All right.
We'll start this next set with a song about
the North Texas, Southern Oklahoma,
crystal meth, amphetamine industry.
# Strap them kids in #
# Give them a little bit Of vodka in a cherry coke #
# We're going to Oklahoma To the family reunion #
# For the first time In years #
# It's up at uncle Slayton's #
# 'Cause he's getting on In years #
# He plays that Choctaw bingo Every Friday night #
# You know he had To leave Texas #
# But he won't say why #
# He owns a quarter section Up by Lake Eufala #
# Caught a great big ol' Blue cat #
# On a driftin' jug line #
# Sells his hardwood timber To the shipping mill #
# Cooks that crystal meth Because the shine don't sell #
# He cooks that crystal meth Because the shine don't sell #
# You know he likes that money He don't mind the smell #
# He plays that Choctaw bingo Every Friday night #
# He drinks his Johnny Walker At that Club 69 #
# We're gonna strap them Kids in #
# Give 'em a little bit A Benadryl #
# And a cherry coke We're goin' to Oklahoma #
# Gonna have us a time #
# Have us a time #
It's out of here.
Wee-haw!
Well, here we go again, buddy.
Hey, Jer.
I sure like your new truck.
Get the hell out of here, Norvel.
Or there's gonna be trouble.
See that?
It's my trailer, you cheater.
You tell your boyfriend come on out here,
take a look at his new ride.
I told you, he ain't here.
I'll knock out his headlights too.
Hey. I better get to this.
Whoa, Sandy. Norvel. Get off my head.
Hey. Hey. - Get off me.
Get your hands off me.
She's a cheater, Rack.
Hey. Hey. Settle down. Tell me what happened.
My brother come up here today to borrow my minnow bucket,
because he's going fishing with Bobby Bell this afternoon.
So what? He saw Jerry Buckey
sneaking in my trailer, that's what!
Your brother didn't see jack squat.
Sandy, now, let him talk.
Shut up, Lonnie. Sandy, calm down.
Go ahead, Norvel.
Well, I raced right over here from work,
and by God if I didn't see Jerry Buckey's truck,
parked right here.
And I just
snapped.
Well, partner, that ain't Jerry Buckey's truck.
It ain't?
This truck here you tore up,
that belongs to Jay Boy Simpson.
Uh-oh.
Now, is it true?
Jerry Buckey been here with you, baby?
You know me, Rack.
I'm a lot of things but I ain't no cheater.
I would never even think of cheating on Norvel.
I haven't even seen Jerry Buckey
since last Friday. - Hey, Rack.
Now, Sandy, you know good and well Norvel loves you.
Oh, the hell he does. He never takes me anywhere.
Why, he was telling me the other morning
he had big, big plans for you this weekend.
What? Ain't that right, Norvel?
Oh. Oh, yeah, Rack. It is.
I was gonna take here to eat catfish.
You was?
You was gonna take me to eat catfish?
Yeah.
And hushpuppies too?
Yeah.
Oh, Norvel.
I love catfish.
I know you do, baby.
Oh, Norvel.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry too, baby.
I love you, baby. I love you too, baby.
Ain't love beautiful?
Let's roll.
All right, y'all, take care.
We'll see y'all next week.
Bye, Rack.
Bye, Lonnie. Thank you.
I don't want any thanks, either. If he came in...
Hey, babe. Where are we going?
"Hey, babe. Where are we going?"
Cam, I'm late. I'm sorry.
There's late, and there's too late.
You're the second.
I had to take that prisoner over to Lawton.
What am I suppose to tell the sheriff?
You tell him it's your girlfriend's birthday
and you're suppose to be home hours ago.
I did. - Oh, yeah? What did he say?
He said, "Take that prisoner over to Lawton."
You know what? I'm just sick of your excuses.
It's always, you're working late
or you're there with your buddies.
You know what? I'm really glad you're having a good time.
I'm glad you like to party. I'm glad you like to have fun.
But unfortunately, you never like to do it with me.
Cammie.
I got you something, baby.
This ought to be good. What?
Oh, it's nothing big. It's just a little something
I wrapped up in a pair of underwear. Threw in my pants.
Jerk! - Damn, Cammie.
Damn, Cammie, don't. This is crazy.
Do you remember your birthday last year?
Let me remind you.
I put on that sleazy little cocktail outfit,
just like that floozy-ass poker waitress you like so much
down at the Indian casino.
You came in here,
you didn't say hello.
You sat on that couch, you eat pork rinds, drink beer,
and you fell asleep watching Coal Miner's Daughter.
That was real nice.
I like Coal Miner's Daughter. Cammie.
You hit my mower.
Asshole.
What have I done?
Well, looks like Daddy's gonna have to get him a new mower.
Oh, yeah, Rack,
looking good.
Hey, boys, what you doing?
Damn, Lisa, you're looking good, baby.
I wonder if she's still mad at me?
Hey, Lis.
Ooh...
Mornin', Peabody. - All right.
Uh, hey, you got a little
donut right there on you.
Here? No, over here.
Mornin', Rack. - Mornin'.
I forgot to tell you yesterday, Cammie called.
Oh, yeah? Is she okay?
She's fine. How's George doing? - Just horny as hell.
Well, I can see why. - You know, that's nice.
But ever since he sold my ThighMaster,
my ass just swelled up.
Well, cowboys like fat calves.
I hear the hardware store is having a sale on lawn mowers.
You might wanna get one.
What's up, Skunk?
I did it. I did it, Rack.
I taught Junior how to detect the smell of drugs. Sit, boy.
Sit, Junior. No.
Stay.
You're gonna love this.
Drugs.
No peeking.
Okay. Here we go.
Okay, boy.
Find the drugs, Junior.
Hold on.
Come here, Junior. Turn around.
Now get ready.
All right. Come on.
Here we go.
All right, Junior, go ahead.
Find the drugs.
Find the drugs, Junior.
Come on, Junior. Find the drugs.
Give him a second. - That's really good, Lonnie.
You know, he might actually be able to find them
if you glue them to his balls.
What are you turds up to?
Uh, nothing, sheriff.
Well, we're gonna have to change that.
You boys are working this weekend.
Work? - Yeah, work.
It's the opposite of what you usually do.
Jackson County Co-Op.
You're gonna stake it out Saturday night.
Someone's been stealing anhydrous ammonia
from the co-op tanks and we're gonna catch them.
Well, why would anybody wanna steal fertilizer?
Why would anyone name a baby Lonnie?
It's what they use to cook meth with.
Sheriff Wells over at Altus
says it's getting to be a big problem over there.
These smaller co-ops are easier to hit.
Sheriff, why can't these two guys do the stakeout?
Well, because I said so, that's why.
Besides, these boys worked the high school prom
last Saturday night. - That's nice.
