(ENVINI MACHINES)
Narrator: Welcome to Top Gear, classic special.
YEREMY: Oh yeah, that's better.
Narrator: All the wildest...
Oh, my God, scattered.
Narrator: Funniest...
Ow, ow, ow, ow...
Narrator: And interesting bits-est of all Top Gear specials,
inhuman crammed
- becomes a single compilation. - RICHARD: Aw.
JAMES: This is amazing.
Why don't all cars have doors?
Narrator: For more than a decade, Top Gear road trip,
and off-road trips...
Oh, ho ho...
Narrator: Has been handled the biggest question
- in driving. - Come on... God, no!
Narrator: Can the car free us?
Ah! Water goes into my car!
Narrator: Can they bring a culture together?
RICHARD: It's amazing to arrive in a place like that and just blend in.
Narrator: And is it really a good idea to use denim in a tropical climate?
Oh yeah!
Narrator: So, if you enjoy watching middle-aged men
sitting in a car,
drive across interesting landscapes while wearing jeans...
But thank you for reminding me.
Narrator:... and who isn't? You have come to the right place.
- You will destroy it. - I do not.
Narrator: Put yourself one pint of Horlicks, reply...
- Yes - Narrator:... and enjoy
the best from classic Top Gear specials.
(SCREAMS)
Narrator: When Kenny Loggins sings Highway to the Danger Zone...
Dirt.
Narrator:... he can talk about Top Gear road trips. He is not.
But he can.
Because of the danger of following boys in the whole world like trained geese.
Now, are you all gay find out how long to beat in the city of bumpkin?
Narrator: Right, some danger they bring themselves.
- If we enter here we die, right? - Yes.
Narrator: Some, they don't.
MAN: Puto, puto!
Narrator: But, as you will see...
That happened, that's what happened.
Narrator: They suffer more from their part...
Oh, this is tight, oh!
Narrator:... really a trouser-threatening terror.
Oh... Oh, that's scary!
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Miami... 34 degrees.
Narrator: Everything started in 2007 in the United States,
The first giant road trip from Top Gear.
And behind, a little sign.
A thousand miles across the far south,
in cars bought for one thousand dollars each.
Come on, Alabama is only 40 miles now.
Narrator: Everything goes unexpectedly well,
until the producers decide to spice up things with a little challenge.
Challenge time.
Ah, lose five pounds in one hour?
Yes, remember that.
- (SIGHS) - Come on.
No.
(INHALES)
Okay, he said here, we may not be shot or captured
when we drove across the proud state of Alabama.
But we will get bonus points,
if we can get one of the others shot or captured.
I don't understand. How do we do it?
"Therefore you will decorate each other's car in that way
" to draw maximum attention for yourself in this matter
"Bible study, redneck, very Christian part of Union."
Decorate?
Yes, I think what that means, each of us must write a slogan
in someone else's car, so you...
RICHARD: To get them killed?
- Yes so... - Alright.
... You do Hammond, bring it to the bush,
- you did... - I did yours.
I killed you.
- JAMES I have an idea. - Well, come on.
YEREMY: Oh... look at that.
South, South.
This is Christian hair, short, they don't like communism.
What is closest to their hearts?
I have to get him killed, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
I will disappoint you, I go down, everyone goes down.
(small laugh)
RICHARD: Revenge for all high jokes.
Every time he calls me Hamster.
This is for every time You are late and lost.
JAMES: Can you say what he said?
(JEREMY WHISTLING)
James, I hate you for that.
- I really hate you. - Just think about it all the time you drive to the back of my Cadillac.
- Yes - Do you really know, I think,
honestly we've all finished good work here,
but I believe that person is most likely shot
It's Hammond.
- Simple... - I think what you have done there,
- James, kill your friend. - Yes
YEREMY: Carefully, we rejoin the open road.
Three religions here.
George Bush, God, country and west,
in that order.
Ascending order.
I will be honest.
I feel less striking than this.
Here we are. Sweet home Alabama.
Pew, bench, bench!
(GUNSHOTS)
(PLAY MUSIC COUNTRY)
YEREMY: They have shot their own mark.
What will they do to us?
To understand what actually Jeremy was done on my car,
You must remember that this is a deep Republican territory.
That woman is arch-Democrat, she is anti-Christ.
RICHARD: Not just a slogan,
that's the fact that it's painted with pickup,
symbol of the South. I mean...
- (HONN HONKING) - Hi. Oh!
JAMES: And then Jeremy has written boot,
"NASCAR sucks".
Now it's the type of sedan racing
it's very, very big in this part of the world.
This is where all drivers come from,
all construction of the car has finished, all supporters come from here.
And to say that sucks,
a little like riding and punching someone's mother.
No no.
- (HORNING BLARING) - Whoa.
(HORNING HONKING)
YEREMY: We survived the road,
but then we have to withdraw into a city for fuel.
RICHARD: Oh, this is very scary.
Okay (LAUGHING).
YEREMY: Ha ha.
Only, um, it's solar.
- That's... I've left... - There... There...
(CHATTER INDISTINCT)
Hillary for the President, it doesn't work well.
(CHATTER INDISTINCT)
YEREMY: This woman was crucified, but didn't cross like a garage owner.
GAS STATION OWNERS: Who asked you?
(JAMES MUMBLING)
GAS STATION OWNERS: Now, are you all gay
and find out how long to be beaten in the city of bumpkin?
YEREMY: I'm not gay, I'm married.
I have three children.
RICHARD: Uh, no, we don't, no.
We just decorated our car in a different way.
- YEREMY: I just remembered, - "NASCAR sucks"?
- I have a lot of gasoline. - "Country and West are rubbish"?
Guess what, You are in a city of bumpkins, man.
We will die now,
- that's it. - WOMEN: Don't be brave. (BLEEP)
RICHARD: He said he would get a boy.
God.
RICHARD: So we decided to get worse.
I just remembered, I actually have a lot of gasoline.
(SLOW SUARA)
RICHARD: And then, from all moments.
JAMES: Oi, jump leads.
RICHARD: You're kidding. JAMES: Direct leads.
RICHARD: Not now.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
JAMES: This will happen the fastest jump in history.
RICHARD: Where... You get direction, I'll start.
WOMEN OWNER: Now you blocking my parking lot...
RICHARD: Redneck arrived.
RICHARD: We just got a little problem here.
- (CHATTER INDISTINCT) - (BLEEP)
RICHARD: This is bad.
RICHARD: Then they turned on the film crew.
WOMAN: (BLEEP) Hey!
They will defeat you. You clean this parking lot.
RICHARD: Hurry up.
MAN: Just power up and get out of here, I tell you now.
(HORSE THINKING)
RICHARD: Stone started throwing at our van.
Mango!
Oh, get out of here, now!
RICHARD: What happened...
(CHATTER INDISTINCT)
CREWMAN: Key. (BLEEP)
(MACHINES BEGIN)
RICHARD: For the next few moments, our TV program becomes a radio program.
(RADIO CHATTER)
JEREMY: (ON RADIO) Oh (BLEEP) there is a pickup truck.
Can you lower your legs? I think we have a lot of them on our tails.
(STATIC)
Something is happening here I told you,
because these three trucks are in the gas station now it's just torn past us.
RICHARD: (ON RADIO) We have to take out these slogans, friend.
DIRECTOR: (ON RADIO) Step aside, move on.
JAMES: Get the other side.
AWAKE: Give us something to do.
RICHARD: We don't have anything to delete now.
CREWMAN: Go away.
YEREMY: With lost artwork, we hit the road hard.
YEREMY: I did something I never thought I would do it,
I ran towards the border.
God in heaven, it's really scary.
They can kill us.
Narrator: From the South End to the north end.
As far north as that, actually.
North Pole.
Driving to the North Pole, the children are playing thin ice.
(ENGINE WHIRRING)
YEREMY: We have been warned before we leave that the constant tidal movement weakens the ice
where he met the beach.
They told us not to drive near the beach,
but how do you avoid it when you are on the Fjord?
Look at how narrow it is here. May not be more than one mile
if, if that.
They say don't approach the beach.
- And we can't not approach the beach. - Can't go near the beach.
YEREMY: To make things worse, ice here is very thin.
This is only, it's completely covered in cracks.
We just drove here and everything just collapsed,
it's just... It's nothing. Look.
We are facing a problem. We can't... There is no other way through here.
I mean, it's a cliff, there are steep cliffs like that.
We can't go ashore.
If we go back, is the only way we can go
is all the way back to Resolute, who gave up.
(ENGINE WHIRRING)
YEREMY: Based on there is no knowledge at all,
we decided to continue on our three-ton truck.
JAMES: The color is blue.
- I know. - I'm looking at the ocean.
I know.
YEREMY: If we cross the ice, is our only chance to escape will destroy the glass.
That... I don't like it that little display at all.
No, neither do I, but...
Do you think if we really... Damn.
(SLOW SUARA)
This is very scary.
YEREMY: When we are aware,
the nearest hospital is 1,500 miles away,
and the closest rescue helicopter farther than that,
we started to understand the danger where we are and what we did.
If we enter here we die, right?
Yes.
I mean, dead.
YEREMY: It continues like this for miles after kilometers.
Do you think we are... I think we really have
to the good ice edge, right?
James, we're out.
We succeeded!
That's flat!
Narrator: Patagonia, 2015.
Nearest in the world southern city
in the squeezed V8 sports car.
innocent number plates want to spell serious problems.
YEREMY: Who parked in the car a lot, James, do you know?
JAMES: Don't know, I've seen them before
and I'm not sure who they are.
YEREMY: Well, there are lots of interesting in camera vehicles.
RICHARD: What is that?
JAMES: I don't know what these people are doing,
but they are heading in this direction.
CREWMAN: Going forward.
YEREMY: Who is that? Will they come here?
- JAMES: (BLEEP) - YEREMY: James,
- please keep your face back. - (KNOCKS ON DOOR)
SECURITY CONSULTANTS: Vehicle there
with flags and all those items , and we get,
there must be around ten or fifteen in the foyer now.
I have spoken to managers,
he's a little...
There isn't, there's not much he can do, so...
I think right now if we all live in our room.
YEREMY: Alright, this is the situation, um...
We hid in this room, I don't know who it belongs to but it's not ours.
YEREMY: Uh, there's... There's a gang.
Nationalists, whatever, believe it Falklands are Argentineans,
they don't like English people, and they are in the hotel.
And we are stuck here and we don't know what happened.
(CHATTER INDISTINCT)
YEREMY: The demonstrators consisted of several Falkland war veterans
and their colleague,
who said if we don't stop filming there will be a problem.
The arrival of the police made us realize that this is not a unemployment threat.
(POLICE OFFICER SPEAKING IN SPAIN)
YEREMY: The veteran head accused us of putting fake license plates
the Porsche was intentional reference to the Falklands War.
Our producer tries to explain
it's not fake, and it will be replaced for soccer matches, but
they have no place.
(CHATTER INDISTINCT)
MAN: (ON RADIO) I am meeting with the police now.
Are you saying we have to get it just from Tierra Del Fuego?
MAN: (ON RADIO) That's right.
We were ordered to go Tierra Del Fuego, huh?
RADIO: Us. They want us, as humans, to get out.
(CHATTER INDISTINCT)
We have just been ordered out of Tierra Del Fuego,
ordered from Argentina effectively.
(CHINA INDISTINCT ON RADIO)
But we haven't... We haven't had any hostility at all on the whole trip,
everyone is very decent, very charming.
- Yes - YEREMY: Everything we want to do
come here and play football,
and what happens is...
(EXHALES)
YEREMY: The producers said it took 24 hours
to arrange departure like a big crew.
But even though the police are present,
veterans say mobs are on their way
and that there will be violence if we do not enter three.
(CHATTERING)
CREWMAN: Right, friends, take a little equipment, please.
Everyone takes something, okay?
AWAK: Where is that, there?
RICHARD: (ON RADIO) Going away...
I need help.
AWAK: Do we get escorted?
- San Sebastian. - CREWMAN: San Sebastian.
(CHATTER INDISTINCT)
YEREMY: Meanwhile, the three of us, who are the main targets
for the anger of the demonstrators,
still hiding in our room.
Now we have done all the Butch Cassidy items on the way here, and...
- RICHARD: Come on. - This is the original Butch Cassidy.
