1 00:00:31,251 --> 00:00:33,001 Your attention please 2 00:00:33,001 --> 00:00:36,126 This film has been classified as vulgar comedy 3 00:00:36,126 --> 00:00:39,709 It contains high amounts of coarse language, adult themes, 4 00:00:39,709 --> 00:00:43,459 political incorrectness, discrimination and sexual situations 5 00:00:43,459 --> 00:00:45,834 As such, this film has been rated 6 00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:48,209 one level higher than Parental Guidance: 7 00:00:48,209 --> 00:00:50,417 Parental Censure 8 00:00:52,042 --> 00:00:54,292 Any persons who are unable to accept these themes 9 00:00:54,292 --> 00:00:56,959 will be granted 10 seconds of screen time 10 00:00:56,959 --> 00:00:59,126 to leave the cinema 11 00:01:10,876 --> 00:01:13,584 As a result of seeing this film 12 00:01:13,584 --> 00:01:14,751 If any persons develop symptoms of 13 00:01:14,751 --> 00:01:15,542 emotional distress 14 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:16,334 illness 15 00:01:16,334 --> 00:01:17,292 unhappiness 16 00:01:17,542 --> 00:01:18,334 or erectile dysfunction 17 00:01:18,626 --> 00:01:20,584 the film and the cinema would like to make clear that 18 00:01:21,167 --> 00:01:23,042 it's none of our fucking problem! 19 00:03:43,084 --> 00:03:45,584 Aiyah sorry, sorry, sorry! 20 00:03:45,584 --> 00:03:46,709 I didn't expect you to be so punctual 21 00:03:46,709 --> 00:03:49,376 I thought most film people are always late 22 00:03:49,376 --> 00:03:51,959 Personally, I am usually pretty on-time 23 00:03:52,417 --> 00:03:53,417 Not just during film shoots 24 00:03:53,417 --> 00:03:55,084 Even going to the cinema, I'm never late 25 00:03:55,709 --> 00:03:56,626 When you're watching a movie 26 00:03:56,626 --> 00:03:58,626 if you're late, you just miss a bit 27 00:03:58,626 --> 00:04:00,209 But when you walk to your seat 28 00:04:00,209 --> 00:04:02,292 you're blocking other people's view, asshole 29 00:04:04,001 --> 00:04:06,334 Let's start when the students are all here 30 00:04:06,334 --> 00:04:08,167 Isn't he cool? Arriving later than the professor 31 00:04:08,167 --> 00:04:10,959 OK, everyone. All here? 32 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:12,667 Then let's start 33 00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:15,917 I'm very pleased to have here with us today a film producer 34 00:04:15,917 --> 00:04:18,334 My old friend Mr. To Wai-cheung 35 00:04:18,334 --> 00:04:19,792 Please give him a warm welcome 36 00:04:23,167 --> 00:04:26,959 Oh, and please remember to turn off your cellphones 37 00:04:26,959 --> 00:04:28,459 don't disturb our little get-together 38 00:04:28,834 --> 00:04:30,959 Ah To - you don't mind me calling you that, right? 39 00:04:30,959 --> 00:04:31,876 Love it 40 00:04:32,459 --> 00:04:34,959 We have many students here from different departments 41 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:38,251 but they're all interested in the subject of "producing" 42 00:04:38,251 --> 00:04:40,959 However, theory and practice are usually different Right 43 00:04:40,959 --> 00:04:43,334 So we hope you can share your experience with us 44 00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:45,376 We're recording this lecture, ok? 45 00:04:45,376 --> 00:04:46,126 Not a problem 46 00:04:46,126 --> 00:04:49,417 Alright! Let me ask the first question then 47 00:04:49,417 --> 00:04:53,042 Exactly what kind of work does a producer do? 48 00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,417 Professor, that's a good question 49 00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:58,501 Many people want to know that 50 00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:01,084 If you want to know what a film producer does 51 00:05:01,084 --> 00:05:02,209 then you must first understand 52 00:05:02,501 --> 00:05:06,042 his role in a film production 53 00:05:07,251 --> 00:05:09,709 Professor, may I ask you a biological question? 54 00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:11,459 Sure! What is the point of having pubes? 55 00:05:12,459 --> 00:05:13,126 Excuse me? 56 00:05:13,584 --> 00:05:14,542 Pubes! 57 00:05:15,959 --> 00:05:18,084 There are a lot of students here... 58 00:05:18,542 --> 00:05:20,459 Oh, yes. Sorry 59 00:05:21,042 --> 00:05:23,251 Forgot that there are girls here too Yes 60 00:05:23,251 --> 00:05:24,501 Let me make it clearer 61 00:05:24,501 --> 00:05:25,959 What is the pubic hair's function? 62 00:05:27,292 --> 00:05:28,334 Don't say you don't know 63 00:05:28,334 --> 00:05:30,959 Pubic hair is very strange 64 00:05:30,959 --> 00:05:32,959 It looks ugly and sheds easily 65 00:05:32,959 --> 00:05:34,959 If you don't let it breathe, it'll stink 66 00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:36,959 If you're competing for Miss Hong Kong 67 00:05:37,126 --> 00:05:38,959 when you get to the swimsuit event 68 00:05:38,959 --> 00:05:41,459 some pubic strands may stick out of your bikini 69 00:05:41,459 --> 00:05:42,959 so embarrassing 70 00:05:42,959 --> 00:05:44,459 So how can something so ugly 71 00:05:44,459 --> 00:05:46,209 still serve a purpose? 72 00:05:46,459 --> 00:05:47,084 It does 73 00:05:48,001 --> 00:05:50,209 During sexual intercourse 74 00:05:50,209 --> 00:05:52,959 the bodies collide against one another 75 00:05:53,876 --> 00:05:56,001 which then generates friction 76 00:05:56,001 --> 00:05:58,501 The function of the pubic hair 77 00:05:58,501 --> 00:06:00,334 is to ease that friction 78 00:06:00,334 --> 00:06:01,584 Try shaving it off 79 00:06:01,584 --> 00:06:04,959 you'll find that it really hurts 80 00:06:04,959 --> 00:06:06,959 Producers then are responsible for 81 00:06:06,959 --> 00:06:11,292 easing the friction between people 82 00:06:11,292 --> 00:06:14,792 A normal producer is like a patch of straggly pubes 83 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,959 A good producer is like a great thick bush of pubic hair 84 00:06:21,209 --> 00:06:24,417 So my parents paid for me to study for four years 85 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,542 just to learn how to become like pubic hair? 86 00:06:26,876 --> 00:06:27,876 Exactly! 87 00:06:27,876 --> 00:06:29,084 Not really 88 00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,792 You'll also get a diploma out of it too 89 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:33,876 Let's get back to the subject then 90 00:06:33,876 --> 00:06:35,167 I have been talking about the subject 91 00:06:36,334 --> 00:06:38,959 Besides that handful of... 92 00:06:38,959 --> 00:06:41,334 I mean, producers also work in other areas 93 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:44,251 For example, how do you find investors? 94 00:06:44,959 --> 00:06:46,376 That's another good question! 95 00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:48,959 Finding money is very important 96 00:06:48,959 --> 00:06:50,126 Once you have money 97 00:06:50,126 --> 00:06:51,751 you can fool around 98 00:06:51,751 --> 00:06:52,917 friction will then turn up 99 00:06:52,917 --> 00:06:55,959 So those thick pubes will come in handy again! 100 00:06:55,959 --> 00:06:59,459 Can we not always use pubic hair as an example? 101 00:06:59,459 --> 00:07:01,834 I'm sorry. I only used it twice 102 00:07:02,084 --> 00:07:03,959 This is an institution for higher learning 103 00:07:03,959 --> 00:07:05,959 Why don't we talk about 104 00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:08,417 is it hard to find funding nowadays? 105 00:07:08,834 --> 00:07:10,209 There are many ways to find money 106 00:07:10,209 --> 00:07:12,542 Having a big studio boss is one way 107 00:07:12,959 --> 00:07:16,167 brands promote their products using "soft sell" 108 00:07:16,167 --> 00:07:17,501 That's right, class! 109 00:07:17,501 --> 00:07:19,501 I know lots about product placement 110 00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:20,959 Let me explain it to you 111 00:07:20,959 --> 00:07:22,709 Product placement is now very popular 112 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:23,834 During a movie 113 00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:26,584 brands promote their products using "soft sell" 114 00:07:26,584 --> 00:07:28,834 then the advertising is paid to the film company 115 00:07:28,834 --> 00:07:29,917 It's like killing two birds with one stone 116 00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:31,917 What's your question? 117 00:07:32,126 --> 00:07:35,959 Most product placements these days are too obvious 118 00:07:35,959 --> 00:07:36,959 As a producer 119 00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:38,709 do you accept money from anyone? 120 00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:39,959 In principle, yes 121 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,959 But you must understand 122 00:07:41,959 --> 00:07:44,292 clients want their product onscreen 123 00:07:44,292 --> 00:07:45,959 for the whole film 124 00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:48,251 but the director doesn't want even a single shot 125 00:07:48,667 --> 00:07:51,376 As the pube...l mean producer 126 00:07:51,376 --> 00:07:53,584 I must mediate between the two sides 127 00:07:53,584 --> 00:07:54,792 You make yourself sound so smart 128 00:07:54,792 --> 00:07:56,376 but can you really appease both side? 129 00:07:59,626 --> 00:08:00,417 Hey! Good morning 130 00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,292 What's up with you? 131 00:08:04,334 --> 00:08:06,709 The traffic in Central is so bad in the morning 132 00:08:06,709 --> 00:08:07,959 It's crazy man! 133 00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:11,042 I didn't think that you'd show up to a presentation 134 00:08:11,042 --> 00:08:12,959 while wearing slippers! 135 00:08:14,292 --> 00:08:15,667 I have yoga class tonight 136 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,959 This way it's easier for me to change clothes 137 00:08:17,959 --> 00:08:20,959 If you don't like it, I can go home and... 138 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:21,959 You're in a rush 139 00:08:22,667 --> 00:08:24,751 Why don't I just go and buy a new pair 140 00:08:24,751 --> 00:08:26,042 That store's shoes are ok 141 00:08:26,876 --> 00:08:30,709 Oh shit! I forgot to bring my VIP... 142 00:08:30,709 --> 00:08:32,959 Without my VIP card, it means no discount 143 00:08:32,959 --> 00:08:35,042 Hey, VIP. Why don't you just disappear 144 00:08:35,042 --> 00:08:37,334 Please just give me the director's synopsis 145 00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:41,417 Hold this. He e-mailed it to me last night 146 00:08:41,417 --> 00:08:43,959 So I saved everything into this... 147 00:08:43,959 --> 00:08:46,542 Hello Kitty USB 148 00:08:47,251 --> 00:08:50,042 Shall I go over the details with you first? 149 00:08:50,042 --> 00:08:52,667 No need. Is it similar to the last version? 150 00:08:52,959 --> 00:08:53,417 Just tiny changes 151 00:08:53,417 --> 00:08:54,292 Fine. I'll present it myself 152 00:08:55,251 --> 00:08:57,959 Nowadays, soft product placement 153 00:08:57,959 --> 00:09:01,001 for a multinational corporation's brand building 154 00:09:01,001 --> 00:09:02,251 is especially important 155 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:06,959 Union, as the world's 4th largest insurance company 156 00:09:06,959 --> 00:09:08,959 it is even more crucial 157 00:09:08,959 --> 00:09:10,667 to build an international image 158 00:09:13,917 --> 00:09:16,542 In this story, the director is trying to present 159 00:09:16,542 --> 00:09:19,959 Union's status and significance in the global community 160 00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:22,167 Imagine Jay Chou as part of your company's insurance staff 161 00:09:22,626 --> 00:09:25,209 with a happy family and good career prospects 162 00:09:25,209 --> 00:09:26,584 Just think about it 163 00:09:26,584 --> 00:09:30,542 Jay Chou. Such a suave guy 164 00:09:31,334 --> 00:09:34,209 wandering back and forth in front of your company logo 165 00:09:34,209 --> 00:09:35,959 As a female audience 166 00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:38,959 how can you resist buying insurance from Union? 167 00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:42,334 That's right, he accidently finds out that 168 00:09:42,334 --> 00:09:45,959 the company every year has over 169 00:09:45,959 --> 00:09:47,209 USD 10 million missing... 170 00:09:48,209 --> 00:09:50,292 Under Jay Chou's investigation 171 00:09:50,292 --> 00:09:54,584 he finds that this is connected to a huge international conspiracy 172 00:09:55,251 --> 00:09:56,876 It turns out that your company 173 00:09:56,876 --> 00:09:58,667 every year sends this huge amount of money 174 00:09:58,667 --> 00:10:02,584 via an offshore account directly to... 175 00:10:05,876 --> 00:10:06,751 Al-Qaeda? 176 00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:11,501 Yes, al-Qaeda 177 00:10:12,751 --> 00:10:13,626 Because“. 178 00:10:13,959 --> 00:10:16,959 If the planes are covered by Union insurance 179 00:10:16,959 --> 00:10:18,709 and accidents occur and the planes crash 180 00:10:19,334 --> 00:10:23,126 your company...would ask the terrorist organisation 181 00:10:23,751 --> 00:10:25,959 to confess to the attacks 182 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:29,792 Since terrorist attacks aren't covered by insurance 183 00:10:29,792 --> 00:10:31,917 therefore Union can then 184 00:10:31,917 --> 00:10:35,792 reject all claims from the victims' families 185 00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:39,376 Please... Everybody calm down 186 00:10:39,376 --> 00:10:42,084 Not everyone in the company is bad 187 00:10:42,084 --> 00:10:43,959 only the management 188 00:10:43,959 --> 00:10:46,376 To expose the truth, Jay Chou 189 00:10:46,376 --> 00:10:49,209 continues his investigation until he's stopped by the top brass 190 00:10:49,209 --> 00:10:51,292 In order to stop Jay 191 00:10:52,959 --> 00:10:54,792 Oh motherfucker 192 00:10:55,584 --> 00:10:57,959 They...even murder his wife and family 193 00:11:03,001 --> 00:11:05,959 And their insurance records 194 00:11:05,959 --> 00:11:09,542 are all confiscated and deleted by management 195 00:11:09,959 --> 00:11:11,501 To fight for justice 196 00:11:11,501 --> 00:11:13,126 and for his family's insurance claim 197 00:11:13,126 --> 00:11:16,126 he confronts Union's management 198 00:11:16,959 --> 00:11:19,167 and exposes the plot to the world 199 00:11:22,042 --> 00:11:23,042 Fine. I won't try to justify this 200 00:11:24,959 --> 00:11:26,084 How about this 201 00:11:26,084 --> 00:11:28,209 I promise that your company logo 202 00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:30,334 will appear in this film for at least 10 minutes 203 00:11:30,334 --> 00:11:31,292 Sorry, sorry 204 00:11:31,292 --> 00:11:32,751 That doesn't work! 205 00:11:32,751 --> 00:11:34,084 It means you failed 206 00:11:34,542 --> 00:11:35,876 Indeed, it failed 207 00:11:36,501 --> 00:11:40,334 But each failure paves the way for success 208 00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:43,959 As a producer, you must be able to endure constant rejection 209 00:11:44,417 --> 00:11:44,959 Next 210 00:11:45,917 --> 00:11:46,959 What you're saying is 211 00:11:46,959 --> 00:11:49,126 being a producer is all about bragging 212 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:50,459 There's no practical work 213 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:51,501 You can say that 214 00:11:51,959 --> 00:11:53,959 But if anyone who brags can be a producer 215 00:11:53,959 --> 00:11:55,501 then Professor Cheng wouldn't be here 216 00:11:58,001 --> 00:12:00,376 It's a tough world outside 217 00:12:00,376 --> 00:12:02,417 That's right. Since the stakes are so high 218 00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:03,417 that's why a producer 219 00:12:03,417 --> 00:12:06,209 should be able to sacrifice himself for cinema 220 00:12:06,209 --> 00:12:07,126 You make it sound so good 221 00:12:07,834 --> 00:12:09,959 So what have you sacrificed for cinema? 