225, Right.
225 children are born every minute.
That makes it 4 children every second.
Which means by the time you reach home...
there will be 23625 babies born.
According to my science teacher's theory...
98.3% babies out of these can be classified into 3 categories.
1st - Parent's favorites.
They love their parents and listen to everything they say.
Obviously the parents are nothing but happy.
2nd - The Rebels.
Yes, the revolutionaries.
But unlike Bhagat Singh, their enemies are not the British...
but their very own parents.
I doesn't matter how much you scream and shout at them...
it makes no damn difference.
Then the 3rd kind - The smart ass.
They listen to everyone, but do what they feel like doing.
Their parents feel lucky to have such obedient kids.
But obedient are those who wait outside their house post midnight.
Which category am I from?
That's me. The fourth kind.
I wanted to fly but somehow couldn't unclip my wings.
And my mom dad.
Did you win a silver medal son?
No, no, no! You've lost a gold.
It's no big deal baby.
From tomorrow instead of swimming, we'll try golf.
Anyway, chlorine's not too good for your skin.
Dad wanted a gold medal and mom, a perfect face...
and to achieve that they decided everything for me.
Golf.
My sports.
My food.
My school.
College.
And before I knew it, I was an architect.
Dad sent me to Vegas for work experience.
The hub of architecture and construction.
This is my office, Marshal & Fox.
The 11th best architectural firm in the world.
But my dad wanted to see me in the top two.
His plan was, that after I got 2 years work experience,
I'd join his construction business in India.
And mom's plan was to get me married off to one of her...
socialite friend's socialite daughter.
But maybe life had a different plan in store for me.
That's me, Rahul Kapoor, son of reputed Mr. and Mrs. Kapoor.
And I've just been sacked.
And what bad timing, mom and dad were in Vegas for Christmas
and a business meeting.
And this is the story of the following two weeks,
that turned my life upside down.
What is this Rahul?
I could sketch better than this when I was in school.
I mean this one is..
I was twenty-five years old
and still found myself tongue tied in front of my father.
This is basics Rahul, basics.
Where did you get this red bow tie from?
Mom said...
The Bulani's called again, let's leave.
Mom said the red bow tie's nice..
That's why I thought I would..
Should I change?
Rahul! Move.
Baby, you're hairstyle looks really old fashioned.
Try something new.
Drop in at Vidal Sassoon Salon.
Use a little product, texture.
Give it some zing.
You should listen to your mother,
She's done her MBA in hairstyling.
If only I had, I could have done something about your hair.
I'm tired of telling you to get a hair transplant like Mr. Sarabhai.
You're already looking like you're fifty years old.
I'm fifty-five.
Every family has a tradition,
and not communicating while travelling in a car was ours.
Remember, behave like a Kapoor.
You must.. Impress them.
Speak intelligently, talk about Obama's finance policy.
You leave 'the Obama' talks to me
and concentrate on keeping his newly-wed wife entertained.
- And, baby .. - Adjust your bow.
So you're climbing the staircase to success huh?
How's work going?
It's going okay, Sir.
I like. Modest.
You know D.K.
Rahul's career's in your hands now.
Yes, yes. Of course.
Rahul, come here.
Come.
Is it about a girl?
Sorry Sir?
Your girlfriend, Jethmalani's daughter, who lives here in Vegas?
Anusha?
We broke up last year.
And you're still upset about it?
No.
Then what is your problem my boy?
Look at yourself.
You're so stiff. Like this..
You need to do Yoga,
Kapalbhati.
- You watch me... - Hold this.
Hold this.
Watch.
See, you're body will become completely free.
Try it.
Come on try it .. try.
Stop, stop, stop.
Yoga can't help you.
You need sex.
Lots and lots and lots of sex.
Take this.
Best escort service in Vegas.
Call for home delivery.
What home delivery honey?
Pizza. Baby loves pizza.
It's a great place, where you get all sorts of toppings.
Russian, italian or best of all topless.
If you're this excited with the card,
imagine how excited you'll be once it's home delivered.
Sir, I'm going to excuse myself to go to the bathroom.
Not too bad.
Oh! Thank God!
Imagine if you required plastic surgery.
It's not a chartered flight, we'll be late.
If a Nobel prize was given for being on time,
Your father would have won a couple of them by now.
It's high time you get serious now, Rahul.
Start concentrating on your work.
You've been given everything you've ever wanted. Right?
Rahul, I'm still waiting for that gold.
And by the way, Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Of course, I completely forgot.
Merry Christmas, baby.
Get a haircut.
Sam's an A grade idiot, mom.
He's an asshole, a total jerk.
I'm being dramatic?
Mom he cheated on me.
And now like always, he's sending his friends to spy on me.
Just to see how miserable I am.
I'm so over him.
Mom, if I see him or any of his friends anywhere,
I'm telling you, I'm going to kill him.
Mom, I have decided I am going to a psychologist.
No mom. I'm not a drama queen.
I've given seven interviews and haven't got a single call back.
I'm feeling low.
I need to feel normal.
- I need help. - And I need fifty cents change ma'am.
No mom, I'm not feeling homesick.
I am not PMSing.
I wish I could talk to dad.
When is he getting back from the ship?
Okay. Great.
So I'll see you on New Year's then.
Love you.
Ya ya.
Cigarettes and maternity jeans... I'll try.
I don't have money to pay my rent and...
Thanks for the change.
No problem. - Can you spare another five hundred dollars?
Sorry?
