1
00:01:01,912 --> 00:01:03,384
Yay! Yay!

2
00:01:04,081 --> 00:01:06,253
- Rohan! Rohan!
- This is anarchy!

3
00:01:06,459 --> 00:01:07,966
Yeah!

4
00:01:08,086 --> 00:01:09,972
It was a stray bomb.

5
00:01:10,213 --> 00:01:11,934
Thank you, Adolf.

6
00:01:15,927 --> 00:01:19,107
<i>It was 1952, nine years later.</i>

7
00:01:19,348 --> 00:01:23,773
<i>I was waiting to be called up to serve
two years' conscription in the Army.</i>

8
00:01:23,894 --> 00:01:26,398
<i>I was 18.
I hoped they'd forgotten me.</i>

9
00:01:26,939 --> 00:01:28,909
<i>After all, we were easy to miss.</i>

10
00:01:29,025 --> 00:01:31,659
<i>We lived on an island in the River Thames.</i>

11
00:01:31,778 --> 00:01:34,329
<i>You had to ring a bell to reach us.</i>

12
00:01:37,702 --> 00:01:39,789
<i>I swam each morning at the same hour</i>

13
00:01:39,911 --> 00:01:42,469
<i>because a lovely girl
rode past on the tow path.</i>

14
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:46,306
<i>I promised myself that one day
I would swim across and meet her.</i>

15
00:01:46,644 --> 00:01:47,895
<i>But I never did.</i>

16
00:01:56,972 --> 00:01:59,476
Cut, cut!
Get him out of there.

17
00:01:59,679 --> 00:02:01,685
Dry him off.
Go again.

18
00:02:02,020 --> 00:02:04,274
Feeble, feeble.
Dry him off.

19
00:02:13,278 --> 00:02:15,047
- Cut.
- End board.

20
00:02:15,072 --> 00:02:16,792
Cut.
Get him out.

21
00:02:16,956 --> 00:02:20,365
<i>They did it over and over
until they got it right.</i>

22
00:02:20,998 --> 00:02:23,719
<i>That seemed much better than fife.
Where you only got one go.</i>

23
00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:29,345
That'll do.
Print it. That's a wrap.

24
00:02:29,951 --> 00:02:33,415
<i>We lived near the famous
Shepperton Film Studios.</i>

25
00:02:37,808 --> 00:02:39,149
Billy!

26
00:02:44,190 --> 00:02:46,231
I thought
they'd forgotten you, Billy.

27
00:02:47,110 --> 00:02:48,664
It's come.

28
00:02:48,778 --> 00:02:50,748
They'll have their work cut out,

29
00:02:50,864 --> 00:02:53,368
making a soldier of you, pipsqueak.

30
00:03:07,231 --> 00:03:08,483
We're locked in.

31
00:03:08,508 --> 00:03:10,359
It's only for two years.

32
00:03:10,385 --> 00:03:13,283
<i>Hands out of your pockets!
Get in three ranks!</i>

33
00:03:13,309 --> 00:03:15,230
<i>Get in step!
Left, right! Left, right!</i>

34
00:03:15,349 --> 00:03:19,110
<i>Left right! Left right!
Left, right! Left, right!</i>

35
00:03:19,477 --> 00:03:22,242
- Percy Hapgood.
- Bill Rohan.

36
00:03:22,481 --> 00:03:25,281
And Percy, this could be
the beginning of a...

37
00:03:25,401 --> 00:03:26,943
a beautiful fucking friendship.

38
00:03:27,523 --> 00:03:30,241
- Claude Rains?
- Humphrey Bogart.

39
00:03:30,532 --> 00:03:31,783
<i>Casablanca.</i>

40
00:03:39,936 --> 00:03:41,526
Big head, come here.

41
00:03:41,751 --> 00:03:43,175
You stand there.
Come round.

42
00:03:43,754 --> 00:03:45,557
Move.
Move.

43
00:03:45,673 --> 00:03:47,559
Get on the end.
On the end.

44
00:03:47,675 --> 00:03:50,938
Come here now.
Get in. Get in. Stand still.

45
00:03:52,055 --> 00:03:53,794
Right, put your berets on straight.

46
00:03:54,266 --> 00:03:57,315
Right, your berets, the cap badges
need to be above the left eye.

47
00:03:57,519 --> 00:03:59,489
What a pitiful bunch.

48
00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:01,321
Turn!

49
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,663
- Left, two, three, one!
- Right, two, three, one!

50
00:04:03,688 --> 00:04:04,948
Jesus!
What a rabble!

51
00:04:04,973 --> 00:04:07,666
Put your right arm up now.
Your right arm.

52
00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:09,666
You, big head, get on the end.

53
00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:12,378
Swap over with the ginger one.
Swap over.

54
00:04:13,036 --> 00:04:15,800
Put your arm up.
Arm's distance from the man on your right.

55
00:04:15,914 --> 00:04:17,302
Put it up now. Put it up!

56
00:04:17,416 --> 00:04:20,273
Look over your shoulder there.
Look over at the man next to you.

57
00:04:20,298 --> 00:04:21,889
Stand to attention!

58
00:04:22,171 --> 00:04:25,884
Slope arms!
Present arms!

59
00:04:26,096 --> 00:04:29,691
Shoulder arms!
Order arms!

60
00:04:30,164 --> 00:04:31,457
Stand still!

61
00:04:32,265 --> 00:04:34,151
About turn!

62
00:04:34,267 --> 00:04:35,608
Shh.

63
00:04:36,186 --> 00:04:37,858
Out of the way!

64
00:04:38,647 --> 00:04:41,595
- Stand still!
- What a bunch of wankers!

65
00:04:43,027 --> 00:04:45,522
You've got six weeks to shape up,

66
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:48,862
then off to Korea
to fight the might of the Red Army.

67
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:51,460
<i>You lot against the Chinese.</i>

68
00:05:00,086 --> 00:05:01,338
Shut up!

69
00:05:02,049 --> 00:05:05,229
- Go back to sleep, you arsehole.
- Put a sock in it.

70
00:05:05,467 --> 00:05:07,224
Fucking hell.

71
00:05:09,155 --> 00:05:10,496
Fuck you.

72
00:05:18,481 --> 00:05:19,952
Jane Russell.

73
00:05:25,531 --> 00:05:26,846
She was in my bed last night.

74
00:05:26,872 --> 00:05:28,675
I said, "Get out.
Too narrow for the two of us."

75
00:05:28,701 --> 00:05:30,832
Then she jumped into bed with me
and woke me up.

76
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,177
Left, right!
Left, right!

77
00:05:33,414 --> 00:05:35,005
Left, right! Left!

78
00:05:36,626 --> 00:05:39,391
About turn!

79
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:42,091
Left, right! Left, forward!

80
00:05:45,218 --> 00:05:47,853
About turn!

81
00:05:47,971 --> 00:05:49,977
Left, right! Left, forward!

82
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:51,985
Left, right! Left, right!

83
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:55,779
Left, right! Left, right!
Left, right! Left!

84
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:59,737
About turn!

85
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,789
Left, right! Left, forward!

86
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:06,082
<i>When we go! It right,
it was exhilarating.</i>

87
00:06:06,203 --> 00:06:09,217
<i>We were like a dance troupe.
Except Percy, who thought it was...</i>

88
00:06:09,331 --> 00:06:10,582
Shit.

89
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,757
Eyes right!

90
00:06:16,336 --> 00:06:18,756
Eyes front!

91
00:06:26,764 --> 00:06:28,057
Oh!

92
00:06:28,808 --> 00:06:30,279
Bastard! I've had enough.

93
00:06:30,449 --> 00:06:33,079
As soon as he's taught me how to do it,
I'm gonna kill him.

94
00:06:33,103 --> 00:06:34,704
"Murder is my favourite crime."

95
00:06:34,730 --> 00:06:37,043
- Who's that? Edward G Robinson?
- No, Clifton Webb.

96
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:41,035
Elbow. Elbow. Elbow.

97
00:06:42,185 --> 00:06:46,039
<i>When we finished the commando course,
Percy and I expected to be sent to Korea,</i>

98
00:06:46,064 --> 00:06:47,749
<i>or to teach others how to kill.</i>

99
00:06:47,870 --> 00:06:49,958
<i>But no, they made us Sergeant Instructors</i>

100
00:06:50,665 --> 00:06:52,343
<i>and we had to teach them how to type.</i>

101
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:56,297
A-R-M-Y!

102
00:06:56,420 --> 00:06:57,892
Space!

103
00:06:58,297 --> 00:07:00,267
Return carriage.

104
00:07:01,176 --> 00:07:05,233
You are slouching and slovenly!
Sit to attention!

105
00:07:06,974 --> 00:07:09,442
You will type at attention!

106
00:07:16,234 --> 00:07:17,955
Resume typing at the slouch.

107
00:07:20,405 --> 00:07:23,454
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

108
00:07:23,575 --> 00:07:27,419
The, T-H-E, space...

109
00:07:27,746 --> 00:07:32,676
quick, Q-U-I-C-K, space...

110
00:07:33,044 --> 00:07:38,431
brown, B-R-OW-N, space...

111
00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:42,098
fox, F-O-X, space.

112
00:07:42,304 --> 00:07:44,356
Return carriage.

113
00:07:44,473 --> 00:07:46,479
Do you know why you're here?
Yes?

114
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,356
Because you are the dregs.

115
00:07:48,477 --> 00:07:51,823
Because you can't shoot and you can't march.

116
00:07:52,523 --> 00:07:53,864
We get the dregs.

117
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,275
Well, your arses
will be glued to these seats

118
00:07:56,486 --> 00:07:58,657
until you can touch-type like girls!

119
00:07:58,683 --> 00:08:02,397
Your, Y-O-U-R, space...

120
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:06,884
arses, A-R-S-E-S, space,

121
00:08:06,998 --> 00:08:10,261
will, W-I-L-L, space,

122
00:08:10,375 --> 00:08:12,381
be, B-E, space,

123
00:08:12,503 --> 00:08:14,888
glued, G-L-U-E...

124
00:08:15,006 --> 00:08:16,559
What's your name, soldier?

125
00:08:16,674 --> 00:08:17,925
Private Kitto, Sarge.

126
00:08:18,259 --> 00:08:20,075
And why are you typing gibberish?

127
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,061
There's no point.

128
00:08:22,431 --> 00:08:24,612
You'll see the point
if I put you on jankers.

129
00:08:25,017 --> 00:08:27,188
It's all over, everything.

130
00:08:27,478 --> 00:08:29,779
Ah. Armageddon. Atomic war.

131
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,326
- It's inevitable.
- I agree.

132
00:08:32,609 --> 00:08:34,694
But while we're waiting,
learn to fucking type.

133
00:08:35,903 --> 00:08:40,578
T-O-U-C-H, type, T-Y-P-E, space,
like, L-I-K-E,

134
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:45,292
girls, G-I-R-L-S!

135
00:08:45,914 --> 00:08:47,529
Return carriage!

136
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,471
Oh, bother. Sergeant?

137
00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:52,219
I think I made a mistake.

138
00:08:52,588 --> 00:08:54,428
Okay, Henderson.

139
00:08:54,674 --> 00:08:56,644
You're the clown of the class.

140
00:08:56,843 --> 00:08:59,892
There's always one and it always ends badly.

141
00:09:00,388 --> 00:09:03,651
Just trying to type like a girl,
like you said, Sarge.

142
00:09:08,522 --> 00:09:09,910
And be proud.

143
00:09:10,024 --> 00:09:13,156
Remember, if a pen
is mightier than the sword,

144
00:09:13,228 --> 00:09:16,159
well, a typewriter can be
more terrible than a tank.

145
00:09:18,434 --> 00:09:21,234
You will conduct
the instruction of these soldiers

146
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:24,811
according to the manual
and properly dressed, Sergeant Rohan.

147
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,634
Your top button is undone.

148
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:29,017
You will be arraigned
before the company commander.

149
00:09:29,044 --> 00:09:30,295
What, for a button?

150
00:09:30,379 --> 00:09:32,182
Yes, for a button!

151
00:09:32,208 --> 00:09:34,260
For the want of a nail, a kingdom was lost.

152
00:09:34,467 --> 00:09:36,686
Discipline. Wars are won and lost...

153
00:09:36,803 --> 00:09:38,773
on buttons, sir?

154
00:09:41,935 --> 00:09:44,354
Insolence will be appended to that charge.

155
00:09:44,395 --> 00:09:48,156
Private Redmond, I instructed you
to remove these boxes.

156
00:09:48,223 --> 00:09:51,488
Will you explain why they are still
present and cluttering up the office?

157
00:09:51,513 --> 00:09:56,069
And you do not salute an NCO,
Private Redmond.

158
00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:58,837
Out of respect to you,
Sergeant Major Bradley.

159
00:09:59,035 --> 00:10:00,328
Spontaneous, like.

160
00:10:00,662 --> 00:10:01,913
The boxes.

161
00:10:02,956 --> 00:10:05,127
Excused lifting. Hernia.

162
00:10:05,876 --> 00:10:07,217
I have a chitty from the doc.

163
00:10:07,503 --> 00:10:11,051
Those boxes are empty, Redmond.
Empty.

164
00:10:11,715 --> 00:10:13,720
It's not the weight, Sergeant Major.

165
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:17,045
It's the act of lifting.
It's in the bending of the knees.

166
00:10:17,763 --> 00:10:19,270
I'll do it.

167
00:10:19,908 --> 00:10:23,124
Put that box down, Sergeant!
You're not an orderly.

168
00:10:28,396 --> 00:10:29,820
Right.

169
00:10:30,607 --> 00:10:33,953
Lifting is not specified.

170
00:10:34,528 --> 00:10:36,948
Implied, Sergeant Major.
Implied.

171
00:10:37,489 --> 00:10:39,756
Those boxes can be lifted
without bending the knees

172
00:10:39,781 --> 00:10:42,202
and I instruct you to do so.
Refusing to obey an order

173
00:10:42,286 --> 00:10:44,967
is a court martial offence!

174
00:10:45,081 --> 00:10:47,002
Fire!

175
00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:48,715
Fire!

176
00:10:52,255 --> 00:10:53,507
Fire!

177
00:11:12,398 --> 00:11:14,620
- Don't you hate being hemmed in?
- No, I love it.

178
00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:18,149
I could stomach it if it wasn't for Bradley.

179
00:11:18,174 --> 00:11:20,262
- We can't do much about that.
- Yes, we can.

180
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:22,111
- What?
- We set him up.

181
00:11:22,830 --> 00:11:25,085
Get rid of him. Bump him off.

182
00:11:25,207 --> 00:11:27,274
You haven't killed that other sergeant yet.

183
00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:30,964
- Good point. Let's find some girls.
- You're still a virgin, aren't you?

184
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,968
- No, no, no, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.

185
00:11:33,091 --> 00:11:35,392
No, I'm not.
I've kissed loads of girls.

186
00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:54,285
There. There.

187
00:11:55,532 --> 00:11:56,783
Sorry-

188
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:00,674
Shh.

189
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:31,282
Forget the unobtainable
and take what's on offer.

190
00:13:02,187 --> 00:13:03,444
We're in.

191
00:13:46,986 --> 00:13:49,490
- Oh.
- It was lovely to see you.

192
00:13:54,785 --> 00:13:56,376
Hello. Percy.

193
00:13:56,496 --> 00:13:58,583
- Sophie.
- Peggy.

194
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:00,048
Hi.

195
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:01,960
You coming? We're leaving.

196
00:14:03,212 --> 00:14:06,486
There was such pain in her eyes, Percy.
I think she needs help.

197
00:14:06,674 --> 00:14:08,062
Hold on.

198
00:14:08,436 --> 00:14:10,885
Don't get into that shit.
We're the ones who need help.

199
00:14:10,911 --> 00:14:12,155
Come on.

200
00:14:12,181 --> 00:14:15,608
Bill, this is the beautiful Sophie
and her lovely friend Peggy.

201
00:14:15,725 --> 00:14:17,232
Hello.
Are you shy, Bill?

202
00:14:17,351 --> 00:14:18,609
Mmm-mmm.

203
00:14:19,229 --> 00:14:21,779
Yes, you are. I just made you blush.

204
00:14:24,151 --> 00:14:25,823
- He's still a virgin.
- No, I'm not.

205
00:14:25,944 --> 00:14:28,116
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not. Shut up.

206
00:14:29,615 --> 00:14:30,924
Come on!

207
00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:33,370
We have to be in by 10:00!

208
00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:40,883
That's our dorm!

209
00:14:43,255 --> 00:14:44,975
Come on, girls. Faster.

210
00:14:45,549 --> 00:14:47,317
Come along now, girls. Inside, quickly.

211
00:14:47,651 --> 00:14:49,012
How fast can you run?

212
00:14:49,037 --> 00:14:51,941
- You two! Come on! Late again!
- Sorry, Matron.

213
00:14:52,056 --> 00:14:54,441
- Sorry, Matron.
- Go away!

214
00:14:54,809 --> 00:14:57,194
- Come along...
- Come on. Come on. Come on.

215
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,408
Come on!

216
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,041
I can't see shit. Higher!

217
00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:10,910
Come on!

218
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:19,878
Wow.

219
00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:22,996
We're talking maybe 20 student nurses
in varying states of undress.

220
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,727
You should see it.

221
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:27,476
Tits flying everywhere.

222
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,361
Two nurses dancing in the nude.

223
00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:34,566
Wow.

