0 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000 1 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,601 [train horn honking] 2 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:34,117 ♪ Well, you know where I use my path ♪ 3 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,745 ♪ I'm a woman There's no time to talk ♪ 4 00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,539 ♪ Loud music and warm women ♪ 5 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,832 ♪ I've been kicked Since I was born ♪ 6 00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:43,293 ♪ And now it's okay It's okay ♪ 7 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,545 ♪ And you might look the other way ♪ 8 00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,673 ♪ We can try to understand ♪ 9 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,758 ♪ The New York Times effect on humans ♪ 10 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:51,903 ♪ Are you a brother? Or are you a mother ♪ 11 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,388 ♪ You stay alive, stay alive ♪ 12 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,324 ♪ Feel the city breakin & apos; And everyone shakin & apos; ♪ 13 00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:57,182 ♪ And we stay alive ♪ 14 00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,309 - One or two? - Let me get three 15 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:00,851 Three. 16 00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:02,938 How do you feel, Tracy 17 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,399 Who is Tracy? 18 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:12,406 ♪ Stay alive ♪ 19 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,455 ♪ Well, now I'm going down and I'm tall ♪ 20 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:22,749 ♪ And if I'm also can't get it I'm really trying ♪ 21 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:25,168 ♪ Got the wings of heaven in my shoes ♪ 22 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:26,712 Do you do layaway 23 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,880 What, what am I looks like a banker for you? 24 00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:30,674 I just made love to you 25 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:31,758 What? 26 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,114 ♪ Are you a brother? Or are you a mother ♪ 27 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:38,473 ♪ You stay alive, stay alive ♪ 28 00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,475 ♪ Feel the city breakin & apos; And everyone shakin & apos; ♪ 29 00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,936 ♪ And we stay, stay alive 30 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:45,397 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪ 31 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:52,404 ♪ Stay alive ♪ 32 00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:54,114 Aaah 33 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,826 [cheering, clapping] 34 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,223 Yes! 35 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:21,933 Blast! 36 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,395 Wow. That's a lot of love. 37 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,857 Yes, thank you 38 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,860 Thank you very much. Thank you. 39 00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:33,612 We can do it. 40 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,365 Everyone here knows I got hit With that pesky Walmart truck. 41 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:41,286 It could have been worse. 42 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:44,247 I could have been hit by a Bob Discount Furniture truck. 43 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:46,958 You know they have no bad luck. 44 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:52,214 Encouraged by some men named Rico. No license, no insurance. 45 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,757 No registration 46 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,093 INS is on his ass. 47 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,348 Saat berada di kursi roda itu, Saya masih berbelanja di Walmart. 48 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,269 You still can't beat the price. 49 00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:11,316 After my settlement, everything went up by one cent. 50 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:27,541 I'm still here. I didn't go down. But you know I'm not unlucky. 51 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,584 You know I'm not bad luck. 52 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:32,379 Because you know that expression, "Only the good are young." 53 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:37,384 God saw them angels taking me through the pearl gate, he said, "Uh-eh. 54 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,178 Bring the bastard back down. 55 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:45,392 He will do a total of 89 years, Damn he did in third grade. 56 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,478 Put a bag of doo-doo on the teacher's desk. 57 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,398 Just because he disappoints him < br /> in Social Studies. " 58 00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:55,485 When I'm in heaven, I see some people I know. 59 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,113 I saw Biggie Smalls. He looks good, losing weight. 60 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,992 Get diabetes under control, you know? 61 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,162 Elvis Presley still looks like bullshit 62 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,248 Can't leave fried food alone. 63 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,917 Ol & apos; Dirty Bastard already has ten new children. 64 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,964 Michael Jackson told me what really happened. 65 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,760 He said, "Tracy,
I died in that damn Pepsi ad. " 66 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,476 But the soup train was very good they had a similar look, 67 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,436 and the bastard went crazy. 68 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,105 Start dangling the baby from the window. 69 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,107 Namin & apos; & apos; em Blankets and blankets. 70 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:38,296 Then he starts telling me something about Lato and Bubbles. 71 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,040 I said, "Michael, I don't want to hear this. 72 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,699 Start from a bad place. " 73 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,535 I see some people there that I don't like. 74 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,371 I saw a man owed me money when he was alive 75 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,249 I asked God, "How can he enter heaven? He owes me money." 76 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,960 He said, "Your stupid donkey is the only who lent it to him. 77 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,255 Everyone knows Luther doesn't pay back. 78 00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:58,882 He's a crackhead. He's got an illness. 79 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:02,344 Now take your ass back to earth and be smarter with your money. " 80 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,805 And I said, " God works in a mysterious way. " 81 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,350 He also has questions for me. 82 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,144 One day he took out his cellphone and showed me your picture 83 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,522 Kim Kardashian naked on Instagram 84 00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,022 He said, "How can he be the titties and the ass? 85 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,400 I didn't give it to him. 86 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,113 And why did he show it? all over the world 87 00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:24,491 She's a married woman with two children. 88 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,577 Alright. At least she doesn't have it Ray J contingent inside him. " 89 00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:31,540 [laughs] 90 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:40,215 When I'm in that coma, I see white light. 91 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:43,593 I see white light. But I don't go For that I think it's a cop. 92 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,555 I have warrants, man. 93 00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:48,848 You can't enter heaven with priors. 94 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,435 Everything is included in the ledger. 95 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:53,937 Everything. 96 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,690 After my coma, right, before the accident... 97 00:05:57,399 --> 00:06:01,111 I was able swear it's three Kardashians, Kim, Khloé and Kourtney. 98 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:04,656 And after I'm out of coma, six of them are bastards. 99 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,952 And one of them won the decathlon in 1976. 100 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,793 Being in the Wheaties box like this. 101 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:24,301 Caitlyn is a hot MILF. I will fuck shit out of her. 102 00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:29,014 Caitlyn can get this dick. I will fuck shit out of him. 103 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,560 I'll get pregnant. 104 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:37,397 You know I'm old school. I don't pull out. 105 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:42,652 He may not have a vagina now, But when I finish sleeping with him, he will do it. 106 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,907 Prolaps dirt from the boot hole. 107 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,995 This is Caitlyn's butt here. 108 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,381 He has to go to the hospital use the kilt 109 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:07,177 "Um, excuse me, My donkey is hanging on my ass." 110 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:09,697 "You mean, "Do you suffer from hemorrhoids?" 111 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,057 "No, my ass is hanging on my ass." 112 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,058 "Oh, you have colitis." 113 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,185 ! " 114 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,646 "What's your name?" "Caitlyn." 115 00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,439 "How do you say it, with & apos; C & apos; K & apos;" " 116 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:20,732 " Bruce, bitch! " 117 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:30,784 I have severe injuries, you know? 118 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:33,954 Traumatic brain injury. 119 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:36,331 Look at every bone in my face, my ribs. 120 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,291 I destroy my thigh bone. 121 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,919 And through all that, I asked my doctor, I said, 122 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,295 "Is my penis okay? 123 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:47,050 I don't need a thigh bone, bastard. I need my dick. " 124 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:51,471 That would be terrible if you came out coma and doctor to be like, 125 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,139 " Father Morgan, your penis is cut off. " 126 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,767 I'll be like," Well, I'll be back in this comma, bastard. 127 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,771 Kill me, bastard < br /> What am I doing alive? " 128 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,356 I sue everyone. 129 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,484 Hospital, doctor, especially my wife 130 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,654 Because she always calls me selfless bastards. 131 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,413 Your pen is missing 132 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,915 And you are trying to be normal here. 133 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,971 Goin & apos; to the club, try to pick up a woman, 134 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,544 know that You can't do anything for them. 135 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:23,795 "Hey, what, honey? 136 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,880 Why don't you come to my house? 137 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:28,425 so I can rug- burn and scissors dirt from you 138 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:33,513 We will start the campfire Rub these coochies together. 139 00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,098 Come on. Let's rub it. 140 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,017 Keep rubbing 141 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,227 Oh, keep rubbing. 142 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,062 Oh, rub it. " 143 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:47,444 I'm from ghetto, man. I'm from the ghetto. 144 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:51,072 Dan setelah saya keluar dari koma, Aku buta selama seminggu. 145 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,867 And where I come from, you don't want to be blind for a second. 146 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:57,620 All kinds of garbage start to disappear in my hospital room 147 00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:01,374 One day my uncle trying to walk out with my fucking heart monitor. 148 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,520 I said, "Michael, where did you go with my heart machine?" 149 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,213 He said,