(CLANKS)
AWAK: Guys, everyone in the car.
YEREMY: With four tons of equipment loaded into the car,
31-strong film crew heading out of town.
(MAN ON RADIO)
RADIO: Yap.
YEREMY: And soon, darkness fell.
(MAN 1 ON RADIO)
YEREMY: Police escort will take them 184 miles
to the San Sebastian border city
where they will cross to Chile.
And because of the demands of the demonstrators have met,
the crew hopes they are out of danger.
But a few moments later they realized that they were not alone.
(CHATTER INDISTINCT)
AWAKE: The bike behind the star cars,
bikes behind star cars.
(RATTLING)
- Friends, they stopped... - RADIO: Okay, can you repeat...
-... and find out. -... that there are men...
AWAKE: They are looking for a Porsche.
(BLINKING INDICATORS)
(MAN 1 ON RADIO)
YEREMY: In the only way in the middle of nowhere
without telephone signal,
the crew is being hunted.
(HORNS SOUNDING)
AWAK: They will be aggressive.
YEREMY: Then outside the city of Tolhuin
the police told the convoy to pull over
and prepare for an attack.
(MAN 2 ON RADIO)
(MAN 1 ON RADIO)
(MAN 2 ON RADIO)
YEREMY: When they drive to town, a big crowd is waiting.
MAN 1: (ON RADIO) People on the left, many people on the left.
AWAKE: (BLEEP) Yes, look at this.
AWAKE: There are lots of people, guys.
AWAKE: (BLEEP) They are everywhere.
YEREMY: And they are arranged.
CREWMAN: And there are trucks slowing us down too. (BLEEP)
MAN 1: (ON RADIO) Blocking the truck the right lane.
CREWMAN: Too slow. That's intentional (BLEEP)
the truck is placed there.
CREWMAN: They came out. (GASPS) MAN 1: (ON RADIO) Okay,
makes everything thrown at me now. (BLEEP) Okay.
YEREMY: The first few hits come from eggs.
MAN 1: (ON RADIO) Make everything thrown at me now.
YEREMY: But then the stone starts.
MAN 1: (ON RADIO) Throwing stones, throwing stones.
MAN 2: (ON RADIO)... get the item thrown at us.
- (STATIC) - CREWMAN: He came on this side.
MAN 2: (ON RADIO)... things have been thrown at me now.
CREWMAN 1: Drive Ah (BLEEP) drive (BLEEP).
- CREWMAN 2: Are you okay? - (SIREN WAILING)
CREWMAN 1: Are you okay? CREWMAN 2: Yes.
CREWMAN 1: Look at this lot.
CREWMAN: Yes, down, down, down...
- (SIREN WAILING) - (CHATTER INDISTINCT)
(BLEEP)
- (MENGGUNTING) - (CHATTER INDISTINCT)
MAN: Puto! Puto!
- (SIREN WAILING) - (MACHINE REVS)
Puto!
CREWMAN: Look at the man on the right is ready, take care of yourself.
MAN 1: (ON RADIO) Keep it going, keep going.
Moving round, we move round.
- Come on come on let's go... - CREWMAN: On this side.
CREWMAN: Look at this (BLEEP) here, no, he (BLEEP).
CREWMAN: Watch out, Look at your right.
Go left.
- MAN 2: Continue to rotate the convoy... - Go left, continue.
- Now put it, right. -... keep on going.
- Floor to the right. - (SIREN WAILING)
(STATIC)
MAN 1: (ON RADIO)... leave. I hope everyone moves.
CREWMAN: Keep... Keep Carl, Keep Carl... Turn left...
MAN 2: (ON RADIO) Go, save the convoy is rolling, keep running.
CREWMAN: Uh, the truck wants...
Guys, take care of Carl, Carl, pull forward, in front of us.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
(HORNING BLARING)
(MAN 2 ON RADIO)
(MAN 1 ON RADIO)
YEREMY: Outside the city, the crew, two of them have been injured,
pull over to fix the crowd broken window.
CREWMAN: Alright, let's... Help and this one now.
YEREMY: And because they are a magnet for problems,
they have to leave Porsche, Ford and Lotus.
(MAN ON RADIO)
YEREMY: Back on the move, they are now heading to
for a much larger city Rio Grande where they were told
a mob of around 300 cars is waiting.
(MAN 1 ON RADIO)
(MAN 2 ON RADIO)
(MAN 3 ON RADIO)
(MAN 1 ON RADIO)
YEREMY: Fear of their lives,
the crew leaves the road and heads across the country
towards the river border we have used before.
MAN 1: (ON RADIO)... but they are directly.
(MAN 1 ON RADIO)
YEREMY: With police escort hanging back to make sure
the attackers don't see the trick,
the convoy made it to the river
where a few hours later during the day expresses the ferocity of the attack.
(ENGINE WHIRRING)
This time, there are no diggers or trucks to help navigate the river.
CREWMAN: Come on.
YEREMY: But after a few hours struggle, our team made it through.
- (HORNING BLARING) - (CLAPPING)
(cheering)
(HORNING HONKING)
(cheering)
YEREMY: And into the arms of Chile who are welcoming.
CREWMAN 1: We are happy to see you. CREWMAN 2: Hola, gracias.
Narrator: One of the joys of international travel is an opportunity to take examples of new dishes,
to treat your taste taste and sensation
from the most exotic range of the globe.
What is that?
Is this a chair leg?
Narrator: Unless you are Richard Hammond,
the idea of taste sensation
is combining ready-to-salted chips with salt and vinegar chips.
Don't like squid.
- OK. You can have crabs with... - I don't like crabs.
- Shaved Shells. - Don't like shells.
Narrator: However, when it comes to food,
Top Gear road trips always push the boundaries of taste.
This is chicken innards...
Actually, it doesn't say innards, is said to be chicken...
- What? - Internal.
We have ordered pickled pork ears,
uh, with vegetables dipped wrong seasoning sauce.
YEREMY: Hammond doesn't like all that,
and he also doesn't go for the main course.
YEREMY: Talking about demons, _ sparrows have arrived.
Oh, look at that.
Wafer skinny sparrows?
- No, I'm fine. - YEREMY: One small wafer sparrow.
No, I'm fine.
No, here it is. Yes, it's a tooth.
Narrator: Riding long Vietnam with a motorcycle...
YEREMY: We are in the cloud.
Narrator:... children decide the best way to turn off their pain
is to be without legs,
as they clearly eat dinner.
You haven't eaten anything since you arrived here, right?
I have, you haven't seen me. I always...
YEREMY: What have you eaten
- since you arrived here? - Lots of stuff.
He has some Cornflakes.
RICHARD: No, I'm trying... Only if they're different,
Because I like to try local culture and taste,
and they might be Different Cornflakes,
but I have eaten squid soup
- (JEREMY LAUGHS) - Arrangement of shellfish
before you enter, I have.
YEREMY: Then run we arrive.
RICHARD: Oh, God, I don't like snakes.
YEREMY: It will be delicious.
If I say it's chicken...
Alright, eat chicken!
Can I have it... half raw?
What are rare snakes?
Now, how do you have it? Good, I think.
YEREMY: Richard doesn't go for snake salad.
Or snake soup.
And he really doesn't go for the snake's heart which is still beating.
No, me, ha, oh, me, I'm fine. Drink a little...
I have tasted your world today.
- Yes - JAMES: Do you want
- RICHARD: Ugh. - Yes, you are just...
- It's on... Yes. - So it's an animal
which we found next to dead road
- for dinner. - Yes, it's our dinner.
RICHARD: Hey, just think about it.
You can prepare food, likes to cook, wash it,
I can then cook it, James, can dress for dinner!
(JEREMY LAUGHING)
RADIO PRESENTER 1: Potatoes, tomatoes, lots of things to know.
RADIO PRESENTER 2: I can see it. So let me ask you,
how high should bouncing pineapple when is it cooked?
(STATIC)
Okay, rep.
The, uh, power steering pump is really on the last leg.
I have a terrible wheel shake,
uh, but I was cool for the first time since I left.
I'm cool now.
YEREMY: To increase our chances find some killing ways,
we exchange Interstate for smaller roads.
And very quickly, we were lucky.
On the right, what is that?
Do you know what, I, I don't like it.
YEREMY: It doesn't matter anyway, because it's further on the road,
I found fresh and delicious taste. But then...
YEREMY: James, don't handle you...
You're an idiot, You just ran it.
It's not edible now, right?
YEREMY: To flatten our banquet, James was punished.
(JEREMY LAUGHING)
YEREMY: Finally, we found fresh meat but a little too fresh.
RICHARD: I think you will run it.
- No, even I won't do it. - (RICHARD LAUGHS)
YEREMY: What is... Ugh!
Don't do it, turtle.
How you can... There are no wild turtles.
RICHARD: They must be somewhere.
He escaped from some eight year old girl.
How does a turtle escape? Come back, come back.
RICHARD: Finally, ten miles on the road...
We have dinner.
- JAMES: Squirrel. - Look at that.
I think that with a little cheese will be delicious.
RICHARD: Don't look at that.
Right.
YEREMY: Look at May's face.
- RICHARD: Come on, in your car. - I never told you
My vegetarianism, am I?
YEREMY: Right away, we are near the field where we will camp for tonight.
YEREMY: Right now,
sunset, I'm with my friends,
it's below 90 degrees, we are in Deep South,
It's a nice night.
This is good.
YEREMY: But, we only have a squirrel for dinner,
so I peeled it to find the last meal
while others go ahead to set up camp.
RICHARD: Sorry.
Right, we have work to do.
Think of squirrels on a shelf,
and then maybe, here's my plan,
some herbs are decorated, something like that.
Um... I thought if I cooked it once
then maybe cook it again so it will be like crispy duck,
only that squirrel.
Will he come back?
We can't blow it up, right?
Okay, fine with rabbits,
You will cut off his head, You go to the middle.
But, all we have to do with is the tent stake.
- Didn't you bring a pen knife? - Not.
RICHARD: Time passes. And there's still no sign of Jeremy.
RICHARD: I don't peel it, friend. I don't understand why I have to do it.
- JAMES: Come on. - I don't want to peel the squirrel.
JAMES: I will take the squirrel.
- (HONN HONKING) - RICHARD: Is that a car?
JAMES: Is that Jezza?
RICHARD: James...
- JAMES: What does he have? - In all seriousness,
that... what?
(LAUGHING)
You must be...
It's a cow that lights up, friend!
(CLOSED DOORS)
YEREMY: Main course.
Yes. I... I'm thinking
how long have I been in the sun put that tent.
- YEREMY: Why? - Because of what I see,
(LAUGHING) You will like this,
is a cow on the roof of your Camaro.
- That's... - RICHARD: Right, right?
- That's a cow there. - Here.
Now I don't want to beat around the bush, but is that the way to kill?
What, you suggest I lower it?
- Well... - Check the front of my car.
I have to find someone to help me get it there,
but I don't run it, it's on the side of the road,
and now on the roof, and now our dinner.
Do you know what to do with it?
- Well, we have to... - Peel it?
- (LAUGHING) - I didn't peel it.
JAMES: First, we have to release it from the roof.
What if I spin around the corner fast enough, backwards?
- Um... - If I reverse...
- Left hand, huh. - Lower left,
it will roll like that, do we think?
I think he's good to go.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
- RICHARD: Yes, that's how it is! - (THUDS)
Hey, Jeremy...
- What? - I am better,
I can't see cows on the roof Your Camaro anymore.
- I'm m... - I'm not hungry.
- YEREMY: What? - I am not hungry.
YEREMY: You!
That smells, Jeremy.
Narrator: Crossing the Middle East,
stopping in Damascus gives boys opportunity to taste Syrian cuisine.
The cuisine seems to be rubbish - no does not want to approach the slaughterhouse.
JAMES: We met at a restaurant that specializes in sheep,
which means this once Captain Faddy is happy.
Do they have meat? I like meat.
JAMES: As it happened, they did not do it.
YEREMY: The Head of the Lamb, that... We've trained his head. Brain...
RICHARD: In a horror film, I'm in a horror film.
YEREMY: This is very impressive objects are testicles, testicles.
RICHARD: I don't want testicles.
YEREMY: Do you have a brain? JAMES: No,
- I'll be a little. - Have a little brain,
it's really beautiful.
