorry about my blowup. 123 00:07:27.547 --> 00:07:29.913 It's OK. I understand. 124 00:07:29.949 --> 00:07:31.940 Listen, let's sit down. 125 00:07:31.984 --> 00:07:36.580 I know you're the most creative person I've got on staff. 126 00:07:36.622 --> 00:07:39.250 I mean, you're hip, you know what's happening. 127 00:07:39.292 --> 00:07:41.726 I've got a bunch of pasty-ass white boys and girls... 128 00:07:41.761 --> 00:07:43.456 writing for me, you know what I mean? 129 00:07:43.496 --> 00:07:46.226 I grew up around black people my whole life. 130 00:07:46.265 --> 00:07:49.496 If the truth be told, I probably know niggers better than you. 131 00:07:49.535 --> 00:07:53.665 Don't go getting offended by my use of the N-word. 132 00:07:53.706 --> 00:07:56.004 I have a black wife and two biracial kids... 133 00:07:56.042 --> 00:07:57.339 so I feel I have a right. 134 00:07:57.376 --> 00:07:59.867 I don't give a goddamn what that prick Spike Lee says. 135 00:07:59.912 --> 00:08:02.813 Tarantino was right. "Nigger" is just a word. 136 00:08:02.849 --> 00:08:06.114 If Old Dirty Bastard can use it, why can't l? 137 00:08:06.152 --> 00:08:09.952 I would prefer if you did not use that word in my presence. 138 00:08:09.989 --> 00:08:11.354 Oh, really? 139 00:08:12.925 --> 00:08:14.688 Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger. 140 00:08:14.727 --> 00:08:18.629 Whitey, whitey, whitey, whitey! 141 00:08:18.664 --> 00:08:22.122 The material you've been writing is too white-bread. 142 00:08:22.168 --> 00:08:24.728 It's white people with black faces. 143 00:08:24.770 --> 00:08:27.466 The Huxtables, Cosby-- a genius, revolutionary. 144 00:08:27.507 --> 00:08:29.668 Theo, Lisa Bonet--dope. 145 00:08:29.709 --> 00:08:31.074 But we can't go down that road again. 146 00:08:31.110 --> 00:08:32.270 I disagree. 147 00:08:32.311 --> 00:08:34.506 The Negro middle class does exist... 148 00:08:34.547 --> 00:08:38.847 and it's fertile ground for a dramatic series or a sitcom. 149 00:08:38.885 --> 00:08:41.445 Look at this stuff I'm having to read. 150 00:08:41.487 --> 00:08:47.892 A black family moves into a white suburban enclave. 151 00:08:47.927 --> 00:08:50.054 This is shit. 152 00:08:50.096 --> 00:08:54.089 A black girl is adopted by some chink American family? 153 00:08:54.133 --> 00:08:55.157 They were Polynesian. 154 00:08:55.201 --> 00:08:57.761 A black headmaster is hired... 155 00:08:57.803 --> 00:09:01.899 at some old-money, crusty, Eastern boarding school. 156 00:09:01.941 --> 00:09:06.173 Garbage. It's too clean, it's too antiseptic. 157 00:09:06.212 --> 00:09:07.736 -It's too-- -White. 158 00:09:07.780 --> 00:09:10.476 Delacroix, wake up, brother man. 159 00:09:10.516 --> 00:09:12.746 The reason why these shows didn't get picked up... 160 00:09:12.785 --> 00:09:15.720 is because nobody, no-motherfuckin'-body... 161 00:09:15.755 --> 00:09:18.690 niggers and crackers alike, wants to see that junk. 162 00:09:18.724 --> 00:09:20.351 People want to be entertained. 163 00:09:20.393 --> 00:09:23.794 It didn't get picked up because no one gave it a chance. 164 00:09:23.829 --> 00:09:26.764 Oh, really? No one gave them a chance? 165 00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:28.994 You got your head stuck so far up your ass... 166 00:09:29.035 --> 00:09:33.267 with your Harvard education and pretentious Buppy ways. 167 00:09:33.306 --> 00:09:35.672 Brother man, I'm blacker than you. 168 00:09:35.708 --> 00:09:37.903 I'm keeping it real. I'm 'bout it, 'bout it. 169 00:09:37.944 --> 00:09:38.911 I got the roll. 170 00:09:38.945 --> 00:09:42.540 You're just frontin' tryin' to be white. 171 00:09:42.582 --> 00:09:44.948 I'm an Aryan. A sellout. 172 00:09:44.984 --> 00:09:48.943 Because I don't aspire to do "Homeboys from Outer Space"... 173 00:09:48.988 --> 00:09:51.252 "The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer"... 174 00:09:51.290 --> 00:09:53.758 or, as you may put it, some nigger show? 175 00:09:53.793 --> 00:09:56.557 -ls that what you think? -Yes, exactly. 176 00:09:56.596 --> 00:10:00.862 You and I know black people set the trends and styles. 177 00:10:00.900 --> 00:10:03.391 This is a golden opportunity for CNS... 178 00:10:03.436 --> 00:10:05.336 but these idiots have to be led to the water. 179 00:10:05.371 --> 00:10:06.770 We could do this together. 180 00:10:06.806 --> 00:10:08.933 I want a show that will make headlines. 181 00:10:08.975 --> 00:10:11.569 I want millions and millions of viewers tuned and glued... 182 00:10:11.611 --> 00:10:13.738 to their fucking televisions every week saying, 183 00:10:13.779 --> 00:10:17.340 "Did you see what the fuck they did on CNS last night?" 184 00:10:17.383 --> 00:10:20.716 I want advertisers sucking my dick to buy on this show. 185 00:10:20.753 --> 00:10:23.017 And I'll squeeze it out of you if it kills you. 186 00:10:23.055 --> 00:10:25.922 Peep this. I'll give you a thousand dollars... 187 00:10:25.958 --> 00:10:30.224 if you can name who the fuck number 24 is right there. 188 00:10:30.262 --> 00:10:32.162 You think I don't know? 189 00:10:32.198 --> 00:10:34.189 Who is it? 190 00:10:34.233 --> 00:10:37.725 That would be... 191 00:10:37.770 --> 00:10:39.362 Yeah. Who is it? 192 00:10:41.574 --> 00:10:43.201 I'll tell you like this... 193 00:10:43.242 --> 00:10:45.506 One day soon, man... 194 00:10:45.544 --> 00:10:48.012 I'm trying to live in a phat crib... 195 00:10:48.047 --> 00:10:50.015 bills paid for... 196 00:10:50.049 --> 00:10:52.779 get a ride, throw some rims on there... 197 00:10:52.818 --> 00:10:53.944 with a system. 198 00:10:53.986 --> 00:10:55.920 Throw up some platinum on the body... 199 00:10:55.955 --> 00:10:58.583 you know what I'm saying? Shiny. 200 00:10:58.624 --> 00:11:01.115 Ready to get some jewelry already, huh? 201 00:11:01.160 --> 00:11:03.219 That's the first thing we do, son. 202 00:11:03.262 --> 00:11:05.526 Get jewelry, we'll get some Hillnigger... 203 00:11:05.564 --> 00:11:08.055 and we get a ride. Throw some rims up there. 204 00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:09.761 Got to have some patience, man. 205 00:11:09.802 --> 00:11:11.531 I'm the brain of this outfit. 206 00:11:11.570 --> 00:11:14.630 And I'm the feet. 207 00:11:14.674 --> 00:11:16.699 Manny, I can't just snap my fingers... 208 00:11:16.742 --> 00:11:18.733 and presto-chango, you're an overnight sensation. 209 00:11:18.778 --> 00:11:20.507 Son, it don't work like that. 210 00:11:20.546 --> 00:11:22.377 What the fuck you think I am, Houdini? 211 00:11:22.415 --> 00:11:24.679 I'm just tired of waitin', man. 212 00:11:33.526 --> 00:11:35.756 Feed... 213 00:11:35.795 --> 00:11:37.490 the... 214 00:11:37.530 --> 00:11:39.828 idiot box. 215 00:11:39.865 --> 00:11:44.996 Feed the idiot box. 216 00:11:45.037 --> 00:11:47.972 Idiot, feed the idiot box. 217 00:11:53.979 --> 00:11:55.037 Hi. 218 00:11:55.081 --> 00:11:57.311 We're backstage at the theater. 219 00:11:57.349 --> 00:12:00.011 This is where we tape "The Chris Rock Show." 220 00:12:00.052 --> 00:12:01.883 Ah, my first writing staff. 221 00:12:01.921 --> 00:12:05.687 They really wanted to get to know the black experience. 222 00:12:05.725 --> 00:12:07.920 So I fired 'em. 223 00:12:11.097 --> 00:12:15.557 I was never good at performing under the gun. 224 00:12:15.601 --> 00:12:18.263 Well, this wasn't a gun. 225 00:12:18.304 --> 00:12:22.138 It was a bazooka pressed point blank against my temple. 226 00:12:22.174 --> 00:12:26.611 Anytime Pierre's in a jam, I get the call. 227 00:12:26.645 --> 00:12:31.639 I could always count on my lamb--Sloan Hopkins. 228 00:12:48.734 --> 00:12:51.396 Get up. Get up. 229 00:12:51.437 --> 00:12:53.405 Yo, come on, come on. 230 00:12:53.439 --> 00:12:54.929 Come on, come on! 231 00:12:54.974 --> 00:12:56.498 Come on! 232 00:12:58.911 --> 00:13:01.379 Please evacuate. 233 00:13:01.413 --> 00:13:05.247 All of you are illegal residents of this condemned building. 234 00:13:05.284 --> 00:13:09.880 Leave immediately by order of the mayor of New York City... 235 00:13:09.922 --> 00:13:11.685 Rudolph Guiliani. 236 00:13:12.758 --> 00:13:16.854 -Eureka! -Oh, my God. 237 00:13:19.899 --> 00:13:22.595 Please evacuate. 238 00:13:22.635 --> 00:13:27.163 All of you are illegal residents of this condemned building. 239 00:13:27.206 --> 00:13:31.142 Leave immediately by order of the mayor of New York City... 240 00:13:31.177 --> 00:13:32.872 Rudolph Guiliani. 241 00:13:32.912 --> 00:13:34.311 Manray! 242 00:13:39.051 --> 00:13:43.681 I can't believe Manray was under our noses the entire time. 243 00:13:43.722 --> 00:13:46.054 I know. Do you know how you use him? 244 00:13:46.091 --> 00:13:48.025 Dunwitty wants a coon show... 245 00:13:48.060 --> 00:13:50.324 so that's what I intend to give him. 246 00:13:50.362 --> 00:13:54.662 The show will be so negative, so offensive and racist. 247 00:13:54.700 --> 00:13:57.396 Hence, I will prove my point. 248 00:13:57.436 --> 00:13:58.994 Which is what? 249 00:13:59.038 --> 00:14:02.132 The point being that him, the network... 250 00:14:02.174 --> 00:14:04.199 does not want to see Negroes on television... 251 00:14:04.243 --> 00:14:06.336 unless they are buffoons. 252 00:14:06.378 --> 00:14:10.644 They definitely do not want to see dignified black people. 253 00:14:10.683 --> 00:14:12.878 I mean, they proved that by canceling your show... 254 00:14:12.918 --> 00:14:15.386 "Brown Nose Jones," which was briliant! 255 00:14:15.421 --> 00:14:17.582 After 13 episodes, they canceled it. 256 00:14:17.623 --> 00:14:20.751 They put it against "Seinfeld." It didn't have a chance! 257 00:14:20.793 --> 00:14:23.956 I don't know, Pierre. I really don't. 258 00:14:23.996 --> 00:14:25.964 It still sounds very risky. 259 00:14:25.998 --> 00:14:27.727 You are not getting cold feet? 260 00:14:27.766 --> 00:14:30.462 No. I'm down with you. 261 00:14:30.502 --> 00:14:34.336 Good. I'm going to need your undying support, lamb. 262 00:14:34.373 --> 00:14:37.536 Have you ever thought about just quitting? 263 00:14:37.576 --> 00:14:39.635 Quitters quit. 264 00:14:39.678 --> 00:14:43.205 Besides, I'll get sued. I have a contract. 265 00:14:43.249 --> 00:14:45.945 The only way I get out of that is if I get fired... 266 00:14:45.985 --> 00:14:49.113 and that is what I intend to do. 267 00:14:49.154 --> 00:14:51.748 You've seen my place down at the clock tower. 268 00:14:51.790 --> 00:14:53.257 I've got a mortgage. 269 00:14:53.292 --> 00:14:55.419 All right, well, I've got some work to do... 270 00:14:55.461 --> 00:14:58.589 so I will see you later. 271 00:14:58.631 --> 00:15:00.565 And you have a conference call. Don't forget. 272 00:15:00.599 --> 00:15:02.794 2:00, yes. 273 00:15:15.080 --> 00:15:17.241 Look, I know what I'm doing. Follow me. 274 00:15:21.820 --> 00:15:23.378 Good morning, fellas. 275 00:15:23.422 --> 00:15:26.550 We're looking for a Mr. Delapoint. 276 00:15:26.592 --> 00:15:28.389 There's no one here by that name. 277 00:15:28.427 --> 00:15:30.759 Delapot, Delapoint, Dela-something. 278 00:15:30.796 --> 00:15:33.560 De La Soul's not here, either. Step outside. 279 00:15:33.599 --> 00:15:35.897 -Come on, Delacox. -Off the premises. 280 00:15:35.935 --> 00:15:39.336 You know this guy. We asking you a question. 281 00:15:39.371 --> 00:15:41.965 You can wash your ass and brush your teeth. 282 00:15:42.007 --> 00:15:44.237 Whoa, whoa! 283 00:15:44.276 --> 00:15:46.870 Please. Hi, guys. Listen. 284 00:15:46.912 --> 00:15:50.075 These are associates of Mr. Delacroix. 285 00:15:50.115 --> 00:15:51.139 So you know them? 286 00:15:51.183 --> 00:15:53.811 Yes, I do. I know them very well. 287 00:15:53.852 --> 00:15:54.944 You need an escort? 288 00:15:54.987 --> 00:15:57.455 No, I got it. Thank you. 289 00:15:57.489 --> 00:15:59.116 Fellas, thank you. 290 00:15:59.158 --> 00:16:00.455 Sorry. We thought they were from the street. 291 00:16:00.492 --> 00:16:01.925 You were just doing your job. 292 00:16:01.961 --> 00:16:04.191 Don't worry about a thing. Thank you. 293 00:16:04.229 --> 00:16:05.594 Come on, inside. 294 00:16:05.631 --> 00:16:08.794 Hello. Wait a minute. 295 00:16:08.834 --> 00:16:11.667 Amos want to talk, too. 296 00:16:11.704 --> 00:16:14.264 All right. 297 00:16:14.306 --> 00:16:16.774 Good-bye, sweet dumplin'. 298 00:16:16.809 --> 00:16:19.573 The boy with the egg-shaped head. 299 00:16:19.611 --> 00:16:22.478 I mean, wait a minute. 300 00:16:22.514 --> 00:16:26.245 Hello, honey. 301 00:16:26.285 --> 00:16:27.445 Enter! 302 00:16:27.486 --> 00:16:31.149 Pierre. Look who I found. 303 00:16:31.190 --> 00:16:35.889 Eureka! I am so happy to see you cats. 304 00:16:35.928 --> 00:16:37.020 What's up, dude? 305 00:16:37.062 --> 00:16:38.290 Hey, what's up? 306 00:16:38.330 --> 00:16:41.697 You'd take no offense if we call you Dela for short? 307 00:16:41.734 --> 00:16:43.361 None taken at all, my friend. 308 00:16:43.402 --> 00:16:46.565 I have a concept for a television pilot. 309 00:16:46.605 --> 00:16:50.234 Now, there's no guarantee it will ever get made... 310 00:16:50.275 --> 00:16:54.006 but it is an opportunity for you gentlemen to make some cash. 311 00:16:54.046 --> 00:16:55.536 How much? 312 00:16:55.581 --> 00:16:56.707 First things first, my friend. 313 00:16:56.749 --> 00:17:00.344 I need to know that we are in sync creatively... 314 00:17:00.386 --> 00:17:03.184 and that Manray is up for this. 315 00:17:03.222 --> 00:17:05.247 Sure. What I got to do? 316 00:17:05.290 --> 00:17:09.192 You simply do what it is you do. 317 00:17:09.228 --> 00:17:11.253 And what you do best. 318 00:17:11.296 --> 00:17:12.422 Cool. Where do I sign? 319 00:17:12.464 --> 00:17:14.398 Whoa. "Where do I sign?" 320 00:17:14.433 --> 00:17:15.900 What kind of show is this? 321 00:17:15.934 --> 00:17:17.492 -Different. -How different? 322 00:17:17.536 --> 00:17:20.528 Impactful, cutting edge... 323 00:17:20.572 --> 00:17:24.736 and it will incorporate both of your very unique talents. 324 00:17:24.777 --> 00:17:26.870 Yes, and it's a hell of a lot better... 325 00:17:26.912 --> 00:17:29.073 than tap-dancing in the street for pennies. 326 00:17:29.114 --> 00:17:31.048 Trust us. 327 00:17:31.083 --> 00:17:34.211 I still have to pitch this to my superiors... 328 00:17:34.253 --> 00:17:36.448 but either way, we should know something soon. 329 00:17:36.488 --> 00:17:37.716 It sounds good to me. 330 00:17:37.756 --> 00:17:40.884 As long as I get to hoof, we'll be getting some loot... 331 00:17:40.926 --> 00:17:42.052 Good, yo. 332 00:17:42.094 --> 00:17:44.892 Because we're trying to get some income coming in. 333 00:17:44.930 --> 00:17:47.296 Money makes the wheels turn, my friend. 334 00:17:47.332 --> 00:17:49.630 What about the meantime, in-between time? 335 00:17:49.668 --> 00:17:51.761 I mean, you know, like... 336 00:17:51.804 --> 00:17:55.262 You're talking an advance. That's done. 337 00:17:55.307 --> 00:17:56.433 OK. 338 00:17:56.475 --> 00:18:00.673 Now, there is one other slight thing. 339 00:18:00.712 --> 00:18:03.579 I would like for you to change your name... 340 00:18:03.615 --> 00:18:05.173 if you don't mind. 341 00:18:05.217 --> 00:18:07.185 Change my name to what? 342 00:18:07.219 --> 00:18:08.186 To what? 343 00:18:08.220 --> 00:18:10.415 Mantan. 344 00:18:13.225 --> 00:18:16.092 All right. Mantan. It's cool. 345 00:18:16.128 --> 00:18:18.562 Like I told you, as long as I'm hoofin'... 346 00:18:18.597 --> 00:18:21.327 and gettin' some loot, I'm good, man. 347 00:18:21.366 --> 00:18:24.335 One thing. Can I get some new kicks? 348 00:18:24.369 --> 00:18:26.098 And some new tap shoes? 349 00:18:26.138 --> 00:18:29.403 Yes, you could use those. Sloan, new shoes. 350 00:18:29.441 --> 00:18:32.137 OK, new shoes. 351 00:18:32.177 --> 00:18:34.441 Let me get the whole Hillnigger hookup, huh? 352 00:18:34.480 --> 00:18:36.539 Some Hillnigger jeans? 353 00:18:36.582 --> 00:18:40.211 Definitely Mos Def. 354 00:18:40.252 --> 00:18:42.777 Some sweaters. 355 00:18:42.821 --> 00:18:44.686 Definitely some sweaters, nothing fancy. 356 00:18:44.723 --> 00:18:47.692 Some cashmere, wool, something like that. 357 00:18:47.726 --> 00:18:48.954 Cashmere, wool. 358 00:18:48.994 --> 00:18:51.292 Some underwear. 359 00:18:51.330 --> 00:18:55.630 Toothpaste. Toothbrush. Deodorant. 360 00:18:55.667 --> 00:18:58.227 We have deodorant. 361 00:18:58.270 --> 00:19:00.204 We might be able to use some more, though. 362 00:19:00.239 --> 00:19:04.642 I think I have this under control. 363 00:19:04.877 --> 00:19:06.902 Yes. OK. 364 00:19:06.945 --> 00:19:10.676 No. I understand completely. 365 00:19:10.716 --> 00:19:13.742 Yes, OK. Thank you, bye-bye. 366 00:19:13.785 --> 00:19:16.276 I've never had a real pair before. 367 00:19:16.321 --> 00:19:17.788 Really? Wow. 368 00:19:17.823 --> 00:19:20.792 You never had any formal training, either, have you? 369 00:19:20.826 --> 00:19:22.418 Not really. 370 00:19:22.461 --> 00:19:26.363 I picked up some steps from older cats. Slyde, Chaney. 371 00:19:26.398 --> 00:19:28.525 But, you know, most of the stuff, yeah. 372 00:19:28.567 --> 00:19:31.127 What's up with you and Dela? 373 00:19:31.170 --> 00:19:33.764 What do you mean, "What's up with me and Pierre?" 374 00:19:33.805 --> 00:19:35.966 Y'all together? 375 00:19:36.008 --> 00:19:38.704 Y'all knocking boots? 376 00:19:38.744 --> 00:19:40.712 Knocking boots? I don't think so. 377 00:19:40.746 --> 00:19:41.838 Never? 378 00:19:41.880 --> 00:19:43.643 Never. Like I said... 379 00:19:43.682 --> 00:19:47.049 I was at NYU, I got an internship. 380 00:19:47.085 --> 00:19:49.315 Pierre was very impressed with my get-up-and-go... 381 00:19:49.354 --> 00:19:50.878 so he kept me as his assistant. 382 00:19:50.923 --> 00:19:55.189 I'm sure that was the only thing he was impressed with. 383 00:19:55.227 --> 00:19:56.387 Yes. 384 00:19:56.428 --> 00:19:58.896 -You look beautiful like that. -Thank you. 385 00:20:23.021 --> 00:20:24.579 Little sister. 386 00:20:26.391 --> 00:20:27.722 What are you doing here? 387 00:20:27.759 --> 00:20:29.590 I need bail money. 388 00:20:29.628 --> 00:20:31.926 -Again? -Again. 389 00:20:31.964 --> 00:20:35.092 What's going on? How you feeling? 390 00:20:35.133 --> 00:20:37.294 I'm doing good. 391 00:20:37.336 --> 00:20:39.429 It's good to see your little sister... 392 00:20:39.471 --> 00:20:43.407 working hard for the man on the plantation. 393 00:20:43.442 --> 00:20:46.843 Enough of the family reunion in the middle of the street. 394 00:20:46.878 --> 00:20:48.641 Julius, what can I do for you? 395 00:20:48.680 --> 00:20:51.171 Damn it, Sloan. 396 00:20:51.216 --> 00:20:54.276 Damn, man, you can't keep doing that. 397 00:20:54.319 --> 00:20:56.651 It's not fresh. No, I'm serious. 