Louis! Louis! </ P>
Alright, let's start. Please, sit down. </ P>
Okay, yes, sit down, we just started. </ P>
There is no opening. Fuck. Let's start. </ P>
Let's start. </ P>
Sit in your chair. </ P>
Take a beer and everyone please, sit down. </ P >
Turn off the lights. Let's start.
Let's start the show.
It's no use making noise.
I will announce the thing you have heard. </ P>
Please turn off your cellphone. </ P>
You may take a picture but turn off the flash. </ P>
That's stupid, because it's not...
You know when you watch World Series and there are...
flash lights up Yankees Stadium. </ P>
Matikan lampu kilatnya.
Don't shout during the show. If you want to say to me...
This is the rule. We will write it
And go to the lobby
And then go home and kill yourself. </ P>
Because, it's selfish. </ P>
It's rhetorical appearance. </ P>
It has nothing to do with you. </ P >
Don't send messages or Twitter during the show. Live life. </ P>
Don't keep telling people what you're doing. </ P>
This is also because...
Because...
The mobile screen explains your stupid face. Really. </ P>
I see a beautiful sea of darkness and then there is one person. </ P>
So don't do it. </ P>
What else? There is no Jew, I think
mereka sudah mengatakan itu sebelumnya.
They say I have to say that.
Jews are not allowed.
If you are Jewish this is a good time to go.
If You see someone faced Jews please call an officer
And they will...
Sir, come on. Come on Come on. </ P>
Yes, let's start. </ P>
But, I'm very happy You're here. </ P>
This is a pretty big crowd. This is a big place.
There are around 2500 people here, and...
many people.
Pretty much to be sample population.
2500 people enough to say that you will all experience...
There are enough people on here to say that in.
Two months at least one of you will die.
I just said it. I think might be accurate to say. </ P>
That of every 2500 people. </ P>
Some of you don't live until Christmas, unfortunately. </ P>
There will be...
At least one of you are here tonight.
Will damage the family Christmas.
With a cruel death
And I don't know who it is, I'm sorry.
I don't know, no anyone knows...
Some people, they want you to do something when they die with...
"I want you to take my ashes and sprinkle..."
Fuck, I won't do that nonsense.
You are dead.
I will not carry out the task for your sake after you die.
You are not important anymore.
Some people try to do something noble with their bodies.
They try to make their bodies useful after they die,
What I think is an idea
You only borrow your body.
All are only loans.
If your body is beneficial after you use it.
You have to pass it on.
That's what I really believe.
I mean, I won't do it, because.
I I don't want... eew... this is mine. I don't want...
I have a lot of confidence
And I don't embrace anything.
That's how I am.
They're just my beliefs.
I just want to believe it.
I like that part.
They are my little beliefs. They make me proud of myself. </ P>
But if they deter me from the things I want. </ P>
Or I want to masturbate or something, I will do it anyway.
But...
But some people consider... My grandmother, uh, my grandmother.
He... uh, for ordinary people...
My grandmother,
He donated his body to medical school
for checked and disected,
That's a good idea.
But you know his family... his family...
That's human.
That's my grandmother. He used to wear glasses and say lots of things. </ P>
And now he's shaved bald on a metal table. </ P>
With a drunken medical student trying to dig the pancreas.
And he gets "F".
Imagine being a body where a student gets an "F" because of you.
It looks like the teacher, " No, idiot. "</ P>
And he wrote" F "on his breasts with a knife and. </ P>
Throwed it into over the stack of body" F ".
So, I don't care about him. Louis! Shut up, idiot. </ P>
Shut your mouth. </ P>
Didn't you hear me before? </ P>
Okay, so what should I do with the body I. I will die
And I have to tell people what to do with my body. </ P>
I have an idea of what to do with the body I
that will benefit the world.
No one has started yet.
Tapi saya akan memulainya, dimulai dengan tubuh saya.
That is, that is where where you can go
And with the corpse
And you can do whatever you want. </ p >
And...
The point is this
there are people out there
Who has sexual urges and they cannot control it
/ p>
so they go and they disturb the living person.
And with this you can exit the system.
This is an agreement. You enter in the room. No one. </ P>
You are given 90 minutes. Do whatever you want, whatever it is. </ P>
CHAPTER in my mouth. </ P>
You want...
Put my big toe in your vagina Piss on my face.
Whatever you have to do.
Whatever your heart desires.
I want to be Willy Wonka for perverts.
You can come to my back and pretend that I is your father.
I'm dead, I don't mind.
Sexual deviation is a problem.
You can't stop it. People have to </ p >
do what they have to do.
This country is quite distorted.
We have to masturbate for everything.
There is no sex and others. Sex is in everything.
You watch the news and a woman tells you,
"And in Libya..."
Yes, tell me about Libya. Tell me about Libya.
Say "Libya" again.
Come on, say on the TV screen, on my flatscreen.
