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Ladies and Gentlemen...
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Welcome, the best Comedian Stand-up
in the world and pride of Montreal...
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Thank you!
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All right!
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Really, Sidney!
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Applause for Starting from Scratch
and DJ Spinbalm, ladies and gentlemen.
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Just to know, that's what
someone must do DJ.
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They are DJing and looking at you,
because they are playing songs.
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I know some of you
spend money to see DJs....
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who stood in a wide arena like this,
and his hand was raised up.
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They might play DJ with his penis,
that's what I mean. Because...
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If your hand is lifted up,
who plays the music?
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As if you paid to watch me,
and I aired the DVD and left.
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Stand up and make a heart shape.
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It's nice to be here again.
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All right, man.
I'm not sure you're a white person.
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It's not easy again.
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When I saw white people,
you immediately knew she was white.
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When I was a child I saw white people, I didn't need ask,
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"Are you white?"
"What do you think?"
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But now you have to confirm.
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Are you, sir?
Are you white?
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Yes.
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You even doubted yourself.
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You have to look over your shoulder,
and... .
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"Looks like yes. I... uh..."
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Because you're not like
most people are skin
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white. Your arms aren't
furry like immigrants.
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Do you know what I mean?
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It's not like...
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Hey, is your hand like that?
Your hands are hairy. Look at his hands.
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Gosh. Look.
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That... It's not like
white skin in general, friend.
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I don't know... That... Like
belongs Italy, Greece, or whatever.
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00:03:33,305 --> 00:03:34,251
I don't know what happened to that.
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Where are your parents from? /
English.
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English ? Oh, so...
Yes, it's very white.
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Actually there is the origin of the factory.
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You're an Englishman who is very
hairy, isn't it ?
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00:03:54,340 --> 00:03:56,747
♪ ♪ ♪
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I smell the bristles of English people.
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00:04:05,347 --> 00:04:07,892
You know why I have to ask this?
I just came from Florida...
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00:04:08,260 --> 00:04:10,781
You've been to Florida, in America?
If you've been to Florida...
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00:04:10,911 --> 00:04:13,324
Everyone in Florida, looks like
everyone in this room...
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00:04:13,831 --> 00:04:14,983
Before they open their mouths.
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00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:17,732
Spanish, glides from their mouths.
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00:04:19,339 --> 00:04:21,338
Unlike most Spanish,
as if you can guess
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00:04:21,349 --> 00:04:23,402
what they think and
do in Spanish.
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00:04:23,873 --> 00:04:25,641
You can tell, when
you say "hello", you
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00:04:25,652 --> 00:04:27,431
can see "hello" enter
into his head.
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"Hello?" and you see:
hello = ola.
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00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:41,236
Reply with, "Khello."
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00:04:49,516 --> 00:04:52,181
And you know their "khello" begins with
with the letter J, that the best part.
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00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:57,412
"Jello. Greetings are
the best service for me."
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00:05:01,752 --> 00:05:04,386
It's annoying to me.
I like Spanish but...
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00:05:04,759 --> 00:05:07,256
If you go to a place in
where everyone speaks the language
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00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:09,647
Spanish, and they should
speak English...
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Very annoying.
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Because when they see brown skin,
they think something will happen.
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Every time I go to Florida...
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00:05:27,965 --> 00:05:30,688
Listen, Fernando...
I don't want to dance now.
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00:05:32,243 --> 00:05:34,676
This is a gas station,
> it will feel awkward.
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00:05:36,993 --> 00:05:38,318
When I talk to
the guy that I
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00:05:38,329 --> 00:05:39,878
doesn't speak the language
Spanish, he answers...
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00:05:40,074 --> 00:05:42,091
"What kind of Latinos do
not speak Spanish?"
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00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,344
When I say I'm not
Latin, he reacts like a man
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00:05:47,355 --> 00:05:50,260
who hires prostitutes and know
that prostitutes are men.
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00:05:52,991 --> 00:05:54,905
"No, I'm not a Latin."
"What are you!?
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00:05:58,277 --> 00:06:01,923
Pointing at my cock as I answered as if,
" What is that? "
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00:06:04,695 --> 00:06:05,920
I like Spanish,
but it looks annoying
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00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,014
when people use it
every day...
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00:06:07,352 --> 00:06:10,752
"Ola!" "Ola!"
"Comos estas?" "Ola!"
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00:06:12,450 --> 00:06:14,614
I have to know that I'm getting sick,
because when I enter a shop...
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00:06:14,949 --> 00:06:17,448
I see Indians in turbines,
and I'm excited.
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00:06:18,719 --> 00:06:20,343
I'm like, "Thank you! My people!"
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00:06:22,047 --> 00:06:23,775
I said, "How are you, man?"
He replied, "Ola."
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00:06:23,815 --> 00:06:24,716
Gosh.
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00:06:31,414 --> 00:06:33,102
You can't speak Spanish with
Indian head movements...
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00:06:33,525 --> 00:06:34,425
It's not like that!
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00:06:34,718 --> 00:06:35,619
"Que paso?"
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00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:49,706
During an excursion,
there is always something fun
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00:06:49,717 --> 00:06:52,439
di jalanan negara
yang kudatangi.
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00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:54,396
I...
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00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:56,897
I am in Thailand.
And many of you have been to Thailand,
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00:06:57,344 --> 00:07:01,193
Not far from here. I like how
you don't want to admit it because...
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00:07:02,426 --> 00:07:04,046
You guys are masher.
That's why.
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00:07:06,749 --> 00:07:07,649
Thailand is amazing.
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00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:09,982
When I go to a country that I've never visited, I
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00:07:09,993 --> 00:07:11,330
are interested in what
is famous for from that country...
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00:07:11,586 --> 00:07:13,229
Not a Ladyboy.
Pervert pirates.
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00:07:16,268 --> 00:07:17,193
I'm in Bangkok.
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00:07:20,415 --> 00:07:22,082
Know what's funny from Bangkok?
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00:07:22,926 --> 00:07:26,126
No matter how old you are, when you hear Bangkok,
you will laugh.
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00:07:27,701 --> 00:07:29,105
I am 40 when I go to Bangkok.
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00:07:31,279 --> 00:07:33,125
Since you started thinking
about the syllables...
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00:07:33,691 --> 00:07:35,350
You started thinking < br /> how can that name be
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00:07:35,361 --> 00:07:37,340
selected. How do they
make a meeting and...
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00:07:37,677 --> 00:07:41,076
"We need a name for this city, ok?
Take a break, then come back."
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00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:44,501
Ouch!
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00:07:52,121 --> 00:07:53,833
"What's wrong?"
" Penis hit! " (Banged Cock)
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00:08:03,860 --> 00:08:07,800
Don't you wonder how
they got the name Phuket island?
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00:08:08,448 --> 00:08:09,348
Do you know what I mean?
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00:08:09,483 --> 00:08:11,572
"What is the name of the island ? "
" I don't know, care about the devil (fuck it)... "
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00:08:18,068 --> 00:08:19,940
I went to...
When I was in Bangkok I went to...
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I went to Thai massage.
That's what is famous.
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00:08:23,931 --> 00:08:25,778
Just to know, when you go to Thailand
and want a Thai massage service...
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00:08:26,371 --> 00:08:29,031
Let's say you want a massage.
Not "Thai massage"
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00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,235
because they understand that
is enough Thai.
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00:08:36,763 --> 00:08:39,400
But I don't know one of my friends < br>> about Thai massage...
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00:08:39,737 --> 00:08:42,980
It's actually very common for girls there
giving massage to the area...
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00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:51,866
Not shaking dice...
I mean...
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00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:54,833
Makes you orgasm.
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00:08:56,974 --> 00:08:57,946
And I said, "Okay."
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00:08:59,925 --> 00:09:02,359
And I...
Just wondering why they did it,
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00:09:02,697 --> 00:09:04,497
It's not like I'm interested,
I just want to know why.
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00:09:04,676 --> 00:09:08,195
And he answered, "Because you know...
If the whole
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00:09:08,206 --> 00:09:11,295
your body is relaxed except
the center part...
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00:09:12,145 --> 00:09:13,045
You're exhausted. "
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00:09:14,455 --> 00:09:19,094
And then," Most men
relax after... "Right?
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00:09:22,373 --> 00:09:25,886
And if it's massaged in that part,
you are like jelly when you leave.
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00:09:30,389 --> 00:09:33,001
You can tell because everyone
who walks in Bangkok looks...
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00:09:36,861 --> 00:09:38,643
"Is he jazzed? "
" No, he just got a massage. "
124
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:43,458
So I said," Okay. I'll try. "
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00:09:45,009 --> 00:09:47,869
So I went on a massage, and luckily...
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00:09:49,668 --> 00:09:54,488
When I was there, they said
that this girl was not allowed to...
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00:09:56,803 --> 00:09:58,785
They were no longer allowed
to make you orgasm.
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00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:03,197
And that makes everyone disappointed.
Because it's the core of the party.
129
00:10:03,782 --> 00:10:06,591
Because even though they make you orgasm,
not done like when...
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00:10:07,284 --> 00:10:08,185
Outside...
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00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,607
Here will be considered
dirty when, "Hey, man,
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00:10:09,618 --> 00:10:11,058
you want to get
massage and blow job? "
133
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:12,979
You know it's like...
134
00:10:13,115 --> 00:10:14,826
That sounds disgusting.
135
00:10:15,447 --> 00:10:17,946
Like when you get a hand job ,
and the girl says...
136
00:10:18,459 --> 00:10:19,360
"Oh, it's big."
137
00:10:20,459 --> 00:10:21,926
And she spends your time and...
138
00:10:22,921 --> 00:10:24,335
None of that
relates to
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00:10:24,346 --> 00:10:26,110
sexuality, he only
tries to make you relax...
140
00:10:26,650 --> 00:10:28,838
So it's like two pumping "ding-ding"
exit.
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00:10:30,828 --> 00:10:33,487
They don't care about the size,
just "dinging, out."
142
00:10:37,412 --> 00:10:38,636
So...
I tried to find out...
143
00:10:39,166 --> 00:10:40,700
What will happen when massage.
144
00:10:41,544 --> 00:10:43,704
So I ask, "What's wrong?"
" I don't know. Just find out. "
145
00:10:44,014 --> 00:10:47,236
" All right. Will he still make me an orgasm? " "Maybe. I don't know."
146
00:10:47,805 --> 00:10:50,291
So I went for a massage,
and there was a Thai girl
147
00:10:50,302 --> 00:10:52,355
small she gave
a nice massage...
148
00:10:52,692 --> 00:10:57,510
On my back, my legs, knees, my legs,
my chest, and he arrived at my "stuff".
149
00:10:59,348 --> 00:11:00,824
And I know something will happen, right?
150
00:11:01,354 --> 00:11:03,517
But I don't know what, so I just
lean back and relax...
151
00:11:05,092 --> 00:11:07,298
Dan aku merasakan sensasi
luar biasa di penisku.
152
00:11:08,132 --> 00:11:11,397
And I thought maybe he did...
You know, on the sidelines of the arms...
153
00:11:11,735 --> 00:11:12,635
I don't know...
154
00:11:13,030 --> 00:11:16,294
In the past there were movements like that,
maybe like...
155
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,206
"Oh, do you like that?"
I don't know. I just said.
156
00:11:21,255 --> 00:11:23,619
I thought he did it with legs,
which... I like it...
157
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:26,569
I like it with feet.
I like it that.
158
00:11:26,885 --> 00:11:29,676
So I... I feel
this sensation so I'm curious.
159
00:11:30,261 --> 00:11:33,663
I want to see what's wrong. So I got up
and I swear he did this...
