Bowling.
One of the world's oldest sports
Bowling date artifacts back to ancient Egypt
and the Roman empire more than 5,000 years ago
Or as my mother would say,
"about the age of as earth."
Modern rules were founded in 1895
in New York City,
and has since evolved into what many consider
as the highest form competition between humans
You have one competitor, ten pin,
and polyurethane balls.
Some play for fun,
others compete for glory.
I'm a bowl because I really am
I'm Emily baardsson and you're watching...
Ah, jeepers.
Here, in the roseau area,
we do big bowling every year in my alley
Actually, is not my alley Uh, it's my uncle Harley's, s uh, but he's dead now I run it, Well, I guess it's my alley.
Anyway, we call it, uh, waiting for it,
bowl roseau
You know, Because of a soccer match.
However, this is really a big event around here every year
This year we will reopen
open age, gender brackets open to find out
who's the best bowler right? This is a question that is in everyone's mind,
and we only have the right to know So that's how we will do it, and add it again,
it must get me a number of extra moolah from concession sales
Because the last time we did an open age, the gender bracket was open,
concession sales over the roof
I mean, you don't make a lot of money for shoe rental.
You are not. If we can avoid post tournaments _ this time controversy,
we can make open age, open gender bracket is normal.
Friggin drinks & fountains
That was the first episode from my video blog,
the, jeez, wow, that was six years ago now.
So, yes, gets a lot of comments about the title
Holy bucket I don't know people will go take it like that
So I quickly changed it for "Emily's turkey"
for the next episode You know, because of the whole
three consecutive strikes?
You see "Emily Turkey."
After getting a lot inappropriate nipple comments,
I switch to "Emily xxx," because I think
it's the same as bowling a Turkish,
unless it's not dirty
What is frick am I thinking
To be fair, the video gets a lot of from view,
but I don't think That's what those people expect, you know
So after that, I made the final decision
to call it "Beat with Emily,"
and, uh, that's him my video blog has been called since.
Oh yeah.
I guess living legends
will be the right way to refer to Gunnar Solberg.
No, no, after you.
Jeez Louise, I'm gone.
I mean, how many people can say they have dominated
ten of the last 12 bowls of roseau?
Gunnar can say that.
He says it all the time.
Ten for 12, honey Ten out of 12.
Ten of the last 12. Seven of the last straight
Ten for 12? Literally.
I will study you something else,
about five years ago,
they do an open bracket.
Not only did I dominate my cousin Emily
so hard he stopped competing,
they close open bracket forever,
until like the end of time
I mean, until now.
I think that's what you get for college
think you're better than all others
You're not better than Gunnar solberg...
Bad face!
He will know what I'm talking about
I can close up on the "fart face" if you need it
- no - Like... okay.
Hi, I'm Barry Williams.
I work here war bowling alley.
Um, I mostly do it I work on -
uh, face frickin & apos; itchy -
uh, most work in, eh, concessions,
but when my cash drawer comes out at point
for three consecutive days,
Alan allowed me hit up the duty shoes
So it's pretty, um,
you know, is anything, do you know?
This is really cool.
I retired from competitive bowling
about five years ago, after the last open tournament.
That, uh, Not because Gunnar hit me
Or, uh, you know, he rubbed it on my face actually was bad after that,
or, you know,
because of what happened for my father
I mean, yes, sure, He's really a jerk and, uh, he made me feel really was bad about that,
But that's not why I stopped.
You know, I just got -
I'm too much my plate now, you know
Mmm.
I mean, I just Too much to do, do you know?
Oh, I'm very happy this year's tournament,
but I tried to compete to become a bowling man,
I'm not a bowler.
My dream, actually, is trying to be a singer.
You know, like, uh, Justin bieber
Um, but if you want,
Maybe I can do it fast singing fast
for you to hear me do that
I've run my video blog which is,
You know, is literally dozens of hits every week
And, um,
I have practiced my favorite aunt -
ooh. Friggin; lumps
I have, uh, training my favorite aunt Donna
to become a bowler, is, uh,
which is where we are headed now,
and I teach fifth grade here at warroad.
You know, I want to see Gunnar coming in physical peak conditions are needed to compete
with that kind of from workload
No siree Bob. He can't do it.
So that's why I'm retired.
Yeah, I know Emily has a fancy job,
But he is very idiot.
I got this all the basement for myself.
Rent for free Blast!
And then I will blow it up.
I'm still on track a little.
Uh, actually, I, uh,
took my fifth grade bowling last week,
and, uh, oh, I have to say yes, jeez Louise,
one of my students, who I will not mention,
Jared h.,
somehow managed to bowl in one digit.
He has a bumper and everything.
I mean, I don't even know that's possible
He scored seven!
This is a time like that It's really difficult to stay Professional, you know
- I mean, seven & apos; friggin & apos; - And added again,
when I won the roseau bowl,
I get like $ 3,000 in cash and gift cards.
So who is stupid now?
This is Emily.
And I will study you something else,
Gary goes down in the bowling alley
let me bowl free whenever I want
I'm sorry. Who is Gary
You know Gary
A strange guy who works in a bowling alley.
Oh, what do you mean to Barry?
It could be.
He who with a broomstick on his lips and toadstool haircut.
I think he might be a little, derpy derp or the like
Do you know? The friggin guy!
Gunnar is pretty much one of my best friends
I mean, it's kind of like one of the work facilities here
and in theaters,
uh, where do we have two screens now
Um, and, uh--
because I can meet all, like, really,
popular people when they enter and,
but I will, I might say Gunnar & apos; s the biggest, like, star
that I'm good friends with.
I think he works In theaters too,
because I went to see Jackie chan "first strike"
because I think is a bowling film,
and I'm far away,
but still a pretty good movie
Like, super bad-ass movie if you haven't seen it
But, um...
I'm not so sure where I go with that, um...
That's a good movie.
You should, um,
You must check it out. This is a pretty good movie.
-You have this Five more. -I can not.
Hey, don't use the dirty word around me.
Believe it or not, I used to like bowlers a lot. Country champion in high school.
