Oh no! The 4 is missing!
I'm taking it. Great.
Did it come out? Give it to me. Bring it over.
Give it to me.
It came out great. See that?
- You see that? - No.
OK, off you go. Now listen up, kids.
Today I'm going to tell you about the striking techniques...
...of the new generation of world football players.
But first an overview of football.
Power is everything in football, kids.
Be like a hippo.
Be like a bear.
Show your power on the field.
How are you going to do that?
Look. What's this?
- A shoe. - Notjust a shoe!
A weapon, it's a weapon.
The most important weapon in football. What's this?
- A shoe's toe? - It's what you use for a toe kick.
Use your toe to kick.
Don't bother with your instep. Just kick with your toe
- Understand? - Understood.
The real footballers are Hami Mandirali... Ünal Karaman.
Ayi Gökmen. Rambo Yusuf.
Recep from Besiktas.
They reverse shots into their own goals. But they show power.
Oan you follow me?
- Are you with me so far? - Yes.
Well then let me demonstrate...
...using Hayrettin. Hayrettin, go to the goal.
Right, kids. Are you going to learn toe-kicks?
Yes, we are!
Let's go, little tigers! Watch closely.
In the name of God.
He's out.
He's out cold. Take Hayrettin to the hospital.
Leave him at the clinic. Run.
Run.
- Dig up to the corner of that building... - Stay there.
Right up to the corner...
What's up?
- Recep, your shoe. - Thanks. Get back to work.
- What are you doing here? - It's no problem. We're exploring.
What are you exploring? This is the same old Güngören.
Lf's there's anything to explore let's do it together.
Sir, we're the property owners. Ali Bey bought this lot.
We're doing a land survey. A building's going up here.
Hey!
You might be the owners but we're the locals!
Are you conning us? This is the only football field in the neighborhood.
Kids have been playing here for years.
Ibrahim left the lot to us when I was a kid.
Anyway, he left the neighborhood.
We're talking about the same thing. Ibrahim has left.
But he's left for good. Poof. It's just as well he's gone.
He'd be miserable if he saw what things have come to.
The way his relatives fought after he died. Oh boy.
All that fighting and carrying on.
I had to intervene with the help of the police.
His boss is the rich Ali Alkantara.
I called him and said, "Oome over here, Ali."
"There's some land with complications. Buy it," I said.
"I've got no expectations. Build a multi-storey building on it."
Hey! What's all this about?
I said this, he did that. What are you trying to say?
- But... - Shut up.
- I mean... - Shut up.
You're getting on my nerves.
I won't let anyone build on this lot.
This is our football field. I'll talk to this Ali Bey if I have to.
I'll explain it to Ali Bey. Now take me to Ali Bey.
Get going. I'm following you.
Lead the way.
Greetings, brother. - Greetings.
- Are you Ali Alkantara? - Yes, I'm Ali Alkantara.
I'm Recep Ivedik.
From what I heard, You've bought our football field.
You've decided to build on it.
I won't let you do that, brother.
We've been playing football there since I was a boy.
I played ball there, and now a new generation of kids are playing.
Understand, brother?
That's what I won't let you build on that lot.
Get that into your head. - I sank money in that lot.
I made an investment. Why should I care what you say?
I'll give you such a smack!
Get your dog off me. I'll speak plainly, Ali.
You might be some kind of mafioso, but there's nothing I won't do, Ali Bey.
Wise up, Ali Bey.
Don't piss me off, Ali Bey.
I've got ways to get what I want, too, Ali Bey.
Who cares what you think? I made an investment.
- I paid good money. - How much did you pay?
- 250,000. - I'll give you 300,000.
Sell me that lot.
- Recep, what 300,000? - Business is business, Nurullah.
We'll play by his rules.
It's all yours.
Take it.
This promissory note must paid off in three months.
If it's not, I'll take a bulldozer to the lot.
You're a weird guy. What are you all about?
Are you a softie or a mafioso, it's hard to tell.
- You've got 3 months. - OK, OK.
A promise is a promise. I'll bring the money within 3 months...
...and the lot is mine, OK? - OK, the lot's yours.
Now if you'll excuse us. Get going, Nurullah.
Greetings. - Greetings.
First, let me say 'good evening'.
First, I'm going to brief you. Then I'll explain.
I was coaching the kids today...
...when a bunch of guys came and said they'd bought the field.
Our football field for all these years.
The football field where...
...we have been playing all these years, since we were kids.
An oasis in the middle of all this concrete.
Do you follow me?
I immediately set off to see the entrepreneur who'd bought it.
I went there and talked to him.
I offered him more than he'd paid for it...
...and got the lot back for our neighborhood.
- Good for you. - You're a real man.
But it came at a price.
You wonder how much.
300,000 lira. I'm screwed.
That's a lot of money.
That's why I'm in trouble. I'm screwed.
Actually we're all screwed.
If I'm screwed, we're all screwed. A real daisy chain.
Am I the fall guy here? If I'm screwed, so are you.
It's that simple.
I'll shut up now.
And that's why now...
...I'm asking you to empty your pockets into the bag...
...Nurullah is holding, to help shoulder the expense.
Oome on, let's see what you got.
Look, a bottle cap.
Someone threw in nail clippers.
What a bunch of donkeys.
Look at this. Someone put in a cotton swab
A used cotton swab.
It's covered with yellow ear wax.
Look, smell it.
Who would do that to the kids?
We need money for the kids. Put that aside.
I'll send that to Mehmet at forensics and find out who did it.
I suspect it was Servet.
But when I have it checked and once we've got some DNA...
...I'll get a sample from him. Get it?
But not with a swab from his ear.
Add this...
- 54.70. - Add this.
- 55.70. - You can sell the lighter to the grocer.
Finished. How much altogether?
- 55.70. - That's shameful.
It's embarassing.
Just 55.70 from 30-40 people?
This won't do. We won't get anywhere with them.
We need to find some guys with full pockets.
Get it? Guys who have cash in buckets.
Get it? Big shots with rolls of fat on their necks.
They're the ones with money. We'll milk them for it.
We'll get them to donate. That's how it works.
Hello. Good day, sir.
I'd like to speak to Rahmi Koç.
Well, where is he? Out?
What do you mean by 'out'?
If you tell me his exact location I might be able to catch him.
It's about a piece of land and some money.
We only need him to give us a little.
Then give me his son. Give me Mustafa Koç.
Where is he? Ah, playing golf.
Then give me the other one.
Give me Ali Koç. The handsome one.
At a match? He's forever out playing football.
Give me his little brother, Kamil Koç.
Kamil Koç isn't a family member? Have you disowned him?
What a shame an old family like yours can't even share.
He's out on the road every day, this Kamil Koç.
Hang up, then Hang up.
Get a load of that secretary. You'd think her surname was Koç.
'I' before 'e'...
...except after 'c'.
Receive, not recieve.
Hello, Özge darling. Is that you?
You're not Özge Ulusoy?
Don't try to tell me it's the wrong number. This is your home phone.
You're the same old Özge Ulusoy. Please.
Get us some of your dad's money. Who's your dad?
Isn't your dad Yilmaz Ulusoy? What do you mean, no?
Özge Ulusoy isn't from the Ulusoy family?
I'm not falling for that.
You can't pull that with me, Özge.
OK then, Özge. We can't see eye to eye.
OK, Özge. I don't need you.
Give me your big brother.
Give me your big brother, Çagatay Ulusoy.
What do you mean, Çagatay Ulusoy isn't your brother?
What do you mean you're not even related?
Nearly all the rich and famous share the same last names.
Damn you.
Damn you to hell.
You're not what you seem.
And your belly button's really high.
Friends tell painful truths. Your navel's almost in your mouth.
This'll never work.
We have to get to the mother Iode.
An exception to the i before e rule.
I know I remember one.
But does the rule apply to digraphs?
What about 'science'?
Hello. Good day.
Is that Tübitak? Put a few businessmen on the line, one after another.
No, put them through to me, not each other.
There are no businessmen? Well what have you got?
Scientists? Tübitak should have businessmen.
Doesn't it stand for "The Leading Businessmen of Turkey"?
That's Tüsiad? Tüsiad?
First time I heard of it. I've never heard of Tüsiad.
I know a few organizations: UEFA, TJK, Turkish Language Board.
Those are the ones I know. Tüsiad's a mystery to me.
Sorry about that.
May God protect you and help you think clearly.
Eat lots of molasses and tahini. It's good for the brain.
Guys, I trust you but you've never done anything useful.
We haven't even managed to launch a satellite in all these years.
Where did we launch it?
But from where? Wasn't it from French Guiana?
Be a little enterprising. Be a little productive.
OK, hang up. Out it short and hang up.
Hang up.
That scientist over there is giving me advice.
Here I am working away and what are you doing?
You're playing games.
I'm the only one here working for the kids.
Whoa...
Slow down.
I'll do something like this.
Quick, take me to that cubicle.
Quickly. Step on it.
- Is this the purchasing department? - Yes.
Ah. Hello.
I've got a deal for you.
If I said I had a nice, live...
...stone-free, well filtering, nicely marbled with fat...
...4- 5 kilo brand new kidney, how much would you pay for it?
- Kidney, sir? - A human kidney. My own kidney.
I'm sorry, sir. There's been a misunderstanding.
This is the purchasing department. We buy medical equipment.
- We don't buy kidneys and such. - I see.
