Lady. Stand straight. Ready. One, two, three!
Be serious, okay?
Once more, ready...
Lady, be serious. Okay?
Come in, ready.
what's wrong with you?
Hey! I just want
a special I.D. photo.
Hi!
Miss Ma, are you going to London alone?
Any checked baggage?
A seat by window or by aisle?
Ah... well, I want an upgrade,
so I come late.
Is the ecocomy class full?
we've 2 flights tonight, so we still have some seats.
Oops... But I致e a special reason
for upgrade...
I知 having matchmaking in this trip.
Perhaps I値l get married.
Miss Ma, you're just eighteen.
what? why can't an eighteen girl get married?
Forget it. Don't talk about marriage.
But celebrate my birthday. I知 an adult.
Give me an upgrade. Right?
Um... I致e to consult my boss.
Sorry to have kept you waiting.
It's okay.
Thank you.
Thanks very much, bye. Thanks.
Now, Mr. Cheung, could you tell me exactly what you mean by...
woman is the second sex
in this new century?
It appears to me that you have been
a complete sexist during the entire conduct of your research.
Tell me, do you know anything about women...
Tell me what you really know about woman.
... this paper of this level?
Have you nothing to say?
I知 sorry, I did... the research
but I don't think I really know... women.
Eight years ago, I壇 told you
there're many interesting subjects.
But you pick women.
I betted your thesis should fail.
No way. I should go back and lobby them.
Hey! Don't waste your time.
It's useless even if I give you chance.
All examiners are women.
Ah... It took me eight years,
but I still can't earn a master's degree.
Hey. why did you fling my file? This is yours.
I知 sorry.
Cheung, do something new.
Already eight years,
I don't want to change the topic.
I知 not talking about thesis, but woman.
Get a new woman to earn new energy.
That's good. I致e matchmaking next tonight.
Good. Right.
Marry a woman soon.
Study her night and day,
and you'll get passed.
And you may still have fun even though you get failed.
Come on. Let's drink the tea.
Come on. Drink the tea.
I changed Yoyo's diaper when she's a baby.
Now she's grown up.
Vowed sister, your son is thirty now.
- Yeah! - Right.
If one of us were a man,
we had got married young,
not awaiting the next generation.
Let's drink the tea.
Vowed sister, we planned to have babies in the same year,
but you didn't have any.
Cheung is older than Yoyo by 12 years.
Don't mention anymore. That's his problem.
Let's drink the tea.
Good...
Mum, do you like if yoyo be
Your granddaughter-in-law?
Though my mum is 93, her eyes are healthy.
A... Yoyo, turn about.
Let grandmother study you.
Too fast, how can she see?
Stand up.
Turn slowly. Yes, slower.
Good. Her busts are big enough, and have much milk.
Good. Very good.
Let's drink the tea.
Come on. Drink the tea.
what's problem with her eyes?
They used to be okay...
It's great...
Excuse me. I want to go shopping.
Yo Yo, Yo Yo...
My daughter is impolite.
Anna!
where are you going?
what are your exam results? Have you passed?
Let's get married.
My grandma and mum are waiting for us in China Town.
Finished. Cheung, we'd finished!
what do you mean?
I致e been with you for 5 years.
Do you know how many men I致e affairs with?
Nine.
But you don't you know it's your fault.
I don't want to hurt you,
but plan to tell you after your graduation.
But you never pass.
Nine men?
And two women.
- Sorry. - Hey! Stand here.
Less baby fat now.
Ah... are you the Yoyo coming from Hong Kong?
Sure.
H'm!... Let me state clearly first.
I don't believe
arranged marriage works today.
And the fact is I致e an ex-girl friend.
Ex-?
Right. we've just broken up.
She left you?
That's not today's dicussion topic.
I won't answer you.
Okay. Understand!
Let me tell you. After the Qing government was overthrown,
love gained freedom.
Our age difference is so great.
It's not possible. Okay?
Hey! Indeed I come here to consider marriage.
How come you hurt me this way?
It's kidding. Stupid.
My dad and mum love me dearly
because I知 their only child.
My daddy and mum also love me dearly.
I told them I must study in Hong Kong, and they daren't object.
I致e a grandma.
when I was four, we lived in a public housing estate.
She saved me from a fire.
we rolled out together. Did you know?
How? Like a fire wheel?
Don't kid. I知 serious.
Poor. Her back got burned,
leaving her a hunchback.
what do you want to say?
I want to make it clear.
How? Tell your grandma you failed to graduate,
and your girlfriend left you?
It's a fact.
Your grandma isn't in good shape. Her hands are shaky.
Can't she accept the truth?
I知 inferior.
Her grandson, l, is inferior. Anything wrong?
what's matter?
Do you think you can persuade the elders?
No problem. I知 thirty, an adult.
Hey! Cheung...
Remember to tell them I知 very good.
But you don't appreciate.
Don't you understand?
Cheung. Let's get married.
Get married.
what did you say?
I just...
Kidding. Don't be serious.
Unless you got a sweater with Beckham's signature on it,
I won't marry you
How can marriage be casual?
we also cheat in exams.
I never cheat in exams.
why are you
so serious?
we should make our life happy.
You'll do anything if you got
a Beckham's signature on a sweater?
Be quick, the church is closing.
Quicken. Quicken.
I知 coming. I知 coming.
Heavenly Father, by your blessing,
let this ring be to sub sum Cheung and
Yo Yo Ma a symbol of unending love and faithfulness,
to remind them of the vow and covenant
which they have made this day, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen
Hey! I致e finished. Read once for you.
we agree to divorce in 1 year
without any compensation.
Come and sign the agreement.
what's up?
Hey! we've got married.
