1
00:00:53,772 --> 00:00:54,844
Law offices.
2
00:00:59,844 --> 00:01:01,779
You know what I want to
be when I grow up?
3
00:01:01,780 --> 00:01:03,350
- What?
- A fisherman.
4
00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:07,519
I want to go fishing
every day till I'm rich
5
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,720
so I can move right
next door to the jailhouse,
6
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,025
so I can be close to my mommy.
7
00:01:13,025 --> 00:01:17,032
She got arrested for drugs
again, so she has to go back.
8
00:01:20,032 --> 00:01:22,636
I'm sorry to hear that.
9
00:01:24,636 --> 00:01:26,837
My mommy's breath smells so bad
10
00:01:26,838 --> 00:01:29,942
'cause she smokes
so much crack.
11
00:01:31,942 --> 00:01:33,413
What do you think?
12
00:01:34,413 --> 00:01:36,814
What do I think? About what?
13
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My mommy's bad breath.
14
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Maybe it'll get better.
15
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Thank you. That helps.
16
00:01:51,496 --> 00:01:52,999
Yeah. Yeah! Thanks
for nothing, Derek.
17
00:01:53,999 --> 00:01:55,166
What is the matter
with you, Kimmie?
18
00:01:55,167 --> 00:01:58,102
All right, come on. We got to
go see your grandpa.
19
00:01:58,103 --> 00:02:00,572
Not Grandpa. He's a kook!
20
00:02:00,573 --> 00:02:04,044
Oh, my goodness.
You are limber!
21
00:02:06,044 --> 00:02:07,915
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
22
00:02:09,915 --> 00:02:10,715
Phew.
23
00:02:12,451 --> 00:02:13,429
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
24
00:02:23,429 --> 00:02:27,201
Ooh, well, hello!
I think I know her.
25
00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:32,446
Mmm...
26
00:02:40,446 --> 00:02:42,612
Mr. Zisman?
27
00:02:42,613 --> 00:02:44,615
Mr. Zisman.
28
00:02:44,616 --> 00:02:46,451
- Mr. Zisman!
- Hmm?
29
00:02:46,452 --> 00:02:47,952
Hi.
30
00:02:47,953 --> 00:02:51,122
I'm, uh, afraid I have
some bad news.
31
00:02:51,123 --> 00:02:54,492
Your wife, she took a turn
for the worse last night
32
00:02:54,493 --> 00:02:56,064
and, um, she passed away.
33
00:02:59,064 --> 00:03:00,500
I'm so sorry.
34
00:03:05,002 --> 00:03:06,303
Oh!
35
00:03:06,304 --> 00:03:08,006
I thought she'd never die.
36
00:03:10,642 --> 00:03:12,243
I'm going to let
you process this,
37
00:03:12,244 --> 00:03:15,813
and, uh, I'll be back in
just a moment, okay?
38
00:03:15,814 --> 00:03:18,985
Thank you. Thank you, Doc!
39
00:03:19,985 --> 00:03:25,321
Don't get me wrong, I'm upset,
but she was a crabby old bat.
40
00:03:25,322 --> 00:03:27,391
Well, I'm sorry for your loss.
41
00:03:27,392 --> 00:03:30,493
She hadn't given me any nookie
since the '90s.
42
00:03:30,494 --> 00:03:32,832
And then it was
only out of spite.
43
00:03:33,832 --> 00:03:35,667
She's in a much better place.
44
00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:39,173
And I'm in a much better place.
45
00:03:42,173 --> 00:03:45,178
Did you hear that, Leroy?
We're free!
46
00:03:47,178 --> 00:03:48,947
I'm free.
47
00:04:12,737 --> 00:04:14,207
Hello, lady.
48
00:04:25,216 --> 00:04:26,901
Thanks a lot.
49
00:04:42,901 --> 00:04:43,704
Ooh.
50
00:04:45,704 --> 00:04:47,110
All right.
51
00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:55,512
Shit!
52
00:05:18,570 --> 00:05:19,406
Oh.
53
00:05:29,781 --> 00:05:33,286
Uh-oh. Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
54
00:05:35,286 --> 00:05:36,420
Miss.
55
00:05:36,421 --> 00:05:39,256
Sir, can you help me?
Can you help me, sir?
56
00:05:39,257 --> 00:05:40,958
I don't expect
you to understand,
57
00:05:40,959 --> 00:05:44,930
but I have my penis
stuck to the soda machine.
58
00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:48,534
Gabriel! I'm stuck.
59
00:05:49,534 --> 00:05:50,600
What's wrong?
60
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:54,437
My penis is
stuck in the machine!
61
00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:57,107
Gabriel! Help me!
62
00:05:57,108 --> 00:05:59,944
Help me! Ah! Gabriel!
63
00:05:59,945 --> 00:06:01,447
Gabriel!
64
00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:08,789
Sir. Could you help me, sir?
65
00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:13,324
Please don't announce it!
66
00:06:13,325 --> 00:06:14,658
It's fucking embarrassing!
67
00:06:14,659 --> 00:06:17,127
Can you help me
instead of announcing?
68
00:06:17,128 --> 00:06:19,896
Please! It's not funny!
69
00:06:19,897 --> 00:06:21,665
It's not funny!
70
00:06:21,666 --> 00:06:23,971
Help! Give me a hand!
71
00:06:25,971 --> 00:06:29,006
- Could you help me?
- What you want?
72
00:06:29,007 --> 00:06:31,275
I'm in a bad situation.
73
00:06:31,276 --> 00:06:34,279
I gotta get unstuck!
74
00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:36,515
Can you help?
75
00:06:37,515 --> 00:06:39,250
Jiggle my shoulders.
76
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:43,020
Jiggle my shoulders.
Ow! Ow!
77
00:06:43,021 --> 00:06:45,823
- Nothing I can do.
- Jiggle my...
78
00:06:45,824 --> 00:06:48,826
Jiggle! Ow! Ow.
79
00:06:48,827 --> 00:06:50,194
Oh, my God.
80
00:06:50,195 --> 00:06:51,397
Oh, my God.
81
00:06:53,565 --> 00:06:55,965
Oh. Oh! He's trying
to rip that dick out!
82
00:06:55,966 --> 00:06:57,934
Oh, no!
83
00:06:57,935 --> 00:06:59,803
- Stop!
- Stop, man!
84
00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:03,773
Sir?
85
00:07:03,774 --> 00:07:05,445
Don't... It's not going
to come out.
86
00:07:07,445 --> 00:07:09,780
Don't! Quit pulling on it.
87
00:07:09,781 --> 00:07:12,482
I got to get...
Oh, God!
88
00:07:12,483 --> 00:07:13,583
Ah!
89
00:07:13,584 --> 00:07:15,119
Push! Push!
90
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,653
God! Push! Push!
91
00:07:16,654 --> 00:07:18,235
Oh, God! Oh, God!
92
00:07:30,235 --> 00:07:32,069
You looking for something?
93
00:07:32,070 --> 00:07:34,371
Yes, ma'am,
I'm looking for a suit.
94
00:07:34,372 --> 00:07:35,439
Okay.
95
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:36,907
Wow, what's your name?
96
00:07:36,908 --> 00:07:38,141
- Judy.
- Judy...
97
00:07:38,142 --> 00:07:40,276
- Nice to meet you.
- ...you are so beautiful.
98
00:07:40,277 --> 00:07:42,481
- Thank you.
- Oh, my goodness.
99
00:07:43,481 --> 00:07:45,550
My wife just passed away.
100
00:07:45,551 --> 00:07:46,917
I'm sorry.
101
00:07:46,918 --> 00:07:50,022
That's all right. It wasn't the
greatest marriage anyway, Judy.
102
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:54,191
That's why I'm gonna take a
little me time now, Judy.
103
00:07:54,192 --> 00:07:57,194
- And have some fun.
- Uh-huh. See?
104
00:07:57,195 --> 00:07:59,897
By fun, I mean
banging the gong.
105
00:08:01,966 --> 00:08:04,268
I might be too old
to fry the rice,
106
00:08:04,269 --> 00:08:06,804
but I can still chop the suey,
that's for sure.
107
00:08:06,805 --> 00:08:09,973
How long does it
take to do alterations?
108
00:08:09,974 --> 00:08:12,576
Um... Do you
need a hurry?
109
00:08:12,577 --> 00:08:14,143
Uh, the funeral's tomorrow.
110
00:08:14,144 --> 00:08:15,679
Oh. Do you need a tie?
111
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,080
Yes, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.
112
00:08:17,081 --> 00:08:19,550
Okay, what color
the tie you likey?
113
00:08:19,551 --> 00:08:22,752
Uh, I likey any color.
You pick one out for me.
114
00:08:22,753 --> 00:08:25,021
Well... How about
that one right there?
115
00:08:25,022 --> 00:08:27,624
Uh... Which one?
You mean this one?
116
00:08:27,625 --> 00:08:30,195
- Right there. Yes.
- That looks like it's green.
117
00:08:31,195 --> 00:08:33,797
- Oh, that's very nice.
- Yeah. Okay?
118
00:08:33,798 --> 00:08:36,566
- How much is that shirt?
- 65.
119
00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:38,134
- That's a lot of scratch.
- 40 percent.
120
00:08:38,135 --> 00:08:39,869
- 40 percent.
- That's a lot of scratch.
121
00:08:39,870 --> 00:08:41,838
- So, 40 percent.
- Yeah.
122
00:08:47,312 --> 00:08:49,713
Is that a squirrel right there?
123
00:08:56,053 --> 00:09:00,023
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
124
00:09:00,024 --> 00:09:02,860
- You got me, you got me.
- Yup, I got you good.
125
00:09:02,861 --> 00:09:05,228
- You got me.
- Yup, I got you over a felony.
126
00:09:05,229 --> 00:09:07,331
- Oh, God.
- Have a seat.
127
00:09:07,332 --> 00:09:08,565
Yes, sir.
128
00:09:08,566 --> 00:09:11,201
- Do not get up out of that chair.
- Yes, sir.
129
00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:13,970
I apologize.
130
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,741
Get my shit off.
131
00:09:16,741 --> 00:09:18,108
Get your shit off?
132
00:09:18,109 --> 00:09:20,811
Get my shirt off. Get my coat off.
Get my pants off.
133
00:09:20,812 --> 00:09:22,746
I gotta take your pants off?
134
00:09:22,747 --> 00:09:25,648
- You better believe it.
- Well, that sounds a little weird.
135
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:27,984
Go in here and
get the damn pants off.
136
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:31,769
You want me to take your pants
off, that seems a little weird.
137
00:09:45,769 --> 00:09:49,438
Thank you, kind people,
for being here today.
138
00:09:49,439 --> 00:09:52,710
I never thought my wife's
funeral would be filled with
139
00:09:52,711 --> 00:09:57,616
complete strangers, but we've
outlived all our friends.
140
00:09:58,616 --> 00:10:02,621
I was hoping my daughter and
grandson could make it but...
141
00:10:04,621 --> 00:10:05,421
They didn't.
142
00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:12,629
So, I would especially like
to thank the choir
143
00:10:12,630 --> 00:10:16,335
and caterers, and all the nice
people sitting before me.
144
00:10:17,335 --> 00:10:18,338
Thank you.
145
00:10:21,338 --> 00:10:23,706
I wished you could have
seen the young Ellie,
146
00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:26,143
the woman I fell in love with.
147
00:10:26,144 --> 00:10:29,178
She was like a flash
of bright light.
148
00:10:29,179 --> 00:10:33,215
A callipygian princess who drew
people to her like a magnet.
149
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:36,619
And for those of you who don't
know what callipygian means,
150
00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:38,421
it means she has a nice bottom.
151
00:10:38,422 --> 00:10:42,225
- Ooh.
- She did.
152
00:10:44,128 --> 00:10:47,129
I wish I had
more time with her.
153
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:50,902
I wish so much of our time had
not been consumed by combat.
154
00:10:52,135 --> 00:10:54,807
I wish I'd tried a little
harder to make that happen.
155
00:10:55,807 --> 00:11:01,481
- Because she's gone now.
- And our history on this earth has been written...
156
00:11:03,481 --> 00:11:04,586
Baby.
157
00:11:07,586 --> 00:11:08,654
Hi, sweetie.
158
00:11:09,654 --> 00:11:11,657
- Hi, buddy.
- Hi.
159
00:11:12,657 --> 00:11:13,457
Sit.
160
00:11:13,991 --> 00:11:16,663
This is my
daughter and grandson.
161
00:11:18,663 --> 00:11:20,332
Can I have a word with you?
162
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:23,667
Yeah, I'm in
the middle of something.
163
00:11:23,668 --> 00:11:25,336
Billy, just stay there
for a second.
164
00:11:25,337 --> 00:11:27,504
I just want to talk to
your granddad outside.
165
00:11:27,505 --> 00:11:28,840
Okay, Mom.
166
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,081
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
167
00:11:36,081 --> 00:11:37,782
Hi, Billy.
168
00:11:37,783 --> 00:11:39,382
What's so important?
169
00:11:39,383 --> 00:11:41,317
Listen, I'm sorry that she's
dead and everything,
170
00:11:41,318 --> 00:11:43,119
but I'm in some serious shit,
okay?
171
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,255
- What is it this time?
- You tell him about the microphone.
172
00:11:45,256 --> 00:11:47,523
Don't even start that
with me! Not now!
173
00:11:47,524 --> 00:11:49,526
Okay? It wasn't even my fault!
174
00:11:49,527 --> 00:11:52,263
This cop, he's got a bug
up his ass,
175
00:11:52,264 --> 00:11:53,831
and then they give me
this public defender
176
00:11:53,832 --> 00:11:55,699
who's a fucking idiot! And...
177
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:58,368
Sir, excuse me.
The microphone is on.
178
00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:00,530
Please, just give me a moment.
Just give me a moment.
179
00:12:02,039 --> 00:12:04,407
Look, I violated my parole
180
00:12:04,408 --> 00:12:06,877
and now they're gonna
send me to jail.
181
00:12:06,878 --> 00:12:09,513
I just need you to take Billy
across the country
182
00:12:09,514 --> 00:12:11,414
so he can be with his dad
for a while. Okay?
183
00:12:11,415 --> 00:12:12,550
What?
184
00:12:12,551 --> 00:12:15,552
I can't have Bobby with me
now. I'm in mourning!
185
00:12:15,553 --> 00:12:17,486
It's Billy. Billy!
186
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,490
How am I supposed
to know what his name is?
187
00:12:19,491 --> 00:12:21,258
You never brought him around!
188
00:12:21,259 --> 00:12:24,020
And when you did bring him around,
he pissed every bed in the house.
189
00:12:24,029 --> 00:12:25,428
I don't pee my bed anymore.
190
00:12:25,429 --> 00:12:27,931
I cannot have
Billy with me now.
191
00:12:27,932 --> 00:12:30,001
I am a free man for the
first time in 46 years
192
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:34,671
and I can't be saddled
with that cockblock!
193
00:12:34,672 --> 00:12:35,773
That's just fine.
194
00:12:35,774 --> 00:12:36,840
You were never there for me
when I was little,
195
00:12:36,841 --> 00:12:38,509
so I guess it's
no different now, is it?
196
00:12:38,510 --> 00:12:40,686
I'm going to talk to my mom.
197
00:12:48,686 --> 00:12:51,654
I am very sorry. Um...
198
00:12:51,655 --> 00:12:54,157
Everyone's very
emotional right now.
199
00:12:54,158 --> 00:12:55,878
It's a very difficult
time for the family.
200
00:12:57,361 --> 00:12:59,032
Uh...
I don't know what to say.
201
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:05,601
Sweetie, come here.
That's your mother's.
202
00:13:05,602 --> 00:13:06,836
She told me I could have it.
203
00:13:06,837 --> 00:13:08,504
Give me the...
Give it...
204
00:13:08,505 --> 00:13:11,774
Don't do this in front of
them! Don't do this right now!
205
00:13:11,775 --> 00:13:12,842
Just stop...
206
00:13:12,843 --> 00:13:15,547
- Oh, no!
- Oh, God! Jesus!
207
00:13:16,547 --> 00:13:17,681
Oh, no.
208
00:13:17,682 --> 00:13:18,851
Grandma?
209
00:13:19,851 --> 00:13:21,854
- I love you.
- Oh, baby.
210
00:13:22,854 --> 00:13:24,520
Sorry, Daddy.
211
00:13:24,521 --> 00:13:25,859
Oh, baby!
212
00:13:27,859 --> 00:13:29,860
Oh, my God!
213
00:13:29,861 --> 00:13:33,529
Sing! Please, choir, sing
something. Somebody help.
214
00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:37,366
Joy, joy, joy
Down in my heart
215
00:13:37,367 --> 00:13:40,369
Down in my heart,
down in my heart
216
00:13:40,370 --> 00:13:44,374
I've got the joy,
joy, joy, joy. Down in my heart
217
00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:47,978
Down in my heart to stay
218
00:13:47,979 --> 00:13:52,215
I've got the love of
Jesus down in my heart
219
00:13:52,216 --> 00:13:55,219
Down in my heart,
down in my heart
220
00:13:55,220 --> 00:13:59,556
I've got the love of Jesus
down in my heart
221
00:13:59,557 --> 00:14:02,893
Down in my heart to stay
222
00:14:02,894 --> 00:14:06,897
I've got the joy,
joy, joy, joy
223
00:14:06,898 --> 00:14:09,667
Down in my heart to stay
224
00:14:51,775 --> 00:14:53,381
Fuck.
225
00:14:58,381 --> 00:14:59,715
Where are we going?
226
00:14:59,716 --> 00:15:02,085
We're going here to get on
a computer call with your dad
227
00:15:02,086 --> 00:15:04,220
to see when he's gonna
pick your little ass up.
228
00:15:04,221 --> 00:15:05,342
And I got someone meeting us
229
00:15:05,990 --> 00:15:07,510
to help me
and your father communicate,
230
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,561
seeing how we don't get along.
231
00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:12,361
Are you Mr. Zisman?
232
00:15:12,362 --> 00:15:13,730
- Hi.
- Shirley Kreska.
233
00:15:13,731 --> 00:15:14,999
- Nice to meet you, Shirley.
- Nice to meet you.
234
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,067
Well, tell me
the purpose of the call.
235
00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:20,671
His mother is going to jail.
236
00:15:20,672 --> 00:15:23,072
But she wanted me to get
him to his father.
237
00:15:23,073 --> 00:15:26,676
We've had lots of problems
out of the father.
238
00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:28,357
He's nearly impossible
to communicate with.
239
00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:33,917
Yes, yes.
240
00:15:33,918 --> 00:15:36,922
I got him up on
the computer now.
241
00:15:37,922 --> 00:15:40,690
All right, Chuck.
This is Shirley.
242
00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:43,192
Hi, Chuck.
I'm a local counselor,
243
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:45,095
and I'm just here to help
the 2 of you
244
00:15:45,096 --> 00:15:47,096
reach whatever goals
you want to reach
245
00:15:47,097 --> 00:15:49,099
and just help the two
of you talk together.
