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Dear Dr. Jones,
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00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:51,612
I act on behalf of a client
with access to very substantial funds
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00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:55,908
who has indicated a desire
to sponsor a project to introduce salmon
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00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:59,453
and the sport of salmon fishing
into the Yemen.
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00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:01,789
I would like to seek a meeting with you
to identify
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00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:05,960
how this challenging project
might be initiated and resourced.
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00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:09,630
I might add that
the Foreign and Commonwealth Office
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00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:13,342
supports the project as a symbol
of Anglo-Yemeni cooperation.
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00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:18,430
Yours sincerely,
Harriet Chetwode-Talbot, Ms.
10
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:20,724
Fitzharris & Price Investment Consultants.
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00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,697
Night. Have a good evening.
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00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,783
You, too. Say hi to soldier boy.
13
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,035
We're just friends, you know.
We've only met a couple of times.
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00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:42,079
- Yeah, you tell me that on Monday.
- Shut up.
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00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:52,464
- Hello.
- Hi. It's great to see you.
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00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:55,009
- Yes. Me, too. Sorry.
- Yes?
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00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,677
- Yes.
- You, too.
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00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,096
- No, "Yes" is a start, that's fine.
- Stop it, I'm so nervous.
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00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:00,306
Why are you nervous?
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00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:03,058
I don't know. I'm trying to be
very sophisticated and grown-up.
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00:03:03,142 --> 00:03:06,770
Right. No, grown-up, absolutely.
Quite right, yeah.
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00:03:07,897 --> 00:03:09,398
- Harriet.
- Yes?
23
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:10,983
Last one to the restaurant pays.
24
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,151
What?
25
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:14,195
You bastard.
26
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,114
Dear Harriet Chetwode-Talbot,
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00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,492
thank you for your e-mail.
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00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:24,330
As a fisheries specialist,
permit me a word or two about salmon.
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00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:31,170
Migratory salmonoids require cool,
well-oxygenated water in which to spawn.
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00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:35,049
In addition, in the early stages
of the salmon's life cycle,
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00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:39,511
a good supply of fly life
indigenous to the northern European rivers
32
00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:43,515
is necessary for the juvenile salmon,
or parr, to survive.
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00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:47,061
Some considerable distance
from the Indian Ocean,
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00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,813
or indeed the Red Sea,
as I am sure you are aware,
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00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:53,651
though apparently not
the Foreign and Commonwealth Office.
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00:03:54,526 --> 00:04:00,324
We conclude that conditions in the Yemen
make this project unfeasible.
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00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,826
Fundamentally unfeasible.
38
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:08,207
Yes, yes. Fundamentally unfeasible.
39
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:10,334
We therefore regret
40
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:14,171
that we are unable to help you
any further in this matter.
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00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:18,884
Yours, Alfred Jones, Doctor.
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00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:21,303
I've put duck liver pate in your sandwich.
43
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:25,683
That's lovely.
44
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:29,436
Righto. I'm off to bed.
45
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:30,854
Already?
46
00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:34,525
- Airport car's coming at 5:00.
- Righto.
47
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:38,612
I'll maybe have another wee pass
at the caddis fly paper.
48
00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:40,614
You could read it on the airplane.
49
00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:43,659
Up to my ear in reports, darling.
I'll read it when I'm back.
50
00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:46,537
Right, then. Good night.
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00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,966
Oh, my God, I don't do this. I don't do this.
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00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,884
No, I can tell.
53
00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:03,429
I haven't done this in a really long time.
54
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,097
- Okay.
- I'm so shy.
55
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,141
- Okay. No, I'll sleep on the sofa.
- No, I'm so shy.
56
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,309
Look, Harriet, I mean it. I...
57
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:09,810
Shut up.
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00:05:11,562 --> 00:05:13,605
You were saying. You're shy.
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00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:17,359
I am shy and quiet.
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00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:19,153
Like Hitler. I'm serious.
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00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,655
Robert, I...
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00:05:21,739 --> 00:05:23,449
Don't do this and then forget me.
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00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:26,618
I just don't wanna be
an army barracks joke in the morning.
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00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:27,745
Please be nice to me.
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00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,581
Harriet, I'm serious, too. I mean it.
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00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,208
So if you want me
to sleep on the sofa, then I'll...
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00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:36,670
If you say, Captain Mayers,
one more time you'll sleep on the sofa,
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00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,630
you'll bloody well sleep on the sofa.
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00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:42,009
Captain Robert Mayers, 3-6-4-7-7-2.
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00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,057
Maxwell. Better be good.
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00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,725
Mrs. Maxwell, we have a situation.
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00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,727
- What?
- Code Red in Afghanistan.
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00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,270
Go to sleep.
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00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:56,648
Tell me that's not a mosque.
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00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:58,650
Well, it is a religious establishment...
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00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:00,611
- Of course it's a bloody mosque!
- Well, of course...
77
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,321
- What's up?
- Go to sleep.
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00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,907
- ...make this a joint operation.
- No, no,no, no,no, no,no.
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00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,618
The British have absolutely
nothing to do with this whatsoever.
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00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:12,498
And I want every single man, woman, child
and goat in Afghanistan to know that.
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00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:16,543
My God, I didn't think we could make
the war in Afghanistan any less popular,
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00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,337
but, hey, even I can be wrong.
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00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:21,632
We'll have Vera Lynn strapping on
her suicide belt in sympathy next.
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00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,801
Bravo, the bloody Marines.
85
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,140
Right, you lot.
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00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:32,559
We need a good news story
from the Middle East, a big one.
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00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,978
And we need it now.
You've got an hour, get on with it.
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00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,241
Good news, eh?
89
00:06:48,117 --> 00:06:50,369
New girl band, Middle East tour.
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00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:52,871
Maybe. Maybe.
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00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:55,999
Touch my body
No, no...
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00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,419
Okay-
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00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,171
Maybe not. No.
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00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:05,884
British trans-Arabian rally.
95
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,179
For God's sake.
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00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:13,851
Come on, come on. Come up with something.
What's this?
97
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:18,564
A project to introduce salmon fishing
to the Yemen.
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00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:22,651
Salmon fishing.
Salmon fishing in the Yemen.
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00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:25,737
Is that the best you puffed-up
Oxbridge-educated moronic buffoons
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00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:27,614
can come up with?
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00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:30,325
Yes? Yes, Prime Minister.
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00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:33,287
Well, no, I'm working on it right now.
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00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:37,374
I think I may have come up
with something that you'll like.
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00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,461
Salmon fishing. Salmon fishing.
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00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,588
Are you dollies trying to get me fired?
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00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,632
Well, here we go.
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00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:47,885
Fish it is
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00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,021
- Morning.
- Good morning.
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00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,607
- Morning.
- Morning.
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00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:03,233
- Morning.
- Hello.
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00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:19,708
Mrs. Maxwell on line one, sir.
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00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:21,627
Busy.
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00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,378
She says it's urgent, sir.
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00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,506
Maxwell who?
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00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,799
The press officer to the Prime Minister, sir.
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00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:30,761
Patricia.
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00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,513
They haven't pensioned you off yet, then?
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00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,556
Listen, I got the heads-up
from the FCO about this
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00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,309
salmon fishing in the Yemen. Fancy it?
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00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,145
- Well, I...
- We do.
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00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:42,272
Chasing a good news story
out of the Middle East.
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00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,358
Anglo-Yemeni relations back on track.
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00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,902
Arab-Western cultural détente
through the ancient sport
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00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,905
of yanking poor sodding fish out of rivers.
What do you reckon?
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00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:52,866
Well, it's a bit of a long shot, to be honest.
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00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,201
Well, don't be honest.
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00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:57,704
Lunatic's an oil sheikh.
Got money pouring out of his arse.
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00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:58,956
Good friend of the West.
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00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,458
Good friend of the Party, too,
so give it a go, eh, dolly?
130
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:05,337
Well, we'll certainly
bend every sinew to the job, Patricia.
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00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,755
I'll set up a working party immediately.
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00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,382
- What?
- Hey!
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00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:12,594
Don't you "working party" me,
you short-arsed little pen-pusher.
134
00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:15,639
I did not say kick it into the long grass.
I said do it!
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00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,975
Yes, Patricia. Right...
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00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:19,810
...away.
137
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:23,313
Mr. Jones?
138
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,651
Morning, Mr. Jones.
139
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,237
Good morning, Betty.
I trust you had a nice weekend.
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00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,574
Yes, thank you, Mr. Jones.
Mr. Sugden would like a word.
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00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,785
Would he indeed? What do you think of that?
142
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,080
It's for the caddis fly report.
143
00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,082
Need something racy for the cover.
144
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:44,751
Something to rev up
the YouTube generation.
145
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:48,630
I know it's not quite what we would
expect from a scientific paper,
146
00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:50,841
but we must keep up
with the times, Mrs. Burnside.
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00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,552
Mr. Sugden asked to see you, Mr. Jones.
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00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:55,262
I'm not too sure that I don't have a picture
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00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:58,348
of a caddis being eaten alive
by a spider somewhere.
150
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:04,688
There it is. That's a beauty.
151
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,815
What do you think about that for...
152
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:08,191
Good God.
153
00:10:10,569 --> 00:10:11,903
Little too much, do you think?
154
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:13,947
No, not if you're making a horror film.
155
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:16,783
Look, this e-mail about the salmon thing.
156
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:19,494
Yes. Did I miss
April Fools' Day or something?
157
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:23,123
Did you like my little swipe at the
Foreign and Commonwealth Office wonks?
158
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:26,001
Yeah, well, I just had another e-mail
from the FCO today.
159
00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:27,794
Rattle their cage, did I?
160
00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:29,379
Look, you wouldn't take
a meeting with her, would you?
161
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:30,714
This Chetwode-Talbot woman.
162
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,300
She represents this
Sheikh Muhammed bloke.
163
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,885
Why would I want to do that?
164
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:38,388
Why would I want to traipse
across London to discuss that nonsense?
165
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:40,807
I've very important work to do here,
as you can very well see.
166
00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:42,976
Yeah, well, the FCO, in their infinite W,
167
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:46,021
feel that a meeting on this
is important business, too, Alfred.
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00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:50,734
Lord, the tendrils of this
busybody government.
169
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:54,237
Dr. Jones, as your Operational Line Manager,
170
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,823
I am asking you with extreme prejudice
171
00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:59,910
to take a meeting
with Harriet Chetwode-Talbot.
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00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:02,913
I take it that's an order?
173
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:05,540
Take it how you wish.
174
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:08,919
Nazi.
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00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,464
Wanker. Morning.
176
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,428
Dr. Jones?
177
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,682
Miss Chetwode-Talbot is expecting me.
178
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:24,893
Yes, it's a bit of a mouthful.
Do call me Harriet.
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00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:28,855
- Nice to meet you.
- You, too. Do you want to come with me?
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00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:30,315
Yes.
181
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,737
Do come in.
182
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:39,449
Please, sit down.
183
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:43,662
Yeah, anywhere you like.
Would you like tea or coffee?
184
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,456
No, thank you.
185
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:47,833
So...
186
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:53,463
Fitzharris & Price represent
the sheikh's assets in this country,
187
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:56,550
including a number of estates in Scotland.
188
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:59,052
He's a very keen fisherman,
so he asked us if we would...
189
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,679
- Water.
- Sorry?
190
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,348
Water, Miss Chetwode-Talbot. H2O.
191
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,851
Do you want sparkling or still?
192
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,811
Not for me, for the fish.
193
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:13,191
Fish require water.
You are familiar with that concept?
194
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,027
Yes. I am, yes.
195
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:20,449
So, to save us both a lot of time,
let me keep this brief and simple.
196
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:24,661
Here it's very cold. It rains a lot.
197
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:28,832
Here it's very hot. It doesn't rain a lot.
Do you see the difference?
198
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,918
Well, you're pointing to Saudi Arabia,
Dr. Jones, not the Yemen.
199
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:33,795
You seem to be deliberately
missing the point.
200
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:35,922
With respect, not really.
201
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:38,550
You see, unlike Saudi Arabia,
parts of the Yemen
202
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,595
get up to 250 millimeters of rainfall
a month in the wet season.
203
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,388
It gets the edge of the monsoon, you see.
204
00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:44,514
And the dry season?
205
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:46,725
Well, interestingly,
206
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:50,270
recent oil explorations
207
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:53,523
have uncovered a number
of very large freshwater aquifers,
208
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:56,943
which could sort of recharge the wadi
in the dry season using a dam.
209
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,028
I'm sure they could.
210
00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:00,906
So, when he's built his dam,
why don't you get back to me then?
211
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:02,949
Completed, couple of years ago.
212
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:08,288
Long-term plan is to irrigate
thousands of acres of desert.
213
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:11,625
We could grow watermelons, maize, cotton.
214
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,044
Now you're going to tell me it isn't
hot in the Yemen, too, aren't you?
215
00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:16,463
Well, in the mountainous areas,
216
00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:19,174
the nighttime temperatures
get down to well below 20 Celsius.
