♪ I can't stop it ♪
♪ Oh, this party boppin' ♪
Whoo…
Hold on, take this.
Monique!
Monique. Mo-Monique! Don't hang…
- She lives in the Bronx - I know where she live at.
What about that girl Kaley? Remember her?
Oh man, nah, she got this…
…like, orangutan titties.
- Big ass titties. - Long ass…
- Come on. - Oh, damn, man!
I'ma tell you why we ain't get no coochie, like
- yo ass, always be like - Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
- As soon as you see it… - But you know you're talking…
- Shut up. - You… You wantme to shut up.
Ah!
♪ I can't stop, energy flowin' ♪
♪ Used to kill time ♪ ♪ when the party keep goin' ♪
♪ DJ spinnin' in the park like a pro and ♪
♪ Out all night, and I don't see no end ♪
♪ I can't stop, full-time grindin' ♪
♪ Night so good that I wanna rewind it ♪
♪ Spendin' that money… ♪
What? Wait, what?
No, it's nothing.
Let's just try something.
- OK. - OK.
Sorry.
All right, come here.
Oh.
- You good? - Yeah.
OK.
Should we just stop?
No, I'm fine.
- Do you want to just go down on me? - No.
Hello?
All right.
It's fine.
The last time I had sex,
it hurt.
Hmm. It hurt where?
Do you think that could be an STD, I mean…
How many sexual partners have you had in the last year?
More than five?
More than ten?
It's around there.
Protected?
Yeah, I mean, um…
- It's OK. - Yeah, if we can find… Sorry.
OK.
Any problems urinating? Any bumps or lesions?
OK. I was still on the question part of the examination.
Moving right along…
It's actually, uh… It's a bit, kinda, higher up.
More in the, uh, the pube region.
- Mm-hmm. - Uh-huh.
Tell me if it hurts anywhere.
Yeah.
- Hmm. - What?
Ah, it's really nothing,
but just to be on the safe side,
I'm gonna order an X-ray.
♪ I can't stop, energy flowin' ♪
♪ Got to kill time ♪ ♪ when the party keep goin' ♪
♪ DJ spinnin' in the park like a pro and ♪
♪ Out all night, and I don't see no end ♪
♪ I can't stop full-time grindin' ♪
♪ Night so good that I wanna rewind it ♪
♪ Spendin' that money ♪ ♪ like I don't really want it ♪
♪ Say the word "party" ♪ ♪ and you know that we on it ♪
♪ 'Cause I can't stop, ♪ ♪ energy flowin' ♪
♪ Used to kill time ♪ ♪ when the pa rty keep goin' ♪
♪ DJ spinnin' in the park ♪
♪ Out all night and I don't see no end ♪
♪ I can't stop, full-time grindin' ♪
♪ Night so good that I wanna rewind it ♪
♪ Spending that money ♪ ♪ like I don't really want it ♪
♪ Say the word "party" ♪ ♪ and you know that we on it ♪
♪ 'Cause I can't stop, energy flowin' ♪
♪ Used to kill time ♪ ♪ when the party keep goin' ♪
♪ DJ spinnin' in the park… ♪
Hey, you always come into Littleneck, right?
It's the sandwich shop on Franklin?
Sorry. Uh, Littleneck, right?
Um… Yes.
I work there.
Oh, cool.
You always get your sandwiches to go?
- Yeah, my office is around the corner. - Yeah.
Yeah, no, I recognize your headphones,
and you're very pretty.
Ow.
- I'm in the middle of a podcast. - Do you not like compliments?
We're strangers.
Semi-strangers.
I mean…
I know your favorite meat is ham.
- Are you a stalker? - No, I'm Elliot.
Hey.
You know, um…
This is a great example of the dangers of podcasts.
What?
Well, no, don't get me wrong. I'm sure you're learning tons,
you know, listening to Radiolab, or whatever.
Broadening your horizons, and all that, but, um…
Now, you're missing so much stuff right in front of you.
You know, the, uh… The New York City texture.
- Yeah. - Does that normally work for you?
- Why? You think it's a line? - I just think that…
Tinder has made you forget how to talk to girls in person.
And now, you're suffering due to no reception.
Maybe.
But last week, I met Roberto, an underwater welder
on the C train.
Did you know underwater welding is one of the world's most dangerous jobs?
So, you're the texture in this case, then?
The… ham-slicing waiter?
That's condescending.
I don't love my job either.
Who said I don't love my job?
- I… I just thought… - Oh, I hate it.
Actually, um…
I'm building an app.
Doesn't an app kind of…
get in the way of all the… textures?
OK, no, that's a valid point, but, um,
once I explain it to you, your mind…
is gonna be blown, I promise.
- Are you not getting on? - No. I'm the F.
Guess I'll see you at Littleneck, then.
What's your name? Also, your phone number, too.
That would be… That would be good.
Mia.
Yeah. We were gonna… transfer…
Hey Cheryl.
Hi.
How's it going?
Fine.
Durst's apartmentwas located 2 miles from where
the dismembered headless torso was initially discovered.
So, I met this guy.
Come hit this.
No, I'm good, thank you.
We met on the subway.
He actually works at the sandwich place near my office.
Awesome. Get us some free sandys
I can't. It was more of a…
interaction, I guess.
An interaction?
You know, like, talking.
- So hot. - Practically coming.
Wait, have you even had sex since you moved in here with us?
Never mind. You guys just…
go back to watching The Jinx. Again.
Look.
Tomorrow, at lunch,
go get a sandwich, and then get your dick wet.
One-stop shopping.
So, you see this shape right here?
- That's your pubic bone. - OK.
And you see this dark spot?
Uh… No, not… Not really.
That's…
a tumor.
It's… It's a tumor?
Yes.
You… You mean, like, "a tumor" tumor.
At your age, most tumors are benign.
- Which means harmless. - Oh, I… I know, um…
It's the malignant ones we need to worry about,
which is why I'm scheduling a biopsy.
But I don't want you to be alarmed.
Is, um…
Is Elliot working today?
Nah, he's out sick.
Business or pleasure?
Business.
I'm just gonna…
Pleasure.
Thought so.