246
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,234
Okay.
247
00:15:50,235 --> 00:15:52,436
So, uh, Kimmie
248
00:15:52,437 --> 00:15:57,105
is going to
jail again, all right?
249
00:15:57,106 --> 00:15:58,709
Doesn't surprise me.
250
00:15:58,710 --> 00:16:02,548
So I need you to come
get Billy, like, from me.
251
00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:06,615
Why are you shaking your head?
252
00:16:06,616 --> 00:16:09,384
'Cause this is real
bad timing right now for me.
253
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:12,288
I'm having some problems
with my business right now.
254
00:16:12,289 --> 00:16:13,789
- Okay.
- Oh, your business, huh?
255
00:16:13,790 --> 00:16:15,557
What business is that?
256
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,060
I sell computers.
257
00:16:17,061 --> 00:16:19,294
Sell... He couldn't sell
pussy on a troop train.
258
00:16:19,295 --> 00:16:20,964
Oh, that's
a disgusting thing to say.
259
00:16:20,965 --> 00:16:22,465
Okay, but that doesn't help.
That doesn't help.
260
00:16:22,466 --> 00:16:24,066
You're right. You're right.
261
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,188
I'm sorry for insulting you.
262
00:16:28,038 --> 00:16:29,109
Are you serious?
263
00:16:31,109 --> 00:16:32,109
This is a disaster.
264
00:16:33,277 --> 00:16:35,611
All right, Chuck.
265
00:16:35,612 --> 00:16:37,450
If you can't come to Lincoln,
266
00:16:38,450 --> 00:16:41,283
then I'll just bring him
to you in North Carolina.
267
00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:44,387
No. 'Cause I don't have money
to take care of a kid.
268
00:16:44,388 --> 00:16:46,557
My cousin, he just had
to take his baby girl,
269
00:16:46,558 --> 00:16:49,292
and the state's paying
him $600 a month for free.
270
00:16:49,293 --> 00:16:51,661
Are you sure you
want him to go to him?
271
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:53,430
- He's getting 600 bucks?
- A month.
272
00:16:53,431 --> 00:16:54,831
Wait, what are they saying?
273
00:16:54,832 --> 00:16:57,600
She's saying possibly he could
get money for keeping him.
274
00:16:57,601 --> 00:16:59,836
I think I can
work something out.
275
00:16:59,837 --> 00:17:02,840
I think that if Irving was to
276
00:17:02,841 --> 00:17:05,942
bring him here to Raleigh,
I could take the kid.
277
00:17:05,943 --> 00:17:08,445
And then if it
didn't work out...
278
00:17:08,446 --> 00:17:11,046
600 bucks a month
will make it work for me.
279
00:17:11,047 --> 00:17:13,515
So...
And that isn't guaranteed,
280
00:17:13,516 --> 00:17:14,950
what she just said.
It's something
281
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,319
- you would have to investigate.
- No, no, it's guaranteed.
282
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:17,687
She's always right.
283
00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,289
It's a done deal, man.
Drop him off.
284
00:17:19,290 --> 00:17:20,791
All right,
2:00 on Sunday.
285
00:17:20,792 --> 00:17:22,792
2:00 p.m. Sunday.
286
00:17:23,861 --> 00:17:26,029
Great, man. Great. Great.
287
00:17:26,030 --> 00:17:28,197
There goes like
half my inventory.
288
00:17:28,198 --> 00:17:29,733
What a wonderful business
you have.
289
00:17:29,734 --> 00:17:31,200
Okay. Chuck,
what's your last name?
290
00:17:31,201 --> 00:17:33,369
Muskie.
291
00:17:33,370 --> 00:17:36,540
- M... Okay.
- M-U-S-K-I-E.
292
00:17:36,541 --> 00:17:40,310
D-O-U-C-H-E is
how you spell it.
293
00:17:40,311 --> 00:17:43,946
Yeah. That's right.
F-A-G-O-T is your last name.
294
00:17:43,947 --> 00:17:46,148
Your son's right here,
if you don't mind.
295
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,685
Bye, A-S-S-O-L-E.
296
00:17:48,686 --> 00:17:50,587
Shitbird, dummy butt.
297
00:17:50,588 --> 00:17:52,757
Let's just...
Let's just walk away.
298
00:17:53,757 --> 00:17:55,358
Suck it.
299
00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:56,926
"Suck it," that's nice.
300
00:17:56,927 --> 00:17:58,695
Suck a bowl of dicks.
301
00:17:58,696 --> 00:17:59,929
Bye, Dad.
302
00:17:59,930 --> 00:18:01,764
Bye, Billy!
303
00:18:01,765 --> 00:18:02,565
Bye.
304
00:18:15,312 --> 00:18:17,580
Hey, Billy, let me show you
what you're going to do
305
00:18:17,581 --> 00:18:19,849
if somebody comes
at you with a knife.
306
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:21,150
Come here.
307
00:18:21,151 --> 00:18:22,718
Have any of those baskets down
here that you have outside?
308
00:18:22,719 --> 00:18:24,853
I don't think so.
309
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,156
You don't think so.
You don't know?
310
00:18:26,157 --> 00:18:28,090
Don't interrupt,
grandpa, I'm busy.
311
00:18:28,091 --> 00:18:30,225
So if a guy comes
at you with a knife...
312
00:18:30,226 --> 00:18:31,593
You don't care about a sale?
313
00:18:31,594 --> 00:18:32,963
Yeah, I care about a sale.
314
00:18:32,964 --> 00:18:35,732
But I'm trying to teach my
grandson about knife fights.
315
00:18:35,733 --> 00:18:38,534
And you keep
yapping. Jesus.
316
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:42,438
- Good attitude to have.
- Yeah, keep walking, gramps.
317
00:18:42,439 --> 00:18:45,574
Okay, now, if a guy comes
at you in a knife fight.
318
00:18:45,575 --> 00:18:47,677
Like, come at me,
I'll show you what you do.
319
00:18:47,678 --> 00:18:49,513
That's all you gotta do.
320
00:18:49,514 --> 00:18:51,716
You take it and you stick
it right in their thigh.
321
00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:55,219
And then they
can't run after you.
322
00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:59,856
You young ladies in the
market for a nice bed?
323
00:18:59,857 --> 00:19:02,125
- No.
- 75 dollars.
324
00:19:02,126 --> 00:19:03,426
What's special about it?
325
00:19:03,427 --> 00:19:05,829
It's got that
special vibrating feature.
326
00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:07,562
You know what I'm saying?
327
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,299
You want to see how it works?
328
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,033
No, thanks, honey.
329
00:19:11,034 --> 00:19:14,337
My wife and I only had it 2 weeks
before she went in the hospital.
330
00:19:14,338 --> 00:19:15,905
Oh, I'm so sorry.
331
00:19:15,906 --> 00:19:18,373
That's okay, that's okay.
It's barely been used.
332
00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:20,843
- Yeah.
- And she passed away.
333
00:19:20,844 --> 00:19:23,612
- Oh, dear. That's very sad.
- Yeah.
334
00:19:23,613 --> 00:19:26,815
Well, it's not so sad, she
was kind of a bitch, but...
335
00:19:26,816 --> 00:19:28,818
Jeez!
336
00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:30,520
My goodness!
337
00:19:30,521 --> 00:19:34,623
Well, gotta
call a spade a spade.
338
00:19:34,624 --> 00:19:37,861
Well, there goes
the troublemaker.
339
00:19:38,861 --> 00:19:41,030
Well, what kind of
attitude is that?
340
00:19:41,031 --> 00:19:42,698
- Same type you have.
- Same kind of 'tude you got.
341
00:19:42,699 --> 00:19:43,780
- Same type you have.
- Wow.
342
00:19:44,001 --> 00:19:45,439
Mr. and Mrs. Happy.
343
00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:51,440
How much is this?
344
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:53,810
Is there a price tag on it?
345
00:19:53,811 --> 00:19:55,380
I don't... There's a...
346
00:19:56,380 --> 00:19:58,147
That's one of my
wife's favorite lamps.
347
00:19:58,148 --> 00:20:00,116
- It's very pretty.
- Yes.
348
00:20:00,117 --> 00:20:02,119
She died of, uh...
349
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:03,753
Vagitosis.
350
00:20:03,754 --> 00:20:06,591
It's kind of like bad breath,
but the vagina.
351
00:20:07,591 --> 00:20:10,092
It wasn't
the main cause, but...
352
00:20:10,093 --> 00:20:11,053
- It didn't help.
- Yeah.
353
00:20:11,995 --> 00:20:13,801
That's...
354
00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:18,967
Ma'am,
will you buy that please?
355
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:22,472
No, thank you. I don't
need it, I have one.
356
00:20:22,473 --> 00:20:27,944
Ma'am, how do you explain what a
cockblock is to an 8-year-old?
357
00:20:27,945 --> 00:20:32,818
Can you help me explain that? 'Cause that's
what's sitting there is a little cockblock.
358
00:20:34,818 --> 00:20:36,988
No, he's not.
Don't listen to her.
359
00:20:37,988 --> 00:20:39,423
He's a good boy.
360
00:20:39,424 --> 00:20:41,859
If you like him so damn much,
you take him.
361
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,828
Do you like this chair?
362
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:47,164
That is pretty cool.
363
00:20:47,165 --> 00:20:47,999
It's only $25.
364
00:20:48,999 --> 00:20:50,900
Wow. That's nice.
365
00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:54,236
This bed's going for
a pretty good price.
366
00:20:54,237 --> 00:20:56,539
I'd like to lay down
and take a nap myself.
367
00:20:56,540 --> 00:20:58,408
- I'm tired all the time.
- Yeah.
368
00:20:58,409 --> 00:20:59,809
Is it one of those ones
that adjusts?
369
00:20:59,810 --> 00:21:02,312
Yes, ma'am, it's really good.
370
00:21:02,313 --> 00:21:04,313
It's one of those that kind of
371
00:21:04,314 --> 00:21:07,148
sit up while
you're watching TV.
372
00:21:07,149 --> 00:21:09,188
Here, try, uh... I'll, uh...
373
00:21:11,188 --> 00:21:13,723
Try to adjust it a little.
374
00:21:13,724 --> 00:21:14,858
Whoa!
375
00:21:14,859 --> 00:21:16,192
Whoa, stop!
376
00:21:16,193 --> 00:21:17,860
Oh, my God!
377
00:21:17,861 --> 00:21:19,762
Whoa, stop. Oh, my God!
378
00:21:19,763 --> 00:21:22,532
Stop, stop! Whoa, stop!
379
00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:23,765
Unplug it!
380
00:21:23,766 --> 00:21:26,836
Oh, my God! What are you
trying to do to me?
381
00:21:26,837 --> 00:21:29,438
All I did was push
the little button!
382
00:21:29,439 --> 00:21:33,708
Oh, God! Put it down!
Put it... Cramp! Cramp!
383
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:34,843
Ah!
384
00:21:34,844 --> 00:21:36,044
It's unplugged!
385
00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:37,179
Oh.
386
00:21:37,180 --> 00:21:38,848
It's unplugged,
I pulled the plug.
387
00:21:38,849 --> 00:21:40,617
Oh, my God.
388
00:21:40,618 --> 00:21:42,619
Unplug that thing
over there, please.
389
00:21:42,620 --> 00:21:44,154
I'm getting off.
390
00:21:44,155 --> 00:21:46,122
Oh. Oh, God.
391
00:21:46,123 --> 00:21:47,188
- Let Grandpa sit.
- I pushed the little button.
392
00:21:47,189 --> 00:21:48,457
He told me to push the button.
393
00:21:48,458 --> 00:21:50,660
Let Grandpa sit.
394
00:21:51,829 --> 00:21:54,199
I think I'm going to have
a heart attack. I really do.
395
00:21:56,199 --> 00:21:58,802
Well, let's not make this
all about you, honey.
396
00:21:58,803 --> 00:22:01,973
Oh, no, no, I'm telling her.
I'm not making it...
397
00:22:05,242 --> 00:22:06,709
Look...
398
00:22:06,710 --> 00:22:08,211
Just calm down. It's okay.
399
00:22:08,212 --> 00:22:09,647
My breathing won't come back.
400
00:22:10,647 --> 00:22:12,717
You can have the bed for $50.
401
00:22:13,717 --> 00:22:15,197
No, I don't want that bed.
402
00:22:32,069 --> 00:22:33,073
Coming!
403
00:22:37,073 --> 00:22:38,675
Hey, sir, how are you?
404
00:22:38,676 --> 00:22:40,408
Do you have a bed
we're supposed to pick up?
405
00:22:40,409 --> 00:22:42,212
- Right this way.
- Alrighty.
406
00:22:42,213 --> 00:22:43,411
My name's Irving,
what's your name?
407
00:22:43,412 --> 00:22:44,546
Tom.
408
00:22:44,547 --> 00:22:46,750
Tom. How are you,
Tom? Come on in.
409
00:22:46,751 --> 00:22:48,851
This is my grandson, Billy.
410
00:22:48,852 --> 00:22:49,953
- Hi, Billy. How are you?
- Hi.
411
00:22:49,954 --> 00:22:51,420
- What's your name, sir?
- I'm James.
412
00:22:51,421 --> 00:22:54,259
James. How are you, James?
Come on in. We're back here.
413
00:22:56,259 --> 00:23:00,362
And, um... My wife just passed
away a couple days ago
414
00:23:00,363 --> 00:23:03,032
and the damn funeral home
had a little misunderstanding.
415
00:23:03,033 --> 00:23:05,437
Like, you know what, "We'll
just take her right back."
416
00:23:06,437 --> 00:23:09,138
We want to get her in
my trunk, because we're gonna
417
00:23:09,139 --> 00:23:13,943
bury her down south a ways.
If you could help me to my car
418
00:23:13,944 --> 00:23:15,613
I would really appreciate it.
419
00:23:16,613 --> 00:23:18,616
Let me just...
420
00:23:19,616 --> 00:23:21,283
Okay, um...
421
00:23:21,284 --> 00:23:23,619
Just wrap her up.
422
00:23:23,620 --> 00:23:26,790
I think it'll be easiest
if you just pull like that.
423
00:23:26,791 --> 00:23:29,725
Yeah. She was a pain in my ass
when we were married
424
00:23:29,726 --> 00:23:33,465
and she passed away, she's
still being a pain in my ass.
425
00:23:34,465 --> 00:23:37,300
Just grab that right there.
426
00:23:37,301 --> 00:23:39,804
James, will you get the head?
427
00:23:41,804 --> 00:23:43,809
Be gentle with her.
428
00:23:44,809 --> 00:23:45,809
Here you go, James.
429
00:23:47,143 --> 00:23:48,704
- Here you go.
- Lord have mercy. Jesus.
430
00:23:49,412 --> 00:23:50,646
There you go.
431
00:23:50,647 --> 00:23:52,482
Don't let her fall
out of there, James.
432
00:23:52,483 --> 00:23:54,483
Get a good hold on her.
433
00:23:54,484 --> 00:23:56,355
Oh, man. We're, uh...
434
00:23:58,355 --> 00:24:00,956
We got to get this
little boy to his father.
435
00:24:00,957 --> 00:24:02,958
His mom just got
thrown in jail.
436
00:24:02,959 --> 00:24:04,526
My mom's on drugs.
437
00:24:04,527 --> 00:24:06,128
Lord have mercy!
438
00:24:06,129 --> 00:24:08,900
Thank you, boys.
I couldn't carry her myself.
439
00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:13,569
Just put her right in there.
440
00:24:13,570 --> 00:24:16,241
And, uh, we got blankets
to keep her warm.
441
00:24:17,241 --> 00:24:19,215
All right, be careful with her.
442
00:24:25,215 --> 00:24:26,583
All right.
443
00:24:27,583 --> 00:24:30,589
Thank you. Thank you, James.
444
00:24:31,589 --> 00:24:33,188
Come here, Billy.
445
00:24:33,189 --> 00:24:35,928
Grab his hand.
Can we say a prayer?
446
00:24:37,928 --> 00:24:40,196
Lord, please look
after Billy and I
447
00:24:40,197 --> 00:24:42,430
on our journey with Ellie.
448
00:24:42,431 --> 00:24:45,767
And Lord, please look after
these men because
449
00:24:45,768 --> 00:24:48,103
they were very sweet
450
00:24:48,104 --> 00:24:50,806
and they're also accomplices
to probably what was
451
00:24:50,807 --> 00:24:53,109
technically a crime, but...
452
00:24:53,110 --> 00:24:55,110
We're not gonna say anything.
453
00:24:55,111 --> 00:24:57,713
Come on, man!
Are you serious?
454
00:24:57,714 --> 00:24:59,581
In your name we pray. Amen.
455
00:24:59,582 --> 00:25:00,882
Amen.
456
00:25:00,883 --> 00:25:02,118
All right.
457
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,619
Let me ask you a question,
is the bed really going?
458
00:25:04,620 --> 00:25:06,121
No, no.
I just needed help with her.
459
00:25:06,122 --> 00:25:07,290
Oh.
460
00:25:07,291 --> 00:25:09,458
But no one's going
to come out...
461
00:25:09,459 --> 00:25:11,494
No one's going to come out
to help if you say,
462
00:25:11,495 --> 00:25:13,429
"Can you come help me commit
a crime?"
463
00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:15,298
No one's gonna help. So...
464
00:25:15,299 --> 00:25:21,303
We, uh... That's why we
had to tell a little fib.
465
00:25:21,304 --> 00:25:25,475
But we surely appreciate it.
And our lips are sealed.
466
00:25:25,476 --> 00:25:26,542
- Later.
- Thank the men.
467
00:25:26,543 --> 00:25:27,642
See you, Billy.
468
00:25:27,643 --> 00:25:28,923
- Thank you.
- Thank you, fellas!
469
00:25:29,013 --> 00:25:30,213
See you later.
470
00:25:30,214 --> 00:25:32,415
God bless you. God bless you, James.
Thank you!
471
00:25:32,416 --> 00:25:34,149
Thanks for the crime!
472
00:25:34,150 --> 00:25:36,755
Now get your crap.
We got to hit the road.
473
00:25:39,755 --> 00:25:40,889
All right.
474
00:25:40,890 --> 00:25:43,559
Grandpa, do you think we'll
have time to go fishing?
475
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,878
Don't worry me with that.
Just get in the damn car.
476
00:26:03,514 --> 00:26:05,880
I hope you went
to the bathroom already.
477
00:26:05,881 --> 00:26:07,017
- Nope.
- "Nope"?
478
00:26:08,017 --> 00:26:10,554
Well, you're gonna
have to hold it.
479
00:26:32,542 --> 00:26:34,610
Can I turn on the AC?
480
00:26:34,611 --> 00:26:35,411
No.
481
00:26:38,114 --> 00:26:39,117
Can I turn on the radio?
482
00:26:40,117 --> 00:26:41,950
No!
