1
00:00:31,009 --> 00:00:34,710
This is us,
meaning him and me.

2
00:00:34,847 --> 00:00:39,140
Right now we're just exhausted.
We're back from a journey.

3
00:00:39,268 --> 00:00:42,268
We saw palazzos,
vaporettos and espressos.

4
00:00:42,938 --> 00:00:48,063
We were on a journey to Italy, like
the title of a movie with a happy ending.

5
00:00:48,193 --> 00:00:53,947
Really, we were mostly in Venice
because it is the city where lovers go.

6
00:00:54,074 --> 00:00:58,652
It's also the city over water
that will end up underwater.

7
00:00:58,787 --> 00:01:04,161
Greens, ochres, pinks, blues,
even greys that shine - that's Italy.

8
00:01:04,292 --> 00:01:07,246
And the pasta... of course.

9
00:01:09,965 --> 00:01:13,250
Now we're a true couple.
Two years that we've been together.

10
00:01:13,385 --> 00:01:16,172
Two years nowadays it's almost a miracle.

11
00:01:16,304 --> 00:01:20,219
Two years of happiness
with ups and downs,

12
00:01:20,350 --> 00:01:22,473
and in-betweens, mostly.

13
00:01:23,436 --> 00:01:26,437
We just need to pick up Jean-Luc
that we dropped at my parents

14
00:01:26,565 --> 00:01:28,972
between the airport and the train station.

15
00:01:29,109 --> 00:01:31,944
Night train to Venice - that was my idea.

16
00:01:32,070 --> 00:01:35,653
So on our way back to New York
we've decided to spend two days in Paris.

17
00:01:54,968 --> 00:01:56,841
Oh, my God!

18
00:01:56,970 --> 00:02:00,054
He'll kill him. He's gonna kill him.

19
00:02:01,432 --> 00:02:03,888
Isn't that the chef who nearly stabbed me

20
00:02:04,018 --> 00:02:07,886
for putting Parmesan cheese
on my seafood pasta? Same guy.

21
00:02:08,022 --> 00:02:11,438
- It wasn't that bad.
- I had food poisoning for four days.

22
00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:14,687
- Did you enjoy any of it?
- The view from the bathroom.

23
00:02:14,821 --> 00:02:17,394
Can we call a cab? It's pouring already.

24
00:02:17,532 --> 00:02:20,367
- It's one drop.
- Well, it's gonna pour, trust me.

25
00:02:20,493 --> 00:02:23,245
You wanna call a taxi
because you're made of sugar...

26
00:02:23,371 --> 00:02:26,040
I can't get sick.
In New York I have to start work.

27
00:02:26,165 --> 00:02:27,992
- No signal.
- You're kidding.

28
00:02:28,126 --> 00:02:31,577
I'll get a sinus infection
cos diarrhoea lowers your resistance.

29
00:02:31,712 --> 00:02:34,963
- OK, there's a bus stop over there...
- No, no.

30
00:02:35,091 --> 00:02:39,883
No buses, no subways in Europe.
The terrorism and the whole thing.

31
00:02:40,012 --> 00:02:44,259
Like it's safer in New York?
Paris is fine. There's no terrorism in Paris.

32
00:02:44,392 --> 00:02:48,259
Because France has a secret deal
with the terrorist fundamentalists,

33
00:02:48,396 --> 00:02:50,223
cos France is a Muslim country

34
00:02:50,356 --> 00:02:54,519
You're a fucking psycho.
I'll try to get connection somewhere.

35
00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:57,107
Excuse me. I heard you talking.

36
00:02:57,238 --> 00:02:59,361
- You're American.
- I am indeed.

37
00:02:59,490 --> 00:03:03,737
Well, we're a group of
international Code-breakers.

38
00:03:03,869 --> 00:03:07,914
We're supposed to meet our
French delegation at the Louvre at 10am.

39
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:10,448
Do you happen to know
if it's anywhere near here?

40
00:03:10,584 --> 00:03:14,748
- Oh, yeah, actually you're really close.
- Oh, really? Oh!

41
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,917
It's so close a cab won't take you,
cos they're picky here.

42
00:03:18,050 --> 00:03:22,878
All you do is just go right down there,
make a left, make your first right,

43
00:03:23,013 --> 00:03:27,011
and then just keep going straight
for ten minutes, you'll be fine.

44
00:03:27,142 --> 00:03:28,553
- You sure?
- Yeah.

45
00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:34,309
I appreciate it so much. Americans are
so friendly. The French are just so rude.

46
00:03:34,441 --> 00:03:38,106
- It's a clich�, but it's true.
- We Americans have to stick together.

47
00:03:38,237 --> 00:03:41,855
- Well, thank you so much!
- My pleasure. Good luck.

48
00:03:41,991 --> 00:03:46,818
- Thank you. Come on, guys.
- Crack that code, huh? OK.

49
00:03:49,331 --> 00:03:52,083
- No taxi in the area.
- It's all right. We'll be fine.

50
00:03:52,209 --> 00:03:55,874
What's going on?
What's... What happened?

51
00:03:56,004 --> 00:03:59,005
They wanted to know where
the Louvre was, so I told them.

52
00:03:59,133 --> 00:04:01,172
- You know where it is?
- No.

53
00:04:01,301 --> 00:04:05,595
- You told them... But it's miles away.
- Well, now we're first in the taxi line.

54
00:04:05,722 --> 00:04:09,637
- See? Survival of the fittest.
- They're gonna go straight to the suburb.

55
00:04:09,768 --> 00:04:13,635
- They're your compatriots.
- My compatriots! They voted for Bush!

56
00:04:13,772 --> 00:04:17,022
They're on a Da Vinci tour!
They're the physical embodiment

57
00:04:17,150 --> 00:04:20,602
of all that's wrong culturally
and politically with this world.

58
00:04:20,737 --> 00:04:26,657
Maybe they'll see something other than
the Mona Lisa. Get involved in a riot.

59
00:04:26,785 --> 00:04:30,201
You're so mean, but you're so bright.

60
00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:33,082
I love you. Ohhh!

61
00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:34,833
You're so smart.

62
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,205
Ugh!

63
00:04:36,336 --> 00:04:38,376
Sinus infection.

64
00:04:40,757 --> 00:04:42,382
Oh, it's automatic.

65
00:04:46,979 --> 00:04:51,356
Can you turn the radio down?
We've been on a train for 12 hours.

66
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:52,723
We're exhausted.

67
00:04:52,902 --> 00:04:55,108
Twelve? Where from?

68
00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:56,394
Venice.

69
00:04:57,281 --> 00:05:00,780
Hate the place!
Took both my wives there.

70
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:05,782
The program about battered wives!
I want to listen to this.

71
00:05:06,165 --> 00:05:07,279
Why?

72
00:05:07,458 --> 00:05:09,664
I had two wives
and I beat them both.

73
00:05:09,835 --> 00:05:10,748
That's horrible!

74
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,419
Yeah, I was wrong...

75
00:05:13,498 --> 00:05:16,997
Paris! I was born in the 13th,
raised in the 14th,

76
00:05:17,127 --> 00:05:21,124
lived in the 9th, 10th,
11th, 12th, 19th and 20th...

77
00:05:21,256 --> 00:05:23,581
until I moved to New York.

78
00:05:24,467 --> 00:05:28,845
I'm Marion and I'm a photographer.
It's ironic since I can't see much.

79
00:05:28,972 --> 00:05:32,886
I have a birth defect on my retina -
it's just full of tiny holes.

80
00:05:33,017 --> 00:05:35,508
How can I describe to you what I see?

81
00:05:37,063 --> 00:05:39,305
There it is - my vision of the world.

82
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,726
Yes, everyone sees the world
literally differently.

83
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,567
So I gave her a good hiding myself.

84
00:05:45,619 --> 00:05:48,738
This is Jack.
He's an interior designer.

85
00:05:48,866 --> 00:05:52,698
"Kids, like rats, carry diseases. "
Something he said on our third date.

86
00:05:52,829 --> 00:05:54,239
I thought it was so...

87
00:05:54,372 --> 00:05:55,996
- Look at the light.
-..sweet.

88
00:05:56,124 --> 00:05:58,163
It's like a postcard of Paris.

89
00:05:58,292 --> 00:06:01,329
I'm the photographer,
but on this trip he took the photos.

90
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:05,045
Every moment was digitised,
immortalised from every angle.

91
00:06:05,348 --> 00:06:07,175
What's he taking pictures of?

92
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,640
Everything. Absolutely everything.

93
00:06:10,562 --> 00:06:12,768
Another terrorist attack...

94
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,221
Listen to that!

95
00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,398
Another fast-food joint
going up in smoke.

96
00:06:16,568 --> 00:06:19,438
Last week it was two sports stores,

97
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,652
and last month a supermarket.

98
00:06:21,823 --> 00:06:24,029
He's an "anti-globalization
protester".

99
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,367
He burns fast food?
I heard there's shit in their meat!

100
00:06:27,537 --> 00:06:28,652
It's right here.

101
00:06:28,948 --> 00:06:31,617
- Up here?
- All right, you go straight.

102
00:06:31,701 --> 00:06:33,740
- This way?
- One floor up.

103
00:06:34,203 --> 00:06:35,745
Elevator?

104
00:06:35,871 --> 00:06:38,160
- What?
- Elevator?

105
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:40,960
It's on the second floor.
You think you can make it?

106
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,888
Didn't your train get in at nine?

107
00:06:46,055 --> 00:06:50,385
Yeah, but with traffic, strikes...
France, what a mess!

108
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:54,474
What? Can't the poor
exploited nurses go on strike?

109
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:56,687
This isn't America!

110
00:06:56,858 --> 00:07:01,187
You still have that huge suitcase.
You'll break your back!

111
00:07:01,362 --> 00:07:03,059
You never listen, anyway.
If it's not...

112
00:07:03,111 --> 00:07:05,649
Yes, my mother is a true pain in the butt.

113
00:07:05,776 --> 00:07:09,062
but she's also the reason why
I became who I am.

114
00:07:09,913 --> 00:07:10,965
Marion.

115
00:07:11,017 --> 00:07:13,576
Marion? Marion?

116
00:07:15,710 --> 00:07:18,545
Mom, Marion's stuck again!

117
00:07:23,127 --> 00:07:24,918
Marion.

118
00:07:25,129 --> 00:07:26,955
Marion?

119
00:07:27,263 --> 00:07:29,090
Mom, is Marion a retard?

120
00:07:29,174 --> 00:07:33,717
When I was young I was a bit special,
but not special in a good way.

121
00:07:33,846 --> 00:07:37,713
I was always late everywhere
because I was stuck in my world.

122
00:07:37,850 --> 00:07:41,468
I would look at things in the courtyard,
in the streets for hours.

123
00:07:41,603 --> 00:07:46,230
I even think I could hear voices, but not
the kind that tells you to save the world.

124
00:07:46,358 --> 00:07:47,769
Other kinds of voices.

125
00:07:48,075 --> 00:07:50,401
We've got two willies!

126
00:07:51,287 --> 00:07:53,279
Move it!

127
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:56,410
Some parents would have been
seriously worried.

128
00:07:56,535 --> 00:08:01,493
The doctors had prescribed tons of
new medication, but my mother said no.

129
00:08:01,623 --> 00:08:05,288
She got me a Polaroid camera
and instead of looking at things for hours,

130
00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:07,660
I just photographed them.

131
00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:27,401
You've always done exactly
what you wanted.

132
00:08:27,865 --> 00:08:30,144
And we had to fall in line.
Really, l...

133
00:08:30,196 --> 00:08:30,981
Honey?

134
00:08:31,285 --> 00:08:32,337
Hello, madam.

135
00:08:32,389 --> 00:08:34,271
Oh, bonjour.

136
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:35,362
Are you OK?

137
00:08:35,414 --> 00:08:38,401
- Yes!
- Jack. Jack, Anna.

138
00:08:38,535 --> 00:08:41,240
I'm sorry we met so briefly on the way in.

139
00:08:41,371 --> 00:08:46,448
Yes, very short presentation. We had
to drop off a very important package:

140
00:08:46,584 --> 00:08:48,043
Jean-Luc.

141
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:51,546
Give me the pussycat...
Here, your phone!

142
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:53,421
Do you do a good voyage?

143
00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:55,673
Oh, yes, very nice. Tr�s bon.

144
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:58,719
- It was good? It's beautiful.
- Yes, very beautiful.

145
00:08:59,021 --> 00:09:03,683
Come down for lunch at one.
Don't be late. Your dad hates that!

146
00:09:04,568 --> 00:09:06,598
- How's Jean-Luc?
- Sleeping.

147
00:09:06,650 --> 00:09:09,142
- Au revoir. She's so sweet, your mother.
- I know.

148
00:09:09,274 --> 00:09:11,350
- What happened to you?
- I don't know.

149
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,402
Having a little trouble there, honey?

150
00:09:14,529 --> 00:09:18,657
I need your help. Oh! I need a strong man
to carry my suitcase.

151
00:09:18,783 --> 00:09:21,986
Oh, I thought you wanted to be
a strong, independent woman.

152
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,904
Yeah, I am a strong, independent woman.
I am a strong, independent woman.

153
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:29,041
- OK, I got it, I got it.
- Thank you.

154
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:32,787
So your big investment is an apartment
one floor up from your parents?

155
00:09:32,922 --> 00:09:36,457
- It's convenient.
- Yeah, especially if you like privacy.

156
00:09:36,592 --> 00:09:39,344
- No sarcasm in Paris.
- OK, I'll be quiet for two days.

157
00:09:45,393 --> 00:09:47,931
You like? You don't like?

158
00:09:49,397 --> 00:09:51,436
- What is it?
- Nothing.

159
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:55,645
- You don't like?
- No, it's really... It's quaint.

160
00:09:56,737 --> 00:09:58,362
- What?
- No, it's cute.

161
00:09:58,489 --> 00:10:03,531
- It's not mid-century.
- It's mid-century 15th century.

162
00:10:03,661 --> 00:10:06,448
No, it's very Parisian, I guess.

163
00:10:06,581 --> 00:10:08,988
- Is that a compliment?
- Sure.

164
00:10:09,125 --> 00:10:12,328
- It's kind of swampy in here.
- Swampy?

165
00:10:12,461 --> 00:10:15,248
Yeah, like the water at the Lido.

166
00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:18,251
- No, I can't...
- What is that smell? What is that?

167
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:20,008
- Oh, my God.
- What?!

168
00:10:20,136 --> 00:10:22,591
Honey, honey!

169
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:25,557
- Honey, what the fuck is that?
- Oh, it's a leak.

170
00:10:25,683 --> 00:10:30,760
It's an old building. There's leaks
all the time. There's no plumber in France.

171
00:10:32,690 --> 00:10:34,978
- Is that black mould?
- What's black mould?

172
00:10:35,109 --> 00:10:38,026
- The deadliest fungus, if you inhale it.
- Don't inhale.

173
00:10:38,154 --> 00:10:41,819
- It's not funny. I mean, seriously.
- All right.

174
00:10:41,949 --> 00:10:47,489
It was there when I was here in January.
It's fine. It's not black, it's green. Look.

175
00:10:47,621 --> 00:10:50,492
It's like blue cheese.
It's probably good for you.

176
00:10:50,624 --> 00:10:55,785
OK, everybody out. I'm condemning
the bathroom. It's a hot zone, a biohazard.

177
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:59,966
- OK, we'll shit in the corner of the room.
- We'll shit outside.

178
00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:03,093
Honestly, this place is like
a Petri dish for allergens.

179
00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:06,423
We have allergies
because we are too clean, OK?

180
00:11:06,557 --> 00:11:10,851
100 years ago we were covered
in parasites and we had no allergies.

181
00:11:10,978 --> 00:11:12,389
- Really?
- Yes.

182
00:11:12,521 --> 00:11:15,190
Is that the same theory
behind the French not bathing?

183
00:11:15,315 --> 00:11:16,810
Yes.

184
00:11:16,942 --> 00:11:20,192
- You sure you haven't find my lenses?
- No, I have not find it.

185
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,064
- In your bag?
- No. I don't feel well.

186
00:11:22,197 --> 00:11:25,198
Which one for... My dad?

187
00:11:25,325 --> 00:11:30,533
I don't feel well. I can't tell
if it's a migraine or if it's the flu.

188
00:11:30,664 --> 00:11:32,989
Can I use this thermometer?

189
00:11:35,752 --> 00:11:38,837
I usually don't use this one in the mouth.

190
00:11:38,964 --> 00:11:41,633
- Hm?
- I don't use this in the mouth.

191
00:11:42,259 --> 00:11:46,007
- Come on! What is wrong with you?
- What? It's a French thermometer.

192
00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:48,842
Are you five?
You still use a thermometer up your ass?

193
00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:52,177
It's the only way
to get your temperature properly.

194
00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:57,518
- Why? Why, with you? Ugh!
- I haven't used it in a few months.

195
00:11:57,649 --> 00:12:02,276
- OK, I take a shower first, all right?
- Make sure to take antibiotics first!

196
00:12:08,076 --> 00:12:12,738
I'm trying to send this design, and
I think it would be faster by regular mail.

197
00:12:12,873 --> 00:12:14,497
OK.

198
00:12:16,334 --> 00:12:22,004
- You forget how slow dial-up is.
- We'll be back in civilisation in two days.

199
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:24,967
- What?
- That bedspread is fucking ridiculous.

200
00:12:25,093 --> 00:12:28,592
- It's beautiful.
- When did you get that? Like 1982?

201
00:12:28,722 --> 00:12:30,548
'86. I don't know.

202
00:12:31,099 --> 00:12:32,297
- Don't move.
- What!

203
00:12:32,434 --> 00:12:34,058
- Freeze.
- There's a bug.

204
00:12:34,185 --> 00:12:37,519
- Looks like Nan Goldin's bed. Stay there.
- No pictures.

