[Dr. Mahinder Watsa] Let's see what this one says.
[reading]
Two condoms are more unsafe than one.
They tend to break with the friction.
So one condom used properly is safer.
They have a column, like, Ask the Sex Expert.
The page number just bounced into my head.
I think it's somewhere between 32 or 34.
Sex Expert, page 34, right?
Yeah, everyone knows about it.
[Dr. Watsa] I'm a 28-year-old man.
I've never indulged in sex and I am a virgin.
While bathing I pull down my foreskin and wash the area
with Dettol and soap water daily.
Well done, you're looking after your hygiene.
Presumably, you also do the same with the ears.
Why not try masturbation when you're sexually aroused?
It is harmless and will give you some idea
when you start sexual intercourse.
[woman] What do you guys know about this doctor who writes the column?
Do you know anything about him?
He's a gynecologist who writes that column.
Mahinder Watsa. That's it.
-He could be 30, 40. -I believe he's 40 plus.
40 plus. Tall. With mustache and everything.
Wears specs.
Beautiful wife.
Keeps her happy.
[all laughing]
I can't see properly, you know.
I'm a 35 year old man.
I'm a chain-smoker and don't get a good erection.
My wife prefers to insert a ripe banana in her vagina
instead of my penis.
She says I cannot satisfy her. I am depressed.
She does not like your bad breath.
Stop smoking.
The nicotine may have also affected your erection.
Be more caring and learn the art of foreplay.
She may then prefer you to the banana every time.
Arey,Sanjay.
-[in English] Morning. How are you? -[man] Fine.
[man in English] One of my partners.
[Dr. Watsa] What is the meaning of old and young? Everybody has got the same.
[in English] I got this compliment from someone else.
[Dr. Watsa] You got compliments?
[in English] Have you had any intercourse also?
[Dr. Watsa in English] Okay, let's have a look at you and see.
I don't see anything old about it.
Looks very good and smart.
You don't need to have an erection pointing upwards.
Or downwards.
Even diameter, you will see.
[man in English] According to her it's too thin.
[in English] Everything is good.
-[woman on phone] Hello? -Hello, yes?
Hi, Dr. Watsa, it's Erica from Radio 1.
-Yes, good evening. -[Erica] Good evening.
So are you ready for this? We'll ask you a couple of questions.
-Okay. Right. -Okay?
-Are you ready? Let's go. -Let's go.
[Erica] Welcome to Drive Mumbai,
and there's no other way to say this
but let's talk about sex, Dr. Watsa.
Okay.
Let's do that.
[Erica] What is it like to be known
as India's foremost sexologist?
-Oh, very embarrassing, no doubt. -[Erica laughs]
Anyway, I'm quite happy that after 40 years of work,
somebody has said good things about me and I like that.
[Erica] You know, talking about sex education in schools,
how important is it for us to get the facts right?
And should we start early about age-appropriate explanations
about the birds and the bees?
[Dr. Watsa] You got me on the wrong foot over there.
For example, in Maharashtra, Karnataka,
and many others, sex education is banned in schools.
[Erica] That is shocking. [Dr. Watsa] Yeah, and so, therefore,
I don't know where they get their education from really.
Because parents are not very good at that.
Teachers are not highly skilled in doing that.
So I think they're left on their own which is a pity.
-[Erica] Thank you so much for joining us, Dr. Watsa. -Thank you.
Whether we wish to admit it or not,
we could all do with advice on sex.
So when in doubt, please ask the sexpert Dr. Watsa.
[Meenal Baghel] When we were designing the paper,
I said, you know, I want a daily sex column.
And one of my colleagues suggested Dr. Watsa.
One of the things that went in his favor was his age,
the fact that he'd been a gynecologist earlier.
For nine years, he's been doing this
seven days a week,
month after month, year on year.
I can't see well, is it 37 or 27 mail?
17 mail.
Dr. Watsa's column turned out to be a big hook,
but it was only partly designed as a hook.
Partly, I really wanted us in the paper to discuss issues of sexuality.
[woman] Have you ever read the column called Ask The Sexpert?
No, I've not read it. I know from some people.
-[woman] What do you know about it? -I don't know.
[laughing]
You remember you were discussing with me about that?
It's a very interesting column you were saying.
My family is demanding that I get married.
How can I ascertain if the girl is a virgin?
Most of the questioners are male,
but he will always stress on the woman's rights.
I suggest you don't get married.
Unless you appoint detectives, there's no way to find out.
Spare any poor woman of your suspicious mind.
And the things that make sex so wonderful
like where there is equality between two partners.
[woman] We have Dr. Pratiba Naitthani,
a social activist and a professor of political science
in St. Xavier's College, Mumbai.
She has been a part of many campaigns
relating to censorship issues in our country.
[Pratiba Naitthani] I'll begin with an example of a condom ad
where you have three young boys and there are five model-like girls
in modern clothes, making suggestive gestures.
And then, these boys start moving towards those girls
and then the condom ad says...
and use a condom.
[in English] Now, as a woman, I find this ad highly objectionable.
Don't tell me that you're going to now moralize to them
as to not have sex.
Mr. Kathar, first of all, why are we so allergic to morality?
I am proud of this morality and I will talk about this morality.
You might not like it, you are entitled to your opinion.
India is a free country. Yeah...
I always used to be the monitor of the class.
The best person is always the monitor.
And I remember I used to chase the boys with a ruler in my hand.
I used to beat them up.
And even now, when we meet for school reunions,
they introduce me to their wives that,
"This was the girl who beat me up the most."
-[woman] You were amazing in your speech. -Thank you.
