1 00:02:25,849 --> 00:02:27,115 That's Laura's car. 2 00:02:28,693 --> 00:02:30,558 - Laura! - You lost? 3 00:02:30,695 --> 00:02:33,323 - Hi, sweetie! - Yeah. How do I get back to New York? 4 00:02:33,465 --> 00:02:36,298 - Hey. Still driving the booger. - Don't move. I'm getting in. 5 00:02:36,434 --> 00:02:38,800 - Nice car, sweetie. - Sweetheart... 6 00:02:39,571 --> 00:02:42,734 - Trip... no, no. - It's OK, I got it. 7 00:02:42,874 --> 00:02:44,239 I got it, I got it. 8 00:02:45,043 --> 00:02:46,476 Don't fall! 9 00:02:46,611 --> 00:02:47,942 Hi, mama! 10 00:02:48,947 --> 00:02:52,144 Oh, my God! Had to get out of there. 11 00:02:52,284 --> 00:02:55,447 Desperate situation. All right. Truth. 12 00:02:56,388 --> 00:02:59,016 Have I gotten obese? Tell me the truth. 13 00:03:00,659 --> 00:03:04,390 - Are we gonna start that already? - Just tell me the truth. 14 00:03:04,529 --> 00:03:08,192 - You can't lie for shit. - You look revolting, head to toe. 15 00:03:08,333 --> 00:03:11,029 Good. 'Cause you've never looked worse in your life. 16 00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:13,198 Oh, babe. 17 00:03:13,338 --> 00:03:14,771 Trip. 18 00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:17,474 You always know what to say. 19 00:03:19,344 --> 00:03:23,178 I think this occasion calls for a drink. 20 00:03:25,016 --> 00:03:27,314 Yeah. Yeah, a couple. 21 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,845 - Go. Go. - Wanna race? 22 00:03:30,989 --> 00:03:32,047 I'll race you. 23 00:03:40,432 --> 00:03:42,457 Tom, man. The guy just keeps winning. 24 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,625 Honey, you didn't do so bad. 25 00:03:44,769 --> 00:03:47,761 Sweetie... Sweetie, the day we met was the best day of my life. 26 00:03:47,906 --> 00:03:49,305 It was nighttime, honey. 27 00:03:49,441 --> 00:03:53,844 It was 2:00am, September 20th, 1 999 is what it was. 28 00:03:53,979 --> 00:03:55,378 I believe we were at the Yankee Doodle. 29 00:03:55,513 --> 00:03:56,980 And I asked if I could borrow your ketchup. 30 00:03:57,115 --> 00:03:58,912 And I saw that you already had a bottle on your table. 31 00:03:59,050 --> 00:04:01,575 I know. It was a bold-faced lie, but I was desperate to meet you. 32 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:03,813 When are you ladies gonna get married already? 33 00:04:03,955 --> 00:04:06,355 - October? - May... be October. 34 00:04:07,359 --> 00:04:08,792 Maybe October. 35 00:04:25,744 --> 00:04:28,212 - You're here! - We're here! 36 00:04:30,115 --> 00:04:31,275 Finally! 37 00:04:31,416 --> 00:04:32,383 How's my hair? 38 00:04:32,517 --> 00:04:33,506 - Revolting. - Makeup? 39 00:04:33,651 --> 00:04:34,879 - Trashy. - Clothes? 40 00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:36,351 Tacky choice. 41 00:04:37,222 --> 00:04:39,520 - You look beautiful. - Thank you. 42 00:04:45,764 --> 00:04:47,857 All right, all right, all right, we'll have enough time tonight 43 00:04:47,999 --> 00:04:50,058 to kiss your butt at the rehearsal dinner. 44 00:04:50,201 --> 00:04:51,566 - Lo. - Li. 45 00:04:51,703 --> 00:04:53,466 - Weez. - Trip. 46 00:05:21,699 --> 00:05:23,394 Lila. 47 00:05:57,135 --> 00:05:58,363 Lila. 48 00:06:01,873 --> 00:06:03,568 Lila Hayes is... 49 00:06:05,477 --> 00:06:07,001 ...not my friend. 50 00:06:08,413 --> 00:06:10,313 Lila Hayes is my sister. 51 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,125 Lila and I have shared many things: 52 00:06:31,269 --> 00:06:35,228 Rooms, clothes, study notes, boyfriends... 53 00:06:45,683 --> 00:06:48,049 Lila Hayes is... 54 00:06:51,389 --> 00:06:53,619 ...the luckiest girl in the world. 55 00:06:53,758 --> 00:06:55,020 She has... 56 00:06:56,794 --> 00:07:01,891 ...beauty, intelligence, a killer backhand, 57 00:07:02,967 --> 00:07:04,559 boobs I would kill for. 58 00:07:06,271 --> 00:07:08,466 She's graced with all of these things. 59 00:07:12,343 --> 00:07:14,504 And she's brought us all here tonight... 60 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:16,811 ...to celebrate... 61 00:07:19,951 --> 00:07:22,852 ...her greatest accomplishment... 62 00:07:28,526 --> 00:07:30,050 ...love. 63 00:07:33,464 --> 00:07:35,625 Trip, I'm standing right here. 64 00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:36,961 It's perfume. 65 00:07:37,101 --> 00:07:39,592 Can you just try not to spray it in my nose? 66 00:07:41,005 --> 00:07:44,065 I am so screwed for my toast. I haven't written a thing. 67 00:07:44,209 --> 00:07:46,404 You always say that and then you give the best one. 68 00:07:46,544 --> 00:07:50,173 You have an unfair advantage, Miss Published Writer. 69 00:07:50,315 --> 00:07:53,546 But, tonight you've got competition. 70 00:07:53,685 --> 00:07:55,277 Your signature rhyming ode? 71 00:07:55,420 --> 00:07:58,048 Damn right. Guaranteed to bring down the house. 72 00:07:58,556 --> 00:07:59,818 Nice. 73 00:08:00,959 --> 00:08:02,392 Hey, you OK? 74 00:08:02,527 --> 00:08:05,087 Why does everyone keep asking me that? 75 00:08:05,230 --> 00:08:06,720 Can I borrow...? 76 00:08:06,864 --> 00:08:09,526 Yeah, I wonder why people keep asking you that. 77 00:08:10,969 --> 00:08:12,869 I'm sorry. It was just... 78 00:08:13,004 --> 00:08:15,029 - ...a really long drive. - Cut the bullshit, Lo. 79 00:08:15,173 --> 00:08:17,471 When was the last time you saw him? 80 00:08:17,609 --> 00:08:19,474 - Saw who? - Tom. 81 00:08:19,611 --> 00:08:21,943 When was the last time you saw Tom? 82 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,844 - I don't know. - You don't know? 83 00:08:24,983 --> 00:08:26,951 - You dated the man for four years. - Five. 84 00:08:27,085 --> 00:08:30,714 - Five. - But you guys have stayed close. 85 00:08:30,855 --> 00:08:33,380 Yeah, we are. I mean, we were. 86 00:08:33,524 --> 00:08:34,991 Well, when? 87 00:08:36,828 --> 00:08:39,456 Honestly, I don't remember. 88 00:08:39,597 --> 00:08:43,761 - Before he proposed? - Around then, I guess. 89 00:08:43,901 --> 00:08:45,801 You guess? 90 00:08:47,972 --> 00:08:51,237 Fine, it was the day before. 91 00:08:51,376 --> 00:08:54,311 That's sweet. He called to tell you first? 92 00:08:54,445 --> 00:08:55,742 No. 93 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,575 - But you spoke with him? - Yeah. 94 00:08:57,715 --> 00:09:00,275 - Trip, just back off. - So you knew before Lila? 95 00:09:00,418 --> 00:09:04,184 - Actually, he didn't mention it. - He didn't mention it? 96 00:09:04,322 --> 00:09:05,789 So when did you hear? 97 00:09:05,923 --> 00:09:09,825 When Lila called to ask me to be her maid of honor. 98 00:09:09,961 --> 00:09:11,451 And then? 99 00:09:12,363 --> 00:09:15,093 And then... nothing. 100 00:09:15,967 --> 00:09:17,025 Nothing? 101 00:09:17,835 --> 00:09:21,327 No. We haven't spoken since. 102 00:09:23,074 --> 00:09:24,541 Sweetie... 103 00:09:26,444 --> 00:09:30,141 Guys, I'm fine. Really. 104 00:09:30,281 --> 00:09:34,115 Really. I couldn't be happier for them. 105 00:09:34,786 --> 00:09:36,083 OK. 106 00:10:23,701 --> 00:10:25,225 Thank you. 107 00:11:07,111 --> 00:11:08,703 Let's go, ladies. 108 00:11:21,359 --> 00:11:24,123 - There you are! - Hey. 109 00:11:24,262 --> 00:11:29,791 - Well, are you coming? - It's just... 110 00:11:29,934 --> 00:11:33,495 Well? You know I can't do this without you. 111 00:11:33,638 --> 00:11:35,572 Of course I'm coming. 112 00:11:39,777 --> 00:11:41,404 OK. 113 00:11:46,684 --> 00:11:47,776 Guys, we all look good. 114 00:11:47,919 --> 00:11:51,446 - Oh, shit! Shit! Look! - What? 115 00:11:51,589 --> 00:11:53,682 - You know what? I have something... - Just take them off. 116 00:11:53,825 --> 00:11:56,020 - I can't take them off. - Yes, you can. Just take them off. 117 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,185 I've got red nail polish. 118 00:11:58,329 --> 00:11:59,762 It might work, it might work... 119 00:11:59,897 --> 00:12:03,333 - Let's see... - You don't even notice it. 120 00:12:03,468 --> 00:12:05,663 It's kind of sexy. It looks fine. Yeah, yeah. 121 00:12:05,803 --> 00:12:07,293 - It's totally fine. - It looks great. 122 00:12:07,438 --> 00:12:08,666 They're just gonna see your pretty little face. 123 00:12:08,806 --> 00:12:10,364 Oh, and I need to know if this is funny. 124 00:12:10,508 --> 00:12:14,000 I'm gonna say to Lila, ''It's your last chance to have Pete.'' 125 00:12:14,812 --> 00:12:16,803 - That's really funny. - Yeah. 126 00:12:16,948 --> 00:12:19,974 Wow. OK, you guys don't get it. That's cool. 127 00:12:20,117 --> 00:12:22,779 I'll just find something else. Not a big deal. 128 00:12:25,389 --> 00:12:28,119 - That was amazing. - Not yet, buddy. 129 00:12:28,259 --> 00:12:30,159 - What's up, dude? - All right. Ladies and gentlemen, 130 00:12:30,294 --> 00:12:32,819 sorry to interrupt, but cocktails beckon us tonight. 131 00:12:32,964 --> 00:12:35,432 Lila, Tom. Let's do this quickly, shall we, 132 00:12:35,566 --> 00:12:37,932 so that we can toast this fantastic pair. 133 00:12:38,069 --> 00:12:41,095 Chip! You nearly took me down. 134 00:12:41,239 --> 00:12:43,605 I knew it. I still make you weak at the knees. 135 00:12:43,741 --> 00:12:46,801 All right. We will do one walk-through 136 00:12:46,944 --> 00:12:49,208 - of the wedding procession. - Nice bow-tie. 137 00:12:49,347 --> 00:12:53,147 Now, members of the wedding party, I need you to break into pairs. 138 00:12:53,284 --> 00:12:57,880 Husbands will go with wives, fiancés with fiancées... 139 00:12:58,022 --> 00:13:00,183 And Laura, you'll go with Chip. 140 00:13:01,192 --> 00:13:05,219 Flower girls go before Lila, who will go with her father. 141 00:13:05,363 --> 00:13:07,354 Minnow, you will lead the processional. 142 00:13:07,498 --> 00:13:09,728 And, Tom, you'll stand with Reverend Bartlett. 