Least they were working this time.
Last time they were at prom, I believe they went as a couple.
Eat me. - You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Ah, ah. That's quite enough.
We'll take care of this, sheriff.
See you boys Monday.
You get rid of that-- That damn dog, will you?
Well, it's a K9 recruit, sir.
Right. Get rid of it.
Skunk?
You're a deputy. Try to look like one.
Where is your gun?
Where's your badge?
Why do I try?
This sucks.
Staring at fertilizer tanks on a Saturday night.
It's ridiculous.
Why don't you try complaining a little bit more about it.
See if that helps.
You got something better to do? - I did.
I was gonna stay home and take off all my clothes.
Becky was gonna take off all her clothes,
and we were gonna do some other stuff
that didn't include looking at fertilizer tanks with you.
How come Skunk never talks?
He speaks when he's got something to say.
I've known him my whole life, he's never said one word to me.
Yeah, he don't talk much.
But he is about the best cop I ever knew.
I'm a-pretend I didn't hear that.
How come he carries that bow and arrow?
You mean, you don't know? - No.
Skunk was orphaned at a real young age,
and raised on a reservation
by a great Kiowa Indian war chief.
I didn't know that.
Yeah. You know that, uh, pilgrim-looking fellow
on the outside of the Quaker Oats box?
You mean, the one that looks like Barbara Bush?
Yeah, him. - Yeah.
Skunk's great, great grandfather killed him.
Really?
Wow...
And then he cooked him in less than a minute.
That's bullshit.
It is bullshit.
But he was raised on a reservation. I promise you.
Dang, Lonnie. God.
What?
You got a sour stomach?
I didn't do that, Junior did.
Hey, you know what? I've noticed something about Junior.
Whenever he farts, something big's about to happen.
I wonder what these boys doing out here
in the middle of the night.
You reckon it's those fertilizer takers?
Fertilizer takers?
He's cutting the lock off the gate.
He don't work here.
If he worked here, he wouldn't do that.
Let's go, Lonnie.
Take your gun off safety this time.
Got it, boss. - Hurry up.
Let's do it.
Twenty-five gallons, five minutes.
Twenty-five. Make it happen. Let's go.
Freeze! - Yeah. What he said.
Shoot them, pendejo.
Damn it, Lonnie.
Let's go. Let's go.
I wouldn't do that.
I give up.
Go. Hurry.
Watch these two. I'll get these other guys.
You boys familiar with good cop/bad cop?
Well, the good one just left.
Go, go, go.
What happened?
This is Rack.
All units in the vicinity, be advised.
Rack, uh, this is Peabody.
What's your--? What's your...?
Twenty. What's my 20?
Yeah. Your 20. What's your 20?
I'm in the back of an old black one-ton flat bed.
Request all available backup.
Lonnie and Skunk with you?
That's affirmative.
Uh, that is all available backup.
You're under arrest. Don't make me come in there.
Now you've pissed me off.
Boy, we sure nailed them.
That elbow of yours is lethal.
I'm-a tell you what, you hit that guy so hard,
I will never risk you catching me peeing in your coffee again.
You get the personal items off the prisoner, file them for me.
You got it.
Well, boys, we're gonna need all your stuff.
Watches, wallets.
Pictures of your boyfriends.
Y'all look like hell.
We might have to run out and buy y'all some Bactine.
We got everything?
Well, fellas...
Hey, uh, I'm gonna need that necklace.
Do you want this?
Yeah.
You cannot have this.
Do you understand what I say to you?
This is familia.
You keep your necklace.
Because where you're going,
that necklace ain't gonna be able to help you.
You boys sleep tight.
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
# Honey, let's get trashed And throw it all away #
All right.
That figures. We're out working, they're out drinking.
Oh, now, what are you three stooges doing in here?
Yeah, shouldn't you girls be on the stakeout?
Actually, where we should be is over at your daddy's house,
kicking him in the potatoes for having sex with your momma.
Hey, now, don't--
We always work more than they do, sheriff.
Actually, they did have to work tonight.
Norvel and Sandy went out to Catfish Cove,
and they run into Jay Boy Simpson.
That was one hell of a fight.
Hey, ain't that my bat?
Ow!
Well, it ain't love beautiful. Ain't love beautiful.
Hey, Jake, how about
a round of shots for the table and three beers?
Table number seven.
What happened out there tonight?
Oh, nothing big. High-speed chased, little scuffle.
Rack?
Caught four guys stealing fertilizer.
Three of them were just local lowlifes for hire,
but this one guy, he's a Mexican guy. I don't know.
He may be connected. He seemed to be running the show.
Any idea who that might be?
We're working on it. I'll know something soon.
Anybody hurt? - Sheriff, this one guy
took one of Skunk's broadheads right in the ass.
He's lucky my boy didn't put one through his pump station.
Ain't that right, Skunk?
That damn bow and arrow of yours.
Well, listen, here, I wanna congratulate you boys.
A little toast. - Here we go.
Whiskey for my men.
Beer for my horses.
# Let's get trashed #
# And throw it all away # - # Throw it all away #
"And his sweat was like drops of blood
falling on the ground."
"When he rose from prayer and went back to the disciples,
"he found them asleep,
exhausted from sorrow."
"'Why are you sleeping''
"he asked.
"'Get up and pray
so that you will not fall into temptation.'"
Amen.
If you want salvation, brethren...
Lonnie? ...you got to open your ears
and listen to the word of the Lord.
Amen. You've got to open your eyes
and look into the book
and learn to live by the word of the Lord.
Amen.
You must wake up and smell the Bible.
A...men.
Ain't that so, Lonnie Freeman?
Amen.
Reverend Parker,
that was a wonderful message you gave today.
Really? What was your favorite part?
Oh, you know, the whole thing about God being great.
And devil being an ass and stuff.
I feel like a new man.
Oh, I bet you do considering all the sleep you got.
Come on, Becky. - Thank you.
Lonnie.
We'll see you tomorrow, Lonnie. - Okay, buddy.
We missed Cammie this morning. Is everything okay?
She's just fine. She's a little bit under the weather.
You know, couples just don't seem to stay together anymore.
It's kinda sad. - Heh.
Yeah, it's sad, all right.
Well, I'll see you later, preacher.
Rack? - Yeah?
You can borrow my lawn mower any time you need it, son.
Johnny Franks? Heh.
I thought youse in jail. - Nope.
You staying out of trouble, boy? Oh, yes, I am, Mr. Deputy, sir.
Yes, sir. - Good.
You ain't.
Are you high, Johnny?
You screwed up, deputy.
Bigtime. - Yeah.
You know that, uh--? That Mexican guy you arrested?
His name's Tito.
And his brother, he's gonna kill you.