205
00:12:37,647 --> 00:12:40,434
- No! Oh, God...
- Perfect.

206
00:12:40,567 --> 00:12:42,606
Lie down.

207
00:12:42,735 --> 00:12:45,487
Work with me.
OK, pretend you're on drugs.

208
00:12:45,613 --> 00:12:48,069
- What drug?
- Heroin, of course.

209
00:12:48,199 --> 00:12:50,239
Perfect.

210
00:12:52,287 --> 00:12:54,326
Look at that.

211
00:12:54,455 --> 00:12:58,667
Oh, yeah, that's beautiful.
You're such a talented photographer.

212
00:12:58,793 --> 00:13:01,462
Fuck you.

213
00:13:01,588 --> 00:13:04,505
You know why people
are attracted to one another?

214
00:13:04,632 --> 00:13:08,215
- I try to kiss you and I get a lecture.
- No, I'm not kidding.

215
00:13:08,344 --> 00:13:11,594
- You tell me why.
- People of different immune systems

216
00:13:11,723 --> 00:13:17,595
attract one another, so the offspring
has a stronger combined immune system.

217
00:13:17,729 --> 00:13:19,887
Don't snore! It's important.

218
00:13:20,022 --> 00:13:23,937
- No, yeah, I was saying the same thing.
- It's interesting.

219
00:13:24,068 --> 00:13:27,603
- It's like dating public television.
- No!

220
00:13:27,738 --> 00:13:32,531
- And you don't like that?
- No, it's very educational. Really sexy.

221
00:13:32,660 --> 00:13:36,278
Anyway, it's bullshit. My parents
were in love when they had me

222
00:13:36,414 --> 00:13:38,869
and look at my immune system -
it's a wreck.

223
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,369
It was probably an intellectual attraction,

224
00:13:42,503 --> 00:13:45,539
and that's why they split up
after you were born.

225
00:13:45,673 --> 00:13:49,671
You are so sweet. So because your
parents have been together like 87 years,

226
00:13:49,802 --> 00:13:54,263
or whatever it is - 38 years -
that somehow you're genetically superior.

227
00:13:54,390 --> 00:13:58,435
I'm not saying that. You make everything
a competition. I'm barely alive.

228
00:13:58,561 --> 00:14:00,518
How do I make everything a competition?

229
00:14:00,646 --> 00:14:04,347
For example, I'm a photographer
and you keep taking pictures.

230
00:14:04,483 --> 00:14:07,852
In Venice, while I was taking a picture
of you under that bridge,

231
00:14:07,987 --> 00:14:10,941
you started taking a picture of me.

232
00:14:11,073 --> 00:14:15,486
What is this, "shit all over Jack day"?
I try to kiss you, next thing I know

233
00:14:15,619 --> 00:14:19,403
I'm genetically inferior, I'm a copycat
with no identity of my own...

234
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:23,953
- I never said you were inferior...
- Anyway, why not take it as flattery

235
00:14:24,086 --> 00:14:28,333
- that I'm interested in phot...? Aah!
- OK, I love this argument.

236
00:14:28,465 --> 00:14:33,211
Can we go on, no, because
I'm enjoying this, really? It's lovely.

237
00:14:37,725 --> 00:14:39,385
What?

238
00:14:39,518 --> 00:14:43,895
- What is it? You're scaring me.
- I'm sensing something.

239
00:14:44,022 --> 00:14:49,183
What is it? Like, I have cancer
or something? You smell a tumour?

240
00:14:49,319 --> 00:14:52,523
- I'm like a dog!
- Yes, dogs trained to smell something.

241
00:14:52,656 --> 00:14:55,859
No, I'm not a cancer-sniffing dog.
I'm sensing that we have

242
00:14:55,993 --> 00:15:00,405
very different immune systems,
and we should do something about it.

243
00:15:00,539 --> 00:15:05,117
Really? Like our immune systems are
different so our offspring would be strong.

244
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:07,291
Oh, that's nice.

245
00:15:07,421 --> 00:15:13,091
But maybe in the meantime, before we do
procreate, d'you mind getting a condom?

246
00:15:13,218 --> 00:15:15,887
- Where are they?
- Under the sink.

247
00:15:19,016 --> 00:15:22,431
When did you get these?
Circa the bedspread purchase?

248
00:15:22,561 --> 00:15:25,396
No, I got them on January.

249
00:15:25,522 --> 00:15:29,223
January? Were you planning on
cheating on me in January?

250
00:15:29,359 --> 00:15:32,645
Actually, I was planning on having sex
with you, but you cancelled

251
00:15:32,779 --> 00:15:36,647
due to an eye infection. You were
supposed to come to Paris, remember?

252
00:15:36,783 --> 00:15:41,112
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Chlamydia in the eye. So rare...

253
00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:43,406
yet so sexy.

254
00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:48,660
- What?
- What the hell is going on?

255
00:15:48,795 --> 00:15:52,496
- What is it?
- Are these things even condoms?

256
00:15:52,632 --> 00:15:54,506
- What else is it?
- I don't know.

257
00:15:54,634 --> 00:15:58,549
OK, you're gonna break it.
Don't pull it down like this from the tip.

258
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,764
- These are smaller than the ones in Italy.
- They're not.

259
00:16:01,891 --> 00:16:05,675
- OK, I give up.
- OK... You just go like this.

260
00:16:05,812 --> 00:16:08,848
- Right, this is pretty simple...
- Careful... Argh!

261
00:16:08,982 --> 00:16:12,315
I didn't touch you. Barely.

262
00:16:12,444 --> 00:16:15,528
Is this a kid-sized condom?
Do they make condoms for kids?

263
00:16:15,655 --> 00:16:18,324
- OK, it's on.
- No wonder French men are romantic.

264
00:16:18,450 --> 00:16:21,486
- That's the dumbest thing I've heard.
- OK, let's do this!

265
00:16:21,619 --> 00:16:24,704
Great. All right, yes.

266
00:16:24,831 --> 00:16:26,823
Oh, no, that's my leg... Please!

267
00:16:26,958 --> 00:16:28,369
- No.
- Oh!

268
00:16:28,501 --> 00:16:32,629
I can't see you. I could be having sex
with Gregory Peck or something.

269
00:16:32,755 --> 00:16:34,463
Well, good for you.

270
00:16:34,591 --> 00:16:36,713
OK, so much for foreplay.

271
00:16:38,386 --> 00:16:41,055
What is it? Oh, it's my mother!

272
00:16:41,438 --> 00:16:42,364
Am I disturbing you?

273
00:16:42,416 --> 00:16:43,176
It's just my mother.

274
00:16:43,607 --> 00:16:45,765
Don't come in,
we're getting changed.

275
00:16:46,068 --> 00:16:49,234
I came to see
if you've got any clothes to wash.

276
00:16:49,404 --> 00:16:52,654
- We'll bring it down later.
- OK, I'll wait.

277
00:16:52,824 --> 00:16:54,449
- You'll wait downstairs?
- Yes.

278
00:16:54,618 --> 00:16:56,278
Thanks.

279
00:16:56,620 --> 00:16:58,197
Thanks, bye.

280
00:16:58,322 --> 00:17:02,783
- Your mother has keys?
- Of course. I'm away ten months a year.

281
00:17:02,910 --> 00:17:06,742
Do you have anything to wash?
She wants to know.

282
00:17:06,873 --> 00:17:10,242
No, I don't... I don't have... No...
Oh, God...

283
00:17:10,376 --> 00:17:15,168
I gotta take a shower cos the thing
is cutting off circulation to my brain.

284
00:17:15,298 --> 00:17:17,623
- What are you talking about?
- I love you.

285
00:17:17,758 --> 00:17:19,798
Oh, nice. OK. Bye.

286
00:17:24,849 --> 00:17:25,720
Oui.

287
00:17:25,773 --> 00:17:26,347
Dad?

288
00:17:26,483 --> 00:17:29,152
- Oh, God!
- I'm going to start on the rabbit.

289
00:17:29,277 --> 00:17:30,640
I have to chop it up.

290
00:17:32,356 --> 00:17:33,898
Oh, l�, l�.

291
00:17:34,025 --> 00:17:35,851
Bon...

292
00:17:36,951 --> 00:17:37,983
All right?

293
00:17:39,370 --> 00:17:43,285
All the sparrows in the garden
have been scared off by Jean-Luc.

294
00:17:43,541 --> 00:17:46,115
Of course.
He'd gobble them up.

295
00:17:46,294 --> 00:17:49,081
You think so? But he's so sweet.

296
00:17:49,255 --> 00:17:50,714
Are you kidding?

297
00:17:51,049 --> 00:17:54,299
It's only because we're bigger
and we feed him

298
00:17:54,469 --> 00:17:56,343
that he doesn't eat us alive.

299
00:17:56,512 --> 00:17:58,172
You're so negative!

300
00:17:58,389 --> 00:17:59,469
Hasn't he put on weight?

301
00:18:00,850 --> 00:18:04,468
I had some cans of foie gras
getting past their sell-by date...

302
00:18:05,146 --> 00:18:06,605
You fed him foie gras?

303
00:18:06,773 --> 00:18:08,730
You know he only eats dry cat food.

304
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:12,648
I've had him ten years
and that's all he eats.

305
00:18:12,820 --> 00:18:14,315
Fat is bad for animals!

306
00:18:14,697 --> 00:18:16,108
He's enormous!

307
00:18:16,282 --> 00:18:17,563
He's like dad.

308
00:18:17,742 --> 00:18:21,905
You get your hands on someone
and turn them into a fat lump.

309
00:18:22,079 --> 00:18:25,365
They won't let me keep him
with me in the cabin.

310
00:18:25,541 --> 00:18:28,412
That's why I have
to keep him under 5 kilos.

311
00:18:28,586 --> 00:18:31,622
They'll put him in the luggage
compartment, drug him and...

312
00:18:31,797 --> 00:18:34,549
Lots of animals die
during the flight.

313
00:18:34,717 --> 00:18:38,003
How can you say that? I've taken care
of him for two weeks.

314
00:18:38,179 --> 00:18:39,507
I love this cat

315
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:43,808
but your dad hates him,
he calls him "eat-shit-sleep".

316
00:18:43,976 --> 00:18:46,646
He wanted to kick him out
and now you tell me...

317
00:18:46,812 --> 00:18:48,355
Calm down.

318
00:18:48,522 --> 00:18:51,096
- They'll put him in a cage!
- You're scaring him.

319
00:18:51,275 --> 00:18:52,900
They're going to kill him!

320
00:18:53,110 --> 00:18:55,103
What's going on?

321
00:18:55,564 --> 00:19:00,605
My mother's always been good at crying,
turning any situation to her advantage.

322
00:19:00,736 --> 00:19:02,859
In a few seconds
my dad will reprimand me

323
00:19:02,988 --> 00:19:06,484
and never again will I mention
that Jean-Luc has gained ten pounds.

324
00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:10,626
We couldn't go on vacation
because of that spoiled doormat!

325
00:19:11,003 --> 00:19:15,001
You say Paris is great in summer,
with all the filthy cars gone away.

326
00:19:15,257 --> 00:19:17,499
If you upset your mother,
you'll be in trouble.

327
00:19:17,676 --> 00:19:21,295
He's fat. He had them chopped off.
Like me!

328
00:19:21,472 --> 00:19:22,385
That's why I got fat!

329
00:19:22,890 --> 00:19:24,966
I had them chopped off
by your mother!

330
00:19:27,394 --> 00:19:28,343
Bastard!

331
00:19:28,972 --> 00:19:31,214
Salaud!

332
00:19:33,101 --> 00:19:37,644
- ls, uh, everything OK down there?
- Yes, why?

333
00:19:37,772 --> 00:19:40,014
- No reason.
- Are you coming down?

334
00:19:40,150 --> 00:19:43,982
- We're having lunch in 30 minutes.
- I'm a little terrified, but OK.

335
00:19:45,447 --> 00:19:47,486
All right, let's do this.

336
00:19:47,615 --> 00:19:50,189
- Hello!
- Hello! How are you?

337
00:19:50,326 --> 00:19:53,742
- Fine, thanks.
- Good to finally meet you.

338
00:19:53,837 --> 00:19:57,787
Your other cat!
He hasn't had them chopped off, huh?

339
00:19:57,792 --> 00:19:58,823
Insulted already?

340
00:19:58,926 --> 00:20:00,586
Does he understand?

341
00:20:01,296 --> 00:20:02,576
Go.

342
00:20:03,847 --> 00:20:06,469
It's very hot. Watch out.

343
00:20:07,010 --> 00:20:10,379
- Smells good. What is that?
- Yes, he's a great cook.

344
00:20:10,479 --> 00:20:11,392
Lapin.

345
00:20:11,980 --> 00:20:12,929
What's lapin?

346
00:20:15,852 --> 00:20:18,141
- Lapin.
- Bunny.

347
00:20:18,813 --> 00:20:20,971
- Oh, no.
- What?

348
00:20:21,107 --> 00:20:22,934
- Oliver.
- Who's Oliver?

349
00:20:23,067 --> 00:20:26,353
My pet bunny when I was eight.
Ravaged by a Labrador.

350
00:20:26,487 --> 00:20:30,105
- All that was left was two ears. I'll eat it.
- You don't have to.

351
00:20:30,241 --> 00:20:32,115
- Yes, I do.
- Lapin, no?

352
00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:33,413
Very good.

353
00:20:34,871 --> 00:20:37,196
- I don't want to upset the natives.
- Please.

354
00:20:37,589 --> 00:20:38,577
A thigh.

355
00:20:38,630 --> 00:20:40,116
I didn't know about Oliver.

356
00:20:40,592 --> 00:20:41,505
Plate.

357
00:20:41,794 --> 00:20:44,712
A little leg, come on. Looks like chicken.

358
00:20:44,804 --> 00:20:47,805
A small piece.
I'm used to small ones!

359
00:20:49,559 --> 00:20:50,722
- Marion?
- Some back.

360
00:20:52,062 --> 00:20:53,491
Oh, the head!

361
00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:54,629
It's good - t�te.

362
00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:55,727
For real men!

363
00:20:57,442 --> 00:20:59,020
Real men eat the head.

364
00:20:59,186 --> 00:21:02,306
- Is that the heart?
- No, that's the head.

365
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,479
He likes the head.

366
00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:08,319
- Carottes?
- Oh, carrot. Sure.

367
00:21:08,446 --> 00:21:13,191
We're gonna eat the bunny's food
as well, huh? Are his toys in there?

368
00:21:13,325 --> 00:21:20,538
Sauce? Wine black... Uh, wine wine.
Non, wine white?

369
00:21:20,666 --> 00:21:23,239
White wine? Oh, vin blanc.

370
00:21:23,377 --> 00:21:25,417
Vin blanc.

371
00:21:25,845 --> 00:21:27,441
Anna, pass your plate.

372
00:21:27,493 --> 00:21:29,669
- No, no, I don't want.
- Oh!

373
00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:31,509
What a pain in the butt!

374
00:21:31,684 --> 00:21:34,519
Got enough, dad? Is that your diet?

375
00:21:34,687 --> 00:21:36,894
Rabbit is lean meat.

376
00:21:37,065 --> 00:21:39,769
But look how much you're eating!

377
00:21:39,984 --> 00:21:42,024
And look at your fat ass!

378
00:21:43,071 --> 00:21:44,862
This guy is sick in the head!

379
00:21:45,031 --> 00:21:48,364
I've got a fat ass because
I stopped smoking 18 months ago.

380
00:21:48,534 --> 00:21:52,995
Jean not, that's enough!
Will you stop bugging her?

381
00:21:53,164 --> 00:21:56,447
She's the one bugging us!
She came from New York especially!

382
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:58,739
- What? I'm eating it!
- This has nothing to do with you.

383
00:21:58,836 --> 00:21:59,785
Shut up, asshole!

384
00:21:59,962 --> 00:22:01,540
Let's be civilized.

385
00:22:01,714 --> 00:22:04,287
He came all this way to meet you.
Talk to him!

386
00:22:04,550 --> 00:22:06,507
We'll talk to Jack, then.

387
00:22:09,639 --> 00:22:11,845
We'll talk about
American literature.

388
00:22:12,009 --> 00:22:13,503
Kerouac?

389
00:22:13,635 --> 00:22:16,802
Kerouac. Yes, I love Kerouac.
J'aime Kerouac.

390
00:22:16,930 --> 00:22:18,674
Faulkner?

391
00:22:18,807 --> 00:22:21,049
- Is he quizzing me?
- It's a welcome quiz.

392
00:22:21,184 --> 00:22:24,684
- Faulkner?
- Yes. The Sound and the Fury.

393
00:22:24,813 --> 00:22:26,473
- Quoi?
- "Le Bruit et la fureur".

394
00:22:26,607 --> 00:22:29,810
Ah, yes. Miller, Henri?

395
00:22:29,943 --> 00:22:33,644
- Henry Miller.
- Yes, yes, an expat, ahead of his time.

396
00:22:33,780 --> 00:22:35,820
- Sex?
- Sex, yes.

397
00:22:35,949 --> 00:22:40,077
Sex is good. Sexus, Plexus...

398
00:22:40,169 --> 00:22:42,181
Dad, don't start!

399
00:22:42,233 --> 00:22:43,912
- What's happening?
- Non, Jeannot!

400
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,958
Sweetie, it's OK. Don't worry.

401
00:22:47,085 --> 00:22:49,042
French write.

402
00:22:49,171 --> 00:22:50,416
Hm?

403
00:22:50,547 --> 00:22:55,256
- Speak... French writer?
- French writers, yeah.

404
00:22:55,385 --> 00:22:57,259
- Now we're doing French writers?
- Yes.

405
00:22:57,478 --> 00:22:58,343
Rimbaud.

406
00:22:58,513 --> 00:23:00,553
Ram-baud, yes. Tr�s bon.

