Yeah, baby!
Hi, I'm Dixie. Dixie Normous.
I'm just an FBI agent in a small town, a single mother who was injured.
But I'm still a criminal... and sexy.
Alright...
We do it now or later?
Oh Austin... in action.
Hey Powers!
You better see your weirdness.
Because I am a doctor who will make a call home.
Really, Mini-Me?
Hey, jerk!
I'm here, I'm Mine-Me. Come and catch me!
- And cut! - Stop everything.
So, Austin, what about the opening of the film?
I can't believe Mr. Steven Spielberg, this is the most interesting filmmaking
- in the film history of my life.
Very exciting, yeah!
With that, I have an idea.
Really? My friend here says everything is fine...
Don't get me wrong Stevie, but you have to meet Mojo baby, yeah!
Shake it!
Ladies and gentlemen.
Mr. Quincy Jones.
This is where the film aired by Mojo, baby.
All right, everyone. Music video, take 2.
That's Britney Spears!
Oops. I do it again, baby.
Welcome to the Doctor.
How are you in space?
Space is fine, right Mini-Me?
Doctor Evil, when you're in space.
I found a way for us to make a lot of legitimate money.
And still maintaining corporate ethical practices -
- Evil Organization (Crime).
- I have turned it into a talented agency. The Hollywood Talent Agency. - Is it true?
By allowing customers to register A-9% more than the traditional 10%.
We have got the signatures of several stars like George Clooney - Julia Roberts.
And Leo DiCaprio.
Leo!
And the best part of this whole plan is, -
- We will get each assistant.
Hi, I'm Number 3.
I'm very happy to be part of the team, here at HTA.
Very impressive, Number 2, -
- but I already have a good plan.
In the 70s, there lived a pagan Dutchman who was a metal expert, -
- named Johann Van Der Smut.
He really likes gold, even he lost his genitals during an accident in smelting.
So that's the name... Goldmember.
He has found a power of cold smelting for... "Tractorbeam".
"Tractorbeam"
A very strong force to attract meteors to the earth.
The meteor is called... "Midas 22".
it's created from solid gold... does he sleep?
It's okay. I think Mini-Me doesn't want anymore, CHOCOLATE!
Do you want to go down Mini-Me? Talk like a cloned boy.
She's fine!
This is the chocolate. from Brugge. that's in Belgium, where you came from.
Check Mini-Me.
He went crazy with chocolate candy.
it's like a strange brown tree.
- Your chair, Dr. Evil. - Thank you.
Scedadum, fine.
When you have children, I think you will know that all children are different huh?
For example: Mini-Me likes chocolate.
Scotty don't!
I like chocolate, normal, I'm just...
Scotty don't!
Oh yeah, very familiar, wait, let me do what I do. can you stop...
What about me 'What'?
What are you...
I'm not...
To be honest, isn't this...
What if you... don't do Scotty.
Dr. Evil, maybe it's time, for you to end the opening of your plan.
Yes, thank you Number 2.
Ladies and gentlemen, my plan is...
Scotty don't.
Oh, come on, you're like a jerk!
Do you know? This caused me to experience a mental disorder!
I don't know. Who am I?
Good. You know? I like chocolate.
- This. - Thank you.
Stupid Mini-Me!
Come on!
Are you ok, Mini-Me?
Am I pulling it too strong? I don't want to hurt you.
- Dr. Evil. - Yo?
What is the Goldmember plan that we have to do?
Our initial trial of the tractorbeam has undergone some preparation.
Preparation of A to G we really failed.
But now gentlemen, we finally have a tractorbeam that works.
What we call "Preparation H".
What?
Why don't you just say "Butt-Cream Operation (Ice cream)", jerk?
Sorry, do you want ice cream?
Yes, I like ass (butt) -cream chocolate.
Maybe later.
Dr. Evil, I like your plan.
Ja, Herr Doctor, that's a very good plan.
Yes, Frau, all in all, I think Preparation H is good.
What's more now?
None. Do you know? I agree...
Preparation for H feels good.
Inside the hole.
I'm glad you said the same.
Gentlemen. Using a time machine I will be back in 1975.
Pick up Goldmember and bring it to the future.
And the best part of this plan is...
Nobody can stop me.
Even... Austin Powers.
Not so fast.
You're arrested Dr. Evil.
Damn it!
Dr. Evil, the world court sentenced you to 400 years.