How come I can't keep the ring?
One year.
I値l copy the certificate.
I don't want grandma read the back.
Great. I finally make her wish come true.
Mind your words. when the elders
finished their business, they'll...
Damn you.
Hey. Stand still.
You haven't kissed me.
Hey! we just act, no way.
Fool, it's your luck.
I知 sexy. Yeah...
Listen to me, old guy.
Don't betray me. Understand?
Not okay?
I知 the sexiest. I知 the sexiest.
Return your call late?
Is next week okay?
what? He dates with Maggie, the bitch.
wow... Maggic has a good pick.
Oops... what?
I don't care you. You do it yourself.
Time up, bye.
Miss... wait. Miss...wait.
Thank you!
Eh! Eh... Thanks. Good morning, Miss.
Good morning.
Come earlier next time.
Yoyo! Yoyo! Are you late again?
Help... help!
Someone is fainting. Open the door. Miss...
Miss!
Open the door. She's fainting.
- Miss! - Are you alright?
Feli faints after she's walked up the road.
She's suffering from anemia. I carry her on my back.
Did you suffer from anemia last time?
No. It's her as well.
It's me that suffered from anemia last time.
Do you want to see a doctor?
No. Taking a rest is okay.
Don't faint next time.
All scatter.
- Scatter... - Make way...
Make way.
- Miss... - Miss Chu?
what's going on?
- Miss Chu suddenly goes mad. - Really?
She's gones mad.
Girls! 2 Choices!
I give you 15 seconds.
Either go back to the classroom
or be punished in the admin office.
Start counting.
Move!
Five seconds more.
Five, four, three, two one!
Let me be the supply teacher of psychology.
I don't know how to teach psychology,
but I can teach ethics.
I壇 rather listen to an insane person.
It's your mistake.
I live alone, how can I use so much water?
The water charge is three thousand dollars.
Anyway, send someone to check immediately.
Send a carefree guy.
Don't you understand what carefree means?
It means unrestrained, understand?
Hello? Don't pretend.
Leung. I recognize you.
Don't talk like this. I致e known you for 15 years.
I won't go out to see you anyway.
Hey. wait. Someone checks the record.
You've bingo.
we got married
to please grandma.
who knows she played mahjong,
won, and passed away.
How evil?
Come in and talk.
Do you want to revenge on me?
Of course not. My grandma died with a smile.
when she's dying, she left something
to her granddaughter-in-law.
Oh! A nice jade.
Sure.
- It's very green. - Sure.
I知 sure it's an antique.
Sure. Be careful. This jade is one of a pair.
Grandma said great-grandma was a lady-in-waiting.
The pair of jades were given by Empress Cixi.
They passed from one generation toanother.
How about the other one?
I keep it for my future daughter
as dowry.
Listen to me. I don't quite like it!
Just keep it for a while.
You want to put it off? Be careful, it's an antique.
Let me help you.
what're you holding?
Shit. I致e already told you it's an antique.
My socks are also antiques.
Be careful.
Couldn't put off.
Your home is very untidy.
Hey! Yoyo, are you here? I知 waiting for you.
Hey! Not hanged up yet?
what are you playing on me?
You said so. Good. Await me.
Hey! To where?
- Follow me. - where are you going?
Leung.
I know you don't want to let me die.
Be quick!
who's this guy?
This guy sat next to me when I was 3 in the kindergarten.
Leung's loved me one-sidely for 15 years.
And this is my husband.
Ha! Don't pick a man to deceive me.
what's an old guy! Not really?
This is the marriage certificate. That's why I take you out.
Forget me.
what's going up? why do you take so many estasies?
I don't care you got a husband,
and have an affair with you.
Psychological illness.
Yoyo. 15 years has passed.
If you don't date with me,
I値l jump into sea
- to tell the world that. - Go to hell.
Forget me. Don't tell nonsense!
Hey. How on earth can you do that?
what! I致e endured him for 15 years.
It's his luck that I haven't kicked him into the sea until today.
Leave!
Leave now!
How about him?
Don't waste your time. He wins swimming race annually.
But how about my marriage certificate?
That photocopy was used to deceive my grandma.
You're smart!
You...
Do you have many boyfriends?
l got six last week,
but get five this week.
Not counting the one I kicked into the sea, I get four.
Really? You're kidding.
what? Do I make you lose face?
Don't dare think no body wants me
because I don't have a nice figure.
I said nothing.
My style now goes hot in Hong Kong.
Really.
Hey. Do you come to Hong Kong
to give me the jade?
Not exactly... My grandma migrated to England,
and stayed at China Town for dozens of years,
but now she's in the coffin,
so I get a sudden thought.
I want to see the outside world.
Do you think of living here?
Absolutely not. I will stay at YMCA.
Instead of paying the rent to others, why don't you pay it to me?
what? You're rescued by the frogman?
Don't bother me anymore.
I repeatedly tell you I don't love you.
I got married, and you met my husband.
I really got married.
we've registered, and will bear a baby soon.
It's an antique.
I知 not pregnant. But I知 bearing a baby soon.
I really got married.
There's another big problem.
Bye.
Empress Cixi...
pass from one generation to next
pass from one generation to next.
Can we use the glue to stick the broken pieces together?
How?
Can tape work?
Have you gone crazy?
Stand still. Don't come here.
I知 sorry.
I never said
so many ''sorry''...until now.
Put it this way...
Drink this first. Then, have a shower.
Next, I値l help you fix it.
I was good at artwork.
what are you talking about? Drink or have a shower?
I always drink when I致e a shower.
You can use my towel.
Listen to me. I知 going to toilet.
Don't touch my stuff.
You can drink when you're in toilet.
Come to see. They are stuck together?
