1 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:05,361 Uploaded by pukeman oneddl.com 2 00:01:09,362 --> 00:01:10,739 In Leghorn or Poitiers? 3 00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,907 Leghorn, okay. 4 00:01:18,872 --> 00:01:20,957 Theoretically this afternoon. 5 00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:27,839 No, I found a low cost flight. 6 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,676 What time's the hearing? 7 00:01:32,218 --> 00:01:33,261 Okay, Bernard. 8 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:34,596 What? 9 00:01:35,305 --> 00:01:36,806 3 p.m. Okay, Bernard. 10 00:01:37,432 --> 00:01:38,391 What? 11 00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:39,809 Gilles. 12 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:43,188 I'll let you go. I'm at my seat. 13 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:44,481 Later. 14 00:01:48,777 --> 00:01:49,819 That won't go. 15 00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:54,741 See me? I'm here. 16 00:01:58,244 --> 00:01:58,912 What? 17 00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:00,622 You're in my seat. 18 00:02:01,581 --> 00:02:03,541 Isn't it free seating? 19 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,712 Maybe, but that's my seat. 11 D. In an Airbus A321, it's 1()B. 20 00:02:07,879 --> 00:02:10,965 But in a 737, it's 11D. 21 00:02:12,801 --> 00:02:13,676 Okay. 22 00:02:14,511 --> 00:02:16,596 Then I'll change seats. 23 00:02:16,763 --> 00:02:17,430 Right. 24 00:02:26,648 --> 00:02:28,107 It's just my feet. 25 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,461 It's pretty cramped. 26 00:02:49,963 --> 00:02:51,422 Who put my bag here? 27 00:02:52,674 --> 00:02:53,800 I don't know. 28 00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:09,107 Ladies and gentlemen, we're unable to control our music programming. 29 00:03:09,566 --> 00:03:10,525 We apologize 30 00:03:10,692 --> 00:03:12,652 for the inconvenience. 31 00:03:15,572 --> 00:03:16,865 You Vezenuelian? 32 00:03:18,408 --> 00:03:19,951 Awesome! Vale. 33 00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:22,412 That's where it's happening. 34 00:03:22,954 --> 00:03:23,955 Hang on. 35 00:03:24,122 --> 00:03:25,164 Gwen? 36 00:03:25,915 --> 00:03:28,084 He's asleep. My pal's a Breton. 37 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:31,588 We're doing an audio-visual documentary. 38 00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:34,048 We wanted to do it in Vezeneula. 39 00:03:34,883 --> 00:03:36,426 But we didn't get funding. 40 00:03:36,676 --> 00:03:42,015 We filled in the application, went to the post office and all that... 41 00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:43,182 What's it on? 42 00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:46,060 Everything that's going on right now. 43 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:47,604 Meaning what? 44 00:03:47,896 --> 00:03:49,355 Meaning, in general. 45 00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:50,773 I have lice. 46 00:03:51,024 --> 00:03:54,485 We work in an anti-non-violent approach, 47 00:03:54,903 --> 00:03:58,239 and we're against junk food, too. It's poison. 48 00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:00,366 As a Vezenuelian, you must know: 49 00:04:00,617 --> 00:04:04,495 Peaches, fruit in fact, frutos... 50 00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,289 There's fuzz on peaches, 51 00:04:06,456 --> 00:04:10,043 and pesticides stick to the fuzz. 52 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:11,085 Pesticidas... 53 00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:15,548 If you eat peaches with the fuzz you can catch menopause. 54 00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:18,384 Your attention,, please. 55 00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:23,139 Due to a slight seback, takeoff is delayed by 15 minutes. 56 00:04:26,142 --> 00:04:29,103 Low costs are so punctual in their delays. 57 00:04:29,896 --> 00:04:30,772 Pierre. 58 00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:35,109 I'm Frank. 59 00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:40,156 A drink, ma'am? 60 00:04:41,574 --> 00:04:42,867 A glass of water. 61 00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:53,044 - 2 euros, please. - I don't get it. 62 00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:56,172 2 hours' delay, 2 euros? 63 00:04:56,381 --> 00:04:58,591 So a 10-hour delay is 10 euros? 64 00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:02,762 - Do you want your water? - Keep your water. 65 00:05:03,179 --> 00:05:04,764 How should I know! 66 00:05:04,931 --> 00:05:07,600 - I'm thirsty! - Not for 2 euros. Read! 67 00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:11,938 Everyone's thirsty. No one's serving drinks. 68 00:05:12,689 --> 00:05:14,023 A beverage, sir? 69 00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:16,401 We've been waiting 2 hours! 70 00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:18,111 A beverage? 71 00:05:18,403 --> 00:05:19,487 Sir? 72 00:05:25,994 --> 00:05:28,287 Hear that sicko on his phone? 73 00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:32,291 He's not very discreet. 74 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,961 It's the sort of thing that... 75 00:05:35,128 --> 00:05:36,879 Lower your voice up there! 76 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:38,214 Stop, stop! 77 00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:39,590 Are you nuts? 78 00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:41,676 He's talking so loud. 79 00:05:41,843 --> 00:05:43,553 What are we, animals? 80 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:46,681 - We're tourists, we pay... - The phone! 81 00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:56,816 I'm such an idiot! 82 00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:00,236 He's a midget. 83 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:03,156 What of it? 84 00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:06,117 He's a midget. The guy up there... 85 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,452 He's a midget. 86 00:06:08,119 --> 00:06:08,911 So what? 87 00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:12,498 I can't tell a midget to keep his voice down! 88 00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:21,549 Here. Relax. 89 00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:25,178 Think we'll take off soon? I'll go nuts. 90 00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:27,263 I read you, Toufik. 91 00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:32,477 So terrorists have already taken over. 92 00:06:33,603 --> 00:06:37,190 I'm joking. This used to be my line. 93 00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:40,860 Not easy all this, is it? 94 00:06:42,612 --> 00:06:46,407 I know the problem. I was an Air France pilot. 95 00:06:46,908 --> 00:06:48,284 35,000 hours of flying time. 96 00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:49,952 35,000 hours. 97 00:06:51,037 --> 00:06:52,705 On one of these, in fact. 98 00:06:59,629 --> 00:07:00,588 Relax. 99 00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:05,301 When they offered me pre-retirement, I said yes. 100 00:07:05,635 --> 00:07:07,011 Better for family life. 101 00:07:07,303 --> 00:07:10,056 I'm single now, but it's still better. 102 00:07:12,642 --> 00:07:15,186 I mean, now... 103 00:07:16,104 --> 00:07:18,564 I've got it easy, now. 104 00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:22,026 Real easy. 105 00:07:24,070 --> 00:07:28,074 I'll let you go. And as they say, Have a good flight. 106 00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:39,418 So you're Venezuelan. That's great. 107 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,172 Funny, we meta really nice Mexican. 108 00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:47,593 His name is Jorge. Ring a bell? 109 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:48,803 - No. - It must. 110 00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:50,471 Right, honey? 111 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,473 You okay? 112 00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:54,225 Yeah. 113 00:07:55,393 --> 00:07:56,519 I'm bored shitless. 114 00:08:01,065 --> 00:08:02,567 I should go apologize. 115 00:08:03,442 --> 00:08:04,735 Your midget, again? 116 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,946 You nuts? He might hear us! 117 00:08:07,572 --> 00:08:09,240 Don't be ridiculous. 118 00:08:11,868 --> 00:08:13,661 Occupied! 119 00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,845 You're going to ask when we take off. 120 00:08:31,012 --> 00:08:33,306 Exactly. When do we take off? 121 00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,183 I don't know. 122 00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:37,101 Urgent business in Paris? 123 00:08:37,268 --> 00:08:39,437 A meeting with the management 124 00:08:39,604 --> 00:08:42,607 about restructuring. So if I'm not there... 125 00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,901 - It's okay. - I gotta be there or... 126 00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,653 Say your flight was delayed in Djerba. 127 00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:50,823 I'm not supposed to be in Djerba, 128 00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,951 but on assignment in the Paris suburbs. 129 00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:55,995 Not exactly next door. 130 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,834 - It's so hot. - What's your line? 131 00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:05,254 A real bore. Industrial espionage. 132 00:09:20,478 --> 00:09:21,520 Some water? 133 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:22,939 Yes, please. 