1
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,339
Hey, doll.

2
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,345
<i>Death by shark or alligator?</i>

3
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:53,766
Oh...

4
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:57,941
I don't swim in the ocean.

5
00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,440
Alligators are in lakes or swamps
and marshes.

6
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,149
But sharks are only in the ocean.

7
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,197
You can't change the rules, Jase.
You gotta pick.

8
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:07,200
The rules presume
that both deaths could occur.

9
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:09,654
They can. You can't mitigate risk to zero.

10
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:14,162
I can mitigate risk to zero on shark death
if I never get into the ocean.

11
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:16,038
Unless you're in a plane
that goes down in the ocean

12
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,119
and you don't die on impact.

13
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:20,877
Okay, fine. Shark. It's faster.

14
00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:27,680
Alligators drown you before they eat you.
So, there. Shark. Okay?

15
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:28,926
- You happy?
- Yes.

16
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:30,716
You wanna come up?

17
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,393
- Is Katherine there?
- Yeah.

18
00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:36,305
- Then, no thank you.
- No, it's fine. Come up. She...

19
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:40,938
I'm going to break up with her soon anyway.

20
00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:42,144
Really? Already?

21
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,605
- I give it like three weeks.
- Poor Katherine.

22
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,492
She'll be fine. She's got a great

23
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:49,819
sense of humor.

24
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,991
- You're such an asshole.
- I know.

25
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,743
- You have a problem.
- I have many.

26
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:56,538
I blame my parents.
Why are you whispering by the way?

27
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,749
Oh, there's a guy in my bed.

28
00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,667
What? Doll, that's great.

29
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:08,550
No, it's not. He's like eleven.
He's a bartender. What is wrong with me?

30
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:11,382
Nothing. It's been like years, hasn't it?

31
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,925
- Six months and a week.
- Exactly.

32
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,849
It's not natural.
Doll, you gotta sweep out the cobwebs.

33
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:17,395
Thank you for that.

34
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,726
From your vagina.

35
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:19,973
Got it.

36
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:23,360
<i>- I think you should come up.
- No, it's okay.</i>

37
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:26,192
I'm just gonna take a pill.
I'll see you tonight, yeah?

38
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,148
All right. Is it all of us?

39
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:32,487
Yeah, it's the six of us, and Katherine.
Unless you break up with her before then.

40
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,704
<i>- Okay.
- Keep me posted.</i>

41
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:35,864
- Night, doll.
- Night.

42
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,177
Thank you. Okay.

43
00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,396
Yeah, that's fine. Just make it a breakfast.

44
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,996
Can you hold that, please?

45
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,501
- Gotta stop meeting like this.
- Hi, doll.

46
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:22,668
Hi.

47
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,510
Did you have to wear those shoes?

48
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,758
- Do you feel inadequate?
- Do you feel enormous?

49
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:33,839
Fuck you.

50
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,844
<i>- Thank you.
- Thank you.</i>

51
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,305
Well done, doll.
Did you do this through your boss?

52
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:44,358
Yep. And I only had to blow him
like three times.

53
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:45,434
And that guy, twice.

54
00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:51,486
- Hello!
- Hi.

55
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,238
- Hi, beauty.
- You look so pretty.

56
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,442
You look gorgeous.

57
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:56,452
I think we both look terrific.

58
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,155
How are you? Good to see you.

59
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,285
You're all glowy.

60
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,708
- I love touching your face.
- I love it when you do.

61
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:06,922
Jase, where's Katherine?
Is she meeting you here?

62
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,124
Well...

63
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:10,542
- No!
- Seriously?

64
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,294
I don't know. I don't know.

65
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,262
- Poor Kath.
- What?

66
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,888
I forget, what do they say
about commitment issues?

67
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,810
Is it you hated your mom,
you wanted sex with your mom?

68
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,395
- Come on...
- I think it's hate your mom.

69
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:24,724
I thought it was that you're afraid
your mom's gonna cut your penis off.

70
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:25,807
Okay.

71
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:33,482
No!

72
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,199
Thank you all very, very much. Thank you.

73
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,906
Can I just point out that
Jule can't get to a second date.

74
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,333
Oh, that's not fair, that is not fair.

75
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:46,750
I'm trying, I went to the last setup
from this one, brutal...

76
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:49,581
Wait, your message got cut off.
You didn't like Russell? He's gorgeous.

77
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,629
- He's a criminal.
- Yeah.

78
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,503
- White collar. You can make that work.
- Really'?

79
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:56,763
- Is that what it's come to?
- Come on.

80
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,055
That is not that big of a deal.

81
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,886
- How do you make that work?
- It is a fancy prison.

82
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,479
So, wait, are Ben and Missy late, or...

83
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:06,936
Oh, no. They're here.

84
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:08,726
- What. ..
- They went to the bathroom...

85
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,145
- Twenty minutes ago.
- What?

86
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,400
- To have...
- Yes. I believe so.

87
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:15,900
- Oh, my God...
- To do... I think that means this, is that...

88
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,609
Do they have sex, like, all the time?

89
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:20,036
They have sex
way more than anyone we know.

90
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,031
Jase has sex a lot...

91
00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:23,619
I do, but not at that level.

92
00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:26,292
I mean, I've never had sex on a boat
or a piano.

93
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:27,790
Not yet. Not yet you haven't.

94
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,667
Remember at my dad's funeral?
When they had sex in that...

95
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,043
- Hey!!
- Hi!

96
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,628
What's up. guys?

97
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,752
- Hi.
- How's it going?

98
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,257
- Welcome back.
- Thank you.

99
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:37,963
- Hi. How are you? Good to see you.
- Nice to see you.

100
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,047
Good to have you back.

101
00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:41,637
We ran into a couple of his friends
from work downstairs...

102
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:42,842
Then we were in line,
a phone call...

103
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:43,973
In the bathroom?

104
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,554
- Who'd you run into?
- Yeah.

105
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,982
- Our friends, Barbara and Dave
- Dave and Barbara.

106
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,650
- I don't know them.
- All right.

107
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:52,443
- So great we're all here.
- Yeah, I know.

108
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,520
Oh, my God.

109
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:54,692
So nice...

110
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,486
- Guys, can you believe this?
- What?

111
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:03,038
Hundred bucks a plate,
and they're bringing toddlers?

112
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,743
Are they even allowed in here?

113
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:07,042
People, it's Manhattan,
we're here to live the dream,

114
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,414
leave the kiddies at home.

115
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:09,832
We're pregnant.

116
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:14,041
- Oh, my God, that's amazing!
- Congratulations!

117
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,177
- That is such great news.
- That's so nice.

118
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,754
- That's amazing!
- I know, isn't it?

119
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,926
- Thanks, Ben.
- Sorry, we knew.

120
00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:23,600
They told us before. We knew
and we didn't want to say anything.

121
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,635
- No, no. We just told them.
- We just told them.

122
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,767
- They've been busy.
- That is amazing...

123
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,936
Please disregard what I just said.

124
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:33,519
- No, no, we hate those people, too...
- We hate them. We hate them.

125
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:35,195
- We are not those people.
- These are awful people.

126
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,523
- I don't hate them...
- I love those.

127
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,279
We are never going to bring our kids
to a place like this.

128
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,155
Or any fancy place.

129
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,077
Or anywhere.
We are going to keep them at home.

130
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,326
- You can't...
- Yeah, we're gonna be cool.

131
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,909
Les will still be strident and I'm going
to keep drinking a lot, so...

132
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:49,993
I'm kidding.

133
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,202
I'm kidding.

134
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,459
- I love you, baby.
- I love you, too.

135
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:55,085
We're excited.

136
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,418
Serious, you guys,
everything's gonna be the same.

137
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,635
- Nothing's gonna change.
- Of course.

138
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:21,408
I guess I need six pink and eight blue ones.

139
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:22,575
- So, 14 total.
- Yeah.

140
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:24,779
<i>- Wrapped?
- Oh, wrapped would be so great.</i>

141
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:28,411
If you could do... Oh, thank you.
Hold on one sec, sorry.

142
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,458
Thanks, Steph. Thank you.

143
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,168
- Did you say 1,400 something?
- Yes, ma'am.

144
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:41,588
I'm gonna get back to you
after I make some tough decisions, thanks.

145
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,254
Hi.

146
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:44,927
Are you looking at what I'm looking at?

147
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,180
Check your inbox.

148
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,723
Okay. Hold please.

149
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,306
Oh, my God.

150
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,149
Wow, that is bold!

151
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,230
Yeah, really.

152
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,861
Really. I was eating lunch.

153
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,021
Is that corn?

154
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,570
But now my appetite's back, thank you.

155
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:05,744
Sorry. Hey, what do you want
for your birthday, anyway'?

156
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:11,542
A great girl with big tits, long legs,
who isn't crazy, or neurotic, or religious.

157
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,743
What that I can get in the next three hours?

158
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,459
- Nespresso machine.
- Done.

159
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,551
I'm sorry, I couldn't get them to a restaurant.
I really tried.

160
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,970
No, whatever. It's the baby card.
They all play it.

161
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:27,595
But it's not just the baby card,
it's the baby carol and Brooklyn.

162
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,301
So it's like...

163
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:31,933
- It's like two cards.
- It's two cards.

164
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,018
- I hate Brooklyn.
- Brooklyn is the new Manhattan.

165
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,353
Manhattan is the new Manhattan.

166
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:37,980
- Nice.
- I read it.

167
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,357
Well, at least Ben and Missy will be there.
That's big.

168
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,110
Haven't seen them since the hospital.

169
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,941
No, can't be that long.

170
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,285
- Weren't they at that thing at the...
- Nope.

171
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:49,161
Thank you.

172
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,365
Slow painful death by disease,

173
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:56,170
or watching the love of your life
die a slow painful death by disease?

174
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:57,996
A. Definitely A.

175
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:02,422
Much worse to be without the person
you love than to have a slow painful death.

176
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:05,299
But I wouldn't make mine slow and painful,
I'd get out early.

177
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,473
- How?
- Up the morphine drip. You?

178
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,721
Oh, B. I'm living!

179
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,350
You would rather watch the love of your life
die slowly and painfully'?

180
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:17,433
Well, it wouldn't be awesome
but better them than me.

181
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,233
I got a lot of good years left.

182
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,528
Are we late enough? Should we circle?

183
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,276
Thirty-five minutes?
I think we're late enough.

184
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,278
- Hey!
- Happy Birthday.

185
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,451
We're not quite there yet.

186
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,872
Cole, honey, can you just...
Please, for a moment!

187
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,871
Alex, can you come out here
for a second, please?

188
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,076
I'm in the bathroom!

189
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,255
Really? Well, Jule and Jase are here,
so why don't you come out!

190
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,586
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Alex.

191
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,383
You know what,
can you guys watch him for a second?

192
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:47,178
- Yeah, of course.
- We brought some wine, if you...

193
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:49,139
Hey, Cole.

194
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,466
- I'm gonna open one of these.
- Do that.

195
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:54,015
Hey, Cole. What's up, buddy?

196
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,933
Hey, Cole, you know what?
We brought you something.

197
00:09:56,012 --> 00:10:00,893
Oh, my goodness, you're huge!
And I like you tremendously!

198
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,437
I missed you so much.

199
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,195
Oh, my goodness! How you doing?

200
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,523
Hey!

201
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,698
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

202
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,151
- How you doing?
- How's it going, man?

203
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,908
- Happy birthday, little fella.
- Thanks, haven't seen you in a while.

204
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,154
Alex!

205
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,491
I could use a little help,
what do you think, huh?

206
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:17,416
- Maybe pick up a little bit?
- I was in the bathroom.

207
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,494
Yeah, we know. Do you have to make it
a 45-minute production

208
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,250
when we're having guests over? Jesus!

209
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,127
- I was reading an article...
- Maybe you could shut the door.

210
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,753
It's fucking toxic in here.

211
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,668
I was airing it out!

212
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,050
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry!

213
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:33,725
- Oh, sweetie, no. Please.
- I got it, it's fine.

214
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,393
Hon, did we get Jase a gift?

215
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,263
Jase, we forgot.
We're gonna get it this weekend, sorry!

216
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,768
- Oh, shit, we're gonna get something.
- It's fine.

217
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,850
- That's Ben and Miss.
- Yeah, we haven't seen them.

218
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,017
Ben and Missy are here.

219
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:45,103
- You look good.
- Thanks, you, too.

220
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,735
- I mean, you're... Did you...
- I lost weight.

221
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,942
- It's fucking sweet of you to even notice.
- You did. You look good.

222
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,150
- Really?
- Alex!

223
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,204
Could you get the fucking door?
What are you, deaf?

224
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,865
Did the... Did the bell ring?

225
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,538
Are you fucking kidding me today?

226
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,667
You want me to get it'?
I'll get it, I'm doing everything else.

227
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:05,298
- I might have to murder him.
- Do you want me to put the sauce on?

228
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,129
- Hey, man.
- Hey! Oh...

229
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,255
Yep. All day.

230
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:11,053
I apologize for the 50 times
he rang the doorbell.

231
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,264
- Hey.
- Hey, how we doing?

232
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,556
- Hey, Troy.
- Hello.

233
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,384
- Hey. Hi, guys.
- Hi.

234
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,432
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks.

235
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,434
Happy birthday.
I'm sorry. I feel like an asshole,

236
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,810
apparently I forgot to pick up your gift.

237
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,518
Which was already wrapped and paid for
and two blocks from his office...

238
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,320
- I'll get it to you tomorrow.
- ...still couldn't find the time to pick it up.

239
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,318
It's a tie. You can return it.

240
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:32,071
It's okay, but thanks.

241
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,829
Wait, so who was this guy again?

242
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,454
Oh, my God,
he was a setup through my boss.

243
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,125
I got there, he was 61.

244
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:45,289
I'm sorry, excuse me.
Can I put him in with Katie? Do you mind?

245
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,086
Oh, yeah, the monitor's right there.
Go ahead.

246
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,166
He's fine.

247
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:52,504
- My God, he's fine. He'll be fine.
- I'll put him in there. He'll fall asleep.

248
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:53,796
He's hungry.

249
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,432
That's his hungry cry. Just go feed him.

250
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:58,351
Why don't you feed him?

251
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,728
I brought the bottle,
why don't you feed him for once?

252
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,602
Fine, I'll feed him!
It's not like it's that big a deal.

253
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,185
She acts like I raped her to have a kid.

254
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,573
So, Jase, how's work?

255
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,330
Oh, fine.

256
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:22,534
- We're doing the Bud Super Bowl spots.
- Excuse me.

257
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,707
- Pretty cool.
- That is cool.

258
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,797
And that's my cue.

259
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,546
My turn, clearly...

260
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,219
- You need help, sweetie?
- No, no, I'm all right.

261
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:37,799
How's Callie?

262
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:41,470
Oh, we... We broke up.

263
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,561
- No...
- Like, four months ago.

264
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:48,476
Oh...

265
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,350
- Can we get another?
- Thank you.

266
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,730
- Jesus Christ.
- That was unbelievable.

267
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:30,810
- Seriously, though...
- God!

268
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:37,659
We don't know those people.
Those people are mean, and angry, and...

269
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,026
Mean.

270
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:41,446
- When did that happen?
- I don't know.

271
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,826
I don't know, when they had kids?

272
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:46,284
- Come on, that doesn't make you mean.
- Maybe it does.

273
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,161
Can we get a couple more?

274
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:52,166
No, come on, it can't be that.
It can't be just that.

275
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,884
- I mean, it's hard, yeah. It's got to be hard.
- Sure.

276
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,131
You know, you go through pregnancy

277
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:59,180
and it's stressful
and you're fat and cranky, and I get that.

278
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,427
Of course.

279
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,349
But, I'm sorry, that's what you signed on for.

280
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,223
- Yes, you did.
- They both knew going in

281
00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:06,145
that it was going to be shitty
for nine or ten months.

282
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,187
I know, right.

283
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,482
But, then, you get a great kid at the end.
Like Cole.

284
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:12,231
I know.
The having the kid part's exciting and great.

285
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,812
Miracle of life, people bring gifts.

286
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:16,148
You got visitors, the in-laws,
everyone's around,

287
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:19,655
people bake things and knit little hats...

288
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,077
Yeah,

289
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:27,955
but then after all the hoopla,
nobody sleeps for what, like a year?

290
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:29,744
Yeah, a year or two.

291
00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:31,416
Right.

292
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:33,706
That'll make you mean.

293
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,374
You know
what the hardest part is to me, though?

294
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,460
The part I just can't wrap my brain around?

295
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,095
The loosening of the vagina

296
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:41,593
and the worry that
your guy'll never like fucking you again

297
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,219
because it's cavernous now, and not...

298
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:44,763
Sorry, go ahead.

299
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:48,851
<i>No, the hardest part, and everyone says this,</i>

300
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:53,185
is that suddenly you love this creature,
I mean, this stranger, right?

301
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,690
Far and above the person you chose
to spend the rest of your life with.

302
00:14:55,770 --> 00:15:00,025
The person you chose on the planet
over absolutely everyone else to be with.

303
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:07,373
But what's the alternative,
just not like your kid that much?

304
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,827
Talk about him behind his back
and leave him out of things?

305
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:11,911
Tell him he's a douchebag?

306
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:16,795
No, this is my point, the setup is flawed.
I mean, think about it.

307
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,093
At my age, even if I meet my guy,

308
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:23,014
I mean, the guy I've been waiting for
my whole life, I'll have, like, what?

309
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:26,184
Six months to a year of awesome
before we're plunged into babydom

310
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,136
and then it doesn't get good again
for like five years?

311
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:29,562
Yeah, if you survive it.

312
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:36,232
You see? I don't know how you get to be
the most important person to your person

313
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:37,857
and not miss out on having a kid.

314
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,235
Unless you marry a divorced guy with kids.

315
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,737
Yeah, but then you miss out on birth
and you're second best to the kids.

316
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:43,818
So what are you saying?

317
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:48,327
You want to be already divorced, with a kid,
so you can meet the man of your dreams?

318
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,504
Actually, divorced people
have it kind of great.

319
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,879
They get all the toxic unsexy stuff
out of the way with the first person,

320
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,959
and then when they meet the person
they really want to be with,

321
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,010
they only have to deal with the kid
half the time.

322
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,303
Right, built-in child care.

323
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,303
Right, they get all kinds of time together
when the kid's with the ex,

324
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:09,727
then they get QT with the kid
because it's special.

325
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,931
- Right. It's like the perfect setup.
- Or you could just not have kids.

326
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:16,605
- Oh, I want them so much, don't you?
- Are you kidding? Of course, I do.

