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~ Suing the Devil (2011) ~
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My name is Luke O'Brien.
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I work as a salesman by day.
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At night, I attend the
Billy Simon's night law school
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in Sydney, Australia.
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It's been my goal in life
to become a lawyer,
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until.
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Some tragedies have caused me
to question my own existence.
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I wonder why the good Lord lets
Satan get away with so much.
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This has been the
worst year of my life.
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And today the country was rocked
by yet another mass murder.
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This time a gunman killed 15 people
at the hospital before taking his own life.
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That's unacceptable.
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No, that's ridiculous.
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How does an account disappear?
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Well some human garbage
has stolen my money and you...
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Well what kind of idiots
do you have working there?
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Luke! Please don't!
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Babe.
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Babe, babe are you okay?
I'm sorry.
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In other news, gas prices
are still rising
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and oil companies
offer no apologies.
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God,
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are you following
any of this?
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My mother was killed
by a drunk driver, Gwen,
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the same drunk driver
is now free on the streets,
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with all the other filth out there
including the ones who stole our money.
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You know, if I could just have
Satan right here, right now,
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I'd crush him to bits.
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And that same filth
that murdered my Mother!
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I'm off to the law library.
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♪ Everyone needs compassion, ♪
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♪ love that's never failing. ♪
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♪ Let mercy fall on me. ♪
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Don't tell me I left
the bullets at home!
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And then, something happened.
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Of all things, a Bible fell out
of the glove compartment.
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Had my back slid so far from God
that I was willing to kill a man?
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Why couldn't I forgive him?
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Why?
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How did I get to
what I've become?
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A man who hated people.
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Instead of loving
my neighbor.
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Who am I?
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As I drove home, I realized
what a spiritual battle we all face.
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Satan comes at you like a roaring lion,
brothers and sisters,
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don't forget that!
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The greatest lie he ever invented was
to convince you that he doesn't exist.
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And I believe in the devil.
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That's when it hit me.
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Every problem
in the world today
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is somehow related
to this evil being.
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It's all lies and deception.
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And because of this snake
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the world continues
spiraling downward.
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And it dawned on me
that I'd do something rash.
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If the world was going to hell,
I may as well take some demons out!
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It was on this day that
I decided to expose Satan.
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Yes, you heard me right.
Expose Satan!
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And I can show the tactics
of the Devil better than anybody!
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Luke O'Brien vs. Satan?
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That's right.
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Satan?
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Yeah, that's right.
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Is there a last name?
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I didn't exactly have Satan's address
to send him a copy of the lawsuit,
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but I did make it all the way
to a court hearing with a judge.
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Luke O'Brien vs. Satan?
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Yes, your honor.
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You're suing Satan?
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Crazy!
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Order!
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Yes, your honor.
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You're aware that you're in the
international court of human rights.
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Your honor, Satan have violated
every human right known to man!
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- Are you seeing a shrink?
- No.
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- Taking any medication?
- Yes.
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No, I used to.
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Mr. O'Brien, you are wasting the
court's time with this frivolous lawsuit.
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Your honor, I can prove that
Satan is a viable defendant.
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Under Dogar vs. Marlboro,
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and section 10-3 of the
international civil liberties suit...
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Right, I understand.
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And of course Satan has failed
to respond to this notice.
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I'd like to submit a default
judgment upon him.
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And how do you expect
to serve that notice?
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Well, I listed it in
the newspaper actually.
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You might want to try hell
next time, just a tip.
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I knew she was going
to dismiss the case.
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I just wanted to vent
my frustration with Satan!
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So what she said next
took me completely by surprise.
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You're going to have to give the
defendant, in this case Satan, notice.
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Find a process server,
I'll give you 30 more days.
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But your honor, I can't!
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Well, I won't allow a default
unless the defendant has been served!
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Next case!
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- What's this?
- This is a lawsuit against Satan.
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- What is this, a joke?
- No, it's not.
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If he works here, I want you
to give that to him.
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We have 70 lawyers who
work here, take your pick.
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Go for it.
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Hey bud,
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what makes you think Satan
even works here, huh?
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You just give that to him
if you see him, alright?
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Hey, I run a respectable
business here, okay?
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Yeah, we've got strippers, drunks
and gamblers, but you know what?
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I don't permit smoking
inside, okay?
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Are you guys Satan worshipers?
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Just in case, can you give this
to Satan if you see him around?
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Thanks.
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I see you've served notice
of process at a law film,
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strip club, overseas investment
firm and an oil company.
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Why stop there?
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Did you try serving
a used car yard?
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If Satan's anywhere,
it's probably there.
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Yeah, I didn't think
of that one, your honor.
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I'd like to file a default judgment
against Satan.
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Default judgment?
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Yes, your honor. I want
the record to show...
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that Satan has judgment
against him for 8 trillion dollars.
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I'm going to dismiss this case
on a technicality
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and because you're nuts.
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And then the most
unimaginable thing happened.
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I'm also going to
penalize you because...
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Because why?
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I'm here, your honor.
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Ever get that strange feeling
that a hoax might be real after all?
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And who are you?
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- Satan, your honor.
- Oh, your honor.
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Nice try.
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So you two are
in this together, right?
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I'm here to answer the
summonsed, your honor.
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And I wade the lack
of process from Mr. Luke O'Brien.
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What is this?
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That's great,
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you almost had me there.
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Oh, made my day!
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Am I punked?
Where are the cameras?
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I'm afraid it's quite serious,
your honor.
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Well I don't find it
very amusing.
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Neither do I.
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Can you prove you're Satan?
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Can you prove I'm not?
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What is going on here?
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Oh my goodness, it's
so hot in here! Bailiff!
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Bailiff? Why is the heat up?
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What do you think?
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Oh, my goodness! Bailiff!
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What have you done
to the heat? Check it!
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So, suppose you are
who you say you are,
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do you realize the extent
of what you're saying?
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The earth is mine.
And I will defend myself.
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Do you have legal representation?
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Do I have legal representation?
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I know what you're thinking,
so don't say it.
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Was this man
really the devil?
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Well, I must say you've got
a lot of guts boy. Suing me?
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I mean, do you really know
what you're letting yourself in for?
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You're not really Satan,
are you?
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Oh, and you're not Lukey Dukey,
are you, idiot?
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Look, you better have a bunch of good lawyers
because I'm going to take you down.
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You're a little pipsqueak.
Do you know how insignificant you are?
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I mean, with one...
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I could send you off into the abyss
in a little red corvette.
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Hey, I've got God on my side, okay?
And He created you.
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Ugh, got a card?
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- I don't have one.
- No card?
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Well, here's mine.
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Call me, anytime.
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Hey, don't smoke it.
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I'll see you in court, baby.
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Oh yeah, nice
magic trick, dude!
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I needed someone to help me.
Someone I could trust.
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There was only
one person I knew.
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Get lost.
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Come on, Mel! That's
no way to talk to a friend.
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Friends don't ask friends
to sue Satan.
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I really need your help
on this one, please.
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Luke, I just passed the bar.
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I'm not about to sue Satan
as my first case.
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Find another idiot.
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Mel!
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The judge actually set
a trial date for next week,
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which stunned everyone
in the courtroom, including me.
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After that, I got hit with
a million interview requests,
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which of course
I reluctantly turned down.
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Honey, I'm home!
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Call him a nutcase, but
Luke O'Brien is suing the Devil.
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The judge was about
to throw out the case
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until another man entered in claiming
that he himself was, in fact, the Devil.
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Talk about another weird day
here at the Sydney courthouse.
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You sure you want to
go through with this?
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Yeah, of course.
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The Devil's responsible for
the mess this whole world's in.
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You said it yourself.
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Yeah, but I didn't tell you
to go out there and sue him!
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Why are you doing this, Luke?
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00:14:01,482 --> 00:14:05,543
Because the devil exists
and I have to expose him.
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00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,780
I have to expose him.
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00:14:08,961 --> 00:14:11,897
Ladies and gentlemen, please.
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00:14:11,897 --> 00:14:17,169
I'd like to thank you for coming here on such
short notice for such a monumental event.
202
00:14:17,169 --> 00:14:21,073
Now, without further a due,
I'd like to introduce to you my client,
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00:14:21,073 --> 00:14:24,338
who prefers that
you call him "Prince".
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00:14:25,811 --> 00:14:28,414
Here you are,
your dream team.
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00:14:28,414 --> 00:14:30,749
The best trial lawyers
from around the world...
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00:14:30,749 --> 00:14:33,152
are here in Sydney
for this trial.
207
00:14:33,152 --> 00:14:34,210
Great.
208
00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:43,729
Well, here you are sir,
your dream team.
209
00:14:43,729 --> 00:14:47,599
The best, the brightest, the smartest
trial lawyers from all over the world.
210
00:14:47,599 --> 00:14:49,362
And the most expensive.
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00:14:52,504 --> 00:14:56,742
Mr. Ice, Oxford, IQ 214.
212
00:14:56,742 --> 00:14:59,945
He helped defeat a bill that was
trying to find a cure for cancer.
213
00:14:59,945 --> 00:15:03,649
I'm not quite sure about
the cancer thing, I mean...
214
00:15:03,649 --> 00:15:08,520
when people are dying of cancer they
usually think more about God, no?
215
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,857
Well, don't get too paranoid
there, Prince, because...
216
00:15:11,857 --> 00:15:14,460
God gets his fair share
of cursing too, huh?
217
00:15:14,460 --> 00:15:17,029
They curse God!
Well, that's a very smart answer.
218
00:15:17,029 --> 00:15:18,860
Okay, I like you!
219
00:15:20,632 --> 00:15:23,635
Miss Black, Yale law.
220
00:15:23,635 --> 00:15:26,171
The youngest and best
litigator in New York.
221
00:15:26,171 --> 00:15:29,208
67 wins, 0 losses.
222
00:15:29,208 --> 00:15:32,277
She helped defeat
the electric car in court.
223
00:15:32,277 --> 00:15:34,513
Her clients, big oil.
224
00:15:34,513 --> 00:15:38,984
What would you say if I gave you
100 million dollars
225
00:15:38,984 --> 00:15:42,528
and asked in return
for your soul?
226
00:15:43,028 --> 00:15:45,087
100 million for my soul?
227
00:15:45,597 --> 00:15:47,064
What's the catch?
228
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:50,903
Thank you.
Good answer!
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00:15:50,903 --> 00:15:53,572
- I like this team.
- Pleasure to meet you, Prince.
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00:15:53,572 --> 00:15:56,175
Mr. Think Tank, Harvard law.
231
00:15:56,175 --> 00:15:57,443
- Think Tank.
- How do you do, sir?
232
00:15:57,443 --> 00:16:00,646
Helped defeat the
passenger bill of rights.
233
00:16:00,146 --> 00:16:03,349
His clients are
all the major airlines.
234
00:16:03,349 --> 00:16:06,018
Airlines?
Oh, I hate airlines.
235
00:16:06,018 --> 00:16:07,353
Well, what I do love, though,
236
00:16:07,353 --> 00:16:11,624
I love to see people in those
huge long lines, don't you?
237
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Waiting for security,
taking their stupid shoes off.
238
00:16:16,262 --> 00:16:18,097
I love to see that!
239
00:16:18,097 --> 00:16:21,834
And they added baggage fees.
That was my initiative.
240
00:16:21,834 --> 00:16:24,503
Really? I love greed.
241
00:16:24,503 --> 00:16:26,185
- Welcome to the team.
- Thank you, sir.
242
00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:27,453
Good.
243
00:16:27,749 --> 00:16:29,541
Ah, Ms. Shy.
244
00:16:30,109 --> 00:16:32,578
Sydney University.
Don't let the name fool you.
245
00:16:32,578 --> 00:16:35,081
She is a shark in court.
246
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:39,418
I hear you're not happy
with your remuneration.
247
00:16:39,418 --> 00:16:41,443
I only work for top dollar.
248
00:16:41,687 --> 00:16:45,696
Well, as you should.
And what is top dollar to you?
249
00:16:46,196 --> 00:16:48,187
10 million, cash out.
250
00:16:48,701 --> 00:16:51,398
Oh...
You sure she's Ms. Shy?
251
00:16:52,002 --> 00:16:54,204
Sith, please!
252
00:16:54,204 --> 00:16:57,298
Don't you want to be involved
in taking down Satan?
253
00:16:57,708 --> 00:17:00,176
Putting that way, no I don't.
254
00:17:00,510 --> 00:17:03,580
No one else is
helping me out on this.
255
00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:06,105
Besides, I mean, think of
all the publicity!
256
00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,952
You'll be in every newspaper.
257
00:17:08,952 --> 00:17:11,121
You'll have so many
clients from this,
258
00:17:11,121 --> 00:17:13,214
you wont even know
where to begin.
259
00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:18,792
Seriously, I really, really need
your help on this one, please.
260
00:17:19,596 --> 00:17:23,930
Luke, what if that guy really is Satan,
have you thought about that?
261
00:17:24,921 --> 00:17:29,125
Mr. Innocent. You're going
to love him. Columbia law.
262
00:17:29,125 --> 00:17:31,995
Represents all the casinos
in Vegas.
263
00:17:31,995 --> 00:17:34,664
Vegas!
Put it there, my friend.
264
00:17:34,664 --> 00:17:36,567
That is my hometown.
265
00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:40,463
All those gamblers, those idiots,
what nitwits they are.
266
00:17:40,463 --> 00:17:44,234
I love it when the dealer
has 16 and turns over a 5!
267
00:17:44,234 --> 00:17:47,136
All those idiot faces!
I love it!
268
00:17:47,136 --> 00:17:49,305
They look so disappointed!
269
00:17:49,305 --> 00:17:53,443
I helped defeat a stupid lawsuit against
the casinos for second hand smoke.
270
00:17:53,443 --> 00:17:57,847
They claim that 1 hour in a casino
equals 3 months of passive smoking.
271
00:17:57,847 --> 00:18:00,416
Oh yeah, and so what happened?
272
00:18:00,416 --> 00:18:03,353
Just like my last poker game,
I won, of course!
273
00:18:03,353 --> 00:18:07,449
So I'm going to crush Luke O'Brien.
That will give me so much joy.
274
00:18:07,724 --> 00:18:10,493
You're doing this for the Lord.
275
00:18:10,493 --> 00:18:13,826
Seriously. And you're going
to take a stand in your life!
276
00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:17,015
- Thank you so much
- Yeah.
277
00:18:17,015 --> 00:18:20,118
So, Mr. In-Yo-Face,
from Stanford Law.
278
00:18:20,118 --> 00:18:22,721
Oh! Stanford Law.
Very good!
279
00:18:22,721 --> 00:18:25,324
I know this sounds
very egotistical, sir, but...
280
00:18:25,324 --> 00:18:28,093
I am the greatest, so
don't worry about a thing.
281
00:18:28,093 --> 00:18:31,119
Good. Isn't that what
Muhammad Ali said?
282
00:18:32,197 --> 00:18:35,300
- Professor Fields, NYU.
- Hi Prof!
283
00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:38,270
It's a stupid lawsuit sir,
and we're going to win.
284
00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:42,875
Alright. Stupid, win. That sounds
good to me. Thank you.
285
00:18:42,875 --> 00:18:47,744
And last but not least,
Ms. Scarlett.
286
00:18:48,347 --> 00:18:51,145
She represents
the tobacco industry.