143 00:13:09,867 --> 00:13:11,266 OK. 144 00:13:11,402 --> 00:13:13,461 I'm gonna... I'll probably just... I'll... 145 00:13:14,639 --> 00:13:18,131 - Everybody got it? Good. - This whole thing rests on you. 146 00:13:18,276 --> 00:13:19,903 - OK... - Wait, what's happening? 147 00:13:20,044 --> 00:13:23,502 - The whole thing hinges on you. - Dude, I have no idea what she just... 148 00:13:23,648 --> 00:13:24,740 I don't... 149 00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:26,744 It's kind of intimidating. 150 00:13:26,884 --> 00:13:28,715 I think we're at the back. 151 00:13:29,687 --> 00:13:31,814 I believe we go last. 152 00:13:33,591 --> 00:13:35,684 I think you guys should go... 153 00:13:35,826 --> 00:13:38,852 - Tonight's the night. - And what night is that? 154 00:13:38,996 --> 00:13:41,123 The night you finally fall for me. 155 00:13:41,265 --> 00:13:43,859 - I wouldn't hold your breath. - Oh, I will. 156 00:13:45,002 --> 00:13:47,869 What happened to all your little girlfriends? 157 00:13:48,005 --> 00:13:50,667 They're mere bodies, laying a path to you. 158 00:14:25,443 --> 00:14:26,910 Sorry, guys. 159 00:14:30,848 --> 00:14:35,046 God, it's like a bar mitzvah in there. Did you see that room? 160 00:14:35,953 --> 00:14:39,480 You should just have a ''bring your own bottle...'' 161 00:14:40,224 --> 00:14:41,418 I'm sorry. 162 00:14:43,928 --> 00:14:46,726 - You look stunning, sweetheart. - Thank you, Mom. 163 00:14:46,864 --> 00:14:49,697 Now if we could just find your groom. 164 00:14:54,405 --> 00:14:57,499 - That's funny, isn't it? - What's funny? 165 00:14:57,642 --> 00:15:01,078 I don't know, just the way he's standing there like that. 166 00:15:01,212 --> 00:15:02,543 What's funny about it? 167 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:06,172 OK, maybe funny is the wrong word, but... strange. It's... 168 00:15:06,317 --> 00:15:08,114 It is a little strange, don't you think? 169 00:15:08,252 --> 00:15:10,914 What about it is strange? 170 00:15:11,055 --> 00:15:14,991 The way he's staring out to sea like a lovesick sailor. 171 00:15:15,126 --> 00:15:17,253 - He's a groom. Grooms get nervous. - Of course. 172 00:15:17,395 --> 00:15:19,158 Mother, please don't. 173 00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:25,560 - You know what I think. - Yes, I know what you think. 174 00:15:25,703 --> 00:15:29,264 And... perhaps you'll permit me to say it. 175 00:15:29,407 --> 00:15:31,875 I know you will, regardless. 176 00:15:33,611 --> 00:15:35,806 He has to love you more, Lila. 177 00:15:36,914 --> 00:15:38,279 More than what? 178 00:15:41,786 --> 00:15:43,185 More than whom? 179 00:15:46,057 --> 00:15:48,389 More than you love him. 180 00:15:48,526 --> 00:15:50,790 That's the only way marriage works. 181 00:15:50,928 --> 00:15:52,327 Leave him alone. 182 00:16:05,776 --> 00:16:07,107 How's Augusta? 183 00:16:07,244 --> 00:16:09,644 She'll be fine after a couple of cocktails. 184 00:16:33,871 --> 00:16:37,272 Tom McDevon is quite a catch. 185 00:16:37,408 --> 00:16:41,071 Summa graduate, championship swimmer, 186 00:16:41,212 --> 00:16:44,443 PhD candidate in English, 187 00:16:44,582 --> 00:16:47,073 rather easy on the eyes. 188 00:16:48,452 --> 00:16:51,387 So let's raise our glasses to two perfect catches: 189 00:16:51,522 --> 00:16:54,719 Perfect catch, perfect match. 190 00:16:56,494 --> 00:16:59,520 - There goes the bloodline. - That's enough for you. 191 00:17:04,268 --> 00:17:07,431 When Tommy told me he was marrying the lovely Lila, 192 00:17:07,571 --> 00:17:12,634 I said... ''Tommy boy, you're one lucky son of a bitch!'' 193 00:17:14,678 --> 00:17:16,976 And I said, ''You know, 194 00:17:17,114 --> 00:17:21,312 attraction is a very important ingredient in any relationship.'' 195 00:17:22,286 --> 00:17:25,278 Sure, folks can talk all they want about love and loyalty 196 00:17:25,422 --> 00:17:29,051 and all that other shit, but the important thing is... 197 00:17:29,193 --> 00:17:32,219 if she doesn't make your wiener hard... 198 00:17:33,464 --> 00:17:35,398 ...forget it! Forget it all! 199 00:17:35,533 --> 00:17:38,661 What are you doing? What are you doing? No, I... 200 00:17:38,803 --> 00:17:40,566 Let's face it. 201 00:17:40,704 --> 00:17:43,571 My sister is perfect. 202 00:17:45,276 --> 00:17:46,709 Everyone here knows it. 203 00:17:48,312 --> 00:17:51,873 If you're a chick, you've spent your life fighting the urge 204 00:17:52,016 --> 00:17:54,541 to kill her in her sleep. 205 00:17:54,685 --> 00:17:59,122 If you're a guy, you've spent your life trying to sleep with her. 206 00:18:00,257 --> 00:18:04,125 - Admit it, Jake. Admit it. - You admit it. 207 00:18:04,261 --> 00:18:06,855 Don't worry, Weesie, he never got anywhere. 208 00:18:13,671 --> 00:18:14,695 Mom... 209 00:18:14,839 --> 00:18:16,272 ...Dad. 210 00:18:16,407 --> 00:18:19,808 I know it's been hard to embrace the new in-laws. 211 00:18:20,411 --> 00:18:22,003 But don't worry. 212 00:18:22,146 --> 00:18:26,845 We only have to spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with them... 213 00:18:26,984 --> 00:18:30,283 ...every year for the rest of our lives. 214 00:18:38,562 --> 00:18:41,793 Wait... do lrish people 215 00:18:41,932 --> 00:18:45,265 celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah? 216 00:18:50,908 --> 00:18:53,433 ''The lovely Lila sat on a wall 217 00:18:53,577 --> 00:18:57,411 When she saw Tom McDevon, her heart had a fall 218 00:18:57,548 --> 00:19:00,244 He rode in on his horse and picked up the pieces 219 00:19:00,384 --> 00:19:03,046 Until that day, she had felt like feces.'' 220 00:19:03,988 --> 00:19:08,482 As everybody knows, Tom is unmatched in the swimming pool. 221 00:19:08,626 --> 00:19:12,460 As everyone also knows, Tom is unmatched on the tennis court. 222 00:19:12,596 --> 00:19:14,655 But I don't think enough is said 223 00:19:14,798 --> 00:19:19,292 about what a truly kind and generous man Tom really is. 224 00:19:19,436 --> 00:19:24,703 Many of you may not know this, but I was only point two seconds 225 00:19:24,842 --> 00:19:28,642 behind Tom McDevon in the breast stroke, 226 00:19:28,779 --> 00:19:31,145 our personal favorite stroke. 227 00:19:32,917 --> 00:19:35,784 ''Athletic and smart, kind and charming, 228 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,253 Tom McDevon was one disarming... dude.'' 229 00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:42,223 So I was like, ''Jake, where's Tom?'' He's like, ''I don't know.'' 230 00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:44,657 And I was like, ''Pete, where's Tom?'' He's like, ''I don't know.'' 231 00:19:44,795 --> 00:19:48,993 And we were just like... But nobody knew where he was. 232 00:19:49,133 --> 00:19:53,968 And I still maintain that he put rufies in my Gatorade... 233 00:19:56,173 --> 00:19:58,767 ...and touched me inappropriately under the water. 234 00:19:59,576 --> 00:20:00,600 That was me. 235 00:20:00,744 --> 00:20:02,871 - That was you? - Such a good story. 236 00:20:03,013 --> 00:20:06,176 I love that one, so... But, OK, so one more... 237 00:20:06,317 --> 00:20:09,878 Here's to that lucky lady, here's to Tom. 238 00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:11,681 I love you both, and... 239 00:20:11,822 --> 00:20:15,087 ''And should that egg meet a sperm and turn into a baby, 240 00:20:15,225 --> 00:20:19,218 count on me as a sitter. I will always say, 'maybe'.'' 241 00:20:19,363 --> 00:20:20,625 Cheers. 242 00:20:34,878 --> 00:20:36,607 Lila... 243 00:20:36,747 --> 00:20:38,214 ...is... 244 00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:43,853 ...graced with beauty and... 245 00:20:43,988 --> 00:20:45,785 ...intelligence and... 246 00:20:47,157 --> 00:20:48,419 ...determination. 247 00:20:49,693 --> 00:20:53,629 Lila and I were roommates in college. 248 00:20:53,764 --> 00:20:57,256 I was from the Midwest, she was from the East Coast. 249 00:20:59,003 --> 00:21:01,335 My first memory is... 250 00:21:02,272 --> 00:21:06,038 ...we were both on Old Campus 251 00:21:06,176 --> 00:21:10,442 in line for our college lDs and freshmen... 252 00:21:12,883 --> 00:21:16,410 And all of a sudden, this stranger comes up to me and says: 253 00:21:16,553 --> 00:21:19,989 ''You know we're gonna have these lDs for the rest of the year, right?'' 254 00:21:20,124 --> 00:21:23,651 And, I said, ''Yes.'' And she goes, ''Well, didn't you bring your makeup?'' 255 00:21:25,029 --> 00:21:29,625 So, when she painted me up with Lancome's best, I... 256 00:21:29,767 --> 00:21:32,065 I knew we were gonna be... 257 00:21:33,971 --> 00:21:35,666 ...good friends. 258 00:21:37,808 --> 00:21:41,801 And, yet, it was touch and go at first, 259 00:21:41,945 --> 00:21:46,848 but we realized that our differences 260 00:21:46,984 --> 00:21:48,815 made us stronger, you know? We... 261 00:21:50,921 --> 00:21:56,791 We got the nickname ''La-la'' because we loved each other. 262 00:21:56,927 --> 00:21:59,088 And we loved our friends. 263 00:21:59,229 --> 00:22:02,665 Our friends got the nickname, ''The Romantics.'' 264 00:22:06,370 --> 00:22:08,770 Because of our incestuous dating history. 265 00:22:14,611 --> 00:22:16,772 We were just... 266 00:22:16,914 --> 00:22:18,677 ...in love with each other. 267 00:22:18,816 --> 00:22:22,081 Because that's what friends do. They... 268 00:22:22,219 --> 00:22:24,380 ...they fall in love with each other. 269 00:22:25,956 --> 00:22:27,480 And... 270 00:22:29,093 --> 00:22:32,221 ...then they fall out of love and... 271 00:22:32,362 --> 00:22:35,160 ...they fall back in love and this happens over and over again 272 00:22:35,299 --> 00:22:37,494 for the rest of their lives. 273 00:22:39,536 --> 00:22:42,027 The fact that Tom and Laura... 