I'm kidding. I owe you one.
Are you here to take your change back?
No... I'm going upstairs.
So you're (crazy action) as well?
Sorry?
Are you visiting the psychologist too?
Nope.
- Which floor? - Thirteenth.
This building doesn't have a thirteenth floor.
Eleven... eleven.
Hi, I have an appointment.
- Miss Riana Braganza? - Ya.
Dr. Rooshad, door on the left please.
Sorry, just wanted to check if you charge by the hour or per session?
It's 60 dollars per half an hour.
Is he that cute?
How can I help you?
Jobless, broke and on the verge of killing
my two timing ex boyfriend. That's me Riana Braganza.
Rahul Kapoor, I got sacked 2 nights ago.
- How old are you Rahul? - 25.
26, actually I turn 27 in three days.
Tell me more about yourself.
I feel a bit lonely.
I want to be on my own.
Since I've been 15 I've jumped from one relationship to another.
But as of now..
- I guess I'll just have to wait for.. - You know the right one.
Six! I've dated six so-called Mr. Rights, but somehow sooner
or later they turn into Mr. Wrong.
It's .. It's irritating.
Irritation?
Some time ago, someone spilled soya sauce on my white shirt.
- Whenever I think about it, I feel... - I like things clean.
I just hate it when people
become anal about insignificant things like..
I can't wear my socks and underwear until they're ironed.
Really?
What about your sex life?
Next question please.
Tell me about your childhood.
It was normal.
Family gatherings, movies, parties, outings.
I was punished if I didn't brush my teeth 3 times a day.
That's why I have good teeth.
Clearly we have made some progress today.
You need a couple of more sessions.
Why don't you read our book?
Thanks.
Actually I'm already feeling really good. Thank You.
- Here you go. - Thank you.
You're welcome.
So, I have three minutes left. Do I get a discount?
Have some mint. They're free.
- Excuse me? - What's your name?
- Rahul. - Show me your driver's license.
Why?
Since when have you been following me?
- What? - Sam sent you right?
- Who? - That's so cute.
Are you crazy? You can't keep whacking me.
I've just whacked you with a file, if you ever spy on me again...
I'll hit you with my shoe.
Listen... you...
I'll whack you.
Take this as the last warning.
And tell Sam not to even accidentally cross paths with me.
Or I'll beat you both.
Maybe she just needs another session.
Merry Christmas.
One pepperoni pizza please.
That's one seventy five.
Shit!
- Hello. - I'm so sorry.
It's a huge misunderstanding.
Just give me your address and I'll drop off your file.
No please.
So then?
I live near Town Square. You can meet me there.
Six thirty?
Ya okay.
Shit!
Excuse me.
- I'm so sorry. - It's okay.
I thought you were my ex-boyfriends friend and...
I'm really sorry.
I'm Riana.
Rahul Kapoor.
- Merry Christmas. - Same to you.
My file?
Sorry...
Sorry for disturbing you on Christmas.
So, big plans for tonight huh?
Not really, going to be at home.
Family dinner?
Nope. I live alone.
Ouch! I know exactly how that feels.
Thanks.
Rahul...
It's Christmas Eve; I was thinking, do you wanna just grab a drink?
Right here, there's a place around the corner.
- No thanks. - I'm good company. Really.
I'm better off at home.
Please. - Actually, there's a Christmas special..
- On TV tonight. - I insist.
I'm not even much of a drinker.
Drink milk.
Sorry, bad joke.
Hop on.
I'll walk.
"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way."
Oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh baby!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...
Before I forget, your 50 Cents.
No, that's okay.
Come on.
Are they ever going to stop screaming?
I know. They really suck.
But this is the only place you get beer...
for three dollars and popcorn for free.
And to top that, you can scream and shout anything you want...
and nobody gives a damn. Watch this.
You guys suck! Stop screaming arseholes.
STOP!!!!!!!!!!
Cheers.
" My life is horrible, miserable, I'm gonna kill myself."
"Can anybody shoot me? Kill me?"
"Yeah! My life is horrible, miserable..."
So what do you do?
I'm an architect.
Oh nice! That was my back up career option.
So you're an interior designer?
Nope... Hairstylist.
I freelance and style hair for big shows in Vegas.
Hey what a coincidence, that we're both from a creative field...
and unemployed too.
Cheers.
How did you know I'm...
I read your file.
I think I should leave.
Relax it's not a board exam, you can read mine.
It's getting late.
It's nine thirty.
- Quarter to ten. - Why're you so...
I'm not...
- Do that again. - I'm not...
When was the last time you partied?
- Yesterday. - With who?
With mom and dad.
Jiggy wiggy with mummy and daddy.
Loosen up, you're such a tight-ass.
I'm not a tight-ass.
Do I look all high and mighty to you?
I don't know about you. But I'm definitely high.
I'm loose.
Whackaaaaaaaaw!
Loose.
- See. - Hey, guys.
Could you please help us?
Could you please help me?
Look at me.
Do I look uptight? Boring?
It's Christmas and we'd love to help you.
You see this lady over here?
We met five hours ago and we want to get married.
Hi! - Can you guys come on in and help be our eyewitnesses?
I can't see anything.
We'd love to witness your eyes.
Where are you taking me?
I want to go home.
This is God's home.
Vegas is the only place in the world...
where you are allowed to get married at anytime, in any condition!
And people often do get hammered and then married.
And maybe that night, we...
Oh shit...
Thank you. Thank you very much.