287
00:18:53,185 --> 00:18:56,054
Then no more need be said!
288
00:18:57,656 --> 00:19:02,025
Quick question. Hands up
all those who believe in God.
289
00:19:03,529 --> 00:19:04,661
Alright.
290
00:19:04,663 --> 00:19:08,058
Hands up those who like God.
291
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:11,531
Like, like, like?
No one.
292
00:19:12,137 --> 00:19:16,842
Well, I think our nemesis
Luke O'Brien is in your shoes.
293
00:19:16,842 --> 00:19:21,506
He doesn't like God either!
Only he doesn't know it yet.
294
00:19:21,947 --> 00:19:26,318
Alright, now, as you all know, this trial
is being shown around the world.
295
00:19:26,318 --> 00:19:30,448
I don't have to tell you,
my client never loses.
296
00:19:31,290 --> 00:19:32,655
Ever.
297
00:19:33,025 --> 00:19:36,517
So what do we know
about this Luke O'Brien?
298
00:19:36,695 --> 00:19:40,432
You don't need to worry
about Luke O'Brien, he's done.
299
00:19:40,432 --> 00:19:43,669
Well, let's not underestimate him.
300
00:19:43,669 --> 00:19:47,161
We're not. That's why
you're closing him.
301
00:19:50,175 --> 00:19:53,576
And so the first day
of the trial arrived.
302
00:19:55,414 --> 00:20:00,681
The jury was selected by a random
computer process under some new law.
303
00:20:00,986 --> 00:20:04,080
Now, it was a mad house.
304
00:20:08,378 --> 00:20:11,417
Here we are outside the
International Court of Human Rights,
305
00:20:11,417 --> 00:20:15,021
where Luke O'Brien
is about to arrive.
306
00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:17,290
Look! Here he is!
Here he is!
307
00:20:17,290 --> 00:20:19,659
Luke! Luke! Luke!
308
00:20:19,659 --> 00:20:23,356
Serious question for you, Luke.
Are you a moron?
309
00:20:24,163 --> 00:20:25,357
No.
310
00:20:26,733 --> 00:20:29,969
- Luke, you can't be taking this case seriously.
- Well, of course I'm taking it seriously.
311
00:20:29,969 --> 00:20:31,971
Do you honestly believe
that that's the devil?
312
00:20:31,971 --> 00:20:34,235
The devil is alive
and he's well.
313
00:20:34,507 --> 00:20:37,310
Luke, Luke, so why are you
suing the devil?
314
00:20:37,310 --> 00:20:40,313
He ruined my life,
he ruined this world!
315
00:20:40,313 --> 00:20:42,144
And he has to pay for it.
316
00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:44,784
- Do you really think you have a chance?
- Yes.
317
00:20:44,784 --> 00:20:46,945
In my heart I believe I do.
318
00:20:55,061 --> 00:20:57,697
Satan, Satan, do you have
anything to say?
319
00:20:57,697 --> 00:20:59,365
I always have
something to say.
320
00:20:59,365 --> 00:21:04,064
- Are you really Satan?
- Oh yes, how about a little dance with Satan?
321
00:21:06,205 --> 00:21:09,075
Do you expect the public
to actually buy you're Satan?
322
00:21:09,075 --> 00:21:11,811
Well do you expect the public
to buy that you are...
323
00:21:11,811 --> 00:21:15,577
$12000 in debt
on your credit cards?
324
00:21:16,382 --> 00:21:19,218
- How did you know that?
- Yeah, start paying them off.
325
00:21:19,218 --> 00:21:21,846
If you're really Satan,
then prove it.
326
00:21:22,055 --> 00:21:24,319
Okay, watch this.
327
00:21:28,780 --> 00:21:31,516
All I'd like to say is:
328
00:21:31,516 --> 00:21:34,552
The world is full of losers.
329
00:21:34,552 --> 00:21:38,156
How many people are going
to sue me and blame me
330
00:21:38,156 --> 00:21:41,359
because they can't
get their act together?
331
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:44,228
Okay? They're losers!
332
00:21:44,228 --> 00:21:47,432
Mr. Luke O'Brien,
are you listening?
333
00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:49,434
Satan, just want to say
that I'm a huge fan,
334
00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:51,269
I adore you, I worship you!
335
00:21:51,269 --> 00:21:53,171
- I love Kiss.
- What?
336
00:21:53,171 --> 00:21:54,695
Kiss! Kiss!
337
00:21:58,576 --> 00:22:01,943
I hate Kiss.
I'm a Tom Jones man.
338
00:22:09,153 --> 00:22:13,825
It's being built as trial of the century,
being seen by audiences around the world.
339
00:22:13,825 --> 00:22:17,128
Welcome everyone to
"You Decide The verdict".
340
00:22:17,128 --> 00:22:19,530
I'm Barry Polk.
Joining me today are...
341
00:22:19,530 --> 00:22:21,366
Tony "The Hip" Anzaldo,
342
00:22:21,366 --> 00:22:24,268
and Jasmine Williams,
welcome both.
343
00:22:24,268 --> 00:22:25,336
Tony, why don't we
start with you?
344
00:22:25,336 --> 00:22:29,204
Do you think that this guy Luke O'Brien
has any chance against Satan?
345
00:22:32,610 --> 00:22:33,542
No.
346
00:22:34,345 --> 00:22:36,336
Well said.
Jasmine?
347
00:22:36,681 --> 00:22:39,417
I think the world is pulling
for Luke O'Brien,
348
00:22:39,417 --> 00:22:42,153
and we all hope
that he prevails.
349
00:22:42,153 --> 00:22:43,381
I don't.
350
00:22:45,023 --> 00:22:48,493
Let's go to Mark Engstrom,
who's observing this all the way from...
351
00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:51,529
Tony, you'll like this.
London, England.
352
00:22:51,529 --> 00:22:52,518
Mark?
353
00:22:53,531 --> 00:22:58,136
Barry, everyone in the UK.
Is fascinated by this case.
354
00:22:58,136 --> 00:23:03,408
And the big question on everyone's
mind is whether this really is Satan.
355
00:23:03,408 --> 00:23:05,977
Mark, excuse me a moment,
we're going to go right back now,
356
00:23:05,977 --> 00:23:08,468
as the trial is just
getting back underway.
357
00:23:38,843 --> 00:23:40,674
All rise!
358
00:23:46,451 --> 00:23:48,180
You may be seated.
359
00:23:50,354 --> 00:23:52,042
Court is now in session.
360
00:23:52,042 --> 00:23:54,340
Are you sure you want to
go through with this?
361
00:23:55,679 --> 00:23:57,982
- No.
- This jury was selected by a random...
362
00:23:57,982 --> 00:24:00,551
Yes.
363
00:24:00,551 --> 00:24:02,075
Okay.
364
00:24:03,087 --> 00:24:06,624
Since neither party
chose to settle,
365
00:24:06,624 --> 00:24:08,559
we will go to trial.
366
00:24:08,559 --> 00:24:11,528
And I want a speedy trial,
understood?
367
00:24:12,129 --> 00:24:15,566
You've already turned our court
into a media circus.
368
00:24:15,566 --> 00:24:18,002
Plaintiff, your opening statement.
369
00:24:18,002 --> 00:24:20,800
- Plaintiff!
- Yes, your honor.
370
00:24:24,842 --> 00:24:27,140
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
371
00:24:28,513 --> 00:24:31,549
I feel a little inadequate,
after all...
372
00:24:31,549 --> 00:24:34,786
I am suing the devil himself.
373
00:24:34,786 --> 00:24:36,687
However,
374
00:24:36,687 --> 00:24:41,181
it's very important that you remember
the whole world is at stake here.
375
00:24:41,959 --> 00:24:45,029
And that being over there is the
cause of all the world's suffering.
376
00:24:45,029 --> 00:24:47,532
Your honor, objection!
377
00:24:47,532 --> 00:24:52,834
My client isn't a being,
he's a fallen angel.
378
00:24:54,205 --> 00:24:56,901
Right. Continue, Mr. O'Brien.
379
00:24:58,573 --> 00:25:01,876
I will prove, with a
preponderance of evidence,
380
00:25:01,876 --> 00:25:05,813
that he has caused all the
problems and pain of this world.
381
00:25:05,813 --> 00:25:08,483
And the verdict should be
rendered against him,
382
00:25:08,483 --> 00:25:10,713
for 8 trillion dollars.
383
00:25:16,991 --> 00:25:18,185
Order!
384
00:25:18,626 --> 00:25:19,957
Order!
385
00:25:23,197 --> 00:25:24,131
Order!
386
00:25:24,131 --> 00:25:27,869
Satan! Satan! Satan!
387
00:25:27,869 --> 00:25:29,427
Order!
388
00:25:30,004 --> 00:25:31,528
Order!
389
00:25:33,007 --> 00:25:36,875
Okay, counsel, for the defense,
your opening statement.
390
00:25:42,783 --> 00:25:44,683
The audacity,
391
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:47,989
the sheer audacity...
392
00:25:47,989 --> 00:25:52,493
to make you poor people
leave your jobs
393
00:25:52,493 --> 00:25:55,162
for this hair brain lawsuit,
394
00:25:55,162 --> 00:25:57,398
- it's unbelievable!
- Objection!
395
00:25:57,398 --> 00:26:01,402
Sustained. Counsel, please
refrain from personal attacks.
396
00:26:01,402 --> 00:26:02,570
I'm sorry, your honor.
397
00:26:02,570 --> 00:26:07,940
Assuming, for argument's sake,
that my client in fact is Satan,
398
00:26:08,376 --> 00:26:13,481
we will prove that this man
is no way responsible
399
00:26:13,481 --> 00:26:15,816
for this man's problems
in society.
400
00:26:15,816 --> 00:26:20,087
And it's a disturbing and
reprehensible thing
401
00:26:20,087 --> 00:26:24,292
for him to sue my client
who's done him no wrong.
402
00:26:24,292 --> 00:26:27,194
I'm done, let the trial begin!
403
00:26:27,194 --> 00:26:29,685
Plaintiff, your first witness.
404
00:26:32,033 --> 00:26:33,728
Pastor Matthews,
405
00:26:34,802 --> 00:26:37,238
- Is Satan real?
- Oh yes, he is.
406
00:26:37,238 --> 00:26:39,640
The Bible taken literally
tells us that.
407
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:43,277
Satan is mentioned by name
in 47 Bible verses,
408
00:26:43,277 --> 00:26:45,580
- as the devil...
- Objection, your honor.
409
00:26:45,580 --> 00:26:49,517
The Bible is not admissible
as evidence in this courtroom.
410
00:26:49,517 --> 00:26:50,885
Your honor,
411
00:26:50,885 --> 00:26:55,690
the Bible has been the most reliable source
of history than other ever produced.
412
00:26:55,690 --> 00:26:57,758
Let him have it,
it's fiction anyway.
413
00:26:57,758 --> 00:26:59,293
Continue, Pastor.
414
00:26:59,293 --> 00:27:02,820
Come on, be magnanimous.
Let him have it, we're going to win.
415
00:27:03,332 --> 00:27:07,836
Satan, when he was tempting Jesus,
appealed to 3 things.
416
00:27:07,836 --> 00:27:09,111
A lust of the flesh,
417
00:27:09,611 --> 00:27:11,001
the lust of the eyes,
418
00:27:11,019 --> 00:27:12,770
and the boastful
pride of man.
419
00:27:12,770 --> 00:27:14,872
And what is his mission?
420
00:27:14,872 --> 00:27:16,908
He opposes everything
that is good,
421
00:27:16,908 --> 00:27:20,742
and he seeks to destroy
the work of Jesus Christ.
422
00:27:21,079 --> 00:27:22,814
There you have it.
423
00:27:22,814 --> 00:27:26,045
Destroy the work
of Jesus Christ.
424
00:27:27,785 --> 00:27:29,980
I have no further questions,
your honor.
425
00:27:32,957 --> 00:27:35,159
What is this, Pastor?
426
00:27:35,159 --> 00:27:36,394
It's an apple.
427
00:27:36,394 --> 00:27:38,696
And what if I was to tell you
that this was the very apple
428
00:27:38,696 --> 00:27:41,666
that Eve took a bite from
in the garden of Eden?
429
00:27:41,666 --> 00:27:43,835
- Would you believe me?
- No.
430
00:27:43,835 --> 00:27:45,970
- Why?
- Because the apple Eve ate...
431
00:27:45,970 --> 00:27:47,938
would be full of worms by now.
432
00:27:49,073 --> 00:27:51,075
Brilliant deduction.
433
00:27:51,075 --> 00:27:54,979
And so our client over there is guilty
of destroying this man's life because...
434
00:27:54,979 --> 00:28:00,218
Because the scripture says the devil is
a roaring lion seeking who he may devour.
435
00:28:00,218 --> 00:28:02,687
Sounds pretty guilty to me.
436
00:28:02,687 --> 00:28:05,656
And yet this apple is not
from the Garden of Eden.
437
00:28:05,656 --> 00:28:08,359
I understand your question,
of course it's not.
438
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:09,883
Of course.
439
00:28:09,899 --> 00:28:11,401
No further questions,
your honor.
440
00:28:11,401 --> 00:28:14,437
Wow, already high drama
on the first day of this...
441
00:28:14,437 --> 00:28:17,273
international trial live
from Sydney, Australia.
442
00:28:17,273 --> 00:28:20,476
For those of you joining us
from around the world, welcome.
443
00:28:20,476 --> 00:28:22,245
Tony, comments?
444
00:28:22,245 --> 00:28:24,347
Satan's law is obviously
having a field day here, I mean,
445
00:28:24,347 --> 00:28:26,416
this Luke guy, my heart goes out
to him, he's just out of league,
446
00:28:26,416 --> 00:28:30,045
and if he's not careful they are
going to have him for their lunch.
447
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:31,852
Jasmine?
448
00:28:32,989 --> 00:28:36,025
What we need to remember here
is that humanity is at stake.
449
00:28:36,025 --> 00:28:38,995
This is clearly good vs. evil.
450
00:28:38,995 --> 00:28:41,589
Jasmine, just lighten it up a bit,
okay?
451
00:28:42,832 --> 00:28:45,601
Satan's the one
being sued, right?
452
00:28:45,601 --> 00:28:50,273
I mean, Satan's the one
being drug by this moron
453
00:28:50,273 --> 00:28:53,876
hithering on and yanked around,
jailed for courts and everything.
454
00:28:53,876 --> 00:28:56,572
Come on now,
have some empathy.
455
00:28:58,181 --> 00:29:00,081
We'll be right back after this.
456
00:29:01,417 --> 00:29:05,319
Your honor, I'd like to call John Door
of Windmile Gas to the stand.
457
00:29:05,788 --> 00:29:10,259
Objection, your honor! What is
relevance of this witness, may I ask?
458
00:29:10,259 --> 00:29:12,161
Think man, think!
459
00:29:12,161 --> 00:29:15,392
Oil company, Satan, evil!
460
00:29:21,738 --> 00:29:25,208
- You're John Door of Windmile Gas?
- Yes, I am.
461
00:29:25,208 --> 00:29:29,045
- Why are the Petro prices so high, sir?
- Are they high?
462
00:29:29,045 --> 00:29:31,147
I hadn't noticed.
463
00:29:31,147 --> 00:29:34,344
You hadn't noticed? What,
is stupid your middle name?
