[shouting, cheering]
♪ Who the party? We the party ♪
♪ Get it, get it, get it ♪
♪ Party ♪
♪ Ain't who you know, it's who you are ♪
♪ 'Cause you the party ♪
♪ We the party, we the people ♪
♪ We the party ♪
♪ It ain't what you drive, you on your side ♪
♪ You the party ♪
♪ We the party we the pa-pa-pa-pa-party ♪
♪ When it comes to parties ♪
♪ I swear they call me the party pro ♪
♪ Got the grind, we the party ♪
♪ We the people ♪
♪ So grab a girl, grab a cup, put your hands up ♪
♪ Dim the lights ♪
[alarm buzzing] What did I tell you would happen
if you woke up late again?
- What? - Ah, hell, no.
- [laughing] - Wake up!
What did I tell you? What did I tell you would happen?
This is the third time!
You make us late and I'm gonna be all up on your ass.
- Okay, Dad, I'm sorry! - No, no, no. "I'm sorry" don't cut it.
Don't wrinkle my tie, boy.
Take your tickle like a man.
You get up, get up. Get downstairs.
- Okay, okay. I'm going. - Downstairs.
Come on, chop-chop.
Man...
Ouch.
Oh, man.
♪ Stella and J. Wise ♪
♪ Throw me a ladder to reach heaven ♪
♪ Running on air won't get me nowhere ♪
♪ Throw me a ladder going through hell ♪
Remember this, guys. Minimum effort now means...
- ALL: Minimum wage later. - That's right.
How come Hill doesn't have to eat any of this?
Because Hill woke his ass up for breakfast this morning.
HENDRIX, Narrating: My brother's a senior.
He has it all.
Fine-ass girlfriend, already accepted to a good college.
He's cool, and, yeah, bitch got a car.
Here, this bite of organic nastiness has your name all over it.
Listen, seriously, you've got to focus.
You're smart. But academically, you're being lazy.
If you're lazy, man, you might as well be stupid.
That's like being 7'4",
and you can't play basketball for shit.
HENDRIX, Narrating: People say I look like my dad.
That's scary.
I sure hope I don't end up with that double-chin shit he got.
I mean, there's got to be a neck exercise or something
you could do for that.
You know what I'm saying?
What are you doing, man? Are you listening to me?
How come Mom gives Hill her car, he wrecks it,
and you won't give me jack?
I didn't wreck the car. It's in the shop for a tune-up.
And I got it from Mom, hater.
Yeah, you bought it for 100 bucks.
Everybody knows that's not fair.
So what? I'm the eldest, bro.
Look, I can't speak for Mom, son.
But I can tell you this. Brother Malcolm said,
Do for self.
And Brother Malcolm also said,
By any means necessary.
Which means you should get me a car because it's necessary.
Oh, right. Well, I'm trying to pay for college.
If I can pay for a good college, you can have a good education.
With a good education, you can buy the biggest, stupidest, flyest car you want.
Got that good word, buddy.
Come on and get yours, my man.
Come on, here it is.
Obama T-shirts.
These are handmade special. One for 12, two for 20.
Gotta get your mama an Obama!
HENDRIX, Narrating: All right, let me break it down for you.
Baldwin Hills High is like three schools in one.
The regular high, the performing arts, and the magnet program.
Which basically means we have all the racial flavors
and all different types of black folks
from the ghetto-hood rap boys saggin'
to the hard-working blue-collar blacks of South Crenshaw.
The long weekend's coming up,
which means I can finally make some car money,
'cause Saturday night, we the party.
♪ We the party ♪
- That's fucked up. - Whatever, dawg.
- Hey, man. - Yo.
[singing]
- What up, bitch? - Shit, man.
- This is hot, man. - I know. How many flyers you hand out, bro?
All of them and the e-mail blast.
This shit's going to be turked.
HENDRIX, Narrating: See, Chowder, he's one of them rich Negroes from the hills.
Me and Que go way back to the Venice Beach skateboard days,
before his dad died of cancer.
Quicktime, he's new to our group.
He's always down for whatever.
This is Obama. The dickhead pushing him down, now that's Reggie.
Obama had whupped Reggie in a big schoolwide debate
over who should get the flyest trophies:
the basketball team or the debate team.
Obama beat Reggie like he was John McCain.
That's how he ended up with the name Obama.
Of course, that didn't stop Reggie from kicking his ass on a daily basis.
Beg forgiveness, and eventually, he'll stop kicking your wimp ass.
He didn't kick my ass, okay?
Look, he's just humiliating me publicly.
That's right. You were like this.
Do any of you alpha-douches even have dates to the prom?
Uh, no.
All right, then.
Hey, at least I know I'll get laid way before frickin' Pizza Face and Nano-man.
Quicktime, you'd need a ladder to reach the panties.
Man, pussy don't have no height requirement.
It's the same shit when you're laying down, dude.
Yeah!
Okay, you know what? Let's make a wager here, gentlemen.
The first one of us to lose his virginity wins.
- Wins what? - I'm glad you asked.
The ultimate gift:
the praise, the admiration of your fellow peers.
- Nah. - And, if we each chip in $20,
a $100 gift certificate to wherever the fuck you want to go.
Before when, homo?
You must lose your virginity before or on prom night.
Wait, what if none of us gets laid?
You've been smoking too much. No money changes hands, dude.
I'm gonna be the treasurer because I don't need to steal anything.
- So come on. - You got it.
20,20,and”.
Come on, you cheap-ass nigga.
He knows I'm gonna win, man.
' You'? - .
Lookie here.
I got a five, a five, and a one.
That's 11, I'll hit you with 9 later. We straight?
Bomb! Yeah!
Oh, guys, guys, here comes Ro-brocop.
QUE: Ultraman scans the yard, searching for deviants
and concealing a scorching case of jock itch.
QUICKTIME: Guys, guys. They wore skirts.
There is a God.
Aw, damn.
So I'll see you home at 1600.
- Yes, sir. - I trust you'll be walking her home?
Yes, sir.
Okay, then. Have a good day.
Bye, Daddy.
Bye. you guys.
Those shorties so fine, I want to lick them like a lollipop.
Mm, Schwarz-negro got some tight-ass glutes.
What's wrong with you, Michelle?
- What? - That's nasty.
- That's my dad. - I'll call him Daddy.
Oh, my God, I can't take it.
Doesn't Cheyenne's dad look like a stripper cop?
Girl, he can turn me over and have a choice.
[sighs] Okay, let's change the subject, 'cause it's really gross.
Reality is, you're short, you've got acne,
- and you're fat. - QUE: Hey, fuck you.
All right, look, we're all 5s, and they're 10s.
HENDRIX, Narrating: Cheyenne is a vegan goddess.
I mean, perfection.
Her eyes, her scent, even her voice.
I mean, the lady can sing.
Oh, and oh yeah, that's me.
Checking her out, as usual.
We're juniors, they're seniors, bro.
Like, with high self-esteem.
QUICKTIME: Michelle's for sure going to the prom with Reggie
and Cheyenne, well, she's a straight-A student
and her uber-cop dad won't let her mess with anybody
that's below a B+ average.
That's a 3.5 GPA, son.
The last guy that asked Cheyenne out had some old traffic tickets.
Supercop ran an APB on his ass and arrested him personally.
- No way. - Damn.
HENDRIX, Narrating: That's when it hit me.
In just a few months, she would fly East to some fancy-ass college.
Probably meet some Ivy League douchebag and I'd never get to see her again.
[cell phone vibrating]
What are you texting me for?
Just letting you know I'm having a party tonight
at Chowder's crib.
I put you on the guest list, so you don't have to pay.
And I was wondering if Cheyenne had a date to the prom.
How old are you?
I'll be 17 in, like, four months.
HENDRIX, Narrating: Calvin will test you with his gay shit.
She'll be in heels.
HENDRIX, Narrating: That's why I peeled him away from the crowd.
Well, I suppose you're kinda cute in a boyish way.
After class, she'll walk to her locker to get her gym clothes.
Michelle won't be there.
You'll have about five minutes alone.
And?
And good luck.
You're late, Mr. Sutton.
Sorry, sir.
Sorry won't make you on time. Please see me after class.
Mr. Anderson?
C.C.
HENDRIX, Narrating: C.C.'s straight-up scary.
I ain't even gonna lie.
A wannabe rapper, 'cept no one ever hears him rap.
Calls himself the Conscious Criminal.
At least he got the criminal part right.
His big brother, he's doing time in the joint
while C.C. does time in high school.
Rumor is, he stayed back twice already.
No headphones in during class.
You want to graduate this time, you've got to participate, young brother.
Okay, go to the principal's office.
So, class, back in the day,
how did you show your tribe
that you were ready, that you're worthy now,
that you're an adult, and you're successful?
Yes, Jackie?
Didn't one tribe have you go out and get an eagle feather?
They did. So, what's your eagle's feather today?
How do you show your peers, your homies, that you're making it?
Huh? How do you get recognition?
Yes, Paco?
Having lots of money, like, being a billionaire, ese.
- [laughing] - Being a billionaire. That'll do it.
Being a sexy-chick movie star celebrity
so you can be sexy enough to drive folks crazy.
Or you could have a big fly house in a nice rich neighborhood like me.
How about having a fly car,
like a Bentley with some bad-ass rims?
- Being the hottest M.C. - Or being famous, like the president.
That'll also get you recognized.
You on this president hitch, man.