134 00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:24,482 It's so hot. 135 00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:27,985 It's due to the heat. 136 00:09:30,947 --> 00:09:31,948 Excuse me. 137 00:09:32,907 --> 00:09:36,494 I've been watching you for two hours, and I wondered... 138 00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:39,705 Do you play Crapette? 139 00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:44,418 Crapette? 140 00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:46,754 The card game? 141 00:09:46,921 --> 00:09:48,297 Yeah, the card game. 142 00:09:48,464 --> 00:09:50,925 - Sure. - Thank you, Lord! 143 00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,308 Face up or face down? 144 00:09:59,809 --> 00:10:00,935 Be right back. 145 00:10:03,688 --> 00:10:04,855 Damn, damn! 146 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:11,279 Your attention please. Due to problems with the tour operator, 147 00:10:11,821 --> 00:10:13,406 We are unable to take off 148 00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:17,326 Lobud Jet Airlines regrets the inconvenience but is not at fault. 149 00:10:18,119 --> 00:10:20,830 The truth is, they're hiding the truth. 150 00:10:20,997 --> 00:10:21,789 Think so? 151 00:10:23,708 --> 00:10:25,376 What makes you think that? 152 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,086 Did De Gaulle Exist? 153 00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:43,811 This is unheard of! 154 00:10:44,145 --> 00:10:46,605 This is disgraceful! 155 00:10:46,981 --> 00:10:49,525 We're made to wait for hours 156 00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:53,362 just to deplane and manage on our own! At midnight! 157 00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:57,616 Who the hell do you think you are? 158 00:10:59,952 --> 00:11:01,495 Calm down. 159 00:11:02,747 --> 00:11:03,956 Calm down! 160 00:11:04,123 --> 00:11:07,293 Your tour operator went bust. It's not our fault! 161 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:12,882 But we paid! 90 euros. Per person! 162 00:11:13,049 --> 00:11:16,177 No, I paid 45 euros. 163 00:11:16,344 --> 00:11:17,178 What? How? 164 00:11:17,345 --> 00:11:21,015 I reserved 6 months ago, no luggage and I paid cash. 165 00:11:21,307 --> 00:11:23,100 Please. 166 00:11:23,351 --> 00:11:24,769 We're all in the same boat. 167 00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:27,355 If I could take off, I would. 168 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:28,272 Then do it! 169 00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:32,193 I have flight clearance. We've refueled. 170 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:33,903 But your tour operator... 171 00:11:35,196 --> 00:11:37,239 Don't ram it up our ass! 172 00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:41,410 That might sound crude, but we've had it up to here! 173 00:11:48,376 --> 00:11:49,460 What'd she say? 174 00:11:49,627 --> 00:11:51,379 I don't speak German. 175 00:11:55,508 --> 00:11:56,592 I get it. 176 00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:00,012 What? 177 00:12:01,639 --> 00:12:03,182 You're a psychopath. 178 00:12:03,933 --> 00:12:05,101 Why say that? 179 00:12:05,643 --> 00:12:08,813 You were all set to disembowel that loudmouth, 180 00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:10,898 and now you're depressive. 181 00:12:11,357 --> 00:12:15,611 Earlier it was an impulse. I can't control my impulses. 182 00:12:16,946 --> 00:12:19,198 I just can't stand shouting. 183 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:22,618 For instance, if I were drowning, 184 00:12:23,411 --> 00:12:27,039 I wouldn't call the lifeguard, so as not to bother him. 185 00:12:28,666 --> 00:12:30,709 Asking and shouting are beyond me. 186 00:12:32,086 --> 00:12:36,006 One thing makes me really blow a fuse: 187 00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:38,551 If someone honks at me, 188 00:12:38,843 --> 00:12:40,594 or steps on my toes. 189 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,349 I'm afraid of rats, too. 190 00:12:46,142 --> 00:12:46,934 And mice. 191 00:12:50,062 --> 00:12:52,523 Hang on. 192 00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:54,191 Wait a second. 193 00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:56,444 Everyone's got to calm down. 194 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,990 I'm an airline pilot. 195 00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:05,536 Not anymore, but I know what I'm talking about. 196 00:13:06,162 --> 00:13:07,955 Lay off the FA. 197 00:13:08,164 --> 00:13:09,540 What's the FA? 198 00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:14,753 FA, flight attendants. The crew. 199 00:13:15,171 --> 00:13:17,089 Stop jerking us around! 200 00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:22,386 Ladies and gentlemen, 201 00:13:23,095 --> 00:13:24,889 I have good news! 202 00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:31,061 As compensation, we're offering you mint tea. 203 00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,823 Enough of this shit! 204 00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,284 We've been in this snafu for 7 hours now! 205 00:13:45,451 --> 00:13:48,787 So tell the company, either they pay our way back, 206 00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:52,082 or we occupy the plane! Is that clear? 207 00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:00,341 What're you doing? 208 00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:02,968 Applauding, isn't it obvious? 209 00:14:03,636 --> 00:14:06,096 A sign of approval. Don't know it? 210 00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:08,224 We'll settle this when we arrive. 211 00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:16,357 Listen. The authorities are preventing us, 212 00:14:16,524 --> 00:14:18,817 both in terms of their offer 213 00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:21,403 and the dialog with the passengers, 214 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,322 from returning home. 215 00:14:23,656 --> 00:14:25,449 So, we vote! 216 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,953 Who is for requisitioning the plane? 217 00:14:30,746 --> 00:14:31,789 Who's against? 218 00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:36,710 Who's for and against? 219 00:14:38,254 --> 00:14:40,297 Requisitioning approved! 220 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,139 There we are. 221 00:14:49,807 --> 00:14:51,183 See that? 222 00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:54,645 Of course you didn't see anything. 223 00:14:54,812 --> 00:14:57,731 In a flash, the plane came under their control. 224 00:14:58,107 --> 00:14:59,024 Nicely done. 225 00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:00,234 All together, now! 226 00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:03,279 We're the best! 227 00:15:05,114 --> 00:15:06,991 And we're not leaving the plane. 228 00:15:11,829 --> 00:15:12,955 We're good guys! 229 00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:16,792 We're good and sane! 230 00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:20,004 We'll confiscate the plane! 231 00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:33,475 - You all right, Guy? - Jeez! 232 00:15:34,143 --> 00:15:35,561 You know what, Maude? 233 00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:37,855 I always wanted to be a leftist. 234 00:15:39,023 --> 00:15:39,982 I win! 235 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,236 It's my lucky day! 236 00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:46,113 Not going to intervene? 237 00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:48,073 No, I'm still on vacation. 238 00:15:48,616 --> 00:15:52,745 They can beat each other to a pulp, it's not my problem. 239 00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:54,413 No way. 240 00:15:54,747 --> 00:15:55,789 Honestly? 241 00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:57,207 You bet. 242 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,720 What's this about confiscation? 243 00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:14,892 What're you going to do now? 244 00:16:15,059 --> 00:16:17,019 Stay on the plane? Then what? 245 00:16:17,186 --> 00:16:19,480 You'll get off in the end. 246 00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:25,694 Not if we take off. 247 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,822 You know how to fly a 737? 248 00:16:29,573 --> 00:16:30,783 I don't. 249 00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:32,326 He does. 250 00:16:37,623 --> 00:16:38,457 What? 251 00:16:43,379 --> 00:16:47,174 Sure, I know this plane. 252 00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:49,176 Especially this one... 253 00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,804 I've flown 35,000 hours on it. 254 00:16:52,638 --> 00:16:53,764 35,000 hours. 255 00:16:55,391 --> 00:16:59,019 Up at dawn, with my little thermos of coffee. 256 00:16:59,895 --> 00:17:02,064 The smell of jet fuel in the morning. 257 00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,110 But you can't do that. 258 00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:11,615 If it were up to me, I'd take you home. 259 00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:14,660 That I can do. 260 00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:22,334 How long have we been stuck here? 261 00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:23,752 7 hours. 262 00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:25,838 7 hours and 10 minutes. 263 00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:27,256 Captain. 264 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:29,466 Come on. 265 00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:35,055 Damn you. 266 00:17:43,731 --> 00:17:48,610 Sure! He's a pilot. He takes the controls and we take off? 267 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,530 Children, you're ridiculous. 