Willie Grimes reprimanded and ready for the...
Go on, get out of it.
I thought I'd remain sober for the day.
Oh, that's sharp.
That's a very close shave, indeed.
I've changed my mind.
I'll be off, then.
I've an appointment with Oswald Mitchells.
I've changed my mind.
Little buggers.
You bastards.
Serve that blade up, mate.
I don't think it's quite my size.
It's a little tight around the neck.
Lop his bleedin' head off.
I'll see you in hell, you bollocks.
Fuck you, Grimes.
As for you.
In the basket.
Father.
Thank God.
Ow!
I didn't do anything.
Get me out of this thing.
Mr. Blake.
Mr. Arthur Blake.
Yes.
Body snatching.
Hmm.
It is my duty to write, for the purpose of announcement
and later for printing, your final words.
Eh, so that others drawn to the wayside may, uh...
take heed in your cries of guilt and pleas for forgiveness.
It is also my duty to inform you
that you are to be executed by way of, uh...
beheading.
For a lifetime spent in the despicable pursuit
of grave robbing and murder...
Well, all this really means is that you're a dead man,
and I'm here to make you say sorry.
You'd be after my gallows speech, then.
By hook or by crook.
Did you get a speech out of old Willie
before they chopped off his head?
It would have been nice to have a chat with your friend,
maybe extrapolate a story or two from him,
but, well, sadly, that was not to be.
Do you have anything to say for yourself before they, uh...
Well, I suppose you wouldn't believe me
if I told you I was innocent.
Innocent?
Of murder, that is.
The despicable grave robbing part sounds about right.
Well, that's a new one.
Why don't I have a chat with the executioner
and may... maybe get you a pardon, like?
All I know is this.
I woke up in the morning, the coppers were at my door.
And get this.
They followed a fresh trail of body parts
that led all the way from the station to my house.
As if I'd be that stupid.
The same thing happened to Willie.
Fresh trail of body parts that led all the way
from the station to his doorstep.
And then they called us murderers.
Bollocks.
We were set up.
Not a murderer, then.
Nope.
- Grave robber? - Yep.
Bloody good one too.
Would you mind shining a light
on what it was that made you so exceptional?
I'm not sure I want to go down that road, Father.
You know, when I look back on it now, it seems...
Well, I'm not sure you would believe a word of it.
Besides, I have a terrible memory.
Eh, you'd be surprised what a man of the cloth might believe.
You think this might help with your memory?
It... it might.
Here's to the late, great Willie Grimes.
Oh, you'll be seeing him very soon, Mr. Blake, very soon.
Aye, that I will.
I suppose we have some time to kill, Father?
Eh, Francis Duffy.
Father Francis Duffy.
And you have exactly five hours to kill.
I'll tell you what, Father.
You keep this whiskey here flowing,
we'll have ourselves a little chat.
Well, that's a fair trade then.
So tell me,
how did you start out in your life of crime?
Well, I suppose I'd have to go back a bit,
back to when I first met Willie.
Willie got me into the trade.
I was his apprentice.
You see, it was body snatching or the streets for me
and my ma, my little brother.
Are you frightened?
Of course you is.
I remember the first job I pulled.
Nearly shit myself, didn't I?
With me old man it was.
Miserable bastard.
So what brought you down to the Fortune of War, then?
My mom told me to go there and talk to Ronnie.
When I got there, he gave me an ale
and said I was gonna meet you here tonight.
You might keep me on.
Who's your Ma, then?
Mary Blake.
She works down at the food lane.
Selling things.
Ah, things.
If I can get a job,
she says she could stay home with me little brother.
He's only a baby.
Fucking single grave, isn't it?
Now, you watch old Willie and see how the job gets done.
You want that hole narrow.
Don't make it too wide neither.
Now, what I want for you is to get down there
and smack a hole in the lid of that box.
The coffin?
Yeah, the coffin.
Come on now, boy, get on with it.
You done yet?
Me hands are bleeding.
Oh, give it some.
Don't stop till you hack through it.
I'm going to be sick.
Now stomp on the lid a bit so's you can reach in.
What you want to do is, you take this rope,
tie it round to whatever it is that's down there.
Good lad.
All right, now get out of it while I take a butchers.
Wow, that's some tight hold on that.
Give us a hand with this shroud.
See, that's the one thing we don't take.
You could be done for nicking that.
You don't know her, do ya?
Well, do ya?
It was Mrs. Tulley.
She lives around from me Ma.
Well, not anymore she doesn't.
You'll be wanting a stronger stomach
if you're gonna get into this line of business, you would.
Which way now?
Here, boy.
You deserve a drink.
What is it?
It's good stuff...
and you've earned it.
Now take some.
Oop.
Get that for me, will you?
I found it.
Why did he not strike you down?
He didn't have the heart, Father.
Like I said, Willie wasn't a murderer.
You know, underneath all that dirt and grime,
you'll find more dirt and grime,
and then underneath all that,
you'll find that Willie has a heart of gold.
