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What's the matter? Cornelius!
No! No! No!
Is that a bear?
- I think it's a man. - Human bear?
No, only a man.
Oh my God, oh, my God.
Damn, Woody.
I thought you said You immediately drive, man.
- What was that? - I think it's under the truck.
It's like that movie, where they ran that dude and they thought they killed 'im...
... but they don't and then he returns The next summer and then he kills them.
Damn, that will happen to us.
- We will die! - Damn, Woody, we won't die.
Now reverse this damn truck, so we can get it out of here
What's up
- Fuck this - Yes sir.
With a long anticipated senior year round the corner...
... I think it's time to join secret society of sleep addicts.
Who am I kidding?
I dream hard, but I have to give up if I want to go to a good college
I don't want to jinx myself. Forget school for now.
After today, officially week beach and I'm impatient
I went with my BFF since elementary school, Carrie...
-... and his stupe-ass boyfriend, Freddy. - Spring break, bitches.
I swear, one day, I hope he knocks He himself does that pose.
- Got a seat, Fredrick. - Yes ma'am.
Hey buddy.
Then there's Jason. She's my cousin.
That doesn't stop him from trying to move me. Barf.
Brooklyn, my other BFF, Samara douche girlfriend.
He moved here in sixth grade but still claims New York.
Ew, I hope he will come back.
Which brings me to Samara, he is in geometry...
... maybe chewing gum and playing with her hair.
So, the pen is for you, dear journal, let's make this one black, white, red...
... and awesome Whole.
Okay, class, calm down.
I want you to spend the rest class reading Chapter 13...
... on proteins that move into the membrane.
I have several proteins that need to be moved.
You can move yourself to the principal's office, if you like
That's what I thought. Now start reading, class.
# I woke up one morning and I kicked my dog
# I hit my neighbor's head with a big maple log
Then I call his fat-haired wife big fat hairy hero
# I have blues
# Mean blues blues #
- Yes, Pamela? - Can I be forgiven for the restroom?
- Hey, soldier - Hey you.
- Do you miss me? - Oh, little.
- You donkey - Okay all right.
- I miss you. - Take me out of here
Fuck the school!
Please calm down.
What happened?
I should have been throwing her ass for a long time.
What did he do this time?
Don't my chicken-block on the beach?
You have to go, no will be the same without you
There is no chance.
- Hey, Christine - Hey
- Do you talk to Samara? - Yeah, he didn't come
How many times did he put up with dirt?
One million.
I hope the child falls.
Yo.
This smell
- Dank - Stank killah
- Can I kiss? - This doesn't cut the Twinkies, Jason.
Fucking lard ass.
Oh, my God, what is he doing here?
What is he doing here?
- Samara doesn't come - I say he can still come
- Why did you do that? - Because he has weeds.
Lower my beans
Hello?
Bathroom?
This is behind.
Woody, Woody.
- What now? - Hey bro.
Go pay for gasoline, man.
This is not enough to get to Mexico.
Hey, asshole, what did you see?
- Let's get out of here - What are you doing, Woody?
Beer road Oh, shit.
Continue this route for 87 miles.
Yo, can GPS tell us where? can we get some bahak dank?
I hope.
So, what is the first thing you will do when you get to the beach?
I will get drunk.
I can't wait to just lie down.
Me too, and swim in the ocean.
- I can't wait for the motherfucker part. - Yeah, swim, sure.
You will swim with you Shirt again, Jason?
- What, I'm sunburned easily? - Yeah, this isn't because of your mother?
- Mits? - Yeah, man tits.
Shut up, Freddy.
I told you I was born with an extra thyroid.
- And two stomachs like cows. - Cows have four stomachs, stupid.
Don't be jealous because Jason has bigger breasts than you.
- Damn, Freddy. - Don't be a dick.
What?
Cool, weeds.
What, I can go down.
Hey, why, Samara pay again?
Oh, he has crabs, he doesn't want to give it to everyone
Smart.
Yes right.
Yes, I need to take you peek at the small town to BK...
... show how we go down for real, real.
Yeah, I can go for Whopper.
No, man, I'm talking about Brooklyn, stupid.
I thought you said you were from Syracuse.
Well, I mean, I But I often hang out in Brooklyn.
- That's where my cousin stayed. - Don't they like it, it's far apart?