OK, um…
- Ready? - Yeah.
- This is just the anesthetic, OK? - OK.
… doubt they sent one to surrender.
Cassie!
Cass!
Actual people. Oh, my God!
Welcome to Willits.
Cassie!
Yo.
Brought you a sandwich.
Martin thinks you're at Burning Man,
even though I told him you had the flu and to look it up,
because Burning Man was in August.
I'm out.
What?
Wha… Yo! Let's just stay home!
Smoke a bowl.
Do awful experiments.
It's something called Ewing's sarcoma.
When did you find out?
- Well, like, officially? - Yeah.
Yesterday.
Jesus Christ!
So what now?
Uh, so now, I go, and I see a specialist.
Oh, that's good that you're seeing a specialist, right?
Isn't it impossible to get into a specialist?
Wait, how did you know to go to the doctor in the first place?
You're like a human 20 Questions, huh?
I'm sorry.
It's just…
I'm not an expert, obviously,
but, um…
I think I'm sick a lot of the times
so I'm kind of a
WebMD superuser, and, uh
you know, you… The sooner that you catch it,
the sooner that you start treatment,
- The higher the likelihood… - That I don't die?
Sorry.
You already said that.
What did your parents say?
I haven't told them yet.
You haven't told your parents?
What about your friends?
Why am I the first person that you tell this to?
Because we're strangers, I guess.
I thought we were semi-strangers.
That's… That's very good.
Um…
No, I mean, just relative to the situation,
everybody else would've freaked out.
I'm pretty freaked out.
Yeah, me too, bro.
Um…
I'm gonna take you out again, you know.
We can talk about something else.
Aren't you building an app?
Sort of.
You said it was gonna blow my mind.
I said that?
That's dumb.
It's dumb. I shouldn't have said that to you.
Pitch it to me.
I'll decide. Come on.
I could be an investor.
I don't have money, but, um…
I could be a… a silent partner, you know?
OK. Um… OK.
So.
It's supposed to help your life, you know,
like therapy.
Except it's 99 cents instead of 200 bucks an hour.
OK.
So, what you would do is you would tell it
when you're feeling good or feeling bad.
Uh, it would notice these patterns, and then,
it sort of recognizes what it is that makes you happy.
So what are the patterns based on, then?
Who you're with, you know? Uh…
What you're doing.
What about where you live or financial situation?
Yeah. No, that… That could definitely be a part of it.
Or… Brain chemistry?
Also, if you're a girl, you're PMS-ing. Stuff like that?
A guy, if you have cancer?
Someone got fucked.
How was his cock?
We didn't… Just talked.
Oh, so another interaction?
Yeah.
We don't believe you.
Hey, Lindsay?
Sup?
Can you, um…
Come feel my boob?
Uh… No.
No, I… I feel a lump.
You're so dramatic. Maybe you have lumpy tits.
Can you please just come in and check?
The most effective treatment
tends to combine eight to ten rounds of chemotherapy
with targeted radiation.
I'd like to start next week.
How does that sound?
You're like a kid-cancer doctor.
Sort of.
All right, so, aren't I a little bit too old for this?
Typically, Ewing's patients are younger, yes.
But I see people your age… I've seen people into their thirties.
Which leads me to
something else that we need to talk about.
Have you thought about banking your sperm?
Uh… What?
There is a change that the radiation affects fertility.
You… You want me to… To jerk off in a cup?
If you're planning on having children some day…
I don't even have a girlfriend.
I understand, but before treatment,
that's the time to do it. Just in case.
Right.
Once you're done with the sample,
put it in the metal tray to your right.
There is a-magazines by the sink.
OK, great.
We have all sizes and shapes.
Got it.
Come on.
What's the WiFi?
No public WiFi!
Hi.
Wow.
I wanna totally pay money to suck your dick right now.
Oh, that's uh…
That's very helpful. Thank you
You're welcome.
You think you wanna… talk some more?
I love podcasts.
Uh, no, more like
what you were saying before.
Oh, OK, um…
Your dick is so huge.
No, no, I feel like you're overcompensating for the podcast thing.
- Sorry. - It's OK.
Um, your dick is totally above average.
That's cool.
Sixty-third percentile.
Oh.
♪ Keep me close to you ♪
Oh, my God.
♪ No one's gonna love me like you do ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪ - Ah!
♪ Keep me out with you… ♪
- Hi. - Hey.
Come here. Hi.
Do you want to come in?
I read about this one kid
who was diagnosed with stage-4 Ewing's.
Now he has a whole family.
Like, owns 13 car-washes.
Yeah, I don't…
I don't really want to own car-washes.
Point is… is that he's healthy.
Also, car-washes are lucrative.
You know that when you find Ewing's this early, it's like,
70% survival rate.
Yeah, but how many people get Ewing's in the first place?
One in a million.
All right, so, fuck statistics
Hey, you're being really nice. I'm being a dick, all right?
It's OK. You're allowed to be a dick right now.
Did you tell your parents?
Mm. They're in Jersey.
Oh, they don't have phones in Jersey?
Man, you're like obsessed with me telling my parents.
Why don't you tell your parents?
Parent.
Oh.
Yeah, just my mom.
Right, so your dad, did he…
pass away, or?
He's not dead, technically.
He got two women pregnant, and uh…
chose the other one.
So, now he has four kids in Colorado.
Oh, what an asshole.
Yeah, he got me paintbrushes for Christmas last year.
Oh, that's cool. So you paint?
No.
- …was unreliable. - Oh, yeah. Woah!
There's a dude here.
That's a dude!
Like… The dude?
Oh! There's a dude?
Let's, uh… We're gonna go to my room.
- Oh! OK. - Mm-hmm.
- Hey. - Hey.
- Bye, dude! - Peace out!
So, uh, who is he?
Who's who?
Your slam piece.
Does he work in toothpaste marketing with you?
I don't have a slam piece.
You remember the toothpaste thing?
Yeah.
Never met a toothpaste marketer before.
Oh, please don't refer to me as a toothpaste marketer.
OK.
OK, if you could have…
any job,
what would it be?
There's not, like, one job.
Not even when you were little?
