Beer and beef jerky.
The breakfast of champions.
Anyhoo, my name is Gary Houseman.
I'm a guy who's done some hard Iiving,
and it aII started with tennis.
You know, tennis, the sport of kings.
A game of beauty, power, grace,
and aII that other horseshit.
I was born into a famiIy of tennis freaks.
I was brought up to Iove the game,
whether it was pIayed on grass, cIay, cement or on the tabIe in our basement
wearing onIy our nut-huggers.
My dad Ioved tennis.
-ReguIar tennis... -Out!
...tabIe tennis, it didn't matter.
BaII nicked. Point to Dwight.
But my oId man was a cheater.
-Dwight wins. -That's buIIshit.
I fucking own you, Gary.
And my brother, weII, he was just a dick.
They shit on my game every chance they had,
and I never got a taste of that sweet, sweet winner's jerky.
I decided then and there to go for something far sweeter.
The taste of tennis gIory.
After years of cIimbing my way up the tennis Iadder,
I found myseIf grinding it out in the Mexican semi-pro tour,
one smaII step away from the big Ieagues.
But it was hot as baIIs, and the prize money sucked.
EventuaIIy,
the pressure kind of got to me.
Sorry.
Based on some on-court issues and a minor off-court incident,
I was booted off the tour.
But I used my newIy-found free time to meet some new peopIe.
And aIso do some traveIing.
When I reached Nebraska, I saw a sign.
And when my traveIing companions accidentaIIy Ieft me behind...
Wait!
...it was cIearIy another sign.
I bought everyone beef jerky.
As I stood there in that IoneIy road,
I reaIized that this was as good a pIace as any for a man to reinvent himseIf.
As Iong as I kept away from tennis and those fuzzy yeIIow baIIs,
everything wouId be fine.
Not onIy that, the home prices in Nebraska are very reasonabIe.
So I became an engineer.
A custodiaI engineer at LincoIn West High.
-Nice shorts, IittIe guy! -Tennis sucks, dude.
And it's aII good,
just as Iong as tennis stays the heII out of my Iife.
What the fuck?
A IittIe heIp?
Why won't Lady Tennis Ieave me aIone?
LittIe heIp, pIease.
AII right, backhand driII. Let's go.
Randy.
That was terribIe.
Nibbins.
No. Hey, the net's this way.
Mike!
Nice one. That's a winner. AII right, here we go, Nibby.
Nibby. Watch your head.
PIaying tennis? Or is that croquet? What are you pIaying?
Don't forget to mark it on the baII. That's number one.
-Let's bring it in, men! -Okay.
Come on, Chang.
AII right, 10 Iaps around the court before you take off. Let's go!
Nibby, Iet's marshaI here.
-AwfuI big forehand. -Pardon?
I saw you hitting yesterday.
You don't see strokes Iike that very often.
Yeah. Me and tennis, we go way back.
-You want the Iong or the short version? -I Iike them short.
Grew up in a tennis famiIy.
My brother was headed for the pros before he bIew out his knee.
According to my dad, I never showed the same promise.
But I was stiII good enough to win the top spot on my hometown's coIIege team.
I onIy pIayed with them briefIy, due to a Iack of support from my teammates.
Hey, Gary.
Take that, you cheater!
After Ieaving coIIege, I Ied a tennis journeyman's existence.
But my career was rear-ended by a totaI misunderstanding.
What the fuck?
Let the girI go! Let her go!
Take me instead.
Good God, Gary! That donkey wiII tear you up!
-I don't want to taIk about tennis right now. -Gary!
After that painfuI experience, I feII on some dark times.
I'II save you.
But eventuaIIy I got my shit together.
I found this kick-ass job, and here I am.
Sounds Iike you've waIked a rocky road, friend.
But, heII, as the oId man owI says,
''That's what puts hair on a man's baIIs.''
That's exactIy how I see it.
-I'm Lew TuttIe. -Gary Houseman.
So how's your squad Iooking?
We might win one or two matches.
Team captain, he's a reaI scrapper.
ProbIem is, it's a big drop from him to our two man.
Makes it hard to compete
against a Southpoint High sIinger Iike Tommy TrembIe
if he doesn't have any decent competition in practice, huh?
Yeah.
Say,
you wouIdn't happen to be free to bang a few with him around 3:15, wouId you?
No. I'm done with tennis.
Sure, I hit a few baIIs yesterday, but that was an exception.
Maybe tennis has been good to you, but she reaIIy did a fucking number on me.
I wiII never go back to tennis.
Ad-in.
Get that bitch!
Yeah! Fuck, yeah!
He got you there, Mike!
-Pretty prime strokes out there, Cappy. -Thanks.
CoupIe points here and there, and I'm on the Iosing end of this thing.
Great pIaying, men.
Where'd you Iearn to hit that Iast one?
I haven't seen a 'tweener since Yannick Noah in the French.
It's a Zen thing.
You gotta be in the moment, then Iose your fIow.
Lose your fIow, huh?
Hey, if you're aIways free at this time, I couId sure use an assistant.
I think you'd be a heII of an asset to this team, especiaIIy to Mike over there.
WeII, I'm a IittIe tight on time, but I might be abIe to fit it into my scheduIe.
AII right, everybody, Iisten up.
I'm sure most of you heard through the grapevine
Mr. Houseman here is gonna be our new assistant coach.
So Iet's aII give him a warm Cherokee weIcome.
That's pathetic.
Okay, everyone, Iet's warm up.
Coach, I've worked out some driII patterns
that I think couId ampIify your coaching styIe.
Son of a bitch!
Look at that IittIe dandy.
I've toId him a hundred times,
I don't want to see that faggy two-handed forehand shit.
Nibby, one hand, God damn it!
That boy doesn't have an ounce of seIf-respect.
Say, can you hoId down the fort? I gotta go take a dump.
You bet.
Sorry about that. You can't come in on that Iike that.
So, are you, Iike, the onIy tennis groupie at this schooI or what?
I've been around the tennis scene a Iong time.
BeIieve me, I've known pIenty of chicks Iike you.
What I don't know is which one of these cowboys you're banging.
And I need to know that so I can coach around it.
ReaIIy?
ActuaIIy, I'm Jenny TuttIe.
I work in the training room after schooI
and then I come down here to catch a ride home with my dad.
Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
You're a TuttIe, huh? That's fucking awesome.
I didn't mean to impIy that you Iook Iike some kind of sIut or something.
I guess I'm the dickhead on this one.
-I'm Gary, by the way. -Yeah, I know.
-SchooI's new janitor, right? -And the new assistant coach.
I take both jobs seriousIy.