398 00:20:56.688 --> 00:20:58.315 It's not cute no more. 399 00:20:58.357 --> 00:21:00.757 You keep calling me by the slave name our government-- 400 00:21:00.792 --> 00:21:02.726 It's just disrespectful, man. 401 00:21:02.761 --> 00:21:07.460 I hope you don't think I'll call you Big Black African. 402 00:21:07.499 --> 00:21:08.727 I do hope that. 403 00:21:08.767 --> 00:21:12.134 I would expect you call me whatever name I chose. 404 00:21:12.170 --> 00:21:13.262 I'm not doing that. 405 00:21:13.305 --> 00:21:16.399 Mommy and Daddy named you Julius... 406 00:21:16.441 --> 00:21:18.807 so that's what I'm gonna call you. 407 00:21:18.844 --> 00:21:20.675 It ain't like it's disrespect for Mommy and Daddy. 408 00:21:20.712 --> 00:21:23.340 It's about I got a name that I chose for my soul. 409 00:21:23.382 --> 00:21:25.816 They named Muhammad Ali Cassius Clay. 410 00:21:25.851 --> 00:21:27.842 You don't call him Cassius Clay. It's a dis. 411 00:21:27.886 --> 00:21:31.549 You don't call El-Hajj Malik Shabazz--Detroit Red. 412 00:21:31.590 --> 00:21:33.649 You don't call him Malcolm Little. It's Malcolm X. 413 00:21:33.692 --> 00:21:36.320 You show respect. Same thing with me, Sloan. 414 00:21:36.361 --> 00:21:38.454 It's easy. I was born with one name... 415 00:21:38.497 --> 00:21:40.761 but I chose for myself my own identity. 416 00:21:40.799 --> 00:21:43.495 Big Black Af. Big Black Africa. 417 00:21:43.535 --> 00:21:45.002 It's real simple. 418 00:21:45.037 --> 00:21:48.097 It ain't like I named myself...In Fufu. 419 00:21:48.140 --> 00:21:50.665 You want me to hook up you and the Mau Maus? 420 00:21:50.709 --> 00:21:54.543 Why would I hook up some black, red, green... 421 00:21:54.579 --> 00:21:58.015 flag-waving pseudo-revolutionaries? 422 00:21:58.050 --> 00:21:59.881 First, you done messed up the colors first. 423 00:21:59.918 --> 00:22:01.476 What's the colors? 424 00:22:01.520 --> 00:22:03.078 Damn, it's red, black, and green. 425 00:22:03.121 --> 00:22:05.282 White people know it's red, black, and green. 426 00:22:05.324 --> 00:22:08.953 And secondly, why are we pseudo? 427 00:22:08.994 --> 00:22:12.794 If we was talking about some ice and fuckin' Cristal... 428 00:22:12.831 --> 00:22:16.824 and pushin' Bentleys and fuckin' pop mogul... 429 00:22:16.868 --> 00:22:18.563 then we would be the fly shit? 430 00:22:18.603 --> 00:22:22.300 You like that shit. Bling blinging. 431 00:22:22.341 --> 00:22:25.936 Who or what are you revolting against? 432 00:22:25.977 --> 00:22:27.945 What are you talking about in all them songs? 433 00:22:27.979 --> 00:22:30.038 Mau Mau songs? 434 00:22:30.082 --> 00:22:31.379 Yeah, in the songs. 435 00:22:31.416 --> 00:22:34.817 Shit. We talking about fuckin' revolution. 436 00:22:34.853 --> 00:22:37.583 We talkin' about people gettin' free... 437 00:22:37.622 --> 00:22:39.556 the fuckin' America. 438 00:22:39.591 --> 00:22:42.287 USA, KKK, all that shit. 439 00:22:42.327 --> 00:22:44.022 This is the shit we're revolting against. 440 00:22:44.062 --> 00:22:46.360 People's hearts is all fucked up. 441 00:22:46.398 --> 00:22:48.161 People is stupid in their mind. 442 00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:49.827 Please stop. 443 00:22:49.868 --> 00:22:53.497 Golly day, you sound stupid. Retarded. 444 00:22:53.538 --> 00:22:54.562 I sound retarded, right? 445 00:22:54.606 --> 00:22:56.631 But fuckin' Master... 446 00:22:56.675 --> 00:22:58.939 That motherfucker is a fuckin' millionaire... 447 00:22:58.977 --> 00:23:00.877 gruntin' on records. That shit is crazy. 448 00:23:00.912 --> 00:23:03.403 If I had some platinum drawers, I'd be the nigger, right? 449 00:23:03.448 --> 00:23:07.384 Know what you should just do? Just introduce me. 450 00:23:07.419 --> 00:23:11.082 Word, him. You should just let me meet him. 451 00:23:11.123 --> 00:23:14.718 Why in the world would he write a show about the Mau Maus? 452 00:23:14.760 --> 00:23:16.193 Shit. 453 00:23:16.228 --> 00:23:18.992 You know how many fucking-- 454 00:23:19.030 --> 00:23:23.592 Aw, man. The fuckin' Monkees had a show. 455 00:23:23.635 --> 00:23:26.399 The Partridge Family. 456 00:23:26.438 --> 00:23:29.271 Shit, if them motherfuckers could have a show-- 457 00:23:29.307 --> 00:23:31.867 They had demographics. You don't. 458 00:23:31.910 --> 00:23:33.002 The Mau Maus? 459 00:23:33.044 --> 00:23:35.842 I'm telling you we got a underground following. 460 00:23:35.881 --> 00:23:38.645 It ain't big, but it's some small shit... 461 00:23:38.683 --> 00:23:42.744 that y'all could expand on and help blow that shit up. 462 00:23:42.788 --> 00:23:44.278 Let me put it to you like this. 463 00:23:44.322 --> 00:23:49.316 If I ever decide to do Brooklyn public television... 464 00:23:49.361 --> 00:23:51.329 I'll call you, but until then... 465 00:23:51.363 --> 00:23:53.888 I am not taking you to my new job... 466 00:23:53.932 --> 00:23:57.060 where I am on the rise... 467 00:23:57.102 --> 00:24:00.970 and have you and your crew blow up my spot. 468 00:24:01.006 --> 00:24:02.496 How is that blowin' up your shit? 469 00:24:02.541 --> 00:24:06.910 Y'all are embarrassing. Period. 470 00:24:09.080 --> 00:24:10.445 We're embarrassing? 471 00:24:10.482 --> 00:24:12.814 Y'all ignorant. Y'all ign'ant. 472 00:24:12.851 --> 00:24:14.648 Aw-ight, granted... 473 00:24:14.686 --> 00:24:17.814 I got a few niggers in my crew got problems... 474 00:24:17.856 --> 00:24:20.347 Hard Black, he-- Niggers ain't perfect. 475 00:24:20.392 --> 00:24:22.622 You talkin' a hole in my head. 476 00:24:22.661 --> 00:24:24.925 I got stuff to do. Let's wrap it up. 477 00:24:24.963 --> 00:24:28.160 That's fucked up, man. It's embarrasin'. 478 00:24:28.200 --> 00:24:30.430 Black folks been doin' that shit to each other... 479 00:24:30.469 --> 00:24:33.905 for the last 400 fucking years, man. 480 00:24:33.939 --> 00:24:36.737 This is like some house-nigger shit when you say that. 481 00:24:36.775 --> 00:24:38.242 Wait a minute. 482 00:24:38.276 --> 00:24:40.608 Don't go there. That ain't what I said. 483 00:24:40.645 --> 00:24:42.977 Hold up. 484 00:24:43.014 --> 00:24:46.381 Julius, are you calling your sister a house nigger? 485 00:24:46.418 --> 00:24:48.386 Sloan, that ain't what I said. 486 00:24:48.420 --> 00:24:49.682 I don't even know why you tryin' to go there. 487 00:24:49.721 --> 00:24:52.246 Why don't you take your field-nigger ass... 488 00:24:52.290 --> 00:24:53.723 up out my house-nigger house? 489 00:24:53.758 --> 00:24:57.285 You was just waitin' to throw me out anyway. 490 00:24:57.329 --> 00:24:59.490 All right, Martin. Just let me get some water. 491 00:24:59.531 --> 00:25:05.060 OK, get your water, and then you...OK 492 00:25:05.103 --> 00:25:07.401 Dela, my man, I'm glad you got your mind right. 493 00:25:07.439 --> 00:25:10.135 Well, it's right, tight, and ready to delight. 494 00:25:10.175 --> 00:25:11.472 I'm with this. 495 00:25:11.510 --> 00:25:13.501 Mr. Dunwitty, please sit back... 496 00:25:13.545 --> 00:25:15.638 and allow me to paint a picture. 497 00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:19.377 I'm all ears, and my nose is a close second. 498 00:25:19.417 --> 00:25:24.377 Now, I have been doing a lot of soul-searching. 499 00:25:24.422 --> 00:25:26.583 And, once again, you're right. 500 00:25:26.625 --> 00:25:30.527 My previous work has been all surface, superficial. 501 00:25:30.562 --> 00:25:31.824 It's a thing of the past. 502 00:25:31.863 --> 00:25:35.731 I've never really dug deep into my pain as a Negro. 503 00:25:35.767 --> 00:25:38.258 Hey, those things are hard to look at sometimes. 504 00:25:38.303 --> 00:25:39.998 Yes, yes, yes. 505 00:25:40.038 --> 00:25:42.165 And as Mark Twain so fully understood... 506 00:25:42.207 --> 00:25:44.675 satire is the way... 507 00:25:44.709 --> 00:25:47.371 if we are ever to live side by side... 508 00:25:47.412 --> 00:25:49.277 in peace and harmony. 509 00:25:49.314 --> 00:25:51.748 So, my show that I am pitching... 510 00:25:51.783 --> 00:25:54.843 is about promoting racial healing. 511 00:25:54.886 --> 00:25:58.219 Healing is great. I like this. Give me more. 512 00:25:58.256 --> 00:26:01.191 Now, I know you are familiar with minstrel shows. 513 00:26:01.226 --> 00:26:04.662 They came about in the 1840s. 514 00:26:04.696 --> 00:26:06.789 It was a variety show in which the talent... 515 00:26:06.831 --> 00:26:09.231 was singing, dancing, telling jokes, doing skits... 516 00:26:09.267 --> 00:26:10.825 Iike "ln Living Color." 517 00:26:10.869 --> 00:26:12.393 Right, that was dope. 518 00:26:12.437 --> 00:26:15.338 I ask you, when was the last time... 519 00:26:15.373 --> 00:26:18.433 there was a great variety show on the air? Carol Burnett? 520 00:26:18.476 --> 00:26:19.704 Carol was the bomb, yo. 521 00:26:19.744 --> 00:26:22.736 "Hee Haw?" "Kenan and Kel?" 522 00:26:22.781 --> 00:26:24.908 Yo, that's the stupidest shit on TV. 523 00:26:24.950 --> 00:26:27.510 So I say let's take this form... 524 00:26:27.552 --> 00:26:30.783 this very American tradition of entertainment... 525 00:26:30.822 --> 00:26:34.383 into the 21st century, the new millennium. 526 00:26:34.426 --> 00:26:37.827 What's the name of this show? We need something to sell. 527 00:26:37.862 --> 00:26:44.233 "Mantan: The New Millennium Minstrel Show!" 528 00:26:44.269 --> 00:26:47.295 "Mantan: The New Millennium..." 529 00:26:47.339 --> 00:26:51.833 I really, really like this. I'm gettin' a boner. 530 00:26:51.876 --> 00:26:54.743 The Swanson Johnson is getting hard. 531 00:26:54.779 --> 00:26:57.873 You know what I'm saying? I'm feelin' this shit. 532 00:26:57.916 --> 00:27:00.942 I like this. No, give me more. 533 00:27:00.986 --> 00:27:03.682 It's gonna take a lot of courage and backbone... 534 00:27:03.722 --> 00:27:06.919 on the part of CNS to get this thing on the air. 535 00:27:06.958 --> 00:27:08.892 Don't worry about that. That's my job. 536 00:27:08.927 --> 00:27:11.395 You just be the creative genius you've proven you are. 537 00:27:11.429 --> 00:27:14.364 Now, who are we gonna get to star in the show? 538 00:27:14.399 --> 00:27:16.526 Because we need a star to carry the show. 539 00:27:16.568 --> 00:27:19.594 I mean, Whoopi-- can she sing and dance anymore? 540 00:27:19.638 --> 00:27:21.731 Can she get jiggy? 541 00:27:21.773 --> 00:27:25.231 Ms. Goldberg is the wrong way to go with this thing. 542 00:27:25.276 --> 00:27:29.178 -Fuck her. -We want fresh faces. 543 00:27:29.214 --> 00:27:31.546 New talent. 544 00:27:31.583 --> 00:27:32.811 Young blood. 545 00:27:32.851 --> 00:27:35.115 Sloan, enter! 546 00:27:36.821 --> 00:27:39.153 -Hello, Sloan. -Hi. 547 00:27:39.190 --> 00:27:42.182 Gentlemen, please, have a seat. 548 00:27:42.227 --> 00:27:45.162 How you doin', guys? 549 00:27:45.196 --> 00:27:48.165 Are these my two little stars sitting in front of me? Mantan? 550 00:27:48.199 --> 00:27:51.327 That's me. I always wanted to be on TV. 551 00:27:51.369 --> 00:27:52.563 Now's your shot, kid. 552 00:27:52.604 --> 00:27:55.402 And that is Sleep'n Eat. 553 00:27:55.440 --> 00:27:58.898 -What's the name? -Sleep and Eat. 554 00:27:58.943 --> 00:28:01.537 Sleep and motherfuckin' Eat. 555 00:28:01.579 --> 00:28:03.979 Oh, shit. 556 00:28:04.015 --> 00:28:06.381 Oh, shit. 557 00:28:06.418 --> 00:28:10.582 Mantan, Sleep'n Eat. Two real coons. 558 00:28:10.622 --> 00:28:11.953 Keeping it real, baby. 559 00:28:11.990 --> 00:28:15.926 I know that this is out there, but it is satire. 560 00:28:15.960 --> 00:28:18.258 No, I want you to take it out there. 561 00:28:18.296 --> 00:28:20.560 Let's swing for the bleachers on this one. 562 00:28:20.598 --> 00:28:24.193 Every week, we follow the trials and tribulations... 563 00:28:24.235 --> 00:28:26.635 of Mantan, Sleep'n Eat-- 564 00:28:26.671 --> 00:28:29.572 two real coons, the Dusty Duo! 565 00:28:29.607 --> 00:28:31.040 What are their character traits? 566 00:28:31.076 --> 00:28:32.509 Ignorant. 567 00:28:32.544 --> 00:28:33.909 Dull-witted. 568 00:28:33.945 --> 00:28:37.972 Lazy. And unlucky! 569 00:28:38.016 --> 00:28:41.008 Exactly. Exactly what I'm lookin' for. 570 00:28:41.052 --> 00:28:44.886 Mantan here is the uneducated Negro... 571 00:28:44.923 --> 00:28:47.653 but with educated feets... 572 00:28:47.692 --> 00:28:51.389 who by some stroke of unbelievable stupidity... 573 00:28:51.429 --> 00:28:54.455 always makes his best-laid plans go haywire. 574 00:28:54.499 --> 00:28:56.729 Sleep'n Eat is his comical sidekick? 575 00:28:56.768 --> 00:29:00.761 Yes. Who sings like Sammy. 576 00:29:00.805 --> 00:29:03.638 He can sing, too? This is gonna be big. 577 00:29:03.675 --> 00:29:06.473 This could be bigger than "Friends," "Ally McBeal"... 578 00:29:06.511 --> 00:29:08.411 even my boys "Amos 'n' Andy." 579 00:29:08.446 --> 00:29:11.347 Protests finally got "Amos 'n' Andy" off the air... 580 00:29:11.382 --> 00:29:15.113 and that could very well happen to a program like this one. 581 00:29:15.153 --> 00:29:17.986 Let 'em try. 582 00:29:18.022 --> 00:29:20.217 Black folks will be outraged. 583 00:29:20.258 --> 00:29:23.022 So what? We'll just give the NAACP a little donation. 584 00:29:23.061 --> 00:29:25.427 I've dealt with those guys before. Big deal. 585 00:29:25.463 --> 00:29:28.796 Where I come from, there's no such thing as bad publicity. 586 00:29:28.833 --> 00:29:33.270 This is not about the NAACP. 587 00:29:33.304 --> 00:29:36.330 The content of the show is... 588 00:29:36.374 --> 00:29:39.138 It's just politically incorrect. 589 00:29:39.177 --> 00:29:41.611 Who wants to be P.C. these days anyway? 590 00:29:41.646 --> 00:29:44.809 A couple of minutes, you'll go singing and dancing... 591 00:29:44.849 --> 00:29:47.875 shucking and jiving, good fun home entertainment. 592 00:29:47.919 --> 00:29:49.352 Exactly. 593 00:29:49.387 --> 00:29:52.948 Let me ask you, who are the other characters? 594 00:29:52.991 --> 00:29:55.551 You got characters developed? It can't just be these two. 595 00:29:55.593 --> 00:29:59.256 We have three-dimensional characters. 596 00:29:59.297 --> 00:30:01.492 How about Honeycutt? 597 00:30:01.533 --> 00:30:04.058 Topsy? Rastus? 598 00:30:04.102 --> 00:30:06.468 Little Nigger Jim? 599 00:30:06.504 --> 00:30:08.404 And Sambo? 600 00:30:08.439 --> 00:30:12.773 And I would be remiss to not mention Aunt Jemima. 601 00:30:16.147 --> 00:30:19.014 Aunt Jemima's gonna rock the doo-rag, right? 602 00:30:19.050 --> 00:30:20.915 This is gonna be crazy shit. 603 00:30:20.952 --> 00:30:23.011 We're gonna hit 'em with the bomb-diggity on this one. 604 00:30:23.054 --> 00:30:24.988 Now, what's the setting? 605 00:30:25.023 --> 00:30:27.116 The projects. 606 00:30:27.158 --> 00:30:29.524 No. That's your first bad move. 607 00:30:29.561 --> 00:30:31.153 That's the problem with everything today. 608 00:30:31.196 --> 00:30:34.495 TVs, movies, hip-hop all takes place in the hood... 609 00:30:34.532 --> 00:30:36.796 and everybody wants to bust a cap in a motherfucker. 610 00:30:36.835 --> 00:30:38.735 That's not what we're gonna do here. 611 00:30:38.770 --> 00:30:40.203 No gold teeth, none of that shit. 612 00:30:40.238 --> 00:30:41.432 Check this out. 613 00:30:41.472 --> 00:30:45.067 "Mantan's New Millennium "Minstrel Show"... 614 00:30:45.109 --> 00:30:47.976 takes place on a plantation. 615 00:30:48.012 --> 00:30:49.502 Check this out. 616 00:30:49.547 --> 00:30:52.846 Every week, these two Alabama porch monkeys... 617 00:30:52.884 --> 00:30:55.910 they're gonna make us laugh, make us cry... 618 00:30:55.954 --> 00:30:58.149 they'll make us feel good to be Americans. 619 00:30:58.189 --> 00:30:59.383 You know what? 620 00:30:59.424 --> 00:31:03.019 The Alabama porch monkey plantation shit is wrong. 621 00:31:03.061 --> 00:31:06.030 OK, let's cut it. 622 00:31:06.064 --> 00:31:07.622 It should be a watermelon patch. 623 00:31:07.665 --> 00:31:08.723 What?! 624 00:31:08.766 --> 00:31:11.997 I like watermelon. It's good for you, too. 625 00:31:12.036 --> 00:31:13.060 Have you lost your mind? 626 00:31:13.104 --> 00:31:15.299 Do you know how much mail we will get? 627 00:31:15.340 --> 00:31:20.039 Exactly! There will be nothing else like it on television! 628 00:31:20.078 --> 00:31:21.477 Now, let me ask you a question, Mantan. 629 00:31:21.512 --> 00:31:24.106 How do you feel about performing just a little blackface? 630 00:31:24.148 --> 00:31:26.878 Whoa. In what? 631 00:31:26.918 --> 00:31:29.216 It's makeup. It'll lend authenticity. 632 00:31:29.254 --> 00:31:31.654 It's cool, man. I'm black, right? 633 00:31:31.689 --> 00:31:33.782 As long as the hoofin' is real. 634 00:31:33.825 --> 00:31:36.521 Motherfucker, you light-skinned. You gonna listen-- 635 00:31:36.561 --> 00:31:38.256 Sleep'n Eat, you're just keeping it real. 636 00:31:38.296 --> 00:31:39.558 My name is Womack. 637 00:31:39.597 --> 00:31:42.998 You want to show me a little something-something? 638 00:31:43.034 --> 00:31:45.059 Can I test out the waters here? 639 00:31:45.103 --> 00:31:47.071 -Yes, you may. -This is bizarre. 640 00:31:47.105 --> 00:31:51.098 Delacroix, my motherfucker, you dug deep. 641 00:31:51.142 --> 00:31:53.872 You dug deeper than deep, my man. 642 00:31:53.912 --> 00:31:55.777 To my loins. 643 00:31:55.813 --> 00:31:56.973 That's what I'm saying. 644 00:31:57.015 --> 00:31:59.950 -Here, take my seat. -Cool. 645 00:31:59.984 --> 00:32:02.043 How you want it? Raw? 646 00:32:02.086 --> 00:32:03.815 Flash? You want rhythm? 647 00:32:03.855 --> 00:32:06.221 I want it raw dawg without a bag, baby. 648 00:32:06.257 --> 00:32:08.054 Let me see you do your thing. 649 00:32:08.092 --> 00:32:10.720 I mean, keep it real. Just keep it real. 650 00:32:10.762 --> 00:32:13.026 Bust a move. Hop on up there. 651 00:32:13.064 --> 00:32:15.362 Raw dawg without a bag. 652 00:32:15.400 --> 00:32:16.424 Be careful, man. 653 00:32:50.702 --> 00:32:52.670 This kid is off the hook! 654 00:32:52.704 --> 00:32:55.229 This kid is off the hinges, yo! 655 00:32:55.273 --> 00:32:59.175 That's what I'm talking about! 656 00:32:59.210 --> 00:33:02.873 Mantan! Yo, we're gonna get paid! 657 00:33:02.914 --> 00:33:04.745 I'm about to go run upstairs with this. 658 00:33:04.782 --> 00:33:10.118 If CNS doesn't have the balls, somebody else will. 659 00:33:10.154 --> 00:33:12.088 My beautiful black princess. 660 00:33:12.123 --> 00:33:14.887 Delacroix! 661 00:33:14.926 --> 00:33:17.394 Yes, go do your little dirt. 662 00:33:17.428 --> 00:33:18.690 We in! 663 00:33:18.730 --> 00:33:21.563 Well... 664 00:33:21.599 --> 00:33:24.762 I think he bought it. 665 00:33:24.802 --> 00:33:26.201 This is some bullshit. 666 00:33:26.404 --> 00:33:28.099 The name of this shit right here... 667 00:33:28.139 --> 00:33:29.800 What's that, dawg? 668 00:33:29.841 --> 00:33:32.332 "Black is Black." 669 00:33:32.377 --> 00:33:33.969 It's hot. 670 00:33:34.012 --> 00:33:35.809 Now, that's some thinking. 671 00:33:35.847 --> 00:33:38.907 That's some shit right there, dawg. 672 00:33:38.950 --> 00:33:41.384 Y'all like that shit? 673 00:33:41.419 --> 00:33:44.411 The name of the album is "The Black Album." 