Like hundreds of miles?
Yes, I live like I am right on the phone. What are you, riddler or whatever
Stop asking me so many questions. I tried turning this blunt.
You know, this nonsense here is truth.
What's up
Oh, shit, what. Yo, this guy is tough, yo.
- No, no. - Fucking perv.
Dirty!
What, I don't even know what you are talking about I have to go to the bathroom.
Hey, Jason, bring me sweet tea.
Hi, where is your bathroom?
Who wants to know?
Eh, I I really need to use your bathroom, miss
- This is behind, honey. - Thank you.
Honey, don't you forget something?
- You need a key. - Oh.
Thank you.
Don't you go and water you bloody tampon on the toilet...
... and leave them all away, you throw them in fucking garbage, you hear?
Um, okay
All your high school girls bleed like Dracula fucked Willy Wonka...
... and forming a blood plant and Slaughtering all Oompa Loompas...
... and make Mary's group bloody.
Vagina Coyote Uglies.
Many Draculas wives come out at night in the city...
... and going to bachelor parties and all have their periods at the same time.
Yes ma'am.
Oh my God.
What's up
- Okay, are you ready? - Just zoom in.
- This is very chaotic, Freddy. - Shut up or I'll bring you again.
Ready.
It exists.
You better not catch me this time.
You are safe, for now
Fuck.
What does he do?
Dropping children in the pool and giving them swimming lessons?
You are so dirty
Damn it!
I know I can't believe it. Damn, I know that!
Just relax, Dirk, you don't want the Hulk to come out.
It's been six weeks because you have been laid down, only...
... just gets cold
- Hey - Hey
What's wrong, you look like someone killed your cat
Cats? I don't have a damn cat.
Are you my fault for someone else?
This is an expression, what is your problem?
Express this, bitch.
Hello, Dirk
Cats? I am a damn dog, don't you know me at all
Whoa, whoa, what the hell?
- Interesting! - Oh, my God, Carrie!
Freddy, pull up.
- Oh, what did you eat? - Shut up, Freddy.
Oh, damn it!
Maybe he just needs to eat grass or something.
Really, Freddy?
Now that's what my dog does When his stomach starts to get upset.
- You don't look bad - I feel better.
- are you sure - Yes, I think it's just something I eat.
- School cafeteria, I don't know. - Yeah, looks like a corn dog Friday.
Let's leave here.
Why are you silent, Jason?
Holy shit hole.
Okay, Jason, let's go.
- For what? - Because I said
I have something important to tell you.
No, no, you will only tell me something stupid when we go in there.
- Guys, just go. - Yeah, leave, Freddy.
Go from the car.
All right, God.
Hey, how do you feel?
Better, only experience a few large cramps.
- are you starting - No, I already have it
Yeah, baby, choke me
Come on baby.
Go easy, baby, it's not so tight.
It's hot.
You never kinky like that, baby
- Are you on the lap? - Yes, sorry
We did it when I was cheerful before.
Not with me.
- What can I do for you? - We want two rooms.
The size of the king Smoker or not?
- No, we want two rooms. - Two rooms?
Are you with another partner?
No, they are for us.
Well, you know they aren't connected, right?
We are not gay.
Don't you hold his penis on the way?
Because I don't like cleaning blood from sheets and dirt from the ceiling.
No sir.
Okay, two non-gay rooms.
That will be 69.35.
Check out is 11am. Do you want to lick my ball?
- What? - Do you want to lick my ball?
Excuse me, sir, again?
I said you want a wake up call.
Oh no, we're good.
You are ready The room is at the end of the building on the left.
Thank you.
Oh, my friends?
Enjoy your stay
Thank you.
Hey, I know we have two beds, but why not? Do you go ahead and sleep in the car, buddy?
What? No. I paid for one of the rooms.
Come on, I'm just trying to get some time alone with Carrie.
No, man, forget that. Plus, man, He smells like a corn dog and vomits.
Only 10 minutes gimme, I will wave your hand when I'm done.
- No, man, I'm tired. - What if I remove your butt plug?
Okay, alright, 10 minutes, Freddy.
- We are on the beach yet? - No, we stop overnight.
- Jason, what are you doing - I think he wants to jerk or something.
No, Freddy said I had to sleep in a car so he could have sex with Carrie.