Now I don't mean to toot my own horn about that or not,
But, you know, toot-toot!
Oh dear, Don't act like an idiot You don't want people to think You are an idiot.
Because he's not an idiot.
But since then carpal tunnel,
I can't get a bowl yet.
So I spend my free time training this little woman
- Ah, honey - How is it, eh,
-How did you meet? -Ooh.
This is a pretty funny story, actually.
Hey, why don't you tell him, lover?
Oh, about how we cousins or about where we first met?
Oh, talking about how we work together
in Christian brothers hockey sticks
-Yeah, but, me - -we are not cousins.
Alright, I think cousin is much more interesting Yes, I definitely want to hear it That cousin thing.
-See, I tell you. -OK, first,
we are not blood cousins It is through marriage.
And, uh, seconds, I feel like in a city this size,
more or less everyone is related, so, you know
Hey, what is that? are you laughing? Hah?
You know, love doesn't have DNA So if two cousins fall in love and want to marry each other,
- then be it, okay? -Okay, but again,
I just want to clarify that we are not blood cousins.
Okay, we are in our thirties and married
When my mother married her father.
-Yes. -Yes.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, I guess that that made us siblings.
Wow. Ski-u-mah.
Ah, who gave?
You know, My parents are first cousins,
and we all turned out fine.
Well, your brother
-What? - I just say
He is very rude.
That's the way it is, My sister tells a rough joke
-and they are dirty -Yes.
But they are very funny.
They're pretty funny, but they're really dirty Tell someone about hot dogs
Good.
So, uh,
uh, one person is eating a hot dog
and others say,
"Hey, how is that hot dog?"
And then the first person takes it
and stick it on his ass and say,
"you tell me."
Then the second person, uh,
"Can use a little more tomato sauce."
you see?
-So you can use soy sauce. -Yes.
Because that feels like
You have this, five, four, three, two, one
Good work. OK.
-Hiya. -Hey, Emily.
-Oh. -How are you?
He is working Sweating enough -Whew, yeah, look at that. -Yes, right?
Wow. Take water, huh?
Yes, little cop. Oh, I will get some.
He has everything, eh?
Brain, beauty, athleticism,
willingness, and he has the biggest --
Do you talk about me
What is it are you saying about me
-Hah? -Oh, nothing -What did you say? -Whoo.
-Hah? - He -
don't talk about me behind my back
He got it happened now
- Don't talk about me behind my back -Okay, I don't want to, I don't want to.
-Hah? -Oh.
-Are you naughty now -No, cripes, I don't.
Ah, I think you need to get a punch.
dear, no.
Okay, uh, let's train.
-Hah? -Ahem! Come on, Donna.
- Alright, go back there. -Let's do it.
She's tired of doing that weight,
but when it comes for other things,
nobody stopped it.
-One more, come on. -No ican't.
-You can do this. -Ugh.
-I'm done. -Ah, come on
-What? Donna? Donna? -I'm done.
-This won't happen -What, look at me
-See me. -Not.
Look at me. You can do this.
Yes, I believe in yes. Jeff believes in yes.
-So do it. -No now, Jeff.
-Okay. -Yes must believe in yourself.
Dig inside, Donna.
Come on, let's do it. Come on! One more.
Ready? Come on.
Do it.
Ugh!
-Ugh! -Yes!
What
-Whoo! -Thank you, guys Thank you, guys
-You did it, honey -You did it
I started to lose confidence,
But then I thought about your cute bread
-Good. -Ah, jeez.
Here's a little something to tickle your stain.
Gunnar rolled three perfect games
in the last three years.
Let's see if he can go ahead and do one of them again for today huh
I'll study you some bowling
Explosion!
there is no perfect game, But, uh,
238 nothing scorn
Ugh.
Hey, Barry, why don't you stop looking at us
and our value some soft pretzels?
He is very strange.
I have a few presses to do tomorrow, for this tournament
You know, This is the life of an athlete.
You have to do p.R.
Local news?
No, Emily, uh, video on a.O.L.
Yes, he has a video show there.
Jeez Louise.
Look at the donkey in that hockey mother.
Whoa.
You have to get people out No matter what is needed
More than lines
If Emily allows you, You must come to watch,
because I've saved a lot for the interview
You will want to be there.
You guys will love bjorn Oh, look, here it is.
-Hey, sis, how's it going? -Oh, it's gone, you know?
So, do you want to? directly into the alley?
Or you think we have time to do it stop by the sandwich shop Doug
and take some from a submarine fast?
Alright, let's see. Your training is 3.30, huh?
-All right. I will say we have time. -Oh good.
I'm a star & Marvin right about now
-Ooh, wow -You know, if you buy
two feet long subs from Doug & sos with all the fixes,
You get a free fountain drink
-not kiddin & apos; -No kiddin & apos;
I heard it on the radio there A two-foot submarine
with all the fixin, drink free fountain
Well, sorry, they left us no choice, right?
You told me.
Em is my baby sister. Now I know what you say.
- "But you look very young." -Ah, jeez.
No? Well. Anywho,
We have been carpooling ever since he started teaching.
Mm-hmm. Yes you know, we are both teachers,
but bjorn coach bowling team
We have a great team this year.
-Mm-hmm. -As I always say,
"strength in number."
We have almost eight children going out for the squad Now, come on, You will have a great team Because you are the coach.
Now don't be twisted.
Em here has all the talents in the family.
I mean, I know how to practice bowling,
but I can't take the 5-8-10 split to save my life Em here can do it in sleep
He is just being simple.
Now, do you know what Woody Allen said?
-Hmm? - "Those who cannot do, teach. And those who cannot teach, teach the gym."
Oh man.
-Bjorn is a sports teacher. -I teach gym.
ah, shoot! Shooting! Shooting!
Will you see that, by fudge!
-That's good. -What are you talking about That's terrible.
-What are you patronizing me? -No, that's good.
You only need to adjust about half a step to the left.
Try taking the two boards above. You understand
You are lucky you are very hot, you.
-Oh stop it. -Yeah, yeah.
-Good. -You're a piece of my hot meat.