150 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,301 Trying to sell it to another hospital. 151 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,138 "Put back my heart machine, you fucking crackhead . " 152 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:25,726 When I came out of a coma, 153 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:29,778 My whole family came to the hospital to visit me just to say that they loved me. 154 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:33,698 My whole family came to tell me they love me. 155 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:35,408 Kecuali untuk nenekku. 156 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,745 Like every other black woman, All she cares about is education. 157 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,039 I'm like, "Grandma... 158 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,291 I succeeded. 159 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,251 I survived. " 160 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,754 He said," Good. Now you can go back and get your GED 161 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,966 Do something with yourself. You get a second chance. " 162 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:57,013 I said," But, Grandma, I'm in Rock. " 163 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,974 He said," If you have your GED, you 164 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,769 Go get your fucking GED. 165 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,688 Get your damn GED. " 166 00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:10,401 Now, he's one of those old Southern women. < br /> Church and shit, you know? 167 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,654 So he always prays. 168 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,906 One morning I woke up, he was praying for me. 169 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:18,701 Dan saya bilang, "Nenek, berhenti berdoa untukku. 170 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,329 I have died and gone to heaven and spoke to God. " 171 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:22,497 He said," What did he say? " 172 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:25,917 I said," God said, & apos; Tell your grandmother to close the fuck up! 173 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:31,172 Between him and Tim Tebow, I can't sleep well. 174 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,677 The world is on fire and I'm too tired to get rid of this. 175 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,930 Jesus, turn on the music damn it. " 176 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,813 He-she is a Jehovah's Witness. My grandmother is a Jehovah's Witness. 177 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,022 Yes I know. I know. 178 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:51,252 179 00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:55,321 If you think it's messed up when they pop Get to your house at 8:00 a.m., 180 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:56,906 it's worse when they pop up on Hospital bed and thigh bone You break. 181 00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,785 You can't run away from them. 182 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:03,788 Those damn Watchtower magazine are starting to pile up. 183 00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,460 He came to my hospital room, I pretended I was back in a coma. 184 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,469 "He is moving." "No, no." 185 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,139 In a coma. 186 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,436 Then he starts singing they are black people. 187 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,147 ♪ God, Lord, Lord ♪ 188 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,566 God, God, God ♪ 189 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,484 Even at home, he sings this crap. 190 00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:36,029 ♪ God, God, God ♪ 191 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,907 ♪ God, God, God ♪ 192 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,492 ♪ Mm-mmm ♪ 193 00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:43,536 ♪ Mm-mmm ♪ 194 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,580 I said, "Grandma, stop it. < 195 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,498 You are not in the field of picking cotton. 196 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:52,211 You are at home in your kitchen making a grilled cheese sandwich 197 00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:53,796 for your grandchildren. " 198 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,344 Because he is a Civil Rights activist. 199 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:02,138 One time he even marched 30 miles 200 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,890 just to sit in a restaurant 201 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:06,643 and have lunch with people white skin who hates his black ass. 202 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:10,146 So you know there's nothing I can do about removing him from my hospital room 203 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,065 There is no & apos;. 204 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:17,487 But it's good to have relatives around you when you're recovering like that, 205 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,239 Because they give you strength and the motivation to be better. 206 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,575 Just as long as you get away from from their ass again 207 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,412 You know your motivation when you first go home. 208 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:29,183 "I have to get rid of it
from all of you crazy bastards 209 00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:31,501 I will do this Thanksgiving and Christmas, 210 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,253 tapi aku tidak akan melakukan ini dari hari ke hari. Tidak!" 211 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,050 I fear the most to come see me 212 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,593 My Flossie's aunt. 213 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,096 Because she didn't come see me because she cares about me. 214 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:46,349 He just wants to be in the middle from some nonsense family 215 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,936 He is an aunt who is always in the middle of family nonsense. 216 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:52,459 I know he's in the hospital before he comes to my room 217 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:53,999 Because I heard his voice in the waiting room 218 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,858 "Who are you calling to?" 219 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:05,910 He is the most judgmental, Means good I know. 220 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:08,788 Like, he will sit on the chair in the corner of my hospital room 221 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,457 and judge everyone who came in that room to see me 222 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,126 "Who is this bitch? 223 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:17,171 with these nylon stockings and this tight dress?" < 224 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,007 "Flossie, that's my nurse." 225 00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:24,971 "Is that so? Is that so? He looks like the chicken sucks at me. 226 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,764 Cluck, cluck. 227 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,394 He doesn't have to be rubbin & apos; to you. 228 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:35,398 Rubbin & apos; your arms go up and down, say everything will be fine 229 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,110 Touch on you you're married, Tracy 230 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:40,403 He is a ho. 231 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,947 He put & apos; ho & apos; on ho-spital. " 232 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,621 Just judging 233 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:54,167 My grandmother 84 year now. 234 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:58,171 When he was 72 years old, he returned and gave him a GED. 235 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,798 And we are very proud of him. 236 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,176 We are very proud. 237 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:06,471 We have a party for him and everything. A big party with family. 238 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:09,348 He sits in a corner, "That slut is still stupid." 239 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,269 "That's your mother, Flossie." 240 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,729 "Is that so? I see? 241 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:16,856 Will he go to college now? 242 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:19,233 How can he get there, Underground Railway? " 243 00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,488 He's just disgusted. 244 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,073 Nobody in my family is like that. 245 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,742 He even intended for her husband, Bobby. 246 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:29,702 Bobby is my favorite uncle. He's a good person. 247 00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,372 He's a butcher. He can't read and write. 248 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,874 You know how he introduced it to people else? 249 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,794 "Hi, this is my husband, Bobby. He is limited. " 250 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:55,728 Just to make love to him, he will do bad luck, like on Christmas day, 251 00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:59,649 he will make him put the children's toys together know he can't read the instructions 252 00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:06,447 He will go, "Hey, Bobby, put the children's toys together. 254 00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:13,079 Bobby sits there with instructions that are struggling. 256 00:15:08,043 --> 00:15:23,339 When they tie them to the gurney, he will appear and leave, "See you tomorrow." 258 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,607 But he has three older brothers. 260 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:46,081 We call him Uncle Jailbird because I don't know this bastard. 262 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,493 His final conviction, 263 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:56,080 he was arrested for stealing iPods from several children at the bus stop. 265 00:15:57,874 --> 00:16:01,961 The judge gave him three years extra to steal obsolete technology. 266 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:04,172 Stupid nobles 267 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:07,842 His first conviction, 268 00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:11,345 he was arrested for trying to sell cold cuts stolen for prostitutes 269 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,723 on a truck stopped on the New Jersey motorway. 270 00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:20,480 He rolled up the truck and left, "What can I get for a turkey sandwich?" 271 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,815 "Damn, I didn't suck your dick not to eat meat during the day." 272 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,320 But selling all those pussy, you're hungry 273 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:30,448 Before you know That, there's a line of prostitutes outside the truck. 274 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,825 "Can I buy a salami sandwich?" 275 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:35,328 He turned the window down and left, "I know you will come back. 276 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,955 I know your whore is back. " 277 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,334 The pimps are chewing it. 278 00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:44,337 The prostitute is too swollen to sell pussy, 279 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,631 of all sodium from cold cuts. 280 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,817 They knocked on his buttocks. "We have to take him out of here. 281 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,135 Bring him out of this parking lot. < br /> He must go. 282 00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:54,263 This is a truck stop, damn it. We sell nice pussy here. 283 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:58,434 These girls work hard, damn it. " 284 00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,439 In his sentence, a judge asked him, 285 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:07,527 "Where did you get the idea? to sell cold stolen pieces to prostitutes 286 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,946 on a truck stop /> on the New Jersey motorway? " 287 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,074 This fool looks at the judge and leaves, " Hos must eat too. " 288 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,041 But he was nervous about Flossie. 289 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:26,045 One time Flossie went to visit him on a visit, and he was really nervous. 290 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:29,465 He sat there in the living room trying to make small talk with him. 291 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,759 Saying damn like - [chuckles] 292 00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:33,386 "Thank God today is Friday, isn't it?" 293 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:37,014 He said, "In prison, every day is Friday for you, bastard 294 00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:40,226 There is no Monday or Tuesday. 295 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,728 There are only days where you can get it screwed in the ass, 296 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,355 and the day you didn't do it. " 297 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,944 He starts shouting at the guards, " Take me out of here! 298 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,362 This is abuse! " 299 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,948 And on the way back to his cell he shouted, 300 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:57,410 " You'd better hope today is your lucky day and you're upstairs, bastard. " 301 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,498 My family is crazy 302 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:07,128 Everyone here got that dark side from their family they didn't make love to. 303 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:11,132 He messed up his head. < br /> Yup, everyone here gets the dark side. 304 00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:14,260 They are bullshit. They only relate to you. 305 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,598 You know who I'm talking about. 306 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,558 You're on your way home on Thanksgiving, 307 00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:23,436 and your father is driving a car and you are in the back seat. 308 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,897 And he turned to leave, "We only have half an hour left." 309 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,442 Those bastards 310 00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:35,698 You'll get there Try to have it A nice dinner, and their house is dirty. 311 00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:38,826 You will eat turkey and crawl a roach on the wall, 312 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:42,204 and your father goes, "God damn it! Let's go. 313 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,624 This bastard is a savage 314 00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:48,377 It smells like a German shepherd and a donkey here 315 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:54,091 I don't want to drink water packaging with this bastard 316 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,594 And this chicken is not dead at all. 317 00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,764 Let's go. " 318 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,060 Even worse when they come to your house. 