1 00:02:09,532 --> 00:02:11,615 You two look amazing! You're like a perfect couple. 2 00:02:12,761 --> 00:02:15,380 C'mon you guys! It's your wedding day. Smile! 3 00:02:17,945 --> 00:02:19,438 This isn't working. 4 00:02:21,654 --> 00:02:25,813 Piggy! Mr. Piggy! C'mon! Mr. Piggy, who doesn't love Mr. Piggy! Come on. 5 00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,735 Up here you guys! Up here! 6 00:02:27,862 --> 00:02:33,941 - Tonya what are you doing? - I'm trying to get them to stand up and look into each others eyes. 7 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:37,317 Walk away. 8 00:02:37,446 --> 00:02:39,566 Alright come on guys. 9 00:02:39,696 --> 00:02:44,981 So how long have they been dating? I know you have to multiply it by seven or something but 10 00:02:45,112 --> 00:02:49,521 I'm just trying to get an idea how long to go out with somebody before tying the knot you know. 11 00:02:49,564 --> 00:02:51,858 Okay. 12 00:02:51,987 --> 00:02:54,025 Give me that. 13 00:02:56,279 --> 00:02:59,692 Come on guys work with me. Sit up, sit up, sit up. 14 00:03:00,487 --> 00:03:05,561 Tonya, Tonya! 15 00:03:07,571 --> 00:03:11,693 What are you doing? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 16 00:03:11,728 --> 00:03:11,728 Will you stop dancing?! 17 00:03:27,404 --> 00:03:30,438 I so very much like espresso. 18 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:35,776 It's strong and enjoyably bitter. 19 00:03:36,863 --> 00:03:41,603 I see you, Agent Ross, you prefer a straight-forward cup of coffee... 20 00:03:41,738 --> 00:03:47,153 While you, Agent Meyers, you pick a latte and add much sweetness. 21 00:03:47,279 --> 00:03:50,526 This is why I became a US citizen. 22 00:03:50,655 --> 00:03:54,399 America is the land of many choices. 23 00:03:54,530 --> 00:03:57,362 Plus Croatian coffee tastes like dog urine.. 24 00:03:57,488 --> 00:04:01,233 Why exactly did you want to meet with us, Mr. Nikitin? 25 00:04:01,363 --> 00:04:03,304 You and your wife have already obtained citizenship. 26 00:04:03,465 --> 00:04:05,782 I don't think there's anything we can anything we can help you with. 27 00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:10,568 I want my daughter Masha to have the same opportunity, without the wait. 28 00:04:10,696 --> 00:04:12,314 So what are you suggesting, sir? 29 00:04:12,315 --> 00:04:16,234 I am more than willing to pay a reasonable fee to expedite her paperwork. 30 00:04:16,235 --> 00:04:23,113 My understanding that the traditional cost of this service is $10,000. 31 00:04:26,113 --> 00:04:31,351 Well whatever your understanding of bypassing US immigration laws is Mr Nikitin... 32 00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:35,612 We're not in the business of expediting anybody's citizenship. 33 00:04:35,738 --> 00:04:38,319 You're lucky we don't arrest you for trying to bribe us. 34 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:44,193 We'll be paying close attention to your daughter. 35 00:04:45,193 --> 00:04:52,321 - You said that they could be bought. - That's what I was told. Don't worry, we'll find someone else. 36 00:04:52,322 --> 00:04:57,350 No. INS will be watching her closely. We must find another way. 37 00:05:08,447 --> 00:05:14,314 Okay, alright. Hey the sooner we get this done, the sooner you can go back to pillaging. 38 00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:18,441 He's just messing with you. You're a big old baby. Give me a wet one Brutus. 39 00:05:20,739 --> 00:05:23,902 You need to get to know him that's all. Rub him between his hinds, and you can pose him any way you like. 40 00:05:24,030 --> 00:05:28,154 - I'm sorry did you say rub him between his hinds? - You want him to co-operate you gotta give him a tickle. 41 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:32,356 I'm not really a tickler type. I think you should probably tickle your own dog. 42 00:05:32,489 --> 00:05:36,317 Your ad says "Satisfaction Guaranteed" or I don't pay holmes. 43 00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:41,396 Okay. 44 00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:45,192 I can tickle a dog. Usually I would take you out to dinner first. 45 00:05:46,322 --> 00:05:48,858 There you go. 46 00:05:50,697 --> 00:05:52,688 I'm sorry I'm late. 47 00:05:54,156 --> 00:05:59,690 Are you rubbing that dogs happy spot? - It's the only way he'll co-operate. Well I could have told you that. 48 00:05:59,822 --> 00:06:04,775 Oh you know what that's my next client. Would you just show her the costumes, and don't bring her out until I say okay. 49 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,987 - Got it. - Oh Lord! 50 00:06:09,864 --> 00:06:11,522 Hello. 51 00:06:11,656 --> 00:06:17,155 I am here for photograph of cat. 52 00:06:17,281 --> 00:06:21,061 I love your accent. It's Venezuelan right? 53 00:06:23,072 --> 00:06:26,652 Okay! I think about massaging him again. No no no we got it. 54 00:06:26,781 --> 00:06:30,691 - He was snarling the whole time. - And that's what pirates do. I'll email you the proofs. You'll love 'em. 55 00:06:30,822 --> 00:06:35,563 So we can't decide between the Ballerina or an angel? I told yah, I told you not to bring the cat! 56 00:06:42,573 --> 00:06:44,149 Brutus. 57 00:06:44,281 --> 00:06:47,196 Come back, Brutus. 58 00:07:22,656 --> 00:07:27,065 I gotta go. I'm late for my modelling class. 59 00:07:27,198 --> 00:07:32,318 I'm really sorry about what happened, - It's okay, accidents happen. 60 00:07:37,781 --> 00:07:43,979 Why haven't you asked me out? I've been your assistant for a whole month now. 61 00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:49,314 Yeah and you've been... 62 00:07:49,448 --> 00:07:53,821 really creative with the squeaky toys that's like a talent that... 63 00:07:53,948 --> 00:07:56,615 Don't you find me attractive? 64 00:07:57,698 --> 00:08:02,071 - Yeah, but you know it's not a good idea. - I feel... 65 00:08:03,157 --> 00:08:06,937 a really strong connection between us. 66 00:08:08,032 --> 00:08:13,945 - If I moved in with you, I'd never be late to work. - Yeah, yeah. 67 00:08:14,073 --> 00:08:18,149 But an alarm clock would probably work also you know. 68 00:08:22,615 --> 00:08:25,447 Think about it okay? 69 00:08:27,698 --> 00:08:28,978 Okay. 70 00:08:40,532 --> 00:08:42,274 Show me tongue. 71 00:08:43,907 --> 00:08:46,940 - You suffer from stress. - Yeah. Tell me about it. 72 00:08:47,074 --> 00:08:50,818 Chi out of balance. We fix. 73 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:55,438 I've never done this before. Does this hurt? 74 00:08:55,574 --> 00:09:00,196 No pain. Close eyes. Relax. 75 00:09:07,449 --> 00:09:10,779 Okay, this isn't that bad. 76 00:09:19,532 --> 00:09:22,862 You look a bit stressed. Do you want me to help you out with that? 77 00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:32,697 You like borscht? It's old family recipe. 78 00:09:37,241 --> 00:09:41,400 My name is Vlatko Nikitin. Brickland and Oleg they work for me. 79 00:09:41,532 --> 00:09:43,404 You can call me Brick. 80 00:09:43,532 --> 00:09:46,863 What do you want? I mean... this is kidnapping. 81 00:09:46,991 --> 00:09:51,299 - No. No kidnapping. You came here voluntarily. To make amends. - Amends? 82 00:09:51,350 --> 00:09:56,486 - Amends for what? I didn't do anything. - Tell that to my wife's cat. 83 00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:59,649 Oh I'm so sorry about that. I have a new assistant... 84 00:09:59,782 --> 00:10:06,941 Cat is worthless. I bought it in Dubrovnik for 3 kuneh. That's uh, 54 US cents. 85 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:11,613 - Look I'll pay you for all your vet charges. - Cat is simply cat to me. 86 00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:17,026 I prefer goat. But my wife Borislava she is heartsick. 87 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:22,988 Look ah, Mr. Nik... Nicotine, what can I do to make this right sir? 88 00:10:23,116 --> 00:10:29,480 Easiest solution would have Brickland and Oleg put you in cement shoes and take you for swim in lake. 89 00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:41,820 - What's the next easiest solution? - Marry my daughter, Masha. 90 00:10:44,575 --> 00:10:49,149 - Excuse me? - Masha having problems with visa. Marriage solves problem. 91 00:10:49,283 --> 00:10:52,400 What your saying, you want me to marry your daughter so she can get her green card? 92 00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:57,320 After one year you get annulment, and you have no further debt to my family. 93 00:10:57,450 --> 00:11:02,687 - No I've never even met her. - Relax, please. Marriage is purely for show. 94 00:11:02,825 --> 00:11:07,316 Masha will be marrying Brickland in one years time. Brickland is like a son to me. 95 00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:10,448 But he is very jealous. 96 00:11:10,575 --> 00:11:14,590 So I would not consider any sexual activity... 