I am the police. And I'm here to arrest you.
You've broken the law. I did not write the law.
I may even disagree with the law. But I will enforce it.
No matter how you plead, cajole, beg
or attempt to stir my sympathies,
nothing you do will stop me from placing you
in a steel cage with gray bars.
If you run away, I will chase you.
If you fight me, I will fight back.
If you shoot at me, I will shoot back.
Bylaw, lam unable to walk away.
I'm a consequence. I am the unpaid bill.
I am fate with a badge and a gun.
Behind my badge is a heart like yours.
I bleed. I think. I love.
And, yes, I can be killed.
And although lam but one man,
I have thousands of brothers and sisters who are the same as me.
They will lay down their lives for me. And I them.
We stand watch together.
A thin blue line.
Protecting the prey from the predators.
The good from the bad.
We are the police.
13 X-ray 9 is in pursuit of a Code 37 vehicle west on 2-7.
Go ahead, motherfucker. Try to run, you son of a bitch.
Hold on, hold on, hold on!
Eastbound through the alley at 20 hundred block from Hooper.
Now eastbound through the alley
at 20 hundred block from Hooper.
Oh, shit!
Come around, come around, dude! Come around!
Move! Move! Move! Get the fuck around, dude!
Pull to the right! Pull to the right!
Bro, he's not gonna pull to the right.
You stupid motherfucker!
Man, he almost lost it!
Pit him, man! Pit him, pit him!
Got him!
Fuck you!
You good? Good, good, good.
This fucker's down. I'm going to hook him.
You're all good.
13 X-ray 9, you can show a Code 4.
13 X 9 requesting
additional supervisors to the 4,000 block at Naomi.
Holy shit.
All right. This is my day job. Some of you...
Sorry, bro, I'm recording.
This is my day job. Some of you might know me as Brian.
Or Taylor.
But here I am Police Officer Two Brian Taylor.
This is where the forces of good
prepare to fight the forces of evil.
This is my partner, Officer Zavala.
I'm in my ohones, dude.
I know, dude, come on, come on. I'm in my ohones. No.
Come on, man. I'm good, bro.
We work basic patrol here at Newton.
One of the toughest divisions in the LAPD.
Shootin' Newton, baby, that's right. Lucky 13.
This is a department-issue sidearm. Glock 19.
Spyderco tactical knife.
This little thing can break windows, here.
Two Smith & Wesson handcuffs.
Can of OC spray. Pepper spray.
Two extra mags.
What else? That's my nametag, here.
You can see my partner's dirty locker.
Yours is like a woman. Look at this.
What is this, Pottery Barn?
Are you gonna shut the fuck up and get ready for roll call?
Dude, don't swear, man. I have to edit that out, when you swear.
Oh, fuck. Oh, shit, dude. Fuck, man.
Okay, now in Spanish.
Hey. You kids having fun?
Oh, look, it's Officer Van Hauser.
Officer Three. Van Hauser.
Considered un-promotable by the department.
And the angriest fucking cop in the world.
Taylor, I'm gonna tell Sarge that you're taping in here.
- What'd you say? - What?
I'm gonna tell Sarge that you're taping in here.
Oh. Yeah, well, it's not really called taping any more.
It uses flash cards, but it's not really a...
Don't worry about it.
God damn it!
Hold up, hold up.
Like that? Mmm-hmm.
Turn it on.
So, am I recording you?
Yes, dude, and I'm recording you.
Oh, that's so cool.
See that thing there? Yeah.
That is the lens right there.
Just like that on that, this right here.
Hey, guys, quiet down.
All right, let's settle down. Let's settle down.
Captain's here, he'd like to say a few words. Let's quiet down.
Thank you, Sergeant. Good afternoon.
Put it down.
I'd like to welcome back Zavala and Taylor.
DA cleared these guys in last month's shooting.
Turned out to be a good shooting.
I know first-hand what you guys went through.
It's an unpleasant experience being under that much scrutiny.
But you need to remember something.
An on-the-job shooting is still considered a homicide.
It's never an easy ride.
If you do the right thing, I will always have your back.
Do the wrong thing and cross me,
I will personally throw you under the bus.
- Am I clear? - Yes, sir!
Taylor, am I clear? Yes, sir.
Sergeant, am I clear? Yes, sir.
- Have a nice day. - Thank you, Captain.
Quiet down! See this? It's a ticket book.
Inside are things called tickets.
Son of a bitch.
You can do things like stop motorists and cut citations
for speeding or going through alight.
You all need to write.
Sarge, we cut citations every watch.
I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to these two idiots.
- My partner has a question. - Yes.
I don't really know how to write.
But I do sign and draw pictures.
Seriously, you don't start writing,
Captain's gonna shit on my head
- and in turn, I'm gonna shit on your head. - Hmm.
And I promise you, you guys are gonna be separated.
Do it, Sarge.
Orozco and Davis, X 25.
Peterson and Washington, X 41.
Zavala and Taylor, you got X 13.
Williams and Cho, X 8.
Alameda and Green, X 21. Van Hauser and Sook, X 4.
Yeah, Sarge? That's not our area.
That's not your area? No, we work 9.
Oh, I'm sorry, fellas. Oh, no, you're right. You're on X 13.
Sorry, fellas, this isn't Monopoly.
You don't get to choose your real estate.
Now go. Get out.
Zavala, try not to kill anybody before the end of the watch.
Really, Sarge?
Sarge, if we kill someone in X 13, can we go back to X 9?
Today is a brand new day.
Get the shop, gas the shop, wash the shop.
Make sure day watch didn't leave behind any surprises for us.
Look for guns, drugs, puke.
Pay attention, Boot.
- Goodbye. Hurry up. - Yes, sir.
How you doing, Van Hauser?
I warned you about that shit.
Where you running with that piece, Boot?
What? Why you so scared?
Go, go! Jesus Christ! Go on, shit.
Jesus! It's like it's day one.
Boot, slow down with that piece. Slow down!
Orozco, have you been working out?
Yeah, with your morn. Why are you shooting everything?
It's for his class.
I thought you were studying law.
Pre-law. I need an art elective.
I'm taking filmmaking.
Well, get my good side, eh?
You don't have a good side.
Listen, you know they can subpoena that shit
if something goes sideways, right?
Think twice.
Two words. Erase button.
Two words. Just 'cause you guys think
you're these big ghetto gunfighters now,
don't mean you can be dropping your calls.
That was at least two dozen words.
Yeah, well, I barely got a GED,
so what do you expect, white boy?
Unbelievable.
Saddle up, ladies, we're sick of holding up your end.
Admit it, you'd hit that shit.
Orozco? Yeah.
With a cinderblock.
Check the roof, Boot.
Where's your shop?
I got Red Bull, Monster and...
They all say 13, check the roof.
Thank you, ma'am. Faster, Boot, let's go.
Get in the car! Yes, sir!
And then I got you some kombucha
'cause I know you like that stuff.
Fuck that shit! What is that?
Dude, it's good to be back, man.
Old lady was driving me crazy at the casa, like making me do shit.
Oh, no! She dared ask for your help around the house.
That's incredible. Outrageous.
Just 'cause I look like the dudes from Home Depot,
doesn't mean I do the shit the Home Depot dudes do.
I would never profile you
as a man who helps his wife with chores.
Shut up.
Dude, I'm your homie, okay?
I would never, ever do that.
Oh, bro! Hmm?
Her brother was always coming over
during the day to swim. Every day.
I hate everything about him.
He smells like weed sometimes.
Like he's got, like, a prescription.
And Gabby was like, "No, it's all good."
I was like, "Whatever, get him the hell out of here."
I swear to God, I'm filling in that pool with cement.
Not personally, 'cause you'll hire
a Home Depot dude for that task.
Fuck you.
13 X 13, 4-15 man at 9742 Maple.
Code 2. Incident 4-5-6-2.
13 X 13. Roger, show us en route.
X 13, roger.
First customer of the day.
I hope they enjoy our police service.
Suck my dick! That motherfucker's a lying-ass nigga.
Fuck him and fuck you, too!
