They stand there
l see their mean faces. They've come to kill.
And they say to my boss
"Give us Boaz Rein
- 26 dogs? - Exactly.
How do you know there are 26 and not 30?
l'm coming to that.
- Well? - Well
- Do you check it out? - What do you think happens?
- l wake up. - At that point every time?
Exactly. lt always stops there.
- Since when? - lt's been two and a half years.
- And you call me at this hour? - Arsehole!
Don't call me an arsehole.
This dream is coming from somewhere.
l haven't told you everything.
- Like what? - You know
What about Lebanon?
At the start of the war
to search for wanted Palestinians.
Yeah
When someone enters a village
Everyone wakes up
Someone had to liquidate them
But why you?
They knew l couldn't shoot a person. They said to me
"Go ahead and shoot the dogs!"
26 dogs
Every face
How long before they started appearing in your dreams?
20 years.
- Have you tried anything? - Like what?
Therapy
No
l'm just a film-maker!
Can't films be therapeutic?
You've dealt with all the issues in your films
But nothing like this.
No flashbacks from Lebanon?
No. Not really.
Are you sure?
No.
- Beirut
You were only 100 yards away from the massacre!
More like 200 or 300 yards.
The truth is that's not stored in my system.
No flashbacks or dreams? You never think about it?
No
No.
You'll be OK
- You think so? - Sure.
You're sure? - Yes. l'll think of something.
- Sure? - Sure.
The meeting with Boaz took place in the winter of 2006.
That night
I had a fIashback of the war in Lebanon.
Not just Lebanon
but the massacre at the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps.
What's wrong? lt's 6:30 in the morning!
We all have friends who are lawyers
Sometimes that friendship costs them.
But you wouldn't wake your lawyer friend at 6:30.
My lawyer is ten times cheaper than you.
l just don't understand.
Why Boaz's dream with the dogs?
Why that to jog my memory? lt has nothing to do with me.
Memory is fascinating. Take this psychological experiment...
A group of people were shown ten chiIdhood images.
Nine were really from their childhood and one was fake.
Their portrait was pasted into a fairground they'd never visited.
80% recognised themselves...
They recognised the fake photo as real!
20% couldn't remember.
The researchers asked them again.
The second time
"Such a wonderful day at the park with my parents."
They remembered a completely fabricated experience.
Memory is dynamic. lt's alive.
lf some details are missing
memory fills the holes with things that never happened.
So my vision of the massacre is like the fake photo?
lt never happened? l invented it? lt's not real?
l don't know. Who was there with you?
Carmi was there. You know him from school.
And someone else l don't recognise.
- So ask Carmi what he remembers. - He's in Holland.
He's lived there for 20 years.
Go to Holland and ask him if it's bothering you.
lsn't that dangerous?
Maybe l'll discover things l don't want to know about myself.
Not at all.
You'll discover important things that you want to know.
We don't go to places if we really don't want to.
A human mechanism prevents us from entering dark places.
Memory takes us where we need to go.
See all that?
Yes.
lt's all mine.
All of it?
From those trees to the river.
- lt all belongs to you? - Yes
lt's about ten acres.
- All that just from selling falafel? - Just from falafel.
- Wow. - Come and see.
- How much falafel did you sell? - Three years was enough.
ln the early '90s l had a small stand in Utrecht.
Health food was in fashion. The Middle East too...
Falafel is both healthy and Middle Eastern.
Everyone thought you'd become a nuclear physicist.
Who did?
l don't know - your family
They thought that by the age of 40 you'd be nominated for a Nobel Prize.
By 20 that future was over.
Cold?
- Cold? l'm freezing. - Let's go inside.
Do we have to walk all that way?
lt's funny you've showed up now.
- Why? - When you called...
l had just gone out with my son Thomas. He's seven.
He was playing with a toy gun and started asking questions.
"What did you do in the army? Ever shoot anyone?"
- Did you? - l don't know.
Let's go inside and warm up.
Would you mind if l sketched you and your son playing in the snow?