160
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:46,558
He gave the best
wrist-job in my life.
161
00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:51,651
I never knew we could < > do it with your wrist.
162
00:11:52,708 --> 00:11:56,358
I returned to the hotel that night,
because I thought I could try it.
163
00:11:57,434 --> 00:11:59,123
Duduk di pinggir tempat tidur dan...
"Baiklah."
164
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,601
Just for the record, if
you want to try it,
165
00:12:09,452 --> 00:12:11,546
Remove your watch.
That's my advice.
166
00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:15,783
Don't make yourself
get a penis sprained.
167
00:12:22,186 --> 00:12:23,855
Are there Middle Eastern or Arabic people?
Arabic?
168
00:12:27,106 --> 00:12:28,006
Very many Arabic.
169
00:12:29,773 --> 00:12:30,809
Number of dangerous ones.
170
00:12:33,207 --> 00:12:35,572
What Arabic models are you? /
Lebanon.
171
00:12:35,910 --> 00:12:36,810
"Lebanon!"
172
00:12:38,936 --> 00:12:39,994
What is Lebanese?
173
00:12:41,570 --> 00:12:43,732
A hamburger topping that I don't know?
174
00:12:45,137 --> 00:12:47,838
"Yes, I want...
I want a Hamburger."
175
00:12:49,724 --> 00:12:52,673
I'm following
your style of speech, man. I don't know why...
176
00:12:53,471 --> 00:12:54,370
It makes me laugh.
177
00:13:05,638 --> 00:13:08,049
Do you have strong ties
where you have to say
178
00:13:08,531 --> 00:13:12,717
"Don't worry. Stop worrying. "
179
00:13:13,411 --> 00:13:15,823
Aku juga merasa harus memasukkan
wortel ke mulut kalian saat bicara.
180
00:13:29,239 --> 00:13:31,670
"Don't worry."
Don't worry.
181
00:13:34,453 --> 00:13:35,353
Don't worry.
182
00:13:41,861 --> 00:13:46,340
Lebanese.
I want soy sauce mixed with lebanese.
183
00:13:47,668 --> 00:13:49,397
What is Lebanese? That's lemon and mayonnaise.
That...
184
00:13:51,180 --> 00:13:53,455
I thought it should be lemonaise.
Lebanese sounds good.
185
00:13:56,247 --> 00:13:57,957
My Lebanese friend once returned to Beirut?
186
00:14:00,245 --> 00:14:01,145
I told you...
187
00:14:01,856 --> 00:14:04,451
I've been partying in any
, and so far,
188
00:14:04,462 --> 00:14:07,013
without wanting to offend
you guys, guys...
189
00:14:07,586 --> 00:14:09,276
Because I'm afraid.
190
00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:14,182
But...
191
00:14:14,767 --> 00:14:19,046
Of all the places in the world,
Beirut has the best party!
192
00:14:19,631 --> 00:14:20,531
As if they were...
193
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:24,268
They were partying as if there were no tomorrow.
194
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:35,055
Bodies are everywhere.
195
00:14:37,268 --> 00:14:38,709
You never saw a cigarette chain... .
196
00:14:39,375 --> 00:14:42,123
You went to Beirut, you saw a chain of
cigarettes,
197
00:14:42,605 --> 00:14:45,241
Turn on cigarettes, finish and smoke again.
198
00:14:45,579 --> 00:14:47,001
Lebanese, three in one moment.
199
00:14:48,081 --> 00:14:51,144
One in this hand, in this hand,
and fake cigarettes on mouth.
200
00:14:52,946 --> 00:14:55,718
I asked, "You are not afraid of cancer?"
"I will not die of cancer."
201
00:14:59,252 --> 00:15:02,901
"You have the medicine?" "Jews will
kill us before I get cancer.
202
00:15:03,238 --> 00:15:04,678
" I don't need to care about cancer.
203
00:15:06,112 --> 00:15:08,029
"Cancer will not affect me.
Don't worry . "
204
00:15:11,216 --> 00:15:14,120
I know the problem in the Middle East.
Get my Arabic, listen.
205
00:15:15,466 --> 00:15:17,157
Here's how to make changes there.
206
00:15:17,741 --> 00:15:23,438
This is the main problem, Arab men won't
ever say "No. I don't know."
207
00:15:24,892 --> 00:15:26,406
They will never
say no, and
208
00:15:26,417 --> 00:15:28,044
they won't admit
don't know anything.
209
00:15:28,508 --> 00:15:30,940
Not very manly to men
man to know nothing.
210
00:15:31,494 --> 00:15:34,805
No matter what, if he doesn't know,
he'll make it up...
211
00:15:36,259 --> 00:15:37,363
And he will yell at you.
212
00:15:38,691 --> 00:15:41,326
It doesn't matter what you ask,
a simple example...
213
00:15:41,744 --> 00:15:44,515
"Know how to make cakes? Because of me. .. "
" Yes, of course. "
214
00:15:47,328 --> 00:15:49,289
" Everyone knows how to make a cake. "
215
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:53,792
Really? Because I don't
know how to make cakes.
216
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,513
Can you show me?
Yes.
217
00:16:00,581 --> 00:16:04,859
Do you know the sign when an Arab man is lying?
He start the answer with "Okay."
218
00:16:06,093 --> 00:16:09,090
That's the first sign when
you know he's lying.
219
00:16:09,923 --> 00:16:11,273
Because I said, "I don't know.
How do I make a cake? "
220
00:16:12,124 --> 00:16:13,025
" Okay. "
221
00:16:14,613 --> 00:16:15,695
" First, take the cake. "
222
00:16:20,350 --> 00:16:22,132
" Then make it for twenty minutes.
223
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:25,427
"Be the cake."
224
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:29,847
Are you sure?
225
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,078
Because I don't think that's the way.
226
00:16:32,416 --> 00:16:35,017
That's the only way to make a cake!
They have
227
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:37,280
used that method
since time immemorial!
228
00:16:38,446 --> 00:16:40,788
I answered, okay, don't go crazy.
I just asked.
229
00:16:40,788 --> 00:16:43,672
No matter what you ask,
whatever it is...
230
00:16:44,163 --> 00:16:45,448
If they don't know,
they will make it up.
231
00:16:45,785 --> 00:16:48,815
This happened to me last year.
I am in Dubai, I
232
00:16:48,826 --> 00:16:51,618
at Bloomingdales, an
department store...
233
00:16:52,222 --> 00:16:55,352
American Department Stores, so
there is clearly Jewish problem in Arabia.
234
00:16:55,937 --> 00:16:58,865
So, I'm at Bloomingdales,
I want to get out of the shop.
235
00:16:59,203 --> 00:17:01,760
I'm looking for an escalator and there is security
stand up and I approach him .. .
236
00:17:01,998 --> 00:17:03,642
"Hi. Is there an escalator here?"
"Yes."
237
00:17:06,227 --> 00:17:07,916
"Where do you know?"
"Yes, of course."
238
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,844
"Where can I tell me?"
"Yes."
239
00:17:23,397 --> 00:17:24,635
" Then tell me! "
240
00:17:26,932 --> 00:17:27,832
" Okay. "
241
00:17:31,549 --> 00:17:33,868
" Straight, left, right. "
242
00:17:35,980 --> 00:17:37,600
I have no reason to
doubt a man this.
243
00:17:38,362 --> 00:17:41,021
Straight, left, right.
So I walk straight...
244
00:17:41,908 --> 00:17:42,807
I turn left...
245
00:17:43,561 --> 00:17:45,229
And I turn to right facing the wall.
246
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:51,216
There is another man in the shop, I ask
"Sorry sir, there is an escalator here?"
247
00:17:51,554 --> 00:17:52,568
"Do you see an escalator?"
248
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,360
"I don't know, because
that's what I asked."
249
00:17:58,162 --> 00:18:00,819
"Maybe they put
the wall in front of it?"
250
00:18:04,085 --> 00:18:06,022
"I don't know. I ask you. "
251
00:18:07,009 --> 00:18:09,148
" Why do you think there are
escalators on this wall? "
252
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,659
"Because the employee here told me
there is an escalator here."
253
00:18:15,245 --> 00:18:16,145
"Maybe he's lying."
254
00:18:18,145 --> 00:18:21,544
"Who is lying about escalators?" > "Maybe the man."
255
00:18:25,227 --> 00:18:28,942
"Are there escalators in this shop?"
"Sure. How do you go up and down?"
256
00:18:30,991 --> 00:18:34,165
"Do you know where? " "I'm working at
here." "Likewise with that man."
257
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,182
"Where can you tell me?"
"Yes."
258
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,700
"Where!?"
259
00:18:41,028 --> 00:18:41,929
"Okay."
260
00:18:43,816 --> 00:18:48,815
"Back.
Then go straight, left, and right."
261
00:18:49,508 --> 00:18:51,760
"No, no, no.
That's my place.
262
00:18:52,345 --> 00:18:55,452
"That's the same direction."
"That's the right direction."
263
00:18:56,285 --> 00:18:57,706
"Are you sure?"
"Why am I lying?"
264
00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:01,984
"Why is that guy lying !?"
"That's the problem."
265
00:19:04,703 --> 00:19:08,847
"Okay, thank you." So I returned
and met the man who lied to me.
266
00:19:09,185 --> 00:19:12,587
I hope, as a man, this person
will continue to lie to me.
267
00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:15,040
At least, do that. < br /> When I say,
268
00:19:15,179 --> 00:19:17,664
"Hey, man, there's no escalator there."
I hope the man responds,
269
00:19:17,695 --> 00:19:21,905
"What ??? Was there at
there, an hour ago! "
270
00:19:26,239 --> 00:19:27,139
" They moved it !? "
271
00:19:28,652 --> 00:19:31,059
But no. I said, "Hey, man.
There are no escalators there."
272
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:32,338
He reacted...
273
00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:36,765
That was a problem in the Middle East.
274
00:19:37,103 --> 00:19:39,763
Arabs, you need to know how
answered "No, I don't know."
275
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:41,964
Are you aware of what chaos
can be avoided?
276
00:19:42,063 --> 00:19:47,221
Perang Irak tak akan terjadi. Mereka tahu
mereka tak punya senjata pemusnah massal.
277
00:19:48,339 --> 00:19:50,725
But when the US asked, "Do you
have weapons of mass destruction?"
278
00:19:51,035 --> 00:19:52,345
"Yes, of course!"
279
00:19:58,511 --> 00:20:01,169
"Everyone has weapons
mass destruction. "
280
00:20:02,265 --> 00:20:04,672
Even the Iraqi people say,
" What are you doing !? Shut up! "
281
00:20:06,293 --> 00:20:09,219
" Where? "
" Okay. "
282
00:20:12,168 --> 00:20:14,284
"Straight, left, right."
283
00:20:19,777 --> 00:20:22,365
And I don't speak Arabic,
unfortunately I don't speak other languages.
284
00:20:22,676 --> 00:20:25,292
I know. .. Sentences in other languages,
but...
285
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:28,337
I have a theory, if you don't speak
another language, you can fake it.
286
00:20:29,125 --> 00:20:33,402
The trick is , to know other
languages, and when you want to look similar,
287
00:20:33,404 --> 00:20:35,205
It sounds angry when you say it.
288
00:20:35,748 --> 00:20:38,269
Because when you are angry, you mess up
whatever you want say.
289
00:20:38,819 --> 00:20:40,376
No matter what language you use.
290
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:44,584
You will be angry and screw it up.
291
00:20:45,239 --> 00:20:46,487
So if you know
how it sounds, you
292
00:20:46,498 --> 00:20:48,118
can fake it with
pretending to be angry.
