SMALL SMALL CITIES
Good...
So, what do you think about is sex?
His head is full of sex thoughts.
Gritt, let's let Ib answer for herself. I think Ib can.
Well, answer yourself, Ib. Tells Aniannani that your head is full of sex.
No, no, sometimes I have other thoughts in my head If I ask him to water the plants, he gets into trouble.
- Oh? - He can't even reach the window sill.
Gosh.
That's only because I think she's very beautiful.
Well, that's great, Gritt. No?
You have a man who wants you. I'm sure many women will be jealous of you.
Sure, but everything has about sex all the time?
Public domains are packed with sex.
- You can't even open a magazine. - No...
If I'm online to find a good offer, I get a wiener image.
Yuckie.
And if you can't even go to your own house - and lie down on your own bed without Faced with sex there too...
Where will the devil end?
Hi, you are hot ass.
Hi.
So, who are you?
Oh, I'm just an Ingrid donkey.
I see.
How do you want me to grope you?
Now, please.
Stop talking to my ass as if it's a pet You will confuse Little Per.
You make me nervous It hurts, Edward.
Why do you have to practice? Are the pants dancing every night?
Fancy-pants dance? Salsa is an art form.
But again, your head is not filled with art but rock wool, more like that.
When was the last time we made love? When is it
- Do you know your Danish history? - Sure. I live with Human Grauballe.
- The swamp's body has more sex than me. - Call Ib.
- I'm not in the mood to have sex with Ib. - Don't you have to go to work?
You and pound and your wieners
Maybe they will let you have gone after work.
Don't be shy about being a man.
But I think about sex all the time.
That's because you never lay.
If you do that, you won't do it think all the time
It's like breathing.
If you are sitting on a submarine running out of oxygen -
- You will think about breathing all the time.
Women don't understand Sex is our way of breathing.
Our dick is a bit like our third lung.
Gritt still wants to have children, but I'm not interested in that
Of course not. They go up to bed and lie in the gap.
Children are bullshit. There is no positive side. Not at all.
Nothing can be done with Ingrid. He doesn't want to have sex.
Even if I promise it only takes 15 seconds.
So, the problem at home?
Bricks are in the back, Mrs. Hansen. This is a bull's burden.
But aren't bricks always available?
Bricks are not just bricks, like I have said before.
- I just need a new wall. - Right, and Rome is built in a day.
I forgot to clean Thank you for reminding me, Mrs. Hansen.
Thank you very much.
There are two types of customers.
With one type, You are only in it for cool cash.
With other types, like you, You put your heart into it.
- And finish the job! - Yes, of course.
Van Gogh doesn't paint for the money. He painted with his heart.
Are you sure you have time for this
Hey, there's our radio and stuff.
We won't leave the radio and our items here if we don't work here
I have been talking on the phone all morning about the brick
We almost gave up on you, But then, your radio and stuff are here.
- Honestly, do you have time for this? - No...
- Look, Steen. - Henrik.
There are two types of customers. With one type, you are in it for cash.
- With others, you put this into it. - Your heart.
That's what you said a month ago.
I think you want the bill handled under the table.
Don't they want the bill handled under the table? I think so
But, Steen, we will do it with books. Do not worry.
This will hurt you, but if you want to upgrade to Business Class -
- we will do it. We can upgrade Steen and Pernille to Business Class right?
Sure. You can sit in front with champagne and silver everywhere.
No, no, it's not like that What we want, right, Henrik?
No no.
- Let's just wait - Or we can wait. Anything you want.
We have filled out the book for the next six months. How many jobs were not announced?
Only about half a million kroner.
Ingrid is pretending otherwise.
- Several times can I slip in - vice versa?
He pretended he didn't come, but he did. I know he will come, Ib.
He put his hand in his mouth and thought I didn't realize it.
But he is fine. He came with difficulty.
- But why did he do that? - So I won't see me giving pleasure.
Oh no, Heinz.
Hey, Laurel and Hardy. Hans and Fritz.
Or what is the name of two people from Dumb and Dumber?
- Harry and Lloyd - Exactly. How is life, Harry and Lloyd?
Be careful or you might shoot yourself in the thigh with that thing
This is... is Korth Combat. 357 Magnum
That is also another name. "Responsible".
Responsibility to ensure citizens can sleep at night
- do you sneak in. - Terrorists don't sleep at night.
Some people must be vigilant, 24-7.
You might ask well: What will happen to Nibe?
We go to work, watch X Factor, drive scummy cars and eat moist sandwiches.
Peace and calm everywhere.
But that's just what they want us to believe Nibe doesn't even appear in Google Earth.
This is one big gray pixel. Small A yellow person cannot move an inch.
After all, what will the terrorists blow up? Local bus stop
- What do you need for all the radios? - You can learn a lot from the radio.
I just checked your tax return.
Your little giant from a company Must be the money.
- 125,000 kroner a year. - A lot?