319 00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:07,282 12:00 at night, one of them damn cousin is knockin "at the door. 320 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:11,692 Your mother goes to the door with that dirty evening dress 321 00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:14,945 that rips here and you can see half of the areola. 322 00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:19,867 Big ass areola Looks like He dips his chocolate in chocolate. 323 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,079 "Who is this?" 324 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:26,499 "This is me, Jimmy." 325 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:30,461 "This is Jimmy. This is Jimmy. This is Jimmy. This is Jimmy. " 326 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,714 Your father a funky-faced bastard. 327 00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,675 Enter this gloomy Fruit Weaving Tool. 328 00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:40,096 And he underwent surgery at His knee, So he lifted the big knee brace. 329 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,640 And he got up and went to the door limply. 330 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:43,974 "Damn, Jimmy. 331 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,897 You stole my damn TV. 332 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,733 That's a nice 27-inch Zenith. 333 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,027 Call the police. Call the police. " 334 00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:58,948 It's family. 335 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,036 My family is tapped. 336 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,621 My family is crazy 337 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,958 My family is crazy 338 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,751 I have a big family. 339 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:13,462 And in front of the family are a lot of parents, 340 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,964 and they are starting to die. 341 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,149 And because of settlements I 342 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,333 they think I have to pay for everyone's funeral 343 00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,803 And that nonsense is expensive. 344 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,305 I have to sit down those bastards < and go, "Wait a minute. 345 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,516 Some of you niggas have to be cremated. 346 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,228 And that's without a box. 347 00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:32,106 Slide your ass like pizza. 348 00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:40,364 If you want to go to the ground, I'll buy a giant coffin 349 00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:41,907 and rent a deep fridge, 350 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:45,077 and who even those who died that year, every December walking on the ground. 351 00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:48,456 And if you don't like it, I'll fire you. 352 00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:52,418 Hey, I understand All Black Living Material, 353 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:53,961 But your niggas must be dead. 354 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,755 And you niggas doesn't matter. " 355 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,099 They're crazy. 356 00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:11,771 I have a lot of aunt who have babies by bastard bastards. 357 00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:13,439 All of them are fucking kids. 358 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:16,859 And they think they should put all their kids in fucking college. 359 00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,320 You fucked them. You made them. 360 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:20,863 You pay their school fees. 361 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,532 I'm all for high learning. 362 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,577 But this is not United Niggas College Fund. 363 00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:32,541 If the bastard can't play football basketball or run 4.3 at 40, he fucked. 364 00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:37,505 Don't be angry UPS is hiring. 365 00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:46,514 When I get out of coma, I'm getting deeper. 366 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:48,766 I want to learn who I am, where I come from 367 00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:52,228 So I'm online and get that ancestral poop. 368 00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:57,191 The results just returned last week. You know, the graph says 369 00:21:57,274 --> 00:22:01,946 25% of Native Americans, 25% African American, 10% Irish 370 00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:04,114 My whole chart just said "Nigga from Brooklyn." 371 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,081 Hey. 372 00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:15,000 I come from a long line from niggas from Brooklyn 373 00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:17,336 I'm from the project. 374 00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:19,564 For all white people here who don't know what it is, 375 00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:21,590 Do you remember the movie The Lion King? 376 00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:24,176 When Mufasa was talking to Simba, and he said, 377 00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:26,887 "All the light touched ours." 378 00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:28,532 And Simba said, "What is the dark area that? " 379 00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:30,599 He said," That's the project, nigga. 380 00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:34,979 You don't go there, bastard. Keep your ass here at Pride Rock. 381 00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:36,480 Do you understand me? 382 00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:39,608 That's where pit bulls and the Latin King. 383 00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,277 Your Uncle Scar is the Latin King. 384 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,445 That's how he cut his head. 385 00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,406 Keep Your ass is here at Pride Rock. " 386 00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:50,703 I'm from the ghetto, man. The ghetto is crazy 387 00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:52,514 - [people's shouting, unclear] - Ghetto is crazy 388 00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:54,832 Not from TripAdvisor LLC having a normal name no longer 389 00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:57,293 Since then Five Percent religion came, 390 00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:01,589 bastards changed their names to names that doesn't even fit their personality. 391 00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:04,925 Like I know a dude named Knowledge, doesn't know anything 392 00:23:08,137 --> 00:23:11,181 Motherfucker named Universe who never leaves the neighborhood around. 393 00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:16,770 I know one bastard named Unique, have identical twin brothers 394 00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:20,316 Crazy bastard 395 00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:32,493 [clears throat] 396 00:23:33,162 --> 00:23:36,206 When I was in the hospital, all my friends from Brooklyn called me, man. 397 00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:38,792 Jay Z called me. 398 00:23:38,876 --> 00:23:41,295 - Chris Rock called me - [ woman] We love you, Tracy! 399 00:23:41,378 --> 00:23:42,378 And I love you too. 400 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:43,964 Let me see your titty now. 401 00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:46,216 [laughter] 402 00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:50,137 As I said, all my friends from Brooklyn are called, you know? 403 00:23:51,013 --> 00:23:53,974 All my friends from Brooklyn call. Jay Z calls. Call Chris Rock 404 00:23:54,058 --> 00:23:56,393 Exclaimed Eddie Murphy. Call Mike Tyson 405 00:23:56,477 --> 00:23:59,229 Yeah, Mike. Mike called me He said, "Tracy." 406 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:03,192 I said, "Who is this?" He said, "I, Mike Tyson. 407 00:24:03,817 --> 00:24:06,779 When I got home from the hospital, I will come visit you 408 00:24:06,862 --> 00:24:10,324 Kita bisa menerbangkan merpati dan mendapatkan tato wajah yang serasi. " 409 00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:12,785 I said, "No, you won't come to my house, Mike 410 00:24:13,535 --> 00:24:17,456 My brain has been messed up. I don't need your crazy rubbin from me. 411 00:24:18,499 --> 00:24:20,542 I got hit by a truck, right. I'm not stupid. " 412 00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:26,733 When I came out of a coma, I acted erratically. 413 00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:29,426 I acted very erratically And the doctor told my wife, 414 00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:31,178 "Madam Morgan, that's the trauma of her brain." 415 00:24:31,261 --> 00:24:33,263 And my wife looked at the doctor and said, "Well. 416 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:37,643 No 417 00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:40,688 Nigga is always crazy." 418 00:24:40,771 --> 00:24:44,441 [clapping, cheering] 419 00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:52,074 "I hope the accident < 420 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:56,412 Like old TV that you can't get pictures to work God damn, come on. 421 00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:58,288 Archie Bunker's comic at. 422 00:24:58,789 --> 00:25:00,833 ♪ Boys, how to play Glenn Miller ♪ 423 00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:05,713 My brain is really messed up, man. It's really chaotic, man. 424 00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:10,759 I'm remember coming out of coma, This Donna Summer song is in my head. 425 00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:14,221 For some reason, I understand This Donna Summer song is in my head, man. 426 00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:17,344 But I can't remember his words All day long, just singing this fucking Donna - 427 00:25:17,391 --> 00:25:19,810 [humming songs] 428 00:25:19,893 --> 00:25:21,437 ♪ On the radio ♪ 429 00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:26,775 All day, just singing this nonsense. 430 00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:28,861 [humming songs] 431 00:25:29,611 --> 00:25:31,321 ♪ On the radio ♪ 432 00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:35,659 I can't remember the words and that scares me. 433 00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:39,371 I say to myself, if I don't remember words for this, or simple nonsense, 434 00:25:39,455 --> 00:25:41,832 they will never let me get out of this hospital 435 00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:42,915 All day long. 436 00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:45,377 [humming songs] 437 00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:47,504 ♪ On the radio ♪ 438 00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:51,550 And then I realized. 439 00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:54,303 I never knew those damn words for the song 440 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:10,861 I don't think Donna Summer knows the words < br /> for the song, and he wrote the song. 441 00:26:20,037 --> 00:26:21,872 I tell you though, man, 442 00:26:21,955 --> 00:26:25,292 When I was in the hospital, I masturbated constantly. 443 00:26:26,335 --> 00:26:29,129 That's all I do all day. Beat this dick. 444 00:26:30,506 --> 00:26:33,383 That's the only part of my body it works 445 00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:36,428 This dick is defeated 446 00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:39,723 I beat this dick like he owes me. 447 00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:42,810 [mumbles] Give me my dirty back. 448 00:26:44,394 --> 00:26:47,523 My cock issued a restraining order in my right hand 449 00:26:49,983 --> 00:26:53,737 I ripped my rotator cuff on my left arm beatin> on this dick 450 00:26:53,821 --> 00:26:55,948 Must have a Tommy John operation. 451 00:26:56,406 --> 00:26:59,952 One day, the heart machine rang. < br /> The nurse came running in. 452 00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:01,763 I was there defeating him. 453 00:27:01,787 --> 00:27:04,873 They said someone needed to teach Solitaire the mother bastard or whatever. 454 00:27:05,874 --> 00:27:07,960 Crosswords or something. 455 00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:13,006 I do physical therapy. 456 00:27:14,258 --> 00:27:17,219 Do physical therapy. I keep my physical therapist close to me. 457 00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:20,681 Because my wife and I plan get married when everything is OK. 458 00:27:20,764 --> 00:27:23,809 I want to take my wife down the aisle. 459 00:27:23,892 --> 00:27:26,895 - Without crutches. Without a stick
- [cheering, clapping] 460 00:27:28,355 --> 00:27:32,067 So I held it near me. But when he came to my house for the first time, 461 00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:36,488 physical therapist, I opened the door and I was like, "Wow." 462 00:27:36,572 --> 00:27:38,782 This white woman is 6 & apos; 1 ". 463 00:27:38,866 --> 00:27:43,787 Blue eyes, blonde hair And I never saw a white woman with booty like this. 464 00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:48,125 Yes. Big, nice, fat, small waist. 465 00:27:48,208 --> 00:27:51,378 It looks like he swallowed hard a young black girl from Harlem. 466 00:27:52,421 --> 00:27:53,421 Cursing. 467 00:27:54,339 --> 00:27:56,633 An amazon Can I get me? 468 00:27:58,010 --> 00:28:01,430 Ah, she's beautiful. I mean, I remember one day - 469 00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:05,517 One time she bowed in front of me, I saw, like, a five inch crack in the ass. 470 00:28:05,601 --> 00:28:07,936 And it's beautiful. It feels like watching the sun set. 471 00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:15,360 I feel I should be lying hammock, 472 00:28:15,444 --> 00:28:17,112 sippin & apos; on piña colada. 473 00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:19,239 Beautiful scenery to witness. 474 00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:24,369 Beautiful ass This will inspire young black men to stay in school 475 00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:29,708 One day I suffered damage to the wardrobe and my cock has come out. 476 00:28:29,791 --> 00:28:32,085 And the mouth on my dick Grinning at him. 477 00:28:37,007 --> 00:28:38,592 Then he starts singing for him. 478 00:28:38,675 --> 00:28:40,427 [humming songs] 479 00:28:41,345 --> 00:28:43,096 ♪ On the radio ♪ 480 00:28:47,309 --> 00:28:49,061 And he will give me a job. 481 00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:50,246 This woman really forced me out.