222 00:12:10,209 --> 00:12:13,126 You want to know what I have sacrificed for cinema? 223 00:12:14,959 --> 00:12:17,792 Can you please tell the staff to stop recording? 224 00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:19,417 If you stop recording, I'll tell you 225 00:12:20,084 --> 00:12:21,584 Turn it off, turn it off 226 00:12:24,959 --> 00:12:27,417 You really want to know what I've sacrificed for cinema? 227 00:12:27,917 --> 00:12:28,959 OK, I'll tell you now 228 00:12:28,959 --> 00:12:30,126 fucking scare your pants off! 229 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:31,959 This is ridiculous! 230 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,959 Why didn't you tell me beforehand? 231 00:12:34,959 --> 00:12:36,959 I did, I told you this morning 232 00:12:36,959 --> 00:12:38,959 You said he only changed it a little bit 233 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,459 Why is your work quality nosediving? 234 00:12:43,042 --> 00:12:43,959 You're driving me nuts 235 00:12:43,959 --> 00:12:45,042 Was anyone looking for me? 236 00:12:46,501 --> 00:12:48,501 Was anyone looking for me? 237 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,459 Who? 238 00:12:50,376 --> 00:12:50,959 Fat Wei 239 00:12:50,959 --> 00:12:51,959 What did he say? 240 00:12:53,459 --> 00:12:55,709 You asshole, the cheque bounced three fucking times 241 00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:56,751 Lawyer Tsang called 242 00:12:56,751 --> 00:12:57,876 Got it. Next 243 00:12:57,876 --> 00:12:58,709 Lawyer Tsang called 244 00:12:58,709 --> 00:13:00,209 Who is Lawyer Tsang? 245 00:13:00,501 --> 00:13:01,584 Your ex-wife 246 00:13:03,251 --> 00:13:05,626 You haven't paid alimony for three months 247 00:13:05,626 --> 00:13:06,917 If you don't pay it immediately 248 00:13:06,917 --> 00:13:08,584 don't even think about seeing your daughter 249 00:13:08,792 --> 00:13:09,626 Anything else? 250 00:13:10,126 --> 00:13:12,251 Lui Wing-shing called you from Guangzhou 251 00:13:12,501 --> 00:13:13,042 Really? 252 00:13:23,959 --> 00:13:26,834 Brother Wing-shing, looking for me? What's up? 253 00:13:26,834 --> 00:13:27,959 What are you up to? 254 00:13:28,584 --> 00:13:30,959 Nothing, still working on Blackie Tak's action film 255 00:13:30,959 --> 00:13:33,126 What? Still Blackie Tak, really? 256 00:13:33,126 --> 00:13:35,292 Hey, I know a boss in Guangxi 257 00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:36,334 Are you interested in a chat? 258 00:13:36,459 --> 00:13:38,459 Guangxi? Did he invest in movies before? 259 00:13:38,459 --> 00:13:41,542 Nope. Guangxi gangster. Triad head 260 00:13:41,542 --> 00:13:43,459 Got rich by smuggling rare golden turtles 261 00:13:43,459 --> 00:13:45,251 You're my sworn brother 262 00:13:45,251 --> 00:13:46,542 Why don't we give it a shot 263 00:13:46,542 --> 00:13:48,334 Do you have time to come up? 264 00:13:48,334 --> 00:13:50,709 If we can close the deal, he has cash 265 00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:51,751 Does he really have money? 266 00:13:52,959 --> 00:13:56,126 Bro, it's golden turtles, not wet market chicken 267 00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:57,167 Of course he's loaded! 268 00:13:59,959 --> 00:14:01,501 All these are yours 269 00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:03,959 Thank you so much 270 00:14:04,376 --> 00:14:06,417 When did you start running grey imports? 271 00:14:07,209 --> 00:14:08,167 Not really 272 00:14:08,584 --> 00:14:10,292 I just buy them to please the bosses 273 00:14:10,292 --> 00:14:11,251 How can I carry with just two hands? 274 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:11,959 True 275 00:14:11,959 --> 00:14:14,167 You have no idea how in demand milk powder is 276 00:14:15,084 --> 00:14:17,959 Hey, is your boss really trustworthy? 277 00:14:17,959 --> 00:14:20,959 Asking us to meet here? Seems suspicious 278 00:14:21,542 --> 00:14:23,459 Hey, don't worry. We're mates 279 00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:24,959 I know he's awesome 280 00:14:24,959 --> 00:14:26,584 Really? How did you meet him? 281 00:14:26,584 --> 00:14:27,792 At GaGa 282 00:14:27,792 --> 00:14:30,417 Guangzhou's GaGa Bar? Lots of girls there 283 00:14:30,417 --> 00:14:32,209 Yeah, but he still tried to compete with me 284 00:14:32,209 --> 00:14:33,667 He hit me over a girl 285 00:14:33,667 --> 00:14:35,251 But we ended with a friendship dinner 286 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:36,209 Isn't he awesome? 287 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,167 Shing! Brother Tyrannosaurus 288 00:14:38,334 --> 00:14:39,959 Brother Tyrannosaurus 289 00:14:39,959 --> 00:14:40,959 Let me introduce 290 00:14:40,959 --> 00:14:42,959 Sit! Sit! Sit! 291 00:14:43,876 --> 00:14:46,251 This is our Hong Kong movie producer, To Wai-cheung 292 00:14:46,251 --> 00:14:47,084 Big Producer 293 00:14:47,084 --> 00:14:47,959 Nice to meet you 294 00:14:47,959 --> 00:14:51,042 I'm sorry. I should have gone to pick you up today 295 00:14:51,042 --> 00:14:53,959 but one of my enemies was just publicly executed 296 00:14:54,834 --> 00:14:56,251 See? He's dressed so smart today 297 00:14:56,709 --> 00:14:58,792 Of course! How can you not dress up for an execution 298 00:14:59,876 --> 00:15:02,584 Hey, let's not mention these 299 00:15:02,959 --> 00:15:05,001 the facade may seem shabby here 300 00:15:05,001 --> 00:15:09,042 But the best delicacies in Guangxi are here 301 00:15:09,334 --> 00:15:10,792 Let me order the best food for you 302 00:15:11,751 --> 00:15:14,376 Ho, tell the chef to bring out the dishes 303 00:15:16,126 --> 00:15:17,167 Big Producer 304 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:18,959 Here in Beihai 305 00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:21,126 we don't go for those karaoke 306 00:15:21,126 --> 00:15:23,459 or saunas or massages 307 00:15:23,751 --> 00:15:25,084 We go straight to the point 308 00:15:26,042 --> 00:15:27,542 So let's give you a warm welcome 309 00:15:27,542 --> 00:15:29,959 Don't say anything. Have some tonic first 310 00:15:30,876 --> 00:15:32,959 then it's time for fun 311 00:15:32,959 --> 00:15:33,959 Fun! 312 00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:36,376 Since you got all the way here 313 00:15:36,917 --> 00:15:38,667 it means you're my friend 314 00:15:38,667 --> 00:15:40,042 Obedience is better than politeness 315 00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:44,334 Cheers! Then let's drink up and be friends 316 00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:46,042 Sure, sure.Thank you, Brother Tyrannosaurus 317 00:15:46,042 --> 00:15:47,334 After tonight 318 00:15:47,334 --> 00:15:48,667 we'll be brothers-in-law 319 00:15:50,834 --> 00:15:52,917 Cheers! Cheers! Thank you, Brother Tyrannosaurus 320 00:15:52,917 --> 00:15:54,542 Thank you, thank you Cheers! Cheers! 321 00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:55,334 Cheers! 322 00:15:56,459 --> 00:15:56,959 Cheers! 323 00:15:57,417 --> 00:15:59,167 Can you explain what these dishes are? 324 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,667 Let me introduce them to you. It must be your first time 325 00:16:03,042 --> 00:16:05,376 This is braised rabbit head 326 00:16:06,334 --> 00:16:07,751 This is deep fried frog 327 00:16:08,209 --> 00:16:09,792 Ah, this one is fucking awesome 328 00:16:10,959 --> 00:16:14,959 A deep fried family of field mice the father, mother and the off springs 329 00:16:15,251 --> 00:16:16,334 Eat the mother first 330 00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:21,292 This one's braised soft-shell turtle 331 00:16:21,959 --> 00:16:23,959 Look at it! The head looks just like you 332 00:16:25,376 --> 00:16:27,334 Just kidding! Let's have some soup! 333 00:16:27,751 --> 00:16:28,917 Let's have some soup! OK! 334 00:16:31,751 --> 00:16:34,751 Not bad. This is chestnut soup Yes, vegetables 335 00:16:34,751 --> 00:16:39,292 What chestnut? It's bull's eye. It's good for you! 336 00:16:40,251 --> 00:16:43,209 Ah here's the main dish 337 00:16:43,209 --> 00:16:46,334 It's called the dragon-tiger-phoenix delight 338 00:16:47,459 --> 00:16:48,459 Fucking amazing 339 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,084 What does the dragon-tiger-phoenix refer to? 340 00:16:52,667 --> 00:16:54,001 Snake, cat and chicken 341 00:16:55,167 --> 00:16:58,501 Woah, cat? I can't do it 342 00:16:59,209 --> 00:17:01,292 Hey, when in Rome, do as the Romans do 343 00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:06,917 I fucking told you basket case so many fucking times 344 00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:10,084 Don't fucking disgrace me in front of my fucking guests 345 00:17:10,084 --> 00:17:11,959 Why the fuck are you always fucking up like this? 346 00:17:11,959 --> 00:17:12,959 Am I fucking right? 347 00:17:13,376 --> 00:17:16,251 When we have guests,always fucking let them pick first 348 00:17:16,251 --> 00:17:17,959 What the fuck did I tell you before? 349 00:17:18,376 --> 00:17:19,542 I'm so fucking sorry, Big Brother 350 00:17:20,501 --> 00:17:22,709 Why say that shit to me? 351 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:23,959 Say it to Big Producer 352 00:17:24,876 --> 00:17:25,959 I'm so fucking sorry 353 00:17:25,959 --> 00:17:28,376 No problem. Let's continue 354 00:17:28,792 --> 00:17:30,959 No way. This is the rule 355 00:17:31,167 --> 00:17:32,959 You're our guest. You first 356 00:17:35,251 --> 00:17:37,667 Actually I don't eat much 357 00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:39,709 You're fucking making us lose face 358 00:17:39,709 --> 00:17:41,251 Big Brother ordered this especially for you 359 00:17:41,251 --> 00:17:42,959 You want us to fucking lose face? 360 00:17:43,042 --> 00:17:47,209 Of course not. It's just that I need to drive later 361 00:17:47,209 --> 00:17:49,959 These dishes must have been cooked with wine 362 00:17:49,959 --> 00:17:51,334 I get drunk easily 363 00:17:51,334 --> 00:17:53,209 What are you fucking scared of? 364 00:17:53,334 --> 00:17:57,042 If you get drunk and hit someone 365 00:17:57,042 --> 00:17:59,959 just say you know me, end of story 366 00:18:00,542 --> 00:18:04,167 Of course, better to not run over anyone too famous 367 00:18:05,917 --> 00:18:08,126 I told you he's powerful in Guangxi 368 00:18:08,126 --> 00:18:09,959 You can't get out of it. 369 00:18:12,417 --> 00:18:14,959 Take some I'll try a little 370 00:18:33,626 --> 00:18:35,542 Tastes real gamey! 371 00:18:36,126 --> 00:18:37,959 You motherfucker! 372 00:18:39,001 --> 00:18:41,459 You fucking want Big Brother to lose face? 373 00:18:41,459 --> 00:18:43,501 I'm just not used to eating these 374 00:18:43,501 --> 00:18:47,251 We common people just eat common food 375 00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:48,042 Is there anything more normal to eat? 376 00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:53,959 Big Producer isn't used to eating these. Don't force him 377 00:18:54,626 --> 00:18:55,792 Do you eat cow? 378 00:18:55,876 --> 00:18:57,834 Cow? Great! 379 00:18:57,834 --> 00:18:59,459 I love beef! 380 00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:03,459 Tell the chef to cook my signature dish 381 00:19:03,751 --> 00:19:05,584 Cheers! Brother Tyrannosaurus 382 00:19:05,584 --> 00:19:07,084 I'm so sorry 383 00:19:07,084 --> 00:19:09,209 Sorry, Brother Wah Tao. Sorry, brothers 384 00:19:09,209 --> 00:19:10,959 Cheers! Quit talking bullshit 385 00:19:12,501 --> 00:19:13,709 It's truly delicious 386 00:19:13,959 --> 00:19:16,459 Hong Kong doesn't have beef this good 387 00:19:17,001 --> 00:19:19,126 So smooth and so soft 388 00:19:19,126 --> 00:19:20,959 Not too tough and not too rough 389 00:19:20,959 --> 00:19:23,209 And I never knew preserved vegetable tastes 390 00:19:23,209 --> 00:19:24,334 so good with beef 391 00:19:24,334 --> 00:19:27,417 The texture is sticky but it's easy to eat 392 00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:30,126 No tendons. Better than those in Kowloon City 393 00:19:30,584 --> 00:19:33,959 What part of the cow is it? 394 00:19:33,959 --> 00:19:37,376 Is it the neck or the cheek? 395 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,959 It's...cow bliss 396 00:19:39,959 --> 00:19:41,959 Cow bliss? What does that mean... 397 00:19:41,959 --> 00:19:43,959 Cow bliss is cow vagina 398 00:19:43,959 --> 00:19:45,959 You can't always order it. But our timing is just right 399 00:19:46,417 --> 00:19:47,417 Think about it 400 00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:50,959 one cow only has one vagina. It reduces once you cook it 401 00:19:50,959 --> 00:19:54,751 So guess how many cows you need to cook just one dish? 402 00:19:54,751 --> 00:19:57,959 Yeah. Lucky that we have Brother Tyrannosaurus here today 403 00:19:57,959 --> 00:19:59,126 Otherwise 404 00:19:59,126 --> 00:20:01,501 there'd be more preserved vegetables than vaginae 405 00:20:04,292 --> 00:20:06,542 Still not fucking giving face to my boss? 406 00:20:06,542 --> 00:20:07,459 Drink it all! 407 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,084 If you don't fucking finish it, don't talk to me 408 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:20,667 Brother Tyrannosaurus, it's my fault 409 00:20:21,834 --> 00:20:22,417 I'll drink! 410 00:20:32,792 --> 00:20:34,417 It's alright! It's alright! 411 00:20:34,959 --> 00:20:40,251 That's good. We've all been getting too worked up 412 00:20:40,709 --> 00:20:43,292 Let's enjoy mule pussy after dinner. How about that? 413 00:20:47,501 --> 00:20:48,959 What is "mule pussy"? 414 00:20:49,584 --> 00:20:50,959 Never heard of it 415 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,626 But you can tell from what thay say 416 00:20:53,626 --> 00:20:55,709 they're pussy crazy, so they should be dependable 417 00:20:56,042 --> 00:20:59,792 Brother Tyrannosaurus. We Hong Kongers are ignorant 418 00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:02,292 What is "mule pussy"? 419 00:21:03,042 --> 00:21:05,542 You don't understand Cantonese? 420 00:21:05,542 --> 00:21:07,792 Mule pussy is the pussy of a mule 421 00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:09,709 How can that be? 422 00:21:10,167 --> 00:21:12,917 "Dragon-tiger-phoenix" means snake, cat and chicken 423 00:21:13,251 --> 00:21:14,959 "Cow bliss" is cow's vagina 424 00:21:15,417 --> 00:21:17,792 How the fuck can "mule pussy" mean mule's pussy? 