224
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:36,318
Come on, then, my turn.

225
00:15:41,401 --> 00:15:42,653
Higher...

226
00:15:43,111 --> 00:15:46,410
Higher... That's it.

227
00:15:46,866 --> 00:15:48,123
Good.

228
00:15:53,455 --> 00:15:54,707
I see no tits.

229
00:16:01,214 --> 00:16:02,721
It's Sophie.

230
00:16:10,808 --> 00:16:12,979
Wow. I see what you mean.

231
00:16:14,062 --> 00:16:15,485
What?

232
00:16:26,909 --> 00:16:28,677
What do you mean,
"You see what I mean?"

233
00:16:28,702 --> 00:16:30,542
Your girl, Sophie.

234
00:16:30,746 --> 00:16:33,843
The curve of that breast.
The pink nipple.

235
00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:35,430
Pressed against the window.

236
00:16:35,543 --> 00:16:37,679
You lying ponce.

237
00:16:37,879 --> 00:16:39,516
Yeah, right.

238
00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:42,060
Sophie.

239
00:16:47,431 --> 00:16:49,899
Don't let them get to you, Percy.

240
00:16:50,351 --> 00:16:52,071
They won't break me.

241
00:16:53,062 --> 00:16:54,865
We'll stick together.

242
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:56,905
Like shit to a blanket.

243
00:17:06,368 --> 00:17:08,005
Who's this malingerer?

244
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,433
- What's your name, soldier?
- Private Redmond, sir.

245
00:17:10,458 --> 00:17:14,003
- And why are you not saluting the officer?
- Excused saluting, sir. Hernia.

246
00:17:14,126 --> 00:17:16,393
Required to keep hand in pocket
to keep it in, sir.

247
00:17:16,418 --> 00:17:18,680
I know your type, Redmond.
You're a Skiver.

248
00:17:18,798 --> 00:17:22,017
Because you're an old sweat,
you think you have the measure of the Army.

249
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,914
Well, now you've me to contend with.

250
00:17:23,971 --> 00:17:26,272
I'll leave this in your hands, RSM.

251
00:17:32,771 --> 00:17:34,574
Right, this one.

252
00:17:45,494 --> 00:17:47,297
Every sergeant is a suspect

253
00:17:47,413 --> 00:17:50,925
and so is every soldier who has access
to the Sergeants' Mess.

254
00:17:51,209 --> 00:17:52,934
What do I want a clock for, sir?

255
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,871
Sure I can't even tell the time.

256
00:17:58,758 --> 00:18:01,855
That clock was given to one of
my predecessors by Queen Victoria

257
00:18:01,970 --> 00:18:04,307
after the Crimean War for valour.

258
00:18:04,681 --> 00:18:06,235
Valour!

259
00:18:06,558 --> 00:18:09,524
It has kept time in the mess
for a hundred years.

260
00:18:09,645 --> 00:18:12,908
Now some twit of a conscript has nicked it.

261
00:18:13,024 --> 00:18:15,076
Well, this is a closed camp.

262
00:18:15,443 --> 00:18:19,038
No one will smuggle a clock out of here.

263
00:18:19,739 --> 00:18:23,333
We've found it, sir,
in the back kitchen, being cleaned.

264
00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:35,802
Right, let's clear up this mess, Redmond,

265
00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:38,012
and I don't want to hear about your hernia.

266
00:18:38,134 --> 00:18:39,974
I'll get my broom, sir.

267
00:18:46,267 --> 00:18:48,189
They say he's ill, the King.

268
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:56,411
If that were so, Buckingham Palace
would issue a bulletin.

269
00:18:56,654 --> 00:18:59,240
It has not, so he is not.

270
00:18:59,574 --> 00:19:01,414
Do you have any family, Sergeant Major?

271
00:19:02,744 --> 00:19:05,081
No, you're married to the Army.

272
00:19:05,664 --> 00:19:08,382
That makes the King kind of like your dad.

273
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:09,918
Huh.

274
00:19:10,043 --> 00:19:13,721
That silly remark will result in
a charge of insolence, Sergeant Hapgood.

275
00:19:14,298 --> 00:19:18,521
I think he only meant it in the sense
that nuns are married to Jesus, sir.

276
00:19:18,636 --> 00:19:20,938
- I have a class.
- Me, too.

277
00:19:23,767 --> 00:19:25,772
Hey. Psst. Come here.

278
00:19:45,707 --> 00:19:46,965
What?

279
00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:49,754
Where did you get all these snouts?

280
00:19:49,931 --> 00:19:51,473
Lad in the NAAFI owed me a favour.

281
00:19:51,984 --> 00:19:53,740
Yours is a murky world, Redmond.

282
00:19:55,510 --> 00:19:58,939
You're my hero, Redmond.
Skiver par excellence.

283
00:19:59,221 --> 00:20:03,018
Yeah, well, skiving
is not a skill acquired overnight.

284
00:20:03,309 --> 00:20:06,773
You're only in two years.
Skiving takes longer than that.

285
00:20:06,897 --> 00:20:08,949
But you show promise, Percy.

286
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:12,348
And how would you define
your complete Skiver, Redmond?

287
00:20:15,531 --> 00:20:17,168
Put it like this.

288
00:20:17,742 --> 00:20:20,871
Army training brainwashes you.
When you're told to get out of a trench

289
00:20:20,895 --> 00:20:24,359
and walk towards a machine gun
that's shooting at you, you do it.

290
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,846
A Skiver will find a reason
to stay in the trench.

291
00:20:28,378 --> 00:20:30,882
You've got to be brave to be that cowardly.

292
00:20:32,549 --> 00:20:35,848
Wow. That is so profound, hmm?

293
00:20:36,596 --> 00:20:37,937
Yeah.

294
00:20:39,082 --> 00:20:42,022
- And how do you get on top of the officers?
- Find a weak spot.

295
00:20:42,265 --> 00:20:44,158
Like this young doc.

296
00:20:44,313 --> 00:20:46,069
Insecure, easy to con.

297
00:20:46,439 --> 00:20:48,824
I can get a chitty off him no bother.

298
00:20:49,025 --> 00:20:51,564
Everyone in the Army's
trying to get away with something.

299
00:20:51,695 --> 00:20:54,329
Find out what it is and play on it.

300
00:20:55,658 --> 00:20:58,078
Except our Bradley. A tough nut.

301
00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:00,495
He lives by the letter of the law.

302
00:21:00,621 --> 00:21:02,627
No weak spot? No chink in the armour?

303
00:21:02,916 --> 00:21:04,506
Not sure.

304
00:21:05,043 --> 00:21:06,633
Could be rage.

305
00:21:07,171 --> 00:21:08,808
He's a tinderbox.

306
00:21:09,506 --> 00:21:11,393
- I'll get him in the end.
- No.

307
00:21:12,217 --> 00:21:14,020
We'll do it together.

308
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,316
Hernia still playing up, Redmond?

309
00:21:22,937 --> 00:21:24,189
Yes, sir. Required to...

310
00:21:24,272 --> 00:21:26,527
Keep hand in pocket. Yes, we know.

311
00:21:26,650 --> 00:21:29,782
Well, take it out and salute properly.

312
00:21:32,823 --> 00:21:35,458
What infraction is it this time,
Sergeant Major Bradley?

313
00:21:35,742 --> 00:21:38,922
Disruptive behaviour
contrary to good order, sir.

314
00:21:39,288 --> 00:21:42,421
What is that?
Frolicking? Messing about?

315
00:21:43,126 --> 00:21:44,679
Not language I would use, sir.

316
00:21:45,003 --> 00:21:46,925
Reprimanded, Redmond.

317
00:21:47,255 --> 00:21:49,806
And Sergeant Major,
try to maintain discipline

318
00:21:49,925 --> 00:21:51,558
without resorting to company orders.

319
00:21:51,583 --> 00:21:53,838
It is tiresome. Dismiss.

320
00:22:00,102 --> 00:22:01,525
Improperly dressed, sir.

321
00:22:02,271 --> 00:22:04,074
How, Sergeant Major?

322
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,703
Did Sergeant Hapgood
come to work wearing pyjamas?

323
00:22:07,986 --> 00:22:09,237
Flies undone?

324
00:22:09,321 --> 00:22:10,958
Top jacket button, sir.

325
00:22:12,074 --> 00:22:14,459
Admonished, Sergeant Hapgood.

326
00:22:18,351 --> 00:22:20,966
What on earth is it this time,
Sergeant Major?

327
00:22:21,251 --> 00:22:22,544
Dumb insolence, sir.

328
00:22:23,711 --> 00:22:25,301
Dumb insolence?

329
00:22:25,788 --> 00:22:27,392
Dumb insolence?

330
00:22:28,508 --> 00:22:30,775
That hasn't been invoked
since the First World War.

331
00:22:31,106 --> 00:22:36,017
It's still an offence, sir,
under Section 83-A of the Army Act.

332
00:22:37,977 --> 00:22:40,231
So what did he do or not do?

333
00:22:40,646 --> 00:22:43,744
He refused to accept my criticism
of his work methods.

334
00:22:44,401 --> 00:22:45,652
Sergeant Rohan?

335
00:22:46,069 --> 00:22:49,425
Sergeant Major Bradleys insistence
that every letter of the law be enforced

336
00:22:49,449 --> 00:22:51,581
makes teaching these men
almost impossible, sir.

337
00:22:51,658 --> 00:22:53,995
- Guilty'?
- If silence is an offence, yes, sir.

338
00:22:54,344 --> 00:22:55,596
Admonished.

339
00:22:55,621 --> 00:22:58,302
May I remind you, sir,
that the relevant section

340
00:22:58,415 --> 00:23:02,426
demands a reprimand as the minimum
punishment for this offence.

341
00:23:03,671 --> 00:23:07,053
- Sir?
- The rest is silence.

342
00:23:12,055 --> 00:23:14,605
We have to stop him!
We have to bring him down.

343
00:23:14,724 --> 00:23:16,493
Charge him with something for a change.

344
00:23:16,519 --> 00:23:19,238
- It won't work. He lives by the law.
- Then let's kill him.

345
00:23:19,277 --> 00:23:21,864
- Murder is my...
- favourite crime.

346
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,405
We keep it simple.
Break into his quarters.

347
00:23:24,527 --> 00:23:28,490
You and Redmond hold him down.
I stuff a pillow over his face.

348
00:23:28,615 --> 00:23:30,837
Found dead in the morning.
No signs of a struggle.

349
00:23:30,862 --> 00:23:33,002
- Celebrations all around.
- I couldn't do that.

350
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:35,505
Why not?
The Army's training you to kill.

351
00:23:35,531 --> 00:23:37,334
Get some practice in.

352
00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:42,217
God. Have you got a better idea?

353
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:48,221
- Psychological warfare.
- What?

354
00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:51,111
Well, you know how he gets enraged
if his routine's disrupted.

355
00:23:51,278 --> 00:23:52,323
So?

356
00:23:52,349 --> 00:23:55,451
He does the Telegraph crossword
every lunchtime in the mess.

357
00:23:55,542 --> 00:23:56,694
Well?

358
00:23:56,743 --> 00:23:59,819
Well, one of us slips down mid-morning
and solves it. He'll go nuts.

359
00:23:59,941 --> 00:24:02,480
That's some leap from murder
to fucking up his crossword.

360
00:24:09,450 --> 00:24:12,583
This is your guide to hygiene in Korea,

361
00:24:12,704 --> 00:24:16,299
with nasty pictures about syphilis
and what it can do to you.

362
00:24:16,834 --> 00:24:20,180
We had that lecture
on our way to France in the war.

363
00:24:21,881 --> 00:24:27,137
The doc said, "So don't ruin your life
for 10 minutes of pleasure.

364
00:24:27,595 --> 00:24:29,066
"Any questions?"

365
00:24:29,180 --> 00:24:30,983
And one lad said, "Yes, sir.

366
00:24:31,099 --> 00:24:32,777
"How do you make it last 10 minutes?"

367
00:24:38,315 --> 00:24:41,364
While we're waiting,
take a few tips from an old sweat.

368
00:24:41,485 --> 00:24:44,998
Now, saluting.
This is what they tell you to do.

369
00:24:46,574 --> 00:24:49,292
Longest way up, shortest way down.

370
00:24:49,994 --> 00:24:53,043
Finish with thumb
pointing down trouser seam.

371
00:24:53,164 --> 00:24:56,379
Up, one, two, down, <i>two,</i> three.

372
00:24:57,544 --> 00:25:00,428
Well, you can make a statement
with saluting.

373
00:25:00,673 --> 00:25:04,055
This is the "fuck you, sir" salute.

374
00:25:11,810 --> 00:25:13,483
Silence!

375
00:25:16,147 --> 00:25:19,113
You are all about to posted to Korea,

376
00:25:19,735 --> 00:25:22,748
which is no laughing matter,
I can assure you!

377
00:25:26,701 --> 00:25:31,174
Sergeant Rohan will take the first
of three orientation lectures.

378
00:25:31,540 --> 00:25:33,960
Inciting disorder. See me in my office.

379
00:25:44,887 --> 00:25:46,228
Okay.

380
00:25:46,639 --> 00:25:50,650
This is a war between North and South Korea.

381
00:25:52,020 --> 00:25:54,986
The North, supported by China and Russia,

382
00:25:55,107 --> 00:25:57,527
the South by America and us.

383
00:25:58,569 --> 00:26:02,081
And General MacArthur
is in charge of the war. Was.

384
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,162
President Truman has just sacked him.

385
00:26:05,534 --> 00:26:08,799
MacArthur wasn't satisfied with driving
the Chinese back over the border.

386
00:26:08,824 --> 00:26:12,004
He wanted to invade China
and drop a few atom bombs on them.

387
00:26:12,542 --> 00:26:15,342
Wasn't he a hero
in the Second World War, Sarge?

388
00:26:15,796 --> 00:26:19,308
Well, yes, but like a lot of generals
in the history of war,

389
00:26:19,425 --> 00:26:20,848
he's probably completely nuts.

390
00:26:26,099 --> 00:26:29,694
Will I be typing out there, Sarge,
in a nice warm office?

391
00:26:30,227 --> 00:26:33,158
No, you won't, Henderson.
You're all on active duty.

392
00:26:33,398 --> 00:26:34,821
Even a nice gin like me?

393
00:26:38,612 --> 00:26:41,626
Shut up and let me tell you what to expect.

394
00:26:42,408 --> 00:26:46,169
Korea is pan of the war
between communism and capitalism,

395
00:26:46,412 --> 00:26:48,299
the so-called Cold War.

396
00:26:48,415 --> 00:26:51,879
And it is cold, bitterly cold,
where you'll be fighting.

397
00:26:52,877 --> 00:26:56,970
Unlike the Americans, you will not
be issued with special clothing.

398
00:26:57,757 --> 00:27:02,064
So get your mums to send you gloves
and jumpers and warm underwear.

399
00:27:03,389 --> 00:27:07,565
This is how we ate our grub in India.
Kills all germs.

400
00:27:07,769 --> 00:27:10,486
Never get Delhi belly
when your curry's this fiery.

401
00:27:14,318 --> 00:27:16,011
More curry for
Sergeant Hapgood, Redmond.

402
00:27:16,036 --> 00:27:17,294
No.

403
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,406
- No, please, please, please.
- No?

404
00:27:19,431 --> 00:27:22,860
Yes. Fill his plate, Redmond.

405
00:27:25,246 --> 00:27:27,298
Hapgood. Eat up.

406
00:27:28,291 --> 00:27:30,851
- Young pup like you needs his nosh.
- it's hot.

407
00:27:30,877 --> 00:27:34,638
No, you don't, Redmond.
Stay right here where I can see you.

408
00:27:35,132 --> 00:27:37,932
You can't skive in the mess
like you did up at the centre.

409
00:27:44,975 --> 00:27:48,238
Never thought
I'd live to see conscripts in my mess.

410
00:27:49,939 --> 00:27:51,446
Whew!

411
00:27:54,152 --> 00:27:55,992
No, you don't. Redmond, get back here.

412
00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:07,380
Sophie, I need to get something straight,
something Bill told me.

413
00:28:07,499 --> 00:28:10,003
I didn't believe him
because I knew you wouldn't

414
00:28:10,252 --> 00:28:13,385
but when he was looking through
the window of your dorm, did you...

415
00:28:13,882 --> 00:28:15,133
Did I what?

416
00:28:16,927 --> 00:28:18,178
Did you...

417
00:28:18,512 --> 00:28:19,763
Bare my breast?

418
00:28:19,930 --> 00:28:22,232
Yes. Did you?

419
00:28:23,058 --> 00:28:24,731
What do you take me for?

420
00:28:24,852 --> 00:28:26,406
'- Lying shit.

421
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,843
Hang on. How did you know
I was going to ask you that?

422
00:28:37,991 --> 00:28:39,545
Excuse me.

423
00:28:40,118 --> 00:28:42,254
I saw you at the concert

424
00:28:42,371 --> 00:28:44,008
I'm sorry. Forgive me.

425
00:28:44,123 --> 00:28:46,971
I don't mean to bother you.
It's just that...

426
00:28:47,084 --> 00:28:49,469
Stop apologising.
It's very unattractive.

427
00:28:49,587 --> 00:28:51,723
- Yes, well...
- You sat behind me.

428
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:55,186
I could feel your eyes boring into me.
What do you want?

429
00:28:55,301 --> 00:28:58,434
I'm sorry. I just couldn't get you
out of my mind.

