1 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:09,570 [2 LIVE CREW'S "ME SO HORNY" PLAYING] 2 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:11,927 ♪ Oh, sock it to me! Ooh! ♪ 3 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:17,291 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 4 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:19,204 ♪ Me love you long time ♪ 5 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,447 ♪ Me so horny Me so, me so horny ♪ 6 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,444 ♪ Me so horny Me love you long time ♪ 7 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:30,127 ♪ Sittin' at home With my dick on hard ♪ 8 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:34,285 ♪ So I got the black book For a freak to call ♪ 9 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,523 ♪ Picked up the telephone Then dialed the 7 digits ♪ 10 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:41,611 ♪ Said, "Yo, this Marquis, baby Are you down with it?"♪ 11 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:45,003 ♪ I arrived at her house Knocked on the door ♪ 12 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:48,448 ♪ Not having no idea Of what the night had in store ♪ 13 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:52,207 ♪ I'm like a dog in heat A freak without warning ♪ 14 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:57,327 ♪ I have an appetite for sex 'Cause me so horny ♪ 15 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:02,725 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 16 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,484 ♪ Me love you long time ♪ 17 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,524 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 18 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,523 ♪ Oh Me so, me so horny ♪ 19 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,091 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 20 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,163 ♪ Me love you long time ♪ 21 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,290 ♪ It's true you were a virgin Until you met me ♪ 22 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:19,809 ♪ I was the first to make you hot And wetty-wetty ♪ 23 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:23,362 ♪ You tell your parents That we're goin' out ♪ 24 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:26,928 ♪ Never to the movies Just straight to my house ♪ 25 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:30,482 ♪ You said it yourself You like it like I do ♪ 26 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:34,645 ♪ Put your lips on my dick And suck my asshole too ♪ 27 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:38,009 ♪ I'm a freak in heat A dog without warning ♪ 28 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:42,922 ♪ My appetite is sex 'Cause me so horny ♪ 29 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:48,251 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 30 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,004 ♪ Me love you long time ♪ 31 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,128 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 32 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,009 ♪ Oh Me so, me so horny ♪ 33 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,369 ♪ It's like that man they call Georgie Puddin' Pie ♪ 34 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:01,127 ♪ I fuck all the girls And I make 'em cry ♪ 35 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,841 ♪ I'm like a dog in heat A freak without warning ♪ 36 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,925 ♪ I have an appetite for sex 'Cause me so horny ♪ 37 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:12,527 ♪ Oh Me so horny ♪ 38 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,682 ♪ Me love you long time ♪ 39 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:18,686 ♪ Fuckie suckie ♪ 40 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:21,730 ♪ Me fuckie suckie ♪ 41 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:23,407 MAN: Thank you, Grace, 42 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,689 for that lovely a cappella version of the National Anthem. 43 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:31,404 Please welcome to the stage a student who needs no introduction, 44 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:36,566 however, she did write one for me to read to you. Ahem. 45 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,411 "Today's keynote speaker holds the highest GPA 46 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,767 in the history of Merriwether High. 47 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:46,050 As president of Mathletes, Key Club treasurer, editor of the school paper 48 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:51,201 as well as her own self-published magazine Womyn With a Y, 49 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,927 please put your hands together, oh, 50 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,686 but remain seated so those behind you can see, 51 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:02,090 this year's Valedictorian, Brandy Klark." 52 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,930 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 53 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:05,451 FIONA: Go, Pancake. 54 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,289 Please be quiet. 55 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,602 [CROWD MURMURING] 56 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:15,090 Our First Lady, Hillary Rodham Clinton, once said: 57 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:19,131 "You cannot be both young and wise." 58 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,250 I say, let's prove her wrong. 59 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,209 Get off the stage, virgin. 60 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:25,725 [CROWD LAUGHING] 61 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,482 [CROWD MURMURING] 62 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:36,886 GIRL: What a loser. 63 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:38,769 Thank you. That's great. 64 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:42,481 Nice speech, spaz. What, you have like a death wish or something? 65 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,722 Good chime-in. No, I don't have a death wish. 66 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:48,242 Amber, be nice to your sister. CAMERON: Hey, Brandy. Brandy. 67 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,528 Hey, Brandy. Hey, Cameron. 68 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,169 Killer speech. Really inspirational. 69 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,402 Your hair smells good. What is it, lavender? 70 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:02,645 Who is this? Who are you? Oh, hi. Cameron Mitchell, sir. 71 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:06,606 George, it's Cameron. Brandy's science lab partner. 72 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:07,807 AP Chemistry partner. 73 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,007 He is? Yes. 74 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:10,766 Dad. What? 75 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,968 BRANDY: It's Cameron. Okay. 76 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,600 Can I talk to you for a second, please? Yeah. 77 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,083 Um... So it was really rad studying with you this year. 78 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,925 I'm so psyched that we'll be working together at the pool. 79 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,526 Oh, me too. And we're going to Georgetown together. 80 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,321 I mean, you got a full ride, I got a partial, but whatever. 81 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,767 I think that fate is trying to tell us something. 82 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,400 Barf. Two nerds in love. 83 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,040 Shut up. Our relationship is strictly professional. 84 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,680 We're just friends. God, I hate you. 85 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,806 So sorry, Cameron. No, that's okay. 86 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,371 You were saying- Uh... 87 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,171 I was just saying that I think that... 88 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:51,843 I wanted just to give you this. Oh, thanks. Socks. 89 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,049 Actually, those are slippers, and they're for your dorm room-- 90 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,931 [GIRLS SQUEALING] 91 00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,764 WENDY: We did it. 92 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:01,887 Oh, my God. 93 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,361 The slutty Oompa Loompas. Honey. 94 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,205 Can we get out of this family fuck-fest and go to a party? 95 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,522 Hey, Judge. Hi, Mrs. Klark. 96 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,490 [GIRLS WHOOPING] 97 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,563 [SPIN DOCTORS' "TWO PRINCES" PLAYING] 98 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,245 Hey, go fuck yourself. 99 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:20,411 Dude, you don't give the chick you're crushing on socks. 100 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,881 They're slippers, actually. Oh, whatever, man. 101 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,930 You give her girly shit, like perfume or a scrunchie. 102 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:28,686 Brandy is not a girlie girl. She's hard to read. 103 00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,764 Sometimes I think she likes me, sometimes I think she's a robot. 104 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,605 Oh, I knew it. She's a lesbo. She's not a lesbo. 105 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:35,807 [PAGER CHIMES] 106 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:40,090 Oh, shit. Just got a page. Let's jet. 107 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,084 You don't really think she's a lesbo? I kind of do. 108 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,210 I have to register, contact my dorm mate, label my clothes-- 109 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,681 And see Beaches. I got it on VHS. 110 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:55,287 We have to have a special sleepover to watch it before we leave, okay? 111 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,249 Special sleepover? WENDY: Yes. 112 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,880 God, you're so weird. Okay, Wendy, "Watch Beaches." 113 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,690 I'll put it on the list. Thank you. 114 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,804 Save money for computer. That'll take forever. Buy shower shoes. 115 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,928 You know how much bacteria is in communal showers? 116 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,970 If you don't bring your own shoes-- FIONA: God, stop. Put it away. 117 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,771 Put it away. All right? You're being a buzz kill. 118 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:17,085 Okay. Guess it can wait. 119 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,087 I am excited for the all-night graduation party. 120 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,527 Those Mormons have some great activities planned. 121 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:26,606 And I think it's the perfect alternative to Derrick Bergwill's stupid kegger. 122 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,081 I mean, who needs alcohol when there's a hypnotist? 123 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,327 [ALL CHUCKLE] 124 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,801 Fiona, you missed the turn. 125 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,248 Hey, seriously, you missed the turn. Hey. 126 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:38,804 What the H-E-double hockey sticks. 127 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,163 Told you she'd freak. She almost swore. Better turn around, Fiona. 128 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,482 There is no way I am turning this car around. 129 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:47,849 Pancake, I'm taking you to a real party. 130 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,288 Booyah. Class of '93, fucktards. Whoo! 131 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:53,482 CROWD [CHANTING]: Drink, drink, drink, drink! 132 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,569 Drink, drink, drink, drink! 133 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,445 [GAGGING] 134 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,761 You guys suck. FIONA & WENDY: Dicks. 135 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,160 Hey. Ha, ha. 136 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,288 I'm out of here. Let's get our drink on. 137 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:05,561 Excuse me. 138 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,321 Fiona, my dad is a judge. He'd be so disappointed. 139 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,000 You know, Brandy, in Europe there's no drinking age. 140 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,771 Parents give their babies wine and shit. 141 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,969 Twenty-one is, like, such an arbitrary age, because it's, like, 142 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:22,564 you can go to war and die, but you can't have a little drink now? 143 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:26,891 Look, you know I hate hypocritical laws, but, Fiona, you are driving. 144 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,326 Okay, okay, okay. 145 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,562 I'm throwing this out. No. 146 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:35,891 ♪ Pour some sugar on me In the name of love ♪ 147 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:41,690 Who is that? That is Rusty Waters. 148 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:46,960 ♪ Pour your sugar on me Can't get enough ♪ 149 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,691 ♪ You got the peaches I got the cream ♪ 150 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,047 ♪ Sweet to taste, saccharine ♪ 151 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,969 ♪ 'Cause I'm hot Hot, so hot ♪ 152 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:02,405 ♪ Sticky sweet From my head to my feet ♪ 153 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:07,407 ♪ Do you take sugar? One lump or two? ♪ 154 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:13,010 ♪ Now take a bottle Now shake it up ♪ 155 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:17,529 ♪ Break the bubble Break it up ♪ 156 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,721 ♪ Pour some sugar on me ♪ 157 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:27,250 ♪ Come on, fire me up Pour your sugar on me ♪ 158 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:32,924 ♪ I can't get enough Pour some sugar on me ♪ 159 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,650 ♪ In the name of love ♪ 160 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:35,926 We can stay. 161 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,844 CROWD [CHANTING]: Chug, chug, chug, chug! 162 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:43,000 Chug, chug, chug, Chug! 163 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,000 [ALL CHEERING] 164 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,642 Yes. Here's to pussy. 165 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,129 Oh, God. What is that? That's disgusting. 166 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,045 Peach schnapps. The only thing my dad wouldn't miss from the liquor cabinet. 167 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,441 I'm sticking to beer. I'll stick to schnapps. 168 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,049 BRANDY: I can't feel my legs. You're like after-school-special drunk. 169 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:18,410 BRANDY: Beer should be a food group. Am I right? 170 00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:20,164 FIONA: Uh-huh. 171 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,450 BRANDY: I like being on the top bunk. 172 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,086 WENDY: If you fart, I'll kill you. BRANDY: Ladies don't fart. 173 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,241 [BANDY FARTS] 174 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,084 Don't-- Ew. FIONA: Except this one. 175 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,843 FIONA: Sleep well, drunkie. BRANDY: I love you. 176 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,490 I love you too. We love you. 177 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,010 Whoo! 178 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:41,722 We're gonna go party now. Bye. I've made it to the top. 179 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:45,168 Guys are gone? It's all good. 180 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,449 Let's play a game. I hide, you seek. 181 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,922 Here's a hint, I'll be in bed. 182 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,367 Hey, who are you? 183 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,001 [SIGHS] 184 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,530 TOY: I know you are, but what am I? 185 00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:01,286 [LAUGHS] 186 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,930 [OVER SPEAKERS] ♪ Wake up, girl ♪ 187 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,169 ♪ Wanna get a message to you ♪ ♪ 188 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:11,360 Oh, I should do this more often. Getting drunk is fun. 189 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,842 Oh, yeah? It's about to get a whole lot funner. 190 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:19,528 You mean, more fun. "Funner" is not a word. 191 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,961 [♪♪] 192 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,690 ♪ Met her in my dreams She was my queen ♪ 193 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,211 Ooh... 194 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:26,885 ♪ Rivers and streams ♪ 195 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,249 You feel like Marky Mark looks. 196 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:32,681 Oh, yeah? How about some good vibrations? 197 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:34,965 [GASPS] 198 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,366 You ready for some more? 199 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,682 Yeah. As long as you don't have oral herpes. 200 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,171 Wait. 201 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:53,729 Who the fuck are you? Brandy Klark, Valedictorian. 202 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:58,565 Yeah, you're not who I was looking for. 203 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,924 Nice to meet you. 204 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,209 [VOMITING THEN COUGHING] 205 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:08,809 Why am I so stupid? What was I thinking? 206 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:13,249 That it tastes better on the way down than it does coming up? Jesus. 