Come on, say "Libya" again.
Maybe someone "In Libya..." or whatever.
Why does all become so sexual?
And music, every musician < br /> interesting.
Isn't that a strange coincidence.
That everyone who can play music looks interesting?
I think I'll there is one ugly man who is good at playing guitar.
But damn zero.
And there are teen pop idols who are children. </ p >
And on TV they do...
They are children
And "Folks" masturbate for them.
"Folks." < br /> Only "Folks" are masturbating.
Well, "folks" masturbates for girls on TV.
Some of them are really young. < br /> I don't know the name.
I have no knowledge anymore.
I'm too old.
When thinking about teen idols, I think of Britney Spears.
Because she's my age now.
That's how long.
She's stuck with me.
When I was 35, he was 18. And now we're both 44 years old.
So that's all I know about teen idol.
One day I thought,
What if there is a baby born
And there have been many babies messed up, all kinds of babies born .
There are babies with faces who attach
to dogs or whatever,
Babies with three legs,
With your hands attached. </ P>
There. </ P>
Chinese babies. </ P>
That's...
Okay, that's...
That's the worst thing I've ever said.
I think I finally said.
The worst thing I've ever said.
It's really terrible.
And it feels good.
It's nice to know the side of your soul.
There is comfort in knowing.
That I only say the worst thing
I have ever said for the rest of my life.
This is fun.
Alright.
I'm not a good person.
No.
I wish I was a man good.
I like the idea of being a good person.
Sometimes I have the opportunity to be.
Good people and then I didn't do it.
One time I was on a plane and I was up in the first class,
Because I was special.
I went up first class. Who cares? </ P>
That's how it is. </ P>
Saya tidak... saya tidak seperti Anda.
No. No.
Everything you do, I do a better version. </ P>
And...
At least this is only for < a year or more, believe me.
This won't last long.
I've done it about eight months. I have spent a year
and then I returned to be like you. </ P>
But for now, this is pretty good. </ P>
I'm in the classroom first and first class is much better.
Much better.
You get a bigger chair. You get food.
But also, you can sit first.
You can sit before other people.
They take you and you stay sit there with champagne
And watch a single mother who,
Sweats,
Sad, while carrying a stroller and child.
"Looks heavy and nobody helps you. Boring."
And you can just...
Anyway, I'm on a plane. I'm in the first class
And this soldier got on the plane.
I saw the army going up planes all the time.
Because that's how they get to the battlefield.
They fly using luxury airlines.
You think they go cool green planes with red lights.
"Go! Go! Go!"
No, they go to Delta.
And they are just. </ P>
Waiting in line to go to war. </ P>
And they are flying coaches. </ P>
I've never seen a soldier in First class.
He could be a colonel,
He is among two people fat.
And they are always good.
I have never seen a soldier going up
plane... "Hey, I in the Army."
"Fuck. I have a gun."
They always, "Oh, sir. Thank you very much, ma'am.
It feels like having extra flight attendants. They
help people put the items above. </ P>
They are awesome. </ P>
And every time I see soldiers on a plane, I always think,
You know what, I have to give my seat.
This is the right thing to do. Will.
It's easy to do and means a lot to him. </ P>
I can approach him, "Hey, kid." I called him, "Son." </ P>
"Hey, son , let's use my chair. "
Because I was in the first class, why, for being a professional bastard.
I was in the first class because I talked about babies with big dicks.
That's the reason I went up to the first class. </ P>
This person gave his life to the country, according to him, so he had to sit down...
But that was good enough. That's good enough,
The fact that he thinks so. </ P>
I'm serious. </ P>
Everyone in his life system tells. </ P>
That great thing to do that and he did it.
And it was scary but he did it.
And he sat on this annoying chair and I have to exchange with him.
I never did it. Let me confirm.
I never did it though.
I have so much opportunity.
I never even really, approached it.
And this is the worst part.
I still enjoy fantasy
for myself to enjoy it.
I'm really proud of myself
for having that thought.
I'm proud.
Ah, I sweet man.
I am so good.
Thinking about it and then really never did it.
At least you should be good to people...
Only by giving happy expressions
to the person you see in your life.
I didn't do it either. </ P>
Because when I entered the elevator in my building...
That was my first contact with humans after. </ P >
Being at home and dirty fun for hours.
Then I got out of the elevator and there was always a man both in the elevator.
And I hate that.
I was really angry when people say good things to me.
That's not a good encouragement.
I entered the elevator and always this person...
He sticking his face right in the head.
"Hi!" He floats it like a big balloon. </ P>
"Hey, how are you?" </ P>
I'm angry. </ P>
I get a strange urge to the point /> I want to orgasm on his face.
I don't know why that is,
But that's what I think.
I wish I could orgasm without a square,
Like defense squid or skunk.
Not sexually. I mean aggressive. </ P>
"Hi!" </ P>
"Astaga, bung."