464
00:29:35,518 --> 00:29:36,849
Your honor!
465
00:29:37,253 --> 00:29:38,921
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
466
00:29:38,921 --> 00:29:43,126
Counsel, will you refrain from
personal attacks, am I clear?
467
00:29:43,126 --> 00:29:45,294
Yes, your honor.
I'm sorry, it slipped out.
468
00:29:45,294 --> 00:29:47,930
Your honor, I want it
noted on the record
469
00:29:47,930 --> 00:29:51,968
that that vicious unwarned
remark was not only unchristian,
470
00:29:51,968 --> 00:29:55,460
but it was vile and wicked.
471
00:29:56,939 --> 00:29:58,595
- So noted.
- Thank you.
472
00:29:58,595 --> 00:29:59,496
Continue.
473
00:29:59,496 --> 00:30:02,099
What you and every
other loser should do
474
00:30:02,099 --> 00:30:06,695
is make more money
and stop complaining.
475
00:30:07,371 --> 00:30:09,473
Why don't you just lower
the price of gas?
476
00:30:09,473 --> 00:30:13,443
Because of money. We have
to make a profit like everyone else.
477
00:30:13,443 --> 00:30:16,980
Your honor, what is the relevance
of this questioning?
478
00:30:16,980 --> 00:30:19,716
Overruled. Continue.
479
00:30:19,716 --> 00:30:22,319
Money, it's a vicious cycle.
480
00:30:22,319 --> 00:30:25,188
Your company raises the price
of oil by a few cents
481
00:30:25,188 --> 00:30:27,657
and then it says it's not
a monopoly.
482
00:30:27,657 --> 00:30:31,128
And then they take out some clever little ad
that says they're a green company
483
00:30:31,128 --> 00:30:32,996
and they're not making
any money.
484
00:30:32,996 --> 00:30:37,267
And this year alone you made
50 billion dollars!
485
00:30:37,267 --> 00:30:40,470
Money and greed,
don't you think?
486
00:30:40,470 --> 00:30:43,407
Objection! Argumentative!
487
00:30:43,407 --> 00:30:45,308
- Compound!
- Ambiguous!
488
00:30:45,308 --> 00:30:49,079
What is the purpose, Mr. O'Brien,
of this questioning?
489
00:30:49,079 --> 00:30:52,149
The purpose? To show
that the love of money
490
00:30:52,149 --> 00:30:54,777
is indeed the root
of all evil.
491
00:30:56,853 --> 00:30:59,523
- Objection again!
- Sustained.
492
00:30:59,523 --> 00:31:04,161
Counsel, will you refrain from personal
attacks, do you understand me?
493
00:31:04,161 --> 00:31:07,096
Yes, your honor, sorry.
494
00:31:11,902 --> 00:31:15,672
Mr. Door, do you believe in God?
495
00:31:15,672 --> 00:31:17,071
No.
496
00:31:18,942 --> 00:31:20,136
Thank you.
497
00:31:20,777 --> 00:31:22,979
Let's take a quick recess.
498
00:31:22,979 --> 00:31:24,414
Wow!
499
00:31:24,414 --> 00:31:28,018
Well, Tony, it appears that Luke O'Brien has
made a remarkable comeback this afternoon.
500
00:31:28,018 --> 00:31:32,122
I'm baffled by this guy, one moment
he's an idiot, the next, a genius.
501
00:31:32,122 --> 00:31:35,325
That's right. Now, I've just been
informed that we've been joined by
502
00:31:35,325 --> 00:31:39,296
20 more countries broadcasting
this event live around the world.
503
00:31:39,296 --> 00:31:43,934
They include Pakistan,
Hungary, Chile, Bolivia, Iraq,
504
00:31:43,934 --> 00:31:46,770
and Jasmine if you can
believe it or not, North Korea.
505
00:31:46,770 --> 00:31:51,341
Yeah, what this tells me, Barry, is
that there's a lot at stake in this trial,
506
00:31:51,341 --> 00:31:54,044
and my prayers are
with Luke O'Brien.
507
00:31:54,044 --> 00:31:56,413
And he'll need
a lot of prayer.
508
00:31:56,413 --> 00:31:59,041
We'll be right back
after this station break.
509
00:32:00,951 --> 00:32:03,511
That was a dirty,...
510
00:32:04,254 --> 00:32:08,358
cheap, rotten trick, O'Brien,
and you know it.
511
00:32:08,358 --> 00:32:11,328
My client has nothing to do
with the oil industry.
512
00:32:11,328 --> 00:32:15,232
Well maybe you're in denial, Murry,
but your client is Satan!
513
00:32:15,232 --> 00:32:18,201
- That ever cross your mind?
- Oh, you're so done!
514
00:32:18,201 --> 00:32:19,569
By the time I'm through with you,
515
00:32:19,569 --> 00:32:23,773
you won't even be allowed
to take the bar exam in Antarctica.
516
00:32:23,773 --> 00:32:26,071
- Mint?
- No, thank you.
517
00:32:35,719 --> 00:32:37,346
What just happened?
518
00:32:37,954 --> 00:32:41,091
Everything's okay,
I just told him off.
519
00:32:41,091 --> 00:32:43,627
- Oh, you told him off.
- Yes.
520
00:32:43,627 --> 00:32:47,290
Well, I get a sense
that we're losing.
521
00:32:47,831 --> 00:32:49,560
Look, don't worry!
522
00:32:50,367 --> 00:32:53,036
Don't you ever tell me
not to worry!
523
00:32:53,036 --> 00:32:56,699
Now you better bring him down
in the next round, or else!
524
00:32:57,474 --> 00:32:59,567
You haven't seen
my bad side!
525
00:33:00,210 --> 00:33:01,768
All rise!
526
00:33:03,013 --> 00:33:06,608
Your honor, the defense calls
Luke O'Brien to the stand.
527
00:33:07,484 --> 00:33:09,975
- Why are they calling you now?
- I have no idea.
528
00:33:16,492 --> 00:33:18,517
- Take him out.
- Yes, sir.
529
00:33:22,533 --> 00:33:26,663
Simple question, Mr. O'Brien.
Do you believe in God?
530
00:33:27,104 --> 00:33:28,806
Yes, I do.
531
00:33:28,806 --> 00:33:31,400
Do you believe in Satan?
532
00:33:31,909 --> 00:33:33,477
But of course.
533
00:33:33,794 --> 00:33:35,062
Really?
534
00:33:35,062 --> 00:33:37,865
I hold in my hand an affidavit.
535
00:33:37,865 --> 00:33:42,169
When your mother died,
a nurse heard you say,
536
00:33:42,169 --> 00:33:45,038
"God how could you
let this happen to me?"
537
00:33:45,038 --> 00:33:46,699
Did you say this?
538
00:33:47,608 --> 00:33:48,905
How's that?
539
00:33:50,944 --> 00:33:53,480
It's not great,
it's a little better.
540
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:56,483
You're so self-satisfied,
aren't you?
541
00:33:56,483 --> 00:33:59,975
I want this little pipsqueak
destroyed.
542
00:34:00,945 --> 00:34:03,214
Did you say this,
Mr. O'Brien?
543
00:34:03,214 --> 00:34:04,515
Yes, I did.
544
00:34:04,515 --> 00:34:10,387
You said, "God, how could you
let this happen to me?"
545
00:34:10,387 --> 00:34:12,651
I emphasize the word you.
546
00:34:14,655 --> 00:34:18,614
You were blaming God,
not Satan then, right?
547
00:34:22,096 --> 00:34:23,222
Order!
548
00:34:23,797 --> 00:34:28,757
Order! I will not have that
disturbance in my court, thank you.
549
00:34:31,038 --> 00:34:33,438
No further questions,
your honor.
550
00:34:38,646 --> 00:34:39,980
Order!
551
00:34:39,980 --> 00:34:41,515
Order!
552
00:34:41,515 --> 00:34:42,750
Order!
553
00:34:42,750 --> 00:34:47,988
If I hear that noise again you will be
out of this court, do you understand me?
554
00:34:47,988 --> 00:34:49,512
Thank you.
555
00:34:53,855 --> 00:34:58,693
Whoa! It looks like the jury is starting
to favor Satan amazingly enough.
556
00:34:58,907 --> 00:35:01,947
I don't know how he can just sit there
and take it from Satan's lawyers.
557
00:35:01,947 --> 00:35:04,478
Why would Satan bother
to defend himself?
558
00:35:05,104 --> 00:35:09,019
Listen meat face, maybe he had
some free time. Who knows?
559
00:35:09,405 --> 00:35:13,730
I know when someones real and not.
That guy is real. It's really Satan.
560
00:35:15,361 --> 00:35:18,211
Don't ever call me
meat face again.
561
00:35:23,351 --> 00:35:25,444
What have I got myself
into here?
562
00:35:26,755 --> 00:35:29,991
That lawyer today, you know,
he was right.
563
00:35:29,991 --> 00:35:31,652
About what?
564
00:35:32,961 --> 00:35:34,929
I did blame God...
565
00:35:35,897 --> 00:35:37,694
for my mother's death.
566
00:35:38,867 --> 00:35:41,669
You don't need to beat
yourself up about this,
567
00:35:41,669 --> 00:35:46,470
there's so many people
that question God in their life.
568
00:35:46,908 --> 00:35:48,808
Yeah, but he had me there.
569
00:35:50,445 --> 00:35:53,481
God could have easily
prevented her from dying,
570
00:35:53,481 --> 00:35:55,005
but he didn't.
571
00:36:03,892 --> 00:36:07,521
Your honor, I call Satan
to the witness stand.
572
00:36:27,182 --> 00:36:30,485
Do you swear to tell the truth the whole
truth and nothing but the truth?
573
00:36:30,485 --> 00:36:33,488
But this doesn't apply to me!
574
00:36:33,488 --> 00:36:38,326
Are you saying for religious reasons
you don't want to take the oath?
575
00:36:38,326 --> 00:36:40,954
I'm not religious.
576
00:36:46,367 --> 00:36:48,426
Do you admit you're Satan?
577
00:36:50,471 --> 00:36:55,109
I admit nothing, I see nothing,
I hear nothing.
578
00:36:55,109 --> 00:36:58,780
Do you admit that you're the
evil being that stalked Eve?
579
00:36:58,780 --> 00:37:01,316
Objection, assuming facts
not in evidence.
580
00:37:01,316 --> 00:37:03,818
It hasn't been established
that Satan is evil.
581
00:37:03,818 --> 00:37:06,955
- Also leading the witness, your honor!
- It's also irrelevant, your honor.
582
00:37:06,955 --> 00:37:11,255
How does overruled sound?
Now sit down all of you.
583
00:37:13,328 --> 00:37:16,998
I did not stalk Eve, alright?
584
00:37:16,998 --> 00:37:19,467
Actually she came to me.
585
00:37:19,467 --> 00:37:24,939
Just like you come to me, Luke,
over and over again.
586
00:37:24,939 --> 00:37:28,176
I'm sorry, I've never
come to you!
587
00:37:28,176 --> 00:37:31,179
I thought the scriptures
made it perfectly clear.
588
00:37:31,179 --> 00:37:34,876
"He who loves this world
is an enemy of God.' '"
589
00:37:35,483 --> 00:37:37,952
And I guess all those times
that you work so hard
590
00:37:37,952 --> 00:37:43,224
to buy those stupid video games
instead of praying to God.
591
00:37:43,224 --> 00:37:46,361
Oh come on!
Call a spade a spade,
592
00:37:46,361 --> 00:37:49,397
you've come to me
many times.
593
00:37:49,397 --> 00:37:52,967
I want to talk about that night
in October, at the hospital.
594
00:37:52,967 --> 00:37:55,731
The night my mother
was hit by a drunk driver.
595
00:37:56,437 --> 00:37:59,040
- I don't remember.
- Just before she died
596
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:02,677
- I know you were there.
- I don't remember.
597
00:38:02,677 --> 00:38:05,580
You don't remember? You don't
remember too much, do you?
598
00:38:05,580 --> 00:38:09,175
Well, I don't go around
thinking negative thoughts.
599
00:38:10,018 --> 00:38:12,587
Or insignificant ones.
600
00:38:12,587 --> 00:38:14,179
Insignificant?
601
00:38:14,756 --> 00:38:19,994
- My mother was not insignificant.
- Oh, I know what this is about.
602
00:38:19,994 --> 00:38:23,398
This is about the fact that
your mother died
603
00:38:23,398 --> 00:38:26,734
before you could tell her
how much you loved her.
604
00:38:26,734 --> 00:38:28,002
That's not true.
605
00:38:28,002 --> 00:38:31,806
Oh, the guilt you must
have felt being bad son.
606
00:38:31,806 --> 00:38:35,710
And what about that time you ripped her
Bible up and threw it in the trash, huh?
607
00:38:35,710 --> 00:38:40,848
Oh yeah, good going boy,
you really showed her and God.
608
00:38:40,848 --> 00:38:43,017
You stop, I'm telling you!
609
00:38:43,017 --> 00:38:45,687
- Aw Lukey!
- You stop talking about my mother!
610
00:38:45,687 --> 00:38:50,091
She must have brought you up so well
and she died so young, Lukey boy.
611
00:38:50,091 --> 00:38:51,492
- Security!
- I'll kill you!
612
00:38:51,492 --> 00:38:53,962
- Security!
- Don't talk about my mother!
613
00:38:53,962 --> 00:38:56,397
I didn't mention
your mother!
614
00:38:56,397 --> 00:38:58,833
I mean, look at this guy,
your honor, look at him!
615
00:38:58,833 --> 00:39:00,902
I mean, is that Christian like?
616
00:39:00,902 --> 00:39:02,870
Does that look like
a Christian to you?
617
00:39:02,870 --> 00:39:04,439
- Mr. O'Brien!
- I'll kill you!
618
00:39:04,439 --> 00:39:05,873
Don't you talk about
my mother!
619
00:39:05,873 --> 00:39:07,397
- Order!
- Get off!
620
00:39:08,242 --> 00:39:11,012
- Order!
- I didn't mention his mother!
621
00:39:11,012 --> 00:39:13,815
- Mr. O'Brien!
- That's no Christian!
622
00:39:13,815 --> 00:39:16,551
- That man's barbarian!
- Mr. O'Brien!
623
00:39:16,551 --> 00:39:20,388
You lose it again in my court
and I'll have you held in contempt!
624
00:39:20,388 --> 00:39:22,657
Get off me, get off me!
625
00:39:22,657 --> 00:39:25,455
- Understood?
- Yes, your honor.
626
00:39:28,229 --> 00:39:30,823
I apologize, I'm terribly sorry.
627
00:39:31,733 --> 00:39:33,668
- That's alright.
- My mother was a saint.
628
00:39:33,668 --> 00:39:35,659
Alright, apology taken.
629
00:39:36,571 --> 00:39:38,139
My mother was a saint!
630
00:39:38,139 --> 00:39:40,675
I'm sure she was.
631
00:39:40,675 --> 00:39:45,313
But it's not my fault, is it?
I mean, I'm not to blame.
632
00:39:45,313 --> 00:39:47,247
Think Luke, think.
633
00:39:47,782 --> 00:39:49,841
No further questions for now.
634
00:39:50,318 --> 00:39:54,022
- Let's all take a quick recess.
- Hey Lukey boy, Lukey!