-Please. -Come one. Come on.
No, you're catching a firefighter here Okay, alright.
-But when we go home. -Well.
-Hei. -Oh, how do you do it?
I didn't do it. You did
-You are sometimes amazing. -I know you,
but what am I
- Pieces of my hot flesh. -Oh, okay, alright.
-That's what you are -Okay, I know, I know.
I'm serious when we go home.
Yes, alright, It's just that there are no attractive hairs this time okay?
-It hurts. -Well.
-All right. -I'll be easy on you.
-Yeah, so you say that now. -I will eat you.
I know I know. I'm scared.
All right, back to that line
Oh yeah, we know Gunnar
He is the second cousin twice deleted or something like that.
She's not in close contact that's all I know.
Ah, this isn't anymore.
I mean, I'm not so sure this way,
But you know how we all got one relative
that's all, eh, good, not fun?
And after what he did Emily's father, you know?
- He is a person. - he - oh
The man, Jeff. You can say it.
- He is a person. - I won't
Say it.
Just say it. It feels good to say truth.
-Well, alright. -Say.
He is
This is it. Look, now isn't that feeling better?
Now my stomach hurts.
You shouldn't have it grilled cheese
I can't help it.
That looks really good. The pipe is very hot.
But that too Because of what I just said
Yes, I'm ready when you're ready.
I want you to be my cheerleader You'd better believe it. That's what I have to do.
Okay, here it is.
All right, alright, alright We start, go, go, go, huh!
-Oh! -Stay just one.
Hey, it's closer than last time, you know?
-I know, you're right -Yes, you're great.
-I have to be happy. -Yeah, that should be it.
You are amazing.
-He is amazing -What are you saying?
I said you were amazing.
Emily is great with her, is just a good coach.
Super patient He can't be here today because he prepared his video show
on YouTube tomorrow
Wow, oh, kid.
You will see a real difference in the game Donna When Emily is around.
Well, in the meantime, we made do
So why do you agree? to have it?
Publicity, you know?
Like, when Gunnar was there we got a view,
so make it perfect.
Yes, I'm with Kenny.
Gunnar is a total douche, honey.
Don't call me dear I'm nobody.
Emily is always like this when Gunnar is around.
She's right Under her skin.
Dude really sucks.
We are all on your side, Emily.
There is only one way to describe the way he is treated you after the tournament.
Not cool.
Absolutely unreasonable
That's what I shouted. Dude is dick friggin & apos;
I choked in the third game. I did it.
And, uh,
After that, he got up in my bubble,
you know, screaming really loud,
You know, and then he starts doing that lively thing
where you share your basic naked ,
shake it back and forth.
And then he farted...
While the pants are down.
And, uh,
I don't know if maybe he pooped a little,
because it smells...
Real bad, you know, and it happened in my nose,
and like there is no filter or nothing at all
And, uh--
and, uh, then my father stepped in
And, um,
After all, you know, it makes all the newspapers, of course,
and, uh, there is one title that reads, uh,
"& apos; choked on fart, & apos; starring Emily baardsson."
So, yes, I'm not in the best mood when he's around
But, you know, I, uh--
I have to get that view.
Must get that view.
Hey, em, uh, yes, maybe after this,
You know, if you need it to wind down a little,
Release,
do you know, can we go for drinks? Only you, only me.
Buy Papa Nick
-Yeah, yeah, I want that. really, fine, good.
But you know, like, as a friend, huh?
Yes, friend, more than friends, future partners
-You know, somehow. -Nick, come on.
You know I'm not a guy.
Never. Never will
There I say it.
Not all lesbians look like al franken, you know
This is, uh-- This is the joke I want to tell.
Nick really has to let that one go
I mean, I know he is in him and everything,
but... he barks the wrong tree I can't get enough of him. He is, serious, like,
omega dear this century.
You know, He is the end of everything to be all babes
He is the mayor of Babe city U.S.,
and I vote for it every year.
But, yes, I have to However, respect him,
You know, because of him - he's super cool,
and, uh, he's a good friend, and friendship.
What else is the question?
Of course Gunnar plans to win.
It seems like that's all he did Winning. I. Champion. The biggest ever These are the words I have to know ab - about.
They are used to about me a lot.
I mean, it's not surprising
I have won ten of the last 12 roseau bowls,
including the last seven straight
-Now... - Included too -
also includes bowl roseau 2010
The last time they have an open bracket
Do you know that they closed it?
Because I beat you is very bad right?
That's not the reason they closed it
Yes, there he is. You remember that
Remember I put my ass on your face and I farted?
Remember when I farted on your face?
Yes! Do you know what? Yes!
Yes, I remember, You are a stupid idiot Geez, who do you think you are, huh?
You know if you -
If your ball is in a ditch half as much as your mind,
-You will be zero bowling. -Right.
I'm that person
I'm also the person who called you out for the roseau bowl this year.
That's right. You fight me, toots,
on hardwood
Gunnar.
You know, I, uh,
I'm tired.
And, uh, I have a lot on my plate.
You know, I got a job,
and I, uh, I brought my aunt Donna who's bowling
And, I, you know, I can't bowl against him
-Hah. - And, I, and I have,
I have a book club Tuesday.
-And I got a lot of shows... -Horse hockey!
-Build on my DVR. -In its purest form.
absolute horse hockey
You don't have too much on your plate And Donna is a fool. You are chicken
Duck, duck, gray duck, you are a chicken
You tore my family!
And I want to have nothing to do with you and your stupid challenge
And that's all the time we have for today
So, um,
please align next week when we discuss the importance of
different size of finger holes...
Finger hole?
Did you hear what he said?
And, uh, I'm Emily baardsson and, uh...
Oh, I don't believe You just said that.
-This is how I rolled. -Draw a hole!
- Gunnar! - I do not believe.
-Gunnar, come out! -Where are we going?
Seriously, Gunnar, out of here.
Do you want to selfie or something before I leave?
Gosh. Thank you for having me, Emily.
I don't know, You know, he -
I just got confused and me, me,
- Will I also mean? -Not.