425 00:21:17,792 --> 00:21:18,959 Why not? 426 00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:21,959 Big Brother. It took us half a day to find it 427 00:21:22,459 --> 00:21:24,876 Hey, come in. You're so damn late 428 00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:26,792 If you really know how to fuck 429 00:21:26,792 --> 00:21:28,626 then you'd know that mule pussy is the best 430 00:21:28,626 --> 00:21:30,292 I didn't touch my girl for ages afterwards 431 00:21:30,292 --> 00:21:33,209 It's true 432 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:34,667 I didn't touch my girl for ages afterwards 433 00:21:39,042 --> 00:21:40,376 Why did you take so fucking long? 434 00:21:40,376 --> 00:21:42,084 Big Brother, the mule was easy to find 435 00:21:42,084 --> 00:21:44,626 But I thought of hanging a corsage on it to celebrate 436 00:21:45,042 --> 00:21:45,959 It's so hard to find a corsage! 437 00:21:46,334 --> 00:21:47,376 Which one would you like? 438 00:21:49,167 --> 00:21:51,251 You fucking asshole. Don't push me any more 439 00:21:51,251 --> 00:21:53,292 The whole night you forced me to eat all this shit 440 00:21:55,167 --> 00:21:57,626 You want me to eat cow's vagina? Fine 441 00:21:57,626 --> 00:22:03,001 But when I'm drunk you tell me to go fuck animals?! 442 00:22:03,001 --> 00:22:05,959 I'll kill anyone who tells me I should go fuck a mule! 443 00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,709 I've been putting up with you all night 444 00:22:09,917 --> 00:22:12,959 Don't think you're so special 445 00:22:12,959 --> 00:22:14,584 just because you've made movies 446 00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:16,209 I greeted you with exotic dishes 447 00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:17,959 and you didn't appreciate it. Fine 448 00:22:17,959 --> 00:22:19,209 You wanted to eat beef 449 00:22:19,209 --> 00:22:23,959 I ordered beef and you still didn't appreciate. Fine 450 00:22:24,251 --> 00:22:26,501 I treated you with sincerity 451 00:22:26,501 --> 00:22:28,834 but you made me lose face in front of my men 452 00:22:28,834 --> 00:22:30,417 You two had better settle this with us tonight! 453 00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:31,834 Brother, please listen to me 454 00:22:31,834 --> 00:22:33,792 Put away your gun first. Put it back 455 00:22:34,876 --> 00:22:37,709 I'll set up a friendship dinner. How about that? 456 00:22:37,709 --> 00:22:39,959 We shouldn't get so upset because of a pair of mules 457 00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:41,126 It's not worth it, right? 458 00:22:41,126 --> 00:22:43,167 My friend got drunk. Please forgive him 459 00:22:43,167 --> 00:22:45,042 Like back in GaGa 460 00:22:45,042 --> 00:22:47,959 I'll set up a friendship dinner. How about that? 461 00:22:48,584 --> 00:22:49,917 I'll tell you now 462 00:22:49,917 --> 00:22:53,709 I, Tyrannosaurus, have never been so insulted 463 00:22:54,667 --> 00:22:56,167 I treated you with courtesy 464 00:22:56,167 --> 00:22:58,959 so you must fuck the mule first before you can leave 465 00:22:59,334 --> 00:23:01,959 You came today, you then need to fuck a mule 466 00:23:01,959 --> 00:23:03,501 Otherwise, I won't let you walk out of here 467 00:23:06,542 --> 00:23:10,501 Cheung, listen to me. I'm so sorry 468 00:23:10,501 --> 00:23:13,959 Brother Tyrannosaurus, it's me who brought him here 469 00:23:14,709 --> 00:23:15,834 I'll do it on his behalf 470 00:23:15,834 --> 00:23:17,459 Both mules for me 471 00:23:17,959 --> 00:23:19,959 You think this is a wedding? 472 00:23:20,292 --> 00:23:21,917 The best man drinks the groom? 473 00:23:22,126 --> 00:23:23,959 One man on each mule! 474 00:23:23,959 --> 00:23:24,876 What's the big deal? 475 00:23:24,876 --> 00:23:26,959 Stop it! Stop it. Let me speak 476 00:23:26,959 --> 00:23:28,542 Stop talking. Listen to me 477 00:23:29,751 --> 00:23:30,959 I ask for one thing 478 00:23:30,959 --> 00:23:31,876 What? 479 00:23:32,251 --> 00:23:34,167 Can I have a pre-coital cigarette? 480 00:23:34,584 --> 00:23:35,042 Go ahead 481 00:23:37,626 --> 00:23:41,292 Cheung, as your buddy, I'm so sorry 482 00:23:42,667 --> 00:23:44,834 Lui, don't say that shit 483 00:23:46,084 --> 00:23:48,751 It seems like we can't escape this time 484 00:23:50,792 --> 00:23:53,751 How about I cover for you. You run away first 485 00:23:53,751 --> 00:23:56,376 Fuck you. Do I look like someone who'll do that? 486 00:23:56,876 --> 00:23:59,126 I have a sense of personal loyalty 487 00:24:00,959 --> 00:24:01,667 So... 488 00:24:01,959 --> 00:24:03,292 how about you protect me first while I run 489 00:24:03,876 --> 00:24:04,584 FUCK you! 490 00:24:05,126 --> 00:24:08,084 No matter what fucking happens, I promise you 491 00:24:08,084 --> 00:24:11,959 Whatever happens tonight, only you and I will know 492 00:24:13,959 --> 00:24:14,959 And the few of them 493 00:24:16,209 --> 00:24:17,376 and the two mules 494 00:24:17,376 --> 00:24:18,376 We won't say a word! 495 00:24:18,376 --> 00:24:20,834 Why are you talking so fucking loud? 496 00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:22,126 Are you proud of it? 497 00:24:23,334 --> 00:24:24,792 Are you two ready to fuck or what? 498 00:24:27,084 --> 00:24:28,959 Do you need to take so fucking long? 499 00:24:31,126 --> 00:24:33,834 I never realized before that smoking a cigarette 500 00:24:35,292 --> 00:24:36,376 lasts for such a short time 501 00:24:38,876 --> 00:24:40,084 If I can just puff on it for a little longer 502 00:24:41,542 --> 00:24:42,584 then it would be great 503 00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:46,959 If you've ever been to those old cinemas 504 00:25:46,959 --> 00:25:51,001 where there was a dress circle for midnight shows 505 00:25:51,667 --> 00:25:53,959 then you may have experienced the same thing 506 00:25:54,459 --> 00:25:55,959 Halfway though a show 507 00:25:56,417 --> 00:25:58,792 the film burns up 508 00:25:58,792 --> 00:26:00,459 because the projector got too hot 509 00:26:00,959 --> 00:26:02,542 part of a reel is missing 510 00:26:03,834 --> 00:26:04,667 There's no picture 511 00:26:06,209 --> 00:26:08,251 When you drink too much, you may also lose some footage 512 00:26:08,959 --> 00:26:11,084 You forget what happened to you 513 00:26:12,209 --> 00:26:13,376 and what you've done 514 00:26:15,542 --> 00:26:17,959 If it's something we really want to forget 515 00:26:17,959 --> 00:26:19,584 we can also force ourselves to lose some footage 516 00:26:22,459 --> 00:26:24,126 What the hell happened that night? 517 00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:27,959 I just remember us having dinner 518 00:26:29,876 --> 00:26:31,459 after that cigarette 519 00:26:32,501 --> 00:26:33,501 I don't remember anything 520 00:26:38,292 --> 00:26:40,584 But since then 521 00:26:40,584 --> 00:26:44,209 whenever I see a four-legged animal like 522 00:26:44,959 --> 00:26:45,959 a horse 523 00:26:47,292 --> 00:26:48,542 a COW 524 00:26:49,542 --> 00:26:50,501 a goat... 525 00:26:52,876 --> 00:26:54,959 I can't help but start flinching 526 00:26:58,167 --> 00:27:03,334 I try to make myself forget because 527 00:27:04,334 --> 00:27:05,959 what happens in Vegas 528 00:27:06,501 --> 00:27:07,834 stays in Vegas 529 00:27:09,709 --> 00:27:11,209 What happens in Guangxi 530 00:27:13,292 --> 00:27:14,209 I'd rather not think about it 531 00:27:15,501 --> 00:27:16,959 Hey, everything's fine 532 00:27:16,959 --> 00:27:19,376 Brother Tyrannosaurus thinks we did good last time 533 00:27:19,376 --> 00:27:20,959 He wants to invest in the film 534 00:27:21,834 --> 00:27:22,959 What? What film? 535 00:27:22,959 --> 00:27:24,542 The story he mentioned to you 536 00:27:24,542 --> 00:27:26,584 Damn! I'm really missing some footage 537 00:27:26,584 --> 00:27:27,876 I don't remember a thing 538 00:27:27,876 --> 00:27:29,959 What the fuck. You already promised him! 539 00:27:29,959 --> 00:27:31,959 Fuck me. What kind of film? 540 00:27:32,667 --> 00:27:35,959 I told you it was great! 541 00:27:35,959 --> 00:27:39,292 Once you try it, you will never go back 542 00:27:40,626 --> 00:27:44,292 See? These two fuckers are still savoring it 543 00:27:46,209 --> 00:27:50,042 Big Producer, since we're brothers now 544 00:27:50,042 --> 00:27:51,292 I don't mind telling you that 545 00:27:51,292 --> 00:27:55,209 since I was a kid, I've always admired film people 546 00:27:55,209 --> 00:27:58,334 You guys have talent and imagination 547 00:27:58,334 --> 00:27:59,542 How can we compare with you? 548 00:27:59,542 --> 00:28:00,959 It's nothing, really 549 00:28:01,751 --> 00:28:04,126 When I was a child in Guangxi 550 00:28:04,126 --> 00:28:06,584 I loved going to see Hong Kong movies 551 00:28:07,084 --> 00:28:09,376 What was my favourite film? 552 00:28:09,376 --> 00:28:12,501 Big Brother, your favourites must've all been pornos 553 00:28:12,501 --> 00:28:13,751 Do you need to say it? 554 00:28:13,751 --> 00:28:15,959 Of course! What was it called? 555 00:28:17,251 --> 00:28:18,126 Oh yes 556 00:28:18,126 --> 00:28:19,917 "Confession of a Concubine" 557 00:28:20,584 --> 00:28:22,959 Starring that erotic film star... 558 00:28:22,959 --> 00:28:24,001 Yum Yum Shaw, right? 559 00:28:24,001 --> 00:28:27,417 Yes, yes! I loved her since I was a kid 560 00:28:27,417 --> 00:28:31,084 Whenever I think of her, I'd want to jerk off 561 00:28:31,917 --> 00:28:33,751 Just mentioning her makes me hard 562 00:28:35,167 --> 00:28:38,959 Do you think we can make her come back 563 00:28:39,084 --> 00:28:41,001 and make a film? 564 00:28:41,001 --> 00:28:41,959 Do you have money? 565 00:28:42,459 --> 00:28:43,167 Of course! 566 00:28:43,167 --> 00:28:44,001 Then I know her very well! 567 00:28:44,001 --> 00:28:44,959 Great! 568 00:28:45,167 --> 00:28:48,584 Then just remake "Confession of a Concubine" 569 00:28:48,584 --> 00:28:49,792 I've even come up with a new title 570 00:28:49,792 --> 00:28:51,917 "Confessions of Two Concubines" 571 00:28:52,584 --> 00:28:55,542 If it makes money, then let's make 572 00:28:55,542 --> 00:28:57,542 "Triple Confessions of Concubines" 573 00:28:58,709 --> 00:29:02,959 If that also makes money, then we must make 574 00:29:02,959 --> 00:29:04,459 "Four-Way Confessions of Concubines" 575 00:29:05,917 --> 00:29:07,334 Good idea, no? 576 00:29:07,751 --> 00:29:10,001 OK it's settled. You make it, I invest in it 577 00:29:11,542 --> 00:29:12,501 As long as you have money! 578 00:29:12,959 --> 00:29:15,959 You shoot...no. You invest, we shoot 579 00:29:16,584 --> 00:29:17,417 It's bound to be good 580 00:29:17,792 --> 00:29:18,751 OK then let's do it 581 00:29:18,959 --> 00:29:20,167 Cheers! Cheers! 582 00:29:20,167 --> 00:29:21,001 Let's drink the whole bottle! 583 00:29:23,251 --> 00:29:25,334 The condoms we left for you 584 00:29:25,959 --> 00:29:26,959 Why didn't you use them? 585 00:29:26,959 --> 00:29:28,209 Did you bring your own? 586 00:29:32,001 --> 00:29:34,792 You need a condom to fuck a mule? 587 00:29:36,501 --> 00:29:39,001 Big Brother, how can you fuck a mule without a condom? 588 00:29:39,501 --> 00:29:41,626 Of course not 589 00:29:41,959 --> 00:29:45,126 Look at these crazy and reckless Hong Kongers 590 00:29:45,876 --> 00:29:46,959 So disgusting 591 00:29:47,501 --> 00:29:51,667 We'd better not use the same utensils 592 00:29:51,959 --> 00:29:53,376 Good fucking idea 593 00:29:54,667 --> 00:29:57,959 I think movies are just like fashion 594 00:29:58,376 --> 00:29:59,376 There are cycles 595 00:30:00,459 --> 00:30:02,167 Just like bell-bottommed trousers 596 00:30:02,792 --> 00:30:03,959 they were popular in the 70s 597 00:30:04,709 --> 00:30:06,167 But after a few decades, they'll become popular again 598 00:30:07,959 --> 00:30:12,959 Everyone has regrets about their first time 599 00:30:13,959 --> 00:30:17,917 But a second opportunity can come very fast 600 00:30:18,709 --> 00:30:19,959 Life is full of surprises 601 00:30:21,459 --> 00:30:23,334 When this second opportunity comes, you may ask yourself 602 00:30:24,167 --> 00:30:25,792 if I can do it again 603 00:30:26,959 --> 00:30:29,501 This time, how can I improve my performance? 604 00:30:31,959 --> 00:30:34,042 Today, your opportunity has comes 605 00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:38,959 What the fuck, Cheung? You've got to be kidding me 606 00:30:39,084 --> 00:30:40,959 I thank you for coming to me with a new film idea 607 00:30:41,959 --> 00:30:44,001 But I'm an old lady now, and you're still asking me to strip? 608 00:30:44,542 --> 00:30:46,042 Are you nuts? 609 00:30:46,959 --> 00:30:47,959 Don't scold me yet 610 00:30:49,334 --> 00:30:52,084 My big boss really loves you 611 00:30:52,084 --> 00:30:54,626 He saw you in "Confession of a Concubine" when he was a child 612 00:30:55,501 --> 00:30:57,959 If you're in "Confessions of Two Concubines", 613 00:30:57,959 --> 00:30:58,959 it'll surely be a hit 614 00:30:59,459 --> 00:31:00,792 When he was a child, right? 615 00:31:01,626 --> 00:31:02,626 Asking me to take off my clothes? 616 00:31:02,626 --> 00:31:03,959 Even if I say yes 617 00:31:03,959 --> 00:31:05,251 I'll just end scaring youngsters away! 618 00:31:05,917 --> 00:31:07,959 You asked me out for lunch. I appreciate it 619 00:31:08,417 --> 00:31:10,167 You give me a new role. I also appreciate it 620 00:31:10,167 --> 00:31:12,042 But please don't ask me 621 00:31:12,042 --> 00:31:13,751 to do this at my age 622 00:31:13,751 --> 00:31:17,251 so I won't get teased by people, ok asshole? 623 00:31:17,959 --> 00:31:22,292 But my boss said that we must have Yum Yum Shaw 624 00:31:22,751 --> 00:31:24,667 You see what kind of influence you still have ? 625 00:31:24,667 --> 00:31:25,959 Ok, even if you deny it 626 00:31:25,959 --> 00:31:28,709 at least your presence still affect me 627 00:31:29,959 --> 00:31:31,709 It's fine if you don't help me 628 00:31:31,709 --> 00:31:33,209 But think about yourself 629 00:31:33,209 --> 00:31:34,959 Why not show off your beauty before it's too late? 630 00:31:35,959 --> 00:31:37,959 I'll treat you to this meal 631 00:31:37,959 --> 00:31:40,959 Please, I beg you, go play around with young girls 632 00:31:40,959 --> 00:31:43,251 But don't try to fool this old lady. Eat! 633 00:31:46,584 --> 00:31:49,459 Daddy, what are you scratching? I'll scratch too 634 00:31:49,917 --> 00:31:50,876 No, Jacqueline 635 00:31:50,876 --> 00:31:53,209 Only low-lives scratch like that in public 636 00:31:55,959 --> 00:31:56,917 Mr. To 637 00:31:56,917 --> 00:31:58,626 I let you see Jacqueline 638 00:31:58,626 --> 00:32:00,417 because I have a meeting in Shanghai 639 00:32:00,417 --> 00:32:02,584 so I can't go with her to school 640 00:32:02,959 --> 00:32:04,501 No matter what, you're still her father 641 00:32:04,501 --> 00:32:06,084 After you meet her teacher 642 00:32:06,959 --> 00:32:08,376 I'll ask the maid to pick her up 643 00:32:09,251 --> 00:32:10,126 No way 644 00:32:10,501 --> 00:32:12,459 You're gonna leave her alone at night? 645 00:32:12,459 --> 00:32:13,376 She can stay with me 646 00:32:13,376 --> 00:32:14,667 The maid will look after her 647 00:32:14,667 --> 00:32:16,876 Why must the maid look after her? 648 00:32:16,876 --> 00:32:18,751 You'll let her sleep alone all night? 649 00:32:18,751 --> 00:32:19,626 Auntie Lin will stay with her 650 00:32:19,626 --> 00:32:21,501 Why must she stay with the maid? 651 00:32:21,501 --> 00:32:23,417 Our daughter isn't a horse trainer 652 00:32:23,417 --> 00:32:26,167 Daddy, why does a horse trainer need to sleep with a maid? 653 00:32:26,167 --> 00:32:29,876 Oh, because those horse trainers are desperate 654 00:32:29,876 --> 00:32:31,792 They need to work in the middle of the night 655 00:32:31,792 --> 00:32:34,001 When they finish work 656 00:32:34,001 --> 00:32:36,667 they have needs in the morning Enough 657 00:32:36,667 --> 00:32:38,459 Why do you say these things in front of your daughter? 