207 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:17,047 Your vomit's the color of Kermit the Frog. Why did I say that? 208 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,010 Why didn't I just keep kissing him back? 209 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,931 Excuse me? Who the fuck did you kiss? 210 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:26,923 Whom. Whom the fuck did you kiss, Brandy? 211 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,203 Whom the fuck did you kiss, Brandy? Brandy. 212 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,443 Whom the fuck did you kiss? Rusty Waters. 213 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,570 What? No. Shut up. 214 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:40,441 Are you serious? I've never felt that way before. 215 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,967 What, horny? Yeah, welcome to puberty, man. 216 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,531 No. 217 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:49,325 Like nervous. Like I didn't know what to do. 218 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:51,488 I always know what to do. Always. 219 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,803 So you're saying that you kissed Rusty Waters... 220 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,567 but you didn't put out? Are you crazy? 221 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,609 Or a lesbian. No. 222 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:04,481 I wanted to put it out. I didn't know how. 223 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:08,406 What do you mean you didn't know how? He kisses you, you just kiss him back. 224 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,130 I mean, it's not that hard. 225 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:14,080 Unless you're good at it, and then it is hard. Do you get it? 226 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,163 Wendy. I mean his dick. 227 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,882 Guys, this is serious. 228 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:22,203 The last time I Frenched was with Jason Swan in ninth grade. 229 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:26,126 We had to end our relationship because it interfered with student-council duties. 230 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,011 You could've gone all the way if you didn't lose your shit. 231 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,766 Can you imagine losing your V card to a college guy? 232 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,526 No premature ejaculation. He'd hit your G spot. 233 00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:37,889 Yeah, you'd probably come like three times. 234 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:41,044 Come where? 235 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,527 Really? That's a" Orgasm. 236 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,524 You think if I'd been ready and wanted to and not so drunk, 237 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,206 had protection and maybe a cute bra, we could've--? 238 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,805 Fucked? 239 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,205 Yeah. Totally. 240 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,203 You blew, like, a major opportunity. 241 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,523 FIONA: I mean, there's nothing wrong with being a late bloomer, Pancake, 242 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:04,651 but let's face it, you're not getting any younger. 243 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,322 I kissed his nipple. What? 244 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,689 I think I sucked on it. 245 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,850 That's okay. But I don't know why. 246 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,570 [ALARM CLOCK RINGING] 247 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,688 [♪♪] 248 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:27,847 [GROANING] 249 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,165 [SPEAKS IN SPANISH THEN HINDI] 250 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,081 Hey, could you get me a coffee? 251 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,563 BRANDY: Ugh. You smell like patchouli. 252 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:46,011 Good morning. Why is Chip shaving his legs in the bathroom? 253 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,401 Because he mountain bikes, duh. 254 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:50,683 MRS. KLARK: Chip spent the night, sweetheart. 255 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,080 Chip did what? 256 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,244 He spent the night. He's going off on some big fishing trip. 257 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:59,041 They won't see each other all summer. He's following Phish, as in the band. 258 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,601 You gave Amber permission to have a boy sleep over? 259 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:02,966 He's a man. In her bed? 260 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,841 Not a boy, it's her fiance. Where else am I gonna have him sleep, on the couch? 261 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,402 Why the heck not? How was your little church party? 262 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:15,481 I wouldn't know. Fiona and Wendy took me to a kegger, 263 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:18,610 I got drunk and puked my brains out. 264 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,203 You should probably ground me. Mom, do we have ginger ale? 265 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,283 Let me see, honey. Dumb-ass. 266 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,602 Are you still drunk? Don't tell them that. 267 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:30,009 MRS. KLARK: Brandy tells us everything. Too much, if you ask me. 268 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,606 And we trust her to make the right decisions. 269 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,411 Or, at least, learn from her mistakes. Right, honey? 270 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,409 You need to learn how to lie. 271 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:41,764 She does not need to lie. In this house, honesty is the only policy. 272 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,803 That's right. MRS. KLARK: There you go, honey. 273 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,440 And we think this hangover is punishment enough. 274 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,080 You're not even grounding her? Un-fucking believable. 275 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,169 Hey! BOTH: Language. 276 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,810 [♪♪] 277 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:09,645 Sorry I'm late. I experimented with alcohol last night and puked on my way here. 278 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,683 I had to stop for mouth wash. 279 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,844 My name is-- Brandy Klark. Yeah, I remember. 280 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,211 Do you ever wear a shirt? 281 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,843 Very funny. Heh. 282 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:27,843 Man, last night was embarrassing. 283 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,965 You must think I'm some type of sex maniac or something, 284 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:35,682 but I promise you, next time, I will ask before I strip down and start kissing you. 285 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,690 Okay. Anyway, 286 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,207 I take it you're here for lifeguard orientation. 287 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,768 How did you know? Tsk. 288 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,681 All right, then. Let's go meet the boss. 289 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:48,927 [♪♪] 290 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,605 [SNORING] 291 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,369 This is the pool manager? Shh. He is sleeping. 292 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,088 Yeah, I can see that. 293 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,527 Excuse me. Sir? 294 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,364 Excuse me. 295 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,205 Hello. 296 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,211 Excuse me. Hi. 297 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,210 Rise and shine. Shh. Shh. 298 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,244 This is... It's all happ-- It's all happening. 299 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,561 [MUMBLING] 300 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,246 It's a happy... Excuse me. I think you're dreaming. 301 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:21,485 Ow. Please stop. Stop it. Please. 302 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,251 Hi. 303 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,401 Hi. I'm Brandy. Brandy Klark? 304 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,687 It's orientation. She's a newbie. Cut her some slack. 305 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,724 Cut me some slack? Correct me if I'm wrong, 306 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:45,726 but I think we're here to work, not hang out and get a suntan. 307 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,924 You guys. Hair of the dog... 308 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,368 I can't believe you're drinking that. Do you know what time it is? 309 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:59,642 No. I partied on Friday. What day is it? 310 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,371 It's Monday. Fucking A, man. 311 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,488 All right, I better get to work. 312 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:06,687 Have at it, 313 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,365 newbie. 314 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,648 You expect me to clean up all that by myself? 315 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:12,365 Yes. I can help you. 316 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,807 No, you won't. 317 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,723 [♪♪] 318 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,329 AMBER: I was thinking the colors for the wedding, 319 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:32,641 burnt sienna and turquoise. 320 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,962 Do they have burnt sienna flowers? I don't know. 321 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,805 Hi, sweetie. Dinner is waiting. BRANDY: Hi. 322 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,644 BRANDY: Sorry I'm late. Hey, sweetie. 323 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,167 Good evening. How was lifeguard orientation? 324 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,044 Humiliating. Hmm. 325 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,328 My burn-out boss decided to make fun of me 326 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,165 in front of this incredibly hot college guy. 327 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,402 Ah-ha. Shocker. 328 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:56,322 Mom, when exactly did you lose your virginity? 329 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,960 On our wedding night. Pass the potatoes, please. 330 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,851 George. The potatoes, Jean. Please? 331 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,002 Oh, honestly. Thank you. 332 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,330 Way to go, dumb-ass. Shut the front door, Amber. 333 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,171 Shut the back door, Brandy. Not the back door. 334 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:11,765 What? Not the back door. 335 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,730 There's doors we don't do. The back door's one of them. 336 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,247 It's the'90s. You'll have to get with the times. 337 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,529 Fine, we can get call waiting. I'm not talking about call waiting. 338 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,081 I'm talking about Brandy. 339 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:34,131 She's clearly curious about sex. I think I should talk to her. 340 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,170 No. No talk. Your talks do more harm than good. 341 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,291 What's that supposed to mean? 342 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,489 It means, you had a talk with Amber and look how that turned out. 343 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,842 You put her on the pill when she was 15 344 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,288 and she's been dating, pardon my French, jerks ever since. 345 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:52,724 And now she's gonna marry one. You can't blame Chip on me. 346 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:56,202 Anyway, what do you expect, Brandy's gonna wait till her wedding night? 347 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,722 It worked for you. 348 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,965 Let's see. I lost my virginity when I was 15. 349 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,731 Fifteen? No, actually 14, with Francois. 350 00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:12,567 Our exchange student? But he was so rude. 351 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:17,851 He always played his stereo too loud. He never let me in his roo-- Touche. 352 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,766 He had a big dick. Yeah, Francois, you know, sex wasn't that bad 353 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,922 but it didn't get good until sophomore year. 354 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,163 College, okay, that makes sense. You're more mature-- 355 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:31,769 High school. By then, the guys had cars. We would park at Beaver Creek. 356 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,890 Do people still do that, go to Beaver Creek to fuck? 357 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,766 How would I know? Oh, shit, right. Virgin. Ha, ha. 358 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,288 Man, it feels good to finally be smarter at something than my kid sister. 359 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,606 Loser. Seriously, you wanna pop that cherry before you get to college. 360 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,125 Before? Why? 361 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,841 Okay, how can I put this in terms a Mathlete understands? 362 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:56,045 Yes, in terms a Mathlete understands. I'm fucking trying, okay? 363 00:19:56,200 --> 00:20:01,570 Freshman year is like one big sexual pop quiz. 364 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,888 You need to do your homework. Homework? 365 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:08,921 Yeah. God, it's crazy, freshman year. I fucked my R.A. the first week. 366 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:12,647 Wonder what she's up to. It was a girl? 367 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,165 Yeah. 368 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,122 Oh, my God, I have a lot of work to do. 369 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:21,086 [NAUGHTY BY NATURE'S "O.P.P." PLAYING] 370 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,442 Let's do this. 371 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,611 ♪ Army with harmony ♪ 372 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,925 ♪ Dave, drop a load on 'em ♪ 373 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,969 Okay, Amber... 374 00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,963 ♪ O.P. P. How can I explain it ♪ 375 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:42,884 let's see what you got. 376 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:44,680 ♪ O is for other ♪ 377 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:48,242 Titty-- F-word. 378 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,160 "Motorboating." 379 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,325 Uncle Andy has a boat. That should be easy. 380 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:58,525 ♪ If the other party isn't gaming It seems I gotta start the explaining ♪ 381 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:03,527 "Teabagging." Must be British. 382 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,808 ♪ You get home, wait a day She's what you wanna know about ♪ 383 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,008 ♪ Then you call up and it's her girlfriend Or her cousin's house ♪ 384 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,044 "Shocker: One who shocks." 385 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,565 Hmm. 386 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:17,807 Maybe it's some kind of surprise. "Hand job, blowjob, rim job." 387 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,607 Why so many jobs? What's a rim job anyway? 388 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,529 Come on, rim job. Not listed. 389 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,041 Guess I will have to ask the librarian on that one. 390 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:34,128 ♪ You down with OPP Yeah, you know me ♪ 391 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:41,448 And finally, sexual intercourse with Rusty Waters. 392 00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:44,441 ♪ You down with OPP Yeah, you know me ♪ 393 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,490 ♪ Who's down with OPP? Break it down ♪ 394 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,565 Well, let's get to work, vagina. 395 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,891 Here you go. Have a good day. Bye-bye. 396 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,209 Hello. Welcome to Big Bun. May I help you? 397 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:05,364 I decided to lose my virginity to Rusty Waters. 398 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,404 You want fries with that? No. 399 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,887 FIONA: "Finger-banged, sixty-nine"? "Titty fuck, blowjob." 400 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,886 I had no idea that you could be so-- Sophisticated? 401 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:22,728 Slutty. There are things on this list that I haven't even done, Brandy. 402 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,524 This is awesome. 403 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,126 So you're gonna scam on other guys and then hook up with Rusty? 404 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:28,970 Mm-hm. No offense, but how? 405 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,128 You said yourself he's out of your league. 406 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,203 I never said that. I did. 407 00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:35,761 Okay, yes, he's out of my league now 408 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:39,447 but not once I learn how to pearl-necklace him. 409 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,687 Huh. Actually sounds really elegant. It's not. 410 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:52,280 Anywho, I'm witty, engaging, smart, well-read. 411 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,603 Once I add "sexually experienced" to the package, he'll want me. 412 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,967 Plus, you're an untouched virgin. 