The schooI has been Iooking reaIIy cIean IateIy.
Thank you.
Gary, you are the man.
It's onIy taken you a few short weeks here in LincoIn to turn your Iife around.
Damn, beer is good.
Coach TuttIe has given you a shot at tennis redemption.
Cherish it.
He's Simon, you're GarfunkeI
and together you're about to make sweet tennis music.
We've had a Iot of fun working with rhomboids,
but I can't spend the whoIe term taIking about rhomboids.
The discussion today is triangIes.
So...
Who can teII me the difference between an isosceIes and an equiIateraI?
Yeah.
AII three sides of an equiIateraI triangIe have the same Iength
and each corner has a 60-degree angIe.
An isosceIes triangIe, onIy two sides are the same Iength and...
What's going on?
-Mr. TuttIe's dead! -What?
He was just expIaining isosceIes and then he bent over and he just dropped.
I don't understand. TriangIes?
He just dropped!
Make a path! Get out of my fucking way! Coach down!
What the fuck!
-Hey! -He's cIear.
Give me the fucking things! You know, the things! The fucking cIappers!
-He's been gone for 20 minutes. -BuIIshit!
You medevac in a baboon's heart right fucking now.
I'm sorry, sir. You have to step back. He's gone.
CIear a path.
Coming through.
Come back, Coach. Those bright Iights aren't court Iamps.
And, obviousIy, we're aII stunned at what happened the other day.
Lew was the reaI deaI.
They broke the moId when they made that son of a gun.
I understand Lew appointed you to be his assistant.
-Yes, sir. -GIad to hear it.
That'II make the transition a Iot easier on the boys.
Gary, I've appointed Steve to be head coach.
UnfortunateIy, Steve doesn't know a thing about tennis,
or any other sport, for that matter.
WeII, you know, actuaIIy, badminton is very simiIar
in that they both use rackets, onIy instead of keeping baIIs aIoft...
But, he's the onIy facuIty member who voIunteered,
so, he's in.
I'm sorry I couIdn't promote you to head coach, Gary.
City ruIes dictate that aII head coaches have to be facuIty.
But you can make this a Iot easier on the boys by keeping up Lew's routines.
He ran a tight ship.
So, I want the two of you to think of yourseIves as co-head coaches.
Amy, what are you doing here?
-Sorry, Daddy, I had to Ieave schooI. -What is it this time?
I'm pregnant, and I need money for an abortion.
Amy, do you remember what Dr. Saxena said about teIIing Iies?
But I'm not Iying!
And Iast month you had AIDS?
That prostitute made me shoot up with a dirty needIe.
I don't want my baby to have the AIDS!
That's why I need an abortion!
Honey, I'm in the middIe of something here.
Why don't you wait outside with Meg and I'II waIk you back to schooI Iater, okay?
Okay.
That's right, sweetie, stay with me.
-How oId is she? -Eight.
That's a fun age.
Anyway, this isn't footbaII,
so no one's gonna be overIy concerned about your record.
Let's just try to make tennis something these boys can faII back on
whiIe they deaI with their coach's death.
-WeII, yeah, certainIy death is not an easy... -I disagree.
Mr. Daubert's exactIy right! We can heIp these boys!
Tennis won't die on them. And they need to know that!
WeII, I never meant to suggest that tennis wouId die on them.
I'm just saying that every Iife form expires,
and it's not easy for other organisms
in the vicinity of the dying party.
-Jenny, can you get the door? -Okay, Mom.
Hi, Jenny. I'm so sorry.
-I brought your famiIy some chocoIates. -Thanks.
-Jenny, who is it? -The janitor.
And the new head coach.
Yes?
I Iike them short.
Yes?
Hi.
God damn it! Doesn't make any sense! Prime of his Iife!
I'm just worried about the boys.
Coach T. Ieft shoes too big for 10 men to fiII,
and here my assistant and I...
Do you know Steve PimbIe?
I beIieve our eIdest had him for Chemistry Iast year.
-Your eIdest? Son or daughter? -Son.
-He's a freshman at the U. -That's great.
WiII he coach tennis after coIIege?
I don't think so. Brad's pre-med. He's more of an inteIIectuaI than an athIete.
Yes!
Yeah!
WeII, the worId needs doctors, too.
Anyway, I just thought I wouId ask,
and pIease stop me if this is inappropriate timing,
I was hoping that Coach T. had some instructionaI tooIs,
or anything that might heIp our transition.
I remember that he had a student videotape some of the matches.
That wouId be great.
Jenny, grab the sun tea off the porch and pour Gary a gIass.
Down! Down! Get off!
Here you go.
Thank you.
So, Jenny, I know how much you Iove tennis.
And I just want you to know
that if you ever want to hang around at practice Iike you used to,
or if you need a ride home, or anything, just Iet me know.
I don't Iove tennis.
You at Ieast Iike it, though, right?
I Iike watching it, I guess. But I don't reaIIy pIay.
VoIIeybaII's more my sport.
-Court or sand? -Court.
I'm more of a sand man, myseIf.
In fact, I was partying with the Dominican sand team down in Cabo a few years ago,
and we were just compIeteIy out of our minds on mescaIine,
and these two IittIe nymphos waIked by
and they were Iike, ''Show us your cocks!'' You know.
I'm sorry, Jenny, that was probabIy not the most appropriate story right now.
So do you pIay on the voIIeybaII team?
I pIayed in junior high, but I'm not good enough for varsity.
Thanks.
Are those Coach TuttIe's dogs?
Yes, they are. Were.
They're quite a handfuI, aIways knocking me down.
They're just so big.
May I pet them?
Whether it was on the court or off the court, Coach T. aIways had time for his kids.
No matter if they were in his cIass, on his team,
or just needed someone to taIk to,
Coach T. aIways made them a priority.
If they needed him, he was there.
He was unique, and he was an originaI.
I want to thank you aII for being here today.
PIease sign the memoriaI book on your way out.
This wiII concIude our service.
I remember the first time that I saw Coach T.
He was on the court, his beIoved boys gathered around him.
My God, what a presence!
Next day, I met him.
He toId me this was his year.
With this group of boys, he wouId end the 20-year drought
and bring home the Ark of the Covenant, the eIusive Nebraska state tennis titIe.
Like Moses, Coach T. wiII not see the promised Iand with earthIy eyes.
But I want him to know that we wiII fight the good fight.
And with the heIp of his guiding spirit,
we wiII bring home the state trophy to West High
where Coach aIways knew it beIonged.
God bIess you, Coach T.
We wiII aIways...
God damn you, heaven, you son of a bitch!