658 00:32:40,501 --> 00:32:42,209 I'll send you Auntie Lin's mobile number 659 00:32:42,876 --> 00:32:44,001 After the parents' meeting... 660 00:32:44,001 --> 00:32:45,834 I want to stay at Daddy's place 661 00:32:46,959 --> 00:32:47,876 Lawyer Tsang 662 00:32:48,167 --> 00:32:50,959 I hope you will respect the wishes of the parties 663 00:32:52,209 --> 00:32:52,959 Thank you 664 00:32:55,959 --> 00:33:00,959 Jacqueline, Mommy can let you stay at Daddy's place 665 00:33:01,167 --> 00:33:02,417 But you must promise me something 666 00:33:02,792 --> 00:33:05,959 If you touch anything dirty there 667 00:33:05,959 --> 00:33:07,376 wash your hands immediately 668 00:33:07,376 --> 00:33:08,792 Clean with soap for 15 seconds 669 00:33:08,792 --> 00:33:10,626 while singing "Happy Birthday", OK? 670 00:33:11,042 --> 00:33:13,542 Call Mommy anytime if you have any problems 671 00:33:13,542 --> 00:33:15,834 or call Auntie Lin, OK? 672 00:33:16,084 --> 00:33:17,042 OK 673 00:33:18,834 --> 00:33:19,834 Are you done scratching? 674 00:33:19,834 --> 00:33:20,917 I don't know why 675 00:33:22,167 --> 00:33:22,959 it's so itchy! 676 00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:25,084 Come, let's go have ice cream 677 00:33:26,001 --> 00:33:28,792 To Siu-kuen's academic performance is really poor 678 00:33:29,167 --> 00:33:30,667 After going through her records 679 00:33:30,959 --> 00:33:33,959 She was ranked no.1 before she transferred here 680 00:33:34,167 --> 00:33:35,959 But now she's almost the worst student 681 00:33:35,959 --> 00:33:36,959 As her parent 682 00:33:36,959 --> 00:33:39,751 you should let her focus more on her studies 683 00:33:39,751 --> 00:33:42,959 Miss Cheung, she's been very focused 684 00:33:43,167 --> 00:33:45,959 You should reduce her activities outside of school 685 00:33:45,959 --> 00:33:47,251 so she can concentrate on her studies 686 00:33:47,251 --> 00:33:47,959 Such as? 687 00:33:48,501 --> 00:33:49,834 Like looking after her dog 688 00:33:49,834 --> 00:33:50,667 Impossible 689 00:33:50,667 --> 00:33:52,709 I cannot force my daughter to give up her dog 690 00:33:52,709 --> 00:33:55,459 When I was a child, I didn't have to study like this 691 00:33:55,459 --> 00:33:57,209 My mother didn't push me to study every night 692 00:33:57,209 --> 00:33:58,917 unlike her nasty mother 693 00:33:59,834 --> 00:34:01,959 What do you do, Mr. To? 694 00:34:01,959 --> 00:34:02,959 I'm a film producer 695 00:34:02,959 --> 00:34:03,917 How about your wife? 696 00:34:04,542 --> 00:34:05,959 Barrister 697 00:34:05,959 --> 00:34:07,167 There you go 698 00:34:08,501 --> 00:34:12,084 Actually, our school is most concerned about our reputation 699 00:34:12,084 --> 00:34:14,167 If our students cannot reach a certain standard 700 00:34:14,167 --> 00:34:15,584 it will end up affecting us too 701 00:34:15,959 --> 00:34:18,292 Based on To Siu-kuen's academic performance 702 00:34:18,792 --> 00:34:19,959 things are not looking good 703 00:34:19,959 --> 00:34:21,792 Although Lawyer Tsang 704 00:34:21,792 --> 00:34:23,876 pleaded with our principal to take her in... 705 00:34:24,084 --> 00:34:26,126 Only her mother did the begging, not me 706 00:34:26,126 --> 00:34:26,917 Are you going to kick her out? 707 00:34:26,917 --> 00:34:27,959 Don't wait until next week 708 00:34:27,959 --> 00:34:30,292 I can go enrol her at Oxford 709 00:34:30,959 --> 00:34:31,959 Oxford? 710 00:34:31,959 --> 00:34:33,584 Oxford Road Subsidised Primary School 711 00:34:33,584 --> 00:34:36,459 I have never agreed with most of her mother's arrangements 712 00:34:36,459 --> 00:34:37,959 The average IQ is 120 713 00:34:37,959 --> 00:34:39,959 Our daughter's score is just two points more 714 00:34:39,959 --> 00:34:41,834 122. What's the big deal? 715 00:34:41,834 --> 00:34:43,751 But her mother had to transfer her from a normal school 716 00:34:43,751 --> 00:34:45,959 to your so-called genius school 717 00:34:45,959 --> 00:34:47,959 What's so great about a school for geniuses? 718 00:34:47,959 --> 00:34:48,876 The school's genius 719 00:34:49,042 --> 00:34:50,959 is in charging us $15,000 every month for tuition! 720 00:34:50,959 --> 00:34:54,042 My daughter was the top in a normal school, right? 721 00:34:54,042 --> 00:34:57,709 But she insisted on making her come last among geniuses 722 00:34:58,376 --> 00:35:01,834 Mr. To, you're wrong 723 00:35:01,834 --> 00:35:05,959 All parents want their children to do better than they did 724 00:35:05,959 --> 00:35:07,959 They want them to make friends with smarter people 725 00:35:07,959 --> 00:35:09,167 to upgrade themselves 726 00:35:09,167 --> 00:35:10,084 Of course, some losers like to be 727 00:35:10,084 --> 00:35:12,417 with people at their own level 728 00:35:13,126 --> 00:35:14,542 It makes them feel more comfortable 729 00:35:14,959 --> 00:35:16,959 Mr. To, you are one of these 730 00:35:17,626 --> 00:35:21,876 It doesn't mean To Siu-kuen needs to be like you, right? 731 00:35:21,959 --> 00:35:24,959 Miss Cheung, I don't know what the fuck you're saying 732 00:35:35,917 --> 00:35:36,501 Sorry 733 00:35:36,959 --> 00:35:37,959 Producer, you're back 734 00:35:39,876 --> 00:35:40,417 What's going on? 735 00:35:41,251 --> 00:35:42,292 Fat Wei brought them up here 736 00:35:42,751 --> 00:35:43,417 Fat Wei? 737 00:35:59,959 --> 00:36:00,959 Hey' Pan?! Lap-Wei! 738 00:36:01,334 --> 00:36:03,792 What the fuck are you doing? All I owe you is some money 739 00:36:05,126 --> 00:36:08,959 Hey, you don't just owe me money, but all of us 740 00:36:08,959 --> 00:36:10,417 If you don't pay me, OK 741 00:36:10,417 --> 00:36:12,001 But the whole crew needs to make a living 742 00:36:12,501 --> 00:36:14,834 Who the hell are these people? 743 00:36:14,834 --> 00:36:16,917 Your place is so big, and you're not making a film 744 00:36:16,917 --> 00:36:18,542 So I rented out half of it for you 745 00:36:18,542 --> 00:36:20,084 and let these guys shoot some pseudo-models 746 00:36:20,084 --> 00:36:21,834 How else would you find money to pay people? 747 00:36:23,959 --> 00:36:26,542 Before, you would call me Producer this, Producer that 748 00:36:26,542 --> 00:36:28,084 Now I have no film, so you fuck me over like this 749 00:36:32,501 --> 00:36:34,667 Let Big Sis tell you something 750 00:36:35,376 --> 00:36:39,542 in this world, sometimes being big is not the most important thing 751 00:36:39,542 --> 00:36:41,876 Small can be cute too 752 00:36:42,251 --> 00:36:44,001 Look at me, pretty cute, no? 753 00:36:49,792 --> 00:36:50,959 What kind of writing is this? 754 00:37:00,251 --> 00:37:02,959 Producer To, do you remember me? 755 00:37:03,959 --> 00:37:04,584 Not really 756 00:37:04,959 --> 00:37:06,084 Popping Candy! 757 00:37:07,709 --> 00:37:08,959 Popping Candy? 758 00:37:09,876 --> 00:37:11,459 Maybe I do know you? 759 00:37:13,917 --> 00:37:14,959 You not only know me 760 00:37:15,959 --> 00:37:17,292 but you've tasted me too 761 00:37:18,667 --> 00:37:21,292 Wow, then I really totally don't recall 762 00:37:21,292 --> 00:37:22,959 What are you doing here? 763 00:37:22,959 --> 00:37:26,959 Well, after you said no to me on your last film, I took your advice 764 00:37:27,959 --> 00:37:29,459 Since I don't have much going on 765 00:37:29,459 --> 00:37:31,792 I became a part-time model 766 00:37:32,334 --> 00:37:33,959 Is this your company? Yes 767 00:37:33,959 --> 00:37:36,542 Why did your office become a studio? 768 00:37:36,542 --> 00:37:39,001 Just ask my friend, Fat Wei 769 00:37:39,001 --> 00:37:42,001 They wanted to find a venue for a photography club 770 00:37:42,001 --> 00:37:43,959 They couldn't find a space, so they begged me 771 00:37:43,959 --> 00:37:45,959 My place here is big, no it's not a big deal 772 00:37:47,876 --> 00:37:48,959 Daddy, Daddy 773 00:37:50,459 --> 00:37:52,542 Miss, I like your costume 774 00:37:54,667 --> 00:37:57,959 Actually I'm a nurse. Isn't it pretty? 775 00:37:57,959 --> 00:38:00,709 So cute! I've never seen this type of nurse uniform before 776 00:38:00,709 --> 00:38:02,292 Daddy, I want one too 777 00:38:02,292 --> 00:38:03,959 Hey, wait until you grow bigger... 778 00:38:04,334 --> 00:38:06,501 I mean when you grow up first 779 00:38:19,584 --> 00:38:20,292 Who are you looking for? 780 00:38:20,542 --> 00:38:21,459 Blackie Tak 781 00:38:21,459 --> 00:38:22,126 Come in 782 00:38:22,417 --> 00:38:22,959 Thanks 783 00:38:30,959 --> 00:38:31,876 Producer 784 00:38:32,876 --> 00:38:34,959 Director, what are you doing here? 785 00:38:35,959 --> 00:38:37,792 Well, my friend opened this gambling den 786 00:38:37,792 --> 00:38:38,917 So he asked me to help him 787 00:38:39,042 --> 00:38:40,042 What is this place? 788 00:38:41,001 --> 00:38:41,959 A children's playground? 789 00:38:42,667 --> 00:38:44,667 Nowadays gambling dens are very user friendly 790 00:38:44,667 --> 00:38:45,917 Housewives want to play mahjong 791 00:38:45,917 --> 00:38:46,959 but who looks after the kids? 792 00:38:46,959 --> 00:38:48,917 So we hire maids to look after their children 793 00:38:48,917 --> 00:38:51,292 Do you remember Auntie Chau? She just left 794 00:38:51,292 --> 00:38:52,126 Auntie Chau? 795 00:38:52,251 --> 00:38:54,084 Yes! Excuse me 796 00:38:55,917 --> 00:38:59,042 Mrs. Leung, it's time for you to go home 797 00:38:59,042 --> 00:39:00,376 Let me finish 798 00:39:00,376 --> 00:39:01,751 Your husband will be back in half an hour 799 00:39:01,959 --> 00:39:03,042 What? OK, I should leave 800 00:39:03,042 --> 00:39:04,376 Yes, stop playing 801 00:39:05,334 --> 00:39:06,292 Really? Damn 802 00:39:06,292 --> 00:39:07,459 Billy, let's go 803 00:39:08,667 --> 00:39:09,542 How about the dishes? 804 00:39:09,542 --> 00:39:11,292 Maria has cooked them for you 805 00:39:11,292 --> 00:39:12,417 Your service is really perfect 806 00:39:12,417 --> 00:39:14,584 We always put our customers firsts 807 00:39:14,584 --> 00:39:15,959 Come early next time 808 00:39:18,251 --> 00:39:20,167 Don't, don't, don't 809 00:39:20,959 --> 00:39:23,209 Remember your husband is on leave this Thursday 810 00:39:23,209 --> 00:39:26,084 Behave yourself, OK? Bye bye 811 00:39:26,417 --> 00:39:27,376 OK. Thank you 812 00:39:27,959 --> 00:39:29,626 Tak, what are you doing here? 813 00:39:29,959 --> 00:39:32,126 What can I do? The film market is so damn quiet 814 00:39:32,126 --> 00:39:34,584 How goes the sales pitch on our last project? 815 00:39:34,959 --> 00:39:36,459 How can I even sell it? 816 00:39:36,459 --> 00:39:38,542 I have always given you freedom 817 00:39:38,542 --> 00:39:39,959 But how could you write that 818 00:39:39,959 --> 00:39:41,959 they donate money to al-Qaeda? 819 00:39:42,959 --> 00:39:43,959 Why do you need cameras? 820 00:39:43,959 --> 00:39:45,959 It's just to be on the safe... 821 00:39:45,959 --> 00:39:47,959 Police, everybody freeze! 822 00:39:48,376 --> 00:39:50,042 We suspect you're running an illegal gambling den 823 00:39:50,501 --> 00:39:51,292 Who's the owner? 824 00:39:51,292 --> 00:39:52,501 There's no owner here 825 00:39:52,501 --> 00:39:54,084 I'm the production manager. We're filming in here 826 00:39:54,084 --> 00:39:56,584 This is our director, our camera 827 00:39:56,584 --> 00:39:58,959 our extras, our lighting gears 828 00:39:58,959 --> 00:40:00,792 You dare to try and fool us? 829 00:40:00,792 --> 00:40:02,626 I've been watching you for the past two weeks 830 00:40:02,626 --> 00:40:03,959 You're filming the same scene every day? 831 00:40:03,959 --> 00:40:05,417 Your dialogue is the same every day? 832 00:40:06,501 --> 00:40:07,626 I've even recorded it 833 00:40:07,626 --> 00:40:10,334 Like "pong", "seung", "Chow", "kong" 834 00:40:10,626 --> 00:40:11,542 "Aiya, I lost" 835 00:40:11,959 --> 00:40:15,126 And "Fuck you for such a risky tile" 836 00:40:15,126 --> 00:40:16,709 I'll let our director explain 837 00:40:17,376 --> 00:40:19,876 Sir, this is a gambling film 838 00:40:19,876 --> 00:40:22,584 The words "pong", "seung", "kong", 839 00:40:22,584 --> 00:40:25,167 are required in the film 840 00:40:25,167 --> 00:40:26,959 And Sir, "Fuck you..." 841 00:40:26,959 --> 00:40:28,292 "...for such a risky tile" 842 00:40:28,292 --> 00:40:31,417 clearly expresses a gambler's rage 843 00:40:32,917 --> 00:40:33,626 How about the money? 844 00:40:33,834 --> 00:40:34,959 Fake money 845 00:40:36,959 --> 00:40:38,292 It looks this real? 846 00:40:38,292 --> 00:40:39,001 If it looks fake, 847 00:40:39,001 --> 00:40:40,959 Hong Kong movies won't look professional 848 00:40:43,959 --> 00:40:45,292 You! What do you do? 849 00:40:45,959 --> 00:40:47,959 I'm the most miserable. I'm the producer of this film 850 00:40:49,376 --> 00:40:51,417 Everyone squat down. Pull out your ID cards 851 00:40:51,417 --> 00:40:53,834 Squat down... Pull out your ID cards 852 00:40:53,834 --> 00:40:54,459 You too 853 00:40:58,167 --> 00:41:02,417 Blackie Tak, you can't be like this your whole life 854 00:41:02,417 --> 00:41:04,542 You think I don't want to make movies? 855 00:41:04,959 --> 00:41:06,376 Just look at my name 856 00:41:06,376 --> 00:41:07,792 I've had bad luck for the last few years 857 00:41:07,792 --> 00:41:10,959 You've had bad luck for more than a few years 858 00:41:11,042 --> 00:41:12,667 But now your chance is coming 859 00:41:13,292 --> 00:41:15,084 An investor wants to remake a classic film 860 00:41:15,084 --> 00:41:17,959 I want you to direct it 861 00:41:17,959 --> 00:41:19,042 Really? Remake what? 862 00:41:20,001 --> 00:41:21,584 "Confession of a Concubine" 863 00:41:21,584 --> 00:41:22,334 "Confession of a Concubine"?! 864 00:41:22,334 --> 00:41:22,959 Keep quiet 865 00:41:22,959 --> 00:41:24,376 Sorry! Sorry! 866 00:41:39,626 --> 00:41:40,959 Why are you alone? Where's Quin ? 867 00:41:41,376 --> 00:41:45,959 She was in a rush to go to yoga, so she left first 868 00:41:46,292 --> 00:41:47,417 What the hell? 869 00:41:51,876 --> 00:41:53,959 Hey hi. My legs and arm are bent, 870 00:41:53,959 --> 00:41:55,792 my hands can't reach the phone 871 00:41:55,792 --> 00:41:59,042 Please leave your message after the tone. Call you back 872 00:42:00,209 --> 00:42:02,751 Hey, don't just get bent out of shape. 873 00:42:02,751 --> 00:42:03,626 Why don't you just oack up? 874 00:42:03,626 --> 00:42:05,959 How many times did I say your performance is nosediving? 