97 00:11:14,615 --> 00:11:18,687 with hand or mouth or he will kill you, in a very unpleasant way. 98 00:11:18,825 --> 00:11:24,692 Okay I'm sorry, but this conversation is over. I'm really apologetic about your cat, and that whole situation but I'm outta here... 99 00:11:25,617 --> 00:11:28,105 Brian. You do not know who I am. 100 00:11:28,242 --> 00:11:31,856 Many powerful men have tried to cross me. 101 00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:34,943 - Where are they now? - Who knows? 102 00:11:35,075 --> 00:11:38,108 You.. you are not a powerful man. 103 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:43,572 But you are an intelligent man. I believe you will make the right decision. 104 00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:48,404 - Goodmo! Shall we live forever? - Goodmo! Goodmo! 105 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:29,525 - Who the hell is this? - It's me mom. 106 00:12:29,659 --> 00:12:32,959 You'd better be in the emergency room or jail to be calling me at this hour. 107 00:12:32,992 --> 00:12:37,614 I'm in the middle of a facial detox for god's sake! 108 00:12:37,742 --> 00:12:41,072 Mom! I have to marry a Croatian girl, or her father's going to have me killed. 109 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,531 - So? Marry her. - Did you hear what I just said? 110 00:12:44,659 --> 00:12:51,485 - Yes! This is good news. - No. This not good news mom, did you miss the part about him murdering me? 111 00:12:51,617 --> 00:12:55,397 - Do you love her? - No I don't Ma.. I've never even met her. 112 00:12:55,534 --> 00:12:59,859 Look the whole thing is complicated. Oh it's always too complicated with you. 113 00:12:59,992 --> 00:13:04,945 Is she old enough to bear children? What? I hear Eastern European women are very fertile. 114 00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:09,069 Mom you know this is not helping. What does she look like? 115 00:13:09,201 --> 00:13:12,566 I do not know, but judging by her mother, she's not gonna win any beauty contests 116 00:13:12,701 --> 00:13:17,109 We all get ugly, it's only a matter of time. Does she have any money? 117 00:13:17,242 --> 00:13:21,283 - I don't, her father is some kind of crime boss. - So she comes from money. 118 00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:25,865 - Are you even listening to me? - Do you have other women in your life? Oh here we go. 119 00:13:25,993 --> 00:13:29,193 I'm not getting any younger Brian, I need some grandchildren already! 120 00:13:29,326 --> 00:13:34,659 Well that's not gonna happen, they said I can't even touch her. My father told your dad the same thing, you think he listened? 121 00:13:34,784 --> 00:13:37,782 You were conceived in an elevator, on our honeymoon. 122 00:13:37,909 --> 00:13:41,903 I had the close door button imprinted on my forehead for two days. 123 00:13:42,034 --> 00:13:48,114 Mom, I did not need to hear that. All men are afraid of commitment. Stop whining and marry this girl. 124 00:13:48,243 --> 00:13:50,233 That's all I'm gonna say. 125 00:13:52,368 --> 00:13:56,029 Do you like plane? I pay half price. 126 00:13:56,159 --> 00:14:00,319 - Sounds like you got a screaming deal. - Yes, screaming was involved. 127 00:14:01,784 --> 00:14:06,323 Wedding is in two week. Brickland wishes to be your best man. 128 00:14:07,743 --> 00:14:10,066 I'm moved. 129 00:14:10,201 --> 00:14:14,740 Give this Masha during vows. It will help convince authorities you are serious. 130 00:14:14,868 --> 00:14:18,731 Do you wish to invite witnesses? No, I'm an only child. 131 00:14:20,165 --> 00:14:22,882 My dad's gone, my mom is... let's just say 132 00:14:22,917 --> 00:14:25,600 - my mom has a prior commitment. - Okay. 133 00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:29,616 Meeting over. Get out. 134 00:14:41,701 --> 00:14:45,233 What do you mean you're getting married? 135 00:14:45,368 --> 00:14:47,939 I mean I'm getting married. 136 00:14:48,076 --> 00:14:53,658 - How long have you been sleeping with her? - That's a little inappropriate. - How long?! How long?! 137 00:14:55,077 --> 00:14:58,110 I haven't slept with her yet okay? 138 00:14:58,243 --> 00:15:01,360 Huh, what is she a virgin or something? 139 00:15:01,493 --> 00:15:06,281 - What does she look like? She sexy? - She's Croatian. 140 00:15:06,410 --> 00:15:09,776 - Does she even speak English? - I hope so. 141 00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:13,192 - Did you order her off of eBay or something? - I did not order her off eBay. 142 00:15:13,327 --> 00:15:18,316 - Then how come you've never mentioned her? - Because it's complicated okay? 143 00:15:25,202 --> 00:15:28,484 You know Brian I'm not stupid. 144 00:15:28,618 --> 00:15:32,826 If you wanted to dump me, you didn't have to invent some Christation virgin. 145 00:15:32,952 --> 00:15:36,780 - Croatian. Croatian. - And I did not invent her okay? 146 00:15:36,910 --> 00:15:40,323 I've never been dumped. I do the dumping you understand?! 147 00:15:40,452 --> 00:15:43,023 How can I dump you if we've never gone out? 148 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:47,201 You know what if it makes you feel better go ahead and dump me. - Why would I do that? 149 00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:52,441 - I love you. - Okay... look Tonya... 150 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:55,658 I think you may have misunderstood our relationship okay. 151 00:15:55,785 --> 00:16:02,398 Look Brian, I don't know about a lot of things, but one thing I do know about is about men, and you definitely... 152 00:16:02,535 --> 00:16:07,442 You know what, I'm sorry. I'm getting married. 153 00:16:08,827 --> 00:16:11,067 We'll see about that. 154 00:16:12,869 --> 00:16:15,820 What is that supposed to mean? 155 00:16:15,952 --> 00:16:18,820 Okay, let's go over it one more time. 156 00:16:18,952 --> 00:16:22,199 Ok, we met two months ago at the ballet. Which ballet? 157 00:16:22,327 --> 00:16:26,368 The " The Gazelle". "Giselle" at the Joffrey! 158 00:16:26,494 --> 00:16:28,899 Look, does it have to be the ballet? 159 00:16:29,994 --> 00:16:32,613 Masha loves dancing! It's her passion. 160 00:16:32,744 --> 00:16:36,441 - She's a very a very passionate person. - Ok whatever. So we went to the ballet, then we started dating... 161 00:16:36,577 --> 00:16:40,618 Where did you propose to her? At the Ukrainian bistro. 162 00:16:40,744 --> 00:16:44,192 Ukrainian village restaurant. What's her favorite drink? 163 00:16:44,327 --> 00:16:47,444 I know this one. Stav, stav, stav... 164 00:16:47,577 --> 00:16:49,983 Stavlenniy myod. It's a strong liquor. 165 00:16:50,119 --> 00:16:53,567 - What's her favorite colour? - That's blue. 166 00:16:53,703 --> 00:16:56,654 Red! It's red. Final answer. 167 00:16:56,786 --> 00:16:59,570 What does she hate more than anything? 168 00:16:59,703 --> 00:17:02,108 Big Limey thugs. 169 00:17:02,244 --> 00:17:08,075 Womanizers! Womanizers! She hates womanizers! Brick I was kidding, it was a bad joke in retrospect. 170 00:17:08,203 --> 00:17:12,825 You listen to me. The date's been set for you and Masha to meet at a nightclub. 171 00:17:12,953 --> 00:17:19,316 You put on a good show for your authorities, but if you go too far... I'll rip your heart out! 172 00:17:19,453 --> 00:17:22,949 Okay. I appreciate your encouragement, sir. 173 00:17:25,786 --> 00:17:29,650 You know this would help, if I knew what she looked like. 174 00:17:31,911 --> 00:17:35,822 To me she's the most beautiful woman in the world. 175 00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:55,444 Hi, I'm Brian. Brick told me a lot about you. 176 00:17:56,245 --> 00:18:01,068 - Zoya. - Zoya? You're not Masha? 177 00:18:01,203 --> 00:18:04,236 - Zoya. - You're not Masha that's awesome! 178 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:16,490 Masha! Hi... 179 00:18:20,870 --> 00:18:23,026 Brian? 180 00:18:24,953 --> 00:18:27,157 Masha? 181 00:18:29,078 --> 00:18:33,487 Anya? Take us to the table, Okay. 182 00:18:34,453 --> 00:18:36,243 Come on. 183 00:18:46,745 --> 00:18:48,652 Thank you. 184 00:18:52,453 --> 00:18:55,985 - This is awkward. - Yes it is. 185 00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:59,651 I had no idea what you look like. 186 00:18:59,787 --> 00:19:04,279 - You look disappointed. - No, no, not disappointed, your English is perfect. 187 00:19:04,412 --> 00:19:06,900 Oh I had an American nanny my whole childhood. 188 00:19:07,037 --> 00:19:10,485 - You look exactly the way I thought you would. - I do? 189 00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:14,199 I checked out your Facebook profile. 190 00:19:14,329 --> 00:19:20,657 Oh my. Listen that was one night, a bachelor party, those weren't my cowboy boots... my friends. Not together. 191 00:19:21,787 --> 00:19:25,584 - I know you're only here because of what happened to my mother's cat. - I'm so sorry about that. 192 00:19:25,620 --> 00:19:30,858 No, no, no... No offense or anything, but I don't wanna marry you either. I don't even know you. 193 00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:34,824 I know that you're a photographer and that you have hazel brown eyes... 194 00:19:34,954 --> 00:19:37,822 but that hardly qualifies. 