327
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:21,026
- I'm gonna have a kid no matter what.
- Well, me, too. At least one.

328
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:23,866
Thanks.

329
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,244
- Why don't we just do it?
- Do what?

330
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,415
- Have a kid. Get it over with.
- What?

331
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:34,711
We love each other, we trust each other,
we're responsible, gainfully employed,

332
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:38,164
and totally not
attracted to each other physically.

333
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,215
Yeah, that'd be perfect, beat the system.

334
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:43,465
Right. We have the kid,
share all the responsibility,

335
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,218
and just skip over the whole
marriage and divorce nightmare.

336
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:49,016
I mean, you don't really have
a lot of time to waste, doll.

337
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,435
Get to it, pop one out,
lose the weight quickly,

338
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,263
then start looking for your guy.

339
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:59,564
I can't really tell if you're kidding right now.

340
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:04,736
Yes?

341
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:06,696
- What if I wasn't?
- What?

342
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,782
- Kidding.
- Really?

343
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,863
Just what if?

344
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:13,370
Just talk it through for a sec, pro and con it.

345
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:15,126
Yeah, just spitball.

346
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:18,629
I never got that expression,

347
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:22,925
how do you go from fourth grade, hitting
people in the neck with small pieces of...

348
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:24,798
- Off topic.
- Sony.

349
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,424
Well, what would we tell our future people?

350
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,806
Easy. We dated casually once or twice,
got pregnant,

351
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,728
you wanted to keep the kid
'cause you're old.

352
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:35,851
Thanks.

353
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:39,230
I had no choice, so we decided
to split custody and remain friends.

354
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:40,560
That makes me the villain.

355
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:43,317
Okay, we both wanted a kid
but not each other,

356
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,398
so split custody and remained friends.

357
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,153
Better.

358
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,360
What if I meet my guy while I'm pregnant?

359
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:52,788
Then you say you're not sure whose it is.
You've been dating casually.

360
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:55,742
- Then I'm a slut.
- Okay, all right.

361
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:59,625
Well, then, you told the guy
whom you only slept with once, me,

362
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:02,628
and I wasn't into it,
but you were and it's your body, so...

363
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:06,052
You know what?
I'm not gonna find my guy till post-baby,

364
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,174
I need to drink on dates.

365
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,054
<i>- Really?
- Really, really.</i>

366
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,474
- Really, really.
- Okay, look me in the eye...

367
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:12,721
Oh, boy.

368
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:16,430
And tell me that you will be 100 %
committed to this, half the time.

369
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:21,393
I will be 100 % committed to this,
half the time, maybe even more.

370
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,979
Cheers.

371
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,317
Puts hair on your chest.

372
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,277
Shit, what do we tell our friends?

373
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,328
Oh, don't worry about it.
I'm good on my feet.

374
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,036
Oh, my God, are you serious?

375
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:37,199
Yes.

376
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:40,836
It's our dream, we've always wanted
you guys to get together!

377
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:44,749
- Oh, no...
- No, we're not going to get together.

378
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,167
They're not getting together.

379
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,093
They're just gonna fuck one time
and have a kid.

380
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:50,012
- Right?
- Yeah, pretty much.

381
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:53,053
- Why do you have to call it "fucking," man?
- Oh, do we have to do this?

382
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:55,593
Jule and Jase are trying
to tell us something.

383
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,270
- Look, we really wanna have a kid.
- Yeah.

384
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:02,187
We just don't want to subject that kid
to our tragic marriage.

385
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,148
Our tragic marriage?

386
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:09,032
- No, our tragic marriage.
- The one we would have.

387
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:10,901
- Us.
- I mean, see,

388
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,578
we don't want to fall into the trap
that most of our friends have...

389
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:20,246
We want to do it in a way
that doesn't kill the romance and...

390
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,586
Right.

391
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:28,381
The thing is, I'm old. is the thing.

392
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,549
I get it.

393
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:33,177
You want to have a kid, but without
all the shit that comes with marriage.

394
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,216
- Right. Yes.
- Yes.

395
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,514
Totally makes sense to me.

396
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:50,319
You are good on your feet.
Your pitches must go great.

397
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:51,741
You're welcome.

398
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,828
Oh, my God, what about our parents?

399
00:19:55,903 --> 00:20:00,500
Well, your mom will cry,
and my dad will write a check.

400
00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,373
Right.

401
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:09,050
- You don't think she's really upset, do you?
- No.

402
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,761
- Why are you so upset?
- Why'?

403
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:16,262
- Why? Because it's an affront to us.
- To us? Like specifically to us?

404
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,560
To all normal people
who struggle and make sacrifices

405
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:23,060
and make commitments to make
a relationship work, yes, it's insulting.

406
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,642
To us, specifically and in general.

407
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,524
- Wow. Okay, Judge Judy.
- Judge...

408
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:30,771
You don't think it's insulting
to our way of life?

409
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,948
Our way of...

410
00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:34,195
What?

411
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:39,281
We're not Mormons or old-timey people.
We don't exactly have a way of life, babe.

412
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:42,329
- You know what I mean.
- It's a brave new world, honey.

413
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,953
There are test-tube babies
and surrogate babies

414
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:46,708
<i>and Jon & Kate Plus 8.</i>

415
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:49,290
I don't think that two friends
having a kid together

416
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:52,673
because it might be her last chance
is the worst thing that I ever heard.

417
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:56,089
Two seconds, we'll be right back.
Two seconds.

418
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,640
Oh, my God, that's the worst idea
I've ever heard.

419
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,969
Oh, my God. What do we do?
What do we say'?

420
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:04,396
I don't know. Nothing.
I mean, we can't say anything, right?

421
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:07,851
We'll be right there, you guys!
This is so exciting!

422
00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,026
- They're so fucked.
- So fucked.

423
00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:12,525
- They seem totally on board. Yes.
- They're on board.

424
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:15,233
I mean, I get the ticking clock thing for Julie,

425
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:17,068
but why do you think
Jason wants to do this?

426
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:18,994
I know, I didn't even think
he wanted to have kids,

427
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:21,288
but I know she wanted
to have kids eventually, but...

428
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:22,406
Right.

429
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,499
- You think he feels sorry for her?
- What? No.

430
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:28,455
No, what, I mean, no.

431
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,211
- Not just that.
- You think he feels sorry for her.

432
00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:35,253
Okay, maybe partly he feels sorry for her.
Is that so bad?

433
00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:38,806
I mean, he's got all the time in the world,
but this might be it for her.

434
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:43,435
What? "it" for her?

435
00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:46,264
- Oh, no...
- That is so fucking insulting!

436
00:21:46,347 --> 00:21:48,441
- Oh, now I'm insulting?
- Yes!

437
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:51,315
She's insulting, I'm insulting,
it's a terrible day for you.

438
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:54,112
You're saying it's it for her.
I mean, she's not dying.

439
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:58,113
Okay, well, you set her up with a guy,
what, four years ago?

440
00:21:58,192 --> 00:21:59,785
- Who was in prison!
- God!

441
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:02,204
I'm just saying, who do we know?

442
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:04,122
Who do we know, good guys,

443
00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:07,498
who are available and ready to commit
in their late thirties?

444
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,086
I don't have anyone for her.

445
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:11,794
It's not that hard. I mean, that's ridiculous.

446
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:14,716
So we find her somebody younger,
like your age.

447
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,009
Well that's not gonna happen.

448
00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:17,837
What do you mean?
That's happening right now.

449
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:19,801
With us? That's different.

450
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,348
- That's unfair.
- Why'?

451
00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:23,767
Because, hon, when we met,
you were in your twenties.

452
00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:28,223
<i>- So?
- So, 28, 22, that's hot.</i>

453
00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:30,433
38, 32, not so much.

454
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:34,987
Are you seriously telling me
that if we met today,

455
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:36,063
it wouldn't happen?

456
00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:38,983
Honestly, no.

457
00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:42,111
Probably not.

458
00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:45,706
- You're a super douchebag.
- I'm kidding!

459
00:22:47,825 --> 00:22:49,953
- I'm kidding.
- I'm gonna strangle you!

460
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:52,167
- Last question.
- Shoot.

461
00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:55,165
Did we decide on a method?

462
00:22:57,084 --> 00:23:02,056
Is it worth trying the drunken sex thing
once or twice

463
00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:03,515
<i>on the off chance?</i>

464
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:15,440
- He is not...
- Yeah...

465
00:23:16,770 --> 00:23:18,238
And that is... Okay.

466
00:23:20,357 --> 00:23:21,779
Sorry.

467
00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:24,032
- Thanks. Thanks a lot.
- No, no, no. I'm sorry.

468
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:26,955
- It's just weird.
- I know.

469
00:23:27,031 --> 00:23:29,204
It's like kissing a brother, or something.

470
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:31,911
- Great.
- Okay, try again.

471
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:36,962
- For real.
- It's fine.

472
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:38,042
Okay.

473
00:23:39,710 --> 00:23:42,884
Maybe we should not kiss
and just watch the porn.

474
00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:44,298
Little more porn.

475
00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:48,010
It's just sex, come on.

476
00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:49,595
- Just forget it's me for a second.
- Okay.

477
00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:51,180
- And let's do this.
- Okay.

478
00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:56,060
- Come on.
- Let me just dim the lights a little bit.

479
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:59,522
That's better. I'm sorry I don't have big tits.
I know that's your thing.

480
00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:00,822
That's okay. I've seen your tits.

481
00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:02,533
You have? When?

482
00:24:03,025 --> 00:24:04,652
Streak night in college.

483
00:24:04,735 --> 00:24:08,285
Hamptons time-share,
in the hot tub, millennium weekend.

484
00:24:08,364 --> 00:24:10,992
- Oh, that was a great trip.
- It was.

485
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,201
You're stalling.

486
00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:15,421
Sorry, okay.

487
00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:16,838
Let's just do it.

488
00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:20,509
Oh, I should tell you,
I'm a grower, not a shower.

489
00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:21,927
I know.

490
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:26,592
- What?
- No, I know it gets big. Leslie told me.

491
00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:30,512
Alex told her. Oh, and Callie told me.

492
00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:32,471
- Callie told you?
- Yeah.

493
00:24:32,554 --> 00:24:35,353
I think she was trying
to make me feel bad or something.

494
00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:36,604
How?

495
00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:40,279
I don't know, just 'cause I didn't have
access to your big dick or something?

496
00:24:40,354 --> 00:24:43,198
I don't know, I didn't really get her.

497
00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:45,943
Really? Why didn't you ever tell me that?

498
00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:47,994
- I did.
- You did?

499
00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:49,413
I did.

500
00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:55,044
- Anyway. Okay.
- All right, good luck.

501
00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:57,837
- Here goes...
- Yes.

502
00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:06,179
Wow, does that move
really work on people...

503
00:25:06,255 --> 00:25:08,349
Are you kidding me? Seriously?

504
00:25:08,465 --> 00:25:09,637
Is this the way this is gonna go?

505
00:25:09,717 --> 00:25:12,015
That was such a... Right up there... It was...

506
00:25:12,094 --> 00:25:14,313
Well, yeah, we gotta
get down to business here, sweetie.

507
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:15,431
It was very sudden.

508
00:25:15,639 --> 00:25:19,109
I'm sorry, it's just sometimes
girls need a little foreplay.

509
00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:20,686
- Oh, really?
- A little something.

510
00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:24,694
Really? Is that what girls need? Are you
going to tell me about what girls need?

511
00:25:24,773 --> 00:25:26,616
Sorry I said anything. Let's start again.

512
00:25:26,692 --> 00:25:28,239
You know I'm gonna need
to get down there at some point,

513
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:29,319
if we're going to conceive a child.

514
00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:31,371
- I do know that. Agreed.
- All right.

515
00:25:31,572 --> 00:25:33,415
So may I approach the bench?

516
00:25:34,575 --> 00:25:35,576
Yes.

517
00:25:35,743 --> 00:25:37,245
Yeah? Okay.

518
00:25:43,751 --> 00:25:45,594
- This way? Okay.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

519
00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:51,346
You know, was this a terrible idea?
Not the thing, not the plan, but this way.

520
00:25:51,425 --> 00:25:52,551
Was it just not a good idea?

521
00:25:52,634 --> 00:25:55,513
Maybe I should just get going.
I mean, this is starting to get embarrassing.

522
00:25:55,596 --> 00:26:00,022
No, no, no. Please don't.
I haven't had sex in a really long time.

523
00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:02,107
Really? Me, too. How long?

524
00:26:03,437 --> 00:26:04,609
Three months.

525
00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:08,609
- You?
- Thursday.

526
00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:11,658
You are such an asshole.

527
00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:14,081
- God, you didn't even tell me!
- It's not a big deal.

528
00:26:14,156 --> 00:26:16,124
- It's kind of a big deal.
- Really'?

529
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:17,873
- With that waitress?
- Yeah.

530
00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:20,838
I bet she had big tits.

531
00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:22,039
- No.
- Yes, she did.

532
00:26:22,164 --> 00:26:24,838
- She did, they were enormous.
- Such an asshole.

533
00:26:25,042 --> 00:26:26,464
You're such a jerk, I hate you...

534
00:26:26,543 --> 00:26:30,923
Why don't you stop hitting me?
It's a pain in the ass.

535
00:26:42,184 --> 00:26:45,734
Let's just pretend
we're really into each other, okay?

536
00:26:47,064 --> 00:26:48,407
Okay.

537
00:27:01,578 --> 00:27:04,457
So, a life coach.
What exactly does that mean?

538
00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:09,129
Basically, I just help people
strategize, focus, prioritize, you know?

539
00:27:09,419 --> 00:27:11,171
Wow, that's a mouthful.

540
00:27:12,589 --> 00:27:16,969
Hi, I'll have a glass of
the '93 Châteauneuf-du-Pape.

541
00:27:18,887 --> 00:27:20,434
I'll just get a Stella.

542
00:27:24,017 --> 00:27:26,019
Sorry, I have to take this.

543
00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:28,314
Hey.

544
00:27:29,690 --> 00:27:30,782
Now?

545
00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:34,453
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! It's okay.
Doctor Wong, great!

546
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:38,533
Do you think this epidural
should be working better or something?

547
00:27:38,615 --> 00:27:40,333
Can you turn it up, do you think?

548
00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:42,286
Meningitis. Meningitis.

549
00:27:42,369 --> 00:27:43,916
Oh right, hey...

550
00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:45,626
Can I ask you to put some of this on?

551
00:27:45,706 --> 00:27:49,176
<i>We saw an ER episode
where the woman got spinal meningitis</i>

552
00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:51,879
because she got the germs
from the doctor's hands and died.

553
00:27:52,087 --> 00:27:55,182
It was really sad. I mean, it was good,
it was a strong episode, but sad...

554
00:27:55,257 --> 00:27:57,931
All right, we're almost there, keep pushing.

555
00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:01,730
Oh, my God, it really is disgusting.
It's super gross.

556
00:28:01,805 --> 00:28:03,978
Your vagina looks like a jellyfish.

557
00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:07,735
- Death by drowning or fire?
- Not now!

558
00:28:07,936 --> 00:28:09,233
It's crowning. Scissors.

559
00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:11,027
- No, no...
- Oh, no!

560
00:28:11,231 --> 00:28:13,529
No, Doctor, please, no episiotomy.

561
00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:15,987
She wants to be back in the dating pool
in six to eight weeks,

562
00:28:16,069 --> 00:28:18,322
so if you could just let it tear naturally...

563
00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:19,535
What are you doing?

564
00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:21,834
All right, just a few more pushes.

565
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:23,202
There, keep pushing.

566
00:28:23,410 --> 00:28:26,789
- It's coming!
- I feel like it's coming out of my ass!

567
00:28:27,664 --> 00:28:28,665
Really?

568
00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:32,087
- Oh, my gosh, you guys.
- I know, right'?

569
00:28:32,336 --> 00:28:33,462
Hi.

570
00:28:33,670 --> 00:28:35,138
Are you waving hello to us?

571
00:28:36,173 --> 00:28:37,174
Unbelievable.

572
00:28:37,299 --> 00:28:38,300
You have a baby.

573
00:28:39,426 --> 00:28:41,144
- It was bad.
- I know, honey, you look good...

574
00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:44,349
Look at him. He looks just like your father.

575
00:28:44,431 --> 00:28:46,650
Really'? Who remembers?

576
00:28:47,226 --> 00:28:50,696
A widow with no grandchildren
until now remembers.

577
00:28:50,771 --> 00:28:54,366
Mom, Dad left us 12 years before he died,
and he remarried,

578
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:57,490
you're not a widow,
that's not what "widow" means.

579
00:28:57,694 --> 00:29:00,447
- Hello.
- Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.

580
00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:03,033
- Hey, Marcy.
- Hello, sweetheart.

581
00:29:03,617 --> 00:29:05,210
This is all very weird.

582
00:29:05,285 --> 00:29:06,332
Hi, Phil. Nice to see you.

583
00:29:06,411 --> 00:29:08,413
Elaine, how've you been?

584
00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:10,753
Just wish my husband was here to see this.

585
00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:14,636
Leslie, Alex, how are your children?

586
00:29:14,795 --> 00:29:18,675
- The ones born in wedlock?
- They're fine, thank you.

587
00:29:19,299 --> 00:29:21,472
- Who wants champagne?
- Right here.

588
00:29:21,718 --> 00:29:22,719
I'd love some, Alex.

589
00:29:22,803 --> 00:29:24,601
It seems appropriate, right?

590
00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:26,682
So, this is Joe.

591
00:29:27,849 --> 00:29:28,975
Nice job, son.

592
00:29:29,351 --> 00:29:30,352
Well...

593
00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:33,488
- Phil, give him the gift.
- Right.

594
00:29:33,563 --> 00:29:37,318
This is for your share, son.

595
00:29:37,526 --> 00:29:39,824
- Dad...
- Oh, no, no, it's fine.

596
00:29:39,903 --> 00:29:42,076
Of course,
it's all going to be down the middle.

597
00:29:42,155 --> 00:29:44,453
- So, don't worry.
- Okay, we gotta run.

598
00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:46,410
- Really? That's it?
- Congratulations.

599
00:29:46,493 --> 00:29:48,587
So you're... That's your... Okay.

600
00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:50,255
Gotta go check in at the hotel.

601
00:29:50,330 --> 00:29:51,752
- Bye-bye
- Bye.

602
00:29:51,832 --> 00:29:52,958
Thanks for...

603
00:29:54,459 --> 00:29:57,212
They are a delight. Cheers.

604
00:29:58,130 --> 00:29:59,928
You're really sweet.

605
00:30:00,424 --> 00:30:04,304
- It's a shame he got my nose.
- I know. And my weak chin.