875 00:42:06,751 --> 00:42:07,959 This is my daughter 876 00:42:07,959 --> 00:42:10,376 How can you leave her alone like this? 877 00:42:10,917 --> 00:42:11,792 Call me back! 878 00:42:11,959 --> 00:42:13,542 Daddy, I'm actually not alone 879 00:42:13,542 --> 00:42:14,959 Big Sis is with me 880 00:42:15,292 --> 00:42:15,959 Which big Sis? 881 00:42:16,959 --> 00:42:18,334 I can only find some biscuits 882 00:42:19,292 --> 00:42:20,042 Hey, you're back! 883 00:42:20,959 --> 00:42:21,959 Did you help me look after her? 884 00:42:22,084 --> 00:42:24,167 Yeah, I saw your assistant leave 885 00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,959 So I stayed to keep her company after the shoot 886 00:42:28,626 --> 00:42:30,126 I actually wanted to go down to buy something to eat 887 00:42:30,667 --> 00:42:32,292 But I was worried about her staying here alone 888 00:42:36,959 --> 00:42:39,292 Don't eat these. Let's go out to eat 889 00:42:59,167 --> 00:42:59,959 Be careful. It's hot 890 00:43:00,626 --> 00:43:03,959 At this moment, I find that I may have misjudged Popping Candy 891 00:43:05,251 --> 00:43:07,584 Before, I thought that at most she was a "wet nurse" 892 00:43:09,792 --> 00:43:11,417 but in fact she might turn out to be a good mother 893 00:43:11,959 --> 00:43:14,667 Daddy, I haven't slept at your place for so long 894 00:43:14,959 --> 00:43:17,084 Actually, I really want to sleep here 895 00:43:17,376 --> 00:43:18,959 Then you should tell Mommy that 896 00:43:19,334 --> 00:43:21,792 Mommy says she doesn't want me to see you so much 897 00:43:21,792 --> 00:43:23,959 Otherwise, I'll start becoming more like you 898 00:43:23,959 --> 00:43:27,501 She said your films are all Category III 899 00:43:27,501 --> 00:43:29,709 and they're not suitable for children 900 00:43:29,709 --> 00:43:31,167 The films you made before 901 00:43:31,167 --> 00:43:33,792 I actually told my classmates about them 902 00:43:33,792 --> 00:43:35,959 But none of them have heard of the titles 903 00:43:35,959 --> 00:43:37,959 Their families only let them go see 904 00:43:37,959 --> 00:43:40,459 stuff like "Lord of the Rings" and "infernal Affairs" 905 00:43:40,959 --> 00:43:44,167 Daddy, what was the name of your last film? 906 00:43:44,751 --> 00:43:46,959 "Sudan Red vs. Malachite Green" 907 00:43:47,292 --> 00:43:49,417 But my classmates have never heard of it 908 00:43:49,834 --> 00:43:53,001 In this world, there are many kinds of movies 909 00:43:53,167 --> 00:43:55,167 Some are shot more expensively 910 00:43:55,709 --> 00:43:56,959 some are not so expensive 911 00:43:56,959 --> 00:44:00,251 Daddy right now's making movies that are not so expensive 912 00:44:01,084 --> 00:44:03,792 It's cheaper, so there's less money 913 00:44:04,001 --> 00:44:06,959 less promotion, fewer cinemas will show them 914 00:44:07,834 --> 00:44:08,917 so fewer people know 915 00:44:08,917 --> 00:44:11,459 But Mary who sits next to me said 916 00:44:11,459 --> 00:44:15,959 all film premieres are featured on the "Entertainment Scoop" program 917 00:44:15,959 --> 00:44:18,834 So whenever Mommy works late 918 00:44:18,834 --> 00:44:20,959 I turn on the TV to watch the program 919 00:44:21,292 --> 00:44:24,376 but I never see them feature one of your films 920 00:44:24,876 --> 00:44:27,751 Daddy, can you ask "Entertainment Scoop" 921 00:44:27,751 --> 00:44:29,376 to feature one of your films next time? 922 00:44:29,376 --> 00:44:31,376 So even if I can't watch the film 923 00:44:31,376 --> 00:44:32,959 I can still tell my classmates that 924 00:44:32,959 --> 00:44:35,209 my daddy's film was on "Entertainment Scoop". 925 00:44:37,542 --> 00:44:38,501 OK. I promise 926 00:44:38,876 --> 00:44:40,417 Don't forget your promise! 927 00:44:46,042 --> 00:44:46,959 Sleep tight 928 00:45:00,584 --> 00:45:03,959 Hey, sorry. I didn't bring my own clothes 929 00:45:04,709 --> 00:45:06,959 I found these in your closet. Do you mind? 930 00:45:07,751 --> 00:45:10,709 Of course not. My ex-wife left them here 931 00:45:11,126 --> 00:45:12,584 As long as you don't find them too tight 932 00:45:12,917 --> 00:45:13,501 It's OK 933 00:45:15,792 --> 00:45:17,209 Seems you like playing video games 934 00:45:18,209 --> 00:45:20,626 Yup. I'm not good at much except playing video games 935 00:45:20,959 --> 00:45:22,209 Come on, that's not true 936 00:45:23,292 --> 00:45:24,667 When I was a little girl, I thought 937 00:45:24,667 --> 00:45:26,251 I'd become a video game designer 938 00:45:27,417 --> 00:45:29,959 But apparently you must be good at maths. And I'm not 939 00:45:29,959 --> 00:45:32,917 You're kidding. You wanted to be a video game designer? 940 00:45:32,917 --> 00:45:34,751 May I ask what kind of game would you design? 941 00:45:39,709 --> 00:45:42,001 Don't you think holding this game controller 942 00:45:42,001 --> 00:45:43,584 is kinda like giving someone a handjob? 943 00:45:45,959 --> 00:45:47,334 So I was thinking 944 00:45:47,334 --> 00:45:49,792 there should be a game that helps people jerk off 945 00:45:52,959 --> 00:45:56,501 Mind if you explain how you'd make a jerking off game? 946 00:45:56,501 --> 00:45:57,334 Why not? 947 00:45:57,334 --> 00:45:59,126 You owe people lots of money 948 00:45:59,126 --> 00:46:00,542 so the player must clear the debt by working at a massage parlour 949 00:46:00,959 --> 00:46:02,959 That's fucking sad. What's so fun about it? 950 00:46:02,959 --> 00:46:03,917 What's not fun about it? 951 00:46:03,917 --> 00:46:05,626 You need to give handjobs to clear your debt 952 00:46:05,626 --> 00:46:06,959 so you gotta do it fast 953 00:46:07,959 --> 00:46:09,959 If you do it quickly and accurately 954 00:46:09,959 --> 00:46:11,792 you can earn promotions and keep your clients 955 00:46:12,084 --> 00:46:15,251 If your techniques aren't right, you will hurt your wrists 956 00:46:15,751 --> 00:46:16,876 and you'll get less business 957 00:46:18,667 --> 00:46:19,709 You have a point 958 00:46:20,167 --> 00:46:21,667 But nobody will play your game 959 00:46:22,126 --> 00:46:22,917 Why? 960 00:46:23,167 --> 00:46:24,584 Liking video games 961 00:46:24,584 --> 00:46:26,167 doesn't mean you'll also like jerking off 962 00:46:26,376 --> 00:46:27,542 If you like giving handjobs 963 00:46:27,542 --> 00:46:29,292 then why not work at a real massage parlour? 964 00:46:29,292 --> 00:46:30,001 Why play a video game? 965 00:46:30,126 --> 00:46:32,084 Not necessarily. 966 00:46:32,084 --> 00:46:36,959 My friends wouldn't help their moms with the cooking 967 00:46:36,959 --> 00:46:38,876 but they'd play Cooking Mama in the living room 968 00:46:39,459 --> 00:46:41,751 Maybe some guys would buy it 969 00:46:41,751 --> 00:46:42,959 to train their girlfriends 970 00:46:43,501 --> 00:46:45,084 Sounds like you did your research 971 00:46:45,084 --> 00:46:47,209 Yes, once I have lots of money 972 00:46:47,209 --> 00:46:48,917 I will start developing this video game 973 00:46:52,126 --> 00:46:55,417 Hey, are you really gonna give me a role? 974 00:46:56,959 --> 00:46:58,334 Really, newcomers like you 975 00:46:58,334 --> 00:47:00,834 think you'd get a role just by sleeping around 976 00:47:00,834 --> 00:47:01,959 I'll ask you this: 977 00:47:02,751 --> 00:47:04,709 last time, you slept with assistant director Sunny Luk 978 00:47:05,167 --> 00:47:06,376 did he give you a role? 979 00:47:07,292 --> 00:47:09,042 He said he didn't have a role for me yet 980 00:47:09,042 --> 00:47:10,959 Fuck him - he's already working as a director 981 00:47:11,667 --> 00:47:13,376 You know what he's most worried about? 982 00:47:13,959 --> 00:47:15,459 He's scared of people gossiping 983 00:47:15,626 --> 00:47:16,209 So what does he do? 984 00:47:16,792 --> 00:47:17,959 He won't let you go on set 985 00:47:17,959 --> 00:47:19,251 So why would he give you a role ? 986 00:47:20,751 --> 00:47:21,542 And you? 987 00:47:22,959 --> 00:47:24,084 I'm a producer. It's different 988 00:47:24,084 --> 00:47:25,126 Gossips don't bother me 989 00:47:25,792 --> 00:47:28,084 But it's fucking hard to even begin shooting 990 00:47:29,959 --> 00:47:31,334 If I can make one, Hlgetyouin 991 00:47:32,959 --> 00:47:36,626 Actually, you're not the first to promise me a role 992 00:47:36,626 --> 00:47:38,917 and then bring me to god knows where 993 00:47:39,959 --> 00:47:40,959 But... 994 00:47:42,667 --> 00:47:44,667 you're the first who's willing to tell me the truth 995 00:47:51,084 --> 00:47:51,959 I'm sorry 996 00:47:53,792 --> 00:47:55,876 I'm not that interested in your private life 997 00:47:55,876 --> 00:47:58,001 I wanna know - did you really fuck that donkey? 998 00:47:58,292 --> 00:48:00,209 Miss 999 00:48:00,209 --> 00:48:02,292 it means you haven't been paying attention 1000 00:48:03,959 --> 00:48:06,251 See, mules and donkeys are different 1001 00:48:07,042 --> 00:48:12,126 A mule is the result of a horse and a donkey fucking. Understand? 1002 00:48:13,001 --> 00:48:15,334 You guys are not interested at all in 1003 00:48:15,334 --> 00:48:15,959 what happens between me and the girl? 1004 00:48:16,167 --> 00:48:18,584 Go back to talk about the mule 1005 00:48:19,084 --> 00:48:21,667 Right, let's humor everyone and talk about the mule? 1006 00:48:22,334 --> 00:48:23,959 But surely you want to know 1007 00:48:24,376 --> 00:48:26,042 why Popping Candy is called Popping Candy? 1008 00:48:27,834 --> 00:48:28,667 Why then? 1009 00:48:28,667 --> 00:48:31,292 The reason Popping Candy is called Popping Candy is because 1010 00:48:31,292 --> 00:48:33,501 she has a secret weapon 1011 00:48:33,584 --> 00:48:34,209 What is it? 1012 00:48:36,459 --> 00:48:37,042 Exploding 1013 00:48:37,709 --> 00:48:38,792 Candy 1014 00:48:39,001 --> 00:48:39,959 mouth 1015 00:48:40,626 --> 00:48:43,959 Half a year ago 1016 00:48:49,667 --> 00:48:50,417 Producer 1017 00:48:51,167 --> 00:48:53,042 thanks for the meal today 1018 00:48:54,417 --> 00:48:55,084 No problem 1019 00:48:55,751 --> 00:48:58,251 Just now, you taught me lots of things 1020 00:48:58,709 --> 00:48:59,959 I'm lucky to have listened to you 1021 00:49:00,292 --> 00:49:02,834 Otherwise, I really would have taken that role 1022 00:49:04,876 --> 00:49:08,626 Since I'm a newcomer, I've got a lot to learn 1023 00:49:08,959 --> 00:49:10,959 I really thought that film was a 3D movie 1024 00:49:11,834 --> 00:49:15,709 If it's in 3D, then it should be a big production 1025 00:49:15,709 --> 00:49:17,084 You got it all wrong 1026 00:49:17,959 --> 00:49:22,834 "3D" doesn't mean it's filmed in 3D 1027 00:49:22,959 --> 00:49:24,751 You can already tell by looking at its title: 1028 00:49:24,751 --> 00:49:26,959 "The Avenger in... 1029 00:49:26,959 --> 00:49:29,251 ...33D" 1030 00:49:29,459 --> 00:49:30,876 That's too small for you 1031 00:49:35,959 --> 00:49:38,959 Without you, I wouldn't know what to do 1032 00:49:41,167 --> 00:49:45,542 As a newcomer, you already fulfill one basic requirement 1033 00:49:47,584 --> 00:49:48,626 You have a sweet tongue 1034 00:49:50,042 --> 00:49:52,126 How do you know my tongue is sweet? 1035 00:49:53,792 --> 00:49:57,584 In this industry, these are the most important words 1036 00:49:58,292 --> 00:49:59,334 "Rely on your mouth" 1037 00:49:59,959 --> 00:50:01,084 Just look at me 1038 00:50:01,959 --> 00:50:03,959 There are many ways to use the mouth 1039 00:50:07,667 --> 00:50:10,959 One of them is... If you're good enough 1040 00:50:11,959 --> 00:50:13,959 you can get twice the result with half the effort 1041 00:50:14,834 --> 00:50:17,792 My mouth can learn pretty fast 1042 00:50:17,917 --> 00:50:21,042 As a producer, I always like to instruct newcomers 1043 00:50:26,126 --> 00:50:26,959 Wait a sec 1044 00:50:28,292 --> 00:50:28,959 What? 1045 00:50:28,959 --> 00:50:30,667 Let me find my popping candy first 1046 00:50:30,667 --> 00:50:32,292 Why do you want candy right now? 1047 00:50:32,292 --> 00:50:33,501 I have something else for you 1048 00:50:33,959 --> 00:50:36,042 It's not for me. It's for you! 1049 00:50:37,042 --> 00:50:38,959 I have diabetes. I can't eat too much sugar 1050 00:51:08,751 --> 00:51:11,959 I'm not normally this quick 1051 00:51:13,667 --> 00:51:15,959 You're already not bad 1052 00:51:16,959 --> 00:51:18,792 So far, only one person 1053 00:51:18,792 --> 00:51:19,959 can stand it for more than a minute 1054 00:51:20,834 --> 00:51:23,417 Really? How did he manage to hold it in? 1055 00:51:23,417 --> 00:51:26,792 He... Actually I can't say he could hold it either 1056 00:51:26,959 --> 00:51:29,042 I blew him for five minutes 1057 00:51:29,459 --> 00:51:31,292 but saw that he had no reaction 1058 00:51:31,959 --> 00:51:33,209 I was gonna compliment him 1059 00:51:33,792 --> 00:51:36,209 but then I realised that he'd had a stroke 1060 00:51:38,459 --> 00:51:39,626 I was pretty lucky then 1061 00:51:42,917 --> 00:51:46,542 Hey, hey. It's hard again 1062 00:51:47,876 --> 00:51:48,959 Do you have any more popping candy? 1063 00:52:01,626 --> 00:52:02,584 Auntie, who are you looking for? 1064 00:52:03,126 --> 00:52:03,959 What did you say? 1065 00:52:05,584 --> 00:52:06,417 Where's To Wai-cheung? 1066 00:52:07,709 --> 00:52:09,959 Producer, someone's looking for you 1067 00:52:12,459 --> 00:52:14,292 Excuse me, you should take off your shoes 1068 00:52:17,751 --> 00:52:18,959 Aren't you ashamed? 1069 00:52:19,084 --> 00:52:19,876 What? 1070 00:52:19,876 --> 00:52:22,834 You bring some tramp home in front of your daughter? 1071 00:52:22,834 --> 00:52:25,042 Hey, you can yell at me, but don't insult others 1072 00:52:25,667 --> 00:52:26,709 She's not a tramp 1073 00:52:26,709 --> 00:52:27,959 This is my friend Popping... 1074 00:52:27,959 --> 00:52:28,501 What's your name? 1075 00:52:29,501 --> 00:52:30,292 Tsui Ka-yan 1076 00:52:30,792 --> 00:52:33,584 Your daughter's here, and you bring a teenage girl home? 1077 00:52:33,959 --> 00:52:36,167 Are you nuts? How much older than your daughter is she? 1078 00:52:36,167 --> 00:52:37,959 That's why we don't have a generation gap Jacqueline... 1079 00:52:41,376 --> 00:52:42,167 1080 00:52:43,584 --> 00:52:46,542 Smart move. You even managed to talk back to a barrister 1081 00:52:50,751 --> 00:52:51,959 Bye-bye, Daddy 1082 00:52:53,126 --> 00:52:54,084 I'll visit you again next week 1083 00:52:54,917 --> 00:52:56,209 My letter of attorney states clearly 1084 00:52:56,792 --> 00:52:59,334 If you don't pay your alimony 1085 00:52:59,334 --> 00:53:01,292 you will never see your daughter again 1086 00:53:02,959 --> 00:53:03,626 Let's go, Jacqueline 1087 00:53:04,376 --> 00:53:05,584 Bye-bye, Big Sis 1088 00:53:06,084 --> 00:53:07,667 Bye-bye. Bye-bye 1089 00:53:07,959 --> 00:53:08,376 1090 00:53:09,626 --> 00:53:10,126 Come over here 1091 00:53:12,959 --> 00:53:14,459 Do you remember what Mommy told you? 1092 00:53:15,792 --> 00:53:16,709 You forgot 1093 00:53:17,042 --> 00:53:19,792 When you touch dirty things at Daddy's place 1094 00:53:19,792 --> 00:53:20,959 you must wash your hands 1095 00:53:21,584 --> 00:53:22,292 Open your hands 1096 00:53:27,417 --> 00:53:28,167 Sing Happy Birthday 1097 00:53:29,459 --> 00:53:37,876 Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you 1098 00:53:37,959 --> 00:53:41,292 Happy birthday to you... 1099 00:53:44,542 --> 00:53:45,001 Just ignore her 1100 00:54:07,959 --> 00:54:08,959 I'm thinking 1101 00:54:09,792 --> 00:54:10,542 I know 1102 00:54:19,834 --> 00:54:20,959 Hey I'm really thinking about something serious 1103 00:54:21,376 --> 00:54:24,584 Don't bother me now 1104 00:54:26,417 --> 00:54:27,959 I'm not bothering your brain 1105 00:54:28,834 --> 00:54:30,292 The upper and lower half aren't related 1106 00:54:30,292 --> 00:54:32,334 Your upper half can keep on thinking 1107 00:54:32,334 --> 00:54:33,667 I'll "pop" the bottom half 1108 00:54:40,042 --> 00:54:40,917 What did you just say? 1109 00:54:42,959 --> 00:54:44,626 Your upper half can keep on thinking. 1110 00:54:44,626 --> 00:54:45,917 I'll "pop" the lower half 1111 00:54:47,709 --> 00:54:49,251 Not that, before 1112 00:54:51,126 --> 00:54:52,376 The upper and lower half are not related? 1113 00:55:03,959 --> 00:55:06,792 Sorry. I'm not normally that quick 1114 00:55:06,959 --> 00:55:09,167 Aren't you deceiving your audience? 1115 00:55:09,959 --> 00:55:13,834 Yum Yum, you make it sound so serious 1116 00:55:15,001 --> 00:55:16,959 With the advancements in technology 1117 00:55:17,709 --> 00:55:21,459 Even "Avatar" could make a guy turn into a blue creature 1118 00:55:21,459 --> 00:55:25,126 We can paste your head onto a newcomer's body 1119 00:55:25,126 --> 00:55:26,334 No big deal, right? 