Are you happy about this?
Nice?
I壇 told you my artwork was good.
Give back to me. Thanks.
I don't think it's repairable.
Then do another for fun.
Oops. I shouldn't have trusted you.
''Sorry'' doesn't mean anything...
But how can this jade pass from one generation to the next now?
You're out of control.
- what do you mean? - Uncontrollable.
I don't want to see you anymore. Retire, alright?
I don't want to go to bed.
Okay. I can make you sleep eternally if you don't want to sleep.
- Sleep or not. - I知 tired...
Hey! Can you wake me up at two?
Don't worry. I値l be sleepless tonight even without time gap.
will you sleep with me tonight?
what? Do you want to compensate me by sex?
How evil you are!
Sleeping together doesn't mean making love.
I certainly don't think about this at present age.
Anyway.
But we really have nothing to do.
Shit. You promised to wake me up at two.
Anybody called me?
There's a call at one o'clock.
what's wrong with you? How useless you are!
- You should have woken me. - what do you mean?
You... can call him back tomorrow.
It's the golden time to collect intelligence.
well. All are offline now.
Shit! You...
You snored loudly, how could I sleep?
Are you mad? why do you wear uniform?
I知 used to it, so there's no hurry in the morning.
Be serious.
why not? I can't sleep.
Let's sing karaoke together. Come on. Sing.
Sing karaoke. Come on.
wake up. Be on duty. Master.
Sleep well? I cooked the breakfast.
I cooked the breakfast. Master.
Get up to eat the breakfast, please.
Did you sleep well last night, master?
Get up quickly.
For what?
Get up to eat the breakfast. I treat you.
Certainly not. Shit!
It's just six. It's now ten thirty in Britain.
I just went into sleep.
No. No. Get up for once only.
why do you treat me for breakfast?
Score again. He scores from every shoot.
Score again. He never fails.
Hey, can you do that?
when did I say I can?
- You bring me here... - You...
I used to be a reserve in the school team. Shall I go?
Please!
what a deal to treat me for breakfast!
- Come on, please! Darling. - I should know you've purpose.
I owe you. what do you want?
My god, does any husband help his wife to know new guy?
Buddy, buddy...
Guy... I bet on a score.
what's up?
Just bet on a score.
How about if I lose...
Eat breakfast with that girl.
Okay, give me the ball.
Okay. I use single hand only.
- Bravo! - Kelvin is great!
wait...
Not shooting here?
- Not right? - what? So close?
well. I mean shooting from here...
to there. That counts.
Take back the money.
It's your turn.
Your name is Kelvin?
You come here to play the basketball on Tuesdays and Fridays.
How do you know?
Oh! I like seeing players shoot.
who's that guy? He's a good shooter.
Oops... He's my uncle. Yeah, he shoots well,
but his posture is not good.
I bring him here to imitate your posture.
- Really? - You know...
it's useless if you've ability without posture nowadays.
Any tissue?
Uncle, can you give me a tissue, please?
Ah, excuse me, nephew... Excuse me.
It doesn't matter.
- That's the tissue. - Thanks.
- who're you? - l...
- wait. - Open the door!
wait, I haven't worn the bottom.
- Afraid what? I致e seen your body yet. - I致e grown up.
Open the door. Open the door quickly.
what? Is there anything you don't want to let me know?
what's inside? Open the door.
Open the door. Or we'll not be friends anymore.
- Come in... - No...
I値l call Fat Cat if you don't open the door.
- Let me wear the bottom. - Quick!
Did you hear?
Okay. I hide here.
I make call right now.
No. You'll be found.
Quick. I haven't wear the bottom...
One, two...
I致e already said that I was wearing the bottom.
Anything wrong? what are you looking for?
Nothing!
You told me you'd done something
absurd in Britain. Right?
A guy answered my call,
didn't he?
You don't let me go up...
Damn you. You're lying to me, aren't you?
I知 sure you hide a man inside.
well. He's...
gone.
Gone?
Big briefs! Don't think that I知 not able to see them.
His size is okay.
You promise you'll tell me if you've a boy friend.
You don't treat me as a friend.
Don't you understand?
I don't want to let anybody know.
Otherwise...
Don't go away.
Oops! Don't look for it. Nothing.
I heard something.
Just a mouse.
How come there is a mouse?
My home's untidy. You know by a glance.
It must be a man.
Oops! Look for it yourself.
Can you see anything? I said nothing.
why don't you believe me?
I値l find him out.
Down there! Down there!
Look! He's outside...
Man. I致e found him.
Hey, come out. Shit.
Let me introduce. This is Feli. This is my husband.
Your husband?
Just last for one year.
My name is Cheung. I値l shake hand with you after I wear my bottom.
Hey. Hey. He's handsome.
Ah! Listen to me, Feli.
This case can be big or small. Don't tell anybody.
Swear first.
Ha? Is this swearing?
It's not good for me to stay here. I should leave.
Cheung. Hey... Cheung. Here...
Fire. Come up. Be quick.
- Fire? - Come up. Be quick.
Hey, new model. Can you master it?
Computer. It's easy to understand.
It's hard to understand your words. I never hear about this.
How difficult? Take it.
Change this tomorrow, and adding this one.
I should leave now.
Leave? where are you going?
Don't go. Help me fix it tomorrow.
I知 afraid I can't finish my thesis
on women if I continue staying.
H'm! what? Am I not a woman?
You're a woman?
I知 certainly a woman. Do you want to check?
This way... Let's cooperate!
How much money do you have?
It's none of your business.
Give me 300 bucks?
From now on, I知 your research topic.
You should pay me 300 bucks for each question you asked.
wait. You got 300 bucks from me. Did I ask you any question?
