♪ PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER, COVER YOUR EYES ♪
♪ GET READY FOR A BIG SURPRISE ♪
♪ SPIRITS IN A BOTTLE, GHOSTS IN THE MACHINE ♪
♪ WALKIN' ON WATER, FLOATIN' ON A DREAM ♪
♪ WHO'S FOOLIN' WHO? WHO CAN YOU BELIEVE? ♪
♪ DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA LOSE IT? ♪
♪ ARE YOU SURE WHAT YOU'VE JUST SEEN? ♪
♪ SOMETHIN' UNDERGROUND
♪ DID YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? ♪
♪ WHAT'S COOKIN' IN YOUR HEAD? ♪
♪ ARE YOU SHAKIN' IN YOUR BED? ♪
♪ WHEN YOU DON'T WANNA DO WHAT YOU THINK YOU GONNA DO ♪
♪ AND YOU CAN'T FIND A PROP OR A COP ♪
♪ AND YOU GOT 2 FRIENDS WHO WILL BE HANGIN' TILL THE END ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU KNOW YOU'RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT STOP ♪
♪ IF YOU SEE 'EM COMIN', BETTER START RUNNIN' ♪
♪ WITH THE SCREAM TEAM
♪ BETTER START RUNNIN'
♪ WANT TO TREAT OR TRICK IT? ♪
♪ YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA KICK IT ♪
♪ WITH THE SCREAM TEAM
Ghost: NO LUCK. HE'S NOT UPSTAIRS.
DID YOU CHECK THE BASEMENT?
Second ghost, loudly: HE'S ONLY BEEN--
SHH!
[SOFTLY] HE'S ONLY BEEN DEAD FOR 6 HOURS.
HE COULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN TOO FAR.
CHECK THE LIVING ROOM AGAIN. I'LL TRY THE ATTIC.
SOMEBODY'S COMING. WE'VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.
Woman: HE'S RIGHT DOWN THERE.
I JUST CAME BY TO HELP HIM CARVE SOME PUMPKINS FOR HALLOWEEN...
WHEN I FOUND HIM.
TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!
RELAX, GRAMPS. THAT WAS OUR BEST ONE YET.
WELL, WELL, NOBODY'S LOOKING TO BUY A PUMPKIN SMASHER.
IT'S A PUMPKIN CARVER THEY WANT.
IT'LL REVOLUTIONIZE HALLOWEEN.
HOW ABOUT INVENTING A RUBBER MASK
THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOUR FACE SWEAT?
NOW, THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
THIS TIME, IT'S GONNA WORK.
HISTORY IS ABOUT TO BE MADE.
CLAIRE, ARE YOU GETTING THIS?
UH-HUH, BUT HURRY UP. MY ARM IS GETTING TIRED.
ALL RIGHT, IAN, LET HER GO.
IT'S WORKING. IT REALLY WORKS. WAY TO GO, GRAMPS.
Grandpa: STEP ONE COMPLETE!
STEP...2!
DISEMBOWELMENT!
MAYBE WE SHOULD WORK ON THE NAMES OF YOUR STEPS.
NOW LET HER DOWN, NOW.
THAT'S IT!
WAY DOWN!
LOWER!
THERE YOU GO. THAT'S IT.
NOW, EASY DOES IT.
Claire: AAH!
Grandpa: TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!
WHOA! WHOA! TURN IT OFF!
TURN IT--
HA HA HA!
YEAH, VERY FUNNY.
Grandpa: HA HA HA!
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD CALL STEP 3?
HA HA HA HA HA HA.
Ian: LET'S CALL IT CLAIRE GETS A PUMPKIN HAT.
Grandpa: HA HA! GOOD IDEA! GET ANOTHER PUMPKIN!
HA HA HA HA!
GUYS, MAYBE THIS ISN'T THE MOST APPROPRIATE TIME
TO BE WATCHING THIS.
WHAT'S THE POINT OF A MEMORIAL
IF YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER?
GO AND MAKE SOME MEANINGLESS SMALL TALK
WITH YOUR GRANDFATHER'S FRIENDS.
PLEASE.
NICE TO SEE YOU LAUGHING, DAD.
DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.
[SOBBING]
OH, SUCH A BRAVE LITTLE GIRL.
YOU'RE HOLDING UP SO WELL.
I'M A TROOPER.
I SWEAR, SOMEBODY DIES AND SUDDENLY
THE WHOLE WORLD IS INVADING YOUR PERSONAL SPACE.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
OH, YOU MUST BE FRANK'S GRANDSON.
LET ME GIVE YOU A HUG.
[SOBBING]
[THUMP]
CAN I HELP YOU?
NO, NO, I WAS JUST, UM...
FRANK HAD SOME BOOKS.
CLAIRE, RIGHT?
I'M WARNER MacDONALD.
YOUR GRANDFATHER AND I WERE GREAT FRIENDS.
HMM. HE NEVER MENTIONED YOU.
YEAH, WELL, YOU WERE USUALLY ONLY IN OUR LITTLE HAMLET
FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS DURING THE SUMMER,
BUT SINCE YOU'RE GONNA BE AROUND
A LITTLE LONGER THIS TIME,
YOU HAVE TO COME TO OUR BIG HALLOWEEN FESTIVAL THIS WEEKEND.
I'M NOT REALLY IN A FESTIVAL KIND OF MOOD.
YEAH. WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN, UM--
EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
RICHARD.
IT'S WONDERFUL TO HAVE YOU BACK HERE, RICHARD.
WELL, NOT WONDERFUL UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES.
WELL, I BETTER BE GOING.
EXCUSE ME.
WHAT KIND OF FREAK BRINGS A FLYER TO A FUNERAL?
THAT'S OLD WARNER FOR YOU.
HE AND YOUR GRANDFATHER HAVE HATED EACH OTHER SINCE GRADE SCHOOL.
SOMETHING ABOUT A VICIOUS GAME OF RED ROVER, RED ROVER.
Man: SAY HI TO YOUR FAMILY FOR ME.
Dad: I WILL, YOU TOO, ALL RIGHT?
DRIVE SAFE.
Woman: RICHARD, SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR FATHER.
WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS NOW?
Richard: ...YOU CAN'T BEAT IT.
I'M PUTTING A "FOR SALE" SIGN UP
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
SEE, I HAVE TO BE BACK AT THE HOSPITAL IN A WEEK, 2 TOPS.
IT'S NOT THE HOUSE ITSELF THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
IT'S ALL THE JUNK THAT'S INSIDE IT.
THE BASEMENT ALONE WOULD FILL UP HALF A DOZEN DUMPSTERS.
[TOY WHIRS]
[CHIMES]
Voice: IAN...
HELLO?
IAN...
IAN?
WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER? I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU.
YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU SURE?
I'M SURE.
'CAUSE IF YOU'RE NOT, I MEAN...
I UNDERSTAND.
I KNOW THAT YOU AND GRANDPA WERE PRETTY CLOSE, SO...
CAN YOU BELIEVE ALL THE JUNK HE'S GOT DOWN HERE?
IT'S NOT JUNK.
WHAT IS HALF OF THIS STUFF?
HE CAME UP WITH MORE RIDICULOUS GADGETS AND GIZMOS.
IT'S NOT JUNK!
GRANDPA MADE ALL THIS STUFF!
THIS IS HIS PUMPKIN CARVER.
IT'S GONNA REVOLUTIONIZE HALLOWEEN!
AND THIS IS A PORTABLE TURBO-VAC.
WE MADE IT 2 SUMMERS AGO!
AND THIS...
WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS, BUT IT'S GRANDPA'S
AND YOU CAN'T JUST THROW IT ALL INTO A DUMPSTER!
I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU!
KEEPING ALL THIS STUFF ISN'T GONNA BRING HIM BACK, IAN.
I HOPE YOU REALIZE HOW LUCKY YOU ARE.
I WOULD HAVE GIVEN ANYTHING
TO HANG OUT WITH HIM DOWN HERE WHEN I WAS A KID.
SO WHY DIDN'T YOU?
I DON'T KNOW, REALLY.
HE WAS BUSY, AND...
I WAS IN THE WAY.
A LONG TIME AGO. IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW.
COME ON.
I LEFT YOUR SISTER IN CHARGE OF DINNER.
CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED.
WELL, THAT CERTAINLY WAS DISGUSTING.
I'D HAVE ORDERED PIZZA, BUT THEY DON'T DELIVER AFTER 7:00.
WELCOME TO SMALL TOWN LIVING.
DAD, I FOUND SOME MORE NEWSPAPER.
THAT'S THE FLYER THAT WEIRD GUY
WHO WAS GOING THROUGH GRANDPA'S BOOKS GAVE ME.
OH, HEY. I FORGOT ABOUT THIS.
THE HALLOWEEN FESTIVAL.
IF WE'RE STILL IN TOWN, YOU TWO SHOULD GO.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A LOT OF FUN.
GRANDPA SAID IT'S TOTALLY CHEESEBALL.
OH, HE WOULD.
IT'S WARNER'S BABY.
PEOPLE COME ALL THE WAY FROM BOSTON FOR IT.
GRANDPA USED TO TALK ABOUT THIS ZACHARIAH GUY
LIKE HE WAS SOME KIND OF INVENTOR...
BUT HE LOOKS PRETTY CREEPED OUT TO ME.
HE SHOULD.
HE'S SOMETHING OF A LOCAL LEGEND.
OUR RESIDENT SPOOK.
HE REALLY EXISTED?
THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY.
HE LIVED WITH HIS YOUNG BRIDE ON COAL HILL
JUST SOUTH OF TOWN ALMOST 200 YEARS AGO.
WHAT DID HE DO TO GET SO FAMOUS?
HE BURNED THINGS DOWN.
SUPPOSEDLY, ZACHARIAH LOVED ONLY ONE THING MORE THAN HIS WIFE...
AND THAT WAS FIRE.
THEY SAY...
YOU COULD SEE IT IN HIS EYES.
ZACHARIAH, PLEASE COME INSIDE.
YOU'LL CATCH COLD.
Richard: FIRES BROKE OUT CONSTANTLY IN THE HILLS AROUND HIS HOME.
THE TOWN DID EVERYTHING THEY COULD TO TRY AND STOP HIM,
BUT IT WAS HIS WIFE WHO FINALLY SAID SHE'D HAD ENOUGH
AND TRIED TO LEAVE HIM.
Claire: TRIED? WHAT DID HE DO?