Well, um…
I always had this vision…
of going to, like, a big office building every day
and wearing a… a pantsuit like women on TV
that are important and powerful and
in a hurry.
I think that's great.
And, I mean, I think you would look great in a pantsuit.
I don't know.
Right now, I'm just, uh,
putting numbers into Excel all day, every day
until my brain turns to Play-Doh.
Or you could go be a business woman somewhere else.
Took me a year to get this job.
It's not that easy.
So…
If I were gonna go to Jersey, you know, theoretically…
Not theoretically. You have to go.
Right, um…
Would you…
Would you want to come with me?
- To Jersey? - Yeah.
Woah…
Oh, no, that was weird.
Little bit.
Shit, um…
I'm sorry.
You have a beautiful home.
Really.
Thank you.
Furniture, decorations, it's…
- it's… very nice… - Mia, it's OK, you can relax.
We're pretty easy-going.
Cool, yeah. Me too.
We are glad you came out.
Especially since it's been… How long's it been?
- I don't know. - Yeah.
Sorry guys.
Elliot's not exactly forthcoming about the romantic chapters in his life.
Well, it's assuming most of them are paragraphs
not chapters, so…
I mean, I'd still like to know who he's seeing.
Really? Even the DTFs?
OK, what's a DTF?
You know, Down To…
Down To… I don't…
Down To Fuck!
- OK. Jesus, babe. - That's what they say now.
She just signed up for the Urban Dictionary word of the day.
Hey, I know we're embarrassing, but
You could participate.
Uh…
Everything all right?
Are… Are you gonna tell them?
Tell us what?
Nothing.
E… Elliot.
What's going on, Elliot?
Hey. Hey, hey.
Um…
It's a form of bone cancer localized in the pelvis.
What?
He has cancer. The cancer is called Ewing's sarcoma…
OK, stop. Stop saying cancer.
I… It's OK.
I mean, it's not… It's not OK, but you know,
it hasn't spread,
and he met with a specialist at Dalton Russet…
All right, who the hell are you? I'm sorry.
I'm Mia.
Oh, my God.
Thank you for coming with me.
Well, I'm free tomorrow if you want to go back and do it again.
♪ If love is a gun ♪ ♪ you're my trigger, bang ♪
♪ If love's a gun ♪ ♪ I'm better off dead ♪
♪ Bang bang ♪ ♪ shoot shoot me down ♪
♪ I like it rough and ♪ ♪ you like it round ♪
♪ Lying in your bed, ♪ ♪ honey explosions in my head ♪
♪ If love's a gun you're my trigger, babe ♪
♪ If love's a gun you're my trigger, bang ♪
♪ If love's a gun… ♪
Is this OK?
You're asking me?
Is this OK for you?
You kidding me? My Make-A-Wish.
That's not funny.
You laughed.
I meant for your pelvis.
Be gentle.
That's my preferred style anyways.
♪ You're my trigger, bang ♪
♪ If love's a gun I'm better off dead ♪
Wow.
So you are alive.
No, man, I'm asleep.
Oh. Ham and cheese girl.
Uh, Nico, Mia. Mia…
Nico.
I'm gonna go.
You could stay.
This is why you haven't answered my 400 texts, huh?
'Cause you got, like, a girlfriend, now?
We were supposed to be single 'til we were 30. At least.
And now, you don't even tell me! You just disappear?
P.S. Martin says you're fired. He told me to tell you that.
Also, you look like shit. And that's me saying that.
Uh… Goodbye, Nico.
Yeah, see ya.
I got to, um…
I gotta tell you something.
Um…
- I have… - Chlamydia? What?
…factoring in the difference in purchasing power.
Who are you texting, Mia?
Uh, no one.
We're having trouble finding any more usable veins.
Right, well, they could use the top of my hands,
or go in between my toes, right?
The priority is administering the chemo properly.
All right.
A port will do that.
No.
No, ports cause infection, blood clots,
they make it impossible to shower.
Mia googled it.
Who's Mia?
My girlfriend.
Congratulations.
Is she a doctor?
No, it doesn't matter, OK?
I don't want you to put a trapdoor into my body.
OK, I will make you a deal.
We try one more round of chemo VIA IV.
If that doesn't work, then I have to put in a chest port.
Not even six months later,
Gacy was charged with attempting to molest yet another teenager.
Yo. You wanna watch this John Wayne Gacy thing with us?
Uh, I just came for a change of clothes.
Just sit with us for, like, five minutes and relax.
He was charged with rape. By 1970…
…but he narrowly avoided another rape conviction.
Just days before the wedding, he imitated a police officer
to manipulate a boy to perform oral sex.
You wanna do something today?
No, I'm going back to Jersey.
Mm. I can go with you.
You know.
Whip out the old Xbox.
I'm going with Mia. Thanks, though.
Yeah. Cool.
♪ Baby, I can't sleep ♪
This is a tiny bit weird, isn't it?
A little bit.
Oh, you do that way too naturally.
Thanks, mom.
That was not a compliment.
Medicinal shit's potent!
It's not medicinal.
Oh!
- Mmm. - Damn, mom.
Why do you sound so shocked?
You, like, rap on the side, too?
- Just a little bit. - It's a stereotype, Elliot.
I just wish I knew that in high school, you know.
I wouldn't have spent all that money on Visine.
We knew you were high.
You did?
- Oh! - Of course!
It's too many revelations in one day! I can't!
You see, Mia.
We're bonding as a family.
Mm-hmm.
Man, you guys are…
awesome.
Really cool.
- Good, right? - Mm-hmm.
Really good look. Mm-hmm.
I want you to do it.
What?
Yeah, just gimme… Gimme like a fade.
- What the heck is a fade? - Give me a flattop.
- I'm too high. - I'm too high, too.
Just do whatever you want to do.
This is a very big thing.
I trust you.
OK.
Yeah?
- OK, I'll do it. - OK.
- Boy, oh boy. - OK.
All right. One…
Two…
Three…
How is it?
Wait, are you… Are you still gonna be attracted to me?
I don't wanna have to go back to my stupid fluorescent cubicle tomorrow.
You should call in sick.
I used all my sick days.
Oh.
Come here.
- Why? - Come here.