483
00:26:41,951 --> 00:26:44,124
Let's just play the quiet game.
484
00:26:48,124 --> 00:26:49,793
Can we get something to eat?
485
00:26:50,793 --> 00:26:52,628
You're already eating.
486
00:26:52,629 --> 00:26:53,862
But I'm hungry!
487
00:26:53,863 --> 00:26:55,564
Whatever.
488
00:26:55,565 --> 00:26:57,468
Anything to get
out of this car.
489
00:26:59,468 --> 00:27:03,974
Hola, gorgeous! I gotta
feed this little prick.
490
00:27:03,975 --> 00:27:08,313
Ooh, she is muy bonita, huh?
My goodness!
491
00:27:10,313 --> 00:27:12,915
Grandpa, look at
that ride! Can I go ride it?
492
00:27:12,916 --> 00:27:14,819
- What?
- Can I go ride that?
493
00:27:15,819 --> 00:27:18,588
Yes. Shit.
494
00:27:18,589 --> 00:27:19,656
Scram.
495
00:27:19,657 --> 00:27:20,790
Thank you.
496
00:27:20,791 --> 00:27:22,125
Ah. What's your name?
497
00:27:22,126 --> 00:27:24,159
Gloria.
498
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,495
My Spanish name
is El Mucho Ding-Dong.
499
00:27:27,496 --> 00:27:29,032
It doesn't work!
500
00:27:29,033 --> 00:27:30,166
Oh, God.
501
00:27:30,167 --> 00:27:31,934
- Grandpa!
- What?
502
00:27:31,935 --> 00:27:33,170
This thing doesn't work!
503
00:27:34,170 --> 00:27:35,870
What do you want me
to do about it?
504
00:27:35,871 --> 00:27:37,673
Fix it!
505
00:27:37,674 --> 00:27:39,309
Can't you see
I was talking to a lady?
506
00:27:39,310 --> 00:27:40,610
Yes, but look!
507
00:27:40,611 --> 00:27:42,844
Did you put money in there?
God.
508
00:27:42,845 --> 00:27:44,312
Try it. It doesn't work.
509
00:27:44,313 --> 00:27:45,219
Oh, God!
510
00:27:51,987 --> 00:27:53,256
God!
511
00:27:54,256 --> 00:27:55,627
Ow.
512
00:27:56,627 --> 00:27:57,661
Oh, man.
513
00:27:58,661 --> 00:28:00,032
Damn thing's broke.
514
00:28:02,032 --> 00:28:04,833
- Come on.
- You put in 50 cents.
515
00:28:04,834 --> 00:28:05,704
Nothing!
516
00:28:07,704 --> 00:28:12,041
Oh! Ow! Ah!
517
00:28:12,042 --> 00:28:13,610
Sit down, sit down.
518
00:28:15,178 --> 00:28:16,416
Ah!
519
00:28:19,416 --> 00:28:21,383
- Oh, I'm all right!
- Sit down, sir.
520
00:28:21,384 --> 00:28:22,952
Sit, sit, sit!
521
00:28:22,953 --> 00:28:24,954
Are you okay, Grandpa?
522
00:28:24,955 --> 00:28:26,122
Look what happened!
523
00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:28,190
Jesus!
524
00:28:28,191 --> 00:28:29,458
It didn't work!
525
00:28:29,459 --> 00:28:31,461
Why'd you tell me
to get in there?
526
00:28:31,462 --> 00:28:34,663
- No, it's not.
- Yes, I shouldn't have even been on there.
527
00:28:34,664 --> 00:28:36,565
You ruined the store.
528
00:28:36,566 --> 00:28:38,466
Why'd you tell me
to get in there?
529
00:28:38,467 --> 00:28:40,703
'Cause I wanted you to fix it.
530
00:28:40,704 --> 00:28:43,438
Well, it's fixed!
531
00:28:43,439 --> 00:28:45,541
Sir, would you
please listen to me?
532
00:28:45,542 --> 00:28:47,242
I want you to sit down
on a cushion until...
533
00:28:47,243 --> 00:28:49,279
I want the ambulance
to check you out.
534
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:50,979
Listen, it is not your fault.
535
00:28:50,980 --> 00:28:52,881
You are not over that weight limit.
Do you understand?
536
00:28:52,882 --> 00:28:54,317
What weight limit?
537
00:28:54,318 --> 00:28:55,885
There's no weight limit
on that thing.
538
00:28:55,886 --> 00:28:59,222
Hey, I don't have a weight limit either.
If you know what I mean.
539
00:28:59,223 --> 00:29:02,390
Unbelievable!
You could have broke my neck!
540
00:29:02,391 --> 00:29:04,061
I didn't do anything!
541
00:29:05,895 --> 00:29:08,064
I can't do it. I can't do it.
542
00:29:09,064 --> 00:29:10,901
- Do what?
- This!
543
00:29:11,901 --> 00:29:14,069
I can't do this.
544
00:29:14,070 --> 00:29:16,238
I said I'd get you
to your father's,
545
00:29:16,239 --> 00:29:18,574
but I didn't say how.
546
00:29:18,575 --> 00:29:21,243
Grandpa,
my leg's falling asleep!
547
00:29:21,244 --> 00:29:23,913
Look, you little shitbird,
I'm not driving you
548
00:29:23,914 --> 00:29:25,615
and you're too young
to ride the bus,
549
00:29:25,616 --> 00:29:27,920
so you keep quiet in there!
550
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:32,254
You need some help?
551
00:29:32,255 --> 00:29:34,689
- I think I got it.
- Okay.
552
00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:36,361
- Oh, my goodness.
- Okay.
553
00:29:37,361 --> 00:29:38,696
- Here we go.
- Okay.
554
00:29:39,696 --> 00:29:44,300
I'm going to send this
to Raleigh, North Carolina.
555
00:29:44,301 --> 00:29:45,868
Raleigh? Okay.
556
00:29:45,869 --> 00:29:47,305
18 width.
557
00:29:49,305 --> 00:29:50,374
Uh...
558
00:29:51,374 --> 00:29:52,975
- 47?
- 47.
559
00:29:52,976 --> 00:29:54,578
- 47.
- Yeah.
560
00:29:56,245 --> 00:29:57,780
- Damn it.
- Okay.
561
00:29:57,781 --> 00:29:59,381
Oh, there's something
moving around in there.
562
00:29:59,382 --> 00:30:00,882
Really?
563
00:30:00,883 --> 00:30:02,418
- No. No.
- No?
564
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:05,888
There's something in that box!
565
00:30:05,889 --> 00:30:07,156
No.
566
00:30:07,157 --> 00:30:10,158
There's nothing in the box?
It sounds like it!
567
00:30:10,159 --> 00:30:14,495
I do hear stuff in here, but
it's not coming from there.
568
00:30:14,496 --> 00:30:15,865
- Okay. Can we unstrap it?
- You mind if we unstrap it?
569
00:30:15,866 --> 00:30:17,198
Yes... No, let's unstrap it.
570
00:30:17,199 --> 00:30:18,399
Okay.
571
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,070
Grandpa, I got to pee.
572
00:30:21,338 --> 00:30:22,407
What...
573
00:30:23,407 --> 00:30:25,741
Keep it down.
574
00:30:25,742 --> 00:30:28,844
It's a statue.
I have a statue in there.
575
00:30:28,845 --> 00:30:30,411
It still has batteries in it
or something?
576
00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:32,581
Yes, it has the batteries
in it still.
577
00:30:32,582 --> 00:30:34,617
Okay. Okay.
578
00:30:34,618 --> 00:30:36,718
Yeah, it's just one
of those kind
579
00:30:36,719 --> 00:30:38,353
that you hit a button and it...
580
00:30:38,354 --> 00:30:39,821
So we shook it.
581
00:30:39,822 --> 00:30:41,761
Yeah, yeah.
582
00:30:43,761 --> 00:30:45,062
Grandpa, I got to pee real bad.
583
00:30:46,263 --> 00:30:47,696
It's a statue.
584
00:30:47,697 --> 00:30:49,098
Are you sure?
585
00:30:49,099 --> 00:30:51,434
It was settling.
It was settling.
586
00:30:51,435 --> 00:30:53,369
Okay. All right.
587
00:30:53,370 --> 00:30:55,271
Can we get it weighed?
Because I gotta...
588
00:30:55,272 --> 00:30:56,472
You gotta get out?
589
00:30:56,473 --> 00:30:57,794
Yes, and I appreciate
you girls...
590
00:31:01,043 --> 00:31:02,378
Would you...
591
00:31:02,379 --> 00:31:03,946
God, what are you doing?
592
00:31:03,947 --> 00:31:05,947
We were shipping a human being!
593
00:31:05,948 --> 00:31:07,449
Oh, my.
594
00:31:07,450 --> 00:31:09,051
Oh, my!
595
00:31:09,052 --> 00:31:10,552
We can't ship humans.
596
00:31:10,553 --> 00:31:12,721
I'm trying to get him
to his father,
597
00:31:12,722 --> 00:31:15,792
and I don't want to drive him.
598
00:31:15,793 --> 00:31:17,493
Oh, my goodness!
599
00:31:17,494 --> 00:31:19,494
- What's your name?
- Billy.
600
00:31:19,495 --> 00:31:21,763
- You've had Billy for the school year?
- No, no.
601
00:31:21,764 --> 00:31:24,265
- And he's going back for the summer?
- I just got him today.
602
00:31:24,266 --> 00:31:26,401
- And you already want to send him back?
- You got him today!
603
00:31:26,402 --> 00:31:29,005
Yeah, my wife passed.
604
00:31:30,005 --> 00:31:32,108
- Aw! I'm sorry to hear it.
- Your grandmother?
605
00:31:32,109 --> 00:31:33,908
Did he love Grandma?
606
00:31:33,909 --> 00:31:36,110
- No.
- He didn't?
607
00:31:36,111 --> 00:31:38,214
If you'd have met her,
you'd have felt the same way.
608
00:31:38,215 --> 00:31:40,882
You think she died of
a broken heart?
609
00:31:40,883 --> 00:31:43,323
- Heart attack.
- Well, I can tell you what she didn't die of.
610
00:31:44,787 --> 00:31:45,587
Oh, my.
611
00:31:46,556 --> 00:31:48,123
It'll get there overnight.
612
00:31:48,124 --> 00:31:49,558
You know that they're
just gonna be
613
00:31:49,559 --> 00:31:51,293
throwing you around
and everything, don't you?
614
00:31:51,294 --> 00:31:54,629
Well, give me a pen and
we'll write "fragile" on it.
615
00:31:54,630 --> 00:31:56,898
Are you sure
you want to do this?
616
00:31:56,899 --> 00:31:58,466
You need a blanket?
617
00:31:58,467 --> 00:32:00,401
- We can't ship a human!
- I'll take one.
618
00:32:00,402 --> 00:32:03,139
You can if you didn't know
this happened.
619
00:32:03,140 --> 00:32:06,242
I can't ship you.
You're... You're living!
620
00:32:06,243 --> 00:32:07,810
Should we call the police
on them?
621
00:32:07,811 --> 00:32:09,949
Oh, no! No police.
622
00:32:12,949 --> 00:32:15,184
Just help me get him out of the box.
I'll take him.
623
00:32:15,185 --> 00:32:17,164
Shit! Come on.
624
00:32:27,164 --> 00:32:29,665
Been in this car all damn day!
625
00:32:29,666 --> 00:32:31,603
I need a break.
626
00:32:33,603 --> 00:32:35,169
Where are we going?
627
00:32:35,170 --> 00:32:37,773
Grandpa's going
to play a little bingo.
628
00:32:37,774 --> 00:32:39,975
- Can I come?
- No!
629
00:32:39,976 --> 00:32:41,057
Look. They don't allow kids
630
00:32:42,012 --> 00:32:44,780
and I'm going to be talking
to ladies in there.
631
00:32:44,781 --> 00:32:47,183
And I don't need you
cockblocking.
632
00:32:47,184 --> 00:32:48,520
G-51.
633
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:51,320
N-42.
634
00:32:55,024 --> 00:32:56,694
G-60.
635
00:32:57,694 --> 00:33:00,630
It's been a while
since I've played.
636
00:33:01,630 --> 00:33:03,866
Nice to meet you, ma'am.
Good luck.
637
00:33:03,867 --> 00:33:05,133
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
638
00:33:05,134 --> 00:33:07,203
- My name is O.Z.
- O.Z.!
639
00:33:07,204 --> 00:33:08,538
- O.Z.
- All right!
640
00:33:08,539 --> 00:33:10,304
Can I cheat off you?
641
00:33:10,305 --> 00:33:11,105
B-2.
642
00:33:12,041 --> 00:33:13,210
G-46.
643
00:33:15,210 --> 00:33:17,813
O.Z., what do you say
we blow this joint
644
00:33:17,814 --> 00:33:20,315
and go play
strip bingo outside?
645
00:33:20,316 --> 00:33:21,116
Stop it.
646
00:33:23,053 --> 00:33:26,054
That damn dauber's not...
Oh.
647
00:33:26,055 --> 00:33:28,196
God damn it.
Done spilled everywhere.
648
00:33:33,196 --> 00:33:34,864
N-62.
649
00:33:35,864 --> 00:33:37,500
Stop the game. Stop!
650
00:33:37,501 --> 00:33:39,103
Oh, my gosh!
651
00:33:41,103 --> 00:33:42,337
Oh.
652
00:33:42,338 --> 00:33:44,774
I think this shit's
done gone bad.
653
00:33:46,075 --> 00:33:47,908
Oh, my God!
654
00:33:47,909 --> 00:33:50,648
He just drunk the dauber shit.
655
00:33:51,648 --> 00:33:53,916
Oh, man! You can't do that!
656
00:33:53,917 --> 00:33:55,450
Hell, no!
657
00:33:55,451 --> 00:33:56,552
Yuck.
658
00:33:56,553 --> 00:33:57,919
Stop.
659
00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,154
Stop!
660
00:33:59,155 --> 00:34:01,256
Stop? Hell, keep going!
661
00:34:01,257 --> 00:34:02,757
You're making everybody sick.
662
00:34:02,758 --> 00:34:04,426
No, come on, come on!
663
00:34:04,427 --> 00:34:07,766
Let's go back
to the damn game, all right?
664
00:34:09,766 --> 00:34:13,936
God damn! You guys
are driving me to drink!
665
00:34:13,937 --> 00:34:15,804
I need a drink.
666
00:34:20,909 --> 00:34:24,616
I got a damn margarita!
Who wants a margarita?
667
00:34:27,616 --> 00:34:30,218
O.Z., half of this is for you.
668
00:34:30,219 --> 00:34:32,922
How about a little fun, people?
669
00:34:52,708 --> 00:34:56,044
Excuse me? Sir?
Can you tie my shoe, please?
670
00:34:56,045 --> 00:34:57,178
Yeah, sure.
671
00:34:57,179 --> 00:34:59,615
- Are you married?
- Yeah.
672
00:34:59,616 --> 00:35:01,316
Are you happily married?
673
00:35:01,317 --> 00:35:02,656
Yeah, I guess so.
674
00:35:06,656 --> 00:35:07,993
Why do you ask?
675
00:35:09,993 --> 00:35:11,325
I want a new dad.
676
00:35:11,326 --> 00:35:13,830
Oh, do you? Yeah, sorry.
677
00:35:14,830 --> 00:35:16,064
What's your name?
678
00:35:16,065 --> 00:35:17,666
Dan.
679
00:35:17,667 --> 00:35:20,505
Hey, Dan, I got an idea.
680
00:35:22,505 --> 00:35:24,174
How about me
being your new kid?
681
00:35:25,174 --> 00:35:26,844
Um...
682
00:35:27,844 --> 00:35:30,211
I don't know if it's really
quite that simple.
683
00:35:30,212 --> 00:35:31,492
You know,
you can't really, uh...
684
00:35:32,348 --> 00:35:33,448
Why?
685
00:35:33,449 --> 00:35:36,852
You can't really trade kids
between families, can you?
686
00:35:36,853 --> 00:35:39,120
Sure you can, Dad.
687
00:35:39,121 --> 00:35:41,289
You know, when I was overseas,
688
00:35:41,290 --> 00:35:44,126
when you would sleep with
a prostitute, they would
689
00:35:44,127 --> 00:35:46,028
squeeze lime juice
on your schmeckle
690
00:35:46,029 --> 00:35:48,196
to see if you had any diseases.
691
00:35:48,197 --> 00:35:50,865
And if you went, "Ow!"
692
00:35:50,866 --> 00:35:54,702
It means you got something,
'cause the cuts burn.
693
00:35:54,703 --> 00:35:57,176
I never went, "Ow!"
But one time.
694
00:36:02,045 --> 00:36:04,378
It's all cleared up now,
though.
695
00:36:04,379 --> 00:36:06,782
Ma'am, it's all cleared up.
696
00:36:06,783 --> 00:36:08,716
- Oh, okay.
- All right.
697
00:36:08,717 --> 00:36:11,253
Just to prove to you I don't
have anything, ladies,
698
00:36:11,254 --> 00:36:13,320
I'm gonna squeeze
this lime juice
699
00:36:13,321 --> 00:36:14,390
on my schmeckle right now.
700
00:36:14,391 --> 00:36:15,490
Oh, my God!
701
00:36:15,491 --> 00:36:16,892
Okay.
702
00:36:16,893 --> 00:36:19,394
Why resist? Watch this.
Here it goes. Here it goes!
703
00:36:19,395 --> 00:36:22,231
Nothing. Nothing.
704
00:36:22,232 --> 00:36:26,836
- I got nothing.
- That is free advertising right there.
705
00:36:26,837 --> 00:36:29,104
It did sting a little when
it got to my bunghole though,
706
00:36:29,105 --> 00:36:30,738
I'll tell you that.
707
00:36:30,739 --> 00:36:33,408
That's just between us girls.
708
00:36:33,409 --> 00:36:35,980
I'm gonna have to
have that checked out.
709
00:36:37,980 --> 00:36:39,682
G-37.
710
00:36:39,683 --> 00:36:40,483
Bingo!
711
00:36:42,219 --> 00:36:45,257
Ha ha! Bingo!
712
00:36:47,257 --> 00:36:49,157
Bingo!
713
00:36:49,158 --> 00:36:51,862
Can someone check that
bingo for me, please?
714
00:36:52,862 --> 00:36:55,366
You hush. You hush.
715
00:36:57,366 --> 00:36:59,200
You hush, too.
716
00:36:59,201 --> 00:37:02,937
No, I won't. I'm a grown man.
I can talk. I can talk.
717
00:37:02,938 --> 00:37:04,074
I can talk.
718
00:37:05,074 --> 00:37:06,709
Tattletales.
719
00:37:06,710 --> 00:37:10,515
The bingo is not possible because we
have no N, so we will keep playing.
720
00:37:11,515 --> 00:37:13,319
Well, shit!
721
00:37:16,319 --> 00:37:18,322
G-53.