606
00:30:04,761 --> 00:30:06,138
Your chin's not weak.

607
00:30:06,221 --> 00:30:09,475
Yes it is, I just jut it out a lot
because I'm self-conscious.

608
00:30:10,017 --> 00:30:13,271
- If I kind of just...
- Oh, yeah, you do.

609
00:30:13,353 --> 00:30:15,196
- Never noticed that before.
- Yeah.

610
00:30:15,772 --> 00:30:19,447
- But he got your upper lip, thank God.
- And hopefully my sense of humor.

611
00:30:19,526 --> 00:30:20,994
- What?
- What?

612
00:30:22,154 --> 00:30:24,156
Hey, how was your date, by the way?

613
00:30:25,282 --> 00:30:29,583
She over-French-pronounces French words.

614
00:30:31,121 --> 00:30:33,123
- That's terrible.
- Yeah. I needed an out.

615
00:30:34,249 --> 00:30:36,126
Good job.

616
00:30:36,209 --> 00:30:41,511
- Hey, doll, you did great.
- Thanks.

617
00:30:41,590 --> 00:30:43,934
- He's pretty special, huh?
- Yeah.

618
00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:46,223
I'm glad we did this.

619
00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:49,932
- Me, too.
- I think it's gonna work out really well.

620
00:31:18,418 --> 00:31:20,841
You can take these up to your place, right?

621
00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:25,726
Ski boots. Oscillating fan.

622
00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:28,011
Terrible luggage.

623
00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:33,767
You all right?

624
00:31:40,774 --> 00:31:41,775
Okay.

625
00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:45,570
- Hey.
- Oh, thank God you're here.

626
00:31:45,654 --> 00:31:46,701
What happened?

627
00:31:47,364 --> 00:31:49,287
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

628
00:31:49,366 --> 00:31:53,462
I did everything. I fed him, I changed him,
I burped him, I swaddled him...

629
00:31:53,829 --> 00:31:55,502
- Did you do the mobile?
- Mobile...

630
00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:58,049
- You did mobile.
- I did mobile, and the train thing,

631
00:31:58,125 --> 00:32:01,550
and fly like an airplane
and he's been crying like this for an hour!

632
00:32:01,628 --> 00:32:03,972
- I think he hates me!
- No, he doesn't hate you, sweetie.

633
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:06,766
He doesn't hate anybody.
He's not a hater. Come here.

634
00:32:06,842 --> 00:32:10,312
He's not bright enough to be a hater
right now, his brain is like this big.

635
00:32:10,470 --> 00:32:12,268
- Don't say that.
- It's true.

636
00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:13,648
Don't say that in front of him.

637
00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:15,354
He's dumb as a stump right now.

638
00:32:15,434 --> 00:32:18,904
He can't discern the nuances of
who to hate right now. That comes later.

639
00:32:19,980 --> 00:32:21,027
You're okay.

640
00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:29,038
How did you do that?

641
00:32:29,364 --> 00:32:30,661
It's simple. He loves me and he hates you.

642
00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:32,208
- Oh, you are so mean!
- I'm joking!

643
00:32:47,757 --> 00:32:50,260
- Are you kidding me?
- Look.

644
00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:53,222
Are you kidding me? Are you re-gifting?

645
00:32:53,305 --> 00:32:54,932
- Yes. We have to be quiet.
- Is this for me?

646
00:32:55,015 --> 00:32:57,268
- No, this is temporary. So calm down.
- Is this for me?

647
00:32:57,350 --> 00:32:59,227
Okay. Oh, great.

648
00:32:59,478 --> 00:33:02,778
I can't do it. I gotta put Joe to bed.
It's my night. Let's do Tuesday.

649
00:33:02,856 --> 00:33:04,984
No, my kid's got tumbling practice.

650
00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:11,619
- What? They're enormous, right?
- They're big.

651
00:33:11,698 --> 00:33:13,041
But, you know, that's a good thing.

652
00:33:13,283 --> 00:33:15,877
What is the tits thing?
I sort of get it now, but...

653
00:33:16,036 --> 00:33:21,338
Look, I can explain it very simply to you.
Look at Joe right now.

654
00:33:21,791 --> 00:33:23,008
See how happy he is?

655
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:25,545
That's as happy as he's ever going to be.

656
00:33:26,087 --> 00:33:27,464
Buried in tits.

657
00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:29,428
And your last job was?

658
00:33:29,633 --> 00:33:33,638
I was taking care of the most
beautiful little girl in SoHo.

659
00:33:33,762 --> 00:33:35,764
- Wow.
- That's wonderful.

660
00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:37,895
Wow.

661
00:33:40,977 --> 00:33:42,103
I just want to make one note.

662
00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:46,237
Is there anything you see, Jase,
that you want to enquire about?

663
00:33:46,316 --> 00:33:48,535
- Or comment on?
- Right.

664
00:33:48,735 --> 00:33:50,533
- No.
- No.

665
00:33:50,904 --> 00:33:51,996
So, do I have the job?

666
00:34:01,331 --> 00:34:04,335
Hey, when do you think it'll be okay
to get naked with someone?

667
00:34:04,417 --> 00:34:05,418
Let me see.

668
00:34:09,172 --> 00:34:10,515
I think we're three weeks out.

669
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,802
- Three to four.
- Okay, thanks.

670
00:34:14,261 --> 00:34:15,604
Five, tops.

671
00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:24,609
No, we haven't seen them.
Like not once. Just e-mail.

672
00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:26,315
I'm amazed we're finally being invited over

673
00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:28,526
to witness this grand experiment
in progress.

674
00:34:28,608 --> 00:34:30,076
- You haven't seen Jule?
- No, can you imagine?

675
00:34:30,151 --> 00:34:33,781
We've had two dinner dates, and late drinks,
she calls to cancel at the last minute,

676
00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:35,740
literally while I'm in the cab, by the way,

677
00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:37,246
and I had a sitter and everything.

678
00:34:37,325 --> 00:34:39,168
And these are on her nights,
but I'm like, "Really?"

679
00:34:39,244 --> 00:34:41,167
Dude has missed the last five poker nights,

680
00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:42,623
and I'm like,
"I'm sorry, that's living the dream?"

681
00:34:42,706 --> 00:34:44,424
That's my shitty life.

682
00:34:44,499 --> 00:34:47,093
Seriously, I expected a lot more
out of these guys. A lot of big talk.

683
00:34:47,168 --> 00:34:50,638
He didn't even come Monday
when I had floor seats for the Knicks.

684
00:34:50,714 --> 00:34:53,058
- Fuck you, why didn't you ask me?
- Fuck you, you were in Chicago.

685
00:34:53,133 --> 00:34:54,885
Honey, just the floor, baby, that's it.
You got it.

686
00:34:54,968 --> 00:34:56,845
- How was it?
- It was amazing.

687
00:34:56,928 --> 00:34:58,305
I was right by Seinfeld.

688
00:34:58,388 --> 00:34:59,856
- Get the fuck out.
- No.

689
00:35:00,056 --> 00:35:01,433
Get the fuck out.

690
00:35:03,351 --> 00:35:05,900
- Great.
- That's funny.

691
00:35:10,025 --> 00:35:12,744
You know what, guys?
I think that they are really struggling.

692
00:35:12,819 --> 00:35:16,244
And I think they just
haven't been able to face us.

693
00:35:16,323 --> 00:35:17,324
Maybe.

694
00:35:17,407 --> 00:35:19,830
I don't think they had any idea
how hard any of this was gonna be.

695
00:35:19,909 --> 00:35:20,910
They had no idea.

696
00:35:20,994 --> 00:35:22,086
Fuck off!

697
00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:24,046
Troy

698
00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:25,999
- He's good at that.
- No.

699
00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:30,595
Anyway, I think we need to be
a little more supportive. You know?

700
00:35:32,172 --> 00:35:33,890
Yeah, they're probably in hell.

701
00:35:34,591 --> 00:35:36,309
Hey!

702
00:35:37,594 --> 00:35:41,189
Hey, Cole. How are you,
can I take your coat?

703
00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:43,392
Good to see you, long time.

704
00:35:43,933 --> 00:35:45,776
Hi, Troy, how are you?

705
00:35:46,853 --> 00:35:49,527
Hi, Katie, you look so pretty.

706
00:35:49,606 --> 00:35:51,859
Hey, Cole, can I take your backpack?

707
00:35:52,734 --> 00:35:53,735
There he is.

708
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:56,405
- Thank you very much.
- The place looks amazing.

709
00:35:56,488 --> 00:35:58,115
Something smells good.

710
00:35:58,198 --> 00:36:01,042
- Hey, Jase, did you remember to get...
- Of course, I did.

711
00:36:01,201 --> 00:36:03,875
<i>Hey, who would like to watch
Thomas the Tank Engine?</i>

712
00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:05,956
- I do! I do!
- Thomas! Let's do this.

713
00:36:06,039 --> 00:36:07,666
Uncle Jason is going to take you guys...

714
00:36:07,749 --> 00:36:09,376
- I know you want an espresso.
- Oh, please.

715
00:36:10,293 --> 00:36:11,465
Help yourself. We have Bloody Mary mix,

716
00:36:11,544 --> 00:36:14,844
mimosas, whatever you want,
I'm going to get the coffees going.

717
00:36:15,382 --> 00:36:18,135
Look at this!
I can't believe how big he's gotten.

718
00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:19,686
Nineteen weeks, can you believe?

719
00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:22,597
- I feel totally inadequate.
- No, don't.

720
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:24,774
This is ridiculous.

721
00:36:25,225 --> 00:36:28,729
- Yes, sweetie, if you need sugar, cream...
- Gosh, look at you guys. Thank you...

722
00:36:28,812 --> 00:36:30,985
Jason made the most amazing quiches.

723
00:36:31,064 --> 00:36:35,069
We've got quiche Lorraine,
and spinach, too.

724
00:36:35,318 --> 00:36:39,323
Oh, I got it, yeah.
They're really great and hot, so dig in.

725
00:36:39,406 --> 00:36:41,534
- It's all right, buddy.
- Hey, Jule, can you take him?

726
00:36:41,616 --> 00:36:42,663
Oh, you're such a faker.

727
00:36:42,784 --> 00:36:44,252
Oh, you're okay.

728
00:36:44,661 --> 00:36:46,208
Why don't you check him?
You wanna check him?

729
00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:48,210
- Yeah, maybe. Do you mind?
- Yeah, sure.

730
00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:50,587
- Can you do it?
- Yeah, can you deal with the coffee?

731
00:36:50,667 --> 00:36:52,840
Yeah, I figured out the thing
I kept fucking up, it was the lever...

732
00:36:52,919 --> 00:36:55,172
Look at you, competent.
See how that works?

733
00:36:55,255 --> 00:36:57,929
Yeah, sure, it turns out
I'm much better with shit than she is.

734
00:36:58,842 --> 00:37:02,688
It's true. But we decided guys spend more
time crapping and puking, right?

735
00:37:02,762 --> 00:37:04,014
Are you kidding me?
This one goes into the bathroom

736
00:37:04,097 --> 00:37:05,440
with a laptop and a sandwich.

737
00:37:05,557 --> 00:37:07,776
I like to take my time, babe.
I like to take my time.

738
00:37:07,934 --> 00:37:09,436
Why are you proud of that? It's gross.

739
00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:11,772
So, you guys, tell me everything,
what's been happening?

740
00:37:12,272 --> 00:37:13,444
Let's see...

741
00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:19,287
Well, we've been filling out the world's most
ridiculous kindergarten application for Cole,

742
00:37:19,362 --> 00:37:20,454
tougher than the LSATs.

743
00:37:20,572 --> 00:37:24,076
- Oh, my God, really?
- It's literally 17 pages of stuff like,

744
00:37:24,325 --> 00:37:26,623
"What are your child's
most promising attributes?"

745
00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:29,798
I don't know. Pulling on his wiener
and hitting stuff all the time?

746
00:37:30,165 --> 00:37:31,337
Freaking out his sister.

747
00:37:31,958 --> 00:37:33,585
- It's just gas.
- Oh, good.

748
00:37:33,668 --> 00:37:36,342
Hey, Jase, how are things
with the hot Latina nanny?

749
00:37:36,671 --> 00:37:38,264
Thanks for sending me her Facebook page,
by the way,

750
00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:39,807
I jerked off to it a few times already.

751
00:37:40,175 --> 00:37:43,975
Wow, you are such a pig!
You're a complete pig!

752
00:37:44,053 --> 00:37:46,272
- You weren't in the room.
- It's fine. Penelope's over.

753
00:37:46,347 --> 00:37:47,940
- It doesn't matter.
- What, since last night?

754
00:37:48,016 --> 00:37:49,233
- Yeah.
- What happened?

755
00:37:49,309 --> 00:37:52,654
She got needy. And she voted for Bush.
2004, actually.

756
00:37:53,646 --> 00:37:56,115
Damn, six weeks and out?
We could have hired her.

757
00:37:56,191 --> 00:37:57,613
You don't think Gladys is working out?

758
00:37:57,692 --> 00:38:01,447
No, I do, she just scares me a little.

759
00:38:01,529 --> 00:38:03,998
Doll, you didn't tell me that. Come on.

760
00:38:04,073 --> 00:38:05,871
- She's, like, mean to me sometimes.
- She is?

761
00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:08,578
- A little bit mean. Just a couple of times.
- She's gone. I'm gonna kill her.

762
00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:10,914
I think she just doesn't like me, exactly...

763
00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:13,216
Julie, when are you gonna
get back out there?

764
00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:17,671
- Oh, I don't know, I'm not ready yet...
- She thinks her vagina's too loose.

765
00:38:17,921 --> 00:38:19,673
- Jason!
- No, I do. I absolutely do.

766
00:38:19,756 --> 00:38:21,929
- But she's Kegeling.
- Talking about Kegeling?

767
00:38:22,091 --> 00:38:24,469
- What is Kegeling?
- It's exercises to strengthen your vagina.

768
00:38:24,552 --> 00:38:26,475
Yeah. I'm doing them constantly.
I'm doing them right now.

769
00:38:26,679 --> 00:38:28,397
- You can't even tell.
- I can tell.

770
00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:30,225
- I can see.
- You saw it, right?

771
00:38:30,975 --> 00:38:32,022
That was a mean Kegel.

772
00:38:32,101 --> 00:38:34,604
Jule, don't wait too long, 'cause I
have some serious prospects for you.

773
00:38:34,687 --> 00:38:36,155
Not all of them are convicts.

774
00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:39,201
- Oh, my God, I'm so annoyed with you.
- Fingers crossed.

775
00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:58,553
- I don't want to go.
- You're going. You should just go.

776
00:38:58,628 --> 00:39:04,385
But how lame is it that it's a lunch?
I mean, late lunch? Really?

777
00:39:04,551 --> 00:39:06,895
Lunch is good, lunch is low stakes.

778
00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:10,853
I just want to stay here, though,
and go to the park with you guys.

779
00:39:10,932 --> 00:39:12,309
I don't want to miss anything.

780
00:39:12,392 --> 00:39:14,736
We're literally going to see you
in two hours.

781
00:39:14,811 --> 00:39:18,611
I know, but late lunch. It's so unpromising.

782
00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:20,442
- You know what I think?
- What?

783
00:39:20,525 --> 00:39:22,778
I think late lunch
can turn into early cocktails.

784
00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:25,655
So you can roll into evening
if it's going well,

785
00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:28,917
but you also have a solid out
'cause it's just lunch.

786
00:39:29,033 --> 00:39:30,910
- A late lunch.
- A late lunch, yes.

787
00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:33,879
So, I think it's an impressive,
strategic move on his part.

788
00:39:34,122 --> 00:39:36,841
Wow. Thanks for saying that.

789
00:39:37,292 --> 00:39:38,509
All right, I'm gonna go.

790
00:39:38,668 --> 00:39:40,261
Good-bye. Good-bye.

791
00:39:42,547 --> 00:39:46,393
I will see you very soon. Bye.
Have fun with Daddy.

792
00:39:46,843 --> 00:39:48,015
Say bye to Mommy.

793
00:39:48,511 --> 00:39:50,309
Tell Mommy you hope she gets laid!

794
00:39:50,430 --> 00:39:52,228
Shut up! God.

795
00:39:57,645 --> 00:39:59,898
No, no.

796
00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:02,112
Holy shit.

797
00:40:02,567 --> 00:40:05,446
Slow down!
Okay, okay, you know what'? Hey.

798
00:40:05,778 --> 00:40:08,452
- Okay, buddy, you just go with this, okay?
- Okay, let's sit. Can you sit?

799
00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:10,992
Sit. Thank you.

800
00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:16,874
"Daw!" That's right, bud. "Daw!"

801
00:40:16,956 --> 00:40:20,460
Yeah, do you want to say hi to "daw"?

802
00:40:20,793 --> 00:40:26,300
Well, maybe this drop-dead beautiful woman
who owns the "daw" will let you...

803
00:40:26,633 --> 00:40:27,850
Let you say hi...

804
00:40:28,343 --> 00:40:29,720
Are you serious?

805
00:40:29,802 --> 00:40:33,523
You're gonna hit on me with a baby?
That's terrible. Boo!

806
00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:35,813
- What's wrong with you?
- No, no, no, hey, I'm a free agent.

807
00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:39,404
I'm not married. And I wasn't hitting on you.

808
00:40:39,479 --> 00:40:40,526
Really?

809
00:40:40,605 --> 00:40:43,074
Okay, yeah, maybe I was
hitting on you. But...

810
00:40:43,274 --> 00:40:44,776
Thank you.

811
00:40:44,859 --> 00:40:49,740
To be honest,
you can't really walk around with that

812
00:40:49,822 --> 00:40:52,075
face and not invite that kind of comment.

813
00:40:52,158 --> 00:40:54,627
I'm sorry for saying that,
that was the first thing that came out.

814
00:40:54,702 --> 00:40:58,423
I'm not usually this inarticulate or cheesy.

815
00:40:58,498 --> 00:41:00,842
I'm a bit off my game. A bit off my game.

816
00:41:01,584 --> 00:41:03,678
- Maybe a little bit.
- Yeah.

817
00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:05,755
I'm sorry, do you mind if we, you know,

818
00:41:06,005 --> 00:41:07,678
he gets so excited when he sees a dog,
it's crazy.

819
00:41:07,757 --> 00:41:09,350
Yeah, of course, it's fine.

820
00:41:09,550 --> 00:41:11,018
Hey, buddy, do you want to see the doggy?

821
00:41:12,387 --> 00:41:13,388
Great dog.

822
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:16,934
Yeah, he's actually my neighbor's dog.

