0 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:10,000 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 2 00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:32,866 MAN 1: One contest.... MAN 2: Jon, one song.... 3 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,617 MAN 1: Trust me. MAN 3: Hit the fucking brakes. 4 00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:37,037 JON: This place looks sweet. KYLE: I'll get the boards. 5 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,955 ERIK: That's my boy. KYLE: Yeah, fuck you. 6 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,708 JON: Hey. Who is this guy? SHANE: Some freak from Santa Clara. 7 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,793 -Don't worry about him. ERIK: Who gives a fuck? 8 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,379 JON: No, I'm not worried about it, I'm just saying. 9 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:49,466 KYLE: Listen, man, this is fucking America, man, not fucking Zimbabwe. 10 00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:51,468 ERIK: Zimbabwe? Yo, fucking Caribbean, bitch. 11 00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:54,054 How many times I gotta remind you? Kiss my ass. 12 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,972 Yo, leave this motherfucker here, man. 13 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,808 I'll drive Miss Daisy, I'll drive your ass home, bitch. 14 00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:00,769 Drive this surfboard right up your.... 15 00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,854 JON: Let's go. KYLE: We're breaking in! 16 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,773 JON: Hey. Keep it down. ERIK: Shut up! 17 00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:06,483 -Shut up! SHANE: Why, are you scared? 18 00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:07,859 JON: Yeah. Yeah, I'm scared. 19 00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:11,279 -Don't drop my board or I'll cut your throat. KYLE: Take this, Aryan bitch. 20 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:15,617 ERIK: I don't know where you found this swastika-waving wannabe-skinhead. 21 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,744 -Get the fuck away from me. JON: Fucking psycho. 22 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,829 [KYLE LAUGHING] 23 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:53,530 [SURFERS LAUGHING] 24 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,915 SHANE: Wait till you see the reaction on his face. 25 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,542 KYLE: Yo, it's corn-fed, fucking.... 26 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:08,586 What the fuck are you doing on my beach? 27 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:11,256 ERIK: What you say, fussy? You're too red-eyed. 28 00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:15,552 You don't run this thing. You run your pussy-whore blood-clot. 29 00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,679 [SURFERS LAUGHING] 30 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,889 He says that you don't own the ocean. 31 00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:21,975 Is that a fact? 32 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,893 Let me tell you something. 33 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:27,230 I own every drop of water between here and the lighthouse... 34 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,691 ...as well as the sand and everything on it. 35 00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:33,987 Which I guess now includes you. 36 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:38,408 [LAUGHING] 37 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,618 KYLE: Hey, you know what? Fuck that. 38 00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:43,037 Why don't you just blow me, you old fuck? 39 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:47,584 Hey. Take it easy, man. We're done here, anyway. 40 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:51,921 Uh-uh. We're just getting started. 41 00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:54,174 -Jesus. -We jumped your gate, it's not like... 42 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:56,050 ...we went for a swim in your pool. 43 00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:59,679 -We'd never go into anyone's house. -Unless we were invited. 44 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,397 [SCREECHING] 45 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,705 Hey. 46 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,707 Make sure you take the head. 47 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,345 Yo. Suck my dick, bitch. 48 00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:42,805 Hey, Shane. Check this out. 49 00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:46,309 Ow. Fucking.... 50 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,896 I think I hit the spine. 51 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:53,858 Oh, you son of a bitch. 52 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,777 You fucking.... 53 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,654 Clear the shot. 54 00:03:58,112 --> 00:04:00,907 There you go. You ain't talking shit now, you bitch. 55 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:52,268 [AIRBOURNE'S "TOO MUCH, TOO YOUNG, TOO FAST" PLAYS ON CAR STEREO] 56 00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:07,867 [MUSIC STOPS] 57 00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:17,293 Not bad, right? 58 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:22,882 Not bad, not bad. 59 00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:26,803 Not bad at all. 60 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,764 Right, little sister? 61 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:35,937 Thank you. 62 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:39,440 -Told you this was gonna work out. -Yeah? Then where's the sun? 63 00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,484 The sun's overrated. 64 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,319 Gives you wrinkles. 65 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:44,654 -Chris. -Come on. 66 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:45,947 Get out. 67 00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:49,534 CHRIS: Be nice. NICOLE: I'm always nice. 68 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,661 You're the one with the temper. 69 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,871 Now, see? That wasn't nice. 70 00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:55,164 [NICOLE LAUGHS] 71 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,083 NICOLE: You're such an ass. CHRIS: Yup. 72 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,251 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 73 00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,502 WOMAN: Coming. 74 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,798 -Oh, my goodness, look at you. -Hi. Hey, Aunt Jillian. 75 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,217 I wasn't expecting you for ages, you're so early. 76 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,177 We didn't know how long it would take. 77 00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:10,346 The last time I saw you, you were this high. 78 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,181 -I drank my milk. -Come here. 79 00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:14,517 You drank your milk, you silly.... 80 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,729 And Nicole, come here. Come here. 81 00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:20,273 Let me look at you. 82 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,733 You're so beautiful. You-- 83 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,069 You look so much like your mom. 84 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:28,531 -It's totally blowing my mind. NICOLE: Thanks. 85 00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:32,243 I'm sorry. 86 00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:35,538 I'm so sorry that I didn't-- 87 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,582 -That's okay, Aunt Jillian. -Didn't know-- 88 00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:38,875 NICOLE: Aunt Jillian. 89 00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:40,960 -Thank you. -Look at me. 90 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:44,380 Let's get you guys situated. 91 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,592 So this is what we call in the business "a diamond in the rough." 92 00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:53,055 It's got great bones, but it could use a little sprucing up. 93 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,016 There we go. 94 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:58,060 So there's the kitchen over there and some storage over there. 95 00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:01,230 Sleeping space here, living-- Come this way. 96 00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:02,607 Half-bath through there... 97 00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:06,527 ...and it creates a very nice rustic-y charm, feng-shui-type flow... 98 00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:08,779 ...that leads us straight out to-- Come on. 99 00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:11,199 --this out to here. 100 00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,409 There we go. Ta-da! 101 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:14,994 Beautiful. 102 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,954 Just watch that step there. 103 00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:19,248 So lots of fresh air-- 104 00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:21,250 Scat. Scat. 105 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:23,252 Just ignore the old guy. 106 00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:26,255 I was thinking 650 a month, how does that sound? 