413 00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:00,566 Yeah. What guy's gonna say no to a virgin, right? 414 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,200 Thank you. That's just the encouragement I need. 415 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,448 [♪♪] 416 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:11,403 KIDS [CHANTING]: Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim! 417 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:17,488 Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim! 418 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,929 BRANDY: Cameron. Cameron. CAMERON: Whoa! 419 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,406 What was that about? Pool rats. 420 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,927 Get here at dawn, don't leave till September. 421 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,130 We're cheap daycare for the neighborhood rats. 422 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:39,611 I'm sure it's not that bad. Just you wait, newbie. 423 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:43,845 KIDS: Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim! 424 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,482 Let us swim! Let us swim! Let us swim! 425 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,688 [SHUSHING] 426 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,367 [KIDS CHEERING] 427 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,682 ♪ And a poom-poom Just shake ya rump ♪ 428 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,842 ♪ All I wanna do Is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom ♪ 429 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,771 ♪ And a poom-poom Just shake ya rump ♪ 430 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,849 ♪ All I wanna do Is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom ♪ 431 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,048 ♪ And a poom-poom Just shake ya rump ♪ 432 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,362 ♪ Check, baby, check Baby, one two three four ♪ 433 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,887 ♪ Check, baby, check Baby, one two three ♪ 434 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,168 ♪ Check, baby, check Baby, one two ♪ 435 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:18,560 ♪ Check, baby, check Baby, one ♪ 436 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:20,643 ♪ It's called a rump shaker ♪ 437 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,611 Hey. guys, get Off the-- Aah! 438 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:24,886 [KIDS LAUGHING] 439 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,961 See you later, sucker. Loser 440 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,811 Tried to warn you, newbie. Aah! 441 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,450 [KIDS LAUGHING] 442 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:41,083 What the truck, Willy? Welcome to the Thunderdome, bitch. 443 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,242 [SIREN WAILING] 444 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,085 Settle down and give her a chance to catch her breath. 445 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,687 Hey, come here. You all right? 446 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,243 Come on. 447 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:02,405 Now you okay? I am now. 448 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:03,761 Good. 449 00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:05,725 [KIDS LAUGHING] 450 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,087 Just a little hazing, newbie. You're good. 451 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,481 Can't believe you didn't see that coming. 452 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:16,440 Hey, guys, put those noodles down. Hey. 453 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,405 Ha-ha-ha. Who did that, the bubbles in the whistle? 454 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,927 I haven't seen that in years. That's funny. 455 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,449 ♪ Darling, don't you go away ♪ 456 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,125 on“! 457 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:30,251 Mayonnaise? In my sunscreen bottle? Come on, guys, I'm not that pale. 458 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:31,930 You are a true doofus. 459 00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:34,929 She's so stupid. 460 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:38,443 KIDS: Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop! 461 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,642 Newbie, poo patrol. 462 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:47,682 Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. How very Caddyshack of you. 463 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,645 What did she mean by Caddyshack? Don't know. 464 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,121 It's not poop. It's not poop. I'm getting hazed. 465 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,288 You know what that means? 466 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,488 What is it, you guys, Baby Ruth? 467 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,960 Snickers? It's very convincing, Willy. I'm impressed. 468 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:08,245 Oh, no. She's not gonna-- Dude, she's gonna. 469 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,007 [GAGS] 470 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,481 ALL: Oh... 471 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,768 [SQUEALS] 472 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:19,490 [LAUGHING] 473 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:23,441 Get out of my way! 474 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,171 Oh, my God. I've never seen that before. 475 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,290 That's not even on Faces of Death or any of that shit. 476 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,847 [KIDS CHATTERING & LAUGHING] 477 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:38,324 I fucking like this girl. That was awesome, newbie. 478 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,323 [♪♪] 479 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,490 Both the boys and girls locker rooms are clean, okay? 480 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,529 It's not really fair you made me do both. 481 00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,809 Yeah, well, life's not fair, newbie. You got that right. 482 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:57,605 No! 483 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,206 Brandy, help-- Not falling for it. 484 00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:05,122 [♪♪] 485 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,486 [GASPS THEN COUGHS] 486 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,851 You really don't know how to swim? I hate the water. 487 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,890 What's wrong with you? Don't tell anybody. I'll lose my job. 488 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,731 You should lose your job. That is so irresponsible. 489 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,168 I'm gonna call the Parks Department. Oh, no, no, no. Hey, hey. 490 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,403 Brandy? Let's not tell anybody. Let's pretend it didn't happen. 491 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,850 You want me to lie? My dad is a judge. 492 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,846 Shit, shit, shit. Look, I'll learn, okay? I'll learn how to swim. 493 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,002 You know what? Hey, you can teach me. 494 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,050 Seems like something you'd be into. You're bossy and stuff. 495 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,363 You like to order people around. Come on, okay? Please? 496 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,443 I can't lose my job, please. 497 00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:00,287 Fine, but I charge $6.25 an hour, cash. 498 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,647 Shit. And no more hazing. 499 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:07,089 Okay, no more hazing, $6.25 an hour. Hey, Brandy. Hey, deal. 500 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,285 Deal. Whoo! 501 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,842 Okay, that's it, that's it. That's it. Hey, come on. 502 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:17,089 Hey. You're still gonna teach me how to swim, right? 503 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:21,040 Brand? Where's your towel? I need to dry off. 504 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,800 ♪ Come on ♪ ♪ Let's talk about sex, baby ♪ 505 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,884 ♪ Let's talk about you and me ♪ 506 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,725 Okay, Pancake, you made that list like a week ago. 507 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,690 When are you gonna grow a pair and do something on it? 508 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,207 Lay off, Fiona. Some people are just slow learners. 509 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:39,564 I'm not a slow learner. I got a five on my advanced-placement tests. 510 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,324 Oh, right. 511 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:45,326 And it just so happens, I plan on getting... 512 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,882 finger-banged tonight. 513 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,766 I think it's finger-blasted. No, it's finger-bombed, bitches. 514 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:56,642 Okay, well, whatever it is, I'm going to do it tonight. 515 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,084 All right. 516 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,960 Just how exactly do you know when to do it? 517 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:05,726 You'll be like wet and stuff. You'll be wet and stuff. 518 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,326 Make sure to tell the guy how wet you are. They love that. 519 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,448 The guy's gonna be doing most of the work. 520 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,642 Yeah, but most guys suck at it. 521 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,689 When Ross Peterson tried to finger me, 522 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,683 it was like he was digging for loose change. 523 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,002 Like dimes between couch cushions. 524 00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:20,571 ♪ Let's talk about sex ♪ 525 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,688 Sounds terrible. 526 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,126 [DOORBELL RINGS] 527 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,451 Ohh. What's up, my bitches? 528 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,324 What happened to your fingers? 529 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:34,451 Burnt the shit out of them lighting off some cherry bombs. It's gnarly, right? 530 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,286 FIONA: Hey. Get in here. 531 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,365 Get it together, Klark. 532 00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:45,241 Women get fingered every day. It's not that big of a deal. 533 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,528 Come on. 534 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:50,166 [SIGHS] 535 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:52,322 [HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 536 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,120 What? You want some? 537 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:07,731 Yeah, I want some. 538 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,891 Oh! I'm such a goof. 539 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:20,960 All over my shirt. 540 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,081 Sorry. 541 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,402 Did you just double wash? Yeah. 542 00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:39,570 [MAZZY STAR'S "FADE INTO YOU" PLAYING] 543 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,210 [BOTH MOANING] 544 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,927 Ow. Wait, wait, wait. What? What? 545 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,285 Oh, my God, do I have beer breath? No. 546 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,010 Just let me kiss you back. 547 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:53,925 Right. 548 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,767 Yeah, I knew that. 549 00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:58,840 Sorry. 550 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:10,608 ♪ I want to take a breath that's true ♪ 551 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,922 [HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 552 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,489 I'm winning. 553 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,405 Do you think I should try and scam with Duffy? 554 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,369 No. Stop. 555 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:29,567 [DUFFY GRUNTS] 556 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,610 It's just the wine coolers talking, man. You can't hold your liquor. 557 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,487 But we have so much history. 558 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:39,281 You guys dated for like a week in the eighth grade. 559 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:44,446 I know, but I think I just never stopped loving him. 560 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:47,080 Sega's my shit. WENDY: I like your shirt. 561 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:51,086 I love hypercolor on you. So cool. 562 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,849 I'm so wet. Touch me. 563 00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:06,004 ♪ I look to you to see the truth ♪ 564 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,363 I said I'm wet. Finger me already. 565 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:15,844 I will. Is it shorts or a skirt? 566 00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,204 Neither, they're skorts. 567 00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:23,206 Over or under? 568 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,329 Under. You sure? 569 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:29,811 Yes. 570 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:34,682 ♪ Some kind of night Into your darkness ♪ 571 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,687 BRANDY: But I'm definitely not calling it a "blast." 572 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:44,851 Let's call it a "finger bomb," emphasis on the "bomb." 573 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,047 Well, how did it feel? 574 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,202 [♪♪] 575 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:54,883 Kind of like an itch you can't scratch. 576 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,241 Mm-hm. 577 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,402 [♪♪] 578 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:05,370 Oh. Look, "How to find your G spot." Hey, can I see that? Give it. 579 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:07,569 Can you watch the pool for a minute? 580 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,367 Do you guys masturbate? BOTH: No. 581 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,648 What? That's gross. 582 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,081 Really? You've never touched yourself down there? 583 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:20,962 Well, maybe I straddled the couch. Only when I can't sleep. 584 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:26,841 It says here that women should "flick the bean" as much as the guys do. 585 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,047 "Forty percent of women never climax during sex 586 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,124 because the guy can't find their G spot." This is a travesty. 587 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,400 Ladies, we must take charge of our own sexual gratification. 588 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:42,884 Ow! What the--? Get away from me. Get away, perv. 589 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:47,846 He put his finger up my ass. I have to put "masturbate" on the list now. 590 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,042 [♪♪] 591 00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:54,729 [BRANDY PANTING] 592 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,802 I'm not a quitter. I am not a quitter. 593 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,770 Come on, Klark. Come on. 594 00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,322 [♪♪] 595 00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,441 UVA protection. That's right. 596 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,602 UVP protection. Yes. 597 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:30,888 Hypoallergenic. It better be. 598 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,042 Waterproof. Oh, God. 599 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,089 Non-greasy formula. Yes. 600 00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:36,287 Soothing aloe vera. 601 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:37,521 [PHONE RINGING] 602 00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:41,406 Yes! Aloe vera! Yeah! Aloe vera! Yes! 603 00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,766 Privacy, please. Phone call, ass wipe. 604 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,048 Make it quick. Chip's calling from Vegas. 605 00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:56,683 What, between lap dances? Ha, ha. Phish is playing a show there. 606 00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,810 Were you humping a pillow? None of your business. 607 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,209 Loser 608 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,807 Please be Rusty. Please be Rusty. Please be Rusty. 609 00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:14,364 This is Brandy. CAMERON: Hey, Brandy, it's Cameron. 610 00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:17,000 Oh, hi, Cameron. I can't really talk right now. 611 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,846 My stupid sister is expecting a phone call from her idiot boyfriend. 612 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,725 AMBER: Uh-- Fiancé. Correction, fiancé. 613 00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,167 Get off the line, Amber. Eat me. 614 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:30,530 Hurry up, Cameron. I was wondering if Brandy wanted to-- 615 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:34,480 I mean, if you, Brandy, wanted to go out on a date. 616 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:41,569 Sure. Why not? AMBER: Why not? 617 00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:44,200 What kind of shit answer is that? Be quiet, Amber. 618 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,328 Don't you have a dick to suck or something? 619 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:50,166 Several. Unlike you, fucktard. Cluck you, Amber. 