I mean, I'm really angry,
Dude, I can't stand that guy.
- Are you okay? -Yeah, I'll be fine, thank you Good. You really nailed him, though,
with that ball in the gutter.
Huh?
Oh, my goodness, no, I mean, like-- aw, dang
Oh, I know me, like, uh, aw, jeez.
-Yes! -Whoo!
That's it, Donna.
You know, You have that power,
and this is all about that's a follow up.
It feels really good.
-It looks really good. -Yes.
You are like a sniper out there
Okay, so for this Next time, though,
I will ask you to take a Step half to your right.
Mm-hmm.
Enjoy the round just a touch
-Good. -Well?
-Mm-hmm. -You have this
-Here he left -Heart pounding.
-Whoo! -Oh man!
Yes! It was incredible.
-Yes! -You are both nice together.
Oh, yes, we are. Only that is him.
-Yes. -You know, uh,
I see that interview with Gunnar
Are you now
I'm sorry You have to see it.
Well, you want to know what I think
Maybe not.
You know, maybe we just Sweep this one under the carpet?
Alright, I think you have to lower it.
I will not be angry.
You are the best bowler I know.
Come on now, You know I can't do that
No no, I don't know that
I know you will beat me, that's what I know.
After everything that he has put you through,
You are the only one who can silence him,
and someone needs to close him.
You know, I know they did it,
and I trained that person it will do it
Okay, you know I really, really believe that
Just to be clear, both of you are talking about...
Yes, I'm talking about Donna, Jeff.
Yes, Jeff, who will you think about? is he talking about?
-He trained me -Yes.
-What does that make sense? -You are the only one.
Sometimes you can be really stupid, you know that?
You know, if you don't like steaming
a piece of yum-yum is hot, I don't know what I'm going to do
Look at you.
Ooh! It's like Hercules.
What? We do some shopping today
-Yes. -Yes, you do
-Let me see the bread. -Well.
Of course I will win this year,
except some Strange accidents happen
I mean, my biggest competition Right now is Donna.
You hear me. Donna!
Friggin & apos; Donna! Who is donna
I mean, I'm what the bowling community is refers to as an aircraft carrier.
C-a-r, no. C-r-a-n,
yes, c-r-a-n, c-r-a-n-k-e-r.
Cranker. Right?
There aren't too many people in a bowling alley
what can be done what can I do
What I did was I came with a high backswing,
I silenced my shoulder,
then I put a lot of rounds on the ball,
and then I just let 'er rip.
I get as close to the line as possible and then I just released it.
You know, it's plant and pull.
So, plant and pull.
As far as I know,
that's the best way to get it big hook on your ball.
You know, I mean, of course you know
Unless you're an idiot friggin.
Bowling is like living for me. Frame by frame,
no apologies.
Gunnar did what Gunnar did, and he never looked back.
Emily can blame everything she wants for what happened,
but he needs to look in the mirror.
You know, as far as I'm concerned,
if he doesn't choke,
everyone will be alive and well singing "Kumbaya" and.
But he choked at the end of the match,
and I just let him know about it
And that's my fault?
That makes me a bad person?
I don't think so.
And I will study you something else,
Americans also don't think.
Explosion!
Okay, you know, is not bad, it's not bad
What I will tell ya though
Uh, I didn't implement it.
Exactly.
You know, bowling is like life.
You have to follow it up Loss or loss,
Implement.
Okay, I know, I know.
Two weeks, you know.
We have to get this every time.
Okay, you understand Things really heat up here
I can say yes,
we need Emily now more than before.
Since I got a promotion for Christian brothers and sisters,
I just don't have almost the time needed
But I will say we are entering pretty good hands
-Yes! What -Succeed!
Yes, you do it Do it.
Do I think he can win?
Don't know, really, I think.
Uh, but he did it is very good, you know
Bowling the best he once had
Is it enough to defeat Gunnar?
I don't know Your guess is as good as mine
But this is one thing I will say,
no one will stop it from trying
You know, he'll get out of there,
and he will do his best.
I can guarantee it.
- Aah! - Are you alright?
my back.
I think it's my dorsi latissimus
He talks nonsense.
It's okay, Donna. Just breathing, okay?
-All will be fine. -No, no.
The last time this happened, I can't bowl for a month.
-Oh, I think it's torn. -What, Donna.
-I think it's torn. -Everything will be alright.
No, I won't be fine.
This city needs you, Emily.
Your family needs you.
I want you to bowl for me.
Do you really think he will Announce in the air?
Dude, you never know He could be a total wildcard at times.
No, no, it must be about the tournament So we have already told Emily that the announcement is quite large
- to appear on the show today -I think he will be
announces that he entered the tournament
Kenny might be right, But, man, fingers are crossed.
If he announces that he will try dudes today,
good chance my long hair pierced me in front of the line
Dude, I only say if it will be anyone,
- maybe me. -What will you do?
Uh, we heard you got news
-Hah? -Event.
We hear you have a big announcement to make.
Oh, yes, time is big. Get ready...
For me to enter the roseau bowl this year's tournament
You said you were not afraid Well, I have 288 reasons for you to be afraid,
you frickin & apos; little baby
That's what I thought yesterday and, uh,
and they also Reason.
Well, I have the best friggin & apos; Coach in Minnesota,
and I came to shout behind you, Forgive my French.
I'm Emily baardsson, and that's how I rolled.
Are 288 good scores?
Of course, that is very good.
But you know what means right?
That means finally he choked.
Last frame
When going down the wire, he will choke
he always does it
I don't know exactly what the science behind it is But it has something to do with it with women competing.
Now I will choose my words be careful here
This is like--
like their reproductive parts or something reminds them that if they ever want to have a baby
their bodies won't even let them win.
Like, once again, I don't know exactly the science behind it,
but that is something I read online once at a.O.L.,
and that is in the chat room.
You know, You never know.
I mean, you can't believe everything you read online
Plus, how do I know He's not one of those weird people born with girls and parts of boys?
Then all science runs until it's gone.
Everyone knows that.
So Gunnar only has to train his butt off,
and that's what Gunnar is for.
