Visit www.Hokibet99.cc Trusted Secure Online Gambling Agent
[applause and applause]
- THANK YOU. THANK YOU MUCH .
THANK YOU. YOU ARE GOOD ONCE.
THANK YOU.
I HOPE I AM ALIVE FOR YOUR HOPE.
p>
I REALIZED TODAY THAT I NEED A HOBBY,
BECAUSE OF MY WORKING DAY JUST STARTED, LIKE, NOW.
NOW ALSO.
I MEAN, HERE & apos; S THE THING,
NOT EVEN THAT BIG PART OF MY DAY.
SO EVEN IF IT DOESN'T GO GOOD, IT'S LIKE, AH, YOU KNOW,
STILL A PRETTY A GOOD FUCKING DAY.
LIKE, THAT - Not a bad day
THAT - YOU KNOW, PARTS IN WORK THAT, FOR ONE HOUR,
AND THEN I OTHER BIG DAYS.
& apos; CAUSE MY MAIN LIFE BASIC, YOU KNOW,
IT> S - IT> S - IT 'S HOTELS. </ P>
BEING IN A HOTEL, JUST WAITING FOR SHOW. </ P>
SAD, TRUE? </ P>
I JUST WAIT FOR THE WORLD TO START. </ P>
AND YOU LIKE, WHAT - WHAT DO I GONNA -
I MEAN, YOU CAN JERK ONLY OFF STANDING TIME
BEFORE YOU LIKE, GO HERE,
I GONNA DO AGAIN, BUT...
RIGHT NOW. </ P>
I HAVE TO FIND SOMETHING TO DO.
I AM REALLY THE ROOM OF THE ROOM HOTEL.
LIKE, IF YOU STAY AT THE HOTEL ROOM AFTER I STAY THERE,
SHIT IS GONNA ITCH IN YOU, okay? </ P>
JUST BE HONEST. </ P>
DATANG DI, HOTEL BESAR.
EVERYONE LOOKS FOR A HOTEL.
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU CHECK
WITH YOU SIGNIFICANTLY OTHER.
WHY? BECAUSE YOU KNOW IN THE HOTEL
YOU GONNA HAVE SEX,
AND YOU HAVE GONNA THE COMPLETE SEX FORM.
YOU HAVE GONNA HOTEL ROOM SEX,
WHERE, LET & S; S SEX,
BUT LET & apos; S ALSO DISCOVER THIS ROOM.
YES. </ p >
I DO THAT, TOO, EXCEPT ME ALONE.
LIKE, I ALWAYS SEND MY BALLS IN CURTAINS,
BECAUSE I KNOW /> THEY DON'T CHANGE THEM. </ P>
THINK ABOUT THAT THE NEXT TIME YOU WANT SOME SUNLIGHT. </ P>
[laughter] OR NOT. </ P>
JUST KNOW THAT IT WAS ON YOU HANDS, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
HERE WHAT I TRIED TO FIND OUT.
I GOT TO ONLINE SHOPPING recently.
I KNOW IT WAS THAT .
HERE WHAT I DO THOUGHT.
I HAVE THINGS THAT, LIKE,
HOW FROM PRICE RANGE MY. </ P>
AND THEN AFTER WHEN, I GO, "OH, YEAH. </ P>
I CANNOT BE THAT." </ P>
LIKE A DAY THIS, I'M LOOKING FOR ONLINE YACHTS. </ P>
AND THEN I SAY MYSELF I DO NOT WANT THEM,
AS IF THEY ARE OPTIONS, YOU KNOW? </ P>
I LIKE, "155 FEET? IT'S NOT EVEN
" GREAT ENOUGH FOR ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILIES. </ P>
I DON'T GET THAT SHIT. "
WHAT AM FUCK DO I DO?
Have you done it before?
YOU NEVER GO, LIKE, HOLE RABBIT ONLINE,
AND THEN, LIKE, Six HOURS HAVE BEEN MADE BY,
AND YOU LIKE, "I SHOPPING FOR PERSONAL JET
" THE BEST OF MY NEEDS. SUITE. </ P>
"I THINK I WAS FOUND - THIS IS TRUE HERE. </ P>
G550. "
HOW MUCH IS THIS? ORDER PLACE.
$ 53 MILLION?
GOOD, MAY NOT NOW, BUT MAY BE LATER. </ P>
I JUST BOOKMARK THAT SHIT NOW. </ P>
BOOP. </ P>
Do you know what that is? </ P>
IT IS THE SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT.
THAT I THINK I HAVE TO RELATED TO THIS THING.
AND I DON'T HAVE IT. I don't.
NEVER HAVE YOU, BUT ALSO I.
I GOT THAT FEELS THE MOST WHEN ANYONE I GET UPGRADED TO THE FIRST CLASS.
YES. I AM EVERY WEEK.
I have never buy it FIRST CLASS TICKET.
I BUY TRAINER TICKETS.
I BUY THEM MUCH,
I HAVE TO BUY THE FIRST CLASS.
I SAY YOU, MOMENT I WILL RETURN TO THE FIRST CLASS,
I GET WASHED OVER WITH THIS FEEL.
I LIKE, "CHECK THIS IS FUCKING VERY LONG FROM SHIT
ABOUT MY APPEARANCE. UGH. "</ P>
I AM MUCH BETTER THAN THEM. </ P>
DO NOT KEEP IT TO MY NEXT. </ P>
UGH, DUDE. </ P>
I DARE TO TRY TO COME FROM TRAINING
DAN MENGGUNAKAN KAMAR MANDI PERTAMA KETIKA aku ADA.
I WILL HAVE MY HANDS ON YOUR CHAIN, GOOD?
NO. NO.
THERE IS A PIG TROUGH BEHIND.
IT'S FOR YOU GUYS.
IT IS FOR BIG OFFERS IN ADVANCE.
SOME PEOPLE BUY FIRST CLASS TICKETS.
p>
I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THEY KNOW YOU GET UPGRADED.
THEY ALWAYS GIVE YOU LIKE LIKE,
"NGOMONG-NGOMONG, < br> WE KNOW TO KNOW. "
YOU CAN SIT UP HERE, BUT YOU DON'T LIKE US.
GOD, IT & AP; S SO WEIRD.
PEOPLE - PEOPLE ASK ME - LIKE, I CAN BE ASKED
FUCKING TRAVEL ADVICE FROM STRANGER
WE CAN ONLY BREAK DOWN HOW IS THE CRAZY? </ P>
"Hey, are you TRAVELING MUCH, TRUE?"
AND I LIKE, "YEAH."
THEY LIKE, "WHY DO I HAVE TO GO?"
UH, I DON'T WALK KNOW YOU, MAN.
YOU ASK THE TRIP WALKING TO PEOPLE WHO KNOW YOU ARE INTIMATELY.
THEY KNOW YOU ARE GOOD. </ P>
THEY CAN KILL YOU
BASED ON WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT YOU. </ P>
I MEAN, YOU DO NOT ASK THE KEY < br>> FEEDBACK, TRUE?
YOU LIKE, "HEY, MAN, WHERE DO I HAVE TO EAT TONIGHT?"
I KNOW I NEVER ADDED YOU BEFORE < br /> IN MY LIFE,
BUT YOU THINK YOU CAN GIVE YOU I RECOMMEND
UH, YEAH KAMU HARUS MENCOBANYA INI DIM SUM TEMPAT.
BUT THEN, THAT PEOPLE MAY GO, "OH, I HATE THE WORLD ASIA."
AND YOU LIKE, "OH, SHIT.
I DON'T KNOW THAT ABOUT YOU. "</ P>
" YEAH, I KILL, LIKE, FOUR THEM. "</ P>
" WHAT ARE YOU LIKE, SERIAL KILLER, OR SOMETHING? "</ P>
" YES. "</ P>
NOW, YOU WILL BE IN AWGWARD CONVERSION
WITH KILLER SERIALS. </ P>
HERE I'M GOING TO SAY.
I CANNOT SAY YOU WERE GOING.
I CAN TELL YOU WHERE DOES NOT GO.
WHERE THEIR MOVIES ARE 48 FIRST ON A & E.
OH, IF YOU ARE NOT FAMILY SHOW, HERE WHAT IT IS.
REAL FOLLOWING CREWS CAMERA HOMICIDE DETECTIVE
FOR THE FIRST 48 HOURS AFTER KILLING.
AND THE REASONS ARE TIME DISTINCTION SO SO IMPORTANT,
ARE AFTER 48 HOURS, UH,
THEY GIVE TO THAT KILLING.
THEY LIKE, "SOME OLD SHITS. </ P>
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TODAY?" </ P>
YOU LIKE, "HOW DO YOU BECOME A TRY
"TO MEET THAT MURDER, MAN?
" THAT SHIT HAPPENS IN WEEK. THIS IS WEDNESDAY.
WE ARE NOT GONNA CARE THAT SHIT. "</ P>
VERY? </ P>
THERE ARE MUCH MUCH AMAZING MOMENTS SHOWING - MANY LOTS. </ P>
MANY OF THE EPISODE TAKE A PATH SIMILAR. </ P>
I'M WRITTEN AWAY, FIRST,
IN HOW MUCH TIME IS THERE OPPORTUNITIES FOR KILLING. </ P>
THIS IS CRAZY. </ P>
I ALWAYS DESTROY THE MURDERS HAPPENING IN DARK ALLEYS,
NOBODY SAW SHIT.
NO. ANY OTHER EPISODE,
THEY LIKE, "YOU SEE THAT SHIT?"
AND HEALTHY HISTORY, "I WAS THAT SHIT YEAH."
"WHERE?" "RIGHT HERE."
"VERY?"
"I STAND HERE,
AND THEN HE KILLED THAT DUDE IS THERE."
"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?"
p>
"HE, LIKE, 5 & apos; 2" to 6 "8", SOMETHING LIKE IT. "
" IT WAS A WALKING DESCRIPTION YOU GONNA GIVE US? "
" UH HUH. "
" WHAT'S ANYTHING about him? "
" YEAH, HE SHOULD GET. "
"THANK YOU." </ P>
"NO PROBLEM." </ P>
THEY STILL WILL BE SKETCH THAT SHIT OUT. </ P>
"DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY?"
AND LIKE EVERYONE, "NAH."
BUT THEN ONE GUY & APO; LL LIKE, "YEAH!
That RIGHT CRICKET THERE IS. "
THEY LIKE, " OH, SHIT.
YOU KNOW HIM? "
"I KNOW & Apos; CRICKET 27 YEARS." </ P>
"WHAT IS THEIR NAME?" </ P>
"MAN, IT'S JUST CRICKET. </ P>
I AM NOT KNOW. "</ P>
STOP DEAD WHITE AND US. </ P>
IT IS THE PERFECT TRIP IMPRESSION,
AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO WHAT IS IT, OK? </ P>
YEAH, IT'S BLACK GUY AND HE LIKES A WIFE BEATER,
AND HE GETS A DIRTY DIRTY AND HE HAS A CIGARETTE </ p p>
HANGING FROM THE MOUTH, AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT 33,
BUT YOU FIND HE IS 76 years old.
AND SHE HAD SUPER AGRATICALLY TO COPS.
LIKE, "I HAVE HERE TO MINUTE!"
AND THEY LIKE, < br /> "ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT
" JESUS CHRIST.
WHEN LAST TIME ARE YOU SAW HIM? "
" HE COMES THROUGH WITH JELLYFISH LAST WEEK.
THEY LOVE & APOS; FOR SOME COOLS! "
AND THEY LIKE, " ALL THE RIGHT OF JESUS CHRIST. "
THEY'VE ALWAYS CUT THE WHITEST DETECTIVE OF THAT GUY IS TOO. </ p >
THEY CUT FROM THAT GUY FOR A LIKE READY,
"I DON'T THINK HE GONNA HELP US OUT.
WE HAVE TO FIND CRICKET ON OUR OWN. "
WHICH SHOWS THE BEST MOMENT IN TELEVISION.
IT IS THE MOST DRAMATIC OF YOUR THING CAN NEVER SEE,
& apos; CAUSE REAL LIFE, AND IT IS AN INTERROGATION.
AMAZING INTERROGATION.
BECAUSE IT IS THIS IS ABOUT DRAMA - </ p p>
IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A GREAT, DRAMATIC MOMENT,
RAISE THE STAKES.
WHAT IS THE CANCEE?
NO STORE HIGHER
FROM ANYONE ASKED FOR
ABOUT TAKING SOMEBODY ELSE LIFE. </ P>
IT IS INHERENTLY COMPELLING TELEVISION. </ P >
IT IS ALSO SUPER SERIOUS.
BUT THE INSIST ON DETECTIVES USE SUSPECT NURSTAHS; S STREET,
SO THE WHOLE THING TURNS TO FUCKING CARDS .
LIKE, THEY'RE REALLY LIKE, "YOUR LIFE HAPPENS ON LINE.
" WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
"WHY YOU DO NOT HAVE A SEAT,
"UH, LITTLE STANK?
"WHY ARE YOU NOT BELOW? FOR BOTH?