No.
Not at all. Draw as much as you like.
l'll fetch him.
lt's fine as long as you draw but don't film.
As strange as it sounds
on a IittIe "Love Boat"
They wanted to mislead the enemy and launch a surprise attack.
What do you mean a "Love Boat"? With Jacuzzis and bars?
- All of that? - That's how l imagined it.
l later found out it was just an old commando boat.
For 18 you seemed pretty bright to me. l never took you for a fighter.
Frankly
l felt like everyone else was screwing like rabbits
and that l was the only... How can l put it?
The only nerd
but with masculinity problems.
So l had to prove to everyone
that l was the best fighter and some big hero.
Did you succeed?
Yes
l felt that l was strong and capable.
Then the war started and they put us on that damned "Love Boat".
- Then l... - You what?
l puked like a pig! l wondered what the enemy would think.
ln the end l collapsed on deck and fell asleep.
l sleep when l'm scared.
To this day
Unconscious on the deck...
dreaming a woman would come...
and take me for the first time...
I saw my best friends go up in flames before my eyes.
- Where? - On the boat.
l woke up just before we docked. lt's dawn
- Which city? - How should l know?
Sidon
Out of pure fear and anxiety we start shooting like lunatics.
- Who at? - How do l know?
Then an old Mercedes drives up.
Everyone fires at it like mad.
Two years of training
the uncontrollable fear...
Then the silence. The terrible silence of death.
At daybreak...
we could see our destruction...
without knowing where we were.
Lying in the car...
What was in the car?
The bodies of a whole family.
Why did you come here?
Me? l...
l lost my memory.
- ln an accident? - What?
- Did you have an accident? - What do you mean?
ln a car or at work?
No
l just can't remember anything about the Lebanon War.
Just one image in my mind.
Somehow you're in it.
What image?
Were you there too?
lt's hard to say.
What do you mean? Were you there?
lt's hard to say.
l don't remember anything about the massacre.
But you were in Beirut when the massacre took place.
Yes
l'll never forget us marching into Beirut.
But the massacre... How did you put it?
That's not stored in my system.
- Right. - Massacre...
Then it happened
Suddenly all the memories came back.
Not a hallucination
The first day of the war. Barely 19
We're driving down a road - orchards on one side
the sea on the other
we're shooting everywhere
That evening
"Load up the dead and wounded.
"Go and dump them."
- "Dump?" - "Yes
"Where?"
"How shouId I know? Out there
"That's where they're dumped."
So l drive all the way back.
l had never seen an open wound or any kind of bIeeding before.
Now l was in command of a tank
full of the dead and wounded
What should we do? Why don't you tell us what to do?
- Shoot. - At who?
How do l know? Just shoot.
- lsn't it better to pray? - Then pray and shoot.
Finally
As we get cIoser to the Iight
We unload mechanically
Then we turn around and drive off.
On the first day of the war
l transported the dead and wounded
from tanks on the coast road.
l'm looking for people who were with me.
Could your men have been among them?
lt sounds logical... We were in the coastal area.
ln the western sector... lt's possible.
Do you recognise me here?
No.
l don't recognise myself either.
Crossing the border at Rosh Hanikra
We took photos
We had time to fool around before going into action.
Good morning
Too much pain to carry on
Good morning
The landscape was beautiful
A few scattered houses... A really idyllic pastoral scene.
The slow drive allowed us to enjoy the scenery.
May your dreams come true
May your nightmares pass
Your existence is a blessing
ln a tank
A tank is a massive
lnside the tank
we were protected.
You are torn to pieces
You bleed to death in my arms
You are the love of my life
Oh
Tear me to pieces
l'm bleeding...
Suddenly our commander stopped responding. We lost contact.
- Was he beside you? - Yes.
l saw his head slumped forward.
l went inside and saw blood
The blood was coming from his neck.
- You were next in command? - Yes
But l didn't react immediately.
We just stayed in the tank without even thinking of firing back.
