1 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:54,972 Supposing Queen Elizabeth had been misguided enough 2 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,641 to marry an English commoner. 3 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:58,976 Janette? 4 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:04,982 I'm sorry, Ms. Fox. I didn't quite hear. 5 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,483 Obviously, you are immersed in problems 6 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:09,403 of far greater significance than Elizabeth's foreign policy. 7 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,489 But these mental... 8 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,075 When I was a kid, I used to think there was a special place 9 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:19,329 where all the movie stars lived. A kind of Shangri-la. 10 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:24,084 And if you could just get inside there, you'd be happy. Forever. 11 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:34,344 All these years later, I'm finally inside. I've made it to Shangri-la. 12 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:40,183 My name's Sidney Young. I'm a celebrity correspondent, 13 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,853 a journalist, a friend to the stars. 14 00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:46,189 Yeah, that... That isn't me. 15 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:50,777 This is me at the Apollo Film Awards in LA this year. 16 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,780 That's my Armani tuxedo. 17 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:57,200 That's an Omega Speedmaster Pro watch I'm wearing. 18 00:01:57,868 --> 00:02:00,036 That's the actress Sophie Maes. 19 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,539 Last night, she told me she'd let me have sex with her 20 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,708 if she won the Best Actress award. 21 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:08,879 Oh! 22 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,465 She just won the Best Actress award. 23 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,225 My life didn't used to be like this. 24 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,909 Only a year ago, my alternative magazine, 25 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,120 the Post Modern Review, was on the ropes. 26 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:48,251 I needed a big celebrity scoop to save me from bankruptcy and humiliation. 27 00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:53,089 But there was just one problem. 28 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:57,594 To cross the thin red line that separates the looky-loos from the stars, 29 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,430 you had to be famous. 30 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,099 - Babe? - Babe 3. Yeah. 31 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:08,271 - But he hasn't got any ID. - How many pigs are coming tonight? 32 00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:12,025 What do you want? Me to leave him here with you? 'Cause I can, that's fine. 33 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:13,276 - I'll leave him here with you. - No, no, no. 34 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,779 You cannot leave him here. I've got a... 35 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:20,450 If you're positive you're supposed to. 36 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:25,455 Well, well. Sidney Young. 37 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:29,960 Well, well, clipboard Nazi-type woman. 38 00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:32,796 The pig doesn't get in. 39 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,219 Plan B. If you couldn't crash the awards ceremonies, 40 00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:42,138 you had to get into one of the after-show parties. 41 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,810 Of these, the most exclusive was the Sharps magazine party, 42 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,813 hosted by legendary editor Clayton Harding. 43 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:53,483 Here the A-list could finally relax, 44 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,151 safe in the knowledge that no looky-loo 45 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,736 would be desperate enough to book a room 46 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:59,406 in one of London's most expensive hotels, 47 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,408 just to get close to them. 48 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:06,997 Okay, Britney, I want you in bed by 10:00, okay? 49 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,748 And no porn. 50 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:30,270 When I'm in LA, I like to stay at the Chateau. Where else? 51 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,273 And then when I'm in London, I always like to stay here 52 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,275 at the Haymarket. 'Cause, you know, 53 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:36,526 I just got to the point now 54 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:39,529 when I don't feel at home unless I'm in a hotel. 55 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:43,366 - Do you know what I mean? - What is it that you do? 56 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:46,536 I'm a writer. I'm a movie writer. 57 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:47,704 Oh, great. 58 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:54,878 Hello? Sir? 59 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,424 Is everything all right? 60 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,784 And it is weird that I should see you, 61 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:28,161 'cause I was talking to the producer, like, last week, 62 00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:31,247 and I was saying, you know, Thandie Newton, lead role. 63 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,791 - What do you reckon? - Yeah. 64 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,167 I'm serious, yeah, 65 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,754 because you have the intelligence and the beauty 66 00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:40,590 and the fragility that I think we're looking for. 67 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,094 - What's the film? - It's called Tits of Fury. 68 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:52,852 - You are too much. - I am, aren't I? 69 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:54,354 I love it. 70 00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:00,693 - What's your name again? - It's... 71 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:03,613 Clark. Clark Baxter. How do you do? 72 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,462 What is that? It's disgusting! 73 00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:24,801 Oh, shit! 74 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:29,138 Sarah, get security. Sidney Young got in. 75 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,723 Who's Sidney Young? 76 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,726 Oh, fuck! 77 00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:45,655 Plan C. Keep a low profile and leave as unobtrusively as possible. 78 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,687 Why do you not see how this is ridiculous? 79 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:22,025 It's a puerile and personal attack in alcoholic prose... 80 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,693 Can you get that? 81 00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,612 ...you manage to misquote both Derrida and Lyotard. 82 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:27,697 I'm sorry? 83 00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,615 Can you get the phone, please? 84 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,618 My stupid... Your stupid fucking article! 85 00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:35,038 I wouldn't do you the honor of calling it a review. 86 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,456 - I am... - A girl. 87 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,125 ...an internationally respected academic and... 88 00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,626 - Prick. - What? 89 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:41,961 You answer the phone. What do I pay you for? 90 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,129 I am an author... 91 00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:46,049 - You don't pay me. - Answer the phone. 92 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,217 ...in the history of culture. I am... A fuckwit! 93 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,386 Hello. Post Modern Review. 94 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,889 Sidney, if she doesn't apologize, I'm quitting. 95 00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:55,058 You're going to have to apologize, okay? George can't leave. 96 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,310 - Why can't George leave? - Because he owns the fax machine. 97 00:07:57,393 --> 00:08:00,813 - That's why. What? - It's them. It's Sharps magazine. 98 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:01,981 What are you gonna do about it then? 99 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,733 Well, I will take them to... 100 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,568 Names are ridiculous. I mean... 101 00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:08,071 - We're finished. - We're not finished. 102 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,156 - If they sue, we're finished. - It's going to be all right. 103 00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:11,574 - Give me the phone. Shut up. - Dead. 104 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,159 Be quiet! 105 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:15,828 Sidney Young. 106 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,331 This is Clayton Harding, editor of Sharps magazine. 107 00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:21,501 - Lord Vader. - I saw you at my party, 108 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,670 just before you ruined it with your little pig stunt. 109 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,839 - You liked that, did you? - Sure. 110 00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:31,427 I especially liked the part where Clint Eastwood beat the shit out of you. 111 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,262 Yeah, well, you listen to me, okay? 112 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,847 I'm not scared of you, Harding, all right? 113 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,766 You can sue if you like, but, you know, 114 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,519 it's like Jimmy Stewart said, 115 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,604 "All right. Yeah, you sit up there 116 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,356 "and you spin your little webs, 117 00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:46,442 "and you think the whole world revolves around you and your money, 118 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,611 "but It doesn't, Mr... " 119 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:49,862 - Mr... - Potter. 120 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,030 Potter! 121 00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:52,865 You can sue us, okay, but I warn you, 122 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,409 - if you strike me down... - Ms. Taylor's here to see you. 123 00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,620 ...I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. 124 00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,205 A hundred men will spring up in my place. 125 00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:03,042 Men who care nothing for success. Men who can't be bought. 126 00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:06,045 - Men whose only loyalty... - I want you to come work for me 127 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,214 at Sharps magazine in New York. 128 00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:13,135 - Fight, fight, fight, fight! - Fight, fight, fight, fight! 129 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,306 You can keep your fucking fax machine! 130 00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:18,975 Can you say that again, please? 131 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:36,242 I see trees of green 132 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,744 Red roses too 133 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:41,831 I see them bloom 134 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,916 For me and you 135 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,420 And I say to myself 136 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:52,842 What a wonderful world 137 00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:58,889 I see skies of blue 138 00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:01,684 And clouds of white 139 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,604 Bright sunny days 140 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,689 Dark sacred nights 141 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:09,525 And I say to myself 142 00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:16,866 Oh, fuck. 143 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:21,078 This magazine you're working for, it is good? 144 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,789 Yeah, with Sharps. You know, Sharps magazine. 145 00:10:23,914 --> 00:10:28,836 Sort of high society, fashion, crime, finance, Hollywood celebrities. 146 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:32,381 Hollywood? Sodom and Gomorrah. 147 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,050 Now everybody is celebrity. 148 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:37,011 You take out your breasts, you're celebrity. 149 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,806 I think it probably depends on the breasts. 150 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:45,478 In Poland, someone was famous because they'd done something. 