Subtitles By : Robin808
Okay, come a little closer. Tilt your head away.
All right, hold your position.
- I can't go till the end of the month. - Really? That's too bad.
- They might be over by then. - I know.
New York magazine made a list where they're the best.
I read that.
Rebecca, you gonna see the leaves? The leaves.
Upstate? They change colour?
No.
Apologise for the smell.
We cracked some of the windows, but it still has that odour.
Oh, it's fine.
My mom was always cold, so...
Most of the windows were actually painted shut.
Yeah.
So this stuff, it doesn't match...
...but it's no stains, good condition.
This stuff is all upholstered.
- How old? - It's antique. Era pieces.
It's pretty dreary.
Checking the springs, they feel loose.
Okay.
You don't buy the little stuff, right?
Like clothes and jewellery, knickknacks?
No, we just... Just furniture and artwork.
- Sometimes pottery. - It's best to just get rid of this stuff...
...like this, all at once, right?
Yeah. Well, yeah...
I mean, it's probably junk. I'm a busy person.
You shouldn't concern yourself with that.
Yeah, I'll probably get rid of something priceless like this...
...and not even know it, right? - No, I don't think so.
- So are you gonna keep this place? - No, no.
- I like the suburbs. - Yeah.
Well, it's definitely big for the city.
- If you like the city. - Right. Yeah.
It's a table, wood, oval...
- Hi. - Hi.
It's weirdly hot today, huh?
Well, I work inside.
You have to go outside to get to work...
...and then go outside to leave work.
- How's your grandmother? - She's great. She's doing really well.
Good.
Why does she hate us so much? What did we ever do to her?
She sees you, she sees death. You're a vulture.
Us buying that apartment has absolutely no downside.
Her grandmother gets to live there, we're not hovering.
- You're a saint. - Oh, God, it's just so sad.
- What? - The old lady.
Andra, I mean. Does she ever even go outside?
- What's so fun outside? - The world, honey? Life?
- Maybe she's perfectly happy. - Oh, no.
You just say that to rationalise not feeling bad for her.
Why do I have to feel bad for her?
- She's at the end of her life. - That's not my fault.
Oh, God.
- Hey, my zit medicine isn't working. - You won't use what I tell you.
So I deserve it?
- I'm just trying to help you. - Well, don't help me.
I don't know why you don't go to Associated.
You do know.
If it was your money, you'd walk the extra five blocks.
Yeah, well, it's 10 blocks. And no, I wouldn't.
When my feet get better, I'll do it myself.
Oscar-winning actor George Clooney has it all. I mean, looks, charm...
So, Grandma, what do you wanna do for your birthday, huh?
Mary and I will take you out.
- Mary? - Sure. She's just been really busy.
- Professional baseball team?
U Useless, but fascinating, celebrity facts.
George was born on May 6th, 1961 in Lexington, Kentucky.
His father, Nick, is a TV newscaster, his mother a...
- Hi. - Hi.
Okay, could you please tell me what a medallion is?
- It's, like, when you win something. - These look like shit pellets.
- You want one? - Sure. Thanks.
You should've seen what she was wearing today.
It was this backless dress. And man, does she have a big back.
Like a dude, you know?
You know, Mary, it's weird, the way you watch her.
I don't watch her, I walk by her store...
...and I can see what she's wearing.
What are we gonna do for Grandma's birthday?
Oh, whatever. When is she gonna croak already?
Come on, Mary, what if somebody said something like that about you?
They probably already have.
I think I'm gonna buy her a nightgown.
- How much? - I don't know.
- She's just got this ratty old thing. - I'll write you a cheque.
Hey, you know the neighbours?
They look at me, like, "Is she dead yet?"
Why shouldn't they?
- Because it's wrong. - You think if they didn't buy...
...her apartment she wouldn't die? What's the difference?
- I like this texture. Yeah. - Yeah? It's comfortable?
- Kind of stiff. - Really?
Yeah.
- Handsome, isn't it? - Yeah.
- Gorgeous. - Yeah.
We just redid the cushions...
...but we found some original fabric on the web.
A whole bolt.
How much?
- Let me check. - Okay.
What's wrong with that piece?
- Not comfortable. - Let's take it off the floor, then.
It's surprisingly comfortable. Have another seat. Sit in it for a bit.
- Why did you do that? - He might think it's comfortable.
- That's not possible. - You don't know that.
It's 12.
It's 1200 dollars.
- Wanna hold it? - No, gonna think about it.
- Okay. Hi, hon. - Hey.
Did you guys look at that one? That doesn't have any arms.
Hi, honey.
I saw some jeans I want.
Really? What for?
They're cute.
- How much? - Two.
- Two hundred dollars? - That's what you spend.
I'm a grown-up.
That makes no sense. It's what jeans cost.
Abby, I am not spending $200 on a pair of jeans...
...for my teenage daughter when there are 45 homeless people on our street.
What does that have to do with anything?
- Abby. - Hi, honey.
- You look so pretty. - Right.
- Hey, what did you do this weekend? - My wife and I drove up to Woodstock.
- Were they gorgeous? - Oh, incredible.
I mean, the kids didn't care, but we loved it.
Rebecca, you gonna go see the leaves?
- No. I don't think so. - Well, you should.
They're spectacular. And they're just about to end.
You know what, next time we go, we'll invite you to come with us.
Okay. Thank you. Thanks.
So it says here that you were born in New York.
Yes, in the village.
Do you think that's good, growing up in the city?
Yeah, I do. I mean...
I saw a lot of things I probably shouldn't have...
...but it got me to grow up fast.
And I was really independent, which, in some ways, is good.
I think it's an awful place to raise kids.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's filthy, crime-ridden, noisy. And it's only getting worse.
Well, that's definitely true too.
Yeah.
You know, it's funny, you said, you know, in your questionnaire...
...that you had brown hair.