293
00:20:48,337 --> 00:20:51,581
For example, if I go to India,
there are more than 200 languages in India.
294
00:20:52,149 --> 00:20:55,000
I don't know any. I know
address language, but don't know
295
00:20:55,011 --> 00:20:57,825
how to use it
to solve the problem.
296
00:20:58,978 --> 00:21:01,726
But I know how it sounds.
And when I stuck in India,
297
00:21:01,737 --> 00:21:04,537
and I need help I'm enough
faked it. They won't know.
298
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:06,957
I'm stranded on the market and me...
299
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:13,799
They will know. They will...
300
00:21:13,988 --> 00:21:15,905
Gosh, he is very angry. I don't know.
301
00:21:17,937 --> 00:21:22,005
I don't know what dialect he said.
But he's very
302
00:21:22,016 --> 00:21:26,473
marah. Dia paling marah. Dia sangat stress.
Sangat stress.
303
00:21:27,747 --> 00:21:29,659
That's what
people need to do, you don't want
304
00:21:29,670 --> 00:21:31,506
that negative energy and
pull it out of your head
305
00:21:32,399 --> 00:21:35,551
Get out of my mind
and enter to my car!
306
00:21:44,057 --> 00:21:47,417
It's the same as the language
whatever you can fake.
307
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:48,445
I went to Hong Kong two weeks ago
then, if I got lost there...
308
00:21:48,547 --> 00:21:51,535
Fuck, I don't speak Cantonese,
but I know the sound. I just got angry.
309
00:21:56,372 --> 00:21:58,623
"I don't know what language
the man uses...
310
00:22:00,060 --> 00:22:02,177
" But whatever it is, he is very angry.
311
00:22:03,569 --> 00:22:06,699
"Very angry. I've never
seen someone that badly."
312
00:22:23,757 --> 00:22:25,380
Fat Asian guy, how are you?
Nice to see you.
313
00:22:26,708 --> 00:22:27,903
You know you're fat , isn't it?
314
00:22:31,519 --> 00:22:33,412
Which part of Asia are you? /
Chinese.
315
00:22:33,398 --> 00:22:34,298
Chinese?
316
00:22:35,606 --> 00:22:37,564
Never heard of an accent like that.
317
00:22:38,644 --> 00:22:40,513
Oh, I'm not talking Chinese.
318
00:22:42,583 --> 00:22:44,769
Where are you from? /
Lebronne, Australia.
319
00:22:44,858 --> 00:22:45,759
Lebronne, Australia?
320
00:22:52,061 --> 00:22:53,749
And, uh...
Are you a big fan of meat? Or...
321
00:22:55,722 --> 00:22:57,660
Based on the shirt!
The writing is "Meat"! I don't know.
322
00:22:59,236 --> 00:23:00,136
Written there.
323
00:23:08,378 --> 00:23:09,864
What is your name? / Peter.
324
00:23:10,418 --> 00:23:12,108
Peter, of course. Of course.
325
00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:16,220
And your girlfriend?
"She's Wong. This is Wong."
326
00:23:19,405 --> 00:23:20,600
Have a Chinese name, Peter?
327
00:23:22,306 --> 00:23:23,423
Don't lie to me, Peter
328
00:23:25,466 --> 00:23:26,886
I don't believe you.
329
00:23:27,966 --> 00:23:31,165
Where are your parents from? /
From... China, Tanchan.
330
00:23:31,566 --> 00:23:32,466
Where? / Tanchan.
331
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,733
Tanchan? I told Tanchan
is the name of a building...
332
00:23:36,071 --> 00:23:37,511
If you don't tell your Chinese name...
333
00:23:41,606 --> 00:23:43,655
It's impossible for your parents to say,
"This is a baby us, Peter. "
334
00:23:47,591 --> 00:23:49,014
It's impossible.
335
00:23:51,436 --> 00:23:52,971
Except your name is Peeeta.
336
00:23:53,588 --> 00:23:56,989
Do you know what I mean?
Your family's name is Ta, your first name is Pee.
337
00:23:58,582 --> 00:23:59,530
Pee Ta.
338
00:24:05,268 --> 00:24:06,351
Fei Lou, Pee Ta!
339
00:24:09,886 --> 00:24:11,733
My language is very messy, Peter.
Sorry.
340
00:24:12,813 --> 00:24:15,223
And a beautiful girl with you, he's
white. Married? Fiance?
341
00:24:15,624 --> 00:24:19,360
Uh... Fiance. / Engagement?
Congratulations. When will you get married?
342
00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:24,295
Don't know?
No hurry?
343
00:24:25,542 --> 00:24:26,782
He said, "No. Fuck."
344
00:24:29,386 --> 00:24:31,933
How long has it been you together? /
Four years.
345
00:24:32,411 --> 00:24:34,294
Four years? Will
wait until eight
346
00:24:34,305 --> 00:24:36,286
years because it's a number
good luck in China?
347
00:24:40,461 --> 00:24:42,420
"In the end, I'm fine.
No worry.
348
00:24:44,469 --> 00:24:46,225
"Next time, we will talk about it."
349
00:24:48,274 --> 00:24:50,615
And how do you meet (meet)?
And meet I mean not...
350
00:24:56,561 --> 00:24:58,001
How do you meet each other?
351
00:24:58,835 --> 00:25:00,367
Work?
Good. How old are you, Peter?
352
00:25:00,952 --> 00:25:03,877
Uh... 28./
28, good. Don't rush to get married...
353
00:25:04,368 --> 00:25:06,573
when you were 28.
You're also 28 years old, honey?
354
00:25:06,953 --> 00:25:07,853
As long? Oh that's good.
355
00:25:08,191 --> 00:25:09,229
Oh.
356
00:25:13,773 --> 00:25:15,250
Do you want to have a mixed Asian child, man?
357
00:25:16,725 --> 00:25:17,873
That's what I mean, man.
358
00:25:20,638 --> 00:25:21,090
Good.
359
00:25:21,535 --> 00:25:23,404
I have...
I have a baby. Daughter.
360
00:25:23,742 --> 00:25:25,658
I like it.
361
00:25:27,459 --> 00:25:27,549
Yes.
362
00:25:27,865 --> 00:25:29,376
He's not here,
there's no need to applaud.
363
00:25:31,259 --> 00:25:34,032
I mean, he'll watch this a day
and say, "Daddy, what is this?"
364
00:25:36,705 --> 00:25:37,290
Good, kids...
365
00:25:37,593 --> 00:25:40,522
You have children too British man?
No? Not yet.
366
00:25:41,484 --> 00:25:42,384
You have to...
367
00:25:42,408 --> 00:25:45,583
don't free your free part, and...
368
00:25:51,694 --> 00:25:52,729
Ta-Da!
369
00:26:00,490 --> 00:26:02,068
I like being kids.
My son is good.
370
00:26:02,514 --> 00:26:04,203
He...
He is 2 years old.
371
00:26:04,716 --> 00:26:06,562
He is... He is very beautiful.
372
00:26:07,048 --> 00:26:08,263
I said that, because...
373
00:26:10,195 --> 00:26:12,966
Let me be clear.
If my child is ugly...
374
00:26:14,172 --> 00:26:16,297
I will first say it
Understand what I mean?
375
00:26:17,221 --> 00:26:18,661
I will "Yes, I have a daughter."
376
00:26:21,064 --> 00:26:22,552
Cross fingers.
377
00:26:24,768 --> 00:26:25,667
But I'm honest.
378
00:26:26,104 --> 00:26:27,273
>
379
00:26:27,284 --> 00:26:28,535
I hate when you
say how beautiful
380
00:26:28,976 --> 00:26:30,272
your child is, and when people
see it he reacts...
381
00:26:30,935 --> 00:26:32,951
"What the hell is that! ? " Understand what I mean?
382
00:26:32,961 --> 00:26:34,854
"Look, look at my child."
"What are you doing?
383
00:26:39,234 --> 00:26:40,279
Too much encouragement
when making love?"
384
00:26:41,067 --> 00:26:43,372
Not all beautiful children.
385
00:26:44,312 --> 00:26:45,393
I saw a beautiful baby in a Mall but...
386
00:26:45,731 --> 00:26:48,908
His head was huge!
As if I could say...
387
00:26:49,327 --> 00:26:51,109
That he could not support his head.
388
00:26:55,652 --> 00:26:57,341
The baby has a big head.
389
00:26:57,679 --> 00:26:59,817
I hope he can grow it,
but...
390
00:27:01,866 --> 00:27:04,031
He is very, very beautiful, my child.
He...
391
00:27:04,676 --> 00:27:06,119
Everyone who sees it will say,
"Wow, he's a beautiful child."
392
00:27:06,456 --> 00:27:09,363
And I have to be honest,
my child looks like my ex-wife.
393
00:27:09,895 --> 00:27:12,801
My wife is a beautiful woman,
on the outside, and...
394
00:27:15,405 --> 00:27:16,305
She... You know.
395
00:27:17,446 --> 00:27:19,270
My ex-wife like
Ferrari cars without engines.
396
00:27:21,152 --> 00:27:23,808
"Gosh! What is Ferrari?"
"Yes. Does not work. Does not work.
397
00:27:25,829 --> 00:27:28,485
" Just parked there and
spend my money. That's how it is. "
398
00:27:39,660 --> 00:27:41,065
Apa ada wanita hamil di sini malam ini?
399
00:27:43,433 --> 00:27:45,123
Okay.
Sorry you have to sit down.
400
00:27:45,708 --> 00:27:47,287
Climb up the stairs and...
401
00:27:51,413 --> 00:27:55,149
Pregnant women have a difficult life. You won't
know until you see it yourself.
402
00:27:55,487 --> 00:27:58,304
I mean...
This is what happens when a woman gets pregnant...
403
00:27:58,394 --> 00:28:03,732
They are uncomfortable, the hormones rise, he
craves a lot of things, there is a human in his womb,
404
00:28:04,565 --> 00:28:07,198
You know...
The mood is messy.
405
00:28:07,783 --> 00:28:10,980
That's what you have to face.
But when dealing with other people,
406
00:28:11,417 --> 00:28:12,861
It's only an insult to injury.
407
00:28:13,622 --> 00:28:15,999
And especially in America, it's worse.
Because America doesn't care.
408
00:28:16,087 --> 00:28:17,455
Say whatever you want to say.
409
00:28:18,022 --> 00:28:19,246
At least, I'm not sure I'm...
410
00:28:25,945 --> 00:28:27,881
What do you say?
"No. Don't worry.
411
00:28:28,592 --> 00:28:31,205
"I brought a baby.
This is me.
412
00:28:31,452 --> 00:28:33,369
Let me give you a ride.
413
00:28:36,675 --> 00:28:37,602
They have to deal with other people.
414
00:28:37,998 --> 00:28:42,120
When my ex-wife was pregnant,
we were at the mall and this girl came...
415
00:28:42,624 --> 00:28:44,807
"Gosh, are you pregnant? "
416
00:28:48,094 --> 00:28:50,934
He points right in the stomach
as if we don't know where it is.
417
00:28:52,262 --> 00:28:58,384
" Gosh, are you pregnant? That's a miracle!
There is a miracle to grow in you ! "
418
00:29:01,670 --> 00:29:04,328
I hate when people say that
miracle, it's not a miracle.
419
00:29:05,765 --> 00:29:08,357
That is a blessing. Not a miracle.
Especially when my ex-wife is pregnant.
420
00:29:08,708 --> 00:29:11,434
She's a Latin, I'm Indian.
Know how difficult it is to make her pregnant?
421
00:29:12,663 --> 00:29:16,940
There are 2 humans at the most fertile in the world,
we never even have sex.