Owning Facebook.
You know what else? Being fitted with the right gear,
having major swag.
DR. SUTTON: All right, okay. Check this out.
So back in the days
when people lived in harmony with nature,
the tribe elders made sure that whatever you needed to be a success,
to be recognized, 90% of the young people could do it.
But today, most of you will never be billionaires
or drive a Bentley or be a big, sexy movie star
or be president.
Now, some of you will, and more power to you.
But the majority of you will never, ever feel recognized by your tribe.
You'll never get your eagle's feather.
That's messed up, man.
Yeah, well, check this out:
It is also a big part of what?
Can anyone guess?
The economy.
Why?
If 90% of you feel insecure and inadequate,
you're going to buy our products.
We make you feel that you'll be recognized more
if you buy this big fly house in Beverly Hills,
or Baldwin Hills or View Park.
If that doesn't work, I'll sell you a car you can't really afford,
a nice one with beautiful rims.
But will that new fly car really, really really satisfy you?
- Yep. - Yeah?
For how long?
Five years? Ten years?
'Cause then I'll flip it up a little bit.
You know what I'll do? I'll change the style,
or put some new rims on it,
and before you know it, in 10 years you car looks old.
And then you've got to come back to me for some new swag.
You're hooked, because I supply your status.
Because you know what we did?
We elders put the emphasis not on who you are
but on what you drive.
In fact, I'll have you young people singing my ads for my products
- for free. - What?
Singing your ads for free how?
Easy. You turn on the radio. You all do it all the time.
Gucci man, Beemer, Benz and Bentley.
Got my Vans on. Look at all the gold I got.
Insecure people buy a lot of stuff they don't need
'cause we want to impress our friends.
So what about secure people?
Could you get someone like Mahatma Gandhi
to buy a new Cadillac?
CLASS: No.
- Why not? - Because he wouldn't want it.
He wouldn't want it.
But we still respected him. Why?
Yes, Michelle.
Because he freed India from British colonialism.
Correct. Could you have gotten Mother Teresa to buy some breast implants?
CLASS: No.
We liked her, because she helped people and whatnot.
That's why we liked her, because she helped people and whatnot.
Not because she looked sexy.
What about Dr. King or Brother Malcolm?
Did they have lots of money and run up credit card debt?
CLASS: No.
Okay, let's take it to the top.
Let's go to Jesus Christ.
Would Jesus Christ buy a pair of Gucci shoes?
CLASS: No!
- I can't hear you. Would he? - No!
So, real secure people, they don't need all that.
What am I saying? You're nodding your head.
What am I saying?
You're saying that true success isn't about what you buy or drive
or what your body looks like.
DR. SUTTON: Right. What I'm saying is
if you want to go out in the world and do something big--
teach a child to read,
invent a clean energy source,
sacrifice for others.
You might not be able to buy your success,
or your recognition, or drive it.
You might have to do something, you understand?
How about getting all of us elders to stop killing each other
and destroying the planet that you're going to inherit?
QUE: Go ahead and preach it, Dr. Sutton.
I'm preaching away. Okay, you're right. you're right.
Okay, end of the year.
That means, seniors, you'll have your senior project.
The juniors can assist you but they can only act
in a support capacity.
Eduardo, you're doing the tech board?
Okay, and Calvin, you're doing movement choreography?
Yes, sir.
And Cheyenne, you are doing visual thematics?
- Yeah. - Have you thought of a theme yet?
Yes, I thought we would do successes and failures.
We would interview people and see if they felt
like they had done what they wanted with their lives.
Tell you what, if you're gonna do that,
go outside your comfort zone.
Don't just talk to your mom and Michelle and a couple of your friends.
I want you to talk to rich folks, folks that live in cardboard condos,
Republicans, Democrats. All of us.
That's kind of a big list.
It's a big subject.
All right, get cracking.
You're directing and shooting, so who's doing your interviews?
Reggie Otum will.
Good luck.
Thank you, class.
Your pops is heavy, dude.
Hold on, teenage people.
Your class president has a word for you.
The grades will be posted on the boards today.
All seniors with a 3.5 GPA or higher
can tutor lowerclassmen on the mandatory tutoring extra credit list.
The retard list.
Secondly, if you haven't bought your tickets for prom yet,
please hurry up.
Calvin.
This year's prom theme is Green Glamour.
And as you know, green is all about recycling
and re-fabulating.
So I want you to be creative,
and get some of your parents' old fantabulous, old-school glamour
- and rework it. - [snaps]
And if you don't buy a ticket for prom, you can't vote for prom queen.
We all know who that should be.
Dude, she's like the black Sarah Palin, you know?
- I know, man. - Yeah.
Yo, you got the tape, right?
You know it. Invisible.
- All right, let's roll. - This is geniosity, bro.
- DR. SUTTON: Hendrix. - Ooh!
- Thought he was slick. - Go hang out with Pops.
- Sorry, man. - Need you to stay after class, remember?
Yeah, um, there's only 10 minutes till the next class,
and I need to get my books.
And I need to use the restroom.
That's nice. That's real nice.
Sit down.
[girls singing]
♪ By your side ♪
- What we got here? - Bet you're right on it.
Number one on the mandatory tutor retardo-list.
- C.c. - Oh!
Who gonna tutor the drive-by shooter?
Pop! pop! pop! pop'
QUICKTIME: Dude, do not drop my phone.
RICH GUY: Okay, okay, okay, it's good. It's good.
All right, all right.
- Don't fuck with it. - I'm trying to help out.
Guys, I'm having second thoughts.
Why do I have to go first, man?
Look, dude, it's a scientific fact.
White kids are less likely to get caught doing shit than black kids.
- Dude, that's bullshit. - It's true, all right?
Captain, we have got a visual image.
All right, get ready.
Take us home, Scotty.
- Okay. All right. - Go get out there.
[overlapping dialogue]
See it through.
Join up to make your dreams come true.
Some girls have all the luck, huh?
He just asked her to prom.
[crowd laughing]
OBAMA: Que goes for the big-ass ghetto booty every time.
Oh, my God, she got a lace G-string, dawg.
Dawg, it totally worked. You can see the bush.
It's like right there.
That's definitely not a bush. That's a shadow.
That is more bush than George W. himself.
You need to enjoy this, dude.
Enjoy it.
Well, Stunner asked Cheyenne to the prom.
She's way out of your social domain, bro.
What did you expect to happen?
- Shauniqua Vaquiso! - Oh!
Fuck you, Reggie.
You little conceited-ass bitch.
Everybody knows Shauniqua and her mama
look like Monique in Precious.
[laughing]
You think you're smart?
You want that higher learning?
Well, you ain't shit.
You ain't gonna never be shit.
Fuck you.
Why you all up on me, Que?
You got some funny shit to say, too?
Actually, no.
Um, I just wanted to say I've been on the retard list twice.
It can actually be a positive experience.
You know, someone will tutor you.
And you'll bond with them.
Like Nietzsche says,
That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Hey, get the fuck out of my way.
Fuck.
Guys, did you see that?
- You almost got killed out there. - Shit.
She got a body like Serena Williams.
Maybe, but Serena ain't ghetto.
I don't care. The twins are the finest women on campus.
And Shauniqua's into me, dude.
- I know. - You crazy, nigga.
Michelle's coming out there. Get back out there, please.
QUE: No, no dude. I just almost got killed.
- No, dude. - Please.
- No, dude. You got to do it. - You know Reggie won't let me near Michelle.
You know what? Mopey, it's your turn to go.
I'm not in this at all.
Oh, my gosh. You're scared,
Mini-Me ain't doing shit, and you're heartbroken.
You know, give me that shoe.
I'm gonna film this kitty like the goddamn Discovery Channel.
Go for it. [scatting]
[ululating]
Hey, Paco, you know they can deport you if you don't maintain that B average, ese.
[Speaking Spanish]
[overlapping dialogue]
QUE: Dude, holy shit.
OBAMA: What girl wears leopard print panties
with pink lace trim on the side
if she does not want anyone to admire them?
QUICKTIME: Guys know what a leopard is?
- What? - It's a 200-pound pussy
that'll eat a man up.
[laughing]
Dumbshit #10, our very own...
Hendrix Sutton. Get your ass down here, boy.
Go.
REGGIE: Hey, man, shut up, boy.
[chattering]
["Bomb dropping"]
Looks like Papa Bear's failing Baby Bear
and killing his GPA.
Reggie, stop.
- Aw. - Hey, don't cry, please.
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.
Now, you can't look people in the eyes, they ain't gonna trust you.
And they sure as hell won't hire you.
Are you afraid to look me in the eyes, C.C.?
You okay?
Yeah.
My big bro in town,
so could I go now?
Go ahead.
I can't believe you put me on the retard list.
The tutoring list is voluntary and mandatory.
I volunteered you.
Nobody volunteers to be on that list.
Do you even know how you made me look?
Yeah, like a kid who wants to get his grades up.
I tried to tell you earlier, but you was in too much of a rush.
In all my other classes, I have at least a
And you settle for a
When Mom told me you were going to work here,
she said I didn't even need to take your class.
I took it out of respect for you,
because it would make you happy.
And it does, son. Now, make me happy,
and get an Okay, you can do it.
It's time to tutor. Finals are coming--
I don't have time to tutor, Dad.
I need to get enough money to pay for a car and pay--
Don't interrupt me.
Now, let me clarify something for you.