Two minutes later
Everyone hysterically tried to escape from the tank...
without weapons or anything...
Those who stayed inside
l ran as fast as l could
in zigzags towards the sea.
My only thought -
it's over
They'll be here any minute. All l can do is wait for the end.
I saw the buiIding from which they were shooting
l hoped he'd get closer.
I don't know why
l felt abandoned by our forces.
l imagined how my mother would react.
We're very close. l was always like her right hand.
l'm the only one who helps out at home.
Like the first-born son.
I took a peek. l saw them chatting
l wondered why they didn't notice me.
I peeked a few more times
that everyone had been killed in the attack.
l decided to wait until dark.
l had a good place to hide.
l don't know why
l didn't want to stay close to the shore
When l felt l was far enough out I started swimming south.
- How was the sea? - Really calm
l felt calm and at peace. Just me and the sea.
l felt safe
But l was still really afraid that...
that my strength would fail and l'd drown.
Or maybe someone would spot me and shoot at me
While swimming through this peacefuI water
l suddenly heard a loud noise.
l felt the water pulsating.
l felt the turbulent water enveloping me.
My body shook with fear.
l saw lights in the distance and l headed in that direction.
They might be lsraeli forces.
l kept swimming but felt my strength was dwindling.
l could barely move my limbs.
Sometimes I simpIy let the water carry me along.
l eventually reached the shore and started walking.
l heard voices speaking Hebrew on the two-way radio.
l knew...
that l had to get to them
To my amazement
After l got back to my regiment
l felt like...
like it was me who had abandoned my comrades.
l always felt that they regarded me as...
as someone who didn't help rescue his friends
as if l had fled the battlefield just to save my own skin.
l sometimes felt very uneasy.
I broke off contact with the families of the dead.
At first l visited their graves
l wanted to forget. l didn't want to relive those moments.
- Visiting the graves
l felt guilty standing at their graves.
As if l didn't do enough. l didn't do enough.
l wasn't the hero type who carries weapons and saves everyone's Iives.
That's not me. l'm not the type.
l bombed Sidon today
Amid the clouds of smoke at dawn
l almost went home in a coffin
l bombed Sidon today
One month after Ronnie Dayag swam back home safely
the army took the beach from which he had fIed.
They told us we'd soon attack Beirut and that we'd all die.
But on the beach
l had a hut made from banana leaves.
Thinking back
the smell of patchouIi oiI still makes me nauseous.
lt was really popular in the '80s.
For my roommate Frenkel
patchouli wasn't just a fragrance
Patchouli... How do you use it?
Show me.
You put a drop on your hand
This way your comrades always know you're there.
l remember my men saying to me
"Frenkel
So what do you do? Patchouli.
ln the dark
The scent is really strong
l still use it.
l bombed Beirut today
l bombed Beirut every day
lf l came close to death l couldn't say
l bombed Beirut every day
At the pull of a trigger
We can send strangers straight to Hell
Sure
lf l came close to death l couldn't say
l bombed Beirut every day
Our daily routine was this -
get up in the morning...
make breakfast in those frying pans
potted beef and eggs.
- On the beach. - On the beach.
Have a quick swim...
back into uniform
Someone shouted
l noticed a boy holding an RPG.
A kid.
Frenkel
Sure. From training camp
- Even there? - Yes
Good to know. Of course l was there.
ls it possible that l can't remember such a dramatic event?
We call them "dissociative events".
lt's when a person is in a situation but feels outside it.
l was once visited by a young man
l asked him in 1983
He replied
He said to himself
"shooting
He looked at everything as if through an imaginary camera.
Then something happened...
his "camera" broke.
He said that the situation turned traumatic for him
when they arrived in the vicinity of the stables in Beirut.
The Hippodrome.
He saw a huge number of carcasses
of slaughtered Arabian horses.
"lt broke my heart"
"to deserve such suffering?"
He couldn't handle seeing those dead and wounded horses.
He had used a mechanism to remain outside events
as if watching the war on film instead of participating.
This protected him.