Oh, yes, that's much better.
Yes, you know, I don't see this point.
Uh, to strengthen backswing, doy!
Hey, don't do me.
Okay, follow-up is the most important thing,
so I don't know why we work quickly & apos; backswing
when we have to work carry out.
Jeepers, em. You don't need everything to work.
You only need to have a good game.
Yes I know.
You think you can enough ball torque
to record 5-7 splits,
or heaven forbid, 7-10,
with backink?
Gosh.
"Geez" right No siree Bob, you can't.
Now we don't have much time, and we need to take you there.
-Good. -Well.
- Tiger eyes. - Strike
That torque The torque is The torque is
Strike, strike, strike, strike, strike!
That torque The torque is The torque is
93, 94, 95...
You're great
96, 97, 98, 99, 100!
-Whoo! -Whoo!
Let's take it on track!
Yes, let's take to the line too.
-Whoo! -Whoo!
- Attack! -Attacking!
-Whooshka! - Some hot plates are tater tot,
Because he only destroys potatoes Pin it Don't stand a chance
What
-Oh! -Oh!
-One more, one more. -One more.
Good.
What
Now ready to take Gunnar?
Ready like me, huh.
What
This isn't just one of them Hollywood Films
where a girl only chases a man
Unless you count the person is at the top of the trophy,
which I think I kind of left after.
Dang. Eh.
What
There are times in someone's life
where they can't lose,
and that's me now too.
I can't lose Unless someone bowl scores higher than me,
and then I will lose.
But I feel very good about that doesn't happen
Maybe, for me.
Wow. Strong things, em.
Oh, yeah, I heard it's fine, You betcha.
Yeah, Emily is back can't be better
to kill the whole reason.
I mean, he will take it
literally dozens Fans with him,
and more people to feed
only the same more concession money
That's all the old combination of mathematics
and common sense there.
Barry, five minutes late
But bullshit, I'm 25 minutes early.
Get it. Just testing it.
Well, I'm a nice boss.
But, seriously, we like to joke about here
So, yes. Hey, Adam.
Hey, did you come to the Roseau bowl this year?
-You are betcha. -See?
Adam has never been to a roseau bowl in three, four years
So not only will Emily bring more fans with her,
I only hope that he can get redemption
from what happened last time.
What happened for my cousin, his father,
it's forgivable It makes me sick.
- Did he tell you about that? - About farting?
Oh, there's no siree. No, Gunnar--
Gunnar, he took it far more.
This is bad, That's all I can say.
I'll leave it to tell you the rest about it Barry! Stop sleeping on work!
I'm not Frickin's eyes wide open
I'm having lunch in terms of friggin & apos;
-I just tested it huh -Breakin '& apos; blueberry and -
every time Stinkin & apos; Every time I click & apos; time.
Warming up, honey Must have it day ritual game
How much do you have?
How long have you been going here
Because I have friggin & apos; burden them.
No, I'm fine is very special to be prepared.
I only rate a few papers here,
and I might call Donna in a minute,
see how it is.
Honestly, it's true is just a normal day for me
before I go down to the alley
So you don't have it _ superstition or anything
Oh, gag me with a spoon.
48, 49, 50.
All parts of the process are large,
You have to get sugar out of cereal,
But if you let it digest,
You get everything Bad carbs too.
A little secret I came up with
to get the best from both worlds
50...
I know I have what is needed to win
I'm ready the way I have to win
Superstition
They are really fair other forms of fear.
That's an interesting way to see it
The way I see it, if I win,
that's because I was the best that day.
If I lose, it's because I'm not pretty good.
This is the most important part of the morning ritual I have to put it my underwear inside out.
Well, why is that?
Uh, 12 years ago,
I was on the third day my underwear competition day
Obviously, You don't want to kiss,
so I put it in
to extort one more day out of agreement That was the first time I brought home the gold.
Since then,
even if I only use it someday
or no day,
I still reverse it in the day tournament
I forgot twice,
and that is two years I got the second
Accident? Not.
Do you think you need to do that to defeat Emily too?
Ha! Very funny I forgot to laugh
Do you know what? You are right.
I will place them regularly only to prove one point.
Uh, I might as well put them inside out.
I mean, I will come on the seventh day now.
There is nothing to do with Emily
You know, it won't work if I use some magic t-shirts,
if I put my underwear out, it's just fear So do you know about Gunnar?
Huh?
Gunnar puts underwear inside
tournament day
No.
Get out of town
No no no no. Not!
This happened. Gunnar versus Emily.
An epic fight it will make
federation-klingon war of 2372
looks like a vrash massacre by the community of the people.
That's right. Gunnar has this
Me and Gunnar,
we will become stars from the show
Why are you?
Oh, you don't-- don't you hear?
Um, they chose-- they chose me to be that man
who's singing ASA national anthem for bowling things
So, uh,
if you want, I might be able to give you a little sneak pre-
Emily?
Em?
Hey, em, it's Nick
Long hair doesn't care.
Back hair doesn't care.
Time to go to the tournament, em.
Time to bowl several attacks,
get some spare parts
Emily, are you okay?
Heck no. No, I - I'm sick, you know
I'm sicker than a dog in an ice fishing hole.
Yes, hey, em, tournament today
Big tournament.
Have you forgotten that is today
Bowl of roseau? -I know, Nick, I know.
Good.
I, uh, you know,
I can bjorn bowl in my place Not me-- I don't think like that -
Very good idea, em.
-I don't have anything else. -Psych is out, em.
You have you
Come on, I mean, You are amazing in everything.
And that's why I am very grateful for our friendship
And, I mean, I know
that there will never be Anything more than that,
and it's really okay
You can't help but be an babes.
You know, I can't blame you,
because I really being an babes
Babes are really mine favorite things in the world
That's like, why am I doing anything
Why did I go outside?
Uh, I don't know Hopefully I see a baby.
You know, It's like the motto of my life.
- dear day... - Give a bad buffet.
I know. I help you write it.
But are you trying to say?
I tried saying it which I really like being your friend,
and I know you can do this
Whether you are sick or not, I believe in you.