Look! You did ask me question.
Any question?
why do you come back early?
300 bucks.
Hey! It doesn't mean a question. Is this a question?
Thank you.
what's kind of people you are?
Ah. I just talk to myself.
I知 ordering take-away pizza. Does ''Robbing'' order as well?
You're smart. You know how to avoid asking me question.
Do you know how to save 300 bucks?
How?
That is... don't ask me how to save money. Ha! Ha!
It's on you.
That's what I have.
I知 serious. Give me a serious answer.
why you and other women are more emotional than men are?
who am I?
You're Yoyo Ma.
Good. 150 bucks, please.
Hey, you haven't answer me.
I can't represent other women.
But I can answer half of the question. Give me half.
Be serious.
Can you stop playing this game? Okay?
l...
Frankly speaking. I don't have money.
Okay. I don't ask anymore.
I study in a girl school.
The headmistress is a nun. All teachers are women.
And there're many female students.
I introduce them to you. You ask them yourself.
Their charge is cheaper. Go or not?
Do you come to have a job interview?
Yes.
You seem to be late?
No, lady first.
Okay, come in!
Sit down.
The headmistress wants to say a few words.
Thanks! Miss Lau!
All of you know that what have happened two weeks ago.
Due to personal love affair, our psychology teacher Miss Chu
needs to stay temporarily in an asylum.
we're happy...
Attention, I mean the happy thing is -
we've employed a substitute teacher.
He is the second male teacher in school.
Mr. Cheung.
Your husband.
Hello, everybody.
Tell us what you're familiar with.
Ah... Do you know what psychology is?
In fact psychology is not complicated.
Let me briefly explain it...
Ah... Do you know your husband teaches in our school?
Certainly not!
Life is like a white board.
It's nothing at the very beginning.
Since the brain is not fully developed, thought is not completed.
Therefore, psychology has not formed yet.
Do you understand what he's talking?
I don't know.
Regarding ''motivation'', it has two main schools of thought?
Do you have an extra board?
Enough! Attention!
That's enough. Mr Cheung,
leave your teaching in lesson...
Oh... okay.
Stand up.
After school?
Disband.
Your husband is greeting you.
Don't let other schoolmates know.
Otherwise, I値l chop you to death.
You spoke well.
Really? Not boring? Thanks...
Okay.
This is Mr. Lam. He used to be the only male teacher in school.
The staff room is for female teachers only.
The male teachers sit in the art room.
Only you and I are the male teachers in this school.
we don't have any status.
But it's more convenience to me. As I teach art,
I don't have to be mobile.
I don't care.
One more thing.
You should distinguish
among three levels of piss?
why?
Because there's only one male toilet on 8th floor.
when you're in need urgently,
but couldn't wait going up...
Tell you something.
Once I wanted to piss,
I rushed to the female toilet.
Did you run into anyone?
If yes, I couldn't stay here and talk to you.
we're men.
Talk with me when you're in need.
Apart from mental process, do you know anything about psychology?
Give some examples.
You give me some examples.
Emotion.
Emotion is correct. Anymore?
Behaviour.
Also correct.
More.
Stress.
Development.
Memory.
All are correct.
You promised me 300 bucks per question.
Can I pay the money at home?
Then give me an extra 300 bucks. Okay? Be Quick.
Give you all. Don't bother me.
It's your fault. You should have told me you teach in my school.
Mr Cheung, I wanted to ask you
a question during lesson.
Miss Lau!
- That question is complicated. - I don't quite understand.
- It's relatively complicated. - Stand still.
what's matter with you?
How colorful of your hair! Come over here.
where do you want to go? Stand still.
what's wrong with your head? Are you in fashion show?
Come over here. Remove them.
Everyone in school is afraid of Miss Lau.
Remember to ask more questions in lesson. Fool!
You're fool!
Are you waiting for Yoyo too?
Sure.
Yoyo, come over here.
The two fools have come.
Hey! Your husband's coming. what to do now?
Calm down. Just watch.
- Happy birthday. - Happy birthday.
Do you really think it's my birthday today?
I知 lying.
If I truly love you,
will I ask you to hold a bunch of flowers
standing disgracefully outside the school?
why do you ask us to come?
Frankly, someone asks me to be focus.
Love one only. And break up with the unloved one.
Yoyo, who teaches you so?
Yoyo, what are you doing here?
No, sir, I知 just breaking up with the guys.
Oops. Really? So and so
The flowers are very beautiful.
Are they it for the grave? Your ancestors must feel happy.
It's none of your business, sir.
Not my business? well. It's not my business. Bye.
Yoyo, what do you want?
Listen to sir.
Take the flowers to worship your ancestors.
why don't we listen to Yoyo and take the flowers to the grave?
I don't have any ancestor to worship.
My grandpa was buried in Tseung Kwan O, do you want to go with me?
It's good idea.
My name is Roman.
My name is Leo. Shall we go by bus?
How sad we are.
Let's take the taxi.
Don't buy too many. It's hot.
Eh! It's lucky that you landed a job, and have income.
what? It's on me?
You're my husband. You should give me some housekeeping money.
what're you doing? That's yours.
- I pay them. - Shit!
You... live in my home without paying rent.
without paying? I did much work for you.
Hey. what? we're couple,
and haven't divorced yet.
It seems we're being followed.
Perhaps your classmate?
Hey, one more trolley.
It's Leung.
Run into us or follow us?
lgnore him. Leave now.
Tell me what school it is.
You can't get annual leave.
I long awaited my wife to Canada,
and you longed for travelling in Paris with me.
Teaching by profession.
Earn few, not enough for me.
And... You...
Speak in lower voice.
There're many activities in school recently.
I知 angry.