195 00:19:39,829 --> 00:19:43,988 Look, I know I'm breaking the law. I could have been admitted legally in less than a year... 196 00:19:44,121 --> 00:19:47,901 but that was before my father decided to bribe the INS. 197 00:19:48,037 --> 00:19:51,699 I told him to stay out of it, but... 198 00:19:54,371 --> 00:19:59,656 Okay, there are two men over there watching us right now. 199 00:20:01,871 --> 00:20:05,071 Just act natural or something. 200 00:20:11,496 --> 00:20:13,403 What do we do? 201 00:20:13,537 --> 00:20:16,903 Lets, um lets put on a little show for them. Come on. 202 00:20:28,371 --> 00:20:31,653 I'm not exactly Mikhail Baryshnikov out here. 203 00:20:31,788 --> 00:20:35,200 - Just relax. - Okay. 204 00:20:39,413 --> 00:20:42,909 Oh! Yeah... okay. 205 00:20:43,038 --> 00:20:46,486 - Oh no, no, no... - Yeah this is good, right? 206 00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:50,780 - No, just take my lead okay? - Okay. 207 00:20:50,913 --> 00:20:54,658 Slow, slow, slow... 208 00:21:01,663 --> 00:21:05,111 - You think they made us? - Oh yeah. 209 00:21:13,246 --> 00:21:16,493 - Um, I think they're leaving. - Who? 210 00:21:16,621 --> 00:21:19,323 The INS agents. 211 00:21:19,455 --> 00:21:23,780 Oh, right. Well, we should probably play it safe. 212 00:21:33,246 --> 00:21:36,328 Coast is clear! See you at the wedding! 213 00:21:45,830 --> 00:21:52,739 Mr. Lighthouse, we'd like to ask you a few questions. I'm Agent Ross. INS. This is my partner Agent Meyers. 214 00:21:52,872 --> 00:21:56,817 So we understand that you're gonna marry Masha Nikitin? 215 00:21:56,955 --> 00:21:59,704 Yes! Yes I am. 216 00:21:59,830 --> 00:22:05,032 We've been dating for a few months. She loves the colour red and... and she hates womanizers. 217 00:22:07,247 --> 00:22:11,406 So where did you two meet? At the Joffrey. 218 00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:15,402 We saw "The Nutcracker". The "Gazelle", "Giselle". 219 00:22:15,538 --> 00:22:19,995 - It was a triple bill. - So you're a big ballet fan then, huh? 220 00:22:20,122 --> 00:22:27,078 No. Actually I'm not. I was given free tickets and I said maybe I should go. And then I'd meet a Croation bride. 221 00:22:27,205 --> 00:22:29,409 Check! 222 00:22:29,539 --> 00:22:32,702 Um, what-what-what's this about, gentlemen? 223 00:22:32,830 --> 00:22:38,032 I think You know Mr Lighthouse. Masha's Nikitin's visa's about to run out, and she conveniently marries you in the nick of time. 224 00:22:38,164 --> 00:22:41,260 Did her father offer you money to marry his daughter? 225 00:22:41,532 --> 00:22:43,155 Guys, come on... 226 00:22:43,199 --> 00:22:47,298 Y' know, Vlatko Nikitin is a very powerful Eastern European crime figure. 227 00:22:47,705 --> 00:22:52,612 He's being investigated for racketeering, extortion, murder... and you wanna be his son-in-law? 228 00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:58,495 - How much is he paying you, Lighthouse? - Nothing, and I will swear that on a stack of Bibles. 229 00:22:58,622 --> 00:23:03,321 Well, we understand that he's paying for a mega-buck honeymoon out in the South Pacific. What about that? 230 00:23:04,715 --> 00:23:08,149 - He is? - You're telling us you don't know about your own honeymoon? 231 00:23:08,536 --> 00:23:12,489 Oh, my... my honeymoon? Of course, I know. Duh! 232 00:23:12,664 --> 00:23:15,781 I just didn't know that he was paying for the full thing. 233 00:23:15,914 --> 00:23:19,161 God, you guys ruined that surprise. There's no Santa, too? 234 00:23:19,289 --> 00:23:22,619 You'll go to jail for hell of a long time, if you're not telling us the truth. 235 00:23:22,747 --> 00:23:26,279 Or you'll end up dead. You really think he's gonna let you walk away from this? 236 00:23:26,414 --> 00:23:33,288 If this wedding is the result of coercion, we can offer you full immunity... if you help us. 237 00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:38,571 Help you do what? Well we need to know everything about Nikitins business dealings. 238 00:23:38,706 --> 00:23:41,076 Bank accounts, money laundering, the works. 239 00:23:44,956 --> 00:23:50,193 I'm sorry guys, but uh, no one's pressuring me into this, alright? I love Masha. 240 00:23:52,373 --> 00:23:58,487 Okay. Well um, just think about it. 241 00:24:01,123 --> 00:24:04,986 Um, thats but, I have nothing to hide. 242 00:24:08,231 --> 00:24:09,604 Meow! 243 00:24:10,489 --> 00:24:12,895 Tonya! What are you doing here? 244 00:24:14,289 --> 00:24:19,445 - Looking for some catnip, you got any? - Catnip no. I don't have catnip. 245 00:24:19,581 --> 00:24:24,285 Look ah! You look great... ish. But you have got to get out of here, okay? 246 00:24:24,415 --> 00:24:27,862 I'll let you pose me and take pictures of me if you want. 247 00:24:32,748 --> 00:24:35,995 Tonya, you really need to go, okay? 248 00:24:39,681 --> 00:24:45,015 - Look, if you care about me at all, you'll forget about me, okay? - I'm not giving up on you that easily, Brian. 249 00:24:47,065 --> 00:24:48,833 Mreowr! 250 00:25:02,123 --> 00:25:07,325 Welcome everyone! I would like to make a toast to the newlyweds, Za mladenci! 251 00:25:07,457 --> 00:25:10,027 Za mladenci! 252 00:25:13,332 --> 00:25:15,406 Za mladenci! 253 00:25:15,540 --> 00:25:17,863 Love you, Dad! 254 00:25:29,707 --> 00:25:32,954 This is private reception. 255 00:25:35,707 --> 00:25:38,823 - Okay! - Whoa, Mrs. Lighthouse! 256 00:25:38,957 --> 00:25:43,614 - Did I tell you how beautiful you look? - Was that before or after you got drunk? 257 00:25:43,748 --> 00:25:48,121 Oh! That's me, "Luba Chernobyl." 258 00:25:48,249 --> 00:25:50,819 You can search me, if you want. 259 00:25:56,290 --> 00:25:59,573 I'm really gonna like being married to you. 260 00:26:05,957 --> 00:26:12,138 [speaking Croatian] 261 00:26:14,582 --> 00:26:17,284 Gorko, Gorko, Gorko. 262 00:26:17,709 --> 00:26:19,709 Gorko, Gorko, Gorko. 263 00:26:20,874 --> 00:26:27,615 Gorko, Gorko, Gorko, Gorko Gorko, Gorko, Gorko, Gorko, Gorko, Gorko, Gorko Gorko... 264 00:26:28,416 --> 00:26:32,326 Who's Gorko? It means the vine is bitter. 265 00:26:32,457 --> 00:26:37,956 We must kiss her as long as it takes to make the vine sweet, its a Slavic tradition. 266 00:26:38,082 --> 00:26:40,618 Who am I to mess with tradition? 267 00:26:53,749 --> 00:26:58,371 Relax! You can do you what you want to him, after she gains citizenship. 268 00:27:06,207 --> 00:27:09,408 I love this woman! 269 00:27:11,541 --> 00:27:14,788 I would like to make a toast to the groom, Brian. 270 00:27:15,958 --> 00:27:20,698 You and I have shared many intimate moments together. 271 00:27:20,833 --> 00:27:23,831 Most of them have involved animals. 272 00:27:24,666 --> 00:27:28,956 Some like the night where you had me dress up like a kitten... 273 00:27:29,083 --> 00:27:31,239 I will never forget that. 274 00:27:31,374 --> 00:27:33,993 Well, well, well... he's got a little girlfriend. 275 00:27:34,124 --> 00:27:36,435 - Resolve this. - I know you love me, Brian... 276 00:27:36,461 --> 00:27:39,186 Who else can make Mr. Piggy squeal like I do? 277 00:27:39,291 --> 00:27:40,997 Okay... 278 00:27:41,791 --> 00:27:44,908 Aah! I not giving up on you! 279 00:27:45,041 --> 00:27:49,829 Sorry 'bout that. That was, ah... my assistant, ah... former assistant. 280 00:27:49,958 --> 00:27:56,914 She's ah... she's crazy. Wooh! Somehow thinks that we're in a relationship but, that is totally, unequivably false. 281 00:27:57,041 --> 00:28:01,782 Because I've only loved one woman in my life besides my mother... 282 00:28:01,916 --> 00:28:06,124 and today I was lucky enough to to marry her. 283 00:28:07,625 --> 00:28:13,704 Stop, stop... Well, lets party guys! It's a wedding! Sorktum, sorktum, go Gorkoh! 284 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,910 You are doing a very convincing job of pretending to love my daughter. 285 00:28:23,041 --> 00:28:28,244 - It's not like I have a choice. - My wife, she's excellent judge of character. 286 00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:33,079 She sees what she sees, even if you blind. 287 00:28:33,833 --> 00:28:37,495 - I don't love your daughter. - Nothing must happen on honeymoon. 288 00:28:37,625 --> 00:28:42,163 - But then why are we even going on a honeymoon? - INS will suspect nothing. 289 00:28:42,292 --> 00:28:45,740 Resort is far. Maybe they not follow. 290 00:28:45,875 --> 00:28:52,038 Eye's will be watching you. So make sure that Little Brian does not take over for Big Brian. 291 00:28:52,167 --> 00:28:54,951 - If you my grab my meaning! - Oh! 292 00:28:57,708 --> 00:29:01,172 [speaking Croatian] 293 00:29:06,985 --> 00:29:18,217 [speaking Croatian] 294 00:29:24,830 --> 00:29:28,870 - What did she say? - She said, "Take good care of our Masha..." 295 00:29:29,125 --> 00:29:32,538 "or you will suffer beyond all imagination." 