107 00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:27,423 Six-fifty? 108 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:31,260 I know, I know. I could be getting at least 800, but what am I gonna do? 109 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:33,429 Charge you guys full price? You're family. 110 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,599 Well, it sounds good. 111 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:40,311 It is so great having you both here. 112 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:46,108 Here's the keys. Remember, Jillian with a J. 113 00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:55,952 NICOLE: I thought she was gonna let us stay here for free. 114 00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,788 CHRIS: Well, yeah. So did I. 115 00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:02,875 NICOLE: Does this even work? CHRIS: Yeah. I'm sure it's fine. 116 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:06,254 -Plug it in, dust it off. -It doesn't work. 117 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,215 Hey, Nicole. Check this out. 118 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,925 [BOTH LAUGHING] 119 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,802 Oh, my God. 120 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:17,265 We're gonna put this up right now. These have got to go up. 121 00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:19,475 It's a safety hazard. 122 00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:22,812 CHRIS: Right there on that nail, right there. -Oh, oh, wait. There? 123 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,983 Now this place has everything. 124 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,736 Chris, where are we gonna sleep? 125 00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:34,240 No, no, no. There's a bedroom back here, and we have that futon. 126 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,326 Maybe we can pick up another futon, used, for right over there. 127 00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:40,788 -A futon? A used futon? -Yeah. 128 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,331 Great. Yeah. 129 00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:45,459 You know, I bet this is just like college, only not cool. 130 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:47,920 You know what? 131 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,590 Maybe we'll get out of here for a little bit, okay? 132 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,550 We can unpack later. Let's go. 133 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:53,759 NICOLE: Okay. 134 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,355 It's right here. 135 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,672 Hey, you wouldn't happen to have the time? 136 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,800 Um.... Uh.... 137 00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:37,386 You're actually wearing a watch, so.... 138 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:38,929 Yeah. 139 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:41,223 Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's broken, you know. 140 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:42,975 Oh. Uh-huh. 141 00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:44,977 You're Chris Emerson, right? 142 00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,937 Yeah, yeah. What's your name, man? 143 00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,147 -Alex. -Hey. 144 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,733 Dude, it's too bad you got kicked off the circuit. 145 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:54,320 You were the most amazing surfer since Slater, since Powers, man. 146 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,657 -You totally screwed that guy up. -Thanks dude, I appreciate that. 147 00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,742 So, what are you doing here alone? 148 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,952 That sounded kind of creepy, didn't it? 149 00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:03,871 Yeah, a little. 150 00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:05,581 I'm here with my brother. 151 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,584 Reason I asked is because it's not that safe around here... 152 00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,711 ...for girls to be alone, you know? 153 00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:15,591 -Creepy, once again. Sorry. -Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. 154 00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:19,637 Just, for whatever reason, this town manages to attract... 155 00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:22,556 ...a lot of freaks and weirdoes. 156 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,184 Not that I'm a freak or a weirdo. 157 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,397 I'm just gonna stop talking, okay? 158 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,565 Okay. 159 00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:35,069 Wanna check something real? Check out the Frog Brothers' shop. 160 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,238 I'm looking for some work. 161 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,448 I got the place pretty much handled. 162 00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:40,783 Yeah, I know. I can tell. 163 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:43,786 You seem really busy, but I was looking to shape. 164 00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:46,497 Well, in that case, yeah, check out Frog Brothers, man. 165 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,791 He's the only real shaper we have around here. 166 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:49,959 Where's his shop at? 167 00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:53,587 Man, it's in the ass-end of nowhere, but I'll draw you a map. 168 00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:57,299 -I'm gonna give you my number. -Because that's not creepy. 169 00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:58,884 -Is it? -I'm totally kidding. 170 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,136 Okay, sorry. 171 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,264 NICOLE: I don't really even know your name. 172 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:06,100 -Evan. -I'm Nicole. 173 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:09,854 Just call me if you want somebody to hang out with. There you go. 174 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:13,149 Cool. 175 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,737 CHRIS: This should be it, right up here. 176 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:21,741 NICOLE: Charming. 177 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:42,845 Call me crazy, but do you really think anyone who lives here... 178 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:45,598 ...would be able to pay you to shape? 179 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,850 It doesn't hurt to try. 180 00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:14,001 -Okay, can we go? -No. Hand me a piece of paper and a pen. 181 00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:15,836 Why? 182 00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:19,423 Just in case he doesn't have a phone, I want him to know where to find me. 183 00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,467 Oh, yes. Yes, leave our address... 184 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,762 ...at the creepy Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer. 185 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,639 It's a good plan. 186 00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,619 CHRIS: I still think it's nicer than our place. 187 00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,371 [CHRIS LAUGHS] 188 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,964 And what do you think the state of the shower is? 189 00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,299 Not good. 190 00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,760 I think I'm gonna give it a shot. 191 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,749 Sorry. Did I scare you? 192 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,460 No, sorry, you just-- 193 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,670 I didn't hear you come up. 194 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:27,217 You want a picture? It might last longer. 195 00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:30,387 Sorry, man. Just-- 196 00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:32,181 You look exactly like Shane Powers. 197 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,475 That makes sense. 198 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,686 What the hell happened to you, man? You had everything. 199 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:40,940 You were the greatest surfer in the world and you just disappeared? 200 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,192 I could probably ask you the same question. 201 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,611 Right? 202 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,822 Yeah, well. I don't know. 203 00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:52,701 The dust hasn't settled yet so I don't know what the hell happened. 204 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,330 Well, don't take too long to figure it out. 205 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:59,291 But I had a chance to change my life and I took it, you know. 206 00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:01,293 Carpe diem. 207 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,597 You got plans for tonight? 