620 00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:53,244 Cluck? Say "fuck," you loser. Get-- No! 621 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,209 Don't touch me. BRANDY: Let go! 622 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,089 Mom! 623 00:35:57,240 --> 00:35:58,526 [BRANDY & AMBER SCREAMING OVER PHONE] 624 00:35:58,680 --> 00:35:59,966 AMBER: Shut up--! 625 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,122 [LINE DISCONNECTS] 626 00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:08,048 Dude, what did she say? 627 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:14,129 Wait. Why we doing the dance? Why we doing the dance? 628 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:16,362 What happened? The Cam-Cam dancing? 629 00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,126 She said yes. Well, technically, she said "why not." 630 00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:23,291 But you know what, I asked her out on a date, she said yes and it's a "date" date. 631 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,728 It's a motherfucking "date" date. You're doing the "date-date" date! 632 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:28,685 Gonna get his dick all wet. CAMERON: Ow! 633 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,366 What am I gonna wear? Not that. 634 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:35,206 Why? It's just Cameron. It doesn't matter, Pancake, who it is. 635 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,601 You can't keep dressing like Tracey Gold. 636 00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,168 Do you wanna borrow my new vest? Maybe. 637 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,561 No. No. Look. 638 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,722 I rummaged, ah, 639 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:49,928 through my aunt's closet, 640 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:53,169 and she's a divorcee, so she's really lonely. 641 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,608 But she dresses like she's 20, even though she's 30. 642 00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,888 Ugh. Look, right? 643 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:03,807 Wow. I like that. Mm-hm. Feel it. It's like half-silk. 644 00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:07,806 So, what are you guys gonna do? Oh. I was thinking dry hump. 645 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,201 Whoa. Ha, ha. Oh, God, no. 646 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,408 She meant, where you guys gonna go? 647 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,961 Oh, we're going to the movies. 648 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:16,605 Forget dry hump. 649 00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,923 Hand job. All the way. 650 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,325 HOT DOG [OVER SPEAKERS]: Hold on till I absorb some heat. 651 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,529 Some added tang might please you too. 652 00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:29,769 I'll slide into an oven-fresh bun 653 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:33,003 and I'm ready for your eating fun. 654 00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:36,562 MAN: Why don't you try a juicy-good hot dog? 655 00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:38,882 Mm. Delicious. 656 00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:41,042 [CHEWING NOISILY] 657 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:46,687 [FEMALE ANNOUNCER TALKING OVER SPEAKERS] 658 00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,366 [WHISPERS] What are you doing? [WHISPERS] What do you think? 659 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:51,884 FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Smoking is not permitted in this auditorium. 660 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:56,847 Oh. Ooh. Aah. 661 00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:58,804 Shh! My bad. 662 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,888 How am I doing? You're doing really good. 663 00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:06,203 I thought so. I felt some pre-cum. 664 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:09,330 I was worried I was gonna have to spit on my hand 665 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:12,086 but you seem to be progressing quite nicely. 666 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:17,806 FEMALE ANNOUNCER: No gum-chewing. No necking and no talking. 667 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,566 Why'd you stop? What? 668 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:26,167 Excuse me. 669 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,367 [SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY] [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 670 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:42,722 [PHONE RINGING] 671 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,931 Chip, you're in deep shit. It's been two weeks. 672 00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,970 Is Mom home? It's a medical emergency. No. Bye. 673 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:50,361 Wait. What? 674 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:53,683 I need your expertise. 675 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,090 I'm listening. 676 00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,000 Okay. 677 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:03,250 So I'm giving a guy a hand job-- Now? Gross. Get off the phone. 678 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,761 No, not "now" now. He's in the theater. 679 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,082 You left him? You're gonna give him blue balls. 680 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,203 You'll make him sterile. Finish him off. 681 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,364 Ship. But I don't know how. 682 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,842 There's a weird extra skin. Doesn't look like it did in health class. 683 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:20,601 What? He's not circumcised? What are his parents, like hippies? 684 00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:24,003 I don't know. Will you just help me? All right. Calm down. 685 00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:26,811 This is what you do with the pig in the blanket. 686 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:31,289 [TIRES SCREECHING OVER SPEAKERS] 687 00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,442 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] 688 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:37,646 [WHISPERING] Everything okay? 689 00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:39,370 Did I do something wrong? [WHISPERS] No. 690 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,050 Are you sure? 691 00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:43,520 [ZIPPER OPENS] 692 00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,491 Is that butter? Oh! Uh-huh. 693 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:54,641 [MOANS] 694 00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:56,809 Do something. 695 00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:03,003 Do you want me to touch you? No. 696 00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:08,003 Oh. Oh. 697 00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:12,001 I paid $5 for this. Okay? They're ruining it. 698 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:13,321 [PANTING] 699 00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:19,170 [MUMBLING] 700 00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:21,682 [IN NORMAL VOICE] I love you! MAN [OVER SPEAKERS]: Aah! 701 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:25,083 Shh! [WHISPERS] Sorry. 702 00:40:25,240 --> 00:40:27,527 [PANTING] 703 00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,523 Oh, my God. 704 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:33,291 My, oh, my. 705 00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:37,765 AMBER: Make sure you get more SnackWells. 706 00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,082 I got it, honey. Number one on the list. 707 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,129 Good morning. MRS. KLARK: Hi, honey. 708 00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:46,285 Amber. Mother. Why are some men not circumcised? 709 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:48,363 Oh, come on. It's 9 a.m. 710 00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,683 I think the better question is, why are men circumcised at all? 711 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:57,525 Now see, most boys become circumcised at birth, right when they're newborn. 712 00:40:57,720 --> 00:40:59,848 Some parents do it for religious reasons, 713 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,970 others do it because they feel it's more hygienic. 714 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:08,411 But the uncircumcised penis, see that? See that turtle neck there? 715 00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:10,688 Mom. I'm eating. You should see this too. 716 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:13,411 You're getting married. That cow neck-- 717 00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:18,566 There? Mm-hm. That is very, very sensitive. 718 00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:20,449 And now if you remove that, 719 00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,649 then you're actually reducing a man's sexual pleasure. 720 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,250 That's terrible. Isn't that awful? 721 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,402 Does it hurt? That's a good question. 722 00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:31,484 What's a good question? Did it hurt when you got circumcised? 723 00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:34,007 I'm late for work. No coffee? 724 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:35,367 Bye, Daddy. 725 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,407 Hey, let me get that for you. 726 00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:43,765 Thanks. 727 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:48,044 It's the least I can do. Watch your step. You look fantastic. 728 00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,841 Miss Chardine. You little minx. Come here, you. Let me take that. 729 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,923 Thanks. RUSTY: Someone's using her Ab Roller. 730 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,209 Let me tell you something, ladies. Men have a one-track mind. 731 00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,011 Flash a little skin and they're like putty in your... 732 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,601 WILLY: Like you're a car. I'm gonna fill you up with oil 733 00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:04,524 or put it all over your body. 734 00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:05,761 RUSTY: No, Willy, I got this. 735 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:11,444 [EN VOGUE'S "MY LOVIN' (YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET IT)" PLAYING] 736 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,443 This Will do. 737 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,367 ♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪ Not this time ♪ 738 00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:18,807 ♪ No, you're never gonna get it My lovin' ♪ 739 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:22,442 ♪ Never, ever gonna get it No, you're never gonna get it ♪ 740 00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,642 ♪ Ow Never, ever gonna get it ♪ 741 00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,088 New suit? What, this old thing? 742 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:28,687 ♪ My lovin' ♪ 743 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,127 ♪ Never, ever gonna get it ♪ 744 00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:34,445 No cuts. 745 00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:41,644 ♪ You never was this nice You can't fool me ♪ 746 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:46,362 ♪ It doesn't matter what you do Or what you say ♪ 747 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:50,605 ♪ She doesn't love you, no way ♪ 748 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:55,326 ♪ Maybe next time You'll give your woman a little respect ♪ 749 00:42:55,480 --> 00:43:00,122 ♪ So you won't be hearing her say No way ♪ 750 00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:02,328 [WATER SPLASHING] 751 00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:07,123 Ready to rotate? Sure. 752 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,521 Might wanna put your top back on first, though. 753 00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:12,764 Oh, my God. 754 00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:15,365 [KIDS LAUGHING] 755 00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:19,525 Well, if it isn't the president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. 756 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,921 KID: Itty Bitty Titty Committee. 757 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,202 You guys, give it back. 758 00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,727 I'm the president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. 759 00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:32,043 You guys, give it back now. WILLY: You look like a little boy. 760 00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:36,047 Ha-ha-ha. Oh, my God. I have bigger boobs than you. 761 00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:38,810 [WILLY & KIDS LAUGHING] 762 00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,440 BOY: Bet you didn't see that one coming. 763 00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:48,449 Women in Europe go topless all the time. So deal with it. 764 00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,371 But they have boobs. Big deal. 765 00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:52,891 [YORTOISE'S "THE SMARTEST STUPIDEST GIRL" PLAYING] 766 00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:54,690 [LAUGHS] 767 00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,287 What, Jenna, your kids never seen tits before? What? 768 00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:02,923 That chick is crazy. Yeah, I know what you mean. 769 00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,128 I like it. 770 00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,204 What do you mean, you like it? 771 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,522 Dad, guess what. 772 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:19,920 ♪ Just the smartest stupidest girl I know Her head won't let that stuff all go ♪ 773 00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:23,243 BRANDY: Good, that's it. There you go. 774 00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,050 Just blow little bubbles. 775 00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,367 Little itty bitty bubbles? Ha-ha-ha. 776 00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,927 Fine. I can't swim. You're killing me. 777 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:33,527 I can't swim. You're in four feet of water. 778 00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,728 God, you're such a jerk. 779 00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,603 You're right, I'm a jerk. 780 00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,003 You still have no tits. 781 00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:48,086 [SIGHS] 782 00:44:48,240 --> 00:44:49,765 Relax. Okay. 783 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,207 If you keep tensing up, you're gonna sink. 784 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:53,961 Hey, look at that. 785 00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,645 RAUGHS] 786 00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:59,691 Hey. Hey, I'm floating. Whoo. 787 00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,283 Whoo! 788 00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:07,082 [♪♪] 789 00:45:07,240 --> 00:45:09,004 It's weird, huh? Yeah. 790 00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,162 It's like the minute you give up control, 791 00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:14,130 you just know what to do without doing anything. 792 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:17,804 Thought about taking your own advice? 793 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:19,371 What's that supposed to mean? 794 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,000 Well, don't take this the wrong way, but, you know, 795 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,243 sometimes you can be super bossy 796 00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:28,882 and totally annoying and, you know, kind of a bitch. 797 00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:33,011 You should take it down a notch. Or 12. 798 00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:37,929 I'm sorry. 799 00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:41,844 I don't mean to come off that way. See, that was really good. 800 00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:46,847 It's, like, you were sad and I started to feel bad for you. Are you crying? 801 00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,322 No. God, you just called me a bitch. 802 00:45:50,720 --> 00:45:52,848 See, now you're starting to bum me out again. 803 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,527 Yo, butt munch. You want that ride or not? Let's go. 804 00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:59,001 Coming, Amber. 805 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,527 Willy, this is Amber, my sister. Amber, Willy, my boss. 806 00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:07,526 Hey. Amber Klark. No way. 807 00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:11,164 I was a senior when you were a freshman. 808 00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:13,209 Oh. I thought you were the custodian. 809 00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:14,361 [CHUCKLES] 810 00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:17,490 Everybody thought I was the custodian. So you guys are sisters? 811 00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:19,165 You two are nothing alike. 812 00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:21,209 Thank you. Thank you. 813 00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,681 I'm gonna get my stuff. Hurry up, fucktard. 814 00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,360 I don't wanna miss Home Improvement. Shut up, Amber. 815 00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:30,081 You shut up. Ha, ha. Home Improvement. Hey. 816 00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,360 Howdy, neighbor. I'm not your neighbor. 817 00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:36,211 I was doing Wilson, the neighbor in Home Improvement. 818 00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,604 Whatever. Could you give me a towel? 819 00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:40,841 No. 820 00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:44,322 MRS. KLARK: I've been wanting to have this conversation with you for a long time 821 00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:47,484 but I wasn't sure if you were mature enough to handle it. 822 00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:52,130 I lost my virginity when I was 17 823 00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:54,328 with Tucker Brooks. 824 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:59,929 You mean, I wasn't your first? No. 825 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:03,402 Was I your second? No. We metjunior year in college. 826 00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:05,642 Don't be silly. So where did--? 827 00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:07,922 Where did you and Tucker Brooks do it? 828 00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:09,923 In the vagina, but that's not important. 