407
00:23:00,689 --> 00:23:01,887
Rambo?

408
00:23:03,901 --> 00:23:05,728
That's how they say it in English.

409
00:23:06,062 --> 00:23:09,763
- Oh, I mispronounced.
- Ah, Rambo.

410
00:23:09,865 --> 00:23:10,980
What a bunch of idiots!

411
00:23:11,367 --> 00:23:12,232
Please!

412
00:23:12,402 --> 00:23:15,356
Highbrow humour. Hm.

413
00:23:17,449 --> 00:23:19,488
Baudelaire.

414
00:23:20,535 --> 00:23:22,991
- Good, good, good.
- Verlaine.

415
00:23:23,121 --> 00:23:25,410
- Verlaine.
- Uh-huh. Moli�re.

416
00:23:25,540 --> 00:23:28,078
Oh! Bravo.

417
00:23:28,550 --> 00:23:29,582
Not bad!

418
00:23:30,093 --> 00:23:31,125
See!

419
00:23:31,254 --> 00:23:35,168
Et Auguste Renoir - great writer?

420
00:23:37,385 --> 00:23:41,335
- He's a painter!
- Ah! Good.

421
00:23:41,472 --> 00:23:44,046
- He was trying to trick me.
- I know. He did.

422
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,369
He's not like the morons
you usually bring home.

423
00:23:48,421 --> 00:23:49,477
Can't fuck with me, man!

424
00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:50,018
Thanks a lot!

425
00:23:50,238 --> 00:23:52,685
With such a weird face
he better be smart!

426
00:23:52,737 --> 00:23:54,020
- Maman!
- What?

427
00:23:54,152 --> 00:23:55,898
Nothing.

428
00:23:55,950 --> 00:23:57,328
It's Rose.

429
00:23:58,239 --> 00:24:00,449
She's got keys too, huh?

430
00:24:00,501 --> 00:24:00,989
Hi.

431
00:24:01,166 --> 00:24:02,660
It stinks in here!

432
00:24:02,834 --> 00:24:05,835
Sorry, we didn't have time
to deodorize!

433
00:24:06,004 --> 00:24:07,831
- Hi, dad.
- You're early.

434
00:24:08,006 --> 00:24:09,436
I got out of work early.

435
00:24:09,488 --> 00:24:11,617
- Hello.
- Hi, how are you?

436
00:24:11,753 --> 00:24:13,959
- I'm Rose.
- Yes, Jack. Nice to meet you.

437
00:24:14,088 --> 00:24:15,962
Yeah, nice to meet you.

438
00:24:16,056 --> 00:24:18,973
- As attractive as in the photos!
- As nice as ever!

439
00:24:19,142 --> 00:24:22,309
- Isn't there any coffee?
- Yes, in the coffeepot.

440
00:24:22,479 --> 00:24:25,230
- See to it, huh?
- As usual!

441
00:24:25,398 --> 00:24:28,269
- She's getting worse.
- I pity the kids she takes care of.

442
00:24:28,443 --> 00:24:29,558
I can hear you!

443
00:24:30,104 --> 00:24:34,683
- Vous allez faire une balade dans Paris?
- Are we going to go visit Paris?

444
00:24:34,817 --> 00:24:37,901
Mm-hm. Yeah, yeah.

445
00:24:38,029 --> 00:24:42,607
- I would like to go see the catacombs.
- Des catacombes, oui.

446
00:24:42,742 --> 00:24:45,197
- And the... what? P�re...
- Le P�re Lachaise.

447
00:24:45,293 --> 00:24:49,836
The catacombs and a cemetery?
A lot of fun, isn't he?

448
00:24:49,999 --> 00:24:52,157
It's to see Jim Morrison's grave.

449
00:24:55,379 --> 00:24:57,621
Did I say something tacky?

450
00:24:59,175 --> 00:25:01,879
Alors, vous avez pris des photos
� Venise?

451
00:25:02,011 --> 00:25:04,881
- We took pictures in Venice... didn't we?
- Yes, many.

452
00:25:05,014 --> 00:25:09,343
- Would you like to see some pictures?
- Yes.

453
00:25:09,442 --> 00:25:12,229
Mom, do you ever use your computer?

454
00:25:12,403 --> 00:25:14,811
No. We asked Rose to teach us but...

455
00:25:14,989 --> 00:25:16,531
I haven't had time.

456
00:25:16,699 --> 00:25:20,033
You didn't show them at all?
Or find someone else to do it?

457
00:25:20,203 --> 00:25:24,366
You show up, hand out your presents,
and leave the rest to me.

458
00:25:24,540 --> 00:25:27,375
But you help people
with learning disabilities.

459
00:25:27,543 --> 00:25:31,292
Once and for all, I help children
with psychological problems,

460
00:25:31,464 --> 00:25:32,923
not retards!

461
00:25:33,091 --> 00:25:35,083
Hey, you two brats!

462
00:25:35,259 --> 00:25:39,755
Just because you can send e-miles
doesn't make you superior.

463
00:25:40,257 --> 00:25:42,084
- This is the Plaza San Marco.
- Oh!

464
00:25:42,183 --> 00:25:44,970
You can put so many photos
on this thing!

465
00:25:45,144 --> 00:25:46,466
Yes, it's digital.

466
00:25:46,518 --> 00:25:49,596
- Yes, bravo, lots of nice photos.
- Thank you.

467
00:25:49,725 --> 00:25:53,936
Yeah, I just got the camera for work,
but I like doing it so...

468
00:25:54,062 --> 00:25:56,897
- But why no balloons in these photos?
- I'm sorry?

469
00:25:56,989 --> 00:25:59,527
Rose? Why did you say that?

470
00:25:59,700 --> 00:26:02,452
It's just a joke. He didn't get it.

471
00:26:02,946 --> 00:26:05,484
- Did you show the photos to your sister?
- No!

472
00:26:05,616 --> 00:26:08,320
Quoi? No... I... told her about it.

473
00:26:08,417 --> 00:26:10,744
- You're a real pain!
- I didn't do anything!

474
00:26:10,796 --> 00:26:12,787
- Oh, yes. Good!
- What?

475
00:26:12,839 --> 00:26:13,663
Stop it, dad.

476
00:26:13,715 --> 00:26:14,952
Balloons. Photo balloons.

477
00:26:15,004 --> 00:26:17,170
No, dad, please don't!

478
00:26:17,676 --> 00:26:20,214
What a pain!
Please don't do this!

479
00:26:20,589 --> 00:26:22,332
Joli.

480
00:26:22,431 --> 00:26:25,130
Nice weenie with balloons!

481
00:26:25,182 --> 00:26:26,837
Balloons?

482
00:26:26,970 --> 00:26:29,639
- Balloons.
- Aaah!

483
00:26:29,688 --> 00:26:32,310
- You're unbelievable!
- I'm sorry.

484
00:26:32,650 --> 00:26:34,476
Nice weenie!

485
00:26:34,652 --> 00:26:35,897
Mom!

486
00:26:36,278 --> 00:26:39,398
- Really, Anna!
- You're pains, all of you!

487
00:26:39,983 --> 00:26:43,767
OK, sweetie, you know it's funny.
Sweetie, it's funny.

488
00:26:43,869 --> 00:26:45,965
Stop being overprotective.

489
00:26:46,017 --> 00:26:48,943
That's a little bird... on the...

490
00:26:49,075 --> 00:26:51,566
- Boat?
-..on the terrace of the hotel.

491
00:26:51,703 --> 00:26:53,861
Au revoir. Amusez-vous bien.

492
00:26:53,962 --> 00:26:57,794
Drop by your dad's art gallery.
There's an opening.

493
00:27:03,263 --> 00:27:05,719
Homosexuals! It's just not right.

494
00:27:06,350 --> 00:27:07,263
It's disgusting!

495
00:27:07,768 --> 00:27:10,057
Huh, Kiki? You wouldn't do that.

496
00:27:11,389 --> 00:27:13,678
Nice snorting

497
00:27:13,808 --> 00:27:17,260
- You used to like my snorting.
- I know, but I said that...

498
00:27:17,395 --> 00:27:21,891
- After two years it gets a little tired?
-..cos I was trying to get in your pants.

499
00:27:22,025 --> 00:27:25,191
After that, there was no need
to compliment you any more.

500
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,107
- Now it discusses you?
- It doesn't discuss me.

501
00:27:28,239 --> 00:27:30,991
Discuss me would be
if we were to discuss something.

502
00:27:31,117 --> 00:27:34,153
I'm sorry. I speak four languages, OK?

503
00:27:34,287 --> 00:27:40,040
Which one of them do you speak well?
Cos I've no proof you speak French well.

504
00:27:40,168 --> 00:27:43,868
For all I know, you could be stupid
in French. How would I know?

505
00:27:44,005 --> 00:27:48,465
I'm not a big death fan,
but this place is strangely undepressing.

506
00:27:48,593 --> 00:27:52,804
- I know. All the Parisians are dead here.
- That's why it's so quiet.

507
00:27:53,806 --> 00:27:56,593
- Je-rr t'aime.
- Why do you put a "khrr"?

508
00:27:56,726 --> 00:27:57,924
- Je t'aime.
- Je t'aime.

509
00:27:58,060 --> 00:27:59,768
Je t'aime.

510
00:27:59,896 --> 00:28:03,395
It's French, it's easy.
No "khrr" - it's not German.

511
00:28:03,524 --> 00:28:06,644
- O� est le steakfr-khrr-ites?
- Frites.

512
00:28:06,777 --> 00:28:09,648
O� est le steak-frites? Hm?

513
00:28:09,780 --> 00:28:12,947
Oh, it's so ugly when you speak French.

514
00:28:13,075 --> 00:28:18,070
Why are we even going there? Jim
Morrison. You don't even like the Doors.

515
00:28:18,205 --> 00:28:22,250
No, it's a famous grave though.
I'm a huge Val Kilmer fan.

516
00:28:22,376 --> 00:28:25,579
You take your photo and we go, OK?

517
00:28:25,713 --> 00:28:27,752
Pardon. Oh, pardon.

518
00:28:30,051 --> 00:28:33,550
- We're getting the party started.
- What's wrong with her?

519
00:28:33,645 --> 00:28:36,136
Are you all right, miss?

520
00:28:37,099 --> 00:28:40,219
- Come on, I'm a free spirit.
- Let's go. This is it.

521
00:28:40,352 --> 00:28:42,392
- Super cool.
- Good, super cool.

522
00:28:43,814 --> 00:28:48,275
I can't believe the catacombs were closed.
It's my favourite thing to do in Paris.

523
00:28:48,402 --> 00:28:49,682
Oh, well.

524
00:28:49,820 --> 00:28:53,818
I can't believe we've not run into
one single person I know this entire trip.

525
00:28:53,949 --> 00:28:57,733
What about the Collective Dynamics
of the 'Small-World' Network?

526
00:28:57,870 --> 00:29:02,697
"Collective Dynamics of the 'Small-World'
Network" : a book Jack read in Venice.

527
00:29:02,833 --> 00:29:06,416
Everywhere we went he was
looking for proof that this theory works.

528
00:29:06,545 --> 00:29:11,172
It's very simple: our world is small and
if you travel to the other side of the planet,

529
00:29:11,300 --> 00:29:16,211
there is a high probability you will bump
into someone who lives down your street.

530
00:29:16,346 --> 00:29:19,798
Scientifically it is proven
that it's not just chance.

531
00:29:19,933 --> 00:29:22,305
We are a whole
and everything is connected.

532
00:29:22,436 --> 00:29:27,596
The illusion of chaos in which we live
is actually orderly and definitely linked.

533
00:29:27,733 --> 00:29:31,980
But it's a theory, and Jack spent our two
weeks in Venice looking for a sign of it,

534
00:29:32,112 --> 00:29:33,523
and nothing.

535
00:29:33,663 --> 00:29:34,528
Manu!

536
00:29:34,705 --> 00:29:36,532
- Marion? Amazing!
- OK?

537
00:29:36,707 --> 00:29:38,700
I was talking about you...

538
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:40,502
- Only today.
- Really?

539
00:29:41,212 --> 00:29:42,955
So what's new?

540
00:29:43,255 --> 00:29:46,790
- Well, my book's just come out...
- Great! A novel?

541
00:29:46,967 --> 00:29:49,637
No, short stories. But... linked.

542
00:29:50,012 --> 00:29:51,127
Great!

543
00:29:51,305 --> 00:29:53,298
This is Jack. Manu.

544
00:29:53,300 --> 00:29:55,791
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, Jack.

545
00:29:55,927 --> 00:29:58,881
- You speak French?
- No.

546
00:29:58,979 --> 00:30:01,933
So that's it? You've settled
in the States for good?

547
00:30:02,191 --> 00:30:06,402
For now, yeah.
I'm with Jack and it's going well.

548
00:30:09,573 --> 00:30:11,317
What?

549
00:30:11,617 --> 00:30:14,487
Are you going to Vanessa's tonight?

550
00:30:14,662 --> 00:30:17,302
- Yes, for sure.
- Me too.

551
00:30:17,354 --> 00:30:20,111
- We're going to my friend's party tonight.
- Yeah.

552
00:30:20,209 --> 00:30:22,581
You haven't changed, it's amazing.

553
00:30:22,753 --> 00:30:25,078
It's like time has stood still.

554
00:30:25,255 --> 00:30:27,544
- Stop it!
- You decided not to age...

555
00:30:27,716 --> 00:30:31,002
Cut the bullshit.
We spent all night on a train...

556
00:30:31,178 --> 00:30:33,634
- You look gorgeous.
- Stop it.

557
00:30:33,806 --> 00:30:36,213
- I swear.
- Stop it, stop it!

558
00:30:36,725 --> 00:30:39,643
Well, we'd better go.
My dad has an opening later.

559
00:30:39,812 --> 00:30:43,346
- Jeannot. Say hello for me.
- Yeah. See you later.

560
00:30:45,643 --> 00:30:49,392
- Nice to meet you, man.
- Yeah, that was nice, homey.

561
00:30:50,815 --> 00:30:53,650
- "That was nice, homey"?
- That's funny.

562
00:30:53,776 --> 00:30:57,608
- Let's get a cab, huh?
- You wanna get a cab? OK.

563
00:30:57,739 --> 00:31:02,151
So what's the deal? That guy was
looking at you like you were a leg of lamb,

564
00:31:02,285 --> 00:31:04,776
- with a fork and knife...
- Well, I am a leg of lamb.

565
00:31:04,913 --> 00:31:07,582
I know, but you're my leg of lamb.
How do you know him?

566
00:31:07,665 --> 00:31:10,666
We met many years ago
and we had a little thing.

567
00:31:10,793 --> 00:31:14,376
I think I gave him a blow job - no big deal.

568
00:31:14,505 --> 00:31:17,791
- Really? A blow job's no big deal?
- Oh, I'm sorry.

569
00:31:17,925 --> 00:31:21,129
It's no big deal in comparison to
what's going on in the world.

570
00:31:21,262 --> 00:31:25,046
There's George Bush,
the war in Iraq, avian flu.

571
00:31:25,183 --> 00:31:30,224
And there's a blow job. You know
what I mean? In consideration...

572
00:31:30,354 --> 00:31:33,889
- Nice transition.
- It's a minor event, don't you think?

573
00:31:34,025 --> 00:31:39,529
Yeah. I'd say it's not minor, if you wanna
talk in the political scheme of things.

574
00:31:39,655 --> 00:31:46,488
A blow job, after all, brought down the
US's last chance at a healthy democracy.

575
00:31:48,247 --> 00:31:51,284
Do we have to go to this thing tonight?

576
00:31:51,417 --> 00:31:54,667
You don't wanna go? We don't have to,
but I'd love to see my friends.

577
00:31:54,795 --> 00:31:57,630
OK, no, it's fine.
Are you friends with all your exes?

578
00:31:57,757 --> 00:32:01,671
I'm friends with some of my ex.
Most of them.

579
00:32:01,802 --> 00:32:05,847
This guy is a really wonderful writer/poet.

580
00:32:05,973 --> 00:32:08,381
A French poet.

581
00:32:08,517 --> 00:32:11,187
You're not friends with any of your exes?

582
00:32:11,312 --> 00:32:15,475
- No.
- Really? I didn't know that about you.

583
00:32:15,608 --> 00:32:19,440
- When it was over, it was over.
- So if we broke up,

584
00:32:19,570 --> 00:32:21,609
you would not like to see me ever again?

585
00:32:21,739 --> 00:32:25,902
If I ran into you, I wouldn't avoid you,
but I wouldn't hang out with you, no.

586
00:32:26,035 --> 00:32:29,902
So that means you don't think I'm likeable
outside our relationship?

587
00:32:30,039 --> 00:32:32,364
Yeah, basically.

588
00:32:32,499 --> 00:32:35,584
Interesting. I'd like to be your friend
when we break up.

589
00:32:35,711 --> 00:32:38,795
- Oh, when?
- Whenever we break up... If we break up.

590
00:32:38,922 --> 00:32:44,462
- I'd like you even if we were not together.
- That's very evolved of you.

591
00:32:44,595 --> 00:32:48,177
That's the way we do it in France -
we stay close to our exes.

592
00:32:48,307 --> 00:32:51,557
France is responsible for so much
of your personal behaviour.

593
00:32:51,685 --> 00:32:54,721
- How does the government feel?
- They make me pay taxes.

594
00:32:54,855 --> 00:32:57,061
Can we stop at a pharmacy?

595
00:32:57,191 --> 00:33:00,441
My head is killing me.
I ran out of migraine medication.

596
00:33:00,569 --> 00:33:03,404
- We can get codeine over the counter?
- No!

597
00:33:03,530 --> 00:33:04,989
No? Why no?

598
00:33:05,115 --> 00:33:11,070
Because it's France. You can't buy opiates
over the counter. It's not Afghanistan.