I mean people think I'm mad, but I keep taking up every possible issue
which is connected with women and children,
related to media and child rights.
InMumbai Mirror, they have a column called Ask The Sexpert.
That one column is something which I think is disastrous.
For example, the doctor says, "Do it, as long as you're enjoying it.
"As long as you are using condoms."
And then, how to prevent pregnancies and all.
What are we doing? Are we promoting sex?
A girl saying that, "I use the mascara tube
"I don't have a dildo,
"so I insert the mascara tube in my vagina, and is it okay?"
And he says, "As long as it's clean, you have to look at the hygiene."
What are you teaching people?
Is it safe to use colored condoms for penetrative sex?
Colored condoms are safe, used for oral sex or intercourse.
Spend more money and you can keep a different color for a different day.
Daily, I get 60-65 questions.
I don't know the name, I don't know who's written about it, and all that.
Any kind of acidic substance can prevent pregnancy.
Can I pour some drops of lemon or orange juice in my girlfriend's vagina
after the intercourse? Will it harm her?
He said that acidic things are also like family planning.
So, for family planning, if I squeeze a lemon on the vagina
then is it okay or not?
So the reply is are you a lemonade vendor?
Where did you get this weird idea from?
There are many other safe and easy methods of birth control.
Consider using a condom.
They come up with a lot of weird questions.
If you told the word "sex" to her,
her whole body used to tremble, or something like that.
What's happening? Like, all this was quite alien to me.
And then it was like, "Okay."
[Dr. Watsa] Now, after ten years or something,
she corrects me on some of the terminologies
and, you know, like,
"Why don't you put it this way, and not that way."
Initially, if anyone would speak about sex and all that,
you were like, "Okay..."
And now, it's...
"What's so great about it?"
Yeah, the attitude changes.
[Dr. Watsa] Nowadays, she gets the better of me.
[crows cawing]
[in English] Hello, I'm Dr. Watsa, here. Who's speaking?
Hi, is it Hemlata? Yeah.
I'm very well. And how are you doing?
Good, good.
So, I was wondering how is that case getting on?
Is it still going on?
Good God. What's happened to it?
Ask them to hurry up because I'm already 91.
[chuckles]
They've filed a case against theBombay Mirror
and me, of obscenity.
I was a bit worried about it, I mean, not expecting that to happen.
So long as you don't put me in jail, it's okay.
[laughs]
It can lead to imprisonment if they prove it.
Now, how they will prove it, one doesn't know.
Let's see.
[Pratiba] I have filed cases against this column.
I know that I am standing by the law
and I want something which is definitely needed
to protect our younger generation.
It's not a filthy, sex-rated
content publication which people will not buy.
This is a newspaper we're talking about.
Well, I think Dr. Watsa and I have done rounds
of all the metropolitan courts in Mumbai.
I think these cases are really frivolous
and filed by attention-seeking people.
I think, as a newspaper group, we will fight these cases.
Because obscenity, like beauty, lies in the eyes of the beholder.
[doorbell rings]
[in English] What do you want?
Doctor, I want to meet with you.
[in English] If you don't mind, sir.
[in English] I'll have to see whether I can see you.
Okay, sir, thank you, sir.
For me? Thank you very much, sir.
-Welcome. Sit down, please. -Thank you very much.
She said he's 90 years old, he's very nice.
[in English] Very good.
[in English] So that means you are normal. Okay? You are normal.
[man] Thank you very much. [Dr. Watsa] Welcome.
All the best to you. Good luck.
You'll be all right.
Tell me if there's nothing wrong
if it's wrong, come back.
[man] Okay, sir. Okay, sir.
[laughs]
That's why saris are so sexy
because there is a possibility at every fold.
There's something very non-threatening
about an older person talking about sex.
And I think that's what Dr. Mahinder Watsa
has going for him.
The way he spoke
made it possible for
me to be able to speak more freely.
[all cheering]
[crowd clapping]
If you're having a vagina
remember it is not yours.
[all laughing]
It belongs to everybody.
This is the female's Indian reproductive system.
This area over here is called
-Papa's concern. -[all laughing]
So when your reproductive system
-is of a penisable age... -[all laughing]
...he will decide
who can slip it inside.
[crowd cheering and applauding]
And when he came for that show I was just like
flipping out.
I was so excited.
He was like, you know,
"I have a lot to learn from you, young lady."
And I was just like... [laughs]
I am a 25 year old man.
My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship
for three years.
Of late, she has started watching porn and become addicted with
mimicking certain erotic acts with sex toys as shown on the film.
Will it affect our sex life and will she face any problems in future?
So what answer to give to them?
So simple thing is she's enjoying herself. Why are you not
when you are getting
live porn action
gratis?
A lot of people refused to believe that he was for real
and I had to, I remember, once put his photograph in the paper to say
that he does exist.
I just wanted to take a few minutes to kick off our question and answer portion
the really saucy part of the evening, I hope.
And to invite Dr. Mahinder Watsa, the sexpert
that we all know and love, up to the panel.
Give Dr. Watsa a hand.
[applauding]
First of all I'm feeling very defensive.
There's a lot of clever ladies next to me...
[all laughing]
And knowing so much about sex education
that I didn't know myself.
[all laughing]
I remember a case where,
one of these young boys,
he came and said, you know,
"Can you tell us
"how much blood comes when, you know,
you have the first intercourse?"
So I asked them whether you think it's a bucketful or...
[all laughing]
And the boy takes out a handkerchief from his pocket
and says this little blood which is there
do you think she's a virgin?
-Oh. -Okay?
So this is the situation which we are in.