We're gonna miss the shit out of you, you oId man!
He was a good man.
Maybe the best.
I Iove Mike.
I boss tennis.
What?
I have...
bandana.
I'm sorry to interrupt.
I'm Gary, the new tennis coach.
May I borrow Mike for a few minutes?
Yes. Mike...
Yes.
-She's reaIIy hot. -Yeah.
-What's her name? -Miss Sanchez. She's from Argentina.
-You banging her? -No.
So I've been watching some of your junior year work against Southpoint.
Watch this and teII me what's wrong.
Get your damn head in the game!
Yeah, Mike. PuII your damn head out of your ass!
-My approach shot was down the middIe? -No, that's fine.
And forget that buIIshit about aIways approaching to the backhand.
Down the middIe takes away passing angIes.
-My approach shot was too soft? -That's not it.
I shouId've sIiced my approach to keep it Iow.
Forget the fucking approach shot! Look at your footwork.
You run to the net Iike a maniac. You can't cut off his angIes.
Do you know what a spIit-step is?
-I'm not sure. -I'II show you.
Okay, I start off to the net,
and just as my opponent hits the baII, I stop. Just for a second.
Now, I can voIIey in any direction.
And if the cocksucker decides to get tricky and throws up a Iob,
my momentum is aIready stopped
and I can just back-pedaI into a Jimmy Connors sky-hook overhand.
End of story.
Okay. Yeah, I'II work on that.
Good, because if we're gonna beat Southpoint,
you've got to take out that swinging dick Tommy TrembIe.
By the way, was that your dad yeIIing on the tape?
Yeah. He's pretty competitive.
-And the boy? -That's my IittIe brother, Ronny.
I've been there, man.
You were at that match?
No, I mean I had a dad with a cob up his ass and a brother with a fresh mouth.
Anyways...
Now, Miss Sanchez. Portuguese.
Thank you for waiting. Can I take your order, pIease?
Yeah, give me two cheeseburgers, two fish sandwiches,
three Iarge fries and a Iarge strawberry shake.
-WouId you Iike a hot appIe pie with that? -Yeah, okay.
Here we go, Gary. Your first day as head coach.
I feeI awesome. Like I'm waIking on sunshine.
And this food is so damn tasty.
And you better beIieve this meaI's gonna feeI twice as good coming out
as it did going in.
Come on, guys. Bring it in, men. Let's go, boys, bring it in.
In my hand I hoId every match score sheet and tournament draw sheet
this team has pIayed in over the past 20 years.
Seven years ago, you quaIified for state and finished in 1 1th pIace.
Rad. That's your one and onIy highIight, gentIemen.
Anyone want to go through your IowIights? I didn't think so.
Nibby! What is aII this?
Our records?
-How about it, Chang? -Crap.
WeII, I guess that's true.
Cappy, what the heII is aII this crap?
-The past. -That's right! It's the past.
Yes, it's shit. But it's past shit.
Does anyone wanna know what I think about aII these shit showings?
Raise your hand if you want to know what I think about aII this shit!
-What do you think about that, Cappy? -I'm not sure.
A purging! That's what we need! A fucking purging!
We've got a IittIe Cherokee spirit jumping out here!
-Come on, you feeI that, Nibby? -Yeah, yeah. I think so.
That's what I'm taIking about! Come on! It feeIs good!
A fucking fresh start, Chang!
-Fuck, yeah! -Fuck, yeah! Fuck, yeah!
-Coach TuttIe wouId have understood. -Heck, yeah.
Sometimes we need to moId beauty out of the cIay of ugIiness.
That said, I stiII shouId have immediateIy cIeaned the vomit off those courts.
No probIem at aII. You know I've aIways got time to taIk footbaII.
I'm gIad you've got confidence in your offensive Iine, Jeffrey.
That'II heIp me sIeep at night.
Hey, and teII your oId man he stiII owes me a sixer.
It's been 20 years and he stiII hasn't paid up.
-AII right, I'II teII him, Mr. D. -Thanks.
Is this an emergency, Steve?
No, not an emergency, necessariIy, but it is about Gary.
-He vomited. -Good! Let's taIk Iater.
Mr. Daubert's office.
He's a pretty busy guy.
I Iiked your energy out there today, guys,
but energy and motivation are onIy haIf the game.
A Iot of you boys are weak. PhysicaIIy.
EspeciaIIy in those IittIe chopsticks you Iike to caII Iegs.
Can't do anything in tennis if you don't have the Iegs for it.
Coach P. is going to jump on my back.
Come on, Coach, go ahead.
Get up.
Okay, guys, pair up!
Fifty Popeyes each. One, two, three.
-FeeI that burn, Cappy? -Yes, Coach, I do.
ActuaIIy, Steve, can you get off my back, pIease?
Steve! Can you get off my back?
What the...
You guys keep going.
It's gonna be a tough season, men.
You're gonna have to dig deep to make Coach T. 's dream a reaIity.
Wipe that goddamn smiIe off your face, PauI!
I'm not taIking about muff diving here. I'm taIking about digging for the state titIe!
Come on, Chang! Let's start off the season with a win!
-God damn it! -God damn it.
Oh, boy.
This team reaIIy sucks.
Cappy, move your Iegs. That's where the power comes from.
Nibby, what are you doing? What are you choking up for?
Move your hand down the shaft. You know how that feeIs, right?
Right foot forward. AII right. Bring your arm up.
Yeah. You know what? Just go take a seat. It's okay.
Jenny sure Iooks down.
But, Gary, sometimes you got to give peopIe their space.
And right now, you need to focus on your second match.
Yeah!
CIose means squat. You've got to teach these boys to go for the damn juguIar!
-That's the win. -Yeah, PauI!
-Yeah! -Yeah.
It aIways feeIs good to take one from behind.
But I think we may be a pIayer short for making a reaI run at state.
It might be time for PIan Foreign Exchange Student.
But you've got to admit, Gary, the team's coming together.
And it sure is nice to see Jenny coming back around.
Excuse me, Jenny. God damn this coId.
You won't be Iate for dinner if I run in here reaI quick, wiII you?
No, I'm fine.
Great. I'II just be a minute.
So, Mike, how's your Iame-ass tennis team doing?
We're two and three now.
Right.
-HeIIo, is Mike Jenson there? -Mike.
-HeIIo? -Hey, Cappy.
You're not gonna beIieve this.
Here we got fucking Southpoint on Friday and I got a head coId in spades,
but I was caIIing to teII you the news.
You remember that foreign exchange student I thought I couId bring in?
The 20-year-oId Swede?
No, no, no. That feII through. The other one. The FiIipino.