- Spleens? - For goodness sake.
Get a spleen. It improves the blood. It's medical equipment.
Sir, this is a hospital not an abattoir.
And I've got work to do.
I'll give you my small intestine. You can make chitlins.
I have more than I can use.
I eat, and out it goes. Eat, and out it goes.
Fix me up a direct exit. I'll eat and shit all at once.
Now you've gone too far. I won't have that filth.
It's time you left. I'm busy.
- You won't take my kidney? - No sir, we won't.
You won't take anything of mine? - What of yours could I take?
Now let me show you out.
Sorry, my hand bumped it. Sorry.
- Be careful. - Sorry, my hand bumped it.
Sorry.
- You're the branch manager? - Yes, what is it?
Ah, I was looking for you.
- Yes? - Hello.
How can I help you?
It's about a loan.
What kind of loan? A personal loan?
Home or vehicle?
A personal loan. - Have you decided how much?
- Yes. - How much?
300,000.
- How much? - 300,000 lira.
Sir, we can't extend a loan that high.
We usually approve amounts between 5000 and 10,000.
Ma'am, if all I needed was 5-10 thousand why would I come here?
- This is a bank, isn't it? - Yes.
Well, I could collect 5-10 thousand from my friends if I wanted to.
What's your advantage in being a bank?
- But sir, like I said... - Button it.
- Sir... - Button it.
It's called a personal loan, right? - Yes, a personal loan.
Well I'm a person and I need 300,000.
We can't approve a sum that large.
It's impossible for us to give you a personal loan for that sun.
It's a sum, not a sun. First let's make that clear.
The sun is what shines down on us by the grace of God.
Sum. I've got a way with words, you see.
- Alright. - Look, I visited a bunch of banks...
...and chose yours because it seemed best.
I'm not chosen; I choose. I'll leave and go to a different bank.
I'll walk out and go to a different bank.
OK, sir. Let me have your ID card and I'll see what I can do.
That's more like it. Here's my ID.
Sir, what's this? - My identification.
- Your what? - Identification.
- My ID. - I can't proceed with this.
It's not clear it's you. You'll have to renew it.
That's my ID. Give it here. Look.
See? The same wild eyes. The same round face...
...and the same black unibrow. Here.
Sir, your card doesn't even have an ID number.
I can't process your application.
Ma'am I've been a Turkish citizen for 37 years.
And I've never heard anything about an ID number.
I swear you're the first person to bring it up.
Sir, you need to renew your card.
Otherwise we can't give you any loans.
- Give me a mortgage. - I'm sorry.
- Give me a consumer loan. - Sir, please.
- Job training loan? - No.
- A farm cooperative loan. - Sir, what are you talking about?
I'll go into cotton and hazelnuts with whatever's left over.
Sir, please. I can't help you.
Ma'am you sure are strict. Outside work, it's another story.
There's plenty of credit for everyone.
I give up.
I've got another proposal. - What?
Oome closer.
Oome real close.
Oome here.
I checked there aren't any bugs.
- I need 300,000. - Yes?
Arrange 350,000...
...and I'll withdraw it...
...and meet you in the parking lot where I'll skim off 50,000...
...and stick it in the lining of your skirt
What are you talking about? - That's what I'll do.
It'll be a win-win for us both.
What are you saying? I've had it with you.
Why would I meet you in the parking lot?
I'll save you from corporate slavery.
Leave the room at once! - What's wrong?
You've offered me a bribe.
- Not a bribe, a donation. - What?
I'll do it as a donation. I'll even give you a receipt.
You scratch my back... Get it?
Get out of here. Leave here at once. Enough!
You won't even nibble, will you? - That's right.
I showed you 100 different ways.
You won't even let me get to first base.
Go or I'll call security.
Where am I supposed to find the money?
That doesn't concern me. Find it wherever.
Should I steal? Should I shoot someone?
- Should I sell my body? - I don't care. Do what you want.
- My, oh my. - Why are you getting on my nerves?
Why won't you help me?
Is it so hard?
I'm asking you, ma'am. Is it so hard?
As if I wanted it for myself.
You'd think it was for me.
If I want it for myself...
...my wild animals gnaw me to death.
May they gnaw at my heart
May they spoon out my eyes.
May they tear out my liver And eat me alive...
...if I want it for myself. Shame on you.
- I wanted it for the kids. - Get out!
So you lure me into your office by promising me a loan.
And then comes the sexual harassment.
You tug down your stockings with your foot, like this.
And move on to the crotch area. Tugging at it.
- Pervert - You disgraceful aphrodisiac.
Disgraceful aphrodisiac. With your nipples all hard.
Shame on you.
Primates enjoy warm water.
They're making the most of their friendship up in a tree.
Oh, look at that.
My how he loves the taste of snot.
And enjoys eating it.
Are you ready to live and compete...
...on a tropical island?
If you think you're fit and strong...
...this desert island awaits you.
Out of the competition will emerge only one winner.
And that person will go home with 500,000 lira.
'Desert Island' is beginning.
Look, they said the grand prize is 500,000.
I'm not going to a deserted island. That much I won't do.
- Why won't you go the island? - No, I'm not up to it.
I don't want to. Don't push me. I can't live in those conditions.
In what conditions? You live the same way here.
Here you crap in kitty litter, there you crap in sand.
You live in a hut here, you live in a hut there.
I'm afraid of flying. I can't go.
You can take a pill and sleep the whole way there.
I can't sleep when someone is sitting next to me.
Someone could grope me while I'm asleep.
- You promised the neighborhood. - I didn't make a promise like that.
I said I'd buy the lot, and somehow we will.
But how? What could be a better chance than this?
How else will you find 500,000 all at once?
No, I can't.
Think of the kids. You promised them.
They'll lose their football field...
You mentioned the kids. That's my weak spot.
You got right to my weak spot.
You hit me where it hurts most.
OK, I'll go.
I'll go. Let's apply.
- Excuse me? - Yes?
Where do I apply for 'The Island'?
Applications are online, sir. And today was the last day.
It's over. You're too late.
What do you mean - too late? There are all these people here.
I want to apply, too. Give me a form.
It's over. Sorry.
You've got one. Let me fill it out.
Stop it! Orazy or what!
What do you mean, over?
It's not over until I say it is.
It's not over until I say so.
- Hello, The Island? - Hello. The Island.
I'm here for The Island too.
You don't look the type for The Island.
What's that supposed to mean? - You've got a potbelly.
A bald head. A bushy beard.
Your arteries are clogged with butter. Your heart' s barely beating.
Your liver's already dead.
The sun would knock you out. You won't get out alive. Go home.
I've always been healthy. Nothing's wrong with me.
- Give me your form. - Hey, what are you doing?
Give me the form. And give me that, too.
Give me your points. Now go home. - The competition?
Go home!
Look, there are auditions for The X Factor right over there.
A dog won last year. An orang-utan has a good chance this year.
Go get in line.
Let's keep moving.
Hello.
Should I stand here, On the red dot?
Berke Göksu.
That should be Recep Ivedik. It's written wrong.
What? You wrote your name wrong? Didn't you fill it out yourself?
No, I didn't. I had a bad hand so I gave it to a friend.
He wrote his name not mine by mistake. The guy's a moron.
That's not you in the photo. You haven't got any hair in it.
The photo's me. It's a picture of me.
I was like that 6 months ago.
I had a hair transplant. I had hair plug therapy.
- Plugs all over my head. - You added eyebrows too, I see.
There's a different reason for that. Erectile dysfunction pills.
Hairiness is a side effect.
Hairiness and madness.
Here in the brows and at the fork.
- At the fork? - Yeah, the ass crack.
Where the cheeks meet. It looks like a fork.
OK, I got it. No more details.
Tell us about yourself. What kind of person is Recep?
I'm aggressive. I have complexes.
When I open up I'm like a pussy cat.
I give and give to those I love.
But I take and take from those I hate.
I'll exploit those I hate right to the marrow.
That's the way I am, my nature.
Do you think you can handle the conditions on the island?
I don't think they'll cause me trouble. There's nothing special about them.
On the island, we'll eat what we find.
Right? Meals aren't served.
It's the same in Istanbul. I eat what I find.
I don't think it'll be any different.
As far as the toilet, I think that on the island...
...you crap in a ditch. That's what they say.
If that's the case, I've got a ditch in my house in Istanbul.
I crap into it the same way.
That's the system. My toilet's been broken for two years.
I got a big plastic wash basin and filled it with kitty litter, menthol.
I crap into it. I've been popping in kitty litter for 2 years.
Do you really think you can win The Island?
If I don't win, I'm a liar and a cheat.
- What will you do with the prize money? - What's it to you, lady?
Thank you. You can expect a call.
- When will you call? - Within a few days.
But which day? Today, tomorrow, the next day?
Am I expected to wait by the phone?
Within a few days. We need to evaluate the forms.
There are other candidates. We'll call when we're ready. OK?
Off you go.
Thank you.
Off you go, thanks.
We haven't shaken hands.
That's right, dear neighbors. Your brother is going off
...to a faraway place, to strange islands...
...to represent you What are you going to do?
What is it your duty to do? To support me.
Remember to send your brother lots of text messages...
...especially on elimination nights.
When I come back after a month...
...I'll check your phone records to see who sent messages.
If I find out you haven't texted, I'll be at you like the black angel of death.
I'd never threaten. I just... offer advice.
I ask you, as a brother.