No no no no.
Please don't cry. Everybody's staring.
We can annul this marriage.
Britney Spears did it too.
No... no... no... no. An annulment is very different from a divorce.
When two people get married under..
'Not normal' conditions the law gives them the right to cancel...
the marriage without having to file for a divorce.
It's like never having gotten married in the first place.
We're going to have to annul this.
Don't worry an annulment is very different from a divorce.
Britney Spears has done it too.
- I'm aware of that. - Good.
2 strawberry shakes and a number 3 please.
So... You were rather charged last night.
Me? You mean we!
I'm always charged. But you!
In all that excitement I don't know where I left my scooter.
I'm going to have to register a police complaint.
Is 4 days enough?
Enough for what?
To have a child.
To get an annulment, what else!
Why? Do you plan on getting married again in 4 days?
I want to spend New Years in India.
Hello?
Spending new years with your family..
Or staying married to a total stranger?
Prioritize!
Can I suggest something? What if we tear the marriage certificate?
It'll be our secret.
Do you think we're playing house-house here?
This is a legal marriage and I would like to legally cancel it.
Can we leave?
My husband will take care of that.
Your shoes are a size too big for me.
I sincerely apologise. Next time will buy shoes in your size.
Hangover.
Are you feeling okay?
I'm sorry, last night I should have never instigated...
you into drinking that much.
Sometimes I behave really stupidly.
I wish when I make a mistake..
Someone would correct me right then and there.
Please stop blowing into your milkshake. It's very irritating.
Exactly... Thanks!
You could have warned me before putting the window up.
You're actually blaming me for this one too?
Can you ever find faults in yourself?
You're the one who shut the window.
Clean it. Properly.
Apart from behaving stupidly, you have a million other issues.
Instead of marrying me you should have married your psychologist.
Since you've met me you've driven me crazy.
Really! You need help!
I need help? Have you ever looked in a mirror?
You drive like an aunty, eat food like an old woman.
You're a girl. You should buy yourself a dress. I'll pay for it.
I see, Mrs. Laxmi Mittal!
You're the one shelling out all the cash since last night right?
The 50 cents at 7/11, the alcohol bill last night...
and not to forget today mornings breakfast... 'I'll buy you a dress'
- Stop the car. Stop the car... - Go ahead now, throw a tantrum.
If nothing else works, you might as well throw a tantrum.
I'm not throwing a tantrum. We've reached my house.
Will definitely return your money the next time I see you.
By the way your memory seems to have failed you,
I've already returned your 50 Cents.
If only my memory was as sharp as you tongue, I'd have remembered.
Thanks for the compliment. It was nice knowing you.
Just let me know when and where..
I should come to sign the annulment papers.
Trust me. Can't wait.
Hey. Come on, guys.
No rent, no house.
Please.
Mom, please don't yell at me.
I need help.
Mom, how long will it take for you to transfer the money?
By tomorrow?
Mom, I've pawned whatever I could have.
I'm still short of 400 dollars.
And all the budget hotels are booked for Christmas.
Mom, please don't cry.
Don't worry, Mom.
I've found a solution.
- May I help you! - No thanks.
Excuse me, Sir.
Your girlfriend parked the scooter by the trashcans last night.
I'm sorry.
And you guys puked.
A lot.
- I'll. - I'll call her.
My building security guard has found your scooter.
Please come and pick it up tomorrow.
Also you have to sign some papers for the lawyers' appointment.
Great scooter.
Perfect.
Hi.
I've got a business proposition for you.
At 3:00 am?
I'm a morning person.
It's lightweight, heavy duty, great mileage, eco-friendly.
Just for three ninety-nine.
I don't want to buy your scooter.
Come on. It's a great deal.
Please don't waste any more of my time.
Think of something else.
What should I think of?
Mom will take another twelve hours to transfer money into my account.
Dad's on the ship. And all the cheap hotels...
Trust me, I've tried everything.
Pre-pone your ticket.
I have a job interview tomorrow.
It's okay.
It's my problem. I'll find a solution.
I'll sleep on the roadside. I'll beg.
Push comes to shove, it's Vegas, I'll sell myself.
Thank you very much for your help.
Listen, you can sleep here tonight.
When your money gets transferred tomorrow, you can decide what to do.
Are you sure?
Don't be silly. You sleep in the bedroom.
This is for you.
Thank you.
Don't.
Sorry.
- What time is your interview? - Right now.
If you don't mind, after your interview,
could you drop off the annulment papers at City Hall?
- I might get late. - Sure.
I just have to go to the thrift store but...
Okay, so then what we can do is, I can pick you up from City Hall.
And then take you to the thrift store to get your stuff back.
Sounds good.
Oh! Last night I found this visiting card on your couch.
Boobs-a-liscious Escort Agency.
Since 1956.
They were very big clients of my firm.
I'm getting late. I should be leaving.
- Good luck. - You too.
Lahul Kapool, light?
Rahul Kapoor.
Lahul Kapool.
- Boss said. - You, No job.
Are you sure?
Sure.
So, how was your interview?
Listen, I'm really sorry about your interview.
Don't be, it's not your fault.
How was your interview?
Alright.
They might call me back in a couple of days.
Listen, I know a place where you'll definitely feel better.
Or actually, let it be.
Mom's just sent me money, and I'll blow it up again.
Where would I feel better?
I'm paying.
Take a right.
What are we doing?
It's pay back time.
The Japanese didn't hire you, so we hired them.