Richard: HE SET THEIR CABIN ON FIRE WITH HER STILL IN IT.
HE KILLED HER?
AFRAID SO...
BUT IN A FITTING END...
THEY FOUND HIM GUILTY OF MURDER
AND SENTENCED HIM TO BE BURNED AT THE STAKE IN THE TOWN SQUARE.
THE FIRES DIDN'T END WITH ZACHARIAH.
THAT NIGHT, THE COURTHOUSE BURNED TO THE GROUND.
FIRE!
Richard: THEY SAY THAT HE STILL ROAMS THE HILLS
SEEKING HIS REVENGE.
AAH!
COOL.
SO YOU'RE SAYING THIS TOWN IS HAUNTED?
NO. HE'S SAYING IT'S FULL OF BUMPKINS.
DAD!
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
[SCARY VOICE] YOU CAN SEE IT IN HIS EYES.
DAD.
YOU OK SLEEPING IN GRANDPA'S ROOM?
YEAH. IT'S TOTALLY COOL.
I'M NOT CREEPED OUT OR ANYTHING,
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.
GOOD.
HE DIDN'T DIE IN HERE, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT, IAN.
Ian: GOOD NIGHT, DAD.
[OWL HOOTS]
[CLATTER]
[MOANING]
WHO SAID THAT?! WHO'S THERE?!
[MOANING CONTINUES]
I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!
DAD!
THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY ROOM!
IT'S CLANGING AND MOANING-- THE BED'S SHAKING!
THE BED WAS SHAKING. THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY ROOM! COME ON!
CALM DOWN. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
I'M SURE IT WAS JUST...
GET OUT FROM UNDER THERE THIS INSTANT.
CLAIRE!
♪ I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU ♪
I SWEAR, YOU ARE SO GONNA PAY!
[GIGGLES]
GOOD NIGHT.
DON'T LET THE GHOULIE-GHOULIES BITE.
GOOD NIGHT, CLAIRE.
YOU OK?
I'M FINE.
JUST MAKE SURE CLAIRE'S IN HER ROOM.
GOOD NIGHT.
[RINGING]
VERY FUNNY, CLAIRE, HA HA.
KNOCK IT OFF!
IAN.
Ian: AAH!
WAIT!
NOW WHAT'S GOING ON?
IAN?
Ian: AND THEN IT SAID MY NAME
AND BEGAN DOING THIS WEIRD MORPHING THING,
AND I TRIPPED OR SOMETHING
AND WHEN I GOT BACK UP, IT WAS GONE.
THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR TELLING YOU KIDS GHOST STORIES.
I WASN'T HAVING A NIGHTMARE.
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE BOOKS FALLING?
GRAVITY?
MAYBE IT'S SOME SORT OF SIGN FROM THE BEYOND.
MAYBE I'M SUPPOSED TO READ THEM.
THEN THE BEYOND DOESN'T KNOW YOU VERY WELL.
"PROPERTY OF THE STEEPLE FALLS PUBLIC LIBRARY."
HE WAS DEFINITELY TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING.
Claire: HE?
GRANDPA. IT HAD TO BE GRANDPA'S GHOST.
I MEAN, WHO ELSE COULD IT BE?
OH, GREAT. IT WASN'T ENOUGH
THAT HE WAS GIVING ME GRIEF WHILE HE WAS ALIVE.
IAN, YOU GOTTA PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER AND GO TO BED.
DO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER?
GOOD. I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
I GOT YOU SO GOOD. YOU WERE SO SCARED.
YOU WERE, LIKE, "DAD, OH!"
[GASPS]
[SIGHS]
SOMEONE HAS TO REMIND DAD
ABOUT THE CHILD LABOR LAWS IN THIS STATE.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS, LET'S TAKE A BREAK.
COME ON INTO TOWN WITH ME.
MUST HAVE HEARD FROM YOUR LAWYER.
OH, CLAIRE, WHY DON'T YOU RUN UP TO GRANDPA'S ROOM, GRAB THOSE BOOKS.
I WANT TO MAKE SURE WE RETURN THEM.
CLAIRE, NO!
WE CAN'T RETURN THOSE BOOKS.
I HAVEN'T EVEN LOOKED AT THEM.
THEY'RE LIBRARY BOOKS. WE CAN'T KEEP THEM.
BUT GRANDPA WAS USING THEM TO SEND ME A MESSAGE.
OH, SERIOUSLY,
THE ONLY MESSAGE HE WAS SENDING YOU
WAS SHUT UP AND QUIT ACTING LIKE SUCH AN...
IDIOT.
WHAT IS THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
[CAR HORN HONKS]
HERE, HOLD ON TO THESE, CLAIRE. YOU TAKE THE BOOKS.
YOU TAKE 'EM. I'M NOT TAKING THEM.
YES, YOU ARE.
SHUT UP.
Ghost: IAN...
IAN...
BENT THE RULES A LITTLE,
LETTING YOUR GRANDPA CHECK THESE OUT,
BUT THEN AGAIN, HE COULD BE VERY PERSUASIVE.
LOOKS LIKE OLD ZACHARIAH AND THE FESTIVAL
ARE FINALLY PUTTING THIS TOWN ON THE MAP.
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, WE'LL BE GIVING SALEM
AND THEIR WITCH TRIALS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY.
HA HA HA HA, AND STEEPLE FALLS
HAS MORE UNSOLVED FIRES PER CAPITA THAN ANY OTHER TOWN IN THE STATE.
STEEPLE FALLS: IS IT HOT IN HERE OR IS IT JUST US?
I'M NOT KIDDING. IT'S ON THE T-SHIRT.
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE OLD MACHINE PARTS IN THE DISPLAY CASE?
OH, THAT'S JUST SOME DOODADS THAT WARNER DUG UP AROUND THE CABIN.
WE JUST WANTED SOMETHING TO FILL UP THE CASE.
ZACHARIAH'S CABIN? IT STILL EXISTS?
OH, HEAVEN'S NO,
BUT WARNER OWNS THE LAND AND HE SAYS
THAT HE IS GONNA BUILD A REPLICA FOR THE TOURISTS.
THERE IS EVEN TALK ABOUT PUTTING IN A THEME PARK.
[DOG BARKS]
[HONK HONK]
HEY, POPS!
SLOW DOWN!
[WOOF]
MAN, THESE PEOPLE
SURE LOVE THEIR WHACKED-OUT FIRESTARTERS.
MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE WATER.
WHAT?
DON'T WANDER OFF. I'M ONLY GONNA BE A MINUTE.
WHERE DOES HE THINK WE'RE WANDERING OFF TO?
YOU CAN SEE THE WHOLE PLACE FROM HERE.
LOOK, THEY STILL HAVEN'T RENTED OUT GRANDPA'S STORE.
I LOVED THAT PLACE.
I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY HE HAD TO CLOSE IT.
YES, YOU DO, AND QUIT TALKING ABOUT IT.
YOU KNOW IT UPSETS DAD.
WHAT DOESN'T?
[HONK HONK HONK]
HEY, KIDS. BEAUTIFUL DAY.
HOPE YOU'RE MAKING THE BEST OF IT.
YEAH. WELL, ONCE WE'RE DONE HERE, WE'RE GONNA GO BACK
AND PACK UP OUR DEAD GRANDFATHER'S BELONGINGS.
IT'S GOOD TO BE PRODUCTIVE.
NOW SPEAKING OF YOUR GRANDFATHER, THERE WERE SOME BOOKS.
LIBRARY BOOKS?
UH, YEAH, RIGHT. SO YOU FOUND 'EM?
[HONK HONK]
[TIRES SCREECH]
[CRASH]
WHA--
WHAT HAS HE DONE?
I TOLD YOU TO LET ME DRIVE THE TRACTOR.
HEY, POPS, UH...
CLEAN IT UP.
WHAT DID YOU DO?
Warren: HEY, KIDS...
I DIDN'T CATCH WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THE BOOKS.
HI, WARREN.
LOOKS LIKE YOUR FESTIVAL'S REALLY TAKING OFF.
AH, AIN'T IT, THOUGH?
AND YOUR DAD ALWAYS SAID IT WASN'T GONNA AMOUNT TO ANYTHING.
IT WAS A REAL LOSS TO THIS TOWN
WHEN FRANK DECIDED TO CLOSE DOWN THE STORE.
SHAME HE COULDN'T FIND ANYONE TO TAKE IT OVER.
YEAH. YEAH, IT'S A SHAME.
AND ME, I'M LUCKY.
MY BOYS COULDN'T WAIT TO GET INTO THE BUSINESS.
THIS TOWN MEANS THE WORLD TO THEM.
WELL, WHEN IT'S ALL YOU KNOW...
SEE YOU SATURDAY.
NICE TALKING TO YOU, WARNER.
CLAIRE?
I'M GOING NOW.
JUST RUNNING INTO TOWN TO SEE GRANDPA'S LAWYER.
HEY, MY OLD WOOD SHOP PROJECT.
SIXTH GRADE.
IT WAS DAD'S CHRISTMAS PRESENT THAT YEAR.
AND GRANDPA KEPT IT.
MUST HAVE MEANT A LOT TO HIM.
I DOUBT IT.
HE SAID I DIDN'T SAND IT PROPERLY.
DAD, ARE YOU OK?
WHAT? YEAH, FINE.
MAKE SURE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER GET SOME HOMEWORK DONE.
I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO GET BEHIND.
[CLATTERING]
IAN, I'M TAKING OFF NOW, SO...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
YES, I DO.
WHAT IS ALL THIS?
UH, IT'S STUFF TO CATCH A GHOST.
I SHOULD ALWAYS GO WITH MY GUT.
[COYOTE BARKS]
[BEEPING]
SHH!
[SIGHS]
[WIND HOWLS]
OH, WHOA...
GOT YOU!
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? LET ME OUT OF HERE.
WHO ARE YOU, ANYWAY?
CLAIRE!
DO YOU MIND? SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO--
LOOK!
AAH!
WHAT IS IT?!
IT'S A GHOST!
IAN, IT IS NOT A GHOST.
[TAP TAP TAP]
CAN YOU JUST UNSCREW THE LID?
IF IT'S NOT A GHOST, THEN WHAT IS IT?
I DON'T KNOW,
BUT THERE HAS TO BE SOME KIND OF A LOGICAL EXPLANATION.
IT IS NOT A GHOST.
Ghost: IT'S DARK IN HERE. I HATE THE DARK!
