1
00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:03,013
Now, the Book of
Revelation tells us

2
00:01:03,015 --> 00:01:05,582
the Rapture is the literal,
physical

3
00:01:05,584 --> 00:01:08,051
bodily coming of
Christ in the clouds

4
00:01:08,052 --> 00:01:11,186
to snatch out of this
world all believers,

5
00:01:11,188 --> 00:01:15,791
the dead and living
who were in Christ our Lord, amen.

6
00:01:15,793 --> 00:01:17,993
Those sinners
who remain on Earth

7
00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:22,196
shall face torments and suffer
beyond their wildest nightmares.

8
00:01:22,198 --> 00:01:25,233
Who are these people?
Well, we all know them.

9
00:01:25,235 --> 00:01:28,603
Musicians,
gays, gay musicians,

10
00:01:28,604 --> 00:01:32,272
the entire 1997
Denver Broncos, and all of Hollywood.

11
00:02:02,133 --> 00:02:03,801
LINDSEY:  Um,

12
00:02:03,803 --> 00:02:06,103
it was incredibly freaky,
to me, anyway.

13
00:02:07,305 --> 00:02:10,107
I always say that Ben
sort of saved the world.

14
00:02:10,109 --> 00:02:13,978
He's that amazing.
Well, he says that I saved the world,

15
00:02:13,979 --> 00:02:16,245
but he's probably
just being nice. It doesn't matter.

16
00:02:17,214 --> 00:02:21,117
That's me,
looking fairly shocked.

17
00:02:21,119 --> 00:02:24,621
But honestly,
not that shocked, because the truth is,

18
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:27,122
a lot of crazy stuff
had already gone down.

19
00:02:28,791 --> 00:02:29,992
Wow.

20
00:02:31,794 --> 00:02:34,730
Maybe I should
back up a little.

21
00:02:34,731 --> 00:02:38,199
See, it all started
with the Rapture.

22
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:41,068
(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)

23
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,271
It was league night.

24
00:02:44,272 --> 00:02:46,640
I had just gotten a strike.

25
00:02:47,908 --> 00:02:50,176
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God!

26
00:02:50,178 --> 00:02:52,245
And Ben was even
more excited than me.

27
00:02:52,247 --> 00:02:55,248
He usually is.
Which is why I love him.

28
00:02:58,118 --> 00:02:59,318
Anyway, um...

29
00:03:00,387 --> 00:03:04,089
Then, all of a sudden,

30
00:03:04,091 --> 00:03:06,091
half the world was

31
00:03:06,092 --> 00:03:08,660
totally gone.

32
00:03:11,196 --> 00:03:14,899
(BLUES SONG PLAYING)

33
00:04:46,282 --> 00:04:49,251
LINDSEY:  The people who went
to church and prayed

34
00:04:49,253 --> 00:04:51,487
and missed out on

35
00:04:51,489 --> 00:04:53,455
a lot of fun stuff

36
00:04:53,456 --> 00:04:55,223
got sucked
straight up to Heaven.

37
00:04:55,225 --> 00:04:56,891
And the rest of us,

38
00:04:56,893 --> 00:05:00,762
well, we were screwed.

39
00:05:00,764 --> 00:05:04,532
We weren't believers,
so I guess that's why we weren't taken.

40
00:05:04,533 --> 00:05:06,032
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

41
00:05:06,034 --> 00:05:08,001
(SIREN WAILING)

42
00:05:13,073 --> 00:05:15,908
Both my mom and Ben's mom
went to church religiously.

43
00:05:15,910 --> 00:05:18,310
Well, that's the only way
you can go to church.

44
00:05:18,312 --> 00:05:20,379
The point is,
they both got raptured.

45
00:05:21,314 --> 00:05:23,883
(WHOOSHES)

46
00:05:23,884 --> 00:05:27,185
But, in the only recorded case
of such a thing happening,

47
00:05:27,187 --> 00:05:31,389
my mother was sent
back the very next day.

48
00:05:31,391 --> 00:05:33,158
Mom?

49
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,160
Oh.

50
00:05:35,161 --> 00:05:36,960
Laura.

51
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,262
(STUTTERS)

52
00:05:39,264 --> 00:05:42,099
What happened?
I don't know.

53
00:05:42,101 --> 00:05:43,801
I was in Heaven.

54
00:05:43,803 --> 00:05:45,169
CLARK: Wait.
You got sent back?

55
00:05:45,171 --> 00:05:47,404
So God, like,
returned you?

56
00:05:47,405 --> 00:05:48,805
(SOBS) Well.

57
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,439
I guess so. Yes.

58
00:05:50,441 --> 00:05:51,808
Aw!

59
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,409
I was just in line.
Uh-huh.

60
00:05:53,411 --> 00:05:55,578
And they were
giving out massages.

61
00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:57,346
And a guy
butt in front of me.

62
00:05:57,347 --> 00:05:59,147
He probably
didn't butt.

63
00:05:59,149 --> 00:06:01,283
He barged right
in front of me,

64
00:06:01,285 --> 00:06:03,385
and he said,
"I need something in the shoulder."

65
00:06:03,387 --> 00:06:04,519
Were you in the
right line?

66
00:06:04,521 --> 00:06:06,221
I was in the right line.

67
00:06:06,223 --> 00:06:08,390
Honey, you are almost
never in the right line.

68
00:06:08,391 --> 00:06:11,492
Listen to me.
It was unprofessional. It was poorly organized.

69
00:06:11,494 --> 00:06:13,227
You have this backwards.

70
00:06:13,229 --> 00:06:17,264
You go up there to be judged.
You don't do the judging.

71
00:06:17,266 --> 00:06:18,566
(WAILING)

72
00:06:21,235 --> 00:06:23,536
Mom. Aw!

73
00:06:23,538 --> 00:06:25,371
(SOBBING)
I don't want to be here.

74
00:06:25,373 --> 00:06:28,341
I'd hug you,
but you smell like shit.

75
00:06:28,342 --> 00:06:31,210
Did anybody vacuum
while I was gone?

76
00:06:31,212 --> 00:06:33,245
We all vacuumed.
(CONTINUES WAILING)

77
00:06:33,247 --> 00:06:36,481
We all vacuumed
all the time.

78
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,317
Lots of vacuuming.

79
00:06:40,085 --> 00:06:42,887
LINDSEY:  And then
the torments started.

80
00:06:44,389 --> 00:06:46,390
First came these
little locusty things.

81
00:06:46,392 --> 00:06:48,359
(CRUNCHING)
Ow!

82
00:06:48,361 --> 00:06:50,061
(GRUNTS)
I hate those little things.

83
00:06:50,062 --> 00:06:52,262
Suffer! Suffer!

84
00:06:52,264 --> 00:06:54,631
I am suffering,
you little buttwipe!

85
00:06:54,633 --> 00:06:57,267
Suffer!

86
00:06:57,269 --> 00:06:59,569
You're not going anywhere,
you little fucker!

87
00:06:59,571 --> 00:07:03,139
If you're wondering,
they were impervious to most bug sprays.

88
00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:04,273
(INSECT YELLING) Suffer!

89
00:07:04,275 --> 00:07:05,941
(SCREAMING)

90
00:07:05,943 --> 00:07:08,410
I got an idea!
How about you suffer?

91
00:07:08,412 --> 00:07:10,312
Suffer!

92
00:07:10,314 --> 00:07:11,447
Suffer!

93
00:07:13,148 --> 00:07:15,316
MR. LEWIS: (YELLING)
This apocalypse is killing me!

94
00:07:15,318 --> 00:07:17,452
MRS. LEWIS: (CRYING)
Why? Why?

95
00:07:17,454 --> 00:07:21,422
I don't know why,
you Jesus freak! Why don't you ask God?

96
00:07:21,424 --> 00:07:24,492
Oh, yeah, I forgot!
He doesn't like you!

97
00:07:25,894 --> 00:07:27,227
That's my parents,
you guys.

98
00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:29,363
I can't stand it
any longer!

99
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:30,998
Good times.

100
00:07:34,368 --> 00:07:40,373
Then God,
in his infinite wisdom, did this really gross thing.

101
00:07:40,375 --> 00:07:44,143
It just seemed so unsanitary,
you know?

102
00:07:44,144 --> 00:07:46,544
What is that?
Is that...

103
00:07:46,546 --> 00:07:49,080
I think it's raining blood.

104
00:07:49,082 --> 00:07:51,316
Blood? It's raining blood.

105
00:07:51,318 --> 00:07:53,218
That's not disgusting.

106
00:07:53,220 --> 00:07:56,121
What the fuck is
the point of that? There's no point!

107
00:07:56,122 --> 00:07:57,221
I know.

108
00:07:57,223 --> 00:07:58,656
Wipers don't work for shit.

109
00:07:58,658 --> 00:08:00,224
Try the sprayer thing.

110
00:08:00,226 --> 00:08:01,558
Sprayer thing.

111
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,662
Well, that's great.
Now it's all smeared.

112
00:08:07,164 --> 00:08:09,465
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

113
00:08:09,467 --> 00:08:13,269
The wraiths showed up
about a year ago.

114
00:08:13,271 --> 00:08:19,375
They went all around the world
wrecking everything, and killing people.

115
00:08:19,376 --> 00:08:21,677
Holy cow!

116
00:08:21,679 --> 00:08:23,178
Monsters, man.

117
00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:26,448
Real monsters.

118
00:08:26,449 --> 00:08:28,382
Without the costumes.

119
00:08:28,384 --> 00:08:31,485
Because the costumes
are real, you know.

120
00:08:31,487 --> 00:08:35,423
LINDSEY:  So, a lot of people
died during the apocalypse.

121
00:08:35,425 --> 00:08:39,627
The only one I know who
came back was my neighbor!

122
00:08:39,628 --> 00:08:41,528
Mr. Murphy.

123
00:08:41,530 --> 00:08:44,364
(GRUMBLING)

124
00:08:44,366 --> 00:08:47,534
We all thought
it was weird that instead of chasing us around,

125
00:08:47,535 --> 00:08:50,336
trying to eat our
delicious brains,

126
00:08:50,338 --> 00:08:53,105
all he did was mow his lawn.

127
00:08:53,107 --> 00:08:55,641
Maybe it was on his
mind when he died. Uh, I don't know.

128
00:08:58,477 --> 00:09:00,445
(GRUMBLING)

129
00:09:00,447 --> 00:09:03,481
Finally this neighbor
got so sick of it that he stole the mower.

130
00:09:05,584 --> 00:09:08,553
But then Mr. Murphy
just walked around

131
00:09:08,555 --> 00:09:10,254
without the mower.

132
00:09:10,255 --> 00:09:11,688
This is sad.

133
00:09:13,424 --> 00:09:15,459
Hello, Mr. Murphy.

134
00:09:15,461 --> 00:09:17,227
(GRUMBLES)

135
00:09:17,229 --> 00:09:19,529
Your lawn looks
really nice.

136
00:09:22,232 --> 00:09:25,167
Have a good day,
Mr. Murphy.

137
00:09:25,169 --> 00:09:27,103
And just as
the Bible predicted,

138
00:09:27,105 --> 00:09:29,105
the Antichrist
finally showed up.

139
00:09:29,107 --> 00:09:31,774
Nobody thought his name
would be Earl Gundy, though.

140
00:09:31,775 --> 00:09:33,675
Certainly not that
he'd be from Idaho.

141
00:09:33,677 --> 00:09:35,110
I might take you
to rock bottom,

142
00:09:35,112 --> 00:09:36,478
but I'm going to
bring you back up...

143
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:37,779
And I guess not
really a surprise

144
00:09:37,781 --> 00:09:39,581
that the Antichrist
was a politician first.

145
00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:42,217
...because I'm Earl Gundy,
and we can make it.

146
00:09:42,218 --> 00:09:44,785
And then he gets
invited to the White House.

147
00:09:44,787 --> 00:09:47,354
He poisons
everyone's sandwiches,

148
00:09:47,356 --> 00:09:48,756
and then just
starts using our missiles

149
00:09:48,758 --> 00:09:53,027
NEWSCASTER:  ...evacuation of
Chicago has not been fast enough.

150
00:09:53,028 --> 00:09:57,397
LINDSEY:  He blew up
a bunch of cities. Chicago, Tokyo, London.

151
00:09:57,399 --> 00:09:59,198
You know, just to make
everybody scared of him.

152
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,366
NEWSCASTER:  We go now
to Orlando. (EXPLOSION)

153
00:10:00,368 --> 00:10:01,734
MR. LEWIS: Oh, come on!

154
00:10:01,736 --> 00:10:07,106
Not Orlando!
Oh, man! Come on!

155
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:11,043
Think of all
those ride operators. They're just kids!

156
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,445
LINDSEY:  Oh, and he makes
everyone call him "The Beast,"

157
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,147
because he thinks it
makes him sound cool.

158
00:10:17,382 --> 00:10:19,050
Everyone thought
he was going to live

159
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,484
in some palace in
the Middle-East,

160
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:24,221
but he settled right here.
In my home town.

161
00:10:24,222 --> 00:10:27,290
Not biblically referenced,
Seattle.

162
00:10:30,294 --> 00:10:32,328
Overall, I'd say
the Book of Revelation's

163
00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:34,798
got most of what has happened
pretty much right.

164
00:10:34,799 --> 00:10:37,299
There were some
things that happened that weren't predicted.

165
00:10:37,301 --> 00:10:40,202
Like the foul-mouthed crows,
for instance.

166
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:41,270
Strawberry jam.

167
00:10:41,272 --> 00:10:42,738
Oh, nice.
That's right.

168
00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:45,140
CROW: Hey, you!

169
00:10:45,142 --> 00:10:47,176
Yeah, you.

170
00:10:47,177 --> 00:10:48,476
Fuck you! Caw!

171
00:10:48,478 --> 00:10:51,379
Ben, baby,
just ignore that.

172
00:10:51,381 --> 00:10:53,247
Man, I hate those guys.

173
00:10:53,249 --> 00:10:54,615
I mean, why do we
just let them insult us like this?

174
00:10:54,617 --> 00:10:55,516
I know.

175
00:10:55,518 --> 00:10:57,852
Eat shit, fucker.

176
00:10:57,853 --> 00:11:00,220
Hold on.
No. Mmm-mmm. Not worth it.

177
00:11:00,222 --> 00:11:01,455
Hey! Blow me!

178
00:11:01,457 --> 00:11:03,523
And don't forget
my balls. Caw!

179
00:11:03,525 --> 00:11:05,692
Yeah, don't forget my balls,
you stupid crow.

180
00:11:05,694 --> 00:11:07,494
I'm sorry.
You're right. It's not worth it.

181
00:11:07,495 --> 00:11:10,396
Yeah! Walk away, pussy!
Caw!

182
00:11:10,398 --> 00:11:12,498
Felch me! Caw!

183
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:14,500
I just don't think that that
bird knows what he's saying. Yeah.

184
00:11:14,502 --> 00:11:18,537
It's just a noise
coming out of their mouth. (CROW CAWING)

185
00:11:18,538 --> 00:11:20,371
Fuck them!
No, no, no.

186
00:11:21,707 --> 00:11:23,775
CROW: Fuck, fuck, fuck! Caw!

187
00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:33,484
LINDSEY:  Ben and I had
this idea of starting our own sandwich cart.

188
00:11:33,486 --> 00:11:35,819
Because people appreciate
a good sandwich,

189
00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:37,855
even when the world is ending.

190
00:11:37,857 --> 00:11:41,291
Maybe, especially
when the world is ending.

191
00:11:42,259 --> 00:11:43,659
That one is better.

192
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:46,362
That's the horseradish.
Mmm.

193
00:11:46,364 --> 00:11:48,731
I couldn't find
any mustard, so...

194
00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:50,299
I think it goes
well with it.

195
00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:51,399
Yeah, it's really...
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

196
00:11:51,401 --> 00:11:52,601
Kind of makes up for it.

197
00:11:53,903 --> 00:11:55,570
Stay calm.

198
00:11:55,572 --> 00:11:56,638
It's okay.

199
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,707
(SIGHS)

200
00:11:58,709 --> 00:12:00,742
After a while,
you just get used

201
00:12:00,743 --> 00:12:03,611
to the locusts and
the blood rain, and...

202
00:12:03,613 --> 00:12:07,748
Oh! And the fiery rocks
falling from the sky.

203
00:12:09,284 --> 00:12:10,885
Is that Trevor Burdick?

204
00:12:12,353 --> 00:12:14,654
Oh, yeah.
I think it is.

205
00:12:15,890 --> 00:12:18,358
Trevor, get inside, man.

206
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:19,826
I ain't scared!

207
00:12:19,828 --> 00:12:21,895
Bring it on!

208
00:12:21,896 --> 00:12:23,595
Wow, he's so dumb.

209
00:12:23,597 --> 00:12:24,630
An idiot.

210
00:12:24,632 --> 00:12:25,898
Trevor...

211
00:12:41,613 --> 00:12:42,813
Mmm.

212
00:12:45,716 --> 00:12:47,617
That was horrible.

213
00:12:47,619 --> 00:12:49,653
Yeah. Well...

214
00:12:49,655 --> 00:12:50,754
What?

215
00:12:50,756 --> 00:12:52,789
No, it was horrible.
It's terrible.

216
00:12:52,791 --> 00:12:54,191
What were you
going to say? Nothing.

217
00:12:54,192 --> 00:12:55,824
What were you
going to say?

218
00:12:56,793 --> 00:12:59,595
I mean, come on,
the guy is standing there

219
00:12:59,597 --> 00:13:02,598
with his hands up,
yelling, "Bring it on." He's stupid.

220
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,400
He's an idiot.
Am I wrong?

221
00:13:04,402 --> 00:13:07,736
No. That's not funny.
That's a... It's human life, you know.