823
00:41:17,016 --> 00:41:19,690
I could never ever be responsible
for another living thing.

824
00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:21,729
He's adorable.

825
00:41:21,854 --> 00:41:23,856
Thanks, yeah, I think so.

826
00:41:24,691 --> 00:41:27,240
Except for the nose.
He got mine, poor thing.

827
00:41:27,527 --> 00:41:28,949
World of pain coming.

828
00:41:29,028 --> 00:41:31,372
Really? I think you have a great nose.

829
00:41:31,864 --> 00:41:34,083
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah, it's your ears I would worry about.

830
00:41:35,076 --> 00:41:36,874
- Really...
- I'm just kidding.

831
00:41:38,204 --> 00:41:39,251
What's wrong with your nose?

832
00:41:39,622 --> 00:41:41,920
You know,
it's just always been a thing for me, like...

833
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,844
At certain angles, I really like
the way it looks, and others, it's like,

834
00:41:44,919 --> 00:41:47,968
I don't know,
it's not quite symmetrical with my chin.

835
00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:52,393
Wow, this is coming off very gay.
And I am straight, 100 %.

836
00:41:52,468 --> 00:41:55,722
You should know that.
Don't let the hair product fool you.

837
00:41:56,764 --> 00:41:57,811
Oh, boy...

838
00:41:58,307 --> 00:42:00,651
- Okay, so you're not married.
- No.

839
00:42:00,727 --> 00:42:02,980
- You're not gay.
- No.

840
00:42:03,062 --> 00:42:04,814
- And you have a baby.
- Yeah.

841
00:42:04,897 --> 00:42:06,069
So you're divorced?

842
00:42:06,274 --> 00:42:08,993
No. Never married.

843
00:42:09,277 --> 00:42:11,700
So, did you knock up a Catholic girl, or...

844
00:42:11,779 --> 00:42:13,497
No, she's not religious.

845
00:42:14,449 --> 00:42:20,707
We're friends, and she really wanted a baby.
So, you know, this is my life now.

846
00:42:21,622 --> 00:42:23,750
Half the time. We split custody.

847
00:42:24,250 --> 00:42:27,754
- Wow. That's noble.
- Thank you.

848
00:42:28,254 --> 00:42:30,348
- I'm Jason, by the way. I'm sorry.
- Maryjane.

849
00:42:30,423 --> 00:42:32,517
Maryjane. That is a great name.

850
00:42:32,759 --> 00:42:35,683
- I was named after shoes.
- It's a terrible name.

851
00:42:35,762 --> 00:42:38,606
Just kidding. It's a good name.
It's a lovely name.

852
00:42:40,808 --> 00:42:43,607
Sorry, do you wanna go get coffee
with me, by any chance?

853
00:42:44,854 --> 00:42:47,824
Just a cup of coffee.

854
00:42:50,109 --> 00:42:51,702
<i>You are a pumpkin.</i>

855
00:42:51,861 --> 00:42:52,987
You are such a pumpkin.

856
00:42:54,739 --> 00:42:58,960
- So what was wrong with him?
- Nothing. He couldn't have been nicer.

857
00:42:59,535 --> 00:43:02,880
So just boring? Flatline?

858
00:43:02,955 --> 00:43:06,550
He was a nice, pleasant guy.

859
00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:10,638
Well, you got back out there,
and we're all real proud of you.

860
00:43:10,713 --> 00:43:11,760
Thank you.

861
00:43:11,923 --> 00:43:14,051
- Cherry popped.
- So to speak.

862
00:43:14,175 --> 00:43:16,394
- Oh, I have some news.
- Oh, yeah?

863
00:43:17,261 --> 00:43:20,435
Let me put him down,
and I can give you my full attention.

864
00:43:20,515 --> 00:43:22,062
It is way past bedtime.

865
00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:25,111
- Bye!
- Bye. Good night, buddy boy.

866
00:43:26,687 --> 00:43:30,032
Okay, all right, I got you. Let's go.

867
00:43:30,858 --> 00:43:31,905
Let's go.

868
00:43:32,151 --> 00:43:34,028
- Bye.
- Say good night to Daddy.

869
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:36,114
- Say good night.
- Bye.

870
00:43:37,532 --> 00:43:40,627
- I'll be right back. I want to hear your news.
- Okay.

871
00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:07,645
What?

872
00:44:10,731 --> 00:44:12,199
Nothing, I...

873
00:44:13,734 --> 00:44:14,951
Just...

874
00:44:16,237 --> 00:44:17,830
I don't think this is so hard.

875
00:44:19,866 --> 00:44:21,163
You know.

876
00:44:23,494 --> 00:44:26,543
I mean, for me, it's been really...

877
00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:30,176
Really great.

878
00:44:31,085 --> 00:44:34,180
- You know?
- Well, maybe we just got a good one.

879
00:44:35,423 --> 00:44:37,425
Yeah. Yeah. Maybe.

880
00:44:37,884 --> 00:44:41,639
Well, we also have the advantage of...
We're not sleeping together,

881
00:44:41,721 --> 00:44:43,348
and we're not attracted to each other,

882
00:44:43,431 --> 00:44:47,061
so there's none of that sex stuff
to cloud the experience.

883
00:44:47,268 --> 00:44:48,269
Right.

884
00:44:48,352 --> 00:44:51,697
I mean, it'd be different if we were married
and I owed you something,

885
00:44:51,772 --> 00:44:55,026
and every time I went out,
you resented the shit out of me,

886
00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:58,704
and every time I commented
on how hot another woman is,

887
00:44:58,779 --> 00:45:00,031
you thought I was an asshole,

888
00:45:00,114 --> 00:45:04,665
or if I had to say you were back
at your old weight when you weren't.

889
00:45:05,411 --> 00:45:08,085
All that stuff. We're lucky.

890
00:45:09,582 --> 00:45:12,552
- This is clean. Simple. You know?
- Yes, yes.

891
00:45:13,753 --> 00:45:16,757
So, I'm sorry, you said you had... Thank you.
You had news. What's your news?

892
00:45:16,881 --> 00:45:18,224
Oh, right.

893
00:45:21,427 --> 00:45:23,304
I think I met "the girl" today.

894
00:45:26,349 --> 00:45:27,350
<i>I'm serious.</i>

895
00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:30,945
That's so great. That's so great.

896
00:45:31,395 --> 00:45:33,113
I don't know what is wrong with me.

897
00:45:33,606 --> 00:45:38,077
Oh, babe. I was waiting for this to happen.

898
00:45:38,653 --> 00:45:39,745
You were?

899
00:45:39,987 --> 00:45:41,580
I mean, honey,
you can't share all that shit with someone

900
00:45:41,656 --> 00:45:44,034
and not get confused, you know?

901
00:45:44,116 --> 00:45:47,666
Right. I'm just confused. It's not like
I really want him or something, right?

902
00:45:47,745 --> 00:45:51,500
- No, honey. Yeah, it's Jason. You know?
- I know.

903
00:45:52,541 --> 00:45:54,384
Jason, who we've always found to be...

904
00:45:54,460 --> 00:45:56,428
- Slightly effeminate.
- ...kind of gay.

905
00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:59,348
- He's short for you.
- Yes. He's too short for me, right?

906
00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:00,515
Yes, yes.

907
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:02,385
- You have never...
- He is too short for me, right?

908
00:46:02,468 --> 00:46:04,015
- ...dated anyone near your height.
- Is that right?

909
00:46:04,095 --> 00:46:05,938
Just because
it makes me feel big, you know?

910
00:46:06,013 --> 00:46:08,232
Makes me feel like a linebacker, you know?
Like, I have to slouch.

911
00:46:08,307 --> 00:46:11,060
You never go short, right?
You can't wear heels...

912
00:46:11,143 --> 00:46:13,020
- You can't look up and...
- Yeah. Yeah. I know.

913
00:46:13,813 --> 00:46:17,909
Plus he only likes hot girls with big tits.
He doesn't find me even remotely attractive.

914
00:46:18,192 --> 00:46:20,741
Stop it. Stop that.

915
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:23,914
I got to tell you, you know what,
he's a pig when it comes to women.

916
00:46:23,990 --> 00:46:25,082
I know.

917
00:46:25,157 --> 00:46:27,080
This has got nothing to do with you.

918
00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:31,835
This is a guy who is a terrific friend,
and he is a disaster romantically.

919
00:46:31,914 --> 00:46:32,915
Yes.

920
00:46:32,999 --> 00:46:35,593
And plus, we just know each other too well,
you know?

921
00:46:35,668 --> 00:46:37,136
He's like a brother.

922
00:46:37,211 --> 00:46:40,340
- He's like an annoying dog of a brother.
- Right.

923
00:46:40,548 --> 00:46:43,347
You don't want that.
You don't want your brother.

924
00:46:43,509 --> 00:46:46,558
- Right. Of course not.
- Because that's... That's gross.

925
00:46:46,637 --> 00:46:49,106
It is gross. And I don't want him.

926
00:46:49,181 --> 00:46:50,558
- You don't, right'? Yeah.
- I don't.

927
00:46:50,641 --> 00:46:53,690
I just want someone.

928
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,488
You know, I just want somebody.

929
00:46:58,190 --> 00:47:00,613
It's been a really long time.

930
00:47:00,860 --> 00:47:03,079
I've never felt lonelier, you know.

931
00:47:03,529 --> 00:47:07,454
This is good. Change is good.
I'm telling you, I have at least four setups.

932
00:47:07,700 --> 00:47:08,917
"Okay, Yeah.
- Okay?

933
00:47:08,993 --> 00:47:11,291
- One of which is promising.
- Okay.

934
00:47:11,370 --> 00:47:13,873
- Okay?
- All right. And what about the other ones?

935
00:47:15,207 --> 00:47:16,754
<i>They're not as promising.</i>

936
00:47:19,128 --> 00:47:24,055
If you had any idea what it was like
to look at you wearing that thing...

937
00:47:24,467 --> 00:47:25,468
I'm gonna head out.

938
00:47:25,551 --> 00:47:27,895
It makes, like, boners shoot out of my eyes.

939
00:47:28,012 --> 00:47:30,481
- I'm going on my date.
- Okay, bye, Jule.

940
00:47:30,723 --> 00:47:31,849
Sorry about that, baby.

941
00:47:32,016 --> 00:47:35,316
We're all men, right'?
I mean, I showed up a man, I'm pretty sure.

942
00:47:35,394 --> 00:47:38,113
And not for nothing, but it's like,

943
00:47:38,189 --> 00:47:40,988
whose dick did you kiss to get
the company pen, you know what I mean?

944
00:47:41,150 --> 00:47:42,197
Probably.

945
00:47:48,991 --> 00:47:50,959
- It's fine, it's fine.
- He sounds pretty upset.

946
00:47:51,035 --> 00:47:52,082
No, no, no. It's fine. It's fine.

947
00:47:59,210 --> 00:48:00,257
I'll be right back.

948
00:48:00,336 --> 00:48:04,136
I got it. I'll be right in. Yes, I will.

949
00:48:05,257 --> 00:48:08,227
I promise. Bye. I gotta go.

950
00:48:08,386 --> 00:48:10,480
- Where do I...
- Go talk to your guy. Go talk to your guy.

951
00:48:10,596 --> 00:48:12,018
Can I throw a grenade on him?

952
00:48:12,098 --> 00:48:13,691
- No, because he's on your team.
- Right. How do I do that?

953
00:48:13,766 --> 00:48:16,235
Follow, it's showing you. It's showing you.

954
00:48:16,685 --> 00:48:18,107
I will do it. I will do it.

955
00:48:18,562 --> 00:48:22,567
You are so terrible at this. You are so bad.

956
00:48:27,279 --> 00:48:29,281
<i>- Did you enjoy the show?
- Oh, my God, it was amazing!</i>

957
00:48:29,365 --> 00:48:30,366
That MJ's really something, huh.

958
00:48:30,449 --> 00:48:32,793
Yeah, I had no idea
what a big deal this whole thing was.

959
00:48:32,868 --> 00:48:33,869
She's so great.

960
00:48:33,953 --> 00:48:38,083
Hey, Lewis, don't forget rehearsal tomorrow,
right? 7:00. She's right this way.

961
00:48:38,457 --> 00:48:40,050
- You decent?
- Yeah.

962
00:48:40,459 --> 00:48:42,132
Someone's here to see you.

963
00:48:42,211 --> 00:48:43,884
- In here?
- In here.

964
00:48:43,963 --> 00:48:49,060
Hey. Oh, my God, thank you very much.
Hi. Thanks so much.

965
00:48:49,135 --> 00:48:51,308
Is this okay that I come back here?

966
00:48:51,387 --> 00:48:53,230
- Yeah, of course.
- Oh, my God.

967
00:48:53,305 --> 00:48:57,401
Well, she's an amazing dancer,
so you can imagine how flexible she is.

968
00:48:57,476 --> 00:49:01,902
She literally does this position
where her legs go behind her...

969
00:49:01,981 --> 00:49:03,153
I don't even know how it's done.

970
00:49:03,399 --> 00:49:05,993
I don't understand how it's possible.

971
00:49:06,902 --> 00:49:09,246
Dancers are usually lithe and boyish, so...

972
00:49:09,321 --> 00:49:12,370
Okay, well,
get ready because here's the amazing thing.

973
00:49:12,450 --> 00:49:16,830
She is a skinny, flexible dancer,
with a big rack.

974
00:49:16,912 --> 00:49:18,664
I mean, what are the odds?

975
00:49:18,747 --> 00:49:21,170
- What are the odds?
- Wow, that is so great.

976
00:49:21,500 --> 00:49:22,843
- I know.
- Yeah.

977
00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:27,015
Yeah. Is she nice?
Does she have any sort of personality?

978
00:49:27,089 --> 00:49:29,057
Oh, the body is just the gravy.

979
00:49:29,133 --> 00:49:34,014
She is so cool and smart and talented,
and she doesn't want kids.

980
00:49:34,847 --> 00:49:35,814
She's amazing, you're gonna love her.

981
00:49:35,890 --> 00:49:39,110
- I can't wait for you to meet her.
- Yeah, me, too.

982
00:49:40,436 --> 00:49:42,234
- What was that?
- What?

983
00:49:42,688 --> 00:49:46,488
- Are you not okay with this?
- What?

984
00:49:46,567 --> 00:49:49,411
I don't know. You just seem
so unsupportive. That's so unlike you.

985
00:49:49,487 --> 00:49:53,208
Oh, no, no, no. She sounds...
She sounds great.

986
00:49:54,033 --> 00:49:55,876
She is. I can't wait for you to meet her.

987
00:49:56,035 --> 00:49:57,958
Me, too. Me, too.

988
00:49:58,245 --> 00:49:59,246
Okay.

989
00:49:59,622 --> 00:50:03,217
I gotta go. I'm late. So have a great night.

990
00:50:24,563 --> 00:50:27,988
- Hey, hey, hey, where you going?
- Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. I'm going home.

991
00:50:28,067 --> 00:50:29,114
<i>No, no, no, no.</i>

992
00:50:29,193 --> 00:50:33,414
- I'm just not feeling my sparkliest.
- Listen to me! Pull it together.

993
00:50:33,489 --> 00:50:36,413
Right now, all right? Because this is it.

994
00:50:36,492 --> 00:50:38,665
That guy over there,
is the Holy fucking Grail.

995
00:50:38,744 --> 00:50:39,870
- Okay.
- Let's go.

996
00:50:39,954 --> 00:50:41,001
What's the catch?

997
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:44,755
There's no catch. Great guy, great dad,
very successful contractor.

998
00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:48,470
He just got divorced, that was in March, so
I've sort of just been giving it time to settle,

999
00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:50,674
you know, because you only get one shot
at a first impression.

1000
00:50:50,923 --> 00:50:53,927
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my God! So sorry.

1001
00:50:54,009 --> 00:50:56,262
- I'm sorry.
- Are you all right?

1002
00:50:56,720 --> 00:50:58,063
We're so sorry.

1003
00:50:58,764 --> 00:51:00,437
No, that was me. That was...

1004
00:51:00,516 --> 00:51:03,360
I lost my footing, and then,
I bumped into my friend Julie, here...

1005
00:51:03,435 --> 00:51:06,814
- We were looking at the tree...
- And then slammed into me.

1006
00:51:06,939 --> 00:51:09,658
- I'm so sorry.
- No, it is my fault.

1007
00:51:09,733 --> 00:51:11,076
I'm very clumsy.

1008
00:51:11,151 --> 00:51:13,620
Are you guys completely hammered already,
or what's going on?

1009
00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:15,948
- We're not drunk. Not yet.
- No.

1010
00:51:16,031 --> 00:51:18,454
I'm like an elephant in a china shop.

1011
00:51:19,118 --> 00:51:20,961
Bull in a china shop.

1012
00:51:21,704 --> 00:51:24,048
Anyhow, I am Kurt. And you are?

1013
00:51:24,123 --> 00:51:26,296
- Julie.
- I'm Julie.

1014
00:51:26,375 --> 00:51:27,797
Like she said.

1015
00:51:30,588 --> 00:51:33,808
- Okay, okay.
- Is everything okay?

1016
00:51:33,882 --> 00:51:36,135
Yeah, just a second...

1017
00:51:37,970 --> 00:51:41,190
Okay, well, I actually have to be
at the theater at like 7:00.

1018
00:51:41,265 --> 00:51:43,643
- Okay.
- So, I'm probably gonna head out...

1019
00:51:44,602 --> 00:51:45,649
Hey...

1020
00:51:46,312 --> 00:51:47,780
- Wow...
- How's it going?

1021
00:51:47,938 --> 00:51:50,157
That... That's...

1022
00:51:50,316 --> 00:51:51,568
It's okay.

1023
00:51:52,109 --> 00:51:55,238
- Okay, you know what, I'll see you later.
- Yeah, yeah.

1024
00:51:55,446 --> 00:51:58,916
I have the whole night
just like later on after this.

1025
00:51:58,991 --> 00:52:00,834
- OKay?
- Okay.

1026
00:52:00,951 --> 00:52:01,918
Yeah!

1027
00:52:01,994 --> 00:52:04,588
- Bye.
- How about a kiss. Just kidding.

1028
00:52:04,913 --> 00:52:06,881
So, what do you do?

1029
00:52:06,957 --> 00:52:10,006
When you're not busy
crashing elementary school functions.

1030
00:52:11,503 --> 00:52:14,507
Basically, I help this really rich guy
decide who to give his money to.

1031
00:52:14,590 --> 00:52:16,592
Wall Street guy, looking to
clear his conscience kind of thing?

1032
00:52:16,842 --> 00:52:18,936
Something like that, yeah. Nice guy, though.