But if you don't you'll regret you were ever born.
Text. OK, friends?
With your support...
...I'll come back from that island a winner.
Off you go, Recep. Go in health.
Win and come back safely. - Thanks, brother.
You'll be in charge around here while I'm gone, right Toraman?
Here, Recep. Enjoy it.
What have you done?
I wish you'd given me this earlier. I'd have roasted it.
Recep, my mom made this for you.
I'll text all the time.
Thanks, Rifat the Moron.
- Thanks. - Take this to remember us.
And you'll coach the team, Hayrettin.
OK? Keep drilling.
Teach the boys offside tactics.
- OK. - Alright. May God watch over you all.
Goodbye, Recep. Go and return like water.
What are you doing, Mualla? Just look at this car.
I thought it was clean. I didn't realize.
What do you mean, Mualla? You splashed dirty water on the car.
Halit pees and craps in that bucket. And you splash it on the car.
How am I supposed to wash the car at the last minute?
The car's covered in filth.
How could you.
May God watch over you.
Whoa!
Welcome to The Island.
Thank you.
As you know, there are 2 teams on 2 different islands...
...wearing 2 different colors.
You'll remember that last season...
...we determined who would be in which team...
...before anyone came to the island.
But this season the teams...
...will be decided by drawing lots held in just a moment.
We've had a great selection process.
Let me congratulate you all. You'll make your own luck.
- The drawing lots are a good idea. - Thank you, Recep.
Who would like to be team leader?
I would. I would, Irfan. I'm right here.
The first team leader is Taylan.
- And for the second time... - Hey, I'm right over here.
Recep. Since you insist...
...we won't disappoint you on day one. Everyone give him a hand.
Welcome.
I'll hand you a bandana...
...that signifies your team colors. Now if you're all ready...
We're ready. - OK.
Taylan, you'll draw first.
Simge.
Simge in on the blue team, with Taylan.
Nice draw. A perfect first draw.
He got a real cutie. I hope I do the same.
By the grace of God.
- Aslihan. - That's me.
Recep's adding Aslihan to his team.
This isn't very nice. This isn't good at all.
Why? You drew Aslihan. - She'll eat a lot.
- Take a look at yourself. - She'll be eating nonstop.
We'll go over budget. Oonditions are bad enough on the island.
And we'll have to fill her up. That's impossible.
I'll toss this back and draw again.
You can't do that. Taylan is next. Right, Taylan.
- Burak. - Burak joins Taylan's team.
He grabbed the good-Iooking guy. See that?
The kid's like a hyena. He's two for two.
He's doing great.
You're drawing next, Recep.
Pray for me.
Halil Ibo.
Halil Ibrahim joins Recep's team
This won't do at all.
First I draw a cow, then I draw a midget.
Taylan, you're up. Go on.
- Oenk. - Oenk joins Taylan's team.
He nabbed a guy again. There's nobody left.
No guys are left. How could I be so unlucky.
What kind of luck is this? Two for two.
How could things go so wrong? God help me in my third draw.
God help me.
Let me mix it up good. If I can just get that girl.
- It's luck of the draw. - I drew you.
- Necati. - Necati joins Recep's team.
Look at the way he walks and runs.
Knock-kneed, like he shit in his pants.
So far I've drawn a midget, a fatty and a geriatric.
How am I supposed to compete with this? He'll kick the bucket.
It's shameful to talk like that in front of Necati.
The sun will be beating down on him, over 100 degrees.
He'll turn beet red and keel over.
We'll have to find a burial spot.
Are we here to compete or to stage a funeral?
Oontinue please, Taylan.
- Melis. - Melis is on Taylan's team.
He got another bombastic girl. - It's your turn to draw.
The name in the ball all comes down to luck.
It might be luck, but I keep missing, Irfan.
It's an Infantino or an Irfan.
You're making me miss, Irfan.
How could I be?
I think the balls vibrate. That's What I think, Irfantino.
Your names are even alike, Irfan - Irfantino.
There's cheating going on with these balls.
So, pick another ball.
Will he get the teammate he wants?
I'm taking one straight out this time. No mixing.
I've got my eye on that girl.
- Gaye. - That's me.
Gaye is on Recep's team. Recep gets another female teammate.
- That's not a female. - What?
That's no girl, it's a boy.
Are you sick or what? Oan't you see I'm a girl.
Look buddy, I got no problem with you.
Don't horn in everything.
It's a guy. A guy named Gaye, but a guy.
- Have you checked? - What do you mean?
- Have you had a look? - A look at what?
She's got bollocks. - What?
- Bollocks. - What's that?
I can't tell you right now. We're on the air.
Let's continue. Taylan, there are hardly any balls left.
We're down to the last four.
Let's see who Taylan adds to his team.
- Deniz. - Deniz is on Taylan's team.
Irfan, just give us her. You can have this one.
All I ask is for her. And take this away.
Make herjoin us. - You're one down right now.
Pick another ball, Recep.
I'm going get that girl. I've got my eye on her.
If I get her, we'll have four guys and two girls on the team.
Damn you, Serkan.
Serkan joins Recep's team. - I won't go along with this.
This last blow really hurt
I won't accept it. I'm drawing again.
I can't compete like this. It's not possible.
Look at that team, and look at this one.
If they're human, what are they?
It's a team straight out of Noah's ark.
This is like the Darica Zoo.
They're God's blessings, and they're God's wrath.
This won't do. You made up this lottery thing.
Damn whoever came up with the idea of lottery.
OK, we're down to the last two balls and the last two players.
Taylan, you'll be choosing your final teammate.
Let's see...
I'll pick the other one.
- Eda! - Eda is on Taylan's team.
I knew it, I just knew it!
I saw it, I knew what he was up to.
He threw the ball back. He should get the other one.
I picked all those balls just to get that girl.
Shake it and pull out a ball. I kept drawing to get her.
But he took a ball and looked at it.
When he saw that idiot in the ball, he threw it back.
I didn't open the ball, I said. Didn't you see?
How can you put it back without opening it? You've got to open it.
Didn't you pick this one first? - For goodness sake.
Take him. You picked him.
I put it back without opening it. - Let's drop it.
Now's not the time.
So it's either by hook or by crook, right?
Right, the last ball - Open it. I don't want to see it.
Ok, but there's only one contestant left.
We don't want him. Send him back to Turkey.
- Go home. - Recep, we've got to have the same...
...number of players on each team. - Damn it all.
Just send us to our island. Leave us with our fate.
We're sending Taylan's team...
...to the blue island and Recep's team to the red island.
Get going.
Gather round. Form a line.
I've got a welcome speech for you. Gather round.
Right. First, welcome to this lovely island.
Now let's get one thing clear.
I'm the king of the island. We need to agree on that.
Now, that doesn't mean I decide everything...
...and get what I want... Never.
I believe in freedom of thought.
I support democracy. Everyone is free to think what they want.
We have freedom of thought and democracy.
You can say what you want. I'll listen to it all...
...pass it through my filter, and make the final decision.
What I say, goes. It's that simple. There's only one administrator.
I can't run this place if you all do what you want.
There's one ruler. It's that simple. Does anyone have any objections?
- What a bunch of nonsense. - Hey! Braveheart
Quiet. Don't be so jumpy? Anyone else?
No, everything's fine.
We'll move on to number two. Oome here.
This pocket-size Hercules will be my right hand man.
If you abuse, mistreat or betray him in any way...
...you'll have done the same to me.
And I'll come after you. Understood?
Understood.
Ah, next. Geriatric, you, fatso, you and you, Braveheart...
...fan out across the island. Find all the fruit and coconut you can...
...taste it and bring it back here if it's edible.
OK, we'll handle it.
You two, go deep into the jungle. Gather all the...
...bamboo, wood and grass you can find and bring it here.
Oonstruction materials. See? - OK.
You and I will do the building.
What is the first thing to be done on a deserted island...
...since the first Turkish tribe?
What's wrong with you guys?
I'm here with an army of morons.
Shame on you. Shelter.
Build a shelter. We're going to build a shelter.
OK, scatter. Motion, synergy. Oome on, energy.
Oome here. Oome here.
- Yes. - You think I'm carrying my bag?
Why do I have you? What have an assistant?
Lift it, lift it.
To the left, shift it to the left.
Whoa, that's it.
Ok, let's see. Secure it. Go over there.
Secure it. That's it.
Brother, it's amazing.
I used Mimar Sinan's dome technique.
The hot air goes up and it stays cool below.
Wow, it's real showy. - Thanks, dude.
Yes, it's a beauty. Good job.
It's amazing, brother. - Thanks.
That's all we've got, guys.
We've got as much as we don't have.
You, pair of idiots. Night's coming. Get a fire ready.
I'll come and check, OK?
You, go count the coconuts.
Tell me how many there are. Understood?
Record them in the inventory. You're In charge of the Treasury. Run.
You, drop everything you're holding.
I'll explain the sleeping arrangements. Oome closer.
Right. We need a certain sleeping arrangement.
Why? To protect against outside threats.
While we're sound asleep and defenseless...
...the fleas nipping at our butts, the outside enemy is wide awake.
There might be a treacherous attack on us.
That's why the sleeping arrangement is so important.
I made a big doorway on purpose.
Why? Because that's where Aslihan is going to sleep.
- Why me? - You're nice and wide.
- Just take a look at yourself. - OK, mine's wide too...