But really speaking we should start with
just simple hygiene which is very important.
Dr. Watsa, if you could talk a little bit about
your career and
how far we've come
and also where you would like to see us go
in terms of sexual education.
That's a long story.
[all laughing]
[man] The school that our kids go to,
has termed "sexy" as a bad term.
So what is the word which is used?
Because I remember when I was about 16
somebody did call me Sexy Watsa.
[all laughing]
What is the funniest, sort of, most ridiculous
or most fantastical question
that's come across your desk?
Good God.
-There are so many I can't remember now. -[all laughing]
There was this one thing that somebody wants to do a goat.
I wrote to him and asked him,
"Have you asked Lucy herself?"
[all laughing]
[woman] That seems like a great way to end this conversation...
It's such an honor to be here and see you live!
Especially in doing the same subject.
[woman] I do have a request.
For me, sex ed started with your columns.
It really did! I'm not kidding.
My parents never spoke to me about it.
I started reading the newspaper when I was 12.
I really need a picture with you!
I'm a huge fan! I read all your columns.
She said that she remembered your...
I still remember the day...
One alone.
I'm a huge fan.
Thank you.
You're really hilarious and to the point.
My name is Akansha.
Akansha Chawla.
You were wonderful, honestly.
You were everything that everyone was looking for in this event.
-Really? -Yeah.
Light and funny and making it relatable and
all the things that sex ed should be.
[Dr. Watsa] We are some 10 to 15 nations together.
You go to any state and they've got their own
culture and their own way of behaving.
All across the board
attitudes are more or less the same
as well as the questions are also the same
and the worries or the anxieties are also the same.
The world has changed very fast and so has India.
So as far as my field goes
I think there's a great need.
There's a raging debate in Maharashtra and Karnataka on sex education.
What kind of sex education should children be getting?
Oh, my gosh!
When I went through the photographs and the instructions for the teachers
I was literally shaken to the core.
You have to put a huge chart
of the female vagina
and the male organs
and then the students have to identify that "What is it called?"
It uses words like hole
while describing women's anatomy.
It uses terms like,
sucking
while describing oral sex.
And the book also goes to the extent...
The book also goes to the extent of saying...
First of all it aimed at HIV/AIDS awareness
so you can't call it a sex education program per se.
I think if you want to tell children to protect themselves against HIV
then abstinence is the only thing which will protect them 100%
not a condom or any other contraceptive.
I raised an objection to this entire curriculum
because it was a highly irresponsible curriculum.
[female newscaster] Several states including Gujarat,
Madhya Pradesh, Maharashtra, Karnataka, Rajasthan,
Kerala, Chhattisgarh and Goa,
declared the program unacceptable
and suspended it.
The petition committee accepted my arguments and
went ahead with objecting to the program.
We have an 8,000, 5,000 year old civilization.
It's not that we had sex education in the schools every time.
[man] ...and the conception takes place.
Suppose no union is there between the egg and the sperm
no conception will be there...
In 1952 when the Government of India started five-year plans
for development of India,
family planning was included.
[man] Only for married people.
Only for married people and those who wish to plan their families.
But human sexuality had no such backing.
Even in medical curriculums, the undergraduates
they were not taught anything about human sexuality.
He played a very pioneering role in that situation.
Just as I was qualifying or just qualified,
there was a very good journalist by the name of Talyarkhan.
This lady used to publish
a women's journal known asTrend.
So I used to write the back of that page
answering questions.
I used to get these letters from young people,
you know, from distant places
saying that we were molested as a child
and uncle did this
or a friend came to the house and threatened me
now I'm going to get married so
my husband will know that I had sex
so I'll commit suicide.
So that was the time when I
really started getting interested.
Frankly, I didn't know what to do about them
because there was nobody who I could fall back upon.
There was no NGO who was doing any work
there were no doctors who knew very much about the subject.
[Dr. Saroj Jha] Dr. Watsa has had to face huge challenges.
Despite the Kamasutra, talking about sex was taboo in India.
He was the one who started the first workshop on human sexuality.
Now finding this picture is a difficult thing.
Here we are.
[Dr. Jha] Dr. Watsa said "How do you expect to be
talking about sex
"to people if you're not using their language?"
He was there at one of my lectures at the Indian Medical Council
and it was a very big meeting
more than 800 doctors
where I was describing the history of homosexuality
and then one very senior doctor gets up
and says,
"Do you think there'll be any progress
in getting an injectible
"where we can change a homosexual into a heterosexual?"
I was very upset.
I was as polite as possible.
I said, "No, but,
maybe I'll find an injectible
that makes a heterosexual into a homosexual."
And the person who got up and clapped
was Dr. Watsa.
[Dr. Kalpana Apte] There was this one training program we were invited to.
All the doctors and counselors and he was talking about
the family planning work that we did, contraception.
And then he said how sex was an integral part
of any contraceptive work that we did.
So far so good. It wasn't too bad.
Then he got into his ultra-radical mood
and he says, "So,
"who can tell me about oral sex?"
And I'm like, don't look at me.
-Don't ask me. I don't know. -[man laughing]
You don't exist. I don't exist.
I was looking... All of us.
None of us wanted to look at him.
These conversations were not easy to be had in those days.
[doorbell ringing]
[woman] This time he's taken the initiative
and he's taken the effort to come here.
So I'm 100% sure he really wants things to be sorted now.
And he told me, "Okay, go ahead, find a good doctor and we'll go."
So, like, the first step was taken by him.
[Dr. Watsa] How did you find a good doctor?
[woman laughing] I was hunting online.
-I was doing a lot of research. -[Dr. Watsa] You hunted me, is it?