422
00:29:19,464 --> 00:29:21,379
I just sent the text one day,
"I'll go home."
423
00:29:25,486 --> 00:29:27,131
"I just checked it . "
424
00:29:32,883 --> 00:29:35,854
I hate when people say
"That's a miracle." That's not a miracle.
425
00:29:38,522 --> 00:29:41,470
It would be a miracle if
was in the wrong hole.
426
00:29:42,055 --> 00:29:44,533
"Gosh, are you pregnant?
That's a miracle."
427
00:29:45,623 --> 00:29:48,999
Of course a miracle!
I did it in his asshole!
428
00:29:52,525 --> 00:29:55,478
This is the most ambitious child
you will meet!
429
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,661
Can you imagine how much
a lot of shit he passed!?
430
00:30:07,931 --> 00:30:10,611
I like being a father. Having a child
a girl makes you a father.
431
00:30:10,949 --> 00:30:13,225
I know you're a Chinese,
maybe want a boy, but...
432
00:30:18,718 --> 00:30:22,859
I don't there, okay?
Just say what I know.
433
00:30:24,668 --> 00:30:26,471
And they arrived in an age when they
repeated everything...
434
00:30:26,808 --> 00:30:28,848
You know, people
reminds, "Russell,
435
00:30:28,859 --> 00:30:30,954
when you have children, you
have to be careful talking.
436
00:30:31,711 --> 00:30:33,402
Because they will repeat it. "
No.
437
00:30:33,965 --> 00:30:36,038
And I doubt I have a mouth recet.
438
00:30:36,870 --> 00:30:40,517
I forgot some other things I did,
when I'm alone in the car.
439
00:30:41,095 --> 00:30:42,536
When I drive to pick up my son
a few weeks ago,
440
00:30:43,310 --> 00:30:44,931
I'm setting NWA.
441
00:30:47,156 --> 00:30:50,040
And because it's very old, I didn't think about what they said
442
00:30:50,378 --> 00:30:53,532
I only thought about nostalgic memory.
You know, when the girls...
443
00:30:53,847 --> 00:30:56,844
"Oh. NWA. "And you started
thinking about the old days
444
00:30:57,416 --> 00:31:01,288
I didn't think about what they said
, and I put my child in the car,
445
00:31:02,041 --> 00:31:05,936
I didn't sing every lyric,
because I don't know exactly everything.
446
00:31:06,630 --> 00:31:08,814
Just sing the part when...
447
00:31:10,469 --> 00:31:14,118
And, after all there is a song section,
and me, when driving,
448
00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:17,408
"Yo, gotta foul bowl, double up Nigga !!!"
449
00:31:18,907 --> 00:31:20,620
And then, two seconds later
in the back seat I hear,
450
00:31:20,957 --> 00:31:21,882
"Nigga! !! "
451
00:31:23,458 --> 00:31:26,882
No, no, no!
452
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:32,351
And trying to get rid of his memory,
I said, Potato, boy! Tell potatoes!
453
00:31:33,585 --> 00:31:35,524
"Pot, pota... Nigga !!!"
454
00:31:36,748 --> 00:31:39,044
I can't return it to his mother!
455
00:31:43,052 --> 00:31:44,247
Is that your wife or your boyfriend? < /p>
456
00:31:44,831 --> 00:31:47,014
Parar./Pacar.
How long have you been together?
457
00:31:47,662 --> 00:31:52,010
Two years? / Two years?
Planning to marry her, or...
458
00:31:53,194 --> 00:31:55,175
You're just spending time,
British men?
459
00:31:58,449 --> 00:32:01,376
Why are you sweat now?
Nothing.
460
00:32:03,033 --> 00:32:04,165
He looks like women
well, you
461
00:32:04,176 --> 00:32:05,616
still seem to love
with each other.
462
00:32:06,138 --> 00:32:08,323
See them fiancee and
still holding hands.
463
00:32:09,156 --> 00:32:11,857
Look at that. That's sweet.
Maybe it's because of the shirt.
464
00:32:13,357 --> 00:32:15,446
But he doesn't hold the meat,
he holds his hand.
465
00:32:17,566 --> 00:32:19,955
He doesn't,
"Ah, Peter! Ah! "
466
00:32:20,662 --> 00:32:21,698
He is not.
467
00:32:23,103 --> 00:32:25,267
He holds...
His hands.
468
00:32:31,579 --> 00:32:33,743
Who has children?
You have children, old man?
469
00:32:34,368 --> 00:32:36,869
I mean, old with respect.
Not "old old!"
470
00:32:38,705 --> 00:32:41,767
You are of course older than me.
Except you age badly.
471
00:32:45,333 --> 00:32:46,773
What is your name, sir? / Al.
472
00:32:47,390 --> 00:32:49,575
Al.
473
00:32:51,030 --> 00:32:52,434
And who are you here?
Your family?
474
00:32:53,307 --> 00:32:56,144
p>
475
00:32:56,648 --> 00:32:59,305
What... Is your child here? /
Wife and son.
476
00:33:00,386 --> 00:33:03,312
Your wife and child.
And daughter or son-in-law?
477
00:33:06,103 --> 00:33:09,010
That's... That's your wife, son?
Hello?
478
00:33:10,586 --> 00:33:11,487
Bastard, hello!
479
00:33:12,155 --> 00:33:13,260
He saw me like this.
480
00:33:18,751 --> 00:33:21,658
This isn't YouTube. I'm not
buffering. I'm talking to you.
481
00:33:30,243 --> 00:33:31,435
What is your only puppet, Al?
482
00:33:32,534 --> 00:33:33,435
Yes? Do you love him?
483
00:33:36,217 --> 00:33:37,406
Good, isn't it?
How old are you, man?
484
00:33:37,677 --> 00:33:43,058
I'm... 26//26? Why are you...
Why are you so confused?
485
00:33:45,984 --> 00:33:47,583
I will regret it.
486
00:33:49,989 --> 00:33:52,647
As if, "Look at these sweat marks!"
487
00:33:55,934 --> 00:33:57,961
Good. It will be filmed forever.
488
00:33:59,494 --> 00:34:03,140
When you become a father, you will say,
"What am I thinking about?"
489
00:34:03,952 --> 00:34:06,609
How old are you, Yah? /
62 .
490
00:34:06,699 --> 00:34:10,345
62? You look young. You look old
for 42 years old, but...
491
00:34:11,673 --> 00:34:15,119
Right. You look handsome.
I didn't think of your age 62.
492
00:34:17,227 --> 00:34:19,614
Are you in the room when he was born? /
Yes.
493
00:34:19,872 --> 00:34:21,181
Yes?
That's...
494
00:34:21,967 --> 00:34:23,902
Let me tell you something.
If you have children,
495
00:34:24,384 --> 00:34:29,182
When your wife is giving birth,
try not to attend.
496
00:34:31,082 --> 00:34:34,706
Go to Viccinity, go to the hospital,
497
00:34:36,768 --> 00:34:40,148
For him think you're in the room,
record voice notes and
498
00:34:40,483 --> 00:34:43,410
"Push, honey. Push."
And press repeat and loop.
499
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,600
But when she gives birth ,
don't be in the room.
500
00:34:50,037 --> 00:34:51,953
Because women go crazy when giving birth.
501
00:34:52,290 --> 00:34:54,451
They say bad words to you.
502
00:34:54,788 --> 00:34:58,211
Because they are in pain, < br /> and they start thinking,
503
00:34:58,549 --> 00:35:00,845
"You're the main cause of this pain!"
504
00:35:03,412 --> 00:35:06,184
"I hate you and anything
is in me now!"
505
00:35:07,637 --> 00:35:09,257
They become evil, aren't they?
506
00:35:09,784 --> 00:35:13,431
Here's the problem. Because women
think that men don't think...
507
00:35:13,768 --> 00:35:15,255
That giving birth is sick.
508
00:35:15,939 --> 00:35:18,081
Of course it's sick.
Must be sick.
509
00:35:18,972 --> 00:35:21,157
I've been defecated and sick.
I can't imagine...
510
00:35:28,953 --> 00:35:31,902
How much pain when you pull out
humans from within you.
511
00:35:33,447 --> 00:35:34,890
But that's the point .
512
00:35:35,516 --> 00:35:40,131
I'm not trying to underestimate the pain
. It hurts so much, I understand.
513
00:35:41,491 --> 00:35:45,565
But... The positive side of giving birth
is that it's physical pain.
514
00:35:45,903 --> 00:35:48,267
Which means,
the pain will disappear.
515
00:35:49,253 --> 00:35:52,179
6-7 weeks later, your vagina
will be meeting again,
516
00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:56,659
You will forget it.
You will walk and your thumb hit,
517
00:35:56,996 --> 00:35:59,450
"Ouch! My thumb!" "How
with your vagina?"
518
00:35:59,787 --> 00:36:01,205
"Persetan, jempolku sakit!"
519
00:36:08,431 --> 00:36:10,864
Physical pain is the best pain
you can expect.
520
00:36:11,301 --> 00:36:13,576
I used to play boxing, and
my eyes turned blue and hurt
521
00:36:13,587 --> 00:36:15,735
head. But after two
days the pain disappeared.
522
00:36:16,051 --> 00:36:17,784
I did not compare
boxing with your box,
523
00:36:18,225 --> 00:36:19,125
I just said,
524
00:36:20,952 --> 00:36:22,936
That physical pain will disappear.
525
00:36:23,769 --> 00:36:25,909
Because when you give birth,
all you have to do is
526
00:36:26,467 --> 00:36:30,114
Lean and focus. Focus on
removing the human from you.
527
00:36:31,647 --> 00:36:33,088
You don't need to see
528
00:36:33,673 --> 00:36:36,531
What we see
in that damn room!
529
00:36:37,859 --> 00:36:39,227
We can't look away!
530
00:36:40,164 --> 00:36:43,360
6-7 weeks later your pussy
is fine, the rest of my life is a mess!
531
00:36:44,193 --> 00:36:47,258
It's been 26 years, you think Al has forgotten?
He doesn't forget that!
532
00:36:48,423 --> 00:36:50,539
I'm afraid of approaching
women to this day!
533
00:36:51,619 --> 00:36:54,772
It's been 2 years, I'm afraid.
I'm careful!
534
00:37:05,952 --> 00:37:06,878
This...
535
00:37:07,346 --> 00:37:09,520
Isn't that the worst thing
you see, Al ?
536
00:37:09,531 --> 00:37:11,669
It's like seeing a restaurant
your favorite is on fire!
537
00:37:22,317 --> 00:37:24,154
I'm there to build it again,
you know...
538
00:37:25,743 --> 00:37:27,905
But I won't eat there again.
Fuck it.
539
00:37:31,665 --> 00:37:33,244
Men are different.
540
00:37:35,031 --> 00:37:37,769
It's just not like restaurants in
generally, where there is a drive thru and...
541
00:37:38,746 --> 00:37:40,683
The Mexicans work behind the restaurant.
542
00:37:48,875 --> 00:37:50,812
Is he a good kid, Al? /
Of course.
543
00:37:52,140 --> 00:37:53,400
Is he a child who is smart?
544
00:37:54,706 --> 00:37:57,094
He is always like that?
Your father really loves you, because...
545
00:37:57,892 --> 00:37:59,548
My father always said,
"This kid is so stupid."
546
00:38:02,945 --> 00:38:05,294
Either your father really
loves you, or he
547
00:38:05,304 --> 00:38:07,564
doesn't want us to know the real
.
548
00:38:08,302 --> 00:38:10,687
Any father would say,
"This kid is so stupid."