208 00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,307 CHRIS: No. 209 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:16,767 I'm having a surf party. 210 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:20,437 You should cruise over, meet the rest of the guys. 211 00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,481 They're killer. 212 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,195 NICOLE: Can I come? 213 00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,572 No, I don't think it's a good idea. 214 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:32,408 Why not? 215 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,411 I don't know. A gut feeling I have, I don't know. 216 00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:36,662 I just met this guy. 217 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,748 Oh, please, you had a poster of him on your wall in high school. 218 00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:44,294 So I wanna go hang out at his house? He's-- 219 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,588 He's kind of a weirdo. 220 00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:49,425 -Weird is good. -No, weird is weird, all right? 221 00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:53,178 -I'm not going, so just save your breath. -What do you mean you're not going? 222 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,597 Chris, what are--? No. Get up, okay? 223 00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:58,058 -Get up. You need a night out. -No, I don't. 224 00:16:58,225 --> 00:16:59,852 Okay, I need a night out. 225 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,186 Let's go. Get up and-- 226 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,521 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 227 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,024 -Hey. -Hi. 228 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:08,610 I don't know if the two of you are busy tonight or not, but... 229 00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,738 ...I have got The Goonies. 230 00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:13,365 Excuse me? 231 00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,201 JILLIAN: The Goonies? 232 00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:20,706 Oh, my gosh, you mean to say the two of you have never heard of The Goonies? 233 00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:25,335 You are in for a very serious treat. 234 00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,629 Oh. Uh.... Actually, I mean, that-- 235 00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:31,925 Yeah, that sounds fun, but we actually have plans. 236 00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:35,971 We're going to a party. 237 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:41,643 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 238 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:28,190 NICOLE: It's not gonna be that bad. 239 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,150 CHRIS: Talk to me after I have a drink. 240 00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,444 I'm about to show you how to make the badass... 241 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,572 ...motherfucking sickest margarita recipe you've ever heard of. 242 00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:37,950 Take your hundred-percent, blue-agave tequila... 243 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,327 ...a fresh squeeze of lemon and/or lime juice... 244 00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:44,373 ...a little bit of an orange liqueur, something to kind of...take the edge off that. 245 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:47,709 The fourth and very secret ingredient ties the whole room together. 246 00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:50,546 Kind of like that rug in The Big Lebowski. 247 00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:54,216 And it's Chris-fucking-Emerson and his... 248 00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,552 -...hot piece-of-ass sister, Nicole? -Let's go. 249 00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:58,846 JON: What are you guys doing here? -Shane invited us. 250 00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:00,139 JON: No, idiot, here in Luna Bay. 251 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,808 -Are you fucking stalking me? CHRIS: We live here. 252 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,893 JON: Maybe we can get together again, Nicole. 253 00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:08,355 -You bar-bitching? That your new job? JON: Not you, maybe your hot sister, though. 254 00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,482 Speaking of which, it's been a long time. 255 00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:14,945 -You're looking really good in those boots. -Why don't you stop being such an ass? 256 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,613 JON: Ooh! Yeah, that's right, walk away. 257 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:20,075 Nicole, you're looking good, you've really grown into yourself. 258 00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:21,285 -Fuck off. JON: Call me. 259 00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:22,911 I told you this was a bad idea. 260 00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:27,332 -Forget about him. He's trying to get to you. -I don't care, I'm not staying at this party. 261 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,502 Chris. No, that's stupid, we just got here. 262 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:34,923 I don't wanna go anywhere, Chris, I wanna stay and have a good time, okay? 263 00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,133 I'm not a kid anymore. 264 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:39,469 I know you're not, but you're still my responsibility, so let's go. 265 00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:42,431 Okay, I won't get in trouble, okay? I promise. 266 00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:46,226 I'll take care of myself and you take care of yourself, okay? 267 00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:49,188 MAN: Hey, man, what's up? Yes, dude. 268 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:51,899 Dude, right? That's tight, bro. 269 00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,483 Okay, okay. Don't look now... 270 00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:58,155 ...but that little hottie over there by the fire is giving you all kinds of love. 271 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,658 Have fun. 272 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,464 Hey, Nicole. 273 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,799 Nicole. Nicole. 274 00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,521 Nicole. Nicole. 275 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:35,442 -Whoo! Woo-hoo. Hey, what's your deal? 276 00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:38,654 The deal is you're gonna go over there and sit by yourself... 277 00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:41,782 ...and you're gonna drink these margaritas by yourself. 278 00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:44,868 -No, I'm not. KYLE: Jon. 279 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,538 Better than the alternative, bro. 280 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,761 It's a hell of a view, isn't it? 281 00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:06,014 Yeah. The whole place, it's incredible. 282 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:14,856 Yeah. When I saw that view, I just knew I had to have this place. 283 00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:17,276 I'm Shane. 284 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:18,986 I'm Nicole. 285 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,863 Well, Nicole, how about I give you a little tour? 286 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,825 Yeah, okay. 287 00:21:40,048 --> 00:21:43,719 So are you gonna make your move or are you just gonna watch me dance all night? 288 00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:46,930 I was waiting for my moment. 289 00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:50,684 Seems to me like your moment almost passed you by, cowboy. 290 00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:53,103 I don't know, you're standing here talking to me. 291 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:56,273 Only because I have a weakness for surfer boys. 292 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,859 And because I know who you are. 293 00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:00,819 You follow surfing? 294 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,404 Surfers. 295 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:04,740 I follow surfers. 296 00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,704 And sometimes they follow me. 297 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,260 [SHOWER RUNNING] 298 00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:27,888 This is un-fucking-believable. 299 00:22:41,943 --> 00:22:43,820 NICOLE: Wow. 300 00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:47,449 -This place is amazing. -Thank you. 301 00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:53,538 So do you and your brother get along? 302 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:56,875 Yeah. Well, most of the time, you know. 303 00:22:57,042 --> 00:23:00,170 -Kind of have to. -You have to? Why's that? 304 00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:04,299 Well, because it's pretty much just us now. 305 00:23:05,008 --> 00:23:08,470 Our parents died in a car accident a few years ago. 306 00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:12,933 I think it was actually a lot harder on Chris than it was on me. 307 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,560 You know, I think that's why he snapped. 