482 00:28:50,270 --> 00:28:52,022 He was dedicated to getting me on my feet 483 00:28:52,105 --> 00:28:55,442 He worked me out sittin & apos; between my legs and stretched out my body. 484 00:28:55,525 --> 00:28:57,361 And rubbed my muscles and relaxed my muscles. 485 00:28:57,444 --> 00:28:59,363 And I will look at him. 486 00:28:59,446 --> 00:29:01,281 And I began to fall in love with him. 487 00:29:02,616 --> 00:29:04,618 I started to have feelings for him. 488 00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:07,537 Tapi itu tidak benar. Itu hanya sindrom. 489 00:29:07,621 --> 00:29:09,421 This is called Florence Nightingale syndrome. 490 00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:13,543 True story. Florence Nightingale was a nurse in the Crimean War in the 1800s. 491 00:29:13,627 --> 00:29:15,772 He will take care of all wounded soldiers back together, 492 00:29:15,796 --> 00:29:17,339 and they will fall in love with him. 493 00:29:17,422 --> 00:29:18,423 And that happened to me. 494 00:29:18,507 --> 00:29:20,259 And one day my wife saw that nonsense. 495 00:29:20,342 --> 00:29:22,052 He said, "What is happening? 496 00:29:24,513 --> 00:29:26,932 And why is your penis singing? & apos; On Radio & apos; to him?" 497 00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:33,105 I said, "No, dear. I'm sorry. 498 00:29:33,188 --> 00:29:35,315 I'm sorry. I don't love him. I love you. 499 00:29:35,399 --> 00:29:37,025 I don't mean it. I love you. 500 00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:40,112 It's just a syndrome. It's called Florence Nightingale syndrome. " 501 00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:43,615 Dia berkata, "Ya, bajingan, coba tebak. Saya juga mendapat sindrom. 502 00:29:43,699 --> 00:29:46,326 This is called the Big Dick Mailman syndrome. 503 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,622 Dan Pool Pooler Pussy-eatin syndrome. " 504 00:29:50,706 --> 00:29:53,000 I said," Do you have a double syndrome? 505 00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:54,668 Can I watch? " 506 00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:03,385 My speech therapist is a good woman. He helped me out, helped my life. 507 00:30:03,468 --> 00:30:05,220 You know, I keep it close to me because 508 00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:08,557 I want to take the oath of to my wife in our marriage properly. 509 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,019 I want to say "I know," and not "Fuck you." 510 00:30:16,565 --> 00:30:19,109 So he works very close to me. 511 00:30:19,985 --> 00:30:24,281 And because of brain trauma, some it's dark, and some days are fine. 512 00:30:24,364 --> 00:30:26,245 I remember one day , he came on a dark day, 513 00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:28,910 and he said, "Father Morgan, I want for you 514 00:30:28,994 --> 00:30:30,829 to repeat after me, okay? 515 00:30:30,912 --> 00:30:35,208 Say, & apos; The man is in the corner. & apos; Okay? Say that. 516 00:30:35,292 --> 00:30:38,920 "The man is on the corner." " 517 00:30:39,004 --> 00:30:41,048 And I said," The man is on the corner. " 518 00:30:41,131 --> 00:30:42,799 He said no. Say, & apos; The person & apos;" - 519 00:30:42,883 --> 00:30:44,676 I said, "Bitch, that's what I'm talking about. 520 00:30:45,719 --> 00:30:47,639 Everyone can see that guy in the damn corner 521 00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:50,140 Don't talk to me about that damn guy 522 00:30:50,223 --> 00:30:53,560 He has a green jacket? That My Uncle Marvin is in that damn corner. 523 00:30:53,977 --> 00:30:56,480 He sold cold stolen pieces in that damn corner. " 524 00:30:57,064 --> 00:30:59,232 And he saw that he hurt me. 525 00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:02,110 He said," Mr. Morgan, are you OK? " I said, "I'm fine." 526 00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:03,403 He said, "No, say, me" - 527 00:31:03,487 --> 00:31:05,864 I said, "Bitch, I already said that was what I was talking about." 528 00:31:07,324 --> 00:31:09,034 Then I saw that I was hurting him. 529 00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:10,243 And I said, "You are good okay? " 530 00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:12,037 He said," I'm fine. " 531 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,247 I said, " This whore is playing with my head now. 532 00:31:15,082 --> 00:31:17,352 He tried to get into my head and stay rented for free, damn it. 533 00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:18,627 Okay, you win 534 00:31:18,710 --> 00:31:20,545 The guy is on the corner. " 535 00:31:21,171 --> 00:31:23,131 [laughter] 536 00:31:25,384 --> 00:31:26,968 [applause] 537 00:31:32,057 --> 00:31:34,559 You know what's cool When I'm in my wheelchair. 538 00:31:34,643 --> 00:31:39,314 My daughter is 14 months old , and I can see it taking its first step. 539 00:31:39,689 --> 00:31:41,608 - And there - - [cheering, applause] 540 00:31:41,691 --> 00:31:42,691 Yes, thank you 541 00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:44,277 I have to see it. 542 00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:46,279 That's important for a man. 543 00:31:46,988 --> 00:31:50,450 It inspired me to get out of my wheelchair, and I took my first step. 544 00:31:50,534 --> 00:31:53,286 So now, me and my daughter walk hand in hand to live. < 545 00:31:53,370 --> 00:31:55,622 Because we learn how to walk at the same time. 546 00:31:55,705 --> 00:31:57,040 - It's magic - [cheering] 547 00:31:57,124 --> 00:31:58,458 Magic. 548 00:31:58,542 --> 00:32:00,001 I will never forget it 549 00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:03,588 I remember, One night my wife and I, Megan, 550 00:32:03,672 --> 00:32:05,674 we saw him running down the aisle, 551 00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:07,968 for the first time in Pamper's doo-doo. 552 00:32:08,677 --> 00:32:11,471 I started running down the aisle in my doo-doo Pamper, 553 00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:12,848 tried to catch the ass small. 554 00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:13,932 "Come here, damn it." 555 00:32:21,231 --> 00:32:23,400 Then it becomes competitive with me and my daughter 556 00:32:24,484 --> 00:32:26,087 One day I saw her breastfeeding < br /> with my wife. 557 00:32:26,111 --> 00:32:28,321 I said, "Damn, he sucked better than me." 558 00:32:30,073 --> 00:32:32,659 I took the technique because I love me some titty milk. 559 00:32:33,702 --> 00:32:35,078 Milk Titty and Splenda. 560 00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:37,414 I have to watch my carbs, you know? 561 00:32:40,250 --> 00:32:42,252 Ben & Jerry must make it new taste 562 00:32:43,044 --> 00:32:45,380 Can I get two spoons of milk Titty and Splenda? 563 00:32:45,464 --> 00:32:47,090 No, just put it on a small cup. 564 00:32:47,174 --> 00:32:50,594 I don't want a waffle cone. Just a little cup.