599
00:33:11,204 --> 00:33:17,574
OK, there's no taxi here. Let's go. Maybe
we can find some heroin over the counter.

600
00:33:17,711 --> 00:33:20,914
- This is the bridge.
- I've seen Last Tango more than anybody.

601
00:33:21,048 --> 00:33:25,508
Stop there. Right there. You're doing
Brando in the opening scene, all right?

602
00:33:25,635 --> 00:33:28,720
I'm not doing Brando.
Why don't you do Brando?

603
00:33:28,847 --> 00:33:32,216
Cos you look more like Brando than I do.
I look nothing like him.

604
00:33:32,350 --> 00:33:36,265
Fingers in the ear, and then back.
You're in pain, all right?

605
00:33:36,396 --> 00:33:40,441
You're very upset. Here we go - agh.
Fingers in the ear. Agh!

606
00:33:40,567 --> 00:33:42,394
- Aaaaagh!
- Good.

607
00:33:42,819 --> 00:33:44,646
- You know what?
- What?

608
00:33:44,779 --> 00:33:48,030
Taking pictures all the time
turns you into an observer.

609
00:33:48,158 --> 00:33:51,242
It automatically
takes you out of the moment.

610
00:33:51,369 --> 00:33:55,034
For our trip to Venice
I wanted to be in the moment, with Jack.

611
00:33:55,165 --> 00:34:00,372
But, instead of kissing on the gondola,
Jack took 48 pictures on the gondola.

612
00:34:00,503 --> 00:34:03,540
Instead of holding hands
walking across Piazza San Marco,

613
00:34:03,673 --> 00:34:06,343
Jack took 72 pictures
of Piazza San Marco.

614
00:34:06,468 --> 00:34:08,756
Et cetera, et cetera.

615
00:34:19,564 --> 00:34:22,233
Which one of these looks more Godard?

616
00:34:22,358 --> 00:34:24,849
- Uh...
- Godard?

617
00:34:24,986 --> 00:34:26,813
Or Go-dahd?

618
00:34:26,946 --> 00:34:28,773
Black.

619
00:34:28,907 --> 00:34:32,157
- How do I look?
- The question is...

620
00:34:32,285 --> 00:34:34,657
is how do I look?

621
00:34:34,787 --> 00:34:37,029
- OK.
- You look great.

622
00:34:37,165 --> 00:34:40,331
- You look really good, actually.
- Not too fat or too...

623
00:34:40,460 --> 00:34:44,292
You look fat, but you look good.
You look good!

624
00:34:44,422 --> 00:34:47,589
Without your glasses,
I forgot how good you are.

625
00:34:47,717 --> 00:34:51,667
- I know. I find my contacts, finally.
- Making quite an effort, huh?

626
00:34:51,804 --> 00:34:55,387
- Huh?
- Unlike Venice. Is it for Manu?

627
00:34:55,516 --> 00:34:57,224
Manu?

628
00:34:57,351 --> 00:35:02,594
Hey, we're gonna pass by
my father's gallery on the way. Is that OK?

629
00:35:02,732 --> 00:35:06,148
Because I think you might like it.

630
00:35:06,277 --> 00:35:10,690
- Do you read the Bible?
- I have the Bible? I didn't even know.

631
00:35:18,372 --> 00:35:20,614
You have this in the Bible.

632
00:35:21,959 --> 00:35:24,035
Oh, that's, uh... Oh, yeah.

633
00:35:24,170 --> 00:35:26,625
- Uh... oh.
- No, but...

634
00:35:26,756 --> 00:35:29,626
- Ha, ha, ha, ha.
- Oh, that's so funny. You found it.

635
00:35:29,759 --> 00:35:32,546
- Yeah, yeah
- I was looking for it the other day.

636
00:35:32,678 --> 00:35:37,636
- It's, uh, whatshisname?
- I don't know. I mean, there's so many!

637
00:35:37,767 --> 00:35:40,933
- He's the boyfriend of my best friend...
- Uh?

638
00:35:41,062 --> 00:35:43,599
Jean-Philippe... Jean-Louis.

639
00:35:43,731 --> 00:35:46,815
- Jean-Fran�ois!
- Jean-Fran�ois. Jean-Fran�ois.

640
00:35:46,942 --> 00:35:49,480
That's not an ex-boyfriend. That's a friend.

641
00:35:49,612 --> 00:35:53,479
It was the 14th July, he was drunk,
I was drunk, we were all drunk.

642
00:35:53,616 --> 00:35:56,782
You should see around him.
There was, like, 20 people.

643
00:35:56,911 --> 00:35:59,911
You don't think it's offensive
to have the same picture?

644
00:36:00,039 --> 00:36:03,158
- What?
- What?! It's the same exact photo.

645
00:36:03,292 --> 00:36:05,201
As what?

646
00:36:05,336 --> 00:36:09,036
- As what?
- Yeah... Oh... No, it's not!

647
00:36:09,173 --> 00:36:13,882
It's not at all. These are blue, white
and red balloons... like 14th July.

648
00:36:14,011 --> 00:36:17,925
Is this the equivalent of mounting
different boyfriends' heads on the wall,

649
00:36:18,057 --> 00:36:21,223
but instead you take pictures
of balloons tied around cocks?

650
00:36:21,352 --> 00:36:26,938
Are there more? If I look through all of
the books will I find a catalogue of men?

651
00:36:27,066 --> 00:36:31,478
- Will it start raining balloons on cocks?
- No! It's a coincidence.

652
00:36:31,612 --> 00:36:34,019
Come on. It's no big deal.

653
00:36:34,156 --> 00:36:36,647
No, I just feel really... special.

654
00:36:36,783 --> 00:36:40,532
You're special to me. That photo we did
was special, not like this one.

655
00:36:40,662 --> 00:36:45,905
This one was like, I was drunk,
everyone was drunk... You're offended.

656
00:36:46,043 --> 00:36:48,082
- Yeah.
- You're very special.

657
00:36:48,211 --> 00:36:51,711
Like in the retarded way,
which is why I'm going out with you.

658
00:36:52,966 --> 00:36:55,718
- You OK, booby?
- Yeah.

659
00:36:55,810 --> 00:36:57,055
Are you American?

660
00:36:57,895 --> 00:36:59,971
He is, I'm French.
We live in New York.

661
00:37:00,272 --> 00:37:02,064
Cool! I love New York.

662
00:37:02,233 --> 00:37:05,954
I went last year.
I loved downtown, Soho...

663
00:37:06,006 --> 00:37:08,221
- Cool, man.
- Super cool.

664
00:37:10,157 --> 00:37:12,529
- Are you married?
- No.

665
00:37:12,827 --> 00:37:14,451
- Do you have children?
- No.

666
00:37:14,829 --> 00:37:16,157
Really? How old are you?

667
00:37:16,705 --> 00:37:19,078
We're all friends here, right?

668
00:37:19,750 --> 00:37:21,541
Yeah. I'm 35.

669
00:37:21,710 --> 00:37:24,036
Don't wait too long.
Won't he give you one?

670
00:37:24,421 --> 00:37:25,702
No, it's me.

671
00:37:25,881 --> 00:37:28,170
No, no... I don't believe that.

672
00:37:28,509 --> 00:37:31,794
All women want children.
It's in their nature.

673
00:37:31,971 --> 00:37:34,129
If he doesn't want to,

674
00:37:34,306 --> 00:37:36,465
I can help!
It's up to you, of course.

675
00:37:36,642 --> 00:37:39,726
I make beautiful kids.
So if you want a Brad Pitt

676
00:37:39,895 --> 00:37:41,437
or a George Clooney.
It's up to you.

677
00:37:42,022 --> 00:37:43,303
You know who to call.

678
00:37:43,475 --> 00:37:46,429
He's just saying
how beautiful his kids are.

679
00:37:46,561 --> 00:37:48,850
Hm, that's funny.

680
00:37:48,946 --> 00:37:51,697
I'm just saying because...
you're not bad.

681
00:37:51,865 --> 00:37:53,443
You look like
that American actress...

682
00:37:53,617 --> 00:37:55,942
She's married to that guy
from Fatal Attraction. Douglas!

683
00:37:56,112 --> 00:37:59,279
I look like Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Catherine Zeta-Jones?

684
00:37:59,373 --> 00:38:00,784
That's the one!

685
00:38:00,784 --> 00:38:03,868
Great, we have a blind cab driver.

686
00:38:03,961 --> 00:38:06,452
But I'm blonde
and I don't look like her.

687
00:38:06,630 --> 00:38:10,462
But you've got exactly
the same face, sparkling eyes...

688
00:38:10,634 --> 00:38:12,840
You're like twin sisters.

689
00:38:13,095 --> 00:38:15,716
Except you're more beautiful,
of course.

690
00:38:33,024 --> 00:38:34,851
- Jack.
- Jack. Enchant�.

691
00:38:34,984 --> 00:38:37,143
- He's the artist.
- Cette toile...

692
00:38:37,278 --> 00:38:40,813
- Oh, fucking angels.
- Sunshine is fucking, yes.

693
00:38:40,948 --> 00:38:45,491
Hugo is fucking the ass
of a... middle-class French.

694
00:38:46,044 --> 00:38:47,991
'68, at the barricades!

695
00:38:48,043 --> 00:38:49,622
Bam, bam, bam!

696
00:38:49,749 --> 00:38:54,624
That's Anna,
because Michel was with Anna.

697
00:38:54,754 --> 00:38:58,253
They shared the same woman for a while.
With my mother, they had sex.

698
00:38:58,382 --> 00:39:00,090
- Of course they did.
- Anna.

699
00:39:00,217 --> 00:39:02,590
Amant, amant. L'amant, l'amant.

700
00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:06,303
- Lover. The lover.
- The lover. Yeah.

701
00:39:06,432 --> 00:39:11,427
- They are all touching each other. It's...
- A chicken, chicken, chicken.

702
00:39:11,562 --> 00:39:15,560
Sure, you've gotta have chicken.
Yeah, chicken, sex.

703
00:39:17,401 --> 00:39:20,568
- Jeannot, Jeannot.
- No, no, no.

704
00:39:21,238 --> 00:39:23,694
- French!
- Yeah, but I get migraines.

705
00:39:23,832 --> 00:39:26,406
Marion, "migraine"?
What's he saying?

706
00:39:26,458 --> 00:39:27,608
He gets headaches.

707
00:39:27,752 --> 00:39:29,792
Speak French, goddammit!

708
00:39:29,963 --> 00:39:31,920
Are you nuts?
You'll scare him.

709
00:39:33,424 --> 00:39:35,797
Red wine gives him migraines.

710
00:39:36,135 --> 00:39:38,673
- The exhibition's fabulous, dad.
- Really, you like it?

711
00:39:39,548 --> 00:39:44,459
- It's a man who's pregnant having a baby.
- Like the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.

712
00:39:44,595 --> 00:39:45,793
Hermaphrodite.

713
00:39:45,937 --> 00:39:48,938
Dad, show him my favorites.

714
00:39:50,191 --> 00:39:52,729
I'll leave you with Jack.
You take care of him.

715
00:39:53,319 --> 00:39:55,857
But we can't understand each other.

716
00:39:55,981 --> 00:39:57,938
- Heu, pigs.
- Uh-huh.

717
00:39:58,067 --> 00:40:01,352
- Pigs with some sort of salami.
- Yes.

718
00:40:01,904 --> 00:40:05,688
- What?
- Ooh! Ooh! Aah, aah!

719
00:40:05,824 --> 00:40:08,149
Aah, aah! Aah, aah, aah!

720
00:40:08,285 --> 00:40:10,527
Marion? Marion?

721
00:40:10,662 --> 00:40:12,821
- Yes? What's going on?
- Your father...

722
00:40:12,956 --> 00:40:16,491
Cunnilingus. Cunnilingus. French.

723
00:40:16,627 --> 00:40:20,541
- Cunnilingus.
- I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry.

724
00:40:22,257 --> 00:40:23,455
Where you going?

725
00:40:23,599 --> 00:40:25,391
- How are you?
- Fine, and you?

726
00:40:25,559 --> 00:40:26,840
Yeah, fine.

727
00:40:34,694 --> 00:40:37,730
Goodbye, Jack. See you soon.

728
00:40:38,065 --> 00:40:40,603
Hein? Au revoir.

729
00:40:55,707 --> 00:40:57,332
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.

730
00:40:57,459 --> 00:41:00,211
- Where you going?
- I'm done here. See you at Vanessa?

731
00:41:00,337 --> 00:41:02,495
- Yeah.
- I wanted to tell you

732
00:41:02,631 --> 00:41:08,965
I think it's wrong what Marion did,
showing the pictures of you to the family.

733
00:41:09,095 --> 00:41:12,180
- Yeah, well...
- It's wrong. It's not right.

734
00:41:12,307 --> 00:41:17,432
It showed no respect
for your "intimity" as a couple.

735
00:41:17,562 --> 00:41:21,607
Intimity? Oh, intimacy. Yeah.
No, I know. I'm not crazy, right?

736
00:41:21,733 --> 00:41:23,144
No?

737
00:41:23,276 --> 00:41:25,482
Ce tableau l�-bas...

738
00:41:25,612 --> 00:41:31,068
Si on �tait dans l'expression de
la violence, c'est-�-dire une esp�ce de...

739
00:41:31,659 --> 00:41:33,699
- Take care.
- OK.

740
00:41:40,210 --> 00:41:43,910
- What are you doing?
- I needed some air. It's stuffy in there.

741
00:41:44,047 --> 00:41:47,213
- I know. It's hot. You wanna go?
- Yeah, you ready?

742
00:41:47,342 --> 00:41:49,168
- You say goodbye to my dad?
- Yeah.

743
00:41:49,302 --> 00:41:51,627
- OK. You OK?
- Yup, well, yeah.

744
00:41:54,223 --> 00:41:57,758
I think it was really wrong
you showed that picture to your family.

745
00:41:57,894 --> 00:42:01,512
It shows a total lack of respect
for our intimacy.

746
00:42:01,648 --> 00:42:05,016
Oh, your picture! But it's so funny.

747
00:42:05,151 --> 00:42:07,440
It's totally inappropriate!

748
00:42:07,570 --> 00:42:09,895
My dad loved it.
He thought it was hilarious.

749
00:42:10,031 --> 00:42:15,274
From the work in his gallery it doesn't
surprise me. I don't like being laughed at.

750
00:42:16,079 --> 00:42:19,578
- Come on.
- I never take subways in New York.

751
00:42:19,707 --> 00:42:23,787
There is no chance
of a terrorist attack right now.

752
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:27,419
- Everyone's happy.
- They don't look happy.

753
00:42:27,548 --> 00:42:30,419
- Hm?
- They don't look happy.

754
00:42:30,551 --> 00:42:32,591
It's OK. It's all right.

755
00:42:48,694 --> 00:42:50,734
It's OK.

756
00:43:11,550 --> 00:43:13,590
I got it.

757
00:43:20,559 --> 00:43:22,219
Didn't work.

758
00:43:22,353 --> 00:43:24,392
Maybe another face?

759
00:43:42,372 --> 00:43:44,828
- �a va?
- H�!

760
00:43:48,337 --> 00:43:52,204
- Hello, bonjour.
- Jack, mon ami. Vanessa, my friend.

761
00:43:52,341 --> 00:43:54,629
- Nice to meet you.
- You the new boyfriend?

762
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:56,799
- What's your name?
- Sandra.

763
00:43:56,929 --> 00:44:01,176
New boyfriend? Uh, not that new,
but all right, you know.

764
00:44:01,308 --> 00:44:04,095
Somewhat used, yeah.

765
00:44:04,227 --> 00:44:05,223
Hi.

766
00:44:06,438 --> 00:44:08,478
- Are you OK?
- Oh, yeah, very good.

767
00:44:08,607 --> 00:44:11,940
- I'm eating hot dogs, I've got a beer.
- Oh, good.

768
00:44:12,736 --> 00:44:15,653
- You want some more food?
- I'm OK, honey. I'm 35.

769
00:44:15,781 --> 00:44:17,820
OK, fine.

770
00:44:18,784 --> 00:44:22,733
She still breast-feeds me,
but don't tell anybody.

771
00:44:23,003 --> 00:44:27,500
Elves came to help me one day
when I was looking for something

772
00:44:27,675 --> 00:44:28,920
and they found it for me.

773
00:44:29,093 --> 00:44:31,335
- Bullshit!
- I swear it's true!

774
00:44:32,172 --> 00:44:37,166
By the way, did you notice how
most woman have their pussy formatted,

775
00:44:37,302 --> 00:44:40,801
like they have that horrible cut, you know?

776
00:44:40,931 --> 00:44:43,682
The subway ticket.

777
00:44:43,808 --> 00:44:48,102
- Subway ticket?
- Yeah, it's the "ticket de m�tro", we call it.

778
00:44:48,229 --> 00:44:51,017
- It's a narrow rectangle.
- Oh, landing strip.

779
00:44:51,149 --> 00:44:52,976
- I hate it.
- You don't like that.

780
00:44:53,109 --> 00:44:55,019
It's horrible.

781
00:44:55,153 --> 00:44:59,614
- I actually call it "Hitler's moustache".
- Wow! You really hate it!

782
00:44:59,741 --> 00:45:05,115
When you look at the thing like this
I go: It's horrible.

783
00:45:05,246 --> 00:45:07,702
It always makes my cock back away.

784
00:45:08,833 --> 00:45:12,617
- No? It's not the right term?
- No...

785
00:45:16,174 --> 00:45:21,963
- You know when it gets scared or cold?
- Oh, yes. Scared, I guess? Cold.

786
00:45:22,096 --> 00:45:24,422
Maybe Americans
don't have that problem.

787
00:45:24,557 --> 00:45:28,769
You're never scared of
entering hostile territories.

788
00:45:31,230 --> 00:45:35,145
And, by the way, I'm Mathieu.
Nice to meet you.