You don't get your grades up, there's no more party business.
There's no going out, and there's no car.
- What if I move back in with Mom? - No.
No more ping-ponging back and forth
between me and Mom to see who you get a better deal from.
You're with me until you graduate.
- Anything else? - No.
You still need me to get your D.J. equipment over to Chowder's?
No.
All right, I'll see you after the party.
[door slams]
[drums play]
CALVIN: Boom, boom, boom. Bring that energy. Bring that energy.
Yes, yes.
That's right, girls. Hit it.
Huh.
[chuckles]
Looks like your senior class project's gonna be the bomb.
I hope so.
Point those toes, girls.
DR. SUTTON: Hey, Megan, I like that little extra
"I got it going on" attitude you're doing, girl.
Thanks, Dr. Sutton.
CALVIN: Keep that energy up.
Let's take a walk.
Five, six, seven, eight.
If they ain't offering no full scholarship, I'm not interested.
Okay, all right. All right, bye.
- Hey. - What up?
It's the list of locations for the shoot.
Read it to me.
Sunday morning, 9 A.M.
At the 14th Street Mission near the Bowery.
Skid Row?
What, I'm interviewing bums?
Homeless people.
Sponsors ain't gonna want their new star interviewing no homeless people.
BOY: You ain't got no sponsors, dawg.
Okay, but I will. Watch.
- Reggie... - What?
- Please. - BOY: Yo, Reggie,
I'll trade you this PB&J and these chips for one of your healthy-ass sandwiches.
Hey, why you trying to play me?
You know I'm allergic to that nasty shit.
You can't cancel on me now.
Okay, look, if I'm going to be on TV, and interviewing people,
I gotta be like them cats on ESPN.
I know you seen it. They got the nice suit.
The A.C. studio, our own little coffee mug.
That's top notch. I want that.
And plus, I got practice on Sunday, so I'm sorry.
So am I.
Hey. You know we ain't got no practice, right?
Dawg, I know that, but you like her,
so I was trying to stay cool with her till I drop Michelle, all right?
Dr. Sutton?
[sniffles]
Oh. I thought you were your dad.
That's kinda scary.
Um, I think he said he'll be back soon. Just give him a couple minutes more.
[Sighs]
You can wait here. It's cool with me.
[Cheyenne sniffs, sighs]
REGGIE: Hendrix Sutton, get your ass down here, boy.
- Shut up, Reggie. - Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
[romantic music]
CHEYENNE: Hard, huh?
[record scratch]
Your day was kind of hard?
Are you okay?
Yeah.
No, I'm not.
Reggie's such an asshole.
He bailed on me. This is the one class that could ruin my GPA,
and if your dad doesn't give me a break, I'm screwed.
[crying]
[cellphone rings]
Hi, Daddy.
DAD: You home?
No, I'll be there soon.
You Okay?
Yeah, everything's fine.
Michelle's still going to walk you, right?
Yeah, she is. Okay, bye.
- Michelle, where are you? - At the mall.
With Reggie? Did he tell you?
What? Oh, my God. I totally forgot.
I'm so sorry.
But my dad is expecting us to walk home together.
You know how he is.
REGGIE: Cheyenne, she'll have to call you back.
- Michelle? - REGGIE: Bye.
Oh, sorry for the drama. I gotta go.
HENDRIX, voiceover: No!
No.
No?
You shouldn't walk home alone.
Um, I should walk you.
It's okay. You're waiting for your dad.
Um, he's being a jerk.
I mean, he's being a jerk to you and to me.
I'll see him later.
Come on, can we go before he drops my grade lower?
Like a "D" or something? Come on, please?
WOMAN: Manny, A.J., please.
[Speaking Spanish]
My grandsons. They're only going to be here for a couple hours.
It's okay.
What's up, D?
What's all this?
Oh, recycled art for the prom.
[knocking]
I need to make the deposit.
Oh, sorry.
The bank closes soon.
Here you go, hon.
Okay, $942, prom ticket sales.
- Okay. - I'll see you in the morning.
All right, thank you.
[clattering, children shouting]
Don't let them drive you crazy.
[chuckling]
Now, what's going on?
I think that you are being too hard on our son.
Is this about the tutoring list?
He's never been good at testing.
You refuse to acknowledge that he was diagnosed as ADD.
I refuse to use it as a crutch.
Your ego is clouding your judgment.
He tells me things that he won't tell you.
Well, of course he does.
When kids are lucky enough
to have both their parents in their lives, that's what they do.
They try to get their bread buttered on both sides.
Remember when stuff used to disappear from your purse?
Nah, come on. Remember when he was stealing shit
until you started paying him not to?
Because you wouldn't give him an allowance.
He was 11 years old.
Of course I wanted to give him an allowance.
I wanted him to work for it.
I want him to have a sense of work ethic.
My point is, we got through it, didn't we?
Yes, by beating him.
I love our sons.
I would never spank him unless I had an open hand.
And only as a last resort.
And Hendrix would get the worst of it.
He's a hard-headed kid.
That's the boy we got. We got us a two-slap son.
Your tough love experiment
is going to ruin his ability to get into a good college
and erode his self-confidence.
He is not you.
HENDRIX: So, you going to prom?
CHEYENNE: I don't know.
What do you mean? Didn't Stunner ask you?
[chuckles]
I didn't answer him yet.
Okay, well, am I being too nosy or something?
Yeah, you're being nosy.
Even if I wanted to go to the prom with Stunner,
I don't think my dad would approve.
Hm.
And you always do what your dad says?
Pretty much.
Until I escape to college.
If I escape.
My academic scholarship is based on a high GPA.
Oh, so if you get, like, a low grade...
I get less scholarship.
And my dad will say, "it's cheaper to go to school locally, Cheyenne."
I thought you wanted to be a singer.
I mean, everybody wants to be a singer.
I just figure, if I go to school,
get my degree--in business,
maybe one day I can own the label I sing on.
Maybe I could do the interviews for your project.
You?
Yeah, me. I got mad people skills. I can talk to black people, white people.
Latinos, I speak Spanish.
The other day, I was at this expo, and I was talking to this green dude.
Not green, but, like, you know, eco-friendly.
Here, he'll be at my party tonight.
In the hills. Rich people.
I mean, even your dad would let you go.
So you're a businessman, huh?
So what's the deal?
What would you want from me?
I do your interviews for you,
and, you know, you come to prom with me.
See? Now you're too much.
Is that a no?
If Supercop doesn't approve of Stunner,
do you think he'll be okay with you?
- Maybe you could tutor me. - What?
Ah, come on, little mama.
Look at this face.
Want me to end up like another black statistic?
Boy drops out of schoolhouse, welcome to the jailhouse,
life of crime, tattoos, illegitimate chilluns running around?
As fine as you are, probably only have to tutor me
like once or twice and I'll get "A"s.,
Hey, I feel my I.Q. going up already.
So, I tutor you,
your grades go up,
my dad approves and we go to the prom?
You're not expecting anything else?
Nope.
What if your grades don't go up enough?
Oh, well, then it's my bad.
You still get your movie done,
and the extra credit points for tutoring me.
It's like a win-win.
Well, there's my house.
Thanks for walking me home.
Hendrix Sutton.
What do you think?
I think I'll tell you tomorrow night.
At your party-
With the green dude.
♪ Shake it, shake it ♪
♪ Shake, shake it, shake it ♪
♪ Shake, shake it, oh my God ♪
♪ Shake it, shake it ♪
♪ Shake, shake it, shake it ♪
♪ Shake it, oh, my God ♪
♪ Oh, my God oh, my God ♪
♪ Oh, oh my God oh, oh my God ♪
- Oh, my God. - Oh, shit.
♪ Oh, my God show me what you got ♪
[music continues]
Oh, shit.
BOTH: Drop it, drop it, drop it.
[shouting]
Oh, shit.
♪ Just the way you drop it low, mama, oh, that's hot ♪
♪ Oh, oh, that's hot ♪
Oh, shit.
♪ If you in the club, say oh, my God, oh, my God ♪
Megan, what are you doing?
You know you cannot dance like that
because you do not know what these fools are thinking.
Leave me alone,
or I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad we didn't really go to the movies.
♪ Shake it, shake it ♪
♪ Shake, shake it, shake it ♪
♪ Shake, shake it, oh, my God ♪
♪ Oh, my God oh, my God, oh, my God ♪
Did you even read the invitation?
It says featuring D.J. Slim.
Now, is your name D.J. motherfucking Slim?
He still ain't answering his text, y'all.
But I got you. Don't motherfucking sweat it.
But I am sweating it.
Yo, please stay on the cardboard, man.
I'm not gonna have my mom whup my ass.
Hey, nice party.
Yeah.
Where can I put my purse?
I don't know, put it in my room.
Down the spiral stairs to the left.
Oh. Um, I brought you a little thank-you gift.
It's really nothing...
♪ ...on the dance floor ♪
♪ 'Cause she dancing all night like a go-go ♪
[chattering]
Hey, yo, boy, when is that record label dude showing up?
- Hendrix? - Yeah?
Hendrix, this party better be popping,
I had to beg Supercop to let her out.
So how's it going, Mr. Businessman?
Making any more deals?
Yeah, I told you. I need "A"s, not "B"s.
All right, take over for me, bro.
Y'all come on in. See you inside.
- Hey, Michelle. - Hi.
- What's up, little bro? - Hey, what's up?
- How you doin', man? - Good.