296 00:29:33,300 --> 00:29:37,246 Oh? That's what I thought, that's what I thought she said. 297 00:29:49,042 --> 00:29:53,118 - You know, you didn't say a word to me the whole flight. - You passed out the entire flight. 298 00:29:53,251 --> 00:29:56,051 - Can we talk about this? - What is there to talk about? 299 00:29:56,062 --> 00:29:57,894 You play your part and I'll play mine. 300 00:29:58,259 --> 00:30:03,082 Well, yeah... we're gonna be spending a lot of time together. I mean, can we at least try and be friends? 301 00:30:03,417 --> 00:30:05,906 We'll see. 302 00:30:13,042 --> 00:30:17,329 - Ahem! - Oh, hi! May I help you? 303 00:30:17,459 --> 00:30:22,828 Yeah, hi! Um, we're on the 11am flight to Nuku Hiva, staying at the Lover's Bay Resort... 304 00:30:22,959 --> 00:30:27,865 Oh, I'm sorry. All flights to the Marquesas have been canceled due to a weather system. 305 00:30:28,001 --> 00:30:33,370 But, oh! But you can try and book a local room at that counter. 306 00:30:35,293 --> 00:30:39,244 Um... do you have another way we can get there? 307 00:30:40,501 --> 00:30:43,250 Ernesto can fly you there. 308 00:30:43,376 --> 00:30:46,974 - Who is Ernesto? - Ernesto Esteban Cruz. 309 00:30:48,626 --> 00:30:52,270 Like Penelope Cruz. She won the Oscar. 310 00:30:54,376 --> 00:30:59,531 I checked the Doppler, the machine checking storms, the storm heading south. 311 00:30:59,668 --> 00:31:03,329 It should miss Nuku Hiva by a little short hair. 312 00:31:03,459 --> 00:31:08,413 Plus you get guided tour, a private flight, and free sandwiches. 313 00:31:08,543 --> 00:31:10,747 Ham and cheese. 314 00:31:12,543 --> 00:31:16,453 - Um, should we try this? - Um, are you sure this is safe? 315 00:31:18,043 --> 00:31:21,539 I haven't lost a passenger yet. 316 00:31:31,793 --> 00:31:37,031 "If you look to your left you will see the magnificent Hiva Oa island." 317 00:31:38,126 --> 00:31:40,828 "The second largest in the Marquesas." 318 00:31:43,251 --> 00:31:48,074 - Um, how much further? - Ah, the beautiful island of Bora Bora..." 319 00:31:48,210 --> 00:31:52,784 "is coming up on your right, it is in the leeward group of Society Islands." 320 00:31:52,918 --> 00:31:57,291 Wait a minute! Bora Bora is nowhere near Nuku Hiva. Do you even know where we are? 321 00:31:57,418 --> 00:32:00,535 Not exactly, my instruments are down. 322 00:32:01,168 --> 00:32:04,783 - Would either of you like a sandwich? - I'm sorry. Did you say your instruments are down? 323 00:32:04,918 --> 00:32:08,782 Yes. I have ham and cheese... 324 00:32:08,918 --> 00:32:10,790 or just cheese. 325 00:32:12,335 --> 00:32:17,733 - Are we gonna crash? - I don't like to use the term crash, it's negative. 326 00:32:18,335 --> 00:32:22,156 - I prefer the term "catastrophic failure." - Oh my god! 327 00:32:22,157 --> 00:32:23,497 It is more professional. 328 00:32:25,293 --> 00:32:27,663 Brace for impact! 329 00:32:34,752 --> 00:32:37,666 Welcome to Nuku Hiva. 330 00:33:11,710 --> 00:33:14,708 Okay! We have arrived. 331 00:33:19,211 --> 00:33:21,367 Senor. 332 00:33:24,919 --> 00:33:27,372 Paysan! 333 00:33:32,169 --> 00:33:34,206 Gracias. 334 00:33:41,627 --> 00:33:44,625 Gratuity. It's not included. 335 00:33:46,086 --> 00:33:49,914 Um, okay, I'm sorry, I know it says in the guide book there's no tipping in Tahiti. 336 00:33:50,044 --> 00:33:54,915 - You going to believe guide book, or Ernesto? - Are you kidding me you almost got us killed like a hundred times! 337 00:33:55,044 --> 00:33:59,369 You're on honeymoon, it's like best aphrodisiac money can buy. 338 00:33:59,503 --> 00:34:03,448 Look, working already. Come on. 339 00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:08,084 Okay. 340 00:34:11,419 --> 00:34:16,657 Gracias. Enjoy your honeymoon, huh. Give her one for me. 341 00:34:24,461 --> 00:34:27,909 Con su permiso. Con su permiso! 342 00:34:55,595 --> 00:34:58,309 Don't even think about it. Whoo! 343 00:35:31,962 --> 00:35:34,960 - Hey. - Hey. 344 00:35:35,087 --> 00:35:39,661 - Brick said that was your favourite. - They say it stirs your passion. 345 00:35:39,795 --> 00:35:45,164 - I just like the taste. Want some? - Ah, yeah sure. 346 00:35:45,962 --> 00:35:50,121 - God, I've never stayed in a place this nice before. - Yeah. 347 00:35:50,253 --> 00:35:56,286 My idea of a perfect honeymoon is staying in a primitive village, dancing barefoot under the moonlight. 348 00:35:56,420 --> 00:36:00,995 - Somehow I can't see Brick going for that. - I'm not gonna marry Brick. 349 00:36:01,970 --> 00:36:04,563 I'm gonna marry somebody I'm in love with. 350 00:36:08,445 --> 00:36:13,149 You know actually, uh, I really like your jungle honeymoon idea. 351 00:36:13,179 --> 00:36:16,797 - Really? - Yeah. Well, sort of my plan was, y' know... 352 00:36:16,798 --> 00:36:19,900 to shoot for National Geographic, explore the the world. 353 00:36:19,901 --> 00:36:23,977 I got the next best thing. I take pictures of pets in stupid costumes. 354 00:36:24,304 --> 00:36:27,082 Well, once I get my citizenship I'm gonna open my own dance studio. 355 00:36:27,098 --> 00:36:28,830 - Really? - Yeah, I was lucky. 356 00:36:28,937 --> 00:36:33,808 My parents paid for all my lessons. I'd like to see other kids have the same opportunity. 357 00:36:34,170 --> 00:36:37,107 Well, thats great, really cool. 358 00:36:37,674 --> 00:36:42,497 - To both of us finding happiness. - Yeah! To happiness. 359 00:36:44,587 --> 00:36:50,168 Oh that's good... stir my passion! Not you! Or your robe, which I didn't even notice, it's not flattering. 360 00:36:52,504 --> 00:36:57,042 - I can't believe I'm actually married. - Me neither. 361 00:37:00,212 --> 00:37:04,253 Okay, you know what? You, uh, you take the bed. I'll, uh, I'll do the chair. 362 00:37:04,379 --> 00:37:08,586 - You sure? - Yeah, yeah, it's all yours. 363 00:37:10,126 --> 00:37:14,167 - Where you going? - I'm just gonna get some fresh air. 364 00:37:14,550 --> 00:37:18,137 It's a long day... almost died, a bunch! Yeah. 365 00:37:18,337 --> 00:37:19,451 Okay. 366 00:37:20,343 --> 00:37:24,272 Okay. Ah, don't wait up... dear. 367 00:37:56,171 --> 00:38:00,468 - Ready for another? - Yes, definitely. 368 00:38:01,088 --> 00:38:04,121 - Al! - Got it. - Thanks, Al! 369 00:38:04,254 --> 00:38:08,383 - Should I charge this to your room? - Um, yeah, yeah, I'm over in bungalow 12. 370 00:38:09,046 --> 00:38:12,246 Oh! The Honeymoon Suite. Where's your wife? 371 00:38:13,338 --> 00:38:16,336 Ah! My wife is... she's sleeping. 372 00:38:16,463 --> 00:38:20,124 It's a really long trip in, she's pretty fried. 373 00:38:21,046 --> 00:38:23,855 If it was my honeymoon, I wouldn't let my husband out of the bungalow. 374 00:38:23,856 --> 00:38:25,897 Ooh, that's naughty. 375 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,435 It seems to me you need to inject a little more romance into your marriage. 376 00:38:29,535 --> 00:38:32,154 Yeah. You have no idea. 377 00:38:32,786 --> 00:38:34,597 Well, what does she love? 378 00:38:37,488 --> 00:38:42,608 She loves to dance. Yeah, she's a dancer. And it sucks because I'm a terrible dancer. 379 00:38:42,938 --> 00:38:46,560 - That's an easy fix! - Whoa! Where are we going? Where are we going? 380 00:38:46,608 --> 00:38:50,270 - I'm gonna give you a dance lesson. - Y' know, I don't think that's a great idea. 381 00:38:50,355 --> 00:38:52,176 - You need to loosen up. - Yeah, I know. 382 00:38:52,315 --> 00:38:54,508 Okay, show me your best dance move. 383 00:38:54,822 --> 00:38:57,034 - My best dance move? - Yep. 384 00:39:00,905 --> 00:39:05,148 - Okay, stop. You're kidding right? - Yeah. Of course, yeah. 385 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:09,321 I thought so. Okay so concentrate on the music. 386 00:39:09,447 --> 00:39:15,111 - And move these hips. - Okay, these hips are movin'. 387 00:39:15,238 --> 00:39:18,485 No, they're not. 388 00:39:18,613 --> 00:39:23,152 Alright, close your eyes, and imagine you're with her. 389 00:39:25,780 --> 00:39:28,399 Scent of her perfume. 390 00:39:29,489 --> 00:39:32,155 The warmth of her skin. 391 00:39:33,697 --> 00:39:36,481 Yeah. I can feel it. 392 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,728 I can feel it. I'm dancing. Yeah! 393 00:39:43,322 --> 00:39:45,526 Not good. 394 00:39:51,455 --> 00:39:55,166 - Masha, come back and dance and with me! - Apparently you already have a partner. 395 00:39:55,197 --> 00:39:57,960 No, no, no. She was just teaching me to dance, so I could impress you. 396 00:39:57,986 --> 00:39:58,894 Well you certainly did. 397 00:39:58,900 --> 00:40:01,190 Hey, hey hey, you know what? 398 00:40:01,322 --> 00:40:07,861 - I'm not some playboy okay? I mean, I know you hate womanizers. - Brian, Brian... 399 00:40:07,989 --> 00:40:10,135 You don't know anything about me. 400 00:40:10,653 --> 00:40:13,632 I don't care what you do, as long as it doesn't effect my citizenship. 401 00:40:13,741 --> 00:40:18,197 But flaunting yourself with some waitress on the first day of our honeymoon is just plain stupid. 