789
00:45:36,653 --> 00:45:41,113
- Hey, sweetie.
- Guy's talking about fascist vaginas.

790
00:45:41,240 --> 00:45:43,067
- �a va, toi?
- �a va!

791
00:45:43,208 --> 00:45:44,833
I saw you from over there.

792
00:45:45,001 --> 00:45:47,575
You're doing an exhibition?
Photos?

793
00:45:47,754 --> 00:45:49,830
A bit more conceptual.

794
00:45:50,006 --> 00:45:51,916
Sort of Bill Viola,

795
00:45:52,134 --> 00:45:55,253
but more sexual!
You'd like it.

796
00:45:55,679 --> 00:45:56,418
Manu!

797
00:45:56,470 --> 00:45:58,502
- What?
- He's doing an exhibition.

798
00:45:58,633 --> 00:46:02,002
- He's a really interesting artist.
- Oh, yeah. Ex-boyfriend?

799
00:46:02,136 --> 00:46:04,805
- No!
- You sure?

800
00:46:04,889 --> 00:46:07,095
That'd be a record.

801
00:46:07,225 --> 00:46:10,142
- Oh, Manu!
- You don't have to speak to him.

802
00:46:10,269 --> 00:46:12,096
No, I want to. I love Manu.

803
00:46:13,856 --> 00:46:18,814
I always thought that a small lie, if it has
no repercussions on anything or anyone,

804
00:46:18,945 --> 00:46:20,771
is not really a lie.

805
00:46:20,905 --> 00:46:25,905
You have to make a diagram, evaluating
the pros and cons of the consequences,

806
00:46:25,957 --> 00:46:28,427
D - C E I T

807
00:46:28,479 --> 00:46:30,492
and especially if there's a chance
the lie might be uncovered.

808
00:46:30,623 --> 00:46:32,532
- Hey!
- Hey, man, how are you?

809
00:46:32,666 --> 00:46:35,240
- Oh! OK. Sure, OK.
- What's up?

810
00:46:35,377 --> 00:46:37,666
- Not much. How you doin'?
- I'm OK.

811
00:46:37,797 --> 00:46:40,963
- She told you we used to be together?
- Yes.

812
00:46:41,091 --> 00:46:47,461
But it was, like, 1 5 years ago,
so it's no big deal at all, really.

813
00:46:47,598 --> 00:46:50,171
- She was 19.
- Ah, just a child.

814
00:46:50,309 --> 00:46:54,176
I gave her her first orgasm
through intercourse.

815
00:46:54,313 --> 00:46:58,145
Oh, no, this is rude. I know when I'm rude,
this is rude. I'm sorry about that.

816
00:46:58,275 --> 00:47:01,893
Oh, no, no, no. Hey, look, you paved
the way for the rest of us, right?

817
00:47:02,029 --> 00:47:05,528
- I drink to that.
- Let's toast to that.

818
00:47:05,658 --> 00:47:09,821
Anyway, it wasn't even
a big love story or whatever.

819
00:47:09,953 --> 00:47:14,117
- More like brother and sister.
- Oh. A brother and sister that have sex.

820
00:47:14,249 --> 00:47:16,919
- Yeah, no big deal.
- Well, to each his own.

821
00:47:17,044 --> 00:47:20,294
I have to just go get the... the thing...

822
00:47:20,422 --> 00:47:22,249
I love that guy. Go get it.

823
00:47:22,382 --> 00:47:25,965
- What is it?
- Sole blow job, huh? You had sex.

824
00:47:26,094 --> 00:47:27,719
- Who?
- Manu.

825
00:47:27,846 --> 00:47:31,926
No! Well, yeah... Just vaguely.

826
00:47:32,059 --> 00:47:34,182
Vaguely? What is that, just the tip?

827
00:47:34,311 --> 00:47:37,312
- I don't see what the point of lying is.
- I didn't lie.

828
00:47:37,439 --> 00:47:42,979
You did. Not to mention he told me he was
the first person to give you an orgasm.

829
00:47:43,111 --> 00:47:44,736
- Sound familiar?
- No...

830
00:47:44,863 --> 00:47:48,149
- Rings a bell?
- I told him that to make him feel better.

831
00:47:48,283 --> 00:47:51,699
- Right, which is exactly what you told me.
- Did I?

832
00:47:51,828 --> 00:47:53,951
- Oh, my God.
- But it's true with you.

833
00:47:54,081 --> 00:47:58,659
- Is it amnesia?
- No, booby, don't be... all crabby like this.

834
00:47:58,794 --> 00:48:02,838
Please, don't be jealous. You knew
I wasn't a virgin when I met you. I was 33.

835
00:48:02,964 --> 00:48:07,543
OK, that's not what I'm talking about.
I'm just talking about the lying.

836
00:48:07,677 --> 00:48:09,504
OK, I'm gonna get some dip.

837
00:48:09,638 --> 00:48:16,435
I'm a child psychologist. I work with
children in the 16th and Neuilly-sur-Seine.

838
00:48:16,561 --> 00:48:20,393
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Rich children, with money - problems.

839
00:48:20,523 --> 00:48:23,524
Yeah, that happens.
That sounds very fascinating.

840
00:48:23,652 --> 00:48:29,654
One time - I have to tell you this story -
I was working with this kid in my office

841
00:48:29,783 --> 00:48:33,033
- and I had to go to the toilets.
- Uh-huh.

842
00:48:33,161 --> 00:48:37,538
And when I came back
my chair was all wet.

843
00:48:37,665 --> 00:48:40,750
Oh-oh, that little...

844
00:48:40,877 --> 00:48:43,961
- rat. He had peed on it.
- Oh.

845
00:48:44,089 --> 00:48:46,959
I was so... I was so mad.

846
00:48:48,426 --> 00:48:52,887
The only thing I could think about
after that is that I just wanted to cut it off.

847
00:48:53,014 --> 00:48:55,386
I just wanted to cut it off.

848
00:48:55,517 --> 00:48:58,601
- Quit your job or...?
- No!

849
00:48:58,728 --> 00:49:03,189
- I wanted to cut off his little penis.
- Oh, his little penis. Oh, boy.

850
00:49:23,218 --> 00:49:26,669
I really like this salad.
Are there mussels in it?

851
00:49:27,973 --> 00:49:30,049
I can't take it.
We fight all the time.

852
00:49:30,176 --> 00:49:35,597
- You go to the temple sometimes?
- No. In fact, I'm not really Jewish.

853
00:49:35,723 --> 00:49:39,555
My mother was brought up Catholic,
even though I have a Jewish last name,

854
00:49:39,685 --> 00:49:44,063
- so technically not Jewish.
- Your father is Jewish, so you Jewish too.

855
00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:46,229
You're a happy, hairy, Jewish man.

856
00:49:46,359 --> 00:49:50,570
Do you think Hitler would have let you go
because your ma is not Jewish?

857
00:49:50,696 --> 00:49:54,824
Doesn't change anything.
You'd be put in a camp by all these guys.

858
00:49:54,951 --> 00:49:58,284
OK, all right. Yeah, I never liked camp.

859
00:49:58,412 --> 00:50:02,624
By the way, I'll be in your apartment
for a couple of days. Marion invited me.

860
00:50:02,750 --> 00:50:06,830
- We got a real small one-bedroom.
- I'll bring foie gras.

861
00:50:06,962 --> 00:50:12,004
I feel that I'm your brother,
and what's mine is just yours, man.

862
00:50:12,134 --> 00:50:15,254
Does that mean that what's mine is yours?

863
00:50:15,387 --> 00:50:19,516
- If you wanna give, I'll take it.
- Really? So this applies to everything?

864
00:50:19,642 --> 00:50:23,591
Let me just explain something to you.
I'm American, right?

865
00:50:23,729 --> 00:50:29,483
And in America what's mine is mine.
See, my first religion is private property.

866
00:50:29,610 --> 00:50:33,773
Don't trespass.
Don't touch my shit, or I'll kill you.

867
00:50:33,906 --> 00:50:36,397
- Ha, ha! OK?
- That's good.

868
00:50:36,533 --> 00:50:39,902
I like that man. See you in August.
I love your humour.

869
00:50:40,037 --> 00:50:43,904
You told this paranoid crazy person
he could stay at our place in August?

870
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:49,913
- No, I said he could stay if we were away.
- He thinks our home's the Promised Land!

871
00:50:50,972 --> 00:50:52,929
I was talking to Jack.
Nice guy.

872
00:50:53,099 --> 00:50:54,048
Yeah, nice.

873
00:50:54,225 --> 00:50:57,309
Not uptight, not too American.
No broom up his ass.

874
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:00,889
Tattoos all over,
but I guess you must like that.

875
00:51:01,566 --> 00:51:03,605
Well, he's been in jail so...

876
00:51:03,985 --> 00:51:07,769
- A financial thing? Enron...
- No, he did eight years.

877
00:51:07,947 --> 00:51:10,438
Homicide. First-degree murder.

878
00:51:10,658 --> 00:51:13,231
This guy was staying
with him and his girlfriend.

879
00:51:13,411 --> 00:51:14,869
Jack was 19 and he...

880
00:51:16,205 --> 00:51:18,577
He has anger-management issues.

881
00:51:18,749 --> 00:51:21,750
He invited me to stay
a few days in August but...

882
00:51:21,919 --> 00:51:24,375
I wasn't sure I'd be able
to make it.

883
00:51:24,588 --> 00:51:25,537
That sucks!

884
00:51:25,756 --> 00:51:27,832
I'm going to get another drink.

885
00:51:32,506 --> 00:51:37,666
I wanna remember the least romantic day
in Parisian history.

886
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:42,853
All these off-the wall projects,
I couldn't do them here.

887
00:51:43,023 --> 00:51:44,815
I had to, I had to...

888
00:51:44,984 --> 00:51:48,187
These old perverts wanted me
to blow them. Disgusting!

889
00:51:48,362 --> 00:51:50,520
That's disgusting.

890
00:51:50,698 --> 00:51:53,367
You didn't have to blow anyone
to make it?

891
00:51:53,534 --> 00:51:58,445
- In art you don't have to blow?
- No, you don't have to blow, but...

892
00:51:59,081 --> 00:52:02,331
- You have to lick a bit!
- Yeah, that's it!

893
00:52:05,004 --> 00:52:07,791
She's totally empty now.

894
00:52:08,841 --> 00:52:10,003
Shit!

895
00:52:10,259 --> 00:52:12,251
My contact lens.

896
00:52:17,057 --> 00:52:18,006
There it is.

897
00:52:24,481 --> 00:52:25,940
- You got it?
- Yeah.

898
00:52:26,108 --> 00:52:26,854
Great!

899
00:52:29,236 --> 00:52:30,516
I'll put it back in.

900
00:52:31,572 --> 00:52:34,572
Hey, are you OK?
Don't fall.

901
00:53:03,721 --> 00:53:05,548
Marion?

902
00:53:10,895 --> 00:53:12,722
Marion?

903
00:53:15,942 --> 00:53:19,145
- Oh, my God... Oh, sweetie.
- What's going on?

904
00:53:19,278 --> 00:53:22,896
- I don't feel good. I don't feel good.
- What's the matter?

905
00:53:23,039 --> 00:53:24,320
The mussels.

906
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,669
I've just remembered, I'm allergic.

907
00:53:27,836 --> 00:53:29,034
I ate mussels, didn't l?

908
00:53:29,497 --> 00:53:32,948
No, no, we had mussels
last month on Long Island.

909
00:53:33,084 --> 00:53:36,583
But it was American mussels.
Maybe I'm allergic to French mussels.

910
00:53:36,712 --> 00:53:39,168
- Someone call 911! Is it 911 here?
- No!

911
00:53:39,305 --> 00:53:41,046
I'm allergic to French mussels.

912
00:53:41,098 --> 00:53:42,838
Call "Je-suis-allergique-moolah"!

913
00:53:42,968 --> 00:53:44,083
- Wait.
- What?

914
00:53:44,220 --> 00:53:46,675
- I don't have a pulse.
- You do. You're alive.

915
00:53:46,813 --> 00:53:48,555
I don't have a pulse!

916
00:53:48,607 --> 00:53:51,594
- I'm dead!
- No, you're not. You're talking.

917
00:53:56,948 --> 00:53:58,656
You had a dizzy spell!

918
00:53:58,825 --> 00:54:00,568
- I had no pulse!
- Breathe deeply.

919
00:54:01,119 --> 00:54:05,282
I had something stuck in my throat,
something hairy.

920
00:54:05,957 --> 00:54:10,370
I'm allergic to French mussels,
you have to give me an injection!

921
00:54:10,545 --> 00:54:12,537
You ate too much, that's all.

922
00:54:12,714 --> 00:54:14,837
- Drink some water...
- I'm scared, doctor!

923
00:54:15,008 --> 00:54:17,249
Get some fresh air, you'll be fine.

924
00:54:17,510 --> 00:54:19,291
Your blood pressure's perfect.

925
00:54:19,343 --> 00:54:21,503
Jack! I'm alive, booby.

926
00:54:21,632 --> 00:54:24,586
Yeah, I know you are.
I could tell by all the talking.

927
00:54:24,718 --> 00:54:26,343
- Yes.
- Yeah...

928
00:54:28,263 --> 00:54:31,798
Hey, do you have anything for sinuses?
Antihistamine?

929
00:54:31,934 --> 00:54:35,219
Actually, no. But she'll be fine,
she'll be OK.

930
00:54:35,354 --> 00:54:36,978
Yeah, I know.

931
00:54:38,948 --> 00:54:43,526
Another Arab. The last one I took
jumped out without paying.

932
00:54:43,786 --> 00:54:45,411
The other day I had some Germans.

933
00:54:45,913 --> 00:54:47,242
Never again!

934
00:54:47,415 --> 00:54:50,036
They had sausages in their bags.
It still stinks!

935
00:54:50,376 --> 00:54:52,822
Nothing but Romanian scum!

936
00:54:52,874 --> 00:54:55,499
Did you enjoy talking to my sister?

937
00:54:55,582 --> 00:54:58,038
I mean, you barely spoke to anyone else.

938
00:54:58,168 --> 00:55:03,542
That's not true. I talked to
Mathieu and Manu and Sandra.

939
00:55:03,674 --> 00:55:06,165
They were charming.

940
00:55:06,301 --> 00:55:09,006
Charming as in "charming"?
Or are you sarcastic?

941
00:55:09,137 --> 00:55:12,055
- No, they were lovely.
- I can't tell with you.

942
00:55:13,399 --> 00:55:16,151
Where's your friend from?
He doesn't speak French.

943
00:55:16,485 --> 00:55:17,944
He's American.

944
00:55:18,237 --> 00:55:19,779
American?

945
00:55:20,114 --> 00:55:22,984
- You don't speak English.
- No, I don't.

946
00:55:23,158 --> 00:55:26,325
- You don't speak many languages.
- What?

947
00:55:26,912 --> 00:55:28,572
I speak French, that's enough, OK?

948
00:55:28,747 --> 00:55:33,540
You don't want us in your taxi
because we're not speaking French?

949
00:55:34,545 --> 00:55:38,080
Who do you pick up in your taxi?
You don't like Germans...

950
00:55:38,966 --> 00:55:41,042
Arabs? No, you don't like Arabs.

951
00:55:41,385 --> 00:55:44,552
The Romanians?
Send them home with their whores!

952
00:55:44,722 --> 00:55:45,920
And gas the Jews!

953
00:55:46,098 --> 00:55:47,640
Hey, I never said that!

954
00:55:47,808 --> 00:55:51,094
Gas chambers were an invention
to get our money!

955
00:55:51,437 --> 00:55:54,141
Are you sick in the head?
Listen to yourself!

956
00:55:54,314 --> 00:55:57,730
Hey, dumb blonde,
who do you think you're talking to?

957
00:55:58,026 --> 00:55:59,935
You're the fucking dumb blond!

958
00:55:59,987 --> 00:56:02,973
- Hey, hey.
- Sweetie, it's OK. It's under control.

959
00:56:03,108 --> 00:56:08,184
We're dealing with a fucking psychopath,
Nazi, fucking racist, asshole,

960
00:56:08,321 --> 00:56:13,825
and that's OK because you know what?
That's France. We are in France.

961
00:56:13,952 --> 00:56:17,534
Welcome to France.
Welcome to France. Welcome to France.

962
00:56:17,664 --> 00:56:20,071
- �a va, sweetie?
- Fascist!

963
00:56:20,215 --> 00:56:21,709
We're getting out here.

964
00:56:21,883 --> 00:56:26,795
Before you get out you pay me,
or we go straight to the cops.

965
00:56:26,972 --> 00:56:30,471
We'll pay you, asshole!
We're rich, we're Americans!

966
00:56:30,642 --> 00:56:33,311
You shut your mouth!

967
00:56:33,478 --> 00:56:35,886
- I'll kick your ass!
- Whose ass you gonna kick?

968
00:56:35,938 --> 00:56:38,470
Uh, over here. Whoa.
This is fine. This is good right here.

969
00:56:38,522 --> 00:56:39,108
You with the beard, shut up!

970
00:56:41,069 --> 00:56:43,774
I'm just gonna find a spot to park,

971
00:56:43,947 --> 00:56:48,241
and then we'll have a talk...
little woman.

972
00:56:48,535 --> 00:56:50,112
We're gonna talk
about your little woman?

973
00:56:50,287 --> 00:56:54,154
- No, I said you, little woman!
- I thought you meant your wife.

974
00:56:54,332 --> 00:56:56,574
Because I heard
your wife's fucking an Arab.

975
00:56:58,336 --> 00:57:02,204
Thank you so much.
That was very educational.

976
00:57:02,382 --> 00:57:03,497
Thank you.

977
00:57:04,592 --> 00:57:06,188
- Goodnight.
- Fuck you!