274 00:22:49,947 --> 00:22:50,971 The fact that... 275 00:22:53,650 --> 00:22:56,710 Tom and Lila found each other is... 276 00:22:58,655 --> 00:23:01,419 ...exceptional because they're both... 277 00:23:02,493 --> 00:23:04,017 ...exceptional people. 278 00:23:04,161 --> 00:23:08,791 And I wish them all of the joy in the world. 279 00:23:11,101 --> 00:23:13,729 To their glittering future. 280 00:23:13,871 --> 00:23:16,499 Hear, hear. Glittering future. 281 00:23:25,149 --> 00:23:26,480 Did I seem nervous? 282 00:23:26,950 --> 00:23:28,281 No. 283 00:23:29,820 --> 00:23:30,946 No. 284 00:23:31,588 --> 00:23:35,615 - You were great. - You were really... great. 285 00:23:59,983 --> 00:24:02,417 Wait! Lila! 286 00:24:04,555 --> 00:24:06,716 You didn't think you could escape that easy, did ya? 287 00:24:06,857 --> 00:24:09,621 Come on, Lila, just stay for one more drink. 288 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:13,025 No, I need hours, maybe days of silence. 289 00:24:13,830 --> 00:24:15,263 Boring. 290 00:24:15,399 --> 00:24:18,266 But, I'll see you guys at midnight, right? 291 00:24:19,836 --> 00:24:20,962 Remember? 292 00:24:21,104 --> 00:24:23,231 You guys said you'd come tuck me in? 293 00:24:23,373 --> 00:24:24,601 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah... 294 00:24:25,509 --> 00:24:28,478 - Remind the others, OK? - OK. 295 00:24:28,612 --> 00:24:30,341 See ya at midnight. 296 00:24:41,992 --> 00:24:45,587 Hey, do you have any of those, like, tropical umbrellas... 297 00:24:45,729 --> 00:24:46,991 ...I can put in...? 298 00:24:47,130 --> 00:24:49,291 For like a... 299 00:24:50,100 --> 00:24:52,295 Oh, are you kidding me? 300 00:24:52,436 --> 00:24:53,835 It's free, it's open... 301 00:24:53,971 --> 00:24:55,962 - It's open bar. - Nothing's free. 302 00:25:01,912 --> 00:25:03,140 Hey! 303 00:25:04,514 --> 00:25:07,210 Hey, come back here! 304 00:25:07,351 --> 00:25:09,080 Come back here, you kids! 305 00:25:10,787 --> 00:25:11,913 Oh, my God! 306 00:26:39,209 --> 00:26:41,769 Movement to go skinny dipping! 307 00:26:41,912 --> 00:26:44,142 - Would you stop it? - You always do that! 308 00:26:44,281 --> 00:26:47,444 I guarantee he wants to see one more piece of ass before his wedding day! 309 00:26:47,584 --> 00:26:49,916 I think he got his fill at the bachelor party! 310 00:26:50,053 --> 00:26:52,521 OK, yeah, yeah. That's right. 311 00:26:52,656 --> 00:26:55,523 I spent half the night trying to pull your ass out of the champagne room. 312 00:26:55,659 --> 00:26:58,423 Yeah, no... Explain that to her! 313 00:26:58,562 --> 00:27:00,393 Tell me right now, do I need to divorce my husband? 314 00:27:00,530 --> 00:27:01,724 - You're a pussy. - Sadly, no. 315 00:27:01,865 --> 00:27:03,492 No, none of the strippers would have him. 316 00:27:03,633 --> 00:27:05,260 God knows I tried. 317 00:27:05,402 --> 00:27:07,302 You dirty rat! 318 00:27:07,437 --> 00:27:08,699 Get outta here! 319 00:27:11,775 --> 00:27:13,709 You got my suit all wet! 320 00:27:13,844 --> 00:27:15,573 He can't run for shit! 321 00:27:17,180 --> 00:27:18,306 Come on, guys. 322 00:27:37,734 --> 00:27:38,723 Hey. 323 00:27:40,537 --> 00:27:42,402 I liked your speech. 324 00:27:44,341 --> 00:27:46,366 - Thank you. - I did. It was good. 325 00:27:46,510 --> 00:27:48,637 You were a little nervous, but it was good. 326 00:27:50,881 --> 00:27:53,714 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 327 00:27:59,322 --> 00:28:00,789 Look, I'm sorry. 328 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:04,850 It's OK. It was necessary. 329 00:28:06,897 --> 00:28:08,990 Yeah, it was for the best. 330 00:28:09,900 --> 00:28:11,197 You know what? 331 00:28:14,271 --> 00:28:16,501 It was easier than I thought it was gonna be. 332 00:28:21,011 --> 00:28:22,706 Really? 333 00:28:24,614 --> 00:28:28,641 Really, because I thought it was... I thought it was harder than I... 334 00:28:31,788 --> 00:28:34,416 It was harder than I thought it was gonna be. 335 00:28:39,129 --> 00:28:40,687 So you miss me? 336 00:28:44,367 --> 00:28:45,994 Not for a second. 337 00:29:01,251 --> 00:29:02,445 Mom? 338 00:29:03,153 --> 00:29:04,245 It's me. 339 00:29:04,387 --> 00:29:06,082 Hi. 340 00:29:07,157 --> 00:29:08,454 Something wrong? 341 00:29:09,860 --> 00:29:11,919 Just nervous, I guess. 342 00:29:13,063 --> 00:29:15,031 What are you nervous about? 343 00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:19,435 You know... nothing. 344 00:29:20,637 --> 00:29:22,104 Everything. 345 00:29:23,273 --> 00:29:26,674 I'm nervous Mom's gonna go psycho after the wedding. 346 00:29:26,810 --> 00:29:29,074 You know how she gets when she finishes a project, 347 00:29:29,212 --> 00:29:31,043 all up in your grill and shit. 348 00:29:31,181 --> 00:29:33,206 ''Up in your grill and shit?'' 349 00:29:35,552 --> 00:29:38,612 I just don't want the attention, I guess. 350 00:29:38,755 --> 00:29:40,518 I think you'll be spared. 351 00:29:44,594 --> 00:29:48,030 What about you? Are you nervous? 352 00:29:52,135 --> 00:29:54,228 I'm terrified. 353 00:29:54,738 --> 00:29:56,137 You are? 354 00:29:56,273 --> 00:30:01,074 - Yep. To the bone. - About what? 355 00:30:01,211 --> 00:30:03,042 I'm not sure... 356 00:30:03,179 --> 00:30:04,578 Tom can... 357 00:30:06,249 --> 00:30:07,614 I'm... 358 00:30:07,751 --> 00:30:11,084 I'm not sure Tom... I'm not sure Tom is... 359 00:30:11,221 --> 00:30:13,246 Not sure Tom is what? 360 00:30:16,059 --> 00:30:19,187 I'm... I'm just not... 361 00:30:19,329 --> 00:30:20,694 ...sure. 362 00:30:21,698 --> 00:30:23,791 Does he make you feel beautiful? 363 00:30:24,601 --> 00:30:26,159 Yes. 364 00:30:26,303 --> 00:30:30,706 - Does he make you feel safe? - Most of the time. 365 00:30:31,608 --> 00:30:34,975 - Does he make you feel special? - Don't be a dork. 366 00:30:35,111 --> 00:30:36,100 You know... 367 00:30:36,246 --> 00:30:38,578 ...like you're his most interesting person. 368 00:30:38,715 --> 00:30:42,378 Yes, yes. He does. 369 00:30:42,519 --> 00:30:44,282 You know what? This is... this is dumb. 370 00:30:44,421 --> 00:30:45,615 Let's just forget it. 371 00:30:49,426 --> 00:30:50,586 OK, OK, OK, OK! 372 00:30:50,727 --> 00:30:52,786 - OK, OK. - I say we vote on 373 00:30:52,929 --> 00:30:54,760 who had the best toast of the night. 374 00:30:54,898 --> 00:30:57,526 - And I'm gonna say... me. - No! 375 00:30:57,667 --> 00:30:58,929 - What?! - Me. 376 00:30:59,069 --> 00:31:02,095 Chip won. And Grandpa McDevon came in second. 377 00:31:02,238 --> 00:31:05,173 Oh, my God, that was amazing. 378 00:31:06,076 --> 00:31:08,943 All right, guys. I'm going in. 379 00:31:09,079 --> 00:31:10,603 - Do it! Who's coming with me? - Yeah! 380 00:31:10,747 --> 00:31:12,146 It's freezing, baby. 381 00:31:14,117 --> 00:31:16,381 - Yeah? - Go masturbate in your room, Chip. 382 00:31:16,519 --> 00:31:18,487 Oh, come on. Have some respect! This is our host. 383 00:31:18,622 --> 00:31:21,955 Keep your clothes on. You big slut. 384 00:31:22,592 --> 00:31:25,152 Hey, Tom, you didn't make a speech tonight. 385 00:31:26,229 --> 00:31:28,094 Yeah, dude, you've been suspiciously quiet. 386 00:31:28,231 --> 00:31:31,257 - Are you scared of Augusta? - No, I was just having too much fun 387 00:31:31,401 --> 00:31:33,460 watching you guys make asses of yourself. 388 00:31:34,204 --> 00:31:35,728 Yeah. 389 00:31:35,872 --> 00:31:37,305 Well, how about giving one now? 390 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:38,668 Yeah! 391 00:31:38,808 --> 00:31:41,174 - Speech, speech... - All right. 392 00:31:41,311 --> 00:31:42,642 I'll give you a speech. 393 00:31:42,779 --> 00:31:45,612 All right! I'll give a speech. OK... 394 00:31:47,217 --> 00:31:49,549 - This better not suck. - I'm gonna get on my stage over here. 395 00:31:49,686 --> 00:31:53,213 Right here. OK... All right. 396 00:31:53,356 --> 00:31:55,449 You want a speech? I'll give you a speech. 397 00:31:55,592 --> 00:31:56,889 - Speech! - Let's hear it! 398 00:31:57,027 --> 00:31:58,551 - All right! - Make it good! 399 00:31:58,695 --> 00:32:00,026 Don't be boring. 400 00:32:00,163 --> 00:32:03,564 As I gaze at this assembly of friends and family 401 00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:07,534 on this momentous occasion, only one thing comes to mind... 402 00:32:10,140 --> 00:32:12,438 - We are all so messed up. - Hey! 403 00:32:12,575 --> 00:32:14,543 - Speak for yourself! - I'm awesome! 404 00:32:14,678 --> 00:32:17,272 OK, OK, OK... Let me start this again. 405 00:32:19,382 --> 00:32:21,612 We are all so... 406 00:32:23,486 --> 00:32:25,681 ...uninspired. 407 00:32:26,423 --> 00:32:32,328 Uninspired. We're so blind to the tiny, beautiful things. 408 00:32:32,896 --> 00:32:35,091 I saw Jake's tiny beautiful thing. 409 00:32:35,231 --> 00:32:37,961 No, I'm talking about the tiny beautiful things 410 00:32:38,101 --> 00:32:40,194 that make life worth living. 411 00:32:40,336 --> 00:32:42,327 Right? Like you, Weesie. 412 00:32:43,373 --> 00:32:45,136 - Weesie? - The way you were walking across 413 00:32:45,275 --> 00:32:48,210 the grass before the rehearsal. It was beautiful. 414 00:32:49,446 --> 00:32:51,778 Or how about Chip, after his toast? 415 00:32:51,915 --> 00:32:53,906 The way all the sound just kind of fell out of the room, 416 00:32:54,050 --> 00:32:55,517 and all you could hear were forks on plates. 417 00:32:55,652 --> 00:32:56,846 It was magical. 418 00:32:58,588 --> 00:33:02,183 Or how about the sound as you're driving up to the house here. 419 00:33:03,426 --> 00:33:07,863 It's gravel, grass, ocean. 420 00:33:08,798 --> 00:33:11,892 It's verse, verse, chorus. 421 00:33:12,035 --> 00:33:15,163 Wordsworth! Shelley! McDevon! 422 00:33:15,305 --> 00:33:16,670 McDevon! 423 00:33:19,242 --> 00:33:21,472 The seven of us are friends. 