Do it properly.
Why am I laughing?
It's not funny. I'm unemployed.
Will keeping a straight face help you get your job back?
I was thinking, if it's just a matter of a couple of days...
you can stay at my place.
It's so true, "your husband is your God".
Such wise words.
That secretary was right.
You need more sessions.
I don't what convinced me to go a psychologist.
Break-ups are always bad.
Psychologists make them expensive too.
Especially your first break-up.
The weeping, the sobbing, the depressing love songs, the blank calls.
So you've had your heart broken too?
Tell me about it.
Are you crazy?
Tell me.
- No. - Come on. Big deal ya.
- No. - Come on. Please.
Now we're friends right?
Right. Anyway.
We'd been dating for about a year and I was only allowed to hold her hand.
So you never...
No... No.
Who was the last girl you dated?
Are you interviewing me?
No, I'm just sharing in your sorrow.
Come on, tell me.
Anusha.
Family friend, lives here in Vegas.
Mom and dad suggested so...
So?
So what?
We went on a few dates after which, she stopped calling.
Why?
I don't know. I guess I wasn't good enough or something.
I've understood your problem.
You need to start dating again.
Excuse me?
What problem?
You have a really low self-esteem and nothing will give your ego...
a bigger boost than hooking up with a chick.
Call Anusha.
I'm ignoring you.
At dinner. Give her a hundred percent attention.
Eat less and listen more.
Give her lots of compliments and lots of wine.
And because you let me live here, I'll tell you a special trick.
Don't drive your car to dinner.
Every girl likes to drive her boyfriend home once in a while.
Are you listening?
- No. - Come on.
- No. - You're calling her.
Absolutely not.
- I know you're going to call her. - I'm not going to call her.
- Really? - Ya, really.
- Call her. - I'm not going to call her. Okay.
Hello, Anusha?
So.
I mean, this dinner plan was a little out of the blue.
Anything important?
No. Just.
Mom mentioned your parents were in town.
Ya. Dad had a meeting and.
You look very hot tonight.
I'm sorry. I... I'm sorry.
So.
Actually, I'm glad you noticed.
You always liked my hair untied didn't you?
More wine?
Rahul, I think you've forgotten the effect wine has on me.
You know, it's an aphrodisiac.
And I'm working tomorrow.
Bad idea.
There's a lot more to life than work.
Where have you been hiding this Rahul?
Well, if we hadn't met through our parents,
You'd have gotten to know me better.
Same here.
So, what don't I know about this Rahul.
It was my foot.
I know. Ya. I know.
Like what? What don't I know?
Are you wild?
Ya, I'm wild.
How wild?
A hunter doesn't keep count of his prey.
Really?
Have you ever done it in a plane?
No. The bathrooms are really small.
But you can ask for a big blanket right?
Very true.
And in a bathroom?
Obviously, so many times that I can't even remember.
What's the matter?
I'm going to the bathroom.
Okay.
Rahul... I'm going to the bathroom.
Hi.
Hello.
So, what do you want to do?
We can eat our food first. It's getting cold.
I hope apart from your sense of humor...
everything else has improved as well.
Yes, definitely.
Do one thing.
Come this side.
Sit.
Shut the seat.
Sorry.
What?
Oh! Sorry.
So, where were we?
Anusha, I don't think I can do this.
What can't you do?
I want to go out.
Are you trying to play hard to get?
Anusha, please.
Rahul, please!
- Please. - Rahul, please.
No.
Rahul... quiet.
Listen to me.
No.
Anusha, please.
Dirty boy.
- I'm not kidding. - Shut up.
Why are you wet?
I went to a rain dance. Do you have a problem with that?
No.
So, what did you have for dinner?
Six liters of water.
If you're hungry I know a place close by.
If you had told me on the phone, I could have carried a towel.
It was a completely rubbish plan. Please do me a favor...
Don't ever give me your any advise again..
I asked you to go on a date with her.
Little did I know... she'd take you for a shower!
I hate her.
She's on my list of top ten most hated people.
Shameless!! At least apologize.
Okay, okay, sorry.
And you can at least wish me happy birthday.
Today?
Happy birthday.
Do you sleep with a seat belt on?
I...drive the car.
And wear your seat belt.
Okay Cranky pants!
Did you always want to be an architect?
Nope .. A hairstylist.
- Very funny. - Actually... I was quite fond of photography.
Oh God! I'd take random pictures of lampposts and insects.
How creative. It's a good that you didn't pursue it...
or you would have found yourself sleeping under one...
of those very same lampposts.
That's exactly what my mum and dad said.
Do you always listen to everything they say?
Yup.
Don't you get irritated trying to fulfill each...
and every expectation of theirs?
You know, when I was a child and my parents irritated me..
I would get angry and break all the expensive things in the house.
So you think you've grown up now?
Nope! There aren't any expensive things left to break.
Is this my new look?
Wait till it's styled.
Hello.
Ya.. this is Riana.
Yes.. yes I did.
But I'm going to India in 2 days.
Okay, great.. I'll contact you soon.
Yessss!
I got the job. A one-year contract, a return ticket...
and accommodation as well.
Let's celebrate.
My treat.
No. It's my birthday.
How much money do you have in your wallet? 20 dollars?
Very funny. Say we're gonna have fun.
- We're gonna have fun. - Louder.
We're gonna have fun!!!
- LOUDER!!!!! - We're gonna have FUN!!!!!!
Where are you taking me?