268 00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,416 What'll happen now? 269 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,210 In all likelihood, 270 00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:08,839 within 2 hours they'll slit our throats. 271 00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:11,091 We know too much. 272 00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,219 Then they'll throw us to the rats. 273 00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:15,429 The rats? 274 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:16,805 Yes, 275 00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:19,475 the rats. 276 00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,061 Like when Giscard died. 277 00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,027 Giscard's not dead. 278 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:31,403 Sure. 279 00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:34,198 That's what they say. 280 00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:14,530 Captain. 281 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:18,075 Check APU, check. 282 00:19:18,242 --> 00:19:21,787 Speed, check. 283 00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:24,832 Check... Check... 284 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,630 You sickos are outta your minds! I'm saving my neck. 285 00:19:31,797 --> 00:19:33,340 Thank you. 286 00:19:33,507 --> 00:19:35,259 Thank you for coming. 287 00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:38,720 Where you going? You stay here. 288 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:40,347 The captain may need you. 289 00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:42,224 I'm the captain. 290 00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:43,267 You used to be. 291 00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:48,313 After a retired pilot, care for an ex-stewardess? 292 00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,817 That depends. What for? 293 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:53,861 I don't get it. 294 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,573 That's not what I meant. 295 00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,408 Do as you like. I'm going. 296 00:20:00,951 --> 00:20:02,452 Word has it that... 297 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,879 That was low. 298 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,635 This is madness. 299 00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:25,726 Clearance for takeoff, Inch'Allah. 300 00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:27,936 All clear for takeoff. 301 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:32,941 Copy Ronan, Via, Alpha, Bravo... Calling 02. 302 00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:34,276 Have a good flight. 303 00:20:35,319 --> 00:20:36,236 Good job. 304 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:41,033 Now follow our new steward to your seat. We'll soon take off. 305 00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:48,832 Captain Jean-Claude Bordier speaking. 306 00:20:48,999 --> 00:20:53,962 Please fasten your seat belts. We're about to fly to Paris-Beauvais. 307 00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:58,258 Thank you for choosing me. I hope you enjoy the flight. 308 00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:00,594 Cabin crew, prepare for takeoff. 309 00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:49,685 You little slut... 310 00:21:50,686 --> 00:21:52,938 Positive VSI, suck it in, honey. 311 00:21:53,105 --> 00:21:54,022 Suck it in. 312 00:21:58,402 --> 00:22:00,404 This is madness. 313 00:22:01,071 --> 00:22:02,489 It feels so good. 314 00:22:03,073 --> 00:22:04,825 You little slut! 315 00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:13,667 This feels good. 316 00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:14,793 You little slut. 317 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,505 Missed you. 318 00:22:19,923 --> 00:22:20,549 Shit, the mike! 319 00:22:27,848 --> 00:22:29,057 Avocado-curry burrito? 320 00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:31,601 Gladly. 321 00:22:34,271 --> 00:22:35,814 A refreshment? 322 00:22:36,815 --> 00:22:37,691 Champagne. 323 00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:39,026 Sparkling wine. 324 00:22:40,235 --> 00:22:41,528 No thanks. 325 00:22:43,321 --> 00:22:44,740 Nothing. I'm a little... 326 00:22:48,869 --> 00:22:49,995 This is the life! 327 00:23:13,310 --> 00:23:15,520 Learning your book by heart? 328 00:23:18,690 --> 00:23:19,983 I'm learning Arabic. 329 00:23:20,776 --> 00:23:22,527 It's a fabulous language. 330 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,782 It's full of useful phrases. 331 00:23:26,948 --> 00:23:28,700 Like, if I told you... 332 00:23:33,371 --> 00:23:34,498 Isn't that nice? 333 00:23:35,499 --> 00:23:37,751 It means, "How much is a liter of oil?" 334 00:23:37,918 --> 00:23:39,294 It can come in handy. 335 00:23:42,506 --> 00:23:44,091 What'll you do now? 336 00:23:46,510 --> 00:23:49,679 Like you, go home to Paris, look for a job. 337 00:23:50,097 --> 00:23:52,641 Are there many jobless spies? 338 00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:55,769 Who told you I was a spy? 339 00:23:58,605 --> 00:23:59,564 You did. 340 00:24:00,398 --> 00:24:01,483 Oh, right. 341 00:24:01,817 --> 00:24:03,610 It's industrial espionage. 342 00:24:03,777 --> 00:24:04,653 I see. 343 00:24:04,820 --> 00:24:06,655 Not very glamorous. 344 00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:09,950 I steal household appliance patents. 345 00:24:10,158 --> 00:24:11,618 Far from James Bond. 346 00:24:13,370 --> 00:24:16,123 Aren't spies supposed to be low key? 347 00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:20,293 Did you invent a waffle iron that doesn't drip? 348 00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:23,755 No need to be low key with you. 349 00:24:47,737 --> 00:24:48,655 You okay? 350 00:24:51,199 --> 00:24:55,120 I teach high school geography in SablA©-sur-Sarthe. 351 00:24:55,287 --> 00:24:58,039 I feel sort of out of place. 352 00:24:58,206 --> 00:25:02,878 Relax. Just hold the chart and jot down a few things. It'll be fine. 353 00:25:04,504 --> 00:25:06,173 SablA©-sur-Sarthe. 354 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,056 Can I ask you a favor? 355 00:25:18,310 --> 00:25:20,770 If you don't mind? 356 00:25:24,024 --> 00:25:25,942 Your attention,, please. 357 00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:32,991 In an emergency, there is a life vest under your seat. 358 00:25:33,825 --> 00:25:38,830 Emergency exits are located forward, in the center and aft. 359 00:25:39,581 --> 00:25:44,044 Floor-level lighting will guide you towards these exits. 360 00:25:44,211 --> 00:25:49,090 Seatbelts are buckled, adjusted and unbuckled like this. 361 00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:52,093 In the event of cabin decompression, 362 00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:55,931 an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. 363 00:25:56,389 --> 00:25:59,351 Pull the mask towards you, , place it over your face 364 00:25:59,517 --> 00:26:01,311 and breathe normally. 365 00:26:02,103 --> 00:26:07,525 Necessary remove the life vest from under your seat and slip it on. 366 00:26:07,692 --> 00:26:09,903 Buckle the strap and adjust it 367 00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:14,824 Inflate the vest once outside the aircraft by pulling on the red cord 368 00:26:15,325 --> 00:26:20,080 The whistle attached to the vest can be used as a distress signal. 369 00:26:22,707 --> 00:26:26,127 In the event of an emergency landing, move to toward the exits. 370 00:26:26,294 --> 00:26:28,463 The crew is now pointing to. 371 00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:29,923 Move toward the exit 372 00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:32,300 without rushing 373 00:26:32,842 --> 00:26:35,679 and slide down the emergency slide. 374 00:26:36,263 --> 00:26:37,806 Thank you for your attention. 375 00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:48,566 Maybe the guy's a phony. Maybe he's never flown. 376 00:26:48,942 --> 00:26:51,778 Too late now! Gotta deal with it. 377 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:53,780 You're the boss now, chief. 378 00:26:55,490 --> 00:26:56,700 Say that again? 379 00:26:57,325 --> 00:26:58,201 What? 380 00:26:58,368 --> 00:26:59,995 "The boss now, chief." I like that. 381 00:27:13,174 --> 00:27:14,259 Excuse me. 382 00:27:15,302 --> 00:27:16,511 Excuse me. 383 00:27:18,847 --> 00:27:21,391 Mind if we switch seats? 384 00:27:23,643 --> 00:27:24,602 Why? 385 00:27:24,769 --> 00:27:27,856 Mine's broken, so I'd rather you have it. 386 00:27:36,948 --> 00:27:39,993 But you told the young man 11 D was your seat. 387 00:27:40,618 --> 00:27:43,663 But when it's broken, I prefer 11E. 388 00:27:43,997 --> 00:27:45,498 But it's my seat. 389 00:27:53,131 --> 00:27:54,841 I'm going to take a micro nap. 390 00:27:55,467 --> 00:27:57,969 If I sleep more than 4 minutes, wake me. 391 00:28:00,472 --> 00:28:02,098 My travel poncho. 392 00:28:03,099 --> 00:28:04,559 No more than 4 minutes. 393 00:28:05,310 --> 00:28:09,647 To prevent jet-lag, you have to microsleep. 394 00:28:09,814 --> 00:28:11,483 Essential for me. 395 00:28:12,317 --> 00:28:15,195 There's only a one-hour difference with France. 396 00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:18,865 I can't hear you. I'm wearing earplugs. 397 00:28:29,376 --> 00:28:31,002 What's your name? 398 00:28:31,294 --> 00:28:32,545 Nuance. 399 00:28:33,421 --> 00:28:34,881 That's not a name. 400 00:28:35,590 --> 00:28:36,925 You're right. 401 00:28:38,259 --> 00:28:39,844 Any other ideas? 402 00:28:40,220 --> 00:28:41,554 I don't know. 403 00:28:46,142 --> 00:28:47,644 I like Marie-Pierre. 404 00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:49,354 Marie-Pierre's not bad. 405 00:28:49,521 --> 00:28:52,357 Yes, Marie-Pierre's nice, like you. 406 00:28:56,319 --> 00:28:58,154 - What's yours? - Dagobert. 