DOES IT HAVE TO HIT YOU IN THE FACE, LITERALLY?
IT'S A GHOST AND I'M KEEPING IT.
IAN, FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GH--
[FOOTSTEPS]
[GASPS]
I DO HATE TO BE THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS,
BUT AS WE SAY IN THE GHOST BUSINESS, BOO!
AAH!
MUST SHE KEEP DOING THAT?
STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
DON'T TAKE ANOTHER...
WHATEVER-IT-IS YOU-DO CLOSER.
THIS IS THE COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD!
THIS IS NOT THE COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD.
THIS IS THE ANTITHESIS OF COOL.
NOW, NOBODY WILL GET HURT AS LONG AS YOU DO EXACTLY AS I SAY.
GIVE ME THE JAR.
NO WAY!
IAN, JUST GIVE HIM THE JAR.
First ghost: GIVE HIM THE JAR, MAN.
IAN, GIVE HIM THE JAR!
Ian: NO!
FINE. I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO RESORT TO THIS, BUT...
AAH!
THAT WAS SO NOT WHAT I NEEDED RIGHT NOW.
THAT WAS AMAZING.
CAN YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE?
NO.
GOOD.
UH-OH.
OH. NICE CHATTING TO YOU, BUT...
GOTTA FLY.
COME ON!
Ian: THERE IT IS!
COME ON!
HURRY UP! WE'RE LOSING HIM!
SORRY. I JUST KEEP THINKING WE SHOULD BE RUNNING
IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.
COME ON! COULD YOU POSSIBLY MOVE ANY SLOWER?!
YES.
COME ON!
WHERE IS IT? IT'S GONE!
IAN!
OH, MAN!
IT COULD BE ANYWHERE!
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE LOST IT!
I THINK IT WENT THAT WAY.
ARE YOU SURE? HOW DO YOU KNOW?
THAT'S HOW.
I'M GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS.
PERSISTENT LITTLE BEGGERS.
[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]
Ghost: NAME AND MANNER OF DEATH?
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. LET ME GUESS.
Second ghost: WATCH YOUR STEP. RIGHT THIS WAY.
HEY, THERE, STRETCH, RIGHT THIS WAY.
A-L ON YOUR LEFT, M-Z ON YOUR RIGHT.
HI, THERE. YES, WELCOME, YES. KEEP MOVING.
OH, AND WE'RE WALKING, WE'RE WALKING AWAY FROM THE LIGHT THIS TIME.
Third ghost: THANK YOU FOR DYING. WATCH YOUR STEP.
THANK YOU FOR DYING AND PLEASE COME AGAIN-- KIDDING! HA HA HA!
A LITTLE AFTERLIFE HUMOR.
IT'S NOT REALLY FUNNY.
OK, DEAD PEOPLE, COME ON, KEEP IT MOVING, LOOK ALIVE!
MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT.
THERE YOU GO. GET IN LINE.
THAT'S RIGHT, GET BACK IN LINE, COWBOY.
THANK YOU, SIR.
HI, WELCOME, THAT'S IT.
OK, DOT, DOWN THE STEPS. A-L ON YOUR LEFT, M-Z ON YOUR RIGHT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. VERY NICE. WONDERFUL.
AND WE'RE WALKING, AND WE'RE WALKING,
AND WE'RE SMILING 'CAUSE WE'RE DEAD, NOT DEPRESSED. THAT'S RIGHT.
NAME.
LINDSEY, PHIL.
LET ME CHECK THAT OUT.
HERE YOU ARE.
THOUGHT WE MADE A MISTAKE THERE FOR A MINUTE.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE AMOUNT OF PAPERWORK
[BEE BUZZES]
I'VE GOTTA FILL OUT WHEN THAT HAPPENS.
DON'T WORRY, SIR, JUST A LITTLE BIT OF PROCESSING.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR DYING.
PLEASE, COME AGAIN. KIDDING!
JUST A LITTLE BIT OF AFTERLIFE HUMOR.
IT'S REALLY NOT FUNNY. THANK YOU FOR DYING.
I'M SORRY, NO CELL PHONES ALLOWED IN THE HEREAFTER.
MAKES THE CHERUBIM CRAZY.
DON'T EVEN ASK ME ABOUT THE SERAPHIM.
WHOO-WHOO! CAREFUL.
OK, BYE-BYE. WATCH YOUR STEP THERE.
YOUR TURN. THERE YOU GO.
THERE YOU GO. WHERE ARE THE SHEEP?
DID SOMEBODY GET THE SHEEP?
HELLO? IS ANYBODY THERE?
IT'S GONE. WE LOST IT.
CAN WE PLEASE JUST GO BACK
AND PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED?
IT'S GOT TO BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
I SWEAR, IF I END UP ON THE COVER
OF THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS,
YOU ARE SO DEAD.
WELCOME. PLEASE GET IN--
MARIAH, WE'VE GOT PROB--
[COUGHS]
WHERE IN THE WORLD HAVE YOU BEEN?
LOOK, WE ARE SWAMPED.
WHY EVERYONE HAS TO DIE ON A THURSDAY IS BEYOND ME.
WE'VE GOT PROBLEMS.
PROBLEMS?
AS IN PLURAL?
WHERE IS THE SOUL YOU WERE SENT OUT TO RETRIEVE?
THAT'S ONE.
AND WHERE IS JUMPER?
THAT'S ANOTHER ONE.
WELL, HOW MANY MORE ARE THERE?
ONE.
Ian: HELLO?
MAYBE 2.
THE LIVING?
YOU LET THE LIVING FOLLOW YOU HERE?
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
I'M SURE IF WE KEEP QUIET,
THEY'LL BE GONE IN A COUPLE OF MINUTES.
FOUND 'EM!
AAH!
SHE DOES THAT.
AAH!
ARE ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE DEAD?!
THEY'RE DEAD, AREN'T THEY?
THEY'RE ALIVE, AREN'T THEY?
THEY'RE ALIVE! OK, DO SOMETHING! GET THEM OUT OF HERE!
RELAX, I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
YOU ARE ONLY DREAMING.
THIS IS JUST A DREAM.
I TRIED.
I AM SO WRITING YOU UP.
LOOK, WE DON'T KNOW WHO OR...
WHAT YOU THINGS ARE,
BUT WE GOT YOUR LITTLE FRIEND HERE...
Ghost: HEY, BOSS.
BUT WE'D BE WILLING TO TRADE HIM FOR SOME ANSWERS.
OR THE NEAREST EXIT.
OK, LOOK, KIDS, DON'T MESS WITH ME.
I AM IN NO MOOD TODAY.
OW!
HEY, BOSS.
[GRUNTING]
OPEN IT.
THANK YOU.
[SPUTTERING]
OOH. AAH.
THAT FEELS MUCH BETTER.
WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
WAS I BOTHERING YOU?
AND HELLO, HOW ABOUT SOME AIR HOLES?
SOME PARTNER YOU TURNED OUT TO BE.
WUGGEDY-WUGGEDY-WOO.
THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO?
YOU'RE WELCOME.
OH, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THANKING YOU NOW.
I GOT 2 LITTLE KIDS HERE, AND YOU CAN'T EVEN--
GENTLEMEN, UM, PLEASE,
I THINK WE HAVE A COUPLE MORE PRESSING PROBLEMS HERE.
SO WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS PLACE?
OH, NO, NO. LISTEN, IT'S--FORGET IT.
IT'S MUCH TOO COMPLICATED TO EXPLAIN.
SOME SORT OF AFTERLIFE WAY STATION?
OK, MAYBE NOT SO COMPLICATED.
OH! HELLO.
[GIGGLES]
THANK YOU FOR DYING.
THIS IS THE NORTH AMERICAN
ZONE 6 SOUL RETRIEVAL CENTER,
AND I AM JUMPER.
AAH! AAH! AAH!
GET THE PICTURE.
AND THIS IS MY SO-CALLED PARTNER COFFIN ED.
DELIGHTED.
AND WE ARE THE SOUL PATROL.
DON'T TOUCH ME.
HEH. I'M IAN CARLYLE,
AND OVER THERE IS MY SISTER CLAIRE.
PUT IT RIGHT THERE, BUDDY.
HA HA!
HA! I LOVE THAT ONE!
Woman: THANK YOU FOR DYING.
THERE YOU GO.
DON'T BE FRIGHTENED.
WHAT IS THIS?
HEY. HEY. NO. NO, NO, NO.
STEP AWAY. AWAY FROM THE PORTAL.
THANK YOU.
YOU'LL HAVE YOUR OPPORTUNITY SOON ENOUGH.
NOT NOW.
I'M GOING TO DIE?
OH, HELLO.
NEWS FLASH: EVERYBODY DIES.
TALK ABOUT YOUR JOB SECURITY.
Claire: SO WHAT'S ON THE OTHER SIDE?
WELL, WE'RE REALLY NOT ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT IT.
IT'S A BIG SECRET. BIG SECRET. SHH.
SHE'S NEVER EVEN BEEN.
NONE OF US MADE IT OUT OF THE WAITING ROOM
BEFORE THEY BOUNCED US INTO THESE LOUSY JOBS.
YES, AND I WILL BE STUCK HERE
UNTIL YOU-KNOW-WHAT FREEZES OVER
IF ANYONE FINDS OUT ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU, OK?
NO, NO.
WOW. ALL THESE PEOPLE DIED?
WAIT TILL THE HOCKEY SEASON STARTS.
NO, NO, NO. DO NOT TOUCH THAT.
DON'T TOUCH THAT. THAT'S PRIVATE.
HEY, CLAIRE, LOOK!
HERE'S GRANDPA'S NAME.
IT'S NOT CHECKED OFF.
I KNEW IT.
THAT WAS GRANDPA I SAW LAST NIGHT!
WHY DIDN'T HE CROSS OVER?
OTHER THAN THE FACT IT LOOKS KIND OF CREEPY.
WHO KNOWS?
THE DEAD ARE VERY UNPREDICTABLE.
COULD BE UNREQUITED LOVE, REVENGE,
POOR SENSE OF DIRECTION.
DON'T YOU TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHY THEY STAYED BEHIND?
THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO DIE IN MY DISTRICT
IS SUPPOSED TO MATCH THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE
WHO CROSS OVER.
THE WHY IS NOT MY CONCERN.
HOW ABOUT WE MAKE YOU A DEAL?
NO. THE DEAD DON'T MAKE DEALS.