Had, Mr. Blake.
Had a heart of gold.
Your friend is no longer with us.
Oh, yeah, had a heart of gold.
Mm-hmm.
So he took me on as his apprentice,
and for better or worse,
that was the start of my life of crime.
And how long did you remain under his employ?
On and off over the years.
Sometimes I employed him.
Mainly though we were under the thumb of one Dr. Vernon Quint.
Quint.
Yeah, he was a fiend.
Had Willie and I slaving for years,
blackmailing us with the law if we didn't deliver the goods.
And he had you ransacking the graveyards for him, eh?
Were you free to snatch as you pleased?
Not really.
I mean, the coppers could be bought off from time to time,
but the relatives, they were out for blood.
We had to think on our feet, look elsewhere for corpses.
Go on, give her a little poke.
She had a wooden leg, hollow in the middle.
She used to tie it with a string and play it like a fiddle.
She'd fiddle in the hall; she'd fiddle in the alleyway.
She didn't give a damn, for she had to fiddle anyway.
Here you go lads, get them into you.
Oh, yeah, very good.
Thanks, Maisey, here's to Kathleen.
Lord have mercy on her soul.
A hard life.
Some would say she's off to a better place.
Hard life?
Hard living more like.
Ah, but look at the beautiful corpse she left behind.
It was the pleurisy got her in the end.
Expecting many guests, Maisey?
No, she didn't leave many friends behind her, Tommy,
and we couldn't afford the O'Casey mourners.
Terribly expensive.
Oh.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Maybe I spoke too soon.
Friends indeed.
You're only here for the drink.
Feck off, you.
She was an awful woman.
An old whore, if you ask me.
Now, lads, this is Arthur.
Kathleen's sister's son.
Oh.
She was a lovely woman, son.
A terrible day, son.
Me ma sends her love.
Would you like a cup of tea, dear?
Can I see me auntie?
Go ahead, son.
Sure she's only just asleep.
Asleep with the Lord.
Dead.
She's dead, son.
Dead.
Ah, there now, son, save your tears.
Sure she's at rest now.
Oh, there, there.
I'll make you a nice cup of tea.
Sure I'll have one if there is one going, Maisey.
There's that cake too, Maisey.
Go on, go on, son.
Let it out of you.
Can I have a minute alone with her...
to say good-bye?
I want to whisper her a prayer.
So she'll get to the Lord sooner.
Come on.
Let... let's leave the boy alone with his aunt.
You two can help me in the pantry.
We'll fix you a nice cup of tea, son.
I'll only be a minute.
Open the door, son.
I think he's locked us in.
The little bastard's snuffin' her.
Willie.
They're on to me!
Come on, toss it down.
You feckin' little bastard.
I wring your bloody neck when I get a hold of ya.
I'll box your ears in when I get you,
do you hear me?
You little toe rag.
Get back here.
Ha ha.
I'm very proud of you, lad.
Willie, I think it's time we talk about my salary.
Oh, what about it?
Well, I think it's time I had one.
Ha!
We'll take that sentiment down to the pub.
Arthur Blake.
When will you be making an honest woman out of me, then?
Ah, go on, you old brasser.
You come back with your earnings,
and I'll show you a brasser.
Willie.
I think it's time we talk about my salary, now.
Oh, shut up.
It's not even a full moon.
You'll have the mick brigade after yous now.
After who?
Nobody saw me, Ronnie.
It was all the young blackguard's doing.
Yeah well, there'd be no Burke
without the little Hare over here.
You two are getting a reputation.
You need to lie low for a while.
Oh, we had to do it.
That ornament Dr. Quint had us between a rock and a hard place.
And now we can't get near the cemeteries no more.
He's threatening the law if we don't keep up deliveries.
He's got you by the bollocks, then.
Bastard.
I'll drink to the end of him.
You know, I hear he plays each corpse a tune on his fiddle
before he gets stuck in.
Enough of Quint.
Sever all ties, that's what I say.
Speak of the devil.
Evening, doctor.
Gentlemen.
A port, Ronnie, and two ales for my friends.
It's very kind of you, boss.
That's what friends are for, Willie.
Wonderful catch last night, boys.
But I must admit I am curious
as to why it was such a fresh and clean specimen.
Ah, well, nothing too untoward boss,
snatched it from a wake, so we did.
One must be creative in these times.
Advancing medicine is what you two are doing.
History will be very kind, gentlemen.
As will I.
But I am afraid this is not a social visit.
My practice is in dire need, gentlemen.
Ah.
Well, the thing is,
things have been a bit slow lately, boss.
What kind of weak fool are you?
There's a perfect specimen standing right beside you.
He helps me out.
He's earned his keep in this world.
I need more corpses, and I need them now.
I don't care where they come from,
and if you two can't get them for me,
I'll hire Murphy and his men,
and I'll have two fresh corpses on my table
by the end of the week.
Swine.