151 00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:48,397 Marie Curie, Pope John Paul. 152 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,901 Yeah, well, they don't make entertainers like that anymore, do they? 153 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,486 Wise guy. 154 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,743 They brought your things yesterday. 155 00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,244 Great. Yeah. 156 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:05,039 Yeah, it's nice. 157 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:08,584 I like it. Yeah, it's good. I'll put my drums in the corner over there. 158 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:12,505 It's a joke. They're just little. Congas. 159 00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:17,009 - When you start work? - In the morning. 160 00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:20,387 So you got to be fresh, make a good impression. 161 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,306 Go to bed! 162 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,767 That's exactly what I intend to do. 163 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:31,273 I get around Oh, yeah 164 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:34,944 I get around. Oh, yeah 165 00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:38,030 I get around... Oh, yeah 166 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,866 I get around 167 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,954 I get around Oh, yeah 168 00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:48,707 I get around Oh, yeah 169 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:52,211 I get around Oh. yeah 170 00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:53,462 I get around 171 00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,716 Around 172 00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:01,303 I get around Oh, yeah 173 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,165 - Kona, please. - Make that two. 174 00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:37,756 I'm Clark. Clark Baxter. 175 00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:40,426 Nice to meet you. Cheers. 176 00:12:42,177 --> 00:12:44,096 - What is this? - That's a water, sir. 177 00:12:44,179 --> 00:12:46,849 That's not right, is it? Put a bit of beer in it or something. 178 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,435 - I'm sorry, my boyfriend's sitting there. - Is he? 179 00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:51,103 He's fucking small, isn't he? 180 00:12:53,188 --> 00:12:56,275 That's his White Russian. He'll be here any second. 181 00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,444 Excuse me, can you reserve seats in this bar? 182 00:12:58,527 --> 00:12:59,695 No. 183 00:13:03,198 --> 00:13:07,119 I'm a journalist. I work for a little periodical 184 00:13:07,202 --> 00:13:08,287 you might have heard of, 185 00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,874 Sharps magazine. I'm the cultural editor. I... 186 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:15,794 This is a library card from Gloucester. 187 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:19,131 Don't. It's the wrong one, isn't it? I've got... 188 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:23,302 - Happy now? - Just doing my bit for the gene pool. 189 00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:29,058 Who is that with Clint Eastwood? 190 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:31,560 - Morgan Freeman? - No, in the headlock. 191 00:13:32,644 --> 00:13:34,480 - You got this laminated? - Give it to me. 192 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:35,647 Oh! 193 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:36,815 - Shit. - Sorry, sorry, sorry. 194 00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:39,234 - No, no, no! No, no, just leave it! - All right. 195 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:40,819 It's got... Okay, then. 196 00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:44,907 It's pronounced Gloucester, by the way. 197 00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:48,160 - Are you going to get off of that seat? - No. 198 00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:51,580 - Do you know the meaning of karma? - The curry? 199 00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,250 What goes around comes around. 200 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,336 The moment is approaching where you'll pay the price 201 00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:58,670 for being an asshole. 202 00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,172 And when my boyfriend gets here, 203 00:14:00,255 --> 00:14:02,841 I'm going to encourage him to take you outside... 204 00:14:06,678 --> 00:14:09,098 Hello. Hi, honey. 205 00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,103 All right, I'll see you then. 206 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,940 Boyfriend not coming? 207 00:14:19,691 --> 00:14:23,362 Look, I'm sorry, okay? Do you think... Do you think... 208 00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:28,117 Do you think I could have his drink? 209 00:14:29,284 --> 00:14:30,619 - Bobbie. - Hey! 210 00:14:30,702 --> 00:14:33,789 - Do you want my seat? I'm just leaving. - Thanks. 211 00:14:39,878 --> 00:14:42,881 Who do you think that is with Clint Eastwood? 212 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:47,636 Chicken, pay the chicken back Back, pay the chicken back 213 00:14:47,719 --> 00:14:50,889 Pay back the chicken back Do the chicken payback 214 00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,724 Come on Pay the camel back 215 00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,393 Sitting on a camel back 216 00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:57,729 See the camel, do the camel Pay the camel back 217 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,482 I'm going to go powder my nose. 218 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,819 Why don't you put on something a little more romantic, huh? 219 00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:35,100 - Mrs. Lebowski? - Kowalski. 220 00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:39,605 You know what time it is? The music blaring, the door open. 221 00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:43,775 Was it? Fuck. I mean, sorry. Shit. I mean, sorry. 222 00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:47,779 I just... I ran into an old friend and I brought her back for a little... 223 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:50,866 Penis! 224 00:16:09,801 --> 00:16:10,886 Bloody... 225 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,564 You can do this. You can do it. 226 00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:28,070 You can do this. You so can do this. 227 00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:39,414 Come on, Bob. 228 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:42,084 A quick cup of coffee, then you've got to go. 229 00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,269 This is my city. 230 00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:05,273 This is my building. 231 00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,528 This is my lobby. 232 00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:16,118 These are my models. 233 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:22,290 This is my workplace. 234 00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:26,211 He's come down to see Mr. Harding. 235 00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:35,387 And this is my boss. 236 00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:40,976 What the fuck are you wearing? 237 00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:44,646 Do you like it? I've got you one, actually. 238 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,068 Thanks. 239 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:56,575 - Sit down. How was your flight? - Yeah, it was good. 240 00:17:56,741 --> 00:17:59,286 Thanks for the business-class tickets, Clay. 241 00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:02,998 That was a mistake. And don't call me Clay. 242 00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:06,042 - Can we smoke? - We? No. 243 00:18:10,213 --> 00:18:14,259 Oh, my God. You... You've seen... Yeah, okay. 244 00:18:14,759 --> 00:18:17,012 That was a little... I'm actually a big fan 245 00:18:17,095 --> 00:18:18,930 of your early, funnier stuff. 246 00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:21,183 Snipe magazine was really good. 247 00:18:26,229 --> 00:18:28,773 You've actually been a big influence on me. 248 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:34,196 And I think together we can really inject some of that Snipe spirit into Sharps. 249 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:35,906 I've got some ideas, actually, if you'd like... 250 00:18:35,947 --> 00:18:38,450 You think you've arrived, don't you? 251 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:42,037 Hate to break it to you, but you're only in the first room. 252 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,539 In about a year, maybe longer, 253 00:18:46,207 --> 00:18:49,294 you'll discover a secret doorway 254 00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:53,340 at the back of the first room that leads to the second. 255 00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:56,885 And in time, if you're lucky, you'll discover another doorway 256 00:18:56,968 --> 00:19:00,013 in the back of the second room that leads to the third. 257 00:19:00,388 --> 00:19:03,224 There are seven rooms altogether. 258 00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:07,479 You're in the first. I'm in the seventh. 259 00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:10,231 Don't you forget it. 260 00:19:11,232 --> 00:19:15,570 Can I use the bathroom in the seventh? 'Cause the one in the first really smells. 261 00:19:15,987 --> 00:19:18,907 Which leads us to the subject of your sense of humor. 262 00:19:18,942 --> 00:19:20,825 I had a look through your magazine here. 263 00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:22,494 What did you think? 264 00:19:22,827 --> 00:19:24,829 Felt it was kind of snarky 265 00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,666 and bitter 266 00:19:28,249 --> 00:19:29,709 and witless. 267 00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:35,173 I'm going to try you out in the "I Spy" section. 268 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,801 You're going to report to Lawrence Maddox. 269 00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,304 Well, Sidney, I know we've only just met, 270 00:19:41,429 --> 00:19:42,764 but already I perceive I'm in the presence 271 00:19:42,847 --> 00:19:44,683 of a rare comic sensibility. 272 00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:48,019 - Thanks. - Harding wants me to be your rabbi. 273 00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:50,271 - Show you the ropes. Mr. Maddox. 274 00:19:50,313 --> 00:19:52,399 Are you aware of what we do at "I Spy"? 275 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:55,193 You photograph famous people when they're drunk. 276 00:19:55,860 --> 00:19:59,364 "I Spy" is the nation's window into high society. 277 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:00,699 Thank you. 278 00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:03,868 The looky-loos read us because, well, they weren't there. 279 00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:07,455 And the glitterati read us because we tell them they were there. 280 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:10,291 For the system to work, we have to know where "there" is. 281 00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:13,920 So when we go out to clubs and stuff, is that on expenses? 282 00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:16,548 This isn't a vacation. It's a vocation. 283 00:20:19,884 --> 00:20:22,971 And when we do go out, you're going to have to wear something more suitable. 284 00:20:23,012 --> 00:20:25,974 - What do you mean by suitable? - Something that covers all this up. 285 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:36,860 - Is that Mussolini? - No, Sidney, that's Richard Heywood, 286 00:20:37,318 --> 00:20:38,987 owner of this magazine. 287 00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:41,573 He does, doesn't he? A bit of the... 288 00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:45,326 Who's this funny-looking kid? Is that his son? 289 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:48,329 That's his daughter, Elizabeth. Now my wife. 290 00:20:50,331 --> 00:20:51,583 Really? 291 00:20:51,666 --> 00:20:54,169 She's very... Isn't she? She's got... 292 00:20:55,753 --> 00:20:58,631 I mean, babies are all like Mussolini, aren't they? 293 00:20:58,923 --> 00:21:01,593 Ms. Olsen takes care of book launches, gallery openings 294 00:21:01,676 --> 00:21:03,678 and other intellectual fare. 295 00:21:03,761 --> 00:21:07,015 Ms. Olsen, would you find our new rookie something to do? 296 00:21:07,098 --> 00:21:09,934 I hear the cultural editor's job is up for grabs. 297 00:21:17,775 --> 00:21:19,736 Look, seeing as I'm going to be sitting just there, 298 00:21:19,777 --> 00:21:22,197 don't you think we should put last night behind us? 299 00:21:22,232 --> 00:21:24,115 No. Now, get off my desk. 300 00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:28,620 Yeah, but... I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing. 301 00:21:31,122 --> 00:21:35,043 - Are you going to help me out? - Sure. Which way did you come in? 302 00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:41,090 Here, Chris Blick exhibition opening. Caption it. Now get off my desk. 303 00:21:43,801 --> 00:21:45,929 - Hi. - Hi, Ingrid. 304 00:21:46,554 --> 00:21:48,556 Aren't you going to introduce us? 305 00:21:49,849 --> 00:21:53,645 - This is Clark Baxter. - It's Sidney, actually. Sidney Young. 306 00:21:53,978 --> 00:21:57,315 - Clark Baxter's my alias, so... - Why would you need an alias? 307 00:21:57,398 --> 00:22:00,318 He uses it when he's trying to pick up transsexuals. 308 00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:02,820 He's English. 309 00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:04,822 Oh. Right. 310 00:22:08,826 --> 00:22:11,245 - Hello. - Hello, is that the Parsons Gallery? 311 00:22:11,329 --> 00:22:13,748 Yes, it is. This is Celia Parsons speaking. 312 00:22:13,831 --> 00:22:16,668 Hi, this is Sidney Young from Sharps magazine. 