222
00:13:07,737 --> 00:13:10,338
Dumb, dumb human life.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

223
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:12,207
No, that's not funny, Ben.
That's sad.

224
00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:14,642
He's a dummy.
(GIGGLES)

225
00:13:14,644 --> 00:13:16,945
You want to, uh...

226
00:13:16,946 --> 00:13:20,747
Yeah. Later, baby.
My parents are going to be home any second.

227
00:13:20,749 --> 00:13:22,516
Later, like...

228
00:13:22,518 --> 00:13:23,617
No.
No?

229
00:13:23,619 --> 00:13:24,851
(DOORKNOB CLICKS)
See. Home.

230
00:13:24,853 --> 00:13:26,220
Kill me.

231
00:13:26,221 --> 00:13:27,954
(MRS. LEWIS YELLING
INDISTINCTLY)

232
00:13:27,956 --> 00:13:30,690
Is the therapy
helping your mom at all?

233
00:13:30,692 --> 00:13:31,991
Yeah. She seems to
be crying a lot less.

234
00:13:31,993 --> 00:13:33,626
She still says
"why" a lot, though.

235
00:13:33,628 --> 00:13:35,628
Oh, that's good.

236
00:13:35,630 --> 00:13:37,730
Rocks. Baby.

237
00:13:37,731 --> 00:13:39,664
Come on.
Sounds close.

238
00:13:39,666 --> 00:13:41,800
MR. LEWIS: You go up there
and he kicks you right back down.

239
00:13:41,802 --> 00:13:43,702
You might as well
have had the sugar. (THUDDING)

240
00:13:50,508 --> 00:13:51,642
Dad!

241
00:13:56,715 --> 00:13:58,616
(SCREAMING)

242
00:14:00,384 --> 00:14:01,985
(WAILING)

243
00:14:08,492 --> 00:14:09,792
No!

244
00:14:11,494 --> 00:14:14,029
Why? Why? Why?

245
00:14:14,031 --> 00:14:16,031
Why? Why?

246
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,767
My eggs.

247
00:14:18,769 --> 00:14:21,670
My eggs.

248
00:14:21,671 --> 00:14:23,704
LINDSEY:  That day was
the worst day of my life.

249
00:14:23,706 --> 00:14:26,974
Which is saying something
in the apocalypse. (MRS. LEWIS WAILING)

250
00:14:26,976 --> 00:14:29,343
I didn't know how to feel.
(DOOR SLAMS)

251
00:14:31,846 --> 00:14:33,947
(TV PLAYING)

252
00:14:33,949 --> 00:14:36,750
The apocalypse was hard
and stressful for everybody.

253
00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:43,623
My brother Clark
and his idiot friend Fry were actually into it.

254
00:14:43,624 --> 00:14:47,459
But I think that's
because they were idiots before the Rapture, so...

255
00:14:47,461 --> 00:14:48,827
Where are you
going, Clark?

256
00:14:48,829 --> 00:14:51,330
Oh, uh, Fry and I are
gonna kayak the blood river.

257
00:14:51,332 --> 00:14:53,065
I don't think that's
a good idea, Clark.

258
00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:54,799
Whatever.
Clark!

259
00:14:54,801 --> 00:14:56,301
(EXHALES)

260
00:14:56,303 --> 00:14:58,403
Hey, Clark.

261
00:14:58,405 --> 00:15:00,972
Hey, buddy. Be careful
out on the river, okay?

262
00:15:00,974 --> 00:15:03,675
Because your mom
could seriously not handle anything bad...

263
00:15:03,676 --> 00:15:05,409
Dude, suck it.

264
00:15:05,411 --> 00:15:07,411
Keep any open wounds covered.

265
00:15:07,413 --> 00:15:08,578
Later, asswipe.

266
00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:10,647
(SOBBING) Asswipe!
(DOOR CLOSES)

267
00:15:10,649 --> 00:15:12,883
Be careful of the
wraiths, Clark.

268
00:15:14,084 --> 00:15:15,885
The wraiths have
been here a while now,

269
00:15:15,887 --> 00:15:17,820
and they're still bad,
I guess.

270
00:15:17,822 --> 00:15:19,588
Like, some of them still
work for The Beast.

271
00:15:19,590 --> 00:15:22,024
But a lot of them are
basically unemployed,

272
00:15:22,026 --> 00:15:23,859
and they don't really
have anything to do.

273
00:15:23,861 --> 00:15:27,963
So, a lot of them
have become serious potheads.

274
00:15:27,964 --> 00:15:30,732
You know,
joints or a bag.

275
00:15:31,967 --> 00:15:33,868
Dude, forget it.
You still didn't pay for the last bag.

276
00:15:33,870 --> 00:15:35,036
Look, I'll pay you.

277
00:15:35,037 --> 00:15:36,337
No. Forget it.

278
00:15:36,339 --> 00:15:39,006
I will destroy you.

279
00:15:39,008 --> 00:15:40,841
We will destroy you.

280
00:15:40,843 --> 00:15:41,842
Wow, I'm so scared
right now.

281
00:15:41,844 --> 00:15:43,410
Just one joint, man.

282
00:15:43,412 --> 00:15:44,812
Fuck! Fine, here you go.

283
00:15:44,814 --> 00:15:45,813
Thanks, man.
POTHEAD WRAITH: Thanks, bro.

284
00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:46,846
Do you ever fucking bathe?

285
00:15:55,856 --> 00:15:57,357
Are you still
seeing Catherine?

286
00:15:57,358 --> 00:15:59,925
Yeah, she's intense.

287
00:15:59,927 --> 00:16:02,661
You shouldn't let
bitches push you around.

288
00:16:02,663 --> 00:16:04,596
LINDSEY:  Everyone was
struggling to get by now,

289
00:16:04,598 --> 00:16:06,798
except the people
who made a deal with the devil.

290
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,533
I mean,
they were on his payroll.

291
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:14,438
And you've recently split from
your wife of eight years, Kimberlee, why?

292
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,108
Well, she's kind of a stupid,
vapid whore, Liz. (CHUCKLES)

293
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,442
I'm just kidding.

294
00:16:18,443 --> 00:16:22,712
And now she's
off in Los Angeles trying to be an actress.

295
00:16:22,714 --> 00:16:24,748
(SNIGGERS)  Good luck.

296
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:28,585
I prefer to be
right here in Seattle. Go Mariners.

297
00:16:28,586 --> 00:16:31,019
Are there any
romantic prospects for The Beast?

298
00:16:31,021 --> 00:16:33,822
The problem with
most of the women

299
00:16:33,824 --> 00:16:36,892
I meet is that they
are all sluts, you know.

300
00:16:36,894 --> 00:16:39,928
And I'm looking
for somebody who is, uh,

301
00:16:39,929 --> 00:16:42,830
old fashioned.
The girl next door.

302
00:16:42,832 --> 00:16:45,933
With a nice rack
and a nice round... (BEEPS)

303
00:16:45,935 --> 00:16:48,002
See. Right there.

304
00:16:48,004 --> 00:16:49,704
BEN: I can't see you.
I'm right there behind him.

305
00:16:49,706 --> 00:16:50,872
Right there
with the mustache.

306
00:16:50,873 --> 00:16:51,838
Oh, yeah.

307
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,006
(CHUCKLES)

308
00:16:53,008 --> 00:16:55,409
Not bad, huh?

309
00:16:55,411 --> 00:16:58,512
Your old man's on
global TV there, Benjamin.

310
00:17:00,148 --> 00:17:03,984
If you ask my opinion,
the guy has gotten a bad rap.

311
00:17:03,985 --> 00:17:05,918
He's the Antichrist, Dad.

312
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,687
"He's the Antichrist.
He's the Antichrist."

313
00:17:08,689 --> 00:17:12,591
I'm just saying, he has done
a couple of good things, so sue me.

314
00:17:12,592 --> 00:17:14,492
Like what?
Seriously, like what?

315
00:17:14,494 --> 00:17:16,661
Okay, well,
for instance, um,

316
00:17:16,663 --> 00:17:20,598
He is the most evil individual
who has ever lived, Mr. H.

317
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,601
"The most evil individual
who has ever lived"

318
00:17:23,602 --> 00:17:25,502
is paying the bills
around here.

319
00:17:25,504 --> 00:17:29,606
I'm just saying, he's not
as bad as everybody says. That's all.

320
00:17:29,608 --> 00:17:31,175
He blew up Chicago, Mr. H.

321
00:17:31,177 --> 00:17:34,445
I am not saying
I support everything he has done, Lindsey.

322
00:17:34,446 --> 00:17:38,548
I was totally against that,
and I said so at the time.

323
00:17:38,550 --> 00:17:41,150
There is no good reason
to blow up Chicago.

324
00:17:41,152 --> 00:17:43,085
Except for the food,
the weather, and the people.

325
00:17:43,087 --> 00:17:45,021
Okay. Now, you are defending
him blowing up Chicago.

326
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:48,824
No, I'm not, Ben.
I'm just providing context.

327
00:17:48,826 --> 00:17:50,492
(CHUCKLES)

328
00:17:50,494 --> 00:17:52,160
You know what?

329
00:17:52,162 --> 00:17:54,696
You guys should
come work with me. Then, you would see the deal.

330
00:17:54,697 --> 00:17:57,131
No, we are not going to be
Beastly Guards, Dad.

331
00:17:57,133 --> 00:18:00,935
You don't have to
be a Beastly Guard. You could work in the shop.

332
00:18:00,937 --> 00:18:03,704
And you could do the kitchen
with the other gals.

333
00:18:03,706 --> 00:18:05,973
Yeah,
a couple of guys just quit.

334
00:18:05,974 --> 00:18:08,975
Well,
they didn't quit, per se. They were laid off.

335
00:18:10,044 --> 00:18:12,011
Let go. Killed.

336
00:18:12,013 --> 00:18:15,548
Look, they were
working against him, Ben.

337
00:18:15,550 --> 00:18:18,718
I mean,
what's he supposed to do? Give them a raise?

338
00:18:19,719 --> 00:18:21,520
You are so morally lost.

339
00:18:21,522 --> 00:18:24,590
Hey! Kiddo, I'm just saying
that's the way the world works,

340
00:18:24,592 --> 00:18:27,159
and you are not exactly
raking in the dough

341
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,659
at the homeless shelter.

342
00:18:28,661 --> 00:18:30,561
Somebody has to help
those people, Mr. H.

343
00:18:30,563 --> 00:18:33,664
Are you trying to
be good or something so that you get raptured?

344
00:18:33,666 --> 00:18:35,666
Because,
I'm telling you, kids,

345
00:18:35,668 --> 00:18:38,135
that was
a one-time dealy, okay?

346
00:18:38,136 --> 00:18:41,738
(CHUCKLES) And this one
up here, forget about it.

347
00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:45,075
You are not going
anywhere with all the carrying on in your room.

348
00:18:45,077 --> 00:18:48,645
You'd think masturbating
powered the lights around here. (CHUCKLES)

349
00:18:48,646 --> 00:18:51,247
Hey, I'm not going
anywhere either, Ben, okay?

350
00:18:51,249 --> 00:18:53,716
Your mommy is
going to be up there all by her lonesome.

351
00:18:53,718 --> 00:18:55,618
I miss you, babe.

352
00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:57,253
We are going to work
on the sandwich cart. Uh-huh.

353
00:18:57,255 --> 00:19:00,122
Hey, health insurance.
Dental.

354
00:19:00,123 --> 00:19:02,290
They cover acupuncture,
Lindsey.

355
00:19:02,292 --> 00:19:03,892
Thanks for the pizza.

356
00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:06,594
(MOCKINGLY)
"Thanks for the pizza."

357
00:19:06,596 --> 00:19:07,829
I never liked you.

358
00:19:10,598 --> 00:19:12,199
Kids.

359
00:19:12,201 --> 00:19:14,167
World's Most
Embarrassing Raptures.

360
00:19:14,169 --> 00:19:16,904
Ha! The rapture show is on.

361
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:18,005
What the fuck?

362
00:19:18,007 --> 00:19:19,306
This guy is on a toilet.

363
00:19:20,674 --> 00:19:22,642
(CACKLING)

364
00:19:24,711 --> 00:19:26,779
I saw it coming
and I still laughed.

365
00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:34,920
LINDSEY: You know, I was
thinking, if this goes well, and we make a little money,

366
00:19:34,922 --> 00:19:38,590
I think we should
move out of our parents' and get a place together.

367
00:19:38,592 --> 00:19:40,158
Yeah?

368
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,560
Yeah.

369
00:19:41,561 --> 00:19:44,094
Maybe get married
and start a family.

370
00:19:45,697 --> 00:19:49,066
I mean, would you really
want kids?

371
00:19:49,068 --> 00:19:51,135
In a world like this?

372
00:19:51,137 --> 00:19:53,170
(WHOOSHING)

373
00:19:53,171 --> 00:19:56,639
Things are bound to get better
at some point, right? So...

374
00:19:56,641 --> 00:19:58,274
Maybe that point is right now.

375
00:20:03,713 --> 00:20:04,613
Just humor me.

376
00:20:04,615 --> 00:20:06,014
I'll humor you.

377
00:20:06,016 --> 00:20:07,749
Come on.
Come inside.

378
00:20:22,998 --> 00:20:24,732
BEN: Are you kidding me?

379
00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:28,702
What the fuck?

380
00:20:28,704 --> 00:20:31,104
I'm fucking done
with this shit!

381
00:20:33,307 --> 00:20:35,842
No. Come on.
Are you okay? Are you okay?

382
00:20:35,843 --> 00:20:38,611
I'm fine.
I'm sorry.

383
00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:43,649
I really, really loved that
food cart idea, Ben. I did, I did. I did.

384
00:20:43,651 --> 00:20:46,051
I very much wanted
to see you kids succeed at that,

385
00:20:46,052 --> 00:20:48,219
but let's not
kid ourselves here.

386
00:20:48,221 --> 00:20:50,321
It is not easy to
make money these days.

387
00:20:50,323 --> 00:20:51,856
Well, we're only going
to do it until we have

388
00:20:51,858 --> 00:20:53,658
enough money to
rebuild the cart, Dad.

389
00:20:53,660 --> 00:20:55,126
Absolutely.
Absolutely.

390
00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:57,095
A month, max.

391
00:21:02,266 --> 00:21:04,868
SHORT WRAITH: But people
will tell you cardio all the time. And...

392
00:21:04,870 --> 00:21:07,871
There he is. Hey.

393
00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:11,107
How is it going today?
Oh, let's see.

394
00:21:11,109 --> 00:21:12,675
Oh, this is yours.
Yeah.

395
00:21:12,677 --> 00:21:13,976
"Dickhead."
Says it right there.

396
00:21:13,978 --> 00:21:15,645
No. That's not
what it says.

397
00:21:15,647 --> 00:21:17,713
Who are these?
This is my son and his girlfriend.

398
00:21:17,715 --> 00:21:20,049
Just bringing
them to work today.

399
00:21:20,050 --> 00:21:21,683
Your father's an asshole.

400
00:21:21,685 --> 00:21:23,284
Just so you know.

401
00:21:23,286 --> 00:21:25,086
(MR. HOUSE CHUCKLES)

402
00:21:26,055 --> 00:21:27,255
We have fun.

403
00:21:27,257 --> 00:21:28,657
No, we don't.
He's just having fun.

404
00:21:28,658 --> 00:21:30,658
No, I'm not.
A real joker this one.

405
00:21:30,660 --> 00:21:31,792
Not with this guy.

406
00:21:35,230 --> 00:21:36,697
We've got a minivan
coming in.

407
00:21:36,699 --> 00:21:38,799
It's not a minivan.
Soccer mom coming through.

408
00:21:38,801 --> 00:21:40,000
Not a minivan.

409
00:21:40,001 --> 00:21:41,134
(BUZZES)

410
00:21:42,803 --> 00:21:44,804
Okay. Well, fuck you.

411
00:21:44,806 --> 00:21:46,973
Oh, really? Fuck me?
Fuck you!

412
00:21:46,975 --> 00:21:48,441
A real asshole.

413
00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:59,685
MR. HOUSE: Now, The Beast
isn't here, so everything is kind of chill.

414
00:21:59,687 --> 00:22:02,988
Pretty cool of your old man
to be showing you around on his day off, huh?

415
00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:11,929
I am going to put you
kids by the pool area.

416
00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:14,698
It's a very kick
back assignment. You are going to love it.

417
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:17,934
Hey, Margie,
flowers look great.

418
00:22:17,936 --> 00:22:19,936
Don't look anybody
in the eye, okay? I'm serious.

419
00:22:19,938 --> 00:22:21,838
Don't look anybody
in the eye.

420
00:22:23,807 --> 00:22:25,874
This is it. This is the pool.
Gorgeous, huh?

421
00:22:26,843 --> 00:22:28,243
Now, you gotta be careful,

422
00:22:28,245 --> 00:22:30,379
because there are landmines
all over the place.

423
00:22:30,381 --> 00:22:32,014
(GOLF CARTS APPROACHING)

424
00:22:32,016 --> 00:22:34,383
Holy dick and balls.

425
00:22:34,384 --> 00:22:36,317
BEN: What is it?
The Beast.

426
00:22:36,319 --> 00:22:37,452
He's coming down.

427
00:22:37,454 --> 00:22:38,920
What for?

428
00:22:38,922 --> 00:22:40,822
I have no idea.

429
00:22:40,824 --> 00:22:44,158
Okay, but listen.
Whatever he says, you just say yes.

430
00:22:44,159 --> 00:22:46,093
MORGAN: Let's go, guys.
Line it up.

431
00:22:46,095 --> 00:22:48,895
So, don't say anything.
Don't even say yes.