He'll be the death of us.
Stiffed us with the bill too.
I have filth on you two,
enough to see you hanged, drawn, and quartered.
I need them fresher.
Get rid of this stale thing
and bring me something worthwhile.
I need more corpses, more corpses.
I need more corpses.
The stink of that corpse is almost as foul
as the two of you.
Get me fresh specimens immediately,
or there will be trouble.
That's how it was for years.
Slaving away for Quint, making sure he was happy.
Meanwhile, we weren't making a penny.
On the bread line, we were.
A hard slog.
One job though, one job changed all that.
One job turned us from body snatchers into ghouls.
Ghouls?
Ghouls.
A body snatcher will steal the dead,
but a ghoul will steal just about anything, dead or other.
Time was when a corpse didn't do much,
just laid there.
Not so anymore.
Well, I mean, surely to God,
a corpse is a corpse is a corpse.
What harm is one to anyone?
Plenty, if it has a good mind to.
I see.
No, you don't.
I think I do.
Father, if I've learned anything over the years,
it's that you never, ever trust a corpse.
I had hoped to be hearing these tales today.
When I first heard that the snatchers Grimes and Blake
had been reprimanded, I rushed here to meet with you.
You've heard of us, then?
Oh, your reputation precedes you
in certain circles.
Occult circles.
You have some knowledge of the occult, then.
Things that go...
In the night, yes.
Yes.
When I first heard the stories,
I thought they were the stuff of nonsense.
But lately I've come to accept them,
and I actively pursue the tellers.
Unfortunately, my time with them is brief.
In fact, you'd be dead right now if it wasn't for me.
Is that so?
Oh, yeah.
I paid the executioner for our time together.
Is this the first time you've paid someone
to be alone with a man, Father?
You're not looking too funny right now Mr. Blake.
Willie Grimes.
Willie Grimes introduced you
to the underbelly of the resurrection trade.
Well, not so much as introduced me,
more as stumbled upon it with me.
Ronnie put us onto this job.
Out on the moors, it was,
right in the middle of nowhere.
Took us ages to find it.
But it was worth the effort.
Right, it's ready.
You can unearth the thing.
I'm wrecked.
You're getting old.
I'm getting hungry.
Me too.
I hate this.
Backbreaking work, and all we ever are is famished.
And broke.
If that rotten bastard Quint was a little less miserable,
things might be different.
We should do him in.
Ah, he's too well connected.
Besides, that's a mug's game.
Still, I'm hungry enough,
I could eat that corpse over there.
What you got there?
Sandwich.
A what which?
Sandwich.
It's food.
Food.
Two lumps of bread with something in the middle.
It's genius.
Ah, it's queer.
No, it's all right.
You can put anything inside.
What's in it?
Uh, looks like...
Like?
Looks like it tastes better than it looks.
How did you afford one?
- I nicked it. - Arthur.
What?
I'll pay them back when I'm flush.
I fancy a bite.
Give it here.
I'll tell you what.
I'll share it with you for a few glugs of your whiskey.
Done.
Bloody hell.
You were hungry.
You're not having any of mine.
What I don't get is why they buried a corpse
outside of a graveyard.
Suicide most likely.
Idiot clergy probably excommunicated them,
so there was nowhere else to bury them.
Why at a crossroads?
Gob shite superstition.
So's if the spirit rises,
it'll not know which way is which
and wander about the place lost.
Which way is which.
Which sandwich is which.
Boy, get at it, come on.
All right, you moody so and so.
Willie?
What?
Look at this.
What, we don't know her, do we?
Oh, that's odd.
Look at its eyes.
Maybe we should just leave it.
No.
Have that bastard Quint on our tails?
It's a perfectly good piece.
What's that around her neck?
That's... that's garlic.
Ronnie's got that stuff all over the Fortune of War.
Keep things away from the place.
Garlic?
It's stinky.
Don't do that.
That's there for a reason.
Gob shite superstition, Willie.
Who would do a thing like that?
I don't know, but I'm glad they did.
This piece will put us in good standing with Quint.
Pull it out.
No way, mate.
I dare you.
No way, I say.
You're out of your head.
Help me.
Come on, help me.
Come on.
Let's get the corpse in the cart.
Oh, look at this mess.
What we need is a new cart, Arthur.
Something roomy.
How are we even gonna fit the corpse in there?
Willie.
Let's get the hell out of here.
Maybe she wasn't dead.
Not exactly alive neither.
Un...
Dead.
Bollocks, shite.
What do you like, Grimes?
What do you like?
Hey, do you hear that?
No, I do not.
Willie.
Arthur.
Willie.
Missus?
You all right?
I think it's gone.
Why did you have to hit me?
It was all on you.
What else was I suppose to do?
Ow.
Look.
Ah, you're bleeding.
You keep away from me.
You might be inflicted.
Oh, shut up.
What time is it, huh?
How should I know?
I think it's getting lighter.
Yeah.
I think it might be gone.