...but I'm the brain team.
You will sleep in the doorway.
If a psycho starts hanging out here, you'll be first.
First, your belly will make him stop. You see?
Wolf, jackal, cheetah. If an animal sees you it'll pause first.
Oh no, there's something bigger and wilder than me.
- More of an animal. - That's it.
But you are. The animal will be scared.
If I were a wolf I'd be scared.
Let's say it doesn't run away.
It would start eating your boobs first.
It would rip out your intestines.
So who's the second person we sacrifice?
- Who? - Necati.
Why me? You're always playing with me.
Of course I am? Who better than you.
Your foot's in the grave as it is. You'll sleep here.
You'll be second in the line of defense.
That's what war is.
You send the easy pickings up to the front lines.
You, dude.
You'll watch out for any danger creeping up from behind.
- Oh really - Yes, really.
You'll sleep there, in the very back.
I'm thinking of having the two idiots sleep crosswise.
Understand? Me and Ibo will sleep right in the middle.
Oause we're the brain team.
What did Mustafa Kemal Atatürk do? He declared Ankara the capital.
Why? Oause it's right in the middle. We're sleeping in the middle.
Brother, I counted. There are 45 coconuts.
What do you mean, 45? I counted 53 coconuts.
Go count again, you moron.
I always double check. Why?
A good commander always does. Never trust even your right hand man.
- Right. - Uh-huh.
Keep your eyes peeled. Be sharp and agile.
OK get to it. Take off your shoes.
Take off your shoes! Off go the shoes.
- OK we took them off. - Of course you did.
Let me put this here.
- What's wrong with him? - Who does he think he is?
Do this, do that. This way, not that way.
Sleep, rise, eat this, not that. - What a maniac.
He's a bandit. Let's send him off the island.
I didn't catch that! Are you talking behind my back?
I can hear everything. I've got ears everywhere.
What kind of dance is that?
Idiots. Didn't I tell you to make a fire? You are dancing here!
We're making the fire of Anatolia. - We tried but we couldn't light it.
What do you mean? It's getting dark. You can't even light a fire...
Idiot. Move away.
I'll have to do this too.
I built the house, I found the food.
I'll light the fire, too.
Stick the xxx right in.
Rub it like this.
When there's a spark I'll show you the quick way to get it going.
When you see a spark, say, "A spark." OK?
- OK. - "A spark."
Get to it.
Tell me when there's a spark. - OK.
There's a spark.
It flared up good. Make it burn good.
Don't expect to come over here and fart all the time. I'm only human, too.
You really got it going. Sure I did.
Learn how and you can do it yourselves.
Make the flames burn higher. Don'tjust stare at it.
This is getting to me.
I don't like my spot. I really don't like it.
I hate where I'm sleeping.
Shhh.
Are you awake?
Move over you idiot.
Move over.
You're right next to me, and it's hot as it is.
What's this all about. What are you doing?
Look, he's squeezing my tit.
I'm going to break his hand.
Sleep the right way. Hey. Sleep the right way.
Oh my god. Oh boy.
You're so shameless. I'm here sleeping and you're pressing up against me.
You're so rude! Act your age. Pervert
- Why would I press against you? - That's what you're doing.
And you're humping me, too.
- What's going on? - He's humping me.
- He's pressing up on me. - We're trying to sleep here.
Sleep another time. They're pressing up against us, I tell you...
...and you say you're sleeping. Get up Halil Ibo, we're going.
I can't sleep with these pervs. Get up, we're going.
Perv! Damn you.
Perv! - Oan you believe it?
You think someone my age is going to put up with that, Ibo?
I came here, honorable and pure.
How could this happen? Stretch out here, OK.
- Have a peaceful sleep. - Thanks, brother. You too.
Now, I've turned my back on you.
I don't want any funny business, Halil Ibo.
You can trust me, brother.
Recep.
Recep?
- Don't move. - What is it?
There's a crab. Don't move.
- A crab, where? - On your face.
Where?
Ah, a crab! - Brother.
- Let me get it. - Ah, a crab!
Welcome, friends.
We've gathered here for our challenge.
This is your first challenge on The Island.
We've prepared a package for the winning team.
I contains a large supply of...
...all kinds of food. From tea to sugar...
...and from rice to pasta.
And that's not all.
We've also included an assortment of tools to make your tasks and
...life on the island easier.
First I want to turn to the team leaders...
...before we start What will they say...
...about the island and the game?
Taylan, let's start with you.
Irfan Bey, we've slept well and feel rested.
We're full of energy now.
We've formed friendships.
Let me send my condolences to the red team.
They haven't got a chance. We'll wipe them out.
Who are saying you'll wipe out? I'll break your nose.
- But Irfan Bey... - Just a moment.
Just a moment. We don't allow that here.
Please, I'm asking you. Please refrain from...
The team leaders look ready to me.
A round of applause as Taylan and Recep step up to the hammers.
- Ready, Recep? - Irfan, I have a question.
- Yes, Recep? - Oan I throw two hammers at once?
Like the Turkish warriors of old.
There's no reason you can't if you want to.
Thanks. I'll try it that way.
OK, here we go.
Yes! That's how it's done. That's it. That's how you do it.
What happened? Your mouth's hanging open.
All that boasting of yours. Now what happened?
Throw it. Now it's your turn.
Let's watch you do it.
Irfan, he's spoiling my concentration.
Please don't distract each other.
I cleared my sinuses, that's all.
Is that a bird?
What happened? Did you miss? What happened?
Look closely...
I don't even have to look. I can aim while I talk to you.
Yes! That's the way!
That'll show you.
High five, high five.
Red team 1, blue team zero.
Now for the second contestants.
Halil Ibrahim and Deniz.
Oome on. Show them how it's done.
What kind of throw was that?
Deniz hit it!
Ah-choo!
I swear, I'm catching a cold.
Oome on, throw it.
That's it! That's it!
Red team!
- Gaye missed. - Is that any way to throw?
What kind of throw was that?
- Eda hits it again. - She throws like an Amazon.
Hit it like a man. It's right in front of you.
Eda hits it. Red team 2, blue team 1.
Nice bikini. The top's nice, too.
We're at a critical point. The teams are tied 7-7.
The winner of this challenge takes home the prize.
A round of applause as Aslihan and Simge take their places.
Excuse me Irfan. I'd like to say something.
- Go ahead. - Our teammate Aslihan...
...hurt her shoulder. I'll compete in her place.
- Aslihan, are you injured? - Not at all. I'm just fine.
- I can compete. - Hey, your injured.
- No, I'm not. - Yes, you are!
You're saying you're not injured? That your shoulder is fine?
She's badly injured. Her shoulderjoints are worn out.
What are trying to? I'm not injured.
You were born crippled. Get a load of this, would you?
She's a cripple from birth. She's an Angus cow.
Her mother didn't bear her. Her mother imported her.
She's a tick away from morbid obesity.
She's an Angus, obese, morbidly obese.
She's right on the edge. She's not healthy enough to play.
Oh, and you're thin as a rake!
Recep, we're talking about a lady.
Ohoose your words more carefully.
You have a bad shoulder, right?
- Your shoulder's injured, right? - What are you doing?
- Aren't you injured? - No, I'm not. I'm going to play.
Then go ahead and play.
Let's hear it for Aslihan and Simge as they take their places.
I'll ask for a reckoning.
- Aslihan hits it. - Good for you.
Who'd have thought it. Bravo.
- Simge misses. - Off you go, babe.
Oome on, Aslihan. Let's see you throw.
Aslihan throws is two for two.
Good for you. I'm a slave to that belly of yours.
I'm a slave to your sweaty boobies.
Let me kiss those boobies. - I've had it.
Really, good job.
Simge misses again.
Hit it and you'll get a special prize from me tonight.
- Just shut up. - Lf we get the prize, I'll give you a prize.
Shut up. - OK.
- Aslihan misses. - Damn it. Idiot.
- Why can't you throw right? - Shut up.
Your arm's so meaty you can't even lift it, of course.
Stop talking. I can't concentrate.
Screw you and your concentration.
Hippo!
- Simge hit it! - Now that's a woman.
Wearing her bandana, Oalamity Jane.
Angus, it's 2-1. Throw it and end this.
- Shut up. - OK, I'll talk real nice, cutie.
I'll talk sweet to you, honey lips.
Shut your mouth.
- Aslihan missed. - God damn it.
Throw straight. The tile's right there. Why can't you break it?
- You brown cow. - Just shut up.
I talked straight, nothing. I showed affection, nothing.
Should I talk rough? Should I roar like a beast?
- Simge hit it! - No way, man.
- Tie score. - This can't be happening.
Whoever hits it, wins. - You're a lady like a destroyer.
Oome on, you're like a tank. - Shut up!
Oome on. Nobody can stop you. Hit it.
- Aslihan missed! - Damn you. How could you.
One after another. Why can't you hit it, you fool?
When it's right in front of you? What happened?
Is your hair tie too tight? Is it cutting off the blood to your brain?
If Simge hits it, the blue team wins.
Simge throws it!
Damn it! This is terrible.
This is just awful. How could this happen?
The blue team takes the prize.
Get away from me. I'm upset.
We'll go hungry cause of you. - The Blue Team!
Get out of here! This is terrible.
It's just the worst.
How many days have we been gnawing on coconuts.
We're turning into coconuts.
And they're not filling.
Should I go have a look in the jungle?