You know I had to come, show you some love.
Can you guys do me a favor and perform?
- We could use y'all. - Yeah, I got ya.
You may get a little taste,
but you know you got to pay first.
- Let us in, brother. - Yeah, we're in.
Um, bro.
- Come on, man. - You ain't part of the duo.
You tripping, man.
♪ Come on, girl, why don't you come get some ♪
♪ Super clean, like a '65 Chevy, Chevy ♪
♪ Body banging like a track star, track star ♪
Whoa, we got problems. C.C.'s downstairs at the front door.
Fuck, man, how'd he get an invitation?
How the hell am I supposed to know?
But that nigga always startin' a fight.
Plus his big brother, the one that was in jail is with him, too.
And these two big crazy-looking motherfuckers, man.
- Shit. - You better handle this.
I got it.
♪ Girl, just listen ♪
♪ Ain't nothing wrong with some meat in your system ♪
♪ You ain't had the hook but to me you're just fishing ♪
♪ I ain't never gonna stop ♪
I mean, I don't see you guys on the list, right?
It's not my party, you know?
I'm just like the bouncer.
He got a student I.D.
We got a problem here?
Yeah, he deserves a chance at that prize money
like everybody else in there.
Where he go, we go.
We're his new management team.
It's contractual.
Yeah, C.C., he's cool. Come on.
Like I said, where he go, we go.
They're all my guests.
C.C., go get your brother.
Yeah, hurry up.
♪ Okay, take a look at my swagger ♪
♪ So on point, feeling sharp as a dagger ♪
♪ When he come, fresh look, homie on the bench ♪
We in.
Why you have to bring them?
Told you, they my dawgs.
Now let me see.
Yeah, that thing healing up real good.
Now check this out, baby bro:
All you gotta do is what you supposed to.
And ain't nobody gonna get hurt.
Now go in there and get that money.
[chattering, electronic music]
[singing in Spanish]
Mm-hmm. Good looking out.
You let them drive-by shooters in?
My bad, dude. They know where you live.
It's the best I could do.
Shit.
Are your record execs here, or what?
Yeah, man, they just got here.
[shouting]
All right, everybody. Calm down, calm down.
It's time for the freestyle rap battle, you know what I'm saying?
[cheering]
What's up, all of you?
All right, so the rules are, you have to be in high school,
and you have to dis your opponent straight up freestyle.
We don't want any ready-made raps.
Yeah. No touching your opponent or cursing.
Mom's still upstairs.
[booing]
- Calm down. Calm down. - I know, I know, all right.
You each get two minutes,
and the winner gets a portion of tonight's proceeds.
Yes, and you get a free consultation
with two of the record execs from my mom's firm.
All right.
All right, first up is my bro Stunner vs. Shauniqua.
♪ It's like a country-western ♪
♪ When I rode through your town ♪
♪ Bust a cap in your fat-ass ♪
♪ Then you ho-down ♪
♪ They say, wassup? You good to battle, G? ♪
♪ Let me cough up this cold flow ♪
♪ Like I had allergies ♪
♪ Are you mad at me 'cause I'ma rip you up ♪
♪ In front of these dudes ♪
♪ We the people, we got us here, we don't need you ♪
Oh, sorry. The other bathroom was full.
Oh, on. It's okay. I was just about to leave.
Girl, you okay?
Yeah, no. It's just I have a big chem test to study for.
You look great.
Just like out of a magazine.
Could you just do me a favor and give this to Chowder for me?
Sure.
♪ See my pretty face, then ♪
♪ Serious and pretty ♪
♪ Girl, you so ugly, I wouldn't say shit ♪
♪ And let me walk away, boy, I just killed this bitch ♪
You want the mike?
♪ Skinny little nigga, don't pay him no mind ♪
♪ No matter how I look, they always behind ♪
♪ Players hate it when I come back with a rhyme ♪
♪ I think you must be out for a powder ♪
CROWD: Oh!
♪ Like you can't even believe it ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm sicker than the weakest ♪
[continues rapping]
♪ I'ma do it like Mike ♪
♪ nigga, check it ♪
CROWD: Oh!
These niggas is weak.
If you don't take their money, we will.
Yeah, the old-fashioned way.
♪ My flows will probably go right over your head ♪
♪ But your girl's head was in the right place ♪
♪ When we was in bed ♪
♪ I'm on the next level ♪
♪ You're a demon, I'm the devil ♪
♪ I'm a boulder, you're a pebble ♪
♪ I'm a president, you're a whack-ass rebel ♪
♪ You're light skinned, and you got freckles, my dude ♪
♪ You look like a leopard, go back to the zoo ♪
♪ Man, your eyebrows cut up ♪
♪ Like you got here with clippers ♪
♪ You look like this girl's bag minus all the zippers ♪
CROWD: Oh!
[siren chirps]
You have no idea what it's like to raise a daughter these days.
Can't even listen to the radio without putting a condom on.
♪ Let me say something 'fore I smashing on you ♪
♪ It's cute you did your hair to match your mom's cooch ♪
♪ Wait a minute... ♪
♪ Your dad probably lick your head ♪
♪ And be like, oops, wrong bush ♪
♪ You and Chowder probably pay a butt tax to kiss butt ♪
♪ Obama beating me, are you outta your brains? ♪
♪ Shoot your kneecaps and leave you walking with a McCain ♪
♪ Hold up, you know I dig... ♪
♪ Call the police, Obama got assassinated ♪
[shouting]
Next up, we got my boy Quicktime vs. C.C., the Conscious Criminal.
All right, all right. What's up, what's up?
C.C., get out here.
C'mon, what?
What's up?
♪ They call me Quicktime 'cause I bring the pain ♪
♪ Slammin' C.C. so hard never forget a slave name ♪
♪ When it comes to rap I'd think you'd know your way ♪
♪ But by the time it gets played all your hair will be gray ♪
♪ Spinnin' up a storm on this microphone ♪
♪ So just give me a minute 'cause I think I'm ♪
♪ About to blow straight out the door ♪
♪ Tired of talkin' to you unless I'm bein' sick ♪
[Taps in Spanish]
♪ So come down here and gimme back a little howl ♪
CROWD: Whoa!
♪ See who's trying to bite me, suckers can't out-white me ♪
♪ When I rap, I think I'll just do it like Nike ♪
♪ Like Johnnie Cochran I'll put you on the stand ♪
♪ I'll rap you and pimp slap you without using my hand ♪
CROWD: Whoa!
[continues rapping]
♪ This ruinous white trash is shorter than my mike stand ♪
♪ Look, stop rapping, just go join a white band ♪
♪ This girl and white people girl, black power ♪
♪ You talking for some minutes ♪
♪ I'm talking for some hours ♪
♪ You got players who say it ♪
♪ I don't say it, I do it ♪
♪ His mother's a freak ♪
♪ She let me toot it and boot it ♪
CROWD: Whoa!
OBAMA: Geniosity, man.
- Wait, what? - I'm gonna take Michelle to the prom.
Fool, Michelle is not gonna have sex with your degenerate ass.
Of course not, but once the word gets out
that me and the prom queen are going out,
and then I can drill one of the lesser females
with my turbo-charged genitalia.
Do you understand?
I understand you are one pathetic parasite.
But that is geni-fucking-osity man.
Yo, but isn't she going out with Reggie, man?
He's like Mr. Ego and prom king to be.
You have to, like, kill him first.
Maybe, but maybe not.
♪ Regulators making airs on black on black ♪
♪ Modern day Uncle Tom, we need Malcolm back ♪
CROWD: Yo!
52% “avg?!
Yeah, that little C.C. won.
Yo, the judges have reached a decision.
And the winner, and surprise new hip-hop heavyweight is
C.C., the Conscious Criminal.
[cheering]
Let's keep this music going, y'all.
[chanfing] GO, go:
Hey, um, you were good.
I mean, C.C., he's awesome pro-level shit.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, shit.
Do you mind if I smoke?
I don't care if you burn.
[laughs]
Hey, what the fuck?
$117?
Nigga, you had us drive way out here for this shit?
We oughta jack these little rich niggas.
I'm gonna get a percentage of something.
Yeah.
Once on the rope, Check for the mope.
One of your little bitch-ass homies called the police.
So we up outta here.
You take the car.
Just do it, nigga.
♪ Kinda hard to keep you G, when you're not like me ♪
♪ Not, not, not like me ♪
Good evening, gentlemen. Can I offer you a beverage?
This is a residential neighborhood. Do you know what that means?
Yes, sir. We got our consent forms filled out by our neighbors
from both sides of the street.
I have them right here if you'd like to see them.
I get one complaint, I'm shutting you down.
5-O.
Oh, shit.
So I can expect to see you back at home at 2400?
- Yes, sir. - Me, too.
Carry on.
Good night, Officer.
Charlie here tells us you're the real deal,
from the hood?
Didn't your brother get shot?
No, no, no, no, no.
No offense, bro, but use that.
Keep it real, see?
Write about niggas like me shooting each other?
Niggas like you, yeah, yeah, but you know, give it some flash.
Gangsta that shit up.
Or sexy that shit.
That sells, too.
Hey, look, bro, we don't make the rules,
but you want to sell CD5, right?
See, you're living it, so it's probably not fresh to you.
Probably not.
You ain't never been east of Crenshaw, huh?
[laughing]
Hell, no.
- But I know what sells. - He does.
- Finklestein? - Yeah.