432
00:22:48,897 --> 00:22:50,497
Okay, I'll say yes.

433
00:22:51,833 --> 00:22:53,300
Walt.
Hey, Morgan.

434
00:22:53,302 --> 00:22:55,135
No matter what happens,
you say yes.

435
00:22:55,136 --> 00:22:56,235
I know the deal.

436
00:22:56,237 --> 00:22:57,770
(MOCKINGLY)
"I know the deal."

437
00:22:57,772 --> 00:22:58,971
All clear here, boss!

438
00:22:58,973 --> 00:23:00,840
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

439
00:23:37,941 --> 00:23:43,078
Well, what a treat for me.
Delightful to meet you, young man.

440
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,947
A real chip off the old block.
And you are handsome and intelligent...

441
00:23:45,949 --> 00:23:49,351
Little Beast has some
special requirements for the pool area.

442
00:23:49,352 --> 00:23:50,818
Uh... I'm sorry?

443
00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:52,920
The pool area.

444
00:23:52,922 --> 00:23:54,855
You heard me say
pool area, right?

445
00:23:54,857 --> 00:23:55,956
Yes.
Where are we standing right now?

446
00:23:55,958 --> 00:23:56,857
The pool area.
Yeah.

447
00:23:56,859 --> 00:23:58,092
The motherfucking pool!

448
00:23:58,094 --> 00:23:59,994
Shut up!
Okay.

449
00:23:59,995 --> 00:24:01,961
But I'm not...
Yeah.

450
00:24:01,963 --> 00:24:03,496
Are you dumb or just stupid?

451
00:24:06,033 --> 00:24:07,901
(STUTTERS) Yeah, of course.
The pool area.

452
00:24:07,903 --> 00:24:09,269
What can I do you for?
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

453
00:24:09,271 --> 00:24:11,070
Tell him what you want,
Little Beast.

454
00:24:11,071 --> 00:24:12,471
The Beast.
KIMBERLEE:  Hey, Earl!

455
00:24:12,473 --> 00:24:13,806
(GRUNTS)

456
00:24:13,808 --> 00:24:14,840
You never call me back!

457
00:24:14,842 --> 00:24:16,909
Kim. Slow down.

458
00:24:16,911 --> 00:24:18,577
Tell him what you want.

459
00:24:18,579 --> 00:24:20,913
I want a big slide.

460
00:24:20,914 --> 00:24:22,180
Okay.
Hey, Earl...

461
00:24:22,182 --> 00:24:26,117
My name is not Earl, okay.
It's Beast.

462
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,820
I don't give a shit
what you call yourself. You're still an asshole.

463
00:24:28,822 --> 00:24:30,288
I will fuck your shit up!

464
00:24:30,290 --> 00:24:31,889
Goodbye, Kimberlee.

465
00:24:31,890 --> 00:24:34,591
Don't you fucking
hang up on me! Don't you...

466
00:24:34,593 --> 00:24:35,926
(EXHALES)

467
00:24:35,928 --> 00:24:38,261
I hate you!
I wish you were dead.

468
00:24:38,263 --> 00:24:39,963
(CHUCKLES)

469
00:24:39,965 --> 00:24:41,898
Very funny.
Right back at you, kid.

470
00:24:41,899 --> 00:24:44,033
We need this done by
next week. You got it?

471
00:24:44,035 --> 00:24:45,401
Yes. Of course.

472
00:24:45,403 --> 00:24:46,902
Go back to the cart,
Little Beast.

473
00:24:46,904 --> 00:24:48,170
Next week.

474
00:24:50,941 --> 00:24:53,475
Who's your assistant,
contractor? MR. HOUSE: Huh?

475
00:24:53,476 --> 00:24:55,210
Oh! Nobody.
That's my son, Ben.

476
00:24:55,212 --> 00:24:57,612
No. Not Rachel Maddow.

477
00:24:57,614 --> 00:24:59,247
That is his girlfriend,
Lindsey.

478
00:25:11,526 --> 00:25:13,927
(WHISPERS)
I'm a pool contractor now? Shut your mouth.

479
00:25:17,564 --> 00:25:20,533
(WHISPERS) What am I
supposed to do? This is what I deal with every day.

480
00:25:20,535 --> 00:25:22,335
Welcome, Lindsey.

481
00:25:22,337 --> 00:25:24,003
Uh, thank you.

482
00:25:24,005 --> 00:25:27,206
Can I get you anything?
Some iced tea?

483
00:25:27,207 --> 00:25:29,040
Mocha? Latte?

484
00:25:29,042 --> 00:25:30,375
Hot dog?

485
00:25:30,377 --> 00:25:33,078
Corn on the cob? Sausage?

486
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,479
Other dick-shaped food?

487
00:25:36,014 --> 00:25:37,514
No, thank you. I'm fine.

488
00:25:37,516 --> 00:25:39,416
Yes. Yes, you are.

489
00:25:39,418 --> 00:25:41,452
Mmm.

490
00:25:41,454 --> 00:25:43,420
He's a children's asshole,
but he's an asshole.

491
00:25:43,422 --> 00:25:45,990
(WHISPERS) You son of a bitch.
Thanks for leaving me out to dry.

492
00:25:45,991 --> 00:25:48,491
Do you want to go for a walk
around the premises?

493
00:25:48,493 --> 00:25:50,026
Oh...

494
00:25:50,028 --> 00:25:51,594
I just...

495
00:25:51,596 --> 00:25:54,631
I'm not a man
you want to say no to, my dear.

496
00:25:54,633 --> 00:25:56,432
Oh.

497
00:25:56,434 --> 00:26:00,270
Come on.
Come. Come. No pun intended.

498
00:26:00,271 --> 00:26:02,905
Okay, pun very much intended.
(CHUCKLES)

499
00:26:02,907 --> 00:26:05,073
I won't bite you. Come on.

500
00:26:05,075 --> 00:26:06,174
Okay.

501
00:26:09,344 --> 00:26:10,544
Back to work, contractor.

502
00:26:10,546 --> 00:26:11,646
Yes, sir.

503
00:26:11,648 --> 00:26:12,947
Back to the house,
Little Beast.

504
00:26:12,949 --> 00:26:14,315
But, Dad!

505
00:26:14,317 --> 00:26:19,387
Get the fuck back in
the house now! Fucker.

506
00:26:19,388 --> 00:26:20,587
Fuck!

507
00:26:20,589 --> 00:26:22,289
We are traveling.
We are traveling.

508
00:26:22,291 --> 00:26:24,291
Fuck!

509
00:26:25,927 --> 00:26:27,160
Fuck!
No, this is bullshit.

510
00:26:27,162 --> 00:26:28,395
Don't.

511
00:26:28,397 --> 00:26:29,996
Don't.
No, but...

512
00:26:29,997 --> 00:26:31,196
Don't.

513
00:26:33,333 --> 00:26:35,668
Listen,
these people will kill you as soon as look at you.

514
00:26:35,670 --> 00:26:38,037
I'm not going to
let the Antichrist steal my girlfriend, Dad.

515
00:26:38,039 --> 00:26:39,505
Oh, come on.

516
00:26:39,506 --> 00:26:41,306
What are you going to do?
Challenge him to a fight?

517
00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:43,041
I don't know.

518
00:26:43,043 --> 00:26:44,108
But I'm going
to do something.

519
00:26:44,110 --> 00:26:45,310
No, you're not.
No, you're not.

520
00:26:45,312 --> 00:26:46,577
Look, they're just talking.

521
00:26:46,579 --> 00:26:48,579
You need to
believe in me, Dad. Oh.

522
00:26:48,581 --> 00:26:51,149
Believe in you, Ben?
Really?

523
00:26:51,150 --> 00:26:53,951
Yes!
Come on!

524
00:26:53,953 --> 00:26:55,719
THE BEAST: You are delicious.
You know that?

525
00:26:55,721 --> 00:26:59,957
I bet your vagina tastes like
pistachio mint ice cream.

526
00:26:59,959 --> 00:27:02,125
Low fat.

527
00:27:02,126 --> 00:27:04,260
Tell me, Lindsey,
what's a gorgeous girl

528
00:27:04,262 --> 00:27:07,430
like yourself doing
in a job like this?

529
00:27:07,432 --> 00:27:09,699
Well, my boyfriend,
Ben, and I...

530
00:27:09,701 --> 00:27:12,001
Ex-boyfriend. (CHUCKLES)

531
00:27:12,002 --> 00:27:15,971
I'm just kidding.
Not really. Go ahead.

532
00:27:15,973 --> 00:27:18,139
Yeah, we were starting
this sandwich business

533
00:27:18,141 --> 00:27:21,543
and, um, our cart got crushed
by one of those falling rocks.

534
00:27:21,545 --> 00:27:23,111
Ooh.

535
00:27:23,112 --> 00:27:25,346
Bad luck.

536
00:27:25,348 --> 00:27:28,015
Right. So, now we're just
working with his dad.

537
00:27:28,017 --> 00:27:31,518
Bad luck for you,
but good luck for me. Huh?

538
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:37,992
You look like a cross between
Scarlett Johansson and Hilary Swank.

539
00:27:37,993 --> 00:27:39,759
Did anyone ever
tell you that, Lindsey?

540
00:27:39,761 --> 00:27:41,027
No.

541
00:27:41,029 --> 00:27:43,162
You got to be kidding me.

542
00:27:43,164 --> 00:27:47,200
What did you say?
Scarlett Johansson, Hilary Swank. Fucking, yeah...

543
00:27:47,201 --> 00:27:48,633
Shut up.

544
00:27:48,635 --> 00:27:52,104
Both lovely ladies
with lovely racks, like yourself.

545
00:27:57,509 --> 00:28:00,511
I have a wonderful,
spontaneous idea.

546
00:28:00,513 --> 00:28:02,613
Let's have sex in
these bushes right here.

547
00:28:02,615 --> 00:28:05,583
What?
Yeah. What do you think?

548
00:28:05,584 --> 00:28:07,384
Don't fight
the impulse now, Lindsey. Uh... No, I don't...

549
00:28:07,386 --> 00:28:11,187
That's okay. No, thank you.

550
00:28:11,189 --> 00:28:13,189
I really don't
want to do that. What?

551
00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:14,491
I don't want to do that.
Why not?

552
00:28:16,092 --> 00:28:17,793
I think you do.

553
00:28:17,795 --> 00:28:20,529
No, I don't.
Come on. Why not?

554
00:28:20,531 --> 00:28:22,331
So many reasons. I, uh...

555
00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:24,099
I just don't do that.

556
00:28:24,101 --> 00:28:25,401
You don't what?

557
00:28:25,403 --> 00:28:27,136
What are you, a virgin?
(CHUCKLES)

558
00:28:30,305 --> 00:28:31,539
You are?

559
00:28:33,075 --> 00:28:34,609
Really?

560
00:28:34,611 --> 00:28:35,810
Well, yeah.

561
00:28:35,812 --> 00:28:37,779
Whoa! A virgin?

562
00:28:37,780 --> 00:28:39,646
Whoo! Did you hear that?

563
00:28:39,648 --> 00:28:40,781
(CHUCKLES)
They are hard to find.

564
00:28:40,783 --> 00:28:42,516
Winner! You a virgin?

565
00:28:42,518 --> 00:28:45,118
That's great.
Honey need a little slap.

566
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:46,620
Girl's going to
give it up to you, sir.

567
00:28:46,622 --> 00:28:48,221
Shut your mouth!

568
00:28:48,222 --> 00:28:49,121
I'm so sorry.

569
00:28:49,123 --> 00:28:50,423
Where are your sunglasses?

570
00:28:50,425 --> 00:28:52,191
Mine fell in the koi pond.

571
00:28:53,226 --> 00:28:55,594
It's not a big deal.

572
00:28:55,596 --> 00:28:58,364
No, it is to me. Yeah.

573
00:28:58,366 --> 00:28:59,832
You got to take it
to the hole, sir.

574
00:28:59,833 --> 00:29:01,533
Mmm-hmm.

575
00:29:01,535 --> 00:29:03,134
I probably shouldn't
have said anything.

576
00:29:03,136 --> 00:29:06,571
No, I get it. You want
your first time to be

577
00:29:06,573 --> 00:29:10,108
special, beautiful.

578
00:29:10,109 --> 00:29:11,508
Yeah.

579
00:29:11,510 --> 00:29:13,143
And so it will be.

580
00:29:13,145 --> 00:29:16,313
I promise you,
your first time, no anal.

581
00:29:16,315 --> 00:29:18,148
This way, my dear.

582
00:29:21,118 --> 00:29:22,418
I don't care, Dad.

583
00:29:22,420 --> 00:29:24,854
I'm going to punch
that guy in the face.

584
00:29:24,856 --> 00:29:26,856
Ben, come on.
Be reasonable.

585
00:29:26,858 --> 00:29:28,224
No, I am.

586
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,195
Ow!

587
00:29:32,196 --> 00:29:33,361
(GASPING)

588
00:29:34,497 --> 00:29:36,431
Oh, shit.

589
00:29:36,433 --> 00:29:38,200
We just met though, so...

590
00:29:38,202 --> 00:29:42,104
And at first,
I swear, I thought you were just another hot piece of ass,

591
00:29:42,105 --> 00:29:44,705
but a virgin! Ohhh!

592
00:29:44,707 --> 00:29:46,740
That is really something.

593
00:29:49,778 --> 00:29:51,312
Fuck you all.

594
00:29:54,448 --> 00:29:56,216
That's rude.

595
00:29:56,218 --> 00:29:59,853
You know, I'm no good
at this type of thing, but...

596
00:29:59,855 --> 00:30:02,489
Fuck it. Marry me, Lindsey.

597
00:30:02,491 --> 00:30:05,425
Marry me and become the mother
of my evil offspring.

598
00:30:05,426 --> 00:30:07,192
What?
I know!

599
00:30:07,194 --> 00:30:09,862
Call me impetuous.
Call me an incurable romantic,

600
00:30:09,864 --> 00:30:11,763
but something in
my gut tells me

601
00:30:11,765 --> 00:30:13,298
you're the one for me.

602
00:30:13,300 --> 00:30:15,601
Okay, you already
have a son, though.

603
00:30:15,602 --> 00:30:19,504
Little Beast is a dud.
I need more children,

604
00:30:19,506 --> 00:30:21,539
a mini-bus full, you know?

605
00:30:21,541 --> 00:30:22,907
(BEN GROANS)

606
00:30:22,909 --> 00:30:24,208
You all right, Ben?

607
00:30:27,879 --> 00:30:29,412
You hit me with a shovel?

608
00:30:29,414 --> 00:30:31,281
Only a little bit.

609
00:30:33,718 --> 00:30:36,219
You are having reservations,
aren't you, my dear?

610
00:30:36,220 --> 00:30:37,419
Yes.

611
00:30:37,421 --> 00:30:39,188
I can tell.
This is a horse.

612
00:30:39,190 --> 00:30:40,289
It's big.

613
00:30:40,291 --> 00:30:42,258
I want to show you
something, Lindsey.

614
00:30:42,260 --> 00:30:44,260
Not that. Not yet.

615
00:30:44,262 --> 00:30:45,928
You will see my penis later.

616
00:30:45,930 --> 00:30:47,363
Oh.

617
00:30:48,697 --> 00:30:50,165
I am going to get that guy.

618
00:30:50,167 --> 00:30:51,266
Ben, come on!

619
00:30:51,268 --> 00:30:53,268
What? Are you
going to hit me again?

620
00:30:54,803 --> 00:30:57,305
Shit. Shit.

621
00:30:58,273 --> 00:30:59,740
I gotta get him out of here.

622
00:31:01,242 --> 00:31:04,278
I know exactly
what you are worried about, Lindsey.

623
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:05,445
You do?

624
00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:06,780
"But, Mr. Beast.

625
00:31:06,782 --> 00:31:09,283
"As much as I'm
attracted to you, and I am.

626
00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:12,952
"The truth is, I'm scared.

627
00:31:12,954 --> 00:31:14,954
"If I marry you and
become your evil queen,

628
00:31:14,956 --> 00:31:16,622
"won't people despise me?

629
00:31:16,624 --> 00:31:19,192
"Won't I become a target,
just like you?

630
00:31:19,193 --> 00:31:24,296
"And unlike you,
if I'm killed, I won't return as 'Satan.'"

631
00:31:24,298 --> 00:31:26,298
Why am I using air quotes?

632
00:31:27,300 --> 00:31:29,534
I will be Satan.

633
00:31:29,535 --> 00:31:30,901
Yeah, um, actually...

634
00:31:30,903 --> 00:31:32,203
Hey, hey, hey...

635
00:31:32,205 --> 00:31:34,238
You will become a target,

636
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,307
but there is a weapon here

637
00:31:36,309 --> 00:31:39,343
that very few people
know about.

638
00:31:41,879 --> 00:31:43,646
That's a...
Yes.

639
00:31:43,648 --> 00:31:46,249
A real live

640
00:31:46,251 --> 00:31:51,254
XGLTLGL laser beam.

641
00:31:51,255 --> 00:31:52,287
Or something.

642
00:31:52,289 --> 00:31:53,956
All right.

643
00:31:53,958 --> 00:31:57,459
See, there's this
rumor going around, this prediction of sorts,

644
00:31:57,461 --> 00:32:00,829
that before long,
someone who shall remain nameless,

645
00:32:00,831 --> 00:32:04,666
Jesus, is going to come down
from the sky and vanquish me.

646
00:32:04,667 --> 00:32:05,800
Oh.

647
00:32:05,802 --> 00:32:07,935
Yeah. But I don't think so.

648
00:32:07,937 --> 00:32:09,537
Oh! Oh, wow!

649
00:32:12,340 --> 00:32:13,440
Do you see that crow?