674 00:33:44.455 --> 00:33:46.389 You know what I'm sayin'? 675 00:33:48.893 --> 00:33:50.724 That's the motherfuckin' way. 676 00:33:50.762 --> 00:33:55.961 "Black is Black" on the fuckin' "Black Album." 677 00:33:56.000 --> 00:33:59.401 Yo, but for real, though, we ain't never conformed... 678 00:33:59.437 --> 00:34:01.029 to none of the white man's rules. 679 00:34:01.072 --> 00:34:02.972 Fuck them motherfuckers. 680 00:34:03.007 --> 00:34:04.133 Know what I'm saying? 681 00:34:04.175 --> 00:34:07.008 Later for that old slave owner Webster. 682 00:34:07.045 --> 00:34:09.605 So I'm sayin', Big Black, you know what I mean? 683 00:34:09.647 --> 00:34:12.207 I respectively submit, you know what I'm saying? 684 00:34:12.250 --> 00:34:15.913 That we from here on, henceforth and whatnot... 685 00:34:15.953 --> 00:34:20.151 should spell "Black" B-l-a-k... 686 00:34:20.191 --> 00:34:22.785 not b-l-a-c-k, you know what I'm sayin'? 687 00:34:22.827 --> 00:34:24.522 Respectfully now. 688 00:34:24.562 --> 00:34:25.790 I'm feeling that. 689 00:34:25.830 --> 00:34:28.993 That's why you got to keep the wisdoms around, man. 690 00:34:29.033 --> 00:34:33.868 B-l-a-k, man. Blak the opposite of white, man. 691 00:34:33.905 --> 00:34:36.965 Like a member of the African community. 692 00:34:37.008 --> 00:34:38.600 'Cause you know how them gray people... 693 00:34:38.643 --> 00:34:40.736 been tryin' to trick us with they slickery? 694 00:34:40.778 --> 00:34:43.406 Because of they trickery. 695 00:34:43.448 --> 00:34:45.609 Peep the connotations of that. 696 00:34:45.650 --> 00:34:47.208 It's, like, Blak... 697 00:34:47.251 --> 00:34:48.616 Angry 698 00:34:48.653 --> 00:34:49.677 Dark 699 00:34:49.720 --> 00:34:50.914 Sullen 700 00:34:50.955 --> 00:34:52.081 Depressed 701 00:34:52.123 --> 00:34:53.613 Wicked 702 00:34:53.658 --> 00:34:54.818 Blackball 703 00:34:54.859 --> 00:34:55.826 Blacklisted 704 00:34:55.860 --> 00:34:57.327 Black cat is bad luck 705 00:34:57.361 --> 00:34:58.760 Bad guys wear black 706 00:34:58.796 --> 00:35:00.889 Must have been a white guy that started all that 707 00:35:00.932 --> 00:35:03.332 You know what I mean? 708 00:35:03.367 --> 00:35:07.167 Mau Mau Crew! 709 00:35:07.205 --> 00:35:08.331 I don't even know... 710 00:35:08.372 --> 00:35:10.237 why they put the "C" in there to begin with. 711 00:35:10.274 --> 00:35:12.640 Ain't even fuckin' pronounced in that shit. 712 00:35:12.677 --> 00:35:14.372 I love all of y'all niggas, man. 713 00:35:14.412 --> 00:35:15.572 Mau Mau Crew! 714 00:35:15.613 --> 00:35:17.444 To' up! 715 00:35:18.449 --> 00:35:20.781 This is Mantan Moreland. 716 00:35:20.818 --> 00:35:23.946 This is one of his most popular films--"The Lucky Ghost." 717 00:35:23.988 --> 00:35:26.752 It was from the 1940s. 718 00:35:26.791 --> 00:35:30.249 He was such a clown. 719 00:35:30.294 --> 00:35:32.626 A bit of a buffoon, but very funny. 720 00:35:32.663 --> 00:35:34.790 That ain't funny. 721 00:35:34.832 --> 00:35:36.459 Now, what is this? 722 00:35:36.501 --> 00:35:38.799 How does he make his eyes do that? 723 00:35:38.836 --> 00:35:40.736 He was gifted. 724 00:35:40.771 --> 00:35:45.834 Gentlemen, the show, our show is satirical. 725 00:35:45.877 --> 00:35:47.538 You know what that means? 726 00:35:47.578 --> 00:35:50.411 That means we are poking fun of this. 727 00:35:50.448 --> 00:35:54.316 Our aim is to destroy these stereotypes. 728 00:35:54.352 --> 00:35:58.550 I've put together these two portfolios... 729 00:35:58.589 --> 00:36:00.489 full of pictures and articles... 730 00:36:00.525 --> 00:36:02.755 everything you need to know about a minstrel show. 731 00:36:04.829 --> 00:36:08.424 Whoa, wait. Wait a minute. 732 00:36:08.466 --> 00:36:10.832 We gonna need a little more money for this. 733 00:36:10.868 --> 00:36:14.304 Come on. "Ten Little Niggers?" 734 00:36:14.338 --> 00:36:15.999 You get more money. 735 00:36:16.040 --> 00:36:18.372 Mantan in a chicken suit? 736 00:36:18.409 --> 00:36:20.468 Mantan! 737 00:36:20.511 --> 00:36:23.378 Come on, Mantan. 738 00:36:23.414 --> 00:36:25.348 Let's study this material. 739 00:36:25.383 --> 00:36:26.611 Study hard, gentlemen. 740 00:36:26.651 --> 00:36:28.710 You look great in those Hillnigger jeans. 741 00:36:30.721 --> 00:36:33.554 That motherfucker crazy, man. 742 00:36:33.591 --> 00:36:36.560 The good Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King... 743 00:36:36.594 --> 00:36:41.156 did not enjoy seeing his people beaten on the 6:00 news. 744 00:36:41.199 --> 00:36:43.827 However, white America needed to see that... 745 00:36:43.868 --> 00:36:46.598 in order to move this country to change. 746 00:36:46.637 --> 00:36:50.334 They need to see this show for that exact same reason. 747 00:36:55.046 --> 00:36:59.005 I'm gonna trust you know what you're doing, Pierre. 748 00:36:59.050 --> 00:37:01.416 That's my little lamb. 749 00:37:01.619 --> 00:37:03.553 I'd like to begin this meeting... 750 00:37:03.588 --> 00:37:07.957 by saying I am a fair person. A straight shooter. 751 00:37:07.992 --> 00:37:10.984 I do not hold my tongue. 752 00:37:11.028 --> 00:37:13.997 So I must tell you this, that I had nothing to do... 753 00:37:14.031 --> 00:37:16.898 with any of you being hired. 754 00:37:16.934 --> 00:37:18.629 If I had my druthers... 755 00:37:18.669 --> 00:37:21.297 there'd be at least one Negro writer in this room... 756 00:37:21.339 --> 00:37:27.141 and that afro does not qualify you, my Jewish friend. 757 00:37:27.178 --> 00:37:31.547 Having said that, I would like to open the floor... 758 00:37:31.582 --> 00:37:34.107 to some of your questions and comments. 759 00:37:34.151 --> 00:37:35.812 Look, I agree with you. 760 00:37:35.853 --> 00:37:38.686 It would be better to have some African-American writers... 761 00:37:38.723 --> 00:37:41.624 but, for whatever reason, they're not here. 762 00:37:41.659 --> 00:37:45.493 Maybe they couldn't find any people with experience. 763 00:37:45.529 --> 00:37:47.724 Or they wouldn't work for the pay... 764 00:37:47.765 --> 00:37:51.462 or they refused to work on the show. 765 00:37:51.502 --> 00:37:56.269 Or put their crack pipes down long enough to apply. 766 00:37:56.307 --> 00:37:57.433 Pierre, I don't know-- 767 00:37:57.475 --> 00:38:00.171 Mr. Delacroix. You don't know... 768 00:38:00.211 --> 00:38:02.202 Mr. Delacroix, I don't know... 769 00:38:02.246 --> 00:38:04.271 and I don't think anybody here does know... 770 00:38:04.315 --> 00:38:08.046 but what I do know is this will be a unique experience. 771 00:38:08.085 --> 00:38:12.181 I am a damn good writer and I'm ready to go to work. 772 00:38:15.626 --> 00:38:18.254 Thank you for rallying the troops, Peter. 773 00:38:18.296 --> 00:38:21.322 I've always loved the format of "Rowan & Martin's Laugh-ln." 774 00:38:21.365 --> 00:38:23.697 "Sock it to me." 775 00:38:23.734 --> 00:38:25.759 Or Pigmeat Markham. 776 00:38:25.803 --> 00:38:28.704 "Here come the judge." 777 00:38:28.739 --> 00:38:30.832 We should look back at those Seventies shows... 778 00:38:30.875 --> 00:38:32.866 which were groundbreaking. 779 00:38:32.910 --> 00:38:34.639 I'm from lowa, as you all know... 780 00:38:34.679 --> 00:38:38.115 and my first experience of the black... 781 00:38:38.149 --> 00:38:40.174 people of col--Africa... 782 00:38:40.217 --> 00:38:43.311 is shows like "The Jeffersons." 783 00:38:43.354 --> 00:38:47.188 George and "Weezy!" 784 00:38:47.224 --> 00:38:49.920 Better than "The Jeffersons." "Good Times." 785 00:38:49.960 --> 00:38:52.895 "Kid Dy-no-mite!" 786 00:38:52.930 --> 00:38:54.727 The whole J.J. thing. 787 00:38:54.765 --> 00:38:57.666 I think--and Delacroix will agree with me... 788 00:38:57.702 --> 00:39:00.398 that the politics of this show have to be right. 789 00:39:00.438 --> 00:39:02.963 This show we are doing is a minstrel show... 790 00:39:03.007 --> 00:39:07.967 which is blackface, tap dancing, singing sketches. 791 00:39:08.012 --> 00:39:09.946 You're putting white actors in blackface? 792 00:39:09.980 --> 00:39:11.038 No, my dear. 793 00:39:11.082 --> 00:39:15.212 We are using black actors with blacker faces. 794 00:39:15.252 --> 00:39:17.447 Don't you think people will be offended by this? 795 00:39:17.488 --> 00:39:19.752 Yes, that's good. I want them to be offended. 796 00:39:19.790 --> 00:39:21.155 I want to wake America up. 797 00:39:21.192 --> 00:39:25.686 Even though the material will be somewhat offensive... 798 00:39:25.730 --> 00:39:29.564 there is definitely a social message... 799 00:39:29.600 --> 00:39:33.297 that we should focus on... 800 00:39:33.337 --> 00:39:35.567 when writing the material. 801 00:39:35.606 --> 00:39:37.665 We're gonna need some big stars. 802 00:39:37.708 --> 00:39:41.200 No, no, no. You're gonna have a hard time... 803 00:39:41.245 --> 00:39:43.543 getting a big star to wear blackface... 804 00:39:43.581 --> 00:39:45.913 because they become invisible. 805 00:39:45.950 --> 00:39:48.748 So, I mean, to ask Denzel... 806 00:39:48.786 --> 00:39:50.913 to put on blackface is foolish. 807 00:39:50.955 --> 00:39:52.946 You been took! 808 00:39:52.990 --> 00:39:55.686 You been hoodwinked. Bamboozled. 809 00:39:55.726 --> 00:39:59.560 Now, I know that it may be hard for some of you... 810 00:39:59.597 --> 00:40:04.261 Iiberal-minded good white folks to write offensive material... 811 00:40:04.301 --> 00:40:09.000 yet I want you to tap into your white angst. 812 00:40:09.039 --> 00:40:12.702 I want you to go back to the O.J. Simpson verdict. 813 00:40:12.743 --> 00:40:15.576 I want you to deal with those emotions. 814 00:40:15.613 --> 00:40:19.481 How did you feel when the glove didn't fit? 815 00:40:19.517 --> 00:40:22.111 It was ridiculous. Cochran played the race card. 816 00:40:22.153 --> 00:40:23.484 The man is a murderer. 817 00:40:23.521 --> 00:40:25.580 If it had been a white man... 818 00:40:25.623 --> 00:40:27.648 The mission was accomplished. 819 00:40:27.691 --> 00:40:29.955 All of these people left the room thinking... 820 00:40:29.994 --> 00:40:31.928 they would have real input. 821 00:40:31.962 --> 00:40:38.526 I was writing this pilot alone, myself, me, moi. 822 00:40:38.569 --> 00:40:39.934 ...after the verdict. 823 00:40:39.970 --> 00:40:42.097 I want you to put yourself there... 824 00:40:42.139 --> 00:40:46.303 and this is your time to purge all those feelings. 825 00:40:46.343 --> 00:40:47.833 This is a family show? 826 00:40:47.878 --> 00:40:51.405 A family show that takes place in a watermelon patch. 827 00:40:51.449 --> 00:40:53.644 What? 828 00:40:53.984 --> 00:40:56.953 We're auditioning for a house band for the show. 829 00:40:56.987 --> 00:41:00.115 The name of the group is the Alabama Porch Monkeys. 830 00:41:00.157 --> 00:41:02.591 Do we have a problem, any concerns with that? 831 00:41:02.626 --> 00:41:03.593 No, sir. 832 00:41:03.627 --> 00:41:07.290 Please, let us hear some of your funk. 833 00:41:07.331 --> 00:41:09.322 Barefoot and pregnant 834 00:41:25.182 --> 00:41:26.877 Let me take it to the bridge 835 00:41:26.917 --> 00:41:28.646 Here we go 836 00:41:28.686 --> 00:41:31.678 You're barefoot 837 00:41:31.722 --> 00:41:33.553 Barefoot and pregnant 838 00:41:40.164 --> 00:41:42.428 Barefoot and pregnant 839 00:41:43.734 --> 00:41:45.634 She's barefoot and pregnant 840 00:41:45.669 --> 00:41:48.570 This was amazing. 841 00:41:48.606 --> 00:41:51.905 One small ad in "Backstage"... 842 00:41:51.942 --> 00:41:55.207 had Negroes lined up around the block. 843 00:41:59.083 --> 00:42:03.349 Were people really this desperate to get work? 844 00:42:03.387 --> 00:42:05.355 Apparently so. 845 00:42:05.389 --> 00:42:07.084 I'll be smackin' them hos 846 00:42:07.124 --> 00:42:09.558 I'll be smackin' my hos 847 00:42:09.593 --> 00:42:13.256 Everyone knows it goes, kick 'em to the floor 848 00:42:13.297 --> 00:42:15.595 Step on 'em hard, step on 'em hard 849 00:42:15.633 --> 00:42:18.693 Kick 'em to the floor, 'cause l 850 00:42:18.736 --> 00:42:20.931 I be smackin' my hos 851 00:42:20.971 --> 00:42:23.098 I be smackin' my hos 852 00:42:23.140 --> 00:42:26.075 I be smackin' my hos 853 00:42:26.110 --> 00:42:28.078 -Thank you. -Next! 854 00:42:51.235 --> 00:42:53.362 Thank you. Thank you. 855 00:42:55.172 --> 00:42:57.140 That was great. Please... 856 00:42:57.174 --> 00:42:59.642 That was great. Fantastic. 857 00:42:59.677 --> 00:43:00.939 Thank you. 858 00:43:00.978 --> 00:43:02.468 What is your background? 859 00:43:02.513 --> 00:43:05.573 I'm a actor. You know, I act. 860 00:43:05.616 --> 00:43:07.709 What is the last thing I might have seen you in? 861 00:43:07.751 --> 00:43:09.446 I act on my job all the time. 862 00:43:09.486 --> 00:43:12.922 Can you give me a little performance? 863 00:43:12.957 --> 00:43:15.585 I do all sorts of kind of things, man. 864 00:43:15.626 --> 00:43:16.957 Whatever you need me to do. 865 00:43:16.994 --> 00:43:18.985 I even do Shakespeare shit. 866 00:43:19.029 --> 00:43:20.496 Do some Shakespeare. 867 00:43:20.531 --> 00:43:22.692 To be or not to be, you know? 868 00:43:22.733 --> 00:43:24.633 That's the motherfuckin' question. 869 00:43:24.668 --> 00:43:29.128 You know, that is the motherfuckin' question. 870 00:43:29.173 --> 00:43:33.576 And, well, you know, like in "Hamlet"... 871 00:43:33.611 --> 00:43:36.273 there's a scene where this brother was-- 872 00:43:36.313 --> 00:43:38.508 Laertes was asking the king... 873 00:43:38.549 --> 00:43:40.312 that he wanted to go to Paris and shit. 874 00:43:40.351 --> 00:43:43.252 The king asked his daddy, and his daddy say... 875 00:43:43.287 --> 00:43:50.921 "He hath, my lord, wrung from me by laboursome petition..." 876 00:43:50.961 --> 00:43:53.862 Was there any more to it, or that was pretty much... 877 00:43:53.897 --> 00:43:56.889 Basically he was saying let that motherfucker go. 878 00:43:56.934 --> 00:43:58.834 Let him go, you know. 879 00:43:58.869 --> 00:44:01.133 I was working on this piece, 'cause I was sitting there... 880 00:44:01.171 --> 00:44:04.902 I realize that when I was looking at it... 881 00:44:04.942 --> 00:44:09.038 Niggas is a beautiful thing. You know? 882 00:44:09.079 --> 00:44:10.307 Write that down. 883 00:44:10.347 --> 00:44:12.941 And so it came to me. 884 00:44:12.983 --> 00:44:15.042 It just came to me, you know? 885 00:44:15.085 --> 00:44:18.248 Waste away your life and linger 886 00:44:19.957 --> 00:44:22.517 Sittin' at home watchin' Jerry Springer 887 00:44:24.728 --> 00:44:27.458 You do blackface and a monkeyshine 888 00:44:30.167 --> 00:44:32.533 And cut a "G" at the same time 889 00:44:34.138 --> 00:44:37.301 'Cause niggas is a beautiful thang 890 00:44:37.341 --> 00:44:39.775 Niggas is a beautiful thang, hit me 891 00:44:39.810 --> 00:44:42.335 Niggas is a beautiful thang 892 00:44:42.379 --> 00:44:45.246 Then the audience would be gettin' in with that. 893 00:44:45.282 --> 00:44:48.740 I'm digging that. I am so digging that. 894 00:44:48.786 --> 00:44:51.880 "Niggas is a beautiful thing." 895 00:44:51.922 --> 00:44:53.219 I got it here. 896 00:44:53.257 --> 00:44:55.122 Then it get into a gospel thing. 897 00:44:55.159 --> 00:44:56.820 Stand up 898 00:44:56.860 --> 00:44:58.555 If you a nigga 899 00:44:58.595 --> 00:45:01.723 'Cause, you know, it's about keeping it real. 900 00:45:01.765 --> 00:45:03.357 I'm feeling you. 901 00:45:03.400 --> 00:45:06.699 We are ready if you are ready 902 00:45:06.737 --> 00:45:09.205 Mau Mau 'bout to set shit off, say 903 00:45:09.239 --> 00:45:12.231 We are ready if you are ready 904 00:45:12.276 --> 00:45:14.836 Mau Mau 'bout to break shit off, say 905 00:45:14.878 --> 00:45:18.075 We are ready if you are ready 906 00:45:18.115 --> 00:45:19.912 Mau Mau, break it down, a roll call 907 00:45:19.950 --> 00:45:21.349 -Who are you? -Hard Blak 908 00:45:21.385 --> 00:45:22.784 Smooth Blak 909 00:45:22.820 --> 00:45:24.219 Mo Blak 910 00:45:24.254 --> 00:45:25.619 Your baby daddy 911 00:45:25.656 --> 00:45:26.850 Double Blak 912 00:45:26.890 --> 00:45:29.120 1/16th 913 00:45:29.159 --> 00:45:30.319 I'm Big Blak, and I just lay back 914 00:45:30.360 --> 00:45:31.793 Now, who are we? 915 00:45:31.829 --> 00:45:33.888 Mau Mau, M-a-u, M-a-u 916 00:45:33.931 --> 00:45:35.796 Drop inside 917 00:45:35.833 --> 00:45:36.800 Born to roll 918 00:45:36.834 --> 00:45:38.324 Yeah. 919 00:45:43.841 --> 00:45:46.002 It be about fuckin' freedom 920 00:45:46.043 --> 00:45:47.840 Reparation and apology 921 00:45:47.878 --> 00:45:50.005 The Africa to America odyssey 922 00:45:50.047 --> 00:45:52.072 Guerilla-type tactics on it 923 00:45:52.116 --> 00:45:54.016 Socialistic fallacies 924 00:45:54.051 --> 00:45:56.815 It be about the devastation of thought 925 00:45:56.854 --> 00:45:58.754 To keep a brown man down, sport 926 00:45:58.789 --> 00:46:00.518 The one you keep buying, that wretched set 927 00:46:00.557 --> 00:46:02.548 You're lucky I ain't read wretched yet 928 00:46:02.593 --> 00:46:04.424 It's fucked up 929 00:46:04.461 --> 00:46:07.259 It's Big Blak, Mr. Chairman of the Mau Mau 930 00:46:07.297 --> 00:46:09.788 I hear it well in all-black surround sound 931 00:46:09.833 --> 00:46:12.267 Barricaded till you can't move around now 932 00:46:12.302 --> 00:46:14.827 Doin' the super Klan, it ain't around now 933 00:46:14.872 --> 00:46:17.568 Buried six feet deep beneath the ground now 934 00:46:17.608 --> 00:46:20.634 Pull out, bow down 935 00:46:20.677 --> 00:46:22.611 Foot lies in the ground now 936 00:46:22.646 --> 00:46:23.613 Shake it down 937 00:46:23.647 --> 00:46:26.514 M-a-u, M-a-u on fire 938 00:46:26.550 --> 00:46:28.484 Black is back 939 00:46:28.519 --> 00:46:29.781 What's black? 940 00:46:29.820 --> 00:46:31.378 Black move to increase the black cause 941 00:46:31.421 --> 00:46:32.683 What's black? 942 00:46:32.723 --> 00:46:34.122 Shade of the universe 943 00:46:34.158 --> 00:46:36.251 Mau Mau got the time, born to roll 944 00:46:36.293 --> 00:46:39.194 Hard Blak, born to roll 945 00:46:39.229 --> 00:46:41.595 Mo Blak, born to roll 946 00:46:41.632 --> 00:46:44.032 Mau Mau, born to roll 947 00:46:44.067 --> 00:46:45.864 Back from the motherfuckin' forest 948 00:46:45.903 --> 00:46:47.165 Born to roll 949 00:46:47.204 --> 00:46:49.035 Born to roll 950 00:46:49.072 --> 00:46:52.041 Aw-ight, cut that off. 951 00:46:52.075 --> 00:46:53.508 Cut that off. 952 00:46:53.544 --> 00:46:55.307 Cut that off, cut that off! 953 00:46:55.345 --> 00:46:57.711 Yo, cut that shit off before I come up there! 954 00:46:57.748 --> 00:46:59.545 Cut the fuckin' sound off! 955 00:46:59.583 --> 00:47:01.141 Needless to say... 956 00:47:01.185 --> 00:47:05.952 the Mau Maus did not fit into our plans. 957 00:47:05.989 --> 00:47:07.923 As I told Sloan... 958 00:47:07.958 --> 00:47:10.483 "There's a black sheep in every family." 