635
00:39:54,022 --> 00:39:56,149
A quick recess!
636
00:40:04,165 --> 00:40:08,936
Remember, it's about
winning the jury, okay?
637
00:40:08,936 --> 00:40:13,873
It's like a bad dream or something,
I can't get out of.
638
00:40:15,114 --> 00:40:18,317
Well, well, well, what
do you guys make of this?
639
00:40:18,317 --> 00:40:21,154
Well, if you want my opinion,
Barry, that guy...
640
00:40:21,154 --> 00:40:24,521
is one burrito short
of a combo plate.
641
00:40:24,857 --> 00:40:29,128
Yes, but did Satan convince the jury that
he's not responsible for Mr. O'Brien's mother.
642
00:40:29,128 --> 00:40:32,331
Of course! The wimp is
blaming everybody but himself,
643
00:40:32,331 --> 00:40:34,700
it's pathetic, it's pitiful,
look at that!
644
00:40:34,700 --> 00:40:36,335
Jasmine, thoughts?
645
00:40:36,335 --> 00:40:40,406
What is this love affair with Satan?
We're talking about Lucifer here,
646
00:40:40,406 --> 00:40:42,675
the monster that brought down
all of humanity,
647
00:40:42,675 --> 00:40:45,711
and you're waxing on about Satan
having a field day, what is this?
648
00:40:45,711 --> 00:40:48,915
Alright guys, let's try to have some
civility here, let's maintain order.
649
00:40:48,915 --> 00:40:51,951
First of all,
that's not Satan.
650
00:40:51,951 --> 00:40:54,249
You know how I know that?
I've seen Satan.
651
00:40:56,355 --> 00:41:00,348
Here, you've seen Satan?
652
00:41:03,763 --> 00:41:05,731
Alright guys, excuse me.
Could we just...
653
00:41:05,731 --> 00:41:08,935
I think the audience would like
to stick to the legal issues.
654
00:41:08,935 --> 00:41:14,430
Bottom line, Barry, Luke's in over
his head and he's no match for Satan!
655
00:41:17,810 --> 00:41:20,040
Good, now what have we got?
656
00:41:20,346 --> 00:41:23,449
- Now the gloves are coming off, my friend...
- That's what I want to hear.
657
00:41:23,449 --> 00:41:28,788
That's what I want to hear.
I want you to go low, low, low.
658
00:41:28,788 --> 00:41:31,570
I want this boy destroyed.
659
00:41:31,570 --> 00:41:33,720
- He's gone.
- Yeah, good.
660
00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:35,066
He is sweet but...
661
00:41:35,066 --> 00:41:36,522
Sending some emails huh?
662
00:41:36,522 --> 00:41:37,684
Oh, spam.
663
00:41:38,257 --> 00:41:40,697
I love...
Do you love spam too?
664
00:41:40,697 --> 00:41:45,396
Okay, court is back in session.
Counsel, proceed.
665
00:41:46,737 --> 00:41:48,204
Counsel?
666
00:41:53,177 --> 00:41:56,203
Plaintiff calls Satan
to the stand.
667
00:41:59,616 --> 00:42:02,119
In the Bible,
in the book of Job,
668
00:42:02,119 --> 00:42:06,579
you attack Job both physically
and spiritually. Why is that?
669
00:42:08,125 --> 00:42:13,119
Finally, in this courtroom,
an intelligent question.
670
00:42:14,164 --> 00:42:17,467
The short answer is...
671
00:42:17,467 --> 00:42:20,265
because I wanted to test him.
672
00:42:20,971 --> 00:42:23,607
And he passed your test?
673
00:42:23,607 --> 00:42:27,711
Yes, I know it's hard to believe,
but yes, he passed.
674
00:42:27,711 --> 00:42:33,250
So doesn't that prove you're responsible
for at least one person's suffering?
675
00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:34,842
Perhaps.
676
00:42:35,552 --> 00:42:41,091
So why couldn't you be responsible
for the rest of the world's suffering too?
677
00:42:41,091 --> 00:42:44,294
Your honor, objection!
Leading the witness!
678
00:42:44,294 --> 00:42:47,457
Overruled. Witness will
answer the question.
679
00:42:49,366 --> 00:42:51,668
Look, I'm not omnipresent.
680
00:42:51,668 --> 00:42:55,272
I can't be in two places at
the same time, only God can.
681
00:42:55,272 --> 00:42:58,442
God could stop me anytime,
but he doesn't.
682
00:42:58,442 --> 00:43:01,912
Really he's the one you should be
asking these questions to.
683
00:43:01,912 --> 00:43:07,544
Oh, and by the way, what does that
tell you about the big guy upstairs?
684
00:43:07,751 --> 00:43:11,121
If he can stop evil
and doesn't,
685
00:43:11,121 --> 00:43:13,919
what does that tell you
about him?
686
00:43:14,358 --> 00:43:18,195
Well, I guess it tells me that
he's given everyone a free will.
687
00:43:18,195 --> 00:43:21,798
Objection, she can't answer
questions from the witness!
688
00:43:21,798 --> 00:43:24,868
Sustained. Please keep
your opinions to yourself.
689
00:43:24,868 --> 00:43:26,335
Of course, your honor.
690
00:43:27,571 --> 00:43:29,471
Any further questions?
691
00:43:30,507 --> 00:43:31,599
No.
692
00:43:37,180 --> 00:43:39,671
Bailiff!
Bailiff, do something!
693
00:43:41,925 --> 00:43:45,896
Stay calm everyone please,
how did it get, what?
694
00:43:45,896 --> 00:43:48,694
Bailiff, get it out of the court!
695
00:43:53,706 --> 00:43:55,508
- What's your next move?
- Hey guys,
696
00:43:55,508 --> 00:43:57,677
just a bit of time out, okay?
697
00:43:57,677 --> 00:43:59,372
I just have to use the bathroom.
698
00:44:00,213 --> 00:44:01,373
Alright.
699
00:44:12,625 --> 00:44:14,559
Are you waiting?
700
00:44:14,861 --> 00:44:16,522
Give it a few minutes.
701
00:44:17,530 --> 00:44:19,122
Bad oysters.
702
00:44:19,999 --> 00:44:22,365
Why are you here
defending yourself?
703
00:44:23,069 --> 00:44:25,401
Why are you suing me?
704
00:44:26,839 --> 00:44:29,008
Well, I didn't think
you'd show, did I?
705
00:44:29,008 --> 00:44:33,012
You didn't think I'd show?
What kind of a gutless thing is that to say?
706
00:44:33,012 --> 00:44:34,639
So why did you show?
707
00:44:35,081 --> 00:44:37,817
I'm here to defend my honor.
708
00:44:37,817 --> 00:44:40,019
Your honor?
You're a snake!
709
00:44:40,019 --> 00:44:44,590
You be careful, O'Brien, I could
sue you for liable and slander.
710
00:44:44,590 --> 00:44:47,727
Truth is the defense
against slander.
711
00:44:47,727 --> 00:44:51,330
Oh yeah, of course, I forgot
you know the law, don't you?
712
00:44:51,330 --> 00:44:54,934
Alright. Yep, you can
call me a snake.
713
00:44:54,934 --> 00:44:59,166
Actually, I think snakes are pretty cool.
Ever eaten one?
714
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:04,443
You know, what I can't figure out
is why did you turn against God.
715
00:45:04,443 --> 00:45:07,680
You were a worshipped leader,
you're a good looking angel,
716
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:08,980
and you throw it all away.
717
00:45:09,362 --> 00:45:13,099
Listen, I don't like
to dwell on the past,
718
00:45:13,099 --> 00:45:15,795
but if you're looking
for the short answer,
719
00:45:16,436 --> 00:45:19,462
I thought that I...
720
00:45:20,006 --> 00:45:21,997
could be God.
721
00:45:23,476 --> 00:45:24,844
Big mistake.
722
00:45:24,612 --> 00:45:26,313
Why aren't you afraid?
723
00:45:26,744 --> 00:45:28,512
Afraid? Afraid of what?
724
00:45:28,512 --> 00:45:32,683
Well, I am the guy who sent
Jesus Christ to be crucified.
725
00:45:32,683 --> 00:45:35,586
- Think about that.
- Ah, think again!
726
00:45:35,586 --> 00:45:38,255
See, Jesus willingly
went to the cross
727
00:45:38,255 --> 00:45:42,326
and that was the biggest
mistake of your life, pal.
728
00:45:42,326 --> 00:45:46,319
Do you remember the
Garden of Gethsemane?
729
00:45:46,864 --> 00:45:51,824
All the disciples were asleep,
he had no one to turn to.
730
00:45:52,903 --> 00:45:57,374
He still went through with it!
I mean, it's unbelievable!
731
00:45:57,374 --> 00:46:01,812
Yeah, what a great guy.
That's why I owe him big.
732
00:46:01,812 --> 00:46:06,450
Listen you chomp, chomp,
you're going to lose this case,
733
00:46:06,450 --> 00:46:09,286
you're going to be the laughing
stalk of the word! I mean...
734
00:46:09,286 --> 00:46:11,288
little kids are going
to point at you and go,
735
00:46:11,288 --> 00:46:14,724
"isn't that the moron
who tried to sue Satan?"
736
00:46:17,394 --> 00:46:20,297
Listen, don't talk to that little
punk without me present.
737
00:46:20,297 --> 00:46:21,765
Do not. Please.
738
00:46:21,765 --> 00:46:25,702
- Is everything under control, Mr. Banks?
- Of course it is.
739
00:46:25,702 --> 00:46:28,136
Remember, we don't lose ever.
740
00:46:28,806 --> 00:46:33,743
Good. Don't ever
say lose to me!
741
00:46:38,449 --> 00:46:39,882
Have a nice day.
742
00:46:44,521 --> 00:46:46,557
Am I right in saying that...
743
00:46:46,557 --> 00:46:51,392
you dropped out of school because
you couldn't stand the pressure?
744
00:46:52,896 --> 00:46:54,198
Yes.
745
00:46:54,198 --> 00:46:58,235
And that was Satan's fault?
746
00:46:58,235 --> 00:47:00,471
No, that was mine.
747
00:47:00,471 --> 00:47:02,272
- It was yours.
- Yeah.
748
00:47:02,272 --> 00:47:05,709
And presently you're
studying at Billy's...
749
00:47:05,709 --> 00:47:08,512
Counsel, please keep
your hands off the witness.
750
00:47:08,512 --> 00:47:11,849
Your honor, I'm sorry, he just
reminds me of my son.
751
00:47:11,849 --> 00:47:12,816
That's...
752
00:47:12,816 --> 00:47:19,346
So how does Billy's College of
night law compare with other colleges?
753
00:47:20,524 --> 00:47:21,923
How would I know?
754
00:47:22,359 --> 00:47:26,663
Well, I went to Harvard law school,
how does it compare with that?
755
00:47:26,663 --> 00:47:28,465
Objection!
756
00:47:28,465 --> 00:47:30,968
You're objecting to
your own counsel?
757
00:47:30,968 --> 00:47:34,738
Your honor, I'd like to rebuke
my own counsel if I may.
758
00:47:34,738 --> 00:47:37,605
Please, come here!
759
00:47:39,142 --> 00:47:41,678
How dare you ridicule that man
in front of everybody?
760
00:47:41,678 --> 00:47:45,249
- I was just trying to point out...
- Who cares if you're from Harvard?
761
00:47:45,249 --> 00:47:50,454
Big deal! Nobody cares, listen to me now,
because I'm the boss, not you.
762
00:47:50,454 --> 00:47:54,324
We're here representing that man
over there. This is not your show.
763
00:47:54,324 --> 00:47:56,326
So you know what?
Get out!
764
00:47:56,326 --> 00:47:58,089
- What?
- You're fired!
765
00:48:02,799 --> 00:48:07,204
Your honor, excuse me for
my outburst, I am truly sorry.
766
00:48:07,204 --> 00:48:11,308
If it pleases the court I would like
to replace counsel with co-counsel.
767
00:48:11,308 --> 00:48:14,545
- The lovely Ms. Scarlett.
- Substitution granted.
768
00:48:14,545 --> 00:48:17,275
- Thank you.
- Continue with the questioning, please.
769
00:48:24,655 --> 00:48:26,088
Nice trick.
770
00:48:26,590 --> 00:48:28,990
You ain't seen nothing yet.
771
00:48:30,761 --> 00:48:33,363
We're losing the case Luke.
Do you realize that?
772
00:48:33,363 --> 00:48:35,465
Yeah, I noticed.
773
00:48:35,465 --> 00:48:38,923
I can't believe the jury
is on Satan's side!
774
00:48:39,436 --> 00:48:42,773
Gosh, I'm going to go down as
the worst lawyer in the history of law.
775
00:48:42,773 --> 00:48:45,142
Luke, he's deceiving the jury.
776
00:48:45,142 --> 00:48:46,843
Yeah, he sure is.
777
00:48:46,843 --> 00:48:49,713
I know that,
he even tricked me.
778
00:48:49,713 --> 00:48:51,738
What am I suppose to do?
779
00:48:53,283 --> 00:48:55,419
- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.
780
00:48:55,419 --> 00:48:56,753
- You sure?
- Yeah.
781
00:48:56,753 --> 00:49:00,450
- Are you ready to do this the Lord's way?
- The Lord's way?
782
00:49:01,191 --> 00:49:05,028
That's what I think I've been doing, I'm
suing the devil in case you haven't noticed.
783
00:49:05,028 --> 00:49:07,230
For who's gain?
Yours or his?
784
00:49:07,230 --> 00:49:11,633
Honey, it's a little more complicated
than that, you wouldn't understand.
785
00:49:11,835 --> 00:49:14,738
You know, guys, it's funny,
because most people
786
00:49:14,738 --> 00:49:18,175
are in a spiritual battle
every single day of their life
787
00:49:18,175 --> 00:49:22,980
and they just go about their busy lives never
fulfilling what God really intended for them.
788
00:49:22,980 --> 00:49:24,748
Meaning?
789
00:49:24,748 --> 00:49:29,419
Meaning that Satan doesn't care
about those who are too busy for God,
790
00:49:29,419 --> 00:49:32,820
he only cares about those
who are too busy for Satan.
791
00:49:34,558 --> 00:49:37,083
- Good morning.
- Are you at the witness stand today?
792
00:49:37,761 --> 00:49:40,430
I would just like to say,
my statement is this:
793
00:49:40,430 --> 00:49:45,435
This trial has been made out
to be a trial of good vs. evil.
794
00:49:45,435 --> 00:49:49,473
Now I have nothing personal
against Mr. Luke O'Brien,
795
00:49:49,473 --> 00:49:52,542
he's a misguided
Bible thumper, that's all.
796
00:49:52,542 --> 00:49:55,705
Anyway, we'll have a
good contest, thank you.
797
00:49:57,403 --> 00:49:59,605
Mr. Satan, sir, can you tell us
what hell is like?
798
00:49:59,605 --> 00:50:03,234
Oh yes, it's very warm there.
Why, do you want to come and see?
799
00:50:03,709 --> 00:50:05,677
If you're Satan,
than prove it.
800
00:50:09,615 --> 00:50:11,048
What happened to him?
801
00:50:33,038 --> 00:50:35,040
Hey blind man,
802
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:37,509
you really think
the end is near?
803
00:50:37,509 --> 00:50:41,001
I believe Jesus is
coming back soon, yes.