829 00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:13,323 No, I meant as in a location. Oh. Oh. 830 00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:15,562 I assume the vagina. Oh. Oh. Oh. 831 00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:18,767 Beaver Creek. Like in the back seat of a car? 832 00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,607 Mostly. I never went to Beaver Creek. 833 00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,127 You didn't? No, I told you. 834 00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:29,608 My first time was with you. But you were so good. 835 00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:32,843 Thanks. I read Penthouse. 836 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,810 [CRYING] 837 00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:40,203 Why didn't I think of that? Doy. 838 00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:41,964 [♪♪] 839 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:52,889 Whoa. Look at the afro on this snatch. It's the biggest thing I've ever seen. 840 00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:56,449 Did they not have Nair in the '70s? Why are their boobs so small? 841 00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,802 Because they're real? Weird. 842 00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,130 It's the worst feeling. It's like a tiny boxer is, like, 843 00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:08,402 boom, one nut, two nut, three-- Just pounding away at your nuts. 844 00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:09,971 What do you think they're talking about? 845 00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:11,963 [TALKING INDISTINCTLY] 846 00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:15,044 I don't know. Stupid stuff. Probably about their periods. 847 00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:17,971 How much they like chocolate. Anyway, blue balls is real. 848 00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:20,162 Somebody should do something. Mm. 849 00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:23,331 You guys, Rusty just looked at me, Huh? 850 00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:26,327 And then whispered something to Derrick. 851 00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,847 What do you think they're talking about? 852 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:30,161 [♪♪] 853 00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:31,481 Hey 854 00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,007 You wanna keep it? You want your snorkel back? 855 00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,482 Find out what Rusty's talking about. Find out what they're talking about. 856 00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,331 Be secretive, and come back and tell us. Done. 857 00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:42,841 Pronto. Fine. 858 00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,405 So, Pancake, are you ready to knock "blowjob" off that list? 859 00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:50,889 I think so. 860 00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,441 WENDY: There's some really good articles in here. 861 00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:54,681 FIONA: I'm not reading. 862 00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:58,003 Mm. You should check out page 47. 863 00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:02,682 It says that if a guy drinks pineapple juice 864 00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:06,610 his semen will taste sweet. Isn't that weird? 865 00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:10,888 RUSTY: I'm playing a set at the Koffee Klatch this Saturday. You should come. 866 00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:14,806 I know it's not a big venue like the Moose or anything, but, uh, 867 00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:16,007 a gig's a gig. 868 00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:19,050 Did you highlight this? Brandy, you can't swallow. 869 00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,806 Why? Do you know how many calories jizz has? 870 00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:25,368 You must get so much pussy with that guitar. 871 00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:30,323 Totally. Why else would I play this thing? 872 00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:34,242 Rusty's playing Cats at the Moose on Saturday. 873 00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:35,890 Cats? 874 00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:38,365 I love that musical. 875 00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:39,760 [HOUSE OF LOVE'S "I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU" PLAYING] 876 00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:42,651 If you drink pineapple juice, she'll give you a blowjob. 877 00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,401 You guys want me to get you some pineapple juice? 878 00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,207 Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, that'd be nice. 879 00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:58,364 We have to go to that show. CAMERON: Hey, Brandy. 880 00:49:58,520 --> 00:49:59,760 Hey, Cameron. 881 00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:02,924 So I would love to take you out this weekend. 882 00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:04,605 Sleepless in Seattle is playing. 883 00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:07,764 I don't know about you, but I love anything with Meg Ryan. 884 00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:10,685 Yeah, it sure would suck to miss that. 885 00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:13,320 See you later, Pancake. Bye,guys. 886 00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:15,608 So I'll pick you up at 8? 887 00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:17,091 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 888 00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,931 Knock, knock. Laundry delivery. 889 00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:21,201 Whatever. 890 00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:22,930 [SHAYNE BLUE'S "GOODBYE" PLAYING SOFTLY OVER SPEAKERS] 891 00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:25,964 Don't worry, I washed your Wonderbras on delicate. 892 00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:29,761 I wasn't sure how to fold your G-strings. There's not much to them, huh? 893 00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:31,291 That's the point. 894 00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:32,965 RAUGHS] 895 00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:34,401 Right. 896 00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:38,565 Mm. Your lotion smells really nice. What is that, vanilla? 897 00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:41,240 Strawberries and cream. Mm. 898 00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:42,447 Why are you being nice? 899 00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:45,723 I know how stressed out you are, planning a wedding and everything. 900 00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:49,680 I just thought I should help out my big sis. 901 00:50:50,720 --> 00:50:53,564 God, you know what? It is stressful. 902 00:50:53,720 --> 00:50:56,963 You've no idea how hard it is trying to find a hot wedding dress. 903 00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:00,169 Everything is ankle length. I know, right? 904 00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:01,321 [SCOFFS] 905 00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:04,963 So, what are your plans for after this summer? 906 00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:08,403 I'm marrying Chippy. Duh. I mean for work, Amber. 907 00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:11,086 You didn't go to college for your MRS degree. 908 00:51:11,240 --> 00:51:12,890 AMBER: Planning a wedding is a job. 909 00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:15,771 Besides, after we're married, Chippy will take care of me. 910 00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:19,561 Amber, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. 911 00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,411 You can support yourself. You don't need a man to do that. 912 00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,682 ♪ Has the past overthrown you? ♪ 913 00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:30,768 Wow. Those things really work. And that's why I don't have to. 914 00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:35,007 Mm-hm. Yeah. Like that. 915 00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,162 [BAND PLAYING "QUARANTINE"] 916 00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:46,291 I don't understand why this band is still playing. 917 00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:49,125 Rusty should be up. 918 00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:51,009 I'm gonna find out what's going on. 919 00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:52,400 FIONA: Okay. WENDY: Cool. 920 00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:58,203 ♪ I broke up today In pieces ♪ 921 00:51:58,360 --> 00:51:59,407 BRANDY: Excuse me. 922 00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:02,843 ♪ I don't know my name ♪ 923 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,729 Excuse me. Hi. 924 00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:07,645 I know you're singing, but I don't know who else to ask. 925 00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:11,043 Do you know if Rusty Waters' Acoustic Experience is on next? 926 00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:12,645 ♪ I wanna burn ♪ 927 00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,485 Just nod your head yes. Are they on after you? 928 00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,401 ♪ Does anybody wanna Take a little piece of me? ♪ 929 00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:20,403 Was that a yes? Get up here. 930 00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:22,891 [CROWD WHOOPS] 931 00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:25,850 ♪ Does anybody wanna End up sleeping with the fleas? ♪ 932 00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:30,091 ♪ Does anybody wanna Live inside a quarantine with me? ♪ 933 00:52:30,240 --> 00:52:34,723 Oh, my God, Fiona. Oh, my God. Look over there. 934 00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,685 ♪ Does anybody wanna End up sleeping with the fleas? ♪ 935 00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:40,641 No fucking way! 936 00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,969 ♪ Does anybody wanna Take a little piece of me? ♪ 937 00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:46,328 Oh, my God. Who are you? 938 00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:48,007 Hi. 939 00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:49,844 ♪ Does anybody wanna Live inside a quarantine? ♪ 940 00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:55,211 ♪ Tell me that you told me so When I end up all alone ♪ 941 00:52:55,560 --> 00:53:00,560 ♪ Tell me that you told me so When I end up all alone ♪ 942 00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,846 [CROWD WHOOPING AND CHEERING] 943 00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:13,249 Thanks, Boise. Clinton sucks. Perot in '96. 944 00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:16,290 Free Tibet, if you're not too busy. 945 00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:21,401 And also thank you for the opportunity for having me dance. 946 00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:22,846 [DOORBELL RINGS] 947 00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:28,761 Good evening, Miss Klark. Judge. Hi. 948 00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:31,002 Who are you? George, this is Cameron, 949 00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:33,003 Brandy's study buddy. 950 00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:35,084 Hi. So is Brandy ready? 951 00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:39,730 Oh. I'm sorry, I think there might be some mistake. 952 00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:43,930 Classic. Nerd got stood up. I guess nice guys do come in last. 953 00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:45,730 Aww. Heh, heh. 954 00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:48,645 You can say that again. George, will you give it a rest? 955 00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:50,484 That was 20 years ago. 956 00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:56,530 So she's not here? Oh, jeez, Kirk, come on in. 957 00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,091 Cameron. It's Cameron. 958 00:53:58,240 --> 00:54:00,004 Who's Cameron? 959 00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:05,724 MRS. KLARK: I'm sure Brandy will be back soon. Just make yourself at home. 960 00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:07,882 [CLAY BIRDS' "FREE" PLAYING] 961 00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:10,285 [SIGHS] 962 00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:14,001 ♪ Hello, do you remember me? ♪ 963 00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:15,207 [DOOR CLOSES] 964 00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:20,571 ♪ I'm the one who was with you When you were free ♪ 965 00:54:20,720 --> 00:54:24,520 ♪ Hello, do you think about me? ♪ 966 00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:30,361 ♪ I was the one, say you do Say you do when you couldn't see ♪ 967 00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:37,087 ♪ I would have come alone With you ♪ 968 00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:40,965 ♪ But I knew just what you'd do ♪ 969 00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:43,566 CAMERON: "French kiss, make out, 970 00:54:43,720 --> 00:54:46,929 finger bomb, no skorts, 971 00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:49,364 hand job Cameron." 972 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,480 ♪ What I wanted to ♪ 973 00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:56,728 What the hell? 974 00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,008 [ELASTICA'S "STUTTER" PLAYING] 975 00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:03,360 Drink up, boys, and follow me. Whoo-hoo! 976 00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:13,285 [ALL CHUCKLING] 977 00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:15,844 ♪ No need to whine, boy ♪ 978 00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:18,566 ♪ Like a wind-up toy You stutter at my feet ♪ 979 00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:21,041 Why'd they buy us pineapple juice? 980 00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,089 I think they're Mormons, bro. 981 00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,523 GIRL: Look at me, guys. 982 00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:27,924 [GIRLS CHATTERING AND LAUGHING] 983 00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:31,251 You might be right. 984 00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:35,970 Bass has four strings, guitar has six. 985 00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:39,727 The bass covers the lower end of the-- Okay, shut up. 986 00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:43,043 ♪ It was a friend of a friend So over you bend ♪ 987 00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:46,727 ♪ Now you don't talk to either one ♪ 988 00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:48,689 ♪ And the barb from the rose ♪ 989 00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:50,763 ♪ Took some skin off your nose ♪ 990 00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,605 ♪ You don't give in to anything ♪ 991 00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:59,769 I'm sorry. I just feel so bad for him. 992 00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:13,970 ♪ You've been driving all day From a mile away ♪ 993 00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:17,642 So wet in here. 994 00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:21,248 Are you gonna come in? 995 00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:27,004 Can't. Dyed my hair this morning. Can't get it wet for 48 hours. 996 00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:32,642 Well, that's a shame 997 00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:38,048 because a hot shower sounds really nice right about now. 998 00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:40,804 If you ask me. 999 00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:47,166 VAN: Uh, señorita, you are so amorous. 1000 00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:51,644 Your energy is just electric, you know? Heh. 1001 00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:55,561 Life on the road is so treacherous, you know? 1002 00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:58,286 Never would've thought touring the Pacific Northwest 1003 00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,090 would be so harrowing-- 1004 00:57:00,240 --> 00:57:02,402 Are you gonna talk the whole time I blow you? 1005 00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:07,003 I'm trying to figure this out. I think I have to breathe through my nose. Shh! 1006 00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:09,328 Apologies. Thank you. 1007 00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:13,849 I'm a musical wordsmith, honey. Lamenting is what I do. 1008 00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:16,850 And telling the troubadour's tale is what I do best-- 1009 00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:19,002 [MOANING] 1010 00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:26,884 [VAN MOANING] 1011 00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:34,206 Showers. 1012 00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:38,524 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 1013 00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:43,044 ♪ Oh, oh Through the valleys of Joshua trees ♪ 1014 00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:45,567 [YELLS THEN GRUNTING] 1015 00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:46,846 What the fuck? 1016 00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:51,046 Brandy. Who's this guy? 1017 00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:55,242 Brandy, answer me. What are you doing here? 1018 00:57:56,320 --> 00:58:00,723 Mm. Open your mouth and answer me. 1019 00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:06,562 Did it taste like pineapple juice? 1020 00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:10,645 Shut up. Just shut up. I-- You two just stay apart. 1021 00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:12,922 You guys over there, you guys over here. 1022 00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:16,562 Dude, these are like little girls, all right? What were you thinking? 1023 00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:21,766 Brandy, you're being totally, totally irresponsible, okay? 1024 00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:26,091 [SCOFFS] 1025 00:58:28,840 --> 00:58:30,171 Wow. 1026 00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:33,603 That's some good shit, man. Her dad is a judge, 1027 00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:35,444 dude. What? 1028 00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:37,602 This one, her dad's a judge. 1029 00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:41,845 A judge? Who do you think you are, Lolita? 1030 00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:47,201 I mean, you lured me in, you sought me out 1031 00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:50,364 and then you lie to me? What's that about? 1032 00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:53,367 Oh, that's good. 1033 00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:56,728 I think I just wrote a song. Whoa. 1034 00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:58,769 To the van. All right. 