430
00:28:59,681 --> 00:29:02,647
I'm Bill, Bill Rohan, stationed at the camp.

431
00:29:02,768 --> 00:29:04,524
Is it William or just Bill?

432
00:29:04,645 --> 00:29:07,493
Nobody ever calls me William, always Bill.

433
00:29:08,524 --> 00:29:10,243
I prefer William.

434
00:29:10,652 --> 00:29:13,749
Come in, William.
You deserve a drink for courage.

435
00:29:13,989 --> 00:29:15,875
So you live here?

436
00:29:15,991 --> 00:29:18,755
No. No, it belongs to my aunt.

437
00:29:19,244 --> 00:29:21,166
I'm just here having a nervous breakdown.

438
00:29:21,288 --> 00:29:23,375
Or so they tell me.

439
00:29:23,790 --> 00:29:27,552
It basically involves lying
on a couch talking about my childhood...

440
00:29:33,301 --> 00:29:36,398
- Am I boring you?
- No, no, sorry.

441
00:29:37,264 --> 00:29:39,601
Usually I'm studying in Oxford.

442
00:29:40,184 --> 00:29:44,574
- How old are you?
- Twenty. No... Nearly 20.

443
00:29:45,272 --> 00:29:46,862
And you?

444
00:29:46,982 --> 00:29:48,869
An older woman.

445
00:29:49,318 --> 00:29:50,611
Twenty-four.

446
00:29:52,446 --> 00:29:55,033
Don't expect anything from me, William.

447
00:29:55,909 --> 00:29:57,712
I'll disappoint you.

448
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:11,477
Is he coming back?

449
00:30:11,675 --> 00:30:13,515
Oh, he went chasing after a girl.

450
00:30:13,636 --> 00:30:16,816
And we're stuck in a milk bar
with nowhere to go.

451
00:30:22,855 --> 00:30:26,034
There's a concert tomorrow.
May I take you to it?

452
00:30:26,442 --> 00:30:28,779
I don't know. Maybe.

453
00:30:29,112 --> 00:30:32,327
Perhaps I'll see you there,
if I feel well enough.

454
00:30:33,365 --> 00:30:36,498
As long as it's not Chopin.
Too melancholic.

455
00:30:38,204 --> 00:30:40,292
- Goodnight, William.
- Goodnight.

456
00:30:50,927 --> 00:30:53,727
What's your name?
I didn't ask your name.

457
00:30:58,226 --> 00:31:01,690
You fool. You stupid fool.

458
00:31:10,489 --> 00:31:11,831
Goodnight, soldier.

459
00:31:12,951 --> 00:31:16,083
Why haven't you supervised
this Sergeant Rohan?

460
00:31:16,204 --> 00:31:18,007
Do you check his lecture notes?

461
00:31:18,415 --> 00:31:20,819
You may recall, sir,
you have not been very supportive

462
00:31:20,843 --> 00:31:22,848
in my attempts to discipline these men.

463
00:31:23,086 --> 00:31:25,671
I'm not talking about
your petty infringements!

464
00:31:25,696 --> 00:31:26,948
This is deadly serious!

465
00:31:28,634 --> 00:31:32,431
This boy, Private Kitto,
has refused to go to Korea

466
00:31:32,555 --> 00:31:35,319
because Sergeant Rohan
says it's an immoral war.

467
00:31:35,433 --> 00:31:37,023
Kitto. Sounds foreign.

468
00:31:37,310 --> 00:31:40,739
The boys father
is a left-wing Labour MP

469
00:31:40,856 --> 00:31:43,241
and intends raising it in Parliament.

470
00:31:43,359 --> 00:31:47,500
Everyone's jumpy since Burgess and
Maclean defected to Russia last year.

471
00:31:47,696 --> 00:31:50,164
It's going to be all over the papers.

472
00:31:50,449 --> 00:31:54,162
We have to take swift action
before MI5 come down on us.

473
00:31:54,287 --> 00:31:56,181
We have to be seen to be doing something.

474
00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:57,845
- Do what?
- Well,

475
00:31:58,124 --> 00:32:01,090
suspend Sergeant Rohan
from duties at once, I suppose.

476
00:32:01,211 --> 00:32:02,967
Pending...

477
00:32:04,214 --> 00:32:06,754
There must be something
we can charge him with. But what?

478
00:32:07,301 --> 00:32:10,481
May I suggest Section 35
of the Army Act, sir?

479
00:32:10,596 --> 00:32:12,815
Seducing a soldier
from the course of his duty,

480
00:32:13,098 --> 00:32:14,522
a court martial offence.

481
00:32:14,642 --> 00:32:18,355
- Seducing a soldier?
- From the course of his duty.

482
00:32:24,152 --> 00:32:26,081
- They charge you?
- Seducing a soldier.

483
00:32:26,107 --> 00:32:29,209
- Seducing a soldier?
- From the course of his duty.

484
00:32:29,408 --> 00:32:32,458
I'm suspended, on house arrest
pending court martial.

485
00:32:36,957 --> 00:32:38,215
The major's gutless.

486
00:32:38,334 --> 00:32:40,589
Bradleys a fucking snake.

487
00:32:40,712 --> 00:32:42,847
That RSM is a sadistic shit.

488
00:32:45,592 --> 00:32:48,631
You know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to steal his fucking clock.

489
00:32:48,721 --> 00:32:50,445
Don't do that, Percy. They'll find it.

490
00:32:50,470 --> 00:32:52,737
You can't get it out of the camp.
They'll have you.

491
00:32:52,762 --> 00:32:55,496
With Redmond working in the mess,
there's a way to do this.

492
00:32:55,603 --> 00:32:57,827
I was supposed to meet that
girl at the concert tonight, Percy.

493
00:32:57,852 --> 00:33:00,210
- Would you go and explain for me?
- What's her name?

494
00:33:00,235 --> 00:33:01,083
I don't know.

495
00:33:01,109 --> 00:33:03,331
You don't know her name
but you were in her house?

496
00:33:03,361 --> 00:33:04,461
- Have you got her phone number?
- No.

497
00:33:04,487 --> 00:33:07,163
Just go to the concert
and call out, "Message from William."

498
00:33:07,201 --> 00:33:09,450
- Who's William?
- That's what she calls me.

499
00:33:27,637 --> 00:33:29,358
Come on.

500
00:33:31,475 --> 00:33:32,726
I'm coming.

501
00:33:33,213 --> 00:33:36,896
Time for a game of billiards, isn't it, lads?
Oh, what, you learn how to play?

502
00:34:10,268 --> 00:34:12,949
Percy, you're seriously deranged.

503
00:34:22,822 --> 00:34:24,246
Come in.

504
00:34:25,951 --> 00:34:27,837
- Did you get it?
- Get what?

505
00:34:28,287 --> 00:34:31,004
- You know what.
- No, I don't.

506
00:34:45,096 --> 00:34:46,911
Okay, Percy, you did it.
Now put it back.

507
00:34:46,936 --> 00:34:48,775
- Never.
- Then I will.

508
00:34:52,062 --> 00:34:54,364
No, you won't!

509
00:35:18,842 --> 00:35:20,728
Redmond, where is it?

510
00:35:21,303 --> 00:35:24,601
It was definitely here last night
when we knocked off, sir.

511
00:35:24,722 --> 00:35:27,107
- Osbourne?
- Yes, sir. It's always here.

512
00:35:27,225 --> 00:35:30,523
We know it's always here,
but it's not here now. Where is it?

513
00:35:30,771 --> 00:35:32,443
Don't know, sir.

514
00:35:35,401 --> 00:35:38,616
You are a tripe hound, Redmond,
a notorious Skiver.

515
00:35:38,738 --> 00:35:42,275
When I get to the truth of this, if I
find you there at the bottom of a barrel,

516
00:35:42,301 --> 00:35:45,385
in the slime where you belong,
you will wish you had never been born.

517
00:35:45,410 --> 00:35:48,573
You will curse your mother
for bringing you into the world.

518
00:35:56,507 --> 00:35:58,441
<i>All ranks return to billets</i>

519
00:35:58,467 --> 00:36:00,722
<i>and stand by your beds.</i>

520
00:36:01,429 --> 00:36:03,150
<i>All ranks return to billets</i>

521
00:36:03,264 --> 00:36:04,937
<i>and stand by your beds.</i>

522
00:36:06,018 --> 00:36:07,821
Barrack C, clear.

523
00:36:10,439 --> 00:36:12,491
All gates secured, sir!

524
00:36:15,944 --> 00:36:18,574
- Has this one been searched?
- Yes, sir.

525
00:36:18,697 --> 00:36:20,085
Shit.

526
00:36:27,624 --> 00:36:28,876
Shit.

527
00:36:34,841 --> 00:36:36,680
- What about this one?
- Not yet, sir.

528
00:36:56,989 --> 00:36:58,283
Tenpence ha'penny.

529
00:36:58,408 --> 00:37:00,828
Oh, God! All right.

530
00:37:02,369 --> 00:37:05,134
Sixpence, sevenpence, eightpence,

531
00:37:05,248 --> 00:37:08,048
ninepence, tenpence, ha'penny.

532
00:37:20,390 --> 00:37:23,819
You two, search that block there.
You two, that hut.

533
00:37:24,102 --> 00:37:26,154
You, search that hut. Come on.

534
00:37:29,148 --> 00:37:30,620
Where are you going, Hapgood?

535
00:37:30,734 --> 00:37:32,620
To my quarters, sir, to stand by my bed.

536
00:37:32,736 --> 00:37:34,373
- Do you know why'?
- No, sir.

537
00:37:34,488 --> 00:37:36,256
Know anything about my clock, Sergeant?

538
00:37:36,376 --> 00:37:38,631
I thought you found it.
Being cleaned, wasn't it?

539
00:37:38,754 --> 00:37:42,539
Do not trifle with me, Hapgood.
Now, get a move on! Go!

540
00:37:44,374 --> 00:37:47,458
- All clear here, sir.
- I've found nothing, sir.

541
00:37:53,174 --> 00:37:54,847
This room's clear, sir.

542
00:37:58,806 --> 00:38:00,147
No, nothing, sir.

543
00:38:04,896 --> 00:38:07,032
Out. Tip 'em out now.

544
00:38:15,407 --> 00:38:18,083
<i>All soldiers
whose quarters have been searched</i>

545
00:38:18,577 --> 00:38:21,128
<i>must return to their assigned duties.</i>

546
00:38:22,832 --> 00:38:26,676
<i>- No soldier must leave the camp...
- There you go!</i>

547
00:38:27,379 --> 00:38:30,558
Sergeant Major,
this search is most disruptive.

548
00:38:30,674 --> 00:38:32,145
We must resume training.

549
00:38:32,259 --> 00:38:36,056
That clock is somewhere in this camp
and I intend to find it.

550
00:38:42,228 --> 00:38:43,984
Open the gate. Open.

551
00:39:01,708 --> 00:39:03,380
Sit down, Sergeant.

552
00:39:04,710 --> 00:39:07,047
These gentlemen are from MI5, Sergeant.

553
00:39:07,171 --> 00:39:09,592
They've been studying your lecture notes.

554
00:39:09,716 --> 00:39:12,184
What were your sources
for these lectures, Sergeant?

555
00:39:12,469 --> 00:39:14,723
<i>The London Times, sir'".</i>

556
00:39:15,138 --> 00:39:16,645
All this is in The Times?

557
00:39:17,278 --> 00:39:18,530
Yes, sir.

558
00:39:19,101 --> 00:39:23,112
Even this, "How the United Nations
Bungled the Border Demarcation"?

559
00:39:23,898 --> 00:39:25,489
Yes, sir. The Times man was there

560
00:39:25,609 --> 00:39:27,994
and made a detailed report.

561
00:39:29,445 --> 00:39:32,669
You say that General MacArthur
may have been insane.

562
00:39:33,199 --> 00:39:36,712
Not me, sir. The Times.
It's in the cuttings.

563
00:39:37,079 --> 00:39:42,169
Never mind The Times.
Do you think Korea is an immoral war?

564
00:39:42,418 --> 00:39:43,670
No, sir.

565
00:39:43,961 --> 00:39:46,809
- You think it's a moral one?
- No, sir.

566
00:39:47,215 --> 00:39:49,552
- Then what is it?
- A tactical war.

567
00:39:49,843 --> 00:39:51,444
As I explained to the men,

568
00:39:51,845 --> 00:39:53,851
part of the Cold War
between the two systems.

569
00:39:53,876 --> 00:39:57,174
And which of these systems
do you favour, Sergeant Rohan?

570
00:39:59,186 --> 00:40:01,025
- Neither.
- Neither?

571
00:40:01,146 --> 00:40:03,531
- Neither.
- So you're not a Communist?

572
00:40:04,150 --> 00:40:06,404
No, sir, nor a capitalist.

573
00:40:06,861 --> 00:40:09,447
- Sitting on the fence.
- Yes, sir.

574
00:40:10,365 --> 00:40:13,331
So why do you think
this soldier refused to go to Korea

575
00:40:13,452 --> 00:40:15,338
after attending your lectures?

576
00:40:16,746 --> 00:40:19,926
It may have been the freezing
conditions I warned them of, sir.

577
00:40:22,795 --> 00:40:24,634
Wait outside, Sergeant.

578
00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:32,434
You can forget the court martial.

579
00:40:32,556 --> 00:40:35,060
He didn't seduce the man.

580
00:40:35,184 --> 00:40:37,569
Didn't even flirt with him.

581
00:40:39,105 --> 00:40:42,902
With respect, sir, did you not
find his answers subversive?

582
00:40:43,317 --> 00:40:45,618
Of course he's up to no good.

583
00:40:45,986 --> 00:40:49,914
But should we indict <i>The</i> Times,
the bible of the ruling class?

584
00:40:50,033 --> 00:40:51,586
You'll have to ride this one out.

585
00:40:52,744 --> 00:40:57,217
We have to charge the boy,
Private Kitto, for refusing an order.

586
00:40:57,583 --> 00:40:59,261
Major, my advice would be to bury it.

587
00:41:00,211 --> 00:41:05,052
Post Kitto to somewhere far away
and unpleasant.

588
00:41:05,341 --> 00:41:09,268
The jungles of Malaya
or up against the Mau Mau in Kenya,

589
00:41:09,387 --> 00:41:13,184
where he can get shot at
without troubling his conscience.

590
00:41:20,983 --> 00:41:23,997
Case dismissed and a 48-hour pass.

591
00:41:24,195 --> 00:41:26,913
Well, don't looked so chuffed.
It depresses me.

592
00:41:27,157 --> 00:41:30,503
- Where are you going?
- That girl. I'm going to find her.

593
00:41:31,831 --> 00:41:34,870
- You don't even know her name.
- I know her college in Oxford.

594
00:41:35,707 --> 00:41:37,214
You're nuts.

595
00:41:40,045 --> 00:41:41,517
We need to talk, Percy.

596
00:41:42,339 --> 00:41:44,261
You can talk in front of Bill.

597
00:41:48,888 --> 00:41:50,140
We're up shit creek, mate.

598
00:41:51,641 --> 00:41:55,154
Disappointed in you, Redmond.
The ultimate Skiver.

599
00:41:55,728 --> 00:41:57,864
I thought you'd relish this.

600
00:41:58,982 --> 00:42:02,281
Skivers do not take on the Army, Percy,
not head-on, they don't.

601
00:42:03,153 --> 00:42:05,622
They skin around it, duck under it.

602
00:42:06,490 --> 00:42:08,626
You think you're a Skiver.

603
00:42:08,743 --> 00:42:10,330
Well, skivers keep their head down.

604
00:42:11,705 --> 00:42:13,259
You're not a Skiver, Percy.

605
00:42:14,166 --> 00:42:15,589
This is not skiving.

606
00:42:15,959 --> 00:42:19,043
This is like sticking your head up
over the trench without a helm et.

607
00:42:19,067 --> 00:42:21,238
Give it back. You're both nuts.

608
00:42:21,673 --> 00:42:24,010
- I may never come back.
- Yes, you will.

609
00:42:24,343 --> 00:42:27,392
Because deep down,
or just below the surface,

610
00:42:27,513 --> 00:42:30,313
you are a fucking ninny.

611
00:42:32,477 --> 00:42:34,317
Just put it back, Percy.
They'll find it.

612
00:42:35,898 --> 00:42:37,488
No, they won't.

613
00:42:38,651 --> 00:42:41,036
The fucking RSM has me haunted.
He knows I done it.

614
00:42:41,153 --> 00:42:42,744
No, he doesn't.

615
00:42:42,863 --> 00:42:45,034
He's working me nuts off in the mess.

616
00:42:45,157 --> 00:42:47,043
You've dropped me in it.

617
00:42:47,159 --> 00:42:48,796
Just give it back, Percy.

618
00:42:48,911 --> 00:42:52,874
I can't. It's gone. Gone forever.

619
00:43:14,898 --> 00:43:17,318
The woman lies invitingly on the cushions.

620
00:43:18,610 --> 00:43:20,698
The man looms over her,

621
00:43:21,447 --> 00:43:23,832
his phallic pole
sliding through his fingers.

622
00:43:26,285 --> 00:43:29,798
My family live on the Thames,
downstream at Shepperton.

623
00:43:30,665 --> 00:43:33,216
I've been pulling punts
since I was nine years old.

624
00:43:34,001 --> 00:43:37,466
Pity.
It was such an attractive metaphor, William.