217
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,676
And, of course,
I defer to your expert knowledge, Dr. Jones,
218
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:26,139
but I do believe that Pacific salmon
get as far south as California.
219
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:27,682
Temperatures are not too dissimilar there.
220
00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:32,145
- Water.
- For the fish.
221
00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:33,897
- No, for me.
- Of course.
222
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:37,818
Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.
223
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:38,944
Yes, Dr. Jones?
224
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:41,071
This is plainly ridiculous.
225
00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:45,158
There's just no way that salmon can
survive in those sort of environments.
226
00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:48,119
If your sheikh wants to pour
his money down the drain,
227
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,996
why doesn't he buy himself
a football club or something?
228
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,748
Look, Dr. Jones.
229
00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:55,168
I don't really think it's my place
to explain the sheikh's motivations.
230
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,170
But I will say this,
231
00:13:57,254 --> 00:14:01,174
that of all of our wealthy clients,
he is different.
232
00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:04,386
I would go so far as to describe him
as a visionary man.
233
00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:06,638
- A visionary?
- Yes, I know,
234
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,640
it's not a very fashionable word,
235
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:11,017
but if you decide to take this project with us,
236
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,602
then you can judge for yourself
when you meet him.
237
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:16,273
My line manager asked me to come here
and take this meeting to discuss your project
238
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,692
and that I have done.
239
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:21,278
I thank you for your time,
Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.
240
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,196
I'll see myself out. Goodbye.
241
00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:25,782
Thank you.
242
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:35,500
Did you get my e-mail?
243
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,586
Yes. What did it say?
244
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,880
Took the meeting.
Waste of time, as predicted.
245
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:41,506
Now, if you don't mind,
I'll get back to my work.
246
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:43,216
Dr. Jones.
247
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:49,306
What is this?
248
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,225
P45.
249
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,811
I'm sorry, I don't... I don't understand.
250
00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:59,024
Well, a P45 is the official document
given to an employee
251
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:01,735
when his services are no longer
required by his, or her, employer.
252
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,320
Yes, but, Bernard, this has got my...
253
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,489
Or you can sign this letter
254
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,576
stating that you are delighted
to assign yourself, exclusively,
255
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:12,787
to the Yemeni salmon fishing project
with immediate effect.
256
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:15,248
It's up to you.
257
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,250
But, Bernard,
258
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:20,045
you know as well as I do
this thing is a bloody joke.
259
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:22,339
There's no way
you can get salmon that far up a...
260
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:23,798
Just there.
261
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:28,845
This is blackmail, Sugden.
This is a bloody outrage.
262
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:32,223
Fitzharris & Price will be paying
your salary while on secondment.
263
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:35,685
Almost double what it is now.
I'd say that's a bloody outrage.
264
00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:39,105
Double? Can I have time to think about this?
265
00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:40,607
Nope.
266
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:43,193
- Can I borrow your pen?
- No.
267
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,570
It's my special one with the italic nib.
268
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:47,989
Hey.
269
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,846
Hold it, hold it. Hold it.
270
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,057
Brian, what...
What have you got in bar seven?
271
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:16,935
I should have resigned.
272
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,479
You can't afford to resign.
273
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,815
Matter of principle.
274
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,776
I have a standing
in the scientific community, Mary.
275
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,319
A reputation.
276
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:28,655
You have a mortgage.
277
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,573
Two, three, four.
278
00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:50,260
Maybe I should resign.
279
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,595
We could have a baby.
280
00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:57,726
Why not? You could stay on at work
and I could bring up the nipper.
281
00:16:57,809 --> 00:17:01,271
I could take him to the park and to school.
I could take him fishing.
282
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,690
What do you think?
283
00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:07,193
They're really losing the plot in Geneva.
284
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:08,653
One minute they're buying Euros,
285
00:17:08,737 --> 00:17:11,197
the next minute they can't
ditch them fast enough for dollars.
286
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:13,450
They're panicking,
and guess who they want to bail them out.
287
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,743
I can't imagine.
288
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,037
Say a command.
289
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:20,248
- Shut up.
- Say a command.
290
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,795
What were you shouting about back there?
291
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,382
Nothing.
292
00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,051
Say a command.
293
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:33,970
Mar)'-
294
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,059
Oh, Lord.
295
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:43,188
Well, that should do you for a while.
296
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:47,859
Thank you, Mary.
297
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:55,992
Good night.
298
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,494
Night, dear.
299
00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:14,886
Oh, Jesus.
300
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:18,681
Good morning.
301
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,434
Yes, Staff.
302
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,150
I've gotta go.
303
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,027
Now?
304
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:33,363
Yeah. That was the call.
305
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:36,991
Sorry.
306
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,620
Is it Afghanistan?
307
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:46,167
It's somewhere sandy, that's for sure.
308
00:18:48,503 --> 00:18:50,255
- I'll go get some tea.
- No, look...
309
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,882
- No, it's all right, Robert. It's...
- No, no, come here.
310
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,428
Look, the last few weeks...
311
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,807
This is good.
312
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,392
Wonderful.
313
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:07,188
I'm not gonna lie to you.
I don't know how long I'm gonna be.
314
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,276
Will you wait for me?
315
00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:23,496
Now go get that tea.
316
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:26,249
You bastard.
317
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:37,135
Well, firstly,
we would need to trap 10,000 salmon
318
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:39,012
from the North Sea, for the sake of argument,
319
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,598
get them to the Yemen alive,
don't ask me how,
320
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,266
where they would be deposited
321
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:48,313
in temperature and oxygen-controlled
holding tanks built into a wadi
322
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:51,441
that would, hallelujah,
open during the rainy season,
323
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:55,778
allowing the salmon to migrate upstream
for, say, 10 kilometers,
324
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,447
which would allow your sheikh
325
00:19:58,031 --> 00:20:02,327
to hoick them out of the water
to his heart's content.
326
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:04,829
Of course, until the dry season,
327
00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:06,456
when they will all
328
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:08,750
die.
329
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:12,462
Well, unless we feed the wadi
all year round using the dam.
330
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:15,798
Of course. Stupid idiot man.
331
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:20,345
Why not use precious water resources
to support one man's sport fishing?
332
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:25,058
So, now that we have year-round water,
333
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:28,519
why not build some
gravel spawning grounds,
334
00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:30,605
breed the world's first Arabian salmon,
335
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:32,899
and teach the clever fellows
to migrate to the Indian Ocean...
336
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,484
Wonderful, wonderful idea.
337
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,403
...singing, "Step we gaily, here we go.
Heel for heel and toe for toe."
338
00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:38,488
Rough cost?
339
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:40,114
Cost?
340
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:41,908
Cost.
341
00:20:42,617 --> 00:20:45,703
Forty million. No, 45...
342
00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:47,372
- Fifty million.
- Dollars?
343
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,873
- Dollars.
- Dollars.
344
00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:50,708
Or pounds.
345
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,252
Pounds.
346
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:55,004
At least.
347
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:01,177
So it's theoretically possible?
348
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,889
Well, it's theoretically possible
in the same way
349
00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,976
as a manned mission to Mars
is theoretically possible.
350
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,354
It's very impressive, Dr. Jones.
351
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:15,525
No, it's not. It's nonsense.
Look, I just made it all up.
352
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:16,859
No, the drawing.
353
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:18,861
Real talent, if I might say so.
354
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:22,573
Excellent start.
355
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,326
So I suppose we should just
crack on and get things started now?
356
00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:28,913
You can't hold me to this.
I mean, these are just random ideas.
357
00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:30,873
I mean, this is a sort of joke.
358
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:34,752
Well, I'm sure you wouldn't joke about
a 50-million-pound project, Dr. Jones.
359
00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:36,170
Not when you're in charge of it.
360
00:21:37,547 --> 00:21:40,091
Well, the sheikh is
so looking forward to meeting you,
361
00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:41,884
and he'll be back in the next couple of weeks.
362
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:45,471
So, in the meantime, is there
anything else that I can do for you?
363
00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:47,765
Well, as a matter of fact, there is.
364
00:21:47,849 --> 00:21:49,267
Could you arrange a meeting
365
00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:52,145
with the hydro-engineering team
from the Three Gorges Dam?
366
00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:53,855
The one in China?
367
00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:55,189
Is there another?
368
00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:58,151
British Oxygen Company.
A meeting with them as well.
369
00:21:58,234 --> 00:22:00,820
And then, what are those
great big transport aircraft called?
370
00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:02,655
The big Russian military...
371
00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:03,906
Antonovs.
372
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,950
Find out about renting two of those,
373
00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:09,245
one for the fish and one to carry
all the money that we're going to need.
374
00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:11,205
When that's done,
I'd be delighted to start working.
375
00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:12,832
Good day, Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.
376
00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:14,834
Good day, Dr. Jones.
377
00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:34,854
Mary!
378
00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:36,356
Up here.
379
00:22:37,148 --> 00:22:39,484
Boy, did I put a hurricane
up that Chetwode-Talbot woman.
380
00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:40,735
You would have laughed.
381
00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:44,238
I told her I wanted a meeting with
the Three Gorges Dam team from...
382
00:22:45,948 --> 00:22:47,033
Where are you going?
383
00:22:47,283 --> 00:22:48,618
Geneva. I told you.
384
00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:51,204
You didn't say now.
385
00:22:51,829 --> 00:22:53,706
Well, I am. Tomorrow.
386
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:55,333
Well, how long are you going for?
387
00:22:55,416 --> 00:22:57,085
Six weeks, to start with.
388
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:58,836
Six weeks?
389
00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:00,838
There's no need to shout.
390
00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:05,259
Six weeks, though, Mary.
391
00:23:05,343 --> 00:23:09,514
This is a big chance for me.
I'll be heading up the whole operation.
392
00:23:10,807 --> 00:23:13,309
Well, you could say "Congratulations."
393
00:23:17,855 --> 00:23:19,232
Great.
394
00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:35,957
Enough is enough. It's job or marriage.
395
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,835
You've got to make a decision
and make it now, God damn it.
396
00:23:46,509 --> 00:23:48,344
There are planes, you know, Fred.
397
00:23:49,846 --> 00:23:52,515
And I get Sundays off. Mostly.
398
00:23:54,475 --> 00:23:57,562
You can get all your
horrible old fishing stuff out again.
399
00:23:57,645 --> 00:24:00,815
Didn't even ask me. Just went and did it.
400
00:24:00,898 --> 00:24:03,401
I know. I'm sorry.
401
00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:06,988
It just suddenly seemed
like the right decision.
402
00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:11,200
Maybe for both of us.
403
00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:17,957
Fred, I don't want to leave on bad terms.
404
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:23,212
No. No.
405
00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:28,634
I'll open a bottle of something fizzy. Okay?
406
00:24:31,888 --> 00:24:34,140
Reports are coming in from Afghanistan
407
00:24:34,223 --> 00:24:37,643
of a British soldier killed
while on duty in Helmand Province.
408
00:24:37,727 --> 00:24:40,229
An improvised explosive device detonated
409
00:24:40,313 --> 00:24:43,316
during a routine search
in a local village. This...
410
00:24:56,370 --> 00:24:59,499
The Minister for Culture's
been photographed doing what?
411
00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:01,626
Naked or clothed?
412
00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:03,336
Boy or girl?
413
00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:05,213
How old?
414
00:25:05,296 --> 00:25:08,549
Jesus. Well, at least she's legal.
415
00:25:08,633 --> 00:25:13,095
Press statement from us saying that
we're a party of policy not personality,
416
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:15,014
concentrating on the real issues of
417
00:25:15,097 --> 00:25:18,309
getting this country back on track
in times of economic hardship
418
00:25:18,392 --> 00:25:22,855
and not tabloid sensationalism,
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
419
00:25:22,939 --> 00:25:26,275
Meanwhile, get the useless arse
on the front page of every paper
420
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:27,902
apologizing for being born,
421
00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:31,280
big spread in Hello! with
blonde forgiving wife and cute kids.
422
00:25:31,364 --> 00:25:34,116
If they're not cute, find a horse or something.
423
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,118
Joshua! Hood.
424
00:25:38,412 --> 00:25:40,289
Don't you suck your teeth at me, young man.
425
00:25:40,373 --> 00:25:42,333
I'm not one of your bitches
from the Baltimore low-rises.
426
00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:43,793
You feel me? I'm your fucking mother!
427
00:25:50,466 --> 00:25:52,510
Got to go. Meeting.
428
00:26:06,148 --> 00:26:07,400
Dear Dr. Jones,
429
00:26:07,483 --> 00:26:10,361
the sheikh has requested your company
at his estate in Glen Tulloch
430
00:26:10,444 --> 00:26:12,613
to discuss the salmon project further.
431
00:26:12,697 --> 00:26:14,991
Please advise which dates
would suit you best.
432
00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:18,536
Many thanks, Harriet Chetwode-Talbot,
Fitzharris & Price.
433
00:26:23,416 --> 00:26:26,669
Mr. Sugden would like
to see you in the canteen, sir.
434
00:26:27,461 --> 00:26:29,797
Up his arse with a meter ruler.
435
00:26:31,090 --> 00:26:32,091
Thanks, Betty.
