Oh, man.
The yellow-- the red feels a little more like--
Oh look, is that chamomile tea?
- What's that? - Tofu.
- Want to eat here? - Bean curd.
- Is this gonna fuck us up? - Did I order this?
Cheers to a wonderful honeymoon.
Yeah.
Look who's getting married.
It's like Chinese Brangelina right there.
They're doing the offerings over there.
- Yeah. - Pretty cool. That's pretty cool.
- This is for our healthy kids. - That's for our kids.
This is just for good will and peace around the world.
Are you a fortune-teller?
- Oh my God. - No way.
Get out of here.
Match you.
- We're a match. - We're a good match?
Good luck.
So how do we get out of here?
- I just-- - I don't know.
I'm not a big fan of all this meat stuff. Can we just get out?
This is nuts, man. You see this?
I know. He's really beautiful.
- Oh my God. - He's like a huge piņata.
Will you take a picture of us?
- Good? - Oh my gosh, I want one of these.
How much is that? How much?
I got 5, that's it.
All right, this is for my girl.
Doing the offering. Such a spiritual girl.
Sorry. Sorry.
- What's up, guys? - Look how cute these kids are.
- Ping! - Hey!
You son of a bitch! Ping!
Oh, you guys had a good time I see.
- We had a great time. - That was so fun.
Always a good time at Senwun during the Ghost Festival.
Very popular with young people from America.
Ping, I got you something.
This one's for you.
This one is for me. We got the same shirt.
Gui yue.
- Gui yue. - Gui yue?
Symbol of the month of ghosts. Thank you, Mr. Yul.
Is that your size, man? I thought you were a large.
Oh yes yes yes, large. Perfect size. Perfect for me.
- Hey, we could be brothers. - Brother?
Like wearing-the-same- shirt brothers.
- Brother! - You're retarded.
Ev-- every time I wear the shirt,
I'll always think of you.
You know? It's like a--
a spiritual connection.
2 souls on opposite sides of the earth.
- You know? - Yeah yeah.
Like, dude, we could pick a day of the month that we both wear it.
Ping. Here, this is for you.
- Mel-- - What is this?
It's not quite as spiritual as the ghost shirt,
- but I want you to have it. - I cannot accept it.
- Yes, you have to. - This is expensive wine.
I don't care, you've been the best tour guide.
We love you so much and we want you to have it.
Thank you, Miss Melissa. Thank you.
You're welcome.
You both have been delightful clients.
We're so delightful, aren't we?
But that shirt is kickin' though, right, Ping?
I mean, that-- that's hot.
Very much kicking. Number one kicking.
What are you talking about?
That bottle... was for us.
I wanted to give it to him. Plus, you've had enough booze, okay?
- No, just a little. - I'm nervous to meet your family.
- I don't want-- - Hey, Nai Nai's gonna love you.
What about the rest of your family?
I don't know about the rest of the family.
You know, I got some aunts
and they gonna hate your whitey ass for sure.
Great.
Would you like a little quick one
- before we get to Nai Nai's? - Really?
- Are you crazy? - Crazy for love.
Get off me.
We don't usually drink this much.
We've just been planning this wedding
and having it and then
finally it's time
to just relax.
It's your honeymoon. Both of you are celebrating
your new life together.
Sorry if we're obnoxious.
Don't apologize.
So do you think we're still delightful, Ping?
Of course, Miss Melissa.
Still delightful.
How much longer do you think?
Hour, maybe longer.
The roads in this part of the country
is very tricky.
It's so weird because it seems so-- so isolated
and, what, there's like a billion people running around?
This is a big country.
Many farms to feed all the people.
So do people really believe that stuff?
What?
The hungry ghost legend.
It's a very old celebration,
but mostly for fun now.
But somebody must believe it.
I mean, they wouldn't spend so much time on the offerings
if they didn't think it was true.
You're right.
Some people do believe it's real.
Do you believe in it, Ping?
Are we there?
No, we're not at Anxian.
Are you serious? Why not?
I must admit I'm a bit lost at this time, Miss Melissa.
Oh. Okay.
It's not like me at all.
But it's so dark. And like I said before,
the road is very tricky.
This map is useless! No use.
Don't worry.
It's-- I would be so lost out here.
I understand.
I'm thinking...
go down there and ask for directions.
Is it okay?
- Yeah. - Just wait here
and I'll be back very soon.
Miss Melissa.
He's a good husband to you.
And you're a good wife to him.
Thanks, Ping.
You're welcome.
Yul.
Fuck.
Yul! Yul!
- Honey, Ping's been gone for an hour. - We there yet?
No. I just went out to take a pee
and there's like this weird gonging noise outside.