I might find something else.
We looked everywhere. There's nothing else there.
How do you know! Have you studied geography?
I didn't mean anything. Why are you mad?
Hunger's getting on my nerves. Don't make me even worse.
- Sorry. - Button it.
- Pardon me. - Button it.
Let's go walk through the jungle.
We have to find something else than coconuts.
I'm fed up with coconuts all the time.
I'm fed up and famished. I'm going to pass out on the spot.
We shouldn't eat things we don't know about.
What could we not know?
It's your typical jungle.
Nature shares her bounty here in the jungle.
Let's have a look round.
Ah! What's this?
It looks like cucumbers but...
It's your typical tropical cuke.
A tropical cucumber.
What would cukes be doing on a tropical island?
Oukes grow everywhere, idiot. They just need watery soil.
Here, eat it. A farmer's cuke
- I'm not eating it. - Take it. It's from your brother.
- I'm not eating anything I don't know. - Son, it's from your big brother.
It could be poisonous. You shouldn't eat it either.
I wish you hadn't.
Oh, it was juicy. It was great. Have one.
No thanks, not for me. - Have a bite.
I didn't like the way it smelled.
I'm telling you to eat it!
- Go on. - I don't want to refuse you...
...but I really can't. - Well don't then.
Get the machete.
I can't believe you didn't have any.
I don't want any. Insisting won't change that.
Are you OK?
The Earth moved.
I told you not eat those cukes.
You've been poisoned.
It's really bright, isn't it?
It's dazzling.
Oome and sit down. - Oome on.
I feel terrible. Get me some water.
I'll be right back.
When did the sky turn pink?
And the sea is purple.
The trees are moving in on me.
The trees are moving in.
I could skip to the other side.
Is that a gorilla?
Is that a rotisserie chicken?
And it's steaming.
I've going to take a bite of thigh.
What are you doing? - Help.
Let me go!
Leave me alone!
My foot! He's eating my foot!
Welcome.
- Hello. - Thank you.
We're here for an elimination challenge.
Someone from today's losing team will say goodbye...
...to the dream of winning 500,000...
...and will leave the island.
This is a critical challenge.
I'd like the first contestants to take a step forward.
Are you ready?
Oome on, boy! Oome on!
Oome on. Oome on, guys.
Run, run, run!
The red team is ahead and got the first ball.
Recep and Halil Ibrahim are up.
The competition is fierce.
Halil Ibrahim has fallen. - Why'd you fall overboard?
- Damn you. - I didn't mean to.
You're splashing around. Swim over here.
- I don't know how. - God damn you.
The blue team is coming. They're almost finished.
I don't believe it. The one person I had faith in.
- They're finished. - The blue team won.
- We just watched them finish. - Brother.
What's that? It's a shark! Help me.
What's that? - Please help me.
- A shark! - Help me!
Be careful! Please...
- Get away. - Help me.
What are you doing? Be careful.
- Get away. - I'm swimming away.
Be careful.
Oome here, right to me.
Good evening. - Good evening.
This is the first elimination round on The Island.
We'll be sending home a contestant from the red team.
We were all terrified by the canoe competition...
...that took place earlier today.
Let's have a round of applause for Recep, who escaped unhurt...
...and is sitting among us now.
Thank you. Don't clap. Thank you.
And now comes the excitement of the elimination round.
The two contestants with the most text messages will be granted immunity.
It is our viewers who will decide which contestants are immune.
Our contestants will take turns writing the name of the person...
...they vote off the island. Recep is first.
OK, Necati.
I respect your age and considered you to be an older brother on the team.
We had good times and bad. We shared a lot.
Until that black day.
When in the middle of the night, while I was completely helpless...
...you latched onto me from behind, and humped me...
...proving what a pervert you are.
May God damn you. Get lost and leave the island.
I don't want to see you here anymore, you sick man.
Get off the island. You were useless anyway.
You're old and you're disgusting.
Now get lost.
Halil Ibrahim.
Let's see which two contestants get the most text messages.
Who? Who are they?
Recep.
Another Recep.
Damn it. How shameful.
Necati.
Someone jokingly wrote 'pervert'.
It's not a joke, it's a note.
Another Necati. 2-2.
Recep.
Damn it. Did you write that?
Why all the long faces?
A great big Recep.
Shame on you, Aslihan.
- Another Recep. - Shame on you all.
It's crime, it's a sin. Stabbing me in the back.
Tell me to my face if you have a problem.
You'll see, I'll still be here and in your face.
We now know the contestant to be voted on in the text messages.
The voting by text message is now open.
After a short break we'll be back...
...and learn who was eliminated.
Did I make it?
Irfan. Did I make it? - Pardon?
- Who won? - Won what?
The text voting.
The voting's just begun, Recep.
I know that, but who won?
I won't know until the results are notary authorized, Recep.
What's all this about a notary?
Oome one. You can't do that to me.
- Do that? - Who's the notary, Nihat Beyan?
- No. - Who is it?
- Our own notary. - You've been saying that for years.
Notar this, notar that. You'll say there's a notar when I'm up there.
Tell me who won. You know the results.
We're live, the commercials are ending. - Who won?
- I don't know. Sit down. - Oh, come on.
I swear I don't know. We're about to go live...
- I'm so excited. - Me, too.
Irfan, do you know?
We're now back after a short commercial break.
And the moment has arrived.
Thank you. A big thanks to you all.
It's time to announce who will be the first person...
...to leave the island this year.
Irfan, can I say something? - Of course, Recep.
I've got something to say.
I have a name for those who smile to my face and plot behind my back.
It's slimy and dishonest.
It's dishonorable.
Recep, let me remind you that we're on the air.
I'm choosing my words carefully because we're live.
It's slimy and dishonest.
It's being a dirty dog.
- That's going too far. - The message was received.
Received by registered post.
Registered and prepaid. By all of you.
Right then.
If Necati has something to say...
- Oan I add something? - Go on.
I know our esteemed public
...always sides with the underdog. I've been wronged.
The public stands with the wronged. Long live our people.
OK. That's quite a slogan.
So, I now open the envelope.
Hurry up and open it.
What does it say?
Who? Who is it? Tell us.
This evening, leaving The Island and the dream of winning the...
...500,000 lira prize, is the contestant... - Who is it?
...whose name I now announce.
- The person leaving The Island... - Who is it?
...is unfortunately...
Who is it?
- Necati. - That's it. Yes!
Right on. The public made the right choice.
The public did it again.
The people have spoken the truth once again.
Get going. Get lost. Take your torch and go.
We can heave a sigh of relief. - Oongratulations to Recep.
Thanks. God bless you.
Our condolences to Necati.
Not from me. He can piss off. He can go straight to hell.
Necati, say farewell to your friends.
Oome here.
Necati is leaving the island with his torch.
I pocketed his glasses.
Our first elimination night has ended.
I wish you success until the next one.
And I send the red and blue teams back to their islands.
Look at them. Like lamb fish.
I'm king of the ocean, and of the seas.
And king of the land King of all realms.
Good for you, brother. You caught some big fish.
I sure did. They'd come in at 10-12 kilos.
- Oh, you caught fish? - Yes, I did.
You really went for it.
At the sight of two fish you've started sucking up to me.
But you were fine with writing my name last night? No fish for you!
As if we need your fish. I hope they're poisonous.
Don't curse me with that big body of yours.
Just look at them. They've got to be poisonous.
No, the more colorful the fish, the more delicious.
What's with all the envy?
With all the calculations?
Fine, do what you want. Bon appétit.
It'll be delicious of course. Now get lost.
Fine then. We're going.
It's normal for Aslihan to say it...
...but if Gaye says they're poisonous. They really might be.
If you don't trust me you can piss off too.
How can you say that? - Like this: You can piss off.
You misunderstood me.
I teach you to fish and look at what you say.
I know fish, sonny. I'm not some know-nothing.
My name's Recep Ivedik, got it?
First you prod the fish like this, OK?
You check its face, its eyes. Are the eyes full of life?
Are the eyes cloudy?
You see? My finger goes right in that's how fresh it is.
You slap it in the face. Look.
Then you put it on the table.
You study the fish. You massage its belly. You see?
Then we slit its belly.
You slit it like this.
You open up its belly.
Your hand goes right inside.
Look, like this.
I swim in the sea, I'm a free fish.
I swim in the sea, I'm a free fish
It says, as it gets speared in the head. You follow me?
Like this. Done.
Let's clean it now. Look, look.
Look at those scales. - Huh?
- Look how the scales fell off. - Right.
You could toss a handful at your sweetheart, like rose petals. Right?
- Would it do any good? - Of course it would. Why not?
She'd fall madly in love. Women love beastly men.
Never forget that. We've gone from fish to this.
The hairier a man's body the more irresistible he is to women.
Got it? Women get all dolled up.
Puff up like a turkey.
Men put on their own show.
Look at my body, look at my body.
Look at it, look at it. Do you understand?
You know those matadors in Spain?
Go there and you'll see all the ladies chasing after the matadors.
You sure will. They're all trying to sleep with a matador.
I saw it myself. That's how it works.
- Brother? - What?
Your hand.
Ah! My God! What happened to my hand?
It suddenly turned into a paw. It's an animal's hand.
My hand's in bad shape.
What are we going to do?
Back home we'd put some ammonia on it.
Where can we find ammonia on this island?
They say pee contains it. - Pee?
- Urine. - Pee on my hand.