308 00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:17,687 Is that why he got kicked off the circuit? 309 00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:19,147 -Yeah. Yeah. -Yeah. 310 00:23:19,314 --> 00:23:22,109 And lost all his sponsors. Not the right image. 311 00:23:22,692 --> 00:23:27,989 So we started running out of money and that's how we ended up here. 312 00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:29,825 Yeah. Yeah. 313 00:23:29,991 --> 00:23:31,701 Well, your brother's a good guy, huh? 314 00:23:31,868 --> 00:23:35,747 He just got a tough break. You both did. 315 00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:37,499 Well... 316 00:23:37,999 --> 00:23:41,545 ...I actually think death can be a positive thing. 317 00:23:41,711 --> 00:23:42,963 You know, because... 318 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:47,300 ...knowing you're gonna die makes you appreciate life. 319 00:23:47,467 --> 00:23:48,760 The whole carpe diem thing. 320 00:23:49,886 --> 00:23:52,180 That's an interesting view for someone so young. 321 00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:55,642 I'm not that young. 322 00:23:56,184 --> 00:23:57,519 Well.... 323 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,522 Dying is a part of living, you know? 324 00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:04,109 It's something that's gonna happen to all of us someday, right? 325 00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:07,279 That depends. 326 00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:11,992 I wanna try something. 327 00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:24,504 I want you to take this dead rose in your hand. 328 00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:38,143 I believe that it's possible for us to change reality... 329 00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:39,895 ...through sheer force of will. 330 00:24:40,353 --> 00:24:42,314 You think that's possible? 331 00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:44,566 Um.... 332 00:24:45,692 --> 00:24:48,528 -I guess so. -You guess so or you know so? 333 00:24:51,114 --> 00:24:53,241 -I know so. -You know so. 334 00:24:53,408 --> 00:24:56,036 Okay, well then, close your eyes. 335 00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:58,413 Close your eyes. 336 00:24:59,247 --> 00:25:00,916 Now focus on this rose... 337 00:25:01,082 --> 00:25:05,420 ...and try to imagine what it must have been like when it was alive and vital. 338 00:25:07,964 --> 00:25:10,175 Do you feel anything? 339 00:25:10,759 --> 00:25:13,428 -Definitely. -Mm-hm. 340 00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:16,223 Open your eyes. 341 00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:23,063 NICOLE: Oh, my God. 342 00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:25,857 How did you do that? 343 00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:28,693 Magic. 344 00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:30,820 And I didn't do it... 345 00:25:33,323 --> 00:25:37,035 ...we did it, together. 346 00:25:37,410 --> 00:25:38,703 What is it? 347 00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:41,456 It's good, try it. 348 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,295 -Smells good. -Mm-hm. 349 00:25:51,466 --> 00:25:53,218 What do you think? 350 00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:57,597 I like it. 351 00:26:04,980 --> 00:26:07,357 -You okay? -Yeah. 352 00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:09,985 It just went right to my head. 353 00:26:11,987 --> 00:26:14,072 You wanna go outside and get some fresh air? 354 00:26:14,239 --> 00:26:16,700 Yeah? Let's go. 355 00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:36,011 SHANE: You wanna go for a ride? 356 00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:40,181 I don't know. It's kind of cold out. 357 00:26:40,348 --> 00:26:43,893 Well, that's what this is for. 358 00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:06,207 -Yo, Jo-Jo. JON: Hey. 359 00:27:06,374 --> 00:27:07,792 ERIK: Watch the pretty boy there. 360 00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:10,337 So here we are. Let's show him a little something. 361 00:27:10,503 --> 00:27:11,713 JON: Yeah. -Come, now. 362 00:27:13,798 --> 00:27:15,884 -Why don't you come upstairs with me-- -Yo, Kyle. 363 00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:17,677 [GRUNTING] 364 00:27:17,844 --> 00:27:19,220 [WOMEN SCREAMING] 365 00:27:19,387 --> 00:27:21,222 KYLE: What the fuck? 366 00:27:22,265 --> 00:27:23,433 [WOMAN SCREAMING] 367 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,560 What is it? What? 368 00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:28,855 Fuck. It fucking stings, man, that's not cool. 369 00:27:30,190 --> 00:27:33,193 Fucking asshole, man. I'm trying to get fucking laid. 370 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:36,363 This is a fucking brand-new shirt, prick. Come here, come here. 371 00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:38,657 Come here. Give me the fucking knife. 372 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:41,493 What the fuck? 373 00:27:42,077 --> 00:27:44,371 -Come back here. JON: Oh, down he goes. 374 00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:46,247 I'm sorry. 375 00:27:46,414 --> 00:27:47,999 I'm sorry, I gotta go. 376 00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:50,085 I have to go check on my sister. 377 00:27:50,251 --> 00:27:52,796 LISA: Your sister? -Sorry. 378 00:27:52,962 --> 00:27:55,715 So you go that way, huh? I can do that. 379 00:27:55,882 --> 00:27:57,634 -Sorry, I gotta go. -Wait. Don't leave. 380 00:27:57,801 --> 00:27:59,177 -I gotta go. -Don't leave. 381 00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:01,388 -Come on. -Don't. Stay. 382 00:28:01,554 --> 00:28:04,015 -Sorry. -Come. 383 00:29:11,249 --> 00:29:12,834 Feel better? 384 00:29:13,001 --> 00:29:14,878 -Much. -Yeah? 385 00:29:41,446 --> 00:29:44,324 I'm sure she's fine, she's with Shane. 386 00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:45,825 You know, Shane's a good guy. 387 00:29:45,992 --> 00:29:49,037 lf I were you, I'd be happy that he's into your sister. 388 00:29:54,417 --> 00:29:56,711 Hey, get off the bike. 389 00:29:57,378 --> 00:29:58,922 -What? Chris. -What's up, buddy? 390 00:29:59,088 --> 00:30:00,840 -Get off the bike -Is there a problem? 391 00:30:01,007 --> 00:30:03,802 No, dude, this is between me and my sister, man. Thank you. 392 00:30:03,968 --> 00:30:07,222 She can handle herself, man. Believe me. 393 00:30:07,388 --> 00:30:08,723 NICOLE: Chris. MAN: Oh, hell, no. 394 00:30:09,307 --> 00:30:10,725 NICOLE: Chris. -Jon. 395 00:30:10,892 --> 00:30:12,393 ERIK: Take it easy. -Let him go. 396 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,020 -Calm down. NICOLE: Get off of me. 397 00:30:14,187 --> 00:30:16,648 -Overprotective much? -She's my family, asshole. 398 00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:19,567 JON: Cool it, bitch. Settle down. 399 00:30:20,068 --> 00:30:21,277 -Let him go. JON: What? 400 00:30:21,444 --> 00:30:22,904 Let him go. 401 00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:32,914 Stay the hell away from my sister. 402 00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:36,501 Don't. 403 00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:38,753 JON: Stay the hell out of Malibu, Lebowski. 404 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,256 KYLE: Stop walking like a fag. 405 00:31:05,947 --> 00:31:08,533 CHRIS: I knew we shouldn't have gone to that party. 406 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:13,538 I asked you, like, to do two things, and you completely ignore me. 407 00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:15,915 Do not hang out with some dude you don't know... 408 00:31:16,082 --> 00:31:18,543 ...and don't go up to his room to party with the guy. 409 00:31:18,710 --> 00:31:20,461 -Okay, Chris. I get it. -What is that? 410 00:31:20,628 --> 00:31:22,380 Stop it. 411 00:31:23,882 --> 00:31:26,801 -Should have told me where you were-- -That's enough, stop it. 412 00:31:26,968 --> 00:31:29,387 Stop trying to be my dad. 413 00:31:33,141 --> 00:31:34,767 Oh, my God. 414 00:31:35,351 --> 00:31:37,186 Oh, my God. 415 00:31:37,687 --> 00:31:40,648 Chris, something is seriously wrong with me right now. 416 00:31:41,232 --> 00:31:43,776 Nothing's wrong with you, you're just drunk. 417 00:31:43,943 --> 00:31:45,278 NICOLE: Chris, I am not drunk. 418 00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:47,780 Something is seriously the matter with me. 419 00:31:47,947 --> 00:31:51,242 Okay, just hang on a little bit, all right? We're almost home. 420 00:31:51,409 --> 00:31:54,162 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I'm gonna-- 421 00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:56,122 [VOMITS] 422 00:32:00,710 --> 00:32:02,462 NICOLE: My stomach. 423 00:32:03,046 --> 00:32:04,756 CHRIS: Look, all right, we're almost there. 424 00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:07,550 I'm telling you, there is something seriously the matter. 425 00:32:07,717 --> 00:32:11,387 You're fine. You just need a glass of water and some Advil. 426 00:32:11,554 --> 00:32:13,598 All right, you're just drunk. 427 00:32:15,475 --> 00:32:17,185 NICOLE [IN DEMONIC VOICE]: I am not drunk. 428 00:32:18,102 --> 00:32:19,938 -Nicole. Nicole. -I'm sick. 429 00:32:30,281 --> 00:32:32,784 Chris Emerson? I'm Edgar Frog. 430 00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:35,787 Surfboard shaper and vampire hunter. 431 00:32:36,204 --> 00:32:37,747 What? 432 00:32:38,373 --> 00:32:40,792 -Hey, get-- -What are you doing? 433 00:32:44,879 --> 00:32:48,800 You don't know what you're doing. I'm trying to save you, your sister's infected. 434 00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:51,469 -What are you talking about? -She's one of the undead. 435 00:32:51,886 --> 00:32:53,012 Get-- 436 00:32:53,179 --> 00:32:54,889 Get out of my house. 