(playing optimistic intro)
(exploding fireworks)
(car engine rumbles)
-Oh, damn it.
-Is this the-- Is this the right site?
-Yes dear. This is site 16, as usual.
-Yes, Tommy, what happened? -Do you call me "Father"?
-Pops: Franklin? -Yes?
- Are you sure You ordered this for us? -Right.
I ordered the last available site
I got permission here. Site 16, July 4 week.
-Felipa. (speaks Spanish)
-I just thought that there was already a little mixed up, Papi, so--
-Buenos tardes, amigos! Word, bitch -What do you call a bitch? -I am kidding. I am kidding.
Just trying to break up racial tension here, that's all.
Maybe it sucks is rather difficult -A little. -Yes.
So what happened? Sure enough we booked this site over the weekend.
-No no. We are a Jones family. -Yes.
-We ordered site 16. - (chuckles)
Good now, we are the family of Jonas and this is our site.
-Son, we're on site 16. -No.
-All: We are on site 16.
-You might be 116, but we're definitely 16.
It's here on paper, is good?
- (speaks Spanish)
-Uno, dos, tres, quatro-- -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
-That's level two, honey, that's good. This is 16
-I don't know how that is. -We are 16.
-Yes I know, but we are site 16.
-16, man Come on. -Hold. So--
Jones, Jonas, and our last name is Jones too. Well, there is a mixture.
-What do you want to say, what is our master or what?
-No, no, don't say-- I almost don't even have a cat.
-Site 16!
-Wait a minute! - (all argue)
-2,000 and 3,000.
But we must be 16. It says here on paper.
-Also site 16!
- (continue to argue)
-Okay, um, so, It looks like the name "Jones"
somewhat confuses the computer.
And, uh, unfortunately, is a big problem,
because the park is completely sold out.
I mean, this, like, our biggest weekend this year.
-Hey, maybe that's because is July 4th.
-What, yes, alright, you know, we think that is a factor.
- Come on, you guys. Please beg, please, let's not improve this.
How about sharing a site?
- (all protest)
-Everyone stops!
-But, you will only stand there and let them drive us around like that?
-No no, I won't let that happen, okay? Let me tell you something.
I will have Jesse Jackson Here is a moped,
with Al Sharpton in sidecar
OK? They like that kind of nonsense.
-Ooh! It only increases. -Yes.
That definitely increases,
which is just the opposite from what he expected You will do it.
-Sir, if sharing site is the only choice, then--
This weekend is important. I say we all only share the site
-Oh, kid, Are you out of your fucking mind?
- Come on, Pop, there's kids here-- -We won't share--
- (all argue)
- None - There isn't enough space!
- Daddy? Do we have to go home?
-Charlie: Good. Okay, so - so -
Maybe we can share. -Yes!
All right, so we will all share
And it will be great!
-All right. A little rough start,
but this weekend will be great - (chuckles)
Yes, I hope so.
You know, this is the first time that we've all been together since you and I got married.
I only want your children to love my children and my children like you.
There is no reason we cannot one big and happy family.
- The speech was sucked. - Ball tucked
-Wow. -Yeah, yes, he is right. It's really whiny.
I don't believe that we are brothers.
-Hey, Gravy, why don't you take this to the camp?
-Oh, no, my hands are full I have to go, I have to--
-Hey, Thomas, are you disassembling my turtle shells?
-Yeah, here.
Can you call me "Father"? -Not now.
Thank you, Tommy. Hi friends, check out my new turtle shells!
- Give time, honey Oh, do you think You can get Sharni stop calling me "fake mom"?
-He doesn't call you "Fake mother".
-Oh, did you do that? You did that
-Yeah, no, no I will try. -Thank you.
-Man! Sharing this site is a nonsense idea, Felipa.
-We did this for Papi's birthday.
Try to continue together for him.
-You might think we will see Papi's smile for once in her fucking life?
- (sighs) He works hard, and he's worried about us.
-What, he can't worry and smile at the same time?
Hey, I bet if you ever smile, his face will creak.
Sounds like a nail pulled from wood (imitates creaking)
-We might hear his face go away, "Oilcan! Oilcan!"
-Ha ha ha. Maybe he will smile more
If you stop playing around and go to work for Rolando.
-as a plumber?
Eh, no, Felipa. That is a living nightmare.
- That's honest work.
- Looks like, look, It doesn't even matter.
I say, one day, I will become a millionaire.
-Oh! You will win the lottery
- Don't win if I don't scratch.
Plus, I'll get my ass on "Shark Tank"
and for Mark Cuban my new friend - (chuckles)
-How, when did you become a millionaire,
maybe you can pay me back 75 dollars I lent you.
-Ah! Mmm-hmm. -Yeah, you have to
fill in all types of documents and taxes and so on.
Maybe it's not feasible, bro, so, maybe not
-Hey, do you go open car? -I did it.
-Do you see Fake Mom telling me how to unpack,
like he's my boss or something?
-Hey, honey, Sharni, You shouldn't call him "Fake mother".
I'm glad Dad remarried.
She's much happier, which makes her escape from my ass.
I think he's great for him.
-Yeah, well, fake mother said you drink too much
-Make Mom can blow my ball. He said that? -Yes.
-That's bullshit.
Is it 24 hours Chicken popeyes
-Uh, no That's Porta Potty.
-I like chicken. More than you.
-Ah, screw.
- (children fighting) - (snoring)
-Whoo! You kids stay there
with your Pokemon Go play alone!
-Girl, you are very crazy -Girl, I'm very tired running around after kids
I need this vacation.
-This is beautiful here -This, isn't it?
dear, you will like it my brother Franklin
All I have to say is,
delay having children as long as you can.
Because they will suck life from you I mean, it's like sticking a vacuum cleaner in a pumpkin, only--
(knockoff suck)
-What are you saying, Mama? -Must suck everything - huh? Hah?
Dear, nothing is happening Mama loves you Lasts. Go play.
-Wait. Hold it. Are you saying that you invited me?
as a kind of blind date for Franklin
-Girl, no, no, no! We enjoy your company.
-Oh, girl, Because I will - -But this is a blind date.
-Ha, Jose, can you get the orange?
-Are you kidding me, Felipa?
No one can give another family satisfaction
watching Mexicans carrying a bag of oranges
Like I sell it on the roadside.
-Okay, are you serious? God, you sound crazy.
-Ha, excuse me!
How much do you want for the orange?
- Daddy, beat it, pendejo!
-Oh bad luck. Angry.
-Hey, Paco, Do you have roses there?
- Who asked you, Oprah?
- (clinking)
-Hei, whoa, whoa, whoa. I will take that one.
- (clinking)
Hey, what is that?
In your bag.
Yes, that's What-
-Recycled. Glass sculpture
My exhibition This is next week.
-What? Do you have an exhibition? -This is called...
"Exhibition."
-Oh, there are at least some chicas calientes to stare, huh?
-Jose! What if Francesca heard you say that
-He isn't here And we're not married yet.
Besides, just because I'm on a diet
doesn't mean I can't see the menu.
-You mean looking at the menu?
-Tuck the dollar bill to that menu?
I mean, come on! Man, he has a lot of wobbling on the road,
he can talk a rotary telephone
-Rolando: I heard them talking.
I think he came as a blind date for that Franklin person.
-words? -Word.
-What? What you just said
-Are you okay? -Not!
No, no, I'm not fine. (scorn)
Listening to you two will make people sick
Men are idiots. Blind date bullshit
-Don't let him call you that
-He also talks with you, pendejo
Are our sisters at menopause? or what?
-Ah! Jones family -Jones! -Whoa!
Chili is everywhere
-Hey, I really hope you like parks, man
I don't know what happened mixed up with this.