804
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:45,517
- And why is that?
- I may be blind, but I can see.
805
00:50:45,517 --> 00:50:48,621
The book of Luke says,
"Watch out so you are not deceived,"
806
00:50:48,621 --> 00:50:51,457
for many will come in my name
claiming I am he,
807
00:50:51,457 --> 00:50:54,393
- Yeah, yeah, thank you.
- The time is near.
808
00:50:54,393 --> 00:50:59,698
Then he said to them, the nation will rise
against nation, kingdom against kingdom,
809
00:50:59,698 --> 00:51:04,370
there will be great earthquakes,
famine and diseases in various places.' '
810
00:51:04,370 --> 00:51:08,807
Oh, I truly believe that
we are the last generation.
811
00:51:17,149 --> 00:51:21,220
Congratulations sir, it's looking
like a slam dunk to me.
812
00:51:21,220 --> 00:51:23,889
Oh really, a slam dunk?
813
00:51:23,889 --> 00:51:27,092
- Is something wrong?
- No, no.
814
00:51:27,092 --> 00:51:31,130
Do you remember seeing
that blind guy outside?
815
00:51:31,130 --> 00:51:34,500
- Blind guy?
- Yeah, I wonder where he went.
816
00:51:34,500 --> 00:51:37,403
Look, we've got
this jury locked.
817
00:51:37,403 --> 00:51:41,006
The way this case is done
if we don't screw it up, okay?
818
00:51:41,006 --> 00:51:43,634
- Oh, we've got them locked, huh?
- Locked.
819
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:46,145
You know,
820
00:51:46,145 --> 00:51:48,981
I think we're going to have
to alter course.
821
00:51:48,981 --> 00:51:50,915
All rise!
822
00:52:02,189 --> 00:52:04,282
Can you explain evil to me?
823
00:52:05,692 --> 00:52:07,421
Did you hear my question?
824
00:52:08,028 --> 00:52:09,086
Yes.
825
00:52:10,130 --> 00:52:11,392
Well?
826
00:52:12,432 --> 00:52:15,731
Evil is good.
827
00:52:17,871 --> 00:52:20,863
Did you just say
that evil is good?
828
00:52:21,475 --> 00:52:24,211
You still don't get it,
do you?
829
00:52:24,211 --> 00:52:26,680
There wouldn't be good
without evil
830
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:30,217
and conversely, there wouldn't be
evil without good.
831
00:52:30,217 --> 00:52:31,852
Well, then Ezekiel...
832
00:52:31,852 --> 00:52:33,587
- Ezekiel?
- Yeah.
833
00:52:33,587 --> 00:52:36,156
- Oh one of my favorites.
- Oh yeah.
834
00:52:36,156 --> 00:52:37,896
He says a nice one about you.
835
00:52:37,991 --> 00:52:38,605
So what?
836
00:52:39,105 --> 00:52:41,184
So what? So you thought
you were God,
837
00:52:41,184 --> 00:52:44,176
and that was a little bit silly,
wasn't it?
838
00:52:45,655 --> 00:52:49,326
What kind of a question is that,
your honor?
839
00:52:49,326 --> 00:52:50,520
Your honor!
840
00:52:51,194 --> 00:52:54,531
- Who is Jesus Christ to you?
- I'm sorry?
841
00:52:54,531 --> 00:52:57,567
I said, who is Jesus Christ?
842
00:52:57,567 --> 00:52:59,836
Your honor, what's that
got to do with anything?
843
00:52:59,836 --> 00:53:01,605
Objection, your honor, come on!
844
00:53:01,605 --> 00:53:05,275
- Where are we going with this?
- Overruled. Proceed.
845
00:53:05,275 --> 00:53:06,576
Your honor, please...
846
00:53:06,576 --> 00:53:10,213
Will you sit your jack
in the box face down!
847
00:53:10,213 --> 00:53:11,407
Got it?
848
00:53:11,982 --> 00:53:13,609
Thank you, counsel.
849
00:53:14,885 --> 00:53:17,945
Who is Jesus Christ?
850
00:53:21,825 --> 00:53:24,089
Witness will answer
the question.
851
00:53:24,628 --> 00:53:25,788
Yes, your honor.
852
00:53:26,596 --> 00:53:27,893
Jesus Christ.
853
00:53:28,665 --> 00:53:29,689
Fine.
854
00:53:31,835 --> 00:53:34,504
He was a good teacher,
that's it, nothing more!
855
00:53:34,504 --> 00:53:38,308
He was a good teacher? I don't
recall him saying anything like that.
856
00:53:38,308 --> 00:53:40,844
Alright, he said he was God.
857
00:53:40,844 --> 00:53:44,147
- I'm sorry, what's he said?
- Big deal!
858
00:53:44,147 --> 00:53:45,415
You heard me.
859
00:53:45,415 --> 00:53:49,146
He said that he was what? Could you repeat
that again for the jury and the court?
860
00:53:49,953 --> 00:53:51,488
Did you get that?
861
00:53:51,488 --> 00:53:55,825
I am not repeating it, if you've got
wax in your ears clean them out.
862
00:53:55,825 --> 00:54:00,785
But the biggest mistake you made
was crucifying him, isn't that right?
863
00:54:01,364 --> 00:54:03,500
You'd better watch
your mouth, boy.
864
00:54:03,500 --> 00:54:06,060
You thought you had it all
figured out, didn't you?
865
00:54:08,572 --> 00:54:11,769
You watch your mouth, boy.
866
00:54:14,377 --> 00:54:18,336
Look around you.
What do you see?
867
00:54:34,731 --> 00:54:39,794
Is that right? Why don't you look around?
What do you see?
868
00:54:48,178 --> 00:54:49,813
Who are you?
869
00:54:49,813 --> 00:54:52,749
I am a believer
in Jesus Christ
870
00:54:52,749 --> 00:54:55,843
and a lover of God, and
that's all I have to be.
871
00:54:56,853 --> 00:55:00,345
Excuse me, Mr. O'Brien,
any further questions?
872
00:55:00,657 --> 00:55:05,595
Wow, wow! So here we go, another turn
of events. What do you make of this?
873
00:55:05,595 --> 00:55:09,395
What we're seeing I don't think
we'll witness again in our lifetime.
874
00:55:09,933 --> 00:55:11,332
What just happened?
875
00:55:12,702 --> 00:55:14,397
Dropping loser!
876
00:55:15,171 --> 00:55:19,665
Alright, gloves are off.
From now on, hardball.
877
00:55:24,112 --> 00:55:26,273
Where did that come from?
878
00:55:27,248 --> 00:55:28,613
I don't know.
879
00:55:30,151 --> 00:55:31,277
It's like...
880
00:55:31,527 --> 00:55:32,892
Hold on a second.
881
00:55:36,665 --> 00:55:37,689
Hey.
882
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:41,043
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
883
00:55:41,043 --> 00:55:43,011
I just got a headache.
884
00:55:44,079 --> 00:55:45,478
Don't worry.
885
00:55:46,649 --> 00:55:49,516
Quiet in the courts, all rise.
886
00:55:50,653 --> 00:55:52,587
Court is in session.
887
00:55:53,256 --> 00:55:54,746
You may be seated.
888
00:55:59,895 --> 00:56:04,525
Mr. O'Brien, have you
ever done Internet porn?
889
00:56:08,270 --> 00:56:11,068
- Yes.
- How many times?
890
00:56:13,842 --> 00:56:15,510
I don't know.
891
00:56:16,895 --> 00:56:23,001
Mr. O'Brien, did you or
did you not use the "F" word
892
00:56:23,001 --> 00:56:24,769
when somebody cut you off
on the freeway last week?
893
00:56:24,769 --> 00:56:27,539
Objection! This is hearsay,
your honor!
894
00:56:27,539 --> 00:56:30,008
Where did you find
this information?
895
00:56:30,144 --> 00:56:33,281
- Did you use...
- Yes! Yes I did.
896
00:56:33,281 --> 00:56:38,019
- Look, this guy cut me off...
- Yes or no, Mr. O'Brien?
897
00:56:38,019 --> 00:56:39,387
Yes.
898
00:56:39,195 --> 00:56:42,199
- How's that for low blows?
- Not low enough.
899
00:56:43,904 --> 00:56:44,995
How low should we go?
900
00:56:47,564 --> 00:56:50,772
Go as low as hell.
901
00:57:01,060 --> 00:57:02,721
Mr. O'Brian,
902
00:57:03,662 --> 00:57:07,325
do you know what
audacious means, Mr O'Brian?
903
00:57:08,067 --> 00:57:09,159
Yes.
904
00:57:09,661 --> 00:57:15,233
Don't you find it audacious to waste
the time of these precious jurors
905
00:57:15,233 --> 00:57:18,532
with your frivolous lawsuit?
906
00:57:21,807 --> 00:57:22,707
No.
907
00:57:22,707 --> 00:57:27,546
How can you sit there with
that smug look on your face
908
00:57:27,546 --> 00:57:30,115
and have no shame?
909
00:57:30,115 --> 00:57:34,519
Objection he's...
scolding the witness!
910
00:57:34,519 --> 00:57:38,757
Scolding the witness? What does that mean?
I've never even heard of that objection.
911
00:57:38,757 --> 00:57:41,885
Did you also learn that at
Billy Simon's night law school?
912
00:57:44,855 --> 00:57:50,088
And did you use a racist
remark last week?
913
00:57:53,464 --> 00:57:55,227
Yes.
914
00:57:55,632 --> 00:57:58,802
- What did you say?
- I don't remember.
915
00:57:58,802 --> 00:58:00,963
And when did you become
a Christian again?
916
00:58:02,005 --> 00:58:06,343
Listen, I accepted Jesus Christ
into my heart 7 years ago.
917
00:58:06,343 --> 00:58:08,545
7 years!
918
00:58:08,545 --> 00:58:12,538
And still using profanity
and making racist remarks.
919
00:58:15,285 --> 00:58:16,809
No further questions.
920
00:58:17,554 --> 00:58:19,823
Mr. O'Brien, what other racist
things have you said?
921
00:58:19,823 --> 00:58:23,627
- Are you a racist?
- Are you a member of the KKK?
922
00:58:23,627 --> 00:58:26,396
What kind of person are you?
You call yourself a Christian?
923
00:58:26,396 --> 00:58:27,865
Excuse me.
924
00:58:27,865 --> 00:58:30,129
How does it feel to be
on the losing side?
925
00:58:31,168 --> 00:58:32,692
Is it true you're filing
for divorce?
926
00:58:34,671 --> 00:58:37,741
Have you ever been
so down.
927
00:58:37,741 --> 00:58:41,078
You had no had nowhere else
to go but up?
928
00:58:41,078 --> 00:58:42,909
Dear Lord God,
929
00:58:44,148 --> 00:58:47,640
I realize I blamed
everyone but myself.
930
00:58:48,118 --> 00:58:53,023
I even blamed Satan,
but I couldn't see my own faults,
931
00:58:53,023 --> 00:58:55,492
my own flesh.
932
00:58:55,492 --> 00:58:58,395
Forgive me, Lord.
Forgive me!
933
00:58:58,395 --> 00:59:01,296
Because of all the people
on this Earth,
934
00:59:01,798 --> 00:59:04,790
I am truly the biggest
hypocrite
935
00:59:05,469 --> 00:59:07,437
and the worst sinner.
936
00:59:10,340 --> 00:59:14,545
Give me another chance
to do the right thing the right way,
937
00:59:14,545 --> 00:59:17,309
your way, your will.
938
00:59:18,415 --> 00:59:20,576
I want to win this case.
939
00:59:25,022 --> 00:59:29,159
Barry, most of the legal experts
pretty much agree that this case is over.
940
00:59:29,159 --> 00:59:32,696
Luke O'Brien lost the jury
and lost the case.
941
00:59:32,696 --> 00:59:35,566
Amazing, so his past
came back to haunt him.
942
00:59:35,566 --> 00:59:37,201
Yes, it did.
943
00:59:37,201 --> 00:59:39,436
Alright, let's go to Mark,
live in London.
944
00:59:39,436 --> 00:59:43,099
Mark, what is the consensus
of the people there in England?
945
00:59:43,674 --> 00:59:49,046
Barry, most people I've spoken to, all agree
that Luke O'Brien is a hypocrite.
946
00:59:49,046 --> 00:59:52,641
He's suing the devil
when he should be suing himself.
947
00:59:59,356 --> 01:00:02,192
God anointed
Jesus of Nazareth
948
01:00:02,192 --> 01:00:05,929
with the Holy Spirit and power,
and he went around doing good
949
01:00:05,929 --> 01:00:09,466
and healing all who were
under the power of the devil,
950
01:00:09,466 --> 01:00:10,490
what is...
951
01:00:11,935 --> 01:00:14,838
- What does that mean to you?
- Wow, you're amazing,
952
01:00:14,838 --> 01:00:18,205
you just spout this stuff
all day long, don't you?
953
01:00:19,977 --> 01:00:21,878
What does it mean to me?
954
01:00:21,878 --> 01:00:26,178
Absolutely zip, zilch, zippo.
955
01:00:27,684 --> 01:00:33,590
The thief he cometh but for
to steal to kill and to destroy.
956
01:00:33,590 --> 01:00:38,687
I'll tell you what, though. I wish
I had the power to make you disappear.
957
01:00:39,062 --> 01:00:42,088
You are boring me to death!
958
01:00:42,599 --> 01:00:46,865
And Jesus was referring to you,
so I question...
959
01:00:48,005 --> 01:00:50,902
how many people
have you killed?
960
01:00:51,041 --> 01:00:54,161
Alright, alright.
Let's do the totally here.
961
01:00:55,156 --> 01:00:58,726
According to the Bible,
I killed 10 people.
962
01:00:58,726 --> 01:01:00,661
Job's family, that's it!
963
01:01:00,661 --> 01:01:03,197
But how many people has
God killed in the flood?
964
01:01:03,197 --> 01:01:06,567
Some estimates over
100 million people!
965
01:01:06,567 --> 01:01:10,171
- Why can't you just be truthful?
- You want the truth?
966
01:01:10,171 --> 01:01:13,197
You can't handle the truth!
967
01:01:14,976 --> 01:01:16,577
Order!
968
01:01:16,577 --> 01:01:19,102
I can handle the truth.
969
01:01:22,249 --> 01:01:25,419
You know, Jesus said,
970
01:01:25,419 --> 01:01:29,947
"I cometh so they might have
an abundance of life."
971
01:01:31,892 --> 01:01:35,396
He also said,
"I am the good shepherd,
972
01:01:35,396 --> 01:01:38,957
and the good shepherd
giveth his life for the sheep."
973
01:01:40,007 --> 01:01:44,912
Would you give your life for
a human being as Jesus did?
974
01:01:44,912 --> 01:01:46,812
Certainly not.
975
01:01:47,782 --> 01:01:49,550
Humans are trash.
976
01:01:49,550 --> 01:01:52,075
I'm just the trash collector.
977
01:01:53,654 --> 01:01:56,724
- Well put, Satan.
- Your honor, I don't think we can keep...
978
01:01:56,724 --> 01:01:58,759
Sit down!
979
01:01:58,759 --> 01:02:02,530
Why do you get so upset when
I mention the name Jesus Christ?
980
01:02:02,530 --> 01:02:05,533
Why don't you ask me
something fun? Like death?