Not bad.
You're frigging miserably Your wife drives a Mercedes and dances with high heels with Malte -
- when you sit here looks like a some of the early retirees from Bulgaria.
Stupid and more stupid. Don't make me laugh.
Your right tail light goes out. Have a nice day.
Come here, my angel. Come.
We may be in a small town, but we don't think small -
- because of the negative salsa.
Understanding? When we shake We booties for salsa at Nibe -
- they shuffle their booties for salsa in Cuba or Rio -
- in exactly the same way.
We are a big family. One big pulse -
- beat deep inside us -
- male and female.
We started this class When fate took me to Nibe.
And I see all these withered Danes under the gray sky
Then something happened.
Suddenly you grow up to a towering tulip.
Until through the frozen earth, and you bloom -
- and feels Sweet pain from salsa.
Desire and sensuality.
And now, dear friends, it's time to "transport the donkey", as you say.
- Are you ready to transport the donkey? - Yes!
Five, six, seven, eight.
Come to Papa!
Salsa for Papi!
Malte fresh air like breath.
It doesn't matter if you come from Nibe or Hollywood.
You grow with him. I feel I am an adult.
Malte has helped us grow, right?
If Malte isn't gay, I'm sure he will be an extraordinary lover.
Hey!
You can be a good lover Even though you are abnormal.
- Have something against gay? - Edward is afraid of gay.
I just don't get gay sex. Two bald men go bankrupt.
- Men have holes too. - Made for something else.
Oh, I don't know. I often circle that hole.
- Come on, Gritt! - Like a hungry cat around p t.
But it's one way to avoid having children.
When Edward and I love each other, we also talk about children -
- but then we get Little Per.
- Little Per is your substitute child. - Not!
Is it wrong, if your husband's sperm is of good quality, to look for donors?
Women must be free to use sperm they want. And Ib doesn't want children.
Try talking a little more loudly. Table 5 cannot hear you.
- It must be difficult with a man the size of his body. - For fucking sake!
I often think about it when I see you next to each other. He is big and you are small.
- How is he... - Enter?
- Yes, technically. - Well, he can only peek.
- Rather like a Girl Little Match. - "Hullo!"
In a little turtleneck.
Everything goes down to position. No one can enter from all corners of the world.
And that is how wide The woman can spread her legs.
- What do you mean, Edward? - Is this grape acid?
It's sour! Bent, what kind of red wine is this?
This...
This -
- red wine
- Well, I can see it. The color is red - Leave Bent alone.
- Good, Bent. Thank you. - You are welcome.
Who likes spazz as a waiter? How does he serve soup?
- I want to announce to the table... - Luckily he's not a brain surgeon.
I don't have a problem to spread my legs. I can do division until now.
Gritt's parents think for a long time that Gritt will be a model -
- but then he stopped growing at the age of 12 years.
Right!
I think the model is five feet tall not in big demand -
- except for hobbit films.
But hey, it's good for Malte fairy that she makes you grow and grow -
- and believe that Hollywood is located in the church -
- every day between 8 and 10 things. m.
- Ib, we're done with this nonsense. - What do you mean?
Heinz is right We are stupid and stupid.
- and we have successfully overcome our problem Since we were expelled from school.
Let's go to Phuket. We can live like kings there.
We deserve better.
Yes, maybe a little. You are right, pound
And we won't get pussy tonight, anyhow.
Exactly.
We live an empty life and without pussy.
- Come on divorce. - You mean that
I'm sure
- Who recommended me for you? - no
You are the cheapest hit in PriceRunner.
- Do you want to get a divorce? - Yes. That's all Bulgarians.
- It's boring - Is there an affair?
Not unless dancing with a Swedish sissy qualifies as an affair.
- so are you - Me?
Who dances around with sissy prostitutes?
We are not divorced people. Not.
- No, we have one each. - I see.
So you want to divorce your wife so you two can get married?
No, we just want to divorce them.
We think we will save money if we enter
- entered? - Yeah, for you
- Yes, well, divorce rules... - Let me just say one thing.
We want to take good care of the girls. They never want anything.
They haven't raised their fingers in ten years -
- but we will not leave them in sewers without a penny
- I agree. - The rules are simple.
- You share everything - Sure. They must have their share.
When I see your assets -
- everything looks pretty good Two cars...
Home...
Property valuation, bills -
- and all of that You have a pretty big pension savings, huh?
And... Oh, it's not bad.
All in all...
Yes!
- 2.5 for each. - thousand?
- But that's not much. - Million.
You have a large equity in your home see when you build them yourself.
Add to that amount of benefits for 4-5,000 kroner a month, minimum.
I hope you feel it's worth doing. Next to that...
... You get a cheaper lawyer Now, I'm meeting now.
Don't hesitate to wander and recover from a blow.
- Please say one more time - Well, we have arrived at the final station.