436
00:26:33,551 --> 00:26:34,844
- Which one is he?
- Over here.
437
00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:36,470
Fred.
438
00:26:36,554 --> 00:26:38,764
Can I introduce Patricia Maxwell?
439
00:26:38,848 --> 00:26:41,809
She is the Prime Minister's press officer.
440
00:26:41,892 --> 00:26:43,436
Hello.
441
00:26:47,231 --> 00:26:51,611
Fifty million from
Sheikh Muhammed thingammy.
442
00:26:52,445 --> 00:26:55,072
It's the first-stage payment
on research development
443
00:26:55,156 --> 00:26:56,741
for the salmon fishing project.
444
00:26:57,199 --> 00:26:58,534
The PM's keeping a close eye on this one.
445
00:26:58,618 --> 00:26:59,785
It's just what we need right now,
446
00:26:59,869 --> 00:27:03,998
a bit of Anglo-Arab news
that isn't about things that explode.
447
00:27:04,081 --> 00:27:05,333
I want to know, is it a goer?
448
00:27:06,042 --> 00:27:09,253
Goer? Well, look, the complexities.
449
00:27:09,337 --> 00:27:11,172
I mean, I barely know even where to begin,
450
00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:15,509
but, well, just for starters,
we would need 10,000 live salmon.
451
00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:17,762
Is 10,000 salmon a lot?
452
00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:19,388
Well, if they're to come from British waters,
453
00:27:19,472 --> 00:27:20,931
and I don't see where else
they're gonna come from.
454
00:27:21,015 --> 00:27:23,392
I mean, you would need the permission
of the Environment Agency.
455
00:27:23,893 --> 00:27:25,645
That's your job, Bernard.
456
00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:30,441
Okay, so you get on to the EA
and get this man his salmon.
457
00:27:30,524 --> 00:27:33,027
- Miss Maxwell. Ms.
- Mrs. Happily married.
458
00:27:33,110 --> 00:27:34,278
Details in Who's Who.
459
00:27:34,362 --> 00:27:36,989
Mrs. Maxwell, there are
two million fishermen in the UK
460
00:27:37,073 --> 00:27:39,158
who are, I would say,
unusually protective of...
461
00:27:39,241 --> 00:27:40,451
How many?
462
00:27:40,534 --> 00:27:42,745
- Two million.
- Two million?
463
00:27:43,371 --> 00:27:45,748
- Yes.
- Bloody hell.
464
00:27:46,957 --> 00:27:49,919
Two million out there
waving their little rods around?
465
00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:53,297
Are they the kind that vote our way?
466
00:27:53,381 --> 00:27:55,925
They vote for those that best
look after their fish, in my experience.
467
00:27:56,092 --> 00:27:57,593
I bet they do, I bet they do.
468
00:27:58,761 --> 00:28:02,431
Right, so, Prime Minister on the front cover
of Fishy Weekly or whatever.
469
00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:04,100
Best friend of the British fisherfolk.
470
00:28:04,392 --> 00:28:06,686
Spearing a leaping salmon. I like this.
471
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:08,604
I like it a lo' [.
472
00:28:08,938 --> 00:28:11,315
They do have magazines, these people?
They can read?
473
00:28:11,607 --> 00:28:13,943
Aye, the Angling Times, Trout and Salmon,
474
00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:16,195
Coarse Fishing Monthly, Bassmania.
475
00:28:16,278 --> 00:28:17,405
Bassmania?
476
00:28:18,614 --> 00:28:20,032
Marvelous.
477
00:28:20,116 --> 00:28:22,868
Marvelous. That's marvelous.
478
00:28:25,955 --> 00:28:27,748
This has just become a priority project.
479
00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:29,875
Anything I can do, just give me a call.
480
00:28:30,876 --> 00:28:32,336
Two million.
481
00:28:33,796 --> 00:28:36,132
God, men, what a species.
482
00:28:36,799 --> 00:28:38,634
I don't think she got
the right end of the stick there.
483
00:28:38,718 --> 00:28:40,094
Your call, I think, Bernard.
484
00:28:40,177 --> 00:28:44,140
Ten thousand native Atlantic salmon
on my desk by Friday, please.
485
00:28:45,307 --> 00:28:48,853
Yeah, well, you'd just better
come through on this, Jones.
486
00:29:10,750 --> 00:29:12,460
It's been a long time since I was back.
487
00:29:12,543 --> 00:29:14,503
- Yes?
- A long time.
488
00:29:24,472 --> 00:29:25,473
You see?
489
00:29:25,556 --> 00:29:27,183
- Is that where he lives?
- Yes.
490
00:29:27,725 --> 00:29:30,936
He has many estates,
but this one's his favorite.
491
00:30:03,093 --> 00:30:04,887
- May I present Malcolm, the butler.
- Hello.
492
00:30:04,970 --> 00:30:07,223
- This is Dr. Jones.
- Welcome to Glen Tulloch, sir.
493
00:30:10,518 --> 00:30:13,521
His Excellency thought you might
like to avail yourself of the fishing
494
00:30:13,604 --> 00:30:14,772
while you're waiting.
495
00:30:18,776 --> 00:30:19,944
Thank you very much.
496
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:09,410
May I present
Sheikh Muhammed bin Zaidi bani Tihama.
497
00:31:09,493 --> 00:31:10,578
This is Dr. Jones.
498
00:31:10,661 --> 00:31:12,705
It's a great pleasure to meet you,
Your Excellency.
499
00:31:12,872 --> 00:31:15,916
To meet the creator of the Woolly Jones,
the pleasure's all mine, sir.
500
00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:18,085
That's very kind.
501
00:31:18,168 --> 00:31:21,130
Ms. Chetwode-Talbot, do you realize
that for more than 10 years
502
00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:22,464
I have fished with a Woolly Jones?
503
00:31:22,548 --> 00:31:24,717
Really? What's a Woolly Jones?
504
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,677
Dr. Jones invented a famous fly.
505
00:31:27,469 --> 00:31:31,098
Well, it's a sentimental habit
that some fly-tiers have
506
00:31:31,181 --> 00:31:32,474
of calling a fly after...
507
00:31:32,558 --> 00:31:35,311
Anyway, I don't approve
of that sort of thing normally, but...
508
00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:38,022
Woolly Jones. It's a great name.
509
00:31:38,105 --> 00:31:39,982
A bloody good fly, that's for sure.
510
00:31:40,774 --> 00:31:44,236
Please allow me to show you
a delightful lie just around the corner.
511
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,614
Absolutely. Lead on.
512
00:31:49,033 --> 00:31:50,951
You think I'm mad?
513
00:31:51,035 --> 00:31:53,120
- No, Your Excellency. I...
- Of course you do.
514
00:31:53,203 --> 00:31:55,539
I would question yourjudgment
if you did not.
515
00:31:56,540 --> 00:31:58,375
Though I have judgment enough to know
516
00:31:58,459 --> 00:32:01,962
that under there lies a fish
much cleverer than I.
517
00:32:04,590 --> 00:32:08,344
I'm a great admirer of the British
for many reasons,
518
00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:11,305
but still there are mysteries to me.
519
00:32:11,388 --> 00:32:15,601
The rich are frightened of the poor.
The poor are frightened of the rich.
520
00:32:16,310 --> 00:32:18,437
And even your politicians,
521
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,814
they try to sound like
the people on the EastEnders.
522
00:32:22,274 --> 00:32:24,151
A wonderful program, but still.
523
00:32:24,234 --> 00:32:26,570
Yes, the great British class system.
524
00:32:27,446 --> 00:32:28,614
Indeed.
525
00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:32,618
But fishermen, I have noticed,
526
00:32:32,701 --> 00:32:35,621
they don't care whether
I'm brown or white, rich or poor,
527
00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:37,706
wearing robes or waders.
528
00:32:38,082 --> 00:32:42,211
All they care about is the fish,
the river and the game we play.
529
00:32:44,421 --> 00:32:51,136
For fishermen, the only virtues are patience,
tolerance and humility.
530
00:32:53,722 --> 00:32:55,182
I like this.
531
00:33:03,190 --> 00:33:06,068
You are struck dumb
by my naivety, Dr. Alfred.
532
00:33:06,151 --> 00:33:07,653
No, you're on.
533
00:33:07,987 --> 00:33:09,738
- What?
- You're on.
534
00:33:12,199 --> 00:33:14,034
- This is a sign.
- A sign?
535
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,871
A sign that I should
stop talking bollocks and fish.
536
00:33:19,415 --> 00:33:20,833
Come here.
537
00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:28,674
- Nicely done, sir.
- Thank you.
538
00:33:28,757 --> 00:33:29,800
Very nicely done.
539
00:33:48,902 --> 00:33:50,404
Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.
540
00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:51,864
Hello, Dr. Jones.
541
00:33:54,074 --> 00:33:55,075
Is that yours?
542
00:33:56,243 --> 00:33:57,619
- The dress.
- Yes.
543
00:33:59,830 --> 00:34:00,914
This is not mine.
544
00:34:02,332 --> 00:34:04,043
It suits you very well.
545
00:34:04,126 --> 00:34:05,461
Thank you.
546
00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:07,713
They seem to know my size.
547
00:34:08,714 --> 00:34:10,424
That not strike you as a wee bit sinister?
548
00:34:10,966 --> 00:34:13,385
The idea of the sheikh's tailor
tracking me across London
549
00:34:13,469 --> 00:34:15,304
with some kind of
satellite measuring device?
550
00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:20,225
They asked me for your size.
551
00:34:20,309 --> 00:34:23,145
And I took a guess.
552
00:34:28,108 --> 00:34:29,359
Well, for future reference,
553
00:34:29,693 --> 00:34:31,945
I have a 32-inch waist, Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.
554
00:34:32,029 --> 00:34:33,655
- Right.
- Not a 34.
555
00:34:35,199 --> 00:34:36,325
No pies for me.
556
00:34:36,617 --> 00:34:37,993
Note taken, sorry about that.
557
00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:40,788
Thank you.
558
00:34:44,333 --> 00:34:47,961
Ms. Harriet has told me
of your marvelous plan.
559
00:34:49,505 --> 00:34:51,799
Plan? Well, not so much of a plan, really,
560
00:34:51,882 --> 00:34:53,926
as more of a feasibility study.
561
00:34:54,009 --> 00:34:56,136
Theoretically possible, you said, Dr. Jones.
562
00:34:57,054 --> 00:34:59,515
- Theoretically.
Jndeed.
563
00:35:00,015 --> 00:35:03,644
It would be a miracle of God
if it were to happen.
564
00:35:03,852 --> 00:35:05,604
I'm more of a facts-and-figures man myself.
565
00:35:06,146 --> 00:35:07,272
You're not a religious man?
566
00:35:07,564 --> 00:35:09,358
No. No, I'm not.
567
00:35:10,192 --> 00:35:12,653
But you're a fisherman, Dr. Jones.
568
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:15,030
I'm sorry, I don't follow.
569
00:35:17,324 --> 00:35:22,955
How many hours do you fish
before you catch something? Dozens?
570
00:35:23,247 --> 00:35:24,498
Gosh, hundreds sometimes.
571
00:35:25,707 --> 00:35:28,502
Is that a good use of your time
for a facts-and-figures man?
572
00:35:30,379 --> 00:35:34,633
But you persist in the wind
and the rain and the cold
573
00:35:34,716 --> 00:35:37,302
with such poor odds of success.
574
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:38,971
Why?
575
00:35:39,429 --> 00:35:42,099
Because you're a man of faith, Dr. Alfred.
576
00:35:44,977 --> 00:35:46,812
And in the end,
577
00:35:46,895 --> 00:35:49,064
you are rewarded for your faith
and constancy
578
00:35:49,857 --> 00:35:51,400
With a fish.
579
00:35:51,942 --> 00:35:53,569
With due respect,
580
00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:56,446
fishing and religion are hardly
the same thing, Your Excellency.
581
00:35:56,947 --> 00:35:58,365
With equal respect,
582
00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:00,075
I have to disagree.
583
00:36:03,078 --> 00:36:04,413
A toast?
584
00:36:08,917 --> 00:36:10,043
To faith.
585
00:36:11,086 --> 00:36:12,337
And fish.
586
00:36:12,921 --> 00:36:14,089
To faith and fish.
587
00:36:15,007 --> 00:36:16,258
To faith and fish.
588
00:36:17,217 --> 00:36:18,594
And science.
589
00:36:19,595 --> 00:36:20,929
And science.
590
00:36:28,270 --> 00:36:30,814
You're unhappy tonight, Ms. Harriet?
591
00:36:30,898 --> 00:36:33,108
No. I'm fine, really.
592
00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:37,154
I have too many wives not to know
when a woman is unhappy.
593
00:36:37,237 --> 00:36:39,323
Though mine are not so quiet about it.
594
00:36:45,454 --> 00:36:51,293
Robert, he's my boyfriend,
has just been posted to Afghanistan.
595
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,378
Or somewhere.
596
00:36:56,215 --> 00:36:57,299
I'm sorry.
597
00:36:57,466 --> 00:36:59,176
No, it's fine.