424 00:33:21,611 --> 00:33:24,171 No, the seven of us are family. 425 00:33:24,314 --> 00:33:25,679 We're everything to each other. 426 00:33:26,616 --> 00:33:30,052 Sister, brothers, mother... 427 00:33:30,820 --> 00:33:34,483 ...nurse, shrink, opponent, rival. 428 00:33:34,624 --> 00:33:37,684 We share a history, and we share a goal... 429 00:33:38,928 --> 00:33:41,863 ...to inspire and to be inspired. 430 00:33:43,233 --> 00:33:46,760 That, my friends, that's imperative. 431 00:33:46,903 --> 00:33:48,996 And without that... 432 00:33:51,641 --> 00:33:53,734 Without that, we got nothing. 433 00:33:59,415 --> 00:34:00,404 Slow clap. 434 00:34:00,550 --> 00:34:01,983 - Where's the cane? - All right! 435 00:34:02,118 --> 00:34:03,676 - The man is drunk! - Where's the cane? 436 00:34:03,820 --> 00:34:05,082 Where's the gong? 437 00:34:05,221 --> 00:34:07,212 Seriously, you guys, thank you so much... 438 00:34:07,357 --> 00:34:09,120 Thank you so much for coming. 439 00:34:09,259 --> 00:34:11,523 That's all I got. Sorry I've been such a freak tonight. 440 00:34:11,661 --> 00:34:12,889 Oh, and by the way... 441 00:35:27,003 --> 00:35:28,402 Where did he go? 442 00:36:10,914 --> 00:36:13,610 - Guys, I'm really worried. - Why are you worried? 443 00:36:13,750 --> 00:36:15,615 Because he disappeared in the ocean. 444 00:36:15,752 --> 00:36:18,243 He's probably passed out on the lawn, freaking out about the wedding. 445 00:36:18,388 --> 00:36:20,618 - Cold feet, anyone? - Yeah? 446 00:36:20,757 --> 00:36:22,884 I think we have a fugitive on our hands. 447 00:36:23,026 --> 00:36:24,254 Well, why don't we go look for the guy? 448 00:36:24,394 --> 00:36:26,692 Let's break into pairs, canvass the neighborhood. Yes? 449 00:36:26,829 --> 00:36:28,160 - Yes. - I love it. 450 00:36:28,298 --> 00:36:31,927 - Jake, I like the way you think. - Get over here. 451 00:36:33,102 --> 00:36:34,660 - All right. - All right. 452 00:36:34,804 --> 00:36:38,900 Chip and I have spent a lot of quality time together. 453 00:36:39,042 --> 00:36:40,031 - Come on. - I know, I know. 454 00:36:40,176 --> 00:36:41,404 Why don't we mix it up a bit. 455 00:36:41,544 --> 00:36:43,307 We'll switch partners, like a dinner party. 456 00:36:43,446 --> 00:36:45,209 - A search party dinner party. - OK. 457 00:36:45,348 --> 00:36:47,578 - Dibs on Jake. - Yes. You have such good taste. 458 00:36:47,717 --> 00:36:50,049 - I know. - Fine by me. 459 00:36:50,787 --> 00:36:52,118 Weesie? 460 00:36:56,259 --> 00:36:58,159 Come on, I'm not that bad. 461 00:36:58,294 --> 00:37:00,558 - Come on. - Wait, Lo, Lo, Lo. 462 00:37:00,697 --> 00:37:02,062 We haven't even made the plan yet. 463 00:37:02,198 --> 00:37:03,893 What area should we cover? 464 00:37:04,033 --> 00:37:05,762 - Main house. - We'll cover the main house. 465 00:37:05,902 --> 00:37:09,269 - Perfect... - Lo! Remember! 466 00:37:09,405 --> 00:37:11,771 Ten of midnight, on the porch! 467 00:37:11,908 --> 00:37:13,808 We promised Lila! 468 00:37:14,844 --> 00:37:17,244 - What? - It's your lucky night. 469 00:37:23,152 --> 00:37:26,918 OK, so, wait. If you were Tom, where would you be? 470 00:37:27,056 --> 00:37:30,685 Doing my crunches. Yeah? 471 00:37:30,827 --> 00:37:32,920 OK, yeah, but after you do your crunches. 472 00:37:33,062 --> 00:37:35,656 I'd do a thousand, but if I was done... 473 00:37:35,798 --> 00:37:37,766 ...I'd probably be in Lila's bed. 474 00:37:39,402 --> 00:37:41,597 - Yes? - You know that's her room, right there. 475 00:37:41,738 --> 00:37:43,797 - Want to take a last shot? - Me? 476 00:37:43,940 --> 00:37:45,908 Why don't you two lez out again, how about that? 477 00:37:46,042 --> 00:37:47,373 I would love to. 478 00:37:50,346 --> 00:37:51,472 Yes. 479 00:37:54,283 --> 00:37:56,945 I really stepped on a rock, hard. 480 00:37:57,754 --> 00:37:58,812 You stepped on a rock? 481 00:37:58,955 --> 00:38:02,254 - Yes. - I like it in here. It's warm. 482 00:38:02,392 --> 00:38:04,326 I love it in here. 483 00:38:06,996 --> 00:38:09,055 - So, hey... - Yeah? 484 00:38:09,198 --> 00:38:11,428 - I saw your movie. - What? 485 00:38:11,567 --> 00:38:13,194 Yeah, I saw the torture one. I saw it. 486 00:38:13,336 --> 00:38:15,236 How? It never even got released. 487 00:38:15,371 --> 00:38:16,702 I know. I downloaded it. 488 00:38:16,839 --> 00:38:18,670 I spend a lot of time on the lnternet. 489 00:38:18,808 --> 00:38:20,708 Yeah, I bet you do. 490 00:38:21,411 --> 00:38:23,140 Wow, that is really embarrassing. 491 00:38:23,279 --> 00:38:25,110 I don't think you should be embarrassed. 492 00:38:25,248 --> 00:38:28,012 I thought you were really good in it. I... You had a really funny line 493 00:38:28,151 --> 00:38:30,881 about not wanting to die a blond. That was good. 494 00:38:31,020 --> 00:38:32,783 - You did? - Yeah. 495 00:38:32,922 --> 00:38:34,822 - I came up with that line. - Really? 496 00:38:34,957 --> 00:38:38,757 - That's great. - Speaking of great lines... 497 00:38:38,895 --> 00:38:41,728 - Are you serious? - Why? What? Yeah. 498 00:38:41,864 --> 00:38:43,525 I don't know. lsn't that a little '80s? 499 00:38:43,666 --> 00:38:46,328 Not when you mix it with Wellbutrin. 500 00:38:46,469 --> 00:38:48,903 'Cause Wellbutrin is... Of course. 501 00:38:49,038 --> 00:38:50,198 Of course. 502 00:38:53,409 --> 00:38:55,434 So we're doing the guesthouse. 503 00:38:56,279 --> 00:38:57,746 Yep. 504 00:39:01,084 --> 00:39:05,748 - You trust him, right? - Who? Jake? Of course. 505 00:39:05,888 --> 00:39:09,483 Good. 'Cause I don't trust Tripler one bit. 506 00:39:15,431 --> 00:39:17,331 Wow. 507 00:39:17,467 --> 00:39:19,765 Hey, you ever think there was something odd about the way 508 00:39:19,902 --> 00:39:21,665 Lila and Tom started dating? 509 00:39:21,804 --> 00:39:23,271 - The way that they started dating? - Yeah. 510 00:39:23,406 --> 00:39:25,931 Remember? It was, like, right after we came up here 511 00:39:26,075 --> 00:39:29,636 for that long weekend. Senior spring, remember? 512 00:39:29,779 --> 00:39:33,044 I mean, don't you think it was kind of odd? An odd coincidence? 513 00:39:33,182 --> 00:39:35,412 Yeah, I don't even know what you're talking about. 514 00:39:35,551 --> 00:39:38,213 He asked her out like three days after we got back. 515 00:39:38,354 --> 00:39:40,447 - Three days. Three days. - Three days, so? 516 00:39:40,590 --> 00:39:43,218 So, never mind that he was dating Laura. 517 00:39:43,359 --> 00:39:44,758 The girls were roommates. 518 00:39:44,894 --> 00:39:46,691 So then you think that Tom started dating Lila 519 00:39:46,829 --> 00:39:49,559 because he coveted her parents' fortune? 520 00:39:50,266 --> 00:39:53,827 OK. You just made that sound like an episode of Dynasty. 521 00:39:53,970 --> 00:39:55,460 - But that's what you're saying, right? - No. 522 00:39:55,605 --> 00:39:57,470 - I'm just noting the dates. - You're an idiot. 523 00:39:57,607 --> 00:39:59,074 I'm not an idiot. I'm just saying. 524 00:39:59,208 --> 00:40:01,335 You're just saying something really shitty about our friend. 525 00:40:01,477 --> 00:40:04,708 I'm just saying that I think Lila's lifestyle appealed to Tom 526 00:40:04,847 --> 00:40:06,838 just like Lila's perfect tits appeal to you. 527 00:40:06,983 --> 00:40:09,747 Oh, I'm sure those appeal to Tom as well. 528 00:40:22,398 --> 00:40:25,629 - He's not here. - No. Doesn't seem to be. 529 00:40:28,671 --> 00:40:32,232 - Where do you think he is? - That's a very good question. 530 00:40:32,375 --> 00:40:35,139 That's one I need a drink to consider. 531 00:40:42,451 --> 00:40:44,885 This must be really hard for you. 532 00:40:46,589 --> 00:40:49,786 You drive halfway to the North Pole 533 00:40:49,926 --> 00:40:51,416 to watch the love of your life 534 00:40:51,561 --> 00:40:53,028 marry the bane of your existence. 535 00:40:53,162 --> 00:40:54,686 And this is how they thank you? 536 00:40:54,830 --> 00:40:56,695 Honestly, Chip, I'm not in the mood. 537 00:40:56,832 --> 00:41:02,236 It's ironic. Asking you, of all people, to convince the groom 538 00:41:02,371 --> 00:41:04,271 to show up for this wedding. 539 00:41:05,675 --> 00:41:08,508 I wish I could be there for the reunion. 540 00:41:08,644 --> 00:41:11,613 ''Oh, Tom. I thought you were lost.'' 541 00:41:11,747 --> 00:41:15,376 ''Oh, Laura! I was! Until I found you.'' 542 00:41:15,518 --> 00:41:18,919 Aren't you supposed to be wearing some sort of ankle bracelet now? 543 00:41:19,589 --> 00:41:20,988 That's funny! 544 00:41:21,123 --> 00:41:24,024 No, they just made me do some community service. 545 00:41:24,694 --> 00:41:27,094 Ankle bracelet! 546 00:41:27,230 --> 00:41:30,688 I'm gonna keep going and see if he overshot the house. 547 00:41:30,833 --> 00:41:32,061 Goodnight! 548 00:41:33,903 --> 00:41:35,734 You're not worried? 549 00:41:35,871 --> 00:41:39,932 Not at all. Wedding day jitters is a universal affliction. 550 00:41:40,076 --> 00:41:41,941 Did you freak out the night before your wedding? 551 00:41:42,078 --> 00:41:45,570 Yeah. I spent the night before my wedding in a closet. 552 00:41:46,282 --> 00:41:48,682 Of course, Tripler locked me in it. 553 00:41:50,820 --> 00:41:53,948 - Darn. - I hope Laura's OK. 554 00:41:54,090 --> 00:41:57,116 - She's fine. - Chip was kind of a nightmare. 555 00:41:57,260 --> 00:42:00,229 No worse than usual. 556 00:42:00,363 --> 00:42:02,228 And you don't think we should tell Lila? 557 00:42:02,365 --> 00:42:03,764 Why worry her for no reason? 558 00:42:03,899 --> 00:42:06,265 God, I could have sworn I got another bottle. 559 00:42:06,402 --> 00:42:07,801 God. 560 00:42:16,912 --> 00:42:20,245 Where are you hiding from me? 561 00:42:24,687 --> 00:42:26,154 Jackpot. 562 00:42:28,791 --> 00:42:31,123 So when's the big date again? 