Titty Milk and Splenda. Thank you. 565 00:32:52,053 --> 00:32:53,221 Thank you very much. 566 00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:56,183 I miss you 567 00:32:56,850 --> 00:32:58,018 I miss doing this 568 00:32:58,101 --> 00:32:59,603 [cheering] 569 00:32:59,686 --> 00:33:01,521 I really miss you I love you. 570 00:33:02,689 --> 00:33:04,983 Wow, that's... scary. 571 00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:08,195 I know when I'm ready to go back. 572 00:33:08,612 --> 00:33:12,407 Because of my wife, my stone, stop feeling sorry for me 573 00:33:12,491 --> 00:33:13,867 That's when I found out. 574 00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:16,912 Because when the accident happened, you know, I was depressed, 575 00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:19,748 You know, watching my friends, like Tina Fey, Kevin Hart, 576 00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:21,625 everyone does what I like to do. 577 00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:23,793 I started eating lots of good food. 578 00:33:23,877 --> 00:33:25,670 And I wear 579 00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:28,194 And then one day my wife just got sick and looked at me 580 00:33:28,256 --> 00:33:29,925 lying on the couch like a stranded whale. 581 00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:31,343 Disgusted. 582 00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:35,347 It feels like I'm counting a stretch sign, you know? 583 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,201 And he said, "Why don't you get off the couch? 584 00:33:38,225 --> 00:33:40,227 and go to comedy club and do some comedy, 585 00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:43,063 You are big-gut, shit, Pamper yourself? 586 00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:48,193 And I jump and say, "I'm back ! " 587 00:33:48,276 --> 00:33:50,570 [cheering] 588 00:33:50,654 --> 00:33:51,863 What 589 00:33:57,118 --> 00:33:58,118 What 590 00:33:59,079 --> 00:34:00,914 Because I told you something, man. 591 00:34:01,414 --> 00:34:02,916 Let me tell you something. 592 00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:04,894 You are not what -apa I don't care about who you think you are, 593 00:34:04,918 --> 00:34:08,588 how special you think you are, how much money and beautiful and visible. 594 00:34:08,672 --> 00:34:10,507 You are okay - without your health. 595 00:34:11,132 --> 00:34:13,009 Take it from me, man. 596 00:34:13,093 --> 00:34:14,803 Don't take it for granted. 597 00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:17,264 You have to take care of yourself, know what what I'm saying 598 00:34:17,347 --> 00:34:21,017 Look at Tiger Woods, the biggest golfer in the world 599 00:34:21,101 --> 00:34:24,145 Four operations come back later, he's just as normal as me 600 00:34:26,314 --> 00:34:28,984 I mean, The blackest thing Tiger Woods has ever done 601 00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:30,652 suck golf 602 00:34:33,238 --> 00:34:34,781 Kalian bisa menangani nigga sekarang. 603 00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:41,246 I just don't believe, like, at height from his career he refused to be black. 604 00:34:41,329 --> 00:34:45,041 I'm like, "Tiger, your father's name is Earl Woods." 605 00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:46,209 [laughter] 606 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,796 "Every Earl Woods I know is black. 607 00:34:50,422 --> 00:34:52,007 And he drives a white van. 608 00:34:52,424 --> 00:34:54,509 He sells fish on the back That van. 609 00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:56,845 And he's fucking my aunt. 610 00:34:57,387 --> 00:35:00,265 Tiger, you have two half-small brothers in Harlem 611 00:35:00,348 --> 00:35:01,766 You need to go see them. 612 00:35:02,350 --> 00:35:03,935 Rodney and Darius. " 613 00:35:09,733 --> 00:35:14,029 Tiger Woods decreases when he starts cheatin & apos; to his wife. 614 00:35:14,863 --> 00:35:16,573 Only boys 615 00:35:17,032 --> 00:35:20,285 You have a good rider, A nice woman with you by your side, 616 00:35:20,368 --> 00:35:21,828 You don't cheat on him. 617 00:35:21,911 --> 00:35:25,290 You have a good woman by your side. And what I say basically, fellas, 618 00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:27,334 Don't go chasing waterfalls. 619 00:35:27,417 --> 00:35:28,752 [laughter] 620 00:35:28,835 --> 00:35:31,379 Please stick to rivers and lakes you're used to 621 00:35:36,593 --> 00:35:37,993 Chasing them young girls out there. 622 00:35:38,053 --> 00:35:40,597 One young girl will give You have herpes in your mouth. 623 00:35:41,222 --> 00:35:44,225 And everyone at CVS knows what the cream is for 624 00:35:48,605 --> 00:35:51,441 You don't want to be a man in his 50s sittin & apos; at that free clinic 625 00:35:51,524 --> 00:35:53,193 with those young bastards. 626 00:35:53,860 --> 00:35:55,528 Only sittin & apos; there 627 00:35:55,612 --> 00:35:57,447 "Excuse me. Are you a doctor?" 628 00:35:57,530 --> 00:35:59,616 "No, I applaud. I'm next." 629 00:36:01,284 --> 00:36:02,202 "What is clapping?" 630 00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:03,745 "VD old school." 631 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:09,084 "After we get our shots, can you buy My friends and I drink beer?" 632 00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:10,877 "Will you make me some young bastards?" 633 00:36:13,088 --> 00:36:16,508 It was captured by the construction. You have to grow fuck up. 634 00:36:16,591 --> 00:36:17,467 [woman] yeah! 635 00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:18,635 You did 636 00:36:21,346 --> 00:36:24,307 Can't keep on doing nonsense < br /> You did when you were 18 years old. 637 00:36:25,308 --> 00:36:27,560 I was watching Couples Therapy another day. 638 00:36:27,644 --> 00:36:29,604 They have Flavor Flav there. 639 00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:33,775 Flavor Flav is 62 years old. 640 00:36:34,234 --> 00:36:37,862 I did not call a 62-year-old man Flavor Flav. 641 00:36:38,697 --> 00:36:41,700 What is your real name? Crane? 642 00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:48,248 And take that hour, damn it. 643 00:36:52,001 --> 00:36:53,670 Arrested development. 644 00:36:54,337 --> 00:36:57,632 He has a hat to the side with reading glasses. 645 00:36:58,174 --> 00:36:59,634 When you read glasses, 646 00:36:59,718 --> 00:37:02,637 it's time to turn around ahead 647 00:37:02,721 --> 00:37:05,140 and become a true Padres fan. 648 00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:09,436 And put the belt, damn it. 649 00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:12,939 They're kids young out there. 650 00:37:14,649 --> 00:37:16,252 That's why I didn't go to strip the club again. 651 00:37:16,276 --> 00:37:17,736 It was arrested for construction. 652 00:37:17,819 --> 00:37:19,696 I didn't go to the strip club again. 653 00:37:20,530 --> 00:37:22,299 I just got tired of fighting with them bitches 654 00:37:22,323 --> 00:37:24,868 how many songs I paid in lap dances. 655 00:37:25,910 --> 00:37:27,454 I say three songs. 656 00:37:27,537 --> 00:37:29,247 Mixtapes don't count. 657 00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:34,669 I'm just bored with them bitches recognize me on the road 658 00:37:34,753 --> 00:37:36,254 while I'm with my wife and child my child. 659 00:37:36,337 --> 00:37:38,339 "Hi, Tracy. 660 00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:40,884 This is me Janet, aka Cinnamon." 661 00:37:40,967 --> 00:37:42,969 "Damn, Cinnamon! I said don't talk to me 662 00:37:43,052 --> 00:37:45,054 unless we are in the Boom Boom Room. " 663 00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:51,394 You don't want to be a parent bring flowers on Valentine's Day 664 00:37:51,478 --> 00:37:53,164 In a strip club. You don't want to be like that. 665 00:37:53,188 --> 00:37:55,064 "Hi, Cinnamon. This is for you. " 666 00:37:55,148 --> 00:37:58,485 " Oh, this is great. Can you set this in the water there 667 00:37:58,568 --> 00:38:01,946 while I wipe -dance this person until he comes with his pants? " 668 00:38:05,867 --> 00:38:08,578 Arrested by development. Ladies, you can also be arrested. 669 00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:11,623 My wife and I go to parties wedding two weeks ago. 670 00:38:11,706 --> 00:38:14,250 And when you reached a certain age, this danced. 671 00:38:14,334 --> 00:38:15,710 Two-steppin & apos;. 672 00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:17,337 That's all you have to do... 673 00:38:18,338 --> 00:38:19,923 is one step. 674 00:38:20,006 --> 00:38:22,008 Stomach out Stomach at 675 00:38:22,467 --> 00:38:24,803 Stomach out Stomach at 676 00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:27,347 Stomach out Stomach at 677 00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:29,682 Stomach out Stomach at 678 00:38:30,266 --> 00:38:32,185 Perut keluar Perut di 679 00:38:32,644 --> 00:38:34,270 That's all you have to do. 680 00:38:34,354 --> 00:38:36,439 We danced beside him this 50-year-old woman, 681 00:38:36,523 --> 00:38:39,067 and this bitch started doing it all the talk Ciara's blank. 682 00:38:39,484 --> 00:38:41,694 And I'm still smiling. But in my mind, I said, 683 00:38:41,778 --> 00:38:43,363 "If this bitch kicks me in the femur... 684 00:38:46,866 --> 00:38:48,785 I will knock it out. " 685 00:38:51,371 --> 00:38:53,540 Keep beating it, you big bitch. 686 00:38:55,583 --> 00:38:57,502 Arrested by development. 687 00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,172 Madonna has also caught up with developments. 688 00:39:01,256 --> 00:39:04,467 You see all plastic surgery has he tried to look like a young girl? 689 00:39:05,260 --> 00:39:08,012 I like mother's saggy slack. 690 00:39:09,055 --> 00:39:10,390 I like that. 691 00:39:10,890 --> 00:39:13,351 You breastfeed two children with their titties. 692 00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:15,895 They have the right to relax. 693 00:39:21,985 --> 00:39:24,571 Titties sepanjang jalan turun oleh bekas luka di bagian C nya. 694 00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:28,283 These nipples and pussy are far away. 695 00:39:29,784 --> 00:39:30,869 As far as I know, 696 00:39:30,952 --> 00:39:34,831 There is nothing better than eating pussy and sucking on titties at the same time. 697 00:39:35,290 --> 00:39:37,292 [laughing, cheering] 698 00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:45,341 Woman, don't be ashamed of your body. 699 00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:47,677 Don't be shy 700 00:39:49,762 --> 00:39:52,140 My first love is 300 pounds. 701 00:39:52,515 --> 00:39:55,894 In the ghetto. And that is Big Mertis. 300 pounds. 702 00:39:55,977 --> 00:39:57,687 That is my baby. 703 00:39:58,813 --> 00:40:01,566 I and he returned to fourth grade. < br /> He is 250 years old. 704 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,988 I love Big Mertis. He The first girl I have ever fucked naked. 705 00:40:08,197 --> 00:40:09,675 You know?