598
00:36:59,259 --> 00:37:00,260
For how long?
599
00:37:01,637 --> 00:37:04,014
They don't really tell us things like that.
600
00:37:04,097 --> 00:37:05,641
How worrying.
601
00:37:06,683 --> 00:37:08,268
I just try not to think about it.
602
00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:12,814
- And you are married, Dr. Alfred?
Jndeed.
603
00:37:13,190 --> 00:37:15,150
It is kind of her to spare you.
604
00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:20,072
My wife's actually working abroad
at the moment in Geneva, so...
605
00:37:20,822 --> 00:37:24,159
So you two have more in common
than one might suppose.
606
00:37:28,372 --> 00:37:32,501
I have put my feet in it. Please forgive me.
607
00:37:33,001 --> 00:37:34,336
Perfect moment to retire to bed.
608
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:37,923
- Good night.
- Good night.
609
00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:39,258
Thank you for a lovely evening.
610
00:37:39,341 --> 00:37:40,759
You're welcome.
611
00:37:41,802 --> 00:37:43,762
- Dr. Alfred.
- Your Excellency.
612
00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:46,431
I know you have been persuaded to help us,
613
00:37:46,515 --> 00:37:48,183
but unless you do this with an open heart,
614
00:37:48,267 --> 00:37:51,144
I don't think anything will come of it.
615
00:37:51,228 --> 00:37:53,021
So, please, consider.
616
00:37:53,105 --> 00:37:54,481
Of course.
617
00:37:54,564 --> 00:37:56,858
I hope we meet again.
618
00:38:02,030 --> 00:38:03,156
Dr. Jones.
619
00:38:03,240 --> 00:38:04,283
Yes?
620
00:38:04,366 --> 00:38:07,828
Well, I was just wondering what you thought.
621
00:38:07,911 --> 00:38:09,705
Well, the sheikh's English
622
00:38:09,788 --> 00:38:12,416
has a certain tendency
towards the mystical, don't you think?
623
00:38:13,083 --> 00:38:17,379
But then, doolally as
this entire enterprise clearly is,
624
00:38:17,462 --> 00:38:20,882
I've had the most pleasant day I can
remember having for quite a long time.
625
00:38:20,966 --> 00:38:23,885
So, if the sheikh is paying, as it were,
on we go.
626
00:38:24,469 --> 00:38:25,470
Great.
627
00:38:25,887 --> 00:38:26,972
Good night, Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.
628
00:38:27,055 --> 00:38:28,140
Good night, Dr. Jones.
629
00:38:28,223 --> 00:38:29,725
It's been a pleasure.
630
00:38:29,975 --> 00:38:31,601
Yes.
631
00:38:55,125 --> 00:38:57,002
Have you any idea
what an outcry there would be
632
00:38:57,085 --> 00:39:01,214
if the Environment Agency
stripped British rivers of 10,000 salmon
633
00:39:01,298 --> 00:39:03,508
and shipped them off to the effing Yemen?
634
00:39:03,592 --> 00:39:04,676
Well, how many can you spare?
635
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:05,886
None!
636
00:39:05,969 --> 00:39:08,638
Christ, Bernard!
637
00:39:08,722 --> 00:39:11,516
Anglers, they're obsessive crazies.
638
00:39:12,267 --> 00:39:14,436
You think AI Qaeda are a threat,
think again, mate.
639
00:39:15,103 --> 00:39:17,189
I've seen a fly fisherman wade into a river
640
00:39:17,272 --> 00:39:21,276
and try and drown a canoeist
just for passing by in a Day-Glo jacket.
641
00:39:21,902 --> 00:39:25,405
You haven't got a hope in hell
of getting these fish from British rivers.
642
00:39:28,075 --> 00:39:30,160
- Yes?
- Dr. Jones. Hello.
643
00:39:30,243 --> 00:39:32,079
Ms. Chetwode-Talbot. How nice.
644
00:39:32,162 --> 00:39:33,955
- Did we book a meeting?
- No.
645
00:39:34,623 --> 00:39:37,042
You know how you said
that you wanted a meeting
646
00:39:37,125 --> 00:39:39,628
with the hydro-engineering team
from the Three Gorges Dam?
647
00:39:40,087 --> 00:39:41,671
- Did I say that?
- Yes.
648
00:39:41,755 --> 00:39:43,423
That might have been a little hasty.
649
00:39:43,507 --> 00:39:44,841
- They're outside.
- Who?
650
00:39:45,092 --> 00:39:47,719
The chief hydro-engineering team
from the Three Gorges Dam.
651
00:39:47,803 --> 00:39:48,804
Here?
652
00:39:48,929 --> 00:39:51,223
I e-mailed them about the flow rate calculus,
653
00:39:51,306 --> 00:39:53,225
and I think there must have
been some kind of...
654
00:39:53,308 --> 00:39:55,477
My Mandarin is very rusty.
655
00:39:58,980 --> 00:39:59,981
Bloody hell.
656
00:40:00,190 --> 00:40:03,777
We are able to control the flow of water
from the upstream dam.
657
00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:08,156
But we are...
658
00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:11,993
Well, we're concerned about
the capability of the sandstone walls.
659
00:40:14,788 --> 00:40:18,291
I mean, there's the possibility
also of some flash-flood scenario.
660
00:40:21,795 --> 00:40:23,171
Thank you very much.
661
00:40:26,383 --> 00:40:27,926
My God, do you think we got away with it?
662
00:40:28,009 --> 00:40:31,221
- Do you know, I think we did.
- I'm so sorry, Dr. Jones.
663
00:40:31,304 --> 00:40:34,141
No, please don't apologize.
I think we've just found our engineers.
664
00:40:34,224 --> 00:40:35,392
- Yes.
- I mean,
665
00:40:35,475 --> 00:40:38,019
should the project, of course, get that far.
666
00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:41,022
Your Mandarin was much better
than I expected.
667
00:40:41,189 --> 00:40:43,400
- Thank you.
- Bernard Sugden, Head of Department.
668
00:40:43,483 --> 00:40:44,484
Hello.
669
00:40:44,568 --> 00:40:45,944
Alfred not bothering you too much, I hope?
670
00:40:46,278 --> 00:40:47,320
No.
671
00:40:47,404 --> 00:40:49,281
Ms. Chetwode-Talbot from Fitzharris & Price.
672
00:40:49,364 --> 00:40:50,532
Hello.
673
00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:52,367
Bet he doesn't even know
your first name, does he?
674
00:40:53,118 --> 00:40:55,370
So, who were all those
little chippy-chappies?
675
00:40:55,454 --> 00:40:57,706
Those are the engineers
from the Three Gorges Dam.
676
00:40:58,081 --> 00:40:59,124
What, the one in China?
677
00:40:59,207 --> 00:41:01,501
- Is there another?
- Don't think there's another one.
678
00:41:02,836 --> 00:41:04,546
Would have appreciated an introduction.
679
00:41:04,754 --> 00:41:09,259
Bernard is the man who's responsible for
acquiring our 10,000 native Atlantic salmon.
680
00:41:09,342 --> 00:41:10,677
How's that coming along, Bernard?
681
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:14,222
Don't you worry about that, Fred.
It's all in hand.
682
00:41:14,806 --> 00:41:16,975
Well, don't dilly-dally.
Our end is coming along.
683
00:41:17,058 --> 00:41:19,186
- We're bang on schedule, in fact.
- Yes.
684
00:41:19,269 --> 00:41:22,189
A debrief in the canteen, or has Fred
brought in the famous sandwiches?
685
00:41:22,272 --> 00:41:24,941
Ms. Chetwode-Talbot and I
are going out for lunch, Bernard.
686
00:41:25,025 --> 00:41:26,568
There's lots to discuss.
687
00:41:26,651 --> 00:41:28,987
Clare, could you ask Betty to bring my bag?
Thank you.
688
00:41:29,070 --> 00:41:30,572
Certainly, Dr. Jones.
689
00:41:35,660 --> 00:41:38,288
Are you sure you won't have one?
690
00:41:38,371 --> 00:41:39,372
At lunch time?
691
00:41:39,998 --> 00:41:43,168
Dr. Jones, I haven't spoken
a word of Mandarin for about four years,
692
00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:45,337
so I am celebrating even if you're not.
693
00:41:45,420 --> 00:41:48,757
I only drink alcohol on the weekend.
And even then, only after 7:00.
694
00:41:49,257 --> 00:41:50,467
No exceptions?
695
00:41:50,926 --> 00:41:52,344
None that I can think of.
696
00:41:53,762 --> 00:41:56,097
Well, yeah. We got married on a Friday,
697
00:41:56,890 --> 00:41:59,809
but I think it was, as I recall,
a bank holiday in Northern Ireland,
698
00:41:59,893 --> 00:42:02,729
so I allowed myself, I think,
a glass on a technicality.
699
00:42:05,899 --> 00:42:08,109
That was an attempt at a joke,
Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.
700
00:42:08,777 --> 00:42:10,946
Right. Good one.
701
00:42:13,198 --> 00:42:15,283
Do you really think it's going extremely well?
702
00:42:15,867 --> 00:42:17,827
- What?
- The project.
703
00:42:17,911 --> 00:42:19,329
The project.
704
00:42:20,038 --> 00:42:22,207
Well, it's utter nonsense, of course,
705
00:42:22,290 --> 00:42:25,919
naturally, the bagatelle of a man
with more money than sense, but...
706
00:42:26,378 --> 00:42:29,714
I haven't actually found anything
to say that it couldn't work.
707
00:42:29,798 --> 00:42:31,550
You know, theoretically, of course.
708
00:42:31,633 --> 00:42:34,052
In theory.
Well, theoretically speaking, in theory it...
709
00:42:34,135 --> 00:42:35,345
- We'll see, yes.
- Of course.
710
00:42:36,638 --> 00:42:39,849
Actually, these are the companies
that have bid for the contract
711
00:42:39,933 --> 00:42:41,893
to build the holding tanks
at the downstream end of the wadi.
712
00:42:41,977 --> 00:42:43,728
- Shall we go through these?
- Now?
713
00:42:43,812 --> 00:42:45,438
Yes, we could go through them now.
714
00:42:45,522 --> 00:42:47,148
Well, we could work and eat, no?
715
00:42:47,399 --> 00:42:49,317
Yes, I... Yes, all right, then.
716
00:42:49,401 --> 00:42:50,694
- This one's from...
- Before that, cheers.
717
00:42:51,987 --> 00:42:54,364
- Cheers.
- Very bad luck with water.
718
00:42:55,156 --> 00:42:57,033
Some people think it's bad luck.
719
00:43:00,537 --> 00:43:02,539
- EWB...
- Sorry. Excuse me.
720
00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:05,166
It's the barracks. It's Robert.
721
00:43:05,250 --> 00:43:06,459
- Sorry.
- No. Go on.
722
00:43:06,543 --> 00:43:07,627
- Hello.
- Go ahead.
723
00:43:07,711 --> 00:43:08,920
Hello?
724
00:43:11,172 --> 00:43:12,591
Yes?
725
00:43:17,470 --> 00:43:18,555
What?
726
00:43:22,517 --> 00:43:23,685
What?
727
00:43:41,036 --> 00:43:43,246
Are you all right, Ms. Chetwode-Talbot?
728
00:43:45,582 --> 00:43:47,542
He's missing in action.
729
00:43:50,003 --> 00:43:51,421
What does that mean?
730
00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:56,676
- Come upstairs and we'll get you your...
- No, I just need a minute.
731
00:43:59,095 --> 00:44:02,015
Hello. My name's Harriet Chetwode-Talbot.
732
00:44:02,098 --> 00:44:07,270
Well, I only knew him for three weeks,
but I am Robert's girlfriend.
733
00:44:07,395 --> 00:44:09,939
I was wondering if you knew anything...
734
00:44:11,566 --> 00:44:12,859
Of course. Yes.
735
00:44:12,942 --> 00:44:15,028
Sorry, Mrs. Mayers. Yes, I...
736
00:44:16,237 --> 00:44:18,990
Yes, of course. Goodbye.
737
00:44:23,119 --> 00:44:27,207
You've reached Harriet Chetwode-Talbot.
Leave a message after the beep.
738
00:44:27,290 --> 00:44:30,168
Ms. Chetwode-Talbot, it's Dr. Jones here.
739
00:44:30,251 --> 00:44:32,921
Please forgive me for calling you
on your home number.
740
00:44:33,004 --> 00:44:35,340
I was at something of a loss.
741
00:44:35,423 --> 00:44:39,010
I realize that this has not been
an easy week for you,
742
00:44:39,094 --> 00:44:42,347
but I was wondering when you might be
coming back into the office.
743
00:44:42,430 --> 00:44:43,848
I had a very productive meeting
744
00:44:43,932 --> 00:44:46,601
with the engineers
from British Oxygen Company
745
00:44:46,685 --> 00:44:48,978
and, well, there's a lot of data coming in.
746
00:44:49,062 --> 00:44:51,106
Really a considerable amount.
747
00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:56,361
I'm sure I don't have to remind you
that we are working to a deadline.
