come on, baby. Oh, yeah.
Fisherman-- winner, hero.
How does it feel to be bill dugan?
Wonderful. but I'd just like
to thank god
and my sponsors--Hooters,
Jack Daniel's, coors light,
Miller light, and Heineken.
Wow. you're amazing.
I'm humbled to be in your presence.
[Static]
[Alarm clock]
[Radio program playing]
Good morning, sweetheart.
No.
Come on.
I thought you were going fishing.
Fishing!
[Whistling]
Come on, Scott. Let's go, son.
The fish are waiting.
Dang it.
It's your loss.
Yeah! hey!
Hey, hey! Hey, what are you doing?
Hey, hey!
Come on!
This ain't spring break.
Aah!
[Horn blares]
Aah!
Jerk!
I wonder what they're opening over there.
Hopefully, it's one of those massage parlors.
At your age?
Ha ha ha!
You're late.
Were you out fishing?
No. I was running late,
so I showered with my clothes on.
Nothing gets by you, Gus.
Bill, call the cops.
It looks like some punks broke in
and busted the place up.
Wait a minute.
Nope. this is how it always looks.
Ha ha!
[Coughs]
[Mock laughter]
If you hacked up a lung, Melvin,
I ain't cleaning it up.
Another day in paradise.
[Chuckles]
Good morning, boys. Good morning, bill.
What's good about it?
I see you're your usual chipper self.
Do you have a minute to talk about the new summer menu?
I want to add chili.
You know what? This ain't a chili store.
It's not a hat shop. We don't sell shoes or books
or even those little tubes of toothpaste.
It's a bait shop.
Whatever. I already done it anyway.
Does no one listen to me around here?
Huh? you say something, bill? Ha ha!
[Mock laugh]
By the way, your father-in-law dropped by yesterday.
[Clang]
He did?
The mattress king.
"He'll help you sleep like royalty."
A great guy.
Bill: yeah, that great guy
wants me to sell the bait shop and...
[Deep voice] Get a real job!
[Normal voice] So I can give his little Princess
the life she deserves.
He was complaining about the rotted boards out on the dock.
Well, maybe odd job could take a look at it
if he ever decides to show up.
Oh, what are you doing?
Good morning, boss.
You're a handyman.
It's not a requirement that you live here.
I have to.
You see, my living situation has sort of become...
Untenable.
I thought you were staying with Shirley.
Oh, I was. It turned out she's married.
It wasn't a big deal to me, but her husband was
none too happy to come home and find me.
Bill: I'll bet.
It didn't look like the 5 years in prison rehabilitated him
one bit.
It looks like you need some coffee.
When you get done, get out back and fix that dock.
Oh, no can do.
I have had one heck of a morning.
I hope you're charging him for that thing.
I'm trying to run a business here.
Hey, bill. Hey.
I don't suppose you got any money to pay for those.
Just put it on my tab.
What tab?
Well, if I had any money,
I'd be in a decent establishment.
I mean, who drinks beer in a bait shop?
Anyway, I come bearing intelligence
about your new neighbor.
You're talking about the massage parlor?
That's what they'd like you to think.
That is actually a front for a fema black op.
No, and I have it on good authority
that halliburton's hurricane machine is headed our way.
Is that right?
Hi, Roy.
You got time for a cup of coffee this morning?
Roy: sorry.
The mail can't wait.
Now, you know the government reads
all your mail, right?
Then they reseal envelopes in Tijuana.
Tijuana, Mexico.
That's how them Jack-booted government lackeys
stay in power.
I love a man in uniform.
Mm mm mm mm mm!
You'd love a man in anything.
Bill! ha ha!
What are you laughing at?
There you go, fellas.
Good luck on the lake today.
Gus: that witch. I told you she was no good.
Hey, guys!
What have I told you about keeping your voices down
when you're watching soap operas?
Sorry, bill.
It's just that Rebecca just left her comatose husband.
And now she's sleeping with Dr. McCarthy.
Isn't she Dr. McCarthy's sister?
Ok. you know what?
This is a bait shop.
We should be watching sports.
There's got to be a game on or something.
Oh, look, look, look.
It's paradise lake.
Well, ain't that a coincidence.
That's the same name as our lake.
There's no such thing as coincidence.
Shut up, you idiots. I want to hear this.
TV: we're at the paradise lake invitational,
one of the premier events
on the pro bassmasters' tour.
It's the best fishermen in America competing
for a $50,000 prize.
And as usual, all eyes will be on bass fishing's reigning bad boy,
hot rod Johnson.
Blessed with a surgeon's skill
and the mentality of an assassin,
hot rod is quite simply the greatest bass fisherman in the world today.
Part showman, part samurai,
h.r.j. is that new breed of pro athlete
that works hard but parties harder.
More than just a man,
this American original knows only one way to live,
on the edge.
[Turns off TV]
He is the man.
Are you kidding me?
He is everything that is wrong with fishing today.
Right. we should kill him, bill. Who's with me?
Bill: as I was saying,
this sport is all about man versus fish.
Technology has taken all the skill out of it.
Echo sounders, g.P.S. Units.
I'd like to see how good he is without all those gizmos.
Oh, come on, bill. He is good.
Please! hot rod Johnson is a joke, a real fraud.
If he ever steps foot in this store,
I'll tell him that right to his sorry face.
What?
He's in the store, isn't he?
Oh, hey. Help you?
That's the great thing about living in the good old U.S. of a., guys.
Everybody's entitled to their own opinion,
even if they're wrong.
[Laughter]
Hot rod Johnson reporting for duty.
Good American and fishing icon.
I'm a tremendous fan, Mr. Johnson.
You're a personal hero of mine.
I get that all the time.
And, please, call me hot rod.
Heh heh!
Ah, listen, that whole...
[Chuckles nervously]
You know, I didn't know you were...
No need to apologize. Ok.
Hot rod don't need everybody to love him.
[Laughter]
You know what I'm gonna do?
After I win this tournament,
I'm gonna stop in, you can buy an autographed photo.
Odd job: Hey!
You could hang that up
next to your trophies, bill.
Yeah. oh, look at those.
[Low whistle]
Not bad...
For an amateur.
Hey, why don't you get busy and load a case of that beer
in the back of my boat?
Hot rod's got to go sign some autographs, ok?
That...
Is a great guy.
Are you kidding? He's gorgeous.
He's even better-looking in person.
[Imitating gus] He's even better-looking in person.
Hot rod Johnson.
[Imitating hot rod] Great American hero, fishing icon.
Son of a...
She's a beauty, ain't she?
Whoa. looks like your shop's where boats come to die.
A little advice from a pro.
Taking care of your equipment is
an integral part of championship bass fishing.
[All speaking excitedly]
[Clears throat]
Now, that was exciting.
A real celebrity here in the store.
Yeah. I almost fainted.