-That's sweet. -Frick, it's sweet.
I'm a funny person.
You know, hey, You remember what you viewed the vlog right?
Oh, my goodness, yes of course.
Yes, well, you get sick when you do that too Yeah, okay, but, you know, How is that related?
Now, that's the episode you're talking about
art from follow-up.
Not only in bowling, But in real life too.
You know, you always know how to get what you want
by just following.
That's why, what, one million people or more
have watched the episode when like most
it's almost already a hundred.
Okay, Nick, That's not why everyone
-draw the video -Oh really?
Yes, that's the episode where my breasts appear for almost a minute
-That's true, 54 seconds. -You know, I don't even know
my breasts appear until I see the video finished
- one hundred thousand views -Yeah, the video is very big
because you know how to follow up.
I mean, it's like, no matter how sick you get
or how long does your titty hang out from your shirt,
You keep going You know, you are very dedicated Look, they, like, know what you decide,
I will always be in your corner, okay?
I appreciate it
Um, but I - you know, me...
I just don't think I can do that.
Em, I know you can do it
I hope you change your mind.
Alright, leave here.
Good.
Hey, Barry.
Cash drawers come out right three days in a row?
Ah, jeez. Hello?
This disease really hits you fast Yes. I, uh,
I think so.
I think we should might go
so we don't catch anything
No, you will -
You will be fine.
Ugh. I just got a call from Nick
He said I should have a bowl in their place
Gosh, is he sick or what? I don't know
Some doofus must take crazy pills
to think I can bowl in a tournament like that.
We make people enter from friggin & apos; anoka
and friggin "Blaine and friggin" coon rapids.
I only think & apos; about my father
Where is he now?
-Mati. -Oh.
I'm sorry.
You know, Gunnar is fair pushing and encouraging...
And full moon and fart...
You know, as if I didn't do it already felt pretty bad about losing, you know?
He must go and succeed countless times worse.
And, uh--
and, uh, my father stepped in
But, uh,
I think he must have heat or something...
And, uh--
You know, in his heart because...
He has a heart attack.
And he...
He died.
I'm sorry.
He is the best friend In the world,
and it's my fault that he died
Bro!
Your Bowler isn't here yet
-Yes. -Is there Emily?
I'm talking about you We got bad news, bro.
Well that's how it is, you told me.
There are literally, I don't know,
dozens of people here to see a big fight.
Yes, that's the problem There won't be a big fight, friend Emily is sick Not kidding?
Yes man, is dead seriously, bro.
Oh, my goodness.
-Oh, jeez. -Yes. Oh, yes, right.
I just hope he's fine.
Yes, I just hope that these people last a long time...
For nothing
I reduce the full concession full plum for this
Well, scram!
Attention, everyone.
Emily will not succeed to the tournament
Listen, make sure to relax your sadness, um,
with an ice cold fountain or a nice hot "pretzel",
available at, um,
right there in the concession.
Listen, this news must be sour, so get something sweet,
like candy or maybe some Taffy.
You can also upgrade any food
with a good order hot fries.
Anywho, we will go forward and start with the tournament
Come on, uh,
have Barry Williams here to sing the national anthem
hey, I heard You feel really inferior.
Yes, yes, You know, I, uh,
gets a severe sinus infection in my lower abdomen,
and, uh, this is very bad, do you know?
You don't get sick, what? I mean, the network doesn't from blowing your nose
What happened to father is not your fault -I know, but I-- -plus, let's not pretend
he's exactly the picture of health
Well, three times Champion eats schnitzel never
No. Look, em,
Daddy wants you to bowl.
So what are you saying?
And we are going on, fans.
I am Alan Johnson, the owner is beautiful formation,
and beside me as usual, minority beautiful vocals
and my sister From another mother, Johnny.
Yes, look, our dad can't save it in his pants.
It looks like today today There will be a bowling game.
Nice color there, Johnny.
I might add, the coat looks amazing to you,
like the last seven days in a row
Now, you don't travel to the American mall
- only for cargo shorts. -You certainly don't.
Let's go down to the floor.
And the perfect strike for Gunnar
Two more, and rightly so out of the competition
-No, it's Turkey. -I don't really do meat now
-I am rather clean. -Well, this works
-You look fantastic. My stomach feels amazing.
-Hey! Hey, Emily is here. -What?
No no. Can you believe Emily appears?
Right, I looked at him.
- Sorry I'm late. - It's a little late.
-Ooh. Right-o. -Closed, Johnny.
Sorry. We have started.
-I really don't regret -That's right.
We actually started.
-Well, have everyone been fascinated? -Just me, toots.
Attacking.
The rule states that long
no bowler is fascinated two frames,
new competitors are allowed to join a competition
with the most votes from all bowlers
and permission from commissioner
-Let me see it. -No, it's not a rule book.
This, uh, "brotherhood from traveling pants."
-No spoilers. -You know I don't have a problem.
Thirsty for clashes? Fast and quench your thirst
right now ice cold water drinks
Available in standing concessions
This is ridiculous! I tried to have a tournament here!
The only thing that is ridiculous is the savings when you buy jumbo cheese pretzels or nachos
available now in the concession.
What's wrong, Gunnar? You look scared I mean, I will too, if I'm you.
-I am not afraid at all. -So you are afraid of something.
No, I just said it "I'm not afraid at all."
You just used double negative,
so that it changes to positive,
which translates to "I am afraid of something."
So you are afraid of something. We want to know what that is.
Yes, you know, he's not wrong
This is a bee, isn't it? I'm also afraid of bees.
I'm not even allergic or anything -I hate being stung. - Giving a sting is the worst.
Right? And swelling and itching -
-All right! Get the sound already! -You heard that guy.
All Bowlers support Emily in the competition
- just say "aye." -Yes.
-Not!
Mostly. Let's start, people.
Good, but be prepared dominated.
I didn't take it easily to anyone So he thinks it's easy for someone Stay here to find out who
Shut up, Johnny. Start talking to Americans.
You will get it, Emily!
ski-u-mah!