Pee on it, Halil Ibo. Pee on it quick.
Pee.
Where are you pissing? Do it on my hand.
Man you've got a lot of pee.
You pissed on my hand 10 times and we washed it with seawater.
- It's still not normal. - But the swelling's gone down?
It has, but it sure smells bad.
Hold this. Give me that.
This is why I took his glasses.
I'm going to reverse the lens.
I rigged up a telescope to spy on the other island.
I saw his glasses dangling from his pocket...
...and gave him a hug to lighten his load.
Let me see.
Ah! They're having fun over there.
Wow, wow.
There are the three horsemen.
They're cavoring like dolphins.
Like colts, like mares.
It's bombastic and fantastic.
What kind of compassion is that. A fruit basket full of all things.
- Oan I see? - Just a second, sonny.
Ah, the mysteries of this world. What wonders thou hath wrought.
Oh my, she's doing suppersaults.
Well, well, well, she's doing suppersaults.
- Oan I have a look? - Hang on a second.
I'm looking at something.
Oh, the sweet life.
The picture of contentment. A corner of paradise.
Want a look?
- Oan I? - Go on.
I tested you, and you failed.
Who are you to look when I'm here? - I'm sorry.
Why the long face?
- I miss Tugçe. - Who's Tugçe?
- My fiancée. - You've got a fiancée?
Uh-huh.
Look at you. When's the wedding?
If fate allows, when I win the competition.
So you won't have a wedding. - Why not?
Because I'm going to win. - So be it.
May the lovers be united.
OK, if I win I'll throw you a modest...
...not at all expensive, wedding.
- Really? - I promise I will.
Thanks, what can I say?
I'll do it. I consider it a duty. I'm like a big brother to you.
I have known love, too. I have experienced fickle love.
Who did you love?
A woman named Sibel. - What happened?
- I couldn't tell her. - Why?
I was all ready to tell her, after handing her the marbles.
When she said she was engaged I bottled it up inside.
You've been through a lot. - Of course I have.
I'm an animal on the outside but a baby on the inside.
- That's you, alright. - A real baby.
- Shall I sing a folk song? - Go on.
Don't lean against the pear tree.
Don't trust tongues of sugar.
Enough! We're sleeping over here!
OK then! Go back to sleep!
You'll be sleeping all winter, for three months.
So what if you miss one night? Bear. Angus.
She knows not the language of love. She knows nothing of the heartstrings.
They've spoiled the night. Their hearts are coated with butter.
Hello, everyone.
Hello.
Today we will say goodbye to a contestant from the losing team...
...after we play another elimination challenge.
This is the foam challenge.
It looks funny but is difficult.
First, everyone competes alone...
...and then with a partner.
Do you have any questions?
Good. The first contestants can go to the staring line.
The blue team won.
A girl passed you How can a dude live that down?
We're at a critical juncture. The blue team is up 2-1.
If the blue team wins this round they win the challenge.
See what happened to us?
If we lose again they win.
But if the red team wins it will be a 2-2 tie...
...and couples will compete.
The team leaders can go to the staring line.
Oome on, Recep.
Taylan, you'll win.
The team leaders are ready. The competition is fierce.
Oome on, Recep. Recep!
Good job. Way to go, Recep.
Oome on.
2-2.
That's it! - Good job.
I'm here to bury fake Hercules.
I'm here to bury fake Oonan the Barbarians.
My name is Recep Ivedik. And that's that.
Oongratulations to the red team. Taylan and Eda from the blue team...
...and Recep and Gaye from the red team will now compete.
Take your places.
- Irfan? - Yes?
I hurt my leg in the last contest.
I don't want to strain it worse.
I'd like to withdraw if possible.
What's that? No, that's impossible.
- You'll finish it out. Right, Irfan? - What happened to your leg?
- It hurts. - There's nothing wrong with it.
- Please. - That leg is just fine.
It's perfectly healthy.
Recep, you'll have to compete with a female...
...so we'll pair you with Aslihan since Gaye is injured.
No way. That's impossible. No, Irfan.
Don't say that It's out of the question.
I can't compete with her as my partner.
That would be great, Irfan.
It'll be nice and fun.
It's impossible, Irfan. Don't we have to slide?
Won't we be tied together? - Yes.
What will we be tied with?
We'd need a towing cable.
There's no rope strong enough.
I can't do it. Not with her.
Irfan, I'll compete if I have to.
She's so eager to slide in cream.
Why doesn't production give her a few boxes of cream...
...and let her lather up and slide all she wants?
This is a contest. It's impossible.
Will the couples please proceed to the staring line?
Just look at this. It's all your fault.
Are you ready?
Look, we need some acceleration...
...and you'll go like a truck whose brakes have failed.
- Momentum? - You don't even know the word?
Velocity. Speed. Rate of change.
Don'tjump the median into our lane.
What if I jumped straight onto you without the median?
I warned you earlier. No fighting.
Let's concentrate on the game. Are you ready?
Pull me!
Pull me? You should have jumped there.
We were anchored. What did I tell you?
This will never work...
Speed, I said. Acceleration. Just look at us.
That's not an ass it's cushion.
Pull me instead of talking.
It's always a struggle with you.
Damn you.
The blue team won.
We couldn't even make it to the end.
Irfan, will you untie me?
Will you untie me?
I'm going to cry. Will you untie me?
- Good evening. - Good evening.
We're sharing the excitement of another elimination.
As you know, a member of the red team...
...will be leaving us tonight. But before we proceed...
...I'd like to turn to the team captain, Recep.
Recep, you had a troubled, unhappy performance today.
Would you like to tell us what happened?
Irfan, I feel terrible.
I don't want to talk. I'm so bummed out.
As you see, the nerves of the red team are frayed.
So let's keep this short
What are you looking at? - Look straight ahead.
I'll bust yourjaw.
What are you doing?
Irfan, I feel bad as it is and he's making faces at me.
Let's not make provoke each other, Taylan.
Thank you.
Then it's time to begin the elimination process.
Recep? We're beginning the elimination vote.
You'll each write down a name, staring with Recep.
Look dumbo, I don't have a personal problem with you.
I like you as a person, and think you have a good heart
But I've had it with you.
With your bugs and dirt, your lice and mud.
With even that peculiar way your skin smells.
With the minutes of sleep you steal at night.
I've had it up to here with your non-stop snoring and grumbling.
I wake up to your snores and I am ambushed by your farts.
You unleash them all night long.
I'm sick of living with you. I'm sick and tired.
It's time for you to go. Leave this place.
Get lost and go. We don't want you on this island anymore.
Scram. Get out of here.
Go to the devil for all I care.
You're a disgrace to the team. You're no good at the games...
...or at anything else. I've had it up to here.
Halil Ibrahim.
Enough. I don't want you on this island for another second.
We have no peace, day or night.
We lose the games because you keep talking.
I think you should leave.
I'll keep writing your name as long as I'm on this island.
I'm tired of being called 'dude' and 'hadji'.
Enough.
Who'd you write? Who?
Recep.
Huh! - Serkan.
Arif.
Aslihan. - That's it.
Recep.
The last one.
The person written here will compete with...
...Recep in the text voting.
I assume this is Aslihan But it's written as 'Asilhan'.
I wrote Asilhan on purpose.
- But you meant Aslihan. - No, I meant Serkan.
Irfan, of course I meant Aslihan.
OK. The two contestants are clear.
It's Recep against Aslihan.
Our viewers can begin voting by text message.
- Irfan. - Yes?
- Oan I say something? - Of course, Recep.
I have a request to make...
...of my beloved public who are wise in all things...
...Irfan.
Remove this virus, this tumor, from the island.
It's a crying shame.
She's made life a living hell. I'm suffering here.
May the public save me.
Recep, let's not manipulate the public just before the vote.
It's not manipulation. It's raw emotion. I'll finish up now.
My people, I'm calling on you.
Save me. This girl will gnaw me away to nothing.
At night, I worry she'll bite my ears or gnaw away at my guts.
May the public remove this tumor, this virus, from the island.
Out off the cancerous finger. Enough already, enough.
Right.
I'm sure the message reached its target.
If it did there's no problem.
As I told you a moment ago...
...voting by text has begun. As the viewers text we will have...
...a short commercial break and then find out who's been eliminated.
If I lose this I'll jump right into the fire.
If that cow beats me I'll make a roast lamb of myself.
Watch your mouth. What kind of talk is that?
Shut your trap. Button it.
We're going live. Get ready.
I'm even more excited now I'm beside myself.
OK, friends. We're together again.
We continue The Island live, from where we left off.
The excitement of elimination night.
Text message voting is now closed.
We're preparing the envelope containing the name of...
...the person leaving The Island.
If the notary is finished, hand me the envelope.
- Thank you. - I've never seen this notary.
- What's that, Recep? - What?
- You said something? - Yeah, I did.
- What? - I've never seen this notary.
- You're fixated on the notary. - Yes, I am.
Papers come and go but I've never seen this notary.
This is a deserted island. Where could he be?
Does he wander the jungle at night?
- The notary's in Istanbul. - How do you get cerification?
We have a live feed. He tells us.
A crew member writes down the results and puts them in an envelope.
If my aunt had a mustache she'd be my uncle.
If granny had a beard she'd be grandpa.
What are you looking at? - Turn and look straight ahead.
- What are you looking at? - Turn round.
I'll bust yourjaw. - Just try it.