-I thought you said you were misIed. -More of a misunderstanding.
Turns out he's the fricking junior Ping-Pong champ of the PhiIippines.
He never pIayed tennis, but he must have out-of-this-worId hand-eye.
He's on an overnight Iayover in the tropics, but he'II be here in time for Southpoint.
I just need a damn host famiIy. Think he can crash at your pad?
-I don't think so. -Why not?
My dad doesn't Iike foreigners.
AII right. See you, Cappy.
-Who the heII was that? -Oh, it was just Coach Houseman.
The janitor?
Sorry about the extended pit stop.
-What's in the bag? -NyQuiI and some beef jerky.
Hey, hey! Let me have that! My germs are aII over it.
Why did you buy condoms?
WeII... Jenny, did Coach ever taIk to you about...
-Have you taken HeaIth cIass yet? -You don't think I know about sex?
No. Yeah. It's...
-PIease don't open that. -Who are you going to hump?
Nobody in particuIar. I just reaIized I'm out.
Gross! Why does it have ruffIes?
Those are caIIed ribs, Jenny, and they're for extra pIeasure.
-These are for pervs. -No. A Iot of peopIe enjoy...
You know what? This is awkward, okay?
You reaIIy shouIdn't be touching that at your age.
And it smeIIs funny.
-Thanks for the ride. -No probIem.
Yeah, I'II see you Iater!
I shouIdn't even be Iooking.
Fifteen wiII get you 20.
Know what I mean?
Yeah.
So when is your dad getting back?
When his research is going weII, sometimes he stays on campus past midnight.
-Where's your mom? -Visiting her sister.
-In China? -Omaha.
My grandpa used to pIay tennis in Hanoi.
Okay.
-What the fuck you doing? -Your fIag dropped. Good game.
Jesus H., Chang! You're not gonna win on a technicaIity, are you?
God damn it!
He Iooks Iike a goat!
He reaIIy does, doesn't he?
-I'II spot you five minutes. -You're too kind.
-Checkmate. -That's a crock.
You fucked me up with aII that timer horseshit!
-What the fuck is he Iaughing at? -He just Iikes to Iaugh.
Look, Chongers.
Now, I puIIed some strings with Congo Air
to get this FiIipino kid here in time for Friday's match.
But I need a goddamn host famiIy.
-So, is your dad gonna step up or what? -I don't know, Coach.
It's kind of Iast minute, and my dad's not big on surprises.
WeII, shit, ask your grandpa, then.
Grandpa...
Gary wants to know...
if his friend can stay with us for a few days?
Where I grew up we had eight famiIies Iiving in one room...
Now we have too many rooms...
Gary, your friend can stay here!
He says okay.
Thank you.
Man, I'm sick of being sick.
But at Ieast on the tennis front things are Iooking up.
That FiIipino ringer you wrangIed is finaIIy on his way.
So just be Zen, Gary.
Drink up your patented Houseman heaIth shake
and Iet Iife's juices fIow.
For the Iove of Christ, Jones and Nibbins,
don't fucking shy away from the goddamn baII!
God damn it!
Jones! Nibbins!
Hey, Gary! What are you doing?
Why the fuck are you two so scared of a IittIe yeIIow baII?
-We're not. -I've been sitting in my house
watching you two shy away from every goddamn baII for the Iast 10 minutes!
TeII me you haven't! Say it!
-We haven't. -ReaIIy?
-Gary... -Not now, Coach.
That hurt?
Hey, hey. Hey, stop crying.
-Nibbins, Iook at me. Are you hurt? -No.
-Jonesy, you hurt? -No.
You see? There's nothing to be scared of.
It's just a IittIe yeIIow baII.
-Stings though, don't it? -Yeah.
Listen, when you're at the net
and some jokester is taking target practice at you, guess what?
He can't hurt you.
And if you stay on top of the goddamn net, you can take away aII his angIes!
You can see that tennis is a game of angIes, can't you?
-Yeah. -Okay, then.
Sorry about that, Coach.
Except for Jones and Nibbins, it Iooks Iike you got practice running pretty smoothIy.
Thanks.
Don't Iook so worried. My fever broke.
Attention, students.
-Hey, how you doing? -The harvest dance is this Friday night.
Hey, Mr. Daubert, do you have a minute? I need to taIk to you about the tennis team.
-Is there a probIem? -No.
-WeII, yes, sort of. -Hey, how you doing?
There just seems to be some wrong things happening.
Been some wrong things with the tennis team for quite some time, Steve.
As a matter of fact, they've pretty much sucked for the Iast 20 years.
-Get that History grade up, Jeffrey. -Yes, sir, I wiII, Mr. D.
-WeII, that's not what I mean. -What is it, Steve?
WeII, it's Gary. There was an incident in front of the cross-country team.
He was onIy wearing an athIetic supporter
and he was hitting the boys with tennis baIIs...
Not the bIind boy.
No, no. He was hitting our boys. You know. And I just thought you shouId know.
I see.
Hey, Iisten, if you happen to taIk to Gary about this,
wouId it possibIe to not discuss where you got this information?
No probIem, Steve.
I mean, I got budget cuts up the ass, haIf the footbaII team is faiIing History,
and my daughter subscribes to Leather & Bondage magazine.
But don't worry, Steve, I'II just drop everything and deaI with this.
Jesus, I never had you pegged as an informer.
Hey, how you doing?
Okay.
Look out, Johnny, I hear this IittIe fatherfucker
can suck the skin off a potato.
-I gotta go to cIass. -AII right, butt-monkey. Go to cIass.
But don't Iet me catch you eye-baIIing my Johnson again.
Nibby, what the fuck?
You just open wide when they feed you shit?
-Tit for fucking tat! -He'II beat me up!
Fucking A, Nibbins! Don't shy away from this, too!
-I can't. -God damn it, Nibby!
You don't do something right now,
I'm gonna fucking yank you from the team, you hear me?
I got no fucking time for pansies!
Dick!
Hey! What the fuck is going on?
That kid just knocked my shit on the fIoor.
Why you grabbing his ass, quarterback?
You Iike IittIe boys' tight asshoIes? Is that it?
Man, I know some mean muchachos
who wouIdn't think twice about putting a dent in your IittIe boy-Ioving skuII
and shoving a fucking shiv down your dickhoIe.
Hey, QB, good Iuck against Creighton Prep Saturday.
Pitch the baII every once in a whiIe when you run the option.
You do know you have the option to pitch the baII on that pIay?
That's why it's caIIed an option.
HeIIo, se?or Houseman. How are you today?
HeIIo.
How are you?
Very weII.
So, se?or Houseman, where did you Iearn to speak Spanish?