1120 00:55:27,001 --> 00:55:30,251 Your face is still so attractive 1121 00:55:30,251 --> 00:55:31,959 and she has an hourglass figure 1122 00:55:33,042 --> 00:55:34,959 Sorry, all this talk is making me hard 1123 00:55:35,959 --> 00:55:37,167 Will it really work? 1124 00:55:37,792 --> 00:55:39,709 I'm really hard now. Of course it works 1125 00:55:40,001 --> 00:55:42,959 Idiot, I mean the film 1126 00:55:43,167 --> 00:55:44,376 Why won't it work? 1127 00:55:44,667 --> 00:55:46,042 You coupled with her will be so sexy 1128 00:55:46,542 --> 00:55:49,959 How about the lead actor? Who are you looking for? 1129 00:55:50,251 --> 00:55:51,292 You have any suggestions? 1130 00:55:51,959 --> 00:55:53,042 Chow Yun-fat? 1131 00:55:56,792 --> 00:55:58,584 Of course, he'd be perfect 1132 00:55:59,417 --> 00:56:03,042 But his schedule is booked for the next three years 1133 00:56:03,959 --> 00:56:05,959 I thought of a potential candidate 1134 00:56:06,959 --> 00:56:08,917 He's on a similar level 1135 00:56:08,917 --> 00:56:12,084 He's like the Chow Yun-fat of Hong Kong Cat III films 1136 00:56:12,626 --> 00:56:13,501 Who is he? 1137 00:56:17,667 --> 00:56:18,542 Hiro Hayama! 1138 00:56:25,376 --> 00:56:26,251 Coffee, thanks. OK 1139 00:56:26,959 --> 00:56:27,959 Don't speak so loud, OK? 1140 00:56:27,959 --> 00:56:29,709 Your name is bigger than my voice 1141 00:56:29,709 --> 00:56:30,917 How can I not speak up? 1142 00:56:31,084 --> 00:56:31,959 I'm shy 1143 00:56:32,959 --> 00:56:34,959 If you're shy, then I'm autistic 1144 00:56:35,334 --> 00:56:37,917 I have exploding body parts phobia. I'm still taking medicine 1145 00:56:38,834 --> 00:56:40,459 Don't ask me to make another Cat Ill film 1146 00:56:43,959 --> 00:56:46,959 This is not like your last film 1147 00:56:46,959 --> 00:56:49,209 Firstly, no Vonnie Lui this time 1148 00:56:49,709 --> 00:56:51,751 So no bodies will suddenly explode 1149 00:56:51,959 --> 00:56:56,001 Secondly, I guarantee your cock from beginning to the end 1150 00:56:56,126 --> 00:56:56,959 won't get cut off 1151 00:57:00,126 --> 00:57:01,584 You sure there are no exploding body parts? 1152 00:57:01,959 --> 00:57:05,417 I ensure you that everyone will be normal and caring 1153 00:57:08,001 --> 00:57:08,959 Well I can consider it 1154 00:57:09,376 --> 00:57:09,959 Yes! 1155 00:57:10,334 --> 00:57:11,542 So how many partners will I have? 1156 00:57:12,042 --> 00:57:15,417 If it's an orgy then I need to charge extra 1157 00:57:16,626 --> 00:57:19,709 Well this is where it gets tricky, so keep it a secret 1158 00:57:19,709 --> 00:57:22,709 In principle, there are two lead actresses 1159 00:57:23,126 --> 00:57:26,459 One is a famous star, Yum Yum Shaw. The other is... 1160 00:57:26,459 --> 00:57:29,542 Wait, wait. Yum Yum Shaw? Who's that? 1161 00:57:30,251 --> 00:57:31,959 Shaw Brothers' No.1 porn star 1162 00:57:32,167 --> 00:57:33,001 Even before they see her face 1163 00:57:33,376 --> 00:57:34,292 her name alone 1164 00:57:34,292 --> 00:57:35,959 would give half the audience hard-ons 1165 00:57:36,417 --> 00:57:37,959 I'm getting hard too just talking about it 1166 00:57:39,251 --> 00:57:40,501 She was very popular backthen 1167 00:57:41,042 --> 00:57:42,876 Back then? When was that? 1168 00:57:42,959 --> 00:57:45,959 Back when the Da Da department store was still in Mongkok 1169 00:57:45,959 --> 00:57:46,959 I wasn't in Hong Kong then 1170 00:57:47,126 --> 00:57:47,959 Poor you 1171 00:57:48,459 --> 00:57:51,292 You didn't get to see Yum Yum Shaw's golden years 1172 00:57:51,584 --> 00:57:54,959 She was like Hong Kong's Ai lijima 1173 00:57:56,751 --> 00:57:59,084 But your actual partner 1174 00:57:59,959 --> 00:58:01,417 is a newcomer, Tsui Ka-yan 1175 00:58:02,167 --> 00:58:03,417 P°PDing Candy? 1176 00:58:05,667 --> 00:58:07,334 So you are acquianted with her 1177 00:58:08,417 --> 00:58:09,334 then everything is easy 1178 00:58:24,084 --> 00:58:24,959 Mr. To 1179 00:58:25,959 --> 00:58:28,917 Why do you think Playboy condom should sponsor your film? 1180 00:58:29,334 --> 00:58:30,876 Well, this is is a Category III film 1181 00:58:31,084 --> 00:58:35,209 Lots of epic lovemaking scenes 1182 00:58:35,501 --> 00:58:36,959 People change condoms more than they change clothes 1183 00:58:37,376 --> 00:58:39,167 If Playboy can't sponsor us 1184 00:58:39,167 --> 00:58:40,501 I don't know who else you could sponsor 1185 00:58:40,876 --> 00:58:41,459 Are you kidding? 1186 00:58:41,459 --> 00:58:43,917 "Confession of Two Concubines" is a period film 1187 00:58:43,917 --> 00:58:44,709 There wew condoms backthen? 1188 00:58:45,084 --> 00:58:46,459 Although it's a period piece 1189 00:58:46,459 --> 00:58:50,626 what's really popular now is the time travel concept 1190 00:58:50,917 --> 00:58:52,959 So adding this will totally fit 1191 00:58:53,042 --> 00:58:55,042 What time travel? It's still just porn 1192 00:58:55,042 --> 00:58:56,792 Who's the main actress? 1193 00:58:57,042 --> 00:58:58,251 We can't reveal her name yet 1194 00:58:58,251 --> 00:58:59,876 but I will give you a surprise 1195 00:59:00,209 --> 00:59:03,167 A superstar, a Hong Kong Film Award winner 1196 00:59:03,584 --> 00:59:04,959 An award-winner who agrees to strip?! 1197 00:59:05,959 --> 00:59:08,001 Who is the partner, the main actor? 1198 00:59:08,001 --> 00:59:09,167 It's Hiro Hayama 1199 00:59:11,334 --> 00:59:13,584 Lately his image isn't so good 1200 00:59:13,584 --> 00:59:15,417 He split with his girlfriend 1201 00:59:15,417 --> 00:59:16,959 and she called him a fast shooter 1202 00:59:17,376 --> 00:59:18,959 Aren't you afraid he's going to aff negatively? 1203 00:59:19,834 --> 00:59:23,251 It's exactly because he's fast. That's why I'm pitching you 1204 00:59:23,251 --> 00:59:23,959 Why's that? 1205 00:59:23,959 --> 00:59:26,167 Think about it. Hiro Hayama is at the premiere 1206 00:59:26,167 --> 00:59:28,459 Reporters will ask why he comes so fast 1207 00:59:28,459 --> 00:59:29,959 What should he say? I'll tell him to say 1208 00:59:30,209 --> 00:59:32,834 "it's because I use Playboy condoms 1209 00:59:32,959 --> 00:59:35,917 They're so thin, it's like I'm wearing nothing at all 1210 00:59:36,334 --> 00:59:38,709 so I can't help but come too fast!" 1211 00:59:39,084 --> 00:59:40,876 Think about it. Once guys hear that 1212 00:59:41,209 --> 00:59:43,959 all the fuckers will rush out to buy 'em 1213 00:59:44,459 --> 00:59:46,417 For guys, I get it 1214 00:59:46,417 --> 00:59:49,376 But wouldn't this give a bad impression to our female customers? 1215 00:59:49,376 --> 00:59:52,042 I'm not gonna care that much about the female customers 1216 00:59:52,292 --> 00:59:54,709 Those who buy condoms are men 1217 00:59:54,709 --> 00:59:57,251 Have you personally seen a woman buying condoms before? 1218 00:59:57,876 --> 00:59:58,834 Not even once 1219 01:00:02,459 --> 01:00:03,626 Excuse me, Mr. To 1220 01:00:04,959 --> 01:00:05,751 Yes? 1221 01:00:05,751 --> 01:00:07,584 We all turned off ourceflphones 1222 01:00:07,584 --> 01:00:08,959 But you've been busy texting 1223 01:00:08,959 --> 01:00:09,959 Aren't you disrespecting us? 1224 01:00:10,334 --> 01:00:11,626 Let me finish this SMS first 1225 01:00:13,959 --> 01:00:15,334 I don't agree with what you said 1226 01:00:15,959 --> 01:00:18,876 Professor Cheng gets paid a salary to speak to you 1227 01:00:18,959 --> 01:00:20,167 but I'm not paid 1228 01:00:20,167 --> 01:00:22,626 There's no reason why I should give up my business just to talk to you 1229 01:00:24,876 --> 01:00:27,834 No problem, please don't blame these kids 1230 01:00:28,001 --> 01:00:29,001 It's because they're young 1231 01:00:29,001 --> 01:00:30,001 so we need to teach them 1232 01:00:30,417 --> 01:00:32,084 Otherwise they'll turn out horrible 1233 01:00:32,584 --> 01:00:34,959 Take my assistant. I treated her too nicely 1234 01:00:34,959 --> 01:00:35,792 So? 1235 01:00:35,792 --> 01:00:36,626 That's why I got in trouble 1236 01:00:39,584 --> 01:00:40,251 Hi 1237 01:00:43,126 --> 01:00:44,876 When is Blackie Tak coming? 1238 01:00:44,876 --> 01:00:45,459 I don't know 1239 01:00:46,417 --> 01:00:48,001 No worries, let me give him a call 1240 01:00:48,001 --> 01:00:49,959 How can you work like this? 1241 01:00:49,959 --> 01:00:51,917 I told you to call him to come up ages ago 1242 01:00:51,917 --> 01:00:53,542 Why do you let your responsibilities nosedive? 1243 01:00:53,959 --> 01:00:55,417 I'm in a hurry to talk to him 1244 01:00:55,417 --> 01:00:56,209 You didn't call him yesterday? 1245 01:00:57,209 --> 01:00:58,209 Why are you still looking at me? 1246 01:00:58,667 --> 01:01:02,584 I hired you to arrange my schedule 1247 01:01:02,584 --> 01:01:05,042 Can I ask you what you have arranged for me? 1248 01:01:06,251 --> 01:01:08,917 In fact I did arrange something for you 1249 01:01:08,917 --> 01:01:10,667 I've arranged a meeting for you 1250 01:01:10,959 --> 01:01:12,626 with Miss Leung. Over there! 1251 01:01:14,459 --> 01:01:15,667 Leung who? 1252 01:01:15,667 --> 01:01:17,126 Just some government person 1253 01:01:17,126 --> 01:01:18,792 Nothing... It's very simple 1254 01:01:19,126 --> 01:01:20,042 I'm done for the day 1255 01:01:20,417 --> 01:01:22,959 Am off to the movies. Bye bye 1256 01:01:22,959 --> 01:01:23,834 What movie? 1257 01:01:23,834 --> 01:01:25,501 A Western film, called 1258 01:01:25,959 --> 01:01:27,959 "Have a Nice Meeting". Goodbye 1259 01:01:32,584 --> 01:01:33,542 What the hell? 1260 01:01:33,959 --> 01:01:34,959 Hello, Mr. To 1261 01:01:34,959 --> 01:01:37,292 I'm Ms. Leung. From the Equal Opportunities Commission 1262 01:01:37,876 --> 01:01:38,959 Do you mind if I record this? 1263 01:01:39,042 --> 01:01:39,751 Go ahead 1264 01:01:39,959 --> 01:01:43,001 I came here to investigate an office sexual harassment case 1265 01:01:43,459 --> 01:01:45,459 Your staff, Ms. Quin Lau 1266 01:01:45,459 --> 01:01:47,959 asked us for help two weeks ago 1267 01:01:47,959 --> 01:01:49,209 According to her verbal statement 1268 01:01:49,209 --> 01:01:52,542 you have previously sexually harassed her twice 1269 01:01:52,626 --> 01:01:53,376 What are you talking about? 1270 01:01:53,376 --> 01:01:54,959 When did I sexually harass her? 1271 01:01:56,959 --> 01:02:01,376 The first time was at 3pm on the 8th of this month 1272 01:02:01,376 --> 01:02:04,417 After you came back from the insurance company meeting 1273 01:02:04,417 --> 01:02:06,667 because of your failure to get sponsorship 1274 01:02:06,667 --> 01:02:08,792 you abused her verbally 1275 01:02:09,292 --> 01:02:11,792 The second time was at 9pm on the 19th 1276 01:02:11,792 --> 01:02:14,334 You left a message on her phone after work 1277 01:02:14,792 --> 01:02:16,501 and repeated those unreasonable requests 1278 01:02:16,959 --> 01:02:19,084 with language involving 1279 01:02:19,084 --> 01:02:21,209 female reproductive organs and oral sex 1280 01:02:21,209 --> 01:02:23,251 Wait, wait... What did I say? 1281 01:02:24,167 --> 01:02:25,959 This is the statement by Miss Lau 1282 01:02:29,251 --> 01:02:31,126 When did I tell her to go "muff diving"? 1283 01:02:31,667 --> 01:02:33,959 Fuck! This overseas Chinese girl is so much trouble 1284 01:02:34,209 --> 01:02:35,667 If she doesn't know Chinese, she should learn it 1285 01:02:35,959 --> 01:02:38,792 What I said was her work performance is "nosediving" 1286 01:02:38,792 --> 01:02:40,292 Mr. To, I have to remind you 1287 01:02:40,292 --> 01:02:42,501 this conversation is being recorded 1288 01:02:42,501 --> 01:02:44,876 The words you say can be used as evidence in court 1289 01:02:45,001 --> 01:02:47,959 Please refrain from any more misleading and discriminatory words 1290 01:02:47,959 --> 01:02:49,292 What you just said 1291 01:02:49,292 --> 01:02:51,751 implies that you and Ms. Lau had a compromising relationship 1292 01:02:51,751 --> 01:02:52,959 Where are you going with this? 1293 01:02:52,959 --> 01:02:55,334 What did I say? When did I say that? 1294 01:02:58,959 --> 01:03:00,959 "Fucking this overseas Chinese girl is so much trouble" 1295 01:03:01,709 --> 01:03:04,751 Mr. To, what you just said clearly implies that 1296 01:03:05,042 --> 01:03:06,792 the alleged harassment 1297 01:03:06,792 --> 01:03:09,084 came after you had sex with her 1298 01:03:09,334 --> 01:03:10,542 I said 1299 01:03:10,959 --> 01:03:14,501 "Fuck...This overseas Chinese girl is so much trouble" 1300 01:03:14,751 --> 01:03:15,251 You said it again 1301 01:03:16,792 --> 01:03:18,209 "Fucking this overseas Chinese girl is so much trouble" 1302 01:03:18,209 --> 01:03:20,251 What kind of machine is this?! 1303 01:03:21,292 --> 01:03:24,251 I really said, "Fuck", break, 1304 01:03:24,251 --> 01:03:25,709 then exclamation mark 1305 01:03:25,959 --> 01:03:27,501 "This overseas Chinese girl is so much trouble". 1306 01:03:27,501 --> 01:03:28,459 That's it 1307 01:03:28,959 --> 01:03:30,959 I clearly heard it without the break 1308 01:03:30,959 --> 01:03:32,501 Anyway, we already recorded it 1309 01:03:32,709 --> 01:03:33,959 So I have to remind you again 1310 01:03:33,959 --> 01:03:35,834 You must think carefully before you speak 1311 01:03:40,084 --> 01:03:41,792 Dear Officer Leung 1312 01:03:41,792 --> 01:03:42,959 As a man 1313 01:03:42,959 --> 01:03:45,959 why would I tell a woman to go...diving? 1314 01:03:46,626 --> 01:03:48,792 If I really wanted to harass her, I'd tell her to suck...! 1315 01:03:50,334 --> 01:03:51,417 Look at me 1316 01:03:51,959 --> 01:03:53,834 And where would I find this... 1317 01:03:54,542 --> 01:03:56,959 female...organ for her? 1318 01:03:57,876 --> 01:04:01,417 All I said was that her work performance is nosecliving! 1319 01:04:03,751 --> 01:04:05,501 According to Ms. Lau's statement 1320 01:04:05,501 --> 01:04:08,959 Mr. To, you know Ms. Lau does yoga regularly 1321 01:04:09,126 --> 01:04:11,167 And in your voice message, 1322 01:04:11,167 --> 01:04:12,501 you told her to get bent 1323 01:04:12,917 --> 01:04:14,542 I have reason to believe that 1324 01:04:14,542 --> 01:04:17,792 you think her body is more flexible than normal 1325 01:04:18,084 --> 01:04:19,834 so she can do that particular movement 1326 01:04:21,501 --> 01:04:23,959 Mr. To, I'd like to remind you that 1327 01:04:23,959 --> 01:04:25,959 during the investigation, you cannot contact the complainant 1328 01:04:25,959 --> 01:04:27,834 and you have no right to fire her 1329 01:04:27,959 --> 01:04:30,251 Otherwise we will pass the case to the Labour Department 1330 01:04:33,251 --> 01:04:35,084 Fuck! This overseas Chinese girl is so much trouble 1331 01:04:56,459 --> 01:04:57,792 "nosediving" 1332 01:04:59,709 --> 01:05:00,959 Guangzhou Language Dictionary: 1333 01:05:01,292 --> 01:05:04,751 "To nosedive is to make a sudden downward plunge" 1334 01:05:04,959 --> 01:05:05,917 "nosediving" refers to 1335 01:05:05,917 --> 01:05:09,376 rashness, irresponsibility and lacking seriousness 1336 01:05:09,376 --> 01:05:13,959 You cannot contact me. You cannot fire me 1337 01:05:13,959 --> 01:05:16,001 "Nosediving" isn't a bad word! 1338 01:05:17,167 --> 01:05:20,209 After all this talk, a producer's duty is to look for money and actors 1339 01:05:20,209 --> 01:05:22,876 Once the film starts shooting, a producer doesn't do much 1340 01:05:23,084 --> 01:05:24,959 All remaining responsibilities go to the director 1341 01:05:25,167 --> 01:05:28,167 The way you see it is too simple 1342 01:05:28,959 --> 01:05:31,626 Once the movie starts shooting, the producer gets even busier 1343 01:05:35,251 --> 01:05:35,959 Producer! 1344 01:05:36,626 --> 01:05:37,292 Director! 1345 01:05:38,334 --> 01:05:40,001 Why are there so many Indians here? 1346 01:05:40,001 --> 01:05:41,417 They're Pakistanis 1347 01:05:41,417 --> 01:05:42,417 What's the difference? 