"You orgasm in my eyes."
I just want to go downstairs. I don't want to talk.
Alright, this is a little outward rails. I don't remember what I want. </ P>
Say. </ P>
I want to be a better person. </ P>
I want it. </ P>
I want to be a better person.
And I think I'm becoming a personal worse.
Because when you get older you start to find out...
Let me give an example.
I rented a car a few last week, in Los Angeles.
I took the car for a few days
And then when I go home I have to put the car in the rental place.
You have to go to the rental far from the airport,
Give the car, the distance so far.
You have to take the bus and then go to the terminal and check in.
I'm late and I'm worried will miss my flight.
So I'm know I don't have time to do that.
So I... I've never done this before... I drove my car.
Right towards the terminal and leave it there. </ P>
Then I got on the plane. </ P>
After I got on the plane and had the moment I called Hertz and I said,
Hey, listen, your car is parked in front of terminal four.
"And the key is still hanging. That's where your car is." </ p >
And that person said, "You can't do that."
"You have to go back to the location and then deliver..."
Well, I didn't do it, and now I'm leaving California.
So if you want that car, you need to go to the terminal.
And he said, "Awww, that's right." </ P>
"Well, fine. We'll take it." </ P>
And he... That's the end of it all
And I realize I can do this every time,
Every time I rent a car.
Because of course they want to You do all that nonsense. </ P>
But if not, they still want the car back. </ P>
They will send people. </ P>
You can drive a car up to you don't want it.
Get out of the car while the car it moves and walks.
No, I don't feel like being in that car again.
Just call Hertz. Hi, your car hovers to junction 28 and Broadway,
If you're interested. Now that's your problem. </ P>
But look, this is terrible realization.
Because you have to act in a way.
That if everyone acts that way everything will work perfectly.
You have to do it, because it can be messed up if everyone is like that.
And most people don't care.
Most people are very selfish.
p> Most people don't care what happens.
As long as they can do their favorite things.
People don't even want to back down from things
They won't even do their second favorite thing.
You've seen someone in trouble,
Like they are at the intersection and they want to turn left,
But they are on the right side... on the right lane of the road.
Because
So, there is this person. He is in the right lane.
And there are lots of cars, like roads 6. Lots of cars.
And he wants to turn left.
So what does he do? He keeps doing it.
He just needs to do it.
</ P>
Through everyone's life. </ P>
Without...
And everyone sounds a horn and is angry
and you always see the person says,
"I have to do it. I have to do it."
"There is no other possibility."
"What else can I do, except forward one block
and then turn left and takes four seconds. "
" It's not my favorite path, even so! "
" That's just meet 99% of my criteria. "
But I'm selfish.
I want to be a better person, because I have children.
And I want to leave it to...
Sometimes it's not clear what the right thing to do.
One time I threw a candy wrapper on the way.
I didn't do it with, "Yes!"
I just...
Yes, accept the garbage, walk.
I did it because I was trembling. I want sweets.
Anyway, I'm with friends
Who said to me, "You throw garbage to. "
Road. Don't you care about in the environment?"
And I thought about it and I said, you know what, this is not & apos; Environment & apos;.
This is New York City.
This is not & apos; Environment & apos ;.
This is where people live.
New York City is not an environment. New York City is a giant garbage.
This is giant garbage , after Mexico City, the dirtiest garbage.
In the world.
Many wild cats, runny, smoky,
Smelly garbage.
p>
So if you have a piece of junk,
What do you have to do do with it?
You have to throw it on the garbage stack.
Because if not, if you put it in the trash container.
Then it will be collected and taken to disposal
And the garbage comes out and is dumped in the sea and.
Some dolphins wear it as a hat on his face.
For ten years, a hat the never dissolves, on his face.
Ugh.
Oh my God.
Everything we introduce.
In the world it sucks...
I mean white people. </ P>
Because...
I really think that people white people come from other planets.
Because when we come to America, America is very beautiful.
Only Indians.
And they are not even Indians. </ P>
We call him accidentally. </ P>
And we still call them that. </ P>
We know in a month that they are not Indians.
But we don't care.
We never fix it.
We come here. They say, "Hi."
And we say, "Hey, you Indian, right? "
And they said," No. "
" No, this is India, right? "
" No, no. This is another place. "
" You are not Indian? "
" No. "
" Ahh, you are Indian. "
"You will be Indian for hundreds of years the following year."
We destroyed everything here. It used to be...
Only the coast green, brown and beautiful.
And all humans walk around.
With painted faces, walk around.
And they say, "Oh, this looks delicious."
And they eat from the ground.
And then they sleep on the grass.
And they wake up and they make love.
And then they go swimming and do a little dance.
That's the activity on all continents, <
people just do that.
I mean there are people in Mexico cut off the heads of children
And rolled it on stairs pyramid.
But that...
I mean...
That always happens.
You know...
You can't do many things about it.