I know I ordered the last available site -what changed your mind about coming with us this year, huh, kid?
-What?
I like camping. All of this is me, Pops.
- Come on, Franklin. Come on, bro. That's bullshit, okay?
I hope you know this is not online camping This is actually the real thing.
-I hope you know This won't be online boxing on your face
That will be the real thing.
-You know something? I'm tired of what you say
-Ron Ron, stop it. You leave your sister alone.
-Sorry, Daddy -He must dress properly. He is a District Attorney now.
And he is trying. He might be the Mayor someday.
-Ah, I don't know about the Mayor, Pop.
-And, this weekend, we have a good young woman with us.
Shantaysia.
-What is Shantaysia? -Listen, kid.
A beautiful woman like that is on your side, doesn't know how far you can go From DA to Mayor. Commander.
(sniffing) do you smell it?
There is romance in the air.
- Are you the smell of these potties? Cursing! -I smell something.
But I don't want to say anything, Because I kind of thought that -
-Sorry, Daddy - (panting)
What is Justin Bieber?
Is the man naked? -You hope.
-Is the garbage burning?
geez. What is Charles Bronson?
-What is in the bottle?
-Komuni. -Right. So you are some creepy priest
-I am not a priest.
- Listen. Why don't you help Franklin... -No!
-... regulating a number of things? - (clears throat)
-I have to go to the ground. -Pop!
Shantay - Sharon?
-Shantaysia. -Damn, are they still doing that?
-It's chaotic. Here.
- "Shantaysia."
Come on, what's the type of disease - Shantaysia.
-Hey, bro, what are you doing? You sleep in your car
- Twin Denali makes tents.
-Bro, you are not a true camper. Hah? You can't cheat me.
You might cheat Pops, But you can't cheat me, brother. -You are right.
-You can never fool me -I don't want to fool you
-Since I already know you - Whoa! -Ah, snake!
-Ular! Snake on your shoulder! Snake on your shoulder!
-Is that not visible? I don't see anything!
Where is that? (shouting) - Ron Ron, I'm just--
Ron Ron, I only play with you I just play with you!
I only play with you, dawg.
I'm just - I'm just - what? I just, what, fool you
- (conversation is not clear)
-Chuckie: Hit that flying bastard!
-Chuckie, don't say "bastard."
-What about the bitch? -Yeah, it's not -
-Ass Slurpee? -Not. That does not.
-Ass a waffle! -Not great.
-Bitch taco? -Don't like it.
-Shit Slurpee? -Not.
-Crap-talker -I don't know.
-Ass-butch? -No - Not a fan.
-You like tit chicken. Say that -No, I don't like it
-I'm kind of like that. -I don't like the word "tit".
-Come on now. Dog Dick -Of course not "dick."
-Ass licking? -Not.
-Slurpee? -Not.
-Shit Slurpee! -Not.
-What else do you have? -Bastard!
-Mmm-- -Mmm.
You know what, that bastard is fine.
-That - that's pretty good -Yes.
-Chuckie: Hey, everybody, look! - (barks)
-I made Ocho become a turtle dog
- (laughter)
-This is the fifth Ninja turtle, Taco Bello
-Rolando: Ha, ha, ha, yeah. It's really funny, man. Now take it.
-Chuckie: I can't It's super glued.
- (singing drunk)
-Is that tejano?
- (playing jazz)
-Now this is I'm talking about
Jazz in stereo, comfortably lit.
-Dad, look, don't take offense,
But this old music made me want to put a gun on my head and shoot!
- (chuckles) Give me a minute.
I'll take a gun.
-Ha! Very good, Pop.
-When? - (laughter)
-When? -When?
Anytime
-I don't even know. -What?
-No, no, no, no, no.
You say someday someone will have an intervention for you
I'm curious. When?
-He's not suppo-- I mean, uh--
-When? -What is she talking about?
-Wait what?
I like the show, "Intervention." -What is she talking about?
-I camped together my son and my daughter, we have fun
-The wieners-- -I don't even know where is from
- My coherent brother, and - -I like it here.
- (belching) This is amazing. -That is good.
When is this intervention possible? is going?
-What are you talking about?
-Uh, son, uh--
At this time the wiener is finished.
- When will it be done? - (laugh) Yes, it will be done!
-Tell me The intervention isn't cool.
They sprung one to my friend once and I'm sure he was stabbed a bunch of his mother's cats.
- Maybe the vet was a very pleasant night that night,
wondering how are all the cats? stabbed.
-One day, I will be very rich,
I will be able to rent this damn park out.
Maybe then Papi will smile.
Oh, hey.
I only have the best million-dollar idea yet.
This is a soft drink, but for dogs
This is called "Pupsi." -What?
-Pruption! -Corruption?
Pepsi won't let you go with it -What will they do, sue me? -Yes. Get out your ass - ♪ That's a bad idea called Pupsi ♪
-You are stupid not having eyesight.
- ♪ Pupsi - ♪
- Who made you DJ? from site 16?
Turn that crap over, okay?
We try to hear old jazz here.
- (laughs)
-See they lit a fire, huh?
-What is important if their fire is greater than our fire?
-That's not important... -Thank you.
-... if that's not true
-Hey, is their fire bigger than us?
You know, we need a bigger fire.
Get the lighter liquid.
- (all shouting)
-What is this?
- (laughter bead)
-Hey, what are you doing
-What is wrong with you?
-What's wrong with you?
Are you trying to burn my baby?
-Tell 'em, honey -Yes, God!
-What is wrong with you?
- They are. Yell to them a little.
-What is it? -Felipe!
-Cool off!
My babies are sleeping, You know you understand that from Vietnam
-Why do you burn that crap?
-Hey! - The fire is still burning.
They started it. -Okay, come on, really?
-We control it. The ice is under control.
Baby--
-Yeah, you can't burn this fire!
-What are you doing?
- Open your sleep! Everyone sleeps.
-I really slept. -Open your bed!
- I'm sleepy. I will go to sleep.
I think It's time to sleep.
- (hooting owl)
- (murky)
This is bullshit
Eaten alive!
Damn ants or mosquitoes or whatever you are
Leave me alone! (grunting)
There must be a 24 hour place in the city.
God.
What was the beginning.
- (car beeps)
- (mumbles)
- (crunch) - (tire squealing)
-What is that?
Frumi pina--
Oh, my God, oh, my Lord, Lord!
-What are you doing?
-You're afraid the bullshit came out of me! -Oh, my God.
Alright alright, is not what it looks like
-You killed them both? -No, no, no, no, no!
This piece of crap hybrid doesn't make noise, and -
Alright. You have to help me bring them to the vet
You drive and I'll give them Mouth to mouth.
I mean, mouth to muzzle.
- (dog screaming)
-What are they doing for Ocho?
Who will do something like that?
-They... -Come on.
-Hey bro. Hey! What?
-What are you doing for our dogs
-Rolando: see
-No one cares about your dog. What are you talking about?
-What do you mean it's okay?
-Ron Ron: Oh, shit. Chaka!
-What are they doing to you? -What happened to my baby?
- (Ron Ron crying)
What will you try to do for my baby?
-God, bro, we don't touch your dog . You are broken us -Yeah, we love dogs, man. - Look at our dog His...
If you don't touch our dog and we don't touch your dog...
-All: Wake up, white man.
-Okay, alright, hey... Just... just listen to me.
I'm very sorry.
That (stutter) is an accident.
I swear. I (stutter) I just want some Benadryl.
(scream scream)
Crazy white people. - What man?
- (shouting) I don't know (all screaming)
-Jose: Come on, man, what are you doing?
I want a strange refund or something.
-They seem quite successful.
-Yeah, if this changes into race war,
we will issue documents for a decade
(sighs)
You are a person...