1035 00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:04,121 That was cool. Bye. Love your music. 1036 00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:07,121 There's a gate right there. I don't know why you-- 1037 00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:08,964 All right. 1038 00:59:09,640 --> 00:59:13,122 Hey, hey, hey. Girls, I'm not done. These guys are 10 years older than you. 1039 00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:15,641 What are you doing? Oh, my God. 1040 00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:18,810 Willy, do you live here? Are you homeless? 1041 00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:23,602 Yes, I'm a homeless American. Stop it. I shouldn't be seeing you guys like this. 1042 00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:26,809 Brandy, what are you thinking? 1043 00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,241 What would've happened tonight if I wasn't here? 1044 00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:32,006 Um... I think I would've swallowed. 1045 00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:33,327 [BOTH LAUGH] 1046 00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:37,007 BRANDY: I'm serious. I just got that, and that's not funny. 1047 00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,010 It's not funny at all, okay? BRANDY: Come on, Willy. 1048 00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:42,646 Let's see how funny it is when I call your folks. 1049 00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:44,484 No. WILLY: Okay? Hey. hey. 1050 00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:48,401 You guys should be at home in bed, in flannel pajamas, 1051 00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:51,331 not floundering around in your underwear-- 1052 00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:53,682 I don't know your number. I don't know who I called. 1053 01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:07,208 BRANDY: What a night. CAMERON: You can say that again. 1054 01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:11,770 What are you doing here? We had a date. 1055 01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:16,082 Or were you so busy with your stupid scam list that you forgot all about it? 1056 01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:19,201 Cameron, that's private. Give that back to me. 1057 01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:23,282 Cameron. That's private. Give it back. 1058 01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:28,048 You cheat on me? No. Cheat? We're not even together. 1059 01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:30,806 We're not together because I'm breaking up with you. 1060 01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:33,406 You can't break up with me, we were never going out. 1061 01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:38,168 Brandy, you gave me a hand job. Doesn't that mean anything to you? 1062 01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:39,681 No, it's a hand job. 1063 01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:41,842 [SIGHING] 1064 01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:47,409 I told you that I love you. You meant that? 1065 01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:54,610 [VOICE BREAKING] Brandy, how could you do this to me? 1066 01:00:54,760 --> 01:00:58,560 I work with you, I study with you, I fingered you. 1067 01:00:58,720 --> 01:01:02,327 At any point you could've told me that you were just using me. 1068 01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:05,768 I wonder if I'll ever be able to enjoy a hand job again. 1069 01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:09,367 Cameron, don't say that. 1070 01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:12,605 I'm probably gonna have erectile dysfunction. 1071 01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:14,808 Camster. 1072 01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:18,726 It was just a misunderstanding. Don't touch me. 1073 01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:20,370 [♪♪] 1074 01:01:21,080 --> 01:01:22,889 I hope you get AIDS. 1075 01:01:23,040 --> 01:01:24,041 [SCOFFS] 1076 01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:26,083 Cameron! 1077 01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:28,762 [SOBBING] 1078 01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:37,771 Welcome to Big Bun. Can I take your order? 1079 01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:40,084 Cameron wants me to die of AIDS. 1080 01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:43,448 And can I get a milkshake? 1081 01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:44,647 [CAR HORN HONKING] 1082 01:01:44,840 --> 01:01:47,525 Come on, we're waiting here. Shit. All right, man. 1083 01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:51,247 I cannot believe he is letting a hand job come between our friendship. 1084 01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:53,482 He should be happy that you jerked him off. 1085 01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:56,041 Especially with his condition. Yeah. 1086 01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:59,249 I didn't know he "like" liked me. How am I supposed to know? 1087 01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:01,488 I'm not a mind reader. I'm not a gypsy. 1088 01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:05,122 Do you, like, "like" like him back? I don't know. 1089 01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:09,331 It's Cameron. I don't think about him like that. 1090 01:02:10,240 --> 01:02:12,322 But, you guys, he was... 1091 01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:15,169 crying. 1092 01:02:15,600 --> 01:02:19,002 I think I really hurt him. Dude, he's just being a little baby. 1093 01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:21,731 Guys mess around and girls just have to put up with it? 1094 01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:23,490 Yeah. It's bullshit. 1095 01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:25,483 When I sprained my ankle in gym class, 1096 01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:28,086 Duffy square danced with, like, three other girls. 1097 01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:30,083 He did not. WENDY: I had to sit and watch. 1098 01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:34,006 Oh, my God. You broke up three years ago. Get over it. 1099 01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:36,162 It still hurts, Fiona. 1100 01:02:36,360 --> 01:02:40,649 It's like Gloria Steinem says, "You're either the virgin or the whore." 1101 01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:41,847 FIONA: Well, you know what? 1102 01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:45,322 One of those sounds a lot funner than the other one. 1103 01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:47,369 Yeah. The whore. 1104 01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:50,205 Maybe this whole scam-list thing was a stupid idea. 1105 01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:53,762 No, you can't give up now. You worked too hard to get to this point. 1106 01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:56,810 You can't back out now. Think about all you've accomplished. 1107 01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:59,002 You've gotten more action this last month 1108 01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:01,970 than your entire high school career. That's true. 1109 01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:04,044 You're right. 1110 01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:05,247 [♪♪] 1111 01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:07,243 [SIGHS] 1112 01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:09,880 I deserve to get fucked by Rusty. 1113 01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:11,883 She made a scam list? 1114 01:03:12,280 --> 01:03:13,327 [SNIFFLING] 1115 01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:17,041 A list of sexual experiments to do with guys. 1116 01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:19,205 She used me, man. 1117 01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:23,490 Like she could just jerk me off without ever even committing. 1118 01:03:24,440 --> 01:03:28,206 That is terrible. Any old guy? Yup. 1119 01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:30,522 Oh, he's such a dick, he's such a dick. 1120 01:03:30,680 --> 01:03:32,728 No, he's not a dick, Duffy. He is. 1121 01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:36,851 No, he's like one of my best friends. I know. Me too. 1122 01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:39,008 You have to believe me, I didn't mean to hurt him. 1123 01:03:39,160 --> 01:03:41,640 I know you didn't. Why would I do that on purpose? 1124 01:03:41,800 --> 01:03:44,929 You would never. You're an angel. He told me he wanted me to die. 1125 01:03:45,080 --> 01:03:47,162 He's a meanie. He's a dick. He's not a dick. 1126 01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:50,164 But don't worry, Duffy's here to make it all better. 1127 01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:51,560 [ED GRAVES' "PEARL NECKLACE" PLAYING SOFTLY OVER SPEAKERS] 1128 01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:55,082 Why are you referring to yourself in the third person? 1129 01:03:56,280 --> 01:03:59,602 Oh-- Duffy. Duffy, stop. 1130 01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:02,764 What? I just invited you over to make you feel better. 1131 01:04:03,520 --> 01:04:05,170 What's on your neck? 1132 01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:09,927 Nothing. Just a little hickey that 1133 01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:13,402 Kitty Randall gave to me when we dry humped the other night. 1134 01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:15,528 What's dry hump? Ahem. 1135 01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:20,447 It's actually kind of complicated. I'd have to show you. 1136 01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:26,610 Okay. You can show me. You're just gonna let me hump you? 1137 01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:27,801 Yes. 1138 01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:30,122 [BRANDY & DUFFY PANTING] 1139 01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:32,282 [DUFFY MOANS] 1140 01:04:32,920 --> 01:04:35,287 DUFFY: It's all right. It's all right. 1141 01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:37,562 My mother's cats. Mother's cats. 1142 01:04:37,720 --> 01:04:40,963 I'm sorry. I'm still hard. Let's keep going. Oh, yeah. 1143 01:04:41,520 --> 01:04:43,284 DUFFY: You've never done this before? No. 1144 01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,130 Feels so good. Yes. 1145 01:04:47,520 --> 01:04:49,204 Shut the fuck up. 1146 01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:50,401 No way, dude. 1147 01:04:50,560 --> 01:04:53,564 We dry humped last night all over my room. 1148 01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:57,327 She's writing a sex manual or something. Sex manual? 1149 01:04:57,760 --> 01:04:59,524 All right. Uh-huh. 1150 01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:01,491 Thank you. 1151 01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:08,722 Uh, hey, you got plans tonight? 1152 01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:10,922 Um... 1153 01:05:12,160 --> 01:05:16,688 [LOUDLY] I don't know, Derrick. Do we have plans tonight? 1154 01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:19,321 Uh... 1155 01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:22,804 Sure. Ha-ha-ha. 1156 01:05:23,560 --> 01:05:25,767 You're so funny. Ha-ha-ha. 1157 01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,601 Walk me to my bike. 1158 01:05:29,760 --> 01:05:31,842 I did not say anything. 1159 01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:37,801 Hey, where you going? I need some air. 1160 01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:39,962 But it's an outdoor pool. 1161 01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:43,449 I need air. 1162 01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:46,691 [COLLEEN GRACE ROURKE'S "GLASS BOTTLE" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 1163 01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:48,689 Welcome to Big Bun. May I help you? 1164 01:05:48,880 --> 01:05:51,087 Double order of fish sticks, a large RC Cola 1165 01:05:51,240 --> 01:05:53,971 and would either of you like to go out on a date? 1166 01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:02,368 I will. Whoa. Sisters before misters. 1167 01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:06,047 Oh. What? Come on, give me a break. Brandy doesn't own Cameron, okay? 1168 01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:09,409 And she said herself that she doesn't, like, "like" like him. 1169 01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:11,170 So it's an open playing field. 1170 01:06:11,960 --> 01:06:14,440 I've never been with someone who wasn't circumcised, 1171 01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:17,046 and I wanna see if it's as gross as she says. 1172 01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:18,890 CAMERON: I can hear you. 1173 01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:23,043 ♪ Can he move, whoa ♪ 1174 01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:26,647 Hello? Hello? 1175 01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:32,171 Fiona, I can see you right now. ls every woman in this world--? Aah! 1176 01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:35,411 You know what? Forget it. Forget it. 1177 01:06:35,640 --> 01:06:37,563 Stupid car won't work. 1178 01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:39,250 [CELINA GRAVES' "RAYON SUMMER" PLAYING] 1179 01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:44,531 ♪ It's a hot rayon summer Too hot for school ♪ 1180 01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:47,001 Let me get this straight, 1181 01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:49,481 you wanna go down on me? 1182 01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:54,886 Yeah, because I just got dumped because I suck dick at eating pussy. 1183 01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:57,281 I just thought that if I practice, 1184 01:06:57,440 --> 01:07:00,125 then I could keep it from happening again. 1185 01:07:00,280 --> 01:07:02,760 It's a lot harder than you think. I don't know. 1186 01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:04,729 You know what? Forget this. Forget it. it's-- 1187 01:07:04,880 --> 01:07:06,291 Shh. 1188 01:07:06,960 --> 01:07:08,405 You had me at "eating pussy." 1189 01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:12,888 You had me at "eating pussy." 1190 01:07:13,560 --> 01:07:14,800 [♪♪] 1191 01:07:14,960 --> 01:07:17,088 Uh-huh. DERRICK: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 1192 01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:20,084 Right. Okay. 1193 01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:21,281 Up a smidge. 1194 01:07:21,440 --> 01:07:23,363 [DERRICK SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1195 01:07:23,560 --> 01:07:25,722 Okay, down a tad. 1196 01:07:25,880 --> 01:07:28,121 Yeah. Okay. Yeah, right there. 1197 01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:30,487 BOY: It's not working. Yeah, it's working. 1198 01:07:30,680 --> 01:07:33,411 BOY: No, it's not. Yeah, it's really working. 1199 01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:36,882 BOY: No, it's not. My video won't play, Derrick. 1200 01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:38,811 DERRICK: Was that good? 1201 01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:41,166 Oh. Ow. Mm. 1202 01:07:41,320 --> 01:07:43,800 Is the TV on channel three? Yes. 1203 01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:47,442 Well, make sure it's set to VCR, man. Okay. 1204 01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:52,324 What you doing? DERRICK: Looking for my keys. 1205 01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:54,847 You need some help? I mean, I can always help. 1206 01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,480 No. I know, buddy, I know. Just get out. 1207 01:07:57,640 --> 01:07:59,244 All right, GUYS- 1208 01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:01,691 [DOOR CLOSES] 1209 01:08:02,480 --> 01:08:05,450 I thought we were alone. Who, Benji? 1210 01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:09,970 He doesn't count. He believes in monsters and shit. 1211 01:08:10,120 --> 01:08:12,771 He's not a person. Okay, fine. 1212 01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:35,444 [LINE RINGING] 1213 01:08:36,720 --> 01:08:39,530 MR. MITCHELL: Mitchell residence. Hello, Mr. Mitchell, it's Brandy. 1214 01:08:39,680 --> 01:08:41,011 Is Cameron there? 1215 01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:44,130 Yeah, I'm sorry, he's in his room with the door locked, 1216 01:08:44,280 --> 01:08:47,807 and he's listening to Sarah McLachlan. 1217 01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:51,328 That bad, huh? Yeah. I would tell him you called 1218 01:08:51,520 --> 01:08:54,569 but we 're not saying your name around here. 1219 01:08:54,720 --> 01:08:57,644 Got it. Thanks anyways. 1220 01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:01,566 WENDY: It's a three-day rental, so we can watch it again tomorrow if you want. 1221 01:09:01,760 --> 01:09:03,808 FIONA: I'm glad you talked me into this. Whoo! 1222 01:09:03,960 --> 01:09:06,566 So excited for Beaches. Me too. 1223 01:09:06,760 --> 01:09:10,048 Guys, I brought Kleenex and stuff, just in case we get emotional. 1224 01:09:10,200 --> 01:09:14,171 Yes, Wendy, we know. What's after "titty fucked," cunni-what? 1225 01:09:14,320 --> 01:09:15,810 Cunnilingus. What is that? 1226 01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:19,243 It's when a man stimulates the female genitals with his mouth. 1227 01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:21,641 No shit. So Derrick ate you out? 1228 01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:25,765 Yeah. I prefer "cunnilingus," though. "Eat out" reminds me of fast food. 1229 01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:28,730 Wow. Look at you. That's a step away from sex. 1230 01:09:28,880 --> 01:09:30,370 Yeah, I know. We should celebrate 1231 01:09:30,560 --> 01:09:33,609 by watching Beaches. So, urn... 1232 01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:36,843 now that you're like hooking up with all these different guys, 1233 01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:39,685 is it cool if I go out with Cameron? 1234 01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:44,442 What? Cameron asked you out? He asked me out too, 1235 01:09:44,600 --> 01:09:47,126 but I said no because you're my best friend, 1236 01:09:47,280 --> 01:09:49,886 and best friends don't let boys get between them. 1237 01:09:50,640 --> 01:09:53,291 Speaking of that, it's time for Beaches. 1238 01:09:53,440 --> 01:09:56,284 Yeah, Beaches. WENDY: Yeah. 1239 01:09:56,440 --> 01:09:57,441 BRANDY: Are you pressing the right button? 1240 01:09:57,600 --> 01:09:58,601 WENDY: I think so. 1241 01:09:58,760 --> 01:10:01,809 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you dry hump Duffy? 1242 01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:04,489 What? Yeah. 1243 01:10:04,640 --> 01:10:08,281 What? He gave me two hickeys. One and one. 1244 01:10:08,440 --> 01:10:10,807 Brandy. Ow. 1245 01:10:10,960 --> 01:10:13,247 You know I, like, "like" like Duffy. Yeah. 1246 01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:16,483 So? It's not like you're going out with him. So? What is wrong with you? 1247 01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:20,804 Why are you spazzing out? Because it's ho's before bros, man. 1248 01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:22,200 You don't just go around 1249 01:10:22,400 --> 01:10:24,482 hooking up with whoever. Pbbt! Whomever. 1250 01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:27,166 You're going out with Cameron, so don't be a hypocrite. 