549
00:38:12,259 --> 00:38:14,420
"Do you love him?"
"Of course I love him. He is my child."
550
00:38:15,361 --> 00:38:16,692
"But he's so stupid."
551
00:38:18,492 --> 00:38:20,182
"Really stupid."
552
00:38:24,685 --> 00:38:26,263
My son is very smart.
I...
553
00:38:26,601 --> 00:38:30,250
I fascinated with him. He is only 2 years old
and can speak Spanish and English.
554
00:38:31,101 --> 00:38:31,803
That really impressed me.
555
00:38:32,226 --> 00:38:33,917
I want him to learn Spanish first,
because first,
556
00:38:34,255 --> 00:38:37,992
He is Latin, and we
live in California. So,
557
00:38:38,495 --> 00:38:41,106
I want at least
to understand the language in California.
558
00:38:44,515 --> 00:38:46,292
Spanish is a language that
is very helpful in California.
559
00:38:46,711 --> 00:38:48,400
You go to the restaurant, to the car dealer,
560
00:38:48,737 --> 00:38:51,306
You want to know what to say,
be...
561
00:38:57,538 --> 00:39:00,420
So I told my family
my ex-wife, they were from Ecuador,
562
00:39:01,252 --> 00:39:04,407
"Can you help me? Please speak to
Spanish with her."
563
00:39:04,989 --> 00:39:06,429
They answer, "No problem."
564
00:39:07,014 --> 00:39:10,618
"Hey, do you want us to teach it
English too?"
565
00:39:14,676 --> 00:39:15,603
"Let me take care of it!"
566
00:39:16,197 --> 00:39:18,834
My son was born in America, but
sounds like an immigrant.
567
00:39:19,676 --> 00:39:21,592
"Daddy, are you going home?"
568
00:39:23,855 --> 00:39:26,039
"No dear. Jews don't
will come home. "
569
00:39:29,821 --> 00:39:31,265
" No, unless my agent calls me. "
570
00:39:37,179 --> 00:39:38,510
And when you have children,
believe in this one.
571
00:39:38,847 --> 00:39:41,754
Buy your child, your baby,
educational games.
572
00:39:42,092 --> 00:39:42,679
The best thing you can do.
573
00:39:43,016 --> 00:39:44,258
Karena mereka mulai belajar
di usia yang sangat muda.
574
00:39:44,573 --> 00:39:46,985
I bought my child this toy,
when you hit the color,
575
00:39:47,323 --> 00:39:48,259
will voice his voice.
576
00:39:48,381 --> 00:39:51,987
You press yellow,
the toy will sound, " Yellow! "
577
00:39:52,324 --> 00:39:54,284
" Green! "
578
00:39:54,676 --> 00:39:56,569
" Blue! "
579
00:39:57,380 --> 00:39:59,221
But the coolest thing in
is America, all games
580
00:39:59,232 --> 00:40:00,824
educative has the language
English and Spanish.
581
00:40:01,216 --> 00:40:02,764
I changed the toy to Spanish.
582
00:40:03,005 --> 00:40:05,686
Now I learn Spanish too.
583
00:40:08,014 --> 00:40:09,432
How smart me!
584
00:40:09,940 --> 00:40:10,594
Now, when you press it,
the sound becomes,
585
00:40:11,128 --> 00:40:13,358
"Amariaaa!"
586
00:40:14,191 --> 00:40:16,108
"Verteee!"
587
00:40:16,657 --> 00:40:18,367
"Azuuul!"
588
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:21,829
Now I can say yellow,
green, and blue in Spanish.
589
00:40:22,441 --> 00:40:23,666
But just like an opera singer.
590
00:40:26,546 --> 00:40:27,987
Let me tell you...
591
00:40:28,771 --> 00:40:30,068
A few weeks ago,
I am in LA,
592
00:40:30,236 --> 00:40:31,273
I want to buy yellow paint.
593
00:40:32,107 --> 00:40:34,517
I go to the building shop, and,
594
00:40:35,350 --> 00:40:38,547
I go in and there is a Mexican man working
inside...
595
00:40:43,546 --> 00:40:45,911
Inside the building shop.
596
00:40:46,249 --> 00:40:48,185
So, that's a progress.
597
00:40:49,265 --> 00:40:50,822
Thank you, Mr. Obama!
598
00:40:52,397 --> 00:40:52,826
And...
599
00:40:53,163 --> 00:40:54,514
I know he's Mexican,
first because it's in LA,
600
00:40:54,978 --> 00:40:57,659
Second, because when facing me
he has a giant head.
601
00:40:58,839 --> 00:40:59,649
Because there is no neck.
He looks like...
602
00:40:59,965 --> 00:41:02,126
A stone robot that if punched in the stomach
will...
603
00:41:04,701 --> 00:41:05,782
He turned and his name was Juan.
604
00:41:06,750 --> 00:41:08,913
Juan, and there was a small
flag of Mexico there.
605
00:41:09,448 --> 00:41:11,407
And when I saw how
they feel comfortable with the language,
606
00:41:11,919 --> 00:41:13,863
I always want to try
to greet him with that language.
607
00:41:14,374 --> 00:41:17,323
For two reasons,
first, they think I'm Mexican,
608
00:41:17,908 --> 00:41:19,962
And thus,
they won't try to rob me.
609
00:41:20,047 --> 00:41:21,487
And second, you know...
610
00:41:22,072 --> 00:41:23,671
That makes it comfortable.
611
00:41:24,255 --> 00:41:26,757
And when I say in
the language, I try the best
612
00:41:26,768 --> 00:41:29,368
so they believe I
use Mexican.
613
00:41:30,309 --> 00:41:31,786
But when they reply,
I screwed up.
614
00:41:32,398 --> 00:41:33,478
Because I ran out of vocabulary.
615
00:41:34,304 --> 00:41:35,780
So, I saw them,
and I said,
616
00:41:49,572 --> 00:41:51,242
And I answered,
"Well then. Listen."
617
00:41:53,061 --> 00:41:55,258
I hint that we must go back to English.
618
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:57,715
You are a union,
stay professional.
619
00:41:59,042 --> 00:42:00,505
So, I said,
"I need paint."
620
00:42:00,902 --> 00:42:01,802
"Si. Que collar?"
621
00:42:02,772 --> 00:42:04,440
I answered, "Yellow."
"Si. Mira."
622
00:42:04,972 --> 00:42:09,586
And he gives gray, white,
faded gray, faded white,
623
00:42:10,302 --> 00:42:11,405
I answer,
"Not. Not. Yellow."
624
00:42:11,495 --> 00:42:11,994
"Si. Mira. Yellow."
625
00:42:12,363 --> 00:42:14,560
"No, Juan. That's gray, white,
faded gray, faded white. "
626
00:42:15,087 --> 00:42:16,744
" No. You said Yellow. Mira.
Yellow, yellow. "
627
00:42:17,063 --> 00:42:19,272
" No. Not yellow-yellow.
It's gray and white, Juan. "
628
00:42:19,852 --> 00:42:21,207
" Yellow. Mira. Yellow.
Ice. Ice. "
629
00:42:21,739 --> 00:42:23,925
" I don't care what your favorite song is,
I just...
630
00:42:26,119 --> 00:42:26,638
"I need yellow paint."
631
00:42:27,008 --> 00:42:27,955
"Si. Mira. Yellow.
Ice. Ice. "
632
00:42:28,504 --> 00:42:31,182
I don't know that yellow is
ice in Spanish.
633
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:31,769
I don't know.
634
00:42:32,116 --> 00:42:33,412
The toy doesn't say that.
635
00:42:34,857 --> 00:42:36,142
So I'm in a
argument with that guy.
636
00:42:36,583 --> 00:42:39,240
"Bukan. Bukan es, Juan. Kuning."
"Si. Mira. Kuning."
637
00:42:39,681 --> 00:42:42,429
"Stop saying & apos; Mira, Jellow. & apos; This is
not yellow." "Mira, Jellow, Ice."
638
00:42:42,766 --> 00:42:45,876
"Stop saying Ice Yellow, I don't
want Yellow Ice. That's disgusting."
639
00:42:47,204 --> 00:42:48,644
"I just want yellow." < br /> "Mira, Jellow."
640
00:42:48,729 --> 00:42:51,574
"Stop saying & apos; mira, jellow & apos; yellow,
yellow!" "I stopped. I stopped."
641
00:42:51,803 --> 00:42:53,640
"Stop!"
"Then why do you keep talking!?"
642
00:42:53,977 --> 00:42:55,035
"Stop!"
643
00:43:00,660 --> 00:43:03,562
"Amariaaa!"
644
00:43:04,630 --> 00:43:06,322
Apparently he has the same
toy at home.
645
00:43:07,685 --> 00:43:11,243
"Oh, jumin!"
"Yalaaa!"
646
00:43:22,032 --> 00:43:24,126
I want hard,
I want to be hard on my child.
647
00:43:24,690 --> 00:43:28,587
He is only 2 years old, so I
can really be associated with him.
648
00:43:29,789 --> 00:43:33,619
I want to be like my parents,
but not as crazy as they are.
649
00:43:34,204 --> 00:43:36,119
Karena orangtua India
agak gila dengan anaknya.
650
00:43:37,673 --> 00:43:39,545
I like it,
and I want to be a white parent.
651
00:43:39,767 --> 00:43:41,857
I like to see people skin
white talking to their children.
652
00:43:42,022 --> 00:43:44,206
White parents < br /> have a way of talking
653
00:43:44,217 --> 00:43:46,748
with their children as if
they are human.
654
00:43:48,723 --> 00:43:50,390
Beautiful to be seen, right?
655
00:43:51,343 --> 00:43:53,385
But I think, I can be
White parents.
656
00:43:53,396 --> 00:43:55,372
Because white parents
underestimate many things.
657
00:43:56,336 --> 00:43:58,092
They give their children many choices.
658
00:43:58,983 --> 00:44:02,652
They are still children kids,
they shouldn't be given a choice.
659
00:44:03,485 --> 00:44:05,173
I eavesdrop,
I'm at the Mall one day,
660
00:44:05,510 --> 00:44:08,056
I see white women in the foodcourt
and he said with his 5-year-old daughter,
661
00:44:08,394 --> 00:44:11,567
"Honey, you want to eat
what night with what?"
662
00:44:13,370 --> 00:44:15,328
The boy replied, "I don't know."
663
00:44:17,117 --> 00:44:18,494
"Alright. If you already
know, tell Mother
664
00:44:18,505 --> 00:44:20,054
and let Mom make it
for you, okay?"
665
00:44:21,028 --> 00:44:22,022
"I love you."
666
00:44:24,078 --> 00:44:26,422
He asked 5-year-olds,
what they want to eat.
667
00:44:26,859 --> 00:44:28,278
No, "Do you want this? Or this?"
668
00:44:29,089 --> 00:44:31,929
He could have answered, "I want shoes.
I want a pair of shoes!"
669
00:44:35,213 --> 00:44:36,725
"Should I cook a pair of shoes?"
670
00:44:37,767 --> 00:44:39,684
I can't even digest,
like...
671
00:44:40,219 --> 00:44:42,092
I grew up in an immigrant's house,
so I can tell you something.
672
00:44:42,292 --> 00:44:43,979
At the immigrant's house, Mother did not do,
673
00:44:44,070 --> 00:44:46,663
No there is dinner for adults
and dinner for children.
674
00:44:47,036 --> 00:44:48,704
Mother doesn't care what
children like.
675
00:44:49,348 --> 00:44:52,119
Mother doesn't cook for children,
Mother cooks for Dad.
676
00:44:53,447 --> 00:44:56,237
Whatever your father likes,
is what you eat.