959 00:47:10.527 --> 00:47:12.654 -It's frightening. -lt should be. 960 00:47:12.696 --> 00:47:15.426 I don't want anything to do with anything black... 961 00:47:15.465 --> 00:47:17.194 for at least a week. 962 00:47:22.673 --> 00:47:25.403 For the love of Mary and Joseph! 963 00:47:28.545 --> 00:47:31.844 I will not be held responsible for these revisions. 964 00:47:31.882 --> 00:47:34.783 These changes are not the way I want to go with this show. 965 00:47:34.818 --> 00:47:37.844 This is an outrage, a sham, a violation... 966 00:47:37.888 --> 00:47:39.583 a debacle, a mockery. 967 00:47:39.623 --> 00:47:41.682 Will you just calm down, please? 968 00:47:41.725 --> 00:47:43.249 In Finland, we get upset-- 969 00:47:43.293 --> 00:47:45.591 I don't give a good goddamn what they do in Finland... 970 00:47:45.629 --> 00:47:47.221 Sweden, Norway, or wherever the hell... 971 00:47:47.264 --> 00:47:49.596 your young, dumb, blond white ass is from. 972 00:47:49.633 --> 00:47:52.227 We just punched it up. Made it funnier. 973 00:47:52.269 --> 00:47:54.999 Funnier to whom? And at whose expense? 974 00:47:55.038 --> 00:47:58.371 Mr. Dunwitty, when the Negroes run amok... 975 00:47:58.408 --> 00:48:00.273 and the boycotts commence... 976 00:48:00.310 --> 00:48:02.141 I'm going to personally give the Reverend Al Sharpton... 977 00:48:02.179 --> 00:48:03.669 your home address. 978 00:48:03.714 --> 00:48:06.239 I seriously doubt that will ever happen. 979 00:48:06.283 --> 00:48:07.750 I know your people better than you. 980 00:48:07.784 --> 00:48:09.911 Look at all the brothers on the wall. 981 00:48:09.953 --> 00:48:14.447 And if Reverend Al "Do" Sharpton shows up at my door... 982 00:48:14.491 --> 00:48:16.356 I'll invite him in, and we'll have a sit-down... 983 00:48:16.393 --> 00:48:19.453 and discuss it like civil human beings. 984 00:48:19.496 --> 00:48:21.259 Really? 985 00:48:21.298 --> 00:48:23.926 Now, can you not interrupt me while I'm discussing... 986 00:48:23.967 --> 00:48:26.367 the visual style and tone of the show, please? 987 00:48:26.403 --> 00:48:28.394 What were you saying, Jukka? 988 00:48:37.147 --> 00:48:38.273 How y'all doin'? 989 00:48:39.616 --> 00:48:40.878 Let me hear you! 990 00:48:40.918 --> 00:48:42.476 Thank you! Thank you! 991 00:48:42.519 --> 00:48:43.952 I love you so much. 992 00:48:43.987 --> 00:48:46.854 Whoa, I like this. 993 00:48:46.890 --> 00:48:51.293 My name is Honeycutt. Can you say that? 994 00:48:51.328 --> 00:48:54.126 Whenever you see me, I'm gonna give you my greetin'. 995 00:48:57.267 --> 00:48:58.529 And you say... 996 00:49:04.408 --> 00:49:05.568 Hello, Jukka. 997 00:49:05.609 --> 00:49:07.907 Just wanted to wish you good luck. 998 00:49:07.945 --> 00:49:10.140 -Thank you very much. -Do a good show. 999 00:49:10.180 --> 00:49:11.943 I always try to do my best. 1000 00:49:11.982 --> 00:49:13.609 As usual, I did my research. 1001 00:49:13.650 --> 00:49:17.609 We should blacken up like they did back in the day. 1002 00:49:17.654 --> 00:49:19.246 Keep the ritual the same. 1003 00:49:19.289 --> 00:49:22.656 So, pour some alcohol on the corks and light it. 1004 00:49:22.693 --> 00:49:26.288 Let them burn to a crisp, and when burnt out... 1005 00:49:26.330 --> 00:49:29.060 mash them to a powder. 1006 00:49:30.500 --> 00:49:33.060 Add water. 1007 00:49:33.103 --> 00:49:35.128 Mix to a thick paste. 1008 00:49:35.172 --> 00:49:39.040 And voila, you have your blackface. 1009 00:49:40.577 --> 00:49:43.410 But please put cocoa butter on your face and hands... 1010 00:49:43.447 --> 00:49:45.278 to protect your skin. 1011 00:50:07.504 --> 00:50:11.031 And the final detail... 1012 00:50:11.074 --> 00:50:12.735 are the lips. 1013 00:50:12.776 --> 00:50:15.267 The redder the lipstick, the better. 1014 00:50:15.312 --> 00:50:19.681 So, I suggest fire-truck red. 1015 00:50:23.787 --> 00:50:27.689 Show...time. 1016 00:50:37.834 --> 00:50:41.702 This here's my best friend Sleep'n Eat. 1017 00:50:41.738 --> 00:50:45.230 This here's my best friend Mantan. 1018 00:50:45.275 --> 00:50:50.440 And we are two real coons. 1019 00:50:50.480 --> 00:50:54.041 We left the hustle and bustle of uptown Harlem. 1020 00:50:54.084 --> 00:50:55.847 The Big Apple. 1021 00:50:55.886 --> 00:50:59.253 New York! New York! Skyscrapers and everything. 1022 00:50:59.289 --> 00:51:01.223 To return to our roots. 1023 00:51:01.258 --> 00:51:03.556 Our Alabammy home. That's right. 1024 00:51:03.593 --> 00:51:06.084 We is countrified. We is sho nuff Bamas. 1025 00:51:06.129 --> 00:51:08.689 Here come the Bamas. 1026 00:51:08.732 --> 00:51:11.394 No more city slickers. 1027 00:51:11.435 --> 00:51:16.304 Can't you smell that sweet aroma... 1028 00:51:16.339 --> 00:51:18.432 of high cotton... 1029 00:51:18.475 --> 00:51:20.636 and ripe watermelon? 1030 00:51:20.677 --> 00:51:24.374 Nigga, now don't you get me to sniffin'. 1031 00:51:24.414 --> 00:51:27.349 Why don't you show us some of them educated feets? 1032 00:51:30.153 --> 00:51:33.816 Cousins, first, second, third, and distant... 1033 00:51:33.857 --> 00:51:37.054 why don't you let Mantan take you back to a simpler time? 1034 00:51:37.094 --> 00:51:40.393 A time when men was men... 1035 00:51:40.430 --> 00:51:42.694 and women was women... 1036 00:51:42.732 --> 00:51:44.393 and nigras knew they place. 1037 00:51:48.004 --> 00:51:51.201 Cousins, I want you all to go to your windows. 1038 00:51:51.241 --> 00:51:52.367 Open 'em up. 1039 00:51:52.409 --> 00:51:54.707 Go to your windows and yell out... 1040 00:51:54.744 --> 00:51:56.268 "I'm tired of the drugs. 1041 00:51:56.313 --> 00:52:01.080 "I'm tired of the crack babies born out of wedlock... 1042 00:52:01.118 --> 00:52:03.586 "to crackhead AlD-infested parents. 1043 00:52:03.620 --> 00:52:07.488 "I'm tired of the inflated welfare rolls... 1044 00:52:07.524 --> 00:52:09.253 "while good wholesome Americans... 1045 00:52:09.292 --> 00:52:13.058 "bring less and less of their paycheck home... 1046 00:52:13.096 --> 00:52:14.825 "every two weeks." 1047 00:52:14.865 --> 00:52:15.991 That's a long time, too. 1048 00:52:16.032 --> 00:52:19.763 I'm tired. You're tired. We're all tired... 1049 00:52:19.803 --> 00:52:23.671 of all these so-called, Bible-thumpin'... 1050 00:52:23.707 --> 00:52:25.504 Swing down, sweet low 1051 00:52:25.542 --> 00:52:26.770 God-fearin'... 1052 00:52:26.810 --> 00:52:28.141 G.P., are you with me? 1053 00:52:28.178 --> 00:52:32.478 whore-mongling professional athletes. 1054 00:52:32.516 --> 00:52:35.110 You's a fine motherfucker, baby, back that ass up. 1055 00:52:35.152 --> 00:52:37.450 Cousins, I want you to go to your windows... 1056 00:52:37.487 --> 00:52:40.888 yell out, scream with all the life you can muster up... 1057 00:52:40.924 --> 00:52:44.360 inside your bruised, battered, assaulted bodies... 1058 00:52:44.394 --> 00:52:46.157 "I'm sick and tired of niggers... 1059 00:52:46.196 --> 00:52:49.359 "and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" 1060 00:52:49.399 --> 00:52:53.301 That boy something else. Once he get to talkin'-- 1061 00:52:54.471 --> 00:52:57.531 Lord, have mercy. He done did it again. 1062 00:52:57.574 --> 00:52:59.542 Let me get him on up. I got something for him. 1063 00:52:59.576 --> 00:53:02.511 Watch this. Like a mad streak. 1064 00:53:02.546 --> 00:53:05.481 Got to do my watermelon patch. Running Man. 1065 00:53:05.515 --> 00:53:08.143 Got to do the running slave. Watch this. 1066 00:53:10.687 --> 00:53:12.552 Doctor don't know nothing about these. 1067 00:53:12.589 --> 00:53:14.216 Here I go. 1068 00:53:14.257 --> 00:53:16.725 Down 1069 00:53:18.862 --> 00:53:20.796 Come on, now. Come on. 1070 00:53:20.830 --> 00:53:22.127 I'm rubbing the genie's lamp. 1071 00:53:22.165 --> 00:53:25.931 It's an emergency situation. Clear! 1072 00:53:25.969 --> 00:53:28.995 Dem nigger apples work every goddamn time! 1073 00:53:29.039 --> 00:53:30.973 Come on, boy! 1074 00:53:31.007 --> 00:53:32.338 Let's do this here. 1075 00:53:32.375 --> 00:53:33.865 You lucky we ain't in the jailhouse. 1076 00:53:33.910 --> 00:53:35.309 I'll be like Captain Kirk of the "Enterprise"... 1077 00:53:35.345 --> 00:53:37.506 going into the big black hole. 1078 00:53:37.547 --> 00:53:38.741 Give me one. Hut-one! 1079 00:53:38.782 --> 00:53:39.908 Hut... 1080 00:53:39.950 --> 00:53:41.850 Man, shit, just hut. 1081 00:53:41.885 --> 00:53:43.785 Here we go now. I'm running, too. 1082 00:53:50.493 --> 00:53:52.222 Any pretty niggas in the house? 1083 00:53:53.230 --> 00:53:54.527 Come on out. 1084 00:55:12.309 --> 00:55:14.209 Take it home. 1085 00:55:14.244 --> 00:55:16.075 All right. 1086 00:55:28.291 --> 00:55:30.020 Bravo! 1087 00:56:02.225 --> 00:56:04.557 I just got the news from the CNS brass... 1088 00:56:04.594 --> 00:56:05.822 that was at the taping. 1089 00:56:05.862 --> 00:56:07.261 They loved the pilot. 1090 00:56:07.297 --> 00:56:09.959 We're a midseason replacement. They ordered twelve shows. 1091 00:56:09.999 --> 00:56:12.467 We're going to be on the air in three weeks. 1092 00:56:14.237 --> 00:56:16.137 Did you hear what I just said? 1093 00:56:16.172 --> 00:56:17.400 They didn't even view a rough cut. 1094 00:56:17.440 --> 00:56:19.840 They looked at some scenes we quickly put together. 1095 00:56:19.876 --> 00:56:21.468 They were sweating us, man. 1096 00:56:21.511 --> 00:56:23.843 There must be some sort of mistake. 1097 00:56:23.880 --> 00:56:27.475 Only mistake is I didn't believe in your genius from jump street. 1098 00:56:27.517 --> 00:56:29.485 Dela, you are the man, bro. 1099 00:56:32.288 --> 00:56:35.086 Please, hold a second. I have to take this call. 1100 00:56:36.960 --> 00:56:38.086 Peerless? 1101 00:56:38.128 --> 00:56:41.359 Hi, Mom. Could you hold the line? 1102 00:56:41.398 --> 00:56:44.424 I have to get rid of this other... 1103 00:56:44.467 --> 00:56:48.198 Mr. Dunwitty, it's my mom. I really have to take this. 1104 00:56:48.238 --> 00:56:50.229 Your mama? I want to meet her someday. 1105 00:56:50.273 --> 00:56:53.936 Tell the great news. I'm out like Vanilla lce. 1106 00:56:57.414 --> 00:56:59.075 Peerless, your daddy called. 1107 00:56:59.115 --> 00:57:00.980 He wants you to come and see him. 1108 00:57:04.587 --> 00:57:07.283 They got all this controversy in Hollywood about black films... 1109 00:57:07.323 --> 00:57:08.881 and all this stuff about black folks-- 1110 00:57:08.925 --> 00:57:10.859 Are there enough of them on TV? 1111 00:57:10.894 --> 00:57:13.692 But we know we on the news. We all over the news. 1112 00:57:13.730 --> 00:57:15.197 My favorite black show is "Cops." 1113 00:57:15.231 --> 00:57:18.223 You know we on that, too. 1114 00:57:18.268 --> 00:57:22.602 I can't watch all that stuff-- that WB--We Be Black. 1115 00:57:22.639 --> 00:57:24.971 Little nigger frog look like Quincy Jones. 1116 00:57:25.008 --> 00:57:26.873 I can't watch all that. 1117 00:57:26.910 --> 00:57:32.109 UPN--You Pick a Nigger-- any nigger you want. 1118 00:57:32.148 --> 00:57:36.517 But I have to confess, I love "Jerry Springer." 1119 00:57:36.553 --> 00:57:39.317 It's the all-American show. 1120 00:57:39.355 --> 00:57:41.016 Where else can you see three white women... 1121 00:57:41.057 --> 00:57:43.252 fight over a nigger with one tooth? 1122 00:57:48.231 --> 00:57:50.324 And no job. 1123 00:57:50.366 --> 00:57:53.130 And speaks fluent Ebonics. 1124 00:57:53.169 --> 00:57:55.137 "Reggie, how come you got three women?" 1125 00:57:55.171 --> 00:57:57.935 "They like dick, Jerry." 1126 00:57:57.974 --> 00:58:00.499 "Your mama like dick?" 1127 00:58:00.543 --> 00:58:03.011 I wrote a movie and sold it to the studio. 1128 00:58:03.046 --> 00:58:04.775 I'm real excited about it. 1129 00:58:04.814 --> 00:58:08.011 "Last White Man on Earth." 1130 00:58:08.051 --> 00:58:10.417 Don't look for a sequel. We catch him. 1131 00:58:14.657 --> 00:58:18.457 Starring Diana Ross and Whoopi Goldberg. 1132 00:58:18.495 --> 00:58:19.689 We beat them for about five minutes. 1133 00:58:19.729 --> 00:58:22.698 "Where is he? We saw you with him." 1134 00:58:25.468 --> 00:58:28.835 Have you noticed that everybody white want to be black? 1135 00:58:28.872 --> 00:58:30.362 White folks want to be black folks. 1136 00:58:30.406 --> 00:58:31.634 I went to school with white people. 1137 00:58:31.674 --> 00:58:33.642 Their lips weren't that big. 1138 00:58:33.676 --> 00:58:35.974 They get stuff in their lips. They take it out their behind. 1139 00:58:36.012 --> 00:58:38.207 They do anything to get big nigger lips. 1140 00:58:38.248 --> 00:58:39.738 Black people been killed on the highway. 1141 00:58:39.782 --> 00:58:42.182 They come by. "I'll take these." 1142 00:58:44.888 --> 00:58:47.618 The lips so big, the little kids look adopted. 1143 00:58:48.992 --> 00:58:51.893 Everybody want to be black, but nobody want to be black. 1144 00:58:51.928 --> 00:58:53.589 It confuses me. 1145 00:58:53.630 --> 00:58:55.621 They all act black, sound black. 1146 00:58:55.665 --> 00:58:57.530 I hope they start hanging niggers again. 1147 00:58:57.567 --> 00:59:00.331 I'm going to find out who's black. 1148 00:59:00.370 --> 00:59:04.966 Tell you some street jokes. I love them. 1149 00:59:05.008 --> 00:59:06.976 Ain't they the funniest? 1150 00:59:11.481 --> 00:59:13.506 A nigger escaped from the crazy house. 1151 00:59:16.553 --> 00:59:18.350 That's already scary. 1152 00:59:19.389 --> 00:59:22.688 And ran to where the nuns live. 1153 00:59:22.725 --> 00:59:26.092 There was Sister Mary, Sister Jane, and Mother Theresa. 1154 00:59:26.129 --> 00:59:28.063 He went in there buck naked... 1155 00:59:28.097 --> 00:59:30.930 and had the biggest, thickest, longest penis you ever seen. 1156 00:59:30.967 --> 00:59:32.229 He was all skin. 1157 00:59:32.268 --> 00:59:35.294 So, Sister Mary wanted to protect Mother Theresa. 1158 00:59:35.338 --> 00:59:37.203 She grabbed a butcher knife. 1159 00:59:37.240 --> 00:59:40.368 "Mother Theresa, where do you want me to start cutting?" 1160 00:59:40.410 --> 00:59:43.311 Mother Theresa said, "Here and here." 1161 00:59:47.250 --> 00:59:49.013 You know that shit is funny. 1162 00:59:49.052 --> 00:59:51.077 Who is it? 1163 00:59:51.120 --> 00:59:53.315 Peerless. 1164 00:59:53.356 --> 00:59:55.381 That's my son at the door. 1165 00:59:59.562 --> 01:00:00.722 How are you doing? 1166 01:00:00.763 --> 01:00:04.096 Looking good. Good to see you. 1167 01:00:04.133 --> 01:00:05.293 Looking good, son. 1168 01:00:05.335 --> 01:00:07.530 You look dandy in that orange ensemble. 1169 01:00:07.570 --> 01:00:09.561 Have a seat, son. 1170 01:00:12.108 --> 01:00:14.201 -You were hilarious. -Thank you. 1171 01:00:14.243 --> 01:00:16.404 Absolutely hilarious. 1172 01:00:16.446 --> 01:00:17.845 It was a good show. 1173 01:00:17.880 --> 01:00:19.871 Dot, get my son a drink. 1174 01:00:19.916 --> 01:00:21.349 Sure thing, baby. 1175 01:00:21.384 --> 01:00:25.115 I always enjoy seeing you perform. 1176 01:00:25.154 --> 01:00:28.590 Good, good. I try. 1177 01:00:28.625 --> 01:00:30.320 You do more than try. 1178 01:00:30.360 --> 01:00:31.884 You succeed. 1179 01:00:33.329 --> 01:00:34.853 I hope this is all right. 1180 01:00:34.897 --> 01:00:36.524 -It's perfect. Thank you. -You're welcome. 1181 01:00:36.566 --> 01:00:38.625 Cheers. 1182 01:00:38.668 --> 01:00:41.831 Guess I'd better leave y'all two alone, all right? 1183 01:00:41.871 --> 01:00:44.101 That was a good show tonight. Give me some sugar. 1184 01:00:44.140 --> 01:00:46.404 -I love you, baby. -I love you, too. 1185 01:00:46.442 --> 01:00:48.706 I'm so proud of you. 1186 01:00:48.745 --> 01:00:50.144 All right. 1187 01:00:50.179 --> 01:00:51.339 Be back. 1188 01:00:53.883 --> 01:00:56.010 That's a good woman. 1189 01:00:56.052 --> 01:00:58.213 How did you end up here? 1190 01:00:58.254 --> 01:01:03.317 I got too much pride, too much dignity... 1191 01:01:03.359 --> 01:01:05.418 integrity. 1192 01:01:05.461 --> 01:01:07.395 I can't do that Hollywood stuff, man. 1193 01:01:07.430 --> 01:01:10.126 I can't say that stuff they want me to say. 1194 01:01:10.166 --> 01:01:13.192 There's got to be something more than that. 1195 01:01:13.236 --> 01:01:14.931 Reality, I mean. 1196 01:01:14.971 --> 01:01:18.668 Maybe you weren't funny enough. 1197 01:01:18.708 --> 01:01:20.972 You must be crazy, man. 1198 01:01:21.010 --> 01:01:22.944 Didn't you hear that audience tonight? 1199 01:01:22.979 --> 01:01:25.106 They were with me. 1200 01:01:25.148 --> 01:01:28.083 They were laughing with me. They got me. 1201 01:01:28.117 --> 01:01:31.985 I'm funny as hell, OK? What you up to? 1202 01:01:32.021 --> 01:01:33.886 Trying to get my stuff on the air. 1203 01:01:35.258 --> 01:01:38.625 Where do you go from here? 1204 01:01:38.661 --> 01:01:41.391 South Carolina, another little nigger club. 1205 01:01:41.431 --> 01:01:43.763 No, I meant in life. Where do you go? 1206 01:01:43.800 --> 01:01:45.392 In life? 1207 01:01:45.435 --> 01:01:46.732 I'm happy. 1208 01:01:46.769 --> 01:01:48.794 Got me a pretty woman. 1209 01:01:48.838 --> 01:01:52.296 Got a little money in my pocket. 1210 01:01:52.341 --> 01:01:53.706 Got me some tonic. 1211 01:01:53.743 --> 01:01:56.803 I'm above ground. I'm ahead of the game. 1212 01:01:56.846 --> 01:01:58.871 And you know what I always taught you. 1213 01:01:58.915 --> 01:02:01.383 Every nigger is an entertainer. 1214 01:02:03.786 --> 01:02:05.549 The question is... 1215 01:02:05.588 --> 01:02:07.385 What are you going to do, Peerless? 1216 01:02:07.423 --> 01:02:09.755 And one more thing. 1217 01:02:09.792 --> 01:02:13.455 Nigger, where the fuck did you get that accent? 1218 01:02:16.499 --> 01:02:20.333 Why do you always use that word "nigger" so much? 1219 01:02:20.369 --> 01:02:24.430 I say "nigger" a hundred times every morning. 1220 01:02:24.474 --> 01:02:26.840 Keeps my teeth white. 1221 01:02:26.876 --> 01:02:28.309 Come on, Junebug. 1222 01:02:28.344 --> 01:02:30.107 My father. 1223 01:02:30.146 --> 01:02:32.910 I'm not mad at him-- not at all. 1224 01:02:32.949 --> 01:02:35.509 Or the stock market crash-- Black Monday. 1225 01:02:35.551 --> 01:02:36.848 Junebug was the reason... 1226 01:02:36.886 --> 01:02:39.218 I had gotten into this business in the first place. 1227 01:02:39.255 --> 01:02:40.813 You hear white folks all the time-- 1228 01:02:40.857 --> 01:02:42.848 "lt was the darkest day of my life." 1229 01:02:42.892 --> 01:02:45.952 When they faint--"l blacked out. I don't remember anything." 1230 01:02:45.995 --> 01:02:48.259 And I thank him for that. 1231 01:02:48.297 --> 01:02:52.563 However, it did me no good seeing him in that state. 1232 01:02:52.602 --> 01:02:54.229 Father was a broken man. 1233 01:02:54.270 --> 01:02:55.567 ...broke or lose our money-- 1234 01:02:55.605 --> 01:02:57.368 "lt was the whitest day of my life." 1235 01:02:57.406 --> 01:03:00.000 He had been a strong man... 1236 01:03:00.042 --> 01:03:04.672 with conviction, integrity, principles... 