You Jewish, right?
All day long, son.
Matzo Balls, that's what they call me. That's what he calls me.
Somebody told you to write a rap about your people dying in the Holocaust,
but gangster it up,
would you do it?
Uh... huh?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
Dude, man, look at her, right, man?
Why am I so afraid, man?
Dude, should I do the yo' mama jokes?
Not a good idea, no.
Later, later, okay? You're stoned.
Dude, no. I want to prove...
I believe you, man. Dude, relax.
Dude, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
Que? Que.
I ain't afraid of yo' mama.
Oh, shit. No. I mean...
the joke, no. Let me do that for you.
[retches]
[shouting]
What the fuck, man?
Yo, so we've got to give the D.J. 250.
And my mom said keep a $500 cleaning deposit.
What the hell, man? Why didn't you tell me that shit sooner?
After security, lighting and refreshments,
all I get is a stinking 400 and change.
Dude, it is not my fault that your cheap-ass dad won't get you a car.
- Hey, don't talk about-- - Do not bring that shit to me.
Yo, you greedy niggas need to get back up there.
Que is about to get beat down by Shauniqua and Paco.
Oh, and Cheyenne's leaving.
Damn, can't even get my money together.
[shouting in Spanish]
Play Paco's cut.
This one is, when you're a Latin lover,
put on Latin lockdown by your girl, and you're sleeping in the car.
♪ Hey, she rolled her eyes ♪
♪ I seen this look on her face a dozen times ♪
♪ What's wrong with you? Why the bad mood? ♪
♪ She just rolled her shoulders, then she said ♪
♪ I need to know what's on your mind ♪
♪ Been givin' me blank stares ♪
♪ Just to walk inside ♪
♪ Please not tonight ♪
Hey, you gonna sing for us or what?
We're about to leave.
Oh, you didn't know it's customary to dance
with the host before you leave?
I'll meet you at the bar.
I don't do all that grinding stuff, though, so, um...
We'll keep it PG.
Thank you.
♪ I'm trying to figure this out ♪
♪ Why I can't sleep on the couch ♪
♪ You find me sleeping in the car ♪
♪ Sleeping, sleeping in my car ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm sleeping in the car tonight ♪
So, I told Stunner that I wouldn't be going to the prom with him.
Ah, so we got a deal.
No sex,
no friends with benefits.
Of course not.
- Just the prom. - Mm-hmm.
0K3'! -
We have a deal.
I knew you would make the right choice.
What the hell is in that?
♪ I didn't want you to know ♪
♪ I couldn't let you see ♪
♪ I hid it from myself ♪
♪ Tried to believe ♪
♪ More than the beginning more than the end ♪
♪ More than just a friend ♪
QUE: Man, dude, Shauniqua freakin' hates me.
We all hate you.
Dude, like, just, you got to help me out.
Like, give me the chick intel.
Come on.
Flowers are cliché, but they usually work.
Yeah, flowers are good. Okay, so we're here.
Wait, wait, are you sure you're up for this, man?
Come on, man. It'll be fun.
All right, man.
Okay, so here's the deal.
They sign the release form, you give them the $5.00.
If they don't sign, we can't use them in the documentary.
Got it. Sign, $5.00, interview.
- Yeah. - Cool, all right, let's go.
You guys aren't coming with me.
We sit here in the safety zone till you're for sure getting an interview.
Just signal when it's safe.
Uh, that is so--you too?
You bitching out on me?
That's dirty. I hope y'all know that's dirty.
[car radio booms]
Hey.
Holy shit, this is like electric eye-candy on crack, bro.
I know, man.
- Oh, my God. - We came to see our boy hablo Hobo.
Did we miss anything?
Yo, I don't think so, but this shit is looking like House of the Dead 2.
You can catch eyeball herpes just looking at Homeskillet over there.
Ooh, now that's messed up.
Hey, you guys know what they say about dating homeless women, right?
- What? - What?
You can leave them anywhere.
[laughing]
Shut up. What if you two ended up homeless?
- Probably not gonna happen. - Yeah, you two.
You guys are very karmically insensitive, you know.
Oh, my gosh, Obama, we are tragically flawed.
Thank you for pointing that out.
All right, bro, get started.
Hey, put this one on Facebook.
- All right, let's do it. - Let's get it.
Going in. I'm going in!
QUE: He's gonna get shanked out there, man.
[laughing]
HENDRIX: Are you interested in doing an interview for $5.00?
Hell, no, I won't do no interview.
Are you interested in doing an interview--
' Ah! [Cat 3/Owls]
- Oh! - Dude, run!
Go for the knees, man. They don't drink a lot of milk.
[laughing]
HENDRIX: Are you interested in doing an interview for $5.00?
- Are you interested-- - You can't give money to poor people!
If you give money to poor people,
they make more poor people.
Give them consciousness.
So, do you feel your life has been a success?
Absolutely.
I don't pay rent, I have no teeth to clean,
and I got a front-row seat on Armageddon.
The end of man-unkind.
[laughs]
Mom got sick. I had to drop out to take care of her.
Then they foreclosed on our house, and...
we were on the street for six days before they took us in at the shelter.
Um, part of the program is that you do volunteer work here.
HENDRIX: So what are your goals for now?
I just want to be a student again, you know?
Like you 9UY5-
Finish school, take dance class again.
Normal stuff.
I miss dancing.
Can I have one of those?
Get out of here, little kid. Didn't your mama tell you it wasn't polite to beg?
- What the hell? - You're a dick, dude.
CHEYENNE: Well, we wish you the best of luck, and everything.
HENDRIX: Yeah, really. Thank you for talking to us.
Thanks.
Can I be in your movie?
I'm sorry, sweetie, you have to be older than 18.
My grandma will do it. She needs the money.
We came out here from Atlanta after my oldest boy was killed.
My second son's been in and out of prison,
so I tell my youngest boy, "You stay in school.
You don't be like them."
Barack here is my grandson.
He's a very smart boy.
If you could do it over again, what would you do differently?
I had my boys way too early.
Didn't have enough to give 'em.
Then I lost my eyesight.
My daddy's a rapper-
MAN: He gonna get knocked out--
[chuckling]
What the fuck?
What the hell is you all doing in my mama house?
Dee, honey, they're just here asking me some questions.
About this little movie they making.
That's all, baby.
Mama, it's time for your medicine.
Barack.
I think I need to check on my car.
Sit your $5.00-ass down before I make change, fat boy.
Yeah, these little niggas know something.
Why y'all here asking my mama questions?
Yeah, these bitches know something.
We asked you a question.
Put the girlies in the back.
You heard him. Get to stepping.
We didn't know anything, I swear.
It's just for our school project.
Hey, let 'em go.
Give 'em they money back.
C.C.: All right, now, tell 'em.
I brought them here. I wanted the money.
Hey, my mama can't be in your fucking movie.
Is we clear?
Clear.
What'cha all wanna do?
I say we take no chances.
Let these little bitches go.
And I better not see y'all around here ever again.
Let's go, guys. Go, 90, 90-
You trippin'.
♪ Could you be my brown-eyed girl? ♪
♪ Baby, you're a stunner, saw you from my hummer ♪
I thought we were dead.
I feel bad for C.C. That's some jacked-up home life.
♪ Around you I get dumber ♪
♪ I can be your one-er, brown eyed-girl ♪
♪ She's my baby beauty, Such a cutie ♪
♪ Eyes look like a bag from Louis ♪
♪ Picture perfect, she's a 10 ♪
♪ She's my lover, she's my friend ♪
♪ She's the other half no other gal can ever match ♪
Pontificate.
♪ She's the heartbreak, I'm the pain ♪
My dad likes to pontificate, even though he bores us.
Let me see.
Gimme.
Hendrix is a closet artist and a visual learner.
So I'm having him draw something to remember each word.
Let me see.
That does look like Dr. Sutton.
- Michelle. - Come here.
What? It's okay for you to flirt with him.
He's cute, and now you're a cougar.
Let me see your phone.
[snorts]
Can I see your phone, please?
- What's your password? - Leave him alone.
- What? - Michelle's secret test.
Before you trust a boy with your affection,
make sure he trusts you with the password to his phone and computer.
You two are boring me. I feel like some me time at the mall.
- You coming? - He's got a huge vocab test tomorrow.
Don't forget.
I know, if I see Supercop, we're here studying alone.
It's fine.
Nice hanging with you today.
You, too.
- [Cheyenne screams] - Damn!
- Michelle! - Bye, you guys. Don't do anything I'd do.
♪ I can be your one-er, brown-eyed girl ♪
- ♪ Baby, you're a stunner ♪ [camera shutter clicking]
♪ Saw you from my Hummer ♪
[phone ringing]
Hello?
OBAMA, distorted voice: What you doing, player?
Just studying vocab.
Ah, okay.
It's Obama.
Well, guess what Mr. Geniosity did.
[from computer] Wow!
I hacked into the student database.
And you were right, Barack is C.C.'s son.
[from computer] Oh!
Wow.
OBAMA: Heavy shit, I know.
Look, man, I gotta bounce.
Okay.
[from computer] Hope, change, and awesome swag.
It's 3:57, Sunday.
Time to step it up to the next level.
Where were we?
[giggles]
[moaning from computer]
What the hell you doing, you little horndog?
Oh, shit. Come on, man.
Better be good, man.
It is, it is. Look, look, look, look, look.
What a douche, he's using his real feelings to wrangle poon.