1251 01:10:27,320 --> 01:10:30,164 Yeah, but I asked you first. That's the difference. 1252 01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:34,882 I cannot believe that you would choose a boy over our friendship. 1253 01:10:35,080 --> 01:10:38,004 You don't deserve to watch Beaches. FIONA: No, she doesn't. 1254 01:10:38,160 --> 01:10:39,321 [TAPE CLATTERING] 1255 01:10:39,480 --> 01:10:42,404 Don't say that. Let's go. Let's watch it at your place. 1256 01:10:42,560 --> 01:10:44,961 You guys. It's stuck, Wendy. 1257 01:10:45,120 --> 01:10:48,010 Yeah, thanks, I can see that. Take it. Let's go. 1258 01:10:48,160 --> 01:10:50,242 Don't take my VCR. FIONA: Come on. 1259 01:10:50,880 --> 01:10:53,963 BRANDY: Wait. Come back. You better hope that tape isn't ruined. 1260 01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:56,168 Fiona, come on, don't be-- No, I'm sorry, 1261 01:10:56,320 --> 01:11:00,006 I don't understand you because I don't speak slut. 1262 01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:02,523 [SCOFFS] 1263 01:11:02,760 --> 01:11:04,683 [♪♪] 1264 01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:08,367 BRANDY: Willy, what happened? WILLY: Same shit every summer. 1265 01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:12,161 Oak Crest Country Club pulls some stupid prank on us. 1266 01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:16,046 It's an initiation for their new lifeguards. BRANDY: I can't believe they did that. 1267 01:11:16,200 --> 01:11:18,521 You were here all night and you didn't hear them? 1268 01:11:18,680 --> 01:11:20,364 No. 1269 01:11:20,520 --> 01:11:24,320 God, man, Oak Crest, those guys are good. 1270 01:11:24,920 --> 01:11:28,686 Yeah. Yeah, that's a big kick in the nuts. 1271 01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:31,730 I'll have Rusty and Derrick put it back up when they get here. 1272 01:11:31,880 --> 01:11:35,202 What? No, Willy, we need to get them back. 1273 01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:42,009 Yeah, we need to get revenge. I mean, real revenge. 1274 01:11:42,680 --> 01:11:45,684 You mean, like--? Like kill them? What? 1275 01:11:45,840 --> 01:11:48,081 I think that's illegal. I know a guy with a gun-- 1276 01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:50,681 No, I mean like we need to get them where it hurts. 1277 01:11:51,720 --> 01:11:54,291 Come on, you're our boss, our leader. 1278 01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:58,007 This is your pool. If not you, then who? 1279 01:11:58,160 --> 01:11:59,525 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1280 01:11:59,680 --> 01:12:02,411 Let's take a big fucking dump on Oak Crest. 1281 01:12:02,560 --> 01:12:04,244 Let's get those fuckers. 1282 01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:07,244 Hey, Bernadette. What's the plan? 1283 01:12:07,400 --> 01:12:08,811 [♪♪] 1284 01:12:08,960 --> 01:12:12,760 WILLY: We're gonna blow this shit up. We're gonna burn it to the ground. 1285 01:12:12,920 --> 01:12:14,410 Rock. I see it, boss. 1286 01:12:14,600 --> 01:12:15,601 [LADDER CLANGING] 1287 01:12:15,760 --> 01:12:16,841 Shh. It's a fucking ladder, 1288 01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:18,047 it's gonna make noise. 1289 01:12:18,200 --> 01:12:20,726 GO, go! 1290 01:12:27,280 --> 01:12:30,727 Holy shit. That is a fucking slide. 1291 01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:34,291 All right, Cameron. All right. 1292 01:12:34,600 --> 01:12:35,601 [GRUNTS] 1293 01:12:35,760 --> 01:12:37,444 Nice. 1294 01:12:37,600 --> 01:12:41,446 BRANDY: Approaching perimeter. Cameron, what's your status? Over. 1295 01:12:41,600 --> 01:12:45,446 He's not talking to you right now. Over. Shit, this thing's hot. 1296 01:12:45,600 --> 01:12:49,446 You can't let personal issues get in the way of work. Act professional. Over. 1297 01:12:49,600 --> 01:12:53,810 You can't see him, but he's flipping you off right now. Over. 1298 01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:56,446 Whatever. Just get into position. Over. 1299 01:12:56,640 --> 01:13:01,043 It's fucking scary in here, man. What are you looking for? 1300 01:13:01,200 --> 01:13:02,964 Just some sort of knob. 1301 01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:06,283 Why do they have all these things in their pool? What does it do? 1302 01:13:06,480 --> 01:13:08,960 We don't have any of these. How do you not know this? 1303 01:13:09,320 --> 01:13:10,924 Come on. 1304 01:13:11,360 --> 01:13:12,771 [SIGHS] 1305 01:13:12,920 --> 01:13:14,763 Shit, there it is. 1306 01:13:15,480 --> 01:13:17,528 WILLY: All right, we found it. Over. 1307 01:13:26,440 --> 01:13:29,444 On my count, guys. In one, 1308 01:13:30,040 --> 01:13:32,168 Ugh. two, three. 1309 01:13:32,320 --> 01:13:34,846 Oh, yeah. Spin that bitch. 1310 01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:44,681 That good? How's that? 1311 01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:48,686 BRANDY: Guys, you have to see this. Come on out here. Even you, Cameron. Over. 1312 01:13:48,840 --> 01:13:50,171 Screw you, Brandy. 1313 01:13:53,800 --> 01:13:56,201 Shit, newbie, you are as smart as you think you are. 1314 01:13:56,360 --> 01:13:58,328 This is gonna be some serious payback. 1315 01:14:01,720 --> 01:14:04,246 What? Nothing. 1316 01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:11,642 We doing this? What? 1317 01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:16,725 Come on. Yeah. 1318 01:14:16,880 --> 01:14:18,041 Yeah, let's do this. 1319 01:14:19,880 --> 01:14:21,803 I'll just take my clothes off too. 1320 01:14:26,480 --> 01:14:27,686 Take your time. 1321 01:14:27,840 --> 01:14:30,286 Why don't you talk to her, instead of being a grumpy gus? 1322 01:14:30,480 --> 01:14:32,721 I am not a grumpy gus. Yes, you are. 1323 01:14:32,880 --> 01:14:34,723 No, I'm not. You wanna hear a riddle? 1324 01:14:34,880 --> 01:14:37,406 Why did Eddie Vedder cross the road? Why? 1325 01:14:37,560 --> 01:14:40,643 [IMITATING EDDIE VEDDER] To get to the other side. Hey, hey, hey! 1326 01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:41,881 Jeremy spoke! 1327 01:14:42,080 --> 01:14:43,206 Who's that supposed to be? 1328 01:14:43,360 --> 01:14:44,885 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Who's that? That's Eddie Vedder. 1329 01:14:45,080 --> 01:14:47,242 That's not the face Vedder makes. Have you seen the "Jeremy" video? 1330 01:14:47,480 --> 01:14:49,528 I've seen the "Jeremy" video, that's not the face he makes. 1331 01:14:49,680 --> 01:14:52,570 That is the face he makes. I get why Brandy wants nothing to do with you. 1332 01:14:52,720 --> 01:14:55,326 Fuck you, man. Bitch. 1333 01:14:56,320 --> 01:14:59,164 One, two, three. 1334 01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:00,401 [BOTH WHOOPING] 1335 01:15:00,600 --> 01:15:02,682 [HOUSE OF LOVE'S "I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU" PLAYING] 1336 01:15:02,840 --> 01:15:04,251 [RUSTY LAUGHING] 1337 01:15:09,680 --> 01:15:13,162 Oh, not again. What is this? 1338 01:15:13,760 --> 01:15:17,765 This thing is like a life preserver. Jerk. Give it back. 1339 01:15:17,920 --> 01:15:21,561 You want it? Too bad. I like you better without it. 1340 01:15:21,720 --> 01:15:24,610 I cannot believe you just did that. 1341 01:15:24,760 --> 01:15:30,767 ♪ Don't know why I love you I don't know why I care ♪ 1342 01:15:30,960 --> 01:15:35,045 Excuse me. Better ask permission next time. 1343 01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:36,761 Next time? 1344 01:15:37,000 --> 01:15:40,083 ♪ But I don't know why I love you ♪ 1345 01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:44,962 [GRUNTING] 1346 01:15:45,120 --> 01:15:47,885 Fuck you, Oak Crest. Ha-ha-ha. 1347 01:15:49,280 --> 01:15:50,645 ♪ How can I get close to you ♪ 1348 01:15:50,800 --> 01:15:54,327 [CHEERING AND WHOOPING] 1349 01:15:54,480 --> 01:15:56,642 ♪ When you got no mercy No, you got no ♪ 1350 01:15:56,800 --> 01:15:58,086 WILLY: Busted. 1351 01:15:58,520 --> 01:16:01,490 I'm gonna take a shit in their fucking pool, man. 1352 01:16:01,920 --> 01:16:03,160 ♪ I don't know why I love you ♪ 1353 01:16:03,320 --> 01:16:04,446 [♪♪] 1354 01:16:10,320 --> 01:16:13,403 What happened here? 1355 01:16:16,320 --> 01:16:17,765 Um... 1356 01:16:21,000 --> 01:16:22,047 Oh... 1357 01:16:22,200 --> 01:16:25,841 You're gonna look me in the eye and deny all of this, huh? 1358 01:16:29,080 --> 01:16:30,491 That doesn't prove anything. 1359 01:16:36,640 --> 01:16:39,530 You wrote your name in this? Who does that? 1360 01:16:39,680 --> 01:16:41,682 I'm sorry. I'm going to college. 1361 01:16:41,840 --> 01:16:44,320 You're supposed to write your name on everything in case it gets lost. 1362 01:16:44,480 --> 01:16:48,530 Look, your little prank ruined our filtration system. 1363 01:16:48,680 --> 01:16:51,445 Not our problem. Well, it's gonna be your problem 1364 01:16:51,600 --> 01:16:54,683 when I report you to the Parks Department. 1365 01:16:54,880 --> 01:16:57,486 Hey, friend? Hey, buddy, don't do that, okay? Please. 1366 01:16:57,640 --> 01:17:01,361 Look, the only way I won't call them 1367 01:17:01,520 --> 01:17:05,127 is if you send a handwritten apology note, 1368 01:17:05,280 --> 01:17:07,567 you promise these pranks stop today, 1369 01:17:07,880 --> 01:17:09,882 and you fire old double-D here. 1370 01:17:10,520 --> 01:17:12,682 No one's getting fired. Brandy, you're fired. 1371 01:17:12,840 --> 01:17:15,571 I'm gonna have to go to Office Max for the other stuff. 1372 01:17:15,720 --> 01:17:21,329 Are you kidding me, Willy? I'm your best employee. I taught you how to swim. 1373 01:17:21,480 --> 01:17:23,801 What? I'm sorry, I can't lose my job. 1374 01:17:23,960 --> 01:17:25,246 This is unbelievable. 1375 01:17:25,400 --> 01:17:26,561 [GIN BLOSSOMS' "29" PLAYING] 1376 01:17:26,720 --> 01:17:31,044 All summer everyone's been telling me to loosen up and relax 1377 01:17:31,200 --> 01:17:33,771 and not think so much and... 1378 01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:35,724 Well, fuck that. 1379 01:17:36,560 --> 01:17:38,244 And fuck you too. 1380 01:17:40,240 --> 01:17:41,571 [DOOR CLOSES] 1381 01:17:42,440 --> 01:17:44,249 Want a beer? No. 1382 01:17:44,560 --> 01:17:48,963 ♪ Time won't stand by forever ♪ 1383 01:17:49,120 --> 01:17:52,044 ♪ If I know it's true ♪ 1384 01:17:53,200 --> 01:17:57,683 ♪ And I've learned not to say never ♪ 1385 01:17:57,840 --> 01:18:00,810 ♪ Else I'll seem the fool ♪ 1386 01:18:02,040 --> 01:18:06,409 ♪ At 29 you'd think I'd know better ♪ 1387 01:18:06,560 --> 01:18:09,450 ♪ Living like a kid ♪ 1388 01:18:12,040 --> 01:18:14,611 Oh, come on, don't look at me like that. 1389 01:18:15,280 --> 01:18:16,691 ♪ Is when I fall for it ♪ 1390 01:18:16,840 --> 01:18:18,968 MRS. KLARK: Honey, can I speak with you? 1391 01:18:19,120 --> 01:18:20,451 ♪ Only time will tell ♪ 1392 01:18:20,600 --> 01:18:25,288 This whole thing has been so painful. Mm. 1393 01:18:25,520 --> 01:18:28,763 Cameron was crying afterwards. 1394 01:18:28,920 --> 01:18:31,321 They always do. 1395 01:18:31,480 --> 01:18:35,121 You know, boys are just really more sensitive than they let on. 1396 01:18:35,280 --> 01:18:37,442 Your father included. Hm. 1397 01:18:38,080 --> 01:18:40,367 Which reminds me, don't say anything 1398 01:18:40,520 --> 01:18:44,525 but I have planned a pretty sexy surprise for us for our anniversary. 1399 01:18:44,680 --> 01:18:46,728 Mom, I don't wanna hear about you and Dad-- 1400 01:18:46,880 --> 01:18:49,281 Having intercourse? Noted. 1401 01:18:50,320 --> 01:18:53,642 Honey, listen, as you move forward 1402 01:18:54,520 --> 01:18:58,411 on your sexual journey, just promise me one thing. 1403 01:18:59,080 --> 01:19:02,607 To have fun? To use lube. 1404 01:19:04,160 --> 01:19:06,447 Doesn't always have to be painful. 1405 01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:11,243 I wish my mother had given me lube when I was your age. 1406 01:19:11,400 --> 01:19:13,402 [♪♪] 1407 01:19:14,760 --> 01:19:18,685 Where exactly do I--? In the vagina, sweetie. 1408 01:19:18,960 --> 01:19:20,689 Thanks, Mom. 1409 01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:23,411 [PHONE RINGING] 1410 01:19:23,560 --> 01:19:25,050 I got it. 1411 01:19:26,800 --> 01:19:27,847 Boise Pool. 1412 01:19:28,200 --> 01:19:30,521 Rusty Waters, please. DERRICK: Brandy? 1413 01:19:30,760 --> 01:19:32,285 Yes. Rusty, please. 1414 01:19:33,360 --> 01:19:37,365 Uh, Rusty, it's Brandy. She wants to talk to you. 1415 01:19:38,760 --> 01:19:42,048 Hey, newbie. Heard you got fired. That sucks. 1416 01:19:42,520 --> 01:19:46,525 Yeah, I know. It'll be tough explaining the employment gap in my resume 1417 01:19:46,800 --> 01:19:51,362 but anyway, would you like to go out with me? 1418 01:19:52,040 --> 01:19:53,485 Uh... 1419 01:19:54,200 --> 01:19:58,046 Why not? I'll pick you up after work. 1420 01:19:58,200 --> 01:20:00,089 Cool. Cool. 1421 01:20:00,240 --> 01:20:01,890 Very cool. 1422 01:20:03,400 --> 01:20:04,845 AMBER: What'd he say? 1423 01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:09,241 Yes. He did? 1424 01:20:09,400 --> 01:20:13,121 Yes! He said yes. Technically, he said "why not." 1425 01:20:13,280 --> 01:20:14,850 But who cares about semantics. 1426 01:20:15,000 --> 01:20:19,562 Because Rusty Waters said yes to me, Brandy Klark, and we're gonna-- 1427 01:20:19,720 --> 01:20:21,802 Brandy, are you trying to do the Roger Rabbit? 1428 01:20:22,000 --> 01:20:24,571 Yeah. That's not the Roger Rabbit. 1429 01:20:24,840 --> 01:20:26,649 This is the Roger Rabbit. 1430 01:20:30,560 --> 01:20:33,404 Maybe the Running Man would be easier for you. 1431 01:20:33,560 --> 01:20:34,641 Shit. 1432 01:20:36,640 --> 01:20:40,247 So you're taking Brandy out, huh? I guess so. 1433 01:20:40,400 --> 01:20:43,051 Awesome. Good for her. Still working on that sex manual. 1434 01:20:43,560 --> 01:20:46,769 Yeah-- What? Sex manual? Oh, you didn't know? 1435 01:20:47,840 --> 01:20:49,251 Dude, check this out. 1436 01:20:49,400 --> 01:20:52,449 She's writing some sort of sex encyclopedia or something like that. 1437 01:20:52,600 --> 01:20:55,843 It's like she can do whatever and it's research. It's awesome. 1438 01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:59,846 She wants to have, like, a good orgasm, and, like, it's such a mature quest. 1439 01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:03,280 Did you know about this? No. 1440 01:21:03,440 --> 01:21:05,761 You learn something new at the pool every day. Ha, ha. 1441 01:21:06,080 --> 01:21:07,411 Wow. 1442 01:21:08,080 --> 01:21:10,242 I look-- Good enough to fuck. 1443 01:21:10,400 --> 01:21:12,607 [SHAYNE BLUE'S "GOOD THING" PLAYING] 1444 01:21:12,800 --> 01:21:14,723 I wasn't gonna put it that way, but... 1445 01:21:14,960 --> 01:21:16,450 [SIGHS] 1446 01:21:18,000 --> 01:21:20,606 Does it hurt the first time? Not if you chug a beer 1447 01:21:20,760 --> 01:21:22,285 and use the lube Morn gave you. 1448 01:21:22,480 --> 01:21:26,371 She gave you the lube, right? Yes. That was weird. 1449 01:21:27,480 --> 01:21:29,482 But helpful. 1450 01:21:30,880 --> 01:21:34,566 Hey, are you okay? I noticed you stopped eating your SnackWells. 1451 01:21:34,720 --> 01:21:37,769 Chippy cheated on me. With strippers. 1452 01:21:37,920 --> 01:21:39,445 [SIGHS] 1453 01:21:39,600 --> 01:21:42,888 You gonna call off the wedding? I want to, but he won't call me back. 1454 01:21:43,080 --> 01:21:45,401 Word of advice, don't fall in love. 1455 01:21:45,560 --> 01:21:47,483 Getting your heart broken fucking sucks. 1456 01:21:47,640 --> 01:21:49,927 Yes, so I've heard. 1457 01:21:50,680 --> 01:21:53,331 Okay. Hey, have fun popping your cherry. 1458 01:21:54,320 --> 01:21:55,890 I Will. 1459 01:21:56,200 --> 01:21:58,328 And I want you to know that... 1460 01:21:59,040 --> 01:22:01,964 I wouldn't be having sex tonight if it weren't for you. 1461 01:22:02,120 --> 01:22:04,327 Really? Really. 1462 01:22:05,240 --> 01:22:07,129 Thanks, Brandy, I really needed that. 1463 01:22:09,520 --> 01:22:12,569 What's it gonna feel like? I'll figure it out. 1464 01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:14,165 Enjoy your penis. 1465 01:22:14,360 --> 01:22:16,362 [TONY BUNCE'S "PURPLE SKY" PLAYING] 1466 01:22:30,920 --> 01:22:32,570 Here you go. 1467 01:22:33,520 --> 01:22:34,885 [GRUNTS] 1468 01:22:35,040 --> 01:22:39,921 ♪ Lost in the lives they left behind ♪ 1469 01:22:40,400 --> 01:22:44,291 ♪ The daydreamer, the only one ♪ 1470 01:22:44,480 --> 01:22:47,962 ♪ The only one can keep it alive ♪ 1471 01:22:49,360 --> 01:22:51,727 You, uh, want another one? 1472 01:22:51,960 --> 01:22:54,770 No, thank you. One is my limit. 1473 01:22:57,960 --> 01:23:00,008 Hey, look, there's, um... 1474 01:23:00,760 --> 01:23:03,240 There's something I really wanna ask you. 1475 01:23:03,400 --> 01:23:05,084 Shoot. 1476 01:23:05,560 --> 01:23:07,642 Can I kiss you? 1477 01:23:09,000 --> 01:23:14,006 I know you can kiss me, but may you kiss me? 1478 01:23:15,280 --> 01:23:16,645 Oh. 1479 01:23:18,320 --> 01:23:20,561 What? Forget it. You can definitely kiss me. 1480 01:23:20,760 --> 01:23:22,091 Cool. 1481 01:23:22,320 --> 01:23:27,008 ♪ Sitting all alone On the top of a mountain ♪ 1482 01:23:27,160 --> 01:23:29,731 [KNOCKING] 1483 01:23:30,720 --> 01:23:34,247 [DOORBELL RINGING AND CONTINUES KNOCKING] 1484 01:23:35,800 --> 01:23:37,689 AMBER: Shit, I'm coming, all right? 1485 01:23:39,120 --> 01:23:42,920 Oh. Hey, uh...? Hey, is Brandy here? No. 1486 01:23:43,680 --> 01:23:47,446 Um... I think she might be in some trouble and I need to talk to her. 1487 01:23:47,600 --> 01:23:49,284 Can I wait here? Is that cool? 1488 01:23:51,440 --> 01:23:53,283 You got a dick under that poncho? 1489 01:23:55,040 --> 01:23:56,280 Why? 1490 01:23:58,320 --> 01:24:00,322 [THE CRANBERRIES' "DREAMS" PLAYING] 1491 01:24:07,040 --> 01:24:09,281 Maybe we should get a condom. 1492 01:24:09,480 --> 01:24:12,689 Good idea. Last thing we need's a baby, right? 1493 01:24:12,840 --> 01:24:14,649 Or AIDS. 1494 01:24:23,440 --> 01:24:27,331 I need to tell you something. It's okay. 1495 01:24:27,480 --> 01:24:30,165 I know you're a virgin. I'll be gentle, okay? 1496 01:24:30,320 --> 01:24:34,006 No, not that. I mean, I am a virgin, but... 1497 01:24:35,480 --> 01:24:37,289 I wanna be on top. 1498 01:24:37,880 --> 01:24:40,486 It'll increase my chance of orgasm by 40 percent. 1499 01:24:41,400 --> 01:24:44,131 Those are some good odds. 1500 01:24:45,680 --> 01:24:52,245 ♪ And, oh, my dreams It's never quite as it seems ♪ 1501 01:24:53,040 --> 01:24:57,011 ♪ Never quite as it seems ♪ 1502 01:24:57,160 --> 01:24:59,481 You good? Yeah. 1503 01:24:59,640 --> 01:25:02,723 ♪ I know I've felt like this before ♪ 1504 01:25:02,880 --> 01:25:05,690 [RUSTY MOANING] 1505 01:25:07,840 --> 01:25:11,049 ♪ Because it came from you ♪ 1506 01:25:11,200 --> 01:25:13,202 [BOTH MOANING] 1507 01:25:14,520 --> 01:25:19,890 ♪ And then I open up and see The person falling here is me ♪ 1508 01:25:20,040 --> 01:25:23,442 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 1509 01:25:23,720 --> 01:25:28,726 Oh! Oh, boy. Oh, boy. 1510 01:25:29,680 --> 01:25:31,091 [SIGHING] 1511 01:25:31,920 --> 01:25:36,767 Did you just--? Yeah. Didn't you? 1512 01:25:36,920 --> 01:25:38,604 Have an orgasm? Yeah. 1513 01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:40,649 No. That was like less than a minute. 1514 01:25:41,720 --> 01:25:42,881 Shit. 1515 01:25:43,040 --> 01:25:46,283 [JAMES' "LAID" PLAYING] 1516 01:25:46,440 --> 01:25:48,488 [MAN GRUNTING] 1517 01:25:52,240 --> 01:25:53,321 [SHRIEKS] 1518 01:25:53,480 --> 01:25:55,209 ♪ This bed is on fire With passionate love ♪ 1519 01:25:55,360 --> 01:25:58,569 You've gotta be kidding me. Look, I usually last like way longer. 1520 01:25:58,720 --> 01:26:01,041 You just really got me, like, riled up, okay? 1521 01:26:01,200 --> 01:26:03,567 Just please take me home now. 1522 01:26:03,760 --> 01:26:07,481 Look, if you just wait like two minutes, like, he'll be ready to go again. 1523 01:26:07,800 --> 01:26:09,245 I think I just saw Brandy. 1524 01:26:09,600 --> 01:26:11,045 ♪ My therapist said ♪ 1525 01:26:11,200 --> 01:26:17,082 Oh, no. I'm certain that's not Brandy. Brandy's with Cameron and he drives a Ford Festiva. 1526 01:26:17,240 --> 01:26:19,049 Why are you certain she's with Cameron? 1527 01:26:19,200 --> 01:26:20,440 I gave her the lube and-- 1528 01:26:20,600 --> 01:26:24,241 You gave her the lube? You had your talk with her, didn't you? 1529 01:26:24,400 --> 01:26:26,607 Of course I did. If I waited for you to do it, 1530 01:26:26,760 --> 01:26:29,764 she would be 40 before she has her first orgasm. 1531 01:26:29,920 --> 01:26:32,605 This is really decent of you. It's cool of you to do this. 1532 01:26:32,760 --> 01:26:36,207 Stop talking to me. Okay. Sorry. 