722
00:37:20,322 --> 00:37:22,259
What happened to your dad?
723
00:37:23,259 --> 00:37:24,827
Hey, Dad.
724
00:37:24,828 --> 00:37:25,996
Yeah, what happened to him?
725
00:37:26,996 --> 00:37:28,831
- No, you're my dad.
- Hmm?
726
00:37:28,832 --> 00:37:30,167
High 5, Dad.
727
00:37:31,167 --> 00:37:32,842
Down low. Too slow.
728
00:37:38,842 --> 00:37:40,408
Who are you here with?
729
00:37:40,409 --> 00:37:42,678
You. My new dad.
730
00:37:42,679 --> 00:37:45,247
Well, I'm not your new dad.
But...
731
00:37:45,248 --> 00:37:46,814
You're funny.
732
00:37:46,815 --> 00:37:47,615
Um...
733
00:37:49,353 --> 00:37:51,020
Hey, Dad,
look at me in the eye.
734
00:37:52,020 --> 00:37:53,155
Like...
735
00:37:53,156 --> 00:37:54,622
I love you.
736
00:37:54,623 --> 00:37:56,362
Anyway, I need to, uh...
737
00:37:59,362 --> 00:38:02,033
I got stuff I have to do,
so, uh... Be safe.
738
00:38:04,033 --> 00:38:05,703
Love you, Dad!
739
00:38:07,703 --> 00:38:09,303
Oh, here she is!
740
00:38:09,304 --> 00:38:11,039
Here I am.
You want to buy some 22's?
741
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,041
- What are 22's?
- You wish you was 22.
742
00:38:13,042 --> 00:38:16,246
They look like 36D's to me.
743
00:38:17,246 --> 00:38:18,246
No.
744
00:38:18,380 --> 00:38:22,050
No? 36 full Cs.
745
00:38:22,051 --> 00:38:24,721
22s, that's what they are!
'
746
00:38:25,721 --> 00:38:27,891
Can I use your pen?
747
00:38:28,891 --> 00:38:30,725
Yes, you may, sweetheart.
748
00:38:30,726 --> 00:38:33,061
All right! How you doing?
749
00:38:33,062 --> 00:38:34,562
Okay.
750
00:38:34,563 --> 00:38:37,399
You know, you're pretty sexy.
751
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:38,666
Thank you.
752
00:38:38,667 --> 00:38:40,603
I mean really sexy.
753
00:38:41,603 --> 00:38:42,736
I...
754
00:38:42,737 --> 00:38:44,039
I have to take this up there.
755
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,513
All right.
756
00:38:51,513 --> 00:38:53,252
What's your name, sweetheart?
757
00:38:58,420 --> 00:39:00,592
I'm getting froze out.
758
00:39:02,592 --> 00:39:04,860
Did you win any money at bingo?
759
00:39:04,861 --> 00:39:06,931
No.
760
00:39:07,931 --> 00:39:10,100
You shouldn't drink so much.
761
00:39:11,100 --> 00:39:12,600
Pipe down!
762
00:39:12,601 --> 00:39:14,936
Oh, God.
763
00:39:14,937 --> 00:39:17,539
Do you have any idea
how heavy you are?
764
00:39:17,540 --> 00:39:20,978
Do you have any idea
how I don't give a shit?
765
00:39:21,978 --> 00:39:23,513
Where are we going?
766
00:39:24,513 --> 00:39:26,315
Just keep going straight.
767
00:39:27,315 --> 00:39:29,853
- You getting tired?
- Yeah.
768
00:39:30,853 --> 00:39:33,122
Are you an alcoholic?
769
00:39:33,123 --> 00:39:35,191
No, I'm not an alcoholic.
770
00:39:35,192 --> 00:39:37,295
I wouldn't be surprised
if you are.
771
00:39:39,295 --> 00:39:41,632
Just had a couple too many.
772
00:39:42,632 --> 00:39:46,904
Onward! Onward!
773
00:39:48,904 --> 00:39:51,245
Oh, let's get something to eat.
774
00:39:55,245 --> 00:39:56,746
Make a left.
775
00:39:57,746 --> 00:40:00,582
Okay. Go here! No, Billy!
776
00:40:00,583 --> 00:40:01,918
It's heavy.
777
00:40:02,918 --> 00:40:05,922
No, push me this way.
Push me this way.
778
00:40:06,922 --> 00:40:09,929
Lisa! Lisa, come
look at this.
779
00:40:12,929 --> 00:40:15,933
He's drunk,
and he's drinking beer.
780
00:40:16,933 --> 00:40:18,768
Oh, he got a 6 pack.
781
00:40:19,768 --> 00:40:22,105
- Push me.
- Oh.
782
00:40:23,105 --> 00:40:24,275
Hello?
783
00:40:25,275 --> 00:40:26,740
We'd like some food.
784
00:40:26,741 --> 00:40:28,943
Okay, what you need?
785
00:40:28,944 --> 00:40:30,945
Chickens.
786
00:40:30,946 --> 00:40:32,449
Chicken breast.
787
00:40:33,449 --> 00:40:35,551
Any kind of breast.
788
00:40:36,551 --> 00:40:37,885
Sir, you need some help?
789
00:40:37,886 --> 00:40:39,454
Yes, I need some service!
790
00:40:39,455 --> 00:40:41,323
Okay, well, you got to...
We'll get you served,
791
00:40:41,324 --> 00:40:43,291
I need to push you over here.
We'll bring it out to you.
792
00:40:43,292 --> 00:40:44,593
Need to get you away from here.
793
00:40:44,594 --> 00:40:46,294
Let me push you over
to the side, okay?
794
00:40:46,295 --> 00:40:47,896
Can you let go
of the thing there?
795
00:40:47,897 --> 00:40:49,231
I'll push you over to the side.
796
00:40:49,232 --> 00:40:50,597
- Okay, but...
- What do you want?
797
00:40:50,598 --> 00:40:52,066
Do you guys serve beers?
798
00:40:52,067 --> 00:40:53,468
No, we don't serve beer.
799
00:40:53,469 --> 00:40:55,403
How about whiskey?
800
00:40:55,404 --> 00:40:56,972
Um, no, we don't have
whiskey, either.
801
00:40:56,973 --> 00:41:00,742
Sir, what do you have that's
good in there for a hangover?
802
00:41:00,743 --> 00:41:03,644
To eat? I mean, greasy food
is always good.
803
00:41:03,645 --> 00:41:06,414
But a hangover? Sleep.
He got to sleep it off.
804
00:41:06,415 --> 00:41:08,416
Man, that girl
working the window,
805
00:41:08,417 --> 00:41:09,953
she was nice-looking.
806
00:41:11,152 --> 00:41:13,088
- She's nice-looking?
- Yeah.
807
00:41:13,089 --> 00:41:14,456
Well, you just chill out here
for a minute.
808
00:41:14,457 --> 00:41:15,756
We're gonna see
if we can get you some help.
809
00:41:15,757 --> 00:41:17,825
Okay, we need some chickens
810
00:41:17,826 --> 00:41:20,797
and a big side of poontang.
811
00:41:22,330 --> 00:41:24,599
The poontang?
There's some inside.
812
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,669
Well, I want some to go.
Go hook that up.
813
00:41:27,670 --> 00:41:29,005
He's stuck on Lisa.
814
00:41:30,005 --> 00:41:31,873
That's what he want.
815
00:41:33,542 --> 00:41:35,044
- Black bush gal?
- Lisa!
816
00:41:35,045 --> 00:41:36,778
He said he wanted poontang.
817
00:41:36,779 --> 00:41:37,982
He'll hook you up!
818
00:41:39,982 --> 00:41:41,716
What? No, he don't.
819
00:41:41,717 --> 00:41:43,117
Excuse me, honey.
820
00:41:43,118 --> 00:41:44,285
That's what he's hollering.
821
00:41:44,286 --> 00:41:45,954
That's what he wants, Lisa.
822
00:41:45,955 --> 00:41:48,826
Honest to God, strike me dead.
823
00:41:50,826 --> 00:41:52,827
Lisa, that man is 80 years old.
824
00:41:52,828 --> 00:41:54,128
I turned around and I said,
825
00:41:54,129 --> 00:41:55,597
"Did he say what
I thought he just said?"
826
00:41:55,598 --> 00:41:57,332
You better go out there.
827
00:41:57,333 --> 00:41:59,767
He is 80 years old
in a shopping cart.
828
00:41:59,768 --> 00:42:01,447
Cut the man a break.
829
00:42:12,447 --> 00:42:14,018
Siempre avante.
Know what that means?
830
00:42:15,018 --> 00:42:16,318
No.
831
00:42:16,319 --> 00:42:17,855
Onward and forward.
832
00:42:18,855 --> 00:42:23,858
You know, rubber on wheel
is faster than rubber on heel.
833
00:42:23,859 --> 00:42:25,294
That's what
Lightnin' Hopkins says.
834
00:42:25,295 --> 00:42:26,729
You know who
Lightnin' Hopkins is?
835
00:42:26,730 --> 00:42:27,863
No.
836
00:42:27,864 --> 00:42:30,134
What about Komodo dragons?
You know what those are?
837
00:42:31,134 --> 00:42:32,367
No.
838
00:42:32,368 --> 00:42:34,369
You don't know
who Johnny Cash is?
839
00:42:34,370 --> 00:42:35,537
No.
840
00:42:35,538 --> 00:42:37,539
Ask me what
the secret of comedy is.
841
00:42:37,540 --> 00:42:38,640
What is...
842
00:42:38,641 --> 00:42:40,076
Timing! Get it?
843
00:42:42,210 --> 00:42:43,313
What?
844
00:42:44,313 --> 00:42:45,446
That's not funny?
845
00:42:45,447 --> 00:42:46,581
No.
846
00:42:46,582 --> 00:42:48,221
Ugh. Tough room.
847
00:42:52,221 --> 00:42:53,021
I love this song!
848
00:42:58,060 --> 00:42:58,996
Uh, you're kind of...
849
00:43:00,996 --> 00:43:02,083
Weird.
850
00:43:21,083 --> 00:43:22,587
Dirty bastard!
851
00:43:25,587 --> 00:43:26,922
Oh...
852
00:43:30,592 --> 00:43:31,927
You okay?
853
00:43:31,928 --> 00:43:33,596
Oh, God.
854
00:43:34,596 --> 00:43:35,598
Oh...
855
00:43:36,598 --> 00:43:37,932
You all right, Grandpa?
856
00:43:37,933 --> 00:43:39,700
Yeah, I'm all right.
857
00:43:39,701 --> 00:43:42,269
Caught me right in the puss!
858
00:43:42,270 --> 00:43:43,370
You want some ice?
859
00:43:43,371 --> 00:43:44,771
You need me to get
some ice for you?
860
00:43:44,772 --> 00:43:47,441
Yeah, maybe some ice.
861
00:43:47,442 --> 00:43:50,412
My damn wife put these
in here and it...
862
00:43:50,413 --> 00:43:51,783
Ow!
863
00:43:53,783 --> 00:43:56,651
Did you see the tuchas
on that one?
864
00:43:56,652 --> 00:43:57,491
Ow!
865
00:44:02,491 --> 00:44:04,126
Should I get a basket?
866
00:44:04,127 --> 00:44:05,397
No. We ain't gonna need one.
867
00:44:11,333 --> 00:44:12,173
You like white bread?
868
00:44:13,002 --> 00:44:14,602
Yep.
869
00:44:14,603 --> 00:44:15,940
Good.
870
00:44:18,940 --> 00:44:20,441
Um... What are you doing?
871
00:44:20,442 --> 00:44:22,016
Just go with it.
872
00:44:26,016 --> 00:44:28,849
Are we going to get
in trouble for this?
873
00:44:28,850 --> 00:44:32,019
No. If someone says anything,
just tell them
874
00:44:32,020 --> 00:44:35,023
that your grandpa's old and
doesn't know what he's doing.
875
00:44:35,024 --> 00:44:36,258
Ooh. You want turkey or ham?
876
00:44:36,259 --> 00:44:37,691
Ham.
877
00:44:37,692 --> 00:44:38,492
Ham?
878
00:44:39,362 --> 00:44:40,433
All right.
879
00:44:44,433 --> 00:44:45,533
Here.
880
00:44:45,534 --> 00:44:47,202
Get you a lot.
881
00:44:47,203 --> 00:44:48,337
Let's get some damn mustard.
882
00:44:49,337 --> 00:44:50,137
Here.
883
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:53,440
- That's a lot of mustard.
- Eat it!
884
00:44:59,382 --> 00:45:00,182
Mmm.
885
00:45:03,987 --> 00:45:06,824
So I eat it quick,
so we don't get caught.
886
00:45:08,824 --> 00:45:09,624
Sir.
887
00:45:09,991 --> 00:45:11,559
What's going on?
888
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:13,561
- What's going on?
- Yes.
889
00:45:13,562 --> 00:45:15,530
You eating everything here.
890
00:45:15,531 --> 00:45:17,566
- You don't pay yet.
- Huh?
891
00:45:17,567 --> 00:45:21,403
You eating things here in
the store and don't pay yet.
892
00:45:21,404 --> 00:45:23,238
- So he took that one.
- Please don't get mad.
893
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:24,338
Huh?
894
00:45:24,339 --> 00:45:25,407
He took this.
895
00:45:25,408 --> 00:45:26,841
- And you put it there.
- No.
896
00:45:26,842 --> 00:45:28,910
Yes, I saw.
It's in the camera.
897
00:45:28,911 --> 00:45:30,245
No.
898
00:45:30,246 --> 00:45:31,579
Okay.
899
00:45:31,580 --> 00:45:33,314
Please don't get mad
at my grandpa.
900
00:45:33,315 --> 00:45:35,249
He's old and he doesn't
know what he's doing.
901
00:45:35,250 --> 00:45:36,850
What's going on?
902
00:45:36,851 --> 00:45:37,919
Where am I?
903
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:39,021
You know what he's doing, baby.
904
00:45:39,022 --> 00:45:40,921
You know what he doing
and you doing it with him.
905
00:45:40,922 --> 00:45:42,756
Sometimes he shits himself.
906
00:45:42,757 --> 00:45:43,925
No. You took that one.
907
00:45:43,926 --> 00:45:45,427
And sometimes he sits in it
like a baby.
908
00:45:45,428 --> 00:45:48,762
I don't shit myself,
you little prick.
909
00:45:48,763 --> 00:45:50,430
- Sometimes he pisses the bed.
- Okay, you opened these...
910
00:45:50,431 --> 00:45:52,032
- Do not!
- Do, too!
911
00:45:52,033 --> 00:45:53,434
- Do not!
- Do, too!
912
00:45:53,435 --> 00:45:54,568
- Do not!
- You opened the ham
913
00:45:54,569 --> 00:45:55,771
and you don't pay.
914
00:45:55,772 --> 00:45:57,039
- Can I have his...
- Close the doors.
915
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:58,206
I'm gonna call the police.
916
00:45:58,207 --> 00:46:00,942
Can he have his chocolate milk
back, please, ma'am?
917
00:46:06,382 --> 00:46:07,620
Ugh.
918
00:46:10,620 --> 00:46:13,088
They won't notice a thing.
919
00:46:13,089 --> 00:46:16,291
That's how it looks most
of the time anyway. Come on.
920
00:46:16,292 --> 00:46:17,425
Come on.
921
00:46:17,426 --> 00:46:19,760
Let's go quick.
Let's go quick.
922
00:46:19,761 --> 00:46:21,134
Come on. Let's go this way.
923
00:46:25,134 --> 00:46:26,267
Oh! Uh...
924
00:46:26,268 --> 00:46:28,102
Thank you!
925
00:46:28,103 --> 00:46:29,772
Get the hats! Get the hats!
926
00:46:30,772 --> 00:46:32,606
Come on, come on!
927
00:46:32,607 --> 00:46:33,777
Come on!
928
00:46:34,777 --> 00:46:36,544
- What are y'all doing?
- Whoa, whoa!
929
00:46:36,545 --> 00:46:37,878
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
930
00:46:37,879 --> 00:46:39,448
- It was $3.99!
- Stop!
931
00:46:39,449 --> 00:46:40,582
Yeah. Come on!
932
00:46:40,583 --> 00:46:41,883
You're not going anywhere!
933
00:46:41,884 --> 00:46:44,050
Leave us alone!
Leave us alone!
934
00:46:44,051 --> 00:46:45,620
No. You're not going anywhere.
935
00:46:45,621 --> 00:46:48,222
Hey, Billy, get in!
Start it up!
936
00:46:48,223 --> 00:46:49,791
They're going to take
that child away from you.
937
00:46:49,792 --> 00:46:51,225
I wish they would!
938
00:46:51,226 --> 00:46:52,959
- Get back inside!
- I'm sorry.
939
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:54,095
Get your ass inside!
940
00:46:54,096 --> 00:46:55,396
Ma'am, I'm sorry.
941
00:46:55,397 --> 00:46:57,231
You are sorry!
You're sorry as hell!
942
00:46:57,232 --> 00:46:58,532
No, I'm not gonna...
943
00:46:58,533 --> 00:46:59,968
You're eating what you stole!
944
00:46:59,969 --> 00:47:01,468
What am I supposed
to do with it?
945
00:47:01,469 --> 00:47:02,738
You buy it!
946
00:47:02,739 --> 00:47:04,139
- You pay for it.
- If I had money, I would.
947
00:47:04,140 --> 00:47:05,573
You had enough money
to come in here
948
00:47:05,574 --> 00:47:07,575
and the audacity to try
to steal from me.
949
00:47:07,576 --> 00:47:09,244
These are
pretty good, by the way.
950
00:47:09,245 --> 00:47:10,311
I don't give a shit.
951
00:47:10,312 --> 00:47:11,646
I ought to stuff it down
your damn throat.
952
00:47:11,647 --> 00:47:12,747
You're very pretty
when you're mad.
953
00:47:12,748 --> 00:47:13,814
You're pissing me off!
954
00:47:13,815 --> 00:47:14,916
You're very lovely
when you're mad.
955
00:47:14,917 --> 00:47:15,797
You're pissing me off.
956
00:47:23,491 --> 00:47:24,630
All right, come on.
957
00:47:30,098 --> 00:47:31,174
Hi.
958
00:47:38,174 --> 00:47:39,946
All right.
959
00:47:43,946 --> 00:47:46,382
- Okay.
- Ow!
960
00:47:47,382 --> 00:47:49,382
I got her.
961
00:47:51,654 --> 00:47:52,658
Ah, Jesus...
962
00:47:55,658 --> 00:47:57,027
Here we go. Oh! Jesus.
963
00:47:59,027 --> 00:48:00,894
It's all right.
She's already dead.
964
00:48:00,895 --> 00:48:02,030
What?
965
00:48:02,031 --> 00:48:04,201
Yeah, she died a few days ago.
966
00:48:06,201 --> 00:48:08,637
We're just bringing her in
'cause it's respectful.