You like breaking things right?
Surprise!
Thank you!! For the best birthday ever.
Take it easy.
Don't worry, I can handle it.
Shit! I love her.
So it happened on the
25th of December, Christmas?
Yes.
Were there drugs involved?
- No. - Just alcohol.
And you both agree it was a mistake?
- Oh yes. - Yes.
Have you had sex?
- No. - Yes.
Not with him.
I thought you meant otherwise.
Okay, your application will be passed on for processing.
You can both come back on January sixth.
Thank you.
So you haven't told you parents anything?
What would I tell them?
Mom, dad... I lost my job.
And guess what?
I got so hammered one night that I ended up marrying a barber.
Hairstylist. Anyway...
You could have tried to explain.
You were allowed colas and candies when you were a kid right?
I'm still allowed. Why?
Because there are two kinds of parents in this world.
One that allow cola and candies and one that don't.
Mine were the latter.
The ones with the rules.
How sad.
You want some?
In my family, rules were unheard of.
My dad used to jump on the bed with me when I was younger.
Initially it was a lot of fun.
Till one day. The bed broke.
He fractured his arm.
And I broke my front two teeth.
Are they false?
You're bum's rather cute.
It's an eight on ten.
I wish my bum was as cute.
What do you think?
- Three. - What?
Four.
- Four? - And a half.
Okay five. Five and a half.
Five and a half?
Okay I'll be nice to you.
It's a six and a half.
I think it's a perfect ten.
I agree with you. You're right.
Okay. Why don't you get on top.
Now push.
Push harder.
No no... a little to the right. To the right.
A little more. Just push a bit.
Yes. Push. There.
Pervert.
There's no hope for you.
Speak with respect.
I'm your wife.
Who's going to harass me once you're gone?
Why? You think you're going to miss me?
- Don't be cute. - Really? You'll miss me?
Maybe.
Or maybe not.
Coz this will keep you busy.
Happy New Year.
There's no need to get so emotional.
It's a second hand camera.
Who are you?
Your new best friend.
Thank you.
You can sleep in the bedroom tonight too.
I'll crash out here on the couch.
You're not that cute, that I won't be able to control myself.
Do you snore?
Lots.
Don't. Don't take my picture.
I'm not photogenic.
That's not the camera's fault.
Fine. Click my picture.
There's no roll in the camera.
Cheapskate.
There's no roll?
Ri.
Ya.
Are you sleeping?
It's fine. What's up?
Nothing really.
Go back to sleep.
I don't know why I'm disturbing you in the middle of the night.
- Goodnight. - You're allowed to disturb me.
What's the trick?
What?
You're always so happy.
I look at you and wish I was you.
I wish I had planned my life out like you've planned yours.
You're doing exactly what you wanted to do.
I'm twenty-five years old..
And I still think...
that some day I'll wake up and understand everything.
Who I really am. What I really want to do.
I just wish I had a plan like you.
Plan?
I wanted to be a ballet dancer not a hairstylist.
The plan was to go to Paris.
But one day after rehearsal on my way home..
I had an accident.
Here.
I have a steel ball in my ankle..
And that's why I can never be a dancer.
I'm sorry.
I'm rather defective? Am I not?
False teeth, a steel ball in my ankle...
and my dad says my one eye is smaller than the other.
You're completely crazy.
Go back to sleep.
Goodnight.
Do you feel you're the first person in the world..
Who's failed at something?
No. I'm the first person in my family who's failed at something.
It's a good thing.
Someone started the trend.
It's not funny.
It is.
Can't you see?
You don't have a job, you've married a fool like me.
And you're taking advise from me as...
if I were Rajneesh Osho not Riana Braganza.
Take a break.
Come to India with me.
Now that's funny.
I'm not kidding.
Goodnight.
What's the problem?
You don't have any job interview for the next week.
The problem is that you and my parents live in the same city.
And they think I have a job here.
Right.
Bad idea.
Goodnight.
Have you ever bunked school?
Have you gone crazy?
If I can stay at your house, why can't you stay at mine?
No, no, no.
Ri, I'm feeling really weird. I'm just going to stay in a hotel.
Have you gone mad?
Exactly. What am I doing?
You're on holiday with me.
No no... I'm going home.
Will you drop me to Peddar Road?
I'll make up some excuse.
The company's sent me.
For research.
What are your parents going to think?
Relax. They're very chilled out. They got a little hyper..
When they found about our drunken marriage but...
Excuse me? They know?
Obviously and they also know we're getting it annulled.
Riana.
- Dad. - Baby...
- How are you?
Dad, meet Rahul.
Son-in-law.
Hope you're not drunk right now?
- Sorry Sir... I... - Dad, stop it.
Ri... Ri... Ri... Hi, baby, hi.
How are you?
- Sherry. - Aunty I'm... really scared of dogs.
- I'm. - I'm really scared of dogs.
No no, don't worry he won't do anything.
Don't be scared. Just tickle his balls.
Cheee Phil.
Phil help him.
Help him. Come, Rahul... come upstairs.
Don't be afraid.
Sorry Rahul, I haven't been able to train him properly.
No it's okay. He's a very cute dog.
- I'm talking about Phil. - Home sweet home.
Have you carried rocks in this bag?
Phil come on. Help him.
- Where's granny? - She's upstairs.
Allow me sir, to carry it.
- Sherry... Sherry. - Sherry.
Come, Rahul.
There's a slight problem.
I hope you don't mind.