This is July 4th. This is the day we respect
how our big country was declared independence
from the king of England
- (thud) - (all gasping)
Have you ever known how about George Washington
celebrating his last win over England at Yorktown?
The big day, hmm?
He took out his troops, rations of rum rations.
Here it is We used to have...
this fierce war against tyrannical enemies
And, all we do to celebrate, is that we drink.
Four fingers of liquor. Instead of two.
(inhale)
(keep sipping)
It's about martinis and half.
If you are wondering Four fingers.
Today...
If a child happens to throw his poopy diaper
into inhibiting, parents, they go ape-shit,
and they throw the kid a party, and give him a PlayStation.
(mumbles)
-Charlie: God, he drinks like me.
(woman groans on computer)
Aah!
-I don't really see...
This problem between you people as a problem
I see it as an opportunity to go
from July 4th has become.
Which, let's face it several days off work
for all lazy people
We have become a nation from people who are soft, swollen, pussy.
And, we have forgotten the sacrifice
who has come before us
And, in my opinion, anyone who wants to camp site 16...
you have to be fuckin ' fighting for it
-Wait a minute, you're talking about cannons, muskets and dirt?
You're crazy. -All: Mm-hmm.
-Hah, I retire in a week and half,
and I don't care, Alright?
You don't need to use weapons and knives. Only...
Have a contest.
Whatever the family won the contest,
they can kick two other family donkeys out of the park.
How about that?
You don't get cheese with your wine around here So, if I were you, I would be so dedicated to getting it.
The cause is active
All of this is a mess, and we apologize for that
We were told to help with the contest, and...
That is the fault of the park. -Yeah, good.
-Wow. This is very good The pigs are very helpful.
-Sorry? -Tommy: Uh, no, it's okay.
He just said that the cloud
-No, I don't. I said...
(groaning)
-He, uh... He has spiders on the zipper there.
- (groaning) Thank you!
-Thank you, guys Hey, gravy.
-Tony: He deserves it. -Kelly: Yes, seriously.
-So, we do this contest?
-Oh, yes, we do this.
What's wrong, old man? You are scared -Fear? Not.
Just sad. -Oh!
Sad for you and all these other losers.
-Children.
We mark an area for you to play in
Don't leave this area for any reason
-What if we get hit by with lightning?
-Try not to.
-What if we see an ice cream truck?
-Try not to. -Daddy?
How long do we have to stay here?
- Only when adults are inactive, do adult things
-Yes, I started new brother
-Uh...
Not adult things like that.
(screeching toy)
-Okay, kids, have fun. Hey, don't poke your eyes.
Peace out
- (bisikan) Felipa: Hi.
- (dog barking) -Oh, hmm...
-I don't know what to say. -Well, usually you can find it
all the right words in the courtroom
-I think bringing our family together here, will...
our chance to, you know, stop the news
-Wait... You did this intentionally?
-Yeah, somewhat, a little.
I mean, it's easy Because our names are very similar.
Jones. Jonas.
I didn't expect the white Jones family to appear.
Man, I messed things up. It's my fault, I'm sorry.
-So, who is he? Who is it?
-You know who I'm talking about
-Who, Fantasia? I don't know the girl.
-Shantaysia, why is he here? -I don't know him
He is my father's idea.
I am not... This is my first time ever seen it.
Stop. Come on.
You know I love you. Stop.
Anyway, look, I have a plan.
I will make sure we win the race.
And, then, I will convince my father to let you... your family live,
and we will get rid of it white family
They will kick stones.
-What if your family? not win
-Felipa...
Stop smoking.
We are black, we will win.
Mexicans are quite athletic, too. What about like...
Oh, you will lose badly. You will be very bad.
- (ice cream truck playing music)
-Hey, guys, I think I heard an ice cream truck
-Wait, but, we can't leave this area
-So, screw it, it's ice cream
- (all cheering)
-Man: Look at these people.
They are like vultures.
-They are standing around watching us fight between us.
-Don't think they're fair here have fun?
-No.
This is far greater than the three crazy donkeys.
How about a bigger? -Oh, you think about it, bud.
International sports, you root for your country
-Yes.
-School sports, you root for your school
-Yes.
These people are rooted in their race -Oh, you don't know that -Good. Truth or challenge?
I will answer a question, if you answer a question
-Good. -Rightly.
-All right. -OK.
Now, when you first go here,
and you see that There are two families here.
Now, are you crazy There are two families here?
Or, are you crazy we are not white?
-Yeah, alright, you know... Honestly
when I drive here, I'm a little nervous.
But that's because I don't know what will happen.
-Well, I feel the same way. And, that's a racism textbook.
-You can't say I'm racist
only because I don't know what to expect
I already have a lot of great experiences with...
other races, and some not so big.
-Yeah, forgive me I can't help myself from hearing it.
(stutter) You must know that...
our family is nothing like that at all
Actually, I am a total wigger back in high school
My hair is braided and everything.
You remember that -Yeah, that's very funny.
-What is a wigger?
-This is just an term for children...
try to be hard and sound cool.
- Good now, that means.
But...
What is the acronym? Acronyms?
-Yeah, like the word smog.
This is a combination of words smoke and fog
That's an acronym.
What are the words of wigger? is an acronym?
Now that's easy.
This is... It's a combination of, mash up, if you want,
(stutter) words...
white...
-White. -and...
uh...
-Good.
I mean, you know, you guys got hit with...
-honky, hick, cracker, -Hey!
-peckerwood, redneck, -Hey!
white bastard, white demon. -Hey!
-But, the word "N", which cuts straight through chaos
- Yes, fine, once you say that, this is quite a lot of games over.
You're right.
-Good away, kid. It's done well. -I'm happy to be able to help.
-But, I still don't agree with You are these people here
is rooting for their own race. -Hey!
(speaks Spanish)
-Jose: We have this, baby
Black and white down like zebras that are knocked out.
Yes, maybe you are right.
- (ice cream truck playing music)
-Boy: I heard it, I heard it. Ice cream.
- (all shouting)
-Boy: ice cream!
-Hey, I'm sorry I'm late -Hey, Franklin. OK. Mmm.
You know, I like that look...
The glint of the victory in your eyes.
-Yeah, we will win, Pop.
And, we will kick a family out of here
-Oh yeah. Right. You know... Where is Shantaysia?
Shantaysia... (stuttering) You know old Franklin is here
is a song star in high school. Shantaysia, come on.
-One time, I ate 37 eggs in six minutes, come on.
I mean it's impossible, you know.
Are you proud of me, Father? Are you going to brag about that?
-Proud from you, kid. Not arrogant like I'm Franklin here.
Ron Ron: what? -That's a joke.
-He messed with you Jokes
-What?
-I said Keko's titty went bankrupt. -Yeah, I think you said that.
- Let's do it. -Uh, you know what...
You will enjoy your pee contest but I'm out of here
-You want to go?
-Yeah, I want to go find Shantaysia
-Both: Keko, Felipa.
-This is our contest choice and it's called Potty Carry.
That's right.
One person enters from each
and the rest we carry.
And the winner is one
who's crossing the finish line first
The finish line is far enough, man.
-Dude, don't sweat, man. We really have this
Mexicans will take this hands down.
Hey, Papi.
Papi, we will start race, will you come cheer up?
-Do your father ever smile?
-No. -You mean, "Darth Valdez"?
-Hah.
-I even know what the smile is?
- I bet you can't say it said "Chuck E. Cheese."
Your face makes it stop at "Chuck."
-He may need a fake ID only to buy "Happy Meal."
-Jose: Wow That's good. OK.
Alright. That's pretty funny, but, uh...
You know, he is still my father, so can you cut it?
-Well, you know, come on, let's get this potties room out,
and the race starts. I mean, we stand around...
Let me just drag this one. Out of the way, huh?