748
00:44:56,444 --> 00:45:00,490
Time and tide, as I am sure you are aware,
waits for no man.
749
00:45:01,533 --> 00:45:02,784
Or woman.
750
00:45:04,536 --> 00:45:09,499
Anyway, I look fon/vard to hearing from you
at your earliest convenience. Goodbye.
751
00:45:45,118 --> 00:45:46,327
Can I come in?
752
00:45:47,746 --> 00:45:48,747
Why?
753
00:45:49,789 --> 00:45:51,499
Well, you might get cold.
754
00:45:59,799 --> 00:46:01,259
- Very nice.
- What?
755
00:46:02,343 --> 00:46:04,429
Your flat. Very pleasant.
756
00:46:15,774 --> 00:46:18,067
Look, I'm not...
I'm not coming into work, all right,
757
00:46:18,151 --> 00:46:19,319
because I need to stay here.
758
00:46:20,445 --> 00:46:22,530
I need to be here in case there's news.
759
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:26,868
So, actually,
anyone with a shred of understanding,
760
00:46:28,286 --> 00:46:31,831
or humanity, or simple feeling,
761
00:46:31,915 --> 00:46:35,919
who, frankly, wasn't suffering
from some kind of Asperger's,
762
00:46:36,002 --> 00:46:38,171
would know that the last thing that I need
763
00:46:38,254 --> 00:46:42,133
is your bullying little phone call
764
00:46:42,217 --> 00:46:45,929
asking me to come into work
so that you can update me on fish.
765
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:49,974
You want to fill me in on fishing.
766
00:46:50,058 --> 00:46:52,477
Well, Dr. Jones, you can take your work
767
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:55,772
and you can shove it up your unfeeling arse.
768
00:46:58,233 --> 00:47:00,485
I didn't come here to talk to you about work.
769
00:47:00,568 --> 00:47:01,736
Then why are you here?
770
00:47:02,821 --> 00:47:04,697
I made you a sandwich.
771
00:47:06,407 --> 00:47:07,408
Why?
772
00:47:07,492 --> 00:47:10,078
You're probably not eating. Are you?
773
00:47:16,376 --> 00:47:19,420
No. You see, it's very important.
774
00:47:21,214 --> 00:47:23,550
You must eat something.
775
00:47:28,012 --> 00:47:29,514
Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.
776
00:47:29,889 --> 00:47:31,224
Here.
777
00:47:33,893 --> 00:47:35,770
I don't know what to do.
778
00:47:37,021 --> 00:47:38,982
I don't know what to do because...
779
00:47:40,024 --> 00:47:41,734
I'm so sorry, Dr. Jones.
780
00:47:41,818 --> 00:47:44,779
Call me Fred. Just call me Fred.
781
00:47:45,864 --> 00:47:46,906
- You're all right now?
- Yeah.
782
00:47:47,740 --> 00:47:48,825
You all right?
783
00:47:48,908 --> 00:47:50,368
- Sorry.
- No, donT
784
00:47:51,661 --> 00:47:54,497
Why don't I get a plate and we...
You can put this on a plate.
785
00:47:54,581 --> 00:47:57,458
- Shall I do it?
- No, it's okay. I'll do it.
786
00:48:13,308 --> 00:48:18,897
I'm so sorry about what I said before.
That is just unforgivable.
787
00:48:18,980 --> 00:48:21,274
The great thing about people with Asperger's
788
00:48:21,357 --> 00:48:23,359
is it's very difficult to hurt their feelings.
789
00:48:23,443 --> 00:48:25,153
So it's all right,
you can say whatever you like.
790
00:48:27,322 --> 00:48:29,991
You don't have... You know, I was upset.
791
00:48:30,617 --> 00:48:32,243
And rightly so.
792
00:48:32,327 --> 00:48:37,081
Look, I took the liberty of
buying a wee bottle of wine.
793
00:48:37,165 --> 00:48:38,207
Now, I hope you don't mind.
794
00:48:38,291 --> 00:48:42,462
I know it's not the weekend,
but this one goes very well with duck.
795
00:48:43,421 --> 00:48:44,881
I'm not very hungry.
796
00:48:45,214 --> 00:48:47,008
Harriet, you've got to try and eat...
797
00:48:47,091 --> 00:48:49,552
Is it all right...
Is it all right for me to call you Harriet?
798
00:48:59,604 --> 00:49:02,273
My father is...
799
00:49:02,523 --> 00:49:04,108
He's ex-Army,
800
00:49:04,192 --> 00:49:08,488
so he's like very stiff upper lip
and don't make a fuss about anything,
801
00:49:08,571 --> 00:49:10,907
but I'm more of a gusher.
802
00:49:11,407 --> 00:49:13,576
I think that's his word for me, anyway.
803
00:49:14,744 --> 00:49:17,246
My upper lip's never been very stiff,
I'm afraid.
804
00:49:18,039 --> 00:49:20,458
But you still have a boyfriend.
805
00:49:20,541 --> 00:49:23,711
I mean, I don't know a great deal
about such things, but...
806
00:49:24,420 --> 00:49:26,506
Robert hasn't been listed
as being dead, has he?
807
00:49:26,589 --> 00:49:30,760
No. But I just feel that
"missing in action" is Army-speak for...
808
00:49:30,843 --> 00:49:33,680
Dead? No. No, as a civil servant,
I happen to know that
809
00:49:33,763 --> 00:49:37,809
the Ministry of Defense absolutely hate
uncertainty of any kind.
810
00:49:37,892 --> 00:49:40,520
If he were dead,
they would simply say "dead."
811
00:49:40,687 --> 00:49:41,980
Can you stop using that word, please?
812
00:49:42,063 --> 00:49:44,148
- I beg your pardon.
- It's okay.
813
00:49:48,403 --> 00:49:50,571
They say that they'll call when there's news.
814
00:49:51,864 --> 00:49:54,242
But they don't, so I guess there isn't.
815
00:49:58,913 --> 00:49:59,914
Come to the Yemen.
816
00:50:00,248 --> 00:50:02,333
We're leaving tomorrow, just for a few days.
817
00:50:02,417 --> 00:50:04,877
- Geological studies, engineering surveys.
- No.
818
00:50:04,961 --> 00:50:06,421
We even have a team of archeologists
819
00:50:06,546 --> 00:50:08,881
checking we're not about to submerge
the Ark of the Covenant,
820
00:50:08,965 --> 00:50:10,925
which would be unfortunate, you know.
821
00:50:12,135 --> 00:50:15,638
No, I can't leave
because there might be news and...
822
00:50:15,722 --> 00:50:18,349
Well, then, you'll fly back on
the sheikh's private jet immediately.
823
00:50:20,268 --> 00:50:21,686
Why would he do that?
824
00:50:21,769 --> 00:50:23,646
Because I asked him to.
825
00:50:25,106 --> 00:50:29,360
Your services are very highly valued
by the sheikh,
826
00:50:29,444 --> 00:50:31,112
and by me.
827
00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:36,617
The project really can't do without you.
828
00:50:38,161 --> 00:50:40,663
Who the hell cares?
829
00:50:40,788 --> 00:50:43,916
Project? I mean, it's fishing.
You know, who the hell cares?
830
00:50:44,917 --> 00:50:49,047
Well, strangely enough, I do.
831
00:50:49,130 --> 00:50:51,758
I mean, I know it's probably
just a terrible folly,
832
00:50:51,841 --> 00:50:56,387
but, still, I can't help
sometimes imagining that this
833
00:50:56,471 --> 00:50:59,223
crazy enterprise might just come off.
834
00:50:59,307 --> 00:51:01,976
You know, with a bit of luck
and with the right people.
835
00:51:04,103 --> 00:51:06,898
And you, you are most definitely,
most definitely
836
00:51:06,981 --> 00:51:08,649
one of the most rightest people
837
00:51:08,733 --> 00:51:10,568
that I've had the good fortune
to come across.
838
00:51:11,402 --> 00:51:15,448
If you'll forgive the grammatical
inadequacies of that sentence.
839
00:51:50,691 --> 00:51:52,985
Do you sometimes think
that maybe we're just
840
00:51:53,069 --> 00:51:55,780
part of a lavish practical joke?
841
00:51:55,863 --> 00:51:57,907
What do you mean? Salmon, here?
842
00:51:59,117 --> 00:52:01,327
Yes, I'm beginning to suppose that.
843
00:52:30,439 --> 00:52:32,275
I don't know anyone
that goes to church anymore.
844
00:52:33,442 --> 00:52:35,653
I don't think I do, either.
845
00:52:35,736 --> 00:52:38,489
On a Sunday, we go to Target.
846
00:52:53,921 --> 00:52:58,926
You know, this gravel here is perfect
for salmon to lay their eggs in between.
847
00:52:59,010 --> 00:53:00,636
Who'd have thought that here
in the middle of the Yemen,
848
00:53:00,720 --> 00:53:02,763
perfect spawning grounds for salmon?
849
00:53:11,230 --> 00:53:12,773
Fred, look.
850
00:53:12,857 --> 00:53:13,941
What?
851
00:53:16,152 --> 00:53:17,653
Yes.
852
00:53:22,283 --> 00:53:24,160
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
853
00:53:29,165 --> 00:53:30,374
Harriet, the water.
854
00:53:31,292 --> 00:53:33,419
- It's beautiful.
- It's cold.
855
00:53:34,629 --> 00:53:36,839
The water in her well is cold.
856
00:53:55,149 --> 00:53:56,609
Oh, my goodness.
857
00:53:58,361 --> 00:53:59,946
It's really happening, Fred.
858
00:54:00,029 --> 00:54:02,740
Oh, my goodness, it really is.
859
00:54:56,377 --> 00:54:57,503
Unbelievable.
860
00:54:59,380 --> 00:55:04,218
These men, they say that by bringing water,
life, to this desert,
861
00:55:04,302 --> 00:55:07,305
I am bringing the Western ways to our land.
862
00:55:07,388 --> 00:55:09,307
They say I have insulted God himself.
863
00:55:10,391 --> 00:55:12,184
I say they are fools.
864
00:55:13,811 --> 00:55:15,604
A thousand apologies, my friends.
865
00:55:15,688 --> 00:55:20,818
Please, this is not a way
to introduce you to our great enterprise.
866
00:55:23,279 --> 00:55:24,488
Look.
867
00:55:26,282 --> 00:55:28,784
Is it not magnificent?
868
00:55:29,452 --> 00:55:30,494
It's beautiful.
869
00:55:30,578 --> 00:55:31,746
Certainly is.
870
00:55:33,372 --> 00:55:35,082
Bloody amazing.
871
00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:38,044
- Hello.
- Hello.
872
00:56:08,491 --> 00:56:09,825
For the last time, Sugden,
873
00:56:09,909 --> 00:56:13,162
there is absolutely no way
I can get you these fish.
874
00:56:14,580 --> 00:56:17,416
Tom, this comes from the top. The very top.
875
00:56:17,500 --> 00:56:20,378
I don't care if God's taken up fly fishing.
876
00:56:20,461 --> 00:56:23,547
Now, I suggest you make this work, Tom.
877
00:56:23,631 --> 00:56:25,132
Is that a threat, Sugden?
878
00:56:25,466 --> 00:56:29,011
These are difficult days, Tom.
Cuts. Cuts everywhere.
879
00:56:29,929 --> 00:56:34,016
I don't know. Is the Environment Agency
a frontline service?
880
00:56:36,394 --> 00:56:38,396
That is a threat.
881
00:56:38,479 --> 00:56:40,189
See it as an opportunity.
882
00:56:46,153 --> 00:56:49,281
Well, then. An opportunity.
883
00:56:51,117 --> 00:56:55,037
Hilary, get me Matthew Sweet
from Fly Fishing Monthly, will you?
884
00:57:20,729 --> 00:57:23,441
That's all I've been told, and so I...
885
00:57:23,524 --> 00:57:25,901
Okay. All right, then.
886
00:57:25,985 --> 00:57:29,405
Well, please, please, please call me when...
887
00:57:31,282 --> 00:57:32,992
Okay. Bye.
888
00:57:33,492 --> 00:57:35,536
I'm so sorry. Did I wake you up?
889
00:57:35,619 --> 00:57:37,913
No. No, no. News?
890
00:57:37,997 --> 00:57:42,877
No. No, I was just
leaving a message on Robert's phone
891
00:57:44,879 --> 00:57:48,674
which is ridiculous
because he hasn't got his phone with him.
892
00:57:50,551 --> 00:57:52,470
And I know that.
893
00:57:52,553 --> 00:57:53,888
Just turning into a madwoman.
894
00:57:54,096 --> 00:57:55,139
No.
895
00:57:55,723 --> 00:58:00,436
No, when things get tricky in my life,
I talk to my fish.
896
00:58:02,563 --> 00:58:04,064
I have a pond.
897
00:58:05,232 --> 00:58:10,237
Talking to an answering machine
is no madder than chatting to koi carp.
898
00:58:11,447 --> 00:58:14,200
I just somehow wouldn't associate you
with having a tricky life.