Somebody's gonna kill me?
That's big news, Johnny. - Thanks.
Here's some news for you.
You're not a rapper.
So pull your pants up. - What--?
You know, you don't know who you're messing with.
They'll kill you if you're ain't careful.
You let me worry about that.
Boogie.
They'll kill you.
Hey, Lonnie. - Hey, Rack. Heh!
That's my partner. - Well.
Twist my nipples, look who's here. - Hey, darling.
You lookin' a little rough this morning, Rack.
Oh, I'm all right. - Where's Cammie?
She went on vacation. - Really? Where'd she go?
I'm not sure.
You-all break up again?
Yeah. - I already heard.
You want your usual, baby?
And then Junior farted,
and I knew something big was gonna happen.
Then, about that time, the tip of the Zebco
just went straight down in the water.
And I just set the hook.
And I fought that son of a bitch for about 20 minutes.
It was a snapping turtle.
Rack, I am surprised you even let him carry a gun.
Do you hear Annie Streets was back in town?
No, really? - Yeah.
Her momma got the Alzheimer's,
and she flew in from Chicago, help take care of her.
Well, what about her stepdad? Don't he take care of her?
Buck Baker? Shit.
All he cares about is making money.
He's too busy trying to bully farmers
into selling him their land for a dime on the dollar.
Hell, he practically owns every farm in the county now.
He never got Daddy's farm.
Well, he's one of the few that stood up to him.
Rest his soul.
When I was dating Annie, me and him never got along.
You know, I always just knew
you two would get married someday.
She wanted to go off and see the big city.
There's no way I was leaving.
You've still got it for her. You always have.
Why don't you go see her?
She probably got some big high-dollar boyfriend
back in Chicago. I saw her here the other day.
She didn't have no ring on her finger.
We had our time together a long time ago.
Anybody ever tell you you are stone lazy?
Annie is the only female ever come close
to giving you a run for your money.
And that's what you were missing in your life,
in case youse a-wondering.
So why don't you leave me a big fat tip,
get off your sorry ass, and go see her?
And take her something nice.
It's a little cool out here.
Here you go.
Keep you warm.
Oh, my God.
Momma?
Joe Bill Racklin.
What in the world?
Hi, Annie.
What are you doing out here?
Oh, I don't know. I guess I just wanted to come out here
and see what a big-city girl looks like these days.
Heh! Oh, yeah, well, what do you think?
Well, she looks a lot like a, uh, small-town girl
I used to know a long time ago.
Pretty as a picture.
Oh, stop it, Rack. What are you really doing out here?
Well, actually, I came here to bring you some corn dogs
from the Tasty Cream.
I remember how much you used to like them so much.
Wow.
Well, I didn't really have much of a choice,
'cause it was the only place you'd ever take me.
Uh, I got you some, uh...
mustard here somewhere.
Damn.
I got you the wrong one. I got ketchup. I got--
Rack, you haven't changed a bit.
Is that a good thing?
Yeah, I guess.
Been a long time, Annie.
Yeah, it sure has.
So, uh, Buck's got quite a place here, huh?
Yeah, it's changed a lot since I left.
He bought up a whole lot of acreage.
See all those buildings over there?
All new.
Trucks a-going day and night.
Wow. - Yeah.
Mrs. Baker?
I think the last time I was out here was when you--
Hey, Rack.
How you doing there, buddy?
Hey, Buck.
How's the, uh, deputy life suiting you?
It's honest dollar.
An honest dollar.
You and your daddy both.
I was sorry to hear about his heart attack.
Looks like he kinda worked himself to death, huh?
Rack, why don't you come on inside
and I'll fix you some sweet tea?
Oh, that's okay, Annie. I probably gotta get back to town.
I got some deputy stuff I need to go take care of.
I'll see you.
Hey, Rack!
If you, uh, ever decide to sell your daddy's farm,
call me first.
Hell, you ain't no farmer, son.
You're a bigtime deputy.
Does it take practice being a grade-A asshole, Buck,
or were you just born one?
Born one.
Hey, buddy. Are we still going pig hunting?
I thought you and Becky was going over to Lawton.
No, she's, uh, keeping her sister's kids and that,
so Daddy's got a hall pass.
Well, by God, then it looks like we're going pig hunting.
What the hell are you doing?
Rack, watch this.
Okay, Junior.
Bite me, boy.
Bite me, Junior.
Junior, bite me.
He did it earlier. Come on, Junior.
Bite me. Damn it, Junior. Attack me.
Lonnie, cut that racket, will you?
Get rid of that fleabag.
Yes, sir. Come on, Junior.
Let's go.
Any news on that Mexican boy?
Uh, we send the prints over to the feds.
We're still waiting on a positive ID.
Okay. Hey, Mavis?
We get that, uh, fax in from Oklahoma City yet?
No, but you'll be the first to know when I do.
Sheriff in?
How about a "good morning"?
Just tell the sheriff I'm here.
Hey. Ungh!
Sheriff, the DA's here. - What's he want?
An ass-whupping, the way he's talking to me.
Mavis, you send him on back here then.
Oh, that's--
I knew I smelled something rotten.
Well...
Hear you boys had a big weekend.
Congratulations on the arrests,
but, uh, we need to discuss this case.
What's to discuss?
Well, I spoke with the judge,
and we don't think we have a good enough case--
You don't have a good case? - No.
We caught 'em stealing red-handed.
Fertilizer.
Caught 'em stealing fertilizer.
Heh! Frankly, gentlemen,
we feel this entire affair has been totally mishandled.
Mishandled? They fired shots at us.
Rack, let me handle this.
Close the door.
I mean, close the door with you on the other side of it.
Now, the truth of the matter is
we don't really know what these boys were planning
on doing with the fertilizer.
We all know what they were gonna do with that fertilizer.
They weren't tending sick lilies.
They're making meth.
Then we should have had the feds come in and take care of it.
You've already blown the opportunity
to set up surveillance operations,
tracking their money sources,
making them lead us to the big boys
in their manufacturing and distribution network.
And now,
because of your, uh, rogue deputies there,
we got nothing to show for it, except maybe a lawsuit
for skewering a man's buttocks with an arrow.
I mean-- Hee-hee!
What the hell kind of a department are you running here?
Is this what you've been waiting for, Rack?
Yeah.
This may be of interest to you, Mr. DA.
Tito Garza, wanted on federal charges.
Drug trafficking, racketeering, attempted murder charge.
Feds want us to deliver him to Oklahoma City on Saturday.
Well, I'll, uh, run that by the judge, see what's what.
You may wanna take a look at that file too, sheriff.
Thank you, Mavis. Well, what have we got here? Who's this?
That's Manny Garza. That's Tito's brother.
He heads up-- Oh, nothing.