You will get some cash and we will jump bullshit lawyer who just confuses you - what? - Confusing you All documents are...
Do I look like an idiot? Hah?
We have decent assets five million kroner
Add to the maximum allowance, not to mention all unclaimed money.
- What money do you not mean? - What money is not declared?
- There is no undeclared money. - It's in the fridge in the basement.
What is an underground warehouse
Now, that's...
That's a fridge in the basement. You are spying on us
As you said, we've arrived at the final station -
- so one of us has to go down and walk again -
- And it's fair if it's you You always wear work shoes that make sense.
I'm more than a stiletto girl.
- Piglet. - Yes?
I know this might be surprising.
How strange! Ingrid starts divorce today too.
Our money All our money We have everything!
Let's drop the whole idea and get sex life online.
- No! - Yes!
Sex involves both hands.
Second hand!
If only they never existed.
It will be much easier to get divorced if they are not there.
You don't have to give half of everything to someone -
- if they don't exist If none of us exists, we won't have a problem
- Do you know what you say? - Yes! No...
If they aren't here...
- What if we hire a hitman? - Yes.
- from the east. From Russia. - Yes!
They get headaches. And they are bankrupt.
We will send it.
Bang.
Bang, thank you, ma'am
Edward...
Yes, a man from the East.
Hello. Hi, Edward. So you're awake?
No, he has been sleeping for 48 hours. Or maybe he is dead. I don't check
Are you dead?
- You hired a Russian assassin! - I'm drunk!
Likewise me, but I don't employ a damn Russian killer!
A male killer from Russia. I will be crazy Stupid, stupid Edward!
Gritt, forgive me Stupid, stupid Edward!
Dirt! You will have to cancel it It's that simple
Write and call everything.
I told you, I tried it. The link has expired.
You pay half, and the link will end. That's the deal when you hire a hitman.
All that remains is this. Igor Lad... whatever.
Arrival from Kiev 2:45 p. m.
He is on his way ?!
Maybe he won't recognize us. All he knows is we live in Nibe -
- and there are many people at Nibe. Many places
There are people who live in Nibe in all types of houses.
But he has his email address and his name.
He knows exactly where to go. He is a professional killer, Ib.
I understand it. Let's go to the airport and tell him it's a misunderstanding.
Good idea. We will give him a good tip and say it is all a misunderstanding.
How difficult is that?
- What if 100 dollars isn't enough? - Hell, this is a year's income in Russia.
- Have a return ticket? - Yes. Moscow 6:45 p. m.
- good And this never happened. - Never happened.
We will treat it with steak and a few bottles of Rioja -
- and so it is.
Gosh...
He must be drunk.
I will give it. Impressive.
My friend's friend... My friend's friend.
Hi.
- Is he your friend? - Well, we don't really know him.
- Then why did you hold his name? - OK
- what's the deal here? - We are builders - Igor is here to help us... build. - nothing is illegal
But we don't need it, so we bought him a return ticket.
Not possible. He does not fly in such circumstances.
Take him out of here Immediately!
We will take a taxi to Scandic. We will not attract attention by taxi.
We will give him a room, pour some coffee on him to calm him down -
- and then we go back here, he flew back home -
- we go home. That never happened.
Your friend is fine right? He can't throw up in my taxi...
I will be very angry.
She's from Russia. They almost never throw up.
Russian infidels
Godless pork eater, drunk, stupid dog
I curse you to hell -
- and I will take a long time, an expensive detour to steal your money!
You're a Taliban jerk I curse you and your family and hope you burn in hell.
You talked to me, are you Russian bastard?
I will get your intestines out through your dirty throat -
- and hang you in the nearest tree!
Insolence of you! I will do that to you, You are evil-for-brain!
Stop stopping.
You bastard! I went to kill you, you crazy bastard!
- Stop the car! - what stopped? Where do you stop?
You're crazy about Russia
I will kill you well! We kicked your whole family out of your country!
Come here, you...!
I can't overcome all the negative energy in such a limited space.
So much... hate between people, Edward.
We will realize it, and then we go home.
Alright, let's go.
Taliban monkeys aren't too hard anymore.
But you don't worry, you are my friend. Igor kills for free.
Besides that, he doesn't care. He is not happy.
Now, I promise he is much happier now with 72 damn virgins.
Now he is happier. Now he is with his virgin. Forgive me.
For the sake of fucking Ib, this isn't happening, right?
We will be jailed because of a Russian drunk that we don't even know.
Edward, we have to take him home with us. And we cannot just leave the body.
- Someone will find it. - Some one?
The poor immigrant man and his lover are immigrant children who are now orphans.
Maybe he is a pesky ISIS who whips his family with the Quran every night.
But you don't know that!
Alright, Igor, let's go.
- Let's go have a beer at the inn. - But what if the daughter comes home?
Gritt says they are sleeping in your house place. It's just you and me tonight.
Are there real men leaving?
