Ladies and gentlemen, give a speech lively for Funny Cow!
Thank you. Thank you very much, and good evening. </ P>
I am very, very happy to be able to be here tonight. </ P>
Really. This is very good.
Also, I'm from Rotherham, so it's good to be somewhere else.
At Rotherham, we are different from others.
That's a pity.
But we have a pact suicide with Doncaster.
Talk about suicide...
Someone went to the library,
He was busy pacing and searching between shelves. </ P>
The librarian saw him then approached him. </ P>
Dia berkata, "Permisi, Pak. Ada yang bisa aku bantu?"
He said, "I'm looking for a book about suicide,"
"But I can't find it."
The librarian said, "Yes, that's because <
Look at my hand. That's not true.
The one here is. Not the left one.
But it's not like your hand. It's different.
It doesn't work very well.
And that makes me tired.
You know...
I don't know how to hit you with that...
Or wipe you with that.
My father did the same with his hand,
Even though he doesn't like like to rub.
I don't think he knows what he wants.
I have a relationship that is funny with my father.
He's a hard person. Very hard.
I remember one day the child in our complex said,
"I'm sure my father can defeat your father."
I thought, "Really. When?" </ P>
The situation changed when my father died. </ P>
What do you mean, "Aw?" </ P>
My mother was devastated because of that.
He became a drinker.
His condition was very bad.
One night he returned home with 1 pound and two cents.
I said, "Gosh, ma'am, who gave you 2 cents?"
He said, "They are all."
I was then 8 or 9 years. I was still in school. </ P>
You know when you have to be to be the one to talk? </ P>
You know, what will it be < br /> while growing up.
And there is Yvonne Wilson, he says...
"I'll be a clown, because I'm silly."
And Mr. Harrison... He's a teacher. He agreed. </ P>
Then I thought, "That's what I'm going to do." </ P>
"That will be my job to make them laugh."
Part One
Thank you.
Who are you?
Are you famous?
How many houses do you have ? / What do you mean?
One. One house. He says you have 7 houses. </ P>
That's not true. We only have one house, not seven. </ P>
Does he have five bikes? / No.
He doesn't have a bicycle. He borrow my bike.
He's a liar. Your brother is a liar.
You think I'm going to get out of here, or not?
Kau berpikir aku akan turun. Itu takkan terjadi.
Damn liar. Big head.
Are you okay? / Yes.
Want to enter the alley? Good. / Yes. </ P>
Where do you want to go? </ P>
I talk to you. </ P>
You think you're something, huh? Something special. </ P>
That's not true. You're just shit. </ P>
Come on, big head. Come on. </ P>
He is filled shit.
Look, bragger. You pollute yourself.
Basic dirty woman. That's right. I am a dirty woman. </ P>
He took it. He took it! </ P>
Yes, you can call me Dog Poop, Dora. </ P>
Where have you been? / Where are you? </ P>
What? / Where's my mother? </ P>
She's out there with her friend who stupid...
While I'm here without dinner.
Make a tea daddy.
What are you doing?
Dad said make tea. / Make your own tea.
Did you say? / I heard.
Make your tea dad now!
Make your own tea .
The basis for insolent children... Come here!
Do you think you're talking with whom?
Shut your mouth... .
... and don't reply to me, the base of a bastard!
Stand up! Stand up! </ P>
Quickly stand up! </ P>
Are you angry, Dad? You look angry again. </ P>
Exit. Exit. </ P>
Tea bastard! </ P>
Hurray. </ P>
Page 116. </ P>
"The Day Thou Gave Us, Lord, Is Ended. "</ P>
It's very cold here. </ P>
Ini akan hangat sebentar lagi, Bu.
See you later, pitiful bastard!
Halo./ Hello.
My name is Bob. Want to drink? / No.
Release it! </ P>
I think so. / You will enjoy it. </ P>
Be careful of my head!
Watch out!
There is something that I want to tell you
I am back to playing. That can make £ 2.
Really? I also want to say something to you. </ P>
I'll go back to become a taxi driver. </ P>
That costs £ 3 back to the city. </ P>
Kitchen. </ P>
Gosh. </ P>
This is good. </ P>
A large bed. </ P>
I like that. </ P>
Gosh. </ P>
What do you think? / This is amazing. </ P>
This is our home, where we live. </ P>
The machine is not function correctly.
But don't be noisy at night. / That won't happen, right?
Stop it. I have to go back to work.
I'll stay here and tidy up this place.
Good. See you later. </ P>
This. </ P>
Buy us meat and tea. / Housekeeping? </ P>
The money takes care of the house? right.
Several Years Later
I bought us chips.
Say something.