Once pulled into the events
Horror surrounded him and he freaked out.
You told me earlier that you can't remember being in the orchard
where the boy with the RPG was.
Can you remember other things - like going home
chatting with friends
something that maybe reminds you of that time?
- Yes
l can remember every leave perfectly.
l remember when l was about ten
And everything came to a halt. All the fathers were at the front.
All the children sat with their mothers
behind closed blinds in the dark.
Just waiting for a plane to drop a bomb and kill them all.
No one even dreamed of going outside.
When l went home from Lebanon
l saw that life was carrying on normally.
My goal on leave was to get back with my girlfriend
She had dumped me the night before all of this started.
Remember how? Add some Sprite...
Ready?
Bottoms up!
The memories are coming back.
l've met people who served with me. l almost have the full picture.
- At what point? - The first day of the war
the siege of Beirut.
You remember that Yaeli dumped you a week before?
How do you know?
Didn't you know that l was in love with her for years?
No
lt's true.
What's wrong? That was 20 years ago.
lt's OK. l'm not angry.
At least you had your home
What home? What family?
You have no idea.
My father...
To comfort me
World War ll
Russian soldiers in Stalingrad
were given 48 hours leave only after one year at the front.
They got on a train
kissed their girlfriends on the platform
then had to get back on board to head back to the front.
Understand?
He thought it would comfort me. ln fact
After only 24 hours l was called back to duty.
A new trend started at that time - car bombs.
Still popular today.
They're a blast!
A real blast!
So I arrive at this villa on the outskirts of Beirut.
Everything is made of gold.
Fancy sinks
An officer sits in front of the TV. He doesn't look at me.
He keeps repeating...
Fast forward.
The Plumber Comes 2
- l'm here to check your plumbing. - Down here.
- Have you seen my tool? - Which tooI?
The big
Your pipes are so deep!
Fast forward.
Stop!
Hello. ls that your red Mercedes outside?
l'm busy servicing a customer!
He changes the tape and says...
We've received a tip-off about a red Mercedes.
- lt's coming to blow up your men. - So?
- Blow it up first. - Every red Mercedes?
Are you an idiot?
Did the Mercedes come?
We waited all night for the exploding Mercedes
for this impending disaster.
Then
Bashir is dead.
- Which Bashir? - Bashir Gemayel
the elected president of Lebanon.
A brother
Wake everyone up. You'll be in Beirut in two hours!
l don't remember much about the flight to Beirut
except that I was having obsessive thoughts about death.
Because my girlfriend Yaeli had dumped me the week before
death would be my revenge.
She would be ridden with guilt
for the rest of her life.
As l fantasised about my death
we approached Beirut.
A city with hotels
and people scurrying about.
We land at the international airport.
Our HercuIes army heIicopter lands next to jets from Air France
and British Airways.
I was excited like l was going on a trip abroad
excited all over.
At some point l just take off
and walk into the terminal.
lt felt as if l was on a leisure trip...
a sort of hallucination.
Like standing in a terminal
waiting to choose my destination.
ln front of that '80s departures board
l see the 14:10 flight to London
15:20 to Paris
16:00 to New York...
l wander through the terminal and see the duty-free shops -
jewellery
WhiIe I'm still on this trip
Through the window l see
that all the TWA and Air France planes are just bombed-out shells.
And the shops are empty
And the scheduIe board hasn't changed for months.
Then l start to hear sounds
l hear shelling in the city and bombing by the air force.
Slowly l begin to realise where l am
and I'm afraid of what will happen next.
We start walking from the airport to the city.
Tall high-rise hotels hover above us.
The sea is to one side.
We walk along a promenade towards a large junction.
Then we come under sniper fire from the upper fIoors of a hoteI.
We can't see where it's coming from or who is shooting.
A wounded soldier was lying at the junction but we couldn't get to him.
We were scared to death.
Then
that TV correspondent Ron Ben-Yishai suddenly turns up.
He's walking upright
Strolling along as if nothing's wrong
ln front of him
Trembling with fear
lt was a large junction.