God, my head is pounding.
Do you hear that?
What should we do?
What the hell is that?
- You said he went in there an hour ago? - Yeah.
He left like an hour ago.
All right. Hang on, hang on.
Oh God.
What are you doing?
- Let's go. - Go where?
Find Ping.
- Are you serious? - Yeah, come on.
- You all right? - Yeah.
Looks deserted.
It does.
Ping!
This is definitely weird.
- Where do you think he went? - I don't know.
Hello?
- Wei! - Ping!
Ping!
Windows are boarded up.
Someone's been here.
This is fresh. I mean...
- where is everybody? - I don't know.
Oh God. Ping!
Ping! Oh no.
What are they doing with these animals?
Look at the pigs.
This is weird.
Look at the goat.
- Hey. It's the gong. - Oh yeah.
Who the hell is that?
Hello?
Tell him he left an hour ago and we need to find him.
- Ping! - What are they saying, Yul?
Do you know?
- Do they want us to leave? - I don't know.
Please, can you help us find Ping?
I don't know.
- They keep saying the same thing. - Okay. All right.
Yul, let's go.
I don't want to stay here.
All right, come on. Let's go. Come on, Yul.
All right.
- These people are crazy. - I know, I know.
Oh my God. Oh my God, Yul.
What the fuck is this?
Oh my God.
- Be careful. - What is this shit?
Dude, what the hell, man? Who--
This is disgusting.
- Crazy motherfucker, what the hell?! - Be quiet, Yul!
Some fucking punks.
- Oh good, the key's here. - Teenagers or something.
- Let's go, get in the car. - What about Ping?
- Honey, get in the car. - What, you just want to leave Ping here?
Yes, we leave Ping here. Come on. Get in.
Come on.
Fuck. God damn. What is this, goat blood?
- Jesus. - Come on, work.
Mel, there's not gonna be coverage out here.
- Can I at least try? - Just tell me what he said.
I already told you what he said.
He said that he was sorry and that he was going to look for directions.
- Okay. - Where do you think he went?
I don't know. Maybe I pissed him off with the t-shirt stuff.
Yeah, the t-shirt was stupid.
Well, thank God he left the keys, man.
Shit, I mean hopefully we can find our way back to Senwun.
How are we gonna do that? I don't know where we are.
And you were fucking sleeping the whole time.
Okay, are you gonna get mad at me for sleeping?
Yes, I am gonna get mad, 'cause you know what?
You should've been paying more attention to where we're going.
- Are you serious, Mel? - I don't know where the fuck we are, okay?
- Mel. - And this phone is not working.
- And it's freaking me out, all right? - All right, Mel, hey.
- So we need to find a phone somewhere. - Okay.
We'll go back the way we came
and we'll-- we'll get to a place with cell phone coverage.
And then we can call my cousin.
Everything's gonna be fine.
What the hell happened back there?
People out here in the countryside
are just more--
Fuckin' nuts.
Old fashioned. You're not supposed to
leave your house after dark.
So those animals outside
were live offerings for the spirits?
Kind of like at the festival but live offerings?
Yeah. You want to kick it up a few notches out here
with goats and dogs and shit.
But the idea is the same. You leave an offering for the dead
and they won't come inside your house and fuck with you.
What were they yelling at us?
I don't know.
Your mom's right. Your Cantonese is shitty as hell.
I think it was an invitation.
An invitation?
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
- Yul-- - I know. I know.
5 more minutes, then we'll turn around.
5 minutes.
What do you expect, Howard Stern?
Tower must be close by.
Yeah. Let me listen.
What's he saying?
I don't know. I can only make out a couple words.
My Cantonese is shitty, remember?
What is it? What is he saying?
Old and new...
come together...
make offerings.
Protection...
blood...
sacrifice...
Oh my God.
What was that?
Yul?
I think it was a man.
A man?
Looked like an animal or something.
It was a man-- a naked man.
Oh, no... Come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
Just ease up on the gas a little bit.
- Come on! Fuck! - Just try the reverse thing.
Okay. Okay.
All right, stop. Stop.
Let me try. Let me try.
- Let's switch. - Okay okay.
All right, baby, just go easy on it, okay? Give it a little bit of gas.
Honey, I know what I'm doing. I've lived in DC my entire life, okay?
Okay. Okay.
Shit.
Go! Shit!
- We're stuck. - Don't say that. Don't say that, Mel.
- Come on. - Get out and push.
- You have to. - What?
- Get out and push right now. - What about the naked dude?
Do you want me to get out and push?
Fine, I'll get out and push.
No! Don't get out! Don't-- Mel-- don't--
Then get out. Just do it. Don't think about it.