Shut your fucking... if you touch me, I will fucking shoot you.
Stay where you are.
I don't give a fuck about both you motherfuckers.
I'm ready to die today. Fuck y'all.
This can go one of several ways right now.
It is all about your attitude.
Fuck you! I got my mail!
I helped him!
I helped him give me my mail! I'm getting tired of this shit!
All right. I'm not playing with y'all.
Sir, if you've been drinking,
you need to stay the fuck inside
and not intimidate the mailman. That's it.
Fuck you! You need to shut the fuck up!
'Cause without that badge and gun, you ain't shit.
Yeah? You're less than motherfucking nothing.
You motherfucking, border-hopping... Oh, yeah?
...donkey-riding, Mexican motherfucker.
Is that so? You want to find out what I'm about?
Show me! Yeah, I wanna see! Fuck.
Let's settle this right here like grown men, motherfucker!
Not again, man.
What'd you say? You wanna take a fade? You want to fight me?
Yeah, I want to fight you. Let's go, bro.
I whoop your punk ass, you gonna get the fuck up out of my crib?
Hell, no. But you called me out, bro!
Now I'm calling you out! What's up?
You whoop my ass,
I'll put them motherfucking handcuffs on my motherfucking self.
- And that's on the set. - Door.
It's gonna be a pleasure beating
your bitch ass. My fucking fantasy.
I don't know who the fuck you think you're fucking with,
but I love this shit. Beatin' a motherfucking punk-ass
- police-ass like yours. - Keep talking, bro.
Let's get this shit popping, motherfucker.
Shit.
This shit's crazy!
Fucking kick his ass! Come on! Come on, Z! Z!
Yo, Z! Z! Z!
Now get the fuck up. You like that?
This ain't no wrassling match.
You all right? You all right? You all right?
Come on!
Oh, shit!
Come on, man!
That's what happens when you fuck with the police.
Yeah, come on. Take him! Take him! Take him! Take him!
Fuck you, border-hopping motherfucker!
Ooh!
Fucking did that shit.
You all right?
Give me the hooks.
What's up, putos?
It's big bad Wicked from Curbside Gang Locos.
You ready for this shit?
Fuck, yeah. I was born to fucking do this shit.
Show these motherfuckers whose barrio this is.
You almost ran the light, stupid.
You're gonna get us pulled over, La.
Fuck that shit. I gotta fucking be at work.
You better not bust out wasting my motherfucking time, homie,
I'm gonna tell you that shit right now.
Hey, La La, when you gonna fuck the homeboy?
I'm not fucking the homeboy, dawg.
Yeah, right.
Shit, what I look like?
The little fucking paisa hoochies you guys fucking kick it with?
What you packing, baby?
I'm packing a motherfucking 30-round clip for these slob-ass niggas.
This is it right here, man.
Slow down, this is the street, La.
This is it. This is it. All right.
Wicked, you're gonna jump and get the party started, got it?
I got you, baby.
Listen to the homie.
All right, put your fucking face on, let's go!
Get your shit ready.
Put that fucking shit away!
Make sure your fucking shit is good to go.
What the fuck do I gotta fucking tell you?
I don't want to fucking have to baby you, man!
Get ready, homies. Get ready.
Get your face on! All right. Fuck.
- You guys ready? - Ready.
All right.
But on some real shit, dawg, I'm gonna have to holler at you, B.
Niggas keep on talking about how you got your ass whooped
by a motherfucking little punk-ass wonton.
Nah, Blood, these niggas is hating.
Let me tell you something. Me and the cop got down, right?
Motherfucker took off his badge, dropped his gun.
I mean, he kept it gangster.
We straight-up squabbled. Head up.
But they still took you to the county though, huh?
Yeah, but for disorderly conduct.
Not for squabbling with the police, you feel me?
You fought a cop and they didn't put
no "assault on a peace officer" on you?
Listen to me, my nigga. I'm trying to tell y'all.
They really showed me love to keep it G.
I'm a two-time felon, right? Y'all know that, right?
Could have struck me out and gave me life
for fighting that cop, you feel me?
I got right out, it wasn't shit.
All right, but we heard you got your ass beat, Blood.
You better shut the fuck up, CK.
I'll run this fucking fork up in your ass, I swear to God.
Let me tell you something,
win, lose or draw,
as long as you squabble and get down,
that's gangster, you understand what I'm saying?
Yup.
I mean, that Mexican cop might be acting bull with you, Tre.
But he's still out there killing niggas. Straight out.
No, no, no. Listen to me, all y'all.
This whole fucking thing is like changing of the guard.
Back in the day, all these neighborhoods used to be black,
and what are they now?
Mexicans. Exactly.
There used to be chicken stands on the corner,
now there's fucking taco stands on every corner.
We're in some real shit and if we don't come together,
we're gonna be some extinct niggas pretty soon.
Watch it, watch it, watch it!
Go, go, go!
Get CK, Blood! Get CK!
Fuck!
Fuck, yeah! We got those putos! We got 'em!
Eat shit, motherfuckers!
Fuck! We fucking lit 'em up, dawg!
Show those putos whose neighborhood this fucker is! Shit.
Fucking proud of you, man.
And that's what I'm fucking telling you. Good.
That was fucking good, man. That's what I'm fucking telling you.
I'm proud of you. Fucking proud.
Fucking did it. That's what I'm fucking talking about, man.
I'm fucking proud of you, man.
Fucking proud of you, man, now you're a fucking man.
Right? Right? Right, homie.
Right.
All right then.
No fucking fear, man. No fucking fear.
That's how we fucking do it, man.
Call the motherfucking ambulance! They got CK!
Somebody call a fucking ambulance!
Hold on, dawg, hold on.
Bitch-ass sewer rats was from Curbside. I seen them.
Fucking eses are serving us. Curbside's serving us.
Curbside's banging all over us on Bloods.
Peanut, you got that chopper?
Let's go hit these punk-ass fools.
Cut that fucking camera off!
So this is what we believe to be the Code 37 vehicle
used in the drive-by last night.
Curbside Gang's at it again, bro.
It fits the description. It comes back as stolen.
Curbside likes these vehicles because they blend in,
you can put a lot of people in them.
This door slides back, and the gang members open fire.
The victim was a male black from a Blood set that
has basically been at war with this Hispanic gang
over control of narcotic sales.
Partner. Yeah.
What up? Check this out.
Oh, shit. Those are shell casings.
Detectives told us that three different weapons were used
and we're seeing at least two kinds of shells, so...
Shit.
What's up?
Those are the Homicide detectives working the case.
- The hell's this? - What?
Candid Camera?
No, sir, it's just a project I'm working on.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I don't want to see that.
There are .45 and .09 millimeter shell casings inside.
How do you know that?
Did you touch them? No, sir.
Did you fuck up my vehicle?
No, sir.
Sir, we found it, we called you.
The big dogs are here now,
so set up some yellow tape and stay on the other side of it.
Dude, it's been two hours, we're still waiting for the detectives
to release the scene so we can go back on patrol.
Comfortable footwear. Policing is all about comfortable footwear.
Officer Van Hauser. Good evening.
Sarge said I should relieve you guys
so you can go back to being the street gods that you are.
I'm down with that.
Hey, hey! On the street.
Watch the street. Make sure no assholes come up here and kill us.
Yes, sir.
Fucking Christ.
Officer Van Hauser, have you made a difference today?
You know, I see you guys out here,
you're being good little company men, aren't you?
You're doing the Lord's work?
And you're making a difference, as you call it.
It's all fun and games to you,
you get to run and jump and fight and shoot.
One day, mark my words.
One day the LAPD is gonna bend you over your black and white,
and they are going to fuck you up the ass.
They are going to fuck you so long and so hard,
you're gonna want to eat your gun just to make it stop.
And if you don't eat your gun
and the fucking somehow magically stops,
they're gonna give you freeway therapy.
You're gonna end up doing West End Valley day watch,
spending two hours every day on the fucking freeway
just thinking about the fucking that they gave you.
Bad guys attack from up front. The department comes in from the rear.
Watch your six.