Good. So, I will take this one.
- Are you sure, Daddy? These things are rather heavy.
-Charlie, I've been a firefighter for years, you know
I have saved babies from windows and fiery buildings, you know
Come on. Come on, put this on my back.
-I guess. -Let's go.
This... I can only... I understand.
- (shout)
Charlie, take it from me. Let me go.
- (all screaming) -We got this We have this, Father.
(groaning)
-Yeah, maybe we should shift it.
- (playing ice cream trucks)
- (all shouting)
-I don't like this I had a bad day.
I hate children. You ruined my life - (squeaky tires)
-Ron Ron: The main problem is
get this toilet above the cliff.
But, fortunately, Ron Ron got the idea.
-Pops: what?
-All we need to do is swing this potty using a rope.
We need to put the rope through the obstacle,
above the toilet and, then, Throw the rope to the branch.
And, then, we swing the toilet above the cliff.
Come on. -That is a good idea.
We have to take some rope. -Oh, Daddy, look at this
I got it. taken care of.
-See that. -Waste.
-I am smart from Franklin now, right?
-No.
- She's right, man. The rope will make it easier.
-Sharni, take the rope. -Ok, I get it.
- Daddy. -We are ready to go.
We can't wait. -No, no, don't start
Come on, let's start. -Wait! Wait.
-Wait wait. -Get it on your sign,
set, go! -Wait! Wait.
Oh come on. - (dramatic music playback)
-Jose: Uh-uh, it's still a dream ' blondie, the rope is mine -Sharni: No, I saw it first. -Jose: Hello, open it.
We want to borrow your clothing line
-It's kind of funny. -Open. We want to borrow...
your clothes line
-Yeah, you know, continues to tap
People like Mexicans on their doors -Ha-ha, very funny, "Blow White."
Hello.
Will see how much you laugh when the rope is mine -Hey what are you doing up there?
-Have this damn line of clothes. -Oh, shit.
- (Jose yells)
(Jose's scream echoed)
-Tommy: I don't know.
- (cursing and groaning in Spain)
-Sharni: Come on this way. -Tommy: What is that?
- (Jose screaming)
(Jose speaks Spanish)
-Franklin: Hey, where is everyone going?
Pop?
Ron Ron?
Do we win?
-Sharni: come on, come on. - (Jose speaks Spanish)
-Charlie: What happened?
-He has a TV antenna that is jammed inside him
-Where? - (Jose groaning)
-Tommy: We need to take it to the hospital
- Okay, let's use my car -Wait, wait, we will get him in that
-Sharni: this
- (screaming) what are you doing in hell ?
-Bactine. It's fierce like annoying, but...
- (cursing and groaning in Spain)
-No! No more, you fucking idiot - (all screaming)
-Charlie: Everyone, stop! - (Jose panting)
-Do you get an NFL package?
- (cursing and groaning in Spain)
-Tommy: We won't Take him to the pussy car.
- Come take him in Franklin's car
-Charlie: I'm here -Sharni: come on
You understand You understand
-Tommy: Put him inside. -Charlie: That's it.
Let's push him. -OK.
-All: One, two... -Jose: No...
-All: three. - (Jose screaming)
(Jose screaming)
-It's really wrong.
-Tommy: Yes, hanging tight.
-Well, alright. Let's go. Come on. Vamanos.
- (all screaming)
- (Jose yells)
-So, what do you do number one or number two?
-What? Go adult.
-You look like a pinata.
-And, you see the first one the donkey I will beat
if you don't go and get an adult
-I didn't say you were one of them, I said you look like that.
-I, I really scold you and you are not even my child.
-Woah, just relax, perv.
-I think you kids lock down
How can you get out of your area?
-You didn't answer me Number one or number two?
-Why do you want to know? Chuckie, that's evil.
Ask adults, I can die.
-No no. -Okay, yeah.
- Please, this isn't practice.
This is "red code". You know a "red code."...
Oh, you go to public school. You know nothing.
God. I hate children. And, I hate camping.
-Rolando: Hey guys, hurry up. Come on, say hi to Mom. Come on.
-All: Hey, Mom -Cheese.
-Yo. Yes, I am fine.
Yo, I'm lucky That's hard, but I'm good.
Hey...
Doctors say my love handles like a teenager.
Yes, don't worry.
You will only be here yourself, you know
There is no family to talk to.
-Sesuatu to think about, mijo.
-Felipa: okay -Aunt Felipa, I can't move.
-Yes, but you are safe Have fun.
-Mind if I'm sitting -Sure.
-This is a beautiful mantis. -I will kill him
-You know, kids don't see race
-That's correct. It seems like they learned it from an adult
Children can be a few people.
I used to think so I want a lot of them,
But after this weekend, I thought I will only get another cat.
-Boy: Hey where?
-Girl: It's there, it's just moving
-Felipa: Now, that... This is a prayer...
This is just a dirty bug. Just put it.
Oh, you know, I'm actually that I really like your hair
-Thank you, I did it myself.
-Very? -I have my own salon.
-It's super cool.
Didn't I hear Charlie say it He also has his own salon.
-No salon, salon.
-Good.
-I went with him Vet last night.
He has a dog under each arm, gives them both by word of mouth.
He has many hearts.
-Yeah, and dog breath, sounds like.
Do dogs get it? drunk contact
-Yeah, I think the dog is wondering
why do I keep checking their IDs
You know, he's a good person. -Yeah, and cute too right?
-Yeah, he's a little cute. -Yes.
-Very cute. Like me. -I think of me too.
- Seriously, he's a little a handler and girls like bad children.
-I think he knows he has a problem
I don't drink. I've never had it, but...
My father is an alcoholic, So, I know the sign.
-Boy: I really want to kill him -Just kill him
-No, it's one of God's property beings, don't kill it
Right? Don't kill him.
-So, how about you
Do you work in the courthouse back to town
-Yeah, I'm a stenographer.
- Franklin works in the DA office.
-What is he? -Yes.
Have you ever seen it? around there?
Uh... now you... I think I have. Mm-hmm.
Not often.
-You know, I've known for a long time to tell you, I'm not here to...
- (girl screaming) -Yes God.
- (girl screaming)
-Yes, God.
Should I buy a tabby or a Siamese cat?
-Okay, cabrones.
Choose us Feeding contest.
-Yeah, but not food...
Habaneros, baby
Hot peppers, bro.
You have to eat a lot as you can in three minutes.
And habaneros... (chuckles)
Habaneros is devil food
-Yes.
-They can't be that bad.
-Oh, you will soon find out. (chuckles)
-Do I eat for family?
-Yeah, gravy, you can eat for families for sure
- Because habaneros is organic,
and I do non-pharmacy is really good.
Yes. Like, one day I have lost in the desert
Yes.
I have to eat 67 mushrooms to survive.
-Cap and stem?
- In outline.
I was hallucinating for 15 days.
My diarrhea feels like honey. -All: Ugh!
-Tommy: It's beautiful, gravy.
-What is your guide? -Yes. Uh...
- Your brother in law? -Yes, my brother-in-law.
-That's your sister
- In law.
-You say it's like you Maybe he saw it naked or something.
(laugh)
- Okay, stupid, I understand.
-No, clown, I like habaneros.
-What are you talking about? Who do you call a clown, man?
I can eat more habaneros from you, I always.
-No.
(speaks Spanish)
-You, bro?
-What, he...
... raised.
-That's like Easter or something.
-I have eaten habaneros for 65 years.
I will win for the family.
Mira. Here I am has been raving. Hah?
Ocho! (whistle) (speaking Spanish)
For cervezas.
Ocho now is an official of St. Bernardo.
(laughs) Whoo!
-But making a joke. -Yes.
-Habaneros is not available for Mexicans.