How can someone talk in a low voice when he's angry?
Go now.
well, will you divorce with your wife?
Shit. I知 just blaming you,
but you ask me such question now.
Do you want to make me angrier?
My buddy just called me.
He wanted to introduce a model for me to date with for 2 months.
If I知 not with you, I値l not go to the market tonight.
It's supermarket.
It's the same.
I know you're good to me, but...
Hey! Yoyo! Don't go away.
I致e a few words with your husband. Don't run.
Sorry!
Yoyo, you dare to steal for slimming.
Do you know it affects your life?
Miss Lau.
I just shop with my friend.
This is Bruce. This is my colleague in school.
Mr. Cheung. You can let me go.
Hello... How are you?
Theft is serious from psychological viewpoint.
- Speak slower. - Yoyo, I want to tell you...
Ah. Yeah... I know what you want to say.
This is my teacher (husband). Talk to him.
Right. I知 her teacher (husband).
Please stand aside, don't bother other people.
Yeah. Today's youngsters are troublesome.
we should talk in school soon.
well, soon.
Bruce, we go over there to buy something.
what? Are you in rush?
Go now.
You, her husband, give Yoyo back to me.
No problem. we can talk about this.
You really buy
a new phone to me? Don't lie.
Don't talk anymore. what's matter?
why did you leave Jay?
Hey, I知 not a lesbian.
from Jay and borrow money from her?
Not a lesbian? why did you want gifts
why did you tell all to the other?
You pretend to be a lesbian and took advantage.
Hey! I haven't forced her. She did them willingly.
Stand still. why your skirts are short?
what? Having a party? why everywhere in your body?
Help.
wow... wow... Poor. Caress me in front of many.
Ella Kwan! Come here.
No, Miss Lau.
Go now.
Thanks, Yoyo!
Don't mention it. Marry me and let me caress you.
Anybody? Anybody inside?
So coincident...
Hey. Scream for what?
Do you want everyone in school knows?
- well... - Come...
Have a shower.
Give me a towel...
Mr. Cheung, have you fixed the tap yet?
Is Mr. Cheung inside?
Nearly fix it.
why is Mr. Cheung inside?
Mr. Cheung is here. Miss,
can we have a shower?
Not yet. Give Mr. Cheung time to fix the tap.
Okay. It's fixed.
Look! It's fixed!
Mr. Cheung, I want to talk to you. Come here.
I want to say...
well. I知 not intended.
I知 really not intended.
I知 willing to do anything for you if I could.
Don't scream
aloud next time.
Sorry. I couldn't control myself. I知 nervous.
Any compensation is okay?
Sure, tell me.
H'm.
I want your...
apology. You did not give me any apology.
Yeah. well. I haven't given you an apology.
well. I now formally say...
You alright? Alright?
Sorry... I知 sorry.
I forget to say sorry.
But... next time,
remember, close the door.
Let me help you close the door.
You scream loud again.
l...
Snake!
Calm down... Ask somebody to call the police.
Miss Lee. Calm down... Calm down...
we've called the police and officers from
the Fishery & Agricultural Department to capture the snake...
we can't wait. Save Miss Lee right now.
It's golden time to show male bravery.
Look! Your husband holds Miss Lee tightly.
Mr. Cheung. Don't let it go.
The officers are coming.
But Miss Lee, you can keep off.
Miss Lee, are you alright?
- Are you okay? - we're okay?
- Did you call the police? - we did.
winnie and Betty had called the police.
Do you know everyone in school is talking about us?
I know. They're talking about us. I know.
Do you know what I知 talking?
I know. Talking about our school.
No, they talk about us.
H'm, I知 not without suitor.
And a doctor is chasing after me.
Ah! Excuse me, teachers. we are decorating the notice board.
Enjoy your chat, and we'll keep our mouth closed.
Okay...
Sister, do you want to see me?
Ah. Do you mind I view you from such a high angle?
Ah, no.
I haven't talked to any person from
such a high angle for a long time.
Don't think I just hide in the library
and know nothing.
well, I知 very meddlesome.
I pay attention to any single thing happens in school.
Attention! Even it's a minor matter, I know it in details.
I know Miss Lee likes you.
You're matched. Do you think so?
Actually I don't object.
Our school is 50 years old.
Exactly half a century, it never
really nurtures a beautiful love story.
I hope you and Miss Lee can compose a moving story.
Attention! It must be moving.
Give me your hand.
Promise me.
It must be moving.
- Hi! - Hi!
Are you free this Saturday?
want to date with me?
Um... this Saturday...
I don't think I知 free this Saturday.
Ah! Forget about it.
wait... I mean...
H'm, I mean... My schedule is busy,
but I forget why I知 busy.
Therefore, it doesn't matter why I知 not free.
In other words, I mean I知 free.
- Hey, darling! - what's up?
Everyone in school knows about your affair with Miss Lee.
Are you jealous, darling?
Shit, I知 open-minded.
Really?
I absolutely support your extramarital affair.
- Really? - Sure!
Hey, what's your opinion on her?
She fits to be your mistress.
l mean the one between us.
H'm! How about your lover Kelvin?
- He dates with me tonight. - where?
Going shopping.
- Going shopping? - Yes.
- It's your first date with him. - Yes.
Anyway, be careful.
worry me?
Stupid. It's men that lose right now.
Okay.
Hey? where are you? All of us are waiting for you.
I nearly arrive.
All of us are waiting for you. Do you know?
Many people awaiting us?
Come in. Then talk.
Hey! You've arrived.
why are you so late?
Hey! Sit down first.
All have arrived.
Now I announce the theme of this month's meeting -
''Miss Flat Busts'' competition formally begins.