Sit down. Sit down. </ P>
I bring you chips. / I don't want to. </ P>
Why? Do you want to make me angry? </ P>
What do you hold it?
Nothing. Not for you.
Give it to me. / No.
Do you want to make me angry? Do you want to upset me?
Are you angry, Bob?
You look angry.
Hello.
Good choice.
Exupéry. Le Petit Prince.
About golden haired children who refuse to answer questions.
Right. </ P>
The important thing is not seen by the eyes. </ P>
Sorry? / That is what the book taught us.
What...
You and me? </ P>
We all. </ P>
I have one box full of bills at home and I can see everything.
The reason is in the box, that is important.
That makes it important.
I'm Angus. This is my bookstore.
How are you, Angus?
So, what do you like?
Like? / To read. What do you like to read? </ P>
I'm a science seeker. </ P>
That's good. Me too. </ P>
I'm new just want to start, be me...
I'm a new seeker.
I really like new searchers, so...
That's good.
You want go for a drink?
No.
Can I... / Four beer jugs, two Babychams.
Hey, wait a minute. < br /> I'm the first.
Shut up or I'll beat you up.
That's not fair. I've been here 10 minutes.
Yes? / Yes.
Do you want to fight?
No.
I gave you time until 09: 30 to learn. </ P>
Stupid basis. </ P>
What do you think of this? </ P>
Good, isn't it? </ P>
Guess where I got it ./ < br /> I don't know.
Ravels. You know, at Chapel Walk.
Guess how much it costs.
£9. Tidakkah itu bagus?
Mick doesn't know how much it costs. It can kill him.
His head will explode.
That's good, isn't it? / Yes. </ p >
It's crowded here, isn't it? Very dense.
This is good. Is that new?
Yes, that's right. /> Where did you buy it? </ P>
Book club. 27 installments. I only paid one. </ P>
That's good. </ P>
Good night, everyone, Welcome to Crookes Club. </ P>
I want you to applaud and give Crookes Club a big welcome...
... for the experts of joy... Lenny Lennon! </ P>
Thank Thank you. Incredible.
Someone knocked my door last night.
He said, "Do you believe with freedom of speech?"
I said, "Yes, I believe."
He said, "Good, can I use your phone?"
So, the person in this prison said to his cellmate,
" How long have you been imprisoned? "</ P>
This person told him, " Only three days. "</ P>
The person said," Three days? "</ P>
"That's good. How can you do that?" </ P>
This person said, "they replaced me on Monday." </ P>
They came for /> hang it .
He and the executioner walk across the field...
... on the day of the execution and it also rained.
This person said to the executioner,
"A very bad day to hang."
The executioner said, "I don't know what you complain. "
" I have to step back from this. "/ Shut up, you loser!
Come on, everyone. Please keep orderly.
Everything is calm. All of you are gone!
He tried his best. Give him a chance. </ P>
Alright. I went to Bradford last week. </ P>
Bradford. I feel like white dots on dominoes. </ P>
Call 999 in Bradford and they don't send police. </ P>
I contact and Bengal Lancers appear .
So, I experienced overnight power cuts.
Really. I experienced a power outage.
See him tomorrow night < br /> and everything.
Next Section
Get it! Here it is. </ P>
Okay, come on, wake up. </ P>
Come on, wake up! Hurry up both of you! Come on, wake up! </ P>
Get up. Look at that. </ P>
Lihatlah itu. Lihat apa yang kita temukan./Apa itu?
That's a swimming pool.
We have a swimming pool. How about that?
Come on, come down! Toasted bread on the table. </ p >
Don't tell people at school, I'm serious.
I'm sure it's comfortable and cold.
It's more like a bathtub.
What? </ P>
Hurry up into the pool. Your swimming is comfortable. </ P>
Mom, I like that. </ P>
Come on, go. Up. </ P>
Use your swimsuits. </ P>
What swimsuits? I don't have a swimsuit. </ P>
Go upstairs and use your father's new underpants.
Mother, please. Go, hurry up!
Don't think too much about it. They just envy. p> Come on. Go down. </ P>
Fine, now go swimming. </ P>
Come on, let's dip. </ P>
Ayo, mari kita mencelup.
Aku akan menyelam selama lima menit.
That's good.
It's not five minutes. It's only been two seconds.
When I was 10 years old, the children at school ostracized me
I'm not a part of them...
And I can't hide that.
I'm trying for a while, You know, pretending...
But it's useless.
There is anger coming out of me.
I started acting,
Act silly, exert everything.
So they beat me...
And they alienated me.
You know... .
Unstable women cannot be received in a collection.
And after death occurs, finishes it.
After you on the outside...