I'll get you thrown off the island.
Friends.
Disgusting guy. - Recep, what are you doing?
- I hocked a loogie. - We're on the air.
Oh, I didn't realize, Irfan.
I thought commercials were on.
OK, Recep. I'm opening the envelope.
Open it. Why do you explain everything you do?
You're some kind of life-shortener.
I'm taking the papers, I'm opening the envelope.
I'm beginning to read. Just read it already.
Who was voted off?
We're presented with an interesting situation.
The two contestants have nearly the same votes.
- Oh no... - The person leaving the island...
...has lost by a hair.
If it's a hair, I won.
Friends.
As the result of text voting...
...the person leaving the island the dream of...
...the 500,000 lira prize...
Are you reading a receipt or what? Read it faster.
Friends, that person is...
...Aslihan. - That's it. That's it.
The public got it right again.
Thank you, Turkey.
With our public we will continue to advance.
We'll make great progress.
They identified the microbe. Thank you.
- Yes. - I'd like to address the public.
- Go right ahead. - I must deplore our people.
- Why? - Lf that Angus and me...
...had almost the same votes, shame on the public.
Send a few more text messages.
How could I be at her level?
Shame on you, I deplore the public.
You can now bid farewell to your friends.
We are sending you off The Island.
I was sick of all of it.
- What? - I was sick of it.
OK, I wish you all good luck.
I am sending the red and blue teams back to their islands.
The team leaders are ready. At the sound of the whistle...
...you'll add the first 20 kilos.
OK, Recep. You won. You can drop it now.
He won but he's still holding it. And he dropped it.
Burak.
Recep won. Recep takes the prize.
Deniz, you can say farewell.
We now have one less person on The Island.
Another interesting celebration from Recep.
The blue team has 4 people left, the red team 3.
Recep won.
The blue team has 3 people left, the red team 2.
That means that from this moment forward...
...the rules stipulate that with 2 people left on each team...
...we merge the teams and you compete as individuals.
Tomorrow we'll have a party to celebrate the merging of the teams.
I'll have some of that chicken, too.
I'm going to have a lot of it.
And a little spaghetti.
And a little Greek salad.
This is what I dreamt of.
I bit that girl for this.
You've ruined the whole meal.
You took it all for yourself. We're going to eat, too.
You put your hand in the pasta. You did such gross things.
Sort yourself out.
You've been eating with your hands for a month and half.
And now you play the gentleman?
He keeps looking at my plate.
You do whatever Recep does.
You eat what Recep eats.
Try to be a little original.
- Take it easy. - Here, eat it all.
Have some chicken from there.
Gnaw on that.
Do you want some, too? You'll be hankering for some.
And a little spaghetti.
A little salad and garniture.
You need a balanced meal.
Something from the 3 food groups.
A protein, a carbohydrate, a vegetable. Salad.
Eat a balanced meal and you'll stay fit and healthy.
- What's your name? - Eda.
Eda, nice. I'm Recep Ivedik.
- This is Halil Ibo. Say hi to big sis. - Hi, big sister.
Big sister? You're both older than me.
What's your birth year?
- I'm '7 too. - Really? You're '87 too?
I'm '87 too.
We record our births a little late in the village.
They don't register it straight away.
That's because 2/3 of us are born morons.
So the family waits, overwhelmed by grief.
Some are born three-headed.
We had one with eight arms, Necmi the Octopus.
It keeps happening. Some are half-man, half-goat.
We record those births at the Ministry of Rural Affairs.
We call him 'Goatboy'.
But as the poet said, 'You're only as old as you feel inside.'
What the poet means to say is that you might look old but how...
...you feel is what's important.
How old do you feel?
- 85-90. - Why?
Life wore me out. Life has trampled me.
Poor thing. I feel for you. - I feel for you.
Eda, I see you're deep in conversation. You must have a lot in common.
Did you hear a buzzing sound?
I heard something like a fly or a mosquito.
OK, friends! Welcome.
It's game time at the team merger party.
I've got a great game for you.
And the name of the game is: Limbo!
It's a simple dance game We have two verical bars.
And a horizontal pole. All you do is go under the pole.
We lower the pole a notch each time you do. It's simple.
Let me demonstrate.
Music!
Explain it so it makes sense! You're wobbling all over the place.
Ok. It's easy. You pass under the pole.
Easy, you say. I haven't beaten anyone up for one and half months.
But I'm about to explode. Get out of here. Get lost.
It's simple, Taylan.
If it's so simple, Recep, let me make you cry uncle.
- You... make me cry uncle? - That's what I'm going to do.
Oome on, let's do it.
- Are you ready, Taylan? - I'm ready.
Start the music.
Bravo, Taylan made it. It's Recep's turn. Oome on, Recep.
It's easy at this level.
I'm staring the music. - Play it.
Music!
Bravo, Recep! Great!
Now we lower the pole a notch.
Hang on. Lower it two notches.
- Two notches? - Two, two.
We're lowering it two notches.
Just a minute.
Oan he lower it like that?
If he wants to.
OK, then I want to lower it two more notches.
- Two more? - Two more notches.
Recep is lowering it two more notches.
Be careful you don't hurt yourself.
Lower it another one. We've got a wisecracker. Down another notch.
- Another notch? - Lower it one more.
We're lowering it another notch.
Recep, you'll wind up in the hospital.
- Lower it another one. - Are you sure?
He's egging me on. Take it down another notch.
OK, we're lowering it another notch.
Now one more notch.
- Oan you pass under that? - Let's say I do.
- How will you do that? - That's none of your business.
I can't get under that. I can't lay down under that pole.
You go first, then I'll go.
- OK, I'm doing it. - OK, pass under it.
The contest is heating up.
Oan Taylan pass under it at this height?
Music!
Taylan fell! Taylan fell!
Taylan fell!
It's not possible.
No human could pass under that.
Look at the shape I'm in, and I couldn't.
How can he do it with that big belly and fat ass of his?
I'll make it. I'm telling you I will.
If he makes it I'll bray like a donkey.
That's quite a dare. Things have heated up even more.
You'll bray like a donkey if I pass under that pole?
- I'll bray like a donkey. - Right here, in front of everyone?
In front of everyone.
Well then, I'll lower it another...
...notch from where he lowered it.
Unbelievable. What a challenge. It could be a world record.
So Recep, you're saying: That's not how it's done...
...this is! - That's exactly what I'm saying.
I'm throwing down the glove. I'll show you, I'm saying.
- Recep, are you ready? - Play the music.
Music!
- You're incredible. - Amazing!
It's a limbo world record.
You're amazing, Recep. Bravo. Oongratulations.
You get the Mr. Limbo trophy!
- Today I'm Mr. Limbo. - Bring the trophy.
Hear it one and all. I'm Mr. Limbo.
It's a nice trophy. Thank you.
I'll keep it forever.
What happened? You said I wouldn't make it.
You said my ass was too fat?
You promised to bray like a donkey. Go on then, bray.
Recep, that's just a figure of speech.
No it's not, buddy.
Bray like you promised. Here, in front of everyone.
There are girls here, Recep. You're going too far.
There are female donkeys, too. Let me hear you bray.
OK, I'm braying.
What was that. Are you a donkey or an ambulance?
A donkey brays like this.
Put some soul in it.
Good for you. Everyone needs a donkey like you. What's your name.
- Taylan. - Taylan the pylon. Screw you.
That was a great contest.
Mr. Limbo. - Shut up. That's enough.
Halil.
Halil Ibo. Halil Ibo.
Halil, my boy. Halil Ibo.
- What happened? - Get up. We've got a mission.
Mission? What time is it? - A secret mission.
Get me pots and pans, and rope. No questions. Run.
Oome here.
What are we doing at the toilet in the middle of the night?
Our mission has two phases.
- What mission? - Soldiers don't ask questions.
You're a private.
I'm a general. Don't make me shout.
I'm sorry.
Open that. Pull up the seat.
Take the pot. Open it wide.
I'm going to throw up.
Boy they shit a lot.
Lay down right here. Lay down.
I'm going to lower you down. OK?
I want you to fill the pot with whatever's down there.
- I'll throw up. - No, you won't.
Let's go.
- Dive in. - I can't believe we're doing this.
- Are you filling it? - I'm elbow deep.
Fill it up good. Plaster that pot good.
Pull me up.
Get up, quick.
Nice.
Oome with me. Run.
What do you see over there?
- A game. - What kind of game.
- What game is that? - Tomorrow's grand challenge.
See those boxes up there...
They're full of sawdust.
We'll stand under them and hold them shut for as long as possible.
Well, what's this for then?
I want you to fill the first box with it.
We'll make sure Taylan gets that box. And the fun begins.
How can you get Taylan there? - I'll arrange it.
Go to the one on the far left by the bushes. OK?
Fill the one on the far left.
- The first one. - Right, the first one.
I'm here, OK? I'll be the look-out.
If I hear anything, I'll run off. I'll run away without a word.
Kudo. Oome here.
You put that in front of me.
Put it on the other end so it doesn't block my view.
OK.
Quick, take these 5 things over there.
Take these, quick.
- Right, that's good. - Great. Set them down.
OK, go and get ready and tell me...
...when the contestants arrive.
What's wrong, brother?
You filled the no. 1 box, right? You're sure of that.
Right, the first one.
The one closest to the bushes? We agree on that?
Yes, the one on the far left.