Is there something you want to say?
No, but I think Mini-Me exists.
like two egg seeds and a lump.
The intelligence of intelligence known as, Dr. Evil and cloning -
has been sentenced today in a world court.
Top results of business, Austin Powers, -
- son of a famous British spy, Nigel Powers.
Will be appointed as a knight by the Queen in Buckingham Palace.
Stand up, Mr. Austin Powers.
Thank you, Your Majesty.
Your father must be very proud of you.
Oh, yeah.
Come here, stand up and bow your head.
"Father is not there" Peace!
I am a sexy wild animal.
That's Austin Powers, you're really funny.
Also very sexy.
Can I ask for a signature?
Of course, your name?
Fook Mi.
Oh, in action, baby. So your name?
Fook Mi.
Did you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Fook Mi, like this.
Oh I know.
Your name is Fook Mi.
Want to drink?
Yes, but I have a pubic shaft in the back, if you prefer to use...
This is it.
Fook Mi! Very fast!
Fook Yu.
Oh, you're right back and forth and I don't care who knows!
Austin.
This is my twin brother, his name, Fook Yu. Fook Yu... Fook Mi.
Twin...
We will witness twins.
I also think Austin Powers is very sexy.
We think you're great.
Do we make you sleepy?
You make me many things, but sleepy, no.
- we give you a very secret massage. - Yes, secret massage, baby!
Sorry, I swear, that won't happen again.
Hold for a while.
Okay, where are we, baby?
Ah, Austin. Sorry I was bothering.
Twins, Basil. Twins...
Austin, it's about your father.
- What? - He was kidnapped.
Very heavy, man. Oh, my father's refusal was not present at the coronation.
No, actually.
He was kidnapped after you were crowned.
He was last seen on his ship.
Oh, yes. The "HMS in action at sea". - Exactly, try to see.
Gentlemen gather.
Austin, these people have been shown to look after your father.
Okay, kids, open your pants.
I think we have found a clue.
sparkles! All of your pubes are painted Gold. Very magical.
Great, lots of gold, gold marriages, 14-carat snake pants...
- Enough. - Okay.
Basil, there is only one person in the world, -
- who really understands the psychology of crazy people...
- Dr. Evil. - Dr. Evil.
I expected you, Mr. Powers.
My father is gone.
Yes, I have heard. Very ironic.
You finally caught me, now you still need me again.
Then again, you always need me, right, Mr. Powers?
Remember when I told you, we are not so different you and me?
We are not so different between you and me.
- Look, I've said that. - Very clever.
Where is my father now?
Oh, oh... someone has his father's problem.
No one can be my father from the truth.
- You said my father. - Not.
No...
For me this is a father's problem.
He loves me.
It seems that the coronation time isn't the only time Your father disappoints you...
Remember the day at the academy? Think!
That's when graduating.
Yeah, baby, yeah. Did I make you lust, honey?
That's it. Get there a little.
Can you tap the door, man?
- Alright! - We just want to start.
Don't forget, Mr. Powers, about reports of oral sex exams.
When I'm in bridle, it's all oral, and not too... short, baby.
You know, Oral Reports and Exams.
It seems that Master Evil is the main competitor at this year's International Man of Mystery.
She's number one in class.
Hey, everyone, I'm Number 1.
Hello, I'm Number 2.
Senag see you Number 2.
But, now I will be nicknamed the International Man of Mystery this year.
Who throws the cake? Honest?
And now is the time for the biggest award. This year's International Man of Mystery is...
- Austin Powers! - Very good Austin.
It has always been my dream to win this award like my father.
I'm glad he's here.
Stand up and bow your head.
Daddy?
I'm the best quality in class, and I've never been under.
- Here again. - Tell me Mr. Powers.
What did you find in the sailor? Gold Surprise? Maybe?
How can it be... yes... all the sailors and testicles were painted with gold.
Yes, special business cards for this crime brain.
Named with...
Goldmember.
How can I find Goldmember?
Quid pro quo, Mr. Powers.
Yes, squid pro row.
I will give you Goldmember. You give me a permanent prisoner exchange.
So I can be with my dear Mini-Me.
Okay. I will give you an exchange. Now where is Goldmember?
Not 'Where' Mr. Powers, -
- but 'When'.
1975 'Studio 69' Disco. New York City. Corner 69 and 8th.
You leave now, Mr. Powers. Fly away.
I will get it.