RICHARD: Did you know, I'm really not hungry, I'm fine.
Narrator: We've all been there.
You're driving Deepest Bolivia, it's late,
You need something to get you excited.
YEREMY: When the darkness falls, we stop at the gas station
and in the shop we find even more from Kit Kats and pies.
Oh, wait a minute, caramel cocaine?
Now, that's something you don't see at every motorway service station.
- Wow. - You take it,
and then you talk for hours.
Let's have it.
YEREMY: Actually, the sweet one is made from coca leaves,
which is legal and used by local residents
to counteract the effects altitude sickness.
Hammond found them very excessive.
They are good, they are caramel.
- YEREMY: Caramelised... - I have about six.
YEREMY: Luckily, this has no effect at all.
All camping equipment and all, get there,
and when you get there, the trip ends
and this before M5 is finished,
and there are a few that are high and a little low,
and we always say
is this a high-low bit,
and Mom and Dad will say yes or no if not,
then we know how far to go to Weston,
but you have to go through Bristol,
what I always think about is a little messy...
YEREMY: Three... Start! RICHARD: Let him tear, yeah!
- Oh! - Oh good.
Short shift to second.
Narrator: The urge to race is as old as the man himself.
Head-to-head, locked in battle.
Hammond is like a crazy person.
Narrator: Battle to prove yourself the fastest...
RICHARD: Come on... Oh, that's... Agh!
Narrator: Fittest, the most basic human instinct.
(ENVINI MACHINE)
JAMES: I can even get third gear.
Waiting for that. This is it.
Narrator: Unless you are James May.
Yes! Not.
Narrator: A man with all competitive instincts and the natural speed of giant laziness.
Even so, wherever they visit In the world,
Top Gear boys are usually found somewhere to press in a fast race.
Even if the race track happens becomes an ancient Hippodrome in the dusty desert of Jordan.
- YEREMY: This is the race track. - This is oval.
JAMES: This is oval, huh.
YEREMY: This... This is NASCAR, what is that.
RICHARD: The origin of.
How do the Romans know?
- That's foresight. - They don't...
That means... I mean... They are talked about as advanced.
- They. - Do you know what I'm thinking, chaps?
- Let me guess. - I think I did, actually.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
JAMES: Here it is, Roman rally.
RICHARD: Sure enough we were allowed to do this.
I can't imagine them going to... Why are they complaining?
That is a place of entertainment is not that, of course?
YEREMY: I am in the Old Testament
in MX5,
when we enter the second position, the power slides through Leviticus.
Automatic isn't good
for classic train racing.
YEREMY: Hammond weaves.
Oh, he tried to fill me with sand.
RICHARD: Driving exhibition section
from Hammond on the front-wheel drive of Barchetta.
YEREMY: Now to main straight,
to the third and to Deforestation Dam.
YEREMY: NASCAR Old Testament is the best motorsport ever,
aside from one small problem.
RICHARD: Ah... That's a lot of dust coming in.
JAMES: I can't see something bleeding here.
Ah!
YEREMY: Ah!
Sorry.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
A little blind here. Racing in fog.
Ooh!
RICHARD: My helmet fell, I can't see...
If someone comes, someone will see this dust
then they will come, and then there will be anger and anger.
RICHARD: I can't see it at all now.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
YEREMY: Before we are destroyed is a 2,000-year-old Roman pillar,
we decided to agree that Fiat Hammond is the fastest
and call it a day.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
RICHARD: Really extraordinary.
That's the best history lesson I've ever had.
Narrator: You know what they say.
When life gives you lemon, makes lemonade.
And when life gives you a lot of trucks,
and a dozen lane highway in the middle of the Burmese city that was abandoned,
make racing.
YEREMY: We hold drag races.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
This is not fair.
I have the same 6.4 liters Isuzu straight six diesel
like Jeremy and maybe James,
but the wooden bus is bigger.
We will not close ourselves in glory here, old girl.
- (TAPS) - (MACHINE REVS)
(SPEAKING LOCAL LANGUAGES)
Start disaster.
That is there.
This will hurt. You go must convince you hard.
Ah...
Sports trucks increase.
- Get... - Get it.
Get... Get it.
No!
(ENVINI MACHINES)
115 kilometers per hour!
JAMES: Come on!
Yes.
Oh, victory is sweet.
Second place.
But I have a stork.
You have to brake, you have to brake.
Oh... Got a ball under the brake pedal. Its bad.
Hammond, it's done?
(ENVINI MACHINES)
Still running.
(LOCALS SINGING)
Narrator: As everyone knows,
governing one crossing Botswana
at a very cheap price, a driving car that is not very four wheels
is to take things easily.
Don't put your vehicle under unnecessary tension.
- Because almost everyone knows. - Uh, hello. There it is.
(LIVING CONTINUE)
Your car has traveled far and suffered a lot.
RICHARD: Yes, they have.
So now we will find out how much their performance has been lost
in a competition against time on a special rally stage.
My property can't lose any performance, never existed.
- Right. - And I won't damage my Mercedes for only a few points.
You are right, you are not, because you did not drive it.
RICHARD: Yes, who?
Someone said he looked The Lion King 1,780 times,
and his best second friend is Cape buffalo.
What we know is that he is not a Stig,
but he is an African cousin Stig.
(CLATTERING)
Wow.
YEREMY: He protects important parts.
RICHARD: Interested in going, three of us turned on our engine.
And we drive to the Stig Africa rally stage
which is on a dry riverbed several miles away.
With a crowded audience stand,
(MOOING)
Oliver goes first.
- Three, two, one, leave. - (ENGINE REVS)
RICHARD: Good start!
YEREMY: Three miles per hour.
RICHARD: You know when it's new, does it have 40 horsepower?
YEREMY: Yes. If you lose one year
- it's minus four... - Minus four now, huh.
YEREMY: He circled first corner, wait.
It is a power slide.
RICHARD: Look at that, it looks...
YEREMY: Uh, silly is the word you're looking for.
YEREMY: When Kadett struggles to climb the hill, the audience leaves.
- (JAMES LAUGHS) - RICHARD: It has...
Come on, shake, cousin Stig.
- (ENGINEERING REVS) - He enjoyed it.
- Oh yeah. - YEREMY: And...
One minute, 12 seconds.
I think it's a good benchmark for you to try and beat.
JAMES: Next is the Panzer tank.
The strongest, longest,
- Best tires, suspension... - Toughest, at the latest...
-... for this kind of thing. - Longest? The longest is good
- to rally, right? - This is about this, huh.
So why not, on loose surfaces demonstrations then they don't show up
with intercity trains?
Leave!
Yes.
YEREMY: That's the most ridiculous
the spectacle I've seen in my whole life,
Mercedes without a hood, no front wings, no doors.
JAMES: At hand Stig Africa though, it's flying.
JAMES: It's the latest in long lines pedigree peddled Mercedes Benz sports cars...
YEREMY: There has never been a Mercedes rally car.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
RICHARD: Oh, you fly up the hill, look.
YEREMY: You wait until you see it, Lancia will dance there.
JAMES: Oh yes. Fun. RICHARD: Oh, that's out of control now.
YEREMY: That's a big slide.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
One minute six.
Can I do the old one...
RICHARD: I hate you arrogantly. YEREMY: No, let him do it.
It's like winning the semifinals.
YEREMY: The time is now to put James in place
because Lancia is at home
with its pedigree.
Stratos, 037. What?
(LAUGHING)
RICHARD: It's not dust, it's burning.
Turn it off. Can you turn it off?
(LAUGHING)
RICHARD: Look at everything.
JAMES: Stopwatch is still running. Forty five seconds.
- YEREMY: We will replace the seal. - Yes
Then,
when it has cooled down a bit, he will be able to do the round
He will experience difficulties, he left.
(LAUGHING)
He... Maybe he starts. Maybe... Start the stopwatch.
I thought he was in a hurry so he decided not to take your car.
- Hey, Jeremy... - What?
You are right there, Your machine, it's tilted.
Narrator: In 2011, boys went to India on trade mission
to show off the best from England.
And what can be more English than climbing a humble hill?
Oh yeah.
Good little course. One kilometer, perfect.
And what we did was invited some local Indians to bring any vehicle they have together
to see how fast they can go up the hill.
This should be a good day sport.
YEREMY: And of course, is not only Indians get this traditional taste British Motorsport,
we will have the opportunity to see what kind of vehicle you like by the head of Indian gasoline.
- RICHARD: Go, huh! - He goes.
- He left. - Yes!
- We're on our way! - RICHARD: We have done something.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
YEREMY: What is a motorcycle?
Because this is our leaderboard I have to explain.
That is Rajdoot 175.
YEREMY: A few moments later, we got our first chance.
- One minute 20.6 - Is that fast?
- No idea. - We don't know.
YEREMY: Next is the Hindustan Ambassador,
which began in life as Morris Oxford,
and still produced in Calcutta 63 years later.
RICHARD: Leave!
- Has he left? - He still leaves.
YEREMY: Whoa. RICHARD: Still walking.
Oh, that, it smells...
YEREMY: It smells British in the 50s.
YEREMY: When Hindustan is finished,
it is the turn of the new Indian child, Tata Nano.
Which one, at 1,900 quid,
is the cheapest car in the world now.
RICHARD:... one, start.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
Less smoke.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
YEREMY: Maybe it only has 600cc two-cylinder engine,
but that doesn't stop it starting from a good show.
- One 14.7. - (GASPS)
- Oh, that's our first. - Whoa.
Blistering time of day.
That's a fast car.
That's actually, it turns out that is very fast.
Do you know what will happen?
He will think, "Oh, I'll go up the hill next week,
" And I want to know if it will be a little faster if I get that English
"fuel pipe hose...
-" I can increase... " -" I can fix it, "
and then someone in England who made the hose...
- Get sales. -... it's better...
Get sales.
YEREMY: Next is the most popular taxi turn in India,
incredible tuk-tuk.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
JAMES: This will back down.
He leaves, he leaves, he leaves, he leaves, he leaves.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
That's better.
YEREMY: I have cancer now.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
You know Reliant Robin is not a stable vehicle,
as I've proven many times.
That makes the Robin Reliant look like a train locomotive.
YEREMY: As shown in the next corner.
(CRASHES)
YEREMY: Despite this accident,
locals keep coming.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
Good work, thank you very much for taking part.
RICHARD: Good luck.
YEREMY: Actually, _ climbing our hill is very popular...
(ENVINI MACHINES)
- Go away. - YEREMY: Whoa.
YEREMY: Those things happen soon out of control.
(CLANKS)
(HORK HONKING)
(CHATTER INDISTINCT)
Finally, the police arrived,
but only so they can leave.
RICHARD: This is a bad box.
I will watch this on TV.
I will, more than Formula One.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
RICHARD: With a almost full leaderboard,
it's our turn to set the time.
But it gave us a little diplomatic problem.
Well, we need to show it that our car is good,
- because they are British. - Yes. But we don't want to,
- You know... No, that kind of thing. - Well, a little.
- A little victory. - No, no, no, no, no.
There is no victory at all.
- Can not hold the event and win. - Mix a little.
- No, we really can't. Exactly. - About small wins?
We hold an event, you will have it to present a present for yourself.
RICHARD: After making Jeremy's promise he won't win,
I line up Mini.
Three two one!
- (MACHINE REVS) - (SHORT SLOPE)
And we leave. This is what Mini was born to do.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
This won the Monte Carlo Rally,
and watching one of them in classic touring car races
really, really brilliant.
Every major driver period has one.
Enzo Ferrari has these three things.
(LAUGHING)
I enforce the legend here.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
The finish line is visible.
Oh, I can't go too, I can't win.
I... No one can see. I just left to give myself a ten second penalty
because of me, I don't want... you know.
- Yes, that's for sure. - (ENGINE REVS)
- And over the limit. - (ENGINE REVS)
JAMES: Hammond Diplomacy works brilliantly.
And now it's my turn.
RICHARD: Start.
YEREMY: Still passing. Still passing, is still running. Oh, it's gone.
Rolls-Royce is certainly not real heritage of motorsport,
separate from one rally that Shadow was put back in the 60s.
Didn't do it well, and it was, uh, that complimented me
- Big big lean. - Yes, that's James.