677
00:44:57,130 --> 00:44:58,593
That's how it works.
678
00:45:04,824 --> 00:45:07,232
Whatever your father likes,
that's what you eat .
679
00:45:08,013 --> 00:45:11,073
And it turns out my dad likes
Moltin hotplate of lava,
680
00:45:12,577 --> 00:45:15,416
I am 5 years old and
my fart is issuing fire.
681
00:45:20,067 --> 00:45:22,004
They call me Dragon's butt in school.
682
00:45:25,096 --> 00:45:27,400
But white parents explain
many things to their children.
683
00:45:27,843 --> 00:45:30,119
Right. They set aside time for that.
684
00:45:30,623 --> 00:45:30,828
That's good.
685
00:45:31,178 --> 00:45:32,475
Indian parents,
they are the worst.
686
00:45:32,742 --> 00:45:33,778
If they don't want you
do something, they will...
687
00:45:34,401 --> 00:45:37,350
Compose stories that are very crazy,
688
00:45:38,313 --> 00:45:39,826
As an excuse that you don't do that,
689
00:45:39,905 --> 00:45:42,565
And scare you so you don't /> thinking of doing it.
690
00:45:43,608 --> 00:45:45,229
And you don't think
your parents made it up,
691
00:45:45,373 --> 00:45:46,670
"They can't make it up."
692
00:45:47,838 --> 00:45:49,055
"That must happen."
693
00:45:50,384 --> 00:45:53,245
I gave an example, I grew up outside
tranal, a small town called Brampton,
694
00:45:55,236 --> 00:45:56,137
"B-Town, Represent!"
695
00:45:56,351 --> 00:45:57,434
I...
696
00:45:58,245 --> 00:46:01,668
And, I grew up in this complex,
drive way connected to this complex,
697
00:46:02,254 --> 00:46:06,147
And the edge of this drive way is
highway, where the car can pass.
698
00:46:06,616 --> 00:46:10,579
We certainly don't play on the street
highway, we play on the drive way.
699
00:46:10,896 --> 00:46:12,449
For obvious reasons.
700
00:46:13,034 --> 00:46:15,950
And this white woman said to
her child not to play on the highway.
701
00:46:16,082 --> 00:46:19,820
"Honey.... I don't want you
playing on the highway. " "Why?"
702
00:46:20,889 --> 00:46:22,645
"Because it's not safe."
"Then?"
703
00:46:23,204 --> 00:46:24,104
"You can get hurt."
704
00:46:24,238 --> 00:46:25,138
"I don't care. "
705
00:46:25,971 --> 00:46:28,673
" But I care. "
" Continue? "
706
00:46:29,313 --> 00:46:33,592
"If you get hurt, Mama will be sad.
Do you want Mama to be sad?"
707
00:46:35,163 --> 00:46:35,481
"No."
708
00:46:35,818 --> 00:46:38,791
"Then be a good child
and play on the drive way. " "Okay."
709
00:46:39,624 --> 00:46:41,673
"I love you."
710
00:46:43,941 --> 00:46:45,574
Very good, he explained it
to the child. He
711
00:46:45,585 --> 00:46:47,386
tells why the child
can't do it.
712
00:46:47,733 --> 00:46:50,123
He gives consequences,
what will happen.
713
00:46:50,708 --> 00:46:53,882
He gets information what
needed not to play on the highway.
714
00:46:54,219 --> 00:46:57,213
And you know?
He doesn't play on the highway.
715
00:46:59,010 --> 00:46:59,910
Not with my father.
716
00:47:00,237 --> 00:47:01,635
This is how my father told me.
717
00:47:02,465 --> 00:47:10,995
"Russell!"
718
00:47:11,581 --> 00:47:15,005
"Don't play on the highway,
you can get hit and your body splatter!"
719
00:47:17,816 --> 00:47:23,265
It's not that I might get hit by a car,
instead I WILL get hit by a car,
720
00:47:24,324 --> 00:47:26,507
Actually there is only
one car in my complex,
721
00:47:26,967 --> 00:47:31,536
And I will get hit by that,
and my body will scatter.
722
00:47:32,121 --> 00:47:34,171
How are your bodies scattered?
723
00:47:35,250 --> 00:47:39,394
When I was a kid, I thought I was made
from Lego because my body would scatter!
724
00:47:44,118 --> 00:47:46,260
They scared you away so
didn't do something.
725
00:47:47,340 --> 00:47:49,841
I don't have a tattoo, I think that
because my dad scared me.
726
00:47:50,152 --> 00:47:52,065
"If you have a tattoo, you will know."
727
00:47:54,397 --> 00:47:55,840
"You can get hepatitis."
728
00:47:58,333 --> 00:48:00,476
"Do you want to get hepatitis?"
"No."
729
00:48:00,763 --> 00:48:02,339
"Then don't make a tattoo."
730
00:48:05,378 --> 00:48:06,279
You have a tattoo, Al?
731
00:48:07,306 --> 00:48:08,207
No?
Do you know why?
732
00:48:08,342 --> 00:48:11,024
Because you are from a generation, I don't
say I am from your generation,
733
00:48:11,114 --> 00:48:13,140
But my generation follows
your generation a little,
734
00:48:13,672 --> 00:48:15,341
Your generation, am I lying?
735
00:48:19,427 --> 00:48:22,061
When I was a kid, the only
person who had a tattoo was...
736
00:48:22,399 --> 00:48:25,573
Old white man and he have
a messy anchor on his arm,
737
00:48:26,406 --> 00:48:27,127
It doesn't even look like an anchor,
738
00:48:27,216 --> 00:48:29,089
It's more like a check mark,
understand what I mean?
739
00:48:29,469 --> 00:48:31,294
As if he washed it with waves
and...
740
00:48:35,764 --> 00:48:38,468
When I was a kid,
tattoo meant something.
741
00:48:38,806 --> 00:48:41,002
Now, that doesn't mean anything.
Everyone has it.
742
00:48:41,262 --> 00:48:42,774
It doesn't mean anything to me now.
743
00:48:43,041 --> 00:48:46,215
"Why did you make a tattoo?" "That is to
express my individuality."
744
00:48:46,305 --> 00:48:47,206
"No."
745
00:48:48,076 --> 00:48:52,939
"You're an idiot. That's why. And you
decide to be people."
746
00:48:54,514 --> 00:48:56,744
When I'm a kid, I'm used to
seeing someone and being able to guess...
747
00:48:57,009 --> 00:48:59,688
What tattoo does he have,
where it is, and what kind of person he is.
748
00:49:00,070 --> 00:49:02,210
For example, when you see someone
with a tattoo on the neck, you say,
749
00:49:02,548 --> 00:49:04,438
"He's a crazy bastard."
750
00:49:05,495 --> 00:49:09,369
There's a crazy thing on his neck,
FTW, Fuck the World.
751
00:49:10,597 --> 00:49:12,146
And then there's a
water tattoo eyes on his cheeks.
752
00:49:12,299 --> 00:49:14,911
"What do those tears mean?"
"I killed the bastard."
753
00:49:15,991 --> 00:49:19,121
"And I can't shed tears."
754
00:49:24,786 --> 00:49:26,702
"Don't go away from me."
755
00:49:28,523 --> 00:49:30,708
Now, it's not important
where the tattoo is.
756
00:49:31,046 --> 00:49:33,232
You can find Emo's child
with tight pants, and...
757
00:49:33,570 --> 00:49:36,003
Tattoo "Life Is Difficult" on his neck.
758
00:49:38,051 --> 00:49:39,528
Real tears flow from his eyes,
759
00:49:40,769 --> 00:49:43,447
"Why are you crying?" > "It's sick!"
760
00:49:46,856 --> 00:49:49,089
Orang-orang menggila, mereka menato
seluruh lengannya sekarang.
761
00:49:49,266 --> 00:49:52,687
"I have an arm tattoo."
It's cool, now.
762
00:49:54,262 --> 00:49:55,630
In 10 years, you will regret it.
763
00:49:55,795 --> 00:49:59,373
You won't be able to lift
arm your shirt for the rest of your life.
764
00:50:04,596 --> 00:50:06,535
Sorry, Lebanese people!
765
00:50:13,384 --> 00:50:16,040
"Don't worry, man.
I look sexy."
766
00:50:23,019 --> 00:50:24,820
You have something...
I saw your tattoo, baby.
767
00:50:24,966 --> 00:50:26,994
You look sad when I
say about tattoo.
768
00:50:27,331 --> 00:50:28,774
What image on your arm? < br /> What picture?
769
00:50:32,241 --> 00:50:35,170
Picture of beams and written,
"High dream, hard work."
770
00:50:40,579 --> 00:50:43,238
When you say it fast,
do you realize how ridiculous it is?
771
00:50:47,515 --> 00:50:49,337
I just said maybe
because it is
772
00:50:49,347 --> 00:50:51,390
tattoo, you have to say it
tight.
773
00:50:52,081 --> 00:50:54,267
You have 5 tattoos?
What is first?
774
00:50:55,922 --> 00:50:56,894
Kau punya satu di punggung?
775
00:50:57,871 --> 00:50:59,267
What is that picture?
776
00:51:00,951 --> 00:51:01,135
What?
777
00:51:01,741 --> 00:51:02,688
Not beam?
778
00:51:06,912 --> 00:51:08,579
What is on your back or in the pelvis?
Where?
779
00:51:09,907 --> 00:51:12,071
p>
780
00:51:12,373 --> 00:51:13,309
You should make it on the flank,
and write,
781
00:51:17,231 --> 00:51:18,636
"I gotta put a base club."
782
00:51:19,416 --> 00:51:20,588
What is that... Trouble club? < br /> Bass club? What?
783
00:51:21,668 --> 00:51:24,031
Treble club? Are you a singer?
784
00:51:32,452 --> 00:51:33,959
Or you just... You look whistling.
I don't hear anything.
785
00:51:36,096 --> 00:51:37,965
What is your first tattoo?
786
00:51:38,776 --> 00:51:41,479
Treble club ? On your back?
Good.
787
00:51:43,030 --> 00:51:44,946
One day you will reflect and,
"Damn."
788
00:51:48,184 --> 00:51:49,625
My back is boring.
789
00:51:56,581 --> 00:51:58,608
This needs soundtrack.
790
00:51:58,946 --> 00:52:01,853
Women are the worst at making
tattoos, because they don't think.
791
00:52:05,817 --> 00:52:07,374
Women start with cute tattoos,
aren't they?
792
00:52:07,721 --> 00:52:09,905
"What are the toomoomu pictures?"
"There are dolphins on my heels."
793
00:52:11,761 --> 00:52:14,215
You have to think about the future.
When you're 80 years old,
794
00:52:14,877 --> 00:52:16,768
The dolphins will be
get a can of tuna.
795
00:52:19,577 --> 00:52:22,684
Treble club will look
like tears on your butt.
796
00:52:24,982 --> 00:52:27,281
Your notes will fall apart.
797
00:52:28,361 --> 00:52:30,485
"It used to be heading north,
now everything leads to...
798
00:52:30,839 --> 00:52:31,830
" south. "
799
00:52:36,333 --> 00:52:40,479
What is the writing?
" Dreaaam Beeerg. "
800
00:52:43,266 --> 00:52:47,185
You have to think about the future.
No one thinks about aging.
801
00:52:47,896 --> 00:52:49,120
When I was your age,
how old were you?
802
00:52:51,853 --> 00:52:54,781
19? What the hell?
Even your skin isn't long enough!
803
00:52:57,944 --> 00:53:01,277
At least have skin age 20 years
before you screw it up!