With your father hidden in a remote location. Goldmember hiding in 1975.
Our machine has been applied to this car, -
- for time travel to the era of the 70s.
- Smashing, Basil. Car pimps. - Yes, I know it will spark your feelings.
What can I say? See. Coughing...
Here it is, 1975.
Good luck, Austin.
1975, yeah baby, yeah!
Good night, everyone. and welcome to Studio 69.
This is the audience, Goldmember.
Everything, I'm from the Netherlands! Is that weird?
If this isn't Austin Powers.
Sorry?
You have a lot of courage, shake your white ass here.
I can't believe we've met.
This is me Foxxy. Foxxy Cleopatra.
I haven't seen you for a long time.
Stop!
We can't talk to each other. Do you understand?
I use this cat to say.
I understand, it's very smart.
The main thing.
Eight years there is no telephone? Nobody hung Foxxy Cleopatra!
Where are you?
Listen to Foxxy. I just want you to know I never meant to hurt you, baby.
Everything I know is. Mamma only feels honey. But he wants all honeycomb.
- Oh, honeycomb! - You always know to make me smile.
Do you know this is really a blessing, I... What am I doing?
Foxxy, what are you doing in Goldmember?
I'm a secret agent.
About a year ago, my colleague in the office had been killed.
And the Dutchman, Goldmember is the main suspect.
Your father is behind the room -
- under strict supervision.
thank you Foxxy.
Austin, good luck.
Daddy!
Hello kid. I'm defeating these guards.
I'm here to save you. come here fast!
I have a better idea. why don't you save me... approximately seven or eight minutes?
Stop doing that.
I don't want to see me do it. Let's go.
Okay, I'm sorry, girls. I have to...
What's with your neck?
I drank Viagra, then got stuck in my throat and my neck was stiff for 1 hour.
Listen, yeah, if you want to talk about naughty things in front of these American girls.
At least a little use of English.
Alright kid.
I just made love to these beautiful girls
Is that right?
If you are awakened, why don't you try to please yourself?
What, Alone?
Sure.
Remember the krismas dinner with a Scottish girl first?
Oh, the crazy one?
She's the wife of a dancer who lives upstairs.
A lawyer who was a policeman in the truck.
Oh god, that's a good time, kid.
Congratulations datng in 1975, Austin Powers and his father.
Excuse me, when I rotate it makes me sweat.
You know Mr. Powers.
I like gold.
The view, the taste, the smell and the shape...
I really like gold -
- even when I lost my cock -
- at the time of the smelting accident.
That's why my name is... Goldmember.
We both go into fashion, right?
You have a body like a nipple.
Yes, I saw it from your band.
Yes, you are like a tiger nipple!
Do you want (Shmoke) cigarettes and cakes?
What?
Cigarettes and cakes?
You know. flapjack and a cigarette?
Hm? Cigarettes and cakes? Not?
Pipes and Silk? Not?
Bong and blintz?
Oh, there's nothing to please you.
That's not true.
Uh, hello, what do we have here?
This is the skin, huh. Place the dam box.
I'm peeling.
Oh, that's disgusting
Fast, fast, thank you
Take care of myself.
You're crazy Goldmember!
"And that's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it."
K.C. and the Sunshine Band.
Alright, Goldmember. Don't laugh anymore.
There are two things, I can't stand in this world:
People who don't take care of other people's cultures.
And Dutch people.
What?
Bring Austin father.
Dutch haters. And now it's time to say goodbye.
= Command Dr. Evil.
"Which is for you bad news, baby."
Walter Matthau.
Sha-zam! It's up to you Dutch.
Traitor!
Point the weapon at him...
2002!
- They brought my father to the time machine. - What did you say about the machine?
Come on.
This road, baby!
Just about Foxxy, I owe you one.
Austin, I found this in the Goldmember office.
- That's a microfilm maybe a clue. - Hajar.
I want to go to the future with you.
We can catch Goldmember together. I owe my partner.
I have to remind you Foxxy, 2002 is very different.
The future is more ready for me.
Because I'm Foxxy Cleopatra.
And I'm a dream woman!
= 2002, we came!
All visits are limited to five minutes.
Don't spit in the visitor's room.
Herr Doctor. I have some news.
This is your child.
- He wants to take over the family business. - Scotty?
- He started to go bad he started to lose his hair. - I know it's good...
Oh, he just wants to make you proud, Herr Doctor.