Yo, there is no way he's winning this bet.
We gotta step up our game.
Correction, you need to step it up, fat man.
Look what else I found.
Reggie?
Oh, shit.
Dawg, you're not gonna--
I'm not gonna do anything Mr. Jock itch doesn't deserve.
So the question is,
while I close the deal with Michelle,
Hendrix works Cheyenne, and Que goes ghetto,
what are you and Quioktime doing besides stroking your twinkies?
HENDRIX: I'm winning, I'm winning. All right.
- OBAMA: No, you're not. - QUE: On your ass, man.
Oh, no!
QUICK TIME: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa!
[grunting]
[Sighs]
So, you tell your dad about me yet?
Why would I?
It looks like someone got a 98 on their quiz.
Let me see this.
I mean, I might be taking his daughter to prom.
Hover: to remain suspended in or near a place in the air.
It's only because of my education
that I learned the steps to make these things possible.
OBAMA: Every day, Reggie has three organic sandwiches.
- See my test? - No.
[gasps]
- 100, A+. - Look at that.
[no audible dialogue]
What are the three branches of government?
Legislative, executive, and judicial.
Okay, okay, I see somebody's been studying.
[from computer] Live, exclusive, top-of-the-line models
ready to do whatever you want.
- Meet girls like... - Monique.
at Discreet Escorts. All major credit cards accepted.
Hey, Sharon.
- Hey, you remember me from the interviews? - Yeah, yeah.
I was just thinking how you told us that you like to dance, and--
[Pachelbel's Canon in D playing]
GIRL: What does this nigga think he's doing?
Ah, hell, no.
[laughing]
DR. SUTTON: I know you can rap.
I want you to write the lyrics for the senior class project.
But write something real, no bullshit. Understand?
[orchestra playing Pachelbel's Canon in D]
But that stuff don't have no beat.
Sure it does. You got to find it.
Or fail.
♪ Where will we go? ♪
♪ What will we be? ♪
♪ Is there space ♪
♪ In this world for me? ♪
The end of man-unkind.
[laughs]
[choir continues]
OBAMA, voiceover: By 2:00, Reggie has his second sandwich.
There are currently 7 billion people on the planet.
Scientists say that we can only hold 9 billion.
But, here's the catch.
If those 9 billion live like us Americans do,
I mean, yeah, with the nice cars and the big houses,
our carbon footprint would be that of 18 billion.
And see, that's our challenge as the people of tomorrow.
We need to figure out a way to live in harmony with nature.
I mean, 'cause, clearly it's not working, right?
[applause]
The bank is going to close.
Oh, okay, just give me a second.
All right, I have to say that was pretty impressive.
CLASS: Very impressive.
Very impressive?
Very impressive.
All right, that was very, very impressive.
[applause]
DR. SUTTON: All right, let's bring up the lovely Principal Reynolds.
My ex-wife has nominated me to chaperone y'all at the prom.
- CLASS: Oh! - No, you're not done with me.
I know you're just intimidated 'cause me and her
are gonna bring some old-school Soul Train moves.
I'm going to give you a taste. Wait.
CLASS: Whoo!
[laughing]
All right, I can do this with you.
[laughing]
All right, listen, listen.
I want to wish you guys good luck on the senior project tomorrow,
and I want to say it was a pleasure teaching you.
Thank you for tolerating me.
Good luck.
Yeah!
♪ We the party ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Uh-huh ♪
♪ All right ♪
So, you ever gonna sing for me?
Probably not.
How come?
You scare me.
Why?
'Cause.
I'm not supposed to feel this way about you.
- Am I giving you a boner? - Shut up, weirdo.
What am I gonna do with you?
Cheyenne's my girl, you know that, right?
- Michelle! - What?
Aw, man.
- You like her? - Yeah, a lot.
Okay, switch phones.
- Seriously? - Come on, you two. Switch phones.
MICHELLE: What's your password?
Chickenfat.
MICHELLE: Okay.
What's your password?
[Whispers] Vegan.
I see how it is.
Now you may kiss.
MICHELLE: Nice.
So when's he go before Supercop for judgment?
Tomorrow.
After the senior project.
Smart move.
Daddy will see your little boy-toy here in your documentary.
He'll know he helped you out.
I'm going to bed because Reggie's being an asshole.
Turn out the lights when you're done?
0K3'! -
Hey, want to go for a dip?
I didn't bring a bathing suit.
Neither did I.
Now that, that's a plan right there.
You've only seen this once before,
but I can do the Buddha.
Oh, my God.
Whatever happens between us,
I want it to be special.
And safe.
And not now.
Let's make prom night a night we'll never forget.
My mom is sewing her ass off.
The costumes will be ready. I e-mailed a photo to you.
Okay, let me check it out.
[boing sound effect]
Oh, oh, whoa!
And you, Hendrix Sutton, have won a $100 gift certificate
to where the hell you want to go,
because you, my man, have won the bet.
MAN: You know, the party ain't the car,
it ain't the house, it ain't the shoes.
It's inside. We the party.
Education is the key to success.
Smart is the new gangsta.
Hey, Calvin, I got you, bro.
That's real funny.
Yeah, congratulations on your bet.
What do you mean?
She has your password, you dumb shit.
Aren't those shallow gauges of success?
♪ Did I pass or fail, graduate or go to jail? ♪
♪ Who writes the test, who defines success? ♪
♪ We all want to win, play ball or rap ♪
♪ But when that don't happen, it ain't no goin' back ♪
♪ You dropped out too young, now you just busting caps ♪
♪ Call it blue on red, but it's really black on black ♪
♪ 'Cause the more we drop out, the more we go to jail ♪
♪ Like voluntary slaves, expected to fail ♪
♪ Listen up, brother, you need to understand ♪
♪ Being truly educated ain't a part of their plan ♪
♪ We got tricked again, slicked again ♪
♪ Held back and not picked again ♪
♪ Short-changed and gypped again ♪
♪ Pink-slipped again ♪
♪ Truth been flipped again, ripped again ♪
♪ The truth been flipped again, ripped again ♪
♪ Life's the test keep us oppressed, we want ♪
♪ Success, so do your best ♪
[drums]
DR. SUTTON: Education is the key to success.
MAN: You definitely need an education in this life
in order to be successful.
WOMAN: The problem is that the sisters
are graduating from college while the fellas are dropping out.
♪ If money's the only road, then we're all goin' to fail ♪
♪ If greed is the crime, then we all go to jail ♪
♪ If love is the answer, why don't it pay the rent? ♪
♪ If patience is a virtue, why's it all spent? ♪
♪ If religion is the way, then why we all fighting? ♪
♪ If mankind gonna survive, why we ain't united? ♪
♪ If the truth will set you free ♪
♪ Then why we still lying? ♪
♪ Big criminals get off, but the baby still crying ♪
♪ If karma is real, why don't we respect it? ♪
♪ If the earth is our home, then why we neglect it? ♪
♪ We got tricked again, slicked again ♪
♪ Held back and not picked again ♪
♪ Short-changed, been gypped again ♪
♪ Pink-slipped again ♪
♪ Truth been flipped again, been ripped again ♪
♪ The truth been flipped again, ripped again ♪
♪ Life's the test keep us oppressed, we want ♪
What the hell you guys do that for, man?
Do what?
Obama's stupid e-mail. Cheyenne saw it.
Yo, Hendrix, what are you doing?
You're up.
♪ Life's the test keep us oppressed, we want ♪
♪ Success ♪
[choir singing]
[cheering]
HENDRIX: So what is success?
Money, power, wealth, happiness, spirituality, what?
When I think of success, I think of someone who's smart.
Confident. Someone who takes the time to help others.
And, you know, if you're lucky, you can be fine, too.
[laughing]
The lady I'm about to introduce to you is that and so much more.
She's my tutor, she's my inspiration,
and hopefully, no matter what happens,
she'll always be my friend.
Our director, Cheyenne Davis.
[cheering]
With all the people we interviewed,
it became clear that true success is an individual thing.
Although they were not always happier,
the well-educated people were better off.
So, in other words, the more you learn, the more you earn.
And in some cases, the longer you live.
Perspective was a key factor.
Generally, people with a sense of humor
who laughed a lot tended to live longer, happier lives.
Soto all my seniors out there graduating,
keep laughing, keep learning,
and let's do some dancing at our prom.
[cheering]
♪ Didn't want you to know, I couldn't let you see ♪
♪ I hid it from myself, I tried to believe ♪
♪ More than the beginning more than the end ♪
♪ More than just a friend ♪
Hey!
- Ha ha. - Watch your step, brother.
What are you doing?
You're looking for me, huh?
- Yeah, I got you. - Obama. Obama.
Yo, your master's calling you.
- Yo, bitch boy. - Walk away. Get out of here.
Yo, man, the principal wants to see you.
- What's going on? - I don't know, man.
But whatever it is, it's some heavy shit.
The cops were here earlier.
So the day before yesterday was supposed to be our last day in this class.
But unfortunately I've got to drag everybody back here
for something pretty disturbing.
Now, the other day when Miss Chavez stopped by,
she put her purse over there.
I think I put it in-- on one of these tables.
Oh, right here.
Eduardo, were you there at the time?
I was in the restroom.
Okay, go stand in the back.
Now, inside the bag was cash from the prom ticket sales.
When she went to make the deposit at the bank,
she realized that it was missing.
MICHELLE: So I'm here because I'm, like, a suspect?