Gunnar and Emily really escaped with it
Ninth frame, Gunnar leads seven pins.
-Maybe need a miracle here. -Of course.
Whether it's or to take
eight more points than Gunnar in the next two boxes.
-I believe it will happen do the trick too -It really will.
Really going. Let's go back there.
oh! Friggin & apos; no!
-Gunnar is not like that looks like that. -What's possible
there is something strategic
about leaving them two pins there
Maybe he is planning for the next step,
and this is setup.
Anything along the line maybe at all?
-Really no. -Right-o.
This is Emily, Opportunities, though bleak,
not enough eliminated From mathematical games.
I'm actually in Emily's math class.
And even though it's not enough half tard,
certainly not straight-a student
shoot. Emily almost missed her
- that strike. -mm, maybe
if he just takes it the bee dick to the left,
he must have taken it the last pin
That will be a higher score
Good work with your number, Johnny.
This is a series of Gunnar to open the tenth frame.
-He scores! -Like the tater tot hot dish,
- it's delicious -It's like victory
No, you smell bad, and I get serious
Maybe I'm full. Deal with that.
What
Friggin & apos; dirty
another strike Extraordinary.
I haven't seen dancing movements like that
since the last time our father remarried...
-Next. -That's right.
Gunnar looks to put the last nail on the coffin Closed game with Turkey
Emily will take it second place is easy,
but it's no longer possible for him to win game one.
- Yes, he needs a miracle. -No, he really can't win Exactly.
I don't know You will succeed is very easy for me
Oh yeah? Good, I've been warm now.
So you go to the city center, buster chocolate
Hah! You keep bowling like a can of rotten lutefisk,
the only down is you
- to the trash can -Yes?
Well, at least I didn't smell like a rotten lutefisk.
You always eat,
When it's rotten, maybe.
Ooh, a shot was fired.
All right, here it is, em.
I believe yes
Not me--
I don't think I can beat him.
There is nobody on the planet
I believe is more than you,
and I met Leonard Nimoy once.
And if that's the case to show this,
I'm still silent more trust you I mean, it will be close, But, uh,
You will take the cake.
Leonard Nimoy is dead.
-What? -Yes.
Well then, some other stars have what is needed
to pull through when it's possible to fight them,
like, uh, Whitney Houston.
What I'm trying to say is You have it on yes.
You always have
And like that Missing Houston alone,
You will continue to succeed for the coming years.
Bobby chocolate can't make you disappointed
It's time to get some.
and we are back, round two of three
If Gunnar wins this one, is over.
beautiful dinkum That is an absolute pearl.
to take the game before He let this one escape.
-He is bowling like a real dick -I can hear you.
Wow. It's two in a row for Emily
She's perfect so far.
This is a perfect streak all the way through.
-300 - closes what I will assume,
but there is no way know for sure
and another strike for Emily.
-Halfway through, and he's still perfect. -That's safe to say
That Emily is Serena Williams
awkward sports white people
She's of course, and she's phenomenal Emily has this one in the bag.
We go for the third, people.
What's Good!
I know you can do it. I know you can do it.
You know, I started to trust me like you believed in me You must. I mean, you are amazing.
-All good luck. -All good luck?
Hah! My ass You want me to go "Batman forever" on your ass?
-Hey! Hey! Hey! -Make your face looking like a seal?
-You will get a kiss from the rose -It's not cool
Seal skin is like that from disease.
Pretty sure This is from a shark attack.
That's where he gets the nickname "seal".
-Uh, the seal has lupus. -Then how can he walk?
Did he get a better doctor than President Roosevelt?
-Uh, f.D.R. Have polio. -Yes? You have polio,
and I will attack the shark, and you are just a seal
-not all the killer is slow. -You know what?
-You are so stupid & apos; idiot. -I might be an idiot,
but at least I won't choke in the last game You did it before, You will do it again. Everyone knows that.
Then you have to go and hide for another five years.
Also, I'm not an idiot.
three frames to round three, and Gunnar sit perfectly.
Meanwhile, Emily seems to have
losing steam from two rounds with two spare parts
and failed to close one third.
How come, em?
-Nothing. You? -Ah, pretty good.
Uh, it's a little cooler than I want,
But that's Minnesota for you.
Ahem. Yes, yes, I know.
There something you want
Yes, I, uh,
I just want to talk to you about this -Yes. -Look.
You are the best bowler I have never seen,
above and outside the track.
-Thank you. -No, I mean, they are.
You can do this, Alright?
You only need to remember who you did it for
Yes.
Okay, yes, it appears.
-Yes. -Not.
You need to do this for you.
Your whole life, everything you do is give.
You waste your time with Donna,
and God blessed his heart, he friggin & apos; smell
So it's Gunnar screws and other screw bowlers.
This is for you,
because that's what father wants.
OK?
-Yes. -OK.
Go get him
I have never seen anything like this -He is a woman on a mission. Speaking mission,
if you are on your way back from the bathroom,
stop at concession stand
for new halal Polish corn dogs
They are delicious.
Gunnar seems to feel the pressure
It seems like he lost focus.
What is it Is that important in bowling? I imagine it.
The most sure thing is, Johnny, yes
And another strike for Emily
We are watching bowl bowl bowls.
That sounds more grand
than I consider it in real life.
-How is that bowl! -How about the bowl!
He is unstoppable. Slow start,
but has been blown away perfectly since then the third frame.
Now, there's only one small box left
and their value is close enough, is that fair to say?
Yes, Johnny, they are all tied up.
That sounds very close.
Have you ever Gunnar going to a bowl first.
Maybe a wish He hit all the pins on the last one.
That's my best guess.
Nobody escaped my brother Johnny
This is Emily.
you're a little pretty
Check Emily Hoo-hoo, wow!
One down, two to go.
I don't believe this.
Do you have fun?
Yes.
-For father - Alright, you understand this
yes!
He did it.
He has won Open bracket Championship
and redemption for his father, my cousin.
Stop by concession stand celebrate
with licorice rope or ice cold fountain.
They are not sold. We only have lots available.
And everything ends, I hope, the point.