402 00:40:18,272 --> 00:40:20,725 You're right. No, you're right. 403 00:40:21,614 --> 00:40:24,814 You're right. I'm sorry. 404 00:40:26,447 --> 00:40:31,105 You look amazing in this dress. 405 00:40:32,906 --> 00:40:36,318 This relationship is about me getting my citizenship. 406 00:40:37,047 --> 00:40:42,167 And you paying your debt to my father. Nothing more. 407 00:40:48,214 --> 00:40:49,960 - Brickland! - Yes, Boss. 408 00:40:49,999 --> 00:40:51,831 Not enough goat in stew. 409 00:40:52,006 --> 00:40:53,855 Don't worry, I'll have a word with the chef. 410 00:40:55,231 --> 00:40:59,949 - Have you heard from contact at resort? - No, they got hit by a storm. All the phones are down. 411 00:41:01,256 --> 00:41:04,034 - I don't trust that photographer. - I share your concerns. 412 00:41:04,234 --> 00:41:07,604 I'd like to go out there and keep an eye on him, if it's alright with you. 413 00:41:19,798 --> 00:41:22,369 Hi. 414 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,272 - Hi. - Hey. 415 00:41:35,298 --> 00:41:40,545 - I got you into trouble last night, didn't I? - No, no you didn't. That was my fault. 416 00:41:40,606 --> 00:41:44,006 - Well, I know how you can make it up to her. - I'm good. Thanks. 417 00:41:44,081 --> 00:41:48,523 There's a secluded cove about a mile away from here, unbelievably romantic. 418 00:41:49,298 --> 00:41:51,587 You two could even swim naked if you wanted to. 419 00:41:51,588 --> 00:41:55,052 You know what? We'll probably stay with the pool. I don't think she wants to see... 420 00:41:55,432 --> 00:41:57,442 Here, I drew you a map. 421 00:41:58,090 --> 00:42:00,700 I guarantee it'll solve all your problems. 422 00:42:07,131 --> 00:42:10,549 - Hello, Mom. - I'm lonely! 423 00:42:10,681 --> 00:42:13,386 Being couped up here is about as much fun as a hemorrhoid. 424 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:16,099 Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you slapped a police officer. 425 00:42:16,107 --> 00:42:20,563 I wasn't speeding! He deserved it. Hold on. 426 00:42:20,668 --> 00:42:26,368 - Hey, Dingle Plumbing. But I'm not Walt. - The kitchen sink, it smells like something crawled up in there and died. 427 00:42:26,923 --> 00:42:28,996 Yeah, it would't be the first time. 428 00:42:30,590 --> 00:42:35,129 Why are you answering your phone anyway? You should be bonking your wife. 429 00:42:35,965 --> 00:42:40,504 Ah, mom, listen I told you this is a business arrangement, alright? I mean, she's not even attracted to me. 430 00:42:40,632 --> 00:42:45,372 I wasn't attracted to your father but that didn't stop me! Wham-bam, call the diaper-man. 431 00:42:45,507 --> 00:42:48,837 That's all I'm gonna say. 432 00:42:48,965 --> 00:42:52,165 That's all you had to say, Mom. 433 00:43:03,090 --> 00:43:06,586 - Hey. - Hey. 434 00:43:08,674 --> 00:43:13,296 - Can you put some sunscreen on my back? - Yeah, of course. 435 00:43:18,757 --> 00:43:21,342 - Look, um, I'm sorry about last night. - I over reacted. 436 00:43:21,689 --> 00:43:22,941 You know what, it was me. 437 00:43:23,049 --> 00:43:28,832 No no no, It was a stressful day for both of us. Let's just pretend like it never happened, okay. 438 00:43:28,965 --> 00:43:31,632 Yeah, deal. 439 00:43:34,590 --> 00:43:37,672 - You know, I know where there's a really nice lagoon. - Okay... 440 00:43:39,341 --> 00:43:43,879 Yeah, it's beautiful, it's private. We can probably, y'know, go skinny dip- 441 00:43:44,007 --> 00:43:48,215 we can just swim there... whatever you'd like, whatever you want. 442 00:43:51,257 --> 00:43:53,746 How did you find out about this place? 443 00:43:53,882 --> 00:43:58,504 Um, honestly the uh, the waitress drew me a map. She, uh... 444 00:43:58,632 --> 00:44:04,581 She felt bad about what happened the other night and said that we should come here, because it's gonna be great. 445 00:44:04,716 --> 00:44:08,756 - It's amazing. - Yeah, hold that, hold that. 446 00:44:09,632 --> 00:44:13,080 Wow, beautiful. Beautiful! Alright... 447 00:44:13,216 --> 00:44:16,581 Yeah, Mrs. Lighthouse. Okay... oh yeah. 448 00:44:16,716 --> 00:44:19,500 Looking good. Alright. 449 00:44:19,633 --> 00:44:24,171 Now give me one that says, "Why am I in a sailor costume? I'm a cat." 450 00:44:24,299 --> 00:44:29,203 Yeah, go ahead and laugh, that's pretty much my work day. And the pet owners that come in... are crazy! 451 00:44:29,627 --> 00:44:33,475 Except for your mother. She's not crazy. She's terrific, she's awesome. 452 00:44:33,549 --> 00:44:38,372 - And your dad, remember? "Gorko, Gorko..." - They're not terrific people. 453 00:44:38,808 --> 00:44:43,434 They're criminals. But they're my family. 454 00:44:44,470 --> 00:44:46,888 You're not the only one with family problems. 455 00:44:48,922 --> 00:44:51,728 Everyone thinks my dad ran away. 456 00:44:53,508 --> 00:44:56,906 - But my mom actually killed him. - Oh, my god. 457 00:44:57,108 --> 00:45:02,642 She-she buried him in the back yard. And actually, I've seen two client's dogs... 458 00:45:03,763 --> 00:45:08,171 dig up my Dad. I think they smelled his cologne thing, I don't know what it was but... 459 00:45:08,675 --> 00:45:15,042 they were sort of running around with my dad's bones, in their mouth, like around the back yard, it was like a dogfight. 460 00:45:15,043 --> 00:45:17,227 - You are so pathetic! - What are you talkin' about? 461 00:45:17,301 --> 00:45:19,111 - I needed therapy for that! - Come on! 462 00:45:19,216 --> 00:45:22,913 Seriously, with my Dad's bones! I mean, right in their mouths... 463 00:45:34,133 --> 00:45:37,581 - It is so beautiful! - Yeah, it sure is. 464 00:45:37,716 --> 00:45:41,497 Alright, hold on. Let me like take like two or three... hundred. Just... 465 00:45:44,050 --> 00:45:45,232 Alright, you know what? 466 00:45:46,622 --> 00:45:50,882 Let's do this. Come on, Mrs. Lighthouse! Come get in the water, come on! Wooh! 467 00:45:57,565 --> 00:45:59,086 Come on in. 468 00:45:59,353 --> 00:46:03,670 - Wooh, yeah! Alright! - Oh! I see how it is. 469 00:46:03,867 --> 00:46:06,640 - What are you doing? - Oh, it's on baby, it's on. 470 00:46:06,967 --> 00:46:09,834 What are y- Oh, okay! Ow! 471 00:46:10,380 --> 00:46:12,974 You're in trouble, Mrs. Lighthouse! 472 00:46:14,300 --> 00:46:18,590 - Yeah! Bullseye! - Hmm, very smart. Now what are you gonna do? 473 00:46:18,717 --> 00:46:21,040 - Come on! - Oh! 474 00:46:22,050 --> 00:46:26,754 - Wait a second. Did you hear that? - Uh-huh, it's probably Brick coming. How's the water naked man? 475 00:46:26,784 --> 00:46:29,703 - Throw me my trunks, Masha! - You want them, you'll have to come and get them. 476 00:46:29,805 --> 00:46:32,302 I'm serious! If somebody finds me here with you like this, I'm in deep... 477 00:46:32,334 --> 00:46:35,471 Come on you worry too much. It's probably an animal. Do you want me to look? 478 00:46:35,671 --> 00:46:39,001 No! Throw me my trunks. Masha! My trunks! Masha! 479 00:46:43,884 --> 00:46:46,254 Masha. Masha! 480 00:46:47,842 --> 00:46:51,006 Very funny, Masha. Where are you? 481 00:46:52,300 --> 00:46:55,049 Masha? 482 00:47:12,551 --> 00:47:17,457 - 2 o'clock. That'll be fun, have fun! - Gift shop. It's Gucci. 483 00:47:19,051 --> 00:47:23,039 - I see you're enjoying your honeymoon, Mr Lighthouse. - I am, um... 484 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:25,804 - have you, have you seen my wife? - Ah, the bellman just let her in to your bungalow. 485 00:47:25,805 --> 00:47:27,153 Oh great. Thank you. 486 00:47:32,509 --> 00:47:36,503 Okay... very funny ditching me like that. 487 00:47:38,864 --> 00:47:43,272 - You Tarzan, me Tonya. - No, no, no. How did you even get here? 488 00:47:43,843 --> 00:47:47,504 Frequent flier miles. Don't make me feel like I wasted them. 489 00:47:47,634 --> 00:47:52,256 - Okay, no, no, no, you have to leave here. - Right after I trim your hedge. 490 00:47:52,384 --> 00:47:55,169 - Hello? - Brian, honey, it's your mother. 491 00:47:55,301 --> 00:47:57,754 Hey, Mom. Stop. 492 00:47:57,884 --> 00:48:00,882 Thank god. It sounds like, you're finally getting down to business. 493 00:48:01,009 --> 00:48:06,165 - Mom, I can't really talk right now. - Pace youself on the foreplay, alright? 494 00:48:06,301 --> 00:48:10,591 - When you're hungry, everything looks tasty. - It's so tight. 495 00:48:12,718 --> 00:48:17,375 - That's all I'm gonna say. - Can you hand me my snake? 496 00:48:19,009 --> 00:48:22,920 Okay, you know what? Stop! I'm married. Okay? Get that into your head. 497 00:48:25,668 --> 00:48:29,584 It's Masha! It's Masha! Masha? Masha, where are you? 498 00:48:29,635 --> 00:48:34,339 We have your wife. We want 10 million US dollars by 6pm tomorrow. 499 00:48:34,468 --> 00:48:39,007 If you involve the police or any authorities, we will kill her. We will text you the account number. 