One lane led directly into Hamra Street
to the West Beirut district of Hamra.
l remember the sizzling sound
They were firing masses of RPGs and it sounded like
a Native American arrow-shooting range.
Before an RPG explodes
You don't hear an explosion
just this hissing
During all this
women
and old people are watching as if it were a film.
They're shooting at us from all directions.
And we can't get across.
Throughout my military service l was a MAG shooter.
During my officer training
"You've used a MAG for so long
So they gave me a Galil.
And while they're shooting at us from all directions
I reaIise that I can't shoot with the Galil like l could before.
l missed the good old MAG that l was familiar with.
So l say to Erez
"Give me your MAG. l won't make it across with the Galil.
"Give me your MAG and we'll cross the street.
"l'll shoot better."
He says
"They're attacking us! Stop babbling and shoot!"
l finally realise that l must take drastic steps.
l grab him and say
"Listen
Whether an eternity orjust a minute...
there was Frenkel at the junction
with bullets flying past him in every direction.
lnstead of crossing the junction
l saw him dancing
He cursed the shooters
As if he wanted to show off his waItz amid the gunfire
with the posters of Bashir above his head.
And Bashir's followers
preparing their big revenge just 200 yards away
The Sabra and Shatila massacre.
l'm starting to remember.
l've met people
stories about myself.
l didn't want to believe them.
So
The day of the massacre. l can remember everything else.
l don't understand why people were so surprised
that the Phalangists carried out the massacre.
l knew all along how ruthless they were.
During the storming of Beirut we were in the slaughterhouse.
Where?
The slaughterhouse
where they took the Palestinians
lt was like being on an LSD trip.
They carried body parts of murdered Palestinians
preserved in jars of formaldehyde.
They had fingers
And always pictures of Bashir.
Bashir pendants
Bashir was to them what David Bowie was to me.
A star
l think they even felt an eroticism for him.
Totally erotic.
Their idol was about to become king. We were the ones going to crown him.
The next day he was murdered.
lt was obvious they'd avenge his death in some perverse way.
lt was as if their wife had been murdered.
This was about family honour
Why did you come back?
l'm still having these hallucinations about the massacre on the beach.
And you're there with me.
You're mad.
You're obsessed.
Beach? What are you talking about? Who was on the beach that night?
What beach?
l've reached a dead end.
l can't find anyone who was with me at the massacre.
No one who was with me
has any solid memories of the days of the massacre.
l only have this one vision.
And Carmi
- lt's still real. - lt's a vision.
- But it's yours. Shall l explain? - Yes.
What does the sea symbolise in dreams? Fear. Feelings.
The massacre frightens you
That doesn't help me much.
Your interest in the massacre developed long before it happened.
Your interest in the massacre stems from another massacre.
Your interest in those camps is actually about the "other" camps.
- Were your parents in camps? - Yes.
- Auschwitz? - Yes.
So the massacre has been with you since you were six.
You lived through the massacre and those camps.
Your only solution is to find out what really happened...
in Sabra and Shatila. Seek out people.
Find out what really happened
Get details and more details. That way...
then maybe you can find out where you were exactly
and what role you played.
On that day we were sent to a certain post.
lt was actually on a hill. This hill...
was opposite the western sector of the refugee camp.
From where I was
There was occasionaI shooting. We tried to locate them and retaliate.
The Christian Phalangist forces began to arrive.
ln full kit
took position behind tanks.
l was called for a briefing.
lt was in English.
- What was it about? - They told us that the Christians
would enter the camp and we would give them cover.
Once they had purged the camps
- Purged of what? - Palestinian Terrorists.
The next morning
The civilians were led out of the camps
in a long line.
The Phalangists watched on
and occasionally firing into the air.
There were women
and children walking in a line towards the stadium.
From inside in the tank
Did you think about it?
Not really
an announcement was made upon entering a camp.