650
00:32:13,442 --> 00:32:14,874
Hey, fuckers. Toss my salad!

651
00:32:15,910 --> 00:32:17,244
Okay.

652
00:32:17,246 --> 00:32:19,412
Primer set.
(BEEPING)

653
00:32:22,316 --> 00:32:23,450
Whoo!

654
00:32:25,252 --> 00:32:27,419
Yeah! Bam!

655
00:32:27,421 --> 00:32:28,754
(CHUCKLES)

656
00:32:28,756 --> 00:32:32,424
Yeah! Toss my salad,
crow! Suck my balls!

657
00:32:32,426 --> 00:32:35,828
That big motherfucker up there
has no idea who he is dealing with.

658
00:32:36,795 --> 00:32:38,463
I call it my

659
00:32:38,465 --> 00:32:40,298
you-know-who buster.

660
00:32:40,300 --> 00:32:41,666
Uh-huh.

661
00:32:41,668 --> 00:32:43,801
Excuse me.
Oh.

662
00:32:43,803 --> 00:32:49,474
So, you see, my dear,
you will be perfectly safe here with me.

663
00:32:50,441 --> 00:32:51,742
(SIGHS)

664
00:32:52,910 --> 00:32:54,544
So, what do you say?
No!

665
00:32:56,013 --> 00:32:57,380
Thank you.

666
00:32:58,815 --> 00:33:00,416
Fine. All right.

667
00:33:01,385 --> 00:33:03,486
I understand. Um...

668
00:33:05,855 --> 00:33:07,889
Of course, I've got to kill
everyone you know,

669
00:33:07,891 --> 00:33:09,858
starting with your boyfriend
and his father.

670
00:33:09,860 --> 00:33:10,959
What?

671
00:33:10,961 --> 00:33:12,427
Your choice, my dear.

672
00:33:12,429 --> 00:33:14,696
No, wait! Uh...

673
00:33:14,698 --> 00:33:17,332
If I could just
have a little time to think about it.

674
00:33:17,333 --> 00:33:18,432
(SIGHS)

675
00:33:18,434 --> 00:33:20,334
Of course.

676
00:33:20,336 --> 00:33:22,536
You have eight hours.

677
00:33:22,538 --> 00:33:24,938
And in that time,
if you are not back here, ready to marry me

678
00:33:24,940 --> 00:33:26,607
and bear my evil children,

679
00:33:26,609 --> 00:33:29,410
I will kill everyone you know.
Sound fair?

680
00:33:30,377 --> 00:33:31,744
Okay.

681
00:33:31,746 --> 00:33:35,381
Ohhh! I feel so good
about this, don't you?

682
00:33:37,418 --> 00:33:39,686
Take the rest of
the day off, Lindsey.

683
00:33:39,687 --> 00:33:41,653
Get ready for tonight.
Paint your toenails,

684
00:33:41,655 --> 00:33:44,556
trim your bush,
bleach your asshole, douche, whatever.

685
00:33:45,758 --> 00:33:47,626
Eight hours, remember?

686
00:33:47,628 --> 00:33:48,860
Ohhh.

687
00:33:48,861 --> 00:33:50,761
Don't trim your
bush too much now.

688
00:33:50,763 --> 00:33:52,830
Okay.

689
00:33:52,832 --> 00:33:55,733
Adieu, Lindsey,  adieu.

690
00:33:56,735 --> 00:33:57,968
Bye.

691
00:34:00,371 --> 00:34:01,538
Toodle-oo!

692
00:34:02,973 --> 00:34:04,841
Slow this bitch down!

693
00:34:04,843 --> 00:34:07,577
It's fucking
with my vertigo, motherfucker.

694
00:34:08,546 --> 00:34:10,080
BEN: Jesus, Dad.

695
00:34:10,081 --> 00:34:12,681
MR. HOUSE: I'm not saying
it's good or right, Benjamin.

696
00:34:12,683 --> 00:34:15,517
I'm just saying
he's the Antichrist, here, and you are you.

697
00:34:15,519 --> 00:34:17,519
Thank you.
You know what I'm saying.

698
00:34:17,521 --> 00:34:18,854
He's like a god.

699
00:34:18,856 --> 00:34:21,490
Which is ironic,
if you think about it.

700
00:34:22,524 --> 00:34:24,559
Maybe Lindsey
will like it. Huh?

701
00:34:24,561 --> 00:34:26,694
Lindsey is not
going to like it. How do you know?

702
00:34:26,696 --> 00:34:29,597
Because she likes me. Right?
You don't like him.

703
00:34:29,599 --> 00:34:31,733
Hey, how do we
know anything?

704
00:34:31,734 --> 00:34:33,367
No! I know she likes me!

705
00:34:33,369 --> 00:34:34,701
MR. HOUSE: (MOCKINGLY)
"I know she likes me."

706
00:34:34,703 --> 00:34:36,370
That's what you
sound like right now.

707
00:34:36,372 --> 00:34:38,672
Why would you mock me?
You are such a terrible father.

708
00:34:40,608 --> 00:34:42,376
Hey, Linds.

709
00:34:42,377 --> 00:34:43,442
Um...

710
00:34:44,378 --> 00:34:46,445
I just wanted to say that

711
00:34:46,447 --> 00:34:51,650
you know, ever since
your father was squashed by a big giant rock,

712
00:34:51,652 --> 00:34:53,986
I feel like a father to you.
You know?

713
00:34:53,987 --> 00:34:55,620
And as your father,

714
00:34:55,622 --> 00:34:58,156
I feel like
I just have to say

715
00:34:58,158 --> 00:35:00,125
I just think
you have to go with The Beast here.

716
00:35:00,127 --> 00:35:02,160
Thanks for the advice.
And of course, if you don't,

717
00:35:02,162 --> 00:35:04,529
and he kills Ben and I,
and not to mention your mom

718
00:35:04,530 --> 00:35:06,063
and your brother,
and who knows who else,

719
00:35:06,065 --> 00:35:08,665
then as long as you
are happy with that,

720
00:35:08,667 --> 00:35:11,568
that is all that matters.
You know?

721
00:35:11,570 --> 00:35:13,504
(CHUCKLES)

722
00:35:13,506 --> 00:35:16,673
Because that means your honor
was more important to you than we are.

723
00:35:16,674 --> 00:35:18,441
She is not going to
go with The Beast, Dad.

724
00:35:18,443 --> 00:35:19,976
I know, Ben.

725
00:35:19,978 --> 00:35:21,511
I know.

726
00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:27,516
Your mom is going
to have a meltdown.

727
00:35:27,518 --> 00:35:32,454
(WAILING) We're cursed,
Lindsey! Cursed!

728
00:35:32,456 --> 00:35:35,590
Why! Why, Lindsey?
Why are we so cursed?

729
00:35:35,591 --> 00:35:38,859
Why? Why? Why? Why?

730
00:35:38,861 --> 00:35:40,694
Maybe because you
are so annoying?

731
00:35:40,696 --> 00:35:43,497
I am not annoying, Clark.

732
00:35:43,499 --> 00:35:45,800
I am a woman with feelings.

733
00:35:45,802 --> 00:35:48,502
(IMITATES MRS. LEWIS)
Oh, my God! I'm going to be in-laws with the Antichrist.

734
00:35:48,503 --> 00:35:51,471
Poor me.
I like to cry all the time. I hate Clark.

735
00:35:51,473 --> 00:35:54,040
Mom, just deal
with it, okay? God!

736
00:35:54,042 --> 00:35:55,642
Why!

737
00:35:55,644 --> 00:35:57,210
(DOOR SLAMS)
Clark, be nicer to Mom.

738
00:35:57,211 --> 00:35:59,211
Okay, Linds,
what's your problem? This is what you gotta do.

739
00:35:59,213 --> 00:36:01,113
You go with this Beast guy,
you have a great night out,

740
00:36:01,115 --> 00:36:03,515
and at the end,
you fucking knife the shit out of him.

741
00:36:03,517 --> 00:36:05,050
If I knife him
he comes back as Satan.

742
00:36:05,052 --> 00:36:06,618
Okay, then fucking
knife Satan, too. I don't know.

743
00:36:06,620 --> 00:36:07,753
Just keep on knifing him,
don't stop.

744
00:36:07,754 --> 00:36:08,953
That's not going to work.

745
00:36:08,955 --> 00:36:11,789
Oh, uh, my sister's supposed
to marry The Beast.

746
00:36:11,791 --> 00:36:12,957
Oh, congrats, Linds,
that's great.

747
00:36:12,959 --> 00:36:14,058
No, we're going to kill him.

748
00:36:14,060 --> 00:36:17,061
Yeah, I just said that.
She should fucking knife him.

749
00:36:17,063 --> 00:36:18,529
Fucking knife him.
Just grab a knife and... (GRUNTS)

750
00:36:18,530 --> 00:36:19,796
Just fucking
knife him in the chest

751
00:36:19,798 --> 00:36:20,964
and watch his
insides pour out.

752
00:36:20,966 --> 00:36:22,466
(BOTH BABBLING)

753
00:36:23,501 --> 00:36:25,535
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

754
00:36:25,537 --> 00:36:28,939
Vick, I told you not to
come here before 2:00.

755
00:36:28,941 --> 00:36:32,542
You got a serious
problem with pot. You know that, wraith?

756
00:36:32,543 --> 00:36:36,479
What? Me? Come on, guys.

757
00:36:36,481 --> 00:36:37,947
(CHUCKLES) It's me! Vick!

758
00:36:37,949 --> 00:36:40,583
When was the last time
you went one day without weed?

759
00:36:40,584 --> 00:36:42,083
Um... Yesterday.

760
00:36:42,085 --> 00:36:43,184
Really?

761
00:36:43,186 --> 00:36:46,621
If you are going to do
this much you should get a vaporizer.

762
00:36:46,623 --> 00:36:48,590
Okay. I know.

763
00:36:48,592 --> 00:36:49,958
It's a cry for help
and you know it.

764
00:36:54,195 --> 00:36:55,863
(SOBBING)

765
00:36:55,865 --> 00:36:57,531
Mom, are you okay?

766
00:36:57,533 --> 00:36:58,632
Honey, I just...

767
00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:01,068
Do it, Lindsey.

768
00:37:01,070 --> 00:37:02,536
Go with The Beast.

769
00:37:02,537 --> 00:37:04,537
Please. Please. Please.

770
00:37:04,539 --> 00:37:06,506
Mom!
Please. Please.

771
00:37:06,508 --> 00:37:08,274
I can't stand
another bad thing happening to this family.

772
00:37:08,276 --> 00:37:11,878
I can't stand it.
I can't stand it! I can't stand it!

773
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:13,613
I am not marrying
that evil idiot, okay?

774
00:37:13,614 --> 00:37:14,913
He's not killing
everybody I love.

775
00:37:14,915 --> 00:37:16,548
There is a plan
to deal with this

776
00:37:16,550 --> 00:37:18,049
and Ben and I are
going to think of it.

777
00:37:18,051 --> 00:37:19,518
Okay.
Okay. If you're going to stand there

778
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,587
at least do it while you're
making us coffee, okay?

779
00:37:22,589 --> 00:37:23,655
Okay.

780
00:37:23,656 --> 00:37:24,955
I love you.

781
00:37:24,957 --> 00:37:26,891
I'm sorry I hit you.

782
00:37:26,893 --> 00:37:28,025
Bye, Ben.

783
00:37:29,694 --> 00:37:30,828
I'm going to make coffee!

784
00:37:32,564 --> 00:37:34,665
BEN: What about
that guy you knew? Uh...

785
00:37:34,666 --> 00:37:35,932
The mob guy,
Gina Pagano's cousin.

786
00:37:35,934 --> 00:37:37,867
LINDSEY: It's a good idea.
He got raptured, though.

787
00:37:37,869 --> 00:37:39,569
He did?

788
00:37:39,571 --> 00:37:40,703
I'm starting to
think that maybe

789
00:37:40,705 --> 00:37:41,804
we should have
just gone to church

790
00:37:41,806 --> 00:37:43,606
with our moms.
Believed. You know?

791
00:37:43,608 --> 00:37:45,575
Yeah, but if you don't,
you don't. You know?

792
00:37:45,576 --> 00:37:47,276
What if we
really are cursed? We're not.

793
00:37:47,278 --> 00:37:48,577
But what if we are?
We're not.

794
00:37:48,579 --> 00:37:50,646
We have gotten through a lot.

795
00:37:50,648 --> 00:37:51,947
We are going to
get through this. Uh-huh.

796
00:37:51,949 --> 00:37:53,282
Because we just are.

797
00:37:53,284 --> 00:37:56,985
kick the Antichrist's
ass myself, I will.

798
00:37:56,986 --> 00:37:59,554
I know. I know.
I'll do it.

799
00:37:59,556 --> 00:38:01,656
Did you find anything?
We definitely can't kill him,

800
00:38:01,658 --> 00:38:03,591
because of the whole
"possessed by Satan" thing.

801
00:38:03,593 --> 00:38:05,693
Right. The only ones
who can kill-kill him are Jesus and God, right?

802
00:38:05,694 --> 00:38:08,828
Right, but it does seem
like he could be locked up.

803
00:38:08,830 --> 00:38:11,665
Yeah. That is what's going
to happen, apparently.

804
00:38:11,667 --> 00:38:12,832
He is going to be locked up
for a thousand years.

805
00:38:12,834 --> 00:38:14,668
By God.
Yes.

806
00:38:14,670 --> 00:38:16,603
Why for just
a thousand years? Why not forever?

807
00:38:16,604 --> 00:38:18,871
See, this is exactly
what I'm talking about.

808
00:38:18,873 --> 00:38:20,673
It makes no
fucking sense at all.

809
00:38:20,675 --> 00:38:22,641
You have him,
why would you let him go?

810
00:38:22,643 --> 00:38:24,777
I don't know.
This shit!

811
00:38:24,779 --> 00:38:27,012
It just seems so
pieced together.

812
00:38:27,014 --> 00:38:28,847
Did anyone think it through?

813
00:38:28,848 --> 00:38:31,082
Wait. Why couldn't
we do this?

814
00:38:32,651 --> 00:38:34,352
Do what? Lock him up?

815
00:38:34,354 --> 00:38:35,853
Sure.

816
00:38:35,855 --> 00:38:38,623
How?

817
00:38:38,624 --> 00:38:41,625
Okay, well,
do you remember how Buster was a total escape artist,

818
00:38:41,627 --> 00:38:44,895
and my dad had to build him
that completely escape-proof kennel?

819
00:38:47,765 --> 00:38:48,899
Yeah.

820
00:38:53,770 --> 00:38:54,870
Wouldn't he yell?

821
00:38:54,872 --> 00:38:56,772
Fuck you!
You will suffer forever!

822
00:38:56,774 --> 00:38:59,609
Even if he did, you know,
nobody likes him,

823
00:38:59,610 --> 00:39:01,009
he's the Antichrist.
Who would help him?

824
00:39:01,011 --> 00:39:02,143
That's true. That's true.

825
00:39:02,145 --> 00:39:03,878
What if he got out, though?

826
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,681
We'd just have to
be incredibly careful that he didn't.

827
00:39:06,683 --> 00:39:11,853
Remember to always, always
keep the Antichrist locked up.

828
00:39:13,054 --> 00:39:14,321
Yeah.

829
00:39:15,991 --> 00:39:20,194
Maybe over time
we could turn him good.

830
00:39:20,196 --> 00:39:21,362
How?

831
00:39:21,363 --> 00:39:23,763
We could get him
a little pet. Oh.

832
00:39:23,765 --> 00:39:26,866
Have you been
chewing on my books? You adorable little scamp.

833
00:39:26,868 --> 00:39:30,370
I think after 50 years,
he's not even going to be that bad.

834
00:39:30,372 --> 00:39:32,372
Chocolate chip
cookies, kids?

835
00:39:34,207 --> 00:39:36,942
ALL: Thank you, Uncle Beast.

836
00:39:36,944 --> 00:39:39,978
You hungry little
motherfuckers. (CHUCKLES)

837
00:39:39,980 --> 00:39:43,081
Wait, Linds, no.
How are we going to do this?

838
00:39:43,082 --> 00:39:44,181
What do you mean?

839
00:39:44,183 --> 00:39:45,950
Think about it, I mean...

840
00:39:45,952 --> 00:39:48,119
I'd have to get on to
the property, right?

841
00:39:48,121 --> 00:39:49,654
Past all the wraiths.

842
00:39:49,656 --> 00:39:51,155
And the Beastly Guards.

843
00:39:51,157 --> 00:39:52,957
Right. And the Beastly Guards
kill everybody they see.

844
00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:55,191
Everybody! We'd need someone
who couldn't be killed.

845
00:39:55,193 --> 00:39:56,860
And who can't be killed?

846
00:40:01,732 --> 00:40:02,799
(GRUMBLING)

847
00:40:07,170 --> 00:40:09,371
Excuse me, Mr. Murphy.

848
00:40:10,340 --> 00:40:12,441
Hi.

849
00:40:12,443 --> 00:40:15,911
We were wondering
if we could just talk to you for a minute?

850
00:40:15,912 --> 00:40:17,679
I'm just mowing
my lawn here.

851
00:40:17,681 --> 00:40:19,681
Right, and it looks great.
As always.

852
00:40:19,683 --> 00:40:21,315
But, we were wondering...

853
00:40:21,317 --> 00:40:23,117
Well, we actually
need your help, sir.

854
00:40:24,186 --> 00:40:25,853
What?

855
00:40:25,854 --> 00:40:27,721
Yeah, see,
you're really the only one who can help us,

856
00:40:27,723 --> 00:40:29,723
because you're dead.

857
00:40:29,725 --> 00:40:30,791
Dead?