But I think we came from another planet
And the reason is we don't like it here.
Why, if we come from here,
If we are inhabitants of the Earth,
Why are we uncomfortable.
On Earth, at all?
And a nice angle and we need it to stay cool
And it's not too hot, just a little dit-dit perfect.
Why not, when it's hot , why don't we...
"Yes, fuck it."
Why aren't we so if we are natives here?
And that's weird because people who are...
You know, there are environmental lovers
And there are people who environmental haters.
Angry people to environmentalists.
Because they think they slow down the economy
and create restrictions and many of these people are Christians.
Many of these people devout Christians
And that's confusing to me,
That if you believe Allah entrusts the earth,
That God created the earth for you,
Why don't you look after it?
Why...
Why don't you think that when he returns he won't say,
"What the hell are you doing?"
"I gave this to you, bastard. Are you crazy?"
"Brown polar bear."
"What did you do to the polar bear?"
"Did you BAB on each polar bear?"
"Who are you... who did this? Who
spilled this nonsense? Who spilled this?"
"Come here. Are you spilling this? What is that?"
"It's oil. It's just oil. I don't mean to shed..."
"So why did you take it out of the ground?"
"Because I want to travel faster."
"I'm not fast enough."
"And I'm cold."
"What do you mean, & apos; cold & apos;? "
" I gave everything you needed, dirt base. "
" Well, because of work, and I want to... "<
"What is work? Explain to me, what is work?"
"Well, you work somewhere and people call. </ p >
When their game doesn't work and you help them find out. "
" What did you do that for? "
" For money. "
"What do you need money for?"
"Eat."
"Eat plants."
"I leave a lot plants on the ground. "
"Corn and wheat and more. Just do it, make bread. What are you doing?"
"Yeah, but it doesn't have, the meat around it."
"And like... I like it when there is meat on it."
I saw someone do it one day after.
Eating them said, "Oh, that..."
And I began to wonder, what does mean? What does this mean? </ P>
I think the meaning is that you eat something so delicious
Which you then kiss someone on the butt
And his butt explodes. </ P>
That's good food. </ P>
Nice sauce. </ P>
"Is that good?" </ P>
"Yes , let me show you. "
" Damn. Let me taste a little. "
It destroys my anus.
Anyway, I have kids and.
That's what I want to say.
Having children is difficult because it's boring.
That's the hardest part of having children.
Ask any old , what's the most
difficult? Do keep their health? </ P>
Do ensure that their education...
No, is with them on the floor. </ P>
When they become children. </ P>
This is just...
They read Clifford si Big Red Dog to you. </ P>
At level 50 per-page minutes.
And you have to sit there
And be proud and bored.
At the same time.
I hate Clifford the Big Red Dog. </ P>
I hate him. </ P>
Ada 50 buku tentang Clifford si Anjing Merah Besar.
Fifty books.
There are seven books about Narnia
Which include births and the death of a nation
And rats use swords
p>
And a lion that is a god.
They do it in seven books.
Fifty books about Clifford the Big Red Dog,
And everything tells the exact same story.
Look at how big this dog is.
That's all.
Look at how big this dog is.
It's in the whole book.
This is how he was when he was at the fire station.
This is how he was at Thanksgiving. </ p >
Who cares? You only draw it bigger.
Supposedly, "Look how big I draw dogs in this book."
"Isn't that a mistake?"
There are no stories at all.
You might even just draw it closer to the page.
I don't even know whether you do it honestly.
Tell a story about Clifford. </ P>
Something must happen, where is maybe he stepped on the police
and destroyed his bones and destroyed the community. </ P>
He survived for two months and then die.
And there is a whole, you know,
Funeral with bagpipes and everyone crying.
And Clifford gets a death sentence. </ P>
There is a book about the appeal process and how. </ P>
He found Jesus but everyone said it was nonsense.
The police wife shouted, "I want the dog to die!"
And then he sat in the chair and they
shaved all the feathers /> red and now he is
being Clifford the Big Pink Dog.
Put him in the big cute electric chair that was built by all the residents of the city.
Having a child is boring. You have to play child games.
You have to play board games, little boy board games where you...
And then you do the dit-dit. </ P>
You can get six, honey. </ P>
One. </ P>
Two. </ P>
Three .
Here. Put it right here. This...
Daddy, I'm studying. </ P>
I know. You will grow stupid because. </ P>
Aku bosan. Aku tidak bisa menerimanya, sayang. Aku tidak bisa.
I can't watch it.
I'm bored more than I love you. I can't. I just...
Come on. </ P>
My girls are six and nine years now. </ P>
Actually it's an interesting age because.
They learn do some cool things.
I play Monopoly with my children . Really fun. </ P>
My nine-year-old son, he really can play Monopoly. </ P>
Six years old actually knows rules of the game
But the emotional yet is quite developed.
To handle losses which is inevitable.
In each match Monopoly.