I'm ready. This may say Purell, but it's really K-Y.
Officer Zavala.
That's funny. You kids have fun out there.
The LAPD's got a big fucking cock.
You got a big heart.
Thank you for sharing that.
Can't wait to get it up the ass.
Dude, are you gonna hook up with a Mexican girl?
Quit trying to hook me up with one, dude.
Dude, it'd be great if you did, but...
I get it, man. Shit.
Sweet brown sugar.
You should marry one of my cousins.
If they're anything like you,
I wouldn't be able to stand a fucking hour with them.
Waking up in the morning, they'd be like,
"Hey, can I tell you a story?"
I know.
"Here's a story about this and a story about that
and a story about this and a story about that..."
But, dude, all you gotta do is this. All you gotta do is this.
"Mmm-hmm."
"Yeah. Yeah."
"You want to come to my cousin's quinceañera?"
"My daughter's quinceañera? My brother's quinceañera?"
Yeah. "My sister's quinceañera?"
There's always something happening, though, bro.
It's better than, like,
"Do you know the new kind of flavored coffee I have?"
"Do you like this kind of coffee?" Oh, really?
Shut the fuck up. "The baristas are excellent."
You like fucking coffee, dude, don't give me that shit.
I like fucking good Starbucks coffee.
Whatever. I'll let you lay into me. Lay into me, dude. Fine.
13 X-ray 13. Missing juvenile, 2717 Jefferson.
Code 2 incident 5-7-5-5 and RD 13-27.
13 X-ray 13, we're gonna be Code 6 on the missing juvenile.
I can't see dick.
Hi.
Yeah. We got a call about some missing children.
Yes. Yes, my babies are gone.
All right. My babies are gone.
You want to let us in? We can talk.
We can have a conversation about this, all right?
Oh, okay, okay.
My babies are gone. They've been missing all night.
- And I've been here. - Why don't you step over here a second?
Officer, we're wasting time.
Sir, let me see your hands.
How many children are missing?
Oh! Two. A boy and a girl.
Ma'am, what are the ages of the children that are missing?
One is one and the other'll be three soon.
- Sir! - Somebody took them.
Let me see your hands, please. Let me see your hands.
- ...quick, quick. In and out. - Put your hands behind your head.
All right. All right.
Hands behind your head!
I've been here all night.
Officer, we're good here.
Listen, don't say anything to them, man.
I know, but they're not here.
They're gone. The babies are gone.
What did you say?
I'm gonna check the house, okay?
Please listen to me. I'm trying to tell you. I've looked...
The kids are with their grandma.
- Is this your husband? - That's not my husband.
- Sit the fuck down! - I've been looking.
I'm gonna check the house.
Sometimes children can hide under a bed or in a closet, okay?
You can talk to my partner.
You're wasting time!
The kids are not here! If you can please go outside and get my kids.
Talk to my partner.
Stop, don't push me! My babies are missing!
Let me see some type of warrant. You got a warrant?
Officer, let me see some type of warrant.
We don't need a warrant, she let us in.
Why the fuck did you say anything?
Sit down, man. Officer, can I get a cigarette?
Not right now.
I'm trying to tell you, the kids
are with their grandma, man, okay?
I heard you. They're with the grandma.
Would you please listen to me, Officer?
Let me see some type of warrant.
You shut the fuck up! Why did you let them in here?
Press charges on this motherfucker!
You fucking bitch, I'm gonna kill you!
I'm gonna kill you, motherfucker!
Get the fuck off me!
What the fuck's happening?
Wait a minute! All right, all right!
Did you hear what I said to you?
You just let me know how clear I have to make myself to you.
Why don't you open your fucking mouth
and tell me how clear I have to make myself to you?
Partner! Partner! Get off him.
Brian, what's up?
You okay, partner?
What's happening, Brian?
Fuck you, you dumb-ass smoking bitch!
I'm gonna kick you in the fucking face!
I found the kids.
Go ahead, you fucking crackhead.
Shit.
Shh, shh!
It's okay, it's okay. You're okay now.
You're okay. Shh, shh.
I'm just gonna... Shit.
It's okay. It's okay, sweetie. All right.
Hey, buddy, stay still.
All right, you're okay now. You're okay.
Come here, come here. You okay?
You gonna take care of your sister?
Fucking kids.
It's so funny.
It's so funny to text.
Who are you texting? That same bitch?
Dude, yeah. She's smart, man.
She's like the first girl I can
actually have a conversation with.
You know she has a Master of Sciences in Fluid Hydraulics.
Fluid Hydraulics? Yes.
I wouldn't brag about that, dude.
That she has a master's degree in Fluid Hydraulics.
I date all these girls, man. They're smoking hot.
Yeah, your little fucking badge bunnies.
I get laid without a badge, thank you very much.
Because you were in the Marines.
Don't ask, don't tell.
There's a pattern. An MO here.
First date is dinner and a respectful kiss.
Second date is dinner, full carnal knowledge.
And then third date is dinner and uncomfortable silences
when I try and discuss anything of merit.
Then it's two or three booty calls and it's on to the next.
Okay, I went to prom and I got married a week later.
And I ain't tapped anybody but Old Faithful for, like, eight years.
So I don't know what you're tripping about, dude.
Okay. Wait, look at me real quick. Uh-huh.
Okay, ready? Okay.
I want somebody to talk to. Not just sleep with.
Do you fucking understand what I'm saying?
Oh!
Yeah. Jesus, dude.
White people get hung up on this fucking "soul mate" bullshit.
Just hook up with a chick that can cook and wants kids.
Some bitch that's down for you,
that won't fuck your friends, and you're straight.
Dude, you're the smartest motherfucker I know,
you're not gonna find some chick that's as smart as you.
Ooh! Whoa!
Really, dude? Yeah, what?
Really? I'm sorry that the perfect girl wasn't dropped in front of me
when I was 18 years old.
Do you talk to Gabby?
Do you even have discussions with the girl?
Do you want me to translate that into fucking His... Spanish?
Into Hispanic?
Whatever the fuck it is.
Yeah, bro, what do you think, we're mutes?
And we just... Like, sign to each other?
Yeah, we talk, stupid.
Gabby's a trip. You know she's a trip, bro.
You should hear the shit that comes out of her mouth.
You know what? She would be great on Jeopardy!
She's way smarter than I am.
All right, so you see what I'm talking about. That's all I want, man.
I know you want a chick like my girl,
but I'll kill you if you touch her.
Fuck! I'm going to kill you, dude! Shut up, man!
What's this chick's name, dude?
You don't deserve to fucking know her name.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Dude, fuck that!
Janet. Did you run her?
Yes, she's clean.
She's kind of the complete package, man. It's like...
We're going out again.
Saturday's my little sister's quinceañera.
You should roll through with Janet from another planet.
Dude, this shit's gonna be hard-core Mexican, though, bro.
You know how my familia rolls.
Hey, mija.
What's up? Come here, baby girl.
Drink the Jim Jones, baby, come on.
Hey, baby? Tell me something. You ever fucked on heroin?
Yeah, right.
I could fuck forever on that shit.
I'll eat your pussy for hours, girl. Ew!
Get the fuck over here.
Fuck that fool, he's crazy, he's tripping.
You're my fucking lady. I'll buy you shit.
You see this shit right here?
It's fucking money. Real shit.
What you like?
Come here. Okay.
Any Newton unit. 5-0-7 party. 3645 Trinity Street.
Incident 38-90 and RD 13-76.
X 9, send me the call.
X 9, roger. 39-25 shows Code 6 of X 9.
X 25, roger.
X 13, we're gonna be Code 6 on the party call.
X 13, roger.
Keep your eyes wide, this place is assholed up. Clear the car.
Put that shit away.
Put that down, bro.
What's the occasion?
Can you turn down the music?
Have some respect, La La. Don't light up in front of us.
Why don't you take a hit, mija? It'll chill you out.
It'll be like back in the days. Remember?
I don't remember shit. I don't know what you're talking about.
I said put it out.
You know you want this, pig.
I wouldn't fucking touch that if you were the last bitch on Earth.