1348 01:05:42,876 --> 01:05:44,334 You're filming an erotic period film 1349 01:05:44,501 --> 01:05:45,501 why do you need so many Indians? 1350 01:05:46,292 --> 01:05:48,709 They're illegal workers. I'm trying to help you save on costs 1351 01:05:48,959 --> 01:05:50,042 You helping me to save money? 1352 01:05:50,042 --> 01:05:51,376 I'm fucking different now 1353 01:05:51,376 --> 01:05:53,376 I promise, this film won't go overbudget 1354 01:05:53,959 --> 01:05:55,001 Really? Absolutely 1355 01:05:56,292 --> 01:05:57,667 The actors have arrived Who? 1356 01:05:57,667 --> 01:05:59,292 Take a look and you'll know who it is 1357 01:06:13,209 --> 01:06:13,959 Hi 1358 01:06:14,959 --> 01:06:15,959 Just say it 1359 01:06:19,126 --> 01:06:20,959 I'm making an awesome new film 1360 01:06:20,959 --> 01:06:25,167 I expect it'll make at least $50 million 1361 01:06:25,751 --> 01:06:26,626 Well, that's how I feel 1362 01:06:27,167 --> 01:06:30,459 But along the way there are some difficulties 1363 01:06:31,001 --> 01:06:32,959 I need to advance some money first 1364 01:06:33,917 --> 01:06:36,209 You know how much I have, which is nearly nothing 1365 01:06:37,292 --> 01:06:39,042 It's why I need to talk to you 1366 01:06:40,667 --> 01:06:45,251 Do you think the alimony payment can be put on hold for a year? 1367 01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:48,167 You're so capable. It won't be a big deal for you 1368 01:06:48,709 --> 01:06:50,001 Not that I won't pay it, I will! 1369 01:06:50,292 --> 01:06:51,959 But I'd like to do it all in one go 1370 01:06:52,167 --> 01:06:54,292 Once the film is released and I have money 1371 01:06:54,292 --> 01:06:56,417 I'll even add interests 1372 01:06:57,459 --> 01:06:58,751 ...and I'd like to borrow $300,000 as well 1373 01:07:02,959 --> 01:07:04,001 How many years have we known each other? 1374 01:07:05,792 --> 01:07:06,459 Twenty years! 1375 01:07:07,042 --> 01:07:08,584 I used to drink malted soy milk 1376 01:07:08,584 --> 01:07:09,626 but I'm not gonna drink it forever 1377 01:07:10,126 --> 01:07:10,959 During high school 1378 01:07:10,959 --> 01:07:12,709 you saw so many movies you couldn't buy lunch 1379 01:07:12,709 --> 01:07:13,959 so you borrowed from me 1380 01:07:14,251 --> 01:07:15,417 After so many years 1381 01:07:15,417 --> 01:07:17,209 you still can't earn a living from movies 1382 01:07:17,209 --> 01:07:18,292 Don't you think that's a problem? 1383 01:07:18,959 --> 01:07:20,834 No! It's because... 1384 01:07:20,834 --> 01:07:23,209 that fucking director, he went overbudget 1385 01:07:23,209 --> 01:07:24,959 Otherwise I wouldn't be begging you 1386 01:07:25,959 --> 01:07:28,959 OK. I can hold the alimony payment for a year 1387 01:07:29,542 --> 01:07:31,001 I'll even lend you that $300,000 1388 01:07:31,126 --> 01:07:32,501 But you must promise me one thing 1389 01:07:32,834 --> 01:07:33,959 You can't see your daughter for a year 1390 01:07:34,834 --> 01:07:36,001 Why can't I see my daughter? 1391 01:07:36,001 --> 01:07:38,167 If you really care for her, then you shouldn't see her 1392 01:07:38,959 --> 01:07:40,584 You should know yourself clearly 1393 01:07:40,584 --> 01:07:42,042 At this age, Jacqueline 1394 01:07:42,042 --> 01:07:44,167 will learn everything from her parents, both good and bad 1395 01:07:44,834 --> 01:07:47,126 Jacqueline was already congenitally affected by you 1396 01:07:47,126 --> 01:07:49,917 She's short. Her IQ is lowered because of you 1397 01:07:50,501 --> 01:07:53,834 Fine. These things can't be changed now 1398 01:07:53,959 --> 01:07:55,959 But can we not let other affect her? 1399 01:07:56,501 --> 01:07:58,459 You let her meet your friends 1400 01:07:58,959 --> 01:08:00,292 She shouldn't even see those people 1401 01:08:00,292 --> 01:08:01,959 And I don't want you taking her to see them 1402 01:08:01,959 --> 01:08:03,667 When was I a bad influence? 1403 01:08:03,959 --> 01:08:04,876 I don't want to argue with you 1404 01:08:05,709 --> 01:08:06,959 Call me if you want the cheque 1405 01:08:08,876 --> 01:08:09,959 How about these malted soy milk? 1406 01:08:10,126 --> 01:08:11,042 Save it for your teenage girls 1407 01:08:14,626 --> 01:08:15,459 How are you, Yum Yum? 1408 01:08:16,084 --> 01:08:18,126 It does fit you well 1409 01:08:19,209 --> 01:08:20,584 Cheung, you're really something 1410 01:08:21,959 --> 01:08:23,167 You can even think of something like this 1411 01:08:23,167 --> 01:08:24,501 What else I can do? 1412 01:08:24,501 --> 01:08:27,042 Our boss loves you so much, I have to make it work 1413 01:08:27,042 --> 01:08:28,167 Don't worry 1414 01:08:28,167 --> 01:08:31,376 Your body-double Tsui Ka-yan is famous for her hourglass figure 1415 01:08:31,376 --> 01:08:33,959 Her chest looks like it's carrying two pots 1416 01:08:34,209 --> 01:08:34,959 Did you meet her? 1417 01:08:35,251 --> 01:08:38,001 Yes, we met. But she's too busy to entertain me 1418 01:08:38,001 --> 01:08:38,834 Why? 1419 01:08:38,834 --> 01:08:39,917 A young girl like her 1420 01:08:39,917 --> 01:08:43,959 would rather fool around with the main actor 1421 01:08:44,292 --> 01:08:45,001 Really? 1422 01:08:49,501 --> 01:08:52,959 Yamete! Yamete! 1423 01:08:52,959 --> 01:08:54,584 Motto Motto 1424 01:08:54,959 --> 01:08:56,042 That's right. 1425 01:08:56,251 --> 01:08:57,584 Yamete! Motto! 1426 01:08:58,251 --> 01:09:01,126 That means "Stop it" and "More" 1427 01:09:01,959 --> 01:09:05,834 Actually those are hard to do. You know what I mean? 1428 01:09:07,292 --> 01:09:08,042 Hi, Producer 1429 01:09:08,042 --> 01:09:09,959 You're finally here. Yes! 1430 01:09:09,959 --> 01:09:11,709 I've been waiting all morning and you just arrived 1431 01:09:11,709 --> 01:09:14,626 I've been here for a while, but you were busy with others 1432 01:09:15,626 --> 01:09:17,542 Hey, Hiro. ls acting that hard? 1433 01:09:18,167 --> 01:09:21,667 Even off-screen, you still need to hold hands? 1434 01:09:23,667 --> 01:09:24,626 Only because it's in the script 1435 01:09:25,292 --> 01:09:27,001 Mr. Hayama is teaching me how to emote 1436 01:09:27,001 --> 01:09:29,251 He said it'll give me more film roles 1437 01:09:30,959 --> 01:09:33,709 I'm afraid that's not all he wants to give 1438 01:09:34,959 --> 01:09:36,751 I'll go for my makeup. You guys chat 1439 01:09:37,251 --> 01:09:37,959 Bye 1440 01:09:45,876 --> 01:09:46,626 Hey 1441 01:09:48,334 --> 01:09:50,626 Thanks for giving me this opportunity 1442 01:09:51,959 --> 01:09:55,209 Despite the lovemaking scenes, and the green mask 1443 01:09:55,959 --> 01:09:57,167 everyone treats me so well 1444 01:09:57,376 --> 01:10:00,042 I feel like this is a new beginning in my career 1445 01:10:00,959 --> 01:10:01,834 Thank you 1446 01:10:04,751 --> 01:10:08,709 No need to thank me. You have so many friends here 1447 01:10:08,917 --> 01:10:10,376 It's like you're home 1448 01:10:16,084 --> 01:10:17,209 That's in the past 1449 01:10:18,709 --> 01:10:21,542 In my heart there's only you 1450 01:10:23,959 --> 01:10:24,792 It's true 1451 01:10:26,959 --> 01:10:27,834 Talk to you later 1452 01:10:33,376 --> 01:10:35,126 Hey, Producer. Running smoothly? 1453 01:10:35,126 --> 01:10:35,959 Very smooth. What's up? 1454 01:10:36,626 --> 01:10:38,542 Hey, there's something we should talk about 1455 01:10:38,542 --> 01:10:41,959 Brother Tyrannosaurus said this is his first film investment 1456 01:10:41,959 --> 01:10:44,209 Is it possible to give a role to his girl? 1457 01:10:44,209 --> 01:10:45,917 Which boss doesn't have a girlfriend? 1458 01:10:45,917 --> 01:10:48,667 Which boss doesn't want his girl in movies? 1459 01:10:48,667 --> 01:10:50,959 I understand. But couldn't this come up earlier? 1460 01:10:51,334 --> 01:10:53,001 We shot half of it already 1461 01:10:53,167 --> 01:10:56,542 I know, I know. It doesn't matter how big or small the role is 1462 01:10:56,626 --> 01:10:58,501 The boss understands, he doesn't mind 1463 01:10:58,501 --> 01:10:59,501 It's just a consideration 1464 01:10:59,501 --> 01:11:00,959 So fucking troublesome 1465 01:11:00,959 --> 01:11:02,667 What clothes you want her to wear? 1466 01:11:02,667 --> 01:11:03,584 Just wear nothing then 1467 01:11:03,584 --> 01:11:04,167 OK! 1468 01:11:10,001 --> 01:11:11,501 What the fuck? 1469 01:11:13,834 --> 01:11:14,417 Producer! 1470 01:11:14,959 --> 01:11:16,542 What the fuck is that? 1471 01:11:18,459 --> 01:11:20,126 This is sister-in-law. You've met before 1472 01:11:21,959 --> 01:11:22,959 Didn't I tell you that 1473 01:11:22,959 --> 01:11:24,292 Brother Tyrannosaurus wants her in the film? 1474 01:11:24,292 --> 01:11:25,126 When? 1475 01:11:25,126 --> 01:11:27,626 You said it was for Brother Tyrannosaurus' girl 1476 01:11:27,959 --> 01:11:30,001 I said Brother Tyrannosaurus' mule 1477 01:11:30,959 --> 01:11:34,209 No, you said it was his girl! 1478 01:11:34,209 --> 01:11:35,251 I said his mule! 1479 01:11:35,417 --> 01:11:36,209 What?! 1480 01:11:36,209 --> 01:11:38,167 Doesn't matter if you heard it wrong or I said it wrong 1481 01:11:38,167 --> 01:11:39,917 you know Brother Tyrannosaurus' taste 1482 01:11:39,917 --> 01:11:41,417 If it's his girl, then it's a mule! 1483 01:11:42,251 --> 01:11:42,959 Also 1484 01:11:42,959 --> 01:11:44,459 like you requested, 1485 01:11:44,459 --> 01:11:45,959 you asked if she could wear nothing 1486 01:11:45,959 --> 01:11:47,042 Now she's wearing nothing. I removed them 1487 01:11:47,584 --> 01:11:50,334 So you should talk to the director and give her a better role 1488 01:11:50,334 --> 01:11:51,751 She must have some dialogue 1489 01:11:52,959 --> 01:11:54,584 but don't give her too much 1490 01:11:54,792 --> 01:11:56,251 She has trouble talking 1491 01:11:56,251 --> 01:11:58,417 she may get confused 1492 01:11:59,042 --> 01:12:03,167 Mr. Lui, what the fuck did I do wrong? 1493 01:12:04,084 --> 01:12:06,251 Did I kill your whole family in a previous life? 1494 01:12:06,251 --> 01:12:07,959 Or did I fuck you in the ass? 1495 01:12:11,959 --> 01:12:14,042 Fuck you 1496 01:12:15,542 --> 01:12:16,542 Fuck you 1497 01:12:26,792 --> 01:12:29,751 Director, let me introduce a brand new star to you 1498 01:12:30,251 --> 01:12:31,501 A huge change is coming to the film industry 1499 01:12:38,834 --> 01:12:39,251 What's up? 1500 01:12:39,251 --> 01:12:42,084 Daddy, did you go to jail? 1501 01:12:42,292 --> 01:12:43,542 Why am I in jail? 1502 01:12:43,959 --> 01:12:46,959 Mommy said you'll go overseas for a while 1503 01:12:46,959 --> 01:12:49,209 Even next year I won't get to see you 1504 01:12:49,626 --> 01:12:54,626 Mary said she saw many movies with a similar plot 1505 01:12:54,626 --> 01:12:56,959 It means daddy has gone to jail 1506 01:12:56,959 --> 01:12:59,501 Daddy, what did you do wrong? 1507 01:13:01,126 --> 01:13:04,334 Don't listen to your mom. She's crazy 1508 01:13:04,334 --> 01:13:07,667 What jail? Daddy just needs to go overseas to make a film 1509 01:13:07,959 --> 01:13:11,959 Daddy, although I'm not very smart, I'm not stupid either 1510 01:13:11,959 --> 01:13:13,584 Don't lie to me 1511 01:13:13,584 --> 01:13:17,334 You won't see me for so long, so you must be going to jail 1512 01:13:17,334 --> 01:13:20,167 Mary said she saw many films about prisons 1513 01:13:20,167 --> 01:13:22,709 She said that if daddy goes to jail 1514 01:13:22,709 --> 01:13:26,042 I must tell you to be careful of one thing 1515 01:13:26,126 --> 01:13:27,167 Careful of what? 1516 01:13:27,584 --> 01:13:30,917 She said if you take a shower and drop your soap 1517 01:13:30,917 --> 01:13:33,209 don't bend down to pick it up 1518 01:13:33,209 --> 01:13:36,501 Otherwise, something horrible will happen 1519 01:13:36,792 --> 01:13:39,084 I asked her whether a ghost would appear 1520 01:13:39,084 --> 01:13:40,459 but she wouldn't say 1521 01:13:40,959 --> 01:13:43,959 So I think it must be something really horrible 1522 01:13:44,167 --> 01:13:48,751 So Daddy, remember not to bend down 1523 01:13:48,751 --> 01:13:49,584 Remember 1524 01:13:51,209 --> 01:13:52,834 Daddy promises you two things 1525 01:13:52,834 --> 01:13:55,167 First, Daddy's not going to jail 1526 01:13:55,792 --> 01:13:57,084 and I'll be able to see you 1527 01:13:57,084 --> 01:13:59,126 Second, in case Daddy really goes to jail 1528 01:13:59,126 --> 01:14:00,459 I won't bend down to pick up the soap 1529 01:14:00,584 --> 01:14:02,667 Even if I drop the soap, I simply just won't shower. OK? 1530 01:14:03,501 --> 01:14:04,167 OK 1531 01:14:05,292 --> 01:14:05,959 Bye bye 1532 01:14:23,167 --> 01:14:26,001 This is Barrister Tsang Lai-fun, I can't answer your call right now 1533 01:14:26,001 --> 01:14:27,876 Please leave your message after the tone 1534 01:14:28,626 --> 01:14:29,459 Three things: 1535 01:14:29,459 --> 01:14:31,959 One: The thing I asked you before? 1536 01:14:31,959 --> 01:14:33,334 Pretend I never said it 1537 01:14:33,334 --> 01:14:34,876 I'll pay the alimony 1538 01:14:35,209 --> 01:14:38,292 Two: I won't give up seeing Jacqueline 1539 01:14:38,709 --> 01:14:40,959 Three: Jacqueline is not really that short 1540 01:14:59,334 --> 01:15:00,209 Hey, Brother Hiro! 1541 01:15:01,959 --> 01:15:04,959 Fireworks Lau, why you are here? 1542 01:15:04,959 --> 01:15:08,917 Long time no see. Blackie Tak asked me to work here 1543 01:15:10,709 --> 01:15:11,959 Hey, ever since "Sexy Zen" 1544 01:15:11,959 --> 01:15:13,751 we haven't seen each other for some time 1545 01:15:14,167 --> 01:15:15,042 Yes, a few months 1546 01:15:15,959 --> 01:15:17,542 Things are so dull now 1547 01:15:17,542 --> 01:15:20,834 The props crew always want to go for a massage 1548 01:15:20,834 --> 01:15:23,959 What massage? It's just a "special massage" 1549 01:15:23,959 --> 01:15:26,251 What's so great about getting a hand job? 1550 01:15:26,251 --> 01:15:28,167 Every guy knows how to do it 1551 01:15:28,167 --> 01:15:29,876 If you can't "blow" your load 1552 01:15:29,876 --> 01:15:32,042 then you should consult Fireworks Lau, right? 1553 01:15:32,667 --> 01:15:34,376 So I asked those props guys 1554 01:15:34,959 --> 01:15:36,542 Why pay someone to give you hand jobs? 1555 01:15:37,709 --> 01:15:43,209 They say it's a different experience getting a handjob 1556 01:15:43,209 --> 01:15:45,959 If you do it yourself, then you know everything 1557 01:15:45,959 --> 01:15:49,292 like where to shoot and when it's almost ready. So boring! 1558 01:15:50,126 --> 01:15:52,459 Hey, they are props experts 1559 01:15:52,459 --> 01:15:54,959 If they encounter a problem, why can't they find a solution? 1560 01:15:55,251 --> 01:15:58,459 Later, I worked it out. Do you want to know how? 1561 01:15:58,459 --> 01:15:59,251 Brother Hiro! O2:15:59:07 O2:15:59:26 PO Pauline! 1562 01:15:59,959 --> 01:16:02,626 Good morning. Other tea ladies give you green tea 1563 01:16:02,626 --> 01:16:03,959 because you're Japanese 1564 01:16:03,959 --> 01:16:05,917 But if you really liked Japan 1565 01:16:05,917 --> 01:16:07,292 they why would you come to Hong Kong? 1566 01:16:07,292 --> 01:16:08,251 So I made you 1567 01:16:08,251 --> 01:16:09,167 pu'er tea 1568 01:16:10,959 --> 01:16:12,084 Thanks Enjoy! 