I really want a child.
I will be 40, and my ovary starts to look like plum Soon I will only have children with nuchal folds.
Yuck!
- I think we will go to my place - You never drink wine
Will we be happy without them?
Oh come on. We will have a ball!
You will meet another man who sees you in the eye instead of ogling your ass.
Who can dance, think and go to an art museum and watch PBS -
- and who is talking about anything else from rock wool
- is this acceptance? - Is he one of them Polish?
- Where is the mini bar? - How dare he prance like that?
They live in the basement from time to time, but they never come upstairs.
Life is nothing without beauty and love. Love is what makes you happy -
- and if you are not happy, there is no reason to live.
So when Igor met two beautiful women, he saw a lot of love -
- and that makes him very happy.
And I didn't say it because I was drunk.
Igor always gets drunk and sees ugly women all the time.
But you are very, very, very beautiful.
Who said you could leave your basement?
You are a very hungry woman You are like a juicy wet oasis. An oasis just waiting to feed thirsty people -
- but you, very beautiful, where are you _ thirsty? Nobody drinks from you.
And you are beautiful. Like Da Vinci's paintings.
Please come. Please.
Please!
Where do you see the man your secret smile, beautiful lips?
I like it very much. Beautiful.
Thank you.
- Well, Malte, our dance teacher... - Dance teacher?
He thinks we're very excited. He is Swedish.
Gay, of course, and sometimes He compares us to two tulips.
Are you a tulip? But tulips are nothing But the vegetables are stupid.
You are not a vegetable You are a woman made of flesh and blood!
- This is for every virgin I have ever loved. - Gosh.
He feels a little hurt and I see tears in his eyes.
And Igor said: If he feels a little sick -
- so Igor will also feel a little pain.
So I pierced myself every time with a knife,
You know, people from the Eastern Bloc can be very romantic
- You can say it again. - very
Can I...
What is this?
- Is this also your woman...? - Not.
This is all the people I killed.
- What? - So you're really trying to kill someone?
- OK. - How is that?
- To kill someone? - Yes.
Oh, that's nothing.
First they breathe, then they don't breathe.
So, you stayed a long time here at Nibe?
As long as needed.
- Do you know Ib and Edward? - Yes.
They are my new friends.
- Do you keep a secret with me? - Of course.
Wives don't make them happy anymore.
What do you really mean by that?
Igor helps them Don't be unhappy anymore
How is it?
I killed them
Do you know where I can find it?
Igor?
You need something is stronger than wine, yeah
- You need whiskey - Fine.
Where am I, by the way What is the lobby of this hotel?
We go and we buy...
... whiskey. Lots of wynkies.
And you can stay here in the hotel lobby.
- What will we do? - Enter the car!
You're too drunk to drive
- I thought I was peeing on my pants. - Damn, Gritt!
We are married to several murderers!
I don't remember The last time I peed on my pants.
Fuck Ever heard of something wild?
Maybe at the camp in '92...
You don't chip for the hitman. If anyone will kill me -
- I want my own personal killer.
I peed my shoes... everywhere.
- And then I see... - Have you been drinking?
What do you think Do I look conscious or embarrassed?
Lower my leg and enter my shoes...
"What is this? Do you pee?"
I peed on my pants.
Cursing! It exploded. That's the first.
Get out of the car.
And the prostitutes can sleep on the sofa in a studio apartment on a loser road.
Loser street.
They went to see a lawyer just to find out They married two strong women.
Strong woman Who knows their rights, Gritt.
- Free woman like you and me, Gritt. - Yes, we are truly free.
We might be very good from Nibe -
- but the word Malte is probably Hollywood -
- And the women there know how to to squeeze the last part of a man.
- last pussy? - No, the last number of a man.
We will show it!
We have a future, Gritt. We can dance through our lives.
- They can only sit on their fat donkeys. - Hell, we will change Malte.
- Yes why not? - With our giant big ball.
We rock!
We are lucky to find a drop of blood in your alcohol What do you think?
- You're looking at a minimum... - Where?
- Where did you go? - Where is the cell, Heinz?
At the end of the hall, at 9.
He is awake.
No one can drink that much.
Why don't we just tell the police?
- Police? - Yes.
"Why don't we just tell the police?"
- What can the police do? - They can fix it - Fix it? Police? - Yes.
No, they will save it for year pairs, and when they are released -
- they will rob us of everything.
Police!
If they can hire a murderer...
... why not?
Well, because it violates the law.
- against the law? - Yes.
No, that's equality!
This is the equation, Gritt. Hey!
We have the same right being a bastard like a man.
Sure.
- OK. - I will tell you what we will do...
- Of course this is a good idea? - We must defend ourselves.
- And Igor? Think he is suitable for him? - Wait and see. This girl is special.
England has style. Downtown Abbey, Midsomer Murders and so on.
England is luxurious. Silent and silent.