313 00:22:17,251 --> 00:22:19,420 We're running some photographs from your opening 314 00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:21,589 of the Chris Blick exhibition, 315 00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:23,341 and I've been asked to caption them. 316 00:22:23,424 --> 00:22:26,344 I wonder if you could help me identify a few people. 317 00:22:26,427 --> 00:22:27,845 - All right. - Thanks. 318 00:22:28,137 --> 00:22:30,264 Chris Blick. Man or woman? 319 00:22:31,140 --> 00:22:33,518 - What? - Is Chris Blick a man or a woman? 320 00:22:34,352 --> 00:22:37,105 Are you sure you're calling from Sharps magazine? 321 00:22:37,146 --> 00:22:38,523 Yes, I am. 322 00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:40,149 Well, then, tell me, Stanley, 323 00:22:40,191 --> 00:22:41,859 why have they given you this assignment 324 00:22:41,943 --> 00:22:44,112 if you don't know who one of the most famous artists 325 00:22:44,195 --> 00:22:45,488 in America is? 326 00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:46,948 I don't know. 327 00:22:47,198 --> 00:22:50,201 - He's a man! - Great. Okay. Is he an old man? 328 00:22:51,869 --> 00:22:53,705 He's an older man, yes. 329 00:22:53,788 --> 00:22:57,125 'Cause I've got two old men here. Is he the fat one? 330 00:22:58,042 --> 00:23:01,713 You do realize that Clayton Harding is a personal friend of mine? 331 00:23:01,796 --> 00:23:03,548 - What's that got to do with anything? - Right. 332 00:23:18,062 --> 00:23:21,149 - Parsons Gallery. - Is he the one with the wonky eye, then? 333 00:23:42,253 --> 00:23:44,255 It's fashion sensitive. 334 00:23:44,338 --> 00:23:47,258 If you're not wearing Prada, it will take your arm clean off. 335 00:23:47,341 --> 00:23:49,427 But I am wearing Prada. 336 00:24:07,278 --> 00:24:09,363 This place isn't what I expected. 337 00:24:09,864 --> 00:24:13,534 - What did you expect? - I don't know, like, the Algonquin Circle. 338 00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:16,871 Dorothy Parker. You know, martinis, quips. 339 00:24:16,954 --> 00:24:19,707 - Nobody here's drunk. - It's called being professional. 340 00:24:19,790 --> 00:24:21,125 You should try it sometime. 341 00:24:21,209 --> 00:24:22,376 Here's something you gotta understand, okay? 342 00:24:22,411 --> 00:24:23,509 I'm not really one of you. 343 00:24:23,544 --> 00:24:26,464 - By "you," do you mean human? - No, I mean one of the glossy posse. 344 00:24:26,547 --> 00:24:29,717 Bunch of zombies writing about pets of the stars, 345 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,302 acting like they're working for the UN. 346 00:24:31,385 --> 00:24:33,554 I am here to shake things up. 347 00:24:36,557 --> 00:24:38,226 Where are you from? 348 00:24:38,309 --> 00:24:41,729 Not that it's any of your business, but Port Huron, Michigan. 349 00:24:41,812 --> 00:24:44,065 Ah! Small-town girl. 350 00:24:44,148 --> 00:24:46,067 I bet you couldn't wait to get out. 351 00:24:46,150 --> 00:24:47,151 Get anywhere. 352 00:24:47,235 --> 00:24:49,237 Get all the way to the NYC. 353 00:24:50,738 --> 00:24:52,240 Silence of the Lambs. 354 00:24:52,990 --> 00:24:54,373 Let me give you a bit of advice, okay? 355 00:24:54,408 --> 00:24:56,327 Don't take the celebrity fluff too seriously. 356 00:24:57,662 --> 00:24:59,413 You arrogant... 357 00:25:34,615 --> 00:25:36,033 Are you insane? 358 00:25:36,117 --> 00:25:37,952 - What? - That was Lawrence Maddox's wife. 359 00:25:38,035 --> 00:25:39,954 Elizabeth. Her father owns Sharps. 360 00:25:40,037 --> 00:25:42,707 What? That was her? The Mussolini baby? 361 00:25:43,207 --> 00:25:44,959 - Well, I could go back... - No! You do not 362 00:25:45,042 --> 00:25:46,961 approach Elizabeth Maddox, you do not talk to her, 363 00:25:47,044 --> 00:25:49,880 don't even make eye contact with her. Do you understand? 364 00:25:49,964 --> 00:25:52,466 - What? Am I supposed to be afraid? - Yes. 365 00:25:52,550 --> 00:25:54,600 I don't know the meaning of the word fear. 366 00:25:54,635 --> 00:25:57,471 I'm sure there are many words you don't know the meaning of. 367 00:25:57,555 --> 00:26:00,141 - What does that mean? - When I think of all the people 368 00:26:00,224 --> 00:26:02,184 who would kill to be where you are. 369 00:26:02,219 --> 00:26:04,145 You lumber in here, spitting food, 370 00:26:04,228 --> 00:26:06,814 haven't got the brains God gave a mollusc. 371 00:26:06,897 --> 00:26:08,315 Why did Clayton hire you? 372 00:26:08,399 --> 00:26:10,568 - Snipe magazine. - What? 373 00:26:10,651 --> 00:26:12,987 When Clayton left college, he started this magazine called Snipe. 374 00:26:13,070 --> 00:26:16,323 It was fantastic. Just took aim at all the self-important celebrities in town. 375 00:26:16,407 --> 00:26:17,658 It was completely fearless. 376 00:26:17,742 --> 00:26:19,827 It was like my magazine, but 20 years earlier. 377 00:26:19,910 --> 00:26:22,663 I am the young Clayton Harding. That's why he hired me. 378 00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:25,166 He looks at me and he sees his glory days. 379 00:26:25,249 --> 00:26:27,334 - His glory days? - Yeah. 380 00:26:27,418 --> 00:26:29,503 Sharps has won over 14 National Magazine Awards 381 00:26:29,587 --> 00:26:33,090 and increased its advertising pages by 60% since he took over. 382 00:26:33,257 --> 00:26:36,177 He lives in a Bank Street townhouse, and weekends in the Hamptons. 383 00:26:36,260 --> 00:26:39,513 Clayton Harding is one of the linchpins of the media-industrial complex. 384 00:26:39,597 --> 00:26:43,684 Don't worry about that. I think I might just be in time to save him. 385 00:26:46,353 --> 00:26:47,688 Hello, you've reached Sidney Young. 386 00:26:47,772 --> 00:26:49,857 I'm sorry, but my answering machine is out of order. 387 00:26:49,940 --> 00:26:52,443 So the voice you're hearing is actually me. What do you want? 388 00:26:53,861 --> 00:26:55,863 Sidney? Are you there? 389 00:26:57,531 --> 00:26:59,867 Sidney? It's your father. 390 00:27:01,452 --> 00:27:04,872 If you're there, Sidney, please answer the phone. 391 00:27:06,790 --> 00:27:08,042 Sidney. 392 00:27:08,792 --> 00:27:10,294 Are you there? 393 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:17,218 In the cool of the evening When everything is getting kind of groovy 394 00:27:21,972 --> 00:27:26,310 You call me up and ask me would I like to go with you and see a movie 395 00:27:30,397 --> 00:27:31,899 Wow. Look at that. 396 00:27:31,982 --> 00:27:35,569 First I say no, I've got some plans for the night 397 00:27:36,904 --> 00:27:38,489 Are you two texting each other? 398 00:27:40,407 --> 00:27:46,580 Love is kind of crazy with a spooky little boy like you 399 00:27:49,667 --> 00:27:51,752 You always keep me guessing 400 00:27:51,835 --> 00:27:56,006 I never seem to know what you are thinking 401 00:27:58,259 --> 00:28:04,014 And if a girl looks at you, it's for sure your little eye will be a-winking 402 00:28:13,607 --> 00:28:15,276 There's about 100 grand's worth of food here, 403 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,695 and I think I'm the only one eating it. 404 00:28:17,778 --> 00:28:19,446 - You want some? - No. 405 00:28:22,032 --> 00:28:25,286 - This place is just wall-to-wall totty. - Wall-to-wall what? 406 00:28:25,369 --> 00:28:27,621 Totty. You know, babes. 407 00:28:27,705 --> 00:28:29,957 - Sexually-attractive women. - Do you mind? 408 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:31,292 What? 409 00:28:31,375 --> 00:28:33,294 - Hey, Lawrence, how are you? - Hey, I'm good. 410 00:28:33,377 --> 00:28:35,129 Good to see you. 411 00:28:35,212 --> 00:28:36,297 Look at that. 412 00:28:36,380 --> 00:28:38,215 All night long, people have been treating us like royalty. 413 00:28:38,299 --> 00:28:39,550 In London, the journalist's motto is, 414 00:28:39,633 --> 00:28:41,302 "Everybody hates us, and we don't care. " 415 00:28:41,385 --> 00:28:44,304 Well, now you're one of the high priests of what's hot and what's not. 416 00:28:44,388 --> 00:28:46,807 I shouldn't even be here. I get thrown out of places like this. 417 00:29:00,654 --> 00:29:03,073 Lawrence Maddox? Oh, my goodness. 418 00:29:03,490 --> 00:29:05,409 - Long time. Yeah. 419 00:29:05,909 --> 00:29:08,579 You know, it is so funny I should run into you. 420 00:29:08,996 --> 00:29:12,916 I've just done this great little film. It's called Five Boroughs. 421 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,668 - It's low-budget. First-time director. - Yeah. 422 00:29:14,752 --> 00:29:16,670 But it's really moving. 423 00:29:17,504 --> 00:29:20,424 Hey, you know, maybe you could do a little... 424 00:29:21,091 --> 00:29:22,176 Vincent. 425 00:29:22,259 --> 00:29:24,428 - Good to see you. - Lawrence, right? 426 00:29:24,511 --> 00:29:26,430 - Yeah. - How are you, sir? 427 00:29:26,513 --> 00:29:27,813 - Good. - Good to see you, too. 428 00:29:27,848 --> 00:29:30,017 - How's the picture? - Pretty close to perfect, 429 00:29:30,100 --> 00:29:32,686 if I can just get all the experts to leave me alone. 430 00:29:32,770 --> 00:29:34,521 In fact, I'm going to have some screenings next week. 431 00:29:34,605 --> 00:29:36,356 - You should come by. - Hey, 432 00:29:36,940 --> 00:29:40,277 that was Rachel Petkoff. She's a fantastic actress. 433 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:42,863 She's not been in anything for a while, but she was, in her day... 434 00:29:42,898 --> 00:29:44,531 - Sure. - No, seriously. 435 00:29:44,615 --> 00:29:45,664 I think she's due for a comeback. 436 00:29:45,699 --> 00:29:47,701 We should get in there. Do a profile before anyone else... 437 00:29:47,785 --> 00:29:52,539 Sidney, I'd like to introduce you to Vincent Lepak, enfant terrible. 438 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:57,211 In my opinion, the most exciting new director in American cinema. 439 00:29:57,294 --> 00:29:59,546 This is the worst fundraiser I've been to in my whole life. 440 00:29:59,630 --> 00:30:01,548 It's a rat fuck, isn't it? 441 00:30:02,132 --> 00:30:04,718 - It's going well, huh? Yeah. 442 00:30:10,307 --> 00:30:11,725 Excuse me. 443 00:30:12,726 --> 00:30:15,813 Could I have your autograph, please? I'm a huge fan. 444 00:30:18,065 --> 00:30:19,733 - Is that so? - Yeah, I've seen everything 445 00:30:19,817 --> 00:30:21,318 you've been in. 446 00:30:21,401 --> 00:30:23,035 Those episodes of The Love Boat 447 00:30:23,070 --> 00:30:25,989 and The Bionic Woman and Song Birds. 448 00:30:26,490 --> 00:30:30,410 In The Night. And I saw your first ever TV appearance, 449 00:30:30,494 --> 00:30:32,496 The Twilight Zone, "House of Mirrors. " 450 00:30:33,914 --> 00:30:35,082 Right! 451 00:30:35,165 --> 00:30:38,502 But my all-time favorite has to be A Day Too Long. 452 00:30:38,585 --> 00:30:40,170 You look great in that. 453 00:30:46,176 --> 00:30:49,596 - What's your name, honey? - It's Sidney. Sidney Young. 454 00:30:50,347 --> 00:30:53,016 Sidney Young. 455 00:30:56,103 --> 00:30:58,272 - Thanks. - I'll remember that. 456 00:31:00,691 --> 00:31:02,192 Thank you. 457 00:31:05,028 --> 00:31:08,782 I mean, you look around you and it's all shit, you know. 458 00:31:08,865 --> 00:31:10,617 No one's making movies that are fucking worthwhile. 459 00:31:10,701 --> 00:31:12,953 I have to disagree with you, Vincent. 460 00:31:13,370 --> 00:31:15,706 You're making movies that are worthwhile. 461 00:31:15,789 --> 00:31:18,792 This is what I'm saying, you know. You have to inspire yourself. 462 00:31:18,875 --> 00:31:21,461 I am my role model. I want to be me. 463 00:31:22,379 --> 00:31:24,631 - What's the greatest film ever made? - Excuse me? 464 00:31:24,715 --> 00:31:27,551 What is the greatest film ever made? Have a guess. 465 00:31:28,051 --> 00:31:31,805 Well, I don't know. I don't think there is one... 466 00:31:31,888 --> 00:31:33,307 - Have a guess. Yeah. No. Have a guess. 467 00:31:33,390 --> 00:31:34,975 What's the greatest film ever made? 468 00:31:35,058 --> 00:31:38,312 It's hard to say. I mean, I personally love La Dolce Vita. 469 00:31:39,479 --> 00:31:41,148 Incorrect. 470 00:31:41,231 --> 00:31:42,816 Con Air. 471 00:31:43,066 --> 00:31:45,819 - I beg your pardon? - Con Air, right? 472 00:31:45,902 --> 00:31:46,987 It's got everything, hasn't it? 473 00:31:47,070 --> 00:31:49,489 You know, you've got Malkovich for your acting chops, 474 00:31:49,573 --> 00:31:53,160 you got Nicky Cage for your action, Steve Buscemi for your comedy, 475 00:31:53,195 --> 00:31:55,829 John Cusack for the gays. Right? 476 00:31:55,912 --> 00:31:57,497 It's like a smorgasbord, isn't it? 477 00:32:00,250 --> 00:32:01,418 I don't think we've been introduced. 478 00:32:02,669 --> 00:32:06,256 Mr. Young, this is Eleanor Johnson, Queen of New York. 479 00:32:06,339 --> 00:32:09,760 Sidney's from England. He's our very own idiot savant. 480 00:32:09,843 --> 00:32:11,511 Without the savant. 481 00:32:12,179 --> 00:32:15,182 It's always nice to have fresh blood at these things. 482 00:32:15,849 --> 00:32:17,851 Which reminds me. 483 00:32:17,934 --> 00:32:21,354 I am here with Sophie Maes. I want you to meet her. 484 00:32:21,521 --> 00:32:25,609 Her new film, The Making of a Saint, the buzz is amazing. 485 00:32:25,692 --> 00:32:30,113 - What are you? A publicist? - I don't really like that word, Sidney. 486 00:32:30,614 --> 00:32:32,532 What do I call you, then? 487 00:32:33,533 --> 00:32:35,619 You can call me Eleanor. 488 00:32:36,369 --> 00:32:37,954 All right. 489 00:32:38,371 --> 00:32:39,790 There she is. 490 00:33:41,685 --> 00:33:43,436 This one will go far. 491 00:33:46,690 --> 00:33:48,358 Where's the car? 492 00:33:48,942 --> 00:33:50,777 What's it doing at the back? 493 00:33:51,361 --> 00:33:54,030 Forget what I said. I want it at the front now. 494 00:33:54,197 --> 00:33:57,200 I just think it's so awful how we're still exploiting animals, 495 00:33:57,284 --> 00:34:01,788 which is why I won't wear fur or leather, or wear make-up. 496 00:34:01,871 --> 00:34:03,290 I'm a vegetarian. 497 00:34:03,373 --> 00:34:06,710 I'm with you on that one. I won't eat anything with eyebrows. 498 00:34:07,544 --> 00:34:08,712 Or something that can chuckle. 499 00:34:08,795 --> 00:34:11,429 I would never eat an animal that could chuckle. 500 00:34:11,464 --> 00:34:15,468 I'm sorry, I can't really understand your accent very well. 501 00:34:15,552 --> 00:34:18,471 Nothing, I was just... So you're an actress, are you? 502 00:34:18,555 --> 00:34:21,224 - So you've not won any Oscars, then? - No. 503 00:34:21,474 --> 00:34:25,061 'Cause I would definitely vote for you for Best Supporting Dress. 504 00:34:25,895 --> 00:34:28,231 I haven't been nominated for anything. 505 00:34:28,315 --> 00:34:30,400 - I realize. I was just saying... Sophie. 506 00:34:30,483 --> 00:34:32,485 - Dear, are you ready? - Yeah. 507 00:34:32,569 --> 00:34:34,654 I was joking, 'cause your dress is... 508 00:34:34,738 --> 00:34:36,656 Now, you know what to do. 509 00:34:39,909 --> 00:34:40,959 Thank you! 510 00:34:40,994 --> 00:34:43,830 This side. Lovely. 511 00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,833 Sophie! Sophie, Sophie! 512 00:34:49,919 --> 00:34:52,255 Thank you. Thank you very much. 513 00:34:54,090 --> 00:34:56,343 - All right. Let's get in. Sophie! 