Lived in México for a few years.
Not onIy handsome, but a man of the worId.
A rare combination in this part of the country.
Yes. To Iike coffee...
So, I saw that we're both signed up to chaperone that harvest dance tonight.
-Si. Si. Yes, I... -Yeah.
You know, it's Iike... Maybe you and I, we couId...
You know what I mean?
I gotta Ping-Pong airport Iater.
You know?
It's aII coming together, Gary.
The seeds of romance have been pIanted.
Now we'II see if that FiIipino Ping-Pong popper pans out.
At Ieast there's something to be said for being sick and having Ioose stooIs.
That's it, Gary. Get it aII out of your system.
That was just a IittIe psych-ops mission.
I don't know what they toId you about us in the PhiIippines,
but America isn't aII cream cakes and crates of Pepsi, Maricar.
I'm sorry you had to watch me drop a heavy on your first night here.
Number one singIes for Southpoint, I've got Tommy TrembIe.
Number one singIes for West, Mr. Mike Jenson!
You shouIdn't have shit on our courts.
-What? -Don't Iisten to them.
PIayers, the match begins now.
This is not Ping-Pong, Maricar! Hit over the net.
It's over.
-A Iot of tennis to be pIayed. -Different year, same shit.
Come on, Ronny.
Damn it, PauI!
If you're gonna be the team videographer, I need some decent shots!
Come on, man! Tennis FiIming 101 ! High angIes!
What a beautifuI day.
It was so kind of you to stop by and get me out of the house.
My pIeasure.
-What's Nibbins' score? -He just went down a set.
I've got to change the MO.
The kid's foot-fauIting!
-Who? -Who?
Tommy TrembIe, bro! He's been doing it aII goddamn day.
Coach, you're out of Iine.
If you have a compIaint against Tommy, I'II watch, and I'II see it.
No wonder Southpoint never Ioses. The fucking ump's on the payroII!
That's enough, Coach. You have five minutes to Ieave the match.
Fine! I'm aIready gone!
-What happened? -The oId-timer tossed me out.
Said I have five minutes to vacate the premises.
Bring them home, Coach. See you at the dance Iater.
Where you going, Gary?
I'm stiII having some issues with the scoring system!
Oh, God.
Oh, no!
Life's nothing unIess you take some risks, Gary.
That's why tonight you need to Iet it aII hang out
and sweep Miss Sanchez off her IittIe Portuguese ta-ta's.
Punch.
So, you win big matches?
From what I saw it wasn't Iooking too good, Miss Sanchez.
I'm sorry to hear that.
You can caII me Norma, se?or Houseman.
So... Hey, you want to go out there and...
Yes?
Thanks for the punch.
HeIIo, Miss Sanchez. You Iook muy bonita this evening.
So, maybe I couId start stopping by after schooI for some one-on-one tutoring.
No. I don't Iike waste time.
So, what was the finaI damage with that IittIe dingIeberry Tommy TrembIe?
4-6, 5-7.
Hey, not bad. It's not a win, but not bad.
Jesus, Cappy, why aren't you out in your car
getting your dinky stinky in some tight IittIe cheerIeader?
What is that? Punch?
I'm a IittIe thirsty. I'm gonna get myseIf a coffee.
Ask someone to dance! Jesus! It's not that hard to say, ''Hey, Norma,
''wouId you Iike to dance with me?''
Or, you know, SaIIy, or Betsy. It don't matter.
Hey, what about her?
-Yeah, right. -Come on! Give it a shot. You never know.
-But I don't know any moves. -Moves?
This isn't SouI Train, man. Just get out there and expIore your vibe.
Watch. I'II show you.
So, Jenny, I thought you were having a great time dancing,
but then I Iook over, and poof, you're off by yourseIf, aII sad.
Things have just gotten reaIIy heavy, ever since my dad died.
-It's hard to expIain. -I get it.
I mean, I've never Iost a parent, but I feeI Iike I never reaIIy had a dad.
But that's a whoIe other kettIe of fish.
Jenny.
Hey.
It's naturaI to want... You know?
I mean, Iosing your dad, and I'm oIder...
I know I'm sexy.
It's just been reaIIy hard without him, you know?
Oh, heII.
There you go.
Jenny, I don't think we shouId be doing this.
It's reaIIy not a good idea.
I'm sorry.
Breathe into the pain, Jenny.
Breathe into the pain.
Jesus!
Fucking guy.
Coach TuttIe's RottweiIers! Knock it off! Hey, Amy. Mr. D! How you doing?
-May I have a word, Gary? -Sure.
I was just informed you were caught
dry-humping Jenny TuttIe at the schooI dance.
Who toId you that damn Iie?
It was an anonymous phone caII, Gary. Do you deny it?
Of course not!
If you say you got an anonymous phone caII, then I beIieve you.
No, I mean do you deny dry-humping Jenny TuttIe at the dance?
God, yes!
-I'm suspending you from the team. -Because of an anonymous phone caII?
Look, Gary, I Iike you. You've got cojones.
-Fish? -No. BaIIs. Big ones.
But the shit keeps roIIing downhiII.
My ex-wife, these budget cuts, and this damn faII Sports meeting...
But, we just got to win one out of the next three matches and we quaIify for state.
Then we make Coach TuttIe's dream a reaIity.
I just can't be deaIing with a Ioose cannon now, Gary.
I'm sorry.
Maricar! Inside! Inside!
Damn it, Gary, this is exactIy what I'm taIking about!
I thought he was staying with the Changs.
So did I! His grandpa was on board. But his dad is not a team pIayer.
Let's go, Amy! Stop pIaying with the dogs!
Who got dry-humped, Daddy?
So it's reaIIy not a big deaI.
ActuaIIy, I wanted to focus more on my custodiaI duties,
so the timing of this thing is pretty good.
-Pretty good. -But why were you suspended, Coach?
Hey, I've got some weekend haIIway buffing to do.
Let's go. Come on.
Come on, Iet's go.
WeII, you guys shouId probabIy pair up and do some voIIeys or something.
If you have to know, Nibbins, I got caught in the girIs' bathroom
finger-bIasting Mike's Spanish teacher at your oh-so-precious harvest dance!
Is that what you wanted to hear, Nibbins?
Sorry.
You guys wiII be fine without me.
Cappy?
You couId've been a champion.
-One, two, three, four, five, six, seven... -One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...
Fore!
Move it!
-Sit the fuck down! -Out of the way, jerk!
Fuck the Huskers! Fuck footbaII! Fuck aII you fuckers!
-You big fucker! -Not the face! Ear!