-[both] Yeah. -[woman laughing]
Amazing.
How long have you been married?
[both] Four years.
[man] You know, everything is perfect in our marriage.
Very good.
You're a remarkable couple. We'll have to give you a medal.
What do you find good in her?
[man] Everything.
Everything? My God. She must be very pleased with you.
-You don't quarrel with him it seems. -[woman laughs]
No, we do fight. Like we used to fight a lot, earlier.
How often do you have sex?
[woman in English] He doesn't feel like at all.
Even if I come close to him, I can see it on his face
that he doesn't want it at all.
And he gets irritated. I can see it on his face.
You want to change that to something better to make your wife happy?
I am in the transport business.
[in English] When we got married, I was very much well settled.
But after marriage, my business was literally shut down.
[in English] Breakfast time is breakfast time and sex time is sex time.
[woman] He's tried doing that but it's just not working for him.
[in English] What you require, you require to make up your mind.
Don't have this one-track mind as your transport business.
The next thing is since you masturbate
you must be thinking of something or the other, correct?
[woman] You don't masturbate. [man] I don't do it.
[woman] He doesn't masturbate at all.
You don't masturbate at all?
So you have nocturnal emissions?
-[man] No. -Then?
In any case, you must be seeing an erection sometime in your life, no?
Don't do intercourse if you don't want to.
You just touch her. Kiss her, hug her. Can you do that?
And you can kiss each other.
At least do you kiss each other or not?
[woman] Yes. [man] Yeah.
[woman] When I cry he gets pissed off.
He gets pissed off and he's like, "Why the hell do you have to cry?"
[man] I turn my face and I go to sleep.
That's the best thing you know?
[woman] No, that's not the best thing.
That's the best escape he's got.
Because he doesn't know how to console somebody who's crying.
And I understood it in a very hard way.
Because, see if I'm sad, I can speak it out, I can cry it out
but he can't even do that.
[Dr. Watsa] You've got a very wise wife, huh?
Do you have any objection to touching her organs?
Do you do that?
[man] No, very rare cases.
This is the clitoris. Which is her penis actually.
This is the one which makes her happy.
Why don't you take her on your lap?
Oral sex is also quite healthy.
There is no dirtiness about it.
If you want to do it, do it.
You can also do it for him.
It's up to you to decide.
Will you keep two days aside in the week?
Whether you do intercourse or you don't, these two days are reserved for
touching, kissing, and hugging and being nice about each other.
It's simple. You've done very well in these three years.
-So, this is one more step. Yeah? -[woman] Yeah.
Anyway, like a good Punjabi now you get better.
All Punjabis should not be like that.
[both laughing]
[man] Thank you, Doctor. Nice meeting you.
[Dr. Watsa] You too.
If there's anything, you'll let me know.
[woman] Thank you so much, Doctor.
[woman] We started from a place where there was no hope
for our relationship, frankly.
Maybe now we both are mentally prepared to take the next step.
[Dr. Watsa] All the best.
[woman] I think it will work out for us.
We'll be fine.
It's a difficult thing, you know, living together.
In a way.
Personally I like something like this, see?
These ones, you know.
Simple things.
Most of the times if it was a shirt or something...
[mumbling]
She'd pick it
and I used to accept that.
She was about 81 when she died.
In 2006.
Some years back now.
[woman] Were you very open?
Did you talk about everything between each other?
[Dr. Watsa] No, not particularly.
Not very much... I mean like,
in the sexual field and all, no.
Regretfully, we didn't spend more time which we should have.
And in fact she became quite independent.
Like for example,
if I went to a conference in Cyprus and all
she was on her own.
But looking back I think I could've been a better husband.
You know, I had more time spent on going to lectures
and things on weekdays and weekends and God knows all the time.
So I should've given her more time.
You know when you have something you don't really bother,
you know, you don't see it in that way.
Now when they're not there, then you start missing them, no?
That is always so.
We can put them back.
I think out of 365 Saturdays and Sundays
I must have been out for 300 Saturdays and Sundays.
Delhi, Jabalpur, all these places.
So many weekends that I was hardly home for the weekends.
Whose kids are these I don't know.
[doorbell rings]
Hmm.
There's a leakage again on the drainage side here.
Drain?
Yeah, on the first floor. It's all dripping.
I don't know what it is.
Mmm.
[Gautam Watsa] We've always been close.
I mean, of course, not as close as most other dads would be
because in the morning he was gone and I was gone.
In the evening he was at his clinic and he never came back till 10:30
and it was the same routine.
It was only over holidays or the occasional weekend
that we'd spend time together.
[Dr. Watsa] Who are the two kids here?
Is one of them Leisha or Ayesha?
No, one is me, that I can make out, but I don't know who the other one is.
-Oh, that's you? -Yeah.
I would finish school around 4:30, Dad would finish office around 5:00.
And on his way back home he was supposed to always fetch me.
Out of the five days in school
he normally forgot to fetch me
four days.
What did happen with me is I became fairly independent.
The reason being I think they traveled a lot.
Told you don't chew my laces.
Stupid girl.
Bailey, come here.
[Dr. Watsa] We don't meet that often.
Say once in 10 days or something.
The visits are very short and brief. They come and go.
He's quite occupied in his work,
and, generally, I'm occupied in my work.
So there's not much to...
I mean, talk about, in a way.
Okay, well, see you.
Take care.
[Dr. Watsa] Why don't you go down in the lift?
No, I need some exercise.
[whining]
See how she misses.
Come here.
Poochie.
Naughty girl.
Go!
Bailey!
Let's see if there's any mail come in now.