437 00:32:55,056 --> 00:32:56,474 It's your funeral, pal. 438 00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:27,005 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 439 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,426 CHRIS: I told you to get the hell out of here, man. 440 00:33:31,592 --> 00:33:32,927 LISA: Hi. 441 00:33:34,887 --> 00:33:36,431 Hi. 442 00:33:36,597 --> 00:33:39,434 We didn't get to finish what we started. 443 00:33:39,726 --> 00:33:41,185 Yeah. 444 00:33:43,813 --> 00:33:46,149 Well, aren't you gonna invite me in? 445 00:33:48,109 --> 00:33:51,362 Now's not the best time. 446 00:33:57,785 --> 00:33:59,287 Yeah. 447 00:33:59,620 --> 00:34:02,040 Okay. Come on in. 448 00:34:10,923 --> 00:34:13,551 You know what? I'm sorry, I'm not-- 449 00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:18,222 -I can't do this with my sister back there. -Let me see if I can change your mind. 450 00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:19,932 Yeah? 451 00:34:39,994 --> 00:34:42,038 You taste good. 452 00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:48,169 Oh, hey. 453 00:34:48,586 --> 00:34:51,214 Lisa, get off. Stop. 454 00:34:53,758 --> 00:34:55,009 Lisa, stop it. 455 00:34:55,676 --> 00:34:58,846 Seriously, get-- What's the matter with you? 456 00:34:59,722 --> 00:35:01,057 Stop. Seriously, stop. 457 00:35:01,224 --> 00:35:02,350 [LISA GROWLING] 458 00:35:02,517 --> 00:35:04,018 Get off me. 459 00:35:04,185 --> 00:35:05,353 Lisa, get off. 460 00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:07,814 Lisa, get off. 461 00:35:33,548 --> 00:35:35,216 Lisa? 462 00:35:35,883 --> 00:35:38,678 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 463 00:35:58,030 --> 00:35:59,157 What the fuck? 464 00:36:11,419 --> 00:36:13,921 Hey, man. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. Whoa. 465 00:36:14,088 --> 00:36:15,131 Whoa. 466 00:36:15,298 --> 00:36:18,426 Let's get something straight. I let you get away with that shit... 467 00:36:18,593 --> 00:36:22,430 ...because I understand what it's like to lose a family member to the other side. 468 00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:26,893 lf it happens again, you're gonna end up on the wrong side of the stake, are we clear? 469 00:36:27,768 --> 00:36:29,979 -Mm-hm. -Good. 470 00:36:31,564 --> 00:36:33,858 It's cool, man. Look, I just-- 471 00:36:34,025 --> 00:36:37,153 I don't understand what's going on, all right? 472 00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:38,779 You said my sister was infected? 473 00:36:38,946 --> 00:36:41,115 Your sister's become a member of the undead. 474 00:36:41,282 --> 00:36:43,284 A night stalker. A bloodsucker. 475 00:36:43,451 --> 00:36:44,911 Nosferatu. 476 00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:48,623 Your sister's a suck monkey. 477 00:36:49,457 --> 00:36:51,709 Dude, that's-- That's ridiculous, man. 478 00:36:51,876 --> 00:36:55,379 Ridiculous? Then what are you doing here? 479 00:36:55,796 --> 00:36:59,342 Look, some crazy shit happened at my place after you left. 480 00:36:59,508 --> 00:37:01,135 Define "crazy shit." 481 00:37:02,094 --> 00:37:05,431 Well, this-- This chick came into my house and-- 482 00:37:05,598 --> 00:37:10,436 And she sprouted fangs and then she turned into stone and exploded. 483 00:37:11,896 --> 00:37:14,232 Now, that's just ridiculous. 484 00:37:14,398 --> 00:37:17,151 Vampires don't just turn into stone and then explode. 485 00:37:17,318 --> 00:37:20,780 They have to be pierced through the heart with a sharp object. 486 00:37:22,156 --> 00:37:24,909 You know, I guess the antlers could have done that. 487 00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:27,495 I thought it had to be a wooden stake or something. 488 00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:30,248 EDGAR: That's a myth. Any sharp object will do. 489 00:37:30,414 --> 00:37:32,792 As a matter of fact, it doesn't have to be sharp. 490 00:37:32,959 --> 00:37:35,670 It can be a blunt object, as long as it pierces the heart. 491 00:37:35,836 --> 00:37:38,339 You said my sister was one of them? 492 00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:41,217 -But how would that happen? -One of two ways: 493 00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:42,969 Either A, she was bit... 494 00:37:43,135 --> 00:37:47,139 ...or B, she drank the blood of the head vampire. 495 00:37:47,848 --> 00:37:50,518 How do you know so much about vampires? 496 00:37:50,977 --> 00:37:53,437 EDGAR: Comic books, my friend, comic books. 497 00:37:53,604 --> 00:37:55,856 I ask you for answers and you give me comic books? 498 00:37:56,023 --> 00:37:59,652 A lot of valuable information can be gained by reading comic books. 499 00:37:59,819 --> 00:38:01,529 For example... 500 00:38:01,988 --> 00:38:03,322 ...see here? 501 00:38:03,489 --> 00:38:06,033 This poor sap's drinking the blood of the head vampire. 502 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:09,787 They like to trick people by putting it into wine bottles. 503 00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:43,029 Dude, what are you drinking, man? 504 00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:44,697 Frog Juice. 505 00:38:44,864 --> 00:38:47,908 Garlic, holy water and raw eggs. 506 00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:52,413 Okay, so what you're saying is, based on a comic book... 507 00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:55,082 ...my sister drank blood and now she's a vampire. 508 00:38:55,249 --> 00:38:57,835 Half. She's only half vampire. 509 00:38:58,002 --> 00:39:02,048 She won't make the transition to full bloodsucker until she makes her first kill. 510 00:39:02,214 --> 00:39:05,426 -Great. -That is great, actually. 511 00:39:05,593 --> 00:39:09,013 Because it means you still have time to save her mortal soul. 512 00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:14,894 All you have to do is kill the head vampire before she feeds. 513 00:40:41,188 --> 00:40:42,606 Hello? 514 00:40:44,316 --> 00:40:45,860 Hello? 515 00:40:46,527 --> 00:40:48,612 NICOLE: It's open. 516 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:54,702 EVAN: Hi. 517 00:40:55,369 --> 00:40:57,288 I brought wine. 518 00:41:09,550 --> 00:41:11,552 I love wine. 519 00:41:31,071 --> 00:41:33,908 To be honest, I really didn't think you dug me all that much. 520 00:41:34,074 --> 00:41:36,660 -Why would you think that? -Just a vibe I got, I guess. 521 00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:43,417 NICOLE: What vibe are you getting now? 522 00:41:43,584 --> 00:41:46,045 EVAN: A really good one. 523 00:42:00,768 --> 00:42:01,977 [GROWLS] 524 00:42:02,144 --> 00:42:04,522 CHRIS: Nicole. EVAN: Oh, shit. 525 00:42:04,730 --> 00:42:06,607 Did--? Did you do it? 526 00:42:06,774 --> 00:42:09,360 -Get the hell out of here. -We didn't do anything, man. 527 00:42:09,527 --> 00:42:12,780 Dude, I didn't know you guys were born-again Christians or whatever. 528 00:42:16,116 --> 00:42:17,618 Man, I'm not using your sister. 529 00:42:17,785 --> 00:42:20,162 CHRIS: Yeah, good to know. Thank you. -I really like her. 530 00:43:04,456 --> 00:43:08,836 CHRIS: This is basically one of those, like, good news/bad news scenario things. 531 00:43:09,003 --> 00:43:10,546 What do you want first? 532 00:43:10,713 --> 00:43:13,632 Oh, shit. Okay, the bad news. 533 00:43:13,799 --> 00:43:17,344 Okay, the bad news is that the wine that Shane gave you the other night... 534 00:43:17,511 --> 00:43:19,847 ...wasn't wine, all right, it was blood. 535 00:43:20,431 --> 00:43:22,349 Shane's blood. 536 00:43:23,267 --> 00:43:24,518 Right. 537 00:43:24,685 --> 00:43:28,522 Okay, Chris, I know you don't like the guy, but, like, that's disgusting. 538 00:43:28,689 --> 00:43:32,026 No, and by drinking his blood, you've been turned into a vampire. 539 00:43:32,192 --> 00:43:34,528 Right, I'm a vampire, Chris. Great. 540 00:43:34,695 --> 00:43:37,323 Stop being such an asshole, I'm not a freaking vampire. 541 00:43:37,489 --> 00:43:39,783 I'm not being an asshole, Nicole. 542 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:44,580 I know it sounds ridiculous, but take a look. 543 00:43:44,747 --> 00:43:45,956 See anything missing? 544 00:43:46,373 --> 00:43:47,625 You. 545 00:43:52,546 --> 00:43:55,591 No. Vampire. You weren't gonna make out with that kid... 546 00:43:55,758 --> 00:43:56,967 ...you were gonna eat him. 547 00:43:57,134 --> 00:44:00,387 You had fangs and crazy eyes, I saw it all. 548 00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:08,312 Okay, the good news better be really fucking good. 549 00:44:08,479 --> 00:44:11,190 No, the good news is great news, okay? 550 00:44:11,357 --> 00:44:14,109 See, right now you're only, like, half of a vampire. 551 00:44:14,276 --> 00:44:16,153 Which means you can be turned back to human. 552 00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:19,406 as long as Eddie and I kill the head vampire before you feed. 553 00:44:19,573 --> 00:44:21,825 -So just don't eat anyone. -What? Who's Eddie? 554 00:44:21,992 --> 00:44:23,744 Eddie Frog, he's a vampire slayer. 555 00:44:23,911 --> 00:44:26,872 -I thought he was a surfboard shaper. -Well, that too. 556 00:44:28,082 --> 00:44:30,250 Right. Okay. 557 00:44:30,417 --> 00:44:33,462 Let me just get this straight then. So you've teamed up... 558 00:44:33,629 --> 00:44:36,131 ...with a surfboard-shaper-slash-vampire-hunter... 559 00:44:36,298 --> 00:44:39,176 ...so you can kill this guy who I'm totally crushing on... 560 00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:42,388 ...so you can save me from eternal damnation? 561 00:44:42,554 --> 00:44:45,391 -Is that pretty much it? -Yeah, that's pretty much it. 562 00:44:48,185 --> 00:44:50,771 [BOTH SCREAMING] 563 00:44:50,938 --> 00:44:53,941 -No. Calm down, calm down. -No, Chris, I'm not gonna calm down. 564 00:44:54,108 --> 00:44:55,859 -No. -What's wrong with you? 565 00:44:56,026 --> 00:44:58,112 I tried to eat that guy, do you realize that? 566 00:44:58,278 --> 00:45:00,906 Do you know what it's like for me to want to drink blood? 567 00:45:01,073 --> 00:45:04,368 Do you know how disgusting that is? I'm a vegetarian. 568 00:45:25,055 --> 00:45:26,682 [YELLS] 569 00:46:10,684 --> 00:46:13,061 [KYLE CACKLING] 570 00:46:13,645 --> 00:46:16,190 KYLE: Is he behind Door Number 1? 