Because, Monopoly losses are bleak.
Weight.
Unlike when you lose at Candyland.
Oh, you're stuck in fudgey, honey. Alright. </ P>
You are twirly-ohs that are gummy and you can't win. </ P>
But when he lost in Monopoly, I had to see his little face and said,
Okay, honey, here's what is happening now, okay?
All your properties, everything you have,
All your railroad lines, your home,
All your money,
Is mine now.
Give it to me.
No, give it to me. Right. </ P>
No, no, you can't play again, look, because. </ P>
Even though you gave me everything. </ P>
That's not even can pay off your debt.
It doesn't even touch it, honey.
You are very bankrupt. This is really bad.
Everything you've done all day,
I'll take it now
And I'll use it to destroy your brother.
I mean, I will ruin it.
For him there's only chaos on the board now.
If you have children, you also have to.
Adapting to the parent-child culture.
You must know parents and other children.
You have to get along with other kids.
Sometimes you even don't know them.
When I go to the park with kids, I play with them.
I play with my children.
Some people don't do that.
They only bring their children to park
so they don't need to talk to them,
And those kind of kids want to join our game.
I'll sit in the park and play with my children
Dan there's this woman on the bench. She's holding the phone
And she's just staring at her phone.
And her children say, "Mommy, talk to me. "
" Leave me alone. I'm trying to cheat your father! Stop! "
And then the boy comes to us, " Can I join the family You? "</ P>
Creepy. </ P>
One time I was in a swimming pool with children, a public swimming pool. </ P>
My child, who is six years old, hanging on my arm like this.
He is hanging, and he is kicking. That was very fun. </ P>
Dan kemudian dia terlepas dan anak lain bergantungan.
Like a mouse. Let me go. </ P>
"But I love you." </ P>
I don't know you, kid. Stop. </ P>
I think the child is dead. I don't know what happened. </ P>
Some kids are in my child's class, I like some of them. </ P>
Some of them are cool kids. They come to.
My house and they play with... I like them.
Other kids I don't like,
Especially boys.
Boys in my child's class, I hate them. I hate boys. </ P>
Looks like I'm the opposite of pedophiles. I hate...
There is one child in my daughter's class that's me hate,
And it's really messed up because I is 44
And I hate six-year-olds.
I mean, I hate him .
With adult hatred.
I thought about him three times since I came here.
I really hate this child. </ p >
I will tell you about him and me
must make a pseudonym because he is a real child
Who lives in this city, so I must.
Make a name for tell the story about him.
Just name it, Jezanthepuss.
Let's call him Jezanthepuss. Jezanthepuss . Good. </ P>
Okay. </ P>
She's in my daughter's class. They're in first grade. </ P>
When we take children to class, There is a small procedure.
You take your child to school and they bring their backpacks and jackets
And they go to the cubby and bring all of them and
they put it in in the cubby.
Then they take the folder homework and lunchbox
and throw it in the trash.
That is their small responsibility.
You help them do it so they are, blah blah blah.
But, Jezanthepuss...
When he came, he didn't do any of that nonsense.
He just came in and let go of everything.
And his mother, he was weak, mother of a jerk.
Picked everything up.
I hate
Because you hate parents who are weak, when you become a parent.
Because you raised Hitler, bastard. Do your work! </ P>
Get in there. </ P>
If the parent group and class are a platoon of soldiers,
He is one of the people who we will put soap in socks and...
We will frag the bitch when he sleeps.
He will wash it tomorrow.
He won't succeed.
When Jezanthepuss puts his things down,
p>
This bitch took it.
He just said,
"He just... I'll take..."
"I will take it... "
" And then I'll put it in the trash for him. "
And he put it all for his son, who freed
He punched the other children.
Because he was an annoying child, horrible, and full of violence.
One time I was at school,
And I take a break.
That's what you do, you know,
If you are a good parent,
Once a month or whatever.
And you stand there and watch at rest.
You masturbate, whatever you want to do.
That's the worst thing. That is the worst thing. </ P>
Now that's the worst thing I've ever said. Ok Okay. </ P>
We will find it. </ P>
I mean you can. This is a public school no one cares. </ P>
But, I haven't done it so far. It's not that bad yet. </ P>
Anyway, I watch the break and rest is a trip.
If you have never taken a break,
It's intense because like the universe.
You know if you watching the sea,
Waves on the beach for a long time,
You begin to feel like you are understanding how things work.
That is resting, because any chaotic natural energy.
Represented at rest.
There are children circling.
There is one child spazzing with several children.
There is a binary system where two children hold hands
And they walk and clotheslining every child from a certain height.
They maintain uniform height in playground.
So I watch a break
And I see Jezanthepuss.
And he walks with this crime...
Son this is like crime who is stuck in time.
He's like...
I always imagine him in a coat gray fur with bones in it, <
And lots of rings from the people he killed, and walked.