Junk, junk, junk.
Bill. bank?
I wonder what they want.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I don't believe it!
What is it?
Paradise trust bank, they owe me $15,000.
Can you believe it? Oh, my gosh!
I'm gonna buy a new truck,
a truck with a c--
uh, bill, this says you owe the bank $15,000.
No, it doesn't. It says right there.
No, no. It says you owe
a $15,000 balloon payment on the mortgage.
It's due in one week.
A week? But I was gonna buy a new truck.
Oh, my goodness.
Does Laura know about this?
Laura?
You know what?
In every man's life, there comes a day
when he is faced with great adversity.
And the best way for him to deal with it is
just to go to the ones he loves and lie to them.
What she don't know won't hurt her.
Bill!
How about giving me a hand?
Oh, very funny.
I'm bored.
Well, I've got the cure for that.
Tomorrow you're gonna start your job down at the bait shop.
Mom! no arguments.
You're not laying around this house all summer.
Besides, I think it's important for a young man
to spend time with his father,
learning from a positive male role model.
Did somebody say "positive male role model"?
Grandpa! hey, kiddo!
Xbox. and i know how you love your video games.
Thanks, grandpa. This is awesome.
Daddy, please stop spoiling him.
If I don't, who will?
I'm gonna lose the bait shop.
Do you want a beer?
Did you hear what I said?
Yeah, I heard you. So what's the problem?
The problem is I owe the bank $15,000.
Boy, that's a lot of money.
I'm glad I'm out of that business.
That bait shop was always a pain in my rear end.
You might have mentioned that to me before i bought the place.
Shoot. it wasn't all that bad.
I got a lot of women because of that place.
Total chick magnet.
But I doubt that notice
was the first one you got from the bank.
No. there was one or two...
Or 12.
I just figured business would pick up
and I'd be able to handle it.
That's quite a problem.
I know. That's why I'm here, buddy.
You've always been my friend,
my mentor, my Yoda.
What?
Nothing.
Buddy, can i borrow $15,000?
You give a man a fish and he'll eat all day.
You teach him to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime.
Yeah. that's right.
So when can I get the money?
I'm not gonna give you the money, bill.
How's Laura taking all this?
Oh, you know her. She's my rock.
Acts like there's nothing wrong...
You got to deal with it yourself, bill.
Like she doesn't know a thing.
So how was your day today?
Great. everything's great.
Couldn't be better.
So you're not gonna tell me the big news.
News?
There--there was no news,
particularly no bad news...
Or any good news either.
You know, no news is good news, right?
Really? because i ran into Betty in the supermarket.
You did?
Who would have thought that hot rod Johnson
would show up at the bait shop?
That must have been a thrill!
Oh, yeah, he's a real--
a real-life celebrity. Boy, that's exciting.
And he's hot.
Yeah. really exciting.
Honey, look, I got to talk to you.
I got a--
by the way, dad came by today.
Oh, great. All hail the mattress king. What did he want?
Don't worry. I told him to stop pushing you about that job offer.
I'm proud of you and what you've done with the bait shop.
You've built it up from nothing,
and that says a lot about your business skills.
Yeah. I'm really talented.
I know.
And I think it's great
that Scott's gonna be spending time with you down at the shop.
He's so excited.
He is?
This sucks.
Gus: ah, quit your whining, boy.
You don't know how good you have it.
Melvin: that's right. When I was your age, we...
Hey, who am i kidding?
I don't remember any of it.
Well, I do.
We didn't have the luxuries this punk takes for granted.
Didn't have no internot,
no cable TV, no computers.
Heck, growing up back then sucked.
Ah, there's my boy.
Ahh! the smell of fish detritus.
That wonderful aroma is unique to this business.
Nothing better than a father and his son working side by side, huh?
Yeah, how about a break?
We just got started.
Hey, you know what?
Maybe later on, I'll take you out on the lake,
and me and you will go catch some fish.
You know, dad, I've been thinking.
Maybe it's time you got yourself a new boat.
I've been reading up on the new xl series--
21 feet and fully loaded with a 250 engine, g.P.S.,
and an e.S. Echo sounder.
You see, son, that's the problem.
Technology is taking all the skill out of it.
You can't respect a bass with all these gizmos.
The real satisfaction comes
when you get that big bass
after you've worked really hard for it.
Hey, guys, the grand opening is starting.
How about we head over and see what the buzz is about?
Yeah! come on, dad.
Hey, bill...
Oh, hey, buddy, sorry. No change.
It's me--Dale. Deep cover.
Dale, get a grip. These people aren't fema, ok?
I know. It's a lot worse than that.
You see that guy up there?
Yeah.
I've had him under surveillance for a month,
and that is pure al qaeda.
Ha ha! Al qaeda?
That's Donnie rains, the weatherman from channel 8.
Open your eyes, bill.
That's exactly what osama wants you to think.
Boy, you do have a plate in your head, don't you?
So?
Hey. hey.
Hey. thanks, Betty.
I hope they're good neighbors.
Yeah.
This is beautiful,
not like your place, bill,
with all those rotted boards in back on the dock.
Of course, they do give your place a certain homey charm.
I got your charm right here.
Hello, paradise.
Hello!
Is everyone enjoying the festivities?
Here we go!
Donnie rains: That's great because we're just getting started.
So without further ado, let's bring out our guest of honor.
This is gonna be good.
Ladies and gentlemen, you know him. You love him.
You just can't live without him.
The hardest working man in bass fishing.
Give it up for hot rod Johnson!
Odd job: That's right! You know it.
Hot rod! Hot rod!
[Rock music playing]
It's really him. Cool.
Oh, my gosh. Hot rod Johnson's making out with my wife.
That's awesome!
[Applause]
Hot rod: Wow! Look at all the beautiful people.
Thank you, folks. Thank you.
What a jerk.
Shh! dad.
While great American heroes like myself are
constantly under attack,
I vow before you great citizens of paradise
to stand tall
because this is the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Ain't that right, America?
You are a true patriot, hot rod.
Now, what do you say we give these folks
what they came to see?
What kind of store do you think this is, bill?
Oh, you know these c-list celebrities.
They slap their name on anything.
Probably a tanning salon
or a yogurt shop.
...but not before we get a little help from this great crowd.
Oh, I think we can do that.
And...
All: 3, 2, 1.
[Crowd cheers]
Hot rod Johnson's pro fishing emporium,
the flagship store of my nationwide franchise.
Oh, dear!
It is beautiful.
Awesome.
No, it's not.
Can't be.
I--i won't let it.
Bill, are you ok?
[Weakly] uh-huh.
[Thud]
Hot rod: Folks, are you ready to go to the next plateau
with the ultimate bass fishing boats?
How about you, sir? Are you ready?
I--i guess so.
You guess?
The superior fishability of this boat is
a given.
After all, I drive one.