571 00:46:16,732 --> 00:46:18,984 Door Number 2? 572 00:46:19,651 --> 00:46:21,487 Or Door Number... 573 00:46:22,696 --> 00:46:23,739 ...3? 574 00:46:23,906 --> 00:46:25,866 [GRUNTING] 575 00:46:39,046 --> 00:46:42,174 [WHISTLING "IN THE HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING"] 576 00:46:42,758 --> 00:46:44,426 [EVAN SCREAMING] 577 00:46:47,554 --> 00:46:49,223 EDGAR: We're screwed. 578 00:46:50,140 --> 00:46:53,811 There's just too many places where the nest could be. 579 00:46:54,561 --> 00:46:57,731 Look, I already told you, Shane's the head vampire. 580 00:46:57,898 --> 00:47:00,192 We went to party at his house a couple nights ago. 581 00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:02,319 It's gotta be the nest. 582 00:47:03,445 --> 00:47:05,739 There's no way that any self-respecting vampire... 583 00:47:05,906 --> 00:47:07,866 ...would ever live in a place like that. 584 00:47:08,033 --> 00:47:12,579 I mean, they may use it as a lure or a place to feed... 585 00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:15,082 ...but they'd never sleep there. 586 00:47:15,249 --> 00:47:17,209 Vampires... 587 00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:21,588 ...always look for a place with a history of human suffering. 588 00:47:22,089 --> 00:47:26,051 Deep, dark, dank places. 589 00:47:27,094 --> 00:47:30,681 Places that never see the light of day. 590 00:47:30,848 --> 00:47:33,392 Places with lots of vermin. 591 00:47:33,767 --> 00:47:38,188 Places that smell of rot and earth... 592 00:47:38,605 --> 00:47:40,566 ...and decay. 593 00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:55,622 Nicole. 594 00:47:58,375 --> 00:48:02,170 Nicole. 595 00:48:29,114 --> 00:48:31,116 Nicole. 596 00:48:34,995 --> 00:48:36,705 Hurry. 597 00:48:45,380 --> 00:48:47,090 Hurry. 598 00:48:53,972 --> 00:48:56,308 There's no way we can find out where the nest is... 599 00:48:56,475 --> 00:48:58,977 ...without you being in their inner circle. 600 00:48:59,144 --> 00:49:01,063 Well, then that's what I'll do. 601 00:49:01,605 --> 00:49:02,856 I'll get back in with them. 602 00:49:03,023 --> 00:49:06,485 -I'm gonna become one of them. -Don't be stupid, all right? 603 00:49:06,652 --> 00:49:08,904 They can read your thoughts before you have them. 604 00:49:09,071 --> 00:49:11,865 Come on, man. She's family, asshole. 605 00:49:19,206 --> 00:49:21,500 You hit a soft spot there. 606 00:49:22,042 --> 00:49:24,211 I know what it's like to lose a sibling. 607 00:49:27,047 --> 00:49:31,301 lf you're gonna do this, then you have to do it all the way. 608 00:49:31,718 --> 00:49:34,012 I mean, you have to be seduced by it. 609 00:49:34,179 --> 00:49:36,723 You have to succumb to it. 610 00:49:37,766 --> 00:49:42,854 You have to take it all the way to the brink of becoming a full vampire. 611 00:49:43,021 --> 00:49:47,150 And then you have to betray them at the last possible moment. 612 00:49:47,317 --> 00:49:49,820 Do you think you can really handle that? 613 00:49:50,737 --> 00:49:52,197 It's the only way, Eddie. 614 00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:54,574 Edgar. 615 00:49:54,741 --> 00:49:56,702 Sorry, Edgar. 616 00:49:56,868 --> 00:49:57,995 You know I'm right. 617 00:50:05,752 --> 00:50:07,379 It's a dangerous game. 618 00:50:08,130 --> 00:50:10,841 And it's one that you're likely to lose. 619 00:50:11,925 --> 00:50:13,760 So just know... 620 00:50:14,928 --> 00:50:16,888 ...if you forget your place... 621 00:50:17,472 --> 00:50:19,725 ...and you become one of them... 622 00:50:20,684 --> 00:50:23,020 ...I'll be coming for you. 623 00:51:39,721 --> 00:51:40,931 This shit's cool. 624 00:51:41,098 --> 00:51:44,142 ERIK: Yo, Kyle, stop playing with yourself, man, the game gonna start. 625 00:51:44,309 --> 00:51:46,019 KYLE: Fucking cheater. ERIK: You know what? 626 00:51:46,186 --> 00:51:48,939 -I been calling you, brethren. KYLE: You haven't been calling me. 627 00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:50,440 ERIK: Shut up. 628 00:51:52,484 --> 00:51:53,652 Always with your crying. 629 00:51:53,819 --> 00:51:56,780 -Dude, quit it. Fucking cheater. -Listen, don't start crying. 630 00:51:56,947 --> 00:51:58,532 Check it out. Check it out. 631 00:51:58,698 --> 00:52:00,200 Tape them. 632 00:52:00,367 --> 00:52:02,160 -Tape them, man. -Skin out. 633 00:52:02,661 --> 00:52:06,039 KYLE: So nice. ERIK: Backside. 634 00:52:07,457 --> 00:52:08,625 [ERIK SCREAMS] 635 00:52:08,792 --> 00:52:10,001 [KYLE LAUGHING] 636 00:52:10,168 --> 00:52:12,629 KYLE: Yeah, bitch. ERIK: Holy fuck. 637 00:52:12,796 --> 00:52:14,881 -What the fuck is your problem? -Motherfucker. 638 00:52:15,048 --> 00:52:18,009 ERIK: You're a dead man. -Yeah, fucking blow me, buddy. Again. 639 00:52:18,176 --> 00:52:20,220 -Who's the cheater now? -Fucking white people. 640 00:52:20,387 --> 00:52:21,972 Pull this out. I ain't playing. 641 00:52:22,139 --> 00:52:25,225 -You're gonna be all over the fucking Net. -Stop. Fuck off. 642 00:52:25,392 --> 00:52:27,269 Dude, you're fucking squirting everywhere. 643 00:52:27,435 --> 00:52:28,728 -You're a squirter. -Shane. 644 00:52:54,254 --> 00:52:56,089 What about my brother? 645 00:52:56,464 --> 00:52:57,883 I don't wanna lose him. 646 00:52:58,049 --> 00:52:59,634 You won't. 647 00:53:05,599 --> 00:53:07,434 Trust me. 648 00:54:50,412 --> 00:54:51,663 MAN: Full name? 649 00:54:51,830 --> 00:54:53,540 CHRIS: Uh, Nicole. 650 00:54:54,833 --> 00:54:56,376 Em-- 651 00:54:56,584 --> 00:54:58,211 Emerson. 652 00:55:00,046 --> 00:55:01,923 All right, we'll call you. 653 00:55:02,090 --> 00:55:04,592 That's it? Just gonna type her name onto a computer... 654 00:55:04,759 --> 00:55:07,220 ...and hope someone turns her in like a dog pound? 655 00:55:07,387 --> 00:55:10,140 -Isn’t that kind of passive? -Son, we have a system. 656 00:55:10,307 --> 00:55:12,517 Officer, there's gotta be something you can do-- 657 00:55:12,684 --> 00:55:15,729 -Sheriff. -Sheriff, I'm sorry. 658 00:55:15,979 --> 00:55:17,314 I'm really worried about her. 659 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,733 McGRAW: We have a lot of missing persons around here. 660 00:55:19,899 --> 00:55:23,069 I know. I mean, what if they're not missing, you know? 661 00:55:23,236 --> 00:55:24,738 It could be something else. 662 00:55:24,904 --> 00:55:26,990 Son, hit the road. We have a system. 663 00:55:27,157 --> 00:55:28,742 [PHONE RINGING] 664 00:55:30,327 --> 00:55:32,579 Luna Bay. Sheriff McGraw. 665 00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:34,706 Really? How big? 666 00:55:35,123 --> 00:55:37,751 Yeah, last week I caught about a 25-pounder. 667 00:55:43,089 --> 00:55:46,676 [JON WHISTLING "IN THE HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING"] 668 00:55:48,720 --> 00:55:51,097 JON: Not very helpful, huh? 669 00:55:52,182 --> 00:55:55,310 Yeah, I was gonna ask them if they could help us find Lisa. 670 00:55:55,477 --> 00:55:58,146 Haven't seen her in a couple of days. 671 00:55:59,147 --> 00:56:02,609 Hey, didn't I see you with her last? 672 00:56:04,652 --> 00:56:06,363 Where's my sister, man? 673 00:56:06,529 --> 00:56:09,115 Oh, yeah, your sister. 674 00:56:09,282 --> 00:56:10,992 Man, I saw her like an hour ago. 675 00:56:11,159 --> 00:56:13,453 She looked like she was having a really good time. 676 00:56:13,620 --> 00:56:15,121 Where the hell is my sister, man? 677 00:56:15,288 --> 00:56:19,000 Oh, hey, hey. Relax, little man, okay? 678 00:56:19,167 --> 00:56:23,588 Trust me when I tell you this is, right here, a time that you wanna keep your cool... 679 00:56:23,755 --> 00:56:26,257 ...if you ever wanna see Nicole again. 680 00:56:33,515 --> 00:56:35,058 What do you want? 681 00:56:36,393 --> 00:56:38,144 It's not what I want, bro... 682 00:56:38,770 --> 00:56:41,022 ...it's what Shane wants. 683 00:56:42,565 --> 00:56:44,484 Get in the car. 684 00:57:09,926 --> 00:57:14,013 [JON WHISTLING "IN THE HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING"] 685 00:57:26,151 --> 00:57:27,318 [HOWLS] 686 00:57:30,947 --> 00:57:32,949 How's it, ladies? 687 00:57:36,828 --> 00:57:39,539 Mr. Vampire Slayer, how you doing? 688 00:57:39,747 --> 00:57:41,416 CHRIS: You okay? 689 00:57:41,791 --> 00:57:43,209 I'm good. 690 00:57:43,376 --> 00:57:45,170 I'm really good. 691 00:57:49,299 --> 00:57:51,551 Sorry about last night, man. 692 00:57:52,677 --> 00:57:55,096 You were protecting your sister. 693 00:57:56,055 --> 00:57:57,724 I get it. 694 00:57:59,392 --> 00:58:01,144 But I'd never do anything to hurt her. 695 00:58:01,311 --> 00:58:07,567 In fact, once you understand it a little more, you'll see I've given Nicole a gift. 696 00:58:10,069 --> 00:58:13,531 Do you know how much the fear of death has limited you, Chris? 697 00:58:13,698 --> 00:58:16,326 The negative impact it's had on your life? 698 00:58:17,368 --> 00:58:19,621 You're probably not even aware of it. 699 00:58:19,787 --> 00:58:23,958 And I'm not just talking about the fear of your own death, no. 700 00:58:24,709 --> 00:58:28,755 Look at what the fear of losing your loved ones has done to you. 701 00:58:29,923 --> 00:58:32,300 You've been so worried about losing Nicole... 702 00:58:32,467 --> 00:58:36,679 ...that it's made you paranoid and overprotective. 703 00:58:37,972 --> 00:58:40,642 I can take that fear away. 704 00:58:41,017 --> 00:58:44,687 I can make you part of a real family, Chris. 705 00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:47,941 One that never dies. 706 00:58:49,734 --> 00:58:53,863 Kyle's human family wrote him off a long time ago. 707 00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:56,866 They thought he was suicidal. 708 00:58:57,033 --> 00:58:59,202 But I saw him for what he truly was... 709 00:58:59,744 --> 00:59:02,163 ...an adrenaline junkie. 710 00:59:04,207 --> 00:59:07,710 Erik, well, the less we say about his past, the better. 711 00:59:07,877 --> 00:59:12,131 We wouldn't wanna make you an accessory after the fact, now would we? 712 00:59:13,424 --> 00:59:16,719 And Jonny boy, well... 713 00:59:17,303 --> 00:59:21,766 ...after you shattered his knee, he was never supposed to surf again. 714 00:59:23,142 --> 00:59:24,269 Look at him now. 715 00:59:25,311 --> 00:59:26,813 Stronger than ever, bro. 716 00:59:28,439 --> 00:59:32,193 But for you to truly understand what we are, Chris... 