If something is really complicated -
- they just sweep under the carpet.
- I need to urinate again. - And I'm thirsty
- Shouldn't he land now? - I need wine Excuse me. Where do you come from?
Oh, I'm sorry, young man.
I don't think so You will take interest -
- In a silly old woman like me. I'm flattered, my dear.
This is the check-up day today, is a pure routine.
I understand, baby
Now, what am I investigating about this? is your beautiful little country today?
Hard drugs, endangered species or deadly weapons?
- Can I check your bag? - You can do it.
Good God!
Ingrid, I don't like this.
No, but let's go to the summer house and get acquainted, okay?
Of course he's not crazy? I think He came straight out of a horror film.
No, he is just weird.
You can't get enough of oddballs. They are just barmy.
Mrs. Nipplesworthy, we are going now to a very nice and comfortable place.
- Is there anything you need? - Heart.
- heart? - heart?
Raw heart
With a good bottle of Chianti.
Woman... woman!
I only play with you So you want me to erase his memory?
Not everything Last few days maybe.
- What is this all about? - We will give you 5,000 kroner.
This is pure business. We bring it in from the East to help us -
- but he drinks too much He is Russian and is more or less useless.
Even so, we feel bad After dragging it all the way here -
- only to fire it on the spot.
So we thought it would be better if he never had that experience
You're so full of bullshit - 20,000. - Finish the deal!
- wait outside - Deal.
Ib... where did you go
Poul?
Poul!
What are you doing?
- Where did you find it again? - He has a website.
- A site? - Yes, related to euthanasia.
- euthanasia - Yeah.
He worked at home for years -
- and unfairly punished for having helping many old miserable -
- parents are really broken, are dying too
He dedicated his life to helping people, who need to die, die.
And he also helps if you need help -
- to make someone else, who needs to die, die
People, who want to die... but may not know it yet.
What house does he work?
- I think it's Broadmoor Home... - What for home?
Broadmoor Awarding Institution -
- a reputable house for psychopaths, lovers.
Good.
- Do you work there as a nurse, or...? - Yes, of course.
Yes, of course I am a nurse.
"Now you are traveling again in your life, Igor. Now you let yourself fall -
- and see the work you have to do. "
Igor says it's crazy, but stupid women say:
"Yes, you see the work You must do it for Ib and Edward. "
"No, no," I said. "I didn't see anything."
"Oh yeah," he said. "You will."
And then he hypnotized.
And then Igor saw all of Igor's work! They come to me, everyone from them!
Taliban pig, all three hippy midgets, six Chinamen -
- stupid reporter, who doesn't like my friend Putin -
- women with big dick etc. So now he starts screaming.
So Igor wakes up. "Why are you screaming, stupid woman?"
- So he shouted: "Police! Police!" - Yes, we heard We heard.
- He shouldn't lock the door. - I asked him: "Why are you shouting?"
"Please stop screaming, you ugly woman with ugly glasses Please stop...!"
Do you really have to...
You know, Igor helps. Igor removed him from his misery.
I can see he is not happy.
Always looking for positive, my mother always says
Like when my budgie died.
"Look, Ib, it's a good thing about a dying budgie -
- that you can get a budgie doll now. Not many people have that. "
Maybe all these terrible experiences are good for us I mean, now we park properly in the middle of nature.
Seeing! A live bird This gives you food to think about -
- That in the middle of all this chaos There are still items that can be enjoyed.
Damn, Ib, you go crazy. Pull yourself together, Ib.
No... I don't mean that.
I miss my budgie.
And this is where Heinz came.
Good...
So, what's up, Dumb and Dumber?
- Yeah, what's wrong, Heinz? - drunk bastard
Moonlight What's next?
Now your acquaintance has lost the license -
- The Mercedes only collects dust in the garage.
- What do you want, Heinz? - Why, I want Mercedes - If you get moonlight, I can too. - Why?
Why?
It's up to you whether I have to drive against you with the tax officer -
- or drive in Mercedes - Who is that person? - Only our friend.
- Yeah, he's just a friend. - Oh. Does he have a work permit?
Hey there.
I want to see your passport, paper and work permit.
Immediately
- Hello - Heinz, he doesn't speak Danish
- Heinz, you better not. - Polish fishing
Don't upset him. Igor is from Russia, not Poland.
So what will he do? Blowing me
Hey, buster.
Let me see your papers, passport and work permit.
This is a bad idea, Heinz. You are human after all.
- What? - You also have a heart.
- don't you have a wife and child? - Not in your life!
- Father or mother? - What are you talking about?
All people who love you and who you love and continue to picnic.
No, all that family nonsense is not me.
So your day goes by, no one will mourn you -
- with buffet cakes and cousins sing country songs?
You lose big time. What are you doing?
- is this your friend - No.
I really feel a little sad for him, because you know -
- Heinz isn't very happy - Ib! - Not happy?
Not happy at all, Igor.