--just the biggest drug cartel in all of Mexico.
Well, this is terribly interesting,
but I am due in court.
If you'll excuse me. - Mm-hm.
You have a nice day, Mr. L.
Fall out boys, off your ass, on your feet,
out of the shade and in the heat.
We're going to the courthouse for your arraignments.
On the hop. Let's go, move it, girls!
Get out! - Hey, easy.
Not you, hotshot.
You earned yourself a few more nights here at the five-star.
Looks like you got a big date with the FBI.
You know, my brother gonna come looking for you.
And you're not gonna like it when he finds you.
Heh-heh! Well, you tell your brother this, tough guy.
I'm easy to find.
Thursday night, I'm pig hunting with Lonnie.
Friday night, I'm drinking beer at the Thirsty Monkey.
Saturday morning, I'll be at my house
drinking coffee at the kitchen table.
And Saturday afternoon,
I'm taking your ass to Oklahoma City
so you can find a horny convict to be your love piñata
for the next 50 years.
Comprende?
Come on, Lonnie.
Let this guy stay here.
Hey, stranger, what are you doing?
I was about to ask you the same thing,
driving down the wrong side of the road like that.
Isn't that illegal?
Well, not if it's official police business, it's not.
Oh, so that's what this is?
Well, if anybody asks, it is.
So are you lost?
No, I just came into town to pick up a few things.
How's your momma doing?
She's all right. - Yeah?
She's resting. - Hm.
So, uh,
I was gonna run over to Altus
and catch a movie tomorrow night.
By yourself?
Well, if you're not going.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm going. - Yeah?
All right. So I'll pick you up at Buck's house?
Why don't I come by your place? - Okay.
How about 6:00ish?
How about 6:00?
How about I'll be there?
Uh-huh.
Mm-mm.
Now, let me get a little of you walking home.
Damn. Mm-mm.
Sure is nice out here tonight, ain't it?
Well, that's all it is. I gotta piss.
I knew we should've gone down to the river.
There ain't a pig out here. - How would you know?
Rack, I've hunted pigs my whole life.
I've probably killed more pigs than any man in Greer County.
Is that so? - It's primal instincts.
I know how they eat. I know how they sleep.
I know their breeding habits.
I can talk to them if I need to. Heh-heh!
You can talk to pigs? - Yup.
Lonnie, you're full of pig shit.
Say what you want, Rack,
but I am a pig's worst nightmare.
The last thing a pig wants to see coming
is Lonnie Luther Freeman. - Luther?
Yeah. - That's your middle name? Luther?
Be careful.
You know what I did to the last guy
that made fun of my middle name?
What's that?
Not a whole lot. He's about 6'4", 250.
You know, we could always drive over to the Thirsty Monkey.
There's a lot of pigs over there.
No, Rack. You know, I'm done chasing women.
I got Becky, and I'm happy.
She don't complain about me,
and she don't mind me complaining about her.
You-all ever think about getting married?
Oh, she does, all the time.
You know, I'm just afraid if we did
she wouldn't be as inclined to take as good care of herself
as she does now, you know?
I mean, hell, you've seen her sister.
Ugh.
You gotta be at the table early at Thanksgiving
when she's around.
My Lord.
She did kinda swell up, didn't she?
Oh, like a eight-legged dog tick.
Hey, did, uh, Cammie ever come back?
No, I don't think she's coming back.
I think she's gone for good.
Aw. Oh, man. I'm sorry to hear about that.
Guess who is back in town. - Who?
Annie Streets. - My God,
she was hotter than donut grease back in high school.
She still is.
And I got a date with her tomorrow night.
You dog.
Well, if you're gonna keep her this time,
maybe you oughta try doing something a little different.
I'm gonna suggest not being yourself.
I do need to get my shit together.
You?
Yeah. - Huh. Heh-heh!
You want a beer?
If you're not gonna talk to me, Rack, just take me home.
What?
I had a nice time tonight.
Well, the night ain't over yet. Let's go for a walk.
Oh, I don't know, the streets of Altus, Oklahoma
could be pretty dangerous this time of night.
I'll take my chances.
Rack?
What?
Oh, I just wanted to apologize
for what Buck said to you the other day
and disrespecting your daddy like that.
Don't worry about that.
That stepdaddy of yours is a piece of work.
What'd your momma ever see in him anyway?
Heh! I don't know.
But I think at the beginning, she really did love him.
Then it became more about security
and making sure I was taken care of.
God bless her. How do you put up with him?
It's not easy.
If Momma didn't live there, I wouldn't need him.
So who's gonna take care of your momma
when you go back to Chicago?
Well, I'm not sure I'm going back.
What do you mean?
Momma needs me,
and I miss small-town life, Rack.
The big city's too fast for me.
I miss the people here. I miss the pace.
Heck, I even miss the Tasty Cream.
Believe it or not,
I kinda missed you too.
I missed you too, Annie.
I-I got you something. Heh-heh!
Yeah, um...
Here. Heh.
Where did you get that?
Dug it out of an old box yesterday.
Your daddy took it. I thought you might want it.
Remember our first date? Your old truck broke down,
and we had to walk all that way back in the rain.
Wow. Thanks, Annie. Golly, we were soaked.
I never thanked you for wearing that white T-shirt.
Those were good times, Rack.
Yes, they were. - Yeah.
Wow.
You've been practicing.
Well, you've been gone a long time.
Well, we should do this again.
Well, the night ain't over yet.
Well, what do you wanna do?
I don't know, maybe we'd...
go get a corn dog and go to my house?
Oh, Rack, you're so romantic.
Corn dog?
Well, I think I got her
fertilizing for you there--
There, Rack.
I appreciate you getting here on such short notice, Bob.
Ah, short notice, long notice,
it don't make no difference to me.
I ain't been-- I ain't been--
I ain't been too busy today, anyhow.
Well, I tell you. You plumbers sure are lifesavers.
Well, I'll tell you what,
I appreciate that, but you know what?
This job, it ain't, uh, what it's, uh--
It's cracked up to be. - Must be hard.
Bet it is. There are three things--
There is, uh-- Three things to, uh--
There are three things to be a plumber.
I'm talking about a good plumber.
What's that?
Shit runs downhill.
Don't chew your fingernails.
And payday is on Friday.
I believe that.
Hey, I'll see around. All right. - Okay, Rack.
Toodles. - Hello?
Buck Baker called the sheriff early this morning.
He was all upset.
Annie didn't come home.
We found her car out here, abandoned.
The car is clean, Rack.
The keys still in the ignition.
The purse is there with nothing missing.
Wasn't a robbery.
We don't have any witnesses.
Hey, Buck.
Levins, what are you doing here?
Just checking up on Buck, seeing how he's doing.
Can I talk to him? - Come on in.