Because when you're in high school, 706 00:40:09,699 --> 00:40:11,993 you pull pants to your knees when you make love... 707 00:40:12,535 --> 00:40:14,013 in case someone comes up the stairs. 708 00:40:14,037 --> 00:40:15,496 You can pull your shit back up. 709 00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:19,918 Dia membiarkanku menidurinya. 710 00:40:20,293 --> 00:40:21,604 Because his mother works at night. 711 00:40:21,628 --> 00:40:23,668 So I'll go up there and kill him for ten minutes, 712 00:40:23,713 --> 00:40:26,341 then sleep for two hours,
like I do now 713 00:40:33,932 --> 00:40:36,267 I remember one time, I tore her pussy. 714 00:40:36,351 --> 00:40:39,771 And she said, "Tracy, I want you to pick me up and I'm sleeping on the wall. " 715 00:40:39,854 --> 00:40:41,648 I said," Bitch, you weigh 300 pounds. 716 00:40:43,691 --> 00:40:46,277 You know I have scoliosis in my spine. 717 00:40:46,986 --> 00:40:49,447 You have to pick me up < and make love to me on the wall. " 718 00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:51,991 And he did it! 719 00:40:53,534 --> 00:40:55,662 He put my dirty stuff off the wall. 720 00:40:56,287 --> 00:40:58,581 And he healed my scoliosis. 721 00:40:59,165 --> 00:41:01,501 Alhamdulillah it is a wall that is holding back. 722 00:41:05,630 --> 00:41:07,799 That is my baby. He is heartbroken. 723 00:41:08,925 --> 00:41:11,177 Mematahkan hatiku. Menghancurkan omong kosongku 724 00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:14,472 Because I don't know Everyone in the tent fucked her. 725 00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:17,809 Everyone fucked her. I found it in a difficult way. 726 00:41:17,892 --> 00:41:20,144 One time I have a doggy style, tearing up - 727 00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:23,314 "Who is this pussy? Who is this pussy?" 728 00:41:23,398 --> 00:41:26,651 And he turned and said,
"You mean now? 729 00:41:28,778 --> 00:41:30,923 Well, that's yours now, But in ten minutes when Derek came, 730 00:41:30,947 --> 00:41:32,323 it would be his 731 00:41:32,407 --> 00:41:35,702 But go ahead and kill yourself. Cursed, commit suicide. 732 00:41:36,369 --> 00:41:37,954 Go knock yourself. " 733 00:41:39,122 --> 00:41:41,541 Pattin & apos; loot. " Go and kill yourself . " 734 00:41:45,169 --> 00:41:47,380 I love everything about a woman's body. 735 00:41:47,463 --> 00:41:49,966 I am everything I love everything 736 00:41:50,049 --> 00:41:53,302 I like to make love with women who got a C-section scar. 737 00:41:53,636 --> 00:41:55,114 And I'm not talking about that little gap there 738 00:41:55,138 --> 00:41:56,848 I'm talking about that old garbage. 739 00:41:58,099 --> 00:42:01,728 Old school His stomach looks like who cut Frankenstein's forehead. 740 00:42:02,812 --> 00:42:04,439 "Friends." 741 00:42:12,113 --> 00:42:13,781 Just married. 742 00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:14,991 [cheering] 743 00:42:15,074 --> 00:42:16,701 Just remarried. 744 00:42:17,201 --> 00:42:18,929 This is my second marriage. This one must work. 745 00:42:18,953 --> 00:42:20,705 I screwed that first marriage. 746 00:42:21,622 --> 00:42:22,623 I screwed it up. 747 00:42:22,707 --> 00:42:23,958 This one has to work. 748 00:42:24,042 --> 00:42:26,753 Find out how much child support and support is sure 749 00:42:26,836 --> 00:42:29,380 I have to get hit by with the second Walmart truck. 750 00:42:31,466 --> 00:42:33,092 And a Doritos truck. 751 00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:35,553 And a FedEx plane. 752 00:42:36,429 --> 00:42:39,515 Hearing you can make 20 million is empty of FedEx planes. 753 00:42:39,599 --> 00:42:42,769 If you stick with all your abilities and limbs and dirt. 754 00:42:42,852 --> 00:42:45,563 It will be messed up if you are only a torso and a head. 755 00:42:46,314 --> 00:42:49,275 Your friend takes you around in a Gucci bag on his back. 756 00:42:50,318 --> 00:42:53,571 "Yo, take me to the beach, man. Place me where the prostitutes are. 757 00:42:54,739 --> 00:42:57,950 If it's too hot, I'll go, & apos; Ooh! & apos; That means come take me. " 758 00:42:59,869 --> 00:43:02,330 You are just a body with chinchillas. 759 00:43:04,916 --> 00:43:06,751 [chuckles] 760 00:43:10,088 --> 00:43:13,174 You will know if I have gone bankrupt. You hear about me. 761 00:43:13,257 --> 00:43:16,594 Ridin & apos; on the highway, dress in black at ten speed. 762 00:43:18,513 --> 00:43:20,389 "There's the news of the van again." 763 00:43:22,266 --> 00:43:24,519 I put the first marriage to bed , friend. 764 00:43:25,144 --> 00:43:26,145 I screwed it up, man. 765 00:43:26,229 --> 00:43:27,688 Drinking too much. 766 00:43:28,147 --> 00:43:29,148 Drinking too much. 767 00:43:29,232 --> 00:43:31,109 I remember my first DUI. 768 00:43:31,192 --> 00:43:34,570 The police gave me a line test and I kept stepping on his shoes. 769 00:43:34,654 --> 00:43:36,781 And I said, "Move your feet, bastard!" 770 00:43:38,157 --> 00:43:40,993 He doesn't think it's funny. He brought my black ass to jail. 771 00:43:42,203 --> 00:43:44,539 My second DUI, they didn't even give me a Breathalyzer. 772 00:43:44,622 --> 00:43:47,208 I just sat in the back seat myself. 773 00:43:47,959 --> 00:43:49,168 I know how much I drink. 774 00:43:49,252 --> 00:43:51,587 I have two Long Island Iced Teas and three Extraordinary Hulks. 775 00:43:51,671 --> 00:43:52,797 Let's go. 776 00:43:54,715 --> 00:43:57,885 I read my own Miranda rights myself. You have the right to stay - 777 00:43:57,969 --> 00:43:59,428 Then I release them. 778 00:44:00,471 --> 00:44:03,141 Then I beat the crap from myself just to be black 779 00:44:08,187 --> 00:44:11,023 They made me go to the AA meeting. That crap is sad 780 00:44:11,482 --> 00:44:13,377 A bastard stood at the meeting and said, 781 00:44:13,401 --> 00:44:15,903 "Alcohol made me burn my house." 782 00:44:15,987 --> 00:44:18,906 Another bastard stood up and said, "Alcohol makes me want to kill myself." 783 00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:22,076 I stand up and say, "You bastard is a group of liars. 784 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:24,370 It's not alcohol. It's cracked." 785 00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:28,457 Alcohol doesn't do it for you. When I'm drunk at the club, 786 00:44:28,541 --> 00:44:31,544 What I want to do is pull my cock out on the dance floor and sing. 787 00:44:31,961 --> 00:44:36,382 ♪ He came from somewhere to the back In the past ago ♪ 788 00:44:36,841 --> 00:44:42,430 ♪ He has a place in his life ♪ 789 00:44:45,725 --> 00:44:47,351 They make me do community service 790 00:44:47,435 --> 00:44:50,354 But things are messy about that, no one wants me in their community 791 00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:53,733 They want to see you on TV. 792 00:44:53,816 --> 00:44:56,027 Don't want to see your black ass in anyone's backyard... 793 00:44:56,611 --> 00:44:57,653 peeping & apos; in their bush. 794 00:44:57,737 --> 00:45:01,449 "Who is that in Jim's backyard < br /> pee in the bush drinking at> 40? " 795 00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:04,327 " That's Tracy Morgan from Saturday Night Live. " 796 00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:07,663 " If you urinate in the bush- This bush, 797 00:45:07,747 --> 00:45:10,583 will be Tracy Morgan from Saturday Night Dead. " 798 00:45:13,586 --> 00:45:15,546 My wife is strong. She's a strong woman. 799 00:45:15,630 --> 00:45:18,049 He shows his strength to him. He is strong. 800 00:45:18,132 --> 00:45:20,051 As a woman, you must be strong 801 00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:22,970 to have a bastard with a face like this above you. 802 00:45:30,227 --> 00:45:33,564 I look like a cross between Wesley Snipes and Biz Markie. 803 00:45:40,363 --> 00:45:44,116 I remember the first time I had sex with my wife after the accident. 