ARE YOU OR NOT YOU KNOW DOOKIE SHOES?"
"I DON'T KNOW NO SHOES DOOKIE. "</ P>
" I HAVE A PICTURE OF YOU HANGING WITH A DOOCIE SHOE. "</ P>
" I MEAN, I SEE HIM. </ P>
I DON'T KNOW HIM. "</ P>
AND THEN, THEY SEE ONE BIT. EVIDENCE AGAINST THE WALL,
HOPING ITLL SOLVE THE CASE. </ P>
LIKE, "WELL, WE WERE KEEP & apos; TO NAH & apos; MEAN,
AND HE'S ONLY THAT YOU ARE AT AT LAST WEEK 7-ELEVEN." </ P>
AND HE WILL LIKE, "YEAH, I LOVE HIM IN THE FACE." </ P>
AND YOU LIKE, "GODDAMN, REALLY?" </ P>
IT WAS THAT'S TO BREAK YOU? </ P>
DUDE, LIE. </ P>
Life for longer
YOU CAN KILL ANYONE, YOU CAN'T EXPECT
FOR TEN FUCKING MINUTES ABOUT IT?
LIKE, DUDES WILL BREAK ON ANYTHING
THEY & apos; LL LIKE, "WE LISTEN TO YOU HAD ON
LAST SHIRT BLUE SHAST." </ P>
"YEAH, I STABBED < br /> THEY ARE FOUR PEOPLE. "
DUDE, MANY PEOPLE HAVE BLUE SHIRTS, MAN.
YOU CAN STILL GET OUT OF THIS </ p >
HERE WHAT I LEARNED WATCHING THE SHOWS, okay?
LAWYER UP.
YOU CANNOT HANDLE THAT SHIT.
EVERYTHING IS LIKE, "I GONNA SPEAK WITH KPS
AND STRAIGHTEN THIS IS ALWAYS." </ P>
YOU GONNA DO 25 LIFE. </ P>
HAVE BEEN FUN WITH THAT, MAN.
THERE IS NO INTENDED FOR LAWYERS.
I SEE 300 PEOPLE GET DEPENDS ON THIS SHOW.
TWO OF THEM LIKE, "CAN I SPEAK TO LAWYER?"
AND BOTH TIME, DETECTIVE LIKE, "FUCK!" </ P>
AND THEN, AT THE FINALLY THEIR EPISODE, IT'S ONLY SCREEN,
"ALL COSTS AGAINST TAYSHAUN < br>> Done DROPPED. "
OR JIM PICK A FUCKING NAME.
LET HONEST.
NO JIMS IN SHOW.
I SEE EVERY EPISODE, AND NONE START WITH,
"HEY, BRYCE, CAN WE TALK TO YOU FOR BOTH, MAN?
WHERE DO YOU BECOME FRIDAY? "
" I'M ABOVE THE TANNER HOUSE.
"THEN SKYLAR HAS A PARTY, SO WE GO OVER THERE.
"AND THEN, WE HAVE CONNOR, AND WE HAVE PANCAKES.
" SORRY, BRO.
DETECTIVE BRO, BRO. "
I'RE CONTINUING WITH GOD, THERE IS NO MORE LOOKING FOR AND FUN TO DO IT
IN THIS WORLD FROM SOUND
IN YOUR BEST AGGRESSIVE BLACK GUY VOICE. </ P>
HOLY SHIT. VERY PLEASANT. </ P>
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU TO DO IT. </ P>
NO IF YOU ARE BLACK. </ P>
NOT IF YOU ARE BLACK. </ P>
p>
IF YOU ARE BLACK, YOU'RE DOING IT.
BUT IF YOU ARE WHITE, DO IT.
DO IT IN THE PUBLIC
WHAT IS WHERE THERE ARE BLACK PEOPLE. </ P>
AND HERE IS A SMALL SECRET, IF YOU DO IT IS GOOD,
THERE IS POSSIBILITY
THAT A BLACK GUY WILL RETURN BACK. </ P>
NO EVER A SHORTAGE THERE IS.
I did I BACK AND I GO,
"HEY, YO!"
AND SOMETIMES - SOMETIMES, A BLACK GUY; LL GO, "SUP, D?"
[laughter]
I did it BIG DADDY KANE ONE TIME. </ P>
I SWEET TO GOD. </ P>
I SWEAR - HANDS TO GOD. </ P>
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO IS BIG DADDY KANE IS ,
YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF, okay?
I STAND IN SUNSET BOULEVARD.
A LIMOUSINE PULLED UP. - WHOO! </ P>
- LIKE - FOR SUNSET? VERY? GOOD. </ P>
[laughter]
A PULLED UP LIMO, LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, 30 FEET FROM ME. </ P>
I'M JUST, LIKE, ALL TRUE. SEE THE OPEN DOOR
WHO IS GETTING FROM THIS LIMO?
EXPECT, LIKE, BACHELOR SOME PARTIES OR SHITS.
GREAT FUCKING DADDY KANE. </ p >
I LIKE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
AND SOMETHING IS ONLY ASKING OVER, YOU KNOW?
SPIRIT GRABBED ME.
AND I LIKE, "& apos; SUP, KANE? & apos;
AND HEAD HEAD WHO COME AROUND, AND HE LIKE," YOU? "
AND I LIKE, "NUH-UH, IT'S NOT ME.
" SOMEONE OVER THERE IS THAT SHIT.
THAT NO. "</ P>
IF YOU NEVER SEE THE KANE DADDY IRON, PLEASE DO THE SAME AS IT. </ P>
EVERY WEEK, OTHER CITIES FOR ME. </ P >
I GET THE SAME QUESTION EVERY WEEK BY PEOPLE.
"ARE PEOPLE SAME WHERE WHERE?"
TIDAK.
SOME SPOTS AND THEY HAVE A SHITTIER.
I ONLY GIVE YOU SOCIOLOGY LEVELS.
HOW ABOUT IT? You like that?
HERE ONE UNIVERSAL TRUTH ABOUT PEOPLE, ENOUGH.
THIS ONE IS TRUE,
AND THAT IS EVERYONE
JUST WANT TO CONTACT.
IT'S NOT A PROBLEM WHERE YOU GO, OR WHAT LANGUAGE YOU SPEAK,
PEOPLE WANT ONLY TO CONTACT.
AND YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE CHEMISTRY WITH SOMEBODY.
YOU KNOW IF YOU LIKE, "I WANT TO OUT WITH THIS PERSON,"
OR "I WANT FOR THE DATE OF THIS PEOPLE,"
OR "I WANT TO APPRECIATE THIS PEOPLE TO THE BOTTOM
" I AM GREAT BIG AND THEIR DRIVE < br /> AROUND FOR A TIME
"AND THEIR MILES 18 MILES WEST LAKE WORTH.
AND WHEN I DRIVE BY, I WILL GIVE BONER."
WE ALL HAVE THIS THOUGHT, RIGHT? </ P>
SOMETHING IS NOTHING,
AND PEOPLE TRY TO DECIDE IMMEDIATELY. </ P>
I THINK THAT SHIT & APO ; S RUDE. </ P>
I CHECKED TO THE HOTEL SOME WEEKS. </ P>
GUY COMES FROM STOP COUNTER
AND HE GOES , "WHERE DO YOU COME?"
I SAY, "LOS ANGELES."
AND HE GOES, "YEAH, I LOVE THE FAMILY IN DENVER. "</ P>
AND I LIKE, " ONCE DIFFICULTY. "</ P>
AND HE GOES," YEAH, THEY HAVE A FURNITURE SHOP. "
I LOVE SIT ON FURNITURE.
WE ARE TWO FOR TWO.
I HAVE SHOES. DO YOU HAVE SHOES ON?
DO YOU WANT WALKING AROUND?
THERE IS NO THERE.
SOMETIMES, THERE IS NO THERE.
And that's fine
WITH EVERYONE ON THE PLANET.
THAT WILL BE REQUIRED.
YOU MUST EMBRACE IT.
I DO IT.
YOU MUST DO IT.
YOUR FOLLOWING TIME IN THE BAR
OR YOU ARE JUST OUT STREETS,
AND SOMEONE GOES, < br /> "HE BRO."
JUST GO, "NOPE.
LIKE," I JUST SAY MY FRIENDS WHAT TIME IS. "
YOU WILL FEEL LIKE A DICK, BUT THEN YOU GET FASTER FAST.
I FIND YOURSELF LIKE," HEY, MAN,
"ARE OTHERS LOOKING FOR THIS SHIT NOW?
DO I HAVE PARALLEL FINDING A UNIVERSE OR SOMETHING?"
LIKE, I HAVE TO BUY A COFFEE ONLY SOME WEEKS OF AGO
FROM A COFFEE PLACE.
THERE IS NO CONFUSION ONLY.
I DO NOT GO TO SHOE STORE. </ P>
I GO TO A COFFEE PLACE, okay? </ P>
I GO TO LADY WHERE COUNTER,
AND I GO, < br /> "CAN I HAVE A COFFEE?"
AND HE GOES, "GOOD, WE HAVE SPECIAL PROMOTIONS,
" AND TODAY, FOR $ 2, < br /> YOU CAN GET THIS BEVERAGE,
"AND HAVE VANILLA, AND - AND There is CREIP WHIPPED
AND THERE IS THE SPRINKLE."
AND I LIKE, " THAT. </ P>
" I DO NOT WANT IT. </ P>
MAY I HAVE A COFFEE? "
" AND HE GOES, IT WAS THE LAST DAY...
THIS SPECIAL PROMOTION. "
AND I LIKE, " OH, I THINK I'M UNDERSTANDING
"COMPLETE SPACE PROMOTION.
MAY I HAVE A COFFEE?"
AND HE LIKE, "YOU HAVE ACCIDENTS."
THIS IS THIS, THIS WOMEN WAS ENORMOUS, OK?
HE IS HU - HE LOOKS LIKE FOUR PEOPLE ARE TRAVELING TO ONE.
LIKE I LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT? </ P>
" YOU ARE SUPER FAT. </ P>
"YOU KNOW WHEN TASTES SHIT GOOD. </ P>
CALCULATED HOOK. I WANT TO TRY IT, ALL RIGHT? "</ P>
AND HE GOES, " IT'S $ 2. "</ P>
AND I GO, "OK."
AND THEN I EXTENDED A $ 20,
AND HE GOES...
AND I GO, > "PLEASE ME?" </ P>
DAN DIA GOES, "AKU TIDAK MEMILIKI PERUBAHAN UNTUK ITU. "
AND I LIKE, "OH, SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO NOW?
DO YOU SAY I AM TOO MUCH MONEY TO SHOP HERE?"
AND HE GOES, "WE CAN'T HANDLE IT."
AND I LIKE, "HAVE IT?
THIS IS 20."
LIKE, I DON'T PUT THE HOPE DIAMOND TO THE COUNTER,
AND GO, "IMAGE IT, STUPID."
LIKE, IT WAS REASONABLE, TRUE? </ P>
AND HE'S ONLY ALL LEADERS. </ P>
LIKE, MM. </ P>
AND I GO, "NOTHING? YOU DO NOT HAVE A SOLUTION? "
AND HE GOES, " ARE YOU STILL A COFFEE VISIT? "
I LIKE," YEAH. THAT PART NEVER CHANGES. </ P>
WHY DO I HERE. "</ P>
AKU PERGI, "ANDA TIDAK BISA KATAKAN SEMUA INI? "
AND HE GOES, "YOU CAN ASK YOU SOME OTHERS FOR CHANGE."
AND I GO, "OTHER CUSTOMERS IN LINE?"
AND HE GOES, "YEAH." </ P>
AND I GO, "WHAT ABOUT THE BOX
WITH THE BUTTON IN YOUR FRONT?" </ P>
AND HE GOES...
YOU'RE TURNING AROUND FOR PEOPLE,
AND I GO, "PERMISSION,
" DO YOU EVERYTHING HAVE A CHANGE? "
AND EVERYTHING LIKE, " YOU HAVE ASSHOLE. "
" LIKE, YOU WILL BE IN A PLACE TO GET A CHANGE.
YOU ARE RIGHT THERE. "
GOOD, THEN THIS IS ARABIC GUY - AND I DON'T SAY
THAT MEANS ANYTHING - BUT HE,
JADI MENGAPA MENINGGALKAN ITU KELUAR DARI CERITA?
HE WAS GOING, "I HAVE EVERYTHING."
AND I LIKE, "OH."
AND THEN HE OPENED THE LICENSE
AND HER EVERY DENOMINATION FROM EVERY CURRENT
LIKE, WHERE CAN I GO, "I WANT ONE OF THEM,
AND I WANT ONE THEY, AND I WANT ONE - "
HE'S LIKE, " YES YES. </ P>
NOW, ENJOY YOUR PUSY DRINK. "</ P >
GOOD. GO.
AND I WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING.