514 00:34:57,093 --> 00:34:58,845 I'm going to the Circle Club. I'll see you tomorrow. 515 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:00,180 Okay. Good night. 516 00:35:03,683 --> 00:35:05,352 - Budge up. - Where are you going? 517 00:35:05,435 --> 00:35:07,937 - I'm going to the club. - I'm sorry, you're not on the list. 518 00:35:09,105 --> 00:35:11,358 - Cuba! - See? Even Cuba says so. 519 00:35:12,776 --> 00:35:14,110 Cuba. 520 00:35:14,861 --> 00:35:17,197 - Who's a good boy? - To the Circle Club. 521 00:35:18,865 --> 00:35:21,451 Oh, God! That just turns my stomach. 522 00:35:21,534 --> 00:35:23,870 He's pawing all over her. He's old enough to be her father. 523 00:35:23,905 --> 00:35:25,955 - No, he isn't. - Yes, he is. 524 00:35:26,289 --> 00:35:28,506 Actually, I was producing sperm when I was 13, technically. 525 00:35:28,541 --> 00:35:32,010 For your information, he wasn't pawing her. He was just doing his job. 526 00:35:32,045 --> 00:35:34,964 In case you haven't noticed, Sharps has to have a star on the cover every month, 527 00:35:35,048 --> 00:35:38,635 and most of those stars are Eleanor's clients, so do not piss her off. 528 00:35:38,718 --> 00:35:41,971 She's a flack. Hacks do not take orders from flacks. 529 00:35:42,097 --> 00:35:43,932 And I wouldn't call that doing his job, okay? 530 00:35:43,967 --> 00:35:45,391 He had no blood left in his upper body. 531 00:35:45,426 --> 00:35:46,893 Would you... 532 00:35:47,894 --> 00:35:52,273 And the next time you want to do that hilariously ironic "I love Con Air" skit... 533 00:35:52,308 --> 00:35:53,733 I wasn't being ironic. 534 00:35:53,817 --> 00:35:57,487 ...would you mind not doing it in front of Vincent Lepak, 535 00:35:57,570 --> 00:35:59,405 who happens to be very important? 536 00:35:59,489 --> 00:36:03,743 Yeah, I could tell that by the way he was allowed to stay up past his bedtime. 537 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,246 - Do you think she'd go out with me? - Who? 538 00:36:06,371 --> 00:36:07,914 Sophie Maes. Do you think she would go out with me? 539 00:36:07,997 --> 00:36:09,082 No. 540 00:36:09,165 --> 00:36:11,751 Girls like Sophie do not date journalists. 541 00:36:11,835 --> 00:36:13,753 And as far as she's concerned, you're the help. 542 00:36:13,837 --> 00:36:16,840 What do you know? Anyway, a lot of these starlets are lonely. 543 00:36:16,923 --> 00:36:19,175 All they do is look around for men. 544 00:36:19,259 --> 00:36:20,593 This is New York, Sidney. 545 00:36:20,677 --> 00:36:22,679 Women only date men who are successful. 546 00:36:22,714 --> 00:36:24,681 - I'm going to be successful. - And tall. 547 00:36:24,764 --> 00:36:25,849 Yeah... 548 00:36:35,608 --> 00:36:38,152 Have you seen this? She's everywhere. 549 00:36:40,780 --> 00:36:42,448 Great coverage. 550 00:36:45,702 --> 00:36:47,287 From Sophie Maes. 551 00:36:50,415 --> 00:36:53,209 "Thanks for the great night. " Sweet kid. 552 00:36:54,711 --> 00:36:56,921 Sidney, about last night. 553 00:36:57,797 --> 00:37:01,134 A word of advice. Don't talk to the celebrities. 554 00:37:02,385 --> 00:37:05,054 Sophie said you made her uncomfortable. 555 00:37:51,100 --> 00:37:54,604 So, Brad's people finally got back to me and they've agreed. 556 00:37:54,687 --> 00:37:57,273 We have the whole afternoon before the shoot. 557 00:37:57,398 --> 00:37:59,108 Good work, Lawrence. 558 00:37:59,233 --> 00:38:01,319 Okay, if that's it... 559 00:38:02,528 --> 00:38:05,031 Actually, I was thinking, Clay. 560 00:38:05,531 --> 00:38:07,116 Paris Hilton. 561 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:11,204 I do a profile on her as if she's this complete recluse. 562 00:38:11,287 --> 00:38:13,546 Like a hermit. 563 00:38:13,581 --> 00:38:15,208 You know? I'm tracking her down. 564 00:38:15,291 --> 00:38:18,294 "Who is the elusive Paris Hilton and why is she so publicity shy?" 565 00:38:20,713 --> 00:38:22,048 'Cause... 566 00:38:23,549 --> 00:38:25,051 Isn't it? It's good. 567 00:38:25,134 --> 00:38:26,886 'Cause just changing it... 568 00:38:28,429 --> 00:38:29,889 That's first room stuff, Sidney. 569 00:38:29,972 --> 00:38:32,975 And call me Clay one more time, see what happens. 570 00:38:39,107 --> 00:38:40,900 I thought that was quite good. 571 00:38:40,942 --> 00:38:42,151 Sorry. 572 00:38:49,826 --> 00:38:53,204 If I give you an interview, will you leave me the fuck alone? 573 00:38:54,247 --> 00:38:57,875 - Bill Nathanson, nice to meet you. - Sidney Young, Sharps magazine. 574 00:38:58,835 --> 00:39:02,505 Huge fan. Lovely to meet you. I've just seen the film 575 00:39:03,923 --> 00:39:05,258 - Rap Rat. - Good. 576 00:39:05,341 --> 00:39:06,843 - Did you like it? - I did. 577 00:39:06,926 --> 00:39:11,347 I did like it. I did. I liked the hamster thing that you played. 578 00:39:11,430 --> 00:39:13,516 - Actually, he's a chipmunk. - Yeah. 579 00:39:14,100 --> 00:39:15,268 Now, I've done a bit of research 580 00:39:15,351 --> 00:39:17,103 and I can see that you're quite a private man. 581 00:39:17,186 --> 00:39:19,737 - Is that right? - Well, I like to keep a line... 582 00:39:19,772 --> 00:39:23,943 I think that's great. That's brilliant, but today, let's get behind the mask. 583 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,363 I don't think there really is a mask, as such. 584 00:39:27,446 --> 00:39:29,782 I don't mean to be a pain, but what I really want to talk about today 585 00:39:29,817 --> 00:39:30,950 is the new musical... 586 00:39:30,992 --> 00:39:32,618 - Yeah. ... and keep it about the work. 587 00:39:32,653 --> 00:39:34,537 - Is that all right? - Okay. 588 00:39:34,620 --> 00:39:36,873 First question. Are you Jewish? 589 00:39:38,374 --> 00:39:41,043 I don't see what the relevance of that is. 590 00:39:41,878 --> 00:39:44,797 Okay. Well, fine. Second question. 591 00:39:44,881 --> 00:39:47,425 The hamster thing that you play in the film... 592 00:39:47,550 --> 00:39:49,635 - It's a chipmunk. - Whatever. 593 00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,137 Is that gay? 594 00:39:52,388 --> 00:39:56,142 - It's a chipmunk. - I know, yeah, but is it a gay chipmunk? 595 00:39:57,393 --> 00:40:00,187 Look, it's a kids' cartoon. It's just a chipmunk, okay? 596 00:40:00,222 --> 00:40:02,648 I mean, I don't think chipmunks can be gay. 597 00:40:02,773 --> 00:40:06,193 All right. So it's straight. It's a straight chipmunk. 598 00:40:06,485 --> 00:40:09,322 - Yeah, absolutely. - Okay. Got that. So... 599 00:40:12,408 --> 00:40:13,826 Are you gay? 600 00:40:18,915 --> 00:40:20,082 I was... 601 00:40:21,292 --> 00:40:22,466 I was trying to probe. 602 00:40:22,501 --> 00:40:26,005 You want to probe, become a proctologist. 603 00:40:30,009 --> 00:40:35,514 You can't ask a musical comedy star whether he's Jewish or gay. 604 00:40:35,549 --> 00:40:39,852 From now on, just assume they are all Jewish and all gay. 605 00:40:40,019 --> 00:40:41,520 - Okay? - All right. 606 00:40:50,029 --> 00:40:52,948 No, I'd love this, but I'm so fat I couldn't. 607 00:40:53,032 --> 00:40:55,534 - Get out of here. - You look totally rexy. 608 00:40:55,701 --> 00:40:57,203 That's so sweet. 609 00:41:03,376 --> 00:41:06,295 I don't mean to be rude, Sidney, but what the fuck do you want? 610 00:41:06,379 --> 00:41:07,630 You know how things work here. 611 00:41:07,713 --> 00:41:10,049 How am I going to get a piece in the magazine? 612 00:41:10,084 --> 00:41:12,673 I thought all this fluff was beneath you. 613 00:41:12,708 --> 00:41:15,262 It is beneath me, but things have changed. 614 00:41:15,721 --> 00:41:17,098 What's changed? 615 00:41:17,223 --> 00:41:19,523 Well, I know everybody thinks I'm a bit of an idiot. 616 00:41:19,558 --> 00:41:23,604 Okay, and maybe I didn't have the best start here, but I want... 617 00:41:24,230 --> 00:41:25,564 I want... 618 00:41:25,731 --> 00:41:29,235 I want to have sex with Sophie Maes before Maddox does. 619 00:41:31,946 --> 00:41:33,906 You're loathsome, do you know that? 620 00:41:33,989 --> 00:41:36,742 I know he's got a bit of a head start, but I think I can win her back. 621 00:41:36,777 --> 00:41:39,912 'Cause once I get my hooks into a girl, she never gets free. 622 00:41:39,995 --> 00:41:41,914 - Like ringworm. - Lf you like. 623 00:41:44,583 --> 00:41:46,085 Where are you going? 624 00:41:51,340 --> 00:41:54,427 You, buddy. You big corporate dick-lick. 625 00:42:00,891 --> 00:42:04,603 Hello, I'd like to apply for a MasterCard, please. 626 00:42:05,438 --> 00:42:08,607 Yeah. Hon Sidney Young. 627 00:42:10,109 --> 00:42:14,780 Hon. H-O-N. It's short for "Honorable. " Yeah, it's a British title. 628 00:42:15,990 --> 00:42:18,582 The Queen? Yeah, I know the Queen. 629 00:42:18,617 --> 00:42:21,120 She used to be in my break-dancing posse. 630 00:42:21,287 --> 00:42:22,872 She's a body-popper more than anything. 631 00:42:25,207 --> 00:42:26,542 Fuck! 632 00:42:29,044 --> 00:42:31,463 Well, hello. Cuba! 633 00:42:33,132 --> 00:42:34,800 He likes you. 634 00:42:35,551 --> 00:42:37,803 So, how's it feel to be a star? 635 00:42:37,970 --> 00:42:41,724 No, don't, it's so embarrassing. God. Those pictures are everywhere now, 636 00:42:41,807 --> 00:42:44,643 and I had no idea that, that dress was so see-through. 637 00:42:44,685 --> 00:42:47,271 Plus, everybody's talking about it like it was some kind of stunt. 638 00:42:47,396 --> 00:42:49,106 Such a cynical age. 639 00:42:49,607 --> 00:42:51,317 Hello, Sidney. 640 00:42:56,071 --> 00:42:59,325 Hi, I was just looking for my, you know... 641 00:42:59,658 --> 00:43:00,910 I didn't know you were coming in today. 642 00:43:00,993 --> 00:43:02,995 Lawrence is taking us to lunch at Cipriani. 643 00:43:03,829 --> 00:43:05,080 That's nice. 644 00:43:05,331 --> 00:43:08,334 Lawrence, can I leave Cuba here? He doesn't like Italian food. 645 00:43:08,375 --> 00:43:10,836 Of course you can. He can stay in my office. 646 00:43:11,170 --> 00:43:14,590 Sidney, fetch Cuba a bowl of water. 647 00:43:14,673 --> 00:43:16,717 - Will you? - Of course. 648 00:43:23,849 --> 00:43:25,851 That is a lovely ring. 649 00:43:26,518 --> 00:43:30,356 - Where is that from? - It was my mother's. She gave it to me. 650 00:43:31,023 --> 00:43:34,526 You sweetie. That is very, very... 651 00:43:36,195 --> 00:43:37,529 So, listen. 652 00:43:38,906 --> 00:43:41,617 You've met Vincent Lepak, haven't you, Sidney? 653 00:43:41,742 --> 00:43:43,327 - Yeah. - Yeah. 654 00:43:43,369 --> 00:43:46,288 See, he has a new movie coming out soon, 655 00:43:46,372 --> 00:43:50,042 and Lawrence is overstretched as it is. 656 00:43:51,418 --> 00:43:53,879 How would you like to do the feature on him? 657 00:43:56,382 --> 00:43:59,051 Yeah, I would, actually. Yes, I'd like that very much. 658 00:43:59,086 --> 00:44:00,511 Well, great. 659 00:44:02,096 --> 00:44:04,890 Maybe we can get together and discuss the angle. 660 00:44:04,925 --> 00:44:05,974 Okay. 661 00:44:07,726 --> 00:44:09,478 What do you mean, "angle"? 662 00:44:10,562 --> 00:44:13,148 Well, I'd need to know how we're going to present Vincent. 663 00:44:13,232 --> 00:44:15,401 You know, check the story and so on. 664 00:44:16,568 --> 00:44:18,904 Are you saying you want copy approval? 665 00:44:19,571 --> 00:44:21,907 Any stories written about my clients 666 00:44:21,990 --> 00:44:24,743 need to be in their best interest, that's all. 667 00:44:25,285 --> 00:44:28,080 I mean, if things work out with Vincent, 668 00:44:28,414 --> 00:44:31,500 maybe we can talk about a follow-up story on Sophie. 669 00:44:32,918 --> 00:44:34,586 What do you think? 670 00:44:37,423 --> 00:44:39,883 I'm sorry, Eleanor, I don't work that way. 671 00:44:41,927 --> 00:44:44,263 Sidney, dear... 672 00:44:44,930 --> 00:44:48,600 Think of it like this. You write about one of my clients, 673 00:44:49,351 --> 00:44:51,770 you are borrowing some of their starlight 674 00:44:51,895 --> 00:44:53,939 to help sell your magazine. 675 00:44:54,273 --> 00:44:56,442 All I'm saying is quid pro quo. 676 00:44:57,609 --> 00:44:59,778 Sorry. "Starlight"? 677 00:45:10,122 --> 00:45:13,542 I just don't usually eat carbs. It's delicious. 678 00:45:23,469 --> 00:45:26,805 Hello, Cuba. Hello. 679 00:45:27,806 --> 00:45:31,810 It's Uncle Sidney. Come to see how you are. Yes. 680 00:45:32,811 --> 00:45:34,146 What's this? 681 00:45:34,813 --> 00:45:36,732 Would you like a little play? Would you like a little play? 682 00:45:37,983 --> 00:45:40,319 Would you like a little play? 683 00:45:40,652 --> 00:45:41,737 Fetch. 684 00:45:42,321 --> 00:45:44,823 There you go. That's it. That's it. 685 00:45:45,490 --> 00:45:48,160 Well done. Well done. 686 00:45:48,660 --> 00:45:50,829 You and me are going to be pals, aren't we? 687 00:45:50,864 --> 00:45:53,165 Yes, we're going to be pals, yes. 688 00:45:53,248 --> 00:45:54,833 You're going to like me much, much better 689 00:45:54,917 --> 00:45:57,836 than that prick Maddox, aren't you? Yes, you are. Yes, you are. 690 00:45:57,871 --> 00:46:00,005 Okay. Ready? Ready? 691 00:46:06,845 --> 00:46:08,931 Oh, no! 692 00:46:36,875 --> 00:46:38,377 Come on! 693 00:46:39,711 --> 00:46:42,881 Shit! Come on! Come on! 694 00:46:42,965 --> 00:46:44,383 That's my bag. 695 00:46:45,050 --> 00:46:46,468 Yeah, I was going to borrow it for a second. 696 00:46:46,551 --> 00:46:47,684 What are you talking about? 697 00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:49,638 I'll bring it right back. I was just going to put... 698 00:46:49,721 --> 00:46:51,056 - Give me my bag. - Just let me borrow it. 699 00:46:51,091 --> 00:46:53,141 No. Give me my bag. 700 00:46:53,225 --> 00:46:54,726 Give me my... 701 00:46:55,060 --> 00:46:56,728 Oh, my God! 702 00:46:59,481 --> 00:47:01,483 - It was an accident. - What did you do? 703 00:47:01,566 --> 00:47:04,194 I was trying to make friends, and then it was... 704 00:47:04,229 --> 00:47:06,822 Don't tell her. Okay, just please don't tell her. 705 00:47:06,905 --> 00:47:08,573 Cuba! 706 00:47:08,740 --> 00:47:10,492 Sorry, have you seen this little Chihuahua... 707 00:47:10,575 --> 00:47:12,160 Fucking heck! 708 00:47:13,912 --> 00:47:15,997 Cuba? Cuba? 709 00:47:16,032 --> 00:47:18,083 Cuba? Cuba! 710 00:47:18,250 --> 00:47:20,085 What are you doing? 711 00:47:20,919 --> 00:47:23,088 - You just can't... Alison? 712 00:47:24,256 --> 00:47:26,591 - Have you seen Cuba? - What? 713 00:47:26,626 --> 00:47:28,927 Have you seen Sophie's dog? 714 00:47:29,010 --> 00:47:30,595 Oh, uh... 715 00:47:34,599 --> 00:47:36,066 No. No idea. 716 00:47:36,101 --> 00:47:37,401 Well, come and help us find him. 717 00:47:37,436 --> 00:47:39,771 Don't worry. He couldn't have gone too far. 718 00:47:39,806 --> 00:47:41,857 Cuba! Cuba! 719 00:47:57,038 --> 00:48:00,459 - Clayton, have you got a minute? - Did they find that rat yet? 720 00:48:01,042 --> 00:48:02,294 I don't... 721 00:48:02,878 --> 00:48:06,631 No, not yet. It probably just got out the building. 722 00:48:07,799 --> 00:48:10,385 Congratulations on the Man of the Year thing. 723 00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:12,936 - How was lunch? - I don't know. 724 00:48:12,971 --> 00:48:15,891 $1,000 a plate, all I could taste was ass. 725 00:48:15,974 --> 00:48:18,727 I'm kissing their ass. They're kissing my ass. 726 00:48:19,394 --> 00:48:21,480 I get this dream sometimes. 