- Not only... - Yes, there is no last one,
that's how to roast it.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
JAMES: Remember, Rolls-Royce is designed to stop you driving
like hooligan. It kind of says, "Are you sure, sir?"
Check mid-race. (HORK HONKING) Everything is fine.
We both suffer from intestinal sweat.
Yes. Well, this is interesting here, You don't need your penis.
You drink and drink and drink,
and it just came out only in other places.
This is not needed.
Thank you, Dr. Clarkson, that's an interesting theory.
JAMES: Here it is at the finish.
RICHARD: James also posted a wise and attentive time,
and now we can only hope
orangutans will do the same.
RICHARD: Jeremy... YEREMY: What?
And you can feel the genealogy here now when I release it via S.
He wants to finish about... 1.16...
Yes, there is nothing between Mini and Rolls
because it's kind of what you expect.
- (PENDEK LERENG) - YEREMY: Kiss the top,
turn it off from there, up the hill.
The only problem I really have
the gearbox won't kick down.
That's of course because it's a ZF box
made by Germans,
and I only tell you if you are Indian,
German is a saying for poor quality.
He will stop. He will rest before the top.
I told him that was what I did. Just shut up, then...
(SLOW SUARA)
And there is a final line. Power!
(ENVINI MACHINES)
RICHARD: So, in the third place, the Maruti Jeep driven by Natish.
Where are you? Get out, work well.
- YEREMY: Very good. - Yes!
And in the second place, Tata Nano which is driven by Sorap.
RICHARD: Very good. It's done well.
YEREMY: Good man. It's done well. RICHARD: And so on,
First Top Gear winner
English-Indian hill climb climbing event
is Jaguar XJS driven by Jeremy...
YEREMY: Yes. Here it is...
Thank you very much. So...
- Losers. - RICHARD: Oh, God.
YEREMY: Indians, first...
RICHARD: Thanks to Jeremy,
hill climb hasn't a diplomatic success.
Narrator: Nile Source.
Even Dr. Livingstone never found it.
Follow me, river in this way.
Narrator: But that might be because Livingstone is not armed with three shady old plantations,
and a sense of optimism that is misplaced.
Rookie mistake.
The source of our river is somewhere there, okay?
Now only one of us can technically get there first.
They will be remembered. The other two will be forgotten
because nobody remembers who came second.
So, we propose a race.
JAMES: Yes. YEREMY: Three, two, one, go,
and anyone who finds the source first,
into history books, is buried in Westminster Abbey.
They dig Livingstone, waste him, you are wrong.
You don't have to be buried immediately?
- No, no, when you die. - No, no.
- When you die. - When you die. Are we ready?
- Yes. - Hey, the producer isn't here,
- They are on the other side. - You shout away.
- I will do it at my Tannoy. - In Tannoy, yes.
- Yes, use your item. Well. - We are ready, gentlemen?
- Yes. - I am ready.
This is for everything.
The biggest race in the history of mankind
will begin.
JEREMY: (ON TANNOY) Three, two, one, start!
Power, and so on.
Where is Jeremy? He... What did he do?
(RATTLING)
Did they not learn anything from last night?
Because I did it. Speed causes puncture.
Seventeen miles per hour, that's what you need.
I don't want to stab, I want to win this
because this is a race for glory.
The winner will be included in history books,
the loser will silently forget,
they will open a shoe store maybe in Durham.
(RATTLING)
JAMES: Top Gear ARU
has found an area from a hilly area 12 miles to the east,
where we believe we will find the source of the Nile River.
Starting there is important first.
Richard Hammond is hot on my tail in searching for Nile sources, with corrected suspensions.
RICHARD: It's as fast as because I dare to go, I...
Oh! Ow
The car just had a major operation.
I just closed the patient's chest
and I forced him to play rugby.
(RATTLING)
JAMES: If Richard Hammond beat me in this race,
he will be awarded by the Queen.
He will say, "Rise up, Sir Richard.
" Oh, you already have. "
Where is Jeremy?
(RATTLING)
YEREMY: This is James May, Motorbike Christian doesn't work ,
they don't get a puncture.
I will type again.
Power!
I am a one-person dust machine.
(ENVINI MACHINES)
Hammond will do it. He moves.
(LAUGHING) JAMES: For the next few miles, we crammed to lead. Ah, neck and neck.
RICHARD: Oh, no.
I'm going to go, I'll do it .
Oh...
(LAUGHING)
Oh! Ah!
Yes.
They are there! I caught.
Oh, no, the warning light came to say my car needed service.
Ah... Ah, this just killed my car.
Ow
JAMES: We are now in that area where the source should be,
so we have to go out and find it.
Going must go somewhere.
Oh, wait, wait, what's this?
There.
Come on!
Bugger Clarkson.
Yes, what do you think about that?
(LAUGHS) Westminster Abbey is mine.
YEREMY: When the terrain is open, we realize that in normal racing
people tend to know where the line is.
In what direction?
YEREMY: But we must rely on intelligence and cunning.
Right, trees. Trees all grow together
small valleys, can only mean rivers.
It's a valley, I'm not going there.
Nile sources will not be in the valley.
RICHARD: (LAUGHING) Uphill, you understand? Uphill is good.
Really lost my direction here, is completely gone.
Wait a minute. This... Oh.
This looks... This looks like flow.
This will decrease like that,
so I followed it and the source is on that stone.
Must. Oh, yes.
JEREMY: Rocks.
Lots of stones. That kind of thing is a magical place that I anticipated
find the source of the Nile.
There is a little move,
to be like that. Right, here it is.
It must be like this, and Clarkson clearly has the same idea.
JAMES: So is Hammond.
Ah... Ow, ow, ow.
YEREMY: Can you imagine children from future learning
in history lessons about Sir Richard Hammond?
Nobody wants to think about that.
JAMES: Because only one of us can reach immortality in history books, things soon become a little ugly.
Hammond attacked him!
(FALL)
Get off.
(LAUGHING)
I'm passing.
Hammond is right in my way now. He really annoyed me.
I know how I can get Hammond out of my way.
What!
I lead again.
JAMES: No, whoa!
Volvo has so far been out of his comfort zone.
(CLATTERING)
Will go down in history.
YEREMY: Everyone told me this...
This is the highest land miles away.
It must be there.
Argh!
But there is no more than a few hundred meters now,
we can take a few punches.
(RATTLING)
JAMES: Whoa!
RICHARD: James, your suspension has collapsed.
Your rear wheel is off, I'm not kidding.
(LAUGHING)
My car collapsed. I want to walk.
YEREMY: Like now Richard and me.
End of the road for you, old friend. I will tell you what, I'm leaving.
(PANTING)
This is geology, Jeremy, geology.
What do we get here? We have bedrock,
we have sinking land
shows the presence of springs in my mind.
(PANTING)
JAMES: Lizard.
Look at that. Flow has done this. But where is the source?
This is wet. Wait.
It's wet. It's wet.
This can be a stream. This is the flow I'm walking. This.
(PANTING)
(BLEEP) Hammond doesn't have this.
This decreases, it doesn't mean starts from above.
Wait. Wait. Is that?
No.
Here?
- That. - Yes.
Yes! Sorry, friend, it's near.
Hammond!
It's done well. That is the source of the Nile River.
JAMES: I will put my finger in it. Excuse me.
That is the root of that civilization feeding the ancient Egyptians.
No, not my finger. Air.
YEREMY: It will make healthy Sudan, Egypt,
Greece, Italy, Spain, Morocco, Algeria. Water is the source of life...
- Of all of that. -... of all that.
So that is an undeniable source of _ the Nile.
That is the person who found it,
and somewhere down there The destroyed Volvo brought him here.
We now have to claim this, this is small pool for Top Gear, so, be patient, me, while I...
Is the Top Gear flag a little bigger than the Union flag?
- Yes, right? - Yes, it is true.
Have we got it the right way this time, so we don't get...
So, this is what I recommend, chapter. We plant flags,
and then we do what's great Victoria explorers do
is posing for a photo
by our findings, huh?
RICHARD: With the pose.
MAN: Wait for the bird. Three two one.
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Give this inverse name, May. Mention one upside down.
Narrator: Conquering the most extreme environment on Earth
requires precise driving skills from the highest order.
JAMES: Oh, rooster!
Aah! Water goes into my car!
Narrator: Control the fingertip car.
Perfect placement.
Oh God.
Narrator: The ability to become one with your machine.
Oh, I'm very sick of that voice!
Narrator: Jeremy, James and Richard
do not have this skill.
JAMES: Stop, stop, stop!
RICHARD: Yes, that's it! Oh!
Narrator: But they still spend a decade grazing some
the least suitable car in the world in some of the scariest...
Oh Christ, I don't know where the wheel is.
Narrator:... wettest, coldest, the most challenging terrain.
See, only a large rock slide has damaged the road.
Narrator: To be honest, it's difficult to do it understand how they are still alive.
Here we are. This is a country of cocaine.
Narrator: Especially when, in 2009,
they were assigned to handle Bolivia Camino a los Yungas,
also known as the Way of Death.
YEREMY: We see why the road has getting its name.
God Almighty, it's high.
That is a big and massive decline.
This is crazy.
Oh!
Grass clings and you don't need to look far down
that and then you get one of those little gaps
and then you just look down and it's far away.
There is one there.
YEREMY: Dust also doesn't help.
Oh, wow, look at that, it's narrow.
- (TONGKAT HORNING) - Jesus H Christ...
Whoa.
I don't know what I did. I don't understand the rules on this road.
You seem to drive one minute on the left, one minute on the right,
sometimes a truck stops going to another way to let you through,
sometimes not.
Some lorries stop, others come up behind you do
three and a half times the speed is heard, it's really confusing.
- (TAPS HORN) - Thank you.
Thoughts, we oppose trucks.
I have to pass him and that means happens on that side.
(HONKING)
Looking straight ahead. Ah, breathe.
YEREMY: A little later, James slows down to let the local pass go crazy.
Does that mean there is one of them crazy taxi driver?
- (HONKING) - YEREMY: And I don't.
YEREMY: God.
I will be perfect (BLEEP) directly with you about this
You will now get tied to death.
- I'm watching a taxi. - I do not care.
I warn you. Am I or not I warning you?
James killed Jeremy. So everything went well.
- I'm watching a taxi. - You do not!
I'm watching a taxi.
Is your colleague presenter on your television program
just attacking you with a machete?
Yes, he did it. He came to the window and was quite crossed because I met him.
That doesn't happen to like, clothing program
- or garden shows. - Look at it.
RICHARD: When we rise higher, lives on a Toyota that has been beaten
to be really scary.
That's my steering wheel. I am inches from death. There.
The steering wheel does nothing. My brakes stick
when I will climb, and cause the clutch to slip.
I can't breathe because dust enters.
- (HONKING) - God! That, it's really scared now.
When I will go down the same brake which will continue to climb
don't stop me. Ahh
JAMES: Suzuki is also showing tension.
(BLEEP)
JAMES: Aah!
What's the problem?
There is dirt in the fuel system from the river.
- So it's broken. - Not broken.
Every now and then a little passes.
Your simple, cheap car is broken.
YEREMY: Stick to the Top Gear brotherhood code ,
I left James and Richard behind.
Just go to show that they are made badly, Japanese cars.
They are made badly.
RICHARD: James and I decided to stay together.
RICHARD: He will never target us. God, he is.
That's crazy. (CLEARS THROAT) Oh!
(EXHALES)
Right, I'm in a ditch.
Um, okay. Yes.
Didn't see this. Oh, ho, what to miss. Right.
RICHARD: There is no big problem, because I work colleagues will scream at me in the blink of an eye.
- Hold it. - What?
- Winch doesn't work. - (CLICKING)
I'm now alone on Death Road. I don't know where Ray Mears is and Ted Nugent are. They just disappeared.
They don't have cellphones, they're not on the radio.
They can die.
RICHARD: We will actually die soon,
seen from the mood of the angry resident trapped.
- Good luck. - Thank you.
Handbrake dies, and so on.
The ditch will be parallel, so it will be fine.
This is it. Good man.
RICHARD: Soon, I hope I stay in the sewer
because Toyota has developed again.
Something is broken. In the back corner.
This is quite close to not being maintained now.
Right.
YEREMY: Meanwhile, very far ahead...