Why would I need to steal the money? That's ridiculous.
Yeah, obviously it was someone who needs the money.
Rich people steal more money than anyone.
Half the time, that's how they get rich.
Yeah, that's right. Tell him.
DR. SUTTON: Hey, look. Anyone could have taken the money.
Well, how much money was in there?
$1,211.
Now, right now the school is not looking to press charges.
We would just like the money returned.
What if no one admits to it?
Well, then we'd have to refund the remaining money
and we'd probably have to cancel the prom.
What?
Yep. This class will become a crime scene,
police will get involved,
and whoever did it
will have to face the consequences.
One klepto jerk steals the money
and now we're going to cancel prom?
Uh-oh, prom queen's gonna miss a photo op.
Shut up, Taco, Paco, whatever your name is.
Some of us actually care.
Hey, stay civil.
All right, we've got three minutes until recess is over.
Then the bell's going to ring,
police are going to come in and take statements.
DR. SUTTON: We all make mistakes.
But rarely do you get a chance to do damage control.
But what if they already spent part of the money?
Why you keep looking at me?
[Speaking Spanish]
Hey, hey, language! Sit down.
MS. REYNOLDS: Look, a lot of you have worked very hard on the prom fundraiser,
so whoever it is, don't ruin it for everyone else.
Regardless if you spent some of it,
or not, say so now. Please.
Let's not end a good year on a bad note.
17 seconds.
Come on. 12 seconds.
[bell rings]
All right. Nope, no, no. Stay in your seats.
Sit back down.
Police officers are going to come in,
and they're going to have to take some statements.
- I took it. - What?
Why?
You know why.
For a car?
Where's the money?
What an asshole.
Hey! Where is the money?
It's in my box. At home.
Well, go get it.
Go!
How we doing here?
Not too good. But I think we got it under control.
Oh, do you, now?
Yes, I do.
Thank you for your time, officers.
MS. REYNOLDS: Class dismissed.
Come on, get to your next class.
Come on, let's go.
You know, I bought a speed boat with the money I made in overtime
chasing little black boys like this.
Little punks who think they've got everybody fooled.
Sad but true.
I'll see you when you're 18.
Not if I can help it.
Well, apparently, you can't.
She would, like, top me off, top me off.
- Man, she topped me off, too. - She topped me off first.
Hey, good job hosting that show.
Really stole it.
- Hey, man, crime don't pay. - Crime don't pay, man.
Anyway, we gotta go practice.
Y'all let me play, I can be at practice too, man.
- Shut up. - All right.
[laughing]
Hey, bro.
If you need to talk, I'm here.
Stupid motherfucker!
You crazy?
You have two strikes already! You have a son!
- What you talking about? - You're 20 years old!
They'll try you as an adult!
Over $1,200, you want to end up like your brother?
Why the fuck you hit me, you little bitch-ass nigga?
- I was trying to help! - You know exactly what I'm talking about.
[phone rings]
Look, Hendrix is going crazy. We got to stop him.
OFFICER: Walker, head east on campus. Something's going down.
You want to end up like your brother?
Fuck my brother.
Look at my name, Conscious Criminal, I don't give a motherfuck.
Boys' locker room, boys' locker room!
[shouting]
- You want to end up like your brother? - Fuck my brother.
- Que, do your mama jokes, man. - What?
Que, do your mama jokes, dude.
Your mama so fat, bitch got her own zip code.
- [forced laughter] - Laugh.
You want to get expelled? Help me make them laugh.
Laugh, laugh, laugh. Ha, ha, ha.
Laugh, motherfuckers.
[laughing]
Dr. Sutton!
I'm sorry. They get into everything.
It was him. It's his fault.
No, it was you. It was you.
- It was your fault. - No, it was you.
Your mama's so damn ugly,
she looked out the window, and got arrested for mooning.
Oh yeah? Uh...
What the hell's going on?
Uh, just telling jokes.
Yeah.
So did you actually see them fighting?
No. When we got there, these two were laughing,
and that one was cracking jokes.
Excuse me, Principal Reynolds, this was after the bell started ringing,
so technically, we were not cutting class.
I'm aware of the rules.
What happened to your face?
I slipped and hit the sink.
And you?
When he fell, I caught an elbow,
and it tore my shirt.
I will deal with you later.
Do you remember what I told you would happen
if you came to my office again?
Yeah.
DR. SUTTON: Excuse me.
We, uh... We have a situation.
Miss Chavez.
[Speaking Spanish]
While my daughter is away, I watch my grandsons.
They get into everything.
I found the money under the bed.
I'm so sorry.
Please, forgive me.
I hope that one day, when my grandson grows up,
he will be as brave as your boy.
What's this?
Did you give us your car money?
DR. SUTTON: You people mind excusing us for a minute?
Honey, why did you say you took it?
I'm 16, and C.C.'s 20.
This would have been his third strike.
He could have lost his son to foster care.
C.C. didn't grow up with what I have.
Can I go?
Yeah, go ahead.
[Sighs]
Hey, bro, you got a minute?
I thought you did it, man. I was trippin'.
Man, people been thinking that about me my whole life.
Sometimes, they was right.
But, like, ain't nobody ever did what you did.
You thought I was doin' dirt, but you still tried to save me.
My own brother...
My own brother let me go down for some bullshit he did.
If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be graduating,
I would have got expelled.
So what's the next move, man?
You know, Conscious Criminal ain't ready to give up on the rap game yet.
I got to stay conscious. Ain't no selling out.
One more thing.
Don't ever throw that jab my way again.
All right.
REGGIE: Hey, Obama.
Boy, Hendrix, dumber than you, dawg.
Why would anyone sacrifice $1,200
for another drive-by shooter wannabe rapper?
You know he going to end up in jail any fucking way.
I promise you that.
Oh, shit!
YO, YO:
[gagging]
Is that?
PLAYER: Dude, dude, bro, what the fuck is wrong with you?
This is peanut butter, man.
[coughing]
I think I read somewhere that Reggie's allergic to peanuts.
- [Reggie gagging] - Like, super allergic?
No, but enough.
BOTH: I'm sorry.
I never should have made that stupid bet.
I never had the intentions, it was just
a bunch of boys playing around, like, wishful thinking.
I'm sorry I doubted you.
You really thought I took it.
Kind of. For a second.
It was like, holy shit, did he steal the money
to get a car to take me to the prom?
You felt guilty?
In a weird way.
Kinda flattered in a twisted way, too.
So thinking that I'm crazy enough to steal a car
to take you to the prom is a turn-on.
No, it's not.
You'd be too psycho, and I'd have felt guilty.
I really would have felt guilty
if my dad had given your dad the beatdown.
Yeah, see, that wouldn't have happened,
because my dad is an ex-Marine.
My dad can protect and serve, okay?
L.A.P.D. whup-ass, all day long.
Too bad that's with a badge and a gun.
Even without.
Well, my dad's not scared of your dad, and neither am I.
Good.
What?
Good, 'cause I was kinda thinking,
you know, maybe tonight you can come swoop me up
in your dad's little Prius,
and take me to the prom.
Really?
Please?
Is it gonna be cool with your dad?
MEGAN: Oh, come on. Forget Reggie.
Pretty is temporary. Dumb is forever.
The flashy rappers and jocks, they win today.
But they lose tomorrow.
And nerds like my brother, yeah, they lose today,
but tomorrow they become Bill Gates
or president of the United States.
So the real question is, Michelle,
who do you want on your Facebook status forever
when colleges check you out,
or when you run for office?
And how ironic is this?
Your name's Michelle, and everyone calls my brother Obama.
Phase two: Successful.
[rapping in Spanish]
So, the story is we met last summer up at Big Bear Lake, jet-skiing.
You were there on a modeling assignment.
I jotted down a few personal factoids,
so when the fellas ask, and trust me, they're gonna ask,
you tell them that pound for pound, I'm hella good in the sack.
Fat fly Freddie Flintstone makes your bed rock.
And if you do a good job, I might just throw in a little tip for you,
if you know what I'm saying.
Go. Come on.
Is this a bank job or something?
Come on, just go. Come on.
[cheering]
♪ Anything can happen ♪
♪ When you try to track the beat tonight ♪
♪ Walk on wind, walk on water ♪
♪ It's all right ♪
♪ Now that we're here ♪
♪ Dancing in the light ♪
♪ Now that we're here ♪
♪ On the other side ♪
♪ The doors are open wide tonight ♪
♪ Take my hand ♪
[singing continues]
Hey, guys.
You guys remember Sharon?
Oh, yeah.
Isn't that the--
Yeah, figured if I was going to bring someone to prom,
might as well bring someone that likes to dance.
Well, hey, girl.
♪ Hey, yo ♪
[rapping in Spanish]
What up, my niggas?
What's up, bro?
So, Chowder, you gonna introduce us to your date?
Yeah. Monique, this is the crew,
and crew, this right here is Monique.
So, Monique, how'd you two meet?
[accented] Monique.
How'd you two meet?
Monique.
Don't speak English.
ALL: Oh.
She said she's half Haitian and half French.
So, how do you two communicate?
Ah, you know, body language, man.
You know, just, we can feel each other.
Hey, Monique, you want to get el drinko?
Ladies, we're going to the restroom now.
Next time you hire an escort, try one that speaks English.
Whoa.
You, seriously. Come on, Matt.
Oh, my God! [laughing]
Oh, my God.