Rack.
Buck, what can you tell me about Annie?
Well, she left about 6:00 yesterday evening.
I haven't seen her since.
You guys heard anything?
Where she was last night? What she did?
Well, she was with me
last night. - She was with you?
Yeah, we went over
to Altus and saw a movie.
Well, where did she go after the movie?
Buck, she stayed the night at my house
and got up sometime early this morning and left.
You were the last one with her. - Yeah.
You'd think
if your daughter's screwing a cop,
at least she'd be safe.
You watch your mouth, Buck.
Rack, you gotta understand this don't look so good.
You were the last one to see her
before she disappeared.
You ain't sayin'-- - No.
Maybe you shouldn't be on this case.
I came over here 'cause I'm lookin' for Annie.
I think you've done enough, Rack, don't you?
Buck, I'll talk with the sheriff.
We'll find Annie.
I think it's time
for you to leave.
Jesus Christ.
You don't think I did this, do you?
Oh, hell no. Levins called. He thinks it's a problem.
You're not taking me off this.
It's about Annie. - I understand that.
We'll keep you in the loop.
But you cannot be seen out there
working on this case.
You understand that? We'll find her, all right?
Johnny Franks.
He's clean, sheriff.
He was at the Main Street Cafe all morning.
Talked to Barb and a few locals who were there.
His story checks out. - Sheriff?
This sounds important. You better punch up Line 2.
Sheriff Landry.
Bring my brother to the center of Market Square
in Santa Luna, Mexico.
Sundown, this Friday.
Once my brother is released,
you'll get the girl.
At one minute later, if I don't see my brother,
I'll assume you want me to kill her.
And I will.
Do you understand?
Yeah, I understand.
How do I contact you till then?
Oh, shit.
Wait, wait, wait. Rack. Hold on, Rack.
Hold him. Hold him.
Hold up. Stop.
Where do you think you're going? - Mexico.
You're not going to Mexico.
This is no small-town thug here.
This is bigger than us.
They got Annie.
Hey, I don't care about that right now.
You listen to me.
They could have Annie right here in this county,
and you wanna go down to Mexico and do something stupid.
You with me on this?
Yeah.
We'll let you know.
You take the afternoon off. Cool down.
# I need to see your face #
# Baby, I drove by your place #
# But you're still not there #
# I can't find you anywhere #
# One night was not enough #
# You've got this boy Crazy in love #
# And if I'm right #
# Yeah, baby, if I'm right #
# You might need a hero Tonight #
Lonnie.
Lonnie, there's someone at the door.
Ah. Tell 'em we're not here.
Lonnie, get up. - Wake up.
Get up.
Damn it, Becky. - Go answer the door.
It's 3 in the morning. Who's at the door?
I'm comin'.
Hold on.
Rack? - Lonnie, let's go.
Go where? Mexico. I'm gonna go get Annie.
You're not supposed to be workin' on this case.
Sheriff said. - You'll need that.
Where's your ammo? - Bottom drawer.
This is not a good idea. I'm tellin' you right now.
You gotta think about what you're doing.
Annie's down in Mexico, scared to death.
I'm not gonna wait on Landry to come up with a bullshit plan.
Where's the keys to Thunder?
No. We're not taking my truck. She's not even broke in yet.
Lonnie?
What's going on? - Hey, Beck.
Lonnie, let's go.
Honey, wait right here. I'll be right back. I promise.
Rack, why do we gotta take my truck?
You gonna wear those to Mexico?
Um. Ahem.
Becky got these for me for Valentime's Day.
They come with a matching tank top.
It just looks too ridiculous.
Well, they're real nice.
Let me get my stuff.
Oh, no. You're not bringing that stupid mutt with us.
Police dog.
I don't believe this.
Oh, Jesus, Skunk! You scared the shit out of me.
Morning, Skunk.
Dead man. That's what I am.
If you two and that Mexican don't kill me, Becky will.
So did you get everything? - Yeah.
Why do we gotta take my truck, anyway?
'Cause they won't be looking for your truck.
What are we doing? - First, we're gonna go get Tito.
Great. How we gonna pull that off?
Well, who's working the graveyard shift
down at the jail tonight?
Peabody. So what?
So, what happens to Peabody
when he eats too much sugar?
He gets sleepy.
Four bear claws. - Yeah.
Four éclairs, couple of them cinnamon rolls--
Can I get
two of those chocolatey, twisty deals
with the sprinkles on top?
I love those. Heh.
Skunk, you--? You want anything?
What? I'm hungry.
Now, what was that you said you wanted?
Hey, Peabody. - Oh, hey.
Hey, Lonnie.
What are you doin' down here this late?
Oh, I was just in the neighborhood,
and I thought I'd come by and bring you some donuts,
you know, since it's your birthday and all.
It ain't my birthday.
Well, then Merry Christmas.
Well, it's March. - Hell, Peabody.
I brought you donuts. Can't a fella bring a friend donuts?
Okay, all right.
All right.
Well...
Well? Well, what?
I don't really care much for bear claws.
Hey, do you have any of them chocolatey, twisty deals
with the sprinkles on top?
I really love those.
Is he asleep?
Like a big fat baby.
Wake up.
Get your ugly ass up. Let's go.
Where are we going?
Mexico.
Come on, Junior.
There you go, buddy. There you go.
Hey, Lonnie. - Yeah?
Get that windshield. I'm gonna go and pay for this fuel.
Okay.
Do you want a coffee, Skunk?
Hi, handsome.
Me?
You like to have a good time?
Yeah. Heh.
I'm Harveyetta.
I'm Lonnie. Heh.
Who's that dude in the back seat, huh?
Oh, that's my prisoner.
I'll be your prisoner.
Well, he's a real prisoner.
He's Tito Garza. He's Manny Garza's brother.
He's wanted by the FBI. He's a big drug-warhead fella.
He kidnapped Rack's girlfriend. Now he's in the store.
They're not like boyfriend or girlfriend or anything.
They, uh-- Uh, we got till sundown Friday.
We're gonna trade him for Annie. She lives in Chicago.
Oh. Ha-ha.
Well, that's so...
hot.
So that's, uh, two coffees and, uh...
Freeze, Snow White!
This is a hold up. Give me the cash.
What are you looking at, pilgrim?
Ease up there, Casper.
All right now, nobody moves and nobody gets hurt, all right?
Now, you open that register
and you give me the money right now.
Don't give him jack. We got two coffees--
You wanna get shot?
How are you gonna shoot me?
You got your safety on?
Sorry about that.
Throw that away before somebody gets hurt.
Um,
it's--
That's, uh--
That's $75 even.
Heh. I'll be damned.
Two coffees and a fill-up, 75 even.
What are the chances of that happening?