500 00:48:39,035 --> 00:48:44,918 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm a pet photographer, I don't have ten million dollars! - Then find someone who does, if you want her to live. 501 00:48:49,710 --> 00:48:51,837 We should be okay now. 502 00:48:52,193 --> 00:48:54,000 Who are you? 503 00:48:54,989 --> 00:48:58,555 - Where are you taking me? - Shut up. 504 00:49:06,060 --> 00:49:09,737 - I think Masha's been kidnapped. - Well, don't look at me. 505 00:49:12,310 --> 00:49:13,732 Oooh, looks like it went well... 506 00:49:13,832 --> 00:49:15,511 - Somebody kidnapped my wife! - What?! 507 00:49:15,512 --> 00:49:18,057 Yeah, they took her from the lagoon, where you sent us! 508 00:49:18,157 --> 00:49:21,027 - What do you know about this? - Nothing! And who's she? 509 00:49:21,552 --> 00:49:25,414 - I'm his girlfriend. Who are you? - You are not my girlfriend! Okay? 510 00:49:25,685 --> 00:49:27,865 Calm down! Tell me what happened. 511 00:49:32,654 --> 00:49:34,525 How you doing? 512 00:49:36,633 --> 00:49:41,555 - Your boy was in here last night dirty dancing with one of the waitresses. - Stupid! 513 00:49:41,935 --> 00:49:44,873 Gets worse. Today I saw him take your woman into the jungle. 514 00:49:45,102 --> 00:49:48,614 Came back bare assed with a couple of banana leaves over his johnson. 515 00:49:49,069 --> 00:49:52,351 This boy... he's a real stud. 516 00:49:55,385 --> 00:50:00,575 - And that pretty much sums it up. - I knew it! I knew the marriage was bogus. 517 00:50:00,610 --> 00:50:02,500 Nobody in their right mind would ever dump me. 518 00:50:02,700 --> 00:50:05,968 - We have to call the police. - No, no, no. They said they'd kill her if I called anyone. 519 00:50:06,260 --> 00:50:10,196 Oh, they always say that. I'd go for it. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? 520 00:50:10,237 --> 00:50:14,065 - She could die, Tonya! - You know, I'm just trying to help! You don't have to yell. 521 00:50:14,677 --> 00:50:19,557 - Where are you supposed to come up with 10 million dollars? - I don't know. The only person I can think of is my father-in-law. 522 00:50:19,757 --> 00:50:25,572 - Problem solved, can we order some room service 'cause I'm starving. - Tonya! Shut up. Please! 523 00:50:26,379 --> 00:50:31,878 If Masha's father finds out that I took her to this secluded lagoon where she happened to get kidnapped, and I'm swimming naked... 524 00:50:32,302 --> 00:50:36,794 he's gonna have me tortured and dismembered! There's no way I can ask him for the money. 525 00:50:36,927 --> 00:50:39,441 - Then you only have one option. - Yeah, and what's that? 526 00:50:40,053 --> 00:50:43,417 - You have to rescue her. - What am I, Batman? 527 00:50:43,418 --> 00:50:47,133 No! I take pictures of dogs dressed as fricking pirates for a living, I can't do that. 528 00:50:47,236 --> 00:50:51,195 I know this island inside and out, so does my cousin. We could help you! 529 00:50:51,196 --> 00:50:53,907 Oh, you can help me? No, thanks! You've helped me enough for one lifetime. 530 00:50:53,908 --> 00:50:55,908 - You wanna blame this whole thing on me? - Well, maybe I should! 531 00:50:55,943 --> 00:50:59,956 Fine! I was just trying to make your marriage better. I mean, it's obvious that you love her. 532 00:51:00,969 --> 00:51:05,016 No, he doesn't, you heard him. He's just helping her get a green card. 533 00:51:05,511 --> 00:51:08,213 Look... Nuku Hiva isn't that big. 534 00:51:08,344 --> 00:51:12,504 We can find her. Besides what other choice do you have? 535 00:51:14,111 --> 00:51:16,809 - Open the door. - Hah!! Get out of here! 536 00:51:16,810 --> 00:51:18,834 Go, go, go! Out! Go, go, go! 537 00:51:20,779 --> 00:51:22,174 Where are we supposed to go? 538 00:51:22,175 --> 00:51:25,754 Open the door! 539 00:51:29,336 --> 00:51:33,033 - Hey, Brick. What brings you here? - Masha. 540 00:51:39,103 --> 00:51:42,671 Don't get the wrong idea. I slept on the chair. 541 00:51:43,031 --> 00:51:46,099 - I should kill you right now. - I promise! Ask Masha. 542 00:51:46,553 --> 00:51:48,422 Hurry up. Jump! 543 00:51:48,522 --> 00:51:51,887 - Where is she? - I don't know, I don't-this hurts! 544 00:51:52,553 --> 00:51:55,245 - Just jump! I'll catch you. - Are you crazy? 545 00:51:55,736 --> 00:51:57,303 Jump! 546 00:52:00,445 --> 00:52:03,063 Nice catch, cougar. 547 00:52:06,011 --> 00:52:09,294 I just want to let you know that Brian is mine. So don't get any ideas. 548 00:52:09,336 --> 00:52:13,585 - I just want to help him. Do you? - Well yeah, when you put it that way. 549 00:52:14,051 --> 00:52:17,447 - I need to find my cousin. - What am I supposed to do? 550 00:52:17,753 --> 00:52:22,943 - Buy some provisions, you think you can handle that? - I can out-shop you any day, sweetie. 551 00:52:27,445 --> 00:52:30,559 One last chance. Where is she? 552 00:52:30,887 --> 00:52:34,418 She's at the pool, she's at the pool. 553 00:52:34,453 --> 00:52:37,368 She'd better be. 554 00:53:03,937 --> 00:53:08,428 Where's Masha? Tell me the truth, or I'll break your sweet little neck. 555 00:53:11,611 --> 00:53:13,850 - My cousin's here. - Your cousin...? 556 00:53:14,054 --> 00:53:16,852 ...and he and the slutty waitress are gonna try and rescue her. That's all I know. 557 00:53:20,404 --> 00:53:22,308 There's my cousin. 558 00:53:34,406 --> 00:53:38,668 - We need to re-think this whole plan. - We're wasting time. Ernesto can help us cover the whole island. 559 00:53:38,768 --> 00:53:42,358 - Oh, Ernesto? Great. - That's right. My bird is all fixed up ready to go. 560 00:53:42,359 --> 00:53:46,032 - I'm 68% confident. - Oh, 68! That's almost 70. Great. 561 00:53:47,431 --> 00:53:50,742 - Some big foreign guy, he's just tried to kill me. - What? Where? 562 00:53:50,767 --> 00:53:51,986 Right by the pool, he was looking... 563 00:53:51,987 --> 00:53:54,816 - for Sasha, Nasha, whatever her name is. - What did you tell him? 564 00:53:54,916 --> 00:53:57,466 - Everything. I'm no fool. - It's over, I'm dead. 565 00:53:57,846 --> 00:54:02,787 Not your not. You rescue her, you save her father 10 million dollars, and you look like a hero. 566 00:54:02,812 --> 00:54:06,547 Decide quickly. You have an appointment with that guy's fist and elbow. 567 00:54:07,321 --> 00:54:10,402 Okay, okay we should go. We should-we should go. 568 00:54:10,744 --> 00:54:12,309 - Well, you can't just leave me here! - Lets go! 569 00:54:12,971 --> 00:54:14,155 Move over! 570 00:54:14,571 --> 00:54:16,344 Okay, lets go. Here we go. 571 00:54:34,471 --> 00:54:37,042 Time to party. 572 00:54:39,221 --> 00:54:41,295 Oh! Oh no! 573 00:54:43,013 --> 00:54:46,678 - He's shooting! - What are you doing? Oh, god. 574 00:54:46,778 --> 00:54:48,773 You'd better duck down, little lady. 575 00:54:55,679 --> 00:54:57,126 - I need your foot. - Do what?! 576 00:54:57,232 --> 00:54:58,453 - Your foot. - For what? 577 00:54:58,478 --> 00:55:00,478 - For here! - Ahh! 578 00:55:02,946 --> 00:55:05,150 Ernesto! 579 00:55:13,179 --> 00:55:16,430 - Okay. - You can drive! 580 00:55:18,513 --> 00:55:22,720 - Now comes the unexpected the fun part. - Oh, the fun part? 581 00:56:17,488 --> 00:56:20,854 - We're here. - Alright. 582 00:56:23,947 --> 00:56:27,124 - Is that thing fixed? - More fixed than broken. 583 00:56:28,113 --> 00:56:33,227 - You okay, little lady? - What you did back there was amazing. 584 00:56:33,373 --> 00:56:35,527 Ah, we're just getting started. 585 00:56:42,393 --> 00:56:45,508 I get air sick. I need to sit up front with him. 586 00:56:47,030 --> 00:56:49,129 Ernesto! 587 00:57:01,069 --> 00:57:03,771 Here we go. 588 00:57:09,364 --> 00:57:12,232 Um, I think we should hurry! 589 00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:19,360 We'll be long gone, by the time he gets here. Who's your pappi? Who's your pappi? 590 00:57:19,489 --> 00:57:22,689 - Come on! - Um... is there a problem? 591 00:57:22,822 --> 00:57:25,440 Yes and no, mostly yes. 592 00:57:27,156 --> 00:57:30,936 - Come on pappi, come on baby. - Oh, he's getting closer! 593 00:57:31,072 --> 00:57:33,789 - Come on, cus. - Come on, cus! - Come on, Ernesto! 594 00:57:33,890 --> 00:57:35,978 - Come on. - Let's go! Come on! 595 00:57:36,095 --> 00:57:38,276 - Come on! - Come on, baby! 596 00:57:39,364 --> 00:57:42,397 Okay... 597 00:57:42,531 --> 00:57:44,984 Okay. 598 00:57:45,114 --> 00:57:48,410 We're takin' off! We're takin' off! 599 00:58:12,573 --> 00:58:16,496 We made it! Whoo! Yeah! 600 00:58:16,696 --> 00:58:20,044 - Now, that is my idea of a good time. - Yes! 601 00:58:20,323 --> 00:58:25,229 So, tell me, carida, how are you involved in this adventure? 602 00:58:25,364 --> 00:58:30,540 - She's his girlfriend. - But Brian's married now, so that's kind of up in the air... 603 00:58:30,589 --> 00:58:32,125 I think I'm gonna be sick. 604 00:58:32,225 --> 00:58:35,113 - May I offer you a tequila? - Sure. 605 00:58:45,598 --> 00:58:50,670 - Um, should they be...? Is this legal? - We don't have all the accoutrements of my kitchen, but... 606 00:58:50,906 --> 00:58:53,058 we try our best, huh? 607 00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:03,205 Don't worry about it, he's got a high tolerance. 608 00:59:09,573 --> 00:59:12,240 We're fine, we're fine. 609 00:59:21,823 --> 00:59:27,938 Brick's calling from Tahiti. He ​​said that it is important. 