Fuck you. No, fuck you.
Why don't you take a seat?
You look in the mirror... Lock it up, Orozco.
...you're just a common gangster bitch like all the rest.
Why don't you sit your ass down?
Why don't you do what they tell you, puppet?
Want me to make you? Lock it up, partner.
You know what?
I'll fucking sit down now.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
So, Mr. Big Evil,
why do they call you Big Evil?
Because,
my evil is big.
Can you turn down the music? We got a noise complaint or some shit.
Then you go faster.
I am nailing this. Oh, my...
Come on, baby.
Hey, bro. Hey.
- Hi, baby. - Cindy, what's up?
I wanted to introduce you to Janet.
Hi. It's so nice to meet you. Happy birthday.
Thank you.
You look beautiful.
Pick up your dress so you don't step on it.
You look beautiful. I gotta go. Bye!
- All grown up. - He spoils her.
But I want to give you the lowdown.
I'm listening. I'm listening.
So, everybody here is pretty much family. Like somehow.
They're all Mexican family.
You got cousins and you got aunts and uncles,
just like everything else, and then you got cousins' cousins.
And then you have Brian.
You stick around, you're gonna see somebody throw up.
Couple fights. It's fun. It's fun.
Enough, enough. I'm sorry.
Well, I'm Irish, so it's the same thing.
Big families, and nobody ever gets divorced.
And they all wear purple. Well, less purple,
but just as much beer.
She's funny.
They get way too drunk and get in fistfights.
Yeah, same here.
But you mess with one person, you have the whole family after you.
That's the way to do it.
- There you go. - You just described Mexican people.
Can I feel it? Is that okay?
Yeah, he's actually kicking a lot right now. Here.
And I think his feet are right there.
Do you feel it? Wow.
Oh, my God.
I like her, Brian.
Buddy. JANET: How long have you known Brian?
Three years. He and Mike went to the Academy together, so...
Right.
Brian, it's you.
Hi.
I'm gonna try not to wake you up.
I can't believe that I stayed over.
This, this is interesting. I have never shot one before.
Maybe that could be our next date.
I did go through your wallet. I'm sorry.
I am naturally curious.
I hope that's okay.
Gotta love a guy who has a picture of his mom in his wallet.
This? Yeah.
Kristin, Mia, Raquel, etcetera, etcetera...
You won't be needing this any more.
You were drooling.
What are we looking for again?
All the food groups, dope, money and guns.
The ghetto will provide, bro.
Fucking Sarge. Sarge!
We're staking out Curbside. They're gonna spot your unit.
What, you think they don't know you're here?
Van Hauser wants to file a complaint on you, Taylor.
Oh, the USS Van Hauser?
The LAPD's stealthiest submarine,
only surfaces at the end of watch?
He said you were videotaping him.
What did I tell you about that shit?
Why is he such a bitter dude?
If he hates pushing the black and white so much,
why doesn't he just leave his badge on the watch commander's desk
and go home and eat a bowl of dicks?
Have some empathy for this man.
Taylor, I gotta put in my log
that I verbally counseled you about this fucking camera.
What? I was documenting a crime scene.
Have a good day, ladies.
Yeah. Take it easy.
God, is that Big Evil's mom right there?
His mom? Yeah, that's Mrs. Evil.
Who's the cowboy?
I don't know. He's got money, look at his truck.
I'm gonna run him.
You want to jam this fool?
Yes, I do.
Plate's clean. Shit.
What's our PC, though?
That stupid CD hanging from his rearview mirror,
obstructing his vision.
Let's do this. All right.
Come on, fucker.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Light them up.
13 X-ray 13, we're Code 6
on three 9 street, east of Wall.
License plate 4-Boy-1-7-3-2.
Gray Dodge pickup.
13 X 13, roger, Code 6...
Let's get this fucker.
Gun!
Get the fuck out of the car.
Get the fuck out the car!
You good, partner?
I'm good.
X 25 shows Code 6 with X 13.
13 x 2-5, roger.
You okay?
13 X-ray 13 show...
Transport this son of a bitch.
Yeah, no problem.
Check out this motherfucker's burner, bro.
Holy shit.
Dude, he's got more bling than the old lady's wedding ring.
A cell.
You don't have any holes in you? I'm good, bro.
Let's toss the truck.
Hey, who was he shooting at?
What? Who was he shooting at?
Me.
That's fucked up, man.
Air 11, show us responding.
Fucking...
Soup.
Whoo-hoo! - What's up?
Yo, that's big money right there, bro. Shit.
Oh, shit.
What the fuck is it?
Homeboy's a player, dude.
We got a surprise for you.
Liberace's AK.
What?
Holy shit.
Here we have two of the major food groups, money and guns.
This is the lifeblood of our organization. Paperwork.
The way red corpuscles carry oxygen through the body,
paperwork carries information through the department.
What are corpuscles?
Evening, guys-
Evening. How you doing, Captain? Sir.
So this is it? These are the guns you took off the cowboy?
Yup. Yes, sir.
Mind if I pick them up?
Fancy.
That's some nice hardware.
Yeah, I heard he took a shot at you. You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm good. He's good.
Liberace's AK.
This looks like Liberace's AK.
Keep up the good work, guys. I really appreciate it. Carry on.
Thank you. Good evening, sir.
Good night, Van Hauser.
Evening, sir.
Why do you get nervous?
Women want him, men want to be him, man. He's just...
Yeah, I know. But you want him.
Dude, I'm not gay, but I'd go down on him if he asked.
Sometimes I don't know when you're kidding.
And I have to know when you're kidding.
I'm not kidding. I gotta know when you're kidding.
I'm not kidding.
Oh! Dude. I gotta go.
I'm taking Janet to the Philharmonic.
Enjoy your white people shit.
Oh, thanks, I'll bring you back a burrito.
No problem.
You're the best.
One more time.
Dude! Stop. Stop, man, fuck.
What are you gonna say to the taxpayers
when you crash the fucking car?
Drink more coffee.
Dude, I'm on my ninth fucking Red Bull.
Oh! We got a fire.
Where? Over there.
13 X-ray 13, we're Code 6 on a structure fire.
What's that address? 1-0-0-2.
1002 Sixth Street. Go ahead and send RA and fire.
13 X 13, roger on the RA.
My babies! My babies are in there!
Where? Where?
They're upstairs in the bedroom.
All right, ma'am.
Z, no! Yo, yo, yo, Z! Z, wait for fire, bro! Fuck!
- Over there, kids' room. - Shit.
Dude, the kids' room, come on! Come here.
Hey, come here, come here.
- Go with him! - Come on! Come here!
Come here. Wrap your arms around me.
There you go. Wrap your legs around me. You got it.
There you go. I'm going down, Z!
Come on, come on, come on. Come on. Wrap your legs, then go. Yup.
Z, you all right? I'm good. I'm good.
Come on. Go, go, go, man!
I'm going, man. Fuck!
Come on, put your head right here.
Come on.
- Let's go! Let's go! - Come down!
Come on, man!
Where's my baby girl? Where is she?
Wait, wait, wait, lady, you got more kids?
My girl. She's two.
Oh, shit.
No, Z, Z, no! Come on!
Go, go, go, get up!
Fuck, it's hot.
God damn it!
Come here, babe. Come here. Come here.
Cover her face. Put that blanket around her face.
I got her.
I can't breathe, bro.
Come on, go, go, go.
I can't see. Where you at?
I'm right here. Follow the light.
I can't see you.
I'm right here.
Come on.
I got it.
I got her. Shit.
I'm going down.
- Come on. - All right.
Stay still. Stay still.
Come on, come on, come on.
Fuck, I got it, man.
I fucking can't see out of my...
Where's Z, dude?
I'm right here, dude!
Z, I'm gonna check you out, sit down right here.
Check you guys out. Can you open your eyes?
You all right, bro? Give me a bottle of water.
Z! Z!
Get the fuck away, man!
I'm right here. I'm right here. Get away, get away, bro.
- I'm right here, dude. - Fuck, man.
Get away, dude.