I answered all the mail in the morning.
[seagulls squawking]
[Dr. Watsa] "My neighbor is a married woman and very hot.
"They dry their clothes on the common railing between our apartment flat.
I saw her underwear drying on the railing,
and could not resist myself.
I was stealing the underwear when she caught me.
She has complained to her husband about me.
He is threatening to lodge a police complaint.
But he cannot get me arrested for fantasizing
about his wife, because my fantasies are mine.
How do I deal with the husband?"
"Stop your thinking about her underwear.
Meet the husband, apologize to him, and promise never to do it again.
Avoid any further police action. Stealing is not fantasy."
He stole the thing.
He still thinks he's okay.
[horn honking]
[in English] Okay?
Well, I know that Dr. Watsa is known to be one of the
key leaders in the field of sexuality education, family planning.
I'd like to think that maybe I am part of
the sexuality education brigade.
Is there a brigade?
[laughs]
I think a very tiny one.
[in English] I've tried to do it now on a voluntary basis.
Whoever wants me, I'm happy to go and talk to their kids about sex.
[chuckles]
[all laughing]
[Munshi] Most of our sessions start off with a lot of giggles,
and children looking here and there and everything, but...
[in English] If you're able to keep a straight face for the first 10 minutes...
[all laughing]
they realize that this is actually something they want to talk about.
If you say the word, "Penis," once, twice, thrice,
by the fourth or fifth time, it's just another word.
[in English] Eighty percent of the questions are always the same
and they're so basic.
Okay, not mouth and nose and ears and all.
[boy] Three. [girl] Five.
Five.
What about boys?
-Three. -Three.
I don't know.
So girls have three openings.
[girl] Vagina.
[Munshi] Everything that's happening has its own limitations.
I can have a very open discussion, but it's just those 20 kids over there
that I'm able to meet one time, you know?
How many schools can I go to,
or can an independent educator or even an NGO, reach?
Realistically, the school seems to me to be
the best place where you can do something like this.
Oh, you're already here?
-Good morning. -Morning, how are you? Sorry.
I didn't want to disturb you. Good morning.
-How are you doing? -Good, great.
There's a lot of...
Um...
What should I say? Resistance, when it comes to school authorities
in terms of, you know...
[Dr. Watsa] What difficulties have you found there?
Very recently, I was asked to conduct a session with some teachers.
And the day before, I sent her my slides.
But I think that when she opened the slides in the morning,
she got a shock,
and I had this panicked call, early in the morning, saying.
"But, ma'am, our ladies will be very uncomfortable."
-Yeah. -So I had to tell her,
"You have to just trust me and let me handle this,
let me come there and talk to you."
I think, still, many people have the old style of doing things.
So there's a conflict.
I am finding that, every year,
younger people are now going in for sexual intercourse.
Formerly, it was all like touching, kissing,
and all that was all right.
But now, they go all the way, as they say.
Even 15-year-old and 16 years,
they want to know about sexual intercourse and all that.
-How many times can you do it a week? -Oh, yeah.
-All these questions come up now, no? -Yes, yes.
Has any question embarrassed you?
-Not anymore. [laughs] -[Dr. Watsa] No?
Initially maybe, but, yeah.
Because you're now a hardened educator.
But really speaking,
do you think that what we're doing is the right thing?
I mean, like giving sex education to the young?
And minusing the parents out of this whole exercise?
Yes, it's a case of something being better than nothing, sadly.
But...
But that can cause trouble, no?
Uh... [laughs]
[Pratiba] Unfortunately, this takes years.
I'm still going to the court for my complaints
filed in 2004 and 2005.
I really don't know what's wrong with me. [laughs]
If you call it being something wrong.
[humming]
I'm a very restless person.
You can see that from my body language, I think,
and the speed at which I talk. I'm a very restless person.
My mother tells me, "Do you like to live alone?"
I tell her, "I never live alone. Understand that.
"There's no time to live alone. I'm busy doing so many things."
The Ask the Sexpert case.
the FIR was registered, the case has been filed,
but it has not yet come up for hearing.
It's black and white in law.
We've gone with an appeal saying that a law has been violated,
and it's being constantly violated, and the court needs to intervene.
And that's the reason why the court took cognizance of it.
The judge will say, "This is an informative article.
This is not something where, per se, sex is being depicted.
In fact, he's trying to help out youngsters
and find out what is the problem, what is not the problem."
It's very sad that
these things are happening every day.
What can you do?
If you go to high court, they'll say, "File a complaint with the magistrate."
Hmm.
Magistrate's court will take minimum seven to eight years.
-To decide the issue. -Decide, yeah.
And by the time the matter will come up after seven, eight years, they'll say,
"Nothing survives. Everybody has forgotten."
The sensibilities of people are going down.
What can you and me do?
I'm 43 today.
When I was 23, the society was much different.
In a civilized society, you have to have morals which are followed.
[male newscaster] Several hotels in Mumbai's Aksa Beach area
were raided late on Saturday.
Forty couples were booked for indecency in public.
[female newscaster] Ghaziabad police has come down
heavily on young lovers in public places.
The crackdown has been holding up couples
and punishing them on the spot.
The cops say this kind of humiliation is the only way
to ensure security for women
against men, who harass them and take advantage of them.
[in English] Aditi Mittal is back. She's a stand up comedian and writer.
This is the most natural human impulse,
is to want to interact with the opposite sex.
You know, you talking
like it's an ethical responsibility of a parent state.
This is not it.
And nowhere in the Constitution does it say...
[in English] With sex, everyone's had it.
Everyone's heard about it, everyone's sneakily read books.