I am now at 5,500 feet above sea level and still climbing.
Oh, God, cross.
Many crosses there.
YEREMY: And then under the waterfall, I learned why
there are many crosses here.
God! Not.
Gosh...
Stop there!
That happened. That happened!
God!
(EXHALES)
RICHARD: We're still miles away.
It's almost dark and worse,
Alternator James does not charge the battery.
With how many run your car with the headlights
Will shorten the battery life and then kill the engine?
We won't know exactly, but it's enough for a little. They have started
a little dim, honest.
God, this is murder.
RICHARD: Soon, the inevitable happens.
My car is now dead and without a new battery.
RICHARD: Because the alternator is one of them several things that work on Toyota,
I exchanged the battery of my life for James' who died.
I think it's good enough for me to donate my battery to you.
- Yes it is. - That is.
And this time we won't run with the lights on.
No, fine. We will use a torch.
- Yes. Strap the pair forward. - Wait a minute.
Okay, I have waited until night arrived here on top
the way of death and my colleagues is not here.
That means they have to die. Therefore I have made them,
I think, rather touching memories.
JAMES: With a torch installed, this my view of the Way of Death.
Hammond, I want to say something to you which I won't say next time.
What?
Please don't leave me.
Oh, God, those words will stay with me for a while.
I will struggle to forget it. No, I do not want.
Narrator: How to make a river is a little more difficult.
First step, use a car that should never, under any circumstances,
used to navigate the river.
The second step, fill the river with crocodiles and hippos.
Oh, I say, there's a land horn bill there.
It's getting deeper.
YEREMY: Oh, wait a minute.
Permission to say chicken. It came.
YEREMY: Thunderbird One to save.
JAMES: (ON RADIO) Come on, I'm sinking near the bow.
Arrival.
Ah no! I can't help you.
Come on.
- James, I'm in a low sports car. - I will go down.
That's good. Yes!
I have water in my car!
I have a wet part! We are done.
YEREMY: Both of our cars were flooded, but our guide wasn't disturbed at all.
Surrey people, uh, if this happens to you, you get water in feet well and you need to spend it,
You will need a hole, yeah, Botswana people have tips for you.
(SOUND SHOTS)
RICHARD: Meanwhile, using patience, I found the right crossing point.
There are techniques for creating rivers.
Even at Ford that's right like this.
You have to keep fast enough that you push the arc wave like that,
and you use whatever power you have engine, come on, come on, come on.
God! Not!
God!
It stopped! Down! I can't open the door.
God!
Please! Come on out, come on, float, float, float!
Oliver!
Hammond, how are you?
Well, I have a little water on it.
YEREMY: We also did it but it didn't matter
Because we use guns,
we shot the car and all the water was drained. Brilliant.
Good. I might need a shotgun.
RICHARD: As a local tourist truck was pulled I came out, the hyena laughed arrived.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
RICHARD: May give a diagnosis.
Oh, friend. Start from above. The battery may be quite tired.
And then the carburetor will flood, in the literal sense.
Then work, close the distributor, it will be full of water.
And the machine itself. I mean, if a little water goes into the cylinder
You might have compressed it and damaged something.
Oil will be destroyed. Therefore...
RICHARD: I can fix it.
Will you try and fix this?
If you leave me for that, yes.
YEREMY: So we succeeded.
I will not be beaten by dogs!
Narrator: Like the old saying,
when racing a man on a husky sled to a magnetic North Pole,
only stupid people enter the ice boulder.
How wise are people of old.
How does nature do it come with it?
YEREMY: This is an absolute definition of the chaos theory there.
The field of chunks begins immediately to crush us.
We can't pass ice blocks.
That's impossible.
YEREMY: And among them is a 15-foot-deep snow stack.
Every time we turn the wheel, you sink a little more.
This is very difficult work. And it's very cold. And it's pretty quiet here.
JAMES: Bumps of rock also a labyrinth. We spend hours choosing routes.
- That way. Like that. - What?
JAMES: Then press complete dead end.
YEREMY: There must be another way through here.
Down there, there, there.
JAMES: Then it gets worse.
Kokang.
YEREMY: This is a solid ice lump and there is one more behind.
The car just sank between them.
There seems to be no help good because of the other two cars...
I can only see one, miles and miles away and they're both stuck too, so we have to get this out, somehow.
But with every minute gone by Hammond is getting closer.
Whoo!
YEREMY: No, James, it won't work.
JAMES: Oh, that's ice too.
JAMES: It took three hours to cut ourselves free.
(DENGKUR)
JAMES: Try that.
This just paralyzed us. We've been here almost a day.
YEREMY: When we lose more and more in the ice maze,
we lose all sense of time and distance.
At 4:00 a.m. and it was only a nightmare.
We only cover inches, inches per hour, literally.
YEREMY: When we camped, we've been in a rock field
for 20 hours and we only a mile closer to the pole.
RICHARD: Hensen, Hensen, come on.
RICHARD: Meanwhile, we've cleaned Bathurst Island,
but a brutal step starts for anger.
WOMAN: Thank you, do you want to see if it fits?
I need a new dog. She is beautiful...
RICHARD: You can try it, but there is no one else here and I have a spade.
I won't.
(DOGS BARKING)
At one point today I have to count dog tracks
to the carabiner which holds them to the sled.
We release the instructions and return them.
There are ten, because there are ten dogs. I need three attempts to count to ten.
(WIND HOWLING)
YEREMY: After two hours kip we are also tired,
and begin to understand why no has ever ridden a car to the previous pole.
YEREMY: Oh no.
- Right. - Look at that.
I know. And it is on the horizon and it is still a chunk of ice.
That means bad ice out there.
(Sigh)
We will be here forever.
YEREMY: But we have to go out because we have limited fuel, limited food
and here, there is absolutely no chance to save.
My dream of a luxury trip to the pole ragged.
YEREMY: My hands are frozen, James.
JAMES: This won't work.
YEREMY: I just said, when I arrived got to the bottom of the slope
we go back to our place.
- I know. - Another half hour.
You don't need to remind me.
YEREMY: In eight hours we don't go anywhere.
JEREMY: Slow... (MUTTERING)
- YEREMY: Can you turn off the camera? - Yes
RICHARD: We, meanwhile, are sailing on the fjord where May has passed ice, but we don't need to worry, sort of...
Ah ah.
RICHARD:... because Mattie released her secret weapon.
RICHARD: This is a kite. Mattie installed it and skied with it.
It saves weight, motivates dogs.
Yes, now that we are making progress, now we are making progress.
Ha ha. Wow! Wow, wow!
JAMES: After two days everywhere, Jeremy's patience has flinched.
JAMES: Uh-oh. YEREMY: Oh my God, what is that?
JAMES: I think it's an extra fuel tank.
I will tell you something else too...
JEREMY: The fuel tank has just been down from below.
- I will tell you something else. - YEREMY: What?
It smells very similar might leak.
YEREMY: Oh, God, wait a minute, James, James, James.
The prop shaft is gouged into hell and the fuel tank is gouged into hell.
JAMES: How much is in the main tank now?
YEREMY: If we lose fuel, we have to get as much as possible
into other tanks.
RICHARD: The miles are falling.
YEREMY: We managed to pump some fuel into a good tank,
but then we find another problem.
YEREMY: That's what the fuel tank is doing into the shock absorber when it comes.
So we have to change that too.
And we are now over with one full tank,
a standard tank equipped with a car. Others are empty.
Er...
(SIGHS) Cross fingers, really.
YEREMY: The accident has also been torn tires from the edge,
but luckily we have Iceland but there are other tricks on their sleeves.
They fill tires with lighter fuel and...
Extraordinary success.
Narrator: Ask each expert and they will tell you
The Pacific Ocean is at sea level.
So if you have been told to find your way to the Pacific Ocean,
and you are not near the sea surface, good...
YEREMY: 40 miles to go and we have to go down 2300 feet to sea level.
We have to start decreasing in a minute.
YEREMY: But it's not. The punishing ascent continues.
RICHARD: I can smell... I can smell the boiling machine.
YEREMY: Is the drop on the other end solely,
because we are almost in the Pacific now, and I am 4,000 feet?
YEREMY: Immediately even though we turn off Pan America and head for
through the hill to the finish line.
Where unfortunately there is one more obstacle on the road. The big one.
Wait a minute.
Whoa, wait.
YEREMY: Look at how steep it is.
JAMES: God above.
YEREMY: I can see now why they say four-wheel drive.
Uh, I only have a three-wheel drive.
I only have two.
JAMES: I will say, what if you dig?
YEREMY: If you dig and start rolling,
the possibility of you living is at the bottom of zero.
YEREMY: Because of that we decided to get it some practice on small bumps first.
Are we ready?
- Ready. - RICHARD: (ON RADIO) Yes, yes.
Three, two...
(ON RADIO) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, wait.
Give me strength. Give me strength. What?
Right before we do this, I want to say...
YEREMY: Oh shit! RICHARD: No!
YEREMY: Geez...
RICHARD: My donkey!
The wheels are off! Oh
RICHARD: Donkey is dead. And in some ways, I feel relieved,
because it means I no longer have to bring down the dune
This is totally, really, is really stupid.
I will not do this in the new Range Rover.
James, are you ready?
Yes, we will go for, er, second gear, Jezza?
Second gear, low range and I have my diff key.
(ON RADIO) Have you got your diff key on?
- I don't have a diff key. - RICHARD: (ON RADIO) Good luck, kids.
Three, two, one, start.
YEREMY: God.
I don't know where...
Oh, God, I don't know where the wheels point.
Oh, I don't think so.
YEREMY: This will be sideways!
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
Don't dare to go aside.
JAMES: Soft sand is a nightmare,
and the gradient means that immediately we struggle to keep control.
Get a straight line, You are metal (BLEEP).
Come on, oh, this is very fast now.
A 900 year old Range Rover was completely destroyed.
Ah! Ah!
This is leveling. This is leveling. This is leveling.
Aah, we fell! We're down!
Yes!
YEREMY: Once again we have shown what the car is,
even when it's an old crocodile, is capable.
We both have.
Narrator: To become a Top Gear presenter You must be able to do far more
from driving in a straight line when wearing jeans
and talking nonsense to the camera.
Wow!
This is my city!
Narrator: You must be a craftsman.
That didn't work.
Narrator: An alchemist.
RICHARD: Jeremy, my car caught fire.
YEREMY: Well, pour beer on it. RICHARD: Me. I only have so much.
Narrator: You have to be able to change basic metal into gold.
YEREMY: That's what I'm talking about.
Narrator: A car into a car that is a little lighter.
A motorcycle an electric motorbike vehicle.
The wheels will be there and there.
Narrator: Many sticks into something that might be loose
defined as a bridge.
As long as the person who defines it has never seen a real bridge before.
RICHARD: Oh, no!
(BLEEP)
God!
YEREMY: Stop it, James! Hold it.
Oh, well, this...
JAMES: People go to the sea. Man to the sea.
RICHARD: Ahh.
Hey look! Halong City. There it is.
Narrator: After riding their bicycle long Vietnam,
and only runs the risk of being and physical injuries,
children are happy with work done well.
But they're not finished yet.
- RICHARD: Yes. - We did it!
- JAMES: Fantastic. - I might...
- I don't trust all three motors... Oh. - (CLATTERS)
- Oh dear. - RICHARD: Ah.
- Congratulations. - Congratulations.
- Wounded? - Congratulations. Yes, yes, I am a little.
- Well done, friend. - YEREMY: Good stuff.
That's it. I am a biker.
Oh, I was left on the battlefield,
but I can still drink beer... What?
He said congratulations.
He just... Is... Just open it. It will be, "Good, you have arrived..."
That won't say that.
Then, "You have reached the finish line."
- Do you think he would say that? - Here, it will say "Good..."
- No. - Right, what did he say?
- It says, "You're not done yet." - Oh come on.
- No, that... - Yes it's done.
He said the real finishing point was
at the Hang Bar Bar in Halong Bay.
Because it is only accessible by water,
it might be a good idea to modify your bike to float.
No, but look on the bright side.
- No. - If possible... What?
- No. - No, think about it.
If possible here to get it helmet made overnight,
it must be possible to change your bike
being a jet ski overnight too, it must be.
I'm sure they do it all the time.