563 00:42:31,260 --> 00:42:33,820 We haven't quite figured that out yet. 564 00:42:33,963 --> 00:42:36,193 - You excited? - Very. 565 00:42:36,966 --> 00:42:38,524 You scared? 566 00:42:38,668 --> 00:42:41,193 No, I figure I know what I'm in for. 567 00:42:41,337 --> 00:42:43,328 We've been together for almost ten years. 568 00:42:44,340 --> 00:42:45,739 Are we that old? 569 00:42:45,875 --> 00:42:47,968 And besides, if you and Trip are any indication, 570 00:42:48,110 --> 00:42:49,907 married life is bliss. 571 00:42:51,647 --> 00:42:53,808 You do have a sense of humor! 572 00:42:57,853 --> 00:43:00,083 To your glittering future. 573 00:43:01,524 --> 00:43:03,424 To your glittering future. 574 00:43:03,559 --> 00:43:06,119 - To our glittering futures. - To our... yeah. 575 00:43:12,034 --> 00:43:13,695 To... 576 00:43:14,970 --> 00:43:16,767 I'm already regretting this. 577 00:43:16,906 --> 00:43:18,965 You're dancing on the coke. 578 00:43:19,108 --> 00:43:21,167 You can never regret the dancing. Ever. 579 00:43:21,310 --> 00:43:23,471 - All right, how do you wanna dance? - Show me your dance moves. 580 00:43:23,612 --> 00:43:25,807 - Show me your dance moves. - All right, well, it's a Kid 'N Play. 581 00:43:25,948 --> 00:43:28,178 - Oh, my God! - And that's the start, 582 00:43:28,317 --> 00:43:30,012 - but there's more. - I can't believe you can do that. 583 00:43:30,152 --> 00:43:31,744 - I can do a lot of things. - Do it again. 584 00:43:31,887 --> 00:43:34,355 - I don't wanna do it again because... - Just do it one more time. 585 00:43:34,490 --> 00:43:36,958 - You won't be as impressed anymore. - That is so cool. 586 00:43:37,093 --> 00:43:38,492 I really, really loved it. 587 00:43:43,766 --> 00:43:45,893 Hey, hey, hey, Laura! 588 00:43:56,512 --> 00:43:58,377 I should go and let everyone know that you're OK. 589 00:43:58,514 --> 00:44:01,210 Laura, just come here for a minute. Just come here. 590 00:44:05,721 --> 00:44:08,315 - We've been really worried about you. - Please, just... 591 00:44:11,026 --> 00:44:12,516 Don't go. 592 00:44:18,701 --> 00:44:20,225 Nobody knows that I'm out here. 593 00:44:22,104 --> 00:44:23,093 Exactly. 594 00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:25,605 Yeah, nobody knows that you're out here. 595 00:44:25,741 --> 00:44:27,106 What's your point? 596 00:44:29,945 --> 00:44:32,573 I don't... maybe we can just hang out for a minute. 597 00:44:34,850 --> 00:44:36,943 Nobody's gonna know the difference. 598 00:45:24,066 --> 00:45:25,829 Why are you here? 599 00:45:27,336 --> 00:45:30,635 I don't know. Just thought that I would swim halfway across the bay 600 00:45:30,773 --> 00:45:32,798 at the chance to be alone with you. 601 00:45:33,876 --> 00:45:36,367 - You're so full of it. - I'm totally serious. 602 00:45:40,516 --> 00:45:43,178 So, you excited about tomorrow? 603 00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:45,277 Yeah. 604 00:45:46,088 --> 00:45:48,921 - What's your song? - My song? 605 00:45:49,058 --> 00:45:51,788 Your wedding song? Your first dance at your wedding. 606 00:45:52,394 --> 00:45:55,488 I don't know. Lila picked it. 607 00:45:57,533 --> 00:45:59,467 Well, you're gonna have to dance anyway. You realize this. 608 00:45:59,602 --> 00:46:02,901 - And everyone will be watching. - Yeah, well, I can hold my own. 609 00:46:03,038 --> 00:46:04,471 - Yeah? - Yeah. 610 00:46:04,607 --> 00:46:07,838 - Well, let's see it. - Well... 611 00:46:07,977 --> 00:46:09,239 You... 612 00:46:11,847 --> 00:46:13,144 OK. 613 00:46:20,623 --> 00:46:21,612 No. 614 00:46:21,757 --> 00:46:23,019 - No? - No. 615 00:46:24,727 --> 00:46:26,422 Maybe you should show me. 616 00:46:26,562 --> 00:46:28,462 You're gonna teach me something. 617 00:46:29,632 --> 00:46:30,724 Come on. 618 00:46:35,938 --> 00:46:37,963 So, what do I do? 619 00:46:39,775 --> 00:46:42,175 Try not to step on her feet. 620 00:46:42,311 --> 00:46:45,838 Yeah, might annoy Augusta a little bit. 621 00:46:48,150 --> 00:46:51,642 And try not to let her lead too much. You don't want to make it obvious. 622 00:46:51,787 --> 00:46:52,981 OK. 623 00:47:16,645 --> 00:47:18,943 I owe you an apology. 624 00:47:19,915 --> 00:47:22,440 It's OK, let's not talk about it. 625 00:47:30,993 --> 00:47:31,891 So, you... 626 00:47:32,695 --> 00:47:34,424 You forgive me? 627 00:47:35,965 --> 00:47:38,297 I wouldn't push your luck. 628 00:47:41,337 --> 00:47:43,771 You know, a heads up would've been nice. 629 00:47:46,775 --> 00:47:50,472 You know, nothing... Nothing major, just... 630 00:47:52,047 --> 00:47:53,912 Just a quick email. You know, ''Hey, Laura. 631 00:47:54,049 --> 00:47:55,880 I know I saw you last night 632 00:47:56,018 --> 00:47:58,111 and countless others over the last ten years, 633 00:47:58,253 --> 00:48:01,313 and not excluding the four years we dated in college 634 00:48:01,457 --> 00:48:03,015 and the year that we got back together 635 00:48:03,158 --> 00:48:06,753 to try again and the handful of times that we've slept together since... 636 00:48:08,464 --> 00:48:11,524 ...but you know that Lila and I are together now. 637 00:48:11,667 --> 00:48:14,329 And though I've struggled endlessly with this predicament, 638 00:48:14,470 --> 00:48:17,132 I think we both know the inevitable here, so don't be surprised 639 00:48:17,272 --> 00:48:20,400 when she calls and asks you to be her maid of honor.'' 640 00:48:20,542 --> 00:48:21,804 Or, you know what? 641 00:48:21,944 --> 00:48:25,345 This is another approach: Less direct, but same effect. 642 00:48:25,481 --> 00:48:27,574 ''Hey, Laura. Great seeing you last night. 643 00:48:27,716 --> 00:48:31,117 Great movie, great meal, great sex, but the problem is... 644 00:48:33,122 --> 00:48:35,181 ...greatness makes me sick. 645 00:48:36,492 --> 00:48:38,016 I'll see you at the wedding.'' 646 00:48:41,430 --> 00:48:43,557 You know, on the other hand, I mean... 647 00:48:43,699 --> 00:48:47,499 Look, ten years of a loving friendship and... 648 00:48:47,636 --> 00:48:49,797 ...sporadic, incredible sex... 649 00:48:50,506 --> 00:48:52,633 ...scattered with nights... 650 00:48:55,678 --> 00:49:00,115 ...so fun, they explain the evolutionary purpose of talking. 651 00:49:00,249 --> 00:49:03,218 You know, not to mention the time that we've clocked together. 652 00:49:05,754 --> 00:49:09,190 Listening to music. You know, driving with... 653 00:49:10,125 --> 00:49:12,559 ...no destination. 654 00:49:14,697 --> 00:49:16,528 I guess this, this... 655 00:49:16,665 --> 00:49:20,260 ...beautiful mess is best ended without notification. 656 00:49:21,737 --> 00:49:23,398 Probably better. 657 00:49:27,676 --> 00:49:29,268 I'm sorry. 658 00:49:32,081 --> 00:49:35,380 Don't be. It was a gift. 659 00:49:36,251 --> 00:49:38,412 An act of cowardice so complete, 660 00:49:38,554 --> 00:49:40,818 disqualifies a person from consideration. 661 00:49:40,956 --> 00:49:44,153 I tried to do what I thought was right, OK? 662 00:49:46,028 --> 00:49:47,859 It's not like I came at this lightly. 663 00:49:47,996 --> 00:49:51,432 - Oh, no. - Laura. 664 00:49:52,434 --> 00:49:53,901 You're the one that broke up with me. 665 00:49:54,036 --> 00:49:55,435 Fuck you. 666 00:49:57,306 --> 00:50:00,366 - Laura, we were seniors in college. - Don't even start. 667 00:50:00,509 --> 00:50:01,567 What did you want to do? 668 00:50:01,710 --> 00:50:03,678 Get married at 21 ? 669 00:50:03,812 --> 00:50:06,042 - What is this, 1 950? - No, it isn't. 670 00:50:06,181 --> 00:50:08,172 We were too far apart. 671 00:50:08,317 --> 00:50:10,148 I was busy trying to finish my dissertation, 672 00:50:10,285 --> 00:50:11,775 practically living in Widener Library. 673 00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:13,751 You were doing God knows what in New York City, 674 00:50:13,889 --> 00:50:15,288 probably fending off all your hipster boyfriends. 675 00:50:15,424 --> 00:50:17,358 Oh, yeah. You know, if you're gonna patronize me, 676 00:50:17,493 --> 00:50:19,791 try to think of something a little more original. 677 00:50:20,529 --> 00:50:23,225 - We gave it a college try. - Yeah, we did. 678 00:50:23,365 --> 00:50:25,560 It was an accident of timing. 679 00:50:25,701 --> 00:50:28,568 What? Let me guess. Your proposal was an accident, too? 680 00:50:28,704 --> 00:50:29,966 You got the wrong woman? 681 00:50:30,105 --> 00:50:31,629 - Give me a freaking break. - You know what? 682 00:50:31,774 --> 00:50:33,401 What difference does it make? 683 00:50:34,109 --> 00:50:35,838 Just stop talking. 684 00:50:35,978 --> 00:50:39,038 Yeah, you know, I think that would be a really good idea. 685 00:50:39,848 --> 00:50:42,373 Come here. Listen to me. 686 00:50:45,554 --> 00:50:47,545 I was a lifeguard in high school, you remember that? 687 00:50:47,689 --> 00:50:49,850 - Yeah, I remember. - It was my favorite summer job. 688 00:50:49,992 --> 00:50:51,357 You and every other guy in America. 689 00:50:51,493 --> 00:50:53,393 I would sit in that chair itching, 690 00:50:53,529 --> 00:50:56,054 itching to get out, dying to get into the water. 691 00:50:56,198 --> 00:50:58,462 And after eight hours, my shift would end, 692 00:50:58,600 --> 00:50:59,862 and I would make a break for it, 693 00:51:00,002 --> 00:51:02,937 but as soon as I got into the water, the strangest thing happened. 694 00:51:04,339 --> 00:51:05,636 I would start to panic. 695 00:51:05,774 --> 00:51:07,639 Ambivalence is a disease, you know. 696 00:51:07,776 --> 00:51:10,404 - An actual mental illness. - That's not funny. 697 00:51:10,546 --> 00:51:12,776 Let me guess. When you were a kid, you would order chocolate ice cream, 698 00:51:12,915 --> 00:51:14,507 then immediately wished you'd gotten vanilla? 699 00:51:14,650 --> 00:51:15,981 - That's not what I'm talking about. - No, I get it. 700 00:51:16,118 --> 00:51:20,452 - You're torn between two women. - What I'm trying to say is... 701 00:51:28,397 --> 00:51:30,661 I'm afraid of the ocean. 