We put hot sauce on our hot sauce
(all laugh)
-He made another joke. -It's awesome
-I'm ready. Let's do it.
- Alright, pendejos, timer is set Three, two, one, leave!
(all encouragement yells)
(frankly)
-There is something is going on in my fucking mouth (speaking is not clear)
-With men... what do you think? men ever like
a POV itself and just go...
"Are we really stupid"?
(frankly)
(shouting)
(unclear noise)
-Oh! -Oh!
(shout)
(shouting echoing)
-Maybe use of Satan your backbone as a trellis,
to choose apples in hell
For you, Mr. DiMaggio, and for you, Dr. Freud.
-Shantaysia: If you don't know where you go,
there are many ways
-Good. So, he is not just crazy beautiful,
he's actually pretty smart for
look through me
-You need to see the past the train accident he has and look at the person crying when he thinks Doggies won't work.
-Okay, that's... That's a turnoff.
May I just say no Usually the type of crying.
-I think it's sweet, you know,
you cry like a little sissy
-I cried, because when I was gave them mouths to snout,
Ocho slipped a few of my tongues.
I-I-I-I-I-I can still feel it, ugh, lamb and carrot
Alright alright. Let's... Let's recap.
I know I come from like... Like a few tough people,
But I cried when I saw that the doggies were injured,
and you are half naked...
I apologize for that.
-Are you?
-Oh, damn it.
Don't move That's a coral snake.
You will be absolutely safe If you stand there, like that,
back in the sun, looks perfect
Damn it! You moved
Now you look terrible.
You go from seeing like a goddess, to a...
To the favela in a bikini.
-What will we do?
-If we circle as one,
it will see us as much bigger and bigger threats,
and then glide away shyly.
So, here we are... mix.
We start.
-Whoa, whoa.
In chapter seven
in one of the most brilliant novels I've ever read,
the main character is found a coral snake in the warehouse
Roger tells him, "Red over yellow kills others
Red on black, no poison."
Become our little friend There is no poison.
-Wow.
You read my novel
-two times.
- (sighs) So I guess you know what it is...
What a cliche I am.
-Oh, a writer who drinks.
-You forgot mentioned "tortured"
- And I'm left "scared and unsafe."
-Aha! Well, maybe that
is why I drink
-But we never saw you drink,
because we are always disturbed by things You point to, you know?
Justin Bieber, trash fire,
twenty four hours Popeyes chicken...
- Manikin is very high Enlightened truck driver...
Shut up bagpipes,
Best Pete, Blockbuster Video
- Cast "Breakfast Club,"
and one of my favorites,
"The cloud looks like a queen of wolves."
Let me see if I get this straight
You write one novel, gets a lot of critical praise,
then you're done? What happened?
- Wait a minute.
Is that Charlie Jones there?
Behind the empty typewriter?
Frozen, hammered...
Alone...
-No, no.
I think if my head is full of such nonsense,
Maybe I also drink.
But I don't.
So good luck with your trip
- (stutter) Wait. What if I...
What if... I don't drink?
I don't think we will ever know.
But I know you are a brilliant writer - I swear, it's I'm not peeing
-Last one to drop them The hand of the car wins.
-Ocho. (whistle)
(barks)
Gracias.
-Uncle Gravy saw some brat there
Oh yeah.
Yes, you must be so be careful.
They got 10,000 eyes.
Like my ex-wife.
-Are you going to do it?
- It's been a long time.
I'm scared.
-Do it. You won't No balls -What is the ball?
(buzzing insects)
(maniac laugh)
-I got him! I got it
Get it! You will...
-Ahem!
-Oh yeah. I need one of your hair.
Are you ready your little rope?
(laugh)
-Que paso, little flower? Yes?
-Dad, what is the gender?
(awkward laughter)
-Welcome to have fun with that, Father.
Listen. He has lots of good advice
-Yeah, Felipa. Thank you very much.
-What is sex? Hah? Tell him, father.
- hear it.
-Excuse. Thank you.
Um... Uh...
Sex is like, like... His...
That's when you hug someone.
- Come on, brother, is that it? -Haw is really fast.
-So, wait. So I have sex with my grandfather
-I won't be surprised.
(laughter)
-Good.
Well, I... I think you're old enough.
Sex is when Mother and father...
eh, hug
(stammers) And we don't wear clothes.
- Well, you better get naked and start hugging,
Because they say dinner will be ready in two seconds.
(all laugh)
-Yes! Yes!
Dinner will be ready in two seconds!
-Tommy: She's my child and I love her, but...
You know, You hate seeing them struggle.
That thing he's struggling with, has this, uh...
Does this have anything to do with with why he isn't married and not calm?
-Yes.
All right, hopefully he'll find out
We have guys who come that will help with that
-Oh!
I understand.
-you doing? -Yes.
Hey, it's okay.
I mean, every family has
someone who...
... different.
I mean, and that's right is good with that, right?
You may have seen many things.
-I used to be a fire extinguisher.
Have some of the best from me I can't control it, so...
... they fired me
(sighs) Try the Bible.
Jim Beam vs. John 3:10.
That didn't work.
- Jim Beam won?
-Yes.
Charlie will be fine.
-Yes.
- And I mean, everything...
Things are much easier now for guys like him I'll be back soon.
(buzzing insects)
-It's like a small kite.
-Gravy: Looks like he is like that a true dancer
Notice what I do next here.
Okay, big guy.
Time to go to work.
- Come somewhere with all of that bells and smells?
(both laugh)
-I, I'm just about to...
-I know where you will go.
-you doing? -Yes.
And I think you two made a great partner -you doing? -Yes!
I even like the ring name.
-Shantaysia. -Fe...
Shan... Shantaysia? Oh.
-Yeah, yeah. -Shantaysia.
-Now see, I know what you will say
I know I pushed a little hard.
But that's because you have so many promises,
and I only want you to deliver it Look, back in the day,
when did I come your age...
Phew! And time...
I will never dream I will have a boy who is on verge of running a city
I just want to say to you, kid...
I'm proud of you. -Oh, Pop.
- really proud
-Oh, Pop. Thank you buddy.
What
-Now you go ahead for your way
(both laugh a little)
- And don't make it late.
There is no child that will take longer than a woman to get ready.
-Oh, come on, bro.
You sound like an episode from "Sanford and Son."
-Oh! (sighs)
Ah! Romance is at hizzouse
-Hey, hey.
-Hey, Shay-Shay. -Hei. Goodbye.
-All right.
-Uh... Then where did he all dress up?
Who is not here
-Sharni: Hey, Charlie, where are you
- Charlie?
Charlie and Franklin?
Oh God.
-Oh, hey. You are here. How are you?
-I'm fine.
-Funny sees you here
-No too.
-Uh, only...
Well, because I'm here, You are here,
I think can be discussed this whole...
... fake mother thing
-What about that?
-Maybe, well...
That's not what I thought about that a lot, but I...
... write some alts, like what your kids like to say.
-I never said that.
-You don't say "alts" to... Good.
-You wrote all that?
-Yeah, only a few, um...
Only a few alternatives for "Fake Mothers".
Not that I don't like it.
But I just thought, why not...
... Mother trophy? I can be like the Mother Trophy, you know?
I always want to... No. Not.
-No? Okay, not good.
Good. How, um...
Mother again
Do you know what I mean?
Like, when you call me, You will be like, "Mother again!"
-No. Fake mother -Good. What about "this mother"?
This mother This mother
Do you know what I mean?
Who will say all this? -Nobody.
What about "Other Mothers"? "Cute mother"?
-Imut? A funny mother - "Mother mother"?
Okay, "Mom Mom." Mother's mother is funny
Right? You will be like, "Mother mother!"
-What am I, two years?
- Because it won't be like that your first mother...