727 00:48:22,647 --> 00:48:25,484 Someone's set fire to the building. 728 00:48:26,485 --> 00:48:29,654 Heywood, Sharps magazine, the whole thing up in flames. 729 00:48:30,405 --> 00:48:33,074 My analyst, he thinks it's an anxiety dream. 730 00:48:34,910 --> 00:48:38,747 I never let him know how happy I am watching the fucker burn. 731 00:48:40,499 --> 00:48:41,750 What do you want? 732 00:48:41,833 --> 00:48:44,503 I want to write a story about Vincent Lepak, okay? 733 00:48:44,586 --> 00:48:46,922 Not a puff piece. Something funny, with teeth. 734 00:48:47,005 --> 00:48:49,090 Like Snipe would have done. 735 00:48:49,841 --> 00:48:50,926 Everyone's treating him 736 00:48:51,009 --> 00:48:52,928 like he's some sort of a genius and he's not. He's an idiot. 737 00:48:53,011 --> 00:48:54,978 Look at these things. 738 00:48:55,013 --> 00:48:58,350 How'd I get a closet full of blue fucking shirts? 739 00:48:58,767 --> 00:49:00,185 I don't know. 740 00:49:00,352 --> 00:49:01,937 I don't know, either. 741 00:49:02,687 --> 00:49:05,523 This is an office, for God's sake. 742 00:49:05,857 --> 00:49:08,443 Why have I even got a fucking closet? 743 00:49:15,033 --> 00:49:16,166 Do it. 744 00:49:16,201 --> 00:49:18,036 - Do it? - Fuck it, yeah. 745 00:49:18,119 --> 00:49:20,705 Do it. He's an annoying little prick. 746 00:49:21,373 --> 00:49:23,208 We'll take him down. 747 00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:27,545 - This is your shot. - Thanks, Clayton. 748 00:49:27,712 --> 00:49:30,548 - You're my little hit man. - Yeah, I am your little hit man. 749 00:49:30,632 --> 00:49:32,217 - Go do it. - Okay. 750 00:49:34,886 --> 00:49:36,471 Hey, you could call me the Jackal. 751 00:49:36,554 --> 00:49:37,889 - Out! - Okay. 752 00:50:42,203 --> 00:50:44,421 - Mr. Young? - Yes. 753 00:50:44,456 --> 00:50:48,042 I'm Sophie Maes' assistant. I'm afraid Sophie isn't here right now. 754 00:50:48,126 --> 00:50:49,961 Yeah. Well, I know she's here, okay? 755 00:50:50,044 --> 00:50:53,715 I'm not a stalker. I just know she's upset because she lost her dog. 756 00:50:53,798 --> 00:50:55,265 She isn't here. 757 00:50:55,300 --> 00:50:59,137 All right, well, can you please just find out if she got my present? 758 00:50:59,172 --> 00:51:00,305 Okay... 759 00:51:01,473 --> 00:51:03,940 Did you send the flowers? 760 00:51:03,975 --> 00:51:07,228 Flowers? Yeah, 'cause she doesn't get enough flowers, does she? 761 00:51:07,312 --> 00:51:09,063 I sent the fish. 762 00:51:09,397 --> 00:51:10,398 Oh. 763 00:51:11,316 --> 00:51:14,402 You know, goldfish, in a bowl. Did she get them? 764 00:51:15,487 --> 00:51:17,989 Yes, but they were dead. 765 00:51:21,075 --> 00:51:24,579 - All of them? - Yeah. It was kind of shocking, actually. 766 00:51:25,330 --> 00:51:26,831 Were they dead when you sent them? 767 00:51:27,999 --> 00:51:30,001 No! Who sends people dead fish? 768 00:51:32,003 --> 00:51:33,421 The Mafia. 769 00:51:39,010 --> 00:51:40,678 Oh, my God. 770 00:51:41,429 --> 00:51:45,016 - You're, like, a serial killer. - No, no, no. That wasn't me. 771 00:51:45,350 --> 00:51:47,769 Look, I laid him to rest. 772 00:51:48,686 --> 00:51:49,687 Cuba. 773 00:51:49,854 --> 00:51:53,775 - I took him out to the... - I don't want to know! 774 00:51:54,192 --> 00:51:56,694 - You might not want your bag back. - Stop. 775 00:51:56,778 --> 00:52:01,282 Sorry. Also, just the whole, you know, not telling them thing. 776 00:52:01,366 --> 00:52:03,034 I just wanted to say... 777 00:52:03,368 --> 00:52:04,369 I appreciate that 778 00:52:04,536 --> 00:52:06,287 because you didn't have to do it. And a lot of people probably 779 00:52:06,371 --> 00:52:09,374 wouldn't have done it, but... Why didn't you? 780 00:52:09,541 --> 00:52:12,293 You don't need my help to screw up here, Sidney. 781 00:52:12,377 --> 00:52:14,712 I mean, the only thing you make are mistakes. 782 00:52:14,747 --> 00:52:16,798 And stains. 783 00:52:18,216 --> 00:52:19,551 May I help you? 784 00:52:20,051 --> 00:52:22,053 Just a couple of straws, please. 785 00:52:24,806 --> 00:52:27,141 Hey, listen. Let me ask you, what is it with this book? 786 00:52:27,225 --> 00:52:30,812 You're always writing in it. What is it, like a diary? Am I in it? 787 00:52:31,229 --> 00:52:34,148 It's a novel I'm working on. All right? 788 00:52:34,232 --> 00:52:36,234 - Wow. - Yeah, go ahead, I know. 789 00:52:36,317 --> 00:52:38,403 - I'm a walking cliche. - No, not at all. 790 00:52:38,438 --> 00:52:39,702 That's very impressive. 791 00:52:39,737 --> 00:52:42,156 - And you're writing that by hand? - Yeah. 792 00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:46,494 It's... I don't know, it keeps it separate from the magazine work. 793 00:52:46,577 --> 00:52:48,246 Makes it seem special. 794 00:52:49,747 --> 00:52:51,165 You're full of surprises, sister. 795 00:52:52,917 --> 00:52:55,503 White Russian. Are you waiting for your boyfriend? 796 00:52:55,586 --> 00:52:58,256 Yeah, he'll be here soon, so... 797 00:52:58,756 --> 00:53:01,843 What does he do, this mystery guy? Is he like a hack, too? 798 00:53:01,926 --> 00:53:06,764 - Actually, he's a poet. - Oh, is he? What does he look like? 799 00:53:06,848 --> 00:53:08,064 - What? - Well, you know, poets, 800 00:53:08,099 --> 00:53:09,899 they're not known for being that good-looking, 801 00:53:09,934 --> 00:53:13,021 'cause they're always in dark rooms and they look like Gollum and... 802 00:53:13,104 --> 00:53:14,856 - He's probably... - He's very handsome. 803 00:53:14,939 --> 00:53:16,774 - Thank you. - Of course he is. 804 00:53:17,608 --> 00:53:19,193 You know what I don't understand? 805 00:53:19,277 --> 00:53:20,910 You're so desperate to get a story in the magazine, 806 00:53:20,945 --> 00:53:24,532 so why wouldn't you play ball with Eleanor? Write the puff piece? 807 00:53:24,615 --> 00:53:29,037 Well, I just resent being bribed to gush sycophantically about a star. 808 00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,205 I choose to gush sycophantically. 809 00:53:31,789 --> 00:53:33,624 - Okay. - Anyway, Clayton's given me a story, 810 00:53:33,659 --> 00:53:36,377 - so I'm on my way. - Well, that's good. 811 00:53:36,461 --> 00:53:38,261 ...after these messages. 812 00:53:38,296 --> 00:53:42,633 In a world where passion is forbidden and belief divine, 813 00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:46,804 the love she withheld from a man she gave to all mankind. 814 00:53:46,971 --> 00:53:50,725 You've given yourself to Christ, my child. 815 00:53:50,808 --> 00:53:53,109 But I love him. 816 00:53:53,144 --> 00:53:54,979 How can it be wrong? 817 00:53:55,813 --> 00:53:58,649 I believe in love. That is all we have. 818 00:53:58,816 --> 00:54:01,652 And we must give it wherever it is most needed. 819 00:54:01,736 --> 00:54:04,655 Sometimes, before you can find God, 820 00:54:04,690 --> 00:54:07,158 you have to find the world. 821 00:54:07,241 --> 00:54:08,409 Calcutta. 822 00:54:08,493 --> 00:54:10,995 Stand up, Mother Teresa. 823 00:54:11,913 --> 00:54:14,707 Sophie Maes is Mother Teresa 824 00:54:14,742 --> 00:54:17,502 in The Making of a Saint. 825 00:54:17,835 --> 00:54:20,004 Coming soon to a theater near you. 826 00:54:22,006 --> 00:54:26,844 Anyway, I better shoot off, leave you in peace with your poet. 827 00:54:27,178 --> 00:54:28,679 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 828 00:54:30,848 --> 00:54:32,767 I've still got the receipt, so... 829 00:54:42,026 --> 00:54:45,029 Which makes it a half a page left. 830 00:54:45,696 --> 00:54:47,782 Lawrence, any ideas? 831 00:54:47,865 --> 00:54:49,784 Yeah. Rachel Petkoff. 832 00:54:50,535 --> 00:54:52,370 Fabulous '70s actress. 833 00:54:52,537 --> 00:54:54,705 One of my all-time favorites. 834 00:54:54,789 --> 00:54:58,209 Just made a movie called Five Boroughs. 835 00:54:58,376 --> 00:55:00,878 I think she's poised for a comeback. 836 00:55:01,045 --> 00:55:03,881 And I think we should get there first. Do a piece. 837 00:55:04,048 --> 00:55:06,133 Sounds good. Let's do it. 838 00:55:06,551 --> 00:55:08,553 Okay, that's it, people. 839 00:55:10,555 --> 00:55:11,722 Clayton. 840 00:55:12,473 --> 00:55:13,523 What? 841 00:55:13,558 --> 00:55:16,060 Did you read my piece on Vincent Lepak? 842 00:55:16,894 --> 00:55:19,063 What? Yeah, that... 843 00:55:21,065 --> 00:55:22,483 That's not going to work. 844 00:55:22,567 --> 00:55:25,868 And for those of you who haven't heard, 845 00:55:25,903 --> 00:55:28,656 Alison will be running the "I Spy" section from now on 846 00:55:28,739 --> 00:55:31,492 as Lawrence here is moving up in the world. 847 00:55:31,576 --> 00:55:34,412 He's replacing Greg Roberts as deputy editor. 848 00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:44,755 Way to go, Lawrence. - Thanks. 849 00:55:45,423 --> 00:55:46,507 Congratulations. 850 00:55:46,590 --> 00:55:48,759 Hey, I'm sorry, Rachel Petkoff is one of your favorite actresses? 851 00:55:48,843 --> 00:55:51,762 You'd never fucking heard of her. That was my idea. 852 00:55:51,797 --> 00:55:53,597 Well, so it was, yes. 853 00:55:55,433 --> 00:55:57,518 If you have any more good ideas, don't forget to bring them 854 00:55:57,601 --> 00:55:59,103 by my new office. 855 00:56:02,940 --> 00:56:05,693 By the way, there have been complaints 856 00:56:05,776 --> 00:56:07,778 about you skulking around the water cooler, 857 00:56:07,813 --> 00:56:09,078 trying to talk to women. 858 00:56:09,113 --> 00:56:11,449 - I mean, that's inappropriate behavior. - What? 859 00:56:11,484 --> 00:56:13,367 You spend your life chatting up the staff. 860 00:56:13,451 --> 00:56:15,369 When I do it, it's called flirting. 861 00:56:15,453 --> 00:56:17,538 When you do it, it's called sexual harassment. 862 00:56:17,621 --> 00:56:22,126 Consider this an official warning. I will not tolerate sexist behavior. 863 00:56:31,802 --> 00:56:34,221 I know that wasn't Greg's way of working, 864 00:56:34,305 --> 00:56:38,893 but Greg isn't deputy editor anymore. I am. 865 00:56:40,144 --> 00:56:42,563 And I am making changes. 866 00:56:45,983 --> 00:56:47,818 - What? - Hi, Lawrence. 867 00:56:47,985 --> 00:56:50,654 There's a lady here that's been looking for you. 868 00:56:51,238 --> 00:56:53,657 - Can I help you? - Are you Lawrence Maddox? 869 00:56:53,692 --> 00:56:55,958 - The new deputy editor? - Yes. 870 00:56:55,993 --> 00:56:58,829 I'm here to congratulate you on your promotion. 871 00:56:58,996 --> 00:57:01,499 Thank you. I'm sorry, you are? 872 00:57:03,334 --> 00:57:04,919 I'm your present. 873 00:57:06,754 --> 00:57:08,923 Lawrence, this is inappropriate behavior, 874 00:57:09,006 --> 00:57:10,091 wouldn't you say? 875 00:57:10,174 --> 00:57:12,510 This is wrong. I should record this. 876 00:57:12,676 --> 00:57:13,976 Such a misuse of company time. 877 00:57:14,011 --> 00:57:15,930 - Sidney, stop. - I'm not doing anything. 878 00:57:16,347 --> 00:57:18,015 Holy Christ! 879 00:57:19,433 --> 00:57:21,268 - Hey, Mrs. Harding. - Hi, Ingrid. 880 00:57:21,352 --> 00:57:24,021 Oh, my God. So adorable. 881 00:57:24,188 --> 00:57:25,940 This is Ingrid from the fashion department. 882 00:57:26,023 --> 00:57:28,859 - You're getting so big. - Where's Mr. Maddox now? 883 00:57:29,193 --> 00:57:30,611 He moved to Room 217. 884 00:57:30,694 --> 00:57:32,613 - It's just over there. - Okay. 885 00:57:32,648 --> 00:57:34,532 - Bye. - Bye. Come on, girls. 886 00:57:34,567 --> 00:57:36,283 Let's go see Mr. Maddox. 887 00:57:36,700 --> 00:57:39,370 My God! My Lord above! 888 00:57:39,537 --> 00:57:42,373 This is terrible. Oh, good Lord! 889 00:57:44,708 --> 00:57:48,379 There's a surprise. Look at his face. Wow! 890 00:57:49,046 --> 00:57:50,548 What do you think... 891 00:57:53,217 --> 00:57:54,718 Mrs. Harding. 892 00:57:55,553 --> 00:57:56,720 Girls. 893 00:57:57,638 --> 00:57:59,223 Bobbie. - What? 894 00:58:10,734 --> 00:58:12,403 I've got cock on my hand. 895 00:58:13,153 --> 00:58:15,155 I see what you're saying. Whatever you like. There's gonna be 896 00:58:15,239 --> 00:58:17,873 - plenty of time before we lock it in... - That's great. 897 00:58:17,908 --> 00:58:21,495 ...so if you want to change it... - All right. Love to hear that. 898 00:58:28,252 --> 00:58:29,587 Get in. 899 00:58:34,758 --> 00:58:37,059 I didn't know it was Take Our Daughters to Work Day. 900 00:58:37,094 --> 00:58:39,179 I didn't know there was a Take Our Daughters to Work Day. 901 00:58:39,263 --> 00:58:40,598 Shut up. 902 00:58:43,183 --> 00:58:47,562 You know, when I told my wife I'd hired another Brit, she was excited. 903 00:58:47,597 --> 00:58:51,942 She still thinks you're all like something out of Pride And Prejudice. 904 00:58:51,977 --> 00:58:53,909 But after what she just saw in that room, 905 00:58:53,944 --> 00:58:58,616 now she thinks you're a British person born in New Jersey. 906 00:59:00,951 --> 00:59:04,455 - Why did I hire you? - I don't know. Why did you hire me? 907 00:59:05,456 --> 00:59:09,793 I had an attack of nostalgia. But it's passed. Like gas. 908 00:59:10,461 --> 00:59:12,546 - What was wrong with my story? - What? 909 00:59:12,629 --> 00:59:14,263 Why did you kill my Vincent Lepak story? 910 00:59:14,298 --> 00:59:16,800 Sidney, it wasn't good enough. Simple as that. 911 00:59:16,835 --> 00:59:18,052 Wasn't good enough? 912 00:59:18,135 --> 00:59:20,220 - We don't do hatchet jobs here. - Come on. 913 00:59:20,304 --> 00:59:22,806 - It wasn't a hatchet job. - Your opening quotation, 914 00:59:22,841 --> 00:59:25,225 "It's only too easy to catch people's attention 915 00:59:25,309 --> 00:59:29,646 "by doing something worse than anyone else has dared do it before. " 916 00:59:29,681 --> 00:59:32,066 Who are you thinking of here? Yourself or Vincent? 917 00:59:32,149 --> 00:59:34,151 He is a talentless, pretentious little twat, 918 00:59:34,234 --> 00:59:36,070 who thinks that cinema began with Tarantino. 919 00:59:36,153 --> 00:59:38,822 And somebody needed to say that. You told me to do something with teeth. 920 00:59:38,906 --> 00:59:42,659 I'm trying to run a fucking magazine here. 921 00:59:43,660 --> 00:59:47,498 "A free press is the last defense against the tyranny of stupidity. " 922 00:59:47,533 --> 00:59:49,798 Save me your tin-pot philosophy. 923 00:59:49,833 --> 00:59:53,170 It's not mine. It's yours. First issue of Snipe. 924 00:59:54,671 --> 00:59:56,840 Would you grow the fuck up? 925 00:59:56,924 --> 01:00:00,010 You are not Robin Hood. You never were. 926 01:00:01,011 --> 01:00:02,679 You bitch about famous people 927 01:00:02,763 --> 01:00:05,182 for the same reason I used to bitch about them. 928 01:00:05,265 --> 01:00:08,769 Because they got invited to the party and you didn't. 929 01:00:08,852 --> 01:00:11,939 Well, Sidney, you're at the party now. 930 01:00:13,190 --> 01:00:15,859 Quit your bitching and do your fucking job. 931 01:00:17,528 --> 01:00:20,030 You're on your last life here. Do you understand that? 932 01:00:20,114 --> 01:00:22,950 One more fuck-up like today, you are gone. 933 01:00:25,536 --> 01:00:29,039 Won't you have to run a decision like that past Eleanor first? 