OK, go to your place. You're my little tiger.
Hello, friends. - Hello.
We've got a thrilling competition today.
We've got the excitement of both an elimination...
...and a challenge today.
The person who loses the first challenge will be leaving The Island.
Then what will the remaining contestants do?
They will be competing for the grand prize...
...and the winner will go home with the prize, my friends.
Irfan, can I say something? - Yes, Recep? Go on.
Irfantino, I want to thank you.
As the number one contestant...
...I'll be competing at the no. 1 spot. - Yes?
To show goodwill and friendship...
...I'd like Taylan to take the no. 1 spot and I'll compete as no. 2.
Why do that? You take it.
Why should I? You take no. 1, you idiot.
Has something hit you on the head?
Look, I'm saying this for your own good, if you want to.
Well, I really have to say that staying here...
...on the island together has done you good.
You've surprised me.
Arrange things as you like.
- Go on then. - Thanks.
They say something will fall on our heads...
You'll soon get a better idea of what they're saying.
- What do you mean? - I have no idea.
If you're ready and holding the shutters tight, let's begin.
Everyone's using two hands. I'm the only one using one.
- Why? - What's it to you?
Think you can tell me qhat to do? I'll do what I want, Irfan.
5 contestants are holding their shutter closed.
Nobody's showing signs of strain.
But as the minutes pass it will get more difficult.
That kid on the end is about to let go.
- Oenk? - Yes, Oenk.
Oenk! Are going to tank?
I got a cramp in my leg. - Oramps are terrible.
You might have a stroke. Just let go.
Oenk let go!
Oenk is out.
- Halil? - Yes?
- What are you doing? - Don't make me talk.
- Halil? - Yes?
Never mind. I won't say it. Forget it.
Brother.
- Oh no. - Halil Ibrahim let go.
Three contestants remain. For the prize.
- Eda. - Yes?
Do you shave your armpits with a razor or a machine? They're so smooth.
Irfan. Recep's spoiling my concentration.
Please, don't get personal during the competition.
Personal? I said armpit. Did I say crotch?
What's personal about her pits. Everyone can see them.
She's on her way out. Your beauty is enough for you. Let go.
Leave gracefully.
Eda let go.
- There are 2 contestants left. - Yes.
Taylan, it's just you and me.
I'm fine. I could stay here for another two hours.
Let's see who's made of what. - I'm fine and dandy.
Let me know when we stop in Afyon.
Hours have passed.
Look, Irfan. I've developed five of my appendages.
- What are they? - Two arms, two legs. And my...
- Hey, quiet. - Head, my head.
Your mind is always below the belt. My head.
A chocolate fountain awaits you.
Are you finding it tough?
I can't take. I can't believe this guy can beat me.
Let go, let go.
- Oh no! - And Taylan let go!
Oh no! Sawdust came out.
Halil, you said you filled that? - I swear it, I did.
Damn you, Halil. You messed up bad.
- I swear I filled that one. - I asked you.
Did you say the first one, or the second.
- OK, Recep, you can let go. - Irfan, I won, didn't I?
- Yes. - OK, you can all go.
You already won, let go.
I'm not letting go. Don't wait for me. Go off. I'm going for the record.
You already broke the record.
Don't make me talk. I'm running out of strength.
- Just let go. - Irfan Bey, he better not.
- Let's intervene. - I can't take it, Irfan. I'm shaking.
- Just let go. - God! I can't hold it anymore.
- Just let go. - God help me.
What's this?
Damn it!
I'm covered with the island's shit.
What kind of champion is this?
Thanks a lot.
I showered in shit cause of you.
I took a shit shower.
Rich people's shit is different.
You can get the stain out but not the smell.
I swear I put it in the right place.
Like shit you did. If you had, it would have spilled out on Taylan.
- And not on my head. - I swear on my mom and dad.
Don't mix them up in this.
What are you doing here? - Washing laundry. Oan't you see?
Recep, I've got some dirty socks and underwear. Oould you give them a scrub?
Very funny. Take her and scram. Get out of here.
I'll pierce you right in the heel.
- Maniac! - Beat it!
Set this up. Set this up.
Even water rests, but never the enemy.
Set it up further along.
Set that up there.
Welcome to the grand finale of The Island.
Thank you.
The moment we're all been waiting for ...
...has finally arrived.
One of the four contestants you see here today will be...
...The Island champion this year and walk away with 500,000.
As you see, all the contestants eliminated so far are here...
...to cheer you on.
I'd like to thank you all. Thank you, friends.
Let's begin the first challenge of the final day.
We begin with Recep and Taylan.
- What are you looking at? - What is it?
- Mind your business. - Shut up.
Now you see it, now you don't.
Nobody gets past me.
Bang bang! 2-0.
And Recep wins 3 out of 3.
I give from the right, and from the left.
And one right up the middle.
It's 1-1.
And Halil Ibrahim won.
And 3-2. Recep went from 2-0 to 3-2 to win.
It'll be a pleasure to watch the ladies compete.
- Shut up. - Get lost. Button it.
The women are competing.
And 3-0. Taylan gets another point with no losses.
Taylan caught it.
Winning 3-0, Taylan gets another point.
Eda caught it! Eda's up 2-0.
Not like this, Irfan. I can't concentrate.
I can't put forward my best game.
- Why? - Because of those boobies.
When the baton pops up they're right in front of my eyes.
- Put on a T-shirt - Keep your eyes to yourself.
I'd have come topless, Irfan. I'd have come naked if I'd known.
If I do this I won't see them.
- Doesn't he have to lower his hand? - You turned out to be a bad egg, Eda.
And Recep caught it!
Eda says farewell to The Island.
We're clapping for Eda, friends.
We move on to the second of the 2 games for The Island final.
The excitement mounts.
Oh! Oh! Oh boy.
Sorry.
And Recep wins!
And that's it.
Recep, what are you doing?
And Taylan wins!
Halil Ibrahim says goodbye to us this round.
I'm still in the game. Don't let it bother you.
- Good luck. - Lf I win...
...it'll be like you've won. Understand?
Like Turkey in WWI.
When Germany was defeated we were considered defeated, too.
We applaud Halil Ibrahim as we send him off the island.
Olap for the boy. Give the boy a hand.
- Don't gesture like that. - He was your rival.
- Why should I clap for him! - Shameful prick.
We've all been waiting breathlessly for this moment.
This is the final and last game.
Two contestants who have been...
...Iocked in a fierce battle since they arrived on the island...
...now face off in the final.
That's right. The 500,000 prize...
...is just 3 penalty shots away in The Island championship game.
- Irfan? - Yes.
I want to say something. It's the end of the competition...
...and I'd like to make a speech. - Oertainly. Go right ahead.
I'm happy to see all our friends who were eliminated here.
I release them from all moral obligations they might have to me.
And I ask them to do the same.
Good for you, Recep.
- Bravo, Recep. - Thank you.
And I want to say something about Taylan.
His making it to the final is a great achievement.
There can only be one champion.
He'll be the champion of hearts, which is an achievement.
Taylan, would you like to respond?
I'd like to say something to Recep. - Please do.
You're in trouble. I played pro football for seven years.
I won't hurt you too bad, don't worry. - Look at him.
I played for seven years. Do you know what that means?
I'm talking about humanity. He's still talking about the game.
He's a slimeball. Pure and simple.
I take back what I said earlier...
...and will speak the only language he understands.
If he played for seven years, I played a lifetime...
...for Dinamo Güngören. - It looks to me like...
...the rivalry between these two had reached an all-time high.
And the final game will reflect that.
Taylan will take the first penalty kick. Recep will be goalkeeper.
Are you ready, Recep? - I'm always ready, Irfan.
- Taylan, are you ready? - I'm always ready, too.
May the best man win The Island championship.
Taylan scores. He's up 1-0 with his first kick.
Taylan goes to the goal.
Recep scores. - That's how it's done!
It's tied at 1-1.
- Are you ready? - Oome on.
Only a coward would fear you.
Taylan misses. - That's how it's done.
You're going to taste my paw.
The score is still tied but the advantage is Recep's.
And Recep misses!
Damn it.
Recep misses! It's still a tie, 1-1.
Stop showing off and go to the school.
Shut your face.
- Taylan misses again. - That's they way.
Recep saves and it's still a tie. Recep gets the last kick.
This is a critical moment.
If Recep makes it, he'll be this season's...
...The Island Ohampion. But if Taylan saves...
...we'll continue with extra kime penalty kicks.
I'll do it for you, kids.
I'll do it for you.
- Irfan. - Yes.
Oan we wear shoes?
Sure, but where will you find shoes now?
I'd like to use his.
Will it fit you?
Oould you give me those shoes? Your shoes.
I'll wear them for one round.
Just the shoes I wanted, Irfan.
I can do a toe-kick.
That's it! That's it.
I'm the champ! Yes! Yes!
They battled for days, weeks, months.
Someone would emerge champion.
The winner of the 500,000 prize
...and The Island championship is Recep Ivedik.
- What's this? - I brought your money.
- Oh my. - Yeah.
See. See.
Here's your nice shiny money.
You can count until morning.
Let that be a lesson to you.
I hereby turn over the field to our kids...
...using the gold scissors provided...
...to officially open this football field.
Here we go, in the name of God. May it be auspicious.
OK, you can all get in. - Yes, we're all in.
OK, did you take it?
Yes, it looks great. Enjoy it.