610 00:59:28,073 --> 00:59:31,818 Da? Boss, Masha's been kidnapped! 611 00:59:33,032 --> 00:59:34,654 - Who did this? - I don't know... 612 00:59:34,655 --> 00:59:37,575 she was abducted when the photographer took her into the jungle to... 613 00:59:37,675 --> 00:59:40,220 - To what? - To steal her virginity. 614 00:59:40,245 --> 00:59:43,134 The arrogant git strolled into the hotel naked. 615 00:59:43,198 --> 00:59:47,027 - And his bimbo girlfriend's turned up too. - Do you think they are involved in kidnapping? 616 00:59:47,157 --> 00:59:48,977 Yeah they must be. 617 00:59:50,139 --> 00:59:51,395 Oh, Masha... 618 01:00:04,824 --> 01:00:06,149 What are you doing? 619 01:00:06,439 --> 01:00:08,372 - Come on! - What do you want? 620 01:00:10,740 --> 01:00:12,489 Get her in the shed! 621 01:00:25,115 --> 01:00:27,734 Hurry up! 622 01:00:33,654 --> 01:00:37,316 Aah! Get it off me! Get it off me! Get it off! Get it off me! 623 01:00:40,279 --> 01:00:43,076 No! No, no, no, no. 624 01:00:51,616 --> 01:00:54,483 A little buggie... oh, cute. 625 01:00:55,882 --> 01:00:57,226 - Oh, okay. - Get it off! 626 01:00:57,227 --> 01:01:01,063 It's poisonous, it's poisonous... pulling it... away from the... pitchers! 627 01:01:02,974 --> 01:01:05,417 - Do you think they saw us? - How would I know? 628 01:01:05,517 --> 01:01:08,756 - You're a fiesty one. - What do you want? 629 01:01:08,782 --> 01:01:11,306 Do you know who my father is? 630 01:01:11,407 --> 01:01:15,343 We sure do, sweetheart. Daddy's gonna pay a pretty price to get you... 631 01:01:15,344 --> 01:01:16,542 Shut up! 632 01:01:24,491 --> 01:01:30,191 - Hey, you guys see anything yet? - Nothing. Just a very sexy scared young lady. 633 01:01:53,872 --> 01:01:56,676 You need to eat something. 634 01:01:59,449 --> 01:02:02,815 - This is what you bought? - Ow! 635 01:02:02,949 --> 01:02:08,401 - Sorry, they were all out of Bitch Illustrated. - This is not food. What are we supposed to eat? 636 01:02:08,533 --> 01:02:11,949 - I got it covered. - What does he mean he's got it covered? 637 01:02:40,075 --> 01:02:42,474 Who is this guy? Rambo? 638 01:02:48,408 --> 01:02:51,474 You are so primal. 639 01:02:58,283 --> 01:03:01,032 You know we still have tomorrow. 640 01:03:01,158 --> 01:03:07,191 There's a fishing village right around that point. We can hike there after we get a little bit of rest. 641 01:03:07,325 --> 01:03:09,896 The locals might have seen something. 642 01:03:12,700 --> 01:03:16,279 - Why are you even helping me? - 'Cause it's the right thing to do. 643 01:03:16,408 --> 01:03:18,897 And I owe you. 644 01:03:28,742 --> 01:03:31,825 - Whoever you are you have no idea what you're getting yourself into. - Shut up! 645 01:03:33,395 --> 01:03:37,718 - You're pathetic. - And you're a spoiled little princess who needs to be taught a lesson. Oh! 646 01:03:38,975 --> 01:03:42,903 Hello! Help! Somebody help me! 647 01:03:42,909 --> 01:03:44,546 Be quiet! 648 01:03:45,325 --> 01:03:47,896 I told you to leave her alone. 649 01:03:50,534 --> 01:03:52,904 Now don't move! 650 01:03:59,909 --> 01:04:01,407 Get up! 651 01:04:13,921 --> 01:04:15,858 Uh-huh, you're sure about this? 652 01:04:19,409 --> 01:04:23,154 Two Americans were here a couple of days ago, in a four wheel drive. 653 01:04:23,284 --> 01:04:26,199 They bought a few days worth of provisions, and some heavy fishing line. 654 01:04:26,326 --> 01:04:30,615 Obviously they went fishing. They didn't have poles, and they drove into those mountains. 655 01:04:30,742 --> 01:04:33,278 Well, they sound really stupid. 656 01:04:35,034 --> 01:04:39,573 The road inland passes an old compound, where some surfers used to shape boards. 657 01:04:39,701 --> 01:04:44,239 - Somehow we missed it during the fly-over. - We could always fly back. 658 01:04:44,367 --> 01:04:48,575 - We should hike in if we want to surprise them. - How long is that gonna take? 659 01:04:48,701 --> 01:04:51,973 - At least two hours. - Two hours! My god! 660 01:04:52,073 --> 01:04:56,037 - Shut up! - Shut up! - You shut up! How do you know these guys are the kidnappers? 661 01:04:56,076 --> 01:04:59,821 - Or if they're even staying at this place? - We don't, okay, but do you have a better idea? 662 01:04:59,951 --> 01:05:04,320 And I'm not talking about sittin' here reading Cosmo's "10 Best Ways to Please a Man," Tonya. 663 01:05:05,284 --> 01:05:08,633 - At least I don't tickle dog's balls. - I did not tickle that dogs... 664 01:05:08,634 --> 01:05:13,322 Enough! Are you going with us or not? 665 01:05:16,909 --> 01:05:20,655 Fine. But I need to cool off first. 666 01:05:21,469 --> 01:05:23,525 Need to cool off first? 667 01:05:38,035 --> 01:05:41,235 She makes a good point. 668 01:05:50,910 --> 01:05:53,315 Excuse me. 669 01:06:01,451 --> 01:06:03,826 What do you think our odds are, honestly? 670 01:06:04,618 --> 01:06:08,114 If you want to live, what else are you gonna do? 671 01:06:09,618 --> 01:06:12,569 Yeah, well, it's not about me. Not anymore. 672 01:06:24,635 --> 01:06:25,696 Da! 673 01:06:27,070 --> 01:06:30,927 - Did you call the police? - Um, no. They said they'd kill her. 674 01:06:32,077 --> 01:06:34,504 Look I know I should have to call sooner but, uh... 675 01:06:36,034 --> 01:06:40,573 Alright, the truth is, I think I really love your daughter. And right now she's all I care about. 676 01:06:42,035 --> 01:06:44,482 I'm trying to find her, but, um... 677 01:06:46,493 --> 01:06:51,266 Right now the odds kinda suck. So, uh, if you don't hear from me by six o'clock... 678 01:06:51,827 --> 01:07:01,521 um, wire the money. The account number is... 46564327. 679 01:07:06,792 --> 01:07:08,373 - Yeah. - Did you find her? 680 01:07:08,620 --> 01:07:12,466 Not yet, but that chopper's been spotted the other side of the island, I'm headed there now. 681 01:07:12,780 --> 01:07:16,311 Lighthouse called, asked me to wire ransom. He is behind this, as we thought. 682 01:07:16,344 --> 01:07:20,633 - And he'll pay with his life! - She is only child, Brick. 683 01:07:20,660 --> 01:07:23,611 If you don't find Masha by six o'clock... 684 01:07:24,702 --> 01:07:28,317 - I will wire money. - Do what you gotta do. 685 01:07:35,286 --> 01:07:41,606 Chopper never come back, so we're good to go. She's fine, any problems on your end? 686 01:07:41,661 --> 01:07:44,196 Nothing I can't handle. 687 01:07:50,244 --> 01:07:54,901 Um, I'd hate to interrupt your Club Med vacation but I think we should get going. 688 01:07:55,036 --> 01:07:57,524 Do you mind if we try and go save her life? 689 01:07:58,718 --> 01:08:02,272 - Oh! Oh, oh... - Mi amor! 690 01:08:02,273 --> 01:08:04,650 - I think I sprained my ankle. - Come on! 691 01:08:04,651 --> 01:08:08,432 - Guys we have to go! - You're so insensitive. 692 01:08:08,744 --> 01:08:12,708 - You wont leave me, will you? - I'll catch up, cousin. 693 01:08:14,394 --> 01:08:18,601 You know, this is so typical of you! You selfish... 694 01:08:18,828 --> 01:08:20,902 sexist imbecile! 695 01:08:21,036 --> 01:08:27,399 Listen cousin, it wasn't my idea that when a man gets older he becomes more attractive. 696 01:08:27,536 --> 01:08:32,521 - And that it doesn't work that way... for a woman. - I see. Hmm... 697 01:09:56,453 --> 01:09:58,823 Hey! I need to use the bathroom! 698 01:10:01,995 --> 01:10:05,142 Take care of it, and keep your hands off her. 699 01:10:06,245 --> 01:10:08,263 Yeah, fine. 700 01:10:21,412 --> 01:10:23,865 Where is she? 701 01:10:40,912 --> 01:10:42,577 - How's your ankle, by the way? - My what? 702 01:10:42,677 --> 01:10:45,617 - Your ankle. You hurt your ankle. - Oh, yeah! 703 01:10:45,618 --> 01:10:49,862 See if I can find it. Oh, I'm working my way, Oh! I see a foot. 704 01:10:50,245 --> 01:10:52,734 Very nice. 705 01:10:55,820 --> 01:10:57,895 I thought I knew everyone on this island. 706 01:10:59,470 --> 01:11:01,763 - So did I. 707 01:11:02,557 --> 01:11:03,970 You okay? 708 01:11:04,071 --> 01:11:06,835 My cousin just needs to get some sense knocked into him. 709 01:11:19,662 --> 01:11:24,818 Where is your boyfriend? Nod, if he's here in the village. 710 01:11:24,954 --> 01:11:27,194 Where did he go? 711 01:11:27,329 --> 01:11:30,078 In the mountains? 712 01:11:30,996 --> 01:11:36,962 Okay! I'm gonna take my hand away. If you scream, I'm gonna kill you. Do you understand? 713 01:12:01,704 --> 01:12:04,537 Hold still! Hold still, come on. 714 01:12:08,579 --> 01:12:13,237 Holy sh... Come on, we've gotta get her back! 715 01:12:21,538 --> 01:12:23,528 - Who is this? - Brian, it's me. I got away. 716 01:12:23,663 --> 01:12:29,327 - Masha, Masha! Where are you? I'm trying to find you. - There're sheds with a lot of junk and surfboards, I dunno, I ran up the main road. 717 01:12:34,621 --> 01:12:36,695 Idiot! 718 01:12:39,121 --> 01:12:41,242 They're coming, I gotta call you back. 719 01:12:55,163 --> 01:12:58,860 - What happened? - I don't remember. 