YOU HELP OUR GRANDFATHER TO CROSS OVER
AND WE PROMISE NEVER TO TELL A SOUL ABOUT WHAT WE SAW.
DEAL.
BUT FIRST,
YOU HAVE TO LET MY GRANDFATHER FULFILL
WHATEVER IT IS HE'S TRYING TO DO.
[SIGHS] OK, BUT HE HAS TO BE HERE BY TOMORROW NIGHT.
I CAN ONLY CLAIM AN ACCOUNTING ERROR FOR SO LONG.
DON'T WORRY.
ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW MARIAH,
SHE'S EVEN WORSE.
UH, NO CELL PHONES, LOVE.
Ian: STILL DON'T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS, HUH?
[BRANCH SNAPS BACK]
MISSED, BUT I'LL TAKE THAT
AS A "I'M SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A STUCK-UP, CLOSED-MINDED"--
OW! AAH.
WHAT DO YOU THINK GRANDPA WANTS TO TELL US?
MAYBE HE BURIED A FORTUNE IN GOLD UNDER THE HOUSE.
HOW HARD DID I HIT YOU WITH THAT BRANCH?
IT WOULD JUST BE SO COOL TO SEE HIM AGAIN,
TO, YOU KNOW, TO GET TO SAY GOOD-BYE
AND ALL THAT STUFF.
I'M CAUGHT. GIVE ME A HAND.
UH-OH.
I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN IN TOWN FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT--
DAD, WHAT'S WRONG?
CLAIRE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER?
IAN, I WAS SO WORRIED.
I GOT HOME, AND YOU WEREN'T HERE.
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT?
YEAH, I'M GOOD.
YEAH. FINE, RIGHT?
YES.
SO WHERE WERE YOU?
Claire: DAD, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
THE MOST INCREDIBLE--
WE WERE FROG HUNTING.
FROG HUNTING?
UM, Y-YEAH.
GRANDPA ALWAYS TAKES US FROG HUNTING.
UM, SO I WANTED TO GO,
AND, UH, CLAIRE SAID NO BECAUSE SHE'S AFRAID OF FROGS.
I'M NOT AFRAID OF FROGS.
AND I WENT ANYWAY.
UM, AND THEN I GOT LOST,
AND CLAIRE CAME TO FIND ME,
BUT THEN WE BOTH GOT LOST,
AND NOW WE'RE NOT LOST ANYMORE,
WHICH IS GOOD, BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN FOUND.
BUT I GOT TO TELL YOU, BOY, AM I EXHAUSTED.
SORRY YOU WERE SO WORRIED.
NEXT TIME, WE'LL, UH,
WE'LL LEAVE A TRAIL OF BREADCRUMBS OR SOMETHING.
NICE TO MEET YOU GUYS. NIGHT.
THEIR GRANDFATHER JUST DIED.
I THINK THEY'RE STILL A LITTLE FREAKED OUT ABOUT IT.
[SPUTTERING] COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO.
WOW. YOU TWO HAVE REALLY MADE A LOT OF PROGRESS.
DEFINITELY ON THE ROAD TO REDEMPTION.
NOTHING LIKE THOSE ENERGIZING PANGS OF GUILT TO SPUR US ON.
I KNEW I BROUGHT YOU UP RIGHT.
LISTEN, I'M GONNA TAKE A RUN INTO TOWN.
EITHER ONE OF YOU WANT TO COME ALONG?
UH, NO, I'M FINE.
YEAH. ME, TOO.
FINE. SUIT YOURSELVES.
Ian: COME ON. WE HAVEN'T GOT MUCH TIME.
HEY.
LISTEN, GUYS,
I--I KNOW WE HAVEN'T REALLY TALKED ABOUT,
WELL, EVERYTHING,
BUT I JUST WANTED TO, UH...
YOU'RE OK, RIGHT?
YEAH. WE'RE FINE, DAD.
OK. GOOD.
ARE YOU SURE?
YES.
WE'RE FINE. REALLY.
GREAT.
WHAT'S THAT FOR?
IN CASE HE DOESN'T WANT TO COME ALONG PEACEFULLY.
YOU KNOW HOW STUBBORN HE CAN BE.
AND WHAT'S ALL THAT?
HAPPY MEMORIES.
I THOUGHT THAT MIGHT HELP ATTRACT HIM.
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
I'VE NEVER BEEN GHOST HUNTING BEFORE.
AND NEITHER HAVE I, BUT IT CAN'T BE THAT HARD.
I MEAN, WE KNOW HE'S IN THE HOUSE,
AND I'M PRETTY SURE HE WANTS TO TALK TO US.
HEY, GRANDPA, ARE YOU IN HERE SOMEWHERE?
OOH. OOH.
I'M TRYING TO CONTACT THE SPIRIT OF FRANK CARLYLE.
COME IN, FRANK CARLYLE.
OH, FOR THE LOVE OF-- [WHISTLES]
HEY, GRAMPS, IT'S IAN AND CLAIRE,
AND WE HAVE TO TALK TO YOU NOW.
PLEASE?
GRANDPA?
IS IT REALLY YOU?
GIVE HIM A MINUTE TO PULL HIMSELF TOGETHER.
IT'S HIM!
HI, GRANDPA. HOW'S IT GOING?
HI, GRANDPA.
IT'S ME, CLAIRE,
YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER.
HE'S NOT BLIND. HE'S DEAD.
I KNOW.
GRANDPA, I'M NOT SURE IF YOU KNOW THIS,
BUT IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU CROSS OVER,
MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
DEATH.
JUST TELL US WHAT YOU WANT, GRANDPA.
WE CAN HELP YOU.
WHAT IS IT? WHAT'S WRONG?
IAN, CLAIRE.
LET GO OF MY GRANDFATHER!
[MOTOR TURNS OFF]
[WHISPERING] Something to remember me by.
WATCH OUT!
IAN, THE EXTINGUISHER! HURRY!
BUT HE'S GETTING AWAY!
[BELL RINGING]
HE'S GONE!
WHAT'S GOING ON? WHY IS THE ALARM GOING OFF?
DAD, HI. THAT WAS QUICK.
IAN, YOU SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE?
WHY DO YOU THINK I DID IT?
HE DIDN'T. WE DIDN'T DO THIS.
SERIOUSLY.
YEAH. IF ANYTHING,
WE SHOULD BE GETTING SOME KIND OF A MEDAL RIGHT NOW.
IF WE TOLD YOU WHAT REALLY HAPPENED,
YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE US,
SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO TRUST US ON THIS ONE.
I MEAN, NO HARM DONE, RIGHT?
NO HARM DONE?
I'M GONE 10 MINUTES,
AND YOU ALMOST BURN THE HOUSE DOWN?
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU TWO?!
ARE YOU ACTING OUT?
DO YOU BLAME ME FOR ALL THIS?
ARE YOU MAD AT ME?
ARE YOU TRYING TO GET BACK AT ME OR SOMETHING?
SERIOUSLY, DAD, THIS REALLY ISN'T ABOUT YOU,
SO DON'T TAKE IT SO PERSONALLY.
WHAT?!
GO! GET OUT.
I CAN'T TALK TO BOTH OF YOU RIGHT NOW. GO.
I THOUGHT THAT DAD SAID THAT ZACHARIAH KULL WAS JUST A LEGEND.
APPARENTLY, HE'S NOT THE AUTHORITY ON GHOSTS WE THOUGHT HE WAS.
HEY, THOSE VEINS ON HIS FOREHEAD WERE PRETTY WILD.
HA HA. YEAH, I REALLY THOUGHT
THEY WERE GONNA BURST THIS TIME.
JUST ONE OF THESE DAYS,
I'D LIKE TO SEE SOMEONE COME THROUGH HERE
WHO ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE THEIR PICTURE.
Ian: HEY, GHOSTIES! GHOSTIES!
COME ON, LOOK ALIVE. WE'VE GOT BIG PROBLEMS.
Mariah: PROBLEMS? GUESS WHAT.
WE HAVE NO MORE ROOM FOR PROBLEMS.
WE'RE FILLED UP WITH PROBLEMS.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? NOBODY DIED TODAY?
OH, I'D BITE YOUR TONGUE.
IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT MOST GHOSTS PREFER TO TRAVEL AT NIGHT.
THEY'RE GHOSTS.
TELL THAT TO THE FLAMING CREEPY
THAT JUST SIPHONED OFF MY GRANDFATHER.
YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ZACHARIAH KULL, ARE YOU?
UM, WELL, HUGE, SKELETOR-LIKE FACE
WITH A LONG BLACK JACKET.
THAT'S THE CAT. BIG OLD TOP HAT
AND NAILS LOOK LIKE THEY NEED TO BE DONE.
AND, OH, YEAH, HE THROWS FLAME BALLS.
YEAH.
YEP.
WELL, THAT DOES SOUND LIKE OL' ZACHARIAH.
OF COURSE, IT COULD ALSO BE SHEILA, MY SECOND WIFE.
NOW, SHE WAS TERRIFYING.
YOU KNOW, I SO DO NOT NEED THIS RIGHT NOW.
SOMETIMES IT JUST SEEMS LIKE
THE WHOLE AFTERLIFE IS CONSPIRING AGAINST ME.
WHAT'S ZACHARIAH DOING OUT HERE?
I THOUGHT DEAD GUYS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THERE,
EVEN BIG, HUGE SCARY ONES.
ZACH'S AN UNUSUAL CASE.
HE HOLES OUT IN AN OLD MINE
JUST ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF TOWN.
AND THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME OUR PATHS HAVE CROSSED.
ACTUALLY, IT'S QUITE AN INTERESTING STORY.
THIS IS ONE EVIL DUDE!
YOU GUYS AREN'T GETTING THIS, MAN!
HE CAPTURES PEOPLE'S SOUL,
AND THEN HE STEALS THEIR LIFE FORCE.
HE'S THE KIND OF GHOST THAT'S AFTER REVENGE.
GIVES US ALL A BAD NAME.
STEALS THEIR LIFE FORCE?
DOES THAT MEAN GRANDPA CAN'T CROSS OVER?
OK, YOU KNOW WHAT?
NO MORE DRAMA.
EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE.
YOU PEOPLE ARE MAKING A MOUNTAIN
OUT OF A TINY, TINY, TINY LITTLE MOLEHILL.
NOW, WE ARE MONITORING THE SITUATION CLOSELY,
AND WE'LL HAVE THE MATTER RESOLVED IN NO TIME.
EVERYTHING IS FINE, PEOPLE.