Can we go then?
Yeah, I think so.
Willie!
That was mad.
Get back, get back.
What?
Get back, Arthur.
What are you doing?
- Watch this. - What are you doing?
Oy, you mad bastard, come on let's go.
Leave it.
Don't do that.
Don't, you mad bastard, don't do that, don't.
Come on, let's go, Willie.
Let's go; I wanna go.
I've got an idea.
Thank you for your sacrifice, my child.
After that job, we were never bothered by Quint again,
and we struck gold with the undead.
We realized that people would pay ten times as much
for your more unusual corpse.
And the jobs kept finding us.
It was as if we opened the door to another world
and got a sniff of it,
or it got a sniff of us.
Came across a whole many of things after that.
So trafficking the undead was more lucrative, eh?
Absolutely.
That's where the real money was.
That's how it was for a while for me and old Willie Grimes,
making good money snatching all sorts of things dead, undead.
And, uh, who paid you?
A select few.
Those who realize the potential.
Of course, it didn't always go according to plan.
There were times when we'd go to the trouble of unearthing things
only to have them stolen from us.
Snatched by a rival gang.
Sometimes at knifepoint.
Rival gangs.
Right bunch of conniving swines they were.
You see, Willie and I,
we were more your kind of happy-go-lucky types.
But, you know, some people took things
a little bit more seriously.
Some of them were real creeps.
Such as?
We had run-ins with a crowd of lunatics
called the House of Murphy.
Ah, the famed House of Murphy.
I've heard many stories about Cornelius Murphy and his gang.
Hated us they did.
You see, we'd like to get in and out the yards unnoticed.
But they would make this big song and dance out of it.
He made us look like a right bunch of amateurs.
You have any recent encounters with the House of Murphy?
Yeah, unfortunately, yes.
But let me tell you about this one time.
Strangest job I ever pulled.
It was most bloody peculiar.
You know, if you were to drop down dead right now,
I would sling you in that cart and call it a night.
You wouldn't get a penny for my whisky-logged corpse.
Hey, if I croak before you do, feel free to make a penny.
I won't hear of it.
It's not proper.
Would you really try to sell me off?
I might.
The bloody cheek.
Do you like my new cart?
It's quality.
Very modern.
Thought I might do a bit of shite shoveling with it.
You know, running after the horses,
collecting their shite to sell for compost.
Well, it's good money, and it's legal.
Hugo Fortune got me onto it.
Mind you, I haven't bothered yet.
Are you interested?
I could loan you out the cart.
No chance.
So what did Ronnie say about this piece, then?
He said there's a corpse out here
that not only won't jump up and try to kill us,
it'll fetch us a small fortune as well.
That's a bit curious, isn't it?
Bollocks.
Oh, fuck you, Grimes.
"Quality," what a piece of shite.
Get the shovels.
It's frozen.
What?
The ground.
It's frozen.
That's gonna take all night to dig out.
Why is it frozen?
Nowhere else is.
Well, if whatever it is that's down there is frozen,
then I'm a happy man.
'Cause if it's frozen,
it won't be jumping about the place
trying to murder us.
I suppose.
It's a bit unusual.
Ah, yes, Arthur, it's curious.
All right, I'll start it.
You can finish it.
Bugger.
Ah.
Looks like a child's coffin.
Do they want the box and all?
Yeah, they said not to even try to open it.
I'm not carrying that thing back.
It's freezing.
Well, we should smash it open.
Oh, fetch more if we don't.
Ow.
Oh, that hurt.
Hey, give us your knife.
If I can wedge this in.
I'm telling you, be careful.
Ow, ow, my fingers, freezing over.
Let's just kick it back.
No, no, no, let's wrap it and carry it.
Wrap it with what?
Ah, it's heavy.
That's no child in there.
It's heavy.
Look at that.
What do you reckon that is?
Don't know.
Never seen anything like it.
It's not moving, is it?
No.
Could be from Dotsie's,
you know, the circus?
Could be a little freak from Dotsie's.
I don't think so.
I don't think that thing is from anywhere near Dotsie's.
Look at the size of its head.
Well, be easier to move now.
It's not as cold as it was in the box.
All right. All right.
Let's get out of here.
Come on.
Good evening to you, gentlemen.
Now, if you don't mind terribly,
you'll be dropping that corpse off for me now.
Willie, do you know this asshole?
Cornelius, don't mind the young fellow.
He's a little fresh around the ears.
Hand that there over now, boy.
Arthur meet Cornelius Murphy.
Now, be a pet and hand him over the whatsit.
Having a laugh, aren't you?
I'd listen to your boss if you want to live past tonight.
That's a good lad.
Now pass it along.
Don't be stupid, Arthur.
Do as the gentleman says.
I'll explain later.
On the ground there.
Do it.
Afraid I can't do that.
You see, this took us a few hours to dig up.
Now that we've got it, I don't want to give it back.
Drop it and live.
Drop the corpse.