But its supreme performance truly is
what sets it apart from the competition.
Hey, listen, xl series, it's not for everybody.
But by gosh, it might just be for you.
My wife does need that surgery.
Man: ah, heck with it. I'll take it.
Good call. Sign him up.
Wow. that was incredible.
Hooked him like a big mouth bass.
Of course, if he can't afford it, I'll just repossess it.
So it's really a win-win situation for me.
Hot rod Johnson reporting for duty.
What's your name, little man?
Scott.
Scott, follow me. I'm gonna give you the grand tour.
Is he dead?
Everyone, stand back. Clear!
Oh!
Ohh! I just had the worst nightmare.
I dreamt that hot rod Johnson opened up
the biggest fishing store I'd ever seen right across the street.
Boy, that would have been the final nail in my coffin.
And that is hands down the greatest store i have ever seen.
It is heaven, pure heav--
[over P.A. in distance] And I got the winning ticket here--number...
And by "heaven," I mean a dump, dirty.
Probably got rats in there.
Just take it easy, bill.
Everything's gonna be ok.
Odd job: Well, sure it is.
Except for the mother of all fishing stores opening up across the street
and that 15 grand you owe the bank,
you got no problems to speak of.
They're your friends, bill.
I thought they could help.
Help? how?
By selling a kidney?
Why? you need a kidney?
Give me 12 hours.
Anybody here speak Spanish?
You know what?
He wants to mess with bill dugan? Fine.
Bring it on.
A little competition never hurt anybody.
That's the spirit, bill.
Yeah! it's always...
Darkest before the dawn.
That's right. That is exactly right.
My daddy didn't raise a quitter.
You know what? Look at this place.
It's worth more than 15 grand.
I put my blood, sweat, and tears into this shop.
I'm gonna go down to that bank,
I'm gonna force them to give me a deal.
They'll be sorry they ever heard the name bill dugan.
Dale: that's right. You go get 'em, killer.
Bill, bill, bill...
All: bill, bill, bill, bill!
Bill, bill!
Bill-- bi--
he ain't gonna get that money, is he?
Not a chance.
What do you think? Blue?
[Clock chimes]
You make no mistake. I don't care who they are.
They miss one more payment, they're out on the street.
Good morning, sir. How can I help you?
Uh, I'm a long-time customer of this bank,
and I just wondered, is there any way I can get a little wiggle room
on that balloon payment?
Oh, you mean like an extension?
Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, we don't do that here.
Well, come on, man.
There's got to be something we can do to ease this situation.
Personally, I find lap dances to be
a great stress reliever,
but as far as terms of the loan go,
it's pretty cut and dried.
We need our money.
Look, I've been a loyal customer of this bank for over 20 years.
So don't tell me there's nothing we can do--
Mr. dugan, please.
No, no. Don't give me that attitude.
Well, you know what? You're just a dancing chimp.
Go get your boss because I'm not leaving this bank
till I get some satisfaction.
Yeah, nice way to treat your customers.
Hey, you ain't robbing the place, are you?
No! making a deposit. Business is booming.
You sell bait.
No, you know what I do?
I service an exploding demographic.
Bass fishing is the fastest-growing sport in America.
Over 100,000 people a year visit paradise lake.
That's my customer base.
Over 300 million Americans sleep.
That's my customer base.
I'm raking it in.
I'd like to put you to sleep.
Idiot.
Hey, hey! He is the sultan of sleep.
Ah, ah! The mattress king.
You just missed your son-in-law.
Ah. tough break.
Problems?
[Indistinct P.A. announcements]
I feel kind of guilty,
like we're cheating on bill.
We're doing him a favor.
We're the inside men getting the lay of the land. Spies.
Knew that c.I.A. Fantasy camp would pay off.
This store ain't half bad.
What the heck are you wearing?
You look like a moron.
The rest room in this place blows bill's entire store away.
I can live in there.
Gus: hey, bill.
This is some weather we're having, huh?
Yeah, I guess.
Bill, you want me to go out and fix
those rotted boards?
Yeah, I guess.
Dale: hey, bill...
Do you advocate the overthrow of the United States government?
Yeah, I guess.
Well, this ain't good.
Betty: hey, fellas.
How did it go at the bank?
Not well.
Bill, I'm sorry.
It's over.
There's nothing i can do about it.
I'll probably have to move into a trailer across the track.
Laura and Scott will become migrant workers.
And obviously, I'm not gonna be able to work
because of that stress thing.
But what about these poor losers?
They look up to me.
Who are they gonna rally around when I'm not here?
Can a fella get a beer around here?
Buddy! hey, buddy!
I think they'll manage.
Good to see you. Long time, no see.
Thanks, Betty.
And that's when i said,
"that ain't a bass, darling.
And it'll cost you $25."
[Laughter]
Bill, did you figure out that thing we was talking about?
Yeah. 15 grand in a week is impossible.
Hey, I got it.
I just got an e-mail from a Nigerian prince
with an incredible business opportunity.
He just needs
our social security numbers to get started.
You are an idiot.
You know, i was thinking...
Oh, lord.
No, hear me out.
How about entering in the paradise lake invitational?
It's a pro tournament, you dope.
I'm not eligible.
Buddy: that's not exactly true, bill.
I founded that amateur tournament.
And when it turned pro, we made an agreement
it would be open to all former champions.
Bill, that makes you eligible.
And the grand prize for winning is $50,000.
Now, guys, guys, guys, I haven't fished competitively
in years.
Hey, it's like riding a bike, bill.
You were a 5-time champion.
It'd take a heck of a fisherman to beat you.
I'm the greatest fisherman in all the world, Scott.
It must be a real honor for you to hang out with me.
I suppose you love bass fishing.
It's ok.
"It's ok"?
Son, you see this Mercedes?
Paid for with bass fishing.
This watch? Bass fishing.
My monthly Botox injections?
Bass fishing.
Cool.
You dang right it's cool, son.
I tell you, you got to get with the hot rod rules of the road.
Rule number one-- money is the most important thing in life.
What about family and friends?
Oh, heck, man. You got money, you can buy those things.
Look, I like you, Scott.
And hot rod doesn't have any kids.
Well, he's got some, but his role is more financial in nature.
He's looking for a protã‰ge to follow in his footsteps.
You got any interest in the job?
Sure. what do i have to do?
Be here tomorrow at 6:00.
Later, tater.
Betty: maybe one of us should go in there.
It's been over an hour.
Ok, I just need some c-4 to blow the hinges off the door.
Leave him be.
Sometimes it's helpful for a man to lock himself in his closet
and have a good cry.
Odd job: It always helps me.
Melvin: I'd like to be the next to go in the crying room
if it's all right with y'all.
[Bill whistles]
What are y'all staring at?
We're just worried about you.
Bill: oh! Well, don't, my friends,
because I'm a man with a plan.