967
00:48:08,638 --> 00:48:10,873
Don't want to leave her
in the trunk.
968
00:48:11,873 --> 00:48:12,673
All right.
969
00:48:13,007 --> 00:48:14,007
Oh! Get in there!
970
00:48:14,643 --> 00:48:15,443
Oh, shit.
971
00:48:19,047 --> 00:48:22,719
Grandpa's going out for
a walk. You stay in the room.
972
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:26,723
See you later, old man.
973
00:48:27,723 --> 00:48:29,557
Stay in there, damn it.
974
00:48:29,558 --> 00:48:31,526
My grandson.
975
00:48:31,527 --> 00:48:34,162
Hey, you don't know
where any, uh,
976
00:48:34,163 --> 00:48:36,366
like, dance clubs or anything
like that are?
977
00:48:37,366 --> 00:48:40,035
Like, with lots
of, uh, black ladies.
978
00:48:40,036 --> 00:48:42,870
Oh, there's one on, um...
979
00:48:42,871 --> 00:48:44,604
Richard Boulevard.
980
00:48:44,605 --> 00:48:45,941
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
981
00:48:45,942 --> 00:48:47,408
I'm really fond
982
00:48:47,409 --> 00:48:48,876
- of the black ladies.
- Yeah.
983
00:48:48,877 --> 00:48:51,013
Yeah. They used to call me
Jizzy Gillespie
984
00:48:52,013 --> 00:48:53,884
- when I was younger.
- Oh, yeah?
985
00:48:55,884 --> 00:48:57,752
Hey, get in the room!
986
00:49:34,957 --> 00:49:36,496
Hello. How are you?
987
00:49:40,496 --> 00:49:41,729
Hello, ladies!
988
00:49:41,730 --> 00:49:43,298
Hey, grandpa, how you doing?
989
00:49:43,299 --> 00:49:44,339
Good! How you doing, baby?
990
00:49:45,268 --> 00:49:46,672
All right!
991
00:49:50,672 --> 00:49:51,472
Wow.
992
00:49:57,112 --> 00:50:00,515
Hi, sweetheart.
Wow, you are nice-looking!
993
00:50:00,516 --> 00:50:01,782
Thank you!
994
00:50:01,783 --> 00:50:04,650
Can I get a Colt 45, please?
995
00:50:34,650 --> 00:50:36,025
That thing's about like that!
996
00:50:43,025 --> 00:50:46,998
Hey, big boy! Is this one of
them stripteaser shows?
997
00:50:49,998 --> 00:50:51,265
That's perfect,
998
00:50:51,266 --> 00:50:54,901
because I like to catch these
women when they're soggy.
999
00:50:54,902 --> 00:50:56,570
So you boys do
a good job tonight,
1000
00:50:56,571 --> 00:50:57,872
- all right?
- Okay.
1001
00:50:57,873 --> 00:50:59,707
Get them all hot and bothered,
1002
00:50:59,708 --> 00:51:01,675
and I'm gonna try to swoop in
1003
00:51:01,676 --> 00:51:03,644
- and get me a little.
- Okay, okay.
1004
00:51:03,645 --> 00:51:04,912
Are you one of them dancers?
1005
00:51:04,913 --> 00:51:06,314
Yeah, I am.
1006
00:51:06,315 --> 00:51:08,152
I bet you got a pretty
big Tootsie Roll, huh?
1007
00:51:11,152 --> 00:51:11,987
What?
1008
00:51:12,987 --> 00:51:15,391
Get the fuck away from me, man.
1009
00:51:16,558 --> 00:51:18,091
But I mean,
if you're a dancer...
1010
00:51:18,092 --> 00:51:21,333
I'm sorry, I was just...
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1011
00:51:24,333 --> 00:51:26,434
How are you ladies
doing down here?
1012
00:51:26,435 --> 00:51:27,901
Fine. How are you?
1013
00:51:27,902 --> 00:51:30,671
Good, good. I came here alone,
1014
00:51:30,672 --> 00:51:31,907
so I'm sorry
if I'm bothering you.
1015
00:51:31,908 --> 00:51:33,009
What made you come in here?
1016
00:51:34,009 --> 00:51:35,130
I don't know. I was walking,
1017
00:51:36,011 --> 00:51:37,345
- uh, down the street...
- Walking?
1018
00:51:37,346 --> 00:51:39,247
You weren't walking nowhere!
1019
00:51:39,248 --> 00:51:41,816
What you gonna do,
watch it or watch us?
1020
00:51:41,817 --> 00:51:43,085
I came to watch you girls.
1021
00:51:45,886 --> 00:51:48,389
You ladies are gonna
get all worked up,
1022
00:51:48,390 --> 00:51:51,426
and then hopefully old Irving
can swoop in there.
1023
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:53,660
What's your name?
1024
00:51:53,661 --> 00:51:54,632
Irving.
1025
00:51:56,632 --> 00:51:59,466
Maybe some of these ladies
will want a serving of Irving,
1026
00:51:59,467 --> 00:52:00,737
if you know what I'm saying.
1027
00:52:01,737 --> 00:52:04,472
That's right. Thank you.
Thank you, mama!
1028
00:52:04,473 --> 00:52:06,106
If you're ready
for the next entertainer,
1029
00:52:06,107 --> 00:52:07,908
everybody say, "I am!"
1030
00:52:07,909 --> 00:52:09,312
I am!
1031
00:52:11,913 --> 00:52:13,982
I love chocolate!
1032
00:52:14,982 --> 00:52:17,154
He's harder than a horseshoe!
1033
00:52:19,154 --> 00:52:20,754
I'm pretty loose right now,
1034
00:52:20,755 --> 00:52:22,591
but I could probably
get it going.
1035
00:52:22,592 --> 00:52:25,225
We want to see yours. We want
you to walk the red carpet.
1036
00:52:25,226 --> 00:52:26,427
You want to see mine?
1037
00:52:26,428 --> 00:52:27,762
Walk the red carpet.
1038
00:52:27,763 --> 00:52:29,396
I'll show her mine right now!
1039
00:52:29,397 --> 00:52:31,399
We're gonna make it
rain. Walk the red carpet.
1040
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:34,135
I'm gonna go... I'm going
to walk the red carpet.
1041
00:52:34,136 --> 00:52:36,071
Yeah, I'm gonna shake it!
1042
00:52:43,312 --> 00:52:45,326
I don't know what
the fuck is going on.
1043
00:53:16,312 --> 00:53:17,723
Oh, oh...
1044
00:53:28,723 --> 00:53:29,770
What?
1045
00:55:02,583 --> 00:55:05,919
Excuse me?
Have you seen my grandpa?
1046
00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:07,254
Your grandpa?
1047
00:55:07,255 --> 00:55:10,024
I think he's lost.
He's kind of an idiot.
1048
00:55:10,025 --> 00:55:11,594
Why is he an idiot?
1049
00:55:12,594 --> 00:55:14,262
'Cause he's lost, duh.
1050
00:55:14,263 --> 00:55:15,595
Does he have a cell phone?
1051
00:55:15,596 --> 00:55:17,298
He's probably drunk right now.
1052
00:55:17,299 --> 00:55:20,434
He went to a strip club
last night.
1053
00:55:20,435 --> 00:55:24,604
I don't know what to tell you,
son. Oh, gosh.
1054
00:55:24,605 --> 00:55:26,611
Excuse me? Excuse me?
1055
00:55:28,611 --> 00:55:29,411
Screw you.
1056
00:55:36,283 --> 00:55:37,517
Who you looking for?
1057
00:55:37,518 --> 00:55:38,952
I'm looking for my grandpa.
1058
00:55:38,953 --> 00:55:40,722
Your grandpa's not here.
1059
00:55:40,723 --> 00:55:42,456
Is he in the Champagne Room?
1060
00:55:42,457 --> 00:55:44,291
There's nobody in there.
1061
00:55:44,292 --> 00:55:46,294
- Let me check.
- No.
1062
00:55:46,295 --> 00:55:47,595
Let me just go check.
1063
00:55:47,596 --> 00:55:48,466
I told you.
1064
00:55:50,466 --> 00:55:52,566
He's like, persistent.
He wants to go in there.
1065
00:55:52,567 --> 00:55:54,068
And he's talking about
having a great time
1066
00:55:54,069 --> 00:55:56,574
in the Champagne Room
like, he's like, 21.
1067
00:55:59,574 --> 00:56:00,675
What's up?
1068
00:56:00,676 --> 00:56:02,910
- Is this an adult bookstore?
- Yeah.
1069
00:56:02,911 --> 00:56:04,211
Is my grandpa in here?
1070
00:56:04,212 --> 00:56:05,812
No.
1071
00:56:05,813 --> 00:56:07,347
Is there somebody, like...
1072
00:56:07,348 --> 00:56:09,117
Is somebody, like,
watching you or something?
1073
00:56:09,118 --> 00:56:10,485
No.
1074
00:56:10,486 --> 00:56:12,854
Did you get that shirt
at Tramps R Us?
1075
00:56:12,855 --> 00:56:13,655
What?
1076
00:56:13,989 --> 00:56:15,823
Did you get that shirt
at Tramps R Us?
1077
00:56:15,824 --> 00:56:17,925
- No.
- Oh.
1078
00:56:17,926 --> 00:56:19,794
- How old are you?
- 8.
1079
00:56:19,795 --> 00:56:21,062
What's your name?
1080
00:56:21,063 --> 00:56:22,262
Billy.
1081
00:56:22,263 --> 00:56:23,664
When did you get here?
1082
00:56:23,665 --> 00:56:25,566
You're asking a lot
of questions for a stripper.
1083
00:56:25,567 --> 00:56:27,769
- What's your stage name?
- What?
1084
00:56:27,770 --> 00:56:29,370
What's your stripper
stage name?
1085
00:56:29,371 --> 00:56:30,805
I don't have a stage name.
I'm not a stripper.
1086
00:56:30,806 --> 00:56:32,206
I'll just call you Cinnamon.
1087
00:56:32,207 --> 00:56:33,474
- Cinnamon?
- What?
1088
00:56:33,475 --> 00:56:34,843
I look like a stripper?
1089
00:56:34,844 --> 00:56:36,744
Yeah. In a good way.
1090
00:56:36,745 --> 00:56:38,979
- In a good way?
- Oh, my...
1091
00:56:38,980 --> 00:56:41,749
Why don't you wait on me
and I'm gonna come, like,
1092
00:56:41,750 --> 00:56:44,318
take you to whatever
hotel you're at?
1093
00:56:44,319 --> 00:56:45,787
You don't need to be
out here by yourself.
1094
00:56:45,788 --> 00:56:48,289
You're gonna, like, get hurt.
1095
00:56:48,290 --> 00:56:50,560
There's a bunch
of crazy people out here.
1096
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:53,461
Apparently,
your grandpa's one of them.
1097
00:56:53,462 --> 00:56:55,463
Bye, Cinnamon. I got to go.
1098
00:56:55,464 --> 00:56:57,471
No. And I'm not Cinnamon!
1099
00:57:02,471 --> 00:57:03,604
How you doing?
1100
00:57:03,605 --> 00:57:04,806
Rough night.
1101
00:57:07,641 --> 00:57:09,410
Grandpa!
Where have you been?
1102
00:57:09,411 --> 00:57:11,979
Not now.
1103
00:57:11,980 --> 00:57:13,183
I've been worried!
1104
00:57:34,435 --> 00:57:36,839
What're we gonna do
with Grandma's body?
1105
00:57:37,839 --> 00:57:39,076
I don't know, buddy.
1106
00:57:41,076 --> 00:57:43,177
We met with someone
to discuss that,
1107
00:57:43,178 --> 00:57:44,579
but your grandma,
1108
00:57:44,580 --> 00:57:48,082
she wasn't very cooperative
that day.
1109
00:57:48,083 --> 00:57:50,885
Just said some nonsense about
1110
00:57:50,886 --> 00:57:52,487
throw her off a bridge
for all she cares.
1111
00:58:02,096 --> 00:58:04,765
You know what a woman likes?
1112
00:58:04,766 --> 00:58:06,101
A new fishing rod?
1113
00:58:07,101 --> 00:58:08,936
No.
1114
00:58:08,937 --> 00:58:10,105
Magic!
1115
00:58:11,105 --> 00:58:13,774
I can prove it.
You want to see?
1116
00:58:13,775 --> 00:58:14,812
- Sure.
- All right.
1117
00:58:18,112 --> 00:58:21,149
Hello, ma'am. You wouldn't
flatter an old man
1118
00:58:21,150 --> 00:58:23,618
by watching him do
a magic trick, would you?
1119
00:58:24,618 --> 00:58:27,622
Oh... That's good. All right,
keep your eye on the...
1120
00:58:27,623 --> 00:58:30,793
I'm going to make it disappear.
1121
00:58:31,793 --> 00:58:32,995
No charge, either.
1122
00:58:33,995 --> 00:58:35,128
Okay.
1123
00:58:35,129 --> 00:58:37,398
'Cause I don't have any money.
1124
00:58:37,399 --> 00:58:39,633
There we go! Where'd it go?
1125
00:58:39,634 --> 00:58:41,235
- In your sleeve?
- No.
1126
00:58:41,236 --> 00:58:42,636
- What's that on your thumb?
- What?
1127
00:58:43,471 --> 00:58:44,604
Look.
1128
00:58:44,605 --> 00:58:46,073
Will you give me that?
1129
00:58:46,074 --> 00:58:47,474
Ah.
1130
00:58:47,475 --> 00:58:48,575
Why don't you beat it?
1131
00:58:48,576 --> 00:58:50,177
But I want to stay with you.
1132
00:58:50,178 --> 00:58:52,479
Why don't you beat it?
1133
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:55,283
Grandpa's got to
talk to some tail.
1134
00:58:56,283 --> 00:58:57,818
He's...
1135
00:58:57,819 --> 00:59:00,922
He's a little cooter stretcher
is what he is.
1136
00:59:02,089 --> 00:59:03,493
You, uh...
You from this town?
1137
00:59:04,493 --> 00:59:05,758
Yeah. Born and raised.
1138
00:59:05,759 --> 00:59:08,327
Born and raised. You're awful pretty.
My goodness!
1139
00:59:08,328 --> 00:59:09,662
Thank you.
1140
00:59:09,663 --> 00:59:11,466
A beautiful young lady
like yourself,
1141
00:59:11,467 --> 00:59:13,099
I have something for you.
1142
00:59:13,100 --> 00:59:14,434
Oh, Lordy.
1143
00:59:14,435 --> 00:59:17,005
Here we go.
You're, uh, so kind.
1144
00:59:18,005 --> 00:59:19,606
- There you go.
- Oh, thank you.
1145
00:59:19,607 --> 00:59:22,876
Those are for you.
They're specially scented.
1146
00:59:22,877 --> 00:59:24,178
I bet.
1147
00:59:24,179 --> 00:59:27,113
You got time for an old man
like me, maybe?
1148
00:59:27,114 --> 00:59:31,285
We can blow this garmooshky
and go chase around a little.
1149
00:59:31,286 --> 00:59:32,787
Not tonight I don't.
1150
00:59:32,788 --> 00:59:34,857
- Not tonight?
- No.
1151
00:59:35,857 --> 00:59:38,261
You on a lunch break?
1152
00:59:39,261 --> 00:59:40,695
Yeah.
1153
00:59:40,696 --> 00:59:41,762
You married?
1154
00:59:41,763 --> 00:59:43,030
Oh, yeah.
1155
00:59:43,031 --> 00:59:45,300
Oh, boy. "Married" married?
1156
00:59:45,301 --> 00:59:49,202
"Married" married to
a gun-toting police officer.
1157
00:59:49,203 --> 00:59:52,774
- Oh, God! Of all the luck.
- There you go.
1158
00:59:55,043 --> 00:59:57,077
- All right, good times.
- See ya.
1159
00:59:57,078 --> 00:59:58,211
Bye.
1160
00:59:58,212 --> 00:59:59,892
If I had all the money
I spent on poontang,
1161
01:00:00,681 --> 01:00:02,849
you know what I'd do with it?
1162
01:00:02,850 --> 01:00:03,650
What?
1163
01:00:04,018 --> 01:00:05,154
Spend it on poontang.
1164
01:00:07,054 --> 01:00:10,728
1, 2, 3, 4,
I declare a thumb war.
1165
01:00:12,728 --> 01:00:14,762
1, 2, 3,
1166
01:00:14,763 --> 01:00:17,731
4, 5, 6,
1167
01:00:17,732 --> 01:00:19,332
7, 8...
1168
01:00:19,333 --> 01:00:20,434
Come on, you're a lefty.
1169
01:00:20,435 --> 01:00:21,535
You can be stronger than that.
1170
01:00:21,536 --> 01:00:23,070
I'm trying. I'm trying.
I'm trying.
1171
01:00:23,071 --> 01:00:26,073
It's because you're holding it
so close to the edge.
1172
01:00:26,074 --> 01:00:27,573
- Hello.
- Hi.
1173
01:00:27,574 --> 01:00:29,443
I see you have met my grandson.
1174
01:00:29,444 --> 01:00:30,912
Yeah.
1175
01:00:30,913 --> 01:00:32,546
Oh. My name is Irving. Oh.
1176
01:00:32,547 --> 01:00:34,414
I'm Lisa.
1177
01:00:34,415 --> 01:00:35,849
What was your name...
1178
01:00:35,850 --> 01:00:37,617
She's American.
You don't have to bow.
1179
01:00:37,618 --> 01:00:39,420
- What?
- You have a weird grandpa.
1180
01:00:40,589 --> 01:00:42,088
Where'd you go?
1181
01:00:42,089 --> 01:00:43,356
You told me to beat it
1182
01:00:43,357 --> 01:00:45,925
'cause you were gonna
talk to some tail.
1183
01:00:45,926 --> 01:00:47,926
Oh...
1184
01:00:48,529 --> 01:00:50,430
I said I was... To...
1185
01:00:50,431 --> 01:00:53,101
I was going to beat it to go
deliver some mail.
1186
01:00:54,101 --> 01:00:55,769
Oh, jeez.
1187
01:00:55,770 --> 01:00:58,740
You are hotter
than a Puerto Rican picnic.
1188
01:00:58,741 --> 01:00:59,621
Oh, my God, thank you!
1189
01:01:01,609 --> 01:01:03,276
- Thank you so much.
- Oh, my goodness!
1190
01:01:03,277 --> 01:01:04,845
You babysit big boys?
1191
01:01:04,846 --> 01:01:06,613
I do, yeah.
1192
01:01:06,614 --> 01:01:08,282
I mean big boys like me.
1193
01:01:08,283 --> 01:01:09,950
- Oh. No.
- No?
1194
01:01:09,951 --> 01:01:11,286
Definitely not.
1195
01:01:12,286 --> 01:01:13,954
Oh, well.
1196
01:01:13,955 --> 01:01:15,235
You win some,
you lose some, kid.
1197
01:01:17,125 --> 01:01:18,725
- Nice to meet you!