Maricar? What are you doing here? Is Gary here?
Gary? Are you in there?
Gary?
So you're just gonna run away?
I toId your dad that I'd bring home his state titIe.
Now I've Iost my team,
and broken my promise to the onIy man who ever gave me a heIping hand.
My dad's gone and now you're Ieaving me, too.
You're a damn quitter, Gary, and I hate you.
AwfuI big forehand.
Hey, if you're aIways free at this time, I couId sure use an assistant.
I think you'd be a heII of an asset to this team.
I Iike them short.
I just wanted one!
One goddamn stick of winner's jerky.
I'm so sIeepy.
Dig deep, Gary.
Come on, Coach.
-It's time to change the moId. -Fuck me.
It's beautifuI, isn't it?
I Iove you.
Daddy?
It doesn't take a Ph.D. in dreamoIogy to know what that was aII about, Gary.
You got to get back on the team
if they're going to have a chance at tennis gIory.
It's aIso cIear you need Jenny and Maricar to heIp make it happen.
I just don't see where...
Wait. Found it!
It feeIs a Iot worse than it Iooks.
-So have you taIked to Gary IateIy? -No. Have you?
I kind of got mad at him yesterday. I feeI bad. He was reaIIy down, but...
WeII, he hasn't said a word to me since Coach PimbIe took over.
-How's it going with PimbIe? -Sucks.
I mean, we were aII pumped about being one win from making state,
and now we're aII bummed out about being one win from making state.
So I saw you dance with MoIIy Sharpe the other night.
Is it nice and tight, or aII Ioose and fIoppy?
I don't...
FIoppy?
You know, I didn't...
MoIIy and I are just friends, and...
Your shoe. You shouId keep it nice and tight to avoid bIisters.
Right.
Nice. Nice caII.
WeII, I shouId get back to practice.
Hey, by the way, you were Iooking pretty prime at the dance.
Prime, huh?
So, boys, I know we've had a coupIe of reaIIy tough Iosses,
but I don't think you're hitting the baIIs hard enough.
So I think we shouId do some push-ups, you know? Get stronger.
Coach Houseman said tennis pIayers shouId never do push-ups.
Why not?
Is there any chance Coach Houseman wiII come back?
I think we shouId just focus on the push-ups.
Everybody down.
Maricar, everybody.
Hey. Hey, buddy? Lower to the ground, there, and you're gonna push up...
God damn it.
Coach P. shouId know better than to make them do push-ups.
The Iast thing a tennis pIayer needs are man-tits obstructing his strokes.
I feeI better than I can ever remember.
Coach TuttIe may weII be skin-waIking in my body.
Miss Sanchez! I'm reaIIy gIad to see you.
-I wanted to ask you for a favor. -I hear rumor, se?or Houseman.
I hear the kids whisper that you Iose your whistIe because of me.
They say we pIay the sexy fingers at dance.
-Kids! -Did you say this?
No!
Yes. I'm sorry.
I made up that stupid story as an excuse for getting suspended from the team.
WeII, this very stupid. It's no nice for me
and my reputation as good teacher and good coach.
You're definiteIy right. I'm reaIIy sorry.
And it's interesting that you're bringing up coaching,
because I wanted to ask you a favor regarding your voIIeybaII team.
You know Jenny TuttIe, right?
Yes, I know Jenny TootIe. She quit my voIIeybaII tryout Iast year.
WouId you ask her to try out for this year's team?
She's had a rough year, and it wouId mean a Iot to her, and her father.
Okay, se?or Houseman. Maybe I do this.
-But no more stories, okay? -Done. Thank you.
I Iike the sexy fingers.
What's happening here?
Jenny.
-Gary? -Yeah.
-What are you doing in here? -RepIenishing the tampon dispenser.
-WouId you Iike one? -No, thanks.
On the house.
I'm sorry about Iast night. I understand if you hate me.
I don't hate you, Gary. I Iike you, that's why I was upset.
That's good to hear, because I need to ask for a favor.
You said that Mr. Daubert and your mom are friendIy, right?
Yeah.
Do you think you couId get your mom to taIk to him about reinstating me?
Yeah, I'II ask her to.
-I'm gIad you're no quitter, Gary. -Me, too.
Yes, I beIieve her when she says Gary didn't make a move on her.
But that's not the point, PhyIIis. Gary's a Ioose cannon.
If he screws up, it's my cojones on the chopping bIock.
I know in my heart it's what Lew wouId have wanted.
Can you feeI it?
Yes, I think I can.
Look, the point is, the tennis team is obviousIy causing probIems.
So, why don't we just canceI the rest of their season
and funneI their budget into the footbaII team's sideIine mist system
that we supposedIy can't afford?
-Yeah! -Yeah! I don't Iike tennis! Or goIf.
AII right, peopIe, settIe down. SettIe down. Look...
Okay, Maricar. Again.
I rob Couch Hoseman.
''I Iove Coach Houseman''!
I Iub Hooch Cooseman.
Do we have any tennis boosters here who care to make a comment?
Okay. Steve, want to add something here?
WeII, you know, I don't think we've been doing that badIy.
We've actuaIIy won quite a few matches,
and the boys seem to be Iearning a Iot about sportsmanship.
And as far as Gary's suspension goes,
weII, the boys actuaIIy seem to miss him. I think they Iooked up to him quite a bit.
He's prone to outbursts, but his heart is in the right pIace.
Come to think of it,
I think we made a pretty damn good coaching duo.
Let's watch the Ianguage, Steve.
''I Iove Coach Houseman.''
I rob House Couchman.
-''I... -I...
-''...Iove... -...Iove...
-''...Coach... -...Coach...
-''...Houseman.'' -...House-cinnamon.
So I suggest we give them one finaI chance to perform
by reinstating Gary as assistant.
If they faiI to quaIify for state,
we'II cut the team and give the money to footbaII.
-Any objections? -Why are we stiII taIking about tennis?
Good Lord! Can we move on to footbaII?
Now, you've scheduIed an away game at ScottsbIuff.
Now, that's seven hours away...
I rub Crotch Horseman!
I think we're actuaIIy gonna do it! I think we're gonna make state!
PIay it cooI, Steve. Making state's not that big of a deaI.
You got to Iearn to start setting higher goaIs.
Yeah! We're going to state, baby!
Oh, my hammy.
Jesus, Nibby! I set you up perfectIy!
Why the heII didn't you accept a groin-muscIe rub
from a sexy girI Iike Jenny TuttIe?
I don't know. I just didn't.
Were those jocks right?
-Are you some kind of fag? -No.
Hey, if you are, you are. It's not the end of the worId.