-I have my real mother... -Uh huh.
- And then I have you
-Tell and I will never want-- -And you are my fake mother
And you need to stop trying to act...
- Take her place. -Yes, that's right.
-Yeah, I will never.
-Well, you try.
-No, I don't. I will not...
I think this has happened a productive conversation Alright, alright...
Um, do you want me? button your shirt
No. It should be like that.
-Yes. -Well. OK.
Alright.
(murky)
- My family might not win this.
Which means my plan is blushing.
-You have to tell your father
We both did it. I can't lie.
-I don't know. My dad is crazy It's like he wants Mayor someday,
that's how it is... You know?
-Yes. And you can't do that with a Mexican woman by your side.
-What? I didn't say that. I mean, why are you...
-See, Franklin...
I'm glad you worry about your father I am worried my father too
They want so much for us,
although sometimes is misguided
But I think we are like that fooling ourselves -What are you talking about?
-We will go leaning against each other,
but maybe we can't.
And it's better we learn it now,
before we commit something that won't work -Felipa, what are you saying?
Make it easier on both of us
What?
Felipa, what are you doing?
Felipa.
(sighs)
Fuck
(Ron Ron clears the throat)
-Ron Ron, I told you to knock it on.
You will play and place a hole behind your neck -So you fair told me the item, huh?
You told me?
-Yeah, I told you
-You told me?
-Yes.
-Good.
-Jose: Oh, that's him, Ron Ron.
Wear those pants, brother.
That way will tell your wife who is the boss, brother
-You know something? Watch this. Ahem!
Keko, look at this
I am in this contest where I keep my hand in this pesky car,
so I can win for family.
I'm a little thirsty now.
I want you to go pick me up one of them beer,
open the top,
and put the beer on my lips
and pour it into my mouth.
Now!
-Keko: bullshit
Do I look like someone? Who will drink beer,
put it on your lips and pour it into your throat -No thought, baby
-Wow! What a beautiful thing.
I mean, look.
Every creed, race, and credo
just hanging loose His...
I want to give a speech.
-Uh...
So, you will make that speech, car, or what?
-I, I have to write something down first
-It's human out of his mind
She's crazy.
(murky)
-What, guys?
-What, Charlie?
-You kissed what I entered?
-Jose: you smell from something, brother
-Yeah, kids used to say that
-What does the child usually say? Not me...
-I heard some kids say it
-Jose: Oh, hey Charlie, man
I see your hybrid has all the latest gadgets, man, that's really cool
It's like... It's like "Star Trek."
-What?
-Yeah, yeah. You have one special field of strength.
What do they call that?
Pussy Deflector.
(both laugh)
-Charlie, where are you?
-I'm on the lake, wash.
-Oh, huh? Do you wash behind your ears, stupid?
♪ Do you wash behind your ears? ♪
- ♪ Wash behind your ears ♪
- ♪ why don't you close? Fuck up? ♪
You know, Jose, Maybe you should try washing.
I mean, even your camp has a slip.
And don't be stingy with Lever 2000.
Maybe you should call them and see if they get it a Lever 10000.
-Do you talk about, man?
It's pheromone. Chicks dig it.
Ron Ron: Odor doesn't smell.
You have that right.
Hey, skip me bull it.
What?
Hey, you two. (laugh)
Jose BO smells very bad,
he needs rights and the Left Guard.
(laugh)
Do you understand? Therefore guards are right, That's what he calls.
And he smells, so he needs Both sides,
Because it's left... -Man: Yes, they understand.
They don't like that one? Okay, I have another for you.
What is the most flat surface What can you do ironing?
Donkey white girl (laugh)
-Hey! Nonsense
Crap
See this assery work.
-Oh yeah.
(men exclaim appreciatively)
-Mind if I do it little slip?
-Jose: I don't know This looks pretty flat to me.
Although, wait a minute. Maybe this is a bad angle.
-Yes, yeah. You check it out.
-We got challengers plane, women and men.
Yes, I'm bad.
I was wrong. You are right. Okay, I will admit the point.
Oh, I have one, I got it.
Right, uh...
All right, you How many inches is and white? Hah?
Anyone? Anyone?
Not bad luck!
(laughter)
-Oh really?
Very? I call bullshit.
-Jose: Oh, huh?
-Check out this work from dickery
(all groaning)
- Okay, alright. Good good.
Give me the horn
-And now Charlie has taken it bull, women and men.
This competition is heating up.
Let's see what he has.
-Did you hear about black men and Mexico
which opened a shared restaurant?
-Woman: no.
-This is called "Nacho Mama." - (laugh)
-Oh, hey, does happen when it's white men with boners
walk to the wall?
-All: what?
-He broke his nose.
- (laughs)
-Man: Franklin, he took the bull
Alright.
Why do white people like hockey?
-Why? -Why is that?
-Because if they are not police,
That's the only chance they get to defeat something black
-Ooh, ooh.
-Oh, on your face!
-What are you calling a black man in a suit?
-What? Defendant.
- (laughs)
-I have one, I have one, you guys, wait this Ready?
-Oh, ladies and gentleman, looks like a polar dancer
want to enter a competition.
He weave it, Let's see what he has
-What are you calling black...
Wait...
-Ooh, and Daisy Duke has nothing
- (laughs) -Discard this shit
-All right. Good, there are some Good news and bad news.
While he has Bullhorn, rank spiked,
but bad news Everyone IQ drops.
- (laughs)
- (murky)
-Okay, alright, Alright. I have one for you
Uh... hey! What white woman made for dinner
-What? -Reservation.
- (laughs)
-Oh, no, and women and gentlemen,
Park guards are involved in in the competition
And others This brother is color blind
or he is flat helps the wrong family
- (laughs) -You sure about that?
-They will like it.
-Charlie: When it's black and Mexicans are in the car,
who's driving -everyone: who?
- police
(laughter)
-Yeah, okay, brother, don't-- check out okay thanks.
And now, Franklin took the bull.
Let's see if he can pull it out for his team.
All right, uh...
why do white people have a lot of pets?
-Everyone: why?
-Because they can't own people anymore
Explosion! Lower the bull horn. Right.
- (good music playback)
-Hey! Yes, Yes, Yes!
-Yes!
-Hey, hey, hey!
What happened, everyone?
My name is Johnny Jon-John.
I will run intervention.
And for Charlie Jones,
is there Charlie Jones? -Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-No, no, not now.
- An intervention for me?
-No no no. You can go now We don't need you We're fine.
-I should see you miles away Yes sir, let's go there.
Anyone want to talk about this joker?
Good. I will go.
All right, uh... this is an intervention
The 10th is free Another joke that we do.
I like to lighten the mood a little when someone is heading to the cemetery
Your family together with a list of things you're done while... drunk
-They are collecting lists? -Yeah, that's...
That's how it works. -Give us a short list
-You aren't released the ferris wheel too?
-Yeah, this is a wheel, so you can explore.
- To give a head start for the next city
-Hello? -Have a librarian head?
-He might be a bug.
- Alright, and you encourage you
-Both: He has fleas, right.
He has RID and a comb.
All right, You helped him.
Eh, did you shoot 72 bottle rockets in your high school?
-Just say that I increase its appeal.
And most of them are useless.
-More than 50%? -One.
-Holy shit, what am i doing here?
What a waste of my time.
This person seems fine for me. Are you single?
-Uh...
I, but now that you mentioned it,
I... but a few hours ago,
I... now I'm not... No no.
Initial answer? Initial answer.
-I don't even speak to you. I'm talking for him
-I? God is holy.
-Like not, um... -You know what?
This, this, this, the whole event...
you can, you can, you can "mange" my stain
I don't need this, This, this intervention.
-Well, I'm fucking No need too.