407 00:28:58,655 --> 00:29:00,115 I should have known. 408 00:29:05,495 --> 00:29:06,663 Hear that? 409 00:29:06,955 --> 00:29:07,831 What? 410 00:29:08,415 --> 00:29:11,584 That sound, from headphones. Hear it? 411 00:29:11,876 --> 00:29:13,044 It doesn't bother me. 412 00:29:13,211 --> 00:29:15,046 It bothers me. Drives me nuts. 413 00:29:15,922 --> 00:29:17,757 Up there. Be right back. 414 00:29:25,265 --> 00:29:26,057 Could you... 415 00:29:26,516 --> 00:29:27,350 What? 416 00:29:27,517 --> 00:29:30,770 Could you turn that off? We hear it back there. 417 00:29:31,271 --> 00:29:34,232 Sorry. I'll turn it off, then. 418 00:29:34,399 --> 00:29:35,567 Thanks. 419 00:29:37,444 --> 00:29:39,404 There. Thanks a lot. 420 00:29:45,243 --> 00:29:46,369 What about him? 421 00:29:46,870 --> 00:29:50,457 He's a midget. You understand? I can't say anything. 422 00:29:56,045 --> 00:29:58,798 What an idiot I am! 423 00:29:58,965 --> 00:30:01,384 Lucky he had his headphones on. 424 00:30:02,051 --> 00:30:04,804 Aren't you overdoing it a little? 425 00:30:23,323 --> 00:30:24,574 - Occupied! - Sorry. 426 00:30:32,582 --> 00:30:34,751 I've been having weird dreams. 427 00:30:54,103 --> 00:30:55,021 Hi. 428 00:31:00,068 --> 00:31:01,277 Where are you going? 429 00:31:01,444 --> 00:31:03,071 - To the toilet. - Sit down. 430 00:31:08,117 --> 00:31:10,662 What d'you expect me to do with that? 431 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,751 2 minutes, or I break down the door. 432 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:17,919 - Thanks. - Don't mention it. 433 00:31:22,090 --> 00:31:23,258 Excuse me. 434 00:31:25,593 --> 00:31:27,554 - What? - Wake up. 435 00:31:27,762 --> 00:31:28,638 4 minutes is up. 436 00:31:28,805 --> 00:31:30,765 Are you nuts? I was sleeping. 437 00:31:31,182 --> 00:31:31,975 Yeah, but you... 438 00:31:33,101 --> 00:31:35,353 You jerk! For chrissakes. 439 00:31:39,857 --> 00:31:40,817 You outta your mind? 440 00:31:41,192 --> 00:31:42,402 She has lice! 441 00:31:42,986 --> 00:31:43,987 You okay? 442 00:31:45,321 --> 00:31:46,781 An air pocket. 443 00:31:47,615 --> 00:31:51,536 An air current that makes planes suddenly lose altitude. 444 00:31:52,662 --> 00:31:54,956 - Are you all right? - Not at all. 445 00:31:55,707 --> 00:31:58,793 So, it's northwest, 347°. 446 00:31:59,252 --> 00:32:00,837 Northwest... 447 00:32:05,842 --> 00:32:07,176 - Can I help you? - Wait a sec. 448 00:32:08,845 --> 00:32:12,849 The weather's bad. They're routing us to fox-kilo-fox, 449 00:32:13,016 --> 00:32:15,435 i.e. Figari-South Corsica. 450 00:32:15,643 --> 00:32:17,103 I know, thanks. 451 00:32:17,270 --> 00:32:20,148 But there's no shame in it. If you need anything... 452 00:32:20,315 --> 00:32:24,527 Sure, no problem. I'll let you know. Follow your steward. 453 00:32:27,739 --> 00:32:29,157 Come on, you rascal. 454 00:32:29,949 --> 00:32:31,492 300... 300... 455 00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:32,869 327°... 456 00:32:34,454 --> 00:32:35,413 Check. 457 00:32:39,667 --> 00:32:41,294 SablA©-sur-Sarthe... 458 00:32:50,970 --> 00:32:52,138 CompiA¨gne. 459 00:32:52,305 --> 00:32:53,222 Can I help? 460 00:32:53,431 --> 00:32:55,224 No, I'm fine. Why? 461 00:32:56,601 --> 00:32:58,394 - Because. Actually... - Because why? 462 00:32:58,895 --> 00:33:00,021 Because why? 463 00:33:00,521 --> 00:33:02,190 Because I'm little? 464 00:33:03,816 --> 00:33:05,401 No, not at all. 465 00:33:06,152 --> 00:33:09,072 Funny, I hadn't even noticed. 466 00:33:09,322 --> 00:33:12,492 That's not it at all. I just like to help out. 467 00:33:13,368 --> 00:33:16,788 That's how I am. It's my nature. Altruistic. 468 00:33:17,330 --> 00:33:21,751 My parents were altruistic very young and I turned out that way. 469 00:33:21,918 --> 00:33:23,419 I'll go sit down. 470 00:33:25,380 --> 00:33:26,964 The little man! 471 00:33:28,299 --> 00:33:29,425 Man, oh man... 472 00:33:29,759 --> 00:33:34,681 Man... so much turbulence! 473 00:33:34,889 --> 00:33:36,224 Without warning! 474 00:33:39,644 --> 00:33:40,978 You okay, sir? 475 00:33:42,188 --> 00:33:43,690 Gotta sleep. 476 00:33:50,488 --> 00:33:52,865 Sorry, you went "SablA©-sur-Sarthe, humpf." 477 00:33:53,032 --> 00:33:54,075 Like that. 478 00:33:54,367 --> 00:33:55,827 I didn't go "SablA©-sur-Sarthe, humpf." 479 00:33:56,577 --> 00:33:58,538 I went "SablA©-sur-Sarthe." 480 00:34:00,998 --> 00:34:02,667 You just did it again. 481 00:34:02,834 --> 00:34:04,377 - I did not. - Yes, you did! 482 00:34:05,628 --> 00:34:06,879 Ladies and gentlemen, 483 00:34:07,046 --> 00:34:10,133 Captain Bordier speaking. Please fasten your seatbelts. 484 00:34:10,299 --> 00:34:12,635 The Weather is forcing us 485 00:34:12,802 --> 00:34:15,054 to land in Figari-South Corsica. 486 00:34:18,182 --> 00:34:19,767 Your hand, it'll comfort me. 487 00:34:31,487 --> 00:34:32,488 This is great. 488 00:34:32,989 --> 00:34:36,743 Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Bordier speaking. Welcome to France. 489 00:34:40,747 --> 00:34:41,581 Boss! 490 00:34:42,165 --> 00:34:43,416 We've arrived. 491 00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:46,878 - Not taking off your mask? - Sure. 492 00:34:58,514 --> 00:35:00,391 - He's crying. - I am not. 493 00:35:00,558 --> 00:35:01,392 You are. 494 00:35:04,395 --> 00:35:05,521 You sure are. 495 00:35:05,938 --> 00:35:08,107 It happens when I think I'm going to die. 496 00:35:09,525 --> 00:35:11,486 That's not bosslike, boss. 497 00:35:16,073 --> 00:35:17,200 Did I sleep long? 498 00:35:18,034 --> 00:35:20,077 Yes. I tried to wake you. 499 00:35:21,412 --> 00:35:22,622 Why didn't you wake me? 500 00:35:25,416 --> 00:35:28,211 This is ridiculous. I told you to wake me in 4 minutes. 501 00:35:28,711 --> 00:35:30,922 It's been 45 minutes. Explain that. 502 00:35:33,216 --> 00:35:34,592 This is ridiculous. 503 00:35:43,100 --> 00:35:46,687 We've arrived. It was no use getting paranoid. 504 00:35:52,568 --> 00:35:54,821 We've landed, but we haven't arrived. 505 00:36:06,415 --> 00:36:08,084 The sun makes me sneeze. 506 00:36:08,459 --> 00:36:10,586 Thanks. That cooled me off. 507 00:36:12,296 --> 00:36:13,965 They have camels in Corsica? 508 00:36:26,102 --> 00:36:27,228 Holy shit. 509 00:36:30,439 --> 00:36:33,276 Those Corsicans are such jokers. 510 00:36:34,902 --> 00:36:37,196 I'm warning you: 511 00:36:37,822 --> 00:36:39,365 I'm out of burritos. 512 00:36:39,740 --> 00:36:42,952 I plugged in the Figari-South Corsica coordinates. 513 00:36:44,245 --> 00:36:46,080 Way, way south. 514 00:36:48,207 --> 00:36:49,375 What's going on? 515 00:36:49,542 --> 00:36:50,668 I don't know. 516 00:36:51,002 --> 00:36:52,044 I don't get it. 517 00:36:52,211 --> 00:36:53,671 That's a shame. 518 00:36:56,424 --> 00:36:57,633 Where are we? 519 00:36:58,009 --> 00:36:59,260 I don't know. 520 00:36:59,594 --> 00:37:00,720 I don't get it. 521 00:37:00,928 --> 00:37:02,013 That's a shame. 522 00:37:02,847 --> 00:37:04,015 I don't get it. 523 00:37:05,141 --> 00:37:06,475 Anyway, 524 00:37:08,102 --> 00:37:09,979 by my estimate... 525 00:37:11,606 --> 00:37:13,065 I don't know where we are. 526 00:37:14,317 --> 00:37:15,443 What's your name? 527 00:37:15,735 --> 00:37:16,652 Jean-Claude. 528 00:37:16,903 --> 00:37:18,362 Why not take off again? 529 00:37:19,780 --> 00:37:21,032 Well, it's because... 530 00:37:22,658 --> 00:37:26,203 there are these sorts of... camels... 531 00:37:27,788 --> 00:37:31,125 tanks, blocking the way, and the runway. 532 00:37:32,001 --> 00:37:33,544 Camels or tanks? 533 00:37:34,295 --> 00:37:35,296 Both. 534 00:37:36,130 --> 00:37:38,925 With another copilot, we wouldn't be here. 535 00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,178 Hang on a second. 536 00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:44,347 To err is human. He's human. 537 00:37:44,513 --> 00:37:45,681 He's an error. 538 00:37:46,057 --> 00:37:48,643 Hang on. We need to find a solution. 539 00:37:48,809 --> 00:37:50,937 The point isn't how we got here. 540 00:37:51,103 --> 00:37:54,273 Even if we know who had the dumb idea to steal a plane. 541 00:37:54,523 --> 00:37:56,233 Hang on a second! 542 00:37:56,567 --> 00:37:58,653 You all agreed. 543 00:38:00,488 --> 00:38:01,697 Are you kidding? 544 00:38:01,864 --> 00:38:03,115 You all applauded me. 545 00:38:04,992 --> 00:38:07,244 That doesn't mean we agreed. 546 00:38:07,870 --> 00:38:09,163 Excuse me. 547 00:38:10,373 --> 00:38:12,041 There's a crowd out there. 548 00:38:12,625 --> 00:38:13,709 A big one? 549 00:38:14,502 --> 00:38:15,211 Yes. 550 00:38:15,378 --> 00:38:16,504 Dangerous? 551 00:38:17,505 --> 00:38:18,214 Yes. 552 00:38:18,965 --> 00:38:20,675 Pull the shades down. 553 00:38:21,217 --> 00:38:23,469 Show them you've got balls! 554 00:38:24,512 --> 00:38:27,306 Just relax. Dangerous, how? What'd they do? 555 00:38:29,225 --> 00:38:31,852 Foreign equals savage? How trite! 556 00:38:32,019 --> 00:38:32,937 Nice going. 557 00:38:33,771 --> 00:38:37,358 Violence ain't always where you think it is. 558 00:38:37,858 --> 00:38:39,735 You're creating the danger. 559 00:38:40,194 --> 00:38:42,488 They can sense we're afraid. 560 00:38:42,947 --> 00:38:44,323 - What awful grammar! - You said it! 561 00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:45,741 Let's go talk to them. 562 00:38:45,908 --> 00:38:47,702 Human is our native tongue. 563 00:38:48,619 --> 00:38:50,579 Are you sure you? 564 00:38:50,830 --> 00:38:51,914 Gwen, come on. 565 00:39:07,013 --> 00:39:08,806 - She's American. - I think so. 566 00:39:14,645 --> 00:39:16,897 Shut the door! 567 00:39:17,815 --> 00:39:19,650 - What's your name? - Move back! 568 00:39:19,859 --> 00:39:21,652 - What's your name? - Jean-Claude. 569 00:39:21,819 --> 00:39:23,320 Shut the door, Jean-Claude. 570 00:39:23,612 --> 00:39:25,281 Give him a hand! 571 00:39:27,116 --> 00:39:28,034 Shut the door! 572 00:39:31,662 --> 00:39:32,872 Help me! 573 00:39:33,039 --> 00:39:34,415 - Jean-Claude! - Help me! 574 00:39:34,707 --> 00:39:35,875 They shot at us! 575 00:39:41,088 --> 00:39:43,591 Starboard, everyone! 576 00:39:47,261 --> 00:39:48,512 MY leg[ 577 00:39:49,597 --> 00:39:54,435 Those motherfucking faggot sons of inbred bitches! 