There is no love, no family -
- and not too happy Ib, what are you doing?
- You bet your ass, I'm not so happy. - Damn it.
Look, tell me what happened. By the way, friend.
You dig a hole in the center From nowhere What is happening?
What is this?
No!
This... No, it's okay time!
You were arrested and you have the right to one...
He doesn't speak Danish, Heinz.
You have the right to maintain silence, and according to law you can only...
Good.
We drink more?
Well, Ib. This is the end of the road.
Heinz will get help. It's all over -
- and I will accept my punishment - This will relieve my stomach and mind... - Car keys... where is the key?
We will finish everything in the open. Don't worry, I'll take a rap.
No need for both of us to spend 12 years in being able to get buggered by thugs.
Don't all work. Igor has a handle on it.
Let's be happy it can't be worse.
- he misses - you are too negative No, we won't just get away with it. I've seen it often on TV, Ib.
A man walks with his dog, and the dog comes Back with big bones in socks.
The next thing you know, You are a star of a paralyzed criminal docu.
We must find a better place where they will not be found
How slowly do you want that to happen?
How slow?
Now, this will make them bleed for several hours -
- before their eyes popping up their heads
This is very painful, it must be said.
Meanwhile, now this one...
I call this fall leaves.
This will extend the process even further -
- causes hair and tooth loss for several weeks -
- before finally peeling their skin like leaves in autumn.
Yes yes
Something tickles your luxury, miss?
First and foremost -
- I personally don't think their eyes must come out.
I think this thing appears sounds a little too much
What do you think, Ingrid? Do you think their eyes should be...
No no.
No, personally, I don't like eyes -
- and also I don't know about Autumn Leaves.
It's so hard to decide. Right, Gritt?
Yes, this is very difficult. There are so many things to choose from.
Maybe it's all a little too dramatic Maybe we can find something a little simpler - Scandinavian style more? - Yes, it's more likely Scandinavian.
Do you mean dull and dark?
Maybe we can concentrate on Igor.
And maybe just give Ib and Edward -
- maybe just a little warning?
A little warning
Maybe just... I don't know...
Maybe a little unexpected diarrhea maybe.
- Diarrhea? - Just a little pooh in the pants.
Pooh-pooh! That will be hysterical.
You asked me to come here.
I packed my things. I put a lot of effort into my preparation That's why we English people stand up for. Discipline. Respect.
And last but not least, which denies from the rebellious human body.
And what do I mean by that? Good, English doesn't like the human body.
We live with it, that's true. Because we have no choice We are forced to do it.
And that's why I am skilled at what I do.
I am an expert in helping people _ empty their bodies That's my call That's the job of my life.
I am here to save all of us from our human body!
- She's really crazy - No, we're really crazy.
- What do we do? - Let's keep calm now.
Why don't we buy it again?
I can't think without Chardonnay. I will come out for more.
- Do you leave me alone with that? - Everything will be alright
I only need wine.
What a surprise.
- When do you expect to finish it? - We found a stack of bricks.
And many more are on their way from...
From Krakow.
- isn't it wide enough? - What do you mean, Mrs. Hansen?
This is almost as wide.
Yes, this is a sturdy wall that nothing can knock down again -
- so they can find something or someone in it.
- Not that it will be on the wall. - Mrs. Hansen
Thank you, pound - Can we drink a cup of coffee? - You bet There!
Well, yeah...
Maybe we should find it too?
I don't think Igor is very happy.
No, it must be hard to sleep So many people die in your conscience.
Say what, Ib.
- I will tell him directly. - No, are you crazy?
- I will keep the civil tone - He will kill us You can't!
Igor... Igor.
These are all big misunderstandings. You don't need to kill our wife.
That's just me and Ib... is a little crazy one night - Not because we don't like you. - No, not at all.
We like you very much. You have great charisma and...
We also want you to know that we think you were a very good killer.
Oh, of course.
Actually, Igor, we don't want you to kill anyone again
- You become gentle - Look, Igor.
You don't need to kill your wife or your husband -
- because you don't make love anymore
Actually, this is very normal in this case the country you stopped having sex -
- when you got married.
Then what did they do?
They... they take care of dogs -
- or children
You know, running together and going to Silvan Saturday morning -
- What is a grill? - You know, a comfortable time with a grill.
- No. - Not?
You are my friend. I don't want you to live a bad life that is not happy -
- with your cold wife
But the wife loves us again. They are not cold anymore, no.
Good. If they really love you again -
- I want to hear it from their own mouth
Not from you two soft chicken.
Of course, Igor. You are right
Of course you have to hear it from them mouth, and you have to meet them -
- and you have to talk to them. Then they will tell you how much they love us.
And then you can go home.
- OK. - But we will never talk about it!
I have a plan.
It's terrible. The girls haven't said a word.
Both of you at the same time?
Where is God in all this? Is it related to work?