Bravo! Nominators,
please bring out your nominees.
Joe, first.
Yeah!
Hello everybody! My name is Ada.
Yeah!
It's PauI痴 turn.
Yeah! My name is Jinie.
The last one is Kelvin.
Yeah. My name is Yoyo.
Yeah!
Come over here and look.
Judge who
should be ousted first?
I think it's Jinie.
I also think so. It's Jinie.
Jinie is ousted.
Quiet. Only Yoyo and Ada are left behind.
- I think it should be Yoyo. - I think should be Ada.
- Yo Yo... - Ada...
Silent. Measure them.
Yoyo's busts are smaller by 0.5 cm.
Yeah!
Tonight winner is Yoyo!
Bravo.
Toast...
Yoyo, are you okay?
I知 fine.
- Come and toast... - Toast!
Continue!
we've come to the outdoor eatery. what would like to order?
Beef congee. Sampan congee.
Come on. Play with me. 007, load the bullets.
007, firewall.
Ah! You lose. Drink...
I drink...
Hey? Miss Lee.
Ah... now?
Okay... No problem...
I知 coming...
Hello!
I致e opened the door. You need not ring the bell.
Ah! Sorry. I知 not impatient.
But I just like ringing the bell.
I should have opened the door later. Come in please.
It's a bit untidy.
It's cute.
Right. Very cute indeed. My sister likes it best.
well. I live with my sister.
why there is only a single bed?
Right! One bed, because...
I致e a psychological illness, called ''bed-phobia''.
Look! I値l shiver when I sleep on it. So I sleep on sofa.
There're only ten cases worldwide.
Unfortunately. I知 one of them.
well. Miss Lee, did you jog?
Right! I知 confused,
so I jogged to relax.
well? May I ask what do you want?
Are you okay? I pick you to home.
Nothing. Nothing...
I致e great fun tonight.
Bravo. I知 very happy.
Yoyo, I知 sorry.
why did you say sorry? I知 okay. I知 happy.
I think we've overdone tonight. Sorry.
we're young. Don't say such thing.
Just going out for fun. It's expected.
Call me out next time if there's anything funny.
Yoyo, ask you something.
Do you like me?
Sure. Love you to death... Do you believe it?
I know I致e mistaken.
well you're not my type.
well I like another type.
I like mature
and plain guys.
And you, no way
I feel at ease now.
And I leave now.
- Bye. - Bye.
Bye.
Anyway. we should make it clear.
Everyone in school thinks we're couple.
Sister also said we're a good match.
why do you treat me indifferently?
well...
what? If it's a game, I surrender.
I know I知 not good enough.
well, I pretend to be cool, but I want...
well, I...
what sound is it?
Nothing.
Close you eyes first.
well. I致e a mystical gift ready for you.
Remember! Don't open your eyes.
Do me a favour. Don't show up tonight. Okay?
Mr. Cheung.
Don't make any noise, please!
Are you talking to me?
Okay. Coming. wait a while. Don't move.
I beg you in the name of your husband. Do me a favour.
I call you later...
You can open your eyes wide.
You said you've a gift for me?
Do you feel surprised?
why do I give you a kettle (trouble)?
It's because I致e been giving you many troubles.
Very troublesome (kettle).
Thank you.
It's the first time I receive such a romantic kettle.
Bye.
You hide there? I almost couldn't see you.
Actually you don't want to see me.
You're drunk.
what's up? Did you feel happy with Kelvin?
Come inside.
I like standing in the rain. Leave me alone.
The rain is very heavy.
what's up? Are you unhappy?
You've progress. You begin to understand women.
who hurts you?
what has he done on you? Tell me.
Cheung...
Am I a lovely girl?
I get to tell you...
Answer me now.
Come inside.
Answer me now.
well. You're so lovely.
You're lying.
I知 used to think I知 very attractive and beautiful.
No one says ''no'' if I say ''yes''.
Don't blame yourself. Every woman thinks so.
I really feel painful.
I致e just known what is heartbroken.
It really painful here.
Everyone experiences heartbroken.
It's a matter of time.
I used to think I wouldn't because I知 beautiful.
Do you really love him?
Don't ask me.
I don't know what love is.
If you get rejected
by someone you love,
your heart really feels painful.
Got hurt seriously.
Help! Somebody gets hurt.
Don't come here.
I don't come over there. But you come here.
You'll catch a cold. Come here.
Haven't you ever heard it?
Love is like a cold.
Very cold...
You get a fever.
I feel very cold. I feel very cold indeed.
Do you feel better?
Very cold.
Do you feel better?
Very cold.
Calm down...
My grandma said it'll be fine after sweating.
Very cold.
Alright?
I still feel very cold.
- The last blanket. Calm down. - Very cold...
Calm down.
Alright? Feel warmer?
- Not warmer? - Very cold.
Tightly, please?
How about this?
Tighter...
It's tight.
- Aside, please. - Okay.
Eat the congee.
No.
You've just recovered. Doctor said you should eat more. Come on.
It's hot. Freeze it in the fridge.
Hey... stronger.
Too strong. Damn you.
You requested me.
- Gentler? - Okay.
what's up?
It'll be troublesome if we get seen.
I kiss you. You're nice to me
when I got sick.
So I prepare a dinner for you.
I don't want.
what do you like to eat? I pick them.
Buy that one. That one is cheaper. It's worth buying.
I can't have dinner with you tonight.
I致e an appointment with my ex-classmates.
U-mates?
No, my classmates from secondary school. I knew them before I studied in Britain.
I go, too.
No. They're over thirty.
Some are older than me by 2 to 3 years. There's a generation gap.
Really?
Cheat you for what?
Believe it or not. Three years ago,
my It firm has a market cap of 800 million dollars.