578 00:39:55,227 --> 00:39:56,812 - You okay? - Get a doctor! 579 00:39:56,979 --> 00:39:58,439 See if there is one. 580 00:39:58,856 --> 00:39:59,982 Can't you go? 581 00:40:00,149 --> 00:40:01,984 Your shirt! I'll do a tourniquet. 582 00:40:02,777 --> 00:40:04,779 It's a Lacoste. Duty-free. 583 00:40:04,945 --> 00:40:06,989 - It's a fake! - It is not. 584 00:40:07,156 --> 00:40:08,908 The Lacoste logo isn't a frog. 585 00:40:09,825 --> 00:40:11,118 Gimme that rag! 586 00:40:12,495 --> 00:40:14,497 Move back. Give her some air. 587 00:40:14,955 --> 00:40:16,207 Let me through! 588 00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,463 - Take it easy. - Mind if I handle this? 589 00:40:22,630 --> 00:40:23,547 Miss? 590 00:40:23,964 --> 00:40:25,007 Can you hear me? 591 00:40:25,424 --> 00:40:26,801 Yes, she needs a doctor. 592 00:40:26,967 --> 00:40:28,094 You're not one? 593 00:40:28,260 --> 00:40:30,096 Sort of. A podiatrist. 594 00:40:30,971 --> 00:40:32,765 - Then beat it. - I'll try to help. 595 00:40:35,142 --> 00:40:36,644 Careful, she has lice. 596 00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:38,437 Lice? 597 00:40:40,314 --> 00:40:41,565 We've got a problem. 598 00:40:49,031 --> 00:40:51,200 That's no problem, that's a corpse. 599 00:40:52,743 --> 00:40:54,203 - You okay? - I'm all right. 600 00:40:54,370 --> 00:40:56,497 I'm allergic to dead bodies. 601 00:40:57,081 --> 00:41:00,334 Don't tell his girlfriend or the others. They'll panic. 602 00:41:00,501 --> 00:41:01,836 Not necessarily. 603 00:41:02,461 --> 00:41:04,213 Sorry, but there's... 604 00:41:06,090 --> 00:41:07,133 Yes, they will. 605 00:41:09,301 --> 00:41:11,220 - I'm gonna scream. - Don't. 606 00:41:12,179 --> 00:41:13,681 I'm not okay. 607 00:41:13,848 --> 00:41:15,599 - You'll be okay. - I won't be okay at all. 608 00:41:15,766 --> 00:41:17,518 All these corpse allergies! 609 00:41:17,685 --> 00:41:18,811 So he's dead? 610 00:41:19,145 --> 00:41:22,940 Let's say he's not completely alive. What did you want? 611 00:41:23,107 --> 00:41:24,441 It was to... 612 00:41:25,359 --> 00:41:27,736 Spit it out. Calm down. 613 00:41:27,903 --> 00:41:29,196 - I can't remember. - You can! 614 00:41:31,907 --> 00:41:32,950 Is it the girl? 615 00:41:33,367 --> 00:41:35,744 She's fine. I hate being like this! 616 00:41:35,911 --> 00:41:38,914 - Is she in a lot of pain? - Yes, but it's okay. 617 00:41:40,166 --> 00:41:41,333 This drives me nuts! 618 00:41:42,877 --> 00:41:43,878 Now I know! 619 00:41:44,628 --> 00:41:45,880 Armed men on board. 620 00:42:13,782 --> 00:42:15,993 I'd go, but my cholesterol's high. 621 00:42:17,661 --> 00:42:20,956 I would, too, but you're in front of me. 622 00:42:21,332 --> 00:42:22,499 Sorry. 623 00:42:24,919 --> 00:42:28,964 "True courage is being brave precisely when you feel it the least." 624 00:42:29,131 --> 00:42:30,299 Jules Renard. 625 00:42:38,682 --> 00:42:41,018 How much is a liter of oil? 626 00:42:55,908 --> 00:42:58,077 They'll kill me. I'm a lousy bargainer. 627 00:42:58,244 --> 00:42:59,745 You're the boss, chief. 628 00:42:59,912 --> 00:43:00,913 That helps. 629 00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:09,338 I'll negotiate for water and for them to clear the runway. 630 00:43:18,305 --> 00:43:23,102 From history's heights 631 00:43:23,269 --> 00:43:25,854 Where the sun of your bravery 632 00:43:26,021 --> 00:43:28,399 Laid siege to death 633 00:43:28,565 --> 00:43:32,069 Here lies the clarity 634 00:43:32,278 --> 00:43:34,863 The deep transparency 635 00:43:35,030 --> 00:43:38,117 Of your beloved presence 636 00:43:38,284 --> 00:43:42,162 Commandante Che Guevara... 637 00:44:19,366 --> 00:44:20,409 Mind if I Sit? 638 00:44:22,453 --> 00:44:23,329 No. 639 00:44:24,538 --> 00:44:25,414 Thanks. 640 00:44:32,504 --> 00:44:33,297 You okay? 641 00:44:35,382 --> 00:44:36,342 I'm hungry. 642 00:44:43,057 --> 00:44:46,435 It's not at all sure that he'll be back. 643 00:44:49,772 --> 00:44:50,856 Think so? 644 00:44:52,107 --> 00:44:53,233 There's even 645 00:44:53,942 --> 00:44:55,736 very little chance. 646 00:44:59,198 --> 00:45:00,783 I know what you're thinking. 647 00:45:02,076 --> 00:45:02,868 Really? 648 00:45:04,453 --> 00:45:05,746 Because I'm a stewardess? 649 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:09,917 Not at all! 650 00:45:11,293 --> 00:45:12,878 Yes, that's it. 651 00:45:13,712 --> 00:45:15,631 If I'd been a rabbi... 652 00:45:17,383 --> 00:45:18,592 That was very funny. 653 00:45:20,344 --> 00:45:21,970 Being funny is pointless. 654 00:45:24,181 --> 00:45:27,434 Girls like you are rare. 655 00:45:28,352 --> 00:45:29,395 Meaning? 656 00:45:31,021 --> 00:45:35,234 Usually discussions with stewardess don't reach great heights. 657 00:45:35,401 --> 00:45:37,528 If you'll forgive the pun. 658 00:45:39,321 --> 00:45:42,491 But conversations with pilots, those are... 659 00:45:44,243 --> 00:45:46,370 That's a good one! 660 00:45:46,537 --> 00:45:47,496 Excellent 661 00:45:47,830 --> 00:45:49,665 - Very funny. - What's your name again? 662 00:45:49,832 --> 00:45:50,874 Jean-Claude. 663 00:45:52,793 --> 00:45:54,837 I can't see myself with a Jean-Claude. 664 00:45:59,967 --> 00:46:01,260 See you later. 665 00:46:01,802 --> 00:46:02,636 So long. 666 00:46:06,890 --> 00:46:10,436 How to Die in Style 667 00:46:14,815 --> 00:46:16,733 It all started with an argument. 668 00:46:17,067 --> 00:46:18,152 One weekend. 669 00:46:19,069 --> 00:46:21,905 We said some terrible things. 670 00:46:23,699 --> 00:46:25,701 You know what it was about? 671 00:46:30,497 --> 00:46:33,333 The cable modem had been out for 3 months. 672 00:46:36,837 --> 00:46:37,838 I see. 673 00:46:39,506 --> 00:46:42,843 So no TV, no Internet, no telephone. 674 00:46:44,761 --> 00:46:47,014 So they all left. 675 00:46:47,222 --> 00:46:49,349 No TV, no Internet, no phone. 676 00:46:50,726 --> 00:46:51,894 What d'you expect? 677 00:46:53,645 --> 00:46:55,647 She asked for a divorce. 678 00:46:55,814 --> 00:46:59,276 She got custody of the kids and moved away. 679 00:47:03,363 --> 00:47:04,364 Then 680 00:47:05,199 --> 00:47:08,285 Internet worked again like magic. 681 00:47:10,913 --> 00:47:15,584 But I really don't need it anymore, since I see my kids in a square 682 00:47:18,795 --> 00:47:19,588 in SablA©... 683 00:47:21,131 --> 00:47:22,090 sur-Sarthe. 684 00:47:33,936 --> 00:47:36,647 Overall, it went pretty well. 685 00:47:37,814 --> 00:47:39,483 They're cooperative. 686 00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:41,735 They gave me water. 687 00:47:42,486 --> 00:47:46,198 But they want two little things. 688 00:47:46,907 --> 00:47:47,991 Not my fan! 689 00:47:48,158 --> 00:47:49,409 They said everything. 690 00:47:56,208 --> 00:47:58,710 The ring Mom gave me on her deathbed. 691 00:47:58,877 --> 00:48:00,045 Sorry. 692 00:48:01,046 --> 00:48:03,048 It's for both of us. 693 00:48:08,220 --> 00:48:09,096 Never mind. 694 00:48:10,055 --> 00:48:10,889 What? 695 00:48:11,974 --> 00:48:13,308 No way. 696 00:48:13,475 --> 00:48:14,643 "Everything" 697 00:48:15,102 --> 00:48:17,104 Don't even think about it. 698 00:48:22,776 --> 00:48:23,902 That's low. 699 00:48:26,488 --> 00:48:29,741 The second thing is, and they're adamant... 700 00:48:30,409 --> 00:48:33,453 They want us to hand over 701 00:48:34,621 --> 00:48:35,747 the women... 702 00:48:40,460 --> 00:48:41,420 Hang on! 703 00:48:41,587 --> 00:48:43,422 It's horrible. Sure. 704 00:48:43,714 --> 00:48:45,257 No one can say it isn't. 705 00:48:45,424 --> 00:48:47,301 Why? Because it's horrible. 706 00:48:47,467 --> 00:48:50,387 But saying it won't get us very far. 707 00:48:51,221 --> 00:48:52,848 We hand over the women. 708 00:48:54,808 --> 00:48:57,185 Hang on! 709 00:48:58,020 --> 00:48:59,271 I can hand myself over. 710 00:48:59,438 --> 00:49:01,607 No, that's horrible! 711 00:49:03,984 --> 00:49:06,320 It's horrible, and yet... 712 00:49:06,653 --> 00:49:08,071 Are you out of your mind? 713 00:49:08,363 --> 00:49:09,865 How vile, 714 00:49:10,407 --> 00:49:11,867 monstrous, 715 00:49:12,034 --> 00:49:14,036 and low 716 00:49:14,453 --> 00:49:17,914 to think for a minute of sacrificing any one of us! 717 00:49:19,750 --> 00:49:21,877 So let me finish my sentence. 718 00:49:22,878 --> 00:49:24,963 They want the women 719 00:49:27,382 --> 00:49:28,592 and the men! 720 00:49:34,056 --> 00:49:36,266 I warned you, I'm no bargainer. 721 00:49:36,516 --> 00:49:39,061 No Tonton Macoute's gonna bumfuck me. 722 00:49:39,227 --> 00:49:42,731 Sorry to be crude, but they think we're ninnies. 723 00:49:42,898 --> 00:49:45,776 Stop! Now you all shut up 724 00:49:46,234 --> 00:49:48,070 and listen to me. 725 00:49:48,236 --> 00:49:51,114 My name's Alain and I'm policeman. 726 00:49:51,281 --> 00:49:53,575 Up to now I was on vacation. 727 00:49:53,825 --> 00:49:56,662 But vacation's over and I'm back on duty. 728 00:49:56,828 --> 00:49:59,289 So get ready for a fight. 729 00:49:59,581 --> 00:50:02,876 Those redskins are in for it! 730 00:50:06,505 --> 00:50:08,006 Kill the bastards! 731 00:50:08,173 --> 00:50:09,549 Aren't you non-violent? 732 00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:13,887 Sure, but to be non-violent, you gotta know violence. 733 00:50:14,471 --> 00:50:17,224 That cop's gotta make up his mind! 734 00:50:39,705 --> 00:50:45,502 Arise you children of our motherland 735 00:50:45,669 --> 00:50:50,298 Oh now is here our glorious day! 736 00:50:51,258 --> 00:50:55,971 Over us the bloodstained banner 737 00:50:56,471 --> 00:51:00,642 Of tyranny holds sway! 738 00:51:24,916 --> 00:51:25,834 Excuse me. 739 00:52:29,773 --> 00:52:31,775 Help me! 740 00:52:47,457 --> 00:52:48,959 Why didn't you help before? 741 00:52:49,125 --> 00:52:51,711 Sorry, it was a personal initiative. 742 00:52:51,878 --> 00:52:53,588 I wasn't in the mood. 743 00:52:54,464 --> 00:52:55,423 Thanks. 744 00:53:05,809 --> 00:53:07,644 Now what, boss? 745 00:53:07,811 --> 00:53:10,689 Yeah, what do we do? 746 00:53:10,981 --> 00:53:12,190 What do we do? 747 00:53:14,526 --> 00:53:16,987 I suggest we vote, but... 748 00:53:17,362 --> 00:53:19,614 To decide on the next fuck-up? 749 00:53:21,199 --> 00:53:25,203 You call saving my life a fuck-up? Thanks a lot. 750 00:53:25,370 --> 00:53:27,330 I didn't mean that. 751 00:53:32,168 --> 00:53:33,211 I have an idea. 752 00:53:41,595 --> 00:53:43,054 How do you say hostage? 