Ah!
Now you got all my germs. You can't go.
Can I tell you something?
Yeah.
I love you.
I'm really in love with you.
Mia!
Your work this last month has been unacceptable.
You're late, you're distracted,
you're negligent. You know, I had to resend the Nissan deck,
because you didn't notice that the CMO's name was misspelled.
- I'm sorry. I just… - Do you want to keep this job?
Of course.
Then don't give me an excuse.
Just make sure that this laziness or apathy or
- whatever it is disappears. - OK.
There's not gonna be another warning.
Oh, and clean yourself up.
You look like you just stumbled out of a Bushwick commune.
I'm not lazy.
You know that I'm not lazy.
I took a six a.m. train from Jersey,
- because my boyfriend is sick… - Oh!
Boyfriend drama
is an excuse.
Fuck you.
- What? - Yeah.
Fuck you! You think that you can talk to me like this?
Like I'm not a fucking person?
And you were the one that misspell the CMO's last name,
because you spell like a fucking first-grader.
Get out.
See ya later, alligator. Fucking A.
Same haircut.
The tumor isn't responding to the treatment.
I know that isn't an easy thing to hear.
Well, I mean, there's…
There's trials on, um, gemcetabine combined with docetaxel…
Trials are not a viable option at this point.
Could you have enrolled him in one earlier?
We have to operate.
Before the tumor metastasizes.
Could you have put him in one or not?
Could we just listen, Mia?
It feels like I know more about Ewing's than everyone in this fucking hospital…
All right, well, you don't, so stop talking.
Normally, these discussions are held in private.
You're doing me a favor?
Me being here is a favor?
Um…
How often does the surgery work?
About 20% of the time.
Do you want to just keep walking?
I'm too cold.
Hey!
Hey, you know, you could apologize!
Hey, fucking asshole!
Hey, stop.
Hey, I hope you choke on your beard, you cock-sucking little bitch!
The fuck are you looking at?
Go back to your iPhones, cunts!
Fuck!
Just calm down, OK?
People are looking at me like I'm handicapped or something!
Because you're yelling mean things to people!
Why are you so nice to me, huh?
I'm ruining your life! You lost your job!
- Because of me! - I quit my job!
Leave! Before this gets worse! I'm serious, leave!
I'm not going anywhere, Elliot!
- You got it? - Please leave!
- Stop! Stop! - Please leave.
Listen to me.
I'm not going anywhere.
OK?
I don't wanna die.
Ah!
♪ Livin' in an obscene dream ♪
♪ Looking for the real thing ♪
♪ Livin' in an obscene dream ♪
There you go.
- You gotta do it. - No, no. I don't want to go to jail.
Fuck the pigs!
♪ Note to self, the world ♪ ♪ is closing in all around you ♪
What are you doing?
How long have they been in your closet for?
It's not important.
Well, what if they've gone bad?
Drugs aren't like milk.
Elliot, this could be bad for your body.
That's the point, Mia.
OK, hold on.
Actually, the top five results are all saying
that there's a possible connection between ecstasy and curing cancer.
That's great, 'cause I already took mine.
- What? - Mm-hmm.
Maybe I'll be cured.
You're so soft. How'd you get so soft?
Elliot, look at me.
My girlfriend and I, we think you're very beautiful.
I absolutely love your shoes.
Um…
I think… that your lips are just… kissable.
I like your nose ring.
I was born with it.
That's the… bed.
♪ It's raining, it's raining ♪ ♪ I wish that it was sunny out ♪
♪ It's chilly, so chilly I wish ♪ ♪ that it was summertime again ♪
♪ So dear ♪
♪ We're laughing ♪ ♪ and grooving and surfing… ♪
It's cool, you know?
You look like Jason Statham now.
Who is that again?
The bald guy from, uh…
I actually don't know what he's from.
Movies about cars that blow up.
- Point is: I'd hit it. - Thank you.
I am hitting it.
When my cancer dick works.
I think your cancer penis works so great.
- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.
Look, don't you have any friends for me?
I mean, my regular dick works great.
I mean, my roommates.
Yep, they're obsessed with murder.
Uh, anyone else?
No, not really.
Right, 'cause you're too busy claiming Elliot for yourself all the time.
This naan is bomb.
Should have it at my funeral.
- What? - You should order Indian food, you know,
for my funeral.
Don't say shit like that.
I just mean, I don't want it to be all somber and quiet, you know?
I want people to have fun.
Wear real clothes
and get fucked up and only listen to Kanye.
Your surgery is gonna go great.
And then, we'll do whatever you want.
- OK? - Yeah. What she said.
Hey, Mia.
Mm-hmm.
Will you marry me?
Wh… What?
I just wanna know that I married you.
You're the best.
You're the most beautiful
and the kindest.
Yes.
- Yeah? - Yes! Fuck yes!
Yes? I don't have a…
- I don't have a ring, or… - I don't care.
I don't care.
To love and to hold
from this day forward
as long as we both shall live.
With this ring, I thee wed.
With this ring,
I thee wed.
Do you want to split Funyuns?
I'm not hungry.
Me neither.
I didn't mean to take him away from you
these past couple months.
He talks about you a lot.
Don't do that.
We, um…
We got married.
What?
We got married.
You got married?
Yeah.
That's fucking crazy.
Why? What's the point?
Why do we need a point?
To get married?
Seems like you really thought it through.
We wanted to do it, so we did.
I'm sorry that that pisses you off so much.
What did Paul and Rebecca say?
We were in a park,
sitting on a bench, and he asked.
Did you wear a dress?
Jeans.
Hmm. And Elliot?
Also jeans.
Good. He's cute in jeans.
Oh, my God. That was such a stupid thing to say.
That's not. He does.
I wish we could've been there.
I know.
I'm sorry.
It was just like a… you know, a shotgun wedding.
Honey, are you pregnant?
What? No. No, no.
No, I'm not.
Oh, my God. You're pregnant.
Holy fucking shit.
Oh, no. No, I… I promise.
I am not… definitely not pregnant.
Really.
I'm sorry.
- Then wh… - So, you meant, uh…
What?
Um, I just meant like…
It felt like a… a ticking clock.