Odd job: So you're gonna do it?
You're gonna enter the tournament?
Oh, no. That's crazy.
Those guys are professionals. I'm an amateur.
I got no chance to win that cash.
You might if you killed a few of them.
Betty: Dale!
Laugh it up, but that's how miss Guatemala became miss universe.
See, I just needed some time to wrap it around in my head.
You know, look at the problem logically.
And then it hit me. It was so obvious,
I can't believe i didn't think of it before.
You want to let us in on this plan or what?
Yeah. I'm gonna take Scott's college fund, go to Vegas,
put it all on black.
[Bill chuckles]
Maybe red. No, definitely black.
Bill, that's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
Hey, dad. Hey.
What are you guys talking about?
Nothing.
Son, you may want to start looking into trade schools.
Let's go, son.
You know, son, it was just great spending time with you today.
Yeah, I know you don't think
your dad's the coolest guy in town,
but it wasn't so bad, was it?
Actually, I was thinking we could go to the bait shop
a bit early tomorrow, maybe around 6:00.
Really. no kidding.
Yeah, I mean, I'm starting to see
a whole different side of the fishing business.
That's great, son.
I didn't think
you'd ever take an interest in what I do.
It's good for a boy to have a positive male role model.
Hey, look! Grandpa's here.
Bill, weakly: Oh, great.
Oh, wow, dad! Come and check this out. See what grandpa got us.
I don't care what it is. We are not--no.
No. is it high def?
I am glad you like it.
Yeah, I was down at the store,
I got to thinking.
What's the use of having money unless you can buy things
for those you love?
I'll bet you're always surprising Scott and Laura
with expensive gifts, eh?
Yes, last week, I bought her an electric razor.
I have to tell you, i know I've been hard on you
about the bait shop and coming to work for me,
but today, i realized you're a great businessman.
I should just leave you alone.
You did?
I was thinking of making you a no-interest loan.
You could fix up things at the shop,
but I hear everything is so great,
you got it under control.
Well, thanks. Yeah. I--wait.
A loan?
Yeah. about 20,000 or so.
Then it hit me.
That would be an insult to a great entrepreneur like you are.
See you.
I meant to ask you, dad said he saw you at the bank today.
Yeah, yeah. I was down there.
I was trying to maximize our profits by investing in--
please. dad told me about the $15,000 we owe the bank!
How could you keep this from me?
Sweetie, I was gonna tell you when the time was right.
Sure. dad says that--
"oh, my dad says"! Enough with your dad.
Every day I'm at that bait shop busting my hump
just to try to keep it together.
And it'd be nice if I could get just a little support
around here.
[Tearfully] I've been supportive, and in turn, you lie to me.
Dad?
Yeah.
Mom said you lied to her.
Well, your mom and i had a little disagreement.
But I didn't lie.
Not exactly.
Maybe I withheld pertinent information
and presented certain facts in a way
to spin the story for my benefit
but only in a fashion that would prevent that marital discord.
So you lied.
Yeah. technically, yes, I lied.
But there were circumstances that you just--
you know what? When you get older, you'll understand.
Bill: today is our day.
Me and my boy spending a little time together.
Whatever you want to do today, son,
you name it.
Sure, dad. I'll see you in a little while.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where you going?
Um, I'm going to meet a friend. I'll be back later.
All right. I'll see you.
Gang, I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna enter that tournament,
and I am gonna win that $50,000.
Gus: all right. Good for you, bill.
Yeah, I started thinking about it.
I'm a good fisherman.
A little bit of practice, that prize money is
as good as mine.
He's finally cracked.
Sad. i heard that.
But that's ok, because my boy believes in me.
As long as my boy still believes in me,
there's no way I can lose.
* I want my mullet back
* back
* back, back
* yeah!
* all right!
* come on, y'all
you're the greatest fisherman in the world.
I know. I'll give you a little advice, Scotty.
Fishing is war.
You must be prepared both mentally and physically...
For your battle with the bass.
Climb aboard, son.
Hot rod's got something he wants to show you.
Hold my rod.
I got this baby customized.
It's all here.
Besides twin Mercury motors,
it's got cd, DVD, g.P.S., TiVo, wireless Internet,
and PlayStation one, 2, and 3.
It's the bomb.
Wow! "wow" is right.
Now, how about we take her out for a little spin
and get some fishing in?
Um, now?
I kind of have to go to work.
Work? work is for losers.
Hot rod's rules of the road number 11.
Always get someone else to do that for you.
Ok. let me just go tell my dad--boss
and I'll be right back.
[Sighs]
A 4-letter word--work.
Hey, dad.
Hey, son, you're just in time.
I'm just heading out on the lake.
Why don't you go grab your rod
and I'll teach you something?
Actually, I wanted to go fishing with a friend, if that's ok with you.
Oh. well, I thought you and I were gonna--
ah, you know what? Never mind.
Go ahead. Have some fun.
Thanks, dad. All right. See you.
Come on!
It might be time to upgrade to a bigger motor, don't you think?
No way. This little motor has served me
just fine.
Those big engines are overrated.
Hey, fix that dock.
Hoo-whee!
Rule number 9-- always have a big motor.
If you ain't got 225 horsepower, you ain't got nothing.
Isn't this a no-wake zone.
When you're rich and famous, rules do not apply.
Whoo-hoo!
Hey! oh, my...
Wind in your face. Now this is fishing!
Whoo-hoo! whoo-hoo!
Yeah!
Oh, no.
Come on.
Oh!
[Device beeping]
Hey, Scotty, just cast your line right over there.
Whoa.
Whoo! got it.
Motorola echo 2000.
Come on...
Ain't a bass in the world that can defeat sonar.
Yeah!
This is awesome.
Oh, you dang straight it's awesome.
Modern technology.
Some folks say it takes the skill out of fishing.
Me, I'd rather win.
Ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Whoo! let's get a picture of this baby.
Oh, yes! Come on, baby. Hee hee!
Oh, you're a beast.
Come here. Oh, don't break. Don't break. Don't--
there we--
well, it's official.
This is the worst day of my life.
[Cheering]
Yeah! yeah!
Over there, son.
Ha ha!
* like the way she lets it
* lets it show
* well, I like the way she lets it *
* let it roll
* if you need a man to roll with *
* baby, let me know
this is the greatest day of my life.
* na na da da da
wow. the guys at the plant are gonna freak
when they see this picture. Thanks, hot rod.
Sure. that'll be 5 bucks.
[Chuckles nervously]
Cough it up. Hot rod's got mouths to feed.
Oh, here he is-- paradise lake's favorite amateur fisherman.
Oh, don't tell me you came back empty-handed.
You don't just go out on the lake
and catch a bass on a whim.
It's a process. Ups and downs,
ebbs and flows, peaks and valleys.
Scott?
Hey, dad.
Hot rod: Hey, slow your roll here now.