- How difficult? - Do not say that!
YEREMY: So it's time to find it a workshop and give a signal to music.
The wheels will be there and there.
(JAMES TURNS THE THEME OF TEAM A-TEAM)
The machine must be another way.
YEREMY: The next morning we stood on the beach and looked out
more than Halong Bay, which is quite simple Vietnam's biggest surprise.
This is a spectacular lime maze,
and hidden there somewhere is our bar.
All we have to do is find it,
and fortunately we only have an machine for work.
James has installed his bicycle to a traditional fishing boat,
use a machine to turn on the propeller.
You have just been fully dismantled
- your motorcycle. - JAMES: Yes.
RICHARD: No more motorcycle, right?
Front wheel, leave. The machine is not where it should live.
JAMES: There are no rules that's what you say
the machine must remain in the same place.
That's...
This is amazing, I know. That's very...
I've gone Minsk principle of simplicity.
I have the steering wheel, the steering wheel, from the bars, the cable.
And then it's just an chain drive down to support and I go.
YEREMY: And that's fair kind of a standard pedal...
Yes, this is just an pedal with a few extra buoys on it.
YEREMY: I'm even smarter, turning my Vespa
being a Mississippi-style paddle steamer.
YEREMY: No... It turns out, my simple plan is very difficult Because the Vespa weighs 940,000 tons.
So I need four foamy canoes.
YEREMY: The main problem is it with cracked ribs
I can't operate the initial kick.
Can you turn on my machine for me, Because I'm right...
None of my legs work?
When you get hurt I will reduce the price.
900,000 dong.
YEREMY: It's time to go.
YEREMY: This works! I have a driving force.
RICHARD: Hey hey!
YEREMY: But then, in the tradition of true Top Gear amphibians,
it's all wrong for James.
First he hit me.
YEREMY: Go away.
JAMES: I tried.
YEREMY: Why did you do this to me? That's how it is, you crazy idiot.
YEREMY: Then he hit the net.
JAMES: Oh, damn it!
YEREMY: And then, when Hammond and I left...
RICHARD: Yes, after you succeed it's like water skiing. (WHOOPS)
YEREMY: He sank.
JAMES: No, no! Cock!
Why do that?
YEREMY: Because the ship was pulled back to the beach,
Richard and I thought about going back to help.
But we don't do it.
RICHARD: I didn't expect like this. This is amazing.
YEREMY: James, meanwhile, on the beach,
in what can only be explained as the plane crashed.
Scene from Lost.
Now, what I did was what I found. Hammond pit watching from the workshop there. I have hired these local people
to use the best traditional Vietnamese ship building knot technology
to put everything together, that gives me more buoyancy,
stop stern falling into the water, stops filling.
Phut phut phut Honda left, I left.
But I have much to do.
YEREMY: Get out at bay there is a problem too.
My Vespa has stopped and I need Hammond's feet
to kick back to life.
RICHARD: Oh...
YEREMY: Argh! I will get my wasp. You...
RICHARD: Ah ah ah!
RICHARD: (BLEEP) That's really ridiculous.
YEREMY: Now all we have to do is go back to yours.
RICHARD: Oh! Hell Arrest!
YEREMY: We went well so far. RICHARD: Yes, that went very well.
JAMES: Only half an hour later, the repaired boat was ready,
so I go chasing the others, and bars that are hard to understand.
JAMES: Come on.
YEREMY: There are 1,969 islands here.
- Bar Hang? - RICHARD: Hello, Bar Hang?
Bar Hang?
YEREMY: I think he thinks we're idiots.
JAMES: Come on! Yes. Where do they go?
RICHARD: We are desperate. And already even forced to search the cave.
RICHARD: You know when Attenborough explores the world and goes
to extraordinary natural sites like this?
YEREMY: Yes. RICHARD: He usually doesn't go up
on homemade amphibious scooters.
- YEREMY: No - In a two-step smoke cloud.
YEREMY: No, and that's where he was wrong.
RICHARD: (SINGING) ├ó┬Ö┬¬ Not a big motorcycle
├ó┬Ö┬¬ Only small motorbikes are fun
├ó┬Ö┬¬ This is more fun than a barrel of monkeys That's what we will buy ├ó┬Ö┬¬
YEREMY: Okay, if you just set to your favorite British car event,
what happened was Richard and I pushed into the cave,
look for bars that aren't here, and we don't have reverse gears.
YEREMY: It can still be worse.
JAMES: Lord, it went very well, my traditional Vietnamese fishing knots I have detached and for centuries I fiberglass outrigger has been washed away.
YEREMY: This will work.
RICHARD: After turning 1000 points, Jeremy and I came out of the cave.
RICHARD: I'm not worried, I'm not afraid.
RICHARD: And only with a few hours the rest of the day,
we really can't afford it there is a problem again.
Ahh!
Water has entered the electricity system
and 60,000 volts flowing everything made of metal,
including the skeleton on the boat, frame on the bicycle.
JEREMY: Our ski bikes are on a bad road.
JAMES: Come on!
YEREMY: But then.
YEREMY: Life! There is life! This is a bar.
This is an umbrella, this is a bar. Yes!
Small spots there are Hammond, I'm sure of that. Hammond!
It is there.
RICHARD: Unfortunately, not much I can do with this information.
(BLEEP).
Because my steering wheel is broken.
All I can do is go round and round.
Beautiful.
RICHARD: And it seems like that the non-biker will get there first.
YEREMY: Come on!
Yes!
And that's how we do it.
YEREMY: The question now is that we will all succeed
before the eight day deadline ends at sunset.
RICHARD: (BLEEP)
JAMES: What? I can't do anything because I haven't turned it upside down.
YEREMY: Finally, bad luck brought Hammond close to the pontoon,
where I am sad too busy to help him more.
RICHARD: Just a little rope there, look, the black rope is quite long.
JEREMY: Swim. RICHARD: No.
JAMES: Come on. Come on. Another leg.
YEREMY: Put it back in it.
RICHARD: With swans lining up, I gave the blast machine.
RICHARD: Ha ha ha.
YEREMY: Damn it. RICHARD: Ah ha.
Yes! Ha ha ha.
YEREMY: Use anything except and wind currents,
Minsk fool Richard Hammond seems to have succeeded.
YEREMY: Drink beer.
YEREMY: Now there are two of us to enjoy this amazing location.
I just found out about this place.
The people who live here were born here, they live here, they are fishing here
and they die here.
- What, they never go to dry land? - They never go to dry land.
- They spend their entire lives floating. - YEREMY: Just floating.
YEREMY: Floating has become a problem for our colleagues,
who just lost his second pontoon.
(JEREMY LAUGHING)
It's falling apart.
JAMES: Oh, come on!
(LAUGHING)
JAMES: Shut up.
(LAUGHING)
Yes, we left Saigon...
(IMITATES MAY) "Well, one thing I can really guarantee it " That my bike will work. "
RICHARD: (LAUGHING) It's enough a trip, that's the way it ends. YEREMY : It is a journey.
- RICHARD: Already, right? - And there is James who ends it.
RICHARD: Finish it. I do not believe that.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
RICHARD: This is the worst arrival in a place anyone has ever made, James.
Narrator: Pop quiz, hot shot. You are in a sports car,
bought for 3,500 pounds.
You need to sneak in Syria, which is very big,
without being seen. What are you doing? What are you doing?
You need a plan.
Why don't we avoid the road, Because if we do that we avoid cities.
- RICHARD: How do we do it? - Cross the desert.
RICHARD: Desert? YEREMY: Yes.
Are you proposing we sneak through Syria?
Sneak up. If we find a garage, workshop,
modify the car to slip into the desert.
That sounds great... I like the sound of the plan.
- JAMES: I will try it. - I think it's fantastic.
YEREMY: So we found several workshops and gave a signal to music.
(MUSIC ROCK PLAYING)
YEREMY: No, no, no!
Yes yes Oh
YEREMY: Dead!
RICHARD: The goal is through the desert
We try to remain invisible and not visible.
Now, what I have here is a Bedouin tent.
A small number of cars have to get out of the tent
because I need to look out and be honest,
I have to be able to open the bonnet at some point maybe,
so I've disguised it by putting glue on it
and cover it with sand from the very desert
to what I tried to disguise it.
Whoever looks, it's just a Bedouin tent.
What I'm doing here is making a car with lots of colors. I am Joseph.
I now know that in the Bible he was kicked in half by his brothers and then thrown into the well, but he did it ended in the West End as Jason Donovan.
Mechanically, what have I done to cross this vast desert,
installed axis of evil.
This is now six times the Mazda MX5.
Some other small features You might have seen,
the Hubble pipe is attached to the bracket that hangs from the bullet hole.
That's kind of brilliant. Have a spoiler on the back too
to add traction.
There is no sand in this world Stop this. Oh no.
JAMES: I have taken my inspiration from the African Corps,
tools, sand duct and what you have,
and Luftwaffe, for desert paint schemes.
Maybe it seems a little irrelevant, I know, but it's actually very biblical
because of this, this is world light,
or it will be dark. And those Jerry cans,
they have sufficient provisions for 40 days and nights in the desert.
(IN GERMAN ACCESS) Forward, schnell!
YEREMY: We feel confident when we push deeper
being 200,000 square miles is completely absent and non-existent.
All three have been done quite well, You will admit it.
Yes, yes.
- I mean... - We're wise people.
RICHARD: We.
JAMES: As soon as everything starts it becomes complicated for Hilda Ogden.
This is quite bumpy. Very bumpy.
Enough, very bad basically. A little bad desert... Oh, no!
Oh no! Disaster has befallen my wheel.
Don't need it. I will only appear here.
Anyway, I still have one left.
Oh dear, it's not good as I expected.
There. Continue to find this in the desert.
I just don't know where they came from.
Have you decided on the extension wheelarches look better in the car?
- They can be removed. - JAMES: Yes, I can see.
JAMES: Even though he is incompetent, Hilda insists on leading from the front.
Follow me gentlemen, I've found a way.
JAMES: Oh, happy.
You must be kidding.
YEREMY: No one will find us here. Follow me.
Don't follow me.
RICHARD: Oh, God.
Backup.
RICHARD: Oh, I've turned it upside down... Ah.
Clarkson, you just damaged my tent.
This doesn't work as I expected.
YEREMY: To make amends, I offer to cook lunch at my spoiler.
The heat of the Syrian desert sun cooking throughout the day,
so now we take... Will you like this... You look like...
- Do you want fried egg sandwiches? - JAMES: Yes.
If you can make me who will...
YEREMY: Are we ready?
JAMES: Do you remember them saying, Will there be another Keith Floyd?
Narrator: If you want to lose weight,
there are currently so many different choices.
You have your Atkins diet, 5: 2 diet,
Your 7: 0 diet, is much more fun for that one.
What is that?
Narrator: And then, you have your Botswana pan salt diet.
Looks like the sea.
Stretching before you the Makgadikgadi.
This is the biggest salt plain In the world.
They are almost lifeless and as wide as Portugal.
No car has ever crossed it.
If you run out of water, you will die.
If your car is damaged and you cannot be saved, you will die.
If you run out of food, you will die.
This is like driving on the cr├â┬¿me br├â┬╗l├â┬⌐e.
There is a closed ancient liquid thin layer of salty crust.
If you have thin tires you will break through the crust stuck and you will die.
So it is recommended that we install fat tires and remove as much weight as possible
before leaving.
Now, how difficult is that?
Don't say that
YEREMY: In the camp, heavy shedding begins.
YEREMY: Ready.
That didn't work.
Very grateful.
Wow... Feel how hard this chair is.
YEREMY: That's right.
(STRAINING)
(KNOW) Ahh
Fuel filler, I will need it. Maybe.
I don't want to take hubcaps really because they protect the hub.
- Can I show something? - What?
Hammond walks around his car muttering about how he needs everything.
I know exactly what he is doing.
He forms an emotional bond, isn't he?
That would be like telling him, can you cut a little from your wife. (LAUGHING)
RICHARD: The next morning, on the edge of the salt pan,
we think we will be attacked from Bond criminals,
but it turns out that way Botswana vice president.
RICHARD: That is a cool arrival (BLEEP). YEREMY: Yeah right.
This is better than the official Rover 75 and some police on motorbikes.