LOOK, I'M SMILING.
HE DIED 200 YEARS AGO!
ETERNITY DOES NOT BREED EFFICIENCY.
OK, EVEN WITH THE OCCASIONAL LOSS,
THIS STATION STILL MAINTAINS A DEATH-TO-CROSSOVER RATIO OF...
99.9999999%
IT'S THE SECOND HIGHEST IN THE CONTINENT.
SECOND ONLY TO NEW JERSEY,
AND EVERYONE KNOWS THEY, YOU KNOW, DOCTOR THEIR BOOKS.
SSSST.
YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.
ISN'T IT YOUR JOB TO SAVE HIM?
I JUST DON'T HAVE THE GHOST POWER FOR THIS KIND OF THING.
LOOK AT US. WE'RE SWAMPED.
[WHISPERING] Way to look busy.
THANK YOU. BUSY. LOVELY.
THIS IS OUR GRANDFATHER WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM OUT THERE.
LOOK, LITTLE PERSON,
I KNOW THAT THIS IS DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO ACCEPT, BUT YOUR GRANDFATHER--
THIS IS GETTING EMBARRASSING!
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
WE ARE THE SOUL PATROL.
WE GOT WAY MORE LIFE FORCE THAN A DOZEN STINKY GHOSTS!
THIS IS WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR.
I SAY WE GO KICK SOME SERIOUS GHOST BUTT.
YEAH, EXCEPT FOR YOU DIDN'T SIGN UP.
YOU WERE SENTENCED.
WHAT. EVER.
ARE YOU WITH ME, EDDIE, BUDDY?
ONLY ONE WEEK LEFT ON THE FORCE.
WHY CAN'T I JUST RETIRE IN PEACE?
OH, OK, YOU TALKED ME INTO IT.
THERE'S NOTHING ON TV ANYWAY TONIGHT.
Jumper: YES! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!
YEAH! HOW ABOUT YOU, MARIAH?
OH, GO. FINE. BUT I KNOW NOTHING.
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. I DON'T KNOW YOU.
WHO ARE YOU? GET AWAY.
LET'S GO GET YOUR GRANDPA.
HIGH-FIVE.
Jumper: HA HA! GOT HIM AGAIN!
THE SOUL PATROL IS ON THE ROAD.
OH, YEAH. YOU'RE RUN-D.M.C., NOW, RIGHT?
Coffin Ed: THAT'S RIGHT.
THE SOUL PATROL
IS LOOKING FOR A MOLE. NO.
SO FUNNY. SOUL PATROL IS ON THE ROLL.
THAT'S GREAT.
SOUL PATROL DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THE RULES.
SOUL PATROL IS GOING TO GET ME FIRED.
THE SOUL PA--
Claire: HIS CABIN MUST'VE BEEN UP THERE SOMEWHERE.
Ian: UH, WHOSE CABIN?
ZACHARIAH'S.
THEY SAID IT WAS ON COAL HILL.
Coffin Ed: OH, VERY NICE.
WHAT, ON THE BOTTOM OF SEWAGE LANE?
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND?
Ian: BASEBALL?
WHAT TO WEAR WITH DENIM?
HOW I CAN BE DEAD AND STILL LOOK SO GOOD?
NO, NO, AND, HEH, NO.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY ZACHARIAH'S OUT FOR REVENGE.
HE FLAMBéED HIS WIFE AND BURNED DOWN HALF THE TOWN.
SOUNDS LIKE HE GOT WHAT HE DESERVED.
OH, AN ILLOGICAL CRAZY PERSON.
HOW UNUSUAL.
BEFORE WE GO IN HERE, MAYBE WE SHOULD FIGURE OUT WHAT'S MOTIVATING HIM.
THERE MUST BE A REASON HE DIDN'T CROSS OVER.
YOU'RE JUST SCARED.
DUH.
HE'S HUGE AND SCARY AND THROWS FIRE.
BUT, CLAIRE, WHAT ABOUT GRANDPA
AND ALL THE OTHER DOZENS OF SOULS
HE'S PLUNDERED OVER THE YEARS?
YOU CARE ABOUT HIS MOTIVATION?
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M WITH YOU.
IT'S NOW OR NEVER.
WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?
NEVER.
NOW!
ALL RIGHT. NOW.
ED?
I'M SORRY. WHAT?
OH. UH...
RIGHT.
WE ATTACK AT DAWN.
WE ATTACK NOW, MAN.
RIGHT. WELL, LET'S GET ON WITH IT, THEN.
NEXT STOP, HANDBAGS, SPORTING GOODS, AND UNFETTERED EVIL.
Ian: WHOA. THIS PLACE IS SO COOL!
Claire: YOU REALLY THINK THIS WILL WORK?
Coffin Ed: OH, OF COURSE IT WILL.
IT'S A BRILLIANT PLAN.
WE THREE WILL DISTRACT HIM
WHILE YOUNG IAN HERE
WRESTLES ZACHARIAH TO THE GROUND,
HOLDS HIM DOWN, AND PROCEEDS TO JUST--
THAT IS NOT A PLAN.
NOW, IAN AND CLAIRE SUCK HIM INTO THE GIZMO.
WE MAKE HIM STAY THERE
UNTIL WE GET HIM BACK TO THE PORTAL
AND TOSS HIM THROUGH
AND LET THE PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE
DEAL WITH HIM FROM THERE.
I THINK MINE'S A MUCH BETTER PLAN.
Claire: PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE DOING THAT LANTERN THING.
I'M ALSO AVAILABLE FOR WEDDINGS AND BAR MITZVAHS.
IS THAT HIM?
IF IT'S NOT, THEN WE'RE IN REAL TROUBLE.
[VOICE MOANING]
[WHISPERING] What's he doing?
HE'S POWERING UP.
SHH.
[SOFTER] HE'S POWERING UP.
HE KEEPS THE SOULS THAT HE'S CAPTURED
IN THAT MINE SHAFT BELOW,
THEN HE STEALS THEIR LIFE FORCE.
THIS HAS TO WORK.
OK, ON THE COUNT OF 3, START IT UP.
OK. YOU READY?
1...
2...
3!
[ENGINE STARTS]
AAH!
NO!
AAH!
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
WHAT DID YOU DO?!
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
IT'S NOT MY STUPID INVENTION.
[ENGINE STARTS]
AAH!
Ian: HERE! HOLD THIS!
[ENGINE TURNED OFF]
Ian: WE DID IT!
WE JUST HAVE TO GET THIS THING BACK TO THE PORTAL.
AND RELEASE GRANDPA
AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT'S STILL STUCK DOWN THERE.
IAN, LOOK OUT!
[SCREAMING]
CLAIRE!
OH, NO!
CLAIRE?!
YEAH!
IAN!
HANG ON!
[SCREAMING]
HELP ME!
HELP ME.
Ian: GRAB THE ROPE!
PULL YOURSELF UP!
Spirit: HELP ME!
I CAN'T!
TRY! I'LL HELP YOU!
[CLAIRE SCREAMING]
YOU GO, AND I'LL TRY TO HOLD HIM OFF.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
YOU'RE NO MATCH FOR ZACHARIAH KULL.
OK, THEN. I'LL GO AND YOU GUARD HIM.
GOOD LUCK.
COME ON.
YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!
OH, PLEASE DON'T LET ME STEP ON ONE!
PLEASE DON'T LET ME STEP ON ONE!
CLAIRE!
[GRUNTING]
COME ON! PULL HARDER!
I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN.
[MUTTERS]
COME ON, SUCKER.
[CLAIRE SCREAMS]
HELP ME, CLAIRE.
Ian: COME ON.
YOU ALL RIGHT?
[SCREAMING]
JUMPER!
NO!
ED, I'M SO SORRY.
DON'T WORRY. WE'LL RESCUE HIM.
OH, WE WILL.
I SWEAR ON MY LIFE I'LL RESCUE JUMPER
OR DIE TRYING.
ISN'T THAT KIND OF AN EMPTY PROMISE?
PICKY, PICKY, PICKY.
WELL, I THINK IT'S SAFE TO SAY HE CAME THISAWAY.
BUT HE'S GOT TO COME BACK, RIGHT?
SO MAYBE WE SET A TRAP HERE AND THEN--
NO MORE TRAPS! IT WAS A STUPID IDEA.
WHAT WAS STUPID WAS FALLING INTO THAT PIT.
LOOK, I JUST HAD DEAD PEOPLE
BREATHING ALL OVER ME,
SO DON'T--
AHEM.
NOW, NOBODY PANIC. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO.
BUT WHAT ABOUT US?
WELL, THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOME ADVANTAGE TO BEING DEAD.
ENJOY YOUR STAY IN PRISON.
UM, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'RE GONNA LET US GO
WITH JUST A STERN TALKING TO?
BECAUSE I, FOR ONE,
HAVE TOTALLY LEARNED MY LESSON.
Policeman: DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY SEALED UP THIS MINE
IN THE FIRST PLACE?
NATURAL GAS LEAKS.
NATURAL GAS?
SEEPS UP THROUGH THE GROUND.
YOU'RE LUCKY YOU DIDN'T SUFFOCATE.
AND WE'RE ALL LUCKY THAT LITTLE FIRE YOU STARTED
DIDN'T BLOW UP THE PLACE.
WE DIDN'T START A FIRE.
LET'S GO.
LET'S GO!
OK, THIS TIME, I'M SKIPPING RIGHT OVER
THE "THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE ALIVE" PART OF THE SPEECH
AND GOING DIRECTLY TO "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?"
WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.
TRESPASSING, ARSON,
DESTRUCTION OF PUBLIC PROPERTY.
Claire: I MEAN, BESIDES THAT STUFF.
LET'S GO.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS THE SECOND TIME IN 2 DAYS
I'VE BEEN CALLED OUT ON ACCOUNT OF YOUR KIDS.
AND I GUARANTEE YOU THERE WILL NOT BE A THIRD.
I'M TAKING THEM BACK TO BOSTON FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
WHAT?
MARCH.
Claire: DAD, YOU CAN'T!
Richard: OH, YEAH?
JUST WATCH ME.
SERIOUSLY, DAD, WE DIDN'T START THAT FIRE.
WHO DID, ZACHARIAH KULL?
Ian: HOW'D YOU KNOW?
BACK IN THE CAR, IAN.
NOT ANOTHER WORD.
Claire: THEN I WAS TRAPPED IN THIS PIT
WHERE ZACHARIAH KEEPS ALL THE SOULS THAT HE'S CAPTURED.