I'm right here. Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Don't fucking freak out, dude.
Shut up, shut up!
We're good, we're good.
Shut up. Shut up. All right.
For their selfless actions
and their exemplary service to the citizens of this city,
the Medal of Valor is presented to Officer Brian Taylor
and Officer Miguel Zavala.
What's up, Sandra?
Hi, Brian.
You feel like a hero?
What?
You feel like a hero?
No.
Yeah, me neither.
What's a hero feel like?
I don't know, man.
Did I tell you that me and Gabby
got into a huge fight over the fire?
Nope, you didn't tell me that.
She was...
She's like, "You could have died for someone else's kid
when ours hasn't even been born yet."
She's like, "You're not a fireman."
Janet said the same thing.
Yeah?
I don't think I could go in another burning building.
I only went in because you did. Just put that shit out there.
All right, dickhead, what is it?
You remember that cowboy with the blinged-out AK?
Yeah, he's probably my cousin.
All right, I crisscrossed some numbers on his cell.
Couple addresses come up in our basic area.
You're not a detective.
That guy is something. He's into something.
Oh, really? You think?
Dude, DA didn't buy the ADW, only filed on the weapons beef.
Gang Unit says they'll get to him,
but they're too busy or some shit.
And Narco's not interested because we didn't find dope.
Yeah, but you're not a detective.
You're not a fireman. Fuck you.
Follow me into the house, dude.
I said you're not a detective.
I want to be a detective.
You wanna be? Follow me into the house, dude.
Follow me into the house.
Follow me into the house, dude.
13 X-ray 13 with a Code 6 at 9-3-1-8, 5-3 street.
13 X 13, roger.
The fuck? What the fuck?
This is weird.
13 X-ray 13, you need to send us additional unit.
13 X 13 is requesting two additional units
for a building search at 1-0-0, 2-6 street.
It's okay, it's okay.
It's okay. Goodbye.
Fuck this guy.
Get that shit out of here.
I know what that means.
Shut the fuck up, man.
Spread your legs.
Spread your fucking legs.
Put your fucking head back.
- Gun, partner. - Oh, yeah?
Get your fucking head back.
- Another gun, partner. - Two, huh?
Wads of cash.
All right, tell him to get on his knees.
Get the fuck over here.
13 X-ray 13. We've got one in custody.
13 X 13, roger.
All right, we're good. All right.
What do we got?
Check it out, partner.
I got this motherfucker.
Oh, my God.
Take my buddy.
What the fuck, Zavala? You catch 'em, I clean 'em?
Take him.
I don't know, we got like...
I'm gonna go outside. Yo, Z, you good?
I'm good, bro. Z?
I'm good!
What the fuck? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Federal agents. Who's in charge here? Are you in charge?
What the fuck? I need to know who's in charge here.
Is this man under arrest?
Yes, sir.
What are the charges against this man?
Turn that fucking camera off. It's off. It's off.
The fucking camera's off, man.
You guys fucked up.
Just lost a POI because of you guys.
Are we clear in there? Clear.
What the fuck, bro?
What did we fuck up? I don't fucking know, dude.
Who the fuck is this guy?
I don't fucking know.
We have one POI.
Dude, I just want to fucking talk to this guy.
Let's just get out of here.
I just want to fucking talk to him just for a second.
Come on, let's go. Go ahead.
Sir, I don't want to cause any trouble here,
but we just fucking... We rolled up here...
I don't know what's going on.
It's the second cowboy like this we've run into in a week.
Watch out for these guys. They operate by a different set of rules.
I know I'm just a ghetto street cop,
but you gotta give me something here.
We've got indicators he's a runner for the Sinaloa cartel.
Yeah, well, we ran him, he came up clean, dude.
You guys don't have the proper clearance for any of this information,
but I'm gonna throw you a bone.
Cartels are operating here. We're on it. Be careful.
What does that mean, though?
It means you and your homeboy need to power down.
You just tugged on the tail of the snake
and it's gonna turn around and bite you back.
I'm throwing you a bone here.
Be grateful for what I'm giving you. I'm giving you a warning.
Lay low.
All right, yeah.
Can I get your name for my log?
Negative, move along.
Yeah, all right.
Sir, you know that there's five-year-old kids in there?
All right, dude. Z. For six months?
Goodbye. Get off the crime scene. Go home.
Bye. Yeah.
Have a nice night.
Fucking feds. TAYLOR: Z, what the fuck, man?
Fuck them.
I didn't think that shit came over here, bro.
Kids, women. Did you see that fucking toilet? Filled up with shit.
Dude, we had no fucking business being there.
We didn't even have a call there.
Dude, I didn't know what we were fucking rolling up on.
You think I knew what we were rolling up on?
Human trafficking.
He's so cute. You did so good, baby.
I love this smell.
Just hold his head a little bit.
I am. He's fine.
You gotta hold him like this, like a football.
I know how to hold a baby.
Babe, please. Like that.
- Hey. - Hi.
Oh! Hey, partner, what's up?
Come here, dude. Oh!
Look who's here.
How's Mama doing?
Mama's tired and cranky. Just like baby.
Mama wants to choke Daddy.
Oh, come on, babe.
Did you name him Brian?
Sorry, bro.
He's a junior. I named him after his daddy.
So what's his name?
Fuck you, dude.
Can I hold him?
Yeah.
So sweet.
You're so done, bro. Mmm-hmm.
Hey, baby. What are you wearing?
I can say it. What are you wearing?
I don't care. You still look good.
Yeah, Brian's right here.
Okay. All right, sorry. Okay, I love you. Bye.
You didn't even say hi, man.
She was pissed, dude.
How'd you know you were gonna marry Gabby?
She told me. I was just some stoner
working at my uncle's muffler shop,
and one day she grabbed me by the shoulders and says,
"We're getting married and you're joining the department,
because you can make a lot of money without a college degree."
And I was like, "Fuck, yeah."
I mean, you love her. You guys, like, you never fight.
You're happy together.
She's my bitch for sure, dude.
I'm just telling you the way it went down.
I popped her cherry in high school.
She's never been with anybody else.
I've never wanted to be with anybody else.
You know, it's easy.
Things are getting super serious with Janet and me.
What, you just found that out?
Did you read that in the paper or something?
Homegirl owns your ass, dude.
Dude, she wants to move in.
She's always over, you know. Why spend the money on two apartments?
It's not about the money.
No, her parents are so traditional, dude.
Oh, yeah? They will go ballistic.
But at least we can tell them we're engaged, you know.
Oh, whoa! Hold up, bro. Don't play with that shit.
You don't ask a broad to marry you
because her folks are old-school.
No, dude, you don't understand, man.
No, dude, you don't do that shit.
Think about it, man.
Dude, afier you think about it, think about it again. Jesus.
Marriage is forever. Just realize that.
It's a promise before God.
My grandma was really deep, dude.
She's seen it all. You know what I'm saying?
When me and Gabby got engaged, bro, she asked me one thing.
Do you want to hear it?
Fine, let's hear it.
She said, "Can you live without her?"
"And if the answer is yes, man up and forget her."
"Don't string her along."
Think about it, bro.
I did.
13 X-ray 43. Officer needs help.
Where?
Newton units, stand by. X 43 officer needs help.
13 X 43, what's your location?
I don't know. What?
That's Van Hauser's car. Come on, Boot!
Just book it south. Go, go, go.
Find a street sign, put it out.
I don't see any!
Is there a number on a house? A building number?
The house is 3-1-7-7. Sir, back up!
Holy shit. Bro, hook a left on Maple.
13 X-ray 13, show us responding Code 3 from 3-0 and Maple.
13 X 13, roger. Responding Code 3 Maple and 3-0.
Right there! Right there! Bro, right there! Go.
13 X-ray 13, show us Code 6 at Compton and 3-1 street.
Who is that? Taylor and Zavala.
13 X-ray 13, send me an airship to set up a perimeter.
Oh, shit.
Taylor, would you call for a rescue?
Do not move. What did he look like? Where'd he go?
Northbound through the houses.
Hispanic male, blue checkered shirt.