You know?
♪ I will pick your clothes ♪ ♪ up in the morning ♪
♪ I will put the coffee by the bed ♪
♪ Baby, don't you want me ♪ ♪ to bring you those drugs? ♪
♪ To every pull there is a pusher ♪
♪ To get you right back ♪ ♪ where you started from ♪
Hey.
Hi.
Will you talk to me?
I'm… I'm excited.
You might change your mind once you meet her.
You've done everything for me, right?
We can spend a weekend with your mom.
She's my mom, too, now.
I am so sorry about that.
Oh, my baby, baby, baby.
Finally coming to see me.
Look at you.
This is Elliot.
Hi, it's so nice to meet you, Mom.
Come here. Hey.
Mom. That's funny.
That's a good one.
Hey. Blake.
Oh.
- I've heard so much about you. - Yes.
- Elliot. - Blake.
Hey.
Two beautiful Wolfensparker women.
- Oh, yeah. - How lucky are we? Right?
Actually, I changed my name.
To what?
To Elliot's last name, Baker.
- That's… - Hey, you know what?
- Um, Mia, give me your bag… - Oh, thank you.
- Elliot… - Thank you. Yeah.
One more, one more.
- Let's have a drink, right? - Yes.
- How's it going? - Look at you. You look so beautiful.
- Hi. Yeah. - Isn't he great?
He's cute isn't he? Blake?
Oh, my God. Look at you.
Why did she have to put the braces pictures in here?
- I think pink's cute. - Yeah, but I had them until the 11th grade.
That wouldn't have stopped me.
Definitely would have.
How do you know?
Because… I kissed 3 boys in high school.
Two felt me up.
One fingered me.
And that is it.
And when did you lose your virginity?
Oh.
Um.
First semester, sophomore year of college.
And who was he?
And was it serious or…
Zach Mancuso.
I called him, "Ginger Zach."
We had sex three and a half times.
He sounds like a stud.
Yeah. Real stud.
It's kind of weird that we haven't talked about this stuff.
We're talking about it now.
Yeah.
It just seems kind of backwards.
So, who was yours?
Um… Tanya Wasserman.
Guessing not sophomore year of college.
It was freshman year.
OK, so both late bloomers.
It was freshman year of high school.
You've had five more sex years than me.
Yeah. So what?
So, what's your number?
My number?
Yeah.
Your number.
Um… 12.
I've had sex with four people.
Including you.
Including Vanessa.
With Vanessa?
The girl from the threesome.
What? You didn't count her?
That doesn't matter now.
So, 13 girls.
Who cares, huh?
You're the only one I even look at now
- You okay? - Yeah, thank you.
So, I run the grounds crew at the stadium.
OK, so basically, I, um… I plant the grass.
And then I water the grass.
And then, I replace the grass.
But that's probably a whole more about grass
that you don't want to hear about, right?
But I do get to watch a lot of baseball.
- Oh, that's so cool. - Right?
- Yeah. - What do you do, Elliot?
Um.
I'm just taking some classes right now.
Just getting back on his feet.
Yeah. I'm on… I'm on my feet.
Um…
But, yeah, I'm… I'm learning how to code.
And I wanna design apps.
You know, that's the goal. At least it's something.
And what about the cancer?
I mean, are you going to the doctor?
- You get check-ups? - Yeah.
Yeah. It's every six months.
That's really brave of you, Elliot.
I don't know how you do it.
I don't know about brave.
You know, I never had any choice.
He is brave. Very, very brave.
Getting married. Now that's brave.
Well, we're in love, so…
it seems right.
Well, it's right right now.
Hey, come on.
Mom.
Hey, I've been married twice.
So, clearly, you know what you're talking about.
Um, how'd you two meet?
- Well, we, uh… - It's… you could tell 'em.
- It's kind of random. - Online. Online, actually.
- An app. - Oh. Oh, it's very modern of you.
- Yeah. - So modern.
Which, uh… which one?
Bagel Meets Bagel.
I thought it was a Jew thing.
Turns out, non-denominational.
Maybe you can work for them, huh?
You OK?
You wanna talk about it?
Mm-mmm.
Yeah, 'cause, uh…
I don't think it went that bad.
Shit.
I forgot condoms. You have condoms?
I didn't have sex in high school, remember?
Right.
We could, um…
I am not doing anal.
No, baby, I wasn't gonna say anal.
We could do mouth stuff.
Sure, or we could just not use one.
I mean, I don't have chemo cum anymore.
- Yeah. - Yeah?
Just don't finish inside me, OK?
I love how you say finish.
So proper.
I have very good manners.
So, where should I finish?
Hmm.
The floor?
There's a rug.
Oh, yeah.
What about your tits?
OK, cool.
Cool.
Good plan.
It's going to be fine, right?
Promise.
How can you promise that?
'Cause it all ended up on your chest.
Pre-cum.
There was this girl, Molly Fishner.
She got pregnant two weeks before prom…
because of pre-cum.
I don't believe that.
Maybe that was a hot tub incident.
You see? It's fine.
Still. You can't get pregnant,
so you don't fully understand.
What do you think about kids?
Kids?
Yeah.
Kids are cool.
I used to be one.
I mean, like, having them.
We're 23.
Yeah. In the future.
I mean…
I guess, like…
If I'm 35, maybe.
If I'm healthy.
Why? Do you wanna have kids?
I don't know.
We can get a dog.
Hmm.
♪ Incomplete without tearing all the sleeves… ♪
Hey, take your shirt off.
No, I don't want to.
OK.
Ow!
Shit, are you OK?
- Yeah. - Yeah? All right.
♪ Let's consult our favorite recipe ♪
♪ Nobody cares ♪
♪ Oh, no ♪
♪ Nobody cares… ♪
So, what do you wanna watch?
I don't care.
What about Dirty Dancing?
Pass.
Have you seen it?
No.
Then you don't know what you're saying no to.
I don't want to watch a dance movie.
Sorry.
So, you do care what we watch, then.