934 01:00:30,207 --> 01:00:31,542 Get out. 935 01:00:46,557 --> 01:00:49,142 I can't believe you hired Bob as a stripper. 936 01:00:49,226 --> 01:00:51,395 I didn't hire him. She did it as a favor. 937 01:00:51,478 --> 01:00:53,730 I thought you wanted to be a success here. 938 01:00:53,814 --> 01:00:59,236 I do. It wasn't me. It was Clark. Oh, your alias, right. 939 01:01:01,405 --> 01:01:04,157 I don't think Clayton's going to publish anything I write, you know? 940 01:01:04,241 --> 01:01:07,035 I've been on salary for four months now, 941 01:01:07,070 --> 01:01:09,830 and I've written probably 175 words. 942 01:01:09,913 --> 01:01:11,665 I think, dollar-per-words basis, 943 01:01:11,748 --> 01:01:14,918 I am the highest-paid writer in the history of this magazine. 944 01:01:14,953 --> 01:01:17,337 He's not going to renew my contract. 945 01:01:17,421 --> 01:01:20,257 Well, what do you expect? 946 01:01:20,424 --> 01:01:22,175 I mean, Vincent's one of Eleanor's clients. 947 01:01:22,259 --> 01:01:24,094 I told you, they're untouchables. 948 01:01:24,177 --> 01:01:26,513 I just thought Clayton was different, you know? I really did. 949 01:01:26,597 --> 01:01:28,265 The only thing I'm good at is pissing people off 950 01:01:28,348 --> 01:01:30,350 and he won't even let me do that. 951 01:01:30,434 --> 01:01:32,936 "My glory walks hand in hand with my doom. " 952 01:01:34,354 --> 01:01:35,689 Troy. 953 01:01:36,607 --> 01:01:38,942 - Troy who? - Troy the movie. 954 01:01:41,778 --> 01:01:44,281 Clayton only invited me here, so I could be shunned. 955 01:01:44,316 --> 01:01:46,033 Everybody hates me. 956 01:01:46,450 --> 01:01:48,201 You're the only one that will talk to me. 957 01:01:48,285 --> 01:01:50,537 - You cornered me. - I'm serious. 958 01:01:52,289 --> 01:01:54,041 Do you want another drink? 959 01:01:54,625 --> 01:01:56,793 Yeah, I'll have a half of lager. 960 01:02:13,477 --> 01:02:15,145 Sophie, darling! 961 01:02:17,481 --> 01:02:19,149 Ravishing as ever. 962 01:02:20,984 --> 01:02:22,069 We were just talking. 963 01:02:22,152 --> 01:02:24,071 Did you all know that Lawrence published a book of poetry? 964 01:02:24,154 --> 01:02:25,405 No. - Called The Hollow Heart. 965 01:02:25,489 --> 01:02:29,159 - You write poems? - In another lifetime. You know, dabble. 966 01:02:29,493 --> 01:02:31,995 - Cointreau? - Right here. Thank you. 967 01:02:32,829 --> 01:02:34,998 - And the White Russian? Right here. 968 01:02:36,500 --> 01:02:38,585 Well, well, if it isn't Sidalee. 969 01:02:38,668 --> 01:02:41,171 What time does the stripper come on? 970 01:02:43,340 --> 01:02:45,008 Shut up, Maddox. 971 01:02:46,843 --> 01:02:49,346 Where's your sense of humor, Sidney? 972 01:02:55,852 --> 01:02:58,688 Choke! Choke! 973 01:02:59,689 --> 01:03:01,942 Choke! Choke! 974 01:03:03,026 --> 01:03:06,029 Choke! Choke! 975 01:03:08,365 --> 01:03:10,033 Hi, Mrs. Harding. 976 01:03:13,703 --> 01:03:14,704 Hi. 977 01:03:16,873 --> 01:03:19,042 Lovely party. Happy Fourth! 978 01:03:22,462 --> 01:03:23,547 Jesus! 979 01:03:24,464 --> 01:03:28,385 Has anyone ever told you before that you have an unusually dark aura? 980 01:03:28,718 --> 01:03:29,719 Yes. 981 01:03:31,221 --> 01:03:33,890 You should walk with bare feet as much as possible. 982 01:03:33,974 --> 01:03:36,476 Ground all that negative energy. 983 01:03:38,061 --> 01:03:40,230 What are you, a wizard or what? 984 01:03:40,397 --> 01:03:43,733 - I'm a spiritual healer. - Can you make a living out of that? 985 01:03:45,235 --> 01:03:47,737 Oh, God, no. I'm a dentist. 986 01:03:51,074 --> 01:03:53,076 You want to do some coke? 987 01:03:58,248 --> 01:04:01,585 Yankee Doodle went to town 988 01:04:01,668 --> 01:04:04,838 Riding on a pony 989 01:04:05,255 --> 01:04:08,425 Stuck a feather in his cap 990 01:04:08,508 --> 01:04:11,761 And called it macaroni 991 01:04:11,928 --> 01:04:15,390 Yankee Doodle, keep it up 992 01:04:15,425 --> 01:04:18,852 England! England! England! 993 01:04:19,269 --> 01:04:23,106 England! England! England! 994 01:04:23,356 --> 01:04:28,278 England! Oi, Orlando! You used to be English. 995 01:04:28,313 --> 01:04:31,448 England! England! England! 996 01:04:31,531 --> 01:04:34,451 England! England! 997 01:04:34,534 --> 01:04:35,619 Fuck! 998 01:04:52,469 --> 01:04:53,887 You okay? 999 01:04:53,970 --> 01:04:56,389 - What? - I said, are you okay? 1000 01:04:56,473 --> 01:04:58,058 Yeah, I'm fine. 1001 01:04:58,725 --> 01:05:00,060 - You? - Yeah. 1002 01:05:01,311 --> 01:05:04,147 No, actually, I'm not. I hate my life, so, you know, 1003 01:05:04,182 --> 01:05:05,398 I'm going to get drunk. 1004 01:05:05,482 --> 01:05:07,817 Right, well... I'll see you, then. 1005 01:05:12,155 --> 01:05:13,955 - How could you? - What? 1006 01:05:13,990 --> 01:05:15,825 How the... You and Maddox having an affair! 1007 01:05:17,077 --> 01:05:19,829 For Christ's sake! The man with hidden shallows! 1008 01:05:20,497 --> 01:05:22,666 I used to think... I just thought... 1009 01:05:23,500 --> 01:05:25,085 When I met you, I thought you were bit of a pain, 1010 01:05:25,168 --> 01:05:28,171 but I was really... God damn it! Maddox! 1011 01:05:28,505 --> 01:05:30,840 How can you live with yourself? 1012 01:05:31,341 --> 01:05:33,677 I couldn't. That's why I've broken up with him. 1013 01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:36,179 That's no... You broke up with him? 1014 01:05:43,186 --> 01:05:45,188 - Which leg did you hurt? - This one. 1015 01:05:46,356 --> 01:05:48,692 God! Fuck! God. 1016 01:06:08,795 --> 01:06:10,046 You know what? 1017 01:06:11,047 --> 01:06:13,383 There's something very damaged about you. 1018 01:06:16,970 --> 01:06:21,558 Like an animal that's been hit by a car or something. 1019 01:06:23,476 --> 01:06:25,228 Like a deer 1020 01:06:27,230 --> 01:06:29,566 or like a pig, maybe. 1021 01:06:30,733 --> 01:06:32,569 And they walk all funny, 1022 01:06:34,070 --> 01:06:36,573 and the other animals keep away from them. 1023 01:06:39,742 --> 01:06:42,579 Little, limpy pig. 1024 01:06:50,753 --> 01:06:52,839 I'm drawn to sick animals. 1025 01:06:54,340 --> 01:06:56,426 That's why I picked Cuba. 1026 01:06:57,760 --> 01:07:01,931 Because he had, like, psychological problems. 1027 01:07:06,102 --> 01:07:08,104 Poor little Cuba. 1028 01:07:09,606 --> 01:07:11,274 Where is he now? 1029 01:07:13,943 --> 01:07:18,114 Jesus, I'm wasted. Are you wasted? Because I'm really wasted. 1030 01:07:18,531 --> 01:07:20,116 I slept it off. 1031 01:07:22,285 --> 01:07:25,872 Congratulations on becoming incredibly famous, by the way. 1032 01:07:26,289 --> 01:07:27,624 Thanks. 1033 01:07:28,124 --> 01:07:30,460 - What's that like? - Weird. 1034 01:07:31,961 --> 01:07:34,297 It's all happening so fast, 1035 01:07:35,131 --> 01:07:38,301 and it sort of feels like it has nothing to do with me. 1036 01:07:38,968 --> 01:07:42,472 Kind of like I'm not really even here. 1037 01:07:52,482 --> 01:07:54,651 You know what would be nice, though? 1038 01:07:56,819 --> 01:07:58,237 Some coke. 1039 01:08:01,574 --> 01:08:04,494 It's probably just as well I don't have any, though. 1040 01:08:06,829 --> 01:08:09,248 Coke always makes me so horny. 1041 01:08:14,003 --> 01:08:16,422 Wizard! I need the wizard dentist! 1042 01:08:16,506 --> 01:08:18,841 I need the wizard... Not you. 1043 01:08:18,876 --> 01:08:21,010 The dentist wizard. 1044 01:08:21,177 --> 01:08:25,098 The wizard, have you seen him? He's like a wizard/dentist. 1045 01:08:27,850 --> 01:08:30,103 - Okay, all right. You got it. - Thank you! 1046 01:08:30,186 --> 01:08:31,854 Thank you so much. 1047 01:08:32,021 --> 01:08:33,356 It's okay. 1048 01:08:37,193 --> 01:08:40,697 I will never, never, never forget this. 1049 01:08:40,863 --> 01:08:42,365 It's okay. Really. 1050 01:08:49,038 --> 01:08:51,673 - What are you doing? - None of your business. 1051 01:08:51,708 --> 01:08:54,043 You can't drive like that, okay? Go just sleep it off. 1052 01:08:54,127 --> 01:08:57,630 Firstly, you are a stupid asshole and I hate you! 1053 01:08:57,714 --> 01:09:01,884 - And secondly, secondly... - Okay, okay, okay. 1054 01:09:01,968 --> 01:09:03,803 I hate you 'cause you're a stupid asshole. 1055 01:09:03,886 --> 01:09:06,472 Look, if you drive in this condition, you are going to kill yourself, okay? 1056 01:09:06,556 --> 01:09:10,059 I don't care if I did. I hate my life. 1057 01:09:11,060 --> 01:09:13,361 I got to go. I got to go. 1058 01:09:13,396 --> 01:09:16,232 - Just... Come on. Come here. - No, don't touch me. 1059 01:09:16,267 --> 01:09:19,735 I hate rental cars. I hate them. 1060 01:09:20,153 --> 01:09:23,739 No, give me the keys. I've got to go home. 1061 01:09:32,415 --> 01:09:35,168 I thought I had it all figured out. 1062 01:09:35,251 --> 01:09:38,719 A, get the hell out of Port Huron, come to New York. 1063 01:09:38,754 --> 01:09:43,426 B, do the serious journalism thing to pay the bills, while I write the novel. 1064 01:09:43,926 --> 01:09:45,928 C, win the Pulitzer. 1065 01:09:46,095 --> 01:09:47,597 - E. - D. 1066 01:09:48,431 --> 01:09:50,766 D, I don't know what D was. 1067 01:09:51,184 --> 01:09:53,936 Then I took the internship at Sharps and... 1068 01:09:55,271 --> 01:09:56,772 I met Maddox. 1069 01:09:58,608 --> 01:09:59,775 And then before you know it, 1070 01:09:59,859 --> 01:10:03,446 I'm writing Ten Tips for the Fucking Metrosexual 1071 01:10:03,481 --> 01:10:05,865 and pretending this is what I wanted. 1072 01:10:05,948 --> 01:10:08,201 - And that's why I hated you. - I didn't know you hated me. 1073 01:10:08,284 --> 01:10:11,704 You were right about me. I'm a ghoul writing fluff. 1074 01:10:11,787 --> 01:10:13,873 No, you're not a ghoul, okay? You're a zombie. 1075 01:10:13,956 --> 01:10:15,958 - A ghoul is like a ghost. - Fine. 1076 01:10:17,293 --> 01:10:19,295 I need a cigarette. Where are my cigarettes? 1077 01:10:19,378 --> 01:10:20,713 You don't smoke. 1078 01:10:22,131 --> 01:10:23,633 Oh, yeah. 1079 01:10:27,136 --> 01:10:29,889 When I told him I couldn't see him anymore, 1080 01:10:30,723 --> 01:10:32,475 I don't know if he cared. 1081 01:10:34,477 --> 01:10:36,979 I love him, and I don't know if he cares. 1082 01:10:40,816 --> 01:10:43,618 Look, I'm sure he does care, okay? 1083 01:10:43,653 --> 01:10:47,490 He's probably just not very good at expressing his emotions. 1084 01:10:49,158 --> 01:10:51,661 Okay, well, let's just calm down, okay? 1085 01:10:51,744 --> 01:10:54,330 Don't get snot everywhere, 'cause it's a rental. 1086 01:10:54,365 --> 01:10:55,665 Oh, God. 1087 01:10:56,499 --> 01:10:57,500 What? 1088 01:11:02,338 --> 01:11:04,006 That's grim! 1089 01:11:08,427 --> 01:11:10,429 No more steps, no. 1090 01:11:10,513 --> 01:11:14,100 Will you shut up? You're going to wake the old witch up. 1091 01:11:14,350 --> 01:11:16,936 No. Why are we stopping? 1092 01:11:17,019 --> 01:11:18,187 Hi. 1093 01:11:19,355 --> 01:11:22,650 - Did we wake you? Oh, God, I'm a whore! 1094 01:11:22,692 --> 01:11:25,236 I'm a whore! I'm a... 1095 01:11:26,696 --> 01:11:28,364 I'm a whore. 1096 01:11:29,031 --> 01:11:31,534 - I'm a whore! - Hello, Dad. 1097 01:11:44,547 --> 01:11:46,173 I love this song! 1098 01:11:48,050 --> 01:11:51,554 - She's not actually a prostitute. - Oh, good. 1099 01:11:56,892 --> 01:11:59,687 So, Sidney's dad. It's nice to meet you. 1100 01:11:59,729 --> 01:12:01,480 - I'm Alison. - Delighted to meet you. 1101 01:12:01,564 --> 01:12:04,066 - I'm from Port Huron. - Port Huron. 1102 01:12:04,150 --> 01:12:05,985 And you must be Sidney's mommy. 1103 01:12:06,068 --> 01:12:08,654 - No, I'm not! - Okay. 1104 01:12:08,738 --> 01:12:11,699 I mean, my dad remarried, too, so that's cool. 1105 01:12:12,074 --> 01:12:14,076 Where are my cigarettes? 1106 01:12:15,578 --> 01:12:17,079 What is this? 1107 01:12:18,956 --> 01:12:20,416 Hey, is this... 1108 01:12:21,083 --> 01:12:24,086 - I think it's probably cocaine. - Yeah, that... 1109 01:12:24,754 --> 01:12:29,091 It wasn't actually for me. I was going to give it to this young actress. 1110 01:12:31,093 --> 01:12:35,264 So, Mr. Sidney, what you doing here? 1111 01:12:35,931 --> 01:12:38,434 - Please, call me Richard. - Richard. 1112 01:12:38,517 --> 01:12:39,810 Well, I've 1113 01:12:40,436 --> 01:12:43,689 written a little book, and I'm doing some talks. 1114 01:12:43,772 --> 01:12:45,357 - I'm writing a book. - Yeah? 1115 01:12:45,441 --> 01:12:49,278 - What's yours about? - I write books on philosophy. 1116 01:12:49,445 --> 01:12:50,946 - Philosophy. - Ideas. 1117 01:12:51,113 --> 01:12:52,531 Oh, my God. 1118 01:12:53,449 --> 01:12:55,618 Richard Young? The... 1119 01:12:56,452 --> 01:12:58,252 You're R.C. Young? 1120 01:12:58,287 --> 01:13:00,664 You never said your dad was R.C. Young! 1121 01:13:00,789 --> 01:13:02,041 I brought you a copy of the book, Sidney. 1122 01:13:02,124 --> 01:13:03,757 I'd love to hear what you think. 1123 01:13:03,792 --> 01:13:05,628 What would Sidney know about philosophy? 1124 01:13:05,711 --> 01:13:08,464 He does have a master's in the subject. 1125 01:13:08,506 --> 01:13:10,090 You're shitting me! 1126 01:13:10,591 --> 01:13:13,302 He... He likes Con Air. 1127 01:13:17,348 --> 01:13:19,433 - I don't feel very good. - Come on. 1128 01:13:19,558 --> 01:13:21,644 - Time you were in bed. - Okay. 1129 01:13:22,311 --> 01:13:24,480 You can sleep on the couch. 1130 01:13:25,064 --> 01:13:27,816 It was a pleasure to meet you, Lord Young. 1131 01:13:30,653 --> 01:13:31,820 Lord? 1132 01:13:38,994 --> 01:13:40,788 You really should have said you were coming. 1133 01:13:40,829 --> 01:13:43,916 That would have required you answering one of my calls. 1134 01:13:44,750 --> 01:13:47,002 Yeah, well, I've been kind of busy. 1135 01:13:47,044 --> 01:13:48,629 Of course. Yes, I... 1136 01:13:49,338 --> 01:13:52,800 I picked up your magazine at the airport. Most enjoyable. 1137 01:13:52,841 --> 01:13:55,427 I particularly liked the young Hollywood actress 1138 01:13:55,511 --> 01:13:58,764 who said she would like to start her theater career somewhere small 1139 01:13:58,847 --> 01:14:01,684 like London or England. 1140 01:14:02,518 --> 01:14:05,187 - Why must you always do this? - It's just a little joke. 1141 01:14:05,271 --> 01:14:07,398 No, it's not a little joke, is it? 1142 01:14:07,523 --> 01:14:10,109 Basically, what you're saying is what I do is worthless. 1143 01:14:10,192 --> 01:14:11,325 I don't think it's worthless. 1144 01:14:11,360 --> 01:14:13,654 I just think that you know in your heart that you could be doing more 1145 01:14:13,696 --> 01:14:14,863 with your life. 1146 01:14:14,947 --> 01:14:16,031 More? 1147 01:14:16,115 --> 01:14:19,868 Sharps magazine is one of the most respected magazines in the world. 1148 01:14:19,903 --> 01:14:23,622 There's a million hacks that would give anything to be where I am. 1149 01:14:23,706 --> 01:14:27,376 Do you know who I hung out with just today? Orlando Bloom. 1150 01:14:29,044 --> 01:14:31,797 - I don't know who that is. - Of course you don't know who that is. 1151 01:14:31,880 --> 01:14:33,298 You don't know who anyone is. 1152 01:14:33,382 --> 01:14:35,801 You thought Brad Pitt was a cave in Yorkshire. 