What?
Oh, my head.
I admire your pluck, lad.
When you're through fumblin' about cemeteries with this fool,
come and call on the House of Murphy.
Somebody snatched our snatchins.
I think I'm in the wrong line of business.
I'm all light-headed.
How did they manage it?
Hey, who did you say that was again?
That was Cornelius Murphy, and you're lucky to be alive.
I think he just offered me a job.
What and leave a good thing like this?
No.
He seemed a little bit too intense to me.
So Fortune of War?
Oh, aye.
I'm flat broke though.
Yeah, me too.
I got this new bird, though.
She might have a couple of quid.
Ah, good for you, son.
Some jobs were harder than others.
We went hungry at times,
but mainly we made off with whatever we snatched.
But you, uh...
you took him up on his offer, Murphy.
No.
But I considered it.
There were no flies on him,
and if there were, they were paying rent.
But you crossed paths again?
Oh, aye.
Well, Willie and I had it in for the snobs.
They thought they were better than us.
When was... when was the last time you crossed paths?
Not too long ago, but here.
Let me tell you about the time I teamed up with The Whistler.
Hoo.
Uh, Mr. Blake.
He was a slippery bollocks.
What about The Wrinkler?
I have a million stories.
I knew all the snatchers. - Mr. Blake!
If we had the time,
I'd love to hear all your lovely stories,
but time is of the essence.
Now I would like to hear about the House of Murphy.
Why?
They're a gang of assholes.
I'm bored talking about them.
Got what they deserved.
What did they get?
Eh?
Look.
I would love to finish my chapter on the House of Murphy.
Now, tell me about Cornelius.
Fair enough.
Let me see.
Mad bastard from a long line of mad bastards,
not much of a sense of humor,
believed to be in league with Lucifer.
Was he now?
And what about his gang?
Well, old Cornelius and his gang
had a knack for snatching the undead.
They took it very personally.
It's a family business with them.
His father was the real mastermind,
had Cornelius and his gang doing all his dirty work,
supposed to be a right evil bastard.
Anyway, Willie and I were told to stay clear of them,
and we did mainly.
That's how it was for years.
We kept our head above water.
Ronnie helped us out by keeping his ear to the ground.
We even took on an apprentice, Fanny Bryers.
One point, she was a wrecker.
A wrecker?
Oh, she would lure ships onto the rocks
and scavenge the wreckage.
But she got bored of that
and had aspirations of being a snatcher.
Fanny Bryers, hmm.
Lovely, lovely Fanny Bryers.
Lovely.
Did you here that, Willie?
Arthur says I'm lovely.
Well, he must be drunk, you boozy old slapper.
Oh, shove off, you.
I am lovely.
You are lovely.
You are.
Don't you even listen to him.
Oh!
You should be ashamed of your selves.
Here it is.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's mine.
Ready? Ready?
Are you ready, Mr. Grimes?
Right, wait a minute.
When I finish this pint,
I'm gonna put the empty glass on me head,
and that's when you two go for it.
Right, then?
Okay, here we go.
It's very sexy.
It's a bleedin' draw.
Robbed I was.
I was robbed.
Ha!
I'm catching up with you, old man.
I was robbed of that.
Come here.
You'll have him the next time, Arthur.
Yeah, I will.
I'll have you next time.
Can you two talk business?
Sober as a judge, mate.
You remember Maisey O'Connell?
I'll box your ears in when I get you.
Do you hear me?
A friend of the family.
Is she still not talking to you?
No.
Neither is me family.
She's in here the other night.
She's got a new job working at the old mortuary,
you know, the place that handles
a lot of the old walking stiff trade.
It's her first night on the job,
and no one had told her about their more unusual shipments.
What did she come across?
Well, she wouldn't say,
so I filled the aul wan so full of booze she couldn't walk.
I called her a carriage.
I closed the place down.
There's no love nor money
could drag me back to that place ever again.
Yes, dear.
Get in.
And me with me nerves.
So terrified she was with what she saw,
she insists I ride with her.
You had a bad day, Maisey?
What was that?
A... a bad day, Maisey.
Ah.
Lantern Jesus, for a moment there
I thought I dreamt up the whole thing.
Oh, I never want to go back to that place again.
You sure you might not feel different in the morning?
It's off to the house of the Lord in the morning.
'Twas pure and simple evil I met up with.
Was it something hideous and awful?
You can talk to me, Maisey.
I'm a good listener.
What did you see today?
The living dead.
Bingo.
Lovely.
Yeah, the woman was mortified,
said she was expecting a shipment that morning.
Shipment was to arrive by boat, but the boat crashed,
somewhere off of Langols Island.
Only one of three boxes was recovered.
What was in the box?
Took me ages to prize open the box.
And I'm only an old woman,
and there was nobody else about.
Ah, but you got it open.
Oh, I opened it, all right.
Brilliant.
That's very funny, Ronnie.
Yous two are terrible.
The poor woman.