- I'm sure it's - All the items you breathe
I don't have wigs for men, but I can cut this in shape.
You haven't lost your hair.
Chemotherapy will make it Come with a giant crest.
Try them.
- Hi, Ib. - Bent.
Hi, Edward.
What's wrong? Why do you look like that?
- Ib and Edward have cancer. - Yeah, we will be bald like eggs.
Skinhead.
You... you...
You only have to...
... must go to...
Bent thinks you have to take salsa.
Salsa, Bent. Hell, that's all we need -
- with a body full of cancer. For fucking sake - Thank you, Bent. - Same with my friend.
- Why do we always make fun of Bent? - Because we always have.
Not before the accident. We used to look at him.
He is the best footballer on the team.
Then the ball is rolled in front of from the car on the highway
He left for six months and when He returned, he turned into spazz.
- I told you, children are bullshit. - But why are we making fun of him?
He shouldn't be chased by the ball towards the damn highway.
Because we are afraid from Spazzy Bent, Edward.
We are afraid of children. We are afraid they will run out in front of the car.
- Yeah right. - But he is happy.
- He dances and he has a sex life. - And that's weird.
And what do we have?
Do you want me to throw myself in front of a car to lay down? That's stupid.
You don't make sense.
Gritt, what are you doing?
I can't stand it anymore.
I already have it! There are no more perverse psychosexes.
Will you throw it there?
We will do like England. Sweep under the carpet. Go
I want to be normal, Ingrid.
I don't want to go looking for a guy who watches PBS -
- because I know that Ib loves me -
- and you're crazy if you can't see that we've just crossed our limits.
We were happy. Why can't we be happy again?
I can't take you seriously if I have to look down at you.
Give a shovel, hurry up!
You damn fucking
- Hello - Igor, this is Edward.
Can you see the house behind you?
This is my home. Gritt and Ingrid are both waiting for you inside, okay?
- Alright, I kill them? - No, no!
No, no, Igor. Not killing They are happy now, very much.
You want to hear it from yourself right?
Hi, you must be Igor. I am ingrid I'm very happy I'm not cold. Please come in.
Igor, please sit and drink.
I'm Gritt, and I'm very happy and not cold.
We apologize for being very dark -
- but we forget to pay electricity bills.
Ib and Edward told us about small mistakes
If you ask me, I don't think you have to kill us Right, Ingrid?
Look, Igor, we love our husband very, very, very much -
- but sometimes mating is a little tired, you know
It's like tide. Sometimes the water is high -
- and sometimes low.
And for the last day, the water is very low.
- I hate water - Yes, of course you hate water.
Who doesn't Don't you hate water, Ingrid?
Hate water! I hate water.
But you see, Igor...
Women have so many feelings. Their hearts are so big -
- and sometimes like that there is a storm in it A storm, Igor.
- Damn, pound! - I remember my first date.
I'm only 15 years old, and Sofus's name.
I have a good eye on him. He is in my equal class.
And after many, many, many months -
- finally he asked me if I wanted to go out and eat pizza with him.
Ib, what are you doing?
I was very nervous and hungry too, so of course I said yes
When he kissed me outside Pizzeria Milano...
... I swear my knee is like rubber and my heart longs for slag.
You are probably the two worst trannies that I have ever used my eyes.
I think I will get sick.
- I agree. - What do you say?
I say you two look like retirees Ukrainian prostitutes in a car accident
I'm glad the lights go out.
- How dare you talk to a woman like that? - How dare I?
- Ib, shit. - You are very ugly
- Fuck you - Please don't
No!
What happened to you? What happened to you, man?!
I won't tell him to talk to Gritt like that
- You are not Gritt, you are Ib! - Where am I? Are my hair okay?
You are not Gritt, you Ib. You are male
That is the woman inside me, Edward. He came roaring out.
I suddenly feel the breasts, ovary and so on.
I suddenly want to have children.
Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me!
Ib, stop looking at me like that.
We have to get out of here! We have to find the girls.
We must end this!
- Pick up the damn phone, Ingrid. - Ingrid speaks
- Hi, Ingrid, it's me. - Hi, Edward.
Listen, we must meet soon!
- Don't be my boss. - Oh, I don't mean to get your boss around.
You bet no. You sound so angry - No, I'm just a little stressed out. - You sound angry I know I'm angry. We have dealt with it like 4,000 times.
- But it doesn't sink, right? - We must meet immediately.
Let's meet at the inn, then.
No, we can't meet there.
- What's wrong? - be there
- We will meet there No problem. - Just be there
Damn, Ib, We met at the inn.
I can't... damn it.
Let me out! Damn bastard!
- What's the matter...? - What happened to you?
- Listen, we can't talk here - This is a good place to talk.
You can't hurt us here, you see.
Now, what happened to your killer?
Yes...
- Do you know? - We know everything
In fact, we have Heinz on the phone We told him that we felt threatened -
- so he is ready to move if you try anything
- Oh, Heinz? - Right, Gritt?