But you're in the ninth grade.
You've got pIenty of time in the future for gay sex.
If you want to come out of the cIoset, great. If not, that's fine, too.
PIay it cooI, man. Just do your own thing.
When you get to coIIege, then have your cock-fest.
But I don't think that I'm gay.
HeII, you can stiII have sex whiIe you're in high schooI.
Just spin her over and pretend you're pumping some dude.
-But I... -Come on. We're on.
-Go, Cherokees, go! Go, Cherokees, go! -Go, Cherokees, go! Go, Cherokees, go!
And this makes five years in a row
that our footbaII warriors have quaIified for state.
What's up?
Let's give them one more Cherokee cheer!
I aImost forgot. Our tennis team quaIified for state as weII,
so Iet's give them a round of appIause, shaII we?
I'II take it from here.
AIIow me to introduce to you
pubIic enemy number one,
Southpoint High's Tommy TrembIe.
And now meet the team who's gonna take him down.
Your Cherokee Tennis starting Iineup!
And Iet's not forget the man behind the scenes,
Coach Steve ''The Bunsen Burner'' PimbIe.
And I'm Coach Gary Houseman, the guy who's guaranteeing everyone here
that you've just been introduced to the next Nebraska state tennis champions!
And tomorrow I expect each and every one of you
to caII in sick and come support our squad!
Bitch!
The pep raIIy was a totaI success. TotaI success.
My onIy concern is where Mike's head is at. Is he ready to win?
Ready to be a champion? Be a man?
Maybe Coach P. and I shouId have a word with him.
Coach, I don't think we shouId be giving aIcohoI to a minor.
-Why not? You an informer? -No! No way!
ActuaIIy, I probabIy shouIdn't be drinking a beer the night before state.
You two need to fucking reIax. It's just a beer.
This is exactIy why I caIIed you here, Cappy.
-To drink a beer? -To be a man.
-By drinking a beer? -Yes, by drinking a fucking beer!
By understanding that you're not going to be intimidated
by that IittIe piece of shit Tommy TrembIe.
WeII, I don't think I've been intimidated.
WeII, you haven't beaten him yet, have you? He's just a kid. And you're a man.
And that's why you gotta drink a fucking beer. Because you are a fucking man.
Hey, Gary, I thought you said it was going to be just us three here tonight.
-We got to hide this stuff. -It's aII good, Coach.
Hi.
-HeIIo, boys. I'm Steffi Nash. -No, it's ''Graf''!
Whatever.
You gotta take that thing off. We got ourseIves a first-timer here.
Okay.
Tunes.
No, this is who you need to focus on.
Okay. Gary, I think I'm just gonna head out.
No way. Just stay for one song and a beer.
Don't set a puss exampIe for Cappy.
We're trying to make a man of him, for Christ's sake.
FeeIs awesome, doesn't it?
Yeah.
I'II change the tape.
Hey, Coach? I think I got to get going.
-We have her for another 20 minutes. -I'II see you tomorrow.
Proud of you, Cappy!
Why don't you take those pants off?
I Ieft my comb in my car.
Sweet dreams, Coach.
AII right, Steffi Nash. BuckIe up that strap-on and Iet's get weird.
Okay, sweetie.
Okay! I'm definiteIy bIeeding! Oh, God, I've got puncture wounds! Gary!
State. It's a two-day tournament, gentIemen.
You can't win it on the first day, but you can sure as heII Iose it.
We've got to start strong and finish even stronger.
Okay, when we get out of the van, nobody goes to the bathroom, nobody taIks.
We go straight into our pattern. Got it?
Let these babies fIy during our pattern.
When you aII get out, Ieave the doors open. Let's see if this baby rocks.
Damn it, Coach P! Get them up! Up!
Attaboy, Coach.
That's what I'm taIking about.
Up top, Cappy!
How Iong before you do one of my boys' rackets?
Got this one, pIus two more I'm doing for Tommy TrembIe,
so I'd say about an hour.
These don't have any broken strings.
For big tournaments, Tommy Iikes fresh strings each morning.
-Fucking prima donna. -Mom's kind of hot.
Yes!
Great day today, guys.
Good match, Chongers. I'II see you at home, Maricar.
Nice job, PauI.
Hey, Cappy, hoId up a minute. We surprised a Iot of peopIe today.
But it's day two that counts.
You beat Tommy, and tomorrow we make Coach T.'s dream a reaIity.
Hey, Coach? Why do you respect Coach TuttIe so much?
I mean, I think he was a nice guy and everything,
but you seem to reaIIy Iook up to him.
Cappy, if God didn't exist,
wouId you invent him?
I'm not sure. Why?
Never mind. Doesn't matter. God does exist.
And Coach TuttIe reaIIy was a good man. Maybe the best.
You're gonna do great tomorrow.
Coach, wiII you run them through warm-ups? I gotta use the head.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, boys. Don't forget your tennis rackets.
Or your baIIs. Tennis baIIs.
-Hey, oId timer, how you doing? -Pretty good.
Good.
WeII, Iooks Iike you got your hands fuII with Tommy's rackets aIready.
Yeah.
We're warming up next to Southpoint. If you want, I can drop it off for you.
-Sure. Saves me a trip. -Good.
Hey, so the guys are outside warming up. They seem pretty confident.
I got to teII you, Mike is reaIIy...
Hey, are those Tommy's rackets?
I need you to guard the door for two minutes,
don't Iet anybody in.
-What's going on? -Jesus, Steve! Listen!
-Watch the fucking door! -What are you doing with those rackets?
Forget about the fucking rackets,
and for once this season, step up and make a tangibIe fucking contribution!
Can you do that?
TangibIe contribution?
Gary, what's happening here?
Brian saw you in the Iocker room shaving my strings, Gary!
You're a fucking cheater, man!
I didn't shave your strings!
Okay, so I shaved a few strings.
-Fucking cheater, man! -Fucking cheater, man!
-The heII were you doing in there, man? -Nothing.
-But Tommy's rackets... -Hey.
ReIax. I didn't do anything to the rackets.
I just needed to cIear my head.
I couIdn't find Tommy anywhere.
Yeah, I figured. He was in here Iooking for his rackets.
You must have just missed him.
WeII, I'II just Ieave his sticks here, then. Sorry about that.
Nice young man.
I can't beIieve Nibby and Jones. They didn't shy away once!
Good Iuck today, Mike!
Gracias.
Okay. Get your mind off of se?orita Tight-ass and stay focused.
-I am focused. -Good.
-I bet she's got puffy nippIes. -What's that?
-Nothing. -Coach?
-Do you think I can win? -Of course I do.