1033
00:52:19,011 --> 00:52:21,139
- You know, ish.
- Ish.

1034
00:52:21,221 --> 00:52:22,222
Yeah.

1035
00:52:23,349 --> 00:52:24,692
Oh, God...

1036
00:52:25,392 --> 00:52:26,393
What is it?

1037
00:52:26,644 --> 00:52:31,616
Nothing, I really just haven't had
anything like...

1038
00:52:31,690 --> 00:52:34,193
Like this happening for me, so...

1039
00:52:35,694 --> 00:52:37,913
So, I just... You're very... You know...

1040
00:52:38,530 --> 00:52:41,625
- You're not so bad yourself.
- Oh, no, no.

1041
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:44,161
'Up-

1042
00:52:44,662 --> 00:52:50,294
I mean, I can put myself together, but...
I just have good hair, you know.

1043
00:52:50,501 --> 00:52:54,426
Put myself together and good hair,
two things.

1044
00:52:55,047 --> 00:52:56,845
Oh, come on,
just hop in a cab and come back.

1045
00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:59,055
You know what'? We have Sunday, right?

1046
00:52:59,134 --> 00:53:01,683
And I think that we should
just stick with that

1047
00:53:01,762 --> 00:53:04,390
instead of ruining it
with all of these almosts, okay?

1048
00:53:04,473 --> 00:53:05,474
But...

1049
00:53:05,557 --> 00:53:09,858
Look, I feel like a fucking teenager
when I'm at your baby mama's apartment.

1050
00:53:10,396 --> 00:53:13,070
- Well, she's dating right now so I have to...
- No, I know.

1051
00:53:13,148 --> 00:53:16,778
You guys are super progressive
and cool and all of that shit,

1052
00:53:16,860 --> 00:53:21,206
and I love it, it's great, but I just don't need
to know the ins and the outs of it.

1053
00:53:21,573 --> 00:53:23,166
Okay, well...

1054
00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:25,502
I'm coming. I'm coming.

1055
00:53:25,661 --> 00:53:28,585
Babe, I have to go.
We are going to a gig downtown.

1056
00:53:28,706 --> 00:53:30,208
So I'm gonna talk to you later, okay?

1057
00:53:30,499 --> 00:53:33,298
Okay, well maybe I can meet you... Hello?

1058
00:53:34,294 --> 00:53:35,295
Babe?

1059
00:53:35,713 --> 00:53:37,056
Nobody ever came close?

1060
00:53:37,256 --> 00:53:43,013
Oh, no. I had this epic nine year thing
from college with this guy Andy,

1061
00:53:43,095 --> 00:53:45,063
but it ended,

1062
00:53:45,597 --> 00:53:46,974
badly.

1063
00:53:47,933 --> 00:53:52,359
I don't know. Just not much of note since.

1064
00:53:52,438 --> 00:53:54,566
- I'm surprised.
- Oh, well.

1065
00:53:54,940 --> 00:53:58,570
I don't get how people meet people
if it isn't through college or work.

1066
00:53:58,652 --> 00:53:59,653
Yeah.

1067
00:53:59,862 --> 00:54:03,617
Anyway, so how about you.
How did you meet your wife?

1068
00:54:03,699 --> 00:54:05,372
- College. Yep.
- Right.

1069
00:54:05,451 --> 00:54:07,374
- What could go wrong?
- Yeah.

1070
00:54:08,036 --> 00:54:09,208
What did?

1071
00:54:10,289 --> 00:54:13,042
You know, nothing really.
There's no big story there.

1072
00:54:13,125 --> 00:54:14,627
We just fell out of love.

1073
00:54:15,753 --> 00:54:18,006
- I'm sorry.
- Don't be.

1074
00:54:18,088 --> 00:54:21,638
We had been going through the motions
for years, for the kids,

1075
00:54:21,717 --> 00:54:26,598
and it just seemed like a crazy way
to spend your life, I mean,

1076
00:54:26,805 --> 00:54:28,557
- we're not dead yet.
- Right.

1077
00:54:30,726 --> 00:54:32,194
So look, this is me.

1078
00:54:33,854 --> 00:54:39,076
So I can either call you a car,
or maybe you want to come up for a drink,

1079
00:54:39,151 --> 00:54:40,323
in a real glass.

1080
00:54:43,489 --> 00:54:47,960
I would love to, but I should go home.

1081
00:54:48,327 --> 00:54:49,499
- You know...
- Yeah.

1082
00:54:54,082 --> 00:54:56,585
- I have a baby.
- Okay.

1083
00:54:56,668 --> 00:54:58,511
- But there's no guy.
- Great.

1084
00:54:58,587 --> 00:55:00,931
I mean, there's a guy, but he's not my guy.

1085
00:55:01,006 --> 00:55:03,634
I mean, he's a friend guy,
but I'm totally unattached.

1086
00:55:03,717 --> 00:55:05,310
- Even better.
- Except for my kid.

1087
00:55:06,303 --> 00:55:09,523
- Yeah, of course.
- Are you sure you still want to...

1088
00:55:10,349 --> 00:55:13,228
Wow, do you always talk this much?

1089
00:55:13,352 --> 00:55:15,275
Maybe. Sorry.

1090
00:55:34,498 --> 00:55:35,795
- Morning, Gord.
- Morning.

1091
00:55:36,458 --> 00:55:37,960
It's a great day, isn't it?

1092
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:46,143
Oh, my God.

1093
00:55:47,219 --> 00:55:48,892
Wow. Someone got lucky.

1094
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:51,398
You have no idea.

1095
00:55:51,807 --> 00:55:53,559
- Is he asleep?
- Yeah.

1096
00:55:54,017 --> 00:55:56,691
This guy is amazing.

1097
00:55:57,145 --> 00:55:58,988
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, yeah.

1098
00:55:59,064 --> 00:56:04,195
I mean, who knew there were men like this
out there in the world?

1099
00:56:04,903 --> 00:56:07,326
- Really'?
- He's like, he's a man.

1100
00:56:07,406 --> 00:56:10,910
He's like a real, grown-up man.

1101
00:56:10,993 --> 00:56:13,792
So the exercises paid off.

1102
00:56:13,871 --> 00:56:14,918
The what?

1103
00:56:17,416 --> 00:56:21,762
Oh, yes, I think so. I think it was pretty tight.

1104
00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:26,092
- Wow, and you were so worried.
- I know, I know, I mean...

1105
00:56:27,926 --> 00:56:32,853
Thank you. He's so big, it could be that
that just canceled out any looseness.

1106
00:56:33,223 --> 00:56:37,103
I mean, the last guy I had sex with was you
and this was like a quantum leap size-wise,

1107
00:56:37,227 --> 00:56:41,573
so I think it might end up being
the same tightness overall.

1108
00:56:44,192 --> 00:56:47,196
Oh, no, no, no, no. I didn't mean it that way.

1109
00:56:47,279 --> 00:56:50,624
No, you were totally perfectly in proportion
to your height.

1110
00:56:50,949 --> 00:56:52,451
Kurt's really tall, so...

1111
00:56:52,618 --> 00:56:54,461
- Kurt, huh?
- Yeah.

1112
00:56:54,536 --> 00:56:56,538
Is he a Nazi? Nazi basketball player?

1113
00:56:57,623 --> 00:56:59,125
- What?
- Nothing.

1114
00:56:59,207 --> 00:57:02,711
Oh, thank you for asking
about my night, by the way.

1115
00:57:02,794 --> 00:57:06,048
- Joe had explosive diarrhea.
- Oh, no.

1116
00:57:06,465 --> 00:57:07,466
Twice.

1117
00:57:07,925 --> 00:57:10,428
I scrubbed everything with bleach,
even the baseboards,

1118
00:57:10,510 --> 00:57:13,059
I did laundry,
and I waited up for you to come home,

1119
00:57:13,138 --> 00:57:14,390
so I could go see my girlfriend,

1120
00:57:14,473 --> 00:57:18,148
but I never heard from you
because you were fucking Dirk Diggler.

1121
00:57:18,644 --> 00:57:21,739
- So. ..
- Wait a second.

1122
00:57:21,813 --> 00:57:23,815
I'm sorry.

1123
00:57:24,650 --> 00:57:26,823
- I thought I had your blessing.
- You do.

1124
00:57:26,902 --> 00:57:29,746
You always said if I was on a date
and it was going well, to just go for it.

1125
00:57:29,821 --> 00:57:31,573
- That's what we...
- Yeah, no, that's great.

1126
00:57:31,657 --> 00:57:34,877
That's perfect.
A call or a text would have been nice,

1127
00:57:34,952 --> 00:57:38,798
but I'm incredibly relieved to know
your pussy is still tight.

1128
00:57:40,332 --> 00:57:43,802
So, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go shower, change,

1129
00:57:43,961 --> 00:57:48,387
and try and reclaim a small shred of
my masculinity before going to work.

1130
00:57:49,341 --> 00:57:50,638
To try and sell beer.

1131
00:57:51,468 --> 00:57:54,017
- So, you're on duty tonight.
- Okay.

1132
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:56,182
- All night!
- Okay.

1133
00:58:10,696 --> 00:58:12,289
Ski trip! Leave in 20.

1134
00:58:14,157 --> 00:58:16,876
- You do not sound excited.
- I'm excited!

1135
00:58:22,874 --> 00:58:25,753
No, we're good. We're gonna get
on the road in 15, 20 at the most,

1136
00:58:25,836 --> 00:58:27,838
which basically means 45 minutes.

1137
00:58:28,046 --> 00:58:30,515
I'm doing only slightly better myself.

1138
00:58:30,716 --> 00:58:33,811
Honey, did you find the sled yet?

1139
00:58:34,136 --> 00:58:35,638
I did everything you asked!

1140
00:58:35,804 --> 00:58:36,805
<i>Thank you.</i>

1141
00:58:36,888 --> 00:58:38,686
Oh, my God, I've been getting
really excited about this trip.

1142
00:58:38,765 --> 00:58:41,109
<i>- I think it's gonna be fun.
- Do you think it's too soon?</i>

1143
00:58:41,184 --> 00:58:42,481
What? With Kurt?

1144
00:58:42,561 --> 00:58:48,068
Yeah, I mean, meeting the friends,
and Jason and dancer girl with the tits.

1145
00:58:48,150 --> 00:58:49,402
Is this a terrible idea?

1146
00:58:49,568 --> 00:58:51,491
Stop it, it's a great idea.

1147
00:58:51,737 --> 00:58:53,159
<i>Kurt gets it, he's got kids.</i>

1148
00:58:53,238 --> 00:58:54,706
- Hey.
- Oh, there's Jason.

1149
00:58:54,865 --> 00:58:56,742
I should go. I'll call you from the road.
I love you.

1150
00:58:56,908 --> 00:58:58,330
- Okay, babe, love you.
- Bye.

1151
00:58:59,077 --> 00:59:02,752
Hey, thank you. Thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.

1152
00:59:02,873 --> 00:59:06,798
Hey, buddy, how you doing? Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.

1153
00:59:08,253 --> 00:59:10,051
I'll get it. Hello?

1154
00:59:10,505 --> 00:59:12,507
<i>- Sorry, I must have pressed the wrong...
- Oh, no, no, no.</i>

1155
00:59:12,591 --> 00:59:17,597
No, that's me. Hey, Kurt, it's me.
That's just Jason, my friend.

1156
00:59:19,014 --> 00:59:22,359
My baby... Joe's dad, that's just Joe's dad.

1157
00:59:22,434 --> 00:59:23,777
Come on up.

1158
00:59:28,940 --> 00:59:29,987
'Up-

1159
00:59:30,067 --> 00:59:32,195
So, are you guys all packed?

1160
00:59:32,277 --> 00:59:36,453
Oh, no, not quite. MJ's still in bed.
We had a pretty late night.

1161
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:38,412
Right.

1162
00:59:38,617 --> 00:59:40,995
Well, do you want us to wait for you guys,
we have room for...

1163
00:59:41,078 --> 00:59:43,206
No, we rented a car.

1164
00:59:43,288 --> 00:59:46,462
Thought it would be more romantic
to take our time, stop along the way.

1165
00:59:46,541 --> 00:59:48,168
Never been on a road trip together.

1166
00:59:48,543 --> 00:59:50,545
Right. Right. Of course.

1167
00:59:56,551 --> 00:59:59,054
- Well, I better get going.
- Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah.

1168
00:59:59,221 --> 01:00:00,643
- Here you go.
- Okay, bud.

1169
01:00:01,139 --> 01:00:02,231
Okay, bud.

1170
01:00:02,390 --> 01:00:03,516
- All right, I got you.
- All right.

1171
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:04,852
All right, well, have a great drive.

1172
01:00:04,935 --> 01:00:05,982
- We'll see you up there.
- Thank you.

1173
01:00:08,146 --> 01:00:10,114
Wow, you must be Kurt.

1174
01:00:10,273 --> 01:00:12,321
- Yeah, yeah. Hey, babe.
- Hi.

1175
01:00:13,110 --> 01:00:14,236
Boy, you were not kidding.

1176
01:00:14,319 --> 01:00:17,323
You are one extremely handsome
German man.

1177
01:00:17,823 --> 01:00:19,746
I'm actually from Long Island,
but, how are you?

1178
01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:24,330
Right. I'm Jason. This is my son.

1179
01:00:25,038 --> 01:00:26,039
- Hey, buddy.
- They know each other.

1180
01:00:26,123 --> 01:00:28,592
- Take it up top. Take it up top.
- Who's that? Who's that?

1181
01:00:28,667 --> 01:00:29,668
That hurts!

1182
01:00:30,418 --> 01:00:31,761
Oh, come here, you.

1183
01:00:32,003 --> 01:00:34,927
- Oh, I got you. I got you.
- You want Kurt? You want Kurt?

1184
01:00:35,006 --> 01:00:37,179
- Hey, buddy, good to see you again. Yeah.
- I know. I know.

1185
01:00:37,259 --> 01:00:38,602
- Hi.
- Hey, how are you?

1186
01:00:38,677 --> 01:00:41,100
I'm good. Oh, it's your best friend!

1187
01:00:41,471 --> 01:00:42,814
It's your best friend!

1188
01:00:42,973 --> 01:00:44,520
- What have I got in here?
- What did you bring'?

1189
01:00:44,683 --> 01:00:47,106
Look at that treat. Check that out.

1190
01:00:47,185 --> 01:00:48,687
- Look at that.
- That's yummy.

1191
01:00:48,770 --> 01:00:49,987
That's so nice of you.

1192
01:00:50,147 --> 01:00:53,196
You know what, we don't actually
allow sweets this early in the day.

1193
01:00:53,525 --> 01:00:56,904
Oh, you know what,
but this is actually the fake stuff, carob.

1194
01:00:56,987 --> 01:00:58,113
It just looks like chocolate.

1195
01:00:58,196 --> 01:01:02,246
The good thing is, he won't notice
the difference for another two years.

1196
01:01:02,325 --> 01:01:03,326
I hope that's okay.

1197
01:01:05,370 --> 01:01:06,713
Yeah, that's fine.

1198
01:01:18,675 --> 01:01:21,019
You gonna carry the boots, Cole?

1199
01:01:33,231 --> 01:01:36,075
Pretty great, huh? What do you think, bud?

1200
01:01:38,361 --> 01:01:41,456
- I'm moving in. Don't tell Alex.
- I want to stay forever. Can we?

1201
01:01:41,531 --> 01:01:42,748
Oh, my God, look, look, look.

1202
01:01:42,824 --> 01:01:45,748
We're gonna put it right over there.
Don't get too close to that fire.

1203
01:01:45,911 --> 01:01:47,504
Do you see that?

1204
01:01:48,830 --> 01:01:50,628
Seriously, look at all the men.

1205
01:01:51,082 --> 01:01:52,709
I'm happy with all the accessories.

1206
01:01:52,918 --> 01:01:54,261
And then look at him.

1207
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:55,967
- I know.
- Ready?

1208
01:01:56,087 --> 01:01:57,339
But he did that!

1209
01:01:57,422 --> 01:01:59,845
Reinforcements flying in.

1210
01:02:01,968 --> 01:02:07,145
Oh, my God. Miss, you want some... Sorry!

1211
01:02:07,224 --> 01:02:08,521
- Hey, everybody!
- Do you wanna top up?

1212
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,227
- Hey!
- This is MJ.

1213
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:11,777
Hi.

1214
01:02:12,604 --> 01:02:15,357
- Good God, hello.
- This is Alex right here. MJ.

1215
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:17,283
- Alex. MJ.
- Hi, I'm Alex.

1216
01:02:17,359 --> 01:02:19,282
- Hi, Alex. How are you?
- How are you'?

1217
01:02:19,361 --> 01:02:21,204
- Good, nice to meet you.
- Holy God.

1218
01:02:21,279 --> 01:02:22,371
- Hey, man.
- Well done.

1219
01:02:22,447 --> 01:02:25,166
- I'm sorry about my husband. I'm Leslie.
- Hi. It's okay. Hi. How are you?

1220
01:02:25,450 --> 01:02:27,327
That was good help, buddy,
thank you very much.

1221
01:02:27,410 --> 01:02:28,707
- Did you meet MJ?
- Yeah, we just met.

1222
01:02:28,787 --> 01:02:30,539
- Hey, did you meet MJ?
- I did. I met her.

1223
01:02:30,622 --> 01:02:32,795
Good. Did you meet everybody?

1224
01:02:33,124 --> 01:02:34,296
Hi, I'm Ben.

1225
01:02:34,542 --> 01:02:35,885
That's Ben over there.

1226
01:02:36,461 --> 01:02:37,804
Hi, I'm Julie.

1227
01:02:37,963 --> 01:02:39,636
- Hi, I'm MJ.
- Sorry, this is Julie.

1228
01:02:39,714 --> 01:02:41,432
This is Julie, and this is MJ.

1229
01:02:41,508 --> 01:02:43,727
- Nice to meet you finally.
- Of course. I've heard so much about you,

1230
01:02:43,802 --> 01:02:48,023
I feel like I know you. I have two
of your thongs in my apartment.

1231
01:02:48,098 --> 01:02:49,099
I washed them.

1232
01:02:50,976 --> 01:02:52,319
- Night, you guys.
- Night.

1233
01:02:53,228 --> 01:02:54,525
- Hey.
- Hey.

1234
01:02:54,604 --> 01:02:55,696
I just didn't know what you were thinking,

1235
01:02:55,772 --> 01:02:58,116
if you wanted him in your room
or ours tonight.

1236
01:02:59,985 --> 01:03:01,953
Can you do me a favor
and keep him with you guys tonight?