1237 01:03:04.714 --> 01:03:07.114 and look where it had gotten him. 1238 01:03:07.150 --> 01:03:08.777 Even the cartoons are racist. 1239 01:03:08.818 --> 01:03:10.547 Have you noticed that? 1240 01:03:10.586 --> 01:03:12.747 Why do they treat us like that? 1241 01:03:12.789 --> 01:03:15.087 I had to ask myself-- 1242 01:03:15.124 --> 01:03:18.116 Did I want to end up where he was? 1243 01:03:18.161 --> 01:03:19.492 Laughing and grinning... 1244 01:03:19.529 --> 01:03:23.124 Hell, emphatically, no. 1245 01:03:23.166 --> 01:03:26.067 Broke and the happiest people on the planet. 1246 01:03:26.102 --> 01:03:29.731 That was the last time I ever saw Junebug. 1247 01:03:29.772 --> 01:03:30.966 A damn shame. 1248 01:03:31.007 --> 01:03:33.305 Remember, son... 1249 01:03:33.342 --> 01:03:35.936 always keep 'em laughing. 1250 01:03:35.978 --> 01:03:37.605 Keep 'em laughing. 1251 01:03:43.719 --> 01:03:46.313 Everybody say, "Ho!" 1252 01:03:46.355 --> 01:03:48.414 Say, "Ho, ho!" 1253 01:03:48.457 --> 01:03:50.015 Say, "Ho, ho, ho!" 1254 01:03:54.864 --> 01:03:56.923 We're going to do something a little different tonight. 1255 01:03:56.966 --> 01:03:58.194 Can you help a brother out? 1256 01:03:58.234 --> 01:04:00.327 Can you do this, folks? 1257 01:04:00.369 --> 01:04:02.701 We're going to start a chant, and I'll start it off. 1258 01:04:02.738 --> 01:04:06.731 The chant goes like this. "Let's go, niggers." 1259 01:04:22.225 --> 01:04:26.685 Let's welcome to the stage two real coons... 1260 01:04:26.729 --> 01:04:29.698 the Dusty Duo-- 1261 01:04:29.732 --> 01:04:30.960 Mantan... 1262 01:04:31.000 --> 01:04:33.332 and his sepia sidekick... 1263 01:04:33.369 --> 01:04:37.203 Sleep'n Eat! 1264 01:04:37.240 --> 01:04:39.037 Showtime. 1265 01:04:53.222 --> 01:04:54.655 -Go on now. -OK, come on. 1266 01:04:54.690 --> 01:04:57.420 -Slow down, boy. -He ain't here. 1267 01:04:57.460 --> 01:04:58.484 Come on. 1268 01:04:58.527 --> 01:05:00.927 We gonna get us some of these here chickies. 1269 01:05:03.032 --> 01:05:05.125 Oh, boy, I can taste me a wing now. 1270 01:05:08.738 --> 01:05:10.638 Look at that there. 1271 01:05:10.673 --> 01:05:14.575 Corn bread, biscuits, red beans, and rice. 1272 01:05:14.610 --> 01:05:17.044 -What you talking about, man? -My wish list. 1273 01:05:17.079 --> 01:05:20.446 Man, our massa's gonna wish our ass. 1274 01:05:20.483 --> 01:05:22.781 You know my lady Lucindy? 1275 01:05:22.818 --> 01:05:25.514 -You mean the one with the big-- -No, not her. 1276 01:05:25.554 --> 01:05:27.715 -The one with the little... -Oh, her. 1277 01:05:27.757 --> 01:05:30.885 Yes. You see, tomorrow's her birthday... 1278 01:05:30.927 --> 01:05:33.361 and I want to get her something really nice, like one of those-- 1279 01:05:33.396 --> 01:05:35.125 No. Don't get her one of those. 1280 01:05:35.164 --> 01:05:36.392 What you need to do is get her one of them-- 1281 01:05:36.432 --> 01:05:38.400 No. She hates them. 1282 01:05:38.434 --> 01:05:40.629 That's too bad. 1283 01:05:40.670 --> 01:05:42.331 Why don't you get her a dress? 1284 01:05:42.371 --> 01:05:46.501 You mean one of those sexy, slinky, foxy ones with the-- 1285 01:05:46.542 --> 01:05:48.271 They're too short. 1286 01:05:48.311 --> 01:05:50.074 And too tight. You need to get her one of them-- 1287 01:05:50.112 --> 01:05:51.704 Now, that's too big. 1288 01:05:51.747 --> 01:05:53.544 You know, the in-between kind-- 1289 01:05:53.582 --> 01:05:55.675 not too loose, not too tight. 1290 01:05:55.718 --> 01:05:57.618 That's perfect, there. 1291 01:05:57.653 --> 01:05:59.780 You know that dress is going to cost you around-- 1292 01:05:59.822 --> 01:06:02.154 That's too much money. I can't afford it. 1293 01:06:02.191 --> 01:06:03.954 I needs me a dress that's going to cost-- 1294 01:06:03.993 --> 01:06:06.655 Can't get it that cheap. 1295 01:06:06.696 --> 01:06:08.527 I'll get a less expensive dress. 1296 01:06:08.564 --> 01:06:10.361 Save some money, take her out to dinner. 1297 01:06:10.399 --> 01:06:12.094 Boy, you getting fancy now! 1298 01:06:13.836 --> 01:06:15.326 Why don't I come over, we get a double date? 1299 01:06:15.371 --> 01:06:17.669 No, man. I heard your lady is wild. 1300 01:06:17.707 --> 01:06:20.574 No. That was her second cousin, the one married to Lil' Bit. 1301 01:06:20.609 --> 01:06:24.101 Because you know on our first date... 1302 01:06:24.146 --> 01:06:25.545 she let me... 1303 01:06:25.581 --> 01:06:27.708 That bitch didn't. 1304 01:06:27.750 --> 01:06:29.445 Oh, yes, she did. 1305 01:06:29.485 --> 01:06:30.645 I heard differently. 1306 01:06:30.686 --> 01:06:32.916 I heard your monkey ass went up in there-- 1307 01:06:32.955 --> 01:06:35.287 No. Not that time. 1308 01:06:36.292 --> 01:06:37.623 What time you going to see her? 1309 01:06:37.660 --> 01:06:39.958 -Let's say around-- -That's too early. 1310 01:06:39.996 --> 01:06:42.362 -How's about-- -That's too late. 1311 01:06:43.366 --> 01:06:44.731 Why don't you pick us up around-- 1312 01:06:44.767 --> 01:06:46.735 Now, that's perfect. 1313 01:06:51.307 --> 01:06:53.002 See, that's why we get along. 1314 01:06:53.042 --> 01:06:55.306 Like sweet and peas. 1315 01:07:00.783 --> 01:07:03.843 Now, let's go get us some of them little chickies. 1316 01:07:03.886 --> 01:07:06.047 Hey, who goes in there? 1317 01:07:06.088 --> 01:07:08.556 Good God in the goose fat, we better hide. 1318 01:07:08.591 --> 01:07:10.218 Ooh, gosh. 1319 01:07:10.259 --> 01:07:14.525 It's that mean, evil overseer Master Charlie. 1320 01:07:14.563 --> 01:07:15.757 I say! 1321 01:07:15.798 --> 01:07:18.028 I say, who goes in there? 1322 01:07:18.067 --> 01:07:20.592 Ain't nobody in here except us chickens! 1323 01:07:28.210 --> 01:07:29.973 Let's go now! 1324 01:07:30.012 --> 01:07:31.673 Let's go now! 1325 01:07:34.283 --> 01:07:35.580 Hey, you! 1326 01:07:35.618 --> 01:07:37.711 Come back here right now! 1327 01:07:37.753 --> 01:07:42.087 Well, maybe it is...amusing. 1328 01:07:42.124 --> 01:07:44.490 It was the day of reckoning. 1329 01:07:44.527 --> 01:07:48.759 After a massive advertising and publicity campaign... 1330 01:07:48.798 --> 01:07:52.529 the public would finally get a chance to view "Mantan." 1331 01:07:52.568 --> 01:07:57.767 I was feeling a little like Dr. Frankenstein. 1332 01:07:57.807 --> 01:08:00.571 What would their reaction be? 1333 01:08:00.609 --> 01:08:02.236 I hadn't the foggiest. 1334 01:08:03.312 --> 01:08:04.904 It's getting ready to come on. 1335 01:08:04.947 --> 01:08:07.040 I wish I was in the land of cotton 1336 01:08:07.083 --> 01:08:08.948 Old times there are not forgotten 1337 01:08:08.984 --> 01:08:11.009 Look away, look away 1338 01:08:11.053 --> 01:08:13.078 Look away, Dixieland 1339 01:08:13.122 --> 01:08:15.056 In Dixieland, where I was born 1340 01:08:15.091 --> 01:08:17.116 Early on one frosty morning 1341 01:08:17.159 --> 01:08:19.354 Look away, look away 1342 01:08:19.395 --> 01:08:22.193 Why they got to make my nose so big? 1343 01:08:22.231 --> 01:08:24.165 What's up with my lips? 1344 01:08:24.200 --> 01:08:27.636 No. This wasn't supposed to be like this. 1345 01:08:27.670 --> 01:08:30.230 Where do you guys work, in the lobby of the damn place? 1346 01:08:30.272 --> 01:08:33.571 Man, listen, I don't know what to tell you. 1347 01:08:33.609 --> 01:08:35.236 You have every right to be upset. 1348 01:08:35.277 --> 01:08:39.646 But first, a word from our proud sponsors. 1349 01:08:39.682 --> 01:08:41.411 Da Bomb, baby, Bomb, baby 1350 01:08:41.450 --> 01:08:43.111 It makes you get your freak on 1351 01:08:43.152 --> 01:08:45.086 Da Bomb, baby, Bomb, baby 1352 01:08:45.121 --> 01:08:46.986 It makes you get your freak on 1353 01:08:47.022 --> 01:08:48.250 Da Bomb, yo. 1354 01:08:48.290 --> 01:08:52.727 125% pure pleasure malt liquor. 1355 01:08:52.761 --> 01:08:54.661 It's Da Bomb, baby. 1356 01:08:54.697 --> 01:08:56.164 It's Da Bomb, dawg. 1357 01:08:56.198 --> 01:08:57.756 Da Bomb, baby, Bomb, baby 1358 01:08:57.800 --> 01:08:59.893 It makes you get your freak on 1359 01:08:59.935 --> 01:09:02.233 Chemical testing has found... 1360 01:09:02.271 --> 01:09:06.207 that Viagra doesn't work on black johnsons. 1361 01:09:06.242 --> 01:09:12.943 That's why our scientist has developed Da Bomb for you. 1362 01:09:12.982 --> 01:09:14.779 It makes you feel like a man, yo... 1363 01:09:14.817 --> 01:09:17.479 and it makes them bitches feel like natural women. 1364 01:09:17.520 --> 01:09:19.317 I mean hos. 1365 01:09:19.355 --> 01:09:21.152 It makes my nature rise. 1366 01:09:21.190 --> 01:09:22.851 I want to get funked up. 1367 01:09:33.202 --> 01:09:37.696 Da Bomb makes me want to get my freak on. 1368 01:09:37.740 --> 01:09:39.469 Da Bomb, baby, Bomb, baby 1369 01:09:39.508 --> 01:09:42.033 Da Bomb, baby, Bomb, baby. 1370 01:09:42.077 --> 01:09:45.604 It makes you get your swerve on. 1371 01:09:45.648 --> 01:09:47.548 Hillnigger 1372 01:09:47.583 --> 01:09:49.551 Timmi, Timmi, Timmi, Timmi 1373 01:09:49.585 --> 01:09:51.553 Hillnigger 1374 01:09:51.587 --> 01:09:53.612 Timmi, Timmi, Timmi, Timmi 1375 01:09:53.656 --> 01:09:55.351 Hillnigger 1376 01:09:55.391 --> 01:09:57.450 Timmi, Timmi, Timmi, Timmi 1377 01:09:57.493 --> 01:09:59.324 Hillnigger 1378 01:09:59.361 --> 01:10:00.885 Timmi, Timmi, Timmi, Timmi 1379 01:10:00.930 --> 01:10:02.363 Yo. 1380 01:10:02.398 --> 01:10:04.161 My name be Timmi Hillnigger. 1381 01:10:04.200 --> 01:10:06.828 I was born and raised up in Strong lsland... 1382 01:10:06.869 --> 01:10:09.360 so you know I know all about my peeps... 1383 01:10:09.405 --> 01:10:10.872 my niggas in the gheetto. 1384 01:10:10.906 --> 01:10:13.170 I design and own Timmi Hillnigger... 1385 01:10:13.209 --> 01:10:16.076 125% authentic gheetto activewear. 1386 01:10:16.111 --> 01:10:18.170 Hillnigger keeps it real. 1387 01:10:18.214 --> 01:10:20.045 Timmi's gots all the latest gear. 1388 01:10:20.082 --> 01:10:22.448 If you want to keep it really real... 1389 01:10:22.484 --> 01:10:23.849 never get out of the gheetto... 1390 01:10:23.886 --> 01:10:25.717 stay broke, and continue to add... 1391 01:10:25.754 --> 01:10:28.188 to my multibillion dollar corporation... 1392 01:10:28.224 --> 01:10:29.851 keep buying all my gear-- 1393 01:10:29.892 --> 01:10:31.359 the Timmi Hillnigger collection. 1394 01:10:31.393 --> 01:10:33.987 We keep it so real, we give you the bullet holes. 1395 01:10:34.029 --> 01:10:38.022 Go, Timmi, go, Timmi! 1396 01:10:38.067 --> 01:10:40.900 All my niggas wear Timmi Hillnigger... 1397 01:10:40.936 --> 01:10:43.700 or they don't wear a damn thing at all! 1398 01:10:43.739 --> 01:10:47.038 It's ghetto fabulous! 1399 01:10:47.076 --> 01:10:50.011 I was sunk, dead. 1400 01:10:50.045 --> 01:10:52.240 My goose was cooked. 1401 01:10:52.281 --> 01:10:56.012 The cat was in the bag, and the bag was in the river. 1402 01:10:56.051 --> 01:10:57.416 I like this. 1403 01:10:57.453 --> 01:10:59.318 You guys have both seen the overnight ratings. 1404 01:10:59.355 --> 01:11:00.515 They're through the roof. 1405 01:11:00.556 --> 01:11:02.353 Mazel tov. But in this business... 1406 01:11:02.391 --> 01:11:04.916 we have to be one, two, three steps ahead. 1407 01:11:04.960 --> 01:11:06.621 That's why I brought in Myrna Goldfarb. 1408 01:11:06.662 --> 01:11:09.028 She's the best media consultant in the biz. 1409 01:11:09.064 --> 01:11:10.292 She's going to help us out. 1410 01:11:10.332 --> 01:11:13.495 First, I would like to say I love your show. 1411 01:11:13.535 --> 01:11:15.366 It's very courageous. 1412 01:11:15.404 --> 01:11:18.601 My parents marched in Selma, Alabama with Dr. King. 1413 01:11:18.641 --> 01:11:20.905 -Why are you here? -Good question. 1414 01:11:20.943 --> 01:11:23.377 Straight to the point. I like your style. 1415 01:11:23.412 --> 01:11:26.404 Because of the content of the show... 1416 01:11:26.448 --> 01:11:28.746 we're going to expect some very spirited reactions. 1417 01:11:28.784 --> 01:11:31.412 Myrna's here to plan our strategy, just in case. 1418 01:11:31.453 --> 01:11:33.819 Right. The best defense is offense. 1419 01:11:33.856 --> 01:11:35.619 Really? I thought it was the other way around. 1420 01:11:35.658 --> 01:11:38.593 Exactly. I think we're on the same page. 1421 01:11:38.627 --> 01:11:42.358 I've mapped out strategies to help bolster our position. 1422 01:11:42.398 --> 01:11:45.231 -Which is? -Lighten up, man, right? 1423 01:11:45.267 --> 01:11:47.497 This is about fun, right? 1424 01:11:47.536 --> 01:11:49.128 Nice, wholesome fun. 1425 01:11:49.171 --> 01:11:50.763 Myrna, break it down for them. 1426 01:11:50.806 --> 01:11:54.503 The Mantan Manifesto. Catchy, ain't it? 1427 01:11:54.543 --> 01:11:57.671 So is syphilis. 1428 01:11:57.713 --> 01:11:59.180 Number one-- 1429 01:11:59.214 --> 01:12:01.114 we gainfully employ African-Americans... 1430 01:12:01.150 --> 01:12:03.516 in front of and behind the camera. 1431 01:12:03.552 --> 01:12:05.986 You got to cover yourselves, people--very important. 1432 01:12:06.021 --> 01:12:10.458 I need a black grip, a black gaffer, a black P.A. 1433 01:12:11.159 --> 01:12:12.285 Have them there. 1434 01:12:12.327 --> 01:12:15.819 Number two-- Let the audience decide. 1435 01:12:15.864 --> 01:12:18.424 Three--who put these critics in charge anyway, right? 1436 01:12:18.467 --> 01:12:21.561 These so-called cultural police. 1437 01:12:21.603 --> 01:12:24.265 Four-- Who determines what is black? 1438 01:12:24.306 --> 01:12:25.500 What is black? 1439 01:12:25.540 --> 01:12:29.772 Sleep'n Eat and Mantan are lazy and unemployed... 1440 01:12:29.811 --> 01:12:31.711 but we are certainly not saying anything... 1441 01:12:31.747 --> 01:12:34.375 about the entire African-American community. 1442 01:12:34.416 --> 01:12:35.940 They're slackers. 1443 01:12:35.984 --> 01:12:37.975 I took a couple of years after graduate school... 1444 01:12:38.020 --> 01:12:40.079 and walked around the European countryside. 1445 01:12:40.122 --> 01:12:41.646 It's not the biggest deal in the world. 1446 01:12:41.690 --> 01:12:45.217 Five--Mantan is a satire. 1447 01:12:45.260 --> 01:12:48.787 Six--lf they can't take a joke, you know what? "F" 'em. 1448 01:12:48.830 --> 01:12:50.161 Yeah. "F" 'em. 1449 01:12:50.198 --> 01:12:52.291 I think that if we stick to this kind of strategy... 1450 01:12:52.334 --> 01:12:54.302 it's clean sailing from here. 1451 01:12:54.336 --> 01:12:57.772 No disrespect, but this is some bullshit. 1452 01:12:57.806 --> 01:12:59.330 Well, I've done my research. 1453 01:12:59.374 --> 01:13:02.605 These are Negroes we are talking about... 1454 01:13:02.644 --> 01:13:04.874 not some lab mice in a cage. 1455 01:13:04.913 --> 01:13:07.814 We are not one monolithic group of people. 1456 01:13:07.849 --> 01:13:13.151 We do not all think, look, and act alike, Ms. Goldfarb. 1457 01:13:13.188 --> 01:13:14.655 Mr. Delacroix, let me assure you-- 1458 01:13:14.689 --> 01:13:17.658 I got my Ph.D. in African- American studies from Yale. 1459 01:13:17.692 --> 01:13:20.058 So you fucked a Negro in college. 1460 01:13:20.095 --> 01:13:24.498 Excuse me. Let's keep this above the belt. 1461 01:13:24.533 --> 01:13:27.525 Show a little respect for this woman. 1462 01:13:27.569 --> 01:13:31.096 Yes. Continue, O Great Niggerologist. 1463 01:13:31.139 --> 01:13:33.573 -Enlighten us. -I'm sorry, Myrna. 1464 01:13:33.608 --> 01:13:34.973 The biggest thing in public relations... 1465 01:13:35.010 --> 01:13:37.205 is, of course, to always smile. 1466 01:13:37.245 --> 01:13:38.735 Show dem pearly whites. 1467 01:13:38.780 --> 01:13:41.544 Wear Kente cloth. 1468 01:13:41.583 --> 01:13:45.542 Invoke the spirit of Dr. Martin Luther King. 1469 01:13:45.587 --> 01:13:49.182 Use the word "community" often when talking about "Mantan." 1470 01:13:49.224 --> 01:13:52.523 And, finally, our biggest asset is you, Pierre Delacroix. 1471 01:13:52.561 --> 01:13:55.758 -Me? -Yes, you. 1472 01:13:55.797 --> 01:13:56.923 How? 1473 01:13:56.965 --> 01:14:00.958 This show was created and conceived by you, right? 1474 01:14:01.002 --> 01:14:04.130 A nonthreatening African-American male. 1475 01:14:04.172 --> 01:14:07.300 So the show can't be racist because you're black. 1476 01:14:07.342 --> 01:14:09.037 That's where you're wrong. 1477 01:14:09.077 --> 01:14:12.877 He's not black. No, see, he's a Negro. 1478 01:14:14.349 --> 01:14:16.408 You have your small victory. 1479 01:14:16.451 --> 01:14:18.214 Pierre, yassa man! 1480 01:14:18.253 --> 01:14:19.777 A small victory, is it? 1481 01:14:19.821 --> 01:14:22.289 -Right on, man. -Great show. 1482 01:14:22.324 --> 01:14:24.724 That's small when you've been used to losing. 1483 01:14:24.759 --> 01:14:29.628 Hey, Delacroix. Funny show, man. 1484 01:14:29.664 --> 01:14:31.427 And what is this? 1485 01:14:31.466 --> 01:14:33.058 It's a gift. 1486 01:14:33.101 --> 01:14:35.569 For what, pray tell? 1487 01:14:35.604 --> 01:14:40.200 Despite how I may feel about the show personally... 1488 01:14:40.242 --> 01:14:43.575 you did come up with something, let's say, unique. 1489 01:14:43.612 --> 01:14:45.944 Unique? 1490 01:14:45.981 --> 01:14:47.915 Why don't you open it? 1491 01:14:53.288 --> 01:14:55.552 Watch this. 1492 01:15:03.532 --> 01:15:05.932 And what do we call this thing? 1493 01:15:05.967 --> 01:15:08.800 It is called a "Jolly Nigger Bank." 1494 01:15:08.837 --> 01:15:10.099 Ain't that something? 1495 01:15:10.138 --> 01:15:12.106 And it's not a repro. 1496 01:15:12.140 --> 01:15:14.734 It's circa turn of the century. 1497 01:15:14.776 --> 01:15:16.641 Thank you, I guess. 1498 01:15:16.678 --> 01:15:18.509 I thought it was appropriate. 1499 01:15:18.547 --> 01:15:20.014 And is that good or bad? 1500 01:15:20.048 --> 01:15:21.982 Well, got a brand-new successful show... 1501 01:15:22.017 --> 01:15:23.951 so you'll be going to the bank. 1502 01:15:23.985 --> 01:15:27.443 Plus, I love these black collectibles. 1503 01:15:27.489 --> 01:15:28.683 Really? How so? 1504 01:15:28.723 --> 01:15:31.283 It reminds me of a time in our history... 1505 01:15:31.326 --> 01:15:38.027 in this country when we were considered inferior... 1506 01:15:38.066 --> 01:15:41.001 subhuman, and we should never forget. 1507 01:15:41.036 --> 01:15:43.698 Why don't you try, Pierre? 1508 01:15:43.738 --> 01:15:46.434 Why don't I give it a whirl? 1509 01:15:50.212 --> 01:15:51.941 It's something, ain't it? 1510 01:15:51.980 --> 01:15:54.540 It's something, all right. 1511 01:15:59.888 --> 01:16:02.379 When American people want something... 1512 01:16:02.424 --> 01:16:05.393 they want it now and want it big. 1513 01:16:05.427 --> 01:16:08.919 They wanted the hula hoop and their yo-yos. 1514 01:16:08.964 --> 01:16:12.923 Who could ever forget those lovable Pet Rocks... 1515 01:16:12.968 --> 01:16:15.459 Beanie Babies, Pokemon? 1516 01:16:15.503 --> 01:16:18.233 Now the latest, hottest, newest sensation... 