- You're fat - You can't be trusted
You really are a dick, Freddy.
Now see what you made me do?
And if I see you stepping one foot in the room...
... I'll upset you
- Freddy! - What, I'm not doing anything Babe, are you still upset because what is fat?
Because I will kick her ass if you want me.
What, I will, for you.
I will not let anyone respect my girl.
Oh come on, Freddy.
No, I'm real. You can't let little punk like that reach you.
Throughout your life, you will find people who constantly want to drop you...
... because you're a good person. I know, because I'm a good person.
Freddy, I don't have sex with you
What sex That is the furthest thing from my mind.
- Unless you want to. - No, I don't feel well.
- Babe, I have a blue ball. - Good, I hope they fall.
How can you say that? Our twins come in There, Fredrick the second and Fredrina.
I am sick here Are you seriously still talking?
There is no such thing as a blue ball, it's just something that people say to lay down.
Not just a blue ball, people in me family has a long history of producing...
... 10 times the amount of testosterone from the average Greek god or gorilla.
We have to have sex every day, preferably 10 times a day.
Yes, so you told me
Then you know it can lead to penile explosive syndrome.
Rumors say that the last Pope died from him.
Freddy, if you don't get a fuck out of my face with that crap...
... You will be lucky to be able to make this trip.
Damn your loss, whore
- Can I at least jerk in your ass? - Exit!
The blue ball sucks.
Are you okay, kid?
Yes, I'm fine, I only have a leak. Our bathroom smelled a bit funny.
Well, you know if you shake it more than three times, you play with it.
Yes, I've heard it. But I'm just in seconds shake, so I'm good.
Good.
Yes, there, there.
Carrie, come here, ride my left testicle.
Smart girl, oh, just like that.
Jason, go away.
Carrie, oh yeah.
Bad luck charlie horse.
Carrie!
There is someone or something out there.
I think he wants my shoes.
- Are you okay? - Why?
Do I not look okay?
No, you... you look great.
Your hair is beautiful.
- I want you to help me. - Yeah, what?
I want you to fuck me as hard as you can.
What?
I want you to make love to me...
... as hard as you can.
Damn it
Why do you smoke here?
To eliminate the smell of sex.
Does not smell like sex here.
Not yet.
I don't have sex with you.
Aight, aight, aight, how about...
... good blow job for big red apples?
What? Ew, no
- So you will do it for free, then? - are you stupid We don't associate it.
Okay, Sherlock...
... why do you think we feel comfortable? here in the same room together?
This is supposed to be me and Samara's room.
And Samara invited me.
And you and Samara aren't together anymore.
That's why he isn't here.
- City is better first time. - But I heard Pat, like shaking and shit.
Who are you texting
- Only one of my friends. - Mm-hm.
- Guy or girl? - Girl.
He sent me a photo of his new puppy.
Oh really?
- Yeah. - Let me see.
I have to delete it, my in-box is full.
Are you jealous?
Fuck this
What's wrong with you?
If you say a puppy, do you really mean a big fat penis?
I don't even know what you're talking about.
- Oh really? - right
I saw photos on your phone, Pam.
Do you go through my phone? How crazy are you
Not crazy enough to be with you.
Fucker.
Dirk, you better come back here, you pussy, or I will never make love again.
I've been better off making love at the training camp.
Beladau.
Damn, kid, you like you farting from urinating.
- I'm sorry, sir - Is everything okay with your room?
Yes, the room is good, it's just a bitch in it
- Hey, dickbag - Excuse me?
You got a bloody hitchhiker riding with you.
Hold it again while I flick it.
- thank you - don't mention that
- Fuck me - Me.
- Fuck me - Me!
Carrie?
Oh, what's up?
Oh, damn it!
Oh, shit.
Oh yeah.
There, oh, this is amazing.
Yes.
- I wonder when you will come. - Oh, what's the matter?
That's pretty good goose eggs You have your noggin.
Why don't you put your peter? back to your pants
Follow the chicken's butt choke with me and I will make Miss fix you.
No, I'm fine, man.
What's up
Carrie? What's with the lamp?
Carrie?
Oh, here it is
And you are naked. Very pleasant surprise
You are waiting for me
What can you do for you?
I know. Freddy will fix you right.
Oh yeah.
I've been waiting for him this week.