All right, what were you thinking?
The whole school's gonna know.
And when my mom sees her credit card bill,
my ass is gonna be extra crispy.
- Extra crispy. - Shut up.
He paid that tall chick that talk funny?
Oh, my God. Que, please take your doodle-mama for a walk.
Whoa, whoa, bro.
What'd that fat nigga say? 'Cause you know I don't play that shit.
I know, baby.
Come on, let's go, baby.
[rapping]
How many times you want to get beat up tonight?
Your mom's already coming for that ass.
She's about to be on you. Come on, man.
Look, you cannot buy your way into winning the bet.
That's called cheating.
So you talk to him yet?
No, he was so busy trying to beg for the car
and get to prom. Did you talk to him?
- No. - Okay.
I don't even know who he is sometimes.
I don't think he knows who he is.
[hip-hop music]
- Wanna dance? - Why you being a bitch?
[Speaking Spanish]
Dude, do you see that over there?
Paco's getting the taco, and I'm getting the bill.
OBAMA: Man, don't worry about him. It's our night tonight.
Dude, mood change, frowny face.
Come on, man, nobody's gonna win the stupid bet.
Not yet.
- You want to talk to him now? - Here?
Yeah, we're all together.
You're the principal, and there's no time like the present.
- Come on, man. - All right, so how about a bomb?
- Yeah? - All right, man.
ALL: Bomb!
[laughing]
Excuse me, gentlemen.
- Your teacher... - And your principal wants to see you.
Give us a minute.
Have fun.
What you did today was some risky shit.
You put yourself and your future in jeopardy.
Now, look, we're just trying to keep 16-year-old Hendrix
from messing up the life of 20- or 30-year-old Hendrix.
I'm sorry.
No, you're not, you just want to get your ass back in there with your friends.
Now, you know Mom and I don't always agree.
But we agree on this: You're a good businessman.
You know how to handle money, save it, and make it.
And your GPA came way up,
which proves that you can succeed academically
if you focus.
But there's a lot of smart rich people out there, son,
and they're spiritually broke. You know why?
'Cause they don't do anything for anybody else.
What the world needs are people with heart.
And that's what you showed us today.
You made us proud, son.
We can teach you a lot of things, but...
we can't teach you heart,
So, whatever money you've managed to put away in your car fund,
we're gonna match.
So I get double.
- [chuckles] - No.
No, you get triple.
We're both gonna match it.
Oh! I'm gonna be rollin'.
- You like that, huh? - Uh-huh.
Thank you, GUYS-
Hey, go have fun.
[imitates tires squealing]
[chuckles]
ANNOUNCER: Michelle Bailey!
You did good.
I've never really thought of myself as amazing,
but this truly shows me that that's how you guys think I am.
And I just wanted to say, Maya, we're both winners tonight.
Whoo!
Okay, everybody, one of our seniors has a special message
for a special friend up in here.
Miss Cheyenne Davis, come on now.
Y'all give it up.
[cheering]
♪ If there ever comes a time you ever want to play ♪
♪ Play with me ♪
♪ If there ever comes a day when you need a friend ♪
♪ Stay with me ♪
♪ Baby, come take my hand ♪
♪ Walk around with me, yeah ♪
♪ More than just a friend ♪
♪ I don't want to say goodbye ♪
♪ Spread my wings and fly ♪
♪ More than just a friend ♪
♪ It's not so easy to fly ♪
♪ Now that I've found love ♪
You okay?
Go ahead and laugh.
Everyone else is.
I didn't come here to laugh at you.
Jackie.
What happened to your, uh...
Cage? Yeah, I don't have to wear it anymore.
I know it was kind of hard to see who I was under that thing.
Anyway, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to dance?
To be truly honest,
I don't even dance that well on slow songs.
Oh, well, it's been like two years for me,
so, if you'd rather not...
I mean, if you want to, we can try, yeah.
Just, not really in the middle.
Maybe here?
Yeah, okay.
Cool.
[new song starts]
♪ Ice cream on your body ♪
♪ I don't mind licking off ♪
♪ Oh, darling, hold tight ♪
♪ Everything is so right ♪
♪ All you gotta do ♪
You think we could have that?
Who knows what we could have if you keep singing to me?
So what's gonna happen with us?
I got into Columbia.
Full scholarship.
Wow. New York.
Maybe, if I get my grades even higher next year,
say, 4.0,
I might be able to get into a good school, too.
Hopefully Columbia.
I mean, if, for example,
you had the right tutoring over the summer.
Oh, yeah. And the right motivation.
You know, I'm a visual learner.
Right. You're a hands-on learner, too.
Exactly. Hands-on everywhere.
Just knowing how things fit into place,
- and, you know. - Shut up, fool.
Okay, okay. Seriously.
If I get a 4.0 this year,
then you... [whispers]
Are you trippin'? You're crazy.
- That'll definitely keep me motivated. - It's not gonna happen.
Please?
HENDRIX, Narrating: My dad says that was the year
I finally got my eagle's feather.
It's also the year I got to hook up with Cheyenne in my own car.
Shauniqua and Que, they fell in love.
She traded the hood for the trailer park.
But, hey, they're happy.
Believe it or not, Calvin became a Log Cabin Republican.
And Michelle, she eventually ran for Congress,
and Obama, well, he helped her run the campaign.
I hope for his sake, he's still hitting that.
- Who the party? - We the party!
♪ Get it, get it started ♪
♪ It ain't who you know, it's who you are ♪
♪ 'Cause you the party ♪
♪ We the party, we the people ♪
HENDRIX, Narrating: After all the rapping,
my brother became a music attorney.
And believe it or not, he works with those two douchebag guys.
You know, Finklestein and What's-his-face.
Quicktime and Sharon, they moved in together,
'til she kicked him out for cheating,
and for a while, he was homeless.
Karma's a bitch, ain't it?
My mom and dad? They still have the hots for each other,
but they don't know I know about it.
C.C. hooked back up with his baby mama,
and has a hit song on the radio.
His brother and the scary Cyclops dude,
I think they're doing time for mail fraud.
Rumor has it Reggie got injured and opened a unisex hair salon.
Jackie and Chowder? They won a trip to Barbados.
Love, the sun, and all-you-can-eat buffet.
♪ I want to know, who the party? ♪
♪ We the pa-pa-p8-D3-Pam! 3
♪ Life takes off before you even go to college ♪
♪ But you gotta get control of it before you can't stop it ♪
♪ Reflections of the king on the mind of a young man ♪
♪ Does what he can, doesn't have a plan ♪
My dad's ready to see you now.
♪ But you don't understand why everything you do ♪
♪ Gets buried in the sand ♪
♪ Keep your chin up I know it seems hard ♪
I'm gonna start with you.
♪ You ain't gotta go far ♪
♪ I'm here to tell you there's a light ♪
♪ At the end of the tunnel, my friend ♪
♪ There's a great big world ahead ♪
♪ And I know that life gonna bring you trouble, my friend ♪
♪ But you gotta stand up and raise your hand ♪
♪ Yeah, whoa ♪
- Thank you, man. - That's what I'm talking about.
[shouting]
The dance floor is now open.
♪ Didn't want you to know, I couldn't let you see ♪
♪ I hid it from myself, I tried to believe ♪
♪ More than the beginning more than the end ♪
♪ More than just a friend ♪
...buy your success or recognition. You might have to do--do something.
♪ Let me say something before smashing on you ♪
♪ It's cool you did your head to match your mom's cooch ♪
♪ Hail with the crew ♪
♪ Let's go, yeah ♪
♪ More than just a friend ♪
♪ It's not so easy to fly ♪
♪ Now that I've found love ♪
♪ Soft kisses on your pretty eyes ♪
♪ Holding hands, ice cream, daydreams flow by ♪
♪ Not alone, I'll walk you home, sweet nothings on the phone ♪
♪ Pick a flower, make a wish while I rap you a poem ♪
♪ More than just a friend ♪
And Hendrix would get the worst of it.
That's the boy we got. We got us a two-slap son.
♪ More than just a friend ♪
♪ Let me see those hands, come on ♪
♪ She ghetto, she ghetto ♪
♪ Her hairdo, ghetto ♪
♪ Her attitude, ghetto ♪
♪ Her shoes, ghetto, her name, too, ghetto ♪
♪ She ghetto, she ghetto ♪
Give it some flash. Gangster that shit up.
Or sexy that shit.
That sells, too.
♪ Her ring braid, ghetto ♪
♪ That little wig thing, ghetto ♪
Hey! Everybody, wait a minute.
C.C., the Conscious Criminal.
♪ Listen up, brother, you need to understand ♪
♪ Being truly educated ain't a part of their plan ♪
♪ We got tricked again, slicked again ♪
♪ Held back and not picked again ♪
♪ Short-changed and gypped again ♪
♪ Pink-slipped again ♪
♪ Truth been flipped again, ripped again ♪
♪ The truth been flipped again, ripped again ♪
The party ain't the car, it ain't the house,
It ain't the shoes. It's inside.
We the party.
DR. SUTTON: Education is the key to success.
[drums]
♪ Life's the test keep us oppressed, we want ♪
♪ Life's the test keep us oppressed ♪
♪ We want success ♪
♪ So do your best ♪
♪ Truth been flipped again, ripped again ♪
[rapping, choir singing]
♪ the truth been flipped again, ripped again ♪
♪ The truth been flipped again, ripped again ♪
[rapping, choir singing]