858
00:40:32,060 --> 00:40:33,427
Who is dead?

859
00:40:34,929 --> 00:40:36,063
Nobody.

860
00:40:36,064 --> 00:40:37,863
He doesn't...
Aw!

861
00:40:37,865 --> 00:40:39,432
I'm just mowing my lawn here.

862
00:40:39,434 --> 00:40:41,100
Right,
but we were wondering...

863
00:40:41,102 --> 00:40:43,169
Just mowing my lawn here!

864
00:40:45,972 --> 00:40:47,907
Dude, you're dead.

865
00:40:47,908 --> 00:40:51,109
You're dead.
Plus, you have no lawnmower. You're pushing nothing.

866
00:40:51,111 --> 00:40:52,777
(GRUMBLES)

867
00:40:53,779 --> 00:40:54,879
Mr. Murphy?

868
00:40:55,881 --> 00:40:57,082
Okay?

869
00:40:57,084 --> 00:40:58,717
LINDSEY: I don't think
it's helping.

870
00:40:58,718 --> 00:41:00,050
MR. MURPHY: You're dead,
if anybody's dead...

871
00:41:00,052 --> 00:41:02,319
Wait. Stay here.
I have an idea.

872
00:41:02,321 --> 00:41:03,787
(MUMBLING)

873
00:41:08,225 --> 00:41:09,892
Hi.

874
00:41:09,894 --> 00:41:10,827
Hey, Dad.

875
00:41:11,762 --> 00:41:13,329
What are you doing?

876
00:41:13,331 --> 00:41:15,898
Can I borrow
the truck, Dad?

877
00:41:15,900 --> 00:41:17,834
Yeah. What for?

878
00:41:17,836 --> 00:41:20,436
To take Lindsey
to The Beast's.

879
00:41:20,437 --> 00:41:22,904
Yeah. She's going with him.

880
00:41:22,906 --> 00:41:25,807
(LAUGHING)

881
00:41:25,809 --> 00:41:27,209
Ohhh!

882
00:41:27,211 --> 00:41:29,044
Ben!

883
00:41:33,849 --> 00:41:36,016
I'm so proud of you.

884
00:41:36,018 --> 00:41:38,919
I'm so relieved.
I'm so relieved she is going to fuck him.

885
00:41:38,921 --> 00:41:40,121
(CHUCKLES)

886
00:41:40,122 --> 00:41:41,855
Yeah.
Good for her.

887
00:41:42,923 --> 00:41:45,892
So, uh, what's all this?

888
00:41:46,861 --> 00:41:48,027
Oh.

889
00:41:48,029 --> 00:41:50,330
The thing is,
he's demanding a dowry.

890
00:41:50,332 --> 00:41:52,132
A dowry?
Yeah, isn't that weird?

891
00:41:52,133 --> 00:41:56,201
Yeah, well,
it's old-fashioned for sure.

892
00:41:56,203 --> 00:41:58,337
Uh... But nice in a way.
Exactly.

893
00:41:59,372 --> 00:42:01,340
Hey, Ben?
Yeah?

894
00:42:02,775 --> 00:42:04,408
So, you're going to
give him the mower?

895
00:42:04,410 --> 00:42:06,043
Well...

896
00:42:06,045 --> 00:42:08,379
What do you get the guy
who has everything?

897
00:42:08,381 --> 00:42:10,248
Yeah.

898
00:42:10,250 --> 00:42:11,983
What's really going on here?

899
00:42:11,985 --> 00:42:13,851
Nothing. Like, I mean...

900
00:42:13,852 --> 00:42:15,952
The dowry.

901
00:42:15,954 --> 00:42:17,521
Yeah, I don't believe you.

902
00:42:19,056 --> 00:42:20,157
We are going to fight him.

903
00:42:20,159 --> 00:42:22,359
Oh, God! Ben!

904
00:42:22,361 --> 00:42:23,994
Don't be ridiculous!

905
00:42:23,995 --> 00:42:25,928
No, listen. We have a plan.

906
00:42:25,930 --> 00:42:27,062
Aw...

907
00:42:27,064 --> 00:42:30,065
Aw! Aw!
You have a plan! What is it?

908
00:42:30,067 --> 00:42:31,934
We are going to
lock him in a kennel.

909
00:42:31,936 --> 00:42:35,104
You can do that.
You can keep him prisoner for a thousand years.

910
00:42:35,105 --> 00:42:36,404
Aw!

911
00:42:36,406 --> 00:42:37,939
(CHUCKLES)

912
00:42:37,941 --> 00:42:39,307
I didn't know.

913
00:42:39,309 --> 00:42:40,875
I didn't know

914
00:42:40,877 --> 00:42:42,844
that you could lock

915
00:42:42,846 --> 00:42:45,113
the Antichrist

916
00:42:45,114 --> 00:42:47,948
in a fucking kennel

917
00:42:47,950 --> 00:42:49,249
for a thousand years!

918
00:42:49,251 --> 00:42:51,418
You dumb, empty,

919
00:42:51,420 --> 00:42:55,355
retarded, mongoloid,
idiot child!

920
00:42:55,356 --> 00:43:00,326
What if it doesn't work? Huh?
Do you have a backup plan?

921
00:43:00,328 --> 00:43:03,863
It won't work.
You don't have a backup plan!

922
00:43:03,865 --> 00:43:04,997
I don't need one.

923
00:43:04,999 --> 00:43:07,166
Stupid!

924
00:43:07,167 --> 00:43:09,234
I can't let you do this, Ben.

925
00:43:09,236 --> 00:43:10,836
You are going to have to.

926
00:43:10,838 --> 00:43:12,470
I'm going to have to, huh?
Yeah.

927
00:43:18,109 --> 00:43:19,844
Put down the shovel, Ben.

928
00:43:19,846 --> 00:43:22,913
Are you going to hit me
with a rake now? Come on. Put it down.

929
00:43:34,592 --> 00:43:36,392
(IMITATES MOWER MOWING)

930
00:43:43,434 --> 00:43:48,070
He got really freaked out
after you left and just started doing that.

931
00:43:48,072 --> 00:43:49,404
Mr. Murphy, sir.

932
00:43:49,405 --> 00:43:51,038
No. Not talking to you.

933
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:52,106
Can I show you something?

934
00:43:52,108 --> 00:43:53,641
Nope.

935
00:43:53,643 --> 00:43:55,009
I think you will like it.

936
00:43:55,011 --> 00:43:57,011
Nope, nope, nope.

937
00:43:57,013 --> 00:43:59,113
Fuck it.

938
00:43:59,115 --> 00:44:00,348
Nope, nope, nope.

939
00:44:02,216 --> 00:44:03,884
He smells really bad.

940
00:44:09,957 --> 00:44:11,124
Do you like it?

941
00:44:20,166 --> 00:44:21,433
It's yours if you want it.

942
00:44:23,035 --> 00:44:25,103
All you have to do
is keep mowing.

943
00:44:27,306 --> 00:44:29,073
Oh. Nah.

944
00:44:30,943 --> 00:44:32,010
(GRUNTS)

945
00:44:32,011 --> 00:44:33,477
Unnecessary.

946
00:44:35,113 --> 00:44:36,413
Oh, he's super gross.

947
00:44:36,415 --> 00:44:38,348
He's really gross.

948
00:44:38,350 --> 00:44:39,549
LINDSEY:  This was our plan.

949
00:44:41,953 --> 00:44:44,054
Number one,

950
00:44:44,055 --> 00:44:45,621
Clark and Fry
help Ben get past the wraiths with their pot.

951
00:44:48,191 --> 00:44:50,293
Number two,

952
00:44:50,295 --> 00:44:52,261
I use The Beast's obsession
with my lady bits to distract and drug him.

953
00:44:52,263 --> 00:44:54,964
Ow!

954
00:44:54,965 --> 00:44:59,034
Number three,
get our zombie neighbor to draw away the guards.

955
00:45:00,569 --> 00:45:03,505
And number four,
bring the drugged out Beast back

956
00:45:03,507 --> 00:45:06,942
and lock him up
in Buster's kennel. (GRUNTS)

957
00:45:06,943 --> 00:45:08,509
Good plan.

958
00:45:08,511 --> 00:45:10,644
Almost nothing can go wrong.

959
00:45:16,984 --> 00:45:18,251
(SIGHS DEEPLY)

960
00:45:20,054 --> 00:45:21,387
Oh, my God!

961
00:45:22,556 --> 00:45:25,458
You look so slutty.

962
00:45:25,459 --> 00:45:26,692
Thanks.

963
00:45:26,694 --> 00:45:29,695
Wow. Okay.

964
00:45:29,697 --> 00:45:31,096
Um...

965
00:45:32,165 --> 00:45:34,199
Maybe this isn't a good idea.

966
00:45:34,201 --> 00:45:35,968
Well... (SIGHS)

967
00:45:35,969 --> 00:45:37,301
What else are we
going to do, Ben?

968
00:45:37,303 --> 00:45:39,537
I don't know.
I don't know.

969
00:45:39,539 --> 00:45:41,072
Are we sure
this is a good plan?

970
00:45:41,074 --> 00:45:44,275
Yeah. It is.
And it's the only one we have,

971
00:45:44,277 --> 00:45:45,676
besides me having
sex with him,

972
00:45:45,678 --> 00:45:48,279
which is not
going to be the plan.

973
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:50,313
No.
You know.

974
00:45:50,315 --> 00:45:52,315
So, I'm going to take care
of him and the guards.

975
00:45:52,317 --> 00:45:55,018
All right.
I'll deal with the wraiths,

976
00:45:55,020 --> 00:45:57,687
and, um, we will use
Mr. Murphy to deal with the perimeter guards.

977
00:45:57,688 --> 00:46:01,590
By 9:00, for sure.
Can you handle him for that long?

978
00:46:01,592 --> 00:46:04,126
Oh, yeah. Totally.
He is so dumb, Ben.

979
00:46:04,128 --> 00:46:05,761
Good.
(EXHALES)

980
00:46:05,763 --> 00:46:07,997
Okay. We can do this.
Right?

981
00:46:07,999 --> 00:46:09,331
Yeah, we can.
Right?

982
00:46:12,301 --> 00:46:15,069
I love you.
I love you.

983
00:46:15,071 --> 00:46:16,337
I'll see you in
a couple of hours.

984
00:46:16,339 --> 00:46:17,505
Okay.

985
00:46:17,507 --> 00:46:19,607
(CAR HORN HONKING)
Awesome.

986
00:46:19,608 --> 00:46:21,041
I love you, Mom.

987
00:46:21,043 --> 00:46:23,510
I love you too, honey.
Have fun. (CHUCKLES)

988
00:46:23,512 --> 00:46:25,112
Call or text if you're
going to be really late.

989
00:46:25,114 --> 00:46:26,079
Yeah.

990
00:46:42,528 --> 00:46:44,062
So when do we leave,
Benjamin Franklin?

991
00:46:44,064 --> 00:46:45,430
Five minutes.

992
00:46:45,432 --> 00:46:46,731
If we run into a problem,
here's what we do...

993
00:46:46,733 --> 00:46:48,433
Let me guess. Knife him?

994
00:46:48,435 --> 00:46:49,667
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, totally.

995
00:46:49,669 --> 00:46:51,169
Stab him in
the fucking gut, right?

996
00:46:51,170 --> 00:46:52,403
Or in the back
of his neck.

997
00:46:52,405 --> 00:46:54,738
(BABBLING)
Can't you guys fucking stop?

998
00:46:54,740 --> 00:46:57,808
This is extremely important,
and you are acting like morons.

999
00:47:03,714 --> 00:47:07,116
Revelations tells us
what's going to happen next.

1000
00:47:07,118 --> 00:47:10,186
Spoiler alert.
Jesus is going to come down on a white horse

1001
00:47:10,188 --> 00:47:12,655
and smite the Antichrist
before God

1002
00:47:12,656 --> 00:47:14,589
sets up his kingdom
here on Earth.

1003
00:47:15,625 --> 00:47:17,526
(CAWING)

1004
00:47:17,528 --> 00:47:21,296
CROW: Blow me!
Assholes! Rim job! Fucker!

1005
00:47:21,298 --> 00:47:23,532
(CROWS CLAMORING)

1006
00:47:33,542 --> 00:47:35,810
THE BEAST:
Who is a sexy Beast?

1007
00:47:35,811 --> 00:47:38,144
I am a sexy Beast

1008
00:47:38,146 --> 00:47:40,313
Who is a sexy Beast?

1009
00:47:40,315 --> 00:47:42,449
I am a sexy Beast

1010
00:47:42,451 --> 00:47:43,683
Who is a sexy...

1011
00:47:43,685 --> 00:47:44,784
Turn the mirror.

1012
00:47:44,785 --> 00:47:47,119
I am a sexy Beast

1013
00:47:47,121 --> 00:47:49,188
Who is a sexy Beast?

1014
00:47:49,190 --> 00:47:50,589
I am a sexy...

1015
00:47:50,591 --> 00:47:53,325
Ooh! You a sexy Beast.

1016
00:47:53,327 --> 00:47:57,129
You a sexy Beast.
Yeah. You a sexy Beast.

1017
00:47:57,130 --> 00:47:58,629
You.
Is that a turn on, turn off?

1018
00:47:58,631 --> 00:48:00,298
That's a turn on, sir.
You like that?

1019
00:48:00,300 --> 00:48:02,133
Fuck yeah.

1020
00:48:02,135 --> 00:48:04,135
I'm going deep tonight.

1021
00:48:04,137 --> 00:48:05,269
I'm going deep tonight.

1022
00:48:05,271 --> 00:48:06,537
Oh, shit.

1023
00:48:06,538 --> 00:48:08,371
You want to do it?
Did that get you wet?

1024
00:48:08,373 --> 00:48:10,140
My pussy's so wet.

1025
00:48:10,142 --> 00:48:11,408
What?

1026
00:48:14,579 --> 00:48:15,812
I didn't say that.

1027
00:48:17,147 --> 00:48:18,414
I didn't say anything.

1028
00:48:40,468 --> 00:48:42,236
THE BEAST: Wow.

1029
00:48:42,238 --> 00:48:44,838
Lindsey, you look...

1030
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:46,707
Look at those titties.

1031
00:48:46,709 --> 00:48:48,375
So lovely.

1032
00:48:48,377 --> 00:48:49,910
Thank you.
Did you, uh...

1033
00:48:52,146 --> 00:48:54,280
(IMITATES RAZOR BUZZING)

1034
00:48:54,282 --> 00:48:56,315
(CLICKS TONGUE)

1035
00:48:56,317 --> 00:48:57,383
Yup.

1036
00:48:57,385 --> 00:48:59,218
Trim bush!

1037
00:48:59,220 --> 00:49:00,386
Aw!

1038
00:49:00,387 --> 00:49:02,254
(IMITATES WHIRRING)

1039
00:49:03,322 --> 00:49:04,589
Sorry?

1040
00:49:04,591 --> 00:49:06,224
That was me
getting an erection.

1041
00:49:06,226 --> 00:49:07,726
Oh.

1042
00:49:07,728 --> 00:49:08,793
That's nice.

1043
00:49:08,795 --> 00:49:11,363
Thank you.
Service it? No!

1044
00:49:11,364 --> 00:49:13,430
Now is the time

1045
00:49:13,432 --> 00:49:14,865
for romance.

1046
00:49:15,867 --> 00:49:17,234
These are from him.

1047
00:49:17,236 --> 00:49:19,236
Carnations.

1048
00:49:19,238 --> 00:49:20,905
(CHUCKLES) Thank you.

1049
00:49:20,907 --> 00:49:22,873
You have such good taste.

1050
00:49:22,874 --> 00:49:24,741
I know.

1051
00:49:24,743 --> 00:49:27,577
Lindsey, I cannot imagine

1052
00:49:27,579 --> 00:49:31,347
a lovelier receptacle
for my evil seed than you.

1053
00:49:32,815 --> 00:49:34,349
So much seed.

1054
00:49:35,485 --> 00:49:36,952
(CHUCKLING)

1055
00:49:38,454 --> 00:49:39,855
(MORGAN BLABBERING)

1056
00:49:39,857 --> 00:49:41,657
Just wait here
for a second.

1057
00:49:43,592 --> 00:49:45,927
If you break his heart,

1058
00:49:45,929 --> 00:49:47,562
I'll be super pissed.

1059
00:49:48,530 --> 00:49:50,331
All right, let's go.

1060
00:49:53,601 --> 00:49:55,569
He will join you
in the parlor.

1061
00:49:58,272 --> 00:49:59,372
(PIANO PLAYING)

1062
00:49:59,374 --> 00:50:00,607
Yup.

1063
00:50:06,546 --> 00:50:09,315
Welcome to where
we are going to do it.

1064
00:50:11,918 --> 00:50:15,521
I want to touch your booty

1065
00:50:15,522 --> 00:50:16,888
All night long

1066
00:50:18,857 --> 00:50:21,392
I want to touch your booty

1067
00:50:22,294 --> 00:50:26,397
And stick my dick
in you, girl

1068
00:50:26,398 --> 00:50:28,699
Stick my
Stick my dick in your

1069
00:50:28,701 --> 00:50:30,634
Stick my dick in your

1070
00:50:30,636 --> 00:50:34,938
Stick my dick in your
yeah, booty

1071
00:50:37,908 --> 00:50:41,277
Hmm, stick my dick
in your booty

1072
00:50:43,313 --> 00:50:44,780
That was so good.

1073
00:50:44,782 --> 00:50:45,948
That was something
I was working on for you.

1074
00:50:45,950 --> 00:50:52,288
Oh! Actually, I would love
to pour this for you, sir.

1075
00:50:52,289 --> 00:50:55,257
Of course, my dear.