981
01:02:05,533 --> 01:02:06,775
Ask me about death, come on!
982
01:02:06,775 --> 01:02:08,610
How many people do you think are going to hell?
983
01:02:09,352 --> 01:02:11,354
I don't know.
You keep score, tell me.
984
01:02:11,354 --> 01:02:15,158
Over 2 billion people, according
to the book of Revelations.
985
01:02:15,158 --> 01:02:18,395
- What do you say about that?
- That man is wicked,
986
01:02:18,395 --> 01:02:21,531
God is just, and you're
partially to blame.
987
01:02:21,531 --> 01:02:25,335
Oh yeah, you ever been
to hell, boy?
988
01:02:25,335 --> 01:02:27,270
Not a fun place.
989
01:02:27,270 --> 01:02:28,229
That's too bad, huh?
990
01:02:28,700 --> 01:02:30,930
Because that's
where you're going!
991
01:02:37,910 --> 01:02:39,070
Order!
992
01:02:39,378 --> 01:02:41,778
Let's recess for 15 minutes.
993
01:02:51,456 --> 01:02:54,254
- That was amazing.
- Yeah.
994
01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:56,621
What's next?
995
01:02:58,363 --> 01:03:01,059
- We're going to need some more witnesses.
- Right.
996
01:03:02,067 --> 01:03:03,295
Okay.
997
01:03:06,772 --> 01:03:08,364
Pastor Pringle,
998
01:03:09,608 --> 01:03:11,405
is it all God's fault?
999
01:03:12,144 --> 01:03:14,746
Well, not his fault.
1000
01:03:14,746 --> 01:03:18,917
He is the original
creator of everything.
1001
01:03:18,917 --> 01:03:21,353
However He gave us
our free will
1002
01:03:21,353 --> 01:03:24,845
so that we become
free to choose.
1003
01:03:25,490 --> 01:03:26,792
That's all.
1004
01:03:26,792 --> 01:03:28,953
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
1005
01:03:32,698 --> 01:03:35,567
- Pastor Pringle, isn't it?
- Right.
1006
01:03:35,567 --> 01:03:41,096
So let me get this correct. You're
saying that God allows this freewill
1007
01:03:42,674 --> 01:03:46,044
for every man to chose
between Satan and God.
1008
01:03:46,044 --> 01:03:49,414
- Right.
- So if I was to walk up to Mr. O'Brien right now
1009
01:03:49,414 --> 01:03:53,350
and punch him in the face,
would that be my own free will?
1010
01:03:55,220 --> 01:03:57,889
- Right.
- Alright.
1011
01:03:57,889 --> 01:04:02,794
So it's not Satan's fault then, if
we're to follow this line of reasoning.
1012
01:04:02,794 --> 01:04:06,999
Well, Satan comes to kill,
steal and destroy.
1013
01:04:06,999 --> 01:04:11,937
And it's clear from scripture he's
behind all the world's problems.
1014
01:04:11,937 --> 01:04:17,933
However we become responsible in our
foreign state when we yield a temptation.
1015
01:04:19,177 --> 01:04:20,474
Thank you.
1016
01:04:24,850 --> 01:04:26,408
Pastor Philips,
1017
01:04:27,552 --> 01:04:32,190
could you prove to me in 30 seconds
or less that God exists?
1018
01:04:32,190 --> 01:04:34,593
- Objection!
- Overruled.
1019
01:04:34,593 --> 01:04:36,395
The witness can answer.
1020
01:04:36,395 --> 01:04:40,432
Prove in 30 seconds that God exists?
I can do that in one sentence.
1021
01:04:40,432 --> 01:04:44,129
Something cannot come out
of nothing, it's impossible.
1022
01:04:44,603 --> 01:04:48,767
There you have it, something cannot
come out of nothing. How true?
1023
01:04:49,541 --> 01:04:54,379
We can explain where life began,
we can explain where thoughts began,
1024
01:04:54,379 --> 01:04:57,082
but we cannot prove
a moral conscious.
1025
01:04:57,082 --> 01:04:59,818
This is what truly
perplexes scientists
1026
01:04:59,818 --> 01:05:01,854
and also proves
the existence of God.
1027
01:05:02,355 --> 01:05:06,359
- And what is Satan's mission?
- Oh, I think that's plain in scripture.
1028
01:05:06,359 --> 01:05:10,496
He's come to steal,
to kill, and destroy.
1029
01:05:10,954 --> 01:05:13,456
You can't put a price
on the damage he's done,
1030
01:05:13,456 --> 01:05:16,653
but humans are responsible
for their own souls.
1031
01:05:16,654 --> 01:05:19,190
- Is there a hell?
- Yes indeed.
1032
01:05:19,190 --> 01:05:22,897
And everyday people have the opportunity
to go to either heaven or hell.
1033
01:05:23,271 --> 01:05:24,355
Thank you.
1034
01:05:25,679 --> 01:05:30,083
Alright guys, this thing keeps going back
like an Olympic ping pong match.
1035
01:05:30,083 --> 01:05:32,419
Tony, who's winning?
1036
01:05:32,419 --> 01:05:34,521
It's really hard to say,
it really is,
1037
01:05:34,521 --> 01:05:38,525
but it was brilliant on his part bringing all
these distinguished men up to the stand.
1038
01:05:38,525 --> 01:05:43,530
I would say O'Brien
is winning at this point,
1039
01:05:43,530 --> 01:05:46,199
and seems to be able to carry it
all the way through.
1040
01:05:46,199 --> 01:05:50,295
Me too! The jury is going
with O'Brien all the way!
1041
01:05:53,307 --> 01:05:55,542
- I'm a little concerned, sir.
- A little?
1042
01:05:55,542 --> 01:05:59,479
Gentlemen, we are losing this case. I think
we need a serious change of counsel...
1043
01:05:59,479 --> 01:06:02,312
Who do you think
you're talking to?
1044
01:06:03,083 --> 01:06:07,120
You think you're it, don't you? Because
you went to Stanford law school, huh?
1045
01:06:07,120 --> 01:06:10,824
And you work at a top firm?
Yeah, you don't know jack, boy.
1046
01:06:10,824 --> 01:06:12,951
And that goes for you too!
1047
01:06:13,727 --> 01:06:16,363
Listen, you better win this case,
I'm telling you.
1048
01:06:16,363 --> 01:06:19,232
I'm going to make my priority
to come after you night and day
1049
01:06:19,232 --> 01:06:22,895
in this world and in hell, you got it?
Now get out of here! Get out!
1050
01:06:27,207 --> 01:06:29,539
Don't you ever get tired
of being the bully?
1051
01:06:30,577 --> 01:06:34,314
You know, I really don't understand
you and your wife, I mean,
1052
01:06:34,314 --> 01:06:39,119
you're either super crazy or super stupid
to want to go up against me.
1053
01:06:39,119 --> 01:06:41,521
I have no fear of you anymore.
1054
01:06:41,521 --> 01:06:44,424
Yeah, you may be more powerful
on this earth than me,
1055
01:06:44,424 --> 01:06:47,628
but Jesus is infinitely
more powerful than you.
1056
01:06:47,628 --> 01:06:49,963
You're banging the
Bible again, huh?
1057
01:06:49,963 --> 01:06:55,094
Yeah, yeah. Well, maybe you should
ask God to cure Gwen's brain cancer then.
1058
01:07:00,540 --> 01:07:03,008
- What?
- Oh!
1059
01:07:03,877 --> 01:07:06,580
Didn't she tell you?
Oh yeah.
1060
01:07:06,580 --> 01:07:10,984
Oh, that's a shame.
No, she's got brain cancer.
1061
01:07:10,984 --> 01:07:13,714
She's only got 5 months to live.
1062
01:07:14,154 --> 01:07:17,424
- You're lying.
- Oh yeah. I'm lying.
1063
01:07:17,424 --> 01:07:20,994
I know, well, I'm Satan, I mean,
Satan always lies, don't he?
1064
01:07:20,994 --> 01:07:25,590
I tell you what, why don't you
ask her yourself, huh?
1065
01:07:38,945 --> 01:07:42,049
Everyone needs compassion,
1066
01:07:42,049 --> 01:07:45,416
love that's never failing.
1067
01:07:47,789 --> 01:07:50,986
- Gwen, I've got to ask you something.
- What?
1068
01:07:51,693 --> 01:07:53,854
And you've got to be
honest with me, alright?
1069
01:07:58,299 --> 01:08:00,096
Are you sick, honey?
1070
01:08:05,061 --> 01:08:07,120
Are you dying of cancer?
1071
01:08:12,739 --> 01:08:15,640
You just had so much
on your plate.
1072
01:08:16,275 --> 01:08:19,769
You know what, I want you
to do this trial, okay?
1073
01:08:21,315 --> 01:08:23,417
I want you to win it!
1074
01:08:23,417 --> 01:08:25,681
Do you hear me?
I want you to win it!
1075
01:08:29,090 --> 01:08:30,489
I love you.
1076
01:08:33,527 --> 01:08:34,858
Oh babe,
1077
01:08:35,563 --> 01:08:37,360
I love you so much.
1078
01:08:42,870 --> 01:08:44,531
All rise!
1079
01:08:48,142 --> 01:08:49,700
You may be seated.
1080
01:08:52,913 --> 01:08:54,949
Counsel, do you have
something to say?
1081
01:08:54,949 --> 01:08:58,486
Your honor, we ask the court
to give us a continuance
1082
01:08:58,486 --> 01:09:01,478
and suspend this trial
immediately!
1083
01:09:02,690 --> 01:09:03,884
Order!
1084
01:09:04,458 --> 01:09:06,327
Counsel, on what grounds?
1085
01:09:06,327 --> 01:09:10,093
Your honor, this man
is not Satan.
1086
01:09:12,533 --> 01:09:14,235
Order!
1087
01:09:14,235 --> 01:09:17,505
Counsel, do you realize
what you're saying?
1088
01:09:17,505 --> 01:09:21,776
The fact that he has admitted
he's Satan is unequivocal.
1089
01:09:21,776 --> 01:09:28,349
Your honor, according to
international rules section 666,
1090
01:09:28,349 --> 01:09:31,986
the trial can't continue if there's
any question of true identity.
1091
01:09:31,986 --> 01:09:35,022
Section 666, I have
never heard of it.
1092
01:09:35,022 --> 01:09:38,480
It's in your rule book,
page 341.
1093
01:09:42,229 --> 01:09:45,790
666, there it is.
1094
01:09:47,068 --> 01:09:49,503
Counsel for the plaintiff,
any comment?
1095
01:09:49,503 --> 01:09:53,207
Your honor, it has been
established that he is Satan.
1096
01:09:53,207 --> 01:09:56,510
No, it has not been
established, your honor.
1097
01:09:56,510 --> 01:09:59,213
Especially in light of new
revelations about our client.
1098
01:09:59,213 --> 01:10:02,083
Oh! Let's break!
1099
01:10:02,083 --> 01:10:05,314
Counsel, I want to see all of you
in my chambers now.
1100
01:10:09,290 --> 01:10:11,058
This is preposterous!
1101
01:10:11,058 --> 01:10:12,693
I could have you
disbarred for this!
1102
01:10:12,693 --> 01:10:16,197
Your honor, we've just been alerted to the fact
that our client is not who he says he is.
1103
01:10:16,197 --> 01:10:17,932
- He's not Satan!
- What are you saying?
1104
01:10:17,932 --> 01:10:21,902
He's insane, we represented him
to the best of our ability
1105
01:10:21,902 --> 01:10:23,571
and he fooled us.
1106
01:10:23,571 --> 01:10:26,307
Oh, he fooled you,
he fooled you!
1107
01:10:26,307 --> 01:10:29,577
Aren't you supposed to be
the top law firm in the world?
1108
01:10:29,577 --> 01:10:32,880
- Was he fooling about paying as well?
- Your honor, he is not insane.
1109
01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:34,615
I'll be the judge of that,
thank you.
1110
01:10:34,615 --> 01:10:38,185
We ask that the entire case
be dismissed on lack of person.
1111
01:10:38,185 --> 01:10:41,922
- And under international rule 393...
- Oh, don't you tell me the rules!
1112
01:10:41,922 --> 01:10:46,727
This case will continue, but I will
allow proof of identity to be granted.
1113
01:10:46,727 --> 01:10:49,697
You have to prove that
that man in there is really Satan.
1114
01:10:49,697 --> 01:10:51,632
- Your honor, that just not...
- Oh, stop it,
1115
01:10:51,632 --> 01:10:53,667
- and get back into court all of you!
- Thank you, your honor.
1116
01:10:53,667 --> 01:10:55,601
Good luck with that.
1117
01:10:59,288 --> 01:11:01,557
For what it's worth,
1118
01:11:01,557 --> 01:11:03,492
you stood up for
what you believe in
1119
01:11:03,492 --> 01:11:06,495
and you took all
that public humiliation.
1120
01:11:06,495 --> 01:11:08,864
You never caved in.
1121
01:11:08,864 --> 01:11:11,458
I really, really respect that.
1122
01:11:13,603 --> 01:11:15,271
Thanks, I just...
1123
01:11:15,271 --> 01:11:18,331
I wish there was someway
to prove that this guy is the devil.
1124
01:11:18,741 --> 01:11:20,072
I know.
1125
01:11:22,945 --> 01:11:24,037
You okay?
1126
01:11:24,413 --> 01:11:26,881
- I'm good.
- Thank you.
1127
01:11:32,855 --> 01:11:35,157
- How are you?
- I'm okay, how are you?
1128
01:11:35,157 --> 01:11:36,556
I'm good.
1129
01:11:37,526 --> 01:11:40,086
I really thought I had
this guy, you know?
1130
01:11:40,663 --> 01:11:43,029
He's just too smart.
1131
01:11:43,866 --> 01:11:48,030
You're dealing with a force
that's beyond your comprehension.
1132
01:11:48,771 --> 01:11:51,934
Luke, God is still in control.
1133
01:11:52,942 --> 01:11:54,933
Yeah, it just feels kind of...
1134
01:11:55,878 --> 01:11:57,446
Say that again.
1135
01:11:57,446 --> 01:12:01,382
God is in control, Luke.
God is in control!
1136
01:12:02,451 --> 01:12:05,388
- Remember that.
- I love you.
1137
01:12:05,388 --> 01:12:06,878
I love you.
1138
01:12:08,357 --> 01:12:09,881
Alright.
1139
01:12:15,197 --> 01:12:19,861
Your honor, plaintiffs would like
to call Satan back to the witness stand.
1140
01:12:34,884 --> 01:12:36,112
Hi.
1141
01:12:36,519 --> 01:12:37,781
Hi.
1142
01:12:38,921 --> 01:12:43,449
Why did you tell the court
and this jury that you were Satan?
1143
01:12:45,127 --> 01:12:47,730
Actually, if my memory
serves me correctly,
1144
01:12:47,730 --> 01:12:51,167
I don't think I ever said I was Satan.
You're the one who said it
1145
01:12:51,167 --> 01:12:54,003
You answered every question
as if you were Satan.
1146
01:12:54,003 --> 01:12:58,133
Yeah, well, somebody's got to defend him,
may as well have been me, right?
1147
01:12:59,041 --> 01:13:00,269
Order!
1148
01:13:01,043 --> 01:13:02,845
What do you do for a living?