1237
01:03:02,654 --> 01:03:07,160
It's just, she makes a lot of noise
and between that and the positions

1238
01:03:08,326 --> 01:03:11,205
that we do,
I just don't want to scare him, you know?

1239
01:03:11,538 --> 01:03:13,540
Right. Right. Okay.

1240
01:03:14,457 --> 01:03:17,006
Well, sometimes we can be loud, too.

1241
01:03:18,336 --> 01:03:21,010
Okay, all right, great.
We'll take him tonight then.

1242
01:03:21,381 --> 01:03:22,598
- Great, you're the best.
- Okay.

1243
01:03:22,674 --> 01:03:23,675
Good night, buddy.

1244
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:25,097
- Have fun.
- Thanks a lot.

1245
01:03:25,176 --> 01:03:26,177
Yep.

1246
01:03:40,859 --> 01:03:42,111
Aneurysm or cancer?

1247
01:03:44,154 --> 01:03:46,156
- I'm sorry, what?
- Which would you choose?

1248
01:03:46,865 --> 01:03:48,913
- Neither.
- No, it's a game. You have to choose.

1249
01:03:48,992 --> 01:03:50,039
Which would you rather?

1250
01:03:53,163 --> 01:03:55,757
Think about it, aneurysm, it goes fast,
you don't even know it's happening,

1251
01:03:55,832 --> 01:04:00,008
which is nice, but cancer,
you get to prepare, say your goodbyes,

1252
01:04:00,086 --> 01:04:01,338
maybe write a memoir, so...

1253
01:04:01,421 --> 01:04:03,389
Okay, all right, in that case,
I would go with cancer.

1254
01:04:03,465 --> 01:04:04,466
Okay.

1255
01:04:04,549 --> 01:04:06,893
Right? Because with early detection
and vigilance...

1256
01:04:06,968 --> 01:04:09,471
No, no, no. You don't get it,
you don't get it. You're dying!

1257
01:04:09,554 --> 01:04:10,931
Right? Either way you're dying.

1258
01:04:11,222 --> 01:04:12,724
Okay, got it.

1259
01:04:16,227 --> 01:04:19,071
Why am I dying? Why is this fun?

1260
01:04:21,066 --> 01:04:22,409
Forget it.

1261
01:04:25,028 --> 01:04:29,499
Look, if you want to talk about these
terribly depressing things, I'm totally game.

1262
01:04:29,574 --> 01:04:31,668
All right?
I don't want to ruin your holiday, so...

1263
01:04:31,743 --> 01:04:33,290
How about waterboarding,
how do you feel about that?

1264
01:04:33,370 --> 01:04:34,713
That's good and depressing.

1265
01:04:34,788 --> 01:04:37,837
For the record, I'm against it,
but it is depressing.

1266
01:04:37,916 --> 01:04:41,090
I'm just tired. You don't have to do anything.

1267
01:04:41,753 --> 01:04:42,925
All right, sorry.

1268
01:04:43,213 --> 01:04:44,180
You like this?

1269
01:04:44,255 --> 01:04:45,507
- You want this?
- Thank you.

1270
01:04:46,257 --> 01:04:47,804
Yeah, give everybody the food...

1271
01:04:47,884 --> 01:04:49,386
Oh, we lost one!

1272
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:52,313
You have to eat.

1273
01:04:52,931 --> 01:04:55,150
- Honey, please.
- MJ, I should warn you, we're pretty good.

1274
01:04:55,433 --> 01:04:58,061
We used to have a ski share every winter,
so just try and keep up.

1275
01:04:58,144 --> 01:05:02,149
I'm probably going to be boarding
just because I'm not 100, so...

1276
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:03,908
Oh, my God.

1277
01:05:04,109 --> 01:05:05,110
Okay.

1278
01:05:05,443 --> 01:05:06,820
Stop it. Stop it.

1279
01:05:07,278 --> 01:05:09,827
Hey, are you sure this is okay?
I can do a half day,

1280
01:05:09,906 --> 01:05:12,750
- come back at 1:00 if you want'?
- No, no, no, I'll ski tomorrow. It's fine.

1281
01:05:12,826 --> 01:05:14,373
- You sure'?
- Yeah, it's fine.

1282
01:05:14,452 --> 01:05:17,706
Let's go, if you're skiing.
Cars are loaded up, grab your stuff, let's go.

1283
01:05:17,789 --> 01:05:19,917
Hey, Kurt, you in or out, buddy?

1284
01:05:20,250 --> 01:05:22,423
You know, I think I'm gonna stick around,
go tomorrow with Jule.

1285
01:05:22,502 --> 01:05:26,928
Besides, it looks like these guys
could use a little bit of a hand here.

1286
01:05:27,257 --> 01:05:28,429
Oh, God.

1287
01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:31,223
- Just take him, please.
- Of course, of course. I got him.

1288
01:05:31,302 --> 01:05:32,645
Are you okay, sweetie?

1289
01:05:35,598 --> 01:05:39,319
- I'm sorry, is it something I said, or...
- Don't ask.

1290
01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:49,867
Let's go!

1291
01:05:50,196 --> 01:05:52,324
- There's no line.
- Yeah, we'll catch up.

1292
01:05:55,743 --> 01:05:57,745
So how 'bout the whole
Ben and Missy of it all?

1293
01:05:57,829 --> 01:06:00,173
- Jesus. How 'bout just the Ben of it all?
- Right?

1294
01:06:01,666 --> 01:06:03,885
- That is one long, bad mood.
- Yeah, no shit.

1295
01:06:05,628 --> 01:06:09,849
- Kurt seems like a nice guy, though.
- Yeah. As long as Jule's happy.

1296
01:06:12,010 --> 01:06:13,478
MJ's great.

1297
01:06:14,512 --> 01:06:20,815
Dude, you have no idea.
I have never, ever had sex like this before.

1298
01:06:20,894 --> 01:06:22,896
No, it's crazy.

1299
01:06:23,521 --> 01:06:26,365
- I mean, like, I'm sore from overuse.
- Whoa, dude...

1300
01:06:26,524 --> 01:06:28,743
It's like hurting me just to stand here.

1301
01:06:28,818 --> 01:06:32,163
Seriously, a little sensitivity
for the have-nots, please.

1302
01:06:32,363 --> 01:06:35,913
Sorry. What, you guys
aren't really back in the saddle?

1303
01:06:35,992 --> 01:06:37,710
No. No, sir.

1304
01:06:38,536 --> 01:06:42,416
It's kind of hard to hit it when you have
two kids asleep and drooling on you.

1305
01:06:44,542 --> 01:06:46,795
So, what are we talking? Like once a...

1306
01:06:46,878 --> 01:06:50,473
- Once a month, is what we're talking.
- What?

1307
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:53,309
Maybe twice a month,
maybe it's not that bad.

1308
01:06:53,384 --> 01:06:55,978
- More when the grandparents visit.
- Oh, my God.

1309
01:06:56,054 --> 01:06:57,681
- I know.
- Oh, my God.

1310
01:06:57,764 --> 01:07:02,486
- I am so sorry, man. I had no idea.
- It's fine. It's fine. It's...

1311
01:07:02,727 --> 01:07:04,104
I feel like we're over the worst of it.

1312
01:07:04,896 --> 01:07:06,944
I've made my peace with it.

1313
01:07:07,565 --> 01:07:10,409
Come on! You coming? Let's go!

1314
01:07:13,238 --> 01:07:14,615
Let's do this.

1315
01:07:27,210 --> 01:07:28,928
You look beautiful, by the way.

1316
01:07:29,212 --> 01:07:32,056
Oh, my goodness, wow. Hi.

1317
01:07:32,131 --> 01:07:33,303
- You look great.
- Thank you.

1318
01:07:33,383 --> 01:07:36,933
I might need a moment to myself here
to think about your face and your body.

1319
01:07:37,303 --> 01:07:39,055
- Go masturbate.
- Okay...

1320
01:07:39,138 --> 01:07:41,311
Speaking of masturbating,
who wants some chicken?

1321
01:07:41,391 --> 01:07:43,769
- I do.
- I just love that...

1322
01:07:45,311 --> 01:07:49,111
Guys, guys, just before we all start eating.

1323
01:07:49,566 --> 01:07:53,116
I just wanted to say
how glad I am that we're all here.

1324
01:07:53,486 --> 01:07:56,160
You know, old friends and new.

1325
01:07:56,447 --> 01:07:59,951
It makes me happy, nice to meet you,
young lady.

1326
01:08:00,118 --> 01:08:03,497
And Kurt, if things don't work out
with you and Jule,

1327
01:08:03,580 --> 01:08:05,958
I just want you to know that
we would like you to live with us.

1328
01:08:06,916 --> 01:08:09,135
- Just help us raise our kids.
- Please.

1329
01:08:09,335 --> 01:08:12,714
I just want a role model
for my young boy, so...

1330
01:08:12,797 --> 01:08:15,676
But seriously, I did actually
want to make a little toast,

1331
01:08:15,758 --> 01:08:17,806
so if we can just raise our glasses.

1332
01:08:18,428 --> 01:08:19,600
To Jase and Jule.

1333
01:08:20,430 --> 01:08:23,559
That's right. I gotta hand it to you guys,

1334
01:08:23,641 --> 01:08:27,316
a year ago not everyone thought that
this little arrangement was gonna work out.

1335
01:08:28,146 --> 01:08:33,994
But... There was talk
that it might end in tears,

1336
01:08:34,152 --> 01:08:35,495
and lawsuits,

1337
01:08:35,862 --> 01:08:38,991
and possibly some broken bones,
maybe child services being called.

1338
01:08:39,365 --> 01:08:43,165
But it has been...
It has been really impressive to watch.

1339
01:08:44,037 --> 01:08:45,254
Wow, thanks, AI.

1340
01:08:45,330 --> 01:08:47,332
- That's lovely.
- We're proud of you.

1341
01:08:47,957 --> 01:08:49,675
- So cheers.
- Thanks, man.

1342
01:08:49,751 --> 01:08:50,968
Yeah, thanks a lot, AI.

1343
01:08:51,044 --> 01:08:52,261
- Cheers!
- Cheers!

1344
01:08:52,337 --> 01:08:54,431
- Love you guys.
- Cheers. Cheers.

1345
01:08:54,505 --> 01:08:56,974
- That was really sweet.
- You're really sweet, baby.

1346
01:08:57,634 --> 01:09:00,513
So, I'm curious,
whose idea was this anyhow?

1347
01:09:00,678 --> 01:09:02,021
- It was his.
- Hers.

1348
01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:03,432
- It was yours.
- It was mine?

1349
01:09:03,514 --> 01:09:04,606
- Yes.
- You're right.

1350
01:09:04,682 --> 01:09:06,229
She paid me $200,000

1351
01:09:06,309 --> 01:09:09,062
just so she could, like,
get involved with this gene pool.

1352
01:09:10,813 --> 01:09:13,817
No, it was kind of mutual. Right'? I mean...

1353
01:09:14,567 --> 01:09:17,662
Both wanted a kid,
and we hadn't met our people,

1354
01:09:17,737 --> 01:09:20,331
so we just decided to do it.

1355
01:09:21,199 --> 01:09:23,748
The truth is they just didn't want
to end up like us.

1356
01:09:23,826 --> 01:09:24,873
I wonder why...

1357
01:09:28,373 --> 01:09:32,048
- Honey, don't you think you've had enough?
- No, I think I'm fine. Thank you.

1358
01:09:35,338 --> 01:09:36,385
Unbelievable.

1359
01:09:42,929 --> 01:09:45,478
- This food is amazing!
- It is good!

1360
01:09:45,556 --> 01:09:46,773
It's so moist.

1361
01:09:46,891 --> 01:09:49,144
- What is that sauce, is that mushrooms?
- It's amazing.

1362
01:09:49,227 --> 01:09:50,524
I threw mushrooms in there.

1363
01:09:50,603 --> 01:09:54,403
So, have you guys thought about what
you're gonna tell Joe when he gets older?

1364
01:09:54,524 --> 01:09:57,027
I mean, I'm sure you're going to have to deal
with some of the same issues

1365
01:09:57,110 --> 01:09:59,158
- that I'm dealing with right now.
- What do you mean?

1366
01:09:59,237 --> 01:10:01,205
How do you explain to your kids

1367
01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:03,829
that their parents
want to be with other people,

1368
01:10:03,908 --> 01:10:06,206
and all of the sort of
conflicting theories on that.

1369
01:10:06,285 --> 01:10:07,286
Right.

1370
01:10:07,412 --> 01:10:10,336
I probably don't need to tell you, you
probably already did exhaustive research

1371
01:10:10,415 --> 01:10:14,386
on how it's gonna affect him,
and the right way to handle it, and all that.

1372
01:10:14,460 --> 01:10:20,934
Yeah, no, I mean we definitely
read all the books, and articles and...

1373
01:10:21,092 --> 01:10:22,969
Blogs, and... You know.

1374
01:10:23,428 --> 01:10:25,180
- On all the various... I mean...
- Right.

1375
01:10:25,263 --> 01:10:27,231
- I mean, we definitely...
- We got into it.

1376
01:10:28,266 --> 01:10:30,815
- All over the place.
- Yeah, 'cause when you're dealing

1377
01:10:30,893 --> 01:10:33,191
<i>with something as important
as bringing a child into the world,</i>

1378
01:10:33,271 --> 01:10:35,945
you might want to have
a few key discussions, you know?

1379
01:10:36,274 --> 01:10:38,697
Maybe sign a legal document or something?

1380
01:10:39,944 --> 01:10:44,620
No, this way was more of a "Let's just
roll the dice and see what happens," right?

1381
01:10:45,616 --> 01:10:47,118
It's just a life.

1382
01:10:48,119 --> 01:10:50,668
Yeah, but the proof is in the pudding.
I mean, he's a great kid.

1383
01:10:50,830 --> 01:10:52,207
- He is a great kid.
- Yeah.

1384
01:10:52,290 --> 01:10:54,418
- He's a great kid.
- And funny.

1385
01:10:54,500 --> 01:10:57,504
The kid's got shtick,
already got shtick, this kid.

1386
01:10:57,920 --> 01:10:59,888
Yeah, we think he's pretty great, Ben.

1387
01:11:00,256 --> 01:11:02,475
But do any parents ever say
that their kid's not great?

1388
01:11:03,092 --> 01:11:04,594
I mean, that's like really taboo.

1389
01:11:04,677 --> 01:11:07,601
They'd probably revoke
your parenting license or something.

1390
01:11:08,806 --> 01:11:10,979
What about you, Maryjane,
do you want to have kids?

1391
01:11:11,142 --> 01:11:12,439
Oh, God, no!

1392
01:11:12,810 --> 01:11:16,155
I mean, it's amazing for you guys,
and you're all doing such a good job,

1393
01:11:16,230 --> 01:11:18,232
and you're happy, and it makes sense,

1394
01:11:18,691 --> 01:11:21,786
but I'm like a gypsy.
I do eight shows a week and I'm never home,

1395
01:11:21,861 --> 01:11:25,081
and I have to be able to leave town
on a moment's notice.

1396
01:11:25,156 --> 01:11:28,501
And, honestly, I've just never had the urge.

1397
01:11:29,786 --> 01:11:31,754
And I really enjoy my freedom, so...

1398
01:11:31,829 --> 01:11:33,297
- She does.
- I do.

1399
01:11:33,372 --> 01:11:35,215
- You like your freedom.
- I like it.

1400
01:11:35,291 --> 01:11:37,510
You know, some people
just aren't meant to be parents.

1401
01:11:40,880 --> 01:11:44,225
Look, none of us really
ever thinks we're doing a perfect job.

1402
01:11:44,342 --> 01:11:45,810
- Right.
- God, yeah.

1403
01:11:45,968 --> 01:11:47,766
But it's just par for the course.
That's the gig.

1404
01:11:47,845 --> 01:11:49,597
But then you have those moments,
you come home from work,

1405
01:11:49,680 --> 01:11:51,933
you open the door, your kid runs in
and gives you a big hug,

1406
01:11:52,016 --> 01:11:53,563
and it's kind of game over, right?

1407
01:11:53,684 --> 01:11:55,937
And that's kind of the whole thing
right there, you know.

1408
01:11:56,020 --> 01:11:59,149
But how are you two gonna deal with this?

1409
01:12:01,067 --> 01:12:04,162
I mean, if all this awesomeness continues.

1410
01:12:04,529 --> 01:12:09,376
You know what, I feel like there are so many
unconventional parenting situations,

1411
01:12:09,450 --> 01:12:11,828
I mean, Cole came home the other day

1412
01:12:11,911 --> 01:12:14,164
and asked why his friend Bobby
had two moms.

1413
01:12:14,580 --> 01:12:16,378
- Not everybody is the same.
- Right.

1414
01:12:16,541 --> 01:12:20,671
Well, look, I know for my part,
I'm not gonna introduce Jule to my kids

1415
01:12:20,753 --> 01:12:24,758
until I'm certain
we're fully committed to one another.

1416
01:12:25,007 --> 01:12:29,057
It'll be too confusing for them
if they see their dad

1417
01:12:29,220 --> 01:12:31,063
with a different woman
every couple of months.

1418
01:12:31,222 --> 01:12:33,065
- Sure. No, that makes sense.
- Yeah.

1419
01:12:34,892 --> 01:12:37,395
Jase, you're fucked.
What are you going to do?

1420
01:12:38,396 --> 01:12:39,568
What?

1421
01:12:39,730 --> 01:12:41,778
This is the longest relationship he's been in.

1422
01:12:41,983 --> 01:12:44,031
And what is it, seven weeks old?
How old is it?

1423
01:12:44,110 --> 01:12:45,828
Okay, all right.

1424
01:12:46,404 --> 01:12:47,530
You know what, Benny?

1425
01:12:47,613 --> 01:12:51,789
I don't know if you've noticed,
but I have never been happier, so...

1426
01:12:52,243 --> 01:12:53,916
People change, you know?

1427
01:12:54,704 --> 01:12:57,708
God knows you have. What is that,
your sixth scotch? Is that what's going on?

1428
01:12:57,790 --> 01:13:00,384
No, this is not booze...
This is not booze talking.

1429
01:13:00,459 --> 01:13:03,087
I'm just trying to set it straight,
put it out there,

1430
01:13:03,254 --> 01:13:06,724
because I think our friend Kurt here has
actually raised some very good questions.

1431
01:13:06,799 --> 01:13:08,142
I mean, seriously,

1432
01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:11,763
you guys didn't think any of this through.

1433
01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:17,401
You made a totally irresponsible decision
about a kid!

1434
01:13:17,602 --> 01:13:21,106
And, yeah, Joe is fine now. He's one!