702 00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:40,001 I'll remember that the next time I... 703 00:51:41,577 --> 00:51:43,306 ...I swim on your clock. 704 00:51:46,148 --> 00:51:48,173 You think you have some kind of a special gift 705 00:51:48,317 --> 00:51:50,217 - for knowing what's in my heart, Laura? - No! 706 00:51:50,352 --> 00:51:52,252 No, I think we both do for each other. 707 00:51:52,387 --> 00:51:54,787 Has it ever occurred to you that I might need a woman like Lila? 708 00:51:54,923 --> 00:51:57,016 - And what kind of woman is that? - I don't know. Somebody happy. 709 00:51:57,159 --> 00:51:58,319 - Meaning numb? - Somebody practical. 710 00:51:58,460 --> 00:51:59,688 - Meaning busy. - Somebody confident. 711 00:51:59,828 --> 00:52:00,886 - Meaning rich. Meaning frigid! - Somebody stable. 712 00:52:01,029 --> 00:52:02,189 Somebody who doesn't tear other people down 713 00:52:02,331 --> 00:52:05,528 - just to build herself back up. - ln other words, your polar opposite. 714 00:52:05,667 --> 00:52:07,897 - Yeah. Yeah, maybe. - Well, haven't you heard? 715 00:52:08,036 --> 00:52:12,370 Opposites attract and then they bore each other to death. 716 00:52:12,507 --> 00:52:14,600 You know, boring is better than maddening. 717 00:52:16,178 --> 00:52:17,702 I'd rather die of excitement. 718 00:52:20,449 --> 00:52:22,110 - Hey. - What? 719 00:52:22,251 --> 00:52:24,719 Hey, hey! Hey! 720 00:52:24,853 --> 00:52:27,822 Do you remember that paper, junior year? 721 00:52:27,956 --> 00:52:29,583 Yeah. Of course. 722 00:52:29,725 --> 00:52:32,455 The Hopeless Romantics: Misconceptions of a Movement. 723 00:52:32,594 --> 00:52:35,586 Yeah. Only you could start a 50-page paper the night before... 724 00:52:35,731 --> 00:52:37,858 - And still get an A-minus. - Because I wrote it. 725 00:52:39,968 --> 00:52:41,663 You maybe wrote half of it. 726 00:52:43,705 --> 00:52:47,835 Ode to a Nightingale: A love song to inspiration. 727 00:52:47,976 --> 00:52:49,739 The Romantics weren't writing about love, 728 00:52:49,878 --> 00:52:51,641 they were writing about religion. 729 00:52:51,780 --> 00:52:54,305 Then I'm not sure I know the difference. 730 00:52:57,653 --> 00:52:59,518 ''Forlorn. 731 00:52:59,655 --> 00:53:04,558 The very word is like a bell tolling me back from thee to my sole self.'' 732 00:53:06,995 --> 00:53:09,225 What's the next line? 733 00:53:10,399 --> 00:53:12,230 I can't remember. 734 00:53:14,336 --> 00:53:15,598 Liar. 735 00:53:17,539 --> 00:53:20,007 Anybody can make a big romantic gesture, all right? 736 00:53:20,142 --> 00:53:23,509 The question is: What happens after? 737 00:53:25,647 --> 00:53:27,205 Do you remember? 738 00:53:27,349 --> 00:53:30,147 Do you remember what you said to me that night? 739 00:53:30,285 --> 00:53:33,812 - Yeah, I remember everything. - So what'd you say? 740 00:53:35,857 --> 00:53:38,189 - I said it was the perfect night. - You said it was the perfect night. 741 00:53:38,327 --> 00:53:41,819 - So? - So? How do I top that? 742 00:53:43,498 --> 00:53:45,523 - We had so much fun. - We had so much fun. 743 00:53:45,667 --> 00:53:46,964 So what's the problem with that? 744 00:53:47,102 --> 00:53:49,161 The problem is, every time we had one of these amazing nights, 745 00:53:49,304 --> 00:53:52,705 I would wake up the next morning in a freaking panic. 746 00:53:54,476 --> 00:53:56,103 So why don't we just spare each other 747 00:53:56,244 --> 00:53:57,404 a mundane life of crushing disappointment, 748 00:53:57,546 --> 00:53:59,912 and just do it with somebody else. 749 00:54:00,048 --> 00:54:03,711 That is the weakest excuse I have ever heard. 750 00:54:03,852 --> 00:54:06,082 - Just say you're in love with Lila. - Say what? 751 00:54:06,221 --> 00:54:08,189 Want me to say that I want to marry you? 752 00:54:08,323 --> 00:54:11,815 That I'm gonna spend the next 50 years regretting this very moment? 753 00:54:13,328 --> 00:54:15,558 You inspired me. 754 00:54:18,433 --> 00:54:19,627 You inspired me, too. 755 00:54:19,768 --> 00:54:22,202 Then we were supposed to be together. 756 00:54:26,842 --> 00:54:28,605 I know. 757 00:54:35,517 --> 00:54:39,146 I'm gonna go and I'm gonna... I'm gonna tell everyone that you're OK. 758 00:54:39,287 --> 00:54:40,982 But I'm not. 759 00:54:41,123 --> 00:54:44,957 - I'm not OK. - You chose this. 760 00:56:14,716 --> 00:56:16,877 No! No, you can't! 761 00:56:18,653 --> 00:56:20,985 You're actually a lot of fun. 762 00:56:21,123 --> 00:56:23,887 - Thanks? - Yeah. No. Really. 763 00:56:24,025 --> 00:56:28,086 - You're hilarious. - Your surprise is disturbing. 764 00:56:28,230 --> 00:56:30,391 Well, dude, you just seem like a freaking... 765 00:56:30,532 --> 00:56:32,727 ...about to have a nervous breakdown half the time. 766 00:56:32,868 --> 00:56:34,130 Take a shot. 767 00:56:35,103 --> 00:56:37,367 I'm marrying Jake, for Chrissakes. 768 00:56:37,506 --> 00:56:39,406 That's true. 769 00:56:39,541 --> 00:56:42,977 - It just got hot in here. - Wait, cheers me. 770 00:56:43,111 --> 00:56:44,510 Cheers you. 771 00:56:50,418 --> 00:56:53,012 Hey, this stuff is strong. What did you say you put in it, again? 772 00:56:53,155 --> 00:56:54,986 I just crushed up some of my old Lithium. 773 00:56:55,123 --> 00:56:57,990 - No. - Just joking! 774 00:57:00,061 --> 00:57:02,495 Hey, hey, hey! What was that? 775 00:57:03,632 --> 00:57:05,429 - What? - I heard something. 776 00:57:06,368 --> 00:57:09,895 Right! OK, there's no Tom here. 777 00:57:10,038 --> 00:57:13,337 - Yes, there's not. - So, there goes your theory. 778 00:57:13,475 --> 00:57:15,340 I still say he's in Lila's room. 779 00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:21,981 - Why does everyone seem so happy? - They're not. 780 00:57:22,951 --> 00:57:24,316 - Really? - Yeah. 781 00:57:24,452 --> 00:57:26,579 I mean, Laura's depressed, pretending to be happy. 782 00:57:26,721 --> 00:57:27,710 Yeah. 783 00:57:27,856 --> 00:57:29,585 Weesie's a mess, she pretends to have her shit together. 784 00:57:29,724 --> 00:57:33,421 Pete is a screw-up, pretending to be a success. 785 00:57:34,896 --> 00:57:36,989 And what about you? 786 00:57:37,132 --> 00:57:40,761 I'm, like, a miserable bastard who's pretending to give a shit. 787 00:57:41,903 --> 00:57:42,961 - Wow. - Yeah. 788 00:57:44,005 --> 00:57:47,406 - You had me fooled. - Well, good. 789 00:57:48,810 --> 00:57:50,402 And what am I? 790 00:57:52,814 --> 00:57:55,214 Well, at least you're honest. 791 00:58:39,694 --> 00:58:43,221 - Laura? You're late! - It's me. 792 00:58:45,267 --> 00:58:49,499 - What are you doing here? - We need to talk. 793 00:58:49,638 --> 00:58:54,007 - Honey, I'm superstitious! - Please, just let me in. 794 00:59:07,055 --> 00:59:09,182 What's the matter? Did something happen? 795 00:59:11,326 --> 00:59:13,317 You're having a pre-wedding panic attack? 796 00:59:13,461 --> 00:59:15,827 Don't patronize me, OK? 797 00:59:19,701 --> 00:59:23,330 - Lila, I love you. - I love you, too. 798 00:59:23,471 --> 00:59:25,871 Yeah, but why? 799 00:59:26,007 --> 00:59:30,137 'Cause you're smart. And charming and handsome. 800 00:59:30,278 --> 00:59:32,838 And you make me feel safe and happy. 801 00:59:32,981 --> 00:59:34,175 And, when I'm with you, 802 00:59:34,316 --> 00:59:37,979 even the most tedious things are fun and exciting. 803 00:59:38,119 --> 00:59:40,212 And you're a very good kisser. 804 00:59:40,355 --> 00:59:42,619 - Thank you. - It's true. 805 00:59:44,225 --> 00:59:45,624 Why do you love me? 806 00:59:51,433 --> 00:59:53,993 That's the thing. I don't... 807 00:59:54,135 --> 00:59:58,663 - I don't know. - I'm sorry. What? 808 01:00:03,311 --> 01:00:05,973 I'm so confused right now, I... 809 01:00:06,114 --> 01:00:09,413 - You're not doing this now. - Why not now? 810 01:00:09,551 --> 01:00:13,078 - lsn't now better than later? - OK. 811 01:00:13,221 --> 01:00:17,123 I'll tell you why you love me. Because you need me. 812 01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:20,590 - We're so different. - Yes, we are. 813 01:00:20,729 --> 01:00:22,993 And when you're not behaving like a total freak, 814 01:00:23,131 --> 01:00:25,122 it's what makes us work. 815 01:00:25,266 --> 01:00:28,167 - OK, you're patronizing me again. - No, I'm not. 816 01:00:28,303 --> 01:00:32,569 Why is emotion some kind of a mental illness with you? 817 01:00:32,707 --> 01:00:36,336 It is if you indulge in it all the time. 818 01:00:38,580 --> 01:00:41,208 Don't you think I want to freak out? 819 01:00:41,349 --> 01:00:43,840 Don't you think I want to lose my shit? 820 01:00:43,985 --> 01:00:46,351 Why do you get to be the one that drinks too much, 821 01:00:46,488 --> 01:00:52,120 that says scandalous things, that has wild mood swings? 822 01:00:52,260 --> 01:00:53,522 Has it ever occurred to you 823 01:00:53,661 --> 01:00:56,630 that those are freedoms afforded to you by me? 824 01:00:56,765 --> 01:01:00,132 Has it ever occurred to you that my emotions are just as intense? 825 01:01:00,268 --> 01:01:02,759 I just work harder to control them. 826 01:01:02,904 --> 01:01:05,566 But why? You don't have to. I wish that you would lose it more. 827 01:01:05,707 --> 01:01:09,575 Who? Who should I lose it to? My mom? My brother? You? 828 01:01:09,711 --> 01:01:12,942 Take a look around you, Tom. Somebody's gotta keep their cool. 829 01:01:21,823 --> 01:01:25,884 I just... I need you to hold it together for another 1 2 hours. 830 01:01:26,027 --> 01:01:30,726 - Can you do that for me? - Yeah, I think so. 831 01:01:31,132 --> 01:01:32,656 OK. 832 01:01:33,768 --> 01:01:35,827 Now go find Pete and Jake 833 01:01:35,970 --> 01:01:39,371 and have a good talk before you cause us any more bad luck. 834 01:01:40,508 --> 01:01:41,770 OK. 835 01:02:08,002 --> 01:02:10,493 William, wake up. I'm in a panic. 