You are a little dry
I will wet you with my tongue.
You smell a little tonight, honey... But, I like it when you smell.
Some of your dinners slip into lunch boxes, baby, but I also like nuts.
Man, your clitoris is so swollen It's like two clitoris.
and bananas.
Let me get a little Freddy there...
... I mean, big Freddy there, now.
You are a little extra tight, baby.
Oh yeah.
Fuck. Ah, this feels good.
Fuck.
Oh, shit.
I will have to hit you on refilling.
Brooklyn, I invite Samara, he invites you.
You two are not together anymore, However, you are here and he is not.
Do you understand what I say?
So, what you say is...
... I make you feel safe
What? Where did you get an idea like that?
This is aight, aight, I know what you mean
I will protect you.
Do you see this?
This is considered a deadly weapon.
They are registered in all 65 states.
I shouldn't wear it now.
Why do you think I have to move from Brooklyn? Because I am banned Do you want to know what my soldier's name is?
Big Fat Dick Turns Off Hands.
I can't even jerk with this bad boy no more.
I will take a walk.
Cool, can you bring me sweet tea? and some Ginger Snaps?
Yes, of course.
Oh yeah dear.
Oh, you still have a good handle on me.
Feels like someone is ready for the second round.
Oh, shit. You like that, baby
Yes, you are like that.
Oh
Okay, I'll go again.
Oh, oh, yeah, oh yeah.
Oh
Good.
Carrie?
Come on. Come on, relax, Carrie.
Come on, I can't pull it out.
Carrie, come on.
Come on, you have to release it.
Carrie?
What's the matter?
Oh, what's up?
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.
Fuck you, fat faggy fuck.
Come on let's go.
Release me, you're fat, fat.
Oh no, no, no, no, no, run away from me...
... you're fat, fat, damn
Fuck, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No no No.
- thank you - You're welcome.
Mute strangers with courtesy?
I'm just trying to change Mischievous strangers are bad rep.
I'm sorry, did you hit me?
What?
But I just found out he had deceived me
Oh my God, forgive me
I feel like an idiot.
No, this is cool.
Don't worry about that.
Wait.
I am Christine
I am Dirk So are you heading to the beach, or...
me. Not so sure now.
- you? - Yes, me and my BFF.
That's cool
Um...
... so you're in the Army right?
Yes, me, until a few weeks ago.
Long story, bad ending.
You really are enough rolls, aren't you, Dirk?
Yes, that's for sure.
- Do you want to talk about it? - Mm, no, that's cool
I will not judge you
Good.
Are you abroad?
No, local
I just left the training camp and realized it wasn't really my thing.
No?
Na, that's more or less my father's dream.
Do you know, on average, 12 people a year die from vending machines falling on them?
Do vending machines only randomly fall into people?
Oh no. Most of the time, people are just upset.
They lose their money or their snacks and they shake it.
The others are random. Like, accidentally an earthquake.
And why did you put your seller? machine expertise displayed for me?
Are you trying to impress a girl?
Well, dangerous vending machines, dark motels...
... late at night.
Shouldn't you have your girlfriend take care of this?
- Well, I don't have a boyfriend. - Oh no?
- No. - Cool.
- So you hit me - What if I?
That depends. Are you a psychotic rapist?
What if I am?
I mean, no, no, it's not like that at all.
- I don't think you will tell me if you are. - No, no, I will say something.
Psychotic rapists take serious oaths.
OK, Dirk, keep going and beat me. See where it will take you
Good.
Oh, oh, I'm so sorry I'm sorry.
Damn, you are a big and strong bastard.
What's up
Release me!
Go.
The lights go out.
This is the worst spring break ever.
So, after I graduate, I will go to the vet's school.
- Oh, so you like animals? - No, I hate them
Duh.
- My father is also a veterinarian. - Oh, your father is in war?
Shut up, Dirk.
But, yeah, I'm a little little girl dad.
Oh well, I'm also a little daddy girl.
You are really smart.
Okay, okay, cut it.
No, me, I'm more than a momma boy.
What is your father thinking? about you leaving the Army?
Well, he doesn't know I'm leaving.
According to him I graduated, he even bought me a gun as a graduation gift.
Just really don't have Hearts to say that I'm gone.
Well, I'm sure he will understand.
So, are you a cat or a dog?