That's where you will stay.
Mike. Astaga. Mike! Lihat siapa yang datang.
Damn it. Did he see you?
No, he saw our Liam. I didn't go.
Hey, where are you going? < br /> Stay up there with Debs.
Stop breathing.
Damn. He doesn't go.
Go. She's your sister. </ P>
Hurry up. / Please, don't start. Promise? </ P>
I promised nothing. </ P>
Alright. / Hi. </ P>
I'm thinking of stopping by. Long time no see you.
No.
May I come in?
Yes, you should enter. / Thank you.
Hi, Jean. </ P>
We just want to have dinner. </ P>
Where is your plate? / I'm not hungry. Just later. </ P>
Sit down. </ P>
Can we go out and play? / No, sit down. </ P>
Apa yang kau lakukan? Duduk./ Permisi. Tidak, tidak, tidak.
I said they could go out and play. Get out and play. Come on. </ P>
Liam. </ P>
Come on, come out. </ P>
Good. I'll go. </ P>
Where are you going ? I told you. Get out. </ P>
It's nice to see you, Jean. </ P>
You should call. </ P>
See you later, Mike. </ P>
Come on. Go. </ P>
Hello. </ P>
Do you mind if I join you? </ P>
This is a free country. </ P>
I want to do what are you doing. / True .
Yes, I saw you in the club at Crookes Club.
Really?
Yes
I want to do what you do.
I want to make people laugh.
I do not recommend. Discard - waste time.
Why did you say that? That's not true.
I'm funny. / Really? That's good. </ P>
I'm serious. </ P>
I doubt that. </ P>
This isn't work for women. </ P>
Why do you think all male comics?
I tell you the reason.
Because women aren't funny.
For some reason, but women not funny.
You're not funny. / No.
I mean... / Singing. Can you sing? </ P>
They will let you sing as long as you look sexy. </ P>
Or you can be a striptease dancer. </ P>
They would like it if You take off your clothes,
Maybe show your butt for them.
But don't try to make them laugh.
They will attack you like a herd of wolves,
Merobekmu hingga berkeping-keping.
I'll conquer them with love.
Yes, good luck with that.
Listen, you don't understand. / I understand.
Not too good. / I have no choice.
I can't...
I can't do what others do.
I can't behave normally. I don't have strength.
But I have a funny instinct.
Listen to me, honey .
30 years ago, I thought I was very funny.
It's not a matter of being funny, baby.
But the question of survival. p>
Try breathing more slowly.
I performed at Dial House, Sunday night. Good. I will come. </ P>
Okay then. I'm leaving. You will drive me crazy like you. </ P>
Ma'am? </ P>
Where are all your seats? </ P>
Lenyap.
Everyone?
Your table? Your closet? </ P>
Ma'am, you can't continue like this. </ P>
Don't worry, honey. </ P>
Mother will be fine. </ P>
I make you a pie.
It looks good.
Gosh. Look at the situation of this place.
Bob./ Still with him, yes?
Yes, of course.
Okay, give him the pile. Come on.
Ma'am.
Good . Forget it. </ P>
Hello. </ P>
Return to "Little Prince?" </ P>
Books. You read that last time you came here. </ P>
Really? / Yes. </ P>
No, I'm just shopping for a window. </ P>
So, how much is it? / What?
Your window.
I'm just kidding. Sorry. Of course. </ P>
Pergilah memasak air. Di sini sangat dingin.
Water, right, of course. Wait a minute.
This is for you.
Don't tell me you are interested in etymology?
Not at all.
What... Eti...? / Etymology?
That's my favorite.
The book you're in look.
I don't really see.
Sniff, Yes.
See, No.
Sniff? </ p >
I like the scent of books. You don't?
Yes, I think so.
I like skin. The smell of new skin.
>
Sendal on Whitsuntide, and things like that.
Calm your mind...
I'm glad you came back. I'm sure that.
Gosh. What's wrong?
The tea.
What are you doing? Following the instructions in the tea box?
I actually don't like to drink tea.
Where are we going?
Where are you going to take me? / For a date?
p>
You mean to date?
You're conventional.
Don't have hope.
And I'm smart.
I can very, very rational.
Usually optimistic.
Most often depressed.
I mean, depression completely.
In a big picture, < br /> I can't talk.
I can't move out of bed...
And I get panicked then I snore. </ p >
And I can be really angry...
Enough. I'll come again tomorrow.
You can take me out < br /> for dinner.
Can I ask you...
You can ask, yes.
But you will only smile and refuse to answer?
You're right. So that's your answer.
Wow.
Isn't that the most beautiful movie you've ever seen?
That red color... < br /> That bright red color...