625
00:43:38,089 --> 00:43:41,970
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

626
00:43:46,349 --> 00:43:48,817
What would you like to do, later?

627
00:43:49,978 --> 00:43:52,315
Everything. Nothing.

628
00:43:59,154 --> 00:44:02,203
There's a film opened up called Rashomon.

629
00:44:03,242 --> 00:44:06,042
Everyone's talking about it.
It's a Japanese director.

630
00:44:06,620 --> 00:44:09,171
- Kurosawa.
- Yes.

631
00:44:10,291 --> 00:44:13,009
And while we're on names, what is yours?

632
00:44:14,004 --> 00:44:15,926
I keep meaning to ask.

633
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,426
I think you should name me, William,

634
00:44:19,552 --> 00:44:21,806
seeing as you were clever enough to find me.

635
00:44:22,387 --> 00:44:23,858
How about Ophelia?

636
00:44:24,723 --> 00:44:26,064
Why?

637
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:28,190
Unhappily in love.

638
00:44:28,519 --> 00:44:31,105
- Suicidal.
- Why do you say that?

639
00:44:33,066 --> 00:44:34,573
Your eyes.

640
00:44:35,569 --> 00:44:36,910
Oh.

641
00:44:38,238 --> 00:44:41,122
- And have you come to save me?
- Of course.

642
00:45:03,474 --> 00:45:07,237
It's brilliant. We're shown three versions
of the same event but each one different.

643
00:45:07,268 --> 00:45:10,277
And which one's true? We don't know.
Completely original technique.

644
00:45:10,391 --> 00:45:14,490
How can you be so passionate
about something so abstract?

645
00:45:15,695 --> 00:45:18,744
In all the versions, there was one constant.

646
00:45:19,032 --> 00:45:22,580
The woman was raped.
That's what the film was saying.

647
00:45:22,911 --> 00:45:26,874
It can happen in different ways
but the woman is always raped.

648
00:45:27,625 --> 00:45:29,844
- Were you ever?
- Raped?

649
00:45:30,837 --> 00:45:32,640
No, not raped.

650
00:45:33,089 --> 00:45:36,767
Seduced, conquered, possessed.

651
00:45:37,468 --> 00:45:39,770
I gave up, gave myself up.

652
00:45:40,847 --> 00:45:43,565
I despise him
but my body does not, it seems.

653
00:45:44,685 --> 00:45:45,978
Stroke.

654
00:45:46,562 --> 00:45:47,813
Stroke.

655
00:45:48,230 --> 00:45:49,524
Stroke.

656
00:45:57,950 --> 00:45:59,291
You let Bill see.

657
00:45:59,409 --> 00:46:01,912
Through the window.
That's different.

658
00:46:03,205 --> 00:46:08,425
God. It's so tedious having to go
through all these steps and stages.

659
00:46:08,752 --> 00:46:11,802
Hand on bra. Bra off.

660
00:46:12,090 --> 00:46:13,810
Hand on breast.

661
00:46:14,859 --> 00:46:16,492
We're going to get there in the end.

662
00:46:16,517 --> 00:46:19,233
Why delay it
with all this phoney resistance?

663
00:46:21,266 --> 00:46:24,945
- Okay, let's do it.
- Good. When?

664
00:46:27,609 --> 00:46:29,330
Now.

665
00:46:30,651 --> 00:46:32,739
- Right now?
- If you like.

666
00:46:35,949 --> 00:46:39,164
Here... Here in the open,
in the broad daylight?

667
00:46:39,495 --> 00:46:41,086
Why not?

668
00:46:43,788 --> 00:46:46,125
You've never done it, have you?

669
00:46:46,793 --> 00:46:48,217
Course I have.

670
00:46:48,337 --> 00:46:49,974
How many times?

671
00:46:50,589 --> 00:46:52,760
Uh...

672
00:46:55,219 --> 00:46:57,225
I lost count.

673
00:46:58,807 --> 00:47:00,360
Excuse me.

674
00:47:00,976 --> 00:47:02,233
Percy.

675
00:47:07,566 --> 00:47:09,181
What is it, Percy?

676
00:47:11,737 --> 00:47:13,410
I just saw a ghost.

677
00:47:20,413 --> 00:47:22,216
Sorry, I can't.

678
00:47:30,258 --> 00:47:32,228
Sorry it's such a mess

679
00:47:33,219 --> 00:47:34,726
but so am I.

680
00:47:41,686 --> 00:47:43,656
- Will he come?
- Yes.

681
00:47:44,898 --> 00:47:46,488
Are you sure?

682
00:47:46,900 --> 00:47:48,324
Yes.

683
00:47:49,862 --> 00:47:51,113
Then we'll wait.

684
00:47:56,077 --> 00:47:58,961
- Seducing a soldier?
- From the course of his duty.

685
00:47:59,373 --> 00:48:01,343
Are you really going to kill this Bradley?

686
00:48:02,083 --> 00:48:03,716
I know it sounds crazy sitting here.

687
00:48:04,336 --> 00:48:06,139
But there, in that camp,

688
00:48:07,464 --> 00:48:10,229
it feels normal, necessary.

689
00:48:11,093 --> 00:48:13,207
Is there nothing good you can take from it?

690
00:48:14,388 --> 00:48:16,524
- The Army?
- Yes.

691
00:48:18,143 --> 00:48:21,821
I did my basic training with these boys,
from every walk of life.

692
00:48:22,523 --> 00:48:24,110
We lived together in a barrack room

693
00:48:24,135 --> 00:48:26,955
and the more they brutalised us
and broke us down,

694
00:48:27,068 --> 00:48:28,789
the closer we got.

695
00:48:29,112 --> 00:48:32,494
We felt each other's pain,
knew each other's thoughts.

696
00:48:33,826 --> 00:48:37,623
None of us would ever admit it but
there was a lot of love in that room.

697
00:48:39,374 --> 00:48:41,011
Love and laughter.

698
00:48:42,002 --> 00:48:44,303
Well, one week,

699
00:48:45,673 --> 00:48:48,390
it was the day before pay day
and we were broke.

700
00:48:48,509 --> 00:48:50,867
There wasn't even a single cigarette
left between us.

701
00:48:51,219 --> 00:48:54,566
When we got back from training that day,
one boy, Lionel Barker,

702
00:48:54,682 --> 00:48:56,853
found a parcel waiting for him.

703
00:48:57,477 --> 00:49:00,823
<i>We all gathered round it because
we knew that whatever else was in it,</i>

704
00:49:00,939 --> 00:49:02,944
<i>there would be a packet of cigarettes.</i>

705
00:49:03,650 --> 00:49:05,821
- Oh, no.
- What's that?

706
00:49:06,361 --> 00:49:07,868
- Jam.
- Oh, shit.

707
00:49:08,197 --> 00:49:09,585
- Oh.
- Oh, God, no.

708
00:49:11,159 --> 00:49:14,457
<i>Of the 20 of us,
I was the only one that didn't smoke.</i>

709
00:49:18,291 --> 00:49:19,542
Gentle.

710
00:49:21,669 --> 00:49:24,054
Tweezers...
Give him your tweezers.

711
00:49:24,256 --> 00:49:25,928
Lionel... Lionel...

712
00:49:28,218 --> 00:49:30,021
- {soldier 2] Easy!

713
00:49:30,221 --> 00:49:31,609
Yes!

714
00:49:32,139 --> 00:49:33,391
Yes.

715
00:49:33,641 --> 00:49:36,607
Like a surgeon at work.
Go on, that's it.

716
00:49:39,313 --> 00:49:41,994
The cravings of those 19 boys
were so intense

717
00:49:42,108 --> 00:49:45,122
that it somehow seeped into me,
by osmosis or something.

718
00:49:47,572 --> 00:49:49,163
I think they're ready.

719
00:49:49,908 --> 00:49:51,160
Come on, boys.

720
00:49:52,286 --> 00:49:54,418
- Right, they're dry.
- Yes!

721
00:49:54,455 --> 00:49:55,707
Come on.

722
00:49:56,916 --> 00:49:58,186
Give us a light.

723
00:50:05,925 --> 00:50:07,931
<i>I who had never smoked,</i>

724
00:50:08,053 --> 00:50:11,316
<i>was craving a fag? dying for a cigarette.</i>

725
00:50:24,279 --> 00:50:25,917
So that was my first cigarette.

726
00:50:26,365 --> 00:50:29,379
It was pink and swollen
and strawberry-flavoured.

727
00:50:37,293 --> 00:50:39,630
- He hasn't turned up.
- He will.

728
00:50:39,837 --> 00:50:41,089
Good.

729
00:50:41,464 --> 00:50:43,777
You're very kind to do this for me, William.

730
00:50:44,259 --> 00:50:47,024
I don't have the will to end it on my own.

731
00:50:51,967 --> 00:50:54,767
I know what it's like with kind men.

732
00:50:56,355 --> 00:50:57,606
You give,

733
00:50:58,104 --> 00:51:01,151
console and offer oceans of sympathy.

734
00:51:03,071 --> 00:51:07,247
And the girl soon finds
she has this great debt of goodness

735
00:51:07,367 --> 00:51:09,752
that finally needs to be rewarded.

736
00:51:12,123 --> 00:51:14,757
And you get what you wanted all along.

737
00:51:17,461 --> 00:51:21,424
On the whole,
women prefer to be seized and taken,

738
00:51:23,927 --> 00:51:26,430
not have their resistance worn down.

739
00:51:29,349 --> 00:51:31,070
Oh, William, I do like you.

740
00:51:32,561 --> 00:51:35,010
If I got my body back,
I would probably give it to you.

741
00:51:35,273 --> 00:51:36,993
Send me a postcard when it happens.

742
00:51:37,108 --> 00:51:39,363
Oh, please don't go, William.
I need your help.

743
00:51:43,447 --> 00:51:44,705
William,

744
00:51:45,617 --> 00:51:47,871
this is Paul, my tutor
I was telling you about.

745
00:51:48,411 --> 00:51:50,962
Well, William, it's time for you to leave.

746
00:51:58,673 --> 00:52:00,014
Paul! Stop!

747
00:52:00,300 --> 00:52:01,807
Don't hurt him any more.

748
00:52:06,868 --> 00:52:08,790
Oh, darling, oh.

749
00:52:09,392 --> 00:52:10,650
Paul, I'm so sorry.

750
00:52:12,563 --> 00:52:15,197
Are you all right?

751
00:52:19,237 --> 00:52:24,375
Order! O-R-D-E-R.

752
00:52:25,369 --> 00:52:27,338
You'll be typing like girls in no time.

753
00:52:31,124 --> 00:52:33,011
What are you flouncing about, Henderson?

754
00:52:33,126 --> 00:52:36,341
I'm still trying to type like a girl,
like you said, Sarge.

755
00:52:36,547 --> 00:52:38,433
Are you a Nancy boy, Henderson?

756
00:52:38,549 --> 00:52:40,103
No, Sarge, I'm not.

757
00:52:40,384 --> 00:52:42,108
But I've fucked a lot of boys who are.

758
00:52:45,181 --> 00:52:47,946
- Well? What happened?
- I found her.

759
00:52:48,185 --> 00:52:50,237
- The mysterious lady?
- Yes.

760
00:52:51,647 --> 00:52:54,696
- Well, how was it?
- Eventful.

761
00:52:57,945 --> 00:52:59,784
Come on, out with it.

762
00:53:00,156 --> 00:53:02,410
I fell in love, got in a fight.

763
00:53:02,519 --> 00:53:05,319
- Did you win?
- Won the fight, lost the girl.

764
00:53:06,213 --> 00:53:08,301
I don't understand them.

765
00:53:09,058 --> 00:53:11,064
- Women?
- Yes.

766
00:53:11,362 --> 00:53:13,498
I mean, no, I don't.

767
00:53:49,125 --> 00:53:50,881
Silence!

768
00:53:53,547 --> 00:53:56,675
<i>The new Hitchcock film opened
this week, Strangers on a Train.</i>

769
00:53:56,967 --> 00:53:59,235
These two guys
both have someone they want to kill.

770
00:53:59,260 --> 00:54:02,190
Yes, they exchange victims.
That way each would have an alibi.

771
00:54:02,515 --> 00:54:04,271
Exactly.

772
00:54:04,768 --> 00:54:07,126
Now, if we could find someone
to kill Bradley for us,

773
00:54:07,186 --> 00:54:09,737
I'd be happy
to kill his nagging wife for him.

774
00:54:11,608 --> 00:54:14,538
It's spooky.
I think he knows our thoughts.

775
00:54:15,654 --> 00:54:17,077
He's evil.

776
00:54:25,290 --> 00:54:27,758
Here, tell me about the lovely Sophie.

777
00:54:27,876 --> 00:54:30,344
Did you get your way with her?

778
00:54:30,837 --> 00:54:33,720
Well, Sophie's a nice gin, not a slapper.

779
00:54:35,926 --> 00:54:38,145
I have too much respect for her.

780
00:54:38,387 --> 00:54:41,520
Respect? You, the master of disrespect?

781
00:54:42,391 --> 00:54:43,815
Fuck you.

782
00:54:48,148 --> 00:54:50,096
- Do you hear what's he's whistling?
- Yes.

783
00:54:50,122 --> 00:54:51,755
We're Soldiers of the Queen, My Lad.

784
00:54:51,780 --> 00:54:53,646
Ah, the King must be dead.

785
00:54:56,364 --> 00:54:58,500
"We're soldiers of the Queen..."

786
00:54:59,326 --> 00:55:02,838
We're soldiers of the Queen, mylad.

787
00:55:02,955 --> 00:55:06,384
The Queen, my lad The Queen, my lad.

788
00:55:06,501 --> 00:55:09,265
We're soldiers of the Queen, mylad.

789
00:55:09,838 --> 00:55:12,258
Have you heard the news?
The King is dead.

790
00:55:15,594 --> 00:55:17,315
On whose authority?

791
00:55:17,597 --> 00:55:20,499
We heard this cook whistling
We're Soldiers of the Queen, My Lad,

792
00:55:20,523 --> 00:55:21,774
so we know.

793
00:55:24,645 --> 00:55:25,897
Yes.

794
00:55:25,938 --> 00:55:29,735
We're soldiers of the Queen, mylad.

795
00:55:30,944 --> 00:55:33,364
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

796
00:55:33,608 --> 00:55:36,706
And based on this whistling cook,

797
00:55:36,992 --> 00:55:42,296
you countenance this rumour,
this seditious rumour,

798
00:55:42,877 --> 00:55:46,970
a rumour concerning our monarch,
a false rumour, Sergeant.

799
00:55:47,230 --> 00:55:48,951
If the King were dead,

800
00:55:49,366 --> 00:55:51,703
the regimental flag
would be flying at half-mast.

801
00:55:51,786 --> 00:55:54,598
Take a look out of the window.
Is the flag flying at half-mast?

802
00:55:54,624 --> 00:55:58,255
He's dead. He never wanted
to be King and now he isn't.

803
00:55:59,394 --> 00:56:03,819
Did you or did you not sign
an oath of allegiance to the King

804
00:56:03,899 --> 00:56:05,869
when you joined the Army, Sergeant?

805
00:56:05,969 --> 00:56:08,437
I didn't join. I was conscripted.

806
00:56:08,787 --> 00:56:12,750
Have you no respect for the King,
for the Army, for your country,

807
00:56:12,884 --> 00:56:14,889
or do you save all your respect

808
00:56:15,043 --> 00:56:17,428
for that little floozy you run around with?

809
00:56:22,918 --> 00:56:26,881
You have less than a year to serve,
Sergeant Hapgood.

810
00:56:27,006 --> 00:56:31,147
An assault would cost you an extra
six months in military prison!

811
00:56:31,261 --> 00:56:33,100
Next time I will kill you.

812
00:56:39,727 --> 00:56:42,943
I know you fought in the war,
the war against fascism,

813
00:56:43,065 --> 00:56:45,513
though it's hard to think of you
being against fascism.

814
00:56:46,235 --> 00:56:48,038
And maybe you were a hero.

815
00:56:48,487 --> 00:56:50,243
Did you shoot Germans?

816
00:56:50,448 --> 00:56:53,331
Was your best friend killed?
Did you lose the woman you loved?

817
00:56:53,493 --> 00:56:55,581
Though it takes a supreme act of imagination

818
00:56:55,704 --> 00:56:58,836
to think of you loving anyone
or anything except the Army.

819
00:56:59,749 --> 00:57:01,968
I am sorry for you, Sergeant Major Bradley.

820
00:57:02,252 --> 00:57:03,924
You are a pathetic figure.

821
00:57:05,047 --> 00:57:07,269
And I want you to know
that what you said to Percy

822
00:57:07,294 --> 00:57:09,679
amounts to a declaration of war.

823
00:57:10,594 --> 00:57:15,519
You are weak, Sergeant Rohan,
because you lack conviction.

824
00:57:18,478 --> 00:57:20,614
I have nothing to fear from you.

825
00:57:42,796 --> 00:57:44,766
Private Redmond.

826
00:57:45,049 --> 00:57:47,453
As you know, a little twerp
has refused to go to Korea

827
00:57:47,477 --> 00:57:50,241
after listening to Sergeant Rohan's
little fucking talks.

828
00:57:51,180 --> 00:57:55,403
Well, that means we're a man short,
so I've put you in to fill the hole.

829
00:57:56,018 --> 00:57:59,234
Meanwhile, you can trot off back
to the centre, pending your posting.