So how'd she get away, Ron?
Oh, it had the grip on me.
'Twas the unholy grasp of Satan.
I looked into its dead, black eyes,
and I could see meself screaming back at meself.
Oh, I thought I was dead for sure.
Jesus, Maisey, you're lucky to be alive.
It was horrible,
the pale, spidery thing.
If it hadn't been for my cross and chain,
he would have had me guts for garters.
A cross, eh?
A good thing in all the rest never arrived.
Expecting two more we were,
but word has it they got lost at sea.
And now they tell me they got washed up on Langols Island
and have to be retrieved.
Well, I want nothing more to do with it.
It seems a few "surgeons" believe these things
may be the key to immortality.
That's why they're so desperate
to get their hands on these corpses.
Immortality?
Well, who's off to Langols Island, then?
Who's with old Willie?
Easy pickings.
Nice little earner, boys.
We'll need a what you may call it,
a crustafix.
A crucifix, love.
Yeah, well, there's just one problem, boys and girls.
Ah, no worries, Ronnie.
Name your percentage.
Yeah, well, it is a tiny little slice,
but that's not the problem.
They've, uh, hired somebody to help them pick up the pieces.
Who?
It seems the mortuary has called on the House of Murphy
to help them out.
That's that, then.
Bollocks.
What's the House of Murphy?
Not what, who.
It's a vicious gang of body snatchers
that I don't want to cross.
We'd be fools to try, Willie.
Now, they can't be all that bad.
Let me tell you something about the House of Murphy.
First of all, there's the big wig himself,
Samuel Murphy, Sam the Spider.
Keeps himself well out of sight.
They call him the Spider
because he likes to play with his victims for hours
before killing them.
They say once he's ready to kill,
he uses a three-clawed hook to gauge out the eyes
and the tongues of his victims.
Then there's his son, Cornelius Murphy.
One of the meanest bastards I've ever met, alive or dead.
Rumor has it he's a corpse grinder,
grinds the bones from the coffins he's nicked
and sniffs them.
He can smell out the dead before they're even cold.
Valentine Kelly, Murphy's right-hand man,
so to speak.
They say she got her name
after she was almost burned to death
by a lover on Valentine's Day.
Her face is so twisted and deformed
that she keeps it hidden except for those she's about to kill.
Then there's the Bulger.
You couldn't find a more loyal servant.
Murphy saved him from being beaten to death once.
Left with no teeth,
Murphy had a dentist of sorts graft dog teeth onto his gums.
Bulger owes him everything.
You're all cowards.
There's money to be made in Langols Island.
That's enough to keep us all happy and lovely
for a really long time.
You lot are telling me you're afraid.
In a word, yes.
Yes.
Yeah, looks like it.
This lot can't be any worse than what's in those boxes.
Fanny, forget it.
I'm sticking to the cemeteries.
Lads.
Remember, you are our apprentice,
not our partner.
You got to reign it in a little, love.
Thanks, Ronnie, but no thanks.
Yeah, well, maybe it's for the best.
Just thought I'd give you lads a heads-up.
Murphy and his lot,
they won't be on the island till tomorrow morning.
There'll be other jobs, Fanny.
When?
There won't be other jobs like this one.
If we're afraid of crossin' a few knackers
like this Murphy's lot.
This one could've set us up for a while,
gave us enough money to enjoy life,
take me down to the Sinister Duck once in a while,
live it up,
instead of going to that old kip every night of the week.
What about our dream of doing better for ourselves?
You be careful of dreams, Fanny.
They'll lead you down a garden path
and into a ditch before you know it.
The Fortune of War,
filled with people who followed their dreams.
Look what they got to.
Willie's right,
keep chipping away at the smaller jobs,
everything else will fall into place.
Willie Grimes.
What about him?
If you had any backbone, you'd be out on your own
instead of letting that old drunk lean on you.
He's a drunken old coward, and he's dragging you down.
That's not fair.
Willie and I go back a long way.
You'd be on that island if you weren't listening to his fears.
We could be on and off before anyone else.
There'd be no trouble.
It'll end badly,
and it'll end with a lot of blood.
You don't know what these people are like.
This is your first job.
Took me years to get it down.
Willie's right.
You have to earn your keep
before you tackle a big job like this.
If we're gonna make it anywhere in this world,
we got to stand up for ourselves.
This Cornelius and his dad can't be all that bad.
No one's that mean.
When Cornelius was five,
his mother gave him one of them clockwork toys.
He loved it.
He was always playing with it, always winding it up.
His father stomped on it.
He just crushed it.
Then there was the time when little Cornelius
found a baby chick.
Called it Pappy, fed it,
you know, took a shine to it.
His dad crushed the life out of it.
Poor little Pappy,
all spread out on the floor like that.
Then his mother buys him a rabbit.
This time Cornelius is determined
not to let his old man harm the animal.
At age five, he strangles it and partially devours it,
just so his old man can't get to it.