Did you enjoy it? / Yes.
Thank you. All right.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Which part do you like the most?
Balloon section. / What, the final part?
Yes, the last part.
What is the name?
That doesn't matter.
Bob.
His name is Bob.
You and Bob, are you living together?
Did he make you laugh?
Yes. He is very funny. </ P>
Kau bersikap sarkasme, 'kan?
Do you love him? / No, of course not.
What is he... / What? </ P>
Yes, that's right. </ P>
You're happy? </ P>
Glad? </ P>
Why am I happy for hear that?
You can be my savior, don't you?
Act as a tough knight.
I'm a troubled woman.
Anyway , that doesn't matter.
Who takes the feeling trusting yourself from you?
You have very low self-confidence .
Nobody took it. I handed it voluntarily. </ P>
So what would you say now? </ P>
In life, people get what /> they think they deserve.
It's hard to see.
Why are all women pretty messy...
... and all the bastards so are free on Earth?
I don't know.
Why is music that is easy to hear so hard to hear?
I'm serious. Don't.
What about you?
Why aren't you married?
How do you know me
Never.
Not in millions of years.
Alright.
I'm not as bad that. I'm sure my soul mate is out there. </ P>
That's not what I meant. Stop fishing. </ P>
I'm not fishing. </ P>
I fishing.
Wow. You also laughed. </ P>
I didn't think that. </ P>
So? </ P>
Women. </ P>
It seems I didn't fulfill requirements...
... for some of the conditions they have in their minds.
Tragic, isn't it?
It could be.
If I let you.
Good. I'll walk from here. </ p >
Are you sure?
I don't mind taking you outside the house. No.
There will be a welcoming party. </ P>
At least this way you can see me walking away. </ P>
Does that mean I won't see you again?
No.
That means you can see my butt sway .
That means "chasing" in danger of France.
What am I... / What are you?
What am I? What are we? </ P>
What is your name, soft penis? / Sorry? </ P>
What are you doing? / Shut your mouth. </ P>
What's your name? How do I call you? </ P>
Aku bisa mencium bau wanita di sini.
Smell of women and so on.
Can you smell that?
I'm sure you can.
I'm sure you can smell it to wherever you go, don't you?
Please get out of my car. No, don't talk.
Shut your mouth.
Now you know
Fucker.
Nice breasts!
Hey, put the coins in the meter over there, can you?
Here it is! </ P>
Good, thank you very much, Father and mother. </ P>
Someone knocked my door last week. </ P>
He said , "Do you believe with freedom of speech?" </ P>
So I said, "Yes." And he said,
"Good, I can use < your phone, please? "
There are two people who share cells in prison.
The other person said, "How long have you been in jail?"
The other person said, "Only three days."
Then the person said , "Three days?"
"How come you just entered three days?"
And that person said... / "They were hanged Monday." </ P>
I've heard that. Have another joke? </ P>
I've seen you on TV, haven't you? </ P>
Disturbance. / Hey, can you go? </ P>
We expect comics here. </ P>
There is a push coming to one of the sex shops, </ p >
Say to the shopkeeper, "I want a vibrator, please."
The shopkeeper says, "What color do you want?"
"We have red, black, blue, pink and green." </ P>
The bird interrupts and says,
"I want the one behind you, the lines."
The person said, "That's right. That's my drinking bottle."
I come from Mansfield. Gosh, it's depressing. </ P>
You're so different with the others,
But we have a pact kill yourself with Rotherham.
Sorry, guys, I don't know what... / All right, man.
I'm always very good here. This is for you. </ P>
You're late. I just finished. </ P>
I know. I was there. </ P>
Really?
Now you know, & apos, right?
That's terrible. You...
Dead. I died thousands of times
Why are they like that?
How do you do it, when they don't like you?
How did you do that? / Because I died a long time ago.
I'm a comedian zombie.
They can't touch me anymore.
I am an undead. </ P>
Now, I excuse myself...
Where are you going? </ P>
I went swimming. </ P>
At sea of beer.
It wiped out all pain and dirtiness.
But the stain... That won't disappear.
See you later, honey. </ P>
Excuse me. </ P>
No, no, no. Hey! Don't turn it now. </ P>
Do it! </ P>
Come on! </ P>
Come on! </ P >
Hey!
Hey, be careful of my head!
Are you okay, old man?
You really...
Gosh.
Where do you want to go?
Exit.
Don't be smart.
I won't ask again. Where are you going?
I told you, come out.
What is this?
Star Search?
It's a talent event. / Right.
You'll go there ?
To watch a talent show?
No.
Don't tell me you become a participant.
What you want You say? Do you take part in a talent show?