1517 01:16:18.273 --> 01:16:21.265 across the nation was Blackface! 1518 01:16:21.309 --> 01:16:23.334 Trick or treat! 1519 01:16:23.378 --> 01:16:24.902 Blackface! 1520 01:16:24.946 --> 01:16:27.642 Trick or treat! 1521 01:16:27.682 --> 01:16:30.082 Welcome back to "lmhotep Gary Byrd's GBE"... 1522 01:16:30.118 --> 01:16:33.519 from 1 190 Talk Radio, WLlB in New York City. 1523 01:16:33.555 --> 01:16:36.285 Our special guest today is Pierre Delacroix. 1524 01:16:36.324 --> 01:16:40.920 He is the creator of the highly controversial TV show "Mantan." 1525 01:16:40.962 --> 01:16:42.623 Pierre, we welcome you to the "Experience." 1526 01:16:42.664 --> 01:16:45.098 It's good to experience the "Experience," Gary. 1527 01:16:45.133 --> 01:16:48.728 Your show has created a strong impression in the community. 1528 01:16:48.770 --> 01:16:54.174 You have been called a traitor, an Uncle Tom, a sell-out. 1529 01:16:54.209 --> 01:16:57.303 Even been called the Clarence Thomas of television. 1530 01:16:57.345 --> 01:16:58.505 It's nice to be hyphenated. 1531 01:16:58.546 --> 01:17:01.709 Why does your show cause such an emotional reaction? 1532 01:17:01.750 --> 01:17:04.014 Well, I think it's race. 1533 01:17:04.052 --> 01:17:07.988 Race has always been a very sensitive issue in this country. 1534 01:17:08.023 --> 01:17:12.460 I have no problem with people disagreeing with my show. 1535 01:17:12.494 --> 01:17:13.620 That's fine. 1536 01:17:13.662 --> 01:17:18.361 But when they trample my inherent right... 1537 01:17:18.400 --> 01:17:21.392 as an artist, I catch afire. 1538 01:17:21.436 --> 01:17:25.805 Why is every hit Negro show criticized? 1539 01:17:25.840 --> 01:17:29.332 Like crabs in a barrel, they pull each other down. 1540 01:17:29.377 --> 01:17:34.178 No one, in any way, shape, or form, should be censored. 1541 01:17:34.215 --> 01:17:36.046 Do you believe that that's true... 1542 01:17:36.084 --> 01:17:39.053 regardless of whether the material is racist... 1543 01:17:39.087 --> 01:17:41.555 or sexist, or even homophobic? 1544 01:17:41.589 --> 01:17:43.250 I say yes. 1545 01:17:43.291 --> 01:17:45.589 Because who is to judge? 1546 01:17:45.627 --> 01:17:49.996 Who is to stand and say this is right or this is not? 1547 01:17:50.031 --> 01:17:52.522 I mean, I'm not Mayor Guiliani. 1548 01:17:52.567 --> 01:17:56.162 I cannot look at that painting and say that is sacrilegious. 1549 01:17:56.204 --> 01:17:59.662 It's art, and that is what it should be called. 1550 01:17:59.708 --> 01:18:01.005 So is "Mantan." 1551 01:18:01.042 --> 01:18:03.033 There are many people who at this point... 1552 01:18:03.078 --> 01:18:05.876 are sick and tired of the TV industry. 1553 01:18:05.914 --> 01:18:07.381 And there are many in the community... 1554 01:18:07.415 --> 01:18:10.816 who say what they're doing has got to stop now. 1555 01:18:10.852 --> 01:18:12.319 What do you say about the fact... 1556 01:18:12.354 --> 01:18:13.685 that the line has to be drawn here? 1557 01:18:13.722 --> 01:18:14.950 Those people need to wake up. 1558 01:18:14.989 --> 01:18:16.456 Wake up to what? 1559 01:18:16.491 --> 01:18:19.324 Slavery has been over 400 years ago! 1560 01:18:19.361 --> 01:18:21.693 We need to stop thinking that way. 1561 01:18:21.730 --> 01:18:24.790 Stop crying over, "the white man this or that." 1562 01:18:24.833 --> 01:18:26.698 This is the new millennium... 1563 01:18:26.735 --> 01:18:29.169 and we must join it. 1564 01:18:29.204 --> 01:18:31.832 Slavery did not end 400 years ago. 1565 01:18:31.873 --> 01:18:34.842 Slavery ended in 1865. Do the math. 1566 01:18:34.876 --> 01:18:36.434 Your great-grandmother... 1567 01:18:36.478 --> 01:18:39.538 who raised your mother's mother, was a slave... 1568 01:18:39.581 --> 01:18:41.674 and here you are, in this studio... 1569 01:18:41.716 --> 01:18:43.684 trying to excuse our own holocaust? 1570 01:18:43.718 --> 01:18:45.845 You're talking numbers, Gary. 1571 01:18:45.887 --> 01:18:49.288 200 years, 300 years, it doesn't matter. 1572 01:18:49.324 --> 01:18:52.657 What matters, Gary, is slave mentality... 1573 01:18:52.694 --> 01:18:54.685 and that is what must be broken. 1574 01:18:54.729 --> 01:18:57.664 I had an aunt. We called her "Sister." 1575 01:18:57.699 --> 01:19:00.167 Aunt Sister went to her grave... 1576 01:19:00.201 --> 01:19:04.331 believing that man had not walked on the moon. 1577 01:19:04.372 --> 01:19:06.636 I would argue with this dear old woman. 1578 01:19:06.674 --> 01:19:08.665 I'd say, "It's on television..." 1579 01:19:08.710 --> 01:19:13.204 and she'd say, "l don't care what's on that idiot box. 1580 01:19:13.248 --> 01:19:15.182 "No man is on the moon." 1581 01:19:15.216 --> 01:19:19.448 Gary, there are millions of Negroes in this country... 1582 01:19:19.487 --> 01:19:22.081 with that same mentality. 1583 01:19:22.123 --> 01:19:27.186 They think like my Aunt Sister, and they must change. 1584 01:19:27.228 --> 01:19:29.059 We must adapt to the times. 1585 01:19:29.097 --> 01:19:31.258 Otherwise, we will be left behind. 1586 01:19:31.299 --> 01:19:33.426 No more mess, CNS! 1587 01:19:33.468 --> 01:19:35.527 Ban "Mantan"! 1588 01:19:40.074 --> 01:19:42.474 We've come to put you on notice! 1589 01:19:42.510 --> 01:19:45.377 There will be no desecrating of our people! 1590 01:19:45.413 --> 01:19:48.041 There will be none of this in the new century! 1591 01:19:48.082 --> 01:19:50.812 We will not allow no minstrel shows... 1592 01:19:50.852 --> 01:19:52.513 in the 21st century! 1593 01:19:52.554 --> 01:19:54.249 We're gonna close you down! 1594 01:19:54.289 --> 01:19:56.883 We're gonna close down the advertising! 1595 01:19:56.925 --> 01:19:59.894 You wouldn't drop the bomb on your children! 1596 01:19:59.928 --> 01:20:01.395 That's right, Rev! 1597 01:20:01.429 --> 01:20:02.691 Look at how they disgrace us! 1598 01:20:02.730 --> 01:20:04.220 This is what we're protesting! 1599 01:20:04.265 --> 01:20:05.994 Painted face! A disgrace to the race! 1600 01:20:06.034 --> 01:20:08.525 Painted face, disgrace to the race! 1601 01:20:21.616 --> 01:20:23.584 Yo, man, why is the Reverend Al Sharpton... 1602 01:20:23.618 --> 01:20:25.347 and Johnnie Cochran down there? 1603 01:20:25.386 --> 01:20:26.853 Opportunists. 1604 01:20:26.888 --> 01:20:29.652 They love to see themselves on television. 1605 01:20:29.691 --> 01:20:32.023 You sound like the media. 1606 01:20:32.060 --> 01:20:33.527 This is nothing. 1607 01:20:33.561 --> 01:20:37.088 Tomorrow it'll all be over. 1608 01:20:37.131 --> 01:20:39.497 Besides, as Mr. Dunwitty says... 1609 01:20:39.534 --> 01:20:42.560 there's no such thing as bad publicity. 1610 01:20:44.272 --> 01:20:48.072 Here. That's for you. 1611 01:20:48.109 --> 01:20:51.442 It's a token of appreciation for all your hard work. 1612 01:20:51.479 --> 01:20:54.277 All right. Good-lookin', man. 1613 01:21:04.292 --> 01:21:07.261 Those are the last pair of tap shoes... 1614 01:21:07.295 --> 01:21:10.389 worn by Mr. Bill "Bojangles" Robinson. 1615 01:21:10.431 --> 01:21:11.591 Word? 1616 01:21:11.633 --> 01:21:14.727 He died with those on his feet. 1617 01:21:14.769 --> 01:21:15.963 Buggin'. 1618 01:21:16.004 --> 01:21:18.268 No joke. I'm serious. 1619 01:21:18.306 --> 01:21:20.570 I hope I don't go out like that. 1620 01:21:30.051 --> 01:21:32.076 It's a nice sound. 1621 01:21:32.120 --> 01:21:34.213 Wood on wood. 1622 01:21:37.058 --> 01:21:38.650 Here come Blak. 1623 01:21:38.693 --> 01:21:40.456 Whassup? 1624 01:21:40.495 --> 01:21:42.326 Those fuckin' Tom Sambos. 1625 01:21:42.363 --> 01:21:44.354 Handkerchief-head-wearing ass. 1626 01:21:44.399 --> 01:21:45.764 Dancin' monkey. 1627 01:21:45.800 --> 01:21:47.165 Benedict Arnold! 1628 01:21:47.201 --> 01:21:49.169 Those motherfuckers fuckin' it up... 1629 01:21:49.203 --> 01:21:51.569 for the whole fuckin'-- fuckin' everybody! 1630 01:21:51.606 --> 01:21:53.073 They gonna dis us... 1631 01:21:53.107 --> 01:21:55.507 and keep them two fuckin' smilin', happy... 1632 01:21:55.543 --> 01:21:58.011 Tom-laughing coon motherfuckers... 1633 01:21:58.046 --> 01:22:00.139 Mantan and goddamn Sleep'n Eat?! 1634 01:22:00.181 --> 01:22:01.239 You know what I'm sayin'? 1635 01:22:01.282 --> 01:22:04.046 They's foul, know what I mean? 1636 01:22:04.085 --> 01:22:05.518 -Know what I mean? -Know what I'm sayin'? 1637 01:22:10.825 --> 01:22:13.419 We know, man! 1638 01:22:13.461 --> 01:22:17.090 Brothers, sister... 1639 01:22:17.131 --> 01:22:19.065 Yo, we can't let this injustice go by. 1640 01:22:19.100 --> 01:22:20.260 Not this time, man. 1641 01:22:20.301 --> 01:22:22.098 Them two coons is ill, man. 1642 01:22:22.136 --> 01:22:24.070 Word up, man. What we do on this level... 1643 01:22:24.105 --> 01:22:26.539 this shit gotta be fuckin' big, y'all. 1644 01:22:26.574 --> 01:22:29.839 It's gotta be some global blowout shit. 1645 01:22:29.877 --> 01:22:34.541 This shit gotta have some symbolism to it! Sustenance. 1646 01:22:34.582 --> 01:22:39.576 This shit gotta be like fuckin' John Carlos and Tommie Smith... 1647 01:22:39.621 --> 01:22:41.748 at the '68 Olympics, you know what I'm saying? 1648 01:22:41.789 --> 01:22:44.155 Put the fists up! Some big shit! 1649 01:22:44.192 --> 01:22:45.819 This is nice. 1650 01:22:45.860 --> 01:22:47.327 This is real nice. 1651 01:22:47.362 --> 01:22:51.128 This must have cost you a pretty penny. 1652 01:22:51.165 --> 01:22:52.689 Me, I got it like that now. 1653 01:22:52.734 --> 01:22:54.668 Oh, you do. 1654 01:22:55.903 --> 01:22:58.064 I mean, a little somethin' somethin'. 1655 01:22:58.106 --> 01:23:00.040 A little somethin' somethin' is right. 1656 01:23:00.074 --> 01:23:01.871 I hope you saving a little somethin' somethin'. 1657 01:23:01.909 --> 01:23:03.843 I ain't tryin' to end up broke. 1658 01:23:03.878 --> 01:23:06.972 Well, that's good. 1659 01:23:07.015 --> 01:23:08.846 See you got your pictures up. 1660 01:23:10.084 --> 01:23:12.052 I was just reading the other day... 1661 01:23:12.086 --> 01:23:14.054 at the beginning of the 20th Century... 1662 01:23:14.088 --> 01:23:17.319 how African-Americans had to perform in blackface. 1663 01:23:17.358 --> 01:23:19.849 You know that entertainer Bert Williams? 1664 01:23:19.894 --> 01:23:22.488 He was brilliant. You know Bert? 1665 01:23:22.530 --> 01:23:25.988 Not really. Maybe before my time. 1666 01:23:26.034 --> 01:23:27.763 Do you read? 1667 01:23:27.802 --> 01:23:30.362 I mean, not really. Sort of hurts my head. 1668 01:23:30.405 --> 01:23:33.374 Hurts your head. You should start reading. 1669 01:23:33.408 --> 01:23:37.344 Maybe I should start doing a lot of things. 1670 01:23:37.378 --> 01:23:40.006 Well, as I was saying... 1671 01:23:40.048 --> 01:23:41.948 Bert Williams and the rest... 1672 01:23:41.983 --> 01:23:44.543 they had to blacken up 'cause they had no choice. 1673 01:23:44.585 --> 01:23:47.019 And of course, during that time... 1674 01:23:47.055 --> 01:23:49.580 we were considered 3/5 of a human being. 1675 01:23:49.624 --> 01:23:51.592 Did you know that was actually written... 1676 01:23:51.626 --> 01:23:53.423 in the Constitution of the United States? 1677 01:23:53.461 --> 01:23:56.953 Sloan, why you flippin' on me right now? 1678 01:23:56.998 --> 01:23:59.159 I mean, this whole blackface thing. 1679 01:23:59.200 --> 01:24:01.896 Don't try to front like you wasn't down. 1680 01:24:01.936 --> 01:24:04.404 It was all part of a deal, you know? 1681 01:24:04.439 --> 01:24:06.407 You was down from the get-go. 1682 01:24:06.441 --> 01:24:09.899 You're down with Dela, right? 1683 01:24:09.944 --> 01:24:12.310 Yes. I'm down with Dela. 1684 01:24:12.346 --> 01:24:14.974 I just thought you might be interested... 1685 01:24:15.016 --> 01:24:16.881 in the origins of blackface. 1686 01:24:16.918 --> 01:24:22.083 Look, my man Womack, myself... 1687 01:24:22.123 --> 01:24:24.557 we can definitely handle this business. 1688 01:24:24.592 --> 01:24:29.996 I mean, for sure, I know I can handle my business. 1689 01:24:34.635 --> 01:24:38.036 Well, OK. 1690 01:24:39.640 --> 01:24:42.609 I'm gonna check this view out 'cause it's real nice. 1691 01:24:42.643 --> 01:24:44.543 I'm diggin' this whole thing right here. 1692 01:24:44.579 --> 01:24:46.444 This is a nice vibe. 1693 01:24:46.481 --> 01:24:48.039 I'm liking this. 1694 01:25:20.948 --> 01:25:23.178 Sleep'n Eat. 1695 01:25:50.478 --> 01:25:52.207 I seen a lot of troubles lately. 1696 01:25:52.246 --> 01:25:54.612 Oh? Well, how be dat? 1697 01:25:54.649 --> 01:25:57.709 I don't know who I is. 1698 01:26:00.955 --> 01:26:04.083 Well, I'll be a Alabama porch monkey's uncle. 1699 01:26:06.427 --> 01:26:09.624 At least you know who you is. 1700 01:26:09.664 --> 01:26:12.462 Years ago, I married a widow who had a grown-up daughter. 1701 01:26:12.500 --> 01:26:15.469 My daddy visited us often, fell in love, and married her. 1702 01:26:15.503 --> 01:26:18.131 Thusly, he became my son-in-law... 1703 01:26:18.172 --> 01:26:19.969 and my step-daughter became my mother... 1704 01:26:20.007 --> 01:26:22.373 because she was my father's wife. 1705 01:26:22.410 --> 01:26:23.536 That's right. 1706 01:26:23.578 --> 01:26:27.105 After that, my father's wife gave birth to a son... 1707 01:26:27.148 --> 01:26:30.743 which became my brother and my grandchild. 1708 01:26:30.785 --> 01:26:32.446 Because he was the son of my daughter. 1709 01:26:32.486 --> 01:26:34.784 -What? You jivin'! -I ain't! 1710 01:26:34.822 --> 01:26:38.258 Now, accordingly, my wife was my grandmother... 1711 01:26:38.292 --> 01:26:40.920 because she was my mother's mother. 1712 01:26:40.962 --> 01:26:44.454 Mantan, I was my wife's husband and grandchild... 1713 01:26:44.498 --> 01:26:46.056 at one and the same time. 1714 01:26:46.100 --> 01:26:47.727 And lo and behold... 1715 01:26:47.768 --> 01:26:50.134 as the husband of a person's grandmother is a grandfather... 1716 01:26:50.171 --> 01:26:51.297 That's right. 1717 01:26:51.339 --> 01:26:53.534 I became my goddamn own grandfather! 1718 01:26:53.574 --> 01:26:56.907 Holy mackerel! 1719 01:26:56.944 --> 01:27:02.644 Sleep'n Eat, that sho is a whopper! 1720 01:27:02.683 --> 01:27:04.241 You said it, cousin. 1721 01:27:04.285 --> 01:27:07.550 Or is we? 1722 01:27:07.588 --> 01:27:10.182 Feets...do your stuff. 1723 01:27:43.224 --> 01:27:44.691 Watch out now! 1724 01:28:38.813 --> 01:28:40.781 You ain't never seen no niggers 1725 01:28:40.815 --> 01:28:42.407 Standin' here with a fiddle 1726 01:28:42.450 --> 01:28:43.644 You ain't never seen no niggers 1727 01:28:43.684 --> 01:28:46.084 A-standin' here playin' on no fiddle 1728 01:28:46.120 --> 01:28:47.712 You ain't seen no niggers like this 1729 01:28:47.755 --> 01:28:49.723 Standin' here playin' on a fiddle 1730 01:28:49.757 --> 01:28:51.588 You ain't seen no niggers like this 1731 01:28:51.625 --> 01:28:53.593 Gettin' down on the fiddle, watch this now 1732 01:28:53.627 --> 01:28:55.993 You couldn't hold out any longer, could you? 1733 01:29:00.935 --> 01:29:02.800 I ain't worried about money in the middle 1734 01:29:02.837 --> 01:29:04.600 'Cause I got my funky fiddle 1735 01:29:04.638 --> 01:29:06.196 I ain't worried about money in the middle 1736 01:29:06.240 --> 01:29:08.333 'Cause I got my funky fiddle, watch this now 1737 01:29:10.277 --> 01:29:11.869 What's so funny, man? 1738 01:29:11.912 --> 01:29:13.607 Fuckin' shit is funny to me. 1739 01:29:13.647 --> 01:29:15.012 You funny to me. 1740 01:29:19.553 --> 01:29:20.884 Watch him now. 1741 01:29:32.500 --> 01:29:33.865 No, man. 1742 01:29:36.737 --> 01:29:39.763 Fuck that, man. 1743 01:29:39.807 --> 01:29:41.638 I'm ready to merc somebody. 1744 01:29:41.675 --> 01:29:44.872 Pull some big fuckin' Clint Eastwood shit... 1745 01:29:44.912 --> 01:29:46.903 and blow that nigger's fuckin' cavities back. 1746 01:29:46.947 --> 01:29:49.177 That's what I say, right? Blow his cavities back. 1747 01:29:52.119 --> 01:29:54.314 To my astonishment... 1748 01:29:54.355 --> 01:29:57.324 not only did the people in television land love us... 1749 01:29:57.358 --> 01:29:59.383 but also the critics. 1750 01:29:59.427 --> 01:30:03.022 "Mantan" was being hailed as groundbreaking... 1751 01:30:03.064 --> 01:30:06.625 barrier-breaking, also earth-shaking. 1752 01:30:06.667 --> 01:30:09.761 I looked forward to my awards. 1753 01:30:09.804 --> 01:30:13.797 Just vindication for all my hard work... 1754 01:30:13.841 --> 01:30:17.208 all my talent that had previously been overlooked. 1755 01:30:17.244 --> 01:30:19.474 Pierre Delacroix for "Mantan"! 1756 01:30:28.289 --> 01:30:30.223 Mira, I love you! 1757 01:30:30.257 --> 01:30:31.724 You don't know this... 1758 01:30:31.759 --> 01:30:33.420 but we both took Mandarin together at Harvard. 1759 01:30:33.461 --> 01:30:35.929 You didn't notice me, I sat in the back of the class. 1760 01:30:35.963 --> 01:30:40.093 You are like the light reflected off an angel! 1761 01:30:40.134 --> 01:30:44.036 That routine would go over like gangbusters. 1762 01:30:44.071 --> 01:30:46.665 I would be a dancing fool. 1763 01:30:46.707 --> 01:30:49.198 Hollywood's new favorite Negro. 1764 01:30:49.243 --> 01:30:52.144 Move over, Danny, Morgan, Samuel L.! 1765 01:30:52.179 --> 01:30:54.943 Out of my way, Eddie and Wesley! 1766 01:30:54.982 --> 01:30:57.177 Make room for me, Will Smith! 1767 01:30:57.218 --> 01:30:59.914 Here comes Delacroix! 1768 01:30:59.954 --> 01:31:01.512 Show me the money! 1769 01:31:01.555 --> 01:31:04.490 ...Best New Situational Comedy is... 1770 01:31:04.525 --> 01:31:06.152 Pierre Delacroix... 1771 01:31:06.193 --> 01:31:09.788 for "Mantan: The New Millennium Minstrel Show." 1772 01:31:13.300 --> 01:31:16.599 I want to thank the Academy truly... 1773 01:31:16.637 --> 01:31:20.004 for this award. 1774 01:31:20.040 --> 01:31:22.941 Right now, words escape me. 1775 01:31:22.977 --> 01:31:25.172 Which is odd for a writer, of course. 1776 01:31:25.212 --> 01:31:29.342 Mr. Modine, would you please join me at the podium? 1777 01:31:29.383 --> 01:31:35.253 Now, I have never met this man in my life before. 1778 01:31:35.289 --> 01:31:37.280 I... 1779 01:31:37.324 --> 01:31:39.849 am his greatest fan. 1780 01:31:39.894 --> 01:31:41.452 I've seen all your work. 1781 01:31:41.495 --> 01:31:45.829 I've seen you in "Rumble Fish" and "Flamingo Kid"... 1782 01:31:45.866 --> 01:31:47.663 and "Something About Mary" and "Wild Things." 1783 01:31:47.701 --> 01:31:50.101 I've just watched that over and over-- 1784 01:31:50.137 --> 01:31:52.071 Matt Dillon? 1785 01:31:55.109 --> 01:31:57.077 I'm sure if you were in those movies... 1786 01:31:57.111 --> 01:31:58.635 you would have been just as brilliant... 1787 01:31:58.679 --> 01:32:01.409 so I want to thank you from the bowels of my heart... 1788 01:32:01.448 --> 01:32:03.678 and I want you to have this Emmy, please. 1789 01:32:03.717 --> 01:32:05.412 I do not deserve it. 1790 01:32:05.452 --> 01:32:07.010 I can't accept this, Pierre. 