Zero-head, he's a parolee, he's fucking huge.
13 X-ray 13, suspect headed northbound,
heavyset male Hispanic, shaved head.
Weapon used was a knife. KMA.
Let's do this shit.
Careful, men. On your left. He's fucking huge.
- It's clear over here. - Crossing.
The windows? You got left?
I got right.
Push, push, push.
You're on my elbow. You call it out. You call it out if you see it.
Dude, I see him. On the left. On the left. Ready, go, go, split.
Take it, you bitch. Fuck you!
On the left. I've got him, you ready?
Fucking bitch. Fucking whore. Try to fuck with me? Fuck you!
Get the fuck off her or I will blow your fucking head off!
I'm done. I ain't resisting, Officer.
Don't fucking look at me!
I ain't resisting, sir. Shut the fuck up!
Get up! Put your hands over your head! Get up.
Put your hands over your head.
Back up towards me till I tell you to stop.
Move. Move. Move.
Move. Stop! Get on your fucking knees.
And cross your goddamn feet together, you hear me?
Cross your legs.
If I hear a fucking word out of you,
I will blow you out of your fucking socks.
Hook him, Z.
13 X-ray 13, show a Code 4. Suspect's in custody.
You good, Z? I'm good. Are you good?
God damn it.
All right, you're gonna be all right.
You're gonna be all right. You're gonna be all right.
Fuck, man, her face is all fucking broken in.
13 X-ray 13 requesting an additional RA.
13 X 13, roger on the RA. You're gonna be okay.
You're gonna be all right. We're here for you, all right?
Dude, we got the cavalry coming.
That motherfucker's gonna pay for what he did, you hear me?
Boot, you hear me? Boot?
Don't call her Boot, bro.
Well, I don't know what her fucking name is!
Is there a tag anywhere? Do you see a tag?
No.
You hearing me? She's nodding, dude, she's nodding, she hears me.
You're gonna be okay, all right? Do you hear me?
It's all good. It's all good.
You're gonna be okay, brother.
Fucking cut my vest off. God damn it, Taylor.
I tell you one fucking thing! Fucking cut my vest off!
All right, bro, we got your back.
Jesus Christ! God damn it.
Get back, brother, all right. You're good, bro. We got your back.
They cut my fucking vest. They cut my fucking vest.
What's up? You okay?
Taylor, I'm really tired, dude.
Why didn't you shoot that son of a bitch? You had him dead to rights.
I just didn't feel like killing anyone tonight, Sarge.
You feel like writing this up?
Brass is gonna want clean paper, make sure all the logs match.
Sarge, did you see that?
Van H had a fucking Ginsu sticking out of his eye.
His eye was cut in half.
The lens was hanging out.
He's not coming back.
Rookie, too.
She ain't coming back. What?
She gave me this to give to the watch commander.
On the spot?
Yeah.
Oh, well. She wouldn't have made probation anyway.
Hell, no.
What, because her daddy's not a captain?
You know she wasn't cut out for this shit.
Why is that? The evidence.
She almost got Van Hauser killed.
You guys are cold, man. You got cold, dead eyes. You know that?
Yeah, both of us.
Yeah, both of you. You have a soul?
Yes, we just leave it at home.
Yo, we gonna sit around yapping or we gonna get this done?
Dude, you guys saved that rookie's life.
That was one big fucking fat ese.
Can we clear the scene?
Division's fucking falling apart over here.
We good? You good? Good, good, good?
We're all good.
Yes? Go back to work.
Good night, ladies.
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Officer and Mrs. Taylor.
Go, Brian!
What's up, guys?
How's the cake? Good?
Cheers!
Fuck.
All right.
Janet, you got a lot of heart hooking up with a cop.
Because it takes a strong person,
and I see like a lot of cops' wives in here,
they're all nodding their heads.
You gotta take care of her, bro.
'Cause I'm her big brother now.
And every cop in here,
we're all her family now, too.
I'm going to cry, baby, shut up.
And Janet,
we're all hoping that you can make a man out of Brian,
because we've all given up.
So here we go.
To Brian and Janet.
Cheers!
Can I ask you something?
Why the fuck did you get married in your dress blues?
If you worked at Best Buy,
would you wear that fucking stupid polo shirt?
I like that polo shirt.
I'm representing, man.
You know I love you, man?
Oh, Jesus.
Here they go again.
I love you, too, bro.
- I would lay down my life for you, dude. - "I love you, man."
I would take a fucking bullet for you.
"I love you, man."
Get married to each other because...
All right, shut up. Everybody take a shot.
Cheers!
Ah!
MY boy Garcia?
He's a fucking beast, man. Right?
I've seen this motherfucker knock an asshole out with one punch.
Yoked assholes, man. Yoked assholes
from the joint when they had weight piles.
You know what I'm talking about?
You don't know what I'm talking about, you're fucking 12 years old.
Cops like him...
Like soldiers.
He took a bullet for me.
My bullet, man. He took my bullet.
He took my bullet. That's what he was. That's what he was to me.
It should have been me. 'Cause he was a good guy.
I was shit.
Fuck it, man.
Give me a kiss.
You'll learn this. You'll learn.
Marriage is really basic.
Right? There's just, like, a couple guidelines.
One, you gotta give it up all the time.
All the time. You love that.
I don't hate that idea.
It's not a bad thing. It's not a bad idea.
No, seriously, girls throw it at cops.
Throw what exactly?
Their pussy. Girls throw it.
So you can't give him an excuse, girlfriend.
You cannot give him an excuse.
I've actually seen that before.
It's called assault on a peace officer.
- I'll give you another one. You ready? - Hell, yeah.
Be a freak. Try new things.
Part two. Baby...
Like, you know, the gooch.
The what? No, no, no, no.
The gooch?
Texas twister.
No, that's something that's made up. The Internet made that up.
You want to know what Mike likes?
No!
Babe! No! Babe, I love you so much.
The western, you know? Open to explore, right?
Gabby! It's our wedding!
Cup him. Suck him. This is way too much.
Cup him and suck him. You're cut off.
You just rub it a bit and then...
What the fuck? Gabby!
Venture off a little bit more.
- No, no, no! - Venture off?
They swear they don't like it, but...
Shit. Dude, really?
I'm happy, man.
I'm happy, bro. Janet's dope, dude.
You're my brother and everything, dude, but you're a piece of shit.
Does she know that?
Yeah, she knows who I am.
I mean, you can't get into something with somebody without...
She knows who I am.
Yeah. I know who you are. You're a piece of shit.
If you break her heart, I'm gonna fuck you up.
Good to know.
If anything happened to you, I would take care of your kids.
If you had any. And I would take care of her.
I would take care of Janet.
13-80-41, vicious animal, Trinity and Jefferson.
Large pit bull running up and down on location...
What's in the stack? Anything good?
Let's see here.
Business dispute. Request police mediation.
One neighbor threw a cup of water
on the other neighbor's window.
Yeah, we're not buying that.
3-90 male. Intoxicated person outside a liquor store.
Get the fuck out of here.
There's a drunk man outside the liquor store?
Welfare check. Woman requests PD contact her elderly mother.
Yeah, buy that one. You serious?
Yeah, if we buy a couple of these,
maybe they'll send us a Code 3 call.
All right. Cool.
I'll hit her up for the next hotshots.
"On this episode, we're rolling to a call."
"A woman called the station to check on her elderly mother."
"So we're gonna go."
Yeah, these are the calls most agencies deal with, you know?
Not every call's a foot pursuit or a car chase.
Some guys at other agencies
have never even drawn their weapon or been in a gunfight.
Yeah, but here, that's just half your shift.
In the south end,
we'll get involved in more capers in one deployment period
than most cops see their entire career.
Hell, yeah.
Mrs. Williams!
Police officers!
Go around the back, check it out.
All right. Here we go.
I'm gonna wait for my partner. He's gonna check the back
to see if she's around the back over there.
Oftentimes, a lot of these people, they're very old people.
They can't hear us. You know, they can't hear the...
Hearing aids, you know. So...
Nothing.