Alright, I'm addicted to like five thouty.
Anyone needs weeds, yells at your son
It's nice here! I am joking.
This place is nice if I am a Zika virus
Uber!
-What's the matter is that all?
-Berhati, son, we didn't mean that.
-Storage.
Take my hand from the car.
-Oh, yes, so now it's just me and Mr. Jonas.
-Jose: Oh, no, Papi will hit the fly.
- (groans) -Papi, Papi, Papi, wait!
- (exclaiming)
- Daddy. -You release the door, Pops.
-I won! I win! I won, I won!
We win! Geez!
-Well, we won...
But it's fun the way it turns out Why doesn't everyone stay?
-I agree! Come on everyone lives and enjoy the weekend.
- Alright, we will stay.
But you have to be able to to save the rope to your child Charlie
-What! -Wait, wait, wait...
what the hell Does that only mean?
-Madonna, some pendejo tried for mosq pin on my shirt...
with blonde hair, white people cheated
-Hey, I mean, Come on now... White people are cheated and now Charlie is after my son Franklin
-What? -What?
-Pop, how are you talking about?
- Come on, now, Franklin.
I mean, it should have told me that you are gay I mean, that's why you... don't want to nominate the Mayor?
-Are you kidding... I'm not gay And if I'm gay, I can walk better than Charlie
- Do you think I'm chasing Franklin?
-And a drunk person! -Alright alright...
You might have me on drunken things but...
You are out of your mind. Everyone knows that
-What? -What?
-Oh, Charlie.
-Even me, the big one is drunk Can send 14 seconds after I get here
And you still haven't seen it? -Felipe?
Es la verdad?
-Papi, I once means telling you
Yes, okay
Franklin and I have been dating for more than a year.
-What? -What?
-You need to stay your child goes from my daughter
-Aye, no, no You didn't not call a shot in my family, El Chapo.
-Oh, well, Pop, calm down.
-No no no no, and you can't believe this, kid.
You've sneaked around with him behind my back,
and lying and...
standing Shantaysia who's hot to run
-Very hot to run inaccurate
-Okay, alright.
I came here because of us all needed to gather.
I like Felipa. That's my girl That's why we are all here.
I don't know where white families are from,
but that's why our family is here We planned it. But do you know what I hate?
-I know that, I know that, I know that.
You're not perfect, brother You don't want to be camping.
♪ Franklin isn't perfect ♪
♪ She's stupid ♪
♪ She made love to Felipa ♪
♪ I know that ♪
♪ And I think he's gay too ♪
-This camping can jump my ass "Jurassic Park" mosquito can jump my ass
Sleep in my car at night,
waiting for someone to come and kill me...
-Can jump your ass -Persis. -Right.
-All of this can jump my ass.
-Well, if you will act That way, then why are we? Say we want to stay
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
Let's stay - (argue)
- White people are fooled
And we go to win this contest and kick you out
-Yeah, man, hell with all of you
Final contest Winner or return.
-Get it. -Get it.
- (chat is not clear) -Lot's vamos.
- Let's do it. -Hah.
- Run this way. -This game is over,
taco and Schlitz.
- Hey, hey, gather around here, I'm Peter Galkie, and I'm...
one of the original audiences,
so I think I might best meet the requirements to be described
what are we about to testify here
This obstacle race
is two miles in total, give or take a mile or two.
And, uh, it's through the forest,
and then you have to pass the lake
and then redeem it for that method of clearing up there
Because that's where the finish line is at.
So what do you say? We all just sit here,
and let's enjoy the show.
-Yes ready for this? Let's do it!
Let's do it.
- (chat is not clear)
-Okay, everyone, These are the rules.
-Rules? -Yes.
There are no rules! Ready to set, go!
- (chat is not clear)
-Franklin: Hey! You have dirt on my shoes.
- (cheering)
- (panting) - (laughs)
- (grunting)
-I want to stay.
-Yeah, why do parents always have destroy everything?
I don't want to go. -As well as I.
-Wait, I have an idea.
Rolie, do you still have that map?
-There is bear poop in the forest?
-Yes, young man, that's how it is.
-Ew!
-It's dirty - He smoked too much weeds.
Once he became very baked, he tried to take his pants above his head
-What? -This is an old Woody Allen joke.
-Okay, so you look at this ridge here
It's horse shoes around this mountain.
And if we cross here, then we are there
- The plan only works if we can get to the finish line first.
-Think we can get there first?
-Hah, yes, first is my middle name
-This? -No, sweetie, this is Olivia.
- Okay, let's do this On three...
One, two, three, take a break!
-Let's go!
-And black... is leading.
-You killed him, Father. -Get your hands down there.
- away from me! - (groans)
- (panting) Listen, Pop, I just want to say it I'm sorry.
-No talking, just won.
-I don't regret-sorry, but I'm sorry -You can't follow, right? -Look at...
You don't fit the shape.
-I don't run out of shape, I can go for hours.
- (mumbles)
-Hei. Wait...
Is that a snake? -Where?
-Disana.
- (shout)
-Oh...
Oh, shit, no no pesky snake
Oh.
-You know your scream is kind of...
hoo hoo, you know
You need a man, you know.
- Use this!
-Felipa: I should have told my family Well, I don't know what happened. We just... fall in love.
-Cheyenne: Yes. My father is very angry.
-Well, girl, your father is over, okay,
if you ask me -Yes.
- I mean, that's not a bad thing,
that's a good thing. -Highly?
- I mean, I'm shocked.
I'm like, "What?"
I gripped my wallet like I was watching "Our Days of Life" or something.
I'm like, "What?" Don't see it coming!
But... that's a good thing. -Yes.
-Yes all may work some small Obamas,
or something, a little baracks up here. (laugh)
Girl, can I say do I think your father Act like a big old boy.
-Kanan. Surprise surprise, all men act like children
-And talking about children...
I can't hear my voice. It's like... -Yeah, that's weird.
- They are completely silent, like when I put
a little Benadryl in their Cap'n Crunch.
You know they understand just quiet.
What? I don't want to really cure my baby, it's a joke
-Okay, okay, I like-- (laugh)
- Just a little, for a while.
Children! -Chuckie!
-Rolie!
-Chuckie! -Nothing is there.
We have to go. - Let's see.
- Let's try parents. -Hey!
-Sharni: Oh, my God!
- (country music playing)
- (cheering)
-Very? Seriously?
-What?
-You think they would go to shoot a dollar bill at you with a t-shirt gun?
-No, this is public service.
I did this for charity. Not paper money.
You are drunk!
- (cheering)
- All right, there is nothing to see here Down with trail, down the path.
Nothing can be seen here, nothing can be seen here.
We have a race. Come on, dear.
Okay, I'm open. Let's go.
Come on! -Wait for me.
♪ And the war bomb will make you bleed ♪
♪ When hugging love ♪
♪ Is everything you need ♪
Hello, friend! Do you want to sing the choir?
♪ Hugs of love Is everything you need ♪
♪ Hugs of love ♪
- (spraying) - (shouting)
- (shout)
-I will get you!
You're a slimy little bastard!
- (good music playback)
-Do you see them?
- Don't see them, but I think I heard it
- (coughing) - (panting)
-Hold it! Hold it!
Wait, wait, wait, stop it! -What?
-Do you hear that?
-What is it?
-What's the sound? -Oh, shit!
Well, maybe it's a bear or, even worse, a monster!
Oh, shit, what's the matter behind the bushes?
Oh, that wild animal is coming towards us!
Who are you! Do you! - (drooping)
Show yourself! (exclaiming)
Oh, shit, worse than I thought.
Just kidding, baby -We are looking for For children, they run away.
-Is this some kind of joke, Because we will win?
-Oh, really, I'm just curious,
-I, I don't even know how you can lead.