I wonder if a sweet little old girl like me
could hitch a ride to the next truck stop
with a big, strong lawman like you?
Well, I reckon we could. I--
I mean, I'm gonna need to ask Rack.
Nope.
Hey, Rack. Hey, listen, uh, this is Harveyetta.
She was, uh-- She was wantin' to know if she could catch a ride
to the next truck stop.
Let the hooker go and get in the truck.
Hooker? Rack, she ain't a hooker. Heh.
She's a good Christian woman.
She's got a nice cross necklace on.
I told you that was a nice rack necklace.
I mean, a nice, you know.
By God, I believe you're right, Lonnie.
She is a good Christian woman.
Mm-hm. - But she's not goin'.
Now get in the truck.
Rack.
Well, but--
Sorry, Harveyetta.
Hey, where's Tito?
He was in the back seat. He-- He couldn't have--
Damn it, Lonnie. I told you to watch him.
You goin' fishin', Tito?
Hurts like hell, don't it?
You got him? Get him in there.
Tito.
What? - Come here.
You try that crap again,
I'm gonna duct tape your ass to the bumper.
Oh, my Lord.
This better be good.
Sheriff, he's gone.
Yeah, I don't know where they went.
# Love Talk with Lea #
You are listening to Love Talk with Lea.
We are mending hearts from coast to coast tonight.
Our first caller is from Levelland, Texas.
His name is Danny.
Hi, Danny. Who you loving tonight?
Well, I'm loving my beautiful wife, Debbie, Lea.
Well, tell us all about Debbie, Danny.
Well, we've been married for 17 years, Lea,
and there were times when I doubted our love
and I took her for granted,
till three years ago when I had the accident on the farm.
I woke up in the hospital and both my arms were gone.
The first thing I thought that went through my head
was I'd never be able to hug my wife again.
And the second thought was how was I gonna play catch
with my little boy.
And the third thought that was probably the most devastating
was how would I defend myself if someone was tickling me.
Can I come in?
I'm freezing my tits off out here.
The hell is she doin' here?
Hey, Harveyetta.
Just had enough of that damn hooker, didn't you?
See what you did? This is all on you.
Hey, Harveyetta. - Howdy.
Now you march yourself right around there
and you drive a little while.
Well, come on. Let's roll.
And you, young lady, you're getting off the next truck stop.
You understand me?
I've brought you some food, my dear.
I wouldn't want your boyfriend to think
I wasn't taking care of you.
I don't like being insulted.
Your boyfriend insulted me.
He took someone that was very important to me.
He took my brother.
Let me show you something.
Francisco.
This is Pedro.
Pedro,
you took something from me, didn't you?
Manuel, please.
Tell her what you took.
No, I swear, I took nothing.
That's not true, Pedro.
I gave you a package to deliver.
You were supposed to get money for the package
and bring it back to me.
But you kept the money for yourself.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Manuel.
It's okay.
It's okay, perdido.
I don't like it when people takes things from me.
Idiota.
He's bleeding all over the rug!
Annie, good help is so hard to find these days.
What is that God-awful smell?
Oh, that's Junior. Something big's about to happen.
Who's Junior?
He's my police dog back there.
Hey, baby.
Follow us. # Show them to me #
I love you.
# Unclasp your bra Set those puppies free #
# They'd look A whole lot better #
# Without that sweater #
# Baby, I'm sure you'll agree #
# If you got two fun bags #
# Show them to me #
Well, it can't be that hard to find them.
Now, I gotta have Tito Gaza in Oklahoma City on Saturday
or it is someone's ass.
Now you find them, damn it.
Jeez.
Well, this is just great, Rack.
What took me two years to rebuild,
took us one day to screw up.
Took you one hour to screw it up.
I knew we shouldn't have taken my truck. I knew it.
Well, you brought us out here now, and got us in trouble.
A busted radiator in the middle of nowhere.
Uh, fellas.
Heh. Will somebody get the Mexican?
I said get him. Don't kill him.
Look like somebody's comin' up.
Let's see if we can get him to help.
Y'all need any help?
Yeah, man.
Where's the closest gas station?
About 75 miles, I think.
Damn.
I'll push you all down there about 30 minutes.
I got a campsite. Got a good mechanic down there.
I appreciate that, old-timer. We're in a hell of a hurry.
Damn.
So, uh, this girlfriend of yours,
she means a lot you, huh?
Who told you I got a girlfriend?
Lonnie, you got a big mouth.
Aw. - Sorry.
It's like a romantic fairy tale.
Rack, the white knight,
sweeping in to save the princess.
What do you know about white knights and fairy tales
in your line of work?
Well, I-I reckon I made plenty of fantasies come true.
Yeah. Had your hand in a lot of happy endings, huh?
I wrote me a poem down.
Now, if I ever met my fantasy guy--? Okay?
--I'd want him to say something like this:
All right.
When the sun don't rise and the wind don't blow
And the seas have left the shore
I promise, my dearest With my dying breath
To love you forevermore
A man ever says something like that to me, he'd own my soul.
Harveyetta,
that is the stupidest shit I've ever heard in my life.
Hey, a gal can dream, can't she?
I come a long way from Sweetwater
to find my white knight.
Yeah, one truck stop at a time.
You love this girl of yours?
I've always loved her.
You gonna marry her?
Yeah, maybe someday.
A boy can dream, can't he?
Here we are, folks.
Yeah, it's right over there, what I saw.
Hey.
I'm Charlie.
What kind of horseshit you got going on here, Charlie?
This is like our down season,
you know, we're traveling show folks.
Why don't you fix that radiator
and show us how to travel the hell out of here.
This the rig you called me about, Charlie?
Hey, this is Jeff.
He can fix any kind of vehicle you got.
Mm.
Handsome and handy, huh?
That's what my wife says.
Oh, look, a monkey.
What do you think?
What's the chance of getting it running?
In a hell of a hurry.
Hi. - Well...
You boys cops or something?
Yeah, Jeff. Come here, man.
I need a little chat with you.
I gotta get that guy back there to Santa Luna, Mexico,
like, pronto, or there's gonna
be some really bad stuff go down.
So you think you can get me running?
Yeah, man. I'll get you running in about four, five hours.
That's great.
The thing is, we just need to find a radiator.
But I guarantee there's one here. Follow me.
You gotta be shitting me.
She got a shot by a security guard at the bank
and she bled to death in my arms.
That is so...
hot.
Yeah. Yeah, you're my kind of girl. All right.
We wanna welcome our new friends here.
Is everybody sharing
a cup of circus jolly?
Jolly.
We make kids laugh,
we make kids cry.
That's what we'll do till the day we die.
If you love us, you can fill your glasses,
and if you don't,
you can kiss our asses. - Kiss our asses.
Jolly.