Yes, that's right, understand? / Don't shout at me!
Who do you think I am? People don't stand up? </ P>
Fine, I tell you... You go do this...
I'll break your nose for you.
Don't say you were not given a warning. Now go. </ P>
Good. I left. </ P>
Baiklah. Aku serius.
I'll break your nose. Do you understand?
Yes. / Good.
You won't beat me.
You will never beat me. Never. </ P>
Not as long as you have a hole in your butt. </ P>
Number one. </ P>
Come on. Come on. </ P>
Colin Pile. </ P>
With the dog Hound. </ P>
He dances. / Thank you very much. </ P>
Don't... You don't... Don't go like him! </ P>
Sorry. I don't think so. </ P>
He'll dance. He dances in the kitchen.
That's only half of work, isn't it?
I think Elvis should be leaving here now.
Number two, please.
Hello. What's your name? / Rodney Chitterton. </ P>
It smells glamorous! </ P>
Apa yang akan kau tunjukkan kepada kami, Rodney?
Just singing.
Your stage.
Sorry I left too long
I need a little more time
If you see through the glass from time to time
That's funny what you find
We can move our body like the smoke turnaround
Come on , let's sway like fire... / Good, stop there
Amazing.
We will replace your name and beautiful woman for duet friends.
I have something for you sign at the end.
Number three.
Hello, hello, hello, sir and Ladies and gentlemen.
Now, have anyone seen lions around here?
Can you help me call him? Do you want to do that? </ p >
It will be very good.
Leo! / Leo!
Gosh. Thank you very much. Good...
Here it is, this. </ P>
Hello, Leo. </ P>
Hello. Hello, everyone. </ P>
Thank you. / We haven't even started yet. </ P>
Thank you. / Can we at least sing? </ P>
Free, as free as the wind that blows
Stop
Not what I'm looking for, thank you. </ P>
Fucker. </ P >
What did you say? / Nothing. I said nothing.
That's it. But you are a bastard.
Number four.
Number five. Number six. </ P>
Who am I, the binggo operator? </ P>
Number seven. Is there number seven? </ P>
Whenever you are ready. </ P> >
Start, baby. People see.
Gosh, I don't have a lot of time,
So you can start or get off the stage, please?
Everyone is ready.
Start. Come on, people wait.
So, when does the day I go to the lingerie shop...
... and say to the woman the cashier,
"Excuse me , can I try pants in the window? " He laughed. </ P>
He said, "You have to go to the room right like everyone else." </ P>
My friend got a good job. He has 500 subordinates.
He works at the funeral. Sorry.
Jokes, huh?
Yes.
Do you like jokes?
p>
That's good if you make you laugh.
You've heard stories about Satanists inexperienced?
He sold his soul to Santa.
I told you what would happen!
I can't stand it anymore.
What? / This is. No longer. </ P>
What are you talking about, stupid bitch base? </ P>
This is over, Bob. No more. </ P>
Go there and make me something to eat! </ P>
No! </ P>
Good. You won't go everywhere. </ P>
You know, the problem is...
I know myself. </ P>
Listen to me. > Listen to me! </ P>
Listen to me! </ P>
I told you, you don't have another place to go to! </ P>
Listen! </ P>
This is your change.
Thank you very much. Enjoy the book.
Okay then.
Hello.
"Well then" what? </ P>
Kau bisa mulai menyelamatkan.
What happened?
I'm here now.
I'm here with you.
I came to share a tragedy.
p>
All right.
That...
That's amazing.
That's really amazing.
Gosh. </ P>
That's right. </ P>
Gosh. Two bathrooms? </ P> p>
Gosh.
A cup of tea?
Gosh.
I've left him. </ P>
Really? </ P>
Go for now? </ P>
Something to remind me. / Right. </ P>
I can't continue to do lies.
Really?
That's a pity.
It's weak to stay.
Really?
Other Parts
I went to see a counselor, therapist.
He said,
"You need to learn..."
"... to develop a more fatalistic approach to life."
"Learning if it's best let life happen."
I want to hit his face.
Become someone else? Is that what he meant?
How can I do that?
So that's how it is. That...
That or facing madness. </ P>
The monster behind my eyes. </ P>
And this therapist, he gave me medicine. </ P>
Keeps me focused.
Gives me a level playing a draw.
Gives me a chance, he says.
But then you just > will oscillate...
... with traces of drugs that follow you,
And that's too scary.
You can't hold drugs when you drowning.
Too small.
You meet different people, right?
Educated people. Smart talking people.
And you think, "I'm one of them."
"Thank God I'm one of the of them!"
Then one day it hit you Behind your head like a hammer.
Your place is also not with them.