I DRANK THAT THE PUSSY BEVERAGE,
AND THAT'S THE BEST SHIT > CALLED, SO TAKE YOUR CHANCES. </ P>
BUT IT WILL BE COOL IF YOU WANT FOR TOMORROW STARBUCKS,
PUSSY MINUMAN SELAMANYA.
AKU TIDAK PASTIKAN BAHWA APA ITU MEREKA DIPANGGIL, SO TAKE YOUR CHANCES.
TAPI ITU AKAN COOL JIKA ANDA INGIN UNTUK TOMORROW STARBUCKS,
AND YOU LIKE, UH, "CAN I GET A PUSY BEVERAGE?"
AND THEY LIKE, "I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
WAITING FOR EVERYTHING. "
WE CAN ONLY AGREE TO ONE THI - WE CAN ONLY
FUCKING GET ONBOARD WITH FACT
THAT IS THE TIME TO SEE END TO MAN
WHO WALK IN PUBLIC WITH COWBOY HAT ON,
LIKE HE DOESN'T BECOME HOB PUBLIC COWBOY? </ P>
I SEE THEM EVERYWHERE. </ P>
BANKS, GROCERY STORES, AIRPORTS. </ P>
AND NOW, DO NOT JUST DO I SEE GUYS < br /> BECOME A COWBOY HATS,
BUT THEY HAVE ADOPTED PERSONAL COWBOY.
LIKE WHERE THEY THINK THEY ACTUAL FUCKING - LIKE -
[snickers]
GOOD, PARDON ME, MA & apos; AM.
I'M GOING TO SAY YOU WHAT.
I WOULD SAY YOU WHAT.
I WILL TELL YOU WHAT.
YOU ARE LOOKING FOR FUCKING RIDICULOUS NOW ALSO. </ P>
LIKE, YOU COWBOY, REALLY? </ P>
COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO. </ P>
A-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG -BANG-BANG. </ P>
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. </ P>
HERE I WANT FROM COWBOYS. </ P>
ONLY COWBOY IS ALL HOW TO, GOOD ?
WORKING WITH LIVESTOCK.
LIKE, IF SOMEBODY SAYS, "LET & AP; S GO GET A BEER."
I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY, "I HAVE TO HAVE SOME SHEEP." </ P>
END OF YOUR SITE WITH PISTOL. </ P>
IF SOMEBODY CUTS YOU OFF IN LINE, LIKE,
"BUT I AM IN SALOON IN NOON. </ P>
I AM A COWBOY." </ P>
AND YOU ARE BETTER RIDE HORSE WHERE EVERYWHERE.
IF YOU SHOW HOLD COWBOY, YOU MUST NOT BE ALLOWED
FOR A CAR SIT IN OR LOOK AT PLANES.
YOU MUST LIKE, "I'M GOING TO SAY YOU WHAT. </ P>
" I'M GOING TO SAY YOU WHAT. </ P>
SAN FRANCISCO MAKE SURE IS A PRETTY CITY. "
YEAH, I SEE YOU THERE ARE IN SIX MONTHS,
WHEN YOU GET THERE AT YOUR FUCKING HOLY.
IF YOU ARE COWBOY, THEN I'M TRUE. </ P>
I KNOW, AND I GONNA WEAR ARMOR EVERY DAY,
IN SOMEONE'S CASE WANT TO BE TOGETHER .
AND YOU LEAVE MYSELF,
BECAUSE I DO IT QUEEN WORK.
OK, MUMMY?
YOU KNOW WHO LIKES TO BE COWBOYS MORE THAN ANYTHING? </ P>
APAKAH ANDA TAHU SIAPA? TIGA TAHUN.
BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT DEVELOPED YET.
AND THEY GO, "MOMMY." [imitating weapons]
AND YOU GO, "YES, YOU COWBOY.
"AND YOUR SUSTER IS THE PRINCIPLE.
" AND YOUR FATHER FUCKING BATMAN.
"& apos; CAUSE YOU'RE LIVING IN LA-LA LAND. </ P>
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL COME NOW. "
COWBOY HATS MUST COME WITH HOME.
& apos; CAUSE I FEEL LIKE THE SAME IT IS BUYING ONE
BUY OTHER ANYWAY, YOU KNOW? </ P>
[laughter and applause]
"TRY CHECK. </ P>
" & apos; 87. </ P>
I DESTROY 14 TOUCHDOWNS THE YEAR. "
" WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? "
" I'M JUST THINKING & APPS; ABOUT KILLING MYSELF . "
WHY DO YOU NOT GET CORVETTE AND MAKE IT ALL KIT?
MM.
[sighs] I AM ONLY MY REALIZATION FUCKING -
p>
I HAVE A HOBBY.
IT & apos; S PROBABLY SADDEST,
THE MOST PATHETIC HOBBY IS THERE.
AND IT'S JUST WATCHING TELEVISION SHOWS. </ P>
WHAT IS LAMER FROM, LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO BE HAPPY? </ P>
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY?" "OH, FUCKING, I watching TV. "
IT'S SO INDICATIVE FROM OUR COUNTRY
AND, LIKE, SOME PEOPLE AMAZING WITH THEM, LIKE - </ p >
"OH, I B - I BUY FURNITURE."
YOU LIKE, "Is your JOB?"
"NO NO. I am a UROLOGIST. "</ P>
OH, I like it - I like TO WATCH MY SHOWS.
I DON'T LIKE HOW TO PEOPLE THOUGH KNOCK TV.
IT'S ALL ALL < br>> THE SAME CLICHE SHIT
THEY SAID WHEN WE ARE CHILDREN,
THEY NOW SAY AS BOARD, TRUE?
THEY LIKE, OH, YOU KNOW ,
YOU - YOU KNOW, YOU WATCH MORE TV,
IT'S YOUR THOUGHT, OR, YOU CANNOT LEARN
ANYTHING OF TELEVISION.
BUT IT IS NOT TRUE.
YOU CAN LEARN MUCH FROM TELEVISION.
EXAMPLES, WITHOUT TELEVISION,
I HAVE NO IDEA
THAT PREVENT FAILURE IS OUT OF FUCKING MIND. </ P>
OR ALIVE. </ P>
I ALSO DO NOT KNOW THAT. </ P>
HE HAS A SHOW. </ P>
Ini bukan sebuah SHOW SCRIPTED.
IT FOLLOWS AROUND THE REAL STEVEN FAILED.
AND EVERY EPISODE BEGINS WITH HIM LOOKING FOR CAMERA
AND SAYING, "I DON'T KNOW /> IF YOU KNOW THIS OR NOT,
BUT FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS, I'VE BEEN A COP. "</ P>
AND YOU LIKE, " WHAT YOU'RE NEW SAYING? </ P>
"MY THOUGHTS YOU'VE MAKE SHITTY MOVIES
" FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS. </ P>
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING? "
AND YOU SHOW THIS SHOW, HE HAS THE MOST EXCELLENT QUALITY
WHERE HUMAN, WHO IS THAT IS THE EXPERT
IN EVERYTHING. </ P>
REALLY, IF THE DOG WALKS BY,
HE'S LIKE, "IT IS A SHIH TZU, BOXER, HOUND MIX RIGHT IS THERE." </ P >
AND THEY LIKE, "HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?"
HE'S LIKE, "I HAVE WORKED WITH DOGS FOR, LIKE 35 YEARS."
THEN, THE HELICOPTER STAR BY.
HE LIKE, "That's HUB-106." </ P>
AND THEY LIKE, "HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?" </ P>
AND HE LIKE, "I HAVE A FLYING HELICOPTER
FOR, LIKE, 47 YEARS. "
THEN THAT IS INTENDED, THAT EVERYONE DOES NOT
WHO KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT EVERYTHING .
EVERYONE HAS A FRIEND, THERE IS NO PROBLEM WHAT YOU DO,
THEY KNOW HISTORY WAS ALL, THEY KNOW EVERY TOPIC, </ p >
EVERY FUCKING FACT.
IF YOU EAT NIGHT EAT,
THEY LIKE, "YOU KNOW, FORKS ARE FROM ROME,
AND THEY WILL START THEM OUT OF BARK. "
AND YOU LIKE, "DO YOU CLOSE UP FUCK,
AND LET ME FINISH THIS PLEASE?"
AS WELL AS TO DO THAT, TOO, BUT YOU KNOW HE MAKES IT UP. </ P>
HE WILL LIKE, "YOU KNOW, THEY ALSO CALL THAT HELICOPTER
SKIPPY." </ P>
AND THEY LIKE, "WHY?" </ P>
AND HE GOES, "LISTENING THAT." </ P>
SKIP-SKIP-SKIP-SKIP-SKIP-- IT WAS EMPTY. </ P>
YOU MAKE THAT SHIT UP. </ P>
"NAH, SERIOUS." </ P>
IT'S MY THOUGHT BLOWS - IT'S REALLY WHAT - THAT EVERYONE
IN THIS ROOM - EVERYONE - HAS THE POSSIBILITY OF REAL WORLD
IN THEIR LIFE - ALL AS, WE CAN GO TONIGHT,
IF WE WANT - TONIGHT, YOU CAN GO TO LOUISIANA,
YOU CAN START A FIGHT IN A BAR,
AND THERE'S POSSIBLE REAL WORLD
THAT PREVENT FAILURE
WILL LOVE YOU. </ P>
Isn't that important to you? </ P>
I LOST SLEEP OVER SHIT THIS. </ P>
I MEAN, IT'S CRAZY. </ P> >
IT WAS LIKE AS IF YOU STAY HERE,
AND YOU ROLL THROUGH SIGN STOP,
AND THEN, STREONE SYLVESTER > LIKE, "HEY, ROLL IT DOWN." </ P>
"AND YOU LIKE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. </ P>
YOU WORK HERE?" </ P >
AND HE LIKE, "IT'S MY PASSION."
"WILL SAY ADRIAN OR SOMETHING?"
"NAH."
p>
IT IS NUTS.
YOU MUST WATCH THIS SHOW.
KNOWING FULL WELL THERE IS A CREW CAMERA
NEXT ONCE.
HE DOES NOT GIVE YOU A SHIT.
IF YOU ARE WHITE, HE'S LIKE, < br> "HOW DOES THE PHARMACEUTICAL?
WELL." [snickers]
AND THEN, TO BLACK PEOPLE, HE'S LIKE, "WHAT IS, CUZ ? "
AND THEY LIKE, " HAI WHAT IS THE NEWS? "
" I HOLD YOU DOWN, SO HOLLER IF YOU NEED SOMETHIN. "
"GOOD."
THEN, FOR ALL LATINOS -
SPANISH SPEAKS PEOPLE - HE INSISTS SPEAKS
HORRIFICALLY SPAIN BROKEN,
EVEN IF THEY START UP CONVERSATIONS IN ENGLISH.
IF THEY LIKE,
"HEY, YEAH , I CALL 911. </ P>
TERIMA KASIH SUDAH DATANG."
THE PROBLEM IS-- HE'S LIKE, "AH, HOLD ON.
MUCHO QUESO."
THEY LIKE, "I THINK ENGLISH
HOW IS BETTER FROM YOU SPANISH, MAN." </ P>
AND HE LIKE, "NO GRACIAS. "
AND THEN, TO ALL ASIANS, HE BOWS,
WITHOUT WHERE HE MEETS THEM. </ P>
IF YOU ARE ASIAN, AND YOU SEE PROTECT PATH AS FAILED,
HE'S LIKE, "HA." </ P>
AND THEY GO, "HEY, I'M BORN IN HERE, YOU DICK. </ P>
LIKE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT. "</ P>
AND HE LIKE," SORRY. </ P>
I DO MARTIAL ARTS < br /> FOR, LIKE, 85 YEARS. "
He trained others IN HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT.
I THINK THAT INFURIATING.
FOR THEY.
Not from TripAdvisor LLC WE STOP,
WE LIKE, "HEY, MAN, DO YOU WANT TO DO, LIKE ,
"A COUPLE SHOTS, AND THEN GO TO THE ROAD?
PREVENT AS FAST IS A TEACHER HOW TO DO PUNCHES. "
AND WE LIKE," okay. LET & apos; S FUCKING GO. "
NO. IT & Sos; S YOU ARE COP, AND YOU SHOW THE WORK,
AND THEY LIKE, " WE GONNA GO OVER
"HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT TODAY, SO YOU CAN PROTECT YOURSELF
IF YOU ARE REALLY TRUE HAZARDOUS SITUATIONS."
YOU LIKE, "OH COOL.
" WHO ARE YOU BRINGING IN TO TEACH US?
LIKE, SOME NAVY SEALS, OR DANGEROUS GREEN? "
AND THEY GO, "NO.
WE THINK IN PREVENTING FAILED."
AND YOU LIKE, "DO WE LOVE FUCKING FILM
THIS WEEK OR SOMETHING? "
THEY LIKE, UH-UH. "
" Okay, I'll be back, & apos; CAUSE IT'S RIDICULOUS.