1076
00:50:55,259 --> 00:50:57,325
So, you like eggs?

1077
00:50:57,327 --> 00:51:00,028
I fucking love eggs.
They remind me of titties.

1078
00:51:00,029 --> 00:51:01,428
Good to know.

1079
00:51:01,430 --> 00:51:03,297
Chocolate eggs, Easter eggs.

1080
00:51:03,299 --> 00:51:05,266
Any type of eggs.
You put some eggs in that,

1081
00:51:05,268 --> 00:51:07,268
I am eating that shit.
You know what I'm saying?

1082
00:51:07,270 --> 00:51:09,503
Yeah.
I love jelly beans, too.

1083
00:51:09,504 --> 00:51:12,405
But I hate Peeps.
I despise them.

1084
00:51:12,407 --> 00:51:14,574
I'm putting those assholes
out of business. I promise.

1085
00:51:14,576 --> 00:51:15,742
Sure.

1086
00:51:15,744 --> 00:51:17,377
I fucking hate them.

1087
00:51:17,379 --> 00:51:21,281
Put them out of business.
Tomorrow, as a matter of fact.

1088
00:51:21,282 --> 00:51:23,282
Marshmallow ass chicken.

1089
00:51:23,284 --> 00:51:25,484
Feel the power
of the fucking Beast.

1090
00:51:25,486 --> 00:51:26,752
Peepco.

1091
00:51:26,754 --> 00:51:29,588
I kick so much ass
my feet need condoms.

1092
00:51:31,723 --> 00:51:35,826
So, how's the gay boyfriend
taking all of this, my dear?

1093
00:51:36,828 --> 00:51:39,330
You know...

1094
00:51:39,332 --> 00:51:41,799
Badly. Like a bitch.

1095
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:43,400
"Please don't leave me."

1096
00:51:43,402 --> 00:51:47,537
"No. I'm with The Beast now,
tiny, little, tiny boy."

1097
00:51:47,539 --> 00:51:49,372
"But please, I love you."

1098
00:51:49,374 --> 00:51:53,376
"Get away from me with your
chicken baby penis."

1099
00:51:53,377 --> 00:51:55,444
"Oh! Lindsey, please."

1100
00:51:55,446 --> 00:51:56,645
"I want Beast cock."

1101
00:51:56,647 --> 00:51:58,447
"Please." "Beast cock!"

1102
00:51:58,449 --> 00:52:00,449
"Please." "Beast cock!"

1103
00:52:00,451 --> 00:52:01,650
Something like that?

1104
00:52:01,652 --> 00:52:03,352
It was just like that.
(CHUCKLES)

1105
00:52:03,353 --> 00:52:05,386
What can I say?
I'm The Beast.

1106
00:52:05,388 --> 00:52:06,954
I know these things.

1107
00:52:06,956 --> 00:52:08,656
(CLEARS THROAT)

1108
00:52:08,658 --> 00:52:09,991
This is for you.

1109
00:52:09,993 --> 00:52:11,859
Thank you much.
I...

1110
00:52:13,628 --> 00:52:15,862
I feel so silly,
this is so embarrassing.

1111
00:52:15,864 --> 00:52:17,097
What?

1112
00:52:17,099 --> 00:52:19,333
I was hoping that...

1113
00:52:19,335 --> 00:52:20,934
Yes?

1114
00:52:20,936 --> 00:52:23,103
Maybe we could get
all the Beastly Guards in here.

1115
00:52:23,105 --> 00:52:24,604
Freaky.

1116
00:52:24,605 --> 00:52:26,839
Anyway, and have
them come in this room

1117
00:52:26,841 --> 00:52:29,342
and propose
a toast to me, please.

1118
00:52:29,344 --> 00:52:31,510
(SNORTS) I thought
you had a challenge.

1119
00:52:32,779 --> 00:52:34,046
Beastly Guards.

1120
00:52:35,081 --> 00:52:37,382
You will now come to me

1121
00:52:37,384 --> 00:52:40,485
and join me in
toasting your new queen.

1122
00:52:40,487 --> 00:52:42,787
This is Morgan
on the PA system.

1123
00:52:42,789 --> 00:52:45,423
All Beastly Guards
please report to the dining area.

1124
00:52:45,424 --> 00:52:46,990
I'm not drinking
any of that shit.

1125
00:52:46,992 --> 00:52:48,726
SHORT WRAITH:
I tell you one thing. Noxzema...

1126
00:52:50,495 --> 00:52:53,564
Well, well, well.
The prodigal asshole returns.

1127
00:52:53,566 --> 00:52:57,501
Uh, I'm here to make
a delivery to Walt House, the asshole.

1128
00:52:57,502 --> 00:53:00,770
Yeah, well,
you are not on my list.

1129
00:53:00,772 --> 00:53:03,506
He promised me
that I would have no problem getting this in.

1130
00:53:03,508 --> 00:53:05,708
Oh, God, that is so sad.
That's a sad story.

1131
00:53:05,710 --> 00:53:08,478
So, you're just going to be
impossible about this.

1132
00:53:08,479 --> 00:53:10,045
We are. Get your vehicle,

1133
00:53:10,047 --> 00:53:11,813
turn it around
and get the fuck out of here.

1134
00:53:11,815 --> 00:53:13,782
All right. Fine.

1135
00:53:13,784 --> 00:53:15,484
Wait.

1136
00:53:18,387 --> 00:53:20,388
What's that smell?
What smell?

1137
00:53:20,390 --> 00:53:21,956
You know that smell?

1138
00:53:21,958 --> 00:53:24,625
(R & B SONG PLAYING)

1139
00:53:24,627 --> 00:53:25,893
What's happening, bros?

1140
00:53:25,895 --> 00:53:27,962
Do you want some?

1141
00:53:27,963 --> 00:53:29,396
No.

1142
00:53:30,664 --> 00:53:32,432
How much of this
do you have?

1143
00:53:32,434 --> 00:53:33,533
I got a fucking pillow.

1144
00:53:33,535 --> 00:53:36,469
He's got a fucking pillow.

1145
00:53:36,471 --> 00:53:37,637
Come with me.

1146
00:53:37,639 --> 00:53:39,072
Leave the car running.
Come on.

1147
00:53:42,675 --> 00:53:43,609
Come on.

1148
00:53:45,512 --> 00:53:48,514
Come, Beastly Guards.
Get your fat asses in here.

1149
00:53:48,516 --> 00:53:51,650
Drink the nectar of eggs.

1150
00:53:51,651 --> 00:53:53,618
Toast your new queen.

1151
00:53:53,620 --> 00:53:54,852
Make sure everybody gets some.

1152
00:53:54,854 --> 00:53:56,020
Go, go, go.

1153
00:53:56,022 --> 00:53:57,422
(SIGHS)

1154
00:53:59,658 --> 00:54:02,160
To you, my dear.

1155
00:54:02,161 --> 00:54:03,527
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

1156
00:54:03,529 --> 00:54:06,129
God damn it!

1157
00:54:06,131 --> 00:54:08,899
I promised Little Beast
I would go say goodnight.

1158
00:54:08,901 --> 00:54:10,967
He will be crying
all night if I don't.

1159
00:54:10,968 --> 00:54:14,703
Don't you want
the drink, though? It looks so good. I made it.

1160
00:54:14,705 --> 00:54:17,973
Don't worry.
We will fuck soon. Duty calls.

1161
00:54:24,580 --> 00:54:26,681
THE BEAST: Get your fucking
ass into bed, Little Beast!

1162
00:54:26,683 --> 00:54:27,849
No!

1163
00:54:28,818 --> 00:54:30,752
Don't be a dud,
little fucker.

1164
00:54:31,986 --> 00:54:33,587
Kids.

1165
00:54:33,589 --> 00:54:35,589
Did I say anything
that deserves that?

1166
00:54:35,591 --> 00:54:37,758
So much.
What a dud.

1167
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:39,760
That's not a nice thing
to say about your son.

1168
00:54:39,762 --> 00:54:43,530
Oh, my sweet,
protective, mother hen.

1169
00:54:43,531 --> 00:54:47,600
He's still a dud, though.
He won't be like our children.

1170
00:54:47,602 --> 00:54:49,235
Here's a naughty idea.
Let's have sex on his bed right now.

1171
00:54:49,237 --> 00:54:52,638
Let's wait until after dinner.

1172
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:54,106
Of course.
Okay.

1173
00:54:54,107 --> 00:54:55,674
(STOMACH GROWLING)

1174
00:54:55,676 --> 00:54:57,742
I gotta take a poop anyway.

1175
00:54:59,579 --> 00:55:01,780
(GRUNTS) Oh!
This is going to be fantastic.

1176
00:55:03,149 --> 00:55:06,551
TALL WRAITH: Aw!
That's excellent weed, guys.

1177
00:55:06,552 --> 00:55:08,719
Fuck!

1178
00:55:08,721 --> 00:55:10,688
(ALL LAUGHING)

1179
00:55:10,690 --> 00:55:13,257
Are you sure I can't
make that delivery? Really quick.

1180
00:55:13,259 --> 00:55:16,694
Hold on one second. I forgot.
What did you want to do?

1181
00:55:16,695 --> 00:55:18,828
You are so high.
I am.

1182
00:55:21,599 --> 00:55:23,700
What do you think?

1183
00:55:23,702 --> 00:55:25,802
Yes.
Yes?

1184
00:55:25,803 --> 00:55:28,637
No, I think that's a bad idea.

1185
00:55:28,639 --> 00:55:30,806
No, dude, don't be so
fucking paranoid, man.

1186
00:55:30,808 --> 00:55:32,274
Am I being paranoid?

1187
00:55:32,276 --> 00:55:34,142
Yeah, what if it's
a fucking great idea, man?

1188
00:55:34,144 --> 00:55:36,612
That's what I'm saying.
(STAMMERS)

1189
00:55:36,613 --> 00:55:38,212
I'm saying
it's a good idea.

1190
00:55:38,214 --> 00:55:40,681
Get out of here.
Yes. Do it. Just do it.

1191
00:55:40,683 --> 00:55:42,250
Okay.
Do it.

1192
00:55:55,796 --> 00:55:58,999
Do any other wraiths
want to party, man? You should call them up.

1193
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,133
Let's go to highville.
(ALL LAUGH)

1194
00:56:04,304 --> 00:56:05,704
Do you want to
blow up something?

1195
00:56:05,706 --> 00:56:07,039
Let's blow up Helsinki.

1196
00:56:08,241 --> 00:56:09,742
Um.

1197
00:56:09,743 --> 00:56:11,676
Buenos Aires?

1198
00:56:11,678 --> 00:56:13,845
Listen, I want to blow up
the whole world tonight.

1199
00:56:13,847 --> 00:56:15,780
How do you
feel about that? What?

1200
00:56:15,782 --> 00:56:18,850
Kind of.
Ooh. That is sexy.

1201
00:56:18,852 --> 00:56:20,118
It is sexy.

1202
00:56:20,119 --> 00:56:21,184
You're not the girl
I thought you were.

1203
00:56:21,186 --> 00:56:23,186
No.
You little vixen.

1204
00:56:23,188 --> 00:56:24,755
You gonna blow up
the world with me?

1205
00:56:24,757 --> 00:56:27,190
Yeah, I'm going
to do that tonight. (CHUCKLES)

1206
00:56:27,192 --> 00:56:29,726
We are going to
the bust the world up.

1207
00:56:29,728 --> 00:56:31,828
Hell, yeah.
I'm going to bust all over your face.

1208
00:56:31,829 --> 00:56:33,162
Uh-oh.
Was that too much?

1209
00:56:48,077 --> 00:56:49,811
(GRUNTS)

1210
00:56:49,813 --> 00:56:50,812
Are you ready to
cut some grass, Mr. Murphy?

1211
00:56:50,814 --> 00:56:52,647
Yup.

1212
00:56:52,648 --> 00:56:54,281
Now remember,
there is a lot that needs to be cut.

1213
00:56:54,283 --> 00:56:55,583
So don't stop until
you get all of it.

1214
00:56:55,585 --> 00:56:56,650
No.

1215
00:56:56,652 --> 00:56:58,018
And don't let
anybody stop you.

1216
00:56:58,020 --> 00:56:59,153
No.

1217
00:57:00,822 --> 00:57:03,357
You do know how to drive
one of these things, right?

1218
00:57:03,358 --> 00:57:05,124
No.
(ALARM BLARING)

1219
00:57:05,126 --> 00:57:06,893
THE BEASTLY GUARD:
Hey, you! Shit!

1220
00:57:06,895 --> 00:57:08,795
Shit.
All right, just mow.

1221
00:57:09,763 --> 00:57:10,897
(YELLING)

1222
00:57:14,233 --> 00:57:16,168
Ow!

1223
00:57:16,170 --> 00:57:17,302
Fuck.

1224
00:57:22,809 --> 00:57:24,076
(WHINING)

1225
00:57:25,043 --> 00:57:26,811
Use your push mower.

1226
00:57:26,813 --> 00:57:28,746
(IMITATES MOWER MOWING)

1227
00:57:28,748 --> 00:57:29,880
MORGAN: Hey!

1228
00:57:37,922 --> 00:57:39,923
Hey!

1229
00:57:39,925 --> 00:57:41,091
Hey, asshole!

1230
00:57:41,093 --> 00:57:42,859
(IMITATES MOWER MOWING)

1231
00:57:42,861 --> 00:57:45,762
What are you doing?

1232
00:57:45,763 --> 00:57:47,763
I will kill you
with murder!

1233
00:57:47,765 --> 00:57:49,198
I'm just cutting the grass.

1234
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:51,200
All right, take him out.

1235
00:57:51,202 --> 00:57:52,368
(GUNSHOTS)

1236
00:57:56,772 --> 00:57:57,972
How do you like that?

1237
00:57:57,974 --> 00:57:59,107
Ow!

1238
00:58:00,943 --> 00:58:02,810
(THUDS)

1239
00:58:02,812 --> 00:58:03,945
Go check him.

1240
00:58:09,050 --> 00:58:11,318
(LAWN MOWER APPROACHING)

1241
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:15,155
I'm just mowing the lawn here!
I'm mowing the lawn here!

1242
00:58:17,224 --> 00:58:19,125
I need everybody at gate two.
Right away!

1243
00:58:19,127 --> 00:58:21,293
Everybody at gate two!

1244
00:58:21,295 --> 00:58:26,232
I got some sort of undead,
lawnmowing, dead, zombie motherfucker.

1245
00:58:28,134 --> 00:58:29,968
(GUNSHOTS)

1246
00:58:29,970 --> 00:58:31,970
MORGAN: Stop your vehicle!

1247
00:58:31,972 --> 00:58:33,938
(MR. MURPHY YELLING)

1248
00:58:33,940 --> 00:58:35,874
(R & B SONG PLAYING)

1249
00:58:35,876 --> 00:58:39,778
Oh, shh. Shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh. Shh.

1250
00:58:39,779 --> 00:58:41,245
What was that?
Did you guys hear that?

1251
00:58:41,247 --> 00:58:43,914
Dude,
I don't hear anything, man.

1252
00:58:43,916 --> 00:58:45,416
Yeah, dude,
you are being paranoid.

1253
00:58:45,418 --> 00:58:47,918
Am I being paranoid?
Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

1254
00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:49,853
Dude, turn the fucking
music up.

1255
00:58:49,854 --> 00:58:52,188
(VOLUME INCREASES)

1256
00:58:52,190 --> 00:58:53,890
(SINGING)

1257
00:58:58,796 --> 00:59:00,763
Damn, this is good. Shit!

1258
00:59:02,799 --> 00:59:05,300
Nothing like a shrimp
and mushroom omelet, am I right?

1259
00:59:05,302 --> 00:59:07,002
Um...
Where was I, my dear?

1260
00:59:07,004 --> 00:59:08,970
Your ex-wife.

1261
00:59:10,339 --> 00:59:12,774
God, I can't even
believe I did that.

1262
00:59:12,775 --> 00:59:16,777
I was young and stupid
and seduced by a natural blonde.

1263
00:59:16,779 --> 00:59:18,746
Do you know what I mean?
I think I do, yeah.

1264
00:59:18,748 --> 00:59:19,880
Her pubes were blonde.

1265
00:59:19,882 --> 00:59:22,883
My pubes are black.
As you will find out.

1266
00:59:24,952 --> 00:59:26,786
You know
the secret to shrimp is

1267
00:59:26,788 --> 00:59:27,721
to take out
the dark line in the back.

1268
00:59:27,723 --> 00:59:29,823
That's their poo.

1269
00:59:29,825 --> 00:59:32,992
Three to four times a day.
That's why I'm so healthy.

1270
00:59:32,993 --> 00:59:35,794
Good. That's impressive.
I'm glad you told me.

1271
00:59:35,796 --> 00:59:37,329
Thank you.

1272
00:59:37,331 --> 00:59:38,864
Uh...

1273
00:59:38,866 --> 00:59:42,801
Do they have any more
of that eggnog left? I'm so thirsty.

1274
00:59:42,802 --> 00:59:46,904
So, where do you want to go
for our honeymoon?

1275
00:59:46,906 --> 00:59:48,873
Um...

1276
00:59:48,875 --> 00:59:49,874
Not that it matters,
because you'll be getting face fucked

1277
00:59:49,876 --> 00:59:51,843
the whole time,
am I right?

1278
00:59:51,845 --> 00:59:53,511
Hey.

1279
00:59:53,512 --> 00:59:56,480
Let's stay here
and just have intercourse.

1280
00:59:56,482 --> 00:59:57,914
And watch movies.
I love intercourse.

1281
00:59:57,916 --> 01:00:01,184
I love movies.
Are you a Vin Diesel fan?