SO THEN HE CAPTURED JUMPER, AND--
JUMPER?
THE OTHER GHOST. THE ONE IN THE JAR.
OH, OF COURSE. RIGHT.
IF HE HADN'T SACRIFICED HIMSELF,
CLAIRE MIGHT BE LYING AT THE BOTTOM OF A PIT RIGHT NOW.
SO BASICALLY, YOU CAN'T SEND US HOME
WHILE ZACHARIAH'S STILL LOOSE AND GRANDPA HASN'T CROSSED OVER.
WOW. THAT IS ONE PRETTY AMAZING STORY.
COME UP WITH THAT ALL ON YOUR OWN?
[SIGHS] I KNEW HE WOULDN'T BELIEVE US.
WE'RE NOT MAKING THIS UP.
WE'RE NOT ACTING OUT OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU THINK WE'RE DOING.
WE'RE DOING THIS BECAUSE WE HAVE TO
BECAUSE WE CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO GRANDPA!
AND APPARENTLY I DON'T?
IAN, CARING IS A TWO-WAY STREET,
AND YOUR GRANDFATHER--
WHAT IS IT WITH THE MEN IN THIS FAMILY?
YOU AND GRANDPA COULD BARELY SAY HELLO TO EACH OTHER.
YOU TWO ARE ALWAYS FIGHTING. KNOCK IT OFF!
WE'VE GOT A LOT MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUST THE KIND OF THING
YOUR MOTHER WOULD'VE SAID.
[EXPLOSION]
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON OUT THERE?
IAN, GET THE HOSE.
CLAIRE, GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER
IN THE KITCHEN.
Ian: GOT IT!
ALL RIGHT, NOT TOO CLOSE, SON.
NOT TOO CLOSE.
TAKE IT EASY. ATTA BOY.
I THINK WE'RE ALL RIGHT, CLAIRE.
I THINK WE'RE ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S IT.
WHAT KIND OF INSANE PRANK IS THAT?
DAD, I DON'T THINK IT WAS A PRANK.
THANKS A LOT, GUYS.
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, I'VE SPENT MORE TIME IN THE LAST 3 DAYS
TALKING TO THE POLICE
THAN I DID IN THE ENTIRE TIME I GREW UP HERE,
AND I WAS CONSIDERED SOMETHING OF A HOOLIGAN.
YOU DIDN'T TELL THEM ABOUT--
UH, NO.
THEY DIDN'T MENTION FLAME-THROWING GHOSTS
AS POSSIBLE SUSPECTS,
AND I WASN'T ABOUT TO SUGGEST IT.
BUT YOU KNOW ZACHARIAH STARTED IT?
OR ANY PYRO WITH A CAN OF GASOLINE AND A MATCH.
LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW WHO--
OR WHAT.
STARTED THIS,
BUT I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE THREATENING MY FAMILY.
DOES THAT MEAN WE DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME TODAY?
CONSIDER THIS A REPRIEVE.
YES!
ON ONE CONDITION:
I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING INTO ANY MORE TROUBLE.
UH, COULD YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC?
Ian: GOOD THING HE WASN'T MORE SPECIFIC.
THAT'S ABOUT THE TENTH NO TRESPASSING SIGN WE'VE PASSED.
I KNOW. MAKES YOU SUSPICIOUS, DOESN'T IT?
YEAH. OF WARNER.
WE'VE GOT TO FIND THE REMAINS
OF ZACHARIAH'S CABIN.
IT'S UP HERE SOMEPLACE.
I JUST WANT TO SEE FOR MYSELF.
ALL THIS LEGEND OF ZACHARIAH KULL BUSINESS
JUST ISN'T ADDING UP.
CLAIRE, IN THE PAST 2 DAYS,
HE'S KIDNAPPED OUR GRANDFATHER'S SOUL,
THROWN A FIREBALL AT US...
CAPTURED JUMPER...
THE BEST PARTNER A DEAD MAN EVER HAD.
Ian: HE EVEN SET A BRUSH FIRE IN OUR FRONT YARD.
Claire: I DIDN'T SAY I LIKED THE GUY.
I JUST THINK WE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO STOP HIM
IF WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WANTS.
I HAVE A GUESS--
THE TOTAL DESTRUCTION OF THE TOWN
AND ALL ITS INHABITANTS.
BUT WHY?
HE SHE ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY?
AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER.
[MUTTERING]
Claire: THE LIBRARIAN SAID THAT WHEN ZACHARIAH'S CABIN BLEW UP
IT LEFT A HUGE CRATER.
Ian: I THINK IT'S UP HERE.
Claire: IT'S HERE!
Ian: SO THIS IS WHAT WARNER WANTS
TO TURN INTO A TOURIST ATTRACTION?
Coffin Ed: WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE TOURISTS.
AND WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE LOOKING FOR?
I'M NOT 100% POSITIVE.
AH, OK. I'LL SHOUT OUT WHEN I SEE IT.
YES! LOOK!
I WILL BET YOU MY ENTIRE YEAR'S ALLOWANCE
THAT THERE'S SOME SORT OF PIPE AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS CRATER.
I DON'T USUALLY ADVOCATE TAKING ADVANTAGE
OF THE REALLY STUPID, BUT YOU SHOULD TAKE THAT BET.
THAT'S FREE MONEY.
IT'S HERE! LOOK!
I WAS RIGHT! I WAS RIGHT!
ED, WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME HOW DEEP IT IS?
YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!
OH, ALL RIGHT, MISSY.
I'VE DONE WORSE THINGS.
AND...AAH!
YOU HEAR SOMETHING?
NO, I THINK HE'S TOO FAR DOWN.
[GROWLING]
[SNARLING]
NICE DOGGIE.
[COUGHS]
OK, I LIED.
THAT WAS THE WORST THING I EVER DID.
UH, ED...DO YOU THINK YOU COULD DISTRACT HIM FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES
WHILE WE RUN SCREAMING THROUGH THE FOREST?
OH, VERY NICE.
EXPLOITING THE DEAD, EH?
ALL RIGHT, BUT YOU OWE ME ONE, OK? BIG TIME.
COME ON THEN, PUSSYCAT.
[SNARLING]
COME ON, THEN.
WANT A LITTLE BIT OF THIS?
COME ON, THEN.
MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW.
NA NA NA-NA NA!
[YELPS]
[WHINES]
THIS DAY JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.
[SCREAMING]
Ian: I THINK I HAVE POISON OAK.
CALM DOWN, I'M SURE IT'S JUST A TICK.
LOOK!
THAT WOULD FIT PERFECTLY AROUND THAT PIPE!
AND?
WELCOME BACK.
ARE YOU TWO ALL RIGHT?
WELL, I'VE GOT POISON OAK OR LYME DISEASE.
AND I NEED SOME OLD NEWSPAPERS OR COUNTY RECORDS--
ANYTHING FROM AROUND THE TIME
THAT ZACHARIAH KULL WAS ALIVE.
THAT I CAN HELP YOU WITH.
THE HAS BEEN PUBLISHED CONTINUOUSLY SINCE 1797,
AND I BOUND THEM ALL INTO BOOKS.
NEED TO FINISH UP SOME OF YOUR GRANDPA'S WORK, HUH?
GRANDPA'S WORK?
WELL, THOSE ARE THE EXACT SAME BOOKS
THAT YOU BROUGHT BACK TO ME THE OTHER DAY,
SO I FIGURED THAT...
WELL, NOW, THAT'S--THAT'S ODD.
I'M SURE THAT'S WHERE I PUT THEM.
HAS ANYBODY ELSE BEEN LOOKING AT THE BOOKS?
JUST WARNER.
THANK YOU.
Claire: I KNOW WARNER TOOK THOSE BOOKS.
HE WAS LOOKING FOR THEM THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL.
Ian: AND GRANDPA PRACTICALLY THREW THEM AT ME THAT NIGHT.
I JUST CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT'S IN THEM.
LOOK! WARNER'S TRUCK!
[WHIMPERS]
HEY, KIDS. YOU LOOKIN' FOR ME?
OH, HI, MR. MacDONALD.
WE WERE JUST LOOKING AT YOUR DOG.
SEEMS PRETTY WIPED OUT.
YEAH, WE HAD A LITTLE PROBLEM WITH SOME TRESPASSERS
UP ON THE HILL THIS MORNIN'.
HE JUST ABOUT RAN HIMSELF SILLY.
SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN TO STAY AWAY.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
YOU HEARD ME.
WELL, I BETTER GET ALONG.
TONIGHT'S THE BIG NIGHT,
AND WE STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED CONSTRUCTING THE BONFIRE.
HOPE YOU KIDS CAN MAKE IT.
WE WOULDN'T MISS IT.
HE DOESN'T SCARE ME.
HEY, JIMMY, JOHNNY, YOU'RE LOOKIN' GOOD!
THANKS, POPS!
HEY, POPS!
WE HAVE TO FIND WARNER'S HOUSE.
WE'VE GOT TO SEE WHAT'S IN THOSE BOOKS.
Coffin Ed: OY! IS THE COAST CLEAR?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[COUGHS]
WELL, WISHING HE'D GET A NEW MUFFLER.
I DIDN'T GET A WINK OF SLEEP IN THERE.
Claire: ACCORDING TO THE MAILBOX, THIS IS WARNER'S PLACE.
Ian: HURRY UP. WE DON'T KNOW WHEN WARNER'S GONNA BE BACK.
Ed: HMMM, A CLASSIC SPRING LOCK
WITH, UH... 6 INTERLOCKING TUMBLERS.
IT'S TOUGH, BUT I'VE OPENED WORSE.
WE DON'T WANT YOU TO PICK IT.
JUST GO IN THERE AND OPEN IT.
FINE, BUT I'M SURPRISED YOU'RE ADDING BREAKING AND ENTERING
TO YOUR ALREADY BURGEONING CRIMINAL RECORD.
IT'S NOT BREAKING AND ENTERING.
IT'S JUST ENTERING IF THE DOOR'S UNLOCKED.
HINT.
AN ARTIST CANNOT BE RUSHED.
I'D LIKE TO SEE DAVID COPPERFIELD DO THAT.
IAN, YOU CHECK UPSTAIRS.
ED, TAKE THE BASEMENT. I'LL LOOK AROUND DOWN HERE.
Coffin Ed: OH, BY ALL MEANS,
SEND THE GHOUL INTO THE BASEMENT.
GOT 'EM!