753 00:53:43,555 --> 00:53:45,473 - You want help? - No, you translate. 754 00:53:45,724 --> 00:53:49,144 Give us food and drink and clear the runway, 755 00:53:49,811 --> 00:53:51,104 or we kill your leader. 756 00:53:51,271 --> 00:53:52,939 - What? - Not kill, really. 757 00:53:53,106 --> 00:53:54,858 You sure of yourself, because... 758 00:53:55,025 --> 00:53:56,776 All right, all right. 759 00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:58,486 We cut off his leg. 760 00:53:58,653 --> 00:54:00,697 - Why his leg? - It's psychological. 761 00:54:01,948 --> 00:54:04,075 Okay, his foot. Translate that. 762 00:54:12,500 --> 00:54:13,668 Bull feces. 763 00:54:18,673 --> 00:54:20,175 I got that. 764 00:54:24,346 --> 00:54:27,182 - That's risky. - It could destabilize him. 765 00:54:28,183 --> 00:54:30,727 He does look very destabilized. 766 00:54:55,752 --> 00:54:58,505 I'd like my little fan back, too. 767 00:55:01,132 --> 00:55:02,676 I won't cut his leg off! 768 00:55:02,842 --> 00:55:04,260 Just his foot, okay? 769 00:55:04,427 --> 00:55:07,847 If it's just his foot, okay. It won't hurt as much. 770 00:55:09,516 --> 00:55:10,475 Was that irony? 771 00:55:12,894 --> 00:55:15,188 Now what do we do, boss? 772 00:55:16,314 --> 00:55:17,190 Well, what? 773 00:55:17,357 --> 00:55:18,108 Nothing. 774 00:55:18,274 --> 00:55:19,317 I don't know. 775 00:55:19,609 --> 00:55:23,238 I don't know about you, but that music drives me nuts. 776 00:55:23,405 --> 00:55:25,365 Want me to check your hair? 777 00:55:27,033 --> 00:55:27,909 I've got it. 778 00:55:29,786 --> 00:55:31,329 We cut his foot off. 779 00:55:32,872 --> 00:55:34,541 Is he dead at least? 780 00:55:34,708 --> 00:55:37,669 No, he's napping. He had a late night. 781 00:55:40,296 --> 00:55:43,508 It's your idea, so you do the honors. 782 00:55:45,301 --> 00:55:47,971 We'll leave you. Bye. 783 00:55:55,020 --> 00:55:56,563 The foot's on the end, right? 784 00:55:56,730 --> 00:55:58,523 Yes, on the end. 785 00:56:01,943 --> 00:56:05,530 Who does your company's musical programming? Hitler? 786 00:56:11,369 --> 00:56:12,579 I can't do it! 787 00:56:41,691 --> 00:56:44,652 I can't do it. His skin is all icky and limp. 788 00:56:44,819 --> 00:56:46,196 It wobbles. I can't. 789 00:56:46,362 --> 00:56:47,530 What's all the blood? 790 00:56:47,697 --> 00:56:50,867 I cut my finger on the machete. Sorry. 791 00:56:51,159 --> 00:56:53,036 - What now, boss? - I have an idea. 792 00:56:54,079 --> 00:56:56,414 I don't cut feet, I cut toenails! 793 00:56:57,040 --> 00:57:01,336 Then cut his toenails, only a bit higher up. 794 00:57:07,383 --> 00:57:08,510 Let's try something else. 795 00:57:32,575 --> 00:57:34,744 I have to cut off your foot. 796 00:57:34,953 --> 00:57:37,789 I admit I don't really feel like it. 797 00:57:38,081 --> 00:57:41,543 So, tell me if you mind. 798 00:57:41,793 --> 00:57:43,628 Could you cut off your foot, please? 799 00:57:53,513 --> 00:57:54,806 Sorry about the music. 800 00:58:09,404 --> 00:58:10,613 - He's dead. - What? 801 00:58:11,656 --> 00:58:12,782 You killed him? 802 00:58:12,949 --> 00:58:14,117 He deceased himself. 803 00:58:15,285 --> 00:58:16,369 How'd he do that? 804 00:58:17,162 --> 00:58:20,456 He rushed at my knife and stuck it in his gut. 805 00:58:24,460 --> 00:58:26,588 I've never killed anyone before. 806 00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:30,967 "It's not evil but good that produces guilt." Lacan. 807 00:58:31,593 --> 00:58:33,595 He was our only hostage. 808 00:58:34,053 --> 00:58:35,930 I'm no boss, I'm a piece of shit. 809 00:58:36,139 --> 00:58:39,809 Now, now. Don't get all worked up about it. 810 00:58:52,113 --> 00:58:55,658 I'd like to apologize, 811 00:58:57,076 --> 00:58:58,745 because we're all going to die. 812 00:59:26,481 --> 00:59:28,024 We're all gonna croak. 813 00:59:29,859 --> 00:59:31,778 Would you make love with me? 814 00:59:34,364 --> 00:59:36,950 Does anyone have any anti-depressants? 815 00:59:42,997 --> 00:59:44,540 Reading a catalogue? 816 00:59:48,753 --> 00:59:51,673 You travel with the JC Penny catalogue? It's heavy! 817 00:59:54,259 --> 00:59:55,927 It relaxes me when I'm stressed. 818 00:59:59,847 --> 01:00:01,349 And it's Sears. 819 01:00:02,058 --> 01:00:03,726 It's not Penny's, it's Sears. 820 01:00:04,811 --> 01:00:05,645 I see. 821 01:00:06,562 --> 01:00:09,065 Here, look. Be careful. 822 01:00:09,983 --> 01:00:11,526 Page 147. 823 01:00:16,656 --> 01:00:18,241 See that girl? 824 01:00:18,825 --> 01:00:20,618 What age do you give her? 40? 825 01:00:22,328 --> 01:00:23,997 When I was little, 826 01:00:24,289 --> 01:00:26,040 she advertised bed sheets. 827 01:00:28,543 --> 01:00:31,963 You recreate an ideal world that doesn't scare you, 828 01:00:32,755 --> 01:00:34,465 that you can control. 829 01:00:36,009 --> 01:00:37,427 You like fakes. 830 01:00:37,969 --> 01:00:39,929 That's why you're a waffle spy. 831 01:00:41,180 --> 01:00:43,266 What's going on? You nuts? 832 01:00:43,433 --> 01:00:45,143 I didn't ask you! 833 01:00:46,936 --> 01:00:49,856 Without you, I'd be sitting quietly in my corner, 834 01:00:50,106 --> 01:00:51,566 like I always have. 835 01:00:52,358 --> 01:00:54,360 All this is your fault! 836 01:00:54,610 --> 01:00:56,070 What? My fault? 837 01:00:57,113 --> 01:00:58,406 Are you joking? 838 01:00:59,407 --> 01:01:01,492 Is it my fault you're in waffles? 839 01:01:01,909 --> 01:01:04,996 Or so neurotic you can't talk to midgets? 840 01:01:05,538 --> 01:01:07,248 Or wear serial killer glasses? 841 01:01:07,540 --> 01:01:08,791 Or that you're ugly? 842 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,793 Ugly? Me? 843 01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:13,129 I'm ugly? Ugly yourself! 844 01:01:13,629 --> 01:01:16,716 Me, ugly? Say what you like, but I'm not ugly! 845 01:01:16,883 --> 01:01:21,387 You are ugly! You think it's enough to be beautiful to be beautiful? 846 01:01:21,554 --> 01:01:23,181 I know what I mean. 847 01:01:23,473 --> 01:01:25,850 As for me, I might be ugly, 848 01:01:26,017 --> 01:01:28,978 but I'd rather be ugly than a sorry stewardess. 849 01:01:29,145 --> 01:01:31,147 - Alone and jobless. - Who says I'm alone? 850 01:01:31,314 --> 01:01:33,733 It's obvious you're alone! I can tell. 851 01:01:33,900 --> 01:01:37,362 I can spot single girls and nosejobs anywhere. 852 01:01:37,528 --> 01:01:40,531 You're alone and that makes you ugly! 853 01:01:40,740 --> 01:01:42,241 You stupid moron! 854 01:01:42,575 --> 01:01:44,494 Stupid like this catalogue! 855 01:01:50,333 --> 01:01:51,876 How's life? 856 01:01:55,546 --> 01:01:56,464 Is this yours? 857 01:01:56,631 --> 01:01:57,298 Yes. 858 01:01:58,966 --> 01:02:00,134 Better and better. 859 01:02:11,396 --> 01:02:12,438 Here. 860 01:02:18,277 --> 01:02:19,070 What's that? 861 01:02:19,278 --> 01:02:22,198 The rebel leader's foot. I'm an army surgeon. 862 01:02:22,657 --> 01:02:25,118 Why not say so when the girl needed one? 863 01:02:25,743 --> 01:02:27,078 She has lice! 864 01:02:29,664 --> 01:02:30,790 We can take off soon. 865 01:02:32,083 --> 01:02:33,418 The boss is back, 866 01:02:33,709 --> 01:02:35,253 so they're in for it! 867 01:02:37,422 --> 01:02:38,840 Here's what we do. 868 01:02:39,006 --> 01:02:42,760 See the tank truck over there? It's their gas revisions. 869 01:02:43,052 --> 01:02:44,262 Provisions. 870 01:02:44,429 --> 01:02:46,097 - You can say both. - Either. 871 01:02:46,264 --> 01:02:48,766 We move foward, throw one, 872 01:02:48,933 --> 01:02:50,935 it explodes, and we take off. 873 01:02:51,102 --> 01:02:52,395 And their leader? 874 01:02:52,937 --> 01:02:53,771 What leader? 875 01:02:53,938 --> 01:02:58,067 The dead guy whose foot we cut off, who was to be returned alive. 876 01:02:58,234 --> 01:02:59,026 Oh, yeah. 877 01:02:59,819 --> 01:03:01,654 The leader, I know. 878 01:03:01,988 --> 01:03:05,408 Same plan, but on top of it, we throw out the leader. 879 01:03:06,659 --> 01:03:07,827 Brilliant. 880 01:03:11,456 --> 01:03:12,665 You sulking? 881 01:03:12,832 --> 01:03:14,250 Absolutely not. 882 01:03:15,042 --> 01:03:16,878 Sorry for what I said earlier. 883 01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:19,213 That's easy. 884 01:03:20,381 --> 01:03:22,508 But I think I hit the nail on the head. 885 01:03:23,551 --> 01:03:27,472 Sorry to interrupt a moving scene that could make a stone weep. 886 01:03:27,889 --> 01:03:31,058 Your plan is excellent. 887 01:03:31,767 --> 01:03:33,394 - What's your name again? - Dagobert. 888 01:03:33,561 --> 01:03:35,396 - I'm not joking. - Me neither. 889 01:03:36,022 --> 01:03:37,482 - Sorry. - What'd you say? 890 01:03:37,857 --> 01:03:40,860 I can't remember, Dagobert. 891 01:03:41,027 --> 01:03:43,237 You said his plan is excellent. 892 01:03:45,114 --> 01:03:46,199 Are you all right? 893 01:03:46,866 --> 01:03:51,704 No. I took pills, thinking our time was up. I'm done for. 894 01:03:53,122 --> 01:03:55,541 - What'd you take? - Vitamin C. 895 01:03:57,293 --> 01:03:58,377 Come on. 896 01:03:58,753 --> 01:04:00,171 You all with me on this? 897 01:04:00,338 --> 01:04:03,424 You'd better believe it. 898 01:04:03,674 --> 01:04:04,967 We'll take 'em apart. 899 01:04:06,052 --> 01:04:09,013 Could you hold this? Jean-Claude? 900 01:04:09,263 --> 01:04:10,640 Come over here. 901 01:04:12,475 --> 01:04:15,686 - Mind if I call you Jean-Claude? - It's my name. 902 01:04:16,646 --> 01:04:20,691 It's a nice name. Like a compound name. 903 01:04:20,900 --> 01:04:24,695 Like Jean-Pierre, but it's Claude instead of Pierre. 904 01:04:26,447 --> 01:04:29,909 You'd be more useful sitting there with the others. 905 01:04:30,284 --> 01:04:31,452 What d'you mean? 906 01:04:32,203 --> 01:04:33,579 We can't mess up now. 907 01:04:39,585 --> 01:04:41,337 Can I say goodbye? 908 01:04:53,266 --> 01:04:54,308 I know. 909 01:05:12,910 --> 01:05:13,786 How's it going? 910 01:05:19,041 --> 01:05:22,503 Careful, we have a nasty crosswind at 310°, 8 knots. 