1435
01:13:21,606 --> 01:13:25,486
But do you really think
he's going to be okay later

1436
01:13:25,568 --> 01:13:27,866
when he finds out that his parents
never loved each other?

1437
01:13:27,945 --> 01:13:29,037
Even when they had him?

1438
01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:32,830
That it was just some, like, arrangement,
so they could have sex with hotter people!

1439
01:13:32,992 --> 01:13:34,084
Ben!

1440
01:13:34,285 --> 01:13:37,505
Do you really think you of all people
should be doling out parenting advice?

1441
01:13:37,580 --> 01:13:38,877
You really think Troy's doing great

1442
01:13:38,956 --> 01:13:40,708
being around two people
that fucking hate each other?

1443
01:13:40,791 --> 01:13:43,260
- Hey, hey, hey, guys...
- I'm being serious!

1444
01:13:43,336 --> 01:13:45,714
It's a nice night, let's just have New Year's...

1445
01:13:45,796 --> 01:13:48,891
You know, why don't we just dial it down
a notch'? I mean, it's a ski trip!

1446
01:13:48,966 --> 01:13:51,139
No, no, no, you know what?
You know what? I'm not finished.

1447
01:13:51,469 --> 01:13:54,313
You think that I haven't
thought this through?

1448
01:13:56,807 --> 01:13:59,105
You think that we don't love each other?

1449
01:14:00,978 --> 01:14:04,482
You know, I've loved this girl
for 19 years, Ben.

1450
01:14:04,774 --> 01:14:06,492
That is fully half of my life.

1451
01:14:06,859 --> 01:14:09,078
I know everything
there is to know about her.

1452
01:14:09,153 --> 01:14:12,532
I know the mood she's in
when she wakes up in the morning.

1453
01:14:12,615 --> 01:14:15,619
Always happy, ready for the day,
can you imagine'?

1454
01:14:15,826 --> 01:14:17,624
I know that she's honest,

1455
01:14:17,787 --> 01:14:20,256
she won't even take the little
shampoo bottles from the hotel room,

1456
01:14:20,331 --> 01:14:22,425
or sneak into the movie theater
for a double feature.

1457
01:14:22,500 --> 01:14:24,844
She always buys a second ticket, always.

1458
01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:27,259
I know that we have the same values,

1459
01:14:27,338 --> 01:14:31,343
we have the same taste,
we have the same sense of humor.

1460
01:14:32,551 --> 01:14:36,226
I know that we both think that
organized religion is completely full of shit.

1461
01:14:36,305 --> 01:14:38,728
I know that if she is ever paralyzed
from the neck down,

1462
01:14:38,808 --> 01:14:41,812
she would like me to unplug her, and I will.

1463
01:14:43,229 --> 01:14:46,904
I know her position on just about
everything, and I am on board!

1464
01:14:46,983 --> 01:14:49,406
I am on board with everything about her.

1465
01:14:49,485 --> 01:14:50,987
So you tell me, Ben!

1466
01:14:52,363 --> 01:14:55,412
What better woman could I have picked
to be the mother of my child?

1467
01:14:55,533 --> 01:14:56,534
Seriously!

1468
01:14:56,701 --> 01:14:59,124
What more responsible choice
could I have made?

1469
01:14:59,203 --> 01:15:00,455
You tell me!

1470
01:15:00,538 --> 01:15:02,040
Fucking prick!

1471
01:15:03,332 --> 01:15:05,926
Seriously, so whatever happens,
whatever the fuck happens,

1472
01:15:06,002 --> 01:15:08,346
this year, or next year, or whenever,

1473
01:15:10,047 --> 01:15:11,048
we're gonna be fine.

1474
01:15:11,757 --> 01:15:12,883
Okay?

1475
01:15:13,384 --> 01:15:14,476
Okay.

1476
01:15:16,220 --> 01:15:17,472
Whatever.

1477
01:15:18,222 --> 01:15:21,817
You always want to find some way
to stay above the fray, right?

1478
01:15:21,892 --> 01:15:24,361
Have your cake and eat it, too.
Well, guess what?

1479
01:15:24,520 --> 01:15:28,696
If you think that you and Jule
are gonna be BFFs for life,

1480
01:15:28,858 --> 01:15:31,111
- and that Titty McTittenheimer...
- Hey!

1481
01:15:31,193 --> 01:15:32,445
- ...greatest fuck in your life...
- Hey!

1482
01:15:32,528 --> 01:15:34,906
And "Oh, my God, she snowboards,"

1483
01:15:35,072 --> 01:15:39,748
is not gonna make you bored as shit
one day, then you are fucking wrong!

1484
01:15:42,121 --> 01:15:46,547
I mean, Missy and I used to have sex
in the bathroom of the train

1485
01:15:46,625 --> 01:15:48,593
because we couldn't wait to get home.

1486
01:15:48,878 --> 01:15:51,176
She gave me a fucking blowjob
on the Taconic!

1487
01:15:51,255 --> 01:15:52,256
Now look at us!

1488
01:15:56,302 --> 01:15:59,431
But good luck to you guys.
I can't wait to see how it all turns out.

1489
01:16:05,728 --> 01:16:07,401
Sweetie, are you...

1490
01:16:08,272 --> 01:16:10,195
Hey, it's okay.

1491
01:16:47,645 --> 01:16:49,898
Hey, babe, what's up? You okay?

1492
01:16:49,980 --> 01:16:52,824
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- You sure?

1493
01:16:53,484 --> 01:16:55,532
You look a little...

1494
01:16:57,488 --> 01:16:59,991
Sorry, no. It's just stuff.

1495
01:17:39,238 --> 01:17:43,459
Okay, so, Maryjane,
this is my father and my mother.

1496
01:17:43,534 --> 01:17:44,581
- Hi. How are you?
- I'm Marcy.

1497
01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:46,287
- Marcy, it's so nice to meet you.
- It's nice to meet you.

1498
01:17:46,370 --> 01:17:48,122
- That's my dad.
- Hi, Phil. How are you?

1499
01:17:48,205 --> 01:17:50,253
- You were stunning. Absolutely stunning.
- Thank you. Thank you.

1500
01:17:52,501 --> 01:17:54,174
Hey, good morning.

1501
01:17:55,838 --> 01:17:56,885
They look beautiful.

1502
01:18:36,420 --> 01:18:38,047
Mom, I'm gonna go.

1503
01:18:40,424 --> 01:18:42,927
- You look beautiful.
- Thanks.

1504
01:18:43,469 --> 01:18:45,642
Are you certain this is okay?
Are you okay with him?

1505
01:18:45,804 --> 01:18:48,273
Are you kidding? I live for this.

1506
01:18:48,432 --> 01:18:50,309
I just wish you'd ask me more often.

1507
01:18:51,268 --> 01:18:54,442
I'm sorry. I didn't know that.

1508
01:18:55,940 --> 01:18:58,614
See, that's my baby.

1509
01:18:59,109 --> 01:19:01,453
Your momma is my baby.

1510
01:19:02,988 --> 01:19:05,332
Okay, gorgeous boy,
let's go get you dressed.

1511
01:19:05,491 --> 01:19:07,619
All right, sweetheart. I love you.

1512
01:19:08,953 --> 01:19:10,170
- Bye.
- Bye.

1513
01:19:10,621 --> 01:19:11,622
Love you.

1514
01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:13,632
Thanks, Mom.

1515
01:19:20,256 --> 01:19:21,303
Hey.

1516
01:19:22,299 --> 01:19:23,596
- Hi.
- Happy birthday.

1517
01:19:23,759 --> 01:19:25,636
- Thanks.
- Wow, you look great.

1518
01:19:25,719 --> 01:19:26,720
Thanks.

1519
01:19:27,471 --> 01:19:29,189
Where is everybody?
I thought I'd be the last.

1520
01:19:29,807 --> 01:19:31,059
You are.

1521
01:19:31,350 --> 01:19:33,068
- What?
- It's just us.

1522
01:19:33,143 --> 01:19:34,941
- Your table is ready.
- Thank you.

1523
01:19:35,813 --> 01:19:38,191
Don't tell me everybody's sitter crapped out.

1524
01:19:38,274 --> 01:19:41,778
- Yeah, something like that.
- I'm sorry, doll, that sucks.

1525
01:19:41,860 --> 01:19:43,112
- Thank you. It's all right.
- Thanks.

1526
01:19:45,030 --> 01:19:46,828
Well, where's Kurt?

1527
01:19:47,783 --> 01:19:50,161
Kurt is not coming.

1528
01:19:51,328 --> 01:19:53,547
Oh, shit. You guys have a fight?

1529
01:19:54,164 --> 01:19:55,256
No.

1530
01:20:00,796 --> 01:20:02,514
I don't understand, so what's wrong?

1531
01:20:02,840 --> 01:20:06,310
Nothing. Nothing. Kurt is...

1532
01:20:07,678 --> 01:20:08,725
Perfect.

1533
01:20:08,804 --> 01:20:11,182
Yes. It's annoying.

1534
01:20:15,686 --> 01:20:19,156
- He wants me to meet his kids this weekend.
- Oh, yeah?

1535
01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:23,285
Wow, that's big. You ready for it?

1536
01:20:28,324 --> 01:20:29,325
No.

1537
01:20:29,992 --> 01:20:34,543
Doll, what is it?
You seem weird, or sad, or something.

1538
01:20:38,334 --> 01:20:41,304
Kurt is

1539
01:20:41,378 --> 01:20:43,801
the nicest,

1540
01:20:43,881 --> 01:20:45,508
smartest,

1541
01:20:45,591 --> 01:20:47,810
hottest,

1542
01:20:47,885 --> 01:20:50,729
most caring man I have ever dated.

1543
01:20:51,889 --> 01:20:52,890
Yep.

1544
01:20:53,098 --> 01:20:54,224
Seems to have it all.

1545
01:20:55,392 --> 01:20:57,690
Several notches above Andy
on his best day.

1546
01:20:59,021 --> 01:21:03,242
And for some strange reason,
he seems genuinely into me.

1547
01:21:04,443 --> 01:21:06,741
He adores you, it's obvious.

1548
01:21:09,573 --> 01:21:12,042
But all I do when I'm with him
is think about you.

1549
01:21:18,791 --> 01:21:23,422
I didn't invite Kurt or anyone here tonight

1550
01:21:25,881 --> 01:21:28,100
because I just wanted to be with family.

1551
01:21:30,803 --> 01:21:32,305
You're my family.

1552
01:21:33,389 --> 01:21:35,107
You and Joe. Just you and Joe.

1553
01:21:35,265 --> 01:21:38,815
Not my mom, not even Leslie.
Just you guys.

1554
01:21:41,313 --> 01:21:43,190
I'm so in love with you
I don't know what to do.

1555
01:21:43,273 --> 01:21:44,616
Oh, honey...

1556
01:21:48,487 --> 01:21:50,114
Hey, hey. hey-

1557
01:21:51,073 --> 01:21:53,075
It's okay. It's okay.

1558
01:21:59,957 --> 01:22:01,959
Hey, hey, hey, Jule, Jule...

1559
01:22:04,336 --> 01:22:07,806
I don't know
when you started the cocktails...

1560
01:22:08,132 --> 01:22:09,475
I'm not drunk.

1561
01:22:09,925 --> 01:22:11,142
I'm not drunk.

1562
01:22:13,512 --> 01:22:14,934
Well, I'm with Maryjane.

1563
01:22:15,013 --> 01:22:18,438
I know, but you and I both know
that's gonna burn out soon.

1564
01:22:18,517 --> 01:22:19,860
Jule...

1565
01:22:21,061 --> 01:22:22,734
She's moving in with me.

1566
01:22:36,243 --> 01:22:40,464
But all those things that you said
at the cabin, you said...

1567
01:22:40,831 --> 01:22:42,333
Yeah, I meant all of them.

1568
01:22:43,750 --> 01:22:47,300
Jule, I love you so much.

1569
01:22:49,923 --> 01:22:50,924
As a friend.

1570
01:22:53,510 --> 01:22:54,807
You're my best friend.

1571
01:22:56,346 --> 01:22:58,223
You're my best friend.

1572
01:23:00,017 --> 01:23:03,317
I'm just not attracted to you...

1573
01:23:05,898 --> 01:23:06,945
Like that.

1574
01:23:07,441 --> 01:23:10,570
I mean, God knows you're attractive,
you are beautiful.

1575
01:23:10,694 --> 01:23:11,866
I'm just...

1576
01:23:13,197 --> 01:23:16,918
See, I thought you felt the same way.

1577
01:23:18,243 --> 01:23:19,335
Jule...

1578
01:23:33,217 --> 01:23:36,892
"Feel the ground, ants running round.

1579
01:23:37,930 --> 01:23:40,604
"Feel the ground,
you scratched little feet."

1580
01:23:49,316 --> 01:23:52,490
You know, leaving a rent-stabilized
apartment in Manhattan

1581
01:23:52,569 --> 01:23:55,243
is considered a cry for help in many circles.

1582
01:24:01,078 --> 01:24:02,330
Brooklyn, huh?

1583
01:24:02,412 --> 01:24:04,881
Never thought that day would come.

1584
01:24:06,583 --> 01:24:09,086
That's two cards. Just so you know.

1585
01:24:09,253 --> 01:24:11,631
PS 687 is the best public pre-school.

1586
01:24:12,089 --> 01:24:14,763
And you know I can't afford
half of 20K a year for private.

1587
01:24:14,925 --> 01:24:16,142
I don't work in advertising.

1588
01:24:16,301 --> 01:24:18,599
You know I'd pay for school.
I've always said that.

1589
01:24:18,679 --> 01:24:20,022
No, that's not the arrangement.

1590
01:24:20,097 --> 01:24:22,771
Everything down the middle, right? Even.

1591
01:24:23,433 --> 01:24:25,527
So you get to take him away from me?

1592
01:24:27,479 --> 01:24:32,326
- Three trains or a $70 cab ride? That's even?
- Please don't do this.

1593
01:24:32,526 --> 01:24:33,527
Well...

1594
01:24:34,152 --> 01:24:36,780
You can see him whenever you want,
as much as you want.

1595
01:24:37,322 --> 01:24:40,997
I just can't be close to you anymore.

1596
01:24:46,456 --> 01:24:50,461
- Where do you want this, hon?
- Right there is fine. Thanks.

1597
01:24:55,215 --> 01:24:57,309
Babe, you want a latte?

1598
01:24:58,135 --> 01:25:01,639
No, no, I'm on a cleanse.

1599
01:25:03,724 --> 01:25:05,897
I have to drop five by Friday.

1600
01:25:09,980 --> 01:25:12,233
A one, a two...

1601
01:25:16,737 --> 01:25:18,489
Wait, wait. Hold my hand.

1602
01:25:25,329 --> 01:25:26,922
That's what you need.
You need a guy like Jim.

1603
01:25:26,997 --> 01:25:28,249
That is true.

1604
01:25:28,332 --> 01:25:31,256
Wait a minute, I just got him.
Don't take him away.

1605
01:25:31,335 --> 01:25:32,837
You make the rest of us look bad.

1606
01:25:33,170 --> 01:25:34,513
Is it burning?

1607
01:25:34,588 --> 01:25:36,431
It's not burning? Okay.

1608
01:25:36,506 --> 01:25:38,474
- And what about...
- I don't want ketchup!

1609
01:25:38,550 --> 01:25:41,019
Is the ketchup
inside your nostril still burning, Milo?

1610
01:25:41,511 --> 01:25:42,933
- It's wet.
- Who made it wet?

1611
01:25:43,013 --> 01:25:44,936
- Whose big idea was that?
- Stop it. You guys.

1612
01:25:45,015 --> 01:25:46,983
You guys, I mean it. No, no, no.
We're doing so well.

1613
01:25:47,059 --> 01:25:49,608
Why would you wanna bring your kids
to a place like this'?

1614
01:25:49,686 --> 01:25:51,438
People are fucking crazy.

1615
01:25:53,523 --> 01:25:54,524
- Yeah.
- Good job.

1616
01:25:54,650 --> 01:25:56,448
Please, please, please don't.
Okay, thank you very much.

1617
01:25:56,526 --> 01:25:58,620
- Hi.
- Your kids are adorable.

1618
01:25:58,695 --> 01:26:01,790
Thank you. We thought we'd try.
See how far we get.

1619
01:26:01,865 --> 01:26:02,866
It's my husband's birthday.

1620
01:26:03,367 --> 01:26:05,119
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks.

1621
01:26:05,869 --> 01:26:10,215
- How old are they?
- She is seven, and the twins are five.

1622
01:26:11,375 --> 01:26:14,345
I have a boy.
He's gonna be two in a few months.

1623
01:26:14,419 --> 01:26:16,421
Oh, God. Get ready.

1624
01:26:18,006 --> 01:26:19,007
Thanks.

1625
01:26:20,258 --> 01:26:22,135
Actually, now I miss twos.

1626
01:26:23,804 --> 01:26:26,023
All right, you guys, listen.
Those nice people next to us,

1627
01:26:26,098 --> 01:26:30,274
they don't want French fries flying
into their plates, okay?

1628
01:26:30,352 --> 01:26:32,730
So if you eat everything,
and if you eat nicely,

1629
01:26:32,813 --> 01:26:35,191
we can have ice cream for dessert.

1630
01:26:40,320 --> 01:26:43,164
Hey, he's ready. I'll go get him.

1631
01:26:43,240 --> 01:26:47,586
- Hey, did you hear'? They're closing Ollie's.
- No, I hadn't.

1632
01:26:47,994 --> 01:26:49,086
End of an era.

1633
01:26:49,246 --> 01:26:51,248
- Let me... I'll go grab him.
- Okay.

1634
01:26:51,331 --> 01:26:52,753
Sweetie, your dad's here.

1635
01:26:53,417 --> 01:26:56,261
Hi! Oh, my goodness, you're gorgeous.

1636
01:26:56,336 --> 01:26:59,260
- Hi. So happy to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

1637
01:26:59,923 --> 01:27:02,517
We were just drinking heavily by ourselves.

1638
01:27:02,592 --> 01:27:05,095
- Thank you for saving us.
- Heavily. That's the best.

1639
01:27:06,096 --> 01:27:07,723
- That's even worse.
- I don't know whose it is.

1640
01:27:07,806 --> 01:27:09,934
It just comes out sometimes.

1641
01:27:12,018 --> 01:27:14,817
- Thanks for coming out, man.
- Yeah, sure.

1642
01:27:15,355 --> 01:27:18,199
- It's been a while.
- Yes, it has.

1643
01:27:20,110 --> 01:27:23,284
I just wanted to apologize in person,
by the way.