Yeah.
It's actually more of a dark brown.
I think it's brown.
No, I wouldn't call it brown. It's almost black.
Yeah, but it's brown. I mean, I didn't lie.
It's very dark brown.
Working a lot. We're in the middle of second season.
And, you know, just working hard and hoping...
Are you attracted to her?
Humour me.
- She's gonna hit the wall. - Hit the wall.
Yeah.
Not gonna look good when she gets older.
What do you mean, like, 27?
- More like 30. - How nice.
Howard Stern trimmed his pubes today.
He doesn't want his penis hairs to be longer than his penis.
Fucking Howard.
You know, you used to read books.
- Well, magazines. - Please don't wreck my fun.
Will you rub my feet, please?
Jesus. How'd this one get all mangled?
Your one toe is completely horizontal.
Like I don't know that.
Go the other way, buddy. Turn around, it's not too late.
I like it.
Bullshit.
Wow, you have beautiful hair.
I let it go grey when I was 40. Why fake it?
Some people say it makes you look older.
You know, that's probably true.
I didn't like the idea of chemicals on my head.
And I didn't like the colour everybody ended up with.
- Menopausal red, I used to call it. - Right.
I know what you mean.
That's what my grandma has.
- How old is she? - She's going to be 91 this week.
Okay. Just a little bit of compression.
Hold your position for me. Try not to breathe.
Eugene.
Eugene, honey.
This is Rebecca. Rebecca, this is my grandson. An angel.
- Hi. - Hi.
- So can you see it? - What?
My halo.
- Nice meeting you. - You too.
What was that?
A hundred milligrams of sodium? You shouldn't buy that stuff.
- You should cook them separately. - Same difference.
- No, I think it takes longer. - This is a fascinating conversation.
- Did you...? Hey, did you lay out today? - Booth.
Mary, that's so bad for you. You, of all people, should know that.
I'm very careful. It's better than natural rays.
No.
- You could use some colour. - I don't want cancer.
Blush doesn't give you cancer.
- Who is it? - It's Alex from next door.
Andra, we're just going to the drugstore. Is there anything...?
Hi, we're just going to the drugstore.
Would you like us to get you anything while we're there?
- Hi, Andra. - Perfect.
I hope you're not going to Windsor. They're crooks.
- Metro. Metro. Metro Drugs. - We're going to Metro.
- Yeah. - It's better.
You gained weight.
- Excuse me? - You gained weight.
Thank you.
- What? - Thank you!
- Be right back. - See you.
Jesus Christ.
Look at what she needs. She has to take a crap.
She's old.
All those hairs on her chin. You know, those thick black ones?
And all up in her schnozy.
I have hairs on my chin.
She's gonna be 91.
I know. It's unbelievable. Who would have thought?
We should have bought that apartment from that guy downstairs.
- Who? - The guy right below us.
You know, Martin somebody. He was only 79.
- That asshole died? - Yeah.
No, the whole two-storey thing would have been too much money.
Here you go.
- Thank you, honey. - You're welcome.
Alex. Alex.
What?
Right over there on the other side of the white table, please.
A little bit over. Perfect, perfect. Thank you.
This is gorgeous. My God.
I think she kept it in plastic for, like, 50 years.
- Nice work, killer. - Thanks.
- What is that? - I'm not sure.
Just take the top right on the base there.
That is gorgeous.
Holy cow. Look at this.
What do we ask for that? Four?
More. Five?
Six, seven. Eight.
Oh, I feel so guilty.
- Who sent us this? - We got that for Andra.
It's her birthday. I thought we'd have her over.
- You're joking. - I'm not.
And her miserable granddaughters, as well.
Sounds like a gas.
I don't wanna have bad vibes right next door to us.
I feel terrible.
Hey. You know who I heard had some great stuff? The dead guy.
- Downstairs? - Yeah.
- Let's go. - So sorry to hear about your dad.
Well, he was sick.
- He was old. - Yeah.
We got the number from the super. I hope that's okay.
- No, that's fine. - Good.
I don't know if you're gonna want any of these things, though.
I think there are definitely some pieces we could use.
Yeah?
It's so old-fashioned. I didn't think anybody wanted this stuff anymore.
Well, I guess you knew him. You knew my Dad?
He lived in the building a long time.
- Yeah, he was a very nice man. - Martin was lovely.
- Yeah. - Lovely man.
So, what are you gonna do with the apartment?
Oh, the neighbours bought it. I think they wanna break through.
They're probably celebrating over there.
- No. - No.
How much did they pay?
What?
I'm so sorry. That was rude.
Kate. Jesus.
I'm very sorry. I'm...
This guy would throw away our mail if it was put in his box by mistake.
Are you sure he knew who we were?
Of course he knew who we were. He didn't give a crap.
Oh, my God. That's where all my magazines went.
It's his fault that I watch so much television.
Now he's dead, so you can go back to reading magazines.
You know what, I wish that your grandpa was still alive...
...so that you could hang out with him like that.
I think that's his dad.
- That guy's... That guy's old. - You're old.
Yeah, but I don't... I don't look...
I don't look like that.
- Will you wrap this up, please? - Do I look like that?
- You got it. - Thanks.
- Do we have any Pepto? - I don't know.
I don't know if that place is as good as we think.
Well, I don't think it's known for burgers. Wait a second.
Excuse me, sir.
Are you hungry? Would you like this?
I'm waiting for a table.
I'm sorry. I really am.
- I'm so sorry. - I'm so sorry. Really.
- Please forgive me. - We're very sorry.
- Are you out of your mind? - He looked homeless.
He looked like a black man waiting for a table.
- Hey. - Hey.
- You do your grandma's laundry? - Yep.
- Is it gross? - What do you mean?
Like, old-lady underwear.
- I don't really look. - Good idea.
So I heard you guys are coming over later.
Yep.