804 00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:45,576 I came hard 805 00:45:46,494 --> 00:45:48,913 I mean, I came with difficulty. Like in high school. 806 00:45:51,499 --> 00:45:52,792 I came hard 807 00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:56,462 Remember in high school, you will come hard and unlucky ? 808 00:45:58,506 --> 00:46:00,216 I have a William Tell dick. 809 00:46:00,299 --> 00:46:02,593 I can drop an apple from your head from here 810 00:46:07,473 --> 00:46:10,434 Remember in high school, your penism It's hard - High school is difficult? 811 00:46:10,518 --> 00:46:12,603 You can break the brick with that penis, Fuck. 812 00:46:14,355 --> 00:46:17,358 But when you are 40 and 50, you are playing semipro now. 813 00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:23,280 He has to suck your penis for two hours just to get you semi-hard. 814 00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:26,492 His nose starts bleeding, mascara runs. 815 00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:30,246 He must release his jaw like a boa constrictor. 816 00:46:36,335 --> 00:46:37,335 "You need help." 817 00:46:39,046 --> 00:46:42,091 And, woman, while making love, spit on his penis Spit on it. 818 00:46:43,259 --> 00:46:45,594 Spit on that dick. I like it when a woman spits on me - 819 00:46:45,678 --> 00:46:47,263 Spit on it like you hate it. 820 00:46:48,305 --> 00:46:51,225 Call it a racial sluri. "You Czechoslovak son of a "- 821 00:46:52,143 --> 00:46:53,143 Fuck. 822 00:46:53,185 --> 00:46:54,812 Spit on that damn dick. 823 00:46:55,438 --> 00:46:57,064 " You are Ecuadorian mother "- 824 00:46:58,691 --> 00:47:00,568 " You are a person Mexican immigrant puto "- 825 00:47:00,651 --> 00:47:02,737 Please, vomit on that penis, damn it. 826 00:47:03,404 --> 00:47:05,114 Spit on that damn dick. 827 00:47:08,743 --> 00:47:12,580 I'm now older. So intimate with my wife now, you know, 828 00:47:12,663 --> 00:47:14,081 is different, you know 829 00:47:14,165 --> 00:47:16,792 Before having sex, I have to take out the black tool bag. 830 00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:20,713 Inside the bag is a Zorro mask... 831 00:47:21,547 --> 00:47:24,967 a vibrator, some spare batteries and an apology letter. 832 00:47:27,428 --> 00:47:29,013 "What's the apology letter?" 833 00:47:29,096 --> 00:47:30,096 "You will see. 834 00:47:31,390 --> 00:47:32,390 You will see. " 835 00:47:38,272 --> 00:47:42,068 I don't care who you are here. If you are a partner, stay bad. 836 00:47:42,151 --> 00:47:44,278 You have to. Keep the relationship You stay hot. 837 00:47:44,737 --> 00:47:46,590 Because if you live together and you are no longer unlucky, 838 00:47:46,614 --> 00:47:48,074 you are just roommates. 839 00:47:49,617 --> 00:47:52,554 Don't let him get sick That head. Because they always start with it. 840 00:47:52,578 --> 00:47:53,412 "I have a headache." 841 00:47:53,496 --> 00:47:56,433 "Yeah, well, you will get a headache With this dick inside you, damn it. 842 00:47:56,457 --> 00:47:59,794 I drove that truck all week. I spent a lot of money here, damn it. " 843 00:48:00,628 --> 00:48:02,171 Fuck all the head dirt. 844 00:48:04,006 --> 00:48:05,424 " You need Bufferin, damn it? 845 00:48:07,676 --> 00:48:09,178 Do you need Bufferin? " 846 00:48:10,096 --> 00:48:11,764 You have to stay hot 847 00:48:13,390 --> 00:48:16,977 I don't care if you are 90 years old. You put the foreskin inside her. 848 00:48:17,978 --> 00:48:20,439 I don't care if you find one hump left. Damn, here 849 00:48:25,236 --> 00:48:27,113 With a bunch of foreskin. 850 00:48:27,988 --> 00:48:29,532 It must stay hot. 851 00:48:29,615 --> 00:48:32,618 Foreplay is not just before having sex. 852 00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:35,079 Foreplay throughout the day. 853 00:48:35,454 --> 00:48:38,457 p> 854 00:48:38,541 --> 00:48:40,352 You let him know I'm still interested in for your anatomy 855 00:48:40,376 --> 00:48:42,086 When he's in the cooking kitchen for you and children, 856 00:48:42,169 --> 00:48:43,879 Enter go there and squeeze the booty. 857 00:48:45,089 --> 00:48:47,800 "Just go ahead, Robert. 858 00:48:48,592 --> 00:48:51,512 You see these damn kids here. You'd better leave now." 859 00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:54,306 When you drive in a car, pull it towards the red light. 860 00:48:54,807 --> 00:48:56,642 "You'd better stop it! I'm not playing with you 861 00:49:00,312 --> 00:49:03,816 And, fellas, when you fuck for your wife, take your damn socks. 862 00:49:07,236 --> 00:49:10,281 Woman, if she doesn't take off her socks, it's not love 863 00:49:10,364 --> 00:49:12,950 It's only two ships passing at night. 864 00:49:19,915 --> 00:49:22,126 My wife is 18 years younger than me. 865 00:49:22,668 --> 00:49:24,837 Okay, my wife is 18 years younger from me. 866 00:49:25,212 --> 00:49:30,259 Sometimes - Sometimes the age difference Can be a little difficult. 867 00:49:30,718 --> 00:49:32,612 Like we had a fight that night, and I told him, 868 00:49:32,636 --> 00:49:35,055 "Look, I'm 47 years old. 869 00:49:35,139 --> 00:49:38,893 I won't sit here with you all night and argue about Beyonce." 870 00:49:41,687 --> 00:49:44,940 He said, "But Beyoncé and Jay Z is showing business royalties. " 871 00:49:45,024 --> 00:49:48,277 I said," Let me tell you something. Jay Z has just been hit by Solange. 872 00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:50,070 Aku tertabrak truk Walmart. " 873 00:49:55,576 --> 00:49:57,995 I fell in love with him, man. That's my baby 874 00:49:58,454 --> 00:50:00,539 My wife. I fell in love with her, man. 875 00:50:00,623 --> 00:50:03,500 But when you have a young wife who pretty like that you're married, 876 00:50:03,584 --> 00:50:04,853 and you're in love with him, 877 00:50:04,877 --> 00:50:07,379 This puts you in a disadvantageous position in relationship 878 00:50:07,463 --> 00:50:08,964 Because you will never leave. 879 00:50:09,048 --> 00:50:11,217 You will never leave it. Never. 880 00:50:11,300 --> 00:50:13,719 You talk your bullshit like you will, but you no. 881 00:50:14,053 --> 00:50:15,095 And he knows that. 882 00:50:15,179 --> 00:50:17,115 I told my wife a few days ago, "Let me tell you something. 883 00:50:17,139 --> 00:50:19,058 You still treat me like you treat me, 884 00:50:19,141 --> 00:50:20,351 One morning you will wake up, 885 00:50:20,434 --> 00:50:22,355 and I will sit there, Fuck. 886 00:50:24,521 --> 00:50:26,982 Bag black medical and your cappuccino 887 00:50:27,358 --> 00:50:29,026 There. I don't go anywhere. 888 00:50:29,109 --> 00:50:30,109 I'm not going anywhere. " 889 00:50:32,988 --> 00:50:34,073 They are not going anywhere. 890 00:50:35,241 --> 00:50:37,785 My wife is beautiful. She is half white and half black. 891 00:50:38,285 --> 00:50:40,913 There is an upper side and the bottom side, you know? 892 00:50:40,996 --> 00:50:44,291 Because he uses the word nigga with me, I don't know what side calls me nigga. 893 00:50:47,711 --> 00:50:50,172 If it's the black side call me nigga, cool 894 00:50:51,131 --> 00:50:54,301 But if the white side calls me nigga, we get a problem. 895 00:50:55,386 --> 00:50:58,264 You will make me say, "Don't call me a nigga, 896 00:50:59,098 --> 00:51:00,349 Whore your insults 897 00:51:06,689 --> 00:51:09,709 Because when I fight with my wife, I hope I argue with white people, 898 00:51:09,733 --> 00:51:13,404 Because white women don't curse you and insult your genitals 899 00:51:13,487 --> 00:51:16,573 In an argument, a white woman will listen to you... 900 00:51:17,283 --> 00:51:18,534 and then she will be shaken, 901 00:51:18,617 --> 00:51:21,745 Then she will walk into her room and contact his lawyer. 902 00:51:25,249 --> 00:51:28,794 I mean, where do you think the term is "The irreconcilable difference" originates? 903 00:51:28,877 --> 00:51:30,671 It's not from a black woman. 904 00:51:30,754 --> 00:51:33,132 For black women, any differences can be reconciled, 905 00:51:33,215 --> 00:51:35,426 As long as he has a knife and a fucking rolling pin. 906 00:51:39,763 --> 00:51:42,683 Because we live very the environment is prosperous now 907 00:51:43,350 --> 00:51:45,185 So when we argue... 908 00:51:45,894 --> 00:51:49,982 we don't scream anymore because there is an echo in the suburbs. 909 00:51:50,065 --> 00:51:52,860 And that crap echoes all the way around the block. 910 00:51:52,943 --> 00:51:55,988 "Bastard Bastard Bastard Bastard 911 00:51:56,071 --> 00:51:58,490 Bastard