Just get out, Yul.
You're doing good. Please, more more.
I don't have any more.
Push harder, Yul!
You did it! Get in! Go!
Get in! Get in! Hurry, Yul!
Just go. Just go. Go!
Jesus. Jesus.
- Did you hear that? What was it? - Yeah.
- What was that noise? - It sounded like an animal.
- What? - It sounded like a pig being slaughtered.
Yeah, okay. Right.
I mean, who the hell slaughters a pig
in the middle of the night, huh?
We're in China, Yul.
Yeah. Yeah. I know we're in China, Mel.
But this isn't just--
this isn't just China-weird, okay?
It's fucking just weird-weird.
Yeah, I know.
What, that's all you're gonna say?
What do you want me to say?
- Anything. - Like what?
- Just something. - Like what?
You got something to say, just say it.
What do you want me to fucking say?!
I should be swimming with the dolphins right now!
- What? - But no, we're in fucking China
because you wanted to come here!
- Yes, I wanted to come here. - This is all your fucking fault!
- It's my fault? - Yes, I hate you right now!
- It's my fault?! - Yes, it's your fucking fault!
- Why, because I'm Chinese? - Yes!
Oh shit.
This place is so weird.
Oh my God. Should we check on him?
- Just drive away. - You want me to drive away?
Yeah. Reverse and let's go back.
But what about this guy?
Who cares about that? Let's just go.
Let's go. You don't want to be in this country, right?
Oh my God, he's moving. He's moving.
- Mel, please. - I think we need to go see him.
- Mel, don't do it. - Yul, I've got to go.
- Don't do anything stupid, Mel! - I've got to go see him.
Mel. Don't.
- Mel. - Hi.
- Help me.
Are you okay?
Oh God.
They are coming.
What's he saying, Yul?
- What's he saying? - We have to go.
What's he saying?
- We've got to go. - They are here.
I think we have to go.
- Be careful with him. - We have to go, Mel. We gotta go.
Let's go. We gotta go. Come on!
We gotta go! Mel!
Open the door! Come on, get in there.
- Do you got him? - Yeah.
- Get in! - Come on, get in the seat.
Oh my God!
Go!
- Turn us around. - The road's too narrow.
- You're gonna run us off the road! - Shit!
Get us back on the road.
I'm trying.
- Slow down a little bit! - We'll get stuck!
Oh God.
- Shit! - I think we hit a ditch.
- No shit, we hit a ditch, Yul. - Sorry.
- Fuck. - Fuck!
Go, go, go...
No, no, no.
- It's stuck. - No it's not.
- God! - Slow down, honey.
Slow down, slow down, slow down.
What were those things?
What's he saying?
Moon demons.
They're going to follow this path
through the field and find us.
I think we should get the fuck out of this car.
We follow him.
Oh God.
Let us in.
Open the door, please.
I beg of you.
Please show mercy on us.
I'm not from around here.
I don't know what's going on.
She is American.
She's not part of this.
Please let her in.
Please let us in. Please help us.
Please, these people are chasing us.
Please please please.
They're crazy people. They're gonna kill us. Please.
You need to let us in. You need to help us.
We will pay you anything.
Please. Please.
Please.
Keep your voices down.
Stop calling to them.
Hurry.
They will see us.
Help me move this to the door.
What is he saying?
We need to find something alive to put outside.
Alive?
- What, like that dog? - Yeah. Yeah.
Um, they're gonna come inside and find us
unless we put something outside for them to kill.
What the hell are those things, huh?
I don't know.
What are they, part of some cult or something?
I have no idea, Mel.
What do you know, Yul?
Apparently nothing.
There has to be something we can do.
Yeah, there's something we can do.
We can find something alive to put outside.
Okay.
This is rice here. This is rice.
We might get lucky and find a rat or something.
Wei?
I think he found something. Come on.
Wei.
Where is he?
Fuck you!
Motherfucker!
Stay away.
Don't be a coward.
You can save your wife by offering yourself.
- You crazy motherfucker. - It's the only way to save her.
- Why won't you do the honorable thing? - Are you crazy?
Okay. All right, let's go, baby.
- No. We have to stop. - What?
We've got to stop.
- What? - This is killing me.
Come on.
Come on, we have to go, okay?
We have to get going, okay?
Okay.
Come on. Come on, baby.
How do you feel? How do you feel?
- I'm beautiful, aren't I? - You are. We have to go.
Oh, come on.
Come on, it's the car.
I want you to lay down.
Okay.
Let's see here.
I need to keep you warm.
Yes!
Shit.
Wake up, Yul. You can't fall asleep.
Yul?
Wake up.
- Why? - Come on.