- See you. Bye-bye.
1198
01:01:18,726 --> 01:01:19,526
- Wow!
- Goodbye.
1199
01:01:21,295 --> 01:01:22,562
That was a slower no
1200
01:01:22,563 --> 01:01:24,631
than I usually get.
1201
01:01:24,632 --> 01:01:27,233
You may be useful after all!
1202
01:01:27,234 --> 01:01:29,503
You ever play charades?
1203
01:01:29,504 --> 01:01:30,839
Oh, oh...
1204
01:01:32,473 --> 01:01:34,242
Excuse me?
1205
01:01:34,243 --> 01:01:36,644
My grandpa
can't talk that well,
1206
01:01:36,645 --> 01:01:38,479
but he says
you're very beautiful.
1207
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:39,714
Thank you. Thank you so much.
1208
01:01:45,553 --> 01:01:48,155
Uh... Okay. I need to go.
1209
01:01:48,156 --> 01:01:49,789
I need to go.
Oh, my God.
1210
01:01:49,790 --> 01:01:52,425
Grandpa wants to know
if you're married!
1211
01:01:52,426 --> 01:01:55,263
Excuse me, my grandpa
would like to say something.
1212
01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:06,874
He wants to know if
you want to smell his finger.
1213
01:02:06,875 --> 01:02:09,877
No, no. No, no, no.
No, no. No, no.
1214
01:02:11,580 --> 01:02:13,713
He wants to know if
you're doing anything later.
1215
01:02:13,714 --> 01:02:16,152
Takes an old hen
to deliver the goods.
1216
01:02:18,152 --> 01:02:19,720
Is that a no?
1217
01:02:19,721 --> 01:02:22,156
- Is that a no?
- Old chickens make good soup.
1218
01:02:23,156 --> 01:02:24,926
Um.
1219
01:02:28,062 --> 01:02:29,829
My grandpa
can't talk that well,
1220
01:02:29,830 --> 01:02:31,933
but he says
you're very beautiful.
1221
01:02:32,933 --> 01:02:34,335
Hmm.
1222
01:02:35,335 --> 01:02:37,572
How do you know
that's what he said?
1223
01:02:47,415 --> 01:02:48,649
What did he say?
1224
01:02:48,650 --> 01:02:51,417
He says you make him
feel young again.
1225
01:02:51,418 --> 01:02:52,952
Mmm. Mmm.
1226
01:02:52,953 --> 01:02:54,088
Do you know what he's saying,
1227
01:02:54,089 --> 01:02:55,588
or are you just
making stuff up?
1228
01:02:55,589 --> 01:02:59,559
- I know what he's saying.
- Does he seem crazy to you sometime?
1229
01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:00,360
Yeah.
1230
01:03:01,094 --> 01:03:02,495
Excuse me!
1231
01:03:02,496 --> 01:03:03,598
Okay.
1232
01:03:07,768 --> 01:03:11,205
He wants to know where we can
get a hoagie around here.
1233
01:03:12,341 --> 01:03:13,407
A hoagie sandwich.
1234
01:03:13,408 --> 01:03:14,208
Um...
1235
01:03:17,411 --> 01:03:18,748
Hoagie sandwich.
1236
01:03:20,915 --> 01:03:22,951
Excuse me.
1237
01:03:28,255 --> 01:03:30,324
He says you look
like a nice Jew.
1238
01:03:31,893 --> 01:03:33,765
No, no, no, no...
1239
01:03:36,765 --> 01:03:39,099
Oh, he says
you have very nice shoes.
1240
01:03:39,100 --> 01:03:41,938
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah, nice.
1241
01:03:42,938 --> 01:03:44,305
Oh, we're just, uh...
1242
01:03:44,306 --> 01:03:47,108
We're just, uh, clowning
around. I'm trying to
1243
01:03:47,109 --> 01:03:49,510
teach him how to hit on women.
1244
01:03:49,511 --> 01:03:52,946
Oh, okay. I can kind of see
what was going on.
1245
01:03:52,947 --> 01:03:54,849
- How'd he do?
- You did very good.
1246
01:03:54,850 --> 01:03:56,950
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1247
01:03:56,951 --> 01:03:58,318
He's sweet. He's my grandson.
1248
01:03:58,319 --> 01:03:59,653
Okay.
1249
01:03:59,654 --> 01:04:00,787
Yes.
1250
01:04:00,788 --> 01:04:05,127
He goes to bed around
8:00 p.m. or so. So, uh...
1251
01:04:06,127 --> 01:04:09,129
After that,
I'm pretty much free.
1252
01:04:09,130 --> 01:04:11,798
No, I'm not... I'm not in the
market right now.
1253
01:04:11,799 --> 01:04:14,033
You know, I...
1254
01:04:14,034 --> 01:04:16,436
I might be too old
to stir the gravy,
1255
01:04:16,437 --> 01:04:17,872
but I can still lick the spoon,
1256
01:04:17,873 --> 01:04:19,873
that's for damn sure.
1257
01:04:20,141 --> 01:04:21,474
Well, good luck.
1258
01:04:21,475 --> 01:04:23,042
Oh. All right.
1259
01:04:23,043 --> 01:04:24,644
- We'll be right here.
- Okay.
1260
01:04:24,645 --> 01:04:26,382
All right, sweetie.
1261
01:04:28,984 --> 01:04:30,255
Good job, buddy.
1262
01:04:35,255 --> 01:04:37,124
Have you kissed a girl yet?
1263
01:04:37,125 --> 01:04:38,591
Yeah.
1264
01:04:38,592 --> 01:04:39,725
Was she your girlfriend?
1265
01:04:39,726 --> 01:04:41,095
Yeah.
1266
01:04:41,096 --> 01:04:42,396
How long
did you go out with her?
1267
01:04:42,397 --> 01:04:43,562
A day.
1268
01:04:43,563 --> 01:04:45,432
A day...
1269
01:04:45,433 --> 01:04:46,867
A day?
1270
01:04:46,868 --> 01:04:49,272
That sounds like
some of my relationships.
1271
01:04:50,272 --> 01:04:51,207
Grandpa!
1272
01:04:52,207 --> 01:04:53,874
Whoa!
1273
01:04:53,875 --> 01:04:55,236
Get that damn thing
out of the way!
1274
01:05:03,051 --> 01:05:05,151
Jesus Christ!
1275
01:05:05,152 --> 01:05:08,387
Why would you put a penguin
right in my driving spot?
1276
01:05:08,388 --> 01:05:10,289
In your...
Sir, there's a curb there.
1277
01:05:10,290 --> 01:05:11,791
The driveways
are there and there.
1278
01:05:11,792 --> 01:05:14,961
Look, lady, get off my back!
1279
01:05:14,962 --> 01:05:16,329
I'm an old man.
1280
01:05:16,330 --> 01:05:19,099
What happened to
"the customer's always right"?
1281
01:05:19,100 --> 01:05:21,302
Yeah, but you ain't right about
running over the penguin.
1282
01:05:21,303 --> 01:05:23,903
Why would they put
the penguin in my spot?
1283
01:05:23,904 --> 01:05:25,372
You ran over the penguin.
1284
01:05:25,373 --> 01:05:26,974
You put a penguin in my spot!
1285
01:05:26,975 --> 01:05:30,410
You ran over the penguin!
What are you talking about?
1286
01:05:30,411 --> 01:05:32,079
Well, you don't have
to yell at me.
1287
01:05:32,080 --> 01:05:33,414
Can I get out?
1288
01:05:33,415 --> 01:05:34,817
Stay in the car, Billy.
1289
01:05:35,817 --> 01:05:37,652
And watch this.
1290
01:05:38,652 --> 01:05:40,521
You can't... Look, buddy.
You're not going anywhere.
1291
01:05:40,522 --> 01:05:42,321
You're fixing the thing.
That's all I'm telling you.
1292
01:05:42,322 --> 01:05:43,858
Oh, I'm going to eat.
1293
01:05:43,859 --> 01:05:45,425
You're not going anywhere.
1294
01:05:45,426 --> 01:05:46,794
Watch out for the penguin, sir!
1295
01:05:46,795 --> 01:05:48,162
No, I see it.
1296
01:05:48,163 --> 01:05:49,829
You already hit the penguin.
1297
01:05:49,830 --> 01:05:52,101
Listen to me, you're going to
fix that penguin, bro.
1298
01:05:54,101 --> 01:05:55,202
Whether you like it or not,
1299
01:05:55,203 --> 01:05:56,336
believe me,
you're gonna fix it.
1300
01:05:56,337 --> 01:05:57,306
Nope.
1301
01:05:59,306 --> 01:06:02,344
I mean, if I was fixing it,
you'd see me fixing it, but...
1302
01:06:03,344 --> 01:06:04,188
I'm not fixing it.
1303
01:06:14,188 --> 01:06:16,289
Did you notice
how I wasn't fixing it?
1304
01:06:16,290 --> 01:06:17,657
I'm about to bust your ass.
1305
01:06:17,658 --> 01:06:18,458
Over a penguin?
1306
01:06:24,364 --> 01:06:26,205
Fucking leave
the penguin alone, bro.
1307
01:06:30,205 --> 01:06:33,907
I'm about to whip you, motherfucker.
Up your ass, bro.
1308
01:06:33,908 --> 01:06:37,111
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get your doober.
1309
01:06:37,112 --> 01:06:39,713
Oh. Oh. I got your doober.
1310
01:06:39,714 --> 01:06:41,981
I got your doober.
1311
01:06:41,982 --> 01:06:43,850
- I ate your doober.
- You shouldn't be fucking driving anyway.
1312
01:06:43,851 --> 01:06:46,253
- Your fucking 85 years old.
- I got his doober.
1313
01:06:46,254 --> 01:06:49,023
- Thank God that wasn't a human being.
- I got his doober and he's mad.
1314
01:06:49,024 --> 01:06:51,359
Okay, I'm gonna fucking...
1315
01:06:52,359 --> 01:06:56,396
Oh! Atomic elbow!
Atomic elbow!
1316
01:06:56,397 --> 01:06:58,631
I did a little wrestling
myself in my younger days.
1317
01:06:58,632 --> 01:07:00,166
Are you fucking
kidding me, bro?
1318
01:07:00,167 --> 01:07:01,700
What? Atomic elbow!
1319
01:07:01,701 --> 01:07:02,501
Are you kidding me?
1320
01:07:03,004 --> 01:07:05,805
I loved that duo with the
butcher when I was younger.
1321
01:07:05,806 --> 01:07:07,474
Are you fucking
kidding me, man?
1322
01:07:07,475 --> 01:07:09,049
Why? It's
an atomic elbow.
1323
01:07:16,049 --> 01:07:17,283
Wow.
1324
01:07:17,284 --> 01:07:19,554
That looks like the camel toe
in your pants!
1325
01:07:20,554 --> 01:07:22,389
Hoo-hah!
1326
01:07:22,390 --> 01:07:24,892
Get it?
I said you had a vagina.
1327
01:07:24,893 --> 01:07:27,227
That's a vagina reference.
1328
01:07:27,228 --> 01:07:28,729
You're gonna fix
this fucking penguin,
1329
01:07:28,730 --> 01:07:30,164
whether you like it or not.
You understand?
1330
01:07:30,165 --> 01:07:31,264
One second.
I'm gonna say it...
1331
01:07:31,265 --> 01:07:32,733
Am not, am not!
1332
01:07:32,734 --> 01:07:33,901
You're gonna fix
this fucking thing.
1333
01:07:33,902 --> 01:07:34,702
Nope, nope.
1334
01:07:35,002 --> 01:07:37,239
You gotta ask yourself,
"What leverage do I have?"
1335
01:07:39,239 --> 01:07:40,740
Not much!
1336
01:07:40,741 --> 01:07:43,413
You're a fucking jerkoff,
you know that?
1337
01:07:45,413 --> 01:07:46,914
"You're gonna
fix that penguin!"
1338
01:07:46,915 --> 01:07:48,081
"No, you're gonna fix it!"
1339
01:07:48,082 --> 01:07:49,249
"You're gonna fix it!"
1340
01:07:49,250 --> 01:07:50,417
"No, you're gonna!"
1341
01:07:51,585 --> 01:07:52,385
Table for two?
1342
01:07:53,288 --> 01:07:54,521
Yeah.
1343
01:07:54,522 --> 01:07:56,023
Okay. Right this way.
1344
01:07:56,024 --> 01:07:58,258
I'd like to fix her penguin.
1345
01:07:58,259 --> 01:08:00,927
Want to see how red
I can get my face?
1346
01:08:00,928 --> 01:08:02,368
Yeah.
1347
01:08:08,935 --> 01:08:10,871
Oh, stop, stop, stop!
1348
01:08:12,107 --> 01:08:13,907
Oh, my God.
1349
01:08:13,908 --> 01:08:15,946
That was redder
than an ape's ass.
1350
01:08:17,946 --> 01:08:19,079
Watch your mouth.
1351
01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:20,447
Oh, sorry.
1352
01:08:20,448 --> 01:08:22,389
That was redder
than an ape's tuchas.
1353
01:08:27,389 --> 01:08:29,455
Do you like a lot of milk?
1354
01:08:29,456 --> 01:08:31,961
Oh, boy, do I!
1355
01:08:32,961 --> 01:08:35,629
I like chocolate milk
sometimes.
1356
01:08:35,630 --> 01:08:37,496
Yeah, Grandpa's got a taste
for that, too.
1357
01:08:37,497 --> 01:08:38,799
Yeah.
1358
01:08:38,800 --> 01:08:41,303
He used to have
a big taste for it.
1359
01:08:42,303 --> 01:08:44,641
Why doesn't my mom like me?
1360
01:08:47,641 --> 01:08:49,809
Your mom likes you, buddy.
1361
01:08:49,810 --> 01:08:52,312
Then why'd she
run away from me?
1362
01:08:52,313 --> 01:08:53,983
Well...
1363
01:08:54,983 --> 01:08:59,652
Mom's got to go away
for a little bit, and so...
1364
01:08:59,653 --> 01:09:02,826
I'm taking you to your dad
so he can look after you.
1365
01:09:04,826 --> 01:09:06,496
But I don't really like my dad.
1366
01:09:08,496 --> 01:09:10,868
Yeah, I don't like him
much either, buddy.
1367
01:09:14,868 --> 01:09:16,269
- Angel.
- Yes.
1368
01:09:16,270 --> 01:09:17,070
Earplugs, Billy.
1369
01:09:18,038 --> 01:09:19,872
Earplugs.
1370
01:09:19,873 --> 01:09:22,142
What time do you get off?
1371
01:09:22,143 --> 01:09:24,378
- 9:00 o'clock.
- All right.
1372
01:09:24,379 --> 01:09:27,214
- All right.
- All right.
1373
01:09:27,215 --> 01:09:29,784
Check out the rear
bumpers on that one.
1374
01:09:30,784 --> 01:09:34,054
- Mmm. How's your food?
- Good.
1375
01:09:34,055 --> 01:09:36,589
How much butter
you gonna put on that?
1376
01:09:36,590 --> 01:09:38,791
I'm eating this one.
1377
01:09:38,792 --> 01:09:41,827
- You eat it raw?
- Yeah, why not?
1378
01:09:41,828 --> 01:09:43,965
Dear God.
1379
01:09:44,965 --> 01:09:46,799
I think
1380
01:09:46,800 --> 01:09:49,506
all this bacon
is getting to Grandpa.
1381
01:10:02,483 --> 01:10:04,452
Did you...
Did you just toot, Grandpa?
1382
01:10:05,586 --> 01:10:07,653
That was
a church house creeper.
1383
01:10:07,654 --> 01:10:08,857
I think I got one.
1384
01:10:13,293 --> 01:10:15,662
I think you need
to clean out your shorts.
1385
01:10:18,032 --> 01:10:19,700
Beat that.
1386
01:10:19,701 --> 01:10:22,035
Grandpa's tummy's hurting.
1387
01:10:22,036 --> 01:10:23,470
Let it out.
1388
01:10:26,206 --> 01:10:28,310
Try this one on for size.
1389
01:10:37,251 --> 01:10:38,552
- Oh, God.
- Ew, Grandpa,
1390
01:10:38,553 --> 01:10:40,553
you sharted!
1391
01:10:41,322 --> 01:10:42,657
I'm so sorry.
1392
01:10:43,657 --> 01:10:44,726
Oh, my...
1393
01:10:45,726 --> 01:10:47,227
Oh, my God.
1394
01:10:47,228 --> 01:10:48,394
I'm sorry, ladies. Don't...
1395
01:10:48,395 --> 01:10:50,198
Don't look back there.
I'm so sorry.
1396
01:10:52,666 --> 01:10:54,206
Oh, God, that's...
1397
01:10:59,206 --> 01:11:00,407
Let's go, buddy.
1398
01:11:01,407 --> 01:11:02,746
Oh, no.
1399
01:11:05,746 --> 01:11:08,380
That guy stood up
on the chair part
1400
01:11:08,381 --> 01:11:10,084
and pooped on the wall.
1401
01:11:10,085 --> 01:11:11,605
- He what?
- And he pooped on the wall.
1402
01:11:19,527 --> 01:11:22,232
Oh, good shot. Good...
Take it again. Take it again.
1403
01:11:25,232 --> 01:11:26,437
Oh, Jesus.
1404
01:11:29,437 --> 01:11:32,272
All right.
You want some of this?
1405
01:11:32,273 --> 01:11:35,107
Why can't I just stay with
you instead of my dad?
1406
01:11:35,108 --> 01:11:36,710
'Cause that's not the plan.
1407
01:11:36,711 --> 01:11:38,917
We can change the plan.
1408
01:11:46,453 --> 01:11:49,789
How about this?
If I make this shot,
1409
01:11:49,790 --> 01:11:51,391
I get to stay with you
instead of my dad.
1410
01:11:51,992 --> 01:11:53,627
All right.
1411
01:11:54,627 --> 01:11:56,898
Get that out of here!
1412
01:12:01,970 --> 01:12:04,504
How about
we become tuna fishermen
1413
01:12:04,505 --> 01:12:06,139
and then move to Japan?
1414
01:12:06,140 --> 01:12:07,007
Oh, boy.
1415
01:12:09,143 --> 01:12:10,844
We'll get a fish market
1416
01:12:10,845 --> 01:12:14,314
and then we sell all tuna
and we'll be billionaires.
1417
01:12:14,315 --> 01:12:18,250
There is lots of tuna
in Japan, that's for sure!
1418
01:12:18,251 --> 01:12:20,992
That's the best idea
I heard in years, son.
1419
01:12:24,992 --> 01:12:27,827
Do you like to fish, old man?
1420
01:12:27,828 --> 01:12:31,000
I used to like to fish a lot,
but that was before.
1421
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:33,002
Before what?
1422
01:12:36,002 --> 01:12:38,603
Before a dark day when
1423
01:12:38,604 --> 01:12:41,113
I caught my very own Moby Dick.
1424
01:12:47,113 --> 01:12:48,682
Whoa!