Why do you look like that?
Maybe you want to explain -
- what's going on on your head A contract killer ?!
This whole mess with divorce and the money really arrived at us -
- and then we do stupid things.
This is very human -
- to screw up and live to regret it.
Maybe it's unconscious. You do something about your will.
You want to do something -
- but you don't want to after all.
We know what the subconscious means.
We will never kill you in the name of benefits.
- Do you want me to call the police? - Mind your own business, right?
- Ingrid, you better keep going down. - You don't talk about killing your wife.
So there's nothing you have ever had forbidden thoughts?
If only you could blow your head from the guy who cut you at the intersection -
- or someone who blocks the escalator
Or your husband who always forgets you birthday and gives you a blender.
Or when you are busy and stuck in the line at the supermarket -
- I just say, that's what makes Some of us think certain thoughts.
- But it's not you - Blender works like a dream.
- You can look out through your throat.
Don't drink anymore!
- Everything is flat. - taxi! Taxi!
You don't have a problem. You don't have a problem.
My mother and father in Murmansk far away, they have a problem.
They lived together for 50 years. They married for 50 years -
- but they are still kissing.
They have a problem, they fight. He hit him, he fell, he picked him up.
But they love each other, they kiss each other, they make love to each other.
She's a very, very big woman, and she has a very small dick.
But you know, a little little fuck is always better than not making love.
And you have everything. You have woman, man, car, house, money.
You have everything, but you're not kidding!
Edward... Edward? What are you doing, Edward?
Sit down. Sit down, Edward.
I really like you, but it's true makes me very sad when I see a sad person.
Hello, Igor You are fine, you are fine.
You talk about happiness all the time -
I think you only kill people because they are like you Not happy.
You really think this is a kind of stupid movie moment
Yes, Igor. This is where good people talk to bad people -
- and he made him realize that he was completely wrong
I haven't seen the work in the film.
Then you haven't seen much, a lot of films.
- There are many, many, many films... - name one
Okay, Igor, then try this one.
Have you ever thought about it? maybe people aren't happy -
- before you will kill them, because you will kill them?
Maybe that makes them only a small bit unhappy.
Think it might just play small fucking role, yeah, you stupid Russian?
Okay, Edward, now you say to me -
- or I'll kill you
When was the last time you made your woman happy?
There is never time! He will go the damn salsa lesson all the time.
Oh, cut it!
- Now we have a little time. - What?
So try to make him happy, Edward.
- What do you want me to say? - Gosh, you're romantic!
- Say something to him - Sure.
Sure...
Ingrid, I think you are hot.
And I think is a waste of breasts and buttocks...
- holy bullshit - At least pretend I'm making you happy!
He doesn't understand Danish. Or do you better die?
Edward, try talking about his eyes.
Yes, well... your eyes are so...
Sure, your eyes are...
... round and blue
Gray, green, no, brown.
- They are gray blue, idiot! - Damn it!
Ingrid, you are always in my mind. You are always with me.
And it's not your ass that I saw, but yours eyes, because they are really special -
- your eyes Both in and... naughty.
You have very strong eyes.
I don't understand why are you with grump like me
But you are no longer.
All I know is that for the rest of my life -
- I will remember those eyes
But that's all minutes.
I'm sorry, honey.
Oh, Edward, I don't want anyone other than you.
If only you were someone else.
That's beautiful.
Edward, you make us happy.
Igor?
Cyanide... 30 seconds. And there is no...
I haven't tasted the damn vodka since I was eight years old.
No!
The word salsa!
Some say it comes from the sound Cuban musicians made -
- when they play
Others claim that because Salsa is a blend of many styles.
Like salsa sauce. A little of everything.
A little soft, a little sweet, a little spicy
Like life itself. We love, we hate.
We fight -
- and we kissed
Damn, I hate this That's not me at all.
This is a bull's burden. This clothes are too tight.
They are not intended to be used. They make you look stupid.
Not me at all.
- Well, Gritt and I leave now. - Already?
Gritt's ovary hurts.
You are brave What about the nuchal folds?
With or without nuchal folds. Ovulation in one hour.
So, finally you finish the Great Wall of China, huh?
No need for sarcasm.
- How are you with girls at home? - Alright, Mrs. Hansen.
This must sound like You are boring in bed.
- But, Mrs. Hansen... - Time for a screwdriver!
Oh dear. Give me a hand, right?
As for your woman...
Men don't understand It's all about the clitoris.
Most can't even find it.
And not only is Poul late, but all my beloved
Can't find it.
Searching for it like is Higgs Boson in Switzerland.
They keep licking in the wrong place
No, I won't climax If you put a big toe into your mouth!
What if I show how it's done?
We can all lie on the couch.
A crawl room I can do it with a nice makeover
Let's finish the bill later, Mrs. Hansen.