♪ Out we go into the world ♪ ♪ of scary eyes and lies ♪
♪ Low key, baby, I'm never ♪ ♪ feeling quite all right ♪
♪ Nobody cares ♪
♪ Oh, no ♪
♪ Nobody cares ♪
♪ Oh, no ♪
♪ Nobody cares ♪
So, who's staying in my room?
This big, tall dude from Germany named Henrik.
Yeah, it sounds cultural.
Hmm.
I guess.
Mostly, it's just weird.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Everything's weird.
When did shit get so fucking weird?
Probably when you got a big, fat tumor…
and then married Mia.
Hey. Do you even like her?
Oh, forget it. I shouldn't have asked.
Yeah, I mean…
She's uh… She seems…
Yeah, she seems fine.
Fine?
Fine is good. Fine is positive.
She…
She's fine. She is…
No, no, no. That's not how you meant it, dawg.
OK, I'm just saying.
Can we just something positive… happy right now?
OK, like the opposite of sad.
Yeah. No, you're right.
- Let's go to the strip club. - Can't do that.
Why not?
'Cause that's not how marriage works.
Are you sure you know how marriage works?
All right, look.
Would your dad go to the strip club on a random Wednesday?
No, he avoids my mom by playing golf three times a week.
- That's what he do. - Look. It's like this.
You spend all your time together.
Right? Like, you are always together.
And then if you're not,
you have to tell the other person where you are.
But you never had a bachelor party.
- No. - Yes.
- Nico, no. - Ah-ha! It is a rule.
No, no. Fuck, no.
All husbands must have bachelor parties.
- No, man. - Yes.
- No, no, no, no. - We are going to the strip club.
No, no.
♪ I know it ain't for free ♪
♪ Hands on the wall ♪
Look at your little baby face.
Hey.
Hmm?
My checkup with Harden is on Thursday.
I know. It's in my calendar.
What if it's back?
It's not back.
Mia, do you want to go over the kombucha deck after lunch?
Yeah, sure.
Also, how do you feel about making the presentation?
- Uh, to you guys? - To the client.
Really?
Yeah, you built most of it.
Um, when is it?
…It increases brand awareness.
Having something young and fresh,
bringing colors in, images, I think…
So, it was completely clear?
Yeah, she said it was all good.
What else did she say?
Not much.
You know, she said, "I'll see you in a couple of months."
And we talked about her kids a lot.
Oh, you are so strong.
The strongest.
Elliot: one. Cancer: zero.
Feels like more than one.
I was just… just making a joke.
Yeah, like ones and zeros. Binary code.
Was that it?
You were making a reference to binary code?
Yeah. Sort of.
I'm just trying to deconstruct the joke.
- I know. I know. - I'm translating…
That's funny. So, Mia, what's going on with you?
Um, I actually did my first presentation to a client today.
- And? - That… that was your big thing?
It was the presentation.
Yes.
Yeah. It was.
So, how did it go?
It went really well.
It was… it was great.
Good.
Well, there's no better feeling than to see you two doing so well.
Now we have so much to celebrate.
To you two.
I told you that I was sorry.
Yeah. In a text.
Like, ten minutes before the appointment.
There were more emojis than words.
It was an opportunity…
at a job that I actually like.
Was it more important than finding out if my cancer's back?
That's not fair.
How do you think the bills get paid?
Out of curiosity.
You're the one that said I need time to get back on my feet.
Elliot, you sit at home and smoke weed
and play video games, while I go and work.
I'm sorry. We don't all have it together like you.
Your stuff has always come first.
- That's… that's because I… - I know. I know.
I don't regret anything. Of course not.
I wish I could clone myself and be there for you every second of every day.
But I have to focus on my life, too.
Oh, and I'm… I'm stopping you from doing that?
I mean, I never asked you to put your life on hold.
You know, and… and just because you talk in this even tone,
it doesn't make you right.
I just want us to be on the same team.
And I just want a real apology.
I think…
that maybe you should talk to other people
that have been through this.
I can't do it by myself.
I wish we had another fucking room.
I mean, it's not exactly easy
to start dating again, especially when you have one nut.
You know, I'm 44. Twice divorced.
And I just thought you'd like to know I have one nut.
But… but we can still try and have kids.
I mean, theoretically, it's possible. Though…
one day, they'll probably get cancer in their nuts, too.
…me being on my fucking phone? Just be aware.
I don't know what you thought I was gonna do. It's one day of the year!
Every time I talk to my sister, in the back of my mind,
I'm like, "Fuck you for not visiting me once."
But it's a big deal if I miss her six-year-old's birthday party.
I had full coverage.
Somehow, I still got a bill for $98,000
for a single treatment, which didn't even fucking work.
- You majored in sociology? - Yeah.
You think that could help you sell shoes?
Yeah. I mean, you know, um…
being aware of peoples' backgrounds, uh…
demographic trends.
Your last job was at a sandwich place.
Yeah.
I love turkey sandwiches.
Same. Yeah.
But that was, uh, a year ago.
You haven't had a job in the last year?
No, it's, um, it's been kind of a weird year.
- Uh, got married. - Wow.
Um, yeah.
Actually, I, uh…
started building an app.
Cool.
Can I see it?
Uh, no, it's… it's not quite ready yet,
but maybe a couple months.
Did Mia tell you that she started to sign two new clients?
No, they're really lucky to have you.
Oh, God. I'm single as fuck.
So, uh, what do you do for work, Elliot?
I don't work.
I'm just kidding. I'm a… I'm an underwater welder.
Really?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's, uh, very dangerous.
But you're… uh, you're feeling OK? All right?
Yeah.
Uh, Mia had said that you'd been sick,
but that you're in remission now.
That's what the doctors tell me.
That's good to hear, man.
My grandma died of cancer.
I've got to pee.
What if I say, "Want a hand job" right here?
There's someone.
Yeah.
She's not gonna care.
Does that dude hit on you every day?
You're not fun.
What?
Well, I'm feeling a lot better.
That's good.
Can you look up from your phone?
What?
You're being a dick.
Do you know how many times I took care of you when you were sick?
I had cancer.
Mia, you had too many picklebacks.
It doesn't matter.
It 100% does matter.
OK, you're right. It matters.
Besides, I thought you said you were done taking care of me.
- I never said that. - Yes, you did.