And it blows my mind that we're still doing it sneakily,
that we're still so terrified.
[Dr. Watsa] I feel very sorry for the young girls who had gone out.
They must not have told their parents and so on
and now to be caught like this.
The police committed a serious breach of privacy.
Some years and years ago, this whole place was sandy.
This has become lovers' lane.
In between cars, they put their bikes.
From upstairs, you can see any number of them.
Lovers.
[Dr. Indira Kapoor] It was a love marriage of 55 years.
And what was great about them it was an equal footing marriage.
They were more of friends than husband and wife, typical Indian marriage.
They would have arguments,
but she will fight equal level, like if he did.
She would sit at the back of a lecture or something like that,
and then say, you know,
"You didn't do that well today," or something like that.
And would say you missed out this or that.
She was quite savvy on all those things.
She had sort of got into the field in this thing.
It was very hard for him,
because he was totally dependent on her for everything.
Even simple things like taking out his clothes,
doing his packing, you know. I mean, simple things.
But she had really, really spoiled him.
And he was quite at sea.
He's handled it well.
And, in fact, now, he likes to be on his own.
[Deepa] How many doorbells? My God. [Dr. Watsa] How many?
-Every 10 minutes, there's a doorbell. -I know.
[Deepa] Come here. Bailey, come.
Bailey, come here, baba.
We have arguments about this every time we meet.
Every time we meet.
Strange people coming to the house.
Some of them I would not even entertain, honestly speaking.
[Deepa] The fact is that he's 91 plus, he's frail now.
Let's help these people, no?
And we're always very concerned that somebody may come and actually,
not be happy with the advice he or she's been given and attack him.
What's happening?
But he just won't listen.
[doorbell rings]
[Deepa] People are walking all over the house, examining things.
[Gautam] I've told him a hundred times over that if you take an appointment,
take the person's number, take some details.
But he'll see them. This is the whole problem.
-How are you? My name is Watsa. -Hi, Watsa.
[in English] Hello? Yeah, speaking.
-[cell phone rings] -Oh, oh, that's mine.
He himself says he finds it now difficult to speak
for more than 10 minutes or 15 minutes.
I say what is the need?
You see people, last appointment you finish at 1:00.
I can understand you're passionate about it,
but then you don't go over the top.
You need to draw a line on what you're doing.
[Dr. Watsa] There's nothing to retire from.
I mean, if one person comes to you
and wants to discuss their problem and it's very intimate,
they can't discuss it with their family
or they don't like to go to their own family doctor and so on.
I mean, they want somebody who could
vibe with them also, and make them feel comfortable.
[girl] I'm 18 years old. And I'm from Mumbai.
I started... Can I say the word?
I started masturbating when I was 16.
I used to use a water pump.
Then I spoke to this friend of mine.
She was a little taken aback. Like, "How do you do that?
"Don't you get infections or something like that?"
When you talk about something like sex or masturbation,
it's really difficult to open up,
And especially for girls. You could get slut shamed.
I've been reading it for a long time, the column.
So I wrote in.
He told me that it was safe,
as long as I didn't insert it into the orifice.
I was pretty happy because, in two days, it got answered,
and I was kind of worried.
"I'm a 21 year old boy, and I'm gay.
"My parents want me to get married and even I don't wish to be gay,
"as gays are not accepted in society.
"Is there some treatment that can help me become straight?
"I've heard that psychiatrists may help."
Frankly, you will yourself decide
what will make you happier in your sex life.
If you decide for gay, take courage and speak to your parents,
but before that, check whether you are bisexual.
"I must say that I'm really surprised
"in the way you answer people's questions on sex.
"I do understand you are a specialist in that area,
"but that does not mean you encourage people to commit sin.
"It is clearly understood from your advice
"that it is all right to have relationship outside marriage.
"You are directly encouraging immorality, adultery,
"promiscuity, premarital sex.
"Making the already sinful world to sink even deeper
"into the evil pit with no sense of godliness,
"dignity or value based system."
I think we'll stop there.
-Hello! -[woman] Hi.
The bell doesn't ring, is it?
Come, come, come. My bell doesn't ring?
[laughs]
Many other things don't work.
-Like me. [chuckles] -I know.
Mini, for so many years you've been doing this.
You don't
suffer from what they call a burnout?
Mini's cases vary so much.
There's such a lot of variation
And second point is Mini loves his job.
Like if you phone Mini during one of those sessions, you've had it.
He's not going to answer you however urgent you may sound.
But you can get a burnout. So what do you do about it?
What do you suggest should be done?
Write a book. Like you did.
[laughs]
What's the title?
I'm Normal.
-It's Normal. -It's Normal.
But why are you looking so sullen about it?
I thought you would be ecstatic that your book has finally come out.
Excited, it takes more to excite Mini.
-[laughs] -He's got so used to it.
He's got so used to what
excites people normally. [laughs]
[both] My penis is small.
I think that question has already been dealt with.
Is it?
Do you want to retain it?
-Or do you want to... -I think retain it.
[Vaishali Mathur] I had been looking for somebody who would do a
sex book for us
and I got super excited.
I was, like, here's the person who should be writing the book.
Then I flew down.
I said I have to come here and convince him to do this book.
This question
which is... I don't know. To me, it was very offensive.
Do you want to take it up?
"During sex, can a husband and wife eat or drink..."
Yeah, I was also a little...
Urine, a lot of people do, but...
Stool certainly...
But I think it's so unusual that... Leave it.
I'll leave it?
Okay.
Just... I was just grossed out completely
when I saw this.
This is...
"If I smear a male dog's semen on my...