830
00:58:02,901 --> 00:58:05,582
Of course, if that clock were to turn up,

831
00:58:05,696 --> 00:58:08,461
well, things might be different.

832
00:58:26,051 --> 00:58:29,515
- Did they leave you off, Redmond?
- Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.

833
00:58:30,598 --> 00:58:33,362
Well, I'll make sure
you're in the next batch.

834
00:58:39,273 --> 00:58:40,531
Can I come in, Percy?

835
00:58:42,235 --> 00:58:43,742
Your fucking head's already in.

836
00:58:47,115 --> 00:58:50,213
- You wanted to see me?
- I thought you were off to Korea?

837
00:58:50,661 --> 00:58:52,501
It's still hanging over me.

838
00:58:54,332 --> 00:58:58,129
I've been perusing Bradleys bible,
the Army Act.

839
00:58:58,462 --> 00:59:00,467
I think we might hoist him
on his own petard.

840
00:59:01,214 --> 00:59:02,465
What? Hang him?

841
00:59:07,429 --> 00:59:09,648
Listen to this.

842
00:59:09,932 --> 00:59:13,195
"It is an offence for an NCO
to admonish another NCO

843
00:59:13,311 --> 00:59:15,398
in the presence of a private soldier."

844
00:59:15,813 --> 00:59:17,320
So?

845
00:59:18,858 --> 00:59:21,908
Here's what we do.
Percy and I provoke him into a rant

846
00:59:22,029 --> 00:59:24,160
and you slip into the room
without him noticing.

847
00:59:24,184 --> 00:59:27,115
And we charge him and march him
down to Major fucking Cross.

848
00:59:28,535 --> 00:59:30,089
So what do I get out of it?

849
00:59:31,288 --> 00:59:32,842
You get Bradley off your back.

850
00:59:34,166 --> 00:59:36,337
If you were to get the RSM
off me back, Percy...

851
00:59:40,298 --> 00:59:42,593
- And how would I do that?
- You fucking know how.

852
00:59:42,620 --> 00:59:44,151
- Say it, Redmond.
- Give it back.

853
00:59:44,178 --> 00:59:47,275
- Give what back?
- The clock, the fucking clock.

854
00:59:51,768 --> 00:59:56,408
Well, let's get rid of Bradley
and then we'll see about the RSM.

855
00:59:56,983 --> 00:59:58,952
You can trust me.

856
01:00:00,403 --> 01:00:02,871
- Sergeant Rohan?
- Yes?

857
01:00:06,285 --> 01:00:08,255
At the gate, Sarge.

858
01:00:16,837 --> 01:00:20,515
William, I didn't know how else
to reach you. I'm staying with my aunt.

859
01:00:20,967 --> 01:00:23,518
- What do you want?
- To say sorry.

860
01:00:24,846 --> 01:00:26,098
I'm so sorry.

861
01:00:26,473 --> 01:00:29,439
- For what?
- For ruining your 48-hour pass.

862
01:00:31,437 --> 01:00:34,201
Everything. What a bitch!
Can you forgive me?

863
01:00:34,524 --> 01:00:36,520
Can you let me out
for a few minutes, please?

864
01:00:36,544 --> 01:00:38,862
No, Sarge.
I took a risk in coming to get you.

865
01:00:38,986 --> 01:00:42,333
It meant leaving my post.
Can't open the gate.

866
01:00:50,582 --> 01:00:52,422
I go on leave tomorrow.

867
01:00:52,835 --> 01:00:54,674
Come with me, to my parents'.

868
01:00:55,546 --> 01:00:57,302
And my sister's back from Canada.

869
01:00:57,757 --> 01:01:01,471
I can't, William.
I can meet you in a couple of days.

870
01:01:02,678 --> 01:01:05,478
- What's their telephone number?
- They don't have a phone.

871
01:01:05,890 --> 01:01:08,821
- They don't have a phone?
- No one I know has a phone.

872
01:01:10,228 --> 01:01:12,115
I'll give you the address.

873
01:01:12,398 --> 01:01:16,325
- The Sphinx...
- Sphinx? Like in Egypt?

874
01:01:17,028 --> 01:01:19,532
The Sphinx, Pharaoh's Island, Shepperton.

875
01:01:20,031 --> 01:01:22,072
Pharaoh's Island?
Are you kidding?

876
01:01:22,284 --> 01:01:25,001
No. Ring the bell.

877
01:01:29,416 --> 01:01:30,667
Billy!

878
01:01:33,420 --> 01:01:36,101
Billy! Look at you!

879
01:01:36,966 --> 01:01:39,051
You were a skinny
little 9-year-old when I left

880
01:01:39,076 --> 01:01:40,849
and now you're a big sexy man.

881
01:01:40,970 --> 01:01:43,873
Stop with the kisses. I preferred it
when you used to beat me up.

882
01:01:43,898 --> 01:01:44,850
Yeah, I hated you.

883
01:01:45,058 --> 01:01:47,688
I was an only child for eight years
and then you turned up.

884
01:01:47,713 --> 01:01:49,849
- I wanted to kill you.
- Sorry.

885
01:01:50,605 --> 01:01:52,278
Come on. Come on, Bill!

886
01:01:54,776 --> 01:01:56,746
Mum, Bill's here.

887
01:01:58,698 --> 01:02:01,118
- Oh, Bill, you're home!
- Hello, Mum.

888
01:02:01,242 --> 01:02:02,493
Oh!

889
01:02:03,036 --> 01:02:04,708
- Look at you.
- I've missed you.

890
01:02:04,829 --> 01:02:06,081
- Come in.
- Look at her.

891
01:02:06,164 --> 01:02:07,967
I haven't missed you at all.

892
01:02:08,417 --> 01:02:11,549
Come and sit. Come and sit.
Come and sit. Oh! My darling.

893
01:02:11,670 --> 01:02:13,308
- Oh, Bill.
- Hello, Dad.

894
01:02:13,714 --> 01:02:16,929
Bill... Grace, where did I leave
those newspapers?

895
01:02:17,050 --> 01:02:19,387
Oh, where you left them.

896
01:02:20,096 --> 01:02:25,565
I was mortified. My own son named
and shamed in these newspapers.

897
01:02:25,685 --> 01:02:28,984
- Shamed.
- What is it? "Seducing."

898
01:02:29,106 --> 01:02:31,373
"Seducing a soldier
from the course of his duties."

899
01:02:31,398 --> 01:02:32,375
Seducing?

900
01:02:32,401 --> 01:02:34,487
Are you saying
that my grandson's a homosexual?

901
01:02:34,662 --> 01:02:35,706
Oh...

902
01:02:35,916 --> 01:02:39,162
- A nine-bob note?
- Of course not, Dada.

903
01:02:39,700 --> 01:02:42,204
I... I mean, look at it.

904
01:02:42,328 --> 01:02:44,084
Look at it.

905
01:02:45,081 --> 01:02:48,379
Do you know how humiliating it is

906
01:02:48,919 --> 01:02:50,841
for a man who fought in two world wars?

907
01:02:50,963 --> 01:02:52,686
Except you didn't actually fight, Dad.

908
01:02:52,798 --> 01:02:54,934
- I rode into battle.
- With a drawn sword.

909
01:02:55,259 --> 01:02:57,679
- Leading my Gurkhas.
- Against the Turks.

910
01:02:57,804 --> 01:02:59,310
It was a suicide mission.

911
01:02:59,514 --> 01:03:01,186
Except the Turks had skedaddled.

912
01:03:01,428 --> 01:03:03,334
They were terrified of facing the Gurkhas.

913
01:03:03,358 --> 01:03:05,909
Or was it Dad on his horse
who made them run?

914
01:03:06,688 --> 01:03:10,698
And as for the Second World War,
you were stationed up North,

915
01:03:10,817 --> 01:03:13,238
some place the Luftwaffe had never heard of,

916
01:03:13,362 --> 01:03:15,782
while we were in London
getting bombed every night.

917
01:03:16,115 --> 01:03:19,081
Well, I'm a patriot.
Bill is clearly not.

918
01:03:19,202 --> 01:03:21,207
- I was exonerated, Dad.
- Oh.

919
01:03:21,496 --> 01:03:25,293
So, you're not... You're not
a Nancy boy after all.

920
01:03:25,584 --> 01:03:28,432
Yeah, well, those two spies are,
Burgess and Maclean.

921
01:03:28,544 --> 01:03:31,843
Buggery and skulduggery
go hand-in-hand.

922
01:03:31,965 --> 01:03:33,686
I don't suppose

923
01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:36,814
either of you are interested
in the Coronation?

924
01:03:36,929 --> 01:03:39,693
Well, I am and so is Grace.

925
01:03:40,016 --> 01:03:42,036
- Don't...
- I've bought

926
01:03:42,185 --> 01:03:45,234
one of these television things
to watch it on.

927
01:03:45,689 --> 01:03:49,153
And unless it's against your principles,

928
01:03:49,777 --> 01:03:53,574
I would be very grateful
for a hand setting it up.

929
01:03:55,657 --> 01:03:57,211
- How about this?
- Stop.

930
01:03:57,326 --> 01:03:59,497
That's too far. Back a bit.

931
01:04:00,579 --> 01:04:02,051
- A little more.
- There?

932
01:04:03,040 --> 01:04:05,924
No. No, go South.

933
01:04:06,044 --> 01:04:07,812
South. You have to turn it south, Bill.

934
01:04:09,089 --> 01:04:10,845
No, no, no. Go back, back.

935
01:04:11,258 --> 01:04:13,643
- You've got to go back.
- That it?

936
01:04:13,761 --> 01:04:18,602
That's it. No. No.
We're talking subtle increments here.

937
01:04:18,932 --> 01:04:21,780
That's too much, that's too much,
Bill. We're talking subtle,

938
01:04:21,894 --> 01:04:23,531
subtle increments, okay?

939
01:04:23,813 --> 01:04:26,945
- Subtle increments?
- To the south.

940
01:04:27,358 --> 01:04:29,743
No, back. Okay, back, back.

941
01:04:30,612 --> 01:04:32,700
There we are.
Hold it! Hold it. We've almost...

942
01:04:32,823 --> 01:04:35,042
Oh, blast. We've lost it.

943
01:04:35,284 --> 01:04:36,625
You've lost it, Bill!

944
01:04:36,869 --> 01:04:38,139
- There?
- Great!

945
01:04:38,165 --> 01:04:39,589
- Keep it there.
- Yeah?

946
01:04:40,098 --> 01:04:41,477
- You sure?
- Hold it.

947
01:04:41,502 --> 01:04:43,295
Hold it. There we are. There we are.

948
01:04:43,417 --> 01:04:46,211
We've got a picture, Bill. You did it!

949
01:04:48,923 --> 01:04:51,771
Here's my friend Percy.
He's come in a red sportscar.

950
01:04:51,885 --> 01:04:53,178
Would you fetch him, Dawn?

951
01:05:04,107 --> 01:05:05,400
Hello!

952
01:05:19,081 --> 01:05:21,762
<i>The crowned heads of Europe
continue to arrive in London</i>

953
01:05:22,210 --> 01:05:25,342
<i>for the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II.</i>

954
01:05:25,588 --> 01:05:27,391
<i>Preparations continue</i>

955
01:05:27,507 --> 01:05:31,055
<i>and the Golden Coach has been put
through its paces up and down The Mail.</i>

956
01:05:31,177 --> 01:05:33,626
So, where did you get
that beautiful sports car, Percy?

957
01:05:33,651 --> 01:05:34,902
I stole it.

958
01:05:35,056 --> 01:05:37,477
But I'll return it
before the owner gets back.

959
01:05:37,935 --> 01:05:39,323
Percy has no conscience.

960
01:05:39,645 --> 01:05:41,085
It's supposed to prick you,
but it never does...

961
01:05:41,111 --> 01:05:42,698
- What?
- But it never does.

962
01:05:42,724 --> 01:05:45,275
Don't you feel even a twinge of guilt
about the owner?

963
01:05:45,394 --> 01:05:47,369
God, no. I rather resent him.

964
01:05:47,487 --> 01:05:48,828
Please.

965
01:05:49,072 --> 01:05:52,667
The tank was nearly empty and I had
to fill it up with my own money.

966
01:05:53,135 --> 01:05:54,386
Shh!

967
01:05:54,410 --> 01:05:55,662
Shh!

968
01:06:04,088 --> 01:06:07,054
<i>Blue</i>

969
01:06:08,468 --> 01:06:11,517
<i>Moon.</i>

970
01:06:13,265 --> 01:06:16,398
<i>You saw me standing alone.</i>

971
01:06:17,144 --> 01:06:20,526
So, have you guys got girlfriends?

972
01:06:23,025 --> 01:06:25,196
Son of but...

973
01:06:26,028 --> 01:06:28,164
she lives in a hospital, I live in a camp.

974
01:06:28,281 --> 01:06:31,496
We have nowhere to go.
We end up in the wet grass.

975
01:06:33,537 --> 01:06:35,293
Making love?

976
01:06:37,041 --> 01:06:40,256
- Conditions are never quite right.
- What?

977
01:06:40,461 --> 01:06:43,392
I would do it anywhere at your age,
well, younger than you.

978
01:06:43,505 --> 01:06:46,887
Wet grass, in the rain, against a wall.

979
01:06:47,009 --> 01:06:48,350
And look what happened.

980
01:06:48,469 --> 01:06:50,688
You got knocked up at 17
and shamed your family.

981
01:06:50,805 --> 01:06:53,938
It was the war. Do it quick
before a bomb drops on your head.

982
01:06:54,059 --> 01:06:56,029
It was urgent.

983
01:06:58,105 --> 01:06:59,363
- Billy.
- No.

984
01:06:59,690 --> 01:07:00,983
Yes.

985
01:07:01,734 --> 01:07:04,700
And you, Billy boy? Have you got a girl?

986
01:07:04,821 --> 01:07:07,158
Kind of. You'll meet her tomorrow.

987
01:07:07,448 --> 01:07:11,079
Tomorrow? What does "kind of" mean?

988
01:07:11,327 --> 01:07:13,297
It's complicated.

989
01:07:17,584 --> 01:07:20,550
- She's in love with someone else and...
- Oh...

990
01:07:20,671 --> 01:07:23,175
she's turning Bill inside-out.

991
01:07:23,299 --> 01:07:24,550
Billy.

992
01:07:24,801 --> 01:07:26,604
And she's really old.

993
01:07:26,970 --> 01:07:30,482
- What? Old like me?
- Not as old as that.

994
01:07:32,308 --> 01:07:35,274
I am going for a swim.

995
01:07:35,395 --> 01:07:37,732
<i>The moon had turned to gold.</i>

996
01:07:40,484 --> 01:07:42,038
- Blue moon.
- Come on, boys!

997
01:07:42,152 --> 01:07:44,288
Don't be boring!

998
01:07:46,073 --> 01:07:49,502
Now I'm no Langer alone.
<i>- Whoo!</i>

999
01:08:33,291 --> 01:08:35,379
- Is Dawn not up yet?
- No.

1000
01:08:35,627 --> 01:08:37,597
- Percy?
- Still in bed.

1001
01:08:39,465 --> 01:08:42,016
I'm worried about Dawn, Billy.

1002
01:08:42,426 --> 01:08:45,559
She came for a holiday but
I don't think she intends to go back.

1003
01:08:45,679 --> 01:08:48,099
She wouldn't abandon the children.

1004
01:09:00,070 --> 01:09:02,066
Was that Mac
you were waving to this morning?

1005
01:09:05,493 --> 01:09:07,748
- You saw him?
- And you.

1006
01:09:08,621 --> 01:09:10,294
Waving.

1007
01:09:11,248 --> 01:09:13,717
- Do you still see him?
- No.

1008
01:09:15,295 --> 01:09:17,596
We never meet.

1009
01:09:17,839 --> 01:09:19,809
We wave.

1010
01:09:20,050 --> 01:09:22,020
Just wave.

1011
01:09:25,932 --> 01:09:27,854
I'm sorry, Billy.

1012
01:09:28,518 --> 01:09:32,066
It was the war. We all did silly things.

1013
01:09:32,189 --> 01:09:33,855
I was 10.

1014
01:09:34,412 --> 01:09:37,188
Do I betray my mother
or do I betray my father?

1015
01:09:41,949 --> 01:09:43,870
On, Billy.

1016
01:09:45,828 --> 01:09:48,083
It's so good to have you home.

1017
01:10:01,720 --> 01:10:04,105
You can go. Be back in an hour.

1018
01:10:12,690 --> 01:10:14,244
Ophelia!

1019
01:10:26,914 --> 01:10:29,464
Wow. She's elegant, all right.

1020
01:10:35,340 --> 01:10:38,389
Look at the way she stepped
into the boat. It's not easy.

1021
01:10:39,136 --> 01:10:42,066
Well, William.
You really do live on an island.

1022
01:10:46,144 --> 01:10:48,231
She has a great body.

1023
01:10:48,437 --> 01:10:51,285
I'm beginning to see why Bill keeps at it.

1024
01:10:51,565 --> 01:10:57,201
Yeah, she's... She's beautiful
but she's not... sensual.

1025
01:10:59,699 --> 01:11:01,171
How can you tell that?

1026
01:11:01,702 --> 01:11:03,612
Oh, because when you're sensual yourself,

1027
01:11:03,638 --> 01:11:06,107
you can always tell
if it's missing in someone else.

1028
01:11:08,292 --> 01:11:09,716
Oh.