RICHARD: He was amazed to hear what was being planned.
I just got to know someone crossing in a car.
You will... This will be... This should be the first time I think.
- YEREMY: That's it. - Oh really?
RICHARD: Yes, that... VP: Oh really?
- YEREMY: Yes. Right opposite them. - This is definitely interesting.
RICHARD: You smile. You just stopped.
RICHARD: Supported by vice president optimism, we left.
Nothing really prepares you for this size.
JAMES: I think, by the way, is more frightening than the pole.
This is really... You can see curvature of the earth.
RICHARD: Like we did, Little Opel goes well.
Oliver just jumped, boooo. This car was born to do this.
YEREMY: Sad, even though the weight dropped,
Lancia I didn't do it well.
Judging from the way the tires were kind of digging while I was driving together,
I think a little more must come out.
However, as you see tire flow,
I do better than Merc.
I saw the wheel behind James and he dug far away.
YEREMY: I tried to help him.
(THUDS)
That's very helpful.
- Well there's always Beetle, James. - Waiting for you.
RICHARD: What will you do? It sinks.
YEREMY: James, obviously we're done... How far is that, one mile?
RICHARD: If that.
YEREMY: Lancia I waded again.
RICHARD: Just an encouragement. No, it's an accident.
JAMES: Something's up.
JEREMY: Unfortunately, because it's automatic, it's no use.
So we asked Richard to try. But he doesn't want to hurt Oliver.
RICHARD: Ahh!
(JEREMY LAUGHING)
Ahh!
YEREMY: This is hopeless. So we have to tie the camera crew.
CREW: Three, two, one. Far away!
YEREMY: Because the liquid is very bad,
we have to be more drastic with shedding weight.
We work hard for hours.
Ta-da! Oh, my God.
YEREMY: Yes, we both did it. And finally, we are ready.
Now it's light. Lancia Beta Coupe Super Leggera.
Not a modification. Ha ha ha.
JAMES: This is amazing.
- Why don't all cars have doors? - (JAMES LAUGHS)
YEREMY: When I'm in power I will make a rule,
Because this is better.
YEREMY: However, Makgadikgadi is won't let us be so light,
and soon even our super lightweight car started fighting again.
JAMES: Come on, just, oh... Oh, yeah.
No, this isn't good.
JAMES: Oh no.
RICHARD: Only Opel is left trouble free, which is bad news for me.
RICHARD: Ahh!
- YEREMY: Yes. Come on, man. - (RICHARD GROANS)
I will go forward, Hammond, then we will do it again, wait.
How far is that?
JAMES: I think five or six yards away and we might be bobby.
RICHARD: Oh, this is terrible.
RICHARD: Continue, continue, continue. Continue. Yes, yes!
JAMES: No
YEREMY: James, don't go there, You will be trapped.
That's near.
YEREMY: Come on.
JAMES: Permission to say chicken.
Can we have everyone, we will encourage it.
RICHARD: We need 100 men or more. JAMES: No.
JAMES: This is hopeless.
RICHARD: Ahh!
(RINTIHAN)
Surrey people, you need a four-wheel drive for this bit.
YEREMY: The stick is very sticky It really gets stuck
Lancia's rear wheels.
RICHARD: I can't describe... I mean, You... You just think it's mud.
Do you know what that is? Fish. This is only rotten, prehistoric fish.
SECOND: One, two, three.
JEREMY: Luckily the land finally hardened and we made good progress.
But suddenly the horizon is no longer flat.
Now it's interesting, because we now come what looks like an island. And I think so.
This is the lake so they will become islands.
Amazing, truly extraordinary.
RICHARD: Where are we?
YEREMY: This is called Kubu Island.
We're around a third of the way.
And you have been trapped about a thousand times.
YEREMY: That's arrogant.
Baobab Tree. Always want to see one of them.
YEREMY: Hammond, look at this. RICHARD: Whoa!
This is just the most astonishing place I have ever visited.
RICHARD: Sort of like you there.
YEREMY: At sunset we head to the campsite.
The second day on the salt pan, and we were told today
our problem is not mud, but dust.
That means James and I have to rethink our clothing solution.
YEREMY: I have worked with my kikoi with liner bin, V-neck.
The last time I used one of them I went to see Clash.
YEREMY: Frankly I think it's all a little bit more.
I mean, how bad is this dust?
YEREMY: Oh, my eyes.
JAMES: Crikey, I can't even see Jezza.
YEREMY: Oh no, no, no, no.
RICHARD: Meanwhile, in my unmodified Kadett.
I will adjust a little of a quarter of my light, only... Only one inch, that's better.
(COUGH)
RICHARD: I can feel hatred now. Very nice.
JAMES: Oh, I lost my risk. (COUGH)
Hello?
YEREMY: James and I succeeded through dust
with our lives very short.
(COUGH)
YEREMY: I have consumption and tuberculosis.
I have every disease in the 1920s.
YEREMY: And then Lord Smug realized.
I have to close this at one point, I'm just... About that,
and then draw the air out and you get fresh air. Very nice.
You know what it's like when someone hit you really hard
- in the middle of his face? - I really.
YEREMY: Then the surface gets worse.
YEREMY: Ahh.
YEREMY: Looks like we're going down through seven circles of hell.
YEREMY: Oh, no.
YEREMY: I assume that salt will kill
Lancia is famous for its rustiness.
But that's what happened harshly. Even though is now tidying up again,
Beta is in a bad way.
JEREMY: (ON RADIO) I've left.
- Are you hanging around? - YEREMY: I have no strength, no drive.
RICHARD: Do you remember what the man Jeremy said?
Break down and you will, what is that? Have fun? Not dead.
YEREMY: Yes, it's loose. It's hot.
(FAILED STARTER) This is the good job they serve This machine is more than 20 degrees
because that means more is inaccessible than that
if not... Oh, my God, look at this.
For God's sake.
I have to say, that's good, it's peace, you know, don't have him around.
(FAILED STARTER) YEREMY: I checked the alternator, spark plug,
lead HT and close distributor.
Paired with a solenoid starter and there was an error with everyone from them. But that still doesn't happen.
I'm not sure what I like most here. Certain death or Beetle.
(FAILED STARTER) Ah, come on!
Oh, for God's sake.
I honestly believe it has it.
JAMES: Is my car in crabs?
No, it tracks true partners. He worried about tracking and seeing it.
RICHARD: We know that Jeremy will finally catch us.
But what will he drive?
I can see something in the mirror.
- Please let it be a Beetle. - I hope it's a Beetle.
RICHARD: Please, let it be a Beetle.
JAMES: Please let it be a Beetle.
YEREMY: I'm back!
Ah, Jeremy, good work, I'm dis... Sorry, happy.
RICHARD: You are not in the Beetle!
YEREMY: Not a beetle. Lancia Beta Coupe is fully functional.
RICHARD: I only want the Beetle to pounce on you
when you get lost behind. I'm broken heart.
- Can we squeeze it, James? - Not!
(JEREMY LAUGHING)
RICHARD: With our convoy back to the strength we press,
separate from Jeremy being Bill Oddie occasionally.
JEREMY: This is where flamingos breed, out here.
RICHARD: So that's breeding right? JAMES: These are fossils.
YEREMY: That's not a fossil. Only died about two years ago.
JAMES: I am talking about you.
RICHARD: This is an ex-flamingo...
Hey don't see, look.
RICHARD: What now? YEREMY: I know what created this.
RICHARD: Ostrich. YEREMY: Yes! The legs are a few miles apart.
RICHARD: That's exactly how it works.
YEREMY: You know David Attenborough will, uh, retire?
JAMES: Can I say? YEREMY: What?
You look like a gay cowboy and you look like a gay terrorist.
YEREMY: No, you look like a terrorist with a broken windshield eraser
and your face is ridiculous.
YEREMY: Then Hammond started choosing my car.
Why don't you turn it off?
This collects electricity.
So if you turn it off the battery will not start again.
- I... - Turn it off and start later.
- Yes, continue. - Turn it off and start.
- Let's have beautiful silence.
- OK, are you ready? - JAMES: Yes.
- Are you ready? - RICHARD: Yes.
Seeing.
(FAILED STARTER) (RICHARD LAUGHING)
Why did you turn it off, idiot?
- You are stupid. - YEREMY: Because he said it would...
RICHARD: Good luck mate. Someone will give you an initial leap.
JEREMY: This will be far... Don't go.
RICHARD: Goodbye.
JAMES: Strange, Clarkson Lancia left again.
And then we found some big birds.
JEREMY: Wow!
JAMES: And then we saw even more wildlife.
There is a cow.
Two cows, three cows.
Yes! We made it!
YEREMY: We have crossed Makgadikgadi.
Trees. Life.
RICHARD: Mate, have you ever thought you would do that?
I'm really proud of that. I.
Really, I... I'm surprised that this... It's not a car anymore,
whatever it is, has done it, with its low-profile tire
and the low suspension is damaged.
I am really happy because I think Makgadikgadi is
one of the most unpleasant places I have ever been.
That's just a big bowl of dust. Hello friend.
YEREMY: Twanky Widow might be happy to see the back of the salt pan,
but even so, they gave us a surprising farewell gift.
JAMES: Oh, that's amazing.
RICHARD: Is that the month? YEREMY: Sky. Yes, it's the Moon.
Because of the dust from the pan you get...
RICHARD: A Moonrise. JAMES: In orange.
RICHARD: I got goose bumps.
JAMES: I know Philip Larkin's poem about months. Do you want to hear it?
RICHARD: No.
Narrator: And then, there is the biggest building there.
Don't modify a car, or even a bicycle.
But building a bridge on the River Kwai.
What turned out to be was very big.
And it's actually not the River Kwai.
YEREMY: This is much broader than I thought it would happen.
JAMES: I think it will be one of them the little comedy trenches.
YEREMY: Yes.
RICHARD: Yes, I... It's 100 times wider.
YEREMY: We will need a bridge of 60 meters.
So, James went to make a plan and Hammond and I decided to measure the depth of water.
Well, when I say Hammond and I...
RICHARD: I am approaching a deeper depth.
Approaching the plumb perim... Ah ha.
Oh, oh The air is very cold. I hate my job.
Forgive me, on the Bridge over the River Kwai...
RICHARD: I hate you.
... does Alec Guinness leave, "Oh, it's so cold."
I'm sure he did it in reality. Oh I'm sure he did it in reality.
JEREMY: Unfortunately, at this point,
my colleague was taken away by the current.
JEREMY: Swim, friend
RICHARD: Me.
YEREMY: You are the weakest swimmer In the world.
YEREMY: And because he provided there was no useful feedback,
I went to check James's plan.
This is what I think.
Banks go down on each side, of course.
We built the approach area with this stone basket.
We made several vertical stacks of bamboo like this,
I called them for a long time. They only put bamboo together.
This will go this way.
Two tracks for wheels, that's all you need, the rest is not material
and then the structure is super small, something like this,
all add strength. You know that kind of thing.
So it looks a bit like the movie.
Basically we have to start with and some wire
to make a box to enter. Then I can make...
Where will we get stones from?
Now that's your job, because you have tipper lorry.
JAMES: I started making wire baskets.
Freed up space in the bay of Jeremy's cargo.
YEREMY: May, you idiot!
JAMES: And when Hammond finally came back, I sent them both
to the nearest mine to get a stone.
RICHARD: Put it in front. Eh, this one.
Yes, just stick it in front. Let's have this one here.
- Jeremy, will you do something? - What can I do?
Loading trucks. You have to direct them where he put
YEREMY: He loaded them.
RICHARD: With the truck loaded, Jeremy finally got off his back and immediately start shouting at me.
YEREMY: Hammond, you idiot!
What?
You have put around 400 tons of rock and it has jammed.
I wake you up to say whether you will help with loading.
Your words are, "There is nothing to do, is there a man who does it."
That's the real problem You should have woken up.
How do I know what your burden is? I do not know.
YEREMY: The only solution is to tip some stones out.
Oh, no, no, no!
Geez, that's an extraordinary accident. Because look.
Oh, my goodness, no.
- Your windshield really comes out. - This is a disaster (BLEEP) now.
The wind will be fun.
YEREMY: Predictably, when we returned, James was filled with sympathy.
(JAMES LAUGHING)
- Are you the butt head? - But look.