1569 01:16:13,584 --> 01:16:16,251 Do you want to know? Wanna know? You want to! 1570 01:16:17,626 --> 01:16:19,626 I only recommend it to friends like you 1571 01:16:19,917 --> 01:16:21,959 It's so easy: find a hard chair 1572 01:16:22,167 --> 01:16:25,709 put your hands on the chair, and sit on them! 1573 01:16:25,709 --> 01:16:26,334 10 minutes 1574 01:16:26,542 --> 01:16:29,876 until your hands have no blood circulation and feel tingly 1575 01:16:30,084 --> 01:16:31,542 Your hands won't feel like yours 1576 01:16:31,542 --> 01:16:33,084 This is when you start to jerking off 1577 01:16:34,959 --> 01:16:36,501 The feeling is really amazing 1578 01:16:36,501 --> 01:16:38,376 Think about it, they are your hands 1579 01:16:38,376 --> 01:16:40,334 but they won't feel like your hands 1580 01:16:40,334 --> 01:16:42,292 Interesting, right? Isn't it a great idea? 1581 01:16:42,292 --> 01:16:47,792 I even thought of patenting this method 1582 01:16:47,792 --> 01:16:50,417 I asked a lawyer, who said applying for a patent is easy 1583 01:16:50,417 --> 01:16:54,917 The problem is how to charge people money 1584 01:16:54,917 --> 01:17:01,251 They won't tell others afterwards. What can I do? 1585 01:17:02,959 --> 01:17:05,292 I don't know. I need to go back to work 1586 01:17:05,292 --> 01:17:08,959 If you can't think of a solution, then try it first. OK? 1587 01:17:08,959 --> 01:17:12,126 Try it tonight. I won't charge you until after you try it 1588 01:17:12,126 --> 01:17:13,584 What the fuck? 1589 01:17:13,584 --> 01:17:17,084 How could you order chicken rice without any chicken wings? 1590 01:17:17,542 --> 01:17:19,209 Hey! You lied to me? 1591 01:17:20,917 --> 01:17:21,959 How did I lie to you? 1592 01:17:22,459 --> 01:17:24,959 You said there'd be no exploding body parts 1593 01:17:24,959 --> 01:17:27,126 Why would we suddenly have exploding body parts? 1594 01:17:27,126 --> 01:17:29,501 Then why is Fireworks Lau here? 1595 01:17:30,792 --> 01:17:32,626 What fireworks? How come I don't know? 1596 01:17:32,626 --> 01:17:34,834 Stop pretending. I'm not shooting any more 1597 01:17:34,959 --> 01:17:36,917 Hey, listen to me first 1598 01:17:36,917 --> 01:17:37,792 Go away! 1599 01:17:49,667 --> 01:17:51,042 Cheung! Cheung! 1600 01:17:51,042 --> 01:17:53,959 Producer? Producer? 1601 01:18:01,251 --> 01:18:02,001 He's awake! 1602 01:18:02,626 --> 01:18:08,167 Cheung! Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Cheung! 1603 01:18:09,751 --> 01:18:10,542 We're shooting tomorrow? 1604 01:18:10,542 --> 01:18:12,417 What film? The film already wrapped 1605 01:18:13,167 --> 01:18:14,959 Huh? So fast? 1606 01:18:15,417 --> 01:18:18,126 It's not fast. You passed out for three months 1607 01:18:18,126 --> 01:18:19,209 So fucking long? 1608 01:18:19,459 --> 01:18:21,126 Yeah. Did you know how dangerous it was? 1609 01:18:21,126 --> 01:18:23,084 Your heart stopped several times 1610 01:18:23,667 --> 01:18:24,917 Like a dead fish 1611 01:18:24,917 --> 01:18:26,334 The doctor told us to stimulate you 1612 01:18:26,334 --> 01:18:27,959 play you your favourite music 1613 01:18:27,959 --> 01:18:29,917 and have people talk into your ears 1614 01:18:29,917 --> 01:18:31,626 But there were no reactions at all 1615 01:18:31,626 --> 01:18:32,959 Luckily, Yan was there 1616 01:18:34,959 --> 01:18:37,001 What did you say to me? 1617 01:18:37,751 --> 01:18:39,626 I swallowed some popping candy 1618 01:18:39,959 --> 01:18:43,126 and went "bulubulu" to your ears 1619 01:18:43,501 --> 01:18:46,459 Yeah. And it worked! Once you heard the popping candy sound 1620 01:18:46,459 --> 01:18:48,751 your heart would start beating like crazy 1621 01:18:49,167 --> 01:18:50,126 The doctor was shocked 1622 01:18:50,751 --> 01:18:51,959 No wonder 1623 01:18:51,959 --> 01:18:55,751 I kept dreaming about your popping candy blowjobs 1624 01:18:55,751 --> 01:18:57,042 But in fact, you were really 1625 01:18:57,042 --> 01:18:58,959 just going "bulubulu" next to me 1626 01:18:58,959 --> 01:19:01,959 No, actually, when the nurses were not around 1627 01:19:01,959 --> 01:19:03,751 I really did blow you 1628 01:19:05,959 --> 01:19:07,001 You are so good to me 1629 01:19:07,792 --> 01:19:09,126 Why would I treat you badly? 1630 01:19:10,959 --> 01:19:14,959 You're the only person in the industry I truly wanted to blow 1631 01:19:17,584 --> 01:19:18,876 How about Hiro Hayama? 1632 01:19:18,959 --> 01:19:20,042 There's nothing between us 1633 01:19:20,251 --> 01:19:21,542 Don't lie to me 1634 01:19:21,542 --> 01:19:24,626 I always saw you two together on the set 1635 01:19:24,626 --> 01:19:26,209 whispering to each other 1636 01:19:27,084 --> 01:19:28,709 You two must have something 1637 01:19:28,959 --> 01:19:31,042 What? I was only chatting with him 1638 01:19:31,792 --> 01:19:34,584 He volunteered to help me translate my proposal 1639 01:19:36,667 --> 01:19:37,501 What proposal? 1640 01:19:37,959 --> 01:19:41,376 It's the jerking off video game I kept on talking about 1641 01:19:42,376 --> 01:19:43,959 I've been talking about it for years 1642 01:19:44,709 --> 01:19:46,959 Now I finally have a proposal 1643 01:19:47,834 --> 01:19:49,584 So he helped to translate it for me 1644 01:19:50,542 --> 01:19:52,959 and even sent it to a Japanese video game company 1645 01:19:53,917 --> 01:19:54,959 They're interested! 1646 01:19:54,959 --> 01:19:56,959 Next week I'm flying to Tokyo to meet them 1647 01:19:56,959 --> 01:19:58,417 Oh that's great! 1648 01:19:58,959 --> 01:20:00,834 Cheung, it's good that you woke up 1649 01:20:00,834 --> 01:20:03,167 Blackie Tak has already finished editing the film 1650 01:20:03,167 --> 01:20:05,959 Tomorrow Brother Tyrannosaurus will come down to see it 1651 01:20:05,959 --> 01:20:07,001 Fantastic! 1652 01:20:07,001 --> 01:20:07,667 All done! 1653 01:20:08,209 --> 01:20:10,251 Excellent! I'm so happy 1654 01:20:10,251 --> 01:20:12,126 I woke up and it's all fucking done! 1655 01:20:14,042 --> 01:20:15,376 What? The film's still finished? 1656 01:20:15,376 --> 01:20:16,501 So why do they need you? 1657 01:20:16,501 --> 01:20:17,959 Of course we were done 1658 01:20:17,959 --> 01:20:21,209 But the real problems started after that 1659 01:20:52,959 --> 01:20:55,667 Great! Great film! 1660 01:20:55,876 --> 01:20:59,959 Which genius took my goddess Yum Yum's head 1661 01:21:00,376 --> 01:21:02,876 and pasting it onto a teenage girl's body? 1662 01:21:03,667 --> 01:21:04,417 I did, Brother Tyrannosaurus 1663 01:21:05,167 --> 01:21:07,959 Producer, what's your family origins? 1664 01:21:07,959 --> 01:21:08,959 Hakka 1665 01:21:08,959 --> 01:21:10,501 (in Hakka) You fucking asshole 1666 01:21:10,959 --> 01:21:14,959 I fucking wanted to see my goddess Yum Yum's nipples 1667 01:21:14,959 --> 01:21:18,501 Why not replace her head with the girl's instead? 1668 01:21:19,292 --> 01:21:20,084 Your taste is so extreme? 1669 01:21:20,084 --> 01:21:21,376 Brother Tyrannosaurus 1670 01:21:21,376 --> 01:21:22,959 Modern technology is very advanced 1671 01:21:22,959 --> 01:21:25,084 We can re-do the whole film on a computer 1672 01:21:25,917 --> 01:21:27,792 How about I use a computer to redo your mother? 1673 01:21:28,042 --> 01:21:30,667 I wanted to make "Confessions of Two Concubines" 1674 01:21:30,959 --> 01:21:33,709 How did it turn into this al-Qaeda stuff? 1675 01:21:33,959 --> 01:21:35,167 Brother Tyrannosaurus, the fact is 1676 01:21:36,001 --> 01:21:38,959 When the film was half-finished, I was in a coma 1677 01:21:39,459 --> 01:21:42,126 The director got a bit creative and amended parts of it 1678 01:21:42,126 --> 01:21:42,959 Also! 1679 01:21:44,959 --> 01:21:45,959 My woman... 1680 01:21:48,501 --> 01:21:50,626 Big Brother, please don't be so sad 1681 01:21:50,626 --> 01:21:52,751 Brother Tyrannosaurus, regarding Sister-in-Law's accident 1682 01:21:52,751 --> 01:21:54,751 we deeply express our regret 1683 01:21:59,959 --> 01:22:01,376 I still remember 1684 01:22:03,959 --> 01:22:06,334 That day, you were begging me 1685 01:22:06,917 --> 01:22:09,792 to let my woman perform 1686 01:22:11,292 --> 01:22:13,959 I never thought that when I sent her off 1687 01:22:14,209 --> 01:22:15,959 it would be the last time I see her 1688 01:22:15,959 --> 01:22:18,334 Who was looking after her? 1689 01:22:18,959 --> 01:22:19,959 Do you know how to make a films?! 1690 01:22:20,126 --> 01:22:22,292 We really followed strict safety requirements 1691 01:22:22,292 --> 01:22:25,626 But I don't know why the donkey walked into that explosion heap 1692 01:22:25,626 --> 01:22:27,292 She's not a donkey! 1693 01:22:27,709 --> 01:22:28,792 Mule! 1694 01:22:28,792 --> 01:22:29,751 No! 1695 01:22:30,292 --> 01:22:31,042 Sister-in-Law! 1696 01:22:31,042 --> 01:22:31,959 Sister-in-Law 1697 01:22:33,584 --> 01:22:35,417 No one wants to see this film 1698 01:22:35,417 --> 01:22:37,501 This film is actually using a postposition approach 1699 01:22:38,542 --> 01:22:40,792 to pass through illusion and reality 1700 01:22:40,792 --> 01:22:42,834 Those post-90s kids will like it 1701 01:22:42,834 --> 01:22:44,001 Can you stop talking shit? 1702 01:22:44,001 --> 01:22:46,584 Post-90s? Post 90 years old! 1703 01:22:48,959 --> 01:22:49,584 Burn the film! 1704 01:22:49,959 --> 01:22:51,501 I can't fucking stand 1705 01:22:51,501 --> 01:22:53,959 people watching my woman blow up 1706 01:22:53,959 --> 01:22:56,001 Keung, we're going straight back to Guangxi 1707 01:22:56,959 --> 01:22:58,334 Call up everyone 1708 01:22:58,334 --> 01:23:00,626 Get a hall full of tables for my woman's memorial 1709 01:23:01,084 --> 01:23:03,959 Tell the restaurant to save some cow bliss for us 1710 01:23:04,459 --> 01:23:05,376 What about the snow peas? 1711 01:23:07,292 --> 01:23:10,959 Snow peas are for frying with pig's pussy. That's the correct recipe! 1712 01:23:12,376 --> 01:23:13,376 So what's cow's pussy fried with? 1713 01:23:14,959 --> 01:23:15,959 Preserved vegetables! 1714 01:23:16,959 --> 01:23:18,042 Fucking remember that 1715 01:23:21,792 --> 01:23:22,417 So what happens? 1716 01:23:22,584 --> 01:23:23,626 Yeah, what can you do? 1717 01:23:24,292 --> 01:23:25,417 Yes, what happens next? 1718 01:23:25,792 --> 01:23:27,959 In order to change Brother Tyrannosaurus' mind, it's simple 1719 01:23:27,959 --> 01:23:29,959 If we get audiences to become aware of this film 1720 01:23:29,959 --> 01:23:31,001 then we have a chance 1721 01:23:31,001 --> 01:23:32,667 But he told you to burn it 1722 01:23:32,667 --> 01:23:33,959 How would audiences know about it? 1723 01:23:33,959 --> 01:23:34,959 Just like I said earlier 1724 01:23:35,459 --> 01:23:36,959 at this very moment, you should ask yourself 1725 01:23:37,626 --> 01:23:39,792 what would you sacrifice for your film? 1726 01:23:40,042 --> 01:23:41,167 Producer, can you tell us then 1727 01:23:41,167 --> 01:23:42,417 what you have sacrificed? 1728 01:23:45,167 --> 01:23:46,959 Today, I sacrificed myself 1729 01:23:47,959 --> 01:23:48,959 for the interest of this film 1730 01:23:49,792 --> 01:23:50,959 I told all of you 1731 01:23:50,959 --> 01:23:54,542 my most shameful, hidden secrets 1732 01:23:55,001 --> 01:23:55,959 I revealed them all 1733 01:23:56,417 --> 01:23:59,209 Producer, we only have a few hundred people here 1734 01:23:59,209 --> 01:24:00,876 It's not gonna help much 1735 01:24:02,001 --> 01:24:03,459 There's something you don't know 1736 01:24:03,459 --> 01:24:04,792 You underestimate your students 1737 01:24:05,584 --> 01:24:08,417 After I told you to turn off the cameras 1738 01:24:11,292 --> 01:24:14,917 your students have been using their phones to record me 1739 01:24:20,501 --> 01:24:23,334 Some of them even posted it online immediately 1740 01:24:23,792 --> 01:24:25,001 Really? I didn't notice 1741 01:24:25,959 --> 01:24:28,917 Even in the last hour, I've been receiving 1742 01:24:28,917 --> 01:24:31,292 non-stop texts from magazine reporters 1743 01:24:31,792 --> 01:24:33,084 Moreover, our director Blackie Tak 1744 01:24:33,084 --> 01:24:35,417 has already posted the trailer online 1745 01:24:35,417 --> 01:24:37,959 In just an hour it got tens of thousands of hits 1746 01:24:39,959 --> 01:24:42,459 Amazing. You're good! 1747 01:24:46,209 --> 01:24:46,959 By the W3V 1748 01:24:47,959 --> 01:24:53,042 you mentioned the mule...remember? 1749 01:24:53,959 --> 01:24:56,584 You want to know if I fucked the mule, right? 1750 01:24:57,251 --> 01:25:00,584 Yes! Did you? 1751 01:25:03,459 --> 01:25:06,251 OK. Let me tell you the truth 1752 01:25:10,042 --> 01:25:10,959 I really lost that footage 1753 01:25:11,167 --> 01:25:12,292 FUCK you! 1754 01:26:07,001 --> 01:26:10,959 On the internet,Confessions of Two Concubines became a hot topic 1755 01:26:11,751 --> 01:26:14,334 Brother Tyrannosaurus changed his mind and agreed to release the film 1756 01:26:15,042 --> 01:26:16,584 Following the momentum we had built up 1757 01:26:16,959 --> 01:26:20,917 it can be said that our premiere was starry, colourful and impressive 1758 01:26:21,917 --> 01:26:23,042 Hey, we're waiting for your signature 1759 01:26:23,042 --> 01:26:27,084 Hurry up, Producer. Thank you, Boss 1760 01:26:42,251 --> 01:26:44,959 For this film, I gave up a lot 1761 01:26:46,751 --> 01:26:50,876 I want to dedicate this film to my lover 1762 01:26:58,959 --> 01:26:59,959 Big Brother, Big Brother! 1763 01:27:04,959 --> 01:27:05,959 Don't be so sad, Big Brother! 1764 01:27:08,917 --> 01:27:10,917 Hey, time's up. The film is about to start 1765 01:27:11,001 --> 01:27:11,959 Hey, hurry up 1766 01:27:11,959 --> 01:27:13,209 OK, I'm coming 1767 01:27:15,917 --> 01:27:17,626 I have never missed my own premiere 1768 01:27:18,751 --> 01:27:20,292 because filmmaking is a kind of vanity 1769 01:27:21,001 --> 01:27:23,501 You work so hard just so that, after the lights go down 1770 01:27:24,459 --> 01:27:25,709 we receive everyone's applause 1771 01:27:26,834 --> 01:27:27,959 Producer To, can we we have a quick chat? 1772 01:27:28,542 --> 01:27:29,876 Sorry, I' ve never been late before 1773 01:27:29,959 --> 01:27:30,959 Just a few words! 1774 01:27:30,959 --> 01:27:31,959 We're from "Entertainment Scoop" 1775 01:27:42,417 --> 01:27:43,251 What do you want to talk about? 1776 01:27:45,084 --> 01:27:46,876 There are plenty of mules 1777 01:27:46,876 --> 01:27:49,501 Brother Tyrannosaurus later found a new lover 1778 01:27:49,626 --> 01:27:50,626 He's no longer angry with us 1779 01:27:51,209 --> 01:27:53,042 Due to the success of "Confessions of Two Concubines" 1780 01:27:53,459 --> 01:27:55,959 Blackie Tak and I have been making one film after another 1781 01:27:56,209 --> 01:27:58,792 The "Confessions" series has reached its seventh instalment 1782 01:27:58,792 --> 01:28:00,501 "The Question of Concubines" 1783 01:28:00,876 --> 01:28:03,459 which was the runner-up for the Most Popular Erotic Film 1784 01:28:03,459 --> 01:28:06,042 at Italy's Udine Far East Film Festival 1785 01:28:06,459 --> 01:28:07,709 Finally we are being appreciated 1786 01:28:09,459 --> 01:28:11,667 A Japanese company not only bought 1787 01:28:11,667 --> 01:28:14,459 Popping Candy's game 1788 01:28:14,459 --> 01:28:15,959 She even became the game's representative 1789 01:28:15,959 --> 01:28:18,292 Look at her. What's she doing? 1790 01:28:18,417 --> 01:28:20,959 Is a thousand-hand goddess necessary for handjobs? 1791 01:28:21,417 --> 01:28:23,001 Once I have free time 1792 01:28:23,001 --> 01:28:25,084 I'll take Jacqueline with me to visit her in Japan 1793 01:28:25,417 --> 01:28:28,959 Of course,I won't forget to carry some popping candy with me 1794 01:28:30,626 --> 01:28:33,792 But there's one thing I really want to figure out 1795 01:28:35,209 --> 01:28:40,584 Imagine that everything is slowing down, slowing down 1796 01:28:42,084 --> 01:28:44,334 Your memory returns back to that night 1797 01:28:45,792 --> 01:28:50,834 Everything becomes slow, very slow 1798 01:28:52,959 --> 01:28:55,001 Your memory returns back to that night 1799 01:28:56,084 --> 01:29:00,834 Everything is slowing down, slowing down 1800 01:29:05,001 --> 01:29:07,126 What can you see now?