1425
01:12:48,683 --> 01:12:50,050
Jesus!
1426
01:12:54,555 --> 01:12:55,523
Whoo!
1427
01:12:56,523 --> 01:12:57,525
Shit!
1428
01:12:58,525 --> 01:13:00,033
Oh, Lordy! Lordy!
1429
01:13:07,033 --> 01:13:08,404
A little help!
1430
01:13:11,404 --> 01:13:12,375
Oh, man!
1431
01:13:14,375 --> 01:13:16,709
Check out the 9 iron
on this one.
1432
01:13:16,710 --> 01:13:17,844
Oh!
1433
01:13:17,845 --> 01:13:19,045
Oh, God.
1434
01:13:19,046 --> 01:13:20,647
Oh, shit.
1435
01:13:20,648 --> 01:13:22,116
What is that? What is that?
1436
01:13:23,550 --> 01:13:26,486
It's a large-nose
carpet croaker!
1437
01:13:26,487 --> 01:13:27,287
Yeah. Okay.
1438
01:13:41,068 --> 01:13:44,706
After that,
I never ate fish sticks again.
1439
01:13:47,407 --> 01:13:48,208
Grandpa, I'm hungry.
1440
01:13:49,010 --> 01:13:52,684
You know what?
I may have a solution.
1441
01:14:00,854 --> 01:14:02,688
Are you sure
this is a good idea?
1442
01:14:02,689 --> 01:14:03,790
Of course it is.
1443
01:14:03,791 --> 01:14:05,392
You can get away
with most anything,
1444
01:14:05,393 --> 01:14:07,427
all you got to do is try.
1445
01:14:07,428 --> 01:14:08,270
Follow my lead.
1446
01:14:17,270 --> 01:14:20,107
Okay, folks, can we get
a picture here with everyone?
1447
01:14:20,108 --> 01:14:23,376
Can everybody back up
on this side a little bit?
1448
01:14:23,377 --> 01:14:25,613
Just kinda take
a couple steps back.
1449
01:14:26,613 --> 01:14:29,652
Keep going,
just a little bit more.
1450
01:14:30,652 --> 01:14:32,786
Look at this.
1451
01:14:32,787 --> 01:14:34,221
This is lovely!
1452
01:14:35,221 --> 01:14:36,793
Wow.
1453
01:14:39,793 --> 01:14:40,893
Look at that.
1454
01:14:40,894 --> 01:14:42,260
- It's pretty, right?
- Yeah.
1455
01:14:42,261 --> 01:14:44,097
Sir, can you
back up out of the way?
1456
01:14:44,098 --> 01:14:45,258
I'm trying to take a picture.
1457
01:14:48,001 --> 01:14:49,001
Oh, oh! Oh!
1458
01:14:55,475 --> 01:14:56,675
Help him!
1459
01:14:56,676 --> 01:14:57,581
Are you okay, Grandpa?
1460
01:15:00,581 --> 01:15:02,486
Ow!
1461
01:15:05,486 --> 01:15:06,286
Oh, my God!
1462
01:15:10,256 --> 01:15:11,056
Who pushed me?
1463
01:15:11,992 --> 01:15:13,392
I don't know.
I think you just fell.
1464
01:15:15,095 --> 01:15:16,845
Mmm.
1465
01:15:30,845 --> 01:15:32,180
Here. Got you some breakfast.
1466
01:15:33,180 --> 01:15:34,049
Sweet!
1467
01:15:35,049 --> 01:15:36,023
All right.
1468
01:15:44,023 --> 01:15:46,192
Hmm. What's today?
1469
01:15:46,193 --> 01:15:47,029
Saturday.
1470
01:15:49,029 --> 01:15:52,130
Bet we could've stirred up
some trouble here.
1471
01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:55,869
Damn shame I got to drop you
at your dad's tomorrow.
1472
01:15:55,870 --> 01:15:58,211
Oh, the hell with it!
Let's go have some fun.
1473
01:16:04,211 --> 01:16:06,646
Would you like to see
a magic trick?
1474
01:16:06,647 --> 01:16:09,415
I need a $20 bill as a prop.
1475
01:16:09,416 --> 01:16:11,384
And I'll give it
right back to you.
1476
01:16:11,385 --> 01:16:15,389
Allakazoo, allakastid...
1477
01:16:15,390 --> 01:16:18,657
Grab the stuff...
Let's beat it, kid!
1478
01:16:18,658 --> 01:16:20,225
Come on! Come on!
1479
01:16:20,226 --> 01:16:22,306
What are you doing? What are
you waiting on? Come on!
1480
01:16:24,230 --> 01:16:25,990
- Grandpa, the car!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
1481
01:16:31,906 --> 01:16:33,876
Have a sip of beer
with Grandpa.
1482
01:16:35,876 --> 01:16:37,011
Whoa.
1483
01:16:39,913 --> 01:16:42,080
'Cause he should not
be drinking.
1484
01:16:42,081 --> 01:16:44,688
Grandpa, I'm fucking wasted.
1485
01:16:47,688 --> 01:16:49,088
Whoops!
1486
01:16:49,089 --> 01:16:50,760
What the hell was that?
1487
01:16:53,760 --> 01:16:55,760
You little cooter stretcher!
1488
01:16:55,930 --> 01:16:57,263
No!
1489
01:16:57,264 --> 01:16:59,536
Wedgie, wedgie!
1490
01:17:06,607 --> 01:17:08,376
What's on your shirt?
1491
01:17:11,778 --> 01:17:13,113
Damn it. Ah...
1492
01:17:14,113 --> 01:17:16,116
Okay, my little wingman,
1493
01:17:16,117 --> 01:17:17,951
why don't you take
the big bed tonight?
1494
01:17:17,952 --> 01:17:19,790
- You deserve it.
- Thank you, Grandpa!
1495
01:17:22,790 --> 01:17:25,758
Settle down, now.
We got to get some sleep.
1496
01:17:25,759 --> 01:17:27,796
We got Raleigh tomorrow.
1497
01:17:28,796 --> 01:17:30,630
Night, Billy.
1498
01:17:30,631 --> 01:17:33,299
Grandpa, can we go
fishing tomorrow?
1499
01:17:33,300 --> 01:17:34,968
Maybe.
1500
01:17:34,969 --> 01:17:36,470
Promise?
1501
01:17:37,470 --> 01:17:39,641
Sure, I promise maybe.
1502
01:17:41,641 --> 01:17:43,412
Oh, I think I hear
a flock of geese!
1503
01:17:46,980 --> 01:17:49,750
Oh, my God,
I think I just shit myself.
1504
01:17:55,488 --> 01:17:56,288
Good night, buddy.
1505
01:18:23,015 --> 01:18:25,620
I don't want to go
to my dad, though.
1506
01:18:26,620 --> 01:18:27,420
Well, I...
1507
01:18:28,354 --> 01:18:30,524
You got to. I can't...
1508
01:18:31,524 --> 01:18:33,526
Keep you.
1509
01:18:33,527 --> 01:18:37,866
I just can't do anything
with you right now.
1510
01:18:38,866 --> 01:18:43,470
But I'm sure your father
will, uh, do the right thing.
1511
01:18:44,470 --> 01:18:47,205
My son's grandfather
is dropping him off.
1512
01:18:47,206 --> 01:18:49,308
I ain't seen the boy
in 3 or 4 years.
1513
01:18:49,309 --> 01:18:50,811
- So, you know... Yeah.
- Really?
1514
01:18:50,812 --> 01:18:52,512
She took him
away from me, okay,
1515
01:18:52,513 --> 01:18:55,314
'cause so she could get, you know,
whatever, 'cause she got mad at me.
1516
01:18:55,315 --> 01:18:57,649
Child support.
Child support'll kill you.
1517
01:18:57,650 --> 01:19:00,487
Guess what? Now I'm getting
the child support.
1518
01:19:01,654 --> 01:19:02,454
You got any speed?
1519
01:19:09,997 --> 01:19:11,731
- Hey, man. How you doing?
- Hey, man.
1520
01:19:11,732 --> 01:19:13,532
- I'm Chuck.
- I'm Patrick.
1521
01:19:13,533 --> 01:19:14,666
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
1522
01:19:14,667 --> 01:19:16,402
Hey, what's that...
1523
01:19:16,403 --> 01:19:18,037
- Oh, fuck, man.
- What's that, man?
1524
01:19:18,038 --> 01:19:20,010
What's up with the "GOC," man?
What's that, man?
1525
01:19:23,010 --> 01:19:24,081
Oh.
1526
01:19:28,081 --> 01:19:30,921
No shit.
Well, what does that mean?
1527
01:19:34,921 --> 01:19:36,592
Organization, huh?
1528
01:19:39,592 --> 01:19:40,537
Come on.
1529
01:19:50,037 --> 01:19:51,439
There's the old prick
right now.
1530
01:19:52,439 --> 01:19:53,641
It's about time.
1531
01:19:54,641 --> 01:19:55,777
You get lost?
1532
01:19:56,777 --> 01:19:58,210
Hey, Chuck.
1533
01:19:58,211 --> 01:19:59,778
Irving.
1534
01:19:59,779 --> 01:20:02,482
Hey, buddy.
How you doing, billy goat?
1535
01:20:02,483 --> 01:20:03,918
You want to give me a hug?
1536
01:20:04,918 --> 01:20:07,120
- Don't be afraid of me.
- Hey.
1537
01:20:07,121 --> 01:20:09,957
I know we had our differences
in the past,
1538
01:20:10,957 --> 01:20:13,393
but I'm gonna ask you right now
1539
01:20:13,394 --> 01:20:15,061
to please take care
of this boy.
1540
01:20:15,062 --> 01:20:16,130
He's all I have left.
1541
01:20:17,130 --> 01:20:18,964
Don't come at me...
Don't come at me
1542
01:20:18,965 --> 01:20:20,165
like I'm some kind of asshole.
1543
01:20:20,166 --> 01:20:21,600
Of course I'm gonna take care
of the little shit.
1544
01:20:21,601 --> 01:20:23,402
- He's my kid.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
1545
01:20:23,403 --> 01:20:25,972
Just take it down, all right?
1546
01:20:25,973 --> 01:20:29,978
Just surprise me and don't be
a schmuck this time, okay?
1547
01:20:30,978 --> 01:20:32,711
We're all good.
1548
01:20:32,712 --> 01:20:34,315
Come here. Come here, buddy.
1549
01:20:36,315 --> 01:20:38,987
You be a good boy, okay?
All right?
1550
01:20:39,987 --> 01:20:43,656
I'm going to be checking in
on you a lot.
1551
01:20:43,657 --> 01:20:46,358
And I'm gonna
get word to your mom
1552
01:20:46,359 --> 01:20:47,996
that you're with
your father now.
1553
01:20:48,996 --> 01:20:52,331
And I'm gonna tell her
all the fun we had,
1554
01:20:52,332 --> 01:20:54,502
and all the cool things
you showed me.
1555
01:20:55,502 --> 01:20:57,005
Grandpa loves you very much.
1556
01:20:58,005 --> 01:20:59,143
Love you, too.
1557
01:21:02,143 --> 01:21:03,608
Good-bye, son.
1558
01:21:03,609 --> 01:21:05,617
Bye, old man.
1559
01:21:10,617 --> 01:21:12,518
Come on, Billy.
1560
01:21:12,519 --> 01:21:14,353
That's enough
of that horseshit.
1561
01:21:14,354 --> 01:21:15,487
Hop up here. There you go.
1562
01:21:15,488 --> 01:21:16,523
Get up here, little man.
1563
01:21:17,023 --> 01:21:18,461
Excuse me.
1564
01:21:20,461 --> 01:21:21,628
Just sit up here.
1565
01:21:21,629 --> 01:21:24,312
Here, take this bag off.
You don't need this.
1566
01:21:38,312 --> 01:21:39,349
Yes, sir.
1567
01:21:43,149 --> 01:21:44,822
That's good.
1568
01:21:48,822 --> 01:21:50,723
Thank you very much. I, uh...
1569
01:21:50,724 --> 01:21:51,823
I'm his grandfather
1570
01:21:51,824 --> 01:21:53,625
and unfortunately I have to
hand him back now.
1571
01:21:57,631 --> 01:21:59,969
I don't trust him.
1572
01:22:01,969 --> 01:22:04,570
Until his mom gets out of jail.
1573
01:22:04,571 --> 01:22:06,641
I'm sorry, sir,
I can't talk about it.
1574
01:22:08,641 --> 01:22:09,786
Please watch him!
1575
01:22:30,497 --> 01:22:31,434
Billy.
1576
01:22:33,434 --> 01:22:34,603
Hi, Rick.
1577
01:22:35,603 --> 01:22:37,402
Dad, can we get some food?
1578
01:22:37,403 --> 01:22:39,443
I'll tell you what,
you can have a water.
1579
01:22:43,443 --> 01:22:45,179
Please, Dad, I'm hungry.
1580
01:22:46,179 --> 01:22:47,619
You don't need
to eat that. You're...
1581
01:22:49,015 --> 01:22:50,018
No, don't give him that.
1582
01:22:51,018 --> 01:22:53,955
I mean, he needs to lose
some weight. I mean, honestly.
1583
01:22:54,955 --> 01:22:55,755
Thank you.
1584
01:22:59,693 --> 01:23:00,860
Will you watch
the little fat boy?
1585
01:23:00,861 --> 01:23:02,667
I gotta go take a piss.
1586
01:24:06,260 --> 01:24:07,692
When someone disrespects me,
1587
01:24:07,693 --> 01:24:10,630
I wanna be able to go,
like, "DT, take him out."
1588
01:24:10,631 --> 01:24:11,731
Yeah, no. We're not that.
1589
01:24:11,732 --> 01:24:14,265
"DT, see that..."
1590
01:24:14,266 --> 01:24:16,167
Look at that that guy
eyeballing me over there?
1591
01:24:16,168 --> 01:24:19,071
Listen, if I start
some shit right now,
1592
01:24:19,072 --> 01:24:20,406
will you guys back me up?
1593
01:24:20,407 --> 01:24:22,407
'Cause this guy's been
eyeballing me all...
1594
01:24:22,408 --> 01:24:23,776
No, no, you're on your own.
1595
01:24:23,777 --> 01:24:24,977
We're here having a party.
1596
01:24:24,978 --> 01:24:26,845
That's all we are.
1597
01:24:26,846 --> 01:24:28,714
Yeah, damn.
1598
01:24:28,715 --> 01:24:30,453
That's what we're about, so...
1599
01:24:34,453 --> 01:24:35,256
Billy.
1600
01:24:36,256 --> 01:24:37,759
Let's go fishing.
1601
01:24:38,759 --> 01:24:40,260
Let's go fishing, buddy.
1602
01:24:41,260 --> 01:24:42,661
What are you doing back here?
1603
01:24:42,662 --> 01:24:44,263
- He's going with me.
- Can we?
1604
01:24:44,264 --> 01:24:45,365
Yeah, you're coming with me.
1605
01:24:45,366 --> 01:24:46,497
Yeah, I don't want you
with him,
1606
01:24:46,498 --> 01:24:47,700
- all right?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa...
1607
01:24:47,701 --> 01:24:49,434
No, no.
Don't put your hands on him.
1608
01:24:49,435 --> 01:24:51,970
That's my son. I can put
my hand on him if I want to.
1609
01:24:51,971 --> 01:24:53,505
No, don't touch him.
You are his...
1610
01:24:53,506 --> 01:24:54,807
- You are a son of a bitch.
- I am his family.
1611
01:24:54,808 --> 01:24:55,941
You've been no father.
1612
01:24:55,942 --> 01:24:57,509
- Oh, yeah? Really?
- Yeah.
1613
01:24:57,510 --> 01:24:58,945
Come on, Billy. Let's go.
1614
01:24:58,946 --> 01:25:00,278
Just stay right there!
Don't listen...
1615
01:25:00,279 --> 01:25:02,180
Hey, he's staying right here.
1616
01:25:02,181 --> 01:25:04,116
- Come here, buddy.
- No, no, no. He's staying here.
1617
01:25:04,117 --> 01:25:05,350
- Back off!
- You back off!
1618
01:25:05,351 --> 01:25:08,153
He's not going with you.
He's coming with me.
1619
01:25:08,154 --> 01:25:10,188
- Do you understand?
- No, no, no.
1620
01:25:10,189 --> 01:25:11,957
- He's coming with...
- This is my meal ticket.
1621
01:25:11,958 --> 01:25:13,660
You're not fit to have him.
1622
01:25:13,661 --> 01:25:14,794
I'm not fit?
1623
01:25:14,795 --> 01:25:16,161
- Yeah, you're not fit...
- I'm not fit?
1624
01:25:16,162 --> 01:25:17,429
I'll fucking kick your ass!
1625
01:25:17,430 --> 01:25:19,190
- Get out of my face!
- All right, all right!
1626
01:25:21,033 --> 01:25:22,300
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1627
01:25:22,301 --> 01:25:24,068
- I'll kill you!
- Easy. Easy.
1628
01:25:24,069 --> 01:25:26,039
Settle the hell down, man!
1629
01:25:26,040 --> 01:25:27,371
You ain't going
nowhere, buddy. Stop it.
1630
01:25:27,372 --> 01:25:29,541
You better let go of me, boy.
1631
01:25:29,542 --> 01:25:31,811
Let me get his bag. Where's my
grandson's backpack? Take your grandson.
1632
01:25:31,812 --> 01:25:33,713
Okay. He's okay.
1633
01:25:33,714 --> 01:25:35,380
I can't hack it with him!
1634
01:25:35,381 --> 01:25:38,084
There goes my 600 bucks!
1635
01:25:38,085 --> 01:25:39,417
What are you
talking about, man?
1636
01:25:39,418 --> 01:25:42,220
That kid is my 600 bucks
a month!
1637
01:25:42,221 --> 01:25:43,021
Come back here!
1638
01:25:45,992 --> 01:25:47,696
He's a hell of a lot
more than money.
1639
01:25:48,696 --> 01:25:50,530
- He's fixing to get hurt out there.
- I hear you, man.
1640
01:25:50,531 --> 01:25:51,852
You'll freaking get hurt,
brother.
1641
01:25:53,500 --> 01:25:54,866
Unless you die your damn self
1642
01:25:54,867 --> 01:25:55,907
then you better chill out.
1643
01:25:56,002 --> 01:25:57,139
All right, now, all right!
1644
01:25:59,139 --> 01:26:00,639
You got me, all right?
1645
01:26:00,640 --> 01:26:02,400
- That boy ain't no 600 dollars.
- I forfeit.
1646
01:26:03,175 --> 01:26:04,843
I forfeit.
1647
01:26:04,844 --> 01:26:06,111
You understand me?
1648
01:26:06,112 --> 01:26:08,947
I give up. I surrender.
1649
01:26:08,948 --> 01:26:12,684
Fine. Fine.
You wanna guard that kid?
1650
01:26:12,685 --> 01:26:14,320
You guard him.