The guest bedroom's under renovation right now.
So we thought you can sleep between Nicole and me.
Ya?
What? You want to sleep in Riana's room?
- No no. - So that's fine with you right?
The three of us can cuddle up together.
- No problem? - No.
Joking!
Dad!
Sorry, Rahul.
Until now you thought I was the crazy one.
But welcome to the mad house.
Come on, dad. - Something's burning in the oven. - Coming.
Damn! We'll have to eat burnt food again today.
He's a sweet guy.
Yup he is.
So... are you guys dating now?
No.
Have you slept with him?
- Phil she just said they're friends. - Dad!
Just checking you know.
I'm your father after all.
He's a sweet guy.
He needed a break, so I got him along.
I think he likes her.
I think I like him.
He's rich.
We're just friends.
- Ya! "Friends" - Ri!
- Steffy! - Hi... - Hi.
- How are you? - How are you?
Hi baby.
- Hi baby. - Hi mom.
If only you had given me a heads up,
I would have bought you a pair of pregnancy jeans too.
Shut up! I've been on vacation. It's just some holiday weight.
Seems like it was a rather heavy holiday.
It's so lovely seeing you again Ri.
And... why are you so damn decked up?
Okay now don't freak out.
We're all going to the gymkhana.
No! I've cooked us dinner.
And I've just come. I'm so tired.
She's so tired Steff.
She's walked all the way back from America.
I don't want to come.
I hate being amongst those oldies.
Dad, in a couple of years..
You're going to be part of the same category.
- Come on, let's go. - Alright. Let's go.
But -... with my son-in-law.
Dad, behave!
I forgot, Rahul's here.
Where's granny?
Oh Jesus!
Shameless boy.
What is your name?
Rahul.
The T.V.'s on.
Amitabh can see you.
What a shame!
- Granny... granny... granny... - Bloody fool.
Hi! I'm Steff.
Sorry. Granny has a bit of a problem.
Granny, you come with me. Come... come - come along.
- Come... come. - Come along.
- Where are you going? - I'm just checking him out.
He's not that cute!
- Hi! - Hi!
- Looking sharp. - Thanks.
I'm... I'm Karan.
Come on get ready... We're all heading out.
Ya.
Ri, get your husband ready.
10, 9, 8, 7,6,5...
4,3,2,1...
Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year! - Happy New Year!
Happy New Year darling.
- Happy New Year. - Steffy... Steffy... be careful!
The last time he got drunk, he ended up marrying Riana.
Rahul, ignore him please.
Stop it Phil, sit down,
Alright, alright! Who wants to dance?
Dance?
I'm going to dance from my seat. The Punjabi belly dance!
- How boring. - Hey come on Rahul, let's dance.
No Sir. I don't...
Come on... come on... You're family now, don't be shy.
Auntyji! It's my favourite song!
- Bye baby -bye dad, bye mom. - Goodnight.
Phil, come on. Let's go.
Wake up, mumma.
I didn't know you had such a fun side hidden...
behind your boring personality.
Actually, neither did I.
You move your bum pretty well on the dance floor.
You're not half as bad yourself.
Five on ten? Five and a half?
A perfect ten.
Idiot! That's mine.
Sorry Aunty.
Hello Mom, Happy New Year.
Thank you my darling.
Same to you my baby.
Where have you been?
I've been calling you for the past two days.
I'm sorry.. I.. I was at work.
I wish this year, you had been with us for New Years.
I wish I was there too.
How was your New Years?
It was fantastic. You know...
The Shah's threw a party for the Bulani's and everybody was there.
Rahul...
Actually mom I got to be somewhere.
I'll see you soon. Okay?
See me?
I mean I'll... I'll call you soon.
Bye mom.
- You're going to get me killed. - Sorry!
Where are we going?
School.
School?
Come on.
I love this place.
It's my favorite!
I wish I never had to leave.
We must be the first people in the world..
Who've come to school on a holiday.
Shut up! Come.
This is where my super hot boyfriend played basketball...
while all the girls stared at him.
Really? I'm sure he dumped you for..
One of those very same girls.
Very smart.
- This is cool. - Are they real?
Maybe.
All my school had was books and strict teachers.
This library was more famous for holding hands under the table...
than reading books on the table.
My boyfriend and me used to sit on that table.
Only hands? Not...
This is my school hall..
Where I performed for the last time...
before I had my accident.
- It's beautiful. - Isn't it?
I was eight years old when I performed here for the first time.
Right there.
And I know it's cheesy but right from...
that moment I knew I only wanted to be a dancer.
You miss this stage a lot don't you?
Sometimes.
I'm sure this stage misses you too.
Shut up!
You're quite talented.
Stop pulling my leg.
I'm not pulling your leg. I'm serious.
You were a ballet dancer.
Wanted to become an architect.
You're a stylist and look at me.
I'm so... so...
So what?
Average.
Are you crazy?
That's you're best quality.
That I'm average?
What kind of a backhanded compliment is that?
See, I've dated lots of men.
Some had great taste in music, but didn't read.
Those who read, were really boring.
And those who were even slightly interesting had...
really long beards.
Some had a drinking problem... some... Ri! Come to the point.
The point my friend is that you don't do anything in excess.
And that's a quality that's truly rare.
You, are perfectly average.
Average?
Yes!
I'm average.
I'm perfectly average.
I like that! Thank you.
Should I show you a secret place?
What is this?
My school's kissing spot.