After the suma worked hard on the child who did not have the character of his father.
You know. First you're at the pole, then you're in space, then you're in jail.
Don't say he feels in vain.
I was adopted by crazy Belgians.
Are you being adopted?
I never met my parents.
That's an accident in the car.
I was told that it was a beautiful Belgian day.
The smell of cakes and perfume adorns the summer air... until...
My biological mother is burning.
I survived because of the smell of cigarettes -
- forming protection from human assistance.
A Belgian man and his 15-year-old son who love slaves -
- who saw the incident, which was full of blood!
They teach me to be evil. You know, that's an old story.
Ja.
But nothing compares to this.
behind an ugly face, Every night alone...
Daddy is panting, let's go crazy.
Time is up!
When the visit runs out. Out of bounds.
Hands up!
Road!
Hi there. How was your sleep? Good night?
Ladies and gentlemen, listen, everyone.
This is the new plan.
You will start riots.
And we will come out to the door.
Hey man, I know people on guard will make you think more clearly than you.
Really?
So let me put you in this way, 'coz...
Alright, listen! Tonight 8 o'clock you will start riots.
Yes, Dr. Evil!
Attention of all guards. There is ongoing riots.
close all exits!
Attention, Dr. Evil and his clone tried to escape.
All guards report to block A cell immediately...
You are. Good morning, sunshine.
Good morning.
How are you sleeping?
- Great! - Me too.
If these lips can talk.
Oh, hello.
You have the right to stay sexy, baby.
Oh, I wish it was included in the search.
You got a message.
So what did this thing do?
This is called the internet.
It really is a revolution of life and access to important information.
For example, look at this.
- That's important information! - I know it's amazing.
- Oh, Basil, what happened, baby? - Much happens Foxxy.
Dr. Evil escaped.
The good news is that one of our agents has entered the Dr. Evil.
Very good, Basil, we've been trying for a year, to get (Mole = mole) into the nest of Dr. Evil.
- Now we have (Mole = mole). - Yes.
Ah, and here it is.
So, you are...
Mo... mo... mo...
The best agent we have ever met.
Yes, the best agent we have ever met. thanks.
Thank you.
I can't get the exact location.
But I have learned that Dr. Evil has moved to an outdoor nest in Tokyo, Japan.
By the way I realized I had a large mole on my face.
Where? What? Where is the mole? I don't even see it.
I am also aware of the ironic, that I am alone... fix flies.
Nobody wants to connect that relationship.
Anyway... it's great, old boy. Good work.
Happy (to mole you)... meet you!
- Nice to meet you, Mole! Don't say mole. - Stop!
- I said mole. - Stop!
- Bye - Mole!
Mole!
Oh, shut up!
Moley, moley, moley, moley, moley!
Increase the periscope.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to the new submarine nest
Long and hard, and full of Sea People (Semen = Mani Water).
None?
No?
Even a little?
Submarine criminals.
- Dr. Evil, you look like a nipple Yes, like a tiger nipple! Yesh! - Is it true?
Yesh, you're like "macho man".
Village people.
Do you know, Goldmember?
I don't think that should be what friends say to their friends!
Yeah! A little horrible!
Ooh yesh! Yesh yesh! This is the skin!
Okay... you won't put the skin in your mouth, right?
You did it... ok... very real!
Yesh, Salty! Yesh this is delicious!
Ladies and gentlemen.
As we know.
We have designed a "tractorbeam".
With Preparation H. code Very strong to attract a meteor... "Midas 22".
With a clash with Earth, -
- when entering the atmosphere of the Hot Ball Magma.
Which will hit and melt the ice poles, which causes massive flooding.
But it's quite technical with mumbo-jumbonya.
Let me demonstrate it.
Lower the globus.
Lower the global.!
Au, au...
Congratulations you're crazy... -
-you have successfully put me in Jack in the box!
Release, Release! dark ..
I'm fine.
Remove the meteor.
Remove the meteor!
No!
Right in the genitals!
Damn it!
Friend!
Go fuck!
Wait a minute, let me look for my testicles for God's sake!
One, two... and three, okay. I am fine!
Dr. Evil, we still have a luxurious insurance policy.
May I offer you a sexy thing,
Austin Powers Fassia.
What?
Fassia is Dr. Evil.
the Ferder?
- What is ferder? - fassianya! you know, fassia.
Yeah Goldmember, I can't speak strange Dutch.