Don't tell me this is your kid.
I thought he was just some homeless street urchin
in need of a little direction.
You want to tell me what the heck you're doing
hanging out with this pompous jerk?
Dad, you can't just come here like this.
Looks to me like he was catching himself
a boatload full of fish.
The boy's got talent.
That's why hot rod's made him his protã‰ge.
Come on, now. Let's head down to my store
and make us a couple protein smoothies.
Hey, he's not going anywhere with you.
Dad, you're embarrassing me!
This man stands for everything I'm against.
He's all style, no substance.
Style kicks substance's butt.
Hot rod rules of the road number 17.
Come on. Let's go.
Are you listening to me?
He is a bad influence, and I don't want you--
having any fun?
Hot rod: Oh, man! We did have fun, didn't we?
Whoo! come on. Let's go.
Get in that bait shop right now.
This is so lame. Hey!
Uh! ohh! Gah!
Oh, lookie there. It looks like style just gave substance
another swift kick in the butt.
But don't worry. Hot rod will give Scotty a ride home.
Dad, you ok?
Fine. just go.
Odd job!
[Horn honking]
You are not gonna believe what happened.
Scott is grounded for a month.
Oh, he is? Yeah.
When are you gonna fill me in
on how we're gonna come up with the money?
Relax about the money.
I got it all figured out.
I found a loophole that's gonna allow me
to exploit my talents
and enter the paradise lake tournament.
The 50 grand is good as mine.
See? don't you feel better?
Oh, come on.
Laura.
[Door knob will not turn]
You know what?
[Knock knock]
That's mature. Mm-hmm.
I sure have messed things up, haven't I, buddy?
Ha ha.
There's a blast from the past.
[Chuckling]
[Horns honking]
Read this! Catch a bass. Catch a bass.
Oh, oh! Hey! Whoa! Whoa!
Howdy doody!
Whoo! hey!
Fish or buy bait! Bill's bait shop.
Not interested.
Oh, up yours.
Hey, hey. Baby, we got a sale there at bill's bait shop.
A big sale.
Oh, I thought you worked for hot rod.
My husband loves that guy.
Hot rod? He's a creep.
Hey! we got a big sale at bill's bait shop.
Right here. Whoa! Whoa!
I don't fish.
You don't fish? What are you, a communist?
[Tires screech]
Well, what, you want a little piece of fish?
[Punch is thrown]
What are you, some kind of freak?
No, I'm not a freak. I'm a bass.
I'm a bass!
[Horn honks]
Oh, shut up.
Bill? ooh!
[Thud]
Man: oh, lord.
What? you never seen a bass in a bar before?
Hot rod: I've caught a few that big,
but never one quite that ugly.
Well, well, well.
If it ain't the great hot rod Johnson.
Everybody, everybody, bow your heads
and don't make direct eye contact
because he's not just a fisherman,
he's a real American hero.
Boy, you think you're just some kind of tough guy, don't you?
You better be careful, bill.
I've been known to bring the thunder.
Is that right?
Well, I been known to break the wind.
Dale: easy, easy, easy, fellas.
So you guys want to go a couple rounds?
Can't you guys just settle this like men?
That's a good idea.
How about a knife fight?
I got a better idea.
All right, everybody. Settle down.
See, the bet
is for $100.
Crowd: ooh!
Now, here's the deal.
I bet I can down my 3 beers
before old big mouth bill can down his 3 shots.
Oh! oh!
Bill: ha ha ha! Really?
Hup, hup. The only rule is you can't touch the other man's glass.
Ha ha. This is gonna be the easiest money i ever made.
You're about to be all mine.
We'll see about that.
All right.
On the count of 3.
1, 2, 3.
Man: go, hot rod. Come on.
Dale: that's one.
Woman: yeah!
[Bill chuckles]
Dale: let's go, bill.
There's two.
[Scattered applause]
Remember, bill, you can't touch my glass.
[Laughter]
Oh, baby, he got you, bill!
He is a god.
Hot rod: Well, bill,
I'm required by the state to inform you
that these hands are registered
as lethal weapons.
Son of a--
crowd: ooh!
[Yells]
[Crowd ohs]
[Thunder]
Ow!
Ohh!
[Vomits]
I feel like bill looks.
Then you must be in a world of pain.
Drink this.
You smell like a wino.
Well, I drank like one.
You need to shape up, bill.
The tournament starts tomorrow.
I'll be fine.
Where's odd job and Dale?
Um, I'm sure they're around.
Bill: oh, I see.
Like rats jumping off a sinking ship.
You know what? Who needs them?
It's not like that.
It's just that lately you've been a little bit hard to--
good morning.
Good morning, Roy.
You have time for a cup of coffee.
Oh, I don't think i can, Betty,
what with my rounds and all.
Oh, for the love of--
Roy, she's got the hots for you.
Why do you think she tries to give you a cup of coffee
every day? Duh.
Um, I'll see you guys later.
Bill?
I've never been so embarrassed
in my entire life. How could you!
Ooh! oh, Betty, come on.
It's not that--
good morning, boys.
Oh, great. Who knew Satan fished?
It was quite a spectacle
you made of yourself last night.
They're e-mailing this picture around down at the store.
Oh, Jack, this really is not a good day for this.
I've come to give you the 15 grand.
I'm listening.
So you'll take my money?
Normally, no way.
But I need to save my shop.
Save your shop? No, no. This is to pay off the bank.
I'm gonna sell this place to hot rod.
What?!
Yeah. his name on the bait shop,
a surefire money maker.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What about me?
Well, you can come work for me and sell mattresses.
Face it. Where the hell else are you gonna get the money?
Want a beer?
Nothing like a cold beer on a hot afternoon
to make a man feel--
buddy.
All right.
How's it going?
Terrible.
My father-in-law's trying to muscle in.
My friends have left me.
My family's nowhere to be found.
Whoa, whoa. I'm not Dr. Phil here.
I meant, how's the fishing?
Yeah. the fishing. I must have been out of my mind
to enter that thing.
I haven't won a tournament in years.
I'm actually thinking
about buying one of those echo sounders,
you know, to give me an edge.
Bill...
You got to dance with who brung you.
Know what I mean?
Announcer: welcome to ESPN's coverage
of the paradise lake invitational,
one of the premier events on the bassmaster pro tour.
It's a perfect day, guaranteeing
an exciting shootout,
as the world's bass anglers have converged
on this beautiful spot
to compete for $50,000 cash
for what should be the most exciting event of the season.
Good morning, all. I'm Keith Alan.
By my side, Mark zona,
bassmaster veteran,
ready to break it down for us.
Magical stuff as always, Keith.
Plain and simple, it is gonna take a minor miracle
for any of these anglers to unseat
the number-one ranked bass angler in the world,
hot rod Johnson.
And you're gonna have to wake up pretty early in the morning
to beat hot rod Johnson.