1029
01:11:17,510 --> 01:11:19,681
Yeah, no, she hasn't got it.

1030
01:11:21,723 --> 01:11:23,894
The full welcome.

1031
01:11:24,143 --> 01:11:26,480
Is this the first time
you've brought a girl home?

1032
01:11:27,104 --> 01:11:29,026
You're so beautiful.

1033
01:11:30,358 --> 01:11:31,829
Thank you for coming.

1034
01:11:35,571 --> 01:11:37,707
Class written all over her.

1035
01:11:37,907 --> 01:11:41,289
What can a woman like that see in Bill?

1036
01:11:41,620 --> 01:11:42,913
Bit old.

1037
01:11:44,706 --> 01:11:46,260
Hi! Hello.

1038
01:11:49,295 --> 01:11:52,392
How lovely. Ophelia, isn't it?

1039
01:11:52,632 --> 01:11:54,602
It can be.

1040
01:11:54,926 --> 01:11:57,857
I hope you'll watch the coronation with us.

1041
01:11:57,971 --> 01:12:01,068
Oh, sadly, I can't.
I'm being picked up in an hour.

1042
01:12:01,850 --> 01:12:03,273
- Oh...

1043
01:12:03,476 --> 01:12:05,482
Oh, well. Come in.

1044
01:12:06,980 --> 01:12:08,950
"I'm being
picked up in an hour."

1045
01:12:09,066 --> 01:12:11,154
I'm sorry.

1046
01:12:15,073 --> 01:12:20,079
Stop it. So...
So, what do you, uh, study at Oxford?

1047
01:12:20,621 --> 01:12:22,174
Philosophy.

1048
01:12:23,374 --> 01:12:25,759
Does that help you understand life?

1049
01:12:26,501 --> 01:12:29,598
On the contrary, the more I read,
the less I understand.

1050
01:12:30,506 --> 01:12:31,757
Oh.

1051
01:12:32,216 --> 01:12:36,060
See, I thought it was supposed
to, um, guide your behaviour, you know?

1052
01:12:36,346 --> 01:12:40,356
I'm amazed at how people do behave.
Aren't you? Dawn?

1053
01:12:43,062 --> 01:12:44,782
All the time.

1054
01:12:45,189 --> 01:12:48,286
I find my own behaviour
impossible to understand.

1055
01:12:50,110 --> 01:12:53,622
- What about Bill's behaviour?
- Oh, yes.

1056
01:12:55,157 --> 01:12:56,415
William...

1057
01:12:57,076 --> 01:12:59,331
- William?
- Yes, William.

1058
01:12:59,829 --> 01:13:02,166
I take him seriously.
I take his name seriously.

1059
01:13:02,416 --> 01:13:04,468
Stop quizzing the poor girl.

1060
01:13:04,918 --> 01:13:06,675
I'm sorry, Ophelia,

1061
01:13:06,795 --> 01:13:11,019
but we islanders are so fascinated
by people from the mainland.

1062
01:13:14,011 --> 01:13:15,565
Oh, come on.

1063
01:13:15,763 --> 01:13:18,777
<i>And the Queen will pass</i>

1064
01:13:19,517 --> 01:13:24,406
<i>as they move in slow procession
through the aisle of the abbey...</i>

1065
01:13:25,983 --> 01:13:28,783
What other nation
could put on a pageant like this?

1066
01:13:30,780 --> 01:13:32,999
There's hope in it.

1067
01:13:35,452 --> 01:13:37,920
We're entering a new Elizabethan age.

1068
01:13:38,037 --> 01:13:39,959
God forbid.

1069
01:13:40,373 --> 01:13:44,134
The first Elizabeth murdered her cousin,

1070
01:13:44,252 --> 01:13:47,100
persecuted Catholics and died a virgin.

1071
01:13:47,214 --> 01:13:49,551
Oh, shut up, Dada.

1072
01:13:50,885 --> 01:13:53,850
Oh, that poor, sweet girl.

1073
01:13:53,971 --> 01:13:56,191
She's Dawn's age.

1074
01:13:56,307 --> 01:13:58,313
She has to take on a life of duty.

1075
01:13:58,518 --> 01:14:01,817
And she'll never have to
draw a curtain or draw a bath

1076
01:14:02,271 --> 01:14:04,241
or squeeze her own toothpaste.

1077
01:14:04,691 --> 01:14:09,117
Our queen deserves a few small
comforts to help her through it.

1078
01:14:10,572 --> 01:14:12,542
God bless her.

1079
01:14:14,702 --> 01:14:17,882
I agree. It's all quite lovely.

1080
01:14:18,318 --> 01:14:21,035
- They're all Germans.
- Oh!

1081
01:14:21,307 --> 01:14:23,791
The Kaiser was Queen Victoria's nephew.

1082
01:14:24,062 --> 01:14:26,648
Now they call themselves Windsor.

1083
01:14:26,673 --> 01:14:28,678
Windsor my arse!

1084
01:14:28,800 --> 01:14:32,858
Windsor is a brown soup
or a way to knot your tie.

1085
01:14:32,972 --> 01:14:34,977
It is not a royal line.

1086
01:14:35,099 --> 01:14:36,350
Have some respect, George.

1087
01:14:36,434 --> 01:14:38,106
It's all medieval mumbo jumbo.

1088
01:14:38,227 --> 01:14:40,529
They're calling on God to anoint them.

1089
01:14:40,647 --> 01:14:43,530
"The divine right of kings."

1090
01:14:43,817 --> 01:14:45,490
Tradition.

1091
01:14:46,403 --> 01:14:49,203
Do not underestimate the power of tradition.

1092
01:14:49,323 --> 01:14:50,820
It doesn't matter. It's harmless.

1093
01:14:50,844 --> 01:14:53,541
Why get so worked up about it?
It's just fun.

1094
01:14:53,744 --> 01:14:55,132
Oh! It's Ophelia!

1095
01:14:55,621 --> 01:14:57,840
- I saw Ophelia!
- It can't be.

1096
01:14:58,307 --> 01:14:59,559
It was her.

1097
01:14:59,584 --> 01:15:01,755
Look! Look! There she is again.

1098
01:15:01,878 --> 01:15:03,171
- There.
- It is. It is.

1099
01:15:06,842 --> 01:15:09,143
- What's her family name?
- I don't know.

1100
01:15:09,470 --> 01:15:12,733
You don't know? What? Are you witless?

1101
01:15:14,309 --> 01:15:16,729
I don't even know her first name.
It's not Ophelia.

1102
01:15:18,187 --> 01:15:20,653
<i>History will be written
and sung hem today...</i>

1103
01:15:21,941 --> 01:15:25,288
I've got to get that car back
before the end of the ceremony.

1104
01:15:25,403 --> 01:15:27,373
The owner's also in the abbey.

1105
01:15:32,828 --> 01:15:37,005
Billy, why are you against everything?

1106
01:15:37,625 --> 01:15:39,465
Like what?

1107
01:15:39,710 --> 01:15:43,305
Like the Army, the war, royalty,

1108
01:15:43,423 --> 01:15:45,724
the Tories, the class system, God,

1109
01:15:45,750 --> 01:15:47,720
Dad's patriotism.

1110
01:15:48,261 --> 01:15:50,812
So, what are you for?

1111
01:15:51,056 --> 01:15:53,263
- What are you for?
- Me?

1112
01:15:53,834 --> 01:15:58,141
Life, love, freedom, adventure.

1113
01:15:58,690 --> 01:16:00,826
Does that include flirting with Percy?

1114
01:16:03,487 --> 01:16:07,248
It's interesting that you choose
a friend with no morals or scruples.

1115
01:16:07,490 --> 01:16:10,125
That way you owe him nothing,
like no commitment.

1116
01:16:10,369 --> 01:16:14,711
And this girl, you're entranced by her.

1117
01:16:16,083 --> 01:16:19,317
She's in love with someone else, unhappily.

1118
01:16:19,402 --> 01:16:22,690
Probably married.
And you think you have to protect her,

1119
01:16:22,716 --> 01:16:25,979
like you protected Mother
when she was having it off with Mac.

1120
01:16:26,804 --> 01:16:29,901
And because Ophelia is not free,

1121
01:16:30,223 --> 01:16:33,189
you're free to yearn for her.

1122
01:16:35,145 --> 01:16:37,696
That girl needs a rock, not a wet rag.

1123
01:16:37,815 --> 01:16:39,322
For God's sake, stop.

1124
01:16:40,485 --> 01:16:42,537
And leave me alone.

1125
01:16:42,862 --> 01:16:45,497
You look at yourself.
Your marriage is messed up,

1126
01:16:46,575 --> 01:16:49,293
you left your kids behind.
Don't lecture me.

1127
01:16:49,578 --> 01:16:52,180
Sorry, Billy. Come and sit down.

1128
01:16:52,206 --> 01:16:55,339
- I promise I'll be nice.
- You don't know how.

1129
01:17:01,340 --> 01:17:04,438
My darling, dopey little brother.

1130
01:17:08,223 --> 01:17:11,154
Do you know, Mum and Mac...

1131
01:17:11,268 --> 01:17:13,024
Do they still see each other?

1132
01:17:13,396 --> 01:17:18,284
No. But they wave to each other
across the river.

1133
01:17:19,652 --> 01:17:21,787
- Every day, they just wave.
- Oh.

1134
01:17:23,948 --> 01:17:25,954
That's quite touching.

1135
01:17:30,789 --> 01:17:32,711
Their affair...

1136
01:17:34,377 --> 01:17:36,512
That's her guilt, not yours.

1137
01:17:38,715 --> 01:17:42,595
You should have told Dad instead of
bottling it up for all these years.

1138
01:17:42,802 --> 01:17:44,522
I couldn't.

1139
01:17:45,054 --> 01:17:47,190
You don't think he knew at some level?

1140
01:17:49,643 --> 01:17:51,529
I don't know.

1141
01:18:08,621 --> 01:18:10,888
You're mine now,
for the next two years!

1142
01:18:10,913 --> 01:18:11,714
Left, right!

1143
01:18:11,740 --> 01:18:15,587
Well, it's not the first time I've
had to correct you in this matter.

1144
01:18:15,713 --> 01:18:19,225
When teaching illiterates,
you will use the words in the manual,

1145
01:18:19,342 --> 01:18:21,477
not frivolous ones that pop into your head.

1146
01:18:21,594 --> 01:18:23,680
You're not teaching them
to write letters home.

1147
01:18:23,705 --> 01:18:26,318
You're teaching them
to understand orders, Army orders.

1148
01:18:26,433 --> 01:18:28,521
I will remind you of the words in question.

1149
01:18:28,644 --> 01:18:32,192
"Orders, regiment, sir, company, posting,

1150
01:18:32,314 --> 01:18:36,574
"Sergeant, corporal, officer,
report obey."

1151
01:18:37,319 --> 01:18:39,040
Yes, obey.

1152
01:18:39,155 --> 01:18:42,952
That seems to be a word not in
your vocabulary, let alone in theirs.

1153
01:18:43,076 --> 01:18:46,714
Teaching them words to write a letter home
motivates them to learn to read, sir.

1154
01:18:46,830 --> 01:18:48,301
You will do as you are ordered.

1155
01:18:48,415 --> 01:18:52,046
I'm sick to death
of your rigid fucking rants, sir.

1156
01:18:52,753 --> 01:18:55,968
You are a nasty little subversive.

1157
01:18:56,089 --> 01:18:58,901
You think you're clever. You think
you're better than the Army.

1158
01:18:58,926 --> 01:19:01,808
You are vermin!
You have infested this centre.

1159
01:19:01,929 --> 01:19:04,480
You are disruptive, rabid, rancid!

1160
01:19:04,599 --> 01:19:07,316
You have brought anarchy to this centre!

1161
01:19:08,520 --> 01:19:10,074
Should I be hearing all this, sir?

1162
01:19:13,484 --> 01:19:14,741
Section 73.

1163
01:19:14,860 --> 01:19:19,832
An NCO shall not admonish another NCO
in the presence of a private soldier.

1164
01:19:21,659 --> 01:19:24,874
Are you party to this tawdry affair,
Sergeant Rohan?

1165
01:19:36,675 --> 01:19:38,562
Well, this is a surprise.

1166
01:19:39,387 --> 01:19:42,353
Admonishing an NCO
in the presence of a private soldier.

1167
01:19:43,474 --> 01:19:46,523
A serious offence, contrary to good order.

1168
01:19:47,603 --> 01:19:49,599
Do you admit to this,
Sergeant Major Bradley?

1169
01:19:49,624 --> 01:19:51,658
- Entrapment, sir.
- What?

1170
01:19:51,775 --> 01:19:55,204
- Entrapment, sir.
- Entrapment?

1171
01:19:56,447 --> 01:19:58,203
Is that covered in the Army Act?

1172
01:19:58,699 --> 01:20:00,604
Well, you know it backwards.
Is it in here?

1173
01:20:00,993 --> 01:20:03,129
- No, sir.
- Then guilty.

1174
01:20:07,667 --> 01:20:10,930
My record is unblemished.

1175
01:20:12,088 --> 01:20:16,597
I've obeyed the law to the letter,
every iota correct in every respect.

1176
01:20:16,885 --> 01:20:19,733
I'm what the Army Act
intended a soldier to be.

1177
01:20:22,225 --> 01:20:24,562
The moral high ground is mine.
It's mine.

1178
01:20:24,686 --> 01:20:27,320
I tell you, I'm what a soldier's
supposed to be.

1179
01:20:27,439 --> 01:20:30,488
The Army is me. I am the Army.

1180
01:20:30,692 --> 01:20:35,165
Land the Army are indivisible to a tee.

1181
01:20:37,240 --> 01:20:39,293
You, sir, you fudge and prevaricate.

1182
01:20:39,535 --> 01:20:42,121
You betray your commission
in your quest for easement...

1183
01:20:42,246 --> 01:20:44,242
That is quite enough,
Sergeant Major Bradley.

1184
01:20:44,267 --> 01:20:46,189
You're digging a hole for yourself.

1185
01:20:47,544 --> 01:20:50,392
Relieved of duties. Confined to quarters

1186
01:20:50,797 --> 01:20:52,803
pending psychological assessment.

1187
01:20:59,640 --> 01:21:02,274
I didn't think he would fall apart.

1188
01:21:02,476 --> 01:21:04,861
The only thing I regret
is we took the easy way.

1189
01:21:04,979 --> 01:21:06,652
We should have killed the bollocks.

1190
01:21:06,773 --> 01:21:08,280
We've wrecked his life, Percy.

1191
01:21:12,195 --> 01:21:15,293
Have you seen this?
Invitation to the regimental ball.

1192
01:21:15,658 --> 01:21:18,161
"Officers and their ladies,
NCOs and their wives,

1193
01:21:18,286 --> 01:21:20,255
"other ranks and their women."

1194
01:21:22,581 --> 01:21:24,966
It actually says that in cold print.

1195
01:21:25,084 --> 01:21:26,638
I thought you were making it up.

1196
01:21:28,004 --> 01:21:30,590
There's no mention of skivers
and their slappers.

1197
01:21:30,882 --> 01:21:32,472
Get your feet off Bradley's desk.

1198
01:21:32,801 --> 01:21:34,640
Aint's his no more.

1199
01:21:35,137 --> 01:21:37,189
Clean up the place. It's a shambles.

1200
01:21:37,473 --> 01:21:38,724
Okay, Sarge.

1201
01:21:45,648 --> 01:21:47,201
Come on, do it.

1202
01:21:49,902 --> 01:21:52,786
All in good time, Percy.
Will you have a beer?

1203
01:21:53,198 --> 01:21:54,752
Just get on with it.

1204
01:21:57,619 --> 01:22:01,464
I thought when I got rid of Bradley for you
we could all take it nice and easy.

1205
01:22:02,458 --> 01:22:04,048
Clean up. That's an order.

1206
01:22:04,544 --> 01:22:06,466
We're all in this together, Percy.

1207
01:22:12,635 --> 01:22:14,605
Here she is, Bill.

1208
01:22:17,474 --> 01:22:20,192
Well, hello.

1209
01:22:20,394 --> 01:22:21,687
Thank you.

1210
01:22:23,147 --> 01:22:27,205
Sophie, this used to be Ophelia.
And this is Sophie, Percy's friend.

1211
01:22:27,819 --> 01:22:29,741
Breast at the window.

1212
01:22:30,071 --> 01:22:32,492
Do you tell everyone?

1213
01:22:35,660 --> 01:22:40,216
So, Helen Montague, your cover is blown.

1214
01:22:40,958 --> 01:22:45,218
Pity. Anonymity
was the basis of our relati...

1215
01:22:47,256 --> 01:22:49,428
Ophelia was a much nicer girl than Helen.

1216
01:22:50,468 --> 01:22:53,055
And like Ophelia,
you ended up in the lily pond.

1217
01:22:53,472 --> 01:22:55,442
Not quite.

1218
01:22:56,225 --> 01:22:58,195
- Have you seen Sunset...
- Boulevard?

1219
01:22:58,518 --> 01:23:01,698
I was first in the queue.
Great movie. Billy Wilder.

1220
01:23:02,147 --> 01:23:05,695
That was me, face down in the swimming pool,

1221
01:23:05,818 --> 01:23:08,582
living my life in flashback
like William Holden.

1222
01:23:08,738 --> 01:23:10,909
- All because of Paul?
- No.