Rack, this stuff's pretty good.
That's elephant piss.
Just kidding. Horse piss. Kidding.
Gene's Gypsy wine.
You know our toasts around here are kind of a family thing
even though we're not kin.
That's old Sniper Sam over there from Vietnam.
Been a carny for 35 years. He's a sharpshooter.
He was the best man at both my weddings.
And you remember Two Ton Tina over there.
Oh, she's friendly. She's a hugger.
Oh, Rack.
Ladies and gentlemen.
direct your attention to the center stage,
where I, Merriweather the Magnificent--
--will attempt an amazing feat
that I have been practicing for months
with piss-poor results.
In my quest to become the most daring illusionist of our time,
my bravery is matched only by my blind stupidity.
Ah.
Isn't that dangerous, Charlie?
Danger is often just an illusion created in our minds.
But when danger becomes a reality,
it must be met head-on.
With an illusion.
All right, little fellow.
What's wrong, Lonnie?
Lost my watch.
It's...
twelve-thirty.
That's my watch.
He took my watch.
Sit down, Lonnie.
Give me my watch, you shakey old son of a bitch.
You saying I took your watch?
No, Sam.
I-I think I left my watch at the truck stop.
My mistake.
Oh, it's no mistake, mister.
Gotcha! Just kidding, pard.
There you go, Rack.
You got her fixed?
Good as new.
All right, man.
You're the best.
Jeff, we'll see you, buddy. - See you.
Hey, old Charlie boy gave me a big old jug
of the circus jolly last night.
Yeah? - I like it.
Hey, wait. We forgot Harveyetta.
No, your girlfriend's staying.
Hooker.
Sixty-two miles to showdown.
I can't wait that long.
You gotta pull over. I gotta pee.
We just left 35 minutes ago. You can't hold it?
The circus jolly is running right through me. Pull over.
Jesus Christ, Lonnie.
Use that cup.
Look, I don't know about you, but it takes two hands
to wrangle what I got.
Would you like to hold the cup for me?
Oh. Ooh.
Hey, fellas.
Oh-h-h-h.
Oh. Oh.
If this thing didn't have a hole at the end of it,
it'd look like a football right now.
They got great acoustics in here, Rack.
# You know you make me wanna-- #
Cigarettes will kill you, man.
# Now, wai-ai-ait a minute #
# Hm-hm #
# You know you make me Wanna shout #
# Kick my heels up and shout #
# Throw my hands up and-- # # Shout #
# Throw my head back and-- # # Shout #
# Come on, now # # Shout #
# Don't forget to say you will # # Shout #
# Don't forget to say, ye-ah #
# Shout Say you will #
# Say it right now, baby # # Say you will #
# Come on, come on #
# Say you will # # Say that you-hoo-hoo #
# Say you will #
# Say # # Say that you love me #
# Say # # Say that you need me #
# Say # # Say that you want me #
# Say # # You wanna please me #
# Say # # Come on, now #
# Say. Say # # Come on, now #
# I want you to know #
# I said I want you To know right now #
# You've been good to me, baby #
# Better than I been to myself Hey, hey #
Come on, man.
# A little bit softer now # # Shout #
# A little bit louder now # # Shout #
# A little bit louder now #
# Hey-yay-yay-yay #
# Hey-ey-ey-ey # # Hey-ey-ey-ey #
# Hey-yeah-yay-yay # # Hey-yeah-yay-yay #
I really like it here, Rack.
They got some really friendly people down here.
Do you think we could come back when we're not working?
# Well, how did I Wind up down here #
# In Mexico... #
Okay, guys, let's try to be as inconspicuous as possible.
La puerta: The door.
Tengo gusto: I like.
Queso: Cheese.
Taengo gusto del queso.
I like cheese.
Tengo gusto del queso. Ha.
How about that shit, Rack? I like cheese.
You know what I'd like? I'd like for you to give me time
to think here for a minute.
You know what Rack?
If we're gonna blend in, we need to know these stuff.
I can't help it that you're gonna be at a disadvantage
because you don't know Spanish.
Not right now, little buddy.
Hey, kid, do you speak English?
No comprenda.
Are you sure you don't speak English?
A little. - Yeah.
What's your name? - Chico.
Chico, good.
You know who this guy is?
No, señor.
Manuel Garza.
You know Manuel Garza?
Si, señor. Gato Diablo. No bueno.
Hey, you're telling me "No bueno."
You wanna make $50?
Si. - Yeah?
Si, señor. - All right,
You wait right here, okay?
Lonnie, write your cell phone number down on a paper.
Oh, yeah, right.
My truck, my piece of paper,
my cell phone number.
Give me that damn necklace.
Hey, Chico. Come here, bud.
All right.
You make sure Gato Diablo gets this, okay?
Si, señor.
Señor.
I hope many beautiful women come to your funeral.
Hey, Skunk, keep an eye on Tito.
That kid's a really fast runner. What are we gonna do?
Let's go in this cantina and wait on his call.
Señor Gato, Señor Gato.
Stop that boy.
Whoo!
That is margarita.
I believe, that's the biggest margarita I've ever drank.
They do not mess around in Mexico, I tell you what.
You think he's gonna call?
He'll call.
Look at that donkey's ass hanging off the wall over there.
Somebody mounted the wrong end of that thing.
I bet if we walk around the other side of the building,
it'll just be stick--
Y'ello.
Yo.
Oh, Mr. Deputy.
Are you enjoying your stay
in beautiful Mexico?
I've lost my sense of humor, where's Annie?
No, no, no. Not to worry.
We are taking great pleasure in caring for her.
You touch her and I'll kill you.
It's not her I want.
It's you.
You bring Annie to Rusty's Cantina.
Rusty's Cantina, huh?
Good margaritas.
Okey-dokey, Mr. Smokey.
I'll meet you at sundown.
Bring my brother if you want to see her alive.
Let's go.
Burn him.
Your boyfriend. He sounds like a very nice guy.
I look forward to our meeting.
I was wondering, do you think I should wear this or this?
I think I will bring them both.
Some really scary-looking guys down there.
Hey. What are you doing?
I'm blending in.
Well, you look ridiculous.
And he doesn't?
It's showtime, boys. They're pulling in.
What do you see? About eight or 10 of them.
There's Manuel,
and they've got Annie.
There's Johnny Franks.
I knew that bastard had something to do with this.
Get that Mexican in the truck.
I knew I should have brought a suitcase.
Lonnie.
What? - Forget the sombrero.
Rack, I paid 8 bucks for this. I've always wanted one.
Besides, right now it's a disguise.
But later it's a souvenir.
Hold that, give me the hat,
put all this stuff in a bag and let's go, okay?
And bring a pillowcase with you.
Pillowcase...
Remember, when Tito is inside, lock the doors.