836 01:02:10,638 --> 01:02:12,128 What's wrong? 837 01:02:13,074 --> 01:02:14,905 It's going to rain. 838 01:02:17,111 --> 01:02:20,410 - Augusta, come on. - William, will you wake up? 839 01:02:20,548 --> 01:02:22,072 I'm up. 840 01:02:48,877 --> 01:02:52,438 Who do you think helped sculpt the ice penis... 841 01:02:52,580 --> 01:02:54,673 I did. I did. I... 842 01:02:54,816 --> 01:02:56,977 - Get out of town. - I designed it. 843 01:02:57,118 --> 01:02:59,245 Listen, the wildest thing that you've ever done... 844 01:02:59,387 --> 01:03:00,911 I designed it. 845 01:03:01,055 --> 01:03:04,422 ...is roll down your window on the drive up here. 846 01:03:05,193 --> 01:03:06,990 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 847 01:03:07,128 --> 01:03:10,097 - Is that a challenge? - And what if it is? 848 01:03:11,232 --> 01:03:13,291 I'll race you to the front porch. 849 01:03:14,402 --> 01:03:16,029 We're talking fully dressed? 850 01:03:16,804 --> 01:03:20,205 Fuck that. Buck naked. 851 01:03:20,341 --> 01:03:22,809 - Weesie. I like this. - Yeah. 852 01:03:22,944 --> 01:03:24,434 - Yeah. Let's do it. - It's a new you. 853 01:03:24,579 --> 01:03:25,910 - Now we're talking. - Take it off. 854 01:03:26,047 --> 01:03:28,481 You know, I haven't done anything worthwhile since I was 1 8. 855 01:03:28,616 --> 01:03:30,777 What'd you do when you were 1 8? 856 01:03:30,919 --> 01:03:33,513 Cheated on my SATs and got into Yale. 857 01:03:33,655 --> 01:03:35,520 Yeah, I was headed for greatness. 858 01:03:35,657 --> 01:03:37,488 - Now I'm just headed for a breakdown. - Oh, really? 859 01:03:37,625 --> 01:03:38,990 Yeah. 860 01:03:40,828 --> 01:03:43,490 Yeah. No, now is where you say, 861 01:03:43,631 --> 01:03:45,826 ''You know what, Trip? You're a great actress.'' 862 01:03:45,967 --> 01:03:48,401 And I say, ''You know what? Your novel is gonna change the world.'' 863 01:03:48,536 --> 01:03:52,438 Oh, yeah? You know what, Trip? Great actress. 864 01:03:52,574 --> 01:03:54,371 And your novel is gonna... 865 01:05:01,175 --> 01:05:03,575 We don't really have to do this. 866 01:05:05,647 --> 01:05:07,308 Yeah, let's not. 867 01:05:09,717 --> 01:05:11,275 Funny idea, though. 868 01:05:15,490 --> 01:05:17,390 You're not getting off that easy. 869 01:05:31,172 --> 01:05:34,005 I'm alive! 870 01:05:36,511 --> 01:05:39,241 - Oh, shit, let go. Let's get out. - What? Wait! 871 01:05:45,887 --> 01:05:46,979 Minnow? 872 01:05:53,695 --> 01:05:57,563 No, no, no, no. 873 01:05:57,699 --> 01:06:00,725 - Minnow! - Look what I did, accidentally. 874 01:06:00,868 --> 01:06:03,769 OK, OK, calm down. Calm down. 875 01:06:04,672 --> 01:06:06,401 She's probably gonna come up here in the morning. 876 01:06:06,541 --> 01:06:07,906 I'm thinking. 877 01:06:08,042 --> 01:06:10,636 OK. OK. OK. This is what we're gonna do. 878 01:06:10,778 --> 01:06:12,143 OK. 879 01:06:12,280 --> 01:06:16,114 You're gonna count to 1 00. I'm gonna go downstairs. 880 01:06:16,250 --> 01:06:17,842 And when you hear me go into Lila's room, 881 01:06:17,985 --> 01:06:19,247 you're gonna make a break for it. 882 01:06:19,387 --> 01:06:23,847 And we are gonna deal with this tomorrow. 883 01:06:23,991 --> 01:06:25,288 Start counting. 884 01:06:31,065 --> 01:06:33,829 One, two, three... 885 01:06:34,635 --> 01:06:37,229 - Laura, Trip, you're late! - Just me. 886 01:06:37,972 --> 01:06:40,338 - You said you'd be here at midnight. - Yeah, I know. 887 01:06:40,475 --> 01:06:43,535 We're druggie loser assholes. I'm so sorry. 888 01:06:43,678 --> 01:06:44,940 Where is everyone? 889 01:06:45,847 --> 01:06:50,580 We all had so much to drink, I doubt anyone's still standing. 890 01:07:08,603 --> 01:07:10,127 Dude! 891 01:07:10,271 --> 01:07:13,832 I just... I guess we'll never get your alternative lifestyle, dude. 892 01:07:13,975 --> 01:07:16,535 - What's up, dude? - What's up, man? 893 01:07:16,677 --> 01:07:19,646 Hey, you want a sweater or something? 894 01:07:19,781 --> 01:07:24,650 I ain't a for-real cowboy, but I am one hell of a stud. 895 01:07:24,786 --> 01:07:26,344 Here you go, sir. 896 01:07:27,622 --> 01:07:29,556 Hey, is this cashmere? 897 01:07:32,560 --> 01:07:33,584 I'm so sorry. 898 01:07:34,862 --> 01:07:35,851 It's fine. 899 01:07:35,997 --> 01:07:37,521 Where's Laura? 900 01:07:38,966 --> 01:07:42,060 God, I don't know where she is. 901 01:07:42,203 --> 01:07:44,569 Actually, I saw her go into the house about an hour ago. 902 01:07:44,705 --> 01:07:46,832 So she said she was going to sleep. 903 01:07:49,110 --> 01:07:52,637 What is up with the toga situation? 904 01:07:53,981 --> 01:07:55,448 Don't ask. 905 01:07:58,386 --> 01:07:59,648 What? It's... 906 01:07:59,787 --> 01:08:01,448 - I couldn't find my... - Dress? 907 01:08:02,390 --> 01:08:04,688 It's... How are you? 908 01:08:52,340 --> 01:08:55,639 - Any luck? - No. You? 909 01:08:59,680 --> 01:09:01,375 - No. - This is bad. 910 01:09:02,516 --> 01:09:04,746 I'm sure Chip and Laura found him by now. 911 01:09:04,886 --> 01:09:06,979 Yeah, if they're even still together. 912 01:09:07,121 --> 01:09:09,419 Lila's gonna kill us. 913 01:09:11,058 --> 01:09:12,286 We should tell her. 914 01:09:12,426 --> 01:09:15,224 No, we should not tell her 'cause she's gonna freak out. 915 01:09:15,363 --> 01:09:16,990 That would be an appropriate response, don't you think? 916 01:09:17,131 --> 01:09:18,826 Why are you trying to cover your butt? 917 01:09:18,966 --> 01:09:20,593 I'm not trying to cover my butt. I did nothing wrong. 918 01:09:20,735 --> 01:09:23,203 You guys, you guys, just give him a few more hours. 919 01:09:23,337 --> 01:09:26,135 There's no point in getting Lila worked up if we can avoid it. 920 01:09:26,908 --> 01:09:29,035 Exactly my point. 921 01:09:30,278 --> 01:09:32,872 All right. Everybody in favor of telling Lila? 922 01:09:33,014 --> 01:09:34,379 No. 923 01:09:36,117 --> 01:09:38,210 Everybody in favor of not telling Lila. 924 01:09:39,720 --> 01:09:43,121 Fine. Let's just wait until it's light. 925 01:09:43,724 --> 01:09:45,692 - OK. - OK. 926 01:09:47,495 --> 01:09:49,690 - All right. - OK. 927 01:11:11,512 --> 01:11:13,742 ''Forlorn. 928 01:11:13,881 --> 01:11:16,543 The very word is like a bell tolling me back from thee 929 01:11:16,684 --> 01:11:20,643 to my sole self. Adieu. 930 01:11:20,788 --> 01:11:25,384 The fancy cannot cheat so well as she is famed to do, deceiving elf. 931 01:11:25,526 --> 01:11:31,260 Adieu, adieu, thy plaintive anthem fades past the near meadows, 932 01:11:31,399 --> 01:11:34,630 over the still stream, up the hillside 933 01:11:34,769 --> 01:11:39,536 and now 'tis buried deep in the next valley glades. 934 01:11:39,673 --> 01:11:42,267 Was it a vision or a waking dream? 935 01:11:42,410 --> 01:11:47,040 Fled is that music. Do I wake or do I sleep?'' 936 01:13:28,415 --> 01:13:30,645 Look, there's Lo. 937 01:13:32,386 --> 01:13:35,844 - Hey. - Have you seen him? 938 01:13:35,990 --> 01:13:37,890 Us, either. We're gonna tell Lila right now. 939 01:13:38,025 --> 01:13:39,959 - Wait. - What is it? Where were you last night? 940 01:13:40,094 --> 01:13:42,824 - Where were you last night? - Oh, my God. You were with him. 941 01:13:42,963 --> 01:13:44,328 - Trip, leave her alone. - No, she was. 942 01:13:44,465 --> 01:13:46,023 Why do you think that? 943 01:13:46,167 --> 01:13:48,431 We don't have time for this right now. Let's go. 944 01:13:49,570 --> 01:13:50,764 Come on. 945 01:14:51,565 --> 01:14:52,896 Minnow! 946 01:15:00,641 --> 01:15:02,802 Look what she did. 947 01:15:02,943 --> 01:15:05,810 Oh, darling, that's... 948 01:15:05,946 --> 01:15:07,743 That's... We have enough time. It can be fixed. 949 01:15:07,881 --> 01:15:11,681 Really. This will be fine. I can fix this. 950 01:15:11,819 --> 01:15:12,979 Lila, don't. Don't! 951 01:15:13,120 --> 01:15:16,112 She didn't... Lila, she didn't mean it! God! 952 01:15:27,835 --> 01:15:29,530 You're so dead! 953 01:15:30,237 --> 01:15:31,704 Stop! 954 01:15:36,110 --> 01:15:38,044 Li, there's something we need to tell you. 955 01:15:38,178 --> 01:15:39,907 What is it? 956 01:15:40,614 --> 01:15:42,343 - Tom's missing. - Last night... 957 01:15:42,483 --> 01:15:44,576 No, he's not. 958 01:15:45,586 --> 01:15:49,283 - I saw Tom last night. - Are you kidding me? That's great! 959 01:15:49,423 --> 01:15:52,017 - Where is he now? - There he is! 960 01:15:56,263 --> 01:15:59,790 - Hey! - I looked there. 961 01:16:00,367 --> 01:16:01,857 You didn't look hard enough. 962 01:16:02,403 --> 01:16:03,836 - Are you ready? - Yeah. 963 01:16:06,707 --> 01:16:07,696 Big swim you went for. 964 01:16:07,841 --> 01:16:09,934 Oh, no, it's bad luck for you to see each other 965 01:16:10,077 --> 01:16:12,068 - before the wedding. - Weesie, shut up. 966 01:16:19,586 --> 01:16:21,076 I'm gonna go get ready. 967 01:16:25,459 --> 01:16:27,051 - I am, too. - OK. 968 01:17:07,134 --> 01:17:09,261 Lila? Honey? 969 01:18:02,823 --> 01:18:04,290 Hey. 970 01:18:04,425 --> 01:18:05,892 Hey. 971 01:18:06,727 --> 01:18:08,456 - You good? - Yeah. 972 01:18:08,595 --> 01:18:11,689 - Yeah. - Got your lucky tie there? 973 01:18:14,301 --> 01:18:16,360 I don't know. 974 01:18:16,503 --> 01:18:19,199 You having some trouble tying the knot there, buddy? 975 01:18:22,976 --> 01:18:24,466 I'll be here all night. 976 01:18:25,179 --> 01:18:28,808 - You might wanna shave. - Shit, I forgot to shave too. OK. 977 01:18:28,949 --> 01:18:30,644 What do you guys think of the hair? 978 01:18:30,784 --> 01:18:31,910 There? 979 01:18:34,488 --> 01:18:36,183 - Or... - Or there? 980 01:18:39,660 --> 01:18:41,025 Choose a side. 981 01:19:24,204 --> 01:19:26,764 Where have you been? I'm gonna need help with my zipper. 