"...when having sex with a woman, what kind of baby will be born?"
"Dog-human"...
And I've said it will come out bow-wow, no?
-First check if the dog will oblige. -[laughs]
[Vaishali] Everytime I try to get intimate with her,
I hear her ex's voice
coming from her navel
and asking me to get lost.
I have done some research and concluded
that her navel is a portal to her ex. [laughs]
You have to be thinking a lot in order to get to the point
where the navel starts talking to you.
So, Dr. Watsa's response is
you need to visit a psychiatrist.
Please let me know your research technique.
Shall try talking to my navel.
Tell your friend to tell her navel friend to get lost.
[woman] The only way to deal with it is with humor.
Absurd questions.
The joke is always that none of us
are immaculate conceptions
and how did we have a population of billions
if we were not doing it?
People think that I have made up all these questions
Yeah... For titillation.
I couldn't even think of the number of things they've thought about
but anyway...
On this page we are done.
My wife has a strange habit
of urinating a little
in the tea that she serves to guests.
She says it gives her a kick.
Even though I was shocked at first,
I have also started enjoying it.
In fact, even I urinate a little
when I make tea for our guests.
Is it safe to continue doing this?
That's a weird question.
How do you answer a question like that?
-I mean... Lunatics. -[laughs]
[man] I was very happy when I turned vegan
in 2007.
You know, I was free from many, many...
-Ailments. -Limitations
and ailments.
My sinus was off.
[chuckles] Actually, I became over enthusiastic
and in the last 8 months, I went a step further.
I became a raw foodist.
-You did what? -Raw foodist.
-Raw food. -Within six months
-my capacity was over. -[phone ringing]
-Please take the call. -Excuse me.
[man sighs]
[man] From last 8 months,
there has been a significant decrease.
Not in the desire
but the capacity.
The penis doesn't stiffen up.
It doesn't penetrate.
Hmm.
And my wife is left with unhappiness.
And you don't do masturbation, do you, in between?
-I do it very regularly. -You do?
I'm addicted to porn sites.
I need to release myself
-once every day. -Okay.
When I go to the office, the first thing I do is that.
And then only I feel like working.
Right. In the office you do masturbation?
[stammers] It's my own office, my own cabin.
-I see. -I see porn sites.
I read some stories.
Then I masturbate.
Actually, with increase in age, the difference between
the husband and the wife has a little bit widened.
-Widened. -Uh...
I'm into business, she's into household.
She is not vegan.
You see, I'm the happiest person in my group.
-Very good. -I'm the luckiest person in my group.
Friend circle.
I am also
most pampered boy in my family.
The limitation is that
everything is decided by my father.
Everywhere, my father has got 95% control.
-Oh. -I'm having barely 5% control.
He takes a call... And it is, uh,
surprisingly he's 100% right
and, surprisingly, I'm 100% wrong.
I feel I'm powerless
on the back of my mind.
So you think all these factors
are affecting your erection?
I believe it is affecting my confidence
on the back of my mind.
But when you don't have confidence,
that can also reflect back on your
-genital system, no? -Yes.
Whenever I bring up a topic
-of fancy dressing, or... -Yeah.
Then she immediately throws back...
-Then, what will happen? -Then, out of...
No, no. Out of all six brothers' wives,
she has been the most modern.
Right. You're doing a lot of comparison with everybody.
She's doing.
Okay. Have a look at this. Like this, see?
Take her legs on your shoulder
Even when I'm talking to you,
some ideas are coming to your mind and...
No. No erection is coming.
No, erection will not come now.
Yes, ideas I'm getting.
But...
Actually, you know, there has been a bit of conflict.
Her friends circle, there are four-five programs in three months.
And with my friends circle, zero programs.
Zero program. Then...
Fifth or sixth time, my head will go off.
"I'm not coming. You go alone."
-See, there's one thing. -Yeah.
You are able to identify
that there are a lot of these conflicts.
-Mmm-hmm. -Which are, in a way,
-not very mature. -Yeah, yeah.
-This is what a child would do. -Correct.
-So, you're not a child, but... -Yeah.
-That childlike attitude. -Yeah.
Think how you can always make yourself like an adult.
I'm just trying to settle down
because, you know,
you never think of these things
unless somebody inquires, you know?
And then you feel
you know, head turning...
There are some areas I wanted to know.
I wanted to engage a couple in, sort of,
some romantic...
-Situations. -Situations.
Not, I mean, not...
But if two couples together
can generate something, like, joint swimming.
You know, and, uh...
Yeah, but that's a difficult thing to do.
Yeah, I've to convince all of them.
-First, you do this. -First, I'll do this.
-Then we'll see. -Yeah, we'll see.
-Okay? -Yeah.
[man chuckles]
My God, we've grown up.
We're discussing these topics.[chuckles]
[Dr. Watsa] Every man wants to think he's a hero.
[horns honking]
Doctor, can a...
Can a young person read this?
[Dr. Watsa] Yeah, yeah.
Nineteen-20 years?
[Dr. Watsa] Oh, definitely. It's meant for them.
[laughing]
Tell me something nice to write.
[chuckles]
You should know. You're the funny man.
[woman] Hello?
Good evening, everyone. It's lovely to see a full house here.
Of course, I expected a full house because
it's Dr. Watsa.
So, are there any interesting anecdotes or stories from your patients
that you wish you could address in your column?
Is there anything that you can think of?
Well, I thought you'd ask me that question
and I sort of made a little note over there.
Maybe you could read it from there.
"I have a small penis and I can't seem to satisfy my girlfriend.
My astrologer has advised me to pull it every day.
for 15 minutes while reciting a prayer.