1282
01:00:01,186 --> 01:00:02,753
I love Vin Diesel.

1283
01:00:02,755 --> 01:00:05,889
Fucking
The Chronicles of Riddick, are you kidding me?

1284
01:00:05,890 --> 01:00:09,358
It's the best.
It's so underrated.

1285
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:11,861
See. You see?

1286
01:00:11,863 --> 01:00:12,928
I do.

1287
01:00:12,930 --> 01:00:13,863
We are connected.

1288
01:00:13,865 --> 01:00:15,197
Right here with you.

1289
01:00:15,198 --> 01:00:16,865
Let's go make
the beast with two backs.

1290
01:00:16,867 --> 01:00:18,800
(CHUCKLES)

1291
01:00:18,802 --> 01:00:21,169
Get it?
The beast with two backs, because I'm The Beast

1292
01:00:21,171 --> 01:00:22,804
and I got a back
and you got a...

1293
01:00:22,806 --> 01:00:24,906
It's not that funny.
Come on, let's go.

1294
01:00:24,908 --> 01:00:27,809
Um, yeah, we could...

1295
01:00:27,810 --> 01:00:29,109
We should...

1296
01:00:29,111 --> 01:00:32,012
We should go to the Jacuzzi.

1297
01:00:33,815 --> 01:00:34,882
Jacuzzi?

1298
01:00:35,917 --> 01:00:37,885
Sounds sexy.

1299
01:00:37,886 --> 01:00:39,786
It's going to be.

1300
01:00:39,788 --> 01:00:41,020
(MUSIC PLAYING)

1301
01:00:41,022 --> 01:00:42,855
What the shit?

1302
01:00:45,492 --> 01:00:47,560
Dude, what the fuck
are they doing?

1303
01:00:47,561 --> 01:00:50,562
I think I saw them
take some 'shrooms, bro. (GUN COCKS)

1304
01:00:50,564 --> 01:00:53,365
What is going on
with your hands?

1305
01:00:53,367 --> 01:00:55,000
(CHUCKLING)

1306
01:00:55,935 --> 01:00:57,202
We should
fucking knife them.

1307
01:00:57,204 --> 01:00:59,304
Fucking knife them?
Yeah.

1308
01:00:59,305 --> 01:01:00,805
Fucking knife
the shit out of them.

1309
01:01:00,807 --> 01:01:02,206
(MR. MURPHY YELLING)
(GUNSHOT)

1310
01:01:02,208 --> 01:01:03,374
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

1311
01:01:03,376 --> 01:01:05,209
MORGAN: Stop your vehicle!

1312
01:01:07,813 --> 01:01:09,413
Oh, shit!

1313
01:01:12,983 --> 01:01:14,951
THE BEAST: Ah!

1314
01:01:14,953 --> 01:01:17,253
If I was a dinosaur,
guess what kind of dinosaur I'd be.

1315
01:01:17,255 --> 01:01:18,421
What?

1316
01:01:18,423 --> 01:01:19,956
A Lickalottapuss.

1317
01:01:19,957 --> 01:01:21,824
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

1318
01:01:21,826 --> 01:01:22,825
Do you get it?

1319
01:01:22,827 --> 01:01:24,526
That's so funny.
I do get it.

1320
01:01:24,528 --> 01:01:26,862
Because I would be
licking your vagina all the time.

1321
01:01:26,864 --> 01:01:28,330
Ohhh.

1322
01:01:28,332 --> 01:01:30,933
What are you
looking for, baby? I'm right here.

1323
01:01:30,934 --> 01:01:33,134
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Um...

1324
01:01:33,136 --> 01:01:35,169
Ben?

1325
01:01:35,171 --> 01:01:37,071
Are you calling
your boyfriend?

1326
01:01:37,073 --> 01:01:38,339
Come on, Ben.

1327
01:01:38,341 --> 01:01:39,974
Baby!

1328
01:01:39,976 --> 01:01:42,109
I thought we had something.

1329
01:01:42,110 --> 01:01:44,311
This hurts.
I thought we had a moment.

1330
01:01:47,582 --> 01:01:49,249
Ben!

1331
01:01:49,251 --> 01:01:51,918
That's cool.
I didn't really like you that much.

1332
01:01:51,919 --> 01:01:52,952
(CHUCKLES) Whatever.

1333
01:01:52,954 --> 01:01:56,055
Okay, Ben, seriously!

1334
01:01:56,057 --> 01:01:57,323
Ben!

1335
01:01:57,325 --> 01:01:59,358
Let her go, Antichrist!

1336
01:02:02,528 --> 01:02:04,295
This is who you
are screaming for?

1337
01:02:04,297 --> 01:02:06,331
This Frodo-looking
motherfucker?

1338
01:02:06,333 --> 01:02:07,866
He even walks gay!

1339
01:02:07,868 --> 01:02:09,968
I'm The Beast, baby!

1340
01:02:09,970 --> 01:02:11,603
Beastly Guards.

1341
01:02:11,605 --> 01:02:14,205
Most of them are
chasing a dead guy on a lawnmower.

1342
01:02:14,206 --> 01:02:16,006
Okay, what does that mean?

1343
01:02:16,975 --> 01:02:19,042
Wraiths, come to me.

1344
01:02:19,044 --> 01:02:20,510
(FAINT R & B MUSIC PLAYING)

1345
01:02:20,512 --> 01:02:22,145
(DISTANT LAUGHTER)

1346
01:02:22,147 --> 01:02:24,181
Fucking useless potheads.

1347
01:02:24,182 --> 01:02:25,915
Just let her go, man.

1348
01:02:25,917 --> 01:02:27,383
Or what?

1349
01:02:27,385 --> 01:02:30,052
Or I will kick your evil ass.

1350
01:02:30,054 --> 01:02:31,087
Baby.

1351
01:02:31,089 --> 01:02:32,989
(CHUCKLES) That's...

1352
01:02:32,991 --> 01:02:35,291
That's a good one.
Hey, I got a good one, too.

1353
01:02:35,292 --> 01:02:37,926
How about you do like this
(SPUTTERS) to my booty-hole.

1354
01:02:37,928 --> 01:02:39,461
I'm warning you, Earl.

1355
01:02:39,463 --> 01:02:43,064
My name is Beast.

1356
01:02:43,066 --> 01:02:46,234
What are you going
to do to me, anyway, huh? What, you going to kill me?

1357
01:02:46,235 --> 01:02:50,037
I'm going to lock
you in a dog kennel.

1358
01:02:50,039 --> 01:02:53,073
I don't even know
how to respond to that.

1359
01:02:53,075 --> 01:02:55,342
But you know what?
Seeing as how I have better things to do,

1360
01:02:55,344 --> 01:02:58,312
like make it
with your lady,

1361
01:02:58,313 --> 01:03:00,680
how about I shoot you?

1362
01:03:00,682 --> 01:03:02,081
No!

1363
01:03:02,083 --> 01:03:03,283
God damn it.

1364
01:03:04,351 --> 01:03:05,952
Back off.
Give me that.

1365
01:03:05,954 --> 01:03:07,053
(YELLS)

1366
01:03:07,054 --> 01:03:08,287
Fuck!

1367
01:03:09,322 --> 01:03:11,189
I killed Jimmy Neutron.

1368
01:03:14,427 --> 01:03:15,560
Baby.

1369
01:03:15,562 --> 01:03:17,562
Back up.
What?

1370
01:03:17,563 --> 01:03:19,230
What are you
going to do, huh?

1371
01:03:19,232 --> 01:03:20,998
You don't want to shoot me.

1372
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:24,068
Unless you want me
to come back as Satan.

1373
01:03:24,070 --> 01:03:26,070
Don't push me. Okay, Earl?

1374
01:03:27,939 --> 01:03:29,539
I'm really sick of this crap.

1375
01:03:29,541 --> 01:03:32,409
And honestly,
you in particular. You are so lame.

1376
01:03:32,411 --> 01:03:34,678
I'm lame?
You're dating Peter Brady.

1377
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:37,180
I've been letting you say
this gross shit to me all night.

1378
01:03:37,182 --> 01:03:41,051
The fact that
anybody is afraid of you is incredible.

1379
01:03:41,052 --> 01:03:43,085
If they knew what a child...

1380
01:03:43,087 --> 01:03:44,720
It doesn't matter,
I will shoot you.

1381
01:03:44,722 --> 01:03:47,423
I will totally shoot you.

1382
01:03:47,425 --> 01:03:48,624
Whatever.

1383
01:03:48,626 --> 01:03:50,025
(GUNSHOT)
(GROANS)

1384
01:03:53,295 --> 01:03:55,196
That's for being an asshole.

1385
01:03:59,969 --> 01:04:02,003
Let's party, baby.

1386
01:04:02,004 --> 01:04:03,236
(GASPS)
(GUNSHOTS)

1387
01:04:03,238 --> 01:04:05,072
Fuck!

1388
01:04:05,074 --> 01:04:06,073
(GROANS)

1389
01:04:12,980 --> 01:04:14,146
See you later, baby.

1390
01:04:17,617 --> 01:04:19,118
Oh, shit.

1391
01:04:20,053 --> 01:04:21,988
Oh! Baby.

1392
01:04:21,989 --> 01:04:24,322
Baby, wake up.
Are you okay? (GROANING)

1393
01:04:24,324 --> 01:04:26,224
Why do I keep
getting hit in the head?

1394
01:04:26,226 --> 01:04:28,326
I don't know.
I'm sorry, baby. I shot him.

1395
01:04:28,328 --> 01:04:30,462
Hmm?
Baby, I killed him.

1396
01:04:30,464 --> 01:04:32,697
Where?
I'm serious. Right here.

1397
01:04:36,568 --> 01:04:38,002
(THE BEAST GROANING)

1398
01:04:38,004 --> 01:04:39,136
(GASPS)

1399
01:04:39,138 --> 01:04:42,072
Fuck. I am unstoppable!

1400
01:04:43,140 --> 01:04:45,241
Ow!

1401
01:04:45,243 --> 01:04:46,509
Now what do we do?

1402
01:04:46,511 --> 01:04:48,678
Just keep killing him.
Until what?

1403
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:50,046
Maybe it will
take at some point.

1404
01:04:50,048 --> 01:04:51,381
Baby, I'm going to
need more guns.

1405
01:04:51,383 --> 01:04:52,715
Okay, I'm on it.

1406
01:04:55,351 --> 01:04:58,286
That really hurts...
Damn! (GUNSHOTS)

1407
01:04:58,288 --> 01:04:59,621
Ben?
Yeah.

1408
01:05:02,325 --> 01:05:04,126
Will you stop shooting...
(GUNSHOTS)

1409
01:05:04,128 --> 01:05:05,260
Fuck you!

1410
01:05:06,695 --> 01:05:09,296
This can't be legal.

1411
01:05:09,298 --> 01:05:10,798
Ben?
Yeah.

1412
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:13,200
I know what you're thinking.
(GUNSHOTS)

1413
01:05:13,202 --> 01:05:15,169
Ow! Bitch!

1414
01:05:15,170 --> 01:05:17,070
Quick question.
(GUNSHOTS)

1415
01:05:17,072 --> 01:05:19,072
I'm getting pretty
good at this, baby. I'm coming!

1416
01:05:20,508 --> 01:05:22,042
Motherfucker!

1417
01:05:25,279 --> 01:05:27,280
(LAUGHING EVILLY)

1418
01:05:32,385 --> 01:05:35,320
What are you
going to do now, fool?

1419
01:05:45,164 --> 01:05:46,631
What time is it?

1420
01:05:50,268 --> 01:05:52,602
You don't seem like the type.

1421
01:05:52,604 --> 01:05:53,804
No.

1422
01:05:55,206 --> 01:05:56,373
No, that won't work either.

1423
01:05:56,375 --> 01:05:59,576
Go to bed, Little Beast.
Little fucker.

1424
01:05:59,577 --> 01:06:01,243
But I have an idea.

1425
01:06:12,721 --> 01:06:14,689
How does this go down?

1426
01:06:14,691 --> 01:06:17,292
I need a screwdriver
or something.

1427
01:06:17,294 --> 01:06:18,593
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

1428
01:06:18,595 --> 01:06:19,727
What is that?

1429
01:06:22,630 --> 01:06:23,831
BEN: It's coming right at us!

1430
01:06:23,833 --> 01:06:25,299
Ben, wait!

1431
01:06:25,301 --> 01:06:26,467
Ben, wait!

1432
01:06:28,303 --> 01:06:29,570
(YELLING)

1433
01:06:30,637 --> 01:06:32,505
(HORSE WHINNYING)

1434
01:06:32,507 --> 01:06:33,773
(THUDS)

1435
01:06:50,289 --> 01:06:52,290
BEN: Oh, no!

1436
01:06:56,495 --> 01:06:58,295
Oh, no.

1437
01:06:58,297 --> 01:07:00,498
This is so bad, baby.

1438
01:07:00,500 --> 01:07:02,299
I didn't know, Linds.

1439
01:07:02,300 --> 01:07:05,301
I thought it was a rock. Fuck.

1440
01:07:05,303 --> 01:07:08,171
This is incredibly bad, Ben!

1441
01:07:08,173 --> 01:07:11,241
Okay, okay.
Can we do CPR? Maybe?

1442
01:07:11,243 --> 01:07:14,644
You laser-beamed him, baby!
I don't think CPR is going to work.

1443
01:07:14,645 --> 01:07:17,312
I can't believe
I did this. Aw!

1444
01:07:17,314 --> 01:07:20,215
How could I have been
so fucking stupid?

1445
01:07:20,217 --> 01:07:21,383
I feel really sick, Ben.

1446
01:07:21,385 --> 01:07:23,352
My dad's right!

1447
01:07:24,253 --> 01:07:25,753
I'm a fucking idiot!

1448
01:07:26,788 --> 01:07:28,422
(LIGHTNING CRACKLING)

1449
01:07:32,528 --> 01:07:34,562
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

1450
01:07:53,847 --> 01:07:55,781
Is that...
What?

1451
01:07:55,783 --> 01:07:57,783
Is that him?

1452
01:07:57,784 --> 01:07:59,517
Idiots!

1453
01:07:59,519 --> 01:08:01,352
What have you done?

1454
01:08:01,354 --> 01:08:03,188
(STUTTERS)

1455
01:08:03,190 --> 01:08:04,722
Um...

1456
01:08:04,724 --> 01:08:06,624
Okay.

1457
01:08:06,625 --> 01:08:08,525
Well.
Yeah.

1458
01:08:08,527 --> 01:08:10,260
Answer me!

1459
01:08:10,262 --> 01:08:15,566
We sort of killed
the Antichrist at first. We did.

1460
01:08:15,568 --> 01:08:18,202
It was not nearly as
hard as you might think.

1461
01:08:18,203 --> 01:08:21,837
Right. Yeah. We just shot him
with a regular gun,

1462
01:08:21,839 --> 01:08:24,407
and then Ben was
hitting him with a shovel.

1463
01:08:24,409 --> 01:08:26,509
Just bonked him.
That was it.

1464
01:08:26,511 --> 01:08:27,710
You barbecued my son.

1465
01:08:28,978 --> 01:08:30,812
I...

1466
01:08:30,814 --> 01:08:32,914
I saw this thing
coming from the sky,

1467
01:08:32,916 --> 01:08:34,983
I had no idea what it was.

1468
01:08:34,985 --> 01:08:36,618
It could have been bad.
He didn't know.

1469
01:08:36,620 --> 01:08:39,921
It could have been bad.
I panicked...

1470
01:08:39,922 --> 01:08:41,989
And I...

1471
01:08:41,991 --> 01:08:45,426
Yeah. I laser-beamed him.
I beamed Jesus. I'm so sorry.

1472
01:08:45,428 --> 01:08:47,428
It was a total accident,
though.

1473
01:08:47,430 --> 01:08:49,396
Yeah, total.

1474
01:08:49,398 --> 01:08:53,934
Do you two have any idea
what you have done here?

1475
01:08:53,935 --> 01:08:56,269
Um...
Well...

1476
01:08:56,271 --> 01:08:57,403
No.

1477
01:08:57,405 --> 01:08:58,972
There was a plan.

1478
01:08:58,974 --> 01:09:02,742
A rather detailed
and specific plan

1479
01:09:02,743 --> 01:09:07,613
involving the final chapter
of all human existence!

1480
01:09:07,615 --> 01:09:11,917
Do you understand
that that plan is completely ruined?

1481
01:09:11,918 --> 01:09:13,017
We didn't mean to.

1482
01:09:13,019 --> 01:09:18,289
We are so just
incredibly sorry, sir.

1483
01:09:18,291 --> 01:09:20,358
It was a gaffe.

1484
01:09:20,360 --> 01:09:22,426
Ugh!
It was a mistake.

1485
01:09:22,427 --> 01:09:23,893
(IMITATES BELL RINGING)

1486
01:09:23,895 --> 01:09:25,262
It's all I needed to hear.

1487
01:09:25,264 --> 01:09:27,764
You're sorry.
I forgive you.

1488
01:09:27,766 --> 01:09:29,799
It's kind of what I do.
(CHUCKLES)

1489
01:09:29,801 --> 01:09:31,434
It's all good.

1490
01:09:31,436 --> 01:09:33,436
We will just start over.
It's no big deal.

1491
01:09:33,437 --> 01:09:35,037
It's not like I spent
a lot of time on this.

1492
01:09:35,039 --> 01:09:37,806
Only 4,000 fucking years!

1493
01:09:37,808 --> 01:09:39,475
You proud of yourselves?

1494
01:09:39,477 --> 01:09:41,543
You pathetic little shits.

1495
01:09:42,812 --> 01:09:45,414
Fuck you, dude!

1496
01:09:45,415 --> 01:09:47,782
Don't, no.