- Cool. - Yeah.
Hey, ladies.
Gorgeous day.
Going to see the leaves.
See you.
The leaves. What is with these people?
- I know. - Who gives a shit?
- I don't. - Really.
Can I help you?
You shouldn't charge so much for jeans.
Here. I'll do it.
When I get my eyes fixed I'll be able to do it myself.
Grandma, you've got nothing to drink in this place.
- Who's talking? - It's Mary. She's looking for alcohol.
- This place is filthy. - Hey, I clean it.
This has botulism.
Why exactly are we going there?
So they can poison Grandma and demolish her apartment.
Then let's make it fast.
Here.
What's this?
It's your birthday present from the two of us.
Go on, open it.
I got it.
Now, okay. Here.
Too fancy.
Yeah, well, do you like it? I mean, look at it. Here.
What am I gonna do with this?
- Sleep in it. - Say thank you, Grandma.
- I did. - No. Actually you didn't.
Look, it's okay. It's just...
I thought that since yours is so old that...
I'll save it for a special occasion.
What special occasion might that be?
Too fancy to sleep in. That's all.
Come on in. Welcome.
- What's that smell? - It's a little cramped in here.
Grandma. Jesus.
- I smell something burnt. - Oh, you do?
Everyone can hear you. Sorry. She's so rude. You should smell her place.
My place doesn't smell.
Piss and mould have no odour. What was I thinking?
Mary.
Anyway, happy birthday, Andra.
- Can I get you something to drink? - Do you have any bourbon?
I think we do have bourbon.
Hi. I'm Alex.
- I'm Mary. Nice to meet you. - Hi.
- Hi, Mary. Where'd you get that tan? - Oh, you know.
- She lies on a tanning bed. - I go to the Sheep's Meadow.
- She lies on a tanning bed. - And I go to Sheep's Meadow.
- Looks nice either way. - Thank you.
Abby. Take those things off, please.
We have company.
What are you doing in here?
I don't understand that.
I'm not going out there with this thing on my nose.
- You can't see it. Come out, please. - See it?
Mom, it's swallowing my whole face. How can you not see it?
I tell you not to eat those French fries and greasy foods.
- It makes no difference. - Please come and join us, Abby.
You look fine.
Okay, I'm just... Let me just explain it to you...
...so you understand. You know I'm not crazy.
- If she were younger than me... - She is younger than you.
If she were prettier than me, I'd understand, but she's not.
She's got this tan, totally sprayed on, I would know.
But the worst part is her back.
- What about her back? - It's muscular. All built-up.
- And she wears these skimpy tops. - It's no good.
- No good. - It's a big problem.
A big back is not good.
Oh, come on, enough about the poor girl's back.
- Are you still in love with him? - He broke up with her.
- No, that's not how it went down. - Yes, it is.
I don't understand. How is it that you get to see her?
Well, she works in a store near where Mary works.
- And what do you do, Mary? - I work at a spa.
It's called Skintology.
- I do facials. - Oh, how nice.
What is it that you do, Rebecca?
Oh, I administer mammograms. I'm a radiology technician.
- But you're not a doctor. - No, I'm not a doctor.
But it's... But you're not a doctor either.
I never said I was.
- Is it interesting? - Well, if you like boobs, it is.
Well, you pop blackheads for a living, so...
- What's the matter with boobs? - Nothing.
Why are we talking like that?
So is it interesting?
I like the people, you know, the patients.
Crush on the boss.
Pardon me?
Abby. Abby.
Honey, you have undies on your head, sweetie.
She has a blemish, which I can't even see.
Abby, please take those off.
Who is that? Is that funny?
You should come to the spa and get a facial. They help.
- You're being rude. - Let me see it.
Come on. You know, I've seen it all.
Oh, wow, that's big.
- Really? - She's drunk.
On your nose, almost cystic. It's horrible.
- Mary. - No, I'd rather someone admit it.
At least then I don't feel crazy.
I'm just telling you, half the time, I do feel crazy.
- No one says the truth. - They should.
If you get a sucky haircut, people should admit it. If some...
...procedure is gonna hurt, they should tell you. It makes it worse if they don't.
I hate it when people don't say "bless you."
You know what I hate? When you're in a store...
...and you hold the door for the person behind you...
...but they don't hold the door for the person behind them.
You stand there like a doorman.
- They don't say thank you. - No, why would they? You're not there.
Jesus, I swear sometimes I must be invisible. You want some?
Yeah.
What do we...? What is it? Like...
- We give him about 200 for Christmas. - I give him nothing.
That's why he won't fix anything for you.
If he fixed something for me, I'd give him some money.
You know, they have, like, 12 children.
Nobody told him to do that.
They're very poor. They live in that apartment in the basement.
- I think his wife's in a wheelchair. - I've never seen her in a wheelchair.
- Neither have I. - I'm pretty sure.
So how do they make so many children?
People can still fuck in a wheelchair, Grandma.
Can't they?
- Why are you looking at me? - I don't know.
He's a greaseball.
I.e. Meaning, he's Puerto Rican.
- Happy birthday, Andra. - You're too nice.
- And this... This is for you. - I hope you like it.
You wanna blow the candle out?
Make a wish.
These are some nice products.
I use Olay.
- I'll take it. - No, you will not.
Thank you. That's kind. She loves it.
She doesn't know how to use it. Here, eat your cake.
So, what are you guys gonna do with grandma's apartment?
We haven't really thought about it.
Are you gonna break through, make the living room bigger?
You know, a new bathroom, kitchen. We were gonna renovate anyway, so...
You'll have to change the tile in there.
It's all covered with mould.
- I'd re-tile the whole thing. - I'm sure they're gonna gut it.
You'll be dead, so you don't have to worry about it.
So, wait... So tell me what else are you guys gonna do?
Kate, are you gonna add an extra bedroom?