And then I saw my daughter and she stood there, alone.
And there's Jezanthepuss and I know he will approach him.
It's like a thriller action film.
And I thought, I have to go there and protect it.
But then I thought, let him do it first.
Let him do something,
Because I want a child this in my life.
I want a reason.
I want an aerial photo of him persecuting my family
What I can bring to the UN
To be authorized to board this little bastard.
I want to...
I want to bring him with a flight to Venezuela. </ P>
With an envelope on the head and duct tape and all that nonsense. </ P>
So, however, he approached him, grabbed his arm, started playing it.
He said, "Ahhh!"
I walk. I knocked on the kids. </ P>
I ran, grabbed him. </ P>
I looked at his little face and said,
Listen to me, Jezanthepuss. </ P>
If you have,
Ever, in your life,
Touch it again...
And when I do this I realize. </ p >
This isn't cool.
This is really inappropriate.
This is completely wrong.
This is outrageous.
Too mature.
As if he was a drug dealer in my building that I ended up...
"It's over now, bastard or me will cut you. I don't care. "
And he...
He starts crying with sad.
And I just, I < br /> really doing this,
I walked away from him. I left.
And then all the teachers... Everyone gathered.
Jezanthepuss, what's wrong?
And he said...
And he can't articulate it. </ P>
Because he doesn't get education. </ P>
Fuck him. </ P>
I'm there, Yes, you can just complain about me bitch,
But you are too stupid now,
Which is your own fault,
You will become dirt in the future.
Oh, I would love to watch you grow not to be anything, bastard.
I will watch it.
I will make love to your mother and don't call him again.
I will ruin his summer.
I will make love to your mother twice and then never call her.
I don't know your father because he ran away from you, but I will find him.
I will change myself to be gay and I will make love to him.
I will make love... I will suck his penis
until he has to change his whole life.
And I will move to somewhere with him in.
Village for several months and him...
Really going to break the relationship with all his life </ p >
And start wearing pants that are really tight.
And he will...
And then I'll go to the place change -You-aren't-gay. </ P>
And then I'll come back and say, "What's wrong with you gay?" </ P>
For him to feel bad, for what has been done.
Tapi kau harus melindungi anak-anak Anda, Anda tahu. Harus.
You must protect your children.
You have to do it, man.
Many people will talk.
Many people say bullshit. "I
will throw myself onto the bus for the child..."
Oh, yes, are you going to fuck the father of another child,
And confuse him sexually, and yourself during the process,
And use the homophobia that you hate, towards others,
Only because some children push your child for a second?
That's my daughter. I have to do it, son. </ P>
I have to suck dick. That's a child
my woman. I have to do it for him. </ P>
Alright. </ P>
Alright, I hate that child. That's my point.
I think of my memories because I have children now.
And my children are at the age.
Where do I remember when was still the same age
I remember when I was six years old.
I remember when I was nine years old.
And that was a big threshold that children I've crossed,
Until I remember their age.
Because when you raise kids, you don't raise a child in front of you.
You are raising an adult in the future.
And I'm still very young.
When they're still babies, I'm not really
connect with them because they are babies.
A baby won't remember what
What happened to something.
If you have a baby, keep live and enjoy yourself.
But right, babies don't... No problem.
A baby doesn't remember anything.
Like Etch A Sketch do you shake every day.
Not really... No problem.
You look at your baby's face every day and say,
"Fuck, baby." every day and that doesn't matter.
Hey, baby!
You can do that every day and that doesn't matter.
I mean, they will grow up with deep sadness. </ P>
But they won't...
They won't really remember why.
And those memories are strange because memories are distorted by you now
And who you are when you experience it.
I remember when I was first start doing stand-up.
I live in Boston and there is one club owned by a gay man.
And my memory is that that person always tries to fuck me.
That's my memory. </ P>
I took it for 20 years. </ P>
There is a gay man who tried screwing me all the time. </ P>
And recently this I'm stuck with an old friend from
those days, that I haven't met for years.
And we started talking about people and he brought up gay men.
And I said, "That person always tried to fuck me."
And he said, "Really?"
And I said, "Yes."
And he said, "Really? Is he..."
"I mean, he wants take you to his house or
something and really physically trying to... "
" No, it's just that, you know what I mean.
He tried making love with me all the time. "</ P>
And he said," Well what did he say... Did he encourage you... "
And say those things all the time and make you uncomfortable? "
No, that's...
And after we go through it,
The real story, there is a gay man.
That's all.
That's what really happened.
p>
He's gay.
I'm 19.
And now, "He tried making love to me all the time."
I went through life with it. </ P>
How far do I remember memories?
And I remember my first memory.
I was four years old.
I stood at < br /> in front of the parent's house & apos;
And I defecate in my pants.
I defecate heavily,
Dirt that is very painful. p>
And I'm halfway through that shit.
That is my first memory , halfway...
half-first shit, < br /> I don't remember that.