I DO NOT WANT TO BE PART OF IT. "
IT WAS LIKE AS IF YOU WANT, LIKE, AT NASA,
AND THEY LIKE," ALL RIGHT, ASTRONAUTS FUTURE. </ p >
"WE GONNA GO OVER SPACE SPACE EXPLORATION,
" AND GETTING STARTED, WHY DO YOU WELCOME TO CAPTAIN?
COME ON OUT, MAN. "
AND YOU LIKE, " HE'S QUALIFYING TO DO IT? "
AND THEY LIKE," OH, YOU SHOULD DO ALL THAT SHIT.
"YEAH, HE KNOWS WHAT WAS STARTING ABOUT, MAN.
He was already there."
THEY SHOW PEOPLE TEACHING IT THE FOLLOWING WAY.
THIS IS TERRIBLE. HE LOOKS NOW.
HE DOES NOT HAVE THE SAME RANGE.
HE'S LIKE, "EVERYONE IS DEAD." </ P>
IF SOMEBO-- IF SOMEBODY THROUGH PUNCH,
YOU CAN-- YOU CAN MAKE IT LIKE THAT.
[exhale]
AND THEN - AND THEN,
YOU CAN KICK & EM; EM IN THROAT LIKE IT.
ARE YOU BINDING CHILDREN? IN THROAT RIGHT NOW? </ P>
SOME THROATS OF PEOPLE COME THERE. </ P>
I like the MOST HAVARTI CHEESE .
WHAT IS YOUR SUCCESS?
UM, I AM SORRY THAT IAT FAT.
I JUST DECLARE HOW FAT I HOW TO FOLLOW I HAVE TO
FROM JUST DOING THEY ARE LITTLE MOVEMENT.
[groans]
JESUS THAT IS CONTENT.
MY SOMETIMES ONLY SEE IN MIRROR,
AND I LIKE, "FUCK."
I WISH TO BE YOURSELF ALL TIME. I'M CHEAT. </ P>
LIKE, I LOOK AT THE MIRROR, AND I LIKE, "HMM. </ P>
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING LIKE. "</ P>
IT IS ALL THIS LITTLE THING THAT YOU DO NOT THINK ABOUT
AND YOU JUST DO IT AUTOMATICALLY -
HERE I REALLY HAVE TO CALL YOURSELF.
I GET BECOME A SHOWER IN THE HOTEL,
AND THAT IS THE > ONE OF THIS BATHROOM
MANA ADA HANYA CERMIN di mana-mana.
AND AS I STEP IN BATHROOM,
I AM LOOKING FOR, AND I LIKE, "YES GOD."
LIKE, " LOOK AT YOU. </ P>
"I CAN'T BELIEVE IN SOMEONE LETS YOU FUCK THEM. </ P>
THIS IS CRAZY." </ P>
I LIKE IT LIKE IT
> WHEN I EAT MY INSTITUTION. </ P>
I FEEL LIKE IT'S GOOD BAD FOR MY DAY. </ P>
YOU KNOW, I'M EATING, AND THEN I GO -
[staggering deeply]
BETTER SOME MOMENTS THEN, WHEN YOU GET THINK ABOUT IT,
AND YOU LIKE, "WHY DO I JUST STOP?"
TO TAKE BREATH DEEP.
OH YES.
MY BODY ALSO NEEDS WATER,
YOU FAT FUCKING TURD.
MAY NOT BE A FATTEST THING.
I THINK FATTEST THING YOU CAN DO
EAT EATING OTHER PEOPLE, TRUE? </ p >
LIKE, IF YOU EAT AND YOU SEE OTHER GUAT FAT,
AND YOU LIKE, THAT GUY LOOKS DELICIOUS,
YOU ARE SUPER FAT .
I DON'T DO IT.
I, BUT, GO TO EAT.
I GO FOR BREAKFAST. I HAVE A CROISSANT. </ p >
EVERYONE KNOWS What is meant by CROISSANT?
IT IS A FLAKY-LOOKING THING.
I am one, AND ONE ENOUGH.
AND THEN LEFT THIS PLACE,
AND I WALK THE ROAD.
AND I SAW A BAKERY, AND I LIKE,
"I WANT WHAT THEY ARE SMALL IT WAS LIKE."
SO I HAVE A SECOND PLACE
TO RENT A BREAD TO MY FORM, FAT MOUTH.
AND A GREAT PAYOFF DO I WAS DONE,
I HAD TO GO, "OH, NO. </ P>
"THE FIRST POSITION HAS A BETTER CROISSANT. </ P>
YES." </ P>
I have a CATARTROPHIK DIARE THIS MORNING.
AND I'M JUST FOUND
THAT IS NOT EVERYONE.
HERE HOW WAS I FOUND.
WE MOVED - I AM NATURE AND I < br>> MOVED TO A NEW PLACE.
IN A NEW PLACE, LIVING ROOM
VERY PLEASANT THAT THE BATHROOM IS IN THE OLD PLACE.
SO THERE'S THE SECOND DAY, I GO THERE, I DO MY THINGS.
WHEN I WALK OUT, MY CONTENTS THERE IS NO OLD SITTING IN COUCH.
I'M NOW STANDING, HOLDING CAR KEYS.
AND HE GOES, "DO YOU NEED GO TO HOSPITALS?"
AND I GO, "FOR WHAT?"
AND HE GOES, "FOR WHAT JUST HAPPENS HERE. "</ P>
AND I GO, " WHAT HAPPENED THERE? "</ P>
AND HE GOES, " Is that NORMAL FOR YOU? "</ P>
AND I LIKE," I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED,
SO I GUESS SO. "</ P>
HE GOES, "JESUS, HOW DOES IT DO YOU LOVE IT LIKE IT?" </ P>
AND I LIKE, "EVERY DAY." </ P>
HE GOES, "OH, GOD MY. THERE'S BLOOD THERE? "</ P>
THERE CAN BE. I don't know
I JUST GO, BAP! AND I CONTACT FLUSH .
AND HE GOES, "YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR IT?"
AND I GO, "WHERE AM I CAN SEEK?
"ANYWHERE.
" YOU WANT ME TO SEE EVERYONE IS INDIVIDUAL?
NO, I LOOK AT THE BOWL, AND THEN I LOVED IT AWAY. "
IT'S HOW I WAS FOUND, IN 34 OLD YEARS,
THAT EVERYONE IS HAS DIARRED EVERYDAY.
I FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW, GIVE YOU MUST GET ONE LAST JAB TOO,
& apos; CAUSE THE FIRST OF ALL, THIS IS NOT EVEN ARGUMENT. </ P>
THIS IS CONVERSATION. </ P>
AND HE WON CONVERSATION, okay? </ P>
HE DOS IT. </ P>
I FEEL HORRIBLE ABOUT MY DIGESTIVE SYSTEM.
YOU WIN. IT'S SETTLED.
I'M SITTING ON-- I WRITE, LIKE...
[sighs] < br /> IN SOFA.
HE MUST LEAVE TODAY, RIGHT?
AND HE KNOWS AT THE DOOR AS HE LEAVE HOME,
AND HE GOES, "YOU KNOW, YOU MAY GONNA DIE."
AND I LIKE, "COOL, BABE. HAVE YOUR FUN DAY. </ P>
I WILL MEET YOU WHEN YOU GET HOME." </ P>
THE STORY I START THINKING ABOUT IT,
AND I LIKE, "MAY I GONNA DIE." </ P>
I GO DOCTOR THAT DAY,
AND I & apos; M - I & apos; M GONNA BE REALLY HONEST WITH YOU. </ P>
I GO TO THE DOCTOR, AND I LIKE, "ALL RIGHT. </ P>
I'M JUST GONNA GETS CHECK, SEE WHAT WILL GO. "</ P>
HONEST TRUTH IS I KNOW
IT'S NOT GONNA BE AWESOME, OK? </ P>
I KNOW THE DOCTOR IS NOT GONNA LIKE,
"YOU MAY HAPPEN HEAR THIS, BUT YOU ARE PERFECT.
LIKE, YOU ARE PERFECT PHYSICAL SPECIMEN, MAN. "
I KNOW THAT GONNA DON'T HAPPEN,
BUT I DON'T EXPECT IT TO BE A DICK.
USUYA, THEY DON'T .
I FEEL LIKE IN MY EXPERIENCE, DOCTORS ARE POLITICS.
ALMOST OVERLY POLITE,
WHERE IT'S FONI AND CONDUCTCENDING. </ P>
WHEN THEY GO,
"AH, THE STORY IS REALLY ATTRACTING YOU GET THERE. "
DOCTORS DO THAT BECAUSE YOU SAY THEIR STORIES,
AND THE DOCTOR DOES NOT WANT TO HEAR STORIES.
DOCTORS WANT TO LISTEN "THIS IS ASSURING,"
NO "I AM AT YOUR FRIENDS CHARLIE HOUSE,
" AND WE HAVE TO MOVE OTTOMAN, AND -
"I MEAN, YOU CAN USE IT AS A COFFEE TUBE,
"OR YOU CAN USE IT AS AUTTOMAN.
YOU'RE PARTY," AND YOUR DOCTOR LIKE,
"I WANT TO BLOW MY FUCKING BRAIN NOW NOW. "</ P>
I go there, I SIT ON THE EXAM TABLE,
WHICH IS MY FAVORITE WRITING FOR SIT ON IN THE WORLD
& apos; BUT THAT IS ONLY TABLE THAT, IN 30 YEARS,
I'M ONE WHERE MY FEET DO NOT TOUCH THE LAND.
LIKE I FEEL LIKE FUCKING TODDLER, WAITING LIKE -
[giggles]
MY DOCTOR COMES IN. HE DOES NOT SAY HELLO. </ P>
HE DOESN'T SAY GOOD MORNING. HE WAS JUST running on.
HE'S POINT IN ME, WHAT IS SUPER AGGRESSIVE, YOU KNOW,
TO START CONVERSION WITH SOMEONE. </ P>
SEPERTI, "HEY, MAN." ANDA SEPERTI, "HEY.
WHAT IS THERE? "
AND HE GOES," DO YOU WANT SOMETHING FOR YOUR HAIR? "
AND I GO," WHAT? "
AND HE GOES," DO YOU WANT SOMETHING FOR YOUR HAIR? "
AND I GO, " I DON'T GET IT. "
AND HE GOES, " SHOULD NOT TELL YOU
WHAT IS YOUR HAIR HAIR? "
I LIKE, " DAMN NO. "
AND HE GOES, " Ah, sorry. "
I LIKE , "ALL RIGHT." </ P>
THEN HE PULLS MY CHART OUT OF SLOTS, SUPER DRAMATICS,
SO THAT MAKES WALKING NOISE
HE WAS-- [exhaled]
I LIKE-- AND HE GOES,
"WOW!" AND I LIKE, "TRUE, & apos; WOW & apos;? </ P>
IS IT FULL-BLOWN AIDS? "
LIKE, "WHY & WHERE; WOW & apos;?"
AND HE GOES, "YOU LOVE 245."
AND I GO LIKE, "YEAH, < br /> LIKE, I KNOW THAT SHIT. "
AND HE GOES," YOU HEAR 230 YOUR LAST TIME HERE.
NOT EXACTLY WHAT I WILL CALL WEIGHT LOSS! "
I LIKE," DO WE'VE BEEN VERY CHEAP OR SOMETHING? "
LIKE," WHAT ARE YOU DOING? "
THEN SAY,
"YOU KNOW YOU ARE A FATTEST PATIENT
I LOOK AT THE DAY."
AND I GO, "THAT'S 9:30 AM IN THE MORNING."
AND HE GOES, "STILL."
HE'S LIKE, "YOU KNOW, WE HAVE BLOOD WORK YOU. </ P>
TI MENGHIDUPKAN ENZYM MUSIK ANDA MELALUI ATAP. "
AND I GO, "YEAH, MAN, LIKE, I AM SUPER STRONG.
LIKE, HOW IS IT A MEN'S PROBLEM?"
AND HE GOES, "THEY BECOME THE CHARTS." </ P>
I LIKE, "EVEN BETTER. </ P>
I MAYBE YOUR STRONG PATIENT, MAN." </ P>
AND HE GOES, "I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND MUSCLE ENZYMES." </ P>
AND I GO, "IT'S TRUE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE." </ P>
AND HE GOES, "GOOD, THE WAY JUST YOU CAN HAVE THEM THIS IS HIGH
" WOULD, LIKE, & apos; A, & apos; IF YOU ARE AN OLYMPIC ATLET,
WHO, CLEAR YOU NOT. "
I LIKE, " DUDE, WHAT IS DEAL, MAN? "
AND HE GOES, " ANOTHER WAY TO
IF YOU BECOME A ADDICT COCAINE. "
AND I GO," I DO NOT DO COKE. "
AND HE GOES, "I AM YOUR DOCTOR. YOU MUST NOT FUN ME."
AND I GO, "I AM NOT LYING."