899
00:58:17,161 --> 00:58:19,246
Well, it wouldn't do to talk about
your emotions with a colleague,
900
00:58:19,330 --> 00:58:20,789
would it, Ms. Chetwode-Talbot?
901
00:58:27,087 --> 00:58:28,589
No, I think...
902
00:58:29,757 --> 00:58:33,010
I think things are beyond tricky, really.
903
00:58:33,093 --> 00:58:35,971
They have been for some time.
904
00:58:36,055 --> 00:58:38,224
Mary's in Geneva. I'm here.
905
00:58:38,307 --> 00:58:40,267
The koi carp are alone in Surrey.
906
00:58:43,771 --> 00:58:46,065
We got married very young.
907
00:58:46,148 --> 00:58:47,900
I'm sorry, I didn't...
908
00:58:47,983 --> 00:58:50,194
I didn't really know things were hard.
909
00:58:50,277 --> 00:58:53,489
No, don't apologize. There's always hope.
910
00:58:54,782 --> 00:58:56,825
For me and for you.
911
00:59:03,082 --> 00:59:06,460
Do you know,
I can't even remember what he looks like.
912
00:59:07,294 --> 00:59:08,379
Not exactly.
913
00:59:10,631 --> 00:59:13,259
But I'm stuck,
914
00:59:14,134 --> 00:59:15,886
and I can't move on.
915
00:59:15,970 --> 00:59:17,263
Does that make any sense?
916
00:59:19,181 --> 00:59:21,016
Yes. Totally.
917
00:59:22,851 --> 00:59:26,021
I feel a bit like I've been stuck for years.
918
00:59:26,105 --> 00:59:28,107
Yes, but you can move on.
919
00:59:29,567 --> 00:59:31,485
Well, I suppose in theory.
920
00:59:34,613 --> 00:59:36,657
You should be happy, Fred.
921
00:59:45,499 --> 00:59:47,501
I knew you'd have a pond.
922
01:00:14,987 --> 01:00:19,575
The traitor has had his chance.
923
01:00:20,784 --> 01:00:22,703
You know what to do.
924
01:00:24,163 --> 01:00:26,040
Do not fail us.
925
01:00:39,762 --> 01:00:43,599
I think the idea of taking
Scottish salmon to a foreign country
926
01:00:43,682 --> 01:00:44,892
is absolutely absurd.
927
01:00:44,975 --> 01:00:48,979
These fish have been running these
rivers for tens of thousands of years.
928
01:00:49,063 --> 01:00:51,106
I've fished the rivers of Scotland all my life.
929
01:00:51,482 --> 01:00:52,608
Yes, Prime Minister.
930
01:00:52,691 --> 01:00:56,070
It would appear that the gentle fisherfolk
are not so effing gentle after all.
931
01:00:56,153 --> 01:00:58,280
...rape and pillage of our national rivers...
932
01:00:58,364 --> 01:00:59,740
What, ditch the whole thing?
933
01:01:00,574 --> 01:01:02,326
No. No, no, no, Prime Minister.
934
01:01:02,409 --> 01:01:06,246
No, we mustjust find the fish
somewhere bloody else.
935
01:01:22,429 --> 01:01:24,682
Your turrets are blocking my reception.
936
01:01:24,765 --> 01:01:27,935
Well, I'm terribly sorry about that, madam.
If you'd care to follow me, please.
937
01:01:31,105 --> 01:01:32,606
Mrs. Maxwell.
938
01:01:32,856 --> 01:01:34,775
- Pleasure to meet you.
- It's an honor.
939
01:01:36,026 --> 01:01:38,028
Happy birthday, Patricia.
940
01:01:38,112 --> 01:01:41,073
Yes, we could do with
a few more like you in Cabinet.
941
01:01:41,156 --> 01:01:42,282
Very good, Your Excellency.
942
01:01:43,409 --> 01:01:47,162
I'm grateful, indeed, that you could
spare some time for our little project.
943
01:01:47,287 --> 01:01:50,290
Yes. Well, we have gone out on
a bit of a limb for you, Your Excellency,
944
01:01:50,374 --> 01:01:52,084
but the Prime Minister does love his fishing.
945
01:01:52,167 --> 01:01:54,712
- Really?
- Yes. Rod's never out of his hand.
946
01:01:55,963 --> 01:01:57,548
Anyway, down to business.
947
01:01:58,006 --> 01:02:01,343
The fish. The salmon.
We're not gonna get it out of British waters.
948
01:02:02,302 --> 01:02:04,805
There's a bloody big fuss about it,
as no doubt you've heard.
949
01:02:04,972 --> 01:02:07,224
Don't know what it is about fishing.
Anyway, no-goer.
950
01:02:09,810 --> 01:02:11,645
- Yes, but I thought...
- However,
951
01:02:13,021 --> 01:02:15,399
I have solved your problem.
952
01:02:17,025 --> 01:02:19,570
See? There must be thousands
in this one alone.
953
01:02:19,820 --> 01:02:22,656
This guy's got four fish farms
up and down the coast.
954
01:02:22,740 --> 01:02:25,409
Stocks all the Tescos.
Right under your nose.
955
01:02:25,492 --> 01:02:28,412
These fish were bred for the dinner table.
It's barbaric.
956
01:02:28,495 --> 01:02:29,913
They've never run in their lives.
957
01:02:29,997 --> 01:02:31,749
Neither have their forebears
for two generations.
958
01:02:31,832 --> 01:02:32,833
Why would they run for us?
959
01:02:32,916 --> 01:02:34,793
...the difference in these salmon...
960
01:02:34,877 --> 01:02:35,919
We'd open the sluices
961
01:02:36,003 --> 01:02:38,422
and they would just drift off downstream
never to be seen again.
962
01:02:38,505 --> 01:02:42,718
Well, get a couple of days fishing out of it,
then just re-stock or whatever the word is.
963
01:02:42,801 --> 01:02:44,052
Seems to be no shortage of them.
964
01:02:44,678 --> 01:02:47,514
...In transit for the supermarkets.
965
01:02:47,598 --> 01:02:50,601
These fish will never run.
They're just not right.
966
01:02:50,684 --> 01:02:52,478
Not right?
Well, a fish is a fish is a fish, isn't it?
967
01:02:52,561 --> 01:02:56,899
No. You see, Mrs. Maxwell, I have a vision.
968
01:02:57,733 --> 01:03:00,235
Tired, bloated pretenders
are not part of this vision.
969
01:03:00,736 --> 01:03:03,989
Well, unfortunately,
Her Majesty's Government also has a vision,
970
01:03:04,072 --> 01:03:06,658
and that vision is farmed fish or no fish.
971
01:03:06,742 --> 01:03:08,577
Then I must thank you
for your precious time.
972
01:03:08,869 --> 01:03:09,870
And decline.
973
01:03:12,873 --> 01:03:16,251
No advisers, either.
Back at your desk on Monday, Fred.
974
01:03:17,544 --> 01:03:19,505
Well, in that case, I resign.
975
01:03:19,588 --> 01:03:20,798
Resignation accepted.
976
01:03:20,881 --> 01:03:22,716
- Thank you.
- Pleasure.
977
01:03:26,011 --> 01:03:28,639
So, this leaves us with what?
978
01:03:28,722 --> 01:03:30,390
Well, with no salmon.
979
01:03:32,267 --> 01:03:34,812
We must have faith, Dr. Alfred.
980
01:03:34,895 --> 01:03:37,064
Well, that's a very laudable sentiment,
Your Excellency,
981
01:03:37,147 --> 01:03:39,983
but we're running out of time.
982
01:03:40,067 --> 01:03:42,277
Can't catch faith with a fishing rod.
983
01:04:07,427 --> 01:04:08,846
Hello, Fred.
984
01:04:19,690 --> 01:04:21,900
Sheikh Muhammed bin Zaidi bani Tihama!
985
01:04:29,116 --> 01:04:31,451
Are you okay? Are you okay?
986
01:04:32,536 --> 01:04:34,121
I didn't think he looked right, that man.
987
01:04:34,454 --> 01:04:36,373
And he pulled out a gun! Are you all right?
988
01:04:36,456 --> 01:04:37,499
- Yes.
- Are you sure?
989
01:04:37,583 --> 01:04:38,584
Yes.
990
01:04:42,462 --> 01:04:45,048
Thank you. Thank you, Dr. Alfred.
Thank you very much.
991
01:04:45,132 --> 01:04:48,802
Don't be silly. Don't be silly.
It was only a cast, really.
992
01:04:50,053 --> 01:04:51,680
A very good cast.
993
01:04:52,931 --> 01:04:55,726
An essential cast, one might say.
994
01:04:55,809 --> 01:04:59,187
Yes, I suppose one might say that.
995
01:04:59,438 --> 01:05:01,565
- Here.
- My God, Fred. Are you all right?
996
01:05:01,648 --> 01:05:03,984
Yeah, yeah. It was very quick.
It was over in a flash, really.
997
01:05:04,067 --> 01:05:05,235
How did you do that?
998
01:05:05,319 --> 01:05:07,487
I did a right-handed snake roll. Did I get him?
999
01:05:07,571 --> 01:05:10,073
Yes, it was extraordinary.
1000
01:05:12,159 --> 01:05:13,827
- Are you all right?
- Yes, thank you very much.
1001
01:05:15,203 --> 01:05:18,373
Please, continue your work
as if nothing had happened.
1002
01:05:18,457 --> 01:05:19,750
Of course, of course.
1003
01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:20,959
I owe you my life.
1004
01:05:21,043 --> 01:05:22,544
No. Please, come on. Anyone would have...
1005
01:05:22,628 --> 01:05:25,881
This is not one of those
British metaphors, Dr. Alfred.
1006
01:05:25,964 --> 01:05:27,299
The debt will be repaid.
1007
01:05:28,884 --> 01:05:30,260
- Bye, now.
- Goodbye.
1008
01:05:30,344 --> 01:05:31,678
Bye.
1009
01:05:39,853 --> 01:05:42,773
In response to the Right
Honorable Member's question
1010
01:05:42,856 --> 01:05:44,983
of the 7th of last month,
1011
01:05:45,067 --> 01:05:47,653
the Ministry of Defense can now confirm
1012
01:05:47,736 --> 01:05:50,447
that an engagement by British Special Forces
1013
01:05:50,530 --> 01:05:54,326
against known terrorists
did occur on the 13th of September.
1014
01:05:55,243 --> 01:05:57,621
The details of this operation are classified.
1015
01:05:57,704 --> 01:06:01,041
However, I am at liberty to say
1016
01:06:01,124 --> 01:06:04,294
that serious casualties
were incurred by the British forces.
1017
01:06:05,712 --> 01:06:09,716
I deeply regret to inform the House
that there were no survivors.
1018
01:06:11,051 --> 01:06:14,304
An internal investigation is being carried out.
1019
01:07:08,775 --> 01:07:11,194
Sorry to wake you up.
1020
01:07:11,778 --> 01:07:13,864
- No, don't be.
- It's just...
1021
01:07:14,448 --> 01:07:15,532
It's okay.
1022
01:07:15,615 --> 01:07:17,284
It's just...
1023
01:07:17,367 --> 01:07:20,412
I just never got the chance
to really know him.
1024
01:08:25,560 --> 01:08:26,853
Mary?
1025
01:08:26,978 --> 01:08:29,356
Fred? There you are.
1026
01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:30,690
I had no idea you were...
1027
01:08:30,774 --> 01:08:33,276
I got a day off and thought,
"Why not surprise him?"
1028
01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:36,196
I've got this wonderful
Swiss mountain Comté
1029
01:08:36,279 --> 01:08:39,282
from a little shop round the corner
in Geneva.
1030
01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:42,202
Is everything all right, Fred?
1031
01:08:42,285 --> 01:08:44,955
Where's your suit and tie? Day off?
1032
01:08:46,039 --> 01:08:47,207
I resigned.
1033
01:08:48,542 --> 01:08:49,709
Don't be ridiculous.
1034
01:08:50,252 --> 01:08:51,962
You've resigned?
1035
01:08:52,212 --> 01:08:54,673
What about your pension? It's final salary.
1036
01:08:55,298 --> 01:08:57,801
Well, the government pulled out
of the salmon fishing project
1037
01:08:57,884 --> 01:09:00,011
and we'd put a lot of time and energy into it.
1038
01:09:00,095 --> 01:09:02,722
I didn't want to walk away from that.
1039
01:09:03,306 --> 01:09:04,307
Well?
1040
01:09:05,016 --> 01:09:08,228
Well, everyone involved.
1041
01:09:09,062 --> 01:09:11,982
I'm still being paid,
if that's what you're worried about.
1042
01:09:12,065 --> 01:09:13,859
Fitzharris & Price have been more than...
1043
01:09:13,942 --> 01:09:16,903
I might have known she'd be involved.
1044
01:09:16,987 --> 01:09:19,781
If you're referring to Harriet,
we're working on the project together.
1045
01:09:19,865 --> 01:09:20,949
Of course she's involved.
1046
01:09:21,032 --> 01:09:23,702
- Harriet?
- What do you mean exactly by that, Mary?