- Mary, come on, shut up. - What?
- I mean... - Grandma...
...can they show us what they're gonna do with your apartment?
Kate, what else are you gonna do? What do you think?
Where exactly are you gonna expand?
Well, we're gonna break through that wall...
...and that'll be our master bedroom. Over there is gonna be laundry room.
- Where? - Right there.
That's so great. Laundry is such a drag in the city.
It is. And the bedroom will be a master bath and...
You're so lucky.
A proper closet, a real closet.
- It's gonna be gorgeous. - Yeah, I know. I can't wait.
What do you mean? Of course we can wait. We're not in any sort of rush here.
How's the cake? How's that cake, Andra?
Dry.
You know, you were totally drunk. It's embarrassing.
- I was not drunk. - You're always drunk.
- You flirted. - You don't even know what flirting is.
- You're an alcoholic. - Why do you run around telling people...
...I use a tanning bed?
Well, because... It's because you lie. On a tanning bed.
- So what? It's not hurting anybody. - You're mean to Grandma.
She's a bitch.
- How do you fuck in a wheelchair? - Well, I guess you go on the bed.
I mean, even if the legs don't work the middle part might, I guess, huh?
- Man, she's even worse than I thought. - Yeah.
You don't even know the super's wife.
Andra.
Awful.
- It makes me feel bad for Rebecca. - Makes me feel less guilty...
...waiting for her to die. - Wanting her to die.
Shit.
- Can't we put a pillow over her head? - And start construction?
Hey. You were flirting with the sister.
I know.
I have no idea why. She's such a bitch.
Because she's young and pretty.
- Hi. - Get out.
- Morning. - Good morning.
Just gonna rewire this real quick.
Alex, come here for a second.
Another dealer is selling that table for $5000.
That's great. How much you pay for it?
Four thousand for the whole apartment.
The guy had no idea?
He didn't wanna be bothered.
Then don't worry about it.
Let me know if I can help you with anything.
- Yeah. Thank you. - Sure.
Alex?
How come you feel so okay about it?
Because it's okay.
Okay.
I remember when this was first in style.
I didn't like it then, I don't like it now.
- How much is this one? - Why are you asking?
- That is 8000. - Okay.
- It's a sublime piece. - I see.
- You can do many things with it. - Thank you.
Sure.
- Welcome to Skintology. - Thank you very much.
- Is Mary available for a facial? - Which Mary? We actually have two.
Hi.
- How you doing? - Great.
- Right this way. - Okay.
They didn't get a good picture or something.
No. You know, it happens. It doesn't necessarily mean anything.
I feel bad making my grandson schlep me back here.
He's a busy person. But single.
Never has a girlfriend, I don't know why.
- You have a guy? - No.
I mean, I'm trying.
You shouldn't have to try.
I went on a couple of computer dates.
- Oh, that must be awful. - It was.
I figured if Howard Stern can get a facial, so can I.
You know he had his nose done.
He looks great. He's never gonna hit the wall.
I know. I love Howard.
Me too.
Eye cups. Close your eyes.
Oh, fancy. Really fancy.
- I love Artie. - I know.
He kills me.
I wish I could play him all day but I have to play this New Age shit.
Makes me want to kill myself.
I mean, what kind of guy tells the world that he has a little tiny dick?
How cool is that?
Kind of.
- You have nice skin. - Thanks.
I had terrible skin as a kid.
You know, poor Abby. Face is covered with zits. I guess it's hereditary, right?
Well, you shouldn't blame yourself. We'll let the steam open your pores.
Oh, it's part of the European facial.
Hand massage, shoulder massage.
Do you want it?
Sure.
It's okay. Don't... I'll get it.
I didn't know you were gonna do that.
Neither did I.
- Do you still want a facial? - Yes, please.
- Excuse me. Can you help me? - Oh, sure.
Beautiful, isn't it? Perfect condition.
What are you asking for it?
Fifty-five hundred.
How about five thousand?
Okay.
- Hi. - You promised today.
- What did I promise? - Jeans.
- No fighting. - No fighting.
Where'd you find this?
- Really unusual colours. - Yeah.
Excuse me.
Do you know if everything's all right with my grandmother?
You'll have to talk to the doctor.
He probably just saw something and wants to make sure it's nothing.
- It's Rebecca, right? - Yeah. Right.
- Eugene. - Hi. Again.
- Hi. - Hi.
- She's terrific, your grandmother. - Yeah, she is.
She's pretty obvious too. You know, she wants me to ask you out.
Right.
No, I meant that I want to.
- But? - No but.
Would you like to go out with me?
Sure. Yes. Thank... Yeah.
Well, good. We can think of something nice to do.
Actually, you know what? I have some ideas.
Hi, sir.
- How are you? - Good.
Five dollars?
Do you live on a sidewalk?
Those aren't bad.
No, honey, they're not. Turn around.
- I think these work. - These suck.
- No, they don't. - I look like a cow.
All right. Try those other ones on.
- Go ahead. - What's the point?
Abby, just do it.
- She thinks she's fat. - Shut up.
I like those. I think those flaps are cool in the back.
They're in, anyway, right?
- Those are good. - They're awful. I feel like a sausage.
I think they look cute.
- You think these look cute? - Yeah. I do.
- Do you have eyes in your head? - Please don't talk to me like that.
You must think I look like shit all the time if you think these look good.
- I don't have to buy you anything. - Fucking don't.
- How dare you? I'm leaving. - Bye.
- Buy your own fucking jeans. - I would if I had my own money. Bitch.
Excuse me, we're about to close.
You can't stay in there all night.
I mean, she was so rude. I'm at a total loss.
Do you have a stomach ache?
Yeah, a bit.
- Where have you been? - The store.
- This late? - New fall hours.
Go walk your dog.
- Hi. - Oh, hey.
- Hey. She's always there. - Yeah, tell me about it.