1651
01:26:14,321 --> 01:26:15,122
He's got a guardian.
1652
01:26:15,988 --> 01:26:17,589
Go ahead and take off.
We'll keep him inside.
1653
01:26:17,590 --> 01:26:18,924
Thank you so much.
1654
01:26:18,925 --> 01:26:21,661
Bye, baby!
Have fun, okay?
1655
01:26:21,662 --> 01:26:22,894
You okay?
1656
01:26:22,895 --> 01:26:24,864
Yeah. You?
1657
01:26:25,864 --> 01:26:26,664
I'm okay.
1658
01:26:29,269 --> 01:26:30,836
Oh!
1659
01:26:30,837 --> 01:26:31,637
Oh, no.
1660
01:26:33,439 --> 01:26:35,174
Oh, shit!
1661
01:26:35,175 --> 01:26:37,849
Sorry about the bikes!
1662
01:26:43,849 --> 01:26:46,117
Did you really think
I was going to leave you?
1663
01:26:46,118 --> 01:26:47,186
Kind of.
1664
01:26:47,187 --> 01:26:48,357
No way!
1665
01:26:50,357 --> 01:26:52,825
Well, what do you
want to do now?
1666
01:26:52,826 --> 01:26:54,359
I got an idea.
1667
01:27:00,199 --> 01:27:01,299
Hey, guys.
1668
01:27:01,300 --> 01:27:02,401
- Good evening.
- Hi.
1669
01:27:02,402 --> 01:27:04,172
- How are you?
- Good.
1670
01:27:07,172 --> 01:27:09,174
- All right...
- Wait.
1671
01:27:09,175 --> 01:27:11,311
Now, when we walk in that room,
1672
01:27:11,312 --> 01:27:14,213
your name is Lindsey Dill.
Okay?
1673
01:27:14,214 --> 01:27:15,414
You're a pretty little girl,
1674
01:27:15,415 --> 01:27:18,718
so no farting and no swearing,
you got it?
1675
01:27:18,719 --> 01:27:21,053
Let's go win us some money.
1676
01:27:21,054 --> 01:27:22,060
All right. Come on.
1677
01:27:27,060 --> 01:27:29,495
Hi. Is it okay
if I interview you guys?
1678
01:27:29,496 --> 01:27:31,095
Doing a behind-the-scenes
video for the pageant.
1679
01:27:31,096 --> 01:27:32,067
Sure.
1680
01:27:33,067 --> 01:27:35,099
Who are you?
1681
01:27:35,100 --> 01:27:36,235
Hi. My name's Jill.
1682
01:27:36,236 --> 01:27:37,503
Can I ask you some questions
for our camera?
1683
01:27:37,504 --> 01:27:38,638
Yes.
1684
01:27:38,639 --> 01:27:39,838
Say, "Yes, ma'am"
but don't baby-talk.
1685
01:27:39,839 --> 01:27:41,573
So, how many pageants
have you been in?
1686
01:27:41,574 --> 01:27:44,509
I've probably been
in a thousand pageants.
1687
01:27:44,510 --> 01:27:46,746
And how many of them
did you win?
1688
01:27:46,747 --> 01:27:49,915
I won every single one!
1689
01:27:49,916 --> 01:27:52,084
- What?
- Every single one!
1690
01:27:52,085 --> 01:27:53,384
I'm supposed to talk.
1691
01:27:53,385 --> 01:27:55,086
It's competitive, it's a sport.
1692
01:27:55,087 --> 01:27:56,688
- And my friends...
- And so moms get...
1693
01:27:56,689 --> 01:27:58,191
You know,
they get into this competition
1694
01:27:58,192 --> 01:27:59,357
and if you're going to do it
and do it right...
1695
01:27:59,358 --> 01:28:00,459
What are you doing?
1696
01:28:00,460 --> 01:28:03,195
Stop, now. If you're going
to do it and do it right...
1697
01:28:03,196 --> 01:28:05,296
I mean, you've got to be
willing to be competitive.
1698
01:28:05,297 --> 01:28:06,799
And that's what happens,
you know?
1699
01:28:06,800 --> 01:28:09,134
Sometimes I think competition,
just like any other sport,
1700
01:28:09,135 --> 01:28:11,070
gets the best of everybody.
1701
01:28:11,071 --> 01:28:12,737
Well, thank you so much
for being here tonight
1702
01:28:12,738 --> 01:28:15,540
at the Carolina Cutie Pies
Young Miss Pageant.
1703
01:28:15,541 --> 01:28:18,044
And because this is such
a special night,
1704
01:28:18,045 --> 01:28:20,045
we have a special surprise
for you.
1705
01:28:20,046 --> 01:28:22,115
Tonight, for the winner,
1706
01:28:22,116 --> 01:28:26,218
we're going to
give away $5,000!
1707
01:28:26,219 --> 01:28:27,487
Whoo!
1708
01:28:29,122 --> 01:28:30,125
$5,000!
1709
01:28:32,125 --> 01:28:33,465
That's crazy!
1710
01:28:38,465 --> 01:28:43,803
But now, we want to get into
our beauty gown competition.
1711
01:28:43,804 --> 01:28:47,339
- Are you excited?
- I know. I love it!
1712
01:28:47,340 --> 01:28:49,407
This is so funny!
1713
01:28:49,408 --> 01:28:51,368
Contestant number one,
please come to the stage.
1714
01:28:54,314 --> 01:28:56,349
Looking very beautiful tonight.
1715
01:29:14,201 --> 01:29:15,768
This is contestant number 10,
1716
01:29:15,769 --> 01:29:17,835
Lindsey Dill!
1717
01:29:17,836 --> 01:29:21,676
Lindsey has blazing
blonde hair and hazel eyes.
1718
01:29:23,676 --> 01:29:26,045
Her hobbies
are football, fishing
1719
01:29:26,046 --> 01:29:27,680
and playing
with her sock monkey!
1720
01:29:28,680 --> 01:29:30,952
That must be
your proud grandpa.
1721
01:29:38,826 --> 01:29:41,326
Ladies and gentlemen,
contestant number 10,
1722
01:29:41,327 --> 01:29:42,966
Lindsey Dill.
1723
01:29:46,966 --> 01:29:48,803
That's my granddaughter.
1724
01:29:57,678 --> 01:29:59,755
Hi-ya!
1725
01:30:08,755 --> 01:30:09,788
Let's give her a hand!
1726
01:30:12,492 --> 01:30:13,558
Your daughter's so precious.
1727
01:30:13,559 --> 01:30:16,795
She's so precious...
She did really good.
1728
01:30:16,796 --> 01:30:18,796
I don't know if it'll be
good enough for first place,
1729
01:30:18,797 --> 01:30:20,633
but she did really good.
1730
01:30:20,634 --> 01:30:23,804
...Good Time by
Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen.
1731
01:30:24,804 --> 01:30:26,804
So, how do you think the
competition's going so far?
1732
01:30:26,805 --> 01:30:27,872
Good.
1733
01:30:27,873 --> 01:30:30,549
Do you think you have
any stiff competition?
1734
01:30:35,549 --> 01:30:36,848
Is that weird?
1735
01:30:36,849 --> 01:30:39,218
We've just never seen it,
so it's different.
1736
01:30:39,219 --> 01:30:42,054
And this is
contestant number 10.
1737
01:30:42,055 --> 01:30:44,323
Everyone, Lindsey Dill!
1738
01:30:51,564 --> 01:30:55,901
My Bonnie lies over the ocean
1739
01:30:55,902 --> 01:30:59,407
My Bonnie lies over the sea
1740
01:31:00,407 --> 01:31:04,742
Aw...
My Bonnie lies over the ocean
1741
01:31:04,743 --> 01:31:08,349
Please bring back
my Bonnie to me
1742
01:32:18,317 --> 01:32:19,488
Come on.
1743
01:32:22,488 --> 01:32:24,790
Shit. Come on!
1744
01:32:24,791 --> 01:32:26,091
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's hear it
1745
01:32:26,092 --> 01:32:27,108
for Lindsey Dill.
1746
01:32:42,108 --> 01:32:44,442
Grandpa, what'd you
think of my dancing?
1747
01:32:44,443 --> 01:32:47,213
Ha!
I loved your dancing.
1748
01:32:47,214 --> 01:32:49,580
You were Ginger Rogers
and Fred Astaire
1749
01:32:49,581 --> 01:32:51,884
all rolled into one.
1750
01:32:51,885 --> 01:32:53,452
Gimme five.
1751
01:32:55,788 --> 01:32:58,790
Grandpa,
school starts on Tuesday.
1752
01:32:58,791 --> 01:33:00,326
Tuesday?
1753
01:33:00,327 --> 01:33:03,461
Hell, that's when
the ponies start running.
1754
01:33:03,462 --> 01:33:06,665
What do you say
I get you to school on Friday?
1755
01:33:06,666 --> 01:33:07,934
All right!
1756
01:33:21,982 --> 01:33:22,819
All right.
1757
01:33:27,819 --> 01:33:29,921
Does this look
like a good spot?
1758
01:33:29,922 --> 01:33:32,264
This looks like
as good a spot as any.
1759
01:33:38,264 --> 01:33:39,934
Here we go!
1760
01:33:42,668 --> 01:33:44,171
Oh, my goodness!
1761
01:33:45,171 --> 01:33:46,105
Oh, thanks, buddy.
1762
01:33:47,105 --> 01:33:48,510
Oh!
1763
01:33:53,779 --> 01:33:55,514
You sure we should do this?
1764
01:33:55,515 --> 01:33:57,518
This is what she wanted.
1765
01:33:58,518 --> 01:34:01,519
You got any final words
for your grandma?
1766
01:34:01,520 --> 01:34:02,523
Yeah.
1767
01:34:03,523 --> 01:34:05,857
Bye, Grandma.
1768
01:34:05,858 --> 01:34:07,559
Bye, Ellie.
1769
01:34:12,064 --> 01:34:13,034
Whoo!
1770
01:34:19,037 --> 01:34:20,505
Let's start fishing.
1771
01:34:20,506 --> 01:34:22,307
Let's fish.
1772
01:34:22,308 --> 01:34:24,041
I call black one!
1773
01:34:24,042 --> 01:34:26,812
You got the black one?
Okay, I got the red one.
1774
01:34:26,813 --> 01:34:27,881
Whoa.
1775
01:34:28,881 --> 01:34:30,715
Grandpa,
I got to pee-pee.
1776
01:34:30,716 --> 01:34:32,384
You got to pee-pee?
1777
01:34:32,385 --> 01:34:34,719
Well, dangle that little thing
through the railing
1778
01:34:34,720 --> 01:34:36,153
and let her rip.
1779
01:34:36,154 --> 01:34:39,425
But point it that way out of
respect for your grandmother.
1780
01:35:04,283 --> 01:35:06,885
Man, get the fuck away from me.
1781
01:35:06,886 --> 01:35:08,120
What did I do?
1782
01:35:08,121 --> 01:35:10,054
Can I get a hug? Dad?
1783
01:35:10,055 --> 01:35:12,324
That wouldn't be appropriate,
big guy.
1784
01:35:15,295 --> 01:35:17,027
He says you have
a fat kitty cat.
1785
01:35:17,028 --> 01:35:18,162
Okay.
1786
01:35:18,163 --> 01:35:19,397
Hmm?
1787
01:35:19,398 --> 01:35:20,965
- Jiggle my shoulders!
- I tried to do it!
1788
01:35:20,966 --> 01:35:23,902
Jiggle my... Ow!
Jiggle! Jiggle!
1789
01:35:23,903 --> 01:35:25,135
What does he look like?
1790
01:35:25,136 --> 01:35:26,972
He's got a moustache,
1791
01:35:26,973 --> 01:35:31,411
big head, tall, um,
and he smells like old farts.
1792
01:35:32,979 --> 01:35:34,646
Listen, old man.
I ain't fucking young.
1793
01:35:34,647 --> 01:35:38,084
I'm 45 years old. I'll fucking
tune you up. All right?
1794
01:35:38,085 --> 01:35:40,317
Mmm-hmm. Yep.
1795
01:35:40,318 --> 01:35:42,655
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Listen up, listen up!
1796
01:35:42,656 --> 01:35:44,923
The gentleman you just saw in
here was Mr. Johnny Knoxville
1797
01:35:44,924 --> 01:35:47,193
and we are shooting a movie.
1798
01:35:52,831 --> 01:35:53,999
Thank you, everyone,
1799
01:35:54,000 --> 01:35:55,933
for putting up with me tonight,
1800
01:35:55,934 --> 01:35:57,669
and thank you
for not beating me up.
1801
01:35:57,670 --> 01:35:59,170
- High 5!
- High 5!
1802
01:35:59,171 --> 01:36:01,272
Why were you wearing a bra?
1803
01:36:01,273 --> 01:36:02,674
"Why were you
wearing a bra?"
1804
01:36:02,675 --> 01:36:04,611
For my dance.
1805
01:36:05,611 --> 01:36:07,778
Well, that was inappropriate!
1806
01:36:07,779 --> 01:36:09,779
Doris, what did you think?
1807
01:36:09,849 --> 01:36:12,283
My mother's
not gonna like this!
1808
01:36:13,519 --> 01:36:14,920
We're shooting a movie.
1809
01:36:14,921 --> 01:36:16,521
No way!
1810
01:36:16,522 --> 01:36:17,889
You've got to be kidding me!
1811
01:36:17,890 --> 01:36:19,357
Oh, my God!
1812
01:36:19,358 --> 01:36:22,695
I just did all of that and...
Oh, my God!
1813
01:36:22,696 --> 01:36:25,630
And a rusty trombone
for my grandpa.
1814
01:36:25,631 --> 01:36:27,531
A rusty trombone
for your grandpa, huh?
1815
01:36:27,532 --> 01:36:28,634
Yep.
1816
01:36:28,635 --> 01:36:29,867
Well, I need
to take your picture
1817
01:36:29,868 --> 01:36:32,704
to see if you're on
a milk carton somewhere.
1818
01:36:32,705 --> 01:36:34,807
What do you think?
1819
01:36:34,808 --> 01:36:36,040
Don't hurt me!
1820
01:36:36,041 --> 01:36:38,143
Hurt you? I'm 86 years old.
1821
01:36:38,144 --> 01:36:39,979
Don't hurt me!
1822
01:36:40,979 --> 01:36:42,979
Oh...
1823
01:36:44,550 --> 01:36:46,720
Billy! Billy!
1824
01:36:51,491 --> 01:36:52,925
Ow!
1825
01:36:56,895 --> 01:36:58,729
What is a whore?
1826
01:36:58,730 --> 01:37:00,068
Oh, boy. Uh...
1827
01:37:02,068 --> 01:37:04,571
Oh, boy, that's a tough one.
1828
01:37:05,571 --> 01:37:07,180
All right, here we go.
1829
01:37:17,750 --> 01:37:20,086
Poof! I'm an old prick now.
1830
01:37:21,086 --> 01:37:23,224
Oh, yeah? Get a load of this!
1831
01:37:29,429 --> 01:37:34,265
My mommy loves crack almost
as much as I love fishing.
1832
01:37:34,266 --> 01:37:36,543
I'm sorry,
what did you just say?
1833
01:37:44,543 --> 01:37:45,943
Can I help you?
1834
01:37:45,944 --> 01:37:48,447
Talk more like an old man.
1835
01:37:48,448 --> 01:37:49,547
- Me?
- Yes.
1836
01:37:52,284 --> 01:37:54,955
Yeah, he sounds like
Johnny Knoxville.
1837
01:37:57,623 --> 01:38:01,594
I hate this job.
I fucking hate you!
1838
01:38:02,795 --> 01:38:05,296
This is a camera,
1839
01:38:05,297 --> 01:38:06,898
in there.
1840
01:38:06,899 --> 01:38:08,466
That's a camera.
1841
01:38:08,467 --> 01:38:10,773
I think there's a camera here
somewhere.
1842
01:38:16,009 --> 01:38:17,108
Talk to that.
1843
01:38:17,109 --> 01:38:18,844
Okay, and when...
Hi, how are you?
1844
01:38:18,845 --> 01:38:21,983
Oh, look at me!
I look beautiful!
1845
01:38:23,983 --> 01:38:25,751
That's one ugly bitch.
1846
01:38:27,019 --> 01:38:28,686
It's interesting. Every time
I work with these guys,
1847
01:38:28,687 --> 01:38:30,327
I'm either in a casket
or around a casket.
1848
01:38:43,101 --> 01:38:44,339
I like standing here.
1849
01:38:46,339 --> 01:38:48,339
And I like standing here.
1850
01:38:48,340 --> 01:38:51,343
But my favorite spot is here.
1851
01:38:51,344 --> 01:38:52,777
- Come on.
- Get away.
1852
01:38:52,778 --> 01:38:55,447
I may be too old
to stir the gumbo,
1853
01:38:55,448 --> 01:38:57,849
but I can still lick
the ladle, that's for sure.
1854
01:38:59,018 --> 01:39:00,384
In my opinion, ladle-licking
1855
01:39:00,385 --> 01:39:02,853
is more important
than gumbo-stirring anyway.
1856
01:39:02,854 --> 01:39:05,290
Oh, I can lick my eyebrows.
1857
01:39:05,291 --> 01:39:06,893
Get out!
1858
01:39:07,893 --> 01:39:09,062
Fuck.
1859
01:39:13,131 --> 01:39:15,536
Oh, my God!
1860
01:39:31,384 --> 01:39:32,551
Are you all right?
1861
01:39:38,558 --> 01:39:40,265
- Okay.
- Oh, man.
1862
01:39:46,265 --> 01:39:47,765
Whoa.
1863
01:39:53,238 --> 01:39:54,774
Big finish.
1864
01:40:02,081 --> 01:40:03,682
What's going on here?
1865
01:40:03,683 --> 01:40:05,250
Get out of here, asshole.
1866
01:40:05,251 --> 01:40:08,188
We have to bring in
your stunt double.
1867
01:40:14,760 --> 01:40:16,695
- Thank you.
- You gotta be shittin' me, man!
1868
01:40:16,696 --> 01:40:19,264
I'm sitting there looking, I'm
like, "What is up with this?"
1869
01:40:19,265 --> 01:40:20,432
Are you serious?
1870
01:40:20,433 --> 01:40:22,366
You guys are
so sweet to look after Billy.
1871
01:40:22,367 --> 01:40:23,770
- Oh, my God!
- How are you?
1872
01:40:25,770 --> 01:40:26,809
Ugh!
1873
01:40:31,943 --> 01:40:33,278
Oh, I'm sorry, Kelman.
1874
01:40:41,453 --> 01:40:45,125
My Bonnie lies over the ocean
1875
01:40:46,125 --> 01:40:50,296
My Bonnie lies over the sea
1876
01:40:51,296 --> 01:40:55,633
My Bonnie lies over the ocean
1877
01:40:55,634 --> 01:40:59,139
So bring back
my Bonnie to me