1047
01:09:23,785 --> 01:09:27,080
I've seen her photograph
on the Fitzharris & Price website.
1048
01:09:27,873 --> 01:09:29,249
You're making a fool of yourself.
1049
01:09:29,332 --> 01:09:30,584
Now it's you that's being ridiculous.
1050
01:09:30,917 --> 01:09:32,335
Am I'?
1051
01:09:32,419 --> 01:09:35,589
I'm not the one abandoning a decent,
highly respected job
1052
01:09:35,672 --> 01:09:39,301
for a joke fishing project
and a short-skirted office girl.
1053
01:09:39,384 --> 01:09:42,053
- She's not an office girl.
- What is she, then, Fred? Hey?
1054
01:09:42,137 --> 01:09:43,388
Just what is she?
1055
01:09:43,471 --> 01:09:44,931
She's a colleague.
1056
01:09:45,015 --> 01:09:47,350
- She's a very talented colleague and...
- And?
1057
01:09:48,101 --> 01:09:50,604
And a friend! She's just a friend!
1058
01:10:09,456 --> 01:10:11,458
Are you in love with her?
1059
01:10:14,502 --> 01:10:17,380
I've done nothing, Mary.
I have no expectations.
1060
01:10:17,464 --> 01:10:20,050
I didn't ask about your expectations.
1061
01:10:21,009 --> 01:10:23,595
I asked if you were in love with her.
1062
01:10:27,891 --> 01:10:32,103
This is a mid-life crisis.
It's textbook, it's pathetic.
1063
01:10:32,187 --> 01:10:33,230
I'm so sorry, Mary.
1064
01:10:34,397 --> 01:10:37,817
You'll be back, Fred. Or you'll try.
1065
01:10:39,402 --> 01:10:42,781
Six months and you'll be
begging to be taken back in.
1066
01:10:44,491 --> 01:10:45,951
It's in your DNA.
1067
01:10:46,701 --> 01:10:49,996
You'd think a bloody scientist
would know that much!
1068
01:11:23,363 --> 01:11:27,284
Six months and you'll be
begging to be taken back in.
1069
01:11:28,535 --> 01:11:30,787
It's in your DNA.
1070
01:11:42,632 --> 01:11:45,010
We don't need native river fish.
1071
01:11:45,093 --> 01:11:47,304
We'll be all right with farmed salmon.
1072
01:11:48,471 --> 01:11:50,932
I know. I don't much like them, but...
1073
01:11:51,016 --> 01:11:52,684
Well, they will run. I know it.
1074
01:11:54,769 --> 01:11:56,313
Yes, Your Excellency.
1075
01:11:57,272 --> 01:12:00,650
Despite our moral
and philosophical objections,
1076
01:12:00,734 --> 01:12:02,652
farmed salmon will run.
1077
01:12:02,736 --> 01:12:04,362
I'm absolutely sure of it.
1078
01:12:05,071 --> 01:12:07,073
You are tireless, Doctor.
1079
01:12:08,074 --> 01:12:10,243
You have uncovered some new research?
1080
01:12:10,660 --> 01:12:12,579
A new paper, perhaps?
1081
01:12:12,662 --> 01:12:14,247
No, I just know it.
1082
01:12:16,082 --> 01:12:19,669
You just know it. I see.
1083
01:12:26,176 --> 01:12:27,844
Faith, Dr. Alfred.
1084
01:12:31,598 --> 01:12:34,392
Damn it. Yes, all right, then, faith.
1085
01:13:11,221 --> 01:13:12,347
So?
1086
01:13:14,516 --> 01:13:15,517
They're alive.
1087
01:13:47,424 --> 01:13:49,384
That hurts!
1088
01:13:51,553 --> 01:13:53,304
Sorry, sweetie.
1089
01:13:53,388 --> 01:13:54,514
- Mrs. Maxwell?
- What?
1090
01:13:54,597 --> 01:13:57,100
Amazing news.
One of the officers presumed dead,
1091
01:13:57,183 --> 01:13:59,436
Captain Robert Mayers, has been found alive.
1092
01:14:00,186 --> 01:14:02,439
- Good.
- Yes, we're very pleased.
1093
01:14:02,522 --> 01:14:03,648
Yes, very good.
1094
01:14:03,731 --> 01:14:05,358
It's very good news for the family.
1095
01:14:05,442 --> 01:14:07,694
And his girlfriend, Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.
1096
01:14:07,777 --> 01:14:12,157
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Who else knows about this?
1097
01:14:12,240 --> 01:14:13,450
You're the first to know.
1098
01:14:13,533 --> 01:14:15,243
Right, keep it that way.
1099
01:14:15,326 --> 01:14:17,078
Total press embargo. Do you understand?
1100
01:14:17,162 --> 01:14:19,914
- Yes, Mrs. Maxwell.
- That salmon fishing thing.
1101
01:14:19,998 --> 01:14:21,374
Is that still happening?
1102
01:14:21,458 --> 01:14:22,959
As far as I'm aware.
1103
01:14:23,042 --> 01:14:24,627
- It is?
- Yes.
1104
01:14:24,711 --> 01:14:26,129
- Yemen?
- Yes.
1105
01:14:26,629 --> 01:14:28,006
Perfect.
1106
01:14:29,090 --> 01:14:32,260
Yes, this is all coming together very nicely.
1107
01:15:26,272 --> 01:15:29,400
I intended to create a small miracle.
1108
01:15:29,484 --> 01:15:33,780
Something to glorify God
and bring our tribes together.
1109
01:15:34,614 --> 01:15:39,285
Sometimes I wonder if we haven't
created something that glorifies man.
1110
01:15:40,578 --> 01:15:41,788
It is a very fine line.
1111
01:15:43,581 --> 01:15:45,291
Hubris, Dr. Alfred.
1112
01:15:47,001 --> 01:15:48,461
Hubris.
1113
01:16:06,938 --> 01:16:09,023
- It's nice here.
- Beautiful.
1114
01:16:18,324 --> 01:16:24,205
You know, Fred, this project,
it saved me. I think.
1115
01:16:25,415 --> 01:16:27,250
You know, with everything that happened.
1116
01:16:29,627 --> 01:16:32,005
So those farmed fish had better run.
1117
01:16:32,088 --> 01:16:33,923
- I believe they will.
- You do?
1118
01:16:34,340 --> 01:16:38,011
Yes, I believe that it's in the very core
of their being to head upstream
1119
01:16:38,094 --> 01:16:42,056
even if they never have,
even if the parent fish never have.
1120
01:16:46,060 --> 01:16:47,604
Look at this.
1121
01:16:50,231 --> 01:16:51,691
Look at that.
1122
01:16:55,278 --> 01:16:57,488
Mary said something about me.
1123
01:16:59,866 --> 01:17:05,038
She said that I was genetically programmed
to return to a dull pedestrian life with her.
1124
01:17:05,955 --> 01:17:07,790
That it was in my DNA.
1125
01:17:10,543 --> 01:17:11,628
Do you think that you are?
1126
01:17:13,421 --> 01:17:17,717
No. No, I belong here. I always have done.
1127
01:17:29,562 --> 01:17:31,064
- Harriet.
- Yes.
1128
01:17:36,444 --> 01:17:40,239
I was wondering about you and me.
1129
01:17:43,701 --> 01:17:45,995
The theoretical possibility in the same way
1130
01:17:46,079 --> 01:17:49,666
as a manned mission to Mars
is a theoretical possibility.
1131
01:17:49,749 --> 01:17:51,125
Obviously.
1132
01:17:54,170 --> 01:17:56,381
Or salmon fishing in the Yemen.
1133
01:18:05,640 --> 01:18:06,683
Yes.
1134
01:18:08,142 --> 01:18:09,852
- Yes?
- Yes.
1135
01:18:12,772 --> 01:18:14,816
I just need a little time.
1136
01:18:15,733 --> 01:18:18,194
Of course, of course. All the time you want.
1137
01:18:20,279 --> 01:18:21,823
Thank you.
1138
01:18:23,825 --> 01:18:25,368
Thank you.
1139
01:18:38,923 --> 01:18:40,591
- Mr. Foreign Secretary.
- Brian Fleet.
1140
01:18:40,675 --> 01:18:41,676
The great fisherman.
1141
01:18:41,926 --> 01:18:44,804
The great...
Well, it has been a little while, to be honest.
1142
01:18:44,887 --> 01:18:46,472
A bit rusty, you know.
1143
01:18:46,556 --> 01:18:49,142
Some skills are never forgotten.
1144
01:18:49,225 --> 01:18:53,271
Please, follow this man to your tent.
I shall join you shortly.
1145
01:18:53,354 --> 01:18:55,231
What have you been saying?
1146
01:18:55,314 --> 01:18:57,942
Fishing's the last thing anyone's
gonna be interested in, trust me.
1147
01:18:58,025 --> 01:19:01,404
Get ready for the photo op of a lifetime,
Sonny Jim.
1148
01:19:01,487 --> 01:19:04,115
N-S-R. No salmon required.
1149
01:19:09,996 --> 01:19:12,999
Is that a Woolly Jones?
1150
01:19:13,082 --> 01:19:14,709
No, this is a new one I've invented.
1151
01:19:14,792 --> 01:19:16,419
IS it?
1152
01:19:16,502 --> 01:19:17,628
What's it called?
1153
01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:24,302
This one is called
the Chetwode-Talbot Beauty.
1154
01:19:24,802 --> 01:19:25,928
That's very nice.
1155
01:19:26,012 --> 01:19:27,597
It's true.
1156
01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:29,182
You're not being funny?
1157
01:19:29,265 --> 01:19:31,434
No, I don't have a sense of humor,
as you recall.
1158
01:19:31,517 --> 01:19:33,770
That is true.
1159
01:19:41,027 --> 01:19:43,196
- Beautiful.
- Yes, she is.
1160
01:19:58,544 --> 01:19:59,754
Here.
1161
01:19:59,837 --> 01:20:01,547
Thank you.
1162
01:20:04,467 --> 01:20:07,762
Don't you think we should be
doing something, Fred? Preparing?
1163
01:20:07,845 --> 01:20:09,096
L am preparing-
1164
01:20:09,180 --> 01:20:11,307
Well, for the whole thing, you know.
1165
01:20:11,390 --> 01:20:14,644
Everything's done, Harriet, it's fine.
Just relax.
1166
01:20:14,727 --> 01:20:16,729
Did you just...
1167
01:20:16,813 --> 01:20:19,440
Dr. Alfred Jones just told me to relax.
1168
01:20:21,234 --> 01:20:23,820
What is the world coming to?
1169
01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:37,416
Oh, my God.
1170
01:20:45,258 --> 01:20:46,300
Harriet.
1171
01:21:27,884 --> 01:21:29,468
Right, Harriet and Robert...
1172
01:21:42,106 --> 01:21:43,900
Right, okay. Shut up, hacks.
1173
01:21:43,983 --> 01:21:45,985
No military stuff. It's classified.
1174
01:21:46,068 --> 01:21:47,236
Anyway, I don't think you'd understand it.
1175
01:21:47,320 --> 01:21:51,073
The only thing you need to know
is that this man, Captain Mayers here,
1176
01:21:51,157 --> 01:21:52,617
is a war hero.
1177
01:21:53,326 --> 01:21:55,036
Human interest stuff only. Sir.
1178
01:21:55,328 --> 01:21:58,122
Harriet, can you tell us how it feels?
1179
01:21:58,205 --> 01:22:01,918
It feels like it's a...
1180
01:22:02,001 --> 01:22:05,254
It's a... It's a shock, but it's wonderful.
1181
01:22:05,338 --> 01:22:06,881
Please can we have a kiss?
1182
01:22:08,716 --> 01:22:10,343
Go on. Come on.
1183
01:22:17,600 --> 01:22:19,393
I am sorry, my friend.
1184
01:22:19,477 --> 01:22:22,188
No- No, it's- - -
1185
01:22:22,271 --> 01:22:24,565
It's a miracle.
1186
01:22:24,649 --> 01:22:25,942
Indeed.
1187
01:22:27,652 --> 01:22:30,780
Nevertheless, I'm sorry.
1188
01:22:31,697 --> 01:22:33,366
All right, gentlemen, gentlemen,
I think that's all.
1189
01:22:33,449 --> 01:22:35,785
A little privacy for the couple, please.
1190
01:22:35,868 --> 01:22:37,954
I'd just like to say
that the British government
1191
01:22:38,037 --> 01:22:40,414
is proud to have played
a small but significant part
1192
01:22:40,498 --> 01:22:45,044
in this extraordinary reunion
of Harriet and Captain Mayers.
1193
01:22:46,379 --> 01:22:48,172
That's what we're here for.
1194
01:23:12,154 --> 01:23:14,156
This is strange.
1195
01:23:15,199 --> 01:23:16,492
Bad strange?
1196
01:23:16,575 --> 01:23:18,244
No, good strange.
1197
01:23:25,793 --> 01:23:28,921
Do you mind if we don't...
1198
01:23:29,797 --> 01:23:31,507
No, of course not.
1199
01:23:33,801 --> 01:23:35,428
There's no rush.