720 01:12:58,996 --> 01:13:00,987 Wait... 721 01:13:01,121 --> 01:13:06,324 The blood has returned to the head on top. We've got to save that guy's wife! 722 01:14:30,206 --> 01:14:32,280 - Yeah? - Where is she? 723 01:14:32,414 --> 01:14:36,952 - She got away. - She got away! What kind of idiots have I hired? 724 01:14:37,081 --> 01:14:39,699 Wel, , get her back. Now! 725 01:15:05,998 --> 01:15:10,038 Thanks a lot, Brian. That big foreign creep smashed my face. 726 01:15:10,164 --> 01:15:13,545 How am I supposed to get modelling work now? You've ruined my life! 727 01:16:59,332 --> 01:17:01,951 Masha! Masha, Masha, Masha! 728 01:17:02,082 --> 01:17:04,617 We gotta go! We gotta go, Look out! 729 01:17:04,748 --> 01:17:06,289 Go, go, go, go! 730 01:17:19,499 --> 01:17:20,956 Jump! Jump! Jump.. 731 01:17:33,665 --> 01:17:35,455 Come on. Come on. 732 01:17:40,999 --> 01:17:43,238 Have you found them yet? 733 01:17:45,040 --> 01:17:46,912 They're in the valley. 734 01:17:50,291 --> 01:17:53,454 - Look! - Maybe we can use that. 735 01:17:53,582 --> 01:17:55,656 Let's hope it still works. 736 01:17:56,624 --> 01:17:59,705 - Oh my god! - Go, go, go, go... 737 01:18:02,374 --> 01:18:04,329 Paddle! Paddle, paddle. 738 01:18:09,582 --> 01:18:11,407 Go, go, go! 739 01:18:12,457 --> 01:18:14,041 Get down! Get down, get down! 740 01:18:14,380 --> 01:18:17,723 Go, go, go, paddle, paddle, paddle! 741 01:18:18,874 --> 01:18:21,197 Do your phone! Try your phone! 742 01:18:31,916 --> 01:18:34,700 - Da!, Dadda it's Masha. - Masha you okay? 743 01:18:34,916 --> 01:18:37,155 She escape. 744 01:18:37,583 --> 01:18:39,952 Masha, who is behind this? Who kidnapped you? 745 01:18:40,166 --> 01:18:41,659 It was... 746 01:18:43,958 --> 01:18:46,576 - Go, go, go! - I dropped the phone! 747 01:18:46,708 --> 01:18:48,449 Hello, hello, Masha? 748 01:18:55,999 --> 01:18:58,204 No more mistakes! 749 01:19:06,291 --> 01:19:10,332 My dad took me on a canoe trip once. There was slightly less shooting involved. 750 01:19:13,916 --> 01:19:16,618 What really happened to your father? 751 01:19:19,500 --> 01:19:22,533 He was in Antartica... 752 01:19:22,666 --> 01:19:25,155 and got attacked by... 753 01:19:26,833 --> 01:19:30,697 penguins. They are not as cute as everybody thinks. 754 01:19:30,833 --> 01:19:36,332 You know how hard it was for me to put on a tuxedo, at our wedding? 755 01:19:36,458 --> 01:19:41,281 The second I looked into the mirror, all I could think about was him fighting them off. 756 01:19:49,708 --> 01:19:52,113 - You... - Okay! Okay! He's alive! 757 01:19:52,250 --> 01:19:55,367 But he left us a long time ago. I don't know him. 758 01:19:55,500 --> 01:19:59,215 But my Mom is crazy. I mean, she's, y' know, under house arrest, and the whole... 759 01:19:59,216 --> 01:20:00,422 Wait a minute. 760 01:20:01,750 --> 01:20:04,012 - What? - Do you hear that? 761 01:20:06,583 --> 01:20:08,291 What are they saying? 762 01:20:09,458 --> 01:20:12,347 I don't know, I think they want us to paddle over. 763 01:20:12,750 --> 01:20:15,781 I can't believe a place like this still exists. 764 01:20:25,958 --> 01:20:30,663 - Do you have any idea what he's saying? - Not really. But he seems friendly, maybe he can help us. 765 01:20:35,217 --> 01:20:38,498 - Um, bad guys. Grr! Need help. - Do you have a phone? 766 01:20:38,709 --> 01:20:44,658 A phone, yeah! Do you have a phone? Like an iPhone or a Blackberry? Like a... 767 01:20:47,929 --> 01:20:49,491 Yeah, okay... 768 01:20:50,299 --> 01:20:51,530 Oh god, I hope they don't eat us. 769 01:21:56,001 --> 01:21:58,075 May I? 770 01:22:14,126 --> 01:22:19,328 - You look amazing. - You clean up well yourself. 771 01:22:21,626 --> 01:22:27,374 Dancing under the moonlight in a jungle village. It's pretty much your ideal honeymoon right? 772 01:22:29,043 --> 01:22:32,124 Is it yours? 773 01:22:32,251 --> 01:22:35,036 Will you marry me? 774 01:22:36,543 --> 01:22:40,288 I'm sorry, but I'm already married. 775 01:23:30,627 --> 01:23:35,284 It was the third one I was most proud of. Yeah, I didn't cry that time. 776 01:23:44,293 --> 01:23:46,284 Let's go. 777 01:23:53,168 --> 01:23:55,835 - Isn't this amazing? - Yeah. 778 01:23:55,960 --> 01:23:59,575 If only we would have some jungle cappuccino. 779 01:24:04,502 --> 01:24:10,534 Oh no, no, I was kidding. No Coffee... 780 01:24:20,919 --> 01:24:22,826 So good! 781 01:24:28,710 --> 01:24:31,281 You two gotta get the hell outta here! 782 01:24:31,419 --> 01:24:35,049 - Wait a second, you speak English? - I used to work Wall Street. Long story. 783 01:24:53,877 --> 01:24:55,197 - Grab that leaf! - Got it. 784 01:24:55,198 --> 01:24:56,493 Alright, get on! 785 01:24:57,056 --> 01:24:59,160 Alright! Go, go, go! 786 01:25:11,029 --> 01:25:12,190 Move! 787 01:25:52,003 --> 01:25:55,499 - Move away from her! - No! No, no, he's gonna kill you! 788 01:25:55,628 --> 01:25:59,124 - Move, if you want her to live! - Okay, Okay! 789 01:26:08,753 --> 01:26:13,494 - You okay, Masha? - Don't try and pretend you just saved me, you hired him. 790 01:26:13,628 --> 01:26:16,199 What? I would never. 791 01:26:16,336 --> 01:26:18,825 I thought you loved me. I do. 792 01:26:18,961 --> 01:26:22,457 Then at least show some respect and be honest. 793 01:26:25,461 --> 01:26:28,163 Did they treat you well? 794 01:26:28,295 --> 01:26:31,743 - Why would you do this? - Because I'm ambitious. 795 01:26:31,878 --> 01:26:36,746 - Like your father. I thought that's what women like in a man? - So you use his own daughter to steal from him? 796 01:26:36,803 --> 01:26:38,696 - I did it for us. - There is no us. 797 01:26:38,697 --> 01:26:40,721 We're getting married Masha, it's all been decided. 798 01:26:40,736 --> 01:26:43,439 I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on this planet. 799 01:26:43,470 --> 01:26:47,872 You're sick, violent and delusional. I never loved you, and I never will. 800 01:26:47,912 --> 01:26:51,158 Okay, I don't think honesty is the best policy right now. 801 01:26:55,922 --> 01:26:57,435 What about this then? 802 01:26:58,722 --> 01:27:03,294 Your new husband. He's the kidnapper, not me. And I shot him... 803 01:27:03,295 --> 01:27:05,650 but not before I could stop him throwing you over the edge of the cliff! 804 01:27:05,651 --> 01:27:08,121 Such a tragic ending! 805 01:27:14,712 --> 01:27:16,951 There they are! 806 01:27:50,879 --> 01:27:53,581 The honeymoon is officially over! 807 01:28:03,004 --> 01:28:04,461 No! 808 01:28:04,587 --> 01:28:06,743 Oh my god! 809 01:28:27,754 --> 01:28:30,077 Oh! Brian! 810 01:29:00,629 --> 01:29:04,208 Senor, please allow me. Senorita, por favor. 811 01:29:06,046 --> 01:29:08,830 There he is, get him! 812 01:29:09,755 --> 01:29:12,298 - What is this? - Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys... 813 01:29:12,299 --> 01:29:16,198 Let him go, he did not do anything! Let go of me! 814 01:29:17,046 --> 01:29:22,515 I'm okay, Mom, I'm okay. Dadda, stop this! He didn't do anything! 815 01:29:28,912 --> 01:29:30,448 Hey! 816 01:29:31,338 --> 01:29:35,414 You saved my daughter. You save me 10 million US dollars. 817 01:29:35,546 --> 01:29:38,448 And you expose Brickland as traitor. 818 01:29:38,480 --> 01:29:44,138 Does that sound like a good reason to shoot you in the head? I don't think so. 819 01:29:51,630 --> 01:29:55,623 My wife say you have our blessing to stay married. 820 01:29:55,755 --> 01:29:58,208 Here! Wedding gift! 821 01:29:58,338 --> 01:30:01,087 Take! 9 mm semi-automatic. 822 01:30:01,213 --> 01:30:04,294 Low recoil, double-action. 823 01:30:04,421 --> 01:30:06,720 Welcome to family! 824 01:30:18,380 --> 01:30:20,703 Here. 825 01:30:20,838 --> 01:30:23,505 Masha, I love you so much. 826 01:30:24,547 --> 01:30:27,663 But I can't be married into this family. 827 01:30:47,213 --> 01:30:50,579 No! Let him go. 828 01:31:16,380 --> 01:31:20,504 Come on darlin', ham it up. "Ham." Get it? 829 01:31:27,505 --> 01:31:31,546 - What Mom? - Just because I'm under house arrest doesn't mean you have to be. 830 01:31:31,672 --> 01:31:34,494 - Oh, come on, Mom. - You really need to get out. 831 01:31:34,520 --> 01:31:35,987 Please just don't start. 832 01:31:36,089 --> 01:31:37,438 How are you feeling? 833 01:31:37,464 --> 01:31:39,775 - Uh, never better. - You're miserable. 834 01:31:39,881 --> 01:31:44,538 Pull your head out of your rear end and do something about this. It's not that complicated. 835 01:31:44,672 --> 01:31:46,829 That's all I'm gonna say. 836 01:31:54,797 --> 01:31:57,203 You up for a double dip? 837 01:32:04,214 --> 01:32:07,580 - Something wrong? - It's compli... 838 01:32:09,839 --> 01:32:12,837 No. It's not. 839 01:33:46,507 --> 01:33:51,081 - Still need your green card? - What about my family? 840 01:33:51,215 --> 01:33:53,103 Wait till you meet mine. 841 01:34:20,840 --> 01:34:23,589 - I love you. - I love you. 842 01:35:09,049 --> 01:35:12,877 Do you like that? Do you like this? Have you done this one before? 843 01:35:13,007 --> 01:35:17,795 - Talk to me. What kind of photographer are you? - It's professional camera. I buy camera for. 844 01:35:17,924 --> 01:35:22,131 It's flash. Touch button? See? Fully professional.