1223
01:23:12,909 --> 01:23:15,294
He got me out of myself.

1224
01:23:15,579 --> 01:23:17,584
He broke through.

1225
01:23:18,415 --> 01:23:20,836
Now I'm back in this awful shell.

1226
01:23:22,170 --> 01:23:26,761
It's like living underwater.
Everything is muffled and far away.

1227
01:23:27,508 --> 01:23:28,766
I'm here.

1228
01:23:29,385 --> 01:23:31,390
Thank you, William.

1229
01:23:32,263 --> 01:23:34,269
I said I'd save you and I will.

1230
01:23:35,767 --> 01:23:37,025
How, William?

1231
01:23:37,769 --> 01:23:39,490
With love.

1232
01:23:39,605 --> 01:23:41,776
oh?

1233
01:23:42,900 --> 01:23:45,984
I love you. I fell in love with the
back of your head at that concert

1234
01:23:46,029 --> 01:23:47,280
I will always love you!

1235
01:23:49,115 --> 01:23:52,627
God, William, can't you see I'm an invalid?

1236
01:23:55,288 --> 01:23:59,002
I am going to marry a sweet, dull man

1237
01:23:59,126 --> 01:24:01,807
who will never overexcite me.

1238
01:24:05,299 --> 01:24:07,435
I liked your sister, William.

1239
01:24:08,636 --> 01:24:10,891
I wish I was more like her.

1240
01:24:11,931 --> 01:24:15,028
A free spirit, spontaneous.

1241
01:24:19,398 --> 01:24:20,821
Goodbye, William.

1242
01:24:25,279 --> 01:24:27,249
I'm so tired.

1243
01:24:40,754 --> 01:24:42,724
What is it, Bill?

1244
01:24:45,968 --> 01:24:47,522
Oh, Bill.

1245
01:24:50,848 --> 01:24:52,818
Stay in here for a bit.

1246
01:25:43,989 --> 01:25:45,959
I'm sorry.

1247
01:25:46,868 --> 01:25:49,169
- It was lovely.
- You are beautiful.

1248
01:26:02,801 --> 01:26:05,222
Look. You've stopped trembling.

1249
01:26:05,846 --> 01:26:07,733
Oh, God. Percy.

1250
01:26:07,974 --> 01:26:13,147
Oh, pooey. It's my duty as a nurse.
I was giving first aid.

1251
01:26:14,063 --> 01:26:17,243
My Hippocratic oath
forbids me to tell Percy about it.

1252
01:26:18,067 --> 01:26:19,361
Hmm.

1253
01:26:22,322 --> 01:26:24,624
See? All better.

1254
01:26:27,078 --> 01:26:28,329
Cured.

1255
01:26:30,790 --> 01:26:32,041
Yes!

1256
01:26:33,043 --> 01:26:35,297
I'm on the list.

1257
01:26:35,837 --> 01:26:37,095
I'm on the list!

1258
01:26:38,673 --> 01:26:40,643
Oh, shit.

1259
01:26:47,391 --> 01:26:49,231
Sir.

1260
01:26:56,943 --> 01:26:58,450
Yes, sir?

1261
01:26:58,779 --> 01:27:00,451
Go in.

1262
01:27:03,408 --> 01:27:04,659
Well?

1263
01:27:04,993 --> 01:27:07,758
- Sir, it's about my posting.
- Posting?

1264
01:27:08,205 --> 01:27:09,456
Korea, sir.

1265
01:27:10,040 --> 01:27:11,292
Well?

1266
01:27:11,959 --> 01:27:16,468
Well, sir, you said
it might be different if...

1267
01:27:17,215 --> 01:27:18,769
If what?

1268
01:27:18,884 --> 01:27:20,141
If the clock...

1269
01:27:20,761 --> 01:27:22,018
Out with it.

1270
01:27:22,554 --> 01:27:24,607
If I could tell you something
about the clock.

1271
01:27:24,974 --> 01:27:26,225
Well?

1272
01:27:28,226 --> 01:27:31,739
It was Sergeant Hapgood, sir.
He took it.

1273
01:27:35,902 --> 01:27:39,331
Show us exactly what you did, Redmond.

1274
01:27:46,831 --> 01:27:48,836
The fucking window's closed, you twat.

1275
01:27:49,500 --> 01:27:52,633
Yes, sir. I opened the window
before I picked up the clock,

1276
01:27:52,753 --> 01:27:56,135
I threw it out, the clock, sir,
then I closed the window after.

1277
01:27:56,257 --> 01:27:58,309
Do it again. Do it right.

1278
01:28:15,111 --> 01:28:19,169
I waited till Osbourne was
in the kitchen, then I did it quick.

1279
01:28:20,200 --> 01:28:23,332
- Osbourne?
- Must have been very quick, sir.

1280
01:28:23,620 --> 01:28:26,338
I was only in the kitchen
to drop off the crockery, like.

1281
01:28:26,582 --> 01:28:30,639
All right, we'll time it.
Osbourne, off to the kitchen.

1282
01:28:30,878 --> 01:28:32,800
Redmond, do the business.

1283
01:28:37,552 --> 01:28:38,976
Go!

1284
01:28:53,444 --> 01:28:55,165
Caught red-handed.

1285
01:28:55,697 --> 01:28:58,599
What did you do when you saw
Redmond holding the clock, Osbourne?

1286
01:28:58,624 --> 01:29:01,666
I didn't, sir.
I swear on my mothers life.

1287
01:29:01,787 --> 01:29:03,875
I don't give a fuck
about your mother's life.

1288
01:29:03,998 --> 01:29:07,095
She deserves to die for giving birth to you.

1289
01:29:08,251 --> 01:29:09,805
If you were in on it, Osbourne,

1290
01:29:10,254 --> 01:29:14,763
I swear, I'll cut your nuts off
and make you swallow them.

1291
01:29:15,885 --> 01:29:19,896
Sir, I... I saw nothing, sir.

1292
01:29:22,517 --> 01:29:25,567
So, Sergeant Hapgood,

1293
01:29:25,688 --> 01:29:28,867
Redmond says you told him
to throw the clock out the window.

1294
01:29:29,274 --> 01:29:30,567
Why would I do that, sir?

1295
01:29:30,692 --> 01:29:33,113
I'm asking the fucking questions!

1296
01:29:33,445 --> 01:29:35,996
- I did not.
- "I did not, sir!"

1297
01:29:36,324 --> 01:29:37,712
I did not, sir!

1298
01:29:38,117 --> 01:29:41,380
Redmond, why would you agree to this plan?

1299
01:29:41,621 --> 01:29:43,009
What did you hope to gain?

1300
01:29:43,415 --> 01:29:47,046
- Percy promised to pay me, sir.
- "Percy"? Your chum, is he?

1301
01:29:47,586 --> 01:29:50,470
Sergeant Hapgood, sir.
- And did he pay you?

1302
01:29:50,590 --> 01:29:53,520
Yes, sir. I went
straight to his quarters after.

1303
01:29:53,634 --> 01:29:57,181
He paid me.
Sergeant Rohan was there. He saw it.

1304
01:29:57,680 --> 01:29:59,768
Did Sergeant Hapgood have the clock?

1305
01:29:59,891 --> 01:30:04,032
- He got it. He had it.
- Did you see it in his quarters?

1306
01:30:04,438 --> 01:30:06,988
- He must have hid it, sir.
Sergeant Rohan.

1307
01:30:08,150 --> 01:30:10,701
Describe what transpired, if you will.

1308
01:30:11,737 --> 01:30:14,585
Private Redmond asked
Sergeant Hapgood if he had got it.

1309
01:30:14,782 --> 01:30:16,788
<i>The clock? He meant the clock?</i>

1310
01:30:17,202 --> 01:30:20,999
Sergeant Hapgood said, "Got what?"
Redmond said, "You know what."

1311
01:30:21,122 --> 01:30:22,925
Sergeant Hapgood said, 'No, I don't.'

1312
01:30:23,166 --> 01:30:24,839
Did he give Redmond money?

1313
01:30:26,920 --> 01:30:29,175
He put something in his hand, sir.

1314
01:30:29,298 --> 01:30:32,264
I owed him money for doing my brasses.

1315
01:30:32,927 --> 01:30:35,775
I never done anyone's brasses, sir.

1316
01:30:36,055 --> 01:30:38,025
I get nignogs to do my brasses.

1317
01:30:38,141 --> 01:30:40,277
It was for throwing the clock
out the window.

1318
01:30:44,355 --> 01:30:48,117
What a bunch of lying fucking wankers.

1319
01:30:48,860 --> 01:30:52,325
This clock is going to haunt you.
I swear, you will never be free of it.

1320
01:30:52,448 --> 01:30:54,952
You will rue the day.

1321
01:30:55,201 --> 01:30:56,624
Dismiss!

1322
01:31:00,248 --> 01:31:02,834
Sergeant Rohan, private word.

1323
01:31:06,838 --> 01:31:08,724
Let us imagine for a moment

1324
01:31:08,840 --> 01:31:11,724
that Sergeant Hapgood
was outside that window

1325
01:31:12,469 --> 01:31:15,234
and adroitly caught the flying clock.

1326
01:31:18,184 --> 01:31:21,150
Had he done so, he would have
taken it back to his quarters,

1327
01:31:21,271 --> 01:31:23,027
which, of course, he shares with you.

1328
01:31:23,148 --> 01:31:24,872
And you could hardly not have seen it,

1329
01:31:24,897 --> 01:31:27,077
thus implicating you in the robbery.

1330
01:31:27,194 --> 01:31:28,748
I did not see the clock, sir.

1331
01:31:29,196 --> 01:31:33,159
Don't be hasty, Sergeant.
Think carefully.

1332
01:31:34,785 --> 01:31:39,175
Next day, when the camp
was turned upside-down,

1333
01:31:39,290 --> 01:31:43,882
Hapgood succeeded in disposing
of the clock, if indeed he had it,

1334
01:31:44,004 --> 01:31:46,044
and you must have been aware
of how he did it.

1335
01:31:48,968 --> 01:31:50,558
Habeas corpus.

1336
01:31:51,011 --> 01:31:53,396
No clock, no case.

1337
01:31:53,973 --> 01:31:55,397
So, basically, he's saying

1338
01:31:55,516 --> 01:31:57,936
if you testify against me,
he'll let you off.

1339
01:31:58,060 --> 01:31:59,863
And if I don't, I'm as guilty as you.

1340
01:32:01,022 --> 01:32:05,779
The problem is, you look guilty.
I don't.

1341
01:32:07,320 --> 01:32:09,255
- Anything you left out?
- No, nothing.

1342
01:32:09,281 --> 01:32:11,962
What about when you went
to the hospital to see Ophelia?

1343
01:32:12,076 --> 01:32:14,757
Sophie was there, wasn't she? My Sophie.

1344
01:32:14,996 --> 01:32:17,048
You left that out. I wonder why'?

1345
01:32:17,290 --> 01:32:19,627
- Didn't I mention that?
- No, you fucking didn't.

1346
01:32:19,913 --> 01:32:22,044
- Where's Redmond?
- He's locked up in his cell.

1347
01:32:22,069 --> 01:32:25,284
For his own safety. Afraid
that I'm going to fucking kill him.

1348
01:32:26,341 --> 01:32:28,560
Look, just give it back, the clock.

1349
01:32:28,802 --> 01:32:31,270
Let's make a deal.
We give it back, they drop charges.

1350
01:32:31,634 --> 01:32:34,038
- You've made that deal, haven't you?
- Of course not.

1351
01:32:34,063 --> 01:32:36,033
To save your own skin, you lying shit!

1352
01:32:37,061 --> 01:32:39,031
And you fucked Sophie.

1353
01:32:40,899 --> 01:32:43,035
You betrayed me, your friend,

1354
01:32:43,151 --> 01:32:45,287
and you haven't even got the guts to fight.

1355
01:32:57,917 --> 01:33:00,847
I did not make a deal with
Major Cross. I denied everything!

1356
01:33:01,337 --> 01:33:04,185
But you did fuck Sophie?

1357
01:33:05,842 --> 01:33:07,136
It was a moment of madness.

1358
01:33:08,761 --> 01:33:10,149
Ophelia had just dumped me.

1359
01:33:10,722 --> 01:33:12,774
Ophelia was out of your class.

1360
01:33:13,684 --> 01:33:16,365
Sophie wanted you, not me.

1361
01:33:16,854 --> 01:33:18,740
They know what they want, women.

1362
01:33:19,023 --> 01:33:21,823
I'm sorry, Percy.

1363
01:33:21,943 --> 01:33:26,333
Well, I fucked your sister, so we're even.

1364
01:33:42,924 --> 01:33:46,851
- How did you...
- Work it out? Same way as you did.

1365
01:33:47,387 --> 01:33:49,227
Only way to get it out of the camp.

1366
01:33:49,348 --> 01:33:50,819
I was complicit, sir. I...

1367
01:33:50,933 --> 01:33:53,021
No, he didn't. He knew nothing about it.

1368
01:33:53,144 --> 01:33:57,569
Sergeant Hapgood, your court martial
has been arranged for next week.

1369
01:33:58,148 --> 01:34:01,245
Lieutenant Fortesque-Brown,
to my right, will defend you.

1370
01:34:02,153 --> 01:34:04,288
In the meantime, you are under house arrest,

1371
01:34:04,989 --> 01:34:07,326
under the supervision of Sergeant Rohan.

1372
01:34:07,450 --> 01:34:08,708
Dismiss.

1373
01:34:21,715 --> 01:34:23,887
Shepton Mallet Military Prison.

1374
01:34:24,010 --> 01:34:26,730
The name is enough to strike fear
in the bravest of soldiers,

1375
01:34:26,755 --> 01:34:28,648
let alone a fucking conscript.

1376
01:34:28,765 --> 01:34:31,020
I was Sergeant Major there for a year.

1377
01:34:31,143 --> 01:34:35,449
Hell on Earth, Hapgood. Hell on Earth.

1378
01:34:37,233 --> 01:34:39,819
How dare you take my clock!

1379
01:34:43,365 --> 01:34:46,248
- Have you done this before?
- Actually not.

1380
01:34:46,492 --> 01:34:48,498
- Any legal training?
- No.

1381
01:34:48,870 --> 01:34:51,504
But then, we're not expecting
to win, are we?

1382
01:34:51,873 --> 01:34:54,887
The best we can do is, um...
Oh, sit up, for God's sake.

1383
01:34:55,002 --> 01:34:57,269
The best we can do
is get some character references

1384
01:34:57,294 --> 01:35:00,723
to say what a good chap you are
and hope to reduce your sentence.

1385
01:35:00,883 --> 01:35:03,054
- Right.
- Some names?

1386
01:35:03,261 --> 01:35:05,681
Private Redmond and Sergeant Major Bradley.

1387
01:35:06,014 --> 01:35:07,485
How do I Contact them?

1388
01:35:07,808 --> 01:35:09,528
Redmond's on his way to Korea

1389
01:35:09,643 --> 01:35:11,684
and Bradleys in
a military hospital somewhere.

1390
01:35:11,770 --> 01:35:13,905
I'm not a <i>fool,</i> Sergeant.

1391
01:35:16,859 --> 01:35:19,362
It says here that your father
was killed in the war.

1392
01:35:19,737 --> 01:35:23,368
- It could help our case.
- I don't want him used for this.

1393
01:35:23,866 --> 01:35:27,331
I see here he was a rear gunner
in Lancaster bombers.

1394
01:35:27,454 --> 01:35:28,877
Very high mortality rate.

1395
01:35:30,082 --> 01:35:33,713
He, um, came out of a pub pissed
and fell under a truck.

1396
01:35:33,836 --> 01:35:36,933
They gave him the Distinguished
Flying Cross for that?

1397
01:35:38,465 --> 01:35:40,560
You are determined not to help your cause.

1398
01:35:41,343 --> 01:35:43,230
But I insist you see a psychiatrist.

1399
01:35:43,930 --> 01:35:45,769
Yours is not normal behaviour.

1400
01:35:53,524 --> 01:35:55,494
Get up off your knees.

1401
01:36:01,198 --> 01:36:04,055
If you want to do a runner, Percy,
I'll get you out of the camp.

1402
01:36:04,535 --> 01:36:05,828
Right now, tonight.

1403
01:36:06,746 --> 01:36:09,795
- What, and drop you in it?
- I can handle that.

1404
01:36:10,375 --> 01:36:12,677
- You'd do that for me?
- Yes.

1405
01:36:13,086 --> 01:36:14,640
- Why'?
- Why'?

1406
01:36:15,172 --> 01:36:16,513
Why... Why do you think?

1407
01:36:17,258 --> 01:36:19,144
Guilt, I expect.

1408
01:36:20,678 --> 01:36:21,930
Fuck you.

1409
01:36:27,518 --> 01:36:29,109
Good luck, Percy.

1410
01:36:29,729 --> 01:36:30,980
Attention!

1411
01:36:31,982 --> 01:36:35,114
All right, let's get this over with.

1412
01:36:36,278 --> 01:36:38,533
This court martial is now in session.

1413
01:36:39,757 --> 01:36:41,008
Prisoner and escort.

1414
01:36:41,033 --> 01:36:44,415
Quick march. Left, right.
Left, right. Left, right.

1415
01:36:44,537 --> 01:36:46,128
Left, right. Mark time.

1416
01:36:48,207 --> 01:36:49,679
Halt.

1417
01:36:50,501 --> 01:36:52,507
Prisoner and escort salute.