All right, so the owner of this house is actually
the daughter of the woman who lives in it.
She gave us permission for the welfare check, so we're gonna...
We're gonna boot the door.
Officer Zavala specializes in booting doors.
I kick doors down.
There you go.
I kick doors down.
Say it in English now, bro.
I kick doors down.
Wait, did you check if it was unlocked?
Ladies and gentlemen, always a good idea to make sure a door is locked
before you boot it.
Are you gonna cut that out? Yeah, sorry.
It was always locked. Clearly my partner always knew that.
Oh, man. You know what's gonna happen, right?
What?
She's gonna roll through, come from church or the store or whatever.
And then she's gonna see property damage
and what's gonna happen? What's gonna happen?
We're gonna be the bad guys.
Oh, shit! We got a dead body, man.
What have we got? Squatters?
Yeah, eses have been kicking it back here for sure.
LAPD.
Let's roll through.
You good? Clear.
That is wrong. Dude, I said it was clear.
All right. I'm just filming it, man.
- I found her, dude. - What's up?
13 X-ray 13.
I'm gonna need a supervisor and two additional units at our location.
An RA for an elderly female, approximately 70 years old.
Not conscious, not breathing.
13 X 13's requesting two additional units and a supervisor.
5-1-7-1 Maple.
Incident 1-4-6-7, RA 13-51.
What is she, grandma praying to the dope gods or some shit?
Dude, that's not fucking grandma.
Don't fucking play on them. No, look.
Hollow. Somebody's opened it before, dude. That's what that means.
Pick that shit up.
You can't pull it out yourself?
Dude, just fucking pull it out, bro.
Party time.
Yo, Z. Z.
No, wait, wait, wait.
What? Do you see that pot?
Yeah.
That shit's still steaming. Oh, shit.
I'm going in. Ready? Go ahead.
Brian, Brian.
Ugh! What is that? Dude, is that a body?
Yeah, there's bodies in there, dude.
Thanks for the fucking update.
Fuck, man.
Is it clear, dude?
Clear.
What does it say, dude?
What's that shit say?
"Keep bringing them. Ha ha ha."
Fuck! Come on. Get your shit together, dude.
Pull your shit together, man.
Fuck out of here. Let's get out of here.
Fuck. Sick motherfuckers, man. Who would do shit like that?
What is that shit, dude?
I don't fucking know, dude. I've never seen that kind of shit.
You have those fucking... Do you have hand sanitizer, bro?
No, I don't.
I'm Serene Branson, on the scene in south Los Angeles
at one of the largest narcotics seizures this year.
In addition to the drugs, officials are telling us
there was a very gruesome discovery.
An unknown number of bodies showing evidence of torture.
A police official familiar with the investigation
denied rumors Mexican drug cartels
are responsible for the murders.
Newton units, information only on a 3-90 man in a vehicle...
Gabby wants to know if you and Janet
want to roll to the Dodgers game with us tonight.
Dude, we're going to Santa Barbara.
All right, fuck you then, dude,
I'll sell that shit online or something.
Oh, here's Tre right here.
What's up, Tre?
What's up, back?
What you doing?
I'm doing what I do, you know what I'm saying?
Same shit, different day.
Ain't shit changed. What's up with y'all?
Just slow motion.
And that little incident you and I had?
You kept it G.
You didn't snitch on me. And I respect that.
So check this out, my people just got out of Folsom Prison.
From up north. Oh, yeah?
Word is you got a hit on y'all, man. Y'all been greenlit.
Come on, man. We're cops, everybody wants to kill us, Tre.
Hey, I'm just telling you what they're saying, man.
No, you know what, we appreciate the info, man,
but this don't mean you get a pass if we catch you slipping.
I ain't looking for no fucking pass.
I do what I do, you know what I'm saying?
I had to say it, though, you know how it is.
All right, what you doing this weekend, Tre?
You like the Dodgers?
You gonna slide a nigga some tickets or something?
Hey, man... You like the Dodgers?
Have a good weekend.
Slide me some tickets.
Shut the fuck up!
Dude, did you fuck with my... Come on, man, did you fuck with my shit?
I don't fuck with your shit.
Damn it, Mike, come on, man.
Don't be a little bitch about it, dude.
I didn't fuck with your shit, dude.
You fucked with my shit. It was in totally different order.
Why do you have an investigation report on here, dude?
I don't have an investigation report on there.
It's your handwriting. Don't be an idiot.
All this is fucked up. Did you drop it or something?
Dude, there's three types of pages.
Man! It's all out of order, man. It's all fucking out of order.
No, it's a pain in the ass. I'm sorry, partner.
Wait until they hit a small street.
At a stop sign, you fucking tap the bumper,
we're gonna get out and blast.
- Fuck, no. - What do you mean, no?
We should get 'em when they go to lunch at that Chinese place.
That Chinese place is crawling with cops.
We gotta get these fuckers when they're alone.
We can fucking follow their asses home and hit 'em there.
Mira, homegirl, white boy's in fucking Simi Valley,
the other fucking fool's in San Gabriel.
We gotta get these fuckers at the same time!
E, this is one time, homie. Not a bunch of fucking niggas.
Motherfucker! This fucker is straight from the SHU, homeboy!
You stop fucking around.
You got in the car.
You want to fucking hang with the fucking carnales,
now you fucking pay the fucking price of fucking admission, homeboy.
I'll fucking kill this fucking bitch, all right? You shut the fuck up.
Come on, E. BIG EVIL: You get that shit out of my face.
I'll fucking kill you, motherfucker. Don't you fucking disrespect.
Don't worry. I got this shit. Fuck, man.
I don't know where the fucking rubber band is either, dude.
Don't blame me for the rubber band.
You just took the rubber band off.
If you hadn't fucking put everything out of order,
then the rubber band wouldn't be out and the...
Look, it's the butterfly effect, okay?
Do you know what the butterfly effect is?
Nope.
It's the butterfly effect. Look it up.
Just 'cause you say it twice
doesn't mean that I get it the second time.
Look it up, dude.
This is fucking stupid. Those motherfuckers got bulletproof vests.
We need to hit them with some AKs and shit.
Don't fucking rank out.
Fuck you! Fuck you!
When the fuck have I ever backed out from shit, huh?
Get that fucking camera out of my face!
I'm saying, we just can't fuck this shit up.
I don't give a fuck, man. You know me.
I'll do the motherfucking time.
I just don't want the big homies fucking whacking me.
Fucking whacking me for fucking up.
We need a fucking plan. And you fucking know it, homie.
Think about it. That's all I'm saying.
Okay, head back.
I'll get some fucking big guns from the Border Brothers.
Never fall asleep in a room full of cops.
What...
Zavala, that shit ain't even fucking funny!
Just 'cause you won the fucking award
doesn't give you license to be a fucking asshole!
You got shit on your face, man.
Hey! Hey! What is this? What are we, in the third fucking grade?
Keep it up, it's gonna earn you a risk management case.
Give me this fucking camera.
He had something...
I'm serious, man. This department built you up,
they will fucking tear you down.
You know it's fucking funny.
Laugh, you fucking idiot.
Who left their shaving cream on the table?
How was Santa Barbara?
Awesome.
Janet's pregnant.
What?
Get out of here, bro. Are you serious?
Already? She's not even Mexican.
Yeah, she's going for the ultrasound tomorrow,
but three of those piss stick things...
Yeah, yeah, EPTs, yeah.
Positive, positive, positive.
Whoa! Dude.
Congrats, bro. Congrats.
That's when we fucking graduate.
We fucking get the upgrade right now.
Not fucking gonna be little fucking paisas no fucking more.
- Right? That's what we're gonna do. - I'm with you.
Okay?
They want to come into our fucking hood and fucking talk shit to us?
You fucking do this shit right? It's our fucking hood.
They don't fucking disrespect us.
You guys want to fucking collect?
You guys got to fucking put up.
This time we're gonna do it right. Yeah, we're doing this.
Fucking guys have some fucking balls.
Hey, trip though, E, after we get these motherfuckers,
you know,
it's gonna be a little hot in the hood, though. Right, La La?