1153 01:14:35,884 --> 01:14:38,554 The thing is most people do know who that is, all right? 1154 01:14:38,637 --> 01:14:40,639 And most people wouldn't think a journalist hanging out 1155 01:14:40,723 --> 01:14:42,850 with celebrities like that was a disappointment. 1156 01:14:42,891 --> 01:14:45,310 I don't think you're a disappointment, Sidney. 1157 01:14:45,394 --> 01:14:47,312 I've never thought that. 1158 01:14:50,733 --> 01:14:52,401 I'm sorry. I... 1159 01:14:53,068 --> 01:14:55,154 I didn't mean to upset you. 1160 01:15:01,243 --> 01:15:04,288 Things haven't been that great, actually, Dad. 1161 01:15:04,913 --> 01:15:08,083 I don't know why. I can't seem to get ahead. 1162 01:15:09,835 --> 01:15:12,921 - Lf you're not happy... - No, I'm fine. 1163 01:15:12,956 --> 01:15:15,424 Really, I can make it. I know I can. 1164 01:15:18,677 --> 01:15:20,763 Einstein said, 1165 01:15:21,597 --> 01:15:24,266 "Try not to become a man of success, 1166 01:15:25,017 --> 01:15:28,103 "but rather to become a man of value. " 1167 01:15:30,022 --> 01:15:32,441 Young lady in the bedroom there, Alison. 1168 01:15:32,524 --> 01:15:35,861 She wouldn't have anything to do with your desire to stay on, would she? 1169 01:15:35,986 --> 01:15:37,863 No, we're just friends. 1170 01:15:38,363 --> 01:15:41,241 Anyway, she says that New York women don't go for losers. 1171 01:15:41,283 --> 01:15:42,785 I suppose not. 1172 01:15:44,328 --> 01:15:46,872 But Alison is from Port Huron, isn't she? 1173 01:16:23,659 --> 01:16:27,663 I don't remember much from last night, but I'm so, so sorry. 1174 01:16:27,698 --> 01:16:29,915 Why? No... You were all right. 1175 01:16:30,666 --> 01:16:32,876 Oh, my God. Your father. 1176 01:16:34,169 --> 01:16:36,470 - And that woman. - Mrs. Kowalski? 1177 01:16:36,505 --> 01:16:39,258 Don't worry about it. The last woman she caught me with had a penis. 1178 01:16:39,341 --> 01:16:42,594 - So, you know, you're a big step up. - Thanks. 1179 01:16:47,683 --> 01:16:50,352 - Who is that? - That's my mother. 1180 01:16:51,144 --> 01:16:52,521 No way. 1181 01:16:52,604 --> 01:16:54,731 - Was she a model? - Actress. 1182 01:16:55,107 --> 01:16:58,026 - Is she still... - No. She died when I was young. 1183 01:17:02,698 --> 01:17:06,618 Must be pretty cool having your mom in a movie. 1184 01:17:07,035 --> 01:17:09,329 Well, I used to see her on the TV from time to time 1185 01:17:09,371 --> 01:17:10,504 when I was growing up. 1186 01:17:10,539 --> 01:17:12,958 You know, which is kind of weird. 1187 01:17:14,376 --> 01:17:18,463 Okay, full English fry-up. Perfect hangover cure. 1188 01:17:23,135 --> 01:17:24,136 Huh? 1189 01:17:25,387 --> 01:17:26,722 Not again! 1190 01:17:57,169 --> 01:18:00,172 Hi. I was just, you know... 1191 01:18:01,840 --> 01:18:04,509 Just rooting through your personal possessions. 1192 01:18:06,136 --> 01:18:08,513 - I like the opening. - You do? 1193 01:18:08,597 --> 01:18:10,682 Yeah. Can I read the rest of it? 1194 01:18:10,766 --> 01:18:12,399 Believe it or not, I am a pretty good editor. 1195 01:18:12,434 --> 01:18:15,854 I don't know. I don't even know if I'm going to bother finishing it. 1196 01:18:15,937 --> 01:18:19,107 Hey. "Keep true to the dreams of thy youth. " 1197 01:18:19,232 --> 01:18:20,942 Is that Troy again? 1198 01:18:21,026 --> 01:18:22,444 It's Schiller. 1199 01:18:26,615 --> 01:18:30,452 I'm going to jump in the shower, and then I really will get out of your hair. 1200 01:18:30,487 --> 01:18:32,788 Well, wait, 'cause I... 1201 01:18:32,829 --> 01:18:34,623 I got you a present. 1202 01:18:35,373 --> 01:18:38,293 I was walking past this record shop on the corner and I saw it and thought, 1203 01:18:38,376 --> 01:18:40,629 you know, it might cheer you up, so... 1204 01:18:42,672 --> 01:18:44,966 You said it was your favorite film, so... 1205 01:18:45,001 --> 01:18:46,301 That is... 1206 01:18:48,303 --> 01:18:50,639 I don't even know what to say. 1207 01:18:53,975 --> 01:18:55,977 I don't have a turntable. 1208 01:18:57,813 --> 01:19:00,982 Well, you could always come round here and listen to it. 1209 01:19:15,163 --> 01:19:17,582 Are you kidding? I could throw up on you again. 1210 01:19:17,624 --> 01:19:19,835 Oh, come on. Come on! 1211 01:19:21,211 --> 01:19:23,088 There we go. 1212 01:19:25,173 --> 01:19:26,841 Come on, don't be shy. 1213 01:19:27,092 --> 01:19:28,677 I'm a great mover. 1214 01:20:00,542 --> 01:20:03,503 Hey, Alice? Versace. You like? 1215 01:20:04,045 --> 01:20:05,345 I'm good, thanks. 1216 01:20:05,380 --> 01:20:08,967 You know, honey, everybody needs to change their look every now and then. 1217 01:20:09,050 --> 01:20:11,344 Especially when they have a new man in their lives. 1218 01:20:11,386 --> 01:20:14,521 What? I'm... What are you talking about? 1219 01:20:14,556 --> 01:20:18,101 That English guy is always hanging around you these days, right? 1220 01:20:18,727 --> 01:20:20,395 Tell me it isn't so. 1221 01:20:20,562 --> 01:20:22,564 - Of course not. - Thank God! 1222 01:20:22,647 --> 01:20:25,066 Can you imagine? He's such a creep. 1223 01:20:26,818 --> 01:20:29,904 This is gorgeous, but I'm just too fat. 1224 01:20:30,071 --> 01:20:32,240 Don't be crazy. Alice? 1225 01:20:32,699 --> 01:20:33,908 Is Anna fat? 1226 01:20:33,992 --> 01:20:37,579 Not at all. Why, she's so thin I could take her little spindly body 1227 01:20:37,614 --> 01:20:40,415 and snap her over my knee like a dry fucking twig. 1228 01:20:41,082 --> 01:20:44,419 And, for your information, Sidney Young has more going for him 1229 01:20:44,502 --> 01:20:46,004 than anyone in this place. 1230 01:21:02,395 --> 01:21:04,439 It works. It works good. 1231 01:21:07,442 --> 01:21:08,777 Elephants. 1232 01:21:15,700 --> 01:21:18,953 Hey, Alison. I was wondering if... 1233 01:21:21,956 --> 01:21:24,292 Hey, Alison. I was wondering maybe if you wanted to go see a movie 1234 01:21:24,334 --> 01:21:26,211 or have a meal or... 1235 01:21:29,464 --> 01:21:30,799 Do you want to go on a date? 1236 01:21:33,635 --> 01:21:34,677 Might work. 1237 01:21:39,641 --> 01:21:43,478 Wake up in the morning with a head like what you done 1238 01:21:43,603 --> 01:21:47,982 This used to be the life, but I don't need another one 1239 01:21:48,066 --> 01:21:52,320 You like cutting up and carrying on you wear them gowns 1240 01:21:52,403 --> 01:21:53,822 Eleanor? 1241 01:21:55,323 --> 01:21:57,992 - Hello, Sidney. - I like your costume, Vincent. 1242 01:21:58,701 --> 01:22:00,787 - I'm not wearing a costume. - Oh. 1243 01:22:03,581 --> 01:22:05,166 - Idiot. - Wanker. 1244 01:22:06,167 --> 01:22:10,213 You'd better know when you're swinging round the room 1245 01:22:10,338 --> 01:22:12,799 Looks like magic's only ours tonight 1246 01:22:12,924 --> 01:22:14,759 - I'd better find Ed. - Okay, I'll see you. 1247 01:22:14,884 --> 01:22:16,845 - See you. - Clara Bow. 1248 01:22:17,345 --> 01:22:18,847 Louise Brooks. 1249 01:22:20,139 --> 01:22:21,140 Bela Lugosi? 1250 01:22:21,266 --> 01:22:23,726 - George Hamilton. - George Hamilton's not dead. 1251 01:22:23,761 --> 01:22:25,687 Isn't he? That's a shame. 1252 01:22:26,271 --> 01:22:27,654 I was looking for you, actually. 1253 01:22:27,689 --> 01:22:28,982 And I have something I wanted to tell you. 1254 01:22:29,023 --> 01:22:30,108 Me first. 1255 01:22:30,859 --> 01:22:32,443 I wanted to ask if maybe 1256 01:22:32,527 --> 01:22:35,154 you wanted to go and maybe go and see a movie, or go have something to eat. 1257 01:22:35,196 --> 01:22:36,239 What? 1258 01:22:36,364 --> 01:22:38,908 - I can't understand what you're saying. - I'm sorry. 1259 01:22:39,033 --> 01:22:40,535 Sorry. Yeah. 1260 01:22:40,618 --> 01:22:42,537 No, I just wanted to ask if... 1261 01:22:43,538 --> 01:22:45,540 - Back in a minute. - All right. 1262 01:22:50,336 --> 01:22:51,379 Uh... 1263 01:22:52,880 --> 01:22:55,008 I wanted to tell you that 1264 01:22:56,551 --> 01:22:58,052 Lawrence has left his wife. 1265 01:22:58,136 --> 01:23:01,848 - We're going to be together. Officially. - That... 1266 01:23:02,348 --> 01:23:03,891 That's brilliant. 1267 01:23:05,893 --> 01:23:08,563 - So maybe he does care after all, right? - Yeah. 1268 01:23:15,987 --> 01:23:17,572 I'm going to... 1269 01:23:34,255 --> 01:23:36,424 Yeah, and take the West Side Highway, please. 1270 01:23:36,459 --> 01:23:38,593 Eleanor! Wait! 1271 01:23:40,595 --> 01:23:42,764 Let me write the profile on Vincent. 1272 01:23:43,848 --> 01:23:45,266 I don't think so. 1273 01:23:45,433 --> 01:23:47,769 You can have complete copy approval. It will be like you wrote it. 1274 01:23:52,273 --> 01:23:54,692 Vincent, think about it, okay? Think about how humiliating 1275 01:23:54,776 --> 01:23:55,860 it will be for me, please. 1276 01:23:55,943 --> 01:23:58,780 - I am begging you. You... 1277 01:24:01,282 --> 01:24:03,451 You don't look like you're begging. 1278 01:24:15,838 --> 01:24:17,924 West Side Highway, please. 1279 01:24:51,749 --> 01:24:53,376 Sit down, Sidney. 1280 01:24:55,461 --> 01:24:59,472 Lawrence Maddox is no longer working for Sharps magazine. 1281 01:24:59,507 --> 01:25:03,261 Seems that Elizabeth got tired of him screwing around and kicked him out. 1282 01:25:03,302 --> 01:25:04,811 She kicked him out? 1283 01:25:04,846 --> 01:25:09,016 Richard Heywood doesn't seem to like the idea of employing 1284 01:25:09,058 --> 01:25:10,768 an ex-son-in-law. 1285 01:25:11,352 --> 01:25:14,355 So he's gone. So is Alison Olsen. 1286 01:25:15,439 --> 01:25:16,774 Don't worry about Maddox. 1287 01:25:16,816 --> 01:25:19,902 He's already lined up something with Gotham magazine. 1288 01:25:19,986 --> 01:25:24,156 I'm going to need somebody to hold the fort at "I Spy. " 1289 01:25:24,782 --> 01:25:27,702 Strictly on a temporary basis, you understand. 1290 01:25:28,828 --> 01:25:30,002 One more thing. 1291 01:25:30,037 --> 01:25:33,040 I had a call from Eleanor Johnson this morning, 1292 01:25:33,207 --> 01:25:39,046 wanting to know if you would like to write a profile on Vincent Lepak. 1293 01:25:41,340 --> 01:25:44,510 I don't know how you did it, Sidney, but somehow 1294 01:25:44,635 --> 01:25:46,387 you've made it to the next room. 1295 01:25:48,222 --> 01:25:50,641 I caught my stride 1296 01:25:50,676 --> 01:25:53,060 I flew and flied 1297 01:25:53,394 --> 01:25:56,314 I know if destiny's kind 1298 01:25:56,397 --> 01:26:00,651 I've got the rest of my mind 1299 01:26:00,735 --> 01:26:03,738 Well, my heart it don't beat 1300 01:26:03,821 --> 01:26:07,658 It don't beat the way it used to 1301 01:26:07,742 --> 01:26:12,413 And my eyes, they don't see you no more 1302 01:26:13,664 --> 01:26:17,501 And my lips, they don't kiss 1303 01:26:17,585 --> 01:26:20,838 They don't kiss the way they used to 1304 01:26:20,963 --> 01:26:26,510 And my eyes don't recognize you no more 1305 01:26:28,012 --> 01:26:31,682 For reasons unknown 1306 01:26:34,935 --> 01:26:38,522 For reasons unknown 1307 01:26:44,779 --> 01:26:48,115 With one deep breath 1308 01:26:48,199 --> 01:26:50,284 One big step 1309 01:26:50,368 --> 01:26:53,287 I move a little bit closer 1310 01:26:53,371 --> 01:26:56,707 I move a little bit closer. 1311 01:26:58,042 --> 01:27:00,961 For reasons unknown 1312 01:27:07,635 --> 01:27:11,055 I said my heart, it don't beat 1313 01:27:11,138 --> 01:27:14,774 It don't beat the way it used to 1314 01:27:14,809 --> 01:27:19,855 And my eyes don't recognize you no more 1315 01:27:21,315 --> 01:27:24,902 And my lips, they don't kiss 1316 01:27:25,027 --> 01:27:28,489 They don't kiss the way they used to 1317 01:27:28,572 --> 01:27:33,828 And my eyes don't recognize you no more 1318 01:27:44,380 --> 01:27:45,840 - Hi. - Hey. 1319 01:27:49,510 --> 01:27:52,346 Well, well, little Sidalee. 1320 01:27:57,184 --> 01:28:01,063 Listen, I can't stay. Anderson wants me to go to some photographer's exhibition. 1321 01:28:01,188 --> 01:28:03,524 Hot new talent. Blah, blah, blah. 1322 01:28:04,191 --> 01:28:05,526 How hot is she? 1323 01:28:05,609 --> 01:28:07,695 - Who? - The talent. 1324 01:28:14,201 --> 01:28:15,870 See you back home. 1325 01:28:16,704 --> 01:28:19,123 Could you stop carrying this book around? 1326 01:28:19,373 --> 01:28:21,417 It's kind of embarrassing. 1327 01:28:32,803 --> 01:28:34,221 - Hey. - Hey. 1328 01:28:36,015 --> 01:28:38,726 - Nice robe. - Oh, thanks. 1329 01:28:38,976 --> 01:28:40,811 Ralph Lauren. It was a gift. 1330 01:28:41,729 --> 01:28:42,897 Who from? 1331 01:28:43,272 --> 01:28:44,356 Ralph Lauren. 1332 01:28:44,481 --> 01:28:46,567 I was doing a piece and... 1333 01:28:47,318 --> 01:28:51,989 I wanted to say congratulations. I heard about your promotion. 1334 01:28:52,197 --> 01:28:55,242 - I'm really happy for you. - Well, yeah, thanks. 1335 01:28:55,784 --> 01:28:58,210 - How's things going with you? - Good. Fine. 1336 01:28:58,245 --> 01:29:02,249 Everything's... I'm working for this little literary magazine. 1337 01:29:02,499 --> 01:29:04,418 It's not The New Yorker, but... 1338 01:29:05,002 --> 01:29:07,421 So I left you a bunch of messages. 1339 01:29:07,588 --> 01:29:11,091 - Yeah, I know, I've been so busy. - Yeah. I thought so. 1340 01:29:13,552 --> 01:29:16,138 - Okay, well... - How's the novel going? 1341 01:29:17,181 --> 01:29:19,565 I... I'm still working on it. 1342 01:29:19,600 --> 01:29:22,603 Well, you should keep at it. I believe in you. 1343 01:29:23,604 --> 01:29:25,981 Actually, I never gave you these. 1344 01:29:30,277 --> 01:29:31,528 There you go. 1345 01:29:33,614 --> 01:29:37,284 It's just, you know... You don't have to use them if you don't want. 1346 01:29:38,452 --> 01:29:40,788 You know, don't even look at it. 1347 01:29:41,163 --> 01:29:42,956 - You know... - Sidney? 1348 01:29:45,626 --> 01:29:47,044 Hey, Alice. 1349 01:29:51,632 --> 01:29:53,884 Where did it all go so wrong? 1350 01:29:55,469 --> 01:29:56,637 Bye. 1351 01:30:06,146 --> 01:30:08,399 Sophie is going to get an Apollo Film Awards nomination 1352 01:30:09,483 --> 01:30:10,859 for Best Actress. 1353 01:30:10,984 --> 01:30:15,823 Wow! That's great. But the nominations haven't been announced yet. 1354 01:30:15,989 --> 01:30:17,574 That is correct. 1355 01:30:18,992 --> 01:30:21,995 Which is why we have absolutely no way of knowing 1356 01:30:22,030 --> 01:30:24,373 whether or not she will be nominated. 1357 01:30:24,456 --> 01:30:28,836 But when she is nominated, we would like Sharps to do a feature. 1358 01:30:28,871 --> 01:30:32,714 Someone to cover the whole lead-up. Unrestricted access. 1359 01:30:32,798 --> 01:30:37,177 The trajectory, the building of this unique brand. 1360 01:30:37,594 --> 01:30:39,555 I'm going to have a logo. 1361 01:30:40,347 --> 01:30:44,017 So, here's the deal. Sophie wants you to write the story. 1362 01:30:46,520 --> 01:30:48,021 You can be my bitch. 1363 01:30:49,690 --> 01:30:53,610 Merry Christmas, Sidney. This is a cover story. 1364 01:30:54,695 --> 01:30:57,531 I think a little celebration is in order. 