Because they are so focused with themselves,
They can't feel anything.
They are scared and judgmental.
And they are too busy alienating themselves... </ p >
... against the cold wind that can drop them.
No matter how high their heads are,
They will still smell their own filth.
You end up being the person who not yourself.
Find yourself.
It always feels like a film for me.
As if I played myself in a movie.
There is a large part of me standing beside seeing me appear.
And I always write my own autobiography.
You know, and if history doesn't fit...
... or I don't like the version myself, then I...
I
Or swallow it.
Hello?
Gosh!
You really made me frightened to death !
Astaga. Apa kau tak punya hal lebih baik untuk dikerjakan?
There's nothing I can think of.
Angus. There is a smell that is very stinging here. </ P>
I'm sorry. </ P>
Basic farters. </ P>
Happy? </ P>
You what?
Are you happy?
I forgot the land.
You understand what I mean.
I don't understand.
That's a question that is quite simple.
But it's not, isn't it?
Happiness comes and goes.
Look, I can't walk around grinning like a Cheshire cat.
I'm not like that.
Know what I think? / What?
I think we should have children.
Why? Are you pregnant? </ P>
Can you imagine? Our child? </ P>
You will be an amazing mother . </ P>
Are you crazy ? / That's for sure.
You must be. That will make you that.
You will do it like duck in the water.
No. / You don't have to < br /> answer it now.
I don't want kids.
I don't want to. / Don't say that.
Really? So now you order me that I can't say? </ P>
I mean, "Never say never." That's all. </ P>
You will change your mind, you will see. </ P>
That won't happen. </ P>
I have already done abortion.
What? / You hear me.
His son Bob.
You are not destined to be with him, right ?
It's fine. That's not a problem. I don't mind that. </ P>
Thank you. You're very chestless. </ P>
Are you sulking? / No .
I'm just being honest.
That's what you want from me, & right? Honesty?
I can't have children, Angus.
Not physically and psychologically.
I shouldn't be allowed to have children.
Someone has to mess up circles. / What circle? </ p >
Monkeys see, monkeys imitate. So do I, I know that.
I won't have children.
Now you know.
Good.
We'll see, okay?
What's wrong?
Just feel a little dizzy.
Dizziness? You look really bad. </ P>
What's wrong? I'm not a doctor. </ P>
Where's the pain? </ P>
Sheffield, Leeds...
Barnsley. It breaks in Barnsley.
Do I want to call someone?
Yes, call Raquel Welch.
Tell me I need breath of help,
Or sex swabs. Whatever it is, I'm willing.
Stop it.
I just arrived. I performed another hour and a half. </ P>
You can't. I have to. That's my duty. </ P>
Good, then let's we go inside. </ P>
Come on. </ P>
Be careful of your head. </ P>
Lenny! There you are.
Are you okay, friend?
I can't continue, Danny.
You can't continue? What do you mean?
You have to continue. I've scheduled you last week. </ P>
Of course you can continue. He's not feeling well. </ P>
Come on. </ P>
Go go to the toilet, take a shower, wash it. You know the rest.
No, I'm done.
It's not just tonight. But so on.
I resign, Danny. I have enough.
Listen, do the show tonight. ../ No, I'm done.
Perform tonight,
Then come and meet me tomorrow at the office,
We will chat. Don't you hear? </ P>
No more. </ P>
Good. Then what did I say to Con Sec? </ P>
Tell him you have no longer want to continue? </ P>
I have a reputation, Lenny,
Years of building it up, one second to lose it.
I won't be able to find a substitute at this hour,
So you have to continue
You don't need someone else.
Have him replace me. He won't disappoint you.
Lenny, they want to comika, not a singer or anything else.
He's a comic. / I don't think so.
That's right. > That's me. I'm comic. </ P>
Look, honey, people out there will tear you to pieces. </ P>
They will attack you shortly after you open your mouth,
p>
Maybe even before. I will conquer them with love.
Love? Yes, good luck with that.
He can do this. She's a cute woman.
As you said, you won't be able to find someone else.
I'll do this without pay. < /p>
Both.
You will appear 10 minutes.
I'll talk to Con Sec.
Don't screw up.
Damn.
Yes! / Amazing.
Well, let's give a festive welcome Crookes Club for the next one.
Give applause to Funny Cow. </ P>
Thank you. Thank you very much. </ P>
I like the warm welcome when I entered the stage. </ P>
So, I'm sitting at home when days...
... and there is someone who knocks on the door. </ P>
I stand up and open the door, Then someone stands there...
... and says, "Hello, dear. Do you believe in freedom of speech?"