804
00:53:02,830 --> 00:53:05,459
Because, again, you're young and you never thought about the future
.
805
00:53:05,610 --> 00:53:07,944
I'm glad I never made a tattoo. Because
806
00:53:07,955 --> 00:53:10,250
at the age of 40 your skin
doesn't flex anymore.
807
00:53:11,296 --> 00:53:13,422
Your skin at 40
years is like finding
808
00:53:13,433 --> 00:53:15,664
your favorite panties < br /> from 5 years ago,
809
00:53:16,249 --> 00:53:18,188
"Gosh, I still have it!"
You pulled it and...
810
00:53:18,770 --> 00:53:20,055
It's not back to normal.
811
00:53:20,846 --> 00:53:23,001
And you said, "Wow,
my favorite panties
812
00:53:23,012 --> 00:53:24,988
are now my favorite rags.
Perfect."
813
00:53:28,429 --> 00:53:31,852
I saw something,
but covered with shirt sleeves,
814
00:53:32,626 --> 00:53:35,847
What is that picture? Besides being full of
tattoo sleeves, what happened?
815
00:53:37,523 --> 00:53:40,046
What is your first tattoo, Tony Tads?
816
00:53:41,473 --> 00:53:42,373
What?
Dragon?
817
00:53:42,914 --> 00:53:44,603
Because your breath smells, or...
818
00:53:47,503 --> 00:53:49,713
What is your reason for making a dragon tattoo?
Obviously you are not Chinese...
819
00:53:50,847 --> 00:53:53,459
You like Dragons?
You know it's just a myth right?
820
00:53:58,025 --> 00:53:59,692
" I like dragons.
I keep some. "
821
00:54:01,326 --> 00:54:02,902
And you say,
" I have this dragon...
822
00:54:03,487 --> 00:54:04,908
"on the other arm."
823
00:54:08,746 --> 00:54:11,051
Where did your parents come from?
Because obviously you're not Australian.
824
00:54:11,151 --> 00:54:12,435
What?
Syria?
825
00:54:13,352 --> 00:54:15,042
One person clapped!
826
00:54:19,946 --> 00:54:21,793
"No, no. Just now there were mosquitoes.
I have to... "
827
00:54:27,778 --> 00:54:30,708
You know your Syrian parents
don't like your arms.
828
00:54:31,014 --> 00:54:33,243
" Go home, son. We
will cut your arm. "
829
00:54:34,796 --> 00:54:36,868
" You look like a whore.
Cut your arm. "
830
00:54:44,442 --> 00:54:46,739
I see yours too, man.
You don't think, don't you?
831
00:54:47,085 --> 00:54:50,217
How old are you?
34?
832
00:54:50,816 --> 00:54:52,364
And how long have you been
you have that dragon?
833
00:54:52,454 --> 00:54:55,585
5 years ago?
When you were 30, didn't you?
834
00:54:56,396 --> 00:54:58,087
"This arm needs a dragon."
835
00:55:00,652 --> 00:55:02,836
"And I won't want to
see this arm again! "
836
00:55:06,943 --> 00:55:08,879
The Asian guy next to you has a tattoo,
what is the dragon image?
837
00:55:09,564 --> 00:55:11,026
Because it makes more sense to me.
838
00:55:13,346 --> 00:55:14,246
What is the picture dragon?
839
00:55:15,068 --> 00:55:16,756
Show me! Show me!
840
00:55:17,696 --> 00:55:19,296
He does have a dragon tattoo!
841
00:55:27,194 --> 00:55:31,473
You should draw a tank, you know? Something
describing your hometown.
842
00:55:33,271 --> 00:55:36,986
Like an artificial bomb bound
on your arm, understand?
843
00:55:39,458 --> 00:55:42,094
Even Asian men say,
"They are stupid Arab men are tattooed...
844
00:55:42,666 --> 00:55:43,566
"dragon."
845
00:55:45,482 --> 00:55:46,431
"Hey, dragon arm!"
846
00:55:51,941 --> 00:55:53,226
I just said,
think about future.
847
00:55:53,623 --> 00:55:55,807
Why do you have a dragon tattoo?
Do you have a dragon zodiac?
848
00:55:56,500 --> 00:56:00,734
Dragons are more suited to Asia.
So I'm not mad you have them.
849
00:56:03,525 --> 00:56:05,214
Women, women become cute with tattoos.
850
00:56:05,529 --> 00:56:06,902
They always show it.
851
00:56:06,993 --> 00:56:09,338
There is a woman on my show,
and she says, "I
852
00:56:09,349 --> 00:56:11,652
have here, here,
and on my back."
853
00:56:13,710 --> 00:56:15,906
I answer , "I have something on
my back too, but I..."
854
00:56:17,221 --> 00:56:18,147
"I shaved it."
855
00:56:20,923 --> 00:56:21,936
"What image on your back?"
He answer,
856
00:56:22,237 --> 00:56:25,143
"Bible Verse.
There are bible verses all over my back."
857
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:28,003
He has a bible verse written
all over his back.
858
00:56:28,834 --> 00:56:30,275
Who is it for?!
859
00:56:35,403 --> 00:56:37,095
The man who fucked her!
860
00:56:38,028 --> 00:56:39,490
I don't know about you, but
the first time I fucked this girl,
861
00:56:39,828 --> 00:56:42,578
Aku tidak ingin membaliknya
dan Alkitab itu memelototiku!
862
00:56:44,009 --> 00:56:46,351
"Yes, dear. Turn around.
What the hell!?"
863
00:57:00,151 --> 00:57:02,088
"Oh my, I'll come out! Give your face!"
864
00:57:03,166 --> 00:57:04,959
"Why are you going out
on my face? " "Because
865
00:57:04,970 --> 00:57:06,452
I don't want
to spur on Jesus!"
866
00:57:27,069 --> 00:57:29,639
Turn around, my mother sits there, and...
867
00:57:31,073 --> 00:57:32,658
I just did it .
I'm sorry, Mother.
868
00:57:33,351 --> 00:57:35,106
It's not my mother's fault that I learned these words.
869
00:57:36,907 --> 00:57:38,982
She bought me educational toys.
870
00:57:40,575 --> 00:57:43,954
I'm jealous of tattoos ,
that's my problem with tattoos.
871
00:57:44,706 --> 00:57:45,607
Because...
872
00:57:45,820 --> 00:57:47,545
First of all, you can't
tattoo the body at the age of 40
873
00:57:47,555 --> 00:57:49,392
th. You will like experiencing
a middle age crisis.
874
00:57:49,795 --> 00:57:51,463
You look like an idiot if you make tattoo at the age of 40.
875
00:57:51,801 --> 00:57:54,256
And the other reason is,
/> I'm a native Indian man.
876
00:57:55,152 --> 00:57:56,820
I don't have the privilege of
to make a tattoo.
877
00:57:57,576 --> 00:58:00,234
What will I draw?
Tigers appear between my chest hairs?
878
00:58:06,286 --> 00:58:09,280
The girls will react,
"Gosh, the grass looks real!"
879
00:58:11,407 --> 00:58:14,874
"Megan, Megan, come here, look!
It looks like 3D, HD...
880
00:58:15,933 --> 00:58:17,981
" Gosh! It feels like real grass! "
881
00:58:20,948 --> 00:58:22,209
How old are you, kid?
You look young.
882
00:58:23,067 --> 00:58:24,958
15 years? It's an awkward age, isn't it?
883
00:58:26,035 --> 00:58:27,872
And don't put on a tattoo,
you're only 15 years old.
884
00:58:28,065 --> 00:58:30,406
Don't do anything that girl
did at the age of 15...
885
00:58:30,566 --> 00:58:34,013
She was 19 year, so I don't
know when you installed the treble club.
886
00:58:35,856 --> 00:58:37,729
How old are you when installing
the treble club tattoo?
887
00:58:39,164 --> 00:58:40,294
"Del... eight year. "
888
00:58:42,156 --> 00:58:46,008
In one year, he had 5 tattoos.
There was no respect for his body.
889
00:58:47,087 --> 00:58:49,474
You look like a good skin
brown, don't...
890
00:58:51,298 --> 00:58:52,742
Don't confuse this, you know?
891
00:58:53,768 --> 00:58:57,325
You're 15 years old, you're in a wet dream,
Enjoy it.
892
00:59:03,314 --> 00:59:05,151
It's okay, man.
We've all experienced it.
893
00:59:06,343 --> 00:59:07,892
Who came with you?
What is your father?
894
00:59:08,315 --> 00:59:09,620
Your uncle?
Hey, Uncle. How old are you?
895
00:59:10,679 --> 00:59:12,593
34? You know what I mean, Uncle.
896
00:59:12,931 --> 00:59:14,465
15 years is a time...
897
00:59:15,844 --> 00:59:18,501
That's it. That's what you
did at the age of 15.
898
00:59:20,176 --> 00:59:22,609
Hey, what's your name, man?
Sorry?
899
00:59:23,442 --> 00:59:25,221
Shahan? Shahan.
900
00:59:26,810 --> 00:59:28,229
Shahan, Shaha, Shahan, Shaha.
901
00:59:29,310 --> 00:59:30,210
Shahan...
902
00:59:30,514 --> 00:59:32,224
When you masturbate...
903
00:59:37,084 --> 00:59:39,874
I want You know,
there's nothing wrong with you.
904
00:59:40,936 --> 00:59:43,368
Enjoy.
Remember, Uncle?
905
00:59:44,200 --> 00:59:45,100
15 years...
906
00:59:45,897 --> 00:59:50,673
Even in your 20s, as a man you
can masturbate 8 times a night.
907
00:59:51,086 --> 00:59:52,167
Those were extraordinary times.
908
00:59:53,710 --> 00:59:56,613
I mean... You don't do it
well, but you succeed.
909
01:00:00,620 --> 01:00:02,265
But, don't try this tonight.
Don't...
910
01:00:03,917 --> 01:00:05,834
Don't get carried away.
That's my message.
911
01:00:11,447 --> 01:00:14,195
It's never ending for men, Shahan.
You'll always be...
912
01:00:14,971 --> 01:00:16,323
As long as you have hands...
913
01:00:18,101 --> 01:00:18,532
For the rest...
914
01:00:18,923 --> 01:00:20,591
Look at Al!
62 years.
915
01:00:30,494 --> 01:00:33,468
You still do it until now, Al.
Don't lie to me.
916
01:00:34,052 --> 01:00:37,633
Not as often as I used to, I mean, maybe...
maybe once a month.
917
01:00:38,205 --> 01:00:40,164
But whatever it is, you have to
empty your pipe.
918
01:00:41,974 --> 01:00:42,983
You know when does it slow down?
919
01:00:43,006 --> 01:00:44,352
Uncle, your age 34, you
don't know this yet. But
920
01:00:44,363 --> 01:00:46,055
after 40 years, when
starts slowing down.
921
01:00:46,288 --> 01:00:48,450
That's when you have to make a decision in life.
922
01:00:49,549 --> 01:00:52,587
923
01:00:53,101 --> 01:00:54,971
You'll still do it,
but not with the same frequency.
924
01:00:56,051 --> 01:00:57,989
It's not fun anymore as before.
925
01:01:01,746 --> 01:01:02,960
Like, like tonight.
I'll give you an example.
926
01:01:03,307 --> 01:01:04,928
If I can't pair tonight
after this event,
927
01:01:05,422 --> 01:01:07,831
I don't care.
I'll go back to my hotel,
928
01:01:08,359 --> 01:01:11,918
Open my laptop, set video porn,
929
01:01:17,612 --> 01:01:18,512
Masturbate and go to sleep
like a real man.
930
01:01:19,301 --> 01:01:21,938
The problem is...