He's a born and bred merciless killer
trained not to care about life or death.
It's a different league.
Feck this.
I'm off to Langols Island.
I can take care of meself.
And if you and that poxy Willie Grimes are too scared,
then I'll see you down at the pub later.
You can't go on your own.
Well, then get up out of bed and come with me.
We need this job, Arthur.
I'm sick of being broke.
There's good money coming to us, Fanny.
There'll be no trouble.
Please, Arthur.
We can do this.
What are you doing?
I'll make it worth your while.
It'll end badly.
Fanny?
Arthur.
Fanny.
Forget it.
There's no way I'm going to the island,
and that's the last word of it.
Must be out of our bleeding minds,
out here at this hour of the night.
Letting a woman tell you what to do.
Yeah, well, you'll be thanking me tonight
when we've made a killing off of this lot.
A killing.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Oh, shut up, Willie.
We're out here now.
We may as well make the most of it.
I can't see a thing in this fog.
How far is the island?
Ought to be there by morning if we don't hit rocks or worse.
Worse?
There are things swimming around in this sea
that you don't want to come across.
Have you been out here before?
No.
Only ever heard the stories.
Me da used to go fishing out here.
Yeah, my little brother and I
used to watch him from the summit.
That's a really nice memory, Arthur.
There was this one time
he was coming back in to land.
The water all around him started bubbling up,
and then we saw it.
A black mist it was, surrounding my old man's boat.
Something hidden inside sucked him down to a watery grave.
Yes, that's a... that's a lovely memory, Arthur.
Ah, he was all right, he was.
Never laid a hand on us neither.
A hard worker too.
Bloody fool to be fishing in these waters.
True.
So we have a few hours on Murphy and his men, right?
Ronnie said they wouldn't be here by morning.
Get the crates, get the hell out of there.
No trouble, right, Willie?
That's fine by me.
Did you bring your crucifix?
Of course.
Whoopsie daisey.
Did you hear that?
Aye.
What was it?
Arthur's old fella coming back to give him a clatter.
There's worse things out here than running into my old dad.
I hate these waters.
It's eerie.
I suggest we keep our mouths closed from here on in.
Wake me up when we get there.
Must be out of our bleeding minds.
Excuse me.
Could you keep the noise down, please?
Or I'll cut your bleeding head off.
What are we gonna do now?
No killing, you said, no trouble.
We was gonna knock him out with this.
And have him get up and kill us?
You must be daft.
You have no idea what you've just done.
They've cornered the market for too long.
This is our time.
We're going to be rich.
You stupid cow.
Willie, just get the crates side by side.
Just do it now.
Listen, you,
I've done foolish things in my life,
but I have never put anyone in harm's way to make a profit.
And what you've done here...
You.
We go now, with her or without her.
We may as well get what we came here for.
Arthur, have you lost your balls?
No, but look, it's right here.
Listen, if we go now, we can still go unnoticed.
Yeah, and empty-handed.
You don't get it at all, do you?
If we stay here, we're as good as dead.
He wasn't so hard, was he?
Come on.
We don't have all day.
Not everyone is the boss of me.
Hey, come on.
Let's just get it over with.
Willie.
Willie!
What now?
Get the yokes out of the crate and into the cage.
I suppose they're just gonna line up
and waltz in there of their own accord.
Hey, look at this.
What are we supposed to do with that?
Put it in their mouths.
Stop 'em from biting us.
Look, we'll open up the crates.
When they jump out, we'll shove this in their mouth.
Put 'em in the cage.
We'll fill up the cage, anchor the cage to the boat,
drag 'em back to the mainland.
Won't they drown?
Come on, boys.
There's nothing to worry about.
You got it?
Ready? Careful.
All right.
What's happening?
It's horrible.
Arthur?
There's a foot in here.
Very bloody odd.
A foot.
That's not gonna fetch much at market,
is it Willie?
A foot?
Bloody hell.
Hmm.
Hmph.
Get it off me!
Darling.
I got it!
Get him off me!
Get him still!
You okay?
What's it bloody well look like?
What the bleeding hell are you laughing at?
That thing nearly killed me.
It called you darling, did you hear that?
I think you've got a new friend there, Willie.
What if I got infected?
What if I'm... what if I'm infected?
What if I turn into one of those things?
Come on, calm down.
It's just... let's have a look.
Looky there.
Oh, go on, laugh it up.
Well, you know, it's pretty...
One, two, three, four, and five.
I reckon that's five dead I'm selling tonight.
Go on, get out of it.
I blame all of this on you, Arthur.
Me?
No one dragged you here.
You and that Fanny have ruined me.
That bite has me all peculiar.
Don't bring poor old Fanny into it.
What are we gonna do now?
I have a backup plan.
No.
Ha.
Bugger this.
Excuse me, Mr. Murphy.
Perhaps we can come to some sort of arrangement?
I like the arrangement we have now, Arthur Blake.
You tied to that cage,
as I strap it to me boat and drag you along the seabed
for the journey home.