- Sit up. - Why?
Because those things are still out there, okay?
You can't leave me alone out here.
Okay.
- Okay, baby, I'm here. - Good.
- Awake. - Yeah.
Please.
Okay.
Yul?
I love that you're Chinese.
Son of a--
Oh my God!
Don't let them take me.
Please.
Oh my God.
What are we gonna do?
- There's gotta be something we can use. - For what?
A weapon. Something in the car.
Is there anything else?
Tire iron-- there's gotta be a tire iron in the trunk.
You're not going outside.
May not have to.
When I was a kid, I was on vacation once.
Fuck.
My dad locked the keys in the trunk at a rest stop.
Fuck.
I pulled the back seats off and crawled through.
Saved the vacation.
I felt like a super hero that day.
Oh good!
Fuck.
Help me with the light.
Come on.
I got it.
- Good! - I got it. Not much...
- Oh shit. -...but it's something.
Yul.
Oh my God.
Go away.
What are we gonna do?
Come on, fuckers!
- Go away! - Go away!
- Go away, God damn it!
Please! Shit!
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck, Yul!
God!
Get in the trunk! Get in the trunk!
Go go go!
Get the fuck off me!
Yul, get in the trunk!
Get in! Come on, get in!
Fuck! Fuck!
Get off me! Shit!
Fuck!
Get off, you little fucker!
Yul!
Mel, help me find the truck release.
Help me find the trunk release!
Behind you! Behind you, get it!
Fuck! I think it's jammed.
Get us out!
- Fuck! - Get the fuck out!
God damn it!
Come on.
Come on! Yul! Come on!
Yul.
We're trapped in here.
What are they doing?
They might not like it in here.
What?
We're in a tomb.
Fuck.
What is that?
It's a voice--
the voice from the radio.
I think it scared them away.
Come to us.
What's he saying, Yul?
Come to us.
Yul?
We have to go to them.
There is safety here.
You will be safe here.
We are safe here.
Come to us. Come to us.
We will help you.
You will be safe here.
You are welcome here.
Yul.
Yul!
Yul.
- Is that you? - Yeah, it's me.
What happened?
You shouldn't be nervous about meeting my grandmother, Melissa.
What?
My Nai Nai's gonna love you.
Just like my cousins
and the rest of the family.
- You got nothing to worry about. - Yul.
- I love you, Mel. - I love you too, Yul.
I love you so much, but we need to get out of here right--
We should have gone to Kauai like you said.
Yul, listen to me! We need to get out of here.
- We need to leave, okay? - These ropes are tight, baby.
Yul, push with me right now.
- Push! - Okay.
Come on.
Yul, push!
Come on!
Come on, don't give up on me.
Don't give up on me, Yul!
- Mel. - What?
Yul.
Don't worry, babe. I'll get you out of this.
Oh God. Yul.
Yul! What are you doing?
What are you doing?!
Come on! Take me, you bastards!
Take me!
Stop it!
Look at me!
No!
Yul!
Your husband made a great sacrifice tonight.
He gave them his life for yours.
Miss Melissa!
Stop it! Miss Melissa! Please! Please! Please!
Please! Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it!
They come to our village
in the 7th lunar month
on the night of full moon.
They took away
one of our living each time.
Many years ago...
we have decided we would no longer let them
take our own.
So we bring in outsiders for offering.
I'm very sorry.
I'm sorry for you and for your husband.
What did they do to him?
They took him to the place.
They're preparing him for his final journey.
Is he still alive?
They have to take them alive.
But he will be one of them by moon fall.
Where did they take him?
Hey! Where did they take him!
Miss Melissa, you-- you can't go there.
Help me.
Help me!
Just follow the path that leads them here.
The candles will show you the way.
Miss Melissa, they will kill you.
No, Yul.
Yul.
Oh my God.
Baby.
- Mel. - Yul.
Where are they?
They're all around us.
But they're-- they're like sleeping or something.
- They're not moving. - They're not sleeping.
We could get out of here, Yul.
Yul, we have to get out of here.
They're inside my head, Mel.
They're waiting for me to die.
Yul, we have to go.
I'll pull you out of here.
I can't. I've lost too much blood.
You have to be strong.
You have to fight.
- We can get out of here, Yul. - They're gonna kill you.
They're gonna wait for me to die.
And then they're gonna come after you.
They already know you're here.
- You have to go. - No, I can't.
- Please. - No.
Yul, please.
You have to get up.
Go see my Nai Nai.
She's your family now.
She'll know.
What will she know?
Promise me.
Yul.
Promise me, Mel.
I promise.
Mel.
What?
Go.
Miss Melissa!
Go that way.
Go out that way!