AND HE GOES, "I CAN'T TREAT YOU IF YOU ARE NOT GONNA BECOME HONEST." </ P>
AND I GO, "HEY, MAN, WHAT IS SKIN GLORY? </ P>
NOTHING, LIKE, PART OF DEAL? "</ P>
AND HE GOES," AS, YEAH. "</ P>
NURSE COMES IN. </ P>
HE TAKES MY GUIDE FROM HANDS,
AND HE GOES, "OH, MY LORD. </ P>
" THE MUSIC ENZYM IS VERY HIGH. </ P>
MAY HAVE RUNNED MARATHON. "
AND MY DOCTOR GOES, " SEE HIM. "
SO IN THIS POINT, I GO, " THIS IS MUCH FUN.
"THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME TODAY.
I GONNA STAY NOW, " AND HE GOES," ALL RIGHT. "
THEN HE GOES, " HO - HOLD ON A SECOND.
DO YOU HAVE RING ON YOUR FINGER? "
AND I GO," YEAH. " AND HE GOES," YOU ARE LOOKING FOR? "
AND I GO," YEAH, " AND HE GOES, "TOWARDS GUY?" </ P>
AND I GO, "NO." </ P>
AND HE GOES, "OH. I THOUGHT YOU ARE GAY. "
AND I GO," WHY? " AND HE GOES," I DON'T KNOW. "
I LIKE, " ALL RIGHT, DUDE. "
AND HE GOES, " HEY, I'M JUST KIDDING. "
AND I GO," IT WAS GOOD. " He left," BUT CHECK THAT. "</ P>
AND HE TAKES MY GUIDE, AND HE SHOWS ME,
DAN DIA TELAH TERTULIS "GAY?"
IN MY MEDICAL SITES.
[laughter and applause]
THINGS YOU CAN SEND FOR OTHER DOCTORS
HAVE IN IT.... [chuckles]
"MAY BE WRITTEN IN THE" LELUCARA COCK WRITE IT.
I live at home I TELL ME.
HE'S LIKE, "OH, GOD, WHAT WILL YOU DO?"
AND I LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU MEANING?"
AND HE GOES, "I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU Has GONNA GOED THERE?"
I LIKE, "ARE YOU FROM YOUR THOUGHTS?
"THAT'S FUNNIEST FUCKING DOCTOR IN THE WORLD.
COURSE IT I WILL RETURN THERE. "
I HAVE, LIKE, DON RICKLES AS MY PHYSICAL PRIMARY CARE.
IT WAS OUTSTANDING.
AKU MENYUKAI CUKUP KEMBALI KE GUY INI.
"YOU KNOW YOU LOVE SHIT."
I LOVE, "I KNOW."
HE LOVES AMAZING.
YES GOD .
I THINK DEATH.
I JUST WANT TO BE CAREFUL, YOU KNOW?
LIKE, IF I DIE HOLY, YOU KNOW,
Maybe I HAVE, LIKE,
SERENA WILLIAMS SITTING ON MY FACE,
AND - I DON'T KNOW, VENUS CAPTURES I DIE,
AND THEY TRY TO FUN RACKETS IN MY ASS
OR SUCH AS IT. </ P>
THEN MY TOURISTS IN, BOOM , AND I, LIKE, FUCKING DONE.
IT WAS FUN IT WAS.
I DON'T WANT IT BECOME A DUMB DEATH.
I FEEL LIKE THE DEATH OF DUMB THAT THEY ARE STRONG TYPES,
LIKE, IN NEWS. They do it
THEY & apos; LL LIKE, IN LOCAL NEWS -
THEY & apos; LL LIKE, "AND THEN, ALSO COME,
" GUY TRIED TO GET SODA OUT OF A VENDING MACHINE,
AND IT'S GOOD. "
AND THEY LIKE -
AND YOU LIKE -
& apos; CAUSE THAT COULD HAPPEN YOU ARE.
IT CAN, LIKE, YOU KNOW,
LIKE, I WILL GO TO MALL FUCKING,
AND THEN I HAVE A STAFF, AND THEN THEY SEND NEWS CREW ,
AND THEY LIKE, "WHAT HAPPENED?"
AND INTERVIEWS THE DUMBEST FUCKING GUY,
AND HE LIKE , "I SEE HIM FALL.
THEN HE DOES NOT MOVE NO MORE. "
AND YOU LIKE, " IT'S MY EULOGY?
THANK YOU MUCH, MAN. "
I LIKE I'M GONNA DIE SOME MONTHS THEN.
I CALL THE CAR SERVICE TO TAKE ME TO THE AIRPORT.
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU LIKE, "I GOT 60 BUCKS. </ P>
LET & apos; S FUCKING DO THIS, TRUE?" </ P>
CAR FOR THIS NICE COME TO HOME. </ P p>
GUY GETS OUT. HE MUST HAVE WHITE HAIR.
MANY OLD HUMANS.
FROM THE BEGINNING,
HE MAKES ME NOT ACCORDING WHEN he calls me SIR. </ P>
I don't know IF YOU NEVER HAVE A GUY
HOW MORE THAN YOU'RE CONTACT YOU SIR.
YOU LIKE, "HEY, MAN. YOU, LIKE, 1,000 OLD YEARS.
" YOU HAVE A WEEKS COUPLE TO LIVE, POSSIBLE. </ p >
HOW TO ABOUT US DROP FORMALITY, okay? "
I GET A CAR, HE GOES, "THE ALL RIGHT TEMPERATURE, SIR?"
I GO, "IT'S GOOD."
He goes, "YOU WANT WATER BOTTLES, SIR? "</ P>
AND I GO," YOU DON'T MUST CALL SIR. </ P>
YOU CAN JUST CALL ME TOM. "
AND AT THE MOMENT,
ALL THE PROFESSIONALISM WENT OUT THE WINDOW.
& apos; CAUSE VERY NEXT HERE, "YOU HAVE WE? "</ P>
AND I LIKE, " I MEAN, YEAH, SOMETHING. "</ P>
AND HE GOES, " DO YOU WANT TO USE SOME NOW? "
AND I LIKE, " I MEAN, YEAH. "
BUT I DON'T THINK MY DRIVER SHOULD OFFER ME, YOU KNOW? </ p >
HE DOES NOT MISS A BEAT.
HE OPENED CONSOLUTES. He took a JOINT.
HE LIGHTS IT. He replied back.
I HAVE RESPECT, RIGHT? & apos; CAUSE HER OLD.
AND THEN I GIVE BACK TO HIM, AND THE FOLLOWING THAT SAYS IS,
"YEAH, I CANNOT DRIVE EXCEPT I WALK." </ P>
I LOVE, "DO YOU LISTEN WHAT ARE YOU JUST ONLY? "
AND HE GOES," YEAH, I RIPPED RIGHT NOW. "
I LIKE," GOOD, HANDS < br /> 10:00 and 2:00, MOTHERFUCKER. "
LIKE," AWAY IS SIMPLE. "
I GO," WHAT IS ALL YOU DO? > SMOKE WEED? "</ P>
I CAN HANDLE A WEED. GUY. </ P>
HE WAS GOING, " WELL, I LOVE IT ALL. "
AND I LIKE, "WHAT IS IT ALL?
IT'S A BROAD STATEMENT."
He goes, "I LOVE COKE. I love HEROIN
" BUT THERE IS NO SUCH AS SMOKING,
YOU KNOW WHAT SAYS?
AND I LIKE, "NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SAY."
YOUR THOUGHTS, THIS IS WHEN HE DRIVES,
LIKE IT LIKE LIKE, "I LOVE SMOKING ROCKS, MAN.
YOU KNOW WHAT I & apos; M--" I LOVE, "DUDE, TURN AROUND."
SO I GO, "CAN I ASK SOMETHING?"
He goes, "YEAH. WHAT IS THERE?"
I GO, "WHAT IS TO USE ROCKS? </ P>
I NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE." </ P>
AND HE GOES,
"OOH- OOH! "</ P>
[applause]
I LIKE, " Is that the WHOLE SENTENCE? </ P>
ITU SAJA?"
HE WAS GOING, "THAT SHIT IS THE BEST!
" WHAT I WANT TO DO OWN,
"I WANT SIT > IN MY APARTMENT AND FIRE & EM; EM UP. </ P>
"AND THEN I SEE OUT THE PEEPHOLE. </ P>
" AND I WATCH PEOPLE STREETS .
"AND I JUST FREAK THE FUCK OUT
ABOUT WHAT IS GONNA HAPPENED NEXT. "
AND THEN, HE GIVES ME LIKE A LIKE NOD,
" DOES NOT THE EARLY EARLY? "
I LIKE, "DUDE, THAT TERRIBLE SOUNDS. </ P>
" CALLED FIBER FIBER,
"AND IT'S HORRIBLE SALES PITCH FOR CRACK. </ P>
NOW, I DEFINITELY DO NOT GONNA TRY IT. "
WE PULL UP TO THE AIRPORT, AND I GO,
"THERE IS NO MY BUSINESS, BUT I THINK YOU'RE TOO OLD
TO ENJOY WITH ALL OF THESE MEDICINES."
AND HE GOES, "I DON'T DO IT AGAIN, TOM." </ P>
YEAH, IT'S "SIR" ON THE RIDE. </ P>
NOW, IT "TOM, YOU'RE THEY SHIT." </ P>
"I DON'T DO IT MORE. I KNOW WHEN I WAS YOUNG." </ P>
AND I GO, "ALL RIGHT."
AND HE GOES, "I MEAN, I STILL DO EVERY TIME ONLY.
" BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, IF YOU DO SOMETHING
ONCE, IT'S NOT BAD FOR YOU. "
AND I LIKE," DUDE, I THINK THEY MEAN THAT ABOUT,
"LIKE, PIZZA AND CHOCOLATE.
"NEVER MEAN THAT FOR CRACK, JUST LIKE YOU KNOW."
I NEVER HEAR, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"I SMOKED ROCKS."
"GOOD, NOT EVERY DAY, OK? YOU'RE TRUE KID."
WEED IS NOT A BIG DEAL, ENOUGH. </ p >
I DON'T KNOW WHY FUCK
PEOPLE MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF WEED.
YOU KNOW? YOU -
[applause and applause] YOU SEE THAT CHANGE.
I MEAN, COUNTRIES HAVE LEGALIZED.
I DON'T KNOW WHY - PERCEPTION, I FIND,
FROM OTHERS ABOUT CALIFORNIA,
THEY THINK THAT WE LIKE THE WILD FUCKING WEST. </ P>
LIKE, PEOPLE, THEY LIKE, "AW, YOU'RE LIVING IN LA
" YOU GUYS ARE ONLY JOINING
AND SAY COPS TO LOVE YOUR DICK, TRUE? "
AND I LIKE," YEAH, IT IS REALLY TRUE, YEAH.
"YOU MUST DO THAT TOO WHEN YOU COME.
"LAPD IS SUPER TO IT. </ P>
"BUT TAKE YOUR JOINT, FLICK IT AT & apos; EM,
" LIKE, & apos; SUCK MY DICK, MAN. & Apos;
THEY & apos; LL LAUGH AND YOUR FIVE - IT WAS GOOD. "
IT & apos; S SO DIF-- I MEAN, FIRST OF ALL -
ALL RIGHT, LET & apos; S CLEAR.
IF YOU GETTING A MEDICAL CARD,
ONE OF THINGS THAT PEOPLE DON'T KNOW,
THEY HAVE THE DATE OF EXPIRATION ON THEM,
AND YOU MUST BUY YOUR CARD ALL TIME. </ P>
AND IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. </ P>
ITU TIDAK BENAR HAL TERANG.
YOU ARE TRUE - YOU MUST GET YOUR CAR.
YOU MUST DRIVE DOWN FOR A PLACE
IT WAS - IT'S ALL YOU GOTTA DO, GO TO THERE DRIVE. </ P>
TAKES, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES. </ P>
BUT MY CARD IS REQUIRED THREE YEARS AGO. </ P>
I STILL NOT GIVING IT. </ P>
I GO TO GO TO DISPENSIZED SOME WEEKS,
AND THERE ARE TWO ROOMS. </ P>
THERE ARE THE ROOMS CHECKING YOU OUT IN, THEY CHECK YOUR STUFF,
AND THEN, THERE ARE MAIN ROOMS WITH ALL GOODS, TRUE?
AND GUY TOOK MY CARD, AND HE GOES,
"DUDE, I CAN'T LET YOU IN. </ P>
YOUR CARD IS REQUIRED THREE YEARS AGO." </ P>
I LIKE, "COME IN, MAN." </ P>
DAN DIA SEPERTI, "BAIKLAH."
I LIKE, "WOW, I A REALLY GOOD NEGOTIATOR, HUH?"
I AM NOT REAL - GOOD, YOU'RE ONLY LOVE LIKE IT, YEAH.
GET MEDICAL CARDS IS SURREAL
MY SURREAL EXPERIENCE.
I GO THE DOCTOR OFFICE,
AND IT'S NOT DR. DICKHEAD THAT I SAY YOU ABOUT.
THIS IS A DIFFERENT DOCTOR.
HE'S A DOCTOR BECAUSE HE HAS A BUSINESS CARD,
AND HE PUT "DR." ABOVE.