1149
01:13:02,845 --> 01:13:05,681
I sell used cars,
and new ones, yeah.
1150
01:13:05,681 --> 01:13:07,616
Come see me, I'll give you
a special rate.
1151
01:13:07,616 --> 01:13:09,051
Really?
1152
01:13:09,051 --> 01:13:11,420
Anyone else too,
special rate.
1153
01:13:11,420 --> 01:13:14,190
How about that, folks?
That's really cute.
1154
01:13:14,190 --> 01:13:16,292
This is all just one big joke
for you, isn't it?
1155
01:13:16,292 --> 01:13:20,429
Well, come on, we all had
a few laughs, right? I mean,
1156
01:13:20,429 --> 01:13:22,832
I had my 15 minutes,
you had yours,
1157
01:13:22,832 --> 01:13:26,068
we both went home happy
and entertained, right?
1158
01:13:26,068 --> 01:13:30,039
I mean, that's why you sued
Satan in the first place, right?
1159
01:13:30,039 --> 01:13:31,336
No.
1160
01:13:32,041 --> 01:13:34,874
You're a rational person,
are you not?
1161
01:13:36,278 --> 01:13:39,645
Yes. A re you?
1162
01:13:42,251 --> 01:13:45,482
You wouldn't do anything out of the
ordinary in this courtroom, would you?
1163
01:13:46,155 --> 01:13:49,249
There's nothing ordinary
in this courtroom.
1164
01:13:50,693 --> 01:13:51,990
Order!
1165
01:13:52,461 --> 01:13:54,764
- Sorry, your honor.
- What I mean is...
1166
01:13:54,764 --> 01:13:58,300
now that you've revealed that
you're really a used car salesmen,
1167
01:13:58,300 --> 01:13:59,368
Right, right.
1168
01:13:59,368 --> 01:14:02,667
You wouldn't wig out or
anything crazy, would you?
1169
01:14:03,706 --> 01:14:06,175
- I don't think so.
- No, you wouldn't do anything strange
1170
01:14:06,175 --> 01:14:09,478
- in front of this jury, would you?
- Certainly not, no.
1171
01:14:09,478 --> 01:14:13,616
No, after all, now you claim
that you're not Satan.
1172
01:14:13,616 --> 01:14:16,318
Alright, listen. We had
our fun, right? Now...
1173
01:14:16,318 --> 01:14:18,921
- Now you just hold on a minute, pal.
- Whoa, don't...
1174
01:14:18,921 --> 01:14:21,536
- What is... No, no, no.
- Oh, I got your attention now, haven't I?
1175
01:14:21,536 --> 01:14:25,707
- Well, I've got something special in here for you.
- I'm sure you do.
1176
01:14:25,707 --> 01:14:29,609
- James, chapter 4, verse 7.
- Oh, no.
1177
01:14:30,879 --> 01:14:34,015
Submit yourselves
then to God,
1178
01:14:34,015 --> 01:14:38,076
resist the devil and
he will flee from you.
1179
01:14:39,054 --> 01:14:43,252
Come near to God and
He will come near to you.
1180
01:14:43,692 --> 01:14:46,828
Wash your hands,
you sinners,
1181
01:14:46,828 --> 01:14:50,365
and purify your hearts,
you devil minded people.
1182
01:14:50,365 --> 01:14:53,068
Have you finished?
Oh, no. No.
1183
01:14:53,068 --> 01:14:58,106
And by the power and the truth
of these scriptures,
1184
01:14:58,106 --> 01:15:00,973
and in the name of Jesus Christ,
1185
01:15:01,943 --> 01:15:04,605
get thee behind me, Satan!
1186
01:15:05,213 --> 01:15:06,305
I'm sorry?
1187
01:15:06,948 --> 01:15:08,784
I said,
1188
01:15:08,784 --> 01:15:14,120
get thee behind me, Satan!
In the name of Jesus Christ!
1189
01:15:17,526 --> 01:15:22,554
Excuse me, Satan, get back
into the witness stand.
1190
01:15:25,133 --> 01:15:27,269
- Sorry.
- That was unusual.
1191
01:15:27,269 --> 01:15:29,971
I was... I'm just nauseated,
your honor.
1192
01:15:29,971 --> 01:15:32,166
Do you do that all the time?
1193
01:15:33,608 --> 01:15:36,144
I bet you get a lot
of laughs, huh?
1194
01:15:36,144 --> 01:15:38,280
You couldn't really be Satan,
1195
01:15:38,280 --> 01:15:42,317
after all, the Bible clearly states that,
if you resist the devil,
1196
01:15:42,317 --> 01:15:44,285
he will flee from you.
1197
01:15:46,922 --> 01:15:49,624
- But that doesn't apply to you, does it?
- No.
1198
01:15:49,624 --> 01:15:51,460
I... I'm used...
1199
01:15:51,460 --> 01:15:56,420
Get thee behind me Satan!!!
1200
01:15:59,968 --> 01:16:04,573
Hey, I've got a proposition
for you, buddy.
1201
01:16:04,573 --> 01:16:07,943
Come on, Lukey Dukey.
How about it?
1202
01:16:07,943 --> 01:16:12,280
I give you everything in this life
you could possibly want.
1203
01:16:12,280 --> 01:16:16,284
Riches, a beautiful estate,
horses, huh?
1204
01:16:16,284 --> 01:16:19,187
What will it cost me?
My soul?
1205
01:16:19,187 --> 01:16:22,624
Oh yes, just your soul,
it's nothing. Your soul...
1206
01:16:22,624 --> 01:16:25,961
Oh, you can take that offer
and shove it up your...
1207
01:16:25,961 --> 01:16:27,262
Order!
1208
01:16:27,262 --> 01:16:30,356
Get back into the
witness stand, sir!
1209
01:16:31,066 --> 01:16:33,735
Well, that was very irrational.
1210
01:16:33,735 --> 01:16:38,306
In fact, you look pretty
stupid to me now.
1211
01:16:38,306 --> 01:16:40,672
What do you think
about that?
1212
01:16:44,145 --> 01:16:47,249
Can you please get back
into the witness stand?
1213
01:16:47,249 --> 01:16:49,317
Will you shut up?
1214
01:16:49,317 --> 01:16:52,320
I haven't finished yet, shut up!
Shut your mouth!
1215
01:16:52,320 --> 01:16:56,224
And you, what are you
looking at, huh?
1216
01:16:56,224 --> 01:16:57,816
Something funny?
1217
01:16:58,126 --> 01:17:00,562
I know all about you.
1218
01:17:00,562 --> 01:17:03,932
I know all your secrets, yeah.
1219
01:17:03,932 --> 01:17:06,501
- You're gamblers, you're sex addicts...
- Will the witness...
1220
01:17:06,501 --> 01:17:08,436
- Shut up!
- Mr. defendant...
1221
01:17:08,436 --> 01:17:10,071
- Shut up!
- Will you take the witness stand...
1222
01:17:10,071 --> 01:17:12,107
- Sit down!
- Where you are asked to.
1223
01:17:12,107 --> 01:17:13,870
- Take your...
- SHUT UP!
1224
01:17:20,215 --> 01:17:22,951
I know all about you,
all of you.
1225
01:17:22,951 --> 01:17:24,976
I'm watching you.
1226
01:17:27,722 --> 01:17:30,125
You want to know the truth?
1227
01:17:30,125 --> 01:17:34,357
The real, honest,
gut level truth?
1228
01:17:36,264 --> 01:17:40,235
I take sheer delight...
1229
01:17:40,235 --> 01:17:43,204
in creating havoc
in the world.
1230
01:17:43,705 --> 01:17:46,708
Pitting rich against the poor,
1231
01:17:46,708 --> 01:17:48,410
race against race,
1232
01:17:48,410 --> 01:17:51,746
country against country,
man against man,
1233
01:17:51,746 --> 01:17:54,237
but, most especially,
1234
01:17:55,216 --> 01:17:58,014
man against God.
1235
01:17:59,087 --> 01:18:01,419
God, oh yeah.
1236
01:18:02,223 --> 01:18:05,215
God, God. Yeah, God.
1237
01:18:08,029 --> 01:18:11,089
Do you know
what God invented?
1238
01:18:11,866 --> 01:18:15,804
I mean, come on, most of you
are too stupid to figure it out.
1239
01:18:15,804 --> 01:18:20,742
God created the oceans
and the stars,
1240
01:18:20,742 --> 01:18:23,945
he created compassion,
mercy and...
1241
01:18:23,945 --> 01:18:26,915
stupid things like love.
1242
01:18:26,915 --> 01:18:30,251
He created good health,
raindrops,
1243
01:18:30,251 --> 01:18:33,118
and the scent of jasmine.
1244
01:18:33,788 --> 01:18:36,519
Do you know what I created, huh?
Do you?
1245
01:18:36,944 --> 01:18:40,247
I created noise,
1246
01:18:40,247 --> 01:18:43,050
and like the dumb idiots you are,
you worshipped it!
1247
01:18:43,050 --> 01:18:45,886
Humans loved the noise
I created!
1248
01:18:45,886 --> 01:18:48,522
Car alarms, motorcycles,
leaf blowers,
1249
01:18:48,522 --> 01:18:51,492
night clubs, gangster rap,
techno music,
1250
01:18:51,492 --> 01:18:54,595
everything that creates noise
I invented.
1251
01:18:54,595 --> 01:18:56,296
And you know what?
1252
01:18:56,296 --> 01:19:00,255
Noise drowns out
any thoughts of God.
1253
01:19:03,837 --> 01:19:05,572
What's the matter?
1254
01:19:05,572 --> 01:19:08,973
Don't you love the music of hell?
1255
01:19:13,113 --> 01:19:16,283
Let me let you in
on a little secret.
1256
01:19:16,283 --> 01:19:19,787
I invented customer service.
1257
01:19:19,787 --> 01:19:22,881
Automated answering,
you're looking at it.
1258
01:19:23,357 --> 01:19:25,791
Unjust notice?
It's from me.
1259
01:19:26,627 --> 01:19:29,926
A huge unjust bill,
that's from me.
1260
01:19:30,264 --> 01:19:31,765
A parking ticket?
1261
01:19:31,765 --> 01:19:36,336
I own all the utility companies, all the
gas companies and all the parking meters.
1262
01:19:36,336 --> 01:19:39,773
Who do you think gives you the parking
tickets, anyway? I do it to rile you,
1263
01:19:39,773 --> 01:19:42,765
because I hate
your stinking guts!
1264
01:19:51,151 --> 01:19:55,679
You humans, you're pathetic.
1265
01:19:56,557 --> 01:19:59,259
You know, I can tempt you
with a candy bar
1266
01:19:59,259 --> 01:20:02,786
and you'll sell out Jesus Christ
in a millisecond.
1267
01:20:03,597 --> 01:20:04,998
I mean...
1268
01:20:04,998 --> 01:20:09,536
people are being massacred in Rwanda,
and you yawn.
1269
01:20:09,536 --> 01:20:11,972
People starving in Haiti,
1270
01:20:11,972 --> 01:20:14,942
and you put a buck
into the collection plate.
1271
01:20:14,942 --> 01:20:16,877
Losers!
1272
01:20:16,877 --> 01:20:20,040
What a bunch of losers!
1273
01:20:33,594 --> 01:20:34,959
War!
1274
01:20:36,063 --> 01:20:38,699
Do you know most wars
are started because of land?
1275
01:20:38,699 --> 01:20:41,835
Can you believe that?
Land issues, yeah!
1276
01:20:41,835 --> 01:20:45,038
And yet, 75% of all land
isn't occupied,
1277
01:20:45,038 --> 01:20:46,840
even in the United States!
1278
01:20:46,840 --> 01:20:49,610
Oh yeah, I know,
I started wars,
1279
01:20:49,610 --> 01:20:53,671
but it takes nitwits like you
to finish what I started!
1280
01:21:03,056 --> 01:21:07,861
I need people who care about
really dumb political issues.
1281
01:21:07,861 --> 01:21:10,230
Left wing vs. Right wing,
1282
01:21:10,230 --> 01:21:14,257
it's all a distraction,
don't you get it?
1283
01:21:16,603 --> 01:21:18,730
You know, you people,
1284
01:21:19,740 --> 01:21:23,343
you believe in God like
I believe in the tooth fairy.
1285
01:21:23,343 --> 01:21:25,212
Oh, by the way,
1286
01:21:25,212 --> 01:21:27,247
I love how I'm portrayed
in the media.
1287
01:21:27,247 --> 01:21:29,983
That little cartoon guy
with the pitchfork
1288
01:21:29,983 --> 01:21:32,850
and the horns
and the tail.
1289
01:21:36,690 --> 01:21:41,286
You humans, you're so stupid.
1290
01:21:42,496 --> 01:21:46,262
You're like a bunch of little
hamsters running on a wheel.
1291
01:21:46,867 --> 01:21:51,099
You know, everyday
there's people that die,
1292
01:21:51,905 --> 01:21:53,540
and guess what?
1293
01:21:53,540 --> 01:21:57,144
They're in just two places,
and they're not really dead.
1294
01:21:57,144 --> 01:22:01,415
They're either alive in heaven
or alive in hell.
1295
01:22:01,415 --> 01:22:02,712
You pick.
1296
01:22:11,925 --> 01:22:15,295
Do you know what
my ultimate goal is?
1297
01:22:15,295 --> 01:22:20,028
It's to take all you nitwits
to hell with me!
1298
01:22:20,734 --> 01:22:24,534
Yeah, well, as the world's coming
to an end, huh? Better be quick!
1299
01:22:25,505 --> 01:22:30,033
I suppose you're wondering
why I do what I do.
1300
01:22:31,778 --> 01:22:33,575
It's very easy, really.
1301
01:22:34,881 --> 01:22:40,153
It's because I hate
your stinking guts!
1302
01:22:40,153 --> 01:22:46,023
I hate every single
one of you!
1303
01:23:00,207 --> 01:23:01,572
Have a nice day.
1304
01:23:10,530 --> 01:23:12,098
Your honor,
1305
01:23:12,098 --> 01:23:16,302
we ask the court to please disregard
the complete statement of our client.
1306
01:23:16,302 --> 01:23:19,339
He made it under complete
duress from opposing counsel
1307
01:23:19,339 --> 01:23:22,875
and under civil
procedure code 598.91,
1308
01:23:22,875 --> 01:23:25,578
he cannot be tried
in this court.
1309
01:23:25,696 --> 01:23:30,099
The state of our client's
mental health, he's crazy.
1310
01:23:32,200 --> 01:23:35,804
Because I do not want
this case appealed,
1311
01:23:35,804 --> 01:23:38,874
the testimony will be stricken
from the record.
1312
01:23:38,874 --> 01:23:40,442
Oh, your honor, I...
1313
01:23:40,442 --> 01:23:43,645
And I am to instruct all of you
in the following.
1314
01:23:43,645 --> 01:23:46,014
You will not take
into consideration
1315
01:23:46,014 --> 01:23:49,751
any of what the defendant
blurted out.
1316
01:23:49,751 --> 01:23:52,788
Only what you have
heard and seen
1317
01:23:52,788 --> 01:23:57,693
and witnessed from the facts
and testimonies of the witnesses.
1318
01:23:57,693 --> 01:23:59,354
Am I clear?
1319
01:24:02,631 --> 01:24:05,725
Counsel for the defense, closing?