THEY WERE UNDER HIS BED
ALONG WITH SOME PRETTY VICIOUS DUST BUNNIES.
I HATE TO BE THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS,
BUT...BAD NEWS. HE'S BACK.
SEE YOU IN 5 TO 10.
OUT THE BACK!
Bills, bills, bills...
HELLO.
I THOUGHT PEOPLE NEVER LOCKED THEIR DOORS IN SMALL TOWNS!
IS THERE ANYBODY THERE?
LET ME DO IT!
[THUD]
AAH! I KNEW IT!
WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THOSE LOUSY KIDS, I'M GONNA--
AAAH!
OH! WARNER. SORRY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I CAME TO ASK YOU A COUPLE QUESTIONS ABOUT ZACHARIAH KULL.
HA!
MORE'N LIKELY CREATING A DIVERSION
SO YOUR KIDS CAN GET AWAY.
WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
MY HOUSE HAS BEEN BROKEN INTO.
WELL, THAT CERTAINLY DOESN'T MEAN IAN AND CLAIRE HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT.
WELL, THOSE BOOKS ARE GONE, SO I KNOW IT WAS YOUR KIDS.
BOOKS?
I'M GONNA GO AND MAKE SURE THAT THOSE KIDS OF YOURS ARE ARRESTED.
OH, WELL, COME ON, WARNER.
I THINK YOU'RE OVERREACTING.
MAYBE YOU JUST MISPLACED THEM.
I DIDN'T MISPLACE THEM.
GET OUTTA MY WAY.
CAN I OFFER YOU A RIDE?
HI, KIDS. HOW WAS YOUR AFTERNOON?
COMMIT ANY GRAND LARCENIES THAT YOUR OLD MAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT?
DAD, WE CAN EXPLAIN.
SIT!
SO THESE ARE THE BOOKS, HUH?
DAD, I THINK WARNER'S THE ONE WHO SET OUR DRIVEWAY ON FIRE.
HE WARNED ME THAT--
IAN!
DO YOU NOT GET IT?
YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE, SO BE QUIET.
I THINK HE DID IT, TOO.
SOMEBODY BROKE INTO MY HOUSE, THE LAST THING I'D CHECK FOR
IS A COUPLE OF LIBRARY BOOKS.
OH, DON'T GET ME WRONG. YOU'RE STILL IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.
UH, HELLO?
UH, HELP! HELLO? ANYBODY OUT THERE?
IT'S JUMPER, REMEMBER?
SUCKED UP IN MINE. NEED HELP.
OK, I'VE GOT ONE WORD FOR YOU: GAS.
THANKS FOR THE WARNING.
NO. I THINK THAT ZACHARIAH TRIED TO DRILL A NATURAL GAS WELL,
AND IT BLEW UP.
BUT THE FIRST NATURAL GAS WELL
WASN'T DRILLED UNTIL, LIKE, 1821.
IT WAS 50 MILES FROM HERE.
WHAT?! IT'S IN GRANDPA'S BOOK.
OK, YOU'RE BOTH SCARING ME,
AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT EITHER ONE OF YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.
WE KNOW THAT NATURAL GAS SEEPS UP OUT OF THE GROUND AT COAL HILL.
I MEAN, IT'S WHY THEY SHUT DOWN THE MINE, RIGHT?
BUT ZACHARIAH TRIED TO DIG A WELL...
TO USE IT OR STORE IT OR SOMETHING.
THAT'S WHAT THE PIPE IS DOING IN THE GROUND,
AND THE BIG CRATER IS THERE,
BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE THE WHOLE THING BLEW UP!
ZACHARIAH WASN'T CRAZY. HE DIDN'T KILL HIS WIFE.
HE DIDN'T BURN DOWN HIS HOUSE. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
AND THE POINT OF THIS WOULD BE?
ZACHARIAH'S SEEKING REVENGE
BECAUSE HE WAS WRONGLY ACCUSED OF KILLING HIS WIFE
AND WAS BURNED AT THE STAKE.
BUT WHAT DO THE BOOKS HAVE TO DO WITH IT?
THAT I'M NOT 100% CLEAR ON.
THANK YOU, SHERLOCK.
HERE IT IS!
"REBECCA KULL, WIFE OF LOCAL INVENTOR ZACHARIAH KULL,
"DIED LAST NIGHT IN A DEVASTATING EXPLOSION
THAT CONSUMED THEIR HOME."
HERE'S A PICTURE OF HER.
"IT IS THOUGHT THAT MR. KULL'S UNNATURAL INVENTION
WAS THE CAUSE OF THE BLAST."
"UNNATURAL INVENTION"?
WHO CARES IF ZACHARIAH WAS INNOCENT?!
THE ONLY THING I CARE ABOUT IS GRANDPA,
AND NO ONE SEEMS TO BE DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
WELL, WE'RE DOING EVERYTHING WE CAN THINK OF, SON.
WE SHOULD BE CALLING IN THE NATIONAL GUARD,
S.W.A.T. TEAMS, ANYTHING!
ANYTHING BUT SITTING AROUND READING SOME STUPID NEWSPAPER ARTICLES.
IAN--
YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT HIM.
YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME!
ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOURSELF!
DO YOU WANT ME TO GO AFTER HIM?
NO. IT'S OK.
HE JUST NEEDS SOME TIME TO HIMSELF.
I KNOW I DID WHEN I SAID
EXACTLY THE SAME THING TO MY FATHER.
PRESS HARDER, YOU'RE MAKING 3 COPIES.
ED?!
THERE YOU GO.
WHERE'S MARIAH?
OH...HI.
OH, I WAS JUST DOWN HERE LOOKING FOR MY EARRING...
I LOST MY--OH! LOOK, IT'S RIGHT THERE.
IT WAS RIGHT THERE THE WHOLE TIME. I WAS LOOKING--
HAVE YOU EVER LOST SOMETHING, AND YOU'RE, LIKE,
YOUR SUNGLASSES ARE ON YOUR HEAD. YOU'RE "WHERE'S MY--
OOP! THERE THEY ARE!
NO.
NOT EVER?
IF YOU MEET A WITCH AND SHE OFFERS YOU AN APPLE, DON'T TAKE IT.
Ian: BUT WHY NOT?!
CAN'T YOU SEE? I HAVE DEAD PEOPLE WHO NEED ME.
SORRY TO MAKE YOU WAIT. WELCOME TO DEATH.
ENJOY YOURSELF.
ARE YOU HUNGRY? YOU NEED A SNACK?
OH, YOU HOUND DOG.
EXACTLY, AND MY GRANDFATHER WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE DEAD NEEDS YOU.
AREN'T THERE PEOPLE YOU CAN CALL?
REPORT TO THE BIG CHEESE AND--
NO, NO, NO. LISTEN, LITTLE ALIVE BOY.
NOBODY IS GONNA REPORT THIS TO ANYONE, OK?
NOW, I MIGHT SEEM ALL SUGAR AND SPICE AND FUN,
BUT YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE MY BAD SIDE.
DON'T EVEN.
FINE, DON'T HELP!
HEY, WHEN YOU GET TO THE OTHER SIDE,
I NEED YOU TO GIVE SOMEBODY A MESSAGE.
OH, NO, NO, NO. LOOK, KID,
I'M SERIOUS, OK?
IF EVERYBODY JUST KEEPS THEIR MOUTH SHUT,
THEN I WILL FINALLY BE OUT OF HERE BY NEXT WEEK,
OK? SHH! GOOD!
WHAT?!
NOBODY STAYS HERE VERY LONG.
EXCEPT ME.
YOU'D THINK AFTER 250 YEARS I'D AT LEAST GET A WATCH.
SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA ABANDON THEM
WHILE YOU TAKE A FREE RIDE TO THE OTHER SIDE?
OK, KID...
I KNOW YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME.
BUT I AM SO CLOSE!
AND ALL I WANT IS JUST TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE
AND BE WITH MY FAMILY.
DON'T YOU THINK ALL THOSE LOST SOULS WANT THAT, TOO?
UGH!
NOW, ZACHARIAH HAS BEEN OUT THERE FOR OVER 200 YEARS.
IT'S ABOUT TIME SOMEONE STOPPED HIM.
UH...YOU'D BE A HERO.
THEY'D PROBABLY CALL YOU OVER IMMEDIATELY...
EVEN APOLOGIZE FOR MAKING YOU WAIT SO LONG.
WELL, THEY SHOULD.
BUT YOU'RE PROBABLY NO MATCH FOR ZACHARIAH.
OH, PLEASE. ARE YOU KIDDING?!
I COULD BLAST OL' DRAGON BREATH THROUGH THAT PORTAL
SO FAST IT'D MAKE HIS HEAD SPIN.
ED, HOLD THE PHONES!
WE'RE GONNA SAVE SOME SOULS!
WHAT PHONES?
Richard: OLD ZACHARIAH NEVER EVEN GOT A TRIAL!
THE HAULED HIM INTO TOWN THE VERY NEXT DAY AND SET HIM ABLAZE.
HIS LAST WORDS WERE, "WAIT FOR ME, REBECCA."
HE ALREADY KNEW THAT HE WASN'T GOING TO CROSS OVER.
WHAT WERE THE GOOD PEOPLE OF STEEPLE FALLS AFRAID OF, ANYWAY?
Claire: THEY THOUGHT HE WAS SOME SORT OF SORCERER,
BUT HE WAS A VISIONARY.
HE WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO HARNESS NATURAL GAS FOR HIS LIGHTS AND STUFF.
BUT HE WAS ALSO DIFFERENT.
PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF WHAT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND.
DO YOU THINK WARNER KNOWS THE TRUTH?
IF PEOPLE KNEW THE REAL STORY,
THAT WOULD TAKE SOME OF THE STEAM
OUT OF HIS SCARY LITTLE FESTIVAL.
THEN ONCE EVERYONE KNOWS THE TRUTH ABOUT ZACHARIAH,
HE WON'T HAVE TO STICK AROUND.
I'M SURE THAT'S ALL HE EVER WANTED.
WELL, THAT SOUNDS KINDA LOGICAL
FOR A FLAME-THROWING FORCE OF EVIL.
DAD.
BUT IT'S WORTH A SHOT.
LET'S GO.
UH, HELLO? AHEM! IT'S JUMPER! HELP!
HELLO? ANYBODY OUT THERE?
ANY CHANCE I CAN GET A LITTLE LEMONADE IN HERE?
HEY, SKELETOR!