931
01:01:23,018 --> 01:01:25,467
After the age of 40,
your wrist exhausted.
932
01:01:25,616 --> 01:01:28,299
You know how many times I spend the night
put a laptop on my chest,
933
01:01:31,684 --> 01:01:34,542
And I fall asleep holding my cock?
934
01:01:37,417 --> 01:01:42,413
And the only reason I woke up
because the heat of the laptop burned my chest.
935
01:01:43,393 --> 01:01:44,292
"I'm fiery!"
936
01:01:54,097 --> 01:01:54,998
I grew up...
937
01:01:55,380 --> 01:01:56,822
Like immigrants.
938
01:01:57,159 --> 01:02:00,313
Even though I'm not an immigrant in Canada,
feels like an immigrant.
939
01:02:00,953 --> 01:02:02,778
And then I moved to the US
7 years ago,
940
01:02:02,789 --> 01:02:04,465
and eventually become
real immigrants.
941
01:02:05,938 --> 01:02:07,514
Very awkward.
942
01:02:08,099 --> 01:02:11,005
You know,
being a Canadian living in America,
943
01:02:12,329 --> 01:02:13,299
3 Canadians?
Good.
944
01:02:14,627 --> 01:02:17,037
One Canadian flag?
Good.
945
01:02:17,374 --> 01:02:19,967
Raise it high, we will < > highlight it. Do you want it to appear on DVD?
946
01:02:23,813 --> 01:02:24,738
That's how it seems. That's our flag.
947
01:02:25,295 --> 01:02:26,376
A leaf.
948
01:02:27,683 --> 01:02:29,101
Symbols for strength and...
949
01:02:29,998 --> 01:02:31,080
Miscarriage.
950
01:02:37,021 --> 01:02:40,648
More immigrant experiences
/> than you think.
951
01:02:41,174 --> 01:02:43,948
You have to give your parents confirmation
that they are from another city,
952
01:02:44,059 --> 01:02:45,659
To hear anything
they want,
953
01:02:46,009 --> 01:02:47,883
Because they really < br /> take the opportunity, you know?
954
01:02:48,035 --> 01:02:52,427
My parents left India in
1965, and they moved to Terrano,
955
01:02:52,766 --> 01:02:55,691
Where I was born and
raised by wolf.
956
01:02:57,514 --> 01:03:02,626
And I don't know how thick the accent is
My father, when he moved to Canada,
957
01:03:02,716 --> 01:03:04,048
But the accent never melts...
958
01:03:05,442 --> 01:03:07,378
In 40 years.
That's not fair.
959
01:03:07,882 --> 01:03:10,721
My father has a disability to say
anything in an accent.
960
01:03:11,555 --> 01:03:12,972
Whatever.
It doesn't matter what.
961
01:03:13,217 --> 01:03:14,911
And not words that
immigrants often use,
962
01:03:15,626 --> 01:03:16,708
My father has a chaotic voice.
963
01:03:17,881 --> 01:03:19,190
One day, my father's car
broke down and he said,
964
01:03:19,527 --> 01:03:21,465
"Son, the car broke down."
965
01:03:22,631 --> 01:03:22,992
I said,
"What happened?"
966
01:03:23,329 --> 01:03:24,387
"I don't know."
967
01:03:24,973 --> 01:03:26,638
"Well, what's wrong with the car?"
968
01:03:27,399 --> 01:03:30,463
"If I knew, I would have been a mechanic."
969
01:03:36,451 --> 01:03:37,578
"What is a mechanic?"
970
01:03:38,906 --> 01:03:41,584
"Bastard who repaired the car! "
971
01:03:43,633 --> 01:03:44,852
" Oh, I think you mean mechanics. "
972
01:03:45,190 --> 01:03:48,095
" Don't be stupid.
There is no letter K in it. "
973
01:03:53,912 --> 01:03:55,328
That's how you can find out
Indians or not,
974
01:03:55,338 --> 01:03:57,356
based on the number of fingers
used to point to.
975
01:03:57,625 --> 01:03:59,114
I was born in North America,
one finger.
976
01:03:59,529 --> 01:04:00,724
You, you, you.
977
01:04:01,161 --> 01:04:02,738
Indians, 4 fingers to
point to one thing.
978
01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:08,472
"Look. Look at this bastard.
Look. Look at everything. Look, look! "
979
01:04:10,292 --> 01:04:12,656
In India, this is considered reasonable.
980
01:04:13,475 --> 01:04:18,609
Because there are so many people there,
you can't point to one thing.
981
01:04:19,275 --> 01:04:21,706
"Where is he?"
"There, there!"
982
01:04:22,105 --> 01:04:23,300
"I don't know, you
pointed at 4 things now."
983
01:04:23,637 --> 01:04:25,327
"There, there!"
"Stop saying there!"
984
01:04:25,785 --> 01:04:28,062
"Where? There!"
Stop saying there! "
985
01:04:28,410 --> 01:04:30,099
" Where?
In the crowd.
986
01:04:31,675 --> 01:04:35,324
"Particles of a group of people . "
987
01:04:37,899 --> 01:04:40,494
They say that
makes sense in India,
988
01:04:40,505 --> 01:04:42,786
but it doesn't make sense
if it's outside India.
989
01:04:43,596 --> 01:04:46,727
For example , last year I went to India
to visit my uncle in Bombay
990
01:04:47,064 --> 01:04:48,257
Go to his apartment, and...
991
01:04:49,090 --> 01:04:51,162
"Hey, Uncle. This is a new
place, You just moved? "
992
01:04:51,643 --> 01:04:53,557
He answered,
" Yes, boy. We shifted. "
993
01:04:55,852 --> 01:04:57,315
He said to shift.
994
01:04:58,148 --> 01:04:59,768
They didn't say move
in Indian.
995
01:04:59,808 --> 01:05:01,682
"Did you move?"
"No, no, son. We shifted."
996
01:05:02,345 --> 01:05:04,755
"A few years ago,
we shifted to this place."
997
01:05:05,956 --> 01:05:08,162
They shifted. You can't use it outside India.
998
01:05:08,670 --> 01:05:10,471
Imagine you moved, and you said,
"What are you doing?"
999
01:05:10,750 --> 01:05:11,676
"Shift."
1000
01:05:13,104 --> 01:05:15,426
Stop shifting, asshole.
What's wrong with you?
1001
01:05:16,507 --> 01:05:16,980
Shift.
1002
01:05:17,426 --> 01:05:19,812
But that makes sense in India,
shifts, not ?
1003
01:05:20,150 --> 01:05:24,045
Because of the many people there,
you can't move at all!
1004
01:05:26,356 --> 01:05:28,044
You just shifted.
1005
01:05:35,675 --> 01:05:39,100
"Hey, did you just move here ? "
" I just shifted here, yes. "
1006
01:05:39,859 --> 01:05:42,042
" Just shifted. "
1007
01:05:45,824 --> 01:05:48,998
So I told my father,
what did you do when the car broke down?
1008
01:05:49,353 --> 01:05:50,548
"I turned."
1009
01:05:52,052 --> 01:05:53,357
"You turned?"
1010
01:05:55,960 --> 01:05:57,829
Even on the phone,
I know he did...
1011
01:06:00,476 --> 01:06:03,357
All your life, you will know
the pose of the caller.
1012
01:06:06,644 --> 01:06:09,144
So, "What do you mean you turn?
You created the turn? "
1013
01:06:09,234 --> 01:06:11,914
" I didn't create it.
That turn already exists, so I turn. "
1014
01:06:13,324 --> 01:06:14,907
" So the turn already
When you were there? "
1015
01:06:14,918 --> 01:06:16,502
" Of course, how can I make it? "
1016
01:06:17,805 --> 01:06:20,486
" Who made it? "
" I don't know, but I turn. "
1017
01:06:21,572 --> 01:06:23,226
" So, is it made
or do you make it? "
1018
01:06:23,237 --> 01:06:24,533
" Don't make me
confused, bastard! "
1019
01:06:25,625 --> 01:06:29,407
If there is an angry Indian father, he says,
" You bastard! "
1020
01:06:30,554 --> 01:06:33,752
My father called me a bastard,
that doesn't make sense.
1021
01:06:34,729 --> 01:06:37,545
"You're an illegitimate child!"
"Dad, there's no way I'm an illegitimate child,
1022
01:06:37,882 --> 01:06:39,574
" You're my father. "
1023
01:06:41,144 --> 01:06:45,601
" Really? Really?
Are you there when that happens? "
1024
01:06:50,030 --> 01:06:52,755
He will be angry and call me a prostitute boy
in front of my mother.
1025
01:06:53,763 --> 01:06:55,132
" Bitch! "< br /> My mother said, "Eric!"
1026
01:06:55,556 --> 01:06:57,000
"Not you, honey, of course."
1027
01:06:58,328 --> 01:07:02,157
"Sange's whore is out there,
he is not your child or my son ,
1028
01:07:02,494 --> 01:07:05,895
"He's an illegitimate child of the whore's son!
He's an illegitimate child of a prostitute!"
1029
01:07:09,978 --> 01:07:10,968
I know how to make it cool.
1030
01:07:11,248 --> 01:07:13,907
"So "Well, are you creating a turn?
or the turn is already there?"
1031
01:07:13,997 --> 01:07:16,157
"Itu dibuat orang, aku tidak
menciptakannya. Aku membuatnya."
1032
01:07:16,318 --> 01:07:17,515
"You can't make
something that was created."
1033
01:07:17,973 --> 01:07:21,058
"I didn't make it.
I MAKE IT."
1034
01:07:22,365 --> 01:07:25,719
"By extending the word & apos ; make & apos;
doesn't mean you make it, yeah. "
1035
01:07:27,359 --> 01:07:30,061
You want to make Indians angry,
says he did something illegal.
1036
01:07:31,257 --> 01:07:33,439
" Well, is this legal? "
" Of course it's legal!
1037
01:07:34,489 --> 01:07:35,908
"It's legal!"
1038
01:07:37,269 --> 01:07:40,062
"I'm at the intersection,
then turn on the penny."
1039
01:07:41,567 --> 01:07:44,158
"Do you work?"
And this is how my father messed up his voice.
1040
01:07:44,495 --> 01:07:50,058
"Works well.
Tatatatatatatatatata."
1041
01:07:52,709 --> 01:07:54,006
I said,
"What noise is that?"
1042
01:07:54,726 --> 01:07:57,652
"My sen voice.
Record it."
1043
01:07:58,216 --> 01:07:59,862
"Why do your sen have accents?"
1044
01:08:01,932 --> 01:08:03,958
"You know it's not an Indian penny, right?"
1045
01:08:06,152 --> 01:08:07,052
"Isn't it supposed to be..."
1046
01:08:08,615 --> 01:08:12,038
"That's what I mean. What did you hear?
Tatatata."
1047
01:08:13,593 --> 01:08:14,313
"Okay. Then what happened?"
1048
01:08:14,750 --> 01:08:16,955
"Then I decided to turn."
1049
01:08:17,956 --> 01:08:19,892
"Suddenly, the engine..."
1050
01:08:24,750 --> 01:08:26,146
"How does your machine sound?"
1051
01:08:30,123 --> 01:08:31,970
"Your machine sounds..."
1052
01:08:36,053 --> 01:08:38,778
"Let me straighten it.
Your sen is silent...
1053
01:08:40,317 --> 01:08:42,096
" Then your machine sounds... "
1054
01:08:44,030 --> 01:08:44,930
" Right. "
1055
01:08:45,493 --> 01:08:47,498
" Well, your car is an illegal immigrant. "
1056
01:08:48,542 --> 01:08:50,952
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