I said, "Yes, I believe." He said, "Good." </ P>
"Can I use your phone?" / "Can I use your phone?" </ P>
You destroyed my acting. / What acting? You're rubbish! </ P>
Tidak, kau mengacaukannya.
I wanted to imitate a bastard, but you went ahead of me.
Show your breasts!
If you have a big penises as big as your mouth, I'll consider.
By the way, excuse me,
How do you call women who like small dicks?
What is your name, honey?
Janet. </ P>
He heard it! </ P>
All right. There are three people sitting in the bar,
The three of them sit at different tables, drink beer. </ P>
One homosexual, one Pakistani
And the only Englishman.
Suddenly the appearance of this fairy mother.
He said, "I will grant your request." </ p >
"All of you, each one request."
"Whatever you want, I will grant."
He approached Pakistanis and said,
"So, look, what is your request?"
He thought about that for a moment, then said,
"You know what I think? I want to bring all my friends...
"... my family and all my people... "
He is Pakistani Wales, by the way.
He said, "And I want to bring they all return to Pakistan..."
p>
"... where he can live happy forever,"
"Without interruption, without racism."
Fairy Mother think, "Extraordinary. Okay, good. "</ P>
" Your request was granted. "</ P>
Then he turned to homosexuals and said,
He said, "Actually, do you know what I want?"
He said, "I want me and all my partners..."
"... go and live on the big island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean..."
"... where we can stay free and happy... "
"... and without anyone bothering us. "
The fairy mother said, " Fine, your request was granted. "
The Englishman just sits there and just finished the beer,
The fairy said, "Okay, handsome, what do you want?"
He sat and looked at the Fairy Mother. He said,
"Can you mention again what they wanted before?" </ P>
Fairy lady said, Yes. " He said," Pakistanis, "
" He wants to go back to Pakistan with his whole family... "
"... friends and all their relatives." / "Right," the fairy said.
He said, "Then homosexuals want to go live on an island... "
"... in the middle of the Pacific and partying with all his partners. "
The fairy mother said," Right. "
Then he sat down and looked at his empty beer glass and said,
"You know? I'll just ask for another beer." </ P>
Get out, slut !
Hey, I made £ 50 if peddling myself.
How much did you get?
My mother contacted me when did the day.
He looks confused. That's so bad.
I said, "Are you okay?" He said, "No, I'm not good. "
I said," What's the problem? " He said," This is your father. "
My mother said, "I just came back from the doctor..."
"... and your father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and venereal disease."
I said, "Gosh." My mother said, "Yes."
My mother said, "The worst thing is,"
"Mother left the door back open and he's gone. "
I said," Ma'am, if dad comes back, whatever it is, don't cast him. "
Hey! < br /> I will fool you!
Shut up! Give him a chance!
You can't even spice up newsprint, handsome.
It's time to go home and finish a homework assignment!
Why aren't you silent, the base of a bad whore is boring?
You're so ugly at birth,
p>
Until the midwife slaps your mother.
Your wrists become numb.
Go! Get out! </ P>
Hey, what's the difference between jams and orange jams? </ P>
You can't spread your rod of orange jam to scratch the bird's butt. </ P>
Confucius said,
"The person who dropped the clock to the toilet had a bad time.
Hello, Incontinence Helpline. < br /> Can you wait?
How many animals can you put in the toilet?
One kitten and thousands of rabbits.
Give someone fish and he has food for a day.
Give someone hope...
And he will starve to death for expecting fish.
Please take my life.
Have you ever read advertisements lonely people in newspapers?
They are liars, aren't they? Liars are bastards.
Don't believe in the slightest they say, honest.
"Adventure." That means they like anal sex. </ P>
"Smart." The butt smells. </ P>
"Sexy body." Fat people. </ P>
"Nice to hug."
People who are fatter.
"Love to eat outside."
Fat slackers.
That's the amazing Funny Cow. </ P>
Ladies and gentlemen, Funny Cow! </ P>
I'm serious. I paid you two times more than Lenny's pay. </ P>
I will keep you busy five nights for a week. </ P>
You sign your contract with me, I'll take you all the way.
Where? / Where?
To the top of the oily pole, that's where.
I'll make you star, baby.
Flickering. / I'm serious.
Don't tease me.
I'm not teasing. I'm not teasing and joking,
Because I'm entirely about business. </ P>
Really? I'm 40% cheese. </ P>
Lenny.
Almost the Last Part
Hello. What's up? / He's almost supplied. </ P>
Why did you leave the room? </ P>
Did he ask me? / Knowing you weren't there? </ P> p>
We will not continue this business.
He must respect my delay...
... and I have bought a gold opinion from all over the place,
It will be charged now in their latest sparkle,
Not to be excluded quickly.