I think I知 the second Bill Gates.
Now not a Bill Gates anymore, but Bill Gone.
Cheung, if you had returned earlier,
you might have lived in one of
my apartment, but now only
my wife remains.
well, am I not good enough?
Cheung. How are you?
Have you finished your master's degree?
Did you marry?
I can say I致e one.
what do you mean? Co-habitation or she's still in Britain?
why don't you introduce her to us?
She... not very convenient.
Physically inconvenient?
Darling.
Hello! Everybody! Sorry for late.
I壇 had my hair styling for so long.
I almost couldn't come.
Darling, do you like my new look?
Ha... l... like to watch wong Kar wai's films recently.
Madam, have a seat...
what are you talking about?
I壇 watched TV news before I come.
what are your opinions
On Chief Executive's policy?
And who knows
Dow Jones Index at?
Do you know about Einstein's relativity?
I致e read his book in the past. He said...
Oh! we live in this earth.
But the fact is more than one earth exists in other world.
I知 here, and I知 also there.
And there is another me in that world.
Like there is a spoon here,
and there's another one in other world.
In fact I don't quite understand.
And I don't know
what I知 talking about.
well? Are you a policeman?
The government officials have their salary cut recently?
well. I think I壇 behaved more mature
and more attractive.
Like a monkey, learn to be an adult.
I知 eighteen.
Eighteen. Ridiculous.
Look! Like what?
A teenager.
You... Am I not attractive now?
Not a bit of attractiveness at eighteen.
How about this? Attractive or not?
Not.
Look clearly. Not attractive?
Calm down.
No. Not even a bit. No.
Though we're married couple,
and live together, but...
Can we remove the blanket?
It's not good. l...
I feel more secured if there's a blanket.
Ah! I致e an idea.
Can I switch off the light?
Hey. I can see it.
You can close your eyes if you don't want to see it.
Oops. Okay. Okay.
what? Don't laugh aloud.
I feel happy when laughing loudly.
You...
Not yet.
Old practice.
- l... - what's the old practice?
I am not used to be under.
why?
No reason.
Oops. You're annoying.
Hey! Can we take turns?
Later.
- Hey! - what?
why don't we chat?
I couldn't talk.
why? Sing a song.
You sing for me.
I forget to tell you...
what...
It's my first time.
I don't believe you. You know much,
how could it be your first time?
I always watch the movies, and imitate.
I知 kidding.
Really.
Really?
Really your first time?
then l...
It doesn't matter. I don't blame you.
we can't. wow. Damn...
what?
Sorry!
what? Have a word on it.
I promise you anything.
I want...
So quick?
Laugh again. Can you be calmer?
Hey. why are you naked?
why did you get up early?
wear the clothes.
I don't feel cold.
It's not a matter of feeling cold or not.
well, we've seen our body last night. Shy?
How come you go naked though?
I used to go naked and walk around before you came.
Have you closed the curtain?
An elderly woman lives in our opposites.
Afraid what? I watch her as well.
Not all units are accommodated by the elderly woman!
A big loss. Come. Come here.
If you're naked or dress sexy next time,
close the curtain, please.
why?
why? we last night, you know.
You know it even if I don't tell you.
After you've unwrapped a gift,
will you rewrap it again?
Of course, I値l.
I won't.
Look. I致e wrapped.
Is it better?
Certainly feel better.
Unwrap, then wrap it.
I値l derive new excitement from unwrapping next time.
You can have new excitement from other gift.
I値l record your words.
This is the culture of new generation.
Miss Lee?
Today?
l... forgot.
No... I remembered. but...
something happens suddenly... and I forget.
Psychologists called it ''substitute memory loss''.
I知 sorry. Are you waiting for me?
Sorry. I couldn't come.
Bye.
what?
I said it's my first time last night.
Do you believe me?
Sure. You need not deceive me.
I just want to...
make you happy, and be soft to me...
But... Not right. Last night...
It's not hard to pretend.
Did you make love with a virgin?
It's the first time last night.
Right now many teenagers in Hong Kong
have sex experience.
Go now.
where?
Leave and date with Miss Lee...
l...
I知 okay. Really.
If you don't go, she will go away.
Do you mind coming to such a place with me?
No, I don't.
My mum said it'd be better to know earlier if we're matched.
Elders' words are worth respecting.
Excuse me, I致e just chatted with my client through lCQ.
Please write down your birthday and birth time.
Here you're. Master.
Tell me whether we're a good match.
Lady first.
You're born in 1979,
the year of sheep, and now 23.
Based on your birthday and time,
you're still a virgin this year.
I teach physical education.
Non-human factor is beyond my control.
I say according to the old books.
Mr. Cheung, you're lucky.
Right now it's not different to get...
Tell other thing.
Regarding you, you're thirty.
Born in 1972, the year of mouse.
YOU...
what's problem, master?
Do you mind if I speak frankly?
Is he a virgin as well?
I come here for fortune telling. Be honest to me.
Mr. Cheung, you've got married this year.
And it was 2 months ago.
He's just come back from Britain. Is there any time gap?
The time gap is 7 hours only.
And it was 2 months ago.
And you wife is younger than you by 12 years.
He's lying. Shall we leave...
- Mr. Cheung. - No, he's efficacious...
He's a liar. Don't believe him. Let's get away.
- He... - He tells nonsense. Go now.
But he's efficacious on reading me.
Your face has already told him.
No, anyway. I should pay him money.
You're a good person.
wait for me outside.
Master...
- I haven't deceived you. - I know...
I know... but I致e a reason. I知 sorry.
This is your reward.
Enough...
It's unthinkable that you get a very big reason.
That virgin is a good girl. Don't deceive her.