717 00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:35,280 ...you have to see the world the way we do. 718 00:59:36,197 --> 00:59:38,366 You and your sister... 719 00:59:38,700 --> 00:59:40,827 ...will never grow old... 720 00:59:41,202 --> 00:59:44,664 ...you'll never die and you'll never know fear again. 721 00:59:45,999 --> 00:59:48,293 But you have to take that first step. 722 01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:04,809 And what's that? 723 01:00:06,686 --> 01:00:10,565 It's a little something me and the boys came up with. 724 01:00:26,539 --> 01:00:29,208 [YELLING] 725 01:00:38,217 --> 01:00:40,928 Warriors. 726 01:00:42,138 --> 01:00:45,141 -What the--? -Come out to play. 727 01:00:45,308 --> 01:00:46,893 Let's go. 728 01:01:07,747 --> 01:01:09,123 Oh, shit. 729 01:01:09,290 --> 01:01:11,584 Now! Now! 730 01:01:33,439 --> 01:01:35,108 JON: Yo, hold up. 731 01:01:37,944 --> 01:01:40,321 SHANE: Let him out, Kyle. 732 01:01:58,172 --> 01:01:59,465 How do you like that, bitch? 733 01:02:01,384 --> 01:02:02,635 Go, go. 734 01:02:32,582 --> 01:02:34,000 SHANE: Jump it, Chris. 735 01:02:44,802 --> 01:02:46,179 JON: Fuck you! 736 01:02:46,345 --> 01:02:49,015 -Fuck you. -Yeah. 737 01:03:02,153 --> 01:03:04,030 Fuck you! 738 01:03:14,332 --> 01:03:16,209 [YELLING] 739 01:03:17,502 --> 01:03:18,961 KYLE: How do you like that? 740 01:03:19,128 --> 01:03:21,714 Hey, on top of the world, Ma. 741 01:03:28,429 --> 01:03:29,555 ERIK: Hold on, brother. 742 01:03:29,722 --> 01:03:32,433 It's a private club and you're not a member. 743 01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:34,811 SHANE: Not yet, anyway. 744 01:03:37,647 --> 01:03:38,815 Well, what if I say yes? 745 01:03:40,191 --> 01:03:42,693 Think long and hard about it, Chris. 746 01:03:42,860 --> 01:03:46,239 Once you join the tribe, there's no turning back. 747 01:03:50,034 --> 01:03:52,829 [AIRBOURNE'S "TOO MUCH, TOO YOUNG, TOO FAST" PLAYS ON CAR STEREO] 748 01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:59,210 [MUSIC STOPS] 749 01:04:04,632 --> 01:04:06,801 JILLIAN: Your check bounced. 750 01:04:07,510 --> 01:04:10,805 No, it's-- I transferred some money from one account to the other, so-- 751 01:04:10,972 --> 01:04:14,976 Save the bull for your buddies. I'm gonna need a new security deposit immediately. 752 01:04:15,142 --> 01:04:18,604 It's gonna need to be in the form of a cashier's check or a money order. 753 01:04:18,771 --> 01:04:21,440 Maybe this is my fault. Maybe I gave the wrong impression. 754 01:04:21,607 --> 01:04:24,235 Come on, it's not that big of a deal. Just wait two days. 755 01:04:24,402 --> 01:04:27,613 Just let me finish. Could you please take your sunglasses off? 756 01:04:27,780 --> 01:04:29,949 I can't talk to you unless I can see your eyes. 757 01:04:30,116 --> 01:04:33,244 Look, I didn't want you guys to feel like I was trying to step in... 758 01:04:33,411 --> 01:04:36,831 ...and act like your parents, but that doesn't mean you can go crazy here. 759 01:04:36,998 --> 01:04:41,586 I saw your sister had a guy over last night. How old is she? 760 01:04:42,295 --> 01:04:45,047 -She's almost, like, 18. -That means she's 17 years old. 761 01:04:45,214 --> 01:04:48,593 And you coming and going at all hours of the day and night.... 762 01:04:48,759 --> 01:04:51,345 You know, I have a reputation to think of, I-- 763 01:04:51,512 --> 01:04:53,639 I realize I am not your mother, but-- 764 01:04:53,806 --> 01:04:57,602 But you-- Doesn't mean you can behave like this on my property. 765 01:04:57,768 --> 01:04:59,645 All right, I'm sorry. 766 01:05:02,815 --> 01:05:04,734 Yeah, me too. 767 01:05:06,819 --> 01:05:09,989 Partying all night, sleeping all day. 768 01:05:10,156 --> 01:05:12,950 You both need to quit acting like a couple of vampires. 769 01:05:24,128 --> 01:05:26,505 This is ridiculous. 770 01:05:47,985 --> 01:05:50,154 SHANE: You and your sister... 771 01:05:50,446 --> 01:05:52,448 ...will never grow old... 772 01:05:52,990 --> 01:05:56,410 ...you'll never die and you'll never know fear again. 773 01:05:58,704 --> 01:06:00,998 [CAR HORN HONKING] 774 01:06:53,342 --> 01:06:56,595 JON: You're sharking it, man, you're sharking it. 775 01:06:57,513 --> 01:06:59,098 KYLE: Who wants some? 776 01:06:59,265 --> 01:07:00,891 JON: Now you ask? 777 01:07:01,058 --> 01:07:03,686 -Where we headed? SHANE: Devil's Reef. 778 01:07:03,853 --> 01:07:06,605 I hear it's firing right now. 779 01:07:06,856 --> 01:07:10,901 -We're paddling out tonight? -Yeah, why not? 780 01:07:11,068 --> 01:07:14,113 CHRIS: There's no moon, bet we're not gonna see anything. 781 01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:16,323 [VAMPIRES LAUGHING] 782 01:07:17,575 --> 01:07:19,785 What, you guys have night vision or something? 783 01:07:19,952 --> 01:07:22,288 ERIK: What kind of night vision you chatting about, boy? 784 01:07:22,455 --> 01:07:25,958 -Can't you turn yourselves into bats? -Way too many movies, bro. 785 01:07:26,125 --> 01:07:29,295 Yeah, we don't have night vision, Chris. 786 01:07:29,795 --> 01:07:33,924 Bats, they don't actually have night vision either, they have sonar. 787 01:07:34,091 --> 01:07:35,676 SHANE: You know what? You're half right. 788 01:07:35,843 --> 01:07:38,637 Like I told you before, we do see things differently. 789 01:07:39,138 --> 01:07:40,973 Kind of like you're about to. 790 01:07:45,811 --> 01:07:48,773 After you have a little taste of this. 791 01:08:15,341 --> 01:08:18,010 [VAMPIRES YELL] 792 01:08:18,177 --> 01:08:20,304 [BANGING] 793 01:08:31,023 --> 01:08:32,983 ERIK: Bye, boy. 794 01:08:46,831 --> 01:08:50,292 -You haven't seen anything yet, Chris. ERIK: No, you ain't. You're not done yet. 795 01:08:50,459 --> 01:08:53,879 Wait till you see the girls we got waiting for us at the reef, bro. 796 01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:00,052 It's gonna be crazy, bro. 797 01:09:00,970 --> 01:09:03,806 Crazy. 798 01:09:21,657 --> 01:09:24,160 [PEOPLE LAUGHING] 799 01:09:28,372 --> 01:09:30,583 All right, my turn. 800 01:09:33,836 --> 01:09:36,046 ERIK: Did you ever hear of getting your own thing? 801 01:09:36,213 --> 01:09:38,299 KYLE: Did you ever hear of shutting the hell up? 802 01:09:38,465 --> 01:09:40,968 ERIK: You mind yourself, boy. Mister, ease off. 803 01:09:41,135 --> 01:09:42,553 All right, enough. 804 01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:43,929 [KYLE CHEERING] 805 01:09:44,096 --> 01:09:45,931 What? What, what? 806 01:09:46,098 --> 01:09:47,266 KYLE: Camera, please. 807 01:09:48,100 --> 01:09:49,602 All right, girls. 808 01:09:49,768 --> 01:09:51,896 Show me something that I can't find on YouTube. 809 01:09:52,062 --> 01:09:53,189 WOMAN 1: That's you. 810 01:09:53,939 --> 01:09:55,608 Nice. Go, go, go. 811 01:09:55,774 --> 01:09:59,320 KYLE: What's that? That's what I'm talking about. 812 01:09:59,486 --> 01:10:00,905 What about you, sweet thing? 813 01:10:01,071 --> 01:10:03,449 -You gonna let her step you up like that? WOMAN 2: No. 814 01:10:03,991 --> 01:10:06,619 WOMAN 3: What has she got? -What do you got for me? 815 01:10:06,785 --> 01:10:08,329 KYLE: Oh, shit. 816 01:10:08,495 --> 01:10:12,166 Oh, yes. That's sexy, but still that's something I could see... 817 01:10:12,333 --> 01:10:15,669 ...on my Girls Gone Wild box set, so... 818 01:10:18,964 --> 01:10:20,257 ...I dare you guys to kiss. 819 01:10:20,424 --> 01:10:22,092 -Double dare? KYLE: Double dare. 820 01:10:25,763 --> 01:10:28,224 KYLE: Oh, fuck, are you seeing this? Seriously, watch. 821 01:10:30,476 --> 01:10:31,769 I think so. 822 01:10:35,814 --> 01:10:37,066 SHANE: Guys? JON: Oh, hey. 823 01:10:37,233 --> 01:10:39,401 -We're out of here. -Where are you going? 824 01:10:39,568 --> 01:10:41,612 Back to our place... 825 01:10:41,779 --> 01:10:43,489 -...for a drink. -I'll come with you. 826 01:10:43,656 --> 01:10:46,325 SHANE: No, hang back, Chris, there's plenty for you to do here. 827 01:10:46,492 --> 01:10:50,329 Besides, this is Nicole's time. 828 01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:00,589 KYLE: Just have a seat, man. 829 01:11:02,132 --> 01:11:03,926 JON: Attaboy. 830 01:11:21,026 --> 01:11:22,361 So check this out. 831 01:11:23,195 --> 01:11:27,533 Do you know that salt water and blood are basically the same thing? 832 01:11:27,908 --> 01:11:29,410 It's true. 833 01:11:29,576 --> 01:11:32,788 There's a French biologist that did this experiment on a stray dog... 834 01:11:32,955 --> 01:11:34,873 ...around the turn of the century. 835 01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:39,044 He drained all the blood out of the dog and replaced it with diluted seawater... 836 01:11:39,211 --> 01:11:42,881 ...and everybody thought that this dog was gonna die. 837 01:11:43,424 --> 01:11:45,175 Except the dog didn't. 838 01:11:45,342 --> 01:11:49,388 What they found is that all the missing blood had regenerated. 839 01:11:49,722 --> 01:11:52,057 The saltwater became blood. 840 01:11:52,266 --> 01:11:57,521 And after that, the dog was more alive and vibrant than it ever had been before. 841 01:11:58,772 --> 01:12:03,235 The dog went on to live a long and very healthy life. 842 01:12:09,908 --> 01:12:12,077 To long life, Chris. 843 01:12:25,716 --> 01:12:27,426 Let me try some of that. 844 01:12:28,427 --> 01:12:31,430 JON: I don't really think you'd find it too much to your liking. 845 01:12:31,597 --> 01:12:34,058 You might wanna just stick with the beer. 846 01:12:38,479 --> 01:12:43,108 So what exactly was the point of your very long and boring story, Jon? 847 01:12:43,275 --> 01:12:45,277 KYLE: Basically, what he's trying to say is... 848 01:12:45,444 --> 01:12:47,237 ...we're vampires. 849 01:12:47,404 --> 01:12:48,781 [WOMEN LAUGH] 850 01:12:48,947 --> 01:12:52,493 -Ooh. Scary. -No, but seriously... 851 01:12:54,119 --> 01:12:55,537 [IN DEMONIC VOICE] ...we're vampires. 852 01:12:55,704 --> 01:12:57,831 [WOMEN SCREAMING] 853 01:13:02,252 --> 01:13:04,046 Help me! 854 01:13:06,632 --> 01:13:07,633 No, no, no. 855 01:13:08,926 --> 01:13:11,387 WOMAN: No, please. 