Okay friend?
Fassia, her father, her father is Fassia.
Oh his father, oh THE FATHER.
Yes, that's just the right accent.
Isn't that strange?
Father, Father.
- Ah, Nigel Powers. - Hello, hello.
Bring him to me!
Relaxing man!
Lower your weapon. Is this your first day of work?
Listen, this is how it is... You attack me once.
And I reply to you with one hit. Okay, start!
Oh, he's great.
Do you know who I am?
Do you know how many people I don't know that I killed in a year?
And look. You don't even have a business card.
You don't have a chance!
Why don't you just drop yourself?
Alright, Dr. Evil gave up, as long as you still have a chance.
Okay, okay. I give up.
Nigel Powers, meet... Mini-Me.
Oh, my goodness. I think I smell cabbage.
Bring him away!
Dr. Evil, can I paint the "yoo-hoo" with gold?
That's my favorite, you know
How about, No, you basic, unclean Dutch Crazy!
Member Attention. this is a healthy week. don't forget to check your body. Dr. Evil.
I think it's really embarrassing the way they take care of you.
Just because you're 1 in 8 meters in size.
Doesn't mean you have the right to get 1 of their 8 honors.
Little friend. I want to know.
Are all of them comparable?
You have dangling items, -
Two testicles.
Yeah, don't be shy, let's see.
God! You have three branches.
What did you feed him? It's like the hand of a baby holding an apple.
The good news. if you are tired.
You can use it as a driver.
I think we are together to know who is the brain behind this operation.
Tokyo, a go go, baby, yeah!
What's impressive, Basil?
Many are impressive, Foxxy.
Austin?
one of the members of Dr. Evil has been placed at the Asahi Sumo Arena.
- That's where it is right away. - thank you, Basil.
Ah, Jesus Christ, this diaper makes my testicles rub.
This starts fiery!
That's Fat Bastard!
Do you know my favorite Helen Hunt movie?
TWISTER!
- That's not true. - Right.
Are we done here? I have to do something.
Wait. Something went wrong.
And I think it's Fat Bastard.
Are you okay, Austin?
I'm fine, baby...
I don't eat corn!
Hey diaper! this is my diaper.
I think I have to replace it soon.
I leave a rose for you.
You really are a fat bastard!
You know, it hurts my heart. I have tried a diet.
Zoan. Road people are enemies.
Oh... who is your friend?
Oh, I want to ride this girl.
Did you find me sexy?
Look at my chest!
Shut your mouth!
Alright, Enough!
- Okay, I give up, put this down, you want? - Okay.
Come here, you!
Oh, my chest!
You give me a nipple!
I caught you now!
Come here, you!
Get ready for a great wire fight!
I hope my wire team will be ready!
Oh, great, isn't this great?
One of my wires broke.
You're arrested, baby!
Okay, Fat Bastard, who are the Japanese people you exchange with?
Alright. his name is Roboto.
He's the owner of Roboto Industries.
He designed a strange plane for Dr. Evil... I don't know...
- The tractorbeam. - The tractorbeam.
That's it.
Listen, do you think crime can be paid?
Well, to be honest, I have tried to leave it.
I really do this sumo seriously.
But when you're overweight when you're little.
when people demand perfection.
Like your true sense, wrong, good and evil.
We will always be tragically sad.
Have you just polluted yourself?
Maybe.
That sounds a little wet, right in the end, uhh...
Let's smell it.
Spread, spread
Everyone likes their own type, right? This is Magic.
Try analysis.
It smells like carrots and throws.
There must be lots of maggots!
It smells like sick animals and carcasses.
Even the smell smells really bad!
When you go to the apartment building, -
- and you smell the cuisine of people in his room, -
- and you ask: "What are they cooking?"
That added nonsense...!
- Hey pa! - Hey Scotty! How are you, kid...
I have a present for you.
Really?
Open the tank.
Is that a shark with a sticky laser on its head?
Cool!
This means I really have a terrible shark with a terrible laser sticking on his head?
You are the best bad boy the evil father has ever sought.
I love you, yeah.
I love you, kid Start the time...
Scotty! Come here.
Sit next to daddy!
Mini-Me, slide your chair.
That is the strength of the struggle.
Scotty in action!
Alright, start tightening here.
Everything's out, come on!
Not you, Scotty.
Not you, Number 2.
Not you, Frau.
Not you, Goldmember.