Bastard Bastard Bastard - 912 00:51:58,574 --> 00:52:01,076 Oh, shit! Someone in our house. " 913 00:52:02,828 --> 00:52:04,663 But in the ghetto, it's not an echo. 914 00:52:04,747 --> 00:52:07,107 There's only a bunch of bastards shouting at each other. 915 00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:10,711 And if you think someone is in your house, someone is at your house 916 00:52:14,423 --> 00:52:17,426 Now I forgive the driver. I forgive the driver who hit me. 917 00:52:17,509 --> 00:52:18,844 I'm not even angry with him. 918 00:52:18,927 --> 00:52:22,306 But I will tell you who is angry with him. All of my neighbors are white. 919 00:52:26,101 --> 00:52:29,813 "Well if you never hit this horse, he won't stay next to me! 920 00:52:29,897 --> 00:52:31,357 I have a daughter. 921 00:52:35,778 --> 00:52:38,447 A group of biracial bastards running around here. " 922 00:52:46,121 --> 00:52:48,207 You know, God gave me a second chance. 923 00:52:48,290 --> 00:52:49,625 And I want to do better. 924 00:52:49,708 --> 00:52:51,126 [cheering, clapping] 925 00:52:51,210 --> 00:52:52,461 Aku ingin berbuat lebih baik. 926 00:52:54,421 --> 00:52:57,549 Especially at my marriage. Like my wife, I love my wife. 927 00:52:57,633 --> 00:52:58,675 He called me with my bullshit. 928 00:52:58,759 --> 00:53:00,570 He said, "Tracy, I tell you something, man. 929 00:53:00,594 --> 00:53:03,389 It's okay to be a bastard, but don't be nonsense. " 930 00:53:04,223 --> 00:53:07,434 Because there's a difference between jerk and bullshit 931 00:53:07,518 --> 00:53:10,896 Bastards will ruin your summer A piece of crap will ruin your 20s. 932 00:53:12,398 --> 00:53:13,982 A bastard will call you fat 933 00:53:14,066 --> 00:53:17,694 A piece of dirt will sell diabetes medication for Powerball tickets. 934 00:53:22,199 --> 00:53:24,743 Just trying to control my emotions now. 935 00:53:24,827 --> 00:53:26,829 When my wife yells at me, I don't shout back. 936 00:53:26,912 --> 00:53:29,289 I just went to the side of my house and I muttered. 937 00:53:29,998 --> 00:53:33,001 Sometimes I tripped and I said the word "bitch" too hard. 938 00:53:33,085 --> 00:53:36,171 The black side heard that. "Who do you call a bitch? 939 00:53:36,797 --> 00:53:39,174 You want this rolling pin raise your head again?" 940 00:53:40,843 --> 00:53:43,512 Then I take offense , and I walked into my room and called my lawyer. 941 00:53:47,599 --> 00:53:49,351 I'm a jealous person, man. 942 00:53:50,185 --> 00:53:51,478 I didn't mean to be with my wife, 943 00:53:51,562 --> 00:53:53,605 But I might be jealous in the hereafter 944 00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,525 In the hereafter... I told my wife a few days ago, 945 00:53:56,608 --> 00:53:59,528 You know, "If I have to leave this earth before you, God forbid... 946 00:54:00,446 --> 00:54:02,823 You'd better sit in that vagina for two years. 947 00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:07,286 Show your damn love.
If you want to go to another woman, cool. 948 00:54:07,369 --> 00:54:11,331 Saya hantu. Aku akan menghantuimu. Aku mungkin menginginkan tindakan gadis-gadis. 949 00:54:12,666 --> 00:54:16,462 But if you give it to another man, I'll put my ghost's foot on his ass. 950 00:54:16,545 --> 00:54:20,048 And if that doesn't work, I'll use a Cellphone or candlestick, damn it that. " 951 00:54:21,550 --> 00:54:22,384 I'm serious, man 952 00:54:22,468 --> 00:54:25,679 You're giving that shit too fast, you will be ridin & apos; the next bastard, 953 00:54:25,762 --> 00:54:27,514 and I'll knock a picture of a wall. 954 00:54:28,599 --> 00:54:29,683 "He's here!" 955 00:54:29,766 --> 00:54:31,226 "Who is here? 956 00:54:31,810 --> 00:54:35,022 You'd better ride this dick, damn it. I drive that truck all week. 957 00:54:35,355 --> 00:54:37,024 I spend a lot of money here. " 958 00:54:40,861 --> 00:54:43,780 Let me tell you something, man. When is my time to go back to heaven, 959 00:54:43,864 --> 00:54:44,990 I'm ready. 960 00:54:45,073 --> 00:54:46,408 I won't be afraid. 961 00:54:46,742 --> 00:54:47,868 I'm ready. 962 00:54:47,951 --> 00:54:49,244 I'll be fine. 963 00:54:49,328 --> 00:54:51,038 I met God. He is cool. 964 00:54:51,455 --> 00:54:54,791 You know, he's a hard donkey, But it's only because he is the Old Testament. 965 00:54:57,336 --> 00:54:58,837 Old Testament. 966 00:54:58,921 --> 00:55:00,839 You know, Jesus is cool. 967 00:55:00,923 --> 00:55:03,592 I'm up there partying with Jesus. He's cool 968 00:55:03,675 --> 00:55:04,927 Because he's a New Testament. 969 00:55:05,677 --> 00:55:07,346 Do you know what that guy is like? 970 00:55:07,429 --> 00:55:10,432 Jesus is that person It's always at the party 971 00:55:10,516 --> 00:55:12,768 and he always brings a good reefer. 972 00:55:14,394 --> 00:55:16,563 They don't call it weed. They call it reefer. 973 00:55:17,523 --> 00:55:19,942 And it was he who rolled the spliffs in the corner 974 00:55:20,025 --> 00:55:22,486 above the cover of Stevie Wonder's album. 975 00:55:23,070 --> 00:55:25,239 And poppin his party caused him. 976 00:55:25,322 --> 00:55:28,200 Here is Jesus at the party roll your joints. 977 00:55:28,784 --> 00:55:30,619 [playing funk music] 978 00:55:39,795 --> 00:55:41,588 [knocking on the door] 979 00:55:44,216 --> 00:55:45,092 Who is this? 980 00:55:45,175 --> 00:55:46,468 This guy Jimmy Mack. 981 00:55:46,552 --> 00:55:48,804 Let him enter. He's cool. That's my man Let him enter 982 00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:51,515 [funk music continues] 983 00:55:58,313 --> 00:55:59,606 [knocking on door] 984 00:56:03,652 --> 00:56:04,987 Who now 985 00:56:05,445 --> 00:56:06,530 [man] This is Tracy Morgan. 986 00:56:06,613 --> 00:56:08,657 Well, don't let that number enter. He is crazy. 987 00:56:09,408 --> 00:56:10,450 Send him back 988 00:56:12,869 --> 00:56:14,454 [funk music continues] 989 00:56:20,669 --> 00:56:22,379 [knocking on door] 990 00:56:24,715 --> 00:56:25,924 [knocking on door] 991 00:56:28,802 --> 00:56:29,928 [human] Jesus! 992 00:56:30,721 --> 00:56:33,682 Turn the crap over right now! 993 00:56:33,765 --> 00:56:35,058 That's what I appeared. 994 00:56:35,767 --> 00:56:37,185 Use something soft. 995 00:56:37,644 --> 00:56:41,982 [Donna Summer singing] ♪ On the radio ♪ 996 00:56:42,065 --> 00:56:44,067 [clapping, cheering] 997 00:56:53,785 --> 00:56:56,538 My name is Tracy Morgan. I love you. Peace I'm out. 998 00:56:56,622 --> 00:56:59,207 [cheering] 999 00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:01,335 [music continues] 1000 00:57:32,866 --> 00:57:34,576 ♪ On the radio ♪ 1001 00:57:34,660 --> 00:57:38,372 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh on the radio ♪ 1002 00:57:38,455 --> 00:57:42,000 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh on the radio ♪ 1003 00:57:42,084 --> 00:57:45,170 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh on the radio ♪ 1004 00:57:45,921 --> 00:57:47,756 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪ 1005 00:57:56,139 --> 00:58:00,394 ♪ Things aren't the same Since we broke up in June then ♪ 1006 00:58:03,563 --> 00:58:08,819 ♪ The only thing I want to hear is that you love me still ♪ 1007 00:58:11,113 --> 00:58:15,492 ♪ And that's what you think you will be home soon ♪ 1008 00:58:16,618 --> 00:58:18,704 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪ 1009 00:58:18,787 --> 00:58:23,500 ♪ Yeah, you kind of made me feel proud When I heard he said ♪