856 01:13:18,894 --> 01:13:20,479 Let me go. 857 01:13:20,646 --> 01:13:22,231 Shut the fuck up. 858 01:13:22,398 --> 01:13:24,024 [SCREAMING] 859 01:13:24,191 --> 01:13:26,110 CHRIS: No, no, no. 860 01:13:29,405 --> 01:13:32,825 I'm thinking I love this girl. Oh, fuck, I love this girl. 861 01:13:35,661 --> 01:13:37,663 Do it. 862 01:13:40,249 --> 01:13:43,585 Do it! 863 01:13:44,628 --> 01:13:46,797 Run. Go. 864 01:13:46,964 --> 01:13:48,465 Come on. 865 01:14:14,116 --> 01:14:15,534 You're fucked up, bro. 866 01:14:15,701 --> 01:14:19,538 Shane's not around to save your ass and I've had it with your attitude. 867 01:14:29,339 --> 01:14:31,884 Guess you think I'm kidding you, bud... 868 01:14:33,051 --> 01:14:34,720 ...but it ain't so. 869 01:14:35,471 --> 01:14:38,640 Where's Shane now, bi--? Fuck. 870 01:15:11,256 --> 01:15:13,926 You ain't got no fucking stick now, do you? 871 01:15:15,636 --> 01:15:16,929 Come on, let's finish this. 872 01:15:17,095 --> 01:15:18,764 EDGAR: Hey! 873 01:15:20,432 --> 01:15:21,600 Who ordered the stake? 874 01:15:25,604 --> 01:15:27,314 Are you cool? 875 01:15:27,481 --> 01:15:28,774 Yeah, I'm cool. 876 01:15:28,941 --> 01:15:32,277 I said, are you cool? 877 01:15:32,444 --> 01:15:33,779 Show me your teeth. 878 01:15:33,946 --> 01:15:35,614 I said I'm cool. 879 01:15:35,781 --> 01:15:38,617 And I said, show me your teeth. 880 01:15:39,952 --> 01:15:43,539 I am cool. 881 01:15:43,956 --> 01:15:46,959 Yeah, I can see that. 882 01:15:47,417 --> 01:15:49,836 We don't have time for this shit, Eddie. 883 01:15:50,003 --> 01:15:53,257 We have to get to the nest and get my sister before she feeds. 884 01:15:55,801 --> 01:15:58,095 That's what I'm talking about. 885 01:16:00,639 --> 01:16:02,724 I hate fucking vampires. 886 01:16:05,269 --> 01:16:07,896 [EDGAR SPEAKING IN LATIN] 887 01:16:14,319 --> 01:16:15,571 What are you doing, man? 888 01:16:15,737 --> 01:16:17,698 Turning this into holy water. 889 01:16:17,864 --> 01:16:20,242 -I'm a minister. -You're a minister? 890 01:16:20,409 --> 01:16:22,202 Yup. I got ordained online. 891 01:16:22,369 --> 01:16:26,248 I'm officially recognized by the International Association of Online Ministers... 892 01:16:26,415 --> 01:16:30,627 ...as the Honorable Reverend Edgar Frog, the vampire hunter. 893 01:16:30,794 --> 01:16:32,254 Did you study for that? 894 01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:35,299 No. I went to the website, filled out a couple forms... 895 01:16:35,465 --> 01:16:36,758 ...and clicked "Ordain Me." 896 01:16:36,925 --> 01:16:41,305 Now, before going into battle, there's a few things that you need to be briefed on. 897 01:16:41,471 --> 01:16:44,933 First of all, when a vampire buys it, it's never a pretty sight. 898 01:16:45,100 --> 01:16:47,144 No two bloodsuckers go out the same way. 899 01:16:47,311 --> 01:16:50,439 Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode... 900 01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:52,691 ...but all will try to take you with them. 901 01:16:52,858 --> 01:16:55,193 As far as your arsenal of vamp artillery: 902 01:16:55,360 --> 01:16:56,486 We got stakes. 903 01:16:56,653 --> 01:16:59,364 Got some wooden ones, got some metal ones... 904 01:16:59,823 --> 01:17:01,408 ...and some carbon-fibers. 905 01:17:01,575 --> 01:17:03,994 I like the resins, they're light and easy to handle. 906 01:17:04,161 --> 01:17:07,623 That said, there's nothing as good as the old-fashioned, classic wood job. 907 01:17:07,789 --> 01:17:10,042 Safe, sturdy, reliable. 908 01:17:10,208 --> 01:17:14,546 Next, we have my air-propelled-rocket grenade launcher for holy-water balloons. 909 01:17:14,713 --> 01:17:16,548 This is my baby, don't touch it. 910 01:17:16,715 --> 01:17:18,675 We also have one of these. 911 01:17:18,842 --> 01:17:21,303 -You know how to use this, right? -Yeah, totally. 912 01:17:21,470 --> 01:17:24,431 -Okay, good. -No, dude, I have no idea what that is. 913 01:17:24,598 --> 01:17:25,891 It's a garlic bolo. 914 01:17:27,309 --> 01:17:29,645 Never mind, I'll hold on to this one. 915 01:17:31,605 --> 01:17:34,232 Let's go kill some vampires. 916 01:17:58,632 --> 01:18:00,884 They know we're here. 917 01:18:26,284 --> 01:18:28,245 SHANE: Are you ready? 918 01:18:30,455 --> 01:18:33,542 NICOLE: I guess so. SHANE: You guess so? 919 01:18:36,920 --> 01:18:38,797 NICOLE: I know so. 920 01:18:45,095 --> 01:18:47,139 [MUFFLED SPEECH] 921 01:18:47,305 --> 01:18:49,224 Help me. 922 01:18:51,727 --> 01:18:53,395 Help me. 923 01:19:04,990 --> 01:19:06,742 You smell that? 924 01:19:09,202 --> 01:19:12,372 Smells like fungus or death. 925 01:19:14,082 --> 01:19:16,668 It's vampire BO. 926 01:19:51,369 --> 01:19:52,829 What? 927 01:19:54,122 --> 01:19:56,792 -What the hell are you talking about? -Just follow me. 928 01:20:10,388 --> 01:20:13,433 Nicole, help me. 929 01:20:14,559 --> 01:20:15,852 Evan. 930 01:20:20,315 --> 01:20:21,566 I can't. 931 01:20:21,983 --> 01:20:24,236 You said you were ready. 932 01:20:25,195 --> 01:20:26,863 But I know him. 933 01:20:28,740 --> 01:20:31,827 Well, he's the only thing that still stands between us, Nicole. 934 01:20:31,993 --> 01:20:34,538 The only thing that stands between you and immortality. 935 01:20:34,704 --> 01:20:37,290 lf you wanna be with me... 936 01:20:37,457 --> 01:20:38,708 ...if you love me... 937 01:20:38,875 --> 01:20:40,919 ...you'll do this. 938 01:21:03,567 --> 01:21:05,652 [CHRIS SCREAMS] 939 01:21:06,862 --> 01:21:09,197 Quiet, man, you'll wake the dead. 940 01:21:09,364 --> 01:21:10,782 Chris. 941 01:21:11,616 --> 01:21:13,118 Chris. 942 01:21:16,371 --> 01:21:17,998 Chris. 943 01:21:18,582 --> 01:21:19,791 Shit. 944 01:21:19,958 --> 01:21:23,128 What part of "stay together" don't you understand? 945 01:22:41,539 --> 01:22:43,708 I smell ugly. 946 01:22:43,875 --> 01:22:45,919 [KYLE HOOTING] 947 01:23:00,892 --> 01:23:02,060 EDGAR: Chris. 948 01:23:04,521 --> 01:23:06,147 Come on, Chris. 949 01:23:06,314 --> 01:23:07,732 KYLE: Chris isn't here, Eddie... 950 01:23:08,149 --> 01:23:09,651 ...but your brother is. 951 01:23:09,818 --> 01:23:11,736 Where are you? 952 01:23:18,451 --> 01:23:20,161 Yup, it's ugly. 953 01:23:22,205 --> 01:23:23,581 Missed. 954 01:23:29,129 --> 01:23:31,381 Pop goes the weasel. 955 01:23:56,781 --> 01:23:58,450 NICOLE: Chris. 956 01:24:00,326 --> 01:24:02,704 Stay forever. 957 01:24:02,871 --> 01:24:05,415 Live forever. 958 01:24:05,582 --> 01:24:08,460 Stay with family. 959 01:24:08,626 --> 01:24:09,878 Chris. 960 01:24:12,380 --> 01:24:13,715 SHANE: Chris. 961 01:24:14,799 --> 01:24:16,551 Welcome. 962 01:24:18,970 --> 01:24:20,263 [SCREAMS] 963 01:24:24,476 --> 01:24:27,062 [GRUNTING] 964 01:24:35,612 --> 01:24:36,654 Chris. 965 01:24:39,491 --> 01:24:43,161 I've been waiting to meet someone like you for quite some time, Chris. 966 01:24:43,328 --> 01:24:46,664 Someone that would push the boundaries, someone that would challenge me. 967 01:24:46,831 --> 01:24:49,000 -I saw that in you. NICOLE: Chris. 968 01:24:53,838 --> 01:24:56,216 I don't wanna lose my brother. 969 01:24:56,758 --> 01:24:59,094 Come on, taking in someone's essence... 970 01:24:59,260 --> 01:25:01,346 ...consuming living human blood... 971 01:25:01,513 --> 01:25:03,681 ...that's the real rush. 972 01:25:15,485 --> 01:25:16,528 NICOLE: No! 973 01:25:16,694 --> 01:25:17,779 Shane! 974 01:25:21,950 --> 01:25:23,868 No. Shane. Stop. 975 01:25:24,035 --> 01:25:26,996 You're killing him. Shane! 976 01:25:28,873 --> 01:25:30,375 No! 977 01:25:41,594 --> 01:25:42,846 SHANE: Nicole. 978 01:25:43,012 --> 01:25:44,848 Why? 979 01:25:45,014 --> 01:25:46,724 He's family, asshole. 980 01:25:49,060 --> 01:25:50,895 Shane. 981 01:25:53,815 --> 01:25:54,858 Shane, stop. 982 01:25:57,068 --> 01:25:58,945 [SCREAMING] 983 01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:14,002 SHANE: Nicole. 984 01:26:16,546 --> 01:26:18,256 Nicole. 985 01:26:18,423 --> 01:26:20,758 Nicole. 986 01:26:21,301 --> 01:26:23,261 Nicole. 987 01:26:37,483 --> 01:26:39,777 EDGAR: Build a man a fire... 988 01:26:40,403 --> 01:26:42,447 ...and he's warm for a day. 989 01:26:43,656 --> 01:26:46,117 Light a man on fire... 990 01:26:47,160 --> 01:26:50,079 ...and he's warm for the rest of his life. 991 01:27:02,467 --> 01:27:05,595 You'll be getting a bill for my services. 992 01:27:37,669 --> 01:27:41,089 -Thanks, Eddie. -Hey, it's what I do. 993 01:27:42,799 --> 01:27:44,342 And it's Edgar. 994 01:27:53,768 --> 01:27:55,270 Hey, is it--? 995 01:27:55,436 --> 01:27:57,313 Is it cool if I call you sometime? 996 01:27:57,480 --> 01:27:59,482 Uh.... 997 01:28:00,024 --> 01:28:01,693 Okay. 998 01:28:03,027 --> 01:28:04,570 Yes! 999 01:28:13,913 --> 01:28:15,623 Whoo-hoo! 1000 01:28:54,120 --> 01:28:56,914 This is completely unacceptable. 1001 01:28:57,790 --> 01:29:00,126 I know exactly what you've been up to. 1002 01:29:00,293 --> 01:29:03,755 I am telling you, it has to stop right now. 1003 01:29:03,921 --> 01:29:08,051 I will not stand by and watch two young people that I care about... 1004 01:29:08,217 --> 01:29:10,345 ...fall into this trap, you hear me? 1005 01:29:14,182 --> 01:29:18,519 So if I so much as see one seed... 1006 01:29:18,978 --> 01:29:21,814 ...or catch one whiff of reefer-- 1007 01:29:21,981 --> 01:29:24,692 And believe me, I know what it smells like. 1008 01:29:24,859 --> 01:29:26,235 --I'm calling the cops. 1009 01:29:26,402 --> 01:29:31,574 No warning. We are talking zero tolerance, you got that? 1010 01:29:32,450 --> 01:29:35,661 End of discussion. 1011 01:30:30,675 --> 01:30:32,802 EDGAR: Cut the theatrics. 1012 01:30:33,678 --> 01:30:35,847 I know you're out there. 1013 01:30:36,013 --> 01:30:37,348 Show yourself. 1014 01:30:42,603 --> 01:30:44,689 That's a good way to get yourself staked, Sam. 1015 01:30:44,856 --> 01:30:46,858 MAN: Easy there, compadre. 1016 01:30:47,024 --> 01:30:49,026 After all the shit that you pulled? 1017 01:30:49,193 --> 01:30:54,157 I think you can at least hear me out. I mean, I feel like you owe me that. 1018 01:30:54,323 --> 01:30:57,368 You really expect me to act like nothing ever happened? 1019 01:30:57,535 --> 01:30:59,454 MAN: No, I've already forgiven you. 1020 01:30:59,620 --> 01:31:01,956 It's water under the bridge. 1021 01:31:02,457 --> 01:31:04,083 EDGAR: Stay there. 1022 01:31:04,250 --> 01:31:08,212 -You don't want it to go down like this. -Oh, it's going down like this. 1023 01:31:08,379 --> 01:31:09,714 I'm warning you. 1024 01:31:09,881 --> 01:31:11,507 Hey, I'm trembling. 1025 01:31:11,674 --> 01:31:13,509 [BOTH YELL]