1365 01:30:58,824 --> 01:31:00,200 Chin-chin. 1366 01:31:01,535 --> 01:31:05,789 Maybe we could make it all right 1367 01:31:07,875 --> 01:31:11,712 We could make it better sometime 1368 01:31:15,549 --> 01:31:19,970 Maybe we could make it happen baby 1369 01:31:23,056 --> 01:31:27,311 We could keep trying but things will never change 1370 01:31:27,394 --> 01:31:30,647 So I don't look back 1371 01:31:30,731 --> 01:31:34,902 Still I'm dying with every step I take 1372 01:31:34,937 --> 01:31:37,654 But I don't look back 1373 01:31:37,738 --> 01:31:42,659 We could keep trying but things will never change 1374 01:31:42,743 --> 01:31:45,162 So I don't look back 1375 01:31:47,581 --> 01:31:53,670 Dance the little devil, loverboy 1376 01:31:53,754 --> 01:31:56,423 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 1377 01:31:56,506 --> 01:32:00,677 I love what you do I love what you do 1378 01:32:00,761 --> 01:32:03,597 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 1379 01:32:04,348 --> 01:32:10,020 I'm your pinup You're my candy man 1380 01:32:10,520 --> 01:32:16,443 Sugarcoat me, baby when you can 1381 01:32:17,277 --> 01:32:23,367 First time perfect moment Fire and ice 1382 01:32:23,450 --> 01:32:26,787 Give, give, give, give me your love 1383 01:32:27,621 --> 01:32:29,706 Give me your love 1384 01:32:30,540 --> 01:32:34,211 Give, give, give, give me your love 1385 01:32:34,294 --> 01:32:36,713 Give me your love 1386 01:32:36,797 --> 01:32:40,467 Give, give, give, give me your love 1387 01:32:40,502 --> 01:32:43,470 Give me your love 1388 01:32:48,475 --> 01:32:50,477 It's 20 storeys up. 1389 01:32:52,813 --> 01:32:54,981 Sidney, you loser! You suck! 1390 01:32:55,016 --> 01:32:57,282 It's too high. 1391 01:32:57,317 --> 01:32:59,319 You can do it! Grow some balls, man. 1392 01:32:59,403 --> 01:33:00,946 Don't be a wimp. 1393 01:33:00,981 --> 01:33:02,489 - Come on! Come on. 1394 01:33:04,074 --> 01:33:05,742 Such a loser! 1395 01:33:05,826 --> 01:33:07,994 - You didn't do it! - It's high! 1396 01:33:08,078 --> 01:33:10,163 Oh, but you let me down. 1397 01:33:10,330 --> 01:33:12,916 You couldn't do it. It's bloody high. 1398 01:33:36,022 --> 01:33:38,358 - What are you? - Limpy pig. 1399 01:33:38,525 --> 01:33:40,944 - What? - I'm your little limpy pig. 1400 01:33:41,027 --> 01:33:45,198 That's right, limpy pig. And now it's time to pay a forfeit. 1401 01:33:46,199 --> 01:33:49,202 - What do you got? - I've got my little limpy pig dance. 1402 01:33:58,628 --> 01:34:00,297 Give me your ring. 1403 01:34:03,884 --> 01:34:05,218 I can't. 1404 01:34:05,802 --> 01:34:08,388 - Come on. - No, I can't. 1405 01:34:08,472 --> 01:34:11,391 - Give me your ring. I want it. - I can't. 1406 01:34:14,394 --> 01:34:15,562 Okay. 1407 01:34:15,645 --> 01:34:19,232 If you give me your ring, and I win tomorrow, 1408 01:34:20,817 --> 01:34:23,069 I'll let you have sex with me. 1409 01:34:40,754 --> 01:34:43,340 ...has left Rocky wondering where the others have gone. 1410 01:34:43,423 --> 01:34:45,926 His old anxieties about being left alone... 1411 01:34:46,009 --> 01:34:49,346 Now there's an easy way to remember everything. 1412 01:34:49,429 --> 01:34:51,681 Oh, thank you, Mike. 1413 01:34:51,765 --> 01:34:54,184 I'll buy you a better one, just as soon as I... 1414 01:34:54,267 --> 01:34:55,518 No, you won't. 1415 01:34:55,602 --> 01:34:58,021 I'm always going to keep this one. 1416 01:34:58,104 --> 01:34:59,856 I'll never part with it. 1417 01:34:59,940 --> 01:35:01,775 Never, never, never. 1418 01:35:07,781 --> 01:35:10,784 Let's do it properly. Please. 1419 01:35:39,896 --> 01:35:42,482 Ms. Maes. Over here. Smile! 1420 01:35:44,150 --> 01:35:45,735 Thank you, Sophie. 1421 01:35:49,823 --> 01:35:51,825 What people don't realize is that all saints start out 1422 01:35:51,908 --> 01:35:53,326 as human beings. 1423 01:35:53,410 --> 01:35:56,496 And all human beings fall in love at some point, right? 1424 01:35:56,579 --> 01:35:59,332 - Mother Teresa still has... - It's really important, sure. 1425 01:35:59,416 --> 01:36:00,917 Well, anyway... 1426 01:36:05,922 --> 01:36:08,425 Well, well. Look at you. 1427 01:36:10,010 --> 01:36:13,346 Made it all the way to the seventh room. Congratulations. 1428 01:36:13,430 --> 01:36:16,433 Wheel of fortune, right? You go up, I go down. 1429 01:36:17,434 --> 01:36:19,686 You here with Sophie? How about doing your old rabbi a favor 1430 01:36:19,769 --> 01:36:21,354 and putting in a good word for me? 1431 01:36:21,438 --> 01:36:23,022 - Need a little interview. - Is Alison here? 1432 01:36:23,106 --> 01:36:25,775 Alison? No. We went our separate ways. 1433 01:36:26,526 --> 01:36:27,777 Actually, she left me. 1434 01:36:27,861 --> 01:36:30,530 And tells me she's in love with someone else. 1435 01:36:31,698 --> 01:36:36,953 Nope. Not you, I'm afraid, Sidalee. Some guy named Clark. 1436 01:36:37,287 --> 01:36:40,707 Can you believe it? These are the sacrifices we make. 1437 01:36:41,374 --> 01:36:45,378 I don't need to tell you. This isn't a vacation, it's a vocation. 1438 01:36:45,628 --> 01:36:49,549 So, listen. About Sophie, need a little interview. It won't take long. 1439 01:36:56,639 --> 01:36:59,476 So, here I am at the center of everything. 1440 01:37:00,226 --> 01:37:03,646 I've got the tux, I've got the watch, I've got the life. 1441 01:37:03,980 --> 01:37:06,232 I am exactly where I wanted to be. 1442 01:37:09,569 --> 01:37:12,071 I've made it to Shangri-la. 1443 01:37:32,091 --> 01:37:33,259 I'm gonna have to have the ring back, okay? 1444 01:37:33,343 --> 01:37:34,344 What are you doing? 1445 01:37:34,427 --> 01:37:36,429 - I need you to give me the ring. - Get away from me. 1446 01:37:36,513 --> 01:37:38,014 - What are you doing? - Give me the ring back. 1447 01:37:38,097 --> 01:37:40,183 My mother gave me this ring, and she told me to give it to the one. 1448 01:37:40,266 --> 01:37:41,935 - She's not the one! - Have you lost your mind? 1449 01:37:42,018 --> 01:37:43,186 - No, just... Will you just... - Let me go. 1450 01:37:43,269 --> 01:37:45,855 I don't want to be on the inside! I don't want to be at the party! 1451 01:37:45,939 --> 01:37:47,941 I don't want to have sex with you! 1452 01:37:48,024 --> 01:37:49,609 I killed Cuba! 1453 01:37:59,953 --> 01:38:01,621 No. Hey! 1454 01:38:02,872 --> 01:38:05,792 Fucking, mother-fucking fucker! 1455 01:38:06,459 --> 01:38:07,543 God! 1456 01:38:08,127 --> 01:38:09,379 Stop it! 1457 01:38:09,462 --> 01:38:11,965 This is live! I don't care! 1458 01:38:12,882 --> 01:38:14,717 Well, this is a strange one. 1459 01:38:14,801 --> 01:38:17,553 We've certainly never seen anything quite like this before 1460 01:38:17,637 --> 01:38:19,639 at the Apollo Film Awards. 1461 01:38:23,142 --> 01:38:25,812 Sodom and Gomorrah! 1462 01:38:26,062 --> 01:38:27,313 I'm sorry! 1463 01:38:29,315 --> 01:38:31,484 I've just been informed that the young man involved 1464 01:38:31,567 --> 01:38:32,652 in the altercation 1465 01:38:32,735 --> 01:38:36,155 is Sidney Young, a reporter with Sharps magazine. 1466 01:38:42,829 --> 01:38:44,998 Take your hands off of me! 1467 01:38:45,081 --> 01:38:47,667 You are finished! You're finished! 1468 01:38:50,670 --> 01:38:52,505 - Hey, Vincent. - Sidney. 1469 01:38:57,677 --> 01:38:58,845 Fuck. 1470 01:39:37,800 --> 01:39:39,051 Have a nice flight. 1471 01:39:39,135 --> 01:39:41,304 I need a ticket to New York, please. 1472 01:39:45,475 --> 01:39:48,895 The next available flight isn't until tomorrow morning at 10:00. 1473 01:39:48,978 --> 01:39:51,647 It arrives in New York at 6:30 p. m. local time. 1474 01:39:51,898 --> 01:39:53,733 There's nothing sooner? 1475 01:39:53,816 --> 01:39:56,569 - No, I'm afraid not. - Fine. I'll take it. 1476 01:39:57,820 --> 01:40:00,823 Hi, you've reached Alison. Please leave a message. 1477 01:40:00,907 --> 01:40:04,160 Oh, and Joe, if that's you, I got the tickets for Empire Park tomorrow. 1478 01:40:04,243 --> 01:40:06,245 I'll see you there. Bye. 1479 01:40:06,746 --> 01:40:08,080 Alison, it's me. It's Sidney. 1480 01:40:08,164 --> 01:40:11,000 Listen, my battery is very low, and I wanted to... 1481 01:40:11,417 --> 01:40:13,336 Can I see you? I just... 1482 01:40:13,419 --> 01:40:15,838 I don't think I'm going to be working for Sharps anymore, okay? 1483 01:40:15,922 --> 01:40:19,091 But it's fine. Because I thought I wanted all that stuff. 1484 01:40:19,258 --> 01:40:20,927 I thought I wanted to be special and have the money 1485 01:40:21,010 --> 01:40:23,262 and be treated differently to everybody else. 1486 01:40:23,346 --> 01:40:25,097 Can I get an upgrade? 1487 01:40:25,431 --> 01:40:27,934 But I don't, okay? And... Who's Joe? 1488 01:40:44,367 --> 01:40:46,452 Could I get your autograph? 1489 01:40:47,119 --> 01:40:48,955 What? 'Cause I'm on the TV? 1490 01:40:49,038 --> 01:40:51,457 'Cause I'm up there close to the movie stars? 1491 01:40:51,541 --> 01:40:52,708 'Cause you think I'm special? 1492 01:40:52,792 --> 01:40:54,627 For your credit card? 1493 01:40:56,712 --> 01:40:57,797 Yes. 1494 01:41:00,299 --> 01:41:02,218 Do you have any baggage? 1495 01:41:02,802 --> 01:41:03,970 Plenty. 1496 01:41:16,065 --> 01:41:21,654 What makes gold look like rust 1497 01:41:21,737 --> 01:41:26,826 What turns diamonds into dust 1498 01:41:26,909 --> 01:41:31,747 Like oxygen to you and me 1499 01:41:32,415 --> 01:41:37,837 We need it more than the air we breathe 1500 01:41:38,671 --> 01:41:41,674 Too much push and shove 1501 01:41:41,757 --> 01:41:47,513 Without enough love to go round 1502 01:41:49,181 --> 01:41:52,685 There must be enough love 1503 01:41:52,768 --> 01:41:54,603 To go round the world 1504 01:41:54,687 --> 01:41:57,606 There must be enough love 1505 01:41:57,641 --> 01:42:00,526 To go round the world 1506 01:42:00,609 --> 01:42:03,529 There must be enough love 1507 01:42:03,612 --> 01:42:05,114 To go round the world 1508 01:42:05,197 --> 01:42:07,366 Stop the car. Stop the car! Stop the car! 1509 01:42:07,450 --> 01:42:13,039 There must be enough love, love, love 1510 01:42:16,876 --> 01:42:19,879 There must be enough love 1511 01:42:19,914 --> 01:42:22,882 To go round the world 1512 01:42:22,965 --> 01:42:26,802 There must be enough love 1513 01:42:26,886 --> 01:42:28,804 To go round the world 1514 01:42:28,888 --> 01:42:32,558 There must be enough love 1515 01:43:00,503 --> 01:43:01,587 Hi. 1516 01:43:03,672 --> 01:43:04,673 Hi. 1517 01:43:08,177 --> 01:43:10,429 How's the novel coming along? 1518 01:43:13,098 --> 01:43:14,600 It's finished. 1519 01:43:18,187 --> 01:43:20,105 Thanks for the ending. 1520 01:44:37,016 --> 01:44:38,350 Oh, fuck! 1521 01:44:42,521 --> 01:44:44,273 Girl, you really got me goin' 1522 01:44:44,356 --> 01:44:47,860 You got me so I don't know what I'm doin' 1523 01:44:49,194 --> 01:44:51,280 Yeah, you really got me now 1524 01:44:51,363 --> 01:44:54,033 You got me so I can't sleep at night 1525 01:44:55,284 --> 01:44:58,120 Yeah, you really got me now 1526 01:44:58,203 --> 01:45:02,041 You got me so I don't know what I'm doin', now 1527 01:45:02,124 --> 01:45:05,175 Oh yeah, you really got me now 1528 01:45:05,210 --> 01:45:07,463 You got me so I can't sleep at night 1529 01:45:07,546 --> 01:45:10,549 You really got me You really got me 1530 01:45:10,632 --> 01:45:12,301 You really got me 1531 01:45:15,971 --> 01:45:19,224 See, don't ever set me free 1532 01:45:19,308 --> 01:45:22,895 I always wanna be by your side 1533 01:45:23,145 --> 01:45:26,196 Girl, you really got me now 1534 01:45:26,231 --> 01:45:29,735 You got me so I can't sleep at night 1535 01:45:30,069 --> 01:45:33,155 Yeah, you really got me now 1536 01:45:33,238 --> 01:45:36,658 You got me so I don't know what I'm doin', now 1537 01:45:36,742 --> 01:45:39,912 Oh yeah, you really got me now 1538 01:45:39,995 --> 01:45:42,247 You got me so I can't sleep at night 1539 01:45:42,331 --> 01:45:45,334 You really got me You really got me 1540 01:45:45,417 --> 01:45:47,169 You really got me 1541 01:45:53,509 --> 01:45:56,678 Mother Superior? This is Agnes from the Ottoman Empire. 1542 01:45:56,762 --> 01:45:59,681 Sometimes, before you can find belief, 1543 01:46:01,016 --> 01:46:04,103 you have to find someone who will believe in you. 1544 01:46:04,186 --> 01:46:07,856 They say you traveled alone. You came by train? 1545 01:46:07,940 --> 01:46:09,108 By foot. 1546 01:46:09,191 --> 01:46:12,277 That is not a suitable way for a young lady to travel. 1547 01:46:12,778 --> 01:46:14,613 It is how the poor must travel. 1548 01:46:14,696 --> 01:46:17,449 Sometimes, what is so wrong... 1549 01:46:17,533 --> 01:46:18,700 You left this. 1550 01:46:18,784 --> 01:46:21,203 ...can feel so right. 1551 01:46:21,286 --> 01:46:22,371 Stop it! 1552 01:46:22,454 --> 01:46:24,540 You've given yourself to Christ. 1553 01:46:24,623 --> 01:46:28,293 But I love him. How can it be wrong? 1554 01:46:29,545 --> 01:46:30,629 Why? 1555 01:46:30,712 --> 01:46:33,715 - I was told to come here. - Who told you? 1556 01:46:36,718 --> 01:46:37,803 God. 1557 01:46:38,387 --> 01:46:41,974 The faith is strong in this one. 1558 01:46:42,057 --> 01:46:44,393 I believe in love. That is all we have, 1559 01:46:44,476 --> 01:46:47,229 and we must give it wherever it is most needed. 1560 01:46:47,312 --> 01:46:48,480 Calcutta. 1561 01:46:48,564 --> 01:46:53,235 Sometimes, before you can find God, you have to find yourself. 1562 01:46:53,318 --> 01:46:55,821 Stand up, Mother Teresa. 1563 01:46:55,904 --> 01:47:00,075 In a world where passion is forbidden and belief is divine, 1564 01:47:00,158 --> 01:47:02,160 one woman achieved everything 1565 01:47:02,244 --> 01:47:04,997 by helping those who had nothing. 1566 01:47:06,081 --> 01:47:09,668 Sir Ben Queensley, Dame Peggy Aitken, 1567 01:47:09,751 --> 01:47:13,005 Tod Rivera, and introducing Sophie Maes. 1568 01:47:13,088 --> 01:47:15,173 Teresa, The Making of a Saint. 1569 01:47:16,675 --> 01:47:18,594 A Mel Cohen Film. Rated NC-17. 1570 01:47:19,928 --> 01:47:21,930 Get over it 1571 01:47:26,018 --> 01:47:27,519 Get over it 1572 01:47:33,859 --> 01:47:38,697 D'you want my side, my side of the story 1573 01:47:40,616 --> 01:47:45,537 D'you want my side, my side of the story 1574 01:47:47,539 --> 01:47:52,711 Well, I want you, want you like I'm eighteen 1575 01:47:53,795 --> 01:47:59,217 But I'm tied, tied to my baby 1576 01:47:59,252 --> 01:48:02,971 To my baby Oh! 1577 01:48:16,485 --> 01:48:21,656 What hurts but feels so fine 1578 01:48:22,157 --> 01:48:27,245 What turns water into wine 1579 01:48:27,329 --> 01:48:31,833 It runs so deep in you and me 1580 01:48:31,917 --> 01:48:36,421 From a fountain to a river to the seven seas 1581 01:48:38,590 --> 01:48:42,511 Too much push and shove 1582 01:48:42,594 --> 01:48:46,431 With not enough love to go round 1583 01:48:46,466 --> 01:48:49,851 I finally found 1584 01:48:49,935 --> 01:48:53,105 There must be enough love 1585 01:48:53,188 --> 01:48:55,190 To go round the world 1586 01:48:55,273 --> 01:48:58,944 There must be enough love 1587 01:48:59,027 --> 01:49:01,029 To go round the world 1588 01:49:01,113 --> 01:49:04,616 There must be enough love 1589 01:49:04,699 --> 01:49:06,535 To go round the world 1590 01:49:06,618 --> 01:49:11,289 There must be enough love, love, love 1591 01:49:22,801 --> 01:49:27,722 Woohoo