Couples used to sneak in here all the time.
And you?
Obviously.
My best friend Amu kept a watch on the teachers from up there.
I had my first kiss here.
Thank you, Ri!
For changing my life.
Rahul! What was that?
What was that as in?
You like me, right?
- No. - I mean... Ri, don't joke around.
Yes.. but not that way.
So then, what are we doing out here?
- Rahul, I was just... - Shit! Oh Shit!
Rahul! Hold on a second. Listen to me.
Rahul. Rahul, listen to me.
So what? You made a mistake.
I made a mistake? I made a mistake?
Yes... but why are you screaming?
Stuff like this happens between friends.
What happens Ri?
Do friends start giving each other wrong hints? - What?
- Don't be so innocent, Ri. - What hint?
Did you take me to the kissing spot to watch a film?
I was showing you my school, God damn it!
And if you misunderstood, how is that my fault?
It's all my fault.
Seven days ago, I didn't even know you...
and today you want to change everything about me...
my mindset, my attitude... Even my stupid hairstyle.
What am I supposed to make of that? Of course you don't like me!
I like you. But as a friend.
Bull shit Ri! You led me on.
You just wanted me to run after you.
You should feel happy now. I followed you all the way to India.
Why are you misunderstanding everything, Rahul?
You know what! Thank God I've finally understood...
what you're all about.
You know what... just forget it.
Rahul...
Stop!
Rahul! Rahul!
Rahul, what are you doing here?
I was coming home.
- But what are you doing in India? - Is everything okay?
Mom.
Mom, let me explain to you.
She's a colleague of mine, Riana.
Riana, Mom.
Hello Ma'am.
Mom we've come to India for a research project.
Don't you remember I called you and told you that I'll see you soon?
I just landed this morning, mom.
I was going to come home after the site visit.
It's a surprise.
Happy New Year
I love you.
Oh! My baby.
I nearly died in those five seconds.
Don't you ever do that to me again.
Now come on let's go home and have some lunch.
We'll call dad as well.
Do join us.
Do join us. Come, come.
What a wonderful surprise.
I should've understood your hint when you called.
How foolish of me.
So, since when have the two of you been working together?
It's been a year.
A year?
What's this project you've come down for?
- Research. - Research?
On micro housing.
Marshall and Fox want to invest in the Indian market so...
Which company do they plan on collaborating with?
Don't you feel he should have been...
a CBI official instead of a businessman?
Baby, chew your food. Don't swallow. Thirty two times.
What kind of a haircut are you sporting?
It looks like someone's electrocuted the poor fellow.
Right?
It's certainly not Vidal Sassoon.
We should be leaving.
I've got a site visit reminder.
I'm going for a meeting. Can I give you two a lift?
No thanks dad. I'll drive.
Nice.
So everything that happened between us was only as friends?
What has happened between us Rahul?
When you asked me to come to India with you,
you did it as a friend?
Of course! You needed a break.
You've done so much for me, I just wanted to...
You were returning a favour?
No.
Rahul, I never meant to mislead you.
I just wanted to take care of you.
I can take care of myself, Riana. I'm twenty-five years old.
And you still lie to your parents.
Thank you.
Mom.
Hello baby.
How was the site visit?
It was okay. Mom, I want to tell you something.
Of course. Sure.
The thing is I...
First you tell me,
This nail polish or this one?
This one right?
This is so average.
I like to be unique. Don't you?
No mom...
Look who's here.
Mr. surprise.
When are you heading back?
On the fifth.
The fifth? That's good.
Because I feel Bulani's and Shah's will lock the deal this week.
So I am thinking of inviting them...
for dinner on the fourth to seal the deal. You know!
Will their wives be there as well?
You're going to be there right?
What were you telling me?
Surprise us.
No. Nothing important.
Why is life so complicated mom?
It is going to be okay.
I can't believe it.
You understood his feelings before I did.
Hello Rahul.
Which one?
It doesn't matter.
Rahul.
You know how important this deal is for the both of us. Right?
You can't even imagine the kind of kick-start your career would get.
I've worked very hard for this Rahul.
One more thing...
Mr. Shah will talk to you about Mr. Hathiramani's daughter.
There's no hurry.
Take your time.
It's also very important.
You're looking nice.
Oh! I have to tell you,
Mr. Bulani had taken us to see the Opera at Ceaser's Palace.
It was absolutely wonderful.
It was awesome.
I bought the top ten classical CD at the airport itself.
The Mozzart, beautiful.
Honey, it was Beethoven.
Eat you dinner darling.
Rahul my boy.
What's the matter? You look sad.
It looks like you haven't eaten pizza for a while!
Pizza?
It's our own little joke.
Looks like you haven't been taking my advice.
Impossible!
If he doesn't listen to you guys, whom would he listen to?
Taking about advice, Mrs. Kapoor, the market's down.
It's the right time to invest in diamonds.
Great minds think alike Mr. Shah.
Darling, show them the finger.
Come on.
Tiffany's?
Oh! That's such a beautiful rock.
It's a big rock, just like my big ..
Sorry. Sorry. Non veg jokes not allowed.
Mr. Bulani's got a great sense of humor.
Well Rahul, I've got some advice for you too.
Before you leave, you should meet Sukhmani Hathiramani.
Mr. Hathiramani's looking for good suitor.
It's a good idea. It'll be great for the business.
Absolutely. I mean he's very keen on meeting her.
In fact it's about time my son got married.