THE OFFICE SUCH AS FULLY SHIT,
THAT YOU CAN LISTEN FINAL CONVERSATION
BETWEEN DOCTORS AND YOUR FUTURE PATIENTS,
WHICH CAN'T HAPPEN HAPPEN. </ P>
LIKE I WAIT FOR TURN ME OFF TO GO IN, I WAIT,
AND I LISTEN TO DOCTOR GO, "OH, WHAT DO YOU NEED TO MEDICAL
FOR MARIJUANA?"
AND GUY IS THERE GOES, " OH, I HAVE A BONE DISEASE. "</ P>
AND I LIKE," OH, SHIT. I HAVE NO BONE DISEASE. "</ P>
LIKE, I THOUGHT YOU CAN JUST < LIKE, "WEED" S AWESOME. "
AND HE LIKE, " YEAH, I KNOW TO KNOW, "LIKE...
SO I STARTED THE PANIC INTERNAL - LIKE WHAT I GONNA SAY? </ P>
AND IN MY THOUGHT, I JUST GO TO THE WORST SHIT. </ P>
LIKE, IN MY MIND, I LIKE, "JUST TELL YOU HAVE AIDS. </ P>
LIKE, JUST SAY IT YOU HAVE AIDS." </ P>
KEMUDIAN SEPERTI, "KETIKA ANDA MENCARI?"
I LIKE, "I AM JUST FOUND, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES."
"YOU DO NOT SEE IT'S BUMMED OUT."
" GOOD, I'M JUST HAPPY. FOR HERE,
SO LET ASKING ME TO PROVE IT,
THEY WILL NEVER LIKE, "PROVE IT,"
AND YOU LIKE, "OH, I SEND CARD I AM AT HOME. </ P>
I HAVE NO I. "</ P>
THEN I went, " THE WAY WAS TOO DRAMATIC. </ P>
JUST DIAL BACK. "
I LIKE," AH, I JUST SAY I HAVE CANCER
IT'S MORE NOT TRUE. "
THEN I START THINKING FROM ALL MY FAMILY MEMBERS
WHO HAVE CANCER, AND I LIKE,
YANG MEMILIKI KANKER, DAN AKU SEPERTI,
"MAN, IF YOU SAY YOU HAVE CANCER ONLY TO GET US,
I GET CANCER NEXT FUCKING WEEK."
AT TIME /> I HAVE THOUGHT,
I'M SITTING IN FRONT DOCTOR. </ P>
HE'S LIKE - I GO, "WHAT?" </ P>
He left, "WHAT ARE YOUR MEDICALS NEED TO BE MARIJUANA?" </ P>
AND THE BEST THAT CAN COME WITH ON THE SPOT IS,
"SICK HEAD."
AND I GO, "OH, YEAH."
AND HE GOES, "YOU DO NOT HAVE A GLASS?"
AND I GO, "CANNOT. HURTS. </ P>
" EVERYTHING IS SURE. OW OW. </ P>
OW OW. "</ P>
HE WRITES I STATED. I'M GOING TO LEAVE. </ P>
AS I LEAVE, I SEE THE GUY ANYONE IN NEXT,
AND I DON'T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA FUN TO LISTEN.
& APOS; CAUSE I THINK HE IS NOT GONNA GET IT, AND I WILL SAY YOU WHY.
I REALLY KNOW GUY, & apos; CAUSE GUY & apos; S
YOUR LOCATION OF TYPE. CHOLO MEXICO GANGBANGER, okay? </ P>
IT'S VERY SPECIAL CHECK. YOU HAVE SEEN THE Cinema. </ P>
YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK I SPEAK ABOUT.
IT> S KHAKI DICKIES WITH CLOSED WHITE,
CHUCK TAYLORS, AN BORN,
AND ALSO LA TAT IN, LIKE, THIS GENERAL AREA HERE. </ P>
LIKE IT LIKE, "AW, IF I LOSE MY HAT,
I STILL HAVE A FAVORITE TEAM I RIGHT HERE. "</ P>
SO I LISTEN TO THE DOOR. </ P>
I LIKE... [laughs]
AND I LISTEN TO THE GO DOCTOR,
"WHAT DO YOU NEED TO MEDICAL FOR MARIJUANA?"
AND GUY GOES,
"I'M JUST LIKE A WAY THAT WE MAKE ME FEEL. "
AND THEN THE DOCTOR WRITES IT A PRESCRIPTION FOR IT.
YEAH, YOU MUST NOT LIE.
YOU CAN JUST LIKE, "WEED" S AWESOME. "</ P>
AND HE LIKE, " YEAH, I KNOW TO KNOW. </ P>
"I FEEL SORRY FOR EVERYONE WITH DISEASE
"THAT KEEP COMES HERE, MAN.
" LAST DUDE EYES DO NOT WORK.
"IT'S SAD.
YOU ARE LUCKY YOU HAVE YOUR HEALTH, ESE. "
" ORALE. "
I ALWAYS TRY TO SET GOALS.
MY LAST GOAL - I & apos; M TRYING FOR POLITICS LESS, YOU KNOW?
& apos; CAUSE THE WORLD NOT AS A POLITE
AS YOU HAVE NEEDED TO BELIEVE IT IS BE GONNA, YOU KNOW?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE ACCEPT THAT YOU SAY "THANK YOU,"
PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE TO SAY "YOU'RE WELCOME" MORE. </ P>
PEOPLE HAVE STOPPED. </ P>
PEOPLE HAVE STOPPED. </ P> p>
NOW, YOU SAY "THANK YOU," AND PEOPLE GIVE YOU A NOD, LIKE -
I WANT YOUR STAB IN THE FOLLOWING BENEFITS
IF YOU DO IT TO ME. I do
I GO, "THANK YOU," AND THEY GO...
I GO, "DO YOU NOT - DO YOU NOT HAVE TO HEAR
WHAT ARE I JUST FOR YOU, MAN?" </ P>
SO NOW, I SKIP IT ALL.
I JUST TAKE SHIT, AND I GO...
I FIND ATTENDANCE EVERYWHERE.
p>
I THINK THE RELATED PEOPLE IN THE WORLD
ARE PEOPLE WHO WAIT OUTSIDE OF THE GROSERY STORE
WITH THE PETITION FOR YOU TO SIGN. </ P>
WHAT'S A FUCKING ASSHOLE YOU ARE. </ P>
THEY DO IT, AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IS THE SITE TO BE DONE? </ P>
THEY RECOMMEND THE MOTORCYCLE TO DESTROY YOUR PREGNANCY.
& apos CAUSE YOU LEAVE GROCERY STORE,
AND YOU FEEL WHAT? YOU FEEL HAPPY. </ P>
YOU LIKE, "OH, I GOT SOY MILK. </ P>
THE GONNA IS A GOOD WEEK. GOOD."
I LIKE, "SEE ANYTHING?"
AND THEY LIKE, "DO YOU WANT THE CHILDREN TOWARDS
AND DIE ON THE STREETS?"
AND I LIKE...
"NOW I DO - NOW THAT YOU ARE ONLY AVOIDING MY DAY, I DO, YEAH.
I WANT DEAD FIRST, BUT THEN I WANT ALL THEM TO DIE. "</ P>
I SAY OPPOSITE FROM ANYTHING THEY TRY
TO GIVE ME HAVE ME.
LIKE, "THIS IS TO TEACH BLIND PEOPLE HOW TO DO SHAKESPEARE."
I LIKE, "I HOPE THEY ARE ALL GO DEAF FIRST."
p>
AND THEY LIKE, "JESUS."
I LIKE, "YEAH, IT'S THE FOLLOWING.
You are ASSHOLE, not me."
I GO, "I LOVE LOVE WAR IN AFGHANISTAN.
" IT'S MY FAVORITE WAR.
I WISH IT GOES ON FOR 1,000 YEARS . "
AND THEY LIKE, " YOU ARE CRAZY. "
I LIKE," IT'S TRUE. I AM CRAZY.
REMEMBER MY FACE AND NEVER Ask me to see SHIT AGAIN. "
I CAN'T GET THE RUDE PEOPLE.
I AM AT THE HOTEL SOME WEEKS.
I GO TO THE GYM HOTEL. I GET TREADMILL. </ P>
I WALK, I DON'T KNOW, 70 MILES, TRUE? </ P>
[laughter] 170 MILES, THANK YOU.
170 MILES.
BUT I AM ALWAYS. THERE IS NO EXISTING.
I WAS REMEMBER. I BELIEVE LIFE. </ p >
[groans]
THEN, OUT OF NOWHERE, I JUST HEAR, "GET IT?"
AND I GO, "JESUS CHRIST! WHAT?"
THIS IS GUY GOES, "YOU GET IT?" </ P>
I GO, "GET ANYTHING?" </ P>
HE SAYS, "YOU GET TO WORK IN? "
I GO," IT WASN'T FUCKING LOOKING LIKE IT? "
He went," YEAH, YOU'RE ONLY GOTTA KEEPING TO DO IT. "
AND I GO, "Alright."
He goes, "NAH, I'M USED LIKE YOU."
AND I GO, "WHAT? "
HE WAS GOING, " I WAS USED LIKE YOU.
"YOU'RE ONLY GOTTA KEEP RIGHT EAT
AND MUCH DO IT, AND YOU WILL GET THERE. "
AND I LIKE, " DUDE, I DONE. "
[laughter]
AND HE LIKE, "I'M SORRY. I DON'T KNOW THAT."
LET ME-- LET ME POINT SOMETHING OUT. </ P>
It's OK for me to MAKE JOKES ABOUT THE PEOPLE MENTIONED
AND PEOPLE WITH HORRIBLE DISEASES
BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME UNSAFE,
AND I DON'T WANT LIKE THEM. </ P>
[laughter]
MAY MAKE IT I'M BAD PEOPLE,
BUT I'M JUST HONEST,
AND I SAY YOU, THAT SHIT WANTS. </ P>
I DON'T WANT LIKE THEM. </ P>
HERE OTHER BITS INFORMATION
I ALSO DO NOT WANT TO SEE THEM. </ P>
NOT MY. </ P>
NOT MY. </ P> p>
NOT STAND STILL FOR ONE FRAME.
[laughter and applause]
GUY CANNOT EAT SOUP. IT'S DECLARING, OK?
TRY TO PRODUCE THIS THING AS COMEDY?
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
YOU BUY EVERYONE.
HOW MUCH PARKINSON & apos ; S JOKES I WILL HAVE THE APPLICATION
WITH THIS THING? </ P>
I WILL NOT WATCH SHOW. I SEE COMMERCIALLY. </ P>
I WOULDN'T WAIT THAT SHOWING. </ P>
YOU KNOW WHY? A VERSION OF IT
PLAY IN MY HEAD, AND IT WAS TRYING HORRIBLE. </ P >
AND I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY ACCURATE.
I WAS REALLY.
I BET YOU THAT SHOWS NOTHING BUT SETUP FOR THAT SHIT. </ P>
I BET IT JUST LIKE, HERE-- IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GOES,
"DAD, CAN I HELP MY HAMMER ON THIS NAIL?"
AND HE GOES, "YOU KNOW THEY DON'T CREATE ME WITH THEM."
AND THEN YOU GET GO, AT HOME,
"I UNDERSTAND. SHE SHOULD HAVE PARKINSON & apos; S."
YOU DO NOT THINK IT HAS THE PITCHED
IN THE AUTHOR'S SPACE? </ P>
"IT & S; S PASTA NIGHT. DAD, CAN I GET SOME PARMESANTS?" </ P>
"That's ONE THING I CAN DO EVERYTHING." </ P>
[laughter]
"I AM GOOD. I WANT I WAS GOOD." </ P>
YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT THE EPISODE IDISODE HAS TALKED ABOUT,
WHERE HE WAS GOING TO WORK, AND IT WAS GETTING SAY,
"ANDA TAHU, AKU HARUS MENDAPATKAN SAYA SENDIRI VIBRATOR. "
"That's ONE THING MY TOUR DOES NOT NEED."
AND THEN YOU GET GO, "I UNDERSTAND.
HE MUST HAVE PARKINSON & apos; S. "
I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT SHIT. </ P>
I AM SITTING IN THE HOUSE. </ P>
I TRIED TO HAVE FUCKING DINNER. </ P >
I SITTING ON MY COUCH.
WE HAVE A TABLE, BUT I ADENT,
AND I CAN SIT WHERE I WANT.
SO I AM ON THE COUCH, ABOUT HAVING A NIGHT EAT,
AND THIS FUCKING - A GIRL -
TWO GIRLS - ONE GIRL-- A GIRL -
TWO - ONE - A GIRL - TWO GIRLS -
ONE ONE WHO HAS TWO HEADS ON ONE BODY COMES. </ P>
THEIR HEADS ARE ANY OTHER. </ P>
KEPALA MEREKA SEPERTI, "MMM."
THEY ARE LOOKING FOR LIKE THEY ARE GONNA GRUNT
THEY ARE LOOKING LIKE LIKE THEY GONNA GO, "MMM... AAH!"