You did say that. You said that life
life rolls on or whatever.
You know, that you need to… to focus on yourself.
No, I said that we both need to move forward.
And I'm fucking trying, Mia.
You know, tonight, one of your coworkers
said that her grandmother died from cancer?
I mean, wh… what am I supposed to do with that?
You can't blame me for what other people say.
Do you know the recurrence rate of Ewing's?
Do you know the long-term side-effects of radiation?
Do you know that the metal plate
keeping my fucking hips together hurts
every time I stand on it for more than five minutes.
Of course I do because I'm the one that did the research,
and you're the one that said, "Fuck statistics."
Whenever anybody looks at me, all they see is a sick person.
Because you're not giving them anything else to see.
Fuck you.
♪ Do you spare me a thought ♪ ♪ through the day? ♪
♪ Let me know, let me know ♪
♪ Let me know ♪
♪ If you just want me ♪ ♪ to stay away, let me know ♪
♪ Let me know, let me know ♪
♪ Let me know ♪
♪ Do you still want to go to France? ♪
♪ Let me know ♪
♪ Let me know, let me know ♪
♪ If you never wanna see me again ♪
♪ Let me know, let me know ♪
♪ Let me know ♪
Hey, I've been thinking about you all day.
…no, I know. We're going to Horse Bar.
Right now?
Yes, I want to get a burrito on the way.
Bro, I just saw the fattest rat in the bathroom.
I texted Mikey.
Uh, your wife just got here.
You're married?
Yeah, he is.
Mia, what are you doing here?
Will you come outside for a second?
Please.
What? Are you tracking my phone?
How'd you know where I was?
You butt dialed me.
OK. OK?
OK. What? You… you came all the way out here to tell me that?
- See you, Elliot. - Bye.
- Who the fuck is that? - Who knows? Some girl.
Did you hook up with her?
If you're gonna make accusations, I'm gonna go back inside, all right?
I'm not accusing you. You just did.
Like how you accused me of hooking up with David?
Fuck this.
- Elliot. - What?! What?
What?
Hmm?
- What are we doing? - Arguing!
Again!
We have been through…
everything together.
I love you so much.
More than anything on this fucking planet!
Why?
Why can't we get through whatever this is?
Because if I hadn't been sick,
I never would've asked you to marry me.
And you put in your emotions…
Uh, you put in your…
your… your financial, you know, prospects.
Um, you know, if you're PMS-ing or…
If I'm PMS-ing?
You wanna come home with me?
Uh, no.
Well, I can come home with you because
I'm actually crashing on a couch right now, so.
Oh, it's still a no.
Thanks for the drink, though.
Hey, wh… where are you going?
Hey… girl.
Hey. Wanna grab a coffee?
Um…
You know, I've got… I've got a lot
of work to do, so.
OK.
It's kind of blatant how you're avoiding me.
Yeah, about that. Um…
You know, I think that that was like a… like a one time thing.
And, you know, I think that, you know, you're so smart,
and… and we work together, and you're such a great boss.
Not that I want to acknowledge that you're my boss right now, but I…
Mia, I agree.
- Oh, you do. - Yeah.
And I'm kind of seeing someone right now, so we're good.
- Oh. - Let's just focus on the work
and try not to make things awkward.
Definitely.
On the same page.
Just gonna… I'll just get back on to the work.
Keep on doing what you're doing.
- Yes. - All right.
…Is not a current rate of emissions.
No, it's all emissions we've caused so far.
So, you guys moved off murder docs, huh?
Global warming is still murder.
Yeah, it's just murder of the natural world.
And that's Lauren.
She lives in your old room.
Yeah, and she eats corndogs and leaves the sticks everywhere.
- It's so gross. - So disgusting.
Can I, uh…
Could I hit that?
Inhale. Inhale. Inhale.
Yes! Now lift it.
Yes!
You've been smoking and drinking excessively?
Sometimes.
What the fuck?
I… I didn't know doctors could say "fuck" to their patients.
We can when the patient is behaving like an idiot.
I… look, can you give me any medical information?
Your esophagus is inflamed and irritated.
- That's all? - That's all.
I don't know if the cancer is going to come back.
I can only imagine how that weighs on you.
But everything's uncertain every day.
You've fought really hard to make your body whole again.
What does Mia say about all this?
Congrats on actually looking like your profile picture.
Uh…
- I'm just… I'm just being honest. - You, too.
I, uh… I hate how we all act like we don't do these things
- just based on a bunch of pictures. - Yeah.
Yeah. No, I… I guess that's true.
Yeah, I, uh… I normally swipe left, so…
Too many ripped dudes at the beach,
bumping the saturation.
Exactly.
This is, uh… this is actually my first Tinder date.
- Really? - Yeah.
I am honored, then.
I mean, I had an account before, but, um…
looked at it more conceptually.
What made you look at it, uh, not conceptually?
Oh, you know, a break up.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Me, too.
Yeah.
So, uh, wh… what happened?
I don't know. Um…
So, you're from, uh… you're from Minnesota, right?
- Nice pivot. - Thank you.
Listen, why don't we just stop this first date stuff,
and just kind of, like maybe, I don't know…
it's like the fourth date?
Can we just do that?
OK. Uh…
Well, I was married.
OK.
Well, if you don't feel comfortable, you don't have to tell me
the reason why, and we can just talk about…
Minnesota.
No, I… I was really married.
Wait, aren't you… aren't you like, uh, 23?
Yup.
You were married at what? Like, 19?
And then divorced at 20, 22?
I…
I guess, technically, I'm… I'm still married?
Uh, but we're not… we're not together
or anything.
Oh. Um…
Yeah, you might want to put that, uh, on your profile.
Andy's not in here.
How did you find out about it?
Let her answer the question.
Andy is your brother.
And he was born with you. He was your twin,
and he got an infection, and he died.
Bullshit.
He was so happy…
He was so happy.
…as they battle it out in the ring.
Oh, look at the struggle. Cherokee man…
You know how it's, like, so stressful to find
a show you wanna watch because there's so many choices.
What if we build this thing for your phone
where you just shake it, you know?
And it just spits out a title.