Welcome, Mr. Deputy. I see you're right on time.
Where is Annie?
What is the rush? Sit down.
Have a drink.
I don't drink with assholes.
Tell me, what is keeping me from killing you right now?
That was a perfectly good donkey's ass.
Ready to deal?
Take your big gun away
from the head of my brother and release him.
First, where's Annie?
Right here, Rack.
Buck?
How did you get involved in this bullshit?
Bullshit?
Well, I don't mean to toot my own horn,
but United Farm Enterprises
is home to the biggest meth lab in Oklahoma.
I provide the land and the buildings.
And me, the manpower and the distribution.
I see you're in bed with that damn DA, huh.
Levin? Oh, he's no problem.
Give him a little whiskey and some cash,
couple of fat Mexican whores, he's happy as a pig in shit.
No offense there, Manny.
They're not all fat.
So you see, pretty simple.
I don't need a Deputy-Do-Right and his girlfriend
prowling around my ranch making things complicated.
Let her go, Buck.
First, release my brother.
Danger is often
just an illusion created in our minds.
When danger becomes a reality,
it must be met head-on.
With an illusion. What?
Tito, are you okay?
La puerta. The door.
The door?
Tengo gusto del quesa.
You taste like cheese?
Hi, everybody.
What have you done with my brother?
Holy crap.
Annie.
Rack.
Lonnie, cover me.
Have you no pride, Santo? Get up and fight!
Cover me.
Watch the suit, man.
Whose idea was it to lock this door?
Manuel?
What did you do to my brother?
Oh, crap.
I'm going to enjoy this.
Junior.
Let her go, Buck.
Sorry, son.
We've got to play this thing out right now.
You'd kill your own daughter?
Stepdaughter ain't blood.
You know, you should never have come back, honey.
Your momma's gonna be okay.
With all that goofy juice I've been feeding her,
she won't remember her own name next week.
You son of a bitch.
That's it, Johnny.
Send him to hell.
Right destination, wrong passenger.
What?
I don't believe we've met. Agent Levon Spurlock, FBI.
What? Three years undercover, Buck.
Glad to finally see you go down.
Here, brother. I owe you one.
It's gonna be okay. I got you.
You all right, baby?
I am now.
Hey, Rack.
You know, these boots are nice.
You can't find these Mexican silver wing tips in Oklahoma.
Hey, Johnny. Hey, Annie.
Hi, Lonnie.
Meet Agent Levon Spurlock.
Hey, I'm Lonnie.
Nice to meet you.
Look at Junior.
He put the kick-ass smack down on Tito.
Good dog, Junior.
Police dog.
Manuel Garza, the strong-arm leader
of one of Mexico's largest drug cartels
was incarcerated earlier today in Oklahoma City.
He and his brother Tito Garza
has been the subject of a five-year
undercover FBI investigation--
Hey. Hey, look at that. Look at the TV.
An FBI spokesman told the reporters
that the pair had financed a large--
Hey, ain't that Johnny Franks?
I'd say he is.
Rack, it's the sheriff calling. You want me to answer it?
Hell, no. If he's gonna fire me, he's gonna fire me to my face.
Let's go in here and have a beer, man.
Looks real quiet tonight.
Home sweet home, Lonnie.
Nice stuff there, Rack.
There you go, Rack. What's up, brother?
I love it. Why you--
I missed you, baby girl. Look what I got you.
Oh, Lonnie... - Got all your favorite colors.
Oh, I love it, I love it, I love it.
Oh, I love you. I--
Hey, Jake, how about some shot glasses over here?
Good to see you, Annie. You okay?
Yeah.
And I wanted to say
thank you so much for sending this posse
to come and get me. - Mm-hm.
Disobeying orders,
kidnapping a federal prisoner,
illegal transfer of said prisoner across state line,
unauthorized transport
and use of firearms in a foreign country.
Am I missing anything?
Yup, yup, you are.
Uh, not answering the department issued phone when you called.
I ought to kick your collective asses right here and right now.
Give me one good reason why I don't lock you up.
'Cause it's time for a toast.
Skunk, what is this?
Circus jolly.
Rack, Skunk said, "Circus jolly."
Skunk, you have a beautiful speaking voice.
Well, let's hear it.
Whiskey for my men.
Beer for my horses.
Oh, boy.
That's circus jolly, sheriff.
Yeah, well, it tastes like elephant piss.
# I'm on haystack kicking back Three bails high #
# A flat bed stage And a full moon light #
# Party on the farm All night long #
# With the moon shine flowin' Till the break of dawn #
Hey, Annie.
Baby, I got something I got to tell you.
When the sun don't rise And the winds don't blow
And the seas Have left the shore
I promise my dearest With my dying breath
To love you forevermore.
Rack, that's the stupidest shit I ever heard.
Did you rip that out of a Hallmark card
from the drugstore over in Mangum?
No, baby, I got it from Harveyetta,
a hooker from Sweetwater.
# Twelve gauge Underneath the seat #
# Gonna raise a little hell To a down on beat #
Rack.
Junior just farted. Something big's about to happen.
# It's off the hillbilly hook Off the redneck chain #
# Join the rebel revolution It's a runaway train #
# We're country boys and girls Take a real good look #
# We're going to show You how to rock it #
# Off the hillbilly hook #
# Get up, get up #
# Yeah, yeah #
# Get up, get up #
# Oh-oh-oh #
# Get up, get up #
# Well, a man come on The six o'clock news #
# Says somebody been shot Somebody's been abused #
# Somebody blew up a building Somebody stole a car #
# Somebody got away Somebody didn't get too far #
# Yeah #
# They didn't get too far #
# Grandpappy told my pappy "Back in my day, son #
# A man had to answer for The wicked that he'd done" #
# Take all the rope in Texas Find a tall oak tree #
# Round up all of them bad boys Hang 'em high in the street #
# For all the people to see #
# That justice is one thing You should always find #
# You got to saddle Up your boys #
# You got to draw A hard line #
# When the gun smoke settles We'll sing a victory tune #
# And we'll all meet back At the local saloon #
# We'll raise up our glasses Against evil forces, singing: #
# "Whiskey for my men #
# Beer for my horses" #
# We got too many gangsters Doing dirty deeds #
# Too much corruption And crime in the streets #
# It's time the long arm Of the law #
# Put a few more In the ground #
# Send them all to their maker And he'll settle them down #
# You can bet He'll set 'em down #
# 'Cause justice is one thing You should always find #
# You gotta saddle up Your boys #
# You gotta draw a hard line #
# When the gun smoke settles We'll sing a victory tune #
# And we'll all meet back at The local saloon #
# And we'll raise up Our glasses #
# Against evil forces Singing: #
# "Whiskey for my men Beer for my horses" #