My mom practically supports her.
- What do you mean? - She always gives her money.
How do you think a homeless person could have Chanel lipstick? It's gross.
Your mom gives her Chanel lipstick?
She, like, wants to save the world.
One time, she let a homeless lady take a shower in our apartment.
Your mom? That's nice.
Yeah, until the lady took a dump on my bedroom floor.
- Oh, my God. - I know.
She could've done it in my mom's room. She let her in.
She gets all emotional just walking down the street.
"Oh, my God. That man has no head.
Oh, my God, that woman is disgusting."
It's so embarrassing.
- Are you close with your mother? - I don't have one.
- I mean, she's dead. - That's horrible.
- How? - She killed herself.
How old were you?
Mary was 20. I was 15.
I'm 15.
What about your dad? He must've been so mad.
No, he split when we were really little.
He's somewhere, but we don't know where.
- So who'd you live with? - I lived with my grandmother.
This is so disgusting.
Right?
And now we're two people walking around with shit in a bag.
I mean... I mean, what if we didn't have dogs with us, and we were doing that?
That would be disgusting. But because we have dogs, it's normal.
I never thought of that.
Do you come to your Grandma's every night?
Almost.
- Why doesn't your sister come? - She doesn't like her very much.
Mary's so cool. And gorgeous.
Do you think she could help me with my skin?
- Can I help you find something? - That's okay, I'm just looking.
Let me know if you have any questions.
Thanks. This is great.
Yeah.
So, what makes you feel that this is a good time, you know, to volunteer?
I mean, in your life.
Well, something's telling me to do it.
I just... I wanna give something to someone.
Giving money is easy for me, but... Thank god.
- I j... I want to do it. - That's terrific.
A lot of the guests here don't have family visit them.
If they do, it's generally once, twice a year.
They love conversation.
And, of course, we keep it light. Always wanna cheer them up.
- Cheer them up? - We just don't wanna bring them down.
Sometimes all they can think about is dying, so they wanna talk about it.
Shouldn't we?
Makes them sad.
And this is the common area.
We watch movies in here on Saturday nights.
And residents play cards, and just hang out.
- You could even play games with them. - Oh, sure.
- Hi. - Hi, Sandy.
Okay.
Maureen? This is Kate. She might be volunteering here.
Hi, Maureen.
- She's very bent over. - She has rheumatoid arthritis.
Oh, my God. Is it painful? It looks very painful.
Yeah. But we try to be upbeat and positive as much as we can.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's fine. It's okay. Here. Come on. Bye, Sandy.
I don't wanna meet anyone new at my age.
You don't have to be friends with her.
I'm sure she feels the same way about me.
Why would two old ladies wanna be friends at this age?
Look, we're just taking a drive, Grandma.
Come on, the leaves are going to be really pretty, right?
Look, I think they're here.
Mrs. Portman, I'm so sorry. I heard about the results.
When are you gonna get the operation?
The surgery is scheduled for next month.
Right.
What have you got?
It's cancer, a big lump.
Oh, what a horror.
The breast, it just comes off, just like that.
Suppose you get a boyfriend, then what?
You're funny, Andra.
See? She thinks I'm funny.
- I'm sorry, Mrs. Portman. - It's okay. I'm an old lady.
It's a tragedy when it's somebody young.
And I've been lucky.
Cancer is not lucky.
Okay, before the cancer.
- You got a handsome boy there. - Thank you, Andra.
It's the truth.
- But he's very short. - Grandma.
That's good. Otherwise, he would never go for you if he was tall.
Becca is a lovely girl, and I'm sure a lot of boys notice her.
What did I say? I didn't say anything.
Sure. How's your sandwich, Grandma?
Mine's not good, mine's bad.
Okay. Well, mine's good. You want some of mine?
- You want some of mine? - No, yours looks bad too.
You have a lot of friends left, Andra?
Nobody's left.
I had friends. Not a lot.
I was very selective.
Good for you. It's good to be selective.
A lot of people were jealous of me.
Because I was smart.
People often mistook me for a school teacher.
I never finished high school but people thought I was smart.
Well, I can see that.
So...
I think it should be somewhere right around here.
This can't be it.
Well, maybe we just missed it.
Maybe we're too late, or it's been too hot or something.
What's everybody doing?
We're looking at the view.
This is nothing.
- This... - Oh, my gosh.
- This must be their peak. - Yeah, this is the place.
Oh, my God.
It is pretty. Hey, Grandma.
Hey, Grandma.
It's for my daughter.
- How old is she? - She's 15.
- Having a really tough time. - That's so sweet of you to buy this.
She's going to love it.
- God, this is so cute. - You like it?
Where'd you get it? Oh, Poppy. What were you doing down there?
- Isn't this cute, Mom? - It is. It really is gorgeous.
Thanks, Dad.
No matter how much lotion I put on these things there's still just cracks.
It's just... Maybe I should go see that what's-her-name over at the spa.
Get a paraffin dunk...
...or whatever.
- She does facials, doesn't she? - Who?
- Who are you talking about? - About the granddaughter with the tan.
- Who are you talking about? - Same.
- She does facials? - It's what she said.
Honestly, Mary, they were so gorgeous.
Like they were on fire or something.
You should have worn sunscreen.
- Why? I don't think I got sunburned. - Yes, you did.
You could create permanent sun damage.
Mary, you're not at work. God.
It's not just my work. I believe in what I do.
- Oh, come on, you sunbathe. - With sunscreen.
I look better with colour.
You know, you're pretty. You don't need to be tan.
I can't stop.
Just...
I'm glad you had a good time.
Hey, maybe Eugene has a brother or a friend.
- Please. - What?
I don't need you to set me up with a boyfriend.
Sorry.
If I wanted a boyfriend, I'd have one.
You've made a very good choice.
We had put aside a couple of things.
Very, very unusual.