1497
01:09:47,784 --> 01:09:49,751
You don't have to be so mean.
I'm sorry,

1498
01:09:49,753 --> 01:09:52,887
but you don't
have to be so mean.

1499
01:09:52,889 --> 01:09:54,889
What did you say, whore?

1500
01:09:54,890 --> 01:09:58,325
You heard me, man.
I said, "Fuck you." You are being a dick.

1501
01:09:58,327 --> 01:09:59,359
(SOFTLY) Not to God.

1502
01:09:59,361 --> 01:10:01,595
You're a dick!

1503
01:10:01,597 --> 01:10:04,631
You're like a bug to me!

1504
01:10:04,632 --> 01:10:06,299
You made her.

1505
01:10:06,301 --> 01:10:08,668
Yeah. Good call, baby.

1506
01:10:08,670 --> 01:10:10,303
(MOCKINGLY)
"You made her, so..."

1507
01:10:10,305 --> 01:10:11,737
He doesn't talk like that.
I'm not Southern.

1508
01:10:11,739 --> 01:10:14,940
You talk exactly
like that, Ben! That is how I made you!

1509
01:10:14,942 --> 01:10:16,809
He doesn't have
a pinched nose. What is that?

1510
01:10:16,810 --> 01:10:17,976
You sound exactly
like that.

1511
01:10:17,978 --> 01:10:19,344
No, I don't.

1512
01:10:19,346 --> 01:10:21,413
Give me that sweater.
Don't do it.

1513
01:10:21,415 --> 01:10:22,981
Just give me
the fucking sweater!

1514
01:10:22,983 --> 01:10:24,516
Because I'm fucking God.
Give it to me.

1515
01:10:24,518 --> 01:10:25,884
Don't do it, baby.
Do it!

1516
01:10:25,886 --> 01:10:27,485
Don't, he has a jacket.
Don't.

1517
01:10:27,486 --> 01:10:28,986
I want a sweater!

1518
01:10:29,421 --> 01:10:30,587
God, wait.

1519
01:10:30,589 --> 01:10:32,323
Look behind you.

1520
01:10:32,325 --> 01:10:34,325
You actually expect me
to fall for that trick? (CHUCKLES)

1521
01:10:34,327 --> 01:10:35,793
No, no, it's not a trick.

1522
01:10:35,795 --> 01:10:38,829
"It's not a trick."
You're so stupid.

1523
01:10:38,830 --> 01:10:40,330
Argh!

1524
01:10:40,332 --> 01:10:43,333
Oh! Earl!
What the fuck, man!

1525
01:10:43,335 --> 01:10:45,101
That's right, big boy!

1526
01:10:45,103 --> 01:10:47,036
This isn't about you, Earl.
Okay?

1527
01:10:47,038 --> 01:10:49,005
Oh, it's all about me.

1528
01:10:49,006 --> 01:10:52,040
And my official name
is Satan.

1529
01:10:52,042 --> 01:10:53,809
So, none of this
"Earl" bullshit.

1530
01:10:53,811 --> 01:10:55,644
Okay, let me smite
these fuckers down

1531
01:10:55,646 --> 01:10:57,412
and then we can talk.
All right?

1532
01:10:57,414 --> 01:11:00,515
Do you think I want to talk?
No, no, no.

1533
01:11:00,516 --> 01:11:05,619
All I want to do is
kick your candy ass.

1534
01:11:05,621 --> 01:11:07,488
What the fuck
did you say?

1535
01:11:07,490 --> 01:11:08,956
You want to go,
Fat Prince?

1536
01:11:08,957 --> 01:11:11,991
Let's do it.
Thou shalt whoop your ass!

1537
01:11:13,627 --> 01:11:15,362
It's on.

1538
01:11:15,364 --> 01:11:17,464
(GRUNTING)

1539
01:11:17,466 --> 01:11:18,631
Ow!

1540
01:11:18,633 --> 01:11:19,799
Come on, bitch.

1541
01:11:19,800 --> 01:11:21,400
That's all you got?

1542
01:11:21,402 --> 01:11:23,669
You want some? Happy Meal?
Happy Meal...

1543
01:11:25,372 --> 01:11:26,538
You like that?

1544
01:11:28,875 --> 01:11:30,142
Whoo-hoo!

1545
01:11:30,144 --> 01:11:31,977
Bitch.

1546
01:11:31,978 --> 01:11:33,945
Time-out?
No, you're fresh out of time-outs, bitch.

1547
01:11:36,148 --> 01:11:37,382
Who are we rooting for?

1548
01:11:37,384 --> 01:11:38,549
They both want to kill us.

1549
01:11:38,551 --> 01:11:39,684
Right.

1550
01:11:40,753 --> 01:11:42,019
Revelations, bitch!

1551
01:11:42,020 --> 01:11:46,590
It is a pretty unusual
thing to be watching, when you think about it.

1552
01:11:46,592 --> 01:11:48,125
Yeah!
You win.

1553
01:11:49,727 --> 01:11:50,894
Ow!

1554
01:11:54,132 --> 01:11:58,067
THE BEAST: Get the fuck
off me, Tattoo!

1555
01:11:58,069 --> 01:12:01,804
Who the fuck do you think
you're fucking with? Abraham?

1556
01:12:01,806 --> 01:12:04,940
I am the Lord!

1557
01:12:04,941 --> 01:12:06,040
(CRUNCHING)
Ow!

1558
01:12:06,042 --> 01:12:08,109
Suffer!

1559
01:12:08,111 --> 01:12:09,611
Not me, you little fucker!

1560
01:12:12,782 --> 01:12:14,816
I'm gonna fuck your shit up!

1561
01:12:15,884 --> 01:12:17,451
Come on, Confucius.

1562
01:12:18,553 --> 01:12:20,754
I'm gonna bottle you,
motherfucker.

1563
01:12:22,490 --> 01:12:23,824
I'm gonna fuck you up.

1564
01:12:23,826 --> 01:12:25,826
Argh!

1565
01:12:25,827 --> 01:12:27,126
(YELLING)

1566
01:12:30,798 --> 01:12:32,865
Fuck you, Earl!

1567
01:12:32,867 --> 01:12:34,600
Almighty, my ass!

1568
01:12:35,568 --> 01:12:37,002
You are a terrible father!

1569
01:12:37,004 --> 01:12:39,471
You are one to talk.
Touche!

1570
01:12:39,473 --> 01:12:40,705
Earl...

1571
01:12:40,707 --> 01:12:42,808
My name is Satan!

1572
01:12:42,810 --> 01:12:44,976
I had enough of this shit!

1573
01:12:44,978 --> 01:12:46,545
(CRACKLING)

1574
01:12:51,216 --> 01:12:52,750
Shit!

1575
01:13:11,067 --> 01:13:12,601
(EXHALES)

1576
01:13:13,903 --> 01:13:15,504
BEN: Wow.

1577
01:13:15,506 --> 01:13:17,639
(SIGHS)

1578
01:13:17,640 --> 01:13:21,843
I definitely didn't think
that was possible. Right?

1579
01:13:21,845 --> 01:13:24,745
You would have
thought that God would have seen that coming.

1580
01:13:24,747 --> 01:13:26,981
Yeah. Maybe he did?

1581
01:13:26,983 --> 01:13:29,550
His plan was to get
electrocuted in a Jacuzzi?

1582
01:13:29,551 --> 01:13:33,653
Most of it didn't make
a lot of sense to me, so it's possible.

1583
01:13:34,956 --> 01:13:36,623
(MR. MURPHY GRUMBLING)

1584
01:13:42,262 --> 01:13:43,496
(PANTS)

1585
01:13:43,498 --> 01:13:46,031
They shot at me!

1586
01:13:46,033 --> 01:13:48,667
You fucking idiots!

1587
01:13:48,669 --> 01:13:50,669
I should spank you both!

1588
01:13:50,670 --> 01:13:52,203
Wow! You did it!

1589
01:13:53,572 --> 01:13:54,739
You killed him.

1590
01:13:55,808 --> 01:13:57,809
I knew you could do it.
No, you didn't.

1591
01:13:57,811 --> 01:14:00,645
You just had to
apply yourself, Benjamin. That's all.

1592
01:14:00,646 --> 01:14:05,816
You're not a loser anymore!
Good for you.

1593
01:14:05,818 --> 01:14:07,985
And who's that right there?
Is that...

1594
01:14:07,987 --> 01:14:09,553
Yeah.

1595
01:14:09,555 --> 01:14:11,655
He's tiny, huh?

1596
01:14:11,656 --> 01:14:13,689
So...

1597
01:14:13,691 --> 01:14:14,991
Wow.

1598
01:14:14,993 --> 01:14:17,059
I mean, huh, right?

1599
01:14:17,061 --> 01:14:18,561
A lot of questions.

1600
01:14:18,563 --> 01:14:20,563
MORGAN: There he is!
Dead zombie motherfucker.

1601
01:14:20,565 --> 01:14:22,665
Stop that fucking
lawnmower!

1602
01:14:22,666 --> 01:14:23,999
Stop it!

1603
01:14:32,241 --> 01:14:34,175
What the fuck?

1604
01:14:34,176 --> 01:14:35,809
You killed him?

1605
01:14:41,182 --> 01:14:42,850
Oh, thank God.

1606
01:14:42,852 --> 01:14:44,585
It's over.
Right.

1607
01:14:44,586 --> 01:14:47,620
We did it! We killed him!
(SIGHS)

1608
01:14:47,622 --> 01:14:50,690
No more beatings.
No more rapings.

1609
01:14:51,692 --> 01:14:52,992
(SIGHS)

1610
01:14:54,027 --> 01:14:56,695
I guess that means
I'm in charge.

1611
01:14:56,697 --> 01:14:59,264
I wouldn't take that leap.
That's a big leap.

1612
01:14:59,266 --> 01:15:01,567
I'm the leader of the world.

1613
01:15:01,569 --> 01:15:02,968
Bow down before me!

1614
01:15:02,970 --> 01:15:04,102
No.

1615
01:15:04,104 --> 01:15:05,704
MR. HOUSE: What? No.

1616
01:15:05,705 --> 01:15:07,939
How come all of a sudden
you're in charge?

1617
01:15:07,941 --> 01:15:10,041
There's as much
reason for me to be in charge as for you.

1618
01:15:10,043 --> 01:15:13,277
You? Fuck, no!
He thought you were the pool guy.

1619
01:15:13,279 --> 01:15:15,012
He used to rape you.

1620
01:15:15,014 --> 01:15:18,583
You have a massive head wound.
That is a brain injury.

1621
01:15:18,584 --> 01:15:19,649
So what?

1622
01:15:19,651 --> 01:15:20,850
You look like a jerk.

1623
01:15:20,852 --> 01:15:22,118
You guys. Um...
(CLEARS THROAT)

1624
01:15:22,120 --> 01:15:23,753
Look at your mustache.

1625
01:15:23,755 --> 01:15:25,956
Most world rulers
look like jerks. Who cares? What?

1626
01:15:25,958 --> 01:15:27,757
You guys, um...

1627
01:15:27,758 --> 01:15:33,062
Um, I just feel like,
probably, nobody is in charge.

1628
01:15:33,064 --> 01:15:34,930
Or, well...

1629
01:15:34,932 --> 01:15:36,732
Everybody's in charge.
Everybody's in charge.

1630
01:15:36,734 --> 01:15:38,867
So, it's a good thing.
Uh...

1631
01:15:38,868 --> 01:15:40,735
We're all in charge.

1632
01:15:40,737 --> 01:15:43,638
We can be grown-ups.

1633
01:15:43,640 --> 01:15:45,239
Everybody okay
with that? Yeah.

1634
01:15:45,241 --> 01:15:47,241
You are definitely
not in charge, though.

1635
01:15:47,243 --> 01:15:51,112
So what do we do now?

1636
01:15:51,113 --> 01:15:53,680
Just live.

1637
01:15:53,682 --> 01:15:55,983
That's what we're gonna do.

1638
01:15:55,985 --> 01:15:57,351
Right?
That's deep, baby.

1639
01:15:57,353 --> 01:15:58,752
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

1640
01:15:58,753 --> 01:16:00,119
Yeah.

1641
01:16:00,121 --> 01:16:02,755
Just live.

1642
01:16:02,757 --> 01:16:05,224
Let's go make out.
All right.

1643
01:16:05,226 --> 01:16:06,959
You kids be safe.

1644
01:16:08,061 --> 01:16:10,696
We're gonna live.

1645
01:16:10,697 --> 01:16:12,764
Yeah. I might, uh...

1646
01:16:12,766 --> 01:16:14,299
I might go back to school.

1647
01:16:14,301 --> 01:16:15,634
MR. HOUSE: Yeah!
Yeah.

1648
01:16:15,636 --> 01:16:18,803
I never went to college.
(CHUCKLES)

1649
01:16:18,805 --> 01:16:20,972
I know. I know.

1650
01:16:20,973 --> 01:16:23,374
It's over.

1651
01:16:23,376 --> 01:16:25,342
(CHUCKLING) Okay!

1652
01:16:25,344 --> 01:16:27,077
It's so nice to be held.

1653
01:16:28,246 --> 01:16:30,681
Okay. Okay.

1654
01:16:30,682 --> 01:16:32,715
Oh, you're so strong.
Okay.

1655
01:16:34,284 --> 01:16:36,653
I like those big arms.

1656
01:16:36,655 --> 01:16:38,421
Don't make this into
something it's not. Okay?

1657
01:16:38,423 --> 01:16:39,689
Huh?
Don't make this into something it's not.

1658
01:16:39,691 --> 01:16:40,990
You didn't feel
anything there?

1659
01:16:40,992 --> 01:16:42,825
No. Let's just live.

1660
01:16:42,826 --> 01:16:44,793
Live our lives.
Right.

1661
01:16:44,795 --> 01:16:46,795
All right.
Okay.

1662
01:16:46,797 --> 01:16:48,830
I thought with the mustache
and everything, you...

1663
01:16:48,832 --> 01:16:50,065
No.

1664
01:16:50,067 --> 01:16:51,266
No.

1665
01:16:51,268 --> 01:16:52,668
You're sending
a real message there.

1666
01:16:52,669 --> 01:16:53,868
No.

1667
01:16:53,870 --> 01:16:55,770
"Put a dick in here."

1668
01:17:05,246 --> 01:17:07,180
Ohhh.

1669
01:17:07,182 --> 01:17:08,348
Look at that.

1670
01:17:08,350 --> 01:17:10,383
Look at that.
Hmm.

1671
01:17:10,385 --> 01:17:12,285
Life goes on, man.

1672
01:17:12,287 --> 01:17:13,720
Ohhh!

1673
01:17:13,721 --> 01:17:15,154
Life goes on.

1674
01:17:18,758 --> 01:17:21,760
LINDSEY:  After that night,
things went back to normal.

1675
01:17:21,762 --> 01:17:24,329
Good Sandwiches went
from a smashed lunch cart

1676
01:17:24,330 --> 01:17:26,264
to a popular
lunch destination.

1677
01:17:27,366 --> 01:17:28,800
Overall, I'd have to say

1678
01:17:28,802 --> 01:17:33,337
the future looks really,
really bright.

1679
01:17:33,339 --> 01:17:36,874
Okay, that sounded
really corny, but...

1680
01:17:36,875 --> 01:17:39,876
Whatever. I killed God
and the Antichrist, man.

1681
01:17:39,878 --> 01:17:42,212
I'll do whatever I want.

1682
01:17:42,214 --> 01:17:44,781
The rocks stopped
falling out of the sky.

1683
01:17:44,783 --> 01:17:46,383
The wraiths were still around,

1684
01:17:46,384 --> 01:17:50,152
but Mom made some new friends
and calmed down a little bit.

1685
01:17:50,154 --> 01:17:54,123
If you guys are hungry later,
I made an amazing pot of beans last night.

1686
01:17:54,125 --> 01:17:56,125
It's, um... They've been
hanging out in a Crock-Pot

1687
01:17:56,127 --> 01:17:58,861
for almost 12
hours at a low setting,

1688
01:17:58,862 --> 01:18:00,095
and I'll tell you what,

1689
01:18:00,097 --> 01:18:03,865
I soaked those
guys overnight, and, uh...

1690
01:18:10,038 --> 01:18:11,839
It's better than
the quick soak.

1691
01:18:11,841 --> 01:18:13,273
Some things didn't
go back like before.

1692
01:18:13,275 --> 01:18:16,043
Like Mr. Murphy.
Still dead... Undead.

1693
01:18:16,045 --> 01:18:18,212
But Ben and I stole
his lawnmower back for him.

1694
01:18:18,213 --> 01:18:21,247
He loves it.
Doesn't seem to notice we broke the motor, either.

1695
01:18:21,249 --> 01:18:25,351
This used to be
the Devil's mansion! It's ours now!

1696
01:18:25,353 --> 01:18:26,886
(LAUGHS)

1697
01:18:26,888 --> 01:18:28,788
Ben's dad now lives
at The Beast's mansion.

1698
01:18:28,789 --> 01:18:31,456
I'm not sure that he should,
but who's gonna kick him out?

1699
01:18:31,458 --> 01:18:33,358
(GUNSHOT)
(ALL GASP)

1700
01:18:33,360 --> 01:18:37,262
I put PCP in the salsa!
(CHUCKLES)

1701
01:18:37,264 --> 01:18:40,932
This is gonna
get fucking crazy!

1702
01:18:40,933 --> 01:18:42,166
Fucking crazy!

1703
01:18:42,168 --> 01:18:44,468
Hey, hey, hey! Hey! Hey!

1704
01:18:44,470 --> 01:18:46,937
Let's go to Mexico!

1705
01:18:47,373 --> 01:18:50,274
(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)