Still in baby ether.
This crap center is so broad.
That I really came online as a result.
The anal pain that I experienced.
This woke me up. Yee-aahhh...
To the stream awareness that I am now alive.
That's how my life began. That's me.
Many memories I don't like.
I don't like... Adolescence, I hate that time.
I hate being a teenager, </ p >
And then I found a cure.
And then that's all I care about.
I don't know how I will tell my children.
How do you compete with that.
How do you accept miserable people without control over their lives
And tell them with a straight face,
Uh, you can't treat.
You can't do that, honey.
All drugs, are perfect solutions for every problem you have now.
How do you beat that?
The medicine is so good.
To the extent that they destroy your life.
As good as that's medicine.
I can't treat anymore because I'm 44
And I can't be jazzed. I can't make that happen.
If you are old 44 and you want to be jazzed, you have to hurt your back. </ P>
That's the only choice you have. </ P>
Back pain, or drinking Percoset.
And then rent the caregiver and drink three at the restaurant.
Sad.
I'm a little sleepy, woooo!
I ever really can... I hope I'm drunk.
I like romantic ideas being drunk,
With a shower all day. </ p >
Everyone who loves me always cries. "He"
destroys itself. I can't watch anymore. "</ P>
Shut up then. </ P>
Muncul di sekolah anak-anak ikut bermain.
"Show who you are, darling."
I hope I can be that person.
But I can't drink because I'm tired.
I go to sleep.
I don't know how people drink and then do a lot of things.
When looking at movies or TV shows where are there office person.
Having a meeting and there clinking Clink...
They drink on during the day with their tie.
" Well, Senator, I hope you play football with us
in this construction agreement, if you know what I'm saying. "</ P>
" Yes, we'll see what is given to me. "
How about the next scene not everyone
lying on the floor said," Oh, fuck ".
"I can't believe I drank whiskey during the day."
I can't smoke marijuana because... It's the same. I am too old for that. </ P>
Sometimes young people come to me after the show. </ P>
"Hey, do you want to hang out." </ P>
I said, Can I get a portion
I smoke smoking alone, then, because. </ P>
I don't want to stand in the parking lot with my 20s.
The last time I blitzed I was in Kansas City.
And I was jazed because I in Kansas City. That sucks. </ P>
So after the show,
The kids who worked at the club said, "Do you want to smoke hug?" </ P>
I answer, "Yes."
So, I stood in the parking lot with these children,
About 20 years old, and we co-operate together.
And I suck too much because I don't know.
I don't know they modified this blank
talk like this is a cancer drug.
I don't understand damn technology which makes marijuana so strong.
Because when I was little you could hang out together for a while.
Now you suck twice and you're crazy.
This can't be done anymore.
And I suction too much , like hits 1970 ,
Jeans Jackets, hit Bad Company.
Here comes Jesters, one, two, three.
These are all parts of my fantasy.
And I said, "Yes".
And even a child with a hole
wood without ears.
Absence of meat at ears, with wood.
I don't know what that is.
Even he said,
"You have to be careful. That's too much . That's very strong marijuana."
Yes, I'm fine
"Walk with the devil."
And in ten seconds, everything...
And I said, "Oh, damn. "
This is a trial now.
I won't feel okay for a very long time.
And everyone just stands up and talk.
And I hope,
I really hope,
That I look like this.
But I pretty sure.
That I only scan insanely.
I really counted.
Look at him for five...
Four...
Three...
Two...
One. Switch to it. </ P>
Five...
Four...
Three...
Two. Scramble. Don't look in the same direction. </ P>
Five...
Four...
Three. Nod your head. Look like you
listen if you nod your head. </ P>
And at one point I realized, I have to get out of here
Because the air hit my arm with an odd number and they know.
They really know.
That I don't handle the air that touches my arm now.
Why did I do that with my hand. That's strange.
There's nothing standing like this. Nothing stand like this.
Damn... No, that's also...
That's weird too. That's crazy. </ P>
Damn. </ P>
Aku harus pergi.
But I don't know how to go , because I have a dilemma.
We all stand on perfect circles, facing each other.
Dan I thought would be crazy if I flipped...
I am the one person turning around now.
What if I retreat like this
And hope they fill up?
And then I think, no, say something.
Say something hard to them which smoothes the transition when You go. </ P>
Okay, what should I say? Choose sentence. Goodbye. </ P>
It's a nightmare. That's...
Goodbye? </ P>
That's not even... it's just sound. </ P>
Finally I walked away and I said, "I'm leaving!" </ P>
Saya tahu itu buruk.
Because they all said, "Whoa. Damn. Okay. All right. Whoa."
I will never see those again for life.
And then I got in the car. I forgot that I rented a car
And I have to drive back to the hotel.
And I drive on the road raya Missouri.
And at one point I realized,
I thought it was around 25 minutes.
Because I looked out the front window mobil.