If he drops 5 bombs, and this thing is over before it starts...
Oh, no, no, no!
Mark zona: Hot rod Johnson is...
When nobody else catches him.
I'm gonna tell you something, Keith,
hot rod Johnson...
Rods, rods, rods.
Hot rod Johnson is built for tournaments like this.
Listen when i tell you...
This lake is just perfect for hot rod Johnson...
Probably gonna need pants.
Everything looks good here.
You're good to go.
Hey, I'm bill dugan. Sorry I'm late.
Oh, yes, our amateur. We're ready for you.
You can launch your boat over here.
Hang on. Hey.
What idiot parked their piece of garbage here?
Yeah! boy, huh? The nerve of some people.
[Indistinct P.A. announcements]
Pretty, isn't it?
Yeah. honey, what are you doing here?
I thought you might want this.
What is it?
It's your old championship shirt.
Thanks.
Bill, no matter what happens with the tournament
or the money, you and I really need to sit down and talk
when this is all over.
Talk. yeah, honey, i was gonna--
Mr. dugan, we need you.
Ok, I'll be right there.
Sweetie, I was gonna tell you--
it's ok, bill. Go ahead.
Sit right there.
Here comes some fresh meat.
Hey, how about you, guy? Guy with the yellow shirt.
[Upbeat music playing]
Keith Alan: Here he is, the local hero
and former amateur champion, bill doogie.
Thanks, man, but actually it's dugan.
Wonderful. hey, you got to be excited to be here.
Oh, I mean, it's a dream come tru--
you know, I had an opportunity to spend some time
with your father-in-law today.
The mattress king. That's right.
Exactly.
And let me tell you something.
This truly is a sad story.
Bill doogie sits here a shell of man
on the edge of the abyss
about to lose it all.
He's facing humiliation, bankruptcy, personal ruin.
Zona, that prize money sure could help.
Zona: you got that right.
You know, he's got about as much chance
as you do winning a gold medal in synchronized swimming, Keith.
The worst thing is poor doogie is almost homeless.
Bill: now, wait a minute.
Bill doogie, a man with a dream,
a dream that could turn into a tragedy.
And now a word from our sponsor,
mattress king.
* we'll make you sleep like royalty *
what the heck was that?!
Whoa! it's all good. It's all good.
Hey, here we go.
It's hot rod. H.R.J.
Yes!
TV: at mattress king...
* we'll make you sleep like royalty *
[upbeat music playing]
Announcer: welcome back, everyone.
We're joined by tournament favorite, crowd favorite,
and America's favorite, hot rod Johnson.
You know, champ, we were just talking
to the amateur, bill doogie.
What advice could you throw him right now?
Well, Mark zona, i just think
it's great that we live in a country
where anyone can participate in a fantastic event
like this one.
Awesome.
Wow. great, great stuff.
Bill: get out of my-- let go of me.
"Homeless"? "shell of a man"?
Let me tell you something, zona.
How much gel you got in that hair, huh?
Let me gonna tell you something, guys.
That tool couldn't catch a bass in a toilet bowl.
Man, it's like watching a car wreck.
You can't take your eyes away from the screen.
Bill looks good, though.
Crazed but good.
Hot rod on TV: Sounds like someone missed their medication.
Announcer: gentlemen, start your engines.
[Crowd cheers]
Announcer: and they're off.
Bill: hey, hot rod's leaving early.
Come on, come on!
All right, all right.
[Bill coughs]
Oh, yeah!
Nope.
Keith: hot rod sure is making it look easy
out there.
What a great example for the kids.
Classic hot rod Johnson.
Some guys make gold records.
Hot rod wins bass tournaments.
Boy: yeah, hot rod!
Well, by contrast, we got to talk a little bit
about the amateur, bill doogie.
Quite honestly,
I don't even know what that guy's doing here.
You know, it's obvious to me at least--
you know, I've been in this for the better side of 25 years--
that that man is clearly outmanned right--
it's coming in. We're going to actually take you out
to the water with our amateur champion, bill doogie,
and take a peek at what he's got his hands on now.
No. no, no. No...
I don't even know that that's legal.
Ooh!
[Laughter]
Oh, yeah. Come to papa. Here we go.
Hey, now, baby.
Now we talking.
Hey, get in there.
Man: 13 pounds, 6 ounces
for Preston Clarke,
putting him in third place for the day.
Nice work, Preston.
And here he comes, folks,
hot rod Johnson!
Man: yeah!
The greatest!
Man: hey, hot rod!
That's the way to reel it in, hot rod.
Good job!
[Odd job chuckling]
TV: 16 pounds, 3 ounces.
That puts hot rod Johnson in first place.
Odd job: That's usually a 2-day total.
Zona: you know, we always talk about guys
fishing their strength on this tournament trail.
And hot rod Johnson has done that to perfection today, Keith.
I'm gonna tell you,
one of the most flawless performances
I've ever seen on the water this afternoon.
Well, the guy never ceases to amaze me.
Hot rod Johnson has delivered again.
And with just one minute to go,
still no sign of the amateur, uh, bill doogie.
Oh!
Gah! I can't get--aah!
Look out!
[People screaming]
Ow! ow!
Where's the fish? Fish?
Sorry.
[Bill chuckles]
And it looks like 8 pounds, one ounce.
Ha! is that all you got?
Announcer: that puts bill dugan in 12th place.
Mr. dugan, what are you gonna do about your boat?
My boat? What about my boat!
You are aware of the rule that states
you can't use a different boat on day 2, right?
Failure to use that boat
will result in your disqualification.
Hey, bill!
Well, I see good news travels fast.
Aw. shame about your boat.
Yeah. I can tell you're real broken up about it.
Relax.
I'm still offering you the 15 grand.
Jack, I told you, i don't want your money.
The bait shop is gone one way or another.
This way, your debt is paid.
Ok. fine.
I knew you'd see it my way.
The job offer's still good.
I can't believe I'll be managing a mattress store.
Managing? you couldn't run a bait shop.
I'm starting you out on the ground floor
with the high school dropouts.
Don't you worry about Laura and Scott.
I got plenty of money.
* they'll be taken care of *
[sigh]
Guess dad had a pretty bad day today, huh?
Yeah.
The important thing is is that he tried his best.
Hot rod rules of the road number 24:
Trying doesn't matter. It's winning that counts.
What? I want you to listen to me.
Hot rod Johnson is full of it.
Your father is honest and hard-working,
and he has more integrity in his little finger
than hot rod has in his entire body.
Hot rod rules of the road--
I think it's time
that you start showing your father a little respect
and give him some credit.
Yeah! yeah! yeah!
Hey, hey, hey!
Give these folks a round of drinks on me.
Looks like they finally decided to get with a winner!
Heh heh!
How about a toast?
To the late, great bill dugan.