982 01:19:30,143 --> 01:19:31,542 - How's my makeup? - Revolting. 983 01:19:31,678 --> 01:19:33,009 - And the hair? - Trashy. 984 01:19:33,146 --> 01:19:35,341 - You've seen my dress? - Tacky choice. 985 01:19:35,482 --> 01:19:38,349 Thank you. OK, perfect. 986 01:19:39,853 --> 01:19:41,343 Oh, my God! 987 01:19:42,155 --> 01:19:44,316 I'm getting married! 988 01:19:46,426 --> 01:19:49,395 Minnow? Come on in! 989 01:19:52,266 --> 01:19:53,756 You look beautiful. 990 01:19:53,901 --> 01:19:56,631 Oh, shit. I left my bouquets downstairs. Could someone go get them? 991 01:19:56,770 --> 01:19:58,294 - I will. - Thank you. 992 01:19:59,439 --> 01:20:01,430 All right. Dress. 993 01:20:01,575 --> 01:20:04,442 - I believe I need to get dressed. - Yes, let's do that. 994 01:21:07,741 --> 01:21:09,208 There you are. Thank goodness. 995 01:21:09,343 --> 01:21:11,709 I was starting to think you'd run off with those. 996 01:21:11,845 --> 01:21:14,746 - Minnow? - I'm sorry. 997 01:21:14,881 --> 01:21:15,939 It's fine. You were just in time. 998 01:21:16,083 --> 01:21:18,313 No, not about the flowers. 999 01:21:21,121 --> 01:21:22,315 I saw Tom last night. 1000 01:21:23,557 --> 01:21:26,617 That's nice. Did you two get a chance to catch up? 1001 01:21:26,760 --> 01:21:28,421 I found him when he was missing. 1002 01:21:28,562 --> 01:21:30,223 Guess those years as a Girl Scout paid off. 1003 01:21:30,364 --> 01:21:33,492 No, he wasn't lost. He was hiding. 1004 01:21:33,634 --> 01:21:35,226 I know all about his meltdown. 1005 01:21:35,369 --> 01:21:36,836 That's not what I mean. 1006 01:21:36,970 --> 01:21:38,665 Honey, you look so beautiful. 1007 01:21:38,805 --> 01:21:40,568 Girls, it's time to process. Let's go. 1008 01:21:40,707 --> 01:21:41,765 What do you mean? 1009 01:21:46,113 --> 01:21:49,378 I mean, Tom wasn't alone last night. He was with me. 1010 01:21:49,516 --> 01:21:51,177 We were together. 1011 01:21:51,318 --> 01:21:53,582 Why are you telling me this right now? This doesn't concern me. 1012 01:21:53,720 --> 01:21:55,017 - It doesn't? - Laura... 1013 01:21:55,155 --> 01:21:56,247 Trip, why don't we go... 1014 01:21:56,390 --> 01:21:57,584 He's a groom. I'd be concerned 1015 01:21:57,724 --> 01:21:59,214 if he wasn't a wreck the night before his wedding. 1016 01:21:59,359 --> 01:22:01,919 If he was in love with someone else, would that concern you? 1017 01:22:02,062 --> 01:22:04,326 Laura, this chapter is over. 1018 01:22:07,401 --> 01:22:13,397 - Li. I love him. - Yes. And I feel sorry for you. 1019 01:22:15,842 --> 01:22:19,642 You know I have tried to change these feelings. 1020 01:22:20,380 --> 01:22:22,075 I've done everything. 1021 01:22:22,215 --> 01:22:25,981 Other guys, other towns, other jobs. 1022 01:22:27,387 --> 01:22:30,015 And they say that it gets easier with time, but it doesn't. 1023 01:22:30,157 --> 01:22:32,887 If anything, the more time passes, the more I miss him. 1024 01:22:33,026 --> 01:22:35,961 Unrequited love is the perfect romantic construct. 1025 01:22:36,096 --> 01:22:38,587 It allows two cowardly people to act out a fantasy of love 1026 01:22:38,732 --> 01:22:41,223 without having to face any real consequences. 1027 01:22:41,368 --> 01:22:43,165 Li, you know he feels the same way. 1028 01:22:43,303 --> 01:22:45,271 He always has, and you know that. 1029 01:22:45,405 --> 01:22:46,872 - You are my maid of honor! - Yeah. 1030 01:22:47,007 --> 01:22:50,568 And I have done everything I possibly can to fulfill that obligation. 1031 01:22:50,711 --> 01:22:53,874 I thought that I could get through this. I did. 1032 01:22:54,014 --> 01:22:55,481 But I can't, and he can't, either. 1033 01:22:55,615 --> 01:22:59,176 - He doesn't want this, either. - You remember sophomore year? 1034 01:22:59,319 --> 01:23:01,344 The Lit Christmas party when you wore my dress? 1035 01:23:01,488 --> 01:23:04,457 The red one I bought especially for the event? 1036 01:23:04,591 --> 01:23:06,821 You took that, too, without asking. 1037 01:23:06,960 --> 01:23:08,552 And then when I went to get ready for the event, 1038 01:23:08,695 --> 01:23:10,822 - my dress was missing. - You know what? 1039 01:23:10,964 --> 01:23:13,398 I picked that dress out. When we were on Chapel Street, 1040 01:23:13,533 --> 01:23:17,697 we saw it in the window of Nelly's, and you remember I picked it out 1041 01:23:17,838 --> 01:23:20,739 and then you went back and you bought it. I was the editor of Lit. 1042 01:23:20,874 --> 01:23:23,570 It was my night. It was my occasion. 1043 01:23:23,710 --> 01:23:27,441 Or the time I got the apple tattoo and then a week later you got the same one? 1044 01:23:27,581 --> 01:23:30,573 You saw me draw that in 1 9th Century Novel, OK? 1045 01:23:30,717 --> 01:23:32,184 And then, all of a sudden, you show up 1046 01:23:32,319 --> 01:23:33,946 and you have it branded on your tailbone. 1047 01:23:34,087 --> 01:23:36,578 Freshmen, sophomore, every year of college, 1048 01:23:36,723 --> 01:23:39,590 when I provided you months of meticulous notes 1049 01:23:39,726 --> 01:23:42,524 hours before the finals, you feel entitled to my things... 1050 01:23:42,662 --> 01:23:47,258 - Mine, mine! - ...because you want them! 1051 01:23:47,400 --> 01:23:49,368 Yeah. Fine, you win, Lila. 1052 01:23:49,503 --> 01:23:52,472 You provided me with the meticulous study notes. 1053 01:23:52,606 --> 01:23:55,700 But you know what? I inspired your best ideas. 1054 01:23:55,842 --> 01:23:59,869 And when you got together with Tom, senior spring, I was still dating him. 1055 01:24:00,013 --> 01:24:01,981 Why are you doing this to me right now? 1056 01:24:02,115 --> 01:24:05,107 Because you're about to marry a man, and I don't think you should. 1057 01:24:05,252 --> 01:24:07,345 You just can't bear to see me happy, 1058 01:24:07,487 --> 01:24:09,682 and so you have to trash it with your emotions. 1059 01:24:09,823 --> 01:24:14,351 No, Li. You deserve to be with someone who is in love with you, 1060 01:24:14,494 --> 01:24:16,121 totally and completely. 1061 01:24:16,263 --> 01:24:18,527 How dare you try to pass this off as an act of friendship. 1062 01:24:18,665 --> 01:24:21,225 - This is sabotage. - No, this takes courage. 1063 01:24:21,368 --> 01:24:24,462 Courage?! That's funny. 1064 01:24:24,604 --> 01:24:28,768 - I am not trying to hurt you. - Yes, you are. 1065 01:24:28,909 --> 01:24:31,605 That is your intention. This has nothing to do with Tom. 1066 01:24:31,745 --> 01:24:34,009 It's about me and you and your envy! 1067 01:24:37,918 --> 01:24:39,476 No. 1068 01:24:41,021 --> 01:24:45,549 You can't do this. You can't! You can't bully me anymore. 1069 01:24:46,493 --> 01:24:48,324 Obviously, I am torn. 1070 01:24:48,461 --> 01:24:51,555 And as your friend, I do want what is best for you. 1071 01:24:51,698 --> 01:24:54,861 But I can't keep putting you ahead of me forever. 1072 01:24:55,001 --> 01:24:59,267 My God, you're delusional. You actually believe you're entitled to my fiancé! 1073 01:25:00,040 --> 01:25:03,339 This is not a difficult or complicated situation, Laura. 1074 01:25:03,476 --> 01:25:07,810 This is very simple. I won and you're jealous. 1075 01:25:08,782 --> 01:25:09,908 Jealous? 1076 01:25:13,119 --> 01:25:15,053 No. 1077 01:25:16,289 --> 01:25:18,382 I pity you. 1078 01:25:20,360 --> 01:25:22,225 Your groom is in love with another woman. 1079 01:25:23,763 --> 01:25:26,288 He asked me to marry him. 1080 01:25:26,433 --> 01:25:27,491 Not you. 1081 01:25:36,843 --> 01:25:38,606 All this is... 1082 01:25:39,279 --> 01:25:41,213 ...certainly tragic. 1083 01:25:41,348 --> 01:25:45,751 Debatably interesting, but it really doesn't matter anymore, 1084 01:25:45,886 --> 01:25:48,150 because he's marrying me in ten minutes. 1085 01:25:51,658 --> 01:25:53,956 Li, he cheated on you. 1086 01:25:57,364 --> 01:25:59,025 No. 1087 01:26:00,300 --> 01:26:01,790 You did. 1088 01:26:03,536 --> 01:26:06,266 Oh, my God! Can I move yet? 1089 01:26:42,642 --> 01:26:44,769 I'm sorry about last night. 1090 01:26:46,279 --> 01:26:47,803 I was out of line. 1091 01:26:49,416 --> 01:26:51,316 Yeah, you were. 1092 01:26:52,919 --> 01:26:55,387 Maybe I do need that ankle bracelet. 1093 01:26:57,357 --> 01:27:00,485 Seriously. I'm really sorry. 1094 01:28:03,456 --> 01:28:04,753 Thank you. 1095 01:28:24,277 --> 01:28:28,646 Love is like the ocean. Vast, seemingly endless. 1096 01:28:28,782 --> 01:28:32,980 Rocky, at times. Peaceful, at others. 1097 01:28:33,119 --> 01:28:36,816 Daunting for all its unexplored depths, 1098 01:28:36,956 --> 01:28:40,983 but a constant source of wonder and amazement. 1099 01:28:42,629 --> 01:28:46,292 Tom and Lila have written their own vows, 1100 01:28:46,433 --> 01:28:49,527 in an expression of their creativity. 1101 01:28:53,773 --> 01:28:55,240 Lila... 1102 01:28:58,545 --> 01:29:00,410 Lila, when I... 1103 01:29:01,748 --> 01:29:04,774 Lila... When I look at you... 1104 01:29:05,652 --> 01:29:08,485 ...I'm speechless. 1105 01:29:10,056 --> 01:29:12,957 I literally have nothing to say. 1106 01:29:17,263 --> 01:29:19,128 You know, I... 1107 01:29:19,265 --> 01:29:21,165 If I... 1108 01:29:27,240 --> 01:29:28,434 Did you feel that? 1109 01:29:28,575 --> 01:29:32,272 What? No, I didn't. 1110 01:29:32,412 --> 01:29:37,907 Lila, words fail the depth and complexity of my feelings for you. 1111 01:29:40,019 --> 01:29:41,680 I need canons of literature, 1112 01:29:41,821 --> 01:29:45,689 unwritten books, an entirely new language. 1113 01:29:52,732 --> 01:29:56,668 But the thing is, without words, I have nothing. 1114 01:29:58,938 --> 01:30:00,530 I have nothing. 1115 01:30:02,876 --> 01:30:06,141 You know, I... If I... 1116 01:30:07,680 --> 01:30:09,147 Maybe I should say it for you. 1117 01:30:23,730 --> 01:30:25,527 Get the dress!