Good...
... I love all animals, but since then you really want to categorize me...
... I must say that I am a cat.
- Oh, paralyzed - What?
No, you're a cat, you're just weird.
- We don't. - No?
- No. - No, really, that's how it is.
Did you know, on average, that 12 old women a year...
... die by their cat? Eat life
- This is the statistics again. - No, really, I'm serious.
I'm not talking about people who just...
... horde like 78 of them in their single-wide trailers.
Sometimes, that's what only has one or two of them.
They forget to feed them one night and the next thing you know...
... bam! Kitten chow.
And you cat people are famous for violence.
- No. - Yes.
And one more thing, cats are so stupid.
Now a dog, it's a smart animal.
Cats are much smarter than dogs.
- Oh really? - Mm-hm.
How many cats sniff drugs ever heard?
12.
- What was that? - Sounds like Carrie.
Carrie?
Stay with me.
- Dirk! - Forgive me! That is a reaction.
Fuck, run!
Go!
Get the key, take the key, take the key.
- Hurry, go, go, go, go, go. - Alright, alright, alright!
Dirt.
What are you doing? Oh, my God!
Yo, zombie bitch
Carrie, what happened to you?
You are my BFF.
Why? Why?
Someone told me he is no longer your friend
What is happening?
I don't think we have to endure to find out.
Dirk, Dirk!
No no No!
Down!
Are you okay?
Yes I think so. Are you alright?
No, what is happening? and why doesn't the person die?
I don't know
Oh my God, I called the police.
Hi, yes, police? You have to send someone quickly.
My best friend just tried to kill me.
I think it is something he eats or is it in time.
Redwood Motel.
Christine. Yes, please, hurry up.
Have you seen my key?
Oh, Carrie.
Come on, come to daddy.
Oh, Carrie.
What, no, no, no, no! No!
Beladau!
Carrie, please release me.
Kick him on vag.
- Are you okay? - No!
Fuck.
Come on let's come on.
- Yo, shorty, where am I Ginger Snaps? - Brooklyn...
... I will need you to listen to me very carefully.
Who was invited by John McClain? And what's with the burner, John.
This is for protection. And you need to listen to your friends.
Yo, only pussies carry weapons. You see this here
- Yo, do you see this? - Brooklyn!
Carrie has died and she tried to kill us.
Who is Carrie?
He is still out there.
- are you real? - no nonsense
Look at yourself.
I don't see no bitch.
Fuck, fuck, oh, what the hell?
- Take me out, let's go out. - Hey, hi, relax!
We have to stay calm, okay?
- And who are you? - I'm the one who will save your ass Call me Dirk
What? Is this person real?
Hey, send it? What is the address at that location again?
713 Brandel Road, be the roger.
Yes, that roger, I'm on location.
I don't see any sign of interference.
Come on, come on, little Freddy, Let's leave here.
Yes, I'm not gay, I'm not gay, this can happen to anyone, right?
Oh, what will I say to my pastor?
Oh, shit.
- Who is this? - Police, open.
- really - Yes, right, open the door.
Wait a minute.
- Sir, open the door - Only one more second.
Open the door now.
- Open the door now! - I'm a little busy now.
If you will leave your name, your number is in the tone...
... I will definitely come back to you as soon as possible, beep.
Sir, I will give you a count of three and then I will kick the entrance
- One. Two. - Wait a minute.
Three!
- What happened here? - No, man, we just slept.
- Sir. - Sir, he's tired of tired
Um, it's just finished, you know.
You are from like California or the like?
No, we just head to the beach and we just stop here overnight.
Yes, what happened to your head?
I was caught in a zipper?
Do you hear other sounds or anything? Like screams or something?
Other than us Not too.
Well, what if you keep going down, then, huh?
Yes, sir, thank you.
What was that?
Nothing, he only has nightmares. Isn't that right, honey?
- You are only safe - You too, sir, I hope it's nice tonight.
How can I think your ball is two lines?
- Your gun, sir - Good. I delayed it.
We call you, sir.
- Good and easy, here it is. - Someone or something...
-... trying to kill us - Back slowly.
Keep your hands where I can see them.
- Why don't you listen to us? - Miss Hand where I can see them.
Delivery, yes, I'm to the motel and I don't know what's happening here
You stabbed death So tell them to send the damn SWAT team...