Gus, he's not dead.
He's bound to kill himself after today, though.
Hey, buddy! Pull up a chair!
Ain't this a sight?
Must be the traitors' bar.
I resent that, buddy.
They never did prove that I sold them documents
to that Chinese fella.
No, moron.
After all the years of bill putting up with you freeloaders,
you abandon him when he needs you the most?
Dale, you been thrown out of every decent joint
in 3 counties,
but bill took you in.
Odd job, you were unemployable.
Bill gave you a job.
Betty, when you first opened the snack bar,
your coffee tasted like bilge water.
Bill stuck with you till you got it together.
And you two--
yeah, we know. We're ingrates.
But we're too old to change.
You're right, buddy.
We're terrible friends.
But what can we do now?
I think helping bill win this tournament would be a start.
Now, we could cut the fuel line
on old hot rod's cabin cruiser
and rig up a simple fuse
with a bic lighter
and blow him straight back
to wherever he came from.
Oh, I suppose somebody's got a better idea.
Buddy, bill doesn't even have a boat to compete in tomorrow.
He's gonna be disqualified.
Bill's got a boat.
He just needs someone to go down there and get it for him.
Get bill his boat.
Well, that's a great idea, buddy!
Heck of an idea!
Oh, you mean right now?
[Dog barks in distance]
Hey.
Rough day, huh?
No kidding.
Even that didn't work.
Just doesn't matter.
Boat or no boat, i just could not find the fish today.
Why did--why did you marry me, anyway?
Well, it had nothing to do with your skills as a fisherman.
I married you because you're a good man.
Well, not lately.
Maybe you haven't noticed,
but over the last couple weeks,
I've been pretty much a stubborn, bullheaded jerk.
And feel free to contradict me at any time.
Hey, when you're right, you're right.
Listen.
God, I know I've made a mess of this whole thing.
I mean, I'm gonna lose the tournament,
and I'm gonna lose my bait shop, and--
and that's ok because I can handle that stuff.
But, baby, what I can't handle is losing you and Scott.
I don't--i don't want to get divorced.
We're not gonna get divorced, bill.
We're not?
Of course not.
It's like the man said,
for richer or for poorer.
But from now on,
you got to be honest with me 100% of the time.
Ok.
I hate your tuna casserole.
Oh, you...
[Laughs]
Oh, my god.
Whoo-hoo!
That reminds me of that contract work
I did for them Navy seals!
Whew!
Are you sure you can repair this?
Just relax and leave it to old odd job.
Ok, I have to go and meet hot rod.
I don't think that's a good idea.
But, mom--
oh, no, no, no, it's--it's ok. It's ok.
Scott promised him he'd help him prep his boat,
and we dugans keep our word.
Besides that, you look like you've been having fun.
Go ahead.
Thanks, dad. Good luck.
All right.
Yeah. good luck with what?
I don't even got a boat.
Why'd we even bother coming down here?
Your dad's just gonna rub it in my face.
The man I married isn't a quitter.
There must be something we can do.
Besides, what's the worst that can happen?
You'll learn how to sell mattresses.
If someone like my dad can do it,
how hard can it be?
Yeah!
[Laughter]
I'm sorry. The rules are clear.
You cannot compete today unless you use the same boat.
Hey, bill.
Tough luck.
Losing the bait shop, losing the tournament--
seems to be a theme here.
You know what, Jack? Give it a rest.
Hey, what's the matter, you can't stand a little criticism?
Hey, you'd better get used to it
if you're gonna be working for me.
Daddy, that's enough.
No, no. It's all right.
Listen to the man, Laura. It's all over!
Betty: bill!
Da-da!
Well? do you like it?
Are you kidding?
Wow! she's beautiful!
But how did you--
I took charge, bill.
I am well schooled in crisis management.
Let's just say some of your friends
who formerly took your friendship for granted
realized the error of their ways.
Gus: we're sorry, bill.
You're not just a good fisherman.
You're a good friend.
Guys.
You can't use that piece of junk.
Actually, that's not true.
There's nothing in the rule book
says a participant can't make repairs.
Good to go, Mr. doogie.
It's "dugan."
Doesn't matter. We had an agreement.
You took my money.
Stuff it in your mattress, Jack.
You dumb son of a--oh!
Ha ha ha!
[Stammering]
Shut up, daddy.
[Laughter]
Go get 'em, honey.
Yeah!
[Chanting, "bill!"]
[Cheering and applause]
Unh!
Look at that rust bucket over there.
Some people don't got no pride.
Must be embarrassing to be his kid.
No, it isn't. He's a good guy.
Good guy?
Who cares?
I'd rather win.
What about working hard or integrity?
You can keep your integrity.
Hot rod would rather win.
Ha ha!
Nice boat.
Yeah! she's great, isn't she?
I tell you what, i can't believe those guys.
But, buddy, I don't know what the heck
I'm gonna do out there today.
Man, i lost all my gear--
your gear? That's not the bill dugan I know.
The guy I know never bothered with echo sounders
or fish finders or g.P.S. Units.
He was a fisherman, and he knew the lake,
treated the bass like a kindred spirit.
Yeah.
Well, that was a long time ago.
Well, maybe you're right.
Anyways, I got you a little something.
What is it?
Don't open it until you get out on the lake.
Don't worry. Everything you need's inside.
Man on P.A.: Gentlemen, start your engines!
What are you waiting for?
[Cheering]
You the man! You the fisherman!
Bill: all right, buddy. Let's see what you got me.
"Dance with who brung ya"?
What is it with all these riddles?
[Echoing]
Buddy, you old son of a gun.
All right. Come on, fish.
I need you.
I'll be durned.
Buddy, you are still my Yoda.
Whoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!
Yeah. uh-huh.
Alan: welcome to ESPN's coverage
of the paradise lake invitational
as the world's best bass anglers
have converged on this beautiful spot
to compete for $50,000 cash.
Zona: hot rod Johnson is built
for tournaments like this.
Well, in the dictionary, under "confidence,"
there ought to be a picture of hot rod Johnson.
The champ is really looking comfortable out there
with that big lead.
And check out the amateur coming to the party right now.
It looks like bill doogie won't go hungry,
even if he is homeless.
[Cheering]
I'm back.
Yeah!
Odd job on walkie-talkie: Bill, where are you?
I'm over here by hancock bridge.
That's the far side of the the lake.
You'd better head back.
You only have 20 minutes left.
Yeah, you're right.
All right, I'm heading in.
You know what? Just one more.
Oh! yeah.
There we go.
Come on, baby.
Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!
Look at you! You're a pig!
Ha ha ha!
Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here.
Hey, come here. Come here.
Oh! no. Come back.
[Grunts]
No!
Alan: well, Mark, the paradise lake invitational
has been a spectacle both on and off the water.
Well, these guys have done a great job of dissecting this lake this week,
but, that being said,
hot rod Johnson, he has been on fire this week.