Like, boom! You're watching Gossip Girl.
Mm-mmm. That already exists.
Really?
What if we go back to Instajizz?
Nah, fuck Instajizz, man.
Hey, bro. Don't shit on my trillion dollar ideas, OK?
Oh, yeah? If they were trillion dollar ideas,
how come we never built them?
Because a) I'm ahead of my time, and you never truly understood my vision.
And b) coding is hard.
And c) we just never really cared that much about it.
You know, it was just cool to sound like we were entrepreneurs.
At least we got our dicks sucked.
Although, no one ever sucked my dick
because of Instajizz.
Oh, they sucked mine.
It's 'cause you got gentle eyes.
Except Mia.
Mia never sucked your dick?
No, she did.
Um… No, but it wasn't 'cause of the bullshit.
So, where's the redhead?
Yo, can you please start calling her Morgan now?
OK? We're, like, full on dating.
You called Mia "ham and cheese."
My bad.
Have you talked to her at all?
No. Why would she want to talk to me?
Uh…
I don't really know how to… how to do this.
Um…
Honestly, I feel very, very self-conscious.
You know, being here.
But hi.
I'm Elliot.
I don't wanna talk about cancer.
You know, I'm… I'm… I'm sick…
of talking about it.
And…
You know, even just then, using the word, "sick,"
it's like, fuck.
Um…
But it's the word that I say the most now,
and I just… I wanna get away from it.
Nope.
Hello?
Hey.
Um, I was just about to call you.
You… You did just call me.
Yeah. No, you're… you're right. I… because I did.
So, not a butt dial?
No. No, no, no.
I've been thinking about, you know, calling you, too.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Would you maybe wanna get together some time soon?
Hey.
- Hi. - Hi.
Hi.
You look good.
Oh, thank you.
Uh…
I'll just…
You're welcome.
You do, too.
I'm sorry. I'm nervous.
That's all right.
Uh…
How are you?
All right.
Good.
You seeing anybody?
Sorry, I just, um… I had to…
get that out there before my brain was gonna explode.
No. No, I'm not seeing anyone. Your brain can relax.
Cool.
Okay.
- Why? Are you? - No.
Both, uh, single. Single and married. Ha-ha.
Yeah, I, um, I keep telling people
I've got the Benjamin Button disease.
I'm 24, but I've already had cancer, a wife, and a separation.
I miss you.
I feel like I had to…
get that out there, too.
Elliot, um…
What? You don't… you don't miss me?
Of course I miss you.
That's good 'cause I feel like, uh…
I feel like we should try again.
You know, I'm… I'm not, uh…
high, drunk all the time.
Actually, um…
I've been going to the support group.
Dope.
Dope? Since, uh…
Since when do you say shit like dope?
I… I don't. I don't really know why I just said that.
Anyway, um, got my old job back.
You know, while I figure out the next thing…
which I know is not programming.
I'm really happy for you.
Um…
But… but I th… I think we should get a divorce.
Um…
OK.
Yeah.
Yeah? Yeah.
You know, we don't need the, uh… the label…
or whatever.
I mean, that's when things started getting weird, anyway.
And we can go back to just being a-a normal couple.
You know, just 'cause you're my ex-wife
doesn't mean you can't be my girlfriend, right?
What you said outside the bar…
I know. I know. I, um…
I fucked up.
We both fucked up.
Well, I, uh…
I take it back.
You don't have to take it back.
You said what we both didn't want to admit.
It's not that I don't love you.
I do love you.
You're my first love.
I…
I just don't…
I just don't know if you're my only love.
You're mine.
You can't know that.
Can I have a real hug?
Yeah.
Thank you.
Sorry.
It happens.
Yeah.
I'm gonna stand over here now, OK?
I guess I should go.
Bye, Mia.
Oh, where are you…?
The L.
The G.
Same stop.
Yeah, you can… you can walk in front of me.
It would make it less weird.
That would probably be more weird.
Hey, you could wear your headphones?
I don't have my headphones.
Really?
You know, I just talk to the people.
Really take in that New York texture.
Maybe. Maybe I can get that hand job?
What?!
You remember? The time on the train.
Yes.
I was drunk.
So, that's a no, then?
♪ Excuse me, but you have ♪ ♪ the same exact hair ♪
♪ Lookin' through me with that same ♪
♪ Deer-in-headlights stare ♪
♪ And to make that mistake once ♪
♪ Should not warrant ♪ ♪ that kind of response ♪
♪ I was only reminiscing ♪ ♪ on the love I believe we shared ♪
♪ I just thought you were someone I knew ♪
♪ Thought you were someone I knew ♪
♪ I just thought you were someone I knew ♪
♪ Thought you were someone I knew ♪
♪ Won't you please pardon my open ♪ ♪ arms just hangin' here? ♪
♪ I just thought you were someone I knew ♪
♪ You know they say everyone's ♪ ♪ got a lost identical twin ♪
♪ This is not the first time ♪
♪ I have seen hers again and again ♪
♪ But the biggest difference ♪
♪ Is the cold irreverence ♪
♪ Frozen over every crevice ♪ ♪ of hers I liked to jump in ♪
♪ I just thought you were someone I knew ♪
♪ Thought you were someone I knew ♪
♪ I just thought you were someone I knew ♪
♪ Talkin' to me like somebody's ♪ ♪ rude secretary ♪
♪ When I thought you were someone I knew ♪
♪ I knew it was you all along ♪
♪ All these streets have sure changed ♪
♪ But our weathered statue faces remain ♪
♪ But you ♪
♪ You won't give me the time of day ♪
♪ Your head lived in my collarbone ♪
♪ And my hands lived around your waist ♪
♪ I just thought you were someone I knew ♪
♪ Thought you were someone I knew ♪
♪ I just thought you were someone I knew ♪
♪ We took a trip to helland ♪ ♪ lived to tell its secrets ♪
♪ I just thought you were someone I knew ♪
♪ Don't start with me, baby I don't know ♪
♪ Don't start with me, baby, I don't know ♪
♪ This time I'm taking the long way home ♪
♪ Don't start with me, baby I don't know ♪
♪ Did anybody reach you the most, yeah ♪