And Rahul my boy, I'll give you a few tips after...
which she won't look at any other man apart from you.
Gone are those days... thanks to my wife...
she can't take her hands off me.
For her it's all about loving her husband, if you know what I mean.
- What happened? - What happened?
I think Mrs. Bulani got a cramp in her hand. Right?
I did not.
A cramp? In her hand?
Get some ice please. Ice.
- Would you like some ice? - No.
- Use my hanky? - I'm fine!
Mr. Shah...
Rahul's really excited about our partnership.
We were talking about it yesterday itself.
He has some wonderful ideas.
- Rahul... - Oh really.
Actually he's come down for a very big project...
commissioned by Marshall and Fox in India.
Rahul tell them about the whole micro housing project...
that... come on tell us Rahul ..
It's a lie dad.
Sorry.
A lie!
What do you mean?
What are you saying Rahul?
What I'm saying dad is that I lost my job.
Not just that, after you guys left Vegas,
I got so hammered one night, that I ended up getting married.
Married?
- Married? - To whom?
To Riana.
Your colleague?
Actually dad, I lied about that too.
She's not my colleague, she's a hairstylist.
- Oh God! A Barber. - What! You married a hairdresser?
I mean .. Oh my God!
Mom, we're getting the marriage annulled.
Please don't over-react.
Divorce?
- You're getting divorced! - It's not a divorce...
Everybody just please calm down.
It's all in the past. He's had his fun.
Sweety, we'll find you a really nice girl.
Your mum's right.
You listen to me .. listen to me..
Go meet Sukhmani Hathiramani tomorrow itself.
No matter what she's like, Let's face it...
she'll be better than a barber!
I mean, come on ya ..
Shut up!
You want to give me relationship advice?
- Your wife was... - Rahul! Rahul!
Is this how you talk to a guest?
- Excuse yourself and go outside, - I'm not going anywhere dad.
Go outside and get yourself some fresh air.
I'm not going anywhere dad.
Okay .. fine! We'll discuss this tomorrow.
When do we discuss anything dad?
You talk and I listen. That's not a discussion.
Rahul, is this how you talk to your elders?
Which elders are you talking about mom? You?
Who's been trying to look thirty-five for the past ten years...
or dad who's constantly trying to remind me...
that all I am is a failure.
Rahul, that's not fair.
That's not fair. Come on ..
Since the day you were born...
you've been given everything you asked for.
I asked for?
Dad, you've given me everything that you wanted to give me...
so that I would become just like you.
But I'm not you and I don't even want to be like you. I ..
- I'll take care of him.. - Stop it. Stop it ..
I'll take care of him.
Are you crazy? Instead of trying to take care of me...
why don't you take care of your wife?
- She can't get her hands off me! - Dayna?
I did not.
Rahul behave...
How much more appropriately should I behave?
Wear a jacket, adjust your bow, spike your hair...
join the family business, use chopsticks...
I'm tired!
It's my life. And whether I eat with chopsticks...
a fork or my damn hands, it's my decision.
So just let me breathe.
What's wrong with using chopsticks?
Enjoy your dinner everyone.
What's wrong with you?
Stupid!
I'm sorry.
Please Rahul, don't embarrass me.
No. Really, I am.
I'm so stupid, I always cross the line.
I'm really sorry that I hurt your feelings.
Ayyy... cutie pie.
Hi granny.
Let's step outside.
Rahul, you're the one with whom
I can discuss my screwed up relationships.
I would never want to screw up our relationship.
As of now, I don't want to be with anyone.
Not even if it's as wonderful a person as you.
Another backhanded compliment.
No! I love you sooooo much Rahul.
Really.
But just as a friend.
That's where the problem lies.
I feel the love, you feel the friendship.
The only problem is that you've gone a step ahead of where I am.
All I have to do is pull you back.
Ri! It's not that easy.
We can try, can't we?
You look so cute when you cry, it's tough to say no.
I'm really sorry I hurt you Rahul.
I really am.
First you sit so close to me and then you wonder why I get mislead.
Do you want a hug?
So your mom didn't send you to.
Vidal Sassoon to change your "electric shock" haircut?
As of now, I'm the one who's shocked them.
What do you mean?
I told them.
No!!!
Everything.
About my job, our wedding and every habit of their's...
that annoys the hell out of me.
So now?
Now what?
I'm going to wear a tie of my own choice.
What fun.
I'm going to swallow my food as and when I want.
No baby! Chew your food, thirty two times.
There are those times in your life when you feel you can fly.
You feel there's something in the universe that's made just for you.
And that night was made just for me.
The morning after, turned out to be even more beautiful than...
I ever imagined it to be.
In retrospect, I do feel that maybe I said too much that night.
But I do hope, some day Mom and Dad understand me.
The next morning, we were in Vegas for the annulment.
And for better or worse...
Riana and me are no longer husband and wife but just friends.
And since then she has been trying...
to hook me up with some girl or another.
She doesn't spare a chance... And it's really embarrassing.
But I don't want to date anyone else because I really love her.
I don't seem to understand what she finds lacking in me.
Now I even have a job...
It may not be in the top 10 but I get time off for my photography
and obviously my favourite model... you know.
Well, sometimes I hope the future's better.
But then I realise that the present is not too bad either.
Life isn't perfect, but I am happy. I'm really happy.
For the first time, I'm living life on my own terms.
As for Riana and me, we often cross the chapel where we got married.
And I believe that...
someday I will convince her to get back in there and marry me.