(JAMES LAUGHING)
YEREMY: Richard and James started loading their bas by hand.
RICHARD: Oh, that's a big stone.
YEREMY: But I am allergic to manual labor, so I use horsepower instead.
RICHARD: What are you doing?
Well, there's no way we can to build this bridge by ourselves,
let's make sense.
Actually, he is right, Hammond. You and I will not be able to
to build this bridge itself.
RICHARD: I know, that's the way it is.
Hello. The clerk will not function.
Alec Guinness makes it very clear Bridge on the River Kwai, in the film.
That is the whole premise of the story, is that the officer will not function.
- Who said... - You are an officer.
- Of course I am an officer. - Who said you were an officer?
me! I am an Alec Guinness figure here. It is clear.
Because you have a stick.
- Come on, friends. - The stick may disappear immediately.
RICHARD: By helping local teams,
James and I started to make good progress.
However, when we work hard,
Self-appointed officers seem to prepare children's tea parties.
What are you doing now?
Now, that is the trick I learned actually from England
when they were in Burma in the 19th century.
They will hire some local youth,
cover him with jam, he will follow them all day
and he will attract insects. They call him a boy.
- This is my jam bear. - It seems unfair.
Oh, that's right. Because in the end on the day he must keep the traffic jam.
YEREMY: What I will tell you, I will sleep tonight.
Right. I am tired.
JAMES: The next morning, dawn light reveals
how little we achieved.
So before the morning mist is clean, everyone works hard.
Well, when I say everything...
(MOBILE RINGING AND VIBRATING)
Morning, May.
JAMES: Good morning.
Are you really going to do any work today?
I have explained this to you until I am blue on my face.
The clerk will not function.
YEREMY: Guys.
Maybe.
Can you hear anything?
YEREMY: I need dirt!
Guys, I already have a thought. It turns out the officer will work.
YEREMY: After they released me...
YEREMY: Right, work.
JAMES: Stay available.
YEREMY: I immediately decided what we needed more machines that save labor.
So, I rented a digger for Hammond
and I go for something that will embarrass May.
YEREMY: I'm afraid James really wasted his time
bring the crane here.
JAMES: Clarkson!
YEREMY: Oh no!
(FUCKING INDISTINCTLY)
(BLEEP)
RICHARD: What is that?
- It fell, James. - JAMES: Do you see where there is...
RICHARD: What have you done? JAMES: Wait a minute.
- What? - Do you see where it ends? from the jib you landed?
I just walked back to see where the stack was.
If I'm still standing there it will take my head, you're crazy.
- Almost killed me. - It fell!
What do you mean it fell? I...
They don't fall, tow trucks, on the highway.
RICHARD: It's finished, isn't it?
What do you mean it doesn't fall?
You dropped it.
YEREMY: Your crane is too small, so I have a bigger one
to reach further to the river.
- Right, my stump is too small. - YEREMY: Yes.
It can be sentenced to death, right?
YEREMY: After James calmed down a little, we decided to solve the problem
using combined power Digger Richard and van A May.
In three, two, one, lift.
Hammond.
Oh Yes.
YEREMY: But with a stronger cable we immediately got my stork in the right way.
Amazing, and back to work.
I only use this as a big hammer, so... (GRANT)
This is all just this delicacy.
JAMES: Oi!
Jeremy: That little insect that he was dragged here
just blocking our way.
Oh, that's great, Hammond.
Wait a minute.
YEREMY: That's the ticket.
Hammond!
Come on, James, come out you come.
RICHARD: Sharp objects.
RICHARD: Even though we now work as a team,
and the bridge starts to take shape,
we are still far behind James's schedule.
This side, the blue peg, represents how far we should be now.
The red stake shows how far we actually have.
Obviously, er, not far enough.
It's worse than I thought.
RICHARD: So the three of us worked until night.
YEREMY: What has been all this time?
RICHARD: It's been a long time. JAMES: It's long.
So that's to go to Hammond.
YEREMY: Whoa, stop there. JAMES: A little further.
YEREMY: No, I understand. JAMES: Sure?
YEREMY: Yes.
RICHARD: But even so we went to bed tired,
sleep for Jeremy and I can't.
(TOLD)
JAMES: Clarkson!
Funny.
You are a funny guy.
RICHARD: We're even funnier bring it back.
No, I think it's red. What is red?
- YEREMY: I don't know. - Er, right, so hold on,
I have one with a circle. This one looks like an onion.
- Is... Is this? - That's... The bottom is spinning.
Jesus, there's no basis...
RICHARD: There's a little wave now.
JAMES: Oh ahh, ahh, ahh.
(JEREMY AND RICHARD LAUGHING)
RICHARD: James, you have fallen your tent.
Oh, you fell into the water!
(LAUGHING)
- RICHARD: He fell down. - Please!
- That's an alarm clock, right? - YEREMY: Oh sorry, James.
The... The bottom of this river is made of turds.
YEREMY: I know.
Yes, yes, try not to drink more than a pint.
JAMES: When I get carried away by currents, I notice that the end of the bridge is now beyond the reach of our crane.
So, when I return, we build a homemade stack driver
installed on a homemade barge, and keep going.
RICHARD: Oh no.
(BLEEP)
RICHARD: Oh, my God.
YEREMY: Stop, stop, James, hold on to it.
JAMES: I can't stop it.
YEREMY: Come on, understand. JAMES: Get it.
YEREMY: Can't reach! JAMES: Whoa.
RICHARD: Tie. YEREMY: Save that. Save that.
RICHARD: Watch out. YEREMY: I understand, I understand.
Oh, wait a minute. Oh no, no!
No! No, there's a little... I'm drowning in (BLEEP)!
RICHARD: Oh no!
JAMES: Hammond. Man to the sea.
YEREMY: Yes like this JAMES: Humans go to the sea.
RICHARD: I... Aah!
YEREMY: How are we going to...
JAMES: There is no hope. RICHARD: This is worse.
YEREMY: We have to do it leave the bridge.
JAMES: I am not, I will return to (BLEEP)
(BLEEP)
YEREMY: Once we returned to land we gathered for an emergency meeting.
I think it's one of them that gives way.
- JAMES: Mmm, piling up. - But why is that?
Flow.
Does it help focus our minds more on the problem? if we have a Hong Thong photo.
- Yes. - YEREMY: Or you can have a Red Cock.
- I want Hong Thong. - Do you have a white spirit?
YEREMY: Yes, I have.
YEREMY: Because I don't understand.
RICHARD: If one of the docks is wrong it will work.
If we use... I've...
What if we use more than that whatever you call them, those bags...
(COUGH)
It doesn't help him cough.
What if we use more from the stone bag
to protect the bamboo pillar from the current.
JAMES: The white spirit, by the way, is actually a white spirit.
YEREMY: What are you joking about... RICHARD: To clean the brush.
YEREMY: We continue to build, and when long and hot days pass,
the bridge is getting closer to the opposite bank.
RICHARD: Here it is.
RICHARD: Oh, he passed the road. Can you...
YEREMY: Who here likes ice-cold beer?
RICHARD: Oh, yes, please.
YEREMY: But when we graduated the two-point two,
I was forced to call another emergency meeting.
RICHARD: What's wrong?
Well you know we thought we were building a bridge
- on the River Kwai, your highness. - We.
No. Name of the river...
The Kok?
Top Gear is building a bridge over the Kok River.
This is really impressive.
That, you will not order the wrong movie from the internet website.
You will be very careful if you.
How about the BBC Presentation, You know, women at the beginning
from each program, "Tonight Jeremy, James, and Richard
" built a bridge over Sungai Kok. "
We did not move it.
YEREMY: At this point, we are already at site for what looks like immortality,
and we are desperate to go home, so we work all the time.
JAMES: understand?
YEREMY: Yes it's hard...
JAMES: Yes, that a little more dense, that one.
RICHARD: I hate bamboo, I really hate bamboo.
YEREMY: Enter this before we forget.
You know, you know, after that goes through Burma I was left with a large amount of respect
for long-distance truck drivers
but here, now, I respect for prisoners of war more.
JAMES: Oh yes. RICHARD: Yes.
I mean, let's be honest, okay?
- We eat here at night. - Yes
- RICHARD: Yes. - And we haven't experienced dysentery
- and we don't have cholera. - RICHARD: No.
And we are not beaten every day.
No no. I mean it's hard, hard work, hot...
But there's nothing...
- Do you know the metal box? - Yes
There is a man named Captain Drower who broke the camp commander's desk and sentenced to life in prison and they buried him
in one of the metal boxes with a metal roof exposed to the sun.
And he was there for 76 days.
God.
He has a broken arm when they enter it and when they take it out,
mice have eaten most of their legs.
That's just beggar's belief.
YEREMY: When the sun rises on the 15th day,
after the most difficult job we've ever done,
The bridge is finished.
In three, two, one, I declare the bridge open.
- RICHARD: What a moment. - And James, you have to cross first.
Why did I cross first?
Because I just said, "James, you have to cross first."
- He did it, he said that. I heard that. - I did it, right?
- You did it, you said that. - Certainly. Yes.
Right. Lucky elephant, lucky owl, Buddha. Let's begin.
Nora is bleeding! I'm on the bridge above the Kok River.
This is really the most tense thing I've ever done.
James, you are very cruel... Did he realize how...
RICHARD: He has long ended to the right.
Position, keep calm, stay calm.
And... Oh, my God, it's spraying.
Oh
Oh, the one who ripped it apart.
I am more than halfway.
(BLEEP)
All I have to do is get down here.
I just came down here and I will do it.
Please.
I passed the Kok River on our own bridge!
Yee-haw.
Come on!
RICHARD: Can you go next?
- Yes. I will go next. - Is it true?
Yes, because your truck is much heavier than my truck and will weaken it.
I don't think about that.
I have a policy here. Speed and strength, because in my mind,
speed makes you lighter.
Can't see the bridge now.
We start. Changing teeth, first tooth changes
on the bridge over Sungai Kok and I've screwed it up.
He is too close to the middle.
Oh, splinter sounds.
And I weakened it for Hammond.
Yes, come on, sports truck.
Yes! A powerful sports truck has damaged the door,
but it's on the opposite side and it's bouncing to celebrate that moment.
Yes!
RICHARD: Now it's the turn from the toughest truck of the lot.
Oh, my God.
This is the bridge that we built.
I mean clearly I want it to fall into Kok.
- Yes. - But if he does it we can't go home.
The challenge is to say the three trucks, is not that right?
I know.
Now this truck should weigh 7.5 tons.
But I don't know if it goes inside consider all the extra bits above.
God! Oh oh!
Ohh Oh, I can hear it broken. I can feel it moving.
Oh, no, what happened? Oh no! Oh no! What have I done?
Oh, he will knock this end too.
JAMES:... also, oh, God.
RICHARD: It's losing structure!
Oh! It broke!
Oh dear!
RICHARD: Don't rush to finally, Rich, just enter yourself...
Oh! Drag it. Oh!
Just tiptoe, just... Just stepping lightly.
Just tiptoe your way. There he is. There he is.
Think light thoughts.
YEREMY: No, through here.
JAMES: This method is a little, in this way a little. This method is a little.
YEREMY: This way. In this way, you will fall into...
JAMES: You will fall.
YEREMY: God!
- Yes! - JAMES: Yow!
- (WHOOPING) - YEREMY: Yes, Hammond!
JAMES: Oh, Richard Hammond. YEREMY: I have never felt happy
to see you live before, but now.
- RICHARD: Oh. - JAMES: You are so close to going...
RICHARD: We succeeded. We did it. JAMES: That's a little.
RICHARD: Ow. JAMES: Oh sorry.
YEREMY: Mate.
Do you know how close you fell to the middle in the end?
- Half tires. - Half the tires on the edge.
- The fact is... - The three of us have done it.
With our truck passing the river, here we are.
1,200 miles. Building a bridge, pushes the three lorries above it.
It works.
Different from the original movie Bridge on the River Kwai,
there are no bombs.
- No. - Not.
- No. - But there is an end.
Thank you very much for watching.
- Thank you for watching. - Whoa, what's a trip.
RICHARD: That's our best adventure.
JAMES: God you are close.
Narrator: Well, that's him for this program.
I hope you enjoy this international festival
stupidity, shouting and falling.
Until next time, goodbye