Are you drunk when dressing?
Has it been sleeping since then?
And waking up now for looks so green and pale?
Where did you go? / Barbados.
Sarcasm doesn't suit you, do you know that?
Do you think so? That's a pity.
Why did you leave? / Because I'm so bored.
Because of Shakespeare? You mean Shakespeare is boring? </ P>
No, I told you I was bored. That's not my partner. </ P>
Then what? </ P>
I don't know. What is clear is not Pinky and Perky. </ P>
That's because I'm stupid, understand? </ P>
No, you're not stupid. Far from it. </ P>
I don't understand half of what what they say...
... and when they start laughing, I want to kill them.
And the person sitting behind us doesn't stop to sing along,
Make sure the audience sees him.
You don't have to be threatened by that. Shakespeare for everyone. </ P>
But it's not, isn't it? Because most of you like that. </ P>
"Most of you"? What does that mean?
You know. Educated people.
Right... So you would prefer if I wasn't educated? I see? </ P>
You would rather I watch football, drink beer,
Go home and beat you up? </ P>
You like it that? I see? What do you like more? </ P>
Ring my finger books? / No.
I'd rather you not take me come here like Liza Doolittle.
I just don't want this.
What do you think is my motivation?
I just want you to enjoy this with me. Sharing experiences. </ P>
I don't have some sort of agenda. </ P>
I love you and want us to spend the night together in the theater. </ P>
Is that so bad ?
I'm not.
Are you okay?
Love you.
I'm sorry, Angus.
I'm really sorry. </ P>
I don't know how you are...
I've been inside you. </ P>
I know.
Don't end this, I beg you. We match together.
I can change. I can and I will.
I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be lonely. Please. </ P>
I waited so long for someone like you. </ P>
You can't force me to love you...
Because I don't can love.
This isn't you. You're sweet, funny, and so good. </ P>
Then don't end this. </ P>
If all that is true, don't end this, I beg you.
You're better off without me.
No. No, that's not true. I'm not very good. </ P>
I'm a monster. / No. </ P>
That's me. I'm barbaric and sentimental .
Is that the right word? I can kill someone,
Mutilate the body and put the into a striped biscuit tin.
I messed up!
You didn't ask me to be quiet. I didn't ask me not to be noisy.
Of course not. Why did I do that? p>
I love you.
That's the love for me...
And it's not your fault.
I leave now.
Kau mau ke mana?
Will you go back to him so he can beat and beat you?
No.
Take care of yourself, Angus.
If you know how much My heart is very hurt,
You won't do this. You won't do it.
See you, Angus.
A few years later
How are you doing?
I am waiting for you to come.
I don't know if you will come .
I don't blame you if you don't come.
This is for...
It makes me dizzy when I release it.
That's a pity , because it matches you.
Yes.
Look at my hand.
That...
I waited for you to come because I want to tell you...
I really...
I'm really sorry...
For everything that has happened.
And...
I'm sorry that scolded you.
p>
Sorry for always yelling at you, because you don't deserve it.
And I'm sorry that I hit you,
I know you have to go and you should have been gone a long time.
Come here.
I can't sit.
Come here. </ P>
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. / I know. </ P>
I'm sleepy. </ P>
See you later, Bob! </ P>
Dear God. </ P>
Here, let me do that. </ P>
Will you continue like this? </ P>
I think so, yes. </ P>
Mother will die from drinking! </ P>
It's cold everywhere.
Mother is really thin.
I want to do something for you.
Really? / < br /> Yes, really.
I know this isn't true.
We are.
And I know you don't like talking.
But I want to take you to stay on the beach. </ P>
If you want. </ P>
I'll buy a housewife. </ P>
I'm not a good mother .
No. I'm just drinking alone... Stupid
Yes, you can do that under a wide sky, right? </ P>
Mother really asked sorry, honey.
Look at our condition now.
Mother might be happy now.
Maybe.
Why did you keep doing that?
Because you don't know which is better.
Mother should go out.
It should be... You can. But no. </ P>
Mother saw her hit me, Mom. </ P>
I was still a kid. </ P>
That's not true. </ P>
It doesn't there's no point at this time.
No.
When I was little...
I dreamed I was flying.
Fly across Salisbury Plain .
I don't know Salisbury Plain until I'm grown up.
It's a beautiful day and bright.
The wind hits my face
Makes my mouth wide open.
But it's a memory.
It's not a dream.
I'm flying.
And I know it's not true.
But that's true.
I flew.
I lived my whole life knowing I could fly.
That keeps me awake.
Lifts me up.
You know, life is always too much for me.
Too much and not enough...
Everything at the same time.
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