978
00:57:06,240 --> 00:57:09,296
- Good night. Thanks.
- Bonne nuit, merci beaucoup

979
00:57:09,348 --> 00:57:10,397
Bitch! Go get fucked
by your Yank!

980
00:57:10,449 --> 00:57:15,839
- What is wrong with you?
- The guy was a racist.

981
00:57:15,971 --> 00:57:19,222
When we get back to the States
we're checking you in to

982
00:57:19,350 --> 00:57:22,386
an anger-management-slash-rehab clinic.

983
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:27,182
I didn't even get angry.
I mean, is it OK to be racist?

984
00:57:28,275 --> 00:57:30,315
At least Rose is alive.

985
00:57:33,489 --> 00:57:35,528
Smells like lamb in here.

986
00:57:35,658 --> 00:57:38,493
- This whole city smells like lamb.
- Uh-huh.

987
00:57:40,621 --> 00:57:42,281
What is this?

988
00:57:42,414 --> 00:57:45,249
- Did your mother do this?
- Our laundry.

989
00:57:45,376 --> 00:57:50,121
- Oh, that's sweet.
- Oh. I tell her not to, but she can't help it.

990
00:57:51,632 --> 00:57:54,123
She irons jeans? Who irons jeans?

991
00:57:54,259 --> 00:57:58,471
Ironing jeans is her favourite thing
in the world. It's nice.

992
00:58:00,224 --> 00:58:02,263
- You know.
- I thought she was a hippy.

993
00:58:02,393 --> 00:58:06,556
But eventually her mother habits
started creeping in on her.

994
00:58:11,860 --> 00:58:16,024
- OK, this is what I'm talking about.
- What? I'm trying to get on top.

995
00:58:16,156 --> 00:58:18,315
- I know.
- You keep fighting it.

996
00:58:18,450 --> 00:58:20,906
Yeah, cos you always wanna get on top.

997
00:58:21,036 --> 00:58:24,203
What do you mean?
But that's how I like to do it.

998
00:58:24,331 --> 00:58:28,625
That's how you like to do it,
but I'm here too. I'm not a human dildo.

999
00:58:28,752 --> 00:58:30,495
You're not?

1000
00:58:30,629 --> 00:58:35,255
I'm serious. For all this talk about
women being objectified, oversexualised,

1001
00:58:35,384 --> 00:58:38,135
being pieces of meat
and baby-making machines,

1002
00:58:38,261 --> 00:58:40,634
it's men who are pieces of meat.

1003
00:58:40,764 --> 00:58:45,011
It's true, cos there's such emphasis
placed on the female orgasm.

1004
00:58:45,143 --> 00:58:49,936
What's the best position for the woman?
It should be a two-way street.

1005
00:58:50,065 --> 00:58:55,486
I really feel for you. It must be horrible
to be a man and be used and be an object.

1006
00:58:55,612 --> 00:58:58,862
I really support your cause.
You should call Amnesty.

1007
00:58:58,990 --> 00:59:01,446
- I'm not in the mood any more.
- No, no, no.

1008
00:59:01,576 --> 00:59:05,788
How d'you want me to have sex with you?
No, I'm not doing this right now.

1009
00:59:05,914 --> 00:59:08,701
- Let's do it from behind.
- No?

1010
00:59:08,833 --> 00:59:13,495
OK? I wanna do it on top and you keep...
OK, listen, now I'm traumatised.

1011
00:59:13,630 --> 00:59:17,675
I've been rejected. You know what it is
for a woman to be rejected?

1012
00:59:17,801 --> 00:59:23,139
No, it's over. I'll probably never eat again.
I'm probably bulimic or anorexic.

1013
00:59:23,264 --> 00:59:25,091
- No, no, no.
- Leave me alone.

1014
00:59:25,225 --> 00:59:30,350
- We haven't made love the entire trip.
- Well, yeah! Who wasn't in the mood?

1015
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:35,142
I was on the bowl! Did you wanna mount
me while I was shitting my guts out?

1016
00:59:35,276 --> 00:59:38,194
Don't. I can't hear you say
"shitting" any more.

1017
00:59:38,321 --> 00:59:41,441
I'm too tired to fight.
Can we do it tomorrow? Thank you.

1018
00:59:41,574 --> 00:59:45,952
I'm gonna sleep with the cat.
He's much sexier anyway.

1019
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:20,945
Jeannot, there's water everywhere!

1020
01:00:20,997 --> 01:00:23,437
- What? What?
- Oh, my God. I don't know.

1021
01:00:23,574 --> 01:00:26,860
- They're screaming.
- Ow! What are you doing?

1022
01:00:27,169 --> 01:00:31,629
- Look at the carpet!
- Call the fire department!

1023
01:00:31,798 --> 01:00:34,419
- What is it?
- A pipe burst.

1024
01:00:34,593 --> 01:00:36,751
I'll cut the electricity.

1025
01:00:37,679 --> 01:00:39,138
They're on their way.

1026
01:00:39,306 --> 01:00:43,137
They told me to turn off the water.
Where's the main inlet?

1027
01:00:43,310 --> 01:00:47,058
I've no idea!
Go ask Mrs. Schindling.

1028
01:00:47,230 --> 01:00:48,558
- She knows?
- Yes!

1029
01:00:49,392 --> 01:00:52,725
Oh, there's a water pipe
that broke downstairs.

1030
01:00:52,853 --> 01:00:55,427
They're on their way.

1031
01:00:55,564 --> 01:00:59,099
- Who?
- The firemen.

1032
01:00:59,235 --> 01:01:03,398
- Oh. I've got a hangover.
- I'm gonna help. OK.

1033
01:01:03,705 --> 01:01:06,077
- Mom, do you need help?
- Shit!

1034
01:01:06,416 --> 01:01:07,614
OK.

1035
01:01:08,452 --> 01:01:10,077
Bonjour.

1036
01:01:10,378 --> 01:01:12,584
Sorry, we're firemen, not plumbers.

1037
01:01:12,797 --> 01:01:14,339
Shit, shit!

1038
01:01:15,049 --> 01:01:16,876
Sorry about my mom.

1039
01:01:17,176 --> 01:01:18,719
You live upstairs?

1040
01:01:19,012 --> 01:01:21,550
Yes, upstairs.
But I live in New York.

1041
01:01:22,599 --> 01:01:25,172
They have awesome fire trucks!

1042
01:01:25,893 --> 01:01:26,889
Fucking shit!

1043
01:01:27,061 --> 01:01:29,469
Those are great sweaters.
Can you buy them anywhere?

1044
01:01:29,939 --> 01:01:32,098
It's our uniform, given to us.

1045
01:01:32,275 --> 01:01:35,311
I think you can find them
on the internet now.

1046
01:01:39,365 --> 01:01:42,070
- It's nice wool.
- Touch it.

1047
01:01:42,243 --> 01:01:44,152
- It's great wool.
- No, it's OK.

1048
01:01:44,328 --> 01:01:45,657
Yeah, go on!

1049
01:01:47,206 --> 01:01:48,237
Not bad, huh?

1050
01:01:48,416 --> 01:01:49,614
Good quality!

1051
01:01:50,710 --> 01:01:51,872
Scottish wool!

1052
01:01:56,465 --> 01:01:58,541
What are they still doing here?

1053
01:01:58,718 --> 01:02:01,090
Help me instead of flirting!

1054
01:02:01,262 --> 01:02:03,385
We'd better go. Thanks.

1055
01:02:06,517 --> 01:02:10,515
Next time we'll call a plumber,
not the firemen. Thanks.

1056
01:02:10,688 --> 01:02:13,226
- Have a nice day.
- You too. Goodbye.

1057
01:02:14,184 --> 01:02:17,635
Oh, hey, guys. How you doin'?
Jack. Enchant�.

1058
01:02:17,771 --> 01:02:19,395
- Salut.
- Jack. How you doin'?

1059
01:02:19,523 --> 01:02:22,440
Um... can I touch too?

1060
01:02:22,567 --> 01:02:24,441
- You... hm?
- Muscles?

1061
01:02:24,569 --> 01:02:26,313
- Heu...
- Whoa!

1062
01:02:26,446 --> 01:02:30,314
- �a va, �a va.
- OK. Ooh!

1063
01:02:30,450 --> 01:02:34,151
- Bonne journ�e.
- Oh. Oh-oh. All right.

1064
01:02:34,287 --> 01:02:36,031
Ooh!

1065
01:02:36,164 --> 01:02:37,017
Nice.

1066
01:02:37,069 --> 01:02:38,005
Something wrong with that guy!

1067
01:02:43,046 --> 01:02:45,122
Wow.

1068
01:02:45,257 --> 01:02:48,127
It's finally under control.
I'm soaking wet.

1069
01:02:48,260 --> 01:02:50,299
- I bet you are!
- Oh!

1070
01:02:52,646 --> 01:02:53,560
Coming.

1071
01:02:53,939 --> 01:02:56,975
Bring your American to the market,
to see some real food!

1072
01:02:57,151 --> 01:02:58,977
I'll have a shower first.

1073
01:02:59,813 --> 01:03:03,395
- Do you want to come? To the market?
- I have a terrible hangover.

1074
01:03:03,525 --> 01:03:07,273
- Spend some alone-time with your dad.
- He asked you to come.

1075
01:03:07,404 --> 01:03:09,645
How do I know? He speaks French.

1076
01:03:09,781 --> 01:03:13,826
It's one of my favourite things to do.
I wanna share this with you. Please!

1077
01:03:13,952 --> 01:03:17,036
- Yes, yes, yes. OK.
- Thank you.

1078
01:03:19,124 --> 01:03:22,374
- Then we'll go to brunch.
- Oh, I feel sick though.

1079
01:03:24,595 --> 01:03:25,709
Chaute.

1080
01:03:26,722 --> 01:03:29,001
- Chaud.
- Yes, it's hot.

1081
01:03:29,053 --> 01:03:32,508
- Shout. Shout.
- Shout. Raargh!

1082
01:03:32,637 --> 01:03:35,887
- Chochotte.
- ll a aim� sa visite dans Paris hier?

1083
01:03:36,015 --> 01:03:39,930
- Did you like visiting Paris?
- Oh. Yes, very nice.

1084
01:03:40,061 --> 01:03:41,685
Il aime Jim Morrison?

1085
01:03:41,813 --> 01:03:45,762
- Do you like Jim Morrison?
- Not really, no.

1086
01:03:46,074 --> 01:03:49,608
- So why did he go to see his grave?
- It's a tourist thing.

1087
01:03:49,660 --> 01:03:51,071
It's a touristical thing.

1088
01:03:51,371 --> 01:03:54,705
- Does he know?
- No, I haven't told him.

1089
01:03:54,875 --> 01:03:57,413
I'll take this opportunity
to tell you.

1090
01:03:57,586 --> 01:04:01,002
The next time you go on vacation,

1091
01:04:01,173 --> 01:04:04,339
- leave your cat somewhere else.
- What do you mean?

1092
01:04:04,509 --> 01:04:05,754
What's the problem?

1093
01:04:05,927 --> 01:04:10,174
Every day at 5 am
he wants to get in the bathroom.

1094
01:04:10,348 --> 01:04:15,094
I told you he likes running water.

1095
01:04:15,763 --> 01:04:17,074
He just keyed a car.

1096
01:04:17,126 --> 01:04:18,186
That cat is low maintenance.

1097
01:04:19,691 --> 01:04:20,604
Worse than a kid.

1098
01:04:20,900 --> 01:04:24,286
- Are you going to have one?
- Don't bug me.

1099
01:04:24,338 --> 01:04:26,350
- What is it, sweetie?
- He keyed a car. He's doing it again!

1100
01:04:26,402 --> 01:04:26,570
Look how this one's parked!

1101
01:04:28,275 --> 01:04:32,736
- Well, it's right on the sidewalk!
- Is that like a French ticket?

1102
01:04:32,863 --> 01:04:37,821
- Is it legal here to key the car?
- Cars on the sidewalk, it's his thing.

1103
01:04:38,626 --> 01:04:40,368
Look at that one!

1104
01:04:40,420 --> 01:04:42,743
- What? Oh, no.
- He's gonna key that one, yeah.

1105
01:04:42,873 --> 01:04:46,953
- Well, stop the man.
- What do you mean? I can't stop him.

1106
01:04:48,178 --> 01:04:51,511
Dad, stop it!
Do it at night if you have to.

1107
01:04:51,681 --> 01:04:54,421
You're making Jack uncomfortable.
He doesn't like it.

1108
01:04:54,473 --> 01:04:57,926
- Can we pick up the pace a little?
- Car bad. Car bad.

1109
01:04:58,055 --> 01:05:01,471
- He doesn't like cars.
- Apparently, no.

1110
01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:03,011
- Pollution.
- Huh?

1111
01:05:03,143 --> 01:05:06,144
- Pollution.
- Yeah. He should run for office.

1112
01:05:13,119 --> 01:05:14,234
Cornflowers.

1113
01:05:14,662 --> 01:05:18,327
Yes, cornflowers.
I'll come back for them later.

1114
01:05:18,499 --> 01:05:22,034
I won't pay you with my body today,
my daughter's with me!

1115
01:05:22,454 --> 01:05:25,325
No sleep. No sleep.
Went to a party - soir�e.

1116
01:05:25,457 --> 01:05:27,616
- No sleep?
- Soir�e.

1117
01:05:27,751 --> 01:05:30,242
- Wait a minute. No sleep.
- No sleep?

1118
01:05:30,553 --> 01:05:33,922
"Sleep" not "slip"!
He doesn't sleep in a nighty!

1119
01:05:34,383 --> 01:05:36,541
- Oh, l�, l�.
- Oh, Jack.

1120
01:05:36,677 --> 01:05:38,341
Oh, God! Oh, my God!

1121
01:05:38,393 --> 01:05:39,263
Pig.

1122
01:05:39,437 --> 01:05:40,884
He was suckling last night.

1123
01:05:40,936 --> 01:05:44,934
- Oh, my God. That's so disturbing.
- Look what the French did to Babe.

1124
01:05:45,060 --> 01:05:49,389
- Ah, it's so sad.
- Jack, look, look, look.

1125
01:05:49,697 --> 01:05:51,394
- What's that tongue?
- Calf.

1126
01:05:51,447 --> 01:05:53,938
- Langue. Lllll-angue.
- Oh!

1127
01:05:54,069 --> 01:05:59,858
- Tongue of veal. Look at this.
- Yeah, no, I see it.

1128
01:05:59,991 --> 01:06:01,901
Oh!

1129
01:06:02,035 --> 01:06:04,704
- Agneau de lait.
- Hm?

1130
01:06:04,830 --> 01:06:07,665
Agneau de lait. Baah! Baah!

1131
01:06:07,791 --> 01:06:09,415
- Oh.
- Baby lamb.

1132
01:06:09,543 --> 01:06:13,872
That's sweet the way he personifies
the skinned baby animal.

1133
01:06:14,005 --> 01:06:16,331
Vous me gardez la t�te.

1134
01:06:16,466 --> 01:06:19,171
- I'm not doing so well.
- Really?

1135
01:06:19,302 --> 01:06:23,217
Yeah. I feel like I might
have to go back to the apartment.

1136
01:06:23,348 --> 01:06:27,809
- OK, cos you're feeling a little sick.
- I stayed up till four watching M.

1137
01:06:27,936 --> 01:06:32,397
I'm getting paranoid - all the skinned
animals. I feel I'm gonna get lynched.

1138
01:06:33,240 --> 01:06:35,114
I'm sick.

1139
01:06:36,535 --> 01:06:40,200
- He has a bit of a cold.
- A hangover?

1140
01:06:40,573 --> 01:06:43,989
I'm sorry. But I love this place very much.

1141
01:06:44,119 --> 01:06:46,195
OK, OK. You take care.

1142
01:06:46,663 --> 01:06:48,739
OK. All right. You feel better.

1143
01:06:48,873 --> 01:06:51,411
- You've got the keys, right?
- Yeah. Bye-bye.

1144
01:06:51,543 --> 01:06:53,369
Au revoir.

1145
01:06:53,677 --> 01:06:55,919
- He's sick?
- Just a cold.

1146
01:06:56,096 --> 01:06:59,097
Let's go
to the organic vegetables stall.

1147
01:07:08,066 --> 01:07:10,189
1 new message

1148
01:07:32,792 --> 01:07:36,208
You're not going to tell your mother
about this, OK?

1149
01:07:36,337 --> 01:07:39,089
I shouldn't do this.

1150
01:07:39,389 --> 01:07:42,639
You make me as hard as wood!
Mathieu

1151
01:07:49,274 --> 01:07:50,685
Hello, madam.

1152
01:07:50,859 --> 01:07:52,722
Sorry, I thought
you were at the market.

1153
01:07:52,774 --> 01:07:56,180
Oh, they're still at the market.
I came back to shower.

1154
01:07:56,489 --> 01:07:58,980
I washed your shirts.
You don't mind?

1155
01:07:59,159 --> 01:08:00,190
Thanks very much.

1156
01:08:00,242 --> 01:08:03,029
That's so nice of you.
Very nice. Very nice.

1157
01:08:03,155 --> 01:08:06,655
Jeannot very angry with me.

1158
01:08:07,576 --> 01:08:11,444
Mad at me, because of Jim Morrison.

1159
01:08:11,997 --> 01:08:16,743
- He doesn't like the Doors?
- Because me with Jim...

1160
01:08:18,963 --> 01:08:20,208
Yes.

1161
01:08:20,339 --> 01:08:22,166
You...?

1162
01:08:22,925 --> 01:08:25,961
- Oui.
- You and Jim? Oh.

1163
01:08:26,269 --> 01:08:28,760
I had a short affair with him.

1164
01:08:28,812 --> 01:08:31,254
In '69.

1165
01:08:31,392 --> 01:08:35,639
Many people were very happy
with their body.