LIKE IT, BUT THEY ARE NOT. </ P>
IT COMES ON TV. </ P>
NO WARNING SCREEN,
LIKE, "HEY, IN BOTH, YOU MAY LOVE YOURSELF. </ P>
PUT DOWN WHATEVER YOU HOLD, SERIOUSLY. "</ P>
I'M SITTING THERE, ABOUT PAPRIKASH EATING, </ p >
AND IT'S HOT, AND I GO - [punch]
AND THEN I SEE, AND I GO -
[scream]
TEN SECOND LATER, I LOVE MY BACK LEGS.
NOW... I WILL BE HONEST,
WHEN HE IS FIRST CLOSED ON SCREEN,
I LIKE, "HEY, LADY, YOU & apos; VE GET SOMETHING ON YOUR SHOULDER.
"NO, YOU, YOU MUST FIND SOMETHING ON YOUR SHOULDER."
BUT THEN, I REALIZED, "TOMMY, WHY DO YOU GET UPSET?
YOU LOVED MONSTERS. " NOW -
[sighs]
HERE WHAT CAN BE NOTE ABOUT THIS SHOW.
IF YOU'RE GONNA WATER FREAK FUCKING SHOW,
WHAT IS IT, CAN IT?
CAN YOU PLEASE INCLUDE THE FREAKY SHIT? </ P>
THAT WHY WE WATCH. </ P>
YOU SHOW THIS SHOW,
TWO GIRLS WITH ONE BODY OF FUCKING, TWO HEADS. </ P >
[muttering] THEY LIKE, WHAT WHAT?
"YES. HERE WHAT WE HAVE TO DO.
" HE MUST GET , WALK, THE COLLECTION IS MADE. </ P>
WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? " YOU LIKE,
"HE HAD TWO FUCKING HEADS /> WHERE ONE OF THEM LIKE,
"I FEEL LIKE OUT THIS EVENING." </ P>
"GOOD, I FEEL LIKE STAYING AT HOME."
"GOOD, I CONTROL THE LEGS. WE HAVE GO."
WHERE IS IT?
WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE ONE OF ONE EM EM LOVES AND ONE OF & apos; EM HATES? </ P>
THAT HAD HAPPENED. THEY HAVE CUT SEPARATE. </ P>
"WE'RE GOING TO TONY'S HOUSE." </ P>
"I LOVE HAT TONY . "
" GOOD, I AM GONNA BLOW HIM,
"YOU'RE BETTER GETTING READY FOR BALL ASSIGNMENTS.
MEH. "
[laughter]
I CAN LOVE YOUR COURT.
[tawa]
AKU BISA MENYUKAI PENGADILAN ANDA.
I REFUSED YOUR COURT IS FULLY.
FIRST, EVERYONE LOVES BLOW JOBS.
SECOND, I DON'T MAKE THIS SHIT. </ P>
IF YOU SIAMESE TWIN SISTER IS DOLING OUT BJs,
YOU ARE ALWAYS FOR RIDE. </ P>
YOU MUST NOT PARTICIPATE, BUT WE ARE NOW THERE,
I don't know, GIVE NOTES, I GUESS. </ P>
"MM, MM, MM. </ P>
" YOU HAVE A HORRIBLE ENGINEERING. MEH. </ P>
"I CAN SEE YOUR DENTAL. MEH. </ P>
WHY IS IT DRY? MEH."
GOOD, WE WILL MOVE IT ALONG.
I UNDERSTAND.
NO EVERYONE OF THE BOARD WITH DOUBLE-HEADED BJs.
YOU WILL EVERYONE ADMIT TO ME,
AND MORE IMPORTANT FOR YOU,
THAT YOU WANT TO SEE
GIRLS WITH TWO HEADS NOT A SHIT?
ONLY TO SEE IF THE MATCH UP, TRUE FACT?
AND ONE LIKE, "HEY, TAKE IT EASY. </ P>
IT'S MY TOO, YOU KNOW." </ P>
OH AYOLAH. </ P>
I REALLY WANT > THAT EVERYTHING AND ANY OF YOU
CAN SEE HISTORY OF INTERNET SEARCH. </ P>
BECAUSE I THINK YOU WILL BE ALL SAY THE SAME THING. </ P >
THOUGHT YOU WILL LIKE,
"THIS IS ONE SICK, TWISTED, DEVIANT PERVERT,
WHO ALSO LOVE TIME EVENTS THIS. "</ P>
MY HISTORY IS REALLY VOLLEY BACK AND BACK
OF, LIKE," BIG, SLOPPY TITS
RETURNS BACK AND OUT BY 13 COCKS. "
" WHAT WILL BE IN SYRIA? "
I FEEL FULLY ABOUT WATCHING THAT MUCH IS TOO.
YOU KNOW WHY? & Apos; CAUSE IT IS LAZY.
I KNOW WATCHING THAT MUCH PORN IS LAZY. </ P>
IT'S GETS IN THE WAY OTHER THINGS TO WANT TO,
LIKE STARTING ANOTHER LANGUAGE. </ P>
I LOVE LEARNING OTHER LANGUAGES,
BUT THERE ARE TOO MUCH PORNS TO WATCH. </ P>
WHY DOES NOT COMBINE TWO, TRUE? </ P >
ALREADY YOU SEE THIS VIDEO?
THEY ARE BORING.
"THE MAN IS SITTING DOWN." YOU LIKE, "ALL RIGHT . "
ALREADY YOU SEE AN ANALYST GANGBANG?
SUPER EXCITING.
HERE WHAT I WAIT FOR.
YOU DOWNLOAD SERIES,
DAN KEMUDIAN TUTORIAL NOMOR SATU MULAI BERMAIN.
WELL? HERE WHAT HAPPENED.
ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN.
A WOMAN GIVES GUY JOB BLOW, ALL RIGHT? </ p >
LIKE, JOB BLOG AGRESIVE.
NOT ONE OF THIS, LIKE-- [hums] NO.
I MEAN, LIKE - [choke]
WHERE YOU LIKE, "JESUS CHRIST!
" IS AN ANSWER IN THERE?
WHAT IS WHY DO IT DO IT? "
AND HE HAD TEARS WALKING TO FRIENDS
AND A SMALL AROUND SOMETHING.
AND HE GOES-- " [choking]
"HOW IS A SUBWAY?
[speaking Spanish] [joke]"
YOU LIKE, " NOW IT'S SINKING IN. "</ P>
SOME OF YOU DO NOT LIKE THAT ONE. </ P>
AKU DAPAT MENGATAKAN DENGAN FACES ANDA.
MAYBE THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE MORE ADVANCED
AND YOU ARE READY FOR TWO TUTORIAL NUMBER.
IN THIS ONE,
HUMAN WAS APPLIED WITH WALLS. </ P>
ARMS AND ITS WAYS DONE,
AND HE'S REALLY NAKED, AND YOU LIKE,
"WHOA. WHAT HAPPENS HERE?" </ P>
AND THEN, SOME SECOND SENDS,
A WOMEN ENTERS FRAME,
AND MY WEEK , I DON'T KNOW, STRAP-ON 15-INCH. </ P>
HE DOES NOT SAY HELLO OR TAP HIM ON THE SHOULDER. </ P>
NO WARNING, ONLY BOW! </ P>
YOU LIKE, "HOLY SHIT!" </ P>
AND HE'S JUST GOES TO TOWN HAMMER. </ P>
HE'S LIKE, "BOW! BOW ! BOW! "</ P>
DAN ANDA SEPERTI, "APA FUCK?"
AND THEN, AFTER, LIKE, THE STROKE, HE GOES,
"THIS SALAD IS TOO SPICY.
[speaks Spanish]" </ p >
AND YOU LIKE, "I LEARN SPANISH LANGUAGE.
CAN SOMEONE PASS ME KLEENEX?"
[sighs]
MM.
I HAVE MARRIED.
YOU LIKE THE ONE?
I like LOOKING. I do
YOU SEE MANY COMICS, YOU GO TO SHOW, AND THEY WILL LIKE,
"I LOVE GETTING OUT HOUSE,
I CAN ONLY GET AWAY FROM IT BITCH. "</ P>
AND YOU LIKE, " WOW, SOUNDS LIKE YOU MARRY
A REAL FUCKING ASSHOLE, MAN. It's AWESOME. "</ P>
I LOVE IT. </ P>
ANDA TAHU APA BAGIAN TERBAIK MENINGGALKAN?
YOU GET STOP PRETENDING.
AND THAT'S WHAT FUCKING DATING IS.
IT & apos; S AN ACT. You are on BROADWAY.
FOR YOUR LONG DATING BUT, YOU DO ACT,
AND IT IS LOOKING FOR EXHAUSTING.
THAT WHY IF YOU WALK AND YOU NEVER BEEN OUTSIDE THE PUBLIC,
AND YOU SEE PEOPLE WHO ARE INTERESTED LOOK AT YOU LIKE THIS,
AND YOU LIKE, "WHAT'S FUCK DO THEY LOOK?"
THEY ARE DONE FOR YOU.
THIS-- IT & S; S AN ACT,
AND IT IS EXHAUST-- YOU LOOK AT IT ALL -
DATING IS GUY GOING,
"UH, JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M A GUY." </ P>
AND LIKE A GIRL, " GOOD, ONLY YOU KNOW, I AM THIS GIRL. "</ P>
AND THEN YOU GET MARRIED, AND YOU LIKE,
"UH, SO CAN WE KNOCK THIS SHIT IS NOT HERE?"
AND HE GOES, "I EXPECT,
" BECAUSE I AM GOTTA FART /> ENOUGH BAD. </ P>
WILL WILL BE FART FOR, LIKE, FOUR YEARS. "
" GOOD. GETTING FART OUT. "
SEXUALLY LIBERATING MARRIED.
IT IS, REALLY IS.
ESPECIALLY FOR MEN, & apos; CAUSE IN HERE WHAT HAPPENED. </ P>
WHEN YOU START WITH SOMEONE, YOU KNOW,
YOUR FIRST THING, ALL RIGHT, YOU SEE THE GIRL,
AND YOU LIKE, "I WANT TO GET THERE."
[laughter]
RIGHT, AND THEN, YOU GO ON SOME DATE,
AND AS YOU GET THE CLOSER TO THE TOP ACT - THE MAGICAL ACT HAPPENING,
MUCH TIME WOMEN WILL HAVE A GUY.
HE WOULD LIKE, "OH, LIKE, LIKE, What are you doing
WHAT ARE YOU LIKE? "</ P>
AND THIS IS WHEN THE HUMAN ACTION,
" DO NOT LOVE. </ P>
YOU CAN FUCK THIS UP FOR WE. "</ P>
SO WE HOPE TO YOU, AND WE LIKE," OH, I WANT TO HAVE A HAND. </ P>
"UH, I LIKE IF YOU GO... [punch]
ON MY SKIN. IT'S COOL. "
THEN YOU GET MARRIED, AND YOU LIKE,
" I WANT YOU TO GO ON MY BALL BAG
"LIKE YOU WALK ON THE SEA
AND THIS ONLY MOTORS THAT GONNA TAKES YOU HOME. "</ P>
[laughter and applause]
BANYAK GIRLFRIENDS TIDAK BISA MENANGANI BAHWA SHIT.
GIRLFRIENDS WILL LIKE, "UGH, WHAT?"
BUT WIFE?
WIFE WILL GO, "IS IT?"
AND YOU LIKE, "OH, YEAH, I GET YOU LIKE, 50 YEARS." </ P>
HE LIKE, "YEAH, I SEE THE BUTTER IN YOUR HELP. </ P>
WHAT YOU WANT, MAN. "
OR PRIVATE. MARGARINE, I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO, SO-- OLIVE OIL. </ P>
YOU FIND, THE LONGER YOU ARE WITH SOMEONE,
YOU LIKE, EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING. </ P>
EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING WEIRD AND KINKY AND DIFFERENT. </ P>
EVERYB - AND YOU REPRESENT THAT, AND YOU GO, LIKE, "OH, MY GOD. </ P>
"IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING - YES GOD. </ P>
I WILL HAVE DIE IF SOMETHING KNOWS. "
EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING.
AND YOU LIKE, "NO, NOT EVERYONE.
WHAT ABOUT JIM? HE BECOME A BLAZER."
JIM TOO.
JIM HAS A HIT IN NUTS WITH WRITING, OK?
JIM FROM THE FUCKING THOUGHT.
I LOVE COUNTRY.
I ASK FOR PEOPLE ALL IT - I hear it
YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SH - I am in a SHOW.
I ASK FOR PEOPLE IN AUD - LIKE,
"WHAT ARE YOU THOUGHT WORST THINGS?"
AND A LADY IN LOW AHEAD,
HE GOES, "I HAVE ONE." AND I GO, "IS IT?" </ P>
AND HE GOES, "OH YES . "
[laughter]
I GO," IS IT? " AND HE GOES," ALL RIGHT.
"I want to think DIFFERENT SCENARIOS
TO KILL MY MILK."
AND I LIKE, "DAMN."