1791 01:32:07.054 --> 01:32:08.817 That's very generous of you and very kind. 1792 01:32:08.856 --> 01:32:10.847 Give it to the garbageman! 1793 01:32:10.891 --> 01:32:12.483 This is for "Mantan"-- 1794 01:32:12.526 --> 01:32:14.721 Give this man his Emmy! 1795 01:32:18.032 --> 01:32:23.368 If I did that, I'd be assured of work forever. 1796 01:32:23.404 --> 01:32:26.999 Delacroix... the grateful Negro. 1797 01:32:27.041 --> 01:32:30.238 All right, we're takin' it from the same spot. 1798 01:32:30.277 --> 01:32:31.904 Toehill, don't rush. 1799 01:32:31.946 --> 01:32:34.938 One, two, three, and... 1800 01:32:42.356 --> 01:32:43.584 Don't rush! 1801 01:32:49.263 --> 01:32:51.197 Come on, get down there! 1802 01:32:53.567 --> 01:32:55.797 Pivots toe. 1803 01:33:10.351 --> 01:33:13.013 Come on now, what was that? 1804 01:33:13.053 --> 01:33:14.987 Let me hear you, Lil'nigger Jim. 1805 01:33:19.960 --> 01:33:21.257 Let me hear you once again, man. 1806 01:33:23.163 --> 01:33:25.358 Wrong! How old are you, man? 1807 01:33:25.399 --> 01:33:27.731 -Ten. -You want to live to see eleven? 1808 01:33:27.768 --> 01:33:29.235 What's going on, man? 1809 01:33:29.270 --> 01:33:31.830 Y'all need a break or something? 1810 01:33:31.872 --> 01:33:33.499 Let's take a break. 1811 01:33:33.540 --> 01:33:35.269 Take a ten-minute break. 1812 01:33:35.309 --> 01:33:37.903 Take a break. Y'all take a break, man! 1813 01:33:37.945 --> 01:33:40.106 Yo, what's up, man? 1814 01:33:40.147 --> 01:33:42.115 I don't know, man. Sorry. 1815 01:33:42.149 --> 01:33:43.514 Surprised at you, man. 1816 01:33:52.059 --> 01:33:53.219 Whassup? 1817 01:33:53.260 --> 01:33:54.727 Whassup? 1818 01:33:54.762 --> 01:33:57.060 Since when do you start talking to people like that? 1819 01:33:57.097 --> 01:33:58.928 Tell me, when that start? 1820 01:33:58.966 --> 01:34:00.399 When you start that? 1821 01:34:00.434 --> 01:34:02.299 You see what they're doin' to my 'ography, man? 1822 01:34:02.336 --> 01:34:03.564 They're messin' it up, man. 1823 01:34:03.604 --> 01:34:05.572 Trippin', man. I'm not drinkin' the Kool-Aid. 1824 01:34:05.606 --> 01:34:07.631 You ain't drinkin'? What you mean? 1825 01:34:07.675 --> 01:34:10.405 Like Jim Jones. I'm not drinkin' the Kool-Aid. 1826 01:34:10.444 --> 01:34:12.469 What you talkin' about, man? 1827 01:34:12.513 --> 01:34:15.949 This pickaninny, watermelon bullshit! 1828 01:34:15.983 --> 01:34:19.111 I'm out! I'm raisin' up! The fuck outta here. 1829 01:34:19.153 --> 01:34:20.484 You out? 1830 01:34:20.521 --> 01:34:23.319 Know what, man? Good. Be out. 1831 01:34:23.357 --> 01:34:24.824 'Cause I got a broken back... 1832 01:34:24.858 --> 01:34:26.883 from carrying you around all these years anyway. 1833 01:34:26.927 --> 01:34:28.588 So that's what you been doing? 1834 01:34:30.698 --> 01:34:33.132 Stand up. Stand up, OK? 1835 01:34:33.167 --> 01:34:35.465 That what you been doing? 1836 01:34:35.502 --> 01:34:37.299 You been carrying me? 1837 01:34:37.338 --> 01:34:40.671 We were on the streets you weren't talking that shit. 1838 01:34:40.708 --> 01:34:42.801 When you was hungry... 1839 01:34:42.843 --> 01:34:45.710 you wasn't taking that shit, was you? 1840 01:34:45.746 --> 01:34:47.577 What you been doing push-ups now? 1841 01:34:47.614 --> 01:34:50.412 Know you coppin' a diesel now? 1842 01:34:50.451 --> 01:34:51.941 Don't sit down, Manny. 1843 01:34:54.655 --> 01:34:57.055 -I don't know-- -You gonna jump? 1844 01:34:57.091 --> 01:34:58.752 What's up? Do you remember me? 1845 01:34:58.792 --> 01:35:00.657 Do you remember me? 1846 01:35:00.694 --> 01:35:02.992 Do you? 1847 01:35:03.030 --> 01:35:04.827 You remember me? 1848 01:35:04.865 --> 01:35:07.925 That what I thought. 1849 01:35:07.968 --> 01:35:11.301 Just what I thought right there. 1850 01:35:11.338 --> 01:35:14.034 Go ahead, man. 1851 01:35:14.074 --> 01:35:16.201 Do what you want right now. 1852 01:35:16.243 --> 01:35:18.211 I'm handling mines, man. 1853 01:35:18.245 --> 01:35:19.803 Got a roof over my head. 1854 01:35:19.847 --> 01:35:22.372 Fuckin' with you, we'd still be on the street. 1855 01:35:22.416 --> 01:35:23.713 You calling me a cling-on? 1856 01:35:23.751 --> 01:35:26.413 You been draggin' me? I been dead weight to you? 1857 01:35:26.453 --> 01:35:27.579 Is that what I been? 1858 01:35:27.621 --> 01:35:30.112 New millennium, huh? 1859 01:35:30.157 --> 01:35:33.058 It's the same bullshit! 1860 01:35:33.093 --> 01:35:34.958 Just done over. 1861 01:35:34.995 --> 01:35:36.257 Same bullshit. 1862 01:35:42.736 --> 01:35:44.897 Yassa, l... 1863 01:35:44.938 --> 01:35:47.873 What you want me to do, massa? 1864 01:35:47.908 --> 01:35:50.206 Anything for you, sir. 1865 01:35:50.244 --> 01:35:52.678 I sang for you. 1866 01:35:52.713 --> 01:35:56.740 I tap-dance for you, massa. 1867 01:35:57.818 --> 01:36:00.810 I coon for you. 1868 01:36:00.854 --> 01:36:04.881 Anything just to make you laugh, massa. 1869 01:36:05.993 --> 01:36:07.392 Yassa. 1870 01:36:25.913 --> 01:36:27.847 You should call him. 1871 01:36:27.881 --> 01:36:30.850 I'm not really thinking about Womack right now... 1872 01:36:30.884 --> 01:36:32.249 you know what I mean? 1873 01:36:32.286 --> 01:36:33.719 What am I callin' him for? 1874 01:36:33.754 --> 01:36:35.813 He left. He should be callin' me. 1875 01:36:35.856 --> 01:36:37.585 You gotta be the bigger person. 1876 01:36:37.624 --> 01:36:41.458 Don't take it on the ego thing, 'cause it's not about that. 1877 01:36:41.495 --> 01:36:43.190 He comes in... 1878 01:36:43.230 --> 01:36:46.688 All right, it may have been a bad time or whatever... 1879 01:36:46.733 --> 01:36:49.201 but he came at me, like... 1880 01:36:49.236 --> 01:36:52.205 Iike he was my boss or somethin' like... 1881 01:36:52.239 --> 01:36:54.264 "What am I doing talkin' to the kids like that?" 1882 01:36:54.308 --> 01:36:57.744 Talkin' like that 'cause they not gettin' the 'ography. 1883 01:36:57.778 --> 01:37:00.804 He just gotta go into some... 1884 01:37:00.848 --> 01:37:03.214 "Do you remember" daze... 1885 01:37:03.250 --> 01:37:07.812 jumpin' at me like he gonna knock my head off... 1886 01:37:07.855 --> 01:37:10.153 beat me up in the studio. 1887 01:37:10.190 --> 01:37:11.657 I'm just like... 1888 01:37:11.692 --> 01:37:13.592 "No, I'm not feelin' you right now, Womack. 1889 01:37:13.627 --> 01:37:15.026 "Straight up." 1890 01:37:15.062 --> 01:37:16.859 You want me to call him? 1891 01:37:16.897 --> 01:37:19.627 I'm not callin' no Womack. 1892 01:37:19.666 --> 01:37:21.065 Man, he calls me. 1893 01:37:21.335 --> 01:37:25.169 So how long have you and Hambone been hanging out? 1894 01:37:25.205 --> 01:37:27.173 We're friends. 1895 01:37:27.207 --> 01:37:30.074 Really? That's not what your brother seems to think. 1896 01:37:30.110 --> 01:37:32.078 He's playing that big brother role... 1897 01:37:32.112 --> 01:37:33.306 so whatever. 1898 01:37:33.347 --> 01:37:36.942 So, are you getting "jiggy" with him? 1899 01:37:36.984 --> 01:37:40.943 Pierre, I don't really think that's any of your business. 1900 01:37:40.988 --> 01:37:43.821 So why am I here? 1901 01:37:43.857 --> 01:37:46.724 Well, Mr. Dunwitty and l... 1902 01:37:46.760 --> 01:37:49.524 feel that you're getting too close to him... 1903 01:37:49.563 --> 01:37:52.498 and that his mind is being messed up. 1904 01:37:52.533 --> 01:37:58.563 He's unfocused. I demand you stop seeing him. 1905 01:37:58.605 --> 01:38:00.402 Work-related or otherwise? 1906 01:38:00.440 --> 01:38:03.238 Otherwise, and I trust you know the difference. 1907 01:38:03.277 --> 01:38:07.373 If he asks me something, I can't lie to him. 1908 01:38:07.414 --> 01:38:08.574 I have to tell him the truth. 1909 01:38:08.615 --> 01:38:11.709 Do you have to be so damn forthright? 1910 01:38:11.752 --> 01:38:13.549 You should try it sometime. 1911 01:38:13.587 --> 01:38:15.452 When are you gonna come into the light? 1912 01:38:15.489 --> 01:38:17.218 -The light? -The light! 1913 01:38:17.257 --> 01:38:21.489 Don't you give me none of this mumbo-jumbo bullshit... 1914 01:38:21.528 --> 01:38:24.895 because your hands are just as bloody as mine. 1915 01:38:24.932 --> 01:38:28.060 I know where I made my big mistake. 1916 01:38:28.101 --> 01:38:31.070 I should have never gotten romantically involved... 1917 01:38:31.104 --> 01:38:34.369 with the help. 1918 01:38:35.642 --> 01:38:37.337 What did you just say? 1919 01:38:38.946 --> 01:38:42.882 Nigger, did you just call me your help? 1920 01:38:44.651 --> 01:38:46.983 Is that what you think of me? 1921 01:38:47.020 --> 01:38:49.716 Let me tell you a thing or two about help... 1922 01:38:49.756 --> 01:38:52.884 Peerless Dothan... 1923 01:38:52.926 --> 01:38:57.920 if you weren't so busy fucking Maryann, Sue, and Beth... 1924 01:38:57.965 --> 01:39:00.991 maybe you would have a little more stroke in your back. 1925 01:39:01.034 --> 01:39:03.195 Now help that shit out. 1926 01:39:03.236 --> 01:39:04.863 Get out. 1927 01:39:04.905 --> 01:39:08.534 Get the fuck out! 1928 01:39:13.480 --> 01:39:16.210 You know what? 1929 01:39:16.249 --> 01:39:19.707 You are fucked up. 1930 01:39:21.755 --> 01:39:23.689 Look at that shit. 1931 01:39:23.724 --> 01:39:26.192 That could help your sorry ass one day. 1932 01:39:29.129 --> 01:39:32.360 I trust you can help yourself out. 1933 01:39:34.935 --> 01:39:36.903 What you did was dead wrong. 1934 01:39:36.937 --> 01:39:39.201 Wrong. Capital "W" wrong. 1935 01:39:39.239 --> 01:39:41.503 Buddy boy, in this business... 1936 01:39:41.541 --> 01:39:44.271 if you do not produce, you get fired. 1937 01:39:44.311 --> 01:39:45.869 It's that simple. 1938 01:39:45.912 --> 01:39:48.881 Sloan is the hardest working person I ever met. 1939 01:39:48.915 --> 01:39:51.440 You're a bright young man. 1940 01:39:51.485 --> 01:39:53.817 How do you think she got the gig in the first place? 1941 01:39:55.722 --> 01:39:58.850 I hate to burst your bubble, Mantan the Marvelous... 1942 01:39:58.892 --> 01:40:01.952 but Sloan is an opportunist. 1943 01:40:01.995 --> 01:40:05.362 Naw, man. You don't believe that. 1944 01:40:05.399 --> 01:40:06.889 I don't believe that. 1945 01:40:06.933 --> 01:40:08.423 Do I have to spell it out for you? 1946 01:40:08.468 --> 01:40:13.030 In fact, why don't you go ask her yourself? 1947 01:40:13.073 --> 01:40:16.270 Ask her. Say, "Sloan, how did you get this gig?" 1948 01:40:16.309 --> 01:40:17.606 How did you get this gig? 1949 01:40:17.644 --> 01:40:21.603 I had an internship and I worked like a dog... 1950 01:40:21.648 --> 01:40:23.741 to get in the position that I'm in today. 1951 01:40:23.784 --> 01:40:25.411 You leaving something out? 1952 01:40:25.452 --> 01:40:27.977 Like I said... 1953 01:40:28.021 --> 01:40:30.046 I had an internship... 1954 01:40:30.090 --> 01:40:32.320 Dela liked how I worked... 1955 01:40:32.359 --> 01:40:34.589 and he hired me as his assistant. 1956 01:40:34.628 --> 01:40:36.528 And? 1957 01:40:36.563 --> 01:40:39.691 And what? 1958 01:40:39.733 --> 01:40:42.133 Don't play me right now, Sloan. 1959 01:40:42.169 --> 01:40:47.436 Manray, if you have something to ask me, ask it. 1960 01:40:47.474 --> 01:40:49.374 You just want me to say it? 1961 01:40:49.409 --> 01:40:51.274 Say what? 1962 01:40:53.947 --> 01:40:55.346 Did you ever sleep with Dela? 1963 01:40:55.382 --> 01:40:56.849 Yes, I did. 1964 01:40:56.883 --> 01:40:58.350 I knew it. 1965 01:40:58.385 --> 01:41:00.615 Listen, it doesn't have anything to do... 1966 01:41:00.654 --> 01:41:02.588 with how I got my job. 1967 01:41:02.622 --> 01:41:05.318 It was a mistake, OK? 1968 01:41:05.358 --> 01:41:07.690 It happened a very long time ago... 1969 01:41:07.728 --> 01:41:10.595 and it doesn't have anything to do with me and you. 1970 01:41:12.432 --> 01:41:14.024 You know what? 1971 01:41:14.067 --> 01:41:16.194 I think you was probably gonna play me... 1972 01:41:16.236 --> 01:41:19.399 try to use me just like you used Dela... 1973 01:41:19.439 --> 01:41:22.431 to work your way to the top. 1974 01:41:22.476 --> 01:41:24.944 It's funny how people in this business... 1975 01:41:24.978 --> 01:41:27.242 can just flip on you like lHOP. 1976 01:41:27.280 --> 01:41:29.214 I'm glad he fired your ass. 1977 01:41:33.286 --> 01:41:34.480 You... 1978 01:41:35.956 --> 01:41:37.924 You know what? 1979 01:41:37.958 --> 01:41:40.085 Let me tell you what's funny. 1980 01:41:40.127 --> 01:41:43.221 It's funny how a man always has to perceive... 1981 01:41:43.263 --> 01:41:44.730 an attractive young lady... 1982 01:41:44.765 --> 01:41:46.733 as having to fuck or suck somebody... 1983 01:41:46.767 --> 01:41:48.462 in order to get to the top. 1984 01:41:48.502 --> 01:41:50.402 It doesn't have anything to do with the fact... 1985 01:41:50.437 --> 01:41:52.132 that I'm intelligent maybe? 1986 01:41:52.172 --> 01:41:55.107 Or have anything to do with the fact that I have drive? 1987 01:41:55.142 --> 01:41:56.666 That doesn't matter! 1988 01:41:56.710 --> 01:41:57.938 No, I fucked him. 1989 01:41:57.978 --> 01:42:00.071 Yes, I fucked him. How about that? 1990 01:42:03.517 --> 01:42:07.886 The question is-- Are you a puppet for Dela? 1991 01:42:07.921 --> 01:42:09.582 Don't try to change the subject. 1992 01:42:09.623 --> 01:42:10.920 I'm not changing anything. 1993 01:42:10.957 --> 01:42:12.322 I'm asking you a question. 1994 01:42:12.359 --> 01:42:14.884 Are you a puppet for Dela? 1995 01:42:14.928 --> 01:42:18.091 No. I'm lookin' at Dela's puppet. 1996 01:42:18.131 --> 01:42:20.725 Then the real question is... 1997 01:42:22.536 --> 01:42:24.401 Whose puppet are you? 1998 01:42:32.712 --> 01:42:34.236 Hello, Mommy. How are you? 1999 01:42:34.281 --> 01:42:36.579 I'm just fine, honey. 2000 01:42:36.616 --> 01:42:40.643 I've just been here reading about your show. 2001 01:42:40.687 --> 01:42:42.746 It's everywhere. 2002 01:42:42.789 --> 01:42:45.986 I only saw it once. 2003 01:42:46.026 --> 01:42:48.221 I thought you told me there would be no buffoonery. 2004 01:42:48.261 --> 01:42:50.695 Are you going to attack me, too? 2005 01:42:50.730 --> 01:42:53.426 The show is a hit. Why can't you be happy for me? 2006 01:42:53.466 --> 01:42:56.526 Of course I'm happy for you, honey... 2007 01:42:56.570 --> 01:42:59.801 but a coon is a coon. 2008 01:43:02.342 --> 01:43:03.570 Peerless. 2009 01:43:03.610 --> 01:43:04.770 What? 2010 01:43:04.811 --> 01:43:08.338 You work so hard for your success, honey. 2011 01:43:08.381 --> 01:43:11.441 Yes, I have--very hard. 2012 01:43:11.484 --> 01:43:12.781 Has my father called? 2013 01:43:14.020 --> 01:43:15.214 Not at all? 2014 01:43:15.255 --> 01:43:18.019 Well, honey, you know your daddy. 2015 01:43:19.192 --> 01:43:21.422 If and when he does call... 2016 01:43:21.461 --> 01:43:24.919 please don't forget to ask him if he's seen "Mantan." 2017 01:43:24.965 --> 01:43:26.626 I will, honey. 2018 01:43:29.936 --> 01:43:32.302 You disappoint me. 2019 01:43:32.339 --> 01:43:35.831 Yes, well, I have to go now. 2020 01:43:37.644 --> 01:43:39.635 What the hell are you smiling at? 2021 01:43:52.292 --> 01:43:53.953 Jolly nigger bank. 2022 01:45:04.731 --> 01:45:06.961 When I thought or imagined... 2023 01:45:07.000 --> 01:45:09.935 that my favorite jolly nigger bank-- 2024 01:45:09.970 --> 01:45:14.202 an inanimate object, a piece of cold cast iron... 2025 01:45:14.240 --> 01:45:18.199 was moving by itself, I knew I was getting paranoid. 2026 01:45:18.244 --> 01:45:21.179 Did I really see what I saw? 2027 01:45:21.214 --> 01:45:24.149 Or was I hallucinating? 2028 01:45:24.484 --> 01:45:28.284 What's up, my millennium people? 2029 01:45:41.468 --> 01:45:43.561 My name is... 2030 01:45:45.338 --> 01:45:48.899 Honest Abe Honeycutt. 2031 01:45:53.446 --> 01:45:55.744 And I just have one thing to say. 2032 01:45:55.782 --> 01:45:57.306 -What? -What is it? 2033 01:46:04.391 --> 01:46:06.291 Sounds so good I got to do it again. 2034 01:46:12.298 --> 01:46:14.562 And four score... 2035 01:46:14.601 --> 01:46:16.535 and seven years ago... 2036 01:46:18.405 --> 01:46:22.205 they was kicking our black asses. 2037 01:46:22.242 --> 01:46:24.437 Boy, I mean they had a whip... 2038 01:46:24.477 --> 01:46:26.877 and they was kicking our black asses... 2039 01:46:26.913 --> 01:46:28.608 from can't see in the morning... 2040 01:46:28.648 --> 01:46:33.415 until can't see at night. 2041 01:46:33.453 --> 01:46:41.553 But this is the new millennium! 2042 01:46:41.594 --> 01:46:45.325 How's everybody doing? 2043 01:46:45.365 --> 01:46:48.664 Grandma Bull, is you a nigger? 2044 01:46:48.701 --> 01:46:51.499 Yes, sirree, bob. 2045 01:46:51.538 --> 01:46:52.903 Darn tootin' I'm a nigger. 2046 01:46:55.475 --> 01:46:58.103 Give her applause. Give her some applause. 2047 01:46:58.144 --> 01:47:00.476 I love you. 2048 01:47:00.513 --> 01:47:02.981 My boy, is you a nigger? 2049 01:47:03.016 --> 01:47:05.644 Honeycutt, you be a nigger. 2050 01:47:10.290 --> 01:47:11.780 Let's be niggers together! 2051 01:47:11.825 --> 01:47:13.224 Boom, boom, Honeycutt! 2052 01:47:13.259 --> 01:47:16.456 Boom, boom, Honeycutt! 2053 01:47:16.496 --> 01:47:17.861 Are you a nigger? 2054 01:47:17.897 --> 01:47:22.732 Yes. I'm from the Bronx, man. 2055 01:47:22.769 --> 01:47:26.261 Home of the world champions! New York Yankees! 2056 01:47:31.845 --> 01:47:33.472 Where you from, my sister? 2057 01:47:33.513 --> 01:47:35.105 Puerto Rico. 2058 01:47:35.148 --> 01:47:37.878 That's right, baby, so I'm not just a nigger. 2059 01:47:37.917 --> 01:47:40.886 I'm a nigger, OK? 2060 01:47:40.920 --> 01:47:42.854 Send something to our other sisters out there. 2061 01:47:44.858 --> 01:47:48.157 If you not a nigger, be a nigger! 2062 01:47:49.229 --> 01:47:50.389 Is you a nigger? 2063 01:47:50.430 --> 01:47:52.227 I'm a Sicilian nigger... 2064 01:47:52.265 --> 01:47:56.167 which means I'm more of a nigger than any nigger in here. 2065 01:47:58.671 --> 01:48:00.969 Because you know what they say about Sicilians. 2066 01:48:01.007 --> 01:48:03.441 We're darker than most niggers. 2067 01:48:03.476 --> 01:48:06.377 We're bigger than most niggers. 2068 01:48:06.412 --> 01:48:07.902 And we rap better than most niggers. 2069 01:48:07.947 --> 01:48:11.508 I'm white, not black, but not all the time 2070 01:48:11.551 --> 01:48:14.076 I'm in blackface, and I'm feelin' fine 2071 01:48:14.120 --> 01:48:16.884 No matter what color, no matter what race 2072 01:48:16.923 --> 01:48:19.949 You know you're cold chillin' when you're in blackface 2073 01:48:24.797 --> 01:48:26.958 Can I find somebody? Wait a minute. 2074 01:48:28.701 --> 01:48:30.862 Lord have mercy. 2075 01:48:30.904 --> 01:48:33.532 Is you a nigger? 2076 01:48:33.573 --> 01:48:36.736 Honeycutt, I don't know about all the other people in here... 2077 01:48:36.776 --> 01:48:39.540 but I'm keepin' it real. You know what I'm sayin'? 