-No, really, uh, uh...
Shan... Shantay... what? -Shantaysia.
-Oh, Shantaysia. -Isn't that right?
-No, I think that is Shantay...
- (chat is not clear)
-After that, he...
said something about children...
and finish line.
-Wow! What are bats? -Highly?
-Oh, Charlie.
-What are the other bats?
-I think you will stop.
-No, no, no, wait, that's...
-I guess we will never know what we can
-No no No, no liquor, no bottles
Five, five, five... five bats.
-Yes, God. Seriously! -No, no, no, I'm serious.
-We can't stop They say bat stuck in your hair
-No no no. That's a myth.
Number of urban legends.
-Oh, damn it. -Oh!
- (exclaiming) -What?
-There are... there are bats in your head -Guys, guys, guys, Come on, I'm not a fool.
There are obviously no bats in my head
-Although with those damn rocks.
-Hit it with racket bugs!
-Yes! - (everyone exclaims)
- (moans)
- Not my head, not my head!
-See, kids!
Finish line - (all shouting)
-Oh, hey, thank you all!
Yes I'm fine. All good.
- (grunting)
- Nothing about that... I like it!
- (exclaiming)
- (intense music game)
(all exclaiming)
-You do the kids do this? -Yes! We don't want to go home.
-Us children get along, how can you adults can't get along?
-Well, wow.
This is some muddy bullshit But I was very impressed.
-Franklin: Yes, but who will get a first whooping?
-Children! Not bad.
You dig a hole, You fill it with mud and...
makes it look like a path.
And you caught yourself a bunch of stupid men.
You know what's funny Everyone is closed In mud like this,
You can't tell anyone.
There is a lesson in that.
What is clear, freaking lesson
Preach!
-So, because you can't tell anyone other than...
The point is this...
Are you a bastard or not?
-Uh-mmm.
- Choose wisely. -So, don't be a bastard
And let's all just...
together.
-In the words from Rodney King, women
-La raza!
-What do you mean, honey? - Only Latin ties.
Understood.
-God, that's really very good speech, fake mother
-Oh, yeah, that's...
Still doing Fake Mom item right after...
-Cheyenne.
-You call me by my name!
Beloved!
I'm very touched by...
You know, I always feel that we have...
Okay, don't be at 16, understand, not at 16
- (children screaming)
-They say that tomato juice Can eliminate bad smell.
- (ice cream truck playing music)
-I heard that ice cream truck!
-Franklin: Oh, it's beautiful, gravy.
-Close, hold it. Hey, hey, hey.
- There was something wrong with my knee - (groans) -Be careful, you're my brother, okay?
-Yes, yeah.
- Listen to me, I talk to you.
-Yes! -Okay, and I love you, man.
And someday you will to get married, bro.
Because if anyone can do it, you can -You think so?
-I think what he tried Say, Pop, is that...
(clears throat) It's time to propose.
You know, for Charlie.
(laughter)
♪ Felipa goes to be proposed to ♪
♪ Felipa will get it proposed for ♪
-Well, Franklin, You are on one knee,
I think you better handle your business -Felipa... just follow your heart.
-What is this... are you going to be real?
-Oh... oh!
-What's it, Franklin. -Wow!
-What's it, Franklin.
-Do you marry me? -Yes.
-You will? -Yes yeah huh!
- (cheering)
-Oh! -Yes!
♪ ♪
-Felipa! We need help!
-I got you! I got you!
-We will get married!
- (unclear chat) - (dog barking)
-Excuse. Hello. -Hi. Hi. Hi.
-everyone. -I just want to say...
Another July 4th...
here we are again, I'm so happy that we all can make it
-Yes. - (whooping)
-All right. Yes!
-Yay! Too bad the meat sauce can't.
- (all laugh)
-What? Am I supposed to be somewhere?
-Just kidding, bro. You are here. Snowing.
-We are kidding, gravy.
-Um, hi, I'm Charlie and I'm an alcoholic
-All: Hi, Charlie.
-I apologize, wrong group
- (all laugh)
-Oh, check this bad boy -Six the drunk month.
- (all exclaiming in awe) -See who is good influence here
-It's just like that a poker chip painted green.
-See like a blue condom.
-Oh-eh. Not. That is an IUD. That's what it is.
-Sister, I hope you wash it, man.
-Baby, no, no, no. This is only the onion ring.
Onion rings?
-Yes. You know, like from Mars You know, Mars has -
-Mars? -Did you hear about restaurants on Mars?
-What? -Delicious food, no atmosphere
- (all laugh)
-Hey, you got the one from this joke, gravy.
-I also have a full chip.
-Oh, there he is. -Look at this? Yes.
God, give me peace to accept what I cannot change
and courage to change what I can,
and wisdom to know the difference
-Hear heard. -Applause.
-Maybe he can give you the ability to change the light Bulb at home right?
Or put the toilet seat down?
-Go, Mom's Trophy.
-Mmm-hmm. I know exactly what you are talking about.
You wake up at 3:00 a.m. in the morning to go piss
and then like that You have fallen into the hammock.
Booty and everything, everything gets wet.
-Oh, ladies and gentlemen, and it looks like the attitude is heating up.
Bring out the bullhorns, it's time to do it again.
Second round, one year later.
-Felipa, please just and show the ring to us.
-Oh, yes, is very heavy - (clears throat) - (exclaims)
- Curse!
-Sorry. -Okay, hun. Yes you know it--
-Very good. Hey!
Francesca also has a ring. He is engaged to this man.
Please, Franny, show them
- (everyone exclaims) -Very good.
-Hah, when I'm a millionaire, that thing will be big, okay?
- "millionaire" I will be happy if you are a hundredaire
- This idiot little sister an air foil on the back from my plumbing van
-Business has kicked since we did that
-Ha, Jose, can you push the antenna back in. Grip your love,
I think the Giants are playing the Dodgers.
-Oh, ha-ha-ha. Yes, I can do that
You know, but I'm responsible for 14 dollars for premiums channels, stupid
- (children playing)
-Hey, you kids, save it down there! Well?
This is not a library! -Chuckie!
Stop hitting Sara's sister Don't! Stop!
- Did I hit you, Daddy? -Did I hit the dogs?
- Did I hit the cupcake?
-I too! -I want to hit one of them -
- (children screaming)
-All right. That is cool. Just hit him, it's okay.
-Excuse. Excuse me. -Yes?
-I toast. -Ah!
- All of that I have ever wanted to become...
who am I to be
-Good. -Listen up.
- Clap your hands. -Listen up.
-Oh oh. -Hey!
Hey, Gunga Din.
What are you doing here? This is our site. Site 16.
-Not possible! We have a site 16.
-Oh, will you go to build a 7/11 here?
-Yeah, on the right to your nail salon -Oh yeah.
-Oh, snap! Do you hear that?
-Do you people here
Finish gardening and leave.
-Hey, everything is heating up up there I got one. I got one.
(feedback)
How do you know a Chinese man went bankrupt to your house
-All: How?
All of your homework is finished and he takes an hour to get out of the way into your house.
Getting? - (everyone laughs)
- Come on, man. It is funny.
-Did he say that? -Yeah, he did it.
-Let me see it. Let me see it.
-What does St. Peter say? when did he see Indian people
-All: what?
- "Hey, Jesus, your taxi is here
- (all laughing)
-It's funnier than that.
-Okay, it's messed up. -Yes.
-Hey, you still want camp 16?
-Oh, I think we should have a small contest
- (all cheering)
-Contest? -What kind of contest?
-It's over now !
-No math contest and not...
-Yes, there is no math and there are no science questions.
-Yes. - (conversation is not clear)
- (optimistic country music playback)
- (playing blues)
- (playing optimistic piano)
- (singing crickets)