1320
01:24:10,439 --> 01:24:12,873
Distinguished members
of the jury,
1321
01:24:13,542 --> 01:24:15,644
let's take a moment
and think about...
1322
01:24:15,644 --> 01:24:20,707
what type of man it would take
to sue someone for 8 trillion dollars.
1323
01:24:22,651 --> 01:24:26,154
Self centered,
and egotistical,
1324
01:24:26,154 --> 01:24:30,859
an attention seeking man who simply
cannot move on from his own past.
1325
01:24:30,859 --> 01:24:34,429
Now as charismatic
as my client can seem,
1326
01:24:34,429 --> 01:24:38,627
as much as he wants to play this up
in the courtroom, he is mentally ill.
1327
01:24:39,801 --> 01:24:41,632
He is demented,
1328
01:24:42,504 --> 01:24:44,339
he needs help,
1329
01:24:44,339 --> 01:24:45,966
he needs pity,
1330
01:24:47,109 --> 01:24:48,736
not a lawsuit.
1331
01:24:50,312 --> 01:24:53,982
And he is no where closer
to being connected to all the evil,
1332
01:24:53,982 --> 01:24:55,650
to being Satan himself
1333
01:24:55,650 --> 01:24:59,609
than this apple to being the
very one that Eve took a bite from
1334
01:25:00,021 --> 01:25:01,648
in the Garden of Eden.
1335
01:25:02,724 --> 01:25:04,926
So I'm asking you
1336
01:25:04,926 --> 01:25:06,985
to make an opinion today,
1337
01:25:07,729 --> 01:25:11,825
and just as any sane,
logical individual would do,
1338
01:25:12,601 --> 01:25:14,762
they'll find my client...
1339
01:25:17,439 --> 01:25:19,207
not guilty.
1340
01:25:19,207 --> 01:25:22,665
And now Mr. O'Brien, closing?
1341
01:25:24,479 --> 01:25:26,106
Mr. O'Brien?
1342
01:25:37,793 --> 01:25:41,463
Satan has brought up
my past.
1343
01:25:41,463 --> 01:25:42,987
And he's right.
1344
01:25:43,799 --> 01:25:46,131
I've done some
horrendous things.
1345
01:25:47,269 --> 01:25:50,102
I've said some
horrible cruel things.
1346
01:25:52,007 --> 01:25:56,501
And I ask the forgiveness
of those I have hurt.
1347
01:25:58,079 --> 01:25:59,671
Everyday...
1348
01:26:00,949 --> 01:26:03,076
there is a war within me.
1349
01:26:03,852 --> 01:26:06,688
I know what I should do.
1350
01:26:06,688 --> 01:26:08,815
Sometimes I don't do that.
1351
01:26:10,025 --> 01:26:12,527
I know what I shouldn't do.
1352
01:26:12,527 --> 01:26:14,995
Sometimes I do that instead.
1353
01:26:15,597 --> 01:26:21,092
But that's the battle of choosing
between good and evil.
1354
01:26:21,870 --> 01:26:25,499
Between God and Satan.
1355
01:26:27,242 --> 01:26:29,767
Everyday it's a struggle
1356
01:26:30,846 --> 01:26:33,713
to live a life that
honors Jesus Christ.
1357
01:26:35,083 --> 01:26:38,348
But when you give your life
over to Jesus,
1358
01:26:39,120 --> 01:26:42,248
well, you're a new person.
1359
01:26:45,727 --> 01:26:50,096
Satan's mission is to destroy
the work of God.
1360
01:26:52,033 --> 01:26:55,992
We, humans,
are the work of God.
1361
01:26:58,106 --> 01:27:01,735
We make mistakes,
and He forgives us.
1362
01:27:04,279 --> 01:27:08,511
Let's not allow Satan
to take that away from us.
1363
01:27:09,484 --> 01:27:11,543
Make him pay...
1364
01:27:12,787 --> 01:27:15,722
for his attempts at
destroying our lives.
1365
01:27:16,458 --> 01:27:18,926
Punish him for his hate.
1366
01:27:19,427 --> 01:27:23,420
And cherish God
for his love
1367
01:27:24,599 --> 01:27:26,590
and his forgiveness.
1368
01:27:29,371 --> 01:27:33,341
See, the greatest trick
the Devil ever pulled
1369
01:27:33,341 --> 01:27:36,674
was convincing the world
he didn't exist.
1370
01:27:39,047 --> 01:27:42,278
But that illusion
is no more.
1371
01:27:44,152 --> 01:27:45,119
Thank you.
1372
01:27:47,188 --> 01:27:49,179
All rise!
1373
01:28:13,481 --> 01:28:15,717
Do you have a verdict?
1374
01:28:15,717 --> 01:28:16,918
Yes, your honor.
1375
01:28:16,918 --> 01:28:19,688
The jury finds in favor
of the plaintiff
1376
01:28:19,688 --> 01:28:22,156
for 8 trillion dollars.
1377
01:28:42,477 --> 01:28:43,739
Order!
1378
01:28:44,112 --> 01:28:45,511
Order!
1379
01:28:45,747 --> 01:28:48,773
And Satan, you can go
straight to hell!
1380
01:29:06,534 --> 01:29:08,303
Tasheila Jones,
Channel 2 News,
1381
01:29:08,303 --> 01:29:11,033
and we're outside here,
the verdict's just been announced!
1382
01:29:11,706 --> 01:29:13,475
How do you feel
about the verdict?
1383
01:29:13,475 --> 01:29:14,643
It's a fantastic result!
1384
01:29:14,643 --> 01:29:16,975
Luke fought for what he wanted
and he won, he got it!
1385
01:29:31,026 --> 01:29:32,994
What do you want,
you little pipsqueak?
1386
01:29:32,994 --> 01:29:34,496
Can I have your autograph?
1387
01:29:34,496 --> 01:29:37,294
Are you kidding me?
Get a life!
1388
01:29:39,834 --> 01:29:41,495
Order!
1389
01:29:42,203 --> 01:29:43,227
Order!
1390
01:29:57,652 --> 01:30:00,789
Oh, you're up now!
It's been a long night.
1391
01:30:00,789 --> 01:30:03,758
- What?
- How did you get in here, sir?
1392
01:30:04,893 --> 01:30:07,162
I don't know, I've been
sleeping here all night, I think.
1393
01:30:07,162 --> 01:30:09,964
Yes. Well, I didn't want
to wake, you, but...
1394
01:30:09,964 --> 01:30:13,092
you were saying,
"get behind me, Satan.' '"
1395
01:30:13,802 --> 01:30:15,133
Get b...
1396
01:30:15,670 --> 01:30:17,806
Oh, I must have been dreaming!
1397
01:30:17,806 --> 01:30:21,003
Yes, well, don't study too hard.
1398
01:30:32,120 --> 01:30:36,191
Girls! Girls, it's a new day,
1399
01:30:36,191 --> 01:30:38,318
it's a new day!
1400
01:30:46,601 --> 01:30:48,091
Gwen?
1401
01:30:49,437 --> 01:30:51,639
- Gwen?
- Luke?
1402
01:30:51,639 --> 01:30:54,109
- Where were you?
- Babe, are you sick?
1403
01:30:54,109 --> 01:30:57,812
No. I'm not sick! Where were you,
you didn't even call me last night!
1404
01:30:57,812 --> 01:31:00,215
I'm sorry, honey, I'm sorry.
Look, I went to the library
1405
01:31:00,215 --> 01:31:01,549
- and I fell asleep.
- The library?
1406
01:31:01,549 --> 01:31:04,786
I fell asleep, I had a dream
and you were sick and I didn't...
1407
01:31:04,786 --> 01:31:06,521
and you didn't tell me
in the dream,
1408
01:31:06,521 --> 01:31:09,791
- and then you had cancer and then...
- Cancer?
1409
01:31:09,791 --> 01:31:13,461
- Are you sick? Are you telling me the truth?
- No, I am okay, but...
1410
01:31:13,461 --> 01:31:17,332
you know, I thought you were going
to kill the guy that killed your mom!
1411
01:31:17,332 --> 01:31:21,002
Babe, no. No, no, you got
to hear me out, I had this...
1412
01:31:21,002 --> 01:31:24,005
dream, there was the devil,
was in it and I beat him
1413
01:31:24,005 --> 01:31:25,695
and I sued him in court
and I won.
1414
01:31:26,822 --> 01:31:28,724
I found the peace, Hun.
1415
01:31:28,724 --> 01:31:31,627
I found my peace, I found God.
God, I found him!
1416
01:31:31,627 --> 01:31:34,653
And you know what? I'm going to
forgive him. I'm going to forgive him!
1417
01:31:34,869 --> 01:31:36,336
It's a new day.
1418
01:31:36,938 --> 01:31:38,599
It's a new day.
1419
01:31:39,065 --> 01:31:43,002
And so I start the first day
of my new life.
1420
01:31:43,002 --> 01:31:47,273
A life that will obey the Lord
and shun the enemy.
1421
01:31:47,273 --> 01:31:51,175
It feels wonderful.
Thank you, God.
1422
01:31:52,568 --> 01:31:55,270
You want to be big, Luke?
1423
01:31:55,270 --> 01:31:57,472
You're not a loser.
1424
01:31:57,472 --> 01:32:00,375
You want to make
lots of money, Luke?
1425
01:32:00,375 --> 01:32:02,935
You are not a loser.
1426
01:32:03,278 --> 01:32:05,581
You're not a loser,
are you?
1427
01:32:05,581 --> 01:32:07,947
Think about Gwen!
1428
01:32:08,250 --> 01:32:11,620
You have no authority
over me, Satan.
1429
01:32:11,620 --> 01:32:13,455
You got that?
1430
01:32:13,455 --> 01:32:15,190
Who are you?
1431
01:32:15,190 --> 01:32:18,626
I am a believer
in Jesus Christ.
1432
01:32:22,931 --> 01:32:28,470
♪ Saviour, He can
move the mountains. ♪
1433
01:32:28,470 --> 01:32:32,107
♪ My God is Mighty to save. ♪
1434
01:32:32,107 --> 01:32:35,844
♪ He is Mighty to save. ♪
1435
01:32:35,844 --> 01:32:41,550
♪ Forever Author of salvation, ♪
1436
01:32:41,550 --> 01:32:45,287
♪ He rose and
conquered the grave. ♪
1437
01:32:45,287 --> 01:32:49,451
♪ Jesus conquered the grave. ♪
1438
01:33:03,939 --> 01:33:07,476
♪ So take me as You find me, ♪
1439
01:33:07,476 --> 01:33:10,741
♪ all my fears and failures. ♪
1440
01:33:12,381 --> 01:33:16,681
♪ Fill my life again. ♪
1441
01:33:17,085 --> 01:33:23,923
♪ I give my life to follow
everything I believe in. ♪
1442
01:33:25,093 --> 01:33:30,299
♪ Now I surrender. ♪
1443
01:33:30,299 --> 01:33:33,700
♪ I surrender. ♪
1444
01:33:35,170 --> 01:33:40,709
♪ Saviour, He can
move the mountains. ♪
1445
01:33:40,709 --> 01:33:44,413
♪ My God is Mighty to save. ♪
1446
01:33:44,413 --> 01:33:48,050
♪ He is Mighty to save. ♪
1447
01:33:48,050 --> 01:33:53,855
♪ Forever Author of salvation, ♪
1448
01:33:53,855 --> 01:33:57,526
♪ He rose and
conquered the grave. ♪
1449
01:33:57,526 --> 01:34:01,430
♪ Jesus conquered the grave. ♪
1450
01:34:01,430 --> 01:34:06,969
♪ Saviour, He can
move the mountains. ♪
1451
01:34:06,969 --> 01:34:10,706
♪ My God is Mighty to save. ♪
1452
01:34:10,706 --> 01:34:14,409
♪ He is Mighty to save. ♪
1453
01:34:14,409 --> 01:34:20,115
♪ Forever Author of salvation, ♪
1454
01:34:20,115 --> 01:34:23,785
♪ He rose and
conquered the grave. ♪
1455
01:34:23,785 --> 01:34:28,813
♪ Jesus conquered the grave. ♪
1456
01:34:41,269 --> 01:34:46,575
♪ Shine your light and
let the whole world see. ♪
1457
01:34:46,575 --> 01:34:53,348
♪ We're singing for the glory
of the risen King, ♪
1458
01:34:53,348 --> 01:34:54,449
♪ Jesus. ♪
1459
01:34:54,449 --> 01:34:59,721
♪ Shine your light and
let the whole world see. ♪
1460
01:34:59,721 --> 01:35:07,229
♪ We're singing for the glory
of the risen King. ♪
1461
01:35:07,229 --> 01:35:12,701
♪ Saviour, He can
move the mountains. ♪
1462
01:35:12,701 --> 01:35:16,371
♪ My God is Mighty to save. ♪
1463
01:35:16,371 --> 01:35:20,108
♪ He is Mighty to save. ♪
1464
01:35:20,108 --> 01:35:25,781
♪ Forever Author of salvation, ♪
1465
01:35:25,781 --> 01:35:29,484
♪ He rose and
conquered the grave. ♪
1466
01:35:29,484 --> 01:35:33,355
♪ Jesus conquered the grave. ♪
1467
01:35:33,355 --> 01:35:38,894
♪ Saviour, He can
move the mountains. ♪
1468
01:35:38,894 --> 01:35:42,597
♪ My God is Mighty to save. ♪
1469
01:35:42,597 --> 01:35:46,301
♪ He is Mighty to save. ♪
1470
01:35:46,301 --> 01:35:52,040
♪ Forever Author of salvation, ♪
1471
01:35:52,040 --> 01:35:55,710
♪ He rose and
conquered the grave. ♪
1472
01:35:55,710 --> 01:35:59,874
♪ Jesus conquered the grave. ♪
1473
01:36:00,082 --> 01:36:05,387
♪ Shine your light and
let the whole world see. ♪
1474
01:36:05,387 --> 01:36:12,194
♪ We're singing for the glory
of the risen King, ♪
1475
01:36:12,194 --> 01:36:13,395
♪ Jesus. ♪
1476
01:36:13,395 --> 01:36:18,500
♪ Shine your light and
let the whole world see. ♪
1477
01:36:18,500 --> 01:36:25,273
♪ We're singing for the glory
of the risen King, ♪
1478
01:36:25,273 --> 01:36:26,541
♪ Jesus. ♪
1479
01:36:26,541 --> 01:36:31,713
♪ Shine your light and
let the whole world see. ♪
1480
01:36:31,713 --> 01:36:38,487
♪ We're singing for the glory
of the risen King, ♪
1481
01:36:38,487 --> 01:36:39,654
♪ Jesus. ♪
1482
01:36:39,654 --> 01:36:44,860
♪ Shine your light and
let the whole world see. ♪
1483
01:36:44,860 --> 01:36:51,566
♪ We're singing for the glory
of the risen King, ♪
1484
01:36:51,566 --> 01:36:52,634
♪ Jesus. ♪
1485
01:36:52,634 --> 01:36:57,906
♪ Shine your light and
let the whole world see. ♪
1486
01:36:57,906 --> 01:37:04,713
♪ We're singing for the glory
of the risen King, ♪
1487
01:37:04,713 --> 01:37:05,780
♪ Jesus. ♪
1488
01:37:05,780 --> 01:37:11,184
♪ Shine your light and
let the whole world see. ♪