I just dealt with bullshit directly in...
Oh, damn it.
There is a spectrum of responsibilities here.
I should have taken part in this.
Then at one point I remember I was on the drive thru,
Dan saya takut.
Because there is a woman putting her head out the window.
And she's crazy. He said, "Sir!" </ P>
"Sirrr!" </ P>
I kept saying, I don't know. I don't know. </ P>
I don't know! </ P>
I closed the window. I don't know. </ P>
Which part of the transaction am I... ?
Have I paid? Did I order?
Am I sitting here for 40 minutes eating.
On window, and I eat paper and more?
"Sirrr!"
And I said, I don't know! I don't want that! </ P>
And I shot. </ P>
So I can't do that anymore. </ P>
But you are aging and there are some things that can't be done anymore.
Some things that don't want to do again.
This is a nice change.
You feel some desires go away.
New things make you happy.
But some things don't change and some things that make me sick.
Like thoughts.
Thoughts
sexual, constant.
I'm very tired of that.
Mind...
Fuck.
That makes me an idiot.
I masturbate for stupid people. <
"Look at my breasts."
Yes, your breasts are awesome.
This is the stupid part of life that makes me sick.
It happens every day too. </ P>
As if... You can't have one day. </ P>
I just want to be the person who walks in the shop and....
I just want to go to the library and ask...
Hi, ma'am, is there... I looking for a book about
Abraham Lincoln, like when he...
I wish I can wrap your hair around my cock and...
Oh, damn it.
I tried talking to him!
This is really a man's problem man.
This is really a problem male, unable
controlling impulse sexually constant.
Woman trying to compete.
"Well, I'm obscene. You don't know."
"I have a sexual experience that really hurts."
No, you don't know. </ P>
You don't know. </ P>
Look, you can have those thoughts. </ P>
I have to have thoughts that.
You are a tourist on sexual abuse.
I am a prisoner there.
You are Jane Fonda in a tank.
I'm John McCain in the hut.
It's a nightmare.
I can't lift my arms.
p>
And for men, sex is a constant thing.
Even it's not sex for us. It's just a vagina.
That's how we call it.
Vagina... no its relationship with women.
It's not about girls or girls like in the 50s.
There is no man in the world saying,
"Let's meet some girls and kiss
they are in the mouth and see what happened. "
Nothing.
" Mmmm, I'm sure I want to have my arms around a girl. "
" Mmmm, Vanessa, I like... "
No, no. </ P>
Only. </ P>
Vagina. </ P>
Even it's not a vagina.
It's not a human vagina.
Only a vagina.
Like a big pink balloon letter on the front of our face all the time.
For men it's only the element of the universe,
As if it should be on the element chart.
Next to lead and ammonia.
Py with the atomic weight of 12 or any atomic weight of the vagina.
The sad thing is all of our obsessions about
sex and how much < br /> we like it,
We suck.
Awful men in sex.
Even we don't try to get better. </ p >
Women make great sex.
Women are a good part of sex.
They accept dick with grace
And they turn it into art.
Or they climb and they go up.
They go up.
Men don't. We just go up. </ P>
I put my cock in you. </ P>
Enter it. </ P>
Shove inside. </ P>
Shit. </ P >
Have you made love when you were fat?
You say "Ugh, damn. This..."
My stomach muscles aren't strong.
We are very bad at sex
And then we wonder why
women aren't really aggressive in sex. </ P>
We think it's because they don't have a lot of desires like us. </ P>
That's how stupid a man is. </ P>
We think they're weird. </ P>
in the head,
because they don't want to make love all the time. "
" If I'm a woman, I will make love to everyone. "
"Why don't they want to make love all the time? I want to."
Of course yes, because when you make love,
You make love to a woman.
When she makes love, she makes love to a man.
A different wild experience.
For a man, 100% of the time he fucks a woman
is the best thing that has ever happened in his whole life. </ P>
For a woman, around 40% from the time he
made love to a man he thought,
"I will get more than this in a week. This is not the worst thing."
"I won't cry this time."
Another thing that proves how a bad guy in sex is.
After having sex you two very different people.
Men just want to lie down and be cold and women want to hug.
This is how men like making fun of women.
"They always want to be hugged . Too spoiled. "
" I've screwed you. Let me watch the match. "
" I'm really cool. "
"What are you thinking?"
"Shut up. Leave me alone."
"Why is he so spoiled?"
He's not spoiled, idiot
She's horny, because you didn't do anything for her.
You don't do anything.
Her vagina is excited. </ p >
Because you didn't fuck her well.
Of course you are satisfied, because you go up and go...
And then roll over.
And he spoiled you because he said,
"What... something else has to happen!"
"It's bullshit!"
If you screw a woman well he will leave you alone.
"Thank you very much, friend."
Thank you very much, friend. I hope you enjoy the show.
You're great. Thank you very much. </ P>
Selamat malam.