1166
01:08:36,654 --> 01:08:38,396
No Aids, no death...

1167
01:08:38,448 --> 01:08:40,985
Sex fun. Everyone with everyone.

1168
01:08:41,110 --> 01:08:43,683
Oh!
The mother's a slut too.

1169
01:08:46,448 --> 01:08:49,651
No, that's a beautiful story.

1170
01:08:49,785 --> 01:08:51,991
And do you know after?

1171
01:08:52,295 --> 01:08:54,241
Abortion movement...

1172
01:08:54,294 --> 01:08:57,996
- For women?
- Oh, the Women's Lib, yeah.

1173
01:08:58,301 --> 01:08:59,958
The 343 Bitches movement...

1174
01:09:00,010 --> 01:09:02,104
I was one. Do you know that?

1175
01:09:02,157 --> 01:09:03,125
I was one of the bitches!

1176
01:09:03,177 --> 01:09:04,671
Oh, I see, I see.

1177
01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:07,754
Can you pass me the cat, please?

1178
01:09:07,886 --> 01:09:12,797
- Oh, Jean-Luc? Oh, I think he's...
- Ah, he's here!

1179
01:09:12,933 --> 01:09:14,344
- Au revoir.
- Bye-bye.

1180
01:09:14,476 --> 01:09:16,516
Au revoir. Merci.

1181
01:09:19,565 --> 01:09:21,604
You got the door?

1182
01:09:23,443 --> 01:09:25,483
Unbelievable.

1183
01:09:32,418 --> 01:09:34,494
Lovely flowers, miss!

1184
01:09:35,296 --> 01:09:38,712
Stop hitting
on every girl, dad, please!

1185
01:09:38,883 --> 01:09:41,718
- Hitting on them?
- Anything that moves!

1186
01:09:42,052 --> 01:09:43,926
I only hit on pretty girls!

1187
01:09:46,432 --> 01:09:49,765
You loved it, you hussy
Having me lick your pussy...

1188
01:09:58,736 --> 01:10:00,527
I'm your salami for life

1189
01:10:12,291 --> 01:10:15,457
- What music would you like?
- What do you have?

1190
01:10:15,627 --> 01:10:17,205
Brel, Ferre, Trenet,

1191
01:10:18,088 --> 01:10:18,918
Barbara.

1192
01:10:19,673 --> 01:10:22,923
- Whatever you prefer.
- I'll put something on for you.

1193
01:10:25,922 --> 01:10:27,962
It's Music Day today.

1194
01:10:29,843 --> 01:10:33,377
It's, like, people play around,
they play music everywhere.

1195
01:10:33,513 --> 01:10:36,182
- Oh.
- It's a special day.

1196
01:10:36,266 --> 01:10:38,342
We should walk around, no?

1197
01:10:43,815 --> 01:10:45,642
Grizzly.

1198
01:10:56,703 --> 01:11:01,329
- You brought your camera.
- Yeah, I might take a few photos.

1199
01:11:05,552 --> 01:11:07,295
And tons of cake servers

1200
01:11:07,471 --> 01:11:09,463
A 10-speed blender

1201
01:11:10,265 --> 01:11:12,554
Just for your vinaigrettes

1202
01:11:13,268 --> 01:11:15,557
A beautiful air-purifier

1203
01:11:16,563 --> 01:11:18,390
That eats all smells

1204
01:11:19,733 --> 01:11:22,734
Heated blankets
Waffle irons

1205
01:11:22,944 --> 01:11:24,522
An airplane for two

1206
01:11:25,614 --> 01:11:26,850
And we'll be happy!

1207
01:11:26,902 --> 01:11:29,858
- What are you gonna eat?
- Mm, I'm not that hungry.

1208
01:11:29,986 --> 01:11:33,568
- You don't wanna eat anything?
- No, I'm fine.

1209
01:11:33,698 --> 01:11:35,737
- You sure?
- Yeah.

1210
01:11:41,838 --> 01:11:42,917
Hi.

1211
01:11:49,554 --> 01:11:52,223
Still writing
for that right-wing rag?

1212
01:11:53,551 --> 01:11:55,709
- What?
- Nothing. I'm just saying hello.

1213
01:11:55,845 --> 01:11:58,418
- D'you know those guys?
- Just a little bit.

1214
01:11:58,730 --> 01:11:59,512
OK, Edouard?

1215
01:12:00,857 --> 01:12:03,395
At least you're faithful
to your friends.

1216
01:12:03,693 --> 01:12:04,856
Shall we go?

1217
01:12:05,987 --> 01:12:07,066
Have you decided?

1218
01:12:07,940 --> 01:12:10,692
- Can I just get a bowl of ground glass?
- Pardon?

1219
01:12:12,160 --> 01:12:13,654
A beer, please.

1220
01:12:14,162 --> 01:12:15,148
An omelet.

1221
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:16,981
Une omelette.

1222
01:12:17,116 --> 01:12:19,441
- C'est parti.
- Merci.

1223
01:12:21,836 --> 01:12:24,161
How was your trip
to the Philippines?

1224
01:12:25,040 --> 01:12:26,238
I'm Jack.

1225
01:12:26,549 --> 01:12:27,331
Gael.

1226
01:12:28,426 --> 01:12:29,041
Edouard.

1227
01:12:29,093 --> 01:12:31,167
Enchant�.

1228
01:12:31,296 --> 01:12:33,669
- That's how we do it in America.
- One second.

1229
01:12:33,799 --> 01:12:35,293
OK.

1230
01:12:36,058 --> 01:12:38,181
The trip you dumped me for,
to be "free".

1231
01:12:38,853 --> 01:12:40,181
Let's go.

1232
01:12:41,063 --> 01:12:43,851
Ex-pats never get over
those exotic countries.

1233
01:12:44,233 --> 01:12:45,977
It's like former colonials.

1234
01:12:46,152 --> 01:12:48,228
Life's so good there.
The women are...

1235
01:12:48,404 --> 01:12:51,025
so gentle, so young.

1236
01:12:51,198 --> 01:12:51,981
Finished?

1237
01:12:52,491 --> 01:12:53,156
It speaks!

1238
01:12:53,326 --> 01:12:55,152
You've grown some balls.

1239
01:12:55,328 --> 01:12:56,407
Interesting!

1240
01:12:56,579 --> 01:12:58,073
You couldn't handle me
dumping you.

1241
01:12:58,247 --> 01:13:00,453
What I couldn't handle
was something else!

1242
01:13:00,624 --> 01:13:01,988
But I better not say.

1243
01:13:02,040 --> 01:13:04,829
- Should I leave?
- I'm sorry. It's gonna be fine.

1244
01:13:04,955 --> 01:13:08,620
Why don't you just tell me what's
going on, as a courtesy? No? Nothing.

1245
01:13:08,750 --> 01:13:10,375
OK. This is fun.

1246
01:13:10,676 --> 01:13:13,926
You're not that dull.
I found that out later on.

1247
01:13:14,346 --> 01:13:16,006
You weren't my type, period.

1248
01:13:16,223 --> 01:13:18,097
Wanna know what his type is?

1249
01:13:18,267 --> 01:13:19,131
Shut up!

1250
01:13:19,184 --> 01:13:20,380
OK... OK...

1251
01:13:20,512 --> 01:13:22,718
Non, �a va. Tout va bien.

1252
01:13:23,397 --> 01:13:27,062
No, I'm not his type.
He worked for an NGO in Thailand,

1253
01:13:27,234 --> 01:13:28,776
and screwed 12-year-olds!

1254
01:13:30,321 --> 01:13:33,690
A 30-year-old is less sexy
than a "woman" of 12!

1255
01:13:33,866 --> 01:13:35,942
You're crazy,
it's all in your head.

1256
01:13:36,118 --> 01:13:37,696
Oh, yes, I forgot.

1257
01:13:38,245 --> 01:13:39,276
He explained to me.

1258
01:13:39,455 --> 01:13:42,372
We judge it with our Western minds.
We shouldn't.

1259
01:13:43,250 --> 01:13:45,077
It's different over there.

1260
01:13:45,252 --> 01:13:48,751
It's normal for women
and children to be prostitutes.

1261
01:13:48,922 --> 01:13:52,967
It's their culture. You shouldn't
feel guilty about screwing them.

1262
01:13:53,135 --> 01:13:54,166
It's true.

1263
01:13:54,344 --> 01:13:58,294
You pretend to help the Third World
but screw them like everyone else!

1264
01:13:58,474 --> 01:14:00,466
Just because I ditched you!

1265
01:14:01,393 --> 01:14:04,228
All I wanted was a chick
who can shut up.

1266
01:14:04,396 --> 01:14:06,270
A 12-year-old
knows how to do that.

1267
01:14:06,440 --> 01:14:07,685
But I don't!

1268
01:14:07,858 --> 01:14:10,978
Edouard, he screwed
the love of your life

1269
01:14:11,153 --> 01:14:12,389
on vacation.

1270
01:14:12,442 --> 01:14:14,436
Oh?

1271
01:14:14,948 --> 01:14:16,822
Oh, darn it!

1272
01:14:16,992 --> 01:14:19,400
He didn't... You never told him?

1273
01:14:19,578 --> 01:14:21,369
Oh, I'm sorry, really!

1274
01:14:21,788 --> 01:14:22,488
Shut up,

1275
01:14:22,664 --> 01:14:23,779
cunt!

1276
01:14:27,870 --> 01:14:30,788
- What's going on? What are you doing?
- It's OK. I'm fine!

1277
01:14:30,915 --> 01:14:33,704
- What are you doing?
- I'm fine. �a va. C'est bon.

1278
01:14:35,552 --> 01:14:37,130
I'm calm now.

1279
01:14:37,630 --> 01:14:40,714
I'm OK, sweetie. I'm OK. I'm totally cool.

1280
01:14:40,842 --> 01:14:43,167
Everything's in contro...

1281
01:14:44,478 --> 01:14:45,343
That's enough!

1282
01:14:47,689 --> 01:14:51,473
- We didn't break anything.
- Go on, get outta here!

1283
01:14:51,985 --> 01:14:56,314
This shows France in a great light!

1284
01:14:57,282 --> 01:14:58,313
Tourists!

1285
01:14:58,818 --> 01:15:00,894
- What?
- What the hell is wrong with you?

1286
01:15:01,028 --> 01:15:05,358
- I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
- Honestly! You're like a crazy person.

1287
01:15:05,491 --> 01:15:07,982
- Don't say that!
- You had crazy eyes.

1288
01:15:08,119 --> 01:15:10,242
- Are you Mike Tyson?
- I'm not!

1289
01:15:10,371 --> 01:15:12,410
- I'm dating Mike Tyson.
- No, you're not!

1290
01:15:14,834 --> 01:15:21,370
It was a guy I dated that did something so
horrible. No, no, listen to me. So horrible.

1291
01:15:21,507 --> 01:15:24,461
- It was not like a regular thing.
- When? When?

1292
01:15:24,593 --> 01:15:26,919
Seven... seven... seven years ago.

1293
01:15:27,054 --> 01:15:31,597
Seven years ago!
And you're still this pissed?! Oh, man.

1294
01:15:31,725 --> 01:15:34,929
He did something despicable.
He represents everything I hate.

1295
01:15:35,062 --> 01:15:38,348
He's part of this bourgeoisie.
He did something so wrong...

1296
01:15:38,482 --> 01:15:41,816
- Here we go. Right, OK.
- Lying and doing terrible things,...

1297
01:15:41,944 --> 01:15:46,155
- I don't care, I don't care!
-..Iike part of this post-colonial bullshit!

1298
01:15:46,282 --> 01:15:49,152
I don't care. It doesn't warrant
that kind of behaviour.

1299
01:15:49,285 --> 01:15:54,409
You have an impulse-control disorder and
need to be medicated. That's the problem.

1300
01:15:54,540 --> 01:15:57,410
I was in control. I was just...

1301
01:15:58,711 --> 01:16:00,121
I was...

1302
01:16:00,254 --> 01:16:03,753
OK, I was angry,
but I'll never get angry again.

1303
01:16:03,882 --> 01:16:10,003
I lost my temper cos he did something
so wrong. He had sex with children.

1304
01:16:10,139 --> 01:16:13,923
- You know how to pick 'em, honey.
- It was wrong to throw us out.

1305
01:16:14,393 --> 01:16:20,063
You think it was wrong to throw us out?
We're lucky we don't get shot! Honestly!

1306
01:16:20,190 --> 01:16:24,235
- They don't shoot people in France.
- Bullshit. That's another fallacy.

1307
01:16:24,361 --> 01:16:26,817
But anyway, um, so...

1308
01:16:27,489 --> 01:16:30,609
- So that was another ex?
- Yeah.

1309
01:16:30,742 --> 01:16:35,155
All right. No big deal. Run into a couple
of exes - that's not a big deal, right?

1310
01:16:35,289 --> 01:16:39,452
- Yeah, why would it be a big deal?
- Is an affair a big deal to you?

1311
01:16:39,584 --> 01:16:42,336
- Yes, of course.
- Yeah? OK.

1312
01:16:42,462 --> 01:16:45,297
- What?
- So is the affair with this guy a big deal?

1313
01:16:45,424 --> 01:16:47,879
- Who?
- With Mathieu?

1314
01:16:51,096 --> 01:16:53,135
- What?
- Mm-hm.

1315
01:16:54,141 --> 01:16:59,930
I left my phone in Paris. It's why I picked it
up when we came from New York, right?

1316
01:17:00,063 --> 01:17:05,437
So... so... My mom gave it to my sister,
and she had an affair with him.

1317
01:17:05,569 --> 01:17:10,527
- So he left it for my sister, the messages.
- Right. OK, not bad, not bad.

1318
01:17:10,657 --> 01:17:15,283
Um, try this one with slightly more feeling.
I'm not sure I bought that one.

1319
01:17:15,412 --> 01:17:19,659
Honestly! You must think
I'm the stupidest person on the planet.

1320
01:17:19,791 --> 01:17:24,749
You expect me to believe we're a victim
of some French farce? Come on!

1321
01:17:24,879 --> 01:17:29,126
And your sister, you're gonna turn into
a scapegoat? She has enough problems.

1322
01:17:29,259 --> 01:17:32,794
She's busy turning children
into serial killers right now.

1323
01:17:32,929 --> 01:17:37,887
OK, you're right. I did have a thing
with Mathieu two years ago,

1324
01:17:38,017 --> 01:17:42,229
but it was nothing serious.
It was before I met you so it doesn't count.

1325
01:17:42,355 --> 01:17:45,391
- It means nothing.
- You know what I'm starting to believe?

1326
01:17:45,525 --> 01:17:49,273
That there is a small-world theory,
but it just applies to your sex life.

1327
01:17:49,404 --> 01:17:53,152
And it wasn't two years ago.
I don't know what the fuck these say,

1328
01:17:53,283 --> 01:17:58,028
but I know that they were in January
and that they're horrible. Monsieur?

1329
01:17:58,086 --> 01:18:00,873
What means "lick pussy"?

1330
01:18:01,048 --> 01:18:02,376
You sicko!

1331
01:18:02,417 --> 01:18:05,786
- They were bad. He didn't like them.
- I didn't lie!

1332
01:18:06,296 --> 01:18:11,372
You know, he kept on sending me
messages, even after it was nothing.

1333
01:18:11,509 --> 01:18:15,589
He keeps sending messages.
I mean, it's actually funny!

1334
01:18:15,722 --> 01:18:20,134
Let me translate the humour to you.
It's funny. It's not like serious...

1335
01:18:20,268 --> 01:18:22,510
So you lie? You lie?

1336
01:18:22,645 --> 01:18:27,106
I don't lie. I was protecting you.
I didn't want to hurt your feelings.

1337
01:18:27,233 --> 01:18:30,104
All right! I lied!

1338
01:18:30,236 --> 01:18:32,275
I lied just on that.

1339
01:18:32,405 --> 01:18:37,565
But please trust me. I didn't do
anything bad. I didn't cheat on you.

1340
01:18:37,702 --> 01:18:42,696
How do I know? How can I believe you?
How do I know what's bad to you?

1341
01:18:42,832 --> 01:18:48,585
In France, maybe having anal sex on
the side is like fishing or playing Scrabble.

1342
01:18:48,713 --> 01:18:53,505
OK, I'm sorry. Trust me. The messages
mean nothing to me. It's just messages.

1343
01:18:53,634 --> 01:18:56,006
I didn't do anything bad. We're in Paris...

1344
01:18:56,137 --> 01:19:00,799
Oh, no, no, we're not.
We're not in Paris. We're in hell!

1345
01:19:02,101 --> 01:19:03,725
- Say it.
- Say what?

1346
01:19:03,853 --> 01:19:06,807
- Say I'm a whore.
- "I'm a whore."

1347
01:19:06,939 --> 01:19:08,267
- I'm a whore.
- "I'm a whore."

1348
01:19:08,399 --> 01:19:11,186
- No, I'm a whore. Just say it!
- "No, I'm a whore."

1349
01:19:11,318 --> 01:19:15,482
You don't wanna say it? You want to stay
the friendly John Wayne guy?

1350
01:19:15,614 --> 01:19:19,197
- John Wayne? What the fuck?
- You wanna be the good guy, always?

1351
01:19:19,326 --> 01:19:21,449
I'm the Indian.

1352
01:19:23,080 --> 01:19:25,369
Yes! That's me!

1353
01:19:25,499 --> 01:19:29,912
Let me break the news to you. It's not your
cock that's too big for French condoms.

1354
01:19:30,045 --> 01:19:32,715
It's your ego that's too big
for French condoms.

1355
01:19:32,798 --> 01:19:35,834
And... Italian condoms, too.

1356
01:19:38,262 --> 01:19:40,301
Not bad.

1357
01:19:56,947 --> 01:20:00,363
Why did I say that? I'm so stupid.