The Gemini initial too.
And the colours are really amazing.
I would also like to point out a chair.
An extremely rare... Excuse me.
This is an Eames chair. It's very rare, 1942.
That particular piece...
Designer?
Resting.
I'm a designer.
I buy a lot of things from Kevin. He's got great taste, doesn't he?
Except for that awful thing.
- That's a rare piece. - It's still ugly.
And I think it's haunted. Got a bad vibe.
Old furniture has ghosts.
I think so too.
How can they not? Right?
I had this bed. Iron. Victorian.
It was gorgeous. Fabulous detail.
I had nightmares for a year. Then I developed TMJ.
Got rid of the bed. No more TMJ, no more nightmares.
Is he a nice guy?
Oh, prick.
Good taste. Still a prick.
I always wanted that Corbusier chaise but I'm allergic to cowhide.
I don't like sitting on things with hair on them.
I think my grandmother had this exact couch.
Where is it now?
- Here, apparently. - Someone's making a killing.
The couch is original leather upholstery.
- It's really beautiful. - What a find.
- Yeah. - Where do you find your stuff?
- Why? - Well, I mean, like...
...do you get it from individuals or is there like a store in Queens you go to...
...and just pick stuff out? - Individuals.
We buy from the children of dead people.
- How nice. - Yeah, it's fun.
What a dick.
I feel like this would look good in my house in New Paltz.
On the wall or on the floor. I don't know.
I'm more of a floor rug person.
- It's actually a tapestry. - No, it's not.
- Yeah, it's a tapestry. - It's a rug.
Okay. It's a rug or a tapestry.
I'm like 100 percent sure that's a rug.
I think you right. It's a rug. Fucking idiot.
White, can I help you? Yes, we do.
- I'm sorry to hear that. - Ambulance chasers.
I'm gonna make an appointment for my wife to come see you.
Mom loved her things.
She just never told us what to do with any of it.
- You from a Salvation Army? - She's from a store on Tenth Avenue.
A junk store?
No, actually, it's a vintage, modern mid-century...
She doesn't want this shit. I told you to call Salvation Army.
She can say if she doesn't want it.
- But she might. - None of this is worth anything.
He just wasted your time.
Look at this chair. Look at it.
This is a great chair.
She died in it.
Oh, no, well, now she's really gonna wanna buy it.
Actually, I think there are some things in here that I could take.
Definitely those two bookshelves and...
This tea cart's pretty charming.
The lamp with the greenery.
It's very kitschy. I think that we can sell it pretty easily.
How much?
- Two thousand. - Are you serious?
And the yellow chair.
See, I told you? Mom had good taste.
Yeah, she did.
Use these.
I will not.
What are you talking about, "You will not"?
I won't.
- You'll use my coupons. - No, I won't.
You're too good for coupons?
They depress me. If you want me to go shopping for you, give me your list.
- I'll get Rebecca to do it. - I told you, she's busy.
- Rebecca's never busy. - Well, she's busy now.
And you should be happy for her.
- Give me your list. - If you're not gonna take my coupons...
...l'll go shopping myself.
I came all the way down here. And you can't walk that far.
You wait and see. When my knees get better...
Arthritis gets worse, not better.
Mine's gonna get better.
Okay.
Like your eyes?
- Yes. - And your feet?
Yes.
Don't do me any favours.
I'll get Rebecca to do it. She didn't ask me so many questions.
Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Your feet hurt because you're old, Grandma.
Things get worse, not better.
Movie audiences are reticent to see their favourite funnymen in dra...
- Hi, Mary. - Hi.
- How's it going? - Pretty good.
She's got me going to the market for her.
- Hi. - Hey, how are you?
Very well.
You still got that tan.
It's kind of fading, actually.
I think I'm hitting the wall.
Thanks.
It's nice of you to shop for her.
It's not like I have a choice.
I guess I could starve her to death.
So, where do you go shopping?
In a market.
- Okay, well, bye. Later, see you. - Okay. Good to see you again.
I'm gonna go and do some errands. Some stuff I've been putting off.
- Okay. So I'll see you at the store. - Okay. All right.
So like, I don't know exactly what it is you do.
Well, I'm, you know... I'm a computer consultant.
Yeah. But what is that?
Look, I'll tell you someday when you want to go into a coma.
- Now, you have a great job. - Yeah?
You know, from a guy's point of view.
- Okay. - No, I just... Okay.
Look, I just wonder what made you decide to choose that.
Yeah. You know, I wonder that too.
Were you breast fed?
- No, I doubt it. - Well, there you go.
What?
I mean, to be honest, I don't really see them like breasts.
I see them more like they're these tubes of potential danger.
- Tubes of potential danger. - Yeah.
- Welcome. - Thank you.
See you've got some new things.
All the time.
Where do you find all of this?
Why?
Just... Just curious.
I love this couch, honey.
Excuse me. How much for this?
- That's 4000. - It's perfect for the playroom.
Oh, my God. Honey. Take a look at this.
That is so bad, it's almost great.
I don't know, honey. It's kind of ugly.
Hey, miss. How much are these?
Those are 1400 for the pair.
Oh, are they important?
Well, we're not sure of the provenance but I think they're quite nice. Yeah.
Come up here and fix the reception.
Yes, it's your job. You're the super. The super fixes things.
Idiot.
Leaving me here without anything to eat.
Oh, shit.
What a mess.
You know, I've never cheated on Kate before.
- How would I know that? - Because I haven't.
So why now?
We're just like partners, you know?
We're partners at work. We're partners as parents.
Partners in life.
We're friends, right?
I like my friends. I don't really have any.
Friends are good. They are.
- How's she so skinny? - What?
Kate, she's so beautiful and she's so skinny.
- How does she stay so skinny? - She worries a lot.
I worry a lot.
And you're skinny.
I'm sorry. This is all just such a mess.