I know, but I can't accept...
- Goodbye... - Goodbye...
what's up?
Sit down.
Miss Lee, do you like Mr. Cheung?
It's an adult business. Very complicated.
This bracelet is important to Mr. Cheung.
You wear it. He'll understand.
But be careful. This bracelet has been broken.
why can you keep
Mr. Cheung's important thing?
I sincerely think you're a good match.
I知 serious. You're matched indeed.
Yo Yo...
You gave my bracket to Miss Lee?
Yes, I never wear something broken.
Broken thing?
My grandma told me to give you when she's dying.
Your grandma told you to give it to her granddaughter-in-law.
what do you mean?
Because we're not matched.
''Having sex'' does not stand for anything.
You should know you like something durable and forever,
and keep them in your whole life,
and will pass them to your son.
But I知 not durable,
I like fashionable, fine things.
Let the past die. No problem.
Just like today's popular sports shoes.
You see the sports shoes are everywhere in my apartment.
what do you want? what are you talking about?
You don't understand?
I don't.
I mean...
I think you're old.
From the beginning to the end,
I think you're old. You know it.
But I think it's just a game.
It doesn't matter.
You're not serious?
Do I have to kick you into the sea to awake you?
Mr. Cheung, I don't know what bothers you.
we're men. Tell me.
You'll feel more comfortable even if I can't help.
It's about... Is it related to Miss Lee?
Love one only in
one's life is romantic,
but I love more than one...
If more than one... what do you think?
More than one...
would it be happier
if a man has more women?
You're a man as well, what do you think?
I think if not sincere,
more would be better.
I understand.
But...
But on your first day in school,
when you gave speech,
l...
fell in love with you.
I feel very annoyed with two women.
And I just want to chat with you.
But you...
I understand.
But I want to say if one day,
your two women don't love you anymore,
give me a chance.
we've arrived.
- Bye... - Bye.
- Thanks. - Don't mention it.
Do you want to talk to me?
well.
I want... a more formal...
Goodbye kiss!
well, both of us are men, so I want to be honest.
Bye.
Eh? Let's have an embrace.
what?
Embrace.
Thanks.
Remember, pick a woman you truly love.
Our school is 50 years old.
This year is our 50th anniversary celebration.
I want to announce good news.
we women are meddlesome by nature.
Everyone knows the affair
between Miss Lee and Mr. Cheung.
Miss Lee is a graduate of our school.
And she teaches in her mother school.
Just like a daughter in our school.
Today our school should bless Mr. Cheung and her.
Sister, I have a few words to say.
Sister, I really have a few words.
Do you want to propose marriage openly?
Everybody...
I致e got married.
Sister.
Sorry, Miss Lee.
You now understood why I keep you at an arm's length.
Yoyo, I値l do any stupid thing for you.
what are you doing? This is school. Get out.
Though you got married,
I still hope you accept my love.
l... beg you give Yoyo back to me.
Just in time. Leung, you come just right.
Come over here, I want to tell you
Yoyo and I got married. we got the certificate.
Mr. Cheung, how honest you are!
Disband. Disband...
wait.
- Is it real? - This is real.
Mr. Cheung and I got married in Britain.
But it's just a game.
what?
I知 young,
and I don't think it's appropriate for a student.
It affects my studies.
Moreover, the lover should not be a teacher.
Miss Lee, I bless you forever.
Yo Yo...
Don't come close to me. Or I値l kick you into the sea again.
Yo Yo...
I知 sorry.
I hate you forever.
Leung.
where's Yoyo?
She'll go home after you've left.
what does this mean?
Both of us are losers,
worse than being kicked into the sea.
Are you alright?
I知 hungry, so want to buy a hamburger in McDonald.
we're very sad.
Let's have a tea. It's on me.
Good idea.
Yo Yo, though we couldn't become married couple finally,
I still thank you for your love. Cheung.
I壇 like to have a ticket to London and board immediately.
The economy class is full.
I致e money. Business class, please.
Lady, tonight's flight is full.
Business class is also full, except first class.
First class is okay. Price doesn't matter. I致e money.
The ticket fee for first class is 69,176.
Pay by credit card or cash.
I just want to enquire, thanks a lot.
Thanks.
Mr. Cheung, I知 afraid l can't accept this case study on Yoyo.
You're gotta fail me again?
l think Yoyo is a subsistent character you've created by yourself.
But frankly, I壇 rather enjoy reading your... novel.
Mr. Cheung, personally...
Darling! where are you?
Darling!
Do you really use me to do a thesis topic?
Hello!
Hello...
My name is Yo Yo Ma.
It's me.
Am I beautiful?
You, don't make him fail.
If you fail him,
our relationship will as well.
I知 his wife.
I知 eighteen only.
He's thirty.
I find him important when he left me.
Look! This is our marriage certificate. I致e stuck them together.
I致e erased the divorce agreement. Look!
I... want to become your wife.
I want to become your wife.
No way. I want to become your husband.
Mr. Cheung, what about your paper?
I don't care anymore.
- Don't step on the grass. - You've long stayed here.
That's why you're conservative and dull.
I like stepping on it. Does it for the cows only?
Cheung, you've passed.
The woman examiners let you pass. Did you know?
I致e passed? Yeah...
Bravo.
Ah! Let me get a young girl to activate me.
what...
Mrs. Doctor.
Not a doctor, but a master.
It doesn't matter.
I want to do a topic on my Ph.D. thesis.
It's about baby.
what?
It's your job. Bear a baby for my research.
Are you crazy? Ask a blonde to bear a baby for you.
I go to get a blonde.
How dare are you? You dare to get a blonde.
You get a blond boy, and I get a blond girl.