I have several places to be.
yes, dear
You did it
-Whoo! Yes! -Whoo!
You're friggin 'cheated!
You cheat. Everyone knows that.
-I won the fair and square. -Okay, whatever, Gunnar. Have a nice day.
Nine times out of ten I caught you cheating.
-You are a friggin cheater. -Customers submarine for everyone.
-I like subs. -Whoo!
-Attacking!
oh, jeez, tastes good.
Publicity from winning bowl roseau
has been extraordinary.
I mean, I've almost six foreigners sent me happy flowers
So, yes, it's pretty crazy.
And, oh, my goodness. It doesn't stop there too, no siree
My video blog has taken off like a business nobody.
This pays the bill now, do you know?
So I have to stop my teaching job
And now I have So much free time to train Donna
to win next year bowl roseau
And bjorn has trained me
to win this year national championship
Bombs fall.
Six months, huh?
It seems like it's longer behind bars.
You go to prison Yeah, night from the tournament, I'm drunk.
I don't mean it like that Some drinks are too much I shouldn't drive my truck is drunk
I mean, like,
faint, wake up outside
with a goat chained around your feet
and toilet cake in your pocket a little drunk
In my case, it wasn't up outside,
I'm awake in a drunk tank
And instead of a toilet cake in my pocket,
I just don't have there are pants
And, uh, the goat?
No, that happened.
Anywho, I always heard that when you were imprisoned
You have to beat the biggest guy there
so you don't become prison.
I will be appointed he is a man,
You know, coming from a costume party or the like.
It seems, the police uniform is very real,
and that's the night stick, pepper spray, taser,
unit k-9.
After I recover,
I have five months to attack officers.
Which is rather bull,
because even so I threw the first punch,
Oh, son, we are very happy for Emily to win.
And, uh, we've taken care of it since it's been quite busy ever since.
I found a bird outside, and almost died.
I took care of her back to health.
Saved at home for a week.
-Yes. - And then I let it go.
And that's what you have to do. You have to let them fly.
-Yeah, yeah. -Will not hold it for pets,
but I take care of him back to health
You did it, and then you kicked it out with a broom
Yes, then I'm shooed. I said, "shoo! Shoo!
- Let's go now!" -Don't want to go
-because it really loves him. -Yes. Look at that now
- They will bond with me -True.
He uses that difficult love, gets himself a broom,
evict the bird out of the house
You have to push the bird out of the nest
-That's what they said -Correct.
So we think about Adopting, you know?
You are obviously in to treat quite large
when you hear me singing the USA national anthem in bowling.
But, like, of course, There are some freakin 'jerks
like saying stupid bullshit on YouTube
Like, whatever.
I will only stay alive,
Because I have some real sensations Behind me from that too.
I have to sing the USA song on St. Paul's game.
Likewise a cheeseknob freakin do that,
Mister @cmchfx?
Maybe not.
Um, if you want,
Maybe I can get you a cassette
from me doing the singing thing
for you to use in your film
In a bright note,
I became very spiritual in prison.
I realized that I had done it that I need to work,
and the word Buddha really speaks to me This helps me become a better person above and outside the track.
Gunney, tater tot hot dish is ready
Let's have dinner
I told you! I want to scan and lefse.
How hard can be
to open the can from lutefisk
and wrap some lefse?
That woman.
This is what I faced.
This is my life.
Most of my videos get hundreds thousands of views
Some even go up in millions.
Unfortunately, the same old video
still valid my personal note
Yes, the booby slip clip takes off like fire.
That's how you are...
Follow through with style.
I mean, of course someone might pass
and they will see and be like,
"what's friggin & apos; heck is he doing?"
And I want you to see them in the eyes and you say,
"I showed the world what I got
And what I got was real...
Show the world what you got. Don't hold back anything.
I'm Emily Baardsson and that's how I rolled.
What is Freakin & apos; jeez.
This is heavy.
Friggin's lips & wet.
What I like bowling a real doofus out there today.
Did you say that? "defecate alone"?
I know I need to become a bowler when I and my best friend's room
throwing stones each other
and it hit it right on the forehead
He is very angry.
and he tripped me, like, very hard,
I wake up from that, and I know I need to become a bowler This is not terrible. He can still grab backup
I like photographing people who have a kitchen table,
but they have, like, different chairs
it's not come with a table
Yes, he found it is really interesting
Yes, so whenever we go some friends' houses and they have a kitchen table,
But it's clear that the chair is not suitable -
-Where do you get it? -Where did you get it?
What happened to the normal chair?
Did they break up? and then you can't get them fixed or something?
And there is usually heck of a story there,
and I will write the story and I will include it in this book.
Now it's like -
it's a blank photo album.
I only filled out a photo album,
then I just write a little note
about where the seat came from
So it's not like that actual book or not.
How full is the photo album at the moment?
Six or seven tables.
Six or seven tables, a bunch of chairs
So get there.
There is a doctor they are in the air
Saturday morning at 630.
Ask him if it's normal for people
to only have sex in the dark.
I don't think She's a doctor like that.
They are all Such doctors.
This is human nature, Jeff.
I have a need, you know
You must have the light on
Why don't you stop in the concession,
get licorice ropes, corn dogs,
or ice cold fountains. We have pretzels,
open-face sandwich, and personal pizza.
Feel free to take whatever you like
We were right stocked up this year.
They are not sold or free,
we only have many available
Fair Dinkum! That is an absolute pearl.
That is a rip snorter.
That's really bonzo. It is belter.
You're a little pretty Check Emily
Wow! An absolute ball breaker from Emily
Don't say anything for Emily,
but I will eat Booty like shopping
Jeez Louise, is really inappropriate, Nicholas.
I think he heard me.
-Ha, Gary -Hey, Gunnar
I'll play bowling for free today right?
Okay, um, my name is, uh--
I'm a bar - I'm bar-- 1538 01:18: 08.450 -> 01:18: 12,687 Are you guys, eh, Look at that?
We only, like-- we just hang out for a while or whatever 1540 01:18: 17,093 -> 01: 18: 18,225 This is really cool.