NOW, IS IT ME,
OR HAS HE BEEN WORKING OUT?
[GROWLS]
I SEE YOU DIDN'T LEARN YOUR LESSON THE FIRST TIME.
YOU THOUGHT WE WERE JUST GONNA LET YOU GO ON STEALING SOULS?!
I'LL DO AS I PLEASE.
AND RIGHT NOW, THERE'S A LITTLE FESTIVAL IN MY HONOR,
WHICH I MUST ATTEND.
SO IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME...
ZACHARIAH KULL, I PRESUME.
[CHEERING]
Claire: I DON'T SEE WARNER ANYWHERE!
YEAH, AND NO IAN.
I REALLY THOUGHT HE WOULD BE HERE.
BYE BYE BYE!
HEY, WARNER!
HEY, RICHARD!
WE NEED YOU TO TELL PEOPLE THE TRUTH ABOUT ZACHARIAH KULL.
THE TRUTH?!
PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THAT HE WAS INNOCENT,
THAT HIS WIFE DIED IN A HORRIBLE ACCIDENT,
AND THAT HE WAS EXECUTED FOR A CRIME HE DIDN'T COMMIT.
EVERYTHING IS IN THESE BOOKS
YOU DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO SEE.
I KNEW YOU STOLE THOSE BOOKS.
OK, OK, FINE. HAVE US ALL ARRESTED.
LISTEN, ARE YOU GONNA TELL EVERYONE, OR ARE WE?
WHY DO YOU CARE?!
I MEAN HE'S-- HE'S A MYTH,
A LEGEND, A GHOST STORY.
WHOO-HOO-HOO!
WHO CARES IF HE WAS INNOCENT OR NOT?
HE'S DEAD AND GONE!
ACTUALLY, HE'S KIDNAPPED MY GRANDFATHER'S SOUL,
SO IT REALLY IS KIND OF IMPORTANT.
LISTEN, ZACHARIAH KULL IS THE PERFECT VILLAIN.
HE'S THE PERSON THAT PEOPLE LOVE TO HATE.
FINE. WE'LL DO IT WITHOUT YOU.
NOT IF I CAN HELP IT!
NO!
SO, ZACHY, WE CAN DO THIS THE EASY WAY,
OR THE HARD WAY.
WE AREN'T LEAVING HERE UNTIL YOU FREE THOSE SOULS!
[GROWLS]
AH-AH-AH-CHOO!
[GASPING]
OH, YOU DIDN'T THINK THEY'D LEAVE ME IN CHARGE
WITHOUT A FEW TRICKS UP THESE RAGGEDY CHIFFON SLEEVES, DID YOU? HUH?
I ONLY TOOK THOSE SOULS WHO DIDN'T WANT
TO CROSS OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE,
WHO HAD UNFINISHED BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO, LIKE ME.
WHAT ABOUT JUMPER?!
WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS THAT, ANYWAY? JUMPER.
BUT...
HIS LIFE FORCE HAS PROVEN TO BE PARTICULARLY USEFUL.
WAIT, WAIT.
IS THAT WHOLE FIERY, UH--
SNOT--
NASAL THING NEW?
BECAUSE I DID NOT READ IT IN ANY REPORTS, PEOPLE!
IN THE WORDS OF THE IMMORTAL BARD, AM-SCRAY!
Ian: AAH!
[CHUCKLES]
I'M TOO OLD TO DIE AGAIN!
Richard: IT WAS A LONG SHOT, CLAIRE.
I DON'T KNOW THAT THOSE BOOKS
WOULD HAVE CHANGED PEOPLE'S OPINIONS OF ZACHARIAH.
COME ON. WE GOT TO FIND IAN.
Zachariah: AAAAAAH!
I THINK 200 YEARS OF RAGE ARE ABOUT TO BE LET LOOSE.
STAY BACK, CLAIRE. I'M GONNA GRAB WARNER.
WARNER!
[CHUCKLING]
WHY DON'T YOU RUN, LITTLE ONE?
BECAUSE I KNOW THE TRUTH!
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T KILL YOUR WIFE.
I KNOW ABOUT THE WELL. I KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING!
THEN YOU ALSO KNOW WHY I FINALLY HAVE TO DESTROY THIS TOWN.
START TALKING!
Y-YEAH, LISTEN! I'M SORRY!
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE DIFFERENT!
WE'LL HAVE THE FESTIVAL IN YOUR NAME!
HA HA! I'LL HAVE ANOTHER SON, AND I'LL NAME HIM AFTER YOU!
Richard: WHAT ELSE?
I KNEW YOU WERE INNOCENT BEFORE WE STARTED THE FESTIVAL!
I GUESS I JUST NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D MIND!
GUESS AGAIN.
HEE...HEE...UUHH...
BUT YOU'RE NOT THIS MAN, ZACHARIAH!
YOU'RE AN INVENTOR, A CREATOR.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT REBECCA?
YOU TOLD HER TO WAIT FOR YOU.
HOW MUCH LONGER IS SHE GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT?
YOU FOCUSED SO MUCH ENERGY ON ANGER AND HATE,
YOU FORGOT WHAT YOU LOVED.
Rebecca, whispering: Zachariah.
ZACHARIAH.
I LOVE YOU.
REBECCA.
Rebecca...
YOU GOT WHAT YOU REALLY WANTED...
THE TRUTH!
[PEOPLE MURMURING]
YOU DID IT!
DAD!
IAN!
LOOK!
THEY'RE FREE.
HE LET THEM ALL GO!
Townspeople: AH! OH! OOH!
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT USUALLY A FESTIVAL KIND OF GUY,
BUT THAT ONE WAS PRETTY DECENT.
YEAH. THOUGH I WAS KINDA BUMMED THE FERRIS WHEEL BURNED DOWN.
ALL I WANNA DO IS TAKE A LONG, HOT BATH
AND CARVE MY PUMPKIN--AAH!
CLAIRE, WHAT IS IT?
GRANDPA?
HI.
SORRY TO STARTLE YOU.
DAD?
H-H-HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
YOU'RE STILL ASKING THAT AFTER TONIGHT?
DO YOU'RE HERE?
I HAVE A REPRIEVE.
A NICE LADY AT THE CENTER
SAID YOU ARRANGED THIS. THANKS.
ANY TIME.
AND THANKS FOR THE BOOKS.
THEY WERE A BIG HELP.
BOOKS? I JUST WANTED YOUR FATHER
TO SEE THE BOX BEHIND THEM.
THOUGHT HE MIGHT FIGURE IT OUT
WITHOUT MY HAVING TO HANG AROUND SO LONG.
UH...FIGURE WHAT OUT?
I JUST WANT TO SAY
HOW PROUD I AM OF YOU.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
THAT'S WHY YOU STAYED BEHIND?
YOU WERE A SMART KID, BUT ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO DO
WAS HANG AROUND WITH YOUR STUPID OLD MAN.
DAD--
ALL I EVER WANTED FOR YOU
WAS TO GET OUT OF THIS TOWN, SEE THE WORLD,
USE YOUR GIFTS.
I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOUR FUTURE,
I...KIND OF LOST TRACK OF YOUR PRESENT.
AND AS DIFFERENT AS I THOUGHT YOU WERE,
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE MAKIN' ALL THE SAME MISTAKES.
NOT ANYMORE.
BYE, GRAMPS.
WE'LL MISS YOU.
SO...DO YOU HAVE TO RUSH OFF?
NAH. ETERNITY CAN WAIT A COUPLE OF HOURS.
SCARED? HA! I WASN'T SCARED.
I WAS JUST BIDIN' MY TIME,
WAITIN' FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT TO MAKE MY MOVE,
AND YOU KNOW I GOT MOVES. WAH! WHAAAAH!
ZACHARIAH KULL. HE AIN'T SO BAD.
CROSSED OVER JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE, ONE LEG AT A TIME.
THAT'S RIGHT. I'M JUST SURPRISED THEY HAVEN'T BOUNCED HIM BACK.
WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL.
MY POSTING HAS BEEN EXTENDED...
INDEFINITELY.
THANK YOU.
YOU'LL BE OUT BEFORE THE NEXT MILLENNIUM.
DIDN'T CAPTURING ZACHARIAH AND FREEING ALL THOSE SOULS
COUNT FOR ANYTHING?
WELL, APPARENTLY, THE RATHER PUBLIC SPECTACLE
OUTWEIGHED THE BENEFITS.
IT'S OK, THOUGH.
NO, I'M FINE. NO...I'M GOOD.
NO, NO, SIT. I'M JUST GONNA GO BACK
AND DO WHAT I DO EVERY SINGLE DAY.
I'LL BE OVER HERE.
I'M REALLY SORRY.
BUT, HEY, WE'LL COME AND HANG OUT.
THAT IS, IF THE LIVING ARE WELCOME.
HEY, AREN'T YOU GUYS GOING BACK TO BOSTON?
NOPE. DAD SAID WE COULD STAY.
APPARENTLY, HE WANTS TO GET IN TOUCH WITH HIS ROOTS,
NOT TO MENTION HE LOVES THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
[SOB]
I'M GONNA HAVE THIS JOB FOREVER.
WHAAAH AH...AH...AH...
♪ SCREAM TEAM
♪ EVERYBODY
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER ♪
♪ COVER YOUR EYES
♪ GET READY FOR A BIG SURPRISE ♪
♪ SPIRITS IN A BOTTLE, GHOSTS IN THE MACHINE ♪
♪ WALKIN' ON WATER, FLOATIN' ON A DREAM ♪
♪ IF YOU SEE 'EM COMIN'
♪ YOU BETTER START RUNNIN'
♪ WITH THE SCREAM TEAM
♪ BETTER START RUNNIN'
♪ WANT TO TREAT OR TRICK IT? ♪
♪ YOU KNOW YOU GOTTA KICK IT WITH THE SCREAM TEAM ♪
♪ BETTER START RUNNING
♪ WITH THE SCREAM TEAM
HEY, GUYS.
DON'T WORRY. I'M ALMOST DONE.
OK. CAME OUT TO SEE IF YOU NEEDED ANY HELP.
UH...SURE.
THIS STUPID PART KEEPS JAMMING.
OH. LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
NOW TRY IT.
ALL RIGHT, DAD!
HUH?
I THINK THIS IS WHY I WENT INTO MEDICINE.
♪ SCREEEAAM
♪ EVERYBODY
♪ SCREAM
♪ SCREEEAAAM
♪ EVERYBODY
♪ SCREAM