1200
01:23:40,641 --> 01:23:42,435
Will you just hold me?
1201
01:23:54,822 --> 01:23:57,491
How did you get caught up in this, H?
1202
01:23:58,534 --> 01:24:02,038
Salmon fishing out here? It's ridiculous.
1203
01:24:04,707 --> 01:24:07,293
Well, you never know with the sheikh.
1204
01:24:09,211 --> 01:24:13,883
I expect there will be a six-star hotel
and a golf course before you know it.
1205
01:24:14,675 --> 01:24:16,802
That's not his style at all.
1206
01:24:19,680 --> 01:24:21,474
Don't you believe it.
1207
01:24:23,684 --> 01:24:26,353
He's gotta make his money back somehow.
1208
01:24:27,354 --> 01:24:29,648
They're no fools, these Arabs.
1209
01:25:37,133 --> 01:25:39,135
You don't sleep, either?
1210
01:25:40,386 --> 01:25:41,846
No, not much.
1211
01:25:42,888 --> 01:25:44,098
Well...
1212
01:25:46,725 --> 01:25:50,646
At least there's no bloody journos
around at this time, anyway.
1213
01:25:54,525 --> 01:25:57,486
You've been very good to Harriet, Fred.
1214
01:25:57,570 --> 01:25:59,363
I appreciate it.
1215
01:25:59,738 --> 01:26:01,615
I love her.
1216
01:26:02,533 --> 01:26:04,410
Yeah, she's great.
1217
01:26:05,119 --> 01:26:07,121
She's really great.
1218
01:26:07,705 --> 01:26:08,789
No.
1219
01:26:10,374 --> 01:26:11,750
I love her.
1220
01:26:25,806 --> 01:26:27,474
Does she love you?
1221
01:26:29,059 --> 01:26:30,686
I don't know now.
1222
01:26:31,854 --> 01:26:34,690
Yesterday, you weren't alive.
1223
01:26:34,940 --> 01:26:37,109
Well, I apologize for
not being dead in a ditch.
1224
01:26:39,361 --> 01:26:42,114
I don't think I can accept your apology.
1225
01:26:45,492 --> 01:26:47,036
Is that a joke?
1226
01:26:50,456 --> 01:26:54,835
Yes, yes, sort of. I'm not...
I've never been very good at jokes.
1227
01:27:00,132 --> 01:27:02,426
It's all right, Robert. Really.
1228
01:27:03,802 --> 01:27:05,346
It's all right.
1229
01:27:15,356 --> 01:27:17,149
The day has arrived.
1230
01:27:18,150 --> 01:27:20,277
Before the dam, this was a dry riverbed.
1231
01:27:21,070 --> 01:27:23,781
And now, as you all can see, we have water.
1232
01:27:24,406 --> 01:27:28,786
And today, we hope we shall discover
the one missing thing.
1233
01:27:29,078 --> 01:27:31,330
So, thank you, one and all, for coming
1234
01:27:32,164 --> 01:27:34,959
as not one of you, not even my dear self,
1235
01:27:35,042 --> 01:27:38,754
knows if this curious experiment of mine
will actually work.
1236
01:27:39,129 --> 01:27:41,090
It better had bloody work.
1237
01:27:41,173 --> 01:27:43,384
Doesn't matter if it works or not, dolly.
1238
01:27:43,467 --> 01:27:45,094
All that matters is you.
1239
01:27:45,177 --> 01:27:47,429
Fishing on Sky tonight with our war hero.
1240
01:27:47,513 --> 01:27:49,932
- I haven't done this in years.
- For God's sake.
1241
01:27:50,015 --> 01:27:51,433
There are 10,000 fish in there.
1242
01:27:51,517 --> 01:27:55,604
If you can't hook one of them,
you can just flip off back to Transport.
1243
01:27:55,688 --> 01:27:59,525
My intention is to color this desert in green.
1244
01:28:01,026 --> 01:28:03,320
Make an agricultural industry for my people,
1245
01:28:03,404 --> 01:28:06,782
and the sons and daughters of my people
for generations to come.
1246
01:28:07,366 --> 01:28:09,159
- Right on cue.
- So here we are,
1247
01:28:09,243 --> 01:28:12,454
Muslims, Christians and the odd heathen.
1248
01:28:12,538 --> 01:28:16,959
We are all gathered here in an act of faith.
And why not?
1249
01:28:18,877 --> 01:28:22,589
And now, the moment
that we are all waiting for,
1250
01:28:22,673 --> 01:28:25,551
the fruits of all our efforts.
1251
01:28:27,052 --> 01:28:28,137
The moment of truth.
1252
01:28:29,847 --> 01:28:31,056
Open the sluices.
1253
01:28:46,447 --> 01:28:47,489
Where's it going?
1254
01:28:47,573 --> 01:28:50,075
It's going the wrong way.
It's heading downstream.
1255
01:29:03,630 --> 01:29:04,715
Wait a minute.
1256
01:29:12,639 --> 01:29:15,267
It's turned around. Wait. Wait, wait.
1257
01:29:16,101 --> 01:29:17,686
- Look, they're going upstream.
- Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
1258
01:29:20,731 --> 01:29:22,941
Oh, my God, they're running. Fred, look.
1259
01:29:27,446 --> 01:29:29,198
Look!
1260
01:29:29,281 --> 01:29:31,325
- They're running, Fred!
- They're running!
1261
01:29:35,454 --> 01:29:38,624
Blondie. Come down here, come on.
Come down here now.
1262
01:29:38,707 --> 01:29:40,709
Look, we ought to get a picture of him
with the sheikh.
1263
01:29:43,253 --> 01:29:45,255
- It's working, Your Excellency.
- It is.
1264
01:29:45,339 --> 01:29:47,841
They are running upstream, look!
1265
01:29:47,925 --> 01:29:50,511
Let's go fishing, Dr. Alfred.
1266
01:30:14,076 --> 01:30:15,244
Turn it on, dolly.
1267
01:30:15,494 --> 01:30:16,578
I need to get further out.
1268
01:30:16,662 --> 01:30:19,706
For God's sakes. Come on, off you go!
1269
01:30:20,457 --> 01:30:21,792
Have you got that?
1270
01:30:21,875 --> 01:30:24,920
Yes, Mrs. Maxwell.
But can we get them closer together?
1271
01:30:25,003 --> 01:30:27,297
God, I'll give it a go. Robert, darling.
1272
01:30:28,215 --> 01:30:30,134
Can you come... Can you turn around a bit?
1273
01:30:31,718 --> 01:30:34,012
I'm worried about
what he's doing with his rod.
1274
01:30:52,531 --> 01:30:54,116
Lovely. And, Brian,
1275
01:30:54,575 --> 01:30:56,618
just a nice smile, that would be good.
1276
01:30:56,702 --> 01:30:58,328
Did you get that?
1277
01:31:00,289 --> 01:31:02,666
God, he's useless, isn't he?
1278
01:31:09,715 --> 01:31:12,301
More fun without waders, Dr. Alfred.
1279
01:31:12,384 --> 01:31:13,469
Yes.
1280
01:31:31,236 --> 01:31:32,988
I think I caught one, Dr. Alfred.
1281
01:31:33,071 --> 01:31:34,406
It's a beauty, Your Excellency.
1282
01:31:38,744 --> 01:31:40,454
Look out behind you!
1283
01:31:40,537 --> 01:31:42,247
Your Excellency, behind you!
1284
01:32:08,398 --> 01:32:09,525
Step UP-
1285
01:32:09,608 --> 01:32:11,652
No, you first!
1286
01:32:12,277 --> 01:32:15,781
I repay my debts, Dr. Alfred.
1287
01:32:15,864 --> 01:32:18,450
- Okay. I'll pull you up. After...
- Okay.
1288
01:32:27,042 --> 01:32:30,254
Here, Your Excellency, hold on.
Here, come on.
1289
01:34:02,554 --> 01:34:05,807
We won't need these anymore.
1290
01:34:34,753 --> 01:34:37,506
I just don't understand who would do this.
1291
01:34:37,589 --> 01:34:38,965
Why would they do this?
1292
01:34:40,759 --> 01:34:43,470
I know who. And I know why.
1293
01:34:43,553 --> 01:34:47,182
Can't you find them? Arrest them?
1294
01:34:47,265 --> 01:34:48,558
What for?
1295
01:34:50,310 --> 01:34:51,520
Jusfice.
1296
01:34:55,023 --> 01:34:56,358
Jusfice.
1297
01:34:59,486 --> 01:35:04,199
I think these destroyers... Bad men, certainly.
1298
01:35:05,951 --> 01:35:07,911
But I think perhaps they have a point.
1299
01:35:10,080 --> 01:35:14,334
I expected people to understand
what we were doing here.
1300
01:35:14,793 --> 01:35:19,423
I expected them to see
that it was really not about fishing at all.
1301
01:35:23,468 --> 01:35:27,514
In the end, I asked for too much.
1302
01:35:31,643 --> 01:35:32,853
Will you try again?
1303
01:35:37,315 --> 01:35:40,068
The question is "Will we try again?"
1304
01:35:41,361 --> 01:35:43,155
This was ours.
1305
01:35:45,365 --> 01:35:48,368
Yes, I think maybe Robert wants to go home.
1306
01:35:50,495 --> 01:35:52,622
So, I don't... I don't know.
1307
01:35:56,042 --> 01:35:58,170
Does home call, Dr. Fred?
1308
01:35:59,379 --> 01:36:01,923
I don't really have a home anymore.
1309
01:36:03,383 --> 01:36:05,594
There was a moment
when I had everything, but...
1310
01:36:06,887 --> 01:36:09,347
Well, now I don't know what to do.
1311
01:36:13,018 --> 01:36:15,562
When the time comes, you will know.
1312
01:36:22,986 --> 01:36:24,154
Well, until then.
1313
01:36:51,890 --> 01:36:53,558
Thank you.
1314
01:36:57,562 --> 01:36:59,856
Just gonna say goodbye to Fred.
1315
01:37:01,483 --> 01:37:02,484
Are you sure?
1316
01:37:03,276 --> 01:37:04,694
Sorry?
1317
01:37:10,742 --> 01:37:12,285
Listen, Harriet.
1318
01:37:14,412 --> 01:37:17,499
When I was in the desert,
1319
01:37:17,582 --> 01:37:21,711
the only thing that kept me going
was the thought of you.
1320
01:37:31,263 --> 01:37:33,348
You don't owe me anything.
1321
01:37:35,058 --> 01:37:37,269
I want you to understand that.
1322
01:38:12,429 --> 01:38:13,680
So...
1323
01:38:15,765 --> 01:38:17,142
We're going.
1324
01:38:22,522 --> 01:38:23,773
I'm so sorry, Fred.
1325
01:38:23,857 --> 01:38:27,110
It was an extraordinary idea.
It almost worked, too.
1326
01:38:30,280 --> 01:38:32,782
I wasn't talking about the project.
1327
01:38:33,533 --> 01:38:35,660
No, I'm not sure that I was.
1328
01:38:39,831 --> 01:38:42,000
I never meant to hurt you like this.
1329
01:38:42,167 --> 01:38:43,501
It's not your fault.
1330
01:38:51,176 --> 01:38:53,303
I don't know what to do.
1331
01:38:54,512 --> 01:38:57,015
I can't help you there, I'm afraid.
1332
01:38:59,851 --> 01:39:01,686
Are you going to stay?
1333
01:39:03,021 --> 01:39:04,522
Stay for what?
1334
01:39:06,858 --> 01:39:08,360
There's nothing here anymore.
1335
01:39:09,694 --> 01:39:13,531
Not you, not a single fish left in the river.
1336
01:39:24,542 --> 01:39:27,504
Well, someone's gonna have to make a move.
Good luck, Harriet.
1337
01:39:31,549 --> 01:39:34,302
Dr. Alfred, look!
1338
01:39:42,394 --> 01:39:43,561
They're alive!
1339
01:39:55,073 --> 01:39:56,741
I'm going to stay.
1340
01:39:58,410 --> 01:40:00,245
I want to start again.
1341
01:40:01,413 --> 01:40:03,373
I'll do it on my own if I have to.
1342
01:40:03,456 --> 01:40:05,250
I'll start small, though, this time.
1343
01:40:06,042 --> 01:40:08,503
A different approach.
Just a few fish to begin with.
1344
01:40:08,586 --> 01:40:10,130
Involve the local community more.
1345
01:40:10,422 --> 01:40:13,550
Make it their project, not ours.
That's the way to protect it.
1346
01:40:18,096 --> 01:40:20,140
Do you need an assistant, Dr. Jones?
1347
01:40:20,724 --> 01:40:24,644
Well, I suppose I will.
I'm sure the sheikh has somebody that...
1348
01:40:26,312 --> 01:40:27,772
An assistant?
1349
01:40:30,859 --> 01:40:32,193
A partner.
1350
01:40:34,779 --> 01:40:35,822
A partner.
1351
01:40:39,451 --> 01:40:41,578
Yes, Ms. Chetwode-Talbot.
1352
01:40:43,288 --> 01:40:44,998
More than anything.