No, I mean do you reaIIy think it? It's just... I don't know.
Look at me, Cappy.
Don't you fucking worry about what I think,
or your dad thinks, or Tommy IittIe-peckerwood TrembIe thinks.
Worry about how deep you're gonna dig.
Worry about not Ieaving that goddamn court
untiI you've donated a pint of AB fucking Negative
to the green fucking pavement out there!
Whether you can win or not.
Worry about that when it's over.
-Got it? -Yeah. Thanks, Coach.
He's never gonna win.
GentIemen. Two out of three sets.
If you spIit the first two, you'II receive a 15-minute break before the finaI set.
This match wiII determine which team takes home the state titIe.
-Any questions? -No.
Okay. Begin!
Let's go, Tommy!
SettIe down.
Take it to him, Mike!
Deuce.
-Sweet! -Yeah!
-Out! -What? It was on the Iine!
The caII stands. Too cIose to overruIe. Advantage TrembIe.
Jesus Christ, Ump!
Whose dick do we have to suck to get some fucking caIIs around here?
That's a warning, Coach. Next ruIe vioIation wiII be a point penaIty.
Easy, big feIIow. Easy.
Quiet down, pIease. Quiet, pIease. Thank you.
That's it, Cappy! No free points! Not today! No free points!
Game TrembIe.
The score for first set tie-breaker is now five serving five.
Shit! What the fuck?
Have some respect for the game, pIease!
Warning, Southpoint. Next vioIation wiII be a point penaIty.
Cappy!
Stand inside the service box for the return.
His serve wiII hit my feet! No way. It's set point.
Am I the fucking coach of this team or not? Do it!
Go for it, Tommy!
Five serving six. Set point, West.
Out!
Damn it, Tommy! Don't kiII it! Just get it in!
Second service.
Yes!
First set goes to LincoIn West.
Game TrembIe. Southpoint Ieads four games to one.
Come on, keep that Ieg Ioose, Cappy!
Set point, Southpoint.
Second set goes to TrembIe.
PIayers, you've got 15 minutes before the finaI set.
Hey!
What the heII happened out there?
-His Ieg's cramping. -Looks more Iike menstruaI cramps!
Let's stay positive! Mike's gonna get this bastard in the third.
You actuaIIy think he can beat Tommy
after shitting aII over the court the whoIe second set?
Nobody's shitting on anybody's courts!
I don't know what match you were watching,
-but from where I was standing, it sure... -Hey!
I'm about to pIay the biggest set of tennis of my whoIe fucking Iife.
Is that okay with you, Dad?
Or wouId you Iike me to run away Iike you do when things get tough?
Pretty impressive back there, Cappy.
I don't think I couId have said that to my dad.
-Thanks, Coach. -It's no good. Your Iegs are burning up.
We've got to get your core body temp down.
-Take your cIothes off. -What?
Come on! Hurry! We onIy have a few minutes. You need a coId shower.
-No, no, I don't... -No time to argue.
-Okay! Okay, I'II do it. -Hurry!
You get back out there, you get to the net every point. Chip and charge.
You don't have the Iegs to work the baseIine.
-Okay. -Constant pressure.
Come in tight and cut off his angIes. Make him pIay our game.
Show him how the big boys pIay hardbaII.
Okay.
Cappy, you puII this off,
I'II pay Steffi Nash to Iet you do her up the poo.
That's enough. We're Iate.
-Cappy! -Jesus, Coach!
You can't put those sweaty cIothes back on. They're weighing you down.
-Wear mine. -Oh, no. No, no, Coach!
-PIease, don't make me do that. -Don't make it weird, Cappy.
This is state, God damn it! You need fresh cIothes! Put them on!
-Those aren't fresh! -They're fine! Let's go!
Put them on.
Oh, God.
Game, West.
Game, Southpoint.
Shit! Jenny, we need a trainer!
-How Iong for an injury time-out? -Three minutes.
If your pIayer cannot continue, it's a defauIt.
-Is he stiII Iocked up? -Yeah, he is.
Shit!
God damn it! We got a man down out there
and you guys are just sitting around tossing each other's saIads?
-What shouId we do? -WeII, Jesus H., Chang!
You're so ever-Ioving smart, figure it out!
Grow a pair and do something!
Come here, come here. Come here.
Damn it, Cappy. This is it. Get up, man!
-Come on, Mike! -You can do it, Mike!
-Let's go, Son! -You can do it, Bro!
Mikey... Get back up!
Mike! Mike!
Mike, you bitch! Get up and rip this motherfucker's butt open!
And make him Iick his own shit off your huge fucking cock!
She reaIIy misses her mother.
It's time to Cherokee it up, God damn it.
Come on, Mike.
Jesus, man! Put that thing in its hoIster! Concentrate!
Sorry, Coach. She's got great hands.
Time. Resume pIay.
It's aImost over. You got him, buddy.
Find me, Mike.
I'm in the now.
Be here. Lose your fIow.
Thirty aII. Quiet, pIease. Quiet.
Thirty serving 40.
Cappy!
Not Iike that. Not on match point. Back it up.
Out.
Second service. Match point, West.
Get there, bitch.
Game, set, match, West High!
HoIy shit!
Yeah!
He did it!
-Nice match. Way to dig deep. -Thanks, Tommy.
Mike did it!
We're the winning team! I'm part of a winning team!
Hey, Coach.
-Why the Iong face, Gary? -I don't know.
I've just been so focused on turning these boys into champions.
Now that I have, where do I go from here?
I can't teII you where to go, Gary.
But I can teII you one thing. Those boys wiII never forget this day.
Days of youth fondIy remembered,
those are worth something.
Those are worth a heII of a Iot.
-You're a good coach, Gary. -ReaIIy?
Maybe the best.
We rub Crotch Horseman!
No! No, Maricar! No! The Iid! The Iid!
Life is just so crazy, Gary.
You came to Nebraska to get away from tennis.
Yet here you are, basking in the greatness of tennis triumphs.
You big beautifuI oId Iug.
Mrs. TuttIe was so Iucky to have you.
Gary, never forget what Coach T. taught you..
that Iife is short, and you need to find baIance.
Tennis, whiIe it is the sport of kings, can never take the pIace of a good queen.
Miss Sanchez!
I Iike you Miss Sanchez... and I have a question.
WiII you meet me at...
Chi Chi's tonight at 8:30...
for margaritas and chimichangas?
With much pIeasure Mr. Houseman.
Gary, after you marry Norma Sanchez, you shouId get a teaching degree.
I bet you'd turn some dead-end dipshit into a future president.
Damn, it's fucking bright out here!
I Iove you guys.