Not you guys back here.
Not you, the sailor who holds the wrench.
It's not you sailors who are turning a button as if they are doing something.
This isn't comfortable!
The little one can't imagine.
He doesn't understand, He's small.
Hello Foxxy. Austin.
We have confirmed what Fat Bastard told you about Roboto is true.
He has been hired by Dr. Evil to medirikan Preparation H.
So Roboto has the technology to make the Goldmember tractorbeam.
Which means Roboto will guide us to Goldmember.
Which means Goldmember will guide us to my father.
I'm president of Roboto Industry.
My name is Mr. Roboto
Thank you Mr.Roboto.
Thank you for wanting to meet us without notice.
- Do you speak Japanese? - A little.
You might be a linguist, but I'm an expert in debates.
I'm looking for my father. He was kidnapped.
Please eat (Shit = Tahi)
What do you eat?
Wait, he said: "Please eat (Shitake mushrooms = Japanese food)."
Tell me. What do you know about... where's my father... right...
Your ass (ass) is happy ??
No!
He said: "Your job is not a fun thing".
I have a big penis (rod = 5 meters in size)
Brash mouth.
I have a big problem with (Rodent = binatnag hardener)
Yes, change the topic, thank you.
Why don't I speak English?
That's a good idea, right?
That's why I don't want to lose reading the subtitles that make you talk dirty.
I'm sorry about your father. But I can't help you.
I'm sorry.
I have an appointment.
By the way...
I do have a 5 meter penis I hope...
Mr. Roboto lied to us.
Tell me something I don't know.
I once smelled a horse's bad breath.
- What did you say? - That's something you don't know.
My senses tell me that my father is still in this building...
You still look around. I will sneak up.
Austin Power is in this place.
Keep an eye on Austin Power.
Come here and see this.
What did it do what I thought?
Sha-zam!
Come on, baby.
That's Goldmember and Roboto.
Yesh. very impressive putting Preparation H into my car.
You need this to ring the tractorbeam.
This is the key to gold.
People know.
Let's split up.
Hands up, Goldmember!
It's payback time.
You can kill me.
But what happened to Austin Powers' father?
Daddy!
He will experience smelting.
Don't worry! I will save you.
Can I tell you, the last time you got into a trap.
Now you're trying to save me, even stopping Goldmember.
Really, I won't let Goldmember run away!
Austin, Goldmember is running away.
Hello, hello, are you going to introduce Austin?
Foxxy, this is...
Powers. Nigel Powers.
Are you using Eau de Fleuratia perfume?
Yes.
This is how a woman should smell.
Especially the ones as beautiful as you.
My my... even at the end of death you still maintain your reputation.
Perfect!
I have an idea.
Your car is small.
It's not a matter of size.
but how do you drive it?
I've found my way out, that's great.
What? I saved you!
Listen.
Do your job!
Oh, you're welcome.
Shut up and spin!
Run away! it's Godzilla!
It's like Godzilla.
But based on legal copyright it is not.
We have to keep running, it's like Godzilla!
Although it's not.
That's Goldmember.
Greater-greater one -iner, this is Goldie-van. replace it.
10-4 there, Goldie-van is Rubber, where is your location? Replace it.
I brought Preparation H back and smoky. in my door barrel... Viva las convoy. Replace it.
Yee-haa. Understood you monkey bitch.
Open the Rubber width, I enter your mouth now. Replace it.
Good, Goldmember ran away.
What now?
I think this is clear, we have to go into Dr.'s nest Evil by force.
- You can be my backup, kid. - Reserve?
This is a fair decision.
Do you think Dr. Evil expecting an attack?
We should go to the nest...
That's not my first show, Koboy.
We need soldiers, diving equipment.
I don't like using equipment.
Outside the room, thank you...
I feel cold has damaged your brain.
Really? And how do you know?
This is the longest time we've ever spent together, since...!
What are you saying, kid?
Do boys learn to drive cars with machines?
Or a helicopter that can attack suddenly?
How about the Swedish girl, Helga?
Oh, yes, Helga!
Say "I don't rent it for cooking!"
He stayed, until you were 24 years old.
We're a pair, you and me.
I don't need a friend.
I need a father.
I have risked my life trying to save you.
And you still don't give me respect.
Respect? Come on
If you have a problem, this is the problem.
That's not funny.
I think we better separate?
Good.
I have been assigned to welcome you to the Minister of Defense.