-... and bring your mother's army. - Christine?
And among all those fucks, Tell them to pray for damn miracles...
... that I don't push the fireball into your ass!
Young lady, don't move!
- Sir? - Miss!
- Sir? - What?
Yo, get rid of that crap.
Hey, freeze!
I never jerk again.
Oh, what's up?
What is this really annoying?
Original in English
Jason, what the hell, man?
What's the matter Stop.
What's up
No.
Jason, what the hell, man?
Jason, what are you doing, man?
Jason, stop.
Jason. No, Jason!
You will not come out of that door. No, I won't look like this.
No! Stop it! You won't make me gay
No, Jason, stop! Stop!
Ah, I won't die like this. I won't die like this.
- Come on - Come on, lock, button.
Come on, key!
I'm screwed
Running! Running!
Wake up!
Pam?
Fuck.
You've messed up
Are you okay?
Yes.
Thank you.
You know, this is a good night for America.
What?
Now, I don't know what you kids want here, but...
... I like that.
I understand your feelings.
Do you know what I can go now?
I can look for fresh food.
- What about you, baby - one each!
How, son?
What's the matter?
Shoot him in the brain!
Shoot him in the other brain.
Come on!
Come on, the key gimme, go!
Let's check the fuck out.
No! No! No!
Beladau!
Fuck, whore
Penis.
I want a penis
Penis in my butt
I want a penis in my ass.
Fucker!
I want to go home.
I will drive
Hey, I just want to say thank you.
You're welcome.
And, hey, thank you, uh...
- Oh my God! - What? What is that?
What did you do to me?
I don't know I have to be immune.
- Stay away from me! - Christine!
- Stay away from me, you live...
Are you one of them? Are you one of them?
No.
Oh, damn it!
Is he one of them?
She's beautiful.
Yes, that's the case.
Where do you go
We just came from the south, man, it was chaotic.
- Fuckers are everywhere - Is there anything left?
A little.
- Where do you go? - South.
Don't you hear what we just said? It's nothing down there.
I will take my chance.
What exactly will you do?
Earth is just a hero Googled, and I come number one.
What is...
# I think I saw a light through a gap in my coffin #
# I think I see light, I think I see light #
# I think I see the light and my soul will be fine #
# Because I think I see light #
# I think I see light and my soul will be fine #
# I'm full and all ready to go #
# When the harvester comes calling #
# I am praying to God, please come and save my soul #
# While my body melts #
# My body has died, my body has died #
# My body has died and the worm will party #
# My body has died, my body has died #
# But I think I finally saw the # light # Oh, yes, I think I saw the # # lamp # I think I saw a light through a gap in my coffin #
# I think I see light, I think I see light #
# I think I see light and my soul will be fine #
# I'm full and all ready to go #
# When the harvester comes calling #
# I am praying to God, please come and save my soul #
# While my body melts #
# My body has died, my body has died #
# My body has died and the worm will party #
# My body has died, my body has died #
# But I think I finally saw the # light # Oh, yes, I think I saw the # # lamp # I think I saw a light through a gap in my coffin #
# I think I see light, I think I see light #
# I think I see light and my soul will be fine #
# Yes, I'm full and all are ready to go #
# When the harvester comes calling #
# I am praying to God, don't you come and save my soul #
# They put me on the ground, they put me on the ground #
# Preacher says a prayer because they dropped me #
# They put me on the ground, they put me on the ground #
# But I think I finally saw the # lamp
# I think I saw a light through a gap in my coffin #
# I think I see light, I think I see light #
# I think I see light and my soul will be fine #
# Because I think I see light #
# I think I saw a light through a gap in my coffin #
# I think I see light, I think I see light #
# I think I see light and my soul will be fine #
# And my soul will be fine #
# And my soul will... ##
# I woke up one morning and I kicked my dog #
# I hit my neighbor's head with a big maple log #
Then I called his fat hairy wife a big fat haired slob #
# I have blues #
# Mean blues blues #
# Then I stole this car and I headed downtown #
# Seeing paperboy, I ran the little bastard down #
# Throw it upside down and pin it down his brain to the ground #
# I have blues #
# Mean blues blues #
# I did 90 and I heard the siren roar #
# Cop pulled me up, said he took me to jail Referred by: www.subtitlecinema.com