1644
01:27:24,281 --> 01:27:29,082
For being such a profound asshole
up in Vermont.

1645
01:27:29,411 --> 01:27:31,789
I was in a really bad place, man.

1646
01:27:32,372 --> 01:27:34,750
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you. Thanks.

1647
01:27:36,460 --> 01:27:37,677
Yeah, that wasn't great.

1648
01:27:41,006 --> 01:27:43,475
But you know what? You were right.

1649
01:27:44,634 --> 01:27:46,352
About pretty much everything.

1650
01:27:48,305 --> 01:27:50,148
Yeah, Alex told me about MJ.
Sorry about that.

1651
01:27:50,223 --> 01:27:52,646
Oh, no, that's fine.

1652
01:27:56,897 --> 01:27:58,820
It's everything else that really sucks.

1653
01:27:59,983 --> 01:28:02,202
Yeah, I heard about that, too.

1654
01:28:03,028 --> 01:28:05,827
It's amazing how fleeting it is, you know?

1655
01:28:07,199 --> 01:28:09,327
That thing, whatever it is.

1656
01:28:11,661 --> 01:28:13,083
Being into someone new.

1657
01:28:14,664 --> 01:28:16,792
Yes, I've had a few
one-night versions of that

1658
01:28:16,875 --> 01:28:19,924
over the last six months.
Not that I'm particularly proud of, but...

1659
01:28:20,170 --> 01:28:24,300
No, it's crazy. It's like one day,
they're the hottest thing on two legs,

1660
01:28:24,382 --> 01:28:28,478
and then the next,
they just look ugly to you.

1661
01:28:29,679 --> 01:28:31,773
That's why you stay with someone

1662
01:28:31,848 --> 01:28:35,523
you want to be with
under the worst possible circumstances.

1663
01:28:36,853 --> 01:28:41,404
That's what Missy and I didn't have.
When things were great, we were great.

1664
01:28:41,733 --> 01:28:44,782
As soon as things got hard,

1665
01:28:44,861 --> 01:28:46,534
we didn't want to be
anywhere near each other.

1666
01:28:53,203 --> 01:28:55,797
I had a really dirty dream about her.

1667
01:28:56,206 --> 01:28:57,958
MJ? I had like 10. Dude...

1668
01:28:58,041 --> 01:29:00,169
No. Dude, Julie.

1669
01:29:04,422 --> 01:29:05,548
Julie.

1670
01:29:05,632 --> 01:29:06,724
- Really?
- Yeah.

1671
01:29:07,551 --> 01:29:12,307
I don't know. I'm... You know.
It's like... Fucking Jesus.

1672
01:29:14,808 --> 01:29:18,563
So why didn't you guys ever even try
being together'?

1673
01:29:18,645 --> 01:29:21,865
I mean, after Andy was out of the picture,
you were right there.

1674
01:29:21,940 --> 01:29:25,410
I don't know, man.
Just too much familiarity, you know?

1675
01:29:27,571 --> 01:29:28,914
Nothing surprising.

1676
01:29:30,824 --> 01:29:33,953
It's like she's one of my limbs or something.

1677
01:29:34,035 --> 01:29:37,255
Like she's part of my body, you know?

1678
01:29:39,416 --> 01:29:42,135
And that's bad because...

1679
01:30:40,310 --> 01:30:41,653
Hey.

1680
01:30:43,229 --> 01:30:45,732
Hi, buddy. Hi, buddy.

1681
01:30:45,815 --> 01:30:47,067
- Did you have fun?
- Yeah.

1682
01:30:47,150 --> 01:30:48,572
Did you save any pizza for me?

1683
01:30:48,652 --> 01:30:51,075
No pizza for me. No pizza for me.

1684
01:30:51,154 --> 01:30:52,451
All right, listen, it's bedtime.

1685
01:30:52,530 --> 01:30:55,534
We should say good night to your dad.
It's way past your bedtime.

1686
01:30:55,617 --> 01:30:57,836
Wait. I just...

1687
01:30:57,911 --> 01:31:01,757
I know the big birthday is next week,
and I just...

1688
01:31:01,831 --> 01:31:04,004
You never opened your gift from last year,

1689
01:31:04,084 --> 01:31:06,928
so I just wanted to get it to you
under the wire.

1690
01:31:07,003 --> 01:31:10,177
That's nice. I don't need any gifts.

1691
01:31:10,256 --> 01:31:13,977
No, just take it. You know.
Throw it away if you want.

1692
01:31:14,052 --> 01:31:15,144
Open it! Open it!

1693
01:31:15,220 --> 01:31:17,723
- No, I don't really...
- Open it, Mommy!

1694
01:31:18,181 --> 01:31:20,104
No, sweetie, I'll just...

1695
01:31:20,183 --> 01:31:22,606
Thanks for taking him tonight.
I had a really rough deadline.

1696
01:31:22,686 --> 01:31:24,609
- Sure.
- Daddy, stay!

1697
01:31:25,397 --> 01:31:26,398
Daddy, stay!

1698
01:31:26,481 --> 01:31:29,530
- Okay, sweetie, we're gonna go to bed.
- Daddy, open present.

1699
01:31:29,609 --> 01:31:32,283
- That's okay.
- Stay and open present, Daddy!

1700
01:31:32,362 --> 01:31:35,115
You know what'? This is what we'll do.
We'll open the present real fast

1701
01:31:35,198 --> 01:31:37,121
<i>as long as you promise
to go right to bed, okay?</i>

1702
01:31:37,200 --> 01:31:39,248
- You promise to go right to bed.
- I want Daddy to put me to bed!

1703
01:31:40,787 --> 01:31:43,006
- No, that's okay, buddy.
- I want Daddy to put me to bed!

1704
01:31:44,374 --> 01:31:46,126
Daddy, stay!

1705
01:31:46,876 --> 01:31:49,345
Okay, all right, you know what?
We'll both put you to bed,

1706
01:31:49,421 --> 01:31:51,298
and then we'll open the present,

1707
01:31:51,381 --> 01:31:53,179
and then you're going to go to sleep
real quick, okay?

1708
01:31:53,258 --> 01:31:54,760
- Okay.
- Daddy, stay!

1709
01:31:55,468 --> 01:31:57,220
Here we go.

1710
01:31:57,887 --> 01:31:59,264
Come on in.

1711
01:32:00,807 --> 01:32:03,981
- Sorry, it's kind of a mess.
- Oh, no, it's great.

1712
01:32:04,227 --> 01:32:06,321
Wow, you get square footage
in Brooklyn, huh'?

1713
01:32:06,396 --> 01:32:08,069
Yeah, we like it.

1714
01:32:09,274 --> 01:32:13,154
Okay, you're going to open it really fast?
Are you gonna rip it open?

1715
01:32:13,236 --> 01:32:15,330
- Yeah.
- You're gonna rip it open?

1716
01:32:15,405 --> 01:32:17,328
- Real fast.
- Okay.

1717
01:32:17,407 --> 01:32:18,829
It's right through here.

1718
01:32:18,908 --> 01:32:23,254
Okay, bud, let's get you in your PJs,
and then we'll open the present, okay?

1719
01:32:23,329 --> 01:32:26,583
That's our deal, right?
Let's get you your PJs, okay?

1720
01:32:27,751 --> 01:32:29,469
- PJs?
- Top left.

1721
01:32:31,254 --> 01:32:33,006
Good job. Thank you.

1722
01:32:34,591 --> 01:32:36,434
Thank you very much.

1723
01:32:37,761 --> 01:32:39,513
- Here.
- Thank you.

1724
01:32:39,596 --> 01:32:42,270
Ready for rocket ship? Here you go.

1725
01:32:42,849 --> 01:32:43,850
Okay.-

1726
01:32:44,100 --> 01:32:46,774
These don't fit that well, huh?
I guess you're getting big.

1727
01:32:46,853 --> 01:32:50,699
- Yeah, I guess.
- Here, let's pull your arm right through here.

1728
01:32:51,107 --> 01:32:52,108
There we go.

1729
01:32:52,692 --> 01:32:54,865
- I do it.
- You wanna do it?

1730
01:32:54,944 --> 01:32:58,289
We gotta get your shoes off.
Let's put you in the bed. Real quick.

1731
01:32:58,615 --> 01:33:01,414
One foot. Other foot.

1732
01:33:01,493 --> 01:33:05,794
All right, there we go.
So now, let's open this present.

1733
01:33:07,290 --> 01:33:08,883
- You wanna tear it open?
- Sure.

1734
01:33:08,958 --> 01:33:11,052
Okay, let's rip it. Okay.

1735
01:33:12,337 --> 01:33:13,805
Oh, my goodness.

1736
01:33:13,880 --> 01:33:15,302
- Oh, my goodness.
- Joe power!

1737
01:33:15,381 --> 01:33:16,928
How did you do that so fast?

1738
01:33:17,467 --> 01:33:19,469
- Oh, my God.
- What is this?

1739
01:33:20,637 --> 01:33:22,890
- What's that?
- A video.

1740
01:33:22,972 --> 01:33:26,442
What is it, huh? You wanna look?

1741
01:33:31,189 --> 01:33:32,987
You wanna open it, sweetie?

1742
01:33:34,984 --> 01:33:37,533
Oh, God. Well, that's just mean.

1743
01:33:37,862 --> 01:33:39,580
- Who's that?
- You wanna know who this is?

1744
01:33:39,656 --> 01:33:42,830
That's Mommy, and that's Daddy.
Can you believe that?

1745
01:33:42,909 --> 01:33:45,662
Looking really, really dorky.

1746
01:33:45,745 --> 01:33:49,500
- That's Mommy and Daddy.
- That's just terrible. Terrible hair.

1747
01:33:49,582 --> 01:33:51,084
But anyway...

1748
01:33:51,167 --> 01:33:54,296
That was before your time.
We went on a really fun trip.

1749
01:33:55,171 --> 01:33:56,468
- And that's you.
- Wait. Wait.

1750
01:33:56,548 --> 01:33:58,016
Look at this.

1751
01:33:58,591 --> 01:33:59,638
That was you.

1752
01:33:59,717 --> 01:34:01,264
- That was you in Mommy's tummy.
- You were in that tummy.

1753
01:34:01,344 --> 01:34:02,846
- Inside the tummy.
- Right there. That was you.

1754
01:34:02,929 --> 01:34:04,897
- Can you imagine?
- There, see. See how fat I look.

1755
01:34:04,973 --> 01:34:05,974
Mommy looks beautiful.

1756
01:34:08,101 --> 01:34:09,353
That was my favorite.

1757
01:34:10,061 --> 01:34:12,189
Okay. Okay, that's enough.

1758
01:34:12,272 --> 01:34:15,071
Right? We made a deal, buddy, right?
Let's get you to bed.

1759
01:34:15,233 --> 01:34:16,826
Let's get you to bed.

1760
01:34:16,901 --> 01:34:19,324
All right, sweetheart. All right.

1761
01:34:19,571 --> 01:34:21,665
Let's take these pillows off.

1762
01:34:22,740 --> 01:34:26,370
I know. I know. Let's get your pillow.
Let's get you cozy.

1763
01:34:28,246 --> 01:34:30,374
I want Daddy to sleep at our house.

1764
01:34:35,128 --> 01:34:37,677
Why doesn't Daddy sleep
in our house?

1765
01:34:37,755 --> 01:34:41,510
Well, Daddy sleeps in his house,
and you know what'?

1766
01:34:41,593 --> 01:34:43,721
- What?
- You get two houses to sleep in

1767
01:34:43,803 --> 01:34:45,726
because you're the most special ever,

1768
01:34:45,805 --> 01:34:49,435
and only really special people get
two houses to sleep in.

1769
01:34:49,726 --> 01:34:51,649
I wish I could sleep at your house, bud.

1770
01:34:52,729 --> 01:34:54,276
What are you doing?

1771
01:34:56,065 --> 01:34:57,533
I want to stay in your house.

1772
01:34:59,402 --> 01:35:02,155
Okay, sweetie. I love you so much.
Good night, okay.

1773
01:35:05,783 --> 01:35:07,911
Okay, buddy, good night.

1774
01:35:07,994 --> 01:35:10,088
- I love you. Okay.
- Love you, too.

1775
01:35:13,249 --> 01:35:14,717
- Hey.
- What the hell was that about?

1776
01:35:14,792 --> 01:35:16,260
- You want to tell me what that was about?
- Sorry.

1777
01:35:16,336 --> 01:35:18,680
- I'm sorry.
- You can't say shit like that to a kid.

1778
01:35:18,755 --> 01:35:20,553
- You understand that?
- I know. I'm sorry.

1779
01:35:20,632 --> 01:35:21,975
I just...

1780
01:35:23,468 --> 01:35:25,891
You know, I didn't want him to...

1781
01:35:28,640 --> 01:35:29,937
I want...

1782
01:35:32,769 --> 01:35:33,770
Please don't do that.

1783
01:35:34,103 --> 01:35:35,730
- Please don't do that.
- I'm sorry.

1784
01:35:38,650 --> 01:35:41,824
Look, I don't know
where all this is coming from.

1785
01:35:42,320 --> 01:35:46,450
I'm sorry if you're feeling lonely, or guilty,
or whatever it is you're feeling,

1786
01:35:46,532 --> 01:35:49,376
but, look, you can't come into my house

1787
01:35:49,452 --> 01:35:52,456
and say all this confusing shit
to a two-and-a-half-year-old. You just can't.

1788
01:35:53,164 --> 01:35:56,714
- I know.
- Jase, I'm finally in a good place, okay?

1789
01:35:57,293 --> 01:36:01,764
I'm not angry at you. I'm not pining for you.
I'm dating a lot. I'm good.

1790
01:36:02,632 --> 01:36:05,636
So just... You should go home.

1791
01:36:07,178 --> 01:36:08,521
Okay, I...

1792
01:36:09,138 --> 01:36:11,561
You can get out this way. Please.

1793
01:36:44,424 --> 01:36:46,017
Fuck.

1794
01:38:36,452 --> 01:38:39,296
- What do you want?
- Slow painful death by disease.

1795
01:38:41,124 --> 01:38:44,469
- What?
- I'd like to revise my earlier answer.

1796
01:38:45,503 --> 01:38:50,009
- Okay, it's freezing, and I have no idea...
- I said that I would rather live

1797
01:38:50,091 --> 01:38:53,937
and watch the love of my life
die a slow painful death by disease

1798
01:38:54,011 --> 01:38:56,730
than myself die
a slow painful death by disease.

1799
01:38:59,475 --> 01:39:00,977
I don't feel that way anymore.

1800
01:39:02,145 --> 01:39:04,989
Because the thing is when I said that, I...

1801
01:39:06,190 --> 01:39:10,320
I'd never had a love of my life, okay?
I mean, I didn't know I did.

1802
01:39:10,987 --> 01:39:13,410
I was just too fucking stupid to realize it.

1803
01:39:13,489 --> 01:39:16,083
And it's not because I'm lonely,
or desperate, or whatever else you think.

1804
01:39:16,159 --> 01:39:19,333
It's because I realized
that we got it all wrong.

1805
01:39:20,371 --> 01:39:21,793
- Excuse me?
- Both of us.

1806
01:39:21,873 --> 01:39:24,922
I'm sorry. You're gonna really
come back here and tell me...

1807
01:39:25,001 --> 01:39:28,426
We had this great plan
that we would raise a kid together,

1808
01:39:28,504 --> 01:39:31,678
so we could still have
the romantic part, right?

1809
01:39:33,342 --> 01:39:35,436
But you see,

1810
01:39:35,511 --> 01:39:40,017
this was the romantic part.

1811
01:39:43,895 --> 01:39:46,694
Everything we had was the romantic part.

1812
01:39:49,609 --> 01:39:51,953
Everything else was just filler.

1813
01:39:55,448 --> 01:39:56,540
Shit!

1814
01:39:59,702 --> 01:40:00,703
Shit!

1815
01:40:02,205 --> 01:40:04,003
What am I supposed to do with that?

1816
01:40:05,541 --> 01:40:08,761
I mean, really, what am I supposed
to do with that?

1817
01:40:09,921 --> 01:40:12,800
Just come in here
and say all that great stuff.

1818
01:40:12,882 --> 01:40:14,850
And I'm just supposed
to believe you all of a sudden?

1819
01:40:14,926 --> 01:40:16,394
I mean, after everything
that we've been through?

1820
01:40:16,469 --> 01:40:18,187
- I know what I've said.
- After everything you said...

1821
01:40:18,262 --> 01:40:22,017
I know what I said that night,
and all I can say is I...

1822
01:40:26,229 --> 01:40:29,073
It was just too much, okay?

1823
01:40:31,567 --> 01:40:33,114
I wasn't ready.

1824
01:40:35,571 --> 01:40:38,120
Look, I know my timing sucks, but...

1825
01:40:41,953 --> 01:40:46,584
You're the love of my life, Jule.
You're my person, and...

1826
01:40:49,919 --> 01:40:51,091
That's just the way it is.

1827
01:40:54,799 --> 01:40:56,597
I miss you so much.

1828
01:41:00,429 --> 01:41:05,105
Don't you miss me at all?

1829
01:41:08,604 --> 01:41:09,856
Even a little?

1830
01:41:11,941 --> 01:41:14,660
- I miss you a little.
- Yeah?

1831
01:41:17,947 --> 01:41:23,499
But see, I'm not just gonna be with someone
who's not into me.

1832
01:41:32,962 --> 01:41:35,636
- Does that feel like not into you?
- No.

1833
01:41:36,340 --> 01:41:39,014
'Cause right now
I just really want to have sex with you.

1834
01:41:40,636 --> 01:41:41,728
I wanna fuck the shit out of you.

1835
01:41:43,514 --> 01:41:48,236
Please, please, just let me
fuck the shit out of you right now.

1836
01:41:48,853 --> 01:41:51,982
And if you're not convinced afterwards
that I am into you

1837
01:41:52,064 --> 01:41:55,238
in every possible way
a person can be into another person,

1838
01:41:55,318 --> 01:41:59,915
then I promise I will never try to kiss you,
or fuck you,

1839
01:41:59,989 --> 01:42:03,914
or impregnate you ever again,
as long as I live. I swear to God.

1840
01:42:05,328 --> 01:42:06,420
Okay?

1841
01:42:07,705 --> 01:42:08,922
Please.

1842
01:42:10,166 --> 01:42:11,383
Please.

1843
01:42:13,169 --> 01:42:14,512
What do you say?

1844
01:42:17,590 --> 01:42:18,933
I say...

1845
01:42:21,260 --> 01:42:22,853
Fuck the shit out of me.

1846
01:42:24,180 --> 01:42:25,306
Yeah?