911 01:05:27,216 --> 01:05:29,427 Cabin crew, arm the slides. 912 01:05:30,177 --> 01:05:34,640 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm the real captain on board. 913 01:05:34,807 --> 01:05:37,977 We're taking off for an eventless flight. 914 01:05:39,145 --> 01:05:40,521 We're about to go. 915 01:05:40,938 --> 01:05:43,482 We start moving, I open the door, 916 01:05:43,941 --> 01:05:46,777 you toss a flare, throw out the body and we take off. 917 01:05:46,944 --> 01:05:48,821 - Yes, boss. - I like that. 918 01:05:49,697 --> 01:05:51,449 They're clearing the runway. Ready? 919 01:05:51,699 --> 01:05:53,534 Don't worry, it's like teargas. 920 01:05:54,076 --> 01:05:55,661 Let's go. Ready? 921 01:06:03,711 --> 01:06:05,796 What a jerk! I don't believe it. 922 01:06:06,005 --> 01:06:08,049 Wait until the door opens. 923 01:06:08,424 --> 01:06:09,550 I freaked out. 924 01:06:11,052 --> 01:06:13,471 Quit laughing, I can't concentrate. 925 01:06:13,638 --> 01:06:15,056 I love it when you're angry. 926 01:06:17,183 --> 01:06:18,017 What's going on? 927 01:06:18,184 --> 01:06:20,645 They're coming! Plan B! 928 01:06:20,978 --> 01:06:23,022 - We have a Plan B? - The second flare. 929 01:06:23,439 --> 01:06:25,524 Let me. Gimme that. 930 01:06:27,860 --> 01:06:29,612 She hit the tank truck. 931 01:06:30,488 --> 01:06:32,073 Bull's eye! 932 01:06:32,865 --> 01:06:35,284 We handle the body, you take the door. 933 01:06:40,790 --> 01:06:41,624 Fuck! 934 01:06:41,999 --> 01:06:45,711 What'd you do? Why close it so quick? 935 01:06:45,961 --> 01:06:49,548 I'm a policeman, not a body-thrower for Boeing! 936 01:06:51,050 --> 01:06:52,468 They're catching up! 937 01:06:52,718 --> 01:06:53,427 They're catching up! 938 01:07:01,519 --> 01:07:04,230 - Turn down the music. - I can't. 939 01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:05,898 Do something! 940 01:07:06,232 --> 01:07:08,609 No way. The hand's full of fingers. 941 01:07:08,901 --> 01:07:09,819 Move back! 942 01:07:11,362 --> 01:07:13,280 Would you quit laughing! 943 01:07:13,447 --> 01:07:16,117 Let me laugh! You're so castrating! 944 01:07:16,283 --> 01:07:19,203 Me, castrating? Not at all. 945 01:07:19,412 --> 01:07:21,288 Here they come! 946 01:07:29,213 --> 01:07:30,172 That must hurt. 947 01:07:30,339 --> 01:07:31,048 What? 948 01:07:31,215 --> 01:07:33,342 Their leader is stuck in the engine. 949 01:07:34,468 --> 01:07:36,762 There's trouble with the left engine. 950 01:07:37,221 --> 01:07:40,099 It'll pass. Gun the engines! 951 01:07:40,433 --> 01:07:41,600 You bet! 952 01:07:45,938 --> 01:07:47,064 What's that? 953 01:07:47,523 --> 01:07:50,025 The leader just came out of the engine. 954 01:07:54,155 --> 01:07:56,782 We'll hit their trucks. Go! 955 01:08:28,397 --> 01:08:29,982 Anything wrong? 956 01:08:32,193 --> 01:08:33,444 I'm all right. 957 01:08:33,986 --> 01:08:35,404 It's goat's milk. 958 01:08:36,113 --> 01:08:39,450 I've got a cure: Crapette. In 5 hands. 959 01:08:44,288 --> 01:08:45,456 Feel better? 960 01:08:48,375 --> 01:08:50,669 I got used to the idea of dying. 961 01:08:52,129 --> 01:08:55,341 Why not make love to my husband and I watch? 962 01:09:07,269 --> 01:09:08,813 "Studies on Hysteria." 963 01:09:09,271 --> 01:09:10,940 You read it? 964 01:09:11,148 --> 01:09:13,192 No, not that one. 965 01:09:14,985 --> 01:09:16,862 What have you read by Freud? 966 01:09:20,449 --> 01:09:25,371 The study on the behavior of disturbed children. 967 01:09:28,040 --> 01:09:29,750 That was a good one. 968 01:09:35,965 --> 01:09:37,174 Hear that? 969 01:09:38,300 --> 01:09:39,844 Now what? 970 01:09:43,472 --> 01:09:44,974 Yes, that's odd. 971 01:09:46,183 --> 01:09:47,184 I'll go see. 972 01:10:01,615 --> 01:10:03,242 It's the midget. He's crying. 973 01:10:03,784 --> 01:10:05,202 What'd you do to him? 974 01:10:05,369 --> 01:10:07,371 Nothing! He was already crying. 975 01:10:07,538 --> 01:10:08,706 What's wrong? 976 01:10:08,873 --> 01:10:10,249 How should I know? 977 01:10:10,416 --> 01:10:11,750 Why didn't you ask? 978 01:10:11,917 --> 01:10:13,419 What am I supposed to say? 979 01:10:13,586 --> 01:10:16,005 I don't know. Ask, "What's wrong?" 980 01:10:16,171 --> 01:10:18,674 "Why are you crying?" Maybe he's in pain. 981 01:10:18,841 --> 01:10:22,177 He's your pal, not mine. It's your relationship. 982 01:10:22,344 --> 01:10:25,222 He's not my pal. I don't even know him! 983 01:10:28,142 --> 01:10:29,476 My pal! 984 01:10:53,417 --> 01:10:54,543 Are you okay? 985 01:10:56,253 --> 01:10:57,504 Can I do anything? 986 01:10:57,671 --> 01:10:59,006 No, I'm all right. 987 01:11:02,509 --> 01:11:03,719 Are you in pain? 988 01:11:04,511 --> 01:11:05,888 No, not at all. 989 01:11:08,390 --> 01:11:09,642 What is it, then? 990 01:11:10,601 --> 01:11:13,062 Nothing, it's silly. 991 01:11:13,228 --> 01:11:15,731 Who cares if it's silly! 992 01:11:15,898 --> 01:11:17,441 At this point... 993 01:11:21,862 --> 01:11:25,240 It's just that, when I fell earlier, 994 01:11:25,741 --> 01:11:27,660 I lost my pet. 995 01:11:28,369 --> 01:11:31,330 He ran away. I'm afraid something's happened to him. 996 01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:35,751 It's all right, we'll find him. 997 01:11:36,251 --> 01:11:38,796 What kind of pet? A cat? 998 01:11:38,963 --> 01:11:40,130 No, a rat. 999 01:11:41,966 --> 01:11:43,050 A rat? 1000 01:11:43,801 --> 01:11:45,844 A rat from Honduras. 1001 01:11:46,095 --> 01:11:47,304 It's a little bigger. 1002 01:11:48,806 --> 01:11:50,516 Bigger than a rat? 1003 01:11:50,849 --> 01:11:53,894 That's right. His name's CompiA¨gne. 1004 01:11:54,061 --> 01:11:55,688 Like your home town? 1005 01:11:55,896 --> 01:11:56,939 No, why? 1006 01:11:57,106 --> 01:11:58,232 No reason. 1007 01:12:02,903 --> 01:12:04,279 Could you help me find him? 1008 01:12:04,863 --> 01:12:07,574 Even if there's little hope. 1009 01:12:08,117 --> 01:12:12,121 But don't mention it to the others. Rats have a bad image. 1010 01:12:12,621 --> 01:12:15,332 Some people don't like them. 1011 01:12:16,125 --> 01:12:17,835 There are idiots everywhere. 1012 01:12:18,502 --> 01:12:19,336 Yes. 1013 01:12:19,628 --> 01:12:22,047 Sure, right. We'll do that. 1014 01:12:22,214 --> 01:12:25,384 We'll find CompiA¨gne. He must be somewhere. 1015 01:12:26,969 --> 01:12:27,970 Thanks. 1016 01:12:28,512 --> 01:12:29,680 That's kind. 1017 01:12:29,930 --> 01:12:31,056 Really kind. 1018 01:12:34,143 --> 01:12:35,310 Great. 1019 01:12:36,603 --> 01:12:38,147 I'll look that way. 1020 01:12:38,605 --> 01:12:40,232 And I'll look this way. 1021 01:12:42,026 --> 01:12:44,903 Hang on. I thought you had a rat phobia. 1022 01:12:45,696 --> 01:12:49,158 I do, but he's a midget! He's not well, it's obvious. 1023 01:12:49,575 --> 01:12:52,911 Everyone pretends not to notice, as if he were normal. 1024 01:12:53,078 --> 01:12:57,458 But he's 30 inches tall. No bigger than a radiator! It's horrible. 1025 01:12:57,624 --> 01:12:59,043 Are you listening? 1026 01:13:02,379 --> 01:13:04,173 I came to thank you. 1027 01:13:09,178 --> 01:13:10,596 I'm a monster. 1028 01:13:11,346 --> 01:13:12,765 I'm a monster. 1029 01:13:14,475 --> 01:13:16,727 Maybe he has big radiators. 1030 01:13:24,485 --> 01:13:25,360 What? 1031 01:13:26,612 --> 01:13:28,155 Smell that? 1032 01:13:28,864 --> 01:13:30,866 I Wonder Where it's Coming from. 1033 01:13:31,909 --> 01:13:34,620 Something must be stuck in the engine. 1034 01:13:34,870 --> 01:13:36,538 Then it's a piece of rebel. 1035 01:13:38,040 --> 01:13:39,249 A piece of rebel. 1036 01:13:39,416 --> 01:13:40,250 What? 1037 01:13:41,335 --> 01:13:42,920 It's a piece of rebel. 1038 01:13:47,132 --> 01:13:48,675 What a lousy hand. 1039 01:13:51,386 --> 01:13:52,930 Sure you're all right? 1040 01:13:53,138 --> 01:13:54,515 Yes, maybe. 1041 01:13:57,893 --> 01:13:59,686 What is this? 1042 01:13:59,895 --> 01:14:00,687 What? 1043 01:14:02,231 --> 01:14:04,316 It stinks! Can't you smell anything? 1044 01:14:04,483 --> 01:14:05,943 It's not me, I swear. 1045 01:14:13,367 --> 01:14:14,243 That's awful. 1046 01:14:16,411 --> 01:14:17,830 Smells like rotting flesh. 1047 01:14:17,996 --> 01:14:20,124 Some animal must be stuck. 1048 01:14:20,541 --> 01:14:21,583 Oh, my God! 1049 01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:22,793 CompiA¨gne! 1050 01:14:24,211 --> 01:14:28,215 His rat. Must be stuck in an air duct. 1051 01:14:28,924 --> 01:14:30,425 He's fatally... dead. 1052 01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:32,636 What? 1053 01:14:32,803 --> 01:14:35,180 Do something! It stinks like a dead rat. 1054 01:14:40,310 --> 01:14:41,520 Shit. 1055 01:14:45,232 --> 01:14:48,110 Can you do anything about the smell? It's bad. 1056 01:14:48,318 --> 01:14:51,613 There's a way, but it'll give them a jolt. 1057 01:14:52,781 --> 01:14:57,035 Ladies and gentlemen, due to the foul odor aboard, 1058 01:14:57,202 --> 01:15:00,330 I have to act accordingly. 1059 01:15:00,831 --> 01:15:02,833 Sorry for the inconvenience. 1060 01:15:03,458 --> 01:15:04,710 What'd you do? 1061 01:15:16,930 --> 01:15:18,515 The mask suits you. 1062 01:15:18,682 --> 01:15:20,767 I know, I have a face for masks. 1063 01:15:29,109 --> 01:15:31,653 I am your father, Luke. 1064 01:15:32,029 --> 01:15:33,655 My name's not Luke. 1065 01:15:34,031 --> 01:15:36,241 And you can't be my father. 1066 01:15:36,783 --> 01:15:38,160 It's a joke. 1067 01:15:38,327 --> 01:15:40,078 I don't do jokes. 1068 01:15:40,370 --> 01:15:41,246 Oh. 1069 01:15:42,247 --> 01:15:44,041 - How about tennis? - What? 1070 01:15:44,791 --> 01:15:45,876 Never mind. 1071 01:15:47,127 --> 01:15:51,590 Why should we go to Paris? I'm from Perpignan. 1072 01:15:51,757 --> 01:15:53,800 Well, I'm from Belfort, so... 1073 01:15:53,967 --> 01:15:55,469 Why go to Perpignan? 1074 01:15:55,636 --> 01:15:59,264 Hey, comrades! I'm from Bethune. Perpignan's no good. 1075 01:15:59,932 --> 01:16:01,058 Let's go to Lille! 1076 01:16:01,225 --> 01:16:04,019 Talk about the sticks! 1077 01:16:05,312 --> 01:16:08,899 I'm from Martinique, so Perpignan or Lille's the same to me. 1078 01:16:09,066 --> 01:16:11,902 Let's compromise: Guadeloupe! 