I have a letter from my personal leader thanking you for changing parties.
I can't wait to tell Austin of your inheritance to Dr.Evil.
Oh. Hello Basil.
Yes, Austin should be here in one second.
Yes, I'm in an Austin hotel room now.
Murder!
Trying to kill me huh?
Oh. Do you want to be friends, huh?
Wait a minute...
I won't be fooled again!
But, at least he didn't say it.
Yes, I know he can't talk.
I think Dr. Evil treated him badly.
And that's why he decided to help us.
Come here, you little girl.
Oh, yes. I'm sure Austin and Mini-Me will get along well.
I guarantee nothing will happen with the Mini-Me in my attention.
Come here, you little,
Oh, I think he and Austin will unite -
- in his commitment in the mission to dismiss Dr. Evil.
Austin. There you are.
I'll tell you good news.
Mini-Me has...
- switching parties.
Sorry about that, old boy.
Welcome.
My mistake (Mole-stake / Mistake).
What is that?
Listen. just remove it from your system.
- No, I'm fine. - I confirm.
We can work together better if you...
Mole!
Bloody moles!
We should not talk about Bloody Tahi lalt, -
- but there is a mole that blinks in front of me!
I will hit it, and cut it.
And will make some guacamole!
- Already? - Yeah.
So you decided to join us, huh, Mini-Me?
And welcome to the good side, my little brother...
And thank you for the map of the submarine Dr. Evil.
What is this?
It says: "Dr. Evil's tractorbeam is finished" -
- "there's no time. Dr. Evil has to pay for it!"
"You're very beautiful."
"Are you cloning an angel?"
That's really sweet!
But not my little man, I'm not an angel clone.
"Are you sure there's nothing at all?"
Yeah I'm sure.
"Do you want...?"
Damn it!
That's not funny.
Okay, everyone is ready to dive.
This car is also a submarine.
Connect me to the World Organization.
What is this, Dr. Evil?
Ladies and gentlemen. in an hour the meteor will hit the earth and cause massive flooding.
Unless you pay me.
1 billion-gezillion-fefillion...-
- million... yen.
I think you're bragging.
Maybe you want to see the demonstration? Number 2 key.
Sir, Dr. Evil doesn't brag.
One of our satellites was thrown from orbit.
Which one?
Which looks like a pair...
Watermelon! Large watermelon
Is it tasty and sweet?
What do you think?
Look at that!
That looks like a big package...
Hey, A and N you're late...
Come on Titans! Look at This reminds me of...
Stupid!
Stupid, Ozzy?
This film makes us like ***** stupid!
what do you mean, yeah?
They use the same ******* joke, in the last Austin Powers movie.
What ***?
You know, joke ******* about long smooth rockets that look like......
Johnson!
- Yes, sir? - Is there a sign from the satellite?
No, sir. It's gone.
Ladies and gentlemen, you have my request, peace!
Cool dear, you look very changed.
Thank you, Austin.
Don't Mini-Me! Stop! Naughty! Do not!
Dr. Evil. with the lights of the device's success.
based on Japanese customs, I get a bonus.
Bonus?
That's good. Yeah.
Throw me a bonus here!
I've never laughed since I was little, thank you!
Oh, you're not kidding...
No! If you don't give me a bonus...
- Hey guys! - Hey Scotty, how are you, sport?
- Why don't you let me handle this? - Okay.
That is a crime of laughter.
Scotty!
Scotty. it decreases the degree.
That's a little horrible.
Let's go.
We need to disguise.
There is only one uniform
One of us must be on the other shoulder.
Hey, how are you doing, friend?
Nice to meet.
Yeah, yeah... hi!
Hello. You ok?
Yes, that's a good hat, very good.
Come on Mini-Me, let's go.
Wait a minute, sir.
Do you think you can run away from this?
Actually, yes.
Every new member must be examined.
Come here, sailor.
I need your urine sample.
Okay.
Alright.
Hello.
And, this is ida.
- Great. - Yes.
Alright. Go behind the veil and take off your shirt.
Alright, I'll be behind the veil.
What's there.
Right behind the veil.
Come on, hurry up the map...
Okay, what's on the map.
I need to sample your urine.
Which way to the main room?
Okay. Certain.
Permisis, doctor?
Are you embarrassed when seen?
Mini-Me, our shadow, we show shadows.
What's wrong, sailor?
You have to check that person!