I just thought you might need an extra man
now that you're down Mr. Bulger and all.
I'd rather sell your wet corpse.
Arthur, you weasel.
Just go along with me.
A rat leaving a sinking ship, is it?
That's the one.
Very honorable.
Now, where was the honor in trying to rob me of me loot
and going and killing my good mate Bulger?
Oh, well, it wasn't really the intention, you see, Cornelius.
We was just trying to make a few quid is all.
Tell me, Mr. Blake, do you like your trade?
I suppose so.
It's a bit messy, isn't it?
Well, let me tell you.
I love this trade, Mr. Blake.
And I come from a very long line of ghouls.
So you see, I take a great deal of pride in what I do.
So when a sleveen like yourself comes along
and thinks he can cross me,
well, then,
that's when I get angry, Mr. Blake.
And Grimes...
you should have known better.
Whoa, now, Cornelius, don't be like that.
I was just along for the salt air.
Valentine.
Why don't you show 'em your face.
Oh, Willie!
Willie! Willie!
Let's go, let's go.
Are you two gonna kiss and make up?
'Cause I don't want a ruckus in here,
not before midnight.
What're you looking at?
You was gonna turn your back on old Willie.
No, I was just saying that.
I had a plan.
A plan.
You was all set to join the House of Murphy
and forget about me.
Me, who taught you everything.
Well, I had to say something.
What do you want from me?
Very, very disappointed in you, Arthur.
Oh, you're disappointed?
- Yeah. - Well, likewise.
And what about poor old Fanny?
Hmph, Fanny.
That daft cow.
She got what she deserved.
Is that all you can say?
Well, it was all her idea.
Or was it?
You know, she always said you were a coward.
She said I should go it alone.
Well, you are going it alone, mate.
Enough is enough.
Fine.
Great, good riddance.
Fine, then.
You know, I'll probably do a lot better on my own, I think.
- Fine. - Get out!
- Fine. - Get out.
Fine.
Good night, sir.
Get the fuck out of my bar.
And that's how me and Willie left it,
arguing like a pair of old women.
What a way to end one of the great friendships.
A week went by, here I am.
But you killed Cornelius Murphy?
Not my style, Father.
Well, then it was Grimes that struck him down.
It was Fanny that did the killing.
We just left Cornelius and Valentine to it.
So you just left him to die?
Oh, aye.
Now here I am, an innocent man waiting for the guillotine.
Oh, none of us is innocent, Mr. Blake.
And I've listened to your tales, and you're...
you're far from innocent.
In fact, I think the guillotine is too good for you.
Grimes was lucky to have avoided me.
Well...
it's very nice to make your acquaintance, Mr. Murphy.
You must be a little disappointed in your son.
All that training,
and he gets struck down by two commoners
like Grimes and myself.
You're not common, Mr. Blake.
In fact, you're quite rare.
It's not every day you meet someone
who's about to spend the rest of their days in agony.
You best hurry up so.
I'll be under the blade in a few minutes.
No.
You won't be seeing the guillotine.
You're not as lucky as your friend.
I've made other arrangements for you.
You little bastard.
You do not disrespect the House of Murphy.
Do you hear me?
You little bastard!
This is how it ends, Arthur Blake.
You pup.
You little pup.
This is how it ends for you.
I'll open you!
Do it, then.
Do it!
Your son was an awful prick.
A prick.
You little bastard.
You little bastard!
Oy!
- Willie. - Arthur.
You're undead.
That bite on the island has me all supernatural.
It took me ages to find me head.
It's a... it's a bit disconcerting.
Well, I thought he had me there.
Oh, he cut you up something horrible.
Well, it's great to see you.
I thought you were sick of the sight of me.
Ah, no bother.
You look like shite, Willie.
Oh.
Well, it's a good thing I went first,
or else you'd be a dead man.
There you go.
Ah, here we are.
Oh, that's one I owe you.
Fancy him, coming after us.
Yeah, I know.
Said he was a priest.
Had me going there for a while.
Mad bastard.
Well, he'd fetch us a few quid, you reckon?
Let's get out of here.
Ooh.
Hey, that's mad, you being undead.
Oh, uh, are you any good at sewing?
Ha.
So you're like a cat, then?
Nine lives.
Oh, I figure it will keep on happening.
But here's what we should do.
We should go down to Langols Island
and find one of them yokes
and have it take a little nibble out of you.
No, thanks.
Oh, it's the best thing that ever happened...
Whoa.
You okay?
I tell you what, I'll think about it.
Hey, you're not gonna get all cannibalistic on me, are you?
Ah, no.
It's the best thing that ever happened to me.
Mind you...
I am feeling a bit peckish.
I'll take you down to The Fortune,
get you some supper.
Oh, it's a different kind of hunger, Arthur.
Oh, aye?
I'm ravenous, Arthur.
Me?
Give us a nibble.
No, no, get away from me.
Don't come near me.