1079 01:16:12,152 --> 01:16:13,737 Cut it out! 1080 01:16:13,904 --> 01:16:16,114 Now you all shut the fuck up! 1081 01:16:16,281 --> 01:16:19,785 We're going to Paris, not your dipshit boondocks! 1082 01:16:20,410 --> 01:16:21,787 Dipshit boondocks? 1083 01:16:31,838 --> 01:16:33,674 Calm down! 1084 01:16:36,260 --> 01:16:37,928 Belfort! 1085 01:16:38,095 --> 01:16:41,014 Belfort, Perpignan... I'm from SablA©-sur-Sarthe. 1086 01:16:43,850 --> 01:16:45,560 I'm from Leghorn! 1087 01:16:53,860 --> 01:16:55,988 You're lovely when you fight. 1088 01:17:03,078 --> 01:17:04,913 Open up! You can't go in! 1089 01:17:05,163 --> 01:17:06,456 It's dangerous. 1090 01:17:12,004 --> 01:17:14,506 Ladies and gentlemen, 1091 01:17:14,673 --> 01:17:16,883 someone has entered 1092 01:17:17,050 --> 01:17:19,303 the cockpit, but don't worry. 1093 01:17:19,469 --> 01:17:21,179 We're on autopilot. 1094 01:17:31,440 --> 01:17:32,899 I bet it feels strange. 1095 01:17:35,319 --> 01:17:36,611 You Te wondering 1096 01:17:37,362 --> 01:17:39,072 who is speaking. 1097 01:17:40,324 --> 01:17:41,450 You don? See? 1098 01:17:43,243 --> 01:17:44,619 I can see you! 1099 01:17:47,748 --> 01:17:50,250 I'm the little jerk whose seat you take 1100 01:17:51,126 --> 01:17:52,794 without saying thank you. 1101 01:17:55,672 --> 01:17:59,509 The one you keep from listening to a Bulgarian Vocal Choir. 1102 01:18:00,093 --> 01:18:02,220 The one who never makes a fuss, 1103 01:18:03,138 --> 01:18:05,724 who's made indecent propositions. 1104 01:18:08,060 --> 01:18:09,436 But that's over now. 1105 01:18:11,313 --> 01:18:12,939 My name's Dimitri, 1106 01:18:13,523 --> 01:18:15,400 and you won't forget me. 1107 01:18:25,869 --> 01:18:27,454 I'll break the door down! 1108 01:18:33,710 --> 01:18:35,379 We're gonna die. 1109 01:18:36,421 --> 01:18:40,092 When I first saw you, I didn't think you capable of all this. 1110 01:18:40,509 --> 01:18:41,510 And now? 1111 01:18:41,885 --> 01:18:43,804 I think you can do even more. 1112 01:18:45,806 --> 01:18:48,183 I've gotta find a solution. 1113 01:18:49,142 --> 01:18:51,311 I'll break down the door. 1114 01:18:51,478 --> 01:18:53,480 He knows what he's doing. 1115 01:18:53,772 --> 01:18:55,023 He's doing nothing. 1116 01:18:55,232 --> 01:18:56,608 He knows that. 1117 01:19:01,446 --> 01:19:02,447 Mommy! 1118 01:19:07,786 --> 01:19:09,329 I can't, I can't! 1119 01:19:10,664 --> 01:19:12,207 Those red eyes, 1120 01:19:12,624 --> 01:19:14,167 that big tail... 1121 01:19:14,876 --> 01:19:16,336 Mommy, help me! 1122 01:19:19,214 --> 01:19:22,092 We're way too low. Return to your seats! 1123 01:19:24,052 --> 01:19:25,345 Fasten your seatbelts. 1124 01:19:25,512 --> 01:19:26,847 Fasten your seatbelts! 1125 01:19:27,139 --> 01:19:29,474 I can't. I'm gonna die. 1126 01:19:29,641 --> 01:19:30,934 Know what you're doing? 1127 01:19:31,101 --> 01:19:33,186 Sure! I have a red belt in yoga. 1128 01:19:33,437 --> 01:19:34,563 Beat it! 1129 01:19:48,660 --> 01:19:49,661 It wasn't me. 1130 01:19:57,461 --> 01:19:59,463 - What? - The autopilot is down. 1131 01:19:59,629 --> 01:20:01,047 - And? - There's no "and." 1132 01:20:01,798 --> 01:20:03,300 Move! 1133 01:20:07,721 --> 01:20:08,597 Jean-Claude? 1134 01:20:10,098 --> 01:20:12,893 No. I'm too old and I'm useless. 1135 01:20:13,310 --> 01:20:15,896 The autopilot is jammed, we'll crash. 1136 01:20:16,062 --> 01:20:18,190 Shoulda thought of that earlier. 1137 01:20:22,527 --> 01:20:23,528 I'm your man. 1138 01:20:23,737 --> 01:20:25,780 On 3, we pull. On 3... 1139 01:20:25,947 --> 01:20:28,074 1, 2, 3, go! 1140 01:20:30,994 --> 01:20:31,912 It's jammed! 1141 01:20:33,872 --> 01:20:35,373 Goddamn low cost!! 1142 01:20:40,670 --> 01:20:41,838 Okay, flap 15. 1143 01:20:42,589 --> 01:20:43,381 Flap 15, check. 1144 01:20:43,548 --> 01:20:45,592 Landing gear down, check. 1145 01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:47,636 Flap 30, check. 1146 01:20:47,802 --> 01:20:49,804 Landing... check! Careful! 1147 01:21:04,945 --> 01:21:08,490 No woman could move me like you do. 1148 01:21:08,823 --> 01:21:10,784 - Dagobert. - Nuance. 1149 01:21:11,368 --> 01:21:14,496 - Let's not stand on ceremony. - It's far too soon. 1150 01:21:15,372 --> 01:21:16,456 You know, Nuance... 1151 01:21:17,916 --> 01:21:20,418 If I had a wife, I'd want one like you. 1152 01:21:22,045 --> 01:21:23,296 You know, Jean-Claude, 1153 01:21:23,463 --> 01:21:25,632 If I had a dad, he'd be like you. 1154 01:21:26,341 --> 01:21:28,468 Excellent! Very funny! 1155 01:21:31,012 --> 01:21:32,430 - No hard feelings - On the contrary. 1156 01:21:32,681 --> 01:21:34,307 - Honestly? - The pleasure's mine. 1157 01:21:34,558 --> 01:21:35,267 Mine, too. 1158 01:21:46,361 --> 01:21:50,532 Second Captain Jean-Claude Bordier speaking. 1159 01:21:50,699 --> 01:21:54,327 Captain Ben Tira and co-pilot Maurice Blin, of SablA©-sur-Sarthe 1160 01:21:54,911 --> 01:21:58,832 are pleased to announce our arrival at Paris-Beauvais airport. 1161 01:22:26,359 --> 01:22:27,485 There we are. 1162 01:22:28,486 --> 01:22:30,113 Finally arrived. 1163 01:22:31,114 --> 01:22:32,324 I don't think so. 1164 01:22:35,869 --> 01:22:36,995 What do you mean? 1165 01:22:37,829 --> 01:22:39,122 We've landed, 1166 01:22:40,040 --> 01:22:41,374 but we haven't arrived. 1167 01:23:01,478 --> 01:23:02,354 Here. 1168 01:23:02,854 --> 01:23:04,189 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 1169 01:23:04,898 --> 01:23:09,110 The struggle goes on. We're off to South America. 1170 01:23:09,277 --> 01:23:12,238 I'll never forget, you showed me the way. 1171 01:23:12,405 --> 01:23:14,866 Don't mention it. Good luck, Gaetane. 1172 01:23:15,033 --> 01:23:17,619 That's Gaetane. Her, I'm leaving. 1173 01:23:17,786 --> 01:23:20,288 It was too passionate between us. 1174 01:23:21,956 --> 01:23:23,208 What'll you do there? 1175 01:23:23,375 --> 01:23:26,544 Fair development and ultra-violence. 1176 01:23:27,962 --> 01:23:29,547 Wanna team up? 1177 01:23:29,839 --> 01:23:31,174 What's your line? 1178 01:23:31,341 --> 01:23:32,926 Fair trade, 1179 01:23:33,593 --> 01:23:35,303 and so lucrative! 1180 01:23:35,679 --> 01:23:38,223 Tempting... Anyone else interested? 1181 01:23:40,266 --> 01:23:43,311 You might need a pilot. 1182 01:23:45,188 --> 01:23:46,356 Paris! 1183 01:23:50,694 --> 01:23:51,653 Great. 1184 01:23:56,408 --> 01:23:57,409 Great. 1185 01:24:03,415 --> 01:24:04,624 Well, I'm home. 1186 01:24:06,751 --> 01:24:07,711 What? 1187 01:24:22,100 --> 01:24:24,227 I always wondered why people 1188 01:24:24,394 --> 01:24:26,271 wear blankets at the end of movies. 1189 01:24:26,438 --> 01:24:29,315 After a shock, the body's fragile. 1190 01:24:29,858 --> 01:24:31,693 What we call in our jargon... 1191 01:24:31,985 --> 01:24:32,819 A chill. 1192 01:24:32,986 --> 01:24:34,612 Right. 1193 01:24:36,364 --> 01:24:38,158 It suits you. 1194 01:24:38,324 --> 01:24:39,826 Thanks. You, too. 1195 01:24:43,288 --> 01:24:44,706 I was thinking... 1196 01:24:45,498 --> 01:24:47,167 Why don't we work together? 1197 01:24:47,876 --> 01:24:50,170 I'd rather die than work in waffles. 1198 01:24:50,336 --> 01:24:53,965 Rather than spy, I learn to fly. 1199 01:24:54,132 --> 01:24:56,259 And you, rather than fly low cost, 1200 01:24:56,426 --> 01:24:57,802 fly with me. 1201 01:25:01,139 --> 01:25:02,724 Is that a declaration? 1202 01:25:02,891 --> 01:25:03,892 Not at all. 1203 01:25:04,058 --> 01:25:05,560 Yes, it is. 1204 01:25:05,769 --> 01:25:07,812 Not at all. It's a job offer. 1205 01:25:10,148 --> 01:25:11,065 Okay. 1206 01:25:30,710 --> 01:25:36,382 Welcome aboard Lobud Jet Airlines. 1207 01:25:45,850 --> 01:25:51,606 We offer the comfort of our own airline. 1208 01:25:52,232 --> 01:25:53,900 Reclining seats, 1209 01:25:54,067 --> 01:25:55,485 luggage holds, 1210 01:25:55,819 --> 01:25:57,987 drink holders. 1211 01:25:59,489 --> 01:26:04,285 A food service will be offered. 1212 01:26:04,661 --> 01:26:08,998 With Lobud Jet, leaving is a pleasure. 1213 01:26:25,181 --> 01:26:26,724 It's stifling in here. 1214 01:26:26,891 --> 01:26:28,726 I'm next to a jerk. 1215 01:26:30,270 --> 01:26:33,189 A champion jerk! 1216 01:26:47,078 --> 01:26:49,581 It's not by chance 1217 01:26:49,747 --> 01:26:52,750 that the KGB head was Lionel Ritchie. 1218 01:26:56,087 --> 01:26:57,797 Sears is a family. 1219 01:26:58,715 --> 01:27:00,049 Whereas JC Penny... 1220 01:27:01,134 --> 01:27:02,594 The girls are stuck-up. 1221 01:27:03,344 --> 01:27:06,139 "I'm a JC Penny model." 1222 01:27:06,472 --> 01:27:07,724 See what I mean? 1223 01:27:09,017 --> 01:27:10,018 I see. 1224 01:27:12,395 --> 01:27:14,522 You read Consumer Reports? 1225 01:27:14,689 --> 01:27:16,107 I get it every month. 1226 01:27:16,608 --> 01:27:17,525 It's interesting. 1227 01:27:17,942 --> 01:27:19,193 I'm afraid of lice. 1228 01:27:19,986 --> 01:27:21,321 Mom washed my head 1229 01:27:21,487 --> 01:27:22,989 with vinegar when I got them. 1230 01:27:24,073 --> 01:27:25,950 They're little and ugly. 1231 01:27:26,326 --> 01:27:30,079 I dreamt of pinching a louse 1232 01:27:30,246 --> 01:27:32,123 and pulling off its head. 1233 01:27:47,555 --> 01:27:49,641 He's really cute. 1234 01:27:50,350 --> 01:27:52,810 Grey, with a big hairy tail... 1235 01:27:53,186 --> 01:27:54,979 When he looks at you. 1236 01:27:55,146 --> 01:27:56,314 So cute. 1237 01:27:59,859 --> 01:28:00,777 A rat! 1238 01:28:01,402 --> 01:28:04,948 We'll exchange numbers. 1239 01:28:05,406 --> 01:28:07,992 - I have no phone. - I'll give you mine. 1240 01:28:08,159 --> 01:28:09,243 That's okay. 1241 01:28:10,370 --> 01:28:11,537 You know what? 1242 01:28:13,331 --> 01:28:15,708 You're the dullest man after the Pope. 1243 01:28:16,209 --> 01:28:18,336 Anyone see Gwen? 1244 01:28:20,088 --> 01:28:21,381 The tall guy... 1245 01:28:23,174 --> 01:28:25,343 Did someone die? 1246 01:28:26,928 --> 01:28:28,930 This is Captain Bordier. 1247 01:28:29,180 --> 01:28:33,184 We've just landed at JFK Int'I. 1248 01:28:34,102 --> 01:28:38,564 We hope to see you soon on Air France. 1249 01:28:39,774 --> 01:28:41,985 See you soon... 1250 01:28:58,459 --> 01:29:03,256 Subtitles: Cynthia Schoch & Lenny Borger 1251 01:29:03,423 --> 01:29:06,175 Subtitling: C.M.C. 1252 01:29:07,176 --> 01:29:12,176 Uploaded by pukeman oneddl.com