Civilians were ordered out. Those remaining were considered rebels.
lt seemed quite natural to say to the residents
"lf you don't want to get hurt
On that day l drove to Docha
lt had an lsrael Defence Forces landing field.
On the way
They shouted with joy as they headed towards the airfield.
At the airfield l met a Colonel friend.
He said to me...
"Have you heard what's happening in the refugee camps?"
He had pointed to Sabra and Shatila.
"What's happening?" l asked.
"l didn't witness it myself
Palestinians were slaughtered. l heard they put them on trucks.
I was toId that crucifixes were carved on their chests.
There were wounded
They were put on trucks and taken to an unknown destination.
We saw a Phalangist soldier
taking an old man away.
At a certain point we heard shots.
We heard shots.
Then the soldier came out alone.
We asked him what had happened.
We couldn't hear him
We understood that he'd told the man to kneeI down before him.
When he refused
he shot him in the stomach and head.
Didn't you ever realise
that trucks were going in empty and coming out full
women and children were brought out and bulldozers went in?
That maybe a massacre was taking place?
Did you wonder why you didn't realise earlier?
Yes
l realised something was happening only when my men told me.
From the top of their tanks
they started shouting
They claimed that people were lined up against the wall and shot.
So l called my commanding officer.
l told him what l heard was going on in the camps.
He said
As far as l was concerned
Where was the operations room
About 100 yards away. On top of a very tall building.
- How tall? - Tall enough to see everything.
They surely had a better view than l did.
l didn't want to walk around at night
to my place in Bahabda
Micha Friedman was with me. We decided to make dinner.
Micha invited the guys from the regiment of the 211th Brigade.
During the meaI
He said
"my men say there's a massacre going on in the camps."
He mentioned one or two incidents
saying a family was seen shot.
l asked him again
"l didn't"
"The officers sitting here did
As soon as they left
l knocked back a whisky and phoned Defence Minister Arik Sharon.
At his ranch.
Arik was half-asleep.
l said
"They're slaughtering Palestinians. We have to put a stop to it."
He asked me
"No"
"OK"
"Thanks for bringing it to my attention."
That was all.
You'd normally say
He said
Well
lt's amazing. A massacre took place
it was carried out by Christian Phalangists.
All around were several circles of our soldiers.
Every circle had some information.
The first one had the most
They didn't realise they were witnessing a genocide.
What circle were you in?
ln the second or third.
What did you do?
We stood on a roof and saw the sky was lit up.
- With what? - Flares.
Flares that must have helped them do what they were doing.
Did you fire the flares?
ls that important?
Does it make any difference if l fired them
or if l just saw the flares that helped people shoot others?
ln your state of mind at that time
You can't remember the massacre because in your opinion
the murderers and those around them are the same circle.
You felt guilty at the age of 19
unwillingly
You were there firing flares but you didn't carry out the massacre.
l woke up at 5 or 5:30
the whole team.
Then l drove to Sabra and Shatila.
When l arrived there...
what a mess!
You know that picture from the Warsaw ghetto?
The one with the kid holding his hands in the air?
That's just how the long line of women
old people and children looked.
l thought about going to Brigadier Amos's headquarters
but as I was Ieaving
He drove to the head of the convoy.
His angry gestures forced them to stop.
And that was the end of it.
The Phalangists withdrew back up the street.
The women and children returned to the camp.
- The Palestinians? - Yes.
l said to my men
"With those women and children.
"We'll see what happened in there."
lnside the camp we saw a huge amount of rubble.
My eye caught a hand
A chiId's hand
l looked a bit closer and saw curls.
A head of curls covered in dust. It was hard to make out.
But it was a head
A hand and a head.
My own daughter was the same age as that little girl.
She had curly hair too.
The Palestinians in refugee camps have houses with courtyards.
These courtyards were full of bodies of women and children.
The young men had been shot first.
Then the rest of the family was dealt with.
We entered one alley
the width of a man and a half.
That alley was full...
Piled up to the height of a man's chest
with the bodies of young men.
That's when I became aware of the results of the massacre.