2078 01:48:39.579 --> 01:48:42.173 I'm keepin' it real 2079 01:48:42.215 --> 01:48:43.512 I got one more thing to say. 2080 01:48:43.550 --> 01:48:47.384 I am a really real negress. Thank you. 2081 01:48:47.420 --> 01:48:49.354 A real negress! 2082 01:48:49.389 --> 01:48:51.220 A negress! 2083 01:48:54.861 --> 01:48:56.556 Y'all ain't going to waste no time, huh? 2084 01:48:56.596 --> 01:48:58.257 Him! 2085 01:48:58.298 --> 01:48:59.629 You! 2086 01:48:59.666 --> 01:49:00.758 You! 2087 01:49:04.704 --> 01:49:09.903 We are all God's niggers! 2088 01:49:09.943 --> 01:49:14.573 Even the lost souls who don't know that they niggers. 2089 01:49:14.614 --> 01:49:16.878 They niggers, too. 2090 01:49:16.916 --> 01:49:20.647 -Do you know why? -Why? 2091 01:49:20.687 --> 01:49:23.656 'Cause niggers is a beautiful thing. 2092 01:49:23.690 --> 01:49:28.650 Niggers is a beautiful thing! 2093 01:49:33.466 --> 01:49:36.060 Sorry I'm late. Tough time catching a cab. 2094 01:49:36.102 --> 01:49:37.797 Perhaps they thought you were Danny Glover. 2095 01:49:42.242 --> 01:49:43.834 -Delacroix here. -This is Bunning. 2096 01:49:43.876 --> 01:49:47.039 I have Mantan up there, and he's not getting dressed... 2097 01:49:47.080 --> 01:49:49.412 and he's not in makeup. What am I supposed to do? 2098 01:49:49.449 --> 01:49:51.917 -He's not in blackface. -I'll be right there. 2099 01:49:51.951 --> 01:49:53.646 You want to check on the little delay? 2100 01:49:53.686 --> 01:49:55.449 That's where I'm going. 2101 01:49:55.488 --> 01:49:56.614 I'm just keepin' it real. 2102 01:49:56.689 --> 01:49:58.247 Where is he? 2103 01:50:03.496 --> 01:50:06.659 Mantan, what's going on here? We have a show to tape. 2104 01:50:06.699 --> 01:50:09.293 My name is Manray, God damn it. 2105 01:50:09.335 --> 01:50:13.328 God damn it, Manray, we've got a show to tape. 2106 01:50:13.373 --> 01:50:14.738 Please. 2107 01:50:14.774 --> 01:50:18.471 Go to your room, put on your costume, and blacken up. 2108 01:50:18.511 --> 01:50:21.480 Look, man, I'm not playing myself no more. 2109 01:50:21.514 --> 01:50:23.277 Come again? 2110 01:50:23.316 --> 01:50:24.476 I'm done, man. 2111 01:50:24.517 --> 01:50:27.509 This whole blackface buck shit, I'm done, man. 2112 01:50:27.553 --> 01:50:29.282 I know what you're going through right now. 2113 01:50:29.322 --> 01:50:32.223 I mean, first, Womack and then Sloan. 2114 01:50:32.258 --> 01:50:34.055 Oh, my God. It broke my heart... 2115 01:50:34.093 --> 01:50:36.561 to have to be the one to pull your coattails... 2116 01:50:36.596 --> 01:50:38.996 as to her sexual exploits. 2117 01:50:39.032 --> 01:50:43.969 However, we must remain professional. 2118 01:50:44.003 --> 01:50:46.597 The show must go on. 2119 01:50:46.639 --> 01:50:48.698 I will always be professional... 2120 01:50:48.741 --> 01:50:50.231 but as far as this buck dancing... 2121 01:50:50.276 --> 01:50:52.141 this blackface shit, I'm not doing it. 2122 01:50:52.178 --> 01:50:53.907 No costume, no blackface? 2123 01:50:53.946 --> 01:50:55.777 Hell, no blackface. 2124 01:50:57.317 --> 01:50:59.717 Fine. 2125 01:50:59.752 --> 01:51:02.050 It's going to be your funeral. 2126 01:51:02.088 --> 01:51:04.283 We want Mantan! 2127 01:51:10.196 --> 01:51:13.256 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much. 2128 01:51:13.299 --> 01:51:15.767 We apologize for the holdup. 2129 01:51:15.802 --> 01:51:18.396 So, without any further delay, ladies and gentlemen... 2130 01:51:18.438 --> 01:51:23.000 give it up for Mantan! 2131 01:51:55.074 --> 01:51:56.837 What's going on? 2132 01:51:56.876 --> 01:51:58.070 What do you mean, you don't know? 2133 01:52:00.613 --> 01:52:02.137 Cousins... 2134 01:52:03.716 --> 01:52:07.550 I want you all to go to your windows. 2135 01:52:07.587 --> 01:52:09.817 Go to your windows and yell out. 2136 01:52:09.856 --> 01:52:13.952 Scream with all the life that you can muster up... 2137 01:52:13.993 --> 01:52:16.791 inside your bruised... 2138 01:52:16.829 --> 01:52:20.424 assaulted, and battered bodies. 2139 01:52:20.466 --> 01:52:24.732 I am sick and tired of being a nigger... 2140 01:52:24.771 --> 01:52:29.174 and I am not going to take it anymore! 2141 01:52:29.208 --> 01:52:30.937 Sick and tired of being a nigger? 2142 01:52:30.977 --> 01:52:32.410 What? 2143 01:52:38.451 --> 01:52:41.045 I don't think he's getting up. 2144 01:52:45.958 --> 01:52:48.051 -What is this? -lt must be a dance. 2145 01:52:51.063 --> 01:52:52.792 What the fuck is going on here? 2146 01:52:55.635 --> 01:52:57.865 Stop the tape! 2147 01:52:57.904 --> 01:52:59.667 Stop the goddamn tape! 2148 01:52:59.705 --> 01:53:01.070 Stop! Cut it! 2149 01:53:02.074 --> 01:53:04.133 Cut! Cut! 2150 01:53:04.177 --> 01:53:06.702 What are you doing? 2151 01:53:06.746 --> 01:53:07.974 Stop dancing! 2152 01:53:08.014 --> 01:53:09.538 Get him out of the building! 2153 01:53:09.582 --> 01:53:11.812 -Stop dancing! -Get off me! 2154 01:53:11.851 --> 01:53:13.045 Stop dancing! 2155 01:53:13.085 --> 01:53:14.712 Yo, what you doing? 2156 01:53:14.754 --> 01:53:16.847 We apologize, ladies and gentlemen. 2157 01:53:16.889 --> 01:53:19.824 Just relax. We'll be right back with a good show. 2158 01:53:19.859 --> 01:53:21.656 Hold that. 2159 01:53:21.694 --> 01:53:24.390 Get him out of here! Get him out. 2160 01:53:24.430 --> 01:53:25.727 Ladies and gentlemen... 2161 01:53:25.765 --> 01:53:28.393 Mantan has come down with a case of coon-itis. 2162 01:53:28.434 --> 01:53:31.232 We'll take him out back and whip it right out of him. 2163 01:53:31.270 --> 01:53:34.137 I will have him out here even if I have to cut off a foot. 2164 01:53:34.173 --> 01:53:36.664 He'll dance like... 2165 01:53:36.709 --> 01:53:38.336 You just relax. 2166 01:53:38.377 --> 01:53:39.537 Get him out. 2167 01:53:39.579 --> 01:53:41.706 Come on, man! I wasn't finished doing my dancing! 2168 01:53:41.747 --> 01:53:43.237 But you are finished. You're done. 2169 01:53:43.282 --> 01:53:45.113 Niggers like you are a dime-a-dozen. 2170 01:53:45.151 --> 01:53:46.311 You think you're special? 2171 01:53:46.352 --> 01:53:48.115 I'm going to slide Honeycutt right into your spot... 2172 01:53:48.154 --> 01:53:49.519 you fake-ass tap dance kid. 2173 01:53:49.555 --> 01:53:51.489 Get him out of the building. 2174 01:53:51.524 --> 01:53:52.855 Ungrateful mother... 2175 01:53:52.892 --> 01:53:54.086 -Let's go, Honeycutt. -Yes, sir. 2176 01:53:54.126 --> 01:53:55.821 I'll deal with you next. 2177 01:53:58.297 --> 01:54:00.527 Don't ever come back no more! 2178 01:54:00.566 --> 01:54:02.761 This is bullshit. 2179 01:54:12.812 --> 01:54:14.211 You a dead motherfucker. 2180 01:54:14.247 --> 01:54:15.976 What did I do, man? 2181 01:54:16.015 --> 01:54:18.381 The cryin' motherfucker wanna know what he did. 2182 01:54:18.417 --> 01:54:19.884 That's your goddamn problem. 2183 01:54:19.919 --> 01:54:22.046 You know exactly what the fuck you did. 2184 01:54:22.088 --> 01:54:25.615 Negro, you will be executed. 2185 01:54:25.658 --> 01:54:26.852 For what? 2186 01:54:26.893 --> 01:54:28.827 For singing and dancing? 2187 01:54:28.861 --> 01:54:30.226 I was just hoofin', man. 2188 01:54:30.263 --> 01:54:31.662 Just hoofin', man. 2189 01:54:31.697 --> 01:54:33.722 You're going to be done in front of the whole world. 2190 01:54:33.766 --> 01:54:35.666 Telemundo. 2191 01:54:35.701 --> 01:54:38.602 The whole world is going to be watching this. 2192 01:54:38.638 --> 01:54:42.039 The Mau Maus had come up with a brilliant, sadistic plan... 2193 01:54:42.074 --> 01:54:44.975 to broadcast Mantan's execution live. 2194 01:54:45.011 --> 01:54:47.878 No way we gonna be found out. You ain't even here. 2195 01:54:47.914 --> 01:54:49.939 Motherfucker, you in cyberspace, man. 2196 01:54:49.982 --> 01:54:52.348 This is gonna really boost your ratings. 2197 01:54:52.385 --> 01:54:55.354 Beat the mass, Mau Maus be about land and freedom 2198 01:54:55.388 --> 01:54:56.753 Reparation and apologies 2199 01:54:56.789 --> 01:54:58.689 For African to America odysseys 2200 01:54:58.724 --> 01:55:01.284 Guerrilla-type tactics on them socialistic fallacies 2201 01:55:01.327 --> 01:55:02.453 It be about the devastation 2202 01:55:02.495 --> 01:55:04.224 Of the social Darwinistic thought 2203 01:55:04.263 --> 01:55:05.821 Keep a brown man down, sport 2204 01:55:05.865 --> 01:55:08.356 They wanna keep an eye on the fetch and set nigger 2205 01:55:08.401 --> 01:55:09.766 The way fresh, and I'll put it 2206 01:55:09.802 --> 01:55:11.429 They lucky I ain't red wretched yet 2207 01:55:11.470 --> 01:55:14.371 Yo, you fucked up in the game now 2208 01:55:14.407 --> 01:55:17.501 The Mau Maus sent anonymous e-mail proclamations... 2209 01:55:17.543 --> 01:55:23.038 to the web sites of CNN, ABC, NBC, and CBS. 2210 01:55:23.082 --> 01:55:26.677 It was an invite to witness the dance of death-- 2211 01:55:26.719 --> 01:55:29.688 Ten p.m. prime time, tomorrow night. 2212 01:55:29.722 --> 01:55:31.986 Bow down, there's four lives in the ground now 2213 01:55:32.024 --> 01:55:33.286 Shake 'em down 2214 01:55:33.326 --> 01:55:34.793 Black monk like that Thelonious 2215 01:55:34.827 --> 01:55:36.556 The government got the black phobia 2216 01:55:36.596 --> 01:55:39.531 Hello. My name is Thomas Dunwitty. 2217 01:55:39.565 --> 01:55:41.055 I'm the senior V.P... 2218 01:55:41.100 --> 01:55:44.297 of the entertainment division here at CNS. 2219 01:55:44.337 --> 01:55:47.033 I come to you with a heavy heart. 2220 01:55:47.073 --> 01:55:49.234 This abduction is a cowardly... 2221 01:55:49.275 --> 01:55:52.073 vile, sinful, and dastardly act... 2222 01:55:52.111 --> 01:55:55.512 and I promise that these creeps will be prosecuted... 2223 01:55:55.548 --> 01:55:58.073 to the fullest extent of the law. 2224 01:55:58.117 --> 01:56:03.054 This is a total, complete attack on our American way of life. 2225 01:56:03.089 --> 01:56:04.556 We here at CNS... 2226 01:56:04.590 --> 01:56:07.582 are offering a $1 million cash reward... 2227 01:56:07.627 --> 01:56:11.119 for any information that leads to the safe return home... 2228 01:56:11.163 --> 01:56:14.564 of our dear friend and homey Mantan. 2229 01:56:14.600 --> 01:56:17.535 Mantan, our prayers are with you... 2230 01:56:17.570 --> 01:56:20.300 and may God bless America. 2231 01:56:24.477 --> 01:56:26.138 It was 10:00... 2232 01:56:26.178 --> 01:56:29.147 and the Dance of Death was about to commence. 2233 01:56:29.181 --> 01:56:32.173 Since a lot of people still don't have computers... 2234 01:56:32.218 --> 01:56:35.949 the networks sought a court order to carry it live... 2235 01:56:35.988 --> 01:56:38.388 taking it off the feed. 2236 01:56:38.424 --> 01:56:39.823 It was granted. 2237 01:56:39.859 --> 01:56:41.451 A live snuff broadcast... 2238 01:56:41.494 --> 01:56:44.122 right into the comfort of your living room. 2239 01:56:44.163 --> 01:56:47.394 Yo, we're live in five, four... 2240 01:56:47.433 --> 01:56:49.401 three, two... 2241 01:56:49.435 --> 01:56:53.269 We are now live in cyberspace. 2242 01:56:53.305 --> 01:56:56.570 Whereas Mantan is a Tom. 2243 01:56:56.609 --> 01:57:00.272 Whereas Mantan is a disgrace. 2244 01:57:00.312 --> 01:57:04.476 Whereas Mantan is a head-scratchin'... 2245 01:57:04.517 --> 01:57:09.147 foot-shufflin' Negro! 2246 01:57:09.188 --> 01:57:10.621 Let me go, man! 2247 01:57:10.656 --> 01:57:12.817 Be strong, boy. Be strong. 2248 01:57:12.858 --> 01:57:16.385 ...Dancing fool is condemned to death. 2249 01:57:16.429 --> 01:57:18.795 I's a good Negro. 2250 01:57:18.831 --> 01:57:20.389 See that bitch's dancing feet? 2251 01:57:20.433 --> 01:57:22.264 Let's show you some real educated feets. 2252 01:57:22.301 --> 01:57:25.566 Show us some of them fancy moves. 2253 01:57:25.604 --> 01:57:28.004 Get your ass up. Get that nigger up. 2254 01:57:28.040 --> 01:57:30.565 Let him do some dancing for us. 2255 01:57:30.609 --> 01:57:32.270 Get up on your feet, man. 2256 01:57:32.311 --> 01:57:35.576 Show us them feet. Don't be ashamed. 2257 01:57:35.614 --> 01:57:39.141 -Dance for us! -Showtime! 2258 01:58:41.547 --> 01:58:43.640 You fucked up in the game now. 2259 01:59:18.951 --> 01:59:20.942 Stop it! Stop it! 2260 01:59:20.986 --> 01:59:22.317 Stop it! 2261 01:59:22.354 --> 01:59:24.720 Stop it, I say! 2262 01:59:26.158 --> 01:59:30.891 Leave me alone! 2263 01:59:30.930 --> 01:59:31.919 Spear chuckers! 2264 01:59:32.932 --> 01:59:35.457 Get rid of these porch monkeys! 2265 01:59:35.501 --> 01:59:37.628 Jungle bunny! 2266 01:59:41.307 --> 01:59:42.797 Yo, dawg. 2267 01:59:42.842 --> 01:59:45.709 Yo, I'm fucked up, dawg. 2268 01:59:45.744 --> 01:59:48.110 Yo, you need a light? 2269 01:59:48.147 --> 01:59:50.240 Yo, man, I got some fire. 2270 01:59:53.085 --> 01:59:55.485 Yo, who got the fire? 2271 01:59:55.521 --> 01:59:57.421 Who got the flame? 2272 01:59:57.456 --> 02:00:00.152 Shit. Hey! 2273 02:00:08.934 --> 02:00:11.732 Why didn't you kill me? 2274 02:00:11.770 --> 02:00:13.135 I'm black! 2275 02:00:13.172 --> 02:00:14.298 Why didn't you kill me? 2276 02:00:14.340 --> 02:00:16.900 I'm black! I'm black! 2277 02:00:16.942 --> 02:00:20.036 All it takes is one fucking drop of black blood! 2278 02:00:20.079 --> 02:00:21.808 Everyone thinks he's black! 2279 02:00:21.847 --> 02:00:24.042 Mau Maus! 2280 02:00:24.083 --> 02:00:26.051 You should've killed me. 2281 02:00:26.085 --> 02:00:29.748 You should've fucking killed me! 2282 02:00:29.788 --> 02:00:33.485 All it takes is one fucking drop of black blood, motherfucker! 2283 02:00:33.525 --> 02:00:36.722 You're black! 2284 02:00:36.762 --> 02:00:38.423 Get the fuck off me! 2285 02:01:33.819 --> 02:01:35.582 Hi, Peerless. 2286 02:01:38.891 --> 02:01:41.985 You done fucked up now. 2287 02:01:42.027 --> 02:01:47.021 You didn't think I had one of these, did you? 2288 02:01:49.768 --> 02:01:51.099 My brother gave me this. 2289 02:01:55.341 --> 02:01:57.809 Oh, I see.. 2290 02:01:57.843 --> 02:02:00.311 you brought my tape. 2291 02:02:00.346 --> 02:02:03.281 Get up and put it in. 2292 02:02:05.784 --> 02:02:08.480 Get up and put it in! 2293 02:02:20.232 --> 02:02:25.101 That's right. You'll listen to me tonight. 2294 02:02:25.137 --> 02:02:27.571 All this time, you didn't listen to what I had to say... 2295 02:02:27.606 --> 02:02:29.597 but you going to listen to me tonight. 2296 02:02:29.641 --> 02:02:33.304 This is "Listen to Sloan Day." 2297 02:02:43.355 --> 02:02:46.085 It's my night. 2298 02:02:46.125 --> 02:02:48.491 I want you to look at this shit. 2299 02:02:48.527 --> 02:02:53.726 Look to what you contributed to. 2300 02:02:53.766 --> 02:02:57.532 Because of you, my brother's dead. 2301 02:02:57.569 --> 02:03:00.561 Manray. You done fucked up everything! 2302 02:03:05.177 --> 02:03:08.340 -Think they're cannibals? -You see this shit? 2303 02:03:08.380 --> 02:03:10.473 They wouldn't dare do that to white people. 2304 02:03:10.516 --> 02:03:12.484 Maybe they want some dark meat. 2305 02:03:12.518 --> 02:03:15.681 What do you have to say for yourself? 2306 02:03:22.861 --> 02:03:25.329 What do you have to say for yourself? 2307 02:03:27.066 --> 02:03:29.057 Sloan, give me the gun. 2308 02:03:29.101 --> 02:03:31.535 -Don't. -Please. 2309 02:03:32.738 --> 02:03:35.866 Don't, Peerless. Don't make me. No. 2310 02:03:35.908 --> 02:03:37.603 Don't come over here. 2311 02:03:50.823 --> 02:03:52.916 Peerless... 2312 02:03:52.958 --> 02:03:55.256 I'm sorry. 2313 02:03:55.294 --> 02:03:56.727 It's OK. 2314 02:03:56.762 --> 02:04:01.324 You never listened to me. You made me do that. 2315 02:04:05.437 --> 02:04:07.371 As I bled to death... 2316 02:04:07.406 --> 02:04:10.739 as my very life oozed out of me... 2317 02:04:10.776 --> 02:04:12.437 all I could think of was something... 2318 02:04:12.478 --> 02:04:16.812 the great Negro James Baldwin had written. 2319 02:04:16.849 --> 02:04:20.910 "People pay for what they do, and still more... 2320 02:04:20.953 --> 02:04:24.616 "for what they have allowed themselves to become... 2321 02:04:24.656 --> 02:04:29.753 "and they pay for it very simply by the lives they lead." 2322 02:04:29.795 --> 02:04:32.787 Now it was time for me to buy the farm... 2323 02:04:32.831 --> 02:04:34.822 to meet my maker. 2324 02:04:34.867 --> 02:04:37.097 Good-bye, cousins. 2325 02:04:37.136 --> 02:04:40.697 Please tune in next week for the best of... 2326 02:04:40.739 --> 02:04:47.144 "Mantan: The New Millennium Minstrel show." 2327 02:04:47.179 --> 02:04:48.771 Gonna to put your shoes on? 2328 02:04:48.814 --> 02:04:53.012 No, sir. Savin' them in case my feet wear out. 2329 02:04:53.051 --> 02:04:55.042 Well, Mr. Bones, how are you this evening? 2330 02:04:55.087 --> 02:04:56.884 Me? 2331 02:04:56.922 --> 02:04:59.413 I's the personification of health, Mr. Christie. 2332 02:04:59.458 --> 02:05:03.121 Good. Who was that lady I saw you with this afternoon? 2333 02:05:03.162 --> 02:05:06.654 That was no lady. That was my wife. 2334 02:05:30.022 --> 02:05:33.116 I'll bust your head. 2335 02:05:33.158 --> 02:05:35.456 Good gracious me. 2336 02:05:56.949 --> 02:05:58.473 Who is that? 2337 02:06:11.363 --> 02:06:13.194 What gives? 2338 02:06:14.299 --> 02:06:17.291 What's the matter with you, boy? 2339 02:06:22.741 --> 02:06:29.169 My mam...Mammy. 2340 02:06:29.214 --> 02:06:31.375 -What was that? -How'd I know? 2341 02:06:31.416 --> 02:06:33.714 Are you ready, Liza? 2342 02:06:33.752 --> 02:06:35.913 I's ready, Uncle Tom. 2343 02:06:35.954 --> 02:06:38.320 Is you ready, Simon Legree? 2344 02:06:38.357 --> 02:06:40.154 I'm always ready. 2345 02:06:49.801 --> 02:06:52.793 I broke in as a bootblack, you know. 2346 02:06:52.838 --> 02:06:53.827 Here we go. 2347 02:06:57.242 --> 02:06:58.766 For a month and a half, I've been dreaming... 2348 02:06:58.810 --> 02:07:01.244 how pretty I was going to look tonight. 2349 02:07:01.280 --> 02:07:04.738 Here's my punishment for thinking so well of myself. 2350 02:07:04.783 --> 02:07:08.310 This is tough to put on and take off. 2351 02:07:10.756 --> 02:07:12.053 You know, you're lucky. 2352 02:07:45.057 --> 02:07:46.524 Cut them monkeyshines. 2353 02:07:46.558 --> 02:07:48.788 Chicken house? What am I waiting for? 2354 02:07:48.827 --> 02:07:50.294 I don't know. 2355 02:07:50.329 --> 02:07:52.229 Me, either. Tally ho. 2356 02:07:55.734 --> 02:07:56.826 Yes, sir. 2357 02:07:56.868 --> 02:07:58.460 Yes, sir, mister. 2358 02:07:58.503 --> 02:07:59.470 Yes, sir. 2359 02:07:59.504 --> 02:08:02.200 -Yes, ma'am. -Yes, Miss Bellmer. 2360 02:08:02.240 --> 02:08:04.037 Yes, Miss Maggie. 2361 02:08:04.076 --> 02:08:09.139 Brothers, it's certainly going to be a lesson to me. 2362 02:08:09.181 --> 02:08:13.481 Maybe Baldwin was right, maybe he was wrong... 2363 02:08:13.518 --> 02:08:17.386 but as my father often told me... 2364 02:08:17.422 --> 02:08:21.085 "Always keep 'em laughing." 2365 02:08:22,085 --> 02:08:32,085 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org