We're gonna get the fuck out of here after that.
I'm gonna fucking take you guys to fucking Vegas.
You guys fucking do this shit right, I'm gonna treat you right.
But if we don't fucking do this,
we can never fucking come back, that's the fucking thing.
Wouldn't it be crazy if our kids
were pushing a black and white together one day?
Screw that. I want my kid to have an honest job.
Like a politician.
Whoa. Oh, idiot.
Light 'em up.
He's running.
13 X-ray 13, we're gonna be following a possible Code 37 vehicle
northbound Hooper from 4-2 street.
Gray Toyota minivan. License plate number 6-Queen-4-9-9-7-3.
Requesting backup, airship and a supervisor.
Yeah, you're clear right, go, go, go, go-Fuck, yeah.
You got this motherfucker. You got this motherfucker. Come on, Z.
Come on, Z.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Jesus fucking Christ. Fuck.
Go, get the fuck out of the car. Go, go, go!
Mike, come on!
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
X 13, what's your location?
13 X-ray 13, suspect running on foot. Male, Hispanic, dark clothing.
Shit!
Fuck!
Fucking missed, stupid.
Fuck. Go.
Go, go, go!
- Dude! Dude! - Fuck!
Move!
Tell her to get down, bro!
Fuck.
Shit, dude, no dice, man. We're fucking trapped.
Dude, call dispatch.
My fucking hand, man.
What's up? What, you got hit?
- Did you get hit? - Shit.
Fucking call dispatch.
I got no signal! Fuck!
Fuck, I don't...
Fuckers.
Shut up!
This is 13 X-ray 13...
Come through the fucking door.
Come on. Officers need help!
We're barricaded in an apartment building.
Shit!
What?
Tell that bitch to shut the fuck up!
Tell her to be quiet, Z!
25022 Hooper Place, apartment C.
Those motherfuckers are in there.
We're all good, we're all good, bro!
They're sending the cavalry, they're sending the whole fucking world.
Fuck!
Shit! Fuck!
Fuck!
Reload.
Partner?
Dude. Partner!
Bro, you all good?
Yeah.
Wasn't Big Evil in the army? Yeah.
We can't hold them off. We gotta lay down a base of fire and pivot.
What the fuck does that mean, dude?
We're shooting our way out of here, bro.
Can these fools get out?
Yeah, we got these motherfuckers, homie. Dudes ain't going nowhere.
Z, look at me. All right? Look at me.
Okay, okay.
On three, dude, you're gonna empty your mag and run.
Okay, okay. You ready?
One. Two. Three!
Go! Move! Move! Move! To the door, Z, to the door!
Move, Z! Go! Go!
Move, man, move, move, move!
Over the fence, man. You see the fence?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go, go, go!
Z! Wall. Go. You got me? There's a wall.
I got you.
Ready? I'll hold it, bud. Go, go, go!
They're everywhere.
Z! Z! Move, move! Take the left.
I think we killed that guy.
Good.
Just the dogs.
Where's the fucking cavalry, man?
I don't know!
Partner? What?
This sucks.
Is that us? Is that PD?
Slow, slow, slow.
Z! Gun! Hit them!
Curbside Gang, putos!
I lit that asshole up, man!
Brian!
Bro.
Dude. Is it bad? Fuck.
Wait, wait. Let me see. Let me see.
Fuck, dude.
It's bad. It's bad. You know what?
But I've seen guys way worse make it.
Dude, what are you fucking doing?
Don't fucking do that to me!
Stay right there!
Stay the fuck down! Stay down, I need to put pressure on your wound.
Where the fuck is everybody?
I don't want to die here, dude.
You're not gonna die here.
You're not gonna die. God loves cops.
I fucked up, dude. I fucked up.
Don't tell Janet I fucked up.
I'm gonna stay right here, bro.
I'm gonna stay right here, okay? It's okay. It's okay.
Do it, dude. It's okay.
It's okay to do it right now, bro.
I fucking love you, bro.
Officer down! I need some fucking help!
Please don't go right now.
I'm begging you, bro, don't fucking go right now.
Don't go right now.
What the fuck?
Checkmate, puto.
Rest in piss, bitch.
We got you, motherfuckers.
Happy fucking ending, homies.
Hell, yeah. Celebration time.
Look at the streets of LA.
Oh, shit! Fuck!
Shit.
Fuck, man.
LAPD! Drop the guns! Drop 'em!
Curbside Gang, putos!
Fuck you!
Cease fire! Cease fire!
Shots fired. Shots fired.
Newton units be advised, shots fired.
X 76, shots fired, shots fired.
Go ahead and show a Code 4, suspects are in custody.
Damn.
I'm gonna need an RA for two male
Hispanics, two female Hispanics
suffering from multiple gunshot wounds.
I'm also gonna need additional supervisors and units to my location.
X 76 is requesting additional units and supervisors
to the north-south alley east of Broadway, north of 4-1.
Where the fuck is Taylor and Zavala?
Is there a Code 4 at X 13's location?
13 L 10, the original help call was for X 13.
Do we have a Code 4 on X 13?
13 L 10, do we have all my people accounted for?
X 13, come in. X 13, come in.
Air 11 over Newton, come in, we're unable to locate 13 X 13.
Their last location was...
Shit. Fuck.
...25022 Hooper Place. Can you go by that location?
God damn it! It's them.
Mike! Mike! Shit. Shit.
Brian! Brian!
Request an RA for two males approximately 28 years old.
Not conscious, not breathing.
- Fucking A. - 13 X 2, we're roger on the RA.
Uniformed personnel, atten-hut!
I'll help you.
Shit.
Uh...
He was my brother.
Yo, if your kid was a girl, would you let her be a cop?
Bro, would I want my daughter packing a burner
so she could protect herself from the assholes of the world?
Hell, yeah.
I want to have a daughter, man. That would be so cool.
Just don't let her date cops.
She's not dating anyone. Okay.
Ever. All right.
Did I ever tell you about the first time I spent the night with Gabby?
I don't want to hear that, dude.
Dude, I got a hella big family, right?
See? Fuck, dude, I don't want to hear that.
I got a hella big family, bro.
Someone's always at my house, right?
But one time, Gabby's parents bounced to Ensenada
and her brother crashed at his girlfriend's.
So I spent the night at her house. Hmm!
And this was gonna be the night, dude. Hmm.
It was gonna be the night, do you know what I'm saying?
No, what are you talking about?
Well, I'll tell you what I'm talking about.
Okay, cool.
So we're in her parents' bed, right?
Yeah.
And it's on. It's about to go down.
I'm taking off her ohones, I'm...
Chones? What are...
Her skivvies, dawg, come on, bro.
Oh, right.
And I'm like finally, right? Fucking finally!
But then we hear this noise. Dude, someone's in the pad.
So I hide underneath the bed. And then I hear people coming up.
And it's her parents.
This is the second floor, bro.
What?
I got nowhere to go.
Homegirl's trying to distract them, but it ain't happening, right?
And the footsteps grow louder.
Louder and louder. Then the door opens...
Oh, my God, bro, I'm naked underneath the bed.
And then all I can see is little footsteps.
I see his hairy feet and I see her nails all painted,
and they're right there yapping, they're doing their thing.
And they crash. And this is the part that I never told Gabby.
I hear a little smoochie smooch, and I hear some shit,
and I'm like praying, "Please, no."
And they did it, bro. What?
They got down, dude!
What!
I'm talking Gabby's parents fucking, dude!
All right, I got it. No!
That shit was so traumatic, man.
You must have been a little uncomfortable
around her folks after that.
Yeah, bro, 'cause her father is a freak.
Dude, I guess when you've been married that long,
you gotta mix it up a little bit.
I tried rolling like that with Gabby and she was like,
"Hell, no, you're not touching me there."
it makes me fucking uncomfortable, man.
I know, I know, you know why? 'Cause you're a freak, too.
Don't go there, bro, just don't go there.
I fucking can't breathe. Holy shit.
Any Newton unit...
Let's go fight crime or something.
Okay.
Phew!