We talk about guys fishing in the moment.
That guy has been in the moment his whole life.
Then there's the amateur, bill doogie,
coming into the day in 12th place.
He is taking advantage of every last moment
to fish out there today,
and hopefully, it's gonna pay off for him.
Where is he?
Don't worry. He'll be here.
Gonna be begging me for that job.
Hope he knows how to use a broom.
Hey, wait a minute! There he is!
[Cheering]
[Grunt]
What a finish!
And here he comes, your day one leader,
fishing to the very last second,
drove it like he stole it
all the way back to the weigh-in--
hot rod Johnson.
What's up?
H.r.j.
Let's put him on the scales.
Looks like 7 pounds even.
That gives hot rod a two-day total of 23 pounds, 3 ounces.
Still in first place. Congratulations, hot rod.
Thank you. Much deserved.
I'd like to thank my adoring fans, my sponsors--
hey!
This tournament ain't over yet.
Not unless you caught free Willy out there.
[Laughter]
Unbelievable--
an amateur against the biggest names in the sport.
This guy is gonna need a miracle right now.
He pulls this off,
I will go to mass every morning at dawn.
That brings your two-day total
to 17 pounds, 5 ounces.
That moves you into fourth place.
I knew he didn't have it in him.
Do you have anything else to put in the basket?
Well, I might have one more.
Hey, come on, let's just go ahead
and cut hot rod a check.
We'll call him "free Willy."
[Crowd gasping]
[Cheering and applause]
But I guess I'd better set my alarm clock.
That is an absolute giant, bill.
How'd you do it?
Oh...
It was nothing.
No!
Oh!
[Grunting]
Ah ha ha ha!
Piece of cake.
Let me get in there.
10 pounds, 10 ounces!
That brings your two-day total to 27 pounds, 15 ounces.
Your new paradise lake invitational champion,
bill doogie!
All: it's dugan!
Huh? huh?
Hot rod: Hold up, folks. Hold it.
You know what they say--
it ain't over till the fat lady closes her tackle box.
I guess you just want to congratulate me on my win.
No. I got one more fish i forgot to weigh.
Here you go, boss.
Thank you, baby.
You'll love this one.
Nobody beats hot rod.
Yeah.
8 pounds, 5 ounces.
That brings your two-day total to 31 pounds, 8 ounces.
Hot rod, you've done it again!
Well, well, well,
looks like the pro pulled it off, didn't he?
Thank the lord, i can sleep late again.
You know h.R.J. Not going down without a fight.
That's right, folks.
Give it up for the greatest.
Hey, I caught that bass a couple days ago.
Shut up, kid.
You're just mad because I beat your loser dad.
That's a strong accusation, son.
Do you have any proof?
Yeah, I got this picture right here.
Look at the markings on the tail.
That's my bass.
Man: come on.
He's right.
Hold on here.
It's just a big misunderstanding.
That's all it is.
Cheater!
[Yelling]
Cheater!
Announcer: what an insane turn of events.
This is the biggest disgrace
I have ever seen
in all my years bass fishing.
Hot rod Johnson should be taken out to that lake
and drowned.
What about it, chairman?
Is there a death penalty in bass fishing?
Unfortunately, no.
We outlawed it in '83.
But this kind of cheating
calls for a lifetime suspension,
and of course, you're disqualified from this event.
What?
Mr. dugan, I'm proud to say you're the winner
and the winner of $50,000!
[Cheering and applause]
What a great story here, z.
What an incredible moment for the underdog.
He just went from the outhouse to the penthouse.
From zero to hero and right to the top of the food chain.
What about it, bill? What happened out there today?
Out there, nothing really.
Just fishing, mostly.
But in here--
in here, i had a realization,
a realization that I got a wonderful family,
I'm surrounded by great friends,
and that's the best catch a man can have.
I'm just really lucky.
We're the really lucky ones.
I love you, bill.
You little punk!
Hot rod's gonna kick your scrawny butt.
Ooh!
Ha ha ha!
[Applause]
Why don't you take your sorry loser butt out of our town?
Ain't no room for you in paradise.
You ain't seen the last of me!
Nobody messes with hot rod Johnson--
nobody!
[Woman screams]
Dale? Dale? Dale?
What?
Now, I thought we all agreed
on that fuel line thing.
[Laughter]
I wonder what they're gonna open across the street.
I still got my fingers crossed for that...
Massage parlor.
At your age?
Heh heh heh!
That'll be 20 bucks.
I'm just kidding you. Ha ha ha!
See you on tour next year, Mr. dugan.
You got it. You got it.
Betty.
Hey, bill. We're off.
3 days in Miami.
Well, you guys have fun.
Just have her back by Monday.
I will.
We will.
Mr. dugan, will you sign this for me?
Oh, you betcha.
Come on, dad, let's go.
Honey, the fish are waiting for you.
Another day in paradise.
Hey, dad, who's gonna deliver the mail?
Don't worry. I took care of it.
[Chuckles]
There you go.
Now, you know,
government reads your mail, right?
Hee hee hee!
Jeremy mccomb: * I'll probably never see a million dollars *
* never own some big house out on the water *
* never see the sunset from a yacht in montego bay *
* that's ok
* 'cause I've got everything a poor man needs *
* some change in my pocket, something cold to drink *
* some friends that got my back *
* come hell or high water
* yeah, I'm doing all right, doing ok *
* somehow everything seems to fall in place *
* even when the sky is falling, somehow I get through *
* yeah, I do
* it's a hard road
* what a great ride
* I got everything I need right by my side *
* you're the one thing that makes me who I am *
* you're everything, and I'm your man *
* this great, big world can get so small *
* throw you around with the weight of it all *
* square on your shoulders
* so heavy that you might fall
* not for long
* it's a penny for a pound, a nickel for a dollar *
* you bend till you're broke and bend a little farther *
* change what you can and do what you say *
* day by day
* I'm doing all right, doing ok *
* somehow everything seems to fall in place *
* even when the sky is falling, somehow I get through *
* I always do
* it's a hard road
* what a great ride
* I've got everything I need right by my side *
* you're the one thing that makes me who I am *
* you're everything, and I'm your man *
* I'm doing all right, doing ok *
* somehow everything seems to fall in place *
* even when the sky is falling, somehow I get through *
* I always do
* it's a hard road
* what a great ride
* got everything I need right by my side *
* you're the one thing that makes me who I am *
* you're everything, and I'm your man *
* yes, I'm your man
* yes, I am
* I'm doing all right, doing ok *
* somehow everything seems to fall in place *
* even when the sky is falling, somehow I get through *
* I always do
* it's a hard road
* what a great ride
* got everything I need right by my side *
* you're the one thing that makes me who I am *
* you're everything, and I'm your man *
* yes, I'm your man
* yes, I am