1358
01:20:10,335 --> 01:20:11,746
- Bonjour.
- Bonjour.

1359
01:20:11,878 --> 01:20:18,131
Okey-dokey. Can I get a double
cheeseburger, large fries and a Pepsi?

1360
01:20:18,184 --> 01:20:19,844
Sir, I don't speak English.

1361
01:20:20,554 --> 01:20:21,965
- No English?
- Non.

1362
01:20:22,097 --> 01:20:24,766
All right. Um, a... a...

1363
01:20:28,353 --> 01:20:31,687
All right? Double, deux, you know?

1364
01:20:31,815 --> 01:20:34,520
And then large... fries,

1365
01:20:34,651 --> 01:20:37,901
and a Pepsi, cos Pepsi's the same
in every language.

1366
01:20:37,953 --> 01:20:42,496
Sir, there's the salad menu,
the veggie menu and the double menu.

1367
01:20:42,666 --> 01:20:44,374
Just choose one of them.

1368
01:20:44,543 --> 01:20:45,741
It's simple.

1369
01:20:45,829 --> 01:20:48,498
- Oh, this thing, this, this.
- �a?

1370
01:20:48,623 --> 01:20:51,577
I don't wanna eat the paper,
but the food on the paper.

1371
01:20:51,710 --> 01:20:55,079
- C'est �a?
- The food on the paper, yeah.

1372
01:20:56,590 --> 01:20:57,372
Merci.

1373
01:20:57,431 --> 01:21:00,052
That'll be 5 euros 30.

1374
01:21:00,927 --> 01:21:03,881
- Here we go, some European money.
- Merci.

1375
01:21:04,014 --> 01:21:09,221
Were you pissed about the franc?
That thing must have upset you, huh?

1376
01:21:09,352 --> 01:21:10,182
Voil�.

1377
01:21:10,235 --> 01:21:11,267
Thank you, goodbye.

1378
01:21:11,312 --> 01:21:14,266
- I hate Paris.
- Au revoir. Ooh.

1379
01:21:22,247 --> 01:21:24,074
Hi, Mathieu, it's Marion.

1380
01:21:28,204 --> 01:21:30,244
- Hi.
- Hi.

1381
01:21:31,165 --> 01:21:33,205
Can I sit with you?

1382
01:21:34,377 --> 01:21:36,417
Uh, OK.

1383
01:21:45,263 --> 01:21:49,676
This fast-food chain has half the animals
still alive when they are skinned.

1384
01:21:51,060 --> 01:21:54,512
Everything you're eating
is genetically modified.

1385
01:21:54,647 --> 01:21:58,561
- Your bun has moths in it.
- The bun has moths?

1386
01:21:58,693 --> 01:22:00,732
I see.

1387
01:22:03,948 --> 01:22:06,617
Are you having a hard time here,
languagewise?

1388
01:22:06,742 --> 01:22:10,787
The language, the food...
No, I'm fine. I'm fine.

1389
01:22:10,913 --> 01:22:14,697
- You seem a bit stressed out.
- Uh-huh.

1390
01:22:14,834 --> 01:22:17,751
Well, I just found out my girlfriend's a slut.

1391
01:22:17,879 --> 01:22:21,959
- What do you mean?
- She has sex with many men,

1392
01:22:22,091 --> 01:22:26,041
over and over... long periods of time.

1393
01:22:26,178 --> 01:22:30,046
For money, probably.
So she can't get enough.

1394
01:22:31,058 --> 01:22:34,807
- Yeah. Good stuff, huh?
- Yeah.

1395
01:22:36,237 --> 01:22:40,816
It's weird that you called.
I just took it out of my workshop,

1396
01:22:41,242 --> 01:22:43,401
and I'm just finishing it off.

1397
01:22:44,579 --> 01:22:46,038
And there it is!

1398
01:22:48,124 --> 01:22:50,532
But... what is it? Who is it?

1399
01:22:50,710 --> 01:22:52,169
It's you.

1400
01:22:55,048 --> 01:22:56,590
Not bad, eh?

1401
01:22:58,760 --> 01:23:02,544
It's beautiful.
Your style's really developed.

1402
01:23:02,722 --> 01:23:04,216
Yeah, you're right.

1403
01:23:09,145 --> 01:23:12,181
- Thank you.
- No, thank you.

1404
01:23:12,982 --> 01:23:15,603
It's you. It's incredible.

1405
01:23:15,644 --> 01:23:18,135
Maybe I'm the asshole,
I drove her to this.

1406
01:23:18,272 --> 01:23:22,435
All these accusations,
eventually they lead to something.

1407
01:23:22,568 --> 01:23:26,400
Maybe I don't wanna expose myself to her
completely, be honest with her,

1408
01:23:26,530 --> 01:23:30,859
because I'm afraid of hearing
what she has to say about her own past.

1409
01:23:30,993 --> 01:23:34,693
Either way there's not a true exchange,
it's not real honesty.

1410
01:23:34,830 --> 01:23:40,785
Sounds stupid, but I've never admitted
to anybody that I've masturbated.

1411
01:23:42,462 --> 01:23:44,621
I see what you're saying,

1412
01:23:44,756 --> 01:23:48,421
- but, man, love is everything we have.
- Uh-huh.

1413
01:23:48,552 --> 01:23:53,297
See, the world around us is going to shit,
and all we have left is each other.

1414
01:23:53,432 --> 01:23:54,842
Right.

1415
01:23:55,600 --> 01:24:00,808
- You know I'm a fairy.
- Oh... Yeah, well, I...

1416
01:24:00,939 --> 01:24:04,806
- No, no, like a real fairy.
- Oh, a real... Uh-huh.

1417
01:24:04,943 --> 01:24:07,612
You need to go back to her.
She's not a slut.

1418
01:24:07,696 --> 01:24:12,156
Maybe you need to be more careful with
her, meaning "full of care, care more".

1419
01:24:12,284 --> 01:24:15,569
At the end of your life you'll look back,
what will you think of?

1420
01:24:15,704 --> 01:24:18,954
Of the job you got or didn't get,
or the money you made? No.

1421
01:24:19,082 --> 01:24:24,421
You will think of the people you loved, and
especially of the one woman you loved.

1422
01:24:24,546 --> 01:24:28,413
And, even better, she'll be right there...

1423
01:24:30,051 --> 01:24:33,171
holding your hand.

1424
01:24:33,305 --> 01:24:34,929
Hm-mm.

1425
01:24:35,056 --> 01:24:37,096
- I'll be right back.
- OK.

1426
01:25:37,368 --> 01:25:40,203
- You're gonna have to run.
- Run back to her?

1427
01:25:40,329 --> 01:25:44,161
No, just run. When the alarm goes off,
you run. It's a delayed fire.

1428
01:25:44,292 --> 01:25:48,621
- Excuse me?
- My number if you need help. I'm Lukas.

1429
01:25:48,720 --> 01:25:50,815
The restroom's full of smoke.
Someone locked the door.

1430
01:26:06,488 --> 01:26:08,776
I'll explain about the messages.

1431
01:26:08,948 --> 01:26:11,274
What will you tell him?

1432
01:26:11,576 --> 01:26:15,953
That it was a joke,
that I don't give a shit,

1433
01:26:16,122 --> 01:26:18,198
and that I obviously don't love you!

1434
01:26:20,960 --> 01:26:24,246
Nobody wants me.
I can't take it anymore!

1435
01:26:25,215 --> 01:26:27,041
That's not tr...

1436
01:26:27,217 --> 01:26:29,423
Come on out of there.

1437
01:26:30,303 --> 01:26:33,470
What are you doing?
Don't break or dirty anything.

1438
01:26:35,058 --> 01:26:36,220
I'll call your sister.

1439
01:26:37,720 --> 01:26:39,759
Fuck, this is stupid.

1440
01:26:45,352 --> 01:26:47,226
I ran into Iraq.

1441
01:26:54,153 --> 01:26:56,311
Whoa, hey. Pardon...

1442
01:26:56,370 --> 01:26:58,162
Outta my way, jerk!

1443
01:27:00,792 --> 01:27:03,543
My bag, my bag! It's him!

1444
01:27:04,295 --> 01:27:06,122
My bag! Thief! Thief!

1445
01:27:06,174 --> 01:27:09,577
No, no, moi America.
I speak English. English!

1446
01:27:09,710 --> 01:27:11,481
Oh, the guy. He went over there.

1447
01:27:11,533 --> 01:27:13,505
American, my ass! Filthy Arab!

1448
01:27:13,679 --> 01:27:14,960
My bag!

1449
01:27:15,598 --> 01:27:17,092
Police!

1450
01:27:17,134 --> 01:27:19,340
No, no, no! No, no, no!

1451
01:27:19,469 --> 01:27:21,296
Oh!

1452
01:27:21,430 --> 01:27:26,934
No! No, no! Comedy of errors.
Le doppelg�nger! The doppelg�nger!

1453
01:27:27,060 --> 01:27:30,595
I'm an interior designer, for fuck's sake.
Marion!

1454
01:27:30,655 --> 01:27:33,608
Marion, just come out, OK?

1455
01:27:33,783 --> 01:27:37,615
Mathieu doesn't want to touch me.
I repulse men! I'm a fat tuna!

1456
01:27:37,787 --> 01:27:39,115
What's all this?

1457
01:27:39,288 --> 01:27:43,202
No, I tried to kiss her, but
she keeps sobbing, it's impossible.

1458
01:27:43,375 --> 01:27:47,456
Of course. She's in love
with her boyfriend. No psychology!

1459
01:27:48,005 --> 01:27:51,872
Marion, what got into you,
wanting to screw this idiot?

1460
01:27:52,426 --> 01:27:53,885
I'll leave you to it.

1461
01:27:54,595 --> 01:27:57,928
Sorry, sir, we made a mistake.
We're really sorry.

1462
01:27:57,966 --> 01:27:59,959
You've been terrific. Thank you.

1463
01:28:00,017 --> 01:28:03,053
- Are you sure it's not him?
- Yes, we're sure.

1464
01:28:03,096 --> 01:28:07,723
I don't know what you're saying,
but you have a wonderful singing voice.

1465
01:28:10,861 --> 01:28:11,857
A cup of tea.

1466
01:28:12,071 --> 01:28:14,110
Sorry about your soap holder.

1467
01:28:14,281 --> 01:28:15,610
I'm sorry too.

1468
01:28:16,033 --> 01:28:17,408
What did you do?

1469
01:28:18,160 --> 01:28:21,825
- I dropped it by accident.
- You broke it?

1470
01:28:23,457 --> 01:28:26,577
- The poor guy. You show up...
- I'm horrible, I know.

1471
01:28:26,752 --> 01:28:28,744
The old fill-in guy!

1472
01:28:29,505 --> 01:28:33,882
We get all wound up with jealousy
and shit, and we've got everything!

1473
01:28:34,051 --> 01:28:38,179
We're shallow with
bourgeois problems, as mom says.

1474
01:28:38,347 --> 01:28:41,051
And there are people dying in wars.

1475
01:28:41,516 --> 01:28:43,426
Marion, don't start again.

1476
01:28:43,602 --> 01:28:46,686
The other day
I read this article that said...

1477
01:28:47,606 --> 01:28:48,306
What?

1478
01:28:48,482 --> 01:28:52,645
We use more toilet paper than men
because we wipe when we pee.

1479
01:28:52,819 --> 01:28:55,108
Each time I wipe now
I think about it.

1480
01:28:55,489 --> 01:28:58,276
- About what?
- All that we destroy.

1481
01:29:00,278 --> 01:29:02,317
Oh, l�, l�.

1482
01:29:09,544 --> 01:29:13,162
I love you, sister.
You're a pain, but I adore you.

1483
01:29:13,340 --> 01:29:14,502
Is it your little bunny?

1484
01:29:14,883 --> 01:29:15,914
No, it's you.

1485
01:29:16,092 --> 01:29:17,800
I'm talking to you.

1486
01:29:17,969 --> 01:29:20,128
- Thank you, sister.
- You're so dumb!

1487
01:29:21,848 --> 01:29:22,844
I'd better go.

1488
01:29:23,016 --> 01:29:25,637
- And see your guy?
- I don't know.

1489
01:29:37,189 --> 01:29:38,981
Hi.

1490
01:31:50,155 --> 01:31:51,982
Hey.

1491
01:31:56,870 --> 01:31:58,909
I don't know you.

1492
01:31:59,789 --> 01:32:02,790
What are you talking about?
Are you drunk?

1493
01:32:06,129 --> 01:32:10,209
I was at this fast-food restaurant
and I'm holding hands with this fairy,

1494
01:32:10,341 --> 01:32:14,042
- right before he sets the place on fire...
- A fairy?

1495
01:32:14,179 --> 01:32:17,927
No, not a gay person.
You know, like from heaven?

1496
01:32:18,057 --> 01:32:21,509
Or a schizophrenic vegan, maybe.
He hated fast food.

1497
01:32:21,644 --> 01:32:25,856
I realise something so basic,
I mean, so basic.

1498
01:32:28,192 --> 01:32:30,232
- I don't know you.
- You don't know me.

1499
01:32:30,361 --> 01:32:31,772
No?

1500
01:32:31,904 --> 01:32:35,273
To sum up the four hours
of discussion that followed,

1501
01:32:35,408 --> 01:32:39,358
it's not easy being in a relationship,
much less to truly know the other one

1502
01:32:39,495 --> 01:32:42,615
and accept them as they are,
with all their flaws and baggage.

1503
01:32:42,749 --> 01:32:44,788
- Marion!
- You shaved an "M"?

1504
01:32:44,917 --> 01:32:48,915
Jack confessed to me his fear
of being rejected if I truly knew him,

1505
01:32:49,046 --> 01:32:52,415
if he showed himself totally bare to me.

1506
01:32:52,550 --> 01:32:57,757
Jack realised after two years that he didn't
know me at all, nor did I know him.

1507
01:32:57,889 --> 01:33:02,136
And to truly love each other we needed
to know the truth about each other,

1508
01:33:02,268 --> 01:33:05,103
even if it's not so easy to take.

1509
01:33:05,229 --> 01:33:08,847
So I told him the truth,
which was I'd never cheated on him.

1510
01:33:08,983 --> 01:33:12,648
And I also told him that
I had just seen Mathieu that afternoon.

1511
01:33:12,778 --> 01:33:17,025
He did not get mad at me because
nothing had happened, of course.

1512
01:33:17,158 --> 01:33:22,400
I confessed the toughest thing for me was
to decide to be with someone for good -

1513
01:33:22,538 --> 01:33:26,750
the idea that this is the man
I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

1514
01:33:26,876 --> 01:33:29,877
To decide that I will make the effort
to work things out

1515
01:33:30,004 --> 01:33:34,500
and not run off the minute there is
a problem is very difficult for me.

1516
01:33:34,633 --> 01:33:38,963
I told him I could not be for just one man
for the rest of my life.

1517
01:33:39,096 --> 01:33:41,931
It was a lie, but I said it anyway.

1518
01:33:42,057 --> 01:33:44,299
He asked me if I thought I was a squirrel,

1519
01:33:44,435 --> 01:33:47,886
collecting men like nuts
to put away for cold winters.

1520
01:33:48,022 --> 01:33:50,180
I thought it was quite funny.

1521
01:33:51,483 --> 01:33:55,149
Then he said something
that hurt my feelings.

1522
01:33:55,279 --> 01:33:58,280
The tone changed drastically.

1523
01:33:58,407 --> 01:34:02,405
Then I misunderstood him. I thought
he meant he didn't love me any more

1524
01:34:02,536 --> 01:34:05,537
- and wanted to break up with me.
- You wanna break up with me?

1525
01:34:05,664 --> 01:34:11,169
It always fascinates me how people go
from loving you madly, to nothing at all.

1526
01:34:11,295 --> 01:34:12,706
Nothing.

1527
01:34:12,838 --> 01:34:15,163
It hurts so much.

1528
01:34:15,924 --> 01:34:19,424
When I feel someone will leave me
I have a tendency to break up first

1529
01:34:19,553 --> 01:34:22,637
before I get to hear the whole thing.

1530
01:34:26,477 --> 01:34:31,815
Here it is. One more, one less,
another wasted love story.

1531
01:34:31,940 --> 01:34:34,182
I really loved this one.

1532
01:34:35,569 --> 01:34:39,104
When I think that it's over,
that I'll never see him again...

1533
01:34:39,239 --> 01:34:42,738
Well, I'll bump into him, we'll meet
our new boyfriend and girlfriend,

1534
01:34:42,868 --> 01:34:46,367
act as if we had never been together.

1535
01:34:46,496 --> 01:34:50,197
Then we'll slowly think of each other
less and less,

1536
01:34:50,334 --> 01:34:53,370
until we forget each other completely.

1537
01:34:53,503 --> 01:34:55,460
Almost.

1538
01:34:55,589 --> 01:34:58,839
Always the same for me -
break up, break down.

1539
01:34:58,967 --> 01:35:01,885
Drink up, fool around,
meet one guy, then another,

1540
01:35:02,012 --> 01:35:04,763
fuck around to forget the one and only.

1541
01:35:04,890 --> 01:35:09,598
Then after a few months of emptiness,
start again to look for true love.

1542
01:35:09,728 --> 01:35:15,066
Desperately look everywhere
and, after two years of loneliness,

1543
01:35:15,192 --> 01:35:20,981
meet a new love and swear it is the one,
until that one is gone as well.

1544
01:35:48,975 --> 01:35:56,306
There's a moment in life where you can't
recover any more from another break-up.

1545
01:35:56,441 --> 01:36:04,567
And even if this person bugs you 60% of
the time, you still can't live without him.

1546
01:36:04,699 --> 01:36:10,120
And even if he wakes you up every day
by sneezing right in your face,

1547
01:36:11,497 --> 01:36:17,002
well, you love his sneezes
more than anyone else's kisses.