What happened here?
Hands up.
Did you hear? Raise your hands.!
Follow me!
Mini-Me, map. go!
Okay, I give up.
Are you okay, little man?
Good!
Mr. Powers.
Before I kill you. Maybe you want to see my genius plan.
The key is...
What is it? Who? How? Where?
Looking for this?
Mini-Me?
All right, everyone, throw your weapons...
Because Foxxy Cleopatra is on board.
Hajar, Foxxy! Yeah!
Alright, Dr. Evil.
Finally it ends here.
You, me and the gun.
What are you going to do now, Austin?
Daddy?
What are you doing here?
I have to finish it all...
I'm afraid you can't do it.
I have to protect my child.
Well, I'm fine.
I'm not talking about you.
I'm talking about... him.
What?
Dr. Evil is not your child.
I'm your child.
You two are my children...
What?
That's our first family vacation...
I just finished one case.
Your mother took you to Belgium.
I stopped to urinate.
When the car is...
But, but my parents died in the accident.
it's not an accident.
That was an attempted murder.
I think it's only Austin who survived I should have told you the truth.
But that Belgian makes you very... Evil.
Of course, they share the border with the Dutch...
A very interesting story, Mr. Powers.
Of course, I have to wait until I see all the facts.
Daddy!
Daddy is here, Ducky.
Ducky, Ducky?
Remember Ducky, Ducky...?
Well, what happened?
What will you do Austin?
Austin!
Are you sure you believe in, Dr. Evil?
He is not a criminal.
She's my brother, honey, yeah!
I should have said this a long time ago, son.
I'm very proud of you.
Can you forgive me?
I forgive you.
I'm Ducky! I'm Ducky!
Oh, come on!
I think first I wasn't bad enough for you.
And now have you changed to be good?
Listen, Scott.
You can spend your whole life -
- try to get a parent's welcome. Believe me!
But in the end you have to do it yourself, baby.
Hey, Austin...
What?
I hate you.
I hate you!
I don't even know you, but I hate you. too.
and I especially hate you!
You will pay.
I want to say that there is nothing in my line that runs like a girl.
Not so fast, people know!
Dr. Evil!
You might not want to destroy the world.
But I want to!
Preparation H is ready as planned...
I have to flood the Earth!
Think again, Goldmember.
Huh, Foxxy Cleopatra.
It's a shame, I killed your partner.
- Too bad for you. - Too bad for me?
How about too bad for you?
Oh no!
It's lucky I brought shingles.
See everything! My dick is the key!
Oh shit, Dutch Blood.
Foxxy, I'm coming!
Don't do stupid things, or shootings will occur.
Austin, ask Ducky I'm still here and it will be your backup.
Ducky, what do we do?
I'm not really a "hands-on-evil-genius".
Think, you're always the smartest.
I can rewrite tractorbeam Output capacity -
- from one of the pipe boxes up there.
Come on, let's go.
Yesh! Shooting begins.
Let me shoot!
You know, Dr. Evil. I used to think that you were crazy.
I know...
But now I can see your madness. thanks.
Fast!
Fassia, Fassia, Fassia, Fassia, Fassia.
Fassia can you please me?
Fassia, fassia...
Very good, Austin!
You saved the world again.
Thank you.
Austin, you did it.
We do it!
Yeah, baby!
No? Just turn on the atmosphere.
Goldmember, you're arrested, baby.
Hey motherfucker. Can I have the last time for cigarettes and cakes?
I'm from the Netherlands! Is that weird?
Yes, very good!
Hey Powers!
Fat Bastard?
But you're not fat anymore.
I'm on a diet.
I dropped 180 kilograms.
Congratulations, honey.
Thank you.
I have a little excess skin.
But unfortunately my neck is shaped like a vagina.
Austin.
Thank you, for everything.
Sha-zam!
I'll catch you, Austin Powers.
Well they are using the same * BEEP * joke -
- What did I use in the last Austin Powers movie... movie... oh I'm sorry.
Well they are using the... the... what...
Well they are using the same joke, as they...
W... what do you mean?
Boobs, Ozzy?
Stop...
Oh, don't start this Kelly, don't worry about...
On the mark!
On the mark?
I don't like that noise I'm getting all turned on.
My testeron is going dancing...
Get off me!
Is... is it true what they say about you?
Kickstand? Really? Can I give you my cellphone number?
Please?
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Burt Bacharach.