I have been doing this for a month
but it hasn't helped.
What should I do?"
[audience laughing]
"If he was right, most men would have a penis
hitting their knees."
[laughing]
"God doesn't help gullible, foolish men.
Go visit a sexpert instead
who can teach you the art of making love."
I'd like to throw the floor open to you guys.
Please come up and ask a question. The mic will be around.
Come on, guys.
Somebody needs to break the ice here.
Anyone with questions?
What is digital sex?
Using your fingers.
[laughing]
That's it!
Thank you so much.
Different castes have different sex power.
Different castes have different sex power? No, no, no.
Different castes have different power.
We'll sit down and talk about it after I've signed this.
I'm going to crash the queue
just to say congratulations
and I will call you and we shall meet. This week.
Yeah, you better.
-Of course, I have your autograph. -You've divorced me.
No, no. [laughs]
All the very best.
The power of sex depends upon the community.
Muslim has more power.
-Parsi has got more... -No, no, no. Nothing like that.
-You're taking him home? -Yes.
Let me have a picture with you.
Sex also depends upon the height of a woman or a man.
Or the size of...
-Of a woman. -No, no. Not at all. Not at all.
This is going to be very handy for me to read
-because my husband left me... -Oh.
Three-and-a-half years ago
when I was going through menopause.
Thank you very, very much. All the best.
The smaller the height of a...
-No, no, no. -Boy. Has got a very small...
Not at all. Not at all.
So the size and the height is not concerned at all?
Not at all.
If you can get the book, you read it. It will be a useful book for you.
Yeah.
[Dr. Watsa] Ignorance is profound sometimes.
What we are doing is like a drop in the ocean, literally.
[Pratiba singing in Hindi]
[Pratiba] Maybe it's just a drop in the huge ocean
but, in India, if you want to bring change,
you need to have lots and lots of patience.
Lots and lots of patience.
And especially if you're looking for a positive change, certainly.
[laughs]
It's been so many years. That's why I'm saying that now,
they're exhausted of questions also,
so, they've come down to pee in the tea, et cetera, et cetera.
[laughs] You're serving tea with pee!
And you're printing it.
I mean... [clicks tongue]
What's wrong with them?
So, the column is what it was.
The case is where it was.
[woman] Would you be interested to know if the column
has been of help to people?
For what? I'm not bothered about people's sexual health.
I'm not a sexpert like Mahinder Watsa.
I don't make my living out of solving people's sexual problems.
If they say, "I'm well within my right, my freedom of expression,"
I'm well within my right to object to it.
That's what democracy is unfortunately all about.
[Dr. Watsa] Okay, here we are.
I'd like to read you something
which, I think, will give in summary
what my hopes that the work that I'm doing will help.
All human beings are sexual.
Going through life is a wonderful journey,
full of excitement and surprises.
Learning about sexuality begins from the time a child is born
and continues until the end of life.
That's pretty.
That's pretty, yeah?
-It's been a pleasure, sir. -How do you do?
Yeah, I mean...
[laughs] I am awestruck.
Completely.
[laughs] I don't have my phone.
I just wanna go home, get my phone, and get a picture with you.
-Go. I'll wait for you. -It's just...
Okay. I'll be right back!
-Go. -Bye. See you!
Good.
Hello. I'm back with my phone.
We thought you'd disappeared.
Not at all. [laughs]
These people who are in their 40s or 50s, they're like a sandwich generation.
You know? Because their parents taught them something
and their children are completely not what they thought of.
Like, I'm 27 years old and I have a curfew.
I earn, I make a living, and I have a curfew at 10 o'clock.
-You have a curfew? -Yes! [laughs]
Well, you're a pretty girl, so...
You're what people want, you know.
Please. I can take care of myself. At least in my city.
You're not trying to, now sort of think also
of settling down in marriage or something?
No, I'm not very...
You'll wait for your parents to arrange it?
No, not at all.
I'm waiting for my career to set.
But why not simultaneously?
You have to be economically independent. Then que sera sera.
-Whatever happens, happens. -That's good. That's good.
But all my guy friends who are my buddies
they have categorically told me that I'm cute but I'm not hot.
Better change your friends.
[laughs] Hopefully.
They're not your friends.
They're just friends.
-Smile. -Let me take my glasses off.
Oh, my God. You're just like me.
Okay. Okay.
Smile.
Okay. I'm smiling.
Don't you consider yourself as a legend?
-Not at all. -Oh, please.
That's very modest.
Not at all.
Okay. So, legend is high. Too much.
Do you consider yourself
that you have achieved something
that is significant and that has made...
-I think I have. -...life better for people in India?
That I don't know, whether it's made life better for people in India
but I have established sex education.
-Isn't that contributing... -From 1976.
Isn't that contributing towards your country?
Yeah, it's all right. So I'm not feeling great about it.
You're not feeling great about it?
No. Actually, it's okay.
I think, by age, you know,
people stop being excited.
Or, you know, they don't feel that...
No, no, no.
-No? -Uh-uh.
-It's always been like that. -Like, see, I'm so...
I'm so excited talking with you,
you're just calm and composed.
Yeah, I find people, you know,
make opinions about each other by themselves.
So why should I make my own opinion?
They might think "this fellow is a rogue."
"This fellow is writing rubbish."
-Do you enjoy your work? -Yeah. Why not?
You always should enjoy it, otherwise what's the point of...
Yeah, what's the point. Exactly.
Doing something you don't like?
Absolutely.
Okay. Thank you so much.
-Welcome. Good luck. -It was a pleasure.
-Thank you. -Good luck to you.