AND HE THE SITTING IS TRUE, AND HE'S LIKE,
"IT WAS THAT. THAT HE WAS RELATED." </ P>
I LIKE, "REALLY? " AND HE'S LIKE," OH, YEAH. "
I GO, " YOU GO, & Apos; I'M SUPER HORNY.
"& apos; I'M ALREADY THE BEST DREAM
"> THAT YOU WALK IN THE POOL,
AND THEN I HAVE A CEMENT BLOCK IN YOUR HEAD. & Apos;"
AND HE GOES, "THAT WILL LOVE IT."
SHOW SAME, I LOVE YOU, A LADY GOES, "I HAVE ONE."
AND I GO, "IS IT?"
AND HE GOES, "I LOVE SIT ABOUT MY FACE."
AND I GO, "IT'S NOT UNIQUE.
YOU CANNOT REPRESENT CLAIMS THAT IT IS THIS."
AND HE GOES, "YEAH, BUT I JUST LIKE FEELING HIS EYELASHES
AGAINST BUTT CHEEKS." </ P>
AND I LIKE, "WHAT?" </ P>
[ laughter]
AND HE GOES, "MM-HMM."
AND I LIKE, "I DON'T EVEN KNOW IT IS THINGS."
AND HE LIKE, "OH, YEAH." </ P>
LIKE, "WHERE ARE FUCK Have you?" </ P>
AND I LIKE, "WHAT IF HE, LIKE, < br> YOU KNOW, CREATE LICK,
LIKE, AH-AH, LIKE IT? "
AND HE GOES," I GO, & apos; NO! & apos; </ p >
I JUST WANT TO FEEL SQUINK-SQUINK-SQUINK. "
SO STOP FEELING WEIRD AND SIT ABOUT PEOPLE'S LIFE, ALL RIGHT?
IT WAS WHAT I WANT YOU TO STAY HERE WITH.
GUYS, WE ARE CLOSED MANY TONIGHT STUFFS.
WE REALLY HAVE .
SOME OF YOU MAY, YOU KNOW, DO NOT THINK IT IS VERY MY.
I don't know, SOME OF YOU MAY LIKE,
"FORM OF THIS FUCKING GUY." </ P>
SOME OF YOU MAY THINK I DECLARE. </ P>
SOME OF YOU MAY THINK I AM NOT BORN. </ P>
I don't know BUT I WILL TELL YOU THIS.
I BELIEVE IN HUMANITY. I do
I BELIEVE WE ARE ALL IN HERE SIMPLE,
AND I BELIEVE THERE THERE IS NO LIKE COINCIDENCE. </ P>
AND I THOUGHT I CAN SAY YOUR STORY
YANG AKAN JUGA MEMBUAT ANDA PERCAYA INI, SEMUA KANAN?
SEVERAL YEARS, I'M IN WASHINGTON DC,
AND I SHARE CAB WITH WOMEN I DON'T KNOW.
NEVER EVER SHOW BEFORE IN MY LIFE. WE LOOK AT THE CAB. </ P>
I HEAR WOMEN GO,
"HEY." </ P>
AND I THOUGHT HE BECOME GONNA LIKE,
"HEY, LIKE, YOU WANT FUCK OR SOMETHING?" </ P>
AND I GONNA LIKE, "I CANNOT. </ P >
I'VE MARRIED. SO MAKE IT FAST, ALL RIGHT? "
I SEE OVER, I LIKE, " WHAT IS IT? "
AND HE GOES, "ARE YOU THIS?" </ P>
AND HE HAVE A WALLET. </ P>
AND I GO, "NO, IT'S NOT MY." </ P>
AND HE GOES, "OH, IT MUST BE THE PREVIOUS WALLET RIDER. </ P>
AKU HANYA MEMBERIKANNYA KE DRIVER. "
AND I GO, "DON'T DO IT. SEE HIM.
" HE'S LOOKING LIKE A CAB DRIVER.
"HE MAY BE SMOKING CRACK ONCE -ONCE. </ P>
YOU CANNOT TRY THEM. "</ P>
I GO," GIVE IT TO ME. </ P>
I WILL GET BACK TO TO THE OWNER THE TRUE. "</ P>
AND HE GOES," REALLY? " I GO," YEAH. "</ P>
HE GIVES ME WALLET. </ P>
NOW, I FEEL GIVEN TO FIND OWNERS. </ P>
BUT HERE IS HONEST-FOR-GOD TRUTH, I REALLY WANT. </ P>
I ALWAYS DREAMED ABOUT FINDING THE WALLET. </ P>
I DON'T KNOW WHY. </ P>
I DREAMS I WILL FIND WALLET,
I WILL OPEN IT , IT WILL HAVE $ 1,000 IN IT,
IT WILL TURN, LIKE, GOING TO SMITH,
AND THEN LIKE, "DO YOU WANT HELICOPTER?"
AND I LOVE, " YEAH. "</ P>
AND THEN I LIKE, " I HAVE A FAMILY IN DENVER. </ P>
ARE YOU LIKE A FURNITURE? "</ P>
I OPEN A WALLET THIS. </ P>
IT HAS $ 2, GREWER REWARDS STORE,
AND COMMUNITY ID COLLECTION
I HAVE BEEN FOUND WILL NOT WANET SMITH. </ P>
BUT I STILL TRY TO DO THE RIGHT THING. </ P>
I GIVE A GROSERY STORE, I EXPLAIN THE SITUATION,
AND I GO, "CAN YOU HELP ME?" </ P>
AND THEY GO, "NO, WE ARE A GROSERY STORE. </ P>
" WE DO NOT TRACK PEOPLE DOWN. </ P>
EGGS FOR SALE. GOING YOURSELF FUCK. "
AND I LIKE, "COOL.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR HELP."
THEN, I CALL YOU THE COMMUNITY COLLEGE,
AND I SPEAK FOR EVERY EVERY DEPARTMENT
IN THE COMMUNITY COLLECTION FOR 4 1/2 HOURS,
BEFORE I WILL GET CONTACT NUMBER.
I CALL NUMBER, AND MAN AN ANSWERED PHONE
WHO CAN I JUST IMAGINE HAVE NEVER USED A PHONE BEFORE,
& apos; CAUSES WILL BE ACTUAL ANSWERS TELEPHONE WITH NOISE.
SO ONLY TO BREAK THIS IS A SHIT DOWN,
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU NEVER EVER USED THE PHONE BEFORE,
BUT USUALLY, WHEN YOU HAVE SOMEONE,
[imitating the telephone ringing] AND THEY PICK IT UP,
MEREKA MENGATAKAN, "HELLO."
IT HAS IT.
IT'S THE PEOPLE WHO SAY WHEN THEY ANSWER THE PHONE.
MAYBE IF THEY'RE IN A BAD MOOD, "WHAT?" / p>
THEY ARE TWO CHOICES.
THIS IS A MAN OF PHONE ANSWERS... [imitating the telephone ringing]
CHOOSE IT, AND HE GOES, </ p p>
"AH."
AND I GO, "HELLO?" AND HE GOES, "WAH."
AND I GO, "I GONNA TALK, AND THEN YOU SPEAK. "</ P>
And he goes," YEAH. "</ P>
LIKE, IT IS THE FIRST TIME SOMEONE EXPLAINS HIM </ p >
HOW TO HAVE A CALL PHONE CALL.
UNTIL THE POINT IS, HE'S JUST LIKE, "IT MAKES NOISE.
" I GONNA MAKE NOISE TOO.
p>
AH. "
"I PROVIDE YOUR NUMBER TRY TO RETURN WALLET."
AND HE SAYS, "IT MAYBE MY MY WALLET.
" HE ALWAYS LEAVE SHIT
BECAUSE he is a SHIT student. "
IT IS THE FIRST THING - I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO BE RESPONSIBLE
I LOVE," AH. "
I GO," GOOD , CAN I GIVE IT HIS SHIT BACK? "
HE WAS GOING, " HE'S A REAL ASSHOLE. "
AND I GO," WE SPEAK ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN RIGHT NOW? " "
AND HE GOES, " YEAH, I DON'T THINK
HE GONNA AMOUNT FOR ANYTHING. "
I GO," JESUS CHRIST. "
I GO," MAYBE HE WOULD BE AMOUNT FOR SOMETHING
IF HE GETS THE RETURN. "
AND HE GOES, "YEAH, YEAH.
I KNOW YOU KNOW."
AND HE HANGS UP PHONE
WITHOUT TAKING MY INFORMATION
SO THE PLAN IS TO GO TO MY CHILDREN AND LIKE,
"SOME GUY FOUND YOUR WALLET.
YEAH, I DON'T THINK THAT,"
AND ONLY, LIKE, WALKING AWAY.
SO I am SUPER FRUSTRATED.
I SEE THE TRUE THING, RIGHT?
I FORGET ABOUT WALLET.
YEAR GOES BY. YEAR, CALENDAR YEAR.
I RETURN TO DC
I GO IN THE CITY, I CALL THE FRIENDS, WE GO TO RESTAURANT,
ONLY RANDOM RESTAURANT. </ P>
WE SIT DOWN, AND WAITER COME TO TAKE OUR ORDERS, </ p >
AND I GO, "JUSTIN?"
AND HE GOES, "HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?"
AND I GO, "DUDE, I HAVE YOUR WALLET."
AND HE GOES, "OH, DO YOU HAVE YOU?" </ P>
I GO, "NO, I DON'T WALK WALK ON IT WITH YOUR WALLET. </ P>
"I'M NOT GOING, & apos; I HAVE MY WALLET, AND I GOT JUSTIN & apos; S WALLET. </ P>
NOW, I'M READY TO GO OUT. os NO, YOU HAVE PSIKO. "
AND HE GOES," DO YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO TODAY? "
AND I GO, " DO YOU WANT TO RECOGNIZE
THAT THIS IS AN AMAZING FUTURE IN BOTH OUR LIVES? "
AND HE GOES, " WHAT DO YOU MEAN? "
" WHAT DO I MEAN?
"AKU MENEMUKAN WALLET ANDA DI CAB DI D. SATU TAHUN.
"I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY CABLES HERE, BUT I THINK IT WAS MANY.
" I HAVE TO TELL NO 100 TIMES BY 100 PEOPLE TRY TO FIND YOU.
"MY HOTEL ROOM IS USED TO SEE AS NCIS EPISODE.
" THERE IS A PIN AND CHARTS CONTACTING ANY OTHER SHIT.
"I SPEAK WITH YOUR FATHER, WHO IS NOT FAN.
" I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THAT OR NOT.
"I COME TO THE RESTAURANT RETURN,
" I CAN SEE AT YOUR PART,
"AND I RECOGNIZE YOU FROM YOU ID
"IT IS BURNED TO MY MEMORY.
YOU DON'T THINK IT IS LIKING AMAZING? "
AND HE GOES, " WE HAVE A SPECIAL PERSONAL RIB.
WE ALSO HAVE A PENNE PENTA. "
I COULDN'T EAT I LIKE, "WHAT'S FUCK?"
HE comes, I go,
"LOOK, I DO NOT WANT TO MAKE BIG THINGS HERE,
"BUT I REMEMBER THAT I HAVE YOUR WALLET IN MY BAG -
" MY BAG IN MY HOTEL ROOM. </ P>
IF YOU WANT TO COME BY, I WILL GIVE YOUR WALLET. "
AND HE GOES," OK. "
I RETURN TO THE HOTEL. I HEAR THE KNOCK AT THE DOOR. </ P>
AND NOW, I APPRECIATE HER TO LOVE THE SITE. </ P>
I THINK THE SITUATION THE FUCK OUT OF THE FREAKING MERITS.
I THINK HE PLAYS IT COOL, AND NOW HE'S GONNA LIKE,
"I DO NOT WANT TO SAY THIS EARLIER.
KAMI HARUS MEMBUKA TOKO SURF DI MAUI BERSAMA, ANDA TAHU? "
OR, LIKE, "THIS IS MY SON.
I WANT TO HAVE IT," LIKE IT'S A SHIT.
So, I hear a button at the door.
I OPEN THE DOOR, I LOVE, "HEY."
AND HE GOES, "HEY, YOU HAVE MY WALLET?"
AND I GO, "YEAH," AND I GIVE IT TO HIM,
AND HE GOES, "COOL."
AND HE TURNS AROUND , AND HE WAS WALKING.
NO.
IT WAS NOT COOL.
SO I OPEN THE DOOR,
AND I SEE HER ABOUT GETTING ELEVATOR. </ P>
I GO, "HEY, JUSTIN!" And he goes, "YEAH." </ P>
AND I GO, " YOUR DAY IS RIGHT - YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE FUCKING,
AND YOU NEVER GONNA NUMBER OF ANYTHING, "
AND I CLOSE THE DOOR WALKING.
[applause]
YOU HAVE, JUSTIN. YOU CAN HAVE TO HERE, MAN.
THANK YOU. YOU ARE AMAZING. </ P>
THANK YOU MUCH. </ P>
Submitted by: www.subtitlecinema.com