1418
01:36:53,546 --> 01:36:55,678
You're accused of stealing
the regimental clock.

1419
01:36:55,703 --> 01:36:56,954
How do you plead?

1420
01:36:57,801 --> 01:36:59,688
Guilty as charged, sir.

1421
01:37:00,805 --> 01:37:02,857
Major Cross, prosecuting, proceed.

1422
01:37:08,230 --> 01:37:10,698
Sergeant Hapgood,
were you aware that this clock

1423
01:37:10,816 --> 01:37:14,114
was of great sentimental importance
to the regiment?

1424
01:37:15,028 --> 01:37:16,279
Yes, sir.

1425
01:37:16,613 --> 01:37:20,042
- Was this clock of value to you?
- No, sir.

1426
01:37:20,367 --> 01:37:22,871
So stealing the clock
was an act of deliberate malice

1427
01:37:22,995 --> 01:37:24,502
towards the regiment?

1428
01:37:24,789 --> 01:37:26,794
It was a protest against the RSM.

1429
01:37:27,250 --> 01:37:28,638
Why the RSM?

1430
01:37:30,879 --> 01:37:35,139
Because...
Because he is a sadistic bully.

1431
01:37:35,551 --> 01:37:37,722
You're not helping your cause, Sergeant.

1432
01:37:40,597 --> 01:37:42,603
Lieutenant Fortesque-Brown, proceed.

1433
01:37:43,434 --> 01:37:46,317
Sir, I ask the court

1434
01:37:46,437 --> 01:37:51,658
to hear the testimony
of Major Smythe, a psychiatrist.

1435
01:37:51,985 --> 01:37:54,287
I won't have a trick cyclist in my court.

1436
01:37:54,652 --> 01:37:56,511
The minds of soldiers belong to the Army,

1437
01:37:56,536 --> 01:37:59,254
not to some dubious branch
of the medical profession.

1438
01:37:59,577 --> 01:38:01,713
He is in attendance, sir.

1439
01:38:01,828 --> 01:38:03,252
Request denied.

1440
01:38:03,872 --> 01:38:08,215
Sir, if I may summarise
Major Smythe's opinion.

1441
01:38:08,419 --> 01:38:12,560
He says that Sergeant Hapgood
is claustrophobic

1442
01:38:12,674 --> 01:38:14,347
and living in a closed camp

1443
01:38:14,468 --> 01:38:18,146
has exerted unendurable pressure
on his mind.

1444
01:38:19,140 --> 01:38:20,979
Smuggling the clock out of the camp

1445
01:38:21,100 --> 01:38:24,695
was his way of relieving that pressure.

1446
01:38:25,105 --> 01:38:27,490
I won't have it, I tell you.

1447
01:38:27,815 --> 01:38:30,082
- Strike it from the record.
- Yes, sir.

1448
01:38:30,108 --> 01:38:31,815
Sir, respectfully, I would remind you

1449
01:38:31,936 --> 01:38:34,666
that Sergeant Major Bradley and others

1450
01:38:34,781 --> 01:38:37,185
have recently succumbed
to the pressures of this camp.

1451
01:38:37,242 --> 01:38:39,374
There have been two suicides
in the last quarter

1452
01:38:39,411 --> 01:38:41,417
and several unsuccessful attempts.

1453
01:38:41,914 --> 01:38:43,421
Are you a conscript, Lieutenant?

1454
01:38:43,541 --> 01:38:44,964
- Yes, sir.
- Enough said.

1455
01:38:45,460 --> 01:38:49,257
I have to process 400 conscripts
through this camp every six weeks.

1456
01:38:49,464 --> 01:38:52,679
We're all under pressure.
Put up with it. Get over it.

1457
01:38:53,551 --> 01:38:55,639
All done? Right.

1458
01:38:55,762 --> 01:38:58,064
- Sir, may I call Sergeant Rohan?
- What for?

1459
01:38:58,390 --> 01:39:00,063
Character witness, sir.

1460
01:39:01,185 --> 01:39:03,689
Very well.
Have your say and make it quick.

1461
01:39:06,149 --> 01:39:09,032
- A loyal friend, sir and...
- And what?

1462
01:39:10,320 --> 01:39:14,329
We did the commando training together
and he came out on top of the course.

1463
01:39:14,514 --> 01:39:17,162
- He could kill you with his bare hands if...
- If what?

1464
01:39:17,473 --> 01:39:18,816
If necessary.

1465
01:39:20,455 --> 01:39:23,173
Not you, sir. I meant the enemy.

1466
01:39:24,794 --> 01:39:26,929
Well, I don't have to be
concerned about that,

1467
01:39:27,505 --> 01:39:29,557
because Hapgood will be in Shepton Mallet

1468
01:39:29,674 --> 01:39:32,225
serving three months for stealing the clock,

1469
01:39:32,344 --> 01:39:34,314
two weeks for impugning the RSM

1470
01:39:34,596 --> 01:39:37,776
and a further month
for showing no contrition.

1471
01:39:38,517 --> 01:39:39,769
Sir.

1472
01:39:41,979 --> 01:39:43,747
Yes, of course. It goes without saying.

1473
01:39:43,772 --> 01:39:46,572
Sergeant Hapgood reduced to the tanks.

1474
01:39:46,776 --> 01:39:49,196
Very well.
This court is no longer in session.

1475
01:39:49,404 --> 01:39:51,243
God bless Her Majesty.

1476
01:39:51,781 --> 01:39:53,917
Prisoner and escort salute.

1477
01:39:55,077 --> 01:39:56,328
About turn.

1478
01:39:57,538 --> 01:40:01,845
Quick march. Left, right.
Left, right. Left, right. Left, right.

1479
01:40:01,959 --> 01:40:03,799
Left, right. Left, right...

1480
01:40:16,600 --> 01:40:18,320
Cheers!

1481
01:40:24,484 --> 01:40:27,414
- Sorry about your chum.
- Thank you, sir.

1482
01:40:42,628 --> 01:40:46,591
Your mate Hapgood brought great shame
on this regiment today.

1483
01:40:47,091 --> 01:40:51,054
Men like me, Sergeant Rohan,
we fought for king and country,

1484
01:40:51,179 --> 01:40:52,686
we fought for what was right.

1485
01:40:52,805 --> 01:40:55,605
But you perks, you're weak,

1486
01:40:55,725 --> 01:40:58,573
'cause you've got no belief,
no faith in the flag,

1487
01:40:58,687 --> 01:41:02,199
no grit, no guts,
no god, no self-respect.

1488
01:41:02,566 --> 01:41:05,331
Our country is fucked. Fucked.

1489
01:41:05,444 --> 01:41:07,829
Your country, sir, but our country is not.

1490
01:41:09,157 --> 01:41:12,150
I said, "I'm the Skiver.
You're the one with the donkey."

1491
01:41:13,662 --> 01:41:15,584
You should be in fucking Korea.

1492
01:41:15,706 --> 01:41:18,292
- Skived out of it, didn't I?
- Yeah, by fingering Percy.

1493
01:41:18,792 --> 01:41:20,263
Well, he dropped me in the shit

1494
01:41:20,377 --> 01:41:22,417
and he'd fuck you over, too,
if it suited him.

1495
01:41:26,300 --> 01:41:27,551
Was he coming on to you?

1496
01:41:27,635 --> 01:41:29,631
A uniform like that
could turn a girl's head.

1497
01:41:33,141 --> 01:41:35,063
He's a posh prick.

1498
01:41:35,185 --> 01:41:38,898
You're jealous, Bill. I'm so pleased.

1499
01:41:39,273 --> 01:41:41,537
Percy wanted me to let you know
why he couldn't come tonight.

1500
01:41:41,562 --> 01:41:43,365
Oh, the major told me all about it.

1501
01:41:43,443 --> 01:41:45,531
"Clever young chap
but foolhardy.

1502
01:41:45,654 --> 01:41:47,659
"Not worthy of you, my dear."

1503
01:41:47,781 --> 01:41:51,246
Going to a military prison
for four months is not funny.

1504
01:41:51,536 --> 01:41:55,249
It's terrible.
But it does make him a bit of a hero.

1505
01:41:55,373 --> 01:41:57,544
He'll like that.

1506
01:41:58,168 --> 01:42:00,138
Oh, don't be so pompous.

1507
01:42:01,380 --> 01:42:03,468
Might as well dance, since you're here.

1508
01:42:11,057 --> 01:42:15,482
About what happened,
what we did at the hospital.

1509
01:42:15,937 --> 01:42:18,488
- What was that?
- You know what.

1510
01:42:19,483 --> 01:42:21,702
Oh, that.

1511
01:42:22,027 --> 01:42:23,949
What about it?

1512
01:42:24,780 --> 01:42:27,664
I'm very sorry. It won't happen again.

1513
01:42:28,409 --> 01:42:30,711
Oh! How disappointing.

1514
01:42:55,313 --> 01:42:56,819
Unlock me for a minute, will you?

1515
01:42:56,939 --> 01:43:00,411
- I've got to get something out of my kit bag.
- Not a chance.

1516
01:43:00,652 --> 01:43:03,500
I'm hurt that you think
I'd run off on you, Bill.

1517
01:43:03,697 --> 01:43:05,619
You can get it now.

1518
01:43:07,284 --> 01:43:10,713
The Army allows you
to write one letter a week,

1519
01:43:10,830 --> 01:43:12,752
but you have to write it on an Army form

1520
01:43:12,874 --> 01:43:16,754
which has Shepton Mallet
Military Prison printed at the top.

1521
01:43:17,462 --> 01:43:21,275
I don't want my mum to know I'm in prison,
so I'll send the letters to you, Bill.

1522
01:43:21,520 --> 01:43:23,469
I want you to cut off the tops

1523
01:43:23,593 --> 01:43:26,180
and post them on in these stamped envelopes

1524
01:43:27,639 --> 01:43:29,063
to my mum

1525
01:43:29,391 --> 01:43:30,685
and she'll never know.

1526
01:43:30,810 --> 01:43:33,444
18 weeks' worth.
Why don't you just tell her?

1527
01:43:34,522 --> 01:43:37,453
'Cause it'd break her heart,
Dad being a war hero and all.

1528
01:43:42,489 --> 01:43:44,411
We've arrived at the station.

1529
01:43:45,659 --> 01:43:47,246
Someone we know is meeting us here.

1530
01:43:47,327 --> 01:43:48,579
Who?

1531
01:43:54,419 --> 01:43:57,598
- Hey! Come on.
- Hey!

1532
01:43:57,714 --> 01:44:01,848
- Look, there's your Uncle Billy.
- Robert. Linda. Look at you guys.

1533
01:44:01,885 --> 01:44:02,944
Hi.

1534
01:44:02,970 --> 01:44:04,266
- I'm your Uncle Bill.
- Hey.

1535
01:44:04,292 --> 01:44:07,858
Wow. Handcuffs.
Did they bust you, Uncle Bill?

1536
01:44:08,433 --> 01:44:10,455
They got you in the end, hey, Perce?

1537
01:44:10,570 --> 01:44:13,446
Well, Bradley, Redmond, me.
Bill's the last man standing.

1538
01:44:13,564 --> 01:44:16,744
- Still on the fence, Billy.
- Hmm.

1539
01:44:16,859 --> 01:44:20,122
Bill came through for me.
He's a better friend than I deserve.

1540
01:44:20,697 --> 01:44:24,494
- And he has a sexy sister.
- Yeah, 27, two kids.

1541
01:44:24,952 --> 01:44:26,673
Two beautiful kids.

1542
01:44:28,247 --> 01:44:30,751
I'm not going back to Canada.

1543
01:44:30,875 --> 01:44:33,130
May I come and see you after?

1544
01:44:33,878 --> 01:44:35,847
Please do.

1545
01:44:38,232 --> 01:44:39,484
All aboard!
- Oh!

1546
01:44:39,509 --> 01:44:41,810
Okay, we've got to go.
Come on, kids. Come on.

1547
01:44:42,846 --> 01:44:44,989
- Bye, Bill.
- Bye. We'll see you at Christmas.

1548
01:44:45,015 --> 01:44:48,112
Bye. See you soon!

1549
01:44:49,145 --> 01:44:50,486
Bye, boys!

1550
01:44:50,605 --> 01:44:53,322
- Bye, Uncle Bill!
- Bye, Percy!

1551
01:44:54,192 --> 01:44:55,663
Whoo!

1552
01:44:56,736 --> 01:45:00,579
- So, Dawn really got to you?
- Yeah. I'm a goner.

1553
01:45:11,252 --> 01:45:13,506
Sergeant Rohan delivering Private Hapgood.

1554
01:45:13,629 --> 01:45:14,955
Open the gates!

1555
01:45:14,981 --> 01:45:17,224
Well, Percy, see you in four months.

1556
01:45:19,261 --> 01:45:20,981
Long before that.

1557
01:45:21,512 --> 01:45:24,230
There must be some way
of breaking out of this place.

1558
01:45:31,065 --> 01:45:32,737
Come on! Come on!

1559
01:45:41,243 --> 01:45:44,874
And don't let Sophie
slip through your fingers.

1560
01:45:44,996 --> 01:45:48,516
Where are you gonna find tits like that
and a sense of humour all in one girl?

1561
01:45:48,542 --> 01:45:49,793
Thanks, Percy.

1562
01:45:50,127 --> 01:45:52,132
Come on, move it, you. Keep moving.

1563
01:46:15,362 --> 01:46:17,332
Sergeant Major Bradley?

1564
01:46:20,159 --> 01:46:22,924
- Wingate Ward, second floor.
- Thank you.

1565
01:46:40,139 --> 01:46:43,153
Hello, Sarge. It's me, Henderson.

1566
01:46:43,268 --> 01:46:45,985
- What are you in for?
- Frostbite.

1567
01:46:46,313 --> 01:46:48,283
You were right about the Korean weather.

1568
01:46:48,399 --> 01:46:50,700
Well, frostbite's not too bad.

1569
01:46:50,818 --> 01:46:55,410
Yeah, but then I stepped on a mine,
came back without my foot.

1570
01:46:56,032 --> 01:46:57,984
You were always larking about, Henderson.

1571
01:46:58,009 --> 01:47:01,169
Yeah, well, training was a bit of a lark.

1572
01:47:01,370 --> 01:47:03,257
But when they start shooting at you,

1573
01:47:03,373 --> 01:47:06,470
well, it wipes the smile off your face.

1574
01:47:07,711 --> 01:47:09,847
Yes.

1575
01:47:10,756 --> 01:47:13,639
We will continue with the therapy every day

1576
01:47:13,759 --> 01:47:15,765
and we'll see how you get on.

1577
01:47:16,930 --> 01:47:19,860
Sir. Sergeant Major Bradley?

1578
01:47:19,975 --> 01:47:21,945
He's in the end.

1579
01:47:30,903 --> 01:47:33,240
Bill Rohan, Sergeant Major.

1580
01:47:35,950 --> 01:47:38,964
I brought <i>you The Telegraph.</i>

1581
01:47:40,121 --> 01:47:41,877
For the crossword.

1582
01:47:53,927 --> 01:47:55,351
I just wanted to say...

1583
01:47:55,471 --> 01:48:00,781
There is nothing you can say

1584
01:48:01,686 --> 01:48:06,028
that is of any interest to me.

1585
01:48:07,776 --> 01:48:11,538
Your demeanour is slovenly.

1586
01:48:13,281 --> 01:48:16,545
Most slovenly.

1587
01:48:19,497 --> 01:48:21,169
Dismiss.

1588
01:48:24,044 --> 01:48:26,013
Dismiss, I say.

1589
01:48:33,179 --> 01:48:35,860
Post-traumatic stress syndrome.

1590
01:48:35,973 --> 01:48:38,274
They called it shell shock
in the First World War.

1591
01:48:38,684 --> 01:48:40,903
Half these lads suffer from it.

1592
01:48:41,187 --> 01:48:43,524
Bradley got a bad dose
in the Normandy invasions.

1593
01:48:43,731 --> 01:48:45,950
So living by the letter
of the Army law was...

1594
01:48:46,067 --> 01:48:48,452
Was his way of holding himself together.

1595
01:48:51,448 --> 01:48:53,952
- Thanks, Sarge.
- Take care of yourself, Henderson.

1596
01:48:54,285 --> 01:48:57,168
You know me, Sarge.
Always putting my foot in it.

1597
01:49:11,470 --> 01:49:15,018
<i>I served up my time
and went home to the river,</i>

1598
01:49:15,349 --> 01:49:19,991
<i>the river my mother had left to after our
house was destroyed during the London Blitz.</i>

1599
01:49:24,567 --> 01:49:26,537
<i>Everything was different now.</i>

1600
01:49:30,240 --> 01:49:31,877
Help! I'm drowning!

1601
01:49:35,371 --> 01:49:37,590
- Keep going, Sophie.
- Bill!

1602
01:49:37,707 --> 01:49:39,268
- Bill, help!
- It's really good.

1603
01:49:39,294 --> 01:49:41,510
Bill, help! I'm not acting!

1604
01:49:41,669 --> 01:49:43,057
Keep going.

1605
01:49:44,172 --> 01:49:45,596
Help me, please!

1606
01:49:46,133 --> 01:49:48,304
- Bill, I'm cramping!
- What?

1607
01:49:58,729 --> 01:50:00,699
Only kidding.

1608
01:50:00,815 --> 01:50:03,579
- Do you think that's funny?
- Yeah.