1533 01:26:37,400 --> 01:26:39,721 You're just doing me a real solid, that's all. 1534 01:26:39,920 --> 01:26:43,845 I might look like a rock star, but I'm really a pretty traditional type of guy. 1535 01:26:44,000 --> 01:26:46,480 You know, like a missionary type of guy. 1536 01:26:46,680 --> 01:26:49,206 Like a good old-fashioned me on top, you on bottom. 1537 01:26:49,360 --> 01:26:52,443 Not like this crazy-- You're super aggressive. I mean, come on. 1538 01:26:52,640 --> 01:26:55,405 Look, I'm a pretty sensitive dude, all right? 1539 01:26:55,600 --> 01:26:57,489 I'm a meat-and-potatoes type of guy. 1540 01:26:57,640 --> 01:26:59,210 You jerk! 1541 01:27:00,120 --> 01:27:02,851 Cameron? Jerk face. Ow! 1542 01:27:03,000 --> 01:27:06,800 Cameron, calm down. Please calm down. 1543 01:27:06,960 --> 01:27:10,248 No, I will not calm down. Did you make love with him? 1544 01:27:10,520 --> 01:27:14,286 Yeah, dude. We did it. Put the meat right in the taco. 1545 01:27:14,440 --> 01:27:16,283 Get off me. RUSTY: Oh, yeah. 1546 01:27:16,440 --> 01:27:18,010 I can't believe I was so stupid. 1547 01:27:19,160 --> 01:27:20,491 [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 1548 01:27:20,680 --> 01:27:25,891 I get it. It's not having sex that's a big deal, it's this. 1549 01:27:26,040 --> 01:27:29,089 All these feelings and emotional crap. 1550 01:27:29,240 --> 01:27:32,164 That's why it's better if you leave feelings and shit out of it. 1551 01:27:32,320 --> 01:27:35,369 Feelings are everything, Brandy. Ow! 1552 01:27:36,040 --> 01:27:39,328 Why don't you wait until you've done it once, virgin? 1553 01:27:39,520 --> 01:27:41,682 Then you'll see that sex isn't such a big deal. 1554 01:27:41,840 --> 01:27:44,650 How do you know I haven't had sex? RUSTY: Look at you. 1555 01:27:44,800 --> 01:27:47,326 Look at you! Hey, stop it. Stop it. 1556 01:27:47,480 --> 01:27:49,369 You're animals. And you are wrong. 1557 01:27:49,520 --> 01:27:51,522 CAMERON: Yeah, you're wrong. Feelings matter. 1558 01:27:51,680 --> 01:27:54,684 And having sex with the right person is a big deal. 1559 01:27:54,840 --> 01:27:55,841 [♪♪] 1560 01:27:56,040 --> 01:28:00,682 Cameron, come here. Look, I owe you an apology. 1561 01:28:01,200 --> 01:28:04,727 People talk about sex all the time like it's no big deal 1562 01:28:05,520 --> 01:28:10,560 but when you haven't done it, when you're a virgin, it is a big deal. 1563 01:28:11,080 --> 01:28:15,961 And I think the list was me trying not to mess up. 1564 01:28:17,520 --> 01:28:19,807 But I did mess up. 1565 01:28:19,960 --> 01:28:24,443 I messed up when I hurt you. And I'm really sorry. 1566 01:28:25,560 --> 01:28:29,360 Well, I still can't believe you chose Rusty over me. 1567 01:28:29,520 --> 01:28:31,887 Dude, I'm standing right here. Shut up, Rusty. 1568 01:28:32,040 --> 01:28:34,646 You wanna go, Growing Pains? You retarded Zack Morris. 1569 01:28:34,800 --> 01:28:37,371 CAMERON: Rusty, shut up. Both of you shut up. Both of you shut up. 1570 01:28:38,040 --> 01:28:39,565 Cameron... 1571 01:28:40,240 --> 01:28:44,962 you are super nice and cute 1572 01:28:45,120 --> 01:28:48,249 and kind and reliable. 1573 01:28:48,400 --> 01:28:51,768 You're the kind of guy a girl would love to be in a relationship with. 1574 01:28:51,920 --> 01:28:54,400 Will I regret messing that up? Probably yes. 1575 01:28:54,560 --> 01:28:58,770 No. No. I'm a teenager. 1576 01:28:58,920 --> 01:29:01,366 Teenagers don't have regrets. 1577 01:29:01,560 --> 01:29:03,005 That's for your 30s. 1578 01:29:04,320 --> 01:29:07,927 And, Rusty, Rusty, Rusty. 1579 01:29:08,080 --> 01:29:09,445 [SCOFFS] 1580 01:29:10,000 --> 01:29:13,209 You are superhot and ripped, 1581 01:29:13,560 --> 01:29:18,361 and you play the guitar and I can't believe I had sex with you. 1582 01:29:19,520 --> 01:29:21,602 Am I gonna regret losing my virginity to you? 1583 01:29:21,760 --> 01:29:23,489 Probably. Most girls do. 1584 01:29:23,640 --> 01:29:25,961 No. Definitely not. 1585 01:29:26,120 --> 01:29:30,284 You are gonna be an awesome story to tell my friends. 1586 01:29:30,840 --> 01:29:32,126 All right. 1587 01:29:32,360 --> 01:29:33,850 [SIGHS] 1588 01:29:34,960 --> 01:29:37,008 Speaking of which, 1589 01:29:37,160 --> 01:29:39,731 that is where I should be right now. 1590 01:29:39,880 --> 01:29:42,804 With my friends. Not here. 1591 01:29:42,960 --> 01:29:45,964 [TEARS FOR FEARS' "BREAK IT DOWN AGAIN" PLAYING] 1592 01:29:46,800 --> 01:29:48,165 ♪ Here we go ♪ 1593 01:29:48,400 --> 01:29:50,880 Carry on, men. 1594 01:29:51,040 --> 01:29:52,724 You're animals. 1595 01:29:52,880 --> 01:29:54,962 ♪ Break it down again ♪ 1596 01:29:57,000 --> 01:29:59,321 ♪ So those are my dreams ♪ 1597 01:29:59,480 --> 01:30:01,608 [CAR APPROACHING] 1598 01:30:01,800 --> 01:30:02,926 Oh, ship. 1599 01:30:03,880 --> 01:30:06,087 ♪ Headstrong like a horse ♪ 1600 01:30:06,240 --> 01:30:08,288 ♪ When it's all mixed up Better break it down ♪ 1601 01:30:08,440 --> 01:30:09,851 [BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1602 01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:12,287 Put a vibrator in her stocking, for God's sakes? 1603 01:30:12,440 --> 01:30:14,647 No, I was saving it for her birthday. 1604 01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:16,490 I'm coming, honey. Wait. 1605 01:30:16,680 --> 01:30:19,445 Just because you have lube, doesn't mean you have to use it. 1606 01:30:19,640 --> 01:30:26,000 Wait. Ow, ow. George. Ow. Wait. 1607 01:30:26,600 --> 01:30:27,647 [WILLY GRUNTING] 1608 01:30:27,800 --> 01:30:29,131 WILLY: I'm really-- I'm there. 1609 01:30:31,000 --> 01:30:33,128 JUDGE KLARK: Amber. Dad! 1610 01:30:33,320 --> 01:30:38,121 Dad? Hey. Hey, Mr. Klark. Hey, I'm Willy. 1611 01:30:38,600 --> 01:30:40,011 Judge. Judge, that's right. 1612 01:30:40,200 --> 01:30:42,282 Judge Klark. You're a fucking judge. 1613 01:30:42,440 --> 01:30:47,207 Hey, uh, look, I'm Brandy's boss at the pool and, uh... Um... 1614 01:30:47,440 --> 01:30:49,966 She's a great girl, by the way. And so is this one. 1615 01:30:50,120 --> 01:30:53,442 You've raised two amazing, amazing daughters. 1616 01:30:53,600 --> 01:30:55,887 I want you off my house and out of my daughter! 1617 01:30:56,040 --> 01:30:59,044 Dad, gross. You know what I mean. 1618 01:31:05,360 --> 01:31:07,727 Anything else I can do for you, sir? Right now! 1619 01:31:07,880 --> 01:31:10,531 I just did it. Amber. 1620 01:31:10,840 --> 01:31:12,729 Mom. That's not Chip. 1621 01:31:12,880 --> 01:31:16,009 No shit, Mom. Get the fuck out of my room! 1622 01:31:16,160 --> 01:31:20,051 No, leave it. Just leave it. Finish up, please. 1623 01:31:20,240 --> 01:31:22,846 I'm the one who won't live to see my daughter grow into a woman 1624 01:31:23,000 --> 01:31:25,002 who won't be able to protect her from the world. 1625 01:31:25,160 --> 01:31:29,927 And I hate it. I hate that she'd rather be with you, who has energy, who is fun. 1626 01:31:30,200 --> 01:31:31,850 You told me to play with her. 1627 01:31:32,000 --> 01:31:34,685 I know I did, but I didn't know it was gonna make me feel like this. 1628 01:31:34,880 --> 01:31:37,929 GIRL: ♪ It must have been cold there In my shadow ♪ 1629 01:31:38,080 --> 01:31:41,004 Okay, you know what? You can't handle this. I'm turning it off. 1630 01:31:41,240 --> 01:31:42,730 No, I can handle it. No, you can't. 1631 01:31:42,880 --> 01:31:45,247 Look at you, you're a mess. 1632 01:31:45,400 --> 01:31:47,687 ♪ On your face ♪ 1633 01:31:48,920 --> 01:31:52,367 ♪ You were content to let me shine ♪ 1634 01:31:52,520 --> 01:31:53,601 What the hell are you doing? 1635 01:31:53,760 --> 01:31:54,841 ♪ That's your way ♪ 1636 01:31:55,000 --> 01:31:56,604 I don't want her here. 1637 01:31:56,760 --> 01:31:58,569 She said she doesn't want you. Get out. 1638 01:31:58,720 --> 01:32:02,122 ♪ So I was the one with all the glory ♪ 1639 01:32:03,520 --> 01:32:06,410 ♪ But you were the ones With all the strength ♪ 1640 01:32:06,560 --> 01:32:09,291 Okay, Jesus, stop. What's wrong with you? 1641 01:32:09,440 --> 01:32:12,569 You think you can start singing and we're gonna forgive you? 1642 01:32:12,720 --> 01:32:14,085 It doesn't work like that, okay? 1643 01:32:14,240 --> 01:32:19,610 ♪ Did you ever know That you're my hero? ♪ 1644 01:32:20,840 --> 01:32:21,921 Wendy. 1645 01:32:22,160 --> 01:32:28,008 BOTH: ♪ You're everything I would like to be ♪ 1646 01:32:28,720 --> 01:32:34,284 ♪ I can fly higher than an eagle ♪ 1647 01:32:34,600 --> 01:32:39,811 ♪ 'Cause you are The wind beneath my wings ♪ 1648 01:32:39,960 --> 01:32:43,806 ♪ Oh, you, you, you ♪ 1649 01:32:44,520 --> 01:32:48,844 ♪ You are the wind beneath my wings ♪ 1650 01:32:49,080 --> 01:32:52,448 Fiona. I don't know the words. 1651 01:32:52,600 --> 01:32:55,331 Yes, you do. Yes, you do. 1652 01:32:56,840 --> 01:33:00,083 ♪ FIy ♪ 1653 01:33:00,240 --> 01:33:03,926 ALL: ♪ Fly ♪ 1654 01:33:04,080 --> 01:33:07,846 ♪ So high against the sky ♪ 1655 01:33:08,000 --> 01:33:12,005 ♪ So high I almost touched the sky ♪ 1656 01:33:12,680 --> 01:33:18,084 ♪ Thank you Thank God for you ♪ 1657 01:33:18,280 --> 01:33:23,280 ♪ The wind beneath my wings ♪ 1658 01:33:29,760 --> 01:33:31,649 [ALL LAUGHING] 1659 01:33:32,520 --> 01:33:35,251 That was super gay. Oh, my God. 1660 01:33:35,400 --> 01:33:38,802 Don't tell anyone we did this. I'm serious. 1661 01:33:38,960 --> 01:33:42,806 I'm really sorry, you guys. We know. We know. 1662 01:33:42,960 --> 01:33:46,089 Also, I fucked Rusty Waters. 1663 01:33:46,240 --> 01:33:48,686 Well... Look at you. How was it? 1664 01:33:48,840 --> 01:33:50,205 Yeah. 1665 01:33:50,360 --> 01:33:51,805 It was quick. 1666 01:33:51,960 --> 01:33:53,371 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 1667 01:33:53,560 --> 01:33:56,723 Brandy, please tell me you were not getting pregnant tonight. 1668 01:33:56,880 --> 01:33:59,326 Don't worry, she was here. Don't worry, she used a condom. 1669 01:34:00,720 --> 01:34:03,007 Can we please talk in the hallway, Dad? 1670 01:34:04,400 --> 01:34:06,209 FIONA: It's okay. 1671 01:34:06,360 --> 01:34:07,885 Just lie. [MOUTHS] I'm sorry. 1672 01:34:08,040 --> 01:34:09,610 FIONA: You're gonna be okay. 1673 01:34:11,720 --> 01:34:13,210 Let me just start by saying 1674 01:34:13,360 --> 01:34:18,366 if you ever need to talk about birth control or rubbers or-- 1675 01:34:18,520 --> 01:34:20,887 Did you at least use the lube that your mother--? 1676 01:34:21,040 --> 01:34:24,761 Dad, I don't wanna talk about that stuff with you. 1677 01:34:24,920 --> 01:34:27,764 Thank goodness. Because neither do I. Ever. 1678 01:34:28,800 --> 01:34:32,327 I just... I need to know that you're okay. 1679 01:34:32,520 --> 01:34:34,363 Dad, I'm fine. 1680 01:34:35,240 --> 01:34:37,004 Seriously. 1681 01:34:37,600 --> 01:34:41,810 You don't have to worry about me. I'm afraid that's not gonna be possible. 1682 01:34:42,360 --> 01:34:45,250 Because you're my daughter and I love you. 1683 01:34:45,400 --> 01:34:48,404 [BIG HEAD TODD & THE MONSTERS' BITTERSWEET" PLAYING] 1684 01:34:51,800 --> 01:34:55,407 Now, please go back to playing with your loose friends. 1685 01:34:56,560 --> 01:34:57,607 Okay, Dad. 1686 01:34:58,440 --> 01:35:04,971 ♪ A little light looks through Her bedroom window ♪ 1687 01:35:06,440 --> 01:35:08,920 ♪ She dances and I dream ♪ 1688 01:35:10,000 --> 01:35:13,800 ♪ She's not so far as she seems ♪ 1689 01:35:14,080 --> 01:35:17,766 ♪ Of brighter meadows Melting sunsets ♪ 1690 01:35:17,920 --> 01:35:20,287 ♪ Her hair blowing in the breeze ♪ 1691 01:35:22,320 --> 01:35:24,322 ♪ And she can't see me watching ♪ 1692 01:35:24,480 --> 01:35:27,450 BRANDY [OVER LOUDSPEAKER]: Never thought I'd see you on the guard stand. 1693 01:35:27,800 --> 01:35:30,167 ♪ And I'm thinking love ♪ 1694 01:35:30,320 --> 01:35:31,765 [CHUCKLES] 1695 01:35:33,640 --> 01:35:34,641 ♪ Love ♪ 1696 01:35:34,800 --> 01:35:37,849 Well, hello. Hi. 1697 01:35:38,040 --> 01:35:40,486 You can't stay away from here. 1698 01:35:40,640 --> 01:35:45,931 I heard that you stopped by my house to save me, so to speak. 1699 01:35:46,080 --> 01:35:48,003 I just wanted to come by and thank you. 1700 01:35:48,160 --> 01:35:52,449 Yeah, I tried to do the right thing, but I ended up fucking your sister instead. 1701 01:35:53,480 --> 01:35:56,689 She's hot. Your dad walked in. 1702 01:35:56,840 --> 01:36:01,129 And my boner did not go away. I didn't need to hear that, Willy. 1703 01:36:02,000 --> 01:36:05,527 I guess I'll be seeing you a lot now that you're hanging out with my sister. 1704 01:36:07,440 --> 01:36:10,523 Uh, no, we're not going out or anything. 1705 01:36:10,680 --> 01:36:14,526 It's not like I didn't try, but she said something like: 1706 01:36:14,680 --> 01:36:19,368 "Fish needs a man like a woman needs a tricycle"? 1707 01:36:19,520 --> 01:36:22,046 I don't know. Something you taught her. 1708 01:36:22,200 --> 01:36:26,888 Hey, speaking of teaching, I never paid you for the swim lessons. 1709 01:36:27,040 --> 01:36:28,883 Wow. You didn't think I'd give it to you, huh? 1710 01:36:29,040 --> 01:36:31,168 No, actually- Right. 1711 01:36:31,320 --> 01:36:34,722 I'm a changed man, Brandy. 1712 01:36:35,320 --> 01:36:40,963 And, if you want, if you have nothing going on next summer, 1713 01:36:41,120 --> 01:36:43,282 you wanna come back here to work, 1714 01:36:43,560 --> 01:36:45,642 there's a manager position waiting for you. 1715 01:36:45,960 --> 01:36:49,851 Wait, what? You're quitting? Yes. 1716 01:36:50,000 --> 01:36:52,321 You just learned how to swim. You worked so hard. 1717 01:36:52,480 --> 01:36:55,006 Yeah, I know, but I think... 1718 01:36:55,720 --> 01:36:59,486 I think getting with Amber made me realize that I could do better, you know? 1719 01:36:59,640 --> 01:37:02,962 Your sister's like caviar. You're like cheese. 1720 01:37:03,120 --> 01:37:05,248 Okay, okay, Willy. Like sharp cheddar. 1721 01:37:05,400 --> 01:37:09,564 I tasted a little caviar and I realized, like, what the fuck am I doing in Boise? 1722 01:37:10,440 --> 01:37:14,081 So I'm gonna get out. I'm gonna see the world, 1723 01:37:14,880 --> 01:37:16,405 and I'm gonna better myself. 1724 01:37:16,600 --> 01:37:20,844 Well, I respect that. I actually think that's very mature of you. 1725 01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:23,765 Yeah. I'm gonna follow The Dead. 1726 01:37:24,600 --> 01:37:27,080 You know, Jerry's health isn't doing too well, 1727 01:37:27,240 --> 01:37:29,288 and I'm not getting any younger, so... 1728 01:37:30,920 --> 01:37:32,001 [SIGHS] 1729 01:37:32,200 --> 01:37:34,601 Totally making the right decision. 1730 01:37:36,840 --> 01:37:38,842 [♪♪] 1731 01:37:44,600 --> 01:37:46,602 [MARCY SOBBING] 1732 01:37:47,400 --> 01:37:50,609 Ladies. Oh, Marce, you're still homesick? 1733 01:37:50,800 --> 01:37:52,290 MARCY: Uh-huh. 1734 01:37:52,440 --> 01:37:55,011 BRANDY: Give it another month, Marcy. 1735 01:38:02,200 --> 01:38:05,204 Hi there. Cameron. 1736 01:38:07,640 --> 01:38:10,564 It's been a while. I know. 1737 01:38:10,720 --> 01:38:14,964 You never returned my electronic mail. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. 1738 01:38:15,120 --> 01:38:17,487 I just... I think I needed some time. 1739 01:38:17,640 --> 01:38:23,044 I understand. And I'm sorry too. That night was really crazy. 1740 01:38:23,880 --> 01:38:26,645 But I'm glad that we, like, never had sex. 1741 01:38:26,800 --> 01:38:28,165 Mm-hm. 1742 01:38:28,320 --> 01:38:30,322 I think it would've confused our friendship. 1743 01:38:30,480 --> 01:38:31,811 I know what you mean. 1744 01:38:32,440 --> 01:38:34,329 You do? Yes. 1745 01:38:34,480 --> 01:38:39,691 Really? Mm-hm. I did it. I had sex. 1746 01:38:40,200 --> 01:38:41,247 Wow. 1747 01:38:41,400 --> 01:38:44,324 My roommate and I went out, a drunk senior came up to me and said: 1748 01:38:44,520 --> 01:38:46,170 "You a freshman?" I was like, "Yeah." 1749 01:38:46,320 --> 01:38:48,561 Next thing you know, I'm losing it on the bathroom floor. 1750 01:38:48,720 --> 01:38:52,327 Whoa. She just up and took it. She just up and took it. Heh. 1751 01:38:52,960 --> 01:38:55,531 Yeah, but all that to say, I just want you to know 1752 01:38:55,680 --> 01:38:57,921 that I know what you meant that night. 1753 01:38:58,080 --> 01:39:00,845 That sex is a big deal, but it's also not a big deal. 1754 01:39:01,000 --> 01:39:04,322 Don't get me wrong, it's a big deal, but it doesn't have to be such a big deal. 1755 01:39:04,480 --> 01:39:06,369 No, it doesn't. 1756 01:39:06,520 --> 01:39:09,490 I guess what I mean is, sometimes sex is just sex. 1757 01:39:09,760 --> 01:39:12,650 Yeah, sometimes sex is just sex. 1758 01:39:12,840 --> 01:39:14,842 [ROSS GIDNEY'S "ONE TIME LOOKER" PLAYING] 1759 01:39:18,960 --> 01:39:21,486 Yay. Yay. YaY- 1760 01:39:21,680 --> 01:39:23,728 Little circles. Little circles. 1761 01:39:24,240 --> 01:39:26,641 Wait, I have an idea. 1762 01:39:28,680 --> 01:39:30,409 [BRANDY GRUNTING] 1763 01:39:30,560 --> 01:39:34,167 Oh, my God. Yes. Cameron, it's happening. 1764 01:39:34,360 --> 01:39:35,964 Cameron, it's gonna happen. 1765 01:39:36,120 --> 01:39:39,886 [MOANING] 1766 01:39:41,760 --> 01:39:46,163 ♪ One time lookers, you and me And that's the way it's meant to be ♪ 1767 01:39:46,320 --> 01:39:48,084 ♪ 'Cause the hi-fi radio ♪ 1768 01:39:48,240 --> 01:39:51,403 Hey, they're doing a clambake with-- Dad? 1769 01:39:52,240 --> 01:39:54,481 I said, not the back door. 1770 01:39:54,640 --> 01:39:58,167 There's doors we don't do. The back door's one of them. 1771 01:39:58,560 --> 01:40:00,369 We went over this. 1772 01:40:01,640 --> 01:40:04,120 ♪ But will you come home with me? ♪ 1773 01:40:04,280 --> 01:40:05,725 [CLEARS THROAT] 1774 01:40:05,880 --> 01:40:06,927 Good job, Cameron. 1775 01:40:07,080 --> 01:40:08,241 ♪ You can't touch this ♪ 1776 01:40:10,640 --> 01:40:11,766 ♪ You can't touch this ♪ 1777 01:40:14,120 --> 01:40:15,326 ♪ You can't touch this ♪ 1778 01:40:17,800 --> 01:40:19,086 ♪ You can't touch this ♪ 1779 01:40:20,400 --> 01:40:23,768 ♪ My, my, my, my Music hits me so hard ♪ 1780 01:40:23,920 --> 01:40:25,604 ♪ Makes me say "Oh, my Lord" ♪ 1781 01:40:25,760 --> 01:40:27,250 ♪ Thank you for blessing me ♪ 1782 01:40:27,400 --> 01:40:29,164 ♪ With a mind to rhyme And two hype feet ♪ 1783 01:40:29,320 --> 01:40:31,049 ♪ It feels good When you know you're down ♪ 1784 01:40:31,200 --> 01:40:32,770 ♪ A super dope homeboy From the Oaktown ♪ 1785 01:40:32,960 --> 01:40:36,726 ♪ And I'm known as such And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch ♪ 1786 01:40:37,600 --> 01:40:40,490 ♪ I told you, homeboy You can't touch this ♪ 1787 01:40:41,160 --> 01:40:43,003 ♪ Yeah, that's how we living And you know ♪ 1788 01:40:43,160 --> 01:40:44,241 ♪ You can't touch this ♪ 1789 01:40:44,840 --> 01:40:47,650 ♪ Look at my eyes, man You can't touch this ♪ 1790 01:40:48,880 --> 01:40:50,962 ♪ Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics You can't touch this ♪ 1791 01:40:51,120 --> 01:40:53,202 ♪ Fresh new kicks, advance You gotta like that ♪ 1792 01:40:53,400 --> 01:40:55,289 ♪ Now you know you wanna dance So move ♪ 1793 01:40:55,480 --> 01:40:57,767 ♪ Out of your seat And get a fly girl and catch this beat ♪ 1794 01:40:57,920 --> 01:40:59,729 ♪ While it's rolling, hold on ♪ 1795 01:40:59,880 --> 01:41:01,370 ♪ Pump a little bit And let her know it's going on ♪ 1796 01:41:01,520 --> 01:41:03,443 ♪ Like that, like that ♪ 1797 01:41:03,600 --> 01:41:04,965 ♪ Cold on a mission so fall 'em back ♪ 1798 01:41:05,160 --> 01:41:06,969 ♪ Let 'em know That you're too much ♪ 1799 01:41:07,160 --> 01:41:09,162 ♪ And this is a beat, uh They can't touch ♪ 1800 01:41:11,880 --> 01:41:13,006 ♪ You can't touch this ♪ 1801 01:41:14,240 --> 01:41:16,686 ♪ Yeah You can't touch this ♪ 1802 01:41:17,840 --> 01:41:20,491 ♪ I told you You can't touch this ♪ 1803 01:41:22,240 --> 01:41:23,924 ♪ Too hype, can't touch this ♪ 1804 01:41:25,000 --> 01:41:27,480 ♪ Yeah, we out of here Can't touch this ♪ 1805 01:41:34,840 --> 01:41:36,842 [THE CRANBERRIES' "DREAMS" PLAYING] 1806 01:42:07,120 --> 01:42:14,049 ♪ Oh, my life is changing every day ♪ 1807 01:42:14,200 --> 01:42:17,602 ♪ In every possible way ♪ 1808 01:42:21,880 --> 01:42:29,128 ♪ And, oh, my dreams It's never quite as it seems ♪ 1809 01:42:29,400 --> 01:42:33,041 ♪ Never quite as it seems ♪ 1810 01:42:35,840 --> 01:42:43,406 ♪ I know I've felt like this before But now I'm feeling it even more ♪ 1811 01:42:44,280 --> 01:42:47,170 ♪ Because it came from you ♪ 1812 01:42:50,920 --> 01:42:54,402 ♪ Then I open up and see ♪ 1813 01:42:54,600 --> 01:42:58,241 ♪ The person falling here is me ♪ 1814 01:42:59,040 --> 01:43:01,884 ♪ A different way to be ♪ 1815 01:43:21,680 --> 01:43:28,529 ♪ I want more Impossible to ignore ♪ 1816 01:43:29,120 --> 01:43:32,203 ♪ Impossible to ignore ♪