I'm a mess.
And I really never should've started this and I'm sorry.
- I apologise. - You know what some people say?
They sat that it's hard to imagine why someone would have an affair...
...if there weren't something missing in the marriage.
You know what I mean?
You know what else they say? They also say sometimes it can help.
You know? Maybe it will.
Sometimes that's what they say.
I don't want to fuck you anymore.
Have you ever thought about killing yourself?
No.
Why?
Rebecca's mother killed herself.
Oh, God, how horrible. No wonder.
No wonder what?
You can see how damaged those girls are.
You don't ever think about things like that, do you?
No.
Hey, I wonder where our friend is.
- Makeup man? - Yeah.
Hopefully, he found a nice spot near Sephora.
I hope nothing happened to her.
- You're worried. - A little. She lives on the street.
You don't even know her.
Oh, God, look at this.
Hi. Here you go.
- No way. - Abby.
You don't give me 20 dollars.
Abby. Give this man that money right now, we'll discuss this later.
- No. - Give it to me.
This is insane.
- I buy you everything you need. - I'm keeping this 20 dollars.
Abby, please.
- Abby, I don't have another 20. - So give him the 5.
- Give him the 20. - So give him the 5.
- Give him the 20. - No.
I'm sorry. I'm ashamed.
I'm sorry.
Honey, I just gotta ask. What you were thinking?
This guy, this poor guy. His...
His wife or sister, whomever, was just so mean.
I had to buy it. I felt so bad for him.
I mean, who's to say this stuff isn't valuable?
I can. This stuff is not valuable.
Somebody liked it. I mean, in 15 years this chair...
...will be worth a ton of money...
...because some genius German designer, you know, designed it.
We're not gonna sell any of this shit.
I already sold two shelves for 1400 dollars.
- You did? That's great. - No, it's not.
- I don't feel very good about it. - I don't understand.
I practically stole from them.
Well, then why did you charge them a ton of money?
I wanted to.
I've been feeling really suspicious lately, Alex.
People have been coming in asking questions.
- Like what? - "Where does your stuff come from?"
- "How do you get it?" - People are like that.
They're curious. They're curious about where the stuff comes from.
No. This is different. People who we've bought stuff from...
...are sending in friends, or lawyers...
...to find out how much we're selling these things for.
- Your guilt is warping you. - Why isn't it warping you?
It is. Your guilt is warping me.
If this makes you feel so bad, if doing this makes you feel so crappy...
...do something else. Stop doing it.
Then somebody else will just do what we're doing.
That guy on Eighth Avenue, with the store...
...he's selling stuff that he bought from us for more money.
Quitting isn't gonna help anything, Alex. Nothing helps.
- I have because... It's not that often I get to do this...
...and, you know, this is part of entertaining.
If you have nice pieces like this, you get to show them off.
Grandma?
Now, look at this. Just spectacular. Absolutely wonderful.
Oh, my God.
- And all this crudités aside.
You wanna bring this out to the table, you know, especially with appetizers.
I have to show off for a moment.
Right this way. This, obviously, is the gym.
The kids come here three times a week to play sports.
This is something you could actually help out with.
And the cones are not confusing at all.
- What do you mean? - There's, you know...
It's a drill.
Sweetie. Come here.
This is Kate. She's gonna be helping out.
Kate, this is Abby. Abby, this is Kate.
- Thank you. Thank you, Kate. - Nice to meet you.
Abby is one of our most athletic.
- Isn't that right, Abby? - Yes, I am.
Wanna show Kate how well you shoot a hoop?
- Yeah. - Go ahead.
Good job, Abby.
- You wanna have a shot? - No.
- Go ahead. Give it a try. - Go on. Try it.
You try, you fail. You try, you fail.
Try again.
Thank you.
Very good.
Thank you.
What are you doing?
Are you okay?
I'm sorry. It's just so sad.
You should go. Really.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
Kate?
You need any help?
Do you want someone to help you?
I'll be okay. I'm okay.
You know, I should've been here.
- I would have been here. - Please.
If I'd bought her groceries I would have been here.
What are you...? Why didn't you buy her groceries?
I thought you were supposed to.
Here's something she got a lot of use from.
No special occasion, Grandma. You should have worn the fucker.
Don't do that. That's mean. Stop it. Stop it.
She was mean. Why do you think Mom took 85 Valium?
Because her mother was loving and kind?
- You can't blame Grandma. - Why not?
We don't have any family anymore.
I gotta go back to work.
I have appointments.
You'll wait for the guy?
Grandma's dead and you're going to work?
You're right.
Oh, look.
She's still dead. Bye.
- You know, you're really cold. - I know.
Oh, hi.
- Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm just...
I guess washing dishes just makes me want to kill myself.
- Oh, God. I'm so sorry. It's an ex... - Oh, no. I know. I know.
I just wanted to tell you that my grandma died.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Come inside, please. Please.
Do you think you could die if you ate something from a dented can?
You think that's what happened? I don't think... I don't think so.
Okay. No, I've just been taking care of her for a really long time, you know?
This pill that day, this doctor, that medicine, not that medicine.
And then she dies from drinking bad juice.
That didn't happen.
Yeah.
You're a really good person.
You are.
Thank you. Thanks.
So are you.
Can I help you with something?
Yeah, that would be great. Maybe in a while, when they come...
...it would be great if you could be with me. Thank you.
Welcome to Skintology. How can I help you?
I'd like a facial with Mary, please.
Okay, we have two Marys. Which one?
- Brown hair? Blonde hair? - Brown.
She actually had a cancellation...
...if you can wait 30 minutes. - Sure.
Well, this worked out well. It's a surprise to see you.
Becca said she thought you could do something for my pimples.
I definitely can.
We'll just open up your pores and clean you out.
Ever had a facial?
My mom took me for one once at this really fancy place.
But it didn't work. They just rubbed a bunch of cream on and made it worse.
That's too bad. Just know it's not your fault. It's hereditary.
Yeah, my dad supposedly had bad skin.
That's right, he said it was terrible.
Yeah.
He had it for a long time too.
- How do you know that? - He comes in for facials.
- My dad? - Hey, Howard Stern gets them.
Not from me, but a lot of men do.
Is it okay if I take these off? They're bugging me.
Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah.
Sorry, honey. It's not fun.
My grandmother died.
She did?
Now your mom can have her master bedroom.
That's too bad. I mean, I'm sorry she died.
- When did it happen? - Not sure.
We found her today, so probably last night.
Oh, here's a deep one.
- Wiggle your toes. - Okay.
- Why? - I don't know. It's supposed to help.
That's like one of those things that we hate.
What?
Like when people won't tell you the truth.
- Like, if you look bad in something. - Oh, I don't follow.
Like, saying wiggle your toes it's just, like, a... Whatever.
So.
When did my dad come here? I can't picture it.
He's come in a few times.
But he doesn't have bad skin. What would he come in for?
This and that.
This and that?
We should do an enzyme peel. We get all the...
And then get all the dead skin off.
It kind of looks like you've been hit by a truck right afterwards...
...but in the end it's worth it.
Does the building have a back door?
You know, for deliveries, things like that?
So we don't have to go out the front. You know, not a glamorous sight.
Yeah. In the basement there's a door to the alley...
...but, you know, there's always a ton of stuff blocking it.
I think maybe there's an exit through the super's apartment.
I know it's really messy.
So sorry about your grandmother.
She make me fix her TV. She doesn't even give me any money.
I see her last night. She's not dead then.
She be yelling at me like I'm some kind of kid.
I'm sorry she did that.
- Can I give you something? - I don't need a tip. She's dead.
Yeah. Okay, thank you. Should we...?
I'm happy to see that you're feeling better.
I was not sick.
But weren't you in a... You were in a wheelchair, right?
- Me? - Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Who told you I was in wheelchair? I was never in a wheelchair.
- I must've thought it was somebody... - Why are you saying this to me?
Where did you get that?
- What? - This.
- This? - Yeah. The box.
It was a gift.
Okay.
Andra died.
I know.
- You do? - Yeah.
Oh my god, honey. What happened to your face?
I just had a facial.
- From whom? - Mary.
What did she do to you?
She gave me a peel. And then she worked on me forever.
Honey, this should not look like this. I'm calling her now.
- No, no. - Honey.
It's not her fault I have bad skin. This is normal.
She said it would go away.
It will. It'll go away. It will go away.
Who are you?
I've seen you walk by, over and over. For months.
And then you come in and pretend to shop.
- Why are you watching me? - I love your store.
And I'm also... I'm...
I'm Brian's ex-girlfriend, Mary.
- And? - No, I just...
I guess I just wanted to see what he threw me over for.
So that's why you watch me?
I was curious to see what he thought you have that I don't have.
And did you figure out what that was?
No.
You have nothing.
You have a very large back.
What kind of person, at your age, does something like this?
You know, it's very sad.
You're old and you're a stalker.
Loser.
- What happened? - Nothing.
Rough pimple night?
Mary gave me a facial.
Mary?
Yeah.
Oh, you mean, like...
...next-door granddaughter Mary?
She's not very good, is she? No offence.
Don't worry. I'm not going back there.
Of course not.
Neither should you.
- Me? - She said you went there.
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
She...
She helped me with my skin.
At my age, I mean, God knows.
When does it stop?
Yeah.
No. No one is ever going back there.
Ever.
How's she doing?
She's sad.
It's so rough, her age.
We should stand back, you know.
- Why? - Microwaves are bad for you.
But we're cooking our food in it.
They say it's different, what comes out.
The city of Honolulu is on which Hawaiian island?
- Oahu. - Yes. Good choice.
All right. Way to go, Lala.
This next question is unusually tough. Okay? But you can do this.
Name the South American city best known...
...for its annual Carnival celebrations.
Do you know South America? Geography?
Not really. I'm just gonna have to take a guess on this one.
Santiago.
I'm terribly sorry. The correct answer is Rio.
- Oh, can I help you? - Yeah, I'm Kate. Hi.
I bought your mother's furniture a while back.
- Yeah. - I wanted you to have this.
It turned out to be worth a bit of money.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
- I thought it was all junk. - No, no, no.
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
- How much is it worth? - About $700.
I can't believe you brought it back. That's...
- That's pretty unusual. - It was my pleasure, really.
Bye.
Shit.
Andra participated in many groups over the years...
...and especially enjoyed volunteering.
She worked at the ASPCA when she was a teenager...
...and later on read to the blind...
...and did art projects with underprivileged children.
She enjoyed reading a great deal...
...but when her eyes began to fail...
...she especially loved watching television.
Her favourite show was Entertainment Tonight.
Okay, so this is Eugene and Paulette.
- This is Alex. And this is... - Hi.
- Alex. How are you? - This is Kate.
Hi, Paulette.
Andra was a lovely woman.
Not really. But thanks.
She was very direct.
- She had a sad life. She did. - Maybe.
So you're going to start renovating?
- Yeah. Yeah. - Pretty soon.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I'm sure it's gonna be great.
It'll be bigger. It'll be fine. Who cares?
- I'm gonna take her dog. So... - Oh, that's great.
But I guess it means I won't be seeing you guys anymore.
Oh, that's true.
- We've sort of been neighbours. It's... - Yeah.
Her boyfriend was so handsome.
He was. Very.
Seemed so nice.
He's pretty short.
Not that